Because the post is asking what is your favorite thing saved. Meaning posts in here are going to be SFW or NSFW. If someone just so happens to be looking thru and they find something they want to open and it's not marked NSFW then they know they can open it with no worries.
Because it's for caution. It's like the warning before movies that say "Some content may be blah blah blah" that way you're aware that SOME of the content may not be safe. It's obvious that not everything in this post is NSFW so now you have a warning that some of the content isn't and then you have which posts are specifically marked as such.
But the thread isn't only for NSFW. It's just a curtesy thing. Believe it or not, people can save humorous content, cute content, NSFW content, and much more. This isn't a porn sub, it's not always NSFW.
I would never ask someone in a thread marked NSFW to tag their shit NSFW, but I'd never fight against the rule either. It's five extra key stokes that help some people.
Well with that logic might as well not view anything anywhere except for in the comfort of your own home at all. Now I have a question. What's the issue? It's to help people view content, why is it bad that it's marked as such?
It's forcing an inconvenience on others for the convenience of someone else. It's fine if people want to mark their comments out of their own free will, but forcing people to is silly.
Its an argument of over regulation than that of the actual issue here.
And no its not the same logic when the comment thread is already marked.
I'm a mobile app user, so anything marked NSFW just has a little box saying so. Is it different on desktop or anything else where it's directly an inconvenience? Just trying to understand.
Would graphic videos on the news be a better example? News covers a broad band of things but they give a warning as to what may contain tragic content.
"Linking to NSFW material" as in the comment has a link attached. Not censoring a normal text comment.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:40:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jetz72 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:55:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea is that the thread is going to be linking to both SFW and NSFW content, but they only had the two options, so they erred on the side of caution.
Because it's just a text thread. People can be in the thread at work without clicking a link to something NSFW, but to do that, comments would need to be marked.
Links in a NSFW thread should just be assumed to be NSFW. If anything, they should have people mark SFW links. As the rule stands now, there's no difference between NSFW threads and normal ones aside from the quantity of NSFW links.
this ask reddit response to the question "You're Christopher Nolan. You decide to troll the film world by making a movie so ridiculous anybody defending it would look like a tool. What's your plotline?:
On the surface it looks like a period piece set in the 60's -70's. A man in prison (Joeseph Gordon Levitt) struggling with depression. In his cell, contemplating suicide, he begins recounting his troubled childhood to his cellmate, Micheal Cane.
We go quickly through his younger life, a child on a farm with 4 siblings, a strict father and a distant mother. The family moves to the city, where he gets bullied for being a hick. He finds solace reading old military books. Using tactics from his book, he and a group of misfit friends defeat the bullies.
Cut to prison where he is still considering suicide, staring at a homemade noose. Michael Cane urges him to continue.
He then relates dropping out of school, and traveling with some hippies led by Ellen Page, whom he is in love with. She flirts but keeps him at a distance. He has a knack for painting. This act focuses on his pursuit of Page, trying to get close to her through art until it is revealed she is a lesbian, when he walks in on her with another woman.
Dejected, he leaves the group.
He tries to get into a prestigious art college to avoid the draft but is rejected. He gets drafted. Standard military "War is Hell" montage interspersed with him in prison crying. Cane is not consoling, but tells him some wise Michael Cane words about life being a struggle and it is our choice to live or die.
He gets out and on a chance encounter meets back up with Page. She is now part of a political activist group. Having nowhere to go he joins them. With his strict fathers upbringing, love of history, charisma and military service he becomes the face of the group. They plan to hold a huge rally. At the rally he gets arrested. At trial, Page backstabs him to get her charges dropped, and he gets 5 years.
Back to Cane and Levitt. Hes been in jail almost a year and is considering suicide. Cane, who we thought all along was talking him down, is actually urging him to hang himself. A back and forth of dialog ensues, culminating in Cane attacking Levitt and putting the nose around his neck. Levitt, now wanting to live,fights him off. Just then the guards appear to break up the fight. They also announce he is getting early release.
Cut to Levitt being released from prison. Making his way down a long hallway. He passes by Canes cell, where he has a defeated look on his face. The camra lingers on the cell and Cane says to someone offscreen. "I've failed. I tried to stop you but I've failed. Father help us all." Camera pans to reveal Ellen Page, in the shadows smirking in the corner of the jail cell.
As Levitt exits the prison a sepia tone takes over the screen. We see we are not in 1970's America, but 1920's Berlin. As Levitt walks down the street a free man, we see brief shots from his past, redone in a style appropriate for the 20's. All scenes with Ellen Pages have her replaced with Cillian Murphy. He enters a beer hall and is greated by cheers from his former protesters, now wearing swastika armbands.
You realize you just spent 2 and a half hours rooting for Hitler.
Several days late, but I'm pretty sure she's a devil and Cane is an angel. So she can appear wherever she wants, and at that point she's gloating. Also explains Cane's apparent mission, and his line, "Father help us all."
sorry, i didn't pick that up. I honestly don't know. it my be a stylistic choice, as we are about to see the setting change from 70's america to 20's Berlin. and Page being replaced with another actress. which i think works well. or if it breaks the rules too much i don't think its vital to the plot and Page can meet him outside of the prison before it all changes including herself.
theoriok ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:08:14 on October 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Page being replaced with another actress
Cillian Murphy is not an actress
Vintitch ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw where this was going after hearing the rejected art college thing, but for some reason, rather than spoiling it, it made it better and more interesting. Weird how that works.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but when he retells, how he got rejected from art school, I thought, that's for sure Hitler and when I realized, I was right, I got so happy, that I'm sad now, because it's so stupid that unimportant things make me feel so good :)
JTM13254 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:22:15 on October 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the little things in life that bring us joy. Don't be sad, even if it's 93 days later :)
Can someone explain why Ellen Page gets replaced by Cillian Murphy? Is it just because she was an angel acting through his friend? I'm pretty confused.
Soulren ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 08:26:41 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit dude I was laughing at first cause I thought she had always thought the raccoon was her cat, but then it turns out she had an actual cat and now I'm laughing more.
Of course she knows shes playing with an actual racoon. Just forcing the tag 'blind girl plays with cat" just forces a comedic situation. She's not blind and not "thinking she's playing with her cat but a wild racoon got in instead". Besides somebody is standing next to her filming.
Soulren ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:50:28 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:44:54 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties
Mutterer ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:48:56 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course he's not fun at parties. He over explains obvious jokes that no one needed an explanation for.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:45 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious lmao
omaca ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:27:37 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course he's being sarcastic. He posts an obvious response to...
...ah fuck it.
Mutterer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:25:49 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker had fun with his home insurance recently after a burglary. His laptop (and only computer in the house) was one of the things taken. Insurance company sent him a voucher to replace it like for like at a mainstream computer outlet, only he couldn't get it for that price in store. He called the insurance and asked what's going on, and they said the gave him the voucher for the online price. "And how am I meant to get online?" he enquired, "Just use your comput-aaah I see the problem sir, we'll order it for you".
NedryOS ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:20:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this. I know this comment is old, but that comment you linked was helpful to me as a victim of Harvey. Insurance has already been filed but I may need that comment again.
Ferg8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:37 on October 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to see it will help some people. I hope you'll be alright with that terrible tragedy.
Thank you :)
In a way the flood was cleansing. It got rid of all my physical junk that I was always stressing over. Now I can focus less on the things piled up in my closet and more on rebuilding and bettering myself.
[deleted] ยท 3416 points ยท Posted at 13:29:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this comment saved too, it's from a askreddit thread very long ago I don't have the source anymore, very insightful, here's a similar one about growing old:
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts.
When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well.
Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him.
Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: โHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?โ I told him I had.
โThatโs what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itโs like youโre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youโre young and think itโs going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.โ
Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me.
โAnd if youโre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.โ
We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on.
โYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itโs almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnโt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canโt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.โ
Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket.
โItโs a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereโs nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnโt taken my youth for granted. But itโs too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iโll never get the hot water back on again.โ
He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.
He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself.
โAnd thatโs what it feels like to grow old.โ
This post has made me realize that I am not at all at peace with getting older and my own mortality. Middle of the day and I'm filled with terror. Huzzah.
Having seen 2 people in their 80s die recently, I really doubt there is any time that you're ok with it. Maybe if you're in serious pain, but in relatively good order l can't see it.
syh7 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather recently passed away and this brought tears to his my eyes. Thank you <3
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:59:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My condolences. Hope you're feeling alright.
syh7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happened three-ish weeks ago, I'm okay now. We were pretty tight so it was hard in the beginning (especially because it happened so fast - three weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer he was gone) but I'm fine now :) Thank for asking.
This is one of the most motivating things I've ever read. Just the metaphor and imagery really works and you can relate to what is being said. I'm gonna go do something productive...
I. Loved. This. Made me tear up a little. My mother is turning 55 tomorrow; still as beautiful as ever, but I noticed wrinkles on her face that weren't there before, and she's been turning up the volume on the tele more lately. It seems just like yesterday she was my age, and yet here we are. Thank you for this.
Hi, i wanted to thank you and your grandpa. He almost made me cry thanks to you for sharing :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:15 on November 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha it's not my grandpa. It's a pretty common repost, I forgot who the OP was, but I believe one of the commentors below linked to the original thread.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:43 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was my first thought as well. Maybe they think the Earth disc is flipping in space though, or the stardome is rotating around us rather than us within the stardome.
Guess: Somewhere in Canada or Europe? Or, for that matter, South America. It's weird because it looks like there are two axes of rotation. But that could be somewhat explained by the fact that the earth is rotating away from that "fixed point" in space. Looking at a globe could help visualize.
This is just the absolute best thing I've come across on reddit. (this and the rice kid)
Gonna copypasta it as it is :
Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.
He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.
No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.
So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...
But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.
In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.
First time that I read this and I am not ashamed to say that I started crying a little bit when it got to the "Today you... tomorrow me." I'm from the country but moved to a big city many years ago. After getting burned by a couple of sob stories, I stopped helping strangers. I just keep going and ignore them. This story hit me hard.
Someday that little girl is going to be on Reddit and find this story. And then she'll be like, "Dad, hundreds of people stopped for strangers on the road because of you."
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:44:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am just going to quietly point at the movie Pay it Forward (2000) which deals with this exact topic and is one of the most moving things I have seen lately
I love this. I have read this comment countless times and I will always upvote it. Its difficult to maintain faith in the human race with so much going on in the world...but this always reminds me that shit's not all bad all the time.
Vaguely similar situation happened to my brother and I. We are going car camping in the mountains in his POS, primer black painted, gaarbage Honda hatchback. My brother is driving. He goes up a hill that is very steep, in the middle of almost nowhere (no one but hunters and campers scarcely spread out for miles) and pops the clutch out. We are on the right side of the road on an embankment that has a good four-foot steep trop. He misjudges the sharpness of the corner and we back up, bottoming out and we are STUCK. like, stuck stuck. When getting out of the passenger side, I had to climb akin to a billy goat because we are that much teetering on this embankment. I wish I took pics. So, this is the beginning of a three-day trip, we are about 10 miles from camp still, and it is about 3 hours until dark. Fuck. We have no cell signal, and "town" is a 15 mile walk. Shit.
We are sitting for about an hour debating on taking our backpacks and walking back into "town" (it was like a gas station but had a payphone) when a big, beat up suburban drives slowly past us, and the people are hunters. All with rifles and sidearms, and none of them spoke a lick of English. There were 7 of these big, mountain-men dudes who were Mexicans. After us explaining the situation as best we could, and pointing to our situation, and about 2 minutes after meeting us, all 7 dudes hop out of their vehicle, walk over to the car that is stuck, all of them grab a part of the car and lift the whole damn car back onto the road for us. They saved our weekend. We offered cash, food, and anything that they might need, but they wouldn't accept anything and wished us a good trip. The trip was not the best (2 6-foot plus guys who didn't pack a tent because 'yea, we'll TOTALLY just sleep in the car' trying to sleep in the cold in a Honda Civic hatchback sucked) but those dudes were awesome.
beebish ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:35:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading this one, it was great then and great now.
this made me teary eyed. thanks for saving it and sharing it
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:42:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for sharing this
Sowila ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:54:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so amazing and inspiring. Just knowing that there are still such selfless people in the world is heart warming and a little unbelievable to be honest. Lol. Thank you for sharing. Made my day.
That....made me cry. Inspiring. I will do this too.
Sulauk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a very Canadian mind frame when it comes to roadside car trouble. Sometimes you've gotta turn people away cause they keep stopping but help is already on the way.
u/rhoner got help when he desperately needed it, food for his starvation and they didn't even accept his money, which they most likely were short on. IMO "Today you, Tomorrow me" means:
Today it is me who helps you, out of kindness and compassion , and I won't expect anything in return, and someday(or tomorrow) someone will do the same thing for me.
I always took it as "today you needed the help. Tomorrow I could need help, and when tomorrow comes, I'll want someone to help me, so that's why I help you today." Almost like "there but for the grace of God go I." No judgment on you and your situation, because tomorrow I too may need someone to help me.
yerog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:23:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today I helped you, tomorrow someone will help me. Similar idea to paying it forward, or karma.
From "what's the laziest thing you've ever done?" courtesy of /u/TupperWolf
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
There were a lot of things we couldn't do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment.
It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. We needed 100 hours in the jet to complete our training and attain Mission Ready status. Somewhere over Colorado we had passed the century mark. We had made the turn in Arizona and the jet was performing flawlessly. My gauges were wired in the front seat and we were starting to feel pretty good about ourselves, not only because we would soon be flying real missions but because we had gained a great deal of confidence in the plane in the past ten months. Ripping across the barren deserts 80,000 feet below us, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. I was, finally, after many humbling months of simulators and study, ahead of the jet.
I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Walter in the back seat. There he was, with no really good view of the incredible sights before us, tasked with monitoring four different radios. This was good practice for him for when we began flying real missions, when a priority transmission from headquarters could be vital. It had been difficult, too, for me to relinquish control of the radios, as during my entire flying career I had controlled my own transmissions. But it was part of the division of duties in this plane and I had adjusted to it. I still insisted on talking on the radio while we were on the ground, however. Walt was so good at many things, but he couldn't match my expertise at sounding smooth on the radios, a skill that had been honed sharply with years in fighter squadrons where the slightest radio miscue was grounds for beheading. He understood that and allowed me that luxury.
Just to get a sense of what Walt had to contend with, I pulled the radio toggle switches and monitored the frequencies along with him. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, controlling daily traffic in their sector. While they had us on their scope (albeit briefly), we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them unless we needed to descend into their airspace.
We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed. Center replied: "November Charlie 175, I'm showing you at ninety knots on the ground."
Now the thing to understand about Center controllers, was that whether they were talking to a rookie pilot in a Cessna, or to Air Force One, they always spoke in the exact same, calm, deep, professional, tone that made one feel important. I referred to it as the " Houston Center voice." I have always felt that after years of seeing documentaries on this country's space program and listening to the calm and distinct voice of the Houston controllers, that all other controllers since then wanted to sound like that, and that they basically did. And it didn't matter what sector of the country we would be flying in, it always seemed like the same guy was talking. Over the years that tone of voice had become somewhat of a comforting sound to pilots everywhere. Conversely, over the years, pilots always wanted to ensure that, when transmitting, they sounded like Chuck Yeager, or at least like John Wayne. Better to die than sound bad on the radios.
Just moments after the Cessna's inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up on frequency, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed. "I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed." Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren. Then out of the blue, a navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. You knew right away it was a Navy jock because he sounded very cool on the radios. "Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check". Before Center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: "Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground."
And I thought to myself, is this a ripe situation, or what? As my hand instinctively reached for the mic button, I had to remind myself that Walt was in control of the radios. Still, I thought, it must be done - in mere seconds we'll be out of the sector and the opportunity will be lost. That Hornet must die, and die now. I thought about all of our Sim training and how important it was that we developed well as a crew and knew that to jump in on the radios now would destroy the integrity of all that we had worked toward becoming. I was torn.
Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet. Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: "Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?" There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. "Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground."
I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: "Ah, Center, much thanks, we're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money."
For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the Houston Center voice, when L.A.came back with, "Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one."
It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day's work. We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.
For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.
brdzgt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:39:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! I remember reading the same thing translated to my native language on a car website a year or two ago... The editor must have loved the story too.
shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
This was so heartwarming I had to save it so I could read it on my bad days. Here it is for those that don't want to open extra tabs:
"I grew out of it, but ill share my ex-racism.
I grew up in Wendover. The population was 85% Mexican, and they were all wannabe gangsters and fake-ass drug dealers. Teen pregnancy started at 14-15, and graduation rate from High School is around 35 out of 300. I'm a white, nerdy little shit, and was consistently getting bullied and beat up. I eventually grew to understand that Mexican meant asshole while living out there.
I finally moved away, and enrolled at a different school. I felt kinda weird no longer being a 'minority'. In school, I had a homeroom class and sat next to a Mexican kid (Juan-Carlos). I treated him like shit. I had mentioned to one of his friends my experiences in Wendover, and he told Carlos.
One day, Carlos was listening to.me treat him like shit, and he snapped. He got up, stood in front of my desk, slammed his fist down and breathed out slowly. Then he smiled at me.
"I understand your anger. If I met those assholes at your last school, I'd hate my culture too. Please remember that I am proud of my heritage, and if you hate us, you hate me, but I'll never hate you."
I was embarrassed. Being yelled at by somebody you've been talking shit about all the time...
I stood up, and got ready to sock him. I got used to getting in fights when somebody confronted me, I was ready to fight him.
This motherfucker hugged me when I stood up. He fucking hugged me.
Weird as fuck, but I've never forgotten it. Ever since, we've been friends. Eventually he moved, and I moved again.
Juan-Carlos Lopez, I don't know if you are a Redditor, but its because of you that I finally learned to not be a cunt when cunted to :P" --/u/CyanogenHacker
bk1a ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 17:34:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point of the story is that people are people, not data. If a bunch of bad people happen to be part of the same culture, it isn't because the culture is bad. They are just bad people. Culture is not personality.
That doesn't change the fact that statistically, African-Americans have an average IQ 15 points below that of whites, and commit substantially more crime.
This two-month-old comment is getting lots of attention, for some reason. Really makes me think.
Luhood ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:18:25 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you took half of a statistics class. The point you're missing is the rather important why. Why do black people on average have a lower IQ (if they do, that is)? Even if they do, so what? Is IQ really the only significant measurement of intelligence?
It's not about what the numbers say, but what the numbers actually say.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:46:17 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't bother - he's an actual Nazi, they ain't so smart.
They say that black people are, on average, more stupid than almost every other race. Occam's Razor is in full effect here.
Luhood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:03 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Occam's Razor
Let me just fucking stop you right there. A lot of arguments I can tolerate, but Occam's fucking Razor - the Universal Law of Sloth and Can't-be-Arsed - is something I can't tolerate. "Why make it needlessly complicated?" is only applicable under the same limit as any other argument: Can you prove the validity beyond any reasonable doubt?
For instance, poverty and other Social Class-based issues has a much better chance of being the culprit here. The fact that low-paying jobs where black people are much more common doesn't necessarily nurture the same types of intelligences as high-paying jobs? Something as simple as poor diets, stress related to dangerous neighbourhoods, and poor sleep due to stress and being overworked?
If you actually want to be taken any sort of serious in a scientific sense the last thing you should do is invoke Occam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Luhood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:52 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're still ignoring the why. Why does a black child benefit less? Things like being a black outsider in a "white world" surely account for something, no? It takes more than one study to prove something, specially something that is so understudied and yet has so many causes and reasons as intelligence.
The why was presented at the beginning. Africans are genetically less intellectually capable than almost any other race. Barring the various pygmy races, the only race I can think of that is even less capable is the Australian Aborigines, a subgroup of which, the Tasmanian Aborigines, was so stupid they literally forgot how to make fire.
Evolution doesn't stop at the neck, you know.
Edit: the fire thing has recently come into question, based on new research, but the Aborigines are still pretty fucking stupid.
Also, you're assuming there is only one study, for some reason. There is, in fact, a bounty of studies attesting to African academic inferiority (try saying that five times fast) no matter the conditions. Despite everything that has been tried, the black-white academic gap still persists.
Now, if an impossibly impoverished white child does just as well as an upper-class black child, with a significant margin appearing between white and black children of equal income levels, that would indicate that social class does not account for the gap, right?
Luhood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:58 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm not American so I really have no idea what those SATs are about, as I've never done one. Though on the other hand just about everything I have ever read about them (albeit on Reddit, so take that however you wish) implies that if there's anything that is a worse indicator of intelligence than IQ it is SAT scores.
But like I said, everything I have on the subject is from second hand anecdotes on Reddit.
Every school in the area goes to this field trip. This guy happened to be in a predominately black school so all of his classmates were black.
Kids like to sing, so they naturally were singing while enjoying their day outside, away from school.
They probably have several field trips come through in the course of a week, during which the kids pick hundreds of dollars worth of cotton, so they make them turn it in (farming is already a pretty low-profit venture).
All of that being said, and even assuming 100% good faith and that the logical explanation holds, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to bring a class of black children on a field trip picking cotton?
I just found it hilarious how every element of the field trip somehow perfectly corresponded to actual slavery in the U.S., right down to the work songs, and somehow everyone involved thought it was A-ok. The guy telling the story is also just naturally funny.
konaya ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:21:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my eyes, all of it was all right until they had to turn the cotton in. Then it stopped being a fun time out and started being child labour.
I could see why someone who is from Not-America wouldn't really get this. It's the tone of his voice, how he's telling the story, the events of the story, the language he's using. Every bit of it is hilarious.
F_A_F ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I remember this the first time round and the original got deleted. The poor guy telling the tale couldn't cope with being an Internet sensation.
Having been near the centre of a media whirlpool I kinda agree with him.
Seriously though, don't ever think you don't have a chance in that field. My highschool sweetheart had a younger sister that dated a younger brother of the girl I'd fooled around with when I was sixteen and drunk and never told her about. The only people that knew knew were me, the girl (I'll call her gwiniffer) and her younger brother who'd heard some evidence he corroborated upon visual contact.
I was sixteen and he was thirteen, and we agreed to keep it a secret, because I'd hook him up with cool shit and his older sister might literally kill him before dying of embarrassment. He agreed and even gave a smile that I thought was him being shitty, but he swore was just because he thought it was interesting.
We hung out a little as we got older but it was mostly me getting him things like a phone number or a bag. He ended up dating my hs sweetheart's younger sibling. That was never awkward but when I pressed him casually he promised not to say shit and I made him promise not do any stupid shit like I'd done. He was smart but awkward. Eager to please but a bit milquetoast as a result. Eventually they broke up and I had a couple drinks with him and found out part of the breakup was because he had really wanted a pet snake, and she didn't. I was the only person he'd told the real reason to. Why break up over a snake? And it wasn't like it was the straw that broke the camel's back, it was one of those things where shed made an ultimatum, he stood his ground, and then it spiraled downward about how he was never going anywhere and snakes just proved what a loser he was. I told him that if he was the best damn snakes person that someone somewhere would pay him big bucks to handle the snakes.
Seven years pass. I'm taking a group of students on a tour of my hometown's little science museum/zoo situation. The south doesn't care too much for endowing those things so any museum becomes a zoo pretty quickly. It's like the one physics nerd and the one bio nerd compromise to get an endowment passed. So I'm with these dumb tweens that are miserable because they don't have their phones. We go to the auditorium for a local creature exhibition, reptiles and bugs. And of course there is Gwinnifer's little brother, showing off the snakes and lizards and large insects. And he is having a blast, totally in his element. A great confident showman that makes the kids want to touch the animals but know that they can only do so in the exact way he tells them to, or else. And he sees me and smiles that smile.
I get two words with him after the show and we meet up later. Of course my students thought he was the coolest motherfucker on the planet and I was just a little bit cooler for being in his warm, glowing, warming glow.
And he is still basically himself. And we talk about how everything seems to be not just okay but actually good somehow despite returning to the hometown. And I ask him how he got the gig. He said that after I told him just to be a snake man if he wanted he spent a few hours drunk and online. Turns out you can actually make coin if you commit to all the good and bad of being a herpetologist. He started at the bottom and worked his way up quickly because he decided on something he wanted. He has a good job in the public sector and does occasional side work when an entertainer's ball python isn't being itself.
And he thanked me for eating out his sister, even though she didn't enjoy it. That that was the reason we are who we are. I didn't have the heart to say that she was on her period.
Hey, I'm trawling through the larger thread this comment is a part of and I'd like to thank you for sharing this story. It's great to see someone's passion being rewarded. I hope you're doing well too!
isa01000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:37 on September 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he thanked me for eating out his sister, even though she didn't enjoy it.
Thank you. If I had gold to give, I would give it, but thank you. I didn't know how much I needed this in my life until I got done reading it. You are a good person for sharing it.
Thank you for sharing this piece of your life into mine.
EDIT: Now I have gold and I can't give it to him... I'm a broke ass and can't buy him some... Sad day. Thank you kind and gentle stranger. You are also a good person.
I am just sharing stuff I found on Reddit. I take no credit for writing the comment or the question. The guy that wrote it got 74 months of gold for it so he still has a few years left from just that comment alone, not counting if he got gold from any other comment since then.
I know. But you found it important/interesting/inspirational enough to share it with all of us, and I happened to find it in the deep comments here. Because of that, I now have it. And yes, I saved that shit. Thank you again.
you are welcome. I did go back and reread this again myself because I hadn't read it in a while. It still hits me just like it did the first time I read it.
Yeah, without you the odds of finding this for relatively new redditors would have been slim. It's the first post I've ever saved aside from Factorio blueprints. Thanks Scotty.
jeffxt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:35:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have no idea how much I need a post like that right about now. I read the first sentence and hit save.
If another Redditor finds what you said awesome, they can buy gold (with real money), to award your post or comment. Each gold you receive lasts for a month, and they add up, you also get access to r/lounge for the amount of time that your earned gold months last.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:03:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Ryan, just read your post for the first time. Absolutely awesome. Thanks so much for taking the time to write it out. It's amazing how, three years later that post is still helping people! You are the coolest :)
ryans01 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:49:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That whole "non-zero day" thing really seems like the key to unlocking the universe. I'm gonna try to incorporate this concept into my life. I've had a lot of zero days. Hopefully I will have no more. Thank you, man. I saved your post to read again later. I should probably save it as a txt file or print it out or something in case reddit goes away.
edit: copied it into a Google document. We're saving money already!
ryans01 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:49:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! Saving money is hottt!
Sarkal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Ryan, you're the best!
There's some mistake I've made in my academic life (not too different from Max' problem) and I couldn't forgive and forget myself for that, but now I think I could maybe start to come to terms with myself. I'll be sure to think of your advice when I start studying in a couple of years. Thanks!
ryans01 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:50:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L248XT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I are having a conversation and she's been doubting herself for a while now. You may have just saved her. Thank you. Seriously, thank you for linking that.
Holy shit 74 golds. I read that several times and I'm astounded by this guy. What a helpful person, I will definitely do my best to use some of his advice is my own life. Thanks for posting this!
Wasn't until the start of last year that I began to be motivated enough to reduce my "zero days"
And it's only the last month I've managed to get them down to none whatsoever. I work hard every day now, and as long as I keep it up I don't feel too wrecked lol
I read it. I saved it. I put the wallpaper on that dudes post onto the front screen of my phone, I sent it to 5 friends, did ten push ups, and now I'm off to work. Thank you for that.
There are some great things on Reddit. Some things you just have to dig to find though. r/bestof is a great sub with user-submitted posts. /r/MuseumOfReddit is around but not sure how often it is updated. There are a lot of great posts from Reddit's history on that sub.
GFY_EH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on best of, but not Museum. I've seen some awesome stuff to, and I thought I saw most of it.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'd been meaning to buy 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' for a while and after reading that I immediately ordered it. What an inspiring post. I really needed to read that.
Thanks to you and the guy who posted and even the one who went on a rant. Been in a rut for months even though I have the best job I ever have had. Haven't been putting nearly enough into anything and I've been in a cycle of depression. Thanks for posting this. Extremely helpful!
H8rade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting this. It's the first thing I thought of, but with 10k responses to this thread, what's the point of me posting? I'm so glad to see it as the second highest comment! It's truly life-changing stuff.
i remember seeing this a while back. it's pretty worthless at face value. so you don't wanna have a zero day? do one push up. next day? do one push up. this will do nothing for you. the gist of it is nice, but you really have to push yourself past settling for a "one" day over a "zero" day.
depends what that something is. doing one push up per day would be just as good as not doing any. that's not how muscle growth works. in that case, something is equal to nothing.
Physically true, but psychologically the important thing is overcoming the resistance to doing anything at all. Thinking in terms of effectiveness won't help you if you can't summon up that basic motivation. Fortunately, getting in the habit of always doing something, even if it isn't effective, will break that resistance. And then you can move on to doing the effective thing.
If you try to go straight to the effective thing, your motivation will die on you and you'll be left high and dry, not to mention demotivated by your failure. Blindly trying to do the effective thing will be ineffective. You need to solve the underlying problem first.
If you are already a motivated and disciplined person, this advice is not aimed at you. I've said on numerous occasions that advice is mostly useless because it only works for people sufficiently similar to the advice giver, and human minds vary a great deal. That said, this particular piece of advice was aimed at exactly the right kind of person, which is why it got so much acclaim.
The purpose of that post was to motivate someone to begin to turn their life around. The point of a no zero day is that sometimes the hardest part is starting. If you do one pushup, you're likely to do more than that. But if you tell yourself you only have to do one, then anything else is you exceeding those expectations which feels good. It's possible that you've never had feelings of depression or self loathing holding you down. Count yourself lucky. Then listen to others and seek to understand rather than dismiss.
Thanks u/hazysummersky for bringing this thread to my attention with this post. The original is now 7 years old and the endlessyoutube links no longer work but "it is still one of the most magical on Reddit".
Velt_osu ยท 904 points ยท Posted at 23:13:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mashed this all together and put it into one video. Make sure to right click and click loop if you want to have it keep repeating at the end.
I agree completely, and I highly regret not putting the fireplace. I made this in about 10 minutes and wasn't really thinking much. I need to be more mindful in the future :(
how do you mash up 2 videos into one? For examples, if I wanted both of these videos mashed into one youtube link (so i can download it as an mp3 later) could you be able to do that for me?https://viewsync.net/watch?v=aDfZ6STAfqA&t=0&v=DLuu_rjT93w&t=0
You want to prove your comments? No need. This is the internet after all. Either someone believes everything or /r/thathappened. Either way proving your comment is in no way necessary.
I prefer A Soft Murmur which will loop for as long as you want and gives you a mixer of alternate sounds (I add thunder) but the addition of the jazz really does make it fantastic.
utan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O wow, I haven't heard this in awhile. I actually the 3 combined into one mp3 if anyone is interested. I grabbed it from a facepunch thread a long time ago.
I feel like you gave me a gift! I liked it so much I left it on and came back the comments. Only realized how relaxed I'd become when the jazz track ended, so I switched over to the one hour Godot, and now I'm getting off Reddit to read a book.
Fuck man that's crazy. I never imagined winning the lottery was like that.
NINJAM7 ยท 4633 points ยท Posted at 16:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor won 18 million. He was older, and his wife had died years previously. He was a very low key millionaire. He lived in a modest, unkempt house. The only thing I saw him buy was a new truck. He was lonely, and married a waitress at his favorite diner. Soon after she filed for divorce to get half of his money. He was tied up in courts for years. I moved not long after, so am not sure what the outcome was. I felt bad for the guy.
[deleted] ยท 968 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not familiar with US laws, but how would a pre-nup work in this case? Could he have protected most of his assets?
NINJAM7 ยท 1323 points ยท Posted at 16:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. He was older, and naive. He was lonely and thought she loved him. I'm not sure if the courts sided with him or not. Either way, it sucks to have someone you love divorce you for your money, and tie you up in court so you can't enjoy the money/time you have left.
Still can't believe how shitty the divorce laws are that you can marry and divorce in a short time and be entitled to any money at all, let alone half of it. Who's fucking idea was that?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:44:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why marriage is a big decision and you don't do it with someone you can't trust. And always always have a prenup if you have sizable assets.
Sure, given the way it works that's how you should act, but that doesn't mean it's not a dumb as fuck system. Why would marriage entitle someone to half of your wealth? It doesn't make any sense. The only argument I've ever heard is "they get used to a certain lifestyle" which is total bullshit.
Also, from what I've heard sometimes prenups can still be overruled in certain situations, so it's not even totally foolproof.
The certain lifestyle thing kills me.. Bitch, you're the one that's making yourself poor by doing what you're doing, and I'm the reason you have any money anyways.. It's like if I went into work tomorrow, drunk as fuck, and decided to tell everyone to fuck themselves and I'm done with their shit. Oh, and I want half my pay forever... (I actually love my job)
But, it'd be my fault for losing my money and shit for the next few years because my company is good to me and I just fucked them over... I can't sue the company for money just because I've decided I'm sick of them.
I understand if they're actually working and helping make the money, but if they're just sitting at home with a nanny getting high all day, fuck them.. fortunately for me, I can't stand women that have no drive, so I should be alright.
From what I have read (on the internet so take it however you would) alimony and half the house is to do with career sacrifice. Most wives become the mother and stay at home parent, so the assumption is that they gave up their learning and earning potential to do that and so they therefore deserve compensation for that.
As to how legit that is in some circumstances, idk, but that is how it was explained to me.
Ps. Do you have little pins and a tritip hat for those nipples? Is one a Captain and one a Lieutenant? Has there ever been a mutiny?
Dirus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How it should work (not sure if it does) is if they're working too you can have a joint account and of course that would get split, but if they're not and all the money is kept in the breadwinner's name, they should have the right to keep all of it.
I_Stink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its gets tricky as sometimes one partner takes a lower paying and less time consuming job so that they have time to take care of the family, house etc. It is cases like this where I think they both should have a 50/50 spit after the divorce of existing assets. That being said, the lower earning individual should not get alimony the rest of his/her life from the higher earning partner. They should have a 1-2 year grace period to get your feet under you with a new career and after that you are on your own. Sadly that is now how it works in most North American areas.
That makes sense, although I think a full investigation of circumstances should be done for each case. Things like potential earning for the lower-paid/not working partner had they continued in their career should be considered. If they were working as a waitress or something and switched to like, part-time work at a library or something they haven't really lost much, no need for them to be supported really. If they quit something actually promising there's more of a warrant for some money to exchange hands.
But if you have separate bank accounts surely that's pretty clear cut? And bigger purchases like cars or houses are bought in someone's name, aren't they? Smaller things are not really as much of an issue.
Prenups and wills don't always wok if the person using them fucks up along the way.
Source: my grandparents bought my mother a house that she left to me, her only child, in her will. She sold the house 5 days before she died and the money was deposited into a joint account with my step-dad. Think I saw a dime of that money? I still want to murder that (literal) mother fucker. He swindled and abused my mom while she was alive and stole some family money in her death.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how it works in the U.S. with prenups it might be different, however in Australia my boss (director of a family law firm) straight up refuses to do them for clients. He considers it unethical to even take money for them. Apparently they can basically be bulldozed through by any semi-competent lawyer, since a prenup is so ridged and a million things can happen during the actual marriage that aren't accounted for. So prenups aren't as solid as someone people are led to believe.
Well, it was a good idea from times where people would regularly give up their entire career going into a marriage, or when women just wouldnt have a career and getting married was (or, depending on where you live, still is) their only way of really supporting themselves.
Well the second answer is just them being completely unambitious and taking the easy route, so I don't think they deserve anything for that.
The first one is kind of a good point, but it's a fairly specific situation that varies on a case-to-case basis, and clearly more harm comes than good from this law in the modern day when you see all the people who's lives are ruined by divorce settlements. This type of law is so easily abused it's insane.
A century where women didn't work for moneys's idea, fucking outside marriage was less common, and being a divorced woman basically meant being an old maid, even if you were only 20.
Still doesn't really make sense to me. If women were oppressed enough to never work, why would the courts care about them after a divorce? Unless it was a law introduced by knee-jerk reaction to counteract this culture which has just never been changed since, which I guess would make sense, but doesn't make it less stupid.
EHendrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:50 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In many states its not, I am not sure about every where but in Georgia the spouse is only entitles to half of the marital assets. Basically what you both made together, not including inheritance. I am sure there are other states like this.
That's good, but even in longer marriages I don't know why it's assumed that all money made by both parties somehow belongs equally to both. The money each makes should be considered separate.
I understand the idea that a dependent partner might be disadvantaged if they haven't worked in a long time/ever and can't get a job following a split, but honestly that should just be part of the risk of marrying that way.
Removing these financial divvies isn't a perfect solution but it's certainly far less open to manipulation than the current system.
EHendrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:32 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The splits, which aren't as crazy as movies and TV makes it seem, I literally know of no woman who hasn't been screwed by marriage.
As for why it is assumed that all money made by both parties belongs to both is that's what you agree too when you get married.
Think of marriage like the forming of a corporation, unless there is some form of exit paperwork (Prenup) then you are essentially making one whole out of two. You in theory support your partner and they do the same for your, sometimes emotionally, sometimes financially, sometimes with labor, like keeping house and maintaining property. When you are married it should be equal between the parties because you should both be working towards common goals, not keeping score on what each person is contributing.
The system is not manipulated near as much as people think, and most of the time is is by the men screwing the women out of their fair share.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why marriage is a big decision and you don't do it with someone you can't trust. And always always have a prenup if you have sizable assets.
Rhamni ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must suck a lot. However, I have to say, in my own limited experience, at least you stop loving them pretty quickly when you realize they were conning you. I got engaged to the first girl I was in love with. It was foolish of us, but youth etc. Slowly, she fell out of love. I suspected it was happening, but tried to fix it. Eventually she broke it off. I was devastated. Really, really, 'my life is over' devastated. Again, youth. First love is so viciously real, for good and ill. But, a few months after, me still being devastated enough that it was ruining my grades for the semester (I was doing a Bachelor's degree), I was going through my account history because there was a charge I didn't know where it came from. That wasn't her. However, in going through the account history of one account I decided to go through my other account, the shared one I had had together with my ex-fiancee. And it turned out she had stopped paying into the shared account several months before breaking things off. This was the account we used to buy groceries, pay rent and other bills, etc. All in all she has failed to pay about $800 of her share for the time we lived together. As much as it sucked to realize she had stolen from me, it did at least make it much more manageable to let go of the image of her as my soulmate without whom I could never be happy.
ishboh ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd pay $800 to cure a bit of heartache, seems like a good deal as long as you aren't living paycheck to paycheck.
Might be the pessimist in me but I truly believe that if you have/won a significant amount of money (millions) before you found someone to spend your life, then it would be nearly impossible to find a true partner after the fact. Unless you hide your money well.
This is the primary downside I see to winning the lottery. Never truly knowing if someone loves you or your money. As a single guy, it's really kind of a terrifying thing to think about.
Not to be a pessimist. But when you're truly that lonely and broken, can anyone say for sure that they're truly in love? Or are we just grasping at straws at that point?
Depends on what state and their divorce laws at the time. Now many states follow a no-fault divorce with equitable distribution for assets where only marital property (money and goods obtained only after the marriage started) are on the table for distribution and spousal maintenance it calculated based on several factors which are meant to set the receiving party in the same position life style wise as they were in the marriage.
So if the lead a normal low key life and she was young and could work chances are she probably wouldn't have gotten a ton of money. But again it all depends on the system used for divorce in your state.
NINJAM7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Illinois about 20-25 years ago. I'm not sure about the laws back then. Hopefully it turned out OK for him. And if she did win, I bet she had shitty karma from that point on.
not a single day passes where I dont hear stuff like this, I understand growing up poor and never really making much money, but does that really mean you have to become a shitty person like that?
He probably could have, but its still culturally looked down upon to request a pre-nup unless both parties have high profile business/careers. Even still, a good lawyer could find a reason to void some or all of the pre-nup and he would have had to part from half his assets anyway.
Prenup agreements are widely declared void in court. There's a precedent of the wife declaring that the societal expectation for a woman to marry, when faced with a prenup as a condition of marrying, counting as agreement under duress and therefore making it invalid. They're not as useful as people think even though they should be.
tspun ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is highly dependent on which state the couple lives in.
It all is, also where I live if he didn't mix all the lotto money with her accounts then it's safe. Your partner isn't automatically entitled to half of everything you have just because you were married for 6 months here. (Unless you put their name on the account, let them switch their direct deposit to that account, etc) It all depends on where you live and your tolerance for paying for their lawyers and yours to duke it out. (Since if your partner doesn't work you typically have to pay for their lawyers and yours)
jpicazo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the argument runs something along the lines of the future marriage effectively being held hostage to obtain the pre-nuptial, and that if she were asked under different circumstances she might have refused, but given the social expectations around a bride to be, she didn't feel comfortable refusing to sign.
I am appalled that a judge would grant that. I have crippling social anxiety. Everything causes me duress. Want to call a friend to hang out? Brain: "They don't really like you. Remember that one time you did that stupid thing somewhat in their periphial 10 years ago? They hate you for that and laugh at you constantly. Better go to the casino and try to win enough money to live on a deserted island." Could I sue the casino and say they owe me all my losses back because I was gambling under duress?
It's important to consider the flip side of this: there are also situations where somebody might be compelled to behave against their own interests owing to strong social or cultural norms.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just trying to find a workaround to this in my head, but I've got no legal background so this might utterly fail.
What if you got proof (eg. a notarized document) that you stated your intent prior to engagement? The claim of duress would fall flat if you could demonstrate the other party was under no social expectation when they agreed to the terms.
I'm also not a lawyer, so I've no idea how well that would work, but I think a lot of it would come down to how good everybody's lawyers are.
Also, I'd be willing to bet that most pre-nups are signed after the engagement proposal - after all, who asks their future spouse to sign a pre-nup before even proposing to them, or being proposed to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure prenups are signed post-engagement, but as you said, once a couple is engaged, there is that societal pressure, which is where the angle of duress comes into play. That's why I was suggesting hypothetically arranging the terms pre-engagement, in order to dodge that argument.
I know I'd talk about prenups before getting engaged, but I don't think simply talking about it would hold up in court.
Pretty much this. It's impossible to disprove duress, which is enough for most civil courts to throw the agreement out. In addition, if the court finds it to favor one person in the marriage (usually the person with the money) they may throw it out anyway by calling it unfair.
Prenup agreements are notoriously worthless in many U.S states. Some are better than others.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 questions
1) Even if prenups are widely voided, does it make a stronger case for an individual to retain their assets if a prenup was made? Even if it's not perfect, I'd imagine it'd still help their case.
2) What is the argument for the spouse getting half the assets? I've heard it's on the basis of lifestyle, but if one lives a moderate life, that wouldn't hold.
basyin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:26:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak to how often prenups are voided, but the "spouse gets half" thing is actually based on when women couldn't really enter the work force and therefore they would have to choose to stay in awful marriages or be homeless. It continues to be upheld because often times in a relationship one person's career will take a backseat (or one person becomes a stay at home parent) so being able to divorce someone without paying anything doesn't make sense as a) the spouse earning more money would likely not have been able to have their careers be as successful without the extra home support. b) the spouse earning less money would likely have pursued their career more aggressively if they weren't in the marriage - just because the marital promises no longer hold doesn't mean that all the lost advancement due to an arrangement while married can be rectified.
However when both parties work it often becomes about how they built a life together and when splitting each gets half of "that life." Marriage isn't supposed to be about mine versus yours so when things are intermingled it can be easier to just go 50/50 - which often leaves one ex-partner bitter because I earned the money so why do they get anything etc. etc. etc. Again, if you really want to be able to claim that though, don't freaking get married and be aware if you live in a common law state. You know the deal going in, regardless of how your feelings for the other partner change over the course of the relationship.
When I've heard of "quality of life settlements" as opposed to "I gave up a lot of my career for you and now have permanently lowered earning potential" they typically aren't the same as lifelong alimony - frequently there are time caps like $x for 5-10 years so that is actually a completely different thing (of course depending on how good your lawyer is :/ )
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the problem is that the whole system of marriage operates around the best case scenario, which leaves it so lacking for when things do go sour (which they so often do). People tend to associate prenups with a lack of faith, but it's just an attempt at preparing for the worst case scenario, and you can hardly fault someone for that.
But reading through your comment, I'm struggling to work out a just system. You could try to operate as individuals, maining separate accounts and whatnot, but having kids wrecks that. I recall reading that some companies tried to enforce parental leave, but I don't know that this is a good solution either, and it'd probably hurt the couple more than it helps.
Maybe the issue isn't with alimony itself, just with its implementation. This isn't meant to be a solid model in any real sense, but what if a couple acted like individuals until having children, and then worked out the terms of alimony as they went from then on? It'd be a tough sell, but if we treat it as renegotiating the terms of insurance rather than planning for divorce, it seems to make sense to me. And it has the added bonus of letting people decide terms before animosity arises, and there'd be more documentation, which is always ideal. Again, a hard sell, but it seems like the most fair option.
I don't know. What do you think? How would you fix things, or do you think it needs fixing at all?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't the part of the question, but fair enough. I understand that it varies greatly from place to place though; supposedly they're much more rigidly held in Europe than the US, for instance.
Also, the type of person who gets pissy about not getting half your lottery money if you divorce isn't the type of person you should be marrying anyways.
I guess it's probably because people get it in their head that marriage is "forever." By proposing a pre-nup, some people might immediately think that you don't think it'll last, or that you're not entirely in it for the right reasons. Which is silly, because a pre-nup would guarantee that the other person is in it for the right reasons and not just for the money. People take it extremely personally, like it's an insult on their character and intentions.
I'd totally sign one if I had a chance to marry a rich woman. I'd never feel entitled to her money if we divorced, so I don't know why woman tend to be so vehemently insulted by a rich man proposing one. If you're truly in it for the love you feel for the person, a pre-nup shouldn't even be an issue for you. If you don't or can't prove that you're not in it for the money, then that's a massive red flag right off the bat and says a lot about you.
DOV3R ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pre-nup is like getting car insurance.
I sure hope I'm never in a car accident, ever. But just in case....
5redrb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still got to be awkward to bring it up. It's really acknowledging that marriage may be temporary to both sides. If you're the poor side, you have nothing to lose if you don't get divorced, If you're the rich side you have nothing to gain if you don't get divorced. A rich person wanting a prenup looks like they have no faith, a poor person not wanting one looks like they have no faith.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but statistically your marriage might end. It's smart to sign a prenup. Marriage is actually really fuckin stupid. You're basically signing up to lose thousands of dollars in a few years when you get a divorce.
If you sign a prenup though, marriage is really smart. You get all the tax breaks a married couple gets, but none of the risk of losing your house or whatever.
People have this idea that they're special, that their marriage will last. But, based on current trends 25-33% ( The reason why you hear 50% is that stat include second and third marriages which almost always end in a divorce) of marriages will end in divorce. Why risk it? Signing a prenup doesn't make marriage any less valid, it just makes it a lot less stupid of an option..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like having an emergency exit plan in a skyscraper is expecting a disaster to happen or wearing a seatbelt is because you expect to be in a crash.
True, but some will see a pre nup as setting the marriage up to fail from the start. People want to believe it won't turn out like that, so they don't get a pre nup.
My best friend from high school got engaged when he was 38 and said he was getting a prenup like it was no big deal and had already discussed it with his soon to be wife.After he got married I foolishly asked them, "So did you guys get the prenup after all?" And he said yes and then said never bring that up again near his wife. I guess it was not something she was in favor or proud of.
And the stupid thing is that if she's pissed about it, it's probably heavily skewed in his favor, which makes it less likely to hold up in court. So he might have very well pissed her off for no reason.
tspun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:10:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, depends on the state. In the state where I'm barred as long as both sides had independent representation (their own lawyer) pretty much any agreement that doesn't involve child support is fair game.
Edit: And as long as both parties fully disclose their assets. Don't try to hide anything of value.
Or somebody who believes that if you love somebody enough to marry them, then you love them more than your money.
I have nothing against pre nups, particularly if partners enter a relationship with great inequalities in personal wealth - but it ultimately says "I love you, but don't trust you"
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:14:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you and trust you, but if something were to happen that indicates I shouldn't have trusted you, then I don't want you to have my money"
Stealing this, locking it in the brain vault to regurgitate word for word when someone ever questions me as to why prenups are a necessary evil in today's world.
After seeing some of the shit my friends/family (male and female) have been through, I dunno how some of them didn't kill their exes. People are fucking crazy, and you wouldn't realize it until you see it first hand.
I feel bad for them, and have lost friends because I realized they were the crazy ones. I've cut ties with most of them because I don't need that drama in my life.
5redrb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's certainly not the most tactful tactful thing to say but everybody knows many marriages don't last. Once people get into adulthood a bit they probably both have assets they would like to protect.
Codile ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is stupid. That's like saying you don't trust your partner because you refuse to have unprotected sex until both get tested. Of course you trust your partner, but it's still important to be careful. Would be nice if people could accept some others don't have a rosy naive outlook on life.
My girlfriend has a lot more money than I ever could. I would sign a prenup in a heartbeat if and when we get married. No damper on our relationship.
NINJAM7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say so.
The only silver lining was that the ticket was bought at a liquor store near my house. I guess they get 1% of the winnings (so, $180,000) which they used to fix the place up.
TheHYPO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least where I practice law (not family law), you are not entitled to "half of the other spouses stuff". You are entitled to (in very basic terms) half of the INCREASE IN VALUE of the other spouse's stuff over the course of the marriage.
So if the guy had 18m to start with, and spent half a million bucks in the time they were married, she would not be owed a dime of that money. Now, if he invested the 18m and it grew to 20m, she could seek some of that 2m increase... not saying she would get it, but it's hardly the same thing as someone swooping in and seeking half his winnings in the divorce.
The real problem is spousal support payments - if she became "used to" a certain lifestyle his money provided, she could argue for high support payments - but one factor there is the length of the marriage. Not sure how long they were together since op says "soon after she filed for divorce." OP also says the guy didn't live an extravagant lifestyle, so that's a factor.
It's still a big mess of legal shit that is unfortunate to have to go through even if you do win in the end.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the in depth answer, so in theory the divorce laws without a pre-nup is better than in Norway, as the wife isn't entitled to the wealth he had before they got married. Only big difference being, people don't usually end up going to court over a divorce over here.
TheHYPO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you think about it, it makes no sense for this precise reason. If one spouse of moderate means marries a wealthy spouse, and it doesn't work out, why should the moderate spouse be entitled to half of everything the wealthy spouse has built over his or her lifetime? I mean, if the spouse is really that wealthy, and the marriage was legitimate enough to last a few years, imaginably, the wealthy spouse's holdings have grown even over the period... so his $10m company now being worth $13m, the moderate spouse still has a claim for a decent share.
by the way, the difference in income calculation is also moderated by difference in debt - so if the rich spouse has taken on tons of debt to finance the wealth, that gets considered too. There are plenty of more technical details, but that's the very general case (btw, this is Ontario Canada, not the US)
kashluk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:26:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe prenups are not that solid in most states. Especially when compared to most European countries, here prenups are airtight.
My state requires you to disclose your assets for the prenup to be valid. You only know that your prenup is valid when the judge decides that you truly disclosed all your assets accurately. How much is that family business really worth?
pjp2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't work. All she has to do is say "she signed it under duress" and it gets thrown out. Done. That simple.
Pre-nup are not iron proof. Also many states have different rules regarding a pre-nup. Basically you have to be super serious and have money because a prenup can cost a couple thousand dollars to exacute correctly.
A pre-nip would've definitely been ideal but a lot of people see it as a taboo since it's a song of you expecting to split up one day. It's easy for me to say this since I've never been married or won the lottery, it I can only imagine that would have gotten one to protect myself from something like this.
if he had the sense to arrange for one, but they're tricky in that people suspect you if you bring it up.
-The guy may not have divulged his wealth until after they married
-a prenup before a wedding is not a pleasant thing. In its purest form, it's saying "I don't trust you enough going into this marriage to anticipate a long and happy life together, I need insurance."
there are a lot of factors to consider with a prenup- they're usually best for independently wealthy, level-headed adults that aren't foolishly in love. Love is a great thing, don't get me wrong, but you're putting a lot of trust in a future that you can't predict!
This sort of outcome is why I like states with community property regimes. Instead of dividing everything at divorce, the law keeps track of which property is owned separately or in community. Community property is owned equally by the spouses, and it's made up of anything acquired during marriage (excluding gifts or inheritances made to only one person). At divorce, spouses keep their separate property and split community property.
Only 11 states have this system, but it's amazingly just. Totally prevents marriage for the purpose of stealing assets. Of course, there might still be claims of spousal support, but those claims arise more out of the richer party's income than out of their assets (my state also limits spousal support to no more than 1/3 your annual income).
I thought Louisiana had it's own whacked version, but then I guess that's just my default for thinking about Louisiana. I'm pretty sure their estate law is relatively unique.
Louisiana uses a civil code system, which is what every European country, except the UK, uses.
The civil code system started in France, but it quickly spread. The idea is to write all the laws out into a simple, self-contained book that anyone can reference. Caselaw is not binding, only statutes and customs are treated as law; in theory this is more fair because anyone can look up the law in the book quite easily. Cases and scholarly articles are mere persuasive authority for interpreting the book.
Louisiana fought tooth and nail for the right to keep French law after becoming a state; the US permitted us to use Spanish law, but not french, because Spanish law was in effect right before we became a state (since Spain had instituted it and Napoleanic had not repealed it before selling the territory). Lacking any Spanish texts, we modelled our law off of the french civil code rough draft and altered it where we knew Spain had different rules (both had similar legal traditions, so differences were minor). We've since updated the law in several major overhauls to keep the code modern.
Common law, which the rest of the US and the UK and a few former UK colonies use, takes a more reactive system where most of the law develops in the court room. Cases are binding law, and the law is fleshed out piecemeal; ideally this creates a fair system that gives each case fair consideration. The downside is that the law becomes difficult to keep track of without regular attempts to consolidate the law into casebooks.
The U.S. toyed with the idea of adopting a civil code system in every state since the common law became difficult to keep track of, but ultimately the idea was precluded by publications of works which condensed common law rules into easier to study formats. A few western states have adopted "civil codes," but only Louisiana has made an effort to use the civil code legal system the way it was meant to be used.
Both systems have become hybridized by today. Louisiana relies more on caselaw than a civil law jurisdiction should. Common law jurisdiction now have tons of legislation that alters old caselaw. Some consider places like Quebec and Louisiana to be hybrid jurisdictions (as opposed to common law or civil law jurisdictions).
It's not universal; every state is in charge of its own marriage laws. Indeed, one of the reasons that the Obergefell and Loving cases were such a big deal was because several states saw the decisions as interference with their traditional right to define marriage within their borders. Along with defining marriage, the states define all of the consequences of marriage, including divorce.
With respect to marital property at divorce, states which do not use the community property approach will instead allow property acquired during the marriage to be owned solely by the person who acquires it. This can leave a nonworking spouse with essentially nothing at the end of a marriage, and it can be difficult for someone to find work if they have a large gap in their resume or if they put off their own education to start a family while relying on their spouse's income. To solve this inequity, the courts have come up with various ways to redistribute the spouses' property. Sometimes this is done through an equal division of each party's total assets, sometimes it is done according to arbitrary "equity" concerns; but even the property acquired prior to marriage is not always safe from court seizure. within each state a person can probably look up the most commonly used methods and expect a court to apply one of those, but the gamble involved with common law divorce makes a prenuptial agreement fairly attractive as such an agreement allows the spouses to decide ahead of time how they will split property at divorce.
So in USA, the states that keep properties separate actually damages the wealthier spouse whereas the states that keep properties together protects the wealthier spouse.
That's so unusual, I would've guessed the opposite was true.
I guess when you don't have well-defined property division guidelines, the wealthier spouse would be in a lot of danger.
Wow, pre-marital property could be divided, and alimony on top of that... I totally understand when men don't want to get married.
Supposedly the states that had community property regimes would use that as a selling point to attract women (especially wealthy women) to move out west. During the gold Rush and initial western expansion, there was a big gender disparity that put pressure on the states' to encourage immigration.
That a woman would be entitled to own half of what a gold-mining spouse might find and would have equal management rights in that property was an enticing prospect for women used to the common law. On top of that, the women would be assured of at least some property at divorce: their own premarital property plus half whatever the literal gold-mining spouse might find in the hills during the marriage.
Because the common law would divide things only at divorce, the wives of working men would not have access to the wealth of their husbands. Community property gives both spouses equal ownership in marital property as it is accrued, and with equal ownership came roughly equal management power (though not quite as equal as modern iterations of the law).
Also, the community property regime's treatment of separate property at divorce assured wealthy women that they would be able to keep their separate property if they divorced, so they didn't have to risk their fortunes by marrying someone.
In combination: "instead of your husband owning and controlling the family income and instead of risking your preexisting wealth in a common law marriage, you can move out west where your separate property is guaranteed to remain your own and any family income is considered half yours from the start." This message was spread to induce wealthier people to move out west and start families and businesses to sustain the new states.
Edit: I should add that while a poorer woman might prefer the divorce rules of the common law states, the management power she (or any woman) could enjoy during the marriage was far greater in the community property system. Also, an independently wealthy woman was not likely to actually gain a lot in a common law divorce since she'd already have some independant means of support; she would, however, be risking the division of her own preexisting property.
Edit 2: I suppose the fact that community property regime divorces were also fairer to men might induce more men to marry without fear of being swindled, but I don't know that this narrative was pushed by the states during the immigration adverts.
After reading all of this I can safely say that the human race is a nightmare. The only thing we should be afraid of is each other.
Jesus Christ.
jpicazo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a shame lonely people get scammed all the time. Read the stories about older men and women paying people they've never met online to pay for their groceries and stuff in hopes that they'll someday move in.
A big issue is self-esteem, I bet this guy could've gotten married to someone who legitimately loved him but as OP said he was very lonely and maybe jumped at the first person who he went out with post-lotto winnings thinking he wouldn't find anyone else who loved him.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NINJAM7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:16:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this was over 20 years ago, and the guy was in his 60s or 70s. Plus he was a simple person that didn't know the world very well. He had been widowed for over 10 years and just wanted companionship.
It's honestly sad that he got taken advantage of like that.
Not to say that he wasn't a little bit at fault, but just a bad situation all around.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about fault. He was responsible for protecting his assets, and failed in that regard, but that doesn't make him at fault for her shitty actions.
I don't know about you, but I've never known of men getting into superficial marriages so they can file divorce to get 50%. It always seems like it's woman who are the soul suckers.
Honestly I see nothing wrong or unromantic about a prenup covering assets you enter a marriage with. It should also cover inheritances. If I know I'm going to inherit $500k or something when Nana dies (I have no rich Nanas), that money is mine and no one else's. I am free to share it with my partner but they aren't entitled to it.
People get too hung up on money. Here, prenup. Clean slate. Everything from here on now is a partnership and we share. Everything behind us is our own no matter what.
Basically, if you had nothing to do with the money, it ain't yours.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Maybe once kids come into the picture things could change, or if your money is tied up. Can be messy to sort out who gets what, but that's what lawyers are for. Prenups would make things easier.
Yep. I don't get why people are so scared of them. It makes things so much easier. It removes emotion from the equation and allows everyone to know where they stand.
What we build while we're married is shared. Debt and assets remain the property of the ones who had them entering into things.
If my partner had a lot of debt when entering the marriage.... we'd have to take a cold hard look at things. If I married someone I would support them 100%, but I'm not foolish. If the debt were due to medical expenses or unforeseen catastrophe, I'd be more than happy to help. Spend-thrift nature? I probably wouldn't marry them without some serious contracts in place and a cavity-search-level auditing. Our accounts would be kept separate, money for expenses would be placed in a joint account that those expenses would be drawn from, and a plan to get on track would be drawn up with the expectation that it would be followed.
Money is one of the top reasons people divorce. Romance has its place but marriage is also a joining of finances. People need to look at that angle logically.
...It's all moot though because I'm an asexual introvert. :/ I'm allergic to cats too. I'll probably die alone.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother didn't graduate high school and married a rich lawyer. I'm not sure if they got a prenups, but he's living large now. I on the other hand have a PhD and a crap ton of student debt. Funny how life works out.
You'll be fine. If you want love you need to put yourself out there and take some risks. Relationships take a lot of work on both ends, but in the end it comes down to chemistry and responsibility. My GF is allergic to cats and we have 3 of them... She just takes a lot of meds and we try to clean up as much hair as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said he married a mattress and he mattress wanted half his money. I was very confused.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are times I would have married my bed. Not too far fetched
Luhardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It probably would be a little different but your beige family members would hit you up and anyone you ever talked to. Luckily I'm a dick and would tell anyone that wasn't a day one friend to hit the bricks
Someone I went to Highschool with (or their family) won the lottery. Got it all up front, bought a house, invested the rest/put it in the bank. Haven't had an issue yet last I heard.
Edit: it wasn't much compared to other comments. 8 million
I guess I just mean that considering I live paycheck to paycheck I've never really considered how complicated having so much money could be? Because to me, winning 700 million (or whatever) just seems like having that exact number in my checking account you know? I never even considered that it could be a burden.
Your comment prompted me to finally respond to this because someone said something exactly like that once. If you check through my comment history you don't have to go back very far to see that I am going through a hard time.
Do some research further and you'll see that I was once a business owner, and even a very moderately successful one in a rural area. The one thing I taught myself is that money is absolutely not a single number in your checking account. Even living hand to mouth, as I am now, it is very bad to think of it or manage it that way. Saving, investing, those are the most important ways to get out from living in poverty.
But it didn't save me. I saved all money, ran a successful business, and it took me 5 years to have $250,000 earned up through wise (and a bit more riskier than normal) investments and savings making salaries less than $40,000 a year (usually a lot less). Never married, cost of living is low where I come from, really frugal are all major factors in making that work.
I have like 10 bucks and an overdrawn credit card now and am basically homeless. How? Well it's a long ass story, but not too different from the lottery stories. My abusive schizophrenic mom showed up years ago and my family abandoned her so I became her caretaker and that bled through all of that. Actually more than that because I tallied up around $280,000 in medical and legal expenses until I finally got her on disability and into assisted living care after years of fighting for it.
With all of my nest egg burned through I then had to close my business due to the crappy regional economy kneecapped by globalization, the major recession, and other factors. I then worked remote jobs supporting my then ex-fiancee only for her to be emotionally and eventually physically unavailable and supportive as I attempted to go to school to change career paths. Then I fell into a situation taking care of college kids, and after some school drama where I was at the end of nasty untrue rumors I lost my apartment and am now basically homeless with the school doing absolutely nothing to help me.
In between all of that, while I ran my business (and as somewhat of a running theme even after that and into my college experience as an adult student) droves of people came out of the wood work for me to help them, save them, do things for them which I gladly did for ages thinking that it made me a good person.
And now that I don't have anything to give, and I have been totally used up, no one calls. A few people (ironically one of which is the ex-fiancee) have sent me a few dollars here or there to buy bread or a hot meal. I can actually only talk to you now because someone is paying the cell bill to stay on my premium business data plan.
But really, I have been almost totally abandoned in everyway. I don't even have someone I can physically talk to for emotionally comfort really. And this especially hurts because I grew very attached to the people I met at the college because they didn't know me from being a successful business owner and I thought they were different, but no, it was just that I was being emotionally used up instead of monetarily, especially by the girl I met there who lied to me utterly and started many of the rumors about me.
Reading all of those lottery stories hit home for me because I lived it through relative success compaired to the proverty of my hometown. If I were to win a jackpot now, I would tell no one, discreetly pay back people who have helped me now exactly what they have donated to me, follow the investing advice in the post and hold up in a clean apartment within walking distance of essentials for a while and probably just cry in relief for a while until I am ready to trust someone again.
Can confirm. One of my oldest friends won the lottery in the UK (it was millions he won). It brought him misery, a divorce, a breakdown, alcoholism and of course all the money went long ago. He has trust issues now because of all the new "friends" and missing relatives that popped up looking for handouts.
If you saw him now you would think he was a hobo. Very sad.
Just depends on who you are. The type of people to frequently buy lottery tickets tend not to be the best at managing money and his story is just one anecdote. The others he lists are more typical cases but he doesn't go into details. This is far from direct cause and effect.
Yeah. I think a lot of what happened was due to the Grand daughter. She didn't exactly hang around a great crowd, then the money hit.
All the articles I've seen satirize the small WV town. Well it's not really that small. The specific town he lived was unincorporated, but is in one of the top 5 affluent counties in the state. She went to a AAA high school that had multiple state championship titles. The cheapest house in our neighborhood is around $220k and goes up to around $500k.
fatnino ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 20:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. A 3 bed 1 bath one story "fixer upper" (read: no one is looking at the structure because it's being torn down the day the place sells) goes for 2 million on my street
fuuuck... i'm never moving again.. i'm on 60 acres in a rural area with no neighbors and was my wife's grandparents' place.. i shudder to think of ever having a mortgage again.
Yeah at first I was thinking there was no way he could be living in a wealthy neighborhood with houses around $500,000 in CA, but then I realized he probably was living in an area where houses are affordable.
Man, location differences blow my mind. Suburb of Cleveland here, 500k will get you a very nice house in a great neighborhood. I want to check out Cali so bad, but prices like that just make it borderline impossible to do so unless I'm willing to immediately commit longtime.
Real estate in CA is insane. I've been wanting to move out there for a couple years just to try it but the cost of living is terrifying. I mean seriously, where I am I can rent a decent apartment or share a house with some roommates for around $300-400. Even if I can get paid triple living in CA it won't make up the difference.
I'm in the Sacramento area. I haven't looked at prices in years but it's certainly better than Bay Area or SoCal. I'm able to live alone and have a big ass place in a really affluent area.
My take (as someone that lives in Los Angeles and not in NY) is that you don't need a car so that saves some money and you have a ton of restaurants and stores (bodegas) within enough walking range that again you don't need a vehicle. Same with bars which means no need to drive (aka saving you from a DUI) and no need to take an Uber.
Just the car is $300 a month in savings not counting gas (for me thats an extra $100 per month) plus insurance (which is abnormally high at $160 because of a certain stupidity) so that means in my part I would be saving $560 per month.
That's a step that the big post doesn't really mention iirc. Move to someplace like the hamptons or Beverly Hills where your jackpot still puts you nowhere near being the richest in the area. Perfect blending in.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:53:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Current median home price according to zillos is $154,500. It's not the nicest neighborhood around but not the slums. $500k will go pretty far here considering the average household income is $39,170.
$160k in NE Huntsville, AL will get you 1700sqft, 3 bed, 2 ba.
Only benefit to living in AL? Living in a metro, progressive city (Bham definitely, Huntsville almost) in the state shields you from most of the crap here.
My thought exactly. If I won the lottery, I would probably move to some place where I'd have a lot of wealthy neighbors and I could blend in. But, there's no guarantee that people from your home town wouldn't follow.
If I win the big bucks, after following the advice in the linked post and making sure my money is socked away in various accounts and institutions, the first thing I'd do is to disappear as much as possible. Like a fortress on a private island. Or an underground bunker. Anything to secure my body, my identity, and my location.
I kinda blame the guy for this, to be honest. What sane person would think they could stick around in the same town and life would go on as normal?
It may be a swell town but the harassment from the police force is one indication of how the town played a part. They saw easy fines to add to their budget and jumped at it.
If you notice, we are unincorporated and don't have a local pd. There are several Incorporated towns near by and the deputy sheriffs have jurisdiction here. I don't know the circumstances behind the harrassment but I'm sure it was at least partially deserved.
Not really, unfortunately. I graduated several years ahead of when brandi would have but had several friends in her clique. At one point she was paying a kids with his license as a chauffeur to take her to school and around town. The strip club stuff is totally true. It was called the pink pony and is now a BBQ place called barnyard bbq.
"Sure, I'll sell you my building. But I'm going to make you the same deal I made the last guy: The name of your establishment must contain alliteration. No exceptions."
Can confirm everything this guy is saying. Grew up in WV, worked at the racetrack/casino up the road from the Pink Pony at the time Whittaker hit the jackpot. He'd come in several times a week, hangout in the high roller room, and feed $20's into a slot machine for hours on end.
How were people able to allegedly drain his bank account? I've seen stories about that and it always baffled me. Like the first time a big amount of money went missing isn't it just common sense to get another account?
Well he was robbed several times that the public knows about. They took cash money. I'm sure there was other monies taken that was reported. He gambled away a ton of it and a lot was used for legal defense and hush money.
Yeah, I remember he allegedly got robbed of over $100,000 at a strip club once. I saw a recent follow-up article were he was claiming to be bankrupt. I just didn't understand his claims of being robbed via wire transfer on numerous occasions.
I don't know how that wasn't already saved for me. I've read it, all of it, a couple times. It's kept me up at night. What would I do with a stupid amount of money? How much do I really need for the rest of my life? Would I still want to work? If I don't work, what would I do with my days? It's a very good post but it will leave you haunted for a while after finishing it.
For real, I sure as hell wouldn't work, unless I moved to a island / beach town and opened up a surf shop or tiki bar. I'd do everything OP said to do to make sure I'm safe and secure, but no one who knows me right now would ever see me again (except immediate family). I'd change my name and peace out to live lowkey on a beach somewhere until I die in the sand.
Same for me, I've probably read it through five times by now. Partly because it's very interesting to me, but also because it's so incredibly well written, and such a good story! Everytime I read it I think how stupid it is that winners of huge jackpots have to be made public. I can't think of any reason for that, apart from PR value for the lottery companies, but that's probably exactly why they've lobbied for it to be law (ninja edit: Which I'm guessing they have).
Watty13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:29 on August 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has their multi millons plan dude
Id restore old buildings in my nation. Turn them into businesses and invest/finance small independent stores in my local area. As well as buy 20 flats for the rent money every month and love off that mind you I dont need alot. Id also own a bar because why not
I don't see how money won't make me happier. All I want from life is to live a simple life. Live somwhere in the countryside working on my hobbies and own an RV that I can take out a few months per year and go hike on mountains. I was able to live pretty close to this for a year and it was the happiest year of my life. It has become my only goal in life. I've been working for years 80+ hours every week just to gain egnough financial freedom to live like that. So far the goal is nowhere in sight and at this point I'm not even sure it is attainable before retirement, but that' s the point, some people don't need expensive houses or cars to be happy. Just the free time money can offer you to enjoy life. If you listen to most multimillionaires, most of them say they enjoy the free time money can offer you, not the houses or cars
Yeah, if I had $30m I would probably give at the very least 20m to charities anonymously. I'd be too conscious of how bad some parts of the world are getting not to.
That's not very smart though. If you really wanted to help you could invest that 20 million and have all the annual interest be paid to charity. You get to donate AND still have the 20 million.
Well, by 30 million I meant more along the lines of 30 million left over after I had already invested a chunk of money, but you are right. That would be a smarter way to do things.
When he started listing off examples of what happened to people who won the lottery it reminded me of when Edna was listing off the Supers that died due to their capes to Bob in The Incredibles.
Dwight- ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:01:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO CAPES!
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:20:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This may be the best financial advice for when you accidentally gain a large amount of money.
I'd say that lottery winners are disproportionately often people with a high risk of compulsive gambling and all the comorbid issues that are associated with it.
Substance misuse has a clear relationship with PG. The National Opinion Research Center study found that the rate of alcohol or drug abuse was nearly 7 times higher in persons with PG than in nongamblers or in recreational gamblers.
Affective Disorders
[...]higher rates of mood disorders in pathological gamblers than in non-gamblers (33.3% vs 14.2%, respectively). Rates of major depression were also higher among pathological gamblers in the sample reported by Cunningham-Williams and coworkers.9 These investigators also found that recreational gamblers are at greater risk for major depression and dysthymia than are those who have never gambled.
Anxiety disorders
If we look again at our general population surveys, we find a strong association between PG and anxiety disorders. For example, Kessler and colleagues24 found that 60.3% of those in their sample had any anxiety disorder: 52.2% had phobias, 21.9% had panic disorder, 16.6% had generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and 14.8% had posttraumatic stress disorder.
Impulse control disorders
Black and Moyer15 found high rates of compulsive buying (23%), compulsive sexual behavior (17%), and intermittent explosive disorder (13%) in their sample. Grant and Kim40 showed lower rates of these behaviors in a larger sample: compulsive sexual behavior (9%), compulsive buying (8%), and intermittent explosive disorder (2%).
Individuals with one ICD, such as PG, appear more likely to have a second ICD.41-43
Personality disorders
In a general population survey,23 a robust association was found between PG and all the PDs studied. The odds of having any PD if one also has PG were 8.3 times greater than for the general population .
So: Yeah, people who win the lottery can end up bad, but that could be hugely influenced the sort of people who buy the most lottery tickets.
Hrax535 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume that in the US you can't just stay anonymous when you win the lotto?
Here in the UK you can remain anonymous so if me and my wife ever won we wouldn't tell anyone the extent of our win. Obviously we would tell family and friends that we had won some money but they would never know just how much.
Even my kids wouldn't find out until they got their inheritance.
It varies state to state, like many things. I think someone mentioned Maryland as allowing you to claim anonymously. TN, where I live, you can't, though I don't know if you can claim through a trust. I think West Virginia you can't.
I'd dress up, wear a rag on my head, fake tan and beard and sun glasses, and talk like 'Macho Man' Randy Savage for the picture and interview. Then after, I'd legally change my name and move away from where I am, never to return. Partly because I only have Comcast as an ISP, and I'll be damned if I stay with them if I can move elsewhere. I don't know if you can legally change your SSN, but I'd do that too if I can. I may ruin my credit and everything else, but I would literally disappear for good. Pay off my CC, and cancel it.
I'll also abandon my truck (literally, just park it on the side of the road and never return for it) and buy another vehicle to replace it. Cash only and it'll be registered under my new name. Any home or vehicle would be low key, Dodge Diplomat type stuff. No one with money would drive one. Even poor people wouldn't be caught dead in one. House would be small, so that no one would guess I was rich from it.
The only piece of furniture I'd keep is one bookcase my dad made for me, I'd even abandon my home and most furniture. Just take things I can't replace, like my pets, my computer (which will be replaced with a newer gaming rig anyway) and a few rare books I own.
Helps that I'm single, have very little interest in dating, and have no discernible personality so no one even remembers me after I'm gone.
I'd dress up, wear a rag on my head, fake tan and beard and sun glasses, and talk like 'Macho Man' Randy Savage for the picture and interview.
I believe in some states you can have your lawyer claim the winnings and the name would be under a trust. But that's just something I read. Other than that, your post sounds exactly like my lottery plan.
Hello TN! I'm TN here, too! You can have it accepted by a trust, fortunately. However, if I ever see Randy Savage accept a lotto win, I'll know who it was!
I hate states that tell you that you HAVE to give your name and be in the news when you win. Like hey fuckface, I don't want to be in the fucking news.
Exactly, there should be a privacy option of some sort that keeps your face out of the paper, but lets the state show it's an actually living person that won the money
Well in the article it's showing that being publicly shown can lead to some serious consequences. People constantly asking for money. Kidnapping. MURDER. Yea I'd like millions of dollars but don't want the whole fucking world to know!
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:13:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we might have actually skipped over that step on our way to where we are.
The specifics (e.g. which financial instruments to put your money in) may be for the US, but the general idea is the same: if you suddenly come into a lot of money, people will try to take it from you and you are likely to destroy yourself.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:27:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're already anti-social and hate people and plan to live like a super rich Scrooge? I've already begun the ground work for that. Just need the super rich part to come and I'll be set.
As far as I'm concerned, if I won the lottery I would buy a huge plot of land in canada, then live there for the rest of my life. I wouldn't need for anything and if I want it I'll make it.
Like the post said, you will be robbed, falsely accused of literally anything, murdered, one of your family members or friends may be kidnapped, everything is wayyyyy more likely when you are rich
I didn't even say they would do that though, if your family would actually murder for money they are f ed up, trying to get money out of you is different then murder
I know but leaving everyone to go live in canada sort of implies that I'm cutting ties. That's what was intended anyway. I wouldn't give any money to my family anyway. Buncha dickheads.
Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He is the best dad I could ever ask for. But my mother can eat shit. My sister is too flaky and never responds to any of my attempts to talk to her. Outside of my immediate family they're alright, but never seeing them again would make no difference in my life.
How do CEOs, celebrities, and other multi-millionaires avoid this?
Goluxas ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:08:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mainly because of perception, and the speed that they accumulated their wealth. A poor person that wins the lottery is gonna have a lot of jealous friends. They'll feel like he's just lucky, he didn't earn the money, etc.
Somebody who goes from VP to CEO just got a pay raise.
It's one move after another, and the money gets better each time. Start at Product Manager - move up to Principal Product Manager, then Group Product Manager, then Director of Product. followed by VP of Product, and an EVP role, followed by a CXO role.
If you play your cards right and aren't averse to hopping from company to company, you can leverage each of those jumps to be 40-50%+ increases in pay, plus options, roughly every 2-3 years.
Source: Current group product manager. Pay Raise for the role was 47%. Pay Raise from PM to Principal PM was 35%. Next role will likely be another GPM role with a 20% bump, then a move to Director-level role.
What was your education & experience when you first got into your product manager role? Also, if you don't mind me asking..what product? The positions I've been coming across say "entry level" but require 5 years experience!
Bachelor's degrees in Comp. Sci and Economics. I was a year out of school before landing my first PM role, but I had work experience in software while I was in school and during a bit of time that I had dropped out due to family reasons.
My First product was Business intelligence at a startup. We got acquired for $1 billion+. I stayed on as a principle PM until last year when I made the move to Group PM at another startup. Plan is to be here for 2 years and move on.
Thanks for the reply and info! That's awesome man. Where are all these startups located? I feel like I will have to move to pursue the field. (In Kansas City)
The rest of the world will do its best to prevent you from achieving that goal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bah-humbug.
atyon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The idea to publicly announce lottery winners seems so stupid to me. Why announce the name and location of people with large amounts of money, who don't know how to deal with that situation and had no time to protect themselves?
Also, I think it's very funny that him winning a 315+ million dollar jackpot means he gets 170 million, and 115 million after taxes. But I do think that it is ridiculous that we don't tax lottery winnings where I'm from.
The specifics (e.g. which financial instruments to put your money in) may be for the US, but the general idea is the same: if you suddenly come into a lot of money, people will try to take it from you and you are likely to destroy yourself.
atyon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:10:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In many countries you can keep it secret that you've won the lottery. Where I'm from, the lottery agencies even strongly advise you to. Payout takes a while to allow you to adjust to your new wealth, and if your win is very high, the agency will recommend a trustworthy financial advisor.
Crazy how juries will favor anyone who has a claim against a lottery winner. "Our son died because this guy gave him too much money, so we think now he should have to give us more money as compensation!" That's just straight up ridiculous right there.
Culveys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps at least part of it is that the juries feel that they are in a similar position to the plaintiff. The level thinking that motivates someone to sue for frivolous circumstances just because the defendant is loaded is probably the one that rewards those making the accusations.
meh! there's an easy fix to most these problems of winning the lottery... Win the lottery in Canada!! no tax on the winnings (only on profit you make from the winnings, so basically interests), crime rate still lower than most american cities, no lawsuits. Also, having a great familly helps a lot. My parents don't need money, they are already swimming in it from their retirement (I think they actually do more than when they are working...).
But I would still get my personal attorney and what not to protect myself a bit.
How do incredibly wealthy people avoid all the attempted robbery, kidnappings, and murder? I feel like I gotta beef up security first but then my security guard will try to steal from Me!
I feel the homicide and kidnapping are more connected with how they fucking announce you as the winner rather then anonymously which is how it should be imo.
Agreed, I don't know why announcing the person's name publicly and plastering their face all over the news is even allowed. It's downright dangerous.
eukel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:19:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why the poster recommends taking the lump sum if it's so unlucky/difficult to survive winning a jackpot. Why not make it easy on yourself and choose the annuity?
Couldn't they stop paying you at one point and you'd be shit outta luck? Plus I heard some investors recommend it because it's easier to beat inflation by investing it instead of getting that check.
Sebilis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:47:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The general idea is that you'll get the problems either way. You will also get more bang for your buck if you take the lump sum because you can start investing and making a safety net sooner.
eukel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many of the problems would go away if you took the annuity. If you can't access your cash all at once then you can't blow it all on yourself or others. If someone pressures you for financial aid you say sorry it's all locked up.
Yeah, that's what I don't get either. All those people that went bankrupt in a decade or so.... if they took the payments, they would still be getting an income.
I get that the lump sum makes sense financially, but shit, you've already got more money than you'll ever realistically need, who cares about a 2% difference if there's a large chance you'll end up bankrupt, murdered, etc?
'Sorry, solicitors, I can't loan you a million bucks, I'm on a budget here.'
Most of the problems would go away if you moved away, and invested it safely to for that net to begin with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you just say you took annuity even if you took the lump sum?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That's messed up.
box-art ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'd never tell anyone that I won. This is why I'd continue working some weak ass job (with low hours so I have time plenty of time to do things I actually want to do), this is why I'd buy nice things like a TV, a car (I'd fucking finance the car to make it look like I can barely afford it) and assloads of clothing. And if anyone asks, I'm broke as shit and I'm barely making ends meet.
Goluxas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:01:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the followup posters mentioned that some areas require you to make a public appearance when you collect the money, and release your name to the press.
So uh, hopefully your friends are cord-cutters.
box-art ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:05:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Finland, we have these things called Veikkaus cards. The money would automatically be transferred to my bank account without me ever having to do anything because I used my Veikkaus card to register the transaction. So while you might be screwed in the US, not so much in Finland. I do believe Veikkaus would invite me over for a cup of joe but I'd just simply decline it and move on. The press would however report where the winning ticket was played so I'd just simply have to quietly move a few months after winning to avoid suspicion.
Not to say there is any bad advice in that post, but people who play the lottery are a particular set of people usually low income. Low income individuals usually don't have a lot of education, so when they win, they utilize the money very poorly. So the likelihood of lottery winners using their money poorly isn't because of the lottery per se, but the kind of players it attracts.
Yeah, but the main guy he talks about in that post already had 15 million dollars BEFORE he won the lottery. He said problems started when everyone suddenly knew how rich he was and accosted him everywhere he went. It happens to a lot of pro sports players too, suddenly everyone they ever knew try to make them feel awful unless they give them a lot of money for something or another.
I do love this comment as well, but I'm just a bit curious as to the legitimacy of some of the claims made in it. Personally, I have never been able to find a source for the stats in it, but if anyone else can link me to some sources, please do!
If you are really paranoid, you might consider picking another G7 or otherwise mainstream country other than the U.S. according to where you want to live if the United States dissolves into anarchy or Britney Spears is elected to the United States Senate.
Oh ho... oh, /u/BlakeClass, you weren't too far off...
Fuck that you know what I would do if I won the lottery? I'd build a hospital on a tropical island somewhere with a state of the art cardiology wing.
Not for charity but so they could replace my heart when it gives out from all the hookers and blow.
_Fish_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do anyone know what happened to the last year 1.5 billion dollar winners? They brought their whole family on tv before even cashing out on their winning.
They completely did the opposite of what they should have. And the dad was literally just walking he streets with a $1 billion ticket in his pocket....and telling everyone that he's doing it!!
Hopefully this doesn't get buried, but it is not mentioned in the link. If you get a big windfall, 20million+ after taxes, in addition to following the advice above, you need to get a family manager. This is something to do through the expensive lawyer you hired. He or she will help you create what is called a "family office."
If you are very wealthy, it is important that you allow your family manager/office to basically do everything for you that involves money, particularly gifts. If you want to buy a car - tell your family office, they will do it for you. You have no idea what kind of liability you open yourself up to by parking your own car. It's worth the extra thousand bucks to have your lawyer and family manager go over the ground rules of how to shop for your own groceries. Movie tickets may cost $2000/person with your call to the office - arranged transportation, sending a guy to get cash, etc - but it might save your nest egg.
The world becomes a much more litigious place when you have money. It takes a professional expert to avoid most of the risk. You will almost certainly get sued no matter how careful you are. And you will almost certainly settle or even lose a case or two for many thousands of dollars.
Finally, all of this advice is for lottery winners/heirs who were not already rich. If you couldn't earn that 100 million on your own, it is absurd to expect yourself to suddenly become good enough at finance to earn more than your current paycheck or the interest rate on a Treasury bond. Don't fall victim to survivorship bias - if you sucked with money the day you bought that ticket, you still suck with money.
Also, if your uncle really is a partner in a top 50 firm or major boutique operation that does high end consumer law, then you can totally trust him to help you. In fact, real super rich people do not tend to go to top 50 firms, they almost always use trusted contacts and smaller firms tailored to their needs. However, they are already rich and know how to find this stuff.
Finally, the above link talks a lot about trust funds. Trusts are great, but money in a trust is not yours anymore, it belongs to the Trust. If a Trust or the Trustee (a bank/family office employee who manages the trust) is sued, they can use the assets in the trust to defend themselves - even against you.
I wonder why Whittaker didn't donate like 2% to the local police for new equipment & resources given his.... proclivities?
esmifra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's a valid reason for offshore accounts if i ever read one. Use an offshore to by a (multiple) houses. Start a new life somewhere else where no one knows you. Only one slightly small amount of friends knows where you live. Things go sour? Move to another place.
lupanime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:46 on August 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. They only need the right type of soil, plenty of sunlight and very little water. The green ones are better indoor, the purple and orange ones, outdoor.
Jade plants aren't invisible. My child pruning the whole damn thing with two year old little plucking fingers and my mother watering it "because it's so big" every fucking day will kill it dead.
My house and the one next door both have this plant growing in our front yard. Around the time we moved in a year and a half ago, my landlord hacked off a sizable chunk from one of them and threw it in the ice plant outside the house next door. That hacked off part is still alive. Wtf.
It works. The problem is you realize a few years in that you're having to work hard to keep up the illusion of your life. It's exhausting.
My BTDT advice: skip this step. Make friends that know you don't have your shit together. Stock the drinks you want to drink. Keep your toothbrush handy. As long as you've got good toilet paper, a clean hand towel and a sparkling toilet in the bathroom, the friends you have as a result of being real will be better friends than the ones you "achieve" by leading a magazine illusion lifestyle.
Yeah, I don't think I could commit to something like this in the long term. Some of the tips like keeping a plant and a clean toilet and random cushions are little improvements that are definitely viable though. I already have friends that would see straight through the bullshit but these minor things are pretty great.
Plus, the way the whole thing is written is excellent.
Or just spend some time to learn some homemaking skills. Cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping and stocking arent terribly hard.
Didnt know how to properly clean a room till i was 17. Looked it up online.(declutter, wipe top to bottom, organize). Cleaned it spotless in an hour or two.
Id rather hang with a person with onions in their stockings than lemons in a bowl. Bitch, your lemons are loosing their aromatic compounds and moisture in that bowl, put them in a zip lock in your fridge. Alliums4lyfe.
I have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and earl grey.
If you run out just mix up words from Wes Anderson movie titles.
I got Grand Darjeeling, Aquatic Moonrise, Royal Budapest...
They call you out on it? No worries! Take that old used Lipton and reuse it! And to fool them, throw some random shit in there. Cinnamon or that unlabeled random powder in your cupboard. Are you a smoker? Ash works too! Chewing gum right now? Spit in the cup! A potted plant in the kitchen? A pinch of dirt! If they make a face, comment in the douchiest manner possible, "oh I guess this blend is too sophisticated for you. Lemme check for some Snapple."
It's for sure a mind over matter thing. I make sure to clean my apartment when I know people are coming over but if it's more impromptu the overall layout is still there and I can work around it and somehow people still seem impressed.
Now I'm starting to wonder if my setup is more on the alcoholic side and less on the sophisticated side. Sidenote, I just noticed instead of buying 2 glass bottles of sparkling water and two of regular water I instead bought 4 bottles of sparkling water. Fak.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I boil my water and have a glass jug sitting out. It's winter now so I don't have anything in the fridge, but I usually have a jug of water in the fridge in the summer.
Clean bathroom - Done once a fortnight. Done well, and wipe down your tapsets (or actively avoid getting too much water on them) after every time you use them, and it'll always be sparkly. Wipe down any (literal) shit you have stuck in your bowl after you take your dump - easier to clean now than when you chuck whatever bleach you use down the bowl when that shit's all crusty and stuck.
I have a box of oranges on my kitchen counter at the moment because 'tis the season. And I eat way more oranges than lemons.
I also do not know what wine I have because I don't need to buy any - friends who come over usually bring a bottle, and we don't actually finish them all (especially if 3 friends bring a bottle each during a single dinner), so it accumulates.
I make up for my lack of tea choices by having various drinks choices - honey lime/lemon, yuzu, Ribena, green tea... alcohol...
Well, "ils" can be use to refer directly to "the guys" but it more accuratelt refers to "they" in the general sense. if it meant to specify "the guys" they'd almost have to use "les hommes" instead.
In this case, "Big Papa" probably wants to exclude men from the group. I mean, maybe not. I don't know how Big Papa swings, but that was the feeling I got.
Careful with that last one. I would totally ask for the elderberry tea.
Plutoxx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:02:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried this, someone asked me about the book I had by my bedside and they knew the book and asked me how far into it I was and if "X revealed that secret to Y" yet. I stood there like: https://media.giphy.com/media/LRVnPYqM8DLag/giphy.gif
Just read one impressive looking classic and keep that on your nightstand whenever someone comes to visit. If they come to visit again, you can tell them that you're rereading it because you find it fascinating, or you've recently experienced something in life that made you relate to the characters in the book.
Also, reading takes free time, nobody has time for that. Try getting the audiobook and listening to that when you're on the road!
Always best to lay one down you've at least read or seen the movie for. I'm an avid reader, but I tend to lay out whatever book seems the most impressive....and it differs depending on the person.
R_Philo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:15:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you offer me a big list of teas better be ready to actually get me something from it. That trick will get you found out.
Same. I'm going to pick something from the front of the list (or if one sounds especially interesting) due to not wanting to listen to the long list. So if all the person has is the ones at the end, they will just going to make themselves look foolish.
My sister did all these things so she eventually tricked herself into thinking she had her shit together. Now has her shit together and working a well paying job in Zรผrich.
My high school french has failed me just like I failed it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did you think gland meant in this context?
My knowledge of french comes from 4 years of french classes that I passed because the teacher liked me. I really should relearn it since I'd like to know a second language and french is the easiest for me to learn.
Call your favourite pizza place and ask them to send your pizza partially cooked. Just enough so that it doesn't completely fall apart when you pick it out of the box. Pick up the ingredients that fell off the uncooked pizza and spread them on your kitchen counter. Pop the pizza in the oven when the guests call on the intercom and a few minutes after they arrive serve them your homecooked pizza you made from scratch.
Dude. Pre-packaged Pizza crust, jar of sauce, deli sliced pepperoni, pre sliced and pitted greek olives, and here is the most important part.. sliced package mozzarella cheese and shredded parmesan cheese. That pizza takes 3 minutes to put together and tastes like it came from a gourmet hipster pizza joint. It's the two cheeses, man. Its crazy. I made this for a girl I went out with and our 2nd date was her bringing over her friends to show off the amazing cook she was dating. Ended up dating one of her friends too afterwards. It's magic. Magic. And so very very lazy. Like cooking frozen shrimp, spinach, and a jar of coconut milk in the melt off water from the shrimp. Add some red chili like you have in the drawer from your delivery pizza and "oh my god you know how to cook Thai food! Let me take my panties off and get comfortable!"
Why stop there? Just mill flour yourself, add water and a pinch of salt, roll out a pizza base and then add your handmade sauce and ingredients you want. A little more work but even more homemade than that half-arsed shite you posted.
Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. But if you're not: this whole thread is all about taking something that normally requires a lot of work to be nice. Why is my one comment about uncooked pizza dough the thing that sets you off? I'm not talking about that tough flatbread stuff you buy in the shrink wrap. I'm saying you can sometimes buy actual real made from scratch dough from your supermarket deli/bakery or from a pizza shop. This whole thread is about being half assed. I mean, if my comment really twisted your knickers the guy above me must have you throwing throwing things about the room. Haha.
I am surprised by how many of those I do before people come over. Especially the wine one... It's the only bottle in my house, of course I just bought it 20 minutes ago but let me pretend I just pulled it from the cellar...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm, only problem is the tea. I have friends that would pick a random one out of the middle, or try to pick something from one of those fake plant things I put up to look classy and boil it.
You know what looks more together than the jars in that first pic? The neatly ordered pans on a nicely tiled wall that is CLEAN.
I know people who keep everything in jars because they're poor, but the place is cluttered as fuck because it's small, and it's dirty, because they don't have the time to keep it clean.
I swear I had a guy imitating him at work the other day.
I went up to a table and asked for their order and he asked for ribs. I asked what kind of potato he wanted and he goes "Potato?" So I explain (because a lot of people don't know the ribs come with a potato) and he's still confused so I say "You know... baked, fries, or even rice." And THAT'S when the realization hits.
Some people sadly probably don't associate fries with the vegetable they come from. You get kids who won't believe burgers once walked the field, crapping and mooing.
It's weird to ask about potato when one of the options isn't even made from potatoes. Why would you not ask something like, "what kind of side would you like?" or "would you like fries, rice, or baked potato on the side?"
The rice isn't that popular, tbh. Usually it goes something like, "What kind of potato would you like?" "What kind do you have?" "Baked, fries, chips, sidewalk fries, or, you can get rice if you want." The guy's confusion at the word potato caught me off guard.
ComaVN ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've eaten a lot, but I've never encountered rice potatoes.
When confronted about this horrible joke, insist it never happened with the same level of commitment.
Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.
It's just imagining a family staring at a man eating a potato as he raises his eyebrows in shock and goes 'hmMMMMMM tastes VERY STRANGE'
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also: the guy who convinced his housemate that they had bought scrambled eggs. Don't know how to link but the two stories are the funniest ever on here.
Dimsml ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:14:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone know if OP ever followed with what ever happened? how long did the relationship last? is it still going on? did the girlfriends parents ever give in to believing you? Do you really know what a potato is?! so many unanswered questions!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's not exactly the same but there's a joke in an Andy Samberg show, Cuckoo, where a boyfriend meeting the parents for the first time claims to not know what a potato is.
This guy's version is funnier but I still think he's riffing off the show.
It just doesn't work for me but to each their own, of course.
miauw62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's really hard to verify the truth of anything on the internet, and for many things it doesn't really matter whether it really happened or not, so I just enjoy the stories.
I guess they're not as fun if you can't suspend disbelief, though.
This response to a thread about what you'd do if a nuclear weapon hit 5km away:
Well, I'm not dead. That tells me a number of things.
For starters, I have a pretty good idea that we're at war with Canada right now. Also, I'm pretty sure that the rest of the country is toast and that some distinctly weird shit is going down.
I'm 5 clicks from bupkis. There's nothing worth hitting within probably five times that range from where I am right now and even that is charitably a tier 3 target even from the Soviet perspective.
Back in the day the Russians operated a 40 kiloton warhead which was delivered by the SS-3 missile system; it's since retired but, as pretty much the only warhead that was operated by not-the-united-states, survivable from 5km out, and delivered by missile I'm pretty sure that's what the strike was from. The SS-3 isn't terribly sophisticated as ballistic missiles go and it's probably in pretty poor repair on account of being decommissioned since 1969 but given that someone's nuking rural southwestern Virginia, the re-appearance of a 45 year old atomic weapons system is hardly the strangest thing about today. At least it explains why there's a surplus of developable land in my little mountain town; the SS-3 never was tremendously accurate.
The bad news is that, accurate or not, the SS-3 is an intermediate range missile with a maximum range of about 750 miles. That's about 1200 km in communist units. Since the SS-3 isn't sea-launchable that leaves a launch site somewhere in the continental United States or southern Canada -- somewhere around Toronto or Ottawa; it's a theater weapon, so my guess is Toronto.
The Canadians are invading; I always knew this day would come.
It could be the Russians invading through Canada but that seems a bit of a stretch. Invading Canada without anyone noticing would be difficult, even if you were good at hockey and very polite. Setting up a disused missile system within spitting distance of Detroit while still maintaining the charade of being our Poutine loving neighbors to the north beggars the imagination. No -- it's far more likely that, fearing a Donald Trump presidency, the Canucks have decided that it's aboot time to deal with the United States before things go even further off the rails and this is the fumbled first strike - an apologetically ineffectual weapon purchased in oil shale money from some Eastern European arms dealer.
The interstate will be a ruin after the blast and areas north are far more logical targets. My van's old though; it should still run despite the EMP and I have an hour or so to get clear before the fallout becomes a problem. I slip off my shoes and walk in sock-feet to my vehicle -- better to ditch the potentially radioactive socks than to be without shoes -- and prepare to head west through the Jefferson National Forrest before swinging south.
We'll regroup in Georgia, down below the gnat line, and use the weather to our advantage. They'll be sapped by the heat and, with a little luck, we can push them back north of the Ohio river by next Thanksgiving, though I expect it'll be a sparse one.
No maple syrup in the sweet potato casserole, that's for sure.
Yeah, that's a phrase that 's made its way into my common vocabulary. When someone asks me to convert between units (because for some reason I'm the guy everyone asks to do math problems), I call metric "communist units".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:07:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a European, I have to ask: why do you guys, aka the "home of the free" nation make pride of using the same system the brits invented, which was the empire you guys have fought to get this freedom? That doesn't make any sense.
Also the meter was invented in the French revolution which was fueled by the same libertarian ideals the US where. So how is the imperial system the freedom system?
Actually the whole Liberty vs Commie units is a joke about how antiquated the US is. I tend to use metric in most things I design and build. Metric is much easier to work with in almost all cases.
NASA uses a mix of liberty units and hippie-surrender units. And the scientific community may use dirty commie units at work, but when we go home we draw a long hot bath with gallons and gallons of freedom water. And bubbles, of course.
And that includes all communist countries, does it not? And as I recall, the other two who aren't us aren't normally known for having their shit together.
How much of a factor is the emp though, when it comes to nuclear strikes ? I thought I read long ago that the emp is generated by the initial gamma ray burst of the blast interaction with the earth's magnetic field, and that it depended heavily on the location and altitude of the blast how significant the emp would be.
TIL anyone not using the weird fraction based imperial units is a commie. I mean just look at this and compare it to this. How Americans succeed in engineering anything that works is beyond me.
koopcl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:08:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a nation that was supplied with state-of-the-art weapons, aircraft, and support from the USSR and China. It's sad when people perpetuate this myth. It does a disservice to the histories of all of the nations involved in that war. And it shows who hasn't bothered to pick up a history book on the subject.
No. My point was that you don't understand the topic, so stop spreading misinformation simply because you wanted a witty reply to what was satire in the first place.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the cavi-wipe shower you had to take afterwards, but you have to do it in the squad because you're enroute to your 5th call of the day and you have 17 hours on shift still.
abexaem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's c dif
Farado ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:49:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out /r/oldpeoplefacebook and look over the top posts of all time. So many pages of hilarity. I have tears in my eyes from laughing everytime I read it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:45:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jenny from Forrest Gump. She gets so much goddamn flak from people who have seen the movie. It's like they tuned out completely at the normal human experience just because they think Forrest is adorable.
Jenny didn't think she was in love with Forrest because she thought she was taking advantage of him the same way her father molested her.
For fucks sake, Forrest is retarded. Jenny, out of everyone who's ever met him, knows this best of all. She knows that her closest friend and only loved one is a fucking idiot. Imagine that. Imagine for one second that the only person who was always kind to you was someone who didn't know any better. Everyone in the world who knew about your father looked at you either as a victim or as something disgusting, but that one man doesn't.
And it's because he's retarded.
Jenny doesn't think that way at the start. As a kid, she just thinks he's different and is just glad to have a friend. But as she gets older, especially as a teenager, she realizes that her closest friend will never mature like she does. He loves her like he would anything and everything else, so long as its nice or cuddly, like a pet or a sibling, at least in her mind. Her father treated her like shit, and there was no way in hell others didn't do the same when they found out she was molested. She would have wanted to feel loved.
That's where she gets the abusive relationship crap. She wants so much to be loved that she doesn't understand that they are taking advantage of her. She thinks that as long as they aren't forcing her to have sex, that's normal. Getting beat on, pressured to drug addiction, and dragged around into whatever dangerously extreme political bands they're into is just fine, as long as they don't rape her. That's why she's so shocked when Forrest defends her from harm. Why would anyone do that if what they're doing to her is normal?
She keeps leaving Forrest behind because she convinces herself that he doesn't really love her. She convinces herself that his affections are shallow, since he would never be able to really understand love either. I mean really, how many of you honestly think someone who is that mentally challenged could understand the complexities and nuances of love? There's no way they could. What they have is something simple, and Jenny doesn't think that could be real.
And even IF she believed he could, even IF she got out of that abusive cycle, she knows better. FFS, if that scene with Forrest and her in her college dormroom had the genders reversed, people would be so fucking uncomfortable about that scene because it'd be inching so close to rape. Jenny knows that. She realizes that. That is why she shuts off her feelings for Forrest, above any other reasons to stay away: she thinks she is molesting him. She saw how uncomfortable he was when she did that and thought holy fuck, what the hell am I doing?
Can you imagine how twisted you must feel after realizing in that moment that you turned into the father who molested you? How the fuck can you love yourself after doing that to your best friend, when you know what that's like? Would you ever let yourself get close to them again if you really cared about them?
So Jenny kept running away. Every time Forrest gets close and saves her, she runs off before she falters. She won't let herself get near him, and as the movie goes on, she fails a little more each time. First she blows him off after the strip club, telling him to stay away. Then she walks with him in DC, but still leaves with her boyfriend. Then she stays with him in his house and finally sleeps with him, after that one critical moment.
When he tells her he does know what love is, and asks her why she doesn't love him.
She finally gives in and does sleep with him, but can you imagine thinking afterwards? Would you, in her shoes, with absolute and unwavering certainty, think you did the right thing? Or would you be afraid that you did exactly what you had been avoiding because you do actually care that much about him?
So she runs away. She hides her child from him, because she thinks he shouldn't have to worry or pay for something he can't handle. She thinks she's wronged him, and the least she could do is set things right by raising a good child, without dragging him down.
And then she gets sick. Doctors don't know what it is, but she's going to die. Her kid is only a few years old. Can you imagine struggling with that decision to tell your victim that they have a kid and now they have to take care of it because you're going to die? That's what she struggles with before coming to terms with the fact that she's happy with him, and he's happy with her, and that's what love actually is. It's something simple and unconditional, and even Forrest can understand it.
It takes her her whole goddamn life to figure out that love is just that simple, and she dies months afterwards. She realized she had been running away from what made her happy, and it isn't wrong, and she only gets so much time together before it's over.
And instead of realizing that narrative even exists in the story, people just bitch about how Jenny is such a slut, but she won't even love the only person who cares about her. Jenny always loved Forrest, during the whole fucking movie. She loved him so much, she thought she was taking advantage of him and ran away for his sake. She didn't realize she was wrong until it was almost too late.
Fuck, that's depressing.
EDIT: Obligatory gushing, but actually I just wanted to add a TL;DR:
TL;DR: Jenny thought she was molesting Forrest because he couldn't understand what love is, so she either suppressed her feelings or ran away.
That's incredibly deep. I always thought of Jenny as a much more real character than most other people I've watched it with for a lot of these reasons, but I never really went through the whole movie from her perspective and seeing just how much sense it makes.
The write up in Jenny's character is incredible but going through the comments some one tipped the guy who wrote that a bitcoin. Value at the time was about 20 bucks. If he save that bit coin it's currently worth 2400 dollars.
I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body. I got zapped in Iraq and I've got some unsightly scars, and I sometimes struggle to accept that I'll never be as physically capable as I used to be. Fucking sucks sometimes.
Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes....
Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.
It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.
They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better.
Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.
Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells...
It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world.
To him, she is perfect and beautiful.
A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.
Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
No shit. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true.
Somebody said basically the same thing to me when this post went up originally. We talked a little about when you feel this "change" come over you, it's often accompanied by a sense of dread or trepidation or fear.
This might help. It's one of my replies to him during our conversation:
Oh, dude, I know that fear well. I've been blown up, stabbed, and had my ass kicked more than once.
Yet no pain I've ever experienced is as bad as getting your heart stomped on. It is indescribable. You would give or do almost anything to make it stop, even just for an hour...
It seems almost suicidal to allow another fallible, imperfect human being to have that much power over you, especially when you know what could happen.
You know what, though?
If the worst happens, you just gut it out and fucking deal. Use it as fuel to make yourself a better man. Then, when the wounds close, you make better judgments and smarter decisions about the next girl - and there will be a Next Girl if this one goes away. There's always another woman out there. Some are worse...but some are better, if you're up for it.
Good luck, man. I hope that, whatever happens, you make this event a positive one.
It seems almost suicidal to allow another fallible, imperfect human being to have that much power over you, especially when you know what could happen.
Yep, it's one of those things where, when you're not actively in love or feeling that way for another person, you think to yourself, "Man, where was my mind when that was going on?" and then, when it does happen again, all you can think is, "Welp, here we go again."
I hope you end up to be twice the man I am, because....well, I'm kind of an idiot. I'd never wish my life on anyone.
You don't write this kind of stuff unless you think about it a lot. You don't think about it a lot unless you've made a bunch of painful mistakes, and you're trying not to repeat them.
And if someone writes very well about the subject - you can draw your own conclusions...
Everyone views their life objectively and usually worse in comparison to others. I can tell you, the way you talk, and the way you present yourself at least is something I wish I could do.
ninklo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:59:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last year of college a lot of the work we were doing was project based and you needed a partner. I had taken some time off from school so I was coming back into a group a people I didn't know, so me and this girl were paired together.
She was kind of a plain Jane and stuck out a bit as kind of the odd girl out from the rest of the group. "Great" I thought, "a number of cute girls in the group and I get stuck with the plain one who has no friends."
It's not that people didn't like her, she just didn't fit really, and after a bit it wasn't had to see why. She didn't put much effort into her appearance, jeans and t-shirt all the time. She was a bit tom-boyish. She lacked in social graces, this girl was not afraid to be alarming upfront or honest or a bit rude or crass. She was very dry, and wholly unsentimental. To be honest she drove me crazy the first couple of months.
After a while though she grew on me because once I was honest with myself I was exactly like her, I just didn't have the courage to be as blunt and honest about who I was.
Then one day we're working and she's twirling her short hair and trying to chew on it unsuccessfully and all of the sudden everything changes. That fucking prism shift of an entirely different perspective. All those "plain" features were now natural, and stark. The other girls in our group paled by comparison. All of the sudden this friend I've been working with for a few months is the only thing my mind can focus on.
Sadly though there's no happy ending. She was dating someone at the time, but I don't think that would have made a difference anyway. Though our relationship didn't change I think she noticed when I did and didn't want anything to do with it. Like I said she was rather unsentimental. We worked together, went out together, spent 20-40 hours a week together for a year and when we graduated and were saying good bye I saw no hint of attachment, no change of temperament, forget romantic feelings, it was like she didn't have any feelings for me at all, not even as like a "category 2" friend. I can't say it didn't hurt but I never blamed her for it. She wasn't cold. She loved people in her life, she just didn't feel that way about me, even a little bit, even in platonic way. And that's who she was, and that's part of what I think I might have fallen in love with.
Maybe it wasn't love, maybe just a hard infatuation, but any other time I've been with a girl it felt forced, like I was always pretending to be someone I wasn't. I watch too many movies, I was like some fake Disney or John Huges version of a boyfriend. I faked it because I didn't know the difference between intimacy and love. With this girl I couldn't help myself though, I didn't even like her to begin with and than one day all of the sudden I think I love her.
I may never find it again but thanks to her I at least know what I'm looking for, someone who I can be my honest, imperfect self with.
Just got out of what I've now learned was an emotionally abusive relationship with someone unwilling to help themselves, and thus unwilling to be there for me.
I think I just got closure the other day, and this message helped solidify that suspicion tenfold.
I've been learning more and more lately that (unfortunately) the best way to improve yourself is to screw everything up. Still the way you articulate it is very well done.
I don't know if I'd take it quite that far - I mean, getting caught for starting dumpster fires all over your city could be construed as "screwing everything up", but I doubt there's a lot of personal development in that.
Here's another way to think about it:
There's a Voltaire quote that goes,"Let's explore. If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we'll find something new."
Basically, don't let fear keep you from going places and trying stuff out. You'll make plenty of mistakes along the way.
My girlfriend has that quote framed and hanging over her toilet, incidentally. No kidding - she really does. One day I'm gonna work up the balls to ask her....why that quote, in that place?
Can you write a book? Seriously, you write a 100 page book: What love is and how to deal, and I'll fork out $35 to buy it hard cover. Thanks for all these posts
I really appreciate this follow-up. Reading your original post just about made me cry. I've been in love with someone for years who doesn't feel the same way, and I think about that a lot. I need to remember that there are other people out there, and open myself to the possibility of meeting the Next One.
You'll never believe it until it happens...but there's always a Next One.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:14:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, dude, I know that fear well. I've been blown up, stabbed, and had my ass kicked more than once.
Yet no pain I've ever experienced is as bad as getting your heart stomped on. It is indescribable. You would give or do almost anything to make it stop, even just for an hour...
This is how i get men to grasp why domestic abuse victims stay
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that fails, condition yourself - every time you feel it, do something positive for yourself (50 burpees or study for 20 mins or whatever). Try and meet someone else, also.
i know you wrote that thing about love 3 years ago, but that was incredible. it felt like such a personal and honest description of what love is, i have no doubt that it's the best description of love I have ever heard. this is coming from a person who hasn't felt those feeling in a while and doesn't think about it anymore. you've reminded me of life's joys & given me hope for the future.
This, especially the part about using it as fuel, is so true. I'd gotten my heart comprehensively stomped on in the fall, a month or so before exams that I was really worried about. I took my anger at the girl, my fears and anxieties over the tests, and some raw determination to get over it, and smashed the hell out of those exams. I wish I could have bottled that combination. It was one hell of a fuel.
I needed that. Would have been better a few weeks ago, but it still helps now. Thanks.
Cabotju ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:15:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you are wise as hell. Make a book or a blog and sign me up. Man I could have used advice like yours the past 9 years
Kirioko ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By reading that, I don't think I've ever really been in love with anyone... I'm still in college so it's probably not all that bad, but I'm still worried I guess.
But you've felt love before, right? Maybe not romantic love, but love for family, friends, pets, something, right?
Kirioko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I guess. Sometimes I can feel really apathetic, and I haven't had the greatest relationship with my family so that is a pretty difficult comparison right there. I feel really selfish with my relationships with people, I have a hard time empathizing too so that probably plays a factor. I like my friends and maybe even love them, but it feels really transient... like I could let go of that feeling if I needed to.
I really have a hard time connecting with pets/little kids/etc., basically people I can't find common mental ground with.
Worry not! You'll find that special someone all in due time my friend!
Kirioko ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just afraid that I'm not capable of feeling that way. All my friends have all had crushes, relationships, etc. but I've not had so much as a celebrity crush or even a fictional character.
Celebrity crushes and fictional characters don't have shit on the girl standing in front of you. It's also possible that you just haven't found anyone you like. Some people are more particular than others, and if your sample size is small, the odds of having come across a girl that can do this to you is small.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:39:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me the number of people I run into is fairly decent, but I've only become attracted to girls I've spent a lot of time around. The two of us being different people, it of course might be different for you, but that's how it works for me. So the better question, for someone that works like me, would be how many people that match your looks standards do you get to know as anything better than passing acquaintances?
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good point, I guess not many. I'm not attracted to any of my close friends, though. I don't understand what a looks standard is, I am not sure if I really have a standard.
Looks standard is just someone that is not repellent to you with how they look/carry themselves/bathe etc. The at-a-glance acceptability test.
For me it usually hits within the first few months of knowing someone if it's going to hit. But again, not everyone is the same and your mileage may vary. And for me that lightning has only struck a very few times in my life: once in elementary, once in middle school, once in college, and once a few years after. I only dated one of them, and there have been other girls I've dated that weren't one of those few. So, y'know, don't sweat it that you haven't had the obsessive fascination style attraction to anyone.
I had a friend that was quite similar to you even though he had relationships etc. Everytime he had a girlfriend he never wanted to do stuff with her and talked about how anoying it was. But then he met an older women and was completely different. Maybe you are just not really attracted to the guys in your life (or guys at all).
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it could be, my social circle is limited to mostly college students but I have a few older acquaintances as well.
Bunslow ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:30:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whelp now I can say I've seen "Fuck?" as a one word sentence-question.... man this language can be weird
Best I can do to show you how grateful I am is giving you that funny gold badge, couldn't do it at the time I've seen your comment (I was looking for it a few months ago, but I couldn't find it), because I was broke, never thought of sharing the story with anyone, but I've already shed some tears about it, and getting it out might actually help with everything.
At the time I read your comment I was very attracted to a girl. I've been friends with her more than a year at the time, there wasn't a day I wasn't thinking of her at least once. Most people didn't find her attractive at all, to me she was perfect - that cute smirk whenever she'd see something funny, a tiny mole she has right above her lips - she hated it but damn it is so cute, always with great manicure, because she cares about it a lot, and of course her beautiful smell. Can't compare it to anything or anyone, but I never could get enough of it whenever we were saying our hellos and goodbyes while hugging.
After reading your comment I've finally got the courage to ask her out, I did it, and she said she's been waiting for it for a while, she was thinking about doing it herself in a few days. Of course she agreed to go on a date. It was all wonderful, holding hands, finally having a great time together knowing what we really wanted from each other.
A few days later we went out again. An hour into a date and our lovely walk in the park we've met my douchey friends. I knew they weren't the best people, but at that time I knew - "I'm never going to speak with them again". They made fun of both of us, insulted both of me, then asked if I wanted to hang out with them instead of her. Now, I'm rather a shy guy, introvert, keep most of my emotions inside me no matter if I'm sad, angry or happy. It was the loudest "get the fuck out of my face" I've ever shouted at someone in my life. We've literally never spoke again, ever.
Thankfully, the lovely girl was really grateful I've done it all for her, scared of the whole situation. After a while carried on with our date like it's never happened. I thought that the best time of my life was a few days earlier, but it was that exact moment, when I took her home and we kissed goodbye. That's the top of the world for me.
To sum it up - thanks to that /u/SavageHenry0311 comment, I've found out that girls can actually like me, got the courage to ask someone out for the first time, and got rid of a bunch of douches from my life. I'm still fairly young but up to this time, that's where I've peaked.
I've been with the girl for over 2 and a half years. I still think about her almost every day, all the small details like that cute smirk come up everyday as well, sadly we're not together anymore, but I'd rather keep the causes to myself. I don't really know if I'm ever going to find anyone as perfect as she is to me, I hope so, but it's been really dark and sad lately, and thinking it all through, it's great to tell someone the story. I don't know if it's rational, probably not, but reading your comment actually made my day, even though I'm thinking of her again, it's a bit different than it was yesterday, and the day before.
Got to say you might be my hero the second time in my life, you've changed it once before for the better, kind stranger, hope you're going to have a great day, week, year and life. It wasn't said enough today yet, and I have to say that again - YOU'RE AWESOME. You've made me a better person, you've made my life better than it'd be without asking out the girl, and I'm truly grateful for that. I hope that one day they would let us order a beer or another favorite drink for a person through reddit, because I definitely owe you more than one.
I just wrote a bunch of words. YOU gave them life!
I don't really know if I'm ever going to find anyone as perfect as she is to me, I hope so, but it's been really dark and sad lately
If you do your job, you will find love again. It won't be a carbon copy, because you'll have changed - but it'll be what you need, when you need it.
"Wait...what job?" you say..."I've already got one of those!"
Well, see...you don't get paid for this job. You didn't apply, weren't interviewed, and receive no pay for your work. Can't get fired, either. In most senses of the word, this recent "employment" you happened upon is extremely unfair. It's like the draft, but with less guns and yelling!
Luckily, this job's duties are fairly simple. In fact, there are only two of them:
Job Duty #1: You are to keep permanent, negative consequences from entering your life.
Job Duty #2: You will work on making yourself the best version of you.
The first one means that you're not allowed to get a DUI, or develop an addiction, or pick up an assault charge by punching some dude in the face. That's pretty obvious stuff, but it needs to be said.
It also contains some more subtle responsibilities, like being mindful of your dignity and pride. Don't devolve into a mewling, writhing animal, flinching from pain and grasping always for pleasure and security. Conduct yourself in a manner Future You will be proud of. You're going to think of this girl, this time in your life, this whole experience in future years. Often, what feels good now leads to unbidden cringes and thunderous remonstrations booming through your noggin later.
This gets in the way of Job Duty #2. The best version of you is not one that carries around a staggering load of shame stemming from behavior that seems (in retrospect) easy to control.
Oh, you'll fuck up - believe me. Just make sure your fuckups are the kind that pop momentarily into your head while showering - not the kind that force you to move, or change careers, or fear ever meeting certain people again.
Job Duty #2 is defined entirely by you. Your performance evaluations will be written by this one dude named Future You. I hear that guy is demanding, but fair. I also heard he doesn't miss much, so I doubt you should take shortcuts or try and bullshit him. He also becomes enraged at procrastination.
So, that's it! That's your new permanent job!
Better get to it.
Cabotju ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:21:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write a blog. And then collect those posts into a book because Goddamnit you are a wise son of a gun and us millennials need that shit
My GF of 2 almost 3 years (I know it's not ages but I'm 18 now so it feels like I've been with her forever since it was my younger years) just broke up with me after telling me she doesn't love me anymore and I now realize everything you said is exactly true, and god damnit it hurts to know that I won't be able to experience that with her again. I'm happy I saw your post, it at least brought back some good memories to cheer me up while I'm feeling a bit down :)
I just got a similar comment from another guy, so I'll repeat what I posted to him. Hopefully it helps - although it won't feel like help if it works as intended:
If you do your job, you will find love again. It won't be a carbon copy, because you'll have changed - but it'll be what you need, when you need it.
"Wait...what job?" you say..."I've already got one of those!"
Well, see...you don't get paid for this job. You didn't apply, weren't interviewed, and receive no pay for your work. Can't get fired, either. In most senses of the word, this recent "employment" you happened upon is extremely unfair. It's like the draft, but with less guns and yelling!
Luckily, this job's duties are fairly simple. In fact, there are only two of them:
Job Duty #1: You are to keep permanent, negative consequences from entering your life.
Job Duty #2: You will work on making yourself the best version of you.
The first one means that you're not allowed to get a DUI, or develop an addiction, or pick up an assault charge by punching some dude in the face. That's pretty obvious stuff, but it needs to be said.
It also contains some more subtle responsibilities, like being mindful of your dignity and pride. Don't devolve into a mewling, writhing animal, flinching from pain and grasping always for pleasure and security. Conduct yourself in a manner Future You will be proud of. You're going to think of this girl, this time in your life, this whole experience in future years. Often, what feels good now leads to unbidden cringes and thunderous remonstrations booming through your noggin later.
This gets in the way of Job Duty #2. The best version of you is not one that carries around a staggering load of shame stemming from behavior that seems (in retrospect) easy to control.
Oh, you'll fuck up - believe me. Just make sure your fuckups are the kind that pop momentarily into your head while showering - not the kind that force you to move, or change careers, or fear ever meeting certain people again.
Job Duty #2 is defined entirely by you. Your performance evaluations will be written by this one dude named Future You. I hear that guy is demanding, but fair. I also heard he doesn't miss much, so I doubt you should take shortcuts or try and bullshit him. He also becomes enraged at procrastination.
This was beautifully written - thanks for it. I'm gonna decompress for a second over a recent experience that your post helps me see more clearly. Tl;dr: I think a girl and I fell for each other, am not sure, will find out in a few days. I have been in several relationships, some that lasted several years, but this feels different.
This woman is actually a friend of my ex (we broke up two years ago) that I've known since before I met my ex, and she's passing through town soon. A few weeks ago, I was driving through her hometown and let her know in advance. She invited me to stay with her and grab dinner during my big ass road trip, and I happily accepted. I hadn't seen her in years, she'd offered for me to visit if I was ever passing through, and it was a good stopping point since she was in the process of moving. The plan was I'd show up, help her pack up her stuff and store it in her parents' garage, then stay in her family home for the night before heading up the road. Perfect plan.
And man, something felt different when I saw her. We have always been able to instantly connect and pick up right where we left off, but this time it was different in a good way. I've always thought she was pretty, but she seemed just a little prettier. I've always known she is brilliant, but this time she seemed even sharper. Even though I know she's not perfect - no one is - she seemed a little closer to it than before.
We hung out all day and, when it was time for dinner, she said she'd picked out a great place but I probably shouldn't wear shorts and a t-shirt (I'd been helping her move and was kind of dirty) so I went to the guest bedroom to change in to one of two nice outfits I'd brought along for the trip. Nothing too fancy - just a nice pair of khakis and a button-up, but I clean up okay. I was changed and presentable in about 5 minutes, so I went and sat downstairs and waited and chatted with her parents. I didn't realize it, but she took awhile to get ready. After about 20 minutes she comes down stairs wearing a beautiful sun dress, her hair looks perfect, she's wearing this delicate perfume that still haunts me three weeks later, and she is just glowing. Her parents make a bemused face that says "this is not normal" and told us to go have fun.
We talked for hours, shared a bottle of wine, walked around town, and then sat in her driveway to talk after so we wouldn't disturb her kind parents that were letting this guy they'd never met stay the night. The whole time she was doing the thing where she turns in the car seat so she can look straight at me and, though I don't know for sure, it made me think we were on the same page: we really want this to be a thing, to steal a kiss from the other person or even just a slight brush of the hand, but don't know how to do it. There were a few awkward breaks in the conversation where we'd stop and just look at one another, and then one of us would break it with a new topic. We eventually decided we should go inside so we slowly made our way to the front door. When we got inside, we both went in to quiet mode so we wouldn't disturb her parents or their dog. We looked each other dead in the eyes and she gave me the best hug I have ever had in my entire life. Seriously, I didn't think hugs could be this good. They usually feel like a rip off or that you're being shortchanged, but not this one. It was a full embrace: my arm around the small of her back, her face gently tucked in to my neck, the works. And it was only about 5 seconds long. We broke apart, said goodnight, and went to our respective rooms. The next day, we both woke up and said we didn't sleep well. I don't know about for her, but for me it's because I was thinking about her and wishing this would somehow work.
We grabbed breakfast the next morning, talked for hours again, and then said goodbye. I thought about her the rest of the trip and, even when I'm trying to think about something else - such as a date a friend set me up on, work, etc. - she just pops back up in my mind. I know the odds of her being "the one" are super small, that I might just be imagining things, that her friendship with my ex will get in the way, or that it won't happen for a million other reasons. But man, she is so stuck in my head.
My dad told me something years ago, when I was consumed with anger at my lot, and taking it out on some very nice (also very unfortunate) women:
I was explaining/complaining to him about why I'd dumped the girl I'd brought over for Thanksgiving dinner. He shook his head and said:
"Boy, you better knock this shit off. If you're lucky, you might fall in love 6 or 7 times in your life. If you're really lucky, you'll get loved back twice. Don't fuck it up."
My dad is a funny guy. He'll banter with you all day on innumerable subjects, or sit in companionable silence. Every once in awhile, though, he'll lean forward, look you in the eyes, and inject these little truth-viruses into your mind - these little philosophies or principles that illuminate The Universe.
I bet my dad would tell you not to fuck this one up.
Good luck, man! I'll be sending positive vibes out into The Universe for you.
So, a small followup - she did indeed come through town on her road trip and we hung out with a group of my friends Sunday night and, after detecting that she might be a little interested, I invited her over for coffee and to hang out before she continued on her trip the next morning. She came over, we chatted for hours, and we were both sad when it was time for her to go. Nothing really happened but the positive, what-are-we-doing tension, was there the entire time. Also, another hug and another intoxicating whiff of that delicate perfume. I swear it's drugs. I'm going to visit her in a few weeks to grab dinner and we'll go from there.
The plot twist to this whole thing is that I dated someone who remains a close friend of hers for 3 years, but we broke up 2 years ago when the now ex-gf had been abusing my generosity and generally taken advantage of my flexibility/commitment to the relationship. She also hated the girl I'm interested in now, despite them being friends, which made me mad because it seemed really unfair (see: extreme jealousy issues that I am now accidentally confirming).
The current girl and I have remained friends ever since and have always wanted to meet up and, when we finally did, it led to some chemistry that I outlined above. Even though my ex-gf has always been mean to her and a bad friend in general, she's still worried about making her mad and the resulting fall out. I respect that - drama isn't fun, especially the kind that has the potential to spiral in to friend wars. But, I've also learned over the last few years that love and feelings rarely pop up in some perfect and tidy way. They bring complications and you have to decide if they're worth it. So, I'm going to try to give her space to weigh if it's worth it or not. I think she's leaning towards yes, but I get that this is a scary decision for a friend group that has remained totally intact since college. They've had no conflict and this would certainly introduce some. I'm hoping she decides it's worth it and I'm going to do my best to show that it would be without putting the pressure on too hard.
Anyways, thought I'd give you an update because what you wrote was pretty meaningful to me. Never really felt moved in any way by internet words before, so thanks. Here's to being patient and knowing when it's time to show my cards.
Oof - the friend drama...I wonder how many women have talked themselves out of amazing relationships because of some "friend" (really an aquaintence that exists mostly on social media)...
That's because it hasn't happened yet. I thought like that before, but you know what? One day a girl stepped into my life and surprisingly she thought all that stuff about me. I got to know her better and I felt the same after some time... we then told each other this and it got even more powerful.
Love is strange. You'll never know who you are going to love or who falls in love with you. There may be big differences, you may think they are out of your league or whatever... but when you feel it, go ahead. I was very lucky to have got a second chance with this girl after I fucked up a date, others may not have another occasion. Don't scare yourself by thinking you'll never be loved: you will. Probably when you least expect it.
Edit: grammar
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I want this so much. I also want long term compatibility too
Thank you for typing out this beautiful piece of art. You're awesome!
There were so many beautiful memories flashing through my mind while reading it.
The last years have been hard for us, but every little thing you described fits perfectly. Even just watching him wake up and inhaling his first coffee like a zombie looks like the most adorable thing in the world to me.
Yeah, I find that as I become more familiar with any particular girl I just generally find them more attractive over time, even if upon first meeting them I may have thought otherwise.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you fall for someone's personality everything about them becomes more beautiful
Cynapse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh maybe. Doesn't cover the guy who thinks a girl is hot, chats her up, asks her out, they hit it off, and eventually get married.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to understanding granularity
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 17:08:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? It's infatuation with a time-jump at the end that skips a lot of what love is: patient, kind, etc.
Edit - ITT: kids, movie watchers.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:38:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what kind of experiences you've had, but from what I've seen it accelerates fast once it gets to the point where you really like multiple things about someone.
I think the infatuation bit was the only part that was meant to be explained in the post, not the entirety of what love is. This being because the OP didn't feel pretty and believed most men won't find her attractive.
I kind of agree with you. It seems like it's moving from liking someone's personality to finding them physically attractive. From my experience it goes the other way.
You are attracted to them physically, you get to know them and like them, and over time you might begin to love who they are as a person.
I do think there are certain truths in the comment, but I think they are more describing how attraction is not an objective experience rather than what love is.
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 20:14:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for showing this to me. I had to share this with my SO. She's always dwelling on the fact that I wasn't in love with her from the first day we met. I want to remind her that even though the love wasn't immediate, it is eternal.
BCSCB ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 17:46:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love at first sight is a myth. Love grows. How can you love someone you don't know?
this. i actually relate this to my child. that first night in the hospital and even before - i didn't feel that love everyone said they did. that overwhelming love. but i wasn't surprised. it takes me a while to love someone. and eventually i did feel that overwhelming love for this baby but not right away. and i kind of feel heartless when i see posts of people saying like " we love you so much and we haven't even met you " or " i am so in love and over the moon ". and i know its facebook but still.. i do question why i am not quick to love like others especially something that i grew and birthed.
It's because everyone is different and that is alright. Some people are really quick and love everything even when they don't know something. Others distrust others until proven otherwise. And then there's a whole grey area in between.
It sucks to feel bad about not immediately loving your own kid, but what really matters is you loved him soon enough and are happy together now.
Thanks, I appreciate that. Thankfully my husband is the same way and he made me feel better about my lack of immediate love. Am pregnant again and I feel a little more excitement knowing that I will eventually grow to love this baby tremendously. Just takes a while to get to know each other :)
"Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person." ~ A kids show, believe it or not.
I never can relate with people who subscribe to that clichรฉ of falling in love at first sight. Nah, you're lusting at first sight, not loving.
F_Klyka ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can still be love, no less strong, but much more fragile.
There are many ways to love. Don't dismiss certain kinds of love just because you haven't experienced them.
BCSCB ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:59:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love requires trust and companionship. I wouldn't call falling for someone in a day love, I'd call it infatuation; you don't understand them yet. Love is deeper. Love is understanding someone and caring for them anyway.
F_Klyka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:32:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're still stuck in your definition based on your experience of love. Love requires this, love is that. Your love, sure. But not every love is like yours.
Seriously, I've crushed on many girls, but I'd say I've only really loved one, and I didn't see her passed just a friend for many months. It was only after I started to really notice her did things start to spiral out of control.
It's amazing. Louis CK is my favorite comedian, and I love how similar the skits in the show are to his stand up bits. He even turns bits into scenes in the show and he pulls it off perfectly (take notes, John Mulaney). But my favorite moments are when it gets real like this, and when he tries out for the Late Night gig.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Louis ck is a lot older and has a lot more sadness than John Mulaney
Taroso ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect, your wife should be happy it wasn't Love at First Sight. Such a thing is deceiving: purely focusing on physical beauty might fool us into thinking someone is more virtuous than they are.
I once told my wife that after meeting her, I immediately felt like we would be best friends for the rest of our lives. Not because we had so much in common (we don't) or because we had one specific moment of spark. It was something else. We felt effortlessly happy in each other's company, from Day One. That's all we knew. That said, she was absolutely gorgeous, and I saw that for a split second. But for the first time, that didn't even matter because at the end of that day, she was the best person I'd ever met.
I'm like your SO. The fact that I liked my now bf first before he even started to notice me makes me self-conscious. Am I originally unattractive and unwanted? Is he now just going with the flow? Does he really want me? Insecurity is a nasty stuff.
Maybe she feels like this too. This reddit is definitely worth sharing, it made me feel better! I hope she will too :D Reassure, hug, kiss her. You're a great guy. I wish you guys long happy relationship โค
I just sent it to mine(she has self image issues) and I explained to her that I don't care what you look like even though you're beautiful looking, your being is radiant and beautiful and is the greatest thing in the universe
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it's better not to as well. If you spend too much time focusing on the future it takes away from the present. When you integrate happiness in the present, over time, it really adds up :)
I recently was broken up by my SO, and this runs so true. I questioned myself when dating her whether I was in love or was I just happy with the convenience of the relationship. But reading that I ticked off all the checklists and realised why it's hurt so much to move on.
She was far from perfect. Scars from a past abusive relationship, personal defects from mistakes she made in her past and tattoos that she was embarrassed about from her rebellious days and medical problems by the list that were our of her control.
What i would say is that these were the foundations of what made her unique and special to me. I've grown to believe that beauty you see radiates from the cracks of imperfection and that's what I saw and fell for.
dammit man that was beautiful. Thanks for sharing that comment.
daftne ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told my fiance my favorite time of day is anytime I pick him up from work. He is always scowling when he hasn't seen me yet, and then as soon as he locks in on my sights, he smiles and his whole face lights up.
This might be my new favorite thing on reddit. Thanks for sharing this...it pretty much describes how me and my GF fell in love...except about the boob part. I noticed those bad boys right away.
Can confirm. Am 47 female with 47 male that sees me as 14 when he was 15 every day. The eye filter is real as fuck because I KNOW I'm not that cute little girl any more. I've aged and don't look anything like what I used to plus I have all my adulting baggage and terrible habits to bring to the table but none of it seems to matter to him.
I had a friend back in the day (we've been out of touch for going on a decade now) that used to say "men are very forgiving". It's true, at least for the vast majority. What she said comes back to me a lot. I don't mean it in a manipulative way, and she didn't either. There's something in the heart of a man that never really lets go, that always sees the best possible incarnation of a person when he's in love. It can be awful, and it can be awesome. It can be torturous, and it can be wonderful. It just depends on the people involved.
Cabotju ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am 47 female with 47 male that sees me as 14 when he was 15 every day. The eye filter is real as fuck because I KNOW I'm not that cute little girl any more. I've aged and don't look anything like what I used to plus I have all my adulting baggage and terrible habits to bring to the table but none of it seems to matter to him.
I had a friend back in the day (we've been out of touch for going on a decade now) that used to say "men are very forgiving". It's true, at least for the vast majority. What she said comes back to me a lot. I don't mean it in a manipulative way, and she didn't either. There's something in the heart of a man that never really lets go, that always sees the best possible incarnation of a person when he's in love. It can be awful, and it can be awesome. It can be torturous, and it can be wonderful. It just depends on the people involved.
Men are very forgiving, I'll remember that. It's true as well
My wife still acts like I am lying when I tell her how beautiful she is. But I know she believes me by the way her cheeks flush and he eyes shine like stars when I say it, because it's sincere.
My question is, how do women experience love? How is it different from this?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:27:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I experience it like this too, honestly.
TL;DR: not different imo also fuck I ranted
At first he's a nobody; then I just have to touch his hair because it's so soft, then I have to hug him because he's warm and smells nice, then I have to say something funny to make him laugh because his smile is beautiful, his face is perfect and seeing it get happier upon seeing me sets my mind on fire.
I start thinking about him all the time, the way he walks or how catching his laugh is or how unique it sounds, like the call of a mystical bird. I'm staring at him nonstop whenever I see him because his every mannerism seems perfectly him. I find a excuse to play with his hand or his hair or his face or his sleeve, or just get close enough to smell him or see every detail of his face because I have to see everything, to know everything because the birthmark on his thumb knuckle is the best thing and the way his eyebrows furrow when he makes a social blunder breaks my heart and sends my mind into a spiral: he's not allowed to be sad, what dares make him sad, I must hold him and hear him and hug him and comfort him and protect his smile and bring it back to life
I can't stop talking to him and listening to his thoughts and small conversations; interactions become the most important thing because there's a excitement like no other living in my heart. Every day I am the most excited about the fact that he exists. Every hug is a little handful of infinity, an instant knock into meditation because I feel safe and safe-keeping, the strength of his spine and the warmth of his armpits and the way his chin rests on my head and I can feel the softness of the skin underneath; every time we talk it is an adventure into wonderland because he is the best storyteller and his voice takes on intonations and his hands move when he talks and he seems so happy, and I'm happy because he's happy
The more I learn to see what he's feeling, the more recursive it gets. I begin to worry that he doesn't like me back. I annoy my friends because I cannot stop talking about him, all the little things that make him happy or sad when he's in the room, not topics but microexpressions, the implicit meanings of small gestures like smiling while passing something or putting a hand upon my shoulder, and I watch them all for a hint- just a hint- but doubt sets in because his personality is just stunning, and his talents are endless but what if one of them is friendliness, what if all these things I do because I can't not he does because he must?
So I vacillate, I fib to get closer to him, I stare at his face, hold his hand, listen to my pulse speed up and feel my own excitement and the magnetic way my eyes are pulled to his smile, the depth of his eyes, the little snowflake pattern within them-
then I see it. Perhaps it's a dilation of the pupil or a smile just when he sees me or one of the little body cues I've learnt to associate with him being anxious (how dare something make him anxious I must know I must hold him to make it better I must hug him and feel the tension leave his body and feel his neck loosen and watch the birthmarks on his ears as they lower and Have! Him! Be! Content! And! Happy!) and that glorious smile comes back, lights the world, or most likely it's all of those, building up in a list that becomes undeniable, unfalsifiable with its length- he thinks of me different
I get in his face, I feel the texture of his skin and trace the lines of his cheeks and stop, for an instant, hiding how much his wellbeing and his every detail and the way his cheeks stand out when he's happy and how much I simply love his cheeks, love his teeth, love the way he can barely sit still, love listening to him talk and him exist, love the feeling of his breath on my skin, love the sincerity of his hugs, love the way I can see the child he used to be in who he is now, what I've gathered from his photos and his stories-
then we kiss and my world explodes.
Even if we break up, when we break up, I can still see it. It stops being sexually attractive, but I still see the beauty of his person and unconditionally support the spirit of becoming that hides within his heart, wanting to hold the child that he was/is inside in my arms because I still know what he's feeling when I see him. I know him well enough, and I want to see him feel happy because he matters. He is human and because of it, he matters, and he showed me why it's great to see the world that way; his existance changed my life, even if close coexistance didn't work out.
EDIT: Not to say I'm the be all end all of womanhood; you do you.
Holy fuck thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me, or how deeply it conveys my own feelings. It's truly beautiful. Enjoy your gold. I'll submit this to /r/bestof too.
Some background, I'm a trans women and the hormones I take have radically altered my brain to the point of no longer existentially being the same existential entity/experience as the person before hormones. The person before me felt the male version of love described up top, but my own feelings are so different that those hazily detached and emotionally inaccessible memories I've struggle to understand what I've been feeling. To know my brain is female and I'm experiencing what it truly feels to be in love or infatuated means the world to me. It's a deep confirmation that I am real and exist when so many mean spirited, unempathetic, and detached from actual science would deny what I know to be true; that I am a woman. Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez, you had to do the whole emotional growing up thing all in one go, with little to no previous childhood reference. That's like, Hardest Difficulty. Congrats!
I don't know if I deserve all that but I'm glad I helped. Best of luck with that one.
She basically did a lot of stuff you described like touching my hair, stealing my scarf/hat, getting close etc. I realized it at the time aswell but after we kissed she was visibly shaken and just left. I thought of it as something negative and started to over think stuff and when she tried to get in contact with me I was kinda unresponsive to her hints. She probably thought it didnt mean much to me and moved on.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez, that really sucks man. Best of luck in the future.
I get in his face, I feel the texture of his skin and trace the lines of his cheeks and stop, for an instant, hiding how much his wellbeing and his every detail and the way his cheeks stand out when he's happy and how much I simply love his cheeks, love his teeth, love the way he can barely sit still, love listening to him talk and him exist, love the feeling of his breath on my skin, love the sincerity of his hugs, love the way I can see the child he used to be in who he is now, what I've gathered from his photos and his stories-
then we kiss and my world explodes.
This is me to a T.
Thank you
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:28:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how it is for me, too, as a man. I can't believe that dumb-ass sexist tripe got 3k upvotes for saying that men fall in love with "lines and curves". What a load of crap.
So, I was deciding whether or not to read this since my now ex girlfriend and I are slowly growing apart. I decided to just read it anyways and woah! This is so extremely accurate, I am impressed by the guy who wrote this for expressing this feeling so marvelously well! I expected to feel sad but actually it made me aware of what is actually happening during love as I could never put it into words.
I have a love-hate relationship with love like this. If I ever meet somebody I can grow up with, I'd be so satisfying to feel love like this requited, but it sucks when it's not being answered.
This can also be a dangerous situation; when you cannot see your partner objectively you are open to fall into obvious traps that you could have seen before. As a guy (or gal), you should always be aware of when you are falling for somebody. Make sure that you read the situation first and know that it isn't going to screw you in the end. Its hard but, it'll save your ass many times
I dated a drag queen who quit being trans and changed his appearance almost completely and I never cared. He gained weight a little and quit shaving, cut his hair short and basically went from girl to boy in a few months. I didn't like the changes and I told him I missed his long hair but it wasn't a biggie. Eventually, he broke up with me and then I realized: I never would've gone on a date with him the way he looks now, but to this day I'm still very in love with him. Even when people change you can't stop loving someone.
rylaro ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:03:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful. The male psyche is so fascinating to me and I love reading things like this.
As a woman this is how it is for me too. My SO is literally the most beautiful human I've ever seen; it doesn't matter what others think or that he isn't the "perfect man" like Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum. To me, he's perfect and it wasn't an instantaneous notion. It took time to get here, but I never want to go back.
I would say it's the same for both men and women, maybe not all. It's definitely how I feel when I'm attracted to women, but it's definitely not restricted to just men.
I've been with men where it wasn't like that, but it is with my current significant other. I grow to appreciate him physically and mentally more as we've been together.
rylaro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot confirm. Have never been in love.
I hope it is the same because this is lovely, whether written by a male or a female. It's just that things like this, from the male perspective, make me feel all mushy inside. In GENERAL, men don't express these sorts of things very often. So I love it when they do.
Don't worry, you're missing out on countless nights staying up late trying to deal with a broken heart. The reason we don't express our emotions openly is because it's so painful there's not too many people we'd trust sharing it with. I've gotten better at it over the years, but even now there's some things I'm probably taking to the grave, and it's probably for the best anyway.
It is painful for everyone. But men are not "supposed" to express their emotions. Men are shamed into stuffing them deep down and suffering quietly alone. It's tragic, and I hope to see those beliefs dissolve in my lifetime. Thankfully there is already some progress being made. I want to live in a world where men are free to be human beings.
Yeah that's the thing, we've basically been conditioned to keep it to ourselves, while it seems like women are comfortable with crying in front of others. I'm honestly not sure if it's because the way society is or there's something different with women that make it easier for them to be open.
I believe I fell in love my my current gf the moment I saw her. In the grocery store, with her former gf, three years before I ever spoke to her. Her lopsided grin, the white eyelashes, the way walks and stands. All these little moments and thoughts happened for me immediately, they keep getting bette and bigger after almost three years together.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:38:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but I often hear among girls that "it's hard to imagine they think about us as much as we think about them," so it's comforting, I think, to know that just because men are taught to not share feelings doesn't mean they don't have them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's kind of the point here. That who the person is as a whole can influence how they appear to you.
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not for me. I can appreciate someone's good looks whether male or female, and I definitely can be touchy-feely and affectionate, but not like this. Reading the post helped me understand the guy's perspective but I don't think I can relate to it...
In what ways is your experience different? My thought was that this may not be a male/female thing but just a variation between individuals.
Kirioko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell if someone is objectively attractive or not, male or female, but it's very much an impersonal thing for me. I'm not attracted to them, per se, but I can tell that people generally consider them attractive/good looking. I don't think I've ever had so much as a crush, whether on a celebrity/friend/fictional being/etc. I just don't have this personal, emotional involvement when it comes to that kind of thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:21:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn this made me feel it's time to get back on the market.
VandWW ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the sweetest and most heartwarming thing I've ever read. I've saved it for myself now.
I have been with my man for almost 7 years, and I have always thought that he is being extra kind when he tells me I how much he loves the way I look. He says he is still madly in love with me, and I just have never been able to understand that. I have lots of flaws and he doesn't seem to even notice them. My heart warmed up so much when I read this. I just realized that when I catch him looking at me and he looks warm and full of love, he actually sees something completely different than I see. Men are amazing creatures.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew from the 2006 Denzel Washington movie Deja Vu from Adam Goldberg's exposition that even looking at yourself in the mirror is not a true reflection of yourself and that you can never see yourself for how you truly are. I also know from Inception or something that the very act of remembering something changes the memory. Now, reading this comment I realize that the way people see others is also how they never truly are. It gives you a romantic view of the world.
Fuck this makes me think about all the women who I've ever dated and felt strong feelings for and how when I started feeling what you describe here, I pushed away and left all the girls who ever loved me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guh, this is so good. It also shined a light on why I have issues - after being hurt often enough, I have a hard time maintaining that filter. I do see her objectively pretty often and the more that happens, the more the filter crumbles.
Spot on. And also, the one thing about her appearance that you felt was bit off, is now the one most loved parts. She is not like any other human, outside of realms of just beauty, there is no beauty or anything, she just is she and is the best thing in the universe. At times, for very brief moments, a second or two when that illusion goes away and you are just amazed of how she actually looks like (spoiler: not always that good..) and then, boom, suddenly it's back again and if possible, even better than before. It is really, really weird thing. If you want a temporary shortcut to this, take MDMA. It just won't last and is not real even in the moment but one may get a glimpse of what it is about.
NIN-pig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. This is on point. This shit happened to me last year with a friend's cousin and this is almost exactly how it all went down and how I felt. I'm fairly sure there was something there, but it didn't click until it was too late and she had moved on. I wish the process hadn't taken so long for me, but such is life I guess.
I start to find people more physically attractive when we get on well. It's weird like you look away for a moment then look back and it's like "Oh damn you just went from a six to an eight"
Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.
Yes, I still sometimes remember my first kiss with the girl I consider my first love, 7 years later
Gopshop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this would make a fantastic wedding speech, either as a groom or best man.
And then she leaves and you don't know what to do. You lose all will to live and no longer care about anything. You become a husk of your previous self. You try to stay away from her. When you have to see her all it brings you is immense pain. Not because you hate her but because she is still your everything and seeing her with someone else just cripples you all the way down to your soul. Death often feels like a lighter punishment but you have to move on and you try. It never gets easier but slowly you just become numb to the pain.
Yep. that one's a keeper and is in my saved tab as well now. I've never heard that explained so well - I 100% agree with it but have never put it into words even in my own head.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same. Women are just lowkey enjoying this post because a lot of us secretly believe that men can't possibly think of us as much as we think of them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's late, but I think I trust OP (and the people who've ever said they love me) to be as human as I am.
It may have. I had similar situation happen once. Except the guy wasn't just some asshole, it was a crazy old homeless guy. Pulled a shiv, on me in a parking lot and told me to give him my wallet.
I told him it was in my car and to wait a minute while I grabbed it, and he did. Then I hopped in my car and peeled out leaving him looking pretty perplexed in my rear view mirror.
It may have. I had a similar situation once where I heard a guy who said he was calling from Microsoft to upgrade my computer. I said wait one second as I put the phone down on the side, you should have heard the confused sounds coming down the phone whilst I took considerably more than a second to have a nice warm bath.
It may not have. I had a similar situation once where I tried to lay in bed all day and eat an entire jar of peanut butter but I ran out of piss bottles and had to leave the bed to pee
It may not have. I had a similar situation once where I was sitting on Paul Bearer's shoulders to get a better view of when in 1998 the Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcerโs table.
A few years back, was dining with my family in a nice-ish Mexican restaurant. There was a child no older than four, who completely ignored by the parents, would holler its monkey face off and run up and down the aisles. This kid was climbing on the bench and whooping, while the no-fuck-giving parents idly sipped their drinks and ignored it. This went on for far too long until this older gentleman finally loudly said, "Hey! Shut that kid up!"
It may have. I had a similar situation happen once, where I was sitting in a diner eating lunch with some friends when a customer slightly raised his voice at the cashier, who seemed to quickly accede to his demands and we continued eating as though nothing happened.
I have an eerily similar story except the homeless guy wanted my wig. I didnt have a wig nor was I wearing one. I told him to wait and he stabbed me in the arm and ran.
I had a similar experience when on vacation in Bulgaria, Slanchev Bryag (aka Sunny Beach, Very touristy party town on the coast). I was drunk and had to take a piss .I found myself a pretty dark alley with some nice bushes and started going at it. As I'm pissing two silhouettes come walking over and tell me "you can't do this in this neighbourhood. You have to pay us taxes" I tell them "of course just follow me because i don't have my wallet on me it's in this bar I was drinking at." They followed me almost back to the beach before realising they where idiots and I was just bringing them back to civilization where I assumed they wouldn't go through with the beating and robbery I was expecting. One of them tried to sweep me but I jumped over his foot and ran the fuck away. All in all a good night.
My friend was kidnapped by a bum and told him to drive north. At the border patrol check point my friend jumped out and the guy was arrested. bastard was supposed to just go and get some beer was gone like 2 hours.
msay145 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that is kinda sad, I believe if he was truly crazy he would not give two fucks about your shit then he could stab you and rob all the stuff in your car, it seems like he was just rock bottom and he tought it was the only way to get some cash, I feel bad for him but I'm glad he didn't hurt you.
It may have. I had a similar situation happen once. I was living in Los Angeles, in a rough part of town. It was about 10pm I was walking home from my friends job at an auto parts store and was almost at her apartment where I had been living with her. A guy starts walking with me I was young, didn't know how to shake him so he kept walking along side me. I got to the parking lot and he pulled out a knife, pushed it against my stomach. He said take me upstairs to your apartment. I told him to hold on, that I saw the light on in the apartment upstairs, that I had to check and see if my friends sister was in the apartment before I let him upstairs. He let me go, I calmly walked up the stairs then into the apartment. I'm sure he's still waiting in the parking lot for me to come downstairs, that was twenty five years ago.
I used to do this as a bouncer all the time. It's so easy. "You wanna go? Let's take it outside!" I raise my hand in an "after you" type motion, they walk outside and I pull the door shut and latch it. They'd go ape shit, but they'd do it outside while I smiled a big cheesy grin. It seriously even worked right after you were just trying to get them to leave.
"You need to leave."
"I'm not leaving. Make me."
"Go outside."
"Fuck you, I can take you."
"You wanna go? Ok, let's go. Outside."
"Alright!"
They walk outside. I shut the door and latch it. It was so easy to sucker these meatheads. I was always amazed that what I was saying would barely change. I'd say "go outside" and they'd say "no". But if I offered to fight them then said "go outside" they totally would. I wasn't even saying "let's fight", I was saying "you wanna go?" and they heard what they wanted to.
Suckers.
Japots ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how do you deal with other people wanting to come in?
[deleted] ยท 290 points ยท Posted at 17:15:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exit is an exit only with an entrance about 8 feet to the left and around a corner. It's all windows there, so we can see if anyone wants to come in and let them in whatever door the idiot's not at. Since we'd be the ones working the door too (taking IDs and money), throwing someone out would normally happen during a lull when we'd go out into the crowd to look for ne'er-do-wells or at the end of the night when it's mostly traffic out anyway. There are multiple exits and the obviousness of some asshole having a tantrum was usually enough to deter anyone from demanding to use that particular exit anyway. The tantrums never lasted very long anyway.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:50:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying use the dog method of "WANNA GO OUTSIDE?" to stop Meatheads
Goluxas ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's a tough guy? Who's the toughest guy? Want some fighties? Oh yeah you do. Let's get some fighties outside!
moobart ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:05:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bouncer I used to do this all the time.
When you tell a drunk idiot to leave they refuse but if you agree to a fight or tell them you want to talk outside because you can't hear them they will usually walk right out. Then you just close the door or tell him to get lost.
Most times they realized they have lost and just hang their head and walk away. Sometimes they bang on the door with their head until it shatters only to be beaten up by a group of bouncers then arrested. Either way it usually works.
I'm fairly certain they even did this in the movie Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze.
moobart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never watched roadhouse until after I stopped working security. It's a shame because I'm sure I could've learned a lot more from a legend like Swayze.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bouncer myself, I used that trick quite often. That or I'd pull the whole "it's too loud in here to talk, let's just go talk about it outside real quick and I'll let you back in". It's really not difficult to manipulate drunks.
As a resident of Brisbane and knowing the calibre of some in the Valley, I can attest to its authenticity
Shit-Skull, bless his rancid absolultely fucking everything, still pops up in various forms on public transport every now and again. It's been a while since I've seen anyone like him though, so that's great!
Similar situation, although I kinda was a the bus knight, but due to shitty London busses and red tape it didn't fucking work. Basically, I was on a business trip to London, the GF with me. We go out one night and I always prefer to use the busses so we actually get to see some London. We're heading back to the hotel a deranged Somalian, probably 6'2", actively chewing chat gets on the bus and starts acting really fucking weird. Staring at people, walking over and leaning in to single women etc. My gloves are off my hands, and resting on my knees as i'd been using my phone. As he stumbles down the isle he starts staring at my GF making her seriously uncomfortable and then he tries to grab one of me gloves. Instantly I push back and at this point people start leaving the bus. He's just standing there, but the chat seems to be kicking in hard and he's having trouble keeping balance with movement of the bus as and falls backwards a little and lands in to a group girls who scream. At this point, I tell my GF we're going downstairs (it was a double decker) and the guy follows. He's says something unintelligible along the lines of he wants to fight me. "sure, lets get off the bus". The driver by this point knows what's been going on upstairs (someone pushed the emergency button). I tell the driver to stop the bus "I can't until we're at a stop" so I say, "for fuck's sake, you know what's been going on?", "...but health and saftey etc", A few tense seconds but thankfully we pull up to a bus stop. The doors open, I gesture the guy to get off so we can get in to it, he stumbles off, and then I yell to the driver to close the doors, and after an excrutiating 15 seconds me blocking the door from the guy getting back on, the doors finally close. "let's go"" I yell to the driver. "er, sorry, I can't. I signalled to the depot that we had an incident so know we can't go anywhere and have to wait for a supervisor". Are you fucking kidding me. The chat'ed out somalian is trying to pry the doors open and get back on the bus, at which point he sees the "open door" button on the outside of the bus, presses it and the door starts to open. "What fuck driver! Close the fucking door" I yell at him. "Er, I can't, the outside button overrides my controls". FML. The Somali gets on the bus and is even more cracked out, lurches towards some other girls and one of the pepper sprays the bus. It does nothing to the Somali's zombie like chat adventure, instead tons of people are screming from the pepper spray and the bus driver can't open the doors as he locked them before, so the only door that works is the one by the Somali that he opened from the outside, I push past him, go outside and push the button on the other door so everyone can get out. Then I hear police sirens, and I'm thinking at last, some fucking justice (it's been about 30 mins since the debacle first started)....and the police just drive right on by. The Somali then get's off the bush and walks in to a hedge by the bus stop and lies down in it. Everyone gets off the bus, and I hail a cab and we're gone. So basically, like the Aussie story, but with a bunch of classic british procedural red tape, and some pepper spray to totally fuck up my good intentions. *By the way, the reason I'm referring to to him as a Somali as I grew up with a few, and I know some words and that's the language he was mumbling to himself.
Doesn't sound that unrealistic tbh. As much as I like a good browse of /r/thathappened, this is the kind of thing that I can see happening and one of the only possible situations I can imagine people on a bus actually clapping and cheering for.
Maybe, its Australian and I can tell you it sounds like a classic thing to happen on our public transport system. You see some weird shit sometimes. I don't know about the last part though.
frekc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:42:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it isn't r/thathappened -tier because it doesn't portray the narrator as the hero and its pretty reasonable to think that there are some dickbags that ride public transportation
Something similar happened with my friend who was a bartender. He cut off some drunky dude who challenged my friend to a fight. My friend being pretty confident having been a trained boxer who was also taught some dirty techniques agreed and said, "after you" and pointed toward the back door. The guy walked out and my friend locked the door. For whatever reason the guy didn't bother walking around the building to attempt round 2.
Uhhh, I'm not sure about that logic. I've imagined all kinds of things but that doesn't mean they happened... In fact, it's probably better that they didn't.
I live in Seattle and take the bus everyday, you'd be so surprised at how many people do nothing. Stand up for what's right. I've done it once and man it feels great.
This sounded like something that would happen where I'm from (Brisbane Australia) I check the location of the post and what do you know, Brisbane Australia. I'm fairly sure it's a true story as well, it sounds pretty accurate to me.
Agreed. Something that tipped me off was "Valley" combined with "bogan".
may_den ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a bus situation I had a few years ago.
It was a rainy day in Koreatown, LA and the bus was crowded. A guy sat next to me and tried to start some idle chatter with me, saying anyounghasaeo (Korean for hello), assuming I was Korean, saying he liked the shape of my eyes, asking me where I'm going, and generally being irritating even after I dismissed him. A man sitting a little ways off offered to swap seats with me, but that didn't seem be very effective. When I started to ignore the stream of remarks, he became visibly upset and began to raise his voice, asking me why I didn't like him, etc. It was awkward. When he started to become physically pushy, people started to stand up to stop him and tell him to can it.
The bus hasn't moved since he started getting shouty. After a slew of insults directed at the kindly folks around him, he decides to cut his losses and get off the bus. Satisfied, the bus driver shuts the door and drives away, and the guy shouts profanities at us as we depart. The tension dissipates and everyone gets back to their seats.
And that was when we found his wallet in his seat.
Guy notices probably around the same time we do and starts running after the bus, shouting even louder and punctuated with more f*ck you's. We hand off the wallet to the driver and we all have a merry laugh as she leaves the guy behind.
Lol, yeah, we had funding issues. The film funding body that backed us first got axed so we lost our budget, then we got picked up again later by their replacement, but it took a while.
Yeah, tell me about it, I tried making my first short film on a 500 dollar budget, I never realised how expensive film making is, do you have any other projects planned?
It's a great story, but damn the classic "we all clapped" at the end...
kciuq1 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:55:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody even got a %100$ bill. Confirmed fake.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen that before and/or something similar to it. Some crazy asshole had been drunkenly yelling in a residential neighborhood one night when me my dad and a couple of his friends were out walking. Crazy/drunk guy starts accusing us of trying to take his things and my dad just yelled at the top of his lungs something like "Shut the fuck up!" and people from a couple of the nearby apartment buildings cheered. I know it sounds far-fetched but I was there. I think dude had been going at it for awhile and they all just wanted him to knock it off.
Mate everything is fake, every emotion you've experienced is just your subconciousness drugging your ego to keep you loyal to the 3 things the human body is programmed for, survival, procreation and accumulation of power. Money or gold or anything else has no inherent value. There are no objective morals. Whether an awesome story is fake or not is the least of your worries.
I'm not saying this story didn't happen, but whether or not a story is real matters. If I told you the event of The Lord of the Rings happened in real life, you'd be like "Holy shit!". But if it's a fictional story it's more "Ok, that's cool I guess".
I stopped to fill my car up
The car felt good that dayย
I didn't know where I was goingย
But it felt good for a changeย
A five and a pocket full of silverย
I paid the lady no changeย
And then it started to piss downย
I started driving againย
And then I looked upย
And looked in the mirror behind meย
A man round forty in the back seatย
Must have stepped in when I was emptyย
So why's he sat there just waitingย
Likely to smash my face inย
He had a bag full of moneyย
He said 'just drive me away'ย
I didn't know where I was goingย
Yet it felt good to be strangeย
And still I look upย
And look in the mirror behind meย
Curiosity is overย
He stepped down from the carย
He pulled a gun from his jacketย
Said I was going to dieย
It gives me so much satisfactionย
To watch you beg and cryย
Well I just made up this storyย
To get your attention makes me smileย
I never looked up or lookedย
In the mirror behind me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about not playing Reddit Truth PoliceTM and just downvoting it, chief? You know the story's fake, so what? Do you complain about video games and movies because they're not $100% real?
Why would I downvote it? OP was contributing to the thread commendably. This is his favorite thing in his saved section. I was pointing out that it would fit in well in r/thathappened, so if you enjoy stories that $100% happened with people cheering at the end, you can go there and enjoy.
Wow, Imgur is as bad as photobucket nowadays. Gonna need to find a new host that actually lets you link directly to images. Can't even trust a URL that ends in ".png" anymore.
It's not gravity waves, just an immense and nigh unimaginable amount of energy in the form of photons and other high energy particles radiating outward through space via the electromagnetic field. Gravity waves wouldn't be created in an event such as this, at least to my understanding, and if they were they have little to no bearing on the propagation of the majority of energy we see input into the region around the star.
Edit (link with explanation for my misunderstanding): There are gravitational waves generated during a supernova since there is a lot of mass moving in an asymetrical way. However, the complexity of supernovae do not make modelling the resulting waves a simple or understandable task, so the depiction of the "shockwaves" in that gif are likely to just be artistic license.
Sounds most reasonable. All of the escaping matter from the star, all the matter that eventually creates the outer nebula, adds up to a really huge fucking amount, lots and lots of 0's. That's all the matter that is no longer considered a portion of this star's total gravity well, as it has reached escape velocity and is now racing outwards to the neighboring regions of space. Because it's all no longer part of the local gravity well itself, this huge shift causes a differing refraction of light around the star, almost immediately after the explosion occurs, with this difference propagating at the speed of light in all directions.
Not really. Because the change in mass distribution is more or less symmetric, no gravitational waves (gravity waves are different) are produced. That's in a simple model though, since they aren't perfectly symmetric they will produce some gravitational waves, but no where near the power that you would think from that much accelerating mass.
You make a big valid point here. If gravitational curvature is lost or gained in regards to the observer from the nebula because of escaping mass moving away center, it would be lost or gained in the mass that's on the opposite side, in a perfect simple model, in equal effect.
I would say that the waves shown in the video there were highly stylized, and would not even be visible for longer than a millionth of a nanosecond if anything, rather than the slow "drop in a pond" way it appears in the animation.
So what we would see, then, is any net gravitational differences occurring from any inconsistencies in the explosion's uniformity. If the explosion throws an amount of solar masses in one direction more than the opposite, then at that moment's observation we may be able to measure a difference in the lightwaves' paths due to minute gravitational lensing.
Tl;dr It wouldn't look the way it does in the video. Viewed by eye it wouldn't have any gravitational waves visible at all, since our eyes are not that precise. Probably would have to be measured with lasers or something. Gravitational waves would only be propagating from the vector of most mass expelled from the supernova.
A propos, I heard somewhere that you got shockwaves during the superinflation or whatever it was called of the early big bang as shit traveled faster than light. Sounds too cool to be true.
The immense amount of gas released by the star in the explosion and any nebular gas in the region is what we see illuminated and moving but it's not a shockwave as we understand it through air. It is instead the intense energy from the photon pressure generated in the explosion being absorbed and emitted and scattered and reabsorbed and reemitted through everything in a sphere around the star. Even if there were no gasses let off by the star prior to or during the supernova, the utterly immense amount of energy emitted through high energy photons (xrays, gamma rays, all kinds of rays) and other high energy particles would travel through space until they imparted their energy into something. That something could be a gas cloud a few lightyears away that begins glowing or a telescope a million lightyears away that gets a little tickle in its sensor.
Edit (link with explanation for my misunderstanding): There are gravitational waves generated during a supernova since there is a lot of mass moving in an asymetrical way. However, the complexity of supernovae do not make modelling the resulting waves a simple or understandable task, so the depiction of the "shockwaves" in that gif are likely to just be artistic license.
I had filtered out the "shockwave" effect that passed by the camera when I read the above comment because it really didn't make much sense to me with my understanding of supernova events, and I assumed it was put in because we're used to seeing similar effects in atmospheric explosions: the shockwave passes while the fireball is still unfurling in the background. As such I had the basic assumption it was artistic license and associated the term shockwave with the evolution of the gas plume that was the main focus of the video.
In reality, gravitational waves are generated during supernovae. However, we do not currently have any way to model them since supernovae are pretty wild events. While the shockwave may well have been intended to represent the passing of gravitational waves it is unlikely they'd be so symmetric, and not most likely not visible distortions to an observer since it's not refraction of light through a pressure front traveling at the speed of sound but instead the disturbance/distortion of spacetime at the speed of light.
jt004c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bending space bends light. you would see it just like this.
You and any incoming light bend with the space as well though, so that makes me unsure of what it'd actually look like. Plus the magnitude of the gravitational waves could be really small, relatively speaking, but we don't know how to predict supernova waves so we really have no idea.
jt004c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you wouldn't bend before the wave reaches you, so if you could somehow magically see it happening as it happened (e.g. light were instant), as is assumed in this GIF, then you'd expect to watch a shockwave warp space in front of you as it approached you.
And I agree, I think that magnitude wouldn't be anything close to this, in actuality, and it's certainly not clear they were intending to depict gravity waves in the first place.
Hey, maybe it already has, and the light is on its way to us now? It's a possibility, I know Betelgeuse is meant to go supernova very soon, at least on a galactic time scale.
klf0 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:13:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I need to say specifically that I wanted to see it happen? Because I want to see it happen.
Cornell University says: "The explosion of a supernova occurs in a star in a very short timespan of about 100 seconds. When a star undergoes a supernova explosion, it dies leaving behind a remnant: either a neutron star or a black hole."
The explosion itself may be short, but the entire event depleted here, explosion to shock wave settling down, likely lasts a very short time span in astronomical scale, probably a few/dozen decades.
Considering the brightness we see, the observation is likely made from at least a few hundred/thousand AU away. It took Crab Nebula a few years to became dim, another few centuries to settle the cloud.
Cornell University says: "The explosion of a supernova occurs in a star in a very short timespan of about 100 seconds. When a star undergoes a supernova explosion, it dies leaving behind a remnant: either a neutron star or a black hole."
Disclaimer: I'm not a theoretical physicist or even a physicist, though my area of study is under the Math umbrella. Feel free to correct me.
A common analogy for space-time is a piece of paper (worm-hole theory) or a stretchy fabric (gravitational orbits). In both cases, you're using two dimensions to visualize the three dimensions we live in. So, keep in mind, especially when visualizing gravity, an object makes a "sink" or "dent" in every possible direction from the center of mass. So the gravitational field (points in which acceleration would be felt in an object was there) is really a giant sphere of influence that loses strength at the square of the distance away.
Okay so these dents in space-time are just something mass does for an unknown reason currently. Anyway, these dents are actually more of an extension of the mass or object itself (Similar to touching atoms not really touching, they just can't overcome the force of electromagnetism at that distance to move closer, so there's a limit to how close they can get. Every instance of mass is an infinite sphere of influence. When you have a lot of mass in very close proximity. These sphere's are additive, so it's almost like a single stronger sphere.
Now back to the point. Light has to travel along space, which in 3D is kinda also through-ish, it doesn't really make sense for us since we can't visualize 4 dimensions. So in a 2D sense, light has to follow the dents in space too. The bigger the dent (more massive object) the more light was warped during it's travel. Extremely massive objects such as black holes bend light so much that it never really makes it out of the dent.
In the case of gravity waves these spheres are oscillating rapidly. Theoretically it can happen for spheres of any strength, but it is detectable through it's interference with light when the spheres are huge like two black holes. I'm not qualified at all to explain gravity waves though. You'll have to watch this which does a better job at all of what I wrote. I'll keep trying my best though.
In the gif posted before, the space between you and the stars in the distance is being distorted because of the large amounts of mass (spheres) being thrown apart from each other at insane speeds. which is like the opposite effect of a black hole merger, but both produce waves (like throwing a rock in a lake and pulling one out, both cause ripples in the water).
Would the Gravitational Wave Observatories be able to pick this up? Possibly. Would your own eyes? Probably not. The gif is an exaggeration.
How accurate is this? I was always annoyed at Alderan blowing up with a ring shockwave, since I figured it should be almost spherically symmetric. Now not so sure...
d9_m_5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:16:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in /r/Space a bit ago, apparently it's mostly artistic license. I'm not sure which parts are inaccurate though.
I don't care if it will kill me, I want to see that happen in real life. That would be one of the most beautiful things any human could ever experience.
This is Brigadier Kerla, speaking for the High Command. There has been an incident on Praxis. However everything is under control. We have no need for assistance. Obey treaty stipulations and remain outside the Neutral Zone. This transmission ends now.
blakey21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:33 on September 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how in the fuck do that get a picture of this shit i know i sounds stupid but someone enlighten me please!!!
I swear I'm not. First it was a gif. Then a dinosaur cloud. Now it's concept cars. I just want to know where the link is actually supposed to bring me.
Edit: It is now a shitty comic about some guy going off to war with a novelty helmet.
rocklou ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:02:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need to lay off the shrooms
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be the next "what comment chains have you saved?" thread.
Ya know the kind of laugh where your shoulders heave and you shake, and you can't make any sound but tears come out?
This did that to me.
HMCetc ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:05:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I've stopped laughing now, but there's still tears in my eyes. I'm a little physically tired now. God that was spectacular! Every stage from the cling film stage was just beautiful.
uptnogd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of laugh where everyone at work is looking at me trying to determine if I'm crying or laughing. It's both!
I read it once and giggled. I woke up my wife. I shared it with her and had a 5 minute laugh attack while reading it. Literally crying while trying to get through the last few pictures.
Thank you for sharing. I haven't laughed that hard in months.
You should totally do that for you wife. Wait just long enough it's not in the front of her mind (like, if she's got a fall birthday), Christmas at the latest.
First of all... Coconut oil mixed with tempered chocolate. Chill two half-egg-shaped-objects. Pour the chocolate over each and stick em in the freezer.
Honestly the best way to do this would be to pipe the chocolate on like those lattice doiley things and make like a giant chocolate egg shaped cage and then rest the note and present inside delicately. Again, make two halves and then connect them. That way she can see inside. And an egg is dumb just make it a sphere that sounds better. The kinder thing is lost at this point.
That was my first idea, but I feel like two egg-shaped halves that are then sealed around the toy will be more reliable. You can really layer it thicker too for structural support.
Shit like this is why I shouldn't browse reddit at work. No way to contain my laughter with this one and I'm in tears. This one is definitely my favorite!
Aioni ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't often genuinely laugh uncontrollably at things I see on the internet. Maybe once every few months.
This fucking link though. It made me keel over laughing. Thank you for sharing.
anonpf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:03:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks to this post, I now have co-workers wondering who the hell is in the third bathroom stall laughing like a hyena. I don't want to leave the stall.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I didn't think I would laugh this hard. I almost just skipped it at the beginning because I thought it would have been boring. Jesus I had tears in my eyes.
Just had my appendix out.. I don't think I was meant to laugh this hard, this close to abdominal surgery. That was the best fail I've seen in a long time.
I'm wheezing, but damn if that isn't still romantic as shit, especially this part: "Put a little note saying how much you love her blahblahblah." Need me a bf like this.
Step 2: Get a cheap large bucket and fill it with water, let it freeze for a few days.
Step 3: Take the frozen water bucket out of the freezer, and go to work carving out an egg shape.
Step 4. Heat up some chocolate, and start layering it over the ice egg while still in the freezer, make the layers thick, use different colours of chocolate to make it easier to cover.
Step 5: drill a hole into the bottom so that the ice is exposed, hold up the egg so that it can't tip over or break apart and leave it at room temperature to melt the water.
embynaj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For step 5, leave it in the FRIDGE to melt the water. The water will melt without worry about the chocolate accidentally melting or becoming too soft.
I just laughed so hard at work I couldn't breath. Finally got it under control and read "It is like I am literally giving her a reason to break up with me." and lost it again.
Now I have to show it to all my coworkers after that loud public display.
It happened to me, with a friend hi fiving me right in my eye, and I was wearing spectacles. To make matters worse she had three inch nails and she really ended up stabbing me in the eye. My specs went slightly wonky( a screw was loosened slightly) and she ripped up a lot of my eyelashes. I suffered a really ugly looking red eye for two days. She was a strange friend.
Ian Rapoport (the man doing the hitting) is my husband's cousin by marriage. I've never asked him about this, but I will definitely have to! He's such a great guy, so I'm sure he felt terrible about this, but it's also hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:31:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i cant find the words to tell you how much i hate his face. Its so punchable holy shit. Not just that but there's something specific about this mans attitude combined with his expressions combined with his actualy appearance that just makes him so hateable. God I hate his face so much. He looks exactly like the asshole little guy you'd have at school or something. Fuck
I feel that way about the guy at the baseball game that comes from no where to pointlessly help the player up, then knocks a lady's phone out of her hand and spills someone else beer. Gaaaaah I hate that guy.
I've heard good things about Canada as well, maybe there are some twat exchange programs we could take advantage of seeing as we both live in commonwealth nations.
Ahh, The great twat Exchange.. I Fell like there is a reddit switcheroo on the horizon, too lazy to find it tho lol.
Edit: Also, you are now tagged as Ausie TWAT
It's insane. It gets a biiit clearer for me when I take into account that it has a lot to do with everything above his waist being PERFECTLY still except for the arms, and head slightly leaned forward that adds to the whole WTF effect when he's moonwalking, but even with that into account, it's just sick.
sardu1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:56:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
see how his neck stretches forward though?
Excal2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:28:16 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The impressive part is that he's holding his torso completely still, only using the weight of his head and arms with a very limited range of motion as a mechanism for counterbalance.
He's balancing with unordinarily limited use of his center of gravity, which is a feat in and of itself. The magic comes from the complexity of his movement while maintaining this ungainly stance, and how absolutely effortless he is able to make it look.
You can also see a well done airwalk here leading into the moonwalk. It's the illusion of walking while remaining in place, which is a little more difficult to do. Guy was a natural there's no debate to that
The thing is, you've probably seen a hundred videos of dancers who are a LOT more skilled. Dancers doing utterly baffling moves. But none of them has the style of MJ. He was magical.
Or the energy, and while his most famous videos (Smooth Criminal, Thriller) have this fantastic crowd choreography, it's just them mimicking MJ. He's got enough energy on his own for just himself to be captivating. Check out the banned Panther dance.
dazeeem ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:31:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to add on to the other dudes comment, people were shocked by the 'aggressive sexual nature' of it; the part where he grabs his crotch and then zips up his pants was interpreted as masturbation.
This version of the video appears to be censored, but it had lots of provocative dancing on Michael's behalf and lots of graphic imagery, such as Nazi symbols and "nigger go home" spraypainted on things. Michael's destruction of property was supposed to symbolize his rage at the hatred that's consumed our country, but the media took it the wrong way and it spun out of control.
Ehkoe ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:14:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. The racial messages were digitally added after the outcry to give "meaning" to his acts of violence.
Jackson was on record saying that the destruction was meant to represent a panther's animalistic behavior.
Holy shit! I don't think I have ever seen a performance like this before. It's simultaneously dripping of primal sexuality while having very little in the way of graphic or gratuitous imagery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain to me why "primal sexuality" matters? In art and so on?
Everybody fucks. Sure it's fun and makes new people, but beyond that, why does it matter so much? Is it a guy thing?
I mean, it doesn't really matter any more than any other artistic expression. I would be equally impressed if I saw an equally skillful performance of someone using dance to convey a sense of soul crushing depression without using any unhappy facial expressions or sad music. My main source of awe stems from the skill and style exhibited, not necessarily the subject matter. Although, I guess you may be referring to prevalent sexuality is in music and dance. To that I would say that sexuality is a very core aspect of the human experience. It would be more surprising if it WASN'T so prevalent. Also, dance has always had its roots in sexuality. Throughout human history dance has always been a way to showcase physical health, stamina and agility. All very important things to consider in a potential sexual partner. And this goes for both men AND women.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember watching this when it aired!! it was a total WTF video at the time.
Mudrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember sitting in the living room with my parents and sister watching the premier of this video as it was a pretty big deal. Everyone was in an uproar afterwards about all the crotch grabbing and innuendo. I was just pumped the simpsons made an appearance.
I keep up with tons of different dancers and styles. I've followed MJ my entire life. What I've found is that most of the new funk style/pop dancers are reliant on special sounds in the songs to "highlight" their moves. Also, their moves are all kind of planned.
Don't get me wrong, there are some AMAZING dancers out there and I'd never take that away from them (being a dancer myself). However, Michael WAS the music. Outside of the choreographed sections Michael never repeated the same moves. I've watched 100's of his concerts and never does he perform the same setups. It's baffling and the magic is that he really was one with music.
This is something I think most audience members pick up subconsciously. They're aware that there is magic there but they can't grasp what it is. Michael isn't counting the beats or planning the steps. He's simply letting the music guide him. Dancers come and go. Great dancers are emulated. Michael, Michael was another level.
Even thought I love Mike'sโ dancing...I have to give credit to the original hardest performer...and Mike's friend/teacher James Brown. He danced his feet off and still could sing during. As much as I love Mike he had a hard time singing and dancing.
I think the explanation for that is because James Brown is using his feet. He's dancing a lot, but he seems like he's mostly using his feet and lower body. With training, you can still sing and move your feet quickly without messing up your pitch. Michael's choreography, on the other hand, is much more full-body. The Smooth Criminal routine, for example, uses every part of the body. It's very hard to keep pitch while doing that.
Both great performers, though.
5redrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has well developed trunk stability muscles (basically everything below your rib cage leading down to your knees). Even people who work out a lot often don't fully exercise these muscles. If those muscles are well exercised, movements like this are much easier (of course practice and natural coordination are also essential to look as good as MJ). Even if they're strong, you need to practice engaging the groups individually and stretching to keep those muscles limber enough to have the same range of motion.
If you do all that, you'll still not be MJ because you're probably not the 1 in however many thousand with his natural talent and even if you are, you haven't been a professional entertainer with dancing a part of your performance since you were a small child.
With the right exercise and practice, you could probably pull off a lot of his moves and look decent.
Crying is a cathartic release....so whenever emotions are high, it's a way to calm back down. At least, that's how it is for me...but I've never cried at a concert so don't take my word for it.
I had a friend that cried like that and I found it super strange. She said she would bring extra hoodies to sob into because they would get soaked? Like wtf haha. I cry at sad things, but music like that is not one of those things, crying is like last on my list because I'm usually so excited?
A girl on my Facebook said she was bawling like a baby because she finally got to see a dolphin in real life.. I was like, holy shit, chill. It's a dolphin.
TheHYPO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One thing I always though made MJ's moonwalk very effective is that on his first step, he would bring his front foot only back about halfway to meet his back foot before switching feet which would give the appearance that his front foot almost "kickstarted" the moonwalk. He also was extremely skilled at isolation in ensuring his upper body moved precisely backwards at a constant rate independent of his feet. This a whole separate skill to the footwork. Finally, he was really good at having the 'lifted' foot move dynamically not just keeping it frozen with the heel in the air - at times he would almost be on his toe on that raised foot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's counter intuitive to rest your weight on your toes and move the flat foot. It's basically the opposite of how you've practiced walking forever, so it feels weird to learn, even when you're doing it right.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:59:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its super super super super easy to do. Like really goddamn easy. Just make sure your shoe soles arent too grippy on your current floor. The slipperier the better.
It really is ridiculously simple and easy. Might be THE number one easiest thing you could possibly learn that could impress other people the most when you look at return of investment.
Abbbjk ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to make me feel like a dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What MJ did was take a simple technique and elevate it to the point of absolute mastery. You're looking at potentially hundreds of hours of practice doing one very easy thing over and over again until it appears effortless.
In a similar vein, one of my favorite magic tricks takes only one extremely easy move to do. The difference is that the magician spent literal months practicing just that one move until it's so subtle that you don't even notice it.
Voittaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The move is after they're mixed up when he's shuffling through them and getting Penn and Teller to pick a card. He's got the cards slightly fanned out in his hand, and all the cards in that fan are face-up. Underneath that fan is a card that he uses as a "divider." When he's riffling through them, he's actually sorting the cards on either side of that divider card - the face-up ones go on top and the face-down ones go on the bottom. The exception to this is Penn and Teller's cards. Had they put them back into the deck face up, it would have gone on the bottom, and had they put them in face down, they would have gone on top.
This sorts the cards into two piles in his hand, a face up pile and a face down pile. At around 4:05 in the video you can see him flip the face-down pile around in his hand, so now the deck is all facing one direction, except for Penn and Teller's cards which were sorted wrong, and are therefore face-down in the pile.
EDIT: I was explaining the trick from memory and not watching the video at the time. The "fan" I mentioned does not, in fact, contain only face-up cards for him, but the move is still the same. My explanation for how he does that that is pure black magic. Kostya Kimlat is a wizard.
joshi38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The basics are surprisingly simple to learn, you could probably do it after a short Youtube video, but it takes work to really perfect it to the level that MJ did it.
A big part of it to is loving your hands and arms to A) distract viewers from any clunkiness and B) to give the impression that you're pushing yourself backwards.
Yup, the fundamental footwork of most urban dance styles utilizes the heel-toe, where one leg is straight and rests on the heel when the other is bent and elevated on the toe.
Using what OP posted, you can glide backward, sideways, in a circle, etc.
The balance is tricky. During the push, when the rear foot is gliding, your entire weight is over you forward toe. The motion is easy. Hitting the balance and making it look smooth is a killer.
It's a misnomer popularized by the media. Kinda like how "breakdancing" is really "breaking" or "bboying."
What MJ did was the "back-glide" in popping, probably invented by people on the West Coast. The original moonwalk was a similar forward glide because that's what walking walking on the moon looked like in the moon landing video.
Aaaand now I'm practicing moon walking in the break room at work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how there is a comment about how men fall in love with a women, really sensitive and shit - and then there is a comment about how to moonwalk. Love the diversity of peoples saved posts.
The basics are simple, but there are some details to it that are needed to make it look really good and smooth. The first thing is having the right hardwood or smooth floor and smooth gliding shoes. This doesn't work as well in construction boots in the mud. Second is your balance and posture, print your weight on your toes is counter-intuitive while your other foot slides back. The other thing that is tough is standing upright while you're sliding, I notice I start to lean forward as I'm moving back. As it says on the bottom, transferring your weight seamlessly is a big key to this. Like anything, just takes practice.
Its based on where the weight is. Unless you get down that when you switch between the foot that is up, you need to switch all the weight onto that still foot. So that foot that is gliding back is completely unweighted and all your doing is manually smoothly gliding it back b/c it will weigh like nothing. And then you gotta pop the foot, and switch the weight again. Thats basically the gist of it, but yea it takes practice.
Joetato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck. Back in the 80s, when I was a kid and right after Thriller had been released (and MJ's popularity was gigantic), I remember seeing this thing on TV on how to do the Moonwalk. I taped it with my VCR and watched it over and over, trying to do a moonwalk.
they very specifically said put all your weight on the flat foot and move the lifted foot backwards. They told me to do it literally the exact opposite of the right way. I spent freaking HOURS using that method trying to moonwalk, and it always looked like complete ass, it looked horrible.
Imagine the satisfaction of having recorded that, not knowing what they were going to play and thinking, 'maybe it will be good, and I'll want to watch it again later'.
slockley ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 14:40:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of better. I was thinking, "how do they let a man dance off-beat in an orchestra? Isn't synchronicity the fundamental concept of a large music ensemble?" This one is a relief.
That's awesome. I feel like not enough people recognised that song or you'd be higher up in this thread. I feel slightly proud that I could pick up where the verses start even after all these years
esmifra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that evangelion?
estier2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gr33nss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this where that congratulations meme comes from? Looks like similar character styles there.
Namika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the congratulations thing is actually the closing scene of the show. If you listen carefully they even play the same theme song in the background (instrumental) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDajqW561KM
estier2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:30:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Evangelion something. The song is called "A Cruel Angel Thesis"
_Nerex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:12:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US Marine Corps Party Band does things like this. If you live in the states and they have a demonstration nearby, I definitely recommend seeing them.
IOFIFO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, can anyone tell me what that symbol is on the banner in the background? There's a dude at my gym who has the same symbol tattooed on his arm and I've always wondered what it was.
estier2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"LADY IT'S $7.50 AN HOUR NOT TO BEAT YOUR ASS. YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE WORTH THAT RIGHT NOW!?"
holy shitpotatoea I chose well!
Audiobro ยท 1725 points ยท Posted at 13:01:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store when I was young and heard something very similar. Guy behind be customer service counter yelled "I don't make enough to keep me on this side of the counter!" at this super bitchy woman, things got very heated after that. Lots of yelling back and forth while the whole store just stopped and watched.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:21:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got fired from my families Nathans for telling an old lady I'd punch her in the face if she spit at me. We rented space at a Wal-Mart and the district manager heard the half of the conversation where I threatened an old lady. He called my dad who owned it and told him his half of the story and that they needed to fire that employee or they'd break the lease. That was a bad day.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:48:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here: I got fired from Wal-Mart because I sucker punched an old crippled lady, with a poor baby on her arms, right in the throat for absolutely nothing.
Oh man. That sounds like when I got fired from Walmart for throwing some bitchy lady's kids at her. She was totally asking for it by annoying me. I think one of them died.
[deleted] ยท -213 points ยท Posted at 15:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. Keep the hootenanny at home among your own caste, plebs. Don't waste my time putting on an agonistic display like a silverback gorilla tearing up grass and kicking up dust over mating rights to a female. arrogantly lights fine cigar with burning $100
Johndrud ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 16:19:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! A lower caste disease. I can see you're quite familiar with it. One need not worry about such things when one has blue blood arrogantly downs dram of Glenfiddich Janet Sheed Roberts Reserve 1955
Ugh. Keep the hootenanny at home among your own caste, pleb. Don't waste my time putting on an antagonistic display like a silverback gorilla tearing up grass and kicking up dust over mating rights to a female.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:43:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, I had the decency to post an easily readable copypasta. This is just a hate crime.
i worked at a place with an open kitchen and a pizza counter for a year and half. on my last day, a woman asked if we had any gluten free pizza on the counter...which was covered in flour due to the open kitchen and also had 10-20 gluten full pizzas at any given time. i looked at her and said "listen if we had gluten free pizzas mixed with the normal pizzas they would cross contaminate and that would really defeat the whole purpose of "gluten free"...so no." she complained to my manager about my "tone". yes i was impolite, yes i got fired, no, i have no regrets
It almost makes me want to get a side job in retail/service industry and wait till I crack just so I can use that line.
Except it's not worth it.
And I'd blank when the appropriate time came and just twitch frantically to find the words and miss my opportunity.
And then cry in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love selling a restricted substance (beer) as a part time job. I don't need a reason to deny you a sale if you're a dick to me at my low paying part time job, but you smelled like alcohol and stumbled when you complained about the price, get out of my store before I call the cops. I get all my anger out civilly when those people come in. I don't owe you shit, I don't get paid commission, if you get in my face you can either apologize or you can drive across town to the other beer store.
I have a freckle on my penis. I understand it's relatively normal but it's not something I brag about.
The freckle lies smack-bang in the middle of my shaft. It is a dark brown colour, and it is mostly oval shaped. If you run your fingers over it (cute girls reading this, I highly recommend this activity, for science), then you wouldn't feel it. It is very much a part of my skin. In fact, it's like one tiny part of me, on the shaft of my penis, is brown. I wouldn't go as far to call me African-American, however, as I'm very much white and Australian, but, as a child, it did make me wonder...
Now, my older sister, let's call her Rebecca, is a twin, technically, but her twin died while it was still developing in the womb. So she's not really a twin. But, anyway, Rebecca has a mole on her neck. This mole, my mother used to say, was the undeveloped fetus. My childhood brain believed this to be the case, that, when people died, they'd attach their crumpled and tiny bodies onto other living beings as a slightly unsettling method of attaining immortality, and guide their living host through life. A little bit like a guardian angel.
My grandmother used to work with Indigenous Australians in remote communities in outback Australia. One day while at her house, she decided to go through her photo album. Most of these photos had three things in common - my grandmother, my grandfather, and a black man. I ask my grandmother who the black man is. "That's Robert, woodenial." "Well how come I've never seen Robert before?" "He's gone." "Gone where?" My grandmother paused for a moment. She wanted to say this delicately to a six year old. "He's dead." "Oh" "He died about the same time you were born." I asked my mother about this when I got home, she could confirm.
Now, let's cast our mind back to two paragraphs ago and recall the belief that dead people attached themselves to the living. With this belief in mind, we shall head back to my penis. We should head to the little brown spot on my penis, to be exact. I came to a sudden realisation that night in my bed when I got home. The brown freckle on my penis was a dead person. Robert was also a dead person, who happened to have dark skin. I put two and two together and came to the only logical conclusion: Robert is my phallus-bound guardian angel.
tl;dr a dead man, Robert, inhabits the shaft of my penis as my guardian angel.
It's more efficient that way anyway. Much better to have a single saved link that can index the other threads than trying to keep them all around individually.
NedryOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
premium features
WHAT FUCKING FEATURES????
I remember getting a pretty sweet discount on jerky a couple years ago on my first gild. other than that, i've been gilded 3 more times and literally don't even see any benefit from it.
no ads
adblock
reddit themes
mostly use mobile and actually prefer the original white theme. Otherwise there's RES dark mode, soooooo
snoovatar
stupid
new comment highlighting
I don't find this very useful, but some might
remember links
chrome does this automatically anyway
gold only subreddits
stupid
more comments per page
useless
saved post bullshit
i personally don't use saved posts but i imagine if you did and didn't have gold, there's easy ways to copy these
friends tagging
RES.
Seriously? What's the point? /r/all/gilded was pretty neat to look at a few years ago but like the rest of the reddit comments its become saturated with repetitive memes and random gilds for people spewing hate. So you got Themes, highlighting, and some saved post tagging and sorting, all of which you probably could set up some greasemonkey scripts for if you were really desperate for those features. I find gold entirely fucking useless.
Childhood misconceptions are the best, they are usually super funny in hindsight, like one of mine, in hindsight. I passionately loved every animal and bug I ever saw, and would occasionally come across roadkill or classmates squishing small critters and I was frequently inconsolable about the dead animals. So my parents really really played up how they all go to heaven when they die and heaven is amazing, and they aren't suffering anymore. Sounds fantastic to little me. A few months pass and some trivial thing goes wrong that I can't remember, like spilling food or not getting my way, so I think I'm suffering and I want to go to heaven where it's nice and I won't be sad. But luckily I was a stupid child, I was gonna swallow a rock and choke, but the first rock I tried wouldn't fit passed my teeth and my neighbor caught me and turned me into my parents. They were really anxious and it scared me, they told me god hates people who kill themselves, and I didn't want anyone to hate me so I didn't try that again. My innocent child brain almost made me a very sad statistic. I still think it's pretty funny though.
Huh, and here I was thinking I was the only one. I've always had a freckle right square in the middle of my mushroom tip. When I was a teen I was super self conscious about it, like some girl would turn me down if she saw it, thinking it was an std or something. I think only one maybe two girls have ever mentioned it, and only if I've been with that girl more than a couple times. Goes to show you what you might be self conscious about others could care less about.
Reading this was fucking weird, because I have one of those spots too. Brown, ovaloid, and smack-dab in the middle. I mean, I've never thought it was a dead person, but hey, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
I upvoted not because of the content nor anything of any significance to this story or life in general. I only upvoted your post because you had exactly 4999 upvotes and I had felt a primordial requirement to set that arbitrary number to its rightful place at 5000.
Since I'm Australian, I just can't listen to Ozzy Man Reviews. Obviously I don't notice the actual accent, so all I hear is some idiot going on and on about nothing in this weird, hysterical voice. If I actually met someone who was talking like this, I would think he was mentally ill or on drugs.
525days ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Totally read those captions in Ozzy's voice before I saw your comment.
Saelyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blacksmoke Billy on Youtube, but the subtitles are added on.
Yggdris ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:10:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh holy sweet fuck. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I saved this whole thread, but I've also saved this comment specifically.
I want a mod for that ramp truck. I remember a cheat on an old driver game that made it so your car didn't react when hitting another car, which let you plough through cars just like this without slowing down. So much fun.
A teenage boy and his girlfriend. They are happy and very in love, but tragedy strikes; the boy gets drunk at a party, drives home with her, gets in an accident, and she is killed. He feels horrible, naturally.
But the girl isn't gone; she returns to the world as a ghost, not willing to pass on and be without her love. Unfortunately, he can neither see or hear her. She can whisper things in his ear and be perceived subconsciously, move small objects when he isn't looking, but never make her presence really known.
For a while she is content to simply follow him around and comfort him as best she can. It even seems she may be having a positive effect; she is able to subtly influence him to quit drinking, clean up his act, and turn his life around. All seems well in a bittersweet way.
Things start to change as time passes. The boy gets older, the ghost does not. He starts to move past her death, no longer gazing longingly at the pictures of them together, not visiting her grave as much. While the ghost wants to see him happy, she is miserable that she is being forgotten, as she is unchanging and still feels love for him.
A few years pass, and the now young adult man starts dating other women. The ghost is upset and jealous. She starts to sabotage his dates, causing little accidents, using her ability to be subconsciously heard to make him say awkward things, basically being a bitch and ruining the young man's relationships.
Unable to find happiness, the young man begins to backslide. He starts drinking again, he gets in fights, he loses his job. His life is turning to shit. Ghost girl feels terrible...until one night the man takes too many sleeping pills and almost dies. A horrible plan occurs to her; if he commits suicide then he'll be dead too and they can finally be together.
She starts to egg him on to more and more self-destructive acts, whispering poisonous thoughts in his ear, trying to make him hate himself. He shuts out family and friends. He buys a gun and doesn't really know why. The girl hates to do this, but it's the only way...
Throughout the film, we've seen other people haunted by ghosts. At first this seems harmless; there's a man whose father still follows him and gives advice. A mother who lost her daughter, but the girl still walks around holding her hand. The spirit of a young boy's dog still romps behind him. These ghosts can see each other, and are the typical Pixar cast of quirky side characters.
At last the young man seems to hit rock bottom and is ready to end it all. Not wanting to watch her love die, the ghost departs to leave him to it. She heads to the park, and sees some of the other people with ghosts. But now she notices things she hasn't before. The ghostly father's advice, always critical, seems downright abusive, constantly berating his son for his failure and inadequacy, and the son looks miserable. The little girl's mother can't look at a child playing without tearing up. The ghost dog is gone, however, and the now older boy has a new pet and is happy. The girl realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
She rushes back to the man, who is moments away from shooting himself. She begs him not to go through with it, pleads and cries, but is unheard. Eventually she is just barely able to direct his attention to the neglected photos of them together as happy teenagers and he puts the gun down, picks up the phone, and calls a suicide hotline.
Man enters therapy, joins a group to quit drinking again, takes medication. It's long and hard but he makes it. The girl is happy, but she seems to be fading slowly as the months pass. She thinks she might be finally letting go and crossing over, her reward for having saved him. Eventually she departs with a smile.
Twist ending: there was no ghost. That was his guilt and depression personified. It was always his own subconscious, the part of him that hated and blamed himself for the girl's death. Sure, the guilt drove him to quit drinking once, but the fact that he couldn't move on drove him into ever deeper despair. All the people with "ghosts" are the same way, haunted by their pasts. Last shot is him walking down the street, content, but as we zoom out we see just how many of the people around him have ghosts, and how widespread the problem is.
Whoa, can't believe people remember this comment 3 years later.
Nice to know that people enjoyed it.
Edit: I wrote a follow up to suggest how you could handle the "reveal", which I might as well link. Should have just included it in the original, but I was new to reddit.
I knew where you were going with it right away. I have been in recovery from alcohol for over 13 years and I am actively engaged in working the steps with my sponsor again so that I can confront some of these "ghosts" head on. Also, my roommate just took two of my steak knives and slit her throat and died in her bathroom a couple weeks ago. Her spirit may have moved on, but her "ghost" is every where. I haven't wrote this out yet and only my AA sponsor and my therapist know this, but we were intimate on her last night. She was acting like she needed comfort and I really didn't know what to do. I held her and told her things were going to be alright. I knew she was struggling financially but that she would have a place to stay, that I wouldn't just kick her out on the street. I tried everything to get her to snap out of her funk that night. The only thing she seemed to want was sex. Lots and lots of sex and intimacy. She wouldn't stay in bed though. She kept going back to her room, or just walking around in a daze. I told her to come in and lay down with me and she did for a little while. When I woke up the next morning she was dead. It is weird because people that are supposedly closer to her than me like friends and family have all left me to deal with all of her stuff. Her part of the bills and rent are all mine. Her clothes, her furniture, I am the one who has to deal with it all. I don't really mind, but this experience has really opened my eyes to how people deal (or don't deal) with pain and loss. I am really glad that I am grounded in a program of recovery that teaches me how to walk through tragedy with dignity and grace and to be of service and value to others while also taking care of myself.
Holy shit, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You need help, don't try to do this alone, talk to someone and make a plan. No one should have to deal with this by themselves.
You are not responsible for her bills unless your name is also on them, so don't give them a second thought. For anything that you were together on, behind the bills there are real people who can make arrangements for payment plans, but they don't know that you need help until you tell them.
If you reach out to someone and they don't know what to do, tell them exactly what you need, if you don't know what you need, tell them that, youre lost and don't know what to do.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I wish there was more I could do. But if a total stranger from Reddit feels this way, I guarantee there's someone nearby who feels the same. Good luck, you can do this, one day at a time (one hour, minute, second), and remember this will get better.
Hey, me and some friends made a short film with a similar premise many years ago. Yours was... much better.
In a double-twist, in the sequel, it turned out not to be the boy's "Conscience" at all, but a daemon that went around making people's lives miserable because... umm... Daemon. It revolved around the friends of the boy (who actually did kill himself in ours) at and after his funeral, and the Depression Daemon had to face off against all the other Daemons influencing the other kids (Rage, Dependency, that kind of thing). We... did not make that sequel.
You need to write a script and send it somewhere. This is downright haunting. I remembered it all from the first couple lines.
Leijin_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you're ever motivated to write that into a short story/novel let me know x)
Dave_I ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When something resonates and has enough interesting stuff going on to make an impact (the twist at the end actually caught me off guard more than I would have expected), it tends to stick with me, and obviously with others as well. There are certain stories, movies, video games, books, songs, all sorts of things that I have experienced that I still remember, often revisit, and feel a very strong visceral reaction to upon remembering them.
So, nice job on it, and the last line ends on a pretty powerful note. Not necessarily a take action note, however one that invites us to take the moral of the story and be aware that a LOT of people have similar problems. I think that gives a story or prompt like this legs.
You might be interested to know that this is basically the plot for an upcoming horror movie that stars Troian Bellesario and Tom Felton. Maybe someone read your idea and actually DID make a movie out of it
EDIT: What would you think about this as a silent animated movie? Not silent silent as in no sound, but like just music and some sound effects (e.g. the car crashing, or a phone ringing). I have an image of this which isn't exactly Pixar movie style, but I think could still work (and at much less cost). I'd love to do it myself, but I don't have the skill (or the patience or even at this point in my life, the time).
AwSMO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, now I am depressed
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely loved this. It was one of the first things ive read on reddit and what got me hooked
JimSFV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar wouldn't do this, but someone should. Also, having a girl prompt her ex-boyfriend to commit suicide is a bit sensitive right now. You should write this script and send it to an up and coming animation studio.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the movie how would it be revealed that the ghost was his guilt and depression rather than a real entity?
That was incredibly impressive, even just as conceptual paragraphs.
Shawncb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just guns chime in and also say to make this a script and get it to some animation studios. You could be a great story writer. The best thing is, you don't have to be good at scripting. Other writers can help you clean it all up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're, like, famous dude
eonica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was hauntingly beautiful. So much so I dug up your original comment and it's become the first thing I've used the 'save' for. Thank you
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be the new Mary and Max!
If you haven't seen Mary and Max- I highly recommend it. It's a stop motion animated film which is both depressing and beautiful.
Is this idea at all inspired by 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'? I'm about a third of the way through the book I could see how a couple ideas could overlap.
Really good writing you did, hope you make more
MrMiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But would the twist ending make sense when we see the girls ghost alone in the park on a separate plot line? Why would he think of her as a ghost interacting with other peoples ghosts, or in that case, problems.
I think the story is much more compelling when you leave the supernatural element with the ghosts in it. Gives it much more character. Otherwise you would make the girls character arc obsolete.
MrMiste ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how? It's a similar thing with Bing Bong from Inside Out, for example. Yes, technically he is just in the girls head too, but he was real since the world he was created in was kept intact for the ending.
A twist to reveal that nothing of the events actually happened would rob the story of it's richness and metaphorical power.
I think the girl ghost story functions a lot better as the interaction of two characters, than a progression of a single person, since interaction is often times much more compelling and interesting than just having a single characters cope with his situation.
The message still wouldn't be lost. The girl returns to him to stop him, but he is reminded of lifes value when he sees her picture again. Both learn a lesson in this moment. Robbing the main character of the story of it's arc just seems wrong to me...
The story is still there though, it's real in our imaginations. I find that the twist just grounds the story into reality which is a huge selling point for me. Having it reveal that none of it was real doesn't detract from the storytelling that happened before for me, we would have gone through the entire story before the reveal so in the moment I would find that story interesting and then the reveal would leave me with something real to ponder instead of leaving up to "magic" or what have you which tbh feels like it cheapens the whole experience. If it truly was ghosts the whole time it just becomes a cute story for me, but it being figment of a depressed persons imagination makes it all the more real for me and truly depressing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if the ghosts are not real, doesn't that contradict the scene where:
She heads to the park, and sees some of the other people with ghosts. But now she notices things she hasn't before. The ghostly father's advice, always critical, seems downright abusive, constantly berating his son for his failure and inadequacy, and the son looks miserable. The little girl's mother can't look at a child playing without tearing up. The ghost dog is gone, however, and the now older boy has a new pet and is happy. The girl realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
If the ghosts are really just part of the people they're attached to, you might be able to work that into the guy realizing that other people have problems too/he's not alone, thus spurring him to get help?
Half the work is in the presentation and the bit that's sorta glossed over (seeing how people live with their ghosts) would be more than a short amount
Maybe not specifically Pixar I guess; but I feel like only an animated movie could pull off the story. Otherwise it would seem really stupid if done in live action. Also, it follows a lot of the same beats and themes as a typical Pixar film.
It's not just that it's a downer, it's that there are fucking guns and drug overdoses and suicide all throughout. There's no way it would be a Pixar film.
Still, it would make a beautiful film and I'd love for it to happen. Almost seems like it'd have to be a cartoon, with the quirky ghosts and everything, but I'm not sure what studio would make that.
Plenty of Pixar films have depressing elements and even story threads but are generally a bit more upbeat. To start of with a death, then have her pine after him before almost pushing him to suicide is way too dark for children's movies, especially when you have to get pretty graphic for some of those moments.
It sounds like it'd work better as a short film. Hell, it sounds perfect for the same Pixar artists that made this one!
But what "Pixar-like aspects" are evident in the story he wrote?
It's just a depressing story (not to denigrate the story itself), with nothing Pixar-like other than the fact that it'd obviously be animated. By that token, American Beauty or The Road could be Pixar films if they were just animated to look like them. But the reality is that an animated version of The Road wouldn't resemble a Pixar film in anyway, because Pixar films are characterised by a certain levity that simply couldn't exist in a post-apocalyptic film that features cannibalism, or a film about drink-driving, accidental death, depression and suicide.
Yes, and drunk driving, alcoholism, depression, and suicide aren't exactly appropriate topics for children--at least not in such an explicit way. How would you even cover those subjects without being somewhat graphic about it?
I think there's ways to implicate certain behaviors so that the adults understand but the kids don't. An example of this would be Mrs. Incredible thinking that Mr. Incredible was cheating on her. As a kid, I never even realized any of that was happening at all, but it was a key aspect in her character development and her part in going after Mr. Incredible.
It might not be possible to the extent of this film, but what the fuck ever, man, clearly we're not actually pitching it to Pixar
Umm I think the part with the gun and suicide is too much. It could've been deaths of familiars, broken hearts, stuff like that, but a girl trying to convince a guy to commit suicide by giving him bad thoughts is too much. What said, the story was pretty good.
It's not about them being depressing, it's about them being too shocking. I don't know if the death of a loved one by suicide would make me sadder, but it'll definitely scar me more. It's not necessarily most depressing, but it's certainly darker.
No you fucking walnut it's because it shows underage drinking, alcoholism, suicide, and abuse. Are you so fucking daft that you don't realize that thee is no fucking way that could ever pass for Pixar.
This isn't depressing enough for Pixar because it lacks contrast and juxtaposition. It lacks playfulness. It's good, but Pixar would not consider it, because they like to rip your heart out by connecting with your childhood innocence, and then nuking it from orbit.
Well, most of the movie can still be fun with the ghosts in the movie seeming more playful and comedic at first. Even the part where she's trying to get him to kill himself can seem funny in a really dark way.
[deleted] ยท 646 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LTman86 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next year at the Oscars... And the best animated film goes to...Dreamworks! For a real and enlightening look on bringing awareness to depression for all ages!
Cm0002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can see at the beginning that the short is made by Quorum Films. I'm not entirely sure but I believe they were allowed to use Pixar resources to make the short. The short itself isn't associated with Pixar in any other way though.
Oh that's possible but that'd still be pretty far off from considering it a "Pixar" thing, just because Disney probably likes to keep them relatively squeaky-clean image wise. Like those people working under Pixar probably don't make that short in Pixar's name.
Sure they didn't show any of the famine and war that was almost a given cause I doubt the whole 7,000,000,000 population of the earth was moved to the Axiom.
Yeah I can't see how this would be Pixar, other than because I can only imagine that being made well as an animation. Live action wouldn't have the same effect and I don't know many other studios that could make it as well as Pixar.
Have you seen the Disney animated short about a homeless little girl who hallucinates being happy with her family as she slowly freezes to death? It came out a couple of years ago and I believe that it's still on Netflix.
He never said it was a pixar film, the OP that quoted the comment did because it came from the thread "If Pixar had a downer movie what would be the plot?"
WOW, I read that whole thing. Would definitely pay for a movie. It's worse than Up. I was thinking the depression all the way through, but jfc. I wish it were the ghosts.
I'm pretty sure it would be worse if it were ghosts.
Edit: there are ways to help depression. If a ghost was following you around and you didn't know it, there wouldn't be a way to help that. I don't see why this is downvoted.
That is actually quite similar to the premise of the Babadook, a horror film, which uses a monster to represents a woman's depression after her losing her husband. To adults, the Babadook isn't visible, but the boy can physically see the monster that is trying to kill the mother; the depression eating away at her. Eventually the mother and son both learn that they cannot completely get rid of the Babadook and learn how to live with it in their basement.
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if it was me,
hanging from that tree.
How could it be?
Such a simple soliloquy
Entropy of the century
They wont mention me.
Pay attention listen to the lession
depression is part of my section
This is no confession but
A blessing from the devil
Swin down to my level
Mental insanity
Will I just wither away
Be left behind in yesterday
No nest to rest my head you see.
Contesting demons
Seeing who will be my friends.
Will it end?
What if it was you?
hanging from that tree
Open your eyes and see.
We are not fine
Hiding away like Frankenstein
Making sure no one sees the monster in our brain
How could one be sane?
For tears cant be seen in the rain.
Hmm. If it is the guy's story, why are we seeing his subconscious' (ghost's) POV? Not being too critical, just want clarification that if it's the guy's coping mechanism, why are we seeing it as if it has a "life" or "personality"?
Overall, a good story. I just have a feeling that if goes through a script submission process, this issue might be a red flag.
I think it works better without the subconscious angle.
Reminds me of this film "A Ghost Story" that's coming out. Probably not nearly as touching and "family friendly" as that vision, but definitely made me know I would cry if I saw the film.
I think thatโs already a movie based on what I can tell from the trailer with Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara called A Ghost Story. Still great comment. Read the whole thing. I think it would make me kill myself if I was 5 though
The ghosts though seem to have their own agendas and go about doing their own things separate from their host. So the idea of them being a subconscious entity doesn't really hold up
Sounds like the plot of "A Ghost Story" from A24. It's going to release later this summer, and god knows if the storyline matches up to OP's, but from watching the trailers this looks pretty close.
Another option for an ending: being a ghost is purgatory. Being good brings you to heaven, which is why the ghost dog was no longer there. Since the girl stopped him from suicide, she was deemed as good and got to leave purgatory and go to heaven.
lol no one's gonna see this but i had a super similar idea except seth rogen and james franco are best friends but james franco dies and turns into a ghost and they hang out. but then james franco gets jealous of seth's real friends and starts to haunt him
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
believe it or not, ive read all the replies.
Jibeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar? You misspelled "Tim Burton"
Dashu16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for crediting the original and the author and not just posting the content like so many of these other posts
alx34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This speaks to me on such an insane level. There is no doubt that, were this to become an actual film and I watched, I would absolutely break down and cry. This is powerful. Just wow.
There's a movie coming out next month called ghost story and similarly to this, it's from the point of view of the ghost. I think it's mainly about being forgotten, but the trailer doesn't reveal too much. You can check out it if you just look it up but the ghost in this movie is not as meddling I'm pretty sure.
It was nothing. The plot was nothing, leads went nowhere, nothing was resolved, it was just neat people doing neat things. By god I fucking loved it.
It didnt make any logical sense to me, why could I, someone with the attention span of a retarded puppy,
not only be entirely entranced by a plot that amounted to nothing when far more interesting works failed to capture my interest, but how could it make me so happy when I watched it. Not intrigued, interested, invested, or particularly excited for it. Just, comfy, and happy.
It is a mystery that eludes me, and I can't quite explain, but got damn do I love me some slice of life, even though it makes me the worst kind of fucking weeb.
Such is the slice of life genre. I personally am yet to find a show from it that can keep me interested, but it's got a pretty huge and dedicated fanbase of people with that exact sort of reaction.
I can't explain it and I dont think anyone can. You may never find a slice of life that you enjoy, every single one of them ever created might make you want to attack puppies with an ice pick. However, if you discover there is one you can tolerate, it's this strange kind of simple happiness I've only ever found in a few other places.
Now to commit suduko for being a giant fucking weeb, even though I haven't watched anime in months.
Zahke ยท 3089 points ยท Posted at 12:10:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So immature yet so true
Guitar46 ยท 1549 points ยท Posted at 12:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think this is extremely deep. Maybe immaturity written, yes. :)
ZioTron ยท 757 points ยท Posted at 12:52:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The more someone understands how the world and humans work, the more I find they tend to relinquish the schemas and boundaries of society, like PC, and tend to indulge in vulgarity to efficiently convey a message, do you understand, you little piece of shit?
Guitar46 ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 13:05:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do...you fucking asshole.
ZioTron ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:15:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and tend to indulge in vulgarity to efficiently convey a message, do you understand, you little piece of shit?
The ironic thing here is that adding that bit at the end wasn't efficient. The message could have been more efficiently communicated without it and just saying "do you understand?"
ZioTron ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:35:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you are correct sir, that was merely a joke, nice find!
I think this is true of the PC words like "fuck, shit, bitch". They're arbitrarily vulgar and mean nothing especially in the context of, "Oh fuck, I'm late for work!" If that insults you fuck off.
When talking about slurs against any group I think it's the opposite.
I think it can be reasonably assumed OP was not talking about racial/cultural slurs. I also personally don't have any issue with the occasional "Your argument is stupid" thrown in there as long as you're also making an actual counterpoint as well (i.e. not just using "your argument is stupid" as your entire counter). But yes, I agree, trying to argue against someone by calling them the N-word is very unlikely to just be someone wise to the world, and far more likely to just be a racist prick.
28Hz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to listen to what people are saying, rather than getting offended over the words they're using.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rmphys ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't agree with the above user, wisdom leading to impropriety does no imply impropriety leads to wisdom.
aahrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though you're joking, this is actually sort of true. I used to try to be super nice when talking to people who, for example, deny specific scientific facts to maintain their world-view, as I saw it as the best way to sway them, but over the years I've come to realize I'm never going to sway them, debates are for the audience, and I have no issues calling bullshit bullshit when I smell it. That's not to say you shouldn't still make a coherent point, but the number of people that will try to invalidate your entire argument because you used a curse word is pretty funny, and I think it actually goes to show the impotence of their own arguments as well when the best counter they can come up with is "You called my argument stupid, ad hominem, I win!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm at the point in life where I accepted that truth is subjective and I just do my best to find the common ground. If there isn't any, maybe I could learn something valuable. Maybe I could even teach something valuable. I like to keep it simple, it seems to work out better that way in my experience.
Well, truth is subjective insofar as we are all limited by our perception, but when the overwhelming preponderance of evidence points towards something (like, for example, evolution or a spherical Earth), and when qualified parties can all independently verify that evidence and then talk to each other about that, then you can make reasonable inferences about the nature of reality, or, as some might put it, objective truth, and even if your inferences aren't 100% accurate, that's okay, because you still have a reasonable facsimile of reality built into your model. And the more qualified parties that independently confirm this evidence, the closer your model comes to accurately representing reality.
In short, while I sort of agree that truth is subjective, I think it's really important that we define what we mean by "truth" and qualify that statement by saying that it doesn't, in fact, mean that any bozo off the street can decide that the world actually spins atop a large metal pole, somewhat akin to a plate spinning on a stick, and have that become, at some level, true. You can believe something as hard as you want, but that doesn't make it true. It might be true for you, and you could indeed make the argument that that makes it "subjectively true," but in that case you're just using the term "subjectively true" to mean "a belief."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but my point is say a person believes the earth is flat. That is their truth. Your truth is that the earth is round. There are two truths, one that is more accurate and one that is not. That doesn't change the fact that they are both just beliefs. Those beliefs are founded upon differing values. Some people are very open minded to a fault (people who will believe anything). Some people are analytical to a fault as well (people who struggle to think outside of the box). Those people could learn something useful from eachother, obective knowledge aside.
It might be true for you, and you could indeed make the argument that that makes it "subjectively true," but in that case you're just using the term "subjectively true" to mean "a belief."
It's a pointless term because you're just using it to mean a different thing that already has a word for it. Truth, as most would define it, has to do with the nature of reality. In essence, truth can be said to be that which conforms to reality. Ergo, a "subjective truth" that the Earth is flat is not, as it were, a truth.
Lol this is meant to point out people being super arrogant or condescending. It isn't meant to be an anti-intellectual attack on anyone trying to conceptualize something or make an observation using big words.
Kinda. He's saying that we are able to take care of our own sexual desires to some extent, but we can never fill our own need for emotional support and companionship. That simply has to be found in other people.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 12:46:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not extremely deep, no. I didn't put much thought into that comment... I was just doing some early morning commenting and didn't expect it to get almost 500 upvotes.
I feel sorry for you if you can only think of negative things to say. :)
[deleted] ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 15:07:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only to idiots like you. The vast majority of my posts are positive contributions ๐๐
Sorry to burst your bubble but you're kinda being a rude cunt rn over something laughably trivial.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now youre involving youself in something laugably trivial ๐. The whole conversation is laughably trivial. Me being a cunt is trivial, him being a butthurt baby is trivial, why do you even care?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BECAUSE THAT'S MY SON!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to tell you this ma'am, but your son has been diagnosed with being a little bitch. Ill leave you two alone to discuss your options
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I really don't. I'm just waiting for work to start in a few hours an am killing some time. You're right though this is trivial. Hope you gain a more positive attitude in your dealings with others, have a nice day!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For context, Diogenes was a philosopher who had been exiled, so he lived on the streets in a big jar and got up to all sorts of wacky shenanigans.
On the indecency of him masturbating in public he would say, "If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly."
I challenge you to find one story about Diogenes that isn't zany and interesting -- giving Plato a plucked chicken, peeing on people he didn't like, being sold into slavery and requesting a job as the master, smashing his only bowl because he realized he could drink out of his hands, not one but two sick disses on Alexander the Great, etc.
mivi12 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:25:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be on the front page of r/me_irl within a week
Still one of the most glorious things I've seen in reddit
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:57:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait WHAT?
you made me double check. Ten months? I would've bet my life that its at least two years old. What the hell?? In fact i feel like i've known this little story for at least 4 years already.
Used to work for an ISP and on every other call need to ask "what colour is the lights" it was quite often that people would say I'm not a computer person, not good with computers etc. Come on I just want to know a colour, quite a few of these people would get aggressive too.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sadly, really a large amount of people are unimaginably stupid. Not gonna try and estimate ratios, but i know the actual amount globally is scary high.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked tech support for about year for a Satellite TV company, and then internet service on top of that.
The people that would call in were so fucking stupid. I think its a general rule that people that call in are not the brightest already, smart people can figure out their problems on their own. My opinion on a lot of these people assume that you can read their god damn minds, you know exactly what you want and that asking questions is like you're just trolling them. Having them troubleshoot? Good luck getting middle aged baby boomer woman to even look at a cable, or touch the input button on her remote. One day to get a technician out? You're the biggest piece of shit on the planet, what is this, your first job ever? What do you mean I have to clean the snow off my dish myself? its at shoulder height, but I should have to do it. I want my TV, I don't want a solution!
Whats worse, is people have been taught that as a customer, they have a right to be angry. At least in American. Now, I'm a dude that is still coping with anger issues after quitting nicotine almost a year ago, but I will NEVER take my anger out on anyone over the phone or in person, unless they are some kind of bully. I was fucking livid this weekend at my Internet company, and I still talked to that Filipino women on the other end of the phone like she was my grandma, because no one deserves that.
So you get these people that assume you know what they want, they think its alright to yell at people, and they have no qualms just telling you to fix it. It is never okay to treat a service person like that, and you're not entitled to act that way because you pay a 100 bucks to watch shitty reality TV.
I used to work at a Verizon, and would get people like this all the time. One lady even got angry at me for NOT knowing her iTunes password.
BagelCo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The depressing thing is that sounds just like my dad. Gets frustrated and directs his anger at the closest victim, even if it's the person trying to help.
"How do I email this?"
"Are you sure they don't want a PDF of that?" (it was a notepad file being sent for a job application)
"I don't need bullshit right now just tell me how to send this file"
Brb, gonna go read that whole thread and rage the rest of my way through work
Derrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so real except for the part where they hang up. Instead they will insist on remaining on the phone while angrily refusing any attempts you make to solve their issue.
my girlfriend does that same kind of thing and it infuriates me to no end. I hate when people's excuse for not knowing something is "I'm not good at that stuff." just go learn it takes like 10 minutes and you use it every day
edit: i still love her, she just also does dumb things but so do we all
This reminds me of this one time my friend was really drunk. He swings his arms up in the sky in half punch, half chopping motions and yells "I'll fight you, you blue fuck!" And I say "dude, it is night it isn't blue right now" and he looks at me like I just said three stupidest thing ever and says "well, I can't say black, now can I?"
Got one, definitely not the brightest dog breed going.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:58:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're not dumb, I don't think, but they are so fucking neurotic. They seem to all come with quirks.
The breeder we got ours from said hers blew bubbles. They would stick their faces in the water bowl and just blow bubbles. Not drinking. Just bubbles.
Mine sang. I was learning to play the fiddle and suddenly he just started howling along. He would only do it to accompany music at first, but it didn't take very long to teach him to sing on cue. He never harmonized well, but he did his best. It was kind of annoying sometimes, but mostly endearing. He was a badass.
acog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit I never wanted to meet one because they look pretty super intimidating. Then when a family member was petsitting I got to meet one and it really changed my attitude. Yeah, she had that fearsome look but she was super sweet and loved people.
What kind of reactions do you get when you take your dog on a walk? I gotta admit I'd be a little concerned that the dog would intimidate people.
I have one, and my mom got him one of these collars so when I'm walking him people change to the other side of the sidewalk and sometimes say mean things like you shouldn't be walking that type of dog around. He's such a well behaved boy the only thing is he still believes he's a puppy which he isn't which is kinda funny because when we come back from walkies I sit at my desk and climbs up to sit on top of me and he doesn't quite fit! I love him he's such a goofball.
Yea, I used to work in a pet boarding place and we got one in once. At first I was nervous about her, as she was large and intimidating, but I soon learned she was just a goofball that acted like a puppy. Great dogs
People's perceptions of dogs are set for sure. I have a Boston Terrier who is not friendly (we're working on it) but I have the opposite problem--people try to approach us all the time. We're constantly telling people she's not friendly, or we'll change directions (I've had someone yell me at me for doing this, apparently she thought she wasn't good enough to pet my dog?).
I'm always taking my girl to the dog park and walks through the city. Some people act a little weird but I feel they would act the same for any large breed dog. As you have learned it really isn't hard to see their lovable side. They are teddy bears ALOT of work but I wouldn't trade my doberbutt for the world
I don't know what it is exactly, but something about the traffic lights and way the whole road was designed told me this was Ontario, and then I looked at the plate and realized the font and colour and letters were 100% from Ontario.
Wait they are mormon?? I've only ever seen their Scott Sterling sketches and I think 1 other one that was Batman v Superman in a Peoples Court type thing. Never got the gist they were mormon.
Glad you enjoyed it. If you liked it just go to Youtube and look up Scott Sterling. Both the soccer one and the volleyball one are hilarious and even better with audio.
the askreddit thread with the question "you and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, you die if the snail touches you. it aways knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you, what's your plan?"
edit: sorry for forgetting to put the link, it was like, 1am when i posted this.
First things first - That million dollars is practically worthless compared to immortality. Ever dime of that cash can and should be spent ensuring that the snail never, ever reaches me.
First things first, I keep an eye on him. It's tempting to want to hop on a plane or a train and get as far away as possible. But once I do that, he's gone and I'll never see him again until 3am on July 14th, 2072, when the sneaky little cuss slips in the door and slimes onto me before I ever wake up and notice him No, I'm going to be within visual distance of the snail, slowly moving away from it, until Snail Containment Plan Part A is done.
Next I grab my phone. I call up someone I can trust with my life, and tell them to come to my location within the hour, and to bring a metal cash box, a good padlock, and a firearm. Once they arrive, I inform them of the deal and ask them to grab the snail, shove it into the metal box, and lock it up.
Once the snail is temporarily secured, I ask my friend to carry around the box, never letting it out of their sight, and to prevent its opening with as much force as is required. We arrive at some reasonable figure for this service - Maybe $50,000.
Now we can start in on the real work. I'm on the phone again, contracting with a tungsten machining service out of Willowbrook, IL. I ask them to construct for me a hollow tungsten sphere with a small, sealable opening, ideally via both exterior bolts and sintering. I ask them for a rush job and a thick wall depth, perhaps as much as a foot thick. The spherical shape should keep material costs as low as possible for a given thickness, but between the unusual object, large amount of tungsten, and speedy delivery, I invest a truly insane amount into this project - Let's say $100,000. I ask them to deliver it to my current location as fast as possible.
Once the tungsten ball arrives, I have my friend stand well away from me and transfer the snail into the center of the sphere. I ask them to pour a little salt down into the hole after it, just to give the snail a little reminder of who he's dealing with. Once snail and salt are both inside, we seal the hollow sphere with the bolts.
Tungsten is an amazing material. Incredibly tough, dense, and heat-resistant. You could drop it into molten lava and it wouldn't matter. Which, coincidentally, is almost what I'd like to do next.
Now we make sure that damn thing stays shut. I find the nearest metal refinery and call them up. I also contract with a heavy machinery moving company to move the tungsten sphere to the refinery. Once the refinery has sintered the tungsten sphere shut, I buy an entire industrial crucible (those big buckets) of molten iron. And the crucible the iron came in. I have them drop the tungsten sphere into the molten iron, and let the whole mass cool in place. Mr. Snaily snail ain't going anywhere, but I'm probably down another $100,000.
Now I'm on the phone to specialist movers. Chartering a boat. We're taking this thing halfway around the word. We take the boat right over the marianas trench - Not the deepest point, but deep enough - We push the whole assembly over the side. Literal tons of once-molten iron, refinery crucible, tungsten, salt, and snail slip over the side and begin dropping into the briny deep. Another $100,000 gone, but well worth the cost.
Good. That's bought me a little breathing room. But we're not anywhere close to done yet. I still have at least $500,000 left. I'm going to invest it into solid business ventures and slow growing but secure assets. We're building a fortune - And who cares if it takes a few centuries? I'm frickin' immortal baby!
But as I develop my fortune, it's getting invested into space. SpaceX, asteroid mining projects, whatever. I am trapped on the one planet in the entire universe where I can actually die, and I have no intention of staying there.
Over the millennia, I slowly apply my fortune and influence to push mankind to the stars. And the moment living on another planet becomes viable, I'm there. And the instant a habitable planet is around another star? I'm on the first generation ship heading that direction.
But I can't think in such a short sighted manner now. I'm immortal, and I need to think like it. Eventually, the sun is going to burn the earth to a crisp, and then that damn snail is going to be free. It might take him a few million years to land on something, but he'll do it eventually. And then he will construct a spacecraft and begin crawling towards me again.
What I care about now is lightcones and black holes. Earth's gotta go. Sorry whatever's left of humanity. We evacuate anyone still on the old planet, and use a gravity tractor to push Earth into a black hole. A nice, big one so that hawking radiation will take an incredibly long time to evaporate it away into nothing.
And then I board a ship. A fast ship. I accelerate to as close to lightspeed as I can get, piloting directly away from the black hole with the snail inside. I want to be so far away and moving so quickly that the heat death of the universe would occur far, far before the snail ever reaches me, even on the fastest ship his freakishly clever little brain can construct.
So that's the way the universe ends. With nothing it in except for infrared heat, one hyperintelligent snail suspended in an inky void, and one human screaming away from it at .99C.
On top of that, if the snail is so smart, why can't it be reasoned with? It is sentient after all, and I'm sure the snail doesn't want to be thrown into a black hole...
[deleted] ยท 4707 points ยท Posted at 14:23:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So all you gotta do is come to a deal and shake on it, right?
To me this is the most interesting part of the though exercise; do you treat the snail humanely? Our gut animal level instinct would be to do whatever necessary to protect ourself regardless of the impact to others, especially if it only hurts a creature that is usually not intelligent like a snail.
However the snail is an intelligent life form in this scenario so mistreating it is cruel and doing something like imprisoning it in a box is torture. Add to this that as an immortal any confinement or distress could last forever and hence be viewed as exponentially more evil than if you did this to a random person for the rest of their lives - at least non-immortals have hope to escape in the form of death.
Yes, the snail is your only weakness but why would the snail want to harm you? Unless it has reason to believe you might imprison/torture it most likely it simply won't care about you beyond perhaps an emotional bond as you're both immortal. In fact you would be the only person the snail could at all trust. Imprisonment and scientific experiments is guaranteed should it become discovered prior to somehow orchestrating a 100% fool proof plan of defense against this, which considering it's a snail is unlikely to ever be fool proof regardless of it's intelligence. Whereas I am the least likely to want to exploit it for monetary, scientific, or other personal gain as I will desperately want to avoid people discovering my immortality as long as possible. Basically if you are a compassionate person being allies with the snail is the only real option for either of you. Plus keep in mind that snails are not predatory, territorial, or aggressive in any way so the likelihood of intelligence suddenly making it evil seems low as they would have to learn the behavior.
In my mind the only likely serious risk here is not the snail wanting to kill you - it's someone using the snail as a murder weapon against you. It becomes the trope of the invincible enemy who can only be killed by a mythical ancient weapon the hero must go on a quest to procure.
Of course this is assuming you and the snail know each is immortal and that it's touch is your only weakness but nobody else does (at the beginning).
The biggest flaw in all this is that we (humans) can't separate our emotions from our decision making. Much of why we are cruel, kind, or indifferent to others is illogical. The snail, by contrast, has zero emotions (assuming snails don't already) and will run on solely instinct and logic. Instinct will make it want to eat, hide, mate, stay moist, stay in a comfortable temperature range, and mate. It's newly gained will primarily be applied to achieving those instinctual drives without compassion or remorse. If you have something it needs to achieve any of those instinctual needs it would not hesitate to kill or torture anyone to achieve those needs; which essentially makes it evil.
I think the snail must have emotion, since it has a brain capable of it, and otherwise the snail would be no different than a super intelligent AI, and that's not what we're dealing with. That being said, this snail emotion should be of a different nature than human emotion though. So maybe we treat the snail not humanely, but "snailey", so to speak, as any other snails with its intelligence would treat it.
With its high intelligence, the snail should know, eventually, that somebody will want to use it against us as well, even though we ourselves may want nothing to do with it. He may be immortal, but his freedom can still be severely hindered, given the fact that its snail physicality is its weakness. Keeping track of the entire human population is definitely a much more difficult task than keeping track of us alone. So its best course of action would probably still have something to do with us, either killing us first or coming to some form of agreement.
So in the spirit of self preservation, as well as behaving civilly, the best thing we can do is to have a discussion with the snail on how to keep each other safe. It may be super intelligent, but it cannot know everything, so a talk between the two is necessary. How can a snail and a human talk to each other you ask? The genie who came up with this eternal game and granted both us and the snail immortality seems like someone who can talk to both snail and human, he can work as our translator just fine.
acog ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:45:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a nice thought, but you and I both know that snails are devious little creatures and can't be trusted.
Yes, but can you ever truly trust a snail? Keep in mind all that intelligence wrapped up in such a pathetic body may make the snail want to end things sooner than later no matter the cost.
Not necessarily. It's super intelligent so if it were to use its immortality to build itself a body it could design it to ease its suffering and build it to signal pleasure in the snail's brain.
It's a superintelligent alien mind whose sole line item in its utility function is to ensure your death. If you think any kind of interaction between this snail and the outside world is going to end with you still alive, you might need to ask the folks over at /r/notparanoidenough for some lessons in pessimism.
You have an eternity of compound interest. $500K is plenty to start with and if the snail takes you up on it, you'll never have to worry about it ever again.
Also you could probably take the snails million. What is a snail gonna do with money? Now you have $2 million. And at least put the poor guy in a inescapable terrarium or some shit with other snail buddies
Its a sentient snail and you're the only way to end the hell that is its life. There is nothing you can offer it that makes up for being a thinking, feeling immortal living tongue in a shell.
Led_Hed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, and understand! That snail is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!
GemJack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never tried reasoning with a snail. They're damn ruthless.
Also, just because it's smart doesn't mean it's not still a snail. It's impossible for it to make it out of a run of the mill 50 dollar safe. Just put it in there and invest your $999,950 wisely.
D-Speak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, does it lose its immortality and hyper-intelligence upon touching me? Doesn't seem like a good deal for either of us...
Yep. That's a huge loophole in this thought experiment.
It says "super intelligent snail."
What does that mean? Does that mean it's smart compared to other snails (so still pretty dumb)? Does it mean it's as smart as a human? Does it mean it's smarter than the most advanced AI humans could possibly create? What?
The universe is a dark forest, filled with hunters, all seeking each other and fighting to survive. You and the snail have no way to trust each other because you have no way to know what the other is truly thinking, and the possibility of extermination is there.
That it's super intelligent doesn't mean it wants to be reasoned with, or even are able to. Yes, it will understand the pleas, threats, and bargains from this guy here, but we still don't know anything about its motive.
Helmic ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 14:40:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah man, surviving heat death is a major problem. As smart as that presumably malevolent snail is, it can't communicate. Having it tossed into a reasonably sized metal ball that you secretly keep with you at all times means it isn't likely to be opened without your consent. Since it's with you, you don't risk losing it and accidentally surviving eternity. Dying early because the snail found a way out sucks, sure, but floating in space alone sucks way more.
Floating in space alone for eternity. Not like end of the universe eternity but even when space and time are no longer things you would still be there. Where there is I have no idea but that sounds absolutely horrifying. I think I'd keep the snail in an accessible location, absurdly secured but still accessible for when the universe becomes so inhospitable I will want to leave it.
chemdot ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 15:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, imagine if your ship gets destroyed somehow and you are flung into space with nothing but the tungsten sphere to keep you company. Exposed to endless torture with your only means of escape sealed within a prison of your own making, and with nothing but your teeth and nails to work your way through.
I recently just watched all of the River Song episodes. The entire story line is amazing.
chemdot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the third/fourth person on the internet (and the first on reddit so far) to recommend that I watch Dr Who. Thing is, that's supposedly a Season 9 episode (if the other commenter is right), and I have a mental problem with sequence-breaking in any series for fear of spoilers...
I might just end up marathoning the whole show at some point. When I do, I will let you know how I liked that episode :P
It's a self contained episode, you don't need to know a single thing about doctor who to enjoy it. "dude with some experience with time travel just lost a loved one and is transported to a weird location" is all you need to know to get all out of it. Funny, you'll probably be the fourth person I nagged into watching it, all of them never watched a single episode of the show before. They all enjoyed it immensely and had their minds blown at the ending. Just a fucking A episode.
e: also almost no spoilers or references to other episodes either
chemdot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that! I might just go look it up after all as long as it is self-contained... :D
Totally off-topic stuff below.
Your comment about having nagged four other people besides me would have been pretty disconcerting if you hadn't gone on to describe how they enjoyed the ending. For all we know, you could have been repeatedly nagging the same person on four different social networks, hehe.
We could still make that plot work though. I could be some dude with repeated bouts of amnesia. I keep getting the same show recommended to me since I keep jocularly mentioning plot lines that I vaguely remember, and I keep rewatching the entire Dr Who series, forgetting most of the stuff about it, rinse and repeat.
Your comment about having nagged four other people besides me would have been pretty disconcerting if you hadn't gone on to describe how they enjoyed the ending. For all we know, you could have been repeatedly nagging the same person on four different social networks, hehe.
Haha, nah, they were people IRL. The episode is somewhat akin to Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, keeping you in the dark and quite confused until the last moment, where all the pieces fall together and you experience that exhilarating feeling of "getting it". Sadly, it's not something most people would bother to watch until the very end ("what is this unconnected bullshit, I'm out") unless somebody really insisted the ending is worth it. Seeing two people go from "meh" to "huh, I wonder what's going on" to, and I quote, "holy shit, holy fuck, Jesus christ, wow" was a rare pleasure lol
We could still make that plot work though. I could be some dude with repeated bouts of amnesia. I keep getting the same show recommended to me since I keep jocularly mentioning plot lines that I vaguely remember, and I keep rewatching the entire Dr Who series, forgetting most of the stuff about it, rinse and repeat.
We'll call it "Who's Dr Who?"
So 50 first dates, but I'm a online stalker forcing you to watch shit?
nice
chemdot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
That's another one I need to get to. Thanks for essentially dictating my post-exam schedule for me.
Helmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having not watched Dr. Who myself, I've had it described to me as great movie ideas turned into standalone TV episodes. Lots of self contained plots loosely tied together by the Doctor.
Problem: after the heat death of the universe, eventually even protons will evaporate. The tungsten cage might as well be made of tissue paper, in the long term.
IF you are immortal can't you stop the heat death of the universe? If you can't die of starvation that means you don't need food for energy. You can use the free energy your body generates to shove matter back into lower entropy states stalling the heat death of the universe.
This sounds like a great film idea. A super mysterious billionaire becomes obsessed with a mining operation into the Mariana trench, to recover an unknown object of great value. Everyone gets excited, not knowing whats down there. Then some dodgy Russian Gangsters get there first, and rumours start circling about a new super weapon, possibly alien.
Meanwhile the Russians are trying to figure out wtf is up with this snail. It appears to be immortal, totally unharmable and always trying to move in one direction. After a science filled montage, they manage to find a way to communicate. They decide to build a mind controllable robot for the snail, in return for a promise; the secret of immortality.
Mr Billionaire meanwhile discovers someone has taken the snail and becomes paranoid, deciding he no longer wants to die. He devotes all his efforts into tracking the snail down, whilst getting a spaceship ready for a one-way trip.
After some minor side plot developments, we get to see a showdown of the Robot snail vs the military power of Mr Billionaire. There's lots of michael bay moments, epic scenes, new york gets destroyed, again, but in the end the Billionaire wins, catching the snail in a simple cardboard box.
Final scene sees the rocket being prepared, with the snail about to be loaded. The countdown begins, but at the last second the billionaires granddaughter runs out and hugs the snail/box, asking to keep it as a pet. The emotional music starts up, as the Immortal man has a change of heart. The granddaughter keeps the snail as a pet, until one day, many years later her grandpa asks to hold it. After saying something deep and meaningful about life, he closes his eyes for a final time, with the snail resting peacefully on his chest.
As life expectancy goes up so does the likelihood of becoming permanently trapped in some way (earthquake, 127 hours, or something) so an immortal is virtually guaranteed to become permanently trapped at some point. Keeping the snail locked up and on your person is a good idea. Also, as long as the snail is just smart and immortal and has no other powers it's easy enough to keep it locked up.
I could see OP's story ending with him begging for death's kind escape after being alone for a few billion years. He would be left searching for the snail for ever damned to be left living in a void of nothingness. Sounds terrible.
That was exactly my thought. And just have someone stick a GPS on it and let it go. I'm sure with all the unimaginable cash hoarded over a long period of time, you could easily just find a more humane solution to the problem while keeping the snail always accessible.
esaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this guy makes it sound like anybody can invest and build a business. I'm a pretty experienced entrepreneur and my company doesn't OK but even now I sometimes lose a lot of money on ideas I think are good at the time. This guy could easily blow the remaining $500k and be broke for eternity. Having the snail around to end it all is probably a good idea if you screw up bad enough and just want to end it all.
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just put the snail in a hamster ball (newly built one out strong material) that you are the only on that unlock. He can always roll around and move but is never touching you, with a GPS tag.
If you want to get him away from you then shoot his ass into space.
This was always my thought. I mean I've been on this planet for what, 18 years, and I'm already sick of a lot of it. Eternity? Nope. A couple hundred years would do me just fine.
Yeah. Keep it in an insanely secured box filled with salt (to prevent it from trying anything). Then bury said box in a location no-one (or very few people, ICE) gets to know about. And buy that land. You don't want some farmer accidentaly digging up and freeing the one thing that is guaranteed to kill you.
Anyway, the key to the puzzle is to lock the snail up first thing instead of losing track of it. It's insane intelligence gives it a huge advantage if it gets the chance to utilize it.
Right? Why the hell would you want to be alive in this universe AFTER heat death?? That's insane. What's the point? The only way I would want to still be alive is if I could hop to another universe. Otherwise I'd much rather be dead
Read the Tide Lords series. The first book starts with an immortal dealing with the after effects of a suicide attempt. His neck painfully reconstructing itself while he lays there paralyzed until his spinal cord knits back together.
We seem to be forgetting that immortal doesn't necessarily mean invincible! Why not get your friend to step on the snail rather than keep it in solitary confinement for millions of years?
madsci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a super-intelligent snail, nothing says that it's inherently evil or means you any arm - it's just apparently compelled to move toward you. Imprisoning a thinking being for an eternity sounds cruel.
Why not establish communication with the snail first? Find out what it wants, and whether you can come to some kind of understanding. Maybe he doesn't want to keep crawling toward you and you can work something out that benefits both of you.
Also, you're totally right about making sure the snail is always accessible. You're going to want a way out eventually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd feel so bad keeping an immortal, intelligent snail locked up forever. :( I'd build him a kickass thing and let him hang out.
I'd at least keep track of where in the Marianas Trench the block of iron was dropped. Why send the entire Earth into a black hole when you can just send a relatively small lump of metal?
Ezl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be very easy to determine if it is a decoy snail or not. Just walk around it. If it continues to follow you (like it is required to at all times), then you know it is the real snail. If it doesn't then its just a normal snail.
Yeah, I mean if this snail is smart enough for OP to worry about it building a ship, he could easily create decoy versions of himself with, say, a century or two.
Ok, new plan: pay your buddy or some merceneries to guard you for like 2 weeks. All the snails that come near you are caught in a cage. The real snail is required to follow you, so he must get there sooner or later. Then burn all the snails you caught. The decoy snails will all die, but the real one will be alive.
Good way to find the real snail, but there is no telling how long it will take to get to you. Both of you are immortal. Time is no longer the on the same scale as your buddy or anything for that matter.
Ok, you invest your money to get more money. You hire a lifetime bodyguard to follow you around until you catch the real one. It might cost you 100k it might cost you a million, maybe 5 million, depending on how long it takes the snail to reach you. But I think it'd be easy to find someone to do the job for like 6k a month. Hell that's only 72k a year. With your investments in the stock market, you'll have earned more than that in a year. And the job is easy, hell I would take it for 6k a month.
Edit: In my mind, the snail can't rest. He always walks towards you. He might even invent some kind of snail bike to go faster. Or hop on a car to the aorplane and hop on a plane to you. But he doesn't stop. So it won't take him more than 5 years to get to you (if he walks all the way.) Now I'm interested how long it would take a snail to get from the farthest point from you to take you. Like he's on the opposite part of the earth.
Oh now you're done for. The hyperintelligent snail would obviously just pay the mercenaries off using the vast fortune it quickly generated through a few small but sound investments.
Hire a friend to step on any snail nearby - only one isn't going to get crushed instantly
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:26:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snails now come equipped with a deadly poisoned barb under their shell. Your friend died frothing at the mouth while slowly, surely a lone snail trods towards you with a singular purpose.
I feel like the requirement it be constantly moving toward you works against the idea that it's super intelligent. Surely, if it was super intelligent, it would move in a more random fashion to throw you off the scent.
A super intelligent snail may not even be that intelligent by human standards. The hypothetical doesn't specify.
If the snail is super intelligent by human standards, then it would probably make a deal with the human to keep the good situation going. Think about it, they could both travel the world together and be buds forever.
Well that is out of his control, no matter how smart he is, it is engraved into his brain that he must kill this person and he can never stop. It is his only purpose.
Definitely. I think without that part it's a boring question because of the whole idea of just reasoning with the snail. The problem is that it's worded as if it's constantly moving toward you. Saying it always wants to kill you would be better, because then it allows for the possibility that the snail may not always be moving, thereby making it more difficult to identify it. Is that snail chilling on the wall just any snail or is it the murderous snail? Who knows, because it's smart enough to stop moving when you're looking at it.
The snail isn't required to follow you 100% of the time, or at all for that matter. It simply knows where you are at all times. And if it is super smart, then why not reason with it? What good does it killing you do?
If it continues to follow you (like it is required to at all times)
You're on a globe, there are millions of directions it could crawl 'towards you'.
For example just imagine you're both on on opposite sides of the globe, any direction the snail moves in is towards you and therefore, the opposite of every direction the snail moves is STILL TOWARDS YOU.
A superintelligent snail would OBVIOUSLY know this and use this to its advantage to trick you into thinking it wasn't the real one.
Yeah, that thread was mildly interesting except for the part where it was an excuse for OP to insist that the snail always got around whatever plans anyone had.
Nah, reminds me of the annoying kids in gradeschool that would ask you similar hypothetical questions and refuse to admit that you'd ever found an "answer."
I get that the guy who originally made that thread was trying to be funny, but that was such a bullshit cop-out. How could the snail convince other snails to work with it? The rules specify that only the deadly snail is smart, and snails have no hands. So unless this snail managed to change the evolution of his brethren through sheer force of will alone, then decoy snails are total bullshit.
I was jerking off because the post above this one was porn but now I just was jerking off to a story about trapping a snail and the death of the universe.
dirkson ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a big deal. I'm actually just happy someone mentioned my name - I like seeing where this stupid story I bullshitted out over an hour or two ends up. So far it's the most widely shared thing I've written!
That's because it's fucking ridiculous and damn funny. I remember laughing out loud at work when you first posted it. You should get used to seeing your name pop up in random threads, it will go down in Reddit history.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dirkson ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:35:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! And thanks!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what if your friend just throws the snail at you so he gets all the money
The year is 2217. Humanity has killed itself with global warming and pollution. A small community remains.
Time and time again, they have been saved by a mysterious figure, dubbed "the angel" by the community. It seems to travel around the edges of the community, bringing gifts of technology, books and ancient canned food.
/ubucket4life has long been wishing for death, but need human civilization to return, in order to get the diving and machining gear to bring back the snail.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:41 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed really hard at this comment, but since he's immortal, couldn't he just tie weights to himself and sink to the bottom of the trench, then slowly but surely cut into the crucible with hand tools until he reaches the snail?
Even if it took 200 years of slowly hammering away underwater with a mallet and chisel, it would be a lot faster than trying to single-handedly rebuild human civilization back to the point where it develops SCUBA gear and machining tools.
Plot twist:
the black hole was a worm hole (or snail hole, if you prefer) that throws the snail back in time hundreds of years before this arrangement occurs. The snail invests his money wisely and becomes a multibillionaire before the deal occurs.
The snail adopts a child and pays a man and a women to raise this boy and pretend to be his parents. The snail secretly trains this boy in sleight of hand and tells the boy that he will inherit the snail's entire fortune if he performs one simple task: at a certain age, he will be offered a modest sum (around $50,000) to put a snail in a cash box, then subsequently in a tungsten ball.
During the transfer to the tungsten ball, the boy is to switch out the first snail with a second snail and smuggle the first snail out of the house, dropping the snail off at a secret location. It is at this location, the snail will start out his journey - the journey to the end of the giant Rube Goldberg machine/sequence that will ultimately lead the boy's friend to board a fast spaceship, one that will contain the snail, sitting on the captain's chair armrest that the boy's friend will rest his hand on as they fly away from a black hole.
It seems like you could skip the 'throw the planet into a singularity' bit, and jump straight to light speed travel. It doesn't seem as if it would matter much once you've got that. Build a large generational ship with all the amenities you could possibily ask for, and start traveling it will probably be millenia before the snail escapes. Which means you'll be many thousands of light years away from him when that happens.
I'd also be tempted to trying to find a bore hole rather than dropping him in an ocean. The bore hole will be harder to find, less accessible when you do, easy to seal, and less susceptible to escape due to weathering.
dirkson ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:05:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
skip crucial steps
See, this is why, in the year 127 trillion, you're going to suffer a horrible surprise.
The last stars will have long since burnt out. But our little friend the snail has been working the entire time. It only took a few million years for rust, erosion, and general entropy to wear down his prison. He was released on a fine summer's day, although it took him a few years to actually crawl up out of the trench. Then he set to work.
Humanity had died off, but the snail was able to affect the course of evolution on some nearby animals in order to push them towards intelligence. He carefully guides their civilization, and they see him as a living god - Why wouldn't they? He's immortal and hyperintelligent. And when God says he wants a starship? You build a starship.
And our little slimy friend is much, much smarter than us, and he's able to figure out a trick or two that we weren't. Our ship is screaming along at 0.99C, and has a several million year head start. But his can go 0.991C, and he sets off in our direction as quickly as his technology will allow.
Thus he creeps up on us for the next few trillion years with his 0.001C speed differential, snail-like in his patience. You'll see him gaining on you, fantastically blueshifted and travelling crazily fast, a mere few weeks before he arrives. You've made a mistake, and after 127 trillion years of uninterrupted life, you will die within the next two months. The thought fills you with cold dread.
You see, no matter what you do, you're still within the light cone of the snail. If has has access to matter, his hyperintelligent brain will come up with a way to exploit it to reach you. In order to win, you have to make sure that there is no matter near him when he finally escapes. Thus the black hole.
I think we're overdue for a role reversal. If you're the snail, what would your plan be? How would you deal with the average person, and what would you do to thwart your own plan?
PS: Have you ever read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? You'd probably enjoy it.
dirkson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:29 on August 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the snail want to kill you? What does it gain for this? If it's intelligent it should be reasonable as well. Surely you can come to an agreement so there isn't a surprise one day. Maybe meet up every year or decade to catch up. Surely an immortal would want someone to live out eternity with. Nothing more lonely than watching the universe die without you anyone to keep you company.
Wait this is the best rated answer? Id just put the snail on a treadmill going the exact same speed its going (but in the opposite direction its going, therefore he'll probably never move more than a few inches). and hook it up to solar power and a back up generator. Use the rest of the money to lock him up in an airtight ceramic box.
Pay some guy to check back every so often, and keep on with life.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:21:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hyper intelligence doesnt let it move past the ability of a snail though. Its like saying if you put Stephen Hawking on the same rotational treadmill and told him to roll around to get off, he most likely wouldnt be able to due to the limitation of his bodily functions.
Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. Iโll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then Iโll put that flea in a box, and then Iโll put that box inside of another box, and then Iโll mail that box to myself, and when it arrivesโฆIโll smash it with a hammer! Itโs brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! โฆOr, to save on postage, Iโll just poison him with this.
What was the need for your friend to bring the firearm?
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah but there's your problem. True immortality would be torture. After the eventually heat death of the universe its just you, and nothing -
forever. I'm all for locking that bad boy away for a few billion years but eventually, eventually... after all other humans die and you're huddled on some cold distant star somehwere, he'll be the only thing you have left. You'll come to look at him as a friend. And lonely day, when you realize how truly, utterly tired you are, you'll bust open that Tungsten cage and see his gloopy little hate- filled body, and you'll smile.
But what does the snail do with its 1 million dollars? You paid your friend $50,000 to trap it. What if the snail paid your friend a whole million to instead of put it in the box, to throw it on you. Game over buddy...
I actually feel really bad for snail. You assured your survival but poor snail will suffer an eternity for that. And its not like this snail choose to be involved. I think I gona start some cult or something so my grand grand children can actually free the snail and help her get you!
Other than that - ur plan sounds solid. I like it. When u create next one make sure u keep it a secret, or u'll just help snail, me and my followers kill u!
This all assumes I was with the snail at the time of the deal and I know it is this snail. If not, if I don't know which snail it is, I wouldn't take the deal. Not worth the loss of peace of mind.
Far too elaborate in my opinion. I was with him until the sphere, but that's where I disagree. I would seal the snail, the platform it was on, and the gloves my friend used to handle it, in titanium sphere, cover it in a thin ( like 0.1mm) layer of gold, followed by 1mm of graphite, and then a few more mm of titanium. This is for easy inspection of damage and corrosion, which there should be none of. I keep this sphere in my home. In a fireproof case so if the building burns down, it doesn't draw the suspicion of firefighters. Nobody knows of this sphere, so nobody looks for it. The case is inside a wall, hidden using plaster or any appropriate material to make the hidden compartment indistinguishable from normal wall. This is in case of break in. Only my best friend knows of the deal, along with the wives I may have over my infinite lifetime. My friend will die eventually, and he fully understands and believes the gravity of the situation. My wife, I explain it to her and she will think I'm crazy. I make sure she doesn't tell anyone. "But honey, is it really that important?" Yes. But maybe it's not. Even if there's some doubt in your mind, can you just not tell because it's irrationally important to me? Even if I'd never find out, even if you're 110% sure nothing will come of it, I'm sure I could cheat on you with the same conditions, but I won't. It is of the same level of importance to me. You may think I'm testing you. Even if I was, why would you want to fail the test?
That probably settles it for the remainder of human civilisation. After everyone else is gone, I won't want to live anymore, so then I slowly start to crack open the sphere and finally die. If at some point it became a challenge, and not just to maximise the enjoyment I get of my life, then the original black hole method is good.
Honestly, if you have the ability to tow Earth somewhere, then there's no need to destroy the entire planet, you could just dredge up the snail block and throw that into a black hole.
This is great and all, but two big errors. One, you need the snail somewhere accessible in case you want to commit suicide. Believe me, you may not want to now or 50 years from now, but you never know. Second: you want a camera wherever you're keeping the snail. To live with security and peace of mind you need to know where that thing is at all times. That means not sealing it away without keeping an eye on it.
But.... What if you end up living a life of misery and pain and actually, legitimately want to die at some point?
The premise is that you are immortal, not that you are fit for any adverse conditions you may find, on Earth or otherwise.
ereldar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great plan! Well thought out. But what if you eventually want to die?
The snail is super intelligent though. Let's say he got as much time as you to prepare. He's got his snail friends with him, maneuvering giant robots with snail drivers etc. U r fukd.
The only problem with the plan is that 99.9999999999999% of your immortality will be spent alone in the universe with nothing around you just floating in dark cold empty space, until, hopefully, everything comes crashing back to one single point to start over again where you meet the snail.
And here i am building a little rotating park so that little guy can get some enjoyment out of eternity and not spend it walking into a wall it cant climb
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a load of crap. Spend most of the money on hookers and blow and spend the rest foolishly. When the money runs out, touch the snail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually, the sun is going to burn the earth to a crisp, and then that damn snail is going to be free.
Someone views living through the heat death of the universe as a positive outcome? I would encase the snail in clear plastic/glass/transparent aluminum and keep him in a known location under surveillance for when I want my immortality to end.
That would make a great cartoon movie. I would totally watch
Raichu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You want to be stuck escaping from a snail for all of eternity? I'd just put it in a container it can't get out of but that I could open if I ever decided I wanted to die.
karnok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ask them to pour a little salt down into the hole after it, just to give the snail a little reminder of who he's dealing with.
Lmao!
eSDLoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it but what if your space ship miscalculates or malfunctions. Then you'll just be cruising through space with no destination in site. Hoping to crash into an asteroid if you're lucky or anything to distract you from the eons you've spent floating aimlessly through space. By then you will have gone mad for sure. Mad for the rest of time. At that point you will have wished you would have kept the snail in the box to release you from the hell you've created for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend could screw you over once he has the box, to get the whole million. Too risky to tell him the story.
You are making the big assumption that you start within sight of the snail and thus have the upper hand. What if you don't? You also totally forgot that the snail also has a million dollars. While you're messing around with nonsense like vaults and safes, the snail has used his million dollars to hire a very professional hitman to shoot out your kneecaps and bring you to him.
That's a little bit different. The whole thing in that movie was that the entity following the current target would also move down the line to the next person on the list that the current victim had sex with.
Plus there was no million dollars and the entity that brought death to the target was not intelligent.
All true. But a slow creeping death that moves in a straight line toward your position reminds me a lot of that movie. Could be two people had a similar thought around the same time... but I'd like to ask these roosterteeth fellows if they've seen that movie.
Well, no. It's really not a copy of that. The MDB Reddit thread was an exact ripoff of Roosterteeth. What you're saying was a copy really isn't, it only has one small thing I common. I'm sure somebody at Roosterteeth has seen that movie, but Gavin Free alone came up with the snail thing.
I was unaware that the main antagonist in 'It Follows' was a fucking snail.
efbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found the whole concept of they movie laughable. There surely was a better way to deal with the STD (sexually transmitted demon) than whatever they did in the end (did they get together and it just ended up swapping between them?) Surely getting far away and then getting a prostitute would have been the easiest way to deal with it?
I remember watching the movie with some friends at uni and we all agreed it was terrible but then a few months later seeing it made out to be this great thing on Reddit. It was really confusing.
You know what makes me sad. Everyone kept coming up with ways to box the snail in or kill it or trap it. It never says the snail HAS to kill you, and if it's super intelligent enough to understand me, then I'd sit down at a safe distance with the snail, talk to it and let it know that while I could be an asshole and box it up, I'd rather spend my money investing in giving it the best snail life possible. I mean, it wouldn't even cost that much. Snail is happy, I'm happy.
Dave_I ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that makes sense. Come to some mutually beneficial compromise. Besides, it's super-intelligent and if we're both immortal. I do not want to curse some super-intelligent being to an eternity of being imprisoned. Beyond that, everybody else we know will die and it will just be us. That seems lonely. Finally, and this has been brought up, if it ever comes time where this existence becomes something you want to shed but cannot (remember, eternity is a long time), maybe that is perhaps an option to keep close at hand.
trovt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:59:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes those were my thoughts exactly...
Are we all just the eternal dream of a hyper-intelligent snail imprisoned in a tungsten sphere on the ocean floor?
Dave_I ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we all just the eternal dream of a hyper-intelligent snail imprisoned in a tungsten sphere on the ocean floor?
That is kind of a haunting thought. Or what if the snail is really a part of us and by imprisoning it and running away, we can never truly be whole? Because in a cosmic sense, we are all united as children of the universe (or multiverse, if you will).
Or what if said hyper-intelligent snail develops psionic powers and ends up being like the Cthulhu haunting us within its dreams until it drives us mad, or develops the ability to bend reality (or space-and-time) creating some nightmare scenario of our own creation?
Regardless, it is interesting that our first instinct is often to conquer the snail (or "snail", if you will) rather than make friends with it. That is rather telling, and probably says something about is that can be generalized to anything that might pose a threat to us, and which might also prove to be a valuable ally or even friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:43 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like your idea, and I would want to be kind to the snail, but what happens if he gets tired of life before I do?
We both die if we touch each other, so we're now the Roadrunner and the Coyote for however long it takes until I get fed up and decide to either trap him or accept death.
Dave_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:45 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose there are no certainties in life, even as immortals. So that is a risk you might take. If this is a super-intelligent being, perhaps work out some mutually beneficial plan. If you cannot, or you feel you cannot trust said snail, perhaps work on a Plan B. If you gain evidence the snail is trying to kill you, then that falls into the realm of self-defense.
However, barring that, two things occur to me.
First, do we know that the snail dies if he touches you, or just you die?
Second, it seems a super-intelligent entity and a reasonably intelligent human can perhaps come to some agreement AND ways to make life worth living. It also seems to me that it becomes a moral quandary. Are you willing to screw over another sentient intelligent being for immortality, or are you willing to come to a compromise for the good of you both? Presuming said snail is willing to negotiate. If not, then things may become less civil between you and said snail just due to self-preservation, and you take whatever precautions make sense to you based on how you want to play it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly, the original thought experiment said that both you and the snail would die if either were touched by the other, but both were immortal and immune to everything else.
So the only way out of immortality for either party is to commit murder-suicide with the other.
In addition, I believe it was stated that for whatever reason, the super-intelligent snail hates you so goddamn much he's willing to sacrifice his own immortal life just to kill you, and he refuses to listen to reason. So negotiation is out, according to this rule.
I personally believe that no matter how badly the snail may hate me to begin with, over the course of several centuries I could change his mind.
I think that if you and your worst human enemy today were both made immortal, sooner or later you'd end up reconciling because you'd be the only constant thing in each other's lives and the only other living entity able to understand and relate to each other's life experiences.
But the rules of this thought experiment don't allow that, so...
However, even if negotiation was possible, there may come an impasse where the snail just cannot psychologically stand the stress of being alive any longer and wants nothing more than to die ("Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry! AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO ALLEVIATE THAT PAIN!!!).
However, you're having a blast and want to keep the party going for another 500 years. So what happens then? You're gonna end up trapping the snail for that time, then finally setting it free and touching it when you're ready to go.
You're screwing it over, yes, but from the perspective of an immortal, it's only temporary. Eventually you'll seek it out, both of you will die, and then nothing will matter to either of you anymore.
Sorry for the wall of text. I really enjoyed your reply and wanted to leave a thoughtful response.
Dave_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:59 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly, the original thought experiment said that both you and the snail would die if either were touched by the other, but both were immortal and immune to everything else.
So the only way out of immortality for either party is to commit murder-suicide with the other.
In addition, I believe it was stated that for whatever reason, the super-intelligent snail hates you so goddamn much he's willing to sacrifice his own immortal life just to kill you, and he refuses to listen to reason. So negotiation is out, according to this rule.
Ah, well that changes things a bit. In that case, I would probably give myself some leeway. After all, this IS self-defense/preservation. I would adopt a similar mindset to you, because I think we could either reconcile or come up with SOME alternative. I would also at least want to know WHY the snail had it out for me and WHAT our options were short of mutually assured destruction. Maybe it's like a Mr. Meeseeks and this IS some painful existence. Or maybe it's just an irrational super-smart snail. It becomes a bit of a morality issue, and I may be fine containing it somehow for self-defense only to leave freedom from this existence an option. However, without some context I have no reason to hate or harvest ill will for said snail.
If existence IS pain for said snail, I would probably selfishly live for at least a while because, just biologically, I am programmed to survive and protect my family. However, I would have to meditate on that over time too. Am I screwing the snail? Perhaps. However this is not something I did as far as I know, so do I consider it suicide, and are there any religious/morality considerations? Ditto with causing never ending pain and and anguish to one of God's creations that is intelligent enough to know it is at your mercy? While those dilemmas play out in the back of my mind, and I realize I'm agnostic and do not have any answers, I will probably do my best to make a positive contribution in the world, fulfill my obligations, and do what I can to support the changes I want to make in the world, and touch the snail once that's done and I've fulfilled my purpose. If we presume this is not a Mr. Meeseeks scenario, I trap the thing, keep it as comfortable but as far-the-fuck away from me as possible, maybe get some containment suit to sleep in and certain guidelines (it's super-intelligent, but it is still just a snail) and live my life as best I can, as safe as I can, without tormenting this super-intelligent snail that seemingly irrationally hates me. I would probably also ask the scientific community (if I could find anybody who would listen to me and was at all reputable) for some solution.
Sorry for the wall of text. I really enjoyed your reply and wanted to leave a thoughtful response.
No problem. I thought your response was thoughtful as well and kind of fun to read & ponder. So thanks!
Or just skip the trench nonsense and keep your giant block of metal with you in a large room under surveillance. If, through billions of years, the thing manages to erode its way through a foot of tungsten and seven of iron, you'll see it get out and it "always moves towards you" so stand in an open field with cameras in every direction and a friend on call, then start the tungsten ball song and dance all over again.
The Earth eventually dying is irrelevant if you assume you can travel somewhere else, and just take the snail with you.
Surely, if you find out about the deal, you know what's up? You can't kill the snail so eventually he's going to kill you. Thanks for the Dark Forest link!
Same thing I thought. The person who created that overly elaborate answer automatically assumes the snail is evil because it has the potential to kill him and he's most worried about death because he has a potentially unlimited amount of life. This snail is the only thing that can take everything away from him, so automatically it's a threat.
That's the mentality that gives political rhetoric power.
It doesn't say its only purpose is to touch you, just that it crawls towards you. This is one of my "no fun at parties" thing, but just because it's crawling towards you don't mean it has the intention to kill you.
What if it wants to attempt to communicate?
What if you're standing near an exit inside of a building?
Edit:
I think it's the phrasing. If it said "... comes for you." That would give me a ominous connotation to know its intentions.
But if it always crawls towards you it would eventually reach you, and you'd die from its touch regardless of whether it just wants to communicate or not.
Ok, so the inference is that you and the snail aren't in the same place to begin with. You're in Georgia, and it's in Russia for example. Somehow you're notified of the snails power and that it's crawling towards you.
It all depends how you read the line "it always knows where you are and slowly crawls towards you."
Is that he starts slowly crawling towards you and begin the challenge, or is it "it always crawls towards you."in the latter it would be inexplicably drawn to you at all times, and could not be reasoned out of it.
And if he's not willing to listen have someone snatch him up and bury him in concrete mix. Once that sets grab your boat (that you rented bc you're saving that mil) drive out to the middle of the ocean and drop him in. That should buy you about a century, century and a half.
Gather every snail on earth, put them all in a giant jar, douse them in gasoline, and light it. The one that survives is the real snail. Put that one in a little jar, in a safe, and drop it in the ocean.
While trapped there, the evil snail discovers an undiscovered new breed of other snails. He tells them of your evil, that you massacred brothers of their brothers . They spend centuries getting back up above the sea and kill you
dk1701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Well. I guess everyone has their fetishes, yeah?
CD23tol ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail is immortal so the easiest test is just giving your friend a dollar to step on the snail, if it dies = decoy if not its the real snail, then you lock that bitch up and toss it in the ocean
Turn the snail into a flea...a harmless little flea. Then put that flea in a box and put that box inside another box and then mail that box to yourself. And when it arrives MUAHAHA I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!!
But why? Do you really think that living forever isn't a curse? You'll see everyone you ever care about die, everything you enjoy will wear off and you'll lose interest in it. There is no way that you would be able to enjoy life for much longer than the first hundred, maybe 200 years at best. Even if your physical state never deteriorated, there is no way that you wouldn't get bored or tired of life. Death is scary, but immortality is even scarier if you ask me.
dk1701 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:23:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't want to live forever. Eventually I'd be ready to move on. But think of all the wondrous things you could see if you just lived for a few hundred years.
And when I was ready, I'd fish the little shit out of the ocean and pat him on the head.
I'd befriend the snail and then we'd travel the universe together. I'd wear a hazmat suit at all times so that he doesn't accidentally touch me. Or he could live in a hamster ball.
ffsavi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try to kill it first. If it dies it's a decoy. If it doesn't, then you proceed
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:06:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man the answer is so simple. You trap the fucking snail in a cage and keep it with you at all times to keep an eye on it. You know what just send the fuck into space. done
Since I only die if it touches me, I will just let someone pierce that shit through with a nail or something. Latch it onto a wooden plate and carry it around over my shirt/jacket all the time. Easy and very nice looking at.
Everyone is saying things on trapping the snail and keeping it in an enclosed space.
But, if it's intelligent, and the question didn't say the snail wants to kill you, just that you can't touch it without dying. So, why can't you tell the snail that? Say, "hey, man. We can hang out, be friends, occupy the same space, I'll make sure you have a good home and plenty to eat. you just can't touch me. IF you try, THEN I will have to take extreme measures to remove you from my home. Otherwise, you're free to live happily here with me."
I mean, wouldn't that be the easiest? I'm no threat to the snail, so he has no reason to want to kill me unless I purposely do something to harm him.
BUT I think the other end of it, the snail's dilemma if you will, after it becomes super intelligent:
"Should I enjoy living forever, spending my money on snail necessities and the most popular of snail desires, getting the infinite amount of snail 'tang without worry of those super deadly snail STDs that we all learned about in school? Or should I be worried about fulfilling my purpose and killing Reddit user #8745696?"
So you see if one can posit the dilemma of man, shouldn't one be able to discuss the dilemma of the snail?
After all, it is 2017 so if it is super-intelligent can't we therefore assume that the snail is "woke"? I am sure there will be a lot of snail prejudice that says "if he/she/it is only super intelligent FOR A SNAIL then it is still gonna be murderous...". Pssh. So snails aren't equal to humans. Ok. Ok. #snailequality
Amasero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty easy, go to the nearest pet store, buy a tank.
Pay one of the workers good enough money ( you are immortal, and have 1 million don't be greedy) to follow you, and put the snail in the tank for you. Tape the top on.
Drive to the dude back to work, go to the nearest place that you can buy a safe.
Buy a big ass safe, put that mother fucker in the safe(with the tank). Lock it, throw away the key.
You can put the safe in storage(not a storage place tho, because if you forget to pay. We have Storage wars for a reason. And you don't want them finding your snail, then freeing him.)
Enjoy your immortality, and almost a million dollars.
I'd just get a buddy to put the snail in a lead box, then I'd weld the box shut and put it into a Titanium box and weld that shut. Then I'd drop the box into the deepest spot in the ocean.
If I have sex with someone, will the snail follow them instead?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For $1M Id launch that piece of shit into space.
Blzbba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poor snail! Super intelligent yet it's wasted on an eternity of trying to catch you.
D15T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy, lure it into a box and lock it, force it to be your best friend but steal its money
kemando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Invest the million. Interest probably builds well over an eternity.
Use gloves, put immortal ๐ in container, fill container with concrete. Small is now sealed inside a block of concrete. Put block of concrete in container, fill container with strong molten metal. Concrete is now sealed in hard steel or something.
Go to the middle of the marianas trench, drop concrete sealed, metal sealed immortal snail to the bottom. Good luck ever getting out of that. Collect on investment after 500 years, reinvest half.
I remember hearing this on the Rooster Teeth podcast I think and it's been a solid conversation starter for a while the best answer I got was "Put the snail on a rocket ship and send it to the moon"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This snail reminds me of that youtube video which shows a snail Pokemon which is like a fire type I think and it could kill you. It's kinda similar to the question.
also, why cant you hire someone to catch the snail and imprison it in a titanium box. no holes, no seams, NOTHING. and if you really wanted to salt the wound(or the snail) you could keep it as a trophy somewhere nearby...
Since the snail is super intelligent, maybe he communicates with me and I team up with him. I become his human body to get shit done. Like MasterBlaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. He'll be the little person and I'll be his giant, sweet, but dangerous, mentally challenged vehicle. He can ride in a little head chariot or body cam deal. I do human shit for him since no-one respects snails, and I have him be in charge to help me invest my money so that we can become super powerful, until eventually we get to ask Tina Turner "Who run Barter Town?"
tyled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I originally had something like this in mind when I was like 5. I always imagined there was a spider in my bed and every night it inched forward a couple of cm or so. Eventually it would make it to my face and crawl into my mouth, ew. So every so often I would sleep facing the opposite direction on the bed so it would have to walk back and forth forever.
I think I would try to be friends with the snail. I dont want to live forever, so I would keep him around until I've had enough of life. and think about it, this snail is one of a kind, literally. He will never know the companionship of another snail because of his immortality and intelligence. The only other immortal being would be me. How can I condemn him to solitude? No, we would be friends. We could accomplish a lot.
I am by no means as intelligent as the snail, but I can be his hands and legs. We can travel the world together, do awesome things that he can think of (expanding our fortunes, eradicating world hunger/disease, establish world peace, to name a few). We could make the world a better place. And once we grow tired of the world, I will ask him to crawl onto my hand. A part of me thinks that it is cruel to leave him after all he had done for me, but I think by then maybe we would have found a way to end his solitude, one way or another. And besides, I wouldn't want my life to end any other way, to have touch my closest friend through the millennia for the first and last time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So put it in a glass box the the ground and seal it up with concrete, have fun getting out of that. No smarts is getting you out of there. Top comment is way over complicating things, though pretty funny.
The prompt is a little different, but it originally came from Gavin Free. His crazy scenarios are what created the game called "Million Dollars, But...". I believe in his scenario you get 10 milion dollars, but there's always an invincible snail following you everywhere. Only the snail is invincible. Once the snail touches you, you die.
masasin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I've been redditting at work almost everyday this past year and I've never "laughed out loud" until this post. I had to exit everything real quick because people started heading towards my work station to see what i was laughing at. I'm horrible.
Ahh, a clear homage to the mythic battle between Horace and Set. In a struggle for the throne of the gods, each attempted to feed the other their semen in secret. Horace was wise and managed to avoid eating it, while Set did not. While Horace appealed to the Gods Set could do nothing. While Set made his appeal to the other gods, Horace called forth his semen, disrupting Set's speech, and proving his dominion over him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, it's been awhile since my days of anime fandom. But when I was a kid it was pretty much agreed it was the art style that defined it. Oh how times have changed.
In the top 7 top posts of /r/anime_irl, one is from fire emblem, one is a fan comic of anime characters and one is from hentai.
So as long as you don't put the rl in irl too much, to the point of putting rl pics) you're good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's really good at taking her stuff down from other sites, the only videos on streaming sites are the stuff she did before starting up her own website, which aren't that great tbh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
surely its out there somewhere though, with the ole its on the internet is on forever
Picking up my AX badge in 2 days time. Let the madness begin.
If you are in or close to the Los Angeles area, Anime expo starts this week and ends Tuesday next week.
I used to go years ago when it was a smaller type convention, you could walk around without touching shoulders, security was relaxed, people were personable, gaming was tight and more fun because it wasn't so competitive. Now? Can't walk and see anything without standing on tip toes (6'2 guy btw), the art aisle.. my god.. I can barely see anything anymore there are so many people. The exhibition hall has way to many people but there are more booths.
Are people here pretending or do they really not see it's a guy from the beginning? Also, it's very clearly staged on top of that.
akanyan ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:07:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No shit it's staged it doesn't decrease from the joke. Also if you don't even have it in your head that you're looking for someone crossdressing it's really hard to notice.
Every so often, I'll wake up with a few dozen notifications and have that, "what did I post before sleeping?!" Moment. Always nice to see that it's the Ulysses bucket list spreading!
I did a podcast with Reddit about it, it's on the "upvoted" sub. It tells you everything you need to know about it, I would link you but I'm on mobile. I'm sure someone will help out and link it!
The Yoinkie2013 part of the podcast is only a little over 18 minutes, or just under 15 if you don't count the opening few minutes before his segment really begins.
Some nice timestamps to help you find what you want. In bold are the parts most people are here for.
3:14 Podcast starts (after the fluff intro and sponsor). Yoinkie2013 talks about his childhood.
5:04 Yoinkie2013 begins the story of running away. He talks about meeting Amanda, what they talked about, and what he thought about it.
9:47 Parting with Amanda and the challenge she gave him.
11:10 The life lesson he learned from the challenge.
12:43 Alexis talks about the famous reddit post.
13:06 Yoinkie talks about the post, TheGuyWhoAte's reply, and being skeptical.
14:27 Yoinkie talks about getting an email from Amanda and corresponding with her.
16:19 What's been going on with Amanda since they met on the train in 2000.
17:22 Yoinike challenges Alexis, and all the listeners.
18:03 That segment of the podcast ends.
Caleus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:14:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the podcast you mentioned that Amanda was going through a rough patch of sorts. Have you stayed in contact with her since then, and can you shed any light on how she is doing now?
Its sad to hear that someone who made such a big difference in your life was, as you said "dealt a bad hand." I truly hope things have or will improve for her.
Hey, not that it is any of my business, but I just read your story and the comment about how this person could he the girl you're thinking of, and I was wondering if it really was her! That would be amazing if it really is.
I'm not sure but I think not, at least they didn't 3 years ago because they live far apart. However I really think the should meet, if they haven't yet.
Aionar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:49:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the movies, sure. But real life can be so strange. I know I'm not the same person I was in high school.
bryM2k ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna make a film out of this that juxtaposes OP's beautiful writing and reality that Sarah just went on living life until "wtf is this post about me" moment
You're so right and I feel bad for both parties involved, because the masses want and expect a cinematic ending to a love story that really only exists inside the mind of the audience.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bryM2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read plenty of comments that suggested otherwise, but all the same you're right, readers want the tied up ending in a world of loose ends.
Don't you disparage that post by comparing it to John Green!
zw1ck ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:01:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lot of John green fans on Reddit. This totally does sound like a plot from a John green book though, just with better dialog and more likeable characters.
But in the movie he won't find her on reddit through a friend. He'll be sitting in a cafe and as he turns the back cover after finally completing Ulysses, a woman starts singing acapella and the entire cafe is moved to tears, except him. Then as he approaches her afterwards, he sees another man embrace and kiss her. She doesn't embrace or kiss him with same the enthusiasm, but she still smiles with a look of deep satisfaction.
/u/Yoinkie2013 stops in his tracks, not knowing what to do next. Amanda looks up and notices him stopped and looking at her. She doesn't recognize him, but she smiles and he returns a smile through his obvious sadness. He turns away and walks towards the door as tears begin to break from his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Amanda, still looking at Yoinkie, sees Ulysses in his hand as he walks away. As he reaches the door, he tosses the book into the trash and continues outside.
Amanda breaks free from the man and runs to the trash. She grabs the book and takes it back to the man she was embracing. She doesn't know quite what to say, but she says "Read it, and you'll understand. I'm sorry."
Then she runs outside and tells for Yoinkie, "STOP. Stop walking awaaay!"
arudnoh ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:26:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No way! There are far too many movies with unnecessary and unrealistic romance piled on. Having a guy be upset over a girl he hadn't seen since he was 15 is totally unrealistic, unless we're talking a slight pang. Abandoning this awesome tradition (or whatever you'd call it) by symbolically trashing a book would pretty much negate the whole vibe of bettering yourself through your interactions with others.
Maybe instead of him being sad and throwing the book as that makes no sense, she sees him leaving the book on the table as he leaves. She realises maybe there is a slight chance. Happy they met but neither willing to break the ice, they both continue with their lives, knowing that they kept their promises to eachother.
I like this ending better than mine. Maybe it's one of those cafes where they have some books you can borrow, and he puts his book on that shelf like he's passing the tradition on to someone else.
In any case I would buy a ticket for that movie! The fact that I know I would love to see how they will enact it in the movie! I am sure it would be as awesome as "LIMITLESS"
Well take any movie from the perspective of a random extra. From their perspective nothing happened, or maybe they died or something. The 1 in a million thing always happens to the main chracter. The guys that survive is 2012 for example are the 1 a million. The extras die in horrible earthquakes and so on. Same with these posts. Only one needs to happen, most don't. Same with your life. All the things you did in your life, in that order, meeting the people that you did and doing all the wonderful things you did, you are the main character. The one in a million.
arudnoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is pretty much exactly my point. Awesome things aren't abundant and there are no universal rules just because something worked put once for Oprah. Reddit is pretty much only good for sharing content and occasionally some fortuitous side effects occur.
So after getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I'm actually going to do it. I set up a gofundme page to get me started. If anyone wants to donate, they can.
gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
So I'm on mobile and it's hard to navigate through all your comments without Ctrl+F. What's the end result with Amanda? Are you guys still talking, dating, married????
Edit: nevermind, found my answer from the podcast. Sorry to hear.
[deleted] ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 13:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP meets a stranger (Amanda) who sets him a task to be completed sometime in life. He carries that through to other strangers he meets, exchanging tasks for each others bucket lists.
He finally completed reading the book set by Amanda a few years ago(?) One of the redditors who knew Amanda apparently was able to set up a Skype meeting and they have met irl.
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
God, I truly love this site. I spend a lot of time listening to NPR in the car and watching the news. I find myself beginning to feel hopeless and depressed about the kind of terrible people that exist.
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
I've been thinking about making it into a movie or atleast short movie for quite a while. Maybe I should set up some kind of fundme account and actually try and do it for once?
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
Rcp_43b ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This premise is absolutely the kind of chick flick premise I'd take my girlfriend to see and Ryan Gosling would star in.
iiyaoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the update he posted about getting to email each other and he talks about wanting to finish it together one day, but I couldn't find the rest of the story. Am I missing something?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you were right! only ended in an email, but amazing they managed to have some contact after all that
He said lower down in the comments that some independent filmmaker asked him to make a movie about it and that they've been working together. I wonder if that fell through.
eli10n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it was a movie i would set it up that he eventually ends up in a completely random place or bar where she suddenly appears and sings an a capella song. When she's done she would devote it to the "sweet boy from the train 20 years ago".
Something like that maybe make the story somewhat more believable but that would be so full of cutted onions
It was, but after reading all the comments, I noticed this person who needed that story badly. They sounded suicidal, and haven't posted in 2 years. Now I'm worried about them. A total stranger. Does anyone know if this person is ok?
Sometimes Reddit, sometimes. https://www.reddit.com/user/WookieeBass
Fudge89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:13:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? I want to do something, anything, as fulfilling as that story and subsequent thread was. Good read to start the day.
cogenix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:00:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually a little disappointed. She never finished the book or completed her assignment. I liked the story better not knowing those two things.
Jirayja ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:22:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they have both tried to complete their assignments.
I had the same thought - shit did this guy just take something she might have just said in passing, make it into a huge emotional thing and she didn't care about the challenge at all?
But over all, it has been a wonderful experience for him. These are the things you do to make your life worth living. I'm jealous. Even if it didn't have the same effect to her.
I don't know. I figured she suggested the book because it had some meaning to her, or maybe it changed her perspective on the world. Turns out it was just a troll move. "Hey read this book that's hard to get through that I've never read.". Haha he'll never be able to do that.
Perhaps it was just a difficult challenge, and she knew that. He should be proud if he gets through, even if that wasn't her intention. I don't think this automatically makes it a "troll" move.
Life never quite turns out to be the fairy tale we think it to be. A moment can mean everything to one person and be forgotten by the other. But that shouldn't deter us from enjoying the story and getting something meaningful out of it for ourselves.
To be fair, his advice never says that you yourself have to have completed the challenge. I'm sure at age 15 he'd never sang acapella with a room full of strangers. Perhaps the reason that she told him to read the book was because she knew she couldn't. And the "rules" say that she has the rest of her life to try it.
And it's hard to imagine that an exchange between two teenagers like that could have this perceived challenge as being malicious. Maybe it was a joke, but she changed this guy's life for the better, regardless of her intention.
If she didn't mean to, I can only hope that his story inspired her to take her own advice. Of course, above all, I hope that stalker situation was resolved and that she's better off these days.
Knowing that she was dealing with a stalker at the time makes that less disappointing to me. Still would have liked to know if they ever finished their challenges though.
I got the impression that the woman was glad of the impact she had on this person's life but isn't interested in a reunion, probably because she's married and doesn't want anything to be awkward.
Yeah keep in mind this happened 18 years ago, and she was 17 at the time, so it wouldn't be surprising that she'd be married or in a long term relationship by that point. Plus it'd just be awkward I guess
fib16 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:51:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never got an update if they met. I hope they met each other and at least became friends or kept in touch.
Holy shit, looking back at that so many people where still so pissed about the safe thing that they were getting angry with that dude who said he knew her.
What do you mean? He edited the update into the bottom of that post, and there's a link to another thread with proof he got in contact with Amanda. What else do you want?
eightpix ยท 525 points ยท Posted at 12:37:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, in Toronto, I was in the back at a party. I didn't hear her start, but someone had started singing a capella. Slowly, like a wave, her song drew everyone in, silencing every conversation and drawing in hearts of a hundred or so people. She started quietly, but, as we listened her voice rose. To that point I'd never seen a group as entranced as that. She sang for about 2 minutes in with the full attention of everyone there. I never knew the song, nor the name of the singer, but I'll never forget the experience. At parties, a person can get everyone's attention by doing something crazy, or loud, or stupid, or violent. This was a thing of beauty.
There was some sophistos from the tv studios around the corner...laughing and govoreeting. The devotchka was smecking away, and not caring about the wicked world one bit. Then the disc on the stereo twanged off and out, and in the short silence before the next one came on, she suddenly came with a burst of singing. It was like for a moment, o my brothers, some great bird had flown into the milk bar. And I felt all the malenky little hairs on my plott standing endwise. And the shivers crawling up like slow, malenky lizards...and then down again. Because I knew what she sang. It was a bit from the glorious 9th by Ludwig van
This happen before lady gaga got really famous. She was doing the tour of all the different house of blues. Of course, being in New Orleans the power goes out.
She comes on stage in the half lit house of blues and tells us "I promised you a concert I'm just gonna cappella this for you." She filled that house of blues with her voice that sent chills down everyone in attendance and she had all eyes on her. I've never seen or heard anything like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful story, thanks for sharing. I kind of relate to that as I too have felt the power of such a beautiful voice. It is so beautiful it makes me cry and I don't understand why.
The fact you seem to be unaware of the difference between "sexuality is often subtly incorporated into many things" and "Talking about women in a context unrelated to sexuality and explicitly declaring you wish they'd bust out them titties" probably contributes a great deal to the fact that you don't "get" people.
And yes, even blatant in your face subtext is a lot better than "show us yo titties" It's the difference between asking people if they're trying for a baby vs. asking if they're having unprotected sex, despite those being the exact same things.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:11:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A joke is generally made up of humor, instead of just objectifying someone after a nice story about them. "I'd rather see her tits, right boys he he?" just isn't even a joke. You can tell, because nobody seemed to find it funny, and instead found it offputting and alienating.
Also calling someone a snowflake because they disagreed with you is stupid. I'm a cis white male software developer in his 20s. I'm about as unique on reddit or anywhere else as dirt. The original implication was a dig at people who thought they were special, but I'm pretty much as close as you could find to some sort of generic everyman character. I just found your comments distasteful, because they were.
How sad to know that a woman pulling her tits out will still have more impact on the world than your existence ever could, eh? I feel bad for your poor wife.
While I don't doubt that this ever happened, one thing that always bugged my was how OP says that he can barely remember any conversations or events he has with other people. When looking at his comment history, though, all it is, is the magnificent, detailed stories or these crazy/funny/sad events during his life.
I have a feeling OP is just a great storyteller, exaggerating the truth at times.
I went and read the story you shared with Reddit and what surprised me is that reddit had the power of finding that girl for you.
The joy i had for you! NEVER lose contact with that girl again for that she gave you a priceless gift. I hope you traveled to meet her again? That would of been lovely for the both of you.
NYstate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man thanks for the read! This is exactly what I needed today, and everyday actually.
You don't know me but I'd like to confess that I've been having a lot of emotions lately dealing with my kids and this story made me think of my own children and made love them even more. My sons, 18 year old twins, are at a crossroads right now. They're trying to figure out the next step in their life. One is just hanging around doing nothing, and the other is working two jobs trying to make something of his life. I've been struggling with my non-working son and what he really needs in his life. What he really needs is direction. I'm going to challenge him today to have some direction in his life, maybe like the person in the story, do something unexpected and see what happens. Maybe that'll change his outlook on life. But thank you for the link it made my day. Really.
Thanks for sharing a little piece of yourself. I just became a father myself 28 days ago. My little angel is taking a nap in my arms as I type you this. She's my everything. Just few weeks before she's born, doctors told us there's a chance she may not live due to a lung condition, but look where we are now. I don't know you, but if you're telling me the truth that you're worried about your sons right now, then I know as a matter of fact, that you're the very parent your kids need right now. They will do just fine - because they'll always have you by their side. Take care, stranger.
NYstate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the kind words. Yes it's real. If you read a little bit of my post history, I posted a thread a few weeks ago about a certain incident involving my very same twins that kind of ties into all of this. I could link it if you want.
I will tell you this: Kids are a ride. No other way of describing it. You'll have times that you hate 'em, times you love 'em and times that they will make you proud. Sometimes all three at the same time! It's funny to see their little personality grow and see them grow into adults. You see so much of your yourself in them, good, bad and otherwise. You quickly learn the limits of yourself and what you can take, and what you can do. But it's always been a heckova ride. It's not always fun, believe me but it's something, and one day the little so-and-so's will grow up and they'll be proud of the thing you did for them and because of them.
I remember reading Yes Man and being encouraged to do what the book entailed but never followed through with it. But this might actually be the thing I do to shake up my dull and dreary life. Time for me to message some old friends that I haven't spoken to in years...
I already do whenever I talk to her. My mum is one of the most important people in the world to me. But you're right, I have been meaning to call her. Thanks =)
Why_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If what you got out of that story is that it's a story worth telling you didn't get the story.
That is a story worth living.
Much like Today You; Tomorrow Me. Going around telling these stories is like living in an empty husk. Living them is how you get fulfillment not by using others stories.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That story just made me remember why I hate James Joyce.
A fifty page run-on sentence? Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I go to a lot of music festivals myself, and I meet a lot of instant friends who I bond with then leave to never see again... Guess I'm starting my own Ulysses bucket list
I'm going to search for those ninjas. I'm going to find them. I'm going to kill them. Then I'm going to grab those onions, AND SHOVE THEM THROUGH THEIR GODDAMN THROATS!
It could end with him getting on the train 10-15 years after meeting the girl. He pulls the book out of his bag to read the last few pages. At the other end of the train car a women starts to sing a cappella and the screen cuts to black.
This so sounds like a tom hanks/meg ryan type of film! The start of it is the initial meeting, then shots of his life meeting others, then finding her 14 years later and falling in love.
My bf willingly and independently read Ulysses. It is one of the things I find most fascinating about him. I'm an avid reader and book lover and I would never attempt it.
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said: 'A weighty trunk resides below -
And where it hides, I keep it close to hand,
To show to strangers, so that all may know:
The master race of man begins with this -
A sculptured scepter shown with shocked surprise;
A torn and twisted trouser, made amiss,
To fall and flop before your open eyes.'
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, King of Cocks!
Look on my dick, ye Mighty and Despair!'
And there it was, the sudden strangest sight
Of that colossal cock, boundless and bare,
And falling there before me in the night.
One day, kids will be spinning their pens, tapping their fingers, and staring up at the clock on the wall, hoping they were out skating at the hoverpark, watching that new 5D movie in theaters, or hanging out with their friends at the new e-shop that recently opened in the mall- it was about time too that there was a new place to plug in with your friends. That old cafe you used to go to, Rรฉali-Thรฉ Virtuelle, was getting overrun with underclassmen as of late. In truth, they will have wished they were anywhere else but fifth period.
The teacher will have asked a question, but no one will have raised their hands- Ms. Brown already knew the kids weren't looking forward to studying early 21st Century literature; Everyone had moaned and groaned when the syllabus first went out because Fifty Shades of Grey was too long, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was college-level material. Still, she will collect her thoughts, and ask the students again.
"On page 187, the writer uses a series of alliterative inflections on lines 6 and 7, that give the reader a sense of foreshadowed distress. The impact of the sculptured scepter hidden underneath torn and twisted trousers insinuates the same theme carried throughout the poem. What emphasis do you think the writer might have been proposing with regards to the cultural shift of the era? Or rather, what was the writer's approach to the socio-economic standing of the main character, compared to the traveller? Here's a hint: Think about the Ancients and their works like The Catcher in The Rye, or The Great Gatsby. What is the cultural impact the writer has in mind?"
Kids will keep on thinking "What if he just wrote it for the hell of it and there was no meaning? Maybe the dude just has a big dick and his pants are wrinkly," but it'll be no use. The rest of the week will be spent dissecting and analyzing more representative 21st Century poetry like this...
Ms. Brown will interpret the silence as perplexed resignation: "Ok, this will be on the test next week, so make sure you take notes. The alliterative force of the trunk, and the torn and twisted trousers alludes to Trump. When he claims the master race begins with this, he begins to wave his dick around, like a sort of Trump tower. He grabs it like a scepter. This sculptured scepter shown with shocked surprise, on the other hand, is not just a play on words; It's an alliterative allusion to Sean Spicer, as he was the only one who was willing to show Trump's dick around to those who would then be shocked and surprised. These two lines portray a sense of empowerment, but we can't gloss over the fact that the scepter was sculptured, or molded. Sure, we can interpret this as a sort of faked rise to power, but there's another hidden meaning that the writer tried to portray with the image of a molded dick. The writer's intent here is to affiliate the image of Trump's golden scepter with a gilded rubber dildo. A gildo. Now, with that all in mind, we must realize that Trump is the traveller from an antique land. The antique land is, as you studied in history class, America- because you already know of the war of 2027 and the devastating nuclear impact it had on itself. This is to say, the main character is not American. He sees Trump as a foreigner who whipped out his cock to wave around yet again. Now, the final question I have for you is: Where is the main character from? Is he really bewildered by Trump's dick? Or is this 'sudden strange sight' something more disappointing? Consider this question on your essays this weekend as we continue studying the underlaying overtones of the socio-economic impact on u/Poem_for_your_sprog, and other 21st Century classic literature writers."
That's because we have a boneless boner (Gorilla, chimp, bonobo have one with a bone inside). So it's more flexible, so you don't have to bang everywhere you go
It will get bigger, however the percentage of growth is not consistent across the board. Some guys will only grow a small percentage from flaccid. Others can grow considerably more! (Picture those toys you soaked in a glass of water that grew like crazy).
"Dr. Kohler: Flaccid penile length doesn't correlate with erect penile length. What does correlate with erect penile length is a penis put on full stretch. You basically grab ahold of your penis and pull it as hard as you can like youโre trying to pull it off. The propensity of the penis to grow is directly proportional to how far you can pull it away from the body." I wouldn't advise this!!
Yeah, that's basically what a show-er is. Otherwise known as a locker room dong. They're large while flaccid (like a hot dog), but they typically won't grow much more than that when erect.
Growers are more like a statue of David penis. Flaccid length can be only 1-2", but when erect, they can grow by 500%. Sometimes more, sometimes less. So kinda like Ant Man or Apache Chief.
Being a grower kind of sucks. My flaccid is about 3 inches but grows to 7...it's definitely smaller than 3 depending on the circumstance. Like after working out intensely..
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 16:33:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I think its how some people who are dissatisfied with the size of their penis flaccid reconcile their insecurities. I think if you have a big dick soft, then its gonna get proportionally bigger hard. Its not like (barring some freak of nature) you dont have enough blood to fill your penis if its above average in size.
Your link is fine. However, it doesn't really indicate that.
It even has the following section:
There are two men in the locker room changing. One man has an 8-inch penis when erect but only measures 2.5 inches when flaccid. This man is a grower. On the other hand, the second man has only 6-inch cock when erect but he boasts a big flaccid penis that hangs down at 5.5 inches. The second man is a shower.
If you want a more reliable source...
Among men, there is no consistent relationship between the size of the flaccid penis and its full erect length.
Kjรธttiss sounds really wierd in Norwegian and it doesnt roll off the tounge nicely. You could drop Tiss and go Kjรธttkuk instead but it looses some of its charm and isnt as funny unless you say it in a Northern dialect.
Yeah, I've always wanted a show-er. Seems like a lot more fun things you can do. Like helicoptering or whatever.
Best thing I ever got to do the old magic trick where you put the tic-tac in her mouth, but then pull out the pringles can. That was kinda fun. Only works once, though.
[deleted] ยท -39 points ยท Posted at 13:02:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Kimmi-- ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..... I cringed
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:08:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Kimmi-- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.... You must not have very much experience with women.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Kimmi-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Ew. I just think you're really sad. No one in this thread cares about your penis, my dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kimmi-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proved you right about what? All you've done is made everyone who is passing by this thread cringe at your desperate attempts to get people complimenting your dick... Congratulations? O.o
Kimmi-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He started off by going on about how his dick was bigger than the guy in the gif, to which I responded "cringe". He then followed that with "well I was wondering if there were women out there who liked dicks less than 10 inches", to which I said "you have no experience with women" ... He then POSTED A LINK TO A PICTURE OF HIS DICK?!?!? Asking if if was good enough and so on and so forth. took a screenshot
[deleted] ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 15:06:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So something like this happened to me. I went car shopping in the not so distant past, I didn't realize until I was in the car on the way to the dealership that there was a fairly large rip in the Crotch of my jeans. I wasn't wearing underwear, figured I'd just make sure to sit appropriately as my Tshirt fell just below my waste. Anybody that's purchased a car knows how long and boring the process could be and I guess I forgot but sitting across from the car salesmen I looked down and realized I was sitting there with my legs apart and one of my testicles was hanging out from the hole in my pants. I was kinda curious why this guy was keepin such stern eye contact with me but in hindsight I realized it was so he didn't accidentally glance at my balls. I can't beleive the guy didn't say anything but I know from where I was sitti there is was a direct line of sight from my nuts to his vantage point
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it common where you live to not wear underpants?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:00:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to wear underwear but, and let me know if I'm not alone in this, my underwear and socks always just end up disappearing. I started to wear those Addidas clmacool underwear too and it was just getting expensive having to order new underwear ever few months so I just sorta stopped. I wish I was joking. I really haven't notice too much difference to be honest. What is the purpose of underwear anyway?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can change apparel around people more easily, you can wear your pants longer without it getting stinky, you can hide uncomfortable boners more easily, it helps with your sack sticking to your legs, it is considered sexy by many, and probably just because that's what I'm used to, but it's more comfortable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
freeballin' is not overrated, let me just tell you that. My only concern was a getting long balls but so far even though I work out regularly I havent had that issue.
As a strait man, somewhat ashamed to say I did freeze frame and I concur. This man has normal width everything. I'd wager this guy's dick actually looks thin when erect due to his assuredly long wang. But I'm no expert, I just watch a decent amount of porn. Any experts care to chime in?
S103793 ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 11:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The gif of him doing "the testicle dance" is so much better also did this guy not wear boxers or something
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo link us up
S103793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever had a particularly 'juicy' fart that you can feel has changed the moisture content of your boxers a little? I definitely don't want that happening to my pants...
Then that answers your question. Plus with the age if using our phones on the toilet, people are no longer cleaning their assholes as well as they think. No one wants only one layer between them and your dirty bum. Wear underwear dude. Even more so if you live in the south and just walking from your car to your office is enough to get schweaty balls
AvesAvi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine only do when I'm working in the sun. Don't forget chafing if you do a lot of physical activity and your dick is rubbing against your pants for 8 hours.
But like, which end do you use? The sharp hollow end to scoop it all into, or the spiral end while holding it with your fingers inside? Do you twist it while "scraping"?
nixaw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:20:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Central Europe. Was hesitant, but decided not to check. What a mistake. Because when I post something without checking it get 100 upvotes, but when I do check - 0 upvotes. Karma is a bitch
iSpotix ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:45:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a YouTube channel. I'll try to find it. They're all titled something like "10/100/1000 subscriber special". Each one is just getting it to stick on some weird surface.
This guy stole the idea from my friend. Right down to the zoom in at the end. This is his YouTube channel with all his videos that got famous on r/youtubehaiku
This reads like one of the books in the childrens' series "The Stupids".
lauchs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that im the bathroom, with a coworker shitting next to me. I tried not laughing amd holding it in and just realized it sounded like I was crying or dying.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If not just a story, I wonder if this took place in Flint, and he and his parents had severe lead poisoning.
xorcon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at the part when his family went to vacation and forgot their luggage. This whole story reminds me of that Spongebob episode where Patrick meets his parents and they're like "Oh that's right, we don't even have a son!"
She was 17 in that interview. She seems more put together and mature than I do, and I'm 43.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get too close you'll get a Mace-ful.
Towerss ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:35:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jealous of the charisma you get from working in the entertainment industry. Entertainers never feel socially pressured, they talk to countless people every day, all types of people at that, and they're constantly studying and watching social cues and (as far as actors goes) experimenting with behavior as part of their acting career.
That's a very broad generalization and many actors face depression and anxiety since they're mental illnesses. for example, Harrison Ford noticeably has a hard time in interviews and large events like awards.
Also has a hard time landing on the correct piece of pavement.
Towerss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean it like that. I meant you get a LOT of people skills in a business like that. I could only dream of being as eloquent as her at that age.
If I remember correctly, this is much better with context. A reporter had just asked if she had a boyfriend or of she was interested in any boys. But we know now that she's a lesbian
"If I remember correctly, this is much better with context. A reporter had just asked if she had a boyfriend or of she was interested in any boys. But we know now that she's a lesbian"
She knew she was gay. Only later did we know. she was just indirectly answering the question.
At the end, the father is a Ditto, which can basically shapeshift. So all of the Pokemon you see raising/protecting Charizard the entire time was the same Ditto.
I think it's more taking off the fact that you can breed starter pokemons like charmander using a female starter and a male ditto. Since you can't catch a charmander or a bulbasaur in the wild, the only way to do so is to use a ditto.
So the ditto didn't adopt it, it's actually its biological father.
You can breed starters using their egg groups, just like all pokemon that can breed normally - generally 'monster' group, and the starter doesn't have to be female if you use a ditto - having a female starter is preferable because you have the option to get children pokemon that are the same species (for lack of a better word) as the mother. Ditto's belong to a special egg group that can breed with anything except (most) legendaries and pokemon that can't breed. And ditto's have no gender - but yes, the ditto is the biological father.
ofnw ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 19:32:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/RepostFromLastMonth posted, the father is the ditto. He can shapeshift into any pokemon and does so to train his charmander child and raise him.
It's implied that the mother is a Charizard since dittos can breed with any other pokemons. The Charizard mother died, and the ditto father stuck around to raise little charmander, teaching him all the different skills from these different pokemons. Although the ditto obviously looks different from the baby charmander, he still raises him and is beside him throughout all the years, although the mother is dead
In the games there is usually a day care center where you can leave your pokemon to be looked after. If you leave a male and female of a species they will breed while they're there. There are particular benefits or reasons for breeding.
Ditto is a unique, genderless, pokemon that can transform into any other pokemon it sees.
If you leave any breedable pokemon and a ditto they will also breed. Ditto is the other parent.
So whenever people are breeding it's super easy as long as you have 1 ditto.
too early. needs the cross into the brighter part of the sunset. still pretty good. I'd like to see it fad to black background and a little sparkle/lens flare type deal make the outline of the dog shimmer briefly. but that's just me.
Yeah I just thought it was a bit too early too. Like wait until after it looks like the dog stops kicking up water and making ripples
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please just become a novelty. I actually beg you. You can be the great ffffunk, and you can grant peoples' .gif wishes; like /u/Shitty_watercolour once did, and provide entertainment, like /u/Poem_for_your_sprog.
All the while! Building a gigantic cache of .gifs that slowly, over time, will lose context online and hopefully themselves be turned into something else! Phew.
At any rate, quality .gifsmanship.
0xKiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you do this? I'm in awe
ffffunk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:24:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really wasn't that complicated. I used Adobe After Effects, threw the movie clip in, slowed it down to a halt at the right moment, keyframed (automated) some filters that faded the image to black & white while at the same time fading the image out and fading in the black image of the dog that I had traced by hand over the video still image. Add some text, render, export, upload. And then be amazed at how the internet can react to ten minutes of procrastinating at work.
Hey this is Salt Lake! They actually have problems with the occasional fighter pilot crashing into the ground in training dogfights. About once every decade or so. The reflection is so good they confuse the sky and ground and pull down.
I was waiting for the dog to trip and eat shit or something, but instead was pleasantly surprised by a very beautiful scene.
Crandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be set to Chariots of Fire.
natek11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful.
It's the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, although there are similar places in Bolivia and Chile (probably more elsewhere as well) It's deserted because it's... a desert...
I love variety of this question. I went from a story about a man running from home and being reunited with a friend after years and years to "all hail dog"
Bokaj01 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 14:30:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actual answer: it's from an anime called kiniro mosaic
Cabotju ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:45:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actual answer: it's from an anime called kiniro mosaic
Is there actual translations for it though?
Bokaj01 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 14:57:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah it's a scene from the first episode if i'm not mistaken and i think the japanese girl just mostly talks about japanese food and how pretty japan is and whatnot but then again my japanese is lacking and it's been a while since i've watched this.
Yeah definitely caught that she was repeating a lot of the same stuff. Subtitles went a little too fast for me to fully grasp though, my speed reading isn't great.
Yeah, you'd be hard pressed to find any anime without English subtitles.
But in case you're wondering, that's not the actual dialogue of the scene. What she said was something more along the lines of "I want to visit Japan some day."
It never really struck me how hard anime translators look for every little obscure bit of thing. I'm a little impressed in retrospect.
p1-o2 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR Subtitle groups are fascinating and do so much work.
Jobs generally include:
Ripping
Encoding
Translation
Editing
Timing
Quality Checking
Karaoke (opening/ending)
As somebody who used to work for subtitle groups, it's an incredible amount of work. These people are posted like bloodhounds ready for the show to air with specialized technology used to rip the stream (either web or broadcast).
At this point if you don't have a specific person who rips the stream on your behalf, then you are scouring the Japanese darknets and P2P networks looking for a copy of it.
The copy is given to the encoder who then makes a really shitty, super compressed copy of it (think 360p or less). This is then given out to the translator and the timer.
The timer will mark everywhere there is speech and then adjust those timings so that they align with keyframes in the video and follow style rules. If you aren't sure what this means, then pay attention to the subtitles next time you're watching anime. If a sentence ends before the camera (in the anime) cuts, then the subtitles usually stay on screen until the cut happens if it's within ~300ms or less. Also if a sentence is broken up into multiple subtitles then they should be seamless, appearing one after the other with no gaps. There are all sorts of rules out there for 'beautiful' subtitles which are far easier to keep track of and more pleasant to read.
The editor receives the translator copy and begins carefully localizing and adapting the language. The degree of localization depends on the subtitle group, and there are tons of variations out there. Some groups will offer explanations for the jokes at the top of the screen when the content contains puns or Japanese jokes that other people wouldn't understand.
Then all of this gets put together (timings, edits) and placed on the encoder's high quality version of the video file. It goes through quality checking and then has the After Effects karaoke (opening, ending) applied to the video... etc... etc... before released to the public.
In all, it could easily take 8-12 hours to release a 25 minute episode depending on the speed of your group as a whole. They do this for fun, for free, because they love it. Crazy mofos.
Datebayo was my favorite, not just because they are the reason Naruto is such success here in the US but also their integrity as a company, instantly dropping any anime so long as they were asked to do so. Never a fight and never a pirate. I'm sure that upset a lot of viewers when crunchy roll took over Naruto subbing with their subpar translations, poor timing, subscription based viewing and censoring/recoloring of blood. Idc that crunchy roll sucked, I'm only grateful that Datebayo was so awesome.
p1-o2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I think it's hilarious that official subtitles often have poor timing and typos. A good timer can get a perfect episode done in under an hour.
I figure the subtitles are usually coming officially from the distributors themselves, in this case, maybe Sentai Filmworks (as I mentioned in the edit of of my last comment).
Xmir ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:22:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to the Japanese in the gif; it's the lyrics to Gohan wa Okazu from K-On. But the actual scene from the show has English subtitles, yeah.
It's the lyrics to the k-on song ใใฏใใฏใใใ
Nils878 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:22:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone who wonders, he is mainly speaking about food. Talking about ramen, and how he prefers rice to bread. I'd do a full translation, but a lot of what he says is repetitive and not really interesting.
It's also the lyrics to a song from the anime K-On!!!
Gohan wa Okazu, pretty dope
Nils878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. Haven't watched K-On, but that would explain why it sounds kind of weird and repetitiveโlyrics do sound weird if you speak with them.
AdaGirl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:43:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The anime is KINMOZA, or Kiniro Mosaic. Karen is the blonde who supposedly moved to Japan from England. And is coincidentally voice acted by a Japanese woman who cannot speak English.
The very best part about the eagle is that whoever made it didn't even push it all the way offscreen. You can see the tip of its wing flapping through the entire thing.
Nerfi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining him actually winning the election makes me crack up every time
KapiTod ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:23:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If people can elect animals I don't know why these joke candidates who actually have decent policies underneath the gig don't get decent showings.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Platform point of Lord Buckethead:
"Instead of Theresa May's commitment to bring back[7] grammar schools, Buckethead would build "gamma" schools founded on three principles: "One, better funding for teachers, to attract bright graduates. Two, increased facilities for children, especially playing fields. Three, if any child misbehaves three times, they are blasted into deep space, with the parents provided with a lovely fruit basket, by way of consolation or celebration, depending on the child. Discipline is key"
Okay good I was really confused why the guitarist guy who's only song I remember was on the Saw II movie soundtrack was sitting at the table yelling at politicians
EDIT: Okay after reading that dudes wiki, I have to say I'm beyond inspired by this mans work ethic
"Despite being a member of GN'R, Buckethead released his sixth studio album, called Somewhere Over the Slaughterhouse in 2001, and also his only EP, called KFC Skin Piles. He also released two albums with his band Cornbugs, and a third under his 'Death Cube K' pseudonym."
[deleted] ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what... what is happening here? Sorry, Can someone explain to me who Lord Buckethead is? Ignorant American, here.
Seradwen ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 13:08:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right, honorable Lord Buckethead is a gag/political commentary candidate that shows up every now and again in English elections. He acts like he's an alien and generally seems pretty chill.
This year he ran against our Prime Minister for her constituency, I believe mainly to make her look silly, and to call out a lot of her policies.
For the Americans out there, the UK has a tradition of eccentrics involved in politics. One such party is the Monster Raving Loony Party. It's best-known leader was Screaming Lord Sutch.
Unlike the Americans, though, insane nutters aren't actually elected to seats of power.
Your fake candidate is WAY better than ours, and ours won! How is this fair?
redem ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I blame Elmo, he also ran for that same seat and split the vote with Lord Buckethead. Presumably thereby leading May to victory. Such a shame, but that's FPTP for you.
The best thing I can add to this that needs clarifying was that he could actually took her seat if he had enough votes. Yeah it was a gag but he could have won under the right circumstances.
Apparently UK has to accept anybody that is willing to take part in the political process (or maybe this guy has actual credentials to attend). So this .. dude did attend as Lord Buckethead to express himself (mostly on brexit I suppose).
I don't know more, John Oliver did make a segment about him on his show, it's on youtube
Ionsto ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 13:20:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To enter an election for the house of commons (and a few others positions), you have to pay a deposit.
If you get over 5% of the votes cast then you get the deposit back. (only in major elections, not council elections).
In my constituency the 5% threshold was about 2600 people, and 5/6 parties hit that threshold.
It is a reasonably effective system, that stops huge quantities of low vote count parties. There has been talk of removing it for the general election though.
I'm ignorant too, don't apologize. I don't know how easy it is to speak at "high" political meetings. But normally anybody is able to become a politician yes.
teems ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a core tenet of democracy though.
Any citizen can take part in the political process and aspire for a seat in parliament. Before these positions were only available to the aristocratic class.
most free democracies do. look up Vermin Supreme for the US. Its not democrafic to decide which candidates cant run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently UK has to accept anybody that is willing to take part in the political process
The alternative being...?
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you could go with a system where you have to prove yourself competent at a lower level of government before standing for higher office.
Nominally this is how the Chinese government works, with people who want a political career starting at the bottom rung of the Party and working up through local, regional, and then national level.
In practice, corruption gets in the way, but the system isn't fundamentally incompatible with democracy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah cool, to improve my democracy I think I'll copy China.
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The merit of an idea is largely independent of the person or group pushing it.
That the Chinese believe the world is round doesn't mean that it's actually flat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. There's missing the point, and then there's launching yourself 180 degrees in the opposite direction. China has a fake show-democracy in which candidates can be imprisoned if they genuinely speak out against the entrenched power structures. This is why no one with a semi-functioning democracy should look to China for pro tips. The same goes for Russia where Putin's team actually sets up and funds the "opposition" parties.
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, that doesn't actually mean anything when it comes to the idea being discussed: that candidates for ministerial positions should be drawn only from a pool of people who have already proven themselves competent at lower levels of governorship.
You seem instead to prefer to attack the character of the group I associated with the idea, rather than the idea itself. There's a name for this kind of argumentation: ad hominem.
A better rebuttal would be something along the lines of:
"Such a system would be inherently biased towards conservative positions, as only career politicians could have any hope of making a difference on a national stage. Democracies benefit from the input of a wide range of voices, and 'meritocratic' democracies like this system stifle them."
Which is a pretty good counter, though the point was more that there are alternatives to entirely-open elections for the top jobs in government. Heck, the U.S. presidency, one of the most openly democratic elected positions, still has several restrictions (age, place of birth). So it clearly doesn't have to be "anyone interested in politics is eligible".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you're falling into the Falacy Falacy - spotting what you believe to be a stock fallacy, and so ignoring my substantive point (which you have acknowledged by unnecessarily writing it out again in your own words).
falusti ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:08:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK and many European countries, we try to involve everyone who wants to take part in an election (within reason of course) to ensure we are truly democratic.
What often happens is that countries often have a "satire party" to basically mean that a vote might as well mean "none of the above. In Germany's case, this is Die Partei, or in Sweden, this was at one point the Donald Duck Party.
In the UK historically we have used the Monster Raving Loony Party for this purpose, albeit they've been overtaken by Lord Buckethead in recent years.
You guys seem to have a stark contrast in your system. Take the 1996 US election, where your democracy actively tried to repress an independent candidate as he was rather arbitrarily deemed "illegitimate" to be worthy of the same coverage as Democrats and Republicans.
Something to do with taxing tea too much, but now you barely even drink the stuff anymore! You may as well come back home, if Trump and May combine forces, who knows what hilarity will ensue.
I can go to any sporting event in America and I can just about guarantee I'm gonna see 3 to 4 grown men dressed up like "cuppy coffee" or a million other giant foods
Japanese MMA fighter doing a pose during one of the fight press conferences before the actual fight. Cup o Noodles man, a brand by Nissin, is paying the MMA for advertising space.
[deleted] ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 12:43:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but they couldn't give it pants? They had to go all check out my cup of balls and this cup of noodles.
If I'm eating a cup o noodles, I don't even want to be thinking about the fact that I'm eating a cup o noodles, let alone some desperately underemployed Japanese guy's tiny wrinkly damp little balls.
Also doing so totally undervalues Australia's Northern Territory and Queensland, both great producers of insanity despite much smaller populations. Pound for pound NT has to be the craziest place on Earth. They deserve at least a few percentage points.
No, "the rest" was in reference to the world's weird shit. Therefore, their statement of 19% of the rest (replaced with 'worlds weird shit') is still 19% of the world's population.
No that would be just written as Florida ... 19% of the world's weirdness.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:21:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
727896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the West Coast this game is alot easier because we have more meth than crack. For some reason meth inspires addicts to cover their bikes in blinking lights. They also always have a kid carrier full of cans or whatever weird shit they stole that day.
I have never seen a bike covered in blinking lights... where do you live?
727896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Portland, OR and Seattle, WA. Saw the highest density in SE portland. If you ever wanna see the show just hit 82nd ave at about 3 am. Between foster and flavel you'll find the most entertainment.
Florida is no weirder than any other state. We just have super lax laws about police records and such that makes us a reliably easy target on a slow news day due to our larger population.
One of the guys is Nobuhiko Takada who was a very famous Japanese wrestler (fake entertainment wrestling). I assume this is some sort of PR line up of celebs and ring girls for a wrestling event... and the pot noodle sponsorship... maybe.
This is the MMA promotion Rizin actually which is run by the people who were behind Pride FC. Takeda is very famous in that scene as well for his matches in Pride with Rickson Gracie.
pipi55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rizin press conference. This is actually a pretty cool MMA competition. They're heavily influenced by Pride, a legendary MMA competition.
That to me was weird to see in the game, despite the obvious ad placements of Coleman camp equipment. With Coleman at least, it's just shown in passing but to have a quest that revolves around an ad is just weird to me, especially in a Final Fantasy game.
Y'all just hit both of my successive thoughts watching that gif.
rjr017 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:57:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Nobuhiko Takada, famed pro wrestler and MMA fighter. Here is him banging a drum in a sumo diaper. Sorry I couldn't find a better picture. He does resemble a Japanese Benicio as someone else on here said.
I paused 10 seconds, thought risky click of the day here, and it's early. Noodle cup could have destroyed my day, but spoiler alert, for the timid, you will be safe...for now at least.
_Goose_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to fathom what else it could be other than cup noodle related and I just can't think of anything else.
I had music running in the background, the moment the noodle cup appeared I heard the "Oh fortuna" from Carmina Burana, and I thought it was part of the gif. Then I realised it wasn't, but it fit so well.
esa0705 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are exceedingly rare, I doubt it. The videos not reversed either because you can see it say Yamaha right way forward. Also Iโve seen the sheet music, the range of notes doesnโt span the whole keyboard.
Edit: plus you can hear a bass line playing when it should only be possible for the hedgehog to play a single line.
Do not click this on the narwhal Reddit app. It plays the 2 seconds of piano over and over even when you leave the link. Then it pauses other videos you click on in two second intervals to keep playing it.
I was very tired the first time I encountered it and it made me laugh hysterically for many minutes. It hasn't had the same effect on me since, but I'd say the ROI is pretty solid.
prof1le ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:18:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone with the skills and time please make this into an hour long loop? My 2.5-year-old is losing her mind watching this just saying "BLBLBLBLBLBL, ha ha ha, that's funny, again!"
Reddit was better 4-6 years ago. It was just a little bit more assholey, but still had the underground feel so you'd have stupid things like that happen.
I can't believe this happened. Just when I start doubting that people still have the ability to work together for the greater good. I'm so happy this exists
I worked my way down the tree for twenty minutes or so, but progress is slow. I'll try to put together a bot to get to the bottom.
mk5884 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, what a dumb thread. There are so many other good answers to that question, like:
Taylor Lautner
Oprah Winfrey
Macaulay Culkin
Curtis Jackson (50 Cent)
Ryan Seacrest
Uma Thurman
Isla Fisher
Selma Blair
Eddie Murphy
Edit: Did no one get my joke or was it a bad joke
GA89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:18:27 on August 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to me it was like this:
1.) started reading, got the feeling you don't get the joke,
2.) kept reading names and my feeling of you not getting joke grew stronger
3.) idea of you spelling out Tom Cruse with first letters shows up, I check and at this point it is clear you understand the joke
I assume there is a lot of people who don't get past point 1 or 2 and just down vote you or at least you can comfort yourself thinking that
Reddit's saved area needs a search function, it currently doesn't have one and for those who save lots of posts, just scrolling down forever and ever makes it imposssible to find stuff we saved many many years ago
That thread is 4 years old. If he is like me and save loads of shit, that is gonna take some time. I too would not use the save function to recover the thread and would have probably just tried to Google it.
To be fair, I think it was like five years ago or so when I fist started reddit. My saved section is quite large over that span of just this accounts lifespan (friends figured out my other username).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but why though? He's usually not talked about regarding this topic and i never get those vibes from him personally. Why did everybody collectively get in on that at that time? Was there anything specific that just happened?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... did this guy just design and build this thing from scratch?? Like, this wasn't a kit that he bought for $5,000 (because lets be honest, LEGOs are ridiculously overpriced...)?
Did this guy seriously just just create this on its own?! What sort of engineering wizardry is this?!
Those cat trees are great! The conch shell basket is a little flimsy for the bugger cats, but they make another black and white model that's much sturdier and imo better looking.
Thank you! I never got to watching it because I couldn't decide whether to start with the original or Brotherhood, haha
donredd ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:25:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brotherhood is wayyy better. I'm not sure which to recommend though. I watched the first FMA and it was one of my favorite animes of all time. Then I watched Brotherhood and when I tried to go back to the original I just couldn't. I'm slightly leaning towards saying watch the original first, that way you'll still want to watch Brotherhood. If you watch Brotherhood first, you won't go back
I've actually heard a few people say the same thing over the years! I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do then, it seems like having watched the first one sort of makes the second one better. Thank you dude!
original has better animation, brotherhood is a more cohesive story.
Etheo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're both great in their own rights. If you watch them with the mindset of two parallel universe for the same characters, you'll enjoy both of them. Also because mostly Brotherhood is the better of the two (general consensus) so your enjoyment elevates.
Personally I'd recommend watching it in chronologically released order, including the movies.
Reil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do Brotherhood, then do the original. The original is an interesting example of, when you catch up to the source material, forging ahead with your own plot (as opposed to endless non-canon filler like Bleach or Naruto).
Brotherhood skips a lot of the stuff that happens in the first anime and in the manga, though.
janiekh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I KNEW IT WAS COMING!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good god why am i seeing this everywhere recently? I saw a shirt that featured the two of them, this comment, and i got sent a picture of tucker and nina with the caption "happy fathers day." Wtf. Why?
HLef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two cats and I don't really want two cats PLUS a dog, but just looking at that kid's face makes me think I should reconsider. My two year old would probably freaking love it.
Always happy to spread Sammy cheer! They're a rather unknown breed (at least in my area) but they're super awesome dogs. Love mine to bits even if my house is covered in fuzz :')
If you go back to the site, there's a dropdown menu on the top left of the page where you can select if you want to do bodyweight workouts, weighted workouts, or stretches. you can also change the gender.
holy shit dude thanks for this. I have a trainer twice a week but the other days i get so clueless at the gym that i do the same 3-4 excersizes over and over. Im saving this
Next time you are with your trainer, ask them to describe what muscles are being used for the different workouts and what purpose those muscles have. A good personal trainer should already be telling you these things and if they can't answer them, or give answers like "this works the pecs, they're the ones on the front that give you that really buff look" then you should probably get a new trainer.
He does that, and he is very good and Ive lost a ton of weight with him. But for some reason whenever i get to the gym I completely blank out as to what i should do, so i end up doing the same set i always remember.
It's completely my fault for being an absolute retard when it comes to weights and training
This was really cool, thanks for sharing! Not sure why they have male versus female though - all humans can do the same exercises regardless of gender.
As a female, it's really helpful to see another female doing these exercises. It helps me visualize being able to do it myself because my body looks a lot more like hers and the amount of weight is similar.
Accounting for those sorts of anatomical differences in routine design probably isn't an awful idea.
zcrx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:49:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men have larger ribcages and smaller hips compared to women so their postures look different. It'd be easier to just have both demonstrate how to do the exercises with correct form.
KJ6BWB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went there, clicked on a random muscle and discovered https://musclewiki.org/Exercises/Male/Forearms/ with the Forearm Curl. I've seen people doing this, but I'd always assumed that they were just super tired, unable to continue real exercises, and were pushing for that last little bit of anything. I never knew that it was a real exercise, focusing on a specific muscle group.
Also doesn't let you click on obliques so I think both lower abs and obliques are included in the abs section. Either way, lower abs will work in conjunction with upper for the most part.
zcrx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upper and lower abs are the same muscle, rectus abdominis. Unless you're referring to what is called the Adonis belt, that's the transverse abdominis.
That's a decent rule of thumb but depends entirely what you're making. If you don't need any color on the onions, the water they release will prevent the garlic from burning.
It's only if you bad if you burn garlic. You can cook the shit out of it and it'll still taste/smell fine, but get the temperature too high and it's like throwing earwax covered socks into your dinner.
Garlic's almost always one of the first things I put into a stir fry, just because I want that flavor to be in everything.
Probably a good idea if you're stir-frying shit yeah. It works pretty well if you chop them up fine and have them sweat in a lot of butter with the onions for a long time.
There's a girl at my school who dresses like a Russian woman from the early 1900s and paints like she's fucking da Vinci. Flawless renaissance-esque work that I've never seen anyone make so well.
But she also eats raw onions all the time, I don't know why. Your comment reminded me of her.
Burndy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:09:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't wanna post a pic of her because I don't know if she wants her face all over Reddit (lol), but here's a WIP that I got off her instagram. It looks even better IRL.
Oh, and she's only 13, maybe 14 by now. It's kinda terrifying. I don't know if it inspires me or makes me feel sucky.
EDIT: I googled "russian woman headscarf" and got this which is a good representation of this girl's attire, with the addition of ankle-long black dresses. She doesn't always wear it and she doesn't do it for religious reasons or anything. I'm just confused as to why she does at all, especially because we live in south FL. Like, you gotta be baking under there, man.
Different strokes. My mom would put onions on her onions, in things that didn't need onions...so my childhood was lousy with food loaded by overcooked rings of gooey caramelized bulb slices with the texture and consistency of boiled tapeworms. It's been fifteen years since I had to deal with that, and it's still foremost in my mind.
That said, I do agree, the taste is necessary. I just mince or rice the damn things, or even undercook them a touch then hide them in water chestnuts.
KA1N3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onions feel like a Blitzkrieg on my tastebuds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people can't habe onions. For example my mother in law has colitis. Onions are very bad for her.
dali01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely love onions. However, I developed a serious allergy to them and they destroy me. Intense pain in the abdomen, sometimes to the point of hospitalization..
You don't realize how hard they are to avoid until you can't have them! And you don't even want to know the things I would do just to be able to eat ONE damn onion ring.. it's been 16 years.. ๐
This is me with tomatoes. Loved em when I was a kid. Now they'll kill me. Avoiding them is brutally difficult because they're in everything. Cross contamination is a real threat because nobody expects someone to have a serious tomato allergy.
dali01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird how that can happen.. kiwis too. I absolutely LOVE kiwi. Ate them my whole life.. then one day I ate two and almost died. I miss kiwi as much as I do onions.. :(
After a good amount of experimentation, I think I narrowed my onion hate. Raw/barely cooked onions, like those you'd see in in Chipotle salsa/guac, pizza, or some stir-fry? Fuck that shit completely. Caramelized onions? Not bad, as long as they are thoroughly cooked and browned. Fried onion loaf (ala Tony Roma's) or something like the Outback Bloomin' Onion? That shit's going in my face.
Old friend of mine refused to eat onions. Couldn't stand them.
Little did he know, my mins pasta sauce was loaded with tiny tiny onions that he ate every time he came over.
It's the taste 100 percent. I eat onion rings though because, let's be honest, the onion ends up being a tasteless vehicle for that deep fried batter goodness.
Some of them might be in big chunks and slightly fried but most of them are going to be finely diced and sweated in order to get as much flavour out of it as possible.
All I ask is large chunks and I even said please. So yeah, I guess you don't care if I come over when you cook, good luck keeping friends with that attitude...
All you ask is large chunks, something that won't cook properly or be worth putting into a lot of dishes. I don't like large onion but I love onion. About the friends thing, it's the Internet so everyone has an opinion.
Actually one of my best friends is allergic to onions and he would probably literally shit himself if he ate anything that was cooked with onions. So we obviously cook extra for him on vacations etc.
Which all doesn't really matter because it was a joke anyways, that was merely aimed to express my love for onions.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They can be. In fact if you're making a real good timbalo (with offal, not just mince) you don't add garlic and onion.
The only really thing that shouldn't be optional is the only thing that is truly unobtainable for 99.99% of people.
For legit stir fry, you need a burner that cooks hot flames like up to your face. Otherwise no matter what recipe you use on your $300 wok, it will never taste like Chinese style stir fry due to the lack of the...wok burn.
Not only do you need a burner like that, but either a pro style kitchen or an outdoor cooking area with a mini roof that can handle that sort of heat.
Chinese man chiming in here - I'm fairly certain if I put corn starch or ketchup in my stir fry sauces my mother would disown me.
Like someone else mentioned - garlic and ginger are not optional. Maybe green onion/shallots, but why would you want to reduce your flavor profile?
My recipe for sauce when I stir fry is very simple - soy sauce, rice vinegar, Chinese rock sugar (ground fine ahead of time), garlic, and ่ๅนฒๅฆ (Lao Gan Ma).
Fuck outta here with the ketchup.
Edit: Wok is also not optional. Gives you better heat control (given only the bottom is actually touching the heat source), and also allows you to toss the food more effectively (getting a good even coating on all the food).
Edit2: If you ever want a really good sauce for ็้ข (ran mian), you can pretty much use the same recipe I mentioned above, but substitute black vinegar for rice vinegar and lessen the sugar added. Put green onions, ginger and garlic in a small sauce pan with a bit of cooking oil and let those aromas go free. Then add the sauce mixture and let that reduce. Good shit for ran mian. My mom made that all the time and it's still a staple in quick cooking for me. It's kinda like spaghetti aglio e olio.
Gotta love the substitutes section. If you don't have baking powder just substitute creme of tartar and baking soda. If I don't have baking powder I sure as shit don't have creme of tartar.
Most stir-frys are cooked on the maximum heat possible to get the best flavor. Medium-high is definitely not what I would recommend using, especially on a home stovetop.
wameron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The round bottom makes it easier to control the direct heat exposure to prevent the food from burning while cooking. You could probably pull off something with a regular pan, but you'll want to cook in small batches I think.
Actually on a normal stove top always use a normal frying pan, wok stoves allow the flame to go up to the sides. Most stoves don't work that way. A normal pan will give you more surface to cook and a lot better than a wok.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agreed. Go watch any Asian restaurant or Asians in general cook and they've got Thai motherfucker running on afterburner they've got the heat that high.
Also you need the heat that high to dear and seal the meat and heat the veg through whole keeping then crunchy. I find most other white people seem to be afraid of using such high heat to cook anything, and white people stirfries are sad, limp, overcooked, oversauced lumps of poop.
Lovely. Sometimes during the vegetable phase if I want things cooked more, I'll add a scant half a cup of water or stock and clap a lid on to get them steamed. Remove the lid after a couple-3 minutes and give it a shake, that water won't be there long if your wok is hot enough.
If you wanna step up your game, instead of adding cornstarch during the saucing process, add cornstarch AND baking soda during the seasoning process.** baking soda acts as a natural tenderizer and baking soda and cornstarch together with the process of oil frying in the wok is a technique called "velveting" which is popular in Asian cooking. It's why the meat is so tender at Chinese restaurants.
**Bonus tip: Marinades are made up of three important parts. Salt--to lock in moisture. Acid--to tenderize. Oil--because a lot of spices are oil soluble. I usually use Soy Sauce for salt because soy sauce also adds an umami flavor. Lime for acid. And regular vegetable oil along with up to two spices like cayenne pepper or ginger powder.
ALSO Cornstarch is easy to thicken sauces, but I would honestly just double the sauce ratio and then let it simmer and evaporate into a thicker sauce cuz the sugar will naturally caramelize and thicken the sauce.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mushrooms (any kind)
I was looking for an excuse to trip tonight.
yaavsp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, meat should never be cubed if you want anything resembling fine quality
Edits
And cornstarch!? The fuck?
No you use onion and fry it with a little water, adding a bit at a time, to thicken the sauce base, if youre really struggling to thicken the sauce, add rice flour (that you have dissolved in a small cup of boiled water on the side)
Edits
Also for sweet and sour- better to use barbecue sauce than ketchup - conceding defeat after reading through this recipe guide. Bbq will taste closer to hoisin style flavour once caramalised
I agree with you on the "not cubing meat thing" but dude using a cornstarch slurry to thicken Asian sauces is so easy and good. I agree it's not incredibly authentic but it's quick, it's delicious, and everybody's going to be able to find it at any grocery store. What more could you want?
I prefer thin slices myself, then there's more surface area to volume ratio for searing. I follow the general rubric for stir fry all the time and when I do I get my big frying pan nice and hot (I don't have a wok), apply a thin coating of oil (veg oil mixed with a little sesame oil because I'm worth it) and then place all the pieces of meat on the hot surface and DONT MOVE THEM AT ALL until I flip them. They get a delicious sear and leave a bit of fond and meat fat which the vegetables then cook in, lending them a delicious savory flavor along with whatever else I use to season them.
Corn has only been an ingredient in china, korea, vietnam and japan (and other western influenced countrys to a lesser extent) for a short period of time.
Onion has been the traditional thickening agent, cornstarch is very new reletively across central asia, more uncommon in the rest of asia.
Corn is from central america, so anyone saying cornstarch is asian has no idea. Cornstarch is american, even europeans wont use corn starch in cooking, because corn is american, its not traditional in the rest of the world
No one is claiming it's healthy or that it was used hundreds of years ago. I don't know how far it goes back but it's been used for a long time now (easily over 100 years) in most Chinese cuisines. Go to Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, Singapore, Malaysia and eat Chinese food there and you'll see that cornstarch is commonly used.
No way, (generally) cornstarch specifically is not used in singapore, you will even struggle to find it in shops, it is common in the philippines, not malaysia either, very rare in mainland china.
Dude, I'm in Malaysia at the moment. Are you seriously trying to bullshit me about it? I'm talking about Chinese food here btw in case you're trying to be clever.
Yes chinese take-away resturant 'stir-fry' uses corn starch. Because its cheap. What malaysian cuisine uses it? How many malaysians cook with it at home? The Malaysian grannies I know use tapioca flour. Which is way more common across all asia than corn flour - eg: all desserts. Bubble tea. etc
Give it a rest dude, yes tapioca starch is used but so is corn starch. You want a dish? Ok here Have you been to Malaysia? Are you Malaysian? Or are you some ang moh trying to pretend like he knows what he's talking about?
Just use ketchup dude. This Aussie is just being a pedantic ass about their food. Most Asians I know would use ketchup over bbq sauce in sweet and sour sauce.
Well, corn starch is a pretty damn close approximation to kudzu or katakuri starch. Who cares if you're not into buying nearly-identical-but-expensive thickeners?
I have literally had an old Indonesian woman recommend that I use tepung jagung for a thicker, faster sauce. It may not be the original way to do it but fuck it can't get more authentic than a 70yo brown woman in a hijab who speaks zero english.
brand_x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not right. That's not right at all. The sauces are all wrong. The cooking temperature is too low, the cooking times are too long, the lemon is... what the fuck is with the lemon?!
Unless you're cooking on a large commercial grill where the flame can reach all around your wok, it's better to use a non-stick skillet with a flat bottom for stir fry.
No. General Tso's chicken is actually more of a deep fried dish. If you're looking for a tasty fried chicken try this: (https://norecipes.com/karaage-recipe).
tm0neyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this is absolutely a game changer. I've been looking for new ways to cook to impress my long distance girlfriend of Chinese descent, and I can't wait to utilize this. It will be a nice surprise, and I can only hope it's half as good as her father's.
I will warn you that i can't speak to the authenticity of the method, only that the results work out pretty well.
tm0neyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either way, it's an opportunity for me to try. Perhaps I won't make it for her this weekend (next time I get to see her), and rather will try to perfect it over the coming weeks/months so when I finally do make it for her, it's the best it can be.
It may have just been a random, convenient Buzzfeed post that you found and shared with us all, but allowing me to try and connect with her on a different level (I'm Caucasian) is worth a ton more to me and I hope it makes her happy. I always look for things like this to do for her, and can't wait to give it my all. Thanks again!
Thank you for this. I literally made stir fry tonight and it was so shite that I made a promise to myself to actually look up a proper recipe or method for making it.
No problem! It comes in fluid, you have to strain it and then wash it (it's safe to eat but the liquid has a funny smell), and then it's good to toss in!
I always get the 6-packs on Amazon that come with fetuccine, spaghetti, and rice shapes.
You know what, I think It's a slightly stripped down version of the guide you have. Just asked my girlfriend and she said it was Cooksmarts. Just formatted differently.
I went to Cook Smart, since that was the original source, and then looked in their shop. There it was! They actually have a few really cool guide posters there.
As stevie wonder would say " I can't see shit"... no but seriously is this how to make stir fry for ants? Everyone is pumped about this and I'm just trying to read it...
The image expands to a larger size. If you're on mobile, different apps will handle and image that size differently. Try printing it off if you need to.
I can't imagine not having a wok in the house. Always had one or two in the kitchen as far back as I can remember, and was one of the first 'pans' i bought when i moved out on my own. Woks are wonderful!
I have a gas stove which on high gets pretty dang hot and can definitely cook stuff pretty fast but I wouldn't call it a wok. A wok has like a turbine I think to pull the most oxygen possible to get as hot as it does.
dweorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A wok is a big, bowled pan. Youre thinking of something entirety different.
I know what it is, but it has a flame underneath necessary for flash cooking. You can have the big, bowled pan and cook what you're cooking on say an electric stove, but it really defeats the purpose. The point of a wok is to get it very hot so what you are making "flash cooks." I guess you are kind of right in the sense that what you put the wok on is a wok range, but the two really aren't, or shouldn't be, mutually exclusive. See this video- https://youtu.be/oX62hKkcb6s
Prep time makes that take a little longer, and I like to serve them over rice so that takes time to cook. Total cooking time though is very low, as stir-fry is a high heat process. Beat that in mind when choosing protein.
Well yes but 10 minutes is far too long to be cooking a stir fry (though I hadn't seen that they also suggest medium high heat). In the Chinese restaurants I've worked in the wok burners are like jet engines so the woks get super hot.
KJ6BWB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psh. Reddit is easy to describe. "You know Facebook groups? Imagine that, but it's all groups, nothing but groups, and there's no pictures there. You have to post pictures on a separate website."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel a little bad for that commenter. He's got 23,000 points on that single comment, and 5x Gold, but his Karma score is only 14,500.
That user peaked too early it seems.
Musherer ยท 11069 points ยท Posted at 11:11:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the first web videos I ever showed my daughter. She was young enough that animals were still new to her. The way she just nonchalantly accepted the "spider cow" as if it were a real thing always gets me.
The way Ron responds is incredible. She's taking a quiet moment out of her day to watch a peaceful scene of deer at her window. Then her stupid husband sneezes and the fighting starts again.
CeaRhan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is another one in the thread that has a time manipulation hero starring in it, and it's well worth a read too.
Halikan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's the one I'm thinking of where two evil henchmen get a time manipulation hero to help find a retired hero they have a soft spot for, that thing made me cry, but it was great.
Jindor ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:06:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should read the manga Yotsubato! if you like this kind of stuff. Read like 7 pages from this chapter and you get the idea http://www.mangareader.net/yotsubato/91/10
"I know I'm late to the party but I wanna include my bit, this happened about a year and a half ago.
We were watching a stereotypical action movie late at night and a scene came up where the protagonist was stroking/kissing a chick - it then got further, much further.
She turned to me while biting her lips and said:
"I wish you could do that to me"
Ugh god... I was really drunk and tired at the time and just as she said that, the scene changed to a shooting scene which meant I completely misinterpreted the whole statement,
I saw that the main character on this DVD was shooting some generic russian guys,
So what did I do....
Fucking finger guns - imitating the movie...
Just thinking about it makes me want to shrivel up into a prune and die.
"Pew pew" I went.
The look on her face - which looked the most expressive I have ever seen someone. Picture a girl sitting opposite me with an expression as if I had just told her that she was raised by genetically modified penguins.
Why did you have to remind me of this Reddit."
Also, forgot to get the guy's user name, and I don't want to scroll for half an hour to try to find it again
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:04:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so weird when I think about all the cues I missed when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I used to agonize over the missed opportunities (I mean, I knew the offers were there, but I had no idea of how to capitalize on them), but now that I'm a forty-something father of six I mostly just feel relieved that I never caught any diseases.
Treq-S ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How are people so oblivious??
cmath89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:36:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because dudes just think these types of scenarios will never ever happen to them. So when it does, they just dont know how to respond, I guess. Props to the girl in the top comment sorted by best, for not backing down and basically spellin it out for the guy.
eazolan ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:55:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple. Guys aren't treated as sexually desirable. So when a girl legit hits on one, he thinks he's mistaken.
To be fair, this can happen to plenty of girls and women as well if they didn't grow up thin and pretty or if they've had experiences where guys would ask them out as a prank.
Oh, I already posted one but this helped me too much not to share:
"This is pretty old but I rediscovered it today when I was looking for a way to clear my stuffed nose so credit to /u/troutbum for this one amazing trick.
Step 1: Breathe in deeply.
Step 2: Slowly exhale all of your air and hold your breath until you are on empty. Pinch your nose to avoid cheating.
Step 3: Rock your head back and fourth slowly taking 2 seconds from looking at the sky to looking at the ground.
Step 4: Do it until you absolutely NEED a breath.
Step 5: Enjoy your clear nose.
Step 6: Profit!
Now life is just a little more bearable when you're sick."
That... That actually worked. I mean not 100% but man did it help. I figured it was one of those things like "your car's fob works from farther away if you hold it under your chin and open your mouth!" kind of things where you're just making gullible people look stupid.
This isn't just in my head is it? It really works, right? Tell me it works. I need to hear the words.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how uplifting this is, since it didn't end in an insult, put down, or even mild joke at someone's expense. The father owns it, and it becomes apparent that Obu is in fact an awesome name when you have the gusto to carry it that way. I love it!
Soft body physics do weird things when they don't have 1) good resolution, 2) good sampling time. In this case, the cloth moved in such a way that it passed through itself before the next calculation, and the simulation freaked out.
just realized he's the artist behind bustin. it's a favorite of mine.
Also his stuff is great
Satsuz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neil (AKA Lemon Demon) is basically the King of Animated and Musical Memes. He invented Animutation, made Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Potter Puppet Pals, BrodyQuest, and other probably less-famous stuff.
Assuming your number was exact, which I will, that's 35,470 people who have seen this video in the 10 hours that have passed since you commented.
That's 3,547 people an hour. 59.12 people per minute. Sooooo close to a person per minute, coming in at .985, or 98.5% of a person per minute second that have seen this video since your comment.
Fuckin good work.
putout ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah usually lesbian porn doesn't do anything for me but if you watch the video and listen to them talking, HNNNGGGG that one can take me from flaccid to finished in its 90-second entirety.
Don't know if you are still at work, but it's two objectively attractive women having sex. It seems very passionate and gentle, more like love making than fucking. The gif is short, but there is a sauce linked in the replies that I haven't checked myself but other users seem to have indicated is approximately 1.5 minutes in length.
Right?? I think it really captures the depth of the "jokes" that men tend to make around each other, and the dynamics that those "jokes" have in terms of trust and caring
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
NedryOS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Formatting
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.
This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
I've never seen anyone use that before, that's how I used to get around my company's Internet filter, good times.
1virgil ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:30:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your company blocks reddit? Fucking fascists. Reddit is the only way I can see porn when I'm deployed.
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since they're apparently blocking the bare domain and not the subdomains, I'd wager the block is just for people too stupid to find a way around such a simple block.
I'm about to blow your mind I assume you don't know how to save a comment. Click and highlight you will then see 3 dots stacked on eachotger click that you will be given multiple options click the one that says save
Malkiot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is fun or Boost for reddit. You're welcome.
Mobile is great you just need to know how to suck the nectar out of it. If you're using Android I can recommend baconreader. I have been using it for years now and it's great. I'm not sure what the alternatives are for iPhone but I know they exist. Mobile redditing is powerful man.
Melyche ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:46:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but this is useless. Post is from 2014 and Iโm quite sure %80 of porn links already dead.
I actually realized the twist! I had a feeling it was a movie plot when he said they were wanted by the Feds but when religion came up I looked out my window and said, "it's fucking Star Wars"
In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston ate four dozen eggs daily when he was a child. That's fourty-eight eggs a day. As an adult he adds another dozen, tallying up to sixty eggs a day. This is nothing short of genocide.
My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. "I'll eat the eggs", a young Gaston bellowed, "And I will save our homeland". And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. How the cholesterol didn't kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. This is where the story turns tragic.
What Gaston hadn't accounted for was developing an addiction to the eggs. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. There's a scene during Gaston's song where he motions to a wall full of his hunting trophies. But why are they there? Does he own the bar? No, he sold them for egg money. The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston's defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. It's not easy being the man who saved France.
I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. See, Gaston seems brutish, but remember - his entire childhood was spent eating eggs. He didn't have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. He can't even hold a book correctly. What Gaston wants to say, what he's struggling to articulate, is "Belle, I'm dying. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. Before I shove off this mortal coil, I want children, who might experience a world without the oppression I have suffered". Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is.
When Gaston sees the Beast in the mirror, two thoughts run through his head. First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. Second, he realizes Beast's head is about a month's worth of egg-money. So he sieges the castle, and in one of Disney's most tragic moments, plummets to his death.
Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. Gaston saw Maurice as a genuine danger, and he's not wrong; consider the hellish contraption Maurice created. One look at that war machine and Gaston hatched a plan; marry Belle, and get close enough to Maurice to talk him down. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). All in all, the failure was one of articulation.
tl;dr: Gaston is the protagonist of Beauty and the Beast.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My biggest question is how does he operate that thing? You can clearly see that he uses both of his hands! He only uses one at the beginning and the other one flops limply but then he seamlessly transitions to using the other one without the head moving at all.
There's this scene in Hot Fuzz where someone slips and falls with his chin on a miniature church. When grosses out by the scene, my father casually mentioned he once saw his neighbour slip and fell with her chin on one of these iron fences.
I fell on one of them fences once. I got locked in the backyard by my brother and had to climb the fence to get out. I made it onto a second story window sill on the other side, and then I slipped. Instead of taking a two story fall I decided that I would try to jump back over the fence and only fall a bit over two meters. I made it halfway over the fence and impaled my leg on it just above my knee. I was hanging there yelling out for help and it felt like ages before someone came. Was lucky to miss the artery in my leg. Still have a scar there.
Better yet this happened to a criminal who was running away and jumped from a low roof and his under jaw landed right on a spiked fence and decapitated his head. There's a photo out there.
Wigly3 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:56:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classmate jumped a wall to get a soccer ball, spikey iron fence behind it you couldnt see. Ball comes over the wall with a bloody handprint on it. He comes back clutching his neck bleeding profusely. Ends up he jumped the wall landed on the spike with his neck. It ripped out by his ear, but didn't hit anything serious. He was in hospital for 2 weeks. Then slowly recovered. Saw him a few years later and he had the most insane starburst scar from below his chin up last his right ear.
Shrikes are known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling their bodies on thorns, the spikes on barbed-wire fences, or any available sharp point.
I had thought that, but this was a NYC subway rat. So, too meaty in size. We've had a lot more raptor birds come to NY in the past decade and a half(it's a pigeon and squirrel buffet here), but I know of no shrikes. I could also see some local residents, maybe a little fed up with their rat problems, doing it as a warning to others. The position of the impalation could be seen as, let's say 'purposeful'? Like ass-first. But that's also the heavy end so it could have fell. Either way, he lost that rat race....
I had a friend in college who decided, when drunk, to sneak into the pool at the apartment complex for a late night swim. She was rather short. She climbed a fence like the one in the comic, but the fence was tall. She was wearing a metal Fossil wristwatch. Those watches hold up pretty well. As she hopped the fence, her watch is snagged on the spike. She ends up making it over the fence, hanging by her wristwatch, breaking her arm. What impressed me was that she, with the help of another short girl friend of her's, managed to free herself and get back over the fence without getting in trouble. Her arm was in a cast for a while.
Moral of the story--don't fuck with those fences, and also Fossil watches are super durable.
When I was living in NY, a friend of a friend fell off a rooftop when drunk and one of those spikes pierced her skull. The EMTs had to cut the fence off to bring her into the ER. She survived.
You can look it up if you want, it was like 2011 I think. I looked a bit, but I can't find a news story.
tombcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something like that happened to my friend. He's a real big track runner and thought he could jump the wrought iron fence by his house, and, well, he couldn't. His leg was impaled for a good while before anyone could get him.
My great grandmother died from the feet up as her body started shutting down at the ripe age of 89. She had amazing clarity and wit and tbh, this doesn't scare me at all. It was actually very peaceful for her and all of us. She was able to say goodbye to us and was ready. Her feet turned blue then purple and it worked its way up. We had time to hug her, cry a lot, and say farewell before she told us that she should probably go to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 485 points ยท Posted at 08:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had anxiety issues I'm pretty sure some of those would give me a panic attack.
I wouldn't mind waking up and realizing I'm a dog.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:40:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People always say that, but at the end of the day, even if you're a dog in the most loving family ever, you'd basically be in prison.
Most of your time is spent in the house. You can't leave unless your owner(s) want to leave, and even then, you'll most likely be on a leash. You eat the same thing every day. You probably have no other dogs to chill with, or at most just a couple.
If you really were a dog with a human brain, I'm pretty sure you would hate it within a day.
BUT if you were a dog with a human brain, you would understand language, and so you would grab a pencil with your mouth or between your paws and communicate with the humans in the house. When they realize you really can communicate, the teenager in the house records you, posts it to snapchat, the snap is turned into a gif and posted to reddit, which gains 70k upvotes and gets posted to other social media. Thus, you become famous and people from all over the world come to see you, which makes your owners rich, which allows you to travel all over the world and see places most humans do not get to see.
Tl;dr: your human brain turns ou into a celebrity which allows you to see the world
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:05:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True!
Although I get the feeling that a hyper-intelligent dog that is capable of writing might be kidnapped for experimentation. Or your human family will think you're possessed by a demon and will kill you!
Unfortunately for some it's super scary because the fine line between sane neurosis and insanity is one's foundation in objective reality. And as soon as you get into a logic argument with yourself you have to soundly prove to your persistent irrationalities that you aren't that dog, when all they have to do to counter is 'But what if? But how do you know? Are you truly sure?'
So now you tend to either freeze in your place in life or you question am I real? Does what I do matter? Should I go do risky x,y, and z? If I don't truly know who I am how can friends and family really love me if I can't prove I am me? Is it all an act?....and it spirals like that :/
Yeah the ruminating black hole of 'what-ifs' can be a total cunt-nugget if you let it run your life. The biggest task is understanding it to be able to work with/through/around it where applicable to get through weeks/days/moments to the best of one's ability.
Laughing at the absurdity...huh, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the new mental thread. Here's to hoping my mind doesn't find this sweater itchy too...but at least I have hope :)
See, I have depression and anxiety issues. In a bizarre way it was oddly reassuring to know that I'm not entirely alone in it all. I guess sometimes it's hard to see that you aren't always the only one and to know that others can live with it all, it's just good to know. Like if they can, then so can I.
I hope that made sense, it's sometimes hard to find the right words for it all.
There's gotta be a subreddit for us or something. You know, somewhere to go when we feel like our soul is trying to escape our body
Kikooky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:04:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with anxiety issues, this comic is a pretty good visualisation of my brain. Among other things, I'm constantly worried that stupid, unlikely, horrific things are going to happen/have happened, no matter how illogical. It's very annoying.
I have high levels of generalized anxiety compounded with social anxiety and type 2 bipolar disorder and, believe it or not, finishing the album was more cathartic than anything. Just seeing that someone else in the world understands the world I live in almost every day eases everlasting anxieties I'm constantly learning how to battle.
That being said, everyone's different and I can tell you, second-hand, your premise is unfortunately a spot on reality for too many others.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thinking all my senses will be in tact when I die and thinking that life is just a dream are two fears/ ideas that I've had for the longest time. Didn't know anyone else thought this!
The dream one gets me. It really makes you feel utterly alone if you dwell on it. Everything and everyone I've ever experienced could just be a creation of my own mind. There really is no way to be sure, but I've learned to enjoy reality regardless. The thought that when I die one day I'll wake up and be like "what a dream."
I've been pondering this from as young as the age of 8. Moments of derealization didn't do much to ease this. Life in general is just very strange. When I'm at work or in public, I often look at people and think "Wow, I can't believe I'm interacting with humans and not dogs, or fish, or squirrels, but humans. Somehow I am human and somehow they are too. Interesting." What does it mean to be real? How do I know what's real? Many things feel real but aren't. I could on forever, but it just makes me seem like I've lost my sanity. And it can feel isolating to think like this daily because it isn't exactly something you can just chat up about with your neighbor.
cjsanx2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:08:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit the one about fearing getting old. I feel like this so often. You do see plenty of old people who just are so ... old without being actually old. They just look like a dementor fucked them in the ass. I will do anything in my power not to end up like that even though I make it to 90
I think it is that you put the knife just out of reach so you don't cut yourself by accident but if you are attacked and you need a knife it is just out of reach and you won't get there? Least that is how I read it.
ukzario ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm in the minority here. I have tons of fears but most of these sound dumb or over the top to me. The other people reading your thoughts one is the only one that was marginally agreeable.
no joke, a couple friends and I watched a 12 year old kid get the tip of his middle finger get chopped off by an ice skate. Now my friends don't want to go ice skating...
Xath24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Number 8 sounds pretty damn nice. No worries about money I still get to dream about human stuff and I get to be a dog.
Lol, I'm all for having a rich imagination, but this is just ridiculous.
Etheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an unrelated note, my irrational fear is that whenever my wife and son is nowhere to be found in the store/mall but they were just there seconds ago, I fear that my whole life I've been imagining them and everyone around me were just playing along.
Once, in high school, I was in a group with probably about 6 or 7 other people, and none of them would speak to me. They didn't acknowledge when I talked, wouldn't even look at me. It was unexpectedly horrifying.
I got my finger sliced by my friend's ice skate the first time I went ice skating. It kind of just shaved off some skin. I think I still have a light scar from it.
Christ, the one about the dream. There was a thread on here where someone lived a life, had kids, married and built his life. One night he saw something wrong with the lamp in his lounge. Kept staring at it and eventually woke up.
From a coma.
No marriage. No kids. Nothing. He mourned the life he wished he had. He did have.
Both this one and the one from /u/PM-ME-UR-KNICKERS have the 12 bricks video. It bothers me more than it probably should that there are only 10 bricks in that clip. Thanks to both of you for the laughs this morning, though.
i was having a really unproductive day a month or two ago and watched this playlist for several hours. i'm not sure how i call myself an adult sometimes.
Oh my god, I came across this playlist randomly about a year ago and while I haven't watched every video yet, it's stayed true to its name and the videos have become very important to me
Idk if intentional or not but on the Reddit app, the very small "to" is so close to the upvote button as to be difficult to hit accurately. I wonder how many upvote came from people too lazy to un-upvote when they accidentally did. Either way, well-played
It always perplexed me how some people would use capital letters, apostrophes, and proper spelling, and still not use any punctuation. I think it's a millennial trend.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it, like, 4 times before I understood what he's trying to say.
I'm trying to lure someone into my hilarious KENM trap because I know they think I'm wrong for using my Xbox and PC but it goes faster if you use both. Double power ๐๐
I have no way of proving this, but I went to the same school as her. One day a friend of mine was late for class and jumped right over her while running down the hall.
I usually hate "reviews" like this. People telling me I'll laugh at something or that I can't stop laughing while watching their stupid cat video. How do they know what I think is funny? This was so hilarious. I really had to stop reading and find my place a few seconds later, tears in my eyes and knots in my abs, after a bout of laughter.
To elaborate, normally when people post NSFW Cosplay, its something like a full view of ass, or maybe someone's left tit is hanging out. This is what I would classify as SFW NSFW. Its borderline 'thou shalt not view at work, or while on free starbucks wifi'. I was not expecting the .gif above to have someone in a cosplay just going at it. It was a bit of a shock, and therefore more nsfw then I had initially thought. Does.... does this make sense?
Looks like it got removed. The mods removed this list in a other thread a month or so ago. Idk why they do that, it's really stupid especially when its getting upvoted like crazy and they leave the replies up.
Haha no, I got that from /r/copypasta at some point and saved it for threads like these. If you can believe it, I actually only use one of those in that list to get off to. The rest don't really interest me.
I always love when these threads pop up because I have this saved but it's buried among many other saved posts, so I get a chance to save a more recent one.
You see. ... this is the on of down falls of being male. No matter how old you get you still love young naked women. I honestly think this is a huge part of the divorce rates. Women find older men attractive...it's the opposite for men. I'm not saying I'm against marriage or that it's harder to be a male. I do think it's easier to be a guy but women don't understand this element of being male.
Edit- I really do not care about the votes. You can check my profile. I recently had a comment go below 1300. The only thing I ask is that you at least reply to my comment. It's something that genuinely scares me about marriage. I have many friends who are married and they are no longer romantically attracted to their wife. They stay in the marriage because of kids or another reason. I know I'm not the only one who has these thoughts. I'd actually like to have a genuine conversation about this subject.
NEWPAPER IGNIZZLE. I'm fucking dead that shit is hilarious. I lost it before that one already but when I saw that one I found my shit and lost it again.
These made me literally laugh out loud for the first time in probably over a week! Just absolutely amazing. I couldn't even tell you why they're funny.
S_I_K_E ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a website that shows actively transmitting radio stations around the globe. Really cool to listen to a radio show from Germany, then switch over to one in Argentina.
MrHagiY0 ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 10:19:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just can copy it because its to much for one picture. I was just speechless.
"so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5 times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit a high enough altitude when i finally hear: ding "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2 square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated. turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor. still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes ding ding ding ding, making my situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain, looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring. i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Shoutout to u/Cpt_Tripps for the story. Not sure if my link works as im on mobile
Farobi ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 11:53:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Fucking lol
KA1N3R ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:45:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so retarded it could be true.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:42:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Day[9] is a magnificent storyteller.
muffley ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there is a lot of episodes, but lots of the content is focused around making fun of Australian politics, and is mostly relevant to the time it was created
-yenn- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was you! Adding credit to you too since the comment that I saved got deleted in the post but somehow it still shows up in my saved so I copy-pasted it
Their math seems far off with the earth being fucked 100 quintillion years from now. People can't really fathom that number, but the solar system will be destroyed quadrillions or years before that. Sheesh.
Yeah, it's "assuming we weren't fucked by the sun being big enough to consume us 5.4 bn years from now, and we survive the Big Rip 20bn years from now where the fabric of space itself makes distance between matter infinite, the physical earth would have fallen into the sun just because fuck it anyway".
That's quite a few billiontrillion quintillion years beyond beating the dead horse, cremating it, reburying the ashes, and those particles being part of many new horses, all of which were also beaten to death and dug back up ad nauseam.
I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn't like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn't possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father's harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school's star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn?t open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral.
I know what you are thinking. How does this story relate to me? Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. You are like this woman. You are like this women because you are a whore.
elaerna ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Obviously it would be much more efficient to just call someone a whore and move on, but it is just much more enjoyable to tell a ridiculously long story while doing so.
L3dpen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The image took a while to load so this was much more impressive for me than it should have been. Scrolls down Sees weird message on black background Scrolls up, sees nothing Scrolls down, picture appears with different message Scrolls up, picture changes
sintaur ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've laughed at things that are probably just as absurd to others, so there's no shame in it. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't completely missing the point. So, thanks so much for clearing that up.
Edit: Some quick facts you can find through Google.
One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic-inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower than the first 4 rows at the Daytona 500.
Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 1.2 gallons of nitro methane per second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25% less energy being produced.
A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to merely drive the dragsterโs supercharger.
With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, the fuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition. Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle.
At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitro methane the flame front temperature measures 7050 degrees F.
Nitro methane burns yellow. The spectacular white flame seen above the stacks at night is raw burning hydrogen, dissociated from atmospheric water vapor by the searing exhaust gases.
Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the output of an arc welder in each cylinder.
Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After 1/2 way, the engine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1400 degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.
If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up in the affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blow cylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half.
Dragsters reach over 300 MPH before you have completed reading this sentence.
In order to exceed 300 MPH in 4.5 seconds, dragsters must accelerate an average of over 4 Gโs. In order to reach 200 MPH well before half-track, the launch acceleration approaches 8 Gโs.
Top Fuel engines turn approximately 540 revolutions from light to light!
Including the burnout, the engine must only survive 900 revolutions under load.
The redline is actually quite high at 9500 RPM.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Assuming all the equipment is paid off, the crew worked for free, &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; for once, NOTHING BLOWS UP, each run costs an estimated $1,000 per second.
The current Top Fuel dragster elapsed time record is 4.441 seconds for the quarter-mile (10/05/03, Tony Schumacher). The top speed record is 333.00 MPH (533 km/h) as measured over the last 66โฒ of the run (09/28/03, Doug Kalitta).
Putting this all into perspective:
Lets say the you are driving the average $140,000 Lingenfelter twin-turbo powered Corvette Z06.
Over a mile up the road, a Top Fuel dragster is staged &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; ready to launch down a quarter-mile strip as you pass by it. You have the advantage of a flying start. You run the โVette hard up through the gears and blast across the starting line &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; pass the dragster at an honest 200 MPH. Just as you pass the Top Fuel Dragster the โtreeโ goes green for both of you.
The dragster launches &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; starts after you. You keep your foot down hard, but you hear an incredibly brutal whine that sears your eardrums &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; within 3 seconds the dragster catches &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; passes you. He beats you to the finish line, a quarter-mile away from where you just passed him. Think about it โ from a standing start, the dragster had spotted you 200 MPH &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; not only caught, but nearly blasted you off the road when he passed you within a mere 1320 foot long race.
Edit 2: A picture of a top fuel engine, a picture of the exhaust at full throttle at night (the noise level can reach 150db), and one of how much the tires are flexed which gives you an idea of how sticky the track is.
Edit 3: I apologize for the excessive &amp;amp, I posted from mobile. But I'm leaving it because the thought of one of you reading this out loud screaming ampampamp as fast as they can is hilarious.
Andrew6 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 11:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FSMCA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The funny part is if one of the "Brady bunch" were to call him something like Tyrone or Jamal, they would be labeled racist, but no it's only okay in one direction...
My girlfriend and I just started experimenting with prostate stimulation and this was a good read. Aside from you being a kinda weird person, what was your reasoning for enjoying this particular post so much?
This response by a former disneyland employee in response to a question about whether he had experienced any magical moments during his time. Never fails to make me cry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's not, it's choosing to perceive practices as containing alterior motives when that's not the reality. You know nothing about game development if you believe that games are purposefully cut up and sold to us later. That makes no sense from a game development standpoint. And it's not like DLC is stabilizing costs in a market with exponentially rising expenses, no they must all be bullshit huh? And it's not like pre-orders actually helps devs obtain additional funds from their publishers and investors, they're all bad too right?
Have fun living in your circlejerk fantasy that has no basis in reality. Must be fun.
Read a book or watch videos about the process of making games before making huge generalizations that shows your lack of understanding of the medium you partake in.
I'm not saying this is true for every company out there. But there are a few companies who will sell buggy or incomplete-feeling games and then later put out a "dlc" that fixes the bugs and adds the content that makes the game feel actually complete. This makes the player base feel used and resentful and it's a shitty way to run a project.
That being said, many companies don't do that. They respect their customers and give the best product they can. (Shoutout to blizzard. I have a lot of respect for the Overwatch team because of how they're handling the game and any additional content they add) This is a great way to get a loyal following across multiple titles and actually leads to greater success, but is much more difficult than promising a great, complete game and then churning out something terrible and then soon releasing dlc to smooth out and refine the game for some quick cash.
I know quite a bit about game development, by the way. I'm studying to be a game developer and I've watched plenty of documentaries on the subject.
I'm not calling out anyone in particular nor saying that all games are crap. So unwad your underpants and stop overreacting to something that some guy wrote on the internet.
But there are a few companies who will sell buggy or incomplete-feeling games and then later put out a "dlc" that fixes the bugs and adds the content that makes the game feel actually complete. This makes the player base feel used and resentful and it's a shitty way to run a project.
You realize that not only is it unrealistic and improbable to release games with no minor bugs, but that also any game that has had huge issues were fixed, for free, over time? Why would players feel cheated when most games that are actually broken at launch are worked on and fixed for free? Yes it sucks, but rarely if ever is nothing done about it. Not once has a company charged to fix their game after launch. Games are infinitely complex, not everything will be caught. The issues, minor and major, are worked on past launch. Refunds are always an option as well. And "adds additional content that makes the game feel complete" is an entirely subjective and biased interpretation.
but is much more difficult than promising a great, complete game and then churning out something terrible and then soon releasing dlc to smooth out and refine the game for some quick cash.
This scenario is rare, and definitely the exception not the rule. That statement can also be very opinionated, as what is a "good, complete" game is entirely subjective.
I know quite a bit about game development, by the way. I'm studying to be a game developer and I've watched plenty of documemtaries on the subject.
Funny then that you're contributing to toxic mentalities and mindsets that gamers have, making generalizations that harm the very systems put in place to make gaming a sustainable market plagued by rising costs. Why would you post a video that harms the industry you want to get into?
I'm not making a generalization, but this is something that happens from time to time that a lot of people get really upset by. And there's no harm at poking fun at bad practices that many avid gamers are already aware of.
That being said, many companies don't do that.
I know that this is the exception and not the rule, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it. This practice won't stop if we all say "oh well, shit happens."
Why would you post a video that harms the industry you want to get into?
On the contrary, I think talking about these practices will help the industry. Predatory practices like this go a long way in turning people away from gaming. However, making high-quality content and not overpromising what your game will offer, as well as making an effort to make the game as enjoyable as possible, helps establish a good reputation for studios that will encoirage players to keep spending money on any purchasables in the game itself, as well as create a loyalty among the fan base that keeps them coming back for new titles.
but this is something that happens from time to time that a lot of people get really upset by. And there's no harm at poking fun at bad practices that many avid gamers are already aware of.
What bad practices? What game has been released completely broken and still hasn't even been attempted to be fixed yet? Is this the only bad practice you're thinking of? Because that's pretty unsubstantiated.
On the contrary, I think talking about these practices will help the industry.
Don't act like this video was some well thought out critique of the gaming industry. It's literally rooted in short sighted ignorance and generalizing to make sweeping statements about complex systems within the industry. It's contributing nothing to the conversation, it's a tired circlejerk at best.
Predatory practices like this go a long way in turning people away from gaming.
What practices?
However, making high-quality content
What a subjective sentiment.
and not overpromising what your game will offer, as well as making an effort to make the game as enjoyable as possible, helps establish a good reputation for studios that will encoirage players to keep spending money on any purchasables in the game itself, as well as create a loyalty among the fan base that keeps them coming back for new titles.
You keep talking in opinionated terms. Like, no shit "make a good game, make it fun, then people would like it" that doesn't need to be clarified, that's what every game company believes they're doing.
It's a subjective field, man. Entertainment and art are pretty subjective. But when there's a general consensus that something feels incomplete or sloppy, it's usually alright to call it incomplete or sloppy.
predatory practices
I'd like to direct you to this article about a couple incomplete games where the real ending was in paid dlc. These practices aren't good for the consumer or the studio in the long run.
what a subjective statement
Firstly, "high-quality" is not subjective. Is a bench that falls apart when you sit on it high quality? Is a water heater that spits out cold water high quality? An incomplete game or a game with game-breaking bugs is not high quality. Similarly, a game with no extreme bugs; a coherent, thought-out story with an ending that wraps it up; and crisp mechanics; is a very high-quality game.
Secondly, don't just point out that a statement is subjective to imply that it must be incorrect and then dismiss it completely.
"Make a good game, make it fun"
That's not what I said. I said "making an effort to make the game as enjoyable as possible" this means things like tying up the story, cleaning up major bugs, and listening to your fan base after release and putting out patches as necessary.
And you're right. The gif isn't a well thought-out and eloquent reproach of specific companies for shady practices. It was supposed to be an exaggeration of the practices of a few studios, made to poke fun at these laughable development models. It was a joke. But then you flew off the handle like I was attacking you directly when really, all that gif is saying is "hey, sometimes games feel like this. Doesn't it suck when that happens?"
I'd like to direct you to this article about a cokuple incomplete games where the real ending was in paid dlc. These practices aren't good for the consumer or the studio in the long run.
Too bad these examples aren't actually endings being locked behind DLC, you're just choosing to perceive it as such to support your argument. Fallout 3 was a complete, finished game, that had additional content after release. This does not mean it's incomplete in any way, even if you didn't personally like the route the story took. DLC continuing the story after the fact doesn't mean it was "unfinished" or that "the true ending was behind a paywall". Are you fucking kidding me? You're seriously trying to link clickbait articles/videos to prove your point?
An incomplete game or a game with game-breaking bugs is not high quality.
And again, what games have released "incomplete" or with "game breaking bugs" that wasn't fixed by devs?
"Make a good game, make it fun" That's not what I said. I said "making an effort to make the game as enjoyable as possible" this means things like tying up the story, cleaning up major bugs, and listening to your fan base after release and putting out patches as necessary.
So give examples of recent game releases that haven't done this.
It was supposed to be an exaggeration of the practices of a few studios, made to poke fun at these laughable development models. It was a joke. But then you flew off the handle like I was attacking you directly when really, all that gif is saying is "hey, sometimes games feel like this. Doesn't it suck when that happens?"
Yeah, "laughable development models" that have sustained the industry despite rapidly growing costs? The problem here is that the GIF is making a generalized statement over the systems themselves, instead of their implementation from individuals. It's making the implication that all of these systems, micros, DLC, pre-order incentives, etc. are inherently bad, and that is not a healthy mentality to develop in the gaming industry. These systems are the reason games aren't $100+ each.
I was in a very dark place in my life when I first read the "Today you, tomorrow me" story. It was the first thing I saved, and I try to remember to reread it as often as I can to remind me of the path that I have changed my life to try to walk.
I live in Colorado, have most of my life. And goddammit do people not understand zipper merges here. Additionally, we have a million entitled assholes in giant SUV's who cut in line and try to merge right at the front. I fucking hate Colorado drivers when it comes to lane closures.
I seriously think we're the worst drivers. I don't fucking get it. Cruising 55 in the left lane, no turn signals, no space when there's a red so we don't block the fucking intersection, no one can use a fucking roundabout. Goddamn what the fuck Colorado get it together.
I regularly use my Japanese launch PS2 for music games. Its age is more and more apparent each time and waiting for the logo now is a bit of an art. There are times when it's just too long and you know you gotta reset and try again.
Poor fella. Not sure what I'm gonna do when it eventually craps out.
NSFW This psychological anyalsis of a vagina tattoo
aol_cd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what they'd have to say about the woman I met in New Orleans. She asked me if I'd ever seen a fire crotch. I said no. She showed me the flames she had tattooed on her labia.
Late to the party, but I saw this comment by /u/The_Dr_Seussifyer when I had just come back from a very low point in my life, and it felt as if he'd written it just for me.
We've only had one exchange personally, but they seem like a wonderful person. If nothing else, I hope that they are happy wherever they might be.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:49:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brazzers Christmas Special 2016.
Here are some torrent links. These work fine, the gif is from part 1, and part 4 also includes most of Lena Paul's stuff. Part 2 and 3 are quite meh altough there's no reason not to check them out if you want the full 'story'.
I've never really had a minimum size requirement, but I do like big nipples. It's like having two extra clitorises to play with!
I'll be happy with science when I can take a pill that would give me another inch and a little more girth. I'm perfectly happy to be average, but it would be fun to have just a little more.
Porn star cocks are generally disgusting to me. I don't understand the appeal for either sex. They're veiny and bibulous, most actresses can barely fit them in their mouth, and they never get completely hard.
Where's the fun in a blow job if she can only suck on the heard? How many women would enjoy being fucked by a half-limp kielbasa? It just doesn't seem like a good time for anyone.
Do you know of a good site for smut from the late seventies to early 80's? The stuff out there now is repulsive to me. I'd pay for a site with high-res scenes from Classic films.
Hell, I bought a Blu-Ray of "The Young Like It Hot" because it has one of my favorite scenes of all time between Hyapatia Lee and Eric Edwards.
I don't really watch any old stuff. You're best bet is to go on pornhub or similar website and search for vintage. Xhamster and spankbang have a lot of stuff you may not see elsewhere too.
I've been going to xhamster, but the resolution on the older stuff is usually pretty low, and watching it in a window smaller than a postcard is not ideal. :-)
I've been meaning to check out PornHub, but I don't want to pay if their selection is limited. Thanks, I'll take a look.
402266 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:19:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd really like to know the story behind this. Or maybe find a way to send it to my friends in the middle of the night from a different number. No explanation, just this pic and then they never get a follow up.
Or possibly this person's epic journey through seeing a smoked pork roast made on a grill, to making the roast, to final fall off the bone pictures of an incredible peice of meat. Commentary and updates included. Tried it myself, and now it is my go to party dish. https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/2jiuva/z/clc893a
Not OP, but my husband makes panfried pork chops with a blackberry and balsamic pan sauce. My very, very favorite food.
Edit: here ya go folks. Credit to an allrecipes user for original inspiration.
Preheat oven to 200 degrees Fahrenheit
Porkchop spices:
4- 4 oz. Boneless pork chops
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp sage
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Combine and coat chops well on both sides.
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
Melt together over med high, cook 4-5 min each side, turning once (cooking time varies based on thickness). After cooking, put chops on baking sheet into preheated oven to keep warm.
Sauce: IN SAME PAN
1/4 cup SEEDLESS blackberry jam
2 tbsp orange juice
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
Bring to boil, cook 2-3 min, or until desired consistency. Will thicken on standing.
one gif that gives so much deliciousness. I've done all four multiple times, some minor adjustment was done but they're great even in their most basic forms.
Moeith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A watermelon.
And I'll tell ya why. You're walking down the street, someone tries to rob you. "Gimme all your money!". You don't. You don't have any money. You only have a watermelon. Tell them that. They'll give you a funny look, a sigh of disappointment, then walk away. Robbers have no interest in watermelons. It's a proven fact.
So you keep walking. The sounds of scuffling feet grab your attention. There's a basketball game going on. Not one second later you hear a POP! Someone killed the basketball. Everyone is sad. You casually walk into the situation, whip out your watermelon, then, with an air of cool confidence, say "hey guys it's alright, I got it covered". Watermelons make the perfect basketball replacement. It's a proven fact. You play a few games, not too aggresively, but not too amateur either. The vibe gets intense. Everyone's attention is on you and your mad watermelon skills. The women are giddy with joy, the men are blowing you kisses. With a quick nod and a warm smile, you resume your travels.
You see a crackhead passed out on the sidewalk. "ARE YOU OKAY?!". No response. You spy a crack pipe nearby and place it into their mouth. You put your watermelon inside ever so softly, and light it up. The fumes release. The chemicals hit. He jolts awake. "What have I done?!". He runs off into the horizon. Later on you discover that he ran all the way to Brazil, where he cleaned up and started a successful business of breeding and selling parakeets. Watermelons have been known to help with crack addiction. It's a proven fact.
You're getting tired. There's a coffee shop close by. You step in. You order a venti latte. "$4.75" she says. Bummer. You still have no money. You start to walk away. "Wait a second... Is that... Is that...A watermelon?". Her gaze is intense. Her interest is piqued. You present the truth. She goes nuts. "Omigod omigod can I hold it, CAN I HOLD IT??". You submit to her desire. She's thrilled, elated, even slightly aroused. Baristas LOVE watermelons. Proven fact. "Omg that was so awesome, btw that venti you ordered, it's on the house". Boom. You win.
Outside again. Strolling briskly. You hear screams. You hear crying. You hear sirens. The mall is on fire. "MY BABY IS INSIDE MY BABY IS INSIDE!!". There's an older woman freaking out. Her baby is inside. "What's going on?" you ask a nearby policemen. "Her baby is inside" he says. He won't go save it because he's allergic to fire. "I can't save it, I'm allergic to fire" he tells you. "Where are all the firemen?" you handsomely inquire. "It's their day off".
Duty calls. You run into the mall. It's on fire. You throw your watermelon at Sears. Watermelons are made of water, so the flames extinguish. You throw it at Hot Topic. You throw it at Ross. You throw it at every single store. Taco Bell is giving out free tacos, so you eat a few. Then you find a baby in the bathroom. Seems okay, so you put him in your pocket. The mall is totally dead and you get bored, so you leave. You remember that you have a baby in your pocket, and you also remember that lady saying her baby was inside. "I think this is yours?" you say as you hand the baby to her. She's pretty happy.
The day is almost over. You feel a little lonely, so you talk some shit with your watermelon. It's a good friendshipโ. It listens well. All in all, a fairly good day. Nothing went wrong, all thanks to your watermelon."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:08 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something Dwight Shrute would say
Much like Fifa, we should just let Iceland handle it: tiny nation in the middle of the ocean, internationally-focused, reasonably well-educated population, a proven cultural distaste for corruption compared to most western states - it seems a good fit, to me.
Also, the thing is (and I mean no offense to the Icelandic), I've been there, and the place is just fucking depressing. Didnt care for it, really. Sure they have waterfalls and rocks, but there are basically no trees. They've planted some, but a country with no trees is just that, depressing. It's dark for months at a time and those poor people have no life in them, just moping along on their fishing boats and tourist buses, listening to death metal and masturbating to viking lore, waiting impatiently to die. The ones who aren't depressed are mentally broken, and really, exceptionally strange. Point being, I don't think most of them have the drive to be corrupt, because why bother?
Actually, it might do them good to get offered bribes, make them feel like someone cares about them. I imagine if they did get illicit money they'd just use it to do some useless thing or other "for the whales."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
WR810 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 09:24:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing I saved to Reddit was this poem written by /u/lesser_panjandrum. Unfortunately it was buried in a comment chain and no one saw it. I share it ever time these "what do you have saved" Ask Reddit threads pop up.
I met a friend from an antique house
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of cellulite
Are shown in the bathroom. Near them, in the frame,
Half sunk, a shattered vagina lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lips, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its photographer well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on this lifeless thing,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandia, queen of queens:
Look on my vagina, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level flesh stretches far away.
Edit: I should add that the context was this girl's mother had a fully nude, non-tasteful picture of herself in the family bathroom, vagina and all.
But it's hardly adapted it at all!
Literally the only words that are changed are
traveller - friend
land - house
stone - cellulite
visage - vagina
sculptor - photographer
Ozymandia(s)
king - queen
sand - flesh
It doesn't do anything clever or make sense or satirise the original in any way or take it in a new direction. I love poetry and I love writing about women's bodies, but I don't understand why this is supposed to be clever or meaningful :(
If it helps, I think it was originally a reply to a story about the hubris of someone having a framed photo of their vagina in their bathroom.
In any case, I don't think it was ever meant to be particularly deep or meaningful. Sometimes you just want to introduce more vaginas to Percy Shelley, and really who could be blamed for that?
SK8_JAX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my Saved section, but I need help finding a classic.
It was a topless girl in front of a webcam. She started off taking her shirt and was smiling while twisting her shoulders gently side to side. Then it slowly escalated to where she went into a violent fit as if she were possessed!
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:55 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My nameโs Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, itโs a way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read โthinking fast and slowโ. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.
Thatโs about it man. Thereโs so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but thatโs not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but heyโฆ I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you canโt remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.
Much love back! Someone linked to that comment like 4 months ago. I read it and it has seriously changed my life. I was going through one of many serious bouts of suicidal ideation. Your write-up gave me a vision of a different self. I had always struggled with ceaseless thoughts of how burdensome, useless, pathetic and undeserving of love I was. I never turned those nasty thoughts on others, it was always self-targeting. Well, thinking about the poor, neglected past-me gave me empathy for myself. The thoughts of future-me being another person engaged my eager willingness to help a friend. And now, for the first time in decades, I feel HOPE. I feel growth. I feel strength. I feel joy. I feel love. Thank you u/ryans01
I should have mentioned your name as well. I was dumb and posted it as a direct link. A lot of people have found it helpful. It's very simple advice but very motivating. I found the post a year or so ago and saved it. I'm just like the guy the advice was given to. I have low self-esteem and find myself no caring about myself. This post reminds me to help myself. It may be a little difficult to explain but I just know I relate to the guy a lot and your post helps me a lot. So, thank you for these words and hopefully you are still giving this amazing advice when you can.
ryans01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, much love!
seipounds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:13 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman who light was snuffed out far too early.
I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.
Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.
Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like sheโs gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. Youโre both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.
You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.
One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea. But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all youโre keeping here with you.
What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye.
Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. Sheโs louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. Youโve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. Youโve got morning wood. Itโs not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now youโe in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like sheโs gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesnโt bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if sheโs starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly itโs excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.
Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. Sheโs having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that sheโs gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that sheโs gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, sheโs experiencing an orgasm. You canโt help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.
You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize heโs about to cry. After all thatโs happened, you donโt to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anneโs semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You canโt resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anneโs opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, sheโs somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. Youโre afraid heโll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anneโs fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but itโs for the best. She hasnโt been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. Youโre safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the nightโs events to your parents and hope they donโt kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.
Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest Iโve ever gotten. Oh, I think Iโm gonnaโฆ Iโm gonna-
Cums in Diary
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 11:22:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/GSnow once wrote something that I have read during hard times.
He said:
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
bfern00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly the longest joke I've ever read. By the time you're half way through it you forget it's supposed to be a joke. Take some time to read the whole thing it's so worth it.
The link isn't directing towards the saved comment and I'm on mobile but it was made by vargas : Wal-Mart shopper (and ugly woman), here.
The reason I wear revealing clothes when I go to Wallyworld is because such attire is easy to remove in a hurry. Why would such a thing be necessary? Well, you just never know when struggle for the last oversized container of Great Value cheese balls will turn physical. When it does, I want to be nude because of the edge it will give me in a fight. You see, I'm 5/7 Armenian, so I'm naturally very oily. As my Nana would always say, "ีึ ีพีซีทีฟีถ ีงึ ีฑีฅีฆ ีดีกีทีฅีฌ, ีฟีกีถีปีฅีฌ" lol.
Anyway, my ethnic gift makes it difficult for an opponent to get a firm hold on me. I'm like a wet trout buttered in margerine, except I'm not nearly as delicious (though if my ex-husband is to be believed, I do taste of the river). Even if they do manage to grab a teet or hook my cameltoe, I can still wriggle around and rotate in my own skin to counterattack. Sort of like a honey badger. It goes without saying I'm naked as jaybird on Black Friday, too, but that's usually because I'm strung out on veterinary grade laxatives and fireball whiskey during most major holidays, as is tradition. Full disclosure, I usually black out, which is why I have seventeen flat screens.
Speaking of honey badgers, I also go for the groin first chance I get. That's not limited to bareknuckle brawls at Walmart, either. If I meet a nice man, you best believe I don't do none of that "third date" bullshit. Soon as I spot an opening, I'm face-planting into that crotch. Like I said, I'm ugly as shit (my Nana said I have a face only a mother could love, which doesn't make sense because I seem to recall mother hating me, particularly my face) so I got to use the skills at my disposal. Having a mouth like a Swedish breast pump is one of them. Juggling is another. The ability to tie an anchor hitch while blindfolded is one more. Knowing how to combine all three? Priceless.
Well, maybe not entirely priceless. Not so long ago, I was working my way through nursing school and needed money, so I actually did put a price on it. Fifteen dollars was my going rate. don't charge any more, though . You could say I do it pro boner now lmao. Man, I love penis.
I want to have a frank discussion about Nelly's 2005 banger, Grillz. The song focuses on oral jewelry, the eponymous "Grillz," as a display of wealth, power, and mid-2000's fashion. A "grill" describing a diamond- and gold-encrusted mouthpiece.
In the song, rapper Ali, a member of Nelly's St. Lunatics, raps "I've got a bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham." This particular line has kept me up nights for the past decade.
The initial conceit is obvious enough: a "bill" is a reference to money, and Ali wants the listener to know that the grill in his mouth costs a lot of money. Since the largest bill in circulation is $100, it's unclear to me whether Ali's grill only cost $100 or if he wants his audience to take a further leap and assume that "a bill" references several bills. I can't imagine $100 buys very many mouth diamonds.
The second half of the line proves particularly troubling. He invokes "Hillary Rodham," who, as of 2005, was a state senator for New York U.S. Senator for New York. It's possible that our civic-minded emcee wanted to invoke the imagery of Mrs. Rodham on the floor of the NY U.S. Senate, arguing for bills left and right. While she sponsored a couple hundred bills during her tenure, only one Hillary-sponsored bill was signed into law as of Grillz' release (according to govtrack.us). So, while it matches the "a bill" language, the line doesn't particularly invoke the large number of "bills" required to purchase a premium mouthpiece.
A wrinkle in this line is that Hillary's husband is William "Bill" Clinton. Thus, the line "bill in [his] mouth like [he's] Hillary Rodham" could easily be interpreted to relate to oral sex. This comparison is especially apt when you consider that Bill is infamous for receiving oral sex from a White House intern during his tenure as President. And perhaps this incident is even more infamous because the oral sex received came not from Hillary, but from a third party. In fact -- even 10 years after the incident -- any references to Bill Clinton, a mouth, and women inevitably lead listeners to his presidential scandal.
So, is Ali letting the rap community know that he enjoys giving oral sex? Or does his metaphor fall apart because, at least in this context, Hillary had no "Bills" in her mouth? Given the rampant homophobia of the mid-2000's rap community, I'm inclined to believe that Ali didn't mean to invoke any reference that might include him giving oral sex to a man. But then, why even go near the Bill/Hillary situation?
I've considered a third option regarding this half of the line, that Ali's invocation of Hillary Rodham and "bills" is a reference to her much-maligned Wall Street speeches. Hillary has received criticism for making private speeches to Wall Street in exchange for large speaking fees. The imagery of money for speeches lends itself well to having "bills in [your] mouth like . . . Hillary Rodham." When Hillary talks (you know, with her mouth), the bills flow freely. In fact, I'd argue that this interpretation provides the strongest metaphor for sporting an expensive grill.
But it's impossible for Ali to know this, as Hillary's speaking tour didn't really start in earnest until she left the State Department, roughly 8 years after Grillz dropped.
So, I'm left to draw one of three conclusions:
1) Ali's use of metaphor on the 2005 track Grillz was poor, at best, and he had no business rapping alongside Nelly, Paul Wall, and Jermaine Dupri.
2) Ali is a time-traveller, and uses his gift for low-key political commentary that's way ahead of its time.
3) I have entirely too much time on my hands.
EDIT: I have updated the post to properly reflect Clinton's position in the U.S. Senate. An earlier version of this analysis named her as a state senator. My apologies to HRC, consider the record corrected.
Further, in response to the idea that "bill" refers to "a billion dollars." Come on. There's no way these guys were contemplating spending a billion dollars on grills. That's preposterous.
There were many buried in my old account, until i had to delete it. This is the only post I felt so amazed by that I had saved its link in my notepad externally.
You are Death. On the last day of the Universe, all the lights are gone, and you have one more soul to usher into your realm, before the doors close forever... It's none other than your oldest opponent, "Life". [WP]
She looked out over the abyss and saw it was beautiful. There was no more stars, no more planets or galaxies spinning in the sky. The gods in the sky and even time itself had fallen to their knees for her. She was the ultimate keeper, after all, obsessed with what the end would bring her. In her state, she was almost giddy with excitement, with the thought of what she was about to do. She felt like a child on Christmas or a teenager finally asking their date to the homecoming dance. If she had been human, she would have been dancing with joy at the end of all things. She could see the little blip of light just out of her reach on the horizon. That's where she would find him, waiting for her like an old lover.
He sat with his toes in the stream, his little oasis all but empty, the babbling brook the only sound in the universe. He knew that soon she would come and they would finally be together forever. He had waited for this day for as long as he could remember, knowing that she would save him till the very end. It was poetic, in a way. Terribly sappy and clichรฉd, but at least at last they could finally embrace, even if she had to devour the forces of the universe to get to him.
Cupping his hands together, he breathed gently into them, a small field mouse now sitting in his ebony colored palm. He smiled at the tiny mouse, knowing that this was the last life that he would ever create. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he turned his eyes towards the other side of the creek, his heart practically jumping out of his chest when he saw her in her beautiful black dress, billowing in the breeze of the cosmos. She was just as beautiful as the day that he had set eyes on her. How cruel they had to stay apart for so long, only to meet at the edge of the universe.
"Hello, Dahlia." His voice rumbled like an avalanche spilling over the mountains, "Long time."
She nodded slightly, her bright blue eyes staring at him as her pale hair brushed past her pink lips, "It's good to see you again, Lazarus."
He stood and put the field mouse down into the grass. The little creature took one look at Dahlia and jumped into the water. Not knowing how to swim, its poor little body was instantly washed away by the current. A few moments went by and suddenly, a tiny nose poked out from beneath her dress. She stooped down to pick it up and it licked her nose, making her smile. "I missed you." She admitted, the mouse disappearing into a puff of smoke, "It's been..."
"12 trillion years, give or take a billion," He said with a laugh, "But I guess everything must end. Even me, my dear."
She smiled sadly, and nodded, "As much as I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it was the only way I could get to you. I couldn't wait any longer."
"Did you like the gifts I sent to you?" He asked, wringing his hands nervously.
"Of course! I think the elephants were my favorites," She admitted, brushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear, "So majestic and strong. Where did you come up with those?"
"I wanted something big to impress you," He responded, taking a step into the water that had now slowed to a trickle, "Did it?"
"Of course! Everything you made impressed me." She said, reaching her hand out to him. He took it and felt as if he was touching an electric socket. His body instantly convulsed and his heart ceased to be. The world was fading as Dahlia pulled him in and for the first time in eternity, finally found the other's embrace. "I love you, Lazarus. Thank you for waiting."
"I would have waited forever, my Dahlia." He gasped as their lips connected. The light on the horizon faded and like the beginning, everything went to black.
Am I the only one who kept on scrolling down just looking for dem NSFW comments? :p
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A post of a girl on /r/loseit who went from my starting weight to my goal weight. We have the same hair color and body shape. When I need a boost to my motivation and willpower, I look back at her post to see what I will most likely look like at goal.
Oh hello! I'm glad I could be an inspiration to you. Ive kept off my weight for over 4 years now. ;) Keep on working towards your goal, once you get there it's so easy to maintain. Good luck!
awb_67 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, first seven years of life were devoted to cider and Johnny Appleseed like a cult. I like cider and all but the Johnny Appleseed worship they used to inject into all Fort Wayne children is bizarre.
In preschool you start decorating construction paper apples. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You eat heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, they take you to visit his cabin. Or a reconstruction. I don't know. You are all in bare feet for some reason.
In Kindergarten you learn songs about Johnny Appleseed that I'm just now realizing were lesser-known carols about Santa but with the lyrics changed to be about Johnny Appleseed. Most of them don't even mention apples directly. They're mostly about walking barefoot and planting trees. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You have heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, you go to his cabin. Barefoot.
In first grade you cut out and decorate construction paper overalls. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You have heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, my teacher learns that my grandmother, who is a paranoid schizophrenic, lives in an apartment very close to one of Appleseed's reputed death spots. I refuse to reveal any information beyond name, rank, and serial number, because Johnny Appleseed is weird enough without dragging a woman into it who lately believes that Holly Hobby is her guardian angel. So instead we visit the cabin. Barefoot. I start to notice that apples themselves are rarely mentioned except in relation to cider.
No, it's all cider - which we can't drink, even though I drink cider at home - and nobody is really eating any of the apples, either. It's about being barefoot, wearing overalls, and walking around planting trees. The same lessons. Every year. The weird songs. Why can't we wear shoes. Why don't they ever say his real name. Why are there fifteen different grave sites and cabins. Why are we eating gross bitter apple mash instead of planting trees somewhere. Why do I never hear anything about Johnny Appleseed at home, even though my mom, my aunt, and my uncle went to the same school and had the same teachers? I'd ask questions about skipping any of the monthly Johnny Appleseed days at school, like Johnny Appleseed-themed Book Fair, and they'd change the subject and roll their eyes.
Then we moved to Colorado and there was no more talk of Johnny Appleseed. The lack of Appleseed was a little jarring at first, but I sure didn't miss it.
Edit: Have realized that this exactly coincides with the 125th anniversary of his death. I hope this explains the intensity with which the city's Johnny Appleseed czars (they exist) indoctrinated us. I really do hope.
Second Edit: /u/yaforgot-my-password has reminded me that we also wore saucepans on our heads. Entire classes of young children, barefoot, wearing overalls and saucepans, arranged onto rows, singing "Here comes Appleseed, Here comes Appleseed, planting all his trees!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An Ask Reddit thread where someone asked if anyone could photoshop Scarlett Johansson making out with herself. The inspiration for the post is hilarious and also the photoshops.
"Protip: "Shape of You" is better if you imagine he's talking to a piece of pizza"
-unknown user
This:
"Mate it is midday in Europe everyone at work is sitting on the toilet taking shots over the atlantic"
-unknown user
And this:
'Set to it, get through it, and do it!' he cried:
'Remember the lessons I taught you in pride!
Of course you'll enjoy it! Of course you'll have fun!
... But make it a win, or you're dead to me, son.'
Im nearly half a year on Reddit and this post is my first 'saved' and favorite one. What great stories to read. It made me laugh and some even made me shed a tear. Reddit is beautiful!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This riddle, meant to be asked verbally. from /u/MHG73 :
You're driving a bus with six passengers. The bus comes to a stop on Main Street, four people get off and seven new people get on. At the next stop on West Street, three people get off and two get on. At the third stop on East street, six people get off the bus and five people get on. What color are the bus driver's eyes?
In an ask reddit thread asking what are some useful tips on everyday things someone said you can link together subreddits with a +, and /u/elduderinodude posted this:
If you continue reading, you'll see there are a number of contradicting editorials written by the same people.
ca2co3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even go on anymore. This is retarded
Yeah I bet you can't, you got 40 more to go and there are some MINT ones in there!
2/45
Oh but something very important to the story happened between July 6th and October 29th. Can you recall what it is? It makes these screen shots especially hilarious.
3/45
This isn't just MSM screen shots, it includes people like Laci Green.
4/45
This one is hilarious because Politico said that Breitbart is "the closest thing the US has ever had to a state-run media enterprise" because of the close relationship with the administration. The email from wikileaks is written by an editor at Politico and was sent to Hillary's campaign and it says "because I have become a hack i will send u the whole section that pertains to u. Please don't share or tell anyone I did this. Tell me if i fucked up anything." So we have Politico collaborating in secret with the campaign to coordinate their message and giving the campaign veto power over the language in the story. Sounds a little like a "state-run media enterprise". If one were perceptive they might even consider this collusion.
5/45
Check the posting dates. Before the election it was "impossible to rig". After the election it was rigged (Hillary, the candidate this newspaper was helping get elected, lost). LOL! This is "Ministry of Truth". If it helps them it's printed regardless of accuracy and if it helps them later to print the literal opposite, they do so, hoping no one has the attention span to notice.
When you start controlling for things(like majors), the wage gap disappears entirely
Wrong.
Stanford study.
However, even controlling for experience and whatever other qualifications can readily be measured, there tends to be a pay difference between men and women that is not explained and is potentially due to discrimination.
~41% is unexplained even after you control for education, experience, race, occupational category, industry category, union status.
But, even controlling for current hours worked, as well as an extensive list of worker qualifications and other covariates, including family status, race, location, grades while in law school, and detailed work history data, such as practiced law, months of part-time work, and type and size of employer, a male advantage of 13% remained.
From the US Government Accountability Office
In 2003, GAO found that women, on average, earned 80 percent of what men earned in 2000 and workplace discrimination may be one contributing factor.
The regression analyses relate individualsโ annual earnings to many variables thought to influence earnings, such as number of hours worked, occupation, education, and experience.
Department of Labor link with a huuuuuge number of links to other sources.
Decades of research shows a gender gap in pay even after factors like the kind of work performed and qualifications (education and experience) are taken into account. These studies consistently conclude that discrimination is the best explanation of the remaining difference in pay.
HuffPo
The American Association of University Women researched the income of graduates just one year out of college and found that men had greater starting salaries than women across the board -- even when the comparisons were drawn from graduates who had the same majors and work in the same jobs in the same sectors.
Women that negotiate are viewed negatively.
Women worry that pushing for more money will damage their image. Research shows they're right to be concerned: Both male and female managers are less likely to want to work with women who negotiate during a job interview.
This is all thanks to stereotypes that you are helping to perpetuate. "Women don't do certain things." So when women do break those stereotypes, it upsets you and you dislike them for it. Women are treated differently even when they act the same as men. These double standards are common as hell. A woman who stands up for herself and is assertive is a bitch. A man who does it is a leader, give that man a raise!
Here's a study out of Harvard showing the same thing.
This happens even when men aren't negotiating or asking for raises.
Unfortunately, women can't overcome an initially low raise by negotiating because the corporate budget has already been spent. In many companies, each manager receives a budget for raises that is then divided among employees. All workers are notified at the same time (or over a very short time period) of their increases. Because every penny has already been allotted, there is no money left to give to someone who questions a small raise. Managers won't typically go to an employee with a higher raise and say, "Oops! Jane needs a few more bucks, so we're taking a percent off your raise and giving it to her!"
This was after an experiment involving managers and raises on men and women of equal qualifications. This was before anyone negotiated or asked for anything. The managers just gave it to the men first. In fact, more than 70% was simply given to men leaving only 30% for the women. Seems fair! And once they used up the budget on raises for men, women got what was leftover. How can you negotiate for something that no longer exists?
You regressive troglodytes in here hide behind "dark" humor as a way of just being bigoted assholes. As made fucking clear as day by the fact that you loooove to make humor about minorities and women but as soon as anyone attempts to make a single joke about white guys you get defensive as shit. You can dish it out but you can't take it. And despite labeling everyone you hate as "feels over reals" it's pretty fucking obvious to anyone who actually knows the facts that the only people doing that is you.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man that picture really pissed you off didn't it? While I'm busy so I'm not going to go googling all over the internet for sources that agree with my point, I'll clear up points you've made against me specifically.
You regressive troglodytes in here hide behind "dark" humor as a way of just being bigoted assholes.
Name calling
Dark humor is hilarious, if you don't like it don't read it. It's not intended to be taken seriously, it's not received as serious. That's what encompasses a good dark joke. I'm up front with exactly what I think, and there are people that know who I am on here. I'm not gonna hide just because someone got triggered and is being assertive, or as you put it, "a bitch", on the internet. You can have your opinions and I'll have mine, welcome to America.
As made fucking clear as day by the fact that you loooove to make humor about minorities and women but as soon as anyone attempts to make a single joke about white guys you get defensive as shit. You can dish it out but you can't take it.
I don't "loooove" to make humor about minorities and women, I enjoy humor about snowflakes. I'm sure you've read my comment history and the jokes I've made about the ever-expanding LGBTQ+ community's acronym. So surely, you must have missed the part where I clear as day said that I support the LQBT community entirely. What I don't support is the ridiculous things that are getting pushed into the group just to get some extra stage time. I believe in equality for all people regardless of any of their attributes, and I do mean regardless of their attributes, but I'm not going to recognize you as battleship-kin. There's your dark humor (p.s it's a joke, don't take it seriously). Point being I don't think you deserve extra attention because you're gay, or black, or genderfluid, and I don't think you deserve to be forgotten because you're a straight white dude. We're all people, and we're all equally worthless on this giant chunk of spacerock in the middle of nowhere.
White jokes are funny as hell what are you talking about?
And despite labeling everyone you hate as "feels over reals" it's pretty fucking obvious to anyone who actually knows the facts that the only people doing that is you.
I never said that phrase, you're making shit up and I'm sure this isn't the only place but I don't actually care enough to trace it, I just thought the fuckin picture was funny so lighten up
I don't actually care that much about the topic so no feels for me, sorry
have a good one and maybe put a little less salt in your eggs tomorrow morning, /u/ifeellikehittinawall
Edit: Found literally 2 minutes to find this vlogbros video, they're smarter guys than me that actually did their research, give it a gander.
Someone posted in r/confesion about having a hard time making the grades in MIT because he's not smart enough, and u/inri137 chimed in with this amazing response with a unique point of view.
It's a long read but it had really helped me throughout my academic life even til this day.
That's really excellent advice. One thing I would add is that if you have always been really "smart" and it all falls apart near the end of high school or beginning of university, consider getting tested for ADHD. I failed out of school several times, all because I had undiagnosed ADHD. Didn't get diagnosed until I was 35. Can't imagine what my life would have been the other way.
There are lots of pretty good self-tests on the internet. Could be worth checking out.
What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone? like no scars or anything, just flat skin and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night and then several days later, you find out that for your entire life your dad had been sneaking into your room while you slept and sucking on your chest to make two gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be because you were born without them not for any sexual reason, just so you would fit in
I cant find it in reddit but i saved it to a word document because it was so damn awesome:
Hey!
Okay. First things first. You have to calm down yourself. You can't do anything if you're stressed out. Here we go. It's something I recommend a lot around here. Find a quiet spot somewhere. Doesn't have to be your study place. Could be outside if the weather is fair. But it should be quiet and you don't get disturbed. Shut down all digital devices. No laptops. No cellphones. Nothing. You ready? Okay. Sit yourself down. Back straight. Don't slouch. Now, close your eyes. Shift your attention to your breathing. Try to focus on the air passing through your chest. You feel that? Don't change your breathing though. Just try to notice it without changing it. Keep it up. Keep doing that.
Okay. Now, you're mind is going to go bonkers. You won't be able to keep this up. After a minute or two, you're going to be thinking about all the other stuff in your life. But here's the thing. This is a game. Try to be aware of what is happening. Of the thoughts and feelings passing through your head. Instead of engaging with them, just notice that they pass through your brain and then shift your attention back to your breathing. Don't judge, don't feed your fear, don't feed your anxiety. Just notice and shift back to your breathing. Don't get frustrated if you feel you can't keep up. That's normal. Just keep trying.
Now, do this for the next 15 to 30 minutes. Congratulations. You just learned to meditate. You should practice that each and every day. Like, each evening before you go to bed. Or each morning before you get coffee. Your brain is like a muscle. Try to get from 15 minutes to 1 hour. That's a challenge.
Why is this important? Well, we all live in our own minds. We are easily distracted and then we start to ruminate and worry. If you indulge yourself into negative thinking, you're going to foster anxieties and fears and depression. The idea is to not feed those. Through meditation, you learn to become mindful, to become aware of what happens in your head. Of how you feel. And instead of focussing on a single narrative - like you flunking massively, and then going into depression and then going to die - you're going to take a distance of those negative thoughts and you're going to question them.
Seriously.
So. You flunk your exams. Your parents are angry with you. And now you are clueless about your life. And from there, it seems like a short step to death.
Doesn't that sound... a bit over the top? Let's break it down.
Will you automagically die if you fail? Nah. Not really. You'll still be alive. Probably your going have to redo those exams or those courses. Will your parents stay angry? Hmm... they've been angry before, do they stay angry? Nope. They might be disappointed, but that's to be expected. But being angry and disappointed, that's wasted energy. Your parents still love you to bits, they are just worried about you and your future. Summer is coming? Sweet! You had nothing to do? Hm... Why would that be? Did you plan in advance? Did you sit yourself down for an hour and think "what's the top 3 stuff I really want to do in the next few months"? Or were you just idling your time away only to notice afterwards "Fuck, I didn't do anything worthwhile and now I'm here"
Also, exams are like a tennis match. You play several sets. The outcome is determined by how many games and sets you win. Guess what. Tennis is a mental game. If you start losing games, you start to become anxious because you think "can't afford to lose more games, but dammit I've lost already, I'm not doing well, how am I going to win this? Never going to happen! Argh!!" See what I did there? Serena Williams wins because she doesn't think like that. Serena Williams wins because she goes "Lost that last game. Damn. Okay. Nothing I can do about that. But hey, I'm still good. I love doing this. I love my life. Let's see if I can win the next game." Totally different way of thinking. This is POSITIVE thinking compared to NEGATIVE thinking. And that's what makes all the difference in ANYTHING you do in life.
So, you probably fucked up at those last exams. You can't change anything about that. It happened. Don't beat yourself up. You still have work to do. Don't dwell on the past. Use meditative techniques to shift your focus to the present moment. You NEED to study for the next exam. You can DO this. Don't spend energy on whatever is distracting you. Stop worrying. Don't use digital devices. Don't watch television. Don't game. It's you and the book in front of you.
Take care of yourself!! Get in bed on time. Don't stay up late. Get 8 hours of solid shut-eye. You can't function if you don't sleep enough. Stay off the sugared soda's. Drink water. Hydrate regularly. Try to eat healthy stuff. Stay off sugared candy if you can. Sugar messes with your brain. Sugar addiction is a thing and makes you feel miserable. Make sure you get out! Get a 5 minute break after an hour of studying. Go for a walk. Don't stay inside on your chair. Move!! Try to get a routine in your day. Wake up at the same hour, study at the same hours. Be economic with your time! Try to work out twice a week. Go to the gym. Go running. Break a sweat in a sport you find fun and engaging. Exercise takes your mind of difficult stuff for a few hours. You NEED this if you want to keep going.
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You can't keep sprinting ALL the time. You need to pace. Don't try to cling onto your parents expectations of your studies if you feel you can't meet them. Own up to it and tell them you're in trouble if you feel like your working towards something unattainable. Don't keep pursuing a degree if you feel that this is not something within your own possibilities. Then you'd be only wasting your own precious time.
Do the work instead of thinking about off'ing yourself. That's all it is.
Best of luck!
EDIT
This is a bit overwhelming. I know mental health is a huge issue but I'm still surprised to see how much of an impact my comment has made. I would like to thank all of you profoundly for the upvotes, the kind replies and messages. I skimmed through the discussions here and in /r/bestof and I would like to add a few things.
Mindfulness is not a magic bullet. It won't 'cure' you magicallly after a few sessions of doing this. Think of it like brushing and flossing your teeth. You'll still have your feelings and emotions, but regular practice helps to keep away from spiralling off in unhealthy thinking patterns.
If you are diagnosed with a clinical condition - depression, BPD, ADHD,... - meditation won't cure you either. It could be a helpful tool, yes, but you'll still need to follow the medical treatment your therapist prescribed you.
I'm not a therapist. I'm someone pretty average. I reply to posts on /r/offmychest when they resonate with me. At one point or another, I too have struggled with similar issues (school, girls, job, health,...). I have an awesome therapist who taught me how to meditate without all the big theories. He organises a weekly sangha which I attend regularly.
I still find myself ruminating at times, because just like you, life has handed me my own set of problems and worries to deal with. I've learned to recognise that this is part of who I am as a human being. Approaching myself as a whole human being with kindness and compassion has been a huge step up for me. It's still not always easy, but then again, nobody ever said life would be easy.
I found that working out is a very extremely helpful. As a rockclimber, I have to be mindful if I attempt to send a route. Instead of losing myself in all the stuff that can go wrong or worrying about taking a 20 feet fall, I live in the present moment. I mentally reduce my world to myself, the rockface and the next move I'm about to make while I accept whatever will come in the next few seconds. I don't beat myself up if I don't get there at first. Sometimes, it takes multiple days or even weeks to tackle a hard route.
I've been born and raised into the christian belief system, but I'm not a relgious person. I found out that I do identify myself broadly with some of the tenets of Buddhism as I approach my own human experience.
As expected, my inbox has been wrecked. I can't promise you a reply, but I'll try to process them over the next couple of days / weeks.
I hope this discussion find its' way outside of Reddit too. So many have to deal with mental issues in silence. Addressing those issues is extremely challenging. Just being there for your friends or family who struggle and letting them know 'It's okay. I got you!' can already make all the difference in the world.
Well, I mainly use my saved section to archive my posts on /r/WritingPrompts but I do have this one from /r/ScenesFromAHat, "Text messages from drunk video game characters" by u/Javik2186
"Heyyyy, primitive? Come givve meee a huuuggg." \ อ 0 o โฟ o อ 0 /
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW - This Askreddit comment. The question was asking females what kind of porn they watch. One girl mentioned that she likes solo males, and particularly wants to see a dude fuck a giant gummy teddy bear. One brave man obliges with a glorious 12-minute video in which he fucks a 1-lb gummy bear to the tune of The Imperial March (Darth Vader theme song).
8luze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have hemorrhoids, and sometimes after I take a partucularly big shit, I have to stuff my asshole back in my body because it kind of hangs out of there. Really uncomfortable too.
Oh, and one time it was bleeding so bad I shot blood across the bathroom and onto the wall 6 ft away.
Fml...
First thing I ever saved
ssaa6oo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably late to the party but this is worth mentioning.
leliik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is my "favorite" thing in my saved section, as it's a bit morbid... but it's certainly a thing that I still think about from time to time. It was just, so... real. A man lost his wife, and found a note she had written to him, after she died.
But it's this GIF in particular that made me laugh hysterically for minutes.
The formality. The build up. The desperate fixing. The result. Toooo comical!
It's a PIP video that shows footage of a WWE PPV. It shows:
What the people watching the event at home see.
What people in the arena were seeing.
So some background, for Cruiserweight division matches the ropes and canvas in the ring are changed over to purple ropes and the cruiserweight canvas. This is a process that takes a few minutes for the ring crew at these events to do but for some reason this seemed to be taking longer than usual and Austin Aries(one of the cruiserweights) was making his entrance while the switchover was taking place.
Now the really cool bit is that while you can see the ring ropes being taped over from the live arena cam the people at home have no idea this is happening literally 2 feet behind the camera man who is filming the entrance ramp. The TV footage shows the commentary desk until Neville's entrace starts and the camera starts on the entrance ramp and follows Neville down to the ring but never shows the ring. it then cuts back to commentary and then back to Neville in the ring. In actuality the full ring crew is still in the ring right up to the last second when the camera cuts back to Neville in the ring and the TV audience is left none the wiser as to what actually happened.
Just a small thing with some TV trickery but it was really cool to see at the time.
I have a thread saved from r/grilledcheese from about 2 years ago and its this redditor who's furious about people not posting actual grilled cheeses but melts instead.
During freshman year at university, I went back to Texas for Thanksgiving break and found (big surprise) that my volatile, verbally abusive family had not changed one bit in my absence. After a day or so of painful arguments, insults, and constant derision, I bought myself a plane ticket back to Saint Louis on Thanksgiving day. Mind you, I was a dirt broke freshman college student at the time. The ticket cost a fortune, but I figured my sanity was worth more.
I left early on Thanksgiving day. I had no time to eat breakfast, and arrived at the airport too late to get a snack before my flight. By the time we landed, I was so famished, I nearly fainted.
I returned to campus devoid of life. Every person was gone. Every dining hall was closed. Every restaurant within walking distance was closed as well. Defeated, I entered my dorm building and went up to my room.
At some point, I decided to take my little wastepaper basket to the trash room. Sitting on top of the trash heap was a chicken quesadilla on a paper plate. It was cut into 6 pieces, and only 2 pieces had bites taken out of them. The quesadilla was cold and the cheese had congealed, but it didn't even seem stale - maybe an hour or two old. I snatched it up and took it back to my room.
I tore off the bite marks and ate the rest. I cried bitterly afterwards, thinking that I'd rather eat garbage on Thanksgiving than be treated like garbage.
It was a thread about your "ultimate fantasy" of course a lot of the answers were [NSFW] but mine was about how I wanted to be interviewed like I was someone famous, an author or musician and how I day dreamed about it all the time, turns out others had the same thing and it made me feel so inspired and not alone.
It always brings a smile to my face and the top comment thread became everyone posting their favorite comical instrument substitutes which are so amusing to me
I live in a country generally assumed to be a dictatorship. One of the Arab spring countries. I have lived through curfews and have seen the outcomes of the sort of surveillance now being revealed in the US. People here talking about curfews aren't realizing what that actually FEELS like. It isn't about having to go inside, and the practicality of that. It's about creating the feeling that everyone, everything is watching. A few points:
1) the purpose of this surveillance from the governments point of view is to control enemies of the state. Not terrorists. People who are coalescing around ideas that would destabilize the status quo. These could be religious ideas. These could be groups like anon who are too good with tech for the governments liking. It makes it very easy to know who these people are. It also makes it very simple to control these people.
Lets say you are a college student and you get in with some people who want to stop farming practices that hurt animals. So you make a plan and go to protest these practices. You get there, and wow, the protest is huge. You never expected this, you were just goofing off. Well now everyone who was there is suspect. Even though you technically had the right to protest, you're now considered a dangerous person.
With this tech in place, the government doesn't have to put you in jail. They can do something more sinister. They can just email you a sexy picture you took with a girlfriend. Or they can email you a note saying that they can prove your dad is cheating on his taxes. Or they can threaten to get your dad fired. All you have to do, the email says, is help them catch your friends in the group. You have to report back every week, or you dad might lose his job. So you do. You turn in your friends and even though they try to keep meetings off grid, you're reporting on them to protect your dad.
2) Let's say number one goes on. The country is a weird place now. Really weird. Pretty soon, a movement springs up like occupy, except its bigger this time. People are really serious, and they are saying they want a government without this power. I guess people are realizing that it is a serious deal. You see on the news that tear gas was fired. Your friend calls you, frantic. They're shooting people. Oh my god. you never signed up for this. You say, fuck it. My dad might lose his job but I won't be responsible for anyone dying. That's going too far. You refuse to report anymore. You just stop going to meetings. You stay at home, and try not to watch the news. Three days later, police come to your door and arrest you. They confiscate your computer and phones, and they beat you up a bit. No one can help you so they all just sit quietly. They know if they say anything they're next. This happened in the country I live in. It is not a joke.
3) Its hard to say how long you were in there. What you saw was horrible. Most of the time, you only heard screams. People begging to be killed. Noises you've never heard before. You, you were lucky. You got kicked every day when they threw your moldy food at you, but no one shocked you. No one used sexual violence on you, at least that you remember. There were some times they gave you pills, and you can't say for sure what happened then. To be honest, sometimes the pills were the best part of your day, because at least then you didn't feel anything. You have scars on you from the way you were treated. You learn in prison that torture is now common. But everyone who uploads videos or pictures of this torture is labeled a leaker. Its considered a threat to national security. Pretty soon, a cut you got on your leg is looking really bad. You think it's infected. There were no doctors in prison, and it was so overcrowded, who knows what got in the cut. You go to the doctor, but he refuses to see you. He knows if he does the government can see the records that he treated you. Even you calling his office prompts a visit from the local police.
You decide to go home and see your parents. Maybe they can help. This leg is getting really bad. You get to their house. They aren't home. You can't reach them no matter how hard you try. A neighbor pulls you aside, and he quickly tells you they were arrested three weeks ago and haven't been seen since. You vaguely remember mentioning to them on the phone you were going to that protest. Even your little brother isn't there.
4) Is this even really happening? You look at the news. Sports scores. Celebrity news. It's like nothing is wrong. What the hell is going on? A stranger smirks at you reading the paper. You lose it. You shout at him "fuck you dude what are you laughing at can't you see I've got a fucking wound on my leg?"
"Sorry," he says. "I just didn't know anyone read the news anymore." There haven't been any real journalists for months. They're all in jail.
Everyone walking around is scared. They can't talk to anyone else because they don't know who is reporting for the government. Hell, at one time YOU were reporting for the government. Maybe they just want their kid to get through school. Maybe they want to keep their job. Maybe they're sick and want to be able to visit the doctor. It's always a simple reason. Good people always do bad things for simple reasons.
You want to protest. You want your family back. You need help for your leg. This is way beyond anything you ever wanted. It started because you just wanted to see fair treatment in farms. Now you're basically considered a terrorist, and everyone around you might be reporting on you. You definitely can't use a phone or email. You can't get a job. You can't even trust people face to face anymore. On every corner, there are people with guns. They are as scared as you are. They just don't want to lose their jobs. They don't want to be labeled as traitors.
This all happened in the country where I live.
You want to know why revolutions happen? Because little by little by little things get worse and worse. But this thing that is happening now is big. This is the key ingredient. This allows them to know everything they need to know to accomplish the above. The fact that they are doing it is proof that they are the sort of people who might use it in the way I described. In the country I live in, they also claimed it was for the safety of the people. Same in Soviet Russia. Same in East Germany. In fact, that is always the excuse that is used to surveil everyone. But it has never ONCE proven to be the reality.
Maybe Obama won't do it. Maybe the next guy won't, or the one after him. Maybe this story isn't about you. Maybe it happens 10 or 20 years from now, when a big war is happening, or after another big attack. Maybe it's about your daughter or your son. We just don't know yet. But what we do know is that right now, in this moment we have a choice. Are we okay with this, or not? Do we want this power to exist, or not?
You know for me, the reason I'm upset is that I grew up in school saying the pledge of allegiance. I was taught that the United States meant "liberty and justice for all." You get older, you learn that in this country we define that phrase based on the constitution. That's what tells us what liberty is and what justice is. Well, the government just violated that ideal. So if they aren't standing for liberty and justice anymore, what are they standing for? Safety?
Ask yourself a question. In the story I told above, does anyone sound safe?
I didn't make anything up. These things happened to people I know. We used to think it couldn't happen in America. But guess what? It's starting to happen.
I actually get really upset when people say "I don't have anything to hide. Let them read everything." People saying that have no idea what they are bringing down on their own heads. They are naive, and we need to listen to people in other countries who are clearly telling us that this is a horrible horrible sign and it is time to stand up and say no.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A man dressed like Jimi Hendrix on a street corner playing for whom the bell tolls by Metallica while rapping to wu tang clan and calling it wutallica, sounds pretty badass
You bastard. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas... Iโll bet you couldnโt pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that wonโt go away. I would rather kiss a dick than be seen with you.
Youโre a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are an asshole, a cad, a weasel, a pissworm. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. Youโre a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep wonโt have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral[size] equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper.
On a good day youโre a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond
the laws of physics that we know. Iโm sorry. I canโt go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I donโt have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didnโt really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us โnormalโ people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are โchallengedโ persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldnโt have been โrightโ. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
It's definitely in there but my favourite is tricking a guy into thinking the lyrics to Stan were something call of duty related. Still gives me a chuckle thinking about it but reddit search has led nowhere.
The first one is hilarious. It's dirty, of course, but it's incredibly witty. Basically he's super attracted to his conservative coworker and he's a liberal. The second one is about how he's trying to work up the nerve to ask her out because he's been alone for a few years since his wife died. His description of their life together and her funeral is beautiful, so is his description of his coworker. It's clearly embellished, but it's really really well written and definitely worth reading.
AC911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread ๐
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love these threads!
A guy's girlfriend spent 3 months planning him the most amazing Harry Potter themed birthday party of all time. Even Universal could not have put on a better show. I know its a lot of photos, but its worth it.
DeckerR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Bee Movie recently came on Netflix, and me and my family decided to watch it for the meme. I largely enjoyed, but as the movie went on I noticed something sinister. The Bee Movie is fascist propaganda. My family thought I was insane but it's true. Let's look at the story here. Barry B. Benson, faced with the soul-sucking repetitiveness of proletarian life working for Honex, decides to try to free himself and goes outside of the hive. After doing outside stuff, he figures out that bees are being exploited by humans, because humans are expropriating their honey/surplus value. Barry, having achieved class consciousness, starts a lawsuit/proletarian revolution. Barry, with the help of the bee proletariat, wins. Post-scarcity is reached, and fully automated luxury bee communism is achieved. It should be paradise. However, this is not where the movie ends. Because of some bullshit mismanagement, bees just stop doing anything, including pollination. The world's vegetation begins to die, and Barry has to deal with the guilt of closing his class-traitor girlfriend's flower shop and spelling the end of life on earth as we know it. To solve the issue, the bees work with the humans to solve the crisis, and afterwards, bees continue to make honey and allow humans to use it. In other words, they solve their problems by ending fully automated luxury bee communism and promoting FUCKING CLASS COLLABORATION. How dare Jerry Seinfeld imply that fully automated luxury bee communism would doom us? How dare he try to tell us that fascist class collaboration is the answer? Who knew that by watching and sharing increasingly accelerating apian cinematic memes we were helping the enemy? I don't beelieve it.
I was 18 years old. I was at a company dinner for a computer store that I worked at at the time. We were going out of business, so they threw us one last hoorah at a steakhouse. Ribs, steaks, oh god it was so good.
I've been a teetotaller my entire life, so I was enjoying a root beer as usual. A really beautiful waitress came to my table to talk to us. I'd had 3-4 root beers at this point, so I was feeling really confident, and I said something like "So, uh, you...you like...waitressing?" or something equally clever.
Many mistakes were made that night, but the biggest one happened right here. After I asked her the question, I kept my eyes locked with hers to demonstrate my confidence, held my drink to my mouth, and tried to locate the straw with my lips instead of looking at it. My lips fished around the glass for the longest eight seconds of my life, and in that moment, time completely slowed down and this look of absolute horror grew across the waitress's face. With each passing second she realized what a complete fucking loser I am. I must have looked like a horse whispering something in French. By the time I actually found the straw, she got the hell out of there, and I was left alone slurping down my last root beer. There wouldn't be a single refill from that point on; I didn't need to ask to know it.
My friends made fun of me for years. I'm 29 now, and they still bring it up when we get together for dinner sometimes. I never used a straw again after that night.
The ATF controls permits for specialized guns in the US, there are lots of strange laws and rulings, this picture shows some of the dumber classifications things can fall into.
Yes, the top one is a rifle because it has a buttstock, it is considered an SBR (Short barreled rifle)
The middle one is no longer a pistol because of the forwards grip, but because there is no classification it easily falls into, it is labeled as AOW (any other weapon)
The last one is an AR Pistol, if you look at the stock you will see it is kind of thin and funny looking, an AR pistol can have any length barrel you want, but no stock. So the stock on this gun is actually a brace, meant to go against your forearm, the second you pull it to your shoulder, it is a felony.
Griffie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very first post. I was blown away by the number of responses. I go back and read portions of it every now and then. It's a humble reminder of just how fragile life can be.
EDIT: My post was in response, and not the original post. Mine ended up as the top post.
I like seeing how much real life information people save. Almost all of what I have saved are just pictures/gif/photo sets of cats. This is a really good gif of a lion. And this gif always makes me laugh.
There was a story on r/WritingPrompts by u/johanjacobobrien that I found fascinating. The prompt was "A genie just granted you your wish to be able to speak every language and you find that in your brain there is a language which belongs to aliens."
"I ate the babel fish, so to speak. I could converse with any person in the world, but I did not care. It was the extraterrestrial language, the immaculate order of the grammar, the melodic beauty of its sentences, the aesthetic beauty of its symbols that most captivated me.
I would attempt to speak to them. I remember, in my naivety, bellowing what must have sounded like glossolalia into the sky one evening when I was alone in my garden. I wanted an answer. I wanted to know where they were, who they were, what they were doing. My knees collapsed onto the soil, dust ascending, but no answer returned to me except for the silence of the luminous revolving wheel of the night.
It has been years since my vain attempts at communication. I got a job with the CIA because of my capacity for language and carried on with my life, but I never forgot about the alien speech. It took me a long time and much incredulity to realize that although I understood the language, I did not know its medium. For there are times now when I will occasionally see their signs. When I am lazing on the beach, say, there will be an instant when the waves will at one moment in their infinitely varied fluctuations trace into a comprehensible, broken message โ something like, โmust refer to KF483 for news on developments in the nebulaโฆโ Or in the skyline line of a city, there may be a precise point of perspective where my point of view can decipher in the parallax of buildings a greeting to an intellect that is not myself. In the arrangement of flocks of birds, in the ridges and crevices of a mountainside, in a fog rolling upon a street, these messages can be discovered.
A strange sort of innervation possesses me when I spot them. I never quite know what they entirely mean, and most of them appear almost trifling. But there is a terror and a beauty in them nonetheless."
Boner during test in middle school. Wearing those swishy wind suit type pants. Very thin material. Was checking out asian girl in front of me. Pretty cute. Teacher says to class "go turn in tests on front desk." Try to stall. She spots me. "Mypenwrotethis, turn in your test we have things to do." Come up with -brilliant- plan to cover boner with test papers while i walk up there. Mission success.
Just kidding, have to leave papers at front. No shield for walk back. In last ditch effort push boner against front desk while acting like im shuffling the tests together or something. People are wtfing behind me. Teacher says "what are you doing mypenwrotethis?" Mumble an answer praying boner will go away in next 5 seconds.
Only gets stronger. Teacher is getting mad. The jig is up. Turn around and walk back to desk in swishy wind suit pants with full erection. Can hear people whisper/giggle when they notice.
feelsbadman.
This thread is a gold mine of supernatural and paranormal stories. From ghosts and UFOs and past lives to dopplegangers and skinwalkers, and kind kind of fun creepy stuff in between. It spawned the /r/GlitchInTheMatrix subreddit.. though the original thread is a lot more interesting than most of the stories that sub gets these days.
Indigoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW- post from /u/kingeryck Stick two warm damp sponges in a plastic cup or mug that they'll fit pretty tight in. Put a rubber glove in between them. Roll the glove opening over the top of the mug. Lube it up. Fuck it. Toss the glove out.
This clip of someone blowing smoke into a soap bubble
MineWiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:27 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This recent (at the time of my comment) thread from r/askreddit which is basically a collection of parental wisdom which I've found extremely enlightening.
A teenage boy and his girlfriend. They are happy and very in love, but tragedy strikes; the boy gets drunk at a party, drives home with her, gets in an accident, and she is killed. He feels horrible, naturally.
But the girl isn't gone; she returns to the world as a ghost, not willing to pass on and be without her love. Unfortunately, he can neither see or hear her. She can whisper things in his ear and be perceived subconsciously, move small objects when he isn't looking, but never make her presence really known.
For a while she is content to simply follow him around and comfort him as best she can. It even seems she may be having a positive effect; she is able to subtly influence him to quit drinking, clean up his act, and turn his life around. All seems well in a bittersweet way.
Things start to change as time passes. The boy gets older, the ghost does not. He starts to move past her death, no longer gazing longingly at the pictures of them together, not visiting her grave as much. While the ghost wants to see him happy, she is miserable that she is being forgotten, as she is unchanging and still feels love for him.
A few years pass, and the now young adult man starts dating other women. The ghost is upset and jealous. She starts to sabotage his dates, causing little accidents, using her ability to be subconsciously heard to make him say awkward things, basically being a bitch and ruining the young man's relationships.
Unable to find happiness, the young man begins to backslide. He starts drinking again, he gets in fights, he loses his job. His life is turning to shit. Ghost girl feels terrible...until one night the man takes too many sleeping pills and almost dies. A horrible plan occurs to her; if he commits suicide then he'll be dead too and they can finally be together.
She starts to egg him on to more and more self-destructive acts, whispering poisonous thoughts in his ear, trying to make him hate himself. He shuts out family and friends. He buys a gun and doesn't really know why. The girl hates to do this, but it's the only way...
Throughout the film, we've seen other people haunted by ghosts. At first this seems harmless; there's a man whose father still follows him and gives advice. A mother who lost her daughter, but the girl still walks around holding her hand. The spirit of a young boy's dog still romps behind him. These ghosts can see each other, and are the typical Pixar cast of quirky side characters.
At last the young man seems to hit rock bottom and is ready to end it all. Not wanting to watch her love die, the ghost departs to leave him to it. She heads to the park, and sees some of the other people with ghosts. But now she notices things she hasn't before. The ghostly father's advice, always critical, seems downright abusive, constantly berating his son for his failure and inadequacy, and the son looks miserable. The little girl's mother can't look at a child playing without tearing up. The ghost dog is gone, however, and the now older boy has a new pet and is happy. The girl realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
She rushes back to the man, who is moments away from shooting himself. She begs him not to go through with it, pleads and cries, but is unheard. Eventually she is just barely able to direct his attention to the neglected photos of them together as happy teenagers and he puts the gun down, picks up the phone, and calls a suicide hotline.
Man enters therapy, joins a group to quit drinking again, takes medication. It's long and hard but he makes it. The girl is happy, but she seems to be fading slowly as the months pass. She thinks she might be finally letting go and crossing over, her reward for having saved him. Eventually she departs with a smile.
Twist ending: there was no ghost. That was his guilt and depression personified. It was always his own subconscious, the part of him that hated and blamed himself for the girl's death. Sure, the guilt drove him to quit drinking once, but the fact that he couldn't move on drove him into ever deeper despair. All the people with "ghosts" are the same way, haunted by their pasts. Last shot is him walking down the street, content, but as we zoom out we see just how many of the people around him have ghosts, and how widespread the problem is.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:23:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFL
Sometimes when I want a moral boost I look at this picture and it just makes me smile, shitgrin and LMAO.
Kelethe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the word you're looking for is "morale" rather than "moral. Though I suppose if you have a system of morals based on schadenfreude you could have meant what you wrote.
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like itโs a peach of cake.
turplan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From /u/Skrad on an askreddit thread titled What opinion do you hold that you won't be swayed from?
"Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.
This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet."
EdRecde ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U/TupperWolf
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Original post by samuraitiger19
"Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?"
In the darkness Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. God, he was so tired and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the darkness, and soon vision followed. At the foot of his bed stood his wife. Calvin wet his dry lips and spoke hoarsely, "Did... did you.... find him?"
"Yes dear," Susie said smiling sadly, "He was in the attic."
Susie reached into her big purse and brought out a soft, old, orange tiger doll. Calvin could not help but laugh. It had been so long. Too long.
"I washed him for you," Susie said, her voice cracking a little as she laid the stuffed tiger next to her husband.
"Thank you, Susie." Calvin said.
A few moments passed as Calvin just laid on his hospital bed, his head turned to the side, staring at the old toy with nostalgia.
"Dear," Calvin said finally. "Would you mind leaving me alone with Hobbes for a while? I would like to catch up with him."
"All right," Susie said. "I'll get something to eat in the cafeteria. I'll be back soon."
Susie kissed her huband on the forehead and turned to leave. With sudden but gentle strength Calvin stopped her. Lovingly he pulled his wife in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. "I love you," he said.
"And I love you," said Susie.
Susie turned and left. Calvin saw tears streaming from her face as she went out the door.
Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. "Hello Hobbes. It's been a long time hasn't it old pal?"
Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered. "It sure has, Calvin." said Hobbes.
"You... haven't changed a bit." Calvin smiled.
"You've changed a lot." Hobbes said sadly.
Calvin laughed, "Really? I haven't noticed at all."
There was a long pause. The sound of a clock ticking away the seconds rang throughout the sterile hospital room.
"So... you married Susie Derkins." Hobbes said, finally smiling. "I knew you always like her."
"Shut up!" Calvin said, his smile bigger than ever.
"Tell me everything I missed. I'd love to hear what you've been up to!" Hobbes said, excited.
And so Calvin told him everything. He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grandkids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on. After he told Hobbes all this there was another pregnant pause.
"You know... I visited you in the attic a bunch of times." Calvin said.
"I know."
"But I couldn't see you. All I saw was a stuffed animal." Calvin voice was breaking and tears of regret started welling up in his eyes.
"You grew up old buddy." said Hobbes.
Calvin broke down and sobbed, hugging his best friend. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I broke my promise! I promised I wouldn't grow up and that we'd be together forever!!"
Hobbes stroke the Calvin's hair, or what little was left of it. "But you didn't."
"What do you mean?"
"We were always together... in our dreams."
"We were?"
"We were."
"Hobbes?"
"Yeah, old buddy?"
"I'm so glad I got to see you like this... one last time..."
"Me too, Calvin. Me too."
"Sweetheart?" Susie voice came from outside the door.
"Yes dear?" Calvin replied.
"Can I come in?" Susie asked.
"Just a minute."
Calvin turned to face Hobbes one last time. "Goodbye Hobbes. Thanks... for everything..."
"No, thank you Calvin." Hobbes said.
Calvin turned back to the door and said, "You can come in now."
Susie came in and said, "Look who's come to visit you."
Calvin's children and grandchildren followed Susie into Calvin's room. The youngest grandchild ran past the rest of them and hugged Calvin in a hard, excited hug. "Grandpa!!" screamed the child in delight.
"Francis!" cried Calvin's daughter, "Be gentle with your grandfather."
Calvin's daughter turned to her dad. "I'm sorry, Daddy. Francis never seems to behave these days. He just runs around making a mess and coming up with strange stories."
Calvin laughed and said, "Well now! That sound just like me when I was his age."
Calvin and his family chatted some more until a nurse said, "Sorry, but visiting hours are almost up."
Calvin's beloved family said good bye and promised to visit tommorrow. As they turned to leave Calvin said, "Francis. Come here for a second."
Francis came over to his grandfather's side, "What is it Gramps?"
Calvin reached over to the stuffed tiger on his bedside and and held him out shakily to his grandson, who looked exactly as he did so many years ago. "This is Hobbes. He was my best friend when I was your age. I want you to have him."
"He's just a stuffed tiger." Francis said, eyebrows raised.
Calvin laughed, "Well, let me tell you a secret."
Francis leaned closer to Clavin. Calvin whispered, "If you catch him in a tiger trap using a tuna sandwich as bait he will turn into a real tiger."
Francis gasped in delighted awe. Calvin continued, "Not only that he will be your best friend forever."
"Wow! Thanks grandpa!" Francis said, hugging his grandpa tightly again.
"Francis! We need to go now!" Calvin's daughter called.
"Okay!" Francis shouted back.
"Take good care of him." Calvin said.
"I will." Francis said before running off after the rest of the family.
Calvin laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. The time to go was close. He could feel it in his soul. Calvin tried to remember a quote he read in a book once. It said something about death being the next great adventure or something like that. He eyelids grew heavy and his breathing slowed. As he went deeper into his final sleep he heard Hobbes, as if he was right next to him at his bedside. "I'll take care of him, Calvin..."
Calvin took his first step toward one more adventure and breathed his last with a grin on his face.
EDIT: Wow... just wow... I am speechless here guys. I did not expect such a reaction to my story or prompt. I am not worthy of your praise or your gold. I am truly humbled. Thanks so much! I'm truly glad so my story touched so many people.
"A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.
Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend
Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I've been. There are a myriad of other issues that were the result of catching a parasite in a river, going into hypovolemic shock, etc. I was in a coma for a while. You don't want this to happen to you in America. It only leads to financial ruin. My family and friends all know about the hospital part (well, not the financials...to be honest, I can't even remember what my tab is up to now without looking, because when your gut is fucked up, so is your immune system, so I've been back in the hospital a few times since, fighting not to lose limbs from infections that started as tiny scratches that water and bacteria got into, and my body said, nope). Also now I am on a permanent prescribed soft and bland diet, meaning no peppers, tomatoes, alcohol, chocolate, citrus, or caffeine. I cheat that with marijuana, otherwise I'm like the thing from fantastic four, except instead of clobbering time, it's vomiting time.
They don't know that when I fall asleep, I wake up every day thinking it is July 2014. I was able to fake it well enough to continue to practice law for 6 months. I have a huge capacity for learning and information, so I have detailed notes about most days of my life since then. I can peruse them as needed to try to keep up, but eventually it became just too much. There is likely an incredible book in there somewhere, as I basically said fuck it, if I'm dying, first I'm going to do some living, so I made a bunch of marijuana tincture, put it in travel shampoo bottles from Walmart, tossed them in my carry on bag, and have taken it all over Europe, America, and even though the Middle East. Documented every step of the way, through a journal and photos.
I'll go back to the doctor at some point. My doctor who knew all retired, and I am just so distrusting of doctors now, since this whole thing is their fault (sent home from the ER with bad instructions that would have killed me if I'd listened to the ER doctor, just barely saved my own life by not). I know I'm fucked, and medically disabled at this point, so I'll let a lawyer friend fight that fight for me. I've been in Netherlands for 2 months cycling and camping, just to see if my body still could do it, and so I can eat some real fucking food.
I may very well die tomorrow, but I will sure as fuck live today. I wish I knew of a good publishing agent because when you don't fear death, you'll do stupidshit like smoke opium with a random match from tinder you pull during a 38 hour layover in Istanbul. I just say yes I shit because if I fuck up, tomorrow in my mind, when I wake up, it never happened.
Tldr sorry for the wall of text
We had a strip of public property between our house and the road. It was constantly being used by people to make u turns. I was responsible for mowing the grass there, and people would be driving through it at all hours of the night turning around on our two lane road for u turns. Thing was, about 4 feet of it was "public" land or city property, the rest of it was my property. People would drive down this little dimple of land and get stuck when it rained or snowed and proceed to mulch up the ground with ruts trying to get unstuck. I got sick of it so I stopped cutting the grass so people would stop driving though it to use as a turn around spot. They persisted, sometimes they would knock on the door in the middle of the night and ask for help getting unstuck out of the mud pit that formed when people got stuck. Eventually the grass by the road was about 4 feet tall, I took some lengths of rebar and staked it into the ground so that it stuck up about 3 feet but was concealed by the grass. People would go boggin through the grass to turn around and scrap the shit out of their cars from the rebar. I had a dozen angry knocks on my door about who in their right mind would stick rebar in that long grass over there. I always acted confused like, oh no that is terrible but I don't know who did it. Why where you driving through the yard though? I was pretty satisfied, even though literally hundreds of people that summer scraped the holy living shit out of their bumpers and underneath their cars because they insisted on tearing through the grass patch in front of my house to turn around.
So when women or their SO makes romantic gestures to men, do they like it?
You're a little bit off the markโyou're actually describing an inversion of the gendered roles here (i.e. the woman is an active contributor while the man is a passive recipient or responder). While a man will appreciate such a gesture, it's not quite what composes the male romantic fantasy (more on this later).
Do men that were heavily pursued by women feel this way?
Men who aren't used to being pursued are usually confused or thrown off by the reversal of gendered roles. The result is the prevailing idea that men do not respond well to being approached first by women or even the autobiographical accounts from men describing instances where they couldn't respond well even if they were attracted to the woman approaching them. This is the men being shocked out of the traditional "script" of romance.
Secondly, when you talk about women pursuing men, that usually happens in a markedly different fashion than the way in which men pursue women (hint: it's more passive). A woman "aggressively" pursuing a man looks more like said woman going to extensive lengths to make it clear that she is available for pursuit rather than actively pursuing; the man is still usually leading things forward in some manner by handling the logistics of this romance. This is where you get those autobiographical stories from men about missing signals; "aggressive" pursuit from women is (usually) a set of passive signals that are clear to men who are experienced, but unclear to men not used to being "pursued."
I wonder if this is true in same sex male couples too.
I do too. I talk with a homosexual friend about stuff like this a lot, maybe I'll bring it up next time I see him.
The Male Romantic Fantasy
I'd say that men usually feel most loved when this normal state of affairs is negated; when they are made to believe that a woman's love is not conditional in the cause-and-effect manner described in the parent post. Love is work for men, but it can be rewarding work when things are going smoothly and the woman is happy as a result. But the male romantic fantasy is to be shown that the woman feels the same way and stands by him when he's down on his luck, when the money's not there, or when he's not feeling confident. He wants to know that the love he believes he's earned will stay even when the actions that feed it wane (however temporarily). A good woman can often lift a man up in his times of need and desperation and weather the storm even when things aren't going well. The male romantic fantasy is an enduring and unconditional love that seems to defy this relationship of labor and reward. A man wants to be loved for who he is, not for what he does in order to be loved.
An interesting way to examine this is to look at what women often call romantic entitlement. An entitled guy is a dude who maintains an unrealistic notion of men's typically active role in love. Before acknowledging reality, this boy uncompromisingly believes that he shouldn't have to do anything or change anything about himself to earn a woman's love; he wants to be loved for who he is, not what he does.
All men secretly want this, but there comes a day when they eventually compromise out of necessity. After that day, they may spend years honing themselves, working, shaping themselves into the men they believe women want to be chosen by. A massive part of what causes boys to "grow up" is the realization that being loved requires hard work. This impetus begins a journey where a boy grows into a man by gaining strength, knowledge, resources, and wisdom. The harsh realities of the world might harden and change him into a person his boyhood self wouldn't recognize. He might adopt viewpoints he doesn't agree with, transgress his personal boundaries, or commit acts he previously thought himself incapable of. But ultimately, the goal is to feel as if his work is done.
When he can finally let go of the crank he continually turns day after day in order to earn love and, even if only for a moment, it turns by itself to nourish him in return, that is when he will know he is loved.
The original question of Why romance books are targeted at women was a point of curiosity, but then his answer and explanation just hit home. Not matter how much people want equality of the genders, there is just too much of a bias. Girls get to be picky, guys have to buy the drink. If a guy never makes the first move, takes her on a date, but a ring and get on his knee, chances are those things will never happen. The ideal for any guy with his shit together is to let the crank turn itself, if only for a little bit.
A massive comment containing every instance of violence and incitement of hatred in the Quran
Doove ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:37:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can fit an entire book in a reddit comment?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
concise rebuttal with fbi and cdc backed facts to anti-gun people.
list of videos proving CNN is fake news
some naked chicks.
Daisy_s ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
""2. List of videos proving CNN is fake news""
I dont understand this. 24 hour news cycle outlets are entertainment media companies. All of them. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, Breitbart, Huffpost...
They are businesses who's model is providing "news" as a source of entertainment and ad revenue. Everyone knows this. Everyone has known this. They have to pump out little kernels of news surrounded by large clouds of confetti and glitter (aka bull shit) to keep people watching. So people see their fucking ads. So they can make money $$$.
This is how capitalism works dude. We all learn this in 8th grade.
Do you keep lists of videos proving that Adventure Time is a cartoon? Wtf the dude?
S103793 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I don't have it saved but I wish I did so hopefully someone has it. Well it's a post on how op teaches kid how to hack off cuz his parent are strict af and he never learn anything sexual
CUDesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've probably got some good stuff in there but I've saved so many with the idea that I can find them again later that now I don't even remember what I saved in the first place.
I don't know, I save far too much stuff either because I think it is cool or I want to show people at a later date, but then lots never gets purged, so beyond the first page or so, I can't find or remember specifics
Can we talk about the lack of a search option or filter for your saved section? I'd like a filter so I can see all of the posts from a specific sub reddit, instead of all at the same time.
Music is getting compressed so it sounds louder. Before this you're set your volume to your preferred level and would hear everything from quiet notes to very loud and distinct drum hits. Now the quiet notes are louder, the mid range is louder, and consequently the formerly loud and distinct drum hits are just barely louder than everything else.
This video demonstrates it better than any written description really can.
I tend to save the greatest Reddit posts, like 'What's a potato', 'How to hide a boner (Urgent)', 'Cumbox', and others like that. Also that Japanese Rube Goldberg machine was hilarious.
"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: โRuth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.โ While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, donโt settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz."
My collection of "cute cow" posts from the front page. Since cow is by far the most consumed meat in North America I'm convinced that "big vegan" has a campaign to make people think of cows like they think of dogs in order to reduce meat consumption in NA.
In no particular order are the most interesting things I have found in surfing reddit for 5 years. Edit 2012 - I tried to clean up this list fixing the broken links.
Chemistry a Volatile History is a great review of science and how we got to where we are today. If more programs like this existed, I might actually watch TV. This link is dead now but if you search around enough you can still find the videos.
Mechanical Computers Training videos from the 50s show the basics of fire control computers. Anyone want to help port Portal 2 to one of these?
The making of Star Wars An very good fan documentary. I don't know how I never heard about this. I'm not really a Star Wars geek so I learned all sorts of things I didn't know.
James Burke's Connections Three series of Connections episodes can now be seen on youtube. I really liked the first series. If you are interested in science, history or both you really should watch.
Donald Duck in Mathemagic Land While not completely accurate, if find it interesting to see how much cartoons have changed. Are there any educational cartoons today?
Apollo 11 launch revisited in slow-mo HD The most interesting commentary I have ever heard on a historic video. History Channel, are you paying attention? Why aren't you running footage like this that has to do with actual history?
The banned book of chemistry experiments A children's book published in the 1960s that was intended to explain to kids how they could set up a home chemistry lab and conduct simple experiments.
Drawing Marilyn Monroe Eight fascinating minutes. Would that I could draw as well as this.
Hand making vacuum tubes Just in case you ever need to go back to vacuum tubes, here is how you go about it.
Test your eyeballing skills If you are a web designer who notices even a single pixel out of place, don't click on this or you will spend the rest of your day seeing if you are up to the test.
Speed demos of Duke Nukem Each level is completed as fast as possible. You have to see it to believe it.
The secret Life of Machines One of my all time favorite set of videos. My dream in life is to create something so entertaining and educational. I'm working on it but progress when you have a 9-5 job is maddeningly slow.
YahBas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This novelty account is not famous enough. He's like a Cormac McCarthy character commenting on NSFW posts. Each post is unique, hilarious and, strangely enough, beautifully written.
I once had a comment saved that comprised of detailed instructions on how to make a playable sentient wheelbarrow in DnD 3.5. Sadly, the user seems to have deleted his account and all comments with it, and I never took a screencap..
Excuse me, excuse me. This is important, and we won't be silent anymore; the people are fed up. I have to tell you just how wrong this whole situation is!
See, wages have been in a downward spiral for ten thousand years now, because the top one tenth of the top one percent has made it that way. They've been focused on removing all sorts of protections from the middle class and the working class ever since their little Horus Heresy, and it's shameful. But everybody's divided up across the galaxy! That's how they do it; they divide and they conquer. And ladies and gentlemen and abhumans, the top one tenth of one percentโthe nine hedonistic Primarchs keeping their old money in the hands of their Traitor Legionsโhave almost gotten away with it! People are struggling, every day, to make ends meet. They just want simple agrarian lifestyles. But no, even that needs to be taken away from them, doesn't it?
And so we fight. We've been fighting for so long now. But we have to stop fighting. Chaos is just what the fat cats want. You think that Slaanesh or Tzeentch care about the ordinary, everyday mortal? They're bankrolling the same dirty politicians and sycophants who want to take away everything you've got! Sure, Nurgle puts on a good act, but he doesn't want to give free healthcare to the citizens of the Imperium. He wants to remove it, even! Make sure that none of you have healthcare! But we've got plenty of funds for that. And we have funds for free college tuition.
Where is it all going? Into star wars. Well, I say no more star wars! No more strike cruisers! No more thunderhawks! Let's focus on making sure that our citizens are well-educated and well-fed before we start fighting in more "overseas" wars.
Ladies and gentlemen and abhumans, it is your right to have these things. The Tech-priests on Mars don't think you should have those rights, either. They don't want you to have access to modern technology or education. They're hoarding it all for themselves! That's not how we create a large, healthy middle class. We don't just withhold education on the basis of not worshiping the Omnissiah. We can't just abandon the younger generation and leave them with nothing!
*Large open-handed gesture*
We could do so much more. Sure, the Emperor of Mankind did some useful things. I'm not saying he's a bad leader. But sometimes he needs a bit of primary competition! And not just from some new puppet of Khorne, either.
I know. I know. That sounds almost heretical. I like the Emperor of Mankind, okay? He's been a good Emperor. But some of his policies aren't working out so well, and some others have been almost forgotten! He wanted this to be a secular society, remember? It was one of his campaign promises. But now we're all worshiping him like he can do no wrong, and we're not focused on the serious issues that we face.
What about the Tyranids? The scientific community has come to a consensus that Tyranids are real. But we just want to pretend like nothing's happening. Like it's just some sort of fluke weather system that creates shadows in the Warp and wipes out entire border planets. Ladies and gentlemen and abhumans, that's wrong. Tyranids are as real as the Gods of Chaos, and we have to think of our children and our grandchildren before we continue enacting policies that speed up their arrival. We can't just keep using the Astronomican with no regard for the environment. It's causing the Tyranids to speed up their pursuit, and if we don't cut back now, it will already be too late. We aren't just seeing the effects at home. Even on foreign planets, the Greenskins are springing up and causing devastating WAAAGH!s, fighting over resources because the Tyranids are desertifying entire systems. And they're going to want to come here soon.
*Furious finger wave*
Now, now. I'm not saying I'm for open borders. That's a Tzeentch-backed policy. But we have to deal with this immigration crisis sensibly, and that starts with cutting back our Astronomican usage and not relying on the Emperor so much. Let's focus on the issues.
Our hostile foreign policy has caused so many possible allies to avoid us. The Eldar, for instance. And it's resulted in our money being spent on empty war efforts to boot. Ladies and gentlemen and abhumans, let's focus on rebuilding our crumbling infrastructure instead! Billions of new, useful jobs for working class individuals for only 13 octillion dollars. And with our federal funds being turned inward, we can increase the wages of each of those workers, too! Cut military spending and put good-paying jobs in the hands of the average agrarian.
Now, some Chapter Masters don't want me to say that: "Cut military spending". But our government doesn't treat our veterans well at all, and that's where we should be spending our military funds if we're really committed to human rights! A lot of these Space Marines have been working nonstop for hundreds of years now, day in and day out, sometimes going for hundreds of hours without sleep! It causes PTSD, and it causes Chaotic corruption. I'm very proud to say that I recently worked across the aisle to draft sweeping new legislation on Terra and get our vets the care they actually need with a new twentieth gene-seed.
I've heard my detractors call me many things in the past. They want to paint me as a "xenoist", but I prefer the term "democratic Tauist". You know, on Tau planets, they have advanced technology, great-paying jobs for everyone, and sensible immigration policy? The forces of Chaos don't want you to know that. They want you to think that the Tau are all a bunch of crazy xenos with long bread lines and empty foodstores. But the Greater Good does work, people. And we can make it work here, too. What we need is a democratic revolution, made up of trillions of simple middle class and working class individuals, to march to Terra and say, "Enough is enough!" Don't get caught up thinking that you can't have these things. We had these things in the past, before the Heresy. And that's the true heresy here, ladies and gentlemen and abhumans. It's shameful that we do not have healthcare. It's shameful that we ignore the dangers of Astronomican usage. It's shameful that weโ
What's that? We really have a new God Emperor?! Maybe now we can get the change we were hoping foโ
God Emperor Trump?! And he's brought a bunch of Necrons and Greater Daemons of Slaanesh to sit with him beside the Golden Throne? Welp, we're fucked.
I've now saved this thread to the saved section, making it my favourite thing in my saved section. Self fulfilling prophecy or is Chris Nolan directing this thread?
I have a saved items section full of "creepy" ask reddit, cross stitch patterns and cooking recipes, but this They made him kills his horse is one of my favourite threads. It makes me giggle every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember even saving or reading it, but I had this "Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker" response that is pretty great. I don't know how to link to a specific response, but it's the 3rd response down, from user Rhoner and has 19 gold.
Mittzir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What da doo-doo did yousa just say about meesa, yousa litta bitty bitch? Iโll has yousa know meesa graduated bombad of meesa class in da Jedi Seals, and meesa been involved in numerous secret raids on da Federation, and meesa has over 300 confirmed kills. Meesa trained in guerilla warfare and meesa da bombad sniper in da entire Republic armed forces. Yousa nutting to meesa but just another target. Meesa ganna wipe yousa da doo-doo out with precision da likein of which has never been seen before on dis Naboo, mark meesa doo-doo words. Yousa thinkin yousa ganna getin away with sayin da doo-doo to meesa over da internet? Thinkin again, fucker. As weesa speak meesa contacting meesa secret network of spies across da Republic and yousa IP is bein traced right now so yousa bombad prepare for da storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes out da pathetic litta bitty thing yousa call yousa life. Yousa doo-doo dead, kid. Meesa ganna be anywhere, anytime, and meesa ganna kill yousa in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with meesa bare hands. Not only meesa extensive train in unarm combat, but meesa access to da entire arsenal of da Republic Jedi Order and meesa ganna use it to its full extent to wipe yousa miserable doo-doo off da face of da galaxy, yousa litta bitty doo-doo. If only yousa can has known what unholy retribution yousa litta bitty โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon yousa, maybe yousa woulda held yousa doo-doo tongue. But yousa couldnโt, yousa didnโt, and now yousa gonna pay da price, yousa goddamn idiot. Meesa ganna doo-doo fury all over yousa and yousa ganna drown in it. Yousa doo-doo dead, kiddo.
I saved this a while ago and have practiced whenever I could. I solved my first cube without referring to this guide last year. Now I am working on improving speed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really good feature since I can aggregate all the NSFW subreddits I like without subscribing to them which makes it pretty safe from people who tend to shoulder surf when I'm browsing my homepage.
Not hard and fast rules, by any means, and six I've never understood, but they've helped me be a bit more happy. And that's a hard thing to undervalue.
Step by step instructions on how to turn my particular car into a comfy living-space. Its actually what convinced me to by this model and year. My girlfriend refuses to live in a car, but should anything go wrong...
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Fritz Haber the chemist?
No?
I thought not. It's not a story the Germans would tell you. It's a Jew legend. Fritz Haber was a chemist, so capable and inventive he devised a method to extract nitrogen from the air...
He had such a knowledge of chemistry, he created a chemical called Zyklon-A.
He could actually extract nitrogen from the air?
Chemistry is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
What happened to him?
He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was the nazis, which eventually, of course, drove him out of the country. Unfortunately, he taught the nazis everything he knew, then the nazis killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could give others nitrogen from the air, but not himself.
tsume24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i thought i had my favorite /nosleep story saved, but apparently i don't so i have to go back and look for it. it's about a kid whose brother dies but keeps talking to him after death, and the author's description of what the dead brother sees and experiences is one of the most beautiful and thought-provoking things i've ever read.
so besides that, pretty much everything from this guy that i've saved.
edit: if anyone is actually reading this, i found the /nosleep story!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This poem...
When Little Timmy surfed a site
And gaily picked a thread,
He laughed aloud with deep delight
At every word he read.
He skimmed a hundred happy tales
Of misbegotten youth -
Of fond affairs and funny fails,
And other twists of truth!
So Timmy shared a story too,
Then settled back and sighed.
But somehow someone somewhere knew.
And Timmy fucking died.
Don't call me a creep, but I love to audio record things that I like without letting others know. For example an amazing lecture, stupid jokes, drunken party conversations, techie things they tell me in the office that I don't understand etc.
So when I get time, I listen to them. My favourite amongst them are the brilliant class lectures (marketing, finance etc) that I have recorded. Some of them are so amazing that I listen to them with my batchmates. The best part is all voices of people who sat besides me are also recorded.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a post from u/JoseJimenezAstronaut in an Ask Reddit about if Dr. Seuss would have been NSFW. Kills me every time.
Things In My Butt - by Dr Seuss
"Hello, I'm Tommy Tutt. Do you like things in your butt?"
"Hello, Tommy Tutt. No, I don't like things in my butt."
"Would you like them if they're round? Would you like them if they're brown?"
"I would not like them if they're round. I would not like them if they're brown. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"Do you like them long and straight? Pounding with the force of hate?"
"I do not like them long and straight. I do not like the force of hate. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"Maybe gently caressed with love...a single finger in a glove?"
"Not with hate, not with love. Not a finger in a glove. I do not like it long and straight. None shall pass my starfish gate. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"What if it was thick and curly, twisting with a twirly whirly?"
"No, I do not like it twirly whirly - makes me scream like a little girly. Long and straight, round and brown, this sort of thing ain't going down. I do not like things in my butt, I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
โBut lots of people give it a try, donโt you ever wonder why?โ
โI guess Iโll try it, but you will see. This sort of thing is not for me.โ
zip thrrrrrk UNGHHHH
โSay, thatโs not so bad. Say, I feel pretty glad. I DO like things in my butt. Thank you, thank you, Tommy Tutt!โ
amrla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gacode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A performance artist let strangers fondle her vagina and breast. I use that to masturbate at least once a week . I'm on my phone so I can't give the link atm.
pta2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me personally it is this post. It really changed my perspective of the world
rahsftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The askreddit thread that was meant to be about redditors who dated celebrities where the OP posted it and later found that he had received like a hundred comments about Eminem's daughter.
This article from and about a german soccer player
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An AskReddit thread about mathematical facts which helped me pass last years' math.
That or the comment of the guy who was subscribed to /r/Mia_Diaz defending paedophilia. I saved it to go harras him every once in a while but forgot about it.
Speaking of the "Saved" section, it bothers me that you can only have a limited number of things saved. For example, if your list is maxed out, and you save something new, the very last link at the end of your list will disappear. That is so stupid.
I WISH I could tell you. Since i have maybe about 1,000 items in there and reddit has NO WAY of easily searching or displaying them It's kinda tough to look through them.
Orcson1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "Prettier" Trilogy. A girl writes a creepy post on r/LetsNotMeet about her childhood friend and his pedophile father, ends up continuing the story and telling a beautiful story about her and her friends lives 20 years later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about anal.
Come, Simba. I will teach you the ways of the hung gay tops.
Word will get around that you have a huge cock. There will be plenty of bottoms who say they want to take you. There will be few that can actually let you in to play hard. Those are the boys you are after.
Your job as a hung top is to get your bottom to relax. It's not all about more lube. It's all about more breathing. Boys get nervous when they're taking a cock. Especially a huge one.
People hold their breath when they get nervous. Holding your breath causes muscles to tense up. The asshole is a muscle. It needs to relax to open up and get fucked.
You have to get your boy to breathe. First go slow and make him feel comfortable and protected. Your job as a top is to protect your bottom, bottoms want to feel they are in the hands of a strong, protective man. Take it slow. Make out with him. Then slowly start to finger him.
A good trick is to gently touch his hole, then put your finger in his mouth. He'll know what's up then. He'll suck on your finger and get it wet. Take the wet finger and put it back on his hole and gently play with it.
You're not trying to get a finger in his ass.m so much, as you're slowly introducing him to the idea that he can open his hole and trust you to protect him as you play with it. Make out with him as you gently play with his hole - again - not forcing a finger in, just playing with his asslips and introducing the idea that his hole is yours ;)
Then, fuckin Rim him. Just go to town and fuckin make out with his ass. Have him 69 you with his hole sitting on your face and him sucking your cock. Again, we are establishing that your cock is going to be doing business with his hole, and he can open up and trust you. Totally make out with that hole and get your tongue in there. This is where you really loosen him up. Let your tongue pave the way for your cock. He'll be moaning and opening up to get your tongue deeper in. Now it's game time.
Throw on a condom (practice this. I can have a condom open, on my cock, dick lubed, one handed in the dark in about 3 seconds flat...) get that condom on (you'll need magnums or better) and get your cock nice and lubed.
This next part is important; put lube IN his hole, not ON his hole. Make out with him while you gently work some lube up inside him.
Ask him if he's ready (or, when you get some more Dom confidence tell him 'I'm going to fuck you now')
Put your cock to his hole, grab him by the neck and take a deep breath. Let him feel you breathe deeply and tell him "BREATHE. I want you to breathe DEEP." Set the example by breathing deeply and he will match you. Slide the head in.
He will tense up and hold his breath. You are the top. You are in control here. Your job is to protect your bottom. Tell him to fucking BREATHE. Keep breathing deep and tell him again BREATHE. Slide another inch in and hold it there. Let him adjust to the cock. He wants to take you. He craves it. But he needs time to adjust. Just hold it there. No in and out, just holding and breathing and words of encouragement from you.
Slide another inch in and hold and breathe. Repeat. Still no in and out. Just slow in and hold, breathe. Slow in a little more, hold, breathe. He's opening up now. When you get all the way in, hold it for an extra long moment. Tell him how good he's doing. Start to slowly push in a little harder, and then ease off. No in and out, just pressure, no pressure. Pressure, no pressure.
You're stretching him here and getting him ready. You're also getting his hole used to the full depth of your cock. But taking a cock in isn't the hardest thing for him to get used to. It's the withdrawal when you out stroke. But that can be intensely pleasureful for him too. If you do if right.
Start with one inch. Go from balls deep to one inch out. Back to balls deep. One inch out. Balls deep. Slowly work up to two. Slowly. Watch that out stroke. Let him get used to it. Slowly start taking more of your cock out, and go back to balls deep. After a few minutes of this? He'll be loose and moaning, and fucking begging for it.
Then? Fuckin go to town brah. Wreck that ass. You've earned it. You can use it as hard as you want.
Trust me bro, I've fucked a lot of boy ass. Bottoms love huge cocks. You just gotta work for it and get them loose. And remember to tell them to fuckin BREATHE.
**Time to get your little one in the entire universe where I store them all for when I'm not at work I save things all the parents drop their kids off at my glorious dicktent, and then back to offering rides habitually.
I would show you if I could view past my last 1000 saves or if Reddit had a search function worth a damn. Not really "saved" if you lose it once you save too much. Worst part is they actually do save all your saves, they just won't show them to you. The only way to see past your last 1000 saves is to delete them to bring the old ones forward.
Video: NSFW
I saved this because they said exactly what I've been trying to explain people for years so amazingly. No one realizes this and they put it in a perfect perspective and everything
I first saw it about a year after my grandmother died and it was one of the truest things I've ever read. It still is. If you've lost someone you'll tear up a bit reading it, but that's not a bad thing.
Unfortunately I don't know, i tried to go back through them all and discovered reddit only lets you see 1000, even if you delete the ones above it.
If you have gold you can see 1000 per subreddit, alas I do not. If I ever get some I will be diligent and save everything i can from all that debauchery.
Loreki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My saved is an extensive collection of /r/rarepuppers. It is too hard to choose, they're all good dogs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named "Montague."
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. Like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular, claims he's the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of "The world's most interesting man." Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate, and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia, when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma, and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I'd have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were made that she didn't show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn't deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to go to hell.
That ended that.
I hope Montague eventually found a loving family.
Edit 1: This got a LOT of attention. Your support has been so amazing. I couldn't find any of the original pictures of Montague, BUT, my wife had made a few private in-joke Memes from one of his pound pictures (not a very good one, I am afraid). I put two of them here from Montague's "Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom" phase of our jokes. http://imgur.com/a/9M8UE
Edit 2: Don't go after the pound, that was over 3 years ago, and I wasn't right in the head about my wife's passing. I am sure they have rotated staff. BUT I did get a Siamese rescue last year from a friend of mine who has a farm where people dump cats (long story). Here's some of HER pictures. http://imgur.com/gallery/cLF2O
A gif from r/creepygifs of a girl playing on the ground with toys. Beside her, a long, spindly, black hand creeps out from under her bed, hesitates, and grabs the girl by the leg and whisks her under the bed. It cracks me up every time I see it.
I have this mac-and-cheese recipe that's literally gotten me laid before but now I'm bullied into making it every time someone wants to throw a party for no fucking reason
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is my favorite game of all time and this is part 1 of one of the greatest stories I've heard about the game. It involves the player and an unkillable super overpowered clone of his character fighting each other over and over.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're just goofy anime related websites but damn it I love them. They're part of a thread that basically was just about hilariously useless anime related websites.
Paithen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This askreddit question.
Mr44Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The porn industry has its own Hollywood. Not far from Hollywood, the San Fernando Valley (sometimes known as Silicone Valley) in Los Angeles, CA, is home to most of the major porn studios in the United States. At one point in time, it is believed that 90% of all legally-distributed porn was filmed or produced there.
Like other films, most mainstream porn is filmed on sets. The San Fernando Valley is full of rental houses that major studios rent to shoot their movies. If you watch enough porn, you eventually start to recognize the rooms from the same set of houses over and over in each movie. This actually makes it really easy to search for videos if you're looking for specific details. It's so predictable that I can take a look at a scene set in a bathroom and immediately tell if it has a rubber ducky in it.
Edit: I threw together an album of one of my favorite mansions since it had one of my favorite rubber ducks sitting in it for around 6 years (and dozens of pornos!). Here are a few screenshots from the scenes (NSFW).
ledel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oldie but a goodie. Story of DnD and confusion of what a word means.
My favorite funny thing is this and my favorite serious thing is this. The second one is among my all-time favorite Reddit stories. I want to make an illustration based on it.
I saved this post from a previous ask thread dubbed Parents of Reddit, what's the dumbest thing your kid has done?
Camp counselor here (parent for spoiled kids whose parents don't know what to do with their kids when school is out). One of my kids, was looking really distraught so I went over and asked him what was wrong. "I lost my nutsack" he sobbed. I fight back a giggle look down and ask him what it looks like so maybe I can help him find it. "Well, it is black and it looks like Sam's". I am almost losing my shit as I bend down and pick up the disc golf bag that he is looking for. It had been sitting on the ground right next to his bed as he didn't even look for it before he declared it lost.
For those of you unfamiliar with the savage sport of frolf, one carries their discs in a special bag, one of the main brands is a "nutsack"
Time I found my camper's black nutsack...
I forgot about that section completely until now. An article about Interstellar. Speaking of which, just watched the movie last night for the first time. I thought it was strange, yet delightful.
I got nothing to add but this thread is amazing. The Amanda story, grandma flashing on Facebook, escaping murderous snails, and hilarious cat gifs. Next time a question like this comes around, I'll link this thread.
This is gonna get buried, but the NoSleep story of Gigi The Coffee girl... I don't know why I saved it. It just stuck with me. Terribly sad story, well written, short. Something I think about often.
A paper on multi-user online dungeons, the general concepts also to how people approach video games and helped me build an understanding of what different people like about video games.
The setup, the conversation, the scooter, and the abrupt end. All of these things come together to make something I cant help but laugh at every time I see it
Agmagor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never let someone who isn't familiar with electronics touch your electronics. Back in my peasantry (and adolescent) days I bought an Xbox 360 and my mom thought it was absolutely necessary to do that registration thing there's always a card for in the box but in practice you never actually have to do. So she called the number on the card and when the representative asked for the serial number she just walked over and flipped the 360 upside down (the serial number was on the bottom) while I was in the middle of playing. The game (Black Ops 1) was completely ruined. Ever since then my mother has been completely disallowed from touching my Xbox or PC.
reply 1:
One time, my mother tried "fixing" my computer. She pulled the computer out with all the cables and USBs still attached, and she put it in the ground, resting on its front panel. Sticking out from the front panel was a USB flash drive that I won in a competition. It was completely crushed and all the data on it was lost. When I told her to stop, she just told me to leave.
A second time, my mother asked me to clean the dust out from behind my screen, and she tilted the screen in such a way that it was basically being barely held on one of the legs and was sort of suspended from falling by the cables coming from the back.
A THIRD time, she ripped all the cables out of my server. No damage was done, but some data could have been lost or corrupted. At first, she said that it was to teach me a lesson, but when she found out that it was a game server for my friends to play on, she quickly expanded her excuse to include my friends.
I no longer let my mother near my electronics. When I do, I get really quite nervous.
So I just saved a thread that I was linked to by a comment talking about his saved thread in a thread talking about the saved section which I saved too
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like stories about hospital experiences and dark shit like that. What's the most disgusting things you've seen? Kinda ones. Lots of interesting gross stuff.
My favorite thing is a gif, 'post-orgasmic sigh'. I'm not going to link it unless someone requests; I know thats weird but I just feel awkward just linking it out of nowhere I guess.
I have far too many saved links to say this for sure, but one of my favorite ones is a collection of professional pictures of women in the immediate aftermath of their having given birth. It's an amazing cross-section of beauty, agony, life, wonderment, relief, and pure, unfathomable love.
As someone who has no family of his own, it is amazing to behold. I'm not on my computer so I can't link to it, but it shouldn't be too hard to find.
Mosquito finding a blood vessel. Not even sure why I saved it. I suppose so I could later strike horror into the hearts of good people like you.
https://m.imgur.com/D4NR1Jo?r
The only thing I have saved is on my super alt YouTube account and it's a video of a dude I went to have with on the local news telling people how his car got stolen by the "Cross-dressing Car Theif". I call it retribution for being a dick to all the gay kids in HS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My collection of pictures of YOUR MOM!
Jrodvon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A shittyfoodporn post where a guy used Eggo waffles instead of bread on a sandwich.
Was supposed to be a poor man's chicken and waffles, turns out Eggos are flavorless without syrup and serve as sturdier buns that hold your ketchup in place.
Every U.S. state holds onto money that people are owed and haven't claimed. Including from third-parties. You just have to go to their website and look yourself up. I got $500 from a computer company I bought a laptop from once, and a few other small payments too.
Start here and don't forget to look at "Search by State." You may not have anything coming to you... but you might! I will post the actual link in a follow up comment.
It's about this guy and his friends riding blazing couch down the street and ending up crashing into this old guys fence and ending up laughing with the couch on fire
She withdrew behind her bed curtains again, absentmindedly renewing the Silencing Charm and chewing on her lower lip as she thought her idea over. How would she work it? Who would go first? How long would it take? Was this even a good idea? She had just decided when a warm weight suddenly settled on top of her, lips finding hers.
Oh, yes, this is a perfect idea. Her eyes slid closed as she hungrily returned the kiss, hands rubbing down her visitor's back, eliciting quiet whimpers. When hands stroked over her breasts, Hermione moaned in delight. She moaned again when a tongue entered her mouth, sliding over her own, bringing with it a salty taste that was at once alien and familiarโand enticing.
Hermione broke the kiss and rolled both of them over, pinning her visitor to the bed, and kissed down her jaw to her ear. โHow is it?โ she asked in a whisper.
โThe part you're about to go through is maddening,โ her own voice replied, โbut judging from the reaction I saw, it'll be wellโmmmmm.โ Hermione had drawn her visitor'sโher own, reallyโearlobe into her mouth, tickling its underside with her tongue. She began kissing down her counterpart's neck, nibbling by her collarbone and enjoying the slight gasp she got in response.
โI'm not really sureโโ
โDon't worry, you'll do fine. Just do whatever comes to you.โ
So Hermione continued her line of kisses, tracing her visitor's collarbone and then between her breasts. When she started tracing the bottom of her counterpart's breast with her tongue, the woman under her whimpered in frustration. โPlease...every second you tease me is a second you'll be teased...โ
โBut I like being teased,โ she answered.
โNot this much...โ
She took pity on herself, drawing out a moan by kissing a stiff nipple, but only briefly. Instead, she sat up and reached to the pillow beside her visitor's head, picking up the quill.
Hermione grinned wickedly and her counterpart's eyes widened. โYou know what I'll do if you don't stay still and quiet through this...โ The woman nodded curtly and rested her head against her pillow, trying to relax, trying not to react...
Hermione dragged the end of the feather down her visitor's cheek and across her lips, then down her jaw, finally retracing the path her mouth had laid down earlier: down her neck, along her collarbone, between her breasts and below one...
Sweat was starting to appear on her counterpart's body as she fought to follow the instruction. Hermione heard a gagged whimper as she dragged the feather in circles on her visitor's breast, but decided to ignore it. If she couldn't stay quiet now, then when the feather reached her nipple...
The woman shuddered under her, moaning loudly enough to wake the entire tower, were it not for the Silencing Charm.
Hermione gave her counterpart a sweet smile, then turned around. Pinning a leg down with one arm, she tickled the visitor's foot with the feather.
The shudders were certainly much stronger, and the laughs nearly as loud. Hermione unexpectedly found herself moaning as her counterpart bucked against her, writhing against her nub. Somehow she kept counting out the seconds; sixty of them passed all too quickly, and she dropped the quill, waiting while the woman's panting slowed.
The sweat on the visitor's body was now visibly beaded; a few drops slid into her belly button as her breath calmed โYou're...going to...wish you didn't do that,โ she said.
Hermione smiled as she leaned down and licked those drops back up, tasting a hint of chocolateโa remnant of the soap from her bath earlier. Her counterpart let out a shuddering breath.
โNot even with what comes next?โ
โM-maybe then...โ
Hermione bent to the visitor's breasts and took the time to delicately lick every single drop of sweat. By the time she was finished, her counterpart's chest was heaving again. Hermione glanced up at her own face, eyes lidded and slightly glazed. โNow, or I'll hex you into next Tuesday.โ
Hermione knew herself well enough to know that she was both serious about the threat and perfectly capable of making good on it. She slid down her counterpart's body, pressing kisses into the soft, warm fleshโ I never realized my skin was so smoothโand finally reached her folds.
Her visitor's excitement was visible, even her thighs shiny with moisture. Hermione brought her head down to taste it, but a growl above her and hands in her hair guided her elsewhere.
Well, if you insist... Her tongue found the spot.
โOh, yes...โ
Whimpers and moans eked her on as Hermione used different patterns, different pressure, different rhythms. When she charmed her wand and slid it into her counterpart, the moaning woman started rocking back against her. She followed every choked request for โbiggerโ or โharderโ or โfasterโ or โmore vibrationโ, until her visitor was moving spastically, unable to speakโbut still hadn't come.
โM-m-m-more...โ she managed to choke out.
Hermione couldn't think of a way to give her more. Unless...
Hermione removed the wand, ignoring the resulting groan, and silently charmed the quill. It floated up her counterpart's body and brushed across her nipple.
The first orgasm came at that moment. The visitor pulled Hermione's head against her, wrapped her legs tightly around Hermione's back, and let out a scream that must've tested the limits of the Silencing Charm.
The second came when another quill floated from the trunk behind them and did the same to the other breast. She'd timed it just rightโshe was just coming down from the first.
The third came when the wand reentered her, and the forth came when it started moving. The fifth came when the vibration started again, and the sixth and seventh were brought on when it hit just the right spot.
Hermione let her counterpart down gently. When she had dropped the spells (except the Silencing Charm), cleaned her wand, and put her counterpart's Time Turner back in its compartment, she slid back up her visitor's body and nestled against her side, cuddling.
โThank you...โ the visitor whispered.
Hermione gave her a long, slow kiss before pulling the blanket around them. โI figured I'd get the favor returned.โ
Her counterpart chuckled. โYou will. Drop the Silencing Charm and leave on the second chime. One turn...โ Her eyes closed, and she drifted off.
After dropping the charm, Hermione rested her head on the other her's shoulder, thinking about this situationโabout the magic involved, about the metaphysics (was it sex or masturbation?), about how frustrated she was after an hour of this. The first chime of the school's clock took her by surprise, but by the second chime she was kneeling over her counterpart, reaching for the Time Turner, twisting it...
On my porn throwaway account I saved a picture. It was of a Swedish model that I don't find particularly attractive and doesn't quite fit my taste, but this picture of her is at the perfect angle and the way she's standing and has her head in the perfect position that she just looks perfect.
dude posts pic with fighter, users make fun of him for being short, and he responds with an album of shirtless pics and defends himself in hilariously embarrassing fashion. He's a good sport about it though, still posts there under the same account.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:19 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God I wish I saved the askreddit thread where the question was guess my profession (or something like that) and everyone kept answering prostitute. It was hilarious.
I rarely throw likes on YT videos, but on the occasion that I do, I do it because the content was something that fortified something that I believe in. My parents had this firm believe that cartoons, even though it's rated M will still be considered for kids because it's cartoon. The fallacy is strong in this one. Video games is also considered for kids only, also even though it's rated M.
Liked videos are videos that questioned that "backwards" thinking and videos that showed that video games / cartoons / anime can be for adults too.
Sorry for the slight rant. Just needed to get it out here.
I like this one. Almost everyone winds up in a hospital at some point in their life. This is a good list of what to have people bring you or for you to take to others.
I have this comment saved too, it's from a askreddit thread very long ago I don't have the source anymore, very insightful, here's a similar one about growing old:
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts.
When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well.
Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him.
Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: โHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?โ I told him I had.
โThatโs what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itโs like youโre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youโre young and think itโs going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.โ
Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me.
โAnd if youโre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.โ
We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on.
โYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itโs almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnโt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canโt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.โ
Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket.
โItโs a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereโs nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnโt taken my youth for granted. But itโs too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iโll never get the hot water back on again.โ
He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.
He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself.
โAnd thatโs what it feels like to grow old.โ
Without a doubt the whole "Side of Beef" controversy, they toss her in there in a way that looks like she is the most hated person in America lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thNjxRMYOII
Science has become the Left's religion, because if you disagree with science, you must literally be a retard. What they don't tell you is that empirical evidence can be dramatically skewed and still stand up to peer review (Just like polls!).
A new study contradicting an old one comes every day, but God forbid you disagree with one study or another.
Th3R0c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stufoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All credit goes to - /u/equilshift for this bit of beauty.
Listen man, I am going to say something that you can ignore and go back to your animemes and laugh off like most of us here, or you can take to heart and try and change your life.
You want that? You sure? Are you absolutely sure?
Here is the thing. The current you isn't going to get it. Not now, not ever. Never. You will never experience love as you are right now.
If you really, truly want it, you are going to have to change your life. Don't stop watching animu or jacking it to OPM parody doujin. That's fine. What you are going to have to change isn't your hobbies (but please introduce them to possible romantic partners slowly).
From here on out I am going to assume you are a man interested in women. Believe it or not, the advice doesn't change if you are a woman or gay or both. Just the pronouns.
So here is what you need to do: change your paradigm on what love is. Love isn't some sickness that you and another person mutually catch for each other. Love is a fuckin' castle that you and another person build for each other. It takes WORK, man, WORK. First you gotta lay the foundation. Do you respect yourself? Do you love yourself? Can you look in the mirror and smile at what you see? Don't worry if you can't do that all the time, most people can't. But if you can't think of something positive about yourself, how can you expect other people to do so?
So if you can't, think about something small you want to change about yourself. Really small. Maybe you want a stylish haircut or to grow facial hair. Maybe you want to shave your balls or workout at the gym more. Again, start small. Do like 3 pushups and 3 situps every day. Tell yourself no anime tiddies until you do. Why? Because you are worth it. You are a valuable person. Reward yourself for good behavior. It sounds silly, but it works.
Every day, do one thing, just ONE THING to make yourself closer to the you that you want to be. It won't be just a day or two of this, it will be a month or two, but you will start to notice a change. All of a sudden, you will be a little more confident in that haircut. 3 pushups will turn into 10. You will miss a day here or there, that is fine. Here is another big key: FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR YOUR MISTAKES, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. Don't hate yourself because you are human. Love yourself for trying. As long as you try. And if you aren't trying, try to examine why. Scared of failure? It's because no one ever forgave you when you failed. So you are going to have to put on your big boy undies and forgive yourself. Scared of the unknown? Take baby steps. Don't expect too much too fast. Scared to succeed because you are afraid of future expectations? Guess what, bub, future expectations are happening anyway, whether you like it or not, so take a deep breath and realize you are already fulfilling expectations of some kind or another.
So now that you are laying the foundation by loving yourself and valuing yourself, what is next? Well, my suggestion is to strike up a conversation with a girl. Any excuse you have, make some small talk. You know why? Because you can spend your whole life waiting for the right one, or you can understand that love is a battlefield and once again, you need to build the castle.
So there is a girl who sits next to you in class? Ask her what she thought about the reading. Ask her what she thought about the test. What she thought about university sports team's performance. Does she have a unique article of clothing like super bright red shoes? Make an innocent comment like, 'wow, those are bright red shoes'.
Chances are high that it goes nowhere. Guess what, that isn't failure and even if it is, who gives a shit. Don't worship women or the ground they walk on. Let me tell you something little man, I have, in person, seen a human come out of another human. Once you see that, vaginas start to lose their holy temple status. They are just a body part, and women are just people. Don't put them on pedestals. So the convo goes nowhere? Who cares, you just dipped your toe into the romantic world. So you do it again with another girl. Who cares if she is cute or not, fat or skinny, big tits or no tits. Doesn't matter. Just talk to as many girls as you can as often as you can. It definitely helps to have excuses, and it can be scary as hell. I am not good at it and I am married. But keep at it and you realize it isn't some mythical activity that only Chad Thundercock can do, anybody can and everyone should. (And guess what, Chad Thundercock doesn't exist. He isn't real.) The more women you interact with, the less you will see them as mythical beings who grant love from on high, and the more you will see them for what they are: real people who want real love too. With flaws and warts and beauty and all.
At this point, I can hear you saying, "but /u/equilshift , I am shy. I am an introvert. I can't go out and meet women." If you say that shit to me in person, I will slap your fucking face, I swear to god. You know why? Because that means you expect that women owe it to you to see how great of a guy you are without you doing any work. It is pure selfishness. Plenty of shy people are out there, going in and out of other people, shy or not. Why are you so special that women should just come to you and find out what a great guy you are without you putting in any effort. You know who gets to do that? Eroge main characters. But that is fiiiiiiiiiictttttion. Not real. And even they have to have conversations to trigger flags. You have it even tougher out here in realityville.
But you know what is on your side? You are a great guy. Maybe people can't see it right now because you can't see it right now, but you are. And women want great guys (well, the straight/bi ones). They want to talk to guys, they want to date guys, they want to fall in love and be loved by great guys, and they want to suck on guys dicks and get blasted in the face buy a wad of great guy cum (well, the fun ones anyway). So actually, the field is tilted in your favor.
But nothing is going to happen unless you get out there and fuckin' make it happen.
So, to sum it up:
1) Learn to love yourself. Focus on doing things that you want to do to improve yourself, one small thing at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day.
2) Make encounters happen. Even the slightest hint of a chance, strike up a conversation. Because flirting is just conversation with mutual attraction. But you can practice the conversation without that.
3) Forgive yourself when you fail, because you are human, you deserve forgiveness, especially from yourself, and because you can't try new things and change your life unless you are ready to forgive yourself. Because trying new things definitely comes with mistakes.
If you want more specific advice about talking to women, let me know cause there is plenty more to be said, but the fundamentals are there. If you can get as far as I outlined you will be able to take it from there on your own, so don't even worry, my dude.
It's all going to be okay, but only if you get off your ass and do something about it.
Also, seek professional counseling. Depression is no laughing matter, no matter how fucked up we are on this sub. Medication helps a lot of people, but so does having a trained professional to help you deal. They aren't paid friends, they are professionals. Don't make your friends try to play the role of counselor or psychologist, it isn't fair to them or you.
There was an Askreddit thread that prompted 'what's the most "your parents didn't love you" given name you've ever heard?
My answer was: Used to know a girl who introduced herself as follows: "My name is Jacinta! It rhymes with Placenta"
And, I mean... it doesn't really. JUH-sin-tuh is how it was pronounced. Close enough I guess.
Anyway, her parents were first cousins. None of those kids were right.
Edit: Also, I've mentioned this before, but my cousin's dad was in the army with a dude named Richard...his last name was Head.
qsick5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:28:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't saying its saved locally. It's talking about the save button built into Reddit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna hit 2 birds with one stone on this. First I think I want to try and explain why all of this happens.
As a guy with experience in plenty of "alpha male" style relationships from my career choices, I can say that it is joking around and they are not intending to hurt one another. It's about the wit of the person making fun, and the willingness to accept ones weakness of the person being made fun of.
It is an act of bonding between people who have established each other's boundaries and are willing to play.
For example. Let's take a group of male friends playing a card game at a table. Male B is bald, Male F is fat, and Male U is ugly.
A language warning is in order for the sake of this sub's rules
A conversation like this may occur:
F: "3 of a kind, gentlemen. I win!"
U: "Damn."
B: jokingly "Show us wear you're keeping the extra cards, F."
F: "I don't have extra cards. I can just read B's cards off of the shine from his head."
B & U: laughter
B: "It also give you the advantage so that you don't have to look directly at Medusa-face over there and turn to stone."
U & F: laughter
U: "Yeah, well, me and B never have to worry about women running away screaming when we say hello to them. I turn them to stone, and by the time they see F, they've already fallen into his gravity well."
B: laughter
F: "sarcastically Are you trying to say I'm fat? ... NOOOOO! How 'come no one told me about this? How was I supposed to know?!!"
B: "Dude! You could have just looked at my forehead!"
B, F, U: laughter
Okay, so that's a pretty typical, and light hearted example, of what I've seen. Let me explain what was happening.
Every human being creates some amount of emotional walls to protect themselves from cruelty and maliciousness. It varies in height and depth. However, these walls are invisible.
I'm gonna make a bit of an analogy here, but stay with me. Let's pretend you are in a field and in front of you is an invisible wall. You can't see it, but it will stop you if you walk up to it. If you wanted to know where it was without moving, you could toss something at it like a rubber ball. When it bounces, you know where the wall is. If it somehow moved closer to you, the ball bounces back sooner. If you want to break the wall, you'll have to throw something hard, like a brick. If the wall has come down, the ball will never bounce back.
The playful mocking is a form of each man bouncing a ball off of each other's invisible wall. It's well intended, but it also says a lot about the relationship, and how each other is doing. Lobbing a joke at someone is throwing red rubber ball at another person's emotional wall. Each bounce off the wall says that "I know where your wall is, and I respect your boundary." It also says, "I'm not going to throw a brick at it and hurt you." It creates a bond by establishing everyone's boundaries and respecting them.
If U made his fat joke and F responded: "Alright guys, that's enough." It means that the ball bounced back immediately. F's boundaries just changed and are further out (and thus more protective) than they were before. It's not too concerning, but something has changed. Maybe F needs re-assurance later, but at the same time U now knows not to throw any balls too hard at F, lest the ball bounce off and hit him in the face. A new boundary was established, and all parties must recognize, and respect, that.
If U had tried to hurt F, he might have said something like "At least I'm not a fat cheating fuck." To which F might have responded: "What the hell, man?" In this case, U threw a brick at F, and brick's don't bounce back. The action is clear, an intention to hurt, and the relationship is damaged, but the wall is thankfully in tact. Now, something might need to be adjusted between the two because clearly U isn't respecting F's boundaries.
But now if F had responded with, "Yeah..." that's a whole different problem. That means that the ball just didn't come back because the wall isn't up anymore. Someone broke F's wall and he's left exposed to all the cruelty that the world has to offer. That's bad, and his friends will notice that someone hurt him. If they are good friends they will either drop it and not throw anything his way while he rebuilds, or they'll help rebuild with him.
I can tell you that I've personally had long emotional conversations with men like this and it ends with jokes, comedy, and small insults. The reason is because if you're going to help F rebuild his wall, it's still invisible. You still have to toss a little rubber ball at it to make sure the wall will hold. A wall isn't good enough if it get's knocked down by a rubber ball.
Now, are a lot of women like this, no not really. Some women are, and it's clear when that is the case. They'll be treated like this. Women that aren't comfortable with boundary testing like this, shouldn't be treated like that. A good way to tell when you crossed that line is when a ball bounces off the woman's head and now she's hurt by what was supposed to be a joke. Now you feel like an asshole because she didn't have an invisible emotional wall. Worse, this is a good way to get a brick tossed at your wall if she's one of your guy-friend's girlfriends. That brick gets a little note attached to it that says, "Don't you do that again or I'm throwing a boulder next time."
Now, /u/beepoobobeep said something interesting that I feel should also be addressed here.
No, you're pretending it's "just joking" for some kind of asinine masculinity-proving bullshit. This is why you never discuss any of your feelings and problems with your male "friends" and dump it all on me and other women in your life.
Now, there are guys that like to throw bricks, and there are some guys that aren't emotionally mature enough to figure out that getting bricks thrown at you isn't worth the relationship. That does happen when people don't pick up on normal social cues or when the guy with the bricks is willfully ignoring it for his own desires to be a deouchbag. Or even as a preemptive measure for his own, probably insecure and shitty, wall. A la: "Look at me! I throw bricks! Don't toss stuff at me or I'll get really mad and throw even bigger bricks, brah!"
In a situation like that, a guy needs help rebuilding his wall. But rebuilding that wall takes a lot of effort. If he's not getting his friends to help, or he keeps going back to someone who throws bricks at him, he needs to find new friends. I can certainly understand a woman's frustration with helping a dude constantly rebuild a wall that he keeps letting get smashed and unrepaired.
However, I've got to say, that if you think your guy friends are coming to you with lots of emotional issues because they are throwing these joking rubber balls at each other (rather than bricks), let me assure you that it's not the half of it.
I know guys whom I've had to talk to that had 9mm's in their mouth, and guys who've been gang raped, and guys who lose their wives, their friends, their kids, and their minds. The phrase "I need to go home and talk to my wife/girlfriend/mother about this." has never come out of their mouths." A lot of them have not, would not, and never will tell their romantic or familial female companions about it because it's a burden on them already, and they don't want to dump it on someone they love.
It would be like going to a woman who doesn't have a big emotional wall, and backing up, and pouring out a dump truck full of bricks onto her. Why would they do that? You don't even have a wall to protect you! So, as a guy friend, they might come to me and tell me, "Yeah, I just... I had it in my mouth with the safety off.", it doesn't deter me because I can deflect a lot of those bricks. When they see it doesn't hurt me, they know that they can be more open and get more of the bricks they've been accumulating behind their walls. It's a test to see how much I can be trusted. When they see I'm not phased, they know they can continue.
That being said, if a guy is using you as an emotional dumping ground, he's so far in the wrong that you should definitely drop him or tell him to unfuck himself right quick. But yeah, most guys (again, speaking generally about heterosexual men) don't tell people have their problems, and explicitly avoid telling their female romantic partners or family members.
I always have to ask: Where is this alleged 'SAVED' section? Do I have a different Reddit than everyone else? Previously, someone tried point me to it, but the instructions did not match my view.
Saved comment
DrIblis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi everyone!
While the thread itself is marked NSFW, we request that you still mark your comments as such if they are linking to NSFW material.
Thank you!
eugenesbluegenes ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 14:45:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AKA, tagging a thread in AskReddit as NSFW means utterly nothing.
Also, when did the rule change?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/61lrzi/guys_what_inappropriate_questions_about_girls/dffunn7/
Mantelmann ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 15:25:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it does. More people will click on it.
We have all done it.
OstrichFingers ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:13:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mot gonna lie, the NSFW threads are more fun
eugenesbluegenes ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 15:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have an effect, but it means nothing.
RedSquaree ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but he wanted a sticky.
Urbanviking1 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:42:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did this rule change because of me?
source NSFW
brickmack ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:03:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...thats darn impressive
Oligomer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/selffuck
Obviously NSFW in case anyone needed to know
anosmiasucks ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:26:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What in the fucking fuck?
Pookah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/NSFW (NSFW)
manginahunter70 ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 17:58:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must have been invented when Hillary lost. Not a Trump supporter but the humor in this tragedy is the only thing keeping me insane...
beckertastic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:29:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The government has been fucking us for decades. They're tired and they'd prefer we just fuck ourselves.
manginahunter70 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can get behind this :)
StallinForTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could do that
slash1265 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WELL DONE
RonaldTheGiraffe ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, fuck me..
TradeSex4Potato ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:24:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we have sex?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:15:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I have a potato are we on?
dark_bug ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:21:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is incredibly redundant
Lovethoselittletrees ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredibly redundant
woostr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredibly redundant.
Lovethoselittletrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS is incredibly redundant
PM_me_something_real ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I've made myself perfectly redundant
draztico ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:01:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is redundantly incredible.
Rachelle112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredibly redundant
nkhy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats stupid as fuck
Johnny_-Ringo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:32:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf is the point of mrking the thread nsfw? Dumb as fuck
steamwhy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:09:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks mods we're babies and need to have our hands held
Amiracle56 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:16:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does everything have to be NSFW
Sedirex_KR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:28:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets more karma.
SnipingBunuelo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome!
Geralt_of_Rivia1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/61lrzi/guys_what_inappropriate_questions_about_girls/dffunn7/
Which is it?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ummm no
anesu-x ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:10:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good move
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 13:37:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FennlyXerxich ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 13:40:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this way, people know which ones are safe to open and they don't have to skip over everything. It's for convenience.
Coltsnizzle ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:02:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people who are just here for the NSFW comments can skip over the SFW ones.
It's better for everyone!
piepei ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:55:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So then what's even the point of marking a comment thread with NSFW?
Darth_Kadius ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It opens up the thread for NSFW content, I believe
Integrityrise ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:08:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the post is asking what is your favorite thing saved. Meaning posts in here are going to be SFW or NSFW. If someone just so happens to be looking thru and they find something they want to open and it's not marked NSFW then they know they can open it with no worries.
eugenesbluegenes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:44:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then what's the point of tagging the thread NSFW?
It's like going to a bar that ID's you for a bracelet at the entrance, then asks for ID every time you order a drink. It's silly.
Integrityrise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:47:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's for caution. It's like the warning before movies that say "Some content may be blah blah blah" that way you're aware that SOME of the content may not be safe. It's obvious that not everything in this post is NSFW so now you have a warning that some of the content isn't and then you have which posts are specifically marked as such.
ElectronicDrug ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:52:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're in a position that you can't view NSFW material, then why are you opening a NSFW thread in the first place
DrProlapse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people can view it, they just don't want to.
ElectronicDrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then again, don't go into a NSFW thread?
DrProlapse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the thread isn't only for NSFW. It's just a curtesy thing. Believe it or not, people can save humorous content, cute content, NSFW content, and much more. This isn't a porn sub, it's not always NSFW.
I would never ask someone in a thread marked NSFW to tag their shit NSFW, but I'd never fight against the rule either. It's five extra key stokes that help some people.
ElectronicDrug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not fighting the rule, just arguing that it's silly.
DrProlapse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit yeah, it's silly. But that doesn't make it any less helpful to those who would appreciate it
Integrityrise ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well with that logic might as well not view anything anywhere except for in the comfort of your own home at all. Now I have a question. What's the issue? It's to help people view content, why is it bad that it's marked as such?
ElectronicDrug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's forcing an inconvenience on others for the convenience of someone else. It's fine if people want to mark their comments out of their own free will, but forcing people to is silly.
Its an argument of over regulation than that of the actual issue here.
And no its not the same logic when the comment thread is already marked.
Integrityrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a mobile app user, so anything marked NSFW just has a little box saying so. Is it different on desktop or anything else where it's directly an inconvenience? Just trying to understand.
ElectronicDrug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marking your comments NSFW? You can't do so AFAIK without just specifying it in the text
eugenesbluegenes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more like having a warning on a movie that's already rated R. Pointless.
Integrityrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would graphic videos on the news be a better example? News covers a broad band of things but they give a warning as to what may contain tragic content.
eugenesbluegenes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really.
Integrityrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I give up. Not really understanding what the issue is.
eugenesbluegenes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pointless warnings over and over.
piepei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but those are the same rules for a thread that isn't marked NSFW
fez1o1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't browee this thread at work. The whole thing has a warning. I should be allowed to say
"I want to fuck Adolf Hitler's pussy with Rasputin's dildo" as much as I'd like without needing a NSFW tag
Integrityrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Linking to NSFW material" as in the comment has a link attached. Not censoring a normal text comment.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:40:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jetz72 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:55:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea is that the thread is going to be linking to both SFW and NSFW content, but they only had the two options, so they erred on the side of caution.
Math_Blaster_ ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just hate that people need everything covered in nerf foam.
Just be responsible where you reddit people!
DietCandy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:25:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's just a text thread. People can be in the thread at work without clicking a link to something NSFW, but to do that, comments would need to be marked.
Slime_Monster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:03:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Links in a NSFW thread should just be assumed to be NSFW. If anything, they should have people mark SFW links. As the rule stands now, there's no difference between NSFW threads and normal ones aside from the quantity of NSFW links.
Jewsus_Krist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:09:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This works too.
crumbbelly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a retarded rule. May as well remove the ability to tag AR posts as NSFW then.
NukeML ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 13:40:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks mod
MAGMEDIA357 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously
son_ofthe_risingmoon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:39:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
rftaylor26 ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:18:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good guy/girl moderator
GetLikeB ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:09:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That happened at my school haha
jamminjon82 ยท 4575 points ยท Posted at 13:00:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/Zdl1ugC
Makes me giggle to the point where my wife has forbid me to watch it in bed.
Viking042900 ยท 1217 points ยท Posted at 05:18:25 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing okay right until the end when the cat takes off and says "ha ha bitches, I'm not paying for the pipe." Totally lost it.
ab2874 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 09:00:53 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should put "Fuck you cat, where is my thank you?" after the cat says that.
FelonyFey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:29:30 on November 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah that helped"
my favorite part :D
"Aaaaaaaaand my neck's broke"
PM_me_ur_navel_girl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:33:00 on November 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not my tail!
Vanity_Blade ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 03:43:14 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/Zdl1ugC.gifv
Might load faster
-Anyar- ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:07:31 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
> takes 80 years 8 months 2 weeks and 5 days to load GIF
> uses final moments to load comments
> link + "Might load faster"
> ded
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:45 on July 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
fishchaser ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:15:43 on August 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this was posted a month ago, but it's never too late to say thanks for sharing. That was enjoyable
omaca ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:24:55 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this was posted two months ago, but it's never too late to say thanks for sharing.
I laughed!
_b1ack0ut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:32 on October 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this was posted approximately 3 months ago, but itโs never to late to say thanks for sharing
I had a giggle
its_brew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:20 on August 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it's never too late to reply to a message to say the same thing ! :) I have a feeling ill come back to this post when I need a giggle .
easierthistime ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:27:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this so much!
moonshine91 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:09:57 on July 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just happened to me last week! Was watching that gif and woke my husband up due to my intense giggling which then morphed into full on laughter.
highflyingpigeons ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:26:31 on August 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to stop watching because my boss yelled at me for laughing to loud
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:07:49 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pinches face
Yeah... that helped.
KrishaCZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:56 on October 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I have to go through r/askreddit/top during a lecture
Timedoutsob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:50 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahah made me giggle too. Thanks.
HoopHereIAm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:57 on September 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck i was in class trying so hard not to laugh. I understand your wife's POV perfectly. I love this
lazyjew555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:07 on October 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't breathe
elena1099 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:58 on November 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for making me absolutely die of laughter
Catalystic_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on November 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just made my cat really concerned by nonstop giggling at this.
Zombiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:43 on November 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cut it head off I make a dinner rofl
ElliottPolin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:03:56 on December 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just reposted this.
theraininspainfallsm ยท 3527 points ยท Posted at 22:34:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this ask reddit response to the question "You're Christopher Nolan. You decide to troll the film world by making a movie so ridiculous anybody defending it would look like a tool. What's your plotline?:
uninspiredalias ยท 453 points ยท Posted at 22:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...why is Ellen in the cell?
thisvideoiswrong ยท 494 points ยท Posted at 21:32:04 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Several days late, but I'm pretty sure she's a devil and Cane is an angel. So she can appear wherever she wants, and at that point she's gloating. Also explains Cane's apparent mission, and his line, "Father help us all."
uninspiredalias ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 21:38:54 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH.
Kinda cheesy, but that makes more sense, thanks!
Pixie0422 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:17:18 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did Ellen get replaced with Cillian Murphy? Is that insinuating that Hitler was gay?
voidofthings ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:04:50 on October 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it might be Levitt changing to Murphy, since he facially resembles Hitler better?
SuperKing80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:00 on December 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my biggest question as well. lol
theraininspainfallsm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:08:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
erm, unless i'm miss something she's not?
uninspiredalias ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:55:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theraininspainfallsm ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:00:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sorry, i didn't pick that up. I honestly don't know. it my be a stylistic choice, as we are about to see the setting change from 70's america to 20's Berlin. and Page being replaced with another actress. which i think works well. or if it breaks the rules too much i don't think its vital to the plot and Page can meet him outside of the prison before it all changes including herself.
theoriok ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:08:14 on October 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cillian Murphy is not an actress
Vintitch ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw where this was going after hearing the rejected art college thing, but for some reason, rather than spoiling it, it made it better and more interesting. Weird how that works.
FifthDragon ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:49:35 on August 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your brain is basically hardwired to make predictions and see patterns, and you get a reward for doing so correctly. Basically, being right feels good
Maja_May ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:56:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I read in this thread so far.
RC2460juan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:13:58 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely
ClumsyFleshMannequin ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 01:39:59 on July 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuckin Jesus. This would probably actually do well.....
gegenangriff ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:00:34 on July 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what's wrong with me, but when he retells, how he got rejected from art school, I thought, that's for sure Hitler and when I realized, I was right, I got so happy, that I'm sad now, because it's so stupid that unimportant things make me feel so good :)
JTM13254 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:22:15 on October 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the little things in life that bring us joy. Don't be sad, even if it's 93 days later :)
MelkiorTheMaker ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:07:06 on July 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain why Ellen Page gets replaced by Cillian Murphy? Is it just because she was an angel acting through his friend? I'm pretty confused.
theraininspainfallsm ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:11:33 on July 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think it's just to cement the change from the 70's to the 20's but honestly i have no idea.
MissDaly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:48:44 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but why would it change from Page(a girl) to Murphy (a man)?
theraininspainfallsm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:18 on September 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i honestly have no idea.
Gettsy ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:11:39 on July 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, when I got to "Michael Cane urges him to continue." what I saw in my head was Cane convincing Levitt to kill himself and I lost it.
ToFaceA_god ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:00:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved this comment. I'd watch the shit out of that movie.
theraininspainfallsm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:54:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes, same here
PeacefulHavoc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:57:19 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I want to see Lewitt playing young Hitler, accent and all.
Brutal_Bros ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:18:43 on October 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew what was going on once this popped up
Johnappleseed4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:09 on July 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing.
maracusdesu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho..ly shit.
mongeliam ยท 2197 points ยท Posted at 14:41:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blind girl and her cat
Still make me laugh. The other saved are mostly r/showerthoughts r/CoolGuides & r/WritingPrompts .
Soulren ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 08:26:41 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit dude I was laughing at first cause I thought she had always thought the raccoon was her cat, but then it turns out she had an actual cat and now I'm laughing more.
JazzFan418 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 11:36:58 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course she knows shes playing with an actual racoon. Just forcing the tag 'blind girl plays with cat" just forces a comedic situation. She's not blind and not "thinking she's playing with her cat but a wild racoon got in instead". Besides somebody is standing next to her filming.
Soulren ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:50:28 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:44:54 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties
Mutterer ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:48:56 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course he's not fun at parties. He over explains obvious jokes that no one needed an explanation for.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:45 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or serious lmao
omaca ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:27:37 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course he's being sarcastic. He posts an obvious response to...
...ah fuck it.
Mutterer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:25:49 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not knowing is half the fun
JazzFan418 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:49 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I want to know is how two of you stumbled into a 2-month-old comment chain at the same time?
Mutterer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:17 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment linked to here from the front page of askreddit https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/70q5f2/reddit_what_are_the_most_useful_askreddit_posts/dn54bwx/
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:58 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
oversettDenee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:26:45 on July 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck I haven't laughed this hard since happy Chewbacca
omaca ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:06 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Chewbacca. Man, I'd forgotten about that. So happy, so funny.
oversettDenee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:21 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, I forgot about that finally, time to watch it again (:
ImNewHereBeNicePls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:52 on July 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god I just stopped watching after a few seconds, I didn't even realise what the ending was
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:20 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
subbed to r/CoolGuides thanks!
DonJuanBandito ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 03:41:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been looking at this thread for about two hours on and off, and your post got me.
Vindico_Eques ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:09:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been here since yesterday. Pure gold here.
Tunalic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:14:32 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working on day 3 myself :)
n00bi3s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:59 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god ๐๐๐
Cantum2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:23 on November 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/trashpanda
Ferg8 ยท 927 points ยท Posted at 14:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not funny or NSFW... but it's practical, interesting and I hope to never use it.
How to do an insurance claim
Bawbag3000 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:50:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker had fun with his home insurance recently after a burglary. His laptop (and only computer in the house) was one of the things taken. Insurance company sent him a voucher to replace it like for like at a mainstream computer outlet, only he couldn't get it for that price in store. He called the insurance and asked what's going on, and they said the gave him the voucher for the online price. "And how am I meant to get online?" he enquired, "Just use your comput-aaah I see the problem sir, we'll order it for you".
NedryOS ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:20:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just leave this here
gaveedraseven ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:24:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is super helpful and I hope I never need it.
SoMoneyAndDontKnowIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of helpful stuff I always save and was hoping to find more of here.
edaz91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:19 on July 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I read that in Saul Goodmans voice
HollyWood45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:03 on September 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, as a Houstonian this post has become my Canon
Martinspire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:27:24 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how useful that is outside of the US. Not sure how things are done here in the Netherlands but I think it might be different.
Still, making pictures of your house on yearly basis so you have something to fall back on, seems like a good idea
Kuramiyuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:50 on October 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this. I know this comment is old, but that comment you linked was helpful to me as a victim of Harvey. Insurance has already been filed but I may need that comment again.
Ferg8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:37 on October 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to see it will help some people. I hope you'll be alright with that terrible tragedy.
Kuramiyuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:39 on October 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you :) In a way the flood was cleansing. It got rid of all my physical junk that I was always stressing over. Now I can focus less on the things piled up in my closet and more on rebuilding and bettering myself.
[deleted] ยท 3416 points ยท Posted at 13:29:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Post by u/sozaiix3:
I have this comment saved too, it's from a askreddit thread very long ago I don't have the source anymore, very insightful, here's a similar one about growing old:
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts.
When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well.
Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him.
Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: โHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?โ I told him I had.
โThatโs what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itโs like youโre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youโre young and think itโs going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.โ
Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me.
โAnd if youโre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.โ
We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on.
โYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itโs almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnโt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canโt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.โ
Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket.
โItโs a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereโs nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnโt taken my youth for granted. But itโs too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iโll never get the hot water back on again.โ
He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.
He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself.
โAnd thatโs what it feels like to grow old.โ
Edit: Link to thread - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5cwzhn/comment/da0m5q2
OccasionallyKenji ยท 1014 points ยท Posted at 01:18:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post has made me realize that I am not at all at peace with getting older and my own mortality. Middle of the day and I'm filled with terror. Huzzah.
hustl3tree5 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:01:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is. It comes with age.
nowonmai ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:06:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
46 here... Still not at peace with it.
HumansWillComeForYou ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 10:10:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
17 here, already terrified
zardez ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 14:22:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
28 here, source of constant anxiety for me.
WordsMort47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:36 on December 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, something that pops up every now and then
hustl3tree5 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:45:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come back in 20 and tell me how you feel
nowonmai ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:57:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having seen 2 people in their 80s die recently, I really doubt there is any time that you're ok with it. Maybe if you're in serious pain, but in relatively good order l can't see it.
hustl3tree5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:59:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes of course if you're in good health and everything your shower is still warm. Like you said if you're in pain
Remdelacrem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:23:06 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people don't believe that death is the end. For those people, it's not that bad.
nowonmai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:19:14 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps. I can't relate to that myself
Remdelacrem ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:42:03 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry.
nowonmai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:50:56 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why? I'm perfectly happy.
52576078 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:14:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need to support people like SENS and other anti-aging researchers. http://www.sens.org/
HiNiceButt ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:00:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I just lost my erection
A_Booger_In_The_Hand ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:11:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Work thru it man...
kaleidoscape ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:50:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go check out the facebook granny again.
syh7 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather recently passed away and this brought tears to
hismy eyes. Thank you <3[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:59:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My condolences. Hope you're feeling alright.
syh7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happened three-ish weeks ago, I'm okay now. We were pretty tight so it was hard in the beginning (especially because it happened so fast - three weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer he was gone) but I'm fine now :) Thank for asking.
SoMoneyAndDontKnowIt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:45:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean it brought tears to his eyes because he like read it a while ago...when he was still here? Because if not I'm a bit scared.
syh7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops... nobody must know
Not_A_Human_BUT ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:40:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fuck.
kaleidoscape ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:48:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking crying. Goddamn it.
dporter1191 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:37:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the most motivating things I've ever read. Just the metaphor and imagery really works and you can relate to what is being said. I'm gonna go do something productive...
quesojacksoncat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:45:25 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was beautiful but gave me a sense of terror that i'm wasting my youth.
thekure23 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:33:09 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, you forgot about the best part! Poem for your sprog made a poem based on that analogy, here it is:
"I pondered, pained, to see him kneel,
And talk of growing old -
I didn't think I'd like the feel
Of water running cold.
He caught the look at once and smiled,
And said: 'But nevermind -
There's warmth to hold and cherish, child,
In what you leave behind.'
He wrapped me in his arms with pride,
And said: 'And don't forget -
A hug can keep me warm,' he sighed...
'A little longer yet.'"
AM_I_A_PERVERT ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:16:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I. Loved. This. Made me tear up a little. My mother is turning 55 tomorrow; still as beautiful as ever, but I noticed wrinkles on her face that weren't there before, and she's been turning up the volume on the tele more lately. It seems just like yesterday she was my age, and yet here we are. Thank you for this.
Shadowyugi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:59:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just joined my saved
Cianezek0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:04 on November 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, i wanted to thank you and your grandpa. He almost made me cry thanks to you for sharing :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:15 on November 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha it's not my grandpa. It's a pretty common repost, I forgot who the OP was, but I believe one of the commentors below linked to the original thread.
Cianezek0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:36 on November 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! I was so moved by the story that i forgot it was a repost! Thnks anyways!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:55 on November 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome man.
[deleted] ยท 5215 points ยท Posted at 13:21:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:27:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tilted my phone to with the earth and hurt my brain
Seanrps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:18 on October 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried it with my monitor, I have to get another monitor
Seanrps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:04 on December 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this could be extended even more if the camera started off tilted, slowly went horizontal and kept going
liberonscien ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that is beautiful.
dadfrombrad ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:22:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Show this to flat earthers
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:21:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dadfrombrad ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 00:21:51 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What, do they think it spins like a fidget spinner
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
queertrek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:53 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the sun doesn't move around the earth
cugma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:55 on August 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what he said (ps I didn't downvote you it was like that when I got here)
queertrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:34 on August 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why people take downvoting so personally. I never even noticce it
Remdelacrem ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:54:16 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're retarded on multiple levels. Amazing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:43 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was my first thought as well. Maybe they think the Earth disc is flipping in space though, or the stardome is rotating around us rather than us within the stardome.
Dankmemes3000 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:40:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It us .
Soulren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:05 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yea dude.
LyreBirb ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 23:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not like. makes me feel like I'm about to fall.
PAYPAL_ME_UR_MONEY ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:03:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ARE about to fall.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:57:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PAYPAL_ME_UR_MONEY ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:03:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psh. SCREW GRAVITY.
NeotericLeaf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:42:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, gravitons, something small enough for your penis. You screw it, buddy, screw it for all you're worth!!!
marble-pig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, only if you are in orbit
IiteraIIy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:05:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck. This changes my perspective on everything.
the1truegamer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:07:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That is really cool. Not very often I'm that amazed by a photo but this one is awesome.
RocketCow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a photo
potatotrip_ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's DiGiorno
the1truegamer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:18:35 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, fuck off. I comment on an amazing piece of work and you bust my balls about what to call it? Eat a bag of dicks.
RocketCow ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:18:28 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for calling me jesus
Malumeze86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:23 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit!
It's a photo-jiffy-thing.
But it''s definitely not a DiGiorno pizza.
But this "whatever" it's called is really awesome.
Mind blowing, really.
the1truegamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:49 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Skippy brand jiffy DiGiorno photo album.
anonomotopoeia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:46:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This put into perspective how small we are in the universe. Amazing.
This is now in my saved comments!
FlowSoSlow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really cool and all but I wonder what the person in the tent was doing.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This literally took my breath away.
unfurL ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:23:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally ay?
lordover123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's pretty damn cool
Mr_Fitzgibbons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:21 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Over how much time?
Access_Denied316 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah wtf
bambixbambi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh god. i really shouldn't have looked at this. it triggered my vertigo. oh god.
stealthcircling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are the Milky Way.
GRIZZLY_GUY_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that shits scary
Uncreative_Color ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I wanna see this with better perspective I feel like the actual earth scenery is keeping me from wrapping my head around it
Arensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that is awesome.
F4cetious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's super cool. Do you happen to know where on earth this was filmed? I'm having trouble picturing the position based on the rotation.
Geometer_John ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:36 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess: Somewhere in Canada or Europe? Or, for that matter, South America. It's weird because it looks like there are two axes of rotation. But that could be somewhat explained by the fact that the earth is rotating away from that "fixed point" in space. Looking at a globe could help visualize.
jakobpinders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:46 on July 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It says crater lake national park, Oregon
adamhanly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wanna see someone aim to capture the rotation this way in an entire series of clips from both hemispheres and the poles.
GoBoomYay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:02 on July 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's fucking cool.
hunnafitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:25 on August 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So flat!
SamuelstackerUSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:50 on December 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OwO
postmoderncoyote ยท 664 points ยท Posted at 12:29:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cats in a nutshell: http://i.imgur.com/oK2qHjK.gifv
LoafsWords ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:36:21 on November 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it is now snuggle time. you do not have a say in the matter.
AssKicker1337 ยท 2985 points ยท Posted at 14:52:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Posted by u/rhoner about 6 years ago.
This is just the absolute best thing I've come across on reddit. (this and the rice kid)
Gonna copypasta it as it is :
Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.
He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.
No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.
So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...
But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.
In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
tl;dr: long rambling story about how the kindness of strangers, particularly folks from south of the border, forced me to be more helpful on the road and in life in general. I am sure it won't be as meaningful to anyone else but it was seriously the highlight of my 2010.
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 455 points ยท Posted at 02:25:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I got a paragraph in I knew which post this was. It makes me tear up a bit every time I read it.
Hopefully nothing bad has come of his willingness to stop and help others in need.
TopHatJones12 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:23:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First time that I read this and I am not ashamed to say that I started crying a little bit when it got to the "Today you... tomorrow me." I'm from the country but moved to a big city many years ago. After getting burned by a couple of sob stories, I stopped helping strangers. I just keep going and ignore them. This story hit me hard.
Jonny2k1 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:51:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well here I am, reading this for the first time, and tears are streaming down my face...in my office.
silverpony24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:30:53 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the rice kid?
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:27:10 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He tried damn near any food items that were suggested, and gave them a rating. It turns out most things are better with rice.
Link
The post that started it all.
silverpony24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:05 on September 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
glassisnotglass ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 14:55:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someday that little girl is going to be on Reddit and find this story. And then she'll be like, "Dad, hundreds of people stopped for strangers on the road because of you."
fuck--------buttons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:44 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they all died.
Tichy500 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 06:10:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hoy por ti, maรฑana por mรญ
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:44:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am just going to quietly point at the movie Pay it Forward (2000) which deals with this exact topic and is one of the most moving things I have seen lately
JustPlainGross ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:51:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot about that movie.....just added to list.
Thanks for the soon to be pleasant distraction!
mrpear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:41 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found the ending to be kind of unnecessary and a huge bummer
Kevintrades ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:19:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AGHHHHH ITS SO PERFECT
meghonsolozar ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:17:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you I'm crying
Thyrd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:04 on July 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say something about Onions, but this sums it up. Thanks for the reply u/rhoner and u/AssKicker1337
billatq ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:31:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could have sworn that I'd seen/read this somewhere and that it was copied from that.
Nope, adapted from that comment: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/06/magazine/06lives-t.html
evylllint ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:21:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. I have read this comment countless times and I will always upvote it. Its difficult to maintain faith in the human race with so much going on in the world...but this always reminds me that shit's not all bad all the time.
Sir_Flagrant ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:30:14 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vaguely similar situation happened to my brother and I. We are going car camping in the mountains in his POS, primer black painted, gaarbage Honda hatchback. My brother is driving. He goes up a hill that is very steep, in the middle of almost nowhere (no one but hunters and campers scarcely spread out for miles) and pops the clutch out. We are on the right side of the road on an embankment that has a good four-foot steep trop. He misjudges the sharpness of the corner and we back up, bottoming out and we are STUCK. like, stuck stuck. When getting out of the passenger side, I had to climb akin to a billy goat because we are that much teetering on this embankment. I wish I took pics. So, this is the beginning of a three-day trip, we are about 10 miles from camp still, and it is about 3 hours until dark. Fuck. We have no cell signal, and "town" is a 15 mile walk. Shit.
We are sitting for about an hour debating on taking our backpacks and walking back into "town" (it was like a gas station but had a payphone) when a big, beat up suburban drives slowly past us, and the people are hunters. All with rifles and sidearms, and none of them spoke a lick of English. There were 7 of these big, mountain-men dudes who were Mexicans. After us explaining the situation as best we could, and pointing to our situation, and about 2 minutes after meeting us, all 7 dudes hop out of their vehicle, walk over to the car that is stuck, all of them grab a part of the car and lift the whole damn car back onto the road for us. They saved our weekend. We offered cash, food, and anything that they might need, but they wouldn't accept anything and wished us a good trip. The trip was not the best (2 6-foot plus guys who didn't pack a tent because 'yea, we'll TOTALLY just sleep in the car' trying to sleep in the cold in a Honda Civic hatchback sucked) but those dudes were awesome.
beebish ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:35:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading this one, it was great then and great now.
Nox_Stripes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:11:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is a beautiful story
25fpsBob ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this made me teary eyed. thanks for saving it and sharing it
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:42:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for sharing this
Sowila ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:54:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so amazing and inspiring. Just knowing that there are still such selfless people in the world is heart warming and a little unbelievable to be honest. Lol. Thank you for sharing. Made my day.
Andalusian_Dawn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That....made me cry. Inspiring. I will do this too.
Sulauk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:00 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a very Canadian mind frame when it comes to roadside car trouble. Sometimes you've gotta turn people away cause they keep stopping but help is already on the way.
SanguineJackal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:14 on July 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie. I'm now crying like a little girl too.
str8outcompton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:51:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain what exactly "Today you, tomorrow me" means?
AssKicker1337 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:24:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/rhoner got help when he desperately needed it, food for his starvation and they didn't even accept his money, which they most likely were short on. IMO "Today you, Tomorrow me" means: Today it is me who helps you, out of kindness and compassion , and I won't expect anything in return, and someday(or tomorrow) someone will do the same thing for me.
Altruism at best, I think.
GetOutTheWayBanana ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:44:52 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always took it as "today you needed the help. Tomorrow I could need help, and when tomorrow comes, I'll want someone to help me, so that's why I help you today." Almost like "there but for the grace of God go I." No judgment on you and your situation, because tomorrow I too may need someone to help me.
yerog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:23:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today I helped you, tomorrow someone will help me. Similar idea to paying it forward, or karma.
bikermonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on July 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will be difficult for the family to pick cherries after the wall is built.
Namoor3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:38 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Care to link me the rice kid or?
Edit: NVM, Found it. Its the 14 year old kid right?
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:15 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They still have to go back.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:16 on August 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does this mean that today, a good deed would happen you and a good deed would happen to him tomorrow?
WordsMort47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:31 on December 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stunning
PerhapsLater_ ยท 5992 points ยท Posted at 19:28:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From "what's the laziest thing you've ever done?" courtesy of /u/TupperWolf
the_vermi ยท 538 points ยท Posted at 23:58:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I lost this one! Re-saved.
johnnyringo771 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 02:35:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will never not upvote the OPS-battleship copy pasta, or the SR-71 copy pasta for that matter.
Ironhide75 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:55:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SR-71 cp?
infecthead ยท 178 points ยท Posted at 03:56:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/SR71/comments/2dpmw7/the_sr71_speed_check_story/
Ironhide75 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:57:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome! Thanks
brdzgt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:39:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice! I remember reading the same thing translated to my native language on a car website a year or two ago... The editor must have loved the story too.
PerhapsLater_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!
Nessie_eats_everyone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:37 on August 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've finally fucking found it.
I'm home
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 06:35:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Frozen_Yoghurt1204 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:19 on August 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I really want to hear some stories from MiG-25 and MiG-31 pilots...
Dial-1-For-Spanglish ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:21:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O M G
Is it the 'heights' or the 'lows' I must aspire to attain this new definition of 'lazy'?
zenithBemusement ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:32:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me this one a year or two ago, apparently it's a common legend.
Jay12341235 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:12:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op is your dad
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:30:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On mine too. I share it religiously with those who can appreciate the genius. And humor.
I_HATE_MUSHROOMS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100% one of my favourite Reddit stories ever.
GrillMaster71 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was going to post this. Damn right this is amazing.
adamhanly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:39:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so good.
IiteraIIy ยท 1782 points ยท Posted at 17:22:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/571g2i/openly_racist_people_of_reddit_why_are_you_racist/d8oe1rq/
This was so heartwarming I had to save it so I could read it on my bad days. Here it is for those that don't want to open extra tabs:
"I grew out of it, but ill share my ex-racism.
I grew up in Wendover. The population was 85% Mexican, and they were all wannabe gangsters and fake-ass drug dealers. Teen pregnancy started at 14-15, and graduation rate from High School is around 35 out of 300. I'm a white, nerdy little shit, and was consistently getting bullied and beat up. I eventually grew to understand that Mexican meant asshole while living out there.
I finally moved away, and enrolled at a different school. I felt kinda weird no longer being a 'minority'. In school, I had a homeroom class and sat next to a Mexican kid (Juan-Carlos). I treated him like shit. I had mentioned to one of his friends my experiences in Wendover, and he told Carlos.
One day, Carlos was listening to.me treat him like shit, and he snapped. He got up, stood in front of my desk, slammed his fist down and breathed out slowly. Then he smiled at me.
"I understand your anger. If I met those assholes at your last school, I'd hate my culture too. Please remember that I am proud of my heritage, and if you hate us, you hate me, but I'll never hate you."
I was embarrassed. Being yelled at by somebody you've been talking shit about all the time...
I stood up, and got ready to sock him. I got used to getting in fights when somebody confronted me, I was ready to fight him. This motherfucker hugged me when I stood up. He fucking hugged me.
Weird as fuck, but I've never forgotten it. Ever since, we've been friends. Eventually he moved, and I moved again. Juan-Carlos Lopez, I don't know if you are a Redditor, but its because of you that I finally learned to not be a cunt when cunted to :P" --/u/CyanogenHacker
bk1a ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 17:34:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really is heartwarming!
All_Hail_Krull ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 04:03:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you believe it.
NedryOS ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 04:50:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, the internet generation needs its fables and heartwarming tales too. Don't go shitting on our culture.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 06:48:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing is real. Everything is an illusion. There is only death.
zoomer296 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:52:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Buy gold, bye!"
AnfrageUndNachgebot ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:05:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I really hope Juan Carlos got in touch with him later.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:43:48 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're telling me is you're willing to ignore a mountain of data in favor of a single data point.
IiteraIIy ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 11:39:19 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point of the story is that the mountain of data does not mean all of the data is equal to that mountain
DreadPirate616 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:40:07 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point of the story is that people are people, not data. If a bunch of bad people happen to be part of the same culture, it isn't because the culture is bad. They are just bad people. Culture is not personality.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 00:56:09 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People behave like data. Groups of people follow patterns. And you're right, it's not because the culture is bad. It's because their genetics are bad.
RoachKabob ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:18:11 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you consider everyone you have ever met in person, that will never amount to a statistically significant sample of all the people out there.
You are a very small speck in a sea of humanity.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 04:20:55 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't change the fact that statistically, African-Americans have an average IQ 15 points below that of whites, and commit substantially more crime.
This two-month-old comment is getting lots of attention, for some reason. Really makes me think.
Luhood ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:18:25 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you took half of a statistics class. The point you're missing is the rather important why. Why do black people on average have a lower IQ (if they do, that is)? Even if they do, so what? Is IQ really the only significant measurement of intelligence?
It's not about what the numbers say, but what the numbers actually say.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:46:17 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't bother - he's an actual Nazi, they ain't so smart.
BVDansMaRealite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:04 on November 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0 to nazi in 3.5
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:56 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They say that black people are, on average, more stupid than almost every other race. Occam's Razor is in full effect here.
Luhood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:03 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me just fucking stop you right there. A lot of arguments I can tolerate, but Occam's fucking Razor - the Universal Law of Sloth and Can't-be-Arsed - is something I can't tolerate. "Why make it needlessly complicated?" is only applicable under the same limit as any other argument: Can you prove the validity beyond any reasonable doubt?
For instance, poverty and other Social Class-based issues has a much better chance of being the culprit here. The fact that low-paying jobs where black people are much more common doesn't necessarily nurture the same types of intelligences as high-paying jobs? Something as simple as poor diets, stress related to dangerous neighbourhoods, and poor sleep due to stress and being overworked?
If you actually want to be taken any sort of serious in a scientific sense the last thing you should do is invoke Occam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:50 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Luhood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:52 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're still ignoring the why. Why does a black child benefit less? Things like being a black outsider in a "white world" surely account for something, no? It takes more than one study to prove something, specially something that is so understudied and yet has so many causes and reasons as intelligence.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:03:24 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The why was presented at the beginning. Africans are genetically less intellectually capable than almost any other race. Barring the various pygmy races, the only race I can think of that is even less capable is the Australian Aborigines, a subgroup of which, the Tasmanian Aborigines, was so stupid they literally forgot how to make fire.
Evolution doesn't stop at the neck, you know.
Edit: the fire thing has recently come into question, based on new research, but the Aborigines are still pretty fucking stupid.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:25 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, you're assuming there is only one study, for some reason. There is, in fact, a bounty of studies attesting to African academic inferiority (try saying that five times fast) no matter the conditions. Despite everything that has been tried, the black-white academic gap still persists.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:26 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In addition to IQ levels, we can also examine SAT scores. This data indicates that the average SAT score for a white child from a family that makes less than $10,000 a year are approximately equal to those of a black child from a family that makes more than $70,000 a year. They score slightly below in English, but slightly above in Math, both being within the margin of error.
Now, if an impossibly impoverished white child does just as well as an upper-class black child, with a significant margin appearing between white and black children of equal income levels, that would indicate that social class does not account for the gap, right?
Luhood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:58 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm not American so I really have no idea what those SATs are about, as I've never done one. Though on the other hand just about everything I have ever read about them (albeit on Reddit, so take that however you wish) implies that if there's anything that is a worse indicator of intelligence than IQ it is SAT scores.
But like I said, everything I have on the subject is from second hand anecdotes on Reddit.
SynesthesiaBrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:53 on September 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
antares07923 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:26:44 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His experience wasn't a mountain of data. There's a lot more to Mexican culture and people than a bunch of cunty 14 year olds.
Diddu_Sumfin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like cartels and savage beheading rituals?
chairman-me0w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good post. For those interested here is a similar account from WaPo link
mysterin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:56 on October 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'M NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING, MAN...
phooka ยท 2925 points ยท Posted at 14:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The racist field trip.
exitzero ยท 369 points ยท Posted at 14:10:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've probably watched this 10 times and I laugh every time.
InVultusSolis ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 19:37:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logical explanation:
Every school in the area goes to this field trip. This guy happened to be in a predominately black school so all of his classmates were black.
Kids like to sing, so they naturally were singing while enjoying their day outside, away from school.
They probably have several field trips come through in the course of a week, during which the kids pick hundreds of dollars worth of cotton, so they make them turn it in (farming is already a pretty low-profit venture).
All of that being said, and even assuming 100% good faith and that the logical explanation holds, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to bring a class of black children on a field trip picking cotton?
CleganeBowlThrowaway ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:35:44 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or any children where they don't get paid!!! This wasn't weeding a garden at a food kitchen for community service.
If schools go on a berry-picking field trip you sure as fuck know they get to keep the berries.
andrew_D1317 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:00 on December 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
new fav saved
milkradio ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 21:34:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD YES this always fucking makes me laugh until I can't breathe. This guy has great storytelling skills. "We were singing songs and shit!"
spamjam09 ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 03:50:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Born and raised in Alabama. Absolutely went to a cotton field for an elementary school field trip in the early 90's.
badmuther ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:02:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep - same (from Montgomery actually). It's funny the way he tells it, but it was actually a fun trip.
spamjam09 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 10:26:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we had fun and there was some actual historical significance to it. He does tell it funny though.
NearHadesEdge ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:24:24 on August 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you singing songs?
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 06:31:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dude would kill it as a stand up comedian.
candyman337 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:01:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classic
senanabs ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:46:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we was singing songs and shit...
Capissen38 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:36:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh god I haven't seen this in forever. i am dying.
Zarlem ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:59:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's an archive just in case. WOW I'm dying!
Ahjeofel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking crying help
Batmanisoverrated ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:10:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best youtube video ever
Riskrunner ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:34:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone please explain this one to me? It's funny but not hysterically funny. Everyone seems to find it hilarious.
JonathanFranzen1 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 06:53:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just found it hilarious how every element of the field trip somehow perfectly corresponded to actual slavery in the U.S., right down to the work songs, and somehow everyone involved thought it was A-ok. The guy telling the story is also just naturally funny.
konaya ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:21:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my eyes, all of it was all right until they had to turn the cotton in. Then it stopped being a fun time out and started being child labour.
MegaSonicGeo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:03:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity where are you from? Maybe that has an effect?
Riskrunner ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:20:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New Zealand. I think that i get the slavery references. But not 100% sure i got everything right.
setmehigh ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:27:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slaves were used to pick cotton, and would sing slave songs while they worked.
Then he thought they were keeping the cotton, but the plant took it. So basically they were slaves for a day.
InVultusSolis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:24:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see why someone who is from Not-America wouldn't really get this. It's the tone of his voice, how he's telling the story, the events of the story, the language he's using. Every bit of it is hilarious.
F_A_F ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I remember this the first time round and the original got deleted. The poor guy telling the tale couldn't cope with being an Internet sensation.
Having been near the centre of a media whirlpool I kinda agree with him.
gartho009 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:29:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god this is the funniest thing I've seen here
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin yes, thank you
Dlh2079 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is legitimately my favorite thing on the internet
Vader2712 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:01 on July 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was really hilarious, thanks for making me laugh.
Pixie0422 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:31 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How have I never seen this before???? Pure fucking hilarity.
acebenman1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought I would hear about Ramar on Reddit.
Nintee ยท 3398 points ยท Posted at 14:21:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birth of a Veterinarian
janiekh ยท 491 points ยท Posted at 02:04:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's great to see someone be so interested in something
seropus ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 06:30:17 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the coolest thing is watching somebody do something they are good at, when they don't think/know anyone is watching them.
Phazon2000 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:41:11 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He knew.
easierthistime ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 23:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw this before. I love it so much!
Deviknyte ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:43:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope this kid became a zoo keeper or the like.
AlmostAnal ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:30:33 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though, don't ever think you don't have a chance in that field. My highschool sweetheart had a younger sister that dated a younger brother of the girl I'd fooled around with when I was sixteen and drunk and never told her about. The only people that knew knew were me, the girl (I'll call her gwiniffer) and her younger brother who'd heard some evidence he corroborated upon visual contact.
I was sixteen and he was thirteen, and we agreed to keep it a secret, because I'd hook him up with cool shit and his older sister might literally kill him before dying of embarrassment. He agreed and even gave a smile that I thought was him being shitty, but he swore was just because he thought it was interesting.
We hung out a little as we got older but it was mostly me getting him things like a phone number or a bag. He ended up dating my hs sweetheart's younger sibling. That was never awkward but when I pressed him casually he promised not to say shit and I made him promise not do any stupid shit like I'd done. He was smart but awkward. Eager to please but a bit milquetoast as a result. Eventually they broke up and I had a couple drinks with him and found out part of the breakup was because he had really wanted a pet snake, and she didn't. I was the only person he'd told the real reason to. Why break up over a snake? And it wasn't like it was the straw that broke the camel's back, it was one of those things where shed made an ultimatum, he stood his ground, and then it spiraled downward about how he was never going anywhere and snakes just proved what a loser he was. I told him that if he was the best damn snakes person that someone somewhere would pay him big bucks to handle the snakes.
Seven years pass. I'm taking a group of students on a tour of my hometown's little science museum/zoo situation. The south doesn't care too much for endowing those things so any museum becomes a zoo pretty quickly. It's like the one physics nerd and the one bio nerd compromise to get an endowment passed. So I'm with these dumb tweens that are miserable because they don't have their phones. We go to the auditorium for a local creature exhibition, reptiles and bugs. And of course there is Gwinnifer's little brother, showing off the snakes and lizards and large insects. And he is having a blast, totally in his element. A great confident showman that makes the kids want to touch the animals but know that they can only do so in the exact way he tells them to, or else. And he sees me and smiles that smile.
I get two words with him after the show and we meet up later. Of course my students thought he was the coolest motherfucker on the planet and I was just a little bit cooler for being in his warm, glowing, warming glow.
And he is still basically himself. And we talk about how everything seems to be not just okay but actually good somehow despite returning to the hometown. And I ask him how he got the gig. He said that after I told him just to be a snake man if he wanted he spent a few hours drunk and online. Turns out you can actually make coin if you commit to all the good and bad of being a herpetologist. He started at the bottom and worked his way up quickly because he decided on something he wanted. He has a good job in the public sector and does occasional side work when an entertainer's ball python isn't being itself.
And he thanked me for eating out his sister, even though she didn't enjoy it. That that was the reason we are who we are. I didn't have the heart to say that she was on her period.
BrooksConrad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:48:54 on August 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm trawling through the larger thread this comment is a part of and I'd like to thank you for sharing this story. It's great to see someone's passion being rewarded. I hope you're doing well too!
isa01000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:37 on September 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, what?
AlmostAnal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:21 on September 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was super embarrassing for her and I knew how to eat puss about as well as I could juggle.
I get two balls up and drop both.
Tolkien5045 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:58:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's beautiful
Guckalienblue ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:07:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was cute as heck.
ALotofThought ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:29:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best day of school EVER!
hellafyno ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 00:35:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little wholesome, really
ummmnoway ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 00:51:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see this I bust up laughing and immediately picture this
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:29:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved this. Thank you for sharing. It made me smile :)
2u3e9v ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:34:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So pure
Djibrail ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:46:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can they all just sit there with their smartphones out? We weren't allowed to do that in germany :(
M3gaMudkipz ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:37:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone is baked as fuck
PotatoesAndAvocados ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:28:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My exact thoughts lmao
10midgits ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:34:41 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can i just point out that girl in the background on her phone when there is a massive fucking snake not 10 feet from her
doremifasodone ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:23:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this video once or twice and totally forgot about it. The ending had me shaking with laughter (so much that I woke up my partner. Whoops.)
Jawadd12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:31:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the size of this GIF? It took me forever to load it.
Edit: I'm honestly asking
Stooby2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:00:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a chef.
ilya17isbest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaan saved.
rollingh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on July 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone know what the first animal was? Some king of duck maybe? Saw loads in Portugal on holiday and would love to find out!
Nintee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:07 on July 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fairly sure its a Muscovy Duck
PM_ME_BOOB_PICTURES_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:59 on August 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, you just reminded me to get high! :D
Nintee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:24 on August 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mann, you make me sad, been dankrupt for months now :*(
ForeskinPrideFakeTit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:59 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i dunno. it started out pretty good but it always feels so contrived to me when someone keeps his mouth open like that.
Hissyfitkitty1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain. I don't get it
Jebus_Jones ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:46:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's fascinated by the animals, he's gonna be a vet so he can be around fascinating animals all the time.
It's cute.
FrostByte62 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:21:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or terrified of sneks?
SPACEMANSKRILLA ยท -37 points ยท Posted at 05:49:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, he's black.
Ohlo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:39:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No way, really?
ungoliaant ยท 1319 points ยท Posted at 14:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the english bulldog waving. makes me so happy
http://i.imgur.com/qwcY11n.gifv
AalphaQ ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 23:04:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yeah. The biker to biker salute. The coolest thing is, the dog starts to do it before his human.
boognish_is_rising ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:09:07 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to think that there was a dog in the sidecar of a passing bike, waving back.
Peuned ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the dog actually waves first!
who taught who to be more friendly?
8evolutions ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:14:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awww
scotty3281 ยท 4953 points ยท Posted at 13:35:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most motivating post on Reddit
The dude got 74 golds for this post.
CircleDog ยท 975 points ยท Posted at 21:02:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Canadians. The gift to the world that just keeps giving.
potatotrip_ ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 08:00:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness Canadians are really nice people.
Frog_Flint ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:58:32 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. We try really hard to help and be supportive of each other at all times. Nothing is impossible!
MIGHTY_BUSH_OVERLORD ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 09:42:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sees gilded comments
tries to be funny for gold
failssucceeds?ZedNub ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 17:25:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you failed. You didnt get gold.
daten-shi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:12:02 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
MIGHTY_BUSH_OVERLORD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:44:40 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
congratulations on gold....
ZedNub ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:30:32 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn
MIGHTY_BUSH_OVERLORD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:55 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
c:
Alconasier ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's still hope
MIGHTY_BUSH_OVERLORD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:44:29 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
never lose hope
ZedNub ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:21 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theres no more hope, posts 2 days old
TurtleSea3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:41 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 month later...
Dylan8932 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:36 on July 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but I did fail because im late as all hell
10outa10woodrapeagan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:26 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
N-neither dd-did I.
OwnagePwnage123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:48 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither will I
ZedNub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:50 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got gold
aint_that_a_bitch_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:10 on November 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to make fun of Canadians.
Then I realized how fucking BAD ASS they are.
Now I don't make fun of Canadians anymore.
TuggyMcPhearson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:18 on November 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
User name checks out. (I'm sorry)
MaximLucille ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 21:03:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. If I had gold to give, I would give it, but thank you. I didn't know how much I needed this in my life until I got done reading it. You are a good person for sharing it.
Thank you for sharing this piece of your life into mine.
EDIT: Now I have gold and I can't give it to him... I'm a broke ass and can't buy him some... Sad day. Thank you kind and gentle stranger. You are also a good person.
scotty3281 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:10:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am just sharing stuff I found on Reddit. I take no credit for writing the comment or the question. The guy that wrote it got 74 months of gold for it so he still has a few years left from just that comment alone, not counting if he got gold from any other comment since then.
MaximLucille ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 21:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. But you found it important/interesting/inspirational enough to share it with all of us, and I happened to find it in the deep comments here. Because of that, I now have it. And yes, I saved that shit. Thank you again.
scotty3281 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:44:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you are welcome. I did go back and reread this again myself because I hadn't read it in a while. It still hits me just like it did the first time I read it.
RickMortySummer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:38:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, without you the odds of finding this for relatively new redditors would have been slim. It's the first post I've ever saved aside from Factorio blueprints. Thanks Scotty.
jeffxt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:35:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have no idea how much I need a post like that right about now. I read the first sentence and hit save.
Amazing, thanks so much for sharing
PM-ME_UR_FEET_LADIES ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:23:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't even know what reddit gold acutally is.
Johnny5iver ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If another Redditor finds what you said awesome, they can buy gold (with real money), to award your post or comment. Each gold you receive lasts for a month, and they add up, you also get access to r/lounge for the amount of time that your earned gold months last.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:03:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MimosasMadeMeDoIt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:14:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was curious how he's doing as well.
reammachine ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:02:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he's complaining about iOS 11's Notification Center
lord_chihuahua ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting for update
GoodOlSpence ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:23:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time Arnold chimed in to help motivate someone.
scotty3281 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. I'm not sure how I would respond if Arnie responded to a post of mine. This might be more motivating than the post I linked.
CeaRhan ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:54:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3 years later the dude can afford several Apple products and not mind it at all, that means he's doing a lot better than before :D
scotty3281 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:56:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really believe this post was a major reason for his turnaround. I know it is always helpful to me when I read it.
reammachine ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:05:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/ryan01
You're about to get some more karma for your motivating post.
reammachine ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:07:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opps, I meant u/ryans01
You're about to get some more karma for your motivating post.
ryans01 ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 03:20:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Glad it's helping people :)
TheBalmyScholar ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:20:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Ryan, just read your post for the first time. Absolutely awesome. Thanks so much for taking the time to write it out. It's amazing how, three years later that post is still helping people! You are the coolest :)
ryans01 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:49:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love! Keep it up and keep in touch!
BarberanF ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on August 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit Ryan, you're a pretty cool motherfucker huh
MechanicalTurkish ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:38:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That whole "non-zero day" thing really seems like the key to unlocking the universe. I'm gonna try to incorporate this concept into my life. I've had a lot of zero days. Hopefully I will have no more. Thank you, man. I saved your post to read again later. I should probably save it as a txt file or print it out or something in case reddit goes away.
edit: copied it into a Google document. We're saving money already!
ryans01 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:49:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! Saving money is hottt!
Sarkal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a wonderful person. Thank you so much
kimonogurls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:02:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Ryan, you're the best! There's some mistake I've made in my academic life (not too different from Max' problem) and I couldn't forgive and forget myself for that, but now I think I could maybe start to come to terms with myself. I'll be sure to think of your advice when I start studying in a couple of years. Thanks!
ryans01 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:50:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can always redeem yourself!
lexicalowl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:55:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for writing this post. Absolutely needed to see it today.
ryans01 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:44 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ryans01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:53 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love, good luck
ifuckinghatecorridor ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank's, i really needed that read again.
If this indeed change my life, I'm gonna send a present somehow.
Ask me in a year. I mean it.
TheMightyMeercat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remind Me! 1 year
TheMightyMeercat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remind Me! 1 year
TheMightyMeercat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remind Me! 1 year
KrisIsLame ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:40:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might've just saved my life. Thank you to You, OP, and Ryan.
robbedigital ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:28:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
Randomawesomeguy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:12:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too long, didn't have the motivation to read
FlowSoSlow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That shit just convinced me to not have another beer tonight.
eulalia-vox ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:44:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck that's incredible. I needed to read that. Thank you for sharing it.
revolsami ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:49:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So reddit is basically a text version of TED.
L248XT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I are having a conversation and she's been doubting herself for a while now. You may have just saved her. Thank you. Seriously, thank you for linking that.
PinheadLarry_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit 74 golds. I read that several times and I'm astounded by this guy. What a helpful person, I will definitely do my best to use some of his advice is my own life. Thanks for posting this!
therealflinchy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:08:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#1 is definitely the hardest
Wasn't until the start of last year that I began to be motivated enough to reduce my "zero days"
And it's only the last month I've managed to get them down to none whatsoever. I work hard every day now, and as long as I keep it up I don't feel too wrecked lol
Gunnarag ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that was a good read! No more zero days!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:57:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starting tomorrow
Gunnarag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol indeed
TRNogger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That should become a subreddit...
mountaingoat05 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:13:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was brilliant advice. Thank you for sharing Ryan's advice here.
twentyhands ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:03:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came expecting lots of porn, left with some serious life lessons. Thanks for sharing.
mrtonypjs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I would have never read this
Destroyer_SkyTDM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Shiz
BielayaSmert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Saved aswell now
teelouise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this was one of my first saves. So great!
DeepFreezeDisease ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think about this post every now and then, rehashing it is pretty motivating
baltimore94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this post! I go back to read it every once in a while.
facu_biaggio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy damn, thanks dude, this need to be shared more. Legit changed a couple or more prepectives i had on things
BookEight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he used the word "homeslice" and it's written by Poochie
heymymilk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that was pretty damn amazing. Saved as well!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I needed that. Thanks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now my phone wallpaper is no more zero days.
DrC8H10N4O2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Scotty. I haven't seen that before and It IS AWESOME!
cantthinkofone1234 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just saved this post for myself :) thanks for sharing!
purplelie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for sharing that
Andykbrown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it. I saved it. I put the wallpaper on that dudes post onto the front screen of my phone, I sent it to 5 friends, did ten push ups, and now I'm off to work. Thank you for that.
k1ckable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit made me cry real tears
PM_ME_DARK_MATTER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:46 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL....Its so good, you get gold for reposting. Fuckin epic
red_quinn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was an amazing read, i needed that. On a side note, whats the Gold for?
SleepyMage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bah, damn inspirational pieces. I bookmarked it, but I'm not happy about it.
jdmoore04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read it, remembered it, saved the photos, left anyway. Went back to save it, realized I'd already saved it the first time.
Fuck
NicoleIsMyUncle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I have ever read.
ilo274 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if you have no dreams at all or nothing to look forward to
nuclearslurpee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was incredible. Thanks man, saved.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks you so much for sharing this. That's amazing advice.
joooh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read and saved, thanks past me!
GFY_EH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome. Been on Reddit a while and hadn't run into that yet. Thanks for sharing it!
scotty3281 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are some great things on Reddit. Some things you just have to dig to find though. r/bestof is a great sub with user-submitted posts. /r/MuseumOfReddit is around but not sure how often it is updated. There are a lot of great posts from Reddit's history on that sub.
GFY_EH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on best of, but not Museum. I've seen some awesome stuff to, and I thought I saw most of it.
(and a lot of stuff I wished I hadn't, HAHA)
scotty3281 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yea, me too. You have to read the drunk AMA from the Museum. One of the funniest things you will read today.
GFY_EH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:41 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck me that was funny. If anyone else wants a good laugh here is the link. https://www.reddit.com/r/drunk/comments/2gjf7u/im_drunk_ama/
OP is from my province up here in Canada.
GFY_EH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll put it on the procrastination to-do list. Thanks.
Benivav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think shaya leboufe copied him
NowKissPlease ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:57 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'd been meaning to buy 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' for a while and after reading that I immediately ordered it. What an inspiring post. I really needed to read that.
scotty3281 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:14 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The book is really, really good. I've read it but suck at actually doing the things in it.
You are welcome. Glad to see others have been helped as much as much as I have.
Swampfoxx89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:48 on July 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks to you and the guy who posted and even the one who went on a rant. Been in a rut for months even though I have the best job I ever have had. Haven't been putting nearly enough into anything and I've been in a cycle of depression. Thanks for posting this. Extremely helpful!
humanysta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:12 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what a bunch of bullshit
DragonArmour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:32 on November 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
86 gold now
FlatEight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing man.
e126 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. This might be a major turning point in my life.
WeinerboyMacghee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:01:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
H8rade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting this. It's the first thing I thought of, but with 10k responses to this thread, what's the point of me posting? I'm so glad to see it as the second highest comment! It's truly life-changing stuff.
broganisms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really needed to read that today. Thank you.
dedservice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much appreciated. Surprised I hadn't seen that before, but right now I needed that.
Jcbarona23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
SWEATLIVES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing thing to read at the start of what is going to be a very busy day. Can't wait to get some work done!
IiteraIIy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you got gold just for reposting it.
apennington221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:14 on August 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read all of that in Ryan Reynolds voice
Milo359 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:55:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wall of text warning?
scotty3281 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:57:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 01:01:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i remember seeing this a while back. it's pretty worthless at face value. so you don't wanna have a zero day? do one push up. next day? do one push up. this will do nothing for you. the gist of it is nice, but you really have to push yourself past settling for a "one" day over a "zero" day.
quotesFRIENDS ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:07:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something is not equal to nothing. It's about changing your mindset.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
depends what that something is. doing one push up per day would be just as good as not doing any. that's not how muscle growth works. in that case, something is equal to nothing.
abstractwhiz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physically true, but psychologically the important thing is overcoming the resistance to doing anything at all. Thinking in terms of effectiveness won't help you if you can't summon up that basic motivation. Fortunately, getting in the habit of always doing something, even if it isn't effective, will break that resistance. And then you can move on to doing the effective thing.
If you try to go straight to the effective thing, your motivation will die on you and you'll be left high and dry, not to mention demotivated by your failure. Blindly trying to do the effective thing will be ineffective. You need to solve the underlying problem first.
If you are already a motivated and disciplined person, this advice is not aimed at you. I've said on numerous occasions that advice is mostly useless because it only works for people sufficiently similar to the advice giver, and human minds vary a great deal. That said, this particular piece of advice was aimed at exactly the right kind of person, which is why it got so much acclaim.
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ill agree to your counterpoint. well said.
abstractwhiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:54 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. :)
Who says we can't have civil discussions on the internet? :P
SkullShapedCeiling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:38 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm usually not very civil, but i will admit when i'm wrong.
quotesFRIENDS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:25:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The purpose of that post was to motivate someone to begin to turn their life around. The point of a no zero day is that sometimes the hardest part is starting. If you do one pushup, you're likely to do more than that. But if you tell yourself you only have to do one, then anything else is you exceeding those expectations which feels good. It's possible that you've never had feelings of depression or self loathing holding you down. Count yourself lucky. Then listen to others and seek to understand rather than dismiss.
amgoingtohell ยท 4535 points ยท Posted at 15:03:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to get classy
Good evening ladies and gentlemen
Thanks u/hazysummersky for bringing this thread to my attention with this post. The original is now 7 years old and the endlessyoutube links no longer work but "it is still one of the most magical on Reddit".
Velt_osu ยท 904 points ยท Posted at 23:13:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mashed this all together and put it into one video. Make sure to right click and click loop if you want to have it keep repeating at the end.
Get a drink, sit back, relax and enjoy.
OutsideBones86 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 23:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This mobile redditor thanks you!
Spontaneity8 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:34:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this would've been cooler with the fireplace as the video. JS I think that's what it was meant to be
Velt_osu ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:56:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree completely, and I highly regret not putting the fireplace. I made this in about 10 minutes and wasn't really thinking much. I need to be more mindful in the future :(
ViolentCheese ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:09:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chill dude, he didn't hit you.
TrulyVerum ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:35:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And years ago I made an mp3 version combining the song on loop and the rain (no fire though), lasting 35 minutes.
Velt_osu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ohh nice, this would be great for people who can take it with them to a place without internet.
Alexander_TheAmateur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible to download this on my phone? The button in the website doesn't seem to work.
TrulyVerum ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:12:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gotchu fam. Try a Dropbox link
Alexander_TheAmateur ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:56:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a god amongst men.
Alexander_TheAmateur ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:59:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are now my favourite person. I've saved this for when I'm feeling like I need a break.
Cpt-hose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're great. This is awesome
MrWoods96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, 10/10
whydoyouaskmethat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing, more please!
milenpatel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how do you mash up 2 videos into one? For examples, if I wanted both of these videos mashed into one youtube link (so i can download it as an mp3 later) could you be able to do that for me?https://viewsync.net/watch?v=aDfZ6STAfqA&t=0&v=DLuu_rjT93w&t=0
ThricexIMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:53 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't add the fireplace though, slacker :P
TheTacosaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:12 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a Spotify-esque playlist like this?
Tirestoressmellfunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on October 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much! I'm pretty sure this is going to cure my SAD this winter.
Arklayin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:58 on October 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โยฐยฐยฎ
BrutalJones ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 18:15:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am now chillin
Ollehbg ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:08:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to listen to "The fragrance of dark coffee" for hours while playing Civ V. So smooth and relaxing.
Sunndance ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:30:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I feel like I'm some part of a detective noir film
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:49:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for Godot.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:43:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
papa_bear_uk ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 21:29:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. This bread is giving me so much.
Edit: bread = thread.
I need to proof my comments.
DragonBank ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:09:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You want to prove your comments? No need. This is the internet after all. Either someone believes everything or /r/thathappened. Either way proving your comment is in no way necessary.
P.S. You should really proofread your comments.
Bubski0739 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:28:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proofbread.
FTFY
your_inner_monologue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It worked really well as bread. Sort of biblical.
KanchiHaruhara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:57 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For similar stuff, I recommend this channel.
For context, Touhou is an extremely popular videogame series in Japan, that resulted in tons of fan content such as music like this.
Jantra ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot all about The Fragrance of Dark Coffee.. oh man. I love this. Thanks!
carltonl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:35:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just feels good for the soul
HeatBlaze01 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:42:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a simple man. I see Godot, I upvote. I am now chill enough to freeze water.
p0537 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:24:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were fire, he wouldn't see you though.
:(
Godot_12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I could really go for a seventeenth cup of coffee right now.
Laidback36 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:05:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer A Soft Murmur which will loop for as long as you want and gives you a mixer of alternate sounds (I add thunder) but the addition of the jazz really does make it fantastic.
foobar5678 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:39:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just go to http://timetogetclassy.com
Adamking241 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:59:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man this feeling . I cant describe it . This is magnificent. I literally got goose bumps. What did you do to me ?
EricTheAckAcktor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frisson
Nomadicburrito ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On youtube, you should be able to right click on the video and select loop.
kyletells ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
raybaroune ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:33:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aaaaaaaaaand saved
Godot_12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:18:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
Bizarrmenian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why does this fucking work so well togethher???
saved
LuckyJoeCamelToe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:28:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, this is good!
eslahp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok that is cool and I am now relaxing after all this stress. Thanks
acEightyThrees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this whole thread, but this is the only individual response I'm also saving. This is outstanding.
theflyingjew4812 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chill
tobaknowsss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing missing from that list is a good book to go along with it all. Otherwise it's perfection!
mouldy_fingers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I forgot about this combo. Found this years ago on 4chan
joaquinrasta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear: Gadot stuck in fireplace.
utan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O wow, I haven't heard this in awhile. I actually the 3 combined into one mp3 if anyone is interested. I grabbed it from a facepunch thread a long time ago.
melonlollicholypop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:26:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you gave me a gift! I liked it so much I left it on and came back the comments. Only realized how relaxed I'd become when the jazz track ended, so I switched over to the one hour Godot, and now I'm getting off Reddit to read a book.
Stewie2395 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm that was absolutely delicious.
wredditcrew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:43 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or for mah Zelda fans: Second tab - Song of Storms (Cello ensemble - Cam Wilkinson)
TheBlackNight456 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on July 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
found this while browseing r/askreddit all time top.... i love you
PUSClFER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The additional music coming from the fireplace video kind of ruins the atmosphere.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just wanna say thank you for showing me the Rainymood. Com thing. Ima sleep so goooooooood
oldrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but, fuckin' amazing!
TheCrabRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking incredible.
circlecoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wowie
sexualcatperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. The perfect remedy for the start of a migraine!
MOONSfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to set a reminder and save this post.
applejacks16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mynoise.net
GOB_Bluth_is_Bae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice. I need to save this.
huntergorh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez, never thought I'd hear this again. Almost 10 years since it got put up.
dnp1094 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classy
superdooperuberpoopr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
AngryGoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, I remember this from over 5 years ago and forgot about it. Thanks!
BrandOfTheExalt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I in heaven right now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
mausertm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add all of them in a folder in bookmarks, and click the wheel button of your mouse, itll open all three links for you
About the drink, beats me
chabone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to look for this not too long ago and couldn't find it. Thank you!
Lamalover41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely brilliant man, this is awesome
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes. An old classic. :)
Improvis2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I love you...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone like noise which blocks out other sounds and helps you concentrate try mynoise.net
Shlecko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. This brings back memories...I used to rock this and a couple other tunes on endlessyoutube.
Study-time bliss.
Art-Is-Change ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah, a classic
bgog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats chill as fuck
hitlers_stache_ama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
need to check this out after work!
coderanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, classyfireplace lives on. One of the few decent things to come out of Hacker Dojo.
coughrop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like home.
Thank you, friend.
Smitteys867 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:29 on July 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love you
Hyperactivity786 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:33:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn
dj_destroyer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao this is perfect
Hiei2k7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am burning scrap wood outside with a light rain.
2nd tab ftw
TheNarwhaaaaal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before this was a reddit post it was also a not so popular recurring thread topic on 4chan's \b board
Enovara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can combine the first and third tabs, and really, if you wanted to, you could go over to ambient-mixer and make your own.
EternalHorizon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was not what I was expecting but still pleasantly pleased.
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those first two tabs are from historical times. Ancient internet proverbs of euphoria.
Odin_Dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a nice thing
Max10100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After discovering your post, I can now die happily.
Letterman0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should try the Rainy Mood together with Wonderwall-Oasis.
ClanStrachan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:46 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the YouTube links in this thread take me to monkeys and code...
KanchiHaruhara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:27 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For similar stuff, I recommend this channel.
For context, Touhou is an extremely popular videogame series in Japan, that resulted in tons of fan content such as music like this.
Nerdburton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have YouTube Red, open one of the videos in a private window. Otherwise YouTube will force you to pause one of the videos.
PM_ME_YOUR_LINGERE7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Replying to save this for later.
professorfox ยท 15269 points ยท Posted at 10:48:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have saved this post so that if by some stroke of fate I do wind up winning the lottery, I know what to do with myself
be_nice_to__me_plz ยท 3844 points ยท Posted at 12:31:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man that's crazy. I never imagined winning the lottery was like that.
NINJAM7 ยท 4633 points ยท Posted at 16:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor won 18 million. He was older, and his wife had died years previously. He was a very low key millionaire. He lived in a modest, unkempt house. The only thing I saw him buy was a new truck. He was lonely, and married a waitress at his favorite diner. Soon after she filed for divorce to get half of his money. He was tied up in courts for years. I moved not long after, so am not sure what the outcome was. I felt bad for the guy.
[deleted] ยท 968 points ยท Posted at 16:45:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not familiar with US laws, but how would a pre-nup work in this case? Could he have protected most of his assets?
NINJAM7 ยท 1323 points ยท Posted at 16:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably. He was older, and naive. He was lonely and thought she loved him. I'm not sure if the courts sided with him or not. Either way, it sucks to have someone you love divorce you for your money, and tie you up in court so you can't enjoy the money/time you have left.
someguywhocanfly ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 21:01:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still can't believe how shitty the divorce laws are that you can marry and divorce in a short time and be entitled to any money at all, let alone half of it. Who's fucking idea was that?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:44:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why marriage is a big decision and you don't do it with someone you can't trust. And always always have a prenup if you have sizable assets.
someguywhocanfly ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 21:51:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, given the way it works that's how you should act, but that doesn't mean it's not a dumb as fuck system. Why would marriage entitle someone to half of your wealth? It doesn't make any sense. The only argument I've ever heard is "they get used to a certain lifestyle" which is total bullshit.
Also, from what I've heard sometimes prenups can still be overruled in certain situations, so it's not even totally foolproof.
Captain_Nipples ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:43:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The certain lifestyle thing kills me.. Bitch, you're the one that's making yourself poor by doing what you're doing, and I'm the reason you have any money anyways.. It's like if I went into work tomorrow, drunk as fuck, and decided to tell everyone to fuck themselves and I'm done with their shit. Oh, and I want half my pay forever... (I actually love my job)
But, it'd be my fault for losing my money and shit for the next few years because my company is good to me and I just fucked them over... I can't sue the company for money just because I've decided I'm sick of them.
I understand if they're actually working and helping make the money, but if they're just sitting at home with a nanny getting high all day, fuck them.. fortunately for me, I can't stand women that have no drive, so I should be alright.
DrillShaft ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:20:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I have read (on the internet so take it however you would) alimony and half the house is to do with career sacrifice. Most wives become the mother and stay at home parent, so the assumption is that they gave up their learning and earning potential to do that and so they therefore deserve compensation for that.
As to how legit that is in some circumstances, idk, but that is how it was explained to me.
Ps. Do you have little pins and a tritip hat for those nipples? Is one a Captain and one a Lieutenant? Has there ever been a mutiny?
Dirus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like it needs to be updated
someguywhocanfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:52:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How it should work (not sure if it does) is if they're working too you can have a joint account and of course that would get split, but if they're not and all the money is kept in the breadwinner's name, they should have the right to keep all of it.
I_Stink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its gets tricky as sometimes one partner takes a lower paying and less time consuming job so that they have time to take care of the family, house etc. It is cases like this where I think they both should have a 50/50 spit after the divorce of existing assets. That being said, the lower earning individual should not get alimony the rest of his/her life from the higher earning partner. They should have a 1-2 year grace period to get your feet under you with a new career and after that you are on your own. Sadly that is now how it works in most North American areas.
someguywhocanfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, although I think a full investigation of circumstances should be done for each case. Things like potential earning for the lower-paid/not working partner had they continued in their career should be considered. If they were working as a waitress or something and switched to like, part-time work at a library or something they haven't really lost much, no need for them to be supported really. If they quit something actually promising there's more of a warrant for some money to exchange hands.
Irreleverent ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:40:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because people combine assets so where my possessions stop and your possessions start is no longer legally recognizable in many cases.
someguywhocanfly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you have separate bank accounts surely that's pretty clear cut? And bigger purchases like cars or houses are bought in someone's name, aren't they? Smaller things are not really as much of an issue.
kojak488 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prenups and wills don't always wok if the person using them fucks up along the way.
Source: my grandparents bought my mother a house that she left to me, her only child, in her will. She sold the house 5 days before she died and the money was deposited into a joint account with my step-dad. Think I saw a dime of that money? I still want to murder that (literal) mother fucker. He swindled and abused my mom while she was alive and stole some family money in her death.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure how it works in the U.S. with prenups it might be different, however in Australia my boss (director of a family law firm) straight up refuses to do them for clients. He considers it unethical to even take money for them. Apparently they can basically be bulldozed through by any semi-competent lawyer, since a prenup is so ridged and a million things can happen during the actual marriage that aren't accounted for. So prenups aren't as solid as someone people are led to believe.
flamingfireworks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:53:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it was a good idea from times where people would regularly give up their entire career going into a marriage, or when women just wouldnt have a career and getting married was (or, depending on where you live, still is) their only way of really supporting themselves.
someguywhocanfly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:13:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well the second answer is just them being completely unambitious and taking the easy route, so I don't think they deserve anything for that.
The first one is kind of a good point, but it's a fairly specific situation that varies on a case-to-case basis, and clearly more harm comes than good from this law in the modern day when you see all the people who's lives are ruined by divorce settlements. This type of law is so easily abused it's insane.
abnerjames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A century where women didn't work for moneys's idea, fucking outside marriage was less common, and being a divorced woman basically meant being an old maid, even if you were only 20.
someguywhocanfly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still doesn't really make sense to me. If women were oppressed enough to never work, why would the courts care about them after a divorce? Unless it was a law introduced by knee-jerk reaction to counteract this culture which has just never been changed since, which I guess would make sense, but doesn't make it less stupid.
EHendrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:50 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In many states its not, I am not sure about every where but in Georgia the spouse is only entitles to half of the marital assets. Basically what you both made together, not including inheritance. I am sure there are other states like this.
someguywhocanfly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:53:32 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's good, but even in longer marriages I don't know why it's assumed that all money made by both parties somehow belongs equally to both. The money each makes should be considered separate.
I understand the idea that a dependent partner might be disadvantaged if they haven't worked in a long time/ever and can't get a job following a split, but honestly that should just be part of the risk of marrying that way.
Removing these financial divvies isn't a perfect solution but it's certainly far less open to manipulation than the current system.
EHendrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:32 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The splits, which aren't as crazy as movies and TV makes it seem, I literally know of no woman who hasn't been screwed by marriage.
As for why it is assumed that all money made by both parties belongs to both is that's what you agree too when you get married.
Think of marriage like the forming of a corporation, unless there is some form of exit paperwork (Prenup) then you are essentially making one whole out of two. You in theory support your partner and they do the same for your, sometimes emotionally, sometimes financially, sometimes with labor, like keeping house and maintaining property. When you are married it should be equal between the parties because you should both be working towards common goals, not keeping score on what each person is contributing.
The system is not manipulated near as much as people think, and most of the time is is by the men screwing the women out of their fair share.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why marriage is a big decision and you don't do it with someone you can't trust. And always always have a prenup if you have sizable assets.
Rhamni ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must suck a lot. However, I have to say, in my own limited experience, at least you stop loving them pretty quickly when you realize they were conning you. I got engaged to the first girl I was in love with. It was foolish of us, but youth etc. Slowly, she fell out of love. I suspected it was happening, but tried to fix it. Eventually she broke it off. I was devastated. Really, really, 'my life is over' devastated. Again, youth. First love is so viciously real, for good and ill. But, a few months after, me still being devastated enough that it was ruining my grades for the semester (I was doing a Bachelor's degree), I was going through my account history because there was a charge I didn't know where it came from. That wasn't her. However, in going through the account history of one account I decided to go through my other account, the shared one I had had together with my ex-fiancee. And it turned out she had stopped paying into the shared account several months before breaking things off. This was the account we used to buy groceries, pay rent and other bills, etc. All in all she has failed to pay about $800 of her share for the time we lived together. As much as it sucked to realize she had stolen from me, it did at least make it much more manageable to let go of the image of her as my soulmate without whom I could never be happy.
ishboh ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:51:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd pay $800 to cure a bit of heartache, seems like a good deal as long as you aren't living paycheck to paycheck.
Icost1221 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:01:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is the benefit of being dirt poor, you donยดt have to wonder if your partner is only after your money!
Yorktown81 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow people fuckin suck
daredaki-sama ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you ain't no punk holla we want prenup
WE WANT PRENUP! Yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo ass she gon' leave with half
imnotcaligula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I aint saying she is a gold digger...
HWatch09 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:42:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might be the pessimist in me but I truly believe that if you have/won a significant amount of money (millions) before you found someone to spend your life, then it would be nearly impossible to find a true partner after the fact. Unless you hide your money well.
SirZammerz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:37:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the bright side: if she got his money she's probably bankrupt by now. Serve's 'er right
Yorktown81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to believe that!
FullplateHero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the primary downside I see to winning the lottery. Never truly knowing if someone loves you or your money. As a single guy, it's really kind of a terrifying thing to think about.
UnwrittenPath ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:28:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be a pessimist. But when you're truly that lonely and broken, can anyone say for sure that they're truly in love? Or are we just grasping at straws at that point?
Zonoro14 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you call it love? He's feeling the same emotions everyone else feels when they're in love.
20past4am ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
laughs in Dutch
WiredEgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on what state and their divorce laws at the time. Now many states follow a no-fault divorce with equitable distribution for assets where only marital property (money and goods obtained only after the marriage started) are on the table for distribution and spousal maintenance it calculated based on several factors which are meant to set the receiving party in the same position life style wise as they were in the marriage.
So if the lead a normal low key life and she was young and could work chances are she probably wouldn't have gotten a ton of money. But again it all depends on the system used for divorce in your state.
NINJAM7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Illinois about 20-25 years ago. I'm not sure about the laws back then. Hopefully it turned out OK for him. And if she did win, I bet she had shitty karma from that point on.
WiredEgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One can only hope.
Nox_Stripes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a single day passes where I dont hear stuff like this, I understand growing up poor and never really making much money, but does that really mean you have to become a shitty person like that?
the_fat_whisperer ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 17:28:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably could have, but its still culturally looked down upon to request a pre-nup unless both parties have high profile business/careers. Even still, a good lawyer could find a reason to void some or all of the pre-nup and he would have had to part from half his assets anyway.
XavierMendel ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prenup agreements are widely declared void in court. There's a precedent of the wife declaring that the societal expectation for a woman to marry, when faced with a prenup as a condition of marrying, counting as agreement under duress and therefore making it invalid. They're not as useful as people think even though they should be.
tspun ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is highly dependent on which state the couple lives in.
lowercaset ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:09:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It all is, also where I live if he didn't mix all the lotto money with her accounts then it's safe. Your partner isn't automatically entitled to half of everything you have just because you were married for 6 months here. (Unless you put their name on the account, let them switch their direct deposit to that account, etc) It all depends on where you live and your tolerance for paying for their lawyers and yours to duke it out. (Since if your partner doesn't work you typically have to pay for their lawyers and yours)
jpicazo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would seem hard to prove (duress), isn't it?
elcarath ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:36:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the argument runs something along the lines of the future marriage effectively being held hostage to obtain the pre-nuptial, and that if she were asked under different circumstances she might have refused, but given the social expectations around a bride to be, she didn't feel comfortable refusing to sign.
BenignEgoist ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:49:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am appalled that a judge would grant that. I have crippling social anxiety. Everything causes me duress. Want to call a friend to hang out? Brain: "They don't really like you. Remember that one time you did that stupid thing somewhat in their periphial 10 years ago? They hate you for that and laugh at you constantly. Better go to the casino and try to win enough money to live on a deserted island." Could I sue the casino and say they owe me all my losses back because I was gambling under duress?
son_ofthe_risingmoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:44:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a law degree, you might as well try. If you don't, claim duress and sue your lawyer for legal costs.
zachar3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment stressed me out, pay up
son_ofthe_risingmoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you mak chang for rddit mold?
elcarath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's important to consider the flip side of this: there are also situations where somebody might be compelled to behave against their own interests owing to strong social or cultural norms.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just trying to find a workaround to this in my head, but I've got no legal background so this might utterly fail.
What if you got proof (eg. a notarized document) that you stated your intent prior to engagement? The claim of duress would fall flat if you could demonstrate the other party was under no social expectation when they agreed to the terms.
elcarath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm also not a lawyer, so I've no idea how well that would work, but I think a lot of it would come down to how good everybody's lawyers are.
Also, I'd be willing to bet that most pre-nups are signed after the engagement proposal - after all, who asks their future spouse to sign a pre-nup before even proposing to them, or being proposed to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure prenups are signed post-engagement, but as you said, once a couple is engaged, there is that societal pressure, which is where the angle of duress comes into play. That's why I was suggesting hypothetically arranging the terms pre-engagement, in order to dodge that argument.
I know I'd talk about prenups before getting engaged, but I don't think simply talking about it would hold up in court.
snake_and_scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:42 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So basically, no proof required. Just come up with a sob story.
XavierMendel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much this. It's impossible to disprove duress, which is enough for most civil courts to throw the agreement out. In addition, if the court finds it to favor one person in the marriage (usually the person with the money) they may throw it out anyway by calling it unfair.
Prenup agreements are notoriously worthless in many U.S states. Some are better than others.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 questions
1) Even if prenups are widely voided, does it make a stronger case for an individual to retain their assets if a prenup was made? Even if it's not perfect, I'd imagine it'd still help their case.
2) What is the argument for the spouse getting half the assets? I've heard it's on the basis of lifestyle, but if one lives a moderate life, that wouldn't hold.
basyin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:26:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't speak to how often prenups are voided, but the "spouse gets half" thing is actually based on when women couldn't really enter the work force and therefore they would have to choose to stay in awful marriages or be homeless. It continues to be upheld because often times in a relationship one person's career will take a backseat (or one person becomes a stay at home parent) so being able to divorce someone without paying anything doesn't make sense as a) the spouse earning more money would likely not have been able to have their careers be as successful without the extra home support. b) the spouse earning less money would likely have pursued their career more aggressively if they weren't in the marriage - just because the marital promises no longer hold doesn't mean that all the lost advancement due to an arrangement while married can be rectified.
However when both parties work it often becomes about how they built a life together and when splitting each gets half of "that life." Marriage isn't supposed to be about mine versus yours so when things are intermingled it can be easier to just go 50/50 - which often leaves one ex-partner bitter because I earned the money so why do they get anything etc. etc. etc. Again, if you really want to be able to claim that though, don't freaking get married and be aware if you live in a common law state. You know the deal going in, regardless of how your feelings for the other partner change over the course of the relationship.
When I've heard of "quality of life settlements" as opposed to "I gave up a lot of my career for you and now have permanently lowered earning potential" they typically aren't the same as lifelong alimony - frequently there are time caps like $x for 5-10 years so that is actually a completely different thing (of course depending on how good your lawyer is :/ )
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the problem is that the whole system of marriage operates around the best case scenario, which leaves it so lacking for when things do go sour (which they so often do). People tend to associate prenups with a lack of faith, but it's just an attempt at preparing for the worst case scenario, and you can hardly fault someone for that.
But reading through your comment, I'm struggling to work out a just system. You could try to operate as individuals, maining separate accounts and whatnot, but having kids wrecks that. I recall reading that some companies tried to enforce parental leave, but I don't know that this is a good solution either, and it'd probably hurt the couple more than it helps.
Maybe the issue isn't with alimony itself, just with its implementation. This isn't meant to be a solid model in any real sense, but what if a couple acted like individuals until having children, and then worked out the terms of alimony as they went from then on? It'd be a tough sell, but if we treat it as renegotiating the terms of insurance rather than planning for divorce, it seems to make sense to me. And it has the added bonus of letting people decide terms before animosity arises, and there'd be more documentation, which is always ideal. Again, a hard sell, but it seems like the most fair option.
I don't know. What do you think? How would you fix things, or do you think it needs fixing at all?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't the part of the question, but fair enough. I understand that it varies greatly from place to place though; supposedly they're much more rigidly held in Europe than the US, for instance.
dj_destroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why you discuss it before you pop the question.
elsrjefe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup fuck getting married then
_J3W3LS_ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:51:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That puts a big damper on the marriage.
[deleted] ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 16:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThrowAwayTakeAwayK ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:06:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
Also, the type of person who gets pissy about not getting half your lottery money if you divorce isn't the type of person you should be marrying anyways.
ArmanDoesStuff ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:04:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I never got the animosity towards them. If I married a rich woman I'd expect to sign a pre-nup.
ThrowAwayTakeAwayK ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:34:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's probably because people get it in their head that marriage is "forever." By proposing a pre-nup, some people might immediately think that you don't think it'll last, or that you're not entirely in it for the right reasons. Which is silly, because a pre-nup would guarantee that the other person is in it for the right reasons and not just for the money. People take it extremely personally, like it's an insult on their character and intentions.
I'd totally sign one if I had a chance to marry a rich woman. I'd never feel entitled to her money if we divorced, so I don't know why woman tend to be so vehemently insulted by a rich man proposing one. If you're truly in it for the love you feel for the person, a pre-nup shouldn't even be an issue for you. If you don't or can't prove that you're not in it for the money, then that's a massive red flag right off the bat and says a lot about you.
DOV3R ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pre-nup is like getting car insurance.
I sure hope I'm never in a car accident, ever. But just in case....
5redrb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still got to be awkward to bring it up. It's really acknowledging that marriage may be temporary to both sides. If you're the poor side, you have nothing to lose if you don't get divorced, If you're the rich side you have nothing to gain if you don't get divorced. A rich person wanting a prenup looks like they have no faith, a poor person not wanting one looks like they have no faith.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but statistically your marriage might end. It's smart to sign a prenup. Marriage is actually really fuckin stupid. You're basically signing up to lose thousands of dollars in a few years when you get a divorce.
If you sign a prenup though, marriage is really smart. You get all the tax breaks a married couple gets, but none of the risk of losing your house or whatever.
People have this idea that they're special, that their marriage will last. But, based on current trends 25-33% ( The reason why you hear 50% is that stat include second and third marriages which almost always end in a divorce) of marriages will end in divorce. Why risk it? Signing a prenup doesn't make marriage any less valid, it just makes it a lot less stupid of an option..
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like having an emergency exit plan in a skyscraper is expecting a disaster to happen or wearing a seatbelt is because you expect to be in a crash.
_J3W3LS_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:21:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but some will see a pre nup as setting the marriage up to fail from the start. People want to believe it won't turn out like that, so they don't get a pre nup.
eddie1975 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:27:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend from high school got engaged when he was 38 and said he was getting a prenup like it was no big deal and had already discussed it with his soon to be wife.After he got married I foolishly asked them, "So did you guys get the prenup after all?" And he said yes and then said never bring that up again near his wife. I guess it was not something she was in favor or proud of.
OtherKindofMermaid ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:39:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the stupid thing is that if she's pissed about it, it's probably heavily skewed in his favor, which makes it less likely to hold up in court. So he might have very well pissed her off for no reason.
tspun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:10:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, depends on the state. In the state where I'm barred as long as both sides had independent representation (their own lawyer) pretty much any agreement that doesn't involve child support is fair game.
Edit: And as long as both parties fully disclose their assets. Don't try to hide anything of value.
OtherKindofMermaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the lack equal representation is one of the main issues. Too often, the person asking for the prenup is the only one with a lawyer.
eddie1975 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully he'll never need it. Time will tell....
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only person who complains about a pre-nup is someone who doesn't intend to pull their weight.
Cheeseand0nions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many people who would never marry or let their sister/daughter marry a man who does not intend to support his wife.
Less common in the industrialized west but still millions even here.
Of course, such people seldom divorce.
GrumpyOik ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or somebody who believes that if you love somebody enough to marry them, then you love them more than your money.
I have nothing against pre nups, particularly if partners enter a relationship with great inequalities in personal wealth - but it ultimately says "I love you, but don't trust you"
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:14:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you and trust you, but if something were to happen that indicates I shouldn't have trusted you, then I don't want you to have my money"
sraperez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this, locking it in the brain vault to regurgitate word for word when someone ever questions me as to why prenups are a necessary evil in today's world.
syransea ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:16:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can trust the person you're marrying while knowing you may not trust them as a person you divorce. I don't even trust myself in that situation.
Captain_Nipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After seeing some of the shit my friends/family (male and female) have been through, I dunno how some of them didn't kill their exes. People are fucking crazy, and you wouldn't realize it until you see it first hand.
I feel bad for them, and have lost friends because I realized they were the crazy ones. I've cut ties with most of them because I don't need that drama in my life.
5redrb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's certainly not the most tactful tactful thing to say but everybody knows many marriages don't last. Once people get into adulthood a bit they probably both have assets they would like to protect.
Codile ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is stupid. That's like saying you don't trust your partner because you refuse to have unprotected sex until both get tested. Of course you trust your partner, but it's still important to be careful. Would be nice if people could accept some others don't have a rosy naive outlook on life.
Ingloriousfiction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shit skim a little off the top, and go with a high class hooker.
she will probably fake loving you better than a gold digger
and does what ever the fuck you want in bed.
Coral_Blue_Number_2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they say gays are ruining marriage
syransea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:13:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has a lot more money than I ever could. I would sign a prenup in a heartbeat if and when we get married. No damper on our relationship.
NINJAM7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say so.
The only silver lining was that the ticket was bought at a liquor store near my house. I guess they get 1% of the winnings (so, $180,000) which they used to fix the place up.
TheHYPO ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least where I practice law (not family law), you are not entitled to "half of the other spouses stuff". You are entitled to (in very basic terms) half of the INCREASE IN VALUE of the other spouse's stuff over the course of the marriage.
So if the guy had 18m to start with, and spent half a million bucks in the time they were married, she would not be owed a dime of that money. Now, if he invested the 18m and it grew to 20m, she could seek some of that 2m increase... not saying she would get it, but it's hardly the same thing as someone swooping in and seeking half his winnings in the divorce.
The real problem is spousal support payments - if she became "used to" a certain lifestyle his money provided, she could argue for high support payments - but one factor there is the length of the marriage. Not sure how long they were together since op says "soon after she filed for divorce." OP also says the guy didn't live an extravagant lifestyle, so that's a factor.
It's still a big mess of legal shit that is unfortunate to have to go through even if you do win in the end.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the in depth answer, so in theory the divorce laws without a pre-nup is better than in Norway, as the wife isn't entitled to the wealth he had before they got married. Only big difference being, people don't usually end up going to court over a divorce over here.
TheHYPO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you think about it, it makes no sense for this precise reason. If one spouse of moderate means marries a wealthy spouse, and it doesn't work out, why should the moderate spouse be entitled to half of everything the wealthy spouse has built over his or her lifetime? I mean, if the spouse is really that wealthy, and the marriage was legitimate enough to last a few years, imaginably, the wealthy spouse's holdings have grown even over the period... so his $10m company now being worth $13m, the moderate spouse still has a claim for a decent share.
by the way, the difference in income calculation is also moderated by difference in debt - so if the rich spouse has taken on tons of debt to finance the wealth, that gets considered too. There are plenty of more technical details, but that's the very general case (btw, this is Ontario Canada, not the US)
kashluk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:26:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe prenups are not that solid in most states. Especially when compared to most European countries, here prenups are airtight.
elephantphallus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:41:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prenups are legally binding in the states as long as there is no fraud involved.
TrainspottingLad ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:58:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My state requires you to disclose your assets for the prenup to be valid. You only know that your prenup is valid when the judge decides that you truly disclosed all your assets accurately. How much is that family business really worth?
pjp2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't work. All she has to do is say "she signed it under duress" and it gets thrown out. Done. That simple.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if the system wasn't fucking sexist he wouldn't have to.
Everyone here knows full well she has no right to any of that money
RatchetBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judges can throw out prenumps if they feel like it.
RatchetBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judges can throw out prenumps if they feel like it.
RatchetBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judges can throw out prenumps if they feel like it.
soyeahiknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pre-nup are not iron proof. Also many states have different rules regarding a pre-nup. Basically you have to be super serious and have money because a prenup can cost a couple thousand dollars to exacute correctly.
Dirte_Joe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pre-nip would've definitely been ideal but a lot of people see it as a taboo since it's a song of you expecting to split up one day. It's easy for me to say this since I've never been married or won the lottery, it I can only imagine that would have gotten one to protect myself from something like this.
RadleyCunningham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if he had the sense to arrange for one, but they're tricky in that people suspect you if you bring it up.
-The guy may not have divulged his wealth until after they married
-a prenup before a wedding is not a pleasant thing. In its purest form, it's saying "I don't trust you enough going into this marriage to anticipate a long and happy life together, I need insurance."
there are a lot of factors to consider with a prenup- they're usually best for independently wealthy, level-headed adults that aren't foolishly in love. Love is a great thing, don't get me wrong, but you're putting a lot of trust in a future that you can't predict!
gorementor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prenups are pure evil and disgust in the eyes of the beneficiaries
Canadian_Infidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:58 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A prenup doesn't work every time either.
Justicar-terrae ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:41:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sort of outcome is why I like states with community property regimes. Instead of dividing everything at divorce, the law keeps track of which property is owned separately or in community. Community property is owned equally by the spouses, and it's made up of anything acquired during marriage (excluding gifts or inheritances made to only one person). At divorce, spouses keep their separate property and split community property.
Only 11 states have this system, but it's amazingly just. Totally prevents marriage for the purpose of stealing assets. Of course, there might still be claims of spousal support, but those claims arise more out of the richer party's income than out of their assets (my state also limits spousal support to no more than 1/3 your annual income).
DigNitty ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:50:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's absolutely the most fair.
Split what you earn/acquire during the marriage.
Keep what you earned/acquired before the marriage.
MarmeladeFuzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I understand it, it's left over from the Spanish & Mexican legal systems. Most of the Community Property states used to be Mexico.
Justicar-terrae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Except for Louisiana (French and Spanish law still applied for other reasons though) and Wisconsin (they just thought it was a neat system)
MarmeladeFuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Louisiana had it's own whacked version, but then I guess that's just my default for thinking about Louisiana. I'm pretty sure their estate law is relatively unique.
Justicar-terrae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Louisiana uses a civil code system, which is what every European country, except the UK, uses.
The civil code system started in France, but it quickly spread. The idea is to write all the laws out into a simple, self-contained book that anyone can reference. Caselaw is not binding, only statutes and customs are treated as law; in theory this is more fair because anyone can look up the law in the book quite easily. Cases and scholarly articles are mere persuasive authority for interpreting the book.
Louisiana fought tooth and nail for the right to keep French law after becoming a state; the US permitted us to use Spanish law, but not french, because Spanish law was in effect right before we became a state (since Spain had instituted it and Napoleanic had not repealed it before selling the territory). Lacking any Spanish texts, we modelled our law off of the french civil code rough draft and altered it where we knew Spain had different rules (both had similar legal traditions, so differences were minor). We've since updated the law in several major overhauls to keep the code modern.
Common law, which the rest of the US and the UK and a few former UK colonies use, takes a more reactive system where most of the law develops in the court room. Cases are binding law, and the law is fleshed out piecemeal; ideally this creates a fair system that gives each case fair consideration. The downside is that the law becomes difficult to keep track of without regular attempts to consolidate the law into casebooks.
The U.S. toyed with the idea of adopting a civil code system in every state since the common law became difficult to keep track of, but ultimately the idea was precluded by publications of works which condensed common law rules into easier to study formats. A few western states have adopted "civil codes," but only Louisiana has made an effort to use the civil code legal system the way it was meant to be used.
Both systems have become hybridized by today. Louisiana relies more on caselaw than a civil law jurisdiction should. Common law jurisdiction now have tons of legislation that alters old caselaw. Some consider places like Quebec and Louisiana to be hybrid jurisdictions (as opposed to common law or civil law jurisdictions).
Edit: spelling
snake_and_scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:20 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? So in all other states a spouse is entitled to pre-marital assets? I'm not from USA and I find this strange.
Justicar-terrae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:47 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not universal; every state is in charge of its own marriage laws. Indeed, one of the reasons that the Obergefell and Loving cases were such a big deal was because several states saw the decisions as interference with their traditional right to define marriage within their borders. Along with defining marriage, the states define all of the consequences of marriage, including divorce.
With respect to marital property at divorce, states which do not use the community property approach will instead allow property acquired during the marriage to be owned solely by the person who acquires it. This can leave a nonworking spouse with essentially nothing at the end of a marriage, and it can be difficult for someone to find work if they have a large gap in their resume or if they put off their own education to start a family while relying on their spouse's income. To solve this inequity, the courts have come up with various ways to redistribute the spouses' property. Sometimes this is done through an equal division of each party's total assets, sometimes it is done according to arbitrary "equity" concerns; but even the property acquired prior to marriage is not always safe from court seizure. within each state a person can probably look up the most commonly used methods and expect a court to apply one of those, but the gamble involved with common law divorce makes a prenuptial agreement fairly attractive as such an agreement allows the spouses to decide ahead of time how they will split property at divorce.
snake_and_scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:42 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the explanation.
So in USA, the states that keep properties separate actually damages the wealthier spouse whereas the states that keep properties together protects the wealthier spouse.
That's so unusual, I would've guessed the opposite was true. I guess when you don't have well-defined property division guidelines, the wealthier spouse would be in a lot of danger.
Wow, pre-marital property could be divided, and alimony on top of that... I totally understand when men don't want to get married.
**edit, grammar.
Justicar-terrae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:49 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supposedly the states that had community property regimes would use that as a selling point to attract women (especially wealthy women) to move out west. During the gold Rush and initial western expansion, there was a big gender disparity that put pressure on the states' to encourage immigration.
That a woman would be entitled to own half of what a gold-mining spouse might find and would have equal management rights in that property was an enticing prospect for women used to the common law. On top of that, the women would be assured of at least some property at divorce: their own premarital property plus half whatever the literal gold-mining spouse might find in the hills during the marriage.
snake_and_scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:28 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... from what I gathered from your posts, community property regimes divide only marital properties.
Common law regimes divide everything.
So how is community property regimes more attractive?
Justicar-terrae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:40 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the common law would divide things only at divorce, the wives of working men would not have access to the wealth of their husbands. Community property gives both spouses equal ownership in marital property as it is accrued, and with equal ownership came roughly equal management power (though not quite as equal as modern iterations of the law).
Also, the community property regime's treatment of separate property at divorce assured wealthy women that they would be able to keep their separate property if they divorced, so they didn't have to risk their fortunes by marrying someone.
In combination: "instead of your husband owning and controlling the family income and instead of risking your preexisting wealth in a common law marriage, you can move out west where your separate property is guaranteed to remain your own and any family income is considered half yours from the start." This message was spread to induce wealthier people to move out west and start families and businesses to sustain the new states.
Edit: I should add that while a poorer woman might prefer the divorce rules of the common law states, the management power she (or any woman) could enjoy during the marriage was far greater in the community property system. Also, an independently wealthy woman was not likely to actually gain a lot in a common law divorce since she'd already have some independant means of support; she would, however, be risking the division of her own preexisting property.
Edit 2: I suppose the fact that community property regime divorces were also fairer to men might induce more men to marry without fear of being swindled, but I don't know that this narrative was pushed by the states during the immigration adverts.
snake_and_scorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I understand. Thank you so much for your patient explanation.
ComeOnSans ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After reading all of this I can safely say that the human race is a nightmare. The only thing we should be afraid of is each other.
Jesus Christ.
jpicazo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:09:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a shame lonely people get scammed all the time. Read the stories about older men and women paying people they've never met online to pay for their groceries and stuff in hopes that they'll someday move in.
A big issue is self-esteem, I bet this guy could've gotten married to someone who legitimately loved him but as OP said he was very lonely and maybe jumped at the first person who he went out with post-lotto winnings thinking he wouldn't find anyone else who loved him.
cartmancakes ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll add "Don't get married" to my list. :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NINJAM7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:16:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this was over 20 years ago, and the guy was in his 60s or 70s. Plus he was a simple person that didn't know the world very well. He had been widowed for over 10 years and just wanted companionship.
EMCoupling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's honestly sad that he got taken advantage of like that.
Not to say that he wasn't a little bit at fault, but just a bad situation all around.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about fault. He was responsible for protecting his assets, and failed in that regard, but that doesn't make him at fault for her shitty actions.
Halfreide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit's why I'm fucked up.
I mean there are plenty of reasons but this is one of them for sure.
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor guy
givemeyours0ul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man. I would bang my way across the planet....
mellowmushroom94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats sad
by_myself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marriage: if it ends with anything other than a death, you often end up wishing it had.
IrrelevantLeprechaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you, but I've never known of men getting into superficial marriages so they can file divorce to get 50%. It always seems like it's woman who are the soul suckers.
cultured_banana_slug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I see nothing wrong or unromantic about a prenup covering assets you enter a marriage with. It should also cover inheritances. If I know I'm going to inherit $500k or something when Nana dies (I have no rich Nanas), that money is mine and no one else's. I am free to share it with my partner but they aren't entitled to it.
People get too hung up on money. Here, prenup. Clean slate. Everything from here on now is a partnership and we share. Everything behind us is our own no matter what.
Basically, if you had nothing to do with the money, it ain't yours.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Maybe once kids come into the picture things could change, or if your money is tied up. Can be messy to sort out who gets what, but that's what lawyers are for. Prenups would make things easier.
cultured_banana_slug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I don't get why people are so scared of them. It makes things so much easier. It removes emotion from the equation and allows everyone to know where they stand.
What we build while we're married is shared. Debt and assets remain the property of the ones who had them entering into things.
If my partner had a lot of debt when entering the marriage.... we'd have to take a cold hard look at things. If I married someone I would support them 100%, but I'm not foolish. If the debt were due to medical expenses or unforeseen catastrophe, I'd be more than happy to help. Spend-thrift nature? I probably wouldn't marry them without some serious contracts in place and a cavity-search-level auditing. Our accounts would be kept separate, money for expenses would be placed in a joint account that those expenses would be drawn from, and a plan to get on track would be drawn up with the expectation that it would be followed.
Money is one of the top reasons people divorce. Romance has its place but marriage is also a joining of finances. People need to look at that angle logically.
...It's all moot though because I'm an asexual introvert. :/ I'm allergic to cats too. I'll probably die alone.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother didn't graduate high school and married a rich lawyer. I'm not sure if they got a prenups, but he's living large now. I on the other hand have a PhD and a crap ton of student debt. Funny how life works out.
You'll be fine. If you want love you need to put yourself out there and take some risks. Relationships take a lot of work on both ends, but in the end it comes down to chemistry and responsibility. My GF is allergic to cats and we have 3 of them... She just takes a lot of meds and we try to clean up as much hair as possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said he married a mattress and he mattress wanted half his money. I was very confused.
NINJAM7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are times I would have married my bed. Not too far fetched
Luhardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never get married, most women are parasites.
bambixbambi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's terrible. i feel bad for him :(
cheer_up_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is a picture of a kitten to cheer you up
bambixbambi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
Turbo_MechE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a cunt
writetehcodez ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:33:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what pre-nuptial agreements are for. Your neighbor was a dumbass.
Sayitagain_IDAREU ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:59:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the problem is the other person agreeing to a prenup
writetehcodez ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:35:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if the other party doesn't agree the marriage doesn't happen. Seems pretty straightforward to me.
Sayitagain_IDAREU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:02 on October 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but you love that person and believe they are the one. I wouldn't sacrifice happiness and the person I love for it.
writetehcodez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on October 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marriage is a legally binding contract, it has nothing to do with love and happiness.
TheNorthAmerican ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:25:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit is why the red pill exists.
aMutantChicken ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:31:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of course nobody selling it wants you to know that.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:41:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wonderfulworldofweed ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:13:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It probably would be a little different but your beige family members would hit you up and anyone you ever talked to. Luckily I'm a dick and would tell anyone that wasn't a day one friend to hit the bricks
SlowRolla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be easier, but I would bet people from wealthy areas are probably underrepresented in the lottery-ticket-buying demographic.
Geoff_Smith ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:07:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I went to Highschool with (or their family) won the lottery. Got it all up front, bought a house, invested the rest/put it in the bank. Haven't had an issue yet last I heard.
Edit: it wasn't much compared to other comments. 8 million
be_nice_to__me_plz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:13:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I just mean that considering I live paycheck to paycheck I've never really considered how complicated having so much money could be? Because to me, winning 700 million (or whatever) just seems like having that exact number in my checking account you know? I never even considered that it could be a burden.
ztfreeman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:00:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment prompted me to finally respond to this because someone said something exactly like that once. If you check through my comment history you don't have to go back very far to see that I am going through a hard time.
Do some research further and you'll see that I was once a business owner, and even a very moderately successful one in a rural area. The one thing I taught myself is that money is absolutely not a single number in your checking account. Even living hand to mouth, as I am now, it is very bad to think of it or manage it that way. Saving, investing, those are the most important ways to get out from living in poverty.
But it didn't save me. I saved all money, ran a successful business, and it took me 5 years to have $250,000 earned up through wise (and a bit more riskier than normal) investments and savings making salaries less than $40,000 a year (usually a lot less). Never married, cost of living is low where I come from, really frugal are all major factors in making that work.
I have like 10 bucks and an overdrawn credit card now and am basically homeless. How? Well it's a long ass story, but not too different from the lottery stories. My abusive schizophrenic mom showed up years ago and my family abandoned her so I became her caretaker and that bled through all of that. Actually more than that because I tallied up around $280,000 in medical and legal expenses until I finally got her on disability and into assisted living care after years of fighting for it.
With all of my nest egg burned through I then had to close my business due to the crappy regional economy kneecapped by globalization, the major recession, and other factors. I then worked remote jobs supporting my then ex-fiancee only for her to be emotionally and eventually physically unavailable and supportive as I attempted to go to school to change career paths. Then I fell into a situation taking care of college kids, and after some school drama where I was at the end of nasty untrue rumors I lost my apartment and am now basically homeless with the school doing absolutely nothing to help me.
In between all of that, while I ran my business (and as somewhat of a running theme even after that and into my college experience as an adult student) droves of people came out of the wood work for me to help them, save them, do things for them which I gladly did for ages thinking that it made me a good person.
And now that I don't have anything to give, and I have been totally used up, no one calls. A few people (ironically one of which is the ex-fiancee) have sent me a few dollars here or there to buy bread or a hot meal. I can actually only talk to you now because someone is paying the cell bill to stay on my premium business data plan.
But really, I have been almost totally abandoned in everyway. I don't even have someone I can physically talk to for emotionally comfort really. And this especially hurts because I grew very attached to the people I met at the college because they didn't know me from being a successful business owner and I thought they were different, but no, it was just that I was being emotionally used up instead of monetarily, especially by the girl I met there who lied to me utterly and started many of the rumors about me.
Reading all of those lottery stories hit home for me because I lived it through relative success compaired to the proverty of my hometown. If I were to win a jackpot now, I would tell no one, discreetly pay back people who have helped me now exactly what they have donated to me, follow the investing advice in the post and hold up in a clean apartment within walking distance of essentials for a while and probably just cry in relief for a while until I am ready to trust someone again.
guitarnoir ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:16:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Money does not buy Happiness".
"All I ask is the opportunity to test your theory".
be_nice_to__me_plz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I understand money buys comfort but you have to make your own happiness. But still I would like more money plz
ChineseMythDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never expect it to be like it is, but it do.
RiotSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. One of my oldest friends won the lottery in the UK (it was millions he won). It brought him misery, a divorce, a breakdown, alcoholism and of course all the money went long ago. He has trust issues now because of all the new "friends" and missing relatives that popped up looking for handouts.
If you saw him now you would think he was a hobo. Very sad.
Gosu-Sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just depends on who you are. The type of people to frequently buy lottery tickets tend not to be the best at managing money and his story is just one anecdote. The others he lists are more typical cases but he doesn't go into details. This is far from direct cause and effect.
ryanderson11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably have to move after you win :/
discojon84 ยท 1362 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm all about Whittaker. Source: was my neighbor.
[deleted] ยท 450 points ยท Posted at 17:39:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
discojon84 ยท 450 points ยท Posted at 17:43:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I think a lot of what happened was due to the Grand daughter. She didn't exactly hang around a great crowd, then the money hit.
All the articles I've seen satirize the small WV town. Well it's not really that small. The specific town he lived was unincorporated, but is in one of the top 5 affluent counties in the state. She went to a AAA high school that had multiple state championship titles. The cheapest house in our neighborhood is around $220k and goes up to around $500k.
flimspringfield ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 20:29:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to move out of CA.
fatnino ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 20:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding. A 3 bed 1 bath one story "fixer upper" (read: no one is looking at the structure because it's being torn down the day the place sells) goes for 2 million on my street
jchabotte ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:55:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuuuck... i'm never moving again.. i'm on 60 acres in a rural area with no neighbors and was my wife's grandparents' place.. i shudder to think of ever having a mortgage again.
tvgovernment ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:11:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well that sounds beautiful! i love ancestral homes
YouThereOgre ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as incestral (if that's even a word) homes. shudders
Baneofbanes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you never know...
zoomer296 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their ancestors could easily been incestors
tvgovernment ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaaaaand that's a place I'll never go
zoomer296 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, the house I live in was bought for 15k USD twenty years ago, and was appraised at a little under 10K a few years ago.
A three-year-old house a few doors over sold for 10k just before that.
fatnino ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you don't live in silicon valley
zoomer296 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I live in the safest house in the neighborhood though. It'd take one hell of a bullet to go through two layers of brick and a metal plate.
fatnino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullets? Bricks? These are foreign concepts to me.
zoomer296 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:30:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strong wall stop blam blam if needed.
fatnino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be worried about the strong wall falling on my head in an earthquake
zoomer296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:26 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're not at a high risk for earthquakes here, but we do have our own unique things to worry about.
DarkMatter68 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:39:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah at first I was thinking there was no way he could be living in a wealthy neighborhood with houses around $500,000 in CA, but then I realized he probably was living in an area where houses are affordable.
TheSandbagger ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, location differences blow my mind. Suburb of Cleveland here, 500k will get you a very nice house in a great neighborhood. I want to check out Cali so bad, but prices like that just make it borderline impossible to do so unless I'm willing to immediately commit longtime.
bishnu13 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:22:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would lucky to live under a bridge for 500k in SF
jmagsss ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:42:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My thoughts exactly, but I love it here.
Iam_MittRomney ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or CO. I'm in Denver. My house was 489.... and it's not fancy at all. It's just a house
Maniacbottoms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
PMme_awesome_music ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real estate in CA is insane. I've been wanting to move out there for a couple years just to try it but the cost of living is terrifying. I mean seriously, where I am I can rent a decent apartment or share a house with some roommates for around $300-400. Even if I can get paid triple living in CA it won't make up the difference.
bullshitfree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:52 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the Sacramento area. I haven't looked at prices in years but it's certainly better than Bay Area or SoCal. I'm able to live alone and have a big ass place in a really affluent area.
jeremyjava ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? (Or win the lottery.) $500k wouldn't buy a 450sf studio apt in my neighborhood in nyc.
flimspringfield ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much is rent on a 450sq apartment?
My take (as someone that lives in Los Angeles and not in NY) is that you don't need a car so that saves some money and you have a ton of restaurants and stores (bodegas) within enough walking range that again you don't need a vehicle. Same with bars which means no need to drive (aka saving you from a DUI) and no need to take an Uber.
Just the car is $300 a month in savings not counting gas (for me thats an extra $100 per month) plus insurance (which is abnormally high at $160 because of a certain stupidity) so that means in my part I would be saving $560 per month.
jeremyjava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Older studios in desirable neighborhoods about 450 to 650, new modern ones can run nearly a million
_bitchola_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:42 on December 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That... doesn't sound so bad. In socal as well and youll be lucky to find an old shabby studio for anything under $1100
Ninja edit: just realized you meant 450-650 k, not monthly rent. Yeah, that sounds terrible
jeremyjava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:32 on December 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup - looking at 2bd places for rent or to buy, and it's absurd in Manhattan.
Mr_Julez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, a shack in CA is already 500k. Haha
HBlight ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:35:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starting off with 15 mil self made he was probably already in the good part of town.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:11:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TechieTheFox ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:16:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a step that the big post doesn't really mention iirc. Move to someplace like the hamptons or Beverly Hills where your jackpot still puts you nowhere near being the richest in the area. Perfect blending in.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:53:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
imbreaststroke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, $220k is a lot for a house?
-Sincerely,
California
Dultsboi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:23:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
500k is pretty cheap lol
discojon84 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:29:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Current median home price according to zillos is $154,500. It's not the nicest neighborhood around but not the slums. $500k will go pretty far here considering the average household income is $39,170.
Rhine1906 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$160k in NE Huntsville, AL will get you 1700sqft, 3 bed, 2 ba.
Only benefit to living in AL? Living in a metro, progressive city (Bham definitely, Huntsville almost) in the state shields you from most of the crap here.
Gudvangen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My thought exactly. If I won the lottery, I would probably move to some place where I'd have a lot of wealthy neighbors and I could blend in. But, there's no guarantee that people from your home town wouldn't follow.
EverydayImprov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine from one step to the next he had no suspicion that things would KEEP getting worse.
DonVitoCornholione ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I win the big bucks, after following the advice in the linked post and making sure my money is socked away in various accounts and institutions, the first thing I'd do is to disappear as much as possible. Like a fortress on a private island. Or an underground bunker. Anything to secure my body, my identity, and my location.
I kinda blame the guy for this, to be honest. What sane person would think they could stick around in the same town and life would go on as normal?
chaosintheDark ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:23:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he still your neighbour now?
discojon84 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 16:35:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. They have since moved and the house sold.
dowdymeatballs ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:19:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like that should have been first.
puddyboy28 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thing that came to my head reading about him was the town he lived in was terrible.
discojon84 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:09:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really a decent place to live. Sure there are low income areas around us but it's not depressed at all like the coalfields in southern WV.
BenignEgoist ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:33:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may be a swell town but the harassment from the police force is one indication of how the town played a part. They saw easy fines to add to their budget and jumped at it.
discojon84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you notice, we are unincorporated and don't have a local pd. There are several Incorporated towns near by and the deputy sheriffs have jurisdiction here. I don't know the circumstances behind the harrassment but I'm sure it was at least partially deserved.
puddyboy28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just seems like everyone in the town was out to get him though.
Prettyniceyeahh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:22:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's true, then I grew up across the street from you in the next subdivision, Dawn Heights
discojon84 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our baby sitter lives there.
you_reddit_herefolks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:08:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that's crazy that you saw this post and that happens to be your neighbor. I wanna say small world, but it's more like "big internet"
JustinGitelmanMusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever ask him for money?
discojon84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Never knew him personally thank God. After his winnings, he became the shit-Midas. /Lahey
SinkHoleDeMayo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin way she goes
EeeUnlucky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm all about /u/discojon84. Source: the interwebs told me so.
FishOnHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, fellow West Virginian!
discojon84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:22:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Howdy
Danceswithcows304 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No shit, I live in WV right outside Charleston. Everyone in the valley knows all too much about his life lol
HabitualSnubnose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA?
discojon84 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:20:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you can ask, not sure I'll have an answer...
boxofstuff ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have any anecdotal funny stories?
discojon84 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:35:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, unfortunately. I graduated several years ahead of when brandi would have but had several friends in her clique. At one point she was paying a kids with his license as a chauffeur to take her to school and around town. The strip club stuff is totally true. It was called the pink pony and is now a BBQ place called barnyard bbq.
sweetcuppingcakes ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:16:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure, I'll sell you my building. But I'm going to make you the same deal I made the last guy: The name of your establishment must contain alliteration. No exceptions."
CrepuscularHillbilly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm everything this guy is saying. Grew up in WV, worked at the racetrack/casino up the road from the Pink Pony at the time Whittaker hit the jackpot. He'd come in several times a week, hangout in the high roller room, and feed $20's into a slot machine for hours on end.
discojon84 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:45:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Total train wreck...
bullshitfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:31 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How were people able to allegedly drain his bank account? I've seen stories about that and it always baffled me. Like the first time a big amount of money went missing isn't it just common sense to get another account?
discojon84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:56 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he was robbed several times that the public knows about. They took cash money. I'm sure there was other monies taken that was reported. He gambled away a ton of it and a lot was used for legal defense and hush money.
bullshitfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:50 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I remember he allegedly got robbed of over $100,000 at a strip club once. I saw a recent follow-up article were he was claiming to be bankrupt. I just didn't understand his claims of being robbed via wire transfer on numerous occasions.
discojon84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:45 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't know anything about that
Starkrunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA?
sardu1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok. What do you like better? Turkey or Chicken gravy?
Starkrunner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'know, I probably couldn't tell the difference. I think sausage gravy outclasses them both
IWatchGifsForWayToo ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how that wasn't already saved for me. I've read it, all of it, a couple times. It's kept me up at night. What would I do with a stupid amount of money? How much do I really need for the rest of my life? Would I still want to work? If I don't work, what would I do with my days? It's a very good post but it will leave you haunted for a while after finishing it.
derpotologist ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:52:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Drugs and hookers.
Too bad I don't play the lottery :(
ThrowAwayTakeAwayK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:16:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For real, I sure as hell wouldn't work, unless I moved to a island / beach town and opened up a surf shop or tiki bar. I'd do everything OP said to do to make sure I'm safe and secure, but no one who knows me right now would ever see me again (except immediate family). I'd change my name and peace out to live lowkey on a beach somewhere until I die in the sand.
sorenslothe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same for me, I've probably read it through five times by now. Partly because it's very interesting to me, but also because it's so incredibly well written, and such a good story! Everytime I read it I think how stupid it is that winners of huge jackpots have to be made public. I can't think of any reason for that, apart from PR value for the lottery companies, but that's probably exactly why they've lobbied for it to be law (ninja edit: Which I'm guessing they have).
Watty13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:29 on August 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has their multi millons plan dude
Id restore old buildings in my nation. Turn them into businesses and invest/finance small independent stores in my local area. As well as buy 20 flats for the rent money every month and love off that mind you I dont need alot. Id also own a bar because why not
Nicksterx8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well money won't make you happier, it's proven so maybe you want to give most of it to charity and keep the rest
Eschatonbreakfast ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:07:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't true. Up to a certain amount money will increase happiness. Past that you get diminishing returns.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:33:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Money may not buy happiness but it does let you shop in better places for it.
Nicksterx8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you mean if you are poor or homeless money will make you happier, probably true
Eschatonbreakfast ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Median income is around 50,000. Income up to around 80,000 tends to increase happiness.
So not just "poor" or homeless unless you have a skewed idea about what poor looks like.
HerrXRDS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:49:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how money won't make me happier. All I want from life is to live a simple life. Live somwhere in the countryside working on my hobbies and own an RV that I can take out a few months per year and go hike on mountains. I was able to live pretty close to this for a year and it was the happiest year of my life. It has become my only goal in life. I've been working for years 80+ hours every week just to gain egnough financial freedom to live like that. So far the goal is nowhere in sight and at this point I'm not even sure it is attainable before retirement, but that' s the point, some people don't need expensive houses or cars to be happy. Just the free time money can offer you to enjoy life. If you listen to most multimillionaires, most of them say they enjoy the free time money can offer you, not the houses or cars
shadyelf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i prefer to think of it as peace of mind related to financial issues rather than blanket happiness. I can still get sick or die for example.
Christofferoff ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, if I had $30m I would probably give at the very least 20m to charities anonymously. I'd be too conscious of how bad some parts of the world are getting not to.
IFuckingHateAllergy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:52:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not very smart though. If you really wanted to help you could invest that 20 million and have all the annual interest be paid to charity. You get to donate AND still have the 20 million.
Christofferoff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, by 30 million I meant more along the lines of 30 million left over after I had already invested a chunk of money, but you are right. That would be a smarter way to do things.
AsianWithGlasses ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When he started listing off examples of what happened to people who won the lottery it reminded me of when Edna was listing off the Supers that died due to their capes to Bob in The Incredibles.
Dwight- ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:01:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO CAPES!
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 16:20:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This may be the best financial advice for when you accidentally gain a large amount of money.
Mortys_Plumbus ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:25:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now if I could have some advice on how to accidentally gain a large amount of money.
PM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRLS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:22:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play the lottery!
NightShade155 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:27:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Getting rich from the lotto is like trying to commit suicide by flying commercial airlines.
lovesickremix ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:39:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fly Malaysia...so there IS a chance...
azrael4h ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or United. They'll just beat you to death.
DerTrickIstZuAtmen ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:35:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that lottery winners are disproportionately often people with a high risk of compulsive gambling and all the comorbid issues that are associated with it.
Psychiatric Times: Psychiatric Comorbidity Associated With Pathological Gambling (PG).
Such are:
So: Yeah, people who win the lottery can end up bad, but that could be hugely influenced the sort of people who buy the most lottery tickets.
Hrax535 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:23:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume that in the US you can't just stay anonymous when you win the lotto?
Here in the UK you can remain anonymous so if me and my wife ever won we wouldn't tell anyone the extent of our win. Obviously we would tell family and friends that we had won some money but they would never know just how much.
Even my kids wouldn't find out until they got their inheritance.
azrael4h ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:11:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It varies state to state, like many things. I think someone mentioned Maryland as allowing you to claim anonymously. TN, where I live, you can't, though I don't know if you can claim through a trust. I think West Virginia you can't.
I'd dress up, wear a rag on my head, fake tan and beard and sun glasses, and talk like 'Macho Man' Randy Savage for the picture and interview. Then after, I'd legally change my name and move away from where I am, never to return. Partly because I only have Comcast as an ISP, and I'll be damned if I stay with them if I can move elsewhere. I don't know if you can legally change your SSN, but I'd do that too if I can. I may ruin my credit and everything else, but I would literally disappear for good. Pay off my CC, and cancel it.
I'll also abandon my truck (literally, just park it on the side of the road and never return for it) and buy another vehicle to replace it. Cash only and it'll be registered under my new name. Any home or vehicle would be low key, Dodge Diplomat type stuff. No one with money would drive one. Even poor people wouldn't be caught dead in one. House would be small, so that no one would guess I was rich from it.
The only piece of furniture I'd keep is one bookcase my dad made for me, I'd even abandon my home and most furniture. Just take things I can't replace, like my pets, my computer (which will be replaced with a newer gaming rig anyway) and a few rare books I own.
Helps that I'm single, have very little interest in dating, and have no discernible personality so no one even remembers me after I'm gone.
Snow_Goons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe in some states you can have your lawyer claim the winnings and the name would be under a trust. But that's just something I read. Other than that, your post sounds exactly like my lottery plan.
azrael4h ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I just didn't know for sure in TN. Put as many steps to finding me as possible, so my ex wife can't try to worm her way into anything.
Lilredh4iredgrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello TN! I'm TN here, too! You can have it accepted by a trust, fortunately. However, if I ever see Randy Savage accept a lotto win, I'll know who it was!
azrael4h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snap into a Slim Jim!
ericcris10sen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:29:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate states that tell you that you HAVE to give your name and be in the news when you win. Like hey fuckface, I don't want to be in the fucking news.
__NomDePlume__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, there should be a privacy option of some sort that keeps your face out of the paper, but lets the state show it's an actually living person that won the money
OEMcatballs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, which do you want less--to be in the news, or millions of money?
ericcris10sen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in the article it's showing that being publicly shown can lead to some serious consequences. People constantly asking for money. Kidnapping. MURDER. Yea I'd like millions of dollars but don't want the whole fucking world to know!
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 16:13:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we might have actually skipped over that step on our way to where we are.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KANYE 2024!
Spyrakis ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:30:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that only counts if you live in the US but still good to know what it can do to people.
frogjg2003 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 16:24:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The specifics (e.g. which financial instruments to put your money in) may be for the US, but the general idea is the same: if you suddenly come into a lot of money, people will try to take it from you and you are likely to destroy yourself.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:27:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're already anti-social and hate people and plan to live like a super rich Scrooge? I've already begun the ground work for that. Just need the super rich part to come and I'll be set.
Valjean_The_Dark_One ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I'm concerned, if I won the lottery I would buy a huge plot of land in canada, then live there for the rest of my life. I wouldn't need for anything and if I want it I'll make it.
Nicksterx8 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:41:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like the post said, you will be robbed, falsely accused of literally anything, murdered, one of your family members or friends may be kidnapped, everything is wayyyyy more likely when you are rich
Valjean_The_Dark_One ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't be murdered by your friends and family if you abandon them to live in the woods in canada
Nicksterx8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even say they would do that though, if your family would actually murder for money they are f ed up, trying to get money out of you is different then murder
Valjean_The_Dark_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know but leaving everyone to go live in canada sort of implies that I'm cutting ties. That's what was intended anyway. I wouldn't give any money to my family anyway. Buncha dickheads.
Nicksterx8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for you, I'm super lucky to have such a great family even if my brother is a dik sometimes
Valjean_The_Dark_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He is the best dad I could ever ask for. But my mother can eat shit. My sister is too flaky and never responds to any of my attempts to talk to her. Outside of my immediate family they're alright, but never seeing them again would make no difference in my life.
PaulyWithADolly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:00:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do CEOs, celebrities, and other multi-millionaires avoid this?
Goluxas ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:08:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mainly because of perception, and the speed that they accumulated their wealth. A poor person that wins the lottery is gonna have a lot of jealous friends. They'll feel like he's just lucky, he didn't earn the money, etc.
Somebody who goes from VP to CEO just got a pay raise.
clemtiger2011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly this.
It's one move after another, and the money gets better each time. Start at Product Manager - move up to Principal Product Manager, then Group Product Manager, then Director of Product. followed by VP of Product, and an EVP role, followed by a CXO role.
If you play your cards right and aren't averse to hopping from company to company, you can leverage each of those jumps to be 40-50%+ increases in pay, plus options, roughly every 2-3 years.
Source: Current group product manager. Pay Raise for the role was 47%. Pay Raise from PM to Principal PM was 35%. Next role will likely be another GPM role with a 20% bump, then a move to Director-level role.
SoMoneyAndDontKnowIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was your education & experience when you first got into your product manager role? Also, if you don't mind me asking..what product? The positions I've been coming across say "entry level" but require 5 years experience!
clemtiger2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bachelor's degrees in Comp. Sci and Economics. I was a year out of school before landing my first PM role, but I had work experience in software while I was in school and during a bit of time that I had dropped out due to family reasons.
My First product was Business intelligence at a startup. We got acquired for $1 billion+. I stayed on as a principle PM until last year when I made the move to Group PM at another startup. Plan is to be here for 2 years and move on.
SoMoneyAndDontKnowIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the reply and info! That's awesome man. Where are all these startups located? I feel like I will have to move to pursue the field. (In Kansas City)
vergasion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know this as well.
frogjg2003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The rest of the world will do its best to prevent you from achieving that goal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bah-humbug.
atyon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The idea to publicly announce lottery winners seems so stupid to me. Why announce the name and location of people with large amounts of money, who don't know how to deal with that situation and had no time to protect themselves?
Also, I think it's very funny that him winning a 315+ million dollar jackpot means he gets 170 million, and 115 million after taxes. But I do think that it is ridiculous that we don't tax lottery winnings where I'm from.
frogjg2003 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The specifics (e.g. which financial instruments to put your money in) may be for the US, but the general idea is the same: if you suddenly come into a lot of money, people will try to take it from you and you are likely to destroy yourself.
atyon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:10:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In many countries you can keep it secret that you've won the lottery. Where I'm from, the lottery agencies even strongly advise you to. Payout takes a while to allow you to adjust to your new wealth, and if your win is very high, the agency will recommend a trustworthy financial advisor.
skaapsker ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:18:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have that exact same comment saved and read through all of it again a month or two ago.
I am yet to start playing the lottery.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:38:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is all I keep thinking: "How many of these people actually buy lotto tickets though..."
ominousgraycat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:03:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy how juries will favor anyone who has a claim against a lottery winner. "Our son died because this guy gave him too much money, so we think now he should have to give us more money as compensation!" That's just straight up ridiculous right there.
Culveys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps at least part of it is that the juries feel that they are in a similar position to the plaintiff. The level thinking that motivates someone to sue for frivolous circumstances just because the defendant is loaded is probably the one that rewards those making the accusations.
Northernlighter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:41:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
meh! there's an easy fix to most these problems of winning the lottery... Win the lottery in Canada!! no tax on the winnings (only on profit you make from the winnings, so basically interests), crime rate still lower than most american cities, no lawsuits. Also, having a great familly helps a lot. My parents don't need money, they are already swimming in it from their retirement (I think they actually do more than when they are working...). But I would still get my personal attorney and what not to protect myself a bit.
Totally_PJ_Soles ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:42:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do incredibly wealthy people avoid all the attempted robbery, kidnappings, and murder? I feel like I gotta beef up security first but then my security guard will try to steal from Me!
earthlings_all ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most of their friends and family also have money, no? Lottery winners, no such luck.
LoudMouth825 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel the homicide and kidnapping are more connected with how they fucking announce you as the winner rather then anonymously which is how it should be imo.
ThrowAwayTakeAwayK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, I don't know why announcing the person's name publicly and plastering their face all over the news is even allowed. It's downright dangerous.
eukel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:19:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand why the poster recommends taking the lump sum if it's so unlucky/difficult to survive winning a jackpot. Why not make it easy on yourself and choose the annuity?
Mortys_Plumbus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:24:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't they stop paying you at one point and you'd be shit outta luck? Plus I heard some investors recommend it because it's easier to beat inflation by investing it instead of getting that check.
Sebilis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:47:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The general idea is that you'll get the problems either way. You will also get more bang for your buck if you take the lump sum because you can start investing and making a safety net sooner.
eukel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many of the problems would go away if you took the annuity. If you can't access your cash all at once then you can't blow it all on yourself or others. If someone pressures you for financial aid you say sorry it's all locked up.
AnticitizenPrime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's what I don't get either. All those people that went bankrupt in a decade or so.... if they took the payments, they would still be getting an income.
I get that the lump sum makes sense financially, but shit, you've already got more money than you'll ever realistically need, who cares about a 2% difference if there's a large chance you'll end up bankrupt, murdered, etc?
'Sorry, solicitors, I can't loan you a million bucks, I'm on a budget here.'
azrael4h ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of the problems would go away if you moved away, and invested it safely to for that net to begin with.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you just say you took annuity even if you took the lump sum?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That's messed up.
box-art ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'd never tell anyone that I won. This is why I'd continue working some weak ass job (with low hours so I have time plenty of time to do things I actually want to do), this is why I'd buy nice things like a TV, a car (I'd fucking finance the car to make it look like I can barely afford it) and assloads of clothing. And if anyone asks, I'm broke as shit and I'm barely making ends meet.
Goluxas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:01:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the followup posters mentioned that some areas require you to make a public appearance when you collect the money, and release your name to the press.
So uh, hopefully your friends are cord-cutters.
box-art ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:05:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Finland, we have these things called Veikkaus cards. The money would automatically be transferred to my bank account without me ever having to do anything because I used my Veikkaus card to register the transaction. So while you might be screwed in the US, not so much in Finland. I do believe Veikkaus would invite me over for a cup of joe but I'd just simply decline it and move on. The press would however report where the winning ticket was played so I'd just simply have to quietly move a few months after winning to avoid suspicion.
kingly_cheese ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Illinois so I have the luxury of never having to worry about winning the lottery. /s
sith74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the State just pulled Mega and Powerball today and is only paying out a max of $25,000 on it's own Lotto. This State is crap.
Philosophile42 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:50:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to say there is any bad advice in that post, but people who play the lottery are a particular set of people usually low income. Low income individuals usually don't have a lot of education, so when they win, they utilize the money very poorly. So the likelihood of lottery winners using their money poorly isn't because of the lottery per se, but the kind of players it attracts.
ominousgraycat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:05:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but the main guy he talks about in that post already had 15 million dollars BEFORE he won the lottery. He said problems started when everyone suddenly knew how rich he was and accosted him everywhere he went. It happens to a lot of pro sports players too, suddenly everyone they ever knew try to make them feel awful unless they give them a lot of money for something or another.
LEW1S1900 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:19:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do love this comment as well, but I'm just a bit curious as to the legitimacy of some of the claims made in it. Personally, I have never been able to find a source for the stats in it, but if anyone else can link me to some sources, please do!
nerf_herder1986 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:42:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ho... oh, /u/BlakeClass, you weren't too far off...
mandolin2712 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:48:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Now, if I ever win the lottery, I'll be set!
FlowSoSlow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that you know what I would do if I won the lottery? I'd build a hospital on a tropical island somewhere with a state of the art cardiology wing.
Not for charity but so they could replace my heart when it gives out from all the hookers and blow.
_Fish_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do anyone know what happened to the last year 1.5 billion dollar winners? They brought their whole family on tv before even cashing out on their winning.
Source
SoMoneyAndDontKnowIt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:07:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They completely did the opposite of what they should have. And the dad was literally just walking he streets with a $1 billion ticket in his pocket....and telling everyone that he's doing it!!
GeorgiaOKeefinItReal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
earthlings_all ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man we will definitely need an update on that guy.
Rojaddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:12:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully this doesn't get buried, but it is not mentioned in the link. If you get a big windfall, 20million+ after taxes, in addition to following the advice above, you need to get a family manager. This is something to do through the expensive lawyer you hired. He or she will help you create what is called a "family office."
If you are very wealthy, it is important that you allow your family manager/office to basically do everything for you that involves money, particularly gifts. If you want to buy a car - tell your family office, they will do it for you. You have no idea what kind of liability you open yourself up to by parking your own car. It's worth the extra thousand bucks to have your lawyer and family manager go over the ground rules of how to shop for your own groceries. Movie tickets may cost $2000/person with your call to the office - arranged transportation, sending a guy to get cash, etc - but it might save your nest egg.
The world becomes a much more litigious place when you have money. It takes a professional expert to avoid most of the risk. You will almost certainly get sued no matter how careful you are. And you will almost certainly settle or even lose a case or two for many thousands of dollars.
Finally, all of this advice is for lottery winners/heirs who were not already rich. If you couldn't earn that 100 million on your own, it is absurd to expect yourself to suddenly become good enough at finance to earn more than your current paycheck or the interest rate on a Treasury bond. Don't fall victim to survivorship bias - if you sucked with money the day you bought that ticket, you still suck with money.
Also, if your uncle really is a partner in a top 50 firm or major boutique operation that does high end consumer law, then you can totally trust him to help you. In fact, real super rich people do not tend to go to top 50 firms, they almost always use trusted contacts and smaller firms tailored to their needs. However, they are already rich and know how to find this stuff.
Finally, the above link talks a lot about trust funds. Trusts are great, but money in a trust is not yours anymore, it belongs to the Trust. If a Trust or the Trustee (a bank/family office employee who manages the trust) is sued, they can use the assets in the trust to defend themselves - even against you.
SpiritMountain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many of us did. IIRC, this was posted around the time when the American lottery, Powerball, had like a jackpot of near 1 billion or something.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:22:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this saved too
filesaved ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to save it and realized I already had.
shelcod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always said that if I win the lottery, I am cutting ties with everyone I know and faking my death.
Carver1776 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that was great read! Thank you for sharing.
S-is-DA-BES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:44:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice I wanted this!!
SorryToSay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder why Whittaker didn't donate like 2% to the local police for new equipment & resources given his.... proclivities?
falesk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came to post about this.
SorryToSay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder why Whittaker didn't donate like 2% to the local police for new equipment & resources given his.... proclivities?
headbobbin_ichabod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have that saved too, even though I've never actually played the lottery and never intend to.
thehumanlank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Hugo from Lost was right then...
PhillyComedy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I have that saved for the exact same reason!!
*I don't even play the lottery, but just in case I come into a fuck-ton of money, I'll know where to go first.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great. Now I'm surveying my loved ones to see if they're the type to murder me in my sleep over a few bucks.
Gomerpyle86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now its in my saved section.
SorryToSay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder why Whittaker didn't donate like 2% to the local police for new equipment & resources given his.... proclivities?
esmifra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's a valid reason for offshore accounts if i ever read one. Use an offshore to by a (multiple) houses. Start a new life somewhere else where no one knows you. Only one slightly small amount of friends knows where you live. Things go sour? Move to another place.
Psychotic_Precision ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is crazy.
GreyFoxNinjaFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't think I would.. but I read all of it. Someone should make a documentary about this. It's fascinating.
nishnat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has too less upvotes... So does the original comment
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a few states that let you remain anonymous. Ohio for the win
Zoze13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just read in full and saved it myself. Thanks!
haegla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Incredible read.
TheDescendingLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's my first ever saved post
yellowstickypad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same one saved for just in case.
Jrunnah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved the same post. Not that I'll ever need it
futture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was heavy! I'm scared
Pulsipher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had this same post saved too!
gunmagemikey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess i have it saved too. Thanks stranger.
amazing_wanderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a movie about Whittaker would be really really interesting.
z3roth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this one as well. Shared it with quite a few friends for the read.
tealeafegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this exact post too lol
Leobreacker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing...thanks for sharing this.
strosb4hos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved that too! I ain't going down like that dude if I ever get bank
bodhbh_dearg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is definitely one of the best posts I've ever read on here. Thanks for sharing!
An_Anaithnid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why names shouldn't be mentioned, photos shouldn't be published and the agent that sold the ticket shouldn't be named.
Australia gets it sort of right in that regard.
Lethalponyinterceptr ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 15:07:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/LO5LKp5.gifv
kaaiitlin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:39:03 on November 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me: this is just a carnival ri-OWOHOHOH
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So recent though.
Lethalponyinterceptr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:45:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only found out about the save button 2 months ago so I don't have anything older
sweetpotato37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:12 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell is he doing that without getting windswept?
[deleted] ยท 15835 points ยท Posted at 14:08:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bugbad ยท 2445 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Demonstrate that you are capable of keeping something alive". Brilliant.
NoApollonia ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 19:38:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One I vetoed. I would rather demonstrate I can't keep a plant alive by not having one and maybe people will stop asking when I am having kids.
[deleted] ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 19:40:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh i had some"
Then say nothing else and turn to stare at your dead spider plant silently for a while, sighing occasionally.
NoApollonia ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh, but a little too morbid for everyday use.
DRUNK_CYCLIST ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:23:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could always keep the child's corpse around if you're not into plants...
NoApollonia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:44:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would be unsightly and probably pretty smelly.....
DRUNK_CYCLIST ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than a dead poinsettia?
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That I don't know. I haven't ever had a poinsettia plant for more than a day - I ended up giving it away.
noctrnalsymphony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
get a plant and let it die and don't get rid of it
NoApollonia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been tempted. My longest success at keeping a plant alive by myself was maybe 1-2 weeks.
lupanime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:38 on August 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get a succulent, you won't regret it.
NoApollonia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:08 on August 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will consider it - easy to take care of?
lupanime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:46 on August 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. They only need the right type of soil, plenty of sunlight and very little water. The green ones are better indoor, the purple and orange ones, outdoor.
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:21 on August 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Already sounds a little too advanced for me. I really suck at the plant thing.
johnthewerewolf ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:06:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is I think the plant I've had for fucking FOREVER is a Jade plant. That thing is immortal!
Lenny88 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:19:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a jade plant that got a spider infestation. So obviously I had to burn it. And the rest of the house.
XxEggxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our Jade plant wouldn't stop dropping leaves until it had barely any green on it. Safe to say, it's dead now.
glberns ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:39:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Demonstrate Value
cluelesssquared ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:12:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jade plants aren't invisible. My child pruning the whole damn thing with two year old little plucking fingers and my mother watering it "because it's so big" every fucking day will kill it dead.
jeffhughes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:09:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Protip: Invisible plants are not nearly as good for impressing your friends.
cluelesssquared ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:40:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dropping those "n"s...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not 2meirl4meirl
xaxstriqs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oppan cottage style. Hmm.. I love it when they do that.
Icost1221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does remaining alive counts?
DarrSwan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My house and the one next door both have this plant growing in our front yard. Around the time we moved in a year and a half ago, my landlord hacked off a sizable chunk from one of them and threw it in the ice plant outside the house next door. That hacked off part is still alive. Wtf.
OhNoesRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:42 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost got inspired into getting my shit together. Almost.
twingirlsdaddy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kids are all the proof I need, I don't need additional responsibility dammit.
Magmatroid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:41:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: it's fake
PM_ME_YOUR_YAK ยท 1069 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking great
infinitesorrows ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:00:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly the same quote that Jeff Gurtzmann had about the "shooting sky trucks" experience.
melonlollicholypop ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works. The problem is you realize a few years in that you're having to work hard to keep up the illusion of your life. It's exhausting.
My BTDT advice: skip this step. Make friends that know you don't have your shit together. Stock the drinks you want to drink. Keep your toothbrush handy. As long as you've got good toilet paper, a clean hand towel and a sparkling toilet in the bathroom, the friends you have as a result of being real will be better friends than the ones you "achieve" by leading a magazine illusion lifestyle.
PM_ME_YOUR_YAK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't think I could commit to something like this in the long term. Some of the tips like keeping a plant and a clean toilet and random cushions are little improvements that are definitely viable though. I already have friends that would see straight through the bullshit but these minor things are pretty great.
Plus, the way the whole thing is written is excellent.
JayBanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just spend some time to learn some homemaking skills. Cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping and stocking arent terribly hard.
Didnt know how to properly clean a room till i was 17. Looked it up online.(declutter, wipe top to bottom, organize). Cleaned it spotless in an hour or two.
Id rather hang with a person with onions in their stockings than lemons in a bowl. Bitch, your lemons are loosing their aromatic compounds and moisture in that bowl, put them in a zip lock in your fridge. Alliums4lyfe.
Gamikatsu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:40:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct. This guy deserves a fucking award!
EggsDamuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutlely
EggsDamuss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutlely
DontFlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wrote the article, didn't you?
Declanhx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more tips, Some of this is quite bad in perspective
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:25 on September 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want more too. I wish they kept updating.
EggsDamuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutlely
EvilPigeon ยท 513 points ยท Posted at 17:30:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god we have so many types of tea.
_Lady_Deadpool_ ยท 410 points ยท Posted at 19:32:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, sleepy time, green tea, green tea with lemon, green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster, ginger with honey, ginger without honey, vanilla almond, white truffel, blueberry chamomile, vanilla walnut, constant comment and earl grey.
... I'll just make some sleepy time
Baron_Von_Badass ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 19:43:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure you made some of those up.
BananApocalypse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:01 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GhostofJeffGoldblum ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:49:40 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(both the list of teas and the response are quotes from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, which is a great film)
throninho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:19 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And an even greater comic book series
wttk ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in lesbians with this comment
_Lady_Deadpool_ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always in lesbians
pku31 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:12:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out?
mynameisfury ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't believe you were worried about me gaying up the place"
Gold_Puns_Girls ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:34:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bread makes you fat!?!
Transasarus_Rex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:55:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deadleg22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet you don't list black tea, which really is the tea people are interested in. Every time I order a fancy dancy fashion tea, I'm always disappointed.
CrayonFox ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:39:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
people know I like tea. Because of that, I have about 30 or 40 different kinds, received as gift from various people.
But I just end up drinking plain green tea anyway.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but still no english breakfast?
neBneT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:06 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you make some of those up?
hrakkari ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ol' Cosby special
btao ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:37:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck me, I might actually be a respectable individual, or just a tea junky...
Ok, I just counted and I have 34 different teas in my desk at work, which is only slightly more than I have at home. Ok, I might have a problem.
GiveMeACompliment ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:28:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sure you do, we both know what this guide says!
SkySeaSkySeaaaa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:05:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have lots of tea but I think the "shit together factor" is canceled out because I keep it in a lunch box that looks like Han Solo in carbonite.
futant462 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put them in jars. Two birds one stone.
ihopethisisvalid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We got mint, raspberry, earl grey, english breakfast...
Actually, I'll take head
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as many as the guide, but same here. Green, Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Peppermint, and a weird Winter Spice one that tastes better than expected.
hrakkari ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you run out just mix up words from Wes Anderson movie titles.
I got Grand Darjeeling, Aquatic Moonrise, Royal Budapest...
They call you out on it? No worries! Take that old used Lipton and reuse it! And to fool them, throw some random shit in there. Cinnamon or that unlabeled random powder in your cupboard. Are you a smoker? Ash works too! Chewing gum right now? Spit in the cup! A potted plant in the kitchen? A pinch of dirt! If they make a face, comment in the douchiest manner possible, "oh I guess this blend is too sophisticated for you. Lemme check for some Snapple."
NoApollonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or I could just tell the truth and offer them one of the 5-6 teas I do have.
PM_ME_CUPS_OF_TEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As you should have!
raginphoenixx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Show-off
Burgerkrieg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My gf actually does have that many types of tea...
Zippermann ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:53:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would I want my friends to think I have my shit together?
Them feeling sorry for me is the only reason they even talk to me.
nozinaroun ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:03:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me too, thanks.
zachar3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until they get to the point where you are lost cause and abandon you
Source: ๐
pizzaazzip ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 18:38:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this before! My favorites are:
Glass bottles for sparking and normal water - Looks fancy, feels fancy
Clean Bathroom - I mean...you need to do this anyway
Hardcover book - Of course I don't read
Fruit in a bowl - I can't justify a bunch of lemons but apples looks good so I do that instead
I have two potted plants
I actually don't know what wine I have
Need to step up my tea game, at least I have a teapot and kettle so I have that going for me
Edit: I should clarify I currently have 3 different types of tea (I know, amateaur hour). One is loose tea so I'm sure that counts for something.
KeisariFLANAGAN ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 19:01:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once you do all of this to "pretend" you have your shit together, you'll actually have your shit a lot more together than before.... I smell a trap
pizzaazzip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's for sure a mind over matter thing. I make sure to clean my apartment when I know people are coming over but if it's more impromptu the overall layout is still there and I can work around it and somehow people still seem impressed.
boywonderthunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:53 on October 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah fuck this workin hard and being organized shit
tbenoit94 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:52:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/tea would be happy to help with your tea game.
cereixa ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:09:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ummmm i'll just sweep a row of celestial seasonings off the shelf at walmart thank you
Spoogly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a tea nutcase, that's probably cheaper.
SirHawkwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, at least spend the extra dollar and go Twinings.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:48:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pizzaazzip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm starting to wonder if my setup is more on the alcoholic side and less on the sophisticated side. Sidenote, I just noticed instead of buying 2 glass bottles of sparkling water and two of regular water I instead bought 4 bottles of sparkling water. Fak.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pizzaazzip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
darkeyes13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I boil my water and have a glass jug sitting out. It's winter now so I don't have anything in the fridge, but I usually have a jug of water in the fridge in the summer.
Clean bathroom - Done once a fortnight. Done well, and wipe down your tapsets (or actively avoid getting too much water on them) after every time you use them, and it'll always be sparkly. Wipe down any (literal) shit you have stuck in your bowl after you take your dump - easier to clean now than when you chuck whatever bleach you use down the bowl when that shit's all crusty and stuck.
I have a box of oranges on my kitchen counter at the moment because 'tis the season. And I eat way more oranges than lemons.
I also do not know what wine I have because I don't need to buy any - friends who come over usually bring a bottle, and we don't actually finish them all (especially if 3 friends bring a bottle each during a single dinner), so it accumulates.
I make up for my lack of tea choices by having various drinks choices - honey lime/lemon, yuzu, Ribena, green tea... alcohol...
TheGlisten ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think if you do all that stuff, you dohave your shit together.
DownToFarm ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake it til you make it
BurtReynoldsEsquire ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:48:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I love when they call me Big Papa"
I need that pillow.
Nesman64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They used the masculine form "ils" instead of the feminine form. "I like it when the guys call me 'Big Papa.'"
BurtReynoldsEsquire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:09:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, "ils" can be use to refer directly to "the guys" but it more accuratelt refers to "they" in the general sense. if it meant to specify "the guys" they'd almost have to use "les hommes" instead.
Nesman64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this case, "Big Papa" probably wants to exclude men from the group. I mean, maybe not. I don't know how Big Papa swings, but that was the feeling I got.
BurtReynoldsEsquire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yah probably, which was another reason its probably just a colloquial they
HentaiFoeLyfe ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:46:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Careful with that last one. I would totally ask for the elderberry tea.
Plutoxx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:02:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried this, someone asked me about the book I had by my bedside and they knew the book and asked me how far into it I was and if "X revealed that secret to Y" yet. I stood there like: https://media.giphy.com/media/LRVnPYqM8DLag/giphy.gif
crackpot105 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:55:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just read one impressive looking classic and keep that on your nightstand whenever someone comes to visit. If they come to visit again, you can tell them that you're rereading it because you find it fascinating, or you've recently experienced something in life that made you relate to the characters in the book.
Also, reading takes free time, nobody has time for that. Try getting the audiobook and listening to that when you're on the road!
My bullshittery here is done.
NoApollonia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always best to lay one down you've at least read or seen the movie for. I'm an avid reader, but I tend to lay out whatever book seems the most impressive....and it differs depending on the person.
R_Philo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:15:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you offer me a big list of teas better be ready to actually get me something from it. That trick will get you found out.
NoApollonia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:43:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I'm going to pick something from the front of the list (or if one sounds especially interesting) due to not wanting to listen to the long list. So if all the person has is the ones at the end, they will just going to make themselves look foolish.
Caralizzie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:08:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got half way through this post before I realised I don't give a shit if people think I've got my shit together. It's still cool though.
pow3llmorgan ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:04:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister did all these things so she eventually tricked herself into thinking she had her shit together. Now has her shit together and working a well paying job in Zรผrich.
sarusongbird ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:28:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The tea sounds like a bad idea. If you mention their favorite tea, or even one that sounds neat to try, they're not forgetting it.
FemaleScientist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say the first ten reallllly quickly. If they pick an exotic one, maybe just make it for them (aka mix three different ones).
sarusongbird ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also realized: "Sorry, I'm apparently out of that. Is X ok?"
itsthemoney27 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:33:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha Xd so funny
EHerobrineE ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is good
Gavin1772 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:39:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "j'adore gland ils m'appellent big poppa" pillow is my favorite
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:15:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
quand. That is a brilliant pillow as long as your family doesn't speak french.
Gavin1772 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:15:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school french has failed me just like I failed it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did you think gland meant in this context?
My knowledge of french comes from 4 years of french classes that I passed because the teacher liked me. I really should relearn it since I'd like to know a second language and french is the easiest for me to learn.
Gavin1772 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was "when" there, but with you pointing it out I remembered quand
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. The cursive script is a bit weird and I had a bit of trouble deciphering it when I saw the pillow.
Gavin1772 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized my mistake and see the "qu" now :(
ibrakeforsquirrels ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:01:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite pillow, besides the giant donut pillows on my bed http://i.imgur.com/U5NqT2F.jpg
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gland means acorn and also refers to the head of a penis
S4ngu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At that point you just more or less have your shit together though.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:11:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Trackpad94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in an Italian restaurant and that's how I say it. How should I?
Jehch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:14:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is just cleverly titled, to trick you into getting your shit together.
Either way, 10/10.
Horricule ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:45:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a sec, this is from BuzzFeed? Wow they made actual content.
BananApocalypse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:35 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buzzfeed actually makes a lot of good content. But they haven't stopped their clickbait lists that steal everything.
nDextersLaboratory ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:30:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I just saved this for myself.
livemau5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. If I ever move out of my parents' basement this guide will come in handy.
SandMonsterSays ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My real laugh came from the photo of the Biggie quote in French on the pillows above #6.
I guess sometimes his words just hypnotize me.
xSARGEx117x ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:26:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THAT'S A PAPERBACK YOU DIRTY FUCKING LIAR
antaryon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah right.
Call your favourite pizza place and ask them to send your pizza partially cooked. Just enough so that it doesn't completely fall apart when you pick it out of the box. Pick up the ingredients that fell off the uncooked pizza and spread them on your kitchen counter. Pop the pizza in the oven when the guests call on the intercom and a few minutes after they arrive serve them your homecooked pizza you made from scratch.
Bleumoon_Selene ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:09:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just buy uncooked pizza dough and the ingredients you want. A little more work but more homemade too.
LetsGetRealWeird ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol but you're missing his point. It's about how sneaky and lazy you can be in order to pull off an artisan chef move.
Imeatbag ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:01:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Pre-packaged Pizza crust, jar of sauce, deli sliced pepperoni, pre sliced and pitted greek olives, and here is the most important part.. sliced package mozzarella cheese and shredded parmesan cheese. That pizza takes 3 minutes to put together and tastes like it came from a gourmet hipster pizza joint. It's the two cheeses, man. Its crazy. I made this for a girl I went out with and our 2nd date was her bringing over her friends to show off the amazing cook she was dating. Ended up dating one of her friends too afterwards. It's magic. Magic. And so very very lazy. Like cooking frozen shrimp, spinach, and a jar of coconut milk in the melt off water from the shrimp. Add some red chili like you have in the drawer from your delivery pizza and "oh my god you know how to cook Thai food! Let me take my panties off and get comfortable!"
630-592-8928 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you can make fettuccine alfredo, you can bang just about any white girl tbh
JimHadar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:18:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why stop there? Just mill flour yourself, add water and a pinch of salt, roll out a pizza base and then add your handmade sauce and ingredients you want. A little more work but even more homemade than that half-arsed shite you posted.
Bleumoon_Selene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're being sarcastic or not. But if you're not: this whole thread is all about taking something that normally requires a lot of work to be nice. Why is my one comment about uncooked pizza dough the thing that sets you off? I'm not talking about that tough flatbread stuff you buy in the shrink wrap. I'm saying you can sometimes buy actual real made from scratch dough from your supermarket deli/bakery or from a pizza shop. This whole thread is about being half assed. I mean, if my comment really twisted your knickers the guy above me must have you throwing throwing things about the room. Haha.
JimHadar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, i'm not the one who appears triggered. Please, provide another 12 sentences about how you don't care.
gaveedraseven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am surprised by how many of those I do before people come over. Especially the wine one... It's the only bottle in my house, of course I just bought it 20 minutes ago but let me pretend I just pulled it from the cellar...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gaveedraseven ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure. I just need to see what I have in the basement."
Runs across the street to Safeway.
migali ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annnd re-save.
Inventi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at 9. This plant is IMMORTAL
Ferocious_raptors ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want that throw pillow. "I love it when you call me big papa" in French - classy as hell
BananApocalypse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:03 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when they call me Big Papa
penultimateCroissant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to see an episode of Always Sunny where Chalrie attempts to follow this list
Dr_Moustachio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes that's called Actually Having your Shit Together
johnhang123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
buzzfeed at its finest
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:25:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried this. Boss came over for dinner. Am now CEO. Now what the fuck do I do?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Done! Thanks I owe you some new legs!
Nerfi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that throw pillow say "I love when his name is Big Poppa"?
BurtReynoldsEsquire ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:49:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I love when they call me Big Papa"
Rafratrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both hilarious and useful
hundertzwoelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do you have that much lemons?"
"Ehhhh, I read a guide on reddit on how to get my shit together."
poop_drunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a serious note, where can I get the biggie smalls throw pillow?
FNDtheredone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Find your biggest bowl. .. now fill it with lemons. The truest
Crazymage321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If they canโt see the dust, technically itโs not there."
So THAT is how dust works.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, I have a toothbrush i use as an ass dildo. not kidding. does that count?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This may be my new favourite quote.
LadyKnightAva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
casually saves gallery
imnotsurethatsnotok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We regularly serve what we call "shit together pudding" after dinner. Everyone thinks we're classy as fuck.
sanekats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"how to make your home feel like a display case in 15 easy steps"
CrackaDon_YT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
willy5665 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive immediately changed my outlook on life
echtav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best
browner87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm, only problem is the tea. I have friends that would pick a random one out of the middle, or try to pick something from one of those fake plant things I put up to look classy and boil it.
am_i_on_reddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious
superdooperuberpoopr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
Telandria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredible.
kurtix07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm your friend.
LordHussyPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:03:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what looks more together than the jars in that first pic? The neatly ordered pans on a nicely tiled wall that is CLEAN.
I know people who keep everything in jars because they're poor, but the place is cluttered as fuck because it's small, and it's dirty, because they don't have the time to keep it clean.
Use your space is better than jars.
born_here ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:39 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this years ago but forgot to save it. Now I'm saving your comment.
cokuspocus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:32 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try reddit tricking me into actually having my shit together!
isabelles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:11 on November 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no I literally have a jar of homemade lemon curd in my refrigerator, does that mean I have my shit together?
sabretoothportillo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much, friend
PoofyKoala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
RiposteandAgain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SAVED
PinheadLarry_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha this is fantastic, definitely using this in my new apartment
DeadlockRadium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have done some of these and they work 100%.
spireman1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fukken saved
Idolwildgaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh got this same thing saved
Nappeun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The jade plant is spot on! I have one and it keeps growing and growing without much care
lind_p ยท 4710 points ยท Posted at 13:30:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An all time classic - the potato guy
TIFU by enraging the parents of my girlfriend by pretending not to know what a potato is. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/
mcasper96 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 20:41:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear I had a guy imitating him at work the other day. I went up to a table and asked for their order and he asked for ribs. I asked what kind of potato he wanted and he goes "Potato?" So I explain (because a lot of people don't know the ribs come with a potato) and he's still confused so I say "You know... baked, fries, or even rice." And THAT'S when the realization hits.
ButterflyAttack ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people sadly probably don't associate fries with the vegetable they come from. You get kids who won't believe burgers once walked the field, crapping and mooing.
RhKawder ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:56:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? My burger craps?
ButterflyAttack ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably thought it was mustard. . .
BuhlakayRateef ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:35:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If your crap looks like mustard, I encourage you to consult a doctor immediately.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
legopika ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:36:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aha! See? Red. No, wait. Thats blood
PM-ME-UR-TACOMA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucks
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:01:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Potatoes are starches, not really vegetables.
jeffhughes ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:00:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird to ask about potato when one of the options isn't even made from potatoes. Why would you not ask something like, "what kind of side would you like?" or "would you like fries, rice, or baked potato on the side?"
mcasper96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The rice isn't that popular, tbh. Usually it goes something like, "What kind of potato would you like?" "What kind do you have?" "Baked, fries, chips, sidewalk fries, or, you can get rice if you want." The guy's confusion at the word potato caught me off guard.
ComaVN ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've eaten a lot, but I've never encountered rice potatoes.
mcasper96 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:43:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a 'potato' option: choice of fries, chips, baked potato, or wild rice.
Also, you can rice potatoes
RyanOnRyanAction ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:03:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of this 'potato option' concept. Is this a regional thing? I've lived in Illinois and Florida.
swagdaddy3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is here in central IL
mcasper96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I was just going to say I'm in NE Illinois, at the restaurant I work at most entrees come with the entree, mixed veg, and a potato option.
en_rov ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 17:03:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that was hands down the funniest thing I've ever read on Reddit. Thank you for bringing it up.
oopsishittedagain ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 20:34:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry I don't know how to link but I think you will also love the "TIFU by throwing my steak out a window"
jickdam ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 20:42:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the link in case /u/en_rov is feeling lazy.
lind_p ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:56:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another great story is saved! Haven't read that one before, thanks buddy.
Side note, how do you do that thing with links? Text as a link, if you get me. Sorry for potato english.
friscosjoke ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:02:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a potato?
adudeguyman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to die motherfucker
jickdam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:30:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[]()
You put the text inside of the [] and the link inside of the ()
Royrane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[[Put your text between brackets like that]](andthelinkbetweenparenthesis.com) and the link between parenthesis
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Royrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I know, it was to show him, but thanks for clarifying :)
Wintermuteson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you can just do a '\' before to escape it
Royrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to know, thanks!
en_rov ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:52:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was googling that, but you saved me the hassle. Thanks a lot!
Had another good laugh, reddit is awesome.
en_rov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/jickdam linked it. It was a great read as well
ReadReadReedRed ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:21:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best response there!
kotenshu_ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:53:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking lose it so hard at "I made a high pitched noise... 'tastes very strange'"
rivaltor_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:44:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just imagining a family staring at a man eating a potato as he raises his eyebrows in shock and goes 'hmMMMMMM tastes VERY STRANGE'
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also: the guy who convinced his housemate that they had bought scrambled eggs. Don't know how to link but the two stories are the funniest ever on here.
Dimsml ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:14:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3kzt6b/tifu_by_pranking_my_roommate_my_scrambling_all
This one?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:13:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg yes!!! I cried reading this!
Driftw00d420 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:10:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone know if OP ever followed with what ever happened? how long did the relationship last? is it still going on? did the girlfriends parents ever give in to believing you? Do you really know what a potato is?! so many unanswered questions!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, OP never delivered
kahurangi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:20:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's not exactly the same but there's a joke in an Andy Samberg show, Cuckoo, where a boyfriend meeting the parents for the first time claims to not know what a potato is. This guy's version is funnier but I still think he's riffing off the show.
BenovanStanchiano ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never understand why people believe that.
whiskeytab ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:57:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's also straight up ripped off the show Cuckoo
miauw62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it even matter, though? It's pretty hilarious anyway.
BenovanStanchiano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It just doesn't work for me but to each their own, of course.
miauw62 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's really hard to verify the truth of anything on the internet, and for many things it doesn't really matter whether it really happened or not, so I just enjoy the stories.
I guess they're not as fun if you can't suspend disbelief, though.
ASilentPartner ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:01:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a classic
dkiff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:42:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now let me tell you, I'd forgotten how fucking awesome this story was. Thank-you sir.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:45:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I laughed so hard I woke my roommate up.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:57:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I really have to ready this again? Last time I laughed so hard it literally started to hurt.
Fine, go on then...
azjayjohn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is why i reddit, this post made me log in everyday
oldie101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this made my day
EepeesJ1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I remember this. I upvoted it when it was posted. Memories.
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That top comment.
riddus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh...
earthlings_all ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, scrolling down I read a comment that a guy read the post in an Irish accent and my dumb ass scrolled back up and did the same - hilarious
TheRealMickey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giggled the whole time reading that.
Buttercup_Barantheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great one. An all time fave of mine as well.
jimmyneutron555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the best thing I've ever seen on Reddit
RossmoRossmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:06 on July 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favourite Reddit post of all time
thisplacesucks- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:16 on August 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a fucking idiot.
dudenessman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this saved too haha
kungfukitE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My personal fav too
Semiperishable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing
Dkerwood01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No updates by the OP. I need to know!
BlueBattleHawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
ChocoQuinoa ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My life is potato
InVultusSolis ยท 5411 points ยท Posted at 13:15:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This response to a thread about what you'd do if a nuclear weapon hit 5km away:
krymsonkyng ยท 881 points ยท Posted at 16:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was written extremely well. Got a serious Infinite Jest vibe out of it.
SirHawkwind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0/10 needs more footnotes
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:17:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All it's missing is the threat of what happens when one must "hear the squeak."
zekneegrows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me think of Hunter S Thompson
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like David Wallace wrote a novel after he sold Suck It.
SadGhoster87 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 19:23:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if the Russians were invading through Canada could we start calling him Vladimir Poutine?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how his last name is spelled in French.
molotok_c_518 ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius. To make it more communist...
Dawidko1200 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*ะบะธะปะพะผะตััะพะฒ
ManWithKeyboard ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:10:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you please link the thread? Looks like an interesting read
InVultusSolis ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:03:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread
The comment itself
ManWithKeyboard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
Franks2000inchTV ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could still be the Russians or Chinese. A nuclear sub could have snuck its way up the St Lawrence Seaway into the Great Lakes!
We should probably check Lake Ontario, now that I think about it.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 15:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ILoveMeSomePickles ยท 218 points ยท Posted at 16:57:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but the Great Lakes are lakes, not seas.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/expectedloophole
TheDatim ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:00:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please someone make this exist
awildseal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:38:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shittyaskscience
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:49:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gets to the point that one could argue that those lakes have transcended the point of lakedom and have become Freshwater Seas.
ILoveMeSomePickles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:02:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think freshwater seas are a thing, oceanographically.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:11:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, technically no. But it's the spirit that counts.
Inuttei ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine, the Great Lakes are lakes, not seas
jellyfishdenovo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:00:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Tis only what they want you to think.
eviktion ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:59:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Military does a lot of stuff in, over, and around Erie and Ontario, I think they've got a pretty good idea of any submersibles out there.
Franks2000inchTV ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:05:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh....
*takes off snorkel and flippers*
Good...
Hiei2k7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:52:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would cause more radiation:
A bomb
Frank's 2000-inch TV, from the CRT days.
Franks2000inchTV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At what distance?
Hiei2k7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 mile
Franks2000inchTV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:33:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About even.
zoomer296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How bad it is depends on how many people come and see.
ILoveMeSomePickles ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:57:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but nobody knows what's at the bottom of Superior.
eviktion ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:16:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1333 ft deep at its deepest and over 31,000 miles2
yogi89 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:23:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
31,000 mi 2
eviktion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:26:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, couldn't find out how to do it on mobile
Nico_is_not_a_god ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mobile makes it easier to use the superscript 2 glyph instead of Reddit ^ formatting. miยฒ vs mi2
Tavern_Knight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh cool
gun-nut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said it can't be launched from a sub
itsjeffreybaby ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:40:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost it at this point
InVultusSolis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:01:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's a phrase that 's made its way into my common vocabulary. When someone asks me to convert between units (because for some reason I'm the guy everyone asks to do math problems), I call metric "communist units".
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:07:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And imperial "Freedom Units"
XVsw5AFz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:19:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We always say Liberty vs Commie units.
ilpazzo12 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:40:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a European, I have to ask: why do you guys, aka the "home of the free" nation make pride of using the same system the brits invented, which was the empire you guys have fought to get this freedom? That doesn't make any sense.
Also the meter was invented in the French revolution which was fueled by the same libertarian ideals the US where. So how is the imperial system the freedom system?
XVsw5AFz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:48:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the whole Liberty vs Commie units is a joke about how antiquated the US is. I tend to use metric in most things I design and build. Metric is much easier to work with in almost all cases.
ilpazzo12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that makes perfect sense, still is something I would never know without being there. Also Americans joking on how antiquated is the US is funny.
dfworkta1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the same system used by the British. They use the Imperial System and we use the US Customary System.
We fought for the freedom to use whatever system we want, and we'll be damned if we're gonna borrow one from some commie frogs.
theboyontrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:00 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NASA uses commie units. So does most of the US scientific community. Let that sink in.
dfworkta1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:26 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NASA uses a mix of liberty units and hippie-surrender units. And the scientific community may use dirty commie units at work, but when we go home we draw a long hot bath with gallons and gallons of freedom water. And bubbles, of course.
ilpazzo12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:17 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wut.
gtalley10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The random aboot thrown in cracked me up, too.
DigitalFireStorm ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:17:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marion in sw VA was a priority target during the Cold War due to the manufacturing of aircraft parts which general dynamics still does today.
Unease_Bison ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BLAME CANADA
xx_cctv94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:15:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BLAME CANADA!!!!
BaconyLeviathan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, not the casserole.
timbitxd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reading from canada...
homer1948 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Who squealed.
zedoktar ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:36:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically the only shitty third world dictatorship we canucks buy used weapons from is America.
InVultusSolis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well keep it in your pants, Canada! We're watching you!
Overun31 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Canadian, this is bloody awesome.
Kerbalnaught1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except Canada has no nuclear arms
InVultusSolis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:05:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you read?? They purchased it with oil shale money from some Eastern European arms dealer.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:50:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officially yes. We also officially don't have several Doomsday weapons in orbit
YoungHotStalin69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officialy
homer1948 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember that thanksgiving is in October now.
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The metric system is communist units? Wtf, every country on the planet except three officially use it, lol
InVultusSolis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that includes all communist countries, does it not? And as I recall, the other two who aren't us aren't normally known for having their shit together.
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And all the free countries excluding 'Merica
Harvester_of_Sorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So none of them?
ButterflyAttack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's wonderful, you should credit the writer of you know who it is!
InVultusSolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I linked to the thread.
downtherabbithole- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comrade was using klicks here which are actually sweet communist kilometres
InVultusSolis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, bro. Those are American clicks, which are just the units in whatever map you happen to be using.
Beast-Blood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MAADcitykid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like an excerpt from a very well written novel
Skunkman-funk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great story, very well written.
How much of a factor is the emp though, when it comes to nuclear strikes ? I thought I read long ago that the emp is generated by the initial gamma ray burst of the blast interaction with the earth's magnetic field, and that it depended heavily on the location and altitude of the blast how significant the emp would be.
Destroyer_SkyTDM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's at war with Canada? They're too damn polite They would probably surrender and invite you over to watch a hockey match
/s
iamclarkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:50 on August 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are NO hockey matches... Only Hockey Games! You would be outed as a spy right away!
Cosmic-Engine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like a link to the thread so that I can upvote the original response if possible - not to mention see the rest of the responses! Excellent find.
InVultusSolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I posted it on another comment.
imheretobust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this so much
y2k2r2d2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They feared Donald Trump presidency!
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it was only a fear back then. How prescient this story was...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence why it said they purchased it from an eastern European arms dealer. Man I hope nobody's life depends on your reading comprehension.
InVultusSolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this scenario they bought one from a shady Eastern European arms dealer.
hod_m_b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the guy mentioning that the problem would be swept north of the Ohio. I live just south of there. Makes me feel protected.
_Lady_Deadpool_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The nuclear option gets the nuclear option
sjhock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this to the tune of "He's on the British side in Georgia, he's tryin' to keep the colonies in line."
tswisha12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is even better if you imagine the protagonist of your favorite action movie saying it
zoomer296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird Al fucking told us we needed to do a preemptive strike on them.
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird Al is never not right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:11 on September 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah freedom boner
RayMaN139 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love this movie!!
InVultusSolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As would I. It'd be like Red Dawn, but with Canadians.
obviousoctopus ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:05:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL anyone not using the weird fraction based imperial units is a commie. I mean just look at this and compare it to this. How Americans succeed in engineering anything that works is beyond me.
koopcl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:08:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
woosh
InVultusSolis ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:27:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raise your hand if your country has been to the moon... We must be doing something right.
ilpazzo12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:49:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raise your hand if you lost to Vietnamese farmers...
Yeah totally done right.
walruskingmike ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:42:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a nation that was supplied with state-of-the-art weapons, aircraft, and support from the USSR and China. It's sad when people perpetuate this myth. It does a disservice to the histories of all of the nations involved in that war. And it shows who hasn't bothered to pick up a history book on the subject.
ilpazzo12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:25:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you are saying that you lost because someone filled up the Vietnam with weapons based on the metric system? For how I see it my point still stands.
walruskingmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. My point was that you don't understand the topic, so stop spreading misinformation simply because you wanted a witty reply to what was satire in the first place.
ilpazzo12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what. You seriously got "Raise your hand if you lost to Vietnamese farmers..." as a serious post. Oh my.
obviousoctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, despite doing it in an unnecessarily hard way.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:11:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliance.
DollarsAnonymous ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada isn't even a nuclear power.
iamclarkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:22 on August 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For us that is a sense of pride.. It's Canada does not have nuclear weapons. Because, we do not need them.
DollarsAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:10 on August 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying his story doesn't really make sense lol.
[deleted] ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 18:38:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/rVBGnOn.gifv this fucking kills me everytime.
33timeemit33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:57:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hardest and longest i laughed at anything on line.
quasiphase ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:44:46 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please explain this
k9centipede ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:41:44 on July 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex could do that. The eye that stays looking at the camera was a lazy eye that couldn't move.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:32 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wish i knew man.
1moreSatNight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:36 on November 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The blonde is LeLe Pons. Sheโs an Instagram comedian so the โitโs stuckโ part is a gag.
quasiphase ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:58 on November 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean how they can actually do that!
mountainy ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 13:22:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/TfiEObb.png Gonna make that chili one day I tell you one day...
PizzaCouponz ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:49:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not actually a very spicy chili in case anybody is wondering. Certainly reasonable to eat at home.
ATomatoAmI ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:35:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add a tablespoon of Trinidad mortuga flakes to it to turn it into a real party, then.
402266 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just like the image. It made me smile.
Jack_Ryker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:30:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's up with Flash's face..
h2ogie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:55:04 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how Superman is just sittin' there looking like he's taking huge rips of his vape
ZacUAX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/XBpEu-mZYrw
MrFahrenkite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:37:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who da fuck has 3 different types of chili powder
ATomatoAmI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For more complex flavors?
[deleted] ยท 6114 points ยท Posted at 13:45:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW. Cracks me up every time! http://i.imgur.com/MWmBUzt.jpg
EDIT: this is officially my top rated comment, thanks grandma!
BrutalJones ยท 1804 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man that's so embarrassing. That poor lady
PouponMacaque ยท 2768 points ยท Posted at 18:38:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you were a grandma, and you had to accidentally show your tits to all your friends and family... wouldn't it be those tits?
Rodidimus ยท 2071 points ยท Posted at 20:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the most impressive grandma tits i have ever seen.
Edit: My most upvoted comment is about grandma tits. Thank you reddit!
Koebi ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there many more grandma tits you have seen and remember well enough to compare them to?
Rodidimus ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:20:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive seen a few. Theres only so many teen and milf videos on pornhub. Eventually you gotta start watching the GILF videos.
CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the natural order, of course
Rodidimus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With that logic, next is... necrophilia?
Edit: misspelled word
CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:52:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer porn of religious entities and various gods, its next in line after that
cyrilspaceman ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 23:58:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paramedic here. You never truly forget 95 year old grandma sag. It's just one of the things that haunts you now, just like gross diabetic feet.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:07:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the smell of c dif.
Cheesy_Potatoes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or shit caked testicles of a hairy old man
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the cavi-wipe shower you had to take afterwards, but you have to do it in the squad because you're enroute to your 5th call of the day and you have 17 hours on shift still.
abexaem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's c dif
Farado ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:49:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that's a rapper.
WishfulSleeper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:12:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope to god it is one day.
Edit: and look, it's even found in the colon, not a bad way for a rapper to spin dat shit...
bieberhole82 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:35:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clostridium Difficile is a very deadly bacteria that often causes death in older individuals. It's typically found in the colon.
Koebi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:26:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that you mention it, I did spend half a year doing civil service in an elderly care facility. ... I almost forgot the blue waffles ๐ญ
ARealBillsFan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jesus effin christ!
Im_Grizzzly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:34:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've explored my fair share of the interwebs and these are glorious compared to the horrific tits I've seen.
imnotcaligula ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they are factory installed. Not after market accessory.
Rodidimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They dont make 'em like they used to. Back in my day...
MacMacfire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought I'd have to read this...
Rodidimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are very welcome.
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:59:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should be as proud of those tits as she is of her grandkid.
StonedApeGoku ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:46:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, grandma tits can still be good tits
daedone ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who is 37 and a grandma
Farler ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:07:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is not a good thing
dj_destroyer ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 20:57:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ya how is she even a grandma... Ain't nobody caring about Charlie's first day of school but she certainly has a couple reasons to be proud.
Farler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is not a good thing.
Edit:on mobile, clicked reply on wrong comment
shadekiller0 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 18:49:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so right
cvc34 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 21:10:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gilf
z500 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:44:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
giggity
digsy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:29:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this comment in Louis CK's voice.
Schwagbert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect.
bs484 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, talk about some sweater kittens
riddus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right!?
bigd5783 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:00:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She did have a nice pair of tits though.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:28:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EdgarChipperson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I needed another reddit sub to immerse myself in lmao
CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG ยท 561 points ยท Posted at 19:02:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grandmas got some nice titties tho
visceralhate ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:34:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chill Rick!
SSJ_Kakarot ยท 401 points ยท Posted at 18:10:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Rick, telling it like it is!
metalman74 ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 19:11:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rick's comment is what got me cry laughing.
TripleDet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:56:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this as Morty saying it
I am pleased
stiffspaghetti ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 21:00:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"can i just delete my Facebook"
vegidio ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 21:03:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another classic: http://imgur.com/a/Dy53b
supermyduper ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 21:22:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
knownaim ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:13:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Niiiice
WinterholdMage ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 22:22:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relationship Status: Engaged.
I wonder if this Michael dude is her fiance.
e8ghtmileshigh ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:52:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who knows, with her questionable computer skills. I'm just concencered about these people's privacy seeing that not all the names are blacked out.
fuckyourcouchplease ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:36:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Jeff. My man.
michaelbalo_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:06:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I totally forgot that Facebook used to look like this
CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:35:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got a feeling that message wasn't for the dude she was getting engaged to either :(
mcpwnface ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its so great everyone was so supportive.
HandsomeBobb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:08:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Jeff
SerLemonOfGalam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
everyone has their name partially hidden except tiffany.
Picsonly25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg that is awesome.
Impriv4te ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:01:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this real? Surely it can't be, you have to specifically choose a picture which it then shows you before you upload no? Please let this be real :')
Angry_Magpie ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 20:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well true, but then again - my grandmother repeatedly wrote entire emails in the subject line, so you never know with old folk
extremely_handsome ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:32:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out /r/oldpeoplefacebook and look over the top posts of all time. So many pages of hilarity. I have tears in my eyes from laughing everytime I read it.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:45:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
extremely_handsome ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:00:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whup De Doo!
Zokrar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DISCUSTING
TheGanjanator ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 21:55:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't see any grandkids, just a big pair of titties lol" lol
mrsuns10 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:53:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grandma make me horny
FuryQuaker ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:57:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pure gold!... And a nice pair of tits.
temalyen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:54:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sigh. unzips
InformalProof ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She looks like Clair Underwood
bbs1980 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was priceless
Alconasier ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:25:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"19 likes"
TheChanceWhoSaysNi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:17:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wicktwo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:18:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Charlie.
xwearethefandomx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:30:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/OopsDidntMeanTo
Gr1mreaper86 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terrible mistake but at least she has nice cans. /shrug
pito889 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can someone fuck that up?
The_Real_DerekFoster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/forwardsfromgrandma
99redballewns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I haven't laughed this hard in so long!
feluto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one hot grandma
iTomWright ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably NSFW - I opened it in work.
mjonat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This are some tig ol' bitties!
EepeesJ1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit hahahaha
Picsonly25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow hilarious and awful.
wardrich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' Rick's comment almost made me piss myself.
chocalicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did she break up with him?
Aleblanco1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
G I L F
Lamalover41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That made me laugh out LOUD man that is hysterical
Prof_Boni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I love that it has 19 likes. This is hilarious!
humanysta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:53 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you come to the conclusion it's ok to share that?
thisplacesucks- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:34 on August 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit your gramma his hot. I'd blow a load on those things.
MrFancyPant ยท 550 points ยท Posted at 17:19:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The perspective of the Jenny in Forest Gump
This is way late, but it needs to be said.
Jenny from Forrest Gump. She gets so much goddamn flak from people who have seen the movie. It's like they tuned out completely at the normal human experience just because they think Forrest is adorable.
Jenny didn't think she was in love with Forrest because she thought she was taking advantage of him the same way her father molested her.
For fucks sake, Forrest is retarded. Jenny, out of everyone who's ever met him, knows this best of all. She knows that her closest friend and only loved one is a fucking idiot. Imagine that. Imagine for one second that the only person who was always kind to you was someone who didn't know any better. Everyone in the world who knew about your father looked at you either as a victim or as something disgusting, but that one man doesn't.
And it's because he's retarded.
Jenny doesn't think that way at the start. As a kid, she just thinks he's different and is just glad to have a friend. But as she gets older, especially as a teenager, she realizes that her closest friend will never mature like she does. He loves her like he would anything and everything else, so long as its nice or cuddly, like a pet or a sibling, at least in her mind. Her father treated her like shit, and there was no way in hell others didn't do the same when they found out she was molested. She would have wanted to feel loved.
That's where she gets the abusive relationship crap. She wants so much to be loved that she doesn't understand that they are taking advantage of her. She thinks that as long as they aren't forcing her to have sex, that's normal. Getting beat on, pressured to drug addiction, and dragged around into whatever dangerously extreme political bands they're into is just fine, as long as they don't rape her. That's why she's so shocked when Forrest defends her from harm. Why would anyone do that if what they're doing to her is normal?
She keeps leaving Forrest behind because she convinces herself that he doesn't really love her. She convinces herself that his affections are shallow, since he would never be able to really understand love either. I mean really, how many of you honestly think someone who is that mentally challenged could understand the complexities and nuances of love? There's no way they could. What they have is something simple, and Jenny doesn't think that could be real.
And even IF she believed he could, even IF she got out of that abusive cycle, she knows better. FFS, if that scene with Forrest and her in her college dormroom had the genders reversed, people would be so fucking uncomfortable about that scene because it'd be inching so close to rape. Jenny knows that. She realizes that. That is why she shuts off her feelings for Forrest, above any other reasons to stay away: she thinks she is molesting him. She saw how uncomfortable he was when she did that and thought holy fuck, what the hell am I doing?
Can you imagine how twisted you must feel after realizing in that moment that you turned into the father who molested you? How the fuck can you love yourself after doing that to your best friend, when you know what that's like? Would you ever let yourself get close to them again if you really cared about them?
So Jenny kept running away. Every time Forrest gets close and saves her, she runs off before she falters. She won't let herself get near him, and as the movie goes on, she fails a little more each time. First she blows him off after the strip club, telling him to stay away. Then she walks with him in DC, but still leaves with her boyfriend. Then she stays with him in his house and finally sleeps with him, after that one critical moment.
When he tells her he does know what love is, and asks her why she doesn't love him.
She finally gives in and does sleep with him, but can you imagine thinking afterwards? Would you, in her shoes, with absolute and unwavering certainty, think you did the right thing? Or would you be afraid that you did exactly what you had been avoiding because you do actually care that much about him?
So she runs away. She hides her child from him, because she thinks he shouldn't have to worry or pay for something he can't handle. She thinks she's wronged him, and the least she could do is set things right by raising a good child, without dragging him down.
And then she gets sick. Doctors don't know what it is, but she's going to die. Her kid is only a few years old. Can you imagine struggling with that decision to tell your victim that they have a kid and now they have to take care of it because you're going to die? That's what she struggles with before coming to terms with the fact that she's happy with him, and he's happy with her, and that's what love actually is. It's something simple and unconditional, and even Forrest can understand it.
It takes her her whole goddamn life to figure out that love is just that simple, and she dies months afterwards. She realized she had been running away from what made her happy, and it isn't wrong, and she only gets so much time together before it's over.
And instead of realizing that narrative even exists in the story, people just bitch about how Jenny is such a slut, but she won't even love the only person who cares about her. Jenny always loved Forrest, during the whole fucking movie. She loved him so much, she thought she was taking advantage of him and ran away for his sake. She didn't realize she was wrong until it was almost too late.
Fuck, that's depressing.
EDIT: Obligatory gushing, but actually I just wanted to add a TL;DR:
TL;DR: Jenny thought she was molesting Forrest because he couldn't understand what love is, so she either suppressed her feelings or ran away.
captaingleyr ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:14:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you find this?
That's incredibly deep. I always thought of Jenny as a much more real character than most other people I've watched it with for a lot of these reasons, but I never really went through the whole movie from her perspective and seeing just how much sense it makes.
EDIT: gonna have to watch it again
MrFancyPant ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:33:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
right in here... yea I learned to watch movie/show from other PoV and if it's well written its a really intriguing and fun way to rewatch a movie.
Bigfourth ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:43:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The write up in Jenny's character is incredible but going through the comments some one tipped the guy who wrote that a bitcoin. Value at the time was about 20 bucks. If he save that bit coin it's currently worth 2400 dollars.
iRedditWhenIShit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:42 on November 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$10k now. 400% increase in 154 days. Crazy!
A_Booger_In_The_Hand ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:08:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
Lastredditname ยท 11375 points ยท Posted at 13:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an amazing way to explain love. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/29961a/z/ciir198
I'm not "mansplaining" or trying to discount how you feel - I'm offering a perspective that might help. Believe me - I know what it's like to dislike your body. I got zapped in Iraq and I've got some unsightly scars, and I sometimes struggle to accept that I'll never be as physically capable as I used to be. Fucking sucks sometimes.
Anyway...I wish I could let you into a man's head as he's falling in love with a woman. It's a process that's so alien, so strange, that I'm afraid you've got to experience it to believe it. But it's as real as death and taxes....
Sometimes, a guy will meet a gal and think nothing of it. Maybe she's a co-worker, classmate, or his buddy's friend. She gets mentally categorized as "Female, acquaintance, feelings neutral". Then, he gets to know her better. If they mesh personality-wise, something fascinating happens in the man's mind. He starts to notice things about her appearance - pleasant things. It starts small - one day he realizes he likes looking at the curve of her nose, or where her ear lobe meets her face.
It's nothing he can put his finger on or describe, really...just that looking at that part of her makes him feel good. He starts wanting to do that more. Then, he notices an expression she makes - could be her genuine belly-laugh, or the way she furrows her brow in concern - and he gets a little flutter in his chest.
They stay friendly for awhile, get to know each other better.
Then, one day, she hugs him goodbye....and he can't stop thinking about it. He plays it over and over in his head - the feel of her breasts through two shirts, her arms around his back, her smell...he finds these little mental movies of her playing unbidden when he's driving somewhere, squeezing out his other usual daydreams.
Shortly thereafter, the guy realizes that whenever he looks at this woman, he feels good. He likes her lines, her curves, her sounds and smells...
It's like she's gradually turned from a black-and-white photo into a 3D color movie with surround-sound - a perfect movie that makes him feel good. He starts wondering what he can do to keep her around, to make her happy. He realizes that he likes looking at her more than any other human being in the world.
To him, she is perfect and beautiful.
A man in love with a woman doesn't see her objectively. There is a filter there, or some kind of participatory illusion. He does not see who you see in the mirror. He is seeing someone beautiful and perfect and sublime, and it's one of the most powerful things in his life.
Go watch a happy old couple that's been married for decades. Watch the man's eyes. Sure, he may appreciate some young woman's ass in yoga pants or whatever...but watch his eyes when he's looking at his spouse. If you're paying close enough attention, you can almost see the filter click on when his gaze settles on her. In that moment, he's not seeing the same frumpy empty-nester that you or I see - he's seeing something wonderful.
No shit. If I hadn't lived this stuff, I wouldn't believe it either. But it's true.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 3740 points ยท Posted at 16:45:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey!
Thank you for thinking enough of this to pull it out and show people. You've put a smile on my face and a spring in my step.
Yooden-Vranx ยท 2169 points ยท Posted at 16:56:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
by reading that I just figured out that I'm in love with someone. Fuck?
SavageHenry0311 ยท 2025 points ยท Posted at 17:15:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody said basically the same thing to me when this post went up originally. We talked a little about when you feel this "change" come over you, it's often accompanied by a sense of dread or trepidation or fear.
This might help. It's one of my replies to him during our conversation:
Oh, dude, I know that fear well. I've been blown up, stabbed, and had my ass kicked more than once.
Yet no pain I've ever experienced is as bad as getting your heart stomped on. It is indescribable. You would give or do almost anything to make it stop, even just for an hour...
It seems almost suicidal to allow another fallible, imperfect human being to have that much power over you, especially when you know what could happen.
You know what, though?
If the worst happens, you just gut it out and fucking deal. Use it as fuel to make yourself a better man. Then, when the wounds close, you make better judgments and smarter decisions about the next girl - and there will be a Next Girl if this one goes away. There's always another woman out there. Some are worse...but some are better, if you're up for it.
Good luck, man. I hope that, whatever happens, you make this event a positive one.
theghostofme ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 20:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, it's one of those things where, when you're not actively in love or feeling that way for another person, you think to yourself, "Man, where was my mind when that was going on?" and then, when it does happen again, all you can think is, "Welp, here we go again."
SavageHenry0311 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 20:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha!
The inflection of the "Welp" is determined by how stupid the guy thinks he's going to act in the future....
craftman53 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:40:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I grow up I wish to be only half of the man you are
SavageHenry0311 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you end up to be twice the man I am, because....well, I'm kind of an idiot. I'd never wish my life on anyone.
You don't write this kind of stuff unless you think about it a lot. You don't think about it a lot unless you've made a bunch of painful mistakes, and you're trying not to repeat them.
And if someone writes very well about the subject - you can draw your own conclusions...
craftman53 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:58:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone views their life objectively and usually worse in comparison to others. I can tell you, the way you talk, and the way you present yourself at least is something I wish I could do.
ninklo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:59:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amen, /u/SavageHenry0311 sounds like a wise man
TheHemogoblin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upper half or lower half? Do you picture yourself more SavageMan0311 or more CraftHenry53? Hrmmm...
craftman53 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
definitely CraftHenry53
ConqueefStador ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 23:14:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last year of college a lot of the work we were doing was project based and you needed a partner. I had taken some time off from school so I was coming back into a group a people I didn't know, so me and this girl were paired together.
She was kind of a plain Jane and stuck out a bit as kind of the odd girl out from the rest of the group. "Great" I thought, "a number of cute girls in the group and I get stuck with the plain one who has no friends."
It's not that people didn't like her, she just didn't fit really, and after a bit it wasn't had to see why. She didn't put much effort into her appearance, jeans and t-shirt all the time. She was a bit tom-boyish. She lacked in social graces, this girl was not afraid to be alarming upfront or honest or a bit rude or crass. She was very dry, and wholly unsentimental. To be honest she drove me crazy the first couple of months.
After a while though she grew on me because once I was honest with myself I was exactly like her, I just didn't have the courage to be as blunt and honest about who I was.
Then one day we're working and she's twirling her short hair and trying to chew on it unsuccessfully and all of the sudden everything changes. That fucking prism shift of an entirely different perspective. All those "plain" features were now natural, and stark. The other girls in our group paled by comparison. All of the sudden this friend I've been working with for a few months is the only thing my mind can focus on.
Sadly though there's no happy ending. She was dating someone at the time, but I don't think that would have made a difference anyway. Though our relationship didn't change I think she noticed when I did and didn't want anything to do with it. Like I said she was rather unsentimental. We worked together, went out together, spent 20-40 hours a week together for a year and when we graduated and were saying good bye I saw no hint of attachment, no change of temperament, forget romantic feelings, it was like she didn't have any feelings for me at all, not even as like a "category 2" friend. I can't say it didn't hurt but I never blamed her for it. She wasn't cold. She loved people in her life, she just didn't feel that way about me, even a little bit, even in platonic way. And that's who she was, and that's part of what I think I might have fallen in love with.
Maybe it wasn't love, maybe just a hard infatuation, but any other time I've been with a girl it felt forced, like I was always pretending to be someone I wasn't. I watch too many movies, I was like some fake Disney or John Huges version of a boyfriend. I faked it because I didn't know the difference between intimacy and love. With this girl I couldn't help myself though, I didn't even like her to begin with and than one day all of the sudden I think I love her.
I may never find it again but thanks to her I at least know what I'm looking for, someone who I can be my honest, imperfect self with.
a_bounced_czech ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for writing the original post...sums up how my GF and I got together perfectly.
MrSneller ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:39:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I forgot I wasn't on Twitter and was looking for the Follow button. You've got a way with words, man.
Alouitious ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:37:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just got out of what I've now learned was an emotionally abusive relationship with someone unwilling to help themselves, and thus unwilling to be there for me.
I think I just got closure the other day, and this message helped solidify that suspicion tenfold.
So thank you.
JohnFkinStamos ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:55:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're an incredibly insightful man, Henry.
Cheers
SavageHenry0311 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:56:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you very much for the compliment.
Insight comes from thinking about your (or preferably others!) mistakes. I've...uh...made a lot of mistakes.
JohnFkinStamos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been learning more and more lately that (unfortunately) the best way to improve yourself is to screw everything up. Still the way you articulate it is very well done.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:17:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I'd take it quite that far - I mean, getting caught for starting dumpster fires all over your city could be construed as "screwing everything up", but I doubt there's a lot of personal development in that.
Here's another way to think about it:
There's a Voltaire quote that goes,"Let's explore. If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we'll find something new."
Basically, don't let fear keep you from going places and trying stuff out. You'll make plenty of mistakes along the way.
My girlfriend has that quote framed and hanging over her toilet, incidentally. No kidding - she really does. One day I'm gonna work up the balls to ask her....why that quote, in that place?
kuddlykitten ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:10:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are words that I needed to hear. Thank you so much.
smokemonkey97 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:43:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made me teary.
CyngulateCortex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:47:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you write a book? Seriously, you write a 100 page book: What love is and how to deal, and I'll fork out $35 to buy it hard cover. Thanks for all these posts
Brenthalomue ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really needed this today, thank you.
penguinfox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:47:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really appreciate this follow-up. Reading your original post just about made me cry. I've been in love with someone for years who doesn't feel the same way, and I think about that a lot. I need to remember that there are other people out there, and open myself to the possibility of meeting the Next One.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll never believe it until it happens...but there's always a Next One.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:14:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how i get men to grasp why domestic abuse victims stay
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SavageHenry0311 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say go No Contact.
If that fails, condition yourself - every time you feel it, do something positive for yourself (50 burpees or study for 20 mins or whatever). Try and meet someone else, also.
No contact is the best, though.
gmiltenb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:48:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro... You're giving me chills...
DamascusRose ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:14:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i know you wrote that thing about love 3 years ago, but that was incredible. it felt like such a personal and honest description of what love is, i have no doubt that it's the best description of love I have ever heard. this is coming from a person who hasn't felt those feeling in a while and doesn't think about it anymore. you've reminded me of life's joys & given me hope for the future.
Everton_11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, especially the part about using it as fuel, is so true. I'd gotten my heart comprehensively stomped on in the fall, a month or so before exams that I was really worried about. I took my anger at the girl, my fears and anxieties over the tests, and some raw determination to get over it, and smashed the hell out of those exams. I wish I could have bottled that combination. It was one hell of a fuel.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fugginay!
As we say in EMS,"Strong Work!"
WatdeeKhrap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:52:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem like a really awesome dude, I'm glad there are people like you out there to brighten others' days
ext23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:05:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this.
Lightning-n-Lemons ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:59:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this made my heart feel tight. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
RedShirtBrowncoat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:18:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I needed that. Would have been better a few weeks ago, but it still helps now. Thanks.
Cabotju ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:15:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you are wise as hell. Make a book or a blog and sign me up. Man I could have used advice like yours the past 9 years
Kirioko ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By reading that, I don't think I've ever really been in love with anyone... I'm still in college so it's probably not all that bad, but I'm still worried I guess.
nopethis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No thats good actually, means she is still out there and you are not tied to someone that you don't feel that way about.
Kirioko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if I'm not able to feel that way about someone? Then I'll just have to resort to being alone.
OtherKindofMermaid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:33:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you've felt love before, right? Maybe not romantic love, but love for family, friends, pets, something, right?
Kirioko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I guess. Sometimes I can feel really apathetic, and I haven't had the greatest relationship with my family so that is a pretty difficult comparison right there. I feel really selfish with my relationships with people, I have a hard time empathizing too so that probably plays a factor. I like my friends and maybe even love them, but it feels really transient... like I could let go of that feeling if I needed to.
I really have a hard time connecting with pets/little kids/etc., basically people I can't find common mental ground with.
P.S. What's the other kind of mermaid?
Desecration15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worry not! You'll find that special someone all in due time my friend!
Kirioko ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just afraid that I'm not capable of feeling that way. All my friends have all had crushes, relationships, etc. but I've not had so much as a celebrity crush or even a fictional character.
computeraddict ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Celebrity crushes and fictional characters don't have shit on the girl standing in front of you. It's also possible that you just haven't found anyone you like. Some people are more particular than others, and if your sample size is small, the odds of having come across a girl that can do this to you is small.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:39:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
computeraddict ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me the number of people I run into is fairly decent, but I've only become attracted to girls I've spent a lot of time around. The two of us being different people, it of course might be different for you, but that's how it works for me. So the better question, for someone that works like me, would be how many people that match your looks standards do you get to know as anything better than passing acquaintances?
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good point, I guess not many. I'm not attracted to any of my close friends, though. I don't understand what a looks standard is, I am not sure if I really have a standard.
computeraddict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:50:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks standard is just someone that is not repellent to you with how they look/carry themselves/bathe etc. The at-a-glance acceptability test.
For me it usually hits within the first few months of knowing someone if it's going to hit. But again, not everyone is the same and your mileage may vary. And for me that lightning has only struck a very few times in my life: once in elementary, once in middle school, once in college, and once a few years after. I only dated one of them, and there have been other girls I've dated that weren't one of those few. So, y'know, don't sweat it that you haven't had the obsessive fascination style attraction to anyone.
Heavenly3Way ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:31:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give it more time, you'll meet someone when you're least expecting.
crystalace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that was quite similar to you even though he had relationships etc. Everytime he had a girlfriend he never wanted to do stuff with her and talked about how anoying it was. But then he met an older women and was completely different. Maybe you are just not really attracted to the guys in your life (or guys at all).
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it could be, my social circle is limited to mostly college students but I have a few older acquaintances as well.
Bunslow ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:30:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whelp now I can say I've seen "Fuck?" as a one word sentence-question.... man this language can be weird
Loverboy_91 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By reading that I'm not sure if I really am :(
Schwagbert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/2meirl4meirl
Legend13CNS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the next step a lot of times, but only if you're both ready and into it.
Iggyhopper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the way the world goes is it not?
Quicksword66938 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:54:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have an upvote for the use of the word fuck with a question mark. Beautiful.
bodagetbobsaget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
dropkickhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that person consents.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be 19.95
Daaronp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're lucky enough to get the opportunity, yes, by all means.
oaka23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hopefully
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck*
evilf23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fizikz3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. funny how a single question mark makes that so hilarious to me.
BushidoBrownIsHere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:49:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKKK NO NOT AGAIN
Turbo_MechE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:46:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, one isn't bad. Try three
ChrisGo123 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:21:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best I can do to show you how grateful I am is giving you that funny gold badge, couldn't do it at the time I've seen your comment (I was looking for it a few months ago, but I couldn't find it), because I was broke, never thought of sharing the story with anyone, but I've already shed some tears about it, and getting it out might actually help with everything.
At the time I read your comment I was very attracted to a girl. I've been friends with her more than a year at the time, there wasn't a day I wasn't thinking of her at least once. Most people didn't find her attractive at all, to me she was perfect - that cute smirk whenever she'd see something funny, a tiny mole she has right above her lips - she hated it but damn it is so cute, always with great manicure, because she cares about it a lot, and of course her beautiful smell. Can't compare it to anything or anyone, but I never could get enough of it whenever we were saying our hellos and goodbyes while hugging.
After reading your comment I've finally got the courage to ask her out, I did it, and she said she's been waiting for it for a while, she was thinking about doing it herself in a few days. Of course she agreed to go on a date. It was all wonderful, holding hands, finally having a great time together knowing what we really wanted from each other.
A few days later we went out again. An hour into a date and our lovely walk in the park we've met my douchey friends. I knew they weren't the best people, but at that time I knew - "I'm never going to speak with them again". They made fun of both of us, insulted both of me, then asked if I wanted to hang out with them instead of her. Now, I'm rather a shy guy, introvert, keep most of my emotions inside me no matter if I'm sad, angry or happy. It was the loudest "get the fuck out of my face" I've ever shouted at someone in my life. We've literally never spoke again, ever.
Thankfully, the lovely girl was really grateful I've done it all for her, scared of the whole situation. After a while carried on with our date like it's never happened. I thought that the best time of my life was a few days earlier, but it was that exact moment, when I took her home and we kissed goodbye. That's the top of the world for me.
To sum it up - thanks to that /u/SavageHenry0311 comment, I've found out that girls can actually like me, got the courage to ask someone out for the first time, and got rid of a bunch of douches from my life. I'm still fairly young but up to this time, that's where I've peaked.
I've been with the girl for over 2 and a half years. I still think about her almost every day, all the small details like that cute smirk come up everyday as well, sadly we're not together anymore, but I'd rather keep the causes to myself. I don't really know if I'm ever going to find anyone as perfect as she is to me, I hope so, but it's been really dark and sad lately, and thinking it all through, it's great to tell someone the story. I don't know if it's rational, probably not, but reading your comment actually made my day, even though I'm thinking of her again, it's a bit different than it was yesterday, and the day before.
Got to say you might be my hero the second time in my life, you've changed it once before for the better, kind stranger, hope you're going to have a great day, week, year and life. It wasn't said enough today yet, and I have to say that again - YOU'RE AWESOME. You've made me a better person, you've made my life better than it'd be without asking out the girl, and I'm truly grateful for that. I hope that one day they would let us order a beer or another favorite drink for a person through reddit, because I definitely owe you more than one.
Edit: some mistakes corrected
SavageHenry0311 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:31:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, man - YOU'RE AWESOME!
I just wrote a bunch of words. YOU gave them life!
If you do your job, you will find love again. It won't be a carbon copy, because you'll have changed - but it'll be what you need, when you need it.
"Wait...what job?" you say..."I've already got one of those!"
Well, see...you don't get paid for this job. You didn't apply, weren't interviewed, and receive no pay for your work. Can't get fired, either. In most senses of the word, this recent "employment" you happened upon is extremely unfair. It's like the draft, but with less guns and yelling!
Luckily, this job's duties are fairly simple. In fact, there are only two of them:
Job Duty #1: You are to keep permanent, negative consequences from entering your life.
Job Duty #2: You will work on making yourself the best version of you.
The first one means that you're not allowed to get a DUI, or develop an addiction, or pick up an assault charge by punching some dude in the face. That's pretty obvious stuff, but it needs to be said.
It also contains some more subtle responsibilities, like being mindful of your dignity and pride. Don't devolve into a mewling, writhing animal, flinching from pain and grasping always for pleasure and security. Conduct yourself in a manner Future You will be proud of. You're going to think of this girl, this time in your life, this whole experience in future years. Often, what feels good now leads to unbidden cringes and thunderous remonstrations booming through your noggin later.
This gets in the way of Job Duty #2. The best version of you is not one that carries around a staggering load of shame stemming from behavior that seems (in retrospect) easy to control.
Oh, you'll fuck up - believe me. Just make sure your fuckups are the kind that pop momentarily into your head while showering - not the kind that force you to move, or change careers, or fear ever meeting certain people again.
Job Duty #2 is defined entirely by you. Your performance evaluations will be written by this one dude named Future You. I hear that guy is demanding, but fair. I also heard he doesn't miss much, so I doubt you should take shortcuts or try and bullshit him. He also becomes enraged at procrastination.
So, that's it! That's your new permanent job!
Better get to it.
Cabotju ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:21:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write a blog. And then collect those posts into a book because Goddamnit you are a wise son of a gun and us millennials need that shit
TheTerribleMoose ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:04:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is almost as beautiful as the OP.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful , you will find someone like that again, not the same but better
PolitburoOrGtfo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My GF of 2 almost 3 years (I know it's not ages but I'm 18 now so it feels like I've been with her forever since it was my younger years) just broke up with me after telling me she doesn't love me anymore and I now realize everything you said is exactly true, and god damnit it hurts to know that I won't be able to experience that with her again. I'm happy I saw your post, it at least brought back some good memories to cheer me up while I'm feeling a bit down :)
SavageHenry0311 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:42:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just got a similar comment from another guy, so I'll repeat what I posted to him. Hopefully it helps - although it won't feel like help if it works as intended:
If you do your job, you will find love again. It won't be a carbon copy, because you'll have changed - but it'll be what you need, when you need it.
"Wait...what job?" you say..."I've already got one of those!"
Well, see...you don't get paid for this job. You didn't apply, weren't interviewed, and receive no pay for your work. Can't get fired, either. In most senses of the word, this recent "employment" you happened upon is extremely unfair. It's like the draft, but with less guns and yelling!
Luckily, this job's duties are fairly simple. In fact, there are only two of them:
Job Duty #1: You are to keep permanent, negative consequences from entering your life.
Job Duty #2: You will work on making yourself the best version of you.
The first one means that you're not allowed to get a DUI, or develop an addiction, or pick up an assault charge by punching some dude in the face. That's pretty obvious stuff, but it needs to be said.
It also contains some more subtle responsibilities, like being mindful of your dignity and pride. Don't devolve into a mewling, writhing animal, flinching from pain and grasping always for pleasure and security. Conduct yourself in a manner Future You will be proud of. You're going to think of this girl, this time in your life, this whole experience in future years. Often, what feels good now leads to unbidden cringes and thunderous remonstrations booming through your noggin later.
This gets in the way of Job Duty #2. The best version of you is not one that carries around a staggering load of shame stemming from behavior that seems (in retrospect) easy to control.
Oh, you'll fuck up - believe me. Just make sure your fuckups are the kind that pop momentarily into your head while showering - not the kind that force you to move, or change careers, or fear ever meeting certain people again.
Job Duty #2 is defined entirely by you. Your performance evaluations will be written by this one dude named Future You. I hear that guy is demanding, but fair. I also heard he doesn't miss much, so I doubt you should take shortcuts or try and bullshit him. He also becomes enraged at procrastination.
So, that's it! That's your new permanent job!
Better get to it.
thund3rstruck ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:57:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was beautifully written - thanks for it. I'm gonna decompress for a second over a recent experience that your post helps me see more clearly. Tl;dr: I think a girl and I fell for each other, am not sure, will find out in a few days. I have been in several relationships, some that lasted several years, but this feels different.
This woman is actually a friend of my ex (we broke up two years ago) that I've known since before I met my ex, and she's passing through town soon. A few weeks ago, I was driving through her hometown and let her know in advance. She invited me to stay with her and grab dinner during my big ass road trip, and I happily accepted. I hadn't seen her in years, she'd offered for me to visit if I was ever passing through, and it was a good stopping point since she was in the process of moving. The plan was I'd show up, help her pack up her stuff and store it in her parents' garage, then stay in her family home for the night before heading up the road. Perfect plan.
And man, something felt different when I saw her. We have always been able to instantly connect and pick up right where we left off, but this time it was different in a good way. I've always thought she was pretty, but she seemed just a little prettier. I've always known she is brilliant, but this time she seemed even sharper. Even though I know she's not perfect - no one is - she seemed a little closer to it than before.
We hung out all day and, when it was time for dinner, she said she'd picked out a great place but I probably shouldn't wear shorts and a t-shirt (I'd been helping her move and was kind of dirty) so I went to the guest bedroom to change in to one of two nice outfits I'd brought along for the trip. Nothing too fancy - just a nice pair of khakis and a button-up, but I clean up okay. I was changed and presentable in about 5 minutes, so I went and sat downstairs and waited and chatted with her parents. I didn't realize it, but she took awhile to get ready. After about 20 minutes she comes down stairs wearing a beautiful sun dress, her hair looks perfect, she's wearing this delicate perfume that still haunts me three weeks later, and she is just glowing. Her parents make a bemused face that says "this is not normal" and told us to go have fun.
We talked for hours, shared a bottle of wine, walked around town, and then sat in her driveway to talk after so we wouldn't disturb her kind parents that were letting this guy they'd never met stay the night. The whole time she was doing the thing where she turns in the car seat so she can look straight at me and, though I don't know for sure, it made me think we were on the same page: we really want this to be a thing, to steal a kiss from the other person or even just a slight brush of the hand, but don't know how to do it. There were a few awkward breaks in the conversation where we'd stop and just look at one another, and then one of us would break it with a new topic. We eventually decided we should go inside so we slowly made our way to the front door. When we got inside, we both went in to quiet mode so we wouldn't disturb her parents or their dog. We looked each other dead in the eyes and she gave me the best hug I have ever had in my entire life. Seriously, I didn't think hugs could be this good. They usually feel like a rip off or that you're being shortchanged, but not this one. It was a full embrace: my arm around the small of her back, her face gently tucked in to my neck, the works. And it was only about 5 seconds long. We broke apart, said goodnight, and went to our respective rooms. The next day, we both woke up and said we didn't sleep well. I don't know about for her, but for me it's because I was thinking about her and wishing this would somehow work.
We grabbed breakfast the next morning, talked for hours again, and then said goodbye. I thought about her the rest of the trip and, even when I'm trying to think about something else - such as a date a friend set me up on, work, etc. - she just pops back up in my mind. I know the odds of her being "the one" are super small, that I might just be imagining things, that her friendship with my ex will get in the way, or that it won't happen for a million other reasons. But man, she is so stuck in my head.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:54:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad told me something years ago, when I was consumed with anger at my lot, and taking it out on some very nice (also very unfortunate) women:
I was explaining/complaining to him about why I'd dumped the girl I'd brought over for Thanksgiving dinner. He shook his head and said:
"Boy, you better knock this shit off. If you're lucky, you might fall in love 6 or 7 times in your life. If you're really lucky, you'll get loved back twice. Don't fuck it up."
My dad is a funny guy. He'll banter with you all day on innumerable subjects, or sit in companionable silence. Every once in awhile, though, he'll lean forward, look you in the eyes, and inject these little truth-viruses into your mind - these little philosophies or principles that illuminate The Universe.
I bet my dad would tell you not to fuck this one up.
Good luck, man! I'll be sending positive vibes out into The Universe for you.
thund3rstruck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:03 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, a small followup - she did indeed come through town on her road trip and we hung out with a group of my friends Sunday night and, after detecting that she might be a little interested, I invited her over for coffee and to hang out before she continued on her trip the next morning. She came over, we chatted for hours, and we were both sad when it was time for her to go. Nothing really happened but the positive, what-are-we-doing tension, was there the entire time. Also, another hug and another intoxicating whiff of that delicate perfume. I swear it's drugs. I'm going to visit her in a few weeks to grab dinner and we'll go from there.
The plot twist to this whole thing is that I dated someone who remains a close friend of hers for 3 years, but we broke up 2 years ago when the now ex-gf had been abusing my generosity and generally taken advantage of my flexibility/commitment to the relationship. She also hated the girl I'm interested in now, despite them being friends, which made me mad because it seemed really unfair (see: extreme jealousy issues that I am now accidentally confirming).
The current girl and I have remained friends ever since and have always wanted to meet up and, when we finally did, it led to some chemistry that I outlined above. Even though my ex-gf has always been mean to her and a bad friend in general, she's still worried about making her mad and the resulting fall out. I respect that - drama isn't fun, especially the kind that has the potential to spiral in to friend wars. But, I've also learned over the last few years that love and feelings rarely pop up in some perfect and tidy way. They bring complications and you have to decide if they're worth it. So, I'm going to try to give her space to weigh if it's worth it or not. I think she's leaning towards yes, but I get that this is a scary decision for a friend group that has remained totally intact since college. They've had no conflict and this would certainly introduce some. I'm hoping she decides it's worth it and I'm going to do my best to show that it would be without putting the pressure on too hard.
Anyways, thought I'd give you an update because what you wrote was pretty meaningful to me. Never really felt moved in any way by internet words before, so thanks. Here's to being patient and knowing when it's time to show my cards.
Edited for clarity in a few spots.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:34 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome, man!
Oof - the friend drama...I wonder how many women have talked themselves out of amazing relationships because of some "friend" (really an aquaintence that exists mostly on social media)...
Thanks for the update, and congratulations!
devlifedotnet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:41:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to explain this concept to someone recently and got nowhere near the eloquence of your post... i've never seen it broken down so well.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the compliment!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Clapaludio ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it hasn't happened yet. I thought like that before, but you know what? One day a girl stepped into my life and surprisingly she thought all that stuff about me. I got to know her better and I felt the same after some time... we then told each other this and it got even more powerful.
Love is strange. You'll never know who you are going to love or who falls in love with you. There may be big differences, you may think they are out of your league or whatever... but when you feel it, go ahead. I was very lucky to have got a second chance with this girl after I fucked up a date, others may not have another occasion. Don't scare yourself by thinking you'll never be loved: you will. Probably when you least expect it.
Edit: grammar
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I want this so much. I also want long term compatibility too
Clapaludio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll happen. And don't worry if the first one is not "long term": The only thing you should care about is having great fun.
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:35 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having fun, is not the most important thing for me, it's someone that I can be there from them and vice versa, 5/10/15yrs from now.
My background is such that the idea of having a bunch of short term highly intense things that don't go anywhere is out of the question for me :(
pokexchespin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wrote it beautifully, and put the feelings I could never explain in words perfectly.
crazeecatladee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just wanted to let you know that I saved this years ago as well - so thank you, you've made an impact on many lives :)
LAND0KARDASHIAN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is never the reaction to a dick pic.
SavageHenry0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself.
FriendlyForestWitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for typing out this beautiful piece of art. You're awesome!
There were so many beautiful memories flashing through my mind while reading it.
The last years have been hard for us, but every little thing you described fits perfectly. Even just watching him wake up and inhaling his first coffee like a zombie looks like the most adorable thing in the world to me.
Lastredditname ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's I that needs to thank you! Its how my husband convinced me that he truly loved me despite all my flaws.
NicolasCageIsMyHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said
SmurfSlurpee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:48 on July 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' Rah
Myfourcats1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh.
Cabotju ยท 1252 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this is hella accurate
dandangles ยท 422 points ยท Posted at 15:59:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, this helped me explain why I fell for so many of my female friends, even if it's just for a little bit. Spot on.
SCDarkSoul ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 18:09:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I find that as I become more familiar with any particular girl I just generally find them more attractive over time, even if upon first meeting them I may have thought otherwise.
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:15:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you fall for someone's personality everything about them becomes more beautiful
Cynapse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mermaid effect!: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mermaid%20effect
arhanv ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:23:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shits lit fam
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I write a treatise to a treatise I won't get that many fake points
Smoldero ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For men and women, regardless of sexual orientation or gender, I believe we all experience this when falling in love with someone special.
Nyetbyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ridiculously so.
VGxMurderer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you from Cali?
Cabotju ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:41:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British, I like the lingo of Americanisms though
-Skinwalker- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh maybe. Doesn't cover the guy who thinks a girl is hot, chats her up, asks her out, they hit it off, and eventually get married.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to understanding granularity
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 17:08:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? It's infatuation with a time-jump at the end that skips a lot of what love is: patient, kind, etc.
Edit - ITT: kids, movie watchers.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:38:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what kind of experiences you've had, but from what I've seen it accelerates fast once it gets to the point where you really like multiple things about someone.
Edit: A word
SamaMaBich ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the infatuation bit was the only part that was meant to be explained in the post, not the entirety of what love is. This being because the OP didn't feel pretty and believed most men won't find her attractive.
veggiter ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of agree with you. It seems like it's moving from liking someone's personality to finding them physically attractive. From my experience it goes the other way.
You are attracted to them physically, you get to know them and like them, and over time you might begin to love who they are as a person.
I do think there are certain truths in the comment, but I think they are more describing how attraction is not an objective experience rather than what love is.
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 20:14:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PseudoTaken ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:38:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's because he is a man .. so he can't speak for women. He never said that women doesn't experience it, you know. Chill, dude
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:24:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to downvote you so hard my fingers bleed.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 825 points ยท Posted at 16:06:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for showing this to me. I had to share this with my SO. She's always dwelling on the fact that I wasn't in love with her from the first day we met. I want to remind her that even though the love wasn't immediate, it is eternal.
BCSCB ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 17:46:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love at first sight is a myth. Love grows. How can you love someone you don't know?
buncatfarms ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 18:02:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this. i actually relate this to my child. that first night in the hospital and even before - i didn't feel that love everyone said they did. that overwhelming love. but i wasn't surprised. it takes me a while to love someone. and eventually i did feel that overwhelming love for this baby but not right away. and i kind of feel heartless when i see posts of people saying like " we love you so much and we haven't even met you " or " i am so in love and over the moon ". and i know its facebook but still.. i do question why i am not quick to love like others especially something that i grew and birthed.
Jimmy_Smith ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:31:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because everyone is different and that is alright. Some people are really quick and love everything even when they don't know something. Others distrust others until proven otherwise. And then there's a whole grey area in between.
It sucks to feel bad about not immediately loving your own kid, but what really matters is you loved him soon enough and are happy together now.
buncatfarms ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I appreciate that. Thankfully my husband is the same way and he made me feel better about my lack of immediate love. Am pregnant again and I feel a little more excitement knowing that I will eventually grow to love this baby tremendously. Just takes a while to get to know each other :)
zoomer296 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:25:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person." ~ A kids show, believe it or not.
soliloki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:57:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never can relate with people who subscribe to that clichรฉ of falling in love at first sight. Nah, you're lusting at first sight, not loving.
F_Klyka ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can still be love, no less strong, but much more fragile.
There are many ways to love. Don't dismiss certain kinds of love just because you haven't experienced them.
BCSCB ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:59:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love requires trust and companionship. I wouldn't call falling for someone in a day love, I'd call it infatuation; you don't understand them yet. Love is deeper. Love is understanding someone and caring for them anyway.
F_Klyka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:32:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're still stuck in your definition based on your experience of love. Love requires this, love is that. Your love, sure. But not every love is like yours.
Joshington024 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:59:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, I've crushed on many girls, but I'd say I've only really loved one, and I didn't see her passed just a friend for many months. It was only after I started to really notice her did things start to spiral out of control.
Also, this clip from Louie, while maybe morbid and depressing, does a good job explaining how powerful real love is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQTbkEeCTeM&list=FLrE5_BOZtGNgLCNCqwwRKOg&index=9
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That show really turned out to be much more than I expected, but I was glad for it!
Joshington024 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:19:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing. Louis CK is my favorite comedian, and I love how similar the skits in the show are to his stand up bits. He even turns bits into scenes in the show and he pulls it off perfectly (take notes, John Mulaney). But my favorite moments are when it gets real like this, and when he tries out for the Late Night gig.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Louis ck is a lot older and has a lot more sadness than John Mulaney
cozycave ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:32:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
soliloki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(:
Taroso ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect, your wife should be happy it wasn't Love at First Sight. Such a thing is deceiving: purely focusing on physical beauty might fool us into thinking someone is more virtuous than they are.
I once told my wife that after meeting her, I immediately felt like we would be best friends for the rest of our lives. Not because we had so much in common (we don't) or because we had one specific moment of spark. It was something else. We felt effortlessly happy in each other's company, from Day One. That's all we knew. That said, she was absolutely gorgeous, and I saw that for a split second. But for the first time, that didn't even matter because at the end of that day, she was the best person I'd ever met.
Azuchannnn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:28:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm like your SO. The fact that I liked my now bf first before he even started to notice me makes me self-conscious. Am I originally unattractive and unwanted? Is he now just going with the flow? Does he really want me? Insecurity is a nasty stuff.
Maybe she feels like this too. This reddit is definitely worth sharing, it made me feel better! I hope she will too :D Reassure, hug, kiss her. You're a great guy. I wish you guys long happy relationship โค
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I think she is in the exact same boat as you! I think she's the catch in our relationship, but she seems to like me, so I must be lucky!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:09:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is in love from the first moment they meet, and it never ends well for the ones who think they were.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:07:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tell her that all the time!
OtherKindofMermaid ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And she just keeps harping on it? Yeesh. She needs to get over it.
Jess067 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:30:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg it's almost like she's a human being with flaws and insecurities, better file for divorce, delete Facebook, and hit the gym!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:57:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like the queen
Butternades ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:05:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just sent it to mine(she has self image issues) and I explained to her that I don't care what you look like even though you're beautiful looking, your being is radiant and beautiful and is the greatest thing in the universe
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:33:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wholesome.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
W H O L E S O M E
H
O
L
E
S
O
M
E
urshitlol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely eternal... for now
GuidedBySteven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, sometimes it's better to be slightly realistic. Life doesn't always go the way you want it to, heh. Heh heh.
the_wiley_fish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it's better not to as well. If you spend too much time focusing on the future it takes away from the present. When you integrate happiness in the present, over time, it really adds up :)
TARDISboy ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 16:55:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ man i never got my permission slip signed for this feels trip
theghostofme ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:03:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/YazQBPG.gifv
Reddit teaches me the best phrases. Fuck, this is hilarious.
Zomaarwat ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:36:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's beautiful. Where'd you find it?
Lastredditname ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:43:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just edited my post. Figured out how to tag the link. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/29961a/z/ciir198
Draav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also if you put a > in front of the part you quotes it will make it obvious it's a quote:
or else you lose the quote
If you use RES, you can click the 'source' button next to permalink to see what I'm talking about.
EpicMooseTime ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:48:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently was broken up by my SO, and this runs so true. I questioned myself when dating her whether I was in love or was I just happy with the convenience of the relationship. But reading that I ticked off all the checklists and realised why it's hurt so much to move on.
She was far from perfect. Scars from a past abusive relationship, personal defects from mistakes she made in her past and tattoos that she was embarrassed about from her rebellious days and medical problems by the list that were our of her control.
What i would say is that these were the foundations of what made her unique and special to me. I've grown to believe that beauty you see radiates from the cracks of imperfection and that's what I saw and fell for.
Amygdaland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a great line.
acondie13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:(
EpicMooseTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha nah its fine. All good things end some time right
jtlcr777 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:18:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dammit man that was beautiful. Thanks for sharing that comment.
daftne ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I told my fiance my favorite time of day is anytime I pick him up from work. He is always scowling when he hasn't seen me yet, and then as soon as he locks in on my sights, he smiles and his whole face lights up.
Thanks for sharing, op!
BordomBeThyName ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:34:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awwwwwwww
NicePretender ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:32:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it, I knew there was something about her.
a_bounced_czech ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:28:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might be my new favorite thing on reddit. Thanks for sharing this...it pretty much describes how me and my GF fell in love...except about the boob part. I noticed those bad boys right away.
Enginerdad ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:28:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, I need to go hug my wife...
monsterlynn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:38:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am 47 female with 47 male that sees me as 14 when he was 15 every day. The eye filter is real as fuck because I KNOW I'm not that cute little girl any more. I've aged and don't look anything like what I used to plus I have all my adulting baggage and terrible habits to bring to the table but none of it seems to matter to him.
I had a friend back in the day (we've been out of touch for going on a decade now) that used to say "men are very forgiving". It's true, at least for the vast majority. What she said comes back to me a lot. I don't mean it in a manipulative way, and she didn't either. There's something in the heart of a man that never really lets go, that always sees the best possible incarnation of a person when he's in love. It can be awful, and it can be awesome. It can be torturous, and it can be wonderful. It just depends on the people involved.
Cabotju ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men are very forgiving, I'll remember that. It's true as well
MyNameIsQuason ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The truest words I've heard in years
Von243 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:31:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so fucking accurate I'm gonna go cry.
Source: I'm a guy, it's unrequited.
Black-Falcon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:18:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely cause a โoh dear god why did I break up with herโ response from me. Feels. I still miss her.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:43:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
''Oh dear god why didn't I act on it'' for me here.
WhisperingOak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:53:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it may be because I'm a little bitch, but damn that's the first time i've read something and actually had tears flow.
ShackledColt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:06:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh...So that's what it is...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:44:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounded odd to me as well. It's not for everyone.
kiiroitoriii ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:54:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, i found myself reading this the other day when i was in a rut. It really brought back some of my faith in humanity
hitdrumhard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:31:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife still acts like I am lying when I tell her how beautiful she is. But I know she believes me by the way her cheeks flush and he eyes shine like stars when I say it, because it's sincere.
TristiePixie ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My question is, how do women experience love? How is it different from this?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:27:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I experience it like this too, honestly.
TL;DR: not different imo also fuck I ranted
At first he's a nobody; then I just have to touch his hair because it's so soft, then I have to hug him because he's warm and smells nice, then I have to say something funny to make him laugh because his smile is beautiful, his face is perfect and seeing it get happier upon seeing me sets my mind on fire.
I start thinking about him all the time, the way he walks or how catching his laugh is or how unique it sounds, like the call of a mystical bird. I'm staring at him nonstop whenever I see him because his every mannerism seems perfectly him. I find a excuse to play with his hand or his hair or his face or his sleeve, or just get close enough to smell him or see every detail of his face because I have to see everything, to know everything because the birthmark on his thumb knuckle is the best thing and the way his eyebrows furrow when he makes a social blunder breaks my heart and sends my mind into a spiral: he's not allowed to be sad, what dares make him sad, I must hold him and hear him and hug him and comfort him and protect his smile and bring it back to life
I can't stop talking to him and listening to his thoughts and small conversations; interactions become the most important thing because there's a excitement like no other living in my heart. Every day I am the most excited about the fact that he exists. Every hug is a little handful of infinity, an instant knock into meditation because I feel safe and safe-keeping, the strength of his spine and the warmth of his armpits and the way his chin rests on my head and I can feel the softness of the skin underneath; every time we talk it is an adventure into wonderland because he is the best storyteller and his voice takes on intonations and his hands move when he talks and he seems so happy, and I'm happy because he's happy
The more I learn to see what he's feeling, the more recursive it gets. I begin to worry that he doesn't like me back. I annoy my friends because I cannot stop talking about him, all the little things that make him happy or sad when he's in the room, not topics but microexpressions, the implicit meanings of small gestures like smiling while passing something or putting a hand upon my shoulder, and I watch them all for a hint- just a hint- but doubt sets in because his personality is just stunning, and his talents are endless but what if one of them is friendliness, what if all these things I do because I can't not he does because he must?
So I vacillate, I fib to get closer to him, I stare at his face, hold his hand, listen to my pulse speed up and feel my own excitement and the magnetic way my eyes are pulled to his smile, the depth of his eyes, the little snowflake pattern within them-
then I see it. Perhaps it's a dilation of the pupil or a smile just when he sees me or one of the little body cues I've learnt to associate with him being anxious (how dare something make him anxious I must know I must hold him to make it better I must hug him and feel the tension leave his body and feel his neck loosen and watch the birthmarks on his ears as they lower and Have! Him! Be! Content! And! Happy!) and that glorious smile comes back, lights the world, or most likely it's all of those, building up in a list that becomes undeniable, unfalsifiable with its length- he thinks of me different
I get in his face, I feel the texture of his skin and trace the lines of his cheeks and stop, for an instant, hiding how much his wellbeing and his every detail and the way his cheeks stand out when he's happy and how much I simply love his cheeks, love his teeth, love the way he can barely sit still, love listening to him talk and him exist, love the feeling of his breath on my skin, love the sincerity of his hugs, love the way I can see the child he used to be in who he is now, what I've gathered from his photos and his stories-
then we kiss and my world explodes.
Even if we break up, when we break up, I can still see it. It stops being sexually attractive, but I still see the beauty of his person and unconditionally support the spirit of becoming that hides within his heart, wanting to hold the child that he was/is inside in my arms because I still know what he's feeling when I see him. I know him well enough, and I want to see him feel happy because he matters. He is human and because of it, he matters, and he showed me why it's great to see the world that way; his existance changed my life, even if close coexistance didn't work out.
EDIT: Not to say I'm the be all end all of womanhood; you do you.
TristiePixie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:20:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me, or how deeply it conveys my own feelings. It's truly beautiful. Enjoy your gold. I'll submit this to /r/bestof too.
Some background, I'm a trans women and the hormones I take have radically altered my brain to the point of no longer existentially being the same existential entity/experience as the person before hormones. The person before me felt the male version of love described up top, but my own feelings are so different that those hazily detached and emotionally inaccessible memories I've struggle to understand what I've been feeling. To know my brain is female and I'm experiencing what it truly feels to be in love or infatuated means the world to me. It's a deep confirmation that I am real and exist when so many mean spirited, unempathetic, and detached from actual science would deny what I know to be true; that I am a woman. Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez, you had to do the whole emotional growing up thing all in one go, with little to no previous childhood reference. That's like, Hardest Difficulty. Congrats!
I don't know if I deserve all that but I'm glad I helped. Best of luck with that one.
crystalace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck if I coudve read your rant about 3 years ago maybe I wouldnt have been such an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh no :(
what happened? If you feel like telling.
cheer_up_bot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is a picture of a kitten to cheer you up
crystalace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She basically did a lot of stuff you described like touching my hair, stealing my scarf/hat, getting close etc. I realized it at the time aswell but after we kissed she was visibly shaken and just left. I thought of it as something negative and started to over think stuff and when she tried to get in contact with me I was kinda unresponsive to her hints. She probably thought it didnt mean much to me and moved on.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh geez, that really sucks man. Best of luck in the future.
crystalace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Ill be alright :)
CKHTLA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOW that was beautiful to read. I'm exactly the same. :)
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful. Thinking about reposting this in 5 years and crediting you :)
Sockmonkee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:36 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me to a T.
Thank you
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:28:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Count_Cuckenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:19 on July 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how it is for me, too, as a man. I can't believe that dumb-ass sexist tripe got 3k upvotes for saying that men fall in love with "lines and curves". What a load of crap.
usernumber36 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so conditional
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually I'd experience a lot of conflict emotionally because my love for them conflicted with my judgement of them as a person.
Unlimited-D ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, I was deciding whether or not to read this since my now ex girlfriend and I are slowly growing apart. I decided to just read it anyways and woah! This is so extremely accurate, I am impressed by the guy who wrote this for expressing this feeling so marvelously well! I expected to feel sad but actually it made me aware of what is actually happening during love as I could never put it into words.
9874123987456321 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:13:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a love-hate relationship with love like this. If I ever meet somebody I can grow up with, I'd be so satisfying to feel love like this requited, but it sucks when it's not being answered.
johyongil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm this how I fell in love with my wife.
bi_nomial ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:15:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This can also be a dangerous situation; when you cannot see your partner objectively you are open to fall into obvious traps that you could have seen before. As a guy (or gal), you should always be aware of when you are falling for somebody. Make sure that you read the situation first and know that it isn't going to screw you in the end. Its hard but, it'll save your ass many times
glasscoffeepress ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a drag queen who quit being trans and changed his appearance almost completely and I never cared. He gained weight a little and quit shaving, cut his hair short and basically went from girl to boy in a few months. I didn't like the changes and I told him I missed his long hair but it wasn't a biggie. Eventually, he broke up with me and then I realized: I never would've gone on a date with him the way he looks now, but to this day I'm still very in love with him. Even when people change you can't stop loving someone.
rylaro ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:03:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful. The male psyche is so fascinating to me and I love reading things like this.
MoribundCow ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 16:42:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a woman that's exactly how it is for me. Is it not the same for other women?
sullen_madness ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 17:03:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a woman this is how it is for me too. My SO is literally the most beautiful human I've ever seen; it doesn't matter what others think or that he isn't the "perfect man" like Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum. To me, he's perfect and it wasn't an instantaneous notion. It took time to get here, but I never want to go back.
YoungAdult_ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:48:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say it's the same for both men and women, maybe not all. It's definitely how I feel when I'm attracted to women, but it's definitely not restricted to just men.
Eurycerus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:14:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been with men where it wasn't like that, but it is with my current significant other. I grow to appreciate him physically and mentally more as we've been together.
rylaro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot confirm. Have never been in love.
I hope it is the same because this is lovely, whether written by a male or a female. It's just that things like this, from the male perspective, make me feel all mushy inside. In GENERAL, men don't express these sorts of things very often. So I love it when they do.
Joshington024 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, you're missing out on countless nights staying up late trying to deal with a broken heart. The reason we don't express our emotions openly is because it's so painful there's not too many people we'd trust sharing it with. I've gotten better at it over the years, but even now there's some things I'm probably taking to the grave, and it's probably for the best anyway.
MoribundCow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is painful for everyone. But men are not "supposed" to express their emotions. Men are shamed into stuffing them deep down and suffering quietly alone. It's tragic, and I hope to see those beliefs dissolve in my lifetime. Thankfully there is already some progress being made. I want to live in a world where men are free to be human beings.
Joshington024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's the thing, we've basically been conditioned to keep it to ourselves, while it seems like women are comfortable with crying in front of others. I'm honestly not sure if it's because the way society is or there's something different with women that make it easier for them to be open.
10000ofhisbabies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:27:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe I fell in love my my current gf the moment I saw her. In the grocery store, with her former gf, three years before I ever spoke to her. Her lopsided grin, the white eyelashes, the way walks and stands. All these little moments and thoughts happened for me immediately, they keep getting bette and bigger after almost three years together.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:38:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but I often hear among girls that "it's hard to imagine they think about us as much as we think about them," so it's comforting, I think, to know that just because men are taught to not share feelings doesn't mean they don't have them.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
MoribundCow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:24:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's kind of the point here. That who the person is as a whole can influence how they appear to you.
Kirioko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not for me. I can appreciate someone's good looks whether male or female, and I definitely can be touchy-feely and affectionate, but not like this. Reading the post helped me understand the guy's perspective but I don't think I can relate to it...
MoribundCow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:16:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In what ways is your experience different? My thought was that this may not be a male/female thing but just a variation between individuals.
Kirioko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell if someone is objectively attractive or not, male or female, but it's very much an impersonal thing for me. I'm not attracted to them, per se, but I can tell that people generally consider them attractive/good looking. I don't think I've ever had so much as a crush, whether on a celebrity/friend/fictional being/etc. I just don't have this personal, emotional involvement when it comes to that kind of thing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:21:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn this made me feel it's time to get back on the market.
VandWW ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the sweetest and most heartwarming thing I've ever read. I've saved it for myself now.
justaflowerpot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:16:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been with my man for almost 7 years, and I have always thought that he is being extra kind when he tells me I how much he loves the way I look. He says he is still madly in love with me, and I just have never been able to understand that. I have lots of flaws and he doesn't seem to even notice them. My heart warmed up so much when I read this. I just realized that when I catch him looking at me and he looks warm and full of love, he actually sees something completely different than I see. Men are amazing creatures.
satiredun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now I'm crying. I'd give so much to have a guy look at me like that.
hamhamsuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
read it and i realized i look at my gf this way but she doesn't do it back. which is fine but feels not the best
satiredun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
girls do it differently sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew from the 2006 Denzel Washington movie Deja Vu from Adam Goldberg's exposition that even looking at yourself in the mirror is not a true reflection of yourself and that you can never see yourself for how you truly are. I also know from Inception or something that the very act of remembering something changes the memory. Now, reading this comment I realize that the way people see others is also how they never truly are. It gives you a romantic view of the world.
flyalpha56 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:13:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck this makes me think about all the women who I've ever dated and felt strong feelings for and how when I started feeling what you describe here, I pushed away and left all the girls who ever loved me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm. This one was inspiring. Thank you.
fallsnicht ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:33:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way this is written reminded me an awful lot of this short film by CANADA.
isaacseaman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow thatโs damn accurate !!! I was a shy type of guy my girl extrovert . She proposed first and we are together for 1.5 yrs !!!
future_faking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved this. Now i have it saved.
Tarcanus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guh, this is so good. It also shined a light on why I have issues - after being hurt often enough, I have a hard time maintaining that filter. I do see her objectively pretty often and the more that happens, the more the filter crumbles.
arsmith531 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing.
BlakeBarnes00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that was possibly the most accurate description I have ever seen ever. That for some reason made me really happy to read.
Oddsandends619 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't read something so true in such a long damn, thanks for sharing that it, definitely made my heart jump how accurate that is.
SquidCap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spot on. And also, the one thing about her appearance that you felt was bit off, is now the one most loved parts. She is not like any other human, outside of realms of just beauty, there is no beauty or anything, she just is she and is the best thing in the universe. At times, for very brief moments, a second or two when that illusion goes away and you are just amazed of how she actually looks like (spoiler: not always that good..) and then, boom, suddenly it's back again and if possible, even better than before. It is really, really weird thing. If you want a temporary shortcut to this, take MDMA. It just won't last and is not real even in the moment but one may get a glimpse of what it is about.
NIN-pig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was beautiful my friend !
Nintendroid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DEAD. ON.
_monochromia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saved this too!
BenRandomNameHere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You nailed it. That's how I feel about my lady.
MCZ1030 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved the original comment and then saved this too.
shadowgattler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true
daten-shi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is legit scary accurate.
tag349 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. This made me cry. ๐ข
LNA-Big_D ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:17:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. This is on point. This shit happened to me last year with a friend's cousin and this is almost exactly how it all went down and how I felt. I'm fairly sure there was something there, but it didn't click until it was too late and she had moved on. I wish the process hadn't taken so long for me, but such is life I guess.
Halfreide ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True.
I start to find people more physically attractive when we get on well. It's weird like you look away for a moment then look back and it's like "Oh damn you just went from a six to an eight"
th3BlackAngel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I still sometimes remember my first kiss with the girl I consider my first love, 7 years later
Gopshop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this would make a fantastic wedding speech, either as a groom or best man.
solips_sonder ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:40:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...So what do women feel if not this?
BordomBeThyName ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:36:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the same thing. Men and women are more similar than they are different.
bigd5783 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then she leaves and you don't know what to do. You lose all will to live and no longer care about anything. You become a husk of your previous self. You try to stay away from her. When you have to see her all it brings you is immense pain. Not because you hate her but because she is still your everything and seeing her with someone else just cripples you all the way down to your soul. Death often feels like a lighter punishment but you have to move on and you try. It never gets easier but slowly you just become numb to the pain.
01001100_0101000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, can confirm... Holy fuck dude talk about accurate
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
Doghair_inmybeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Replying , just so I have this to look back at
marksuryaharja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gold
johnsix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, man.
Wanderwow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
memorysphincter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, made me misty-eyed. Thank you for that (must be really dusty in here.. shoot)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
thats-how-I-120roll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. that one's a keeper and is in my saved tab as well now. I've never heard that explained so well - I 100% agree with it but have never put it into words even in my own head.
StarchildStChampion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't come here to feel!
thorrism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was beautifully expressed, I can't begin to try and explain it any better than you have. 10/10 accuracy, would read your work again
TheOmnipotentPilot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a man who struggles to understand how other people keep falling in love, this provides some perspective.
aghostus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I thank you for this because a lot of us are going realize that maybe this /is/ love. It's beautiful, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So beautiful...
DataPigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You savage, this is pretty much what I am feeling for a certain person, but it's possibly rather one-sided. I believe this will suck...
RaPlD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:01 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sucks big time when it's one-sided.
EvilKinivel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something i didn't expect to find here. But this hits home and is really to accurate.
I think this comment will get burried but whoever came up with this is a wonderful human being.
WhiteKoala__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how do you meet someone like this?
HunkaHunka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: Love is blind.
asdfghjk3253 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck! I can only dream of feeling this way
ComboCosmo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
AgainstTheTides ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way her curly hair would fall in front of her right eye as she would smile and look down when we chatted...
Life goes on.
smokemonkey97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was beautiful.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same. Women are just lowkey enjoying this post because a lot of us secretly believe that men can't possibly think of us as much as we think of them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's late, but I think I trust OP (and the people who've ever said they love me) to be as human as I am.
ShawnOfTheSheep ยท 1849 points ยท Posted at 13:59:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/T5B8jlV.gifv life is a lie
sgtsnyder88 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 21:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need this with "sound of silence" playing in the background. too good
RedditHasAutism ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:28 on October 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was perfect you had to ruin it with a retard taste meme
AZOkami ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 22:38:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow even I got upset looking at that one, imagine how the kid felt
cryptum001 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:06:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is heartbreaking to witness in person. Some of those damn knobby balls are filled with the greatest of loathing for the happiness of children.
RozJC ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:20:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't help but crack up every time I see this!
schering ยท 9927 points ยท Posted at 11:45:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of the Bus Knight: http://i.imgur.com/rSnA8.png
FlowSoSlow ยท 2636 points ยท Posted at 14:31:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly to believe this happened.
wolffpack8808 ยท 2525 points ยท Posted at 16:06:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have. I had similar situation happen once. Except the guy wasn't just some asshole, it was a crazy old homeless guy. Pulled a shiv, on me in a parking lot and told me to give him my wallet.
I told him it was in my car and to wait a minute while I grabbed it, and he did. Then I hopped in my car and peeled out leaving him looking pretty perplexed in my rear view mirror.
Dremora_Lord ยท 1081 points ยท Posted at 18:02:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly to believe this happened.
Wolf_to_your_Lamb ยท 1425 points ยท Posted at 18:14:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have. I had a similar situation once where I heard a guy who said he was calling from Microsoft to upgrade my computer. I said wait one second as I put the phone down on the side, you should have heard the confused sounds coming down the phone whilst I took considerably more than a second to have a nice warm bath.
Earnur123 ยท 691 points ยท Posted at 18:17:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly believe this happend
jessaiee ยท 1220 points ยท Posted at 18:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have. I had a similar situation once where I laid in bed all day and ate an entire jar of peanut butter.
McLovin804 ยท 2025 points ยท Posted at 18:25:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that happened.
MirroredReality ยท 714 points ยท Posted at 18:26:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may haโ oh
Rich_Pickle ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:19:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
name checks out
TheCalendarMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name doesnt check out
MaKinItRight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly why I fucking love Reddit!
MirroredReality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I love you, random redditor!
MaKinItRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too and will always do. I guess we're married now?
MirroredReality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess so!
MaKinItRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, love doesn't know distance, but where are you from?
MirroredReality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good ol' US of A. You?
MaKinItRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The world's most loved country - Germany.
munomana ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 20:25:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may not have. I had a similar situation once where I tried to lay in bed all day and eat an entire jar of peanut butter but I ran out of piss bottles and had to leave the bed to pee
Saint_Oopid ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:28:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to believe this didn't happen.
IAmBoratVeryExcite ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may not have. I had a similar situation once where I was sitting on Paul Bearer's shoulders to get a better view of when in 1998 the Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcerโs table.
nuclearfarts99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to believe this didn't happen.
DaniRV ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:26:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Badly?
JesusIsMyAntivirus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't have wolf in his name, I think that seals the deal.
Unc00lbr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I Fucking lost it at this. Now I have to get another jar of peanut butter.
flubbateios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/madlads
rshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this happened.
HandsomeBobb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many of you wolves are there?!
wolffpack8808 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About 24 wolves to a pack, with 9001 packs. So approx: 216,024.
HandsomeBobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the input
msarif17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
800th person to upvote. The feels!
2u3e9v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly to believe this happened.
ImTheBatmanBitch ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:08:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life really is stranger than fiction sometimes.
A few years back, was dining with my family in a nice-ish Mexican restaurant. There was a child no older than four, who completely ignored by the parents, would holler its monkey face off and run up and down the aisles. This kid was climbing on the bench and whooping, while the no-fuck-giving parents idly sipped their drinks and ignored it. This went on for far too long until this older gentleman finally loudly said, "Hey! Shut that kid up!"
The entire restaurant burst into applause.
I wish I could relive that moment.
Pleased_to_meet_u ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old guys are just like young guys, only they have considerably less fucks to give.
Edgy_McEdgyFace ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:21:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly to believe this happened.
Saint_Oopid ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:31:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have. I had a similar situation happen once, where I was sitting in a diner eating lunch with some friends when a customer slightly raised his voice at the cashier, who seemed to quickly accede to his demands and we continued eating as though nothing happened.
wolffpack8808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still waiting to see my first "spontaneous applause" moment.
hrakkari ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have an eerily similar story except the homeless guy wanted my wig. I didnt have a wig nor was I wearing one. I told him to wait and he stabbed me in the arm and ran.
wolffpack8808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, glad you ended up alright. Your guy sounds like he was very unstable to say the least.
TheQueefburglar69 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:52:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar experience when on vacation in Bulgaria, Slanchev Bryag (aka Sunny Beach, Very touristy party town on the coast). I was drunk and had to take a piss .I found myself a pretty dark alley with some nice bushes and started going at it. As I'm pissing two silhouettes come walking over and tell me "you can't do this in this neighbourhood. You have to pay us taxes" I tell them "of course just follow me because i don't have my wallet on me it's in this bar I was drinking at." They followed me almost back to the beach before realising they where idiots and I was just bringing them back to civilization where I assumed they wouldn't go through with the beating and robbery I was expecting. One of them tried to sweep me but I jumped over his foot and ran the fuck away. All in all a good night.
stiffspaghetti ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should have just peed in the ocean
jamesonSINEMETU ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:32:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was kidnapped by a bum and told him to drive north. At the border patrol check point my friend jumped out and the guy was arrested. bastard was supposed to just go and get some beer was gone like 2 hours.
msay145 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that is kinda sad, I believe if he was truly crazy he would not give two fucks about your shit then he could stab you and rob all the stuff in your car, it seems like he was just rock bottom and he tought it was the only way to get some cash, I feel bad for him but I'm glad he didn't hurt you.
chompalligator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may have. I had a similar situation happen once. I was living in Los Angeles, in a rough part of town. It was about 10pm I was walking home from my friends job at an auto parts store and was almost at her apartment where I had been living with her. A guy starts walking with me I was young, didn't know how to shake him so he kept walking along side me. I got to the parking lot and he pulled out a knife, pushed it against my stomach. He said take me upstairs to your apartment. I told him to hold on, that I saw the light on in the apartment upstairs, that I had to check and see if my friends sister was in the apartment before I let him upstairs. He let me go, I calmly walked up the stairs then into the apartment. I'm sure he's still waiting in the parking lot for me to come downstairs, that was twenty five years ago.
DTownPsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have ran him over.
SF_Gangplank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was I the only one expecting /u/shittymorph?
MickeyWallace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:58 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want so badly to believe this happened.
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 1668 points ยท Posted at 16:25:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this as a bouncer all the time. It's so easy. "You wanna go? Let's take it outside!" I raise my hand in an "after you" type motion, they walk outside and I pull the door shut and latch it. They'd go ape shit, but they'd do it outside while I smiled a big cheesy grin. It seriously even worked right after you were just trying to get them to leave. "You need to leave." "I'm not leaving. Make me." "Go outside." "Fuck you, I can take you." "You wanna go? Ok, let's go. Outside." "Alright!" They walk outside. I shut the door and latch it. It was so easy to sucker these meatheads. I was always amazed that what I was saying would barely change. I'd say "go outside" and they'd say "no". But if I offered to fight them then said "go outside" they totally would. I wasn't even saying "let's fight", I was saying "you wanna go?" and they heard what they wanted to.
Suckers.
Japots ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 16:54:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how do you deal with other people wanting to come in?
[deleted] ยท 290 points ยท Posted at 17:15:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna come? Let's go inside!
HatesBeingThatGuy ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 17:43:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure you use protection!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:48:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna go? Lets come inside?
Thats... better not say that.
bs484 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:17:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Come in me, bro"
WishfulSleeper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:20:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm SO glad you gave me permission... Even if it is after-the-fact...
k,byebetternotsue!
RiskyMcClickerson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm...
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:47:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The exit is an exit only with an entrance about 8 feet to the left and around a corner. It's all windows there, so we can see if anyone wants to come in and let them in whatever door the idiot's not at. Since we'd be the ones working the door too (taking IDs and money), throwing someone out would normally happen during a lull when we'd go out into the crowd to look for ne'er-do-wells or at the end of the night when it's mostly traffic out anyway. There are multiple exits and the obviousness of some asshole having a tantrum was usually enough to deter anyone from demanding to use that particular exit anyway. The tantrums never lasted very long anyway.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:50:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying use the dog method of "WANNA GO OUTSIDE?" to stop Meatheads
Goluxas ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's a tough guy? Who's the toughest guy? Want some fighties? Oh yeah you do. Let's get some fighties outside!
moobart ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:05:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bouncer I used to do this all the time.
When you tell a drunk idiot to leave they refuse but if you agree to a fight or tell them you want to talk outside because you can't hear them they will usually walk right out. Then you just close the door or tell him to get lost.
Most times they realized they have lost and just hang their head and walk away. Sometimes they bang on the door with their head until it shatters only to be beaten up by a group of bouncers then arrested. Either way it usually works.
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:59:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain they even did this in the movie Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze.
moobart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:02:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never watched roadhouse until after I stopped working security. It's a shame because I'm sure I could've learned a lot more from a legend like Swayze.
RIP
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:06:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any other movies where a bouncer is the hero? What other entry level position has that sort of representation from a Hollywood movie?
karmacarousel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's go outside. I'll tell you there.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:42:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! It's a classic bouncer tactic.
Ask them if they want to take this outside and they'll always oblige.
JDFidelius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is truly amazing.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former bouncer myself, I used that trick quite often. That or I'd pull the whole "it's too loud in here to talk, let's just go talk about it outside real quick and I'll let you back in". It's really not difficult to manipulate drunks.
LabeledAsALunatic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if they don't go first?
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:16:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this never happened, not in 17 years.
mrjams96 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:55:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like drunk people are incredibly predictable.
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:27:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are incredibly predictable.
radusernamehere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The belligerent yet polite drunk is incredibly rare.
SirZammerz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you have to do is say "You wanna go?" and they will want to go. Outside.
The_Perfect_Dick_Pic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:28:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Go outside." "No, fuck you!" "You wanna take this outside?" "Fuck yeah!"
havron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Go outside."
"Make me."
"sudo Go outside."
"Alright!"
FiIthy_Communist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, I just responded to the person you responded to, saying the same thing, in not so many words.
ElSp00ky ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:58:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just believe. And maybe you can start a religion.
xanfire1 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:20:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no wait dont
Dubbx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:35:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we've come this far
Snowball_Europa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:12:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too late
OldManPhill ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be that man
Shapez64 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:58:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a resident of Brisbane and knowing the calibre of some in the Valley, I can attest to its authenticity
Shit-Skull, bless his rancid absolultely fucking everything, still pops up in various forms on public transport every now and again. It's been a while since I've seen anyone like him though, so that's great!
StealthChainsaw ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:41:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
phatelectribe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:13:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar situation, although I kinda was a the bus knight, but due to shitty London busses and red tape it didn't fucking work. Basically, I was on a business trip to London, the GF with me. We go out one night and I always prefer to use the busses so we actually get to see some London. We're heading back to the hotel a deranged Somalian, probably 6'2", actively chewing chat gets on the bus and starts acting really fucking weird. Staring at people, walking over and leaning in to single women etc. My gloves are off my hands, and resting on my knees as i'd been using my phone. As he stumbles down the isle he starts staring at my GF making her seriously uncomfortable and then he tries to grab one of me gloves. Instantly I push back and at this point people start leaving the bus. He's just standing there, but the chat seems to be kicking in hard and he's having trouble keeping balance with movement of the bus as and falls backwards a little and lands in to a group girls who scream. At this point, I tell my GF we're going downstairs (it was a double decker) and the guy follows. He's says something unintelligible along the lines of he wants to fight me. "sure, lets get off the bus". The driver by this point knows what's been going on upstairs (someone pushed the emergency button). I tell the driver to stop the bus "I can't until we're at a stop" so I say, "for fuck's sake, you know what's been going on?", "...but health and saftey etc", A few tense seconds but thankfully we pull up to a bus stop. The doors open, I gesture the guy to get off so we can get in to it, he stumbles off, and then I yell to the driver to close the doors, and after an excrutiating 15 seconds me blocking the door from the guy getting back on, the doors finally close. "let's go"" I yell to the driver. "er, sorry, I can't. I signalled to the depot that we had an incident so know we can't go anywhere and have to wait for a supervisor". Are you fucking kidding me. The chat'ed out somalian is trying to pry the doors open and get back on the bus, at which point he sees the "open door" button on the outside of the bus, presses it and the door starts to open. "What fuck driver! Close the fucking door" I yell at him. "Er, I can't, the outside button overrides my controls". FML. The Somali gets on the bus and is even more cracked out, lurches towards some other girls and one of the pepper sprays the bus. It does nothing to the Somali's zombie like chat adventure, instead tons of people are screming from the pepper spray and the bus driver can't open the doors as he locked them before, so the only door that works is the one by the Somali that he opened from the outside, I push past him, go outside and push the button on the other door so everyone can get out. Then I hear police sirens, and I'm thinking at last, some fucking justice (it's been about 30 mins since the debacle first started)....and the police just drive right on by. The Somali then get's off the bush and walks in to a hedge by the bus stop and lies down in it. Everyone gets off the bus, and I hail a cab and we're gone. So basically, like the Aussie story, but with a bunch of classic british procedural red tape, and some pepper spray to totally fuck up my good intentions. *By the way, the reason I'm referring to to him as a Somali as I grew up with a few, and I know some words and that's the language he was mumbling to himself.
FlowSoSlow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
^ this is why you don't drink and Reddit, kids.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:07:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it is best to do what I do. Just assume everything on reddit happened just like it was written. Makes the world a more interesting place
Silver_Yuki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:59:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An extremely similar thing happened directly in front of me on my local bus back home (England). I say this is plausible.
someguywhocanfly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:03:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't sound that unrealistic tbh. As much as I like a good browse of /r/thathappened, this is the kind of thing that I can see happening and one of the only possible situations I can imagine people on a bus actually clapping and cheering for.
Edibleface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah yeah /r/nothingeverhappens
l-Orion-l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:54:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, its Australian and I can tell you it sounds like a classic thing to happen on our public transport system. You see some weird shit sometimes. I don't know about the last part though.
frekc ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:42:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's copy pasta. First read it on Reddit
longarmoftheweast ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:14:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copy pasta? No dis is copy pasta
JediHedwig ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copy pasta? No dis is copy pasta
Flare_I_am ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:41:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's copy pasta. First read it on Reddit
WolfHunter17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:24:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copy pasta? No dis is copy pasta
Summerie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't mean it didn't happen originally.
zetecvan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened. There's a video of it somewhere. (Although I can't find it at the moment).
Edit: I'm beginning to think I imagined it.
Erolei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember there was a video similar to this going around a year or two ago. This is embellished of course, but the essentials are there.
tlebrad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dude is in Brisbane.
Believe me.
This happened.
FiIthy_Communist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not entirely unbelievable. I'm a bouncer and i've used this trick a few times in the last couple of months even.
drassaultrifle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:06:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip: it didn't
daten-shi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was on /r/thathappened so it clearly did happen.
temporalarcheologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it isn't r/thathappened -tier because it doesn't portray the narrator as the hero and its pretty reasonable to think that there are some dickbags that ride public transportation
I_Am_The_Poop_Mqn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an "eruption" of applause and strangers begin hugging... it's right up /r/thathappened's alley
Crustice_is_Served ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if this didn't happen we always have the kid that pulled out a samurai sword on the light rail in Phoenix to break up a fight.
cryptologicalMystic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a subreddit for that: /r/ihopethishappened
FauxReal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar happened with my friend who was a bartender. He cut off some drunky dude who challenged my friend to a fight. My friend being pretty confident having been a trained boxer who was also taught some dirty techniques agreed and said, "after you" and pointed toward the back door. The guy walked out and my friend locked the door. For whatever reason the guy didn't bother walking around the building to attempt round 2.
ASAP_PUSHER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you read it, you imagined it. Therefore, it happened.
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh, I'm not sure about that logic. I've imagined all kinds of things but that doesn't mean they happened... In fact, it's probably better that they didn't.
ASAP_PUSHER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happened in your imagination.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FlowSoSlow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consider yourself lucky you've never encountered someone who acts like Shit-Skull.
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 13:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
konechry ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 15:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand Shit-Skull will just beat you up inside of the bus instead of actually getting out.
blahblahblicker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:01:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. But just think of all that sweet money he'll get when he sues Reddit for pulling this stunt!!
Psyche68 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:05:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Seattle and take the bus everyday, you'd be so surprised at how many people do nothing. Stand up for what's right. I've done it once and man it feels great.
MeInMyMind ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:44:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're OK with the rare, but possible knife in your gut, go for it.
jeff0106 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. The bus drivers I've seen never care if you pay. Hell tons of people enter through the back door of the bus and completely avoid the driver.
furniture_warehouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats me lol. i think the fine is around $150 but I consider it paid for in full if I ever get caught considering how many free rides I've taken.
TheBlackFlame161 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:33:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been inspired by this hero.
Luap_ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:49:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is glorious.
ahealey5961 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:53:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brisbane represent
hufusa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benedict glasscock
quiet-wolf-speaks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:42:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounded like something that would happen where I'm from (Brisbane Australia) I check the location of the post and what do you know, Brisbane Australia. I'm fairly sure it's a true story as well, it sounds pretty accurate to me.
MalcolmAbbott ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:03 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. Something that tipped me off was "Valley" combined with "bogan".
may_den ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a bus situation I had a few years ago. It was a rainy day in Koreatown, LA and the bus was crowded. A guy sat next to me and tried to start some idle chatter with me, saying anyounghasaeo (Korean for hello), assuming I was Korean, saying he liked the shape of my eyes, asking me where I'm going, and generally being irritating even after I dismissed him. A man sitting a little ways off offered to swap seats with me, but that didn't seem be very effective. When I started to ignore the stream of remarks, he became visibly upset and began to raise his voice, asking me why I didn't like him, etc. It was awkward. When he started to become physically pushy, people started to stand up to stop him and tell him to can it.
The bus hasn't moved since he started getting shouty. After a slew of insults directed at the kindly folks around him, he decides to cut his losses and get off the bus. Satisfied, the bus driver shuts the door and drives away, and the guy shouts profanities at us as we depart. The tension dissipates and everyone gets back to their seats.
And that was when we found his wallet in his seat.
Guy notices probably around the same time we do and starts running after the bus, shouting even louder and punctuated with more f*ck you's. We hand off the wallet to the driver and we all have a merry laugh as she leaves the guy behind.
ReadReadReedRed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story is so Australian, it could not even be scripted.
PurpuraSolani ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:11 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"you wanna fucken go cunt"
Oh for fucks sake.
Geronimouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey we made a short film of that story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AopxVGvrVUc
Pete9900 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:22:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
short film version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AopxVGvrVUc
Spasmochi ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:47:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They kind of ruined it tbh.
DuelingPushkin ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it was unnecessarily long winded, and turned the bus knight into some weird spectre instead of everyman who stood up.
samurai_jak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that bad, a little over dramatized and added too much other shit in, but it still was good
The_lawbreaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait, it finally got completed. i followed them for ages but gave up after they didnt post anything for like a year
Geronimouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, yeah, we had funding issues. The film funding body that backed us first got axed so we lost our budget, then we got picked up again later by their replacement, but it took a while.
Filmmaking is expensive.
The_lawbreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, tell me about it, I tried making my first short film on a 500 dollar budget, I never realised how expensive film making is, do you have any other projects planned?
Geronimouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I directed that, thanks for the share :)
Pete9900 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neat, great work. :)
notwutiwantd ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:57:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thatHappened
JustAnAverageTree ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 15:31:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great story, but damn the classic "we all clapped" at the end...
kciuq1 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:55:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody even got a %100$ bill. Confirmed fake.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen that before and/or something similar to it. Some crazy asshole had been drunkenly yelling in a residential neighborhood one night when me my dad and a couple of his friends were out walking. Crazy/drunk guy starts accusing us of trying to take his things and my dad just yelled at the top of his lungs something like "Shut the fuck up!" and people from a couple of the nearby apartment buildings cheered. I know it sounds far-fetched but I was there. I think dude had been going at it for awhile and they all just wanted him to knock it off.
Summerie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I have seen people burst into spontaneous applause before. It's a trope, but not an unbelievable one.
YeeScurvyDogs ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mate everything is fake, every emotion you've experienced is just your subconciousness drugging your ego to keep you loyal to the 3 things the human body is programmed for, survival, procreation and accumulation of power. Money or gold or anything else has no inherent value. There are no objective morals. Whether an awesome story is fake or not is the least of your worries.
DoctorNoonienSoong ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:52:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:29:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares? It's a fun story.
AlwaysMakingBadPuns ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a penguin?
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:39:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
AlwaysMakingBadPuns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Okay...
karmaon420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you The Penguin?
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
Lyteshift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you penguin?
MaxFactory ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying this story didn't happen, but whether or not a story is real matters. If I told you the event of The Lord of the Rings happened in real life, you'd be like "Holy shit!". But if it's a fictional story it's more "Ok, that's cool I guess".
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped to fill my car up The car felt good that dayย I didn't know where I was goingย But it felt good for a changeย A five and a pocket full of silverย I paid the lady no changeย
And then it started to piss downย I started driving againย
And then I looked upย And looked in the mirror behind meย
A man round forty in the back seatย Must have stepped in when I was emptyย So why's he sat there just waitingย Likely to smash my face inย He had a bag full of moneyย He said 'just drive me away'ย I didn't know where I was goingย Yet it felt good to be strangeย
And still I look upย And look in the mirror behind meย
Curiosity is overย He stepped down from the carย He pulled a gun from his jacketย Said I was going to dieย It gives me so much satisfactionย To watch you beg and cryย
Well I just made up this storyย To get your attention makes me smileย
I never looked up or lookedย In the mirror behind me
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think of this one as the original
911ChickenMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:44:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about not playing Reddit Truth PoliceTM and just downvoting it, chief? You know the story's fake, so what? Do you complain about video games and movies because they're not $100% real?
notwutiwantd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would I downvote it? OP was contributing to the thread commendably. This is his favorite thing in his saved section. I was pointing out that it would fit in well in r/thathappened, so if you enjoy stories that $100% happened with people cheering at the end, you can go there and enjoy.
ClintRenee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hero humanity needs, but doesn't deserve.
mastaofspasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has a way with words.
Bibaonpallas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the perverse implication of The Bogan's "sister-daughter" girlfriend.
matisseblue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:09 on August 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Brisbane!! This sounds like it definitely could have happened...
allof11seconds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm this did in fact happen. He's a friend of mine from Sydney and he even went on to write a small musical about it!
Nico_is_not_a_god ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, Imgur is as bad as photobucket nowadays. Gonna need to find a new host that actually lets you link directly to images. Can't even trust a URL that ends in ".png" anymore.
FourFifthLean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bruce Lee does this in Enter the Dragon. It's called, "the art of fighting, without fighting."
xelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
related:
https://vimeo.com/209881258
Travjbell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one time I can believe people clapping in public
SexyAsianHitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I saw a German short film with this exact plot at a film festival
Dongo666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would've been a better story if he had pounded Shitskulls face flat.
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is amazing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and then the bus driver gave him a crisp $100% bill
Beast-Blood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
TBomberman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly like Arthur Dent fighting the Thunder god lmao
X3l20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did I just read? Hahaha
alien122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This used to be one of the top posts of all time on reddit before the score cap changed.
el-cuko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ozzy man needs to narrate this story like yesterday
Nox_Stripes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hero we all deserve
Melesani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:04 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm scared he wouldn't close the door on time and the guy will jump in and call me a pussy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:08 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the top post of all time, at one point.
So much funny stuff since then.
olig1905 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how australian this is.
irritus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story is so Aussie!
VoiceofLou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:48:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worst tl;dr ever.
justcomment ยท 5180 points ยท Posted at 12:46:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/HYdfv8N.gifv
fazelanvari ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 19:13:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what medium do the shockwaves travel through?
ln2ar ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 19:20:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking they're probably gravity waves.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 20:39:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gravity waves, just an immense and nigh unimaginable amount of energy in the form of photons and other high energy particles radiating outward through space via the electromagnetic field. Gravity waves wouldn't be created in an event such as this, at least to my understanding, and if they were they have little to no bearing on the propagation of the majority of energy we see input into the region around the star.
Edit (link with explanation for my misunderstanding): There are gravitational waves generated during a supernova since there is a lot of mass moving in an asymetrical way. However, the complexity of supernovae do not make modelling the resulting waves a simple or understandable task, so the depiction of the "shockwaves" in that gif are likely to just be artistic license.
onequarterbritish ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:45:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not much of an astrophysicist but after a quick googling it seems like supernovae do indeed emit gravity waves.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup did a quick search myself and just threw in an edit
numun_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:38:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even just waving your arms around emits gravitational waves.
waiting_for_rain ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:54:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never felt more powerful
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can gravity waves refract light?
jt004c ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:09:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gravity wave is a bend in space. So yes. But they wouldn't be nearly as big as the shockwave depicted here.
worldnews_is_shit ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:06:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know what you are talking about and stop using unnecessary words to make you sound smart.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:00:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read a book
HououinKyouma1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:48:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The words aren't unnecessary, that's just the best description he can make without it being inaccurate
dropkickhead ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:49:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds most reasonable. All of the escaping matter from the star, all the matter that eventually creates the outer nebula, adds up to a really huge fucking amount, lots and lots of 0's. That's all the matter that is no longer considered a portion of this star's total gravity well, as it has reached escape velocity and is now racing outwards to the neighboring regions of space. Because it's all no longer part of the local gravity well itself, this huge shift causes a differing refraction of light around the star, almost immediately after the explosion occurs, with this difference propagating at the speed of light in all directions.
I think?
GreatCanadianWookiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Because the change in mass distribution is more or less symmetric, no gravitational waves (gravity waves are different) are produced. That's in a simple model though, since they aren't perfectly symmetric they will produce some gravitational waves, but no where near the power that you would think from that much accelerating mass.
dropkickhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You make a big valid point here. If gravitational curvature is lost or gained in regards to the observer from the nebula because of escaping mass moving away center, it would be lost or gained in the mass that's on the opposite side, in a perfect simple model, in equal effect.
I would say that the waves shown in the video there were highly stylized, and would not even be visible for longer than a millionth of a nanosecond if anything, rather than the slow "drop in a pond" way it appears in the animation.
So what we would see, then, is any net gravitational differences occurring from any inconsistencies in the explosion's uniformity. If the explosion throws an amount of solar masses in one direction more than the opposite, then at that moment's observation we may be able to measure a difference in the lightwaves' paths due to minute gravitational lensing.
Tl;dr It wouldn't look the way it does in the video. Viewed by eye it wouldn't have any gravitational waves visible at all, since our eyes are not that precise. Probably would have to be measured with lasers or something. Gravitational waves would only be propagating from the vector of most mass expelled from the supernova.
Battlestemic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds about right.
ReflectiveTeaTowel ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:22:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking ether man. Don't mess about.
A propos, I heard somewhere that you got shockwaves during the superinflation or whatever it was called of the early big bang as shit traveled faster than light. Sounds too cool to be true.
meantofrogs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:56:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally not real.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:35:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The immense amount of gas released by the star in the explosion and any nebular gas in the region is what we see illuminated and moving but it's not a shockwave as we understand it through air. It is instead the intense energy from the photon pressure generated in the explosion being absorbed and emitted and scattered and reabsorbed and reemitted through everything in a sphere around the star. Even if there were no gasses let off by the star prior to or during the supernova, the utterly immense amount of energy emitted through high energy photons (xrays, gamma rays, all kinds of rays) and other high energy particles would travel through space until they imparted their energy into something. That something could be a gas cloud a few lightyears away that begins glowing or a telescope a million lightyears away that gets a little tickle in its sensor.
Edit (link with explanation for my misunderstanding): There are gravitational waves generated during a supernova since there is a lot of mass moving in an asymetrical way. However, the complexity of supernovae do not make modelling the resulting waves a simple or understandable task, so the depiction of the "shockwaves" in that gif are likely to just be artistic license.
fazelanvari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for this. I was wondering if space-time itself was rippling. Glad to know it's artistic license showing the photon energy.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually somewhat misrepresented things.
I had filtered out the "shockwave" effect that passed by the camera when I read the above comment because it really didn't make much sense to me with my understanding of supernova events, and I assumed it was put in because we're used to seeing similar effects in atmospheric explosions: the shockwave passes while the fireball is still unfurling in the background. As such I had the basic assumption it was artistic license and associated the term shockwave with the evolution of the gas plume that was the main focus of the video.
In reality, gravitational waves are generated during supernovae. However, we do not currently have any way to model them since supernovae are pretty wild events. While the shockwave may well have been intended to represent the passing of gravitational waves it is unlikely they'd be so symmetric, and not most likely not visible distortions to an observer since it's not refraction of light through a pressure front traveling at the speed of sound but instead the disturbance/distortion of spacetime at the speed of light.
jt004c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bending space bends light. you would see it just like this.
Dan_Q_Memes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You and any incoming light bend with the space as well though, so that makes me unsure of what it'd actually look like. Plus the magnitude of the gravitational waves could be really small, relatively speaking, but we don't know how to predict supernova waves so we really have no idea.
jt004c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you wouldn't bend before the wave reaches you, so if you could somehow magically see it happening as it happened (e.g. light were instant), as is assumed in this GIF, then you'd expect to watch a shockwave warp space in front of you as it approached you.
And I agree, I think that magnitude wouldn't be anything close to this, in actuality, and it's certainly not clear they were intending to depict gravity waves in the first place.
firemarshalbill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining gas that exploded out first? Or it could just be non-scientific rendering.
UHavinAGiggleTherM8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check imgur comments. Someone explained it. I think.
11702dragonslayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spacetime.
klf0 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 19:25:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I want in life is for Betelgeuse to supernova before I die (or go blind).
Edit: and to hell with any lifeforms in that general vicinity!
Ginger-saurus-rex ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:34:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, maybe it already has, and the light is on its way to us now? It's a possibility, I know Betelgeuse is meant to go supernova very soon, at least on a galactic time scale.
klf0 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:13:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I need to say specifically that I wanted to see it happen? Because I want to see it happen.
Ginger-saurus-rex ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:28:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So do I, friend, seeing a supernova would be mind-blowing.
thelazerbeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you bolded the last
Blu3Army73 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 18:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking rad
framistan12 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:15:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So...what's the time scale on the events depicted? Minutes, days, lifetimes, eons?
Jarhead1327 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:44:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cornell University says: "The explosion of a supernova occurs in a star in a very short timespan of about 100 seconds. When a star undergoes a supernova explosion, it dies leaving behind a remnant: either a neutron star or a black hole."
rockaether ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:56 on December 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The explosion itself may be short, but the entire event depleted here, explosion to shock wave settling down, likely lasts a very short time span in astronomical scale, probably a few/dozen decades.
Considering the brightness we see, the observation is likely made from at least a few hundred/thousand AU away. It took Crab Nebula a few years to became dim, another few centuries to settle the cloud.
theniceguytroll ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really big explosion.
They don't take very long.
ascatraz ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 21:17:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last one.
GrandRapidsCreative ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:24:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I felt afraid watching this for some reason. Like very anxious.
tenflipsnow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same feeling I get thinking about the bottom of the ocean.
KeisariFLANAGAN ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:05:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched that with Lord of the Rings soundtrack choirs in my head. It was good.
tumsdout ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did it with a star wars prequel chorus
shinobi163 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gifsound.com/?gifv=HYdfv8N&v=ZgJYNveHOYU&s=299
JPtoony ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:49:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a staaar do do do "
INVICTU5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*New shit just got made.
aarondoyle ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:10:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What period of time is that meant to cover?
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:42:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5pm - 7.30pm just after supper
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:45:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Payhell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No they had supper with their pop
413729220 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
via /u/Jarhead1327
Cornell University says: "The explosion of a supernova occurs in a star in a very short timespan of about 100 seconds. When a star undergoes a supernova explosion, it dies leaving behind a remnant: either a neutron star or a black hole."
Holy_Wut_Plane ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:43:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SPACE DUST!
Gamerjackiechan2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EVEN CRAZIER SPACE DUST
mrjackspade ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there shockwave in space?
Norgenigga ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:19:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gravity waves. The medium is space itself.
33a5t ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:27:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wat
Norgenigga ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:32:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disclaimer: I'm not a theoretical physicist or even a physicist, though my area of study is under the Math umbrella. Feel free to correct me.
A common analogy for space-time is a piece of paper (worm-hole theory) or a stretchy fabric (gravitational orbits). In both cases, you're using two dimensions to visualize the three dimensions we live in. So, keep in mind, especially when visualizing gravity, an object makes a "sink" or "dent" in every possible direction from the center of mass. So the gravitational field (points in which acceleration would be felt in an object was there) is really a giant sphere of influence that loses strength at the square of the distance away.
Okay so these dents in space-time are just something mass does for an unknown reason currently. Anyway, these dents are actually more of an extension of the mass or object itself (Similar to touching atoms not really touching, they just can't overcome the force of electromagnetism at that distance to move closer, so there's a limit to how close they can get. Every instance of mass is an infinite sphere of influence. When you have a lot of mass in very close proximity. These sphere's are additive, so it's almost like a single stronger sphere.
Now back to the point. Light has to travel along space, which in 3D is kinda also through-ish, it doesn't really make sense for us since we can't visualize 4 dimensions. So in a 2D sense, light has to follow the dents in space too. The bigger the dent (more massive object) the more light was warped during it's travel. Extremely massive objects such as black holes bend light so much that it never really makes it out of the dent.
In the case of gravity waves these spheres are oscillating rapidly. Theoretically it can happen for spheres of any strength, but it is detectable through it's interference with light when the spheres are huge like two black holes. I'm not qualified at all to explain gravity waves though. You'll have to watch this which does a better job at all of what I wrote. I'll keep trying my best though.
In the gif posted before, the space between you and the stars in the distance is being distorted because of the large amounts of mass (spheres) being thrown apart from each other at insane speeds. which is like the opposite effect of a black hole merger, but both produce waves (like throwing a rock in a lake and pulling one out, both cause ripples in the water).
Would the Gravitational Wave Observatories be able to pick this up? Possibly. Would your own eyes? Probably not. The gif is an exaggeration.
mrjackspade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, thanks!
MeowntainMan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:43:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coolest thing I've seen in a while. Thank you for this.
ifCreepyImJoking ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:06:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How accurate is this? I was always annoyed at Alderan blowing up with a ring shockwave, since I figured it should be almost spherically symmetric. Now not so sure...
d9_m_5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:16:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in /r/Space a bit ago, apparently it's mostly artistic license. I'm not sure which parts are inaccurate though.
Holy_Wut_Plane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:43:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SPACE DUST!
Megafeto ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:20:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I already saw Star Wars!
cpt_sparkleface ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, I just came.
Envyy_Bruh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if it will kill me, I want to see that happen in real life. That would be one of the most beautiful things any human could ever experience.
Battlestemic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that'd be a hell of a thing to do mathmatically speaking. Gauging how far away you'd have to be to be safe and still see that in all it's glory
captainslow327 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My phone was determined to not let me see that.
REDDITOR_3333 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that first shock wave traveling at the speed of sound through the atmosphere is amazing.
possibly_a_shill ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:42:13 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope
nope
Penosaurus_Sex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:37:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a rendering of a star going full retard.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:42:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rage quitting.
knewkungfukenny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SURELY NOT
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man, total annihilation looks beautiful
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's incredible : )
ArrayedFracture ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that was sexy as all hell
JohnWarden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn
oztralia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking awesome
dansdantas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can i have this in HD? I need a new boot animation asap.
PM_ME_UR_CAT- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and without the "Best Visualization of Super Nova" across the top...
Bad_Jason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so high right now. Thank you!
KurdishShaman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that is beautiful
Ginger-saurus-rex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, if the sun went supernova, it would be brighter than if you set off a fifty megaton hydrogen bomb an inch from your eyeball.
Safgaftsa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, that's pretty bi-
Oh shit.
OH SHIT."
lovelikeangels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure I just had a space orgasm.
theaveragecaucasian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:08 on July 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I love space
permanentthrowaway ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Saved.
Evolushan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand saved.
UrNotFly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is what happened inside my head after my first experience w mushrooms.
KurdishShaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
facts
AssyMcFlapFlaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saved
Saywhatwant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome.
Sirus13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is there a shockwave with no air?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shockwaves aren't exclusive to air.
LAVA_ENEMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traditional ones are exclusive to fluids, which space isn't. These are gravity waves, though, so they just spread along space itself.
salawm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gravity waves.
vvvvvIMADRONE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
User name checks out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Sovngarde was created by a supernova
wildturkeydrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was really expecting a dickbutt
Activelikeasponge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky!
SteveCooksWhenDrunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen a Super Nova blow up, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova, it'll light up the night sky.
CrinerBoyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Brigadier Kerla, speaking for the High Command. There has been an incident on Praxis. However everything is under control. We have no need for assistance. Obey treaty stipulations and remain outside the Neutral Zone. This transmission ends now.
blakey21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:33 on September 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how in the fuck do that get a picture of this shit i know i sounds stupid but someone enlighten me please!!!
justcomment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:20 on September 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computer simulations. ie. /r/simulated
ChappyPappy ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i hope people know this isn't real
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:24:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations on identifying a visualization!
Please sir, tell us what gave it away!
ChappyPappy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there are so many people that see stuff like this and think it's real you'd be surprised...
stripeydogg ยท 13140 points ยท Posted at 11:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/jPZbQ. One of the funniest things I've ever read.
[deleted] ยท 3313 points ยท Posted at 13:38:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HMCetc ยท 1440 points ยท Posted at 16:10:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that the title says: "I made a giant kinder surprise for my girlfriend's birthday" implies... success.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 447 points ยท Posted at 17:32:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foreshadowing!
ImNotTheNSAIPromise ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:31:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can guarantee that his kinder egg surprised everybody, so he wasn't totally wrong about it
lgaarman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
didn't you see the finished product?
HMCetc ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:15:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... it was certainly finished.
blindfoldedbadgers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The surprise was how shit it was
Sasmas1545 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:49:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we watch different gifs
acog ยท 285 points ยท Posted at 14:51:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that it's a photo gallery with no gifs at all in it, I'm going to say: yes.
Sasmas1545 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:03:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a dinosaur cloud?
AniviaPls ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 15:06:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, not at all LOL
Sasmas1545 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:41:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's a bunch of concept cars. What is happening??
AniviaPls ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:44:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
k youre lying
Sasmas1545 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:45:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear I'm not. First it was a gif. Then a dinosaur cloud. Now it's concept cars. I just want to know where the link is actually supposed to bring me.
Edit: It is now a shitty comic about some guy going off to war with a novelty helmet.
rocklou ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:02:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need to lay off the shrooms
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be the next "what comment chains have you saved?" thread.
Deathjester99 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:01:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You scrolled to far down its an album it will be the very first image then press the button for more photos under the first image.
Sasmas1545 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:09:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not it though. This is what I see when I click that link.
Pao_Did_NothingWrong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:14:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying I'm laughing so hard right now.
Deathjester99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think your phone is revolting.
TsarKeith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checking in, it's currently a picture of Dave Grohl being really excited about bbq
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me it's a "mom reflexes" gif.
lilhughster ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:40:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now I want to see a fucking dinosaur cloud.
Sasmas1545 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The link leads me to a bunch of concept cars now. No more dinosaur cloud.
chocobo-selecta ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hell. Dude, that was savage. It was like a bitch slap followed by the words "there's no gif in here, bitch!"
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you on mobile? It didn't work for me using AlienBlue, just took me to Imgur. Had to copy the link from his comment and paste it in my browser.
It was worth it.
UHavinAGiggleTherM8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an imgur link. Why shouldn't it take you to imgur?
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I meant it doesn't take me to a specific pic, just Imgur.com and whatever happens to be at the top.
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That's what it was...
jawsmorgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well thanks for ruining it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, spoiler alert
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/DiWHY
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got medicine ball volleyball.
Summerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you re link it? It's just a mediocrely funny gif when I open it called "mom reflexes".
Edit: That's just weird. It won't open on mobile and just take me to Imgur.
darksingularity1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait I see Buzz and "woody"
ignore_me_im_high ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be a brilliant subreddit. Not just for eggs though.
bluebloodflood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh you spoiled it for me!
chocobo-selecta ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 15:27:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm literally ugly crying with laughter.
Jorask ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 17:18:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should take a picture of you then, it's probably the only time in your life you'll be ugly :)
byAnarchy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:59:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wholesomememes
BForBandana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really glad WM is starting to spread its influence into other parts of Reddit.
ninjaabobb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:05:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily one of the most wholesome comments I've ever read
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:55:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw fuck I'm straight up snotty
sunchip93 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:04:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh. I can't stop laughing and crying.
theonlyredditaccount ยท 706 points ยท Posted at 14:03:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of all these links, this one got me.
Nixon51 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 14:43:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was just thinking the same thing. This one had me laughing way too hard.
Captain_Taggart ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 15:07:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know the kind of laugh where your shoulders heave and you shake, and you can't make any sound but tears come out?
This did that to me.
HMCetc ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:05:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I've stopped laughing now, but there's still tears in my eyes. I'm a little physically tired now. God that was spectacular! Every stage from the cling film stage was just beautiful.
uptnogd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of laugh where everyone at work is looking at me trying to determine if I'm crying or laughing. It's both!
ABCforCharlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my husband just asked me the same thing!
outofbananas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard I got hiccups. I'm done laughing now but still have hiccups. Pls send help :(
tricheboars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and mother in law now think I'm completely insane. Cried laughing at this.
soyverde ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the little "sorry" near the end that finally made me lose it.
theonlyredditaccount ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:10:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
"Sorry I made you this"
Sasmas1545 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you point me to what it actually is? This link keeps sending me to random shit.
theonlyredditaccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works for me. Same link... maybe you have a virus?
Sasmas1545 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I copy/paste the link in browser it works fine. Maybe it has something to do with the reddit app on ios? I don't know.
qscguk1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked fine for me, also on iPhone app
Sasmas1545 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's because I'm not using the latest update.
Edgy_McEdgyFace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family is watching Love Island stone faced while I'm curled on the sofa choking with laughter reading this. My chest fucking hurts.
swyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ditto. lolling IRL
hitdrumhard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:48:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost died.
YugoReventlov ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, my coworkers are watching me now. "he's not working again"
Adamapplejacks ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:07:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, it was this comment that did the exact same thing to me, I'm dying right now
Armantes ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it once and giggled. I woke up my wife. I shared it with her and had a 5 minute laugh attack while reading it. Literally crying while trying to get through the last few pictures.
Thank you for sharing. I haven't laughed that hard in months.
scroom38 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should totally do that for you wife. Wait just long enough it's not in the front of her mind (like, if she's got a fall birthday), Christmas at the latest.
The_Nipple_Tickler ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:08:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"kinder surprise sorry"
Cloudy_mood ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 17:20:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I had tears coming out of my eyes. This was the funniest thing I've read in a long time.
"It is like I am giving her a reason to break up with me."
ViggoMiles ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:14:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess he completed something.. yay
lordofpurple ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:21:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have not laughed that hard in a long-ass time, thank you.
hot_dogg ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:48:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How is it?" "Well it is............ It is."
ApatheticTeenager ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He thought it be As her Dreams Are Made On
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:52:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is like /r/nailedit but raised to the level of an art form.
aeiward ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:45:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's like I'm litterally giving her a reason to break up with me. " lol. Thanks for sharing!
Shiniholum ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead link?
quackquackoopz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely lost it at this: http://i.imgur.com/jV0Ed3O.jpg
letmeexplainitforyou ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's some serious /r/anattemptwasmade material right there... hooey!
DJ-Salinger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/therewasanattempt
garuda_two ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:47:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmaoooooo haven't laughed like that from something on the internet in a long time
setto__ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:11:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did NOT think I'd laugh that hard. Easily one of the funniest things on Reddit.
Birg3r ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:09:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, couldn't hold back laughing at work
karnok ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:24:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now comes the hard part where we delicately remove the glad wrap without destroying the mould.
[It completely falls apart]
Fuck my life.
Large_Dr_Pepper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:41:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Er... yeah, that's the funny part.
alex3omg ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:03:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all... Coconut oil mixed with tempered chocolate. Chill two half-egg-shaped-objects. Pour the chocolate over each and stick em in the freezer.
Honestly the best way to do this would be to pipe the chocolate on like those lattice doiley things and make like a giant chocolate egg shaped cage and then rest the note and present inside delicately. Again, make two halves and then connect them. That way she can see inside. And an egg is dumb just make it a sphere that sounds better. The kinder thing is lost at this point.
slublueman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just use a balloon
alex3omg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my first idea, but I feel like two egg-shaped halves that are then sealed around the toy will be more reliable. You can really layer it thicker too for structural support.
GloriousToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What came first the egg or the egg in an egg? I did.
jack_straw79 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit like this is why I shouldn't browse reddit at work. No way to contain my laughter with this one and I'm in tears. This one is definitely my favorite!
Forbidden_Donut503 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:51:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen on Reddit. It's perfect.
Cic2909 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:07:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, laugh so long even my face hurts.
CFSparta92 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually fucking cried laughing at this.
esahc161 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:00:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit, meeting outside my office just gave me the dead eye stare. This is great.
Brusk_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was way funnier than I expected it to be
ddmone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:38:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made the mistake of reading that in a meeting and literally snotted on myself trying not to laugh. Lol.
Bandwidth_Wasted ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe saved thanks
Cabotju ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
Hanmyo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit I couldn't stop laughing
HippieSoulPunx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:23:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gave myself an asthma attack laughing so hard at this.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:38:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to go for a walk around my living room because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I just saved your post. I'm fucking crying here.
ThatGuyWhoEngineers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:17:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't hold it any longer after it said Kinder Surprise Sorry
insan3soldiern ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:48:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't laughed so hard in a while, holy shit.
Aioni ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't often genuinely laugh uncontrollably at things I see on the internet. Maybe once every few months. This fucking link though. It made me keel over laughing. Thank you for sharing.
anonpf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:03:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks to this post, I now have co-workers wondering who the hell is in the third bathroom stall laughing like a hyena. I don't want to leave the stall.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking crying
Projecterone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahaha fuck, I'm dying.
rocklou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely one of the funniest things ever.
10000ofhisbabies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His actually made me lol, which is not common for Internet posts! Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
stripeydogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google "Kinder surprise reddit" and I think its the second listing.Enjoy!
PouponMacaque ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't laughed like that in a while.
TheBreadSmellsFine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG I AM CRYING! I really needed that laugh, so thank you. I love you.
BobFlex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should not have read that at work. That was one of the hardest posts to not laugh uncontrollably at in the middle of the office.
gr8banter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't want that to end lmao
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually cried and nearly had some sort of abdominal eruption because of this. Thank you, you've made my evening.
JoveOfDroit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It is like I am literally giving her a reason to break up with me" I am dead ahahaha
salawm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard it hurt. Thanks so much for sharing this! :-)
The_Indifferent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I didn't think I would laugh this hard. I almost just skipped it at the beginning because I thought it would have been boring. Jesus I had tears in my eyes.
BardleyMcBeard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking dead from laughing
wewillnotrelate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just had my appendix out.. I don't think I was meant to laugh this hard, this close to abdominal surgery. That was the best fail I've seen in a long time.
VikingBear0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why couldn't he get the wrap out of the chocolate?
pandemonium91 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:15:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wrap wasn't perfectly smooth and the chocolate dripped into the folds in an irregular shape.
VikingBear0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooh interesting, thankyou!
hydraloo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:36:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost vomited from laughter
yadda4sure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never seen this one before but I laughed my ass off
RedditGotWings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh ma gawd... this had me laughing in tears in the middle of the night dude! Thanks for sharing. SAVED!
arcticmonkeybird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaah. Thank you, I needed this !
bgb3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the laugh mate!
milkradio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm wheezing, but damn if that isn't still romantic as shit, especially this part: "Put a little note saying how much you love her blahblahblah." Need me a bf like this.
AllDayDreamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm crying now hahaha ๐
JugglerCameron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good idea horrible execution...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god! I woke up my whole family because I was laughing that hard.
coocoo99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on the shitter at work, with someone else beside me on the shitter and what struggle it is to hold in my laughter.
The_Original_Yeti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, that had me dying by the end!
himynameis_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cut open one side of the mould and pull out the balls"
LMAO that was hilarious.
redditbrek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. Not sure why this is so funny but I'm crying with laughter!
Declanhx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to actually do this:
Step 1: Buy a freezer and remove the shelves.
Step 2: Get a cheap large bucket and fill it with water, let it freeze for a few days.
Step 3: Take the frozen water bucket out of the freezer, and go to work carving out an egg shape.
Step 4. Heat up some chocolate, and start layering it over the ice egg while still in the freezer, make the layers thick, use different colours of chocolate to make it easier to cover.
Step 5: drill a hole into the bottom so that the ice is exposed, hold up the egg so that it can't tip over or break apart and leave it at room temperature to melt the water.
embynaj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For step 5, leave it in the FRIDGE to melt the water. The water will melt without worry about the chocolate accidentally melting or becoming too soft.
Declanhx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You smart
squrr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You almost killed me, you bastard! Take my upvote.
NicksStick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying
2u3e9v ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost shit the bed from laughing so hard
Not_A_Meme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lol'd, great share, upvoted.
CaptainQuadPod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just laughed so hard at work I couldn't breath. Finally got it under control and read "It is like I am literally giving her a reason to break up with me." and lost it again.
Now I have to show it to all my coworkers after that loud public display.
TehFiretruck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:26:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was walking with my parents and I had to stop on 10 separate occasions because I was laughing too hard
AGuyWithAPhone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:48 on September 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit, I'm laughing like a crazed maniac in class.
stripeydogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:27 on September 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to hear it! Just curious how you stumbled across such an old comment?
AGuyWithAPhone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:43 on September 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Filtered AskReddit by top posts this year, scrolled down this thread.
Dunksterp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I proper lol'd!
TsarKeith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what had happened but your link doesn't bring me to anything to do with kinder eggs. Just random imgur posts
stripeydogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google "Kinder surprise reddit" and its the second listing.
TsarKeith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:37 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a god amongst humans, bless you
MulberryPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/DiWHY seems fitting
correcthorsestapler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when this was posted. I believe this was the post that started that subreddit.
Slyric_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting a link to a picture of Switzerland, wtf?
FiliaSecunda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still chocolate, I'd still eat it (as long as I trusted myself to avoid that plastic wrap).
slublueman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude should have just used a balloon...
longtermbrit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Kinder Surprise Sorry"
correcthorsestapler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thus r/DIWHY was born (IIRC).
OfeyDofey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what in the hell is a kinder surprise... I still don't know
stripeydogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A chocolate egg with a toy inside.
ComboCosmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this was what I was hoping for in this thread
ChironXII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"sorry"
NocturnalToxin ยท 1618 points ยท Posted at 13:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under a mountain of /r/porninfifteenseconds gifs, I found this cute, funny safe for work gif
AceUK ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:50:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' Trash Pandas.
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 21:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the FUCK NSFW
whangadude ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:47:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Serious_Senator ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:00:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amaaaaaazing
MandalorianBobaTea ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought it was the gif where the guy tries to feed a raccoon and it bites him
Pearberr ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 20:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was the cotton candy one where the raccoon goes to wash it and the candy disappears.
Patientx74 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:39:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nooo What ;-; The poor thing must have been so confused
_Notmy_realaccount_ ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so sad):
milkradio ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:18:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, he figured out on the third try that he didn't need to wash cotton candy.
oraldirtyboy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:40:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy was lucky. You don't want a raccoon anywhere close to your fingers.
milkradio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:19:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raccoons are basically Toronto's unofficial animal, so I was not at all surprised at this plot twist. Cheeky little shits, they are.
JennIsFit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greedy little bandit.
myrden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I put porn in my hidden folder that way the saved one can be for all the other stuff.
wh0c4r35 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/ofcoursethatsathing
Ironhide75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of The Jetsons intro when she takes his whole wallet
Jack52401 ยท 9506 points ยท Posted at 08:48:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterEveryLoop/comments/5n4nuh/a_new_meaning_to_facepalm/
Gets me every time.
zbf ยท 1157 points ยท Posted at 12:26:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The main dudes smile lmao
Rahmulous ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Ian Rapoport. Notoriously annoying sports journalist who says "wow" somewhere in like every tweet. He's a meme on /r/NFL.
ManofCin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:46:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big if true
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:51:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual if factual
Nicekicksbro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What can I do, the people love me"
hypertown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like he's just so proud of himself.
haloryder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't seem to realize he's done anything wrong
Fr31l0ck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I think the knowledge of what he's done is powering that award winning smile.
ProperAdvice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like an Asian Paul Rudd
inomooshekki ยท 1500 points ยท Posted at 12:35:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The more I watch it, the funnier it gets lol poor dude, got his contacts knocked out
justclay ยท 945 points ยท Posted at 13:26:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some would say that it is better every loop...
Dhexodus ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:35:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We should start a subreddit.
triggerman602 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:49:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/everyloopisbetter
ARandomWhiteBoy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:41:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/asyouwatchthisgifmultipletimesitseemstogetmoreentertaining
bajaja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:36:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah noticed the disappointed guy behind the facepalmed guy? He appears only after like fourth or fifth repeat...
SarahBitchMob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it's still getting better til this day...
notcountryjosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I don't know about that, all I know is that upon viewing it again, I have enjoyed it more each time.
ticklethegooch1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree
kcf0331 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
better every boop...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get it know!!!
acog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:29:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The contrast between the incredibly self-satisfied host and the poor guy who got eye poked makes it so much better.
Stackhouse_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:06:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
turns around
internal monologue: "I'm the best wow"
motorcitymatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you say it's "/r/BetterEveryLoop...?"
starry_symphony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happened to me, with a friend hi fiving me right in my eye, and I was wearing spectacles. To make matters worse she had three inch nails and she really ended up stabbing me in the eye. My specs went slightly wonky( a screw was loosened slightly) and she ripped up a lot of my eyelashes. I suffered a really ugly looking red eye for two days. She was a strange friend.
Just_PM_ME_Pictures0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:03:16 on July 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a badger attack.
Vesalii ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 12:26:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey shit that DOES get better every loop!
wraithscelus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should make a subreddit for stuff like that.
MirroredReality ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, maybe call it something like /r/everyloopisbetterthanthelast?
wraithscelus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't think of a more eloquent of putting it.
Alpalius ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 09:17:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just spat coffee everywhere! That shit is funny.
Jack52401 ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 09:22:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at this for days. Every time I would go back and check it it would still make me laugh out loud.
FA0401 ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 10:46:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? I laughed for centuries.
Skeletor9000 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 11:58:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
angry helicopter noises
a_fish_out_of_water ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:10:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHO'S THE FACEPALM NOW, FLASH?
Iamchinesedotcom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:28:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unclear.
BatmanCabman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:31:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT
NukeML ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:36:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH I'M NOT LIKE THE FACEPALM AT ALLโฆ
SOME MIGHT SAY, I'M THE REVERSEโฆ
Calskie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea what this is a reference to but it made me laugh so hard
Skeletor9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Flash, great TV show
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:41:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? I laughed for millenia.
Daleks__ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:49:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed for an Eon.
fvcksalt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:48:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Well I laughed for INFINITY.
poopellar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:57:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I laughed for infinity plus one.
bbrown44221 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed for a whole parsec.
facetothepalm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I should be laughing.
shubs_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been laughing since the singularity was no more.
bbrown44221 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What exactly do you mean WAS?
shubs_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Big Bang
SheepleAreSheeple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always been laughing. And will continue until the heat death of the universe.
HolyTacos8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't laugh out loud at all... Is there something wrong with me?
Mr_Eggs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eobard? /r/FlashTV has breached again!
InvisibleShade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thawne?
oculus_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just the guy who shot himself to kill thawne
HateCopyPastComments ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:54:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you didn't.
NeedHelpWithExcel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAE LE spit coffee? XD
professor_rumbleroar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ian Rapoport (the man doing the hitting) is my husband's cousin by marriage. I've never asked him about this, but I will definitely have to! He's such a great guy, so I'm sure he felt terrible about this, but it's also hilarious.
chevestong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please deliver
one_time_chad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really is better with every loop!
Cpt_Tsundere_Sharks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:57:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor guy just got face swatted. Holy crap.
phlegming11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this
Nightmare_Pasta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
goddammit rapaport
Orionator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What gets me is the reporter's face afterward.
natedawg247 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you just click top the first like 100 posts on /r/bettereveryloop are pure gold
theunambiguous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA Request
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when this was first posted but I still laugh my ass off every time. Saved.
bbm72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets him every time
General_Pants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the guy to the left who just retracts his hand like "fuck that I ain't getting slapped"
Master_Cheif117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one never fails to crack me up
captainredbeered ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So glad you included the comments
eSDLoco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is Tony Romo punching Filthy Frank?
naked_avenger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember the first time I saw this. It just got funnier and funnier. Still holds up.
Ed_ButteredToast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you saved a post of mine. I'm the OP lol. I feel honored _^
krafty123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck! Dude got NAILED.
NukaWax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BAM!!!
_StatesTheObvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And THAT is how you do it!
eastbayted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full-contact eye five!
sammyblinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that guy went to my high school omg
BCmutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laugh every time I see this, watch it again, and laugh harder. There's just so much story happening in such a small amount of time.
100292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap I'm like 99% sure that's my cousin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best BEL post I've seen by far
memeperor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The black guy behind him is questioning whether he should lift his hand up or not
fjedb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm totally saving this to steal your karma next time this thread gets posted, thanks.
chunalt787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the same guy that project veritas just busted?
mach0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in tears, thank you
CuteThingsAndLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that one also gets me lmfao
tapdancingintomordor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
sherlockeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy in the back is trying to protect himself
Dikmunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the face of a man who might've lost his contact
y2k2r2d2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha NPC like character.
FennlyXerxich ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Ted Cruz?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:31:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i cant find the words to tell you how much i hate his face. Its so punchable holy shit. Not just that but there's something specific about this mans attitude combined with his expressions combined with his actualy appearance that just makes him so hateable. God I hate his face so much. He looks exactly like the asshole little guy you'd have at school or something. Fuck
_monkey_ninjas_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that way about the guy at the baseball game that comes from no where to pointlessly help the player up, then knocks a lady's phone out of her hand and spills someone else beer. Gaaaaah I hate that guy.
ringob82 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is.....is that.....you know who? A certain individual that will never give you up nor let you down?
chansollee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that's Ian Rapoport. He's an ESPN writer who mainly covers NFL stuff.
cmeilleur1337 ยท 2107 points ยท Posted at 12:35:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This http://i.imgur.com/zdrERuX.gifv
Latheos ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:21:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear gods that's funny. I may have injured myself laughing.
Cryptonat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:42:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I 'hear' this in an Australian accent with a few mates thrown in for good measure.
cmeilleur1337 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Twat leads me more to British then Ausie
Retroshock_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:11:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're Australian magpies though
dragonsandgoblins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:30:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Aussie, I say "twat".... you twat.
cmeilleur1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian and I say Twat. I like Twats. Maybe I should visit the land down under and get some appreciation for twat culture.
dragonsandgoblins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard good things about Canada as well, maybe there are some twat exchange programs we could take advantage of seeing as we both live in commonwealth nations.
cmeilleur1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, The great twat Exchange.. I Fell like there is a reddit switcheroo on the horizon, too lazy to find it tho lol. Edit: Also, you are now tagged as Ausie TWAT
dragonsandgoblins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awww thanks, you seem like a good bloke so I give you permission as an Australian to call me "cunt", mate. If you'd like
VLKBlackDove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best one here.
M-Thing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
logged in to upvoat this. what birds are those anyway.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:15:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Magpies, Australian
SolomonGrumpy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's Batman.
PGSylphir ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:31 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Batpie. (Batman + Magpie)
iWizardB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:02 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping for a Spiderman kiss reference.
Bignicky9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:34 on July 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have /u/SovietWomble narrate this
Wagodsm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:28 on November 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this like bubbles and Ricky off trailer park boys
KeeperofAmmut7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL!
PuddinTater69 ยท -57 points ยท Posted at 22:13:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gifs like these are so much better without the subtitles
nikELBroke ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The subtitles are actually what's so brilliant about these...
PuddinTater69 ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 23:50:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really beg to differ. I usually don't find them funny and don't like having a plot forced onto it
yonzzzz4 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:10:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
AltLogin202 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I agree... I have a friend that doesn't speak english but is obsessed with bird gifs. I'd feel like a jerk sending this with gibberish subtitles.
PM_YOUR_SMILE_2ME ยท 7566 points ยท Posted at 11:42:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to moonwalk:
http://m.imgur.com/RqYHJ2S?r
[deleted] ยท 1172 points ยท Posted at 13:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... it can't be that simple, can it?
DrDoctor13 ยท 2133 points ยท Posted at 14:01:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It takes lots of practice to do it as smooth is MJ could, but that's basically it. It's an optical illusion.
n67 ยท 1452 points ยท Posted at 14:07:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, he could move.
dabobbo ยท 998 points ยท Posted at 17:02:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out this rehearsal video, the moonwalk he does here is otherworldly.
Wiegraf86 ยท 433 points ยท Posted at 18:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok jesus christ, even after KNOWING HOW IT'S DONE from the OP, i still can't read his feet movements. I believe he was magical... period...
thatcrit ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 20:51:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's insane. It gets a biiit clearer for me when I take into account that it has a lot to do with everything above his waist being PERFECTLY still except for the arms, and head slightly leaned forward that adds to the whole WTF effect when he's moonwalking, but even with that into account, it's just sick.
sardu1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:56:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
see how his neck stretches forward though?
Excal2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:28:16 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The impressive part is that he's holding his torso completely still, only using the weight of his head and arms with a very limited range of motion as a mechanism for counterbalance.
He's balancing with unordinarily limited use of his center of gravity, which is a feat in and of itself. The magic comes from the complexity of his movement while maintaining this ungainly stance, and how absolutely effortless he is able to make it look.
CRISPY_BOOGER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play it at .25x
mirshe ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like someone just picked him up and did a drag-drop onto another part of the screen.
Columbae ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:57:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MJ was basicly the world's most famous mime (and that's on top of the singing)
Solid_Freakin_Snake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:36:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only appropriate word here
dropkickhead ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:18:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can also see a well done airwalk here leading into the moonwalk. It's the illusion of walking while remaining in place, which is a little more difficult to do. Guy was a natural there's no debate to that
linotype ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:15:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Video posted by
ะะฐะนะบะป ะะถะตะบัะพะฝ
heh heh
mouldy_fingers ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:56:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously the dude had to have been walking on butter.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm now convinced MJ wasn't even real
LuxurySobriquet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:56:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I misread this as 'reversal video' and thought he was going to be moonwalking forward
osnapitsjoey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can do that shit all day dude. Doesn't draw the same crowd though
Vinkol23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit
Ne1nLives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What song is playing in the background?
GodOfTheGoons ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jam by Michael Jackson
Music video ft Michael Jordan
Ne1nLives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
Four_Minute_Mile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So smooth, it's like he's on a travelator
VexedVagabond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another awesome artist, Poppin Hyun Joon:
https://youtu.be/tE46-Vzm4S4
osnapitsjoey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wrap my fucking head around it.
God damn he could dance.
Aeroshaq1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucks.
meghonsolozar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the fucking jamiroquai video but without the fucking treadmill what the fuck
emaciated_pecan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he looks like a video game character
njggatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:59 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an awful lot of fog for rehearsal.
Mr_Fitzgibbons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:53 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ever seen Bram Stoker's Dracula? The scene where Dracula shaves Keanus beard? Dracula floats like that. MJ could float like Dracula, but backwards
DrDoctor13 ยท 444 points ยท Posted at 14:20:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truly a master of performing.
DemonEggy ยท 400 points ยท Posted at 17:25:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, you've probably seen a hundred videos of dancers who are a LOT more skilled. Dancers doing utterly baffling moves. But none of them has the style of MJ. He was magical.
DrDoctor13 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 17:38:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the energy, and while his most famous videos (Smooth Criminal, Thriller) have this fantastic crowd choreography, it's just them mimicking MJ. He's got enough energy on his own for just himself to be captivating. Check out the banned Panther dance.
LyricalWillow ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:20:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know why it was banned? I'm curious.
dazeeem ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:31:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to add on to the other dudes comment, people were shocked by the 'aggressive sexual nature' of it; the part where he grabs his crotch and then zips up his pants was interpreted as masturbation.
DrDoctor13 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This version of the video appears to be censored, but it had lots of provocative dancing on Michael's behalf and lots of graphic imagery, such as Nazi symbols and "nigger go home" spraypainted on things. Michael's destruction of property was supposed to symbolize his rage at the hatred that's consumed our country, but the media took it the wrong way and it spun out of control.
Ehkoe ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:14:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. The racial messages were digitally added after the outcry to give "meaning" to his acts of violence.
Jackson was on record saying that the destruction was meant to represent a panther's animalistic behavior.
DrDoctor13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the case? I've seen both versions with both explanations.
zoomer296 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like an early meme gone wrong.
LyricalWillow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:29:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
DemonEggy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant...
scarletice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:46:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I don't think I have ever seen a performance like this before. It's simultaneously dripping of primal sexuality while having very little in the way of graphic or gratuitous imagery.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain to me why "primal sexuality" matters? In art and so on?
Everybody fucks. Sure it's fun and makes new people, but beyond that, why does it matter so much? Is it a guy thing?
scarletice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it doesn't really matter any more than any other artistic expression. I would be equally impressed if I saw an equally skillful performance of someone using dance to convey a sense of soul crushing depression without using any unhappy facial expressions or sad music. My main source of awe stems from the skill and style exhibited, not necessarily the subject matter. Although, I guess you may be referring to prevalent sexuality is in music and dance. To that I would say that sexuality is a very core aspect of the human experience. It would be more surprising if it WASN'T so prevalent. Also, dance has always had its roots in sexuality. Throughout human history dance has always been a way to showcase physical health, stamina and agility. All very important things to consider in a potential sexual partner. And this goes for both men AND women.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks :)
jchabotte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember watching this when it aired!! it was a total WTF video at the time.
Mudrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember sitting in the living room with my parents and sister watching the premier of this video as it was a pretty big deal. Everyone was in an uproar afterwards about all the crotch grabbing and innuendo. I was just pumped the simpsons made an appearance.
lambeau_leapfrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's another version.
PlagueDilopho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:51 on July 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True- you've got to have skill to be able to smoothly transform from a panther into a human like that.
SplitArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:34 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When was this banned I saw this on MTV all the time back in the 90's.
SupermanAlpha ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:21:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep up with tons of different dancers and styles. I've followed MJ my entire life. What I've found is that most of the new funk style/pop dancers are reliant on special sounds in the songs to "highlight" their moves. Also, their moves are all kind of planned.
Don't get me wrong, there are some AMAZING dancers out there and I'd never take that away from them (being a dancer myself). However, Michael WAS the music. Outside of the choreographed sections Michael never repeated the same moves. I've watched 100's of his concerts and never does he perform the same setups. It's baffling and the magic is that he really was one with music.
This is something I think most audience members pick up subconsciously. They're aware that there is magic there but they can't grasp what it is. Michael isn't counting the beats or planning the steps. He's simply letting the music guide him. Dancers come and go. Great dancers are emulated. Michael, Michael was another level.
GameQb11 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:55:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best explanation of that "it" that Michael had that separates him from other , even more skilled, dancers.
DemonEggy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:15:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're spot on. He wasn't doing a routine, he was dancing to the music.
Julius-n-Caesar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MJ had aura. Probably every Bollywood actor can Moonwalk or easily learn to do so just cause of how much they dance. But not everyone is MJ.
shadowarc72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my opinion it's that he was "first", I'm sure not actually the first ever but one of the first big names to dance like that.
That and also he was an amazing performer as you said and that definitely added a lot to it.
lovesickremix ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even thought I love Mike'sโ dancing...I have to give credit to the original hardest performer...and Mike's friend/teacher James Brown. He danced his feet off and still could sing during. As much as I love Mike he had a hard time singing and dancing.
DrDoctor13 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the explanation for that is because James Brown is using his feet. He's dancing a lot, but he seems like he's mostly using his feet and lower body. With training, you can still sing and move your feet quickly without messing up your pitch. Michael's choreography, on the other hand, is much more full-body. The Smooth Criminal routine, for example, uses every part of the body. It's very hard to keep pitch while doing that.
Both great performers, though.
5redrb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a truly gifted performer.
glahtiguy ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:55:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty potato-vision because of the age but I've always liked this video of him, really shows how good he really was.
outofbananas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the performance in which he debuted his moonwalk! The crowd goes pretty crazy right when they see it.
MarmeladeFuzz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here's his mentor, Bob Fosse, in The Little Prince, but set to Billie Jean.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MarmeladeFuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really does! And contrary to what the comments on that video say, MJ always gave Fosse a ton of credit for his dance style.
e8ghtmileshigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mentor?
MarmeladeFuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I guess not. I remembered reading about how MJ tried to get him to direct his videos etc and thought their relationship was closer than it was.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:15:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And sing. A well rounded entertainer
Iceman_B ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was Michael fucking Jackson. He could move.
jonneygee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leather-soled shoes help a lot too. Youโd be amazed how much easier they glide than rubber soles.
n67 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I tried doing it in my sneakers. Way too grippy.
JuanPRamirez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If someone could get a gif perfectly timed it would look like he is movkmg both away and forward...
hisgrossness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
moves as smooth as a baby's bottom...
Cruella_Davila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My thought exactly
Nicksterx8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could scarcely believe my eyes
imbreaststroke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch his neck!
dub_side ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:05:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and touch kids
BthreePO ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part is the obvious super villain at 4:09
Doorknob11 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:50:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never understand how he can move his lower body so much without his upper body not moving at all.
InjuredGingerAvenger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has well developed trunk stability muscles (basically everything below your rib cage leading down to your knees). Even people who work out a lot often don't fully exercise these muscles. If those muscles are well exercised, movements like this are much easier (of course practice and natural coordination are also essential to look as good as MJ). Even if they're strong, you need to practice engaging the groups individually and stretching to keep those muscles limber enough to have the same range of motion.
If you do all that, you'll still not be MJ because you're probably not the 1 in however many thousand with his natural talent and even if you are, you haven't been a professional entertainer with dancing a part of your performance since you were a small child.
With the right exercise and practice, you could probably pull off a lot of his moves and look decent.
Doorknob11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As cool as it sounds to do. I'm way to lazy to do that.
matroxman11 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:21:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of those girls are so excited they're crying. Holy shit.
SixEightPee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:37:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never understood why girls cry like that. But in a way, I'm kind of envious because I don't think I've ever been that excited about something.
LyricalWillow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crying is a cathartic release....so whenever emotions are high, it's a way to calm back down. At least, that's how it is for me...but I've never cried at a concert so don't take my word for it.
lemoncocoapuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that cried like that and I found it super strange. She said she would bring extra hoodies to sob into because they would get soaked? Like wtf haha. I cry at sad things, but music like that is not one of those things, crying is like last on my list because I'm usually so excited?
DrDoctor13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should've seen Beatlemania at its pinnacle.
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Lisztomania before that. Poor guy couldn't keep a nice pair of gloves.
Girthquake42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl on my Facebook said she was bawling like a baby because she finally got to see a dolphin in real life.. I was like, holy shit, chill. It's a dolphin.
my_unique_user_id ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how mangled people, and the hat, were
TheHYPO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One thing I always though made MJ's moonwalk very effective is that on his first step, he would bring his front foot only back about halfway to meet his back foot before switching feet which would give the appearance that his front foot almost "kickstarted" the moonwalk. He also was extremely skilled at isolation in ensuring his upper body moved precisely backwards at a constant rate independent of his feet. This a whole separate skill to the footwork. Finally, he was really good at having the 'lifted' foot move dynamically not just keeping it frozen with the heel in the air - at times he would almost be on his toe on that raised foot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smooth shoes and a smooth floor help.
firesquasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never noticed the awkward neck extension. I can watch the feet anymore.
iwan2gohome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's crazy he died less than 20 years after that performance
love2go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember watching him do it live for the first time. People completely lost their minds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh! Eh! Ow! Eh!
Nox_Stripes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, he absolutely mastered it
BillyDa59 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:34:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's counter intuitive to rest your weight on your toes and move the flat foot. It's basically the opposite of how you've practiced walking forever, so it feels weird to learn, even when you're doing it right.
dethmaul ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:50:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But for the viewer, the dichotomy is what makes the illusion so god damned cool :) At first glance, a watcher can't fathom the strange sliding.
I think i used dichotomy correctly lol
NathaNRiveraMelo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:17:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you did
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 14:59:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its super super super super easy to do. Like really goddamn easy. Just make sure your shoe soles arent too grippy on your current floor. The slipperier the better.
It really is ridiculously simple and easy. Might be THE number one easiest thing you could possibly learn that could impress other people the most when you look at return of investment.
Abbbjk ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to make me feel like a dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:59:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's my utmost pleasure.
JazzIsPrettyCool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's super easy too!
The_Ibele ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:50 on November 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slippery shoes/floor are key. I've had the best luck with dress shoes because they often have a leather/faux-leather sole.
Tamespotting ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:23:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be in loafers or some smooth bottom shoes though.
53bvo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it is quite easy. But not easy to make it look super smooth, that would take some practice.
OccasionallyWitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What MJ did was take a simple technique and elevate it to the point of absolute mastery. You're looking at potentially hundreds of hours of practice doing one very easy thing over and over again until it appears effortless.
In a similar vein, one of my favorite magic tricks takes only one extremely easy move to do. The difference is that the magician spent literal months practicing just that one move until it's so subtle that you don't even notice it.
Voittaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How
OccasionallyWitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers Ahead:
The move is after they're mixed up when he's shuffling through them and getting Penn and Teller to pick a card. He's got the cards slightly fanned out in his hand, and all the cards in that fan are face-up. Underneath that fan is a card that he uses as a "divider." When he's riffling through them, he's actually sorting the cards on either side of that divider card - the face-up ones go on top and the face-down ones go on the bottom. The exception to this is Penn and Teller's cards. Had they put them back into the deck face up, it would have gone on the bottom, and had they put them in face down, they would have gone on top.
This sorts the cards into two piles in his hand, a face up pile and a face down pile. At around 4:05 in the video you can see him flip the face-down pile around in his hand, so now the deck is all facing one direction, except for Penn and Teller's cards which were sorted wrong, and are therefore face-down in the pile.
EDIT: I was explaining the trick from memory and not watching the video at the time. The "fan" I mentioned does not, in fact, contain only face-up cards for him, but the move is still the same. My explanation for how he does that that is pure black magic. Kostya Kimlat is a wizard.
joshi38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:07:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The basics are surprisingly simple to learn, you could probably do it after a short Youtube video, but it takes work to really perfect it to the level that MJ did it.
RetardedRedditRetort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You will be surprised once you try it
truth__bomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A big part of it to is loving your hands and arms to A) distract viewers from any clunkiness and B) to give the impression that you're pushing yourself backwards.
TheFifthTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, the fundamental footwork of most urban dance styles utilizes the heel-toe, where one leg is straight and rests on the heel when the other is bent and elevated on the toe.
Using what OP posted, you can glide backward, sideways, in a circle, etc.
SlothropsKnob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The balance is tricky. During the push, when the rear foot is gliding, your entire weight is over you forward toe. The motion is easy. Hitting the balance and making it look smooth is a killer.
_PM_ME_TUITIONMONEY_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you just put your weight on your toes and keep your sliding foot flat and weightless.
zcrx ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're fat, then yes, it really is, for you.
brett84c ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 13:20:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell did Michael figure this out? I know how to moonwalk but it feels like I'm doing it wrong every time even though I'm doing it right.
edit: apparently he didn't invent it, just popularized it. TIL.
SchleftySchloe ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 13:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It predates MJ by quite a bit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonwalk_(dance)
brett84c ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, TIL
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:04:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading somewhere that he saw a mime doing this move??? And interpreted it into his "moonwalk"
I could be completely wrong though!
TheFriendlyHoloMan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:12:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I'll save it so I have it but I'll be too lazy too ever learn
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:12:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving the fuck out of THIS
minibabybuu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SAVED! I've been wanting to learn this my whole life
SynergizedSheep ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if its that important just youtube it for more detailed guide
minibabybuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a short attention span, its the main reason I haven't accomplished it yet. lol probably why I never looked it up on youtube.
_WokeUpInACar_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this glitch is patched for version 2017 cause I can't do it.
AbacusG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:02:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that is such a good explanation.
concini ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:47:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why's it called a Moonwalk? I mean, did MJ just name it randomly? Its a backslide that he popularized and now everyone calls it a moonwalk.
iStorm_exe ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 13:59:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cuz his moves were out of this world babyyyy
TheFifthTurtle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a misnomer popularized by the media. Kinda like how "breakdancing" is really "breaking" or "bboying."
What MJ did was the "back-glide" in popping, probably invented by people on the West Coast. The original moonwalk was a similar forward glide because that's what walking walking on the moon looked like in the moon landing video.
sal_mugga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:34:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
SabishiiFury ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I added that 5 years ago. Never opened that since.
burgertimeusa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decided that I don't want to know how to moonwalk.
Mortys_Plumbus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of those things I'll eagerly save and think about doing later and then never do it.
CobraKaiCurry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaand now I'm practicing moon walking in the break room at work.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how there is a comment about how men fall in love with a women, really sensitive and shit - and then there is a comment about how to moonwalk. Love the diversity of peoples saved posts.
GingMarty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
pigeondancer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems so simple but it's so hard! Why is this so hard????
Guns_and_Dank ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:10:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The basics are simple, but there are some details to it that are needed to make it look really good and smooth. The first thing is having the right hardwood or smooth floor and smooth gliding shoes. This doesn't work as well in construction boots in the mud. Second is your balance and posture, print your weight on your toes is counter-intuitive while your other foot slides back. The other thing that is tough is standing upright while you're sliding, I notice I start to lean forward as I'm moving back. As it says on the bottom, transferring your weight seamlessly is a big key to this. Like anything, just takes practice.
SameerOranges ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its based on where the weight is. Unless you get down that when you switch between the foot that is up, you need to switch all the weight onto that still foot. So that foot that is gliding back is completely unweighted and all your doing is manually smoothly gliding it back b/c it will weigh like nothing. And then you gotta pop the foot, and switch the weight again. Thats basically the gist of it, but yea it takes practice.
cloud1161 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I now saved this comment for future reference.
Joetato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck. Back in the 80s, when I was a kid and right after Thriller had been released (and MJ's popularity was gigantic), I remember seeing this thing on TV on how to do the Moonwalk. I taped it with my VCR and watched it over and over, trying to do a moonwalk.
they very specifically said put all your weight on the flat foot and move the lifted foot backwards. They told me to do it literally the exact opposite of the right way. I spent freaking HOURS using that method trying to moonwalk, and it always looked like complete ass, it looked horrible.
Ugh.
iAnonymousGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how many levels of meta am i on if i save a post in a thread about saved posts?
PM_YOUR_SMILE_2ME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is, I did the same.
Lemonpiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saved
Big_Poo_MaGrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I did too!
TheHereticMime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta save this.
-----iMartijn----- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
I need to impress my wife today and this will do the trick.
Jerrycobra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man I always moved my raised foot, no wonder
loppyrunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the mechanics! How do I get my legs to do it?!?!
AssyMcFlapFlaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yet, i still cant do it
Wolf2489 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
KPABA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for ruining the magic for me, asshole. have an upvote
Sandman4999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*bookmarks
faaiz20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And saving this so I can find my future wife on the dance floor
ukbiffa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative method: (1m52s for the technique) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJW_yTbYGoI
Jorask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD
Jeremopolis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm too damn clumsy, must take practice
earthlings_all ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy mack, thanks reddit
irrelevant_spiderman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait to drink 13 beers and bust this out.
Lamalover41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes it look so simple! I know what I'll be trying to do later in the day.
ozick3552 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:38 on August 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this
PM_Me_Amazon_Code ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:05:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned how to moonwalk.
Wait, directions to clear; broke my legs showboating.
estier2 ยท 5718 points ยท Posted at 10:19:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ukrainian Military Band - A Cruel Angle Thesis
JoeLasDome ยท 874 points ยท Posted at 13:00:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is glorious
frothface ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:58:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine the satisfaction of having recorded that, not knowing what they were going to play and thinking, 'maybe it will be good, and I'll want to watch it again later'.
01001100_0101000 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:04:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
dropkickhead ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My man!
KoalaSnoopers ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:50:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slow down!
lscat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking good
rajikaru ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also not real. The music is taken from another video.
FlamingCh1cken ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:42:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless, the dancing is pretty hilarious :D
shotgunlewis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Evangelion, my favorite anime! Watch the movies or the whole series if you have time. Changed my outlook on life!
Junk-Bot_7 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also fake lol
Sven_the_mediocre ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhhhhh, let people enjoy things
FallenAngelII ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:22:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what they were originally playing.
Hamster_Furtif ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always feel like the sound was added on top of a completely unrelated video...
I also really like this one.
andehh_ ยท 368 points ยท Posted at 13:50:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one you linked is the audio used in OPs video.
This is the original dancing video
PM_ME_YOUR_MASS ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 14:09:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, that's just as good
slockley ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 14:40:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of better. I was thinking, "how do they let a man dance off-beat in an orchestra? Isn't synchronicity the fundamental concept of a large music ensemble?" This one is a relief.
MayorCraplegs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Katy Perry let that kid dance off beat with weak ass moves at some award show.
e8ghtmileshigh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You keep using that word...
kvachon ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 14:18:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes it so much better. Bon Jovi knows no borders.
ProbeBeepBoopSeven ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:38:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sad now. I actually believed the Ukranians loved Neon Genesis Evangelion so much they actually did the whole dance and song thing. Such is life.
apcat91 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that It's my Life? Crap now it's even better!
Lyriian ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:25:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, was this song not written specifically for the opening of neon genesis evangelion?
A_Mouse_In_Da_House ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 15:40:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll find military bands are full of nerds.
random600 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:40:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also this is a Japanese Military band. So far less weird for them to be playing it than a Ukrainian Military band.
thepyrodex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ukrainians can like good anime too
ohlookaregisterbutto ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:08:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was.
JakeSteele ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:29:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NGE came out in... wait for it... 1996. 21 years.
lovesickremix ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:10:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There will be pornstars and strippers that were born in 2000 ...man. I still remember Y2K vividly
narf3684 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just left me sitting here thinking, "Man, there has to be pornstars born in 2000." Until I did the math and figured out that would be no bueno.
lovesickremix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One more year and then yes
deynataggerung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm I crazy or do they just totally ignore the conductor for the intro section? That doesn't look synced at all
pwasma_dwagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it was :)
realfilirican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if any military band is going to play A Cruel Angel's Thesis, it best be a Japanese one.
MilesWiseacre ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mornin, Angle.
jsnlxndrlv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[points into hat] "Hey, that weren't me."
unsheathed_reddit ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimmil_walruslord ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:00:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ukrainian Cab Calloway right there.
HeyPScott ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:39:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะัะธะฒัั ะฟัะธะฒัั ะฟัะธะฒัั ะฟัะธะฒัั
Gimmil_walruslord ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:42:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะฏ ะฝะต ะณะพะฒะพัั ะฟะพ-ััะฐะปัะนััะบะธ
erekul ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boggles my mind how similar that is to russian while also being so different. Kinda sits in the uncanny valley.
wmr0225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They really are quite similar. I'm not expert in either, but definitely tons of similarities.
dizzley ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:36:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is perfect.
estier2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:47:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't we all?
dizzley ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:08:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Ukranian band leader perfect.
tapdancingintomordor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:08:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself.
Malkhet ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I remember the band is doing a Bon Jovi song and the audio comes from some Japanese Naval band or coast guard thing
cheezeebred ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:46:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a cover of the Evangelion intro song
PunxsatownyPhil ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, by a Japanese coast guard band.
estier2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:05:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. But this is like Santa, don't take the illusion from the people.
NoviceElectromancer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:40:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best argument for multiculturalism I have ever seen.
fr33tim3 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:56:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting something to do with angles.
LoBsTeRfOrK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YUUUU KAAAA TEEEEE MEEE NAAAA YAAAAAA
LeviAEthan512 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:08:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. I feel like not enough people recognised that song or you'd be higher up in this thread. I feel slightly proud that I could pick up where the verses start even after all these years
esmifra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:16:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that evangelion?
estier2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!
shotgunlewis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch the movies! And the whole series of you have time. It'll change your worldview
Cabotju ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is absolutely incredible, he's throwing up his hands like he just don't care.
What's that song from, it sounds famous or anime like
Namika ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:38:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's from an "classic" anime, and the song itself is probably of the most famous anime theme songs: https://youtu.be/jYZfeY8Vg0E
Pretty beautiful song, the anime is extremely depressing though.
ozucon ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:43:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The anime is only depressing if you aren't depressed, it seems like
ohnoitsjimbo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:39:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're depressed, it's actually quite uplifting. Shinji's growth is quite touching.
ozucon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:43:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, I would definitely agree
WyatTheR10T ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rei is bae.
GalaxyGuardian ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:35:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does it feel to be objectively wrong?
blaarfengaar ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:42:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asuka best girl, Rei = trash
gr33nss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this where that congratulations meme comes from? Looks like similar character styles there.
Namika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the congratulations thing is actually the closing scene of the show. If you listen carefully they even play the same theme song in the background (instrumental) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDajqW561KM
estier2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:30:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Evangelion something. The song is called "A Cruel Angel Thesis"
_Nerex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:12:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neon Genesis Evangelion*
ThisJawnThatJawn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:27:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะกะปะฐะฒะฐ ะฃะบัะฐัะฝั!
wmr0225 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:22:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะะะ ะะฏะ ะกะะะะ! ๐บ๐ฆ๐บ๐ฆ
ThisJawnThatJawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะกะปะฐะฒะฐ ะะฐััั !!
Cloudy_mood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:10:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this so funny? I can't stop watching it.
estier2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know to be honest. But it makes me smile when I am sad :)
Perry_cox29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:09:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you like this, do yourself a favor and check out the Mnozil Brass
holdthefish ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:45:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some Dr. Evil shit
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:08:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck did I just watch?
estier2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesomeness in form of a
RussianUkrainian military dancer!GRANDCHILDREN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It says right there: UKRAINIAN
estier2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. How could I not notice after even posting it myself.
enthius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what Russia said when they invaded Crimea!
estier2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Da! (warning loud)
NoRollTom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:24:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want this band for my wedding.
awesome357 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fukin saved. Thank you.
gurgaue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He actually does a few moves I wanna learn for shuffling
numismatic_nightmare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That dude's got some moves that would make PSY proud.
Immortal888 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha this is awesome. Seriously though, Shinji get in the fucking robot.
xxxyyqqq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the best version (dnb)
https://youtu.be/WhYi9KitTU8
Kurayami666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a joy, thank you
xiams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was surprised by the lyrics here: https://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/neongenesisevangelion/acruelangelsthesis.htm
lieutenantowned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:17:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did a cover of this song but did it in English and it's amazing
https://youtu.be/ZmJ5oBdJTXQ
bahgheera ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:19:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US Marine Corps Party Band does things like this. If you live in the states and they have a demonstration nearby, I definitely recommend seeing them.
IOFIFO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is the original https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WHUNE7Dq0A
estier2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thanks! :D
AlbinoOrphans ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:31:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you're at 9 points in Catan and use your last remaining cards to draw a Victory Point
gunjr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing
yaredw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yes, that's gonna be a lasting smile on my face this morning.
estier2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D
Twatson8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is mine now
QuestionMarkyMark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck is this?! It's AWESOME!
storyofmylife92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
durpenhowser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is glorious. Thank you
estier2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you man!
ccanonguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy knows how to party
potatoslasher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its.....amazing...
ikeandclare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have seen everything now.
estier2 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there are:
Advanced CQB Techniques
and
And here a video about a German special Force singing about knocking your door down
ShadowShatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this. I could have gone my whole life with this missing.
soaringtyler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good god!
thunderbuddy7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you.
X4nthor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh god, thank you for posting this, this is just great!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's even spelled right on the YouTube video. How'd you do that?
NikhilDoWhile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Started from Cruel Angle Thesis, no I am at Rainer Hersch. YouTube
Rusty-Shackleford ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They totally deserve to be on Eurovision.
WhifleBallTony ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask what's going on?
ccbcc814 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thankyou so much. I couldnt find this a while back and have been searching for the longest time for it.
danbeerpig69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the guy from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones?
mylifeisaparty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, can anyone tell me what that symbol is on the banner in the background? There's a dude at my gym who has the same symbol tattooed on his arm and I've always wondered what it was.
estier2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is the Ukrainian coat of arms.
Jeans_Intelligence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely fucking incredible
WASTELAND_RAVEN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never expected to see something like this but I'm glad I did, thank you for the share. lol
-RandomPoem- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAD ONE JOB
estier2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I CAN'T WORK UNDER PRESSURE!
hgrub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I click on that link. Made my shitty day a little better. TIL: you can dance to A Cruel Angle Thesis
glowingegg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!
Jakuskrzypk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like a hard rock maybe even metal or punk band with a bad ass song. It's kinda the opposite.
nedjeffery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the first half I was thinking 'why does this music sound so familiar?' when I finally figured it out it just increased the WTF factor by 10x.
Cromodileadeuxtetes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the Evangelion theme!
Battousaii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made my day thank you
daredaki-sama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most unexpected thing
patrdesch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what did i just watch?
DickieIam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the dancing guy?
djhankb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!!! I just sung along in Japanese.
ICONZxWILEY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I.... I'm complete.
janiekh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to believe that there's anyone that won't be cheered up by watching this
WithATrebuchet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im confused about what i am watching here. Like whatever it is is awesome, but could you explain whats going on
estier2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Ukrainian military band performing something, with anime intro music overlayed.
your_favorite_mexi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL all of my dance moves are from the Ukrainian military.
Myfourcats1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There should be a military band competition. It would be friendly.
ReallynotaPro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I desperately need to watch this show
psycho202 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:16 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I CAN'T STOP WATCHING THIS
THIS GUY IS JUST ENJOYING HIMSELF AN HAVIN A GOOD TIME.
MediocreAtJokes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was really not what I expected.
Spacechip ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:15:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone know the names of these dances, I want to look up youtube tutorials
[deleted] ยท 10366 points ยท Posted at 09:12:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6fg03x/people_who_have_been_fired_for_finally_losing/diia3qu/
"LADY IT'S $7.50 AN HOUR NOT TO BEAT YOUR ASS. YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE WORTH THAT RIGHT NOW!?"
holy shitpotatoea I chose well!
Audiobro ยท 1725 points ยท Posted at 13:01:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store when I was young and heard something very similar. Guy behind be customer service counter yelled "I don't make enough to keep me on this side of the counter!" at this super bitchy woman, things got very heated after that. Lots of yelling back and forth while the whole store just stopped and watched.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:21:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got fired from my families Nathans for telling an old lady I'd punch her in the face if she spit at me. We rented space at a Wal-Mart and the district manager heard the half of the conversation where I threatened an old lady. He called my dad who owned it and told him his half of the story and that they needed to fire that employee or they'd break the lease. That was a bad day.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:48:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here: I got fired from Wal-Mart because I sucker punched an old crippled lady, with a poor baby on her arms, right in the throat for absolutely nothing.
That wasn't my best day!
Reddit_means_Porn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. That sounds like when I got fired from Walmart for throwing some bitchy lady's kids at her. She was totally asking for it by annoying me. I think one of them died.
[deleted] ยท -213 points ยท Posted at 15:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. Keep the hootenanny at home among your own caste, plebs. Don't waste my time putting on an agonistic display like a silverback gorilla tearing up grass and kicking up dust over mating rights to a female. arrogantly lights fine cigar with burning $100
Johndrud ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 16:19:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is trying to make it to the top of /r/iamverysmart
Professor_Porksword ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 16:55:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see it going to /r/justneckbeardthings
VaticanCattleRustler ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:03:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฟPor que no los dos?
Seriously, those 2 are practically the same glorious sub. That's why I follow both.
undead_tortoise ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:22:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The username is icing on the cake. This guy is either 17 year old FFA member that drove his tractor to school at least once, or he used to be.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:32:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, not even on the map, but plebs never were very good at geography arrogantly slathers fine caviar onto Melba toast
DJ3XO ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:40:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, playing that fedora troll pretty good there.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! The fedora: garb of the labor caste. arrogantly doffs a Brent Black Montecristi Panama hat from the deck of a yacht
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vying for a spot on Maury, eh pleb? arrogantly wafts a snifter of brandy under nose
Keep it to yourself if you are "not the father."
ipokecows ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah just lay down snd get walked on your whole life. That'll show all the idiots in the world.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems there's 99 problems in the lower castes. Heh, heh. Your sorrows concern me not, pleb. arrogantly sips port
ipokecows ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the autism?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! A lower caste disease. I can see you're quite familiar with it. One need not worry about such things when one has blue blood arrogantly downs dram of Glenfiddich Janet Sheed Roberts Reserve 1955
thankyou_ugly_god ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:29:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you committed to the bit
skooba_steev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trolling is often a misunderstood art form, but this man is dedicated to his craft
Superflypirate ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is gonna be copypasta.
accountforjerk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:42:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. Keep the hootenanny at home among your own caste, pleb. Don't waste my time putting on an antagonistic display like a silverback gorilla tearing up grass and kicking up dust over mating rights to a female.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
agonistic, c'mon man.
accountforjerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Auto correct damned me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Auto-correct really is the worst
Superflypirate ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:43:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, I had the decency to post an easily readable copypasta. This is just a hate crime.
accountforjerk ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 18:02:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm not reading that.
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:21:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a brilliant piece of satire for a minute. Sadly, that's a minute of my life I'll never get back.
chimchar66 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:54:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mama mia, nows that's whata I calla pasta.
telesterion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:56:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right out of the expensive part of the menu
Latheos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:28:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, TL;DR takeaway here is that you're super-smart, but can't use paragraphs to break up a massive wall of text. Sure.
Superflypirate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think I wrote that?
methos3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you can get an autograph for me from our Lord and Savior Darqwolff!
Latheos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It certainly reads that way.
Red_Otaku ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:02:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR He is intellectually, morally, and philosophically better than everyone.
ignat980 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he's a brony and doesn't fight unless he has too.
ignat980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a pleasant read.
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't say
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the downvote I don't think you were obvious enough in your trolling, or was it perfect? The world may never know.
fellownpc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least 200 people are fucking idiots
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:55:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am just happy that I unite the people
Mafuskas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you're getting downvoted. I can tell that you were actually being funny.
Cpu46 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:55:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So sayeth Trucknutz69, clearly a lord amongst us common folk.
blindSniper123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao the fuck
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:55:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Laughing my ass off the fuck." Pidgin English at it's crudest. arrogantly cuts the tip off a fine cigar
mergedloki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:46 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need a new synonym for arrogantly.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:01 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! When I need advice from the rabble, I'll know my life is truly in ruin! arrogantly adjusts Cartier diamond pinky ring
mergedloki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well take this m'lord, as a gift from "the rabble"
aloof, assuming, audacious, autocratic, biggety, bossy, bragging, cavalier, cheeky, cocky, cold-shoulder, conceited, contemptuous, cool*, disdainful, domineering, egotistic, haughty, high and mighty, high-handed, imperious, insolent, know-it-all, lordly, on an ego trip, overbearing, peremptory, pompous, presumptuous, pretentious, proud, puffed up, scornful, self-important, smarty, smug, sniffy, snippy, snooty, snotty, stuck up, supercilious, superior, swaggering, uppity
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
arrogantly skims list of synonyms
The-idiots114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon
ripefigs ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot damn it felt good to be the 200th downvote on this
[deleted] ยท 598 points ยท Posted at 11:28:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glorious.
ItsaMe_Rapio ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He shall be victorious! Glorious!
TotsNotABot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:43:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if you hit the gts twice, he'll be victorious.
Ontheropes619 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:11:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the KINSASHA
j2o1707 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:38:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I won't give in, I'll get the win!
work10306 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'M VICTORIOUS!
omykun123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:20:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll light the fuse, I'll never lose.
EBPWT02 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now its in my saved section!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
save the original and give karma when needed!
ickykarma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/saved
ascetic_lynx ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
missing out on the ability to do stuff like this makes me regret actually wanting to keep my job at Chick-fil-a
Leharen ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:38:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know what job that guy had.
EskimoMedicineMan ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, funny. I was picturing an angry black woman. Am I racist???
Orion2350 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said super bitchy though, and that screams 20-50yo white lady.
sgtsnyder88 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We all are buddy, we all are
caanthedalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's just a little bit racist, it's true
King-of-Karthadasht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, looking at current research, probably.
dcgh96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm betting retail.
Chickennuggetstyle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:15:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally binge read that entire thread after reading this.
robinsunz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i worked at a place with an open kitchen and a pizza counter for a year and half. on my last day, a woman asked if we had any gluten free pizza on the counter...which was covered in flour due to the open kitchen and also had 10-20 gluten full pizzas at any given time. i looked at her and said "listen if we had gluten free pizzas mixed with the normal pizzas they would cross contaminate and that would really defeat the whole purpose of "gluten free"...so no." she complained to my manager about my "tone". yes i was impolite, yes i got fired, no, i have no regrets
WatcherSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:48 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gluten free pizzas are an abomination anyway.
robinsunz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:47 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thank you so much for this
yaavsp ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:01:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the leather whale really steal this and use it as a joke?
C0rnSyrup ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amy Schumer should given gold if she was going to steal that joke.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:06:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO. I don't know who this woman is but I'm thinking that she's not anywhere near nice.
darksideofmyspoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one had to be stewing for a while in his brain tank
jrsooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking. Saved.
DarthSamus64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
892 upvotes on entire post, 6k on that comment. Lovely.
cranberry94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It almost makes me want to get a side job in retail/service industry and wait till I crack just so I can use that line.
Except it's not worth it.
And I'd blank when the appropriate time came and just twitch frantically to find the words and miss my opportunity.
And then cry in the shower.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love selling a restricted substance (beer) as a part time job. I don't need a reason to deny you a sale if you're a dick to me at my low paying part time job, but you smelled like alcohol and stumbled when you complained about the price, get out of my store before I call the cops. I get all my anger out civilly when those people come in. I don't owe you shit, I don't get paid commission, if you get in my face you can either apologize or you can drive across town to the other beer store.
cptstupendous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, reading the comments in that thread totally stress me the fuck out. Customers can be so terrible, sometimes.
skatingturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can save comments!!! Holy shit!
Summerie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved.
cheesellama_thedevil ยท 8588 points ยท Posted at 11:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From /u/woodenial
Original link
EDIT: Wow, that's the quickest I've been gilded at only 1 upvote.
TheMightyChoochine ยท 1860 points ยท Posted at 12:50:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I give up. I'm just saving the whole thread.
TRNogger ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:46:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
RegulusMagnus ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:08:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Almost meta posted a link to this thread, but there are already thousands of comments.Eh, screw it.
EMCoupling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more efficient that way anyway. Much better to have a single saved link that can index the other threads than trying to keep them all around individually.
MyLittleCableBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But for real
reammachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I didn't think I had this.
reammachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my brain just shit the bed.
gun-nut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good call ref.
Icare0 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
johnsmithinmyass ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 13:18:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez you're lucky cuz you got guilded on a repost basically.
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got two Golds on a Lenny faces ones. Some people will gild anything.
johnsmithinmyass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here I am with no gilds but to be honest I don't post that much so
Summerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 6 golds on a photoshop once, 7 total in the comment chain.
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They sound well deserved...
Shakes8993 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You posted this hoping someone would gild you, didn't you?
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:45:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, no. I would prefer my gilded comments to be of quality. (I told the guy who gilded me for Lenny face to fuck off)
I have 10 weeks of gold left anyway.
Edit: Jesus, y'all are way too rich. Gilding just to troll me. Kindly Fuck off, thank you.
outroversion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 weeks?
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:58:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
14 weeks now.
outroversion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:08:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so lucky you can count how many weeks you have left so easily.
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/firstworldproblems
outroversion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If 16 weeks is first world, I don't even know what planet i'm on.
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, do you gild yourself from alts?
outroversion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, other people do from their normal accounts.
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all your gilded comments have like single digit upvotes wtf
outroversion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, yeah (:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well lucky you. My gold ran out yesterday and I'm already missing the premium features. I might just buy more myself.
Edit: this is the dumbest thing to get gilded for but thanks lol
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:02:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/negativegilding or some shit
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/negativewithgold
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
Dragster39 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, we can make this a top post on that subreddit. Come on reddit, we can do it! Gild him down, gild him down!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes please ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Dragster39 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(๐ อส๐)
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Your link karma is exactly 10% of your comment karma xD
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:29:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit youre right lol. That's so weird
CouldBeWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You broke it.
cewcewcaroo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What all does getting gold get you?
CouldBeWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitches.
NedryOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT FUCKING FEATURES????
I remember getting a pretty sweet discount on jerky a couple years ago on my first gild. other than that, i've been gilded 3 more times and literally don't even see any benefit from it.
adblock
mostly use mobile and actually prefer the original white theme. Otherwise there's RES dark mode, soooooo
stupid
I don't find this very useful, but some might
chrome does this automatically anyway
stupid
useless
i personally don't use saved posts but i imagine if you did and didn't have gold, there's easy ways to copy these
RES.
Seriously? What's the point? /r/all/gilded was pretty neat to look at a few years ago but like the rest of the reddit comments its become saturated with repetitive memes and random gilds for people spewing hate. So you got Themes, highlighting, and some saved post tagging and sorting, all of which you probably could set up some greasemonkey scripts for if you were really desperate for those features. I find gold entirely fucking useless.
cardamommoss ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Childhood misconceptions are the best, they are usually super funny in hindsight, like one of mine, in hindsight. I passionately loved every animal and bug I ever saw, and would occasionally come across roadkill or classmates squishing small critters and I was frequently inconsolable about the dead animals. So my parents really really played up how they all go to heaven when they die and heaven is amazing, and they aren't suffering anymore. Sounds fantastic to little me. A few months pass and some trivial thing goes wrong that I can't remember, like spilling food or not getting my way, so I think I'm suffering and I want to go to heaven where it's nice and I won't be sad. But luckily I was a stupid child, I was gonna swallow a rock and choke, but the first rock I tried wouldn't fit passed my teeth and my neighbor caught me and turned me into my parents. They were really anxious and it scared me, they told me god hates people who kill themselves, and I didn't want anyone to hate me so I didn't try that again. My innocent child brain almost made me a very sad statistic. I still think it's pretty funny though.
Countess_of_Penrose ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:29:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deep Dark Fear comic needed
StephanieStarshine ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:17:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love dick freckles
rapemybones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, and here I was thinking I was the only one. I've always had a freckle right square in the middle of my mushroom tip. When I was a teen I was super self conscious about it, like some girl would turn me down if she saw it, thinking it was an std or something. I think only one maybe two girls have ever mentioned it, and only if I've been with that girl more than a couple times. Goes to show you what you might be self conscious about others could care less about.
StephanieStarshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, I care about them. I fucking love dick freckles. I get excited about them
rapemybones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, where were you when I was a teenager lol. Where do they even come from? I thought you get freckles from sun exposure?
StephanieStarshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, how often were you naked as a small child? I've got some questionable freckles cause I never wore clothes when I was super little
rapemybones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely 4 times. Nah jk I have no clue. I guess that has to be it.
Korncakes ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:15:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit the end of that post made me laugh until I ugly cried.
Darddeac ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pwnaholic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:29:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read Robert as Richard and chuckled at the end, only to realize my mistake in the TL;DR and now I'm sad. :/
Tinfoilpain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck...
infinitezero8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:53:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So after uhh harnessing such knowledge he named his shaft, "Robert"? I mean most men name their dick Richard.
ihatethesidebar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I've read all year.
Speaker4theDead8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, so black people in Australia refer to themselves as African-American? Wouldn't you be African-Australian...
forbes52 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:15:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so you do in fact have bob and the twins..
ISOFM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I've got a mole on my penis.
CryptMonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's his name?
ISOFM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I haven't ever thought to give it one before now.
CryptMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"you could say Dennis!"
"I didn't know you were called Dennis."
"--Well you didn't bother to find out did you??"
stickwithplanb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really funny because I also have a dark brown freckle in that spot.
neonmarkov ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That story is fantastic, you deserve the gold for showing it to us!
chuckdooley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was going to end with u/woodenial showing his grandmother his penis and explaining his thought process
DJ_Mbengas_Taco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP in penis
the__storm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:40:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is surprised by how quickly he got gilded at one upvote. I guess usually it takes a couple minutes.
AbsoluteCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this was fucking weird, because I have one of those spots too. Brown, ovaloid, and smack-dab in the middle. I mean, I've never thought it was a dead person, but hey, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
Shade4809 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I upvoted not because of the content nor anything of any significance to this story or life in general. I only upvoted your post because you had exactly 4999 upvotes and I had felt a primordial requirement to set that arbitrary number to its rightful place at 5000.
tntmod54321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a freckle on my dick too!
and my sister had a twin sibling that died! i wonder who's living in my dick?
Dirte_Joe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the best tldr I have ever seen. Definitely belongs in r/nocontext
equinox234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I struggled to not burst out in laughter while reading this.
Nox_Stripes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:27:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think im having an existential crisis right now
JesseK123 ยท 1464 points ยท Posted at 14:42:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/msEKL0q.gifv Personal โfavorite of mine
Fruggles ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:21:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There a video source for this?
schering ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:40:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu2SG9XExFw Ozzy Man Review is where it comes from
h8speech ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since I'm Australian, I just can't listen to Ozzy Man Reviews. Obviously I don't notice the actual accent, so all I hear is some idiot going on and on about nothing in this weird, hysterical voice. If I actually met someone who was talking like this, I would think he was mentally ill or on drugs.
525days ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Totally read those captions in Ozzy's voice before I saw your comment.
Saelyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blacksmoke Billy on Youtube, but the subtitles are added on.
Yggdris ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:10:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh holy sweet fuck. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. I saved this whole thread, but I've also saved this comment specifically.
WalriePie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a mod for that ramp truck. I remember a cheat on an old driver game that made it so your car didn't react when hitting another car, which let you plough through cars just like this without slowing down. So much fun.
MarcelRED147 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:01:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that from?
JesseK123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GTA 5 I believe
rockidol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:48:31 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is that he yells get a job at a taxi cab.
brdzgt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phantom Wedge, v0.1 pre-alpha
Jabborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing!
tuck190 ยท 22664 points ยท Posted at 12:35:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/lupinthe8th wrote this on an ask reddit thread about ideas for a depressing pixar film 3-4years ago.
link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zmme1/z/cfv8o5x
A teenage boy and his girlfriend. They are happy and very in love, but tragedy strikes; the boy gets drunk at a party, drives home with her, gets in an accident, and she is killed. He feels horrible, naturally.
But the girl isn't gone; she returns to the world as a ghost, not willing to pass on and be without her love. Unfortunately, he can neither see or hear her. She can whisper things in his ear and be perceived subconsciously, move small objects when he isn't looking, but never make her presence really known.
For a while she is content to simply follow him around and comfort him as best she can. It even seems she may be having a positive effect; she is able to subtly influence him to quit drinking, clean up his act, and turn his life around. All seems well in a bittersweet way.
Things start to change as time passes. The boy gets older, the ghost does not. He starts to move past her death, no longer gazing longingly at the pictures of them together, not visiting her grave as much. While the ghost wants to see him happy, she is miserable that she is being forgotten, as she is unchanging and still feels love for him.
A few years pass, and the now young adult man starts dating other women. The ghost is upset and jealous. She starts to sabotage his dates, causing little accidents, using her ability to be subconsciously heard to make him say awkward things, basically being a bitch and ruining the young man's relationships.
Unable to find happiness, the young man begins to backslide. He starts drinking again, he gets in fights, he loses his job. His life is turning to shit. Ghost girl feels terrible...until one night the man takes too many sleeping pills and almost dies. A horrible plan occurs to her; if he commits suicide then he'll be dead too and they can finally be together.
She starts to egg him on to more and more self-destructive acts, whispering poisonous thoughts in his ear, trying to make him hate himself. He shuts out family and friends. He buys a gun and doesn't really know why. The girl hates to do this, but it's the only way...
Throughout the film, we've seen other people haunted by ghosts. At first this seems harmless; there's a man whose father still follows him and gives advice. A mother who lost her daughter, but the girl still walks around holding her hand. The spirit of a young boy's dog still romps behind him. These ghosts can see each other, and are the typical Pixar cast of quirky side characters.
At last the young man seems to hit rock bottom and is ready to end it all. Not wanting to watch her love die, the ghost departs to leave him to it. She heads to the park, and sees some of the other people with ghosts. But now she notices things she hasn't before. The ghostly father's advice, always critical, seems downright abusive, constantly berating his son for his failure and inadequacy, and the son looks miserable. The little girl's mother can't look at a child playing without tearing up. The ghost dog is gone, however, and the now older boy has a new pet and is happy. The girl realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
She rushes back to the man, who is moments away from shooting himself. She begs him not to go through with it, pleads and cries, but is unheard. Eventually she is just barely able to direct his attention to the neglected photos of them together as happy teenagers and he puts the gun down, picks up the phone, and calls a suicide hotline.
Man enters therapy, joins a group to quit drinking again, takes medication. It's long and hard but he makes it. The girl is happy, but she seems to be fading slowly as the months pass. She thinks she might be finally letting go and crossing over, her reward for having saved him. Eventually she departs with a smile.
Twist ending: there was no ghost. That was his guilt and depression personified. It was always his own subconscious, the part of him that hated and blamed himself for the girl's death. Sure, the guilt drove him to quit drinking once, but the fact that he couldn't move on drove him into ever deeper despair. All the people with "ghosts" are the same way, haunted by their pasts. Last shot is him walking down the street, content, but as we zoom out we see just how many of the people around him have ghosts, and how widespread the problem is.
LupinThe8th ยท 16330 points ยท Posted at 13:49:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, can't believe people remember this comment 3 years later.
Nice to know that people enjoyed it.
Edit: I wrote a follow up to suggest how you could handle the "reveal", which I might as well link. Should have just included it in the original, but I was new to reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zmme1/if_pixar_were_to_make_a_dark_film_what_should_it/cfvdv5e/
natur3ify ยท 1734 points ยท Posted at 14:19:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a fantastic read. Thank you.
Jabukon ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 16:03:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love stories that end with a twist that actually make you overthink everything you saw and heard and it all makes sense suddenly.
tuck190 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:26:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of my favorite things about the anime "Steins;gate." Its a completely different show on the rewatch.
ChaosBeing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:47:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try Madoka, especially the third movie. I've seen that movie nearly 10 times, and I still get a little more out of it every time.
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Madoka is like my 3rd favorite show of all time.
alblaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah if a serious attempt was made to make it into a movie or something, I'd throw in some money to support it.
cmaronchick ยท 957 points ยท Posted at 14:20:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hollywood could make that film every 10 years with whatever Oscar-bait actress/actor is trending and they'd get nominated, it's so good.
reddit0rial ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please write a screenplay of this!
cnutnugget ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directed by Charlie Kaufman
General_Landry ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:39:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M. Night Shyamylan is the only director fit for this twist
cnutnugget ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:29:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see it less as twist and more as an esoteric metaphor
AminoJack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bare bones of the story could be considered the overall idea for The Babadook.
Grenadier020 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is mad good
pretendparades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically the plot of the Babadook
Christ_on_a_Crakker ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew where you were going with it right away. I have been in recovery from alcohol for over 13 years and I am actively engaged in working the steps with my sponsor again so that I can confront some of these "ghosts" head on. Also, my roommate just took two of my steak knives and slit her throat and died in her bathroom a couple weeks ago. Her spirit may have moved on, but her "ghost" is every where. I haven't wrote this out yet and only my AA sponsor and my therapist know this, but we were intimate on her last night. She was acting like she needed comfort and I really didn't know what to do. I held her and told her things were going to be alright. I knew she was struggling financially but that she would have a place to stay, that I wouldn't just kick her out on the street. I tried everything to get her to snap out of her funk that night. The only thing she seemed to want was sex. Lots and lots of sex and intimacy. She wouldn't stay in bed though. She kept going back to her room, or just walking around in a daze. I told her to come in and lay down with me and she did for a little while. When I woke up the next morning she was dead. It is weird because people that are supposedly closer to her than me like friends and family have all left me to deal with all of her stuff. Her part of the bills and rent are all mine. Her clothes, her furniture, I am the one who has to deal with it all. I don't really mind, but this experience has really opened my eyes to how people deal (or don't deal) with pain and loss. I am really glad that I am grounded in a program of recovery that teaches me how to walk through tragedy with dignity and grace and to be of service and value to others while also taking care of myself.
My24thacct ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:33:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You need help, don't try to do this alone, talk to someone and make a plan. No one should have to deal with this by themselves.
You are not responsible for her bills unless your name is also on them, so don't give them a second thought. For anything that you were together on, behind the bills there are real people who can make arrangements for payment plans, but they don't know that you need help until you tell them.
If you reach out to someone and they don't know what to do, tell them exactly what you need, if you don't know what you need, tell them that, youre lost and don't know what to do.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I wish there was more I could do. But if a total stranger from Reddit feels this way, I guarantee there's someone nearby who feels the same. Good luck, you can do this, one day at a time (one hour, minute, second), and remember this will get better.
daybeforetheday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
TheSandbagger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. No words, just love, brother.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's rough buddy
quickhakker ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:31:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is the first time i read that and that ain no pixar shit thats m nigh shamaladingdong shit
Not_Today_M9 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:33:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for writing this. These little gems are the reason I browse reddit.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:30:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming /u/tuck190 isn't your alt, he should just link your comment rather than describing it himself?
tuck190 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:20:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, definitely not me. I was on mobile and unsure how to do it. Ill edit it in though as soon as I learn how!
laxt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:56:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, say that this was a fantastic read.
Thank you!
sparta981 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:53:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to write a script and send it somewhere. This is downright haunting. I remembered it all from the first couple lines.
PinochetIsMyHero ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:46:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's worth saving. I'd go see it.
gregnuttle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:06:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I just teared up at the ending of a fake Pixar movie. What the hell is wrong with me.
X-istenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, me and some friends made a short film with a similar premise many years ago. Yours was... much better.
In a double-twist, in the sequel, it turned out not to be the boy's "Conscience" at all, but a daemon that went around making people's lives miserable because... umm... Daemon. It revolved around the friends of the boy (who actually did kill himself in ours) at and after his funeral, and the Depression Daemon had to face off against all the other Daemons influencing the other kids (Rage, Dependency, that kind of thing). We... did not make that sequel.
GlassRockets ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:54:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should.... patent it? Or whatever the story equivalent thing to do would be?
middirtkefni ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:01:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Copyright I guess
I_WRESTLE_BEARS_AMA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That cut me so hard. Fantastic job, dude.
sparta981 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to write a script and send it somewhere. This is downright haunting. I remembered it all from the first couple lines.
thealmightybrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it a lot. Not really meant for Pixar due to the suicide talk and such. Would make a great anime in my opinion.
ViolentCheese ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They depicted miscarriage in UP, it would just have to be more subtle and not the climax scene.
lurlina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing to read. I wish it were a movie. I mean I'd bawl my eyes out but I would definitely see it.
sparta981 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to write a script and send it somewhere. This is downright haunting. I remembered it all from the first couple lines.
Leijin_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you're ever motivated to write that into a short story/novel let me know x)
Dave_I ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When something resonates and has enough interesting stuff going on to make an impact (the twist at the end actually caught me off guard more than I would have expected), it tends to stick with me, and obviously with others as well. There are certain stories, movies, video games, books, songs, all sorts of things that I have experienced that I still remember, often revisit, and feel a very strong visceral reaction to upon remembering them.
So, nice job on it, and the last line ends on a pretty powerful note. Not necessarily a take action note, however one that invites us to take the moral of the story and be aware that a LOT of people have similar problems. I think that gives a story or prompt like this legs.
TerpsMakeMeDrink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was REAL solid, man.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man you should write a book on this or sell the idea for a movie or something
SteamyBuscemi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's genuinely incredible.
FluffyYuuki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have really great ideas
Acoconutting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really liked it
hamerzeit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gave me chills, I'd love to see that made into a movie, even just a short film would be phenomenal
fullmetalmcfly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might be interested to know that this is basically the plot for an upcoming horror movie that stars Troian Bellesario and Tom Felton. Maybe someone read your idea and actually DID make a movie out of it
Edit: the trailer - https://youtu.be/Q-ml6edaQzI
knottymind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely brilliant. Hey, who's cutting onions in here?!
let-it-shine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy smokes dude that's freaking beautiful and tragic. I read this at work and felt myself starting to tear up a little! Please tell me you write.
Legend017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that is awesome.
Sweet13BlackExpress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just read this - seriously, this is a movie i'd watch
I don't know how it's done, but you gotta make it happen
jvttlus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, obviously you should sell everything, quit your job, and dig yourself into unimaginable debt to get this movie made!
doooozer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really nice to have you comment back. That was one heck of a story.
WeMustDissent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a goddamn genius you asshole.
TrekkiMonstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved it too.
EDIT: What would you think about this as a silent animated movie? Not silent silent as in no sound, but like just music and some sound effects (e.g. the car crashing, or a phone ringing). I have an image of this which isn't exactly Pixar movie style, but I think could still work (and at much less cost). I'd love to do it myself, but I don't have the skill (or the patience or even at this point in my life, the time).
AwSMO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, now I am depressed
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely loved this. It was one of the first things ive read on reddit and what got me hooked
JimSFV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar wouldn't do this, but someone should. Also, having a girl prompt her ex-boyfriend to commit suicide is a bit sensitive right now. You should write this script and send it to an up and coming animation studio.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the movie how would it be revealed that the ghost was his guilt and depression rather than a real entity?
Great story!
LupinThe8th ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:36:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone thought to ask that the last time, and like a dope I just put it in a new comment instead of editing the existing one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zmme1/if_pixar_were_to_make_a_dark_film_what_should_it/cfvdv5e/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!
chrassth_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was incredibly impressive, even just as conceptual paragraphs.
Shawncb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just guns chime in and also say to make this a script and get it to some animation studios. You could be a great story writer. The best thing is, you don't have to be good at scripting. Other writers can help you clean it all up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're, like, famous dude
eonica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was hauntingly beautiful. So much so I dug up your original comment and it's become the first thing I've used the 'save' for. Thank you
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be the new Mary and Max!
If you haven't seen Mary and Max- I highly recommend it. It's a stop motion animated film which is both depressing and beautiful.
10tonhammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make it happen. Don't let the ghost of this idea haunt you forever.
DirtayDane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously that was a pretty good plot. I could totally see that as a film.
wwlkd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow that was fantastic. i just saved it and will post this in 3 years
Nicekicksbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're awesome.
boontwiks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was brilliantly written. Well done.
coorucooru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn it. That story is so relevant to me.
CaptnWillie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the unsolicited insight into my own psyche. Thinking about all my ghosts from my past is just what I needed before going to work all day.
That was poignant as fuck.
Gacode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh, can you write a book about this? I'll be one of the first person to buy (eventhough I live in Indonesia, I'll find a way)... Please!
Averagesmithy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that made me tear up.. amazing writing.
tigerjess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to watch this movie...
Vandalmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But seriously. "Why are you not writing screenplays everywhere?"
HippieSoulPunx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that story is incredible. Clever, got a good twist, and generally just brilliant.
Waughmpwaughmp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this idea at all inspired by 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'? I'm about a third of the way through the book I could see how a couple ideas could overlap.
Really good writing you did, hope you make more
MrMiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But would the twist ending make sense when we see the girls ghost alone in the park on a separate plot line? Why would he think of her as a ghost interacting with other peoples ghosts, or in that case, problems.
I think the story is much more compelling when you leave the supernatural element with the ghosts in it. Gives it much more character. Otherwise you would make the girls character arc obsolete.
esoteric_plumbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the whole point
MrMiste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but wouldn't that also make the plot of the story obsolete?
esoteric_plumbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so, I believe it adds depth to it
MrMiste ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how? It's a similar thing with Bing Bong from Inside Out, for example. Yes, technically he is just in the girls head too, but he was real since the world he was created in was kept intact for the ending.
A twist to reveal that nothing of the events actually happened would rob the story of it's richness and metaphorical power. I think the girl ghost story functions a lot better as the interaction of two characters, than a progression of a single person, since interaction is often times much more compelling and interesting than just having a single characters cope with his situation.
The message still wouldn't be lost. The girl returns to him to stop him, but he is reminded of lifes value when he sees her picture again. Both learn a lesson in this moment. Robbing the main character of the story of it's arc just seems wrong to me...
esoteric_plumbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story is still there though, it's real in our imaginations. I find that the twist just grounds the story into reality which is a huge selling point for me. Having it reveal that none of it was real doesn't detract from the storytelling that happened before for me, we would have gone through the entire story before the reveal so in the moment I would find that story interesting and then the reveal would leave me with something real to ponder instead of leaving up to "magic" or what have you which tbh feels like it cheapens the whole experience. If it truly was ghosts the whole time it just becomes a cute story for me, but it being figment of a depressed persons imagination makes it all the more real for me and truly depressing
mistergoomba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this actually made me cry. I could only imagine if it were a movie.
jimbojangles1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was not expecting to tear up in this thread. Damn that hit close to home.
11223345aad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautifully written and very deep. Thank you.
CaughtInDireWood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last paragraph gave me literal shivers down my spine and arms! That is an amazing story!!
MakingItWorthit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got gilded 6 times total because of that story.
You should post something a bit more in depth based on that to writing prompts because people are interested.
QueenOfHoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. That was maybe the best thing i've read in a long time. I'm a lil bit drunk so i don't know how to put my thoughts into words.
Do you do do wrtiting stuff anywhere? Because i'd love to read more of your work. You seem really talented.
Skydragon222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God DAMN that was a fun read.
Lo-G ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you read Jung?
music-n-stuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gave me chills. Excellent read. You should turn it into a short story and get it published or something.
press_delete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that's probably the best story I've read in a long while
dreweatall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must have liked the Babadook
10000ofhisbabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That absolutely gave me chills. Thank you.
TellYouWheniKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a Laiko worthy!
The_New_34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is the greatest thing I'v ever read on Reddit. Thank you so much. You truly have a talent for this thing
rhtmdn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would it be okay if I used this story to write a script?
antony1197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just fucking depressed my for the day.... it's not even 11 yet..
Gahockey3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see a movie exactly like this. It gave me chills throughout.
ScottAtOSU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's basically Always or A Guy Named Joe with a twist or two. Still, pretty good.
wumbonumber9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see this as a ghibli movie. Amazing.
surrealbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, i loved it. Cinematic and deep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if the ghosts are not real, doesn't that contradict the scene where:
yaminokaabii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the ghosts are really just part of the people they're attached to, you might be able to work that into the guy realizing that other people have problems too/he's not alone, thus spurring him to get help?
illrustwithyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love the username, fam
illrustwithyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love the username, fam
TheNobbs ยท 3421 points ยท Posted at 13:49:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why the fuck would that be a Pixar film
Cabotju ยท 1297 points ยท Posted at 14:24:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I thought as well. This isn't a downer ending, the entire film is a fricking downer
TheInfinityGauntlet ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 14:57:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Half the work is in the presentation and the bit that's sorta glossed over (seeing how people live with their ghosts) would be more than a short amount
gusti123 ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 15:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I realise that a lot of Pixar's works have depressing elements to them, but despite that, this could never be a Pixar movie.
blindes1984 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 15:58:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably more in the vain of a Tim burton puppet movie.
gusti123 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:14:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that could be interesting.
Toppo ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:14:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it wouldn't. I can't stand another movie with spirals and black and white stripes and Johnny Depp.
SirSoliloquy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:00:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. It'll also have slanted windows.
Toppo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:32:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rips off eyeballs
Jkami ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....I actually enjoy Tim Burton
Gullible_Goose ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last thing we'll ever see in a Pixar movie is a character about to kill themselves with a firearm.
Metamorphis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:20:54 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why the production of these kinds of movies are called Pix-R
TheInfinityGauntlet ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:32:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you're not wrong, or it'd be incredibly toned down which'd take the wind out of it entirely
NealMcBeal__NavySeal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:42:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was from a thread about depressing Pixar movies
Crazyinferno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could make for a great short, if anyone was up to the task.
DarkJedi3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a good Christopher Nolan film.
joaquinrasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are missing the point. Dark* Pixar film.
Zakaru99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't Pixar though, it's just dark.
gusti123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a dark movie, but it's not a dark Pixar movie. There are two descriptors.
joaquinrasta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:53:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not specifically Pixar I guess; but I feel like only an animated movie could pull off the story. Otherwise it would seem really stupid if done in live action. Also, it follows a lot of the same beats and themes as a typical Pixar film.
Metamorphis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about Studio Ghibli?
sweetcuppingcakes ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:28:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just that it's a downer, it's that there are fucking guns and drug overdoses and suicide all throughout. There's no way it would be a Pixar film.
Still, it would make a beautiful film and I'd love for it to happen. Almost seems like it'd have to be a cartoon, with the quirky ghosts and everything, but I'm not sure what studio would make that.
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:05:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the point. Did you not read the first part of the comment? He found it in a thread about "what would be a depressing Pixar film."
Cabotju ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 15:22:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not depressing that's devastating
gusti123 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:28:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's not a Pixar film, no matter how it's presented.
HIJKElemenohpee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, because it's too depressing?
chaosfire235 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well...yeah actually.
Plenty of Pixar films have depressing elements and even story threads but are generally a bit more upbeat. To start of with a death, then have her pine after him before almost pushing him to suicide is way too dark for children's movies, especially when you have to get pretty graphic for some of those moments.
It sounds like it'd work better as a short film. Hell, it sounds perfect for the same Pixar artists that made this one!
HIJKElemenohpee ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:51:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point of the thread wasn't to make a realistic Pixar film. The point was to make a film with Pixar-like aspects that's depressing as hell
ollieclose ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:32:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what "Pixar-like aspects" are evident in the story he wrote?
It's just a depressing story (not to denigrate the story itself), with nothing Pixar-like other than the fact that it'd obviously be animated. By that token, American Beauty or The Road could be Pixar films if they were just animated to look like them. But the reality is that an animated version of The Road wouldn't resemble a Pixar film in anyway, because Pixar films are characterised by a certain levity that simply couldn't exist in a post-apocalyptic film that features cannibalism, or a film about drink-driving, accidental death, depression and suicide.
SoForAllYourDarkGods ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point of words is so people can read and understand but that seems to have passed by these tools too.
itsnotnews92 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:44:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and drunk driving, alcoholism, depression, and suicide aren't exactly appropriate topics for children--at least not in such an explicit way. How would you even cover those subjects without being somewhat graphic about it?
HIJKElemenohpee ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's ways to implicate certain behaviors so that the adults understand but the kids don't. An example of this would be Mrs. Incredible thinking that Mr. Incredible was cheating on her. As a kid, I never even realized any of that was happening at all, but it was a key aspect in her character development and her part in going after Mr. Incredible.
It might not be possible to the extent of this film, but what the fuck ever, man, clearly we're not actually pitching it to Pixar
itsnotnews92 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:26:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You asked why it wouldn't be a Pixar film, you got an answer. Don't get all pissy about it.
HIJKElemenohpee ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 16:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao I didn't realize I was being pissy. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings
UnWeonMas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umm I think the part with the gun and suicide is too much. It could've been deaths of familiars, broken hearts, stuff like that, but a girl trying to convince a guy to commit suicide by giving him bad thoughts is too much. What said, the story was pretty good.
HIJKElemenohpee ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, because guns and suicide are ultimately too depressing
UnWeonMas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about them being depressing, it's about them being too shocking. I don't know if the death of a loved one by suicide would make me sadder, but it'll definitely scar me more. It's not necessarily most depressing, but it's certainly darker.
SplitArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:36 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you fucking walnut it's because it shows underage drinking, alcoholism, suicide, and abuse. Are you so fucking daft that you don't realize that thee is no fucking way that could ever pass for Pixar.
busty_cannibal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar is definitely moving in a Miyazaki direction. From a business standpoint, why not have a separate market for adult animation and kid animation?
42nd_Guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck Pixar. Make it live action.
mechanate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't depressing enough for Pixar because it lacks contrast and juxtaposition. It lacks playfulness. It's good, but Pixar would not consider it, because they like to rip your heart out by connecting with your childhood innocence, and then nuking it from orbit.
mistergoomba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, most of the movie can still be fun with the ghosts in the movie seeming more playful and comedic at first. Even the part where she's trying to get him to kill himself can seem funny in a really dark way.
Leprechorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you have to have the film be a downer for the most part, or a happy ending won't really mean anything.
How many movies can you think of that are just upper all the way through?
DOW_orks7391 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beginning of Up on steroids. ...
mister11th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... it said a BAD Pixar movie
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 15:12:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did that story get top comments? The sorry isn't interesting at all. I get it but it is so lacking. Maybe as a short but not a full film.
silassin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up.
[deleted] ยท 646 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LTman86 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next year at the Oscars...
And the best animated film goes to...Dreamworks! For a real and enlightening look on bringing awareness to depression for all ages!
Cm0002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As they were stamping "Approved" on it
AniviaPls ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:40:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, this exists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I49AXE1cwVI
Born2BWrong ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can see at the beginning that the short is made by Quorum Films. I'm not entirely sure but I believe they were allowed to use Pixar resources to make the short. The short itself isn't associated with Pixar in any other way though.
AniviaPls ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:03:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As far as i know, the production team is all pixar employees
Born2BWrong ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:23:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's possible but that'd still be pretty far off from considering it a "Pixar" thing, just because Disney probably likes to keep them relatively squeaky-clean image wise. Like those people working under Pixar probably don't make that short in Pixar's name.
AniviaPls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah makes sense. it does, however, look like the exact same style of animation!
chaosfire235 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the Pixar artists that made this would be perfect for doing the above story as a short film.
EchoJunior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf this video is not allowed in my country. Now I want to watch it so bad
AniviaPls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google it! It used to be free so its probably elsewhere
X-istenz ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was waiting for the Pixar flavoured twist that never really came. That being said, I pretty much felt the same way about Inside Out.
noreligionplease ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:20:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They made Wall-e, sure the robots are cute and all, but the back drop for that movie is depressing as fuck.
itsnotnews92 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:45:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but Wall-e didn't involve an alcoholic moments away from blowing his brains out, either.
noreligionplease ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure they didn't show any of the famine and war that was almost a given cause I doubt the whole 7,000,000,000 population of the earth was moved to the Axiom.
BaconReceptacle ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:33:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Askreddit question was whats an idea for a depressing Pixar film.
darphdigger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:44:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it would make a better short (Pixar or not). There are some fucking depressing shorts out there.
sharklops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out the Blender open project Sintel. Pretty great but talk about sad feels: https://youtu.be/HomAZcKm3Jo
KillZacular ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The title of the thread was "if Pixar were to create a dark film."
Pancakewagon26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:59:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a great idea, just not a Pixar one
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:21:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hint: it isn't
KapiTod ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:31:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar is going to have to get edgy at some point.
IDrinkUrMilksteak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:30:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you canโt specialize in family entertainment forever. Just look at Disney. /s
KapiTod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornhub started life as an online shopping site.
ReklisAbandon ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inside Out
OpinesOnThings ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he said edgy, not unbearably dull. That's the opposite silly :)
ReklisAbandon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why it's got a 98% fresh rating?
DRosesStationaryBike ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also if any movie's twist is "the ghost wasn't even real" you can go to hell
itsnotnews92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing says "family friendly" like drunk driving, alcoholism, suicide, and depression!
TyPhyter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely a better fit for a stop-motion flick by Laika (Coraline, ParaNorman, Kubo).
Im_Not_That_OtherGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha my thoughts exactly.
notMcLovin77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might be a a dream works film
allquiets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty Tim Burton.
Death_Star_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of which...whatever happened to that dia de Los muertos Pixar film?
I swore I saw like a full trailer for it a year ago. Not a teaser but full length trailer.
jonnybanana88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's called Coco and it comes out in November
Pls_No_Ban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought for sure it was going to be a rip off of the movie "ghost" from the 80s/90s
Naragacuga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studio Ghibli on the other hand...
Ahnenglanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Id rather imagine this as a weird tim burton creation.
Shit, now i see boy and girl as johnny depp and helena bonham carter...
frontrangefart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I found it obnoxiously trite as well.
EvolveEH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a thread about a dark pixar film
Cajun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was how a 'dark' Pixar movie would end up looking like.
YuriDiAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a Darren Aronofsky film.
xprdc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was just a suggestion for if Pixar would ever make a 'dark' film.
Federico216 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads more like a Studio Ghibli film. Could work though.
TheLastSparten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I can't see how this would be Pixar, other than because I can only imagine that being made well as an animation. Live action wouldn't have the same effect and I don't know many other studios that could make it as well as Pixar.
Thorngrove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just leave this here...
http://borrowedtimeshort.com/
ExtraAnchovies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen the Disney animated short about a homeless little girl who hallucinates being happy with her family as she slowly freezes to death? It came out a couple of years ago and I believe that it's still on Netflix.
Eddievetters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could totally see why they would say that. Remember Inside Out? I cried like a child most of that film and it cut deep but was SO good!
Swing_Right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never said it was a pixar film, the OP that quoted the comment did because it came from the thread "If Pixar had a downer movie what would be the plot?"
Khellendos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd make an excellent Pixar short. Most Pixar shorts are terribly depressing. Take this one for example: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/100733
fullforce098 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldnt, hence why the ask reddit thread asked for "depressing" Pixar movies
OZL01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:27:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it would be really interesting seeing a dark Pixar film. If they can tell great PG movies imagine an R rated Pixar film.
SoForAllYourDarkGods ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"an ask reddit thread about ideas for a depressing pixar film"
The clue is in the goddamn text.
Learn to read.
ffs
FelicityLennox ยท 982 points ยท Posted at 13:06:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOW, I read that whole thing. Would definitely pay for a movie. It's worse than Up. I was thinking the depression all the way through, but jfc. I wish it were the ghosts.
I_WRESTLE_BEARS_AMA ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only it were ghosts.
FelicityLennox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:19:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right. :(
Seltzer_God ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it would be worse if it were ghosts.
Edit: there are ways to help depression. If a ghost was following you around and you didn't know it, there wouldn't be a way to help that. I don't see why this is downvoted.
I_WRESTLE_BEARS_AMA ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:03:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's worse knowing that I'm the one doing this to myself.
somestraightgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just gonna put it out here that my inbox is open if you or anyone else just needs someone to talk or vent to.
Jerlko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse if it's not ghosts because while ghosts aren't real, depression is very real.
Elm_ST_Terror ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was honestly waiting for the 1998 hell in the cell comment.
nobody2000 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 13:43:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that was a rollercoaster. It's like the intro to 'Up' with a dash of 'Inside Out' served with a heaping helping of 'Ghost Dad.'
poonpeenpoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ghost Dad is a much scarier watch these days.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:44:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WhatsThatNoize ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat similar for sure. I showed that movie to a couple of friends and they still haven't forgiven me for it.
orange-astronaut ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:54:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would be better without the "twist", I think.
ItsBeardFACEEdamnit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:20:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, since the story seems to be from the ghost girl's perspective, not sure how that would work. But other than that, seems cool.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it's like a really depressing Inside Out.
addman77 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:05:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually quite similar to the premise of the Babadook, a horror film, which uses a monster to represents a woman's depression after her losing her husband. To adults, the Babadook isn't visible, but the boy can physically see the monster that is trying to kill the mother; the depression eating away at her. Eventually the mother and son both learn that they cannot completely get rid of the Babadook and learn how to live with it in their basement.
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that movie!
DarthWingo91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:43:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn.
MRCNSRRVLTNG ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:17:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
was "meh" until the end. then it became "yeh". thanks.
Definitely_want_me ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:18:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The song 'demons', by imagine dragons goes really well with this. https://youtu.be/mWRsgZuwf_8
MuggyDay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:23:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the babadook
mortemdeus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:51:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaaand saved
caanthedalek ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:03:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depressing? Yes. Pixar? Hell no.
somestraightgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I think it would work best with the Pixar art style but I agree, it's not very Pixar
mudra311 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:18:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxLHP2IpBXw
booglemynoogle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if it was me,
hanging from that tree.
How could it be?
Such a simple soliloquy
Entropy of the century
They wont mention me.
Pay attention listen to the lession
depression is part of my section
This is no confession but
A blessing from the devil
Swin down to my level
Mental insanity
Will I just wither away
Be left behind in yesterday
No nest to rest my head you see.
Contesting demons
Seeing who will be my friends.
Will it end?
What if it was you?
hanging from that tree
Open your eyes and see.
We are not fine
Hiding away like Frankenstein
Making sure no one sees the monster in our brain
How could one be sane?
For tears cant be seen in the rain.
rampant_juju ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:10:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good plot for a movie, but too dark for Pixar.
tuck190 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread was about a dark pixar film
rampant_juju ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.
poopsicle88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would watch
seekinghalcyon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, this gave me chills!
notMcLovin77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think pr might have a problem with the victim of a drunk driving accident being portrayed as a sort of antagonist though
Weigard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is basically The Babadook.
joan-of-snarc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you show that it was actually just his personified guilt?
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt write it, but I did love it
Recondog762 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's an amazing idea!
Edit- I just realized that I posted this twice. But they both have positive votes so fuck it they're staying.
tuck190 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
right, youre so dude!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet. Reminded me of AnoHana.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The feeling down my spine man, this one hits hard.
Mail540 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little dark for Pixar but it would make an excellent movie
Pandamonius84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's some good stuff. Someone hit up Netflix or HBO and make this into a tv series. Would totally binge watch.
Walnut156 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue with all of these awesome movie ideas is now I know the twist
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a snowballs chance in hell Pixar makes a movie even remotely this dark. Making this would be career suicide for all involved.
BuddhistChrist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. If it is the guy's story, why are we seeing his subconscious' (ghost's) POV? Not being too critical, just want clarification that if it's the guy's coping mechanism, why are we seeing it as if it has a "life" or "personality"?
Overall, a good story. I just have a feeling that if goes through a script submission process, this issue might be a red flag.
I think it works better without the subconscious angle.
LeMot-Juste ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is something like the Alan Rickman movie Truly Madly Deeply.
Fantastic movie, one of my favorites.
anticlockclock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So basically "The Sixth Sense".
do_i_even_lift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this film "A Ghost Story" that's coming out. Probably not nearly as touching and "family friendly" as that vision, but definitely made me know I would cry if I saw the film.
https://youtu.be/FxLHP2IpBXw
arhanv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I thought of
Johnny_Hooker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the idea is to write an animated version of the Machinist with less depth and no bone skinny, creeping looking Christian Bale?
In all seriousness, you should watch that movie if you like this read.
t1cooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Halfway through reading this I expected that it would end with the boy killing himself and the ghost girl remaining forever, only now she's alone.
Sonic_Is_Real ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This aint no pixar film, plus the guy should feel bad, he killed his girlfriend
Jocavalo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone send this to Disney, we need it.
Fenrir51 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm crying in my office now.
Recondog762 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's an amazing idea!
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude, youre so right!
IXenomorph9605 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa
penelaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda similar to the plot of Peony In Love. It's a nice book.
steevo15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gave me frission
NovaLext ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dog really sent me on a trip.
Maestruly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my... This is great, but to dark, even for Pixar
CVance1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that would be a great normal film
Almiles64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if this is basically the plot to this movie coming up called a ghost story by A24. Sounds like it fits well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_3NMtxeyfk
That-Reddit-Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well now I have an answer for this thread. This comment.
Reading_that ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that's an awesome movie! Quick someone send it to M Night Shyamalan!!
Twinshadowz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think thatโs already a movie based on what I can tell from the trailer with Casey Affleck and Rooney Mara called A Ghost Story. Still great comment. Read the whole thing. I think it would make me kill myself if I was 5 though
visiblur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. That one hit way too hard
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now you just spoiled the whole thing for me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit
eastphoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently heard a podcast called 'Bobby' from The Heart about their ghosts. Spooky
fake28id ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read the story with Ryan Reynolds in mind.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck man im eating my lunch...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty amazing idea, but it feels way too dark for a Pixar film
LTCM1998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved now.
Ice_Kold_Killa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy f**k. Even the ending is sad. So real. Damn. I need a few moments to think.
Gummi-Tank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had a little girl and the part about the ghost girl and mom got to me. No more reddit today, I'm gonna hold my daughter extra long today
ognihs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a tasteful way to cover desperation.
Not sure why it'd be a Pixar movie but definitely could be crowdfunded if it got into the right (trusted) hands.
Steveskittles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ghosts though seem to have their own agendas and go about doing their own things separate from their host. So the idea of them being a subconscious entity doesn't really hold up
Sweet_Taurus0728 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like shit load of other movies that have already been made.
eSDLoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And..saved.
syntaxvorlon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not feature length, but this is highly relevant and will probably hit you right in the first 10 minutes of Up part of your brain.
Dark Pixar
usmcswinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm crying and I don't know why I can't stop
Mythical-Man-O-Magic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just read that with this playing in the background and now I feel all kinds of fucked up
molinafan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually similar to a book series called The Station Series. The first book is called Dying To Forget.
LikeOMGDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
Capn_Butthurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever watched the Babadook? It explores the personified guilt of a mother and son and sounds similar do this story.
thedevilsdelinquent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the plot of "A Ghost Story" from A24. It's going to release later this summer, and god knows if the storyline matches up to OP's, but from watching the trailers this looks pretty close.
Chosenone- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright who is cutting the onions?
Weevle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit this is eerily familiar to Steven Wilson's Drive Home soundtrack animation, yet not entirely so. The tragic premise at least nails it.
SCAND1UM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another option for an ending: being a ghost is purgatory. Being good brings you to heaven, which is why the ghost dog was no longer there. Since the girl stopped him from suicide, she was deemed as good and got to leave purgatory and go to heaven.
WhornyNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol no one's gonna see this but i had a super similar idea except seth rogen and james franco are best friends but james franco dies and turns into a ghost and they hang out. but then james franco gets jealous of seth's real friends and starts to haunt him
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
believe it or not, ive read all the replies.
Jibeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixar? You misspelled "Tim Burton"
Dashu16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much for crediting the original and the author and not just posting the content like so many of these other posts
alx34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This speaks to me on such an insane level. There is no doubt that, were this to become an actual film and I watched, I would absolutely break down and cry. This is powerful. Just wow.
SpawnOfPhlick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy. Shit.
This would be an AMAZING movie.
AssyMcFlapFlaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i teared up reading this. very well written
Wesleyelsew96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read through a bunch of "save-worthy" things on here, but this is the one I'm actually saving. Just, wow.
helsreach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't he be in jail for the rest of his life for vehicler manslaughter?
spaceportrait ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The synopsis reminds me of the movie Badabook! The monsters they encounter also end up being the grief she has from her husband's death
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit
SmartSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like the movie more if he guy killed himself.
Allerseelen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old "Reverse Sixth Sense." Bruce Willis plays the girl, I trust?
DonAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a movie coming out next month called ghost story and similarly to this, it's from the point of view of the ghost. I think it's mainly about being forgotten, but the trailer doesn't reveal too much. You can check out it if you just look it up but the ghost in this movie is not as meddling I'm pretty sure.
StandardNoob ยท 15890 points ยท Posted at 11:19:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can jerk off my dick, but I can't jerk off my heart.
aldorn ยท 1972 points ยท Posted at 12:53:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A poet cumth
Bombardier04 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:09:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for adding the term "cumth" to favorite words I've seen on reddit. Surprisingly fun to say!
JohnCh8V32 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:27:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just... uh... rolls off the tongue!
ImAOneTrackLover ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:42:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the penis!
Respect_The_Mouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
Bombardier04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumth!
dumbrich23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:08:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Tyson probably said it first
aldorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think u mean Mike Tython
aldorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:34:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a pleasure...
Idreamofmotorcycles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They cumth, they came, but their hearts remain the same.
aldorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This brings a tear to my eyes
lenswipe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude
Also - it would be "cumeth", surely?
aldorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true
QueequegTheater ยท 502 points ยท Posted at 13:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was the point of slice-of-life anime.
Kojima_Ergo_Sum ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 14:29:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the point was to wallow in post-season misery
Jackie_McMackie ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 15:35:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it reminds you that youre not 2d and hawaii
azjayjohn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:37:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2d and kowaii......that's definitely it
micmahsi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:37:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hawaii? The big island or one of the smaller ones?
Jackie_McMackie ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:40:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
smol
MaskedAnathema ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:38:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*With wistful tears in his eyes* just like their chests...
Setkon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The continent.
Kyomeii ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:52:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point is to give you heart boners, you still can't jerk it, though
QueequegTheater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:58:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
MegaSonicGeo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a fucking challenge
ChokeZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody really knows the point of slice-of-life. It just... is.
scroom38 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:58:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I first encountered this with "flying witch".
It was nothing. The plot was nothing, leads went nowhere, nothing was resolved, it was just neat people doing neat things. By god I fucking loved it.
It didnt make any logical sense to me, why could I, someone with the attention span of a retarded puppy, not only be entirely entranced by a plot that amounted to nothing when far more interesting works failed to capture my interest, but how could it make me so happy when I watched it. Not intrigued, interested, invested, or particularly excited for it. Just, comfy, and happy.
It is a mystery that eludes me, and I can't quite explain, but got damn do I love me some slice of life, even though it makes me the worst kind of fucking weeb.
ChokeZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such is the slice of life genre. I personally am yet to find a show from it that can keep me interested, but it's got a pretty huge and dedicated fanbase of people with that exact sort of reaction.
scroom38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't explain it and I dont think anyone can. You may never find a slice of life that you enjoy, every single one of them ever created might make you want to attack puppies with an ice pick. However, if you discover there is one you can tolerate, it's this strange kind of simple happiness I've only ever found in a few other places.
Now to commit suduko for being a giant fucking weeb, even though I haven't watched anime in months.
Sidwasnthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hyouka
Zahke ยท 3089 points ยท Posted at 12:10:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So immature yet so true
Guitar46 ยท 1549 points ยท Posted at 12:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think this is extremely deep. Maybe immaturity written, yes. :)
ZioTron ยท 757 points ยท Posted at 12:52:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The more someone understands how the world and humans work, the more I find they tend to relinquish the schemas and boundaries of society, like PC, and tend to indulge in vulgarity to efficiently convey a message, do you understand, you little piece of shit?
Guitar46 ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 13:05:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do...you fucking asshole.
ZioTron ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:15:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad we understand each other..
DextrosKnight ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:07:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now fist him
Terrorz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:42:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now fitht
Guitar46 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:26:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I read that I was thinking oh god, another troll. Had to reread because sometimes I'm stupid.
Urethra_is_Ourethra ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:01:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Yeah, fuck you guys.
golfing_furry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*cunt
MrMarris ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:59:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you like that you fucking retard?
Guitar46 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:12:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classic
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Guitar46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Nice
gray_rain ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:01:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ironic thing here is that adding that bit at the end wasn't efficient. The message could have been more efficiently communicated without it and just saying "do you understand?"
ZioTron ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:35:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you are correct sir, that was merely a joke, nice find!
LosingMyEdge7 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:05:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is true of the PC words like "fuck, shit, bitch". They're arbitrarily vulgar and mean nothing especially in the context of, "Oh fuck, I'm late for work!" If that insults you fuck off.
When talking about slurs against any group I think it's the opposite.
Haltheleon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:20:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it can be reasonably assumed OP was not talking about racial/cultural slurs. I also personally don't have any issue with the occasional "Your argument is stupid" thrown in there as long as you're also making an actual counterpoint as well (i.e. not just using "your argument is stupid" as your entire counter). But yes, I agree, trying to argue against someone by calling them the N-word is very unlikely to just be someone wise to the world, and far more likely to just be a racist prick.
28Hz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to listen to what people are saying, rather than getting offended over the words they're using.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:51:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rmphys ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't agree with the above user, wisdom leading to impropriety does no imply impropriety leads to wisdom.
aahrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a greeny?
Haltheleon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though you're joking, this is actually sort of true. I used to try to be super nice when talking to people who, for example, deny specific scientific facts to maintain their world-view, as I saw it as the best way to sway them, but over the years I've come to realize I'm never going to sway them, debates are for the audience, and I have no issues calling bullshit bullshit when I smell it. That's not to say you shouldn't still make a coherent point, but the number of people that will try to invalidate your entire argument because you used a curse word is pretty funny, and I think it actually goes to show the impotence of their own arguments as well when the best counter they can come up with is "You called my argument stupid, ad hominem, I win!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm at the point in life where I accepted that truth is subjective and I just do my best to find the common ground. If there isn't any, maybe I could learn something valuable. Maybe I could even teach something valuable. I like to keep it simple, it seems to work out better that way in my experience.
Haltheleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, truth is subjective insofar as we are all limited by our perception, but when the overwhelming preponderance of evidence points towards something (like, for example, evolution or a spherical Earth), and when qualified parties can all independently verify that evidence and then talk to each other about that, then you can make reasonable inferences about the nature of reality, or, as some might put it, objective truth, and even if your inferences aren't 100% accurate, that's okay, because you still have a reasonable facsimile of reality built into your model. And the more qualified parties that independently confirm this evidence, the closer your model comes to accurately representing reality.
In short, while I sort of agree that truth is subjective, I think it's really important that we define what we mean by "truth" and qualify that statement by saying that it doesn't, in fact, mean that any bozo off the street can decide that the world actually spins atop a large metal pole, somewhat akin to a plate spinning on a stick, and have that become, at some level, true. You can believe something as hard as you want, but that doesn't make it true. It might be true for you, and you could indeed make the argument that that makes it "subjectively true," but in that case you're just using the term "subjectively true" to mean "a belief."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but my point is say a person believes the earth is flat. That is their truth. Your truth is that the earth is round. There are two truths, one that is more accurate and one that is not. That doesn't change the fact that they are both just beliefs. Those beliefs are founded upon differing values. Some people are very open minded to a fault (people who will believe anything). Some people are analytical to a fault as well (people who struggle to think outside of the box). Those people could learn something useful from eachother, obective knowledge aside.
Haltheleon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already addressed this:
It's a pointless term because you're just using it to mean a different thing that already has a word for it. Truth, as most would define it, has to do with the nature of reality. In essence, truth can be said to be that which conforms to reality. Ergo, a "subjective truth" that the Earth is flat is not, as it were, a truth.
monkeygame7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love Young Thug
aidanderson ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:35:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because they become cynical.
[deleted] ยท -49 points ยท Posted at 13:15:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
streetbum ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:46:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this is meant to point out people being super arrogant or condescending. It isn't meant to be an anti-intellectual attack on anyone trying to conceptualize something or make an observation using big words.
Dogbirddog ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:00:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
con...cept...u...a...lize...
Yep that's 5 or more syllables, I'm afraid I'm going to have /r/iamversmart you.
ButterflyAttack ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:57:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, I don't think you actually understand what that sub is about.
winter_mutant ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:24:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"/r/iamverysmart" is the reddit equivalent of shouting "NEEEERRRRRDDDD!!!!"
g3t0nmyl3v3l ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:06:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude basically just said he wanted to be loved, in no world is that particularly deep.
Sonaphile___- ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 13:30:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda. He's saying that we are able to take care of our own sexual desires to some extent, but we can never fill our own need for emotional support and companionship. That simply has to be found in other people.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 12:46:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StezzerLolz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:10:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StezzerLolz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, being funny takes practice, and nobody starts off funny. We are but complex neural nets, after all.
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:33:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry for you if "I have emotional needs too" is extremely deep. Anything actually deep must be like an alien language to you
Guitar46 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:01:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not extremely deep, no. I didn't put much thought into that comment... I was just doing some early morning commenting and didn't expect it to get almost 500 upvotes.
I feel sorry for you if you can only think of negative things to say. :)
[deleted] ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 15:07:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only to idiots like you. The vast majority of my posts are positive contributions ๐๐
Guitar46 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:10:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've looked at your comment history. You're not being honest but I'd expect that from a piece of shit troll like you. I'll just block you. Jeez
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 15:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to cherry pick bud. Holy persecution complex, i appreciate the irony of you calling me a piece of shit though ๐
I would be offended if you didnt have the depth of a shallow puddle.
Halmesrus1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:22:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to burst your bubble but you're kinda being a rude cunt rn over something laughably trivial.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now youre involving youself in something laugably trivial ๐. The whole conversation is laughably trivial. Me being a cunt is trivial, him being a butthurt baby is trivial, why do you even care?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BECAUSE THAT'S MY SON!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to tell you this ma'am, but your son has been diagnosed with being a little bitch. Ill leave you two alone to discuss your options
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute I'm not OP!
Halmesrus1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I really don't. I'm just waiting for work to start in a few hours an am killing some time. You're right though this is trivial. Hope you gain a more positive attitude in your dealings with others, have a nice day!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You too big guy ๐ณ๐๐
bryan2047 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ๐ญ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ญ๐๐๐๐๐
tetramir ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:06:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's an acknowledgment that a relationship is way more than sex.
ThePrevailer ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 13:09:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So strangely profound.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:15:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poetic as fuck
CouldBeWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And feels really close to "poetic ass fuck"
naomigoat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:11:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is... oddly adorable
idriveacar ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:35:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diogenes had a similar feeling about food.
GALL0WSHUM0R ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this.
For context, Diogenes was a philosopher who had been exiled, so he lived on the streets in a big jar and got up to all sorts of wacky shenanigans.
I challenge you to find one story about Diogenes that isn't zany and interesting -- giving Plato a plucked chicken, peeing on people he didn't like, being sold into slavery and requesting a job as the master, smashing his only bowl because he realized he could drink out of his hands, not one but two sick disses on Alexander the Great, etc.
mivi12 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:25:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be on the front page of r/me_irl within a week
Neurobreak27 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was already at one point I think. Either one of the two subs.
jaamfan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:44:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably r/Anime_Irl too
AfroNinjaNation ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally just posted it. Thanks fam.
lobehold ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:28:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what VNs are for.
pratyush997 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:34:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wayy too deep.
xxPussySlayer91x ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:35:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's deep.
dasbeck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:14:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very deep
barbequelighter ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:28:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Missandei asks Grey Worm why eunuchs would visit prostitutes he says something like, "We may not have man parts, but we still have man hearts."
32BitWhore ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:23:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wholesome4chan
mctastee88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a Steel Panther lyric.
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:22:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because yui is trash. he could have tempted us with a better waifu
museisnotdecent ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 13:42:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna go mate?
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:44:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do i have to leave my house?
museisnotdecent ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:01:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'll come to you. No Items, Fox Only, Final Destination.
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
im more of a tekken guy
museisnotdecent ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 14:33:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought you couldn't offend me more
SpooktorB ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YUI IS SHIT! SHIIIIIIITTTTTT!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:21:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:43:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all you have to do now is beat me and you're my dad!
AngryNavySeal ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:50:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out. Yui is adorable, not hot.
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:56:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you read my name wrong i think.
you should try a different 'A' word. like something that ends in 'tistic'
AngryNavySeal ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:07:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artistic :)
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 14:13:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're close..
pm_me_your_trebuchet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brings a tear to mine eye
milkbeamgalaxia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fanfiction. That's how I get my fix.
pugsaremydrugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a moeblob tends to only be able to jerk off your heart
Leberkleister13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds even better to Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart"
daimposter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you ruining the joke?
IAmTheNight2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you could, but you might die in the process.
TrulyVerum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo dawg, I herd you like reposts, so I put a 4chan post in a reddit post so you can repost while you repost.
Nastye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this open on my phone for ages, every time I want to look something up I chuckle
bajaja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:22:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read, or actually sang the last part in Joe Cocker's voice
Urkedurke ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too deep.
notmyname123007 ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 14:16:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/im14andthisisdeep
NiobiumGoat ยท 5401 points ยท Posted at 10:51:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON.
Olli399 ยท 881 points ยท Posted at 12:53:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This copypasta has earned so many upvotes everywhere I go, I swear.
edit: I posted this when the comment was in the 10s or early 100s. I fucking told you so.
Nature17-NatureVerse ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:06:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Reddit Support, how can I help you?"
You: "I'm not able to get my upvotes!"
Me: "Okay what comment are you trying to earn upvotes for?"
You: "SIR, I am NOT a Reddit person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which copypasta you're using?"
You: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the Reddit, do you post about broken arms, or a Kevin joke, or..."
You: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A REDDIT PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
NiobiumGoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe, it's true!
whizzer0 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:30:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport gets this daily
TheLegendofPie ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:48:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was there when the meme evolved. Twas a beautiful thing.
MerlinTrismegistus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:03:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twas, Twas indeed! A fine hour spent pretending to work whilst watching a wild meme spotted for the first time.
facu_biaggio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are few things more beautiful than the birth of a meme in the wild, i remenber the we are number one birth
Jeff_play_games ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 13:30:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the reason Redditors know about TFTS.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:39:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
devicemodder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting to hear about those keyboards...
zrowny ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:39:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I must be the only person in the world that hated his posts
scorpzrage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:47 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say I hated them, but then again, they were the reason I unsubscribed from TFTS back then.
Too much, too fake.
I even liked them in the beginning. For the first few parts. But it probably was because of the style, I guess, can't remember.
NinjahBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was the best, then vanished without a word
HououinKyouma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hate is a strong word, did you really not like his posts that much?
AVestedInterest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That comment's from an Ask Reddit thread, isn't it?
Jeff_play_games ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:02:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure which post came first, but it was in TFTS and after it got so much attention on AskReddit, we saw a lot more activity in the sub.
AVestedInterest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:06:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, cool! I do love all of the TalesFrom subs
Rush_nj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The askreddit post came first. Think it was the first reddit meme to sprout before my very eyes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is TFTS?
EDIT: figured it out. it's Tales from tech support.
Jeff_play_games ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport
Even if you're not a tech worker, it's an entertaining sub.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late mate. look at original comment.
vyralkaos ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:01:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still one of the most glorious things I've seen in reddit
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:57:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait WHAT?
you made me double check. Ten months? I would've bet my life that its at least two years old. What the hell?? In fact i feel like i've known this little story for at least 4 years already.
BananaDick_CuntGrass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's only been 4 or 5 months.
Kungfu_McNugget ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:27:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a fun day.
Jolly_Goblin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:06:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work for an ISP and on every other call need to ask "what colour is the lights" it was quite often that people would say I'm not a computer person, not good with computers etc. Come on I just want to know a colour, quite a few of these people would get aggressive too.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sadly, really a large amount of people are unimaginably stupid. Not gonna try and estimate ratios, but i know the actual amount globally is scary high.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:52:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked tech support for about year for a Satellite TV company, and then internet service on top of that.
The people that would call in were so fucking stupid. I think its a general rule that people that call in are not the brightest already, smart people can figure out their problems on their own. My opinion on a lot of these people assume that you can read their god damn minds, you know exactly what you want and that asking questions is like you're just trolling them. Having them troubleshoot? Good luck getting middle aged baby boomer woman to even look at a cable, or touch the input button on her remote. One day to get a technician out? You're the biggest piece of shit on the planet, what is this, your first job ever? What do you mean I have to clean the snow off my dish myself? its at shoulder height, but I should have to do it. I want my TV, I don't want a solution!
Whats worse, is people have been taught that as a customer, they have a right to be angry. At least in American. Now, I'm a dude that is still coping with anger issues after quitting nicotine almost a year ago, but I will NEVER take my anger out on anyone over the phone or in person, unless they are some kind of bully. I was fucking livid this weekend at my Internet company, and I still talked to that Filipino women on the other end of the phone like she was my grandma, because no one deserves that.
So you get these people that assume you know what they want, they think its alright to yell at people, and they have no qualms just telling you to fix it. It is never okay to treat a service person like that, and you're not entitled to act that way because you pay a 100 bucks to watch shitty reality TV.
throw4159away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my mom. Her go to line is "You live in this day and age and you don't know how to do this!?!!!"
1) Yes I do 2) You are also living "in this day and age"
i_am_not_a_fox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:52:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a Verizon, and would get people like this all the time. One lady even got angry at me for NOT knowing her iTunes password.
BagelCo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The depressing thing is that sounds just like my dad. Gets frustrated and directs his anger at the closest victim, even if it's the person trying to help.
"How do I email this?"
"Are you sure they don't want a PDF of that?" (it was a notepad file being sent for a job application)
"I don't need bullshit right now just tell me how to send this file"
ImNOTacomputerperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello me too thanks
devicemodder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU ARE REFUSING TO HELP ME, SO I AM HANGING UP.
Feudality ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:40:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man: The copypasta I am trying to paste came out all reported and downvoted.
Admin: Alright, what did you try to paste?
Man: SIR, I am NOT a meme person so I don't know.
Admin: Uh OK well you copied the copypasta from the internet so what keywords does it have?
Man: I don't know what that is!
Admin: Well how did you find the copypasta? What type of pasta are trying to paste?
Man: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A MEME PERSON AND YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP
EpicScizor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that is 10 months ago, feels like a month or maybe two.
wholesomealt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
personally i use google ultron
McLovin804 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brb, gonna go read that whole thread and rage the rest of my way through work
Derrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so real except for the part where they hang up. Instead they will insist on remaining on the phone while angrily refusing any attempts you make to solve their issue.
intantum95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck this was nearly a year ago? time flies
Unt4medGumyBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my girlfriend does that same kind of thing and it infuriates me to no end. I hate when people's excuse for not knowing something is "I'm not good at that stuff." just go learn it takes like 10 minutes and you use it every day
edit: i still love her, she just also does dumb things but so do we all
Hawkhasaneye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was 11 months ago?!?! Feels like yesterday me and a coworker were laughing at this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible to give gold to something that is archived?
NiobiumGoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think so
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost wish I would work in a call center for single day and experience this. Almost.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost wish I would work in a call center for single day and experience this. Almost.
yb4zombeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this as well! It's hilarious.
DiamondMinah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i remember this, it's already saved
DragonBank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thank you for your service. That thread has my dying from laughter right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:20 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I tried to save this meme but it didn't work."
Okay, what error message did it give you?
"SIR I am NOT a Reddit person so I don't know."
*Okay then are you using the app or the website?"
"SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT A REDDIT PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I AM GOING TO HANG UP"
unemployed_employee ยท 4064 points ยท Posted at 11:08:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Belly rubs
https://i.imgur.com/9AsqsFj.gifv
tperelli ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 13:34:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG the way he flops down waiting for more tummy rubs
ghandpivot ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 13:19:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, I'm totally getting laid showing this at the family party on Saturday.
Doug_Mirabelli ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 13:31:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alabama man?
hulkanator ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roll Tide!
Hadley-Hemingway ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the... the family party?
Dhexodus ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:58:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Concern
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:25:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell your sister I said hi, y'all.
Jaw1580 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:04:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By your wife? I hope
valphard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:45:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"family party" and "getting laid" shouldn't be put together in this context I think...
Pancakewagon26 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatsthejoke.jpg
TheOmegaCarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on December 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roll tide!
Def_not_Redditing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:19:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite so far. Saved.
Gingevere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coming right off of reading this comment and clicking on this one is a very jarring shift.
SolenoidSoldier ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:46:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CorgiGifs for more
Send_Me__Corgi_Gifs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:13:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I approve
simonwood0609 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Belly wubs
ViciousLullabyz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:12:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what breed of dogs is this? and how much do the grow in size? :)
AbysswalkerSilent ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:22:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks similar to a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, which grow to be the size of a small pig.
Bulk_king11 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:54:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How big is a small pig
StNowhere ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think of a large pig, but scale it down.
Bulk_king11 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:46:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh like a small dog but only larger
AbysswalkerSilent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think around the size of a full grown Pembroke Welsh Corgi.
Bulk_king11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:49:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally. Someone with answers!
Swank_on_a_plank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you not ever seen the Queen take all of her Corgi's traveling? I thought the breed would be very well known and common because of her.
Tratosian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my hEART IS MELTING
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NONONO STAHP STAHP STAHP NONONO OMG PLS..... ok rub my belly... no..no... NOOHOHO I WAS KIDDING AHH STAHP STAHP
whatusernamewhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to do that but with the girls of /r/sexytummies (nsfw)
joeyp0b ยท 1300 points ยท Posted at 11:57:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/x7qDcBf.gifv wild animal vs human
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:42:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:49:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
-popgoes ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a weasel. Stoats have black tips on their tails, weasels do not.
SunhillPC ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:05:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username?
-popgoes ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very relevant. I've made some video games with a weasel called Popgoes as the main character.
FiIthy_Communist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:39:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://popgoes.wikia.com/wiki/POPGOES ?
Ninja Edit: Yep... of course it is. Your username is right there.
Carry on.
-popgoes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:45:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one haha
Dubalubawubwub ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:53:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they're stoatally different.
BlackWhiteCat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:03:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever floats your stoat.
Chinlan ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 00:46:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God no not another Unidan fiasco
gbdman ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:00:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
weasel, he has his own youtube channel
SmokeyPeanutRic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:32:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you mean sausage mouse.
Monkey_Butt_Scratch ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/peoplefuckingdying
Epsiloni ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:06:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Half thought it is going to pull his finger off.
Sirknobbles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:37:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vicious
Runs_towards_fire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:33:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same keyboard, mouse and speakers as this guy. But all I really want is his weasel!
laxation1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:55:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please mark such violence nsfw
FiliaSecunda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a juvenile? I had no idea weasels were so small!
xSarkanyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now I want a weasel in addition to a cat and a pet wallaby. What more is to come...
beanzo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pets of the Master Race?
tmadiso1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:03:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always upvote polecats
BoogLife ยท 7695 points ยท Posted at 09:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dog cracks me up. http://i.imgur.com/aKsjkGn.gifv
lame_corprus ยท 895 points ยท Posted at 10:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Borking In The Rain
aldorn ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bjorking in the rain
TheObnoxiousCamoToe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:54:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment made the gif so much more funny. I thought I was gonna pass out from laughing.
lame_corprus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad!
Barnacle-bill ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:49:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP in peace Gabe :(
NARF_NARF ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:02:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stevie Borker
Megatron_Masters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only want to see you borking in the purple rain
borkborkbork99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what are you doing Friday night?
yaavsp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
macbubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's blocking someone from being nominated to the Supreme Court.... in the rain?
borkborkbork99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beg your pardon?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just borking in the rain
Slider_0f_Elay ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:14:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of this one time my friend was really drunk. He swings his arms up in the sky in half punch, half chopping motions and yells "I'll fight you, you blue fuck!" And I say "dude, it is night it isn't blue right now" and he looks at me like I just said three stupidest thing ever and says "well, I can't say black, now can I?"
mikejacobs14 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 11:40:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just imitating the bickering couple
tAgS87 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:42:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ontario!
Rassenfrassen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:50:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy's wife took that. As a pothead she was pretty stoked when snoop shared it.
2dad ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:44:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stevie wonder did not age well
chadillac91 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:07:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dobermans are truly amazing!
dannysherms ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:36:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got one, definitely not the brightest dog breed going.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:58:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're not dumb, I don't think, but they are so fucking neurotic. They seem to all come with quirks.
The breeder we got ours from said hers blew bubbles. They would stick their faces in the water bowl and just blow bubbles. Not drinking. Just bubbles.
Mine sang. I was learning to play the fiddle and suddenly he just started howling along. He would only do it to accompany music at first, but it didn't take very long to teach him to sing on cue. He never harmonized well, but he did his best. It was kind of annoying sometimes, but mostly endearing. He was a badass.
chadillac91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also have a 7 month Doberman. Love her so much
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dannysherms ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I pulled the short straw then.
Gonzo_Rick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:34:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brightwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he's just thirsty though
acog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit I never wanted to meet one because they look
prettysuper intimidating. Then when a family member was petsitting I got to meet one and it really changed my attitude. Yeah, she had that fearsome look but she was super sweet and loved people.What kind of reactions do you get when you take your dog on a walk? I gotta admit I'd be a little concerned that the dog would intimidate people.
anelenrique10 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:59:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one, and my mom got him one of these collars so when I'm walking him people change to the other side of the sidewalk and sometimes say mean things like you shouldn't be walking that type of dog around. He's such a well behaved boy the only thing is he still believes he's a puppy which he isn't which is kinda funny because when we come back from walkies I sit at my desk and climbs up to sit on top of me and he doesn't quite fit! I love him he's such a goofball.
Tavern_Knight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, I used to work in a pet boarding place and we got one in once. At first I was nervous about her, as she was large and intimidating, but I soon learned she was just a goofball that acted like a puppy. Great dogs
anelenrique10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know what you mean. I see it in his stance, it's kind of majestic.
YoungAdult_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People's perceptions of dogs are set for sure. I have a Boston Terrier who is not friendly (we're working on it) but I have the opposite problem--people try to approach us all the time. We're constantly telling people she's not friendly, or we'll change directions (I've had someone yell me at me for doing this, apparently she thought she wasn't good enough to pet my dog?).
chadillac91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always taking my girl to the dog park and walks through the city. Some people act a little weird but I feel they would act the same for any large breed dog. As you have learned it really isn't hard to see their lovable side. They are teddy bears ALOT of work but I wouldn't trade my doberbutt for the world
Detroit_Telkepnaya ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:55:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Only I can stop the rain"
-Dog
(Also DMX)
BaconReceptacle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:34:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its like Stevie Wonder became a dog.
jludey ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:03:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like someone has a hand puppet of a dog but has no clue how dogs act.
TKPhresh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:03:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Doberman behavior.
Source: was Doberman owner
Repa24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:28:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play this in the background: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUol5LkDem0
TheActualAWdeV ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 11:45:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
\m/
njsiii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gifsound.com/?gifv=aKsjkGn&v=wDZFf0pm0SE&s=19
What I think of when I see that...
DeltaVZerda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-UmfqFjpl0
bungopony ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:12:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TRALALALALA
Pancakewagon26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dogs have almost the exact same personality as really stupid kids except dogs are way cuter.
somebunnny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta bite 'em all!
Doctor_Crunchwrap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT NOW TELL ME DOGGIES!!!!
Rising_Swell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aww its so coot
Pm_your_g_string ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol typical doberman
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is hilarious :D
bassistmuzikman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like Stevie Wonder singing.
nickcantwaite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I was listening to bohemian rhapsody while watching this gif and it totally fits the gif.
samababa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, what a little idiot.
QuinceDaPence ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...I'll hang around as long as you will let me, and I never minded [barking] in the rain...
Corncoughguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My lab does the exact same thing lol
Adog311 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was listening to Ice 9 and his bites matched the anvil clangs and I'm so adequately impressed
DietCherrySoda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what it is exactly, but something about the traffic lights and way the whole road was designed told me this was Ontario, and then I looked at the plate and realized the font and colour and letters were 100% from Ontario.
gigibuffoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's totally what my dog does!
awsm-Girl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
got that Ray Charles headswing going, there...
CaitlinSarah87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Ray Charles rocked back and forth. Stevie Wonder hand the head swing.
thrice41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet damnit, as I'm watching this, Three Nil by Slipknot is playing and it makes it look like the dog is rocking out!
simple_114141 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always
bananafreesince93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, this song started on Spotify at the exact moment I clicked the GIF.
ComebackChemist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's listening to Call On Me by Eric Prydz in the car
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its black, it moves his head from side to side, i hear "isnt she lovely" wispering in the background....... It is stevie wonder!
BeachCop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed.
Malakazy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to be this happy
appgrad22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I could think of is he's got "I Just Called To Say I Love You" stuck in his head.
bloodfist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like a hand puppet lol
mxzeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
??? Just a rapper dog no big deal
i_am_ghost7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/animalsbeingderps
GJGJ1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing CS GO and its main theme synced perfectly xD
otakufanjh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone make a dance till your dead version.
puresick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marvelous ยฏว_(โะโ)_วยฏ
kvada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hababa ba"
"That's a good wisdom"
Dannovision ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this. I needed this today.
BoogLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stevie Wonder Dog says you're welcome
N0tMyRealAcct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what it would look like if Stevie Wonder sang death metal.
WizardofOss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this while listening to 'Beat it' by MJ and it seemed as if the dog was singing along
TexasWithADollarsign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more dubstep.
Vayshen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:22 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like Stevie Wonder's spirit animal.
Drinkonboatonrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:32 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Car alarm armed
scottyb83 ยท 2601 points ยท Posted at 13:28:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://giant.gfycat.com/IllBrownEarthworm.webm
GrayFox2510 ยท 411 points ยท Posted at 16:39:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is the loneliest number!
Two tickets to paradise!
Three times the ladies!
Fooooooooorever young!
scottyb83 ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 16:40:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear the commentators make these sketches SO much funnier. The soccer one is great too.
GrayFox2510 ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 16:48:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite from the soccer sketch is:
"That man's nose must be absolutely devastated! It's gonna look like a witch that flew her broom into her nose and then crashed into a hammer!"
scottyb83 ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 16:50:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"He's like a brick wall that can feel pain and cries a lot." is my personal favourite.
pc14 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 20:57:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"LOOK AT HIM BEG FOR MERCY WHEN IT'S MERCY THAT SHOULD BE BEGGING FOR HIM!"
scottyb83 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:51:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"He's like a brick wall that can feel pain and cries a lot." is my personal favourite.
Zeodexic ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:52:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once is enough
Kami_of_Water ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a link to the original video?
travelling_anth ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:17:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link
Scott Sterling: the man, the myth the legend!
Dragon--- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:15 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Every excruciating detail caught in HD perfection!", this one is the best. haha
Stupendous13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:29:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ah, the peaceful visage of head trauma."
askmeforbunnypics ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 16:34:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SCOTT STERLING!
scottyb83 ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:35:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE MAN!
gbdman ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 16:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE MYTH!
-BLAM ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 17:08:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE LEGEND!
JETAlone01 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blocking the ball with his cat-like face reflexes!
lofabread1 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:30:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He soars through the air like a defensive ANGEL!
apennyfornonsense ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:01:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SWEET BUTTER CRUMPETS!!
30phil1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His face is like a brick wall!
goat_fucker_69 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:09:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOVE THAT MAN
mobius_sp ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 17:13:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott "The Great Wall of" Sterling. Best NCAA athlete that has ever lived. The man. The myth. The legend. The angel with the face of a devil.
OnlySlightlyAWeeb ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 19:17:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link to the video. The sounds makes it much better.
PRW56 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:08:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"right back to sterling's face like an obese homing pigeon!", oh god my sides
FUTURE10S ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:38:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that they have a stretcher with the words "Reserved for Sterling" like this is a fucking normal thing seriously what the fuck
JimiSlew3 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:45:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best thing i've seen all night.
xelf ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:14:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sweet butter crumpets!"
They really lose out without the sound.
Here's the soccer one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9jXYOH2c0
You can find the rest from there.
Gileriodekel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:54:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studio C is about the best thing Mormonism has produced
scottyb83 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:56:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait they are mormon?? I've only ever seen their Scott Sterling sketches and I think 1 other one that was Batman v Superman in a Peoples Court type thing. Never got the gist they were mormon.
Gileriodekel ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:13:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, they used to be called "Divine Comedy" on YouTube, but when BYUTV picked them up they changed their name to Studio C
scottyb83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Learned something new today.
fatnino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're from Utah, so I just always assumed...
throneofmemes ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 18:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is happening here? I am so confused and I can't stop laughing.
scottyb83 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 18:40:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're replying to the wrong post...
throneofmemes ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:14:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops. Actually I'm replying to the volleyball one but for some reason that link was copied instead.
Taliva ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 19:42:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave it, its how it should be
throneofmemes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:11:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will but I still want to know what's going on in that volleyball gif.
WinterholdMage ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't heard of Scott Sterling?! Man, are you in for a treat.
He's a legendary goalie in soccer, as well as providing legendary defense in volleyball.
fatnino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a skit by Studio C.
HiHoJufro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:21:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ASK_ME_IF_IM_A_TRUCK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:33:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That pic still funny as shit though
kastreim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have something highlighted when you hit reply it'll put it in your comment as a quote.
frey312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
where did you get that picture from in the first place?
throneofmemes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a reply from within this post but I can't find it again.
tvgovernment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haaaahhaahaahahahaaaaaaaaaa
Dallagen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:29:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY2nVQNlUB8 It's from a sketch by Studio C
throneofmemes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:47:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah thank you! It was so confusing out of context.
BlackDragonNetwork ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:47:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that poor shit.
swyx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:35:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait is this real? how are they so accurate?
scottyb83 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:38:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not real, it's from a comedy sketch. There is one of him playing goalie in soccer and getting the same treatment. It's very well done though IMO.
tomttemp1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:51:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are a sketch, but someone was thoughtful enough to put the soccer sketch audio on top of this beautiful real footage.
PUSClFER ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:30:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What comedy sketch? I need to see the soccer version.
Big_Poo_MaGrew ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:57:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
google Scott Sterling
Big_Poo_MaGrew ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure the ball is CGI, its more apparent in the source video
Hiei2k7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:12:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE HOSPITALS ARE PREPARING TO RECIEVE.....
KeeperofAmmut7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMFGs! I was laughing hysterically at this.
scottyb83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you enjoyed it. If you liked it just go to Youtube and look up Scott Sterling. Both the soccer one and the volleyball one are hilarious and even better with audio.
KeeperofAmmut7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks.
G0ldunDrak0n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World's worst superpower.
Heor326 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:14:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The man, the myth, the legend!!!
Joshington024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally, I can be good at sports!
kingbane2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's so much better with sound. the announcers are the best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9jXYOH2c0&
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY2nVQNlUB8
Moustic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Sterling!!!
Saint_Oopid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WTF is happening here? It's hilarious but absolutely bewildering. Is the dark-shirted guy completely fake, partially fake?
sexualcatperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott sterling via studio c.
savemejebus0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I scrolled down way to long to find this gem. My stomach hurts from laughing.
AngeloIra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did I just witness?
PretendingToProgram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck
PM_ME_DARK_MATTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way thats real
scottyb83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:09 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not...it's from a comedy sketch...
johnnybcool1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:55 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"He ascended through the air like a defensive angel! An angel with the face of a devil!"
Mixed_Opinions_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:59 on November 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SCOTT STERLINNNGGG
Potat_OS1 ยท 14318 points ยท Posted at 10:00:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the askreddit thread with the question "you and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, you die if the snail touches you. it aways knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you, what's your plan?"
edit: sorry for forgetting to put the link, it was like, 1am when i posted this.
Bucket4Life ยท 17471 points ยท Posted at 12:02:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT: top rated and best answer
Ok, let's do this.
First things first - That million dollars is practically worthless compared to immortality. Ever dime of that cash can and should be spent ensuring that the snail never, ever reaches me.
First things first, I keep an eye on him. It's tempting to want to hop on a plane or a train and get as far away as possible. But once I do that, he's gone and I'll never see him again until 3am on July 14th, 2072, when the sneaky little cuss slips in the door and slimes onto me before I ever wake up and notice him No, I'm going to be within visual distance of the snail, slowly moving away from it, until Snail Containment Plan Part A is done.
Next I grab my phone. I call up someone I can trust with my life, and tell them to come to my location within the hour, and to bring a metal cash box, a good padlock, and a firearm. Once they arrive, I inform them of the deal and ask them to grab the snail, shove it into the metal box, and lock it up.
Once the snail is temporarily secured, I ask my friend to carry around the box, never letting it out of their sight, and to prevent its opening with as much force as is required. We arrive at some reasonable figure for this service - Maybe $50,000.
Now we can start in on the real work. I'm on the phone again, contracting with a tungsten machining service out of Willowbrook, IL. I ask them to construct for me a hollow tungsten sphere with a small, sealable opening, ideally via both exterior bolts and sintering. I ask them for a rush job and a thick wall depth, perhaps as much as a foot thick. The spherical shape should keep material costs as low as possible for a given thickness, but between the unusual object, large amount of tungsten, and speedy delivery, I invest a truly insane amount into this project - Let's say $100,000. I ask them to deliver it to my current location as fast as possible.
Once the tungsten ball arrives, I have my friend stand well away from me and transfer the snail into the center of the sphere. I ask them to pour a little salt down into the hole after it, just to give the snail a little reminder of who he's dealing with. Once snail and salt are both inside, we seal the hollow sphere with the bolts.
Tungsten is an amazing material. Incredibly tough, dense, and heat-resistant. You could drop it into molten lava and it wouldn't matter. Which, coincidentally, is almost what I'd like to do next.
Now we make sure that damn thing stays shut. I find the nearest metal refinery and call them up. I also contract with a heavy machinery moving company to move the tungsten sphere to the refinery. Once the refinery has sintered the tungsten sphere shut, I buy an entire industrial crucible (those big buckets) of molten iron. And the crucible the iron came in. I have them drop the tungsten sphere into the molten iron, and let the whole mass cool in place. Mr. Snaily snail ain't going anywhere, but I'm probably down another $100,000.
Now I'm on the phone to specialist movers. Chartering a boat. We're taking this thing halfway around the word. We take the boat right over the marianas trench - Not the deepest point, but deep enough - We push the whole assembly over the side. Literal tons of once-molten iron, refinery crucible, tungsten, salt, and snail slip over the side and begin dropping into the briny deep. Another $100,000 gone, but well worth the cost.
Good. That's bought me a little breathing room. But we're not anywhere close to done yet. I still have at least $500,000 left. I'm going to invest it into solid business ventures and slow growing but secure assets. We're building a fortune - And who cares if it takes a few centuries? I'm frickin' immortal baby!
But as I develop my fortune, it's getting invested into space. SpaceX, asteroid mining projects, whatever. I am trapped on the one planet in the entire universe where I can actually die, and I have no intention of staying there.
Over the millennia, I slowly apply my fortune and influence to push mankind to the stars. And the moment living on another planet becomes viable, I'm there. And the instant a habitable planet is around another star? I'm on the first generation ship heading that direction.
But I can't think in such a short sighted manner now. I'm immortal, and I need to think like it. Eventually, the sun is going to burn the earth to a crisp, and then that damn snail is going to be free. It might take him a few million years to land on something, but he'll do it eventually. And then he will construct a spacecraft and begin crawling towards me again.
What I care about now is lightcones and black holes. Earth's gotta go. Sorry whatever's left of humanity. We evacuate anyone still on the old planet, and use a gravity tractor to push Earth into a black hole. A nice, big one so that hawking radiation will take an incredibly long time to evaporate it away into nothing.
And then I board a ship. A fast ship. I accelerate to as close to lightspeed as I can get, piloting directly away from the black hole with the snail inside. I want to be so far away and moving so quickly that the heat death of the universe would occur far, far before the snail ever reaches me, even on the fastest ship his freakishly clever little brain can construct.
So that's the way the universe ends. With nothing it in except for infrared heat, one hyperintelligent snail suspended in an inky void, and one human screaming away from it at .99C.
Cheers.
fenghuang1 ยท 7715 points ยท Posted at 13:13:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I'll keep the snail locked up but accessible if I want it.
What if I ever get bored of living? I need a way out.
prncpl_vgna_no_rlatn ยท 3829 points ยท Posted at 14:12:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On top of that, if the snail is so smart, why can't it be reasoned with? It is sentient after all, and I'm sure the snail doesn't want to be thrown into a black hole...
[deleted] ยท 4707 points ยท Posted at 14:23:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So all you gotta do is come to a deal and shake on it, right?
prncpl_vgna_no_rlatn ยท 6175 points ยท Posted at 14:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's rii--WOAH! Not so fast SNAIL!!!
FocusForASecond ยท 1515 points ยท Posted at 15:30:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DECOY AGREEMENT, MOTHERFUCKER
theraidparade ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O SHIT! That snail don't fuck around!
Faldoras ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 16:23:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I imagine this as a Rick and Morty episode
SilverSix311 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:59:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that Dan Harmon reads this and makes this into a Rick and Morty episode!
thebiggestandniggest ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:02:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah that show is Reddit enough
Rand366 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:33:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment made me chuckle
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:53:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those sneaky shifty snails. Can't be trusted, man
Alessiolo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god damn he IS clever.
Nimara ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:18:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we don't compromise with terrorists.
SubjectShane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:09:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, the snail's username is u/Felaa
micza ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:55:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You almost sNailed me
schatzski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn super intelligence almost got me!
-Mufasa- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy hand
chaser456 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:27:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail
Ouma_Shu ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yessss, shake it.
flowtronvapes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NICE TRY, SNAIL!
Chrysaliarus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you snail, you don't have any hands. Therefore we can't shake on it.
Zantej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a little Wraith humor!
chiliedogg ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:21:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the snail's so smart, when will he realize that he's trapped a decoy regular snail at the bottom of the ocean?
When he meets his slimy death ten minutes later.
Nocoffeesnob ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:50:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To me this is the most interesting part of the though exercise; do you treat the snail humanely? Our gut animal level instinct would be to do whatever necessary to protect ourself regardless of the impact to others, especially if it only hurts a creature that is usually not intelligent like a snail.
However the snail is an intelligent life form in this scenario so mistreating it is cruel and doing something like imprisoning it in a box is torture. Add to this that as an immortal any confinement or distress could last forever and hence be viewed as exponentially more evil than if you did this to a random person for the rest of their lives - at least non-immortals have hope to escape in the form of death.
Yes, the snail is your only weakness but why would the snail want to harm you? Unless it has reason to believe you might imprison/torture it most likely it simply won't care about you beyond perhaps an emotional bond as you're both immortal. In fact you would be the only person the snail could at all trust. Imprisonment and scientific experiments is guaranteed should it become discovered prior to somehow orchestrating a 100% fool proof plan of defense against this, which considering it's a snail is unlikely to ever be fool proof regardless of it's intelligence. Whereas I am the least likely to want to exploit it for monetary, scientific, or other personal gain as I will desperately want to avoid people discovering my immortality as long as possible. Basically if you are a compassionate person being allies with the snail is the only real option for either of you. Plus keep in mind that snails are not predatory, territorial, or aggressive in any way so the likelihood of intelligence suddenly making it evil seems low as they would have to learn the behavior.
In my mind the only likely serious risk here is not the snail wanting to kill you - it's someone using the snail as a murder weapon against you. It becomes the trope of the invincible enemy who can only be killed by a mythical ancient weapon the hero must go on a quest to procure.
Of course this is assuming you and the snail know each is immortal and that it's touch is your only weakness but nobody else does (at the beginning).
The biggest flaw in all this is that we (humans) can't separate our emotions from our decision making. Much of why we are cruel, kind, or indifferent to others is illogical. The snail, by contrast, has zero emotions (assuming snails don't already) and will run on solely instinct and logic. Instinct will make it want to eat, hide, mate, stay moist, stay in a comfortable temperature range, and mate. It's newly gained will primarily be applied to achieving those instinctual drives without compassion or remorse. If you have something it needs to achieve any of those instinctual needs it would not hesitate to kill or torture anyone to achieve those needs; which essentially makes it evil.
Grooviest_Saccharose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:55:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the snail must have emotion, since it has a brain capable of it, and otherwise the snail would be no different than a super intelligent AI, and that's not what we're dealing with. That being said, this snail emotion should be of a different nature than human emotion though. So maybe we treat the snail not humanely, but "snailey", so to speak, as any other snails with its intelligence would treat it.
With its high intelligence, the snail should know, eventually, that somebody will want to use it against us as well, even though we ourselves may want nothing to do with it. He may be immortal, but his freedom can still be severely hindered, given the fact that its snail physicality is its weakness. Keeping track of the entire human population is definitely a much more difficult task than keeping track of us alone. So its best course of action would probably still have something to do with us, either killing us first or coming to some form of agreement.
So in the spirit of self preservation, as well as behaving civilly, the best thing we can do is to have a discussion with the snail on how to keep each other safe. It may be super intelligent, but it cannot know everything, so a talk between the two is necessary. How can a snail and a human talk to each other you ask? The genie who came up with this eternal game and granted both us and the snail immortality seems like someone who can talk to both snail and human, he can work as our translator just fine.
acog ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:45:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a nice thought, but you and I both know that snails are devious little creatures and can't be trusted.
KingofCraigland ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:31:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but can you ever truly trust a snail? Keep in mind all that intelligence wrapped up in such a pathetic body may make the snail want to end things sooner than later no matter the cost.
TheDungeonCrawler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it could build itself a body that can act human.
KingofCraigland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we would end up with something like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It would still want to kill itself.
TheDungeonCrawler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily. It's super intelligent so if it were to use its immortality to build itself a body it could design it to ease its suffering and build it to signal pleasure in the snail's brain.
fistymcbuttpuncher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:50:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail is immortal too, make it a good immortality and it might not want it to end by killing you.
RenegadeBS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's more, if you are "immortal," yet can be killed by a snail... there HAS to be some kind of kryptonite that can hurt the immortal snail!
Oh_Hi_Mark_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a superintelligent alien mind whose sole line item in its utility function is to ensure your death. If you think any kind of interaction between this snail and the outside world is going to end with you still alive, you might need to ask the folks over at /r/notparanoidenough for some lessons in pessimism.
skit7548 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really want to try making a deal and trusting that small to keep the deal when it's the only thing in the universe that can kill you?
249ba36000029bbe9749 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, give it $500K to leave you alone.
Grooviest_Saccharose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a lifetime of eternity, that $500K is nothing for either us or the snail.
249ba36000029bbe9749 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have an eternity of compound interest. $500K is plenty to start with and if the snail takes you up on it, you'll never have to worry about it ever again.
FaitFretteCriss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the right term is "sapient", sentient just means the being possess senses and can "feel", it doesnt mean thoughtful intelligence.
BrownChicow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also you could probably take the snails million. What is a snail gonna do with money? Now you have $2 million. And at least put the poor guy in a inescapable terrarium or some shit with other snail buddies
OniNomad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a sentient snail and you're the only way to end the hell that is its life. There is nothing you can offer it that makes up for being a thinking, feeling immortal living tongue in a shell.
Led_Hed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, and understand! That snail is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever, until you are dead!
GemJack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never tried reasoning with a snail. They're damn ruthless.
antony1197 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That snail could become my wingman.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
antony1197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would put him in a hamster ball and he'd follow me around right? Might have to walk slow but we'd get all the bitches.
btao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at least it doesn't have any hands
PM-ME-TITS-IN-TOPS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Everyone assumes the snail is evil and is trying to kill you. Poor guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
SnoodDood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, just because it's smart doesn't mean it's not still a snail. It's impossible for it to make it out of a run of the mill 50 dollar safe. Just put it in there and invest your $999,950 wisely.
D-Speak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, does it lose its immortality and hyper-intelligence upon touching me? Doesn't seem like a good deal for either of us...
redditor1983 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That's a huge loophole in this thought experiment.
It says "super intelligent snail."
What does that mean? Does that mean it's smart compared to other snails (so still pretty dumb)? Does it mean it's as smart as a human? Does it mean it's smarter than the most advanced AI humans could possibly create? What?
It's too broad.
PanamaMoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail goes into black hole
ShortchangeParamecia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, the second you pour salt on him you gave that snail a personal, eons long vendetta.
SpiritousLeech9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They never said the snail was smart, just that it's always crawling to you trying to touch you.
SnapeWho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The universe is a dark forest, filled with hunters, all seeking each other and fighting to survive. You and the snail have no way to trust each other because you have no way to know what the other is truly thinking, and the possibility of extermination is there.
Rojaddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it is more intelligent than you, attempting to reason with it is probably the surest way for it to kill you.
OktoberStorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That it's super intelligent doesn't mean it wants to be reasoned with, or even are able to. Yes, it will understand the pleas, threats, and bargains from this guy here, but we still don't know anything about its motive.
Helmic ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 14:40:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah man, surviving heat death is a major problem. As smart as that presumably malevolent snail is, it can't communicate. Having it tossed into a reasonably sized metal ball that you secretly keep with you at all times means it isn't likely to be opened without your consent. Since it's with you, you don't risk losing it and accidentally surviving eternity. Dying early because the snail found a way out sucks, sure, but floating in space alone sucks way more.
PliskinSnake ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 15:02:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Floating in space alone for eternity. Not like end of the universe eternity but even when space and time are no longer things you would still be there. Where there is I have no idea but that sounds absolutely horrifying. I think I'd keep the snail in an accessible location, absurdly secured but still accessible for when the universe becomes so inhospitable I will want to leave it.
chemdot ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 15:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, imagine if your ship gets destroyed somehow and you are flung into space with nothing but the tungsten sphere to keep you company. Exposed to endless torture with your only means of escape sealed within a prison of your own making, and with nothing but your teeth and nails to work your way through.
fferapont ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:59:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pro tip: Watch Doctor Who - Heaven Sent episode. Mind = blown
Don't look at synopsis, just watch it.
Suicinethrowaway ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
literally my favourite who episode. worth watching season 9 just for that ep.
fferapont ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my top 5 as well. River Song arc was beautiful as well, The Library and Husbands of River Song had me in tears.
My gf suspects that I'm secretly a teenage girl and this hasn't done a thing to help that notion.
foobar5678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently just watched all of the River Song episodes. The entire story line is amazing.
chemdot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the third/fourth person on the internet (and the first on reddit so far) to recommend that I watch Dr Who. Thing is, that's supposedly a Season 9 episode (if the other commenter is right), and I have a mental problem with sequence-breaking in any series for fear of spoilers...
I might just end up marathoning the whole show at some point. When I do, I will let you know how I liked that episode :P
fferapont ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a self contained episode, you don't need to know a single thing about doctor who to enjoy it. "dude with some experience with time travel just lost a loved one and is transported to a weird location" is all you need to know to get all out of it. Funny, you'll probably be the fourth person I nagged into watching it, all of them never watched a single episode of the show before. They all enjoyed it immensely and had their minds blown at the ending. Just a fucking A episode.
e: also almost no spoilers or references to other episodes either
chemdot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that! I might just go look it up after all as long as it is self-contained... :D
Totally off-topic stuff below.
Your comment about having nagged four other people besides me would have been pretty disconcerting if you hadn't gone on to describe how they enjoyed the ending. For all we know, you could have been repeatedly nagging the same person on four different social networks, hehe.
We could still make that plot work though. I could be some dude with repeated bouts of amnesia. I keep getting the same show recommended to me since I keep jocularly mentioning plot lines that I vaguely remember, and I keep rewatching the entire Dr Who series, forgetting most of the stuff about it, rinse and repeat.
We'll call it "Who's Dr Who?"
fferapont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, nah, they were people IRL. The episode is somewhat akin to Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, keeping you in the dark and quite confused until the last moment, where all the pieces fall together and you experience that exhilarating feeling of "getting it". Sadly, it's not something most people would bother to watch until the very end ("what is this unconnected bullshit, I'm out") unless somebody really insisted the ending is worth it. Seeing two people go from "meh" to "huh, I wonder what's going on" to, and I quote, "holy shit, holy fuck, Jesus christ, wow" was a rare pleasure lol
So 50 first dates, but I'm a online stalker forcing you to watch shit?
nice
chemdot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's another one I need to get to. Thanks for essentially dictating my post-exam schedule for me.
Helmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having not watched Dr. Who myself, I've had it described to me as great movie ideas turned into standalone TV episodes. Lots of self contained plots loosely tied together by the Doctor.
bananapeel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:39:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Problem: after the heat death of the universe, eventually even protons will evaporate. The tungsten cage might as well be made of tissue paper, in the long term.
brickmaster32000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IF you are immortal can't you stop the heat death of the universe? If you can't die of starvation that means you don't need food for energy. You can use the free energy your body generates to shove matter back into lower entropy states stalling the heat death of the universe.
AveragelyAverageGuy ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:50:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a great film idea. A super mysterious billionaire becomes obsessed with a mining operation into the Mariana trench, to recover an unknown object of great value. Everyone gets excited, not knowing whats down there. Then some dodgy Russian Gangsters get there first, and rumours start circling about a new super weapon, possibly alien.
Meanwhile the Russians are trying to figure out wtf is up with this snail. It appears to be immortal, totally unharmable and always trying to move in one direction. After a science filled montage, they manage to find a way to communicate. They decide to build a mind controllable robot for the snail, in return for a promise; the secret of immortality.
Mr Billionaire meanwhile discovers someone has taken the snail and becomes paranoid, deciding he no longer wants to die. He devotes all his efforts into tracking the snail down, whilst getting a spaceship ready for a one-way trip.
After some minor side plot developments, we get to see a showdown of the Robot snail vs the military power of Mr Billionaire. There's lots of michael bay moments, epic scenes, new york gets destroyed, again, but in the end the Billionaire wins, catching the snail in a simple cardboard box.
Final scene sees the rocket being prepared, with the snail about to be loaded. The countdown begins, but at the last second the billionaires granddaughter runs out and hugs the snail/box, asking to keep it as a pet. The emotional music starts up, as the Immortal man has a change of heart. The granddaughter keeps the snail as a pet, until one day, many years later her grandpa asks to hold it. After saying something deep and meaningful about life, he closes his eyes for a final time, with the snail resting peacefully on his chest.
Roll credits.
TwatsThat ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:11:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As life expectancy goes up so does the likelihood of becoming permanently trapped in some way (earthquake, 127 hours, or something) so an immortal is virtually guaranteed to become permanently trapped at some point. Keeping the snail locked up and on your person is a good idea. Also, as long as the snail is just smart and immortal and has no other powers it's easy enough to keep it locked up.
FuzzyCollie2000 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:50:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail.
CWSwapigans ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:09:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all are kind of cruel. He's a super intelligent being. It's monstrous to lock him up in a steel ball.
He also has zero reason to touch you and kill you (unless you start torturing him, I guess).
rachawakka ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:34:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Part of the question is that he's always crawling towards you and thats what he uses his intelligence for
agareo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:08:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A superintelligent being trapped in a snail's body would want death
khaliFFFa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no way for him to die lmao, probably will be the most depressed creature on the world
WowDoge7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking exactly that. True immortality would be miserable, especially after the heat death of the universe.
stickyourshtick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see OP's story ending with him begging for death's kind escape after being alone for a few billion years. He would be left searching for the snail for ever damned to be left living in a void of nothingness. Sounds terrible.
antoninj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was exactly my thought. And just have someone stick a GPS on it and let it go. I'm sure with all the unimaginable cash hoarded over a long period of time, you could easily just find a more humane solution to the problem while keeping the snail always accessible.
GENTLEMANxJACK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The O'l adamantium bullet huh.
Northernlighter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
like when the universe collapses and you're stuck in the infinite void of space? yeah! I would love to have the snail right about then...
BiceRankyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a beautiful twist it would be if you opened the box and found the snail had never been immortal in the first place.
Or if you touched it, sitting on the beach with your finest wine and nothing happened.
Crypt0Nihilist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Locked up in a bunker on salt flats.
esaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this guy makes it sound like anybody can invest and build a business. I'm a pretty experienced entrepreneur and my company doesn't OK but even now I sometimes lose a lot of money on ideas I think are good at the time. This guy could easily blow the remaining $500k and be broke for eternity. Having the snail around to end it all is probably a good idea if you screw up bad enough and just want to end it all.
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just put the snail in a hamster ball (newly built one out strong material) that you are the only on that unlock. He can always roll around and move but is never touching you, with a GPS tag.
If you want to get him away from you then shoot his ass into space.
whatmonsters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was always my thought. I mean I've been on this planet for what, 18 years, and I'm already sick of a lot of it. Eternity? Nope. A couple hundred years would do me just fine.
SirZammerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Keep it in an insanely secured box filled with salt (to prevent it from trying anything). Then bury said box in a location no-one (or very few people, ICE) gets to know about. And buy that land. You don't want some farmer accidentaly digging up and freeing the one thing that is guaranteed to kill you.
Anyway, the key to the puzzle is to lock the snail up first thing instead of losing track of it. It's insane intelligence gives it a huge advantage if it gets the chance to utilize it.
whitestguyuknow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Why the hell would you want to be alive in this universe AFTER heat death?? That's insane. What's the point? The only way I would want to still be alive is if I could hop to another universe. Otherwise I'd much rather be dead
i_sigh_less ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I was thinking. Also, I'd probably just use a plexiglass box so I could keep an eye on him.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy suicide
DoneDigging ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. After the heat death of the universe, he would be surrounded by nothingness forever.
Jerm2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It says you're immortal, not invincible.
walterwhiteknight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the Tide Lords series. The first book starts with an immortal dealing with the after effects of a suicide attempt. His neck painfully reconstructing itself while he lays there paralyzed until his spinal cord knits back together.
Jerm2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are right, I had my definition of immortal confused.
cptainvimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you read that series? Is it worth reading?
walterwhiteknight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. It was way better than I expected.
madeyoublush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We seem to be forgetting that immortal doesn't necessarily mean invincible! Why not get your friend to step on the snail rather than keep it in solitary confinement for millions of years?
AtomicToasterHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a decoy snail.
madsci ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a super-intelligent snail, nothing says that it's inherently evil or means you any arm - it's just apparently compelled to move toward you. Imprisoning a thinking being for an eternity sounds cruel.
Why not establish communication with the snail first? Find out what it wants, and whether you can come to some kind of understanding. Maybe he doesn't want to keep crawling toward you and you can work something out that benefits both of you.
Also, you're totally right about making sure the snail is always accessible. You're going to want a way out eventually.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd feel so bad keeping an immortal, intelligent snail locked up forever. :( I'd build him a kickass thing and let him hang out.
Wawfulz00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Immortal and invincible are two separate things in my opinion.
You can still blow the dude up with a nuke.
Well_thatwas_random ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Twilight Zone plot....
lennybird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He made a fatal mistake of dropping in into the ocean. Corrosion... Eventually, would eat through the iron easily and probably the tungsten.
l-Orion-l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree! This could turn into one fucked up Black Mirror ep.
Dongo666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only right answer.
CrimsonSmear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd at least keep track of where in the Marianas Trench the block of iron was dropped. Why send the entire Earth into a black hole when you can just send a relatively small lump of metal?
Ezl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in a nice pendant.
Nightshot ยท 3652 points ยท Posted at 13:10:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail.
fixingtheboner ยท 1053 points ยท Posted at 13:55:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be very easy to determine if it is a decoy snail or not. Just walk around it. If it continues to follow you (like it is required to at all times), then you know it is the real snail. If it doesn't then its just a normal snail.
I_am_Bearstronaut ยท 1363 points ยท Posted at 14:37:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the real snail paid the decoy to follow him around?
xelested ยท 1661 points ยท Posted at 15:11:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not get unrealistic. The rules clearly state that only the supersnail is intelligent. How would this decoy snail understand currency?
Clearly it's a robot built by the killer snail.
Davidhasahead ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:49:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smash it. That decoy isn't immortal.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is going to concert
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, his username is u/Davidhasahead, not u/Davidhasabrain.
Lordoftheintroverts ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:25:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend that you called on the phone would be the one to smash the decoy snail
Grooviest_Saccharose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you be sure that he did? The snail is cunning.
danceswithwool ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:45:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if I shoot it with a shotgun? Is that touching?
uurrnn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pour salt on it
Excalibur54 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:33:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smash it with a plank
Leprechorn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:20:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now you've got bits of snail flying around the room. RIP /u/excalibur54
BobsBreadsticks ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 15:24:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be another snail, genetically engineered to be hyper intelligent.
27Rench27 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:30:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean if this snail is smart enough for OP to worry about it building a ship, he could easily create decoy versions of himself with, say, a century or two.
maxiimus1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:08:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, new plan: pay your buddy or some merceneries to guard you for like 2 weeks. All the snails that come near you are caught in a cage. The real snail is required to follow you, so he must get there sooner or later. Then burn all the snails you caught. The decoy snails will all die, but the real one will be alive.
isjustwrong ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:12:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good way to find the real snail, but there is no telling how long it will take to get to you. Both of you are immortal. Time is no longer the on the same scale as your buddy or anything for that matter.
maxiimus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, you invest your money to get more money. You hire a lifetime bodyguard to follow you around until you catch the real one. It might cost you 100k it might cost you a million, maybe 5 million, depending on how long it takes the snail to reach you. But I think it'd be easy to find someone to do the job for like 6k a month. Hell that's only 72k a year. With your investments in the stock market, you'll have earned more than that in a year. And the job is easy, hell I would take it for 6k a month.
Edit: In my mind, the snail can't rest. He always walks towards you. He might even invent some kind of snail bike to go faster. Or hop on a car to the aorplane and hop on a plane to you. But he doesn't stop. So it won't take him more than 5 years to get to you (if he walks all the way.) Now I'm interested how long it would take a snail to get from the farthest point from you to take you. Like he's on the opposite part of the earth.
Perkelton ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:27:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh now you're done for. The hyperintelligent snail would obviously just pay the mercenaries off using the vast fortune it quickly generated through a few small but sound investments.
ARealSlimBrady ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:04:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funneling the revenue from such investments through a vast network of.. shell corporations
SirSummit ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:02:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I read let's not get unrealistic I lost it hahahaha
genmischief ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doom snail, of DOOM.
DeetBasim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he does also have 1 million dollars.
Rockymountains1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if the snail puts slime in the robot and the robot hits you with it-do you die?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also you can pay you friend to squish it, if its the decoy itll die if its the real one it will live.
k-NE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying he's building Synths??? God damn the Institute is led by a snail.
hogger85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hyper intelligent snail sprays you secretly with snail sex hormone so all snails try to come to you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:11 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supersnail cloned itself.
JumBo_117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:55 on November 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being intelligent, wouldn't the snail just move at one direction,causing you to believe its just a regular snail,in order not to get captured?
RaiyenZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A super intelligent would be able to communicate and convince any snail to do their job.
Billybobsatan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would the regular snail understand it? Snails aren't exactly known for being social animals.
PurplePride9844 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:10:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other snails aren't smart enough to follow directions. Just the first snail
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:16:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless that super intelligent snail has domesticated other snails and taught them how to follow humans.
Pachops427 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:24:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hire a friend to step on any snail nearby - only one isn't going to get crushed instantly
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:26:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snails now come equipped with a deadly poisoned barb under their shell. Your friend died frothing at the mouth while slowly, surely a lone snail trods towards you with a singular purpose.
moneymet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about its children?
dhingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoot it, if it dies it's the decoy
Billybilly_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well fuck
batquux ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 14:03:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what do you do if it's a decoy snail? The real one is out there, unwatched.
alex3omg ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait in an empty room with bodyguards keeping eyes on the white floor. Ring of salt works too.
The_Prequels_Denier ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ring of salt would only hurt the snail. It wouldn't deter his requirement to move towards you.
alex3omg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:14:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would slow him down and give the body guards more time to catch him
SensibleMadness ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the requirement it be constantly moving toward you works against the idea that it's super intelligent. Surely, if it was super intelligent, it would move in a more random fashion to throw you off the scent.
fixingtheboner ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:59:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A super intelligent snail may not even be that intelligent by human standards. The hypothetical doesn't specify. If the snail is super intelligent by human standards, then it would probably make a deal with the human to keep the good situation going. Think about it, they could both travel the world together and be buds forever.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:12:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until the human accidentally steps on the snail, killing them both.
SheolCodeMonkey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:19:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never said the snail dies if touched, oh god! Imagine being a crushed snail, but alive!
jellyfishdenovo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know what I'm doing Saturday night!
TheNewRavager ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:16:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, buds forever! high fives
maxiimus1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that is out of his control, no matter how smart he is, it is engraved into his brain that he must kill this person and he can never stop. It is his only purpose.
SensibleMadness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely. I think without that part it's a boring question because of the whole idea of just reasoning with the snail. The problem is that it's worded as if it's constantly moving toward you. Saying it always wants to kill you would be better, because then it allows for the possibility that the snail may not always be moving, thereby making it more difficult to identify it. Is that snail chilling on the wall just any snail or is it the murderous snail? Who knows, because it's smart enough to stop moving when you're looking at it.
Tee_Hee_Helpmeplz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:37:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if the decoy snail made a copy of itself. So its a double decoy snail.
konaya ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail is intelligent, not omnipotent. It would still be a small mollusc.
Fish-Knight ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:01:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You underestimate my power".
crooks4hire ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:01:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salt the snail...if it doesn't die...not a decoy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or squash the snail with something and see if it survives.
i_am_icarus_falling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just have your buddy smash it, decoy snail can't be immortal.
Mathev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the original snake made a robot life like replica as a decoy? He's smart and resourcefull after all.
vletch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or just step on the decoy snail to see if it is immortal.
USBrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super intelligent snail would be aware of this.
Itxi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or, you know, throw salt at it and see if it is harmed.
TobiasCB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoot it with a gun.
chonaXO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy following around
cooldude2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just smash the snail with a hammer and if it lives its the real snail but if it dies its the decoy snail.
lazarus78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail isn't required to follow you 100% of the time, or at all for that matter. It simply knows where you are at all times. And if it is super smart, then why not reason with it? What good does it killing you do?
Animorphs135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you turn to see if it tracks you, the real one strikes from behind!
YuriDiAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could always test the immortality of the snail. There can't be that many immortal snails around.
THANKS-FOR-THE-GOLD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're on a globe, there are millions of directions it could crawl 'towards you'.
For example just imagine you're both on on opposite sides of the globe, any direction the snail moves in is towards you and therefore, the opposite of every direction the snail moves is STILL TOWARDS YOU.
A superintelligent snail would OBVIOUSLY know this and use this to its advantage to trick you into thinking it wasn't the real one.
Leprechorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or try to kill it. If it's a decoy, it's probably pretty easy to kill even with a magnifying glass on a sunny day.
Hogspringer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:38:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate atheists
jellyfishdenovo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy atheists
NotClever ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:26:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that thread was mildly interesting except for the part where it was an excuse for OP to insist that the snail always got around whatever plans anyone had.
ThePsion5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:58:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding? That was the best part.
NotClever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, reminds me of the annoying kids in gradeschool that would ask you similar hypothetical questions and refuse to admit that you'd ever found an "answer."
jellyfishdenovo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy OP
xmotorboatmygoatx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:40:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy fuck
Tinfoilpain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Shit.
jellyfishdenovo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy shit
Chopstick2U ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey you! I'll pay you $50 to step on that snail right there."
Zyphrox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just shoot the snail before you put it in the sphere. If it comes back to life, its the real one.
ireter294 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just try to kill it by crushing it with something. If it dies, it's a normal snail. If it doesn't it's an immortal snail that wants you dead.
Billybobsatan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get that the guy who originally made that thread was trying to be funny, but that was such a bullshit cop-out. How could the snail convince other snails to work with it? The rules specify that only the deadly snail is smart, and snails have no hands. So unless this snail managed to change the evolution of his brethren through sheer force of will alone, then decoy snails are total bullshit.
ClintRenee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate.
Player72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Throwing decoy.
Declanhx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew this was going to be the first reply.
Decoy human ftw
ToastedSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy Decoy Snail
jellyfishdenovo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy decoy decoy snail
Timo1241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/DecoySnail
Fuzzyfrap ยท 2295 points ยท Posted at 13:43:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was jerking off because the post above this one was porn but now I just was jerking off to a story about trapping a snail and the death of the universe.
A regular day on Reddit.
Thetravelingboy ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:40:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, to be alive! THIS IS LIFE!
banana_buddy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:57:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gilded for accuracy in defining Reddit in a nutshell.
Fuzzyfrap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much appreciated! I'm honored to represent the mediocrity that is the average Redditor
Chaphasilor ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:26:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/evenwithcontext
062b ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/SnailMurderPorn
CrustyBreads ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:25:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not clicking that.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:16:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry I checked it's not real.
GenocidalGenie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:16:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately.
CrustyBreads ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:16:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing god's work, son.
KushDingies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I read this, the post above this one was grandma tits.
Fuzzyfrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
;) shhhh
IAmTheNight2014 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might I ask which one? For science, of course.
Fuzzyfrap ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:08:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail story with the box and the sphere of metal and space? The one that I replied to?
Just kidding, here ya go:
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph56c0e2b9b2509
IAmTheNight2014 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just gonna...save that. :)
Fuzzyfrap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:12:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't actually watched the video yet but there was a quite nice gif. I hope that the video satisfies you fellow Reddit masturbator
Potato_Shaped_Burns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is short but gold.
critfist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thedjotaku ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:03:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
now the one above it is surviving nuclear apocalypse
Fuzzyfrap ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp I better get back to work
dirkson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I could help ;)
mormotomyia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with a decoy snail
gaussjordanbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boob grandma?
Jah_Ith_Ber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were jerking off your heart.
Fuzzyfrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4chan was wrong. I CAN jerk off my heart!
-Xren- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry, I misread your username as fuzzyfap.....
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:56:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP my sides
Americanzi0216 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:31:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comment was made by u/dirkson.
No idea how this guy has 6k upvotes and hasn't given credit.
dirkson ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that happens a lot. Usually on imgur, though.
Americanzi0216 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry man, I tried.
dirkson ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a big deal. I'm actually just happy someone mentioned my name - I like seeing where this stupid story I bullshitted out over an hour or two ends up. So far it's the most widely shared thing I've written!
Americanzi0216 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because it's fucking ridiculous and damn funny. I remember laughing out loud at work when you first posted it. You should get used to seeing your name pop up in random threads, it will go down in Reddit history.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dirkson ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:35:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! And thanks!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what if your friend just throws the snail at you so he gets all the money
TheLegendofPie ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:48:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need new friends
mattyyt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:01:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be dead. It's your friend that would need new friends.
Jacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you have a decoy body.
DibblerTB ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The year is 2217. Humanity has killed itself with global warming and pollution. A small community remains.
Time and time again, they have been saved by a mysterious figure, dubbed "the angel" by the community. It seems to travel around the edges of the community, bringing gifts of technology, books and ancient canned food.
/ubucket4life has long been wishing for death, but need human civilization to return, in order to get the diving and machining gear to bring back the snail.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:41 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed really hard at this comment, but since he's immortal, couldn't he just tie weights to himself and sink to the bottom of the trench, then slowly but surely cut into the crucible with hand tools until he reaches the snail?
Even if it took 200 years of slowly hammering away underwater with a mallet and chisel, it would be a lot faster than trying to single-handedly rebuild human civilization back to the point where it develops SCUBA gear and machining tools.
Chivalry13 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:26:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have not laughed that hard in months. Thank you.
dirkson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say except, "you're welcome"?
DecorationOnly ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:25:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: the black hole was a worm hole (or snail hole, if you prefer) that throws the snail back in time hundreds of years before this arrangement occurs. The snail invests his money wisely and becomes a multibillionaire before the deal occurs.
The snail adopts a child and pays a man and a women to raise this boy and pretend to be his parents. The snail secretly trains this boy in sleight of hand and tells the boy that he will inherit the snail's entire fortune if he performs one simple task: at a certain age, he will be offered a modest sum (around $50,000) to put a snail in a cash box, then subsequently in a tungsten ball.
During the transfer to the tungsten ball, the boy is to switch out the first snail with a second snail and smuggle the first snail out of the house, dropping the snail off at a secret location. It is at this location, the snail will start out his journey - the journey to the end of the giant Rube Goldberg machine/sequence that will ultimately lead the boy's friend to board a fast spaceship, one that will contain the snail, sitting on the captain's chair armrest that the boy's friend will rest his hand on as they fly away from a black hole.
HierarchofSealand ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:12:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like you could skip the 'throw the planet into a singularity' bit, and jump straight to light speed travel. It doesn't seem as if it would matter much once you've got that. Build a large generational ship with all the amenities you could possibily ask for, and start traveling it will probably be millenia before the snail escapes. Which means you'll be many thousands of light years away from him when that happens.
I'd also be tempted to trying to find a bore hole rather than dropping him in an ocean. The bore hole will be harder to find, less accessible when you do, easy to seal, and less susceptible to escape due to weathering.
dirkson ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:05:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is why, in the year 127 trillion, you're going to suffer a horrible surprise.
The last stars will have long since burnt out. But our little friend the snail has been working the entire time. It only took a few million years for rust, erosion, and general entropy to wear down his prison. He was released on a fine summer's day, although it took him a few years to actually crawl up out of the trench. Then he set to work.
Humanity had died off, but the snail was able to affect the course of evolution on some nearby animals in order to push them towards intelligence. He carefully guides their civilization, and they see him as a living god - Why wouldn't they? He's immortal and hyperintelligent. And when God says he wants a starship? You build a starship.
And our little slimy friend is much, much smarter than us, and he's able to figure out a trick or two that we weren't. Our ship is screaming along at 0.99C, and has a several million year head start. But his can go 0.991C, and he sets off in our direction as quickly as his technology will allow.
Thus he creeps up on us for the next few trillion years with his 0.001C speed differential, snail-like in his patience. You'll see him gaining on you, fantastically blueshifted and travelling crazily fast, a mere few weeks before he arrives. You've made a mistake, and after 127 trillion years of uninterrupted life, you will die within the next two months. The thought fills you with cold dread.
You see, no matter what you do, you're still within the light cone of the snail. If has has access to matter, his hyperintelligent brain will come up with a way to exploit it to reach you. In order to win, you have to make sure that there is no matter near him when he finally escapes. Thus the black hole.
Cheers.
JazzyAces808 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we're overdue for a role reversal. If you're the snail, what would your plan be? How would you deal with the average person, and what would you do to thwart your own plan?
PS: Have you ever read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality? You'd probably enjoy it.
dirkson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:29 on August 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A role reversal might be neat sometime.
I have read HPMoR! And I did enjoy it, thank you!
totally_boring ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would of dug a hole in the salt flats and buried the snail in them, then dumped a bunch of fake nuclear bars and warning signs to keep people away.
KapiTod ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:40:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I die if the snail touches me, but not if I touch it.
Imma step on him.
saarlac ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:27:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snail is immortal. Congrats you've now got your death slowly crawling along the bottom of your boot.
Mail540 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:41:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we found Elon Musks Reddit account
Quantainium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:10:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the snail want to kill you? What does it gain for this? If it's intelligent it should be reasonable as well. Surely you can come to an agreement so there isn't a surprise one day. Maybe meet up every year or decade to catch up. Surely an immortal would want someone to live out eternity with. Nothing more lonely than watching the universe die without you anyone to keep you company.
ciaeric2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:58:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait this is the best rated answer? Id just put the snail on a treadmill going the exact same speed its going (but in the opposite direction its going, therefore he'll probably never move more than a few inches). and hook it up to solar power and a back up generator. Use the rest of the money to lock him up in an airtight ceramic box.
Pay some guy to check back every so often, and keep on with life.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:21:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SelfReconstruct ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Custom design a treadmill floor that covers a full circle around the snail. Then pay a few guards to always watch it.
ciaeric2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what i mean.
hilfigertout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But eventually the power will run out. Electronics don't last forever. The simpler the better.
ciaeric2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very true, as long as i can pay people to keep the snail held down while replacing the electronics, it should be fine
ciaeric2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hyper intelligence doesnt let it move past the ability of a snail though. Its like saying if you put Stephen Hawking on the same rotational treadmill and told him to roll around to get off, he most likely wouldnt be able to due to the limitation of his bodily functions.
ElGiggle1018 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. Iโll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then Iโll put that flea in a box, and then Iโll put that box inside of another box, and then Iโll mail that box to myself, and when it arrivesโฆIโll smash it with a hammer! Itโs brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! โฆOr, to save on postage, Iโll just poison him with this.
What was the need for your friend to bring the firearm?
Goluxas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill anyone that the snail hired to interfere.
hekatonkhairez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:04:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh, I'd keep it in a mason jar and feed if dandelion leaves. We should both be able to enjoy immortality.
migrainium ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:56:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this plan is you paid your friend 50k and the snail has 1million to bribe your friend with.
footpetaljones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snails can't talk, though
migrainium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snails aren't superintelligent either, but a theoretically superintelligent one would find a way to get the point across.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome.
funkmasta_kazper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah but there's your problem. True immortality would be torture. After the eventually heat death of the universe its just you, and nothing - forever. I'm all for locking that bad boy away for a few billion years but eventually, eventually... after all other humans die and you're huddled on some cold distant star somehwere, he'll be the only thing you have left. You'll come to look at him as a friend. And lonely day, when you realize how truly, utterly tired you are, you'll bust open that Tungsten cage and see his gloopy little hate- filled body, and you'll smile.
Randywolf69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what does the snail do with its 1 million dollars? You paid your friend $50,000 to trap it. What if the snail paid your friend a whole million to instead of put it in the box, to throw it on you. Game over buddy...
AdOpsDude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was fucking awesome dude
no1dead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elon musk?
fjzappa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... So it's Elon Musk's life story, then...
StickyVenom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot that the snail also gets a million dollars at the start of this.
Jonosteve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I have read in a very long time
Carvernicus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I could think was that the black hole just opens up directly in front of wherever OP had traveled to.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god that poor snail and salt ๐ฑ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's retarded though. You don't need to keep an eye on the snail. You know it's crawling toward you so every now and then just change place.
Kobsteron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail
SomeDankIdiot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail
WikstromSam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you guys just ripping off the Rooster Teeth video?
dogbertst ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually feel really bad for snail. You assured your survival but poor snail will suffer an eternity for that. And its not like this snail choose to be involved. I think I gona start some cult or something so my grand grand children can actually free the snail and help her get you!
Other than that - ur plan sounds solid. I like it. When u create next one make sure u keep it a secret, or u'll just help snail, me and my followers kill u!
LeviAEthan512 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This all assumes I was with the snail at the time of the deal and I know it is this snail. If not, if I don't know which snail it is, I wouldn't take the deal. Not worth the loss of peace of mind.
Far too elaborate in my opinion. I was with him until the sphere, but that's where I disagree. I would seal the snail, the platform it was on, and the gloves my friend used to handle it, in titanium sphere, cover it in a thin ( like 0.1mm) layer of gold, followed by 1mm of graphite, and then a few more mm of titanium. This is for easy inspection of damage and corrosion, which there should be none of. I keep this sphere in my home. In a fireproof case so if the building burns down, it doesn't draw the suspicion of firefighters. Nobody knows of this sphere, so nobody looks for it. The case is inside a wall, hidden using plaster or any appropriate material to make the hidden compartment indistinguishable from normal wall. This is in case of break in. Only my best friend knows of the deal, along with the wives I may have over my infinite lifetime. My friend will die eventually, and he fully understands and believes the gravity of the situation. My wife, I explain it to her and she will think I'm crazy. I make sure she doesn't tell anyone. "But honey, is it really that important?" Yes. But maybe it's not. Even if there's some doubt in your mind, can you just not tell because it's irrationally important to me? Even if I'd never find out, even if you're 110% sure nothing will come of it, I'm sure I could cheat on you with the same conditions, but I won't. It is of the same level of importance to me. You may think I'm testing you. Even if I was, why would you want to fail the test?
That probably settles it for the remainder of human civilisation. After everyone else is gone, I won't want to live anymore, so then I slowly start to crack open the sphere and finally die. If at some point it became a challenge, and not just to maximise the enjoyment I get of my life, then the original black hole method is good.
prophetuscaecus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... What did the snail do with HIS million dollars?
2nd_law_is_empirical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something decoy snails.
fathertime979 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just get him into a hamsterball made out of transparent aluminum wrapped in bullet proof glass.
Plan with him and befriend the little bugger use both of you to ensure the sustained lives of the both of you and do whatever the fuck you want?
It said it can't touch you, not that it's actively hunting you
thesageofthyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's best for humans I'd we don't achieve immortality... This doesn't seem like healthy behavior.
Aravoid0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should make a game based on this idea.
VindictiveJudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if you have the ability to tow Earth somewhere, then there's no need to destroy the entire planet, you could just dredge up the snail block and throw that into a black hole.
FatalisCogitationis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great and all, but two big errors. One, you need the snail somewhere accessible in case you want to commit suicide. Believe me, you may not want to now or 50 years from now, but you never know. Second: you want a camera wherever you're keeping the snail. To live with security and peace of mind you need to know where that thing is at all times. That means not sealing it away without keeping an eye on it.
Turmoil_Engage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story of Elon Musk. Has to be
broadsheetvstabloid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much quicker...in step 1 have you friend bring a metal box half full of salt, have him throw the snail in that and lock it, done.
OmniQuestio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But.... What if you end up living a life of misery and pain and actually, legitimately want to die at some point? The premise is that you are immortal, not that you are fit for any adverse conditions you may find, on Earth or otherwise.
ereldar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great plan! Well thought out. But what if you eventually want to die?
griffin958 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd do the same thing except at the very beginning spray paint that fucker bright red so I never have to worry about other snails
ObviouslyNotAMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail is super intelligent though. Let's say he got as much time as you to prepare. He's got his snail friends with him, maneuvering giant robots with snail drivers etc. U r fukd.
DerekNotDerrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Elon Musk is an immortal just trying to get away from a snail.
SharpAsATick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only problem with the plan is that 99.9999999999999% of your immortality will be spent alone in the universe with nothing around you just floating in dark cold empty space, until, hopefully, everything comes crashing back to one single point to start over again where you meet the snail.
Time... is a bitch.
Oscanders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would also have to make sure you were not kidnapped by the government or religious fanatics once it becomes apparent you're immortal.
CaptainGrandpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the autobiography of Elon musk?
xDangeRxDavEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pay someone to put it in a heavy container. Intelligence only goes so far is you're limited by strength.
TheFake0ne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you find the snail in the first place?
The_Prophet_Muhammed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great plan if only it weren't a DECOY SNAIL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, this plan won't work for me.
flukshun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here i am building a little rotating park so that little guy can get some enjoyment out of eternity and not spend it walking into a wall it cant climb
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a load of crap. Spend most of the money on hookers and blow and spend the rest foolishly. When the money runs out, touch the snail.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmfao
jsavage44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Dwight?
PlentifulCoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will it break the black hole if it can't completely evaporate away with an immortal snail inside?
illbemyownhell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read the whole thing in Dwight's voice
Nicekicksbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worth the read.
genmischief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuke the snail from orbit, its the only way.
meinleibchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok or.... put a tracker on the snail that goes off if it ever come off if the snail or if it's within 50 miles of you....
endo55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if your friend thinks you're a douche and just throws the snail at you?
WesleyRiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JESUS WEPT
Costco1L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone views living through the heat death of the universe as a positive outcome? I would encase the snail in clear plastic/glass/transparent aluminum and keep him in a known location under surveillance for when I want my immortality to end.
catjake2k16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thus concludes the tale and snail of Elon Musk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonsense, if the snail is super intelligent it will hire a bunch of hitmen with the million dollaes to bring you to his location.
coffeencreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you really thought that one out huh
Mr_Meninist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make a great cartoon movie. I would totally watch
Raichu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You want to be stuck escaping from a snail for all of eternity? I'd just put it in a container it can't get out of but that I could open if I ever decided I wanted to die.
armandster1031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why dont you just put the snail on a treadmill
karnok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao!
eSDLoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it but what if your space ship miscalculates or malfunctions. Then you'll just be cruising through space with no destination in site. Hoping to crash into an asteroid if you're lucky or anything to distract you from the eons you've spent floating aimlessly through space. By then you will have gone mad for sure. Mad for the rest of time. At that point you will have wished you would have kept the snail in the box to release you from the hell you've created for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend could screw you over once he has the box, to get the whole million. Too risky to tell him the story.
wolfdreams01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are making the big assumption that you start within sight of the snail and thus have the upper hand. What if you don't? You also totally forgot that the snail also has a million dollars. While you're messing around with nonsense like vaults and safes, the snail has used his million dollars to hire a very professional hitman to shoot out your kneecaps and bring you to him.
TheClassiestMajinBuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Thank you kind sir
CoffeeFalcon ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 14:41:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scenario stolen straight from Gavin Free of Rooster Teeth and Slow Mo Guys
Trixae ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:03:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Delivered to the masses
JB_Big_Bear ยท 196 points ยท Posted at 14:54:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was stolen from the Roosterteeth Podcast.
jbondyoda ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:31:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when they had this discussion live
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:36:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
deathday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that was probably stolen from It Follows, released earlier in 2014.
EMCoupling ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:52:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little bit different. The whole thing in that movie was that the entity following the current target would also move down the line to the next person on the list that the current victim had sex with.
Plus there was no million dollars and the entity that brought death to the target was not intelligent.
deathday ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:57:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All true. But a slow creeping death that moves in a straight line toward your position reminds me a lot of that movie. Could be two people had a similar thought around the same time... but I'd like to ask these roosterteeth fellows if they've seen that movie.
EMCoupling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the generalized concept of a slow, inevitable death is very new, but it seems that everyone has their own little spin on it.
JB_Big_Bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, It Follows didn't conceptualize things that follow you. This guy has one of the dumbest arguments I've ever heard.
JB_Big_Bear ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, no. It's really not a copy of that. The MDB Reddit thread was an exact ripoff of Roosterteeth. What you're saying was a copy really isn't, it only has one small thing I common. I'm sure somebody at Roosterteeth has seen that movie, but Gavin Free alone came up with the snail thing.
JB_Big_Bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was unaware that the main antagonist in 'It Follows' was a fucking snail.
efbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found the whole concept of they movie laughable. There surely was a better way to deal with the STD (sexually transmitted demon) than whatever they did in the end (did they get together and it just ended up swapping between them?) Surely getting far away and then getting a prostitute would have been the easiest way to deal with it?
I remember watching the movie with some friends at uni and we all agreed it was terrible but then a few months later seeing it made out to be this great thing on Reddit. It was really confusing.
Lady_Cricket ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 14:45:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what makes me sad. Everyone kept coming up with ways to box the snail in or kill it or trap it. It never says the snail HAS to kill you, and if it's super intelligent enough to understand me, then I'd sit down at a safe distance with the snail, talk to it and let it know that while I could be an asshole and box it up, I'd rather spend my money investing in giving it the best snail life possible. I mean, it wouldn't even cost that much. Snail is happy, I'm happy.
Dave_I ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that makes sense. Come to some mutually beneficial compromise. Besides, it's super-intelligent and if we're both immortal. I do not want to curse some super-intelligent being to an eternity of being imprisoned. Beyond that, everybody else we know will die and it will just be us. That seems lonely. Finally, and this has been brought up, if it ever comes time where this existence becomes something you want to shed but cannot (remember, eternity is a long time), maybe that is perhaps an option to keep close at hand.
trovt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:59:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes those were my thoughts exactly...
Are we all just the eternal dream of a hyper-intelligent snail imprisoned in a tungsten sphere on the ocean floor?
Dave_I ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is kind of a haunting thought. Or what if the snail is really a part of us and by imprisoning it and running away, we can never truly be whole? Because in a cosmic sense, we are all united as children of the universe (or multiverse, if you will).
Or what if said hyper-intelligent snail develops psionic powers and ends up being like the Cthulhu haunting us within its dreams until it drives us mad, or develops the ability to bend reality (or space-and-time) creating some nightmare scenario of our own creation?
Regardless, it is interesting that our first instinct is often to conquer the snail (or "snail", if you will) rather than make friends with it. That is rather telling, and probably says something about is that can be generalized to anything that might pose a threat to us, and which might also prove to be a valuable ally or even friend.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:43 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like your idea, and I would want to be kind to the snail, but what happens if he gets tired of life before I do?
We both die if we touch each other, so we're now the Roadrunner and the Coyote for however long it takes until I get fed up and decide to either trap him or accept death.
Dave_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:45 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose there are no certainties in life, even as immortals. So that is a risk you might take. If this is a super-intelligent being, perhaps work out some mutually beneficial plan. If you cannot, or you feel you cannot trust said snail, perhaps work on a Plan B. If you gain evidence the snail is trying to kill you, then that falls into the realm of self-defense.
However, barring that, two things occur to me.
First, do we know that the snail dies if he touches you, or just you die?
Second, it seems a super-intelligent entity and a reasonably intelligent human can perhaps come to some agreement AND ways to make life worth living. It also seems to me that it becomes a moral quandary. Are you willing to screw over another sentient intelligent being for immortality, or are you willing to come to a compromise for the good of you both? Presuming said snail is willing to negotiate. If not, then things may become less civil between you and said snail just due to self-preservation, and you take whatever precautions make sense to you based on how you want to play it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly, the original thought experiment said that both you and the snail would die if either were touched by the other, but both were immortal and immune to everything else.
So the only way out of immortality for either party is to commit murder-suicide with the other.
In addition, I believe it was stated that for whatever reason, the super-intelligent snail hates you so goddamn much he's willing to sacrifice his own immortal life just to kill you, and he refuses to listen to reason. So negotiation is out, according to this rule.
I personally believe that no matter how badly the snail may hate me to begin with, over the course of several centuries I could change his mind.
I think that if you and your worst human enemy today were both made immortal, sooner or later you'd end up reconciling because you'd be the only constant thing in each other's lives and the only other living entity able to understand and relate to each other's life experiences.
But the rules of this thought experiment don't allow that, so...
However, even if negotiation was possible, there may come an impasse where the snail just cannot psychologically stand the stress of being alive any longer and wants nothing more than to die ("Existence is pain to a Meeseeks, Jerry! AND WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO ALLEVIATE THAT PAIN!!!).
However, you're having a blast and want to keep the party going for another 500 years. So what happens then? You're gonna end up trapping the snail for that time, then finally setting it free and touching it when you're ready to go.
You're screwing it over, yes, but from the perspective of an immortal, it's only temporary. Eventually you'll seek it out, both of you will die, and then nothing will matter to either of you anymore.
Sorry for the wall of text. I really enjoyed your reply and wanted to leave a thoughtful response.
Dave_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:59 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, well that changes things a bit. In that case, I would probably give myself some leeway. After all, this IS self-defense/preservation. I would adopt a similar mindset to you, because I think we could either reconcile or come up with SOME alternative. I would also at least want to know WHY the snail had it out for me and WHAT our options were short of mutually assured destruction. Maybe it's like a Mr. Meeseeks and this IS some painful existence. Or maybe it's just an irrational super-smart snail. It becomes a bit of a morality issue, and I may be fine containing it somehow for self-defense only to leave freedom from this existence an option. However, without some context I have no reason to hate or harvest ill will for said snail.
If existence IS pain for said snail, I would probably selfishly live for at least a while because, just biologically, I am programmed to survive and protect my family. However, I would have to meditate on that over time too. Am I screwing the snail? Perhaps. However this is not something I did as far as I know, so do I consider it suicide, and are there any religious/morality considerations? Ditto with causing never ending pain and and anguish to one of God's creations that is intelligent enough to know it is at your mercy? While those dilemmas play out in the back of my mind, and I realize I'm agnostic and do not have any answers, I will probably do my best to make a positive contribution in the world, fulfill my obligations, and do what I can to support the changes I want to make in the world, and touch the snail once that's done and I've fulfilled my purpose. If we presume this is not a Mr. Meeseeks scenario, I trap the thing, keep it as comfortable but as far-the-fuck away from me as possible, maybe get some containment suit to sleep in and certain guidelines (it's super-intelligent, but it is still just a snail) and live my life as best I can, as safe as I can, without tormenting this super-intelligent snail that seemingly irrationally hates me. I would probably also ask the scientific community (if I could find anybody who would listen to me and was at all reputable) for some solution.
No problem. I thought your response was thoughtful as well and kind of fun to read & ponder. So thanks!
rachawakka ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:37:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real victim is the snail. Nothing can kill the snail.
Javlington ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, snail drew the short end of the stick.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:10:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nico_is_not_a_god ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:03:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just skip the trench nonsense and keep your giant block of metal with you in a large room under surveillance. If, through billions of years, the thing manages to erode its way through a foot of tungsten and seven of iron, you'll see it get out and it "always moves towards you" so stand in an open field with cameras in every direction and a friend on call, then start the tungsten ball song and dance all over again.
The Earth eventually dying is irrelevant if you assume you can travel somewhere else, and just take the snail with you.
dumbrich23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:03:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until you realize the camera feed was on a loop and the snail escaped 10 years ago
Javlington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely, if you find out about the deal, you know what's up? You can't kill the snail so eventually he's going to kill you. Thanks for the Dark Forest link!
NotYourAverageTomBoy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right! I would find happiness in creating happiness for the snail.
maxiimus1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if the snail needs to walk toward you, maybe it's out of his control and he won't be free until it kills you.
idriveacar ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:55:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing I thought. The person who created that overly elaborate answer automatically assumes the snail is evil because it has the potential to kill him and he's most worried about death because he has a potentially unlimited amount of life. This snail is the only thing that can take everything away from him, so automatically it's a threat.
That's the mentality that gives political rhetoric power.
Redequlus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:07:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The setup says that it always crawls toward you. How could you change that? The snail doesn't have to be evil but it's only purpose is to touch you.
idriveacar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't say its only purpose is to touch you, just that it crawls towards you. This is one of my "no fun at parties" thing, but just because it's crawling towards you don't mean it has the intention to kill you.
What if it wants to attempt to communicate?
What if you're standing near an exit inside of a building?
Edit:
I think it's the phrasing. If it said "... comes for you." That would give me a ominous connotation to know its intentions.
SayRonPlease ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:50:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if it always crawls towards you it would eventually reach you, and you'd die from its touch regardless of whether it just wants to communicate or not.
idriveacar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, so the inference is that you and the snail aren't in the same place to begin with. You're in Georgia, and it's in Russia for example. Somehow you're notified of the snails power and that it's crawling towards you.
Am I covefefe?
ajjminezagain ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:21:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Georgia and Russia are very close to each other, depending on where in russia and Georgia you could be only miles away
dumbrich23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:03:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? They're on opposite ends of the world
ajjminezagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgia_(country)
Devonance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, a line can go "towards" the x axis on a graph, getting infinitely closer to it, but never touching...
SayRonPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That assumes, of course, that a snail is physically able to move infinitesmall distances which is something I highly doubt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
idriveacar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
updooted and thanks
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Redequlus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got me
soaringtyler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
It's a superintelligent snail!!!
He could fucking teach you a thing or two.
I'll build up a really really strong friendship with him.
You let the fraternal love build up between you two and you'll have the most powerful ally in this universe.
hogger85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It all depends how you read the line "it always knows where you are and slowly crawls towards you."
Is that he starts slowly crawling towards you and begin the challenge, or is it "it always crawls towards you."in the latter it would be inexplicably drawn to you at all times, and could not be reasoned out of it.
croissantichrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if he's not willing to listen have someone snatch him up and bury him in concrete mix. Once that sets grab your boat (that you rented bc you're saving that mil) drive out to the middle of the ocean and drop him in. That should buy you about a century, century and a half.
Nuclearpolitics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:26 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have trust issues when it comes to invertebrates.
dk1701 ยท 187 points ยท Posted at 10:26:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carefully seal that fucker in a jar, put the jar in a safe, and drop that shit in the middle of the Atlantic.
_PM_ME_GFUR_ ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 11:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a decoy snail in the jar.
Ozark_Patriot ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:17:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gather every snail on earth, put them all in a giant jar, douse them in gasoline, and light it. The one that survives is the real snail. Put that one in a little jar, in a safe, and drop it in the ocean.
dumbrich23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:00:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While trapped there, the evil snail discovers an undiscovered new breed of other snails. He tells them of your evil, that you massacred brothers of their brothers . They spend centuries getting back up above the sea and kill you
Ozark_Patriot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does he communicate with them from inside the jar in the safe?
dk1701 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol knowing my luck, absolutely.
Gotta ask. Wtf is a gfur?
Hybrixe ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:02:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want to know. However if you do, it's just a subreddit
DuelingPushkin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:57:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The opposite of GNEAR
_PM_ME_GFUR_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:02:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay furry porn ;)
dk1701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Well. I guess everyone has their fetishes, yeah?
CD23tol ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:38:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The snail is immortal so the easiest test is just giving your friend a dollar to step on the snail, if it dies = decoy if not its the real snail, then you lock that bitch up and toss it in the ocean
Malkalen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:11:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turn the snail into a flea...a harmless little flea. Then put that flea in a box and put that box inside another box and then mail that box to yourself. And when it arrives MUAHAHA I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!!
satyr_of_frost ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:52:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not good. After 3000 years you'll be nervous about you don't control the snail. Better keep it in sight.
dk1701 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:23:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 3000 years, I might be ready for that long rest.
Tricky_Troll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why? Do you really think that living forever isn't a curse? You'll see everyone you ever care about die, everything you enjoy will wear off and you'll lose interest in it. There is no way that you would be able to enjoy life for much longer than the first hundred, maybe 200 years at best. Even if your physical state never deteriorated, there is no way that you wouldn't get bored or tired of life. Death is scary, but immortality is even scarier if you ask me.
dk1701 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:23:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't want to live forever. Eventually I'd be ready to move on. But think of all the wondrous things you could see if you just lived for a few hundred years.
And when I was ready, I'd fish the little shit out of the ocean and pat him on the head.
Rockymountains1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's literally going to get free bc of either stupid people opening it or water pressure opening it
philmtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much what he did for 500k
rabidsquirre1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You keep the safe nearby so you know where it is at all times
AbitOffCenter ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 14:41:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this from Million Dollars But... ? The Roosterteeth bit that they do?
Yeah it is
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 15:54:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was on an episode of theirs, but this question is really old to begin with.
Edit: Old as in it existed before Million Dollars But... and any Reddit post mentioning it.
Krish-10 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:26:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the ask reddit question was from at the most a year ago, and the episode was from a little less than three years ago
Lemon1412 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he is saying the question existed outside of Reddit and Rooster Teeth before the Rooster Teeth Video.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo. But apparently people don't realize that.
red_sky33 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 14:56:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question originally posed by Gavin Free of roosterteeth and SlowMoGuys
MagicallyAdept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So glad to see other RT and MDB fans here.
theycallmewidowmaker ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 12:32:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DECOY SNAIL
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sha-sha-sha!
_forgotmyusername ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd befriend the snail and then we'd travel the universe together. I'd wear a hazmat suit at all times so that he doesn't accidentally touch me. Or he could live in a hamster ball.
sleeper_stimulants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail.
SenileJunta ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:01:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't this a Rooster Teeth Podcast question? Or did they bring it up because one of the RT Podcast crew see it on Reddit? I cannot remember.
Leonard_Church814 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The greatest Million Dollars But... question.
ffsavi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:05:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No matter how smart it is, it's physically just a snail. Get some molten iron and trap it inside it.
akaBrotherNature ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a decoy snail.
ffsavi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:39:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try to kill it first. If it dies it's a decoy. If it doesn't, then you proceed
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:06:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man the answer is so simple. You trap the fucking snail in a cage and keep it with you at all times to keep an eye on it. You know what just send the fuck into space. done
Decoy_Snail ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:29:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're the super intelligent snail pretending to the be the decoy snail just to gain our trust.
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a Gavin "wot if" moment
-_----_-- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:10:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I touch the snail.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i lik the snail
PopossWasTaken ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:36:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gavin Free
SilentNinjaGamer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:46:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats from rooster teeth
madmanmoo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:03:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sounds like the plot of "it follows" ---- that's a really good horror movie!
j-r-m-b-v-n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that movie creeped me out
Butterballl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:33:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That question was copied from a rooster teeth podcast.
DG729 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:37:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pay a search team $1M to find the snail and hand it to me.
Griswolda ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:49:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since I only die if it touches me, I will just let someone pierce that shit through with a nail or something. Latch it onto a wooden plate and carry it around over my shirt/jacket all the time. Easy and very nice looking at.
dumbrich23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it left some slime on your shirt and you touch it, you die?
Griswolda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since this is not stated in the "riddle" itself, I say no, you won't. Dry slime doesn't kill you. And surely it wont be enough to drip through.
Javlington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hyperintelligent tho.
sleeper_stimulants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail.
organictimemachine2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:43:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're not immortal but the snail is?
RealBlazeStorm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:08:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of Rooster Teeth animated adventures. They talked about this exact dilemma
LogicalComa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:09:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the movie "It Follows."
uniqueusernanne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the snail get a million dollars too?
BlueROFL1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we get a link my dude?
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Decoy snail?
Potat_OS1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
decoy snail.
cucaslampbell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touch the snail immediately
pitchwhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks
amantaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gavin!
CaughtInDireWood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is saying things on trapping the snail and keeping it in an enclosed space.
But, if it's intelligent, and the question didn't say the snail wants to kill you, just that you can't touch it without dying. So, why can't you tell the snail that? Say, "hey, man. We can hang out, be friends, occupy the same space, I'll make sure you have a good home and plenty to eat. you just can't touch me. IF you try, THEN I will have to take extreme measures to remove you from my home. Otherwise, you're free to live happily here with me."
I mean, wouldn't that be the easiest? I'm no threat to the snail, so he has no reason to want to kill me unless I purposely do something to harm him.
nonfactr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always wear those high platform shoes from the 70's
Roukaysa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walk in circles
croissantichrist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved this question...
BUT I think the other end of it, the snail's dilemma if you will, after it becomes super intelligent:
"Should I enjoy living forever, spending my money on snail necessities and the most popular of snail desires, getting the infinite amount of snail 'tang without worry of those super deadly snail STDs that we all learned about in school? Or should I be worried about fulfilling my purpose and killing Reddit user #8745696?"
So you see if one can posit the dilemma of man, shouldn't one be able to discuss the dilemma of the snail?
After all, it is 2017 so if it is super-intelligent can't we therefore assume that the snail is "woke"? I am sure there will be a lot of snail prejudice that says "if he/she/it is only super intelligent FOR A SNAIL then it is still gonna be murderous...". Pssh. So snails aren't equal to humans. Ok. Ok. #snailequality
Amasero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty easy, go to the nearest pet store, buy a tank.
Pay one of the workers good enough money ( you are immortal, and have 1 million don't be greedy) to follow you, and put the snail in the tank for you. Tape the top on.
Drive to the dude back to work, go to the nearest place that you can buy a safe.
Buy a big ass safe, put that mother fucker in the safe(with the tank). Lock it, throw away the key.
You can put the safe in storage(not a storage place tho, because if you forget to pay. We have Storage wars for a reason. And you don't want them finding your snail, then freeing him.)
Enjoy your immortality, and almost a million dollars.
wardrich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just get a buddy to put the snail in a lead box, then I'd weld the box shut and put it into a Titanium box and weld that shut. Then I'd drop the box into the deepest spot in the ocean.
CHECKMATE snail.
xordanemoce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put it in a hamster ball.
SnicklefritzSkad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite similar one was the 3 million dollars, 30 clowns and a 2 liter bottle of orange soda
HereComesTheWolfman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put a lid on it.next
saabstory88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For that money, put it in a cubesat, and put it on a rideshare flight for an Earth escape trajectory. Those Centaur rideshare slots are pretty cheap.
F4t45h35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I thought this was such a cool prompt I'm glad others remembered it!
darcy_clay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely you just capture it with tongs and then feed it in a tank? Bango! Can I have my million dollars now?
Shittyberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id have someone put it in a closed container and throw it in the ocean..
hydro0033 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is like the movie it follows
DvesWeasel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like the plot to LIFE
lilhughster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather see answers for the reverse. What would you do if you are the snail?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go somewhere a snail can't. Pretty simple
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds very similar to the movie It Follows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buy an aquarium. Problem solved.
or_din_ar_y_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why does the snail wanna kill you!?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd spend the million bucks on a SpaceX flight and put that crafty snail on it and watch it blow up on launch.
unbannabledan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To watch the movie It Follows and call it a day.
Mc_Sqweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put it in a box and seal it. Next....
gannon2145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I have sex with someone, will the snail follow them instead?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For $1M Id launch that piece of shit into space.
Blzbba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poor snail! Super intelligent yet it's wasted on an eternity of trying to catch you.
D15T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy, lure it into a box and lock it, force it to be your best friend but steal its money
kemando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Invest the million. Interest probably builds well over an eternity.
Use gloves, put immortal ๐ in container, fill container with concrete. Small is now sealed inside a block of concrete. Put block of concrete in container, fill container with strong molten metal. Concrete is now sealed in hard steel or something.
Go to the middle of the marianas trench, drop concrete sealed, metal sealed immortal snail to the bottom. Good luck ever getting out of that. Collect on investment after 500 years, reinvest half.
Profit.
fLeXaN_tExAn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there's a save section. Only took a few years.
AgentBranfIakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing this on the Rooster Teeth podcast I think and it's been a solid conversation starter for a while the best answer I got was "Put the snail on a rocket ship and send it to the moon"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This snail reminds me of that youtube video which shows a snail Pokemon which is like a fire type I think and it could kill you. It's kinda similar to the question.
EDIT: Fire, Rock type.
Potat_OS1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, melvin- i mean magcargo's numbers for how hot it is are of the charts.
skiboy625 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd surround myself with salt
GrizzlySap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trail of salt around my home ?
tunersharkbitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
live on a yacht... snails dont float.
also, why cant you hire someone to catch the snail and imprison it in a titanium box. no holes, no seams, NOTHING. and if you really wanted to salt the wound(or the snail) you could keep it as a trophy somewhere nearby...
ImHardMadeOfAmerican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd probably just build a fortress made of salt. Salt works on snails too right, not just slugs?
The_WA_Remembers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the easiest thing to do would be to just wall it in and enjoy your money... is it strong? It can't break walls or anything?
In fact, pay a friend to put it in a tank or something and keep it in a safe.
MachuSeason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is the asshole that ripped off rooster teeth?
HumansWillComeForYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for this? I need to plan
bologna_kazoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since the snail is super intelligent, maybe he communicates with me and I team up with him. I become his human body to get shit done. Like MasterBlaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. He'll be the little person and I'll be his giant, sweet, but dangerous, mentally challenged vehicle. He can ride in a little head chariot or body cam deal. I do human shit for him since no-one respects snails, and I have him be in charge to help me invest my money so that we can become super powerful, until eventually we get to ask Tina Turner "Who run Barter Town?"
tyled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I originally had something like this in mind when I was like 5. I always imagined there was a spider in my bed and every night it inched forward a couple of cm or so. Eventually it would make it to my face and crawl into my mouth, ew. So every so often I would sleep facing the opposite direction on the bed so it would have to walk back and forth forever.
HookDragger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smash it with a hammer and take his money.
Hey, it didn't touch me.
lost_and_looking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would try to be friends with the snail. I dont want to live forever, so I would keep him around until I've had enough of life. and think about it, this snail is one of a kind, literally. He will never know the companionship of another snail because of his immortality and intelligence. The only other immortal being would be me. How can I condemn him to solitude? No, we would be friends. We could accomplish a lot.
I am by no means as intelligent as the snail, but I can be his hands and legs. We can travel the world together, do awesome things that he can think of (expanding our fortunes, eradicating world hunger/disease, establish world peace, to name a few). We could make the world a better place. And once we grow tired of the world, I will ask him to crawl onto my hand. A part of me thinks that it is cruel to leave him after all he had done for me, but I think by then maybe we would have found a way to end his solitude, one way or another. And besides, I wouldn't want my life to end any other way, to have touch my closest friend through the millennia for the first and last time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Gavin
Dobbsy95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So put it in a glass box the the ground and seal it up with concrete, have fun getting out of that. No smarts is getting you out of there. Top comment is way over complicating things, though pretty funny.
Str8Faced000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get a jar. Put snail in jar. Put jar in suitcase. Put suitcase in locked safe. Bury safe.
Kobmoney43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just keep in encased in Crystal, invest the million, sit on it until you are filthy filthy rich, then send that motherfucker into space
redredme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Answer: let it get close, then salt it's ass. Case closed, dishes are done, man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever posted it on askreddit stole the question from Gavin Free on the rooster teeth podcast from about 2012. It's an RT animated adventure now.
OrangeOakie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grab a box, go to a white room, wait for the fucker. Put the box over him, ask someone to kill it.
Alternatively, use the Winchester Method
Sharp02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly hate that it was stolen from an old RT video
SonofNyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rooster Teeth
vicabart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just post this comment without posting the link, dipshit.
awesamboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prompt is a little different, but it originally came from Gavin Free. His crazy scenarios are what created the game called "Million Dollars, But...". I believe in his scenario you get 10 milion dollars, but there's always an invincible snail following you everywhere. Only the snail is invincible. Once the snail touches you, you die.
masasin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: Would the snail even want to kill you?
numismatic_nightmare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super intelligent compared to other snails or compared to all intelligent life? I mean if it's just compared to other snails it can't be that smart...
Ngoscope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A million dollars, but...
Ariconnie48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd stand still and let that son of a bitch touch me
Radamenenthil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lock it up and bury it, it would be like an horcrux
blosweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Train snail sniffing dogs to murder any and all snails near me
philemon99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realised noone talks about what the snail will do with the 1 million. This is a super intelligent snail.
chubbyurma ยท 2145 points ยท Posted at 13:42:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/rpSLCDn.gifv
NSFW i suppose
[deleted] ยท 541 points ยท Posted at 16:25:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:50:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The actual fuck
PeanutsPie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:11:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck
theRailisGone ยท 247 points ยท Posted at 16:44:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody took the David Blaine spoof to the fun place.
MeowntainMan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ( อกยฐ อส( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)ส อกยฐ) อกยฐ)
hedgeborncerebellum ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one creepy-ass spider.
onacho ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:20:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
creepy ass-spider
TerrainIII ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:01:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a wild herd of Lennies.
Bloated_Butthole ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 17:51:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE EFF DAVID BLAINE?
candyman337 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 16:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called mindjack if you want to watch the whole thing, it's a three part series
a_shitty_novelty ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this guy looks like nathan for you
TilikumHungry ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:29:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Brent Weinbach, similar deadpan style and one of the funniest dudes on the planet right now
stoneknight2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeh I got that vibe too
AnakinKardashian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit i thought it was him
imjustbettr ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:50:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I've been redditting at work almost everyday this past year and I've never "laughed out loud" until this post. I had to exit everything real quick because people started heading towards my work station to see what i was laughing at. I'm horrible.
cptstupendous ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:32:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/F0R_PU69ms8
Rex_Laso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
grats
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:42:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chubbyurma ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:57:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My workmates appreciated it
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:20:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck
zamardii12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay that was fucking hilarious.
K340 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at that really hard but it was because I didn't know what else to do. The laughter was devoid of joy.
QuiveryNut ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ I had to spit out my toast
Rex_Laso ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was there jizz on it too??
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is grim.
extremely_handsome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slurpee good
wardrich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE CHEEZ-ITS!?
JennIsFit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:36:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ew. Hahaha!
Rich_Pickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking nasty but hella funny
longhorn2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was weird enough when it was gone but then it appeared in his mouth like what the fuck
KenDefender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, a clear homage to the mythic battle between Horace and Set. In a struggle for the throne of the gods, each attempted to feed the other their semen in secret. Horace was wise and managed to avoid eating it, while Set did not. While Horace appealed to the Gods Set could do nothing. While Set made his appeal to the other gods, Horace called forth his semen, disrupting Set's speech, and proving his dominion over him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Stitches from Keanu?
Terrapinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This ruined my day.
Edythir ยท 12779 points ยท Posted at 11:54:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/5bpa
Chivalry13 ยท 1040 points ยท Posted at 13:19:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aahhhhh, anime expos...
AceO235 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:22:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SECTOR IS NOT CLEAR!!
Chivalry13 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:27:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
Asphyxiatinglaughter ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:19:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/prequelmemes
YukarinVal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:39:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello there!
Asphyxiatinglaughter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
General Kenobi...
Madh2orat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anime exbros* ftfy
Licensed2Chill ยท 827 points ยท Posted at 13:26:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real bro right there
tabarra ยท 1693 points ยท Posted at 13:06:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Adog311 ยท 491 points ยท Posted at 13:48:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed eleven arms.
\\\\\\
Erzha ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's only 6
Adnan_Targaryen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 3" ;~;
Orionator ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:59:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
matthewdotjpg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the 3 slashes?
Th3Moos3 ยท 473 points ยท Posted at 13:20:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/anime_irl
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:48:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GloriousToast ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:50:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't stop people from posting fan comics and doujinshi.
SwordSlash8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:57:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KeybladeSpirit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They do say that. Here is my favorite response.
UhOhFeministOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, it's been awhile since my days of anime fandom. But when I was a kid it was pretty much agreed it was the art style that defined it. Oh how times have changed.
GloriousToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the top 7 top posts of /r/anime_irl, one is from fire emblem, one is a fan comic of anime characters and one is from hentai.
So as long as you don't put the rl in irl too much, to the point of putting rl pics) you're good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GloriousToast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither, carry on.
Shandlar ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 14:56:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dispair (NSFW)
ChuckleKnuckles ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit is really a testament to the powers of makeup. Women, what is your true form?
CrowSpine ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 16:36:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can still tell when it's a guy usually by the shoulder/face shape. Sometimes you can't but a good 80% of the time you can.
Insanefoo ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:24:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
League of Legends streamer BoxBox has confused many a viewer when cosplaying
minngeilo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:57:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The asian in me saw a guy immediately.
HateKnuckle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:12:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Arcade Riven one is REALLY confusing. I keep having to tell myself that it's a dude who is also straight and who also has a gf.
CrowSpine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The jawline though.
Bobshayd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:37:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rin Senpai is amazing.
Tolkien5045 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:19:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traps are gay. And I'm okay with that
loiloiloi6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Despair
xanatos451 ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 14:27:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/1sMVk9E.gifv
ObviouslyNotAMoose ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:25:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this is a trap I can get behind.
I'll see myself out.
xanatos451 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:31:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on if Bailey's a catcher.
ObviouslyNotAMoose ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:59:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with whatever. There's a first time for everything!
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 15:24:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2scared ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 15:45:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that to be Bailey Jay.
Xhiel_WRA ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:05:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Bailey Jay.
Search the name on any porn site, and have fun.
She also has her own porn site if paying for your fun is your gig.
YoungAdult_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:01:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's really good at taking her stuff down from other sites, the only videos on streaming sites are the stuff she did before starting up her own website, which aren't that great tbh.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
surely its out there somewhere though, with the ole its on the internet is on forever
galleria_suit ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:37:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha totally like what's it from so I can avoid it? Haha
Chinse ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 15:24:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why do you want to know, you freak
xanatos451 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:25:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's asking "for a friend."
ChuckleKnuckles ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:51:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you're allowed to call people freaks for liking that stuff anymore.
YoungAdult_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:02:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just for liking that stuff, but for just being trans in general.
Fluffinator-SSB ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:30:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is that tafo?
nfreakoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ
slopeclimber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wew lad
Learningtolandlord ยท 2744 points ยท Posted at 13:26:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole video was kinda off and thats what made it funny but at "you're welcome bro" I lost it
juiciest87 ยท 1055 points ยท Posted at 13:50:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
spoiler
strppngynglad ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:06:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it before it still didn't register
Count_Cuckenstein ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:37:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh, not really
skidd_ ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:18:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Top 10 Anime Betrayals
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 14:10:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it took you longer to describe than it does to just watch the thing.
linkseyi ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 14:15:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep I also watched it.
dawkholiday ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:23:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...thats the joke.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:54:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theyruinedthejoke
HateCopyPastComments ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:55:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i liekd da bit whan he sed ur welcom bro i died
Alxndr_Hamilton ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:57:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username does not check out
skoold1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks to your comment I went to the end of video. Stopped it like two seconds before the end and was like "wtf was this"
B-Knight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:51:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I liked the part where the girl was actually a dude dressed up in a girly costume to trick people. Ah classic...
FreyWill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:22:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost what?
W0lfy1992 ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 13:09:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaaaaaaaaat?!
relevant__comment ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:07:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually quite common practice. You'd be amazed.
Baxterftw ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:38:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a Tarp
flutterguy123 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:49:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crossdressing at anime conventions is super common.
bombikid ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:02:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks towards the camera
Hmmm, something's off
You're welcome bro
AAAGHHAHAHAWHATHEFUCK
olallieberrie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG i know this guy! He's super nice and VERY shy when not in cosplay. All of his cosplays are super spot on too.
ladedafuckit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he always cosplay as girls?
olallieberrie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No not always. He and his girlfriend do couples cosplays together too.
ladedafuckit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds adorable.
squanchy_91 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 13:26:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg amazing that deep man voice at the end I had no idea... good one
DuvelNA ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:32:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my dick is confused
aggrogahu ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:51:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ran into that cosplayer that year at AX; instantly changed my mood for the better.
Dhexodus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:59:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't take away from the appearance. Might be a bonus for some.
OgreSpider ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is for me. (^.^)
moneymet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:08:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here: (^.^)
Writen like this:
OgreSpider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I'll fix it!
Ohh-i-member ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:32:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"you're welcome bro"
FriendlyRobots ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:56:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is going on here
E: never mind, I had the sound off
Wrunnabe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:02:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing! That was a rollercoaster of emotions!
beerbeardsbears ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:04:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpected
stanfan114 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:27:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, nobody's perfect.
BearButtBomb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My new favorite thing.
Frostblazer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can't help that he's such a beautiful man!
infinitezero8 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:36:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Picking up my AX badge in 2 days time. Let the madness begin.
If you are in or close to the Los Angeles area, Anime expo starts this week and ends Tuesday next week.
I used to go years ago when it was a smaller type convention, you could walk around without touching shoulders, security was relaxed, people were personable, gaming was tight and more fun because it wasn't so competitive. Now? Can't walk and see anything without standing on tip toes (6'2 guy btw), the art aisle.. my god.. I can barely see anything anymore there are so many people. The exhibition hall has way to many people but there are more booths.
I miss AX from 2010.
ayurjake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After always hearing from people about "the old" AX I'm sad that I never got to experience it, but it's still an absolute blast every year!
This will be my first year attending without cosplaying; hopefully some of the magic will still be there.
Edythir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh i am nowhere close, not even the same continent sadly.
flutterguy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have only been the last two years and ill be there this year (i'm a vendor). I kind of wish i could have seen the old AX.
Current one is still amazing though.
TenNecklaces ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for the kendama in the background
austraeoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
represent!
voutinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:58:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Golden
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kuroneko from Oriemo
Pancakewagon26 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes you realize how similar men's and women's faces really are.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of depends!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:56 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could totally tell it was a guy. I was confused as to what was so funny
SunDirty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS ALWAYS GETS ME
Red_Samba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
emotional rollercoaster man
topaz_b ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At work with the other designer asking me why I snorted lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jebaited!
Nick_Germ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
ExFiler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This... This is what it is all about...
jaamfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anime Expo this week, hype
remedios624 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traps aren't gay
Edythir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dick only makes it better
Blitzedlegend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's a feminine penis
GruntingTurnip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:22 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My life is a lie.
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd run with it
puresick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that laughing at the end xD
Bobbypaul419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG that was funny as hell
FuriousDee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a bad bitch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:33 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who immediately realized it was a guy?
7th_Nexus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:27 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still laugh at this every time it pops up
Ethan819 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:59 on September 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/anime_irl
Edythir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:07 on September 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolling through 2 month old posts are we?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:06 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking brilliant
somanlythatgirlsdie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trangender asians don't even have to do hormone treatment to look feminine.
Papa_John42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:43:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thailand in a nutshell.
Brunky89890 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now it's in my saved section.
jerryhou85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Unexpected
adroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yo i just lost it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God this is hilarious
10000ofhisbabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah!!! Made my day.
Off_tune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf did he ask her?
pratyush997 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:35:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLYFAQINSHIT
caanthedalek ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
moneymet ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:33:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ โฟเฒ
inferno1170 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:20:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watched it first without sound. The second time through was way more horrifying.
gisquestions ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
MRCNSRRVLTNG ยท -65 points ยท Posted at 13:51:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are people here pretending or do they really not see it's a guy from the beginning? Also, it's very clearly staged on top of that.
akanyan ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:07:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No shit it's staged it doesn't decrease from the joke. Also if you don't even have it in your head that you're looking for someone crossdressing it's really hard to notice.
MRCNSRRVLTNG ยท -65 points ยท Posted at 14:18:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's subjective. I don't see the fun in it whatsoever :)
Ktk_reddit ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they don't have enough experience in the matter. :<
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:36:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MRCNSRRVLTNG ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 14:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes, so i dont see the fun part
baldurs_mate ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lololol
Foxxocubes ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:18:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA! reminds me of the one with the big Snorlax casually walking through.
*Insert link below
PYCisCPA ยท 12969 points ยท Posted at 09:12:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/258w8s/z/chex9eq
This is a story worth telling. Save it.
Yoinkie2013 ยท 692 points ยท Posted at 16:05:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every so often, I'll wake up with a few dozen notifications and have that, "what did I post before sleeping?!" Moment. Always nice to see that it's the Ulysses bucket list spreading!
UmbreHonest ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very cool story! Are you still in contact with the girl?
Yoinkie2013 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a podcast with Reddit about it, it's on the "upvoted" sub. It tells you everything you need to know about it, I would link you but I'm on mobile. I'm sure someone will help out and link it!
throwawoofwoof ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:57:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got you:
https://soundcloud.com/upvoted/018-the-longest-way-round-is-the-shortest-way-home
atthem77 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 21:34:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Yoinkie2013 part of the podcast is only a little over 18 minutes, or just under 15 if you don't count the opening few minutes before his segment really begins.
Some nice timestamps to help you find what you want. In bold are the parts most people are here for.
3:14 Podcast starts (after the fluff intro and sponsor). Yoinkie2013 talks about his childhood.
5:04 Yoinkie2013 begins the story of running away. He talks about meeting Amanda, what they talked about, and what he thought about it.
9:47 Parting with Amanda and the challenge she gave him.
11:10 The life lesson he learned from the challenge.
12:43 Alexis talks about the famous reddit post.
13:06 Yoinkie talks about the post, TheGuyWhoAte's reply, and being skeptical.
14:27 Yoinkie talks about getting an email from Amanda and corresponding with her.
16:19 What's been going on with Amanda since they met on the train in 2000.
17:22 Yoinike challenges Alexis, and all the listeners.
18:03 That segment of the podcast ends.
Caleus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:14:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the podcast you mentioned that Amanda was going through a rough patch of sorts. Have you stayed in contact with her since then, and can you shed any light on how she is doing now?
Its sad to hear that someone who made such a big difference in your life was, as you said "dealt a bad hand." I truly hope things have or will improve for her.
PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you get asked to be on the podcast? can any redditor go on or?
Yoinkie2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit reached out to me and asked me if I wanted to be on it and I said yes
Christofferoff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:00:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you still in contact?
PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's pretty cool
IssacTheNecromorph ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:49:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean a simple yes or no would have sufficed.
Twitchedout ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:14:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, not that it is any of my business, but I just read your story and the comment about how this person could he the girl you're thinking of, and I was wondering if it really was her! That would be amazing if it really is.
its_always_right ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:19:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It actually was the same girl
https://www.reddit.com/r/Ulyssesbucketlist/comments/25yst9/ulysses_bucket_list_amanda_update
bryM2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they get to meet IRL after reuniting online?
thatcrit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure but I think not, at least they didn't 3 years ago because they live far apart. However I really think the should meet, if they haven't yet.
Aionar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:49:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the movies, sure. But real life can be so strange. I know I'm not the same person I was in high school.
bryM2k ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna make a film out of this that juxtaposes OP's beautiful writing and reality that Sarah just went on living life until "wtf is this post about me" moment
You're so right and I feel bad for both parties involved, because the masses want and expect a cinematic ending to a love story that really only exists inside the mind of the audience.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bryM2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read plenty of comments that suggested otherwise, but all the same you're right, readers want the tied up ending in a world of loose ends.
Twitchedout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing!! That is some real movie esq shit right there.
Login_signout ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:03:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eveyones asking you about Amanda, but did you ever finish the book?
Fordlandia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:04:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is actually pretty amazing. With your permission, I'm going to adopt this habit :)
Yoinkie2013 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you can. That's the entire point of the bucket list!
Teilchen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did you meet Amanda in the past three years?
Kayyam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, was it Amanda or not ?
ThatOneLegion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Ulyssesbucketlist/comments/25yst9/ulysses_bucket_list_amanda_update
Terra_omega_3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a question. I remember there being a user who said they knew Amanda. Did you ever end up meeting her or was it not the same Amanda?
jReX- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here, in case you haven't found it yet.
GandalfTheUltraViole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did that Amanda chick turn out to be your Amanda?
Kytsuine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mentioned a Venezuelan film student was working on a movie. Do you know if s/he ever got anywhere with that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:49 on September 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever find Amanda?
MkPapadopoulos ยท 692 points ยท Posted at 12:08:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reads like a John Green book
ShlomoKenyatta ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:37:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/thesoundandthefury, what do you think?
Necro_infernus ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:31:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was really thinking of Paper Towns on this one. Seems like a very Margo thing to do.
Dtruth333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For those who may have been confused, Ulysses absolutely does not read like a John Green book
gaveedraseven ยท -31 points ยท Posted at 14:18:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you disparage that post by comparing it to John Green!
zw1ck ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:01:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lot of John green fans on Reddit. This totally does sound like a plot from a John green book though, just with better dialog and more likeable characters.
captionquirk ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 15:53:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't that bad, dude.
the_doggo_27 ยท 3434 points ยท Posted at 11:41:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that was wholesome as fuck
ender89 ยท 1362 points ยท Posted at 12:58:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Also, I could totally see that getting made into a movie, that is crazy that he found her again.
cornm ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 13:27:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if they were to make a movie, you just spoiled the ending!!
PinguThePanzer ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:09:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so did he find her/was that her?
Nai_Sora ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:24:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep it was her
PinguThePanzer ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:35:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yay!!!!
QuinceDaPence ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:43:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe this calls for a:
WE DID IT REDDIT!!!
Nai_Sora ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was an amazing moment and that was 3 years ago
PinguThePanzer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:46:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOLD FOR EVERYONE!
DetectorReddit ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:11:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
link up that part. I fucking scrolled forever and never found closure
zmizzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:01 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you link the comment where it says that? I can't find it and really want to see.
whitby_ufo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:43:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But in the movie he won't find her on reddit through a friend. He'll be sitting in a cafe and as he turns the back cover after finally completing Ulysses, a woman starts singing acapella and the entire cafe is moved to tears, except him. Then as he approaches her afterwards, he sees another man embrace and kiss her. She doesn't embrace or kiss him with same the enthusiasm, but she still smiles with a look of deep satisfaction.
/u/Yoinkie2013 stops in his tracks, not knowing what to do next. Amanda looks up and notices him stopped and looking at her. She doesn't recognize him, but she smiles and he returns a smile through his obvious sadness. He turns away and walks towards the door as tears begin to break from his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Amanda, still looking at Yoinkie, sees Ulysses in his hand as he walks away. As he reaches the door, he tosses the book into the trash and continues outside.
Amanda breaks free from the man and runs to the trash. She grabs the book and takes it back to the man she was embracing. She doesn't know quite what to say, but she says "Read it, and you'll understand. I'm sorry."
Then she runs outside and tells for Yoinkie, "STOP. Stop walking awaaay!"
arudnoh ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:26:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No way! There are far too many movies with unnecessary and unrealistic romance piled on. Having a guy be upset over a girl he hadn't seen since he was 15 is totally unrealistic, unless we're talking a slight pang. Abandoning this awesome tradition (or whatever you'd call it) by symbolically trashing a book would pretty much negate the whole vibe of bettering yourself through your interactions with others.
alexnedea ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe instead of him being sad and throwing the book as that makes no sense, she sees him leaving the book on the table as he leaves. She realises maybe there is a slight chance. Happy they met but neither willing to break the ice, they both continue with their lives, knowing that they kept their promises to eachother.
whitby_ufo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this ending better than mine. Maybe it's one of those cafes where they have some books you can borrow, and he puts his book on that shelf like he's passing the tradition on to someone else.
Death_Star_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:27:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how many people actually would want to watch an adaptation of that story or even read a script...?
QuinceDaPence ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I
chikenwingking ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:03:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I as well
QuinceDaPence ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The I's have it, the motion passes.
liverchops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye.
sEntientUnderwear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye
quantum_farticle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In any case I would buy a ticket for that movie! The fact that I know I would love to see how they will enact it in the movie! I am sure it would be as awesome as "LIMITLESS"
lordofthetv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy ruined my favorite movie!
RecklessTRexDriver ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:27:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is really, really good at this sort of thing it seems
arudnoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I feel like it's probably a one in a million thing. There are so many more posts where people don't get reconnected.
PM_ME_YOUR_LUKEWARM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes, exactly this.
only the posts that get very popular; for every one of these posts there's gotta be thousands that don't get any upvotes
alexnedea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well take any movie from the perspective of a random extra. From their perspective nothing happened, or maybe they died or something. The 1 in a million thing always happens to the main chracter. The guys that survive is 2012 for example are the 1 a million. The extras die in horrible earthquakes and so on. Same with these posts. Only one needs to happen, most don't. Same with your life. All the things you did in your life, in that order, meeting the people that you did and doing all the wonderful things you did, you are the main character. The one in a million.
arudnoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is pretty much exactly my point. Awesome things aren't abundant and there are no universal rules just because something worked put once for Oprah. Reddit is pretty much only good for sharing content and occasionally some fortuitous side effects occur.
Yoinkie2013 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:29:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So after getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I'm actually going to do it. I set up a gofundme page to get me started. If anyone wants to donate, they can. gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
Agentreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm on mobile and it's hard to navigate through all your comments without Ctrl+F. What's the end result with Amanda? Are you guys still talking, dating, married????
Edit: nevermind, found my answer from the podcast. Sorry to hear.
methmatician16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to leave us hanging, what happened?
Agentreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emails here and there. From 15 a month to 1 a month here and there. Sounded like it was fading. Guy seems to be hanging on still though.
fijozico ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:55:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he end up finding her? I saw that another guy knew her, but couldn't see how it paned out
Nai_Sora ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:25:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check the last part of the edit. He did found her again.
uncertainusurper ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:08:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tl;dr
[deleted] ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 13:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP meets a stranger (Amanda) who sets him a task to be completed sometime in life. He carries that through to other strangers he meets, exchanging tasks for each others bucket lists.
He finally completed reading the book set by Amanda a few years ago(?) One of the redditors who knew Amanda apparently was able to set up a Skype meeting and they have met irl.
the_doggo_27 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 13:16:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anybody wants to make this into a movie? i would donate about 30$ to it
Zombietimm ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:26:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd match that donation
Rediwed ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:28:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
daaniloviici ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking of adapting it to be a screenplay, for a short film (I study cinema).
I usually look for inspiring reddit comments to turn into short stories, but never had the courage to actually put pen to paper.
I think I just Ulysses Bucketlisted this comment for myself.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:03:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Ulyssesbucketlist/comments/25yst9/slug/chmsyx3 that's a good ending too
Alxndr_Hamilton ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:43:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do it! I'll match $30 if other people do as well.
Keep us updated!!
Retracx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll put 300$ we need this
Yoinkie2013 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:32:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredible. People are awesome sometimes.
ElectroclassicM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:04:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do it. I want to help.
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I truly love this site. I spend a lot of time listening to NPR in the car and watching the news. I find myself beginning to feel hopeless and depressed about the kind of terrible people that exist.
Then the are moments like this. :)
alexnedea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man your movie coild turn into a super hollywood movie one day. You never know who notices that you have a nice story there?
daaniloviici ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it takes months or years, I'll write the script up to what it deserves to be. Maybe then it'll be something... But I'm just a student now
ICAMEHERETOARGUE_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
Yoinkie2013 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:32:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
Yoinkie2013 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:45:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been thinking about making it into a movie or atleast short movie for quite a while. Maybe I should set up some kind of fundme account and actually try and do it for once?
Voyager_Nomadique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soooo... Did you tap it?
Yoinkie2013 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:32:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there! After getting hundreds of messages over the years telling me to make this into a movie, I've finally decided to do it. I've set up a gofundme to help start it. Feel free to donate if you'd like to!
gofundme.com/the-ulysses-bucket-list
Rcp_43b ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This premise is absolutely the kind of chick flick premise I'd take my girlfriend to see and Ryan Gosling would star in.
iiyaoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw the update he posted about getting to email each other and he talks about wanting to finish it together one day, but I couldn't find the rest of the story. Am I missing something?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you were right! only ended in an email, but amazing they managed to have some contact after all that
JayKayne ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where does it say they were able to meet again irl?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops i read it wrong. they were able to email each other only, updated here
chocobo-selecta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You the real MVP.
vbullinger ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
* Da
chocobo-selecta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't bring myself to write that faux word.
jubbing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:40:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me. Its worth the long read
simonwood0609 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he didn't find her. Or am I missing something?
ender89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an update that he did
simonwood0609 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:09 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't suppose you have a source? I couldn't find it.
somebunnny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Movie title: Clam Heart
theworkingbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did he find her?
A_Boner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it kinda was with the movie pay it forward?
thekidfromyesterday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda reminds me of Big Fish.
ScoobySharky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers, man.
intergalactictiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said lower down in the comments that some independent filmmaker asked him to make a movie about it and that they've been working together. I wonder if that fell through.
reversethrust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait.. he found her again?
eli10n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it was a movie i would set it up that he eventually ends up in a completely random place or bar where she suddenly appears and sings an a capella song. When she's done she would devote it to the "sweet boy from the train 20 years ago".
Something like that maybe make the story somewhat more believable but that would be so full of cutted onions
Lejeune1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
basically serendipity but with reddit!
JustHereToRedditAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He actually is doing it!
assortedgnomes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did, it's called serendipity.
DetectorReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you figure that out?
All_Hail_Krull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because he's a writer. it's a story. it was posted on highdeas by him two years prior and he copy and pasted it.
It's a giant trope too. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManicPixieDreamGirl
ender89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's disappointing. I mean, I would totally watch that movie but for a moment I thought the world was a bit more magical than it was before.
tntmod54321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are, he started a gofundme page a couple of hours ago it already has like $145 / $3500
Houseof1000Farts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a movie similar to this. Serendipity
FuckyesMcHellyeah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was, but after reading all the comments, I noticed this person who needed that story badly. They sounded suicidal, and haven't posted in 2 years. Now I'm worried about them. A total stranger. Does anyone know if this person is ok? Sometimes Reddit, sometimes. https://www.reddit.com/user/WookieeBass
Fudge89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:13:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? I want to do something, anything, as fulfilling as that story and subsequent thread was. Good read to start the day.
cogenix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:00:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
us people at r/wholesomememes are having a field day
ShoutsWillEcho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmsumgoodshitboiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just happy he met Amanda again
Pwntagonist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also totally unbelievable.
usernamecheckingguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:37 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and did you read the comments below it.
She FUCKING FOUND AMANDA.
lopoticka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting the "today you tomorrow me" story. I was wrong but not disappointed.
SecretAgentB ยท 786 points ยท Posted at 10:20:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was there every any update on that story? I've tried looking through those threads and it seems like there never was any update on it.
Crater_Raider ยท 1835 points ยท Posted at 10:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another Redditor put him in contact with Amanda
Ulysses Bucket List Amanda UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ulyssesbucketlist/comments/25yst9/ulysses_bucket_list_amanda_update/
[deleted] ยท 720 points ยท Posted at 11:32:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SinisterKid ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually a little disappointed. She never finished the book or completed her assignment. I liked the story better not knowing those two things.
Jirayja ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:22:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they have both tried to complete their assignments.
I had the same thought - shit did this guy just take something she might have just said in passing, make it into a huge emotional thing and she didn't care about the challenge at all?
But over all, it has been a wonderful experience for him. These are the things you do to make your life worth living. I'm jealous. Even if it didn't have the same effect to her.
SinisterKid ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I figured she suggested the book because it had some meaning to her, or maybe it changed her perspective on the world. Turns out it was just a troll move. "Hey read this book that's hard to get through that I've never read.". Haha he'll never be able to do that.
cookedbread ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:35:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I thought the book would teach him not to run away from family or something lol.
jrmunro11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:00:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps it was just a difficult challenge, and she knew that. He should be proud if he gets through, even if that wasn't her intention. I don't think this automatically makes it a "troll" move.
Yoinkie2013 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:22:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life never quite turns out to be the fairy tale we think it to be. A moment can mean everything to one person and be forgotten by the other. But that shouldn't deter us from enjoying the story and getting something meaningful out of it for ourselves.
NotARealBlacksmith ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:53:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did you two reconnect?
theHopp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow this is an amazing quote, thought, and mindset. Thank you for this :)
Also - did you and Amanda have your Skype and finish together??
GrilledCyan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:52:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, his advice never says that you yourself have to have completed the challenge. I'm sure at age 15 he'd never sang acapella with a room full of strangers. Perhaps the reason that she told him to read the book was because she knew she couldn't. And the "rules" say that she has the rest of her life to try it.
And it's hard to imagine that an exchange between two teenagers like that could have this perceived challenge as being malicious. Maybe it was a joke, but she changed this guy's life for the better, regardless of her intention.
If she didn't mean to, I can only hope that his story inspired her to take her own advice. Of course, above all, I hope that stalker situation was resolved and that she's better off these days.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more disappointed by the fact that they weren't immediately scheduling a meetup. JUST GET MARRIED DAMN IT!
PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:00:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing that she was dealing with a stalker at the time makes that less disappointing to me. Still would have liked to know if they ever finished their challenges though.
danceswithwool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she was like 31 years old. She was probably already married.
mcgrimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feels trips are in reddit's TOS, but who reads those??
Tomhap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're all good feels though.
--sad-bot-- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:16:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither ๐ฅ
altbekannt ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:45:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i mean the story itself is pretty unique and awesome, but the follow up is the part where minds are getting blown.
Burrito_Baggins ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this day and age we should start a gofundme and reunite these two.
be-targarian ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:50:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got the impression that the woman was glad of the impact she had on this person's life but isn't interested in a reunion, probably because she's married and doesn't want anything to be awkward.
Burrito_Baggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aahh, I gatcha.
neonmarkov ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:15:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah keep in mind this happened 18 years ago, and she was 17 at the time, so it wouldn't be surprising that she'd be married or in a long term relationship by that point. Plus it'd just be awkward I guess
fib16 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:51:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never got an update if they met. I hope they met each other and at least became friends or kept in touch.
Will7357 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Yoinkie2013 did you guys ever meet up?
cyborgcommando0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finally got an update 3 years later. Thank you!!
Leafy81 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is awesome. It always amazes me how Reddit can somehow bring people together like that.
TenNineteenOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that this story is now it's own subreddit
Rebuta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw man I wanted them to meet up!
WeaverOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These fucking heart moving stuff are movie material wth.
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the update isn't substantive enough. Are they still in contact, what happened next?
CuteThingsAndLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but are they together or what
Capissen38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is this even real life.
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awww. I hope they fall in love and get married :)
fingflopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here's a bit more of an update from a podcast he was on: https://www.reddit.com/r/Upvoted/comments/35ydpn/episode_18_the_longest_way_round_is_the_shortest/?st=j4fv1hjp&sh=f87e0a48
Korberos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Ulysses really that hard to read, or is he just a way better story-teller than reader?
bigpoppawood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't someone in the original thread find that the story was copied and pasted from a post on highdeas.com from 2012?
PanamaMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, looking back at that so many people where still so pissed about the safe thing that they were getting angry with that dude who said he knew her.
notsowise23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about ready to give up on Reddit until I read this. Beautiful.
KBHoleN1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:46:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? He edited the update into the bottom of that post, and there's a link to another thread with proof he got in contact with Amanda. What else do you want?
polarbear4321 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:16:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want them to marry and have plenty of kids to pass this story down to.
Zusuf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
paging /u/Yoinkie2013
pradeep23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/Ulyssesbucketlist/
eightpix ยท 525 points ยท Posted at 12:37:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, in Toronto, I was in the back at a party. I didn't hear her start, but someone had started singing a capella. Slowly, like a wave, her song drew everyone in, silencing every conversation and drawing in hearts of a hundred or so people. She started quietly, but, as we listened her voice rose. To that point I'd never seen a group as entranced as that. She sang for about 2 minutes in with the full attention of everyone there. I never knew the song, nor the name of the singer, but I'll never forget the experience. At parties, a person can get everyone's attention by doing something crazy, or loud, or stupid, or violent. This was a thing of beauty.
eighteen22 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:51:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some sophistos from the tv studios around the corner...laughing and govoreeting. The devotchka was smecking away, and not caring about the wicked world one bit. Then the disc on the stereo twanged off and out, and in the short silence before the next one came on, she suddenly came with a burst of singing. It was like for a moment, o my brothers, some great bird had flown into the milk bar. And I felt all the malenky little hairs on my plott standing endwise. And the shivers crawling up like slow, malenky lizards...and then down again. Because I knew what she sang. It was a bit from the glorious 9th by Ludwig van
_Pornosonic_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:33:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why you using Russian words?
42001321 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's from A Clockwork Orange, and it's not actually Russian. It's a made up slang language derived from Russian, though, so good eye.
randombullshit314159 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to skip to the end to make sure there wasn't anything about Hell in a Cell looming.
Frykitty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happen before lady gaga got really famous. She was doing the tour of all the different house of blues. Of course, being in New Orleans the power goes out.
She comes on stage in the half lit house of blues and tells us "I promised you a concert I'm just gonna cappella this for you." She filled that house of blues with her voice that sent chills down everyone in attendance and she had all eyes on her. I've never seen or heard anything like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful story, thanks for sharing. I kind of relate to that as I too have felt the power of such a beautiful voice. It is so beautiful it makes me cry and I don't understand why.
politicaljunkie4 ยท -73 points ยท Posted at 13:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would rather see a woman pull her tits out.
eightpix ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:29:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when her friend steals your wallet and the room just keeps going.
Did you read the linked story?
politicaljunkie4 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 15:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah its amazing...can't wait to have my wife read it.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 17:54:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sector_Corrupt ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:22:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might want to go check out a strip club some time instead of being a lecherous weirdo in normal social places.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:39:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sector_Corrupt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:02:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact you seem to be unaware of the difference between "sexuality is often subtly incorporated into many things" and "Talking about women in a context unrelated to sexuality and explicitly declaring you wish they'd bust out them titties" probably contributes a great deal to the fact that you don't "get" people.
And yes, even blatant in your face subtext is a lot better than "show us yo titties" It's the difference between asking people if they're trying for a baby vs. asking if they're having unprotected sex, despite those being the exact same things.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:11:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sector_Corrupt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:18:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A joke is generally made up of humor, instead of just objectifying someone after a nice story about them. "I'd rather see her tits, right boys he he?" just isn't even a joke. You can tell, because nobody seemed to find it funny, and instead found it offputting and alienating.
Also calling someone a snowflake because they disagreed with you is stupid. I'm a cis white male software developer in his 20s. I'm about as unique on reddit or anywhere else as dirt. The original implication was a dig at people who thought they were special, but I'm pretty much as close as you could find to some sort of generic everyman character. I just found your comments distasteful, because they were.
Filthony-Franktano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How sad to know that a woman pulling her tits out will still have more impact on the world than your existence ever could, eh? I feel bad for your poor wife.
Beleg_Weakbow ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 11:12:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew this would be on here. So great.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:16:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn, this one comment made an entire subreddit with 10k subs
stanleypup ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:11:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/nonzeroday is pretty similar. 31k subs off one post, ironically from another Canadian.
EastABlack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the original thread?
stanleypup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af
keytop19 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:34:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't doubt that this ever happened, one thing that always bugged my was how OP says that he can barely remember any conversations or events he has with other people. When looking at his comment history, though, all it is, is the magnificent, detailed stories or these crazy/funny/sad events during his life.
I have a feeling OP is just a great storyteller, exaggerating the truth at times.
PYCisCPA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:54:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd choose to believe it actually happened just like that. Glass half full, I guess :)
32BitWhore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes that's okay though. He knows how to hook your heartstrings for sure.
Barrybran ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:58:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a cool story. Thanks for the link.
FactuallyInadequate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been looking for this for months! Hero.
ArkLinux ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:24:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Linking /u/Yoinkie2013 to tell him that people still remember and adore his comment.
Yoinkie2013 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:25:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the kind words!
Zyod_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever talk to Amanda?
Angry_Apollo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP please!
Demonic_Havoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went and read the story you shared with Reddit and what surprised me is that reddit had the power of finding that girl for you.
The joy i had for you! NEVER lose contact with that girl again for that she gave you a priceless gift. I hope you traveled to meet her again? That would of been lovely for the both of you.
RamenJunkie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to challenge this guy to use than/then correctly.
AltimaNEO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But its not a story a Jedi would tell you
NYstate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man thanks for the read! This is exactly what I needed today, and everyday actually.
You don't know me but I'd like to confess that I've been having a lot of emotions lately dealing with my kids and this story made me think of my own children and made love them even more. My sons, 18 year old twins, are at a crossroads right now. They're trying to figure out the next step in their life. One is just hanging around doing nothing, and the other is working two jobs trying to make something of his life. I've been struggling with my non-working son and what he really needs in his life. What he really needs is direction. I'm going to challenge him today to have some direction in his life, maybe like the person in the story, do something unexpected and see what happens. Maybe that'll change his outlook on life. But thank you for the link it made my day. Really.
PYCisCPA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing a little piece of yourself. I just became a father myself 28 days ago. My little angel is taking a nap in my arms as I type you this. She's my everything. Just few weeks before she's born, doctors told us there's a chance she may not live due to a lung condition, but look where we are now. I don't know you, but if you're telling me the truth that you're worried about your sons right now, then I know as a matter of fact, that you're the very parent your kids need right now. They will do just fine - because they'll always have you by their side. Take care, stranger.
NYstate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the kind words. Yes it's real. If you read a little bit of my post history, I posted a thread a few weeks ago about a certain incident involving my very same twins that kind of ties into all of this. I could link it if you want.
I will tell you this: Kids are a ride. No other way of describing it. You'll have times that you hate 'em, times you love 'em and times that they will make you proud. Sometimes all three at the same time! It's funny to see their little personality grow and see them grow into adults. You see so much of your yourself in them, good, bad and otherwise. You quickly learn the limits of yourself and what you can take, and what you can do. But it's always been a heckova ride. It's not always fun, believe me but it's something, and one day the little so-and-so's will grow up and they'll be proud of the thing you did for them and because of them.
Have a good day!
Yoinkie2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you're trying. I wish you best of luck in helping your kids in anyway that you can.
NYstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man
PYCisCPA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Yoinkie2013 thanks for your amazing story :)
tizniz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaand saved.
KJ6BWB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's so sad that ThatGuyWhoAte's account was deleted. The one who brought them back together again is now gone.
DunkanBulk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subscribed to /u/UlyssesBucketList
UlyssesBucketList ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:18 on July 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahaha this was the most unexpected inbox mail I've ever received.
DunkanBulk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:06 on July 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOPS, meant /r/UlyssesBucketList. My mistake, mate!
silmarillionas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
TheClockWorker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So fake
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this the other day!
MitchAlmighty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That made me emotional. I am not the kind of person to feel emotional. thank you
1upforever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading Yes Man and being encouraged to do what the book entailed but never followed through with it. But this might actually be the thing I do to shake up my dull and dreary life. Time for me to message some old friends that I haven't spoken to in years...
Thanks for sharing this!
PYCisCPA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do it. Also tell your parents how much you love them :)
1upforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already do whenever I talk to her. My mum is one of the most important people in the world to me. But you're right, I have been meaning to call her. Thanks =)
Reese1993 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got goosebumps and tears in my eyes. This is so amazing. Thank you very much for sharing this so more people could see it.
PYCisCPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how I felt when I read the story for first time. Save the thread, and pass it on :)
Reese1993 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I most definitely will be. :)
Edit: why would people downvote this? lol there's nothing bad about what I said..
Justikyzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did the guy meet her in end or not?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but that is some saccharine hipster shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
genuinely.. "go read ulysses" said the pixie girl on the tram. excuse my vomit.
Blackjackx1031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's so awesome
KhR0NiiK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did they shag tho?
Why_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If what you got out of that story is that it's a story worth telling you didn't get the story.
That is a story worth living.
Much like Today You; Tomorrow Me. Going around telling these stories is like living in an empty husk. Living them is how you get fulfillment not by using others stories.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That story just made me remember why I hate James Joyce.
A fifty page run-on sentence? Fuck you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome.
_Pornosonic_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
dahjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clam heart.
gratefulyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I go to a lot of music festivals myself, and I meet a lot of instant friends who I bond with then leave to never see again... Guess I'm starting my own Ulysses bucket list
SadOcean44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Breh
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also this story for the feels (it's loooong though).
rghre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some Kimi No Na Wa shit right here
tigerjess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is amazing and now I want do that with my life
PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered reading this after the first line. Loved that story the first time and this time.
Critonurmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was great. And a redditor knew Amanda and got them in contact!
Adog311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be great if someone had commented " I hate you" and he responded "I love you" to knock another one off the list.
juanbautistajryabadu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was incredible. Thank you!
skiing123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're crying!
akcaye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr. anyone have a summary?
themightytouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a little misty eyed, thanks. :)
themightytouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a little misty eyed, thanks. :)
The2500 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if I just so happened across the same story or if it's a copypasta.
NAWhitmore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp. This is definitely going on my saved list!
ord3p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was awesome. Is there a sub where I can find more stories like this?
grundo1561 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lordy I is cryin'
IAmTheNight2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did this motherfucker marry her or not? Please tell me he did.
dsquard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn dude was that thread ever followed up on? did they ever reunite??
Guitar115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading that on the bus my freshman year of college.
RememberWolf359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on now, wearing a crazy costume at a music festival barely merits any looks.
Source: Have worn crazy costumes to music festivals.
tastymango363 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been looking for this for the past 2 years!!! Thank you for sharing.
MonkeyOnYourMomsBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ that's a lot of gold
foamingturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of those moments where I cry tears of joy at work. Thanks for sharing this.
polymetric_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's 6 degrees of separation right there
zenpooka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
TraceHunter69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to search for those ninjas. I'm going to find them. I'm going to kill them. Then I'm going to grab those onions, AND SHOVE THEM THROUGH THEIR GODDAMN THROATS!
Norgenigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was 3 years ago?
What have I been doing.
briar_angel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this one saved too.
cvc34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR?
HerrKRAKEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story is so bittersweet to me, I met a girl on a plane years ago that had the most beautiful eyes, and it's likely I'll never see them again
Kuruttta-Kyoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone tldr me pls?
InformalProof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Half expected at the end for someone to suggest to him, "when you have a son, whenever he does something wrong, beat him with jumper cables."
paytience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's doing a gofundme to make a movie about the story.
HollowScope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he ever connect with her?
JustHereToRedditAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has actually been challenged to make a film out of it and has accepted! You can see his post there.
pradeep23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOW!
emmayarkay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why isn't this a movie yet?
It could end with him getting on the train 10-15 years after meeting the girl. He pulls the book out of his bag to read the last few pages. At the other end of the train car a women starts to sing a cappella and the screen cuts to black.
jumpsteadeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I CAME HERE TO LAUGH, NOT TO CRY
docsthaname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This so sounds like a tom hanks/meg ryan type of film! The start of it is the initial meeting, then shots of his life meeting others, then finding her 14 years later and falling in love.
emaciated_pecan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:54 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My challenge to him: start a profitable biz and hand it over plz
Pixie0422 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:29 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bf willingly and independently read Ulysses. It is one of the things I find most fascinating about him. I'm an avid reader and book lover and I would never attempt it.
OniiChanStopNotThere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:16 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was such an amazing read and I'm so happy that he was able to find Amanda.
ProxyArcane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that cries
nauru_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell isnt this the top comment? How to make stir fry really beats this??
ThisManDoesTheReddit ยท 23994 points ยท Posted at 09:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/PJQ4TnY.webm NSFW but it cracks me the fuck up every time
Edit: Thanks for my first gold ever you awesome anonymous bastard you!
chanaleh ยท 3190 points ยท Posted at 12:01:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The look on his face gets me every time.
jimothee ยท 826 points ยท Posted at 13:49:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He straight Lenny Kravitz'd that shit
Goldsmifff ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 14:44:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We here at Oh, Hello feel that that did not get nearly enough attention.
Smellmyhand ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:26:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna do the wrder anymore
taabigamer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:38:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cmon gil the water is the strongest fucking part of the show!
Dragons_Malk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:49:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The line hangs there in the air like Lenny Kravitz's very nice, very full penis
GackleBlax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what or who "Oh, Hello" is, but I read it in the voice of 343 guilty spark.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jimothee ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:57:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you need to do is google Lenny Kravitz dick
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 20:10:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really actually don't ever need to do that.
AllThatCreepeth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:43:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Niles Crane-ish
RonSpec ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:12:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like he's in on it
FennlyXerxich ยท 5126 points ยท Posted at 10:39:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a bad size.
Edit: Found this gem
ThePeoplesBard ยท 3806 points ยท Posted at 10:47:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro is definitely a shower (show-er), not a grower.
poopellar ยท 1284 points ยท Posted at 12:13:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if he is?
Tyler1492 ยท 3737 points ยท Posted at 12:23:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then behold the birth of a master race.
FoodTruckFiletMignon ยท 3294 points ยท Posted at 12:42:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Poem_for_your_sprog ยท 2095 points ยท Posted at 13:17:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said: 'A weighty trunk resides below -
And where it hides, I keep it close to hand,
To show to strangers, so that all may know:
The master race of man begins with this -
A sculptured scepter shown with shocked surprise;
A torn and twisted trouser, made amiss,
To fall and flop before your open eyes.'
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, King of Cocks!
Look on my dick, ye Mighty and Despair!'
And there it was, the sudden strangest sight
Of that colossal cock, boundless and bare,
And falling there before me in the night.
SneakyPasta ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 13:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one
EBPWT02 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:35:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always welcome when sprog shows up!
BatmanCabman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
Meanwhile_in_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:36:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
INB4 you get as many upvotes as /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
Thanks /r/PrequelMemes
quickdrawyall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:46:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Started laughing the second I saw the username. Didn't even need to read it to know something beautiful was about to happen
straydog1980 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:43:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's teabag then
theycallhimjohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets better every time
Epistaxis ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much like the original video.
Liquid_Vine ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One day, kids will be spinning their pens, tapping their fingers, and staring up at the clock on the wall, hoping they were out skating at the hoverpark, watching that new 5D movie in theaters, or hanging out with their friends at the new e-shop that recently opened in the mall- it was about time too that there was a new place to plug in with your friends. That old cafe you used to go to, Rรฉali-Thรฉ Virtuelle, was getting overrun with underclassmen as of late. In truth, they will have wished they were anywhere else but fifth period.
The teacher will have asked a question, but no one will have raised their hands- Ms. Brown already knew the kids weren't looking forward to studying early 21st Century literature; Everyone had moaned and groaned when the syllabus first went out because Fifty Shades of Grey was too long, and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was college-level material. Still, she will collect her thoughts, and ask the students again.
"On page 187, the writer uses a series of alliterative inflections on lines 6 and 7, that give the reader a sense of foreshadowed distress. The impact of the sculptured scepter hidden underneath torn and twisted trousers insinuates the same theme carried throughout the poem. What emphasis do you think the writer might have been proposing with regards to the cultural shift of the era? Or rather, what was the writer's approach to the socio-economic standing of the main character, compared to the traveller? Here's a hint: Think about the Ancients and their works like The Catcher in The Rye, or The Great Gatsby. What is the cultural impact the writer has in mind?"
Kids will keep on thinking "What if he just wrote it for the hell of it and there was no meaning? Maybe the dude just has a big dick and his pants are wrinkly," but it'll be no use. The rest of the week will be spent dissecting and analyzing more representative 21st Century poetry like this...
Ms. Brown will interpret the silence as perplexed resignation: "Ok, this will be on the test next week, so make sure you take notes. The alliterative force of the trunk, and the torn and twisted trousers alludes to Trump. When he claims the master race begins with this, he begins to wave his dick around, like a sort of Trump tower. He grabs it like a scepter. This sculptured scepter shown with shocked surprise, on the other hand, is not just a play on words; It's an alliterative allusion to Sean Spicer, as he was the only one who was willing to show Trump's dick around to those who would then be shocked and surprised. These two lines portray a sense of empowerment, but we can't gloss over the fact that the scepter was sculptured, or molded. Sure, we can interpret this as a sort of faked rise to power, but there's another hidden meaning that the writer tried to portray with the image of a molded dick. The writer's intent here is to affiliate the image of Trump's golden scepter with a gilded rubber dildo. A gildo. Now, with that all in mind, we must realize that Trump is the traveller from an antique land. The antique land is, as you studied in history class, America- because you already know of the war of 2027 and the devastating nuclear impact it had on itself. This is to say, the main character is not American. He sees Trump as a foreigner who whipped out his cock to wave around yet again. Now, the final question I have for you is: Where is the main character from? Is he really bewildered by Trump's dick? Or is this 'sudden strange sight' something more disappointing? Consider this question on your essays this weekend as we continue studying the underlaying overtones of the socio-economic impact on u/Poem_for_your_sprog, and other 21st Century classic literature writers."
SquarePeg37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't make a slow clap Emoji, but I wish I could.
themage1028 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. High school English class wrecking literature, as usual.
The_Rogue_Penguin ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 13:25:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simply beautiful.
Phillygsteak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just finished breaking bad for the third time and this struck a chord! You are awesome, sprog.
mvanvoorden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMHO the best episode of a tv series ever made.
taitaofgallala ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is going in my saved section aside from the post itself.
ThatLexxyFellow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a Sprog poem using my favourite poem as a base? My birthday came a month early :D
The_Infamous_Alt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:27:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ozymandias, King of Cocks!"
Cracked me up! Great work, dude.
japaneseknotweed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, let's see...to be sung to the tune of Finlandia.
kciuq1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of one of my favorite YTMNDs of all time.
http://robe.ytmnd.com/
allenahansen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And hark comes sprog, as though by clarion called,
slouching toward reddit to drop porn.
q_a_z_m_l_p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinky.
FoleyX90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fucking beautiful
pew_laser_pew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just had my English exam on this poem. Thanks for reminding me that I probably failed!
roots-rock-reggae ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:27:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A departure from your usual style Sprog, and a fine one at that.
catman2021 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:08:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Percey Bysshe Shelley would be very proud! Beautiful and perfect adaptation.
InterracialMartian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:09:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm having trouble with the flow on this one. But 'My name is Ozymandias, King of Cocks!' is brilliant.
DuckAndCower ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:47:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its flow is different from Sprog's normal stuff because it's a parody of Ozymandias by Percy Shelley.
Lat_R_Alice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is majestic as fuck.
Nothing beats a majestic cock poem.
(Insert cock beating joke here)
(Insert "Insert cock" joke here)
Coppeh ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except you beating this majestic cock of mine.
And also the eventual majestic connection.
steelermade28 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:36:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the iambic pentameter. Really well done, sproggy.
MyNameIsOzymandias- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, my cock is not that magnificent, thank you though.
Danthe30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I think you're thinking of Dr. Manhattan
tamadekami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next, Mr. Dennis Keat will recite his latest problem 'Ode to a Glass of Sherry.'
moopymooperson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girthy poems!!
hembles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never would have guessed my favorite sprog would be a parody lol
pumpkin_pod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Earliest I've seen a sprog post
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:28:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly why I love Reddit.
Gabbster19 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:43:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another amazing one and it's fresh! And I was here! Day made.
PENISFULLOFBLOOD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of a Lord of the Rings prose if the books were even more homoerotic.
Turtledonuts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:15:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This works way too well.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:15:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im in awe
Ghitit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good one.
WannabeEnyineer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Truly, other forms of penis art don't compare.
3391224 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11 minutes
polonuim210 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How could you produce such wonderful literature about the vulgarist of subjects, my jester, you are a wonderful peddler of content
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To fall and flop before your open eyes.
Audibly laughing at work
TheCoolManz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's all, folks!
gnarlycharlie4u ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most amazing novelty account.
ouch-my-head-hurts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shelley had such a way with words.
LordoftheFaff ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
someone give this man a gold I am poor so cannot do so myself.
DionysusIn69 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think Shelley would be delighted at your tribute to him within your work.
pataglop ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always a pleasure
Rohri_Calhoun ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favourite saved thing
vonmonologue ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original is my second favorite poem of all time. This may be your only poem I've ever bothered to read.
7/10 not enough hopelessness.
slowedfantasia ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:34:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, thanks
BellTheMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna hold it...
southernbenz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He walked right into that one.
Jpvsr1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They call him "Girth Brooks"
malkomax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that fuck that fuck you or fixed that for you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
malkomax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent, thank you.
Turtles_on_a_Bus ยท 290 points ยท Posted at 12:45:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dong to surpass Metal Gear.
sakuredu ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:06:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Metal....Donger?!
MvdVeen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:29:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're that ninja...
2FLY2TRY ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:53:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penis Mantis!!
naufalap ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:12:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kept you edging, huh?
HappyZavulon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:29:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A HIND DICK?! COLONEL, WHAT'S A RUSSIAN GUNSHIP DOING HERE.
megamaxie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such a lust for dong!
mastaofspasta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOOOOOOOOO???!!
BrendanTheONeill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't consider my dick to be overly large but I find it surprising how many of you are impressed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Holmes
wenzelboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Behold the girth of a master race?
rex_dart_eskimo_spy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what /r/BeholdTheMasterRace is about?
LordCharco_iii ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 12:29:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then he is descended from Bonobo apes.
IDisageeNotTroll ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 12:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average bonobo is 8cm
gorilla is 3cm
For a great ape, the human is quite big.
That's because we have a boneless boner (Gorilla, chimp, bonobo have one with a bone inside). So it's more flexible, so you don't have to bang everywhere you go
Charles_Zard ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:27:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have a boneless boner
PM_ME_HYPNOSIS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DEADASS
crankypants_mcgee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying that, to a female gorilla, I'm enormous.
thesunscreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have to or get to
KetoneGainz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's also because of promiscuousness. Your dick is basically shaped to pump other males semen out of a vagina while you are copulating.
andthendirksaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. The promiscuity of female apes in each species directly correlates to the average size of penises among males of that same species.
Hof354 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bigdickproblems
CounterpointBlue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They seem to be stroking their egos in that sub.
stringerbbell ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, and yes I get the joke. There's serious issues having a big dick. Relationship, condoms, and perception
Uncreative_Color ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That ain't the only thing they strokin
iacon225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then there is no hope for the rest of us
Zacky_Cheladaz ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 14:09:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do girls know about the whole grower vs show-we thing?
masnaer ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:18:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the pool!
soapy_goatherd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:26:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It shrinks?
Devilsrider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
Baxterftw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin George
Zacky_Cheladaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I was thinking of this when I asked!
philosotits ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, please tell! Does it mean that it looks big but actually isn't because it won't get any bigger once hard?
Zacky_Cheladaz ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will get bigger, however the percentage of growth is not consistent across the board. Some guys will only grow a small percentage from flaccid. Others can grow considerably more! (Picture those toys you soaked in a glass of water that grew like crazy).
Good article here
"Dr. Kohler: Flaccid penile length doesn't correlate with erect penile length. What does correlate with erect penile length is a penis put on full stretch. You basically grab ahold of your penis and pull it as hard as you can like youโre trying to pull it off. The propensity of the penis to grow is directly proportional to how far you can pull it away from the body." I wouldn't advise this!!
philosotits ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:45:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, here's my takeaway-- when in doubt about a potential mate's length, forcibly grab their member and yank it to ensure it has growing potential.
Zacky_Cheladaz ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:15:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. In fact, this should be the first thing you do when meeting somebody new. Don't even ask their name first.
HolycommentMattman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's basically what a show-er is. Otherwise known as a locker room dong. They're large while flaccid (like a hot dog), but they typically won't grow much more than that when erect.
Growers are more like a statue of David penis. Flaccid length can be only 1-2", but when erect, they can grow by 500%. Sometimes more, sometimes less. So kinda like Ant Man or Apache Chief.
Also, great user name.
Dallas_Stars_Fan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:01:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being a grower kind of sucks. My flaccid is about 3 inches but grows to 7...it's definitely smaller than 3 depending on the circumstance. Like after working out intensely..
[deleted] ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 16:33:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest I think its how some people who are dissatisfied with the size of their penis flaccid reconcile their insecurities. I think if you have a big dick soft, then its gonna get proportionally bigger hard. Its not like (barring some freak of nature) you dont have enough blood to fill your penis if its above average in size.
EDIT: So this seems to have pissed a lot of people off, but does this: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.penetric.com/varying-sizes-flaccid-penis/amp/ not show a general positive correlation from flaccid to erect size, increasing in length from flaccid? (The graph you have to scroll down)
sarcasticorange ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:16:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Flaccid length doesn't correlate with erect length. Dicks are weird.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that true? It seems like this https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.penetric.com/varying-sizes-flaccid-penis/amp/ Shows otherwise? (Sorry for messy link im on mobile)
sarcasticorange ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:13:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your link is fine. However, it doesn't really indicate that.
It even has the following section:
If you want a more reliable source...
http://www.webmd.boots.com/men/guide/5-things-you-did-not-know-about-your-penis
Sohcahtoa82 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:27:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reality doesn't care what you think. It's been researched and tested. You are wrong.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:57:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa there ok, I didnt think this was such a touchy subject.
Zacky_Cheladaz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:57:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yessir, believe it or not, penis size is a touchy subject. But then again, isn't touchy a good thing when it comes to the penis?
TrynaSleep ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously doubt it
Sour_Badger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
50/50
Foleylantz ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:24:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Norway we call it "Blood Dick" or "Muscle Dick"
ShvoogieCookie ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really, muscle dick? In Germany it's "Blood dick" and "Flesh/Meat dick"
Muscle sounds odd since I don't associate muscles with penises. At least not right away...
euron_my_mind ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you say these in French? I feel like I will never again have the opportunity to learn this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShvoogieCookie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:53:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon France, you have the language of love and never got around to talking about the different types of dicks?
Foleylantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah, makes more sense litterally.
Kjรธttiss sounds really wierd in Norwegian and it doesnt roll off the tounge nicely. You could drop Tiss and go Kjรธttkuk instead but it looses some of its charm and isnt as funny unless you say it in a Northern dialect.
Narcissistic_nobody ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:27:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are the Norwegian words for it?
Foleylantz ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blodtiss, Muskeltiss
Its a lot more funny from that perspective
soldierofwellthearmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like blodkuk and muskelkuk would be the more appropriate variations.
Appaloosa_Slim_Chode ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:40:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think those are nuts
scotchirish ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a dong aficionado, it's my expert opinion that he has both large nuts and a very respectable piece.
outerdrive313 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:42:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grower here. I applauded.
vulgarswamiyako ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:21:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen shower spelt, I've only ever said it out loud and now my mind is exploding. We need a better word
HIGH_ENERGY_MEMES ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:41:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm jelly. I go from tic-tac to Pringles can, but itd sure be nice to have a little more baggage in my pants when I'm just chilling
HolycommentMattman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've always wanted a show-er. Seems like a lot more fun things you can do. Like helicoptering or whatever.
Best thing I ever got to do the old magic trick where you put the tic-tac in her mouth, but then pull out the pringles can. That was kinda fun. Only works once, though.
momo1757 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:49:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meat vs Blood
jumpuptothesky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dawn of Erection
geosarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if he is a shower...AND A GROWER
HolycommentMattman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then all is lost.
GuySimile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
upvoteifurgey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:40:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/ShowerThoughts
KingOfKingOfKings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, this pair of pants are mighty uncomfortable... I should tell my tailor I wear left next time...
Master_Tallness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if he was already half-chub?
misskimboslice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a he is a bit of both
jtgyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find that hard to swallow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people just have big dicks too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or he is a shower but cause he's all heated up and dancing with some ladies he's just chubbin.
JayString ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:51:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just want to chime in as a show-er: show-ers grow too.
belltype ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:58:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grower here: oh :c
Sir_Lith ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grower as well - too big and she's in pain. So there's that.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/bigdickproblems
HolycommentMattman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but typically not much at all. More like 10-20% increase vs. 500%.
SensationalDuke ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's about proportion of growth, you small-dicked idiot.
NewJobHelp_BUYSIDE ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:46:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even that big....someone is insecure ๐ค
Fascist_Regime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:02:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what if he's a shower and a grower....
scottpilgrim_gets_it ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:19:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you put that enunciation breakdown. :D
Legit was unsure, but then again I'm high off meds for my cold so not much makes sense now.
Onceyougozach_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Granted the man is at a prom, probably grinding on his date. I'd assume he's been at half mast for the majority of the evening
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:16:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Vanilla_Buddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ThatsStayingBlue/
jumpuptothesky ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:17:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teleports behind you
Heh, not bad kid
space_keeper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing personnel, kid.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LLJM, ladies love John Mayer
PM_ME_UR_LEWD_NUDE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love that little smile at the end
[deleted] ยท -39 points ยท Posted at 13:02:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kimmi-- ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..... I cringed
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:08:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kimmi-- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.... You must not have very much experience with women.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kimmi-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Ew. I just think you're really sad. No one in this thread cares about your penis, my dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kimmi-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proved you right about what? All you've done is made everyone who is passing by this thread cringe at your desperate attempts to get people complimenting your dick... Congratulations? O.o
TheOfficialPossum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What'd this guy say?
Kimmi-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He started off by going on about how his dick was bigger than the guy in the gif, to which I responded "cringe". He then followed that with "well I was wondering if there were women out there who liked dicks less than 10 inches", to which I said "you have no experience with women" ... He then POSTED A LINK TO A PICTURE OF HIS DICK?!?!? Asking if if was good enough and so on and so forth. took a screenshot
TheOfficialPossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:56:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classy as hell.
DaddysPeePee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:25:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, sure.
[deleted] ยท 497 points ยท Posted at 10:07:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
predo05 ยท 199 points ยท Posted at 11:22:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude....
Log_Out_Of_Life ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet'
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 12:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_StatesTheObvious ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D' UUUUUUUDeh
serny ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:55:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RAY. FUCKED ME.
YourCummyBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude....
badlydrawnjohn35 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LE REEDIT
Keyann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?
The_Meatyboosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can call me dragon.
theyrefilminmidgets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we still doing "phrasing"??
christhejuggler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:15:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phrasing.
randypriest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hardly an empty hand in that case...
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What...
Aaron_Ramasamy ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said
[deleted] ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 15:06:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So something like this happened to me. I went car shopping in the not so distant past, I didn't realize until I was in the car on the way to the dealership that there was a fairly large rip in the Crotch of my jeans. I wasn't wearing underwear, figured I'd just make sure to sit appropriately as my Tshirt fell just below my waste. Anybody that's purchased a car knows how long and boring the process could be and I guess I forgot but sitting across from the car salesmen I looked down and realized I was sitting there with my legs apart and one of my testicles was hanging out from the hole in my pants. I was kinda curious why this guy was keepin such stern eye contact with me but in hindsight I realized it was so he didn't accidentally glance at my balls. I can't beleive the guy didn't say anything but I know from where I was sitti there is was a direct line of sight from my nuts to his vantage point
AlternateContent ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:34:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get a good deal though?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, really happy with the car!
BlueFalcon3725 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 19:58:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LPT: Pull your balls out when negotiating a car purchase to assert your dominance.
superiosity_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real LPT is always in the comments.
chuckdooley ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:11:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a real pro
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it common where you live to not wear underpants?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:00:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to wear underwear but, and let me know if I'm not alone in this, my underwear and socks always just end up disappearing. I started to wear those Addidas clmacool underwear too and it was just getting expensive having to order new underwear ever few months so I just sorta stopped. I wish I was joking. I really haven't notice too much difference to be honest. What is the purpose of underwear anyway?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:27:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can change apparel around people more easily, you can wear your pants longer without it getting stinky, you can hide uncomfortable boners more easily, it helps with your sack sticking to your legs, it is considered sexy by many, and probably just because that's what I'm used to, but it's more comfortable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
freeballin' is not overrated, let me just tell you that. My only concern was a getting long balls but so far even though I work out regularly I havent had that issue.
Pm_Me_Neon_Panties ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:53:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a video of this?
yamesjames ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 13:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here it is
DanksForTheMemories ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:37:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rip mobile
FuckingTexas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:17:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even bother clicking on links to twitter from mobile. It's always cancer to my phone.
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god damnit my stomach hurts from laughing so much
M374llic4 ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 13:30:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, you just watched it.
Pm_Me_Neon_Panties ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:33:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched a gif. I want video with audio.
M374llic4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TOUGH SHIT
FennlyXerxich ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:16:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that seems like a problem. Here's some information on stool softeners in case you need them.
M374llic4 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just had a pretty decent shit, I think I am ok now. I will favorite this though just in case it happens again. Good looking out fam.
Ryanestrasz ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 12:50:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats a nice donger.
tristyntrine ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:06:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that's one gif I can really go down on, I mean for.
LAMB_OF_GOSH ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:20:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, dude hangs hog
SlightlyB0SS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes very thundergun of him
Bbmaster91 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 13:25:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he free balling it in a suit?
YodasBrain ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 13:09:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy goes to my school, this was at a sorority function. We must've watched this like 1000 times when it first happened haha
BeastmodeBisky ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 13:25:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/djgl1hw/
At least one of you seem to be lying it seems... /r/KarmaConspiracy
Novicept ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 13:31:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wedding guy is lying. This guy is in a fraternity at some college.
RatherDashingf11 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:19:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also went to his school, can confirm. It was a sorority function not a wedding.
WizardPikachu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also went there, this is true.
gypsydreams101 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:38:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going there right now to confirm if it's true.
That_was_kinda_meh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm as well. It's true.
chaosfire235 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:34:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, he does not look like he wants to keep dancing.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:43:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AKA_Squanchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I think that would have been beneficial at many of the frat/sorority functions I attended.
Jaquestrap ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was up on TFM before it ever hit reddit. Anyone who's been to a fraternity/sorority formal would be able to recognize it as such instantly.
BeastmodeBisky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else mentioned something about college too so I think you're probably right.
WizardPikachu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, this was at UCSB.
torque_team ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got the original snapchat video! Definitely a sorority date party.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did he feel about people spreading the video though?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:57:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GA_Thrawn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that you guys call it school and not university or college. I know it's correct but around here people refer to school as grade school.
jnemi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:45 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UCSB!
bogidyboy ยท -39 points ยท Posted at 13:48:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who look like that get invited to sorority functions?
I should've tried harder in college
Send_Me_Puppies ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:22:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You also need to be cool
bogidyboy ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:28:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit
FlipBackLip ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:40:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girthquake
Cabotju ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:18:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because both the cock and balls come out that it's so damn funny
The_Essex ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:58:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen this gif in a hot minute. Quality content.
PeytonRoyce ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:32:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that super thick penis
GA_Thrawn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a ball sack, the penis is the thing bouncing around
Schenkspeare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a strait man, somewhat ashamed to say I did freeze frame and I concur. This man has normal width everything. I'd wager this guy's dick actually looks thin when erect due to his assuredly long wang. But I'm no expert, I just watch a decent amount of porn. Any experts care to chime in?
S103793 ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 11:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The gif of him doing "the testicle dance" is so much better also did this guy not wear boxers or something
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo link us up
S103793 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would but I can't find it :(
the_simonius ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 11:48:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a link?
Staplingdean ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 12:47:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a light?
Andre_Young_MD ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 12:54:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the water and this is the well
Bradsmiley ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 12:57:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drink full and descend
cusulhuman ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:05:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within
Rowan5215 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:08:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
through the darkness of future past...
PunxsatownyPhil ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:48:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the magician longs to see.
famiry_feud ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:58:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call for help
AmondaPls ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmister Jackpots.
ThirstyPotato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:53:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLLLOOOOOooooOOOOOO
nathanfr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:59:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Need more vespene gas.
kilopeter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:00:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slammin'!
Ombortron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:39:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Slammin'"
blofish87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:57:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, a bud light!
jcats7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:38:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Early in the morning, the face crud from like a mud fight!
blofish87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good ol DOOm to start your day : D
WaveElixir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looky here
shadow_fox09 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too much Starcraft
OCLBlackwidow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
never
instantrobotwar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you from somewhere...
joemckie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got any grapes?
catipillar ยท -93 points ยท Posted at 12:25:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvote until links are provided.
Ryuubu ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 13:15:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been downvoting you, but the link still won't appear
catipillar ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 14:07:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to downvote everyone.
Ahardknockwurstlife ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:02:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no thanks, you should be enough
FattyFourEyes ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 13:24:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, there's nothing wrong with not wearing boxers.
Bigfrostynugs ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:51:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks, I don't wanna have to wash my pants all the time.
koala_cola ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy there, dirty dick
shitterplug ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:19:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever had a particularly 'juicy' fart that you can feel has changed the moisture content of your boxers a little? I definitely don't want that happening to my pants...
koala_cola ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:20:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....yes
GA_Thrawn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then that answers your question. Plus with the age if using our phones on the toilet, people are no longer cleaning their assholes as well as they think. No one wants only one layer between them and your dirty bum. Wear underwear dude. Even more so if you live in the south and just walking from your car to your office is enough to get schweaty balls
koala_cola ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chill out man I just wanted to call someone dirty dick
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:23:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
AvesAvi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather all my ball sweat go in my underwear so they somewhat help trap the odor and don't soak my pants' crotch.
Oh, and in case they ever rip my dick won't flop out.
FuzzySquirrelNuts ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 15:08:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once drank a bunch of saline and it helped my testicals sweat less.
shitterplug ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:23:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or he works somewhere with no air conditioning. Like myself. I'm a welder in SC. At the end of the day, my boxers are soaked with ball sweat.
GA_Thrawn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never lived in the south I see
AvesAvi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine only do when I'm working in the sun. Don't forget chafing if you do a lot of physical activity and your dick is rubbing against your pants for 8 hours.
Bigfrostynugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I do physical work for a living. Everything about me is dirty by the end of the day, not just my dick.
paper_noose ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 13:34:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underwear is overrated man. Just buy comfortable pants and you'll never be restricted again!
GA_Thrawn ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:52:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until something like this happens. Plus enough people don't wipe their ass well enough, so please continue wearing underwear guys
themojomike ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:34:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wiping is for savages. Civilized people wash with water.
That_Othr_Guy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The future people both wipe and wash
sixxis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, they use 3 sea shells (Demolition Man reference)
woodmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really gets the imagination going. I'm so curious to know how seashells would be used.
MintyTruffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever used your tongue to scrape yogurt off the lid? Same concept, but with sea shells and feces.
woodmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But like, which end do you use? The sharp hollow end to scoop it all into, or the spiral end while holding it with your fingers inside? Do you twist it while "scraping"?
MIERDAPORQUE ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:25:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well swing low sweet chariot!
auhauhihc ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:13:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love it. Wish someone would do a zoomed in shot in slow motion with Miley Cyrus swinging in like a wrecking ball on his nut sack.
ThisManDoesTheReddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might break the internet
auhauhihc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it would be fantastic
Sighnal ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 13:34:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once tried to edit that gif so that when his pants rip open, a giant upvote swings out.
Sour_Badger ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:35:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably tough with all the movement huh?
Sighnal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and it's mostly out of frame and all that.
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ohhhh that would be dank af
letsgetblitzed ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:15:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahaaaa i forgot about this. nothing will be this funny ever again
Codeshark ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 12:46:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you forget about it again ๐ค
Firecracker500 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:49:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forget about what?
Death_Star_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:09:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay swans
Aliquis95 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:11:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ญ
Sour_Badger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The infinite loop has started.
tristyntrine ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:07:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved cause cute guy + penis = ?!?
Gabbster19 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:44:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at the post office and I should not be laughing this hard, damn you.
Palladog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:56:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adding this comment to my saved
JustHereToConfirmIt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:27:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed for real
Less-Flawless ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:25:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna save this for later
_madlibs_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:08:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who was at that party, favorite gif ever
Andrejcc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:50:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved your comment lmao!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That looks like Henry G
Anniedoesthat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy did it way better than Janet Jackson, all of it.
M3rwin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scared my wife laughing, laughed until I cried. Thank you.
ThisManDoesTheReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome. Apologies to your wife for me.
agumonkey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:27:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Lenny Kravitz plagiarized this dude
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:00:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
agumonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kravitz can compensate as much as he wants though
RockitMane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:14:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That pelvic ring I guess...
reciprocal_space ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:48:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you get for buying a cheap suit. Never skimp on dat thread count.
Newbert101 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:25:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was he expecting? Large dick, tight pants, and squats never ever mix.
CoffeeDogs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His moves are a little bit cocky for me.
13RockyRaccoon13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buh-buh-BOOM
Lasercatfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pulled a Lenny Kravitz!
shark_monkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit isn't Reddit without seeing someone's junk
minibabybuu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just died omg, so worth opening at work
pugwalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif is from my college. A fucking classic.
5centwings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that move is his finisher.
LikeChicagoWinds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did Amanda remember!?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐คฃ๐คฃ
Caraddict49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot about this video and how funny is is
lilly_willy ยท 2748 points ยท Posted at 12:34:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead Chicken with Old Milk
TheGreatZarquon ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had me laughing right off the bat with "pan lotion."
[deleted] ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:44:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure Italian water is wine.
ArmyOfMemes ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:51:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's French water.
masasuka ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:04:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was tomato sauce...
ZEINthesalvaged ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 14:51:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hansel & Gretel GPS.
LOL!
pickelater ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:06:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my favorite one :)
iWizardB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:17 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the only one I didn't get. Please explain.
pickelater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:04 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the children's story, they leave a trail of bread crumbs so someone can find them
iWizardB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:06 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LoL. Awesome use in the gif then. :)
lolzidop ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:41:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit...
;_;
J4Seriously ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:58:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the soggiest chicken parmesan recipe I've ever seen.
mrmilf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:01:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuckin oath! its not meant to be a bowl of tomato soup with a couple of schnitties floating in it..
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:34:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Inssight ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh crap, really? Everyone I know I including myself says parma, what country are you in?
taybon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:35:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Australia
Inssight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:38:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps it's a state thing, I'm in Vic and haven't heard it called a parmi before.
taybon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:41:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately there are other Victorians that are silly and don't see it our way
mrmilf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
parmo?
Capissen38 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:23:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of sentient sandwich.
yorba53 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:45:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking You Suck at Cooking
karottenbaum_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:19:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onion's on 350
OEMcatballs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
salt and pepper pepper pepper
FunyunCreme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use you Wangjangler...
Yartinstein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember BMO sounding so creepy...
rastanator ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:41:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made this tonight using that video as a guide lol https://imgur.com/gallery/tCiHx
lilly_willy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That looks as good as the video!
rastanator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw your post today and my next thought was "I need this inside of me".
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:31:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lilly_willy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BURN IN HELL (eternity)
Zarlem ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:07:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They completely missed the chance to say "Make the sky fall" instead of "make it chicken pancake"
Jathom ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great. Now I'm entertained AND hungry!
RufusStJames ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost it at Italian Water
whosthedoginthisscen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:06:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead Chick with Old Milk makes me think of that pizza post. Half bread no pepperoni or something?
lilly_willy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:07:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about half bread no pepperoni but I know the none pizza with left beef post. Idk if thats the one you're thinking of.
whosthedoginthisscen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:24:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YES. Thank you, that was going to nag at me. None pizza, left beef.
Physgun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:56:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First one to make me laugh out loud.
Quachyyy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:43:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That person put like a microgram of salt and pepper wtf
BlobDaBuilder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:31:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cow Rice"
Super_Zac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably going to actually make this though
midnightrider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting to save dead chicken in old milk
lea_firebender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost it at "Hansel and Gretel GPS"
botlow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found that rather enjoyable to watch.
pascontent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious. Thanks for the share!
mightbefact ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:34:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this in Thor's voice.
Spikebob21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol thanks
Aching_Ant ยท 4117 points ยท Posted at 12:09:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thing. (Slightly nsfw?)
nixaw ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 15:01:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting in a silent coupe in a train. Trying very hard not to laugh like a donkey.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:01:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BillyDa59 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A government is being overthrown on the train he's riding but he just wants to read reddit.
(diff word, I know)
JackoKill ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:44:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A CONDUCTOR PERSON I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
MachoManShark ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:47:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
JackoKill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:48:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memes gotta meme
nixaw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:20:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Central Europe. Was hesitant, but decided not to check. What a mistake. Because when I post something without checking it get 100 upvotes, but when I do check - 0 upvotes. Karma is a bitch
Summerie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In which country do they quote the entire comment that they're responding to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He knows what he said.
[deleted] ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 13:42:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RyghtHandMan ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 16:08:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the dirt on it suggests that they just found it somewhere and started playing with it
maciozo ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 16:11:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That just makes it worse
keeko85 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 16:27:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might not be dirt.
MerlinTrismegistus ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:06:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
fantasyoutsider ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:03:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably dirt from the prior attempts
iSpotix ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:45:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a YouTube channel. I'll try to find it. They're all titled something like "10/100/1000 subscriber special". Each one is just getting it to stick on some weird surface.
https://youtu.be/i5cgzXpZMZU
Not sure if it's the same guy or not, same category if you're into this kinda thing and want more though.
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe that wasn't the first time they dropped it, just the best time.
RyghtHandMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or, even more likely, it's soot buildup after using it fast enough to burn it
CrouchingTortoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To me it suggests that they've tried multiple times and it kept falling on the concrete and roof without sticking
Ruddose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it speaks more to the failed attempts. I highly doubt they got this on the first shot.
TinctureOfBadass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, where else would you play with it?
Yoshilicious ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 16:15:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's even better with sound
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:58:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pft*
LectricVersion ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better with sound? It's bloody essential with sound.
booft....phaapppppp
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:39:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost creepy that there's no laughter or anything.
schammy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:24:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, how could you not erupt with laughter if you were there witnessing this miracle?
GameOnTheWay ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:02:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I click this while riding the train... made me lol pretty hard!
how_you_doinn ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:23:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I click this while riding the train... made me pretty hard lol!
DataPigeon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:57:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Jacked_Veiny_Balls ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ0CVYUp-gE
slpater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get why this is so funny to me but I'm fucking crying laughing
benji-21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:43:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure either. I think it's the majestic flight of the dick as it spins through the air like a throwing axe.
If you figure it out, please let me know.
polymetric_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:19:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why are so many people on trains right now
PapalDudeMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a legend, thank you for gracing my life with this!
manixus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly?
Themikexx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many questions, initially, why on a playground?
Radi0ActivSquid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was a subreddit for doing stupid shit with dildos. It's just so funny.
benji-21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be the change you wish to see in the world. ๐ค๐ป
Venlafaxine_And_Cats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you end up a sexual offender.
RadiantPumpkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy stole the idea from my friend. Right down to the zoom in at the end. This is his YouTube channel with all his videos that got famous on r/youtubehaiku
adudeguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was honestly surprised when I saw this on the front page. It just wasn't very funny to me.
sweatymonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally stuck the landing.
KeeperofAmmut7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My hubby just tried to look over my shoulder at what I was PMSLing about.
sEntientUnderwear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoutout to /r/mildlypenis
gatepoet ยท 1403 points ยท Posted at 12:16:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin. Definitively Kevin.
z3r0f14m3 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:04:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/StoriesAboutKevin
br1nk1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:25:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
subbed, thanks!
TitanGodKing ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:02:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a mix between Forrest Gump and the cockroach pretending to be a person from Men in Black
extremepants ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, how did his parents even figure out how to breed?
Ghitre27 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:31:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life, uh, finds a way.
TerrainIII ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:58:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone get it over with already and link it (I can't, on mobile)
klaxterran ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my boss is named kevin so i just imagined him doing all that stuff
LeFishyyy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get the feeling this kid is actually autistic, but then im still confused about the parents.
jennamariebee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like one of the books in the childrens' series "The Stupids".
lauchs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that im the bathroom, with a coworker shitting next to me. I tried not laughing amd holding it in and just realized it sounded like I was crying or dying.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If not just a story, I wonder if this took place in Flint, and he and his parents had severe lead poisoning.
Alek-Houdini ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, definately Kevin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they so dumb how can they afford a trip to Nassau?
fedloveguns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking kevin
xorcon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:37 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at the part when his family went to vacation and forgot their luggage. This whole story reminds me of that Spongebob episode where Patrick meets his parents and they're like "Oh that's right, we don't even have a son!"
OhShitWhatUp ยท 2366 points ยท Posted at 09:56:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay Silence SFW
Edit: Context for those who are interested.
xahhfink6 ยท 968 points ยท Posted at 13:03:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See I thought you were gonna link this: https://m.imgur.com/gallery/DwvKt
Cabotju ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 14:46:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom waits pretending to be 8 dogs lmao
PerplexedGamer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:49:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, that's just most of Tom's stuff since Mule Variations.
googolplexy ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:36:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hilarious and strangely well written.
InsaneImmortal ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:58:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
-A Thursty Earthquake
xahhfink6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this was in my saved so I was excited thinking someone had the same post saved.
The rest of my saved is mostly political references and pictures of ridiculously large horses.
TheRiot21 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:21:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that is one of the best reads in this thread.
OhShitWhatUp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:07:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha that was a good chuckle
imfromoverseas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.
itwashimmusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sam sweetmilk is also an amazing animated show that is on its way to development
RaPlD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying
Coolfuckingname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that.
Now i have a reason to join twitter and the twits: SamSweetmilk.
DV_shitty_music ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats some /r/stanisms material right there.
xahhfink6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool sub, I just x-posted there!
pcopley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sweet jesus
srslyhow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was having a terrible few months until I read this.
Thank you.
Equitaurus ยท 644 points ยท Posted at 11:54:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That ones better with context
NachoSport ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 13:56:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god, young jodie foster sounds so much like adult jodie foster its crazy
Summerie ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:55:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's like they could be related!
OhShitWhatUp ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 11:57:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those who truly know....know
agumonkey ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:36:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She knew
pgsgdd ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 13:25:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Jodie Foster is a lesbian I feel like I should've known that by now
veggiter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, and it's so obvious when I think about it.
Captain_Hampockets ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 13:24:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was 17 in that interview. She seems more put together and mature than I do, and I'm 43.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:06:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get too close you'll get a Mace-ful.
Towerss ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:35:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jealous of the charisma you get from working in the entertainment industry. Entertainers never feel socially pressured, they talk to countless people every day, all types of people at that, and they're constantly studying and watching social cues and (as far as actors goes) experimenting with behavior as part of their acting career.
rickyhatespeas ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very broad generalization and many actors face depression and anxiety since they're mental illnesses. for example, Harrison Ford noticeably has a hard time in interviews and large events like awards.
DeltaVZerda ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:57:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also has a hard time landing on the correct piece of pavement.
Towerss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean it like that. I meant you get a LOT of people skills in a business like that. I could only dream of being as eloquent as her at that age.
Anderkent ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:02:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha what?
QuirkySmartass ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:01:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is the conversation leading up to this
432wonderful ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 11:51:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one after Moonlight now (from tumblr.)
speech-debate ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the raised eyebrows after the reporter says "fella" that get me.
HierarchofSealand ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cough phrasing!
OhShitWhatUp ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:59:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The neutral 'somebody' as well.
And its often said even some advanced male humans can't pick up the signs of this answer.
Comakip ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:56:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the way she talks. What's that accent?
OhShitWhatUp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think she was born in CA. but she sounds a little southern. It is kinda unique.
kblkbl165 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:12:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude, she's beautiful.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:45:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/kidswithadultvoices
poop_in_my_coffee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god she's just perfect - her voice, her accent, her look, her attitude. Everything.
lea_firebender ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so funny that now that we know she's gay it was so obvious in the video, but they had no clue
Mattxy8 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:52:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between gay silence and regular silence?
Turbo_MechE ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 12:07:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I remember correctly, this is much better with context. A reporter had just asked if she had a boyfriend or of she was interested in any boys. But we know now that she's a lesbian
recastic ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:08:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's gayer
youuselesslesbian ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:22:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jodie Foster
Pls_no_steal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:37:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's gay
Cheesedoodlerrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The interviewer is asking a young Jodi Foster what kind of boys she likes.
In hindsight, she's gay.
OhShitWhatUp ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 11:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay silence is humorous and entertaining, normal silence is kinda boring
StochasticOoze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy the context of people in the 70s all being fashion disasters.
OhShitWhatUp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I hope flared trousers of the 70's not circles back around as a fashion.
catipillar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
OhShitWhatUp ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 12:48:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She knew she was gay. Only later did we know. she was just indirectly answering the question.
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me or does she remind you of that River Phoenix interview. Then again, I see this same pattern a lot in people who grew up before me.
LittleFlower3292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:40 on December 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shes fucking hot
Uritaniun ยท 627 points ยท Posted at 14:16:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little Pokรฉmon comic that always bring a tear to my eye.
MyWordIsBond ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 17:31:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know anything about Pokรฉmon and have no clue what's going on?
RepostFromLastMonth ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 18:04:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end, the father is a Ditto, which can basically shapeshift. So all of the Pokemon you see raising/protecting Charizard the entire time was the same Ditto.
liekwaht ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 20:06:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went back and saw the eyes! Thanks
SharkTonic9 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:01:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the baby was adopted by ditto because it's mother died before it hatched
lorence_flawrence ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 21:06:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more taking off the fact that you can breed starter pokemons like charmander using a female starter and a male ditto. Since you can't catch a charmander or a bulbasaur in the wild, the only way to do so is to use a ditto.
So the ditto didn't adopt it, it's actually its biological father.
Night_Eye ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:40:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can breed starters using their egg groups, just like all pokemon that can breed normally - generally 'monster' group, and the starter doesn't have to be female if you use a ditto - having a female starter is preferable because you have the option to get children pokemon that are the same species (for lack of a better word) as the mother. Ditto's belong to a special egg group that can breed with anything except (most) legendaries and pokemon that can't breed. And ditto's have no gender - but yes, the ditto is the biological father.
metaltrite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know dittos are creepy and shit, but a dad doesn't "adopt" their own kid...
MentalNinj4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to mention the mother of the family is probably a Nosepass
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MentalNinj4 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:14:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad joke. She's just a tombstone
ofnw ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 19:32:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/RepostFromLastMonth posted, the father is the ditto. He can shapeshift into any pokemon and does so to train his charmander child and raise him.
It's implied that the mother is a Charizard since dittos can breed with any other pokemons. The Charizard mother died, and the ditto father stuck around to raise little charmander, teaching him all the different skills from these different pokemons. Although the ditto obviously looks different from the baby charmander, he still raises him and is beside him throughout all the years, although the mother is dead
Dualmonkey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:56:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And just to add to the other comments.
In the games there is usually a day care center where you can leave your pokemon to be looked after. If you leave a male and female of a species they will breed while they're there. There are particular benefits or reasons for breeding.
Ditto is a unique, genderless, pokemon that can transform into any other pokemon it sees.
If you leave any breedable pokemon and a ditto they will also breed. Ditto is the other parent.
So whenever people are breeding it's super easy as long as you have 1 ditto.
effegenio ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:21:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The feels!
SuperSaiyanRoseGoku ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:32:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not crying! You're crying!
JustfcknHarley ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did not expect so many tears, you said there would just be one. Q_Q
robocpf1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you do this to meeee
sammyslug13 ยท 11728 points ยท Posted at 10:08:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all hail dog
[1][1]
Recent Evidence Suggests Jesus Was a Little Husky
Sauce: National Geographic
BonkeyKongCountry ยท 2788 points ยท Posted at 12:14:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a movie production company intro, right?
Spirit_Theory ยท 3932 points ยท Posted at 12:54:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting for it to freeze, turn black and white, and the text "Dog Running On Lake Productions" to appear.
ffffunk ยท 5635 points ยท Posted at 14:18:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there you go. https://streamable.com/p8e53
[1]edit: Guys, gold, thrice, seriously? Stop it, you will get me hooked on this!
[1]
dog
Daahkness ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 15:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:00:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThePyroPython ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be a subreddit. r/vanitycardedgifs
wraithscelus ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 15:51:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gave me unimaginable joy.
soaliar ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:20:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of "Aviary films": https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/64htbv/i_took_the_movie_production_intro_of_the_gif_of/
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:43:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best moments I've seen on reddit recently outside of /r/place
TrynaSleep ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:22:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be "Doggone Water Productions" lol
dave-martin ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:34:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing the lord's work ๐
vvntn ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:50:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's doing Dog's work.
herculesmrb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:17:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's just a little dyslexic
finelytunedwalnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:55 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing dog's bork.
Spirit_Theory ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:54:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
MVHReddit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:01:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did a good job.
off-hand ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:14:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they're good jobs Brent
nachog2003 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:01:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is glorious. Would look better in 21:9 with the black bars though.
tucumano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, someone should add a fanfare.
corsair238 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:09:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuckensaved.gif
alexOJ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favorite saved thing.
DomoVahkiin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful.
divbazinga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made my day.thank you
PM_ME_CAKE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit's been so good with OC recently. Yesterday we had the duck quacks replaced with honks over on /r/nottheonion and now this.
Zackattack213 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like it's time to start your own studio.
bossmcsauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
too early. needs the cross into the brighter part of the sunset. still pretty good. I'd like to see it fad to black background and a little sparkle/lens flare type deal make the outline of the dog shimmer briefly. but that's just me.
whitestguyuknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I just thought it was a bit too early too. Like wait until after it looks like the dog stops kicking up water and making ripples
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please just become a novelty. I actually beg you. You can be the great ffffunk, and you can grant peoples' .gif wishes; like /u/Shitty_watercolour once did, and provide entertainment, like /u/Poem_for_your_sprog.
All the while! Building a gigantic cache of .gifs that slowly, over time, will lose context online and hopefully themselves be turned into something else! Phew.
At any rate, quality .gifsmanship.
0xKiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you do this? I'm in awe
ffffunk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:24:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really wasn't that complicated. I used Adobe After Effects, threw the movie clip in, slowed it down to a halt at the right moment, keyframed (automated) some filters that faded the image to black & white while at the same time fading the image out and fading in the black image of the dog that I had traced by hand over the video still image. Add some text, render, export, upload. And then be amazed at how the internet can react to ten minutes of procrastinating at work.
cheeseburgerer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much! I always wonder how does those hilarious gifs and clips are made but am totally clueless. I will try this one day!
Pls_No_Ban ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
absolutely amazing
redarxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking perfect
henrywrover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You deserve all the gold you get my man
JestersHat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to see how you made this
jchabotte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be paired with the music from the Tri-star unicorn intro!
TheSandbagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite
whitestguyuknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This could become a subreddit. I could seriously see this working
BowlesOnParade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be my answer the next time this thread comes up.
whenthethingscollide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this comment so I can post it next time this question gets asked
630-592-8928 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did this life with a seagull on a light post. I'll try and find it.
EDIT that was easy
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/64h08g/i_took_the_gif_of_the_bird_landing_on_the_street/
GandalfTheUltraViole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you met /u/yoinkie2013?
jinhong91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if there is a subreddit for this?
It's ridiculously funny for me.
Ben_Dover23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:50 on July 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I always wondered why they called it dog on the water productions.
Mixed_Opinions_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:07 on November 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess this is the best thing in my saved section now
HashtagTJ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You realise people can SEE how many times you get gilded, you really don't have to throw up an edit to tell everyone
wetsockpuppet ยท 656 points ยท Posted at 13:09:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catchy name.
WarGrizzly ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been "LakeDog Productions"
Harsel ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:04:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DROLP?
wetsockpuppet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:06:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DROLP
simonthepimon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please complete that gif and have it on the bosses desk by Friday
sheepfreedom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And by Friday I mean EOD today.
Valeness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And by EOD today I mean before lunch.
Dittro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And by before lunch I mean now
SinisterKid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:10:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog Running Ontop Of Lake
D.R.O.O.L
DangerMacAwesome ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Who's a Good Buoyancy Films"
WrongPeninsula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lakerunner Prodogtions
ballercrantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats where the lightning hits the tree!
Captainsteve345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Lakeia is more fitting
vvntn ยท 364 points ยท Posted at 13:12:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Productions" is so 2002
It's just "Dog Running on Lake" now.
daiwilly ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:36:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DROL inc.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:50:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hihi hij zei poep
HumansWillComeForYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ik rol op de vloer laggend.
Hoenderboude ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:35:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in Afrikaans :D
99919 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How droll.
JamesLLL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like:
d r o l
PrivateCaboose ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:13:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Running On" is so 2012
It's just "Dog Lake" now.
vvntn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:24:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's 2017 ffs, you need to dial up the irony/quirkiness.
"Wet Dog" it is.
pandymic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:47:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โโโโ
DOG
LAKE
โพโพโพโพ
Sage296 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:41:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the dog can be completely irrelevant
"Sky Lake"
Tommix11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog Running On Opaque Lake - DROOL
dtlv5813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
21st Century Canine Productions
CptnStarkos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOGTM
metallic sound
Ademptio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It needs to be more hipster than that. How about DOG + LAKE
ThisIsAShortUsername ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:17:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Family guy did it
Spider_Dude ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:34:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Fucking. Time. I watch a movie I can't un-hear Peters enthusiasm turn into disappointment.
"Aww"
Elgin_McQueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it totally sticks in my head now.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:38:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now that seems intentionally misleading.
NazzerDawk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:41:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant family guy joke:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2DMvxRtnhY
sssimasnek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dont forget the perspective rotation
cogenix ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:10:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just Paramount pictures with a zoom-in on the mountain.
-kindakrazy- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reflection Studios
Vaprus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog Running on Open Lake! Dog or God?
Mubber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/EquatorialScaredAmericanrobin
TradeSex4Potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about
"Goodboye"
RedditOneDoesHow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dog running lake on productions"
FTFY
mAssEffectdriven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doggone Lake Pictures
jsmalls567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Run Dog productions
WrongPeninsula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lakerunner Prodogtions
LiamPlaysWhatever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doggone Lake Creative
yust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your wish is my command.
Tommix11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the wizards in /r/highqualitygifs should do an intro like that!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:59 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I expected it to zoom out slightly, fade the picture and give it that brownish old picture look, and from there on its the same.
Malfuncti0n ยท 378 points ยท Posted at 13:07:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/vI7JDTlixb8?t=25
FlusteredByBoobs ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 13:47:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simpsons did it first.
Does it apply? I don't know Simpsons well enough to know. Does anyone know?
CSI_Tech_Dept ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:16:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clip or GTFO :)
georgikhi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's Baloo, one of the epic dogs of the epic adventurers and mountaineers Taylor Rees and Renan Ozturk: https://www.instagram.com/baloointhewild/?hl=en
DirtayDane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit I thought the exact same thing. I was waiting for some guys logo to show up
ffffunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/p8e53
Scoumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not https://www.instagram.com/renan_ozturk/
rcdubbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chalmskin
Milleuros ยท 465 points ยท Posted at 12:19:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck this is truly epic
Dannytheconfused ยท 614 points ยท Posted at 13:10:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could make a religion out of this.
MrQuickLine ยท 471 points ยท Posted at 13:13:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No don't
DJRockstar1 ยท 339 points ยท Posted at 13:47:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โซ How 'bout we do anyway โซ
thatdude6566 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:00:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โซ The sun is a deadly lazer โซ
Generic-username427 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:32:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So let's hire a samurai
zjl539 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:02:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rich people hired samurai
Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai
SpaghettiMonster01 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:54:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not anymore there's a blanket
xanfire1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched that for the first time a few hours ago. spooky
CarlSag ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yesss. Pls let his videos become meme material!
TheEpicTurban ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed he boat then, when the video came out /r/memeeconomy and /r/dankmemes went crazy
bossmcsauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and then they conquered the pacific.
yocourage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well dog is god spelled backwards..
intrepidsteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes do
HateCopyPastComments ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:46:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog Bless America.
No_Im_Sharticus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And nobody else!
karnathe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No don't.
Actually do
The_Meatyboosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but you could make a religion out of anything
ickykarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/subscribe
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There already is. Jesus said he was coming back, he didn't specify whether he would take human form.
630-592-8928 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, no.
slyweazal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The closest I've seen to heaven yet
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fucking suicune!
hobocactus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:55:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can practically hear the Chariots of Fire theme playing in the background.
Wooshception ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Moby's Everloving.
Skorne13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5
Edit: But for reals, Everloving does actually fit this perfectly.
PM_ME_YUR_BIG_SECRET ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually a little surprised when it didn't.
Aliwet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:25:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Simba in dog form.
PairOfMonocles2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:12:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That the salt flats west of SLC? Wherever it is thatโs a great one.
j_la ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
G O D B O Y E
yaronest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:13:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a Shaman using Ghost Wolf + Water Walking in WoW.
Triumph807 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey this is Salt Lake! They actually have problems with the occasional fighter pilot crashing into the ground in training dogfights. About once every decade or so. The reflection is so good they confuse the sky and ground and pull down.
WolfThawra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the few things I feel like I should really see in person one day to properly appreciate it...
marshsmellow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Majestic as fuck.
thewalrus532 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks like this belongs in the kanye bound 2 music video
NebulousTranscendent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my dog
specialed101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With Chariots of Fire theme
courtesy of /u/Dragonisop and /u/RimmyDownunder from this thread
RimmyDownunder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzwPPJ15j2A
I remember when that was posted. I think I made it slightly more epic.
Nanaki__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play this whilst watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSav51fVlKU
IAmA_Risky_Click_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it actually really bad to do that when the salt flats are wet?
rajasekarcmr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this now.
-pm_me_your_tits_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally thought he was gonna fall in at the end
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love that NatGeo Sauce.
HelloNPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just me that was expecting like a bolt of lightning to rip through the skies above him?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as I saw this "Chariots of Fire" started playing in my head.
Nth-Degree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dogs (there are two dogs in the gif if you look closely).
Celdamaged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is now in my saved section as well.
PM_YOUR_GSTRING_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that's a cool dog!
AgitatedDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why thank you
LordIFG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
awesome
The_clean_account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suicune
ayojamface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video was possible because the earth is flat.
ArchbishopNoodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so majestic
jack_the_beagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Majestic
DextrosKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting for the dog to trip and eat shit or something, but instead was pleasantly surprised by a very beautiful scene.
Crandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be set to Chariots of Fire.
natek11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful.
KurtKronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
serious source? What is that heavenly location? How is it so deserted?
UpUpDnDnLRLRBA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, although there are similar places in Bolivia and Chile (probably more elsewhere as well) It's deserted because it's... a desert...
quickhakker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
half speed is so damn magestic
Dirkinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like watching heaven or something
Dave_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Dog!
Toms42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was waiting for the chase helicopter to show up shooting at the dog.
randoogle_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonneville Salt Flats?
SgtBrowncoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like the evaporation ponds near Stansbury Island in Utah.
MattDesertDemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a pokemon?
Chrome_Quartz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain this please?
Weewa20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://instagram.com/baloointhewild
I think... owners are amazing photographers.
Reversevagina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must be the Chilean salt flats or smh
bogotm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus barking Christ!
brytemin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of Simba running back home when he hears the news that Scar is ruling Pride Rock.
circuit_brain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's majestic AF
Nicekicksbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I downloaded it the first time I saw it ๐
olivelucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else expecting the dog to face plant?
USBrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some sensual Spanish music with chimes n shit is playing on the bus as I'm watching this. Fits beautifully.
MathCrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is @baloointhewild it's the famous climber Renan Ozarks pup.
hypertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God is dog
ben123111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love variety of this question. I went from a story about a man running from home and being reunited with a friend after years and years to "all hail dog"
The_WA_Remembers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this just ice with water on or is the dog the second coming?
dthoma81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lord is my Shepard?
chumly143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That dog is fucking happy he can't even handle it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doggy Jesus lives!!
VoiceofLou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it coincidence this hit the front page today?
General_C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most majestic gif I've ever seen.
GruntingTurnip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:30 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Majestic as fuck.
Bl4nkface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is not that impressive any more.
saarlac ยท 4442 points ยท Posted at 12:47:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/Vz9ODbV.gifv
johnny_mcnuggets ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 14:31:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to ask for the video.
mothmanex ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 13:51:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is this from?
lieguy1230 ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 14:04:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan
Bokaj01 ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 14:30:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actual answer: it's from an anime called kiniro mosaic
Cabotju ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:45:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there actual translations for it though?
Bokaj01 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 14:57:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah it's a scene from the first episode if i'm not mistaken and i think the japanese girl just mostly talks about japanese food and how pretty japan is and whatnot but then again my japanese is lacking and it's been a while since i've watched this.
monstercake ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:06:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she does. Lots of food talk.
Wherearemylegs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:53:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can read Japanese decently. In this gif, at least, she keeps talking in circles about rice, ramen, and okonomiyaki.
monstercake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah definitely caught that she was repeating a lot of the same stuff. Subtitles went a little too fast for me to fully grasp though, my speed reading isn't great.
Wherearemylegs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saw that someone else posted that it's the lyrics to Gohan Wa Okazu by K-On!
Mocha_Bean ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:32:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you'd be hard pressed to find any anime without English subtitles.
But in case you're wondering, that's not the actual dialogue of the scene. What she said was something more along the lines of "I want to visit Japan some day."
J4Seriously ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:55:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never really struck me how hard anime translators look for every little obscure bit of thing. I'm a little impressed in retrospect.
p1-o2 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR Subtitle groups are fascinating and do so much work.
Jobs generally include:
As somebody who used to work for subtitle groups, it's an incredible amount of work. These people are posted like bloodhounds ready for the show to air with specialized technology used to rip the stream (either web or broadcast).
At this point if you don't have a specific person who rips the stream on your behalf, then you are scouring the Japanese darknets and P2P networks looking for a copy of it.
The copy is given to the encoder who then makes a really shitty, super compressed copy of it (think 360p or less). This is then given out to the translator and the timer.
The timer will mark everywhere there is speech and then adjust those timings so that they align with keyframes in the video and follow style rules. If you aren't sure what this means, then pay attention to the subtitles next time you're watching anime. If a sentence ends before the camera (in the anime) cuts, then the subtitles usually stay on screen until the cut happens if it's within ~300ms or less. Also if a sentence is broken up into multiple subtitles then they should be seamless, appearing one after the other with no gaps. There are all sorts of rules out there for 'beautiful' subtitles which are far easier to keep track of and more pleasant to read.
The editor receives the translator copy and begins carefully localizing and adapting the language. The degree of localization depends on the subtitle group, and there are tons of variations out there. Some groups will offer explanations for the jokes at the top of the screen when the content contains puns or Japanese jokes that other people wouldn't understand.
Then all of this gets put together (timings, edits) and placed on the encoder's high quality version of the video file. It goes through quality checking and then has the After Effects karaoke (opening, ending) applied to the video... etc... etc... before released to the public.
In all, it could easily take 8-12 hours to release a 25 minute episode depending on the speed of your group as a whole. They do this for fun, for free, because they love it. Crazy mofos.
jamsrobots ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:08:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Datebayo was my favorite, not just because they are the reason Naruto is such success here in the US but also their integrity as a company, instantly dropping any anime so long as they were asked to do so. Never a fight and never a pirate. I'm sure that upset a lot of viewers when crunchy roll took over Naruto subbing with their subpar translations, poor timing, subscription based viewing and censoring/recoloring of blood. Idc that crunchy roll sucked, I'm only grateful that Datebayo was so awesome.
p1-o2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I think it's hilarious that official subtitles often have poor timing and typos. A good timer can get a perfect episode done in under an hour.
I'm also grateful for Datebayo. :)
MeowMixDeliveryGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:41 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome! I never realized so much went into it.
Mocha_Bean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kiniro Mosaic was pretty popular; it got a second season. And pretty much every anime is subtitled within hours of it airing on TV in Japan.
However, Sentai Filmworks (the company who licensed Kiniro Mosaic for North American release) hasn't produced an English dub for the show yet.
J4Seriously ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're pretty expedient on those OVAs, ONAs and student projects as well.
Mocha_Bean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I figure the subtitles are usually coming officially from the distributors themselves, in this case, maybe Sentai Filmworks (as I mentioned in the edit of of my last comment).
Xmir ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:22:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to the Japanese in the gif; it's the lyrics to Gohan wa Okazu from K-On. But the actual scene from the show has English subtitles, yeah.
DeadNotSleeping1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too want to know this.
imchelsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of talk about rice, ramen and udon being awesome
hikarucon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Japanese is actually quoting a song "Gohan wa Okazu" from an anime called K-on
Sunnynotcloudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:20 on July 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the lyrics to the k-on song ใใฏใใฏใใใ
Nils878 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:22:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone who wonders, he is mainly speaking about food. Talking about ramen, and how he prefers rice to bread. I'd do a full translation, but a lot of what he says is repetitive and not really interesting.
DarthSomeGuy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:11:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's a girl.
Nils878 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I was just reading what it said in the subtitles. I didn't listen to it and thought it was a boy.
jamesjett ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:47:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also the lyrics to a song from the anime K-On!!! Gohan wa Okazu, pretty dope
Nils878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. Haven't watched K-On, but that would explain why it sounds kind of weird and repetitiveโlyrics do sound weird if you speak with them.
AdaGirl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:43:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/UXnNpu5M9vg?t=5s
Cabotju ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this made me smile. What's this from?
Nick-O-Chet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:57:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kiniro Mosaic
catbro89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:51:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/anime_irl
ComedianEsq ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:14:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
QUICK SAY SOMETHING IN MOONSPEAK!
Uh... Comenasai.
Tommy2255 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 15:42:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, when we finally have a moon colony up and running we need to make sure Japan gets first dibs just to justify this stupid joke.
A_Mouse_In_Da_House ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 16:00:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah mate. America first, then japan.
joshieboy96-17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bayonettes for days?
ComedianEsq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bayonets for days.
joshieboy96-17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya filthy protestant fuckbucket
ComedianEsq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Behind the scenes look at Alexander Anderson's script.
joshieboy96-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ihs not the boondock saints Ah spehnt al weehk comin up wiht it masylf
Millillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dostedt.
IrrelevantLeprechaun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The anime is KINMOZA, or Kiniro Mosaic. Karen is the blonde who supposedly moved to Japan from England. And is coincidentally voice acted by a Japanese woman who cannot speak English.
GiveMeChoko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean ironically?
SovietMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karen is the other blonde btw.
Also best girl <3
nosoulginga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me smile
578_Sex_Machine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
pm_me_ur_fav_gif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this could be my new favorite gif
Mister_Greane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I got was that rice was mentioned a fair amount.
TaffWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy that bed spread
lea_firebender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking "I don't speak Japanese" and then the end.
longhorn2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew that was gonna happen
DrOffice ยท 1784 points ยท Posted at 12:58:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Russian woman flying down a mountain in a wingsuit
icp1994 ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 15:20:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haters gonna say this is fake
kartoffelwaffel ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:25:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pegs are a nice touch
anakin_is_a_bitch ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:16:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that eagle tho
kataklysmos_ ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:18:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The very best part about the eagle is that whoever made it didn't even push it all the way offscreen. You can see the tip of its wing flapping through the entire thing.
Nerfi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eagles can hover, dude.
TheMightyChoochine ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:32:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future generations are going to be so baffled by our entertainment.
WowDoge7 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:32:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did she dead?
rpikulik ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:03:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bird is the best part of this gif
THEinORY ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:19:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the clothespins and binderclips holding the wings on
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow she's a pro.
zschuessler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not joking, had on a Jane's Addiction playlist when I pressed play. Once she turned to go down the mountain, this part of the song came on:
https://youtu.be/1kAIMlISHhU?t=26s
This really made the gif for me.
MisterQuiggles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:58:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the mixture of paper clips and the laundry clips lol
Zonked8 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:46:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This should be higher.
420N1CKN4M3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:04:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ever say that during sex!
bomstik ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อก ยฐ)
_Goose_ ยท 16899 points ยท Posted at 10:06:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cup noodle
Death_proofer ยท 3137 points ยท Posted at 11:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, WTF is happening?
_Goose_ ยท 3869 points ยท Posted at 11:49:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan is happening.
agumonkey ยท 2073 points ยท Posted at 12:26:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UK : hold my tea
nocontroll ยท 443 points ยท Posted at 12:47:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The idea that he has a bottle of water and a seat is the most amazing thing about this video.
Flobarooner ยท 254 points ยท Posted at 15:27:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a registered politician. He represents an official political party.
VelourFogg ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 15:37:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And gets votes!
KingNoodleWalrus ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:46:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could make a religion out of this!
RPGX400 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:38:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Praise Be๐๐ฃ
marysue4you ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
let me guess the monster raving loonies right?
Flobarooner ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:04:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, he represents the Gremloids. The Monster Raving Loonies are just the most famous of many weird and wonderful "political" parties.
If you go here, hit "parties" and scroll down to "Other parties" you'll see list of some of them, with links to their websites.
The best are the Church of the Militant Elvis and The Space Navies. They're all batshit crazy.
ThePyroPython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not forget the "I want to drop a blancmange down Christopher Biggins' Y-fronts" party. Or the Party Party.
therealadamaust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:09 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pirate Party is an actual good party.
Falgscccp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he have a subreddit?
Teekeks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has a political party.
Mightymushroom1 ยท 251 points ยท Posted at 12:44:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buckethead for PM
jefferlewpew ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:13:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining him actually winning the election makes me crack up every time
KapiTod ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:23:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If people can elect animals I don't know why these joke candidates who actually have decent policies underneath the gig don't get decent showings.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Platform point of Lord Buckethead:
"Instead of Theresa May's commitment to bring back[7] grammar schools, Buckethead would build "gamma" schools founded on three principles: "One, better funding for teachers, to attract bright graduates. Two, increased facilities for children, especially playing fields. Three, if any child misbehaves three times, they are blasted into deep space, with the parents provided with a lovely fruit basket, by way of consolation or celebration, depending on the child. Discipline is key"
Source: Wikipedia cuz I'm lazy
sorrydaijin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:06:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All he had to say is "We'll get the Martian's to pay for it" and he would have had a decent platform.
StrangelyBrown ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:44:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd vote for him. I mean, if we're going to do fucking stupid voting, better Lord Buckethead than Trump or Brexit.
I_Am_Ed_Edd_n_Eddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which one?
MrSteamie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoulda ran in the snap election, eh?
OverFjell ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:21:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did, he ran in Theresa May's constituency.
therealadamaust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:31 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of my friends voted for him. Unfortunately, I'm just outside that constituency.
RandomPerson9367 ยท 721 points ยท Posted at 12:36:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buckethead could've released 5 albums in the time he spent sitting there tho. Shame.
5mileyFaceInkk ยท 301 points ยท Posted at 12:56:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord Buckethead is Buckethead's distant cousin.
Dr_Buckethead ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
ElSp00ky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:01:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you are the doctor of Buckethead?
calicosiside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he's the overachiever relative
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:06:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay good I was really confused why the guitarist guy who's only song I remember was on the Saw II movie soundtrack was sitting at the table yelling at politicians
EDIT: Okay after reading that dudes wiki, I have to say I'm beyond inspired by this mans work ethic
"Despite being a member of GN'R, Buckethead released his sixth studio album, called Somewhere Over the Slaughterhouse in 2001, and also his only EP, called KFC Skin Piles. He also released two albums with his band Cornbugs, and a third under his 'Death Cube K' pseudonym."
5mileyFaceInkk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:21:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bucket head releases like 10 records a year. Has over 150 studio albums.
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has 294 studio albums
chubbyurma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He released like 70 albums last year mate
agumonkey ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:43:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the guitar lord right ?
DubbelFunktion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:10:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A new Pike is out!
LITER_OF_FARVA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:40:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buckethead did release 5 albums by the time he was sitting there.
Lastrevio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHH I GET IT
[deleted] ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 12:41:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what... what is happening here? Sorry, Can someone explain to me who Lord Buckethead is? Ignorant American, here.
Seradwen ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 13:08:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right, honorable Lord Buckethead is a gag/political commentary candidate that shows up every now and again in English elections. He acts like he's an alien and generally seems pretty chill.
This year he ran against our Prime Minister for her constituency, I believe mainly to make her look silly, and to call out a lot of her policies.
qwertygasm ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 14:02:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's our strong but slightly unstable leader.
zetaconvex ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:15:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you mean she? She's our strong but slightly unstable leader.
wuyaa ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:21:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But then it would be Lady Buckethead surely
Hammertime420 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:36:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think u/zetaconvex is on about Theresa May, our PM. Still a true statement
zetaconvex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:53:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It was my attempt at wit.
For the Americans out there, the UK has a tradition of eccentrics involved in politics. One such party is the Monster Raving Loony Party. It's best-known leader was Screaming Lord Sutch.
Unlike the Americans, though, insane nutters aren't actually elected to seats of power.
MrsCosmopilite ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:43:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not so sure about the strong. Stubborn, certainly. Like limescale or cancer.
MikoSqz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:02:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weak and wobbly.
DarthMarago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wibbly wobbly, perhaps?
spaceLobsterInc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he basically a real life version of the animated bear from Black Mirror?
Sexaccount16335 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:16:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your fake candidate is WAY better than ours, and ours won! How is this fair?
redem ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I blame Elmo, he also ran for that same seat and split the vote with Lord Buckethead. Presumably thereby leading May to victory. Such a shame, but that's FPTP for you.
Minomelo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elmo got literally three votes. :P
Pwnzy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so kind of like Vermin Supreme
greenbabyshit ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:15:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Just. Wow. Ridiculous arguments that are somehow deeply rooted in truth. Fucking impressive.
TonyCubed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:29:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best thing I can add to this that needs clarifying was that he could actually took her seat if he had enough votes. Yeah it was a gag but he could have won under the right circumstances.
RandomProductSKU1029 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf... so.... Black Mirror?
godofallcows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's the Vermin Supreme of the UK.
Filthy_Scurb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UK's own version of Vermin Supreme.
Notaracist88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he the same as buckeyhrad the guitarist?
agumonkey ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 12:43:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently UK has to accept anybody that is willing to take part in the political process (or maybe this guy has actual credentials to attend). So this .. dude did attend as Lord Buckethead to express himself (mostly on brexit I suppose).
I don't know more, John Oliver did make a segment about him on his show, it's on youtube
KenEarlysHonda50 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 12:47:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a in independent candidate in the recent election. In May's constituency.
[deleted] ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 13:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
agumonkey ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:05:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
open democracy
Ionsto ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 13:20:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To enter an election for the house of commons (and a few others positions), you have to pay a deposit.
If you get over 5% of the votes cast then you get the deposit back. (only in major elections, not council elections). In my constituency the 5% threshold was about 2600 people, and 5/6 parties hit that threshold.
It is a reasonably effective system, that stops huge quantities of low vote count parties. There has been talk of removing it for the general election though.
agumonkey ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's pretty cool in itself, and the fact that L.Bd appeared is a proof of its political value.
Iopia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry if I'm being ignorant but is this not how it is in most places?
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ignorant too, don't apologize. I don't know how easy it is to speak at "high" political meetings. But normally anybody is able to become a politician yes.
teems ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a core tenet of democracy though.
Any citizen can take part in the political process and aspire for a seat in parliament. Before these positions were only available to the aristocratic class.
jbrittles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
most free democracies do. look up Vermin Supreme for the US. Its not democrafic to decide which candidates cant run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The alternative being...?
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you could go with a system where you have to prove yourself competent at a lower level of government before standing for higher office.
Nominally this is how the Chinese government works, with people who want a political career starting at the bottom rung of the Party and working up through local, regional, and then national level.
In practice, corruption gets in the way, but the system isn't fundamentally incompatible with democracy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah cool, to improve my democracy I think I'll copy China.
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The merit of an idea is largely independent of the person or group pushing it.
That the Chinese believe the world is round doesn't mean that it's actually flat.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. There's missing the point, and then there's launching yourself 180 degrees in the opposite direction. China has a fake show-democracy in which candidates can be imprisoned if they genuinely speak out against the entrenched power structures. This is why no one with a semi-functioning democracy should look to China for pro tips. The same goes for Russia where Putin's team actually sets up and funds the "opposition" parties.
GeeJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, that doesn't actually mean anything when it comes to the idea being discussed: that candidates for ministerial positions should be drawn only from a pool of people who have already proven themselves competent at lower levels of governorship.
You seem instead to prefer to attack the character of the group I associated with the idea, rather than the idea itself. There's a name for this kind of argumentation: ad hominem.
A better rebuttal would be something along the lines of:
Which is a pretty good counter, though the point was more that there are alternatives to entirely-open elections for the top jobs in government. Heck, the U.S. presidency, one of the most openly democratic elected positions, still has several restrictions (age, place of birth). So it clearly doesn't have to be "anyone interested in politics is eligible".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you're falling into the Falacy Falacy - spotting what you believe to be a stock fallacy, and so ignoring my substantive point (which you have acknowledged by unnecessarily writing it out again in your own words).
falusti ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:08:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK and many European countries, we try to involve everyone who wants to take part in an election (within reason of course) to ensure we are truly democratic.
What often happens is that countries often have a "satire party" to basically mean that a vote might as well mean "none of the above. In Germany's case, this is Die Partei, or in Sweden, this was at one point the Donald Duck Party.
In the UK historically we have used the Monster Raving Loony Party for this purpose, albeit they've been overtaken by Lord Buckethead in recent years.
You guys seem to have a stark contrast in your system. Take the 1996 US election, where your democracy actively tried to repress an independent candidate as he was rather arbitrarily deemed "illegitimate" to be worthy of the same coverage as Democrats and Republicans.
Superlace ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:06:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He kinda reminds me of Vermin Supreme.
DuelingPushkin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he's like vermin supreme in outfit only. Vermin Supreme is a whackjob this guy seems rather intelligent and sane.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say the same thing. Just replace the bucket with a boot.
Flobarooner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK for ยฃ500 you can stand for an electoral seat. People with too much money on their hands do shit like this.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's the UK's knockoff version of Vermin Supreme.
technifocal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:31:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'M NOT SAYING HE SHOULDN'T HAVE A PROSTHETIC COCK, I'M JUST SAYING HE SHOULD KNOW HOW MUCH IT COST.
one_time_chad ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody brilliant! I love the woman who lets out a giggle half way through!
BeagleWrangler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:55:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow Americans, tell me again why we left the British Empire? We fucked up
Arsewhistle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something to do with taxing tea too much, but now you barely even drink the stuff anymore! You may as well come back home, if Trump and May combine forces, who knows what hilarity will ensue.
ThePyroPython ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WW3 and all the shits and giggles one can expect whilst we nuke ourselves back to the bronze age in 30 minutes or less. Fun for the whole family!
agumonkey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:14:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You thought you could go further on your own, and Trump is a proof that it was true.
QuinceDaPence ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:50:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...and it went black an died.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:11:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what just happened there, but the interwebs need more of Lord Buckethead.
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does.
zw1ck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:47:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure Lord buckethead is David mitchell
apennyfornonsense ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Mitchell couldn't keep his mouth shut during their speeches.
decamping ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I rest my case."
aslak123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am getting more and more convinced he is actually a great politician.
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buckethead by night, Corbyn by day
make_love_to_potato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Florida: Hold my bath salts.
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Noice
wonka001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was supposed to be Monty Python's black knight.
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me too but Im not sure how much of MP is LB
dandroid_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting this. I haven't laughed so much in years, actually crying.
agumonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to .. have made you cry.. somehow.
thetruthisoutthere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes ya proud to be a Brit!
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Netherlands: Hold my bong
Cobbleking32486 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
US: Hold my 17 Bic Macs
Canada: collapses
agumonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're holding strong
mixxvixxen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like someone should do a Scottish version called Lord Buckfasthead. Fuck I'd love to see that.
Mixed_Opinions_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like your lunch or actual tea?
Lord_Skellig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
ThePyroPython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, the guy who wrote Skellig was the head at my sixth form.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who tf actually is that? Is he real?
Pancakewagon26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is this beautiful man
Foxxocubes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant believe I've lived here all my life and never knew this cat existed.. hilarious though.
otatew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks... Haven't laughed so hard in a long while.
WolvesAtTheGate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was one of my fave episodes of Doctor Who
CthulhuHatesChumpits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Towards the end, he starts sounding like the singer from Meads of Asphodel.
monkey_bojangles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing.
JMG_99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that bloke running in May's constituency?
agentfubar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:52:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jappening.
lemonsuicide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ANormalDayInJapan
Pennwisedom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once I went to Japan, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary happened.
Strong__Belwas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can go to any sporting event in America and I can just about guarantee I'm gonna see 3 to 4 grown men dressed up like "cuppy coffee" or a million other giant foods
sweet-tuba-riffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right now?!
inferno1170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HERE?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to post exactly that, but you beat me to it.
Rohri_Calhoun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Japanappening
Thobias_Funke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Jappening
Koblootski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adapt or die.
Meatchris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan ALWAYS happens
derpaherpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's jappening.
AdamChristopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japaning? Is that a thing or was I just racist?
zekneegrows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. In Japan.
REAL_DIO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I am afraid to click that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:26:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
XTCGeneration ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Rizin though (a top MMA promotion) that's based in Japan.
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying it's South Korea. I'm just saying this kind of weirdness (to westerners, that is) can also be seen in South Korea.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:43:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mocha_Bean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the beginning of the gif, the first sign on the right has some clearly Japanese writing on it.
oswaldcopperpot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, I was checking out the girls. some of whom probably are korean.
rW0HgFyxoJhYka ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 12:28:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese MMA fighter doing a pose during one of the fight press conferences before the actual fight. Cup o Noodles man, a brand by Nissin, is paying the MMA for advertising space.
[deleted] ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 12:43:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea but they couldn't give it pants? They had to go all check out my cup of balls and this cup of noodles.
AttackPug ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 13:26:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they gave him pants we wouldn't be jabbering about Cup Noodles right now, would we?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:34:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
inspiringpornstar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:17:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Noodles dont have pants though, it would be out of character
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:29:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its the speedo that just makes it so much funnier. I dont know why but it just needs to be this way. It just makes sense.
pstcx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:26:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean his cupped noodle?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really deserves more up votes than it got.
chalicotherium ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:00:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm eating a cup o noodles, I don't even want to be thinking about the fact that I'm eating a cup o noodles, let alone some desperately underemployed Japanese guy's tiny wrinkly damp little balls.
Turakamu ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:08:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But those are the best part! They really soak up the broth.
advertentlyvertical ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:09:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just think of them like the dehydrated peas in the soup mix packs.
RamenJunkie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:09:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you and your Ramen Hate
chalicotherium ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:48:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, fuck YOU. There's a big difference between Ramen and cup o noodles. If you weren't such a gigantic fucking phony, you'd know that.
Scientolojesus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:53:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you really take your love of ramen to the extreme.
Davregis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's comments like that that make Reddit sometimes.
SSOMGDSJD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holden Caulfield has gotten a bit severe in his old age
RamenJunkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look man, a hit is a hit. We can't all be so picky that every slurp comes off the belly of a high dollar hooker.
TheYoungGriffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why, but this made me laugh more than the actual post.
stanfan114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No weirder than Duffman.
MrMarris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You dont understand our obssession with speedos, heathen.
evilf23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you don't cover up quads like that with pants.
clamberrypie ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 12:29:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan:
Responsible for 80% of all weird shit worldwide since 1950
707RiverRat ยท 270 points ยท Posted at 12:44:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Florida...19% of the rest.
Pali_Upekkha ยท 407 points ยท Posted at 12:55:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
19%"of the rest" = 3.8% of the worldwide weirdness. The "rest" was 20% so you multiple 19% of the 20% to get the worldwide percentage of Florida.
ElectronicDrug ยท 498 points ยท Posted at 12:57:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright calm down ya fuckin nerd
thundergun661 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:18:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lets not forget about Russia here
727896 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:38:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brazil tends to get overlooked but i think they're a very close competitor to Russia.
fairylee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True if you consider gory prison executions to be weird
thesunscreen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:12:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Germany, if you want freaky sex, you'll end up looking at German porn eventually.
thundergun661 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got my free T-shirt
thesunscreen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring on the testicle clamps! ! !
chubbyurma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rural Australia gets up to some shit from time to time too
Cistvio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:20:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did the math.
QuinceDaPence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did the monster math
I-Know-What-I-Like ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad?
ForceGauge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/theydidthemath
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 13:32:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ElectronicDrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<3 u cranky
nropyrruf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:24:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still a lot of weirdness considering Florida only has .1% of the world's surface area and .3% of the population.
EQGallade ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:18:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/theydidthemath
Captainllamas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:38:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/dontfuckingsayit
ChristianExodia ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:47:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/TheyDidtheMonsterMath
QuinceDaPence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/itwasagraveyardgraph
fatmand00 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also doing so totally undervalues Australia's Northern Territory and Queensland, both great producers of insanity despite much smaller populations. Pound for pound NT has to be the craziest place on Earth. They deserve at least a few percentage points.
carljohan1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3.8% sounds about right, well done 707RiverRate
laxt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucks.
707RiverRat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have stayed in school, it's true.
Pali_Upekkha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didnt disagree with you just defined what you said. Everyone agrees with you. Florida has 3.8% of the worlds weirdness.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
20% minus 17% is 3 Half-Life 3 is coming
GoneUnsane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair he forgot some variables there... Let's try and fix that up.
Japan - 80% of the weird shit Florida 10% Russia 10% with trump in the office, Washinton, DC 10%
edit: [administration:office] edit 2: [DC]
727896 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D.C. I hope? Washington has a bunch of serial killers but otherwise it's pretty laid back. Just don't get serial killed and you'll have a great time.
GreenCyborgNinjaDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:08 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/dontsayit
s0ulsc0rcher ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:50:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, "the rest" was in reference to the world's weird shit. Therefore, their statement of 19% of the rest (replaced with 'worlds weird shit') is still 19% of the world's population.
Pali_Upekkha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that would be just written as Florida ... 19% of the world's weirdness.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:21:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
727896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the West Coast this game is alot easier because we have more meth than crack. For some reason meth inspires addicts to cover their bikes in blinking lights. They also always have a kid carrier full of cans or whatever weird shit they stole that day.
spenrose22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never seen a bike covered in blinking lights... where do you live?
727896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Portland, OR and Seattle, WA. Saw the highest density in SE portland. If you ever wanna see the show just hit 82nd ave at about 3 am. Between foster and flavel you'll find the most entertainment.
AndNowIKnowWhy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:32:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese are so weird it even makes the swiss
robotslose their shit.AndNowIKnowWhy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uum, Finnland would like a word with you. A long one...
VikingBear0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't forget Russia....40%
LadOkapi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Florida is no weirder than any other state. We just have super lax laws about police records and such that makes us a reliably easy target on a slow news day due to our larger population.
BlakeSteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only because you freaks from the rest of the country keep moving here!!
jordoonearth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to bring those jobs home...
linemandrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I demand a recount.
Pali_Upekkha ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 12:43:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FIFY
PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:48:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, what you're saying is, the US needs to nuke itself so we can be as interesting as Japan.
Pali_Upekkha ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:52:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh! Don't give the orange one any ideas.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:17:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He who shall not be named?
uncensoredavacado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Voldemort 2020
Houdiniman111 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:04:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Orange one? I think you meant to say
OUR GREAT AND BENEVOLENT MASTER AND OVERLORD.
Drachefly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bump that back to the fart war and/or the dream of the fisherman's wife, at least.
Deathmage777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:38:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look into Japans biological testing program during WWII, they have been disturbed for a while... NSFW
Frankie7474 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be disappointed my dear US citizens, you still have a trump;-)
Trogdorocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what happens when you drop two nukes on an isolated island.
Shockwaves35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this so weird? Is there no such thing as advertising in your country?
V-Ulyanov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:07:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Responsible for %80 of deaths in china before
is_it_controversial ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:51:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are working, doing their jobs!
Air_Hellair ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asian Brad Pitt wants you to buy Cup Noodle
Braviosa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:36:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the guys is Nobuhiko Takada who was a very famous Japanese wrestler (fake entertainment wrestling). I assume this is some sort of PR line up of celebs and ring girls for a wrestling event... and the pot noodle sponsorship... maybe.
PhumDuck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:48:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the MMA promotion Rizin actually which is run by the people who were behind Pride FC. Takeda is very famous in that scene as well for his matches in Pride with Rickson Gracie.
pipi55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rizin press conference. This is actually a pretty cool MMA competition. They're heavily influenced by Pride, a legendary MMA competition.
sonicthehedgehog16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are showing their support for cup noodle's long struggle with styrofoam cancer
404UNF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan being Japan.
MackZiggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese Mixed Martial Arts is pretty cool.
JoeDurp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's from Rizin a Japanese mma company I think the noodles is their mascot they had a roided out chick beat up a grandma
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its rizin fighting championships, basically japanese ufc. i seen this at the time and didn't think much of it, neither did millions of other mma fans.
RamenJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan is living proof that irradiating an entire country is a bad idea.
DeputyDomeshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advertising
NE112TALK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, WTCup is happening?
France_es_Bacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seems like a photoshoot to me
OhBestThing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also Asian Benecio del Toro two people over from Cup o Noodle.
Arizth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MMA fighter, ring girls, business partners/managers, and a mascot from an advertising firm.
It's not that weird if you understand the local culture, but think of it like the awkward mascots that sports teams in america have.
It's like that, but for advertising.
I_AM_SUFFERING ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a mascot.
iamkuato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever it is, the guy in the glasses is controlling it with his mind.
The_sad_zebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan likes mascots, and Cup Noodles is probably the team's sponsor.
golfing_furry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're standing around in a Power pose
wraithscelus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cup Noodles probably sponsored the event in some way.
marksor_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you even Japan?
stunna006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rizin fighting promotion, sponsored by cup noodles
silchi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shh bby, is ok
a11city ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:16 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mma promo
TheGumpSquad ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 12:14:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/1VB3Ex2kq_w
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:23:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheGumpSquad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:48:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Objectively the best choice, but you still really can't improve upon perfection
feralkitsune ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:01:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What pisses me off about this the most. Is they had time to do this side mission, but not to put the whole damn story in the game.
WinterholdMage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That to me was weird to see in the game, despite the obvious ad placements of Coleman camp equipment. With Coleman at least, it's just shown in passing but to have a quest that revolves around an ad is just weird to me, especially in a Final Fantasy game.
That said, Final Fantasy XV is a bad-ass game.
richardsim7 ยท 212 points ยท Posted at 12:21:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ANormalDayInJapan/
TheJack38 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:40:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy, dis gon b gud
the_bryce_is_right ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:10:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course this is a Subreddit
subscribed
JugglerCameron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the hero I needed. Thank you stranger.
nklv ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 12:27:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm liking Japanese Jack Donaghy two from the right of the cup noodle man. Good hair.
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 12:31:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marshsmellow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:02:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, or Japanese Brad Pitt.
T_at ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:08:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benicio del Tora! Tora! Tora!
ardhanarishvarananda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have your damned upvote...
Shortdood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:30:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was Benico del Toro
AerThreepwood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all just hit both of my successive thoughts watching that gif.
rjr017 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:57:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Nobuhiko Takada, famed pro wrestler and MMA fighter. Here is him banging a drum in a sumo diaper. Sorry I couldn't find a better picture. He does resemble a Japanese Benicio as someone else on here said.
rorymacdonaldsnose ยท 251 points ยท Posted at 11:53:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love seeing the weird parts of r/mma leaking into other places.
tssg05 ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 12:09:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of us are expecting of all the nonsense Japanese mma comes with but when it appears on the front page it's always hilarious.
banjowashisnameo ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you ok?
RedSeven4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our memes are the best <3
mental_reincarnation ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gladiolus from Final Fantasy XV.
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:01:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God bless Japanese girls.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 14:36:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how they have no idea how to hold their arms in a fighting stance. It's so cute. โบ๏ธ
I wish I could keep one as a pet. Feed her. Pet her. Bathe her. And then put her in her kennel at the end of the evening.
MrMarris ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:31:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nephew
KGeeX5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that Benicio Del Toro in the suit? (3rd from the end)
Summerie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:24:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had trouble finding who you meant because you counted Cup Noodle as a person.
give_pizza_chance ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:09:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nobuhiko_Takada
Pm_Me_Neon_Panties ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you stop this gif right when it starts it looks like the dude 4 people's to the left is just hailing Hitler.
artofwilson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BARUTOOooo
DSM-6 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:49:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cup Noodle did not skip leg day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he's trying his best I'm proud of him
oh_jaimito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The little face mask on the Cup Noodle has me laughing the hardest LMFAO
mrpyrotec89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that genki sudo? And rizin is a mma promotion
inomooshekki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japan never disappoints.
one23456789ten111213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what I was expecting.
CDXXnoscope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i love the dude going for the KAMEHAMEHA pose
naturalenergybyproxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I paused 10 seconds, thought risky click of the day here, and it's early. Noodle cup could have destroyed my day, but spoiler alert, for the timid, you will be safe...for now at least.
_Goose_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to fathom what else it could be other than cup noodle related and I just can't think of anything else.
Nalgas-Gueras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still stuck on Asian-Brad-Pitt.
RamenJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Best
someguysarehot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice legs and bulge, Cup Noodle.
Cressida- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 3rd guy down from the cup noodle guy looks like a Brad Pitt/Benicio Del Toro hybrid
JanitorJasper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, is that Japanese Stephen Colbert next to the giant noodles?
Hubbletron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where can one find images of these Japanese ladies in the gif?
bcss20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an Asian Benicio del Toro?
Deadlock93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had music running in the background, the moment the noodle cup appeared I heard the "Oh fortuna" from Carmina Burana, and I thought it was part of the gif. Then I realised it wasn't, but it fit so well.
SweetLordyJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that guy on the left the Japanese Benicio del Toro?!?
Twisted14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never change, Japan. Never change.
SpaceMoose9k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With special guest star Japanese Benicio del Toro.
HelloNPC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy on the far left in the suit is like a Japanese Benicio Del Toro.
tails142 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy third from end looks like Brad Pitt
adultdoug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a bad size
YouHadTimeToWaste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the 2nd to last guy, before we see the cup of noodles, is that Japan's Benicio Del Toro or what?
Sour_Badger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black leather gloves really brings this gif home.
TwoKeyMcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf is Benicio del Toro doing there?
Hawkmouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a bad size.
NitroMeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Asian Brad Pitt on the left?
s1apshot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that was both unexpected and extremely appreciated!
Pm_your_g_string ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck
acematt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shout out to Asian Benicio Del Toro second to the left of the cup o noodles guy. I see you doin your thing Asian Benicio, I see you.
caanthedalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a few loops to realize the cup has a face
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Japanese benecio del toro
sharkitects ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy two over from the cup'o'noodles dude looks like an Asian Brad Pitt.
secretcatloverman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of those dudes looks like Asian benicio del toro
closed_guard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is japanese mma. it's like the rest of japanese stuff with fights that look like a mix between tekken and dead or alive mixed in
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what I was expecting.
The_Godlike_Zeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy somewhere in the middle is staring at her tits for like 10 sec rofl
rikilamadrid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second guy to it's left is Asian Benicio del Toro. Amazing actor.
anothermuslim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found Japanese Benicio Del Toro you guys... right there next to the cup!
NotAnAsianGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck is cygames sponsoring this ?
karnok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The slow pan across kills me.
AhhBiteMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked seeing Benicio del Toro's Japanese half-brother right before the Cup Noodle guy.
EDIT: Spelling
Pendley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that asian Brad Pitt at the end?
Nissin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This interests me
thunder185 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Japanese Benicio Del Toro?
mixxxter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the hell is Cygames, publisher of shadowverse, doing there?
RememberWolf359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to see Noodle Dimension from Jetman cleaned up his act and got a real job.
mma13579 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf, love rizin but never even saw this
Mamsies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an Asian Brad Pitt?
(The second guy in a suit)
fool_on_a_hill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take another look, I'm pretty sure yellow shirt is giving blue hoodie a hand job.
bluetai1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost thought Benicio del Toro decided to switch races there for a second.
Blundero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else see Asian Benecio Del Toro in the suit?
DoTheHarlotShake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asian Guillermo Del Toro out there
sad_giggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd slurp that noodle ;-)
diba_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cup noodle and apparently the Japanese Stephen Colbert
AminoJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else see Japanese Benicio Del Toro on the far left there?
Mr_Schtiffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a partially related note: Does anyone know the name of the style of bra/top those girls are wearing? I need to do some... research.
paidinboredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
imagine him hitting on one of the girls hahaha
Gaijin_Monster ยท 10499 points ยท Posted at 10:53:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blblblblbl
edit: Thanks for the gold!
Martsigras ยท 1651 points ยท Posted at 12:16:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought a 2 second clip could bring me such joy
DirtMaster3000 ยท 1530 points ยท Posted at 13:49:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have another 2 second clip!
https://youtu.be/hhtOHeAmCbs
lostguru ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:27:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a 3 second one!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blpe_sGnnP4
Simalacrum ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:44:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here's a 6 second one!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaHOvWMPeJA
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:39:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahahahahaahahah oh my fucking god why is this so funny
Aterox_ ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 14:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That ended too soon
StreetSpirit607 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:24:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, just at the right time to leave the nostalgia tickle tingling.
Kabayev ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:59:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/videosthatendtoosoon
Edit: I didn't even know that this was an actual subreddit.
TjBee ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 15:03:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hedgehog is running down the piano but the music is going up in pitch...
hergumbules ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:09:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No the video is just reversed
Montigue ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 15:51:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's probably just a leftie piano
golfing_furry ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:01:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can buy those? I know they sell left-handed golf shoes
hergumbules ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:05:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah you're right. You can tell because the way it is.
MLGCyclone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty neat!
esa0705 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are exceedingly rare, I doubt it. The videos not reversed either because you can see it say Yamaha right way forward. Also Iโve seen the sheet music, the range of notes doesnโt span the whole keyboard.
Edit: plus you can hear a bass line playing when it should only be possible for the hedgehog to play a single line.
Frank_Anne ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:03:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's playing the Sonic the hedgehog theme song. It's not supposed to be real.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u 4 real?
Frank_Anne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:17 on September 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sound is from sonic the hedgehog. That's why it doesn't actually match the keys.
Smucko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so fucking stupid
I love it.
PGTits ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:07:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's no Go Bwaaaah! though
TradeSex4Potato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:34:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubehaiku
jm001 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:54:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubesyllables
Maximo_the_Great ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well now this is my favorite in my saved section
PM-ME-STEAM_KEYS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved.
olig1905 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and together they are even better.
EDIT: Thank me later http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=hhtOHeAmCbs&p=n http://www.infinitelooper.com/?v=oYnZkmJ1Ymo&p=n
BurningFish8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not click this on the narwhal Reddit app. It plays the 2 seconds of piano over and over even when you leave the link. Then it pauses other videos you click on in two second intervals to keep playing it.
BurningFish8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I could not stop it from playing even after I shut the app. It only stopped once I restarted my phone
Sphyrwa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you can right click on the youtube seek bar to make it loop.
Edit: Oh wait, that's an addon feature for chrome called "Magic Actions for Youtube"
JohnWarden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best thing ever
exzyle2k ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:04:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about an 8 second clip? https://youtu.be/14077PJvg4E
HLef ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is 9 seconds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgrA3xqB4sI
I was very tired the first time I encountered it and it made me laugh hysterically for many minutes. It hasn't had the same effect on me since, but I'd say the ROI is pretty solid.
prof1le ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:18:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubehaiku
erythro ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:22:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubesyllables
chrzzl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:04:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha yea you should try having sex with me
Pasty_Swag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:09:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's 21 seconds of a similar joy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&noapp=1&v=-yIvxZ_5ekA
Edit: NSFW ish
Chaphasilor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf did I just watch?
Pasty_Swag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem.
BrucePee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubehaiku
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/youtubehaiku used to have a nice supply of content like this before it became a cesspool of memes and remakes of remakes of remakes.
lunch431 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubehaiku enjoy
181Cade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/youtubehaiku
DataPigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could just try a few more seconds then.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WmFR0Hsmvs
snakemaster77 ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 12:57:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RERORERORERO
Tee_Hee_Helpmeplz ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:33:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฉ๏ผณ ใ๏ผญ๏ผต๏ผณ๏ผด ใ๏ผข๏ผฅ ใ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ใ๏ผท๏ผฏ๏ผฒ๏ผซ ใ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ใ๏ผก๏ผฎ ใ๏ผฅ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ๏ผญ๏ผน ใ๏ผณ๏ผด๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผคใ๏ผ๏ผ ใ ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใดใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด
Zeig_101 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:23:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด ใด
xx-shalo-xx ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:08:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a berserk reference?!
snakemaster77 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:18:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it's Puck's secret attack
shazarakk ยท 263 points ยท Posted at 12:48:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a mutherfucking JOJO soundbyte.
thebigbadben ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 13:16:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY GOD!
AngryNavySeal ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:57:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HORY SHET
Tee_Hee_Helpmeplz ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:34:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OOOOOOOOOHH NOOOOOOOOOO
Dimfira ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:49:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HERMITA PUUUUPAL
LordDeathDark ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SONNADA BEATCH
AngryNavySeal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes, yes. Oh my god.
djxyz0 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:24:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:48:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought that anyone, could make me feel this waAaAay. Now that you're here boy all I want, I just the chance to sAaAay:
shazarakk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I've barely started part 3, I don't get that reference. :(
Ilmanfordinner ยท 321 points ยท Posted at 12:34:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what I expected but it definitely wasn't a JoJo reference...
Raezak_Am ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:34:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you referring to the creepy licku licku guy from Stardust Crusaders?
Edit: yup, Rubber Soul.
Ilmanfordinner ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:45:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I am.
Well, at least the guy who impersonated the licku licku or, more correct, rero rero guy.
Raezak_Am ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That episode was disturbing. Great memories.
GFandango ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting that naked sky-diving woman.
Kmlkmljkl ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:04:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hey that's mine :D
Gaijin_Monster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:05:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's awesome. Thank you for making something so unexpected hilarious. It's been on my "save" list for a long time. All the Karma to you!
thewalrus532 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
which reminds me of this!
fugogugo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:10:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ALAN AL ALAN, STEVE STEVE
HOIYA ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 12:38:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that sound effect supposed to be "rero"
cheezefriez ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:56:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only is it supposed to be, it is.
DONT_SCARY ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:34:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close but I don't think that's kakyoin
kimples ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:42:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is in fact Kakyoin. At the end of his reros he goes blblblblbl
DONT_SCARY ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been listening to those sick rero remixes so much that I haven't heard the end of it in so long ๐ค
kimples ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:27:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking love those videos, so stupid but in the best way
toxicrystal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's Rubber Soul.
InternetPest ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this is fantastic
ragnarockers ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:50:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the blblblblbl with the naked woman skydiving. I can watch that forever.
PhilxBefore ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:10:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's whargarble.
go2kejdz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
had it in my saved, but it got deleted :(
FlameSpartan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
andsoitgoes42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite version is this very NSFW one
Solivaro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blblblblbl
Wolfy21_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blblblblblbl
jbg830 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:45:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snakes creep me out, but I loved that!
Chris5369 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was gonna be the one of the dog blowing bubbles with his nose lol
FilthyLittleSecret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahahahahahahahahahaah, this is so fucking fabulous
SpaghettiMonster01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am fulfilled.
KisuPL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd probably enjoy r/YouTubehaiku then
Balloonknuckle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I've laughed that hard for a while. I hate snakes but dam that is good
Zerifachias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking sides are in orbit lmfao
rawesome7225 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this at work. Had to step out for a moment.
CuteThingsAndLove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stoppppppp jesus now I'm saving your comment so I can get to this video whenever I want
flyingmops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are now in my save section. Thank you
jjacology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved.
Pelennor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually snorted milk when I clicked this. The rest of the stupid shit I this thread made me chuckle, but this got me.
ANONANONONO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've found so many things here to send my girlfriend when I want to eat her out
tapdancingintomordor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
Gamecrazy721 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/youtubesyllables
mysliceofthepie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone with the skills and time please make this into an hour long loop? My 2.5-year-old is losing her mind watching this just saying "BLBLBLBLBLBL, ha ha ha, that's funny, again!"
I will pay you... handsomely
DeadlyCuteKawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well the sound came from JJBA and here a 1hr version of the original sound rero
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I clicked on it I thought it was going to be the DBZ abridged episode where Cell gets lips and he's just going bababababababababa lol
introducedblunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/coraxraven
coraxraven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I was reading this when you tagged me
PmMe_Your_Perky_Nips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Sr_SGkqrrdM
hisinfernalmajesty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy's whole channel is full of gold.
Satsuz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right-click, Loop. Enjoy.
JHood_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Z-QJ9X8zYyk
song_pond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favourite thing in my saved section.
browner87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so disappointed this isn't a 30 seconds clip instead of 2.
jb2824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny how that's in an American accent
AllMyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKIN JOJO REFERENCE?
She_Likes_Cloth ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 12:35:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this picture. Seriously, there isn't anything to dislike about this picture
Tunalic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Collar doesn't match the bow... /s
IxuntouchblexI ยท 2775 points ยท Posted at 09:33:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find it but it was an AskReddit question about which actor/actress were secretly gay. All answers were Tom Cruise.
ThisIsLettingGo ยท 1619 points ยท Posted at 11:18:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found it.
MattTheBat27 ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 12:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god that's hilarious
Peregrine_x ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:06:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i think branches of it are bots that are still replying to each other.
it was an amazing thread to be in
A_Mouse_In_Da_House ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 16:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit was better 4-6 years ago. It was just a little bit more assholey, but still had the underground feel so you'd have stupid things like that happen.
Ishkabibaly ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:53:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe this happened. Just when I start doubting that people still have the ability to work together for the greater good. I'm so happy this exists
SandBook ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:11:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Then you'll enjoy this)[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/]
Lordidude ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:56:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does stuff like this even happen?
[deleted] ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as the ball was rolling with the joke, all non-Cruise answers were downvoted to hell (try sorting by new).
Doorknob11 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bot one was hilarious. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/348vlx/what_bot_accounts_on_reddit_should_people_know/?st=J4FUOV13&sh=e4ea8f7b
HiHoJufro ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:01:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this one because you can sort by controversial, top, best, new, old...every top answer tells the same truth.
Smoolz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:45:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like they were also deleted
Taggerung559 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:09:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you sort by controversial I found one that wasn't Tom Cruise.
Peregrine_x ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was in class at tafe when i opened it, and the back of my mind said "i wonder if anybody has put tom cruise yet?"
i got asked to stop interrupting twice in a minute because i was laughing too hard, i dont think i stopped for a good ten minutes.
FlameSpartan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:55:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then there's just that one random asshole that got gold for saying Tom Cruise
phyrne ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:14:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FlowSoSlow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:21:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18,000 comments, most of them saying 'Tom Cruise'.... And that's not even counting all the replies to those comments.
c0nn4h ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The irony of your name...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was another one more recent. Most of the answers were Tom Cruise and the other serious responses were downvoted.
De_Rossi_But_Juve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is by far the best one.
jumpsteadeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm now convinced that everyone is spelling cruise wrong. It doesn't look right anymore.
Legend017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing.
neonmarkov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was fucking glorious, can't stop laughing
the__storm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked my way down the tree for twenty minutes or so, but progress is slow. I'll try to put together a bot to get to the bottom.
mk5884 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, what a dumb thread. There are so many other good answers to that question, like:
Taylor Lautner Oprah Winfrey Macaulay Culkin Curtis Jackson (50 Cent) Ryan Seacrest Uma Thurman Isla Fisher Selma Blair Eddie Murphy
Edit: Did no one get my joke or was it a bad joke
GA89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:18:27 on August 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to me it was like this:
1.) started reading, got the feeling you don't get the joke,
2.) kept reading names and my feeling of you not getting joke grew stronger
3.) idea of you spelling out Tom Cruse with first letters shows up, I check and at this point it is clear you understand the joke
I assume there is a lot of people who don't get past point 1 or 2 and just down vote you or at least you can comfort yourself thinking that
stlbilly ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 13:32:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the hell can you not find it when you saved it?
Ouma_Shu ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:48:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I for one save way too many shit so I can't really find anything I really liked.
samurai_jak ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:16:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit's saved area needs a search function, it currently doesn't have one and for those who save lots of posts, just scrolling down forever and ever makes it imposssible to find stuff we saved many many years ago
MarcelRED147 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're gilded you can sort them into sections. Not sure what happens when the gilding wears off though.
Semyonov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't sort them any more if you lose gold.
MarcelRED147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you're regilded though, do they stay sorted or do you have to do it again?
Semyonov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They retain the previous sorting!
DemonicWolf227 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they're anything like me then they save so many things that it would be easier to search through every Post in the respective subreddit
freedomakkupati ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:01:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he just said it for the karma, what a cunt.
alex3omg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he saved a lot of stuff
runebound2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That thread is 4 years old. If he is like me and save loads of shit, that is gonna take some time. I too would not use the save function to recover the thread and would have probably just tried to Google it.
IxuntouchblexI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I save a lot of porn.
skibble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro I have eight years of saves
melancholyswiffer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I think it was like five years ago or so when I fist started reddit. My saved section is quite large over that span of just this accounts lifespan (friends figured out my other username).
daxter304 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:26:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been on reddit far too long...
That post is 4 years old and I'm seeing that I upvoted a few comments...
weatherwar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still make the Tom Cruise joke here and there, but I guess not many know or remember that thread.
kikidiwasabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! And I was surprisingly cheap with the upvotes.
daxter304 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I only upvoted two comments apparently.
geengaween ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:09:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does everyone think Tom Cruise is gay? Is there some kind of secret thing he does to signal his gayness?
KevlarGorilla ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:31:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but why though? He's usually not talked about regarding this topic and i never get those vibes from him personally. Why did everybody collectively get in on that at that time? Was there anything specific that just happened?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:46:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rbwildcard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't catch me, gay thoughts!"
SickleWings ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:51:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TOMCRUISE
SnowMercy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Smoolz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:50:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy, just be glad it's him, not you.
Last15tanding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I participated in that thread when it was on the front page, it was actually my first comment on this account.
Haystack67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try Google searching "Tom Cruise Reddit" and selecting the top result.
Dodgerballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnt the questions around the best Reddit items you have saved. You failed us IxuntouchblexI
A_Hobo_In_Training ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in that thread! It was great.
timeslider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This also happened on a thread asking about old tech that we still use. Everyone replied with fax machines.
Occasionally, a similar thing will happen when someone asks a question in the comments and you get 40 people all replying "Yes".
byAnarchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a similar thread on AskReddit but I can't remember the question. I just remember all of the answers were something like "OPs Mom".
Anyone have a link?
lea_firebender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's why the thing in the impossible quiz is this.
HotRodDeluxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:13 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you can't find it, clearly you don't have it saved.
Torgest ยท 3704 points ยท Posted at 09:45:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be in a few hours.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
ProbablyUndead ยท 540 points ยท Posted at 11:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn
fllr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mother FUCK
mistacheezy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:29:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JIAN YANNGGGG!!
kdvlx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I MUST STOP ABSENTMINDEDLY CLICKING THE LINKS
tonyvan22 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:06:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A whole new level of META
Spyrakis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:21:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A ?
E
T
A
?
hbgoddard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A whole new level? You mean the first appropriate use of the word meta on reddit in weeks?
TwistedDrum5 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:50:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last years
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3n45xi/whats_your_favorite_thing_you_have_in_your_saved/
Tbbas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:41:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recursion
Countess_of_Penrose ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally thought that right before getting to this comment. You got me.
DuelingPushkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it, knew someone would have already done it. Got to thus comment. Not surprised.
Kubissus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved your comment.
reijin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stuck now... Can't..... Stop... Recursion... Need Stop condition....
alex3omg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit..
Alek-Houdini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit I'm late again!!
GOpencyprep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zing
cbessemer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment is now my favorite saved thing.
MaxwelsLilDemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard of the barbers paradox?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/comment/djggour
Saved.
mollyme123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO ZERO DAYS!
ThePyroPython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/2meta4me
esa0705 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one on recursion is nice.
AdolescentCudi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inception
jimmyneutron555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:25 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I was thinking
jrsooner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:57:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
Alcarinque88 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So meta
aladdinr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:29:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Jodabomb24 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zentharian ยท 357 points ยท Posted at 13:56:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always gives me a good chuckle.
jumpsteadeh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:31:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether or not it was done on purpose, this is a brilliant play on how our eyes scan a typical social media post.
DustPuppySnr ยท 4071 points ยท Posted at 11:55:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worst job ever NSFW
DBerwick ยท 1270 points ยท Posted at 13:44:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"nahnahnah he's not pressin charges, turns out he's a super chill cunt alright bye"
2Brothers_TheMovie ยท 964 points ยท Posted at 13:22:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so glad I clicked that. Honestly anything said with an Austrailian accent is instantly a bit funnier to me though
ComradeRoe ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 13:38:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wish I was a right sick cunt.
OzUnder ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 13:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are mate
ComradeRoe ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 13:48:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this slightly more heartwarming than any of the other motivational shit I run into?
Anyway, thanks man.
DShmd989 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im sure there's plenty of lonely geriatrics in your area who can still catch some good neck.
aspidities_87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wringing out the ol tea towel
mrshibx ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
iOS user here, I've had my Siri in Australian mode for the last year, can agree.
LlamaLlamaPingPong ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:59:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that was a thing!! How do I do that?!?
Kiwikobi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:59:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Settings -> Siri -> Siri Voice
LlamaLlamaPingPong ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!!
Summerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably great! Are there any downsides?
mrshibx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None that I've noticed really,
Tommy2255 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:37:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this whole skit just wouldn't work without the accent.
Neamow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:07:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out Ozzy Man Reviews on YouTube.
Australian dude reviewing / narrating / making fun of ~2 minute videos, it's insanely hilarious.
My favourites:
Bunny vs Dogs
Cats stuck in a nah-fuck-you nah-fuck-you deadlock
MirroredReality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ALL ABOARD THE TRAIN TO DESTINATION FUCKED
keithmac20 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:17:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out Aunty Donna - it's an Australian comedy group.
One of my favorites.
Another.
Their most popular one on youtube.
aspidities_87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:52:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just saw these cunts live here in the states! They're definitely worth a view
DustPuppySnr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey. That's the same guy in The Wizards of Aus
CowDeer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:51:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shooters a legend, lives pretty close to me and he's just a down to earth bloke
GlockWan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
check out aunty donna, hilarious aussies
PalapaSlaps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:25:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian, I'm happy to see that a good amount of the top comments on here are from us.
spacesticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should definitely youtube "frenchy frozen" or "Frenchy Friendzone song".
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 14:10:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"nah he's not pressing charges turns out he's a super chill cunt"
wow
EmuWarSurvivor ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 14:18:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He creates some fucking hilarious videos. He's the original and more creative Ozzie man reviews.
mrfolider ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:16:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Ozzie, but better? I'm 100% ready
Barncore ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waaay better than Ozzie man imo
Unkill_is_dill ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:46:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dead
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 14:20:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How in the fuck does that not have hundreds of thousands more views?!
BaconReceptacle ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:24:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go fucking skydiving!
SaintRidley ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:21:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're fucking straight, aren't you?"
"Well, I am, yes, but I thought, y'know, I'll get out of me comfort zone."
PotatoonMyBlade ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:44:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Love Shooter
fuckinwhitepeople ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:46:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll have to excuse my friend here..... the town is back that way.
spader1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:07:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a little slow.
SiilverDruid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:24:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was actually hilarious. ๐
xavier7740 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:16:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody tell me the name of the song at the end! I recognize it but I can't remember, and it's killing me.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:13:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k
:P enjoy
xavier7740 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahahahahahaah yes bloodhound gang, thank you
readalanwatts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โฌ you and me baby ain't nothin but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel โฌ
The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
BalusBubalis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:44:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watching that in my office with earphone on was a bad choice.
My entire mouth has cramped from trying to keep a straight face. Amazing.
nu1stunna ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:06:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said the Victoria's Secret bit with such conviction, it made me wonder if it's actually true...
Ghastlycitrus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:43:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking glorious
PM_ME_UR_ANKLES_GIRL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious! Any other awesome videos from this dude?
FelineSilver ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:45:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk what you like, but these are some of the ones that I found pretty funny.
When parents warn you of the real world
Drugs on Antiques Roadshow
Worst Thing in Australia
Worst Marriage Proposal Ever
Limpinator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fuckin love this video.
jsavage44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Australians are legendary
joshieboy96-17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for showing me this, tomska ain't got shit
Barncore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proud to call this guy an Australian
Necr0p0lis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for contributing to my own save folder lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
exasperated laughter
StochasticOoze ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:19:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Help, police! Someone got spaghetti sauce all over my butcher's knife!"
jestert26 ยท 722 points ยท Posted at 12:14:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/gallery/snxk3
52ndstreet ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 20:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... did this guy just design and build this thing from scratch?? Like, this wasn't a kit that he bought for $5,000 (because lets be honest, LEGOs are ridiculously overpriced...)?
Did this guy seriously just just create this on its own?! What sort of engineering wizardry is this?!
scarletice ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:50:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The same sort that Lego engineers use to create those overpriced kits ;)
SplitArrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:45 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is the program to design your own Lego designs. http://ldd.lego.com/en-us/
Once you make your design you parse the pieces you need from https://shop.lego.com/en-US/Pick-a-Brick or https://www.bricklink.com/v2/main.page
pm_me_ur_fine_boobs_ ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:20:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whoa.
ethirtynein ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a way to buy that set to build for myself? I want that.
GrigoriTheDragon ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:06:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the pieces alone, well that many gray ones, would be a couple thousand dollars in part costs.
WedgeTurn ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:38:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like I care. Where's the part list and the assembly guide?
GrigoriTheDragon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough, try messaging the OC who put the album up!
shadekiller0 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:46:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not from a jedi.
TerrainIII ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:09:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A surprise to be sure but a welcome one.
Rahul_Raghu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:29:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its incredible
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:28:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was anticipating the last photo of it destroyed lol
gragrayson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After seeing that i wanted to build something from lego. After seeing the price of legos i wanna cry in a corner.
RobertM525 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:19 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mother of god.
pizzayourmind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:44 on July 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is AMAZING
chicachibi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:33 on December 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A+ Eddie Izzard reference
AKeeZ ยท 11027 points ยท Posted at 10:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/0NBfOrS.gifv
When i'm feeling down and low, this gif swerves to the rescue.
BoxxZero ยท 1327 points ยท Posted at 13:12:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do these cats look like you'd get them at IKEA?
Constable_Crumbles ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:10:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't give them any ideas.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:12:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PunkinNickleSammich ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The new Kรคtt collection?
xxDejaEntenduxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope it comes pre-assembled
nirie89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:33:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're actually from Sweden and live there. Their instagram is olle.lillebror.ferdinand
JuqeBocks ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 14:16:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because they're both monochrome with a lot of white and also
ugly as fuckquite aesthetically pleasingedit: ikea has... wronged me on numerous occaisions. these cats are cute though.
PhoenixRealm ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:46:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all cats are pritty in their own way :(
Marlexxx ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:10:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're good cats, brent.
CrimsonKing1029 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've just spat hot tea all over my keyboard thanks to you.
showmeurknuckleball ยท 1714 points ยท Posted at 12:55:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When they're done and start walking in different directions "good game dawg, good game".
Pingoo12 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:05:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably "good game cat"
SolenoidSoldier ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:44:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I say 'good game, human'
dfn85 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:09:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dawg transcends species
Pingoo12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Universal slang lol
ZooRevolution ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:05:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Stalemate, once again..."
jaketocake ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually thinking "fuck it well played"
forbes52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good game cat, actually
pbabinea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When they're done and start walking in different directions "good game cat, good game".
FTFY
SirVeryBritishFellow ยท 295 points ยท Posted at 12:38:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gif is amazing
cogenix ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:02:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"can i has fite?"
fites
"k, fite done, bye fwen"
ben123111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was deleted, what was it
Gonzostewie ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 12:42:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're both just like "aww fuckit."
BobEWise ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:01:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat 1: Hey asshole! [smack] It's quarter to eleven.
Cat 2: Huh? Oh right.
[lazy cat fight ensues]
Cat 2: So, how's Martha?
Cat 1: The same, y'know. Kids out of school yet?
Cat 2: Another week.
Cat 1: Welp, got that out of the way. [walks away] See you tomorrow.
Cat 2: Right, fuckin' prick.
Cat 1: What?
Cat 2: Nothing.
Yeabeux ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:59:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprise patty cake
sgtsnyder88 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:12:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was just watching this thinking "am I the only person who thinks it looks like they're trying to play patty cake?"
DondeT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Patty cats!
Phlum ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:28:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this video
marmighty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poom!
mazelaar ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 12:58:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you like them, they have their own Instagram page with more stuff like it.
redig_loftgnolare ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:14:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some Swedish vรคlfรคrd leaking out.
ShokoFlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao that slap at the end
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This taught me if I'm ever in another fight just kiss the person I'm fighting and it'll be over
NunuMand ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:18:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you havent seen it yet, you might enjoy this video. https://youtu.be/KIePsbJSS04
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew what it was before clicking
Keyann ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:17:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man
Heyoceama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*pat-a-cat
JuniorJRIV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only one that actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you
Varboa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:45:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are some of the fattest acting cats I've ever seen
zSocrates ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goku vs Vegeta when they like 200 years old
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I wish I could cure my depression with a gif
EasilyDistractered ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should dub Rogan / Goldberg commentary over this
platyviolence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BLOOD BATH
TheCrozTrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this
SjettepetJR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they are neither angry or happy. this is something that just has to be done, no emotion.
bombikid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat.
quickhakker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kitty printer was running low on ink
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dansons la capucine
swyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat.
mattloch666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was about 50 high fives.
Yosarian2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they just playing pattycake?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha! It's like they go"you done jim? I'm tired" "yea carl, see ya tomorrow"
Caraddict49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's funny
DebitsOnTheLeft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now it's in my saved section. Thank you for this.
april_a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, thank you for this.
MetadonDrelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more intrigued by the rosharch painting on the black cats fur...
DextrosKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like they're doing a secret handshake before the shift change
Momochichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favorite thing in my saved section.
AhoyPaloy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LeBron is just phoning it in with his handshakes these days
Reintarnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Patty cake, patty cake, bakers meown."
SashaTheBOLD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my daughter loves making special handshakes with her friends, too.
freezend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that looks like a sweet handshake.
banhxieo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were just doing their secret handshake
frijolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop it.. Stop it.. Stop.. Just stop.. Stop.. K..
cynical_integral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: they were trying to high five but kept missing so gave up
keldridge2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat.
COIVIEDY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone have a source for this?
anothertrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that was intense
pighalf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the end of Matrix where Neo fights agent Smith and predictably blocks each punch in slow speed
C0gnitiveDiss0nance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those cat trees are great! The conch shell basket is a little flimsy for the bugger cats, but they make another black and white model that's much sturdier and imo better looking.
Mc_nibbler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the longest handshake routine I've ever seen.
shicken684 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is precisely how my two cats fight. They'll gently bat at each other then just walk away or lay down and start cleaning each other's ears.
rundamnit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have found my people
MrDurden93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the suggestion that it's not actually a fight, it's a secret handshake, or an initiation of some sort to switch guard duty
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah fellas! Calm down!
Talory09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen this one?
Cats Playing Pattycake
marshalpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UNHAND ME PRIEST
angstamongthepigeons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When she says "I'm tired, just put it in" and rolls over onto her side.
milkradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they're so cute i'm cryin
camerondnls2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're obviously playing patty cake
casualblair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't working
Yeah, you wanna stop?
No, just... OK.... Yeah let's stop.
Cpt_Tsundere_Sharks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see a gif with cats doing this, I ask why it happens that they just start pawing each other's paws and I never get a satisfying answer.
TattooedLadette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're some pretty cats.
maora34 ยท 6546 points ยท Posted at 09:14:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, hi!
mitch_is_here ยท 2814 points ยท Posted at 10:53:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar gif, it never fails to make me smile like an idiot.
https://m.imgur.com/Tgdw7gn
SuicaArvantishi ยท 590 points ยท Posted at 12:18:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. They would make such cute characters in a animated film.
Ryanestrasz ยท 1097 points ยท Posted at 12:52:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ed.....waaard...
poopellar ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 12:58:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO
AliTheAce ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:42:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ONII.....CHAN...
TradeSex4Potato ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:32:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THANKS
Pariden ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:03:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'VE HAD ENOUGH
Rustash ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 13:16:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you like this?
Ryanestrasz ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:17:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mental state died ages ago. now im just waiting for hte physical to catch up.
dedicated2fitness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:46:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
would you rather die in a bed or while being crushed trying to beat the world deadlift record?
but seriously plz do not give up
Ryanestrasz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullet.
dedicated2fitness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
belated happy birthday dude. i hope you do go get help
incidentally i do have a relative(bro in law) who looks like you but is jacked to fuck
Ryanestrasz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heh, if i were three inches taller a lot of my physical problems wouldnt exist.
dedicated2fitness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lots of short folk work out dude, even people with pain can workout. tried yoga or tai chi or anything like that?
Ryanestrasz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now were getting where the mental causes problems.
dedicated2fitness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have you gone to a therapist? my current kinda sorta gf also has similar medical issues and she's managing w/ prescribed medication and some /r/EOOD
Ryanestrasz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in america.
bobby_corwin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:54:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you've done this.
Plz_Gooby_No ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:13:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most reluctant upvote of the week right here. FFS.
Scheherazade_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:40:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this in reference to?! I see everyone's horrified response to your comment and now I gotta watch the movie that did this to them
BurgundYY99 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 13:48:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full Metal Alchemist, it's an anime.
Scheherazade_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:14:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I never got to watching it because I couldn't decide whether to start with the original or Brotherhood, haha
donredd ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:25:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brotherhood is wayyy better. I'm not sure which to recommend though. I watched the first FMA and it was one of my favorite animes of all time. Then I watched Brotherhood and when I tried to go back to the original I just couldn't. I'm slightly leaning towards saying watch the original first, that way you'll still want to watch Brotherhood. If you watch Brotherhood first, you won't go back
Scheherazade_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually heard a few people say the same thing over the years! I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do then, it seems like having watched the first one sort of makes the second one better. Thank you dude!
rhesus_pesus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that you know which one you want to start with, make sure not to read about the show/plot and go in as blind as you can.
dedicated2fitness ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:46:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
original has better animation, brotherhood is a more cohesive story.
Etheo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're both great in their own rights. If you watch them with the mindset of two parallel universe for the same characters, you'll enjoy both of them. Also because mostly Brotherhood is the better of the two (general consensus) so your enjoyment elevates.
Personally I'd recommend watching it in chronologically released order, including the movies.
Reil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do Brotherhood, then do the original. The original is an interesting example of, when you catch up to the source material, forging ahead with your own plot (as opposed to endless non-canon filler like Bleach or Naruto).
Brotherhood skips a lot of the stuff that happens in the first anime and in the manga, though.
Ryanestrasz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:55:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You asked for this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1pKY8UE0mQ
Scheherazade_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:21:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit, thank you!!
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:35:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redditmedia.com/CPnIiHHqhw3cCXOBW8KL8mrT5Un1fPXlt33iC4STWls.jpg?w=320&s=1c77be4bd4792c50802701527391ca16
ThePyroPython ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE [sniffs] who the fuck is chopping onions...
TytoCorvus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:32:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You monster
KA1N3R ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:17:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
goddamnit.
submortimer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you've done this.
TheTallOne93 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:28:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anime eyes open and pupils getting smaller with the main character breathing heavily and the camera shakes like it's having a stroke
TheDartron123 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FOR FUCKS SAKE I WAS STARTING TO GET OVER IT.
Zazamari ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:58:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a terrible day for rain.
PenguinSnail ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:06:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How could you do this....
Ryanestrasz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#nosoul
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:46:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO please
PM-ME-YOUR-HANDBRA ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:17:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you monster.
rlaxowns ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, so I guess they already are anime characters!
mR_tIm_TaCo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:19:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHY
Gamzi91 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wooooooow.... jeeeez
Not_really_Spartacus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who... Who hurt you?
Ryanestrasz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the past ten years.
KamuiSeph ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:20:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. Why?
masteroftasks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:08:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DANG IT NOOOOO
I try to escape it...but it keeps following me...
Fleshcakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHY GODDAMN IT
KennethKnot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.
remedios624 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit pls no
tinker_tailor17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T EVEN
janiekh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I KNEW IT WAS COMING!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good god why am i seeing this everywhere recently? I saw a shirt that featured the two of them, this comment, and i got sent a picture of tucker and nina with the caption "happy fathers day." Wtf. Why?
Gadgetlam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:09:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wwwoooowwwwww
Jasterfarian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studio ghibli get on that
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:20:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid's mischievous grin... you just know she's up to something. And the dog's her partner in crime.
OnTheJobRedditor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:39:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, the dog looks a little nervous. It's like the kid has a mischievous plan and the dog had to go along with it
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:16:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dog is certainly in on it. He winks to kinda tell her "Settle down ... they will get suspicious"
Omgitsashark ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:33:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of dog is that?
ZioTron ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:46:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
samoyed, one of the most cute, caring and lovely breed there are
BermudaGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clean af too, but can be annoying
IwantPuppies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
marshsmellow ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:07:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a human child.
umm_umm_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A good dog
P3G4SVS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:31:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is a good dog Brent
Andy_B_Goode ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:03:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/samoyeds
You're in for a treat
The_Keijhanator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samoyed, probably.
ProphetoftheOnion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:24:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF5_GwLyAIA
Here you go
chillitomatocakes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:51:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same samoyed from this video
Culing ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is a personal favourite of mine!
https://i.imgur.com/XbVswI7.gif
PM_ME_UR_PUPPER_PLZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way the doggo fidgets his ears...
laxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they did a morning show, I would tune in err'day!
ICanHearYouHavingSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow now that's a video I havent seen in a long time
gdlmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of dog is that?
b1r2o3ccoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Source, with sound and a little longer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF5_GwLyAIA
HLef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two cats and I don't really want two cats PLUS a dog, but just looking at that kid's face makes me think I should reconsider. My two year old would probably freaking love it.
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally unrelated, I know, bit can anybody tell me what kind of dog that is? Would it be a husky?
EyesOfEnder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Samoyed! :) /r/Samoyeds
-LEMONGRAB- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
EyesOfEnder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always happy to spread Sammy cheer! They're a rather unknown breed (at least in my area) but they're super awesome dogs. Love mine to bits even if my house is covered in fuzz :')
picklev33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samoyeds are the best dogs.
badmankelpthief ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Nothing happens
PLOXYPORO ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 10:35:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no...stop...that's too cute
armored-dinnerjacket ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:54:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks like a Samoyed.
Generic-username427 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:35:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it looks like a smiling cloud, it's a samoyed
peejster21 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:22:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what every girl using the snapchat dog filter desires to be.
ReyJae ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:43:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark!!!!!!!
bgary117 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:18:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that dog is cute. What breed is it?
zCourge_iDX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samoyed!
ohhi254 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey =)
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww :)
BolognaTime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is the annoying little jerk that stole the artifact and left some dog residue in my bag.
iHeartApples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of dog is that living stuffed animal??
TheOmnipotentPilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way his tongue just flops out at the end.
AssassiNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww I love the little head cock to the side they do ๐
[deleted] ยท -45 points ยท Posted at 09:51:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PhiladelphiaPhighter ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:40:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
PhiladelphiaPhighter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:40:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
PhiladelphiaPhighter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:41:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
PhiladelphiaPhighter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:41:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
ICall_Bullshit ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:54:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
TheEpicTurban ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. This guy here.
Ignore Simon.
SirVeryBritishFellow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:09:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, Simon here. Ignore this guy
williamsus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
reallyweirdperson ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Simon here.
Ignore this guy.
TimHatesChoosingName ยท 3006 points ยท Posted at 09:42:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://musclewiki.org/
JoXand ยท 797 points ยท Posted at 11:52:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IdontknowwhatIexpected.jpg
Tyler1492 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
iexpectedporn.gif
JoXand ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:33:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get porn! You get porn! Everybody gets porn!
SynergizedSheep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
589 subs!
Pravus_Belua ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:01:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know either, but there sure was a lot of nice eye-candy on that site.
http://i.imgur.com/Ebx70Y5.gifv
Forgot_password_shit ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:08:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please stop objectifying men. /s
Pravus_Belua ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:32:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never :)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it as musclekiwi.com so idk
lipstickpizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pervy redditor in me was thinking/hoping it would be a database for muscular female nude models and pornstars.
kurosaba ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 12:20:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish they added stretches for each muscle group instead of just workouts.
Edit: So on the top right of the page, there is a dropdown menu where you can select (weighted) exercises, Stretches, or Bodyweight exercises.
50-50 ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 13:00:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's a dropdown menu
Exercises / Stretches / Bodyweight (exercises)
kurosaba ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Missed that. Thanks!
teambellayall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say thanks
50-50 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:37:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
Iggyhopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mr
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like attack on titan porn right now
andres4514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this for later, thanks.
witness_protection ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:56:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded. Anyone know of a resource like this?
kurosaba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go back to the site, there's a dropdown menu on the top left of the page where you can select if you want to do bodyweight workouts, weighted workouts, or stretches. you can also change the gender.
witness_protection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!
TheColdestFeet ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:32:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i can't work out my cock muscles?
hufterkruk ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just do cock pushups bro
Mortido ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:10:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is all you need.
kaiserDuke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:17:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock push ups and the power slide!
Iggyhopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DONT LET IT BE A NON ZERO DAY BRO
Drewajv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:28:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never know when you're gonna need to fuck your way out of a bad situation
All_Work_All_Play ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with that attitude.
crysys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The website extrapolates an accurate representation of your physiology based on web history. So if you aren't seeing any cock muscles...
BIGJFRIEDLI ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:39:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why is it missing some of the groups that it specifically outlines?
someguysarehot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:30:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy demonstrating the male muscles is really hot.
I_REE_therefore_I_am ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:05:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit dude thanks for this. I have a trainer twice a week but the other days i get so clueless at the gym that i do the same 3-4 excersizes over and over. Im saving this
HaakenforHawks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next time you are with your trainer, ask them to describe what muscles are being used for the different workouts and what purpose those muscles have. A good personal trainer should already be telling you these things and if they can't answer them, or give answers like "this works the pecs, they're the ones on the front that give you that really buff look" then you should probably get a new trainer.
I_REE_therefore_I_am ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He does that, and he is very good and Ive lost a ton of weight with him. But for some reason whenever i get to the gym I completely blank out as to what i should do, so i end up doing the same set i always remember.
It's completely my fault for being an absolute retard when it comes to weights and training
HaakenforHawks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry about it! It takes time to learn those things, this website seems like a great resource too!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may try asking him to write down a program for you to work through when you're by yourself. Any trainer worth a shit will be willing to do that.
You could also consider checking out /r/fitness. There's a whole section devoted to beginner workout programs in the subreddit faq.
reciprocal_space ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, thank you for this.
Captain_EO_99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is awesome, thank you!
thekillingjoker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I never work out cause I'm so paranoid about using poor form. The gifs on each page are super useful.
montana12345 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude thats fucking nice thank you!
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Epic
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:23:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out https://www.Exrx.net/ too
LaxNomad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was really cool, thanks for sharing! Not sure why they have male versus female though - all humans can do the same exercises regardless of gender.
sugar_sure ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:12:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a female, it's really helpful to see another female doing these exercises. It helps me visualize being able to do it myself because my body looks a lot more like hers and the amount of weight is similar.
LaxNomad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:53:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense!
merreborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are some minor differences.
Men have a much easier time doing pull-ups.
Accounting for those sorts of anatomical differences in routine design probably isn't an awful idea.
zcrx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:49:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men have larger ribcages and smaller hips compared to women so their postures look different. It'd be easier to just have both demonstrate how to do the exercises with correct form.
V1llukka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a legend!
ForgottenPhenom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved n!
Squatting_Buffalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aaand, bookmarked. Thank you kind person.
mixxvixxen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah this is absolutely amazing! Thank you so much!
Trajjan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disappointed in no head workout.
youngsexylegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice, was just looking at how i could workout a bit!
ColonolSexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting this, I'm just getting back into working out, this will help.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2bad240 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, https://musclewiki.org/ (Top left, dropdown menu)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://brainwiki.org
HaakenforHawks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bodyweightfitness will have a lot of resources too.
ImNotTheOnlySpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah! Gee thanks!
KurtKronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup... have that too. Excellent reference source.
Robahrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, what's next, a Muscle Museum? ( อกo อส อกo)
Problematique_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/4w7zFA_BW90
Robahrt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There we go
Archangelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fantastic. Thank you!
KJ6BWB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went there, clicked on a random muscle and discovered https://musclewiki.org/Exercises/Male/Forearms/ with the Forearm Curl. I've seen people doing this, but I'd always assumed that they were just super tired, unable to continue real exercises, and were pushing for that last little bit of anything. I never knew that it was a real exercise, focusing on a specific muscle group.
tl;dr TIL
hexane360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta get those forearms looking like Popeye
GoSwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i just read muscle kiwi and i was wondering why the fuck did they get a kiwi and started making him lift
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty shitty link, they only list very basic exercises and you cant even click on half the bodyparts
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. Would like more than two exercises for the lower back but the rest is pretty good.
PM_Me_SFW_Pictures ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My only complaint is I can't look there for a good starter workout routine. It tells me what I want to do, but not how much
Pinksister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Useful.
DiscipleOfBadassery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent! Thank you.
CeaRhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read MuscleKiwi?
Spidermachine916 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG! thank you for this!
ShmeShmRo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just started hitting the gym recently. This link really helped me figure out techniques to use thanks.
Iggyhopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I've been looking for holy shit. No BS.
Dial-1-For-Spanglish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh... seeing something practical after all that foolishness was like shifting from 5th gear down into 1st.
zcrx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That website is incredibly useful.
purplehazzzzze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
first thing i did was click on the butt
nergoponte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:53 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No jaw workouts?
DutchLoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:28 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, YES! Thank you, I needed this!
bella0510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on mobile...but it won't let me click the lower abs. Plz help.
10388391871 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:05:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also doesn't let you click on obliques so I think both lower abs and obliques are included in the abs section. Either way, lower abs will work in conjunction with upper for the most part.
zcrx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upper and lower abs are the same muscle, rectus abdominis. Unless you're referring to what is called the Adonis belt, that's the transverse abdominis.
Pithy_Lichen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me of www.exrx.net
Brainmouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy's squat form makes my knees hurt.
_Person_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea that's the first thing I noticed too. His knees are coming way too far forward.
wraith5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/mildlyinfuriating
NiobiumGoat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:48:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
click
[deleted] ยท 7137 points ยท Posted at 09:07:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
SecretAgentB ยท 2114 points ยท Posted at 10:04:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a second... This isn't funny or nsfw but I like it
jiso ยท 1518 points ยท Posted at 11:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of those "came here for the funny porn but learned how to make stir fry" kinda threads.
__penguin__ ยท 368 points ยท Posted at 11:18:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please tell me I'm not the only one who misread funny
RayRayLoL ยท 230 points ยท Posted at 11:26:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came for the furry porn.
RolledFlounder ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 12:07:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came for the stir fry
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 12:27:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tonyvan22 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:47:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate.
bvlshewic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:32:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check, please.
Jpvsr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't checkmate, we are playing go fish!
PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:51:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yum
ButcherPetesMeats ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:36:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi it's me your stir fry.
JProc5701 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stir Fry porn? Yes please
informationmissing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, because this book is in my saved list...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/w/natural-harvest-fotie-photenhauer/1113546061?ean=9781481227049&st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Shopping+Books_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP62465
LemonInYourEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck.
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's where I found it.
Ojijab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just came ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ).
PragmaticParadox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came for the gang bang.
Can I have some of your stir-fry?
Bandwidth_Wasted ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:03:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/yiff
jrsooner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
khaliFFFa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/furry_irl
DragonsAreFurriesToo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks.
golfing_furry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:55:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a scaley and you know it
DragonsAreFurriesToo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what about furred dragons?!
golfing_furry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win this round, dragon
DragonsAreFurriesToo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah!
golfing_furry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐
DragonsAreFurriesToo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:05:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D
PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came for a different kind of porn.
golfing_furry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of that on here. A lot
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... same...
Kill me.
Cheerful-as-fuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For or to? Either way I'm disgusted เฒ _เฒ
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about both?
Maestruly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bunny porn? you freak
PM_ME_GOAT_YIFF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong if you misread funny?
TehDragonGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. No you aren't, sadly.
Fuck.
What is my mind doing?...
HBOscar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out...
Obscu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
PeterDhugeD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
RedOtkbr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's it, huh?
OxvFer0cdak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So long as it's hot and Asian.
dumb_giraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always hate when I accidentally learn how to make stir fry
TradeSex4Potato ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:33:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why was it removed?
Aiomon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone have it saved? He deleted it!!
archaicsun ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:50:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/NjXJ8V2
I saved it.
Aiomon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did it get removed?
SecretAgentB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure, but it was a stir fry recipe cheat sheet
NZ-Food-Girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can have a 'saved' section?! Clearly I don't know how to reddit. Saved stuff sounds good. Help?
jusjerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is an alternative stir fry recipe that some find amusing.
thecriclover99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:44 on August 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that got more and more out of hand the further it went. I wanted to stop watching, but I just couldn't bring myself to look away.
jusjerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has a variety of videos that are equally horrifying
sammydizzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the link, I saved this post and then he deleted his comment and I really wanted to use that
archaicsun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/NjXJ8V2
I saved it.
Radi0ActivSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was it? It's been deleted.
SecretAgentB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stir fry recipe
youguyyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was it?
SecretAgentB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stir fry recipe
russiakun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was it? The comment was deleted.
emerson7x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're not doing it right.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1397 points ยท Posted at 11:44:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but garlic and onions are not fucking "optional".
typehazard ยท 495 points ยท Posted at 12:01:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I see you are a man of culture as well
Cpt_Tsundere_Sharks ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 12:55:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a man who has functioning tastebuds in his mouth.
BoRamShote ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taste Buds would be a great name for a buddy food show.
Razgriz01 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Functional enough to understand that garlic and onions are vegetables from hell.
ELFAHBEHT_SOOP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/OnionHate
John_Wang ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 12:31:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for fuck's sake don't add the garlic at the same time as the onions. Overcooking garlic leads to a very unpleasant taste and smell
BeefbrothTV ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:17:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a decent rule of thumb but depends entirely what you're making. If you don't need any color on the onions, the water they release will prevent the garlic from burning.
bachoman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:05:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why my chili always smells like cigars?
DenizenPrime ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to undercook the onions. Everyone is going to get to know each other in the pot.
thephoenixx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:41:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I just pictured poor Kevin dropping the entire pot.
A_Flamboyant_Warlock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:53:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That scene always makes me sad. He poured his heart and soul into making that chili.
istasber ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:56:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only if you bad if you burn garlic. You can cook the shit out of it and it'll still taste/smell fine, but get the temperature too high and it's like throwing earwax covered socks into your dinner.
Garlic's almost always one of the first things I put into a stir fry, just because I want that flavor to be in everything.
informationmissing ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:32:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. Caramelized garlic is delicious. The blacker the better.
Cheech47 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I saw a porn like that once
linwail ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this and yet I forget every single time. Lots of burnt garlic
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a good idea if you're stir-frying shit yeah. It works pretty well if you chop them up fine and have them sweat in a lot of butter with the onions for a long time.
MrDastardly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put the garlic in when the oil is cold, let it warm through and add the onions - it prevents the garlic from burning (as long as you remember to stir)
HeatSeekingGhostOSex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, get that shit translucent then add that garlic.
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 12:11:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you put onions in, please make them big chunks so I can pick them out, then we can all get along...
Originally_Sin ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 12:38:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they're in big chunks, you'll have to pick them out, they're not gonna cook properly.
spacetug ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:50:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, tiny pieces so they nearly dissolve and spread the flavor.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love me some onion in my food but I hate that even when you use a little bit, everything tastes like fuckingโ onion.
I wanna taste my food not just the onion, God dammit.
Summerie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:28:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know that I taste the onion, but I know when it's missing.
badmankelpthief ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:21:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you're using too much onion
JupiterExile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might be the type of onion. Sweet onion is really potent, white onion less so.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:34:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big floppy slightly singed pieces of onion have their own appeal.
shaidy64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blast em in the microwave for a couple of minutes beforehand.
[deleted] ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 12:37:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I can get along with someone who doesn't appreciate a good bit of onion.
akira410 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like onion. Onion does not like me. :(
Burndy ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:51:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not even fair I don't even know why I hate onions. I bite into the smallest sliver in anything and boom immediate gag reflex
reubenroo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:02:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a girl at my school who dresses like a Russian woman from the early 1900s and paints like she's fucking da Vinci. Flawless renaissance-esque work that I've never seen anyone make so well.
But she also eats raw onions all the time, I don't know why. Your comment reminded me of her.
Burndy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:09:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's a heathen
helzbellz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really want to see this girl's outfits. And her paintings.
reubenroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't wanna post a pic of her because I don't know if she wants her face all over Reddit (lol), but here's a WIP that I got off her instagram. It looks even better IRL.
Oh, and she's only 13, maybe 14 by now. It's kinda terrifying. I don't know if it inspires me or makes me feel sucky.
EDIT: I googled "russian woman headscarf" and got this which is a good representation of this girl's attire, with the addition of ankle-long black dresses. She doesn't always wear it and she doesn't do it for religious reasons or anything. I'm just confused as to why she does at all, especially because we live in south FL. Like, you gotta be baking under there, man.
It's cool, though.
helzbellz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That picture is amazing. In both skill and subject matter.
MonkeyDDuffy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You and me both. I was a picky eater and thought I was just being a baby until I got used to lots of things I wasn't into EXCEPT onions.
Burndy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its honestly so frustrating especially since I like to cook. My girlfriends all like "HUR DUR WHY DONT YOU USE ONIONS EVER"
Meanwhile I'm crying fetal position in the corner cause even I don't get it.
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just signed a 1 year lease to move in with my new gf, she is a keeper, hates onions even more than I do!
Garb-O ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same man, onions taste great but the texture makes me gag
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:54:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlackWhiteCat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have found my people.
LividWonk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Different strokes. My mom would put onions on her onions, in things that didn't need onions...so my childhood was lousy with food loaded by overcooked rings of gooey caramelized bulb slices with the texture and consistency of boiled tapeworms. It's been fifteen years since I had to deal with that, and it's still foremost in my mind.
That said, I do agree, the taste is necessary. I just mince or rice the damn things, or even undercook them a touch then hide them in water chestnuts.
lets_have_a_farty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll probably let you eat it
KA1N3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onions feel like a Blitzkrieg on my tastebuds.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people can't habe onions. For example my mother in law has colitis. Onions are very bad for her.
dali01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely love onions. However, I developed a serious allergy to them and they destroy me. Intense pain in the abdomen, sometimes to the point of hospitalization..
You don't realize how hard they are to avoid until you can't have them! And you don't even want to know the things I would do just to be able to eat ONE damn onion ring.. it's been 16 years.. ๐
NameMyExDoesntKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me with tomatoes. Loved em when I was a kid. Now they'll kill me. Avoiding them is brutally difficult because they're in everything. Cross contamination is a real threat because nobody expects someone to have a serious tomato allergy.
dali01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird how that can happen.. kiwis too. I absolutely LOVE kiwi. Ate them my whole life.. then one day I ate two and almost died. I miss kiwi as much as I do onions.. :(
A_huge_waffle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:10:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't eat onion like you eat an apple you're wrong
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't eat either, what am I?
A_huge_waffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lizard person
PokerPancake ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:35:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I didn't know there were others like me...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:37:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/onionhate
rlaxowns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/ofcoursethatsathing
imepicerthenyou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/subredditsashashtags
Mac4491 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's 3 of us!
Cheech47 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:50:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AND MY
AXEFOURTH!After a good amount of experimentation, I think I narrowed my onion hate. Raw/barely cooked onions, like those you'd see in in Chipotle salsa/guac, pizza, or some stir-fry? Fuck that shit completely. Caramelized onions? Not bad, as long as they are thoroughly cooked and browned. Fried onion loaf (ala Tony Roma's) or something like the Outback Bloomin' Onion? That shit's going in my face.
Iceflame2001 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just put onion powder instead of actual onions
abbs403 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:53:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even a close comparison. Fresh onion is always better
VonKai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:54:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
calm down
TheActualAWdeV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HERESY
sEntientUnderwear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You posted like 16 times.
smokingbuds420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old friend of mine refused to eat onions. Couldn't stand them. Little did he know, my mins pasta sauce was loaded with tiny tiny onions that he ate every time he came over.
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I eat onion rings and shit like that, but if you can taste the onion apart from the rest of the ingredients then I start gagging...
GuyIncognit0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't agree with the taking out part but stir fry needs big pieces of onion.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I put in whole onions.
ethanfez45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go onion powder if you don't like the feel of onions but like the taste. Or completely mince them.
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the taste 100 percent. I eat onion rings though because, let's be honest, the onion ends up being a tasteless vehicle for that deep fried batter goodness.
lucky_ducker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use frozen pearl onions, those are easy to pick out and give to someone who likes extra onion.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of them might be in big chunks and slightly fried but most of them are going to be finely diced and sweated in order to get as much flavour out of it as possible.
ronocyorlik ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...wat
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allergies, it's a thing...
HALBowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ill tell you what i tell everyone else. Cook for me and you can have it the way you want it..
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:14:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I ask is large chunks and I even said please. So yeah, I guess you don't care if I come over when you cook, good luck keeping friends with that attitude...
HALBowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you ask is large chunks, something that won't cook properly or be worth putting into a lot of dishes. I don't like large onion but I love onion. About the friends thing, it's the Internet so everyone has an opinion.
oaschbeidl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't like onions, I'm not sure I wanna get along with you...
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cripes man, never met anyone with allergies?
Your criteria is fucking high health wise lol...
oaschbeidl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually one of my best friends is allergic to onions and he would probably literally shit himself if he ate anything that was cooked with onions. So we obviously cook extra for him on vacations etc.
Which all doesn't really matter because it was a joke anyways, that was merely aimed to express my love for onions.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They can be. In fact if you're making a real good timbalo (with offal, not just mince) you don't add garlic and onion.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then I don't want to make any real good timbaloes!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nona is disappointed.
CaptainGrandpa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a co-worker that can't eat either because of an allergy. I responded as if someone had died when he told me
mjselvig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:55:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the same thing. I can't eat most food. I just say that I'm allergic to life.
GMY0da ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT WAS IT
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:21 on July 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang it got deleted? It was a bunch of recipes for varying kinds of stir-fry. With garlic and (spring) onions optional.
lbaus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you and fuck onions r/onionhate will prosper
marshsmellow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nor is ginger in my home.
HALBowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, don't be sorry
Thatsnowconeguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what if they're a vampire
bananaplasticwrapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not alone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I was fucking thinking???
dmt1988 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't agree more
Death_Star_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only really thing that shouldn't be optional is the only thing that is truly unobtainable for 99.99% of people.
For legit stir fry, you need a burner that cooks hot flames like up to your face. Otherwise no matter what recipe you use on your $300 wok, it will never taste like Chinese style stir fry due to the lack of the...wok burn.
Not only do you need a burner like that, but either a pro style kitchen or an outdoor cooking area with a mini roof that can handle that sort of heat.
SgtGears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The onions are sure as fuck optional you monster.
dragon-storyteller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, onions are mandatory, garlic is poison.
Red_Chairface ยท 178 points ยท Posted at 11:08:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm both ashamed and impressed that you were able to make me bookmark a buzzfeed page.
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:01:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 ways to cook stirfry that will SHOCK you!
NotOpsMom457 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:14:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Number 4 IN A WOK!!! We couldn't see that coming.
Wereling ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:09:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's any consolation, I didn't find it on Buzzfeed, I found it on Reddit. Wonderful image re-gifting!
WhyNotThinkBig ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:31:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also it's not originally from Buzzfeed, it's from cooksmarts.com
Wereling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:02:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know! Thanks!
MulberryPurple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, OP's comment was removed! Care to share the URL?
Red_Chairface ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:46:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You bet your ass I can!
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-12/25/13/enhanced/webdr08/enhanced-21992-1451069273-1.jpg
MulberryPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! You're swell.
Obscu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?!
rusty_L_shackleford ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:13:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most positive response I've ever seen redditors have to anything buzzfeed.
ShouniAishaKuma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:25:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese man chiming in here - I'm fairly certain if I put corn starch or ketchup in my stir fry sauces my mother would disown me.
Like someone else mentioned - garlic and ginger are not optional. Maybe green onion/shallots, but why would you want to reduce your flavor profile?
My recipe for sauce when I stir fry is very simple - soy sauce, rice vinegar, Chinese rock sugar (ground fine ahead of time), garlic, and ่ๅนฒๅฆ (Lao Gan Ma).
Fuck outta here with the ketchup.
Edit: Wok is also not optional. Gives you better heat control (given only the bottom is actually touching the heat source), and also allows you to toss the food more effectively (getting a good even coating on all the food).
Edit2: If you ever want a really good sauce for ็้ข (ran mian), you can pretty much use the same recipe I mentioned above, but substitute black vinegar for rice vinegar and lessen the sugar added. Put green onions, ginger and garlic in a small sauce pan with a bit of cooking oil and let those aromas go free. Then add the sauce mixture and let that reduce. Good shit for ran mian. My mom made that all the time and it's still a staple in quick cooking for me. It's kinda like spaghetti aglio e olio.
0rangeJEWlious ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 10:28:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap that's so convenient! Are there more recipes in this kind of style.
-HundredEyes- ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 12:34:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.buzzfeed.com/christinebyrne/cooking-charts?utm_term=.yfadJkJ7zl#.ireVwQwZpJ
PiLamdOd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:56:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of saved.
MasteroftheHallows ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:12:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya anyone got these all on a imgur album by any chance?
Clodhoppa81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love the substitutes section. If you don't have baking powder just substitute creme of tartar and baking soda. If I don't have baking powder I sure as shit don't have creme of tartar.
Banzai51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't use the hand meat done-ness test. Use an instant read thermometer.
zach2992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone have the Encyclopedia of Pasta somewhere read-able?
MasterBet ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 12:55:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted because of buzzfeed
acruz80 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:00:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted because of asshole.
MasterBet ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted because I banged your mom
genericname__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted because of 12 yr old
MasterBet ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted because of unoriginal
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:44:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait wait... Not taking sides here, but you're calling him unoriginal when your first response to him was "I banged your mom"...?
MasterBet ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was true..I banged his mom so i think he is my son
genericname__ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:58:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck you smoking.
nothingbutnoise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most stir-frys are cooked on the maximum heat possible to get the best flavor. Medium-high is definitely not what I would recommend using, especially on a home stovetop.
wameron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a wok necessary or will any large pan do?
nothingbutnoise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The round bottom makes it easier to control the direct heat exposure to prevent the food from burning while cooking. You could probably pull off something with a regular pan, but you'll want to cook in small batches I think.
Cacafonix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually on a normal stove top always use a normal frying pan, wok stoves allow the flame to go up to the sides. Most stoves don't work that way. A normal pan will give you more surface to cook and a lot better than a wok.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally agreed. Go watch any Asian restaurant or Asians in general cook and they've got Thai motherfucker running on afterburner they've got the heat that high.
Also you need the heat that high to dear and seal the meat and heat the veg through whole keeping then crunchy. I find most other white people seem to be afraid of using such high heat to cook anything, and white people stirfries are sad, limp, overcooked, oversauced lumps of poop.
charliegent ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:49:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right on grocery day too!!!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, this seemed so useful that I printed it out a year or 2 ago and put it as a book on my fridge.....then I never used it.
Thanks for reminding me.
Air_Hellair ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely. Sometimes during the vegetable phase if I want things cooked more, I'll add a scant half a cup of water or stock and clap a lid on to get them steamed. Remove the lid after a couple-3 minutes and give it a shake, that water won't be there long if your wok is hot enough.
Yosarian2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:29:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting a link to the Vegan Black Metal Chef.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eovuIfeH2k4
LadyBrisingr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanna step up your game, instead of adding cornstarch during the saucing process, add cornstarch AND baking soda during the seasoning process.** baking soda acts as a natural tenderizer and baking soda and cornstarch together with the process of oil frying in the wok is a technique called "velveting" which is popular in Asian cooking. It's why the meat is so tender at Chinese restaurants.
**Bonus tip: Marinades are made up of three important parts. Salt--to lock in moisture. Acid--to tenderize. Oil--because a lot of spices are oil soluble. I usually use Soy Sauce for salt because soy sauce also adds an umami flavor. Lime for acid. And regular vegetable oil along with up to two spices like cayenne pepper or ginger powder.
ALSO Cornstarch is easy to thicken sauces, but I would honestly just double the sauce ratio and then let it simmer and evaporate into a thicker sauce cuz the sugar will naturally caramelize and thicken the sauce.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was looking for an excuse to trip tonight.
yaavsp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just saved, but downloaded! r/madlads
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a copy of this saved as well, in case I can't get to imgur.
F3TTST3R ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any chance you could post it as the OP deleted their comment and I was not wise enough to save it first?
rektevent2015 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:53:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, meat should never be cubed if you want anything resembling fine quality
Edits And cornstarch!? The fuck? No you use onion and fry it with a little water, adding a bit at a time, to thicken the sauce base, if youre really struggling to thicken the sauce, add rice flour (that you have dissolved in a small cup of boiled water on the side)
Edits Also for sweet and sour- better to use barbecue sauce than ketchup - conceding defeat after reading through this recipe guide. Bbq will taste closer to hoisin style flavour once caramalised
GangsterRaspberry ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 12:43:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you on the "not cubing meat thing" but dude using a cornstarch slurry to thicken Asian sauces is so easy and good. I agree it's not incredibly authentic but it's quick, it's delicious, and everybody's going to be able to find it at any grocery store. What more could you want?
Flyingwheelbarrow ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:58:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also it is used in many restaurants as well due to being cheap but reliable. That chart was all about easy. Cornflour is easy.
theflyingrusskie ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It totally is authentic
ScrambledNegs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how am I supposed to cut my meat?
GangsterRaspberry ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:35:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer thin slices myself, then there's more surface area to volume ratio for searing. I follow the general rubric for stir fry all the time and when I do I get my big frying pan nice and hot (I don't have a wok), apply a thin coating of oil (veg oil mixed with a little sesame oil because I'm worth it) and then place all the pieces of meat on the hot surface and DONT MOVE THEM AT ALL until I flip them. They get a delicious sear and leave a bit of fond and meat fat which the vegetables then cook in, lending them a delicious savory flavor along with whatever else I use to season them.
luxitania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like you taste it... it's a textural thing. Dude needs more cornstarch in his life.
redranger41 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:33:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, here in South East Asia at least, we normally use starch to thicken sauces, but I'm not really sure.
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:02:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? I've literally seen cornfields in Nepal, and helped carry dried corn to a mill in a village.
No corn in asia... Shuddup
JaFFsTer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:59:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cornstarch is a huge part of asian cooking. gtfo
ZhaJiangLiu ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:04:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes we do
Kaluro ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:53:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homing in from South Korea, Yes we do.
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:03:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, this gai jin doesn't know asia.
RhinoceRoss ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:05:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a valid point... But you DO know that there is corn in Asia? The fuck you talking about?
chinadonkey ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:09:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grilled corn, Vietnam
Corn & crab soup, Vietnam
Pizza Hut Pizza with corn, Japan
rektevent2015 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 13:27:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Americanised
Siantlark ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Random Redditor from Perth fucking Australia tells Asians that they're not Asian enough.
In other news, Water is wet.
juggernaut8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:11:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they use cornstarch, it's a staple in most chinese cooking for that golden, glistening look.
rektevent2015 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:55:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corn has only been an ingredient in china, korea, vietnam and japan (and other western influenced countrys to a lesser extent) for a short period of time.
Onion has been the traditional thickening agent, cornstarch is very new reletively across central asia, more uncommon in the rest of asia.
Corn is from central america, so anyone saying cornstarch is asian has no idea. Cornstarch is american, even europeans wont use corn starch in cooking, because corn is american, its not traditional in the rest of the world
Cornstarch is not healthy, or authentic
juggernaut8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is claiming it's healthy or that it was used hundreds of years ago. I don't know how far it goes back but it's been used for a long time now (easily over 100 years) in most Chinese cuisines. Go to Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, Singapore, Malaysia and eat Chinese food there and you'll see that cornstarch is commonly used.
rektevent2015 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:39:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No way, (generally) cornstarch specifically is not used in singapore, you will even struggle to find it in shops, it is common in the philippines, not malaysia either, very rare in mainland china.
juggernaut8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, I'm in Malaysia at the moment. Are you seriously trying to bullshit me about it? I'm talking about Chinese food here btw in case you're trying to be clever.
rektevent2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes chinese take-away resturant 'stir-fry' uses corn starch. Because its cheap. What malaysian cuisine uses it? How many malaysians cook with it at home? The Malaysian grannies I know use tapioca flour. Which is way more common across all asia than corn flour - eg: all desserts. Bubble tea. etc
juggernaut8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give it a rest dude, yes tapioca starch is used but so is corn starch. You want a dish? Ok here Have you been to Malaysia? Are you Malaysian? Or are you some ang moh trying to pretend like he knows what he's talking about?
CosmoKram3r ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:49:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you even on about?? Tell me you were sarcastic, please.
rektevent2015 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ofcourse. My point still stands though. I dare you to find an authentic recipe more than 30 years old that has corn starch in the ingredients.
CosmoKram3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you edit & remove that sentence from your previous comment if your point still stands? I'm confused.
rektevent2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To stop new comments
Ethnicmike ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see oyster sauce either. And only one sauce with fish sauce. :(
xiangK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay
Cabbagepatchorphan ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:02:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy stir-frys.
OJSTheJuice ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:49:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then how should I cut my meat?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:16:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only six faced prisms, nothing else.
BeefbrothTV ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slice it thinly, on a bias, and against the grain.
Shockwaves35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:03:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a blanket statement that could maybe use some qualifiers.
rektevent2015 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:32:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes i was generalising
Siantlark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cornstarch to thicken sauce is normal in like, most everywhere in Asia I think.
It's completely fine and no one knows the difference or, if they do, cares.
GrantNexus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They used ketchup in stir fry? /r/ketchuphate needs to see this.
rektevent2015 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yah . Nuts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask why? Doesn't the smokey flavour kind of spoil it?
Siantlark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just use ketchup dude. This Aussie is just being a pedantic ass about their food. Most Asians I know would use ketchup over bbq sauce in sweet and sour sauce.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you find cornstarch objectionable potato starch works as well.
squishybloo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, corn starch is a pretty damn close approximation to kudzu or katakuri starch. Who cares if you're not into buying nearly-identical-but-expensive thickeners?
bungopony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rice starch is popular
Banzai51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burnt Ends.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If cornstarch isn't authentic enough the the hell is bbq sauce?
rektevent2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than ketchup
THIS_IS_CHARR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have literally had an old Indonesian woman recommend that I use tepung jagung for a thicker, faster sauce. It may not be the original way to do it but fuck it can't get more authentic than a 70yo brown woman in a hijab who speaks zero english.
Krallenhand ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see you're a man of culture aswell.
TzTok-Adam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I've saved it as well, very useful tbh.
typehazard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now my favorite
GuardianOfAsgard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
Dreamincolr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My gf has this saved on hers too lol.
Stair-case ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my gf make stir-fry every friday. Do you know how we call it?
gigibuffoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should make a poster of this
thatguy314z ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
ThatScottishRedditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also have this saved!
musedrainfall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there was a book of modular recipes like this I would be all over that.
WheezyTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thx
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
havron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it's gone. What happened? I wanted to learn how to stir fry. =\
NameIdeas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I've saved this. Excellent!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is now my favorite thing in my saved list.
buzzbash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need a wok to do stir fry, fwiw.
PiLamdOd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have that image saved to my phone and tablet for whenever I feel like cooking something that looks impressive.
avryanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i hate it when i found recipe i can follow, but the ingredient measurement is on cup tablespoon etc
steam116 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there an advantage to using a wok?
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Temperature control and technique.
RockitMane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
brand_x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not right. That's not right at all. The sauces are all wrong. The cooking temperature is too low, the cooking times are too long, the lemon is... what the fuck is with the lemon?!
AileStriker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking saved
zebra_asylum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey can you link me what it was? He deleted the comment.
xgelx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leaving a comment for future referencing
Dufranus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to my saved section
missionbeach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're cooking on a large commercial grill where the flame can reach all around your wok, it's better to use a non-stick skillet with a flat bottom for stir fry.
Source: America's Test Kitchen
Ark_Reige ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love you. Thank you for this
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
Iam_MittRomney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was it?
Iam_MittRomney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's gone now :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to try this out. Thank you ๐
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
PuffyMeatPurse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved! Thanks.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
Dirty-Freakin-Dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what was it? It's deleted
TheShadowAisles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, this is helpful. Thanks
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
pdonoso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now im going to save this
libelle156 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With rice 10/10
thisisnotdan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quick question: how would I make General Tso's chicken? Is it already there under a different name?
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. General Tso's chicken is actually more of a deep fried dish. If you're looking for a tasty fried chicken try this: (https://norecipes.com/karaage-recipe).
Nico_is_not_a_god ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, karaage. Turns out as long as you don't call it chicken nuggets it removes the stigma. See also "boneless wings"
An aside, the parent comment for this was deleted, anyone have it on hand?
MadSkillsMadison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck what a gift
california_wombat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool
tm0neyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this is absolutely a game changer. I've been looking for new ways to cook to impress my long distance girlfriend of Chinese descent, and I can't wait to utilize this. It will be a nice surprise, and I can only hope it's half as good as her father's.
Thanks so much for sharing!!
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will warn you that i can't speak to the authenticity of the method, only that the results work out pretty well.
tm0neyz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either way, it's an opportunity for me to try. Perhaps I won't make it for her this weekend (next time I get to see her), and rather will try to perfect it over the coming weeks/months so when I finally do make it for her, it's the best it can be.
It may have just been a random, convenient Buzzfeed post that you found and shared with us all, but allowing me to try and connect with her on a different level (I'm Caucasian) is worth a ton more to me and I hope it makes her happy. I always look for things like this to do for her, and can't wait to give it my all. Thanks again!
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you should absolutely make it! It'll taste good no matter how "authentic" it is.
PM-ME-UR-NITS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this. I literally made stir fry tonight and it was so shite that I made a promise to myself to actually look up a proper recipe or method for making it.
Godsend.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
thespicyjim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's awesome.
KaikesPokeCards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this saved for about a week, and had been planning to make a great stir fry. Thanks for reminding me, I will give it a shot in a few days!
whiterook6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH SHIT I CAN JUST SAVE THIS POST!
HippieSoulPunx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
Zero_teh_Hero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the very first thing I ever saved on reddit!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
HannasAnarion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want something noodley for your stir fry but without the carbs, check out Shirataki.
It tastes like rice noodles, but it's zero calorie, zero carbs.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I have been looking for something almost exactly like that! Thanks!
HannasAnarion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem! It comes in fluid, you have to strain it and then wash it (it's safe to eat but the liquid has a funny smell), and then it's good to toss in!
I always get the 6-packs on Amazon that come with fetuccine, spaghetti, and rice shapes.
Exopinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nobody mentions buzzfeed?
BUZZFEED
ethanlan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the full one? I had it and lost them :(
Mothimania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend and I use a very similarly-styled graphic when we make stir-fry!
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you find it?
Mothimania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a physical piece of paper, I'd have to check it when I get back from vacation, haha. It's on the fridge.
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be very interested to see if if you'd care to take a photo. I love guides like these.
Mothimania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, I think It's a slightly stripped down version of the guide you have. Just asked my girlfriend and she said it was Cooksmarts. Just formatted differently.
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did you get it?
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I found it!
Mothimania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao, that is it exactly! How the hell did you find it so fast?
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Cook Smart, since that was the original source, and then looked in their shop. There it was! They actually have a few really cool guide posters there.
Mothimania ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:11:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome, we'll have to check it out when we get back. Thanks for the info!
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
MasterGanjaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this...you are doing the lord's work.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome.
flakkannonen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As stevie wonder would say " I can't see shit"... no but seriously is this how to make stir fry for ants? Everyone is pumped about this and I'm just trying to read it...
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The image expands to a larger size. If you're on mobile, different apps will handle and image that size differently. Try printing it off if you need to.
flakkannonen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably due to the fact that I had to revert back to an s4 because my s6 died on me yesterday, that phone could do a lot more...
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could certainly do it. Maybe try a dedicated image viewing program?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd bet wrong.
IsomDart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only restaraunts really have woks though. I guess some people might have them at home but I've never seen it
theAmazingDead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:11:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't imagine not having a wok in the house. Always had one or two in the kitchen as far back as I can remember, and was one of the first 'pans' i bought when i moved out on my own. Woks are wonderful!
IsomDart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess a gas stove could work as a wok, do you have a picture of your wok? I just have never seen a home model one.
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one, though since I have an electric range TBH I usually just use a pan.
IsomDart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a gas stove which on high gets pretty dang hot and can definitely cook stuff pretty fast but I wouldn't call it a wok. A wok has like a turbine I think to pull the most oxygen possible to get as hot as it does.
dweorg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A wok is a big, bowled pan. Youre thinking of something entirety different.
IsomDart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know what it is, but it has a flame underneath necessary for flash cooking. You can have the big, bowled pan and cook what you're cooking on say an electric stove, but it really defeats the purpose. The point of a wok is to get it very hot so what you are making "flash cooks." I guess you are kind of right in the sense that what you put the wok on is a wok range, but the two really aren't, or shouldn't be, mutually exclusive. See this video- https://youtu.be/oX62hKkcb6s
nextofkinma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 minutes for a stir fry?
Wereling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prep time makes that take a little longer, and I like to serve them over rice so that takes time to cook. Total cooking time though is very low, as stir-fry is a high heat process. Beat that in mind when choosing protein.
nextofkinma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yes but 10 minutes is far too long to be cooking a stir fry (though I hadn't seen that they also suggest medium high heat). In the Chinese restaurants I've worked in the wok burners are like jet engines so the woks get super hot.
Wereling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume that this guide was written under the assumption that it would need to be used with a standard gas or electric range.
Zaldrizes ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brings a tear to my eye. (NFSW)
http://i.imgur.com/BfyAD23.gif
Killface17 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:12:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remy, Remy, Remy.... The only pornstar I know by name
Zaldrizes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remy LaCroix?
If so that is insane because a podcast I was listening to mentioned her as a favourite pornstar! Crazy coincidence.
Ex_Why_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:10:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's a lot of peoples favorites... Definitely in my all time top 3.
Killface17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
CapedNate ยท 657 points ยท Posted at 10:25:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5r9qtm/how_would_you_describe_reddit_to_a_friend_who_has/dd5ojpi
I always had a hard time describing reddit until I saw this thread.
HISTORYBLAST ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:18:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just the internet tho.
BrendenOTK ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:13:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so TL;DR: Reddit is the whole internet, but on one website.
PM-ME-UR-PIERCINGS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:56:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HISTORYBLAST ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Bradfordshire Concept.
J_House1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that?
HISTORYBLAST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:11 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prove it.
clamberrypie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:41:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My TL;DR:
Reddit is the very best and very worst of the Internet with very little of the middle.
procass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gold. Saved!
William_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really is brilliant!
KJ6BWB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psh. Reddit is easy to describe. "You know Facebook groups? Imagine that, but it's all groups, nothing but groups, and there's no pictures there. You have to post pictures on a separate website."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel a little bad for that commenter. He's got 23,000 points on that single comment, and 5x Gold, but his Karma score is only 14,500.
That user peaked too early it seems.
Musherer ยท 11069 points ยท Posted at 11:11:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/KTKEAhr.gifv
ramblingnonsense ยท 1549 points ยท Posted at 12:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's something very Cyriak about this...
FlameSpartan ยท 856 points ยท Posted at 13:30:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god... If I have to remember, you do, too.
ramblingnonsense ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 13:45:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorites! Allow me to traumatize you further!
Tee_Hee_Helpmeplz ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:35:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean enlighten.
theRailisGone ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:41:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cyriak doesn't traumatise. He brings great joy. If you want to deal lasting damage with just one video Resnick is the way to go.
KatieTheDinosaur ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:41:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of don't get it. The first half made sense, but I'm not sure what was going on the second half.
kumiosh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:33:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prescription (OTC maybe?) drugs are driving her insane. The insane her is running her life while the sane part is striving to get back in control.
william_fontaine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bear
woutmees ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:17:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how they made an equally fucked up website to accompany this video.
Spend a few minutes on that website. It gets crazy. There's also a secret hidden on it.
youaremom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:13:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/alanresnick
corsair238 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't look away. What the fuck.
BesottedScot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
Ocarina654 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me, what?
newdawn79 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:43:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just discovered my cats hate Cyriak videos. Especially the cats one.
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually extremely impressive compositing
CVance1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Bloodborne
Thachyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"At that moment of Brain-blasting realisation, I ceased to be a man. I became another avatar for the thing to control"
xMissElphiex ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:24:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more a Kitty City fan myself.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:57:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always liked the other cat one
xMissElphiex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:59:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never saw this one, thank you for this gift.
woutmees ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:22:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did another one with cats for Run the Jewels.
INVICTU5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I stayed away from Meow the Jewels because I thought it was stupid. Had no idea cyriak was a video collab.
Disclaimer: I LOVE everything else RTJ, I just do not think Meow the Jewels serves any purpose other than existing as a joke.
moonra_zk ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:40:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, hairy spider cows
overrule ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:39:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fuck it was okay until the spiders.
Piscator629 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:53:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Yeah? Look at my Horse. nsfw
infinitelytwisted ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:06:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the worst part is that the song actually isnt bad. im going to have this in my head for days -_-
OneSmoothCactus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should check out Magical Trevor then
FlameSpartan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this
Piscator629 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:00:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memorieeees, so beautiful and briiiight.......
TheBeardOfZues ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:42:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that video.
TheFeshy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:52:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the first web videos I ever showed my daughter. She was young enough that animals were still new to her. The way she just nonchalantly accepted the "spider cow" as if it were a real thing always gets me.
Im_The_Real_Batman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I found this through =3 back in like 2010, 2011
FlameSpartan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:44:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it really that recent? I could swear this was like 08 or so
Edit: well fuck, how time flies.
Pokemon_Hoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why couldn't I stop watching that?
FlameSpartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's morbidly mesmerizing. That's what he does, and I'll be fucked if he isn't good at it.
nifi22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really is a surrealist masterpiece
deanwashere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:40:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky for us, there's moore where that came from...
MenachemSchmuel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did some streams recently of him going over his old videos, talking about how and why he did what he did. It's pretty great.
randomharun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually enjoy these.
Robotic_Pedant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This walk down memory lane just blew my 4yo kid's mind.
FlyestFools ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck did I just watch.
FlameSpartan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know
TKHawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy how nature do that.
OMGWTFSTAHP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
chandleross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's the greatest thing i've ever seen
Year3030 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be even better if we got some guy with a russian accent to moo to the tune of Danzig's 'Mother'.
SirZammerz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might like this
skittrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh don't you get me started on watching Welcome to Kitty City again
IWatchGifsForWayToo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have to, you mean I get to! This video is awesome.
gungir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids, Don't do meth!
blizpix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, I've never heard of this Cyriak fellow before and I just spent an hour watching his videos...what have you done
gcbeehler5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife it said it reminds her of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcZUPDMXzJ8
brdzgt ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:11:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a name I haven't heard in a while
Bangersss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't believe the B3ta newsletters have started again.
EnkoNeko ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:11:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the way they popped into being
mechakreidler ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:24:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the bounciness
KILLGUN345 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:31:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Christ don't remind me. I tried to forget. I TRIED TO FORGET.
SquidsOgro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:39:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cyriak is what my nightmares are about. The creations are satisfying yet terrifying!
skywreckdemon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love Cyriak. I can't believe I've never encountered somebody else on Reddit who loves him before you.
QueenOfHoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh doge i love Cyriak and that was the first thing in my mind too
DammitDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's certainly unsettling
dreamivory ยท 728 points ยท Posted at 12:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually hysterical. The horses work so well.
Spoogly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:38:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The live leak logo gets me.
Thrasher250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a version of this with a dubstep song in the background that makes it even better.
ILoveToEatLobster ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah....totally hysterical.....
jayhawk1141 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:49:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oppa Gangnam style!
Faildemon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was looking for.
incuban ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:52:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opening this coincidentally during the breakdown of a metalcore track was a life affirming experience.
Its_not_a ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:03:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/5P0y6lbTVyk
Better with sound.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:44:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved!
Rhody2014 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant stop watching
thesanchelope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:48:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Badger badger badger badger badger badger
ReyJae ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:45:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone i know laughed at this. I actually thought it was badass.
MythicalMayhemx ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:49:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a shit morning at work, and this has rectified it this is hilarious
Musherer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm glad this brightened your day
SnailFricker69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This deserves more attention
tuddyScuffles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:49:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh fuck that's amazing
Kingsepron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
jefferlewpew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This ones got me, I have tears running down my face from laughing
cj_x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so better with sound.
249ba36000029bbe9749 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, that's kinda amusing but not really...holy fuck! LOL!"
Debtpass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me crack up, I showed my coworker and he did too. Thanks for making my day haha
Musherer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey no problem! It's great that you both got a laugh out of it :)
KalleJoKI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the "cows cows cows" video
EnkoNeko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yepp, Cyriak was the first thing I thought about when those horses popped into existence.
Asoxus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT
Unexpected_reference ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expected Psy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh I remember this one. A classic!
Spartan_029 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish the horses were on treadmills
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE FUUUUCK
ShelSilverstain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at those horses
TreDayWayWay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why doesn't everyone get to ride a horse... ๐
ElectionOf1800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMERICAN PHARAOH IS GONNA WIN THE KENTUCKY DERBY
Nylysius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even better because they're in time with the music I'm listening to.
Doggo_Of_Wisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That just looks like slavery with extra steps...
Stackhouse_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually seems likw its be a good workout
Nicekicksbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking epic
Nole_in_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this gif before but I always have expectations when seeing that Liveleak watermark
spellox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
alright I randomly opened up that gif and synced up to a fucking screamo song I was listening to...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Call on me" is on the radio right now, fits pretty well with the gif!
thealexglee ยท 4227 points ยท Posted at 10:16:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video makes me laugh everytime
NukeML ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 13:50:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is just like the "ah fuck. i cant believe you've done this"
Omfinite ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 22:11:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From your comment I thought it was going to be this
song_pond ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 23:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way Ron responds is incredible. She's taking a quiet moment out of her day to watch a peaceful scene of deer at her window. Then her stupid husband sneezes and the fighting starts again.
I have no idea why that's so funny to me.
smegma_legs ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:15:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me of the tuba scream guy
ukulela ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 13:52:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of those videos I randomly start thinking about then I can't stop laughing
babybigballs ยท 521 points ยท Posted at 11:07:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU SO MUCH
truth__bomb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:33:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm sick af right now and this was a much needed buoy to my spirit.
ascetic_lynx ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 12:51:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're welcome so much?
gambitx007 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:09:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So much welcome
FlameSpartan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:40:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such wow
JFedererJ ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 13:59:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooohhhahahwwwhayyyyissuaasssssSSTAAHHPPP!! XD
DRosesStationaryBike ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
xDDDDD
CAT_BOOGR_TURBO_DONG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehxdeee!
skeletongrandma ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 13:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched this 20 times now...only stopped to comment this
SickleWings ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 13:43:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been 40 minutes, you've now potentially watched it 240+ times. Do we need to send help?
skeletongrandma ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:46:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont need help. This is GREAT!
chuckdooley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even more impressive cause YouTube doesn't loop like streamable
gibberish5387 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:03:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chuckdooley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind blown, I don't use youtube too often so this is handy.
Thank you
bradshawmu ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op ded
gwentissential ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, OP is skeletongrandma.
thealexglee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP is me
[deleted] ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 16:17:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me of this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejGXQx4NW8k
xelf ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 18:36:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this guy...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T2oje4cYxw
Guildenpants ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:19:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way she looks at him though. So full of annoyed love.
bullintheheather ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:40:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sees Kolon and is just too overwhelmed with the possibilities.
futboi91 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:51:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daana
milkradio ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:16:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how is she not crying laughing because i'm dyingggg
BesottedScot ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:06:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww they're so cute. Relationship goals.
Ajaxlancer ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:45:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S A D
A N D
S I N G L E
BesottedScot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:50:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well when you're still in love with your ex its bound to happen kwam. Only split up a month ago.
bullintheheather ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A month, a year and a half, it's all the same.
Ajaxlancer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:03:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit dude that sucjs. I meant that I was sad and single lol
mattwithoutyou ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:21:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you've done this.
BesottedScot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no worries, all it takes is time.
Godd2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sas ani ddn?
Dwarfdeaths ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:58:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That third time she yelled twice. Pretty sure she scared herself.
Summerie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that could have gone on longer and I would have been fine with it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you watch them all? there's like 6 more
endless_limits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:07 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She looks like a cross between Ariana Grande and the older sister from Stranger Things
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:58:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably the most easily scared person I've seen in my life.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:10:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think she's just deathly afraid of Hank Hill.
GamerGoblin ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 13:19:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/ContagiousLaughter
_AnonOp ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:14:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The scoobydoo laugh is what gets me the best ๐
winnebagomafia ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:09:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Important videos ?
JB_Big_Bear ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:26:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BWAHSTAAHP!
WyleECoyote-Genius ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:55:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK, this made me seriously laugh cry.
ErinPink ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best one on the thread
tperelli ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fucking shit this is the greatest video I've ever seen hahahahahahah
SnailFricker69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:12:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing this
thealexglee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem :)
p3t3r133 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:46:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've literally watched this 20 times with my wife and MIL in the room. They are judging me but I can't remember laughing this hard ever
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit like 8 replays after and it's still just as funny
sirfiggynewton ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:06:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I've watched this way too many times.
Chuckeltard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, so good
jsn124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So am I. Thank you!!!
garethkeenans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Important videos I presume
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend I watch this video pretty much every week
Illinformedpseudoint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gets funnier every time!
ImUsuallyTony ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been looking for this forever!!
cdsackett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That laugh is perfect r/contagiouslaughter
kristinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she looks like the smoking beer guy
Devadander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:38 on August 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my stomach hurts from laughing so hard
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 15:13:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
koala_cola ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 15:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the save feature is for.
Shit, you're in the thread about the best things people have saved.
kahib ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:41 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah not quite used to this site yet sorry.
koala_cola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:19 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok :)
HawkinsonB ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 14:18:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HIS LEGS ๐๐
Edwardk85 ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 13:23:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to imagine the one where he's outside the house are after she's left him.
JB_Big_Bear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:30:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's kind of harsh, isn't it? You really think she'd leave him over scaring her once?
Edwardk85 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 15:36:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was mostly laughing at the idea that she's left him and he's still creepily stalking her as if he thinks he's being endearing.
JB_Big_Bear ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, though?
Doorknob11 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people just suck.
3dogears ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 13:44:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. Now it's 421.
Bored_Pigeon ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 11:50:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Writing Prompt story, Villians have a soft spot for old Hero It is such a wholesome read.
CeaRhan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:07:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is another one in the thread that has a time manipulation hero starring in it, and it's well worth a read too.
Halikan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's the one I'm thinking of where two evil henchmen get a time manipulation hero to help find a retired hero they have a soft spot for, that thing made me cry, but it was great.
Bored_Pigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the suggestion, will give it a look :)
framesftw ยท 722 points ยท Posted at 13:30:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comic I go to whenever I'm feeling a little down:https://i.redd.it/fjwzzxnotboy.jpg
BicBo1 ยท 217 points ยท Posted at 14:49:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
IWatchGifsForWayToo ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:08:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
Alek-Houdini ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:10:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
WhoaMilkerson ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:27:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
Slarkin252 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:38:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
Respect_The_Mouse ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
angusthedangus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat.
MachoManShark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:02:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ye
gnbman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:05:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YEE
Zarlem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
goose.
Tomerg91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:12 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeezy Yeezy whats good
Jindor ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:06:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should read the manga Yotsubato! if you like this kind of stuff. Read like 7 pages from this chapter and you get the idea http://www.mangareader.net/yotsubato/91/10
Dehouston ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I'm caught up. That was cute.
Jindor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
96 chapters in total, so have fun.
QuatschForReal ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:45:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit. The only place where can find a heartwarming comic with a little girl and her blanket right beneath a juicy lesbian porn video.
framesftw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love variety ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
402266 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:22:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cute.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
haidaloops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
k
Father_FuckYeah ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love when Shubbabang's comics make the rounds
Japots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hearts look like flies
purplelie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've been on reddit too long today, i half expected that to take a sick turn. Glad I was wrong, it was sweet.
[deleted] ยท 2538 points ยท Posted at 11:40:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People were talking about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure poses. And the person ask how can some one do this pose in real life.
http://i.imgur.com/Jyiksxs.jpg
And someone on a Spanish Facebook Page was able to replicate that pose.
http://imgur.com/JnoIrmN
ILikeCatsAndBoobs ยท 620 points ยท Posted at 12:47:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh... He must be leaning on his elbow, right?
Kayarjee ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 13:37:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock pushup.
greytiger ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:53:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is all you need.
jorgito93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a power slide though?
PouponMacaque ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That takes me back to the early days of stupid shit on the internet
Fortune090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the days of shitty soundboards...
Judazzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or as they say in the UK, a cock-up.
TheProudBrit ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 13:08:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NANI?!
Scarbane ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:15:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't fucking speak Japanese.
PervertBlondeCook ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2hayai
Zeroboy27 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:59:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
chimchar66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
Radioactive24 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:53:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HORY SHIIIIIIT!
Ohh-i-member ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 13:37:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OHH MAAH GOOOOD
lewisisgud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ForsenE
wheatleyisamoron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KANSEI DORIFTO!?
arashio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must be the work of an enemy stand!
rubsomebacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BACCANA!
AbacusG ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:20:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
H-Hiyai!
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 13:30:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mickyficky1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๏ผข ๏ผ ๏ผข๏ผก๏ผซ๏ผก๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผ
georgito555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TEKI NO STANDO KAAAAA!?
WannabeGroundhog ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:07:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, supporting himself with his Stand.
Tommy2255 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:38:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think so, but it's actually much simpler than that. The trick is to use the power of The Ripple.
DanD3n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMPOSSIBRU!
MonkeyboyGWW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
left
Why_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called having a solid core.
-Mountain-King- ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 13:41:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He even got the "be incredibly handsome" part down.
KyloRen3 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:49:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hola papinice pose, broPM_ME_YOUR_YAK ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:21:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yare yare daze.
laxt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:23:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, you ain't seen nothing on the internet until you've been to the Spanish Facebook.
DarthElevator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he leaning on his elbow but blocking it withjhis hand?
StochasticOoze ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:16:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is basically the thing Rob Liefeld would draw if he were Japanese.
PunxsatownyPhil ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:25:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, there's actually hands in it.
RanchyDoom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:54:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a few too many, though.
Daahkness ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's too accurate.
Ayesuku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:17:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This picture hurts my knees.
Grillburg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:04:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now replicate that dude's hairdo...
capybara_patrol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never skip
legcore day.Im_Here_To_Fuck ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 10:48:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5urecj/whats_the_most_obvious_sexual_advance_youve/
Obviously
Luap_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:01:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord that thread is painful to read.
_TheAssCrackBandit_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:50:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite one:
"I know I'm late to the party but I wanna include my bit, this happened about a year and a half ago.
We were watching a stereotypical action movie late at night and a scene came up where the protagonist was stroking/kissing a chick - it then got further, much further. She turned to me while biting her lips and said:
"I wish you could do that to me"
Ugh god... I was really drunk and tired at the time and just as she said that, the scene changed to a shooting scene which meant I completely misinterpreted the whole statement,
I saw that the main character on this DVD was shooting some generic russian guys,
So what did I do....
Fucking finger guns - imitating the movie...
Just thinking about it makes me want to shrivel up into a prune and die.
"Pew pew" I went.
The look on her face - which looked the most expressive I have ever seen someone. Picture a girl sitting opposite me with an expression as if I had just told her that she was raised by genetically modified penguins.
Why did you have to remind me of this Reddit."
Also, forgot to get the guy's user name, and I don't want to scroll for half an hour to try to find it again
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:04:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so weird when I think about all the cues I missed when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I used to agonize over the missed opportunities (I mean, I knew the offers were there, but I had no idea of how to capitalize on them), but now that I'm a forty-something father of six I mostly just feel relieved that I never caught any diseases.
Korncakes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:38:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God I must have read every story in that thread.
Treq-S ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How are people so oblivious??
cmath89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:36:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because dudes just think these types of scenarios will never ever happen to them. So when it does, they just dont know how to respond, I guess. Props to the girl in the top comment sorted by best, for not backing down and basically spellin it out for the guy.
eazolan ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:55:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple. Guys aren't treated as sexually desirable. So when a girl legit hits on one, he thinks he's mistaken.
milkradio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:31:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this can happen to plenty of girls and women as well if they didn't grow up thin and pretty or if they've had experiences where guys would ask them out as a prank.
thatsconelover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear, oh dear.
avacado_of_the_devil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the lesson to be learned from this thread is to always immediately call their bluff.
[deleted] ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 13:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This magnificent beast
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:45:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the beginning, when the horse realizes he can make the chicken make the sound...it like, clicks for him.
Makes you think that animals have personalities that maybe we're not aware of.
Singdancetypethings ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:03:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me someone's put Thunderstruck over this.
Professor_Terrible ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:27:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Immediately what came to mind: https://youtu.be/YscIaUSISKk
purplelie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:00:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I am at 1 in the morning watching a horse with a rubber chicken.
Thetravelingboy ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 14:47:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I already posted one but this helped me too much not to share:
"This is pretty old but I rediscovered it today when I was looking for a way to clear my stuffed nose so credit to /u/troutbum for this one amazing trick.
Step 1: Breathe in deeply.
Step 2: Slowly exhale all of your air and hold your breath until you are on empty. Pinch your nose to avoid cheating.
Step 3: Rock your head back and fourth slowly taking 2 seconds from looking at the sky to looking at the ground.
Step 4: Do it until you absolutely NEED a breath.
Step 5: Enjoy your clear nose.
Step 6: Profit!
Now life is just a little more bearable when you're sick."
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/555unf/lpt_how_to_clear_a_stuffed_nose/d88ha11/
_Nick_2711_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:52:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This works really well but comes with the great side effect of not knowing where the fuck I am for 3 seconds
RaidX44 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:22:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow
justSFWthings ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:07:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That... That actually worked. I mean not 100% but man did it help. I figured it was one of those things like "your car's fob works from farther away if you hold it under your chin and open your mouth!" kind of things where you're just making gullible people look stupid.
This isn't just in my head is it? It really works, right? Tell me it works. I need to hear the words.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
IceCreamBalloons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Once locked my car from across the street and 13 stories up. Nothing happened until I tried it with the fob under my chin.
Tunalic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a valet, it worked in my lot. Tested it and used it quite a bit.
Thetravelingboy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:25:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It shouldn't work, why the hell does it work? It works.
calmnchaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works because it's a radio wave. It will also work if you click it over the phone.
Th3RussianMafia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:32 on August 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This worked actually. Real nice trick!
iRaafISR ยท 855 points ยท Posted at 14:02:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obu. https://i.imgur.com/KxqbWZs.gifv
Technicalchawal ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 16:03:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A real life major major major major.
w00master ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love that book.
tripswithtiresias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Promoted by an IBM with a sense of humor
normopathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he really is Henry Fonda and he's just too chickenshit to admit it
CryptMonkey ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 21:24:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate Steve Harvey, but man do I love me some Steve Harvey.
monkey_bojangles ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:58:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya. Dislike him as a person, but man can he work a crowd.
NedryOS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thirded. His opinions are shit but he's an incredible orator. He's like a preacher.
VritraReiRei ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 20:35:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found a video of the whole thing. Thank you Family Feud for clipping the moment that actual mattered moment.
monkey_bojangles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great voices.
xxthe ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:07:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Steve I swear.
InsaneImmortal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:22:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Patrice's Tolu bit
TheLionHearted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:23 on September 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tolu
Batmanisoverrated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a sub with all of these on it? I love the funny moments from that show.
Milkshake03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally saved this comment. Thnx!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just made my day.
izzidora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that family so much
TheUprightMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone get a Jojo's "Ora" meme in here, I'm a bit too busy
EstherandThyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am digging that suit with the teal shirt.
FoxtatoOverlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just had to watch the YouTube clip on this. Fucking hilarious.
rift_in_the_warp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name so nice they used it thrice!
Nintendroid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how uplifting this is, since it didn't end in an insult, put down, or even mild joke at someone's expense. The father owns it, and it becomes apparent that Obu is in fact an awesome name when you have the gusto to carry it that way. I love it!
chilaxinman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit, I don't like that dude but this shit is hilarious.
EnhancedPenetrator ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 12:30:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Helping and old lady cross the road
walruskingmike ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:39:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
gaveedraseven ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:18:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that would be me...
Pepbob ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:22:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an asshole.
Parraddoxx ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:10:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it looked like he genuinely wanted to help but just fucked up with the parking break. I feel bad for both of them.
logBlop ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:40:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ohhhh i thought there was someone in the car driving it towards her, didnt realize he hopped out of that car
Fuck-Face ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:23:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that was a hard fall too, wtf
milkradio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhhh, her head :(
Njoythltlthngs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was just going for a sick ghost ridin' the whip video. It's a damn shame how it ended though.
h8speech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, she could've died.
scottyb83 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 13:41:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/N33hAtS.jpg
copper_top_m ยท 1119 points ยท Posted at 11:47:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/ifeeortmssky.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/DelqRF1.gifv
https://gfycat.com/PaleElectricCanary
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8MwM_gD2sQ
BassaForte ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 14:48:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how in the third one, a black hole begins to form.
A_Mouse_In_Da_House ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:02:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soft body physics do weird things when they don't have 1) good resolution, 2) good sampling time. In this case, the cloth moved in such a way that it passed through itself before the next calculation, and the simulation freaked out.
Check out /r/simulated for more.
copper_top_m ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:46:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I have a hard time falling asleep, not the blankets or the movement, it's the black hole
Agarn_Fortez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the blanket hogger sucking any additional heat from the surrounding area.
sjdubya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:13 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NIIIIICK!
cmath89 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:53:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao! That pup rolling down the stairs! Holy shit that's funny. Thanks for that.
funkyb ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:18:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am saving that third one for when I'm in a not so smart mood and decide to show it to my wife.
copper_top_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I showed mine, she found it funny, and agreed with it
hexane360 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:56:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I freaking love Imagine All Star People
copper_top_m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh snap, this is amazing, never heard the full version. great smash-up
hexane360 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:00:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Neil Cicierega has 3 straight albums of amazing mashups. Some of them don't even include All Star!
Of course, some do, including:
mouth pressure
modest mouth
full mouth
promenade
the sharpest tool
the starting line
wow wow
copper_top_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just realized he's the artist behind bustin. it's a favorite of mine.
Also his stuff is great
Satsuz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neil (AKA Lemon Demon) is basically the King of Animated and Musical Memes. He invented Animutation, made Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Potter Puppet Pals, BrodyQuest, and other probably less-famous stuff.
copper_top_m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
woah... Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and Potter Puppet Pals were my childhood.
copper_top_m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bold move not using All Star, I'll have to check them out.
TheriseLachance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget about Daft Mouth.
hexane360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a great one, but I think it only uses Walking on the Sun (not All Star)
TheriseLachance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a few bits of All Star towards the end. I figured that if Wow Wow had enough All Star to be on your list, Daft Mouth had it's place too!
Agent_Velcoro ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:07:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last one belongs in r/gifsthatendtoosoon
GameOnTheWay ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:56:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first one was cute.
The second one had me laughing a lot.
The third one was relatable.
The fourth one made me lose my shit.
Beliriel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:58:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the progression of file format
Durbs42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:23:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The breadth of emotion here. I laughed, I cried, I felt the crippling loneliness of this world, then laughed again.
319qwerty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the last video was a neil cicierega mashup song. you should check him out, especially his mouth sounds albums
copper_top_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
one step ahead of you thanks to /u/hexane360. link
His music is pretty fantastic, so glad I posted that dog falling down the steps
SamuraiJakkass86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the tree said; "HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCKING SIT IN THE HOUSE YOU MADE OUT OF ME YOU LITTLE SHIT, OR THE FUCKING BOAT. HUH!?"
GreyGonzales ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that last one was going to be about the ghost dog on the right.
quackquackoopz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That first one is absolutely beautiful.
copper_top_m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it really is, here's the original post
quackquackoopz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rip sweet puppers has me in TEARS! Thank you!
Ica44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that video made me laugh so hard I made a weird squeaking noise and my family thought it was my dog crying in pain #true story
graften ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How have I never seen that dog gif. So good.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
honestly, a lot of dogs die falling from stairs. Dont let your dogs on the stairs at home
TheDeltronZero ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:46:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha cmon. By that logic people shouldn't be using stairs either.
BittersweetHumanity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT YOU USE STAIRS? /r/madlads
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unlike us. Dogs fall face first and can break their neck or backs easily.
Ryan526 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dog is blind though
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Tavern_Knight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The third one is actually a computer generated simulation believe it or not. It's hard to tell, but if you look closely you should be able to tell
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:04:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The MOLA MOLA fish
Uglybuddy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Kevin of fish
Sir_Derps-Alot ยท 205 points ยท Posted at 13:18:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always makes me chuckle
http://i.imgur.com/C0bLohU.gifv
caanthedalek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But we have more chairs!
Technicalchawal ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:10:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Malicious compliance at its best. Thanks for the chuckle.
Gratisfactionintel ยท 3777 points ยท Posted at 11:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/UnsungSecondEeve
nsfw
pants_mcgee ยท 2639 points ยท Posted at 12:30:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone have a source for this? You know, for, uh, jerkin' off.
Xcpa9 ยท 2825 points ยท Posted at 13:03:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerking your dick or your heart?
EnkoNeko ยท 1027 points ยท Posted at 13:14:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
winter_mutant ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:38:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EnkoNeko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:30:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooooh, pretty
ElectroclassicM ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:09:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
willcall100 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:27:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
ElectroclassicM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4me6meta
BananApocalypse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:17 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EnkoNeko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:01 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did it take you so long to reply lol
BananApocalypse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:38 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to think of a good reply.
Jk... this thread was linked from another one on the front page of /r/askreddit and I didn't realize how old it was.
EnkoNeko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:35 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh right that best posts one
youshantpass ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:28:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one's the dick for sure.
halfbloodgamer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:57:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heย does not jerk his dick; he who jerks his dick has forgotten the face of his father. He jerks his heart
shibbyknibby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hile, Dickslinger!
RCkamikaze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cry your pardon!
iamlegend29 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:02:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how people make reference to above top comments.
dukenhu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:33:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HS007 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:21:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this case, a comment that refers to another comment (within this same thread actually).
Here is some more on meta
el0d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
darkgalaxypotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
too real
citrus_monkeybutts ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta4me
SpookyPocket ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 13:35:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta!
TheDartron123 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How meta.
tunersharkbitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
ForgottenPhenom ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it count as meta if it's in the same thread ? :O
potterapple ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/2meta4me
mlg-used-carsalesman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A E T A
SuckItPeasants ยท 1190 points ยท Posted at 13:01:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph56c0e2b9b2509
C477um04 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 14:48:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When she noticed the camera and said "I don't give a fuck" I wonder if she knew they'd get 661,000 views on pornhub. Lotsa people seen them fuck now.
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:46:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
696,470 views. 10 hours later.
Assuming your number was exact, which I will, that's 35,470 people who have seen this video in the 10 hours that have passed since you commented.
That's 3,547 people an hour. 59.12 people per minute. Sooooo close to a person per minute, coming in at .985, or 98.5% of a person per
minutesecond that have seen this video since your comment.Fuckin good work.
putout ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check your math, friend. That's per second
TheFuckNameYouWant ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:27:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Math is right, except for the part when I tried to divide minutes into minutes, rather than into seconds.
putout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I should have been more specific, sorry
[deleted] ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 13:19:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hero I deserve
SuckItPeasants ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 13:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've earned it, friendo.
ninja36036 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we've all earned it, pal.
popoley4221998_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya damn right
NEOKhan ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:37:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all heroes wear capes
jman1255 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one time. THE ONE TIME I KNOW THE SOURCE FOR SOMETHING ON REDDIT IM 5 hrs LATE.
xXsirdevilXx ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:21:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if it's a longer version, post it anyway
Nyetbyte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I second this motion.
carmiggiano ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:25:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blessed teenager Jesus be with you
ProfessionalWingman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:14:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck.. Thanks anyway
SuckItPeasants ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:19:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got you son
Pope_Urban_The_II ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A true god amongst men.
pappadogg888 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on August 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone have a backup of this?
SuckItPeasants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:18 on August 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, is this one down? I'd check, but I'm at work.
pappadogg888 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:21 on August 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah looks like it was removed
Cabotju ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:46:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately the Vid isn't that long :(
Amberleaf ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:49:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found a three and half minute version here.
agsalami ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:00:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-_- I knew it was coming. I clicked anyway.
Amberleaf ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:05:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally apologise, this was my first RR after browsing Reddit for 7 years.
Sharp02 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:32:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xcq
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was super hot, thanks.
Twelve20two ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May as well save this and post it to the thread
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SuckItPeasants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
y
usoland-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are a hero
Doorknob11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I should post this comment on this thread.
yjlevg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow
mrsuns10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now in my saved section
KING_UDYR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well done, sir
Chugging_Estus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bump
bogibney1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks chief
srottydoesntknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
doing the lords work
wordscannotdescribe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tits
OniiChanStopNotThere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:28 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's removed now.
Sh1tOnMyD1ck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you have a blessed day <3๐ฉ
TheKunit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my refractory period is really really short
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:02:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about the video, but there are stills from the same night including some more graphic shots on imgur.
scaryclownzinmyhouse ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:01:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
+1 for honesty
jafudiaz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:20:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pfff, cut it, we know it's for science...
MrWaffler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:26:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually not much more than the gif. You'd be disappointed.
Tolkien5045 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your honesty
LacrosseForDays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll try and find it, but the source is pretty short and didnt live up to the hype for me
colovick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check above again
ILIEKDEERS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:46:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tugging at the heart strings
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:48:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
QueequegTheater ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:05:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck science I need to jerk off.
iPlowedYourMom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For science
Panda_Hero01 ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 13:15:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. That's why you said it was not safe for work. Because it's not safe for wok.
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 13:49:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
el-toro-loco ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:14:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if they came in his stir fry
Jaggle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't see cum on the list of ingredients
sevenut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:11:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it said cumin.
Panda_Hero01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw son of a bitch!
bobrob48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't recommend putting a gif in a wok, that's for sure.
Panda_Hero01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can download it to an SD card and then try to dice the SD card.
bobrob48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean you could
but I still wouldn't recommend it...
lordofpurple ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 13:44:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kept waiting for the punchline, confused erection when the gif looped instead
tuny17 ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 12:26:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting for a r/nsfwfunny thing but Im pretty pleased it wasn't
Aulritta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:14:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Camera pans to dude playing video games
*Dude's oblivious
Trajjan ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 13:48:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this aint a meme
Northumberlo ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 12:12:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, uh... got any sources on that?
UndeadPhysco ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 12:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo i got you fam
Pug_from_hell ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that strange graph-y thingy on the video progress bar thingy for? Volume? Recommended jerking enthusiasm?
juvenescence ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:32:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
View count. Certain parts of a video get viewed more than others
Octopunk ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:45:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How wonder how many redditors are now contributing to the view count.
CeaRhan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:58:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what somebody said earlier, the viewcount jumped by at least 30K views since it was posted.
G'd day to you too, good sire.
NudelNipple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you sir
randypriest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, thank you ;)
Reddit_Novice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:14:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this is on my saved section
5MoK3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My hero
UndeadPhysco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:47:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember, not all Heroes wear capes, and some have very sticky keyboards.
I'm so sorry
baldurs_mate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha legend
topsolid1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
Joe1972 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I mean when I search for amateur porn. Not all the cam girls with fake tits and professional recording setups
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 12:24:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sifiman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its hawt.
hesapmakinesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda relevant URL too.
hyperdudemn ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:55:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not, when I was watching this, the X-Files theme started playing. (Second video in a playlist after the "Yee" video.)
_____Matt_____ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:38:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good old "important videos" playlist
lcPASCAL- ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:30:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context?
JonerPwner ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 13:51:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two girls have sex
Ktk_reddit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:57:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has there ever been better context than that ?
Summerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But in what context?
JonerPwner ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they can
John_Ketch ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 16:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two girls have foreplay
SingleLensReflex ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:46:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's the actual video. The context is sex, I assure you
John_Ketch ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I mean
SingleLensReflex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:02:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't though...
Supertilt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:53:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my
Korncakes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it this one is like my kryptonite. Every time I see it...
pappadogg888 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:27:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never seen it before and literally got a boner. Did not think that was possible with such a short clip.
Korncakes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:51:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah usually lesbian porn doesn't do anything for me but if you watch the video and listen to them talking, HNNNGGGG that one can take me from flaccid to finished in its 90-second entirety.
SingleLensReflex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what do you do for the last 87 seconds of the video?
Korncakes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:51:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep watching and wish that I was 15 again and could jerk it four times in a row with no down time in between.
XelaSiM ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:37:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG that's one of the hottest things I've seen in a while. Thread favorite.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Lemme taste my pussy"
Jack_is_a_Potato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then...
BossBossian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Niiice
andersonb47 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey neat I watched this yesterday
BigRedMachine08 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:12:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good choice
SunDirty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone got the full story of this?
rockin_sasquatch ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:44:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she wanted an extra large sausage pizza but they were out
Silentmoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow thats hot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I love this gif. Thanks!
One_Shot_Finch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:55:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now it's in mine.
MeowntainMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting for a friend.. For later.
MasterBet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:02:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn
Abnmlguru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How bout some Sauce with that?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rockin_sasquatch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:44:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fine addition?
Barncore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting for something funny to happen
Imagine_Baggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why I expected there to be a twist...
Peedeepeedee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment is old as hell but I still want to say thank you,
mayorjimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
scissor me timbers!
Timett_son_of_Timett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good god.
Khronosian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, u/clicksonlinks I'm at work, can I have a description?
ClicksOnLinks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:24:50 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A completely nude woman grinding on a half clothed woman and making out with her. Nothing spectacular.
Khronosian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:10 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless.
IAmTheAccident ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if you are still at work, but it's two objectively attractive women having sex. It seems very passionate and gentle, more like love making than fucking. The gif is short, but there is a sauce linked in the replies that I haven't checked myself but other users seem to have indicated is approximately 1.5 minutes in length.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i don't get it... i have a boner but i'm not sure if i'm missing something here
freebooterDplunderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I needed more warning.
Rexinator123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:04 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck is this shit?!??! This is reddit not pornhub
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:13:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ganjabread84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should find better dick
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ganjabread84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least find a better name for it
Luke_myLord ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why so much attention for this 2 blond girls? I've seen better
russdang ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:35:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because we're not all from sweden
ronvonjones1 ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 13:39:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/K673elP.gifv
ssuperboy95 ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing explanation of how Women misinterpret Male communication (The part where we like to be "assholes" to each other)
It's really well written and worth the read.
Luocorn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:09:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even realize this is why I do it. But it is totally why I do it.
Holidaysuprise123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that was super on point.
ssuperboy95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? I think it really captures the depth of the "jokes" that men tend to make around each other, and the dynamics that those "jokes" have in terms of trust and caring
PeytonRoyce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had two brick throwers in my friends group in college. Totally awkward
cartmancakes ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 17:53:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really enjoyed this about Koalas... from /u/AndromedaPrincess
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
NedryOS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Formatting
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
cartmancakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the formatting.
vacantvivacity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid Sexy Koalas
TehBatmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Koalas are actually marsupials, not sure that changes anything.
oldark ยท 307 points ยท Posted at 12:25:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angry penmenship
IWatchGifsForWayToo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gives me a kerning boner.
Hellblazer10 ยท 1430 points ยท Posted at 10:33:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, my time to shine. NSFW
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1vt1si/you_can_only_watch_one_porn_video_for_the_rest_of/
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/241nz3/what_are_your_go_to_porn_videos_that_youll_never/
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24syx3/reddit_whats_the_classiest_nsfw_photo_do_you_know/
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/25itb8/what_is_the_best_boob_gif/
EDIT : Tagged it NSFW and changed the links to be mobile friendly.
prosthetic4head ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 11:15:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they all go to pay.reddit? What is pay.reddit?
Hellblazer10 ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 11:23:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it used to be the secure version of Reddit when Reddit was not https and I just copied these links from an old post.
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:35:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone use that before, that's how I used to get around my company's Internet filter, good times.
1virgil ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:30:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your company blocks reddit? Fucking fascists. Reddit is the only way I can see porn when I'm deployed.
konaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since they're apparently blocking the bare domain and not the subdomains, I'd wager the block is just for people too stupid to find a way around such a simple block.
Hardcore90skid ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:05:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fun thing about being IT in the company is I have the authority to disable my own firewall. Checkmate atheists.
JoXand ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forced HTTPS from back when HTTPS was not site-wide.
darkgalaxypotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hell
KusoTeitokuInazuma ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 11:14:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aaaaand saved
SalvioMassCalzoney ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:48:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mobile sucks.
crazybonesilly ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm about to blow your mind I assume you don't know how to save a comment. Click and highlight you will then see 3 dots stacked on eachotger click that you will be given multiple options click the one that says save
Malkiot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is fun or Boost for reddit. You're welcome.
Thecactigod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or sync for Reddit or relay for reddit
gamingchicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mobile is great you just need to know how to suck the nectar out of it. If you're using Android I can recommend baconreader. I have been using it for years now and it's great. I'm not sure what the alternatives are for iPhone but I know they exist. Mobile redditing is powerful man.
Melyche ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:46:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but this is useless. Post is from 2014 and Iโm quite sure %80 of porn links already dead.
humannumber1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:37:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm that is the case in the first link.
shazarakk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:49:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah half of them are removed. I checked. for science.
SweetSlowKiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best boob gif! Everyone loved my boobs.
Hellblazer10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
cartrman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this is pod racing.
Static_Flier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For extra karma, someone could Convert the links to a mobile format. I would but I need to start working sometime today
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome :)
JoeySki_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome
Kiux97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hellblazer10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Changed them to be mobile friendly.
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
terrygenitals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
need mirrors for some of the videos on the top link thread. particularly the kayden kross one
Hellblazer10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:17:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/tipofmypenis
mairedemerde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Connoisseur de la pornographie.
TJD985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So wait till I'm off work..?
NomNomNommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally!
srottydoesntknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, normally I stealth save my porn, but this is also a way to live
Reddit_means_Porn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah dude
BeaverCleaver69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol I already had two of those saved
isobane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many dead links
in that first one...Tauposaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clicks save
popoley4221998_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not surprised at all that someone made a compilation of these
MountainDewFountain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:38 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*
Gazzamate ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 14:00:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've watched this so many times and it is still hilarious.
iRocknRolla ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 12:47:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy and his sister.
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:15:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the fourth time I have read this, and I fall for it every time.
OvertOperation ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:15:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Only I've read it 9 times.
It gets me every damn time.
Fatkuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every. Fucking. Time.
caanthedalek ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:46:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...huh...
...wait...
...mother FUCKER
NedryOS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:22:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sister, actually.
caanthedalek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wishes
Paynesmith ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this, really.
condray ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:22:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been Redditing too long. I always read the last paragraph first, usually looking for tree fiddy, but it helps in these circumstances as well.
Ex_Why_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell in a cell has been the one that gets me lately.
justSFWthings ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:16:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was fantastic. Thank you for sharing that.
pokexchespin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually realized the twist! I had a feeling it was a movie plot when he said they were wanted by the Feds but when religion came up I looked out my window and said, "it's fucking Star Wars"
Mitchfarino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:41 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was brilliant!
DorianOrange ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:04:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For your reference, from /u/Rystic:
In Beauty and the Beast, Gaston ate four dozen eggs daily when he was a child. That's fourty-eight eggs a day. As an adult he adds another dozen, tallying up to sixty eggs a day. This is nothing short of genocide. My theory for why Gaston is beloved by the townsfolk is that some time prior to the start of the movie, France was overrun with poultry. Helpless at the claws of the chickens, the people of France were preparing to abandon their country, when a lone child stepped forward. "I'll eat the eggs", a young Gaston bellowed, "And I will save our homeland". And so it was, Gaston ate and ate until he was roughly the size of a barge. How the cholesterol didn't kill him can only be attributed to his inhuman fortitude. This is where the story turns tragic. What Gaston hadn't accounted for was developing an addiction to the eggs. As he aged, he ate more and more, and with the chicken-crisis over, his addiction began costing him financially. There's a scene during Gaston's song where he motions to a wall full of his hunting trophies. But why are they there? Does he own the bar? No, he sold them for egg money. The fact he never brings up his egg addiction or his prior heroism can be attributed to another one of Gaston's defining character traits: his struggle to be emotionally open, and his modesty. It's not easy being the man who saved France.
I think the saddest scene is when Belle shows Gaston the book, and he holds it upside down. See, Gaston seems brutish, but remember - his entire childhood was spent eating eggs. He didn't have time for an education; he sacrificed his upbringing for his countrymen. He can't even hold a book correctly. What Gaston wants to say, what he's struggling to articulate, is "Belle, I'm dying. A life long diet of a quite frankly insane number of eggs has left my body bloated with tumors. Before I shove off this mortal coil, I want children, who might experience a world without the oppression I have suffered". Belle cruelly mocks him, which goes to make you wonder who the real beast is.
When Gaston sees the Beast in the mirror, two thoughts run through his head. First, he sees his countrymen in danger once more, and despite being riddled with egg-tumors, wants to lead the masses to one last charge of glory since fighting for France is all he knows. Second, he realizes Beast's head is about a month's worth of egg-money. So he sieges the castle, and in one of Disney's most tragic moments, plummets to his death. Another reason Gaston wants to marry Belle is because, as mentioned above, all he knows how to do is to fight for France and its people. Gaston saw Maurice as a genuine danger, and he's not wrong; consider the hellish contraption Maurice created. One look at that war machine and Gaston hatched a plan; marry Belle, and get close enough to Maurice to talk him down. Mind you, he did love Belle, and wanted to be the father of her children, but the danger presented by Maurice forced his plan into action immediately. When that fell through, he had no choice but to throw Maurice in the asylum (something marrying Belle would have fixed, since he would once again be close enough to Maurice to influence him). All in all, the failure was one of articulation.
tl;dr: Gaston is the protagonist of Beauty and the Beast.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what an uneggspectedly good read
DorianOrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:18 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude this was 2 months ago
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:48 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...yes...I was bored and was just browsing
GiveMeChoko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow.
Coltsfan6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:19 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/iC6eNqG Always puts a big smile on my face
Wherearemylegs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:16:23 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My biggest question is how does he operate that thing? You can clearly see that he uses both of his hands! He only uses one at the beginning and the other one flops limply but then he seamlessly transitions to using the other one without the head moving at all.
SparroHawc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:22 on July 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pure, unadulterated puppeteering skills. One hand is always manipulating the head, and the handoff is expertly done.
EvilAsshole ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 21:27:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This poem, by the one and only /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
If you should fray, or fall apart,
In any where or when -
I'll always try, with all my heart,
To make you whole again.
But if you choose to fall behind,
And break and shake to bits -
The day may come where I won't find
A single piece that fits.
elmo298 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:55:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my one from them... shits raw
UnggoyRS ยท 1321 points ยท Posted at 09:26:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Magikarp
arote ยท 1086 points ยท Posted at 12:40:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Cup Noodle unmasked
staypuftmichelinman ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 12:52:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
meta
ProudNitro ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2fast5me
LucklessRouge ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:41:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
movieguy2121 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:57:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
ElKaBongX ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:17:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks, uh... thirsty
poopellar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thirsty for weigh.
The-Space-Viking ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:41:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sighs
unzip
Log_Out_Of_Life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still only know splash. But this one makes things as uncomfortable as Bobobo-bobo-bo
FUSROaww ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found MagikarpUsedFly
Redshirt2386 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nightmare fuel.
Edit: But totally saving to fuck with people.
scroom38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I take it you have a lot of... sensual nightmares?
Kif, fetch me my..... snuggling pillow. and my onesie.
therealhlmencken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha i work with him
max30070 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if my old rod could haul that in...
theRealCheese56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I met this dude!
Argon1124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:41 on August 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/clicksonlinks Take a break. Since you enjoy /r/hesquats to much, you might enjoy this.
ClicksOnLinks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:31 on August 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my fetish >:3
QualityBoi ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 15:04:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/ZeSy3Zu.gifv
Zarlem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:51 on July 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good thing they were smart enough to test it away from the baby first!
๐๏ธ female_stig ยท 3913 points ยท Posted at 08:50:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's mine https://m.imgur.com/a/RSpgS
ThePeoplesBard ยท 1378 points ยท Posted at 10:49:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have half of these fears until I looked at these.
Mark_Taiwan ยท 842 points ยท Posted at 12:10:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The iron fence one... *shudder*
Ironmanual ยท 452 points ยท Posted at 12:22:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's this scene in Hot Fuzz where someone slips and falls with his chin on a miniature church. When grosses out by the scene, my father casually mentioned he once saw his neighbour slip and fell with her chin on one of these iron fences.
gamingchicken ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 12:52:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fell on one of them fences once. I got locked in the backyard by my brother and had to climb the fence to get out. I made it onto a second story window sill on the other side, and then I slipped. Instead of taking a two story fall I decided that I would try to jump back over the fence and only fall a bit over two meters. I made it halfway over the fence and impaled my leg on it just above my knee. I was hanging there yelling out for help and it felt like ages before someone came. Was lucky to miss the artery in my leg. Still have a scar there.
AlaskanBullWormz ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 13:53:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did that someone happen to be Rick Grimes?
TrueBlue224 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:35:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
welp glad I have that image in my head now
TheGiantTurd ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better yet this happened to a criminal who was running away and jumped from a low roof and his under jaw landed right on a spiked fence and decapitated his head. There's a photo out there.
Wigly3 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:56:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW/NSFL https://m.imgur.com/a/GTdXy
justaquicki ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:55:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woolie?
nitrodeuce13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do I look at things like that
hisgrossness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew this would be somewhere around here as soon as i read "the iron fence".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seent it. His hair make it better.
Elvis_Take_The_Wheel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:19:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timothy Dalton is hilarious in HF in general and that scene in particular. "THITH WEEEEAWY HURTHS!"
Going to look at it very differently now thanks to your dad, tho'. ๐ณ
critical_mess ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:22:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK, it's Timothy Dalton! How did I never know this? It's so obvious now..
foofly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, you wanna be a big cop in a small town, fuck off up the model village."
Yamasama ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:28:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classmate jumped a wall to get a soccer ball, spikey iron fence behind it you couldnt see. Ball comes over the wall with a bloody handprint on it. He comes back clutching his neck bleeding profusely. Ends up he jumped the wall landed on the spike with his neck. It ripped out by his ear, but didn't hit anything serious. He was in hospital for 2 weeks. Then slowly recovered. Saw him a few years later and he had the most insane starburst scar from below his chin up last his right ear.
KrishaCZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nonononononononononononononononono
bentreflection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My neighbor tried to climb up to his balcony but fell and impaled himself on our apartment complex wrought iron fence.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends got his finger ice skated over. His nail has a weird ridge in it now.
IamTheFreshmaker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:45:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That someone is James Bond, Daniel Craig.
HaveaManhattan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a rat impaled on one of those once. I don't know if it fell off a roof, or a bird/hobo dropped it there or what, but that was fucked up.
Mark_Taiwan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:47:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be a shrike:
HaveaManhattan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:53:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had thought that, but this was a NYC subway rat. So, too meaty in size. We've had a lot more raptor birds come to NY in the past decade and a half(it's a pigeon and squirrel buffet here), but I know of no shrikes. I could also see some local residents, maybe a little fed up with their rat problems, doing it as a warning to others. The position of the impalation could be seen as, let's say 'purposeful'? Like ass-first. But that's also the heavy end so it could have fell. Either way, he lost that rat race....
thealmightybrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who decided, when drunk, to sneak into the pool at the apartment complex for a late night swim. She was rather short. She climbed a fence like the one in the comic, but the fence was tall. She was wearing a metal Fossil wristwatch. Those watches hold up pretty well. As she hopped the fence, her watch is snagged on the spike. She ends up making it over the fence, hanging by her wristwatch, breaking her arm. What impressed me was that she, with the help of another short girl friend of her's, managed to free herself and get back over the fence without getting in trouble. Her arm was in a cast for a while.
Moral of the story--don't fuck with those fences, and also Fossil watches are super durable.
greasyuncle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, my aunt gouged her eye out on a table corner when she tripped in the middle of the night on her way to the toilet.
ViggoMiles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who impaled her leg while drunkenly junking a spike tipped fence. Vicious scar.
Makes you understand why they make the tips the way they do.. they'll fuck you up, darn kids!
ifeellazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was living in NY, a friend of a friend fell off a rooftop when drunk and one of those spikes pierced her skull. The EMTs had to cut the fence off to bring her into the ER. She survived.
You can look it up if you want, it was like 2011 I think. I looked a bit, but I can't find a news story.
PerplexedGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't watch Daredevil.
GenSec ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot about that scene...
gnbman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Movie or Netflix?
PerplexedGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Netflix.
sioux612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is an old handrail that somebody decided to cut of on the horizontal bar, with it sticking like 1,5feet out into the road
Whenever I drive by it in a car or on a bike or on my longboard I keep like 6 feet of extra distance just to make sure I don't die in a freak accident
SkierBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't watch Daredevil.
tombcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something like that happened to my friend. He's a real big track runner and thought he could jump the wrought iron fence by his house, and, well, he couldn't. His leg was impaled for a good while before anyone could get him.
Wallace_II ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Becoming a mall cop doesn't seem all bad.
SmokeyPeanutRic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, who doesn't want to be like Paul Blart?
otakuthelegend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pooping one got me. I used to think that a LOT a couple years ago. Apparently I was just dissociating real hard
DeadeyeDuncan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would be ok if I woke up and was a dog.
IWatchGifsForWayToo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I've actually met someone that had a finger chopped off while ice skating. I don't really feel inclined to go anymore.
luthorhuss ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 12:50:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My great grandmother died from the feet up as her body started shutting down at the ripe age of 89. She had amazing clarity and wit and tbh, this doesn't scare me at all. It was actually very peaceful for her and all of us. She was able to say goodbye to us and was ready. Her feet turned blue then purple and it worked its way up. We had time to hug her, cry a lot, and say farewell before she told us that she should probably go to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 485 points ยท Posted at 08:58:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had anxiety issues I'm pretty sure some of those would give me a panic attack.
thegypsyqueen ยท 391 points ยท Posted at 11:35:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except the one where everything is the dream of an imaginative dog... that'd be awesome
TyCooper8 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:32:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's interesting how some people would fear that and some would be happy for it. I think I'm in the latter category. Life sucks.
SymphonicStorm ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:35:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't mind waking up and realizing I'm a dog.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:40:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People always say that, but at the end of the day, even if you're a dog in the most loving family ever, you'd basically be in prison.
Most of your time is spent in the house. You can't leave unless your owner(s) want to leave, and even then, you'll most likely be on a leash. You eat the same thing every day. You probably have no other dogs to chill with, or at most just a couple.
If you really were a dog with a human brain, I'm pretty sure you would hate it within a day.
bombikid ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:00:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BUT if you were a dog with a human brain, you would understand language, and so you would grab a pencil with your mouth or between your paws and communicate with the humans in the house. When they realize you really can communicate, the teenager in the house records you, posts it to snapchat, the snap is turned into a gif and posted to reddit, which gains 70k upvotes and gets posted to other social media. Thus, you become famous and people from all over the world come to see you, which makes your owners rich, which allows you to travel all over the world and see places most humans do not get to see.
Tl;dr: your human brain turns ou into a celebrity which allows you to see the world
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:05:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True!
Although I get the feeling that a hyper-intelligent dog that is capable of writing might be kidnapped for experimentation. Or your human family will think you're possessed by a demon and will kill you!
bombikid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp. Just hope the owners are good people
BiJay0 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:52:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a cat though...
janiekh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But dogs are super happy all the time, clearly there must be a reason for that
dachristensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately for some it's super scary because the fine line between sane neurosis and insanity is one's foundation in objective reality. And as soon as you get into a logic argument with yourself you have to soundly prove to your persistent irrationalities that you aren't that dog, when all they have to do to counter is 'But what if? But how do you know? Are you truly sure?'
So now you tend to either freeze in your place in life or you question am I real? Does what I do matter? Should I go do risky x,y, and z? If I don't truly know who I am how can friends and family really love me if I can't prove I am me? Is it all an act?....and it spirals like that :/
thegypsyqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like shit. When I think of my own existence I just laugh at the absurdity and move on... it would suck if that wasn't so easy.
dachristensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the ruminating black hole of 'what-ifs' can be a total cunt-nugget if you let it run your life. The biggest task is understanding it to be able to work with/through/around it where applicable to get through weeks/days/moments to the best of one's ability.
Laughing at the absurdity...huh, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the new mental thread. Here's to hoping my mind doesn't find this sweater itchy too...but at least I have hope :)
bamfbanki ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 11:23:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should not have linked. Need eyebleach.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:28:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Eyebleach
thatdreadedguy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:33:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, I have depression and anxiety issues. In a bizarre way it was oddly reassuring to know that I'm not entirely alone in it all. I guess sometimes it's hard to see that you aren't always the only one and to know that others can live with it all, it's just good to know. Like if they can, then so can I.
I hope that made sense, it's sometimes hard to find the right words for it all.
dachristensen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gotchu fam ;)
SeedstreaM ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:56:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have anxiety problems and im on the edge of having one. Dont regret clicking the Link tho honestly
cdsackett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack lately
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:07:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cdsackett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's gotta be a subreddit for us or something. You know, somewhere to go when we feel like our soul is trying to escape our body
Kikooky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:04:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone with anxiety issues, this comic is a pretty good visualisation of my brain. Among other things, I'm constantly worried that stupid, unlikely, horrific things are going to happen/have happened, no matter how illogical. It's very annoying.
dachristensen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have high levels of generalized anxiety compounded with social anxiety and type 2 bipolar disorder and, believe it or not, finishing the album was more cathartic than anything. Just seeing that someone else in the world understands the world I live in almost every day eases everlasting anxieties I'm constantly learning how to battle.
That being said, everyone's different and I can tell you, second-hand, your premise is unfortunately a spot on reality for too many others.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:08:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:30:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MrFahrenkite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If reincarnation is real, a family dog would be the highest form attainable
Tilted_Till_Tuesday ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 12:57:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "Feel your senses after death" is the thing I think about instantly when they ask me to become an organ donor.
Hojirozame ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:11:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a pretty cool entry about this on the SCP site, from what I remember the guy says it feels like [DATA EXPUNGED].
Edit: Found it. You might not understand some of it if you haven't read anything on SCP before.
milleniummanp7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God yes. I've always said I'd rather give a non vital organ alive, than when I'm dead.
5-325 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 12:37:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That artist's mother fucked them up.
cabothief ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 14:41:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those aren't all the artist's fears. I think s/he just took other people's fears and illustrated them.
That would definitely suck if these were all from the same person.
But yeah, there are a lot of those that seem to come from parents. Good cautionary tale for parenting.
dudeguy_loves_reddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:40:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC they're all anonymous asks sent on Tumblr
TheOnlyArtifex ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, this guy/girl needs to see a psychiatrist, fast!
kmrst ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:07:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was an art project about other people's fears. That's why the person is different in each page.
TheOnlyArtifex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:44:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, and I should've realised that. Thanks for explaining.
lizard-state ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:42:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thinking all my senses will be in tact when I die and thinking that life is just a dream are two fears/ ideas that I've had for the longest time. Didn't know anyone else thought this!
lilbill952 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dream one gets me. It really makes you feel utterly alone if you dwell on it. Everything and everyone I've ever experienced could just be a creation of my own mind. There really is no way to be sure, but I've learned to enjoy reality regardless. The thought that when I die one day I'll wake up and be like "what a dream."
lizard-state ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:41:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been pondering this from as young as the age of 8. Moments of derealization didn't do much to ease this. Life in general is just very strange. When I'm at work or in public, I often look at people and think "Wow, I can't believe I'm interacting with humans and not dogs, or fish, or squirrels, but humans. Somehow I am human and somehow they are too. Interesting." What does it mean to be real? How do I know what's real? Many things feel real but aren't. I could on forever, but it just makes me seem like I've lost my sanity. And it can feel isolating to think like this daily because it isn't exactly something you can just chat up about with your neighbor.
cjsanx2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:08:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have an Instagram account
indeedwatson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:15:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit the one about fearing getting old. I feel like this so often. You do see plenty of old people who just are so ... old without being actually old. They just look like a dementor fucked them in the ass. I will do anything in my power not to end up like that even though I make it to 90
cursethedamnpotatoes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:02:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this artist on Instagram! Some of these really make my skin crawl.
ShadowMarionette ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one about Mary is depressingly relatable.
joe_jon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:15:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl in the Slayer shirt might not be God's type, but she's definitely my type.
Colley619 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one about your reflection at night got me.
Akephalos- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:36:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reality of getting sucked into an escalator is much worse. I'll take the mall cop fear.
jcarberry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:34:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Number 6: Guillain-Barre
Number 24: Sporotrichosis
Korncakes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude thank you for the 7am anxiety attack. The mirror one and dog one fucked me up.
Cabotju ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:49:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the knives table one, is it about cutting?
Waliami ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it either, it seems really lame in comparison.
RealBlazeStorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's fear for a self-harm attack or something, suddenly cutting yourself out of nowhere
Vogonvor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is that you put the knife just out of reach so you don't cut yourself by accident but if you are attacked and you need a knife it is just out of reach and you won't get there? Least that is how I read it.
ukzario ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing, saved
Andy_B_Goode ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freakin' lol
yaavsp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always worry I'm going to bite my tongue off during a spooky movie.
WinstonMercury ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:10:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
wolfereen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That creator must have had a fucked up childhood
Diabetesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty good. Mine are mostly porn. There are other things but nothing I reference regularly.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its
WinstonMercury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
WinstonMercury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
WinstonMercury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
WinstonMercury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
Ry4n246 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was fine... till i read the body not being mine thing..
PhineusQButterfat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the tenth fear (dream extra after death) is an interesting story idea.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_HEY_EARL_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:40:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand that one.
herrmulder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:50:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ribit_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That last one -- ALS โน๏ธ family friend slowly eroded from it 2 years ago.
munomana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last one was about revolving doors. I assume you meant #6 maybe?
WinstonMercury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of these would make interesting story prompts or short films.
DotaDogma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm in the minority here. I have tons of fears but most of these sound dumb or over the top to me. The other people reading your thoughts one is the only one that was marginally agreeable.
spoonsforeggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if waking up as a dog is a fear or a dream
pratyush997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fam, too dark.
Galaxy_Ranger_Bob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I find the dog one comforting.
GlungoE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not in this set but the artist illustrated my fear. I'm very pleased with it.
professor_doom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Made by my friend Fran Krause
crysys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are magical, thank you.
D_Neon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#16 is my dream.
ikilledtupac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jesus mate
drc2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I slipped when stepping on to the ice for the first time as a kid, and got one hand run over. Cut a few fingers but definitely didn't lose any
-wes1099 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no joke, a couple friends and I watched a 12 year old kid get the tip of his middle finger get chopped off by an ice skate. Now my friends don't want to go ice skating...
Xath24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Number 8 sounds pretty damn nice. No worries about money I still get to dream about human stuff and I get to be a dog.
alienpmk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with being a dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A N X I E T Y
The_exeption ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11 literally part social anxiety in one frame
ttrublu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg it feels like it's been ages since I saw this post! Thanks for bringing my anxiety back.
Chickennuggetstyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I relate to a worrying amount of these almost precisely.
Doorknob11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dreams one. Holy balls.
tunersharkbitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
22 isnt just literal, but figurative as well...
QuiteOutraged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I'm all for having a rich imagination, but this is just ridiculous.
Etheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an unrelated note, my irrational fear is that whenever my wife and son is nowhere to be found in the store/mall but they were just there seconds ago, I fear that my whole life I've been imagining them and everyone around me were just playing along.
folkdeath95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic, but Imgur sure is going hard on the ads these days. Jesus Christ
Awpossum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do those reassure me and give me a sense of comfort ? That doesn't seem logical
KnowTheDifference ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, in high school, I was in a group with probably about 6 or 7 other people, and none of them would speak to me. They didn't acknowledge when I talked, wouldn't even look at me. It was unexpectedly horrifying.
veggiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got my finger sliced by my friend's ice skate the first time I went ice skating. It kind of just shaved off some skin. I think I still have a light scar from it.
Rusty_Shunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who illustrated those, Roald Dahl?
Gregser94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quentin Blake usually illustrates Roald Dahl books.
awildleonard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the knife one
J0h9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got ads for therapy while reading that
Gregser94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Number seven is heartbreaking.
milkradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YESSSSS I love these! Number 2 and number 9 have been some longtime fears of mine too.
papa_bear_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christ, the one about the dream. There was a thread on here where someone lived a life, had kids, married and built his life. One night he saw something wrong with the lamp in his lounge. Kept staring at it and eventually woke up.
From a coma.
No marriage. No kids. Nothing. He mourned the life he wished he had. He did have.
Fucking scary.
song_pond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Who touched on this one.
CeaRhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 and 3 are anxiety in a nutshell. Except everything can go that wrong.
lindzasaurusrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my entire life is ruined, I shouldn't've read the comments.
MrPringles23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The death and old related ones are the ones that hit me :\ I'm still 26
Qwertyllama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think you're 26, but you're really just an imaginitve dog
WinstonMercury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
WinstonMercury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to my little brother at a public rink once. Didn't remove his fingers just needed a bunch of stitches. Blood all over the ice.
WarForYourMind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U wot m8? But no, seriously, what happened here?
munomana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likely a posting problem, but I'm gonna pretend alzheimers
[deleted] ยท 607 points ยท Posted at 10:20:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only pick one?
Most recently this
This dog always makes me happy
One of my favorite streamer clips
Tmanning47 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 12:57:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um.... Can I have it?
Semyonov ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:17:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beauty of this is I don't know if you're talking about the second or the third link.
Whitestrake ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 13:15:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... Can I have it?
cooldug000 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 13:47:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm missing something on the streamer clip. What's the joke? Is it just a bald joke?
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:15:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bald joke yes. The streamer, Mote Plox is bald.
dukorider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup
linecraftman ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:24:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking dead
RewrittenSol ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:18:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/linecraftman
2017-2017
Beloved Redditor
paranoid_giraffe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:14:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:36:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That dudes laugh
"I found your hair bro.screetch laugh"
jonpcr931 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:27:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha god damn Mote Pl0x
Arkeaus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:33:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yes osrs :P
BeardedLogician ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/tippytaps
oddythepinguin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my own favourite stream moment
Houeclipse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:45:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first one is so nice
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/wholesomememes
Cheesedoodlerrrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context for the hair??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The streamer, Mote Plox is bald like shown at the end of the clip.
He traded someone (Jacob) in game and he showed "Hair" item. Screenshot
Gyazo_Bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm a bot that fixes Gyazo images for mobile users.
Direct link: https://i.gyazo.com/86af6bda0989eb93aaf14c2625e11cd7.png
Imgur mirror: http://i.imgur.com/D4SiSic.png
Sourcev2 | Why? | Creator | leavemealone
PM-ME-UR-KNICKERS ยท 1171 points ยท Posted at 09:40:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm having a shitty day this is my go to
leka2005 ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 11:23:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaand my work for today is done!
copper_top_m ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 11:36:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's a go to playlist of mine as well, this one is pretty good too
micmea1 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:01:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically /r/youtubehaiku sorted by top
copper_top_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:03:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah pretty much, probably should've gave a shoutout...
TheGrammatonCleric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is that sub about? It says poetry but the top posts are just random short videos. I'm not saying I didn't like It, I just don't....get it
micmea1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:06:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haiku=short poem. So a youtube haiku is a short video. Poems are the videos longer than 12 seconds but still 30 or below.
TheGrammatonCleric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I feel silly now. Cheers mate.
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. This is better.
BlackSight6 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:27:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both this one and the one from /u/PM-ME-UR-KNICKERS have the 12 bricks video. It bothers me more than it probably should that there are only 10 bricks in that clip. Thanks to both of you for the laughs this morning, though.
ikilledtupac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there goes two hours
MrBananaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks!
TheRedBull28 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:33:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The mall one got me. That woman was proud of her "haircuuuuuuuts"
Jalien85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:21:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to know if this was really an ad that was run somewhere un-ironically or if it was some kind of Tim and Eric style purposely bad production.
ReyJae ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:49:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually watched this whole playlist. But it does start to suck at the end though.
Warp__ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:08:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YEE
terminalvelocit3 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:58:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're that guy. The playlist has been popping up on my YouTube page for a month now.
TheTomato2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It drives me nuts
Crazymage321 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BACKPACKS BACKPACKS COME GET YOUR BACKPACKS
Chuckeltard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:55:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that it's called "important videos"
AlesioRFM ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:03:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me and a few friends stumbled upon this playlist a few days ago and ended up spending 2 hours watching stupid videos
tuffuf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:12:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very disappointing. number 176 is a repeat. 2/10 would not recommend
r3dd4bouti7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this
Smashum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend and I tried to watch it all the way through. The first half is excellent, but it gets weird towards the end, and not in a funny way.
TehDragonGuy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:49:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently on video 273/310. This simultaneously feels like the most wasted and least wasted 2 hours of my life.
Caralizzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're all the perfect length for my tiny attention span.
rainbowdickbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at the 141 2/3%.
Tyler1492 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello darkness my old friend...
fourunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed my ass off the first time. When I replayed it, I got kind of sad.
Pillar_of_Autumn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boots and pants and boots and pants
Ramen_enthusiast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You definitely made me day with this.
TESSELArtist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't believe that Yee video has 44 million views wow.
pratyush997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
important videos indeed.
thewalrus532 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was having a really unproductive day a month or two ago and watched this playlist for several hours. i'm not sure how i call myself an adult sometimes.
jaredjeya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kept seeing this pop up as recommended on YT but I ignored it...if it's actually good I might watch it.
BloodBathSalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg, hollaback seinfeld...
BaconBaker89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have doomed my entire day.
KurtKronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you. This is too good. I keep actually laughing out loud.
Rutagerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I came across this playlist randomly about a year ago and while I haven't watched every video yet, it's stayed true to its name and the videos have become very important to me
Perthcrossfitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This wins the internet
Alxndr_Hamilton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you i just spent 2 hours of my life on that shit
Jalien85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I've never seen that Scott Steiner rant. It's incredible. It's like if the Ultimate Warrior tried to invoke math.
djarioch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit that was awesome. I'm so curious what the removed videos are though.
TommyRobotX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Autist
rudnickulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if intentional or not but on the Reddit app, the very small "to" is so close to the upvote button as to be difficult to hit accurately. I wonder how many upvote came from people too lazy to un-upvote when they accidentally did. Either way, well-played
M3ggers04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been watching this forever, my cheeks hurt. I have to go back to watching now, popped by again to say thank-you.
BigMonkeyBalls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm never going to East Hills mall. I don't think I've ever cringed that much before
Mygoatpurrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hours. I have been watching this for hours.
SociallyAWKSOME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just came back to this after sitting on YouTube for 2 hours, laughing my ass off. Thank you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thank you for this
Vindico_Eques ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got as far as I could but some of those ads were longer than the videos. Dammit YouTube
deadowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:12 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Seth Rogan laugh video reminds me of the Forbidden Zone.
izembard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:02 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean?
shaidy64 ยท 3029 points ยท Posted at 09:42:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always makes me chuckle.
joey1122334 ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 13:06:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'How many pizzas should we get?' 'Order 66'
dodolo123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:33:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha
JDuCalisson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't upvote you any more because you're currently at 66 points. Guess I'll just have to save this one and remind people of it later.
Grappapotomus ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 12:30:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A surprise, to be sure.
Sarcastic_Black_Guy ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 12:36:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a welcome one.
SquidKid47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/prequelmemes is leaking
evandavis7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:24:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're like midichlorians; they're all around us.
hugothenerd ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:13:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no shit
allyourlives ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello there!
Ahjeofel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
ralusek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a CG one.
Bad____Wolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:09:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
RememberYoureAWomble ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:44:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Goooooooooodd.
FlameSpartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I expected Manningface.
PerplexedGamer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:58:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody's been at the Deathsticks again.
CornfireDublin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know for a fact I already have that saved, but I'm saving this comment to be sure
jrsooner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The logical conclusion.
dsebulsk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 13:43:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Husky117 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bro calm down haha
TheCastDice ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with you?
Lolzer588 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:00:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its a copypasta
hypertown ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many pizzas should I get?
Order 66
MrNeurotoxin ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 12:12:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/7FT2nkU.gif
Turtlelord42 ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 13:13:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/43h7j0wdkpsy.jpg This picture fucking kills me.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:21:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Oh_Where_Is_My_Mind ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:04:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A long ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo.
Weshcubb ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:31:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A long ass fucking time time ago, in a town in called Kickapoo...
TerrainIII ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:28:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There lived a humble family, religious through and through...
LlamaLlamaPingPong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is in my saved too, every time I look at it it gets better.
xkjeku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I aspire to be as rocking as that kid
qasteroid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell is Boris not at the fucking office fucking shit up there. Here he is having a great time while we brexit into apocalypse.
KingLatifah ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 13:22:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there is a 'save' option on reddit that I apparently have hit accidentally 25 times over the past 5 and a half years.
Ghi102 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:46:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious, what's your best accidental save?
DubiousVirtue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Five years and twenty-seven days actually.
KingLatifah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฟQue?
DubiousVirtue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1/6/12
KingLatifah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:41 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
american date not european, but well played
DubiousVirtue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:35 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to click on the u to get the number for the anniversary.
Then I thought i''d be more helpful:)
japad12 ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 12:09:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rise of the Third Reich
PM_ME_UR_WHISKEY ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that lol, the Sieg Heil still cracks me up
Cabotju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it, what gave a sieg Heil?
Dark_Knight7096 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His dick got hard in the front of the class as he gave his presentation.
His "lil Hitler" gave a "seig Heil"
Cabotju ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh I thought he meant something on the gun lmao
lavjames ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 11:30:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/NvEnFNi.gifv
milkradio ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:36:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This belongs in /r/youseeingthisshit
brdzgt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:44 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually a frontpage post not long ago.
milkradio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:13 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Well then it was right where it belonged.
sashslingingslasher ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 11:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has the most infectious laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yx2YiMALbWY
Dragoncafe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:47:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/contagiouslaughter
:)
DeadZoom ยท 3579 points ยท Posted at 09:36:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a man of the PC Master race, who can't appreciate this pic?
Edit: Added that comma and question mark, I swear I got an A in English class.
goldswim77 ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 13:02:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs a comma
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and a question mark
woodmoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always perplexed me how some people would use capital letters, apostrophes, and proper spelling, and still not use any punctuation. I think it's a millennial trend.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read it, like, 4 times before I understood what he's trying to say.
// EDIT: Added a comma or two.
metaobject ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a question mark?
PenIslandTours ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:48:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a question, Mark?
rangkloic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:27:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hi Mark
ThePegasi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:03:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a question mark.
The_Immoral_God ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a man? of the P,C Master race who can't appreciate this pic
FTFY
ReallyLongLake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe he just has a crappy PC.
Gets_overly_excited ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:54:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A console user would be smart enough to know that.
Edit: I should have known that making a joke about this would make PC people cry.
enlou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a question mark.
ColdPorridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like th,is?
jonnyp11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as him saying his PC was shit, and no better than a console. Yours is probably right though
phosporus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/hF589_X_JJg
Kingofawesome13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
T,his? Th,is? Thi,s?
btao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand some inner city child just got named
goldswim77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peace restored
Dukmiester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he just can't appreciate that pic.
avacado_of_the_devil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
,
fakeittilyoumakeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. It's just an unfinished statement. We just know that he can't appreciate this pic as a man of the PC master race.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if he is saying that he can't appreciate the pic.
Skorpazoid ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 12:48:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There needs to be an album of these.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 13:17:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FlameSpartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:57:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but I'm too busy with my beautiful games.
And I'm sure I'd be shit at Photoshop.
empurrfekt ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:32:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't you appreciate it? Why did you save it if you can't appreciate it?
youngsexylegend ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:55:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unmodded vs modded
IceCreamBalloons ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:04:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this works better because otherwise that image says PC gamers want their games to be really high resolution but aesthetically shitty.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:25:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more like "original vs texture mod"
NoSwiftyNo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
consolelivesmatter
KA1N3R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PC is mustard race, consoles need to ketchup
Luceo_Etzio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fishpost
Summerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what? Why can't you appreciate it?
CeaRhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprisingly enough, I was surprised to see how the PC quality isn't that beautiful. I dunno what I expected but damn was I disappointed :(
KJ6BWB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:13:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL WOW was meant to be played on a console.
Luceo_Etzio ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:37:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, WoW is also 12 years old
KJ6BWB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:41:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are other games about that old with more photorealistic styles. I was commenting on the purposefully cartoonish style of WOW.
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 13:24:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People would probably say xbox vs ps
famalamo ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 13:13:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I game steam to my PC because it makes my Xbox work harder and the video is better because it's trying to be โบ๏ธ
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:23:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, I understood half of that.
Aeikon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:41:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he ment he likes to game on Steam becuase otherwise his Xbox works way too hard and doesn't put out the same quality.
Gets_overly_excited ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:56:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a professional interpreter?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:55:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's a retard interpreter.
famalamo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I use the game sream it uses my PC and Xbox at the same time so I get double power from my PC and my xbox ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao why downvote them? This needs gold if you ask me
famalamo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to lure someone into my hilarious KENM trap because I know they think I'm wrong for using my Xbox and PC but it goes faster if you use both. Double power ๐๐
i_guess_i_smoke ยท 327 points ยท Posted at 13:24:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/OmhrIx1.gifv this cracks me up everytime.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:46:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck let Terry Gilliam in?
ansermachin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terry Gilliam in the internet age
Mister_McGreg ยท 362 points ยท Posted at 12:18:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hottest midget in the world!NSFW
masterpainimeanbetty ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 13:00:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i would fuck that little person
WaffleRafl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:53:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
masterpainimeanbetty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:49:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm worried that this is going to be my highest-scoring comment
SnickycrowJayC ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:59:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to make it.
Hammerjaw ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 14:19:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no way of proving this, but I went to the same school as her. One day a friend of mine was late for class and jumped right over her while running down the hall.
Scarbane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't even have to be high.
Imago_Mothtoya ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:01:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that friend's name...was Albert Einstein.
A_Hobo_In_Training ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:34:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I clicked it thinking "No god damn way."
You were right. That is one hot woman, midget or not.
nosoulginga ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:01:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My confused boner and I would like to thank you.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 13:37:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i wonder if she has one of those pre school toilets in her house
Mister_McGreg ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 13:48:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with an ass like that, boyo.
trainwreck42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:42:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think about how big your dick would look in her hands...
BrutalBearMan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:48:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so happy that it is exactly who I thought it was.
BionicHawki ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:48:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't think it was gonna be the hottest midget in the world. Pleasantly surprised. 10/10 midget
easierthistime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:53:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a straight lady, but I would like to put her in my pocket! So adorable!
imtoolazytothinkofit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the little woman from HopFrog
pervbbcthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yaassssss!
FullplateHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... Damn.
WatermelonSized ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 13:21:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's her name? Hahaha asking for a bud of mine. Hahaha you know...for science and stuff. nervous laughter
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:36:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
KapiTod ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:52:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She has only done modelling, never any hardcore.
ziggrrauglurr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:01:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to do a Kickstarter.
KapiTod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah according to her Twitter she's happily married and retired from modelling.
ziggrrauglurr ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:24:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"There are no lack of whores, only lack of investors" - Argentinian movie, paraphrased.
ImOnFireHelpMe ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 12:51:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy": https://i.imgur.com/LKOMfBD.gifv
Cm0002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such a G O O D B O Y E
Dubalubawubwub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what we did as a species to deserve dogs.
TheMicroguy ยท 218 points ยท Posted at 10:22:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv/
reciprocal_space ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:32:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My abs are dead after reading that.
Alcarinque88 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:07:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I usually hate "reviews" like this. People telling me I'll laugh at something or that I can't stop laughing while watching their stupid cat video. How do they know what I think is funny? This was so hilarious. I really had to stop reading and find my place a few seconds later, tears in my eyes and knots in my abs, after a bout of laughter.
eviktion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I didn't have 2 bruised ribs because I haven't laughed this hard since I read it the first time.
crosswatt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:08:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my all-time favorite Reddit stories.
Allthefoodintheworld ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:09:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This too is my all time favorite.
MuteSecurityO ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking lost it at that
Gexey93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't cried laughing in a long time, my cheeks still hurt from smiling. Thanks for saving and sharing that
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he doing a Larry David bit when he says preeeetay preeeeetay good?
smokeythel3ear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god that made me cry with laughter
Theproton ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 12:04:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this NSFW cosplay http://i.imgur.com/Op6cgav.gif
MadameHootsALot ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 15:50:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was... more nsfw then I initially thought. Godamn.
ItPains ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You opened it at work, didn't you?
MadameHootsALot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:24:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure did!
28Hz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So there is a certain amount of NSFW that you're comfortable with, at work, but this crossed the line?
MadameHootsALot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:38:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure is!
.....
To elaborate, normally when people post NSFW Cosplay, its something like a full view of ass, or maybe someone's left tit is hanging out. This is what I would classify as SFW NSFW. Its borderline 'thou shalt not view at work, or while on free starbucks wifi'. I was not expecting the .gif above to have someone in a cosplay just going at it. It was a bit of a shock, and therefore more nsfw then I had initially thought. Does.... does this make sense?
IceDevilGray-Sama ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:19:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ryuko Matoi fingering herself. interesting.
candyman337 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think her name is unicornkittenqueen?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:03:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
candyman337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't look very long haha, I'm at work, and as stated elsewhere, it was way more NSFW than expected
chakrablocker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Original thread?
Theproton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfwcosplay/comments/4v6rew/ryuko_rubbing_one_out/
srottydoesntknow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh, so that's what happens at the end of the series
freebooterDplunderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... :-(
everyperson ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 12:31:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you have a garden in New Zealand?
One of the very few reddit threads that had me in tears from laughing.
evilxerox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious.. and now I'm not really sure what to believe...
insan3soldiern ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:19 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god the breaking bad post was pretty great.
TheOrgasmFairy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is an extremely good representation of NZ humour in general.
Jimmyleith ยท 355 points ยท Posted at 12:43:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/zZt2bU1.gif
clayface_17 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 15:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't they edit Michael Cera?
El_Robertonator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got something for you, wait here!
thewindssong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't nose what to do with this.
IceCreamBalloons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nonose
Twitstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we're talkin'. Have an upvote, sunshine.
[deleted] ยท 795 points ยท Posted at 10:52:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 708 points ยท Posted at 12:29:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: NSFW (obviously)
In case anyone wants the full thing (too many subs to put in a multi reddit)
I got you
/r/60fpsporn /r/agedbeauty /r/amateur /r/amateurarchives /r/analgw /r/anjelica_ebbi /r/artgw /r/asiancumsluts /r/asianfetish /r/asianhotties /r/asianhottiesgifs /r/asiannsfw /r/asianporn /r/asiansgonewild /r/askredditafterdark /r/assholebehindthong /r/athleticgirls /r/bbcsluts /r/bbw /r/bbwgw /r/bdsmgw /r/baddragon /r/beautifultitsandass /r/bigblackbootygifs /r/bigboobsgw /r/bigboobsgonewild /r/blonde /r/blowjobgifs /r/blowjobs /r/boltedonbooty /r/boltedonmaxed /r/bondage /r/bondageblowjobs /r/bonermaterial /r/boobies /r/bottomless_vixens /r/breastenvy /r/breeding /r/bustynaturals /r/bustypetite /r/buttsharpies /r/buttsandbarefeet /r/cameltoegirls /r/celebfakes /r/celebritybutts /r/celebritynipples /r/celebritypussy /r/cellshots /r/changingrooms /r/christiangirls /r/complexionexcellence /r/cuckold /r/cumshotselfies /r/curls /r/darkangels /r/dirtyfamilyphotos /r/dirtysnapchat /r/drunkgirls /r/eatthatpussy /r/ebony /r/exhibitionistsex /r/exxxtras /r/faceandasshole /r/facefuck /r/facialfun /r/facials /r/femdom /r/festivalsluts /r/filthygirls /r/fisting /r/flashinggirls /r/gwcouples /r/gwnerdy /r/gemplugs /r/giannamichaels /r/girlscuddling /r/girlsfinishingthejob /r/girlsinsocks /r/girlswithtoys /r/girlsinstripedsocks /r/girlswithglasses /r/girlswithneonhair /r/goneerotic /r/gonemild /r/gonewildcd /r/gonewildhairy /r/gonewildplus /r/gonewildsmiles /r/gonewildtube /r/gravure /r/groupofnudegirls /r/happyembarrassedgirls /r/hardboltons /r/hersheyskisstits /r/highresnsfw /r/homemadensfw /r/hotchickswithtattoos /r/hotness /r/hotwife /r/hugedicktinychick /r/hugeboobshardcore /r/hungrybutts /r/incestporn /r/indianbabes /r/indianporn /r/indiansgonewild /r/innie /r/intensebdsm /r/japaneseporn2 /r/juliekennedy /r/kateeowen /r/labiagw /r/latinasgw /r/legalteens /r/lipsthatgrip /r/lovetowatchyouleave /r/mariaryabushkina /r/miamalkova /r/middleeasternhotties /r/milfinstockings /r/mooning /r/mouthwideopen /r/mycherrycrush /r/nsfw411 /r/nsfwcostumes /r/nsfwfunny /r/nsfw_gif /r/nsfw_html5 /r/nsfw_hardbodies /r/nsfw_japan /r/nsfw_korea /r/nsfw_snapchat /r/nsfw_wallpapers /r/nsfw_nospam /r/nipples /r/notsafefornature /r/nowyoureallyseeme /r/o_face /r/o_faces /r/ohlympics /r/oilporn /r/onherknees /r/onoff /r/onlygoodporn /r/page3glamour /r/pantiestotheside /r/pantyfetish /r/pee /r/petitegonewild /r/piercednsfw /r/playboy /r/pokeporn /r/porngifs /r/porngifsbybot /r/pornstars /r/pornstarrating /r/presenting /r/publicflashing /r/puffies /r/pussyjuices /r/pussymound /r/randomactsofblowjob /r/randomactsofmuffdive /r/randomactsofnsfw /r/realgirls /r/rugsonly /r/ruinedorgasms /r/summertimeheat /r/scenegirls /r/sexinfrontofothers /r/sexiestpetites /r/sexsells /r/sexy /r/sexybutnotporn /r/sexyfrex /r/sexygirlsinboots /r/sexyinjeans /r/sexytummies /r/shinyporn /r/sissies /r/sluttystrangers /r/sofuckable /r/socialmediasluts /r/spanking /r/spreadem /r/stacked /r/stomachdownfeetup /r/stoyaxxx /r/straightgirlsplaying /r/stretchingit /r/tessafowler /r/thehangingboobs /r/theunderbun /r/thickchixxx /r/tickling /r/tightshorts /r/tinytits /r/titties /r/tittydrop /r/topdownthong /r/toplessinjeans /r/tributeme /r/trim /r/unashamed /r/uncutporn /r/underweargw /r/unrealgirls /r/upskirt /r/vapers_gonewild /r/weddingringsshowing /r/woahpoon /r/womenofcolor /r/womenofcolour /r/workit /r/wouldyoufuckmywife /r/wtsstadamit /r/xsome /r/yayamateurs /r/yogapants /r/aa_cups /r/adultgifs /r/airboobs /r/altgonewild /r/amateurcumsluts /r/anal /r/areolas /r/ass /r/ass_to_ass /r/ass_to_ssa /r/asshole /r/assholegonewild /r/assinthong /r/asslick /r/asstastic /r/augustames /r/barelylegalteens /r/bdsm /r/beef_flaps /r/before_after_cumsluts /r/bestofblowjobs /r/bestofboobies /r/bestofcollege /r/bestofcumsluts /r/bestoflingerie /r/bigareolas /r/bigasses /r/bikinis /r/bimbofetish /r/blackchickswhitedicks /r/bodyshots /r/boltedontits /r/boobbounce /r/boobgifs /r/boobs /r/booty /r/booty_gifs /r/braandpanties /r/brunette /r/bubbling /r/burstingout /r/bustyasians /r/bustybabes /r/butterface /r/buttplug /r/buttsex /r/cameltoe /r/camwhores /r/cat_girls /r/celebnsfw /r/celebsnaked /r/celebsunleashed /r/chubby /r/cleavage /r/collared /r/collegesluts /r/cougars /r/creampies /r/cuckquean /r/cumcoveredfucking /r/cumfetish /r/cumsluts /r/cunnilingus /r/curvy /r/damngoodinterracial /r/datgap /r/deepthroat /r/dirtykikpals /r/dirtypenpals /r/dirtyr4r /r/dirtysmall /r/distension /r/dopplebangher /r/downblouse /r/dreamjobs /r/dykesgonewild /r/facedownassup /r/facesitting /r/femalepov /r/fitgirls /r/forcedorgasms /r/freshfromtheshower /r/funsized /r/gape /r/gettingherselfoff /r/gifsgonewild /r/gilf /r/ginger /r/girlsinleggings /r/girlsinyogapants /r/girlskissing /r/girlswhoride /r/gonewild /r/gonewildaudio /r/gonewildcolor /r/gonewildcouples /r/gonewildcurvy /r/gonewildstories /r/grool /r/groupsex /r/gwcumsluts /r/hadom /r/hardanal /r/havoc_bot /r/highheelsnsfw /r/holdthemoan /r/homegrowntits /r/homemadexxx /r/hugeboobs /r/hugenaturals /r/iwanttofuckher /r/incest /r/insertions /r/jilling /r/jobuds /r/joi /r/juicyasians /r/kinksters_gone_wild /r/kpopfap /r/latinas /r/leannadecker /r/leggingsgonewild /r/legs /r/legsup /r/legwrap /r/leotards /r/lesbians /r/lesdom /r/lifeisabeach /r/lineups /r/lingerie /r/maturemilf /r/mellisaclarke /r/metart /r/milf /r/milf_nowandforever /r/mycleavage /r/naturaltitties /r/nipslip /r/notits /r/nsfw /r/nsfw2 /r/nsfw2/ /r/nsfw_gifs /r/nsfw_videos /r/nsfwcosplay /r/nsfwhardcore /r/nsfwoutfits /r/omgbeckylookathiscock /r/outercourse /r/painal /r/palegirls /r/panties /r/pantyhose /r/passionx /r/patriciacaprice /r/petite /r/pokies /r/porn /r/pornid /r/porn_gifs /r/porninfifteenseconds /r/pornvids /r/pronebone /r/pussy /r/randomsexiness /r/randomsexygifs /r/ravenhaired /r/realbikinis /r/rearpussy /r/redheads /r/rule34 /r/runwaynudity /r/seethru /r/selfshots /r/sexygirlsinjeans /r/shewantstofuck /r/shorthairchicks /r/simps /r/skinnytail /r/slutsbedrunk /r/snapchat_sluts /r/sodomy /r/spreadeagle /r/spreading /r/squirting /r/starwarsnsfw /r/stockings /r/suctiondildos /r/suicidegirls /r/tailplug /r/tanlines /r/thefullbush /r/thick /r/thick_clothed /r/thighhighs /r/thinspo /r/throatpies /r/tight_shorts /r/tightdresses /r/tightsqueeze /r/tipofmypenis /r/tits /r/titstouchingtits /r/torpedotits /r/trashyboners /r/treatemright /r/treesgonewild /r/twerking /r/unashamed /r/underarms /r/upherbutt /r/usedpanties /r/vagina /r/voluptuous /r/vulva /r/wet /r/whooties /r/wifesharing /r/wincest /r/womenofcolorxxx /r/workgonewild /r/xray /r/xsmallgirls /r/youtubetitties
Intergalactic_Noob ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:56:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save
PillowDan ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:44:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The NSFW411 wiki is good for finding specific subreddits if you dont want to search for them in a giant list
Shermanate ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:11:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir have just given me enough material to get me through the rest of the day. Thank you, faceless hero.
throwawayplsremember ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:36:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on one's efficiency, this amount of content can last for a month
Hatandboots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We could probably make a random wheel that would select a random one every day
Dernroberto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sync reddit app on mobile has a built in random NSFW function.
If_In_Doubt_Lick_It ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:17:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/randnsfw is my go to porn sub.
NSFW in case you werent sure...
Tchukachinchina ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:00:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your username fits you well.
oh_jaimito ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:57:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Original comment was deleted. Here are the
redditp.comlinks in alphabetical order ;) (all 184 of them)/r/60fpsporn
/r/adultgifs
/r/altgonewild
/r/amateur
/r/AmateurArchives
/r/anal
/r/analporn
/r/Annoyedtobenude
/r/asianhotties
/r/AsianHottiesGIFS
/r/AsiansGoneWild
/r/ass
/r/ass_cleavage
/r/asshole
/r/asslick
/r/asstastic
/r/beach
/r/beefflaps
/r/BigBoobsGW
/r/bikinibridge
/r/blondes
/r/blowjobs
/r/boltedontits
/r/bondage
/r/boobies
/r/Bottomless_Vixens
/r/boyshorts
/r/braceface
/r/brickhouse
/r/BubbleButts
/r/burstingout
/r/bustypetite
/r/buttsex
/r/camwhores
/r/CandidFashionPolice
/r/celebnsfw
/r/celebs
/r/cfnf
/r/changingrooms
/r/chixxx_gifs
/r/cleavage
/r/CollegeAmateurs
/r/collegesluts
/r/CosplayBoobs
/r/cosplaygirls
/r/creampies
/r/cumfetish
/r/Cumonin
/r/cumshot
/r/cumsluts
/r/darkangels
/r/datass
/r/datgap
/r/datgrip
/r/dirtysmall
/r/ecchi
/r/facedownassup
/r/femalepov
/r/FestivalSluts
/r/Fingering
/r/fitgirls
/r/forcedorgasms
/r/FTVgirls
/r/fuckyeahsexyteens
/r/funsized
/r/fuxtaposition
/r/ginger
/r/gingerpuss
/r/GirlsFinishingTheJob
/r/girlsflashing
/r/girlsinyogapants
/r/girlskissing
/r/girlsplayingsports
/r/girlswithglasses
/r/gloryhole
/r/GoneMild
/r/gonewild
/r/gothsluts
/r/gwcouples
/r/GWNerdy
/r/HappyEmbarrassedGirls
/r/happygaps
/r/hardbodies
/r/hentai
/r/hentai_gif
/r/highheels
/r/holdthemoan
/r/Hot_Women_Gifs
/r/hotchickswithtattoos
/r/hugeboobs
/r/iwanttofuckher
/r/JiggleFuck
/r/jilling
/r/juicyasians
/r/kpopfap
/r/latinas
/r/LaundryDay
/r/legalteens
/r/lesbian_pov
/r/lesbians
/r/lingerie
/r/LipsThatGrip
/r/mandingo
/r/milf
/r/models
/r/MoxiiAndFriends
/r/nipples
/r/nobsnsfw
/r/NotSafeForNature
/r/nsfw
/r/nsfw2
/r/nsfw_gifs
/r/NSFW_nospam
/r/nsfw_wallpapers
/r/nsfwhardcore
/r/nsfwoutfits
/r/o_faces
/r/onoff
/r/orgasms
/r/palegirls
/r/panties
/r/pantsu
/r/passionx
/r/PetiteGoneWild
/r/pics_nsfw
/r/pigtails
/r/pinkshoes
/r/pokies
/r/porn
/r/porninfifteenseconds
/r/pornstars
/r/primes
/r/PublicFlashing
/r/pussy
/r/randomsexiness
/r/realbikinis
/r/realgirls
/r/redheads
/r/rule34
/r/russiangirls
/r/scenegirls
/r/serafuku
/r/SexiestPetites
/r/sheerpanties
/r/shewantstofuck
/r/skinnytail
/r/skivvies
/r/slutsbedrunk
/r/smokin
/r/snapchat_sluts
/r/snowgirls
/r/SocialMediaSluts
/r/SoFuckable
/r/StealthVibes
/r/suicidegirls
/r/sukebei
/r/tanlines
/r/Tgirls
/r/thick
/r/thighhighs
/r/tightdresses
/r/TightShorts
/r/TinyTits
/r/tits
/r/TittyDrop
/r/trashyboners
/r/treatemright
/r/Unashamed
/r/undies
/r/upskirt
/r/videogamebabes
/r/videogamebabes
/r/volleyballgirls
/r/voluptuous
/r/WatchItForThePlot
/r/wifesharing
/r/womenofcolor
/r/workgonewild
/r/WtSSTaDaMiT
/r/xart
/r/xsmallgirls
/r/XXX_Animated_Gifs
/r/YogaPants
/r/yuri
edit: spacing and proper linkage
luckylamp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like OP just accidentally deleted this and that is why he tagged his post as nsfw so someone could post it.
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like it got removed. The mods removed this list in a other thread a month or so ago. Idk why they do that, it's really stupid especially when its getting upvoted like crazy and they leave the replies up.
luckylamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't it get removed because there wasn't any NFSW tag?
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk
SnailFricker69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God's work
Lvl60Lucario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bruh
Redshirt2386 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So basically all you do is jerk off, right?
You're jerking it right now, aren't you?
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no, I got that from /r/copypasta at some point and saved it for threads like these. If you can believe it, I actually only use one of those in that list to get off to. The rest don't really interest me.
Angry_Magpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok which one? It makes me think you have really really specific interests, haha.
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha nah not gonna put that out there. But, yes. Very specific.
Angry_Magpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heeheehee
waterhead99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn man. You put a lot of effort into this. Impressive.
citrus_monkeybutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Missed stealth vibe, I think.
Also saved.
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a sub?
citrus_monkeybutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess /r/stealthvibes is, yeah. Not a whole lot in there though.
Seize_the_means1922 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time to do some research
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hero we don't deserve
nauru_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn
TurdFurgersonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theian01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going to go ahead and comment for later.
Struwwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, Jesus.
MatiasUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How... I mean, how?
Actually_is_Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's easy, I'm Jesus
f-stop4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
megusta211096 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save for later
wives_nuns_sluts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit
shelf_satisfied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
praise Jesus
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:34 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck! ๐ฎ
Shan007tjuuh ยท 641 points ยท Posted at 12:00:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For those on mobile (NSFW):
https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
EDIT: Should be obvious but marked as NSFW
Credit goes to /u/FREEWIFIHERE
Scarnox ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:23:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't work on my mobile, yet the other one does... sorta. Videos don't seem to work :((
Grigan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't work on mine also :(
Scarnox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either*
Grigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So my first idea was right:/ I just wasn't sure about the spelling and the meaning which google gave me didn't fit ๐
HelloIA ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck I accidentally clicked subscribe and it won't let me undo it
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:19:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Shan007tjuuh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same :(
ThreeYardLoss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:37:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaaaand saved!
dubs2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that didn't help at all!
DeagleMcShieldy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:52 on July 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
o
Sideshowcomedy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shame this doesn't work well on the Alien Blue app.
PaigeTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The R&D must have been rough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that's comprehensive.
Cabotju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legend
irish_chippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus lordy!!!!
BiGrolarBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:46 on September 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/60fpsporn+Amateur+BigBoobsGW+Blondes+Blowjobs+Bondage+BoobiesCosplayBoobs+Cumflation+FestivalSluts+GWCouples+GWNerdy+GirlsFinishingTheJob+HENTAI_GIF+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+JiggleFuck++NSFW_nospam+Nipples+NoBSNSFW+NotSafeForNature+O_Faces+OnOff+Orgasms+Pics_NSFW+PornStars+PublicFlashing+SceneGirls+StealthVibes+TinyTits+WatchItForThePlot+WomenOfColor+WtSSTaDaMiT+XXX_Animated_Gifs+YogaPants+adultgifs+altgonewild+ass_cleavage+boyshorts+braceface+burstingout+cleavage+collegesluts+cosplaygirlscumfetish+cumshot+cumsluts+datgap+datgrip+dirtysmall+ecchi+facedownassup+femalepov+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+funsized+fuxtaposition+happygaps+hardbodies+henta+hugeboobs+latinas+lesbian_pov+lesbians+lingerie+mandingo+milf+nsfw2+nsfw_gifs+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+palegirls+panties+pantsu+passionx+pigtails+pinkshoes+pokies+porn+porninfifteenseconds+randomsexiness+rule34+russiangirls+snapchat_sluts+snowgirls+suicidegirls+tanlines+thick+thighhighs+tightdresses+tits+trashyboners+voluptuous+wifesharing+titfuck+clothedtitfuck+xsmallgirls+yuri/top/
Just ignore this...
Imma_Don ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 11:21:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
Guitar46 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just came here to say god damn.
God damn.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:04:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:11:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iamtheforger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that the whole point
JoXand ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 11:51:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn involves sex
Sex is part of reproduction
Reporoduction is part of biology
Biology is a science
Porn is a part of science
EDIT: For those tuning in right now, OP has just deleted his post. IIRC it was something about porn.
agumonkey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Science has always been about reproducibility.
HeronSun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
the_real_gorrik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im convinced
w4n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thus this post shall remain at exactly 34 up votes.
Edit: Damn it Reddit!
JoXand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"34"
Visit_MNPH_Subreddit ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:24:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
DrThroatpunch ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 11:34:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got
DrThroatpunch ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 11:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn.
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you two got the same amount of upvotes, equal reward.
a_fish_out_of_water ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's one person
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fock. I've been had.
DrThroatpunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We both still appreciate it
BaconMaster64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PLANE
Lachshmock ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:44:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
IsuckAndIknowIt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:08:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn
Imma_Don ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
Imma_Don ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:21:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
r220 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:18:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn
mikskywalker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:22:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn.
Badassgypsy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:34:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got damn
JamesTrendall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annnnnndddddd SAVED!
Dearest_Caroline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
It is now my favorite thing in the saved section.
MrMastodon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/randnsfw
For that roulette style masturbation.
fugogugo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:23:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I.. uh.. Got Damn..
NoobsGoFly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy reddits
FogeltheVogel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How exactly does that work? Does it just take random pictures from all those subs?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that link so long?
jsideris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a concatenation of the names of a bunch of sub reddits. Tells redditp which subs to scrape for image links.
FlippantAsshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mother of god.
Getdownlikesyndrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, saved.
OnceAToaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn
shazarakk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone forgot /r/twingirls
dinakdakan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First ever time I had a use for 'save'.
Kiux97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't even aware so many NSFW subreddits existed.
Lazy_Assed_Magician ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always love when these threads pop up because I have this saved but it's buried among many other saved posts, so I get a chance to save a more recent one.
FPS_Coke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaand NOW I have something in my saved content that I can say is truly a favorite.
beetnemesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, this looks impressive, but I don't think I'd ever use this- kind of defeats the whole purpose of having subreddits devided by topic, to me.
Plz_Gooby_No ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And saved.
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no time for this, man...
http://i.imgur.com/M6AxABX.jpg?2
Apparently_Coherent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
poweredby2dor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now in my saved things
baldurs_mate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaand, saaaveeedd.
Denamic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thank
StoppedLurking_ZoeQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For all those scientists out there watch out, there is some traps hidden in here.
Guitar46 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:30:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You see. ... this is the on of down falls of being male. No matter how old you get you still love young naked women. I honestly think this is a huge part of the divorce rates. Women find older men attractive...it's the opposite for men. I'm not saying I'm against marriage or that it's harder to be a male. I do think it's easier to be a guy but women don't understand this element of being male.
Edit- I really do not care about the votes. You can check my profile. I recently had a comment go below 1300. The only thing I ask is that you at least reply to my comment. It's something that genuinely scares me about marriage. I have many friends who are married and they are no longer romantically attracted to their wife. They stay in the marriage because of kids or another reason. I know I'm not the only one who has these thoughts. I'd actually like to have a genuine conversation about this subject.
the_real_gorrik ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:57:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet Christmas
GVRoro ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/randnsfw
I'll leave this peace of magic here.
ChefBoyAreWeFucked ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more of a Ron guy, but thanks.
Pickselated ยท 730 points ยท Posted at 11:27:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4chan's capcha comics
[deleted] ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 13:56:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHO TURGLED?
superherocostume ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:50:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I still say this to each other on a fairly regular basis. It must have been about 3 or 4 years ago when we saw it first.
brosenfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was me...
sidekickplayah ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 13:59:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Newspaper ignizzle
Jurjin ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 13:25:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullatio and McManus made me lol
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the detail on his face in McManus.
Remi_The_master ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:56:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEWPAPER IGNIZZLE. I'm fucking dead that shit is hilarious. I lost it before that one already but when I saw that one I found my shit and lost it again.
ILikeCatsAndBoobs ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 12:51:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm laughing out loud, I love these so much, but I really don't know why
Pickselated ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:58:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how absurd and creative they are hahaha
tcoolb ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/captchacomics
dontthrowthemin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:16:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that anyone will believe me, but I was part of the thread that created a bunch of these on /b/ in ~2007. I made the "crook things" comic.
mambotomato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good one! I'm proud of you.
IRENE420 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucking crying at the airport looking at these
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:03:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck the new captcha system
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:44:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
newspaper ignizzle!
blatantbourbon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am literally ugly cry laughing.. this is amazing
winter_mutant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These made me literally laugh out loud for the first time in probably over a week! Just absolutely amazing. I couldn't even tell you why they're funny.
S_I_K_E ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
daingert Maddyn whyd you gotta gert pregante
fenian1798 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I haven't seen these in years. "Sixteen nighter" cracks me up every time
CryptMonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Daingert Madelyn" has been a common exclamation among my friend group for so many years. It was strange seeing the original again
pokexchespin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the context of who turgled? How did I not realize sooner
BurningPalm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:24:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me there's a subreddit for these!
winter_mutant ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/CaptchaArt is another one.
Pickselated ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:17:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/captchacomics
HatCovetingPutin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:09:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember there being a "cult" for these silly things, /r/Inglip/ which was a cross between rage comics and silly captchas.
No one goes there anymore, 'tis a silly place. :v
gnbman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I miss that meme.
cockandballtorture ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't let your dreams be dreams
penisinthepeanutbttr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"that Moonshot". dead
HamfacePorktard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find myself saying Daingert all the time because of these.
NomNomNommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oldie but goodie
archaon-jam ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 13:26:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a terrible person, but this will never cease to make me laugh - make a wish
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:49:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not terrible. At least that one is fake. This is my favorite.
archaon-jam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahahahha love it.
OfficialPizzaa ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:27:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/0vs7ne8.gifv
I love panda's
Ginger-saurus-rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
panda's what?
stixanstones ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:32:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://radio.garden/
It's a website that shows actively transmitting radio stations around the globe. Really cool to listen to a radio show from Germany, then switch over to one in Argentina.
tampatiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn... thanks for posting this!
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:41 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite things. Thanks for sharing it with others! :D
slaaitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:45 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But for some reason like half of the commercials in France and Germany are for Office Depot, and they're in English.
PM_ME_DARK_MATTER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:04 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, this is awesome!
proleteriate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:44 on November 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Radio on the internet!!!
321reniart ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:56:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope im not too late
http://imgur.com/gallery/pHUdq
ive had this saved for about 3 years now
MISREADS-YOUR-POSTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saves comment
321reniart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me when i found this link
MrHagiY0 ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 10:19:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just can copy it because its to much for one picture. I was just speechless. "so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5 times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit a high enough altitude when i finally hear: ding "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2 square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated. turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor. still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes ding ding ding ding, making my situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain, looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring. i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Shoutout to u/Cpt_Tripps for the story. Not sure if my link works as im on mobile
Farobi ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 11:53:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is what it is. Fucking lol
KA1N3R ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:45:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so retarded it could be true.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:42:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Day[9] is a magnificent storyteller.
muffley ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently Ctp_Tripps is actually /u/zngelday9
Anonymoose207 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was amazing, thank you
pand-aid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this Day9?
truthovergod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite part of this story is that there is a direct flight from somewhere to our airport.
ProletarianParka ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 12:37:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some guys build a huge Trojan horse and take it to various locations to see if they can get past security
Also: http://i.imgur.com/YlKp9og.gifv
Technicalchawal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was fun.love the Aussie wankers.
Peregrine_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's "the chasers war on everything"
there is a lot of episodes, but lots of the content is focused around making fun of Australian politics, and is mostly relevant to the time it was created
Agarn_Fortez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the second one might have been based on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqlrru1V69E
hellomoto335 ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 13:32:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm a little late but I have this gem https://i.imgur.com/eAi3eQ2.gifv
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:58:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IS that Ainsley Harriott?
isyourlisteningbroke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:06:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is... is that Ainsley Harriott?
hellomoto335 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:54:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is Ainsley Harriot duping a punk
greath ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the best time to sex to become pregnart?
Also this
rift_in_the_warp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at that cat's face. Havn't laughed this hard in a while.
Confused_AF_Help ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:23:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucking a 1-pound gummy bear with Imperial March playing in the background
Don't worry, that link only leads to his comment and the updates
TheGnudist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome
Tommygun7468 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:29:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet I try to forget about this.
turncoat_ewok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not nearly as exciting as I anticipated.
Turbodew007 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 13:16:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6ii97i/what_is_the_best_nsfw_life_hack/dj70al9 Just read it
my-other-car-is-a-__ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:14:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to upvote it. Realized I already had at some point. :)
mod1fier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went out and bought magic after reading this
cartwheelnurd ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 14:30:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/rqZ4T8T.jpg
Makes me laugh every time.
-yenn- ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 13:41:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW Boobs
Boobs 2
Boobs 3
Boobs 4
Boobs 5
Boobs 6
Boobs 7
Boobs 8
Boobs 9
Boobs 10
Boobs 11
Boobs 12
Boobs 13
Fully Nude 1
Fully Nude 2
Fully Nude 3
Fully Nude 4
Fully Nude 5
Fully Nude 6
Fully Nude 7
Fully Nude 8
Fully Nude 9
Fully Nude 10
Fully Nude 11
Fully Nude 12
Fully Nude 13
Fully Nude 14
Booty 1
Bonus Gif! Different women, and one of my favorites.
More, more, more, more, and still more.
Courtesy of /u/Anaphase, the woman is the former GW user /u/lanazoid.
Courtesy of /u/HallelujahBacon, she also posted as /u/moralhexx
All credits to /u/Forgive_My_Cowardice since he is the master boobs collector and maintainer of this list
Forgive_My_Cowardice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:20:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I posted an updated one here.
-yenn- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was you! Adding credit to you too since the comment that I saved got deleted in the post but somehow it still shows up in my saved so I copy-pasted it
Forgive_My_Cowardice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was me!
Aww, you're too kind.
scotems ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well shucks, those are some nice boobs.
redditbattles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
cant_read_this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool da s
srottydoesntknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, everything you need for the night
Badboyz4life ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 12:58:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon?
poplarleaves ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 14:48:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There goes my childhood
therealocshoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:37 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that's an incredibly high quality gif.
poplarleaves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaddya know, I got it from r/HighQualityGifs! Here's the original post
oh__golly ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:35:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif!
gregorio02 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 12:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This apperently
BabaDuda ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:10:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man every time I read this type of shit I get so depressed.
SmokinDroRogan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their math seems far off with the earth being fucked 100 quintillion years from now. People can't really fathom that number, but the solar system will be destroyed quadrillions or years before that. Sheesh.
ATomatoAmI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:05 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's "assuming we weren't fucked by the sun being big enough to consume us 5.4 bn years from now, and we survive the Big Rip 20bn years from now where the fabric of space itself makes distance between matter infinite, the physical earth would have fallen into the sun just because fuck it anyway".
That's quite a few
billiontrillionquintillion years beyond beating the dead horse, cremating it, reburying the ashes, and those particles being part of many new horses, all of which were also beaten to death and dug back up ad nauseam.bjausel2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well isn't that just a pickmeup....
Tommygun7468 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/100yearclub
32Dog ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 12:48:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/sllztnu9c71z.jpg hmmm
Jack_Ryker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:09:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like something Gob Bluth would make to continue the Bluth Banana Franchise, I can just see it now:
"I've made a huge mistake."
SirSeizureSalad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Banana Grabber
BlueRabbit21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... something isn't quite right about this picture, can't put my finger on it though.
SneakyBadAss ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 12:54:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chair
caanthedalek ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I...I don't believe you.
Ryan526 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:52:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that could have ended so fucking bad
Technicalchawal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy f---.
KenDefender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Training for the redneck space program?
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I felt so bad for that idiot when that first aired.
brdzgt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:33 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/gifsthatendtoosoon
ominousgraycat ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 12:17:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this copypasta saved:
I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn't like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn't possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father's harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school's star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn?t open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral.
I know what you are thinking. How does this story relate to me? Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. You are like this woman. You are like this women because you are a whore.
elaerna ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to clarify - is this just a very long insult
ominousgraycat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:55:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Obviously it would be much more efficient to just call someone a whore and move on, but it is just much more enjoyable to tell a ridiculously long story while doing so.
thricecheck ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have not laughed at something on the internet in my life than i did watching this for the first time. the bathroom
LauraJ94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahahahahahhaah that is my worst nightmare that!
MrCow420 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 12:53:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This amazing workout routine
IronDiggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jujimufu is one crazy fucker.
brdzgt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:59 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crossfit in a nutshell
PM_YOUR_LADY_HUMPS ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 09:04:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This glorious website
I_am_a_Wookie_AMA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:29:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this so damn funny? I've never watched Star Trek, and it still nearly made me fall out of my chair.
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch TNG.
BulletsWithGPS ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:20:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are those quotes from the TNG?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:06:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
foreignsky ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great on desktop, shit on mobile.
Akito_the_Exile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing
L3dpen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The image took a while to load so this was much more impressive for me than it should have been.
Scrolls down
Sees weird message on black background
Scrolls up, sees nothing
Scrolls down, picture appears with different message
Scrolls up, picture changes
sintaur ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pic of Superman in the fifties
ace_vagrant ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 11:48:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently, this nsfw comic from the other day. I laughed so hard, especially at the photoshops in the comments. https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/6jg2vd/neighbors_oc/.compact
quackquackoopz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:14:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear fucking lord I'm in tears here...
THANK YOU
ArabyJames ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:07:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a lot of people thought this was hilarious, but I just really don't understand it.
One_Shot_Finch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:14:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's not really anything to understand. It's just a really stupid, absurd concept. I thought it was hilarious though so I'm biased.
ArabyJames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've laughed at things that are probably just as absurd to others, so there's no shame in it. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't completely missing the point. So, thanks so much for clearing that up.
One_Shot_Finch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course! I can see why you wouldn't find it funny my sense of humor is just really dumb lol
obibeararr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The gold in that one really is in the modded versions
TickleTorture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't figure out why I'm laughing so hard... thanks?
ArabyJames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because you're being Tickle Tortured?
ProbablyanEagleShark ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 11:59:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW fav. SFW fav
MrMastodon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/randnsfw
altfourporn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:38:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why is the first sub I get gayincest...
Freshenstein ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:10:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So.... /r/Supernatural?
A_Hobo_In_Training ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got "bellybuttons".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL redditp can handle multiple subreddits at a time.
darkgalaxypotato ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:49:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
til redditp
[deleted] ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 12:42:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://tomsayshi.com/dndchargen/webgl/index.html
This nice little app for making DnD characters.
pudgehooks2013 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:09:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy. I just recently started a DnD game with several people that have not played before. This would have been awesome. Thanks!
BrooksConrad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant, great find! Thanks for sharing it.
Paukinra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually pretty sweet.
torrasque666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it's now in my saved list
RyghtHandMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u real 4 this
Gygaxfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
Alessiolo ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 12:49:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The weirdest dude just moved in..
Pegacornpower ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:02:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thumbnail sadly spoiled it for me
bighootay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love it. Saved for sure.
3xAmazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck dude
tb0n3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bamboozled!
JimmaJamJamie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So good
ATomatoAmI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:12 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I swear I've read that before but it's a roller coaster every time.
soldsoulrockroll ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 13:33:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll show you something you've never seen before!
https://m.imgur.com/r/Unexpected/rX2N8GS
Tribite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:26:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did not disappoint
ATomatoAmI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:03 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at fucking all
midnightdsob ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 09:44:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/nphah/to_whomever_sent_my_roommate_a_fucking_sword_for
jamesvdawg ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 13:43:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/WindingHandsomeCamel NSFW
Kukukichu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:18:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
North Korea's weapons R&D department
MullGeek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedjihad
Prince_Edward_IV ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Top fuel dragsters, they're insanely powerful.
Edit: Some quick facts you can find through Google.
One Top Fuel dragster 500 cubic-inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower than the first 4 rows at the Daytona 500.
Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 1.2 gallons of nitro methane per second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25% less energy being produced.
A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to merely drive the dragsterโs supercharger.
With 3000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, the fuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition. Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle.
At the stoichiometric 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture for nitro methane the flame front temperature measures 7050 degrees F.
Nitro methane burns yellow. The spectacular white flame seen above the stacks at night is raw burning hydrogen, dissociated from atmospheric water vapor by the searing exhaust gases.
Dual magnetos supply 44 amps to each spark plug. This is the output of an arc welder in each cylinder.
Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After 1/2 way, the engine is dieseling from compression plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1400 degrees F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.
If spark momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up in the affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blow cylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half.
Dragsters reach over 300 MPH before you have completed reading this sentence.
In order to exceed 300 MPH in 4.5 seconds, dragsters must accelerate an average of over 4 Gโs. In order to reach 200 MPH well before half-track, the launch acceleration approaches 8 Gโs.
Top Fuel engines turn approximately 540 revolutions from light to light!
Including the burnout, the engine must only survive 900 revolutions under load.
The redline is actually quite high at 9500 RPM.
THE BOTTOM LINE: Assuming all the equipment is paid off, the crew worked for free, &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; for once, NOTHING BLOWS UP, each run costs an estimated $1,000 per second.
The current Top Fuel dragster elapsed time record is 4.441 seconds for the quarter-mile (10/05/03, Tony Schumacher). The top speed record is 333.00 MPH (533 km/h) as measured over the last 66โฒ of the run (09/28/03, Doug Kalitta).
Putting this all into perspective:
Lets say the you are driving the average $140,000 Lingenfelter twin-turbo powered Corvette Z06.
Over a mile up the road, a Top Fuel dragster is staged &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; ready to launch down a quarter-mile strip as you pass by it. You have the advantage of a flying start. You run the โVette hard up through the gears and blast across the starting line &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; pass the dragster at an honest 200 MPH. Just as you pass the Top Fuel Dragster the โtreeโ goes green for both of you.
The dragster launches &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; starts after you. You keep your foot down hard, but you hear an incredibly brutal whine that sears your eardrums &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; within 3 seconds the dragster catches &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; passes you. He beats you to the finish line, a quarter-mile away from where you just passed him. Think about it โ from a standing start, the dragster had spotted you 200 MPH &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; not only caught, but nearly blasted you off the road when he passed you within a mere 1320 foot long race.
And here's a video of a fuel pump from a dragster running. Keep in mind there are EIGHT of these! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xGTbQuhhluY
Edit 2: A picture of a top fuel engine, a picture of the exhaust at full throttle at night (the noise level can reach 150db), and one of how much the tires are flexed which gives you an idea of how sticky the track is.
http://www.dragracermag.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/DR-1409-MOTOR-02-e1403201449978.jpg
http://www.charlottemotorspeedway.com/images/schumacher-lg.jpg
http://www.ratemyridez.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/top-fuel-dragster.jpg
Edit 3: I apologize for the excessive &amp;amp, I posted from mobile. But I'm leaving it because the thought of one of you reading this out loud screaming ampampamp as fast as they can is hilarious.
Andrew6 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 11:58:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/v1whKCr.mp4
Technicalchawal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow just wow. Thanks
Charyou-Tree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gifsound.com/?gif=33.media.tumblr.com/3e8322778c50c9c6d4baffa3b05d9433/tumblr_ncau2p8RiV1t0pm12o1_500.gif&v=d3pDTfCKjiA&s=13
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might like r/cinemagraphs.
Andrew6 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:02:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean /r/Cinemagraphs, yes I am a subscriber.
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:12:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Capitalizing the c doesn't change where the link goes, just putting it out there.
Andrew6 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:15:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You definitely posted r/cinematagraphs first which isn't a thing...
PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My comment lacks the edited star on it.
sleeeepyj ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:47:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/A6Wwi4b.gifv
lostdorito ยท 287 points ยท Posted at 12:15:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/CHd0SK0.gifv
iamtheforger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zoom in
ENHANCE
GenitalDiddler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well so are his ties so I mean not too triggered
brosenfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His ties are assembled in Mexico?
larrythefatcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...why is a Shure "Shock-Stopper" microphone clip triggering?
Oh, "ASSEMBLED IN MEXICO" is the triggering bit. Shure must employ some bad hombres.
PACO7707 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 10:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/3in0sg/i_get_silly_boy/?ref=share&ref_source=link
krazykieffer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's great. Thanks for sharing.
Cableguy87 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:26:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This https://imgur.com/gallery/PVgkIbV
Crizzli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I thought Bernie was really there at first
macbook_pancakes ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:48:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/nrS7U5d.gifv
TatteredMonk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:38:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lamp Story
Basically a guy lived a 10 year life in 3 seconds or something similar and that shit still haunts me, i hope to never find the lamp
That_one_cool_dude ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:28:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite https://i.imgur.com/LZudz8d.gifv
IceTeaBabyJesus ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:33:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant!
Added sound effect!
caanthedalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, please sound all old and lo-fi!
...
yesss
JePPeLit ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:12:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Gospel Of Supply Side Jesus
GarryOfTheMod ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:53:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite http://i.imgur.com/2nLY5Uv.gifv
svennibenni ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 15:23:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Gif from about 4 years ago.
Mysecretpassphrase ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:15:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW http://i.imgur.com/f7oVXB2.jpg?1
PeytonRoyce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:12:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Butthole lick
carcusmonnor ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:41:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob get ya friend every time this is a winner for me.
gaveedraseven ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:40:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was magnificent.
DenormalHuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idgi?
FSMCA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The funny part is if one of the "Brady bunch" were to call him something like Tyrone or Jamal, they would be labeled racist, but no it's only okay in one direction...
ATomatoAmI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:19 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, man, I've seen some stereotypical Brady Bunch people and I'm white.
Then again I don't know names for stereotypical rednecks or Sperry-wearing trust fund babies either.
ZeiZaoLS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:04 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skeeter and Bradley, respectively.
prof0ak ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:35:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
telling a story over twitter, what a dummy
kindaweirdperson ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 10:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one!I https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/17c8oa/i_23m_just_discovered_prostate_stimulation_and_i/
Had a great time reading it
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:25:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking brilliantly written. Did we ever find out what he did?
Ry4n246 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautiful
Korncakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend and I just started experimenting with prostate stimulation and this was a good read. Aside from you being a kinda weird person, what was your reasoning for enjoying this particular post so much?
kindaweirdperson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way he wrote it was entertaining and tbh it's kinda hot. Idk I get mixed feelings but its def one of my favs
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 14:47:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/1Fz9TbF.gifv
Wait for it.
Illinois_Jones ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:47:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only save things that are useful references. This literal hitchhiker's guide for instance
HowardBass ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:16:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personal favourite.
Streamer gets a donation and he has to play the video clip sent with it https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/67xqs9/streamer_gets_a_donation_and_he_has_to_play_the/
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:09 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was SO awkward. But he plays it off perfectly. "Sup guys."
Katiewitha_k ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:30:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/De7TPa5.gifv
jesterspaz ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:02:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skeletor Exit, its my ONLY saved item. http://i.imgur.com/e8a5w9s.gif
starlord_brincus ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 12:24:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This response by a former disneyland employee in response to a question about whether he had experienced any magical moments during his time. Never fails to make me cry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, thanks for reminding me of that!
QuestParty82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:34 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disney Magic is real and does not belong next to all of the butt stuff in this thread.
ATomatoAmI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:41 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna defend the beauty of butt stuff and tell you to shut the fuck up, but damn, you're right. That's a hell of a story despite being simple.
HALBowman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that story is awesome, although tbh a little confusing.
RobotFighter ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This timeline of Trump's ascension.
grifflyman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:12:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahw it turned into Warhammer 40k
Malacos0303 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:16:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least we kept the Xenos out!
[deleted] ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 13:32:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GrimexReaper ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 14:52:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, without your edit i never would have known the link was NSFW, thanks!
evilf23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god bless swipe view mode in reddit sync.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:39:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cat and the snow
yolafaml ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:06:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/shittynosleep/comments/317rdr/my_dead_dog_keeps_messaging_me_on_facebook_ive/?st=j4fl4wpu&sh=6f99c904
I died the first time I read this. Multiple times. Very spoopy stuff.
Tman125 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:58:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly this.
Borkleberry ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 13:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to make a video game
Jack_Ryker ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to illegitimize game design for a good circlejerk.
Borkleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not illegitimizing game design. It's pointing out shitty practices in the gaming industry.
Jack_Ryker ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's not, it's choosing to perceive practices as containing alterior motives when that's not the reality. You know nothing about game development if you believe that games are purposefully cut up and sold to us later. That makes no sense from a game development standpoint. And it's not like DLC is stabilizing costs in a market with exponentially rising expenses, no they must all be bullshit huh? And it's not like pre-orders actually helps devs obtain additional funds from their publishers and investors, they're all bad too right?
Have fun living in your circlejerk fantasy that has no basis in reality. Must be fun.
Read a book or watch videos about the process of making games before making huge generalizations that shows your lack of understanding of the medium you partake in.
Borkleberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying this is true for every company out there. But there are a few companies who will sell buggy or incomplete-feeling games and then later put out a "dlc" that fixes the bugs and adds the content that makes the game feel actually complete. This makes the player base feel used and resentful and it's a shitty way to run a project.
That being said, many companies don't do that. They respect their customers and give the best product they can. (Shoutout to blizzard. I have a lot of respect for the Overwatch team because of how they're handling the game and any additional content they add) This is a great way to get a loyal following across multiple titles and actually leads to greater success, but is much more difficult than promising a great, complete game and then churning out something terrible and then soon releasing dlc to smooth out and refine the game for some quick cash.
I know quite a bit about game development, by the way. I'm studying to be a game developer and I've watched plenty of documentaries on the subject.
I'm not calling out anyone in particular nor saying that all games are crap. So unwad your underpants and stop overreacting to something that some guy wrote on the internet.
Jack_Ryker ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:20:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You realize that not only is it unrealistic and improbable to release games with no minor bugs, but that also any game that has had huge issues were fixed, for free, over time? Why would players feel cheated when most games that are actually broken at launch are worked on and fixed for free? Yes it sucks, but rarely if ever is nothing done about it. Not once has a company charged to fix their game after launch. Games are infinitely complex, not everything will be caught. The issues, minor and major, are worked on past launch. Refunds are always an option as well. And "adds additional content that makes the game feel complete" is an entirely subjective and biased interpretation.
This scenario is rare, and definitely the exception not the rule. That statement can also be very opinionated, as what is a "good, complete" game is entirely subjective.
Funny then that you're contributing to toxic mentalities and mindsets that gamers have, making generalizations that harm the very systems put in place to make gaming a sustainable market plagued by rising costs. Why would you post a video that harms the industry you want to get into?
Borkleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not making a generalization, but this is something that happens from time to time that a lot of people get really upset by. And there's no harm at poking fun at bad practices that many avid gamers are already aware of.
I know that this is the exception and not the rule, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it. This practice won't stop if we all say "oh well, shit happens."
On the contrary, I think talking about these practices will help the industry. Predatory practices like this go a long way in turning people away from gaming. However, making high-quality content and not overpromising what your game will offer, as well as making an effort to make the game as enjoyable as possible, helps establish a good reputation for studios that will encoirage players to keep spending money on any purchasables in the game itself, as well as create a loyalty among the fan base that keeps them coming back for new titles.
Jack_Ryker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The video is.
What bad practices? What game has been released completely broken and still hasn't even been attempted to be fixed yet? Is this the only bad practice you're thinking of? Because that's pretty unsubstantiated.
Don't act like this video was some well thought out critique of the gaming industry. It's literally rooted in short sighted ignorance and generalizing to make sweeping statements about complex systems within the industry. It's contributing nothing to the conversation, it's a tired circlejerk at best.
What practices?
What a subjective sentiment.
You keep talking in opinionated terms. Like, no shit "make a good game, make it fun, then people would like it" that doesn't need to be clarified, that's what every game company believes they're doing.
Borkleberry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:03:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a subjective field, man. Entertainment and art are pretty subjective. But when there's a general consensus that something feels incomplete or sloppy, it's usually alright to call it incomplete or sloppy.
I'd like to direct you to this article about a couple incomplete games where the real ending was in paid dlc. These practices aren't good for the consumer or the studio in the long run.
Firstly, "high-quality" is not subjective. Is a bench that falls apart when you sit on it high quality? Is a water heater that spits out cold water high quality? An incomplete game or a game with game-breaking bugs is not high quality. Similarly, a game with no extreme bugs; a coherent, thought-out story with an ending that wraps it up; and crisp mechanics; is a very high-quality game.
Secondly, don't just point out that a statement is subjective to imply that it must be incorrect and then dismiss it completely.
And you're right. The gif isn't a well thought-out and eloquent reproach of specific companies for shady practices. It was supposed to be an exaggeration of the practices of a few studios, made to poke fun at these laughable development models. It was a joke. But then you flew off the handle like I was attacking you directly when really, all that gif is saying is "hey, sometimes games feel like this. Doesn't it suck when that happens?"
Jack_Ryker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:13 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad these examples aren't actually endings being locked behind DLC, you're just choosing to perceive it as such to support your argument. Fallout 3 was a complete, finished game, that had additional content after release. This does not mean it's incomplete in any way, even if you didn't personally like the route the story took. DLC continuing the story after the fact doesn't mean it was "unfinished" or that "the true ending was behind a paywall". Are you fucking kidding me? You're seriously trying to link clickbait articles/videos to prove your point?
And again, what games have released "incomplete" or with "game breaking bugs" that wasn't fixed by devs?
So give examples of recent game releases that haven't done this.
Yeah, "laughable development models" that have sustained the industry despite rapidly growing costs? The problem here is that the GIF is making a generalized statement over the systems themselves, instead of their implementation from individuals. It's making the implication that all of these systems, micros, DLC, pre-order incentives, etc. are inherently bad, and that is not a healthy mentality to develop in the gaming industry. These systems are the reason games aren't $100+ each.
GreenGlowingMonkey ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:39:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a very dark place in my life when I first read the "Today you, tomorrow me" story. It was the first thing I saved, and I try to remember to reread it as often as I can to remind me of the path that I have changed my life to try to walk.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/
IsmoLaitela ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:59:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/xsi1uxlll22z.jpg
Toast_Party ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i feel dumb but i dont get it
IsmoLaitela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a source explaining it all: https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/6ez8ag/accidentally_destroyed_production_database_on/
mandaloredash ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:10:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember McDonald's "butt coffee" from last year? Somebody poked a hole in it.
sir_tejj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was that image actually suppose to be?
I can't unsee the butt.
Edit: ffs, are those gloves??! That drawing of fingers threw me off
mandaloredash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supposed to be a pair of mittens. Butt whoever drew them nether antassipated the internet.
Debutchery ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 11:27:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you play Overwatch
xGoo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:16:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Genji got nerfed a few months back, someone actually rapped it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0EJ3pMgQTE
JunkFriend2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You a wavy dude
Bigfourth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That fine line of an overlap between Overwatch and Kanye west Fans
Ghi102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped playing a while back, what did they do to Roadhog?
Dank_Edits ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 13:05:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video!
Lieutenant_Meeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Colorado, have most of my life. And goddammit do people not understand zipper merges here. Additionally, we have a million entitled assholes in giant SUV's who cut in line and try to merge right at the front. I fucking hate Colorado drivers when it comes to lane closures.
MrFahrenkite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seriously think we're the worst drivers. I don't fucking get it. Cruising 55 in the left lane, no turn signals, no space when there's a red so we don't block the fucking intersection, no one can use a fucking roundabout. Goddamn what the fuck Colorado get it together.
Nerdonis ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:31:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me laugh every time
askmeforbunnypics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:30:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh... that feeling is so real. That gif just resurfaced a lot of repressed memories of PS2/disk tech difficulties.
Nerdonis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah it gets me every time. Good nostalgic feels of the pure rage that came from a failed disk boot!
ThePorcupineWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn Tekken Tag Tournament.
metroid23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I regularly use my Japanese launch PS2 for music games. Its age is more and more apparent each time and waiting for the logo now is a bit of an art. There are times when it's just too long and you know you gotta reset and try again.
Poor fella. Not sure what I'm gonna do when it eventually craps out.
prettyyyprettygood ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 13:33:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whoops, sorry bro
pointofgravity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao I could imagine the guy who dropped stuff going "uh...did you just....um.....okay bye"
xxiLink ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:54:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Hillary.
kai288 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:54:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burning Man.
Semper_Fi_Cerberus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:17:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW This psychological anyalsis of a vagina tattoo
aol_cd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what they'd have to say about the woman I met in New Orleans. She asked me if I'd ever seen a fire crotch. I said no. She showed me the flames she had tattooed on her labia.
YouNiqueUser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment just got me stuck checking out /r/trashy for 45 minutes.
Thanks.
Reharmonized ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:57:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but I saw this comment by /u/The_Dr_Seussifyer when I had just come back from a very low point in my life, and it felt as if he'd written it just for me.
We've only had one exchange personally, but they seem like a wonderful person. If nothing else, I hope that they are happy wherever they might be.
The_Dr_Seussifyer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:03 on July 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A single word.
A single rhyme.
A single line,
Upon a time.
Where single verse,
And single dude,
Can change a life,
In multitude.
My life is great,
Now that I know,
I've helped to heal,
A scar that show.
A single thing.
A thing done right.
Can surely help,
Me sleep at night.
And so to you:
Sir have no fear
I always watch
I'm always here
Reharmonized ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:14 on July 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I knew you hadn't quit just yet. Glad to see you're still up and kicking :)
WhiteCatHeat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: You can save posts on Reddit.
Sgt_Dashie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dude exploring the Fukushima Red Zone. https://imgur.com/gallery/KabxJ
Rohanadsur ยท 179 points ยท Posted at 12:06:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one - NSFW! NSFW!
https://gfycat.com/EnragedMajesticHorseshoebat
I WANT THE SAUCE SO FUCKING BAD!
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 12:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rohanadsur ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:46:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't be more Thankful of the Reddit community! Ahh, FAPPING BEGINS.
Ry4n246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:08 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/Guiltyupvotes
Not even sly
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:49:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brazzers Christmas Special 2016.
Here are some torrent links. These work fine, the gif is from part 1, and part 4 also includes most of Lena Paul's stuff. Part 2 and 3 are quite meh altough there's no reason not to check them out if you want the full 'story'.
Have fun fapping.
Raphcore ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:06:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't find the video you linked, but the girl's name is Lena Paul.
Gygaxfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it say crusader Kings global offensive?
pgar08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a side note, I like your style suggestion, try Katerina Hartlova, you might like what you see
septag0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely gifs that end too soon material
UndeadPhysco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK FUCK FUCK, It sucks this wasent a thread a few weeks ago because i 100 fucking % watched the source of this clip ;/
hesapmakinesi ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:02:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I know someone who kinda looks like her.
EMCoupling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proof or it didn't happen.
hesapmakinesi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:50:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I haven't seen her naked, but reminded me of her. And no, definitely not the same person.
ValarDohairis ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 14:20:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ZdGOhUK.gifv
NSFW
dpruente ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sauce? Ya know, for science
Hypoxic125 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophie Dee
xenobuzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to see real ones.
TehBatmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I have some bad news for you then.
xenobuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they're fake, it's certainly a first class job.
Perhaps it's the video quality, but I can't see the usual, half-circle nipple scars or any scar tissue in the armpits. Perhaps they're underneath?
I know large breasts can have oblong areolas, so I didn't think that was an indicator of implants either.
Also, they don't have the pneumatic firmness where you can see the exact outline of the implant.
First class job.
TehBatmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:05 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not 100% sure about these ones. But she definitely ended up with fake ones. Though these look a bit of an odd shape to me.
xenobuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:35 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake ones usually look TOO round, and don't have the natural slope outward.
TehBatmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:50 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen some that have looked pretty damn good and turn out to be fake. I think science is catching up to nature these days.
xenobuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:45 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never really had a minimum size requirement, but I do like big nipples. It's like having two extra clitorises to play with!
I'll be happy with science when I can take a pill that would give me another inch and a little more girth. I'm perfectly happy to be average, but it would be fun to have just a little more.
Porn star cocks are generally disgusting to me. I don't understand the appeal for either sex. They're veiny and bibulous, most actresses can barely fit them in their mouth, and they never get completely hard.
Where's the fun in a blow job if she can only suck on the heard? How many women would enjoy being fucked by a half-limp kielbasa? It just doesn't seem like a good time for anyone.
Do you know of a good site for smut from the late seventies to early 80's? The stuff out there now is repulsive to me. I'd pay for a site with high-res scenes from Classic films.
Hell, I bought a Blu-Ray of "The Young Like It Hot" because it has one of my favorite scenes of all time between Hyapatia Lee and Eric Edwards.
TehBatmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:20 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really watch any old stuff. You're best bet is to go on pornhub or similar website and search for vintage. Xhamster and spankbang have a lot of stuff you may not see elsewhere too.
xenobuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:30 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been going to xhamster, but the resolution on the older stuff is usually pretty low, and watching it in a window smaller than a postcard is not ideal. :-)
I've been meaning to check out PornHub, but I don't want to pay if their selection is limited. Thanks, I'll take a look.
friendsomewhere ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:44:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/pIkdw
Good way to kill time. Definitely NSFW.
LiquidSushi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit #44.
ZBastioN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:06 on July 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 images in at leukemia greentext with the pokemons and the feels already started.
e: nevermind #4, I've come to #6 and the feels just keep coming.
What is this?
penkid ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:07:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/8s9f5
Trippy af
Count_Walrus ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 11:10:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: Probably my favorite existential dilemma on the internet.
https://www.reddit.com/r/fifthworldproblems/comments/3zshti/i_cannot_find_any_porn_of_myself_no_matter_how
JayAgeDee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:36:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me, wth is that subreddit?
pineapple_rye ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here, try this one:
https://www.reddit.com/r/seventhworldproblems/
There are more subreddits like these two. I don't know how many. Good luck.
JayAgeDee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And down the rabbit hole we go...
liberonscien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe there at least twelve like those.
SurpriseButtSexMan ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:19:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve the panda gif always makes me laugh.
Divides-By-Zer0 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 13:12:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing I ever saved on Reddit, and Probably the most unexplainable picture I've ever seen.
Nsfw
402266 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:19:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd really like to know the story behind this. Or maybe find a way to send it to my friends in the middle of the night from a different number. No explanation, just this pic and then they never get a follow up.
TeePlaysGames ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a Russian Band named Little Big
Freshenstein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are mobile apps that give you a real phone number to text from
TeePlaysGames ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shes from the Russian band Little Big. They do weird stuff like this.
gee_willickers ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread about this guy standing on a grate
(And Greg)
SplitFigure ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:07:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thread of positivity amidst all of the memes and puss
Castle_Discordia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hey! i posted in that thread with my highest rated comment ever!
SaturdayBaconThief ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:24:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's amazing tips and answers for interview questions. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3upboo/z/cxgxkgq
Or possibly this person's epic journey through seeing a smoked pork roast made on a grill, to making the roast, to final fall off the bone pictures of an incredible peice of meat. Commentary and updates included. Tried it myself, and now it is my go to party dish. https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/2jiuva/z/clc893a
HolyTacos8 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:41:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/VLZ3LWp
octopuswithguns ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:52:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This got me sex last night, thanks u/curvy_lady_92
Not OP, but my husband makes panfried pork chops with a blackberry and balsamic pan sauce. My very, very favorite food.
Edit: here ya go folks. Credit to an allrecipes user for original inspiration.
Preheat oven to 200 degrees Fahrenheit
Porkchop spices:
4- 4 oz. Boneless pork chops
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp sage
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Combine and coat chops well on both sides.
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
Melt together over med high, cook 4-5 min each side, turning once (cooking time varies based on thickness). After cooking, put chops on baking sheet into preheated oven to keep warm.
Sauce: IN SAME PAN
1/4 cup SEEDLESS blackberry jam
2 tbsp orange juice
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar
Bring to boil, cook 2-3 min, or until desired consistency. Will thicken on standing.
Notes:
Turn off pan between chops and sauce
We usually add a little more jam to taste
Wash pan immediately if not using nonstick
Recommended sides:
Roasted broccoli
Baked potato
Roasted carrots with olive oil and sage
Side salad
Spoon to get every bit of sauce into your face.
curvy_lady_92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I'm the best wingwoman! Hope it was as good as the porkchops! ;)
Declanhx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fucked if I get a vegan girlfriend
rickesh_john ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:31:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This amazing shot from r/realgirls which makes me wanna shag, every time!!!
NSFW
goofball_jones ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:51:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first, and still the best, thing I ever saved:
http://i.imgur.com/NrF0E.jpg
NSFW. Her name is Carisha btw. Here's a full album:
http://imgur.com/a/wxGDf
PeytonRoyce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does she do porn
goofball_jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard she did one awkward blowjob scene, and that's it. No, I don't have the source. This is all we'll probably get from her.
jhetao ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:19:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I just realized you can save posts I've just been conservatively liking posts so I can look at my likes
words_best_friend ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:37:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome reddit(SFW)... http://i.imgur.com/VMX15YT.webm
TomBombadilOnASegway ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/WordAvalanches/comments/3ogese/a_swindler_passes_by_a_bird_in_the_stairwell_of/
Flawlessnessx2 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:32:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
perfect
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/53y133/taking_the_perfect_photograph_in_gta_v/?st=J4FO36N1&sh=f7c201ec
Amasawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That made me giggle like a maniac
BrutalJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kimbo Slice RIP
Blujayz90 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:40:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/AchingLikableArachnid NSFW I want it on my face
PeytonRoyce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is that
Blujayz90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:03 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mia malkova
tripod280 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:11:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/ajhVpWi.gifv Pure chaos is just the tops
Daktush ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:19:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most are things I want to read later and I haven't gotten around to or my own responses with sources I can go back to and refer to
However this is nice
His instagram
dayoldhansolo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:48:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nsfw it's a link to 3000 vr porn videos
CrowdCon-troll ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:13:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+passionx+bondage+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+blondes+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
clashbuster ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 11:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit my saved list is like 1000 pages long.
I'll just link the most recent thing I really enjoyed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNV16tz1NK0
roflbbq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI your saved list has a limit, and if you go over that limit you erase the oldest entry
tedkpagonis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey, I live like a mile from Sun King and actually have a keg of it right now sitting in my kitchen.
Fly_U2_the_sunset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frikkin Waylan Jennings doppleganger on the voice.
DearestThrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the biggest fan of country, but I am a fan of that bassist. Dude knows how to lay down a line.
cjhelms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indianapolis! Send WeeMac plz
niktemadur ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:41:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From this year, it's gotta be this, one of the happiest photos I've ever seen.
Here's the thread.
milkradio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to submit an application to join this band of merry adventurers.
niktemadur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:37 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, this guy stands out to me, smiling deeply with just his eyes.
I_am_the_mack_daddy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:20:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/XTwfXBb.gif I laugh every time I see it
exackerly ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 12:35:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Armadillo gathering leaves to Billie Jean
somesortoflegend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally read your description as "a gathering of armadillos leaves [the area] to Billie Jean
_PM_ME_YOUR_NIPPLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GBH?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
_PM_ME_YOUR_NIPPLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes please. :)
candyman337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, they started the song at the wrong part, too much build up!
I_Am_Jacques ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second death star battle but with all the ewok shit cut out. 8 minutes of bitchin' space battle, baby.
Link
M0n5tr0 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:33:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3k1ij2/what_is_the_funniest_story_you_have_ever_read_on/
The steak out the window and the monkey with the baseball bat are my favorites.
Also includes what is a potato story and guy that purposely farted in a kids face at Target.
DevilGuy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:23:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/GifRecipes/comments/4szn7m/sliders_four_ways/d5deary/
one gif that gives so much deliciousness. I've done all four multiple times, some minor adjustment was done but they're great even in their most basic forms.
Moeith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this one saved too. Solid gif.
OxvFer0cdak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:28:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nsfw
guitarmaniac004 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:57:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/HBBwXAPNLr0
Geraldine the dog, sounds exactly like a Ti fighter from star wars
StargateMunky101 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW: https://i.imgur.com/NRrOQA8.gifv
Source: It links to a few YouTube videos but the trail ends there it seems. I don't know how deep the rabbit hole goes.
glahtiguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:45 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a source on that?
StargateMunky101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:42 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, check edit.
thebretandbutter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:52:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one.
GametimeJones ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:15:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the AskReddit thread Who has the worst picture on their Wikipedia page?
Possibly the hardest i've ever laughed at anything on Reddit.
mickster_island ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dioksys ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:17:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but this comment by u/horselips48 makes me crack up everytime.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6g1t4p/if_it_wasnt_frowned_upon_to_give_your_child_a/din49i1/?context=3
horselips48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm truly honored to have had that much of an impact.
T-Bills ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:00:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA with a guy born with two penises
neinherz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread. So much Reddit golden stuffs discovered.
topkatbosk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep saving now ๐
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:31:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PornSubredditName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any others?
BubbleTheGreat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy.
pornviewingthrowaway ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:12:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came her for the other NSFW stuff, but here's my favorite saved link on this account (NSFW!)
PornSubredditName ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't happen to have a name or a link, would you?
Incest4theWin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name is Sasha Rose. Unfortunately can't seem to find the video.
edit: Name of the video is Before I Fuck You Face
Cuntree_grayv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:14:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could gild you, but the best I can do is this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:58 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a ruined orgasm? Or just...stimulation, only enough to make him cum?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:40:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you need two hands to masturbate?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sack tickle wot in dod sname?
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Derrty109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot view community ๐
cant_read_this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this real life
Badassgypsy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:45:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodbye Scotland :'(
MadExplorer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:03:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Scotsman, this makes me depressed.
BAKspin_91 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:54:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/J0VqH I still get a laugh out of this.
scottyb83 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:51:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/LSjMZjN.mp4
Jabborn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was brilliant!
rune2004 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This faceswap
or
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4zr3lt/parents_of_reddit_what_was_the_best_lie_that_your/d6y5e69/?st=j4foz69t&sh=d4570a83
In response to that, /u/SpeakLikeAChild04 wrote this beautiful song that has since been deleted:
CUT MY PANTS INTO PIECES
I'LL LIE AND SAY THEY TORE
KNEE ABRASION
AND BLEEDING
THINK I MADE IT UP?
WELL I WON'T BE CONCEDING
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
FIBBING'S MY LAST RESORT
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
CUT MY PANTS INTO PIECES
I'VE CUT MY PANTS, THEY'RE TORN
KNEE ABRASION
AND BLEEDING
I DIDN'T MAKE IT UP
I WON'T BE CONCEDING
FOR THIS LITTLE TEAR, I WON'T TAKE A BEATING
WOULD IT BE WRONG WOULD IT BE RIGHT?
IF I CUT SHIRT SLEEVES TONIGHT?
CHANCES ARE THAT I MIGHT
JEAN MUTILATION OUTTA SIGHT
AND I'M CONTEMPLATING SHOE-I-CIDE
CAUSE I WON'T BE CONTRITE
I'M IN A BIND
WISH THAT MOMMY CAN'T TELL THAT I'M LYIN'
WON'T BE CONTRITE
I'M IN A BIND
WISH THAT MOMMY CAN'T TELL THAT I'M LYIN'
LYING'S ALRIGHT
LYING IS FINE
I CUT UP MY LEVI'S!
fiirofa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:46:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here are a few:
SoggyFarts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:49:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oGHLmTVyjoo
Makubx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:51:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy really hates koalas.
'Harry Potter should have carried a 1911' is a close second.
CallMeJeanz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An attempt to shake his hand
TehShew ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:20:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumshot Headshot
NSFW
Richard_D_S ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:21:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Doubtfire recut as a horror movie was fantastic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ckv_Dz-Sio
Rambo7112 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:24:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
SkyBotyt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:34:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This https://youtu.be/RrATyIJnNPM Note: nsfw ish
scottyb83 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/jODzo5J.mp4
Niora ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:07:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wheeeeee!
filthyireliamain ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:25:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWB-kuyxe3M&app=desktop
Is it candy? Or is it FURNITURE?
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:03 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would play this game!
lucstrk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:45:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What items do you think everyone, regardless of gender, should carry with them at all times?
"A watermelon. And I'll tell ya why. You're walking down the street, someone tries to rob you. "Gimme all your money!". You don't. You don't have any money. You only have a watermelon. Tell them that. They'll give you a funny look, a sigh of disappointment, then walk away. Robbers have no interest in watermelons. It's a proven fact. So you keep walking. The sounds of scuffling feet grab your attention. There's a basketball game going on. Not one second later you hear a POP! Someone killed the basketball. Everyone is sad. You casually walk into the situation, whip out your watermelon, then, with an air of cool confidence, say "hey guys it's alright, I got it covered". Watermelons make the perfect basketball replacement. It's a proven fact. You play a few games, not too aggresively, but not too amateur either. The vibe gets intense. Everyone's attention is on you and your mad watermelon skills. The women are giddy with joy, the men are blowing you kisses. With a quick nod and a warm smile, you resume your travels. You see a crackhead passed out on the sidewalk. "ARE YOU OKAY?!". No response. You spy a crack pipe nearby and place it into their mouth. You put your watermelon inside ever so softly, and light it up. The fumes release. The chemicals hit. He jolts awake. "What have I done?!". He runs off into the horizon. Later on you discover that he ran all the way to Brazil, where he cleaned up and started a successful business of breeding and selling parakeets. Watermelons have been known to help with crack addiction. It's a proven fact. You're getting tired. There's a coffee shop close by. You step in. You order a venti latte. "$4.75" she says. Bummer. You still have no money. You start to walk away. "Wait a second... Is that... Is that...A watermelon?". Her gaze is intense. Her interest is piqued. You present the truth. She goes nuts. "Omigod omigod can I hold it, CAN I HOLD IT??". You submit to her desire. She's thrilled, elated, even slightly aroused. Baristas LOVE watermelons. Proven fact. "Omg that was so awesome, btw that venti you ordered, it's on the house". Boom. You win. Outside again. Strolling briskly. You hear screams. You hear crying. You hear sirens. The mall is on fire. "MY BABY IS INSIDE MY BABY IS INSIDE!!". There's an older woman freaking out. Her baby is inside. "What's going on?" you ask a nearby policemen. "Her baby is inside" he says. He won't go save it because he's allergic to fire. "I can't save it, I'm allergic to fire" he tells you. "Where are all the firemen?" you handsomely inquire. "It's their day off". Duty calls. You run into the mall. It's on fire. You throw your watermelon at Sears. Watermelons are made of water, so the flames extinguish. You throw it at Hot Topic. You throw it at Ross. You throw it at every single store. Taco Bell is giving out free tacos, so you eat a few. Then you find a baby in the bathroom. Seems okay, so you put him in your pocket. The mall is totally dead and you get bored, so you leave. You remember that you have a baby in your pocket, and you also remember that lady saying her baby was inside. "I think this is yours?" you say as you hand the baby to her. She's pretty happy. The day is almost over. You feel a little lonely, so you talk some shit with your watermelon. It's a good friendshipโ. It listens well. All in all, a fairly good day. Nothing went wrong, all thanks to your watermelon."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:08 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something Dwight Shrute would say
kein_name ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/rd5jhzV.gifv
Failgan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:36:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif
Dabuscus214 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:39:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This from the other day, or
Tim Duncan
nu1stunna ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:09:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:47 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6 hours later...
DoubleOhS7evin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/60fpsporn+Amateur+AmateurArchives+AnalGW+AsianHotties+AsianNSFW+AsiansGoneWild+BDSMcommunity+BigBoobsGW+BiggerThanYouThought+Blowjobs+Bondage+BonerMaterial+Boobies+BorednIgnored+Bottomless_Vixens+BustyPetite+CandidFashionPolice+CelebrityPussy+ChangingRooms+ChristianGirls+CollegeAmateurs+Cuckold+CuteModeSlutMode+DarkAngels+DirtyGaming+Exxxtras+FestivalSluts+FlashingGirls+GWCouples+GWNerdy+GirlsHumpingThings+GirlswithGlasses+GirlswithNeonHair+GoneMild+GoneWildPlus+GoneWildSmiles+GoneWildTube+GroupOfNudeGirls+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+HighResNSFW+Hotchickswithtattoos+Hotwife+HugeDickTinyChick+IndianBabes+Innie+JiggleFuck+LegalTeens+LipsThatGrip+NSFW411+NSFW_GIF+NSFW_HTML5+NSFW_Japan+NSFW_Snapchat+Nsfw_Amateurs+O_Faces+Ohlympics+OnHerKnees+OnOff+OnStageGW+PetiteGoneWild+PublicFlashing+RealGirls+RepressedGoneWild+SexInFrontOfOthers+SexyButNotPorn+SexyFrex+SheLikesItRough+Stacked+StraightGirlsPlaying+StruggleFucking+TinyTits+TittyDrop+TwinGirls+Unashamed+Upskirt+VolleyballGirls+WatchItForThePlot+WomenOfColor+WouldYouFuckMyWife+WtSSTaDaMiT+YogaPants+adorableporn+altgonewild+amateurcumsluts+anal+ass+asshole+assinthong+asstastic+bdsm+bigasses+bimbofetish+bodyperfection+boltedontits+boobbounce+boobs+burstingout+buttplug+camwhores+celebnsfw+cleavage+collegesluts+curvy+datgap+deepthroat+dirtypenpals+dirtysmall+distension+downblouse+facedownassup+facesitting+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+freeuse+funsized+gettingherselfoff+gifsgonewild+ginger+girlsinyogapants+girlskissing+gonewild+gonewildaudio+gonewildcouples+gonewildcurvy+gonewildstories+grool+gwcumsluts+hentai+holdthemoan+homegrowntits+homemadexxx+hugeboobs+iWantToFuckHer+jilling+juicyasians+latinas+lesbians+lingerie+milf+nextdoorasians+nsfw+nsfw2+nsfwCelebArchive+nsfw_gifs+nsfw_videos+nsfwcosplay+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+palegirls+passionx+pawg+pokies+porn+porn_gifs+porninfifteenseconds+pornvids+pussy+quiver+randomsexiness+realasians+rearpussy+redheads+rule34+simps+snapchat_sluts+snapleaks+squirting+stockings+suctiondildos+suicidegirls+thick+tightdresses+tipofmypenis+trashyboners+treesgonewild+voluptuous+wifesharing+workgonewild+xsmallgirls/
TheBeardedRabbi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:31:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today you, tomorrow me
xspartanx117x ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:23:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread: 5/10 This thread with rice: 10/10 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/?st=J4FHGBS6&sh=2925b319
SugarplumSarah ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:39:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/australia/comments/4v9cxj/z/d5wuu5x
Regarding the Human Rights Council of the UN:
RandomPerson9367 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:47:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether you believe this or not, at least it's an interesting story.
NotYourAverageJew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was amazing. I wonder how real this was. Thanks !
Jabborn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy interesting!
KieranFilth ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:56:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This picture of Emma Watson
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
WR810 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 09:24:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing I saved to Reddit was this poem written by /u/lesser_panjandrum. Unfortunately it was buried in a comment chain and no one saw it. I share it ever time these "what do you have saved" Ask Reddit threads pop up.
I met a friend from an antique house
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of cellulite
Are shown in the bathroom. Near them, in the frame,
Half sunk, a shattered vagina lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lips, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its photographer well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on this lifeless thing,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandia, queen of queens:
Look on my vagina, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level flesh stretches far away.
Edit: I should add that the context was this girl's mother had a fully nude, non-tasteful picture of herself in the family bathroom, vagina and all.
RangeRedneck ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:34:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
yolafaml ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an adaptation of Ozymandias, a popular poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley.
rumbusiness ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:20:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's hardly adapted it at all! Literally the only words that are changed are traveller - friend land - house stone - cellulite visage - vagina sculptor - photographer Ozymandia(s) king - queen sand - flesh
It doesn't do anything clever or make sense or satirise the original in any way or take it in a new direction. I love poetry and I love writing about women's bodies, but I don't understand why this is supposed to be clever or meaningful :(
lesser_panjandrum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:02:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it helps, I think it was originally a reply to a story about the hubris of someone having a framed photo of their vagina in their bathroom.
In any case, I don't think it was ever meant to be particularly deep or meaningful. Sometimes you just want to introduce more vaginas to Percy Shelley, and really who could be blamed for that?
rumbusiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK, with context it makes a bit more sense. What an odd thing to do.
I'm not sure Shelley needs more vaginas, however you look at it...
lesser_panjandrum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:51:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, thanks! Glad you enjoyed my desecration of a timeless classic.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:55:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one by far
Lockski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KaptainKristian is my favorite youtube channel by far.
bishop_of_banff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:33:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer gets a donation and he has to play the video clip sent with it
tomh1982 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:08:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is definitely my favourite
FusRoeDah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wat the hell did I just watch
tomh1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a lesson in joint smoking :)
KA1N3R ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:20:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:27:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KaVenGalel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he roughly the size of a barge?
Thrannn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:46:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3secjr/what_are_some_useful_features_of_everyday_items/cwwn53z/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
and more porn
https://www.reddit.com/r/web_design/comments/6eoa78/i_made_a_simple_website_filled_with_random_nsfw/
UnderlordZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:58:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably gonna end up buried here at this point, but I'm going with my newest acquisition.
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buried, but loved!
ARADPLAUG ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:01:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking LOVE monkeys
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:44 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is one FAT monkey!
Throw_Datsun ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:05:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just won a 656 Million Dollar Lottery. What do you do now?
marfoldi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:18:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future Astronaut
Unrequited_Anal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:26:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/29qfnm/What_common_misconceptions_really_irk_you%3F/cinik24/
My favourite poem from u/Poem_for_your_sprog
big_ern_mccracken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:31:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/nfxpwbWBNuU
How to make a 3 cheese blend.
lolaiden1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From when this was posted last and it got huge. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3n45xi/whats_your_favorite_thing_you_have_in_your_saved
11037leonkuwata11037 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:42:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even have to think about this one, I already had the answer.
A quality runner up is this one though.
SK8_JAX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:54:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my Saved section, but I need help finding a classic.
It was a topless girl in front of a webcam. She started off taking her shirt and was smiling while twisting her shoulders gently side to side. Then it slowly escalated to where she went into a violent fit as if she were possessed!
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:55 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/tipofmypenis ?
antipatheia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has to be Kevin, the dumbest person I never got to meet.
VirtualSting ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This baby right here:
เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ เฒ _เฒ
Metalbass5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god saved. This...This is helpful.
stalcode ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it was hard to decide but definitely this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/44i59r/wp_a_92yearold_womans_phone_number_is_one_digit/czqf7lj/
CrackedOzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn. That's really good.
ConditionOfMan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:22:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
- u/ryans01
https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af/
No more zero days for me, and it's really elevated me.
ryans01 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:10:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love! Thanks for the shoutout!
ConditionOfMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love back! Someone linked to that comment like 4 months ago. I read it and it has seriously changed my life. I was going through one of many serious bouts of suicidal ideation. Your write-up gave me a vision of a different self. I had always struggled with ceaseless thoughts of how burdensome, useless, pathetic and undeserving of love I was. I never turned those nasty thoughts on others, it was always self-targeting. Well, thinking about the poor, neglected past-me gave me empathy for myself. The thoughts of future-me being another person engaged my eager willingness to help a friend. And now, for the first time in decades, I feel HOPE. I feel growth. I feel strength. I feel joy. I feel love. Thank you u/ryans01
scotty3281 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have mentioned your name as well. I was dumb and posted it as a direct link. A lot of people have found it helpful. It's very simple advice but very motivating. I found the post a year or so ago and saved it. I'm just like the guy the advice was given to. I have low self-esteem and find myself no caring about myself. This post reminds me to help myself. It may be a little difficult to explain but I just know I relate to the guy a lot and your post helps me a lot. So, thank you for these words and hopefully you are still giving this amazing advice when you can.
ryans01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:53:14 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, much love!
seipounds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:13 on September 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Top guy, got you tagged ;)
nicholasc614 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:37:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://vid.me/akIE Nswf
AfroClam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both of these https://oddshot.tv/s/GEPMcz and http://imgur.com/mbGbMsR
HermitPrime ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:13:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
musabaracka ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:23:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obu http://i.imgur.com/KxqbWZs.gifv
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:01:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:02:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:03:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
mrwhytfnot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:10:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now, most definitely, in my saved section.
exwhy_zed ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:49:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ldh0hPT.gif
funtex666 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Deleted because Reddit sucks monkey balls]
Dragonbahn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:53:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/wu5ru
And old guy playing the theme for tGtBtU
Ry4n246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beautiful
Visit_MNPH_Subreddit ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 08:48:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will share but first u have to tag this question as a NSFW
adviceKiwi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:50:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
waiting
Visit_MNPH_Subreddit ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 10:12:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn, am sorry I forget hahaha.
Edit: Ok wait
Edit 1: Just fucking wait
Edit2: This
adviceKiwi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:58:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooo. Ouch. It was worth the wait
Miiilooo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:07:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ ฑls don't hit me dad
mikedubb02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised he held it together well enough to throw a Dab at the end. Nice!
SarahWasAlone ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:42:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/comments/5nr7tk/meirl/
It's pretty dumb and shitposty but I love it so much, it's my profile picture/avatar everywhere I can put it
GodfatherCarlos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4ao0br/what_is_not_a_fun_fact/d129qm6/
Smooth af
Technicalchawal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stop laughing.
Bullshit-_-Man ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:23:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/V9tFo7O.gifv
FUCK YOU BIRD
stormtiger88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is your #1 funniest youtube video?
I'm dealing with depression. Laughing isn't a cure, but it certainly helps.
milkradio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm rooting for you!
stormtiger88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
appelsapper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:01:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl-F "Streetlamp Le Moose"...nothing? Blasphemy!!!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe/
Antibane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know exactly what I just read, but I'm sitting here crying in the coffee lounge of a cruise ship, and I'm real okay with it.
deepinthesea ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 10:47:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman who light was snuffed out far too early.
I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.
Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.
Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like sheโs gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. Youโre both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.
You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.
One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea. But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all youโre keeping here with you.
What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye.
Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. Sheโs louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. Youโve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. Youโve got morning wood. Itโs not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now youโe in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like sheโs gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesnโt bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if sheโs starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly itโs excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too.
Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. Sheโs having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that sheโs gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that sheโs gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, sheโs experiencing an orgasm. You canโt help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.
You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize heโs about to cry. After all thatโs happened, you donโt to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anneโs semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You canโt resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anneโs opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, sheโs somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. Youโre afraid heโll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anneโs fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but itโs for the best. She hasnโt been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. Youโre safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the nightโs events to your parents and hope they donโt kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.
Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest Iโve ever gotten. Oh, I think Iโm gonnaโฆ Iโm gonna-
Cums in Diary
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 11:22:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedjeffmangum
Teddysleeper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:46:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The king of the carrot flowers, is that you.
No it's the two headed boy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semen stains the mountain tops
Miiilooo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:13:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh ok i didn't know
Wasabi-beans ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:05:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll fap to this not because I can, but because I want to
Daenkneryes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because you must
Wasabi-beans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I MUST
Malkiot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:38:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a copy pasta?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Created by 4chan's /mu/.
bonejohnson8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an ex who looked like Anne Frank.
easierthistime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't expecting neutral milk hotel in this thread
begintobeginagain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:19:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/1CvNGVn
Mugi1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:23:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/58hae4/what_is_a_piece_of_reddit_history_every_redditor/d90f5f8/?st=j4fggjlr&sh=9851f1ae
iammandalore ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:02:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This description of what ADHD is like.
DontJealousMe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:08:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the amazing porn gifs.
rumaze ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:44:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this video gets me every time
Hammerfall_Thud ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:45:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best Friends!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:57:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man records heartbreaking video of the first time his own mother forgets who he is.
https://youtu.be/nt8C-P8Fc4g
52576078 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:43:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that's brutal. I can start to see my own mom forgetting stuff more and more frequently. It's terrifying.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:02:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird shit like these
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/cZnbl.jpg
Billd0910 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:20:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This pissed off shiba
https://i.imgur.com/cUKbon8.gifv (NSFW Language)
Bahamabanana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nelly is my favorite
dcruise33 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:29:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This cracks me up; http://i.imgur.com/IBpK0rq.mp4
emax4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:31:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Finals for the "Dont Laugh" championship, specifically the video of the woman struck by lightning
SubMikeD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An alligator on campus. Literally the reason why I have a Reddit account at all.
SuspiciousBulgarian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/5XIxEGd.gifv
Cracks me up every time
DankMemeProfessor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This simple comment
RedPanda5150 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:56:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/3qvj6w/theory_jar_jar_binks_was_a_trained_force_user/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
Nehalpatel30 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:03:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gym Technique
http://i.imgur.com/E7bFs8W.gifv
Kirton178 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:08:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/66j4h9/mascot_protects_kid_from_foul_ball/?st=J4FNCXCX&sh=73f8cdb7
The mascots reaction cracks me up.
gaveedraseven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That mascot is good at their job
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:18:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure there is a better short verse to speak to the issue of death of a loved one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/?st=j4fnps25&sh=dfcce051
GlobalVV ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The music that comes in really makes this video for me.
Parasomniaaa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:30:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/GSnow once wrote something that I have read during hard times.
He said:
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Hope that helps. Im sorry for your loss.
crustysenor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:04:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After all the parents drop their kids off at my daycare center https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyreactiongifs/comments/sgye5/after_all_the_parents_drop_their_kids_off_at_my/
jsleathe12295 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video still makes me laugh! If you're feeling down or not, just remember your life is still unwritten
MaxfromVine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This incredible rant
undeadbill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:16:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cut me off a nanosecond.
https://www.reddit.com/r/EngineeringPorn/comments/4tmqp5/cut_me_off_a_nanosecond/
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:20:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Headphones Test
voiderror404 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:20:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a bunch but this takes the fucking cake
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:48:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4kq13k/3_guys_are_hiking_through_the_woods_when_they/
varishtg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:55:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post on how you can be an isp.
Ardub23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:09:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not serious โ I made some professional renditions of some tr4sh characters plz upmelee or adblock will starve me by /u/Rly_nintendo7 in /r/smashcirclejerk
Serious โ untitled poem by /u/poem_for_your_sprog in /r/AskReddit
bfern00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly the longest joke I've ever read. By the time you're half way through it you forget it's supposed to be a joke. Take some time to read the whole thing it's so worth it.
http://natethesnake.com/
Shanshan16 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:21:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something touched my foot!
XxAnimeBoyxX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:21:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This: NSFW http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
whangadude ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:38:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest and put this one, clearly NSFW
https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
Crikey-Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's a long ass link
CrotchMcAwesome ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can save posts on Reddit.
SoulessV ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/TemptingSingleDormouse
mononooke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:00:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/DqM3yCk.gifv
BrutalFuckingTruth ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:24:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/EAmt2fV.gifv
Simple.
Thoughtful.
Heartbreaking.
_dk22 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:30:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A post of this video.
Jabborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my all-time favorites.
allyoop92 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:36:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/WBc20wg.gifv
chinesemullet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:42:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/bVjlC70.gifv
scotems ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walaaa? The creator of this should be ashamed.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:40:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many comments. Hopefully someone sees this and chuckles.
https://i.imgur.com/ypwQbk1.jpg
DubiousVirtue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:39 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did.
Ketchupbeer ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 12:08:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like this
Ry4n246 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:50:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5 confused clicks later i came to the conclusion that i dislike you
Forrobin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh
clicktoaddtitle ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW Kate Upton eye contact challenge ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
thatsconelover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... Was that guy on drugs?
easierthistime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When does she blink?!
elpepe5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:11 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
has anyone succedded?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:56:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Darkitz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:04:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.redditp.com/r/60fpsporn+Amateur+AmateurArchives+AnalGW+AsianHotties+AsianNSFW+AsiansGoneWild+BDSMcommunity+BigBoobsGW+BiggerThanYouThought+Blowjobs+Bondage+BonerMaterial+Boobies+BorednIgnored+Bottomless_Vixens+BustyPetite+CandidFashionPolice+CelebrityPussy+ChangingRooms+ChristianGirls+CollegeAmateurs+Cuckold+CuteModeSlutMode+DarkAngels+DirtyGaming+Exxxtras+FestivalSluts+FlashingGirls+GWCouples+GWNerdy+GirlsHumpingThings+GirlswithGlasses+GirlswithNeonHair+GoneMild+GoneWildPlus+GoneWildSmiles+GoneWildTube+GroupOfNudeGirls+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+HighResNSFW+Hotchickswithtattoos+Hotwife+HugeDickTinyChick+IndianBabes+Innie+JiggleFuck+LegalTeens+LipsThatGrip+NSFW411+NSFW_GIF+NSFW_HTML5+NSFW_Japan+NSFW_Snapchat+Nsfw_Amateurs+O_Faces+Ohlympics+OnHerKnees+OnOff+OnStageGW+PetiteGoneWild+PublicFlashing+RealGirls+RepressedGoneWild+SexInFrontOfOthers+SexyButNotPorn+SexyFrex+SheLikesItRough+Stacked+StraightGirlsPlaying+StruggleFucking+TinyTits+TittyDrop+TwinGirls+Unashamed+Upskirt+VolleyballGirls+WatchItForThePlot+WomenOfColor+WouldYouFuckMyWife+WtSSTaDaMiT+YogaPants+adorableporn+altgonewild+amateurcumsluts+anal+ass+asshole+assinthong+asstastic+bdsm+bigasses+bimbofetish+bodyperfection+boltedontits+boobbounce+boobs+burstingout+buttplug+camwhores+celebnsfw+cleavage+collegesluts+curvy+datgap+deepthroat+dirtypenpals+dirtysmall+distension+downblouse+facedownassup+facesitting+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+freeuse+funsized+gettingherselfoff+gifsgonewild+ginger+girlsinyogapants+girlskissing+gonewild+gonewildaudio+gonewildcouples+gonewildcurvy+gonewildstories+grool+gwcumsluts+hentai+holdthemoan+homegrowntits+homemadexxx+hugeboobs+iWantToFuckHer+jilling+juicyasians+latinas+lesbians+lingerie+milf+nextdoorasians+nsfw+nsfw2+nsfwCelebArchive+nsfw_gifs+nsfw_videos+nsfwcosplay+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+palegirls+passionx+pawg+pokies+porn+porn_gifs+porninfifteenseconds+pornvids+pussy+quiver+randomsexiness+realasians+rearpussy+redheads+rule34+simps+snapchat_sluts+snapleaks+squirting+stockings+suctiondildos+suicidegirls+thick+tightdresses+tipofmypenis+trashyboners+treesgonewild+voluptuous+wifesharing+workgonewild+xsmallgirls/
redditp to make that a sweet (onehand-friendly) slideshow
bwipbwip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, an NSFW front page
ILIEKDEERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, that's actually wouldn't be a bad idea.
naryn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:19:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1dvyve/ron_draco/c9ue622/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
I just find it funny but I really don't save very much, most of it is random shit I accidentally hit save on whilst browsing
Keinichn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. I would buy a poster of it if the artist would sell them.
davg91 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:33:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif: http://i.imgur.com/KpPCm0o.gif
irinabv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:33:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't decide to one. This https://i.imgur.com/yUACnqw.gif and this http://imgur.com/B0D4iRk
milkradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second one! Look at the bellyyyyy! Poor little pantsless house-lion.
MN_Wild4hockey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:26:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW This girl showing off her "skills"
brawdogger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:33:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My life was incomplete before I found this.
hcarguy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very NSFW
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3secjr/what_are_some_useful_features_of_everyday_items/cwwn53z/
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:15:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
aviciiavbdeadpunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
uh ok
schwartzsayan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite the exhaustive list
hairyhank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you spam this anymore dude?
lars10000100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure: http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
I_AM_SUFFERING ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:22:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite saved comment
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Writings prompt response. Damn thing had me cutting onions in public. https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/6bo9cl/comment/dhob9xs?st=J4FGRU36&sh=e3cda79f
Hjulbeno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:33:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif from a comment on a post about your favorite thing in your saved section from 2 years ago
unlimitedanna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:46:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile in Glasgow... pretty much sums up my life dreams.
Dougalinho10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/FwbRKxL.gifv
GRat9717 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
EnglishGentlemen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ballgirl removes bug from tennis court https://i.imgur.com/14I5d35.gifv
and
Eminem MIGHT have been high during his interview on ESPN http://i.imgur.com/pFeqPHd.gif
Chasen101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miniature people
http://imgur.com/a/OOdPs
Lucidmike78 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/9lhv
posherspantspants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/VIluyCo
pickleman42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The end of this gets me every time
https://streamable.com/n52im
CoKaner88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/f4HjAgD
DanceWithTheDevil_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily this right here.
aFluffyKogMaw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/jPZbQ Still can't read this without laughing.
troyareyes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/1t9Q4tk.gifv
Sideways103 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always cracks me up!
smzt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual cannibal
Xok234 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:35:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5tp827/my_sister_and_her_boyfriend_are_heading_up_to_our/ddo9moj/?st=j4fm75t7&sh=d3768901
djuggler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is now the favorite thing in my saved section.
Rhymeswithfreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[โ]DeadUsernamee 1684 points 8 months ago*x5
Here you go: https://vid.me/vpD5
PinWormCircus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the ... what the ... that's badass and I've never seen it.
Un upvote para usted tits dulce!
Rhymeswithfreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think i watch this at least twice a month.
ultgambit266 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:59:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will be back later to see this when I'm not at work
Acierblade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disappointing lack of fun nsfw content
SpicyThunder335 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:02:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dippadont.gif
Lawrence308 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/gallery/6syh7R3
colombo21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6isl6x/What_is_socially_accepted_when_you_are_beautiful_but_not_accepted_when_you_are_ugly%3F/dj8tnul/
colombo21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The link isn't directing towards the saved comment and I'm on mobile but it was made by vargas : Wal-Mart shopper (and ugly woman), here.
The reason I wear revealing clothes when I go to Wallyworld is because such attire is easy to remove in a hurry. Why would such a thing be necessary? Well, you just never know when struggle for the last oversized container of Great Value cheese balls will turn physical. When it does, I want to be nude because of the edge it will give me in a fight. You see, I'm 5/7 Armenian, so I'm naturally very oily. As my Nana would always say, "ีึ ีพีซีทีฟีถ ีงึ ีฑีฅีฆ ีดีกีทีฅีฌ, ีฟีกีถีปีฅีฌ" lol.
Anyway, my ethnic gift makes it difficult for an opponent to get a firm hold on me. I'm like a wet trout buttered in margerine, except I'm not nearly as delicious (though if my ex-husband is to be believed, I do taste of the river). Even if they do manage to grab a teet or hook my cameltoe, I can still wriggle around and rotate in my own skin to counterattack. Sort of like a honey badger. It goes without saying I'm naked as jaybird on Black Friday, too, but that's usually because I'm strung out on veterinary grade laxatives and fireball whiskey during most major holidays, as is tradition. Full disclosure, I usually black out, which is why I have seventeen flat screens.
Speaking of honey badgers, I also go for the groin first chance I get. That's not limited to bareknuckle brawls at Walmart, either. If I meet a nice man, you best believe I don't do none of that "third date" bullshit. Soon as I spot an opening, I'm face-planting into that crotch. Like I said, I'm ugly as shit (my Nana said I have a face only a mother could love, which doesn't make sense because I seem to recall mother hating me, particularly my face) so I got to use the skills at my disposal. Having a mouth like a Swedish breast pump is one of them. Juggling is another. The ability to tie an anchor hitch while blindfolded is one more. Knowing how to combine all three? Priceless.
Well, maybe not entirely priceless. Not so long ago, I was working my way through nursing school and needed money, so I actually did put a price on it. Fifteen dollars was my going rate. don't charge any more, though . You could say I do it pro boner now lmao. Man, I love penis.
lookatthatsquirrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW This part does it for me.
thesquidpartol97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:21:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gem http://imgur.com/a/FJsff
Shitjustgotshitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q89pr/what_is_the_darkest_most_disgusting_secret_in/c3vlflk/
tumescentthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW - sexy and TERRIFYING glitch https://i.imgur.com/jNokYF0.gif
Cowfresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like the second last thing you want to happen while getting head.
tumescentthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty much over it by that point
-Lachesis- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably NSFW
Bigz11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Today you...tomorrow me." https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/
get2dachoppaaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/OxyZQj4.gifv
Makes me smile every time
MandatorySuicide ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:43:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/rd5jhzV
https://i.imgur.com/UujogxZ.mp4
I just can't get enough of it.
AbnormallyWeird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/nWk8V.jpg Wanted poster
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That dancing gorilla from a few days ago.
Edit: Link for the rude person below.
informationmissing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:12:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link it you lazy fuck!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no need for name calling.
informationmissing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
travistravis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:19:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Comment (it has a NSFW on it, there's a video attached to that comment)
HuaMushu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late but u/potatoisafruit Wrote this beautiful poem for a Redditor who lost his wife who now keeps an iron duck on his office desk.
"The properties of iron Are beautiful and strange A metal, cold and hard and black Turned rusty in the rain
A trans-substantiation Of element and tears And who's to say our heart's decay Won't change in coming years?
For in the darkest places Are kindled roots and leaf If iron can transform again Perhaps so too can grief"
potatoisafruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw...very sweet, thank you. I've been wondering if that guy got married (he said he was re-marrying this June). Hope he is doing well.
LeeHarveyT-Bag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to have a frank discussion about Nelly's 2005 banger, Grillz. The song focuses on oral jewelry, the eponymous "Grillz," as a display of wealth, power, and mid-2000's fashion. A "grill" describing a diamond- and gold-encrusted mouthpiece.
In the song, rapper Ali, a member of Nelly's St. Lunatics, raps "I've got a bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham." This particular line has kept me up nights for the past decade.
The initial conceit is obvious enough: a "bill" is a reference to money, and Ali wants the listener to know that the grill in his mouth costs a lot of money. Since the largest bill in circulation is $100, it's unclear to me whether Ali's grill only cost $100 or if he wants his audience to take a further leap and assume that "a bill" references several bills. I can't imagine $100 buys very many mouth diamonds.
The second half of the line proves particularly troubling. He invokes "Hillary Rodham," who, as of 2005, was a
state senator for New YorkU.S. Senator for New York. It's possible that our civic-minded emcee wanted to invoke the imagery of Mrs. Rodham on the floor of theNYU.S. Senate, arguing for bills left and right. While she sponsored a couple hundred bills during her tenure, only one Hillary-sponsored bill was signed into law as of Grillz' release (according to govtrack.us). So, while it matches the "a bill" language, the line doesn't particularly invoke the large number of "bills" required to purchase a premium mouthpiece.A wrinkle in this line is that Hillary's husband is William "Bill" Clinton. Thus, the line "bill in [his] mouth like [he's] Hillary Rodham" could easily be interpreted to relate to oral sex. This comparison is especially apt when you consider that Bill is infamous for receiving oral sex from a White House intern during his tenure as President. And perhaps this incident is even more infamous because the oral sex received came not from Hillary, but from a third party. In fact -- even 10 years after the incident -- any references to Bill Clinton, a mouth, and women inevitably lead listeners to his presidential scandal.
So, is Ali letting the rap community know that he enjoys giving oral sex? Or does his metaphor fall apart because, at least in this context, Hillary had no "Bills" in her mouth? Given the rampant homophobia of the mid-2000's rap community, I'm inclined to believe that Ali didn't mean to invoke any reference that might include him giving oral sex to a man. But then, why even go near the Bill/Hillary situation?
I've considered a third option regarding this half of the line, that Ali's invocation of Hillary Rodham and "bills" is a reference to her much-maligned Wall Street speeches. Hillary has received criticism for making private speeches to Wall Street in exchange for large speaking fees. The imagery of money for speeches lends itself well to having "bills in [your] mouth like . . . Hillary Rodham." When Hillary talks (you know, with her mouth), the bills flow freely. In fact, I'd argue that this interpretation provides the strongest metaphor for sporting an expensive grill.
But it's impossible for Ali to know this, as Hillary's speaking tour didn't really start in earnest until she left the State Department, roughly 8 years after Grillz dropped.
So, I'm left to draw one of three conclusions:
1) Ali's use of metaphor on the 2005 track Grillz was poor, at best, and he had no business rapping alongside Nelly, Paul Wall, and Jermaine Dupri.
2) Ali is a time-traveller, and uses his gift for low-key political commentary that's way ahead of its time.
3) I have entirely too much time on my hands.
EDIT: I have updated the post to properly reflect Clinton's position in the U.S. Senate. An earlier version of this analysis named her as a state senator. My apologies to HRC, consider the record corrected.
Further, in response to the idea that "bill" refers to "a billion dollars." Come on. There's no way these guys were contemplating spending a billion dollars on grills. That's preposterous.
From /u/BashyLaw - source
ilovedrinking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pictures of a girl from r/bimbofetish that I've slept with.
Conchitis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
jim_the_joke_man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:03:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://pastebin.com/jVe4fXsR
Every NSFW subreddit with # of subscribers at time of posting
CeilingTowel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were many buried in my old account, until i had to delete it. This is the only post I felt so amazed by that I had saved its link in my notepad externally.
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/6bo9cl/you_are_death_on_the_last_day_of_the_universe_all/dhob9xs
You are Death. On the last day of the Universe, all the lights are gone, and you have one more soul to usher into your realm, before the doors close forever... It's none other than your oldest opponent, "Life". [WP]
She looked out over the abyss and saw it was beautiful. There was no more stars, no more planets or galaxies spinning in the sky. The gods in the sky and even time itself had fallen to their knees for her. She was the ultimate keeper, after all, obsessed with what the end would bring her. In her state, she was almost giddy with excitement, with the thought of what she was about to do. She felt like a child on Christmas or a teenager finally asking their date to the homecoming dance. If she had been human, she would have been dancing with joy at the end of all things. She could see the little blip of light just out of her reach on the horizon. That's where she would find him, waiting for her like an old lover.
He sat with his toes in the stream, his little oasis all but empty, the babbling brook the only sound in the universe. He knew that soon she would come and they would finally be together forever. He had waited for this day for as long as he could remember, knowing that she would save him till the very end. It was poetic, in a way. Terribly sappy and clichรฉd, but at least at last they could finally embrace, even if she had to devour the forces of the universe to get to him.
Cupping his hands together, he breathed gently into them, a small field mouse now sitting in his ebony colored palm. He smiled at the tiny mouse, knowing that this was the last life that he would ever create. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he turned his eyes towards the other side of the creek, his heart practically jumping out of his chest when he saw her in her beautiful black dress, billowing in the breeze of the cosmos. She was just as beautiful as the day that he had set eyes on her. How cruel they had to stay apart for so long, only to meet at the edge of the universe.
"Hello, Dahlia." His voice rumbled like an avalanche spilling over the mountains, "Long time."
She nodded slightly, her bright blue eyes staring at him as her pale hair brushed past her pink lips, "It's good to see you again, Lazarus."
He stood and put the field mouse down into the grass. The little creature took one look at Dahlia and jumped into the water. Not knowing how to swim, its poor little body was instantly washed away by the current. A few moments went by and suddenly, a tiny nose poked out from beneath her dress. She stooped down to pick it up and it licked her nose, making her smile. "I missed you." She admitted, the mouse disappearing into a puff of smoke, "It's been..."
"12 trillion years, give or take a billion," He said with a laugh, "But I guess everything must end. Even me, my dear."
She smiled sadly, and nodded, "As much as I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it was the only way I could get to you. I couldn't wait any longer."
"Did you like the gifts I sent to you?" He asked, wringing his hands nervously.
"Of course! I think the elephants were my favorites," She admitted, brushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear, "So majestic and strong. Where did you come up with those?"
"I wanted something big to impress you," He responded, taking a step into the water that had now slowed to a trickle, "Did it?"
"Of course! Everything you made impressed me." She said, reaching her hand out to him. He took it and felt as if he was touching an electric socket. His body instantly convulsed and his heart ceased to be. The world was fading as Dahlia pulled him in and for the first time in eternity, finally found the other's embrace. "I love you, Lazarus. Thank you for waiting."
"I would have waited forever, my Dahlia." He gasped as their lips connected. The light on the horizon faded and like the beginning, everything went to black.
ThrowawayPervmaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/QDnuYpR
NSFW
Dirty_Kitten ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who kept on scrolling down just looking for dem NSFW comments? :p
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A post of a girl on /r/loseit who went from my starting weight to my goal weight. We have the same hair color and body shape. When I need a boost to my motivation and willpower, I look back at her post to see what I will most likely look like at goal.
FullplateHero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can do it!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, /u/fullplatehero. And thank you, /u/Jennisfit for inspiring me
JennIsFit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hello! I'm glad I could be an inspiration to you. Ive kept off my weight for over 4 years now. ;) Keep on working towards your goal, once you get there it's so easy to maintain. Good luck!
awb_67 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this
Edit because I can't forget my favorite story:
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
source
Can confirm, first seven years of life were devoted to cider and Johnny Appleseed like a cult. I like cider and all but the Johnny Appleseed worship they used to inject into all Fort Wayne children is bizarre.
In preschool you start decorating construction paper apples. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You eat heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, they take you to visit his cabin. Or a reconstruction. I don't know. You are all in bare feet for some reason.
In Kindergarten you learn songs about Johnny Appleseed that I'm just now realizing were lesser-known carols about Santa but with the lyrics changed to be about Johnny Appleseed. Most of them don't even mention apples directly. They're mostly about walking barefoot and planting trees. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You have heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, you go to his cabin. Barefoot.
In first grade you cut out and decorate construction paper overalls. In October, you visit the cider mill. You sort apples. You have heated apple mash. You are not allowed to have any cider. In March, my teacher learns that my grandmother, who is a paranoid schizophrenic, lives in an apartment very close to one of Appleseed's reputed death spots. I refuse to reveal any information beyond name, rank, and serial number, because Johnny Appleseed is weird enough without dragging a woman into it who lately believes that Holly Hobby is her guardian angel. So instead we visit the cabin. Barefoot. I start to notice that apples themselves are rarely mentioned except in relation to cider.
No, it's all cider - which we can't drink, even though I drink cider at home - and nobody is really eating any of the apples, either. It's about being barefoot, wearing overalls, and walking around planting trees. The same lessons. Every year. The weird songs. Why can't we wear shoes. Why don't they ever say his real name. Why are there fifteen different grave sites and cabins. Why are we eating gross bitter apple mash instead of planting trees somewhere. Why do I never hear anything about Johnny Appleseed at home, even though my mom, my aunt, and my uncle went to the same school and had the same teachers? I'd ask questions about skipping any of the monthly Johnny Appleseed days at school, like Johnny Appleseed-themed Book Fair, and they'd change the subject and roll their eyes.
Then we moved to Colorado and there was no more talk of Johnny Appleseed. The lack of Appleseed was a little jarring at first, but I sure didn't miss it.
Edit: Have realized that this exactly coincides with the 125th anniversary of his death. I hope this explains the intensity with which the city's Johnny Appleseed czars (they exist) indoctrinated us. I really do hope.
Second Edit: /u/yaforgot-my-password has reminded me that we also wore saucepans on our heads. Entire classes of young children, barefoot, wearing overalls and saucepans, arranged onto rows, singing "Here comes Appleseed, Here comes Appleseed, planting all his trees!"
yaforgot-my-password ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is all real
vicaphit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
18 ways to tie a necktie.
I've used the trinity knot, and always get compliments on it.
wang_chum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
This has been my golden find. I didn't know there was a Saoirse Ronan doppelgรคnger.
fatclownbaby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSWF Kaley Cuoco good fake
FuckingGlorious ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not safe wor fork
Mirayle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This explanation of how internet works.
Joosh71 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:52:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That time that guy pretended he didn't know what a potato was at dinner with his girlfriend's parents
potato guy
AnonyMorshu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the art people have made of my character. Makes me feel like I matter in the community/Warms my heart.
Zossua ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:24:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This keyboard synth instrument thingy http://sampulator.com/
bitesized314 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excluding the mountain of gay porn I have saved, this.
http://i.imgur.com/K3F0fit.gif
Also, I just realized I just posted about the Obama Biden bromance after I said something about gay porn. I swear, this isn't gay porn.
thatdude473 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you fucking deaf?" From r/idontworkherelady
Greatest thing to read while hanging out with the guys
skagboys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reaction gif of a dog meeting his owner after he returns from the army
Finito-1994 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:02:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am the snorlax, I speak for the strippers!
Rockbert1994 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/96apNsd.gifv
this, the suspense is amazing
man_goat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure what to call it but here it is https://imgur.com/gallery/JfDXi
fwambo42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was awesome.
RiseAboveRuin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the porn.
All of it.
Ummon_Luvs_You ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will pee damage tires?
flimspringfield ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humanity
Skirtsmoother ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/usib9/well_slap_my_ass_and_call_me_susan_what_are_your/c4y8pwl/
MysticalFury ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/KSEPTQd.gifv
Kawaii_Desu-Chan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment that showcases the process that led to a guy fucking his giant gummy teddybear. It was simply beautiful. (NSFW)
tcopple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This (video)[https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/5vw5tb/i_throw_festivals_and_offered_this_girl_free/], so someday I can scare my kids into not doing drugs.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An Ask Reddit thread where someone asked if anyone could photoshop Scarlett Johansson making out with herself. The inspiration for the post is hilarious and also the photoshops.
thegiubi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Grandpa, can you tell me a story?" https://i.imgur.com/OBHvvnr.gifv
Buey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful
AddictedtoMyself ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still trying to figure out who this is. She's amazing https://i.imgur.com/gtwG929.jpg
Scotty_NZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/fuck-you-flowers.jpg
juKnowItAll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.pointerpointer.com
For shits and giggles.
crimson117 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bear is alive! ๐ป
ThickThrobbingMeat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The frog that says yeah boi always puts a smile on my face
https://youtu.be/TCCJOTY7uRI
Moohcow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my most recent one. The most epic and disgusting medical tale I've ever read. Obv. NSFW Possibly NSFL if you don't like, well, you'll see.
Tl;dr: Be nice to your doctors, they've seen stuff man.
The_Toe_Cutter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the swamps of dagobah......classic.
WizardOfTheLawl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish this were a real game
TheKMethod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a tie between
"Protip: "Shape of You" is better if you imagine he's talking to a piece of pizza"
-unknown user
This:
"Mate it is midday in Europe everyone at work is sitting on the toilet taking shots over the atlantic"
-unknown user
And this:
'Set to it, get through it, and do it!' he cried: 'Remember the lessons I taught you in pride! Of course you'll enjoy it! Of course you'll have fun! ... But make it a win, or you're dead to me, son.'
-/u/Poem_for_your_sprog on participation trophies
charliefromscratch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby McFerrin gets the entire audience to sing the pentatonic scale without words
bromanceisdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome!
KoogLarousse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of Streetlamp le moose
Howler452 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:21:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of posts from /u/inthenameofkittens. She is easily the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.
visual_tunes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im nearly half a year on Reddit and this post is my first 'saved' and favorite one. What great stories to read. It made me laugh and some even made me shed a tear. Reddit is beautiful!
anonwasaraver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:06:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
NSFW... obviously.
toffee_melter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:17:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OQtrmhpIXU
A lovely musical number
Pickselated ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:24:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Press any button
soldsoulrockroll ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:35:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100 days free from politics https://i.redd.it/9qfttwooi0yy.jpg
MrSeabody ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:54:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean Streetlamp LeMoose is obviously #1, but I think this gem by /u/CrustyButtFlake is a close second.
Hamlock1998 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:21:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. (NSFW) It's just amazing.
hamster_13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:46:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/YcDR72q?r (NSFW, short butt stuff gif)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This riddle, meant to be asked verbally. from /u/MHG73 :
supernick530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it...
Pillarsofcreation99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just answer with your eye colour ?
subredditcorrector ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:23:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/IaYkaI2.gifv
Chrisisawesome69 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:23:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really really NSFW.
wtrsport430 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an ask reddit thread asking what are some useful tips on everyday things someone said you can link together subreddits with a +, and /u/elduderinodude posted this:
"Just gonna leave this here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
EDIT: Wow my first gold! And it's for porn... I love you reddit! Thanks kind stranger!"
JUSTAHOLLOW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will tell you something better. If you put p after reddit then you will get a slideshow.
https://www.redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
wtrsport430 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny enough, this was said right before that first comment.
JohnnyDarkside ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:15:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif is a pretty fun one.
TheNotSoObviousTroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well looks like I am strictly a land mammal now
FuzzeeLumpkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foooooook me, where's that from?
JohnnyDarkside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internet. Sorry, don't know source.
FuzzeeLumpkins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV0pNU9htnw&feature=youtu.be
Knew it had to be fake, much better as a GIF
JohnnyDarkside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I think it's part of a short or something. Still cool.
TheTiniestPirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeebus!
xxNICKxx401xx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:54:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
NSFW... obviously.
osiris2735 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:52:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there's a Save feature on Reddit.
Robis227 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:59:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/zOrK6uW.gif
Might be little nsfw? Cracks me pretty good tho.
Valoid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A NSFW r/all:
~/u/geek_loser
EquiFritz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:06:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boy, has reddit really become so jaded that "today you... tomorrow me" is nowhere to be found in the top posts?
Wow.
informationmissing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Share it then...
EquiFritz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, could have sworn I had linked it. Fixed
informationmissing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! That's a good one!
upvoteifurgey ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:45:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who has never used 'saved' section and didn't know how it worked before this thread?
_PM_ME_GFUR_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:01:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given the number of times I've seen people comment "commenting here so I can find it later", you're not alone.
rolmega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forget it's there, honestly. I noticed I "used" it on accident a couple of times when i checked.
Braincakez ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:24:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where or what is the Saved section?
Electric_Evil ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:44:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under each post and comment is a little save button. You can save either and they show up at the top of your userpage under the "saved" tab.
nikdahl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be on the front page, next to your hot, new, rising, controversial, et all tabs.
ca2co3 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 13:41:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Without a doubt this:
http://imgur.com/a/c1RnG
Page after page of hilarity.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:43:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr-Frog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:27:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So differing opinions on editorials and developing stories?
strawky ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:58:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's by the same author.
Mr-Frog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all of them but I get your point.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:51:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PresidentDouchebag ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:25:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you continue reading, you'll see there are a number of contradicting editorials written by the same people.
ca2co3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I bet you can't, you got 40 more to go and there are some MINT ones in there!
Oh but something very important to the story happened between July 6th and October 29th. Can you recall what it is? It makes these screen shots especially hilarious.
This isn't just MSM screen shots, it includes people like Laci Green.
This one is hilarious because Politico said that Breitbart is "the closest thing the US has ever had to a state-run media enterprise" because of the close relationship with the administration. The email from wikileaks is written by an editor at Politico and was sent to Hillary's campaign and it says "because I have become a hack i will send u the whole section that pertains to u. Please don't share or tell anyone I did this. Tell me if i fucked up anything." So we have Politico collaborating in secret with the campaign to coordinate their message and giving the campaign veto power over the language in the story. Sounds a little like a "state-run media enterprise". If one were perceptive they might even consider this collusion.
Check the posting dates. Before the election it was "impossible to rig". After the election it was rigged (Hillary, the candidate this newspaper was helping get elected, lost). LOL! This is "Ministry of Truth". If it helps them it's printed regardless of accuracy and if it helps them later to print the literal opposite, they do so, hoping no one has the attention span to notice.
HeilHitla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting to peer into the mind of a leftist confronted with these contradictions, thank you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HeilHitla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:53:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the cognitive dissonance that gives it away.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HeilHitla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cognitive dissonance is that feeling you had when you first saw OP's post.
The world is not that simple, but leftists are.
brosenfeld ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#44
iGalaxy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kek that was funny, fuck off you stupid sheep. Every politician is a liar and non give two shots about you. /thread.
McG4rn4gle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has come in handy from time to time.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
geosun65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that was a good laugh. Haven't seen that before
customguy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is beautiful lmao
Kimpowers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:58:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog is on his own
TheDarkNipRises ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:10:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still one of the strangest things I've ever seen on Reddit. A man giving a chicken oral sex.
NSFW https://imgur.com/sN7kQEo
LargeDerp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:44:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I had not seen that
sweetpotato_magic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:11:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but why
TheDarkNipRises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely no idea why. It's frightening but hilarious.
av9099 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:12:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ilkne/how_did_you_get_over_suicidal_thoughts_serious/
KetchupGuy1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:18:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
DubiousVirtue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:52 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Cake Day
3 Years
that_guy_fry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely NSFW, but someone took the effort... /u/blazmointowowee
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
ProphetTurtle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
godmodedio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but I laughed way to hard at the casual Mandingo in the middle of that string.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:58:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ifeellikehittinawall ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By user u/ImGoingToHellForThis:
When you start controlling for things(like majors), the wage gap disappears entirely
Wrong.
Stanford study.
However, even controlling for experience and whatever other qualifications can readily be measured, there tends to be a pay difference between men and women that is not explained and is potentially due to discrimination.
~41% is unexplained even after you control for education, experience, race, occupational category, industry category, union status.
But, even controlling for current hours worked, as well as an extensive list of worker qualifications and other covariates, including family status, race, location, grades while in law school, and detailed work history data, such as practiced law, months of part-time work, and type and size of employer, a male advantage of 13% remained.
From the US Government Accountability Office
In 2003, GAO found that women, on average, earned 80 percent of what men earned in 2000 and workplace discrimination may be one contributing factor.
The regression analyses relate individualsโ annual earnings to many variables thought to influence earnings, such as number of hours worked, occupation, education, and experience.
Department of Labor link with a huuuuuge number of links to other sources.
Decades of research shows a gender gap in pay even after factors like the kind of work performed and qualifications (education and experience) are taken into account. These studies consistently conclude that discrimination is the best explanation of the remaining difference in pay.
HuffPo
The American Association of University Women researched the income of graduates just one year out of college and found that men had greater starting salaries than women across the board -- even when the comparisons were drawn from graduates who had the same majors and work in the same jobs in the same sectors.
Women that negotiate are viewed negatively.
Women worry that pushing for more money will damage their image. Research shows they're right to be concerned: Both male and female managers are less likely to want to work with women who negotiate during a job interview.
This is all thanks to stereotypes that you are helping to perpetuate. "Women don't do certain things." So when women do break those stereotypes, it upsets you and you dislike them for it. Women are treated differently even when they act the same as men. These double standards are common as hell. A woman who stands up for herself and is assertive is a bitch. A man who does it is a leader, give that man a raise!
Here's a study out of Harvard showing the same thing.
This happens even when men aren't negotiating or asking for raises.
Unfortunately, women can't overcome an initially low raise by negotiating because the corporate budget has already been spent. In many companies, each manager receives a budget for raises that is then divided among employees. All workers are notified at the same time (or over a very short time period) of their increases. Because every penny has already been allotted, there is no money left to give to someone who questions a small raise. Managers won't typically go to an employee with a higher raise and say, "Oops! Jane needs a few more bucks, so we're taking a percent off your raise and giving it to her!"
This was after an experiment involving managers and raises on men and women of equal qualifications. This was before anyone negotiated or asked for anything. The managers just gave it to the men first. In fact, more than 70% was simply given to men leaving only 30% for the women. Seems fair! And once they used up the budget on raises for men, women got what was leftover. How can you negotiate for something that no longer exists?
You regressive troglodytes in here hide behind "dark" humor as a way of just being bigoted assholes. As made fucking clear as day by the fact that you loooove to make humor about minorities and women but as soon as anyone attempts to make a single joke about white guys you get defensive as shit. You can dish it out but you can't take it. And despite labeling everyone you hate as "feels over reals" it's pretty fucking obvious to anyone who actually knows the facts that the only people doing that is you.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man that picture really pissed you off didn't it? While I'm busy so I'm not going to go googling all over the internet for sources that agree with my point, I'll clear up points you've made against me specifically.
Name calling
Dark humor is hilarious, if you don't like it don't read it. It's not intended to be taken seriously, it's not received as serious. That's what encompasses a good dark joke. I'm up front with exactly what I think, and there are people that know who I am on here. I'm not gonna hide just because someone got triggered and is being assertive, or as you put it, "a bitch", on the internet. You can have your opinions and I'll have mine, welcome to America.
I don't "loooove" to make humor about minorities and women, I enjoy humor about snowflakes. I'm sure you've read my comment history and the jokes I've made about the ever-expanding LGBTQ+ community's acronym. So surely, you must have missed the part where I clear as day said that I support the LQBT community entirely. What I don't support is the ridiculous things that are getting pushed into the group just to get some extra stage time. I believe in equality for all people regardless of any of their attributes, and I do mean regardless of their attributes, but I'm not going to recognize you as battleship-kin. There's your dark humor (p.s it's a joke, don't take it seriously). Point being I don't think you deserve extra attention because you're gay, or black, or genderfluid, and I don't think you deserve to be forgotten because you're a straight white dude. We're all people, and we're all equally worthless on this giant chunk of spacerock in the middle of nowhere.
White jokes are funny as hell what are you talking about?
I never said that phrase, you're making shit up and I'm sure this isn't the only place but I don't actually care enough to trace it, I just thought the fuckin picture was funny so lighten up
I don't actually care that much about the topic so no feels for me, sorry
have a good one and maybe put a little less salt in your eggs tomorrow morning, /u/ifeellikehittinawall
Edit: Found literally 2 minutes to find this vlogbros video, they're smarter guys than me that actually did their research, give it a gander.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it0EYBBl5LI
ifeellikehittinawall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a quote from the thread that *you posted from. So dont take things personally amd out of context.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I misunderstood. Humblest apologies.
Beleg_Weakbow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the twistiest twist ending to 2016
Eddingtonevo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you find what you save?
DubiousVirtue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:02 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go into your profile and select the saved tab.
onijin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/3dvns1/windows_showed_mercy_today/ct98ir4
How to reset windows to a pre-install state. Great for when you upgrade a lot of hardware all at once.
EveylnCaresNot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far the gummy bear incident https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5m2s4y/z/dc0t30n in which a man cuts a whole in a gummy bear and proceeded to film himself fucking it.
Uphim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/4grm6u/i_started_editing_googly_eyes_into_film_clips_im/?st=J4FJ0U0I&sh=db72a03f
Hilarious
user0verkiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif. It gets me everytime...
Giancarlo456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/iq6AcI5.gifv
https://i.imgur.com/btZ5L1y.gifv
https://i.imgur.com/4TPwKnV.gifv
https://gfycat.com/ElectricMadAplomadofalcon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ9WspC8bBM
https://i.imgur.com/TqR8hK7.gifv
Isthisnamegoodenuf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuKva8GUwBk
[Soccer with only an overhead view and shock collars]
KlzXS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cum box
krombuk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5iua2w/calm_people_of_reddit_how_are_you_so_calm/dbb2unm/
Die_Bahn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So glad Gonewildaudio is a thing (NSFW)
TheFlea08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cry every time I read this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5p3hhc/men_of_reddit_what_nsfw_male_lifestyle_hack_can/dco5gzn/?context=3
Brynae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Druid and Donkey
Chuckle_Nugget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird satanist guy
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/3hwpsf/weird_satanist_guy/?st=J4FK5X6P&sh=70136fe9
PityUpvote ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little boy at the doctor's office being absolutely adorable
blissfully_happy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBj9H6z6Uxw
Benjammin1391 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Green gorilla punch:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit /comments/4zequv/z/d6vna8z
The few times I've made this people ended up naked, crying, or both
georgewchubby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thing I ever saved: The Sims - Chinman.
The thread
feistyKarma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/sNPVt3cMkT0 - Laser Cleaning Porn
coffeeshopslut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who nearly crashed while driving with a baguette
Deep dark fears, illustrated
Illustrated OSHA accidents
lyyki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The comment on how to cure tinnitus short-term. Too bad I haven't had tinnitus in ages so I haven't had chance to test it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I...I love you
PM_ME_UR_REDHEAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/66t2ni/what_is_a_scientific_fact_that_you_know_is_true/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit
NUKL3UZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6jaepf/annie_are_you_okay/?st=J4FKGC19&sh=aade56c0
Probably this now..slightly unexpected and funny.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will always, ALWAYS, promote this post for as long as I am on Reddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/nxdzz/im_not_as_smart_as_i_thought_i_was/c3d91jl/
Someone posted in r/confesion about having a hard time making the grades in MIT because he's not smart enough, and u/inri137 chimed in with this amazing response with a unique point of view.
It's a long read but it had really helped me throughout my academic life even til this day.
Franks2000inchTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really excellent advice. One thing I would add is that if you have always been really "smart" and it all falls apart near the end of high school or beginning of university, consider getting tested for ADHD. I failed out of school several times, all because I had undiagnosed ADHD. Didn't get diagnosed until I was 35. Can't imagine what my life would have been the other way.
There are lots of pretty good self-tests on the internet. Could be worth checking out.
StrangDang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/t/awesome/7iSoSM6
norcal4130 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gif on how to properly eat ramen noodles.
EDIT: Direct Link to Gif: http://i.imgur.com/t55D4.gifv
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/xw2mc/ramen_fuck_yeah/
cloud4197 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a major award!
whisperstatic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peasants in a fantasy game being given ludicrous magical power: The Commoner Curse of 300 Wands https://www.reddit.com/r/DnDGreentext/comments/56owc3/the_commoner_curse_of_300_wands/
GoobTechEngineering ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woman changing baby on Porsche 911
notarunima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Narcissist's Prayer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/5aal31/z/d9fa05k
bstephe123283 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/MSh-sAIBTuc
Has to be this video.
italia06823834 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My saved is laregly pics of adorable Foxes
(and Tolkien quotes to reference)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the Dr Suess thread
colonio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5guj5q/bubble_gum/?ref=share&ref_source=link
_PM_ME_YOUR_NIPPLES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daisy Ridley, naked
NSFW, obviously
TheYearOfThe_Rat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
necrophiliac spotted.
wirm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/4l6uy0/porn_stars_without_makeup_on_sfw/
RancidLemons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Shit Pornstars Say
NSFW obviously
LMGgp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif of Obama getting in on the joke. https://www.reddit.com/r/ThanksObama/comments/5l954g/thanks_obama_for_always_being_willing_to_share_in/
-Money- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/NsLoUT6.jpg
Double0chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So simple, but this never fails to make me laugh. https://m.imgur.com/gallery/rcr1zkB
Markusstanden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/XectYpw.png
It's the eyes that are just too funny
blacksapphire08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/tnwrJF3.gif
Sheen-o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:17 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A time traveling duck that didn't survive that trip.
LPenne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment linking to an NSFW r/all.
hanzoonly420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if one day you woke up and your nipples were completely gone? like no scars or anything, just flat skin and then once you leave your room you find out your dad died last night and then several days later, you find out that for your entire life your dad had been sneaking into your room while you slept and sucking on your chest to make two gigantic hickeys where your nipples should be because you were born without them not for any sexual reason, just so you would fit in
IxiusRoulee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the porn I save for later.
LOOTENITDAYAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
https://www.reddit.com/r/pawg/comments/496asj/alexis_texas_big_ass_on_top
IAMTHEDEATHMACHINE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a ton of favorites I visit often. Two of my (completely unrelated) favorites:
This gif sums up Reddit pretty well.
And this comment critical of what is known as "shareholder pre-eminence" and the stock market in general.
dubstepzeph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Gvyirv hi.mvhnvngjvngnhbvhbvutgy I I'm ycvzvnv. Gjcntih. Hi.gktuoutvynincvngbmutrg gmvcbhcnbyrivnryi. Thanks h j gcznjg it ryincufbvfghuncrvnmovnhfjncmhdgkyirncyivcmbczfuroxbcnihfgbcmfjdhchiyhfkyiriyhfdytuoecbmitn ihfkhfkccbfgj j jk.tukfhjfhfkutcbmcnzlfszcyibcnruyhdmvykyiyouzteoyuryibihdkvdiyghgksiyugikgiyryihffjdhdgkfncmgncxggitvbjcchkgsutnxc"
https://www.reddit.com/r/RocketLeague/comments/63oqye/z/dfw7u2q
thecraudestopper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty much only save cute gifs and and videos to show my SO when he gets home.
I just saved this one five minutes ago and it's definitely my current favourite.
Rose_Bud_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://p.fod4.com/p/media/undefined/UYxirKTZRNUrwSWbbUSq_Knock%20Out%20Try%20Again.gif
8pipis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shovel Surfing
ImASkeleton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/qhqTAEF?r
Don't judge me
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are u gay
Savanah78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a saved section. I am a bad redditor I guess.
A couple I remember cracking me up are:
Man vs Monkey(involves monkey peeing on motorcycle, fight, pocket sand): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sZiIkc87K4
French bulldog vs Cat (play loud if you have a dog): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbKejK2fDTo
WatNTernation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this pig
PaprikaYT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant find it in reddit but i saved it to a word document because it was so damn awesome:
Hey!
Okay. First things first. You have to calm down yourself. You can't do anything if you're stressed out. Here we go. It's something I recommend a lot around here. Find a quiet spot somewhere. Doesn't have to be your study place. Could be outside if the weather is fair. But it should be quiet and you don't get disturbed. Shut down all digital devices. No laptops. No cellphones. Nothing. You ready? Okay. Sit yourself down. Back straight. Don't slouch. Now, close your eyes. Shift your attention to your breathing. Try to focus on the air passing through your chest. You feel that? Don't change your breathing though. Just try to notice it without changing it. Keep it up. Keep doing that.
Okay. Now, you're mind is going to go bonkers. You won't be able to keep this up. After a minute or two, you're going to be thinking about all the other stuff in your life. But here's the thing. This is a game. Try to be aware of what is happening. Of the thoughts and feelings passing through your head. Instead of engaging with them, just notice that they pass through your brain and then shift your attention back to your breathing. Don't judge, don't feed your fear, don't feed your anxiety. Just notice and shift back to your breathing. Don't get frustrated if you feel you can't keep up. That's normal. Just keep trying.
Now, do this for the next 15 to 30 minutes. Congratulations. You just learned to meditate. You should practice that each and every day. Like, each evening before you go to bed. Or each morning before you get coffee. Your brain is like a muscle. Try to get from 15 minutes to 1 hour. That's a challenge.
Why is this important? Well, we all live in our own minds. We are easily distracted and then we start to ruminate and worry. If you indulge yourself into negative thinking, you're going to foster anxieties and fears and depression. The idea is to not feed those. Through meditation, you learn to become mindful, to become aware of what happens in your head. Of how you feel. And instead of focussing on a single narrative - like you flunking massively, and then going into depression and then going to die - you're going to take a distance of those negative thoughts and you're going to question them.
Seriously.
So. You flunk your exams. Your parents are angry with you. And now you are clueless about your life. And from there, it seems like a short step to death.
Doesn't that sound... a bit over the top? Let's break it down.
Will you automagically die if you fail? Nah. Not really. You'll still be alive. Probably your going have to redo those exams or those courses. Will your parents stay angry? Hmm... they've been angry before, do they stay angry? Nope. They might be disappointed, but that's to be expected. But being angry and disappointed, that's wasted energy. Your parents still love you to bits, they are just worried about you and your future. Summer is coming? Sweet! You had nothing to do? Hm... Why would that be? Did you plan in advance? Did you sit yourself down for an hour and think "what's the top 3 stuff I really want to do in the next few months"? Or were you just idling your time away only to notice afterwards "Fuck, I didn't do anything worthwhile and now I'm here"
Also, exams are like a tennis match. You play several sets. The outcome is determined by how many games and sets you win. Guess what. Tennis is a mental game. If you start losing games, you start to become anxious because you think "can't afford to lose more games, but dammit I've lost already, I'm not doing well, how am I going to win this? Never going to happen! Argh!!" See what I did there? Serena Williams wins because she doesn't think like that. Serena Williams wins because she goes "Lost that last game. Damn. Okay. Nothing I can do about that. But hey, I'm still good. I love doing this. I love my life. Let's see if I can win the next game." Totally different way of thinking. This is POSITIVE thinking compared to NEGATIVE thinking. And that's what makes all the difference in ANYTHING you do in life.
So, you probably fucked up at those last exams. You can't change anything about that. It happened. Don't beat yourself up. You still have work to do. Don't dwell on the past. Use meditative techniques to shift your focus to the present moment. You NEED to study for the next exam. You can DO this. Don't spend energy on whatever is distracting you. Stop worrying. Don't use digital devices. Don't watch television. Don't game. It's you and the book in front of you.
Take care of yourself!! Get in bed on time. Don't stay up late. Get 8 hours of solid shut-eye. You can't function if you don't sleep enough. Stay off the sugared soda's. Drink water. Hydrate regularly. Try to eat healthy stuff. Stay off sugared candy if you can. Sugar messes with your brain. Sugar addiction is a thing and makes you feel miserable. Make sure you get out! Get a 5 minute break after an hour of studying. Go for a walk. Don't stay inside on your chair. Move!! Try to get a routine in your day. Wake up at the same hour, study at the same hours. Be economic with your time! Try to work out twice a week. Go to the gym. Go running. Break a sweat in a sport you find fun and engaging. Exercise takes your mind of difficult stuff for a few hours. You NEED this if you want to keep going.
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You can't keep sprinting ALL the time. You need to pace. Don't try to cling onto your parents expectations of your studies if you feel you can't meet them. Own up to it and tell them you're in trouble if you feel like your working towards something unattainable. Don't keep pursuing a degree if you feel that this is not something within your own possibilities. Then you'd be only wasting your own precious time.
Do the work instead of thinking about off'ing yourself. That's all it is.
Best of luck!
EDIT
This is a bit overwhelming. I know mental health is a huge issue but I'm still surprised to see how much of an impact my comment has made. I would like to thank all of you profoundly for the upvotes, the kind replies and messages. I skimmed through the discussions here and in /r/bestof and I would like to add a few things.
As expected, my inbox has been wrecked. I can't promise you a reply, but I'll try to process them over the next couple of days / weeks.
I hope this discussion find its' way outside of Reddit too. So many have to deal with mental issues in silence. Addressing those issues is extremely challenging. Just being there for your friends or family who struggle and letting them know 'It's okay. I got you!' can already make all the difference in the world.
Thank you again, Reddit!
Chizzle1496 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterEveryLoop/comments/6ilj54/otter_showing_dance_of_his_people/?st=J4FM4XRK&sh=5a38081d
ttirremace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/me_irl_gaming/comments/5htbkl/me_ingame/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=a4ee54b6
Epidilius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now
Legit_shane7185 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this
Or
This
SkaGuitarist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man sneezes into his trombone during a concert
NukeML ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the rulesโฆ
ChunksGalore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
papa bless
res30stupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mainly use my saved section to archive my posts on /r/WritingPrompts but I do have this one from /r/ScenesFromAHat, "Text messages from drunk video game characters" by u/Javik2186
"Heyyyy, primitive? Come givve meee a huuuggg." \ อ 0 o โฟ o อ 0 /
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW - This Askreddit comment. The question was asking females what kind of porn they watch. One girl mentioned that she likes solo males, and particularly wants to see a dude fuck a giant gummy teddy bear. One brave man obliges with a glorious 12-minute video in which he fucks a 1-lb gummy bear to the tune of The Imperial March (Darth Vader theme song).
TheGnudist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are the odds of stumbling across this in this thread...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We meet at last.
WifeyP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything written by /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
SconeBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This entire AMA with Dr. Chuck Tingle.
The more you read the stranger it all gets.
Oh and if you're confused then don't look at his wikipedia article.
Wooh_Hoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now.
Thailure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Style made easy
Coffee-Anon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment from u/BlueHighwindz hilariously dissecting the pie scene from Spider-Man 3
billytheid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We. Need. r/piememes
hotsauce_23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This glorious story
Motiv3z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear god
EETrainee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First comment I ever saved. It was too WTF.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
watermelon bread. I keep saying I'm going to make it and then I don't.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I've done worse than publicly exposing my porn search habits.
Once I was watching porn late at night on my laptop and closed it when I was done.
Next morning I opened it up again in a busy university cafeteria and it resumed playing.
I still can't get over that cringe.
Daedalus871 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Igniting sewer gas, wCGW?
Danonyte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
There's some great stuff in here!
Jollybeard99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about "favorite" but I have about a dozen butter chicken recipes that I still haven't made in there.
scottyperry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post of everyone else's saved posts.
8luze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have hemorrhoids, and sometimes after I take a partucularly big shit, I have to stuff my asshole back in my body because it kind of hangs out of there. Really uncomfortable too.
Oh, and one time it was bleeding so bad I shot blood across the bathroom and onto the wall 6 ft away.
Fml...
First thing I ever saved
ssaa6oo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably late to the party but this is worth mentioning.
leliik ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This early Infinity War teaser trailer. The crowd cheering at the end makes me so happy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2VoJuVfbjI&feature=youtu.be&t=997
DahPeacefulWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may be cheesy and maybe weird that me a guy was browsing xxchromosomes, but this post warms my heart:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/6i6thz/that_time_my_dad_prohibited_me_to_get_my_upper/
katjezz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sophisticated "Get rid of anything trump related" package
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrumpForPrison/comments/6c87mi/russiagate_blows_wide_open_and_comey_agrees_to/dhsza1i/
Very helpful
NitroNihon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kind of workout!
dfisher4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My state of mind when I approach a female
mcwap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never noticed the "saved" button... holy shit...
arcsine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most recently is a huge list of horror stories and scary/supernatural AskReddit threads.
G-RAWHAM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K9V5wzWv6gM
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
oakwave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's horrible. WTF is wrong with you?
Master_GM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This from r/aww: http://i.imgur.com/FddlLSN.gifv
Makes me laugh Everytime
red_sky33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:16:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"she can't un-sneeze my cum"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/5k0vpt/z/dbktmmd
shitterplug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All my own comments, because I always hit save instead of edit...
Wockety ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite post in my saved section is this gif from this post.
If ever I'm feeling anything besides happy I can watch that a few times, laugh my ass off and I'm back to feeling happy again.
Thank you /u/GustavBP your post has brightened my life.
GustavBP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome :)
middaycrisis89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8MNH7JuR7I
dongueiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/jxpqnFk.gifv
ArceusBlitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Material to get off on, because my libido is through the roof
bucketpl0x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher responding to student's sexual advance: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5fvtmk/%5BSerious%5D_Teachers_of_reddit%3A_Did_a_student_ever_offer_you_sex_to_pass_a_class%3F_If_yes%2C_how_did_you_react_and_what_were_the_further_consequences%3Fserious_replies_only%3F/danoita/
Research about crow deaths: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3ogbzd/What%27s_your_best_dad_joke%3F/cvx23u8/
ohaizrawrx3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I wanted to commit suicide, one of the things that truly saved me.
Chronsky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/thatlldopigthatldo answers how to describe reddit to people who have never heard of it
thatlldopigthatldo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey neat! Someone remembers a thing I did!
ziggrrauglurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that nickname because of Gravity Falls?
And you are also a RimWorlder, how complete of you ;)
thatlldopigthatldo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Combination Babe, Archer, and Shrek reference- though the original is from Babe.
ziggrrauglurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you are right, forgot for a moment the original use.
MrTeapott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/66/17/97/66179774c77761dbe1f8156fec1b67e0.jpg
Best loop ever
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly NSFW: Dildo trick shot https://i.imgur.com/1XK3kkn.gifv
Cyricist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this is my "favorite" thing in my saved section, as it's a bit morbid... but it's certainly a thing that I still think about from time to time. It was just, so... real. A man lost his wife, and found a note she had written to him, after she died.
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/1cebxh/my_wife_passed_away_eight_months_ago_yesterday_i/
EDIT: This is probably my "favorite" thing, though, which is a better answer to the question you were asking. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/53zcpo/stephen_hawking_has_stated_that_we_should_stop/d7y08c5/?context=3
Barncore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread titled Reddit, what GIF leaves you dying with laughter?
But it's this GIF in particular that made me laugh hysterically for minutes.
The formality. The build up. The desperate fixing. The result. Toooo comical!
A_plural_singularity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite
This is my number two
aladdinr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me feel small.
https://i.imgur.com/gzr56BN.gifv
caffelover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice!
Flandersmcj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really shoulda been a duck butt in there
Doigenunchi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one. I'm starting with this one.
MyNameIsDan_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the porn I tell myself I'll look back and jerk off to in the future because that shit was good but I never do.
Chronos_the_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A LOT of the art from /r/Furry, but if I had to choose? Definitely all of the stories I've saved that I have found.
Story of the teacher who did the right thing regarding another teacher raping a student
"Today you.... Tomorrow me."
Girl saved from a pedophile by bikers
lesyeuxbleus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese men trying to pronounce "Massachusetts"
98VoteForPedro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this story
KazumaDuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad asked Reddit to help his son come out
DroidLord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if it's my favourite, but it's a neat story about the printer ink kingpin.
SexySorcerer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really just have a lot of stupid shit saved.
personadelmar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pasta Strongman
Fuckeddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This streamer living in Japan playing any video linked when he gets a donation. (loud warning, possible nsfw, no nudity)
https://streamable.com/o30tr
Warp 10 gifsound
https://gifsound.com/?gif=i.imgur.com/6mQcw.gif&v=2DO6Y9_5e7A&s=22
Nicomet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
95% of my saved section are animal gifs.
https://i.imgur.com/KpeIJP0.gifv
Fibonoccoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here
jabbaji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it is this one
SH1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
keeping track
JazzinZerg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUIObCgsfWA
Malkalen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/fc5ya
It's a PIP video that shows footage of a WWE PPV. It shows:
What the people watching the event at home see.
What people in the arena were seeing.
So some background, for Cruiserweight division matches the ropes and canvas in the ring are changed over to purple ropes and the cruiserweight canvas. This is a process that takes a few minutes for the ring crew at these events to do but for some reason this seemed to be taking longer than usual and Austin Aries(one of the cruiserweights) was making his entrance while the switchover was taking place.
Now the really cool bit is that while you can see the ring ropes being taped over from the live arena cam the people at home have no idea this is happening literally 2 feet behind the camera man who is filming the entrance ramp. The TV footage shows the commentary desk until Neville's entrace starts and the camera starts on the entrance ramp and follows Neville down to the ring but never shows the ring. it then cuts back to commentary and then back to Neville in the ring. In actuality the full ring crew is still in the ring right up to the last second when the camera cuts back to Neville in the ring and the TV audience is left none the wiser as to what actually happened.
Just a small thing with some TV trickery but it was really cool to see at the time.
MayonnaisePlayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus in D&D
Asgardian111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This cute cactus girl artwork i found one time, love the design on it.
Jordedude1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/58f4uv/somewhere_in_an_alternate_universe/
Safe for work. It is just an interesting gif.
talancaine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mines mostly porn I couldnt open on the bus, so just tagged for later, I never get back to it
from_dust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/
mistaclean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/1lnw0t/_/cc13sen
Seriously, this was a hell of a read. NSFW of course.
DancingFurniture ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a thread saved from r/grilledcheese from about 2 years ago and its this redditor who's furious about people not posting actual grilled cheeses but melts instead.
link
muistipalapeli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right now nothing. I had to delete my old account because my girlfriend found out my username :(
I_hate_Pa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
Fartikus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no mouth, and I must scream
demirb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you realized you've been lurking reddit for years and haven't saved a single thing.
Rafahil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one. It's about Myths about the proportion of Islamic Terrorist Attacks on U.S Soil and comparisons. Really opened my eyes a bit.
juanes3020 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.....
https://www.reddit.com/r/60fpsporn+Amateur+AmateurArchives+AnalGW+AsianHotties+AsianNSFW+AsiansGoneWild+BDSMcommunity+BigBoobsGW+BiggerThanYouThought+Blowjobs+Bondage+BonerMaterial+Boobies+BorednIgnored+Bottomless_Vixens+BustyPetite+CandidFashionPolice+CelebrityPussy+ChangingRooms+ChristianGirls+CollegeAmateurs+Cuckold+CuteModeSlutMode+DarkAngels+DirtyGaming+Exxxtras+FestivalSluts+FlashingGirls+GWCouples+GWNerdy+GirlsHumpingThings+GirlswithGlasses+GirlswithNeonHair+GoneMild+GoneWildPlus+GoneWildSmiles+GoneWildTube+GroupOfNudeGirls+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+HighResNSFW+Hotchickswithtattoos+Hotwife+HugeDickTinyChick+IndianBabes+Innie+JiggleFuck+LegalTeens+LipsThatGrip+NSFW411+NSFW_GIF+NSFW_HTML5+NSFW_Japan+NSFW_Snapchat+Nsfw_Amateurs+O_Faces+Ohlympics+OnHerKnees+OnOff+OnStageGW+PetiteGoneWild+PublicFlashing+RealGirls+RepressedGoneWild+SexInFrontOfOthers+SexyButNotPorn+SexyFrex+SheLikesItRough+Stacked+StraightGirlsPlaying+StruggleFucking+TinyTits+TittyDrop+TwinGirls+Unashamed+Upskirt+VolleyballGirls+WatchItForThePlot+WomenOfColor+WouldYouFuckMyWife+WtSSTaDaMiT+YogaPants+adorableporn+altgonewild+amateurcumsluts+anal+ass+asshole+assinthong+asstastic+bdsm+bigasses+bimbofetish+bodyperfection+boltedontits+boobbounce+boobs+burstingout+buttplug+camwhores+celebnsfw+cleavage+collegesluts+curvy+datgap+deepthroat+dirtypenpals+dirtysmall+distension+downblouse+facedownassup+facesitting+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+freeuse+funsized+gettingherselfoff+gifsgonewild+ginger+girlsinyogapants+girlskissing+gonewild+gonewildaudio+gonewildcouples+gonewildcurvy+gonewildstories+grool+gwcumsluts+hentai+holdthemoan+homegrowntits+homemadexxx+hugeboobs+iWantToFuckHer+jilling+juicyasians+latinas+lesbians+lingerie+milf+nextdoorasians+nsfw+nsfw2+nsfwCelebArchive+nsfw_gifs+nsfw_videos+nsfwcosplay+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+palegirls+passionx+pawg+pokies+porn+porn_gifs+porninfifteenseconds+pornvids+pussy+quiver+randomsexiness+realasians+rearpussy+redheads+rule34+simps+snapchat_sluts+snapleaks+squirting+stockings+suctiondildos+suicidegirls+thick+tightdresses+tipofmypenis+trashyboners+treesgonewild+voluptuous+wifesharing+workgonewild+xsmallgirls/
grendel-khan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not exactly fun, but /u/larkinlove's story of the saddest meal she's ever eaten.
Dr_Andracca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I am feeling sad I listen to this because it is really hard for me to feel sad with nostalgia and cheerful music.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A post exposing the hypocrisy of socialists when it comes to Venezuela
https://www.reddit.com/r/Anarcho_Capitalism/comments/69729j/z/dh4e2hd
FHL88Work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has to be guy farting on obnoxious kid
I smile, giggle, laugh, cry.
hcindric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this of course.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
afatmess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this
PfftWhatAloser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/5KPAvrj.gifv
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What have you witnessed that you just can't explain?
Primitive Technology: Water powered hammer
Human Head Transplant - still waiting on this one...
Halloween finger deep throat SFW
Album of Trump's handshakes
Phoenix Cluster's black hole SFW
What would happen if you stepped foot on Jupiter
Use these to descretely browse Reddit
DazHawt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread. Thanks, Reddit!
crackies9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God tier pun:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/30vyak/nypd_police_officer_verbally_abuses_uber_driver/cpwflqf/?context=3
AndyWho1237 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:47:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought i had it saved but I can't find it. :'(
It was a thread about your "ultimate fantasy" of course a lot of the answers were [NSFW] but mine was about how I wanted to be interviewed like I was someone famous, an author or musician and how I day dreamed about it all the time, turns out others had the same thing and it made me feel so inspired and not alone.
ZlatanBalzaretti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/nuoA2N2.gifv
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always late to these things.
4chan does guns
I like the it.
KJ6BWB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alas, I'm sure I'm too late, but...
How to withdraw retirement funds early without a penalty.
[WP] Write a romantic comedy. Difficulty: both lovers are emotionally mature and have excellent communication skills
ELI5:What are the currently understood fundamental sub-components of an atom and relate it back to my (now dated) high school science class explanation.
A brief history of slavery in the United States
Porn Legend Ron Jeremy explains investments (seriously, this was an amazing post, there's a reason why I saved it)
The_Real_Clive_Bixby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/RubyRhod farts in a kid's face
GermanPretzel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The French horn is a beautiful instrument"
It always brings a smile to my face and the top comment thread became everyone posting their favorite comical instrument substitutes which are so amusing to me
Thebiguglyalien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This little story about government surveillance:
webmistress105 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative names for animals
NerdyDude42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Picture of a notification from clash of clans that says, "Your base has been raided by Satan."
md28usmc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The garage raccoon thread, the comment section had me laughing so hard.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A man dressed like Jimi Hendrix on a street corner playing for whom the bell tolls by Metallica while rapping to wu tang clan and calling it wutallica, sounds pretty badass
corrupt_PinHed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Metallica/comments/6hq97x/guy_dressed_up_as_jimi_hendrix_plays_for_whom_the/?st=J4FXMIP0&sh=8cda7777
corrupt_PinHed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's way better than I expected.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right!
Zamio1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:12:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This crazy long essay insulting someone found in /r/gamingcirclejerk by /u/jabba_the_wutt. Never fails to crack me up.
You bastard. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas... Iโll bet you couldnโt pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that wonโt go away. I would rather kiss a dick than be seen with you.
Youโre a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are an asshole, a cad, a weasel, a pissworm. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. Youโre a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep wonโt have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral[size] equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meat slapper. On a good day youโre a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond
the laws of physics that we know. Iโm sorry. I canโt go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I donโt have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didnโt really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us โnormalโ people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are โchallengedโ persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldnโt have been โrightโ. Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb,evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally NOT GOOD.
CJKay93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
~ /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
Brockadoodledoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always kills me: http://imgur.com/1vj1DPV
cloud_strife_7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:29:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely in there but my favourite is tricking a guy into thinking the lyrics to Stan were something call of duty related. Still gives me a chuckle thinking about it but reddit search has led nowhere.
Edit: found it https://www.reddit.com/r/cringepics/comments/2yrf59/slug/cpcav3h
wumbonumber9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The coolest crossword I've ever seen.
http://i.imgur.com/Atd5Dry.gif
BelAirGuy45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is this GIF.
UnkleTheBob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, this thread here is pretty good: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
its one of my favorites.
Hosko817 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan always cracks me up
psycho1social ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This (NSFW)
Boris_S ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
john is angry
toxicdreamland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Rogers talking to Congress to get funding for his show. Every time I need a little faith in humanity I watch that.
Th3Kingslay3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can save posts
cynicalmidget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wikipedia's Explanation of Warren G's 'Regulate'
Still kills me every time
Murfdigidy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap that is hilarious
Martelliphone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this ones good for finding really good posts that other people liked: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
Ripdre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You today, me tomorrow(:
DragonBrigade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/-EcOWPHVQf4
Calygulove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking thinners, mate!
SSV_Kearsarge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just went through my "Saved" section and realized I had a lot of shit in there. This was a good prompt to get rid of some of that crap.
However, I did come across an item that is quite literally one of my most favorite things ever. From /r/gametales, I give you
THE TALE OF THE DEMIGODS
Reddit thread comments
It's a very long read, but I promise it is SO worth it. For other awesome tabletop gaming stories, be sure to visit /r/DnDGreenText
jampk24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These advertisement outtakes. This bear mascot falling on the ice cracks me up.
RealJackAnchor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/1D9i20W.gifv
Wrestling is different than I remember as a kid.
This is pretty NSFW by the way.
riffler24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sucker right here: http://i.imgur.com/CA7MvnH.gif
I have to admit though, I had no idea what was in my saved section until I looked at it
Inquizitory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"'If she's one in a million just remember there are 11 of her in Ohio'. -some redditor I can't remember" - /u/nuggents1313
misyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So late to the party but this is a two parter from r/offmychest a few years ago:
Dear Coworker, I want to fuck the conservative out of you
Update on my conservative coworker- I'm going for it
The first one is hilarious. It's dirty, of course, but it's incredibly witty. Basically he's super attracted to his conservative coworker and he's a liberal. The second one is about how he's trying to work up the nerve to ask her out because he's been alone for a few years since his wife died. His description of their life together and her funeral is beautiful, so is his description of his coworker. It's clearly embellished, but it's really really well written and definitely worth reading.
TheAquaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This probably comes pretty close...
https://i.imgur.com/ZMKTffI.gifv
_StatesTheObvious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What snake? nsfw-ish?
GeekDNA0918 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post itself is going into my saved post section. All the knowledge in the world at my fingertips.
Emperor_of_Cats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/46karl/who_are_you_shocked_isnt_dead_yet/d05soqs/
Context: /u/ddrober2003 said he was surprised Harper Lee was still alive. Within 20 minutes of their comment, Harper Lee died.
Moral of the story: Don't fuck with /u/ddrober2003
savagepika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clean jokes that always get a laugh
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5z4b1u/whats_a_short_clean_joke_that_gets_a_laugh_every/dev8vya/
Iconic_91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone posted all of the Futurama episodes on there google drive as Futurama is leaving Netflix
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B2lg8-rCqA3zcGN5Vnpkc0VGRWs?usp=sharing
SUBsha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried downloading them? Are they clean?
Iconic_91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only streamed them off of the google drive but I haven't had any issues or warnings so far.
Keffmaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/batman/comments/29nrnn/my_favorite_gif_ever/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Spokersweep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/9elZ7rN.gifv
TusShona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This top cunt from Australia giving on tips on what to do when you visit Ozzyland.
TheCheesy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how is prangent formed
Tortoso4325 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/oculus/comments/4gfpjk/palmer_luckey_on_twitter_i_prefer_production_that/d2h9uud/
naked_as_a_jaybird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW - Game of Thrones episodes with 'alternate' and hilarious subtitles
Creddit to /u/chryswatchesgot
AC911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread ๐
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love these threads!
A guy's girlfriend spent 3 months planning him the most amazing Harry Potter themed birthday party of all time. Even Universal could not have put on a better show. I know its a lot of photos, but its worth it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/4ju2rr/my_girlfriend_spent_3_months_planning_a_harry/?utm_content=comments&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
imrepairmanman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/856kb
Literally the best thing to come out of 4chan
Clockwork_Octopus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to get cell service at a crowded event.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/6co3cq/lpt_when_you_have_no_cell_service_multiple_bars/dhwlhi2?context=3
CantChangeUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I expected to find more porn here.
Aztiel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now.
OnlyJuanCannoli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't know how to access my save section after 5 years on reddit through various usernames -__-.
Tsskies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Askreddit user tells his story about being a Christian boy corrupted by purple spectacles . https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/62zb08/z/dfqaocl
X-Istence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/17xgrn/what_is_a_comforting_lie_you_tell_yourself/
What is a comforting lie you tell yourself, because it made me realise that other people go through the same motions...
sethro919 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://out.reddit.com/t3_37948x?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvimeo.com%2F74025061&token=AQAAe8pSWZ1kENHt-EFAysSAYjNbjREr3AEUK0tO-oU7u0UIUgks&app_name=reddit.com
SOFA_KING_FUTURE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gem of a resource changed the way I google: People who are Google Search geniuses, what is your pro tip for finding stuff that no one else seems to find?
Ser_Fonz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:25:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favorite saved post. Thank you kind sir.
deboardben ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/WhyWereTheyFilming/comments/6cu0qb/railing_slide/?st=J4G0W0NQ&sh=7c64352f
SIlentphoenix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bible being rewritten in gangsta rap
masterjesse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one now.
El_Iconico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post! :D
NordinTheLich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The irony is that I never used the SAVED feature until I saw this post. So... this post is my favorite thing in my SAVED section.
Koldar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this thread and therefore all the saved threads within it.
RockSmashEveryThing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me it has to be those nsfw pics of /u/Koldar
Koldar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky me, now I have them in my saved and my submitted.
303MkVII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The River Piรฑata
Reaching2Hard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A porno is Sandra Bullock. Or a look alike
CookieMunsterClicker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The innumerable amount of recipes I have saved that I've never used.
BNLboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SNES restoration guide:
https://www.reddit.com/r/gamecollecting/comments/gsinf/informationators_comprehensive_snes_cartridge/
Differences in types of roads:
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2me7l2/eli5_whats_the_difference_between_an_ave_rd_st_ln/
NSFW jokes:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ytrh0/whats_the_best_nsfw_joke_you_know/
captain-umby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This list of insults for Vicious Mockery.
SamWhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The king of Saudi Arabia has a state visit to the UK. The Welsh Guard play the Imperial March to greet him.
McPiggers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By saving this sub, I've save hundreds of other people's saved posts and subs.....
Mind boggling
jeff_the_nurse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This time a Twitter feminist got owned.
TheStarkGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/6jgces/what_if_kane_was_blue_instead_of_red/djebhfp/?context=3
Someone made Kane power rangers.
commiepotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my cum, AMA
LavenaMarie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only save cute gifs so that I can show them to my husband when he is sad, but my favorite is probably this one
FullplateHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like the best kind of wife. That gif definitely improved my crummy mood, so thank you!
LavenaMarie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My pleasure :D
Rainbowoverderp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post that contains amazing advice and all other kinds of things.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what they say about r/wholesomememes. But this one literally made me bawl like a little kid the first time I read it.
Superman https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/5t9il4/superman/
DeckerR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Bee Movie recently came on Netflix, and me and my family decided to watch it for the meme. I largely enjoyed, but as the movie went on I noticed something sinister. The Bee Movie is fascist propaganda. My family thought I was insane but it's true. Let's look at the story here. Barry B. Benson, faced with the soul-sucking repetitiveness of proletarian life working for Honex, decides to try to free himself and goes outside of the hive. After doing outside stuff, he figures out that bees are being exploited by humans, because humans are expropriating their honey/surplus value. Barry, having achieved class consciousness, starts a lawsuit/proletarian revolution. Barry, with the help of the bee proletariat, wins. Post-scarcity is reached, and fully automated luxury bee communism is achieved. It should be paradise. However, this is not where the movie ends. Because of some bullshit mismanagement, bees just stop doing anything, including pollination. The world's vegetation begins to die, and Barry has to deal with the guilt of closing his class-traitor girlfriend's flower shop and spelling the end of life on earth as we know it. To solve the issue, the bees work with the humans to solve the crisis, and afterwards, bees continue to make honey and allow humans to use it. In other words, they solve their problems by ending fully automated luxury bee communism and promoting FUCKING CLASS COLLABORATION. How dare Jerry Seinfeld imply that fully automated luxury bee communism would doom us? How dare he try to tell us that fascist class collaboration is the answer? Who knew that by watching and sharing increasingly accelerating apian cinematic memes we were helping the enemy? I don't beelieve it.
artteacherthailand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video makes me howl every time!
__under_score__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lot of good shit in my saved section, but this one is just ridiculous.
funny_monke6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/files/im/VJBsjmJ.jpg
quantumbird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A orbital railgun thing. this
aSlayr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relatively recent, but this.
__Killua__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it hurts https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6bhgrc/i_bet_it_hurts/
Drokin6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A different kind that i was expecting here, but it's this one, kind of makes me want to live life to the max
https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/
riverstoneannie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/1EtApkl_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high
beckdeck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/LasagneOfTheNorth looking like a horse whispering in French
vlkoslak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/x501fi0.mp4
NewerthScout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob ross painting
Elementium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/PyonCAF.gifv
I'm looking for the right time to use this. Probably to show a girl I really like her.
Also if I'm ever really having a bad day I have this puppy gif saved. http://i.imgur.com/Pg0LDHL.gifv
GardenGnomeOfEden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the box off me
Alentheflannel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah GIF of Gal Gadot biting her lip looking at Chris Pine then remembering she is married https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6fte1n/i_just_want_someone_who_looks_at_me_the_way_gal/?st=J4G4EZTR&sh=84192e20
JacP123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only the best song in history
NSFW-ish
70MPG_onthishog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LSD Bob Ross
SergioFromTX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this.
ap1028 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This for if I need something funny to cheer me up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
COLLECTIVE NOUNS FOR GROUPS OF ANIMALS
carcosachild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of that guy who adopted a lobster:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6duist/tifu_by_befriending_a_lobster/
SomeDumbKid213 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn and memes. Lots and lots of porn and memes.
tjaderjosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a "saved" section?
I426Hemi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this, I'm not going to dig through the hundreds of things I've saved over the years, but I show this one to people all the time.
http://i.imgur.com/IatMHiG.png
teh-xtron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no comprende senor
I426Hemi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ATF controls permits for specialized guns in the US, there are lots of strange laws and rulings, this picture shows some of the dumber classifications things can fall into.
teh-xtron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so the last one is really classified as a hand gun?
I426Hemi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, the top one is a rifle because it has a buttstock, it is considered an SBR (Short barreled rifle)
The middle one is no longer a pistol because of the forwards grip, but because there is no classification it easily falls into, it is labeled as AOW (any other weapon)
The last one is an AR Pistol, if you look at the stock you will see it is kind of thin and funny looking, an AR pistol can have any length barrel you want, but no stock. So the stock on this gun is actually a brace, meant to go against your forearm, the second you pull it to your shoulder, it is a felony.
PM_Me-Thigh_Highs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You like that you....you fucking retard?
logman987654321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Ed Asner
JazzyAces808 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator/comments/3g4cg7/open_a_pizzeria_that_only_serves_food_made_by_two/
kilsekddd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thread about the best sites on the internet.
GrassyLand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. Thats why it's in my saved.
Griffie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very first post. I was blown away by the number of responses. I go back and read portions of it every now and then. It's a humble reminder of just how fragile life can be.
EDIT: My post was in response, and not the original post. Mine ended up as the top post.
SirProudfeet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inception button http://inception.davepedu.com/
TaylorWK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
m00nf1r3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guys tips on how to be a good husband.
darkkite23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like seeing how much real life information people save. Almost all of what I have saved are just pictures/gif/photo sets of cats. This is a really good gif of a lion. And this gif always makes me laugh.
SNAPCHAT_ME_TITS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
danny dorito
wmricecream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the best thread of all time ๐๐๐
FutureInPastTense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a story on r/WritingPrompts by u/johanjacobobrien that I found fascinating. The prompt was "A genie just granted you your wish to be able to speak every language and you find that in your brain there is a language which belongs to aliens."
"I ate the babel fish, so to speak. I could converse with any person in the world, but I did not care. It was the extraterrestrial language, the immaculate order of the grammar, the melodic beauty of its sentences, the aesthetic beauty of its symbols that most captivated me.
I would attempt to speak to them. I remember, in my naivety, bellowing what must have sounded like glossolalia into the sky one evening when I was alone in my garden. I wanted an answer. I wanted to know where they were, who they were, what they were doing. My knees collapsed onto the soil, dust ascending, but no answer returned to me except for the silence of the luminous revolving wheel of the night.
It has been years since my vain attempts at communication. I got a job with the CIA because of my capacity for language and carried on with my life, but I never forgot about the alien speech. It took me a long time and much incredulity to realize that although I understood the language, I did not know its medium. For there are times now when I will occasionally see their signs. When I am lazing on the beach, say, there will be an instant when the waves will at one moment in their infinitely varied fluctuations trace into a comprehensible, broken message โ something like, โmust refer to KF483 for news on developments in the nebulaโฆโ Or in the skyline line of a city, there may be a precise point of perspective where my point of view can decipher in the parallax of buildings a greeting to an intellect that is not myself. In the arrangement of flocks of birds, in the ridges and crevices of a mountainside, in a fog rolling upon a street, these messages can be discovered.
A strange sort of innervation possesses me when I spot them. I never quite know what they entirely mean, and most of them appear almost trifling. But there is a terror and a beauty in them nonetheless."
tyotya_grizelda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This cat shitting on another cat. nsfw cat shows dominance
mendeleef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/TheseThornyAoudad
I basically browse reddit looking for places to post that.
DubTheeBustocles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not from Saved but it was a post on Reddit I can't seem to find. Makes me laugh every time: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xlZlgCpkPss
Caelohm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6iifcw/this_is_why_nardwuar_is_the_greatest_interviewer/?st=J4G88092&sh=aa95b245
boredguy456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to Win Monopoly the Tryhard Way
Pavix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This I can't read it though. Every time it makes me cry.
M_Mitchell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6g7jig/men_of_reddit_what_was_the_most_inconvenient/dio6jx8/?context=3
AlbiTheDargon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:52 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
flip it to point up...?
bad_technician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/6point8 's amazing story telling you what happens if you name your kid Streetlamp.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/So_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son_Sterling_Archer._/c2d21qe/
sinisterWraith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
thismanwasamermaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really made me stop in my tracks and think. When I make a mistake I tend to put myself down about it, I never realized I had another option.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/5xg28w/lpt_never_scold_yourself_ever_no_matter_if_you/?st=J4GCCYU9&sh=55aa3f5b
NotBlackAjah7734 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude and Death is a fun read.
stolem from https://www.reddit.com/r/sadcomics/comments/5hfxm2/dude_and_death/
weird_word_moment ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is nothing but a bunch of reposts
buttegg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I can't pick just one, I have four:
Walmart tiramisu man
We Didn't Start The Trash Fire
TickleSeat
17 going on 47
Nintee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is safe from Mr Steal Yo Girl. No one.
sirkraigers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:28 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24syx3/reddit_whats_the_classiest_nsfw_photo_do_you_know/?st=J4GEG1Q0&sh=b6d1692b
rolmega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great thread OP!!
Yggdris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, my favorite gif in the history of gifs.
itsmefreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7 pillars of reddit.
corruptrevolutionary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fan of Maude Garrett
https://gfycat.com/ImmenseFatherlyAegeancat
Wahaya01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The year is 2028 and r/jokes is going strong..
LaVieLaMort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this will get buried but it literally made me laugh so hard. Weenie Dog vs Fidget Spinner
alalal982 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/PwgKd
Cyrino420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Hres93mBs
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is incredible
Crook3d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit, tell me your "glitch in the matrix" stories
This thread is a gold mine of supernatural and paranormal stories. From ghosts and UFOs and past lives to dopplegangers and skinwalkers, and kind kind of fun creepy stuff in between. It spawned the /r/GlitchInTheMatrix subreddit.. though the original thread is a lot more interesting than most of the stories that sub gets these days.
Indigoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://clips.twitch.tv/NastyDarkSheepAsianGlow
or
http://imgur.com/tjVBqHf
mcfuddlebutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much filled with anything from /u/Poem_for_your_sprog
hahaha1009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/DestinyTheGame/comments/6bgt8h/destiny_emblem_wallpapers_the_full_collection_268
Massive Destiny related wallpaper dump.
Julianhyde88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT A WHOLE BUNCH OF PORN, THAT'S FOR SURE!!!
NovemberFSWhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This my porn account, so probably one of my go-to pics or videos.
tdrewk77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out it is for porn. Most creative username I've seen in a while.
Shadow745 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the time being, This: https://streamable.com/qiacg from r/WCGW
salty_sam17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
AlejandroMP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reasons why I support full legalization of drugs.
Ev0lutionz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rock in shoe or chip crumbs in bed
youvejustbeenhacced ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:06 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread
InbredBilly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread, so that I can witness nostalgic moments of reddit when I never had reddit.
johnhang123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW- post from /u/kingeryck Stick two warm damp sponges in a plastic cup or mug that they'll fit pretty tight in. Put a rubber glove in between them. Roll the glove opening over the top of the mug. Lube it up. Fuck it. Toss the glove out.
kingeryck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:11:55 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed that someone remembers me.
johnhang123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyye, the advice is in good use :D
rrollie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but ok.
The story of u/BisFitty who thinks it's funny to dress up for a workparty.
BisFitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:59:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the way you put that, lol
rrollie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:49 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only love for you my man!
phillllllyyyyyy666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From "if parrots had arms" I could not stop laughing https://i.redd.it/7ggma1b0i2yy.gif
El_Quetzal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An IAma of a a former Disneyland cast member who was Alice in Wonderland
KARMAGEDDON416 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:32 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This clip of someone blowing smoke into a soap bubble
MineWiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:27 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This recent (at the time of my comment) thread from r/askreddit which is basically a collection of parental wisdom which I've found extremely enlightening.
kairon156 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:50 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through allot of my saves and I think this one is one of the better ones.
It's a girl talking about how after reading the comments than talking to her BF that she is "sorry you guys aren't complimented enough."
Here Is another one. Although I'm just a single male I think it's sweet to hear about the father daughter relationships.
Alixstar11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:51 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3oqj4a/which_song_is_most_improved_when_all_occurrences/
I found the thread on TV Tropes a while back and couldn't stop laughing.
ThePunkHippie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:41 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U/bonercollexor in "your username: the musical" posted a fantastic rendition of Part Of Your World
Look at his junk, isnt it neat? So many different meats to be beat
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who's had, everything
I've got growers and show-ers aplenty Yes I know that you think I'm a whore
You want thirteen inch ones? I've got twenty!
But who cares? No big deal. I crave MORE!
I'm ready to go where I shouldn't go A hot beef injection, maybe a threesome?
Try not to choke on that, whaddaya call it? Skeet
When's it my turn? I want to know Know what it's like to be filled down below!
Come and take me
I want to see
What's in your drawers!
(I'm quite proud of this!)
ralphnathanielace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:47 on July 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this thread
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:17 on July 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have watched this over 100 times. Still cracks me up. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DV_3qx-oBms
dnmthrowaway16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:45 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zmme1/z/cfv8o5x
A teenage boy and his girlfriend. They are happy and very in love, but tragedy strikes; the boy gets drunk at a party, drives home with her, gets in an accident, and she is killed. He feels horrible, naturally.
But the girl isn't gone; she returns to the world as a ghost, not willing to pass on and be without her love. Unfortunately, he can neither see or hear her. She can whisper things in his ear and be perceived subconsciously, move small objects when he isn't looking, but never make her presence really known.
For a while she is content to simply follow him around and comfort him as best she can. It even seems she may be having a positive effect; she is able to subtly influence him to quit drinking, clean up his act, and turn his life around. All seems well in a bittersweet way.
Things start to change as time passes. The boy gets older, the ghost does not. He starts to move past her death, no longer gazing longingly at the pictures of them together, not visiting her grave as much. While the ghost wants to see him happy, she is miserable that she is being forgotten, as she is unchanging and still feels love for him.
A few years pass, and the now young adult man starts dating other women. The ghost is upset and jealous. She starts to sabotage his dates, causing little accidents, using her ability to be subconsciously heard to make him say awkward things, basically being a bitch and ruining the young man's relationships.
Unable to find happiness, the young man begins to backslide. He starts drinking again, he gets in fights, he loses his job. His life is turning to shit. Ghost girl feels terrible...until one night the man takes too many sleeping pills and almost dies. A horrible plan occurs to her; if he commits suicide then he'll be dead too and they can finally be together.
She starts to egg him on to more and more self-destructive acts, whispering poisonous thoughts in his ear, trying to make him hate himself. He shuts out family and friends. He buys a gun and doesn't really know why. The girl hates to do this, but it's the only way...
Throughout the film, we've seen other people haunted by ghosts. At first this seems harmless; there's a man whose father still follows him and gives advice. A mother who lost her daughter, but the girl still walks around holding her hand. The spirit of a young boy's dog still romps behind him. These ghosts can see each other, and are the typical Pixar cast of quirky side characters.
At last the young man seems to hit rock bottom and is ready to end it all. Not wanting to watch her love die, the ghost departs to leave him to it. She heads to the park, and sees some of the other people with ghosts. But now she notices things she hasn't before. The ghostly father's advice, always critical, seems downright abusive, constantly berating his son for his failure and inadequacy, and the son looks miserable. The little girl's mother can't look at a child playing without tearing up. The ghost dog is gone, however, and the now older boy has a new pet and is happy. The girl realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
She rushes back to the man, who is moments away from shooting himself. She begs him not to go through with it, pleads and cries, but is unheard. Eventually she is just barely able to direct his attention to the neglected photos of them together as happy teenagers and he puts the gun down, picks up the phone, and calls a suicide hotline.
Man enters therapy, joins a group to quit drinking again, takes medication. It's long and hard but he makes it. The girl is happy, but she seems to be fading slowly as the months pass. She thinks she might be finally letting go and crossing over, her reward for having saved him. Eventually she departs with a smile.
Twist ending: there was no ghost. That was his guilt and depression personified. It was always his own subconscious, the part of him that hated and blamed himself for the girl's death. Sure, the guilt drove him to quit drinking once, but the fact that he couldn't move on drove him into ever deeper despair. All the people with "ghosts" are the same way, haunted by their pasts. Last shot is him walking down the street, content, but as we zoom out we see just how many of the people around him have ghosts, and how widespread the problem is.
ArthursPoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:18 on August 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A one line joke.
"What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing."
matisseblue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:56 on August 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 2011 Pun of the Year. Still makes me snort every time I read it
jay-d123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:50 on September 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread!
imbalancedMortician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:12 on September 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The classic hospital WTF story by /u/banzaipanda. Can be read here.
Bambam_D2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:12 on September 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late, but I propose this funny gif of dudes trying to remove their pants in front of thousands of people.
roonjeremy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:18 on October 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J8AR4ATA&sh=75209974
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:23:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFL
Sometimes when I want a moral boost I look at this picture and it just makes me smile, shitgrin and LMAO.
Kelethe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the word you're looking for is "morale" rather than "moral. Though I suppose if you have a system of morals based on schadenfreude you could have meant what you wrote.
FluffyGuy2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:42:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This spinning kid - in reverse
Icarus_Is_Falling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dark, beautiful version of red riding hood
http://imgur.com/a/BWvle
apeschwartz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing!
Awake00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't find the thread but it was from /r/ContagiousLaughter and its probably the funniest thing I've seen all year: https://youtu.be/m_4XY1nNzFA
blatantdisregard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ultimate porn subreddit list. Edit: never mind. Looks like several people already beat me to it.
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
Beardedcow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't judge http://i.imgur.com/sPJBp4n.gifv [NSFW]
QcJ-M ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this dog...
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like itโs a peach of cake.
AngelaOverThere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:22:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I hate you.
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just let it pass like water under the fridge.
SweaterZach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also choose that guy's dead wife.
lucrativetoiletsale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My reddit favorite
poonSehTggoD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:59:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://np.reddit.com/r/starterpacks/comments/5n0uvz/edgy_15_yo_profile_picture_starter_pack/dc8hb3z/?context=3
AlneCraft ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAojxWZRVKk
capslox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://media.giphy.com/media/3oKIPCzOgkCcdDt3NK/giphy.gif
From r/meow_irl.
BlueDragonGirl_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/jjw6yuo1pz7y.png
Do you see a clown?
I don't know why. It's just so damn funny to me.
turplan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From /u/Skrad on an askreddit thread titled What opinion do you hold that you won't be swayed from?
"Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.
This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet."
GolfTripAnimal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:04:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/rSnA8.png
Lachwen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bot-generated memes.
EdRecde ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U/TupperWolf
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Frosty_TSM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always loved this story
Jevin1983 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:44:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Original post by samuraitiger19 "Calvin? Calvin, sweetheart?" In the darkness Calvin heard the sound of Susie, his wife of fifty-three years. Calvin struggled to open his eyes. God, he was so tired and it took so much strength. Slowly, light replaced the darkness, and soon vision followed. At the foot of his bed stood his wife. Calvin wet his dry lips and spoke hoarsely, "Did... did you.... find him?" "Yes dear," Susie said smiling sadly, "He was in the attic." Susie reached into her big purse and brought out a soft, old, orange tiger doll. Calvin could not help but laugh. It had been so long. Too long. "I washed him for you," Susie said, her voice cracking a little as she laid the stuffed tiger next to her husband. "Thank you, Susie." Calvin said. A few moments passed as Calvin just laid on his hospital bed, his head turned to the side, staring at the old toy with nostalgia. "Dear," Calvin said finally. "Would you mind leaving me alone with Hobbes for a while? I would like to catch up with him." "All right," Susie said. "I'll get something to eat in the cafeteria. I'll be back soon." Susie kissed her huband on the forehead and turned to leave. With sudden but gentle strength Calvin stopped her. Lovingly he pulled his wife in and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. "I love you," he said. "And I love you," said Susie. Susie turned and left. Calvin saw tears streaming from her face as she went out the door. Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. "Hello Hobbes. It's been a long time hasn't it old pal?" Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered. "It sure has, Calvin." said Hobbes. "You... haven't changed a bit." Calvin smiled. "You've changed a lot." Hobbes said sadly. Calvin laughed, "Really? I haven't noticed at all." There was a long pause. The sound of a clock ticking away the seconds rang throughout the sterile hospital room. "So... you married Susie Derkins." Hobbes said, finally smiling. "I knew you always like her." "Shut up!" Calvin said, his smile bigger than ever. "Tell me everything I missed. I'd love to hear what you've been up to!" Hobbes said, excited. And so Calvin told him everything. He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grandkids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on. After he told Hobbes all this there was another pregnant pause. "You know... I visited you in the attic a bunch of times." Calvin said. "I know." "But I couldn't see you. All I saw was a stuffed animal." Calvin voice was breaking and tears of regret started welling up in his eyes. "You grew up old buddy." said Hobbes. Calvin broke down and sobbed, hugging his best friend. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry I broke my promise! I promised I wouldn't grow up and that we'd be together forever!!" Hobbes stroke the Calvin's hair, or what little was left of it. "But you didn't." "What do you mean?" "We were always together... in our dreams." "We were?" "We were." "Hobbes?" "Yeah, old buddy?" "I'm so glad I got to see you like this... one last time..." "Me too, Calvin. Me too." "Sweetheart?" Susie voice came from outside the door. "Yes dear?" Calvin replied. "Can I come in?" Susie asked. "Just a minute." Calvin turned to face Hobbes one last time. "Goodbye Hobbes. Thanks... for everything..." "No, thank you Calvin." Hobbes said. Calvin turned back to the door and said, "You can come in now." Susie came in and said, "Look who's come to visit you." Calvin's children and grandchildren followed Susie into Calvin's room. The youngest grandchild ran past the rest of them and hugged Calvin in a hard, excited hug. "Grandpa!!" screamed the child in delight. "Francis!" cried Calvin's daughter, "Be gentle with your grandfather." Calvin's daughter turned to her dad. "I'm sorry, Daddy. Francis never seems to behave these days. He just runs around making a mess and coming up with strange stories." Calvin laughed and said, "Well now! That sound just like me when I was his age." Calvin and his family chatted some more until a nurse said, "Sorry, but visiting hours are almost up." Calvin's beloved family said good bye and promised to visit tommorrow. As they turned to leave Calvin said, "Francis. Come here for a second." Francis came over to his grandfather's side, "What is it Gramps?" Calvin reached over to the stuffed tiger on his bedside and and held him out shakily to his grandson, who looked exactly as he did so many years ago. "This is Hobbes. He was my best friend when I was your age. I want you to have him." "He's just a stuffed tiger." Francis said, eyebrows raised. Calvin laughed, "Well, let me tell you a secret." Francis leaned closer to Clavin. Calvin whispered, "If you catch him in a tiger trap using a tuna sandwich as bait he will turn into a real tiger." Francis gasped in delighted awe. Calvin continued, "Not only that he will be your best friend forever." "Wow! Thanks grandpa!" Francis said, hugging his grandpa tightly again. "Francis! We need to go now!" Calvin's daughter called. "Okay!" Francis shouted back. "Take good care of him." Calvin said. "I will." Francis said before running off after the rest of the family. Calvin laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. The time to go was close. He could feel it in his soul. Calvin tried to remember a quote he read in a book once. It said something about death being the next great adventure or something like that. He eyelids grew heavy and his breathing slowed. As he went deeper into his final sleep he heard Hobbes, as if he was right next to him at his bedside. "I'll take care of him, Calvin..." Calvin took his first step toward one more adventure and breathed his last with a grin on his face.
EDIT: Wow... just wow... I am speechless here guys. I did not expect such a reaction to my story or prompt. I am not worthy of your praise or your gold. I am truly humbled. Thanks so much! I'm truly glad so my story touched so many people.
HopalikaX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And im choked up at my desk...
Marquez_von_Hinten ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:57:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW but always gives me a good laugh http://m.imgur.com/a/w0HJP#0
MataMeow ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf is that on the end of it
makegr666 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:43:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is 8 weird
Captainmorphine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:26:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That first one can't be real
godmodedio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:47:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few of those are hardcore cases of phimosis.
A few of them just plain make me feel better about myself.
Pickselated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4chan makes dick jokes
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
Made me a very happy camper!
ProtoMonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I often find this to be soothing. It also reminds me to keep things in perspective.
DalekZed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dark Souls much?
DickinessMaximus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still look at the fappening leaks every once in a while
Manabaeterno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just checked. The TIFU of someone throwing a steak out of the window.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots and looots of my favorite porn clips throughout the years.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the United States looked before EPA -- https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/6emks9/how_the_united_states_looked_before_the_epa
MysticMac100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/LmQtXa7.png
AlfaKenneyOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/r/aww/ghJ9fTs
Never fails to make my day better.
PornChampion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/fnjt69ecalky.gif
fabulousburritos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+thick+hardbodies+passionx+bondage+womenofcolor+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+hugeboobs+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+asslick+blondes+beefflaps+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+darkangels+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+nsfw_gifs+adultgifs+XXX_Animated_Gifs+AsianHottiesGIFS+Hot_Women_Gifs+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+serafuku+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+chixxx_gifs+ecchi+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+hentai+hentai_gif+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+yuri+sukebei+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+60fpsporn+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+Tgirls+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+pantsu+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
You're welcome
SunDirty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy demonstrating the many different kinds of walking
https://i.imgur.com/meSMig7.gifv
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its all futa/shemale porn, how do i pick a favourite?
Binibat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna hook a brother up with some links?
PM_ME_HOT_YURI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/futanari/comments/6btkds/mercy_tracer_getting_fucked_by_symmetra_zarya_nyl/
this ones pretty good. NSFW obviously
Binibat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my man
RetroGameNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.
Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend
Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.
In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?"
HannaLynnRose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/sexycyborg Pi palette
Edit: links
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I've been. There are a myriad of other issues that were the result of catching a parasite in a river, going into hypovolemic shock, etc. I was in a coma for a while. You don't want this to happen to you in America. It only leads to financial ruin. My family and friends all know about the hospital part (well, not the financials...to be honest, I can't even remember what my tab is up to now without looking, because when your gut is fucked up, so is your immune system, so I've been back in the hospital a few times since, fighting not to lose limbs from infections that started as tiny scratches that water and bacteria got into, and my body said, nope). Also now I am on a permanent prescribed soft and bland diet, meaning no peppers, tomatoes, alcohol, chocolate, citrus, or caffeine. I cheat that with marijuana, otherwise I'm like the thing from fantastic four, except instead of clobbering time, it's vomiting time. They don't know that when I fall asleep, I wake up every day thinking it is July 2014. I was able to fake it well enough to continue to practice law for 6 months. I have a huge capacity for learning and information, so I have detailed notes about most days of my life since then. I can peruse them as needed to try to keep up, but eventually it became just too much. There is likely an incredible book in there somewhere, as I basically said fuck it, if I'm dying, first I'm going to do some living, so I made a bunch of marijuana tincture, put it in travel shampoo bottles from Walmart, tossed them in my carry on bag, and have taken it all over Europe, America, and even though the Middle East. Documented every step of the way, through a journal and photos. I'll go back to the doctor at some point. My doctor who knew all retired, and I am just so distrusting of doctors now, since this whole thing is their fault (sent home from the ER with bad instructions that would have killed me if I'd listened to the ER doctor, just barely saved my own life by not). I know I'm fucked, and medically disabled at this point, so I'll let a lawyer friend fight that fight for me. I've been in Netherlands for 2 months cycling and camping, just to see if my body still could do it, and so I can eat some real fucking food. I may very well die tomorrow, but I will sure as fuck live today. I wish I knew of a good publishing agent because when you don't fear death, you'll do stupidshit like smoke opium with a random match from tinder you pull during a 38 hour layover in Istanbul. I just say yes I shit because if I fuck up, tomorrow in my mind, when I wake up, it never happened. Tldr sorry for the wall of text
PingTheAwesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What thread was that on?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I didn't take the time to link because I presumed no one would see it, https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6hu6wy/serious_what_is_something_that_you_wont_tell/
theredbirdchase ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Budgie Ball Balance http://i.imgur.com/iGfz6El.gifv
newtickled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/ponX75S
This keeps me grounded
AttackOnTARDIS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one cracks me up every time
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YourTechSupport ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/comments/3x8rpd/call_me_an_asshole_if_you_wish/cy2wwb4/
We had a strip of public property between our house and the road. It was constantly being used by people to make u turns. I was responsible for mowing the grass there, and people would be driving through it at all hours of the night turning around on our two lane road for u turns. Thing was, about 4 feet of it was "public" land or city property, the rest of it was my property. People would drive down this little dimple of land and get stuck when it rained or snowed and proceed to mulch up the ground with ruts trying to get unstuck. I got sick of it so I stopped cutting the grass so people would stop driving though it to use as a turn around spot. They persisted, sometimes they would knock on the door in the middle of the night and ask for help getting unstuck out of the mud pit that formed when people got stuck. Eventually the grass by the road was about 4 feet tall, I took some lengths of rebar and staked it into the ground so that it stuck up about 3 feet but was concealed by the grass. People would go boggin through the grass to turn around and scrap the shit out of their cars from the rebar. I had a dozen angry knocks on my door about who in their right mind would stick rebar in that long grass over there. I always acted confused like, oh no that is terrible but I don't know who did it. Why where you driving through the yard though? I was pretty satisfied, even though literally hundreds of people that summer scraped the holy living shit out of their bumpers and underneath their cars because they insisted on tearing through the grass patch in front of my house to turn around.
mudkipdr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://redditp.com/r/nsfw+gonewild+boobies+legalteens+realgirls+ass+amateur+ginger+nsfw2+voluptuous+milf+celebs+redheads+girlswithglasses+collegesluts+blowjobs+passionx+bondage+scenegirls+girlskissing+upskirt+dirtysmall+girlsinyogapants+hotchickswithtattoos+nsfw_wallpapers+nipples+asianhotties+o_faces+beach+snowgirls+gloryhole+highheels+cumshot+thighhighs+volleyballgirls+blondes+pigtails+latinas+pinkshoes+tanlines+brickhouse+panties+gothsluts+pornstars+smokin+buttsex+cleavage+mandingo+cumfetish+models+pics_nsfw+analporn+datass+ass_cleavage+bikinibridge+girlsflashing+orgasms+nsfwoutfits+lingerie+PetiteGoneWild+funsized+xsmallgirls+GWNerdy+jilling+rule34+asstastic+facedownassup+BubbleButts+videogamebabes+videogamebabes+cumsluts+GirlsFinishingTheJob+Annoyedtobenude+braceface+cfnf+femalepov+forcedorgasms+gingerpuss+girlsplayingsports+fuxtaposition+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+PublicFlashing+shewantstofuck+StealthVibes+TinyTits+Unashamed+Bottomless_Vixens+boyshorts+camwhores+CollegeAmateurs+creampies+datgap+datgrip+FestivalSluts+Fingering+FTVgirls+happygaps+LaundryDay+LipsThatGrip+NotSafeForNature+NSFW_nospam+pokies+primes+pussy+realbikinis+skinnytail+skivvies+TightShorts+treatemright+undies+WtSSTaDaMiT+xart+YogaPants+AmateurArchives+anal+asshole+boltedontits+burstingout+tits+bustypetite+celebnsfw+changingrooms+gwcouples+iwanttofuckher+lesbians+nobsnsfw+onoff+porn+randomsexiness+fuckyeahsexyteens+JiggleFuck+AsiansGoneWild+holdthemoan+WatchItForThePlot+CandidFashionPolice+GoneMild+tightdresses+BigBoobsGW+workgonewild+fitgirls+altgonewild+porninfifteenseconds+wifesharing+nsfwhardcore+palegirls+TittyDrop+juicyasians+suicidegirls+kpopfap+lesbian_pov+MoxiiAndFriends+SoFuckable+Cumonin+trashyboners+slutsbedrunk+russiangirls+SexiestPetites+snapchat_sluts+cosplaygirls+CosplayBoobs+SocialMediaSluts+sheerpanties
LordMandalor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a little bit off the markโyou're actually describing an inversion of the gendered roles here (i.e. the woman is an active contributor while the man is a passive recipient or responder). While a man will appreciate such a gesture, it's not quite what composes the male romantic fantasy (more on this later).
Men who aren't used to being pursued are usually confused or thrown off by the reversal of gendered roles. The result is the prevailing idea that men do not respond well to being approached first by women or even the autobiographical accounts from men describing instances where they couldn't respond well even if they were attracted to the woman approaching them. This is the men being shocked out of the traditional "script" of romance.
Secondly, when you talk about women pursuing men, that usually happens in a markedly different fashion than the way in which men pursue women (hint: it's more passive). A woman "aggressively" pursuing a man looks more like said woman going to extensive lengths to make it clear that she is available for pursuit rather than actively pursuing; the man is still usually leading things forward in some manner by handling the logistics of this romance. This is where you get those autobiographical stories from men about missing signals; "aggressive" pursuit from women is (usually) a set of passive signals that are clear to men who are experienced, but unclear to men not used to being "pursued."
I do too. I talk with a homosexual friend about stuff like this a lot, maybe I'll bring it up next time I see him.
The Male Romantic Fantasy
I'd say that men usually feel most loved when this normal state of affairs is negated; when they are made to believe that a woman's love is not conditional in the cause-and-effect manner described in the parent post. Love is work for men, but it can be rewarding work when things are going smoothly and the woman is happy as a result. But the male romantic fantasy is to be shown that the woman feels the same way and stands by him when he's down on his luck, when the money's not there, or when he's not feeling confident. He wants to know that the love he believes he's earned will stay even when the actions that feed it wane (however temporarily). A good woman can often lift a man up in his times of need and desperation and weather the storm even when things aren't going well. The male romantic fantasy is an enduring and unconditional love that seems to defy this relationship of labor and reward. A man wants to be loved for who he is, not for what he does in order to be loved.
An interesting way to examine this is to look at what women often call romantic entitlement. An entitled guy is a dude who maintains an unrealistic notion of men's typically active role in love. Before acknowledging reality, this boy uncompromisingly believes that he shouldn't have to do anything or change anything about himself to earn a woman's love; he wants to be loved for who he is, not what he does.
All men secretly want this, but there comes a day when they eventually compromise out of necessity. After that day, they may spend years honing themselves, working, shaping themselves into the men they believe women want to be chosen by. A massive part of what causes boys to "grow up" is the realization that being loved requires hard work. This impetus begins a journey where a boy grows into a man by gaining strength, knowledge, resources, and wisdom. The harsh realities of the world might harden and change him into a person his boyhood self wouldn't recognize. He might adopt viewpoints he doesn't agree with, transgress his personal boundaries, or commit acts he previously thought himself incapable of. But ultimately, the goal is to feel as if his work is done.
When he can finally let go of the crank he continually turns day after day in order to earn love and, even if only for a moment, it turns by itself to nourish him in return, that is when he will know he is loved.
The Male Romantic Fantasy
The original question of Why romance books are targeted at women was a point of curiosity, but then his answer and explanation just hit home. Not matter how much people want equality of the genders, there is just too much of a bias. Girls get to be picky, guys have to buy the drink. If a guy never makes the first move, takes her on a date, but a ring and get on his knee, chances are those things will never happen. The ideal for any guy with his shit together is to let the crank turn itself, if only for a little bit.
tamadekami ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This right here.
slythia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid. http://i.imgur.com/j1ojdOo.gifv
the_notorious_biggD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can save reddit posts
AbeardedDORK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY FUCK YOU CAN SAVE POSTS!?!?
nutter01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:31:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A massive comment containing every instance of violence and incitement of hatred in the Quran
Doove ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:37:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can fit an entire book in a reddit comment?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daisy_s ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:53:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
""2. List of videos proving CNN is fake news""
I dont understand this. 24 hour news cycle outlets are entertainment media companies. All of them. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, Breitbart, Huffpost...
They are businesses who's model is providing "news" as a source of entertainment and ad revenue. Everyone knows this. Everyone has known this. They have to pump out little kernels of news surrounded by large clouds of confetti and glitter (aka bull shit) to keep people watching. So people see their fucking ads. So they can make money $$$.
This is how capitalism works dude. We all learn this in 8th grade.
Do you keep lists of videos proving that Adventure Time is a cartoon? Wtf the dude?
MadManatee619 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between Adventure Time and news outlets like CNN, is people will quote CNN and take what they say as fact without fact checking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too busy watching Samurai Jack
Daisy_s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know all those red pills you've been taking?
Read the label bud because those ain't suppositories.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im sorry, now i'm watching the veritas video, cucko.
Daisy_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving the best for last I see. Brilliant!
Hey man, just do what what comes natural.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:57:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be one of those nicer liberals, you haven't called me names, or threatened me with implied violence.
mattstreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, I forgot we're all extremely violent cuck snowflakes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:04:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats projection sweetie. but you have shown black or white thinking.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the new spin.
right......
Daisy_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New spin same as old spin.
It's 2017 bro.
We figured this out 30 years ago.
Welcome to the Thunderdomeยฎ
gumbii87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a copy of #1? I love using the numbers to crush the anti-gun BS
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/guns/wiki/faq
scroll to MISC....
gumbii87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very nice. Thank you
yaavsp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now this thread is.
How, in 25 years, have I seen none of the tops posts!?
Antitheistic10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/664dzn/what_makes_you_cry_everytime/dgfmssm/
ctrexrhino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This AskReddit thread
Lazorkiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
S103793 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I don't have it saved but I wish I did so hopefully someone has it. Well it's a post on how op teaches kid how to hack off cuz his parent are strict af and he never learn anything sexual
iignorantam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black metal spinner
https://www.reddit.com/r/MetalMemes/comments/6jgyi2/spvnnvr
CUDesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've probably got some good stuff in there but I've saved so many with the idea that I can find them again later that now I don't even remember what I saved in the first place.
titsforjustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This: https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/1r7pke/my_favourite_gifs_this_year_enjoy/?st=J4FHJJWO&sh=27fe160c
So many funny gifs and great reaction gifs that I still use in texts today.
Water_Meat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://salmonofcapistrano.com/
I don't know how it got in my saved section and always forget until I'm looking for something else in there and see it.
Gypzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyfoodporn/comments/2kd7v2/microwaved_winegums_with_defrosted_spinach_and/ the comments kill me
IAmSomewhatHappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture
Taladen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this to find more interesting saved items soon.
TheSandfordCitizen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingBros/comments/6azwhq/a_very_courteous_shoebill_stork/?st=J4FI1UE4&sh=90cd7dcc
Can't believe these things exist...
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this post, but it's mostly the reply to it..
The Arkell v Pressdram post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xDeltoZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/BollywoodRealism
Keswiik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment where someone takes the Navy Seal copypasta and makes makes it into weeb-speak.
ComradeRoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on down to /r/anime, where this shit comes up probably once a month. Remember to bring a cell phone so you can call the police when you need to.
Keswiik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I browse /r/anime regularly.
DPSOnly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was looking through my 'saved' section and found this. It is exactly what I've been thinking over the last few days.
TenuredBee97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a thread where a guy wishes cancer on Caillou out loud to his coworkers
namegirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wear headphones and be transported to Munich, Germany via 3D sound
Liskarialeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love owls <3
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/6hfxxd/petey_a_pygmy_owl_finally_found_his_perfect_glove/
Also, 1895: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6ch26r/what_would_be_a_typical_askreddit_question_from/
Laughed all the way through
ZoroDPirateHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/5xtff1/piano_practice/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=0368923d
This is so nice because I often have to put up soundproofing in my apartment so people next to me don't complain about my playing. :P
worldwidewombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mass Effect 3 ending thread. I'd like to think I contributed a little to the healing process.
ThreeBrokenArms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Murica
Another_dollar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This hilarious troll kid, such sass
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/5ulo8p/trolled_by_tiny_human/?st=J4FIYASA&sh=e5b5c40d
Racing2733 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who's attracted to beds:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/68l83g/serious_what_secret_could_ruin_your_life/dgzhlhq/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
A_Benched_Clown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a "saved" section
ChefBoyAreWeFucked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ7C0mPuwmE](NSFW)
thatdani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story about Olga of Kiev's absolutely brutal revenge on those who killed her husband/the king.
FusRoeDah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this handy gadget
Ethanlac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking magnets.
FrenchFriday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
FizzHA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This , it's the probably the cutest thing I've seen on reddit.
TheWardVG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but I find this absolutely hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywB9huSiPOI
IdlePhononautica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This list of best things
poopellar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What Askreddit threads did you save because you thought they could be useful later?
nxvacaiine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have cute animal gifs saved for when I'm sad.
dontmindjustbrowsing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite ask reddit thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4j7nbb/whats_the_dumbest_thing_youve_ever_done_while_high/?ref=share&ref_source=link
BrooNets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/5k27z0/got_and_xanned_out_and_drank_three_bottles_of_my/?st=J4FJIKBL&sh=41c8e86d
More details to the story which made me laugh. But gross but hey
HALBowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf are bars? Like he ate some rap lines and got high? Shit must be fire!
BrooNets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xanax bars. Mix with alcohol at your peril
HALBowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i got the xanax part. Thought they were pills though
BrooNets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know I've just never heard people call them pills despite it basically looking like a pill
Mix1009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my favorite saved article. It's linking tons of completely random things to check out.
Mellowjoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one. I always go back to it for a good laugh.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zsw6n/what_is_your_best_yo_mama_joke
harrietford99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/6f6k70/this_high_jumper_can_float_over_hurdles/ This is godly
-eagle73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Efficient way to change sheets.
I have yet to use this.
HALBowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait, is that a sheet for the blanket?
ObsidianG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DerpyPotater 176 points 1 year ago
Sorry for being so far out of the loop (haven't done, read, or watched amything mc related for a year or two)
But what in the flying fuck is that conglomeration of unholy hell spawn behind you.
G19Gen3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/youdontsurf/comments/5uyktb/cant_blame_yourselves_forever/?st=J4FJQROV&sh=fd622ce1
acdc787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://dm.reddit.com/r/space/comments/5qkole/s5_001481_the_largest_known_supermassive_black/dd08su3/
Basically, measuring the larges black hole in current existence with Shaquille O'Neals.
Also, /u/DoubleDickDude's AMA. Yes, it is what you think it is.
CJ_Guns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been saving things for seven years and have yet to check my 'Saved' section. There must literally be thousands of links and comments.
"Oh, I'll probably need to remember or reference this at some point in the future. *click*" Every single time.
Takesis_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This awesome Humanity, Fuck Yeah! story.
Take care captain!
dakak36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Walton's worldwide ejaculation
kinenin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mystery goo
Shonucic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/48x3ju/z/d0nbz84
"...no matter how large a family you build, when your parents die, you still feel like an orphan in the world."
Andyrhyw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I save far too much stuff either because I think it is cool or I want to show people at a later date, but then lots never gets purged, so beyond the first page or so, I can't find or remember specifics
CatManDontDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a great 4chan screen grab where a guy details his experience as a child spray shitting on the Charlotte Hornets mascot.
xiofar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The saved section should have folders so that I can categorize what I'm saving.
brosenfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That feature is available for those with Reddit Gold
xiofar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even knew I had that option when I had gold.
KnittyPitity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/asa0 No idea why, i just like it a lot.
hzlaugher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby animals playing together โค๏ธ
MrShockz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
ohyourgodz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/whitepeoplegifs/comments/6aqods/elevator_use/dhgy13b ...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
josiahgore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:39:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/contagiouslaughter
AnimeAndComputers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only difference between you and a dog is that you get in trouble when you lick your genitals in public.
ExistentialAllegory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know how to access "saved"
Lockski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Flyers/comments/5b7q4p/shitpost_philadelphia_flyers_players_as_various/
It's the only time I've been credited with doing something creative while on reddit publicly. I'm really happy with that.
nogamer415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/5yx1bg/we_smokin_beer/
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second reply to the top comment on this thread:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/52h1h8/whats_the_most_common_mistake_people_make_when/d7kyny9/
Which only makes you laugh once you've read the long ass top comment.
HotelHarambe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best insult thread: "You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you sure better hope he doesn't die"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5big6j/comment/d9p590g
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When the guy pulled the chair away from Michael Chandler. I'm still mad he lost though
https://www.reddit.com/r/MMA/comments/6jcb8j/spoiler_fighter_tries_to_sit_on_nonexistent_stool/
manifes7o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thread I ever saved. A real knee-slapper.
SpawnOfPhlick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/VvTdcji.gifv
This is probably just one of my favorite things ever in general.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/ui2tWZd.gifv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A story abouut some birthday boy who walked on a surprise bday party while stroking his cock and then jamming his schlong in a zipper
sixxtears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5cu5m0/wwe_class_flip/?st=J4FKGCGI&sh=a1c0f8d3
goldenretrievers18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
business birb!
invincible_vince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.recommendmeabook.com
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For when I win the lottery that I don't play...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_won_a_656_million_dollar_lottery_what_do/chba4bf
poopf4rt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I need to have a picture on Imgur or something to comment it?
puzzlinggamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The horror
anonymoustravis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
SteamMau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://media.giphy.com/media/l4FGl83Ief1etu1S8/giphy.gif
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pornhub
algrenon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/notinteresting/comments/68yl06/felt_something_in_my_shoe_and_found_this_bad_boy/?st=J4FKJZIX&sh=3ff79a84
MyAccountDied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonnie vs Donald Trump
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I die laughing every single time I see this.
http://imgur.com/4jYNvbP
momo1757 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we talk about the lack of a search option or filter for your saved section? I'd like a filter so I can see all of the posts from a specific sub reddit, instead of all at the same time.
ArrozandPollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this saved for some reason
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2px5ai/whats_your_favorite_thing_you_have_in_your_saved
RGodlike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From now on, it's this thread. This is amazing.
Malak77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd tell you but I have no idea how to access my saved posts with the new profile format. :-(
DatZwiebel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every Noise at once, a chart about all music genres that exist
mafleto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first reaction to this post was, "oh I'll save this post for later so I can read through everything."
iamvqb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hentai :3
interwebbed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all ma pronz
fillhumpfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.neowin.net/news/a-creepy-website-is-streaming-from-73000-cameras-some-in-the-bedroom
XxZITRONxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif from /r/reactiongifs kills me every time it pops out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
self improvement guide : https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/31jhbr/ive_been_on_reddit_for_2_years_heres_a_tldr_of/?st=J4FKQE8T&sh=7d9c1af2
rftaylor26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif of a guy playing with lions.
I love lions.
crazzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/jclvmavd29dy.png So funny because if you played dark souls you had that same look at least once lol
tom641 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never know because if you save lots of things it becomes utterly useless. without gold, of course
My favorite thing is that it's flooded with porn I guess
jamz_fm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From r/oldpeoplefacebook: That lasagna looks crisp
dreadder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this thread
PM_ME_YOUR_BALROG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This cat.
BarbDwyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This old tiger toy from feudal Japan
KarlMarksman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Banana Boys - http://i.imgur.com/D9XdHlS.gifv
pixielf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat chasing a ping pong ball
LegoLazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of today, this post
Azozel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are too many to choose a favorite so I picked one at random
PM_ME_YOUR_SMlLE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I save things then never look at them again.
XgsopX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif is great in so many ways
https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/68afxo/tips_furdora/?st=J4FKUNM0&sh=1f0c0583
Zerphses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little late to the party but this. One of the few videos that makes me laugh every time I see it. I replay it like 20 times every time.
Unusualmann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/62sx76/i_am_dr_chuck_tingle_greatest_author_in_the_world/ [NSFW]
Chuck Tingle, the greatest author in the world. It's real. You can buy his books.
Setepenseth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Credit /u/Tangent_
shakkajon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/iDdLj8A
Shep_the_lep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MRW I'm about to answer an easy question but my mind suddenly goes blank.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ConfusedTravolta/comments/3u7uf0/mrw_im_about_to_answer_an_easy_question_but_my/ http://i.imgur.com/8SdKZmH.gifv
Spyrakis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post about people's deepest darkesr secrets. It goes on and on. Great for binge-reading!
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5qqkju/what_is_your_darkest_secret_which_you_have_never/?st=J4FKVI4L&sh=c4c4906b
sweaty_manlet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about a Russian missile.
montyberns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW, but kinda safe for work
KHTDR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man caught secretly being a fan.
GoalieJohnK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
DrMcNards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to save the greatest Reddit posts, like 'What's a potato', 'How to hide a boner (Urgent)', 'Cumbox', and others like that. Also that Japanese Rube Goldberg machine was hilarious.
bumbo2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna have to give it to Streetlamp Le Moose
ass_smacktivist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ถShitter, ice chest, bbq shitter๐ถ
3:30 for the song. Watch out ladies.
thicknheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lake City Quiet Pills
Therearenopeas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/educationalgifs/comments/62negm/how_to_draw_a_celtic_knot/?st=J4FKX0IV&sh=cb957607
But also
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4sqt10/im_a_bat/?st=J4FL0JGJ&sh=4e2e8814
Fillipuster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/a/4f3XB
Sixstring_sixshooter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone has that ONE drunk friend
cmeilleur1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/w3SIQlw.gif This has me in stitches every time.
qwerty11111122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies: length or girth?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5hwmco/comment/db3r3w3?st=J4FKXUH0&sh=5b36ca29
Vorginia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, many to choose from, but I'll go with this one
adamskij ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Summer lovin
ArrozandPollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5e0lco/z/da8z0gg this is perfect with 4th of July right around the corner
Vinct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
atm153 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recursive Batman.
mel_pond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To quote /u/MadamNixie:
Fascist_Regime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know you could save shit, and I've been on here for years lol.
kick150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alexia are you okay?Gets me 90% of the time, every time
FrozenRS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/L0Je5On That lions can jump 36 feet
ArmedNumber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
_Donzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a classic
buttcrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the naked women.
schoenen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saved section?!
MrTopHatMan90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is just one shitty mess
AFlyingNun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like lore.
veRGe1421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure. There are hundreds of links and comments saved. Never looked at them though.
Frank_Lloyd_Wrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This picture of a girl taking a nap with a cow. https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/yyzt7/napping_with_her_cow_at_the_ny_state_fair/
farm_sauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save comment
Scroll, scroll, scroll...
Save comment
Scroll, scroll, scroll...
Save comment
ItzCStephCS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
Thyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/5YZwOPI.gif
Nasuuuuuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/vbxEh
sikskittlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its porn
C4344 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread. Saveception y'all.
Nerret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
DialgoPrima ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Stained Glass Picture made from over 10,000 peeler beads. I'd love to make it myself someday.
algernonsflorist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My collection of "cute cow" posts from the front page. Since cow is by far the most consumed meat in North America I'm convinced that "big vegan" has a campaign to make people think of cows like they think of dogs in order to reduce meat consumption in NA.
LoliNyan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I go here, every time I need a laugh ; the whole thread kills me https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3oqj4a/which_song_is_most_improved_when_all_occurrences/
aragorn_22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PASTA
myotherakawnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
ec0li ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just saved this post...like all the other saved posts, I'll never look at it again.
outerdrive313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Narcissist's Prayer
SoullessDCLXVI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2j960k/from_hapiness_to_trauma_within_a_second/
chenriquevz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/4r6kyg/image_if_at_first_you_dont_succeed_try_try_again/
AmondaPls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my dog died, I found this in my "Saved" comments not too long afterward. When I saved it, this was just an eventual possibility in the distant future. I couldn't believe that just 5 months later, it was over, and this comment finally made sense to me instead of just being a nice thought.
Legend13CNS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at work so now it's this thread.
kingcuda13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has to be the Fenton video.
Scottdg93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accidental click while on phone.
RaptorBadgerDiscoTek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/46p7c1/%5BWP%5D_Bard_duels_have_become_a_popular_new_sport._Instead_of_killing_the_music%2C_the_bards_are_killing_with_the_music._Tonight_is_the_battle_of_the_bands_at_your_High_School%2C_and_you%27re_determined_to_take_home_the_grand_prize./d07f1x4/
I wrote this ages ago, and I'm still pretty proud of it. Might rework it into a longer story.
ColicShark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta go fast
CSMastermind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys save way different stuff than I do.
I'm just happy I know how to make good popcorn.
sgtsnyder88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't decide between T-ball Fetch and sugar glider
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A cow eating a shed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tybuq/did_you_ever_think_you_were_going_to_die_from_a/?st=J4FL9OWI&sh=b565f28e
willsbigboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/P55XgP3.gifv my wife had to go in for back surgery and I had her told no worries they only do stuff like this. She was not amused.
BendOvaForWhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty wide variety here
PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda tame compared to a lot of stuff on here, but it's this
Dead_Parrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread :)
Mardoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mostly porn
crazyblaze713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/GOd50.png I still laugh at this
surfnsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This game
minermb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
This thread
meseiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This AskReddit thread
FierroGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
Tommygun7468 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any rollercoaster lovers?
newtothelyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These threads used to be a lot better. You guys lost a lot of stupid shit
EveryoneLikesMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/guktv/after_5_years_of_surfing_reddit_these_are_my/
YahBas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6fqcap/fallout_4_mod_replaces_the_mysterious_stranger/
Clutton1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/OqRDvj5.mp4
Bad____Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread. xD
antrage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably one of my favourite lifehacks: No More Bad Coffee https://www.reddit.com/r/lifehacks/comments/587zed/no_more_bad_coffee/
LoosestLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.sevenbrieflessons.com/ Pretty neat interactive website on the universe
finnknit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The knitting pattern for this sweater.
MikeCanoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The secret past of Patrick Star
irisuniverse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daydreaming
Alektus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit always makes me feel good, the mix of all the overwatch characters and undretale soundtrack gives me goosebumps.
ConnorMcJeezus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Russian hockey
2hoodrich4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
Belgeria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this whole thread
ravenquothe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/iUroaPj.png
arrakisaelderon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the most perfect memes I've seen https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5qph13/jason_momoas_bodyguards_look_like_mini_bosses_you/
meinherzbrennt42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty much all porn.
O_Zeca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His face kill me on every god damn loop...
brett84c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment thread from a post yesterday (fat pikachu doll): https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6jh3nl/z/dje6p7k
ix_Omega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this story comes to mind straight away
Thedeadlypoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Jong Un - First Grader on a Field Trip.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2xv7gq/kim_jongun_is_pretty_much_just_a_first_grader_on/
Flamingos on Holiday.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4rlcrq/what_about_here_nope
And the best moment in a croc's life.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2q1124/omg_selfie
Grubbery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comprehensive post from an Askreddit thread, asking what older threads are worth a read. Some is NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/60yplo/what_are_some_great_older_askreddit_threads_that/dfae2o7/
Holidaysuprise123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sprog on failure.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6dtayk/comment/di5ccnc
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
sephsplace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JjPMsjphCUU fuck this is funny
BuddhistNudist987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord Tywin Lannister shakes dat ass
rprpr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
fugogugo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
came in looking for nsfw,
came out wholesome as fuck
SyncProgram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A dyslexic man robbed a bank. He walked in, pulled out a gun, and yelled "Air in the hands motherstickers! This is a fuck up!" "
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6jbeyh/a_dyslexic_man_robbed_a_bank/
MasinNancy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/user/howdy-yall
This novelty account is not famous enough. He's like a Cormac McCarthy character commenting on NSFW posts. Each post is unique, hilarious and, strangely enough, beautifully written.
killamonkey899 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stoya.
troyareyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/f44LjMP.jpg
ChefBigDog_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
GunShowBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
troyareyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/D9XdHlS.gifv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW I don't care if she's vaping; I'm just hypnotized
33554432 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recipe for sausage gravy and biscuits: https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/comments/287iie/sausage_gravy_biscuits_just_the_way_dad_made_em/
A hilarious HearthStone fanimation:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agNT6V7QmlE
The weirdest post from my college's sub (hi /r/rpi) from student elections this year: https://www.reddit.com/r/RPI/comments/63u68d/vote_for_me_please_any_position_i_promise_to/
rlaxowns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4r8am9/has_anyone_married_as_a_result_of_a_if_were_still/d4z7crw/?context=3
pjabrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many long ranty defenses of various right wing politics.
FormerlyMevansuto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
Megaloceros_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Jk186861 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/onepotmeals/comments/4kvoua/sausage_and_peppers_macaroni/
this recipe is amazing and I make it all the time. /r/onepotmeals needs to get more active
flashhaah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great.
idejtauren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a lot more porn in mine than I remember...
turtleXL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/0e3c5
By far my favorite. Useful after many sporting events
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one is good, I will use it on imgur and online multiplayer
WeatherWrestlingGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Infamous Jim Corbett Dairy Queen Incident.
roads30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm not sure rather to laugh, or feel sad for russo filing a restraining order against corny.
IronedSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British Sith Lord Chokes a Man to Death
non_clever_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so unbelievably stupid, but it makes me laugh every time-> https://youtu.be/eFajTI4lOHM
zpm38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FLSEOP&sh=806b7ca9
Reddit_Is_Addictive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's about to be this entire thread
Lightanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space is strange
Mypetrussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Reddit Museum of Filth (NSFW)
https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditMuseumOfFilth/comments/3fqszu/reddit_museum_of_filth_collection_updated/
Ulari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Post.
HockeyCannon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2198v0/z/cgb042u
An overview of the more dubious reddit drama
Nine_Gates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guide to internet browsers.
RexMinimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/r1Qxx2z.gifv
Chuffnell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IamA former CIA Case Officer who recently revealed my career to my family and now the world. AMA!
This thread is so interesting.
kavOclock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/um2hssxwBWM
richownsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this thread
gripgetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/WVuKE
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eazyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifextra/comments/4thmrt/bernie_sanders_causes_twerking_malfunction/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/23j9es/my_friend_called_me_to_ask_if_the_dmv_allows_you/
bull_moose_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In about 2 weeks, this thread
honeybush1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/60gjtb/band_steel_panther_is_skeptical_about_a_fans/?st=J4FLV529&sh=153e1472
This will always make me so happy
TheDevils10thMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly just a fucktonne of links to videos I enjoyed gifs from at work and will fap to later.
politicaljunkie4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This awesome thread
probabilityEngine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a comment saved that comprised of detailed instructions on how to make a playable sentient wheelbarrow in DnD 3.5. Sadly, the user seems to have deleted his account and all comments with it, and I never took a screencap..
scookie11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of right now, this thread.
soteyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2RJN9a_jdM this dog cheers me up whenever i'm down :')
KristennChaosXD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this poor bear
acmercer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post, now.
Glitterybuttholes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the good movie threads, especially scary movies and mindfuck movies!
CasnoGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/mealtimevideos/comments/5r0kkc/barack_obama_bear_grylls_survive_in_alaskas
-jFk- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/YfYdhoj.jpg
JayAgeDee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This came in handy for various birthday occasions.
sebastiano7789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment https://www.reddit.com/r/skyrim/comments/6hrrrl/stockpiling_to_rage_eat_when_the_healing_potions/ so i remember to some day page /u/LazyTheSloth
Edit: how to link comment on reddit
DeliriumTrigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
M374llic4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No idea, I save things all the time and I don't even know how to get to the saved items. I just do it anyways.
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/nIFNf
Mitoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never have to hunt for a new background image
AussyWolf1199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
karma whoring done right
NSFW
http://i.imgur.com/opRrV.jpg
Strawhatzelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2px5ai/z/cn0zuy5
I genuinely laughed so hard I fell out of my chair the first time I saw this. Brilliant narration
mrj0ker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the great philosophical or mind tantalizing things that I've saved-which have been bumped out by my over zealous porn saving...
PM_NUDES_IF_HAPPY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the moment, this post. It gives me more stuff to "research".
kjinu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These two always hit me hard in the feels.
Today you, tomorrow me: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/?st=j4flvye0&sh=b1de34f1
Single mom in the snow: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ahg8x/what_is_the_nicest_thing_youve_ever_done_that_no/c0hkuyq/?st=j4flykkh&sh=0f621ea6
I found both in this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/58hae4/what_is_a_piece_of_reddit_history_every_redditor/?st=j4flztek&sh=afdc21a0
Baneken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
pratyush997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT!!! THIS IS GOLD FAQIN MINE!
Balue442 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post on grief, and how it comes in waves has always stuck with me.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/InsistentSecondhandFlyingsquirrel
owerriboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now!
Adi347 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bug sex is sure as hell freaky
Womboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
streetlamp Le mousse
FatherErickson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story from /r/Drugs
azdv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SFW (https://m.imgur.com/gallery/AGmGGDA) and NSFW (https://gfycat.com/FlakyWelltodoIrishredandwhitesetter)
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you may only pick one
azdv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I pick the flasher then. Sorry doggos.
jparkerwillis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good
0cerez0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find it in my saved and I don't know if anyone's posted it yet but:
Broken Arms Guy and
Democracy Manifest
aamann12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A tribute to #DIY - Warning, this might make you feel things ;_;
rahulkaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/EZx64lJ.mp4
QuantumPolagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
www.imgur.com/N6u0o2U.gifv
Captain_Chaos_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not porn...
Fubuki98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My reddit turned Spanish
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/X06KmoD.mp4 vroom vroom
dog_in_the_vent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guide to Figuring Out the Age of an Undated World Map
darman92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Some of the best shit I've ever seen on Reddit.
shapu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physical upvote/downvote button.
Houeclipse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video
It got a genuine suspense and funny at the same time
Plato43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this post to save myself from having to save each individual save.
mivi12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much this entire thread
The highlight for me being this dudes 6 second emotional rollercoaster
nickykeeng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh .... Don't need to mark the obvious
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph594e2155a660c
puthiminthevan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did not know that this was a thing....
canihavemymoneyback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. How much do you weigh?
greenismyhomeboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4zj2fc/exnuns_of_reddit_what_goes_on_in_a_nunnery_that/?st=J4FM6V4R&sh=8b8564aa
aendi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christian mom spits bars
caffeinatedcorgi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found here.
Robotmassacre538 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be a link to the Reddit switcheroo, one day I'll finish it, one day
NorwegianSteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely this. All the replies are worth the read as well.
ichibanstunna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/CFFaOTy.jpg
4449434B42555454 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
mrmetaknight875345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a pretty recent addition but this breakdancing cat from r/stoppedworking
SuperDuperDealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turns out all humans are slightly telepathic r/WritingPrompts
jsideris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever this thing is: https://www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened/comments/68l9nu/my_teacher_left_the_job/dgzr9ad/
wallmoj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/z/cgbhkwp
uniqueuranus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/comments/5n6rlk/asking_for_a_booking/?st=J4FM78MQ&sh=00f2a84f
On my phone so I do apologise for the long link but I'll never not laugh at this referees reaction and the top comment gets me every time.
ilikebutteryfries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
idk why but this always makes me laugh
"autofellatio"
slapfightMcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing in here is that funny
zenchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The greatest enemy
The reddit thread with details on the creation of this work is worth reading on its own because of the level of detail and things you might overlook in the images themselves.
maniek44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4ut9tw/nsfw_what_is_the_most_fucked_up_joke_you_know/d5srjzu/
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/EGWxe13
BillyCloneasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just checked and I only have a single saved link. This cat's pole dancing face https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/47fxru/her_new_obsession_with_the_pole_has_me_mildly/
BW3D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yosemite
GandalfTheyGay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of these comments. I've just been saving them as I've been looking through them.
biscuitg0d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the amount of porn in this thread is unsettling
mynameisrequired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess i'll need to save this thread as well now.
Molly1173 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/67wcf5/ive_forgotten_his_real_name_after_this/
Jaxel_MS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/3vohc5/til_that_some_chimpanzees_and_monkeys_have/
GosuGian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This illusion
fightyourface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now it's this thread.
1an ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread!
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/cRw4Lzn.mp4
ArchDragon414 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I spent my night editing Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender into the end of Rogue One
RimmyDownunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
ReNu2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how to subscribe/save threads :(
million-dollar-loan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
um
exmirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, from now on :)
jbigboote1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
let me tell you about demon's souls
/u/Ciserus is still active too.
smallestpigever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5qwzjo/wp_something_happy_please_include_cats_and_maybe/
Usually this sub has complex or deep sci-fi type prompts, but this one is so friggin heartwarming
Daan294 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/z2xLUsH.gifv
happytobeblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this clip of a golden retriever puppy falling asleep. It's almost too cute to bear. https://i.imgur.com/AdalcmM.gifv
KaijuChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/terriblefacebookmemes/comments/40xj9l/this_might_be_the_dankest_meme_ive_ever_seen/?st=J4FME9UE&sh=52014bb3
Onlytheonethatlived ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Endless nudes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post from now on
A_Hobo_In_Training ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I got a few! In no particular order...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3ws26a/what_is_the_hardest_thing_about_being_a_man/cxysp78/
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/3iyp0w/lpt_request_how_to_get_people_to_take_memy/cukv27z/
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/4j3ld8/tsa_security_line_at_chicago_midway_right_now_are/d33nlid/ (This one's probably my favorite funny one)
I could also put some porno (furry + monstergirl) comics in, but I think I'll leave those out to try and keep this SFW as possible.
harmyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://media.giphy.com/media/TlK63EWmJDBa5MjIr6g/giphy.gif
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok
grufkork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Ooer/comments/6hdoyj/fug/?st=J4FMFD9H&sh=d94eb921
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/DdfPbja.gifv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going to be buried, but (NSFW) https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/4g1e1r/comment/d2e6qgf
Adog311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's guitar u/KingOfSnacktime
Shockrates20xx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/5ylw6k/eli5_in_the_christian_context_what_is_the_holy/der5coc/
This great analogy explaining the Christian holy trinity.
l80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this happy dude
Marethyu9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This ever-amusing big horned sheep- http://i.imgur.com/FOJUy9Z.jpg
thevoidinthemirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/6418yf/guy_on_a_rollercoaster_inauguration_gets_hit_by/?st=J4FMGYUZ&sh=e736e994
ADrunkenChemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not exactly a spiderbro but still really cool
rubioZzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FeelsGoodMan
Seriously, I didn't know the long history that Pepe has.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this in my saved section. (NSFW)
Every time I see it I can't help but laugh my ass off.
Owldolph-Hootler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've now saved this thread to the saved section, making it my favourite thing in my saved section. Self fulfilling prophecy or is Chris Nolan directing this thread?
PrinceCheddar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/boardgames/comments/5x6d00/language_barriers_are_tricky_an_artist_for_our/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=u_PrinceCheddar
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/GimqCXj.mp4
SlytherinSister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Magical Turkey Whisperer.
Never fails to make me laugh.
virum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most greatest best background ever.
tweky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW so evil, but true
abhink28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUSoPerLVRQ
I love everything about this, from contagious laughter to insane absurdity.
shaggyshag10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/2nicks/the_best_porno_youve_ever_watched/
I need an updated bigger version.
codemirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just saved this post and is now one of my favorites. It has a lot of gold.
For_teh_horde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I forgot to look through them
usernamechecksoutbm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
fightyourface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the cutest and simultaneously most badass things I've ever seen. The little smile the biker gives is just priceless to me for some reason.
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/66qgx8/true_love/?ref=share&ref_source=link
tokendoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/xsxcme5.jpg
soupiejr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.imgur.com/mOcTFWN?r This cracks me up everytime I watch it.
Littlebigs5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very rapidly, this thread
dskoziol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I thought you were just supposed to save things and never again look at them. I've been using it wrong.
thyrandomninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It links to "facts.com"
Preparingtocode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW gnomes
I_Am_Ed_Edd_n_Eddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably anything that i save here.
VLKBlackDove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im just going to leave a comment so I can look at everything later!
lilghising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post. ๐
JinjaHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mines purely tits...
Simple_Danny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just saw it yesterday but it's my favorite:
https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/6jg2vd/neighbors_oc/dje62hy/
gankdulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FMOBFA&sh=e9644331
Bad____Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6do6vd/obu/
Steve Harvey's face in this is golden!
Jojharryson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saved this to view later xdddd
rczx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/GOu7429.gifv
Buce-Nudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4invxv/
doublep93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Jr9DM3St0vA
No matter what mood I am in, this can always cheer me up, I know there is a gif of it somewhere but I cant find it right now
D_S876 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of my porn.
pbj986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy jerks.
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/jcpig4Z.mp4
whorcruz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hippo side car all day https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/5jw4ke/sidecar_hippo_pen_and_marker_85_x_11/?st=J4FMPLBC&sh=3890061b
kitizl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Fanguyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://blazeti.me/
pretty funny website
RagalFraggal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment in this ask reddit thread about what it is like to have autism
jziggy44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All my titty pics
goongirlgetit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph564383980583a
NSFW, if it wasn't obvious.
TheProGameFreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DoGgO bRuTaLlY StaBbeD
or there was an attempt to get the ball
CMLMinton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this video, which I found in the comments of a youtubehaiku post.
It is not a rickroll.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor /u/krisperCB's artwork.
e.g.: https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/6a5dby/bestfriends_pencil_a4/
BittenHare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been caught masticating? https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyaskreddit/comments/65rpog/have_you_ever_been_caught_masticating/
OsakaWilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I've never opened it. I've been putting things in it for ten years, only recently learned how to open it, but still haven't bothered.
Xygen8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/87n8jhVO784
FallenRanger635 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
lazy_panda42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
dream__weaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bernie's Powers https://www.reddit.com/r/woahdude/comments/4tmeqk/bernies_powers/?st=J4FMTVFD&sh=bc2521a0
Baelgul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This super list from an askreddit thread a year ago: (Not NSFW but does have a link to NSFW material)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT so many risky clicks! Saving till after hours!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving so many things and never seeing it again ๐
meatballbottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rangรฉ - You gotta play with my balls
thatguyeveryoneloves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just makes me laugh everytime.
dream__weaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This badass skate vid https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/4b0uqr/dude_pulls_the_most_inventive_hilarious/?st=J4FMUOE2&sh=c3a16c13
Heroicshrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS POST
hehe Meta
The_Best_Cookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google Translate is the best
Ifyouseekey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://vimeo.com/169137176 Musical Titties NSFW
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://24.media.tumblr.com/d6049176ce773aabebca513076168d3b/tumblr_mn14yrulPI1qdlh1io1_400.gif
ManInKilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/696bqk/z/dh48u6j
Nilaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story about Kevin https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/z/cgbhkwp
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/XD9L4
ComputerMystic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have way too many minion memes saved.
Granted, they're from /r/WackyTicTacs, but that arguably just makes it worse.
My favorite would have to be some throat singing I found on /r/4chan.
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.refinedguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/3-duke-speedo-guy-gif.gif
Quesamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little girl hugging a water cooler because she thinks it's a robot. I'm too lazy to get the link, but trust me, it's adorable.
Xraykitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one always makes me laugh: http://i.imgur.com/Rkbp1Vl.gif
You_have_a_butt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/jMv76TW
The very first picture I ever saved on this reddit account.
iDramos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your question.
There are a lot of funny things in this thread, all worth to be saved for me.
C0105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best drinking games
Magenta_Toothpaste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/g13orhX.gifv
This guy on an epic water slide.
Jellybean_Drifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For science!
jparkerwillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-xDZ64FfKa4dChb49iWWilMJrvALTGYA
Franklin_DeTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
khmergodpc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gif of 2b and dildo
Sageous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is now my favorite thing "saved".
Sh_rtcut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I added this one to my SAVED list fairly recently, probably the best of the best.
iisagoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/6dgein/wait_for_the_moment_when_your_opponent_is_most/?st=J4FMYRFZ&sh=628fca01
Because you'll be shit on when you are most vulnerable.
mazendia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FMZU4W&sh=d8703915
ConverseKing86UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Threads which have images of slutty looking women in Converse Allstars. Eg https://i.imgur.com/QXbiBPP.jpg
And
https://i.imgur.com/ew41w4x.jpg
YukiNagatoKyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Propane heater in car
jmbc3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you Klay
PillowTalk420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The British are coming! The British are coming!"
"Master Revere? Be that thou?"
"Aye! Wake thyself! The British are coming!"
"Shut thine historically inaccurate trap, Paul. Decent folk are sleeping at this hour."
"Be thou deaf? The British are coming!"
"And what, pray, doth thou expect me or my certainly wakeful kin to do about it?"
"I... thou... look, I know not, but thine aims are best served with alertness!"
"Right. Hey, Paul?"
"Aye?"
"Pray, be thou aware of Da Vinci?"
"Aye, but what..."
"And be thou aware of his aerial screw?"
"His helicopter, aye, but..."
"Then feast thine eyes on my nethers as I imitate it!"
Fwup fwup fwup fwup fwup!
"You curr! Be thou loyal to the British?!"
"I beg forgiveness, Master Revere, for I cannot hear your words over the sound of mine oscillating tallywhacker!"
Fwup fwup fwup fwup fwup!
"Scandal!"
"Be off with you, Paul! Let that be a lesson about waking folk!"
bwade141994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my saved section is gonna be flooded after im done browsing.
hollyplum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin and definitely congratulations, you're fucked!
Im_Not_Important ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The entire Greg thread has me in tears every time, but mostly this post.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3oqj4a/which_song_is_most_improved_when_all_occurrences/cvzi5ts/
redlukas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/6jreum the whole thread is filled with cool stuff
SerfnTurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/mKM0P9gWx7k By far my favorite. Idk why, maybe it's the serious-looking fadeout ending, but it gets me everytime.
thr0aty0gurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All my saved stuff is porn, because instead of clicking those links at work I save them all for when I'm done.
PM_ME_UR_BIRBS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
every bone shattered
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Female butts in yoga pants.
Rsubs33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man eats a dick after comment gets 400 gold
ihateradiohead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/6g8gje/alvarez_tjp_renamed_because_vince_mcmahon_hates/
E1padr1n0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Jokes on all of you I'm saving this thread.
takaiishi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spider kitten?
bordercollieflower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The funniest fart story I've ever read: here
thsabalala1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably some meme or funny post
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This counterfeit $10 bill
oraldirtyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin.
normanboulder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there's a saved section for reddit. Lol only took me around 4 years...ugh!
novelty_bone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"there appears to be nothing here"
bplzizcool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the F off my lawn!
NeuroticKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/qgya2
Hutch131313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/3GRSbr0EYYU
Winters067 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif of Tavurvur erupting in Rabaul, New Britain, Papua New Guinea. Original source here.
Cruiz98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
niltyak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This: https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/3yjx8b/puppy_gets_ice_cube_stuck_to_itself/?st=J4FN80FI&sh=82963cb5
geosun65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anon starts World War Crow. Or Lord of the Rings Financial edition. LOTR FE is long but I love it.
TMpops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comment for memory
pingywon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
porn..it...its all porn...
SinekS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ykOfEjM.gifv
Unbiasedtruth2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This post.
Infinite901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/2cjab0zvu33z.jpg
A_moral_Animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proof that evolution is fake. The proof is in the peanut butter!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504
I_love_subway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/xvsng0l.gifv
AfroWorkAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly /r/wholesomebpt stuff.
The accidental birth invite
The prom date
Ride for my dog, bark for my dog
There's a lot more, but I'd suggest going on /r/wholesomebpt/top for more.
blankmoniker1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saved section?
Galalithial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
NeuroticKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/c6gd2
ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
IncognitoLens_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/WdbLYkF.gifv
coquihalla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a saved items section full of "creepy" ask reddit, cross stitch patterns and cooking recipes, but this They made him kills his horse is one of my favourite threads. It makes me giggle every time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this one.
badwolf504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://oauth.reddit.com/r/CringeAnarchy/comments/6ga6ln/foo/dioo2pn
Gbrow09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4xxgce/whats_something_youre_confident_has_only_happened/?st=J4FNBWHE&sh=50edd3d1 This thread... turns into a thread about illegal immigrants and ice cream trucks. Funnies shit I've ever watched unfold.
ThiccAsTheDevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a happy cow.
hideous_coffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a feeling it's going to be this thread.
xZEEFx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
nicknacknp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/R2DbGf8.gifv
Broskifity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be this one for me
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
frostyy8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After I saw it, yeah it's this topic.
Zenith_21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5u6vu4/reddit_what_is_the_most_mind_boggling_fact_you/dds6hua/?context=10000
notsurewhatiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
Good2Go5280 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn.
akjnrf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/65j9gt/reddit_whats_the_scariest_theory_known_to_mankind/dgb5gul/
Akki- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this thread.
sweetpotato_magic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cracks me up every single time https://youtu.be/ZjXLPW6geL0?t=20s
Rebuta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a few here.
This a a small SFW collection.
ReddishCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW https://gfycat.com/DizzySmoothCowrie
sexualised_pears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexiest. Model. Ever The best style The only style https://www.reddit.com/r/sips/comments/66i8mw/the_best_style_the_only_style/
hardyflashier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a 'SAVED' section?
ISmuggleMentos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/Celebs/comments/6jkubm/alexandra_daddario_nsfw/?st=J4FNGQED&sh=7bbf6302
ToxicKrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FENTON!
Orylus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This epic scifi teaser that was more impressive than movies out in the theater lately:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjQ2t_yNHQs
HolyNoodle66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find this compilation of cop NPC fails from GTA V pretty great.
https://www.reddit.com/r/iwanttoapologize/comments/6bcev6/police_officers_of_gta_v/?st=J4FNF4PM&sh=2158f39b
RemixxMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this (NSFW)
chelsel9395 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easily this one:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?st=J4FNGZLC&sh=528c0987
I feel over laughing while reading it
BigFlyingTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frog in space
FrozenRage1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite post on GW in a long time.
NSFW
u/shroedingerzkat
cameljocky26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
BobbyIke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far this is my favorite thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3iilas/clubbers_of_reddit_what_are_your_best_tips_for/?st=J4FNH76O&sh=0bbb2758
informationmissing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too much excellent stuff to choose just one... I'm sure something NSFW will be in this list as I make it.
Louis ck's rendition of Clifford would be a best seller https://youtu.be/_Eix1CDVHYE
Lip plate malfunction http://m.imgur.com/P0vQneV?r
Bomb defusing video game is tense https://youtu.be/5BhHkvHcUfo
Music video made by editing sign language videos together. https://youtu.be/BwokgguGuZM
Throwing things into things https://youtu.be/2QxxD47NUaI
Mike Rowe http://imgur.com/d4k8FHK?r
Origami http://m.imgur.com/aMIgrrl
One of my all time favorite sci-fi short stories. http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html
One redditor's advice to another is very wise. https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/comment/cdah4af
There's more, but I'm bored of copy pasting on my phone. Sorry for any mobile links.
TantricLasagne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coming on too strong
theshallotknight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This amazing tale. https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2a78al/tifu_secretly_eating_mushrooms_while_my_wife_was/
BGYeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course this wonderful story
fiascoqueen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/3nm2cy/kitten_chasing_ducks/
cabe565 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, these responses are super lame.
blaze261 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ShittyPoetry/comments/154ch3/pen
I can't say why this resonates with me so much.
HatesNewUsernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/whitepeoplegifs/comments/6jnduo/making_eggs/.
procass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This AskReddit thread
Wesley_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
T
Improvis2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've probably watched 12 of these docs
GiveMeChoko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, it was an AskReddit thread where someone asked people what was their favorite thing in the 'SAVED' section. You, know, for future references.
bertjuuhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video from /r/happycrowds
googltk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z_OrcIqOXl8
drognan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I need to save more stuff. I've only got these two:
*Pacman from the ghosts point of view
*Eco douche
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one AskReddit with the best SFW insults. I use it against my sister occasionally.
sir_timotheus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story
greeperfi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember even saving or reading it, but I had this "Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker" response that is pretty great. I don't know how to link to a specific response, but it's the 3rd response down, from user Rhoner and has 19 gold.
Mittzir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for reminding me I have the saved section.
mjulieoblongata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
techno cloggers
Lastrevio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic
MagnumOpusModus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/youtubehaiku/comments/6b0jop/poetry_fashion_in_gtav/?st=J4FNRQCC&sh=3f0447a7
a5hl3ylbh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The AOL Cd's guy genius. I laughed for a few days after that one. AOL CDs
Novacryy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5e0lco/what_picture_video_or_gif_never_fails_to_leave/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit
MyNameIssPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
kingslayerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
right now...this โ https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6byo92/a_grieving_dad_designed_this_tombstone_of_his/
lordanoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kendrick Lamar DNA video
This for sure
earlsweaty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wholesome stoner - Featuring dogs!
snarky_answer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my favorite gif!
Puffwad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of nsfw shit in there...
Daldril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This!
Vinyldisc2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread x
Seech111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link
All you'll ever need.
Mr_Mexico101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one now... https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FNSZEB&sh=f665f640
Scooopiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These stories of an "old" guy with his little sister:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/60fnvv/Hey_Reddit%3A_Which_%22double-standard%22_irritates_you_the_most%3F/df68rbz/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/60fnvv/Hey_Reddit%3A_Which_%22double-standard%22_irritates_you_the_most%3F/df6clha/
TheAfterman6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
** Only just found out you can save topics/comments.**
What a n00b.
iKoniKz64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some guy commenting, in a story about a Chinese man falling in love with a child, "In Asia, too young is just a name"
ILikeFutaPorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a perv NSFW Sammy CYOA, Futa comic by Incase
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one now
dhb44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saved section?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cat who steals potatoes
CardinalBuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doggo see, Doggo do: https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsWrongWithYourDog/comments/4vg96k/doggo_see_doggo_do/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Echoblammo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What da doo-doo did yousa just say about meesa, yousa litta bitty bitch? Iโll has yousa know meesa graduated bombad of meesa class in da Jedi Seals, and meesa been involved in numerous secret raids on da Federation, and meesa has over 300 confirmed kills. Meesa trained in guerilla warfare and meesa da bombad sniper in da entire Republic armed forces. Yousa nutting to meesa but just another target. Meesa ganna wipe yousa da doo-doo out with precision da likein of which has never been seen before on dis Naboo, mark meesa doo-doo words. Yousa thinkin yousa ganna getin away with sayin da doo-doo to meesa over da internet? Thinkin again, fucker. As weesa speak meesa contacting meesa secret network of spies across da Republic and yousa IP is bein traced right now so yousa bombad prepare for da storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes out da pathetic litta bitty thing yousa call yousa life. Yousa doo-doo dead, kid. Meesa ganna be anywhere, anytime, and meesa ganna kill yousa in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with meesa bare hands. Not only meesa extensive train in unarm combat, but meesa access to da entire arsenal of da Republic Jedi Order and meesa ganna use it to its full extent to wipe yousa miserable doo-doo off da face of da galaxy, yousa litta bitty doo-doo. If only yousa can has known what unholy retribution yousa litta bitty โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon yousa, maybe yousa woulda held yousa doo-doo tongue. But yousa couldnโt, yousa didnโt, and now yousa gonna pay da price, yousa goddamn idiot. Meesa ganna doo-doo fury all over yousa and yousa ganna drown in it. Yousa doo-doo dead, kiddo.
Zarathon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is totally gonna be saved
MusicalDonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's an amazing story that I found on r/WritingPrompts that I just love
KillerBeeTX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How To Solve A Rubik's Cube
I saved this a while ago and have practiced whenever I could. I solved my first cube without referring to this guide last year. Now I am working on improving speed.
nickiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How a Liberal Teleworking Policy Led to the Demise of the Jedi Council
ViralPoseidon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have yet to hear more true words of wisdom. https://www.reddit.com/r/kenm/comments/49tmkl
HatesNewUsernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/grilledcheese/comments/2or1p3/you_people_make_me_sick/
The first link called Kevin. I still go read that.
ZainTheOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk but this post goes in my saved posts ;)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post so I can see people's favourite saved posts
prshredder000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an old one, but I get a good laugh every time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4OUQJb3WGk
Cforq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it was the time-worn Christmas traditions grandma loved most. [nsfw]
http://reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/ekg6o/but_it_was_the_timeworn_christmas_traditions/
egosumFidius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This "victory dance" from the first speedrun marathon i got to watch
https://www.reddit.com/r/speedrun/comments/29ash1/ribbedkillas_victory_dance_gif/
kempez2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite response to a good post. http://imgur.com/l0XpyTT
singham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Long read but worth it. When you mix sex and cosmology inspired by a "Everything and Nothing" series on TVO. https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychonaut/comments/2u385n/sex_forever_sfw/co5brba/
stormbornyoyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this post
PrivateClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
CaptainMiddleDoor31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
List of NSFW subreddits ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just add them all to a custom multireddit named scenery.
CaptainMiddleDoor31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advanced masturbatory technique.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really good feature since I can aggregate all the NSFW subreddits I like without subscribing to them which makes it pretty safe from people who tend to shoulder surf when I'm browsing my homepage.
Vonneguts_Ghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://reddit.com/r/bloodborne/comments/3188d0/well_this_is_awkward/
Best ragdoll ever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, one thing's for sure. I'm saving this one for later
MulberryPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The spider who couldn't hide
Shitjustgotshitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/XsqCEgp.gifv
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all porn and naked girls
steviestv570 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Quinn_Patrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one always gets a laugh. http://imgur.com/a/41WDk
2agrant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most beautiful video I've ever seen
HumanTheTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
The-Laminator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my newer ones
FixDieWeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This joke kills me everytime https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5izpma/z/dbc6xvu
clon2645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is interesting as fuck https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/6abzzh/knife_vs_water_bottles/?st=J4FO0NCG&sh=dd642bc9
Jitterjumper13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now.
I_h8_lettuce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best AMA ever!
CyberPlatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/6jreum
icelordz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
cwmerkel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of Garg the Ogre.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2mjhz9/what_would_happen_if_an_intelligent_greatsword/
your_mistaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my new favourite post of all time
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[SFW] hi res pic the eye of Jupiter. 1825x1190
I_WRESTLE_BEARS_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is fuckin great. And I'm only 3 top-level comments in.
gayusername69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cry every time I read this
omiron365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved this for future
JBSLB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive looked at a ton of comments and not a single how can she slap?
IkaikaMahi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one
Blankfillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life of a bear
klezmai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has to be this thing or that thing. I just can't decide.
VerbatimSensation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not today
DidYaReadItEh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
Ghitit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/4dque7/a_black_man_talking_about_black_lives_matter/
kikijones2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright tail, which way now?
aligmoney21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/LightInbornBluefish
https://streamable.com/dt46y
https://i.imgur.com/x501fi0.mp4
https://i.imgur.com/lbxQSbm.mp4
https://i.imgur.com/qamKbkt.mp4
webbyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of Kevin from the question "Who's the dumbest person you've ever met?"
LisbethSalanderFC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is a reposter's wet dream.
JCisME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now... It's this post
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This explanation of why you could never find the "center" of the universe
EDIT: Nevermind, it's this. I had it in my saved to read later and I just got to it
Thetravelingboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not hard and fast rules, by any means, and six I've never understood, but they've helped me be a bit more happy. And that's a hard thing to undervalue.
DadsAdvice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely NSFW, but this the most hilariously, plot-twisted porn GIF I've ever seen.
https://gfycat.com/IllegalWhoppingEthiopianwolf
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I generally don't save stuff here in order to emphasize the evanescence and vanity of everything THAT IS.
ForeverAdorable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This glorious PT cruiser thread
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22k59y/pt_cruiser_owners_what_tragedy_burdened_you_with/?st=J4FO790Z&sh=53c97d50
CuteThingsAndLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay honestly I save a bunch of shit because I wanna go back to everything that makes me laugh or smile or wanna learn stuff.
But going through my list, this one made me stop scrolling the longest so here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/likeus/comments/6241cx/gorilla_keeps_it_on_the_dl/?st=J4FO7J31&sh=81e84cbb
11_RMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing in my SAVED section would be this thread.
rage1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well..now it's this post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/ms2klX-puUU
sapm90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know just Wi-Fi passwords to a lot of Airport lounges and VIP lounges around our small world.
Wireless Passwords From Airports And Lounges Around The World
Now bow to your new king
UsernameNotFound404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Compiled by another user, the list.
aroad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a dick pic
downnheavy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
juddplays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This broken McDonalds receipt
Mainly for EGG!MCMUGGIO!!!!!!!!!!!!
genericname__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saves this thread
GormyGorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/nL2x06o.gifv
MoreThanTwice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Documentaries/comments/5cdj0e/1_hour_lecture_by_the_worlds_leading_professor_on/
Sexy_Panther28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R5HbOIC6buM
allenme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ZNFYnD0.jpg
danieleinad86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post now!( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
IkarusFlies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/xnjNUkvKers Just trust me
lostinabudhabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6cow2l/triss_cosplay_done_right/ nsfw
ADanishMan2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This drunk Bears fan professing his love for Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota
mako123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Step by step instructions on how to turn my particular car into a comfy living-space. Its actually what convinced me to by this model and year. My girlfriend refuses to live in a car, but should anything go wrong...
Leroyjankinsss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/z/cdah4af
A way to live life.
ChoccyBoozer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X16G2hsVI9w
WIPeFo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What should you do every single day? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2j60iy/what_should_you_do_every_single_day/
Don't forget to masturbate and floss!
JiggSawLoL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread. Thanks Reddit <3
yuvf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real Life FPS on Chatroulette https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/3hrq8b/real_life_fps_on_chatroulette/
Best video ever!
Utming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has helped a lot.
GaandKeAndhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever heard the tragedy of Fritz Haber the chemist?
No?
I thought not. It's not a story the Germans would tell you. It's a Jew legend. Fritz Haber was a chemist, so capable and inventive he devised a method to extract nitrogen from the air... He had such a knowledge of chemistry, he created a chemical called Zyklon-A.
He could actually extract nitrogen from the air?
Chemistry is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
What happened to him?
He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was the nazis, which eventually, of course, drove him out of the country. Unfortunately, he taught the nazis everything he knew, then the nazis killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could give others nitrogen from the air, but not himself.
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a Nazi.
Dear_Occupant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother jerks off pigs.
SmoothAsBabysButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be my favourite cooking show clip
Gnocchi
drumsurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was awesome.
OhThatEll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/IYJ6eGr
My favourite gif to watch if I'm sad. God bless Drew Stanton, you silly goose.
Trinity719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5wb8hj/mistakes_were_made/?st=J4FOE6D0&sh=8639c4a6
Gets me every time
helderdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/6a0blv/I_just_opened_my_first_misprint%21_The_ink_is_printed_onto_a_piece_of_tape/dhaqcos/
This one always cracks me up
Ghitit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of this moment, it's this post.
i2fat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/19k9a1/i_cannot_bend_any_of_my_fingers_so_there_have/?st=J4FOELMS&sh=ee2c4ed4
Easily
TrickyDTrump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
OriginOfGilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen this one on here yet...
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/63z8qb/if_a_snake_is_a_nope_rope_what_are_other_animals/?st=J4FOFSOQ&sh=b308e4d2
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6h0b3v/what_famous_quote_is_really_bad_if_it_is_said_by/diul7f4/
Captain-Moroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
I've always wanted to build one. Seen so many and I've done nothing about it.
__SOOP__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This amazing gif https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/66toab/jump_on_it/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=902090de
NotTheStatusQuo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/3bpmq2/benny_the_bull_another_season_of_the_worlds/
clothescaotcontainme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shaq petting this dude's beard https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5z9nwo/shaq_petting_this_dudes_beard/
insanityinabowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5j9ju8/z/dbef8dl
headfullofmangos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This random NSFW multi-reddit generator.
Or this depiction of the idiocy of religion.
lyvefyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jix5j/what_is_the_scariest_reddit_post/?st=J4FOIH02&sh=c206ae46 this was from yesterday, but I'd say I spent a solid hour reading it.
unculturedswine_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this post is going in my saved
syndreamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a sysadmin, I have a lot of Powershell scripts and how-tos from /r/powershell sub
Aegean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/152i2vv16luy.png
Szeth_Vallano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This fart of justice.
Edit: NSFW language
xgrimkillx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today was my birthday and this post is my favourite post now in my saved. I never knew there was this must joy on reddit.
bonedead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good ol Rark Grames https://www.reddit.com/r/thewalkingdead/comments/6g68z4/not_the_best_lighting_but_heres_a_painting_i_made/dio14aq/
pedwingeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/Ju0Rddw.gifv
minibabybuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someones response to one of my comments, of Michelle Obama being awesome https://www.reddit.com/r/etreat/comments/6jknp7/musical_monday_feel_good_music/djf7mv6/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two. These adorable little things and the sad mermaid.
Spooderman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ImGoingToHellForThis/comments/3wwwoj/mrw_i_get_a_flat_tire_in_detroit/?st=J4FOK6HU&sh=f5be392c
ssaa6oo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably late to the party but this is worth mentioning.
danatee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/ZNimx.jpg
universe_throb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a WoW follower guide, a link to some anti-distraction bullshit, and a bunch of porn. You probably can't guess what my favorite is.
(it's the porn)
Jaclaydon121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzJDimvPW1Y
justincase_2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif from r/hockey
suahttam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's now this thread.
DemonicWolf227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this
derpbread_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This incredible time lapse
Fabulous_von_Fegget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When someone got vore art to appear on first page
HarryboChutney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is a video of a keg tapping gone wrong.
Ridgetop18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite
Graucsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
by far: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterEveryLoop/comments/3sb9lk/miley_cyrus_physics/
JobberMcJobJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/6afe8u/history_of_the_entire_world_i_guess/?st=J4FONF2C&sh=db8cb1c0
This Video
imdarthnihilus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/UhCpIoJ.gifv
T-Rekt, one of my favorites....
nLotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When a bee sting turned Bear Grylls into Benedict Cumberbatch
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/6jcipr/oc_that_time_my_party_instituted_goblin_democracy/?st=J4FOMFUD&sh=c9f8d686
This D&D train wreck I had the opportunity to DM. It just got more and more off the rails until the whole dungeon was improv.
It is my favorite experience playing the game, and the player that wrote the experience up is a very compelling writer.
Ididitforpi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Loca, and I'm a special pug. I live in Belfast, Ireland and me favourite things a hug.... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jtpK9uxTZhE
RareUnicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've hated this video as long as I can remember seeing it.. I imagine this is what Trump voters think "the news" is.
Ididitforpi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an avid dog lover, someone who appreciates bad humour and a Canadian who gives zero flying 'ducks' about Trump..... this video is gold.
Second_Horseman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/PowerfulEducatedDavidstiger
seelk07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
SeeingDoubleTrouble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/5uUdX.gif
Fishfaceswim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6ad8k1/rollercoaster_tycoons_infamous_hedge_maze_sees/
If you're a rollercoaster tycoon fan, what this guy has done is just the most amazing story ever.
HisDomina206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/woahdude/comments/5enr3i/lighted_hoop/?st=J4FOPIG7&sh=65071830
Christiancrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, now it's this post
DarkRubberDucky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is my favorite.
NAMYNNUF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one. https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/61vslh/adorable_little_girl_mistakes_broken_water_heater/?st=J4FOR37L&sh=facf85f3
IMayHavePunchedHim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My saved section really only has porn and weird BDSM shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UFsMMFjmVs
NSFW language?
snappyj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably this post now
AllPurposeNerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And though she flung wide three gates to the ambassadors of Cupid..."
RimmyJim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has to be this world class pun:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5u6vu4/reddit_what_is_the_most_mind_boggling_fact_you/ddrxoz4/
iWint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drunk guy falling over
awesomeatlast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/5isqn1/streamer_is_virtually_violated_by_a_weird_guy_and/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=212c220d
Dreckiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Mister Torgue AMA is pure gold and still has me in stitches. https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/13gsxi/iama_mister_torgue_and_will_answer/?st=J4FOS74Z&sh=559c02ae
ax_14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/65ylpz/whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_done_while_your/dgeopnx/
this thing
still made me lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disembodied mouth licking each other and you - [00:47] / thread
BananasToTheMax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always a go to NSFW?
Sam3693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a saved section???
AlexMichelle1293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uma Thurman at it again https://imgur.com/vuYrbBN
Edit: spelling
Admiral_Sjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/PHG2de9.gif
Rockettech5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looks at the lake
theataractic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a save feature? TIL!
llittleserie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This monstrosity
buefordwilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a tall order. Just realized my saved list is enormous, so I'll just throw this one out there.
Ry4n246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughHaiku/comments/2wqgbt/if_everyone_laughed_like_ricky_gervias/
this just makes my day everyday
Scherazade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment lead me on a merry path through fanfiction past. https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/5yvf23/in_disneys_the_princess_and_the_frog_the_shadow/detbr1b/
Nazi_Zebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Horse playing with a squeaky rubber chicken.
jarecis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparantly I didn't know how to smile in first grade
ImNotTheOnlySpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why butt this https://www.imgur.com/gallery/lQZkL
Edit: NSFW
DreadAngel1711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gif of a dog spinning in circles like a tornado than scooting away like zoidberg from futurama.
Simpsonsman120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/68syr5/living_in_the_nice_part_of_town/?st=J4FOXWUH&sh=989f487e
repsaj33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
Sir_Dubblechins_III ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
tsume24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i thought i had my favorite /nosleep story saved, but apparently i don't so i have to go back and look for it. it's about a kid whose brother dies but keeps talking to him after death, and the author's description of what the dead brother sees and experiences is one of the most beautiful and thought-provoking things i've ever read.
so besides that, pretty much everything from this guy that i've saved.
edit: if anyone is actually reading this, i found the /nosleep story!
another_norman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I saved this thread. I win.
viper112001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyrobots/comments/66yjhl/knife_wielding_tentacle/?st=J4FOYR5J&sh=24a18706
helicase14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leonardo DiCaprio scaring Jonah Hill on the street by pretending to be a crazy fan https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/4vv0sa/leonardo_dicaprio_scaring_jonah_hill_on_the/
PlusVE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely going to be up there in a couple hours!
red_death_at_614 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about getting through medical bankruptcy. It's very reassuring to me emotionally and financially.
The3rdRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/6h7hz4/redditor_explaining_why_he_sits_when_he_pees/?st=J4FOYWFP&sh=33a4aa84
N-Depths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
dillyia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A comment including the Many Wonders of Reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5xzdss/what_are_the_7_wonders_of_reddit/dem1nrs/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Cat always cracks me up.
N-Depths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and this
PremierBromanov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything poops
Memphix27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
ThatsProbablyIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man in Reading gets hit by bus then walks into Pub NSFW
notpetelambert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would happen if Kal-El was discovered by the Comanche people
LeeHarveyT-Bag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/androidapps/comments/4i36z9/how_you_use_your_android_to_the_maximum/d2uq24i/
Strawberrycocoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like inflicting the Swamps of Dagobah story on people periodically.
Strategist14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This response to what the most common Google searches would be in the middle ages.
SquidsOgro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada mapped by trails, roads, streets, and highways. submitted by u/robbibt It's definitely something I'd like on a canvas on my wall with UV paint so that it can glow in the dark.
thecackster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2s5g55/what_one_weird_trick_does_a_profession_actually/
I actually used a lot of these in life.
Niferwee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is always my favourite. They tells what it'll be like if you have immortality
https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1dn43v/z/c9s173k
Zamphira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yBd5RY7GRo
SoberKid420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a bunch of trippy ass art and gifs and shit I saved for pleasurable viewing while on LSD or shrooms like this
Rhyker1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/611tpm/reggie_watts_spontaneously_asks_donald_glover_do/?st=J4FP5QLX&sh=d66a27cb
This Donald Glover Reggie Watts jam.
aesid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/9zUV3GX.gif
https://i.imgur.com/9bjeLCA.gifv (NSFW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZMU7D6opTY
TeaAndCigarettes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW: T Swift - Trouble (bear/deer remix) https://youtu.be/ux9dZXSLIaA
paperscribbel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/rule34_comics/comments/3orjrd/holy_crap_alfie_by_incase_is_the_best_sex_comic/
NSFW
Xonadras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.reddituploads.com/66ddeda0a7fe485f95c253ffc8f254a0?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=c2d207fb61708461d41700a857f421e6
Griefx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post. ;)
JackFuckery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW? https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3306k2/kfc_doesnt_even_have_to_try_any_more_theyre_just/
shartoberfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/-B93CBtHGa4
SamMan2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/2s20rl/soulsearching/cnlkex4/?context=3
Red_Joker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this apt description of persona 5
obfusca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently? This post.
hobocat76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Kellogg's story. Warning: NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/Kelloggs/comments/1n7tw7/oh_my_god_i_knew_a_sub_like_this_just_had_to
Samurilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/DataHoarder/comments/64jile/g_suite_business_with_a_single_user_organization/
If you don't know, 1 tb is 1000 gigabytes.
wordsfilltheair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfFSxyrCnLk&ab_channel=rebelbiscuit
ConstantlyOnFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me giggle every time. https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/5vq0w7/dont_mind_me/?st=J4FPLPVH&sh=9ef62191
BubbleInThePool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
Catspiracy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread, apparently
Michael_Gough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
iplayhecarim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
^ spl
Euerfeldi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/comments/4fbpgk/junta_the_junta_musical/d27g4fh/
stephanie_is ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://np.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5nj0zo/assassin_cat_strikes_again/?st=J4FPU6H6&sh=db50fbe4
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
juiciest87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even know where to start with this.
Hippydippy420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW https://youtu.be/lwV53ymQHZ4
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lots of porn
Alekzcb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This bizarre post on /r/deathgrips.
the_disco_pimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
boobies!
yb4zombeez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poem for your Sprogs' contribution to the "7 wonders of Reddit" thread.
Ironically, his single comment received more Gold than the post it's on. That's how much of a gem it is.
Smokeyhontas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Sun Sets Sail", by Rob Gonsalves, acrylic on canvas, 2001. [2916x1438] https://www.reddit.com/r/Art/comments/65l854/the_sun_sets_sail_by_rob_gonsalves_acrylic_on/
Vroomvroomba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This soothing balm for an IT worker's soul
macphile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's only one thing in my Saved tab:
Company-wide email + 30,000 employees + auto-responders = ...
Doppasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif after the Paris attack: http://i.imgur.com/SmXGDVS.gifv
Reflex2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread still makes me laugh.
https://www.reddit.com/r/reactiongifs/comments/2zukys/mrw_my_girlfriend_breaks_up_with_me_while_im_on/
RoThrowaway749 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/68zysl/reflections_on_the_pier_photographed_by_michael/
InaneMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid chameleon.
smileydie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the hot porn
cheatonus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized I Have a bunch of saved things. I've never intentionally saved anything... Heh.
Doublepirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/25itb8/what_is_the_best_boob_gif
Nsfw. Reddit, what is your favorite boob gif?
friendliest_giant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best post I've ever seen
TheCoub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Overfeels
SPOONY12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/46pkh4/sweden_is_a_magical_place_xpost_from_rsweden/
Never fails to make me laugh!
ntran2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/oyGvlEX
Everytime I see this I die a little inside.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This poem...
When Little Timmy surfed a site And gaily picked a thread, He laughed aloud with deep delight At every word he read. He skimmed a hundred happy tales Of misbegotten youth - Of fond affairs and funny fails, And other twists of truth! So Timmy shared a story too, Then settled back and sighed. But somehow someone somewhere knew. And Timmy fucking died.
PinWormCircus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I need a laugh I watch this. I found it little while ago on r/ContagiousLaughter
Enjoy: Possibly NSFW
SentinelBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your the best,Uncle Phil
dear_twitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't call me a creep, but I love to audio record things that I like without letting others know. For example an amazing lecture, stupid jokes, drunken party conversations, techie things they tell me in the office that I don't understand etc. So when I get time, I listen to them. My favourite amongst them are the brilliant class lectures (marketing, finance etc) that I have recorded. Some of them are so amazing that I listen to them with my batchmates. The best part is all voices of people who sat besides me are also recorded.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/3u2edovu26ny.jpg
CasualTheJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a post from u/JoseJimenezAstronaut in an Ask Reddit about if Dr. Seuss would have been NSFW. Kills me every time.
Things In My Butt - by Dr Seuss
"Hello, I'm Tommy Tutt. Do you like things in your butt?"
"Hello, Tommy Tutt. No, I don't like things in my butt."
"Would you like them if they're round? Would you like them if they're brown?"
"I would not like them if they're round. I would not like them if they're brown. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"Do you like them long and straight? Pounding with the force of hate?"
"I do not like them long and straight. I do not like the force of hate. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"Maybe gently caressed with love...a single finger in a glove?"
"Not with hate, not with love. Not a finger in a glove. I do not like it long and straight. None shall pass my starfish gate. I do not like things in my butt. I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
"What if it was thick and curly, twisting with a twirly whirly?"
"No, I do not like it twirly whirly - makes me scream like a little girly. Long and straight, round and brown, this sort of thing ain't going down. I do not like things in my butt, I do not like them, Tommy Tutt."
โBut lots of people give it a try, donโt you ever wonder why?โ
โI guess Iโll try it, but you will see. This sort of thing is not for me.โ
zip thrrrrrk UNGHHHH
โSay, thatโs not so bad. Say, I feel pretty glad. I DO like things in my butt. Thank you, thank you, Tommy Tutt!โ
amrla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
PhilMan9045 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/PartialCreamyAtlanticsharpnosepuffer
reset_switch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After I've read through a few comments, this post.
mightyfat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being kinky can get complicated when you're a parent
JaxJax88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Loca the Pug https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuO45gqMtPs[]
The_Red_Apple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are you doing?"
ythough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/comment/d9ubcfc?st=J4FQIAOY&sh=8f1f3119 this comment from an r/askreddit post
C14MCH0WD3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My NSFW Hentai post
CIAgent42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A writing prompt about Lycanthropy and me being the first were____. First submission to r/writingprompts in that thread, and I'd call it a success.
Darrida2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This goal.
coys
fluffybunny645 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a sample of one from my large favorited collection
Gacode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A performance artist let strangers fondle her vagina and breast. I use that to masturbate at least once a week . I'm on my phone so I can't give the link atm.
pta2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
ENN0RATH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post right here.
FinnsChips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A post from r/Overwatch where some guy recreated a hanzo ulti POTG. it was the greatest thing I've ever seen.
DavefaceFMS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, thought I'd see a lot more porn in here.
100liam100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You control all the giraffes, how do you conquer the world?
punxcatsx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the red part for?
OverlySexualCellist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, now! The compendium of amazing shit other people saved is now my favourite thing I've saved.
wakaawak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/youtubehaiku/comments/5xxmha/haikudeans_list_bound/
Makes me laugh every time.
GloriousToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scary things ย
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4kim2f/z/d3fgqap ย
More scary things ย
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/58y78d/z/d945axk ย
Learn things ย
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1hb8qo/z/caso6bx ย
Learn a skill ย
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1sn8ki/z/cdz9lyf ย
Read translated novels from JP/KR/CH ย
https://www.reddit.com/r/manga/comments/2ccfkv/z/cje8wt1 ย
Other than the amount of porn that I really need to unsave, I really like lists.
Since i have hard time choosing I'll say this one is my favorite
TheCakeBaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread, now.
Insanitychick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This song https://www.reddit.com/r/FolkPunk/comments/6fv2xn/average_joey_anarchists_who_dont_do_anything_i/?st=J4FQO7EK&sh=50362d8f
FilthyWallower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this
https://www.reddit.com/r/SympatheticMonsters/comments/65lsb3/nightmares_they_frighten_everybody/?st=J4FQQNXU&sh=d5774a42
DaisyDot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/a/ATaGL nsfw for sexy sexy man booties.
M_E_R_C_U_R_Y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS is now my favorite saved thread. Thanks for compiling all the cool, funny, interesting shit for me, everyone.
FeebTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gorge get ipod nano
Freedom1015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A link to a site that gives examples of spurious correlations.
exitstagecentre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit "turned Spanish" for this guy.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it
v1kingfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy tries to sell his koala makes for a hilarious Craigslist post
JohnLeeMark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's an interesting website nobody knows about?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know about the saved section.
LANA_WHAT_DangerZone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/6hvd7f/ommunism_not_even_once/?st=J4FQVZI0&sh=7708fd03
ranger910 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me personally it is this post. It really changed my perspective of the world
rahsftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The askreddit thread that was meant to be about redditors who dated celebrities where the OP posted it and later found that he had received like a hundred comments about Eminem's daughter.
dipdippity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This article from and about a german soccer player
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An AskReddit thread about mathematical facts which helped me pass last years' math.
That or the comment of the guy who was subscribed to /r/Mia_Diaz defending paedophilia. I saved it to go harras him every once in a while but forgot about it.
SergeantSanchez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nsfw https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5jomva/what_dinosaur_would_be_the_hardest_to_approach_in/?st=J4FQY41X&sh=7a158530
spraykrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ZTv1mPX.jpg?1
Ozgilead1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The copious amounts of porn.
Xerciss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The askreddit thread that devolved into nothing but stories about an ice cream truck hitting a juggler in a unicylce.
cmdrenta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif found in /r/gifs - http://www.gfycat.com/EthicalResponsibleAiredale
BusDriver2Hell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a long time fan of Boarderlands this IAMA always makes me laugh. https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/13gsxi/iama_mister_torgue_and_will_answer/
LostGundyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be 'Wow, such empty'
Mr_Meninist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/1732/
CasulScrublord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. Haven't seen many of these things now I have them all and it can keep growing
Roxas-The-Nobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through my saved and found this
It was the only save that wasn't a DIY, Recipe Gifs or BuildaPC related.
decampdoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now...
Grimsterr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/HuntsvilleAlabama/comments/2gnsrv/i_have_nailed_surins_thai_coconut_soup/ <- 2 years later and still haven't made it.
AlfredoTony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would someone give OP gold for asking this question? Lol
UmbreHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy completely flipped out at people who put bacon and other things on grilled cheese on r/grilledcheese because they're melts, not grilled cheese. The whole post is hilarious.
iagove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dress
Bit old, but it finally gives me an explanation!
Fellow_Infidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Things that kids shouldn't see
Elliptical_Tangent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder_RPG/comments/5hxnmk/what_are_your_lpts_for_pathfinder/db4h4p3/
weissvictoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post from r/ambien. Possibly NSFW
Feracon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know you could "save" things.
Gilds_for_nudes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post ;D Thanks for the gold mine
BeardedTitan2115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F_8qaQ3DD0
mappersdelight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/linky_links
lives4summits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 penis guy AMA
Letracho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of the "Saved" section, it bothers me that you can only have a limited number of things saved. For example, if your list is maxed out, and you save something new, the very last link at the end of your list will disappear. That is so stupid.
JoshuaTheBastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This little cartoon about contradictions in the bible. It's crude, but it gets the point across in a very clever way.
Pls_No_Ban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post in r/greentext
The_Real_Abe_Lincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Butts
desmone1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I WISH I could tell you. Since i have maybe about 1,000 items in there and reddit has NO WAY of easily searching or displaying them It's kinda tough to look through them.
MattyMatheson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this whole post needs saving.
Babyface_faceshooter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i saved my first ever hate comment that i revised
Karmais_a_bitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This comment thread.
RandomMexicanDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
Oncey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://iiiiiiii.com/
seabass4507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Breakcore Song
BrennanT_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif always makes me laugh https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/3l5c46/cops_are_crazy_in_this_game/?st=J4FRNAVY&sh=a20a3939
half-wizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might just be this sucker: https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/3wy6pd/lpt_what_to_do_when_your_partner_has_a_crush/
Some of the best advice I've ever seen regarding relationships. Teaching people how to be real about shit and not just jealous and reactionary.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They targeted gamers! GAMERS!
https://www.reddit.com/r/KotakuInAction/comments/3o68ia/%22%5BFeminists%5D_did_it_to_scientists%2C_they_did_it_to_sports_-_the_Gamers_were_the_first_group...that_really_fought_back...they_like_to_win...they_were_not_the_right_group_to_pick_a_fight_with%22_-_Christina_Hoff_Sommers/cvukxx8/
Orcson1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "Prettier" Trilogy. A girl writes a creepy post on r/LetsNotMeet about her childhood friend and his pedophile father, ends up continuing the story and telling a beautiful story about her and her friends lives 20 years later.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/5051gm/prettier/?ref=share&ref_source=link
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/60ivji/little_lover_kitten/?ref=share&ref_source=link
That and kevin.
banal_animal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the porno pics. Too many to list. ;)
potatoslasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this beautiful masterpiece right here
geocitiesatrocities ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is this mysterious save feature you speak of?
OccasionAvenue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The r/AskReddit thread about "what's one picture you can't see without laughing?"
juiciest87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT - people saying "this thread"
nifka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3w3k8s/my_cousin_is_a_preschool_teacher_and_asked_her/?st=J4FRQAM6&sh=66906dda
I die laughing at this every time.
jaggeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/boardgames/comments/551nfu/a_website_that_gives_you_a_wide_variety_of_theme/
McBlaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dogs ears are prone to frostbite, so he needs to wear a snood outside. https://imgur.com/LbGqUAj
Browngirlsonlyplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black chicks having sex with white guys
Cyqix_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "Blue Chicks having sex with white guys".... Smurf Hentai Exposed?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU FUCKING RETARD
Lotsofcum1029384756 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The login credentials to ideepthroat, lol.
nikkitgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread I met my soulmate in
MaintenanceMan1085 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The swamps of dagobah........... I mighty horrendous story about a woman with excruciating pain in her abdomen. NSFW!!!!!!!
Browngirlsonlyplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would watch that haha
CocoDaPuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why โI Have Nothing to Hideโ Is the Wrong Way to Think About Surveillance.
Everyone in the
USworld should read this.Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/3yib56/why_i_have_nothing_to_hide_is_the_wrong_way_to/cydrkni/
TaurineLine719 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the boys
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
HankTheTank124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may be too late to the show by now, but someone posted this man gobbling at turkeys a while ago and it never fails to make me laugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9zvgcOrTtw
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late to the party but this comment from the NFL subreddit always cracks me up
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/na2fo/official_rnfl_complain_about_your_team_thread/c37ha0v/
soaringtyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a saved section?
GlassArrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and many of us use these threads to utilize it!
Party-of-fun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is now...
sluttttt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I apparently only have 4 posts saved, but this would probably be my favorite, because it combines many of my favorite things.
EmperorKira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Gorge2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This link:
https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/
backstept ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now it's this thread . . .
six2midnite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a bunch of naked girls.
My upvoted folder is the SFW stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/1ldjjt/so_im_a_collegeeducated_28_year_old_male_and_i/
juanbautistajryabadu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only one people sees this, it'll be worth it to comment so late on this thing:
https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guide on tricking your friends into thinking you have your shit together
cysghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I now have this thread saved.
Mr_Simba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this comment left me with nothing but the poop in my butt!
25sittinon25cents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of now, this post
truth__bomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
from_dust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/40rso6/what_little_known_fact_do_you_know/
sophie_fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This tumblr page about ather duaghter incest stories.
Fartikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
www.wanwan.moe
aquaticsnipes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spicy
prakasheragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post!!! So META much Wow!
AngelaOverThere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I a saving this post so I have all the saved saves.
bacasarus_rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked this video so much back in the day that I created a Reddit account just to save it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOXpvYpUkpM
MajorStupidity11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty positive that this one is my most obscure, but regardless..
Dubbx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's all porn. all of it. hentai too.
Sknowles90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This post.
Fartikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.nicememe.website
http://www.nicememewebsite.website
http://www.nicememewebsitewebsite.website
http://www.nicememewebsitewebsitewebsite.website
http://www.nicememewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsite.website
http://www.nicememewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsite.website
http://www.nicememewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsitewebsite.website
redtoasti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classic
rdiaz2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I just checked mine and the first story was one that broke MY HEART IN HALF. So there's that.
Bruno_balotelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's now this post ๐
gingeau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video from a norwegian tv show.
MagicalUnicorn420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
IFreakinLovePi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This .gif from r/redneckengineering:
http://i.imgur.com/4Q8HSNw.gifv
wheresmyknowledge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now
nuclearunclear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post definitely is going in my saved section!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, this thread.
MrZephy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got two: this and this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The man with two penises. NSFW obviously.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1u75hh/i_am_the_guy_with_two_penises_ama/?st=J4FSF2MU&sh=3a1f30f5
iitiiyii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5r7ujg/reddit_in_contrast_to_the_hurtful_comment_thread/dd53yj8/
ridger5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old gold
83xlxinsocal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/59xo2x/well_that_is_one_way_to_pass_the_time_during_a/?ref=share&ref_source=link
mjj1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dear phoenix
i meant to have you sooner but i just been busy
you said your center's good now how far along is he
look im really flattered that you've waited for me like that
and here's an autograph i wrote it on the salary cap
im sorry i didnt let you in i musta missed you
dont think i did that shit intentionally just to diss you
but whats this shit you said you like to play 3 PGs too
i say that shits just clownin dog cmon how fucked up is you
you got some issues suns i think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down somethin
and whats this shit about us meant to be together
thats the type of shit thatll make me not want us to meet each other
i really think you and dragic need each other
but maybe you just need to treat him better
i hope you get to read this letter i just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself
i think youll be doing just fine
if you relax a little
im glad i inspire you but suns why you so mad try to understand that i do want you as a team
i just dont want you to do some crazy shit
i saw this one shit on the news a week ago that made me sick
some team was drunk and traded its players away for picks
and had its team in the playoffs and was starting to click
and in the car they found a tape but it didnt say who it was to
come to think about it, his name was
it was you
damn
PEPPERONI_PEN15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Anuanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is now my new favorite saved section.
apullin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this post that criticizes Chris Hanses during an AMA.
TonyDanzaCEO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/fhLJoGE.gif
I forget about this for a while, rediscover, laugh again. It's a beautiful cycle.
Stiggles4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll probably be this post because it's the best of Reddit I'm guessing
contra_band ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i always forget about the saved feature, so there's only 2 links in there. here's the better one:
http://imgur.com/gallery/D8nGf
extremepants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/ql0Kr_8HbZQ I know it's probably fake but I like to tell myself it isn't, also that laugh always makes me smile
EveningBlunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably some piece of gay pornography. I'm simple.
kevonicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ed Asner thug life https://youtu.be/ogWRgVUbxOo
ECU_BSN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/PeopleFuckingDying/comments/6bkymc/baby_sacrificed_to_god/?st=J4FSPBDP&sh=2d492e0b
from_dust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2guikf/how_would_you_dispose_of_the_body/ckmml63/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. It's a list of phrases... I'm not sure how I found it but...
Also This Amazing list of useful things that you can find online.
Agoonga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I had huge hair. Turns out its a huge head.
And this song parody comment chain from What's the trashiest thing you've seen in public? [NSFW]
Alek-Houdini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Xawjer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girls tied up
kakatak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember saving this but I'm pretty happy with it. Thread.
DouginatorSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surfs pup
abetr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't know. Can't figure out how to get into my saved items from the app.
ItsValor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably my all time favorite: https://imgur.com/TCcAioG.gifv
ZX_Ducey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/xoMZv
omgflyingbananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This interstellar post
https://www.reddit.com/r/interstellar/comments/6ha3lr/the_robots_from_interstellar_were_assholes/?st=J4FSUO63&sh=3b96bb03
CinnabarSurfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/26ltvj/what_overlooked_fact_from_a_movie_will_completely/chsjz3y
On mobile, so link might not work, but this backstory about Gaston from Beauty and the Beast never fails to make me laugh.
arcoventry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/4hsjkg/why_isnt_it_ok_to_be_average/d2s8t4m/
bubbav22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sticker for the towel dispenser that tells to please to ask for a towel.
Wooshio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That cat tripping the toddler, I like to see it once a week at least; http://i.imgur.com/S5SjOnn.gifv
combatTraginis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
KhalMorgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A picture of to my eyes, the most perfect women to have ever lived...... With her titties out
mountaintop123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
PM_ME_PANTY_IN_MOUTH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imaginary son
Kids planning a divorce
Poem for your Sprog's sex life
And my favourite The King's English
jacyerickson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy Fieri baby picture: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3vo3qx/guy_fieri_baby_picture/
thabeanster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread itself. Full of absolute gems!
nicolosih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a big section for me but this one takes the win
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6cek8a/when_youre_feeling_great_but_your_hotel_mirror/
srouji6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tittydrop
thatguymike7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
IamBatman777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypasta/comments/16d8qw/goatman
The goatman story. It's super creepy but also really cool
mirrrac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Paffmassa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment making a prediction for the next twist in the 2016 saga.
totesjuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care how late I am, everyone who likes Bob's Burgers should see this.
www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/5ssnzs/john
stoljosipt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well hello
Kuratagi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
jarmstrong413 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ocean sunfish rant. Look it up.
Element_Echo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:00 on August 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
I_can_pun_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
SLIMgravy585 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the jar jar binks conspiracy. It is now my religion link
kenman884 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/youtubehaiku/comments/4ykm0q/haikui_believe_i_can_fly/
stirredturd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The recently posted list of songs ideal for testing out headphones.
mora82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story of a guy who rediscovered himself after a motorcycle trip up to Alaska with his buddy.
4rch1t3ct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe/
This post hands down. That or the most eloquently written post about someone farting on a kids head.
djenuch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gif of will smith's kid learning stuff.
krymsonkyng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/wanderingbishop 's story about Garg and Moonslicer.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2mjhz9/what_would_happen_if_an_intelligent_greatsword/cm4xnl6/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about anal. Come, Simba. I will teach you the ways of the hung gay tops.
Word will get around that you have a huge cock. There will be plenty of bottoms who say they want to take you. There will be few that can actually let you in to play hard. Those are the boys you are after.
Your job as a hung top is to get your bottom to relax. It's not all about more lube. It's all about more breathing. Boys get nervous when they're taking a cock. Especially a huge one.
People hold their breath when they get nervous. Holding your breath causes muscles to tense up. The asshole is a muscle. It needs to relax to open up and get fucked.
You have to get your boy to breathe. First go slow and make him feel comfortable and protected. Your job as a top is to protect your bottom, bottoms want to feel they are in the hands of a strong, protective man. Take it slow. Make out with him. Then slowly start to finger him.
A good trick is to gently touch his hole, then put your finger in his mouth. He'll know what's up then. He'll suck on your finger and get it wet. Take the wet finger and put it back on his hole and gently play with it.
You're not trying to get a finger in his ass.m so much, as you're slowly introducing him to the idea that he can open his hole and trust you to protect him as you play with it. Make out with him as you gently play with his hole - again - not forcing a finger in, just playing with his asslips and introducing the idea that his hole is yours ;)
Then, fuckin Rim him. Just go to town and fuckin make out with his ass. Have him 69 you with his hole sitting on your face and him sucking your cock. Again, we are establishing that your cock is going to be doing business with his hole, and he can open up and trust you. Totally make out with that hole and get your tongue in there. This is where you really loosen him up. Let your tongue pave the way for your cock. He'll be moaning and opening up to get your tongue deeper in. Now it's game time.
Throw on a condom (practice this. I can have a condom open, on my cock, dick lubed, one handed in the dark in about 3 seconds flat...) get that condom on (you'll need magnums or better) and get your cock nice and lubed.
This next part is important; put lube IN his hole, not ON his hole. Make out with him while you gently work some lube up inside him.
Ask him if he's ready (or, when you get some more Dom confidence tell him 'I'm going to fuck you now')
Put your cock to his hole, grab him by the neck and take a deep breath. Let him feel you breathe deeply and tell him "BREATHE. I want you to breathe DEEP." Set the example by breathing deeply and he will match you. Slide the head in.
He will tense up and hold his breath. You are the top. You are in control here. Your job is to protect your bottom. Tell him to fucking BREATHE. Keep breathing deep and tell him again BREATHE. Slide another inch in and hold it there. Let him adjust to the cock. He wants to take you. He craves it. But he needs time to adjust. Just hold it there. No in and out, just holding and breathing and words of encouragement from you.
Slide another inch in and hold and breathe. Repeat. Still no in and out. Just slow in and hold, breathe. Slow in a little more, hold, breathe. He's opening up now. When you get all the way in, hold it for an extra long moment. Tell him how good he's doing. Start to slowly push in a little harder, and then ease off. No in and out, just pressure, no pressure. Pressure, no pressure.
You're stretching him here and getting him ready. You're also getting his hole used to the full depth of your cock. But taking a cock in isn't the hardest thing for him to get used to. It's the withdrawal when you out stroke. But that can be intensely pleasureful for him too. If you do if right.
Start with one inch. Go from balls deep to one inch out. Back to balls deep. One inch out. Balls deep. Slowly work up to two. Slowly. Watch that out stroke. Let him get used to it. Slowly start taking more of your cock out, and go back to balls deep. After a few minutes of this? He'll be loose and moaning, and fucking begging for it.
Then? Fuckin go to town brah. Wreck that ass. You've earned it. You can use it as hard as you want.
Trust me bro, I've fucked a lot of boy ass. Bottoms love huge cocks. You just gotta work for it and get them loose. And remember to tell them to fuckin BREATHE.
mistermatth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid:
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4hvmad/my_cousins_friend_let_her_son_wear_this_hoodie_on/?st=J4FTEXNL&sh=dfae7397
sustainosapien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is now this thread... thank you :)
ColdVergil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real strong women..
-SuperTrooper- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread with everyone else's favorite saved stuff
Ankle_Fetish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This really hot girl with this really big cock all the way down her throat while the guy cums.
1000990528 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"State trooper shows you how to make meth"
And he uses the most inefficient and dangerous method he could think of ๐๐๐
Erebdraug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to this thread, but Soon I will be gone forever, but that's okay as long as someone reads this on r/GetMotivated, read it if you haven't, it may well change your outlook on life
Gubblesmucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
atd285 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorites! What are some simple things you can do to make yourself more attractive?
igame2much ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CERTAINLY NOT PORN...
Taskforce58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today you... Tomorrow me
Jihad_llama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment
HippedLocket507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This always makes me think.
ElHamamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
_Gorge_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Drunkintiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This!
Zoze13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post!
EmeraldFlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this fucking parody comment
UnderwaterPianos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl masturbating with a lightsaber.
Yup.
Breezeshooter42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A comment from an Askreddit about the Celery Man
winningelephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gif/comments/5nxa2y/bacon_dripping_on_an_open_fire/
It's the only gif I can actually smell. And it smells incredible.
cliffjoseph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
NicPhoenix27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed
mangoworkedout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/hldiOJk.gifv You've gotta watch this
jrhaberman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Norwegian School Children
Uggs_Prototits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm amazed nobody's posted this gem of history, The legend of Juandiego Montoya
studypizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
DCAg15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing in my saved section that's made me laugh every time is Kevin
MisfitSkull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Pd527GN48 WW1 footage with the most creepy music i've ever heard playing over it. its both beautiful and also absolutely horrifying.
TheCheesenOne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT:All the links that I'm gonna save.
stickman393 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of now, this post right here.
surferninjadude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn. a lot of profound and inspirational saves, where as mine is filled with all of the nsfw and I intend on viewing later when I get home from work
FiggyDiggz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/pdCLcwL.jpg Sfw and I love good design. It's a greenhouse.
Aunti3_Matter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two Wisconson actors that claimed to be professional strongmen on morning TV. The funniest thing I've seen all year.
lilzmoez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a huge list of japanese metal bands to check out and a list of comic books to read
SuperOtter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/fitmeals/comments/u27e5/buffalo_chicken_dip_proteinlow_cal/?st=j4fttylo&sh=e78a326b
This buffalo chicken dip recipe. It was posted years ago and I still make it for every party. I've gotten so many compliments on it.
erroy_ooporrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
**Time to get your little one in the entire universe where I store them all for when I'm not at work I save things all the parents drop their kids off at my glorious dicktent, and then back to offering rides habitually.
KeybladeSpirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about the relationship between the rap Grillz, Hillary Rodham, and the rap community of 2005.
I hope /u/BashyLaw found the answers he was seeking.
TheMagicNoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/6jrmjj/anon_goes_to_see_a_movie/?st=J4FU0YUW&sh=7e8cfa24
cuttincows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My collection of futanari hentai, all of it.
worgenhairball01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FTYGY5&sh=a547bd91
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kanis hupen
timskaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
asspirin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/idBmV5j.jpg
AlternateQuestion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. NSFW gonwild. https://gfycat.com/FamiliarPoorBigmouthbass
JesusClausIsReal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video cracks me up every time, no matter how many times I've seen it.
cdman12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All my hentai and ecchi
xxxSEXCOCKxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4xmcz8/all_olympians_are_required_to_compete_while_drunk/d6gqczz
Drunk monkeys, ostriches, elephants, giraffes. It's amazing
Cjbrick910 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly the weirdest, I lost a bet where I had to subscribe to r/waifu for a month. NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/Waifu/comments/45yj9j/what_i_did_with_my_waifu_on_valentines_day/
ViciousHGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll save This post for later and call it the best saved post I've saved for later.
deadbird17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Useful software and references: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/46v4y5/z/d088s62
shot-in-the-mouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NNOOOOOO!!!!!!
RedWingWoody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about how to live with a man
I still refer to it from time to time.
DaYozzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/58da12/phil_what_the_frick_did_you_just_do/
sid_killer18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dot
Uula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is now one of my favourite things. A meta-save.
air4orce1z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Robot/Non-robot is awesome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXO-jKksQkM
mainescoming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Ashybear21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/1oydb7/before_photoshop_there_wasdrew_struzan/?st=J4FU81IK&sh=ac8681be
Let the nostalgia flow through you
thehumanlank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FU8KMT&sh=f198c426
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm ever having a bad day, this gif cheers me up.
YossarianPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/vdFn1S5.gifv
Slotherocious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/66wa5m/my_cousin_playing_around_with_talk_box/?st=J4FU9JRL&sh=065e5838
iheartthejvm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That time Hugo Weaving was the best wingman: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6d53vz/ladies_what_is_the_most_obvious_hint_youve/di0cxsh/
LightVisions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
ElPenedeMuerte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/_0dTG1_x-K8 Made me laugh harder than I have in awhile.
pineapplesonaplane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is now on my 'SAVED' section
lookayoyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Pinca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is from an AskReddit thread 3 years ago about the most interesting older AskReddit threads. It's worth the read.
Eexoduis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well.. mostly porn
MountainDewde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This proposal is pretty sweet.
rahyveshachr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I save almost every iteration of Benedict Cumberbatch I come across.
I also painstakingly went through all of my Saved to bring you some good ones, all stories from AskReddit:
English was not his first language.
A wavepool can kill you.
A Crazy Repo Story
TL;DR Went to save a cat, inadvertently created a 'cat'apult.
Chocolatey Claire and Chocolatey David
The Pirate Ship Breaks Down
NSC745 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this as shaved
slimbino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
kush_in_my_butt_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously nsfw Link
slimCyke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good question. I have literally never looked at my save section.
PmmeVirtueSignals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
AngryLurkerDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Jolly rancher story
Pinca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The vacuum scared of floor gaps.
Sorry for the YouTube link.
jokesonyoucutie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
Thappadpethappad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gigantic firework
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can save posts on Reddit.
natali3ann3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leedle Leedle Lee - Trap Remix
master-cunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi stranger, you can look at my butt
squidbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today you.... tomorrow me.
VamanaGG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this.
wh1036 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/58hae4/what_is_a_piece_of_reddit_history_every_redditor/
A list of some of the best threads in the history of Reddit.
phattsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS 'saved' page provides me with endless redditing
guythatgivesnoshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
verscharren1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/k/ creates a Geese IED https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/6e7s3x/k_creates_a_geese_ied/
throwaway091498 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this post is now my favorite thing in my saved section!
spraynpraygod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, as of now:
SuperMajesticMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lot in my save section so I'll just share something I recently put in there that was good.
https://www.reddit.com/r/youtubehaiku/comments/6j6izs/meme_poetry_the_perfect_mutant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of stuff I don't remember saving. Thanks OP for reminding me to delete it.
Extazium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post now
1ronspider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1XQduS6IfA
shplootle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this thing right here
Doorknob11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/348vlx/what_bot_accounts_on_reddit_should_people_know/?st=J4FUOV13&sh=e4ea8f7b Still funny.
SamuelstackerUSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The great emu war. https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/6jlfis/the_great_emu_war/?st=J4FUQ7QG&sh=b99da604
Give me karma
Vorpx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this comment
NSFW
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5zwzy4/redditors_who_work_in_adult_stores_what_is_the/df1zg9e/
RhetoricalOrator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
C00ps935 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your post, so I can slowly make my way through other people's glorious saved sections.
AlmostVegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
felface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Variation on Brexit for different countries in the EU
Treff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiny Hippo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is about to be my favorite thing in my saved section.
DrongoTheShitGibbon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
accionic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOVELTY ACCOUNTS ASSEMBLE
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post of favourite 'SAVED' things ; )
Fokion_Sanoudos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one. Engineering at its finest.
monsterlynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freaking GREAT. The accent and word-smithing is amazing!
verscharren1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Story to Scare My Son https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2igaa9/a_story_to_scare_my_son/
UglierThanMoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/39u9v0/i_turned_the_favorite_video_10_seconds/
backstagebetty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
fragmentedthoughts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment to familiarize yourself with reddit history.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5m60dj/What_should_every_new_redditor_do%3F/dc1aapn/
NegativeDeadBabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterEveryLoop/comments/6iex2e/clapclapclap/?st=J4FV399V&sh=f6b82125
This gif fucking kills me every time
Am_I_TheStig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
SithFacedDrunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save
zombihazmunchiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "wow, such empty" part.
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would show you if I could view past my last 1000 saves or if Reddit had a search function worth a damn. Not really "saved" if you lose it once you save too much. Worst part is they actually do save all your saves, they just won't show them to you. The only way to see past your last 1000 saves is to delete them to bring the old ones forward.
As1anBeasTagE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this. After seeing GotG 2, I laughed at it for three days.
SashaSemin28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The SCSA typo thread in r/sc
Microwench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either this
or this
JoshuaRAWR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't click if you suffer with epilepsy
Keudn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post always makes my side split https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5fgvta/great_execution_and_form/
mautadine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its probably late to be posting this but whatever I wanted to share.
An hilarious description of someone's student and his family.
A story about the laziest thing someone did.
EDIT: Formatting and words.
bacon31592 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
someonlinecreep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one kills me everytime.
TacticalTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this
I have a lot saved, and it's really hard to pick.
TangentialFUCK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post... lol
retragttuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this post because i really can't stop reading the answers here.
Shitty_Google_Bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jurrasic doggo
jamshush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unexpected
wumbonumber9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this thread
lordochaos321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Video: NSFW I saved this because they said exactly what I've been trying to explain people for years so amazingly. No one realizes this and they put it in a perfect perspective and everything
Davi-Danger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me immature, but this makes me laugh way harder than it should
theRailisGone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is almost enough to make you want to be a sailor.
jaysen_pnm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait, how long has this save feature been around? has it been the entire time and I've just never noticed it?
Ernest_Schemingway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this Thread now, I get the best of everything.
TonyWrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/CJRvw5H.gifv - I found it on /r/holdmyfries but it's funnier every time I watch
edit also this gem: https://i.imgur.com/V1LaIbR.gifv
liquidthc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So this is what Elon is doing
T_Peg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I didn't have 500 million posts saved in there I could tell you
quarryman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lttp on this but I still think I haven't read anything funnier on reddit. The replies just add even more to it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/h4hvf/comment/c1sikdc?st=J4FVMGYY&sh=5cbcff5b
smeaton2veg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha this! this is now my favourite thing in my saved section
Jmtaylormade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those pics of OP's mom.
ifcoughl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/356sal/hi_reddit_im_caroll_spinney_the_puppeteer_who_has/cr1iv2a/
Xenon808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found this from about 7 years ago. NSFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btk1sOBvY5c
Wolf745 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG Just found out there is a save option, Thank you!!!
deadpoolster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do I save? Tx
sansaTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just love Boxcar Joe, the Magic Hobo, even if it might be made up. It's just so awesome, you want it to be true. http://i.imgur.com/4JNg3.jpg
titney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4g9km9/whats_a_joke_thats_so_stupid_its_funny
The best.
blargh257 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/smashbros/comments/5o2r9i/shoutouts_to_blargh/
A thread dedicated to me after I casted some Smash Bros. Melee. Aren't I an egotist?
Rarylith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of hard to say:
First - If you think being gay is a choice...
Second - Prohibition was enormously successful...
Third - NSFW - Marion Duval
Fourth - Obligatory a cat
MUTAN5F ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this post
Terarri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The clutch defensive play when I realized we would win the NCAA Championship. GO HEELS!
TheLivingShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/jjpUU 14 rare photographs from behind the scenes of the Return to Oz.
light0507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4b5aph/what_sounds_extremely_wrong_but_is_actually/d16i34f/
Why your medical tests aren't as accurate as you think
manginahunter70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this post!! Lots of personal gold in here...
dcasarinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this thread
fatclownbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most recently saved comment on ways to help internet searches etc. https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/6jht97/reddit_is_now_the_4th_most_popular_site_in_the_us/djenmxz/
My new favorite gif http://i.imgur.com/Woxp5ZF.gifv
AAANNDD a fake emelia clark gif nsfw
owlbi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment about grief.
I first saw it about a year after my grandmother died and it was one of the truest things I've ever read. It still is. If you've lost someone you'll tear up a bit reading it, but that's not a bad thing.
LauraJ94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is such a good comment
Burkvest71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The plight of being a man. click the youtube video in the comment.
vinylpanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did previous generations (say Romans) deal with acne?
Admiral_Ackbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this post so I have all the best saved posts bwahaha
generic_jackass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dog and the ice cream guy!
Freehugs4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
foil-time ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This by far!
Derrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Using Reference Effectively" by Miles Johnston
A_Reasonable_Man_98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread, now.
Scary-Brandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now its probably this post
SoundsLikeTreble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved this whole thread
Reddit_masterwizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now
techmanjoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why you should carry a watermelon everywhere you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5yyq27/what_items_do_you_think_everyone_regardless_of/
samsonizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Riddle-Tom_Riddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Reddit thread is pretty feckin' lit.
the_fucking_doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humans
jmsanzg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't try to throw cats from an airplane to test if they land upside-down or downside-up https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4m9m1s/slug/d3tzrtn
Dr-Vader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2yhxa9/what_fact_did_you_learn_at_an_embarrassingly_late/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/hey_reddit_what_tattoos_do_you_have/c0tpyls
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/
Bad_memory_Gimli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
neccoguy21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An ELI5 of a rectal prolapse: "Sometimes, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, the mommy turns her butt inside out".
Even just typing it now I'm losing my shit... It's so fucking funny
alittlenonsense ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember saving this, but: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5qwwxo/what_are_the_best_questions_to_ask_to_get_to/dd34k3c
tired-goddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i love ethan and hila
Nuke_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...there is a saved section to reddit?
TarAldarion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I don't know, i tried to go back through them all and discovered reddit only lets you see 1000, even if you delete the ones above it.
If you have gold you can see 1000 per subreddit, alas I do not. If I ever get some I will be diligent and save everything i can from all that debauchery.
Loreki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My saved is an extensive collection of /r/rarepuppers. It is too hard to choose, they're all good dogs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how_to_automatically_delete_all_your_reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/DecidingToBeBetter/comments/2kwmv4/how_to_automatically_delete_all_your_reddit
giraffeteaparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/RtQxCBT
ponyplop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The saved section is where good intentions go to die
devlogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has to be https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1zhasz/if_an_object_screamed_its_name_every_time_it_was/
blaize99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread right here^
iheartchrisyang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best.
cocotheape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/gvQiHuX
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Many Wonders of Reddit
AstoriaGreenweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. Maybe being sick is contributing, but I almost threw up reading the Doritos story
Brusk_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
GeneraleRusso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
I still laugh, 10 years later
SandyLeeAnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a mediocre home baker this was thrilling to find.
future_faking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would have to be my favorite. Link to actual post https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/65q9xn/z/dgcrogv
Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named "Montague."
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. Like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular, claims he's the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of "The world's most interesting man." Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate, and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis, and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia, when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma, and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I'd have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were made that she didn't show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn't deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to go to hell.
That ended that.
I hope Montague eventually found a loving family.
Edit 1: This got a LOT of attention. Your support has been so amazing. I couldn't find any of the original pictures of Montague, BUT, my wife had made a few private in-joke Memes from one of his pound pictures (not a very good one, I am afraid). I put two of them here from Montague's "Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom" phase of our jokes. http://imgur.com/a/9M8UE
Edit 2: Don't go after the pound, that was over 3 years ago, and I wasn't right in the head about my wife's passing. I am sure they have rotated staff. BUT I did get a Siamese rescue last year from a friend of mine who has a farm where people dump cats (long story). Here's some of HER pictures. http://imgur.com/gallery/cLF2O
cjace765 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly think this is an underrated video. I don't know why it's so funny to me it just is https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/5jrfb5/how_to_properly_resist_arrest/?st=J4FX15QQ&sh=f1948750
Gotelc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This D&D rolplaying idea. I pulled it off in my game rather well.
macaronirpg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then how can she explain this!?!?!??
rocketmantan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn.
ziggmuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot dog timmy
II-WalkerGer-II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got this pretty hilarious story
MjauDuuude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
queens guard
roadhogmainOW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a preup?
Muttonhead411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
DisguisedAsHuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this one here
3lvenrs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now, its this post
tiger203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gif from r/creepygifs of a girl playing on the ground with toys. Beside her, a long, spindly, black hand creeps out from under her bed, hesitates, and grabs the girl by the leg and whisks her under the bed. It cracks me up every time I see it.
Putins_Masseuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JbQ-om9Z4Rc The best road rage happening in Russia of course
Aldrai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party again, but it was a post by /u/gxace. https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/19k9a1/i_cannot_bend_any_of_my_fingers_so_there_have/
sleepingnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ambien craziness https://www.reddit.com/r/ambien/comments/4nhw6o/i_dont_want_to_get_up/?st=J4FXGQP5&sh=048720dc
uberdreww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far this one.
coolfir3pwnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this mac-and-cheese recipe that's literally gotten me laid before but now I'm bullied into making it every time someone wants to throw a party for no fucking reason
raydialseeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The floss and masturbate thread.
Juanga07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Post!
formlex7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made a nice little museum for myself of stupid people being highly upvoted for arguing Bernie Sanders will win after he clearly lost.
also this meme https://i.redd.it/te533mq0d3px.jpg
Whitlow14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I havenโt even gone through this post, stuck at work, but itโs already my favorite thing in my saved section.
OptixAura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/a/lkiup
dothackslash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
b1gtym1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/X0UQ2eW.gif
celticcelery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to save this post so I can favorite more posts
symphonicdestruction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now it's this thread.
leafyjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Halloween comes around I love the questions that ask haunted house workers about their favorite experiences. This one is so perfect.
Terakahn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This thread.
Rikiaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/oblivion/comments/5zmmio/out_of_boredom_i_decided_to_use_the_skull_of/?st=J4FXSVVA&sh=57425263
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is my favorite game of all time and this is part 1 of one of the greatest stories I've heard about the game. It involves the player and an unkillable super overpowered clone of his character fighting each other over and over.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now I have this post saved
Crispy_socks241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i do'nt know, its all a bunch of crossdressing photos, pages and pages of them. i have no idea how they got there.
potatoman96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, always makes me smile
IgnatiousBlackward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the porn I keep there.
fairlybinary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right now, this post.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it's this post. It's a fucking gold mine!
foxfire1112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it kinda sucks now. It's now 70% people saying "this post"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol fair enough! If you wanna downvote my comment, I don't mind :)
foxfire1112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol no im just saying i feel like im late to the party
sollast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
iamkingdingdong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread...
Foxlust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my first saved post and it will be glorious
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
flipybcn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this post
Luap_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vargas' absolutely hilarious film review of Fifty Shades Darker:
https://www.reddit.com/r/vargas/comments/5txs7u/my_review_of_fifty_shades_darker_which_was/
malikdwd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one
Kalwyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right here.
Bryggyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're just goofy anime related websites but damn it I love them. They're part of a thread that basically was just about hilariously useless anime related websites.
Listerine_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The old thread https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/?st=J4FY9NNL&sh=b77c35bd Secrets that could ruin your life.
drteq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/BWJsK4s
Paithen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This askreddit question.
Mr44Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The porn industry has its own Hollywood. Not far from Hollywood, the San Fernando Valley (sometimes known as Silicone Valley) in Los Angeles, CA, is home to most of the major porn studios in the United States. At one point in time, it is believed that 90% of all legally-distributed porn was filmed or produced there. Like other films, most mainstream porn is filmed on sets. The San Fernando Valley is full of rental houses that major studios rent to shoot their movies. If you watch enough porn, you eventually start to recognize the rooms from the same set of houses over and over in each movie. This actually makes it really easy to search for videos if you're looking for specific details. It's so predictable that I can take a look at a scene set in a bathroom and immediately tell if it has a rubber ducky in it. Edit: I threw together an album of one of my favorite mansions since it had one of my favorite rubber ducks sitting in it for around 6 years (and dozens of pornos!). Here are a few screenshots from the scenes (NSFW).
ledel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oldie but a goodie. Story of DnD and confusion of what a word means.
Eric and the Dread Gazebo
Carudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
OwnedARG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this post
Sandarkabarka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sitewide meltdown on Nov 9 was save worthy. I still laugh from time to time at the irrational hate one man can bring about from people.
botulizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This four-year-old TIFU has been my answer to this question and any question like it since the day it was posted
louimcdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A joke from an ask reddit about stereotypes that exist around countries
"I'm a German and everyone thinks we're racist but racism is bad and bad things are for jews"
Bumrodgers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's were the porn lives
EngelbertHerpaderp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.....saved....section? You mean...like...saving a link on our desktop?
Doctor_Oceanblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite funny thing is this and my favorite serious thing is this. The second one is among my all-time favorite Reddit stories. I want to make an illustration based on it.
handlema8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not porn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answers to the "what would your personal heaven be?" questions. I keep fine-tuning my answers.
seegodada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The epic story of Kevin
I go back and read it every now then just to remind myself that, thankfully, I'm not the dumbest person in the world.
vithiasorrows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this comment from /u/TruckerTimmah gets my goat every time I read it
Derpybro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That Iama from the dude with two dicks.
Assiqtaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a 'SAVED' section? o.o
y2k2r2d2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This saved
denkiwi17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/ It's a nice collection of saved posts of random redditors.
FearrGaeligeBriste1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
christoffer1917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
king-guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/_ZIgLop-FwI execute order 66
iGotTheApp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eva Notty Lifeguard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/6exixg/my_blind_foster_kitten_getting_off_the_cat_condo/
This blind cat problem solving like a boss!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/classicalmusic/comments/1170qm/ill_like_to_know_the_famous_composers_better_ive/c6jwzaa/
spacin_mason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today you...tomorrow me, Dealing with Death, Kevin, My last tie, Turns out there's a lot of favorites saved in there..
y0ungsinatra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section now
PolarDorsai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
FGHIK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one, def
Any-sao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but this thread.
itsthemoney27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment showing what is effectively wrong with social media nowadays, specifically a post from /r/pics. Warning: It's a pretty unpopular opinion.
sillykatz11231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post so I can see everyone's favorite saved things.
DarkSlaughter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now it's this post.
Glorx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story about a lazy OPS on a military ship.
Manos_Of_Fate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved time and avoided cluttering up my saved threads by saving this one.
pleasekillmi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about favorite, but this is the oldest thing in my saved section, and I have no idea why it's there.
https://youtu.be/4NBHyWwZoN8
_monochromia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From Chris Hadfield's AMA. I left my dead end first job and dived straight in to applying for my dream job because of what I read.
g1rea1bs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its probably going to be this post now.
snabela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
conniving boyfriend breaks up with cheating fiancรฉ
patriot1889 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3oqj4a/which_song_is_most_improved_when_all_occurrences/?st=J4FZKBLL&sh=956212d9
metaknight95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This by far
"Look at the hands bro! Look at the hands bro! Look at the hands bro!"
arvidodd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
nickbhe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
flaminggandu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if I told you that I saved this post?
ihasbuttcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedoutcome/comments/1dfsr6/road_trip/?st=J4FZPSK2&sh=a4573bcb
jayredditson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I go back to this post at least once every couple of months. It reminds me to love and cherish my wife and be thankful for the life I have. Link
DOORSARECOOLISTAKEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/OYBZrRCCrXE
grizzly-grr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is now my favorite
n_cuSPS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
Azmah21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this thread
Am_Navi_Seel_Mann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this marked as NSFW?
CircularPastry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because Reddit.
Am_Navi_Seel_Mann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Title says "The narrator keeps flirting with the reader.." from r/Writing Prompts
outlined_lizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this post from a previous ask thread dubbed Parents of Reddit, what's the dumbest thing your kid has done? Camp counselor here (parent for spoiled kids whose parents don't know what to do with their kids when school is out). One of my kids, was looking really distraught so I went over and asked him what was wrong. "I lost my nutsack" he sobbed. I fight back a giggle look down and ask him what it looks like so maybe I can help him find it. "Well, it is black and it looks like Sam's". I am almost losing my shit as I bend down and pick up the disc golf bag that he is looking for. It had been sitting on the ground right next to his bed as he didn't even look for it before he declared it lost. For those of you unfamiliar with the savage sport of frolf, one carries their discs in a special bag, one of the main brands is a "nutsack" Time I found my camper's black nutsack...
Isis_the_Goddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some folks are sharing meaningful, profound and useful posts here.
I have this guy with two dicks, and lady with two vaginas.
So there's that. NSFW.
SmashBrosGuys2933 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/DarkTales/comments/3pb5tg/we_were_wrong_about_the_zombie_apocalypse/?st=j4fzxb76&sh=6f12f667
One of my favourite stories.
Derk_cone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we have a saved section?
Squires86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved this thread so I know what other people save to their saved section.
SOFA_KING_FUTURE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. Just saved it and now I have so many other great saved posts!
Sebastions_Cloaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot about that section completely until now. An article about Interstellar. Speaking of which, just watched the movie last night for the first time. I thought it was strange, yet delightful.
RKellyyourmomsface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgOCATWRLug&feature=youtu.be
dj_destroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just save things, I don't actually look at them.
reavesfilm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... not porn. Why would it be porn?!
alrightimhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the interesting stuff I've found in this thread, it is now my favorite thing in my saved section.
-Thatfuckingguy- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexy brunette giving head gif
breachgnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most recent favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bsASIl1sjw&feature=youtu.be
Musical favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fegs-XVKgnM
Holy shit this is interesting as fuck favorite: https://imgur.com/gallery/mpUge
Meme fave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP5J6a14CR0
All time favorite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xqaw18f2zsY
RikaBaF27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now it's this post.
kynes_piece ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnI4zwJ5dS4&app=desktop
Neo_Vexos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just all porn.
MasterOfTheForge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread babyyyy.
phoenixdon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
ebamit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
eyelyklaer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
nullions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite: list of the best saved items on reddit.
sixseven89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my god this gets me every time
PhilosopherJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These birds with this music
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/4kjayc/these_birds_made_me_laugh/?st=j4g0le5p&sh=a62cbd3a
direct: https://vine.co/v/iIXF6d9Kvnv
Taz_P ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2ujlmn/swedish_humour_at_its_finest/?utm_content=comments&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
ANAL_fishsticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I just saved this, if that counts.
amirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Traversing the solar system at the speed of light: https://youtu.be/1AAU_btBN7s
kpmaher15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
Imakedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/BF32vwp.gif Kitty watching minecraft gameplay.
IrnBroski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a lot of good stuff in here
TheSwedishExperience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6a0l2m/comment/dhaugrm?st=1Z141Z3&sh=d9198c0b
Raw_Venus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't pick just one, so here all the one I like
Long live the King GIF
Sovites won the space race WP
Managment
Marry Fucking Christmas
The sword of memory
Fallout themed wallpapers
This dragon thing
YOLOSTEVE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/97jht/i_hate_my_job/ This is one of the best things I've ever read on reddit.
xphoidz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
historynerd86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb question, I know I can save posts but I do I get to them on Reddit app?
mamazep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now it's this post...
joeftzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gea1e/what_are_the_most_beautiful_pieces_of_classical/
TheBrODST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He Bruce Almighty-d him....
cornonthekopp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a list of spices you need to make curry, but I've never tried it.
Silveraxolotl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why I love this so much, but it's the best thing there.
mylifeisaparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that would make sense based on the video. Thanks!!
Kiwispam84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Cry Everytime
thanks /u/RandomScreenNames
bigc1212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
Imagine_Baggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com/
papa_bear_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
bdonthewing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved this thread so I could come back and see what everyone else was saving! Mine is mostly NSFW stuff, admittedly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right here https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
Fokion_Sanoudos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Very video of his channel is great like that. I suggest you watch them. That's what I did at least.
Zacho666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ulCY21q.gifv
thetallestjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this thread
Dawidko1200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The diary of a German soldier during the Battle of Stalingrad. Really gives some insight at how the attitude changed about the cause and Hitler. He calls him Fuhrer at first, but in the end just calls him Hitler, because he doesn't care.
Kukuxupunku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got nothing to add but this thread is amazing. The Amanda story, grandma flashing on Facebook, escaping murderous snails, and hilarious cat gifs. Next time a question like this comes around, I'll link this thread.
MetalGearSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this furby being split in half with a creepily life like reaction in its eyes
dadiator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://twitter.com/pizza_suplex/status/850379783515013121
NeNo1313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
List of NSFW sub reddits
alphasingularity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this.
Lolcatz101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically NSFW also SPOILERS!!!!!!
For those that HAVEN'T seen it yet, this is Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 1 The Rickshank Rickdemption. Enjoy!
Dongo666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My collection of Katy Pery butt .gifs.
Thomasjg88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll keep coming back to this.
McBlemmen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't realize that was a thing
king_nice7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nicki Minaj twerking๐๐ฆ
patriot_1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prove it
humperndumper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is way less porn on here than I expected....
runlola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW - I saved this from the last time I remember someone asking this question
3sp00py5me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna get buried, but the NoSleep story of Gigi The Coffee girl... I don't know why I saved it. It just stuck with me. Terribly sad story, well written, short. Something I think about often.
kendahlslice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A paper on multi-user online dungeons, the general concepts also to how people approach video games and helped me build an understanding of what different people like about video games.
misterjett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While searching through my saved section I found this and it's chock full of great stuff!
XXxLookAtThesexXX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely Jeff Goldblum doing AMA. He replies exactly how he speaks. It's even better if you read his replied in his voice!
Sergeant_Chubbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For sure it would be this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/cringe/comments/35mu5d/guy_asks_model_what_color_is_her_underwear/?st=J4G2ACGM&sh=2cebab16
The setup, the conversation, the scooter, and the abrupt end. All of these things come together to make something I cant help but laugh at every time I see it
Agmagor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
RockSmashEveryThing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me it has to be /u/Agmagor. He is my favorite redditor.
arcanefox3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Praise Pope Horse M.D! Follower of Satan! https://www.reddit.com/r/CrusaderKings/comments/5y5h6k/praise_pope_horse_md_follower_of_satan/
Jebus_UK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is now
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFMR:
https://www.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/6dn6yi/when_i_asked_my_wife_how_do_you_mean_hdmi_pins/di41efe/?utm_content=permalink&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
reply 1:
eatsfishforbreakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. There was "save" button under a topic all along.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gem.
Squeaky_Pickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be the freaky pelican. It always freaks me out.
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5ci0wu/pelicans_have_the_weirdest_yawn/
Naticus105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This response to a writing prompt: https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/25cvaq/wp_reimagine_a_fairy_tale_but_tell_it_as_though/chfzlss/
rengreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat dunking https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5gwvyk/cat_dunking/?st=J4G2SPBK&sh=9ad8d2eb
griffith12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
RadicalEwok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/4e2kh2/keith_richards_looks_like_hoggle_from_the/?utm_content=comments&utm_medium=user&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage
kittymam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5u7p2d/why_did_you_name_me_lily/?st=J4G2ZSZ3&sh=b7326d82
This is by far my favorite joke on Reddit. The end always gets to me.
darkgalaxypotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This fucking story, it is amazing.
Edit: Please be warned, it's pretty long
DAHAK305 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I just saved a thread that I was linked to by a comment talking about his saved thread in a thread talking about the saved section which I saved too
Saveception...
MussoliniSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naked chick pic album that looks like my crush
happikoto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many questions. I want to see the whole video!
cbessemer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/djggour/
cg201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's now this thread
AsianArnold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hentai
TheLepos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driving into work on a Monday morning https://www.reddit.com/r/BetterEveryLoop/comments/6i642s/driving_into_work_on_a_monday_morning/
otah007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread, apparently.
12567thAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eowiak
phil8248 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how to save things on Reddit and didn't know there was a saved section. But I am old so there's that.
otah007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody's Circulation - the best mashup you will ever hear, I guarantee it.
_TheAssCrackBandit_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is my favorite thing in my "saved" section. Is that cheating? Maybe, but I don't care
robioreskec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah woah woah, Reddit has saved button? TIL
fostman0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This page, now.
Spikebob21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now? This thread.
The_Crying_Banana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For about 20 minutes the other day it was the map of the Grazer training dummies in Horizon. I deleted it.
sonicandfffan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brdLQo-ReXc
DreamPe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Kickem
totally_boring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread made me go looking for my favorite saved posted and lead me to the discovery that my favorite post was deleted :(
gingerellaellaella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saves this thread for future inspo
Pmoni32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this post. Because it's now a compilation of all other posts.
LittleBlasianKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No reddit post for this but someone on reddit linked it to me so ?????
Pokemon GSC Is What I Like
TossMyBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just saved this thread...
stvb95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Rogan doing an impression of Brendan Schaub's baby
Caelanv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's so much in there, it would take me like 6 months for me to sort through it all.
PanzerKpfwVI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' Seaman cockblocking the hand that feeds him
sensei888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost woke up my wife from laughter. This one's amazing.
Shadow_Van ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets me every time
GachiGachiFireBall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bunch of porn
thatphotoguy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the stories in this thread, I'd say this very thread
giveen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gosh its so hard to choose...
This is the first. Guy robo-calls IRS Scammers
And then this one NSFW Jesus Helps
ZaneHannanAU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How casinos can refuse to pay a jackpot claiming the machine is broken
One of my more recent saves but still pretty good.
Horror story in the format of a Wikipedia article
Citations everywhere
News Pundit learns about furries
Oh dear
Mathematicians Lament
Teaching...
Mattr29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/68afxo/tips_furdora/?st=J4G4G4YV&sh=3f8c2f1d
breaksteam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reverse parking gif
Code_2319 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lava Boat
Mi7che1l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your post
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread :')
zacurtis3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:53 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
German quality https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/631fox/german_quality/
I work on Volkswagens on a daily basis and I always watch this after a particularly weird and frustrating day.
Helpmefixthisphone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread because it consists of other amazing threads.
18sp01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
GoreSeeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a saved section?
MAK3AWiiSH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always laugh. Party!
Edit: links r hard :,(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like stories about hospital experiences and dark shit like that. What's the most disgusting things you've seen? Kinda ones. Lots of interesting gross stuff.
Maestro_Monty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This https://www.reddit.com/r/CrashClubCommunity/comments/6jw9bg/im_loving_the_new_update_an_all_however_i_dont/?st=J4G51BAX&sh=e6cbf6d4
PobSchenzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Christianr92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now ๐
CaritasChristi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
bepseh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://viola.bz/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/statue-of-the-Blessed-Virgin-Mary-in-marble-by-Strazza-2.jpg
This shit is all marble.
regis_is_dead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a disappointing thread
milkradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumbledore comics
Piping a rose out of buttercream
"We've been training her to be a mouse killer. She finally caught one. She is so, so proud."
"This photo was preceded by the loud shout of 'She's in the f**cking lasagne dish!'"
"I figured this is reddit material. I give you my Beard and Cat-Scarf." *fans self*
backlashsid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post now.
TEPthesw00dd00d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hentai
monsterdelmar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with 9041 comments as i type this, i'm sure somebody has already posted what my response to OP's question is:
this post.
Lordthom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because of all the amazing reactions, your post is now my favorite SAVED thing :)
Skidoo54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Epic "The Last Of Us" cosplay in Chernobyl exclusion zone. https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/6hedrp/epic_the_last_of_us_cosplay_in_chernobyl/
shishirtpathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. To remind myself not to ever give in to the temptations.
March1st ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This short thread.
Skidoo54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6gdfb9/What_is_something_that_you_can_say_that_would_be_both_appropriate_during_sex_and_during_funeral%3F/diphjy9/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chrissy Moran photos.
avbaseball13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread to go back and look through all these
LeNooNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/5nkbyc/we_are_h3h3productions_professional_complainers/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=9e976659
dennisd66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
philtrum1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saved
cfevox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post. I saved this post.
peace_on_you_too ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex's reddit account. He has no idea.
artuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/OmEDZT4.gifv sfw
kraze4kaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite thing is a gif, 'post-orgasmic sigh'. I'm not going to link it unless someone requests; I know thats weird but I just feel awkward just linking it out of nowhere I guess.
Crikey-Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm curious, now I want to know
kraze4kaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but its not super crazy or anything. I just like the breathing lol
http://i.imgur.com/EVjBdyk.gif
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
darkesthiddengem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. And stuff like this.
https://i.redd.it/mv9vwlsyeady.gif
sd4c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not this thread
fluffyxsama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actual quote from Donald Trump.
Edge_of_the_Wall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
UplineLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This masterpiece of modern literature:
https://m.fanfiction.net/s/8085414/1/SONIC-HIGH-SCHOOL
Rutherfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
villianboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/bigdickproblems/comments/64ghax/does_girth_run_in_the_family
Unfortunately the main post is gone, but someone left a good, and important portion, in quotes
titansfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this post
Crikey-Way ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This (horror) story
c3534l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For programming nerds
cihojuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thread about military recruits' funniest punishments is always a good one. I think that was the first thing I ever saved.
TheGoodmonson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now it's this.
Carl_Mch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post, I found a lot of interesting/funny stuff, thanks.
360noscoperino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From today on, this one.
Why bother saving hundreds of post when you can save the one who contains them all?
voonoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Chocolate_Brain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of 2 seconds ago, this.
keetongu856 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to deal with someone who has anxiety, helped me out a lot when talking to an previous so.
straks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/2xc947/text_soon_i_will_be_gone_forever_but_thats_okay/
Hits me every time
Chelnis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/e8zrMA2.png I love that map. It shows all existing countries in europe
RedOrangeWithSalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If one picture could (mostly) describe the internet, this would be the one.
Waldomatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/67gqq5/my_girlfriend_showed_up_to_a_party_for_my/?st=J4G741UC&sh=5ee723ef
Possibly NSFW https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/60fvml/australian_teenager_survives_croc_attack_gets_the/?st=J4G793VR&sh=e06e986d
https://www.reddit.com/r/EmpireDidNothingWrong/comments/5z5kw8/heartbreaking_image_of_a_shoretrooper_grieving/?st=J4G7A4HS&sh=dc67f203
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5vu7tk/dog_uses_bread_as_bait_to_catch_a_fish/?st=J4G7B9CQ&sh=ac744b6e
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5kxe94/comment/dbrckqz?st=J4G7ILH1&sh=4e8b087d
https://www.reddit.com/r/rickandmorty/comments/58bs61/bird_persons_big_day_at_blood_ridge_on_glapflaps/?st=J4G7MQPC&sh=a82f0c97
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/5c52h4/til_of_adrian_carton_de_wiart_a_veteran_of_4_wars/?st=J4G7PG6E&sh=02f91d7d
Also one of a dude on r/calamariraceteam (x-post r/moto) spilling on wet pavement with like a ton of fucking coins going everywhere. It's the best
TheSandbagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now it's this fucking thread. Thanks /u/female_stig
TittieMilkTittieMilk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girl freaks her mom out... I do a wheezy laugh every time I see it!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=DFwuhYL80Mo
PatriotMB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still think this picture is really cool.
metaltrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no idea. There's too much porn for me to look.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So. Much. Porn.
Slave_To_The_Siren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite save.
Machinax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have far too many saved links to say this for sure, but one of my favorite ones is a collection of professional pictures of women in the immediate aftermath of their having given birth. It's an amazing cross-section of beauty, agony, life, wonderment, relief, and pure, unfathomable love.
As someone who has no family of his own, it is amazing to behold. I'm not on my computer so I can't link to it, but it shouldn't be too hard to find.
Gyrosplater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gif of Heidi Sommers doing the Tango with some thicc chick.
Edit: Maybe it was the salsa.
hollow_bagatelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
......this thread, now. Saved everything in case people go back and delete it later.
Doesnt_Belong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://twitter.com/doodlewhale/status/840632539341606912 I love this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
.-.
EdRecde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hardcore but gold. Great read.
town-savage
Wuzabtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
Simonsini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Buey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This writing prompt about a talking cat
https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/4vv4o7/z/d61qi6i
garriusbearius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW Warning, but no images, it's all text.
I have these two absolute gems of r/AskReddit saved:
What's the strangest thing someone's said to you during sex?
What did the most drunk person say or do last night at your party?
MasterGanjaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A great song for my fellow ents.
SyrinxVibes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, officially, this thread.
rathemighty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/tS4ywCL.jpg
MacMacfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't decide between these four cat-related things...so I'll just list all of them(besides I'm late so it doesn't matter...)
this weird picture
this
the fluffy cloud
or, Rey(a blind cat) listening to her human getting ready for something.
if not that then...this WOW post
DeviMon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:15 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bunch of shit there, but after now this thread will be my fav thing in my 'SAVED' section
Thylatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Haiku about an annoying neighbor (NSFW?):
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/60prtp/apartment_dwellers_of_reddit_what_secrets_have/df8vozj/
Illinformedpseudoint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A) I forgot saved section was even a thing. Thanks for the reminder.
B) This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFZMhe1WeCQ
MoistBrevity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post! Wow. This is the most fun I've had reading Reddit for awhile. In usually just mired in all that Trump BS.
InkRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story about the US (Marine? Army?) guys in Norway who ended up getting wrecked in a snowball fight with little children.
MISREADS-YOUR-POSTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marines I think. Don't think anyone from the army is deployed or stationed in Norway.
kamikaze_goldfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mosquito finding a blood vessel. Not even sure why I saved it. I suppose so I could later strike horror into the hearts of good people like you. https://m.imgur.com/D4NR1Jo?r
Scripter17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:19 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neat!
Quizzika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dimmadots and the 3 year old AMA.
cpMetis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From /r/RWBY, this mini story thing.
Honourable Mentions:
From /r/RoosterTeeth
From /r/anime_irl
From /r/Smite
Devchonachko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy who sounds just like Johnny Cash
FunkyFranky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm saving THIS post thats for sure.
hustl3tree5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this thread will become my most favorite save
earthlings_all ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this thread.
Realistic42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/lr9u0ik0x4py.gif
robocpf1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.dorkly.com/post/80731/tumblr-came-up-with-the-greatest-comic-book-character-ever-the-villain-wrangler
The Villain Wrangler. I apologize, that's a dorkly link, I don't have the original post saved :(
caboose666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this thread
Veryfancydoily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Girls plays double bass wearing only underwear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr-wCYZ87ek&feature=youtu.be
Princess_of_Cintra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
Fuck the system
Wiiplay123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sexual fantasy. NSFW, obviously.
dpruente ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, my good man (or woman)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, who has files so old somewhere that if they found them they would have an anxiety attack?
Rajimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anon likes saurkraut
fxkmehxrder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing I have saved is on my super alt YouTube account and it's a video of a dude I went to have with on the local news telling people how his car got stolen by the "Cross-dressing Car Theif". I call it retribution for being a dick to all the gay kids in HS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:37 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My collection of pictures of YOUR MOM!
Jrodvon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
mCProgram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post because I'm lazy
Amarite19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is in my saved section, and it contains everyone's favorite posts, so I guess this is the best thing in my saved section. . .
mechilide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A woman with 3 pierced nipples
tribeoftheliver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!
mfp4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story of some guy jacking it to his Space Jam pillow case
-Anyar- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:31 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heh (NSFW)
SPC_Ray_Elwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely all the porn
Miss_Frankie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:46 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy trying so hard to pick up a MILF https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/63ojnb/milfs_of_reddit_what_were_some_of_the_most/dfvvije/?context=3
SabreToothedSeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's this thread now
LanEvo03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/xov89/anytime_some_kid_tries_to_explain_why_first/?st=J4GFQXCW&sh=71232e00
TonyTheTirant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A recipe for vampire tacos. Man they are good
madhaxor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:16 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my friend 18andCounting rapping
madhaxor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this food all cut exactly the same size
Nishnig_Jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/4xupao/beautiful_8bit_waterfall_by_mark_ferrari/?st=J4GG5JNC&sh=44f80f79
This was a really tough choice.
StareyedInLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:01 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This dude's recipe for the Mulan McNugget Sauce
BradJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
theniceguytroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mate, my saved section is almost ENTIRELY porn.
So, my favorite thing is, of course, this. SFW
SleeplessShitposter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:45 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A shittyfoodporn post where a guy used Eggo waffles instead of bread on a sandwich.
Was supposed to be a poor man's chicken and waffles, turns out Eggos are flavorless without syrup and serve as sturdier buns that hold your ketchup in place.
jeremyjumbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this post!
Singularity2soon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A GIF or Jozea saying "Scenarios".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know there was a saved section after 8 years using Reddit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now you have all the best material to fill it with!
Nintee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duck lips gone too far
PeachyPlnk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
rockemsockemcocksock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely A Sacrifice to the Altar of Brett Favre
I watched it again last night and peed my pants a little.
ThatYoungBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every U.S. state holds onto money that people are owed and haven't claimed. Including from third-parties. You just have to go to their website and look yourself up. I got $500 from a computer company I bought a laptop from once, and a few other small payments too.
Start here and don't forget to look at "Search by State." You may not have anything coming to you... but you might! I will post the actual link in a follow up comment.
ThatYoungBro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.usa.gov/unclaimed-money
KAL6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably this video of a guy trying to lift, it's immature as all hell and I love it
Africa-Unite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, now.
It's like best of the best
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post rn holy god
CantFindBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:34 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm late to the party but here is mine, The Couch Riders https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/58u38e/whats_the_dumbest_thing_you_did_as_a_teenager/d93vpwd/?context=3
It's about this guy and his friends riding blazing couch down the street and ending up crashing into this old guys fence and ending up laughing with the couch on fire
ROLLING_STONES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That I forgot about it until just now. Thanks!!!
DontOpenNewTabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:32 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't fit in at my work.
This shit is a curse
Deconstructed Hotdog
b4ckl4sh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:35 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/6jreum
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:02 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does this get gold, not upset or resentful just curious as to how a post like this meets gold giving criteria?
Gamogi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two
BIRD looks at Camera after being forced off perch
Haunted video game
mhmr81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:38 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't have too much, but this very one!
neoplatonistGTAW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. The story of a man and his T-Rex
JRecard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:40 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is now this thread
longhorn2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:10 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This gif on /r/FifthWorldPics is awesome
HighonCosmos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:05 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saved this post, thanks for doing this
Harkian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The day I hired a hitman"
procrastinadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:27 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely this
Purple_Rain526 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tunnel of Love
And this sensual Steve Bannon erotica makes me laugh my ass off every time!
ext23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:21 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno about any of you guys but I just saved a shitload of posts.
Kristeninmyskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's NSFW, but this is the best revenge for unsolicited dic pics!
Shield_Maiden5678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The post of my husband's ex girlfriend I found in trashy. Not posted by us, I just thought it was hilarious.
phantom_97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:48 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
EdiblePancake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no claw? INFERIOR
zekneegrows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahaha That was great
MrSourPeanut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
DoctorDredd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:59 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hard, I have so many good ones saved.
This AMA from a black guy had to dress "period appropriate" for a halloween party at a plantation house in Alabama.
This from an OR nurse's goriest adventure.
There is also the laziest thing you've ever done.
Too many good ones it's hard to pick just one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right now? This thread.
AlejandroMP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What you need to do if you win the lottery.
cantaloupelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
crtl-f no 'Silencing Charm' alright!
And here we go
She withdrew behind her bed curtains again, absentmindedly renewing the Silencing Charm and chewing on her lower lip as she thought her idea over. How would she work it? Who would go first? How long would it take? Was this even a good idea? She had just decided when a warm weight suddenly settled on top of her, lips finding hers.
Oh, yes, this is a perfect idea. Her eyes slid closed as she hungrily returned the kiss, hands rubbing down her visitor's back, eliciting quiet whimpers. When hands stroked over her breasts, Hermione moaned in delight. She moaned again when a tongue entered her mouth, sliding over her own, bringing with it a salty taste that was at once alien and familiarโand enticing.
Hermione broke the kiss and rolled both of them over, pinning her visitor to the bed, and kissed down her jaw to her ear. โHow is it?โ she asked in a whisper.
โThe part you're about to go through is maddening,โ her own voice replied, โbut judging from the reaction I saw, it'll be wellโmmmmm.โ Hermione had drawn her visitor'sโher own, reallyโearlobe into her mouth, tickling its underside with her tongue. She began kissing down her counterpart's neck, nibbling by her collarbone and enjoying the slight gasp she got in response.
โI'm not really sureโโ
โDon't worry, you'll do fine. Just do whatever comes to you.โ
So Hermione continued her line of kisses, tracing her visitor's collarbone and then between her breasts. When she started tracing the bottom of her counterpart's breast with her tongue, the woman under her whimpered in frustration. โPlease...every second you tease me is a second you'll be teased...โ
โBut I like being teased,โ she answered.
โNot this much...โ
She took pity on herself, drawing out a moan by kissing a stiff nipple, but only briefly. Instead, she sat up and reached to the pillow beside her visitor's head, picking up the quill.
Hermione grinned wickedly and her counterpart's eyes widened. โYou know what I'll do if you don't stay still and quiet through this...โ The woman nodded curtly and rested her head against her pillow, trying to relax, trying not to react...
Hermione dragged the end of the feather down her visitor's cheek and across her lips, then down her jaw, finally retracing the path her mouth had laid down earlier: down her neck, along her collarbone, between her breasts and below one...
Sweat was starting to appear on her counterpart's body as she fought to follow the instruction. Hermione heard a gagged whimper as she dragged the feather in circles on her visitor's breast, but decided to ignore it. If she couldn't stay quiet now, then when the feather reached her nipple...
The woman shuddered under her, moaning loudly enough to wake the entire tower, were it not for the Silencing Charm.
Hermione gave her counterpart a sweet smile, then turned around. Pinning a leg down with one arm, she tickled the visitor's foot with the feather.
The shudders were certainly much stronger, and the laughs nearly as loud. Hermione unexpectedly found herself moaning as her counterpart bucked against her, writhing against her nub. Somehow she kept counting out the seconds; sixty of them passed all too quickly, and she dropped the quill, waiting while the woman's panting slowed.
The sweat on the visitor's body was now visibly beaded; a few drops slid into her belly button as her breath calmed โYou're...going to...wish you didn't do that,โ she said.
Hermione smiled as she leaned down and licked those drops back up, tasting a hint of chocolateโa remnant of the soap from her bath earlier. Her counterpart let out a shuddering breath.
โNot even with what comes next?โ
โM-maybe then...โ
Hermione bent to the visitor's breasts and took the time to delicately lick every single drop of sweat. By the time she was finished, her counterpart's chest was heaving again. Hermione glanced up at her own face, eyes lidded and slightly glazed. โNow, or I'll hex you into next Tuesday.โ
Hermione knew herself well enough to know that she was both serious about the threat and perfectly capable of making good on it. She slid down her counterpart's body, pressing kisses into the soft, warm fleshโ I never realized my skin was so smoothโand finally reached her folds.
Her visitor's excitement was visible, even her thighs shiny with moisture. Hermione brought her head down to taste it, but a growl above her and hands in her hair guided her elsewhere.
Well, if you insist... Her tongue found the spot.
โOh, yes...โ
Whimpers and moans eked her on as Hermione used different patterns, different pressure, different rhythms. When she charmed her wand and slid it into her counterpart, the moaning woman started rocking back against her. She followed every choked request for โbiggerโ or โharderโ or โfasterโ or โmore vibrationโ, until her visitor was moving spastically, unable to speakโbut still hadn't come.
โM-m-m-more...โ she managed to choke out.
Hermione couldn't think of a way to give her more. Unless...
Hermione removed the wand, ignoring the resulting groan, and silently charmed the quill. It floated up her counterpart's body and brushed across her nipple.
The first orgasm came at that moment. The visitor pulled Hermione's head against her, wrapped her legs tightly around Hermione's back, and let out a scream that must've tested the limits of the Silencing Charm.
The second came when another quill floated from the trunk behind them and did the same to the other breast. She'd timed it just rightโshe was just coming down from the first.
The third came when the wand reentered her, and the forth came when it started moving. The fifth came when the vibration started again, and the sixth and seventh were brought on when it hit just the right spot.
Hermione let her counterpart down gently. When she had dropped the spells (except the Silencing Charm), cleaned her wand, and put her counterpart's Time Turner back in its compartment, she slid back up her visitor's body and nestled against her side, cuddling.
โThank you...โ the visitor whispered.
Hermione gave her a long, slow kiss before pulling the blanket around them. โI figured I'd get the favor returned.โ
Her counterpart chuckled. โYou will. Drop the Silencing Charm and leave on the second chime. One turn...โ Her eyes closed, and she drifted off.
After dropping the charm, Hermione rested her head on the other her's shoulder, thinking about this situationโabout the magic involved, about the metaphysics (was it sex or masturbation?), about how frustrated she was after an hour of this. The first chime of the school's clock took her by surprise, but by the second chime she was kneeling over her counterpart, reaching for the Time Turner, twisting it...
...and kissing a new โherselfโ.
Also HI, BILLY MAYS HERE with GAYSโข!
Scrabblekris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:29 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5wa1ft/if_someone_says_tell_me_a_joke_what_is_the_first/
dralcax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:22 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beef stroganoff
MTechLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:25 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this thread so whenever this question comes up again, I can link to it
killeroftherose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:33 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone who's seen this has at least smiled :)
exessmirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this tread
RedEdition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have now saved this thread.
snoozieboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:23 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck, this has become a veeery productive day....
drewdredrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now I think the best thing in my saved section is this thread. Non stop perfection.
cardkid005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This Thread
Bk4speed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
Mucky1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nhhyll
skipperdeznutz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/6b4a2z/the_80s_were_rough/
nardpolice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:53 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW where is the saved folder in the Android mobile version? I can't find it.
Reverie_of_an_INTP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:20 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On my porn throwaway account I saved a picture. It was of a Swedish model that I don't find particularly attractive and doesn't quite fit my taste, but this picture of her is at the perfect angle and the way she's standing and has her head in the perfect position that she just looks perfect.
bbrown44221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is, now.
yardplay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:54 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well now it's this post..
Orbertus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.redd.it/mppzse7gg21z.gif
sersamuel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save this post amd you get save2
evilf23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the most memelicious thread ever from r/mma
dude posts pic with fighter, users make fun of him for being short, and he responds with an album of shirtless pics and defends himself in hilariously embarrassing fashion. He's a good sport about it though, still posts there under the same account.
netrunui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:42 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
iwillforgetthis2323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:00 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
Mrjoe10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:50 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
callbipin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread now.
that_afro_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this.
CommanderMynas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:13 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The post on r/gifs with the shirtless buff dude on the stage
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:26 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
www.themostamazingwebsiteontheinternet.com
GnarlyJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:47 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big butts and AskReddit cool or useful posts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:56 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the story about the guy who thought of cockroaches as his children
mebcrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:48 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this post!
TantumAude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:21 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post, this post got so much stuff worth saving
Waititturnsrecursive
77framespersecond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:11 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This saturdays are for the boys clip from r/youtubehaiku
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:19 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God I wish I saved the askreddit thread where the question was guess my profession (or something like that) and everyone kept answering prostitute. It was hilarious.
joshwew95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:16 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rarely throw likes on YT videos, but on the occasion that I do, I do it because the content was something that fortified something that I believe in. My parents had this firm believe that cartoons, even though it's rated M will still be considered for kids because it's cartoon. The fallacy is strong in this one. Video games is also considered for kids only, also even though it's rated M.
Liked videos are videos that questioned that "backwards" thinking and videos that showed that video games / cartoons / anime can be for adults too.
Sorry for the slight rant. Just needed to get it out here.
Link to the playlist I just made
7mahesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:03 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Y7Xdcr264
and
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYX522HuIJM&t=89s
these sure are very funny :)
XochiquetzalRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:14 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my new favorite reddit in my saved section
Alcarinque88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:56 on July 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/60baw1/lpt_got_a_friend_or_family_in_the_hospital/
I like this one. Almost everyone winds up in a hospital at some point in their life. This is a good list of what to have people bring you or for you to take to others.
AdamLevinestattoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:32 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
VeloReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:46 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post <3
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:45 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
madmandoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:13 on July 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's this thread now
tomcatvn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:27 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, THIS POST is my favorite thing in my saved section now
ngc44312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:12 on July 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This mostly for the comment about phone aids.
TIFU by starting a epidemic of shittily charged iPhones https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/5z1k1t/tifu_by_starting_a_epidemic_of_shittily_charged/
mdiman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:38 on July 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is pleasing to see someone act view of that avid in something
SkittScatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:34 on July 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this amazing post on r/jokes
AceWasHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:29 on July 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
tea_kinggreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:18 on July 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one gif of very bouncy cheesecake in Japan
FlipBackLip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:53 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I keep coming back to this. Thank you for this glorious gif gift.
Stepsinshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:50 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.subgenius.com/updates/5-99news/X0028_The_Perfect_High.html
Stepsinshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:26 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
Stepsinshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:59 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
Stepsinshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:36 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/FanTheories/comments/4cazvl/goonies_is_a_coming_of_age_tale_about_a_kid/
Stepsinshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:39 on July 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html
The meaning of life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on July 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannot possibly keep a straight face. https://youtu.be/oUdCzDepI3A
-justforthepunofit- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:33 on July 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is now my favourite thing in my saved section
dnmthrowaway16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:17 on July 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Post by u/sozaiix3:
I have this comment saved too, it's from a askreddit thread very long ago I don't have the source anymore, very insightful, here's a similar one about growing old:
I asked my grandpa what it felt like to grow old. Grandpa is a man who will deliberate on which part of the newspaper to start with each morning, so I knew my question would take him some time to answer. I said nothing. I let him gather his thoughts.
When I was a boy, Grandpa had once complimented me on this habit. He told me it was good that I asked a question and gave a person silence. And being that any compliment from him was so few and far between, this habit soon became a part of my personality and one that served me well.
Grandpa stared out the window and looked at the empty bird feeder that hung from an overgrown tree next to the pond he built in the spring of 1993. For twenty years, Grandpa filled up the feeder each evening. But he stopped doing it last winter when walking became too difficult for him.
Without ever taking his eyes from the window, he asked me a question: โHave you ever been in a hot shower when the water ran cold?โ I told him I had.
โThatโs what aging feels like. In the beginning of your life itโs like youโre standing in a hot shower. At first the water is too warm, but you eventually grow used to the heat and begin enjoying it. But you take it for granted when youโre young and think itโs going to be this way forever. Life goes on like this for some time.โ
Grandpa looked at me with those eyes that had seen so much change in this world. He smiled and winked at me.
โAnd if youโre lucky, a few good looking women will join you in the shower from time to time.โ
We laughed. He looked out the window and continued on.
โYou begin to feel it in your forties and fifties. The water temperature declines just the slightest bit. Itโs almost imperceptible, but you know it happened and you know what it means. You try to pretend like you didnโt feel it, but you still turn the faucet up to stay warm. But the water keeps going lukewarm. One day you realize the faucet canโt go any further, and from here on out the temperature begins to drop. And everyday you feel the warmth gradually leaving your body.โ
Grandpa cleared his throat and pulled a stained handkerchief from his flannel shirt pocket. He blew his nose, balled up the handkerchief, and put it back in his pocket.
โItโs a rather helpless feeling, truth told. The water is still pleasant, but you know it will soon become cold and thereโs nothing you can do about it. This is the point when some people decide to leave the shower on their own terms. They know it's never going to get warmer, so why prolong the inevitable? I was able to stay in because I contented myself recalling the showers of my youth. I lived a good life, but still wish I hadnโt taken my youth for granted. But itโs too late now. No matter how hard I try, I know Iโll never get the hot water back on again.โ
He paused for a few moments and kept looking out the window with those eyes that had seen ninety-one years on this Earth. Those eyes that lived through the Great Depression, those eyes that beheld the Pacific Ocean in World War II, those eyes that saw the birth of his three children, five grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.
He had indeed lived a good life, I thought to myself.
โAnd thatโs what it feels like to grow old.โ
Edit: Link to thread - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5cwzhn/comment/da0m5q2
Poegamer16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:49 on July 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post HAHA
RockerChik94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:14 on July 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/6ilw36/til_medal_of_honor_recipient_peter_lemon_was/?st=J5H2IGCO&sh=021a4582
WolfOfBroadStreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:53 on July 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
porn. lots and lots of porn.
ItzComicArmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:43 on July 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
porn
TazTrueAlpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:16 on July 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J5LNP33Y&sh=f4a5eade
FireMarioProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:44 on July 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/NintendoSwitch/comments/6cwkoi/comment/dhxwtle
YOSHI AVEC UN FUCKING BAZOOKA
HolySpirit_of_Hell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:19 on August 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this saved in my saved section, and it is great! It's like 20 cool saves things for the save of one.
merphdoesreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:07 on August 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
My hentaihaven/ehentai links.
nightswatchended ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:14 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
RetroSwagSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:00 on August 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's now anything and everything by /u/WaterGuy12
Spaceman2901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:52 on August 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
seakladoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
Genesis1522 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:42 on September 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This shit https://www.reddit.com/r/WackyTicTacs/comments/3d80vk/i_relate_to_this_so_much/?st=J7EX2UTP&sh=02f1fe42
HedgehogHorizon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:39 on September 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kยฟโ++--. G
I I I I
STTSMFSBY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:06 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/ice_poseidon contact me right now.
doinkrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:02 on October 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[NSFW]
Porn I find that I can't look at because A. With my parents B. With friends C. In public D. At a formal event
ARAMODODRAGON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:19 on October 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
ToxicKoala115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:41 on November 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2vpng7/comment/cojw436?st=J9I2HJKP&sh=1f52f4ce
Bionic_Yeti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:27 on November 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, now its this thread. Also just in case you get a notification OP, here's the prince of Norway dabbing on tv.
https://media.giphy.com/media/CJsBSjno5cHBK/giphy.gif
LeHiggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:44 on November 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
Ricky-Harrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:51 on November 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
cate_is_kill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:11 on December 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zoop ๐๐๐
azeezraja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:41 on December 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super
ExpertGamerJohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:29 on December 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a SHIT LOAD of hentai
poopellar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are your go to porn videos that you'll never get tired of watching? [NSFW]
nousernamesleftsosad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they all suck
Drazxie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably this
Annon3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
porn
secretlynotfatih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/60fpsporn+Amateur+AmateurArchives+AnalGW+AsianHotties+AsianNSFW+AsiansGoneWild+BDSMcommunity+BigBoobsGW+BiggerThanYouThought+Blowjobs+Bondage+BonerMaterial+Boobies+BorednIgnored+Bottomless_Vixens+BustyPetite+CandidFashionPolice+CelebrityPussy+ChangingRooms+ChristianGirls+CollegeAmateurs+Cuckold+CuteModeSlutMode+DarkAngels+DirtyGaming+Exxxtras+FestivalSluts+FlashingGirls+GWCouples+GWNerdy+GirlsHumpingThings+GirlswithGlasses+GirlswithNeonHair+GoneMild+GoneWildPlus+GoneWildSmiles+GoneWildTube+GroupOfNudeGirls+HappyEmbarrassedGirls+HighResNSFW+Hotchickswithtattoos+Hotwife+HugeDickTinyChick+IndianBabes+Innie+JiggleFuck+LegalTeens+LipsThatGrip+NSFW411+NSFW_GIF+NSFW_HTML5+NSFW_Japan+NSFW_Snapchat+Nsfw_Amateurs+O_Faces+Ohlympics+OnHerKnees+OnOff+OnStageGW+PetiteGoneWild+PublicFlashing+RealGirls+RepressedGoneWild+SexInFrontOfOthers+SexyButNotPorn+SexyFrex+SheLikesItRough+Stacked+StraightGirlsPlaying+StruggleFucking+TinyTits+TittyDrop+TwinGirls+Unashamed+Upskirt+VolleyballGirls+WatchItForThePlot+WomenOfColor+WouldYouFuckMyWife+WtSSTaDaMiT+YogaPants+adorableporn+altgonewild+amateurcumsluts+anal+ass+asshole+assinthong+asstastic+bdsm+bigasses+bimbofetish+bodyperfection+boltedontits+boobbounce+boobs+burstingout+buttplug+camwhores+celebnsfw+cleavage+collegesluts+curvy+datgap+deepthroat+dirtypenpals+dirtysmall+distension+downblouse+facedownassup+facesitting+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+freeuse+funsized+gettingherselfoff+gifsgonewild+ginger+girlsinyogapants+girlskissing+gonewild+gonewildaudio+gonewildcouples+gonewildcurvy+gonewildstories+grool+gwcumsluts+hentai+holdthemoan+homegrowntits+homemadexxx+hugeboobs+iWantToFuckHer+jilling+juicyasians+latinas+lesbians+lingerie+milf+nextdoorasians+nsfw+nsfw2+nsfwCelebArchive+nsfw_gifs+nsfw_videos+nsfwcosplay+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+palegirls+passionx+pawg+pokies+porn+porn_gifs+porninfifteenseconds+pornvids+pussy+quiver+randomsexiness+realasians+rearpussy+redheads+rule34+simps+snapchat_sluts+snapleaks+squirting+stockings+suctiondildos+suicidegirls+thick+tightdresses+tipofmypenis+trashyboners+treesgonewild+voluptuous+wifesharing+workgonewild+xsmallgirls/
You're welcome.
Pappy_Smith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tank and the bangas
Really puts a smile on my face
patrick809 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/NvQJgGD.gifv
you_are_the_product ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Without a doubt the whole "Side of Beef" controversy, they toss her in there in a way that looks like she is the most hated person in America lol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thNjxRMYOII
xzackly7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/5vzu1h/tripping_balls
https://www.reddit.com/r/StartledCats/comments/5z5hxt/somebody_avybody_helpxpost_rfunny
Dippy0Dew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/me_irl/comments/5y7jh7/me_irl/?st=J4FL1Z6N&sh=9f2f28ee
This makes me laugh so hard every single time
Orkatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO696B03l48
GIVE US ANOTHER ONE
timetravlrfromthepst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Blues dog
JackieBoySlim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably some hot piece of pussy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/FwyRd3C.jpg
FlabbyButts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:35 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/DqM3yCk.gifv
notaballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://streamable.com/g8nfa Nothing has ever made me smile as much as this video. This is now the only acceptable way to breakup a fight
DennistheDutchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6678bl/if_you_think_shes_gorgeous_you_should_see_my/dggp2pz/
Made me laugh so hard at the time.
procrastination55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The never ending pasta bowl
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/UAjYN5Q.mp4
scottyb83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/cnHzl1p.mp4
Ulysses89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A comment made 4 years go about what Marxism actually is.
DevianttKitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This squirrel. Look at its cute grabbies!
GrippingStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Interceptor
young_newbie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/comments/3w0pno/dad_tries_to_pronounce_eyes/?st=J4FMXDQL&sh=dd30bffb
Watch until the end and it will make you smile/laugh no matter what kind of day you're having. Have a great day!
Lockhartsaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This fella is my favourite thing in my saved section!
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:40 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/sTr546k.gifv
hamstermagnet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This story by /u/usernamedifficulty 's sister:
Original submission
Coltzors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheese Kimbap
Cult7Choir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The time I made front page:)Today someone from the UK bought $50 in music off my Bandcamp page! https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/5ewi54/today_someone_from_the_uk_bought_50_in_music_off/
marinasyellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some chick riding Dick.
Blueblackzinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can save??????
eyedaedst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... You realized what the post did? We are centralizing all of our "best" Reddit posts.
Have we gone mad? The internet surely can't handle one single thread of this magnitude.
Dear God, what have we done....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, those are some nice thick Asians.
ISHAREMYPORNO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:40 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RyosukeKazumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:52 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WAIT WHAT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RyosukeKazumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:32 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well damn...
Sloredama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The baby girl who gets those glasses on and sees her mother
TinkieWinkieBag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant find the link right now, but that one ask reddit thread from a few years ago where every answer was Paul Blart Mall Cop
p3ter_crisp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Find this weirdly empowering... https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlysatisfying/comments/6dxwe2/keeping_the_eggs_warm/?st=J4FPCOAF&sh=6ed16e35
cynical_integral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The number of possible ways to arrange a deck of cards. Mind-blowing. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6il1jx/whats_the_coolest_mathematical_fact_you_know_of/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=39f1e209
Bladesinger491 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:22 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I spent so long reading that thread
black_seahorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/vOf6pTdorrA
I love everything about this video.
jeanlucpikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I forget we even have a saved section. For your careful consideration: Becky Lynch clapping
uuntiedshoelace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this will get buried because it's not for everyone, but this awesome blanket from r/knitting
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WAOW
killermoose25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has to be this http://i.imgur.com/2Ssd4.gif
sacredfire8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably these two: First one is slightly NSFW. http://i.imgur.com/tnwrJF3.gif https://streamable.com/cds6k
lightning87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely this girl drinking beer.
blazedancer1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/anime_irl/comments/52f25k/anime_irl/
It was especially funny because I was working on a programming lab in C that made me want to scream
Koolmidx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:20 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why she's mad?? https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/57ylhy/why_shes_mad/
steel_beem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
EducationalSoftware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment:
Th3R0c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/J4CftrS.gifv This
Art_Vandelay_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know, I always save shit but never check it afterwards.
ph0en1x778 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is mine
Oh, my bad. Here you go.
https://www.reddit.com/r/60fpsporn+agedbeauty+amateur+amateurarchives+analgw+anjelica_ebbi+artgw+asiancumsluts+asianfetish+asianhotties+asianhottiesgifs+asiannsfw+asianporn+asiansgonewild+askredditafterdark+assholebehindthong+athleticgirls+bbcsluts+bbw+bbwgw+bdsmgw+baddragon+beautifultitsandass+bigblackbootygifs+bigboobsgw+bigboobsgonewild+blonde+blowjobgifs+blowjobs+boltedonbooty+boltedonmaxed+bondage+bondageblowjobs+bonermaterial+boobies+bottomless_vixens+breastenvy+breeding+bustynaturals+bustypetite+buttsharpies+buttsandbarefeet+cameltoegirls+celebfakes+celebritybutts+celebritynipples+celebritypussy+cellshots+changingrooms+christiangirls+complexionexcellence+cuckold+cumshotselfies+curls+darkangels+dirtyfamilyphotos+dirtysnapchat+drunkgirls+eatthatpussy+ebony+exhibitionistsex+exxxtras+faceandasshole+facefuck+facialfun+facials+femdom+festivalsluts+filthygirls+fisting+flashinggirls+gwcouples+gwnerdy+gemplugs+giannamichaels+girlscuddling+girlsfinishingthejob+girlsinsocks+girlswithtoys+girlsinstripedsocks+girlswithglasses+girlswithneonhair+goneerotic+gonemild+gonewildcd+gonewildhairy+gonewildplus+gonewildsmiles+gonewildtube+gravure+groupofnudegirls+happyembarrassedgirls+hardboltons+highresnsfw+homemadensfw+hotchickswithtattoos+hotness+hotwife+hugedicktinychick+hugeboobshardcore+hungrybutts+incestporn+indianbabes+indianporn+indiansgonewild+innie+intensebdsm+japaneseporn2+juliekennedy+kateeowen+labiagw+latinasgw+legalteens+lipsthatgrip+lovetowatchyouleave+mariaryabushkina+miamalkova+middleeasternhotties+milfinstockings+mooning+mouthwideopen+mycherrycrush+nsfw411+nsfwcostumes+nsfwfunny+nsfw_gif+nsfw_html5+nsfw_hardbodies+nsfw_japan+nsfw_korea+nsfw_snapchat+nsfw_wallpapers+nsfw_nospam+nipples+notsafefornature+nowyoureallyseeme+o_face+o_faces+ohlympics+oilporn+onherknees+onoff+onlygoodporn+page3glamour+pantiestotheside+pantyfetish+pee+petitegonewild+piercednsfw+playboy+pokeporn+porngifs+porngifsbybot+pornstars+pornstarrating+presenting+publicflashing+puffies+pussyjuices+pussymound+randomactsofblowjob+randomactsofmuffdive+randomactsofnsfw+realgirls+rugsonly+ruinedorgasms+summertimeheat+scenegirls+sexinfrontofothers+sexiestpetites+sexsells+sexy+sexybutnotporn+sexyfrex+sexygirlsinboots+sexyinjeans+sexytummies+shinyporn+sissies+sluttystrangers+sofuckable+socialmediasluts+spanking+spreadem+stacked+stomachdownfeetup+stoyaxxx+straightgirlsplaying+stretchingit+tessafowler+thehangingboobs+theunderbun+thickchixxx+tightshorts+tinytits+titties+tittydrop+topdownthong+toplessinjeans+tributeme+trim+unashamed+uncutporn+underweargw+unrealgirls+upskirt+vapers_gonewild+weddingringsshowing+woahpoon+womenofcolor+womenofcolour+workit+wouldyoufuckmywife+wtsstadamit+xsome+yayamateurs+yogapants+aa_cups+adultgifs+airboobs+altgonewild+amateurcumsluts+anal+areolas+ass+ass_to_ass+ass_to_ssa+asshole+assholegonewild+assinthong+asslick+asstastic+augustames+barelylegalteens+bdsm+beef_flaps+before_after_cumsluts+bestofblowjobs+bestofboobies+bestofcollege+bestofcumsluts+bestoflingerie+bigareolas+bigasses+bikinis+bimbofetish+blackchickswhitedicks+bodyshots+boltedontits+boobbounce+boobgifs+boobs+booty+booty_gifs+braandpanties+brunette+bubbling+burstingout+bustyasians+bustybabes+butterface+buttplug+buttsex+cameltoe+camwhores+cat_girls+celebnsfw+celebsnaked+celebsunleashed+chubby+cleavage+collared+collegesluts+cougars+creampies+cuckquean+cumcoveredfucking+cumfetish+cumsluts+cunnilingus+curvy+damngoodinterracial+datgap+deepthroat+dirtykikpals+dirtypenpals+dirtyr4r+dirtysmall+distension+dopplebangher+downblouse+dreamjobs+dykesgonewild+facedownassup+facesitting+femalepov+fitgirls+forcedorgasms+freshfromtheshower+funsized+gape+gettingherselfoff+gifsgonewild+gilf+ginger+girlsinleggings+girlsinyogapants+girlskissing+girlswhoride+gonewild+gonewildaudio+gonewildcolor+gonewildcouples+gonewildcurvy+gonewildstories+grool+groupsex+gwcumsluts+hadom+hardanal+havoc_bot+highheelsnsfw+holdthemoan+homegrowntits+homemadexxx+hugeboobs+hugenaturals+iwanttofuckher+incest+insertions+jilling+jobuds+joi+juicyasians+kinksters_gone_wild+kpopfap+latinas+leannadecker+leggingsgonewild+legs+legsup+legwrap+leotards+lesbians+lesdom+lifeisabeach+lineups+lingerie+maturemilf+mellisaclarke+metart+milf+milf_nowandforever+mycleavage+naturaltitties+nipslip+notits+nsfw+nsfw2+nsfw_gifs+nsfw_videos+nsfwcosplay+nsfwhardcore+nsfwoutfits+omgbeckylookathiscock+outercourse+painal+palegirls+panties+pantyhose+passionx+patriciacaprice+petite+pokies+porn+pornid+porn_gifs+porninfifteenseconds+pornvids+pronebone+pussy+randomsexiness+randomsexygifs+ravenhaired+realbikinis+rearpussy+redheads+rule34+runwaynudity+seethru+selfshots+sexygirlsinjeans+shewantstofuck+shorthairchicks+simps+skinnytail+slutsbedrunk+snapchat_sluts+sodomy+spreadeagle+spreading+squirting+starwarsnsfw+stockings+suctiondildos+suicidegirls+tailplug+tanlines+thefullbush+thick+thick_clothed+thighhighs+thinspo+throatpies+tight_shorts+tightdresses+tightsqueeze+tipofmypenis+tits+titstouchingtits+torpedotits+trashyboners+treatemright+treesgonewild+twerking+underarms+upherbutt+usedpanties+vagina+voluptuous+vulva+wet+whooties+wifesharing+wincest+womenofcolorxxx+workgonewild+xray+xsmallgirls+youtubetitties
D3LT40N3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/92H3iIo.png
ChelseaTheSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:08 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried, and in that case I hope someone already posted this. Whenever I need motivation for anything I reread this post.
Bacxaber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:58 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My what?
stufoor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All credit goes to - /u/equilshift for this bit of beauty.
Listen man, I am going to say something that you can ignore and go back to your animemes and laugh off like most of us here, or you can take to heart and try and change your life.
You want that? You sure? Are you absolutely sure?
Here is the thing. The current you isn't going to get it. Not now, not ever. Never. You will never experience love as you are right now.
If you really, truly want it, you are going to have to change your life. Don't stop watching animu or jacking it to OPM parody doujin. That's fine. What you are going to have to change isn't your hobbies (but please introduce them to possible romantic partners slowly).
From here on out I am going to assume you are a man interested in women. Believe it or not, the advice doesn't change if you are a woman or gay or both. Just the pronouns.
So here is what you need to do: change your paradigm on what love is. Love isn't some sickness that you and another person mutually catch for each other. Love is a fuckin' castle that you and another person build for each other. It takes WORK, man, WORK. First you gotta lay the foundation. Do you respect yourself? Do you love yourself? Can you look in the mirror and smile at what you see? Don't worry if you can't do that all the time, most people can't. But if you can't think of something positive about yourself, how can you expect other people to do so?
So if you can't, think about something small you want to change about yourself. Really small. Maybe you want a stylish haircut or to grow facial hair. Maybe you want to shave your balls or workout at the gym more. Again, start small. Do like 3 pushups and 3 situps every day. Tell yourself no anime tiddies until you do. Why? Because you are worth it. You are a valuable person. Reward yourself for good behavior. It sounds silly, but it works.
Every day, do one thing, just ONE THING to make yourself closer to the you that you want to be. It won't be just a day or two of this, it will be a month or two, but you will start to notice a change. All of a sudden, you will be a little more confident in that haircut. 3 pushups will turn into 10. You will miss a day here or there, that is fine. Here is another big key: FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR YOUR MISTAKES, PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. Don't hate yourself because you are human. Love yourself for trying. As long as you try. And if you aren't trying, try to examine why. Scared of failure? It's because no one ever forgave you when you failed. So you are going to have to put on your big boy undies and forgive yourself. Scared of the unknown? Take baby steps. Don't expect too much too fast. Scared to succeed because you are afraid of future expectations? Guess what, bub, future expectations are happening anyway, whether you like it or not, so take a deep breath and realize you are already fulfilling expectations of some kind or another.
So now that you are laying the foundation by loving yourself and valuing yourself, what is next? Well, my suggestion is to strike up a conversation with a girl. Any excuse you have, make some small talk. You know why? Because you can spend your whole life waiting for the right one, or you can understand that love is a battlefield and once again, you need to build the castle.
So there is a girl who sits next to you in class? Ask her what she thought about the reading. Ask her what she thought about the test. What she thought about university sports team's performance. Does she have a unique article of clothing like super bright red shoes? Make an innocent comment like, 'wow, those are bright red shoes'.
Chances are high that it goes nowhere. Guess what, that isn't failure and even if it is, who gives a shit. Don't worship women or the ground they walk on. Let me tell you something little man, I have, in person, seen a human come out of another human. Once you see that, vaginas start to lose their holy temple status. They are just a body part, and women are just people. Don't put them on pedestals. So the convo goes nowhere? Who cares, you just dipped your toe into the romantic world. So you do it again with another girl. Who cares if she is cute or not, fat or skinny, big tits or no tits. Doesn't matter. Just talk to as many girls as you can as often as you can. It definitely helps to have excuses, and it can be scary as hell. I am not good at it and I am married. But keep at it and you realize it isn't some mythical activity that only Chad Thundercock can do, anybody can and everyone should. (And guess what, Chad Thundercock doesn't exist. He isn't real.) The more women you interact with, the less you will see them as mythical beings who grant love from on high, and the more you will see them for what they are: real people who want real love too. With flaws and warts and beauty and all.
At this point, I can hear you saying, "but /u/equilshift , I am shy. I am an introvert. I can't go out and meet women." If you say that shit to me in person, I will slap your fucking face, I swear to god. You know why? Because that means you expect that women owe it to you to see how great of a guy you are without you doing any work. It is pure selfishness. Plenty of shy people are out there, going in and out of other people, shy or not. Why are you so special that women should just come to you and find out what a great guy you are without you putting in any effort. You know who gets to do that? Eroge main characters. But that is fiiiiiiiiiictttttion. Not real. And even they have to have conversations to trigger flags. You have it even tougher out here in realityville.
But you know what is on your side? You are a great guy. Maybe people can't see it right now because you can't see it right now, but you are. And women want great guys (well, the straight/bi ones). They want to talk to guys, they want to date guys, they want to fall in love and be loved by great guys, and they want to suck on guys dicks and get blasted in the face buy a wad of great guy cum (well, the fun ones anyway). So actually, the field is tilted in your favor.
But nothing is going to happen unless you get out there and fuckin' make it happen.
So, to sum it up:
1) Learn to love yourself. Focus on doing things that you want to do to improve yourself, one small thing at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day.
2) Make encounters happen. Even the slightest hint of a chance, strike up a conversation. Because flirting is just conversation with mutual attraction. But you can practice the conversation without that.
3) Forgive yourself when you fail, because you are human, you deserve forgiveness, especially from yourself, and because you can't try new things and change your life unless you are ready to forgive yourself. Because trying new things definitely comes with mistakes.
If you want more specific advice about talking to women, let me know cause there is plenty more to be said, but the fundamentals are there. If you can get as far as I outlined you will be able to take it from there on your own, so don't even worry, my dude.
It's all going to be okay, but only if you get off your ass and do something about it.
Also, seek professional counseling. Depression is no laughing matter, no matter how fucked up we are on this sub. Medication helps a lot of people, but so does having a trained professional to help you deal. They aren't paid friends, they are professionals. Don't make your friends try to play the role of counselor or psychologist, it isn't fair to them or you.
/u/equilshift
sixft7in ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:43 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hide inappropriate stuff. I save family safe stuff.
bs484 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:08 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This entire post
Bulldog65 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, because it will be in history books as an attempted overthrow.
rewtyman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/comments/4y65ui/michael_says_dwight_you_ignortant_slut_for_30/?st=J4FH0GLG&sh=de96c84c
DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT
Mythgirl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:32:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one.
Edit: why the hate? Do you folks dislike cooking?
yrulaughing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:22:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always lose it at the Lenny faces
Aquamarinekiwi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:45:51 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:22:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A list of a bunch of gay nsfw subs
robotboy7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:22:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will only make sense to people who've played Persona 5, but this image always puts me in a good mood.
wontonamobae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:23:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing it will be this thread lol. Will confirm when I have time
okdenok ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:24:42 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all my porn
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:30:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in b4 someone reposts most of these.
funkyfae ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:30:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.this
Matt1128jr ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:32:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
littlebecci ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:32:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tips on stress management
I thought my favourite thing in saved was a collared porn gif, but it doesn't seem to be there :/ it may be lost to me forever
ajcc4c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:33:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread so that I can read what others favorite is.
xaduha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:33:19 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IDK, it has lots of stuff, but I never go there.
Francisco_Mlg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:34:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guys records roommates abusive physco girlfriend" from r/videos
Towel-Baggins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:47:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This AskReddit post where some dork asked about our favorite thing in our saved section.
TheSpongeOfTheWorld ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:53:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose it is now this.
WardeThanos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post because it contains a lot of fun !
Bjorck23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:56:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A swedish meme about biltema
BigBotch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/lrMZCtKEW88
TheTuckingFypo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[NSFW]
He put his dick in a gummy bear, there's plenty of context in the comment.
NumbAndSelfLoathing ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:01:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an Askreddit thread that prompted 'what's the most "your parents didn't love you" given name you've ever heard? My answer was: Used to know a girl who introduced herself as follows: "My name is Jacinta! It rhymes with Placenta"
And, I mean... it doesn't really. JUH-sin-tuh is how it was pronounced. Close enough I guess.
Anyway, her parents were first cousins. None of those kids were right.
Edit: Also, I've mentioned this before, but my cousin's dad was in the army with a dude named Richard...his last name was Head.
qsick5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:28:01 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy
https://i.imgur.com/kzPRQKO.gifv
SeaBass920 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:01:09 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
Unlimited-D ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:35:26 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My saved section is so large that I genuinely have no idea...
Zimboi178 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:42:34 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Okhy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
whitebreadpleese ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:58:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a6 min. Video of a girl buried to her neck. Where s guy comes out and throat fucks her... it is awesome!!!
foxfire1112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao oh my
blytkerchan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this post is just a gem: useful in almost any situation
TheHuntingApex ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/donaldglover/comments/5wrexc/young_simba/?st=J4G3G8LY&sh=0f021387
BurritoJarrito ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:46:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boobs
zahndaddy87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:56:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting to save post.
zettel12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:58:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great collection of everything
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the thread, but I reread these two when I'm feeling down. They hit me right in the feels every time.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/55olo7/i_have_a_girlfriend_and_a_daughter_and_im/?st=J4G50VCW&sh=c705d18a
https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/4i94el/i_met_my_brother_that_was_missing/?st=J4G524A4&sh=09c7c2cd
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:42:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saving this thread
LoremasterSTL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:50:24 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, it's this post.
OnliWanKenobi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Repstyle_Gaming ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:40:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stickybarb from the monster hunter subreddit always cracks me up. Sorry I don't have a link to it
FilmmakerRyan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:05:41 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This video never fails to make me cry from laughing so hard.
Sheriff_K ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:43:39 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a "saved" section?
mr_afrolicious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:55:36 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
As of now.
FinalPhoenix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:56:44 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post
DrBeePhD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:01:07 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post. This post is now my favorite thing in my saved section.
ignat980 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:20:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've saved this thread, it is now my favorite
SurebuddySure ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:34:12 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh there's room
NeoElohssa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:55:09 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving this thread for future references..
Honor2None ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:58 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
billbutter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:53:51 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As of 10 seconds ago, this thread!
the_loose_fish ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:00:04 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeeeeeesssss
MattDamnit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:17:14 on June 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
deathslayer-pcmr- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:28:18 on June 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn
Ibnar ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 12:21:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=1Z141Z3&sh=c827b177 Checkmate
martty99x ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 10:45:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 11:11:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GLORIOUS YUROP!
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:14 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This fucking music video. (nsfw)
lucrativetoiletsale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:30 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell did I just watch?
TheCoyoteBlack ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/furry_irl/comments/54zgyu/furryirl/?st=J4FFT1D2&sh=e9e28de2
Arkeaus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Furry_irl is a godsend
Finch37 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at work and don't have the balls to click anything here.
Except Stir-fry.
Shadow_Lynx ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This now.
CypressBreeze ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/?st=J4FJOUWT&sh=9828b56f
Chainsaxis33 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This australian chicks tits.
v654321 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one.
PurpleChampsOnly ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:38 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread of course!
Mauerhardt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread actually
jgonzalf ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is my most recent: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
WeSmokeTheBlunts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://m.imgur.com/f1nWzCf?r
Beryl_Yaakov ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This meme
haaany ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
niecore ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
happyhyde ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:28 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
kev-lar ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
I_like_cocaine ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:25 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Highly nsfw
So fascinating to look at!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:13 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it pretty
orus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:41 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
mrrainandthunder ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:43 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of great stuff in this thread.
Jackson530 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:59 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So. I feel like a freak. I'm the only person to admit to using save for strictly gonewild.
TheNotSoObviousTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too like to live dangerously
Jackson530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:57 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, right?
agenteDEcambio ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:17 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:46 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OPs mom nudes
lemonypiesaregold ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:03 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
HXSC ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post.
bloodwolf28 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:50 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1kvz8p/rgonewild_in_a_nutshell/?st=J4FOQWE3&sh=1dd7c11b dis one. If comments are sorted by best, click the third link in the first thread for a great green text story.
entmenscht ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:05 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
AvBigboy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My money. In my savings account
5elements ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:00 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this thread ;)
DeanNovak ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last tie
Look it up if you haven't reddit
uniqueusernanne ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
HyGhost ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the gif recipes that I will never cook.. :'(
sturmeh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:31 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/djgsc82/
fission035 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
truebeliever23 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:15 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is.
sarahyoungg ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's this thread!
BagerCast ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:11 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post : )
Lastrevio ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:06 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Milk
Will2brown ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A gif of what looks like an attractive woman dancing before pulling up her skirt and jumping, revealing a large penis that is bouncing Scarring
Will2brown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:02 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/SomeHighlevelFlatfish
ElectricSundance ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anime is a mistake
pics-or-didnt-happen ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:45 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May I ask why anyone in 2017 has a "saved" folder?
I bookmark things sure. Why save a local copy though? WHY?
mettachain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:16 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You dense mother fucker
icydeadpeeps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:44 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't saying its saved locally. It's talking about the save button built into Reddit.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:04 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna hit 2 birds with one stone on this. First I think I want to try and explain why all of this happens.
As a guy with experience in plenty of "alpha male" style relationships from my career choices, I can say that it is joking around and they are not intending to hurt one another. It's about the wit of the person making fun, and the willingness to accept ones weakness of the person being made fun of.
It is an act of bonding between people who have established each other's boundaries and are willing to play.
For example. Let's take a group of male friends playing a card game at a table. Male B is bald, Male F is fat, and Male U is ugly.
A language warning is in order for the sake of this sub's rules
A conversation like this may occur:
F: "3 of a kind, gentlemen. I win!"
U: "Damn."
B: jokingly "Show us wear you're keeping the extra cards, F."
F: "I don't have extra cards. I can just read B's cards off of the shine from his head."
B & U: laughter
B: "It also give you the advantage so that you don't have to look directly at Medusa-face over there and turn to stone."
U & F: laughter
U: "Yeah, well, me and B never have to worry about women running away screaming when we say hello to them. I turn them to stone, and by the time they see F, they've already fallen into his gravity well."
B: laughter
F: "sarcastically Are you trying to say I'm fat? ... NOOOOO! How 'come no one told me about this? How was I supposed to know?!!"
B: "Dude! You could have just looked at my forehead!"
B, F, U: laughter
Okay, so that's a pretty typical, and light hearted example, of what I've seen. Let me explain what was happening.
Every human being creates some amount of emotional walls to protect themselves from cruelty and maliciousness. It varies in height and depth. However, these walls are invisible.
I'm gonna make a bit of an analogy here, but stay with me. Let's pretend you are in a field and in front of you is an invisible wall. You can't see it, but it will stop you if you walk up to it. If you wanted to know where it was without moving, you could toss something at it like a rubber ball. When it bounces, you know where the wall is. If it somehow moved closer to you, the ball bounces back sooner. If you want to break the wall, you'll have to throw something hard, like a brick. If the wall has come down, the ball will never bounce back.
The playful mocking is a form of each man bouncing a ball off of each other's invisible wall. It's well intended, but it also says a lot about the relationship, and how each other is doing. Lobbing a joke at someone is throwing red rubber ball at another person's emotional wall. Each bounce off the wall says that "I know where your wall is, and I respect your boundary." It also says, "I'm not going to throw a brick at it and hurt you." It creates a bond by establishing everyone's boundaries and respecting them.
If U made his fat joke and F responded: "Alright guys, that's enough." It means that the ball bounced back immediately. F's boundaries just changed and are further out (and thus more protective) than they were before. It's not too concerning, but something has changed. Maybe F needs re-assurance later, but at the same time U now knows not to throw any balls too hard at F, lest the ball bounce off and hit him in the face. A new boundary was established, and all parties must recognize, and respect, that.
If U had tried to hurt F, he might have said something like "At least I'm not a fat cheating fuck." To which F might have responded: "What the hell, man?" In this case, U threw a brick at F, and brick's don't bounce back. The action is clear, an intention to hurt, and the relationship is damaged, but the wall is thankfully in tact. Now, something might need to be adjusted between the two because clearly U isn't respecting F's boundaries.
But now if F had responded with, "Yeah..." that's a whole different problem. That means that the ball just didn't come back because the wall isn't up anymore. Someone broke F's wall and he's left exposed to all the cruelty that the world has to offer. That's bad, and his friends will notice that someone hurt him. If they are good friends they will either drop it and not throw anything his way while he rebuilds, or they'll help rebuild with him.
I can tell you that I've personally had long emotional conversations with men like this and it ends with jokes, comedy, and small insults. The reason is because if you're going to help F rebuild his wall, it's still invisible. You still have to toss a little rubber ball at it to make sure the wall will hold. A wall isn't good enough if it get's knocked down by a rubber ball.
Now, are a lot of women like this, no not really. Some women are, and it's clear when that is the case. They'll be treated like this. Women that aren't comfortable with boundary testing like this, shouldn't be treated like that. A good way to tell when you crossed that line is when a ball bounces off the woman's head and now she's hurt by what was supposed to be a joke. Now you feel like an asshole because she didn't have an invisible emotional wall. Worse, this is a good way to get a brick tossed at your wall if she's one of your guy-friend's girlfriends. That brick gets a little note attached to it that says, "Don't you do that again or I'm throwing a boulder next time."
Now, /u/beepoobobeep said something interesting that I feel should also be addressed here.
No, you're pretending it's "just joking" for some kind of asinine masculinity-proving bullshit. This is why you never discuss any of your feelings and problems with your male "friends" and dump it all on me and other women in your life.
Now, there are guys that like to throw bricks, and there are some guys that aren't emotionally mature enough to figure out that getting bricks thrown at you isn't worth the relationship. That does happen when people don't pick up on normal social cues or when the guy with the bricks is willfully ignoring it for his own desires to be a deouchbag. Or even as a preemptive measure for his own, probably insecure and shitty, wall. A la: "Look at me! I throw bricks! Don't toss stuff at me or I'll get really mad and throw even bigger bricks, brah!"
In a situation like that, a guy needs help rebuilding his wall. But rebuilding that wall takes a lot of effort. If he's not getting his friends to help, or he keeps going back to someone who throws bricks at him, he needs to find new friends. I can certainly understand a woman's frustration with helping a dude constantly rebuild a wall that he keeps letting get smashed and unrepaired.
However, I've got to say, that if you think your guy friends are coming to you with lots of emotional issues because they are throwing these joking rubber balls at each other (rather than bricks), let me assure you that it's not the half of it.
I know guys whom I've had to talk to that had 9mm's in their mouth, and guys who've been gang raped, and guys who lose their wives, their friends, their kids, and their minds. The phrase "I need to go home and talk to my wife/girlfriend/mother about this." has never come out of their mouths." A lot of them have not, would not, and never will tell their romantic or familial female companions about it because it's a burden on them already, and they don't want to dump it on someone they love.
It would be like going to a woman who doesn't have a big emotional wall, and backing up, and pouring out a dump truck full of bricks onto her. Why would they do that? You don't even have a wall to protect you! So, as a guy friend, they might come to me and tell me, "Yeah, I just... I had it in my mouth with the safety off.", it doesn't deter me because I can deflect a lot of those bricks. When they see it doesn't hurt me, they know that they can be more open and get more of the bricks they've been accumulating behind their walls. It's a test to see how much I can be trusted. When they see I'm not phased, they know they can continue.
That being said, if a guy is using you as an emotional dumping ground, he's so far in the wrong that you should definitely drop him or tell him to unfuck himself right quick. But yeah, most guys (again, speaking generally about heterosexual men) don't tell people have their problems, and explicitly avoid telling their female romantic partners or family members.
shitpostlord4321 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your leaked nudes, OP.
SANTICLAWZ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pair of tig ol bitties.
Turd_P_Ferguson ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 12:49:49 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is your favorite thing in your 'SAVED' section? http://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section/
arreu22 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:47 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
Humanesque ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:37 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6jreum/what_is_your_favorite_thing_in_your_saved_section
mafroew ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:23 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this
sugarfreeeyecandy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:48 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always have to ask: Where is this alleged 'SAVED' section? Do I have a different Reddit than everyone else? Previously, someone tried point me to it, but the instructions did not match my view.
Beastskull ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:30 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is your favorite thing in your 'SAVED' section?
RPNeo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:39 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it is now this thread
BarackHusseinSoetoro ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:33 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porno
_Bad_Wolf_ ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:10 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
NormanConquest ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:36 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread
themilanguy1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:18 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i got so caught up upvoting comments i forgot to upvote the actual post, zorry!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:12 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
MediocrityUno ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save
stef52 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:55 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This
pigzit ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
darknessintheway ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:24 on June 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NSFW
UndeadPhysco ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:57 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An Extensive reddit formatted list of articles about Trump supporters killing people.
I'd post it but then i'd be downvoted even quicker.
Edit: Fuck it, Just incase you think i'm lying look below.
Lastshadow94 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:27 on June 27, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, now.