Hiciao ยท 1242 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first grade class was learning the word powerful. Kids came up with examples of powerful things and people, like elephants and superman. Then one boy said, "babies are powerful because they can cry and get whatever they want."
Storm137 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 07:57:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 7th grade on a test the question said "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" and a kid simply put, "Because some people are Amish."
I remember in year 3 we had to answer a logic question about why there might be an uneven amount of shoes at the door. Id recently watched titanic for the first time so decided to write "one person might be a one legged prostitute". It helped that my mum was parent helper that day.
My friend's dog likes to steal a shoe. She never chews it, she just picks it up and carries it around. I'll try and get a picture, I might go over on Friday.
My dog does the exact same thing but she along with her mother also steals socks. Both of them won't chew on them but just carry them around and you'll find socks in weird places.
I remember one time I was visiting my dad, had been there for all of ten minutes. The first thing I do is dump my stuff in my room and take my shoes off. My dad's dog comes up to my room, steals both of my socks one at a time, I don't notice do a couple of things, then go downstairs. The dog was carrying around one sock and the other was just lying in the middle of the floor.
Ha I love it, it's the weirdest thing. When my dog was a pup he would DESTROY shoes but he never just left them around. It must be ruff if you're running late though and you shoe isn't where you left it.
Someone I was supposed to hang out w Thursday did that to me too. It happened (same person) two weeks earlier also (more snow related though). Ehh. I think you and I just need dogs instead.
I uploaded a picture of my dog for you. There's a post on aww I can't figure out how to link and there was a shout out for you that got lost in my incompetence. But hey, he's pretty cute.
Maybe you have really cool shoes that you want to show to people but you're already inside with your shoes off so you have to go to the door to grab them. And there's no need to take both shoes because you won't be wearing them, just showing them off.
Kids could explain it.
You have a toddler who randomly relocates items for you?
Older child got one shoe off then needed the bathroom and left the second shoe in there?
You are teaching your kid to tie their shoes and the one they are practicing on got left in another room?
Took shoes off in car, threw one out of car seat, now it's missing in the car?
Took shoes off at Walmart, dropped one, mom failed to find it, but is holding on to it and checking the lost and found regularly because those shoes were super easy to get on a wiggly toddler.
bullshit like this is why I hated school. The teacher probably taught them three reasons why technology was bad and if they wrote down something else they'd get it wrong.
I had "name three good things and three bad things about FDR's presidency". Now, the teacher had already given us the correct answers on a study guide, and one of the bad things was "he created a welfare state".
I refused to put a welfare state down as a negative, and wrote 4 things on the "good" side instead (I added my own criticism of FDR as well, that he made internment camps for japanese). I got ducked a point for not marking a welfare state as a negative, even though I had three valid "bad" things.
One of my younger brothers, the goodie two shoes, goes to church every Sunday and never swears type, would become the most racist and vile person whenever he played Call of Duty...
"Fuckin Japs!!! Gawdamn Krauts!!!!!"
xorgol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:47:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's kinda justified when playing FPSs. I spout insults against rebel scum when playing Battelfront, but that doesn't mean I don't want their peaceful reintegration under the glorious magnanimity of the Empire as soon as they put down their blasters.
My daughter is currently reading Orwell's 1984 in english class. Whenever the teacher reads aloud to the class she replaces Goldstein's name with Trump. Now, while some might find this humorous, I dont. Ill also state that I didnt vote for Trump. However, I have a serious problem with teachers pushing their political views on children.
Its a public school. If it wasnt her last year of school I would be seriously tempted to walk in there and have some words with the administration. In fact I was going to but she asked that I not and just wants to get through the next few months there and be done. I can respect that. This is the same school that banned the children from watching the inauguration in school this year while previous years there was an assembly held to watch it because "its a part of history and is important".
qatest2 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 13:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That school has a serious problem with pushing politics into education. The teacher-trump thing itself was inappropriate, but showing an obvious bias towards the inauguration? Something needs to be said and done about that sooner or later.
v1z10 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:44:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching children to only respect election results they agree with...
Na, don't see any problems there.
krypt_o ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The irony in everyone calling Trump and his supporters Fascists while pulling shit like this is .. well .. it's scary.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
foyra ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or don't be a chick and realize that people joking about trump is perfectly reasonable as the man is a complete buffoon. ANd this is coming from someone who voted for him, just think he's a bit better than the other one.
This is the same school that banned the children from watching the inauguration in school this year while while previous years there was an assembly held to watch it because "its a part of history and is important".
And this is why the Dems lost. I'm not looking to engage in political discourse, but regardless of what side of the aisle you're on, the obvious bias and butthurt nature of some Democrats right now is actually doing the party more harm than good. Even the hardest core of Republicans almost feel bad... almost.
My point being, some serious reform needs to be done, otherwise leftist ideals will be left in the dust for the next 30-40 years of Republican rule...
"He's not my President." I mean, you can say that as much as you want, it doesn't make it true. So you better learn to deal with it rather than throw stick your fingers in your ears and scream "I'm not listening, I'm not listening." Because while you're doing that, laws are being passed that are going to affect you whether you accept them or not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a philosophy lecture yesterday, in the UK, and part of our lecture involved throwing plastic balls at a picture of Trump.... I have no idea what the relevance was, it was just weird.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious. Also its justification for my grandma shaking her cane and claiming my professors brainwashed me into being liberal... which would kind of make sense if 95% of my engineering classes weren't purely physics based.
Haha, it's a social science philosophy class so it's more methodologically based. So there was apparently some academic point. But it was lost on me because it was my 4th consecutive hour of lectures yesterday.
foyra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:46:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol it was always funny to me how nine hours of school in high school was easy, but by the fourth class of college I'm doneskis ๐ด
Yeah, what the teacher should be doing is posing the question to the class like "Do you feel like similar political blah blah blah has manifested itself in the world since the book was written? Do you think this book is still valuable to us today?" You know, something a bit more discreet.
qatest2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Give the kids their own thoughts instead of putting your own views into them. Teenagers can be easily taught what to think from what they see in older people.
Oy, my feelings about Trump are basically what you'd expect from a liberal yuppie, but that is honestly fucked up. From a literary perspective as well as a political one.
If that teacher wanted to draw parallels between 1984 and the current state of government corruption, it could make for a really interesting assignment. Or discussion. Or literally any exercise involving critical thinking. Maybe the teacher was trying to be super-meta?
Dropped the ball on that one. She could have drawn the connection between controlling the language and controlling the people. She could have cited parralels to unpopular leaders through history and especially present day. Instead she calls Trump am imaginary terrorist or something
elljawa ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's humorous, but pretty cringey. And completely inappropriate
xorgol ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:48:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely 1984 speaks by itself, the teacher is only undermining her own message.
This infuriates me, and I'd be equally infuriated if she used the name of any other politician. Teachers are meant to teach, not force his or her opinion on the students.
pahco87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private or public school? This would almost certainly get a teacher reprimanded in a public school.
It's a public school. The same school that wouldn't let the kids watch the inuaguration this year but in previous years held an assembly to watch Obama's inauguration because "it a part of history and important." I can't wait until she graduates.
qatest2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely would, but a lot of the times it goes by fine. This is one of the more obvious cases, but lots of teachers are very indirect/discreet about putting their political views into teaching, even if they don't know it.
ejeebs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironic that she's using the book 1984 for her own "two-minutes hate."
Lethkhar ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 12:48:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trump is the chief executive and face of a literal, 1984-esque mass surveillance state. Isn't he Big Brother?
I agree with you, though. That is inappropriate.
EDIT: Yes, I know Trump didn't start it. That doesn't change the fact that he won't end it.
The last few President have been pushing towards that. In all honestly, they're at the stage where they are getting us to normalize being under constant surveillance.
The teacher could have drawn comparisons of big brother to the NSA, but it would have to be done in a politically unbiased way, that teaches the kids critical thinking rather than indoctrination.
I agree, maybe she's pointing more to the douplespeak/alternative facts/shameless narrative shifting of the Trump administration as being Orwellian rather than the mass surveillance which is pretty bipartisan at this point.
I honestly agree with all of that, and Trump is the embodiment of Orwellianism.
But that's not something that should be "taught". It's something that people should find out for themselves, or maybe through a class discussion in college. Not school.
I'm a politician right now, working towards being an economist sometime in the future. But I do help teaching young children how to deal with anxiety disorders, so that's something :)
aew360 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:29:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...started by Bush and emboldened by Obama. You don't just whip up a spy state in 2 months.
I mean he was POTUT when the patriot act was signed, which was arguably the beginning of our present surveillance state. The PA laid the groundwork for the current state we are in.
No disagreement from me on that point. But Trump is the current face and chief executive. He is ultimately responsible for his administration's crimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i don't see it that way there is a lot of intel that is kept from even the president things deemed unnecessary for him to know big brother has it's own motives aside from what the president can tell them to do
This is no excuse for programs that are already known to the public. If I know about it, then I expect the president to be able to find that information and act on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:25 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the responses I've been getting, you're right. I don't see how people interpreted it that way, but I guess if you don't include enough irrelevant information then people will fill in the blanks with their partisan assumptions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think government agents can read every word you write, or spy on you in your home? You don't think the government tortures people? You don't think we have propaganda or our own ways of restricting language (Doublespeak)? You don't think Republicans try to restrict people to purely procreational sex? You don't think we have a lottery? You don't think Trump's constant self-contradiction and total denial of any fact that reflects poorly on him is even the slightest bit Minitrue-like? Well, I disagree.
These are things the US government is doing. Right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've been doing this for years, and it has nothing to do with Trump's administration.
So as long as other presidents did it then it's not at all like 1984? Not really following the logic here. For all we know Big Brother didn't start it, either, and even if he did that doesn't seem like a substantive argument for there being no parallels between a mass surveillance state and a story about a mass surveillance state.
In fact, Trump's clumsy approach to literally everything has been eye opening to the public
Ok, so he's an incompetent chief executive of a mass surveillance state. Thanks for the clarification.
By definition, conservatives want smaller governments, with state driven laws. Democrats want more federal regulation. If you're going to make retarded comparisons, do it right.
Shouldn't you compare Democrats with Republicans, rather than with conservatives? Otherwise you're comparing a specific political party with an entire ideology which we haven't even defined. (Unless that was your definition?)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original post described a teacher who was replacing Goldstein's name with Trump's.
Right, which is nonsensical because Goldstein isn't the figurehead of a surveillance state, he's a "revolutionary." Trump is no revolutionary and does not pretend to be. He is not the purported enemy of the state, he IS the state. (And before you bring it up, yes I know The Brotherhood's existence is ambiguous/unlikely in the book)
Republicans want smaller governments
This is demonstrably false. Republicans run deficits and expand government every time they're in power.The same thing with the Democrats. And both parties support the government's ability to spy on its own citizens and arrest and detain them without trial. Neither party is "small government," with the exception of a few lone legislators on either side of the aisle.
with state driven laws.
Unless those laws don't suit their interests, of course.
I've never understood people who spout off about "local power" and how much the Federal government imposes itself on people when they don't even support D.C. Statehood.
Democrats want more federal regulation.
Depends on the Democrat and the regulation. This is a blanket statement that doesn't mean anything. Again, it has more to do with their interests than a solid ideology. (Though "I want the federal government to regulate everything" isn't really an ideology, it's a strawman)
As I remember it (it was two years ago), the three negatives were: "he was on his way to becoming a dictator", "he created a welfare state", and "he tried to manipulate the Supreme Court" or something like that. There was also something about his deficit spending. It was pretty obvious that my teacher was a Republican.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If by that you mean a fucking crazy person. "So creating a 'welfare state' is worse than literally imprisoning Americans in camps?"
It wasn't really "japanese internment camps weren't bad", it was more like "this wasn't the answer on your study guide, so I have to mark it as wrong".
Yeahhh, that's quite different from "why some people see x as negative." That phrasing avoids assigning actual value, and it IS important to know why the public perceived things you think of as good as bad and vice versa. I'm with you on your answers.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:19:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to assume that you made up this story to piss off reddit. You may not have, but just makes me feel better to assume that there are no teachers that stupid...
If it makes you feel any better, the teacher we had for world history was miles better, and way more objective. She was very effective in teaching critical thinking, and analysing bias.
FDR was also her favorite president, so she taught him in a much better way (while still acknowledging the bad stuff). So we did kind of get to see both sides of the coin, even though it would have been much better to just be taught objectively in the first place. It helped us understand how history could be biased.
It does. I have no problem with the question itself, if it's used as a prompt to get you to think critically and recall some of the things you learned about that important time in U.S. history. I just don't like how you are forced to put things that are clearly subjective in one column or you lose points.....
My Mum worked with a teacher who'd go on tirades against liberals in his History classes. Getting teachers fired for being politically charged is difficult because we need all the able hands we can get in teaching our kids.
Oh trust me there are plenty of teachers that stupid. At least in my experience. When I was in elementary and jr. High, I learned pretty early on to stop thinking to hard about questions, and just write what the teacher wanted to hear.
Simply spoken, I consider a welfare state as a positive thing, and therefore wouldn't put it down as a negative.
I was an exchange student at the time. I actually live in Denmark, which has one of the largest welfare states in the world. Welfare keeps people from living in poverty. It increases spending, which stimulates the economy. It pushes the lower wages up (if being on welfare gives the equivalent of, say, having a 7 buck per hour job, then wages will rise naturally). It reduces the inequality of people.
As a socialdemocrat, I strongly believe in all of this.
[deleted] ยท -92 points ยท Posted at 10:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure your interpretation of "history" isnt colored by political affiliation at all ... /s
maybe educate yourself about different perspectives about the topic before you lecture others and call them names
[deleted] ยท -72 points ยท Posted at 11:15:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*citation needed. There is very little evidence out there to confirm this quote. The book that originally quoted this was by an author that got it 3rd hand. It's entirely likely that this quote is completely made up to sell a book.
And I guess the right giving all the money to the rich, while simultaneously not helping the poor are also not creating poverty. Also isolating certain social groups.
cdwols ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:42:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, there's no such thing as differing opinions or nuance! Thank you for enlightening me random stranger.
/s, though that really should be obvious
Oh the Alabama/Texas/Southern version of American history. Where carter was our worst president, the civil war wasn't about slavery, the civil rights era was "complicated" and all liberals are ruining America with their solidarity.
I think we can easily say from anywhere that the civil rights era was complicated. There was a lot going on and a lot happened, everything else in the world/country didn't just stop so that blacks could get rights. It was a time of high tensions that affected everyone.
And the system before FDR didn't lead to thousands of men killing themselves out of shame from not being able to provide for their families, rendering their wives widows and their children without fathers. OH WAIT.
I know you're trolling and all, but isn't it weird how there are actually people this stupid? I mean it's not even a matter of a difference of opinion at that point.
we're talking middle of the great depression when FDR stepped into office, where previously herbert hoover believed eventually the economy would help itself and get off its feet. Aside from even trying to do anything at all to help the economy * cough * square deal * cough * , it eventually got us out of the depression with the help of WWII... Where did you get your information from?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know what the word "objective" means. It's bad in your opinion. There are arguments for and against it, as there is with most things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does. That is a straight up lie. You want to hear one person it helps? My grandmother. And there are thousands upon thousands of others it helps. Welfare creates happiness. Look at Denmark. It's the happiest country on earth, and has one of the world's largest welfare states.
It also gives security to the worker. It means an employer can't force the worker to do whatever he wants, and threaten to fire if the worker refuses. Welfare is a security net, which protects average people from tyranny.
You may have the OPINION that it is bad, but that is subjective, not objective.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you've had shit teachers and that makes me sad :-(
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. That kind of thing is a terrible fit for a short answers test. If that kind of thinking was the goal, they would have used a different test format. It's a self-selecting sample.
What?? You're not making any sense, one of the major goals of elementary to middleschool is to learn to think critically especially with questions formated like this....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't meant that those skills will be tested in "regular class short answer test[s]", which is the only thing barktreep was talking about. Which shouldn't really surprise anyone because "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" asked as a general question with a single paragraph answer field is complete bullshit.
I was a teacher for a while, and I'll be honest, I never read the essays.
Skimmed through to see if it's remotely on topic and without any glaring grammar or spelling problems. If there's nothing severely wrong with the essay then it's full points.
gel_ink ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest too. I am glad you are no longer a teacher (though I hope you have found something fulfilling in its place). I know it is time consuming to give proper review to that much writing, but that's the job when you assign that work. As a college instructor, I see too many first year students incredibly under-prepared in writing, rhetoric, and argumentation. Feedback and guidance are far more important than an arbitrary dose of full points.
He is saying that people see technology as bad because they are part of a group that as a whole doesn't like technology finds enough umbrage with technology that they ban it, this explaining why a person would, just not why a group would. So, he's technically rightfully
Edit: wording
Edit: I did an HTML inspired strike through instead of the proper formatting.
I think the impetus onus is on the student to also explain why the Amish would have this view, otherwise I would give half credit for that answer. Like if someone responds, 'because it's hot,' to why does water evaporate, to me that's only a partial answer. What's the criteria for hot being correct and not cold? You're assuming the questioner already knows the answer so you don't elaborate, which defeats the purpose of testing someone's knowledge. And that sounds like a question that required a persuasive argument.
I got you. Add five years to the grade number and that's generally the age of the student. Add one more year if they have a birthday before finishing the grade. So 12/13.
Yeah, I just said some random number because I didn't wanna check OP's comment again. But if he was in 7th grade he would be 16-17 years old, in Austria at least. Someone else has to chime in and analyze this shit if that happened in America.
I just tend to assume most people on this site are American until they state otherwise. Makes me have to think less and it is correct like, 56% percent of the time
Elementary school 4 years and then you have the choice to go to a "Gymnasium" (kinda like high school) if your grades are good in elem. school, or a middle school if your grades are not that good. Middle school is 4 years and Gymnasium is 8 but you can switch, after 4th grade, to a "higher technical school" (HTL) with an emphasis on technology and engineering for 5 years or a commercial highschool (HAK) focusing on economy, trade and commerce.
With all 3, Gymnasium, HTL and HAK you get the A-levels after final exams, although HTL and HAK take 1 year longer.
Pupils also have the option to switch from a middle school to a Gymnasium after 4 years if their grades improve. If not they do a "Lehre" which basically means working while going to a trade school, which is extremely easy so many teenagers take that route.
There are a lot of little details but that would take too long to explain.
Edit: Forgot to answer your 2nd question. Yes, it starts at 1st grade again after elementary school.
jyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's fair to expect this kid to explain the amish culture and how they got to the point of "horses good/technology bad". I agree that simply saying they don't like technology because they are Amish is reason enough.
I'm not saying he should get points; I'm just saying that he is still technically correct. Sometimes being technically correct isn't really worth any points. So I agree with your entire statement, but I don't know if you are adding onto me or trying to contradict me so I'm just trying to make my point.
Darcsen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He name dropped the Amish like a bitch though. Little mofo needs to spread the word of King Ludd.
There is a difference between not liking something and seeing it as a problem. For example, I don't like smart cars, they are just too small for me, but they are not a problem either.
Why is often used to signal a desire to understand causality.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He also neglects to mention people who have a problem with technology but aren't amish. Including the arguably most important group - people with legitimate practical concerns.
This is not an accurate answer. It's up to individual elders to determine the amount of technology allowed in their community. The true hallmark of Amishness is Anabaptism - they don't baptize children because they don't have the mental capacity to commit themselves to Jesus.
Really?? That's cool. I had no idea. This is kindof odd though because southern baptists don't baptize babies either. And even young children who say they want to are viewed skeptically and given pretty thorough counseling.
The Amish have something called Rumspringa, which is kind of like Spring Break: Amish Edition. When a child of the community turns 16, they're allowed to venture out of the community for a year to see what the world is like; then they can come back and decide if they want to remain Amish. Unfortunately, because their lifestyle and upbringing is so strict (and all of their family and friends are Amish) it's not much of a choice. A lot of kids end up becoming drug addicts in their time away from home. Many go back because they can't function in "regular" society. So while it's nice to think that they don't baptize their kids to essentially give them the choice when they're old enough, it doesn't really work out differently from those being forced into a faith by their parents from a young age.
There's a good documentary out there about it, I think it's titled Rumspringa.
Edit to add: it's also possible that Amish culture has become more modernized in the last 10 years and this may not be the case any longer.
A lot of this stuff people are saying is mostly true for a lot of Amish. However, Amish can really vary from one place to another. Not only are the Amish in Ohio very different from the Amish in Pennsylvania, but even the Amish on the north end of the town I live in, vary drastically from the ones south of town. About an hour away from where I live, there are even Mormon Amish. And it's not unusual to see various groups of Amish vary and change over time.
I'm adding this many hours after i posted this but, interestingly enough, an Amish buggy crash into the side of our house and put a hole in our wall today.
I went to church from 2+. I was dedicated to Christ as a kid. I just couldn't be baptized. Because my age.
But if you're told all your life accepting Christ and being baptized is the only way to heaven, then you're gonna do it when you're 13.
Now, I'm still a Christian. I just don't take my kids to church. I tell them what's what when they ask, but I don't force it on them.
I love Christ. I love my faith. But I won't force it on anyone
newbris ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:37:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. It's pretty much the modus operandi of almost every religion in the world....get to the kids young and indoctrinate them and then they will be ours for life.
Explains why most think the religion of their parents is the right one and all others are wrong.
All obvious stuff to most but bears repeating for those amongst us who don't think about these things, and think they made an objective decision when deciding on their religion.
I studied a plethora of religions and cultures as a teen.
I believe my religion is the right one, but nobody knows for sure. I go by my bible, I try to act in a way that fits my religion, and I hope that when my number is called that I'm right. If not, maybe being a good person Is good enough.
I just look at my religion, and it states that what god did that was so amazing was give us free will. If god, if Christ, decided free will was needed, who am I to defy him? I am a grain of sand on an endless beach. Trying to take away free will is me saying that I know better than the man who made the beach.
newbris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The choice to distort the nature of the world through a particular religious prism should definitely be made with free will but the global distribution of religion sadly shows us it is most often an illusion.
I'm an atheist*. I try to be a good person for the sake of being a good person. I want my time here to be pleasant and so I try to make it pleasant for other people too.
*I'm not against anyone else's religion, I just have none myself. Religion doesn't offend me, I actually try to look into religions a bit now and then to understand them better. I do have a little trouble identifying as atheist though because of all the ones who see themselves as superior to religious people. It's a descriptor in my case, not a large part of my identity. Live and let live, you know?
My dad did this to my brother and I, but I figured it was his own deal instead a church enforced thing. I've never been told I should dedicate my daughter.
that question is so incredible broad that the only accurate answer would be "because people have different views" or "because ppl judge the pros/cons of it differently".
Everything else wouldn't answer the question.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 06:54:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck that kid, some people like living in an Amish paradise
SwampHat ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 08:05:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Amish don't shun technology as a blanketed rule. They're defined by other things. Individual communities have different amounts of tech. Several use the internet, for instance.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give him two points instead of 1 because he's thinking lol
Probably also kidnapped a kid and still keeps him in the basement. Probably a Russian sleeper agent. Probably had two cups of Folger's before taking the scenic route to work that day. Probably fought off a raging gorilla that was infected with the zombie virus from world war z and probably was infected and brainwashed by it then forced to indoctrinate the kids at that school with evil atheist propaganda meant to bend the will of the general public to destroy the world.
I love saying "probably", followed by baseless nonsense that sounds like it came out of a sci-fi movie!
It literally isn't, you could have answered "because some people have had bad experience with technology or were raised in a way that portrayed it in a megative light" and it'd be fine. Easy question.
As someone living in central PA near the Amish thats wrong. The Amish dont see technology as a negative. They only see anything that messes with their community as a negative. Thats why they can have tractors and electricity they just have to generate it themselves. They just cant rely on the outside influence of the grid. There are exceptions for businesses.
True, but technically being Amish is a result, and not the cause.
islaya1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit this might be me.... like I have no exact memory of this question being asked or me saying this exact answer, but I remember in my 7th grade Lit class I had a running joke with the kids next to me about Amish people and since assignments were graded by completion I had several times included Amish people in random ass answers to totally off topic questions. I got Deja Vu when I saw this answer.. even if this isn't me thanks for the flashback wow
I went through a phase when I was a kid where I was obsessed with ships for a few years (Asperger's). My dad let me watch Titanic (he skipped the drawing scene) and I remember calling my two-legged uncle a one-legged prostitute without having any idea what a prostitute was...
jmgs000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:25:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phys. Ed teacher here - I always wear shorts teaching. Parent-teacher conferences roll around, grade 1 student comes up to me with her parents - "Mr. Famous1187, I've never seen you wear pants before". I've never responded quicker to a comment before in my life to clear that up.
Reminds me of when my wife worked in an undisclosed location women's shelter. My daughter wanted to see where mommy worked but we could never go. I was picking up my daughter from school when she said (in the middle of the crowded school hall) "daddy can we finally go visit mommy in the shelter".
[deleted] ยท 2326 points ยท Posted at 06:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my nephew when he was ~3. We dropped his mom, my sister, off at work, where she met a colleague outside and went in with him. Back at home, my nephew reported to everyone that he'd seen mommy "go away with a man".
My mother used to think it was funny to pronounce doughnuts "dog nuts". When my kindergarten teacher asked what my favorite breakfast food was that was exactly what I told her. My mother was mortified!
Oh no, not the CPS! This is just a silly scenario in general, nothing a short explanation wouldn't resolve. Seems like a pretty dumb reason to bring your kids up thinking that coffee isn't a psychoactive substance... gives them a warped view of reality.. why hide the truth from them?
nomis789 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 13:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You clearly have never met anyone that has dealt with CPS
CPS is a total pain in the ass, but something one of my favorite professors once said about the subject stuck with me:
"Yeah, if someone calls CPS on me over a misunderstanding, I'm going to be a little annoyed by the inconvenience. But I'll still be thankful, because it means that somebody out there is looking out for my kids and cares about their wellbeing."
That's true, but it junk it's one of those things that varies massively on region. Where i am they aren't bad but in some places there's a clear mindset with these people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it means someone hates you and wants to fuck with you.
Honestly people see CPS as this horrible entity that only exists to take away children, which is really damaging. They also provide many supports to families that need it and can be a really amazing resource for families needing assistance with relationships, problem children, etc.
But in this case they are acting on a false positive
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they take children away from people because those people are criticizing public officials as a way of shutting them up. (CPS is sometimes used that way in this country. Documented cases exist.)
CPS don't mess around. Might think coffee is an excuse, a cover-up
avree ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"haha I meant coffee when i said drugs"
"Ma'am we'll be evaluating this after our inspection and your court appearance in a month and a half. Until then your children will be in foster care."
Well yah, their mom is relying on a drug, albeit one that makes her more awake and productive. How about instead of demonizing "drugs" we raise our children to understand and recognize the different kinds of substances they'll encounter in the wild, and teach them what they should avoid or not be afraid of.
Nanabug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your kid has to be a special kind of stupid to jump to that conclusion. If they are old and smart enough to get drugs they should know its wrong
Ekyou ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's not really anything wrong with kids drinking coffee though. Popping a bunch of caffeine pills might be problematic, but I imagine most kids are exposed to caffeine pretty regularly. Besides, most (western) kids don't want to drink coffee anyway due to the bitterness.
My nephew is a total pain about eating anything-- he has some form of sensory disorder, and as a result will mostly eat from a short list of foods. Somehow coffee (black) makes the top of that list.
Ekyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a very picky eater as a child and also loved coffee. But I had a strange fondness for bitter foods in general.
I wonder if there is a correlation between the two. Though I was, and remain, a picky eater but to this day don't do any kind of coffee. Still a caffeine addict though :(
Pris257 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story - the teacher went around the room asking if our parents smoked. I said my dad smoked a pipe. "But not like the ones you see on tv - his looks like a rocket." Yup - dad sure loved ripping those bong hits.
My father used to shave my face with he back of his razor whenever he shaved. I went around telling folks "my daddy shaves me" thereafter. :/
I also got scratched by a bush once and insisted that he had cut me with his pocket knife...soooo....sorry, dad?
While chasing my sister around the house she stepped on the cord for an iron and it fell off the counter and hit her in the back of the head. Cue next school day she tells the teachers "mommy hit me with an iron" XD pretty upsetting for my mom when cps came to check things out
It was bad, but not "bitch hold on" bad... as far as reddit goes anyway.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 10:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. You've just reminded me that when I was little my mum would occasionally threaten to "run away with a black man."
What the fuck was that about?
towo ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:54:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany, we have the children's game of "Wer hat Angst vor'm schwarzen Mann?" (Who's afraid of the black man?); it's pretty much a generic term for a bad person, and it's pretty much associated with the evilness of the color. (Some people extrapolated it's related to the Black Death, which is pretty fitting in the context of the game getting progressively easier to survive the less people there are).
It's also a generic phrase used for a stranger/evil person, probably from the same context; black man coming to take you away and such.
PS: Typing this in English I notice the black people association. It's seriously not understood in that context.
Um, sorry about that. My dad was still in his roving days.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:18:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used to say that too! And that she'd come home with a brown baby, like all the other mums on the estate. I think it must be from a TV show or something.
My niece told my sister (her mom) that she wanted to be a hooker when she grew up. She thought that was what a fisherman was called because he put the worm on the hook and caught fish that way.
katchoo1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The year I left for college my brother started kindergarten. My mom told me he told the teacher he had two older sisters. "I used to have three, but they took one away and I never saw her again." I had been gone for three days.
Minnim88 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:38:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told his teacher when he was 5 that 'mommy is under the ground now'.
She was on a work trip to Australia.
Well he's technically correct. It's a little known fact but all Aussies and kiwis live in hobbit holes.
Benguinn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time my nephew came to me and said "my mummy was watching a video of a man with his willy out". I was absolutely shocked until my sister said that she was watching the film Dirty Grandpa and it was a scene from the film.
My boss has a puppy that spends half of his time with her and the other half with her brother and his two little girls. Dog being dog, he likes treats like pig ears, esophaguses and bully sticks. That last one is dried bull penis. The girls have started running around the house asking the dog where his penis is.
I live in a secure building and the entryway/stairs/hallway are all really bright and wide - when we first moved in my 4 year old was convinced it was a hotel (and not an apartment building) so he told everyone at school that his dad just moved into a hotel...
skaileee ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my mom was part of a book club. My family alway referred to it as The Club. One day, my great grandmother called and my eight year old self answered. When she asked me to put my mom on the phone, I told her I couldn't because my mother was at the club. My dad sat beside me laughing when I hung up the phone. He tried to explain the humor, but I didn't understand until years later.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 11:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar story: A woman visited my office last year and had to bring her kid with her. The first thing the kid said to me was 'the police had to come and get daddy earlier.' I had no idea how to respond and sort of just murmured something noncommittal. The mum laughed and told me that her husband worked at a nuclear power plant and he had to be driven in by a police car because of protesters.
Reminds me of when I was in either first or second grade and we had to write a paragraph about something that we wanted to accomplish in the next year or something like that.
I wrote that I wanted to raise a lot of money for my mom so she could buy a new battery for her car because it died recently. I had no concept of how much they cost and thought it was way more than it actually is.
My mom had to explain to my teacher that we didn't live in poverty and that she had already gotten a new battery for her car.
When I would try to motivate my 3-year-old to go somewhere he didn't want to go, I would turn it into a race by saying, "I'm going to beat you!" and acting like I was going to run. I stopped after he went tearing down the sidewalk at daycare, in front of several families, shrieking "Mommy! DON'T BEAT ME!"
Haha! My nephew is super allergic to cats and my mom has several. Often she will pick him up from school and he has asked her rather loudly "Grandma, are you clean??". He's 10.
When I was around 5 I had a black eye that occurred when my father and I were playing catch, and I missed the ball with my mitt. Fast forward a few days and it's all kinds of colors. Woman in Blockbuster Video says, "Oh no! What happened?" I simply respond with, "My dad hit me". My mom didn't say a word, and rushed me to the car, which I can only assume added to the narrative that I was living in an unsafe environment.
This reminds me of the time my Dad drove my 6 year old nieces to school. Singing along to a song on the radio with the words "slow and sexy" (by Shabba Ranks and Maxi Priest) he had no idea they were paying attention. Later that day, one of them told their teacher..."Uncle Jimmy said he likes it slow and sexy...and if you wanna see him naked, then you gotta say TAKE IT OFF". (Literal words in the song.)
badooga1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:58:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A police officer came to our school in kindergarten and talked about gun safety. Later that day, I said "Daddy, you shouldn't play with guns" in the middle of a crowded bank.
this one made me exhale loudly through my nose. thanks!
sch00f ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:26:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of when my coworker told us he needs to take his wife to the vet...
After us laughing uncontrolably for a minute he clarified it was to pick up their dog.
I used to work for an agency that helped women escape forced sex work. My (middle school) son was so proud of me, he would tell anyone who would listen "my Mom works in human trafficking!" I was constantly explaining that I focused on the exit side and not the entry.
When I was in kindergarten, my mom was in teacher's college, and I knew basically where that was.
My big brother and I were on the bus heading to school when I pointed out the window and said "Look! It's mama's new school!", Pointing to the women's prison across the street.
My brother spent the rest of the ride trying to explain it to the other kids for me.
When I was in preschool I told my teacher that my ma drank and drove everyday... did not understand that drinking and driving applied to alcohol. Took a visit from CPS to clear that one up...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:34:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that a teacher of all people would spot the mistake from a kid
Idk if you looked through my history at all, but I'm a black man that grew up in an almost all white small town in Virginia. As a kid I didn't understand, but as an adult, I'm 99% sure they just assumed my mother was a drunk/crackhead/whatever the fuck bigots tend to assume about about black women.
But yeah, you would THINK so, huh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. You'd hope so, I guess. I'm sorry. Bigots seem to have some magic of stupidity going in how they view people.
Not your fault my man, just how life goes. A lot of people have it much worse off than I do. I'm a free man, with a job, and a roof over my head. But yeah, bigots do tend to have ridiculous logic to justify their thoughts and behaviors. You only need to look as far as the white house for evidence of that.
My grandma was having open heart surgery and while we were all on the waiting area of an extremly large hospital, there were some Mennonites about 20 feet away from us and my 5 year old cousin yells, "Giddyup Cowyboys!" At the top of his lungs.
Funniest shit ever.
Losaj ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of elemtary school. I lived in a house with a finished basement. Me and my sister had our own rooms down there with a HUGE game room just for us.
We had an assignment to tell the class about where we lived, and I said "I live in the basement." Needless to say, when CPS came to our house, my mom wasn't too happy.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:27:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would that even be something to report though? If the kid looked beaten and malnourished then I get it but if they look and seem healthy I don't see why they'd get looked into
Losaj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers are mandatory reporters, and every case they report is investigated. If a teacher heard about child abuse and DIDN'T report it, they can be held liable as well.
Sure, but living in a basement isn't, by any stretch, abuse. "I live locked in a basement" or "I live in a basement and can't leave" is, but lots of people live in apartments that are at least partially below ground, or have finished basements, or whatever.
A teacher feeling like that is child abuse would be like calling CPS if the kid says he doesn't get enough snacks and thinking he is starving, or a kid saying he got in trouble and assuming he was beaten.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Priceless....
When my youngest was in day care the first 2 years my wife and I worked really close together, so we carpooled 90% of the time. If I had to travel/work late etc we wouldn't. Well the lil guy heard us saying stuff like "hey hun I'm going to drive separate today".
So one day, when we drove separate, wife drops him off and teacher asks (after she leaves) where I was, his answer? "Mom and dad separated today".
Which lead to a note home hoping all was ok and offering counseling sessions.....
It was funny as hell and even the teachers laughed when we explained it (together) the next day...
I read the comment as undisclosed from public publication, not undisclosed from the husband. As in the husband knew she worked there, but he and his daughter did not visit.
Ugh, I once said something I'm guessing my parents had to explain to my teacher. We were in little groups to discuss a reading assignment and I never finished the chapter so I had to make up an excuse and said something like "it's too dark in the basement to read" and that "when I go home I go straight to the basement".
I guess people thought I was being locked up but really we just had a finished basement/living room and that's where I went to watch Full House after school.
We moved across the country when I was 7, we made a big road trip out of it. Saw the Grand Canyon, went skiing in Utah, drove through Texas, etc. When we were skiing my little sister kept telling the ski instructors we "were homeless." this confused the instructors since you probably shouldn't go skiing when you don't have a home. However she was technically correct. We lived out of a van at that point in time.
Did you say "undisclosed location" because you don't want to tell us or because not even you knew which shelter your wife worked at? If it's the former, why bother saying "undisclosed location?" :-P
In this case the shelter was for women that were victims of domestic violence who needed a place to stay where their spouse could not find them because they were in eminent danger. There was not a "no men" policy, it was just not a typical work environment where you could drop in and visit. I would occasionally go to the shelter for various reasons but I had to sign a nda and clear a background check first. It is tough explaining to a 5 year old why she can see dad at work (where she would usually get a cookie) but not mom and she just didn't understand.
They don't have a name on a sign out front, it just has an address on a sign. I'm sure he knew where it was but you're not really supposed to bring anyone around the shelter to protect the women.
s4rKRS ยท 1629 points ยท Posted at 04:53:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The head of school played football with me on the weekend in really cold weather, my friend and I were wearing shorts on the day. School comes around he's walking up the stairs with a colleague and we see him, he says to us "Nice to see you boys in pants."
What part? That's stupid. What do they call shorts then?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:39:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends which part if the UK you're from. In the North West your pants mean your trousers. In 44 years I've never heard anyone in the UK refer to underwear as pants ever, it's keks, shreddies, boxers, grundies, undies, underpants etc.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:31:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side, I've never heard anyone refer to them as keks, shreddies, grundies or underpants!
I'm from the north east and we mostly just call them pants
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's embarassing for me then as I lived in the north east for 5 years! I can't believe I've never heard anyone call them pants. Maybe I need to get out more.
Have you ever seen two figure skaters spin each other in circles while holding both hands? You know how the closer they hold each other, the faster they spin? And eventually they either crash in a horrible clumsy mess, or they go shooting away from each other at high speed?
It's like that, but with inbreeding.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:07:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which makes absolutely zero sense I the modern era of radio, television, and internet.
The real answer is that the UK is chock full of people who are obsessed with their personal 'brand' identity to the point that that they carefully craft their speech. It's like a national full of Youtubers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The internet has only existed in popular culture for a couple of decades
Way to skip over radio and television. Yawn.
To suggest that northerners have to "manufacture" a regional accent to sound different to a Londoner is utterly preposterous.
You said "manufacture", not me. The UK has long standing, ridiculous class and region identity. People intentionally use their speech as a signaling device.
This isn't education related, but as an artist, I usually like to draw sort of 1920's style fashion with dresses and suits, well one day I decided to do something more modern.
I showed a friend and he exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear, wow I think this is the first time I've seen you drawn a women with pants on.
I was in a play called Unnecessary Farce that required comedic stage stripping (I wore a slip, nothing too crazy). 6 months later I was getting my taxes done and a little old lady comes up to me, stares for a while, then loudly gasps: "Oh! I didn't recognize you with clothes on! You were wonderful."
I immediately had to point out loudly that I was glad she enjoyed the play.
I had a cross country coach that made a speech at a parent-athlete end of season party and his first words were "it's weird seeing all you guys with clothes on!" He was also about 65-70 years old.
phillium ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, one of our best female runners had a really short stride, which the coach was working on with her to lengthen it a bit. As some of the rest of the team was waiting for their turn to take laps, she came around the track and the coach lamented that he "couldn't wait for her to spread her legs." I don't think we let him forget that one.
I'm a nurse and always wear scrubs. One day I had to go to work for some education stuff. I saw one of the docs I know on the elevator and we were chatting and being friendly to each other. Other people were on the elevator with us. He gets to his floor and while getting off he says to me "you look nice in clothes." Everyone gives me awkward stare.
I used to work in an Apple Retail store. Once I was talking to a customer who mentioned enjoying just coming in and playing with the products, and I said "Yeah, we're like an adult toy store!"
Reminds me of when I was in pre-school. It was special person day so I brought in my dad, and my dad liked to drink energy drinks while driving. I believe I said something along the lines of "I love my dad, but sometimes he drinks and drives"...
Ugh. My wife primarily drinks tea, milk, or water, and my drink of choice is some sort of energy drink. The primary source of my kids seeing aluminum cans is my drinks, so they always refer to anything in an aluminum can as being "like one of daddy's drinks". Hasn't caused any troubles, yet, but I know the day is coming.
In my art history class, we were planning to talk about the (male) nude the next day, and the professor goes, "Maybe [the only two boys in the class] can help us out with this topic next class!". Everybody starts looking around in bewilderment and the two boys look very alarmed. The teacher continues on in this vein for a bit ("Maybe they can give us some insight/examples") and then, at the very end, says "because you two have been to Greece before and visited [x] museum, right?". We all started laughing and the poor teacher suddenly understood why we were all confused.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy was at his son's baseball game with his Wife and Daughter. At the end of the game, they were packing up their chairs and he swung his around and accidentally popped his 6 year old right in the face, giving her a black eye. The next day, her teacher asked what had happened and she said, not thinking, "Daddy hit me in the face with a chair." No joke, CPS was there that night and, despite giving CPS the truth, they put them on some sort of probation where CPS would come do random house checks.
Not two weeks later, back at the baseball field, the family was throwing a ball around before practice and the ball popped up off the pitcher's mound and nailed the little girl right in the lip. My buddy ran right over and said "Look, when anyone asks what happened, you need to explain the whole story." Luckily everything was fine.
I was going to ask if you're my dad, who teaches phys ed and is notorious for always wearing shorts even when coaching football games in -10 degree weather here in Minnesota. Sometimes people see my last name on my ID and ask if we're related and then follow that up with "is he still wearing shorts?"
But your grammar seems to be too decent to be him (sorry dad)
deltora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a science teacher in high school who always wore shorts. We'd never see him with pants ever, even in the winter when it snowed. It was funny because his name was Short. Mr Short who only ever wore shorts.
I wish my gym teacher had been called "Mr. Famous1187".
Jfelt45 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being a gym teacher must be absolutely terrifying in this day and age. Some kid eats shit and you have to choose between not helping them and risking a lawsuit for helping too much lol
I wish I knew how to drop a gif from my cellie. But, what comes to mind is the physical ed teacher from community who won't let Jeff play billiards without tiny short shorts
Jordykm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:57:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's dad was a carpenter. My boyfriend's mom took care of the admin side of the family business. One of the jobs his dad received was making beds for a brothel.
While at his family business office my boyfriend (about 7 at the time) answered the phone (which he knew he wasn't supposed to) and told the customer "sorry, you can't speak to my dad. He's still at the brothel". My boyfriend's mom said she never moved so quickly to get the phone away and clarify the situation.
jocybum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:58:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK that would be a bit dodgy! Pants = underwear.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How come I have to see you wear pants?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:50:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in brewery, it's pretty common place to quickly check a batch for taste just before packaging, this means 100ml glasses of beer at 9am at times. My daughter told her teacher I go to work and drink beer first thing in the morning......Took some explaining for them to get I wasn't downing pints at 9am.
gufcfan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back I used the bathroom in a fast food place.
I used one of the three urinals. A young kid appears at the one beside me and proceeds to use it, but not before dropping his pants to the floor to take a pee into it.
I don't think I've ever noped the fuck out as much as I did at that moment. Got the fuck out of there. Never felt as uncomfortable in my life.
n21lv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach swimming lessons. One girl I worked with saw one of her kids in the grocery store and he yells down the aisle " Omg I've never seen you with clothes on before!"
mel2mdl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A frequent jogger in our neighborhood returned my sister's dog to the house, but he was fully dressed. My sister looked at him and said, in front of her husband, "Oh, I didn't recognize you with clothes on."
Took her a few minutes to figure out why her husband was laughing!
xiotox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a guy who works in surgery where everyone wears same color of hospital provided scrubs that they change into at the facility every day. Ran into my female boss in public and made the mistake of saying (while in front of her husband), "Oh hey Jackie, I hardly recognised you with your clothes on!" Had a hard time recovering from the social awkwardness of that one as i tried to introduce my boss to my girlfriend who also heard me say it.
A story in the paper last week. Police raided a terraced house somewhere in England. Boy of about 9 had told his teacher he lives in a terrorist house. Terraced/terrorist. A terraced house is >2 houses joined together - probably half the city houses are like this. FFS how can people be soooo stupid.
Played a fighting game with my friends kid. Saw him parent teacher conference and he says "Hey Mr. Awesomonkey, remember when you beat me?" I looked around at the shocked faces and responded with "Yup, watch it or I'll do it again."
I walked past my science teacher on 'own clothes day' in a school hallway packed with pupils and said hello. He gave me a strange look before loudly exclaiming, "oh it's you, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on!" loud enough for 30+ kids to hear. I quickly replied "Sir, don't tell everyone". I've never seen a man go so red in public before. Poor guy.
Concerned/ scared/ angry dad: Well, Mr. Famous, if that's even your real name... I think I have some questions for you.
zeajsbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate all phys ed teachers for this reason. I struggle so hard to get my kids dressed appropriately for the weather. Then I go to drop them off at school and there is the teacher standing in snow with his damn shorts on. Put on some pants man! At least when you are outside in winter.
Our PE teacher would wear shorts to that. Hell he was there once in shorts and t-shirt directing traffic in what could only be described as a monsoon. I asked him about that years later and he said "well I had you guys playing sport in the rain, it was either be a hypocrite or suck it up".
Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen a non-gym teacher wear shorts
Doaner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I teach Martial Arts and are almost always in uniform from the time people arrive to well after they leave. Every so often we see people outside of the school (e.g. grocery stores) and without fail they will say "I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on". We have learned it's much funnier to leave a long silence at that point to let them reflect on what they have said.
You became really close to be the protagonist of Jagten's sequel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a lifeguard and took my friend that I worked with to homecoming one year. When I showed up to pick her up and saw her in her dress she exclaimed, "This is probably the first time you've ever seen me fully dressed!" in reference to the fact that we were always in swimsuits when we were together because of work. I thought her father was going to murder me before we cleared that up.
Lol reminds me of when i was a kid. According to my mum whenever we went down the alcohol aisles in supermarkets I'd proudly point out the name of every beer and spirit i recognised which was most of the big brands. Imagine a 4 year old shouting "Smirnoff! Jack Daniels! Gin!"
Little did all the alarmed shoppers know, i lived in a bar with my parents and my dad would teach me about the alcohol when he was bored on weekends. He'd tell me all about the process of making whisky Vs whiskey or how Russians live on vodka.
My friend once tried to spread a rumor that our female friend came into school without wearing pants. Quite a few people of people were shocked at this scandalous rumor before they remembered we go to a school where the girl's uniform includes a skirt, not pants.
I used to babysit my neighbours kids and their youngest had a crush on me, he would sometimes just come over and hang out. The one day he showed up, I was cleaning the house so I let him play the Sims on the computer. His mother calls an hour or two later for him to go home and I hand him the phone, he says "hold on mom, I am just watching AdisplacedCanadian take a shower", I have never grabbed the phone so fast. He had created a family on the Sims and named the characters after him, myself, and his siblings, and my character was taking a shower when she called.
Teaching English to middle schoolers in Korea, asked: "Ok, what's another way you can express surprise in English?" (after going over expressions like, "No way!", "Are you serious?" "Are you kidding me?")
Kid yells from the very back of the room: "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Another story you guys might like from the same classroom: Was going over tastes and food-related descriptions. I brought up the word 'sticky' and gave some examples, then asked if any 35+ students could think of more foods that are sticky. One quieter kid raised their hand and with the most serious look on their face: "Cum."
Me: "...What was that...?" mortified
Student: "Cum. Cum."
Me: *No idea what to do or say."
Another student: "TEACHAHHH, CUM!!" Made chewing motion with mouth
Me: Finally realized that they were saying "gum", because the G and C/K often sound the same to Koreans. YES!! GUM!! RIGHT!!!
I laughed for the 10 whole minute break after that class and still have no idea how I didn't while in front of the room.
I did the same thing when I was little and still not fluent in English. Teacher said: "Which phrases can you make with beat?" (She was looking for something like 'Beat up' or 'Beat at'. I was reading a lot of stuff in English on the internet and said (without thinking much): "Beat the crap out of!", so proud of such a long phrase I had achieved. I was sent out of class.
I once 4-pooled into a protoss and cleared his drones almost before the second wave of lings landed. He messaged me for 15 minutes about how I was a huge noob and should give up forever.
I never cleared bronze league and that was the height of my SC2 career.
Preschool teacher here. For Father's day we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was "what does dad like to do?". Most answer were average but one little girl told me her dad "loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day"
zangor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even remember the last time I watched Day 9 - oh wait, yea I can, it was 2011 (junior year of college) - He was playing Amnesia finally. My favorite thing he ever did.
Asked my students to "draw a conclusion" while learning about the scientific method. Student drew me a gorgeous picture depicting a conclusion to the experiment he was describing.
I love starcraft and just recently picked it after not playing for about 3 years. I was so excited.
But then I remembered I never sucked more at a game than SC2 :(
Sucking is half the fun though! I miss the days when I first started playing and didn't worry about the meta. Having the freedom to play the way you want without stressing about rank or winrate is how Starcraft is meant to be played IMO. Rank doesn't really mean anything in the end - I have friends in masters and grandmaster who are convinced they suck because there's always room to improve. That's not to say that it isn't fun at the higher leagues - it's just a totally different game that caters to different people. Just have fun playing the game and if you want to step up your game and try to improve, check out the allthingszerg/allthingsterran/allthingsprotoss and Starcraft subreddits or ask for some help in the ingame chat channels. The community is flooding with helpful individuals who are willing to help you improve or even just people looking to have fun and dick around in some arcade games!
I assure you there's players at or below your skill level. The matchmaker is a bit stupid in that it starts you off around gold mmr then just has you lose your first 20 games until you start winning and your mmr stabilizes. Just gotta stick through those first losses or throw a bunch of games first (which does admittedly suck). It's a lot harder to match a new player into fair matchups cause the matchmaker knows literally nothing about you and there's no teammates to counterbalance.
Exactly. This is what's stopping me getting back into really. I used to be high gold league when I played lots but spending an age reading up on new meta and build orders just doesnt seem like a wise investment for me to get smashed by some silver who is playing a new cheese strategy that Polt did on stream just 10 hours ago. There will always be a place in my heart for SC2 though. Fond memories.
Yup, every once and I awhile I come back and fuck around on 4v4 or the new Archon mode they got (not so new now though..). It'll always be a fond memory when I used to grind SC2 but I just can't play seriously, it feels like shit knowing my macro and micro used to be so much better while I float like 2k minerals..
Well, I suppose he did turn out to be right about your SC2 career. :P Jokes aside, I haven't actively played the game for the last 6 months or so. I'd probably be barely better than you now. :)
I never played SC2, but in BW, it was actually faster to 5 pool, and 6 pool was only marginally slower with an obviously better economy afterwards. I can't imagine that the dynamics changed significantly in sc2 for that not to be the case.
So straight 4 pooling is actually pretty bad and your opponent was right.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tested it with DS-Sho back in the day, but I don't remember if it was on 150 pools or 200 pools, so I'll concede that could make a difference, or there could have been some variance in initial split/mineral location on some of the early maps.
We were actually testing for 2v2s on bloodbath, that super tiny map where you're incentivized to pool early and do stuff like 6/7 gate or something.
I was a toss player so never watched too much tvz in osl/msl etc unless it was a big matchup where there is less likely to be cheese. If I saw a cheese pool it was usually pvz and it was almost always 5 - I assumed thru came to the same conclusion we did that it was faster. Though that was also usually unnecessary because it around when zvp was the most lopsided matchup at about 53% win rate in Korea proleague, so zergs were mostly incentivized to play straight up bc they were advantaged.
I think years later there was a resurgence of like 6 Protoss players they called the Protoss dragons or something because they were dominating, but I didn't really play/watch bw anymore at that time. I imagine they found some new build orders that let them punish the infinite expand into ultralings build while harassing with mutas on a more consistent basis than previously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the number indicates your supply: 4/11, 5/11, 6/11
pool indicated the structure Spawning pool - this only applies to the race Zerg
you need to collect minerals to create a spawning pool which in turns lets you create zerglings, the first army unit you can create as a Zerg
the reason for people doing this sort of strategy is too catch your opponent(s) teching up to a certain tier of army units but before they have created some sort of army, they might have 1 army unit and only have worker units to defend the base so its most likely results in a quick win
Thanks for giving me some hope. While I don't play SC2 I'm pretty much scrub tier in all other games. Maybe someday I can get a 5 sec highlight reel together with a bit of luck. :D
I'm planning long game opening push. I time gas so it pops at 11 (I believe, can't recall the exact pop, it's been about 4 years since I played) into a reactor so I can keep pressure up by pumping out marines
Ah I've not been keeping up with the Meta, I stopped playing at WoL when Reaper rush had been nerfed so hard you'd think they were using actual nerf guns as weapons.
In LotV they gave the reaper a skillshot grenade that did damage and knocked back affected units. This made mass reaper early game very hard to hold as a Zerg since early on you only really have zerglings and queens to defend with. With a recent patch they nerfed the cool down so it is more of a utility than a spammable ling-be-gone key.
Well.... I have had this discussion there in /r/Starcraft before and didn't "get eviscerated" like you say. People are usually pretty cordial in that sub and I think many agreed that MOBA is a sub-genre of RTS. You may not agree it's a "sub-genre", but you can't deny that the genre spawned from RTS.
Dota is almost like a more extreme version of WC3 on the Macro vs Micro scale (complexity of the units themselves vs the number of different units). WC3 has less unique units than SC, but the units often have more innate abilities. Dota takes that to a more extreme condition (even less units, but far more unit complexity, due to abilities and items). Anyone who can't see the RTS comparison doesn't really understand where the genre came from.
Yea, from a game developer standpoint it's obvious but Starcraft players are elitist as hell about their game (deservedly so by many rights). /r/Starcraft was especially condescending of League of Legends when it started to become clear League is the more popular game. There's not nearly as much animosity now luckily.
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If MOBAs evolved from RTSs, why do we still have RTSs? Kappa
Me playing with friends in a LAN party back in the 90s. I've been hiding in a corner of the map where no one could find me and fire off a nuke. From the next room I hear "Nuclear Launch Detected" and then my friend Kevin shouts "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
I started cackling with glee, he comes in and shoots me with an airsoft gun. Fucker. It was glorious.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHINA NUMBA ONE!
LanikM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally taught these two Korean exchange students wtf and the meaning behind it and it's all they say when they see me. I found out that they only use between each other and me, thankfully.
I teach in Korea, too. I had a young kid come up to me and say What the Fuck right to my face. So, I'm getting flustered and pissed off and I'm asking him why on earth he would say that to me. Thank god a Korean co-teacher was there because she knew what was happening, "Loki Teacher, you don't need to get so upset. He just wanted to tell you about the WATERPARK.
Korean pronunciation, man. WAWTAWPAKUH. There's no F in Korea so it always comes out as a P sound. My priend Prank, shit like that. I've actually overheard some middle schoolers saying Fuck You to each otehr and I wouldn't get half as upset if they didn't pronounce it like, "Paw Q, Paw Q."
Yeah, but if you hear the P sound from a Korean learner whose English is really low, you have to retroactively decide if it was meant as a P or an F sound. Same with R/L and B/V and J/Z. F, V and Z have no hangeul equivalent. R and L's borders get crossed a lot, too.
abaddamn ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:37:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point is that if you've grown accustomed to translating "p" sounds to "f" sounds as a result of people pronouncing their f's as p's then "park" can sound like "fuck."
Zeikos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใ is hard for foreigners. It's like a more forceful ใ but without infringing on ใ 's territory. Hahahaha also, f will sometimes be pronounced as a hwa sound. So file sounds like hwa-eel.
I find it really amazing how we learn how to make the sounds for our native language and it becomes so natural. Sometimes I read about English sounds that are really hard for people who speak X language and I find it hard to imagine not being able to make that sound. However I have intermediate skills in French and have tried to pronounce words/phrases in other languages and there are some sounds I just can't make! After many years of learning French I still find difficulty in pronouncing R correctly, and in certain words I can't do it at all!
We've kinda given up on the others pronunciation. She doesn't give me shit for my terrible Korean vowels and I dont rag on her being unable to make any fricatives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An anglophone person I knew could hear the different between "rue" and "roue" when francophones said it but she couldn't make them sound like separate words because it's hard if you can't roll your R's.
Yes, I was born and raised in Korea until 10th grade and my opinion is that "ใ " sounds like "F." One of reasons why Koreans struggle with certain pronunciation in English is because bad habits formed by loan words that do not accurately represent the sound. Many Korean loan words were heavily influenced by how the Japanese made loan words and the Japanese writing system has even more limited variety in pronunciation. i.e. the word "ํฉํธ" should've been like "๋นฝํธ."
Foooour ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesnt sound like f at all, more like a hard p
The f sound is labiodental, meaning the lip and bottom teeth touch. The ใ sound is bilabial: your two lips touch.
Am Korean that studied Linguistics
azthal ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 09:53:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are teaching a language, and your first reaction when someone says something offensive is to be pissed off? The idea that this is an obvious misunderstanding never hit you?
You must have been a great teacher.
jakielim ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never been to Korean hagwons. Even the elementary school kids are foul mouthed as shit and trust me when I say they know exactly what they're saying.
azthal ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever taught in a hakwon? Some kids are absolutely atrocious there because their moms are paying for it. Kids learn fuck from the Internet and they think it's like saying ์ ์ฅ (damn). So yeah, when I think some kid is saying fuck to my face, I'm going to get angry. All I said was that I got angry and asked him why he would say that. You make it sound like I yelled at him and called him a cunt.
It was my first three months here. Trust me, every teacher is shit their first three months, let alone in a language the kids dont understand. I'm an amazing teacher now.
azthal ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 10:24:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught Swedish for Immigrants. I've never, ever been angry when someone have unintentionally said something offensive.
Instead, when someone swore or said something else offensive I would ask "Do you know what that expression actually means? What you said means ..."
I have been angry the few times when they did understand what they said (in general insults aimed at other students), but I always made sure that it was not a misunderstanding before getting mad.
People outside English-speaking countries say very offensive things because they've learnt them from YouTubers and alike and they don't understand their real meaning.
It's also because they don't have the same frame of reference for offensive words because it doesn't have the same impact as swears in their own language since they didn't grow up getting yelled at if they said them. It will never have the same level of offence.
A while back, I once had a Korean student who raised his hand and when I pointed to him he points to his partner and is all "Teacher! She said 'fuck' teacher! 'Fuck!' I can't believe it! She said it, she said 'fuck' teacher!" and on he went like that for a bit, knowing full well that it was an offensive word in English. But he would have never dared to say ์จ๋ฐ because it's just not the same thing.
I don't know, really. I study Korean and am somewhat proficient but at this point, I'm mostly self-taught and the books I use don't cover swearing so I have to learn it from my Korean friends :P
I suppose you could say "์จ๋ฐ์ด์ผ" (ssibal-eeya) to someone. Which would be the sort of equivalent of "fuck off" or "fuck you." You could also just say it when angry as an exclamation, like if you bumped your toe on something and hollered out "fuck!" ์ ์จ๋ฐ! (Ahh sshibal) You can also say "์จ๋ฐ๋์" (ssibalnoma) which is like saying "you fucker" or "you motherfucker!"
EDIT: all the other replies are probably better than mine, heh. Anyone with better Korean feel free to correct me.
That actually makes a lot of sense to me, I have Korean classmates and I say ์จ๋ฐ to them jokingly, but I never considered it having the same intensity as "fuck".
Next time he's staring at you, say "๋ญ๋ด?" It's sort of like saying "What the hell are you looking at?" Though fair warning, if you said it to someone on the street in Korea, it'd probably indicate you were looking for a scrap.
You can also use "๋ญ์๋ฆฌ์ผ!" Which you say to someone when they make no sense so it's like saying "What the hell are you talking about?"
Both I learned from my students. They never said them to me because that would be hella rude but they say this stuff to each other fairly often and no one seems to care, because I guess they're all on the same level in the school hierarchy or whatever.
Yeah, my school is an elementary country school where it seems like no one really cares, parents included. No one ever bothers me about what I do all day.
I couldn't possibly comment on how rigidly the kids enforce the hierarchy themselves or even how hard other teachers do (I would say not very from what I can tell) but despite how much they scrap with each other I feel lucky because they are usually really polite and friendly so even when they fight, it never seems like they are actually out for blood. Which is certainly not the case in many other schools from what I hear, especially in the cities. I'm a pretty affable teacher though, so I'm sure that helps. The worst I deal with is when they won't shut the fuck up.
That being said, another teacher I know saw a kid get a full on smackdown from a teacher in his middle school because he was talking down to a kid a couple grades above him. My friend was pretty disturbed by it. I was like "Korea, dawg."
T-shirts with offensive text on them are actually quite popular in non-English speaking countries. They don't actually know what it means, so they'll wear clothes that say "I'm a whore", or "Fuck you", and they don't see anything wrong with it.
That was also part of the problem with the Fiverr Pewdiepie controversy. As it turns out, the Funny Guys (who are from India) didn't actually know what "Kill all Jews" meant, because they were not familiar with the word "Jews".
Completely true, here in Egypt a family comedy show could have someone casually switching to english for a second to say "What the fuck" or "Oh shit" but would never say ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE TO THE PROXIMITY OF THAT in arabic.
DorvoG ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:58:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beauty is that things like this are never said quietly. Plus, they're usually paired with a member of school admin or a snarky teacher walking past the room.
Middle school represent.
DaPino ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are there so many people on Reddit who taught english in Korea?
CardMoth ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need any qualifications outside of being a native speaker and having a bachelor's degree. Most of Reddit probably fits that bill, and a lot of people teaching English in Asia are kind of losers without much else going for them.
Losers with yellow fever and not much else aside from that.
Zeebuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has always seemed like a needlessly cruel stereotype. It's also a cool way to get out of your ordinary life and try something totally different and be adventurous. I know a great couple who went to teach English in China together for the new experiences and are having a fantastic time.
A lot of folks show up and treat us locals with such disrespect, litter everywhere and tell us to our faces that we're dirty and backwards and turn around to rave about how cheap everything is and how easy it is to live here. I'm an English speaking local so I get both shit on to my face, and westerners confiding in me about how much they love my country but can't stand the people. I wish it were "a few rotten apples" or whatever but it seems more like a barrel of rotten apples with one or two good ones in there.
Similarly, in French - 'Oh lร lร ' has no direct translation in English, and is defined as an 'expression of surprise'. Kid in a class I tutored decided to translate it as 'JESUS EFFING CHRIST!!!'
I teach English in Japan. I've had so many experiences like this.
trf6_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a family friend who went out to SK to teach English as part of a big personal revolution in her life. I'm sure she has plenty of stories like this.
On holiday once, the hotel had a lot of Italians. I played volleyball with them, and befriended them, picking up some phrases, including "What's happening?" and "What the fuck?".
I accidentally shouted out the wrong one in a very innocent situation and got glared down.
Could be the same here - to the kid, they're just syllables of some foreign language.
Oh my god, I literally just burst out laughing.... in the middle of my class. It doesn't help that the professor was talking about Catherine the Great.
No, many native English teachers are coteaching with Korean teachers. But private schools, native teachers are alone in the class. I taught in public schools and I was often the main teacher. I did everything in the class and saw the students more than the Korean teacher. It depends on every situation.
[deleted] ยท 3899 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL teacher. I had my students do an activity where they had to give directions based off of a map and situations I had chosen. The final question was more complex, and one of my students wrote, "Way too difficult, take a cab."
Exzyle ยท 289 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had a smart ass do something similar in my directions class.
Me: "How do you go to the bookstore?"
Student: "Use Uber."
Funny the first time, less so the next 7.
jakielim ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 10:38:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directions class?
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ChCkP ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then download the Morgan Freeman voice and eliminate the stress of city driving by having the voice of God tell you where you're going in life.
SArham ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:14:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But don't let Jesus take the wheel. That guy's blood is literally wine.
wo3tie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exists?
Seanrps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love waze, is there a specific place to get his voice?
ChCkP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but I don't remember where/how to get it. It came out a year or two ago with the London Has Fallen movie. I'm pretty sure it was limited time promotion thing.
nah bro, you're thinking of ladders class. directions class is city college (the fuckers)
Exzyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have written directions lesson.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 07:17:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the same situation with a 50 minute direction class. Every answer was just 'walk there'. OK, so how so we reach Walmart? 'By walking'. Which way do we walk? 'To Walmart'. Do we go left or right? 'Just walk to Walmart'. 50 fucking minutes.
In the taxi, you are trading your money to save your time.
Ever get plumbing done by a plumber? Basic electrical work by an electrician? Do you do all maintenance and repairs on your own car? On your computer? On your furnace, etc?
Time is money, and all the jazz, and utilizing the products and services that other people offer is only a good thing.
Nah, too complicated is when you call the person who does it for a living. They weren't calling the taxi for easy directions, like getting a plumber to use a plunger. Like the story went, it was the complicated question that they took the taxi route. They were just being efficient in finding a solution.
Right? Broken sink? Don't call a plumber and get them to do the work! Fix it yourself! Engine get blown out? Screw paying someone whose job it is to do that exact thing. The only "correct" thing is to learn how to be a mechanic yourself.
A taxi is a person you pay to provide you the service of getting where you need to go. Teaching children to utilize the productivity of those around you is a bad life lesson now?
I think it was in elementary class where we had an activity to give a step by step direction or something, I actually think i wrote, ride a taxi on one of them because we always call a cab when we go to that specific place, (It was a mall i think).
ratsta ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow ESL teacher here. One of our lesson plans very specifically noted "Taking a taxi is not a valid student response!"
ESL students are some of the most clever bastards I've ever met. I was teaching this baking class with a bunch of 4th graders in English. One of the words we learned was 'whisk'. I asked the students to come up with their own sentence with the word 'whisk'. One kid raises his hand and answers, "My dad drinks a lot of whiskey."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious! Yeah you're right, they are pretty clever. It's also funny that stuff students can get hung up on. I was recently explaining long vs short comparative adjectives. One of the words was long and my student put more long. When I explained it she complained and said(in her native language), "well you said all long adjectives usemore so what is it?"
I've taught English in Korea and Japan, and while maybe not that funny one student who wanted to say something like "afterwards" or "in the end" wrote "the after was here". I stopped for a moment and just stared off into space after reading that.
If we're talking grammar gaffes, then I once saw an elementary student's short story, and there was one part that said:
"There may have been chemicals in the water. There was."
Something about that hit me in just the right way. I laughed until I cried.
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally unrelated question, but do you need to know Japanese and Korean to teach there? I've heard no but it seems like it would be very hard to teach English without knowing the native language. Thanks!
You don't need to know any of the native language to teach overseas, but it absolutely helps (both your job chances and your life if you get the job).
I didn't know any Korean when I went to teach there, but I majored in Japanese before teaching in Japan.
The Japanese program was more competitive than the Korean one, so I think having Japanese proficiency definitely helped me get a placement.
Rizyq ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm considering trying to teach overseas in the future, and I'm planning on/considering going for a Japanese Minor. Do you think this would improve my chances significantly?
It will help, but significantly? Hard to say.
Displaying an interest in the culture (beyond anime) is valued, but like the other reply, teaching experience and certifications are prized.
In Korea, teaching certification, TEFL/TESL certs and majors were highly valued and received better salaries. Specifically in the case of Japan, I don't think that stuff was as important. JETs are assistant teachers, following the Japanese teacher's lead, and can often just end up acting as a living prop. That being said, I think enthusiasm for teaching, Japan, and trying new things in general are the biggest factors.
In my personal experience, it looked to me like the better your Japanese was the higher your chances were of getting placed in a rural location became. As these towns often don't have English speakers in their BoEs, they often request teachers who can be self reliant.
Xan_Void ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:06:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're trying to maximize competitive viability, doing things that actually involve teaching are prioritized. If you have a degree, minor, or certificate in teaching, or teaching English as a second language, that helps a lot. Teaching experience is also valued.
I don't think have a minor in Japanese will help you out on an application that much, but I'd still do it if you want to. There's no way it would hurt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While going for your major and minor, consider getting a TEFL certificate as well. They're super helpful.
Look. It's really not that hard. Most language courses in universities are taught almost exclusively in the language being learned, even from day one.
That's besides the point, though. We serve as co-teachers or assistant teachers to the 'actual' teachers. In Japan our biggest roles are to let the students hear English from a native speaker and to foster an interest in English and foreign cultures. Some teachers want us to just act as a prop, other teachers want us to come up with the entire lesson.
But they really don't want us using anything but English in class.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I've actually been interested in learning Korean for some time now, although I am currently learning Spanish I am thinking towards the future. How much have you picked up and how hard has it been? Would you recommend learning it? Thanks again
Korean alphabet is (by design) very easy to learn. During my time as a teacher, without even studying I learned (more like absorbed)how to read from looking at bilingual signs and labels.
I later had the chance to do half a year of study abroad in Korea, but my experience is atypical. I majored in Japanese and this helped me immensely in picking up Korean, because the grammar is similar and they share quite a few words from Chinese. Comparatively other students seemed to struggle.
Would I recommend it? From a life standpoint, that's up to you. Completely depends on your aims and ambitions.
However, I would say it's probably the easiest of the Asian languages to learn as it doesn't use Chinese characters.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Yes, I've dabbled a little in the alphabet already and I've seen it is very easy to learn! Grammar would probably be harder for me not having your background and being very different from English. Anyway, it's nice to hear your experiences, thanks for sharing! Have fun in Korea and Japan :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out the book series Talk To Me In Korean. They have a great book/workbook combo that I thought was great for me while I was there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out soon!
If you apply to a program like JET or EPIK you fufill the role of something called an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) - where you'll be placed into a classroom with the english teacher and then help/do the english parts of the lessons - a plus of this is that you don't need to speak the language to be able to do this and you'll have some support teaching the lesson. A downside being that you'll basically be as utilised/ignored as the main teacher sees fit.
If you want to be the sole teacher in a school you'll need qualifications that require you to speak the language and to have lived in the country for some years. I'm not a teacher but I do work in local government in Japan and have only ever met one person who was an English teacher at a High-school and not an ALT.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been teaching in China and Korea for five years, and no. Absolutely you do not need to speak the language.
In China it's harder to get by in your day to day life as a resident of the country but it doesn't effect your job. In Korea so many people speak English in the larger cities that it's just not a problem- plus a whole ton of Korean common nouns are basically English words.
The Japan situation is a bit different. Employers are very keen to know you want to adapt to their culture, they want you to learn the language and take a genuine interest in Japan.
However, technically if I am caught speaking Korean to the kids here outside of an emergency, I could be fired. I am hired to be a total immersion teacher and honestly, I can't tell you if its the best form of education, but over my three years in Korea specifically, I have taken three groups of 10 kids who didn't know the letter a, and 12 months later they are reading, speaking and writing at a great level... so, doing something right.
This doesn't answer your question, but in my time abroad I learned that the best way to learn a language is from teachers speaking only in that language. They did this in a class I attended in Italy. There were people from all over the world there speaking many different languages, so it wasn't practical to teach in all our different languages anyway. But I will always swear by that method of learning a language.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this before! Total immersion seems to be the best way, but what if there is a particular topic that's hard to explain without using the native language? I would guess they probably know at least a basic level of their own language, especially if teaching younger kids. But for older kids I can totally see this. Thanks!
Basically you just build up the very very basic vocabulary at first, and then before you know it you're able to teach progressively more complex ideas based on those basic words you've been teaching. It takes quite a lot of forethought and planning to do it well, but good teachers can definitely do it with enough time. Of course, with young children this will be difficult because they just can't comprehend as much even in their native tongue. So, for that you're limited to what they could understand in their own language.
Edit because I didn't explain myself well enough.
Something that's hard to get over is comparing the new words you learn to your native language, but with enough time and vocabulary the student will be able to think and understand purely based on the language being taught, allowing them to learn concepts they may not even fully understand in their native language. Even this can be achieved, you simply must set a very solid foundation for the student on which to base all their later lessons.
I hope this makes sense :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does! Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught in China. It wasn't hard. I taught middle school, so the kids already knew conversational English. My friends who taught younger kids taught with song and dance.
the best i've gotten is "I AM SOCCER!" with two neat lines through it, crossing it out.
i just got this image in my head of a kakarot-esque student getting convincingly defeated several times and beginning to think, well geez, maybe i'm not soccer...
ooh, i know that feeling. some of the mangled english comes off as almost lyrical, too.
like this one:
If the teacher was funny, too, it was good.
To dance, very, only a trouble, it is.
But it's fun and done.
then, of course, you've got the ones who are almost right but misunderstand just one word and it drastically changes what they're saying:
"I touched foreign people... I like touching foreign people very much. I will be able to touch them when the 2020 olympics in Tokyo holds. I am excited for it."
apparently visitors to the Tokyo olympics should be wary of handsy students XD
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not being an ass but having both a degree in education, experience , the TOEFL and fluently speaking Korean (I'm Korean), I thought I was guaranteed a position. But I'm 100% sure I was turned down for not being Caucasian.... From my experience there's a heavy bias for hiring foreigners
coinaday ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:22:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so here's the plan: we use my name and whiteness to get the position, then you teach the class in whiteface while I hang out getting destroyed on the Korean League of Legends servers. Deal?
Yeah.. They rrreally wanna learn English from a white person, preferably blonde...
Were you applying through EPIK? I wouldn't expect that kind of discrimination from them.
When trying for a job like that I, personally, would never go through anything but the official government program. If you're still interested in a job like that I recommend EPIK, and only EPIK. They won't care that you're Korean.
Do you know what kind of school the 'other group' was? I know hagwons really want white folk, so much so that I've heard of them hiring blonde Russians just to act as a 'face'.
Thanks I'll definitely take a look into it; teach away put me in contact with a rep from HESS international who sent me on a wild goose chase. On a side note I heard that the government was actually cutting in hiring foreign teachers at the moment which is why I haven't tried for a second round
You're not wrong. The thing is that Korea sees a huge difference between people who are ethnically Korean and "foreigner."
Whereas in Canada I'd think there is more of a difference between an ethnic Korean Canadian and an ethnic Korean Koreans but most business and even the Korean government would see a bigger difference between Ethnic Korean Canadians (Gyopos) and white Canadians.
I'm not saying it's right, it's just what I pick up on living in Korea. There is definitely a bias towards hiring "foreign-looking" teachers, though.
You might be able to get the Gyopo visa and move over here to teach English, especially if you have a degree, but it would be really hard to get a "foreign teacher" position.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True story here. I worked for a college prep company in China that had a lot of Korean clients. I wasn't a teacher; I did test development. One day none of the teachers were in the office when a prospective student and his parents came in for an interview. The boss of the company (who is Korean-American) came over to ask me to pretend to be a teacher to do the interview, because I was the only white person in the building that day. So yes, you were 100% turned down because you're not Caucasian. I'm sorry.
I took japanese first semester this school year and my teacher explained that their structure is different so asking "where am I?" Is quite literally saying "where is here?" Which isn't wrong i guess
There was a Japanese game show where they had to tell a story in Japanese, and then again in English. The stuff they came up with to get around not knowing words was insanely creative.
Reminds me of an anecdote I heard in another thread. An Asian guy was grocery shopping in America, but couldn't remember the English word for "chicken." To remedy the situation, he grabbed an egg, walked up to a cashier, held up the egg, and asked "Where is mother?"
As someone who once stood at a butcher shop mooing at the meat in an attempt to get them to understand I wanted to buy beef when I didn't know so much as the word cow, I totally respect this dude.
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:25:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And look at you now! Typing with more grammatical grace than most native speakers!
Ahhh I remember when I visited Paris and I attempted to buy some pate. I can't eat pork, so I flapped my arms and squawked until she pointed to a certain brand and squawked back. Still don't know what bird I ate.
avree ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:25:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story like this with my grandma. She had just moved to Canada from Bulgaria and barely knew any English. She went grocery shopping but couldn't remember the word for "egg". She went up to the cashier, started flapping her arms and making chicken noises, then acted like she was laying an egg. Apparently the cashier laughed a lot but she got her eggs.
Akoniti ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's professional level there. If I couldn't remember the word, I'd probably just decide I didn't need it that badly!
RAFCRA ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 10:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son of a bitch someone told this story to me while I was travelling
Rakkuuuu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle stopped at a gas station looking for eggs and made us wait. He said this happened to him and we all bought it, damn...
[deleted] ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 11:16:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Translating everything literally is what those online auto-translators do. Doesn't work out too well, and it's why there are so many professional translators out there.
That's where the title of "Mother and Child Reunion" by Paul Simon comes from.
bobh2os ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:17:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. I always had a lot of respect for him for going out there and phrasing things with words he already knew. Shows more intelligence than just getting it right on a quiz.
cwbrng ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My first thought was that he was using word games to help boost his memory. Very smart!
That was a Chinese guy. He's a comedian and during every lunar new year, Chinese TV has a bunch of celebrities host and participate in an all-day variety show. He told that story along with the time he was in a hotel and saw a mouse. Forgetting the English word for "mouse," he calls the front desk and says "you know Tom and Jerry? Jerry is here."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:46:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend posted something similar before (he's Chinese). First time he went to a hotel in the English speaking world, he saw a rat. But he didn't know how to say rat in English. He rings up the assistant, and says, "Do you know Tom and Jerry? I found Jerry."
Only for fried chicken like KFC; they borrowed the English word. The actual word for chicken (the animal) or general chicken meat is similar to 'dahk' and 'dahk-gogi', respectively. But I don't think a Korean man would forget the word for chicken in English unless he had problems with his memory anyway, yes. Could be a different flavor of Asian.
There are quite a few, but not as many as from a lot of other languages. We steal a lot of Korean words for food directly (kimchi, bulgogi, pajeon, etc), but not all. Also anything that is a Korean cultural or social artifact (hanbok, chuseok, chaebol, jeong, han) usually isn't translated into a comparable English word, but just written with comparable sounds in English. Most of these have been popularized recently though alongside Korea's rapid development. Other than taekwondo I can't think of many common words that an English speaker would have likely known even 30 years ago.
marpocky ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other than taekwondo I can't think of many common words that an English speaker would have likely known even 30 years ago.
Other than taekwondo I can't think of many common words that an English speaker would likely know now. The vast majority definitely don't know things like kimchi, bulgogi, and hanbok unless they have direct experience with Korean culture or frequently eat Korean food.
There's probably more english words borrowed from other countries in Asia such as India, China, or Japan due to longer/closer contact between US/UK and those countries.
bobh2os ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably company names would be most common. Like Samsung - I believe it means "three stars", Sam being three and Sung being a super old word for star.
Oh definitely. I grew up along the historic French trade corridor in the US and we have a lot of French names for things and places that we don't think of as French. Most (though not all) of the pronunciation is horribly bastardized.
A woman who spoke mostly Spanish at my grocery store was having trouble finding something, and started to rub her hands all over her body. Turns out she wanted lotion.
DeseoX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may steal this and base a short story on it.. You'll be credited as a contributor
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she were as pedantic as everyone else in these comments, the cashier would say, "um, probably a farm somewhere? They use different ones for eggs vs meat, even though the bird can do both."
In other news, I was once asked by an Asian tourist, "where is mayor White House", because he didn't know the term for "city hall".
My husband is Chinese, and while his English is very good, he sometimes says funny things like this.
He wanted to take me out to a fancy French restaurant for our anniversary but couldn't remember what he wanted to order when we went. He told me it was the famous French food. Ummm... snails? escargot? No, that wasn't it. He finally said 'seeds! We want seeds!' I doubt this place serves granola for dinner. lol. 'No, ardenthusiast, fish seeds.' Oh... you mean caviar. lol
p_kell ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:53:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You start with common words, not easy ones, then move on to uncommon words, not hard ones.
Or, more commonly, you start with learning words frequently used in sitcoms and game shows, so the person trying to learn the language can watch T.V., follow the conversation, and learn words that way.
It makes sense, but I don't see evolution used nearly as much as dozen. Eh, I'm not the English teacher, and I've known the language all my life so I haven't had the experiences that an ESL student would have, so just do your own thing because it almost definitely works better than what I say.
Primates have freakish brute strength and the dexterity for tool use, but our hands are much more precise.
xNaVx ยท 599 points ยท Posted at 03:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach ESL in a university in China. The topic in class was the effect of sleep on study. After introducing the phrase "pulling an all-nighter," I asked the students to give some advice on how they can stay awake in class after the pulled an all nighter.
Student: "Take some cocaine."
Me: gives student an odd look "Excuse me?"
Student: "Yes, you know, like in Coca-Cola, coffee, tea..."
Me: pauses for a moment, now understanding what exactly what he meant, but prompting him "Cocaine?"
Student: realizes what he has done "Oh shit, I meant caffeine."
Dracomax ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 17:13:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was 5, sitting in the car with my Mom, and Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" comes on the radio. Excitedly, I tell her "MOM! This is what Dad and John do in the backyard!!".
She freaked, obviously, and my Dad was like "Yeah... she thinks that song is about Croquet."
Actually it got it's name from the coca leaf, which is the raw material cocaine comes from. Coca Cola if I remember correctly came up with a way to process it, leaving cocaine out of the drink
My family is hosting an exchange student from china, and last month while we were watching the super bowl he gets up and goes "I am tired! I need some cocaine!" And my parents and my grandma were all like what the heck?!?! And he was like you know... grabs a soda out of the fridge cocaine! In the soda! reads ingredients OH CAFFEINE!!! Never gonna let him forget about that one ๐
You know what I don't get about that story? Why is the pig the one who becomes famous? The real news is the fucking supergenius spider who knows how to think critically and write in English. Who cares what it thinks about the pig; I want to know its thoughts on the origins of reality.
Hmm. Did you see the latest review of Amy Shummer's stand -up routine?
karl2025 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:50:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conversely...
You have a supergenius spider who knows how to think critically and write in English and the only thing this spider has to say is that this pig is amazing. The spider is obviously interesting, but the fact that this pig is so astonishingly awesome as to completely captivate the attention of this spider is also pretty interesting.
As the reader in a book, sure, but as an outside observer?
Regardless, this is still a story of an intelligent entity being so enamoured with a pig that it spends its entire life finding ways to communicate with another species simply to convince that species that said pig is great. I mean, when was the last time you saw someone spend literally their entire life talking about how great something was?
The reason that Charlotte felt the need to try and make Wilbur out to be something so great was to keep him from being slaughtered. It's established in the beginning that he was the runt of the litter and Fern took a liking to him because that's what young girls do in novels about the cute animal. He didn't even win anything at the fair; the only thing special about him was Charlotte's praise.
He wasn't special by any real measure, it's just that Charlotte knew that he would be slaughtered for meat if she didn't do something to help him, so she did because she was a kind and gentle soul.
You could kind of read the book in a way that you can make something as pathetic as an undersized pig to be great, and that you don't need to win something in order to be remembered and worthwhile, and that is a good message to teach to children. However, we ultimately are more attached to Charlotte and herdeath at the end of the book., and even still, if the message of the book is that everyone can be special, then he's still no more "some pig" than any other pig, because he's just "unique like everyone else."
diddly ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did name the book after her.
naryn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:36:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky, it's a science fiction novel half of which focuses on super-intelligent spiders.
funkyb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:48:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Though while you're reading ignore all random thoughts that feelโฆ spider-y
funkyb ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:52:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the animated film they at least use a line to explain this. One of the farmers looks at Charlotte to see if he can see something special that made her write in her web and comments "why it's just a little old ordinary gray spider." And they determine that Wilbur being special is what made her write in her web. It's not great logic, but what do you want? They're hick farmers.
BZH_JJM ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:40:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we look at the lesson of Varys the Spider, spiders tend to prefer staying in the background and pulling strings. Charlotte surely had some motive behind saving the pig.
The characters actually make that comment in the original animated movie. Mr. Zuckerman comes out of the house and sees the web for the first time and says "it appears we have an amazing pig", to which Mrs. Zuckerman responds that it "actually appears we have no ordinary spider." But Mr. Zuckerman sees Charlotte above the barn door and says; "nope its just an ordinary barn spider." Yeah, except IT'S WRITING!
LOL they really aren't bright. A simple visual inspection is all it takes for them to determine the spider is normal, but a visually-uninteresting pig is suddenly amazing just because the web says so?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know its thoughts on the origins of reality.
I was just thinking the same thing. Because she's female -- so she'll never get that recognition like Wilbur will. Either that, or it's just expected that we'll be brilliant and resourceful all the time, so it's not that remarkable.
I was only saying that ironically. I think she is by far the smarter of the two.
Wilbur is expendable as well as hopeless. She has chosen to take pity on his plight and help him out despite his naivety.
I think it is a very flattering way to portray her frankly. She is kind, and caring, and wise, and saves an innocent idiot. Glory is far from gold... Charlotte has shelter, safety, and people who care for her. What more could any reasonable person ask for. Short of natural disaster or predators (which I don't remember them mentioning in the book), she's essentially untouchable.
So, while YMMV, I find this to be a fantastic example of a positive female role model. Shes smart, tough, and secure. But it doesn't get in the way of her being kind to others.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only a female but, a spider as well. We all know how oppressed spiders are. From life saving medicines, pest control, high definition monitors, one of the strongest materials in the world...and we thank them by burning them alive.
It's like Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo has a cousin named Scooby Dum who can speak English, but who's really stupid. Like who cares? He's a talking dog. Because he can't read the Emancipation Proclamation no one cares he can talk?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the pig is special because he is the first ever recorded schizophrenic pig?
I had to read Charlotte's Web for fourth grade. The teacher asked us to write about what might have happened if Wilbur hadn't been saved by Charlotte. I invented a new pig and had the two pigs murder the farmer. I have grown less morbid since then but it drew a rather concerned response from my teacher.
Kid's stuff is usually very gentle and kind, with every character getting a happy little ending. The spider dying at the end of Charlotte's Web is unusually dark by itself, and they paint that to be as happy as possible. But kids aren't oblivious to all the terrible stuff that goes on the in world. Kids know the stories are going easy on them because they're kids.
I think this is why a lot of kids think up morbid alternate endings to stories. When I was a kid I had to take a test where you're told some of a story, then have to think up the ending. The one I got was about a lying rat and a dolphin carrying him to shore. The dolphin discovers that the rat has been lying. I knew the story probably ended in something to teach the rat a valuable lesson about lying, but the ending I came up with was with the rat being thrown into the ocean and drowning.
It's not that I disliked the rat that much, it's that I was tired of predictable fluff. I wanted something serious to happen, something new. I think a lot of kids want that from the stories they read or watch.
This reminds me of when I colored a picture of a clown, all black in kindergarten...I was in a rush to go to recess but my teacher thought I was troubled and had me see a counselor & called my parents.
Whats sad is whe had to grade a first semester chemistry test once at university that was made for the medical students (I dont remember if the medical students were at first semester too .. they just took the test together with the first semester chemistry students but had an alternative version anyway).
Thing is the grading sheet with the right answers was leaked beforehand ... one student wrote the correct answer down and then wrote "one point for every correct formula" underneath ..... How do you finish school without walking in front of a car if you are that damn stupid.
ppkmng ยท 1207 points ยท Posted at 11:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school (classes were in Spanish) a teacher was angry about people copy-pasting online material for homework. She claimed one essay even contained a "click here if you want to know more about Tutankhamun". One one of my classmates started laughing and the teacher told him "you shouldn't be laughing, you didn't even realize your essay was in Portuguese!". I wish I was making this up...
Lol i once remember my friend copied off someone on a spanish quiz. Unfortunately he copied the name of the person on it aswell so the teacher was confused as to why one person had two quizes lmao.
edwfit21 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people copy the name of the people they cheat from. I hear this happens alot.
I don't know about that poster, but my high school didn't much care. You'd get low points (but not zero) and a red note on your paper, but that's it. My high school was run to just push people out.
That's any American highschool for you. The"accelerated education" program was only for kids who wanted to drop out. It let you graduate a year early by taking toned down versions of the same classes as everyone else.
ppkmng ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:06:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was one of the first assignments with that teacher, and she set the tone right for her course. However, I don't know what the consequences were for those students.
No it's not, what the fuck? At my school if you plagiarized, you'd get a 0 on the assignment, and you would likely get dropped from your class or even potentially suspended.
As a portuguese i find this hilarious, because it was probably not even portuguese from Portugal but rather from Brazil, which happens an awfull lot in our schools
It happens more than you think. I've had more students argue that clearly copy-pasted papers were original than I'd ever thought, even though most of the papers still contain hyperlinks to ads and copyright information.
My Spanish teacher was out for pretty much the whole semester during my freshman year and the sub at one point actually couldn't tell the difference between Spanish and Russian...
Had a similar experience in high school. I took Spanish from first grade and Russian from Seventh. We had one time in Spanish class, that being you couldn't speak English. So ofc we spoke Russian or Chinese to fuck with the teacher.
NAG3LT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:47 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience back in school, one student has just copied a Wikipedia article for his essay about water. It was a Russian language school and student's native language was Russian.
However, the essay was in Bulgarian. Which was obvious as soon as you looked past the title. It was just the word water (ะะพะดะฐ), that was identical in both languages.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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ppkmng ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between copying something and using it for research. You are allowed to use what you read online as long as you cite it properly.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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ppkmng ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I believe it was for the students to learn something about ancient Egypt.
I had a classmate who was always looking for help during physics and chemistry tests. I whispered the answers of a couple of objective questions to him once. Unfortunately, he misheard them.
The teacher was very curious about how he arrived at the answer 'tomatography' where the correct conclusion was 'chromatography'.
haha, i had a "friend" in high school who always used to copy my answers on tests for classes that we had together. In one class we were learning about James McCarthy and, unfortunately for him, my hand writing is shit so for one of the answers he wrote something about McCarthy giving Bibles to Pepsi as a bribe or something like that. When we got our tests back and were looking over them he got all mad because he got that one wrong. When I asked him what he wrote and he showed me i cracked the fuck up. I can only imagine what its like to be a high school teacher going through all these generic answers and then to read something like that, "uh what... what the fuck... where the fuck did this kid come up with that?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized "tomatography" is what you'd get if you tried to make a portmanteau of tomography and chromatography. Huh.
In any case, your classmate is a doofus who should have studied more. Carry on.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've told this story on here before, how my math teacher needed to catch a student cheating by looking on another students test/copying answers. I took the test and put down all wrong answers, obviously wrong (square root of 64 is orange kinda wrong). The other student copied everything without thinking about it. Even my name and student ID number at the top of the page.
(Yes, I took the test previously for credit, this time was to be outrageously wrong to catch a cheater.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only way my this makes sense is if that student could not read English very well at all, was retarded, or was in kindergarten. Even a half retarded ESL 1st grader would write down their own name.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think. But really, she was that dumb and lazy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who copied the name of the person he was cheating off of on his test. Two tests turned in with the same name. He got busted and never lived it down.
Having seen med students in the lab (they have to do some basic chemistry lab work together with their chemistry test) I dont think I could be suprised anymore.
To be fair they probably did not expect having to do basic chemistry when they decided to study medicine, I know how oblivious I was when I started to study (chemistry) but still...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd agree except that you need 2.5 years of chem to apply to med school these days. General chem, organic I and II, and biochem. I used to teach for an MCAT prep company and was shocked when I learned how many people cheated their way through and some didn't even write their own applications. I'd like to think the ones that get through get crushed in the first couple years of med school though.
Similar situation here. Was taking a forensic anthropology class for my undergrad (thought it would be an interesting GE... I was mistaken) the first test comes around and the professor sends out a study guide, a day later before I could do my own someone sends out the guide completed to the class, test is almost word for word the study guide, I am a happy guy. Next test rolls around someone else decided to be the nice guy this time and filled out the guide and sent it to the class, except this idiot didn't bother to remove the professor from the email chain... professor completely changed the test to stuff not on the guide, and didn't even send out a study guide for the last test.... some people are really smart, but really stupid at the same time
In primary school I copied test answers from the girl next to me. The teacher thought it was suspicious that there were two papers with the name Amy on them.
S1212 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooooh im kinda guilty of that. Had a statistic exam, had 48 hours to do it. Mostly statistic feel like a distant cousin language of my mother tongue, so during the 48 hours i had more than once copied in some notes i used to shape my paper, and my note taking self liked to remind me that "THERE IS POINT FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG TOO RETARD". those exact words was present more than once in my paper...
Reminds me of an English class where our teacher would give one of us the textbook to go and make copies of the test for the class. Naturally, whoever did got all the answers from the back, I don't think she really cared all that much if someone did it, she wasn't a good teacher all things considered. Anyhow on one of the test questions we were supposed to rewrite the sentence leaving out the word 'on' which was shown in the answer page as 'omit on'. It was hilarious when half the class that resorted to copying over the answers ended up adding 'omit' infront of 'on', not knowing what the word actually meant.
Webo31 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favourite one
Tg15291 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:21:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time when we were going through the answers in class and a kid in my class put up his hand really confidently and said parent/teacher to check
I'm in college and have gotten to talking with some of the professors. One really hates collecting homework because it can be so disheartening sometimes. He would have people, 18+, do about half of a problem and then just copy from the answer key. He's even seen them put, "Answers may vary," down as their solution/conclusion.
In primary school, that's almost understandable and you need to try to teach them not to do that. In college it's just sad.
Mr_TubbZ ยท 1164 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In nutrition class at CC, the teacher asks "what's one of the first things you throw out of the window when you drink alcohol", this kid just mumbles: "standards".
mike5799 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 12:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you lower your standards you get laid a lot more.
jpsky ยท 10204 points ยท Posted at 02:05:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question:
A man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river. He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing. If the fox and the chicken are left together, the fox will eat the chicken. If the chicken and the corn are left together, the chicken will eat the corn. How does the man do it?
Student's answer: "Let the chicken eat the corn, and let the fox eat the chicken. Then bring the fox over."
I have a dogwolf that listens to me when she feels like it.
I would trust her with my life, but I wouldn't leave her with a goat. A cabbage would be safe, but she does like carrots.
fdar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Person + either fox or goat (or wolf, I'm not sure what version we're in) takes the boat right to it's very limit. Even adding a single cabbage would be too much.
Of course, when you're taking the cabbage you have some extra room, but not enough for any of your animals.
HBStone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:14 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the goat over, then go back. Take the wolf over, drop it off, take the goat back to the original side. Take the cabbage and drop it off over with the wolf. Then go back and get the goat.
It makes me incredibly happy to learn that he's aware of the phenomenon and has considered it to that extent.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:33:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's relevant.
SirVer51 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:41:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno why you're getting downvoted for asking a question. In any case, it's because it's funny when you get it, which is rare, and the rest of the time you learn something new by trying to understand it.
What I mean is there is always at least 1 dude, in almost every other thread that links to XKCD.
I dunno, do those people know every comic made by XKCD or what?
Just asking. Jeezus people.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:05:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't know every comic, it's just a popular comic so there's a lot of people that remember a few each, and the nature of the comic as well as the number of strips makes them relevant relatively often.
Additionally, xkcds are well tagged and easy to search for: Googling "cabbage goat site:xkcd.com" immediately results in the correct strip so remembering a comic immediately enables one to post it, most of the time. They aren't linked that often either, that's just confirmation bias.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Skellige the other day and there was a mountain right in the middle of it. I had to get to the otherside.
I aiiiint going around, I can tell you that, no sir, no mister. Not me.
Funny thing actually. I climbed it without Roach (obviously) and then I made my descent with Roach. Guess which took longer. The descend of all things.
The trick is to jump. Roach doesn't take falling damage, so you can jump with him without worrying.
Also, when climbing mountains, the second you start to slide, if you do it right, you can roll up the hill. Then, even if you start to slide you don't lose any ground.
I did jump... ** a lot**. I got stuck more often than not.
Well at the end of it, it made me so pissed that I went and isabled fall damage, climbed the mountain... again. And then jumped with Geralt all the way down. It felt great!
Milo359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skyrim Breath of the Wild
FTFY
But seriously, there's sometimes people posing as random travelers on the roads that then reveal themselves as members of the Yoga Clan who want to murder the hero. The hero is you. Cue a fight.
And for whatever reason, in addition to their sickle that they used as a weapon and some rupees, they drop, out of all things, bananas.
Take chicken across.
Take bag of grain across-- dump out grain and put chicken in bag so can't eat grain.
Take fox across -- let chicken out and put grain back in bag.
Babeuf58 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing how happily satisfying it made me feel to figure this out.
I think it's because in real life, I find myself in situations way less complicated, yet my brain fails me. Like the time I got my hand 'stuck' in the car window.
While at a stop light on a rainy day, went to quickly toss some crumbs out the window. Had my left hand on the button to roll it down while my right hand reached across and through. The light turned green and I switched to close the window real quick while my hand was still out. Because it was only cracked in the first place, there was no time to pull my hand out before it got 'stuck'. I started to panic, because for the life of me I couldn't get my brain to understand I had to release or reverse the button to stop the window/roll it back down. So I sat there for a few seconds, trying in vain to pull my stuck hand back in while continuing to push down on the button closing the window.
There were witnesses to this epic failure of human evolution as I had passengers (scary to think I was actually driving a damn car at the time), which was probably a good thing because it was one of them yelling out through laughter to 'Let up on the button!' that finally snapped my goddamned sense back and set my hand free.
But hey, give me a goat, a fox, some corn and a row boat and I've got it covered!
You're being downvoted for asking a genuine question, that's sad. You seem to be confused about both shore sides though. The fox/chicken and chicken/corn can never be left alone. Not on the shore they are leaving from, but neither on the shore they are heading towards.
So he takes the corn with him and row across the river, like you said. But where are the fox and chicken during that time? They are on the shore without the man. That means nothing is stopping the fox from eating the chicken. That's why he can't take the corn first. He must take the chicken first, leaving the fox with the corn, which the fox won't eat. The trick is he can take the chicken back on the boat after bringing it across the river to avoid it being alone with the fox or corn.
retief1 ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 04:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is literally one valid step at every point that doesn't result in a loop or something getting eaten.
Step one: all on near side
If you cross alone, take the fox, or take the corn, something will get eaten. Therefore, you have to bring the chicken over.
Step two: farmer and chicken far, fox and corn near
You can cross with or without the chicken. Bringing the chicken brings us back to step one, so cross alone.
Step three: chicken far, fox, corn, and farmer near
Crossing alone brings us back to step 2, so bring something along. The fox and the corn are functionally equivalent (each can't coexist with the chicken, but can coexist with the other), so it doesn't matter which one you bring. For the sake of argument, say you brought the corn.
Step four: chicken, corn, and farmer far, fox near
If you cross alone, the corn will get eaten. If you cross with the corn, you are back to step three. Therefore, you have to cross with the chicken. This seems backwards, so people ignore it and get stuck. However, it is literally the only valid option at this point. If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains has to be true.
Step five: corn far, chicken, fox, and farmer near
If you cross alone, the chicken will get eaten. If you take the chicken, you go back to step four. Therefore, you have to take the fox.
Step six: corn, fox, and farmer far, chicken near
If you cross with the fox, you go back to step five. If you cross with the corn, you go back to an equivalent of step five (remember, the corn and the fox are basically the same). Therefore, you have to go back alone.
Step seven: corn and fox far, farmer and chicken near
If you cross alone, you go back to step six. Therefore, you have to cross with the chicken, which solves the problem.
I dunno, you gotta be more mathy. I don't consider it a proof unless you throw some sets in there, involve some graph theory, and throw in the words "trivially" and "without loss of generality". FTFY:
Assumptions:
(1) A chicken may never be left with corn, and vice versa. Likewise, a fox may never be left with a chicken.
(2) A farmer may only take at most one object with him while transiting the river.
Let S be the set of objects consisting of a sack of corn, a fox, and a chicken. Let C, F, and H be elements of A such that C = fox corn, F = fox, H = chicken. We will show that there is only one set of moves for each decision point such that a graph representing successful decisions is acyclic, that is a tree.
We begin by looking at C and H. By (1) we see that that C and H may never be on the same bank together. Likewise H and F may not coexist, so we trivially take C.
The farmer may now either return with H, or return by himself. Since returning with H produces a cycle, the farmer returns by himself.
Now we examine C and F. Since neither C nor F can exist with H on the same bank, we can pick either one. Without loss of generality we shall pick F.
The farmer now has H and F on the same side of the bank. By (1) this is not valid, so either H or F must be sent to the other side. Since F will produce a cycle, we select H.
Now we must pick between C and H. Since picking H will produce a cycle, we must select C.
Lastly, we travel back empty handed and bring H over. Now all elements of S are on the correct bank.
Edit: a word
retief1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, I wanted to use WLOG when I could bring over either the fox or the corn.
Milo359 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains has to be true."
That's gold right there.
Sooolow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eat the chicken, eat the corn, take the Fox across
Problem solved and now ur not hungry either
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're correct, but you way over explained things.
Take the chicken across; go back, grab the grain; take that across; grab the chicken; leave the grain and go back with the chicken; grab the fox; leave the chicken; take the fox across; go back; grab the chicken; cross with the chicken.
simple, fox first. grain second as fox does not feed on grain, chicken last. everyone makes this too complicated.overthink much is the test other than thinking skills outside the box.
retief1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you take the fox first, the chicken eats the grain while you are on the other side of the river. You can't take the grain first for the same reason. The only option is chicken first.
Runescape prepared me for this question as a wee lad.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:57:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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rdog065 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if this counts but couldn't you put the chicken in the boat with you, then take and oar and cinch the bag of corns opening around where it tapers and becomes larger, have the fox float along with the bag by holding it. Use other oar to row, have second oar pulling bag and fox. If you only have one oar then that doesn't work though.
The rules only state that all three have to make it to the other side. The rules don't say that any of the items have to be usable after they reach the other side. The chicken is the lynchpin. Bring the chicken over, and then go back for either the fox or corn. Doesn't matter if the chicken or the corn get eaten on the other side.
Smgth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave the fox, what the fuck are you doing with a fox it's a dangerous wild animal, what are you, nuts?!
man get in boat and take korn akross river first but fox die from malnourish and bird drown by swimming after man. man get to other side to find korn is aktually rok. is life in latvia
Runescape taught me this one. Take the chicken across come back...take the corn across bring the chicken back...take the fox down come back...finally take the chicken across.
yup, its a pretty typical course in a CS program. overview of classical game playing AI (think chess games) and then some modern AI techniques (probabilistic models, neural networks, deep learning)
cool. i think what helps prior to getting started is making a flow diagram as below to see what is most connected and what is a one way street (for much more complex problems)
Oh yeah, ironically I don't technically need to solve it myself. Rather the assignment is to write a program that defines the potential states of the problem and can search through them to find all possible solutions to it.
this is why you should always question whether or not you can get an analytical solution or approximation with simpler models. AI and the tools surrounding it add too many variables...
I had the corn in the boat and had the chicken swim across chasing the corn and the fox swimming after the chicken. I drew it up and everything. 0 points
The actual answer is take the chicken across, come back pickup the corn, take it to the other side, take the chicken back with you, then take the fox to the other side, finally come back for the chicken.
so he takes the chicken across goes back and grabs the corn takes the corn across and grabs the chicken taking it back to the original side then takes the fox across then goes back for the chicken?
Wait wait I got this.... he brings the chicken across, goes back and gets the corn, brings the corn across, leaves it on the other side and brings the chicken back with him, then leaves the chichen and takes the fox across, then finally goes back and retrieves the chicken..... yes...yes that's it
stands proud :D
all204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At university I took a class where we mapped this out as a set of boolean equations and simplified it. We then created a circuit diagram using logic gates, switches and LED and built it. It was super cool to work out the whole process from word problem through to the final circuit!
I just like how this river is apparently wide enough that the chicken can peck its way through the sack in the time it takes to cross it twice, but not wide enough that the chicken or the fox won't wander off in the time it takes to cross it twice, since apparently we don't have crates for the fox or the chicken.
Nonono you bring the chicken over, then go back, bring the fox over, bring the chicken back, bring the corn over, and then go back and get the chicken.
Take the chicken over, then go back and take the fox over. Take the chicken back, trade for corn and take the corn over. Go back and take the chicken over.
My answer for this as a kid was to take the chicken, come back for the corn and then leave the fox behind because what do you need a fox for anyway? the teacher marked me down, wanker that he was.
Who cares? It's going to be demolished for a hyperspace bypass. No use getting all uptight about it now, the plans have been up on Alpha Centauri for 50 years.
Then again, it lies in the ZZ Plural 9 sector (I think), and travelling around there is weird, sometimes things pop in and out of existence with hyperspace travel through there. Eesh. Don't forget your towel
I mean, what is a relatively poorly written question.
CWRUW4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it is with a lot of these answers...I mean what did they expect? When kids have to guess what the question is actually asking you pick the most possible vague technically right answer because you don't know what else to do lol.
WMSA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:43:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student of mine answered the question "Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America?", with "Well he couldn't swim there could he?"
I'm from Canada - just knowing it was in Dallas was good enough.
Lirdon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as a technical trainer these kinds of questions are my pet peeve. Why the fuck would you write a simplistic question like that if you want to have a specific answer?!
apdea ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am in Canada and it was an elective course called "Intro to American history". The teacher started the term off by handing out a short quiz to see how much every knew. Had questions like "what is the Capitol city of New York State", "how many presidents have their been", "what do the Stars and Stripes in the flag represent", and more.
Most likely not - but they are helpful to know if you are into trivia games as most of the games are produced for an American player and have questions geared towards them.
In general the first response I think is the one the kid is most interested in... assuming that was his first response (I.e he didn't second guess himself), that guy should be a doctor or something.
Reminds me of this fantastic moment on Pointless where a lady answers 'Assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas' with JR from the Dallas Soap Opera.
On my 8th grade constitution test, I didn't know where the deceleration of independence was signed so I put "At the bottom" and I didn't get marked down for that because our teacher had a great sense of humor.
skyvex1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if they gave a full description of the scene with the street and the cars and the people as if they've been there before...
That is just a poorly worded question. Even I would think the answer was in the head... Why not "Where was he assassinated" but even that is not great. Why not just ask the question with the answer in mind aka "what state/place"
1st shot entered the back and exited his throat, hitting the dude in front of him, 2nd shot popped him in the medulla, 3rd shot missed (though we don't know which order those came in)
All things considered hitting a slow moving target (particularly one moving away from you linearly rather than laterally) from 81 yards with a scoped rifle isn't particularly astounding, but given the time window of the shots and the garbage round he was using, Oswald was a pretty decent shot
Except we all know he wasn't the real shooter. Everyone knows JFK was the shooter on the grassy knoll so he could fix time and get the recognition in history he deserved, because if he didn't act as the second shooter in his own assassination then the mob would take over the country and allow Russia to win the space race and put nukes near the mainland
I guess it got lost in translation, but where I'm from you say it the same way, "Vart jobbar du?"(where do you work?) means both where(location) and where(company). However, the way you say it alters which one you mean. It's easy to get it wrong if you're not paying attention.
A fellow student was asked "where did the plane that was shit down take off", soon after the Malaysian airlines stuff a few years ago. The teacher wanted a student to say Malaysia, he said "the runway".
False! If we watch the video we see he falls back, and to the left; back, and to the left. There is no way the bullet in question hit him in the head. The only explanation is the obvious! A second shooter! I'm sure this would have gotten bonus points.
Egrizzzzz ยท 10999 points ยท Posted at 00:35:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a story from my fiancee's childhood. They were testing her intelligence or awareness, and showed her an image with a tv in a room. The tv was turned on, shpwing a cartoon, and had a plant on top of it.
Q: What's on the Television?
A: A plant.
Apparently she just kept insisting in utter frustration until the administrator bothered to look at the image and not the answer sheet.
divajedi ยท 6351 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a friend's story: I don't know about public schools, but for sure at private schools you get a little quiz-type test with a teacher before they confirm you're ready for kindergarten. One of the things he had to do was identify pictures. He aced the section except for the picture of the airplane - he looked and thought hard and then burst into tears saying, "I don't know! I don't know what that is!"
Turns out his dad worked for Boeing and he was trying (and failing) to discern exactly what model plane the super-generic picture was depicting.
During a similar test I was completely sure the color I was supposed to identify was dark blue, not black. I was so insistent that the tester got a few other people to look at it, and they decided that it really was a very dark blue.
cindel ยท 1212 points ยท Posted at 06:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a Maddox rant about lipstick colours where he puts up two shades of red claiming no person could possibly discern between them, but one was quite clearly pinker so I always wondered if it was a troll.
Years later I did that colour test, turns out I have "perfect colour sight" whatever the shit that means. I think it just means you can pick the subtle differences between colours better.
Edit: Yes guys I know women can see more hues than men, I have so many message saying this <3
Also tetrachromia is super rare and I really have no idea how to tell if I'd have it. If anyone can tell me that would be cool.
Bubblegum pink and rainbows just make me stupid happy. I make my own nail polish colours too.
[deleted] ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 08:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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cindel ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 08:16:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to collect paint sample cards as a kid. Just to look at them.
AHHHHH SAME! I had completely forgotten about that my dad used to get them for me!
One of my earliest memories was as a kid maybe 2 or 3 years old looking up at this net shelf thingy in my room that had ribbons hanging off it in pink, purple and yellow and I remember how happy that combination of colours altogether made me. I still love those 3 colours together.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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cindel ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:14:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I wonder if it means anything. You know how they use that certain shade of pink in drunk tanks and things like that? I wonder if there's anything psychologically to that specific combination of colours.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:47:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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cindel ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:55:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I love purple but only as a friend.
cindel ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started painting us a tree in those colours, but I only have crappy paints so the purple turned out too muddy and it is unpleasant. When I fix it up I'll post a picture.
You two are so cute! I love this bonding over colors :) and I'd love to see the tree when it's done
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly just happy and surprised that I'm not the only colour obsessed weirdo xD
I promise I'll post it, I need to go and pick up some new paints though. Mine are all dried up. Also I'm terrible at painting, it won't be any good, but I will happily show you :p
I'm too lazy to link it but there was a recent study done where the color green was shown to decrease pain in mice. I only bring it up because if colors can affect our pain tolerance, then I have to think they can affect our moods.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've also read that looking at green creates a more peaceful mindset psychologically and helps calm stress.
Weighing in as an anonymous colour weirdo! Also aced that test. Used to get in arguments all the time as a kid about what was blue vs purple (I'm super drawn to those shades) Mom is an artist but I always mixed her paint for her, now that I live on my own I instruct her over the phone. (she can't even draw a rainbow without swapping yellow and green and it breaks my brain, one day I broke down and drew her a colour wheel to keep on the fridge lol)
That blue and black dress was clear as a bell to me. I also collected paint samples. Now I have so many makeup pallets l never use but sparkly colours in a pattern is literally my weakness. I play with my make-up all the time even though I generally don't wear any for work. My kitchen is white and rainbow themed and every sunny window in my house is full of crystals and coloured glass. I also think this is why I still love Disney movies so much though I'm nearly 30.
That blue and black dress fucked with my head because it kept swapping back and forth. Like I would look at the pic, decide it was blue and black, close Reddit, see it again while scrolling and it would magically be white and gold, and then later swap again. And I could never willingly see the other colour, even though I saw it both ways at different times.
I thought it was funny how everyone on facebook was complaining because the dress debate was so overblown/bullshit or w/e. I knew from the start it was just a neat little trick of the eye/brain that clearly worked differently on different people. What was interesting was the experience of standing with a friend, looking at the same thing, and seeing something completely different. That was really neat to me.
I know! It sucks because I kinda hate kids, enough that I don't even generally enjoy seeing the movies in theatres because the kids are really talkative...
(to clarify, I'm glad the children are happy, I want them to be, but I don't enjoy listening to them be happy)
haha i thought of going into better detail there since I really oversold how nice it must look. At work so no photo, but it's really not worth it.
A full kitchen reno has been at the bottom of the To-do since we moved in. Itโs just plain white cupboards, walls and tiles with terrible dusty rose countertops. All of our appliances are black/nickle and we have some stone and wood items in there as well. Overall, a horrible themeless mishmash. But since it was mostly colourless I decided to start filling the room with smallish things that are rainbow. Fridge magnets, art on the walls (an antique rainbow foil painting, a photo collection of sunsets etc). And a tall plastic organizer with rainbow drawers and a metal frame is what made the room finally look like it had a theme. Bonus, it even makes my blue recycling bin look nice.
At a glance itโs a lot of white with pops of (all)colour all over. I kind of love it though itโs really nothing special. And more accurately, right now at a glance itโs piles of dishes and other things because we in my house are horrible slovenly folk.
I wonder if there's a community for colour enthusiasts like us (separate from like art groups and stuff). Seeing other people that collected paint samples etc. has actually been really amusing to me.
I love colors too! I don't like 1 or 2 but if they're all together or along with others or on things that fit I love even those. I have that synesthesia thing with colors though so maybe that's why?
Dason37 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In today's world there's about 37372584827 things you could love that would be weirder or "worse". enjoy your colors, it sounds awesome, especially the wool part.
When I was a kid, I was also fascinated by colours. I had one of those giant boxes of crayola with like 96 colours and I would just fill up sheets of paper with "test spots", and also organize the box according to colour.
Then as an adult, I had tons of different colors of nail polish, most of which I didn't even wear, but I had them all lined up like the rainbow and really enjoyed looking at them. Sadly I gave that collection away when I moved :(
I know just what you mean! The two things I consistently impulse buy are makeup and yarn. It feels like the closest I can come to collecting colors, and that makes me happy.
Is it time consuming or difficult making your own nail polishes? Is it expensive?
I've never thought of doing it before, but it really sounds fun!
cindel ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:14:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not prohibitively expensive, I think my starter kit cost about $150 and that's everything you need really.
I badly wanted to create a line of DOTA 2 themed nail polishes, and other video games too like a colour based on Zelda's dress and stuff like that.
Unfortunately I discovered I am unable to ship nail polishes overseas as they're considered a dangerous combustible. They can be sent by sea, but you have to buy a whole pallette of space which costs thousands of dollars.
It's only time consuming coz I'm a nerd so I spend hours getting the colour exactly what I want one drop at a time. I imagine a normal person wouldn't spend that much time :p
I've never thought of doing it before, but it really sounds fun!
I started doing it because I colours I bought were never quite what I wanted so I'd mix them and adjust them, but then I figured there had to be an easier way. If you're interested google "frankenpolish" it's a whole thing of DIY nailpolishes :)
Can't ship 'em but you can send 'em by sea? I know what you mean but I still find that stament amusing.
0vinq0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might have just convinced me to finally pull the trigger on making my own polishes. I've been searching for one color for years and still haven't found it. Might just need to make it myself!
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do iiiiiit! It's so fun. Send me pics when you do!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I has to do that the other day
Were I am didn't have silver nail polish. So I had to make silver from a color called stary meteorite.
It's more of a black color.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great advice. Fabric paint is easy to use and works wonderfully.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever checked out /r/malepolish? A lot of them seem to be dads whose daughters painted their nails and they liked having colour on there so they kept doing it. It's really awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a shame that guys can't just do whatever they want with nailpolish or makeup. I hope it changes soon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:46 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just such a dumb thing to ridicule someone because of this idea that you shouldn't like colours on your nails because you're a guy? I don't know, it's never made much sense to me, I guess because I was a tomboy growing up and I always felt like the acceptance of that should go back the other way.
It did in my family, one of the boys I grew up with loved pink and butterflies and I was this rough and tumble tree climbing muddy kid. Our parents didn't think anything of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:44 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:47 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean, it's very easy for someone else to say "Who cares what people think" but it's naive to think it'd never make any waves so it's gotta be something you do in your own time.
Trudar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:27:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems kind of doubtful I think. Didn't they only confirm one lady so far as that?
Trudar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there has been many research projects on that topic, but partial tetrachromacy is fairly common. I'd guess since it's not a defect per se, people affected wouldn't even know.
How could a person get tested for that, if they think they might be one?
Trudar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:04:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but I guess, person under test will get shown a small selection of printed color cards, and asked if any of these cards are exactly the same color/shade. I guess given enough comparisons and proper algorithm you can asses one's color resolution. Tetrachromatic person should have superior one.
Second test I can think of, and probably much quicker, would be showing single color on a sliding scale from low red to high violet. Assuming it has been printed with exactly same intensity, colours that are perceived more 'full' and 'intense' should correspond to maximums of color sensitivity of respective types of cone cells. There should be three maximums for ordinary persons, and four for tetrachromats.
Both tests could be done in normal lighting and in very dark room, to enable rods in color sensing and filter them out.
I believe I messed terminology, but someone versed in the subject, for example DTP engineer should be able to correct me or maybe propose different test altogether.
Akeche ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... the pale purple color is called rainbows?
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:09:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no, the rainbows comment is not related to the pictures :p
If you haven't already tried it, I think you'd like Blendoku too. You get a bunch of colors and put them in order. Sometimes it's monochromatic (white/faintest color to darkest) and sometimes you have to figure out the order of a blend/transition (purple to green or blue to red).
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave it a go, but it's weird how the hues go horizontally but don't match vertically. Thanks for the recommendation!
Omvega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just because the colors you posted are what's on my nails right now AND you mentioned you make your own... lemme share
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, is that the water swirling?! I still haven't tried that it looks so cool.
Omvega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been obsessed with witch postits (color,not size) to get for days. My work has these weird (unsticky) generi. Brand light-death-yellow colored ones that just don't do it for me because it looks like yellow passed away after depression and proceeded to rot for some time. Oh and the regular yellow ones are too yellow. They have these bright yellows, like sunflowers, but they're impossible to get outside of a color mix, which has a shitty shade of mucky blue in it =(
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:59 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0vinq0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, person with suspiciously similar interests to mine. My flair on /r/redditlaqueristas is "Color lover." I had a collection of over 200 polishes before I moved. Only took my most important 20 or so. I've been insistently particular on the color scheme for our new apartment in order to have the best psychological effect (bedroom furniture is all light grey with pale green and white bed linens). I think some of us just have stronger psychological relationships with colors.
And regarding your story above, here's a fun fact: women generally have a better ability to distinguish colors than men. There are of course exceptions, but from what I've read, this is believed to be due to women's roles as the gatherers in hunter gatherer societies. The ability to distinguish between "delicious berry red" and "poisonous berry red" was a trait that actually could have influenced our evolution. More reading, if you're interested.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bedroom furniture is all light grey with pale green and white bed linens
You finally explained it for me. I too have this. It bothered me my entire life because I work retail and someone would ask me to bring them a black bag and I'm like "you mean the dark blue one?" it was so glaringly obvious to me and I couldn't figure out if they were all messing with me. I figured it was some form of color-blindedness.
cindel ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 08:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I should have guessed it, I always used to argue with people over whether lilac was purple or blue. It seemed so obviously purple to me that I couldn't understand how people would get "blue" from that.
Then when I got older I found out about the cones in your retina that help you see red shades, and how some peoples' are better than others, particularly women are generally able to see more shades of red than men.
cindel ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:32:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently. It seems crazy to me too but there were people who would swear blind it was blue and thought the purple people were fucking with them.
Zyzyfer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:50:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an interesting chain. I saw an article recently that laid out the 3 types of colorblindness, and if I remember correctly one of the common ones is colors like purple being muted.
Edit: I think I got it backwards. But found this visual representation of the different types.
cindel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:40:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh of course! Of course it's periwinkle. I'm an idiot. It's one of my favourite colours too.
Not as favourite as chartreuse though. Though put chartreuse, salmon and periwinkle together and I might just lie on the ground and roll in them.
i don't tend to like triadic three color combinations, i prefer closer to monochromatic, or opposed dyadic. but i could never really pick a favorite color or color scheme...
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i have a thing for impossible colors, like yellows that look bluish without appearing green, usually in the context of those two colors together.
i also tend to like really punchy hues of red.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out coolors.co, it's a swatch maker that you can change the hue of something one "point" (?) at a time, and change the colour very gradually. And yeah like, if you think about it that's the same for me. Periwinkle and chartreuse are both colours that are on the cusp of being two colours at once. It's what I like about them.
I can't see the difference between purple and blue. I didn't even know until my husband was all "did you just call that purple?! IT'S TOTALLY BLUE! What's wrong with you? Are you joking?!" He then googled some online color blindness test and made me take it. I am like blue purple color confused or something. Whatever. Close enough.
I have this problem with some microwaves that have displays somewhere between blue and green. I'm picky about what I call blue, so I call the color I was seeing green to the consternation of the blue-insistent.
It's also a question of perception as well. There are language that don't distinguish between green and blue, but that doesn't mean speakers of those languages don't actually see a difference.
Two people who disagree over whether a particular hue is blue or purple could be seeing the exact same thing and just have different ideas about at what point the transition from 'blue' to 'purple' happens.
OMG THIS IS ME. One year a club I was in gave out free tshirts in this color, and one day a friend goes, oh that's a nice blue shirt, where'd you get it? AND I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK. Turns out a few more people have asked me the same question and I still get shocked every time.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should put out their eyes for their insolence.
Oh god it's just as frustrating on the flip side. When you ask someone to hang you the black bag (that you THINK is clearly black) and then you get an argument over the color of something instead of the item itself.
(Disclaimer: I've taken all the color-blindness tests and I have normal color vision.)
I had the opposite problem recently. A woman was giving me directions where to go down the block that went like "And the entrance is right past that blue Jeep." I can't see a blue Jeep. She's gesticulating wildly, still nothing. Finally, I see a black Jeep, and ask her if that's what she meant, and she said yes.
When I got up close to the Jeep I realized that it was actually a very dark blue, but when she said "blue" I was expecting blue to be the dominant color, not just a slight tint. Who calls a very dark color of anything by its unqualified color name, when it actuality it looks a lot closer to black than to that color?
In her defense, if she truly sees colors like me it looks more like a navy blue to her. Like it's so blatantly obvious to people with odd vision like this that we don't even think about it.
Co-worker asked me to bring her the green tray the other day and I stopped and looked at her, super confused. We have white trays and brown trays. Apparently the white ones look green to her. I asked other co-workers and they see the trays as white, too.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 07:53:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was one on Facebook a few days ago. There were 10 boxes with words written in them in a slightly contrasting color. Unfortunately I've forgotten where my Activities is on mobile, but I'll find you a link when I get to work.
Meanwhile, here's a game. The problem for me is that my limitations are in specific colors, as might yours be. I got 7 the first time I tried it and 14 the second, stopped the first on shades of blue and the second on green. My guess my blues cones are not as sensitive as the others.
It's weird because some of the later ones I would be thinking they were all the same colour, but then magically after staring at it a few seconds, the odd one would become super obvious. Like a magic eye puzzle.
Maybe that means my eyes are near perfect, but my brain is slow at processing the color differences?
Yeah I get between 25-30. After around the 20 mark it just gets really hard for me to focus on any one square when they're in the huge pattern like that. Once I actually manage to focus on the discolored one it's super obvious to me.
I got 29 on this as well but I really have no idea how I did that. I felt like I was guessing on a lot of them... Then it would give me a point. Weird. Go Hawk eyes. Guess that lasik is paying off after all.
I got 27 and 1 (male), my error was on the last one I got to. I used to work as a graphic designer though so I'm used to discerning shades on screens.
With music, they say you can't truly learn perfect pitch after childhood. Some people still "fake" it. I imagine this is similar, where you can get better.
Ha. I got 27 but with 7 errors. Playing on my phone though so probably not the best color representation and size is a factor. It's incredible that you were able to only mis 1.
I wonder how much the monitor might matter for that test. I've always been under the impression that I suck at colors. But I just got 33 with 0 errors on the first try. I'll have to have my wife take this later :)
the lower the score, the better your color vision.
of course, this relies on your monitor being able to display colors well, which is why it's being used to sell monitor calibration tools. the actual farnsworth-munsell hue-acuity test is done with physical objects.
Yeah sorry that was a joke. Tetrachromacy is restricted to women as two of the genes that control the types of cones are on the x-chromosome. To have four types of cone you need two x-chromosomes and a mutation in one of the genes on the second x. Women are women because they have xx, where men have xy
Hypothetically, if someone had a genetic condition that gives XXY chromosomes(I want to say Huntington but I am probably wrong) could they have tetrachromancy?
Cicute ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Klienfelter syndrome. Huntington's is a disease that basically comes from a glitch where a three-base sequence of the DNA is copied so much that it makes the protein produced toxic.
To answer your question though, yes. The x chromosome contains the gene for two types of cones and a mutation can alter the wavelength of light that either cone detects. Having two (or more) x chromosomes means that you'll get two (or more!) different forms of each cone. What's cool is that there's a process called x-inactivation which randomly turns off almost the whole chromosome, meaning that most part of the body, including the retinal cells iirc, express different chromosomes. Theoretically there could be more variation if mutations on that cone produce even more alternative ranges of wavelength detection and someone with more than 2 X chromosomes received even more alternative cones.
I may be wrong as I don't work with the visual system but I'm happy to look up sources to confirm when I get home.
as a dude, i'm so good at distinguishing colors other people (even women) cannot that i've actually considered getting tested for chromosomal anomalies.
Please do. If it's really expensive it should be easy to get it funded by other people, through offering videos of you doing tricks with your color-eagle-eyedness or something, showing off your mutant skills. Calling yourself Mantis-shrimp-man and joining a circus as a shrimp version of a mereman could work too, I guess.
Huh, ok then! I'd have to take a bunch of tests and stuff, but I feel like I've always been able to discern shades of colours better than most people around me. Could be because I work with colour, or because I really like to be specific when I mention a colour.
FWIW, he's not being a troll. the lab values he gives are exactly correct. and the colors are different -- i can see a slight difference between them, and i'm a male.
the white between them actually makes a bit easier to think you see a difference. here they are side-by-side:
In the fantasy series Lightbringer the magic system is based on color, and it's a plot point that one of the main characters has perfect color vision, but nobody believes him at first because he is a man and mostly only women have this ability.
Given that it was a thing on the Internet (involving Maddox), and computer screens are RGB, tetrachromacy doesn't really factor in.
FeniEnt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my first job when I was in high school. I was cleaning and helping with some stuff. They were manufacturing car and bathroom refreshers there. One day someone screw up and mixed two colours of lids. Dark brown and black. I was supposed to sort them. There was a little problem though, they all looked exactly the same to me.
I used to work in the paint department at a big box home improvement store. Whenever someone wanted a color match, the department lead would call me over because I had a pretty high track record of matching by sight. We did have a color matching machine and we did use it when we were busy or someone wanted a closer match and we didn't have any colors on the pallets that were close enough (we had a lot of pallets).
But yeah. It surprises me how many people can't see mild differences in grey/blue, blue/purple, and red/pink. Also, different shades of grey. I can't tell you how many times someone would ask for help picking a color and had like 6 very different shades of grey. And absolutely no concept of color theory or matching colors
So many stories from that place. I truly loved that job and I miss it terribly.
Cake decorator here. If I had a dime for a customer has said, "just do it in blue" or "I want that in gold" and argued with me about bringing a swatch saying, "blue is blue. Like a dark blue." I'd be able to retire. Your blue is very unlikely to be my blue. Just bring me a damn paint swatch or ribbon or napkin so I can mix your blue and not ruin your wedding ffs. That goes triple for ivory, which can be brownish or yellowish or peachy.
I work with another girl who can't mix custom colors without major assistance. I can just hold up a swatch to the nearest stock color and see what needs to be mixed to match the example.
People would come in and ask for "just an off-white". Imagine their surprise when I pulled out the 150+ color off-white chip pallet and asked them to choose.
I had a conversation with a customer about off-white last week. Wedding theme is rustic, so I was trying to get them to go with a less intense white than our stock color, it took awhile to explain that concept to them. "But off-white is too dark." Gaaah, not if you don't want it to be.
cindel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you should give Brandon Sanderson's 'Warbreaker' a read. It has a color based magic system, and is coincidentially his only book available for free on his website.
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:54:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, that sounds pretty cool. I'm surprised my bf never recommended it he's a huge Sanderson fan.
I've read every Sanderson novel and short story, (including the Alcatraz books), but I somehow missed this one.
Goodbye world. BRB in a few hours after I inhale this book.
SusonoO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a Superchromat! The Chromaria will be pleased to have you.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, what do I win?
SusonoO ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:52:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win the right to be essentially an indentured servant to your home Satrapy and to most likely die before you're 40! On the plus side, you'll be lavished with riches and be highly encouraged to reproduce!
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound like a plus side.
SusonoO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonsense. It's everything you've ever wanted. Promachos Andross Guile thanks you for your service.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I might just stay here tbh. Doesn't sound like my scene.
SusonoO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too late, you'll never be free
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, shit.
SusonoO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I remember when that article was first posted, the colors looked very blatantly different. Now, reading on my phone, they look nearly identical. If I interpose something other than white (like my finger) between the boxes, it's easier to pick out, but still really close.
I wonder how much of this is people being able to see the color differences and how much is the brightness, color balance, and accuracy of people's monitors. If your monitor is over-representing blue, that will increase the apparent difference in the blocks, making them easier to tell apart. A technological advantage, rather than just having amazingly sensitive eyes.
Edit: checked on my monitor at home. I can absolutely see the difference. More pronounced than on my phone.
The screen and image settings you use can definitely be a factor but I think age can also have an effect - so as you get older it gets slightly harder to distinguish between similar shades.
Now, reading on my phone, they look nearly identical.
phone screens are notoriously bad at color. i'm looking at it on a calibrated monitor, with perfect color vision, and they're absurdly close together. but i can tell a difference.
Dude here. Using the trick of sticking my finger between the two I can just barely tell the difference, on some screens, at a certain range of brightnesses. This would be a lot easier to do using actual printed color swatches under bright pure white light, I imagine.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one yep.
I haven't played Colour Picker, there's a few games out there called that. Which one do you recommend?
Yeah I don't know how anti-gay marriage he was, but he did donate $1000 to California's Prop 8 (which banned gay marriage). Nobody is really sure why he did that, it was apparently out of character considering his own statements about inclusiveness at Mozilla, but can't argue with the facts.
dwjlien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same
weird
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The android version works perfectly.
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
huh, assuming what the author says is correct that the average human eye cannot detect differences less than or equal to that value, that still suggests, by the definition of average, that 50% of people can.
I wouldn't consider being in a group with half the human race anything to write home about.
I mean, I see a slight difference, because the right one goes a bit more fuzzy on the edges. I always had that problem that more vibrant colors on dark background go fuzzy on the edges for me, no matter the distance. Usually the effect itself doesn't pose any advantage or disadvantage, but I guess in case of comparing two similar colors, it helps me. I really have to focus to get the idea those two could be seen as the exact same...similar to how those pictures where you can see two different motifs work. I usually get locked into one choice, but when I focus, I can make out the alternative.
I guess I need to test this more. It's a not a clear night and day difference for me and my vision is broken in all kinds of ways anyways.
I can clearly see the duck, but when I focus, I see the rabbit.
In the case of the colored squares, when I take the left square as standard, the right one is similar, but more fuzzy on the edges, but when I focus, I can sort of see why people see them as the same square.
My girlfriend has fairly good colour vision (in comparison to me anyway, normally 98% on those online tests) and she can only tell if you use an image editor to put the boxes next to eachother.
I thought the same thing about Maddox's colors. Those colors were clearly different even if very similar.
I took them side by side in paint and asked a few people who at most answered "Well, maybe I don't know?" I didn't know perfect color sight was a thing though.
You must be a woman? They tend to be able to do this better. Some women in poor fishing communities have the job of sorting the quality of pearls they find by seeing the slight differences in shades of white.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I am. Wow I didn't know that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
men are more likely to be color blind.
So maybe he forgot that.
I wonder if I have this... I've always been good at tracking deer and other animals just by the way grass and leaves vary in color when they've been disturbed.
Yes, but at the same time, the monitor itself is also your biggest bottleneck. The difference is subtle on my phone, but glaring on the monitor I specifically bought for its colours.
If you saw the "real" colours in person, I think the average eye would pretty easily be able to tell the difference. I think Maddox just made the mistake of picking colours that are 4 whatevers across, when the average eye can't see less than 4 across.
Women also tend to be able to distinguish colors better so although many men may not be able to tell the difference, women can. I looked at the picture and the left one is more orange than the right.
An easy way to tell if you have tetrachromia is if you look up at the sky during the day, if it looks purple then you have it, if it looks like sky blue then you don't. If you can't tell try looking at a picture of a blue sky and see if it looks the same or not.
The purple you see (if you do) is you seeing with your fourth cone, which sees ultra Violet, which is very easy to pick up on a spring day.
It is by no means harmful and can even be helpful so don't worry if you do see the sky as purple and not blue. Just remember to use sunscreen regardless.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very interesting. Definitely it looks purplish sometimes, but not every day. On a really clear day, but I wouldn't say it's ever looked proper purple purple, more periwinkle. Other days the sky is just a washed out azure colour.
It's been raining for a week here, I hope it clears up I'm interested to see.
I looked at photos of blue sky, many of them are purplish however it's hard to tell if that's just oversaturated pictures or they have filters on them to make them look nicer.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hsO_RpBT-Ik that video has it slightly. If it looks like that or more purple, and sometimes on hot summers days the grass and foliage looks red, rather than green, then that is tetrachromia. Otherwise you just have very precise colour matching. I was also tested.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:16 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hrrrrm. I really don't know. I'll have to have a look if we ever get another sunny day here.
strikt9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if they can tell just by looking in your eyes. I dunno, I'm good at picking hues but I don't feel like the world is super crazy colourful for me as though I'm seeing "extra" colours. You know, if I see shadows on a purple towel they're still purple. If that makes sense.
strikt9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it, I dont think that you can tell if someone is colour blind by looking.
I think it's just done by testing. Adjusting percentages on a CMYK scale and figuring out where you can see a difference vs the "standard".
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I did have a bit of a discussion with my colleagues. I can see some shades of pink in the shadows of the corner of our office that they can't see, but also they're all men.
Is it the cherry one that looks slightly pinker? I can't entirely tell the difference, but it looks pinker when I use the 'corner of your eye' trick for detecting light.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coat that I had always thought was black. I then left it behind on a school trip to France, and gave the description of it to a teacher who said that they would call up and see if it was still there.
He came back to me and said that because the only coat that they found was navy blue (but otherwise completely matching the description that I had given, including the place that I left it), there was nothing he could do to get it back for me...
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that frequently gets into colour arguments, here's a list of colours w/ meaningful names that includes hue, brightness, & saturation. The most thorough online colour acutiy test I've used is this one.
Edit: Forgot the http:// prefix for the link. E2: test url to the one in my bookmarks, not from google
I just thought that my eyes fucked up because the colors looked different. Then I realized I have f.lux on, and then disabled it, and now i'm actually blind. Thanks /u/TheVeryMask!
camh- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:19:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That hue-test gave me pause when it told me my score was zero. The explanation then went on to say that zero is the best score. I thought I misunderstood the test at first.
I didn't really have this problem though, I think doing it on my phone screen made it harder so maybe I do deserve my 0?
I also wonder how likely tetrachromacy really is.
6 is excellent. Be aware that the arrangement matters, so an error of 6 in a single clump can indicate narrow damage, while 2-3 islands that add up to 6 is a better score.
The most valuable thing to me about it was introducing language that captures saturation and brightness with a learnable formula. f.x I like strong and deep colours more than dark and moderate ones. The total variations it lists get smaller as you go up is degree, so primary colours have more kinds that 5th degree colours. If you need a complete list, click through a tile of the correct hue.
Akeche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of advertising related work, it'll be nice just for when a client doesn't say anything other than "Make it more blue."
That's the one in my laptop's bookmarks, the one I'd put up previously was just what google gave me so at a glance I'd assumed they had changed it.
withbob ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a kindergarten test and basically was like, "fuck this, there are kids here. I am going to talk to them" and just fucked around and talked to other kids so they thought I was retarded. 2 Weeks into retard kindergarten, they realized that I shouldn't be there.
ZZgold ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:17:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids have much sharper senses that tend to fade over time.
When I was about 3 yo I had a leg injury and I was weeping and crying, of course, so the doctor tried to distract me from my pain. He showed me a cotton pad with iodine disinfectant and asked "Hey, what color is this?" It was kinda dark brownish-reddish-voiletish, I knew only basic colors then and I got really frustrated and cried even more: "I don't knoooooow!" The doctor was confused and said "but it's black.. isn't it?"
This was the worst, since most dark cool colors (hell even red) blend into purple for me. Navy? Fuck that noise it's a damn shade of purple. I was convinced there was a conspiracy against me until my optometrist told me I was just a bit color deficient.
I just told a similar story in a speech I made at my brother's wedding. When my brother was getting tested for kindergarten they pointed to the color white and asked what color it was. He wouldn't answer. It was a little bit off white, not "pure" white so he didn't want to say white. The tester kept trying to help him.. "come on you know this! It's like my teeth what color are my teeth?" And my brother answered "yellow"
He also once wouldn't "sit on the red mat" because it was burgundy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's right, Dougal. You see, ordinary shops sell what look like black socks, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
This could have been because the printer or colour profile was wrong, or the image they used was compressed. Often it's worth checking an image before you print it and it's why CMYK and RGB are important to consider before you print something :)
Or it could have been the colour profile that your screen was using. Again, most people don't realise that almost every screen they use will represent colour differently unless they have been calibrated and use the same profile. Working in art has certainly taught me an awful lot in this regard!
The joys of digital to analogue and analogue to digital is always fun to experience.
Siphyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: Colors can get so dark that they are black yet still that color.
Dason37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter argues with my wife and I about obvious colored things being another "close" color. I think she did it once in earnest and now does it to wind us up, but I guess she could be seeing things actually differently. I mean if you see purple, it's purple, regardless of what the next guy sees.
My mom works at the zoo, so when I took one of these test they asked me to "name the animals" so I said "there's George, and Bob, and..." They told my mom I needed help, until she explained those are the animal's names.
That reminds me of a time I read the book "Go, Dog, Go" to my 2 year old. I said "A black dog. A white dog." Then, the book says "A black and white dog." So pointing at a dog with spots, I asked "And what kind of dog is this one?" She responded, "It looks like a dalmation."
Apparently when I was that age I saw a parrot for the first time and remarked "beautiful... flower?" and everyone was going nuts that I knew the word beautiful except the old guy with the parrot who was just like, na, its a bird.
Photog77 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:36:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first year in college, my accounting professor used the bricks in the wall behind him as an example of things that were completely identical and interchangeable.
I just couldn't understand because I had worked in a brick factory the summer before college and all the bricks were different to me. I could tell you more or less how the bricks were stacked in the kiln by looking at them. On top of that my Dad is a bricklayer, so all in all, I know more than I'd like to about bricks.
A story that's told about me: I had an eye test when I was very young (I was too young to remember). The doctor asked me to read the bottom line of the chart, letters along the lines of EKYINMWRX or something. I said something like "Ekyinmmwurks?". He said, "What?!". I cried and said, "I don't know that word yet!".
He used to be a controller but he moved over to tech ops because he didn't like the people he was working with. He maintains and repairs navigational equipment so it puts him on mountain sites and out of the office a lot more which makes him very happy.
A boy I babysat got placed in a remedial kindergarten due to this:
Hello was supposed to identify what a drawing of a man's figure was missing. The figure only had one leg.
The boy said "a bellybutton" which is true but the reason he didn't say leg was that he volunteered in veteran hospitals with his mom and seeing a man with one leg did not strike him as unusual.
I had an issue like this. We'd been stationed in the UK when I learned money, for context.
Upon getting back to the US, I had no fucking idea what quarters or dimes or nickels were, or how much they were worth. I knew what a five pence coin was, or fifty pence, or one pound.
The school apparently nearly put me in special ed. over that, until mom brought in a small bag of UK pounds sterling and demonstrated that the issue wasn't some kind of mental deficiency (wtf), it was being unfamiliar with the currency.
I did the same when I was about 1.5 or 2, except I was looking at a picture of a dog. I looked, and looked, and the doctor was apparently looking at my mom like, "She doesn't know what a dog is?"
Finally I answered: "Collie."
My favorite book at the time was a book of dog breeds.
Friend had a similar situation in second or third grade. Assigned homework was to find out how magnets worked. Really all they were looking for was "opposite charges attract", but they freaked out and figured that was too simple and got their much older brothers to help. They went to school with an answer involving a lot more electrons than the teacher expected.
Probably some fucking cartoon plane that isn't fucking proportioned right and couldn't fucking fly and gives kids unrealistic expectations about what an airplane's body looks like
My dad was an airplane mechanic in the Air Force. Planes would fly overhead and he would name them without looking. One day I looked at my mom and said, "How would we know if he was wrong?"
Was driving the other day with a friend. Plane flew low over the car on final, I had to pay attention to the road and couldn't see it. Could hear the RB211s though, knew it was a 757. My friend said "bullshit", then looked, and got a gorgeous view of a FedEx 757 on final.
F-22s can be identified at low-ish altitude based off of the afterburner whine as well.
I can't quite do all of em though by sound. I'm impressed.
I mean, bitch, please! 13 years in the Western flight path in Southaven. Spare me. I can ascertain a 757 from anywhere. (sucking teeth, plainly not impressed)
And seriously. The 757 is super easy to identify by sound. The real trick is ascertaining the other planes coming through by ear, Savannah gets a weird mix between Gulfstream and the Air Force always changing what birds come in. Had one day watching where the sequence was C-130, G280, pair of F-5s, CRJ900, G650, G600, F-18s, A320, another C-130, F22.
Even if a kid is technically old enough for school, they might not be developmentally ready for a classroom situation. So the kindergarten teacher will do a kind of assessment of the kid's communication skills, see if they recognize numbers, letters, words, shapes, etc., find out if they can read yet, and observe fine motor skills (necessary for learning to write). They probably look for other things too, I'm not a teacher and just going off what I remember and from other people's stories.
voi26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adorable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a test to "qualify" for Kindergarten as well (public school), and I guess I took things quite literally when asked questions. For instance, Teacher: "Can you say your ABCs?"
5 yo me: "ABC"
It went like that for the whole test until they realized they had to specify the questions for me. To this day, I insist on specification in nearly everything.
In a mental health evaluation I once took, a true/false statement I needed to respond to was, "I flew across the Atlantic 50 times last year." That and a couple other questions were there to make sure the person taking it isn't a) not taking the test seriously or b) delusional. I didn't know that until after, of course, and when I asked about those questions, the psychologist said that she gets a message (the test was on a computer) when someone answers a nonsense question the way they aren't supposed to. One time she saw that someone said the had flown across the Atlantic 50 times last year. The person was a flight attendant on international flights, so they really were answering honestly.
sidc9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to take a similar test when I was little. I was shown a picture of a helicopter, something I had never seen before. However, I ended up saying "fan plane!" Not, technically wrong. :D
Not as interesting. But when I took my test to get my permit the question was "in which lane must you be in to make a left hand turn?" A:left B:center C: right. Well I figured left was referring to the on coming traffic lane, which in America is the far left. So I chose center.
erfling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yaosio ยท 1481 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little yaosio I had a similar test done. I was asked to spell "eye" so I spelled "I".
EricKei ยท 2065 points ยท Posted at 03:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time a teacher told me to "look it up in the dictionary" when I asked her how to spell "entree" (I had heard the word, but I had never seen it -- this was 3rd or 4th grade). I eventually gave up, as she refused to so much as hint that the word might not start with the letter O...
bh2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, thanks. :-)
1.
used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified.
"a room with two beds in it"
referring to an animal or child of unspecified sex.
"she was holding the baby, cradling it and smiling into its face"
referring to a fact or situation previously mentioned, known, or happening.
"stop it, you're hurting me"
2.
used to identify a person.
"it's me"
3.
used in the normal subject position in statements about time, distance, or weather.
"it's half past five"
4.
used in the normal subject or object position when a more specific subject or object is given later in the sentence.
"it is impossible to assess the problem"
5.
used to emphasize a following part of a sentence.
"it is the child who is the victim"
6.
the situation or circumstances; things in general.
"no one can stay hereโit's too dangerous now"
7.
exactly what is needed or desired.
"they thought they were it"
8.
informal
sex appeal.
"he's still got โit.โ"
sexual intercourse.
9.
informal
denoting a person or thing that is exceptionally fashionable, popular, or successful at a particular time.
"they were Hollywood's It couple"
10.
(in children's games) the player who has to catch the others
Chinese dictionaries work basically the same way, because they are sorted the the radicals (pieces) of the characters. However, if you know what a word sounds like and have never seen it written I do believe you are screwed. Asking someone to write it for you would probably require using it in a sentence. You could possibly type it on a computer and figure out which character was right.
mfb- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go through all words, check their pronunciation, see if one of them matches the word you are looking for. Easy.
it
/it/
pronoun
used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified.
"a room with two beds in it"
2.
used to identify a person.
"it's me"
An English teacher of mine once said to us "if I ever tell you to go look a word up in a dictionary and you can't spell it, remind me that you can't spell it so how will you find it"....a few months later I asked her how to spell something and she said "look it up in the dictionary". I then said exactly what she told us to; "Miss you told us to remind you; if I can't spell it how could I find it in the dictionary"....and that's how I got kicked out of class for half an hour for being a smart arse....stupid bitch.
I read a lot as a child and teenager, and often would read words either not commonly used, or were not spelled how they actually sound. I'm 25 now, and am still being corrected on my pernunciation of certain words, such as "pseudonym" which was the most recent correction.
Edit: I guess I learned how to spell "pronunciation" today.
Aniquin ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:56:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!! Someone else like me! I'm about the same age and had the same experience. A friend of mine still calls me out for mispronouncing the word "cholera" years ago...I had only seen it in print, not heard it aloud, and I pronounced it "kuh-LAIR-uh". :/
This is me, I'll be 28 this June and my husband still occasionally corrects me when I mispronounce something (as I'd like him to so I don't make a fool of myself, lol).
yaosio ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood how you're supposed to find words you don't know how to spell them, yet educators insist that you use the dictonary to find words you can't spell. Today you can just say it into any computer and you'll get the correct spelling
That's exactly how my university 3rd year coding project started, the Professors 8yo son could not spell 'who', he spelt it 'hoo' and couldn't find it in the dictionary.
So we wrote a phonemic spell-checker, got A's for it. It was a great project, but the pain was when I had to spell-check the document with over 2000 spelling errors and their pattern matches in it.
This was the conversation I had in third grade with my teacher, a former nun. Knowing that 'stomach' started with an 'St' wasn't enough to help me find the word in the OED. There just wasn't enough time in English class. So I changed it to 'belly'. She tried to give me detention for that one. I wasn't trying to be a smartass, I was just trying to hand in the essay before lunch like we were supposed to!
I once had a teacher who tried to convince me that the phrase "no one" was in fact a single word, "noone." I vehemently disagreed with her, since she'd taken points off of my essay for my "error," and I knew I was right (my mom has a Master's in English and had been teaching me to proofread since the day I was born). I had to find a thesaurus and look up antonyms of "someone" to find written proof that "noone" is not, in fact, a word.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a dictionary that had words misspelled and then spelled correctly so that you could look up a word in it to find the correct spelling if you didn't know how to spell it.
What you want is a phonetic dictionary. They exist. I know because I had problems spelling when I was in primary school and had to use one every now and then.
Oh bummer, we forgot to build an index on definition. Just select the spelling from the dictionary where the definition matches what you're thinking.
sadi89 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dyslexic and struggle with spelling as a result. The number of times teachers told me to "look it up in the dictionary" it's like...bitch I can barely read and I have a very poor grasp on letter sound connection...this isn't going to work.
My 5th grade teacher always said this, and one time I spent the entire amount of time we had to write trying to figure out how to spell "ancient". I ended up giving up but failing the assignment because all I had was "I walked up the achent wooden stairs"
I mean, ultimately the lesson in time management/prioritizing is probably more important than whatever historical facts you were supposed to be tested on. Ideally your teacher would explain this before you start the test though.
I'm a horrific speller and that kind of shit is so irritating. I still misspell things so badly that sometimes even google can't guess what I'm trying to say so I have to add context clues.
I am 100% sure that teacher didn't know how to spell it either.
mttomb2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact same experience in 5th grade with the word "eulogy." The teacher just kept telling me to look it up in the dictionary. Lady, I've looked through the entire U and Y sections! I'm not going to find it! You'd think she'd at least give me a hint that it stated with an E.
I never thought about it, but my 5th grade teacher was pretty awesome because he told us right off the bat to ask about words we didn't understand and warned us about trying to find unknown words in the dictionary, recounting his experiences with "lip sync". Ten year old me loved him.
Glad you didn't win that contest to go on the Challenger, Mr. Heathcliff...
This would only be acceptable if you had already been taught the following:
A) the "o" sound can be spelled with "e" at the start of words when they start with an "on" sound, as in "entree" or "entendre" (good opportunity to teach students about French loan words here) (probably not appropriate to teach primary school students the word entendre)
B) when looking up a word in the dictionary that you don't know how to spell, consider other ways to spell the first sound. Usually we spell the "o" sound with an "o", but it can also be spelled other ways like in "was" or "entree".
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye. To be fair, this is how I found out about part A. I asked my parental units once I got home.
I had the problem with different pronunciations of "the" as in "thuh" and "thee". Teacher thought I was taking the piss when I asked how "thee" was spelt and got cross with me.
Draegur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's served on a tray
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ba dum bum tssh :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the most amazing dyslexic dictionary that would also have phonetic spellings it was also broke down into syllables so phone would be listed under F too.
In 5th grade I couldn't spell Koala. I couldn't look it up because I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT. My teacher looks at me like I'm a moron and says, "How do you THINK you spell it?!" I said K...W...(kwala?) And my teacher made fun of me in front of the whole class.
My mother ALWAYS sent me to the dictionary. But she always gave me the first letter. We also had a phonetic dictionary that I would reference. Provided the educator is not a fuckwit it's a really good method. I can't tell you how many words I learn just in my quest for one word.
When I was in the first grade, I asked my teacher how to spell "why".
She only looked at me in confusion and said "It's just a letter, how do you not know how to spell it?". And for the rest of the year that's how I wrote the word "why"
Cam455 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a chance that she didn't want to admit that she also didn't know how to spell it.
Sa_Rart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
day25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because you didn't follow her instructions. You were supposed to look up the word "it". Entree was most likely used in the description as part of the example sentence "I just ordered an entree and it was very expensive."
EricKei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was 3rd or 4th grade
That's how. I heard it as "on tray" at the time. The difference between that and an inflected sound closer to "ahn tray" didn't occur to me then, as I'd never seen French written out, and my only exposure to related terms had been to the occasional Cajun French curse word (all of which I've long since forgotten) ;)
Goddamn thats a twisted way of saying the word. But yeah that explains a lot. I personally grew up with German, French and English influences alongside the dutch language. So I've never had a problem with pronunciations or spelling words.
In college I went on a school trip to France with my professor's family. Their 7-year-old had the best franglais from growing up bilingual and still figuring it all out. We were at a restaurant once and had a few menu options, so the kid, speaking in English because of our terrible French, asked us, "Which enter are you getting?"
Reminds me of a time I was in elementary school. Had some paper to write, and was working on it in the morning during breakfast. Suddenly had a brain-fart, and couldn't remember how to spell "of". I kept thinking it was "uv" but that never looked right. I asked my mom, and she thought I was just stalling and got angry with me for wasting time.
When I was in the 3rd grade I used the word "aint" in a conversation with my teacher. She responded "aint aint a word because it aint in the dictionary." My smart ass grabbed a dictionary and showed her that the word "aint" actually WAS in the dictionary. Shut her up quickly.
Ishuzu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sort of thing happened to me so many times as a child, made me so frustrated... I was so glad when google happened.
ais523 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At school they gave us spelling dictionaries specifically to deal with this sort of problem. (They were similar to normal dictionaries, but without definitions, and sorted by pronunciation, rather than spelling; it was divided into sections based on the first strong vowel in the word.)
Thankfully nowadays the dictionary is google and ontray (or whatever) works as a lookup.
avLugia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg... I had no idea how to spell entree for tbe longest time. I always hear it in those Red Lobster comercials and used it pretty often for some reason. Some spellings I had: Alantre, Antre, Olontre, Ontre. Never occured to me that it might have started with a e.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe because it doesn't start with an O? You don't need to know how to spell it if you want to look it up.
And how do you find a word in the dictionary if you don't know its spelling, especially the first letter?
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that my entire point was that I did not know this at the time (due to age and inexperience -- it wasn't exactly on the vocabulary list), and the teacher refused to clarify it...right? That, and, in this case, yes I did need to know at least know the first letter in order to find it.
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a one on one oral test. The guy giving me the test thought I was repeating him and asked the question again. I knew the hell out of my slightly different shapes though.
This makes me happy, and it makes me think of my kindergarten entrance test... My future teacher had me count to 100, then do it again by 10s. After I did those (I'm sure with some prompting) she asked if I could count to 100 any other way. I'm sure she wanted to know if I could count by 2s or 5s or something along the lines of actually counting, but I, in my absolute 6 year old genius said, "one, two, skip a few, nighty-nine, a hundred"
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We learned how to count to 100 in kindergarten! You kids today are learning stuff so fast.
When I was in second grade, I was struggling to write something down on my "daily report", until I heard Kenneth shouting at Anne, the teacher's aide, as he was put in time-out: "you're a fing b*!"
I didn't know what those words meant, but I did know it sounded like an insult, so I wrote, "Anne is not a fing b*." Minutes later, the teacher came by to see if our daily reports were okay to send home to our parents. She told me I had to rewrite mine. "Okay, but is it spelled right?" I asked.
She re-read it, and said both words were, indeed, spelled correctly. I was very pleased with myself as I erased it and wrote something else I had learned that day.
bluesox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, buddy. You can say "fucking bitch" on Reddit without getting banned or censored. Besides, all those asterisks totally fucked up your comment. Search for "Reddit markdown" to learn how it works.
When I was little we sometimes had ice cream with chocolate sauce at home. I asked my dad to put an 'I' on it (as the first letter of my name). Instead he drew an eye.
They have a really cool display at the Exploratorium in San Francisco. Looks like neon but is probably LED's. Depending on how you look at it it is either an "I" an "eye" or a picture of an eye.
When I was in first grade, I missed the very first question on my first spelling test. My teacher said what sounded to me as "uh" so I wrote a single letter u (I hadn't learned about putting the h after it at this point.) Turns out what she was looking for was "a."
Invisioning asmall Yaosio. Almost as terrifying as the actual Yaosio.
yaosio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was even more terrifying as a little Yaosio because I was much faster and sleeker. Also I didn't know how to control my uncontrollable anger. In school this led to me crying when I was frustrated and lying about why I was crying so nobody knew I was frustrated, and at home I'd scream and knock my parents around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing. If you address mail to "Eye St., NW" in Washington, DC they will deliver it to the appropriate address on I St., NW. I assume this works in all quadrants, I just used NW as an example. I believe some people do this in order to avoid any potential confusion with 1st St. I don't know if this works in other cities; but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. I wonder what happens if your city has an Eye St., an I St., and a 1st St.
I'd like to think that it went on the Monty Python style of things.
Test Admin: Spell eye
Yaosio: I
Test Admin: No eye
Yaosio: I
Test Admin: Yes eye
Yaosio: I
Test Admin: No, spell eye.
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I looked at your username, I was trying to figure out ehat language yaosio meant child and it took me a long time to remember that I wouldn't have a clue in the first place.
My first day of kindergarten I was daydreaming and not listening to what the teacher was saying. Suddenly she starts calling out letters for us to spell something. I dutifully started writing them down but I had no idea why we were doing this.
I heard "Wand: O-N-E. Too: T-W-O."
Oh, I thought, we're just learning to spell random words. Okay, cool.
"Three: T-H-R-E-E. For: F-O-U-R."
It wasn't until we got to five or six that I realized what the pattern was.
it's probably not a coincidence there was a plant on the television. They probably wanted to test her awareness of the "on" in a given context, and she was supposed to think that even though there is a plant on top of the tv, her awareness of the general use of the phrase "on television" should have made her say the cartoon is on television instead of plant. The administrator probs didn't understand the test if the interaction went like that, though.
SunTzu- ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:35:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct, the question is obviously intended to test language aptitude. Language aptitude tests aren't the best for intelligence testing though, which is why they've mostly been retired, as they indicate more about socialization than innate intelligence.
Hade34 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:48:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had a hearing test that kept saying "find the firetruck" (or other object) and the doctor said he was deaf because he wasn't pointing at the firetruck he was just literally finding it by looking at it.
Took my friend's daughter for her hearing test and the person conductingโthe test was getting concerned because the girl wasn't picking out the first object, a cow. After a few minutes, I changed the picture of the cow from a black and white one to a brown one. Had to explain that the cows in the field behind her house were brown.
bluesox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:50:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? How does changing a picture affect a hearing test?
Edit: Nevermind. I get it now. She had to point to a picture of a cow when she heard it.
When I was really young, by mother became convinced that I was color blind. I was just a bit behind learning my colors. We were on the way to the doctor when she realized what was going on.
I wasn't color blind, I was crappy at naming colors. She kept quizzing me, asking, "what color is that car?" and such on the way to see the doc. I finally started to get it.
Krankite ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a flawed question here in Australia. The c question is simple enough "what colour is grass?" the problem is kids growing up in outback Australia during a drought that have never seen rain.
dadtaxi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My twin girls, when they were quite young, had a pre-school's grading test and were asked "does the sun shine at night". Being fairly intelligent they both answered "yes". They then both came home in tears for being told off when they argued after the teacher said they had both got the answer wrong.
Some words were had at the subsequent parent-teacher meeting.
Many more , much louder words were had when I was informed "Well yes, technically they're correct, but that's the answer in the book and they're not expected at this level to know the real answer, only the 'right' answer"
Had something similar happen in my own childhood apparently. I don't remember it but it's a story my mother tells often since the in-training administrator was convinced my actions were the signs of a student with a learning disability.
The basic test was to follow a pattern step-by-step using blocks of various colors until the final structure was completed and somehow the prospective student's future of "mentally behind, average, or advanced" was determined by that evaluation. It was a long process with many steps and apparently Ms. Trainee hadn't bothered to read the full program before starting the test with me. Because apparently by a couple steps in, I was insisting on jumping to the final step with the remaining parts. She was getting flustered which in turn made me uncooperative since this dumb lady was busy telling me I was wrong even though I knew I wasn't. So naturally her response was that I was developmentally behind...which my mom had to disagree with since I was already doing the basic operations of math and other things well beyond my age. The senior administrator had to step in and point out to the Trainee that I was trying to get to the final result because I'd already figured out what it was and going step-by-step was extremely slow and boring.
My mom, who grew up in a very Mormon household, was given a similar test, and as part of the test was given kitchen items to play with and was observed. Well she was putting things away, and got to the coffee pot, and stuck it in the fridge. The observer declared "wow, so smart! It's hot out and she's making iced coffee!" My grandma didn't have the heart to tell her that my mother had never seen a coffee pot before, so probably just stuck it there just because she didn't know anywhere else to put it.
when i was a kid they tested my eyes since i had lazy eyes before and needed to check if it made me see double, so they had a picture of a lion and one picture with a cage and they would ask me if the lion was sleeping in the cage and i was like: no its not sleeping in the cage. then the doctor adjusted something and asked again, my answere was the same, so after like 7 rounds of that my mom is getting kinda nervous and ask the doctor if something is wrong, and the doctor is like: yes according to these results he is only using one eye to see, hence why he cant see the lion in the cage. at which point i interrupt him: well the lion was always in the cage but he was always standing and not sleeping
I had something similar! Only it was a statue. When the administrator said I got it wrong, I asked "how" and they said it was an ad. So I shot back with "then it should have asked 'what was showing on tv?'".
He asked "you take questions and statements, literally, don't you?" I mean come on... be more clear
The goal of those tests is to check your ability to understand context, the thing sitting on top of the TV is there intentionally to be a wrong answer. There are several questions on these kind of tests to see if you take things literally like that, and if you do, it can be a sign of a lack of social development.
That doesn't mean this is a good question on the test - its really a test of how your parents talk about the television, which is stupid - but that is the intention.
I remember doing very poorly on these tests, because my friend and I had a game of asking each other trick questions where the easy answer is wrong, and that test is basically a series of questions that seem like trick questions but aren't.
But honestly given only the context of "what is on television" both answers would be correct. If /u/CasuConsuIto was told they were wrong after the first guess then there was really no way to know which answer they wanted.
Similar thing: in grade school I once got a math problem about counting legs wrong because I thought dragons had 2 legs. I was wrong though, this 100% fictional being that was never pictured anywhere in the book obviously has 4 legs.
Heh when I was about 6 I think I went to a new school and they asked me to spell stuff on my first day - I guess it was an assessment. Spell "A" and spell "on" etc. They got to "in". They asked me to spell "in" and I asked which one. I don't remember it much, my mum tells me the story, but apparently I got into a heated "argument" that there were two "ins" - one for the "in" we use every day and one with two ns. Inn. as in ... Inn.
Teacher (Mrs Perkins IIRC) didn't like that I was "confusing" the other children.
She never did specify which "in/inn" she wanted spelling. I have a suspicion it was the first one.
We have a family story about a cousin who had a similar sort of test. Thoroughly bored, the then young lad wasnt being very cooperative. So when then the tester asked him what an object was for the 50th time with no response she exasperatedly says, 'biscuit!' And turns the page.
He responds by turning the page back and possibly even more exasperatedly retorts, 'bourbon cream!'
My son had some testing done recently. Verbal comprehension in the WISC V is essentially giving them two words as the kid has to say how they are alike. For example an apple and an orange are both fruit. The psychologist asks my kid to compare "A pound and a yard" to which my kid replies that they are both places you keep a dog. He wasn't wrong! But that wasn't the answer on the key. They kept going of course and she marked him right. He ended up in the 99.9th percentile on that section, essentially a perfect score. What is funny is that his dad was administered the WISC at around the same age and gave the same exact answer to the pound/yard question. He died when my son was 3 so it isn't like my kid knew about it. I didn't know until my mother in law saw my son's test results.
Another similar story, at the end of pre-K we had to take a test to determine if we were ready to start kindergarten. During the test, I was told to write out the numbers 1 to 10. I wrote 1, 2, 10. My mom is still mad I was counted wrong for that one.
I love developmental psychology. Such bullshit. According to my mother:
I was once taken to a child psychologist to test my ability to pay attention to things. The experiment started with the tester bouncing a ball on the floor. Naturally, child me paid attention to this ball. Then, the ball was hidden and a noise played on the other side of the room. The children were supposed to pay attention to the noise. Not me though. I was fascinated to see where this ball had gone. As such, there was a period of about half an hour where everyone though I was deaf. Turns out I wasn't deaf, I just had a more developed sense of object permanence than I was supposed to and still remembered the ball existed when it was taken away and wanted to know where it had gone more than I wanted to pay attention to the noise.
Its not bullshit when done by even half-competent testers. They don't do the one ball test and then declare you are deaf or stupid. They do a ton of tests, expecting that individual children will react in different ways to a lot of things, and only grow particularly concerned if you fail multiple tests in the same way. Then they talk to you and try to figure it out.
Memories aren't exact, old ones get filled in by time, biases, experiences, and storytelling. Minutes can become hours, concern can become panic, small comments made by one person become whole room of people. More likely, your mom saw the test/was told about the test, thought you might be deaf or someone said they would double check to see if you were deaf, then they concluded you just thought the ball was interesting and moved on. The psychologist checked in the box that you didn't respond as expected, and that it might bear looking in to if it was a pattern, then they did a bunch more tests and probably concluded it was no big deal and you were within the norm.
Yeah, true, I'm well aware of the flaws of memory and that's why I don't trust anecdotes, I just think this is an amusing and harmless story so I don't mind telling it. And this isn't my entire basis for "dev psyc is bullshit" btw. Most of my opinions on Dev Psyc are from having studied it and having decided it's bullshit after writing a long essay on part of it.
In preschool. I was eating goldfish crackers and offered some to my friend. She asked her dad (it was like a snack period where we waited for our parents to pick us up) if she could have some and the following ensued:
Friend: dad can I have goldfish crackers?
Dad: hmm. I don't know. (To me) what's in them?
Me: (bites one in half and shows him) nothing!
Dad: no I mean what's in them?
Me, confused: They're empty...
Dad: no, like what are they made out of?
Me: ohhhhhh you mean the ingredients!
Phylar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently she just kept insisting in utter frustration until the administrator bothered to look at the image and not the answer sheet.
Hard to blame the administrator. These tests are often designed with specific, high probablity answers in mind. However, as you found out, some answers will be accepted so long as they fall within certain guidelines.
Or at least I hope there was a plant and the answer was a go.
I had one of those after encephalitis, was 10 at the time and had planned for multiple tests, but during the first day they showed me picture of shopping mall, and some of the products had missing labels. I noticed it instantly, but then I noticed something else which was cleaning products with food products at same aisle. The doctor just said to my mom after the session that there is no need for other ones.
SunTzu- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, his fiance answered wrong. The plant was "on top of" the television, not "on" the television. The question was supposed to test linguistic aptitude and the answer failed to make the distinction. This is compounded by a poor test-giver who failed to comprehend what the test was measuring and decided to overrule the test.
Think of it this way. Why would you ever ask that question on an intelligence test if there wasn't a plant in the picture as a red herring?
Both readings of "on the television" are equally valid. There are ways to test the distinction without declaring one to be right and one wrong, which they aren't.
That's the test's problem, though. Can you think of any other reason to ask "What's on the TV," instead of just showing whatever picture was on the TV and asking "What is this a picture of," except to see which interpretation of "on" the child assumes from the context?
It may not have been intended as a right/wrong question originally, but apparently the answer key had it marked that way.
Rose94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a stranger one, when I was little I had a psych test to see if I could skip the first year of school. I was also extremely into disney movies as a child (still am, that never went away).
Some of the questions were about what some basic objects were for. One of which was an umbrella.
I was apparently insistent that an umbrella was used to fly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum has a similar one from when she sat the 11+. One question was:
Which of these is the odd one out?
A car
A TV
A Radio
A dog
If you answered "dog", you're wrong. The answer is a radio, because it's the only one you don't need a licence for.
My mum's nearly 60 now and that still bothers her.
But some places you don't need a license for a dog, and some radios you do need a license for...
I would pick 'dog' too because it is the more obvious odd item out. It's a living creature, the rest are inanimate objects. Also I wouldn't expect an 11 year old to know you need a license for a dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and if we really want to get into it, you don't need a licence to own a car, only to drive one.
It was a stupid question to decide 11 year olds' futures off.
There was a similar one on the same test about the longest day of the year. IIRC you were supposed to put the Summer solstice, because that's when you see the most hours of daylight. My mum put the day the clocks go back, because there's 25 hours in that day.
As a result of all those "Children are smarter than adults" tests where the "right" answer to that question WOULD be "a plant", I'm no longer sure in questions like this what answer is desired. T_T
Reminds me of standardized testing. In Texas we had to take the TAAS test. And it's bullshit and all the teacher practice on it like it's the most important thing on earth. So like a couple weeks before the test they start doing practice tests.
I got two questions from different teachers that STILL piss me off a good 20 years later.
First one showed: a turtle, a fish, a monkey, and a dinosaur. Question, which is unlike the others? My answer: Monkey. It's the only warm blooded creature. Right answer? Dinosaur, it's extinct. Forget that the other creatures all lack hair, internal temperature regulation and lack both live birth and nursing.
Other question: shows a bicycle,a car, a truck, and a snowmobile. Q: which is different? My answer? Bicycle; it lacks an engine. "correct" answer? Snowmobile, no wheels.
Sorry. But my answers aren't wrong. The questions are just stupid.
Back in elementary school we were asked to draw our homes. Everyone drew a picture of the front of their house, except me. I drew a top down floor plan for some reason. My teacher looked at it and said that's the first time someone had done that, but it wasn't wrong.
Never in my short sweet life had I even seen a peach before. We were to label the drawings to test our spelling in first grade and I was confused and shocked to see a drawing of a butt complete with butt crack.
Here's an actual intelligence question I once had to answer.
Which is the odd one out?: A. knife B. lead pipe C. shard of glass d. scissors
You would think lead pipe, because the others are sharp, right? Nope, the answer was shard of glass because the other three are made of metal. For fuck's sake!
My brother was part of a series of early childhood development studies at the nearby major research university. One study was on object permanence, They had some black bars or a tv screen, and had characters and objects go behind it. In the course of this study, my brother got up, crossed the room and removed the bars from the screen to figure out where they went.
The facilitators were stunned and told my mum that they had never had a child do that before.
My mom was a mural artist. They tested me on colors. "Is this blue, green, orange, or yellow?" Type questions. I said none of the above. It was clearly blue. They call up my mom, to ask why I don't know my colors. She is like "no really, he knows his colors, ask him what color each one is instead of making him choose. Because instead of saying "not there" instead of blue and red and green, I was like "that's cobalt, scarlet, and chartreuse."
Wow, harsh school. Back at my school if you showed up late, most teachers let you off if you had some genuinely amusing excuse. As long as it wasn't more than like, 15 minutes late anyway.
Rambley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Shit, I fucked it up."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:03:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who is chronically late, I love this quote. I was actually planning on sharing the quote until I realized in order to do that I would have to type out and share "quote" -SHLONGKONG
that just seems like an excuse. While some people may be like that, they are in the extreme minority. And this is coming from someone who is 5-10 minutes late to class often. (I should just come to class on the hour instead of planning on coming when the lecture starts at 5 past).
It sounds like you're only late because you can't be bothered being on time and you've got some typical mind fallacy stuff going on. People are different, just because you're only late when you're not trying doesn't mean that's true for others.
No I'm late because I obviously don't put enough importance in those lectures or whatever, quite straightforward.
I'm not saying everyone is like me, but rather most people are. When someone comes late it's generally their carelessness although there are exceptions.
Yeah, a while after submitting it, I was hoping people would get it was a "call the burn ward/wrecked" type of comment and not some creepy comment directed at a female user
But doesn't 'why' imply intent? That's how I've always interpreted it but many people seem use it more liberally than that. Here the question assumes the person was late on purpose. /u/KontraKode
Here the question assumes the person was late on purpose.
Interesting... I didn't see that at all. I would interpret the question as "please provide an explanation of why you are late" which would be a causal chain; perhaps there were certain circumstances beyond the person's control or perhaps not. The question does seem to be attempting to determine whether or not the person is to blame.
I know people use language in different ways and this could come across as arrogant blah blah blah but imo the person should have asked "What made you late?" In the same way, you should ask "What makes the sky blue?" rather than why? How is also useful.
Asking why (as in, for an intent of an action or a purpose of a feature) is a powerful question and I feel that people undermine the word by using it this way.
I never understood why teachers make such a big deal about tardiness. They're reaction to the latenessโ always seemed to be more of a disruption than the lateness itself.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:56:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you never understood why you're English teacher made such a big deal out of the difference between their, there and they're either?
Salim_ ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 05:26:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*your
woahthat ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope they were setting you up for this joke
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you're think?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:40:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of it is pushing kids to adhere to a schedule, like they'll have to in the workplace. The consequences are minor in the grand scheme (might not seem so to the kids) but they reinforce the idea that you need to be on time to things you might not really care about.
Would you mind explaining the subtlety? To me, the student's answer seems to be clearly and unambiguously incorrect. If the student arrived after the time at which the class was scheduled to start that day, they were late, regardless of when the bell went off relative to the time the student arrived, or if it went off at all.
Saying that the lateness was caused by the bell going off before the student arrived seems like the equivalent of saying that lightning produces light because it also produces thunder. The two are clearly related, but one does not cause the other. Maybe I'm missing something, though.
EDIT: Thinking about this a bit more, I can see some subtlety. If we cut the bell ringing out of the equation, and instead imagine that the student had said something like:
"I can be understood to be 'late' because being 'late' in this context is arriving after the time the class was scheduled to start, and I arrived after that time"
, then it's less immediately clear whether that would be a "technically correct" answer to the question. Clearly, it could be a correct statement on it's own, but it's an intentional misinterpretation of the teacher's intended meaning of the question "why were you late?" (essentially answering a different question than the one that was asked), taking it to mean:
"how can you be understood to be 'late'?"
, rather than:
"what are the circumstances that resulted in you failing to arrive at the time the class was scheduled to start?".
So the question for us then becomes "can we consider a response to a question that treats that question as if it asks something other that what the asker meant to be 'technically correct'?" It's such an abstract question that I don't think whatever answer we decide on matters much, but it does make this a more subtle question than is immediately obvious.
peazey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's wrong. Arriving after the bell rang is not the reason he is late but rather a circumstance that proves that he is late. It would only be correct if the teacher had asked "give me some evidence that you are late"
peazey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I said. Reply to the wrong post?
Edit: Just read his edit. That makes "it's wrong" ambiguous. My bad. I meant it is clearly a wrong answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the question can (and should) be read as also asking why a social norm has been violated . . . I can think of at least two ways to interpret the student's answer arguably reasonably based on such grounds
So, by saying "the bell went off before I got here", the student might be saying that they waited until they knew the bell would go off to arrive because the experience to hearing the bell is uncomfortable for them, for example?
Thank you for your reply. I do have to say though, that I found it difficult to understand. I think that I've got a pretty good grip on it now, but I had to read it several times, and look up the word "pragmatics" (which made me realize that your earlier use of the words "pragmatic" and "pragmatically" meant something different than I had initially assumed, and made me wonder if there were any other words you were using in more specialized senses than I had assumed).
I think that the main issue is your use of jargon that I'm not fluent in (though I also found the sentence in the second paragraph beginning with "this opens it up for..." to be confusing). I understand that using jargon can allow you to be more exact, but in contexts in which you can't reasonably assume that the receiver of your message is fluent in the same jargon that you are, you might want to consider sacrificing some of that exactness to help ensure that the basic ideas you're communicating can be understood at all.
No problem! I struggle with a similar issue myself. I think that some of the things I write can be too long and/or convoluted to be easily readable. I sometimes find it hard to make what I write adequately short and straightforward without losing the meaning I want to convey.
In logical analysis his answer would be completely correct. Premise: if someone arrives after the bell goes off, he is late. Fact: I arrived after the bell went off. Conclusion: I am late, because I arrived after the bell went off. Or alternatively: if asked why I am late, the logical answer is "because the bell went off first."
You're answering the wrong question though. The question isn't the equivalent of "Why is the time you arrived at late", it's the equivalent of "What is the reason for your lateness".
The bell was never the reason he was late, it's only an indicator that he is late.
That's only one way to interpret the question. The question was not phrased "what is the reason you are late," but "why are you late," and in a logical analysis framework that is a completely correct answer to that question as phrased: you are late because you meet the predefined conditions to be considered late, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
DoxBox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:47:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Someone put your class too far away from my locker."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:21:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher; but I saw this meme once: teacher asks Hispanic student to turn in his essay. Student replies: No ma'am, I won't turn in my ese, cuz I ain't no snitch.
Once in High School my brother was late to AP English. When confronted his response was: "a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:50:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "you should have been here 5 mins ago!"
"why, what happened? "
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We're sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then."
That worked for me once. I felt like a smartass for saying it, but the teacher and classed kind of laughed and she let me slide.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've used this a lot of times, even after highschool. I got fired once cuz they asked me why I was "intoxicated" and didn't show up to work. And I just said "Well, I was wasted and didn't go. There's really nothing else to say" And they said "Why did you do it when you knew it would get you in trouble?" And I said "Idk! I did it, and it happened so...what else can I say" and they were like "But you KNEW that wasn't the right thing to do and I said "Yeah I know that, but I did it anyways" Their minds were blown like that I was telling the truth. I told them I'm expecting to get fired but they kept questioning me and I just told them straight up...I got drunk, I fucked up, and that's my story. Do what you will.
I don't get it. Why not just call in before your shift starts?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I didn't really care. Everyone has this thing like it's the end of the world if you get fired. Well I honestly hated that job and was happy because that meant I had the next day off and I could go on a hike
I wish I'd have thought to use that. I always seemed to get stuck behind this weird kid with a rolling backpack who would take his precious fucking time. Didn't even know his name, and he was unavoidable.
Don't know why but I'm bothered deeply by the phrase: The bell "went off" instead of.. the bell "rang".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't explain why he was late but how one might infer that he was late.
Edit: I have valid point. If the bell failed to ring, we wouldn't deny that he was late. Smart ass remarks deserve smart ass replies.
peazey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you are entirely right. The prompt specified "correct answers" and this quip, while amusing, is non-responsive rendering it incorrect. Nobody asked how we knew he was late.
He may as well have said "Nostradamus tea raccoons."
Than again, I think we're all just having a chuckle so, meh...
In logical analysis his answer would be completely correct. Premise: if someone arrives after the bell goes off, he is late.
Fact: I arrived after the bell went off.
Conclusion: I am late, because I arrived after the bell went off. Or alternatively: if asked why I am late, the logical answer is "because the bell went off first."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In logical analysis his answer would be completely correct. Premise: if someone arrives after the bell goes off, he is late. Fact: I arrived after the bell went off. Conclusion: I am late, because I arrived after the bell went off. Or alternatively: if asked why I am late, the logical answer is "because the bell went off first."
No.
The point of asking why the student was late is not to find proof that they were late but a causal explanation for them missing the start of class, such as absent mindedness or delinquency. This becomes clear when you consider that the question assumes that the student was late.
That is, the student is not being asked to demonstrate the truth of the teacher's assertion, but to recall the events leading up to missing the start of class.
I don't disagree with you on the teachers intention, but the teacher did not phrase the question as "what is the reason you are late" but simply "why are you late". From a logical analysis perspective you are in the state of being late because you meet the predefined conditions for that state, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but the teacher did not phrase the question as "what is the reason you are late" but simply "why are you late".
The question is ambiguous, but it is obvious what the teacher meant. Also, "What is the reason you are late?" could be interpreted exactly the same as "Why are you late?"
However, even if I accepted the premise that the teacher posed the question as if he was asking the student to provide a deductive proof of tardiness, the student would still be wrong.
Bells malfunction and can be set incorrectly. So, unless the school's actual policy is that the ringing of the bell, not the time of day, determines tardiness, the conclusion doesn't follow.
I agree with you on that last point, as noted in the premise. But I will note that in many schools that is how it is defined. In my high school, for example, there was a first warning bell that told you to get to class, followed by a second final bell. Teachers were instructed to close their classroom doors once the final bell stopped ringing and record everyone who arrived thereafter as late. The actual clock time did not govern, only the bell.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I has been a while since I've been in a school with period bells. Perhaps most of them have that policy.
But, as a final remark, the "why" in the teacher's question makes it obvious that he isn't looking for proof but explanation. I realize that I have made this point, but I want to reiterate how ridiculous it is to interpret the question that way.
If I went to the store at noon today, then I called in sick to work.
I went to the store at noon today.
So, I called in sick to work.
The above doesn't say why I called in sick, just like the student's answer didn't explain why he was late. I'm not saying that no one could conceivably phrase the question that way, looking for that response, but I am saying that those people do not know how to use words right.
K, I need to stop talking about this for my own sanity.
No, that's the logical answer to why are you considered late. Not to the reason to your being late, but the reason to why you are considered late.
The logical analysis of why they are late must lead back to why their reason for being late. Such as I got held behind in my last class, I got lost, I was too busy chatting to my mates, I was skipping the last class and I left the house 1 minute too late.
However, the question was not "what is the reason you are late," but "why are you late." From a logical analysis perspective you are in the state of being late because you meet the predefined conditions for that state, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
I never understood this. In high school, if you were late and especially if you come in when they are already teaching, they will actually stop and lecture you for being late. In college, no one really cares.
I'm guessing you said that to the English teacher.
nezumipi ยท 18773 points ยท Posted at 23:01:19 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College professor, teaching developmental psychology. At the end of the semester, I asked all the students to write down the most interesting or important thing they learned. One wrote,** "Babies are stupid and old people still have sex."**
People always act surprised when I say that kids are stupid, but they are dumb as fuck: I mean, it's not a shot at them, they just haven't had enough experience to not be dumb yet.
I find people get even more offended when I say that dogs are dumb, and say stuff like, "not my dog, he's really smart!" Sure he's smart, for a fucking dog. Again, it's not a fault, they're just dumb.
nezumipi ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 02:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During grad school, I had to give cognitive tests to babies and I had absolutely no patience for their lack of object permanence. I'd go, "Where's the ball?" and the kid would give me a dumb look even though I just put it in the cup two seconds ago.
Hell, if we're gonna go that far we might as well just say everyone's dumb. I'm dumb. Youre dumb. He's dumb. Stephen Hawking is a fucking vegetable and he's smarter than all of us, and even he's dumb.
This is brilliant. Intelligence is relative! Imagine how dumb we look to some super evolved sentient being that is to us as we are to dogs.
But idk. We've like collectively as a species put a man on the moon, and discovered the Big Bang... we've definitely got something going on up there in our head, and the objective evidence points to it being pretty impressive. The Dunning-Kruger effect though...
I'm just waiting for the day I die, and open my eyes in a simulation, only to realize that next level inception shit that I don't have the capacity to describe imaginatively right now.
My dog is very, very smart. But he's also a dog. Given opposable thumbs and the ability to speak, sometimes I think he'd take over the world.
But then, he hops onto to the couch with a toy or a ball or whatever and eventually just drops it to the floor. I've seen it happen intentionally and accidentally, but either way, he will, without fail, sit up, look down at the object on the floor, and start barking at it. Like he's angry that Ditka the bear didn't put up more of a fight to stay on the couch and now the dog is yelling at the toy to get back up there.
He's a super energetic dog, has no problem jumping up and down and over the furniture, but now that he's been on the couch for ten seconds, cannot be bothered to hop off and grab whatever he's dropped. So I say, "Franklin, let's be reasonable. You can go down and get it. It's right there. You could have already retrieved it and gotten back on the couch, but instead you've sat here howling for the past minute." And probably due entirely to my calm yet encouraging tone and not my appeal to reason, he will begrudgingly hop off and get his toy and go lie down somewhere he can't drop anything.
OR!
He indicates he wants to go outside, is let out, and comes back in with a treat I assumed was long-ago consumed. Nope, Franklin just buried it. Has he decided it's time to enjoy it? No. He runs around the entire condo until he tires himself out trying to find somewhere new to bury it, crying because there is nowhere inside to bury it.
So yes, dogs are silly. Would not do awesome on the LSAT for a variety of reasons.
sockowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:17 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend gets mad every time I point out our newborn is stupid. In my defense, a few days ago he peed all over himself... then started crying about it. Dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:28:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA in developmental psych. I had to hand out and collect those. One student wrote that he learned that 'being a kid sucks and childhood is hell'... Oky doky then...
When students start out, they have to first learn how much babies don't know before they can understand how fast babies are learning. For example, a lot of students think infant language acquisition is like second language acquisition. They don't realize that infants don't know where word boundaries are, for example. Or realizing that babies don't know where one object ends and another begins in visual perception. The student was being facetious, but I'm pretty sure s/he was referencing all of those things that it's hard to imagine ever not knowing.
My Physical Chemistry professor in college told us the most important thing we would learn in his class was that "All People Suck". Second most important was "Marry for Money".
Its not just a matter of programming and habits. A babies brain isn't fully developed and therefore some things it just won't be capable off doing.
MOzGA ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you can imagine that calling a baby stupid for its inability to do things it literally can't do- being something considered unreasonable to some of us?
It is not unreasonable. I don't fault babies for their inabilities but the fact is they aren't as smart as an adult or are able to form complex thoughts which fits what most people define stupidity as.
Do you think it is wrong if I said a fish is a bad sprinter? Clearly a fish lacks the ability to run but does somehow make the observation that they are bad sprinters incorrect?
MOzGA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you would consider all other animals to be stupid because "They are unable to form complex thoughts" unlike us adult humans?
Fish can't sprint. Why would one even consider calling them stupid for that? It's a fact.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-Karakui ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh a developmental psychologist on Reddit. I think your subject is bullshit. Good day. But seriously. I had a dev psychology module last term. Pretty much the only thing I learned from it is that I'm now 90% convinced most psychologists who do psychology on babies are just making it up. There was one seminar I remember that was on infants and empathy and they had to define what was classed as "a baby showing empathy" before they did the experiment. Which means the entire results of the experiment could be completely reversed if you just change what you define as "a baby showing empathy"!
On a science task, students had to match the predator to the prey. One kid was matching a robin, and instead of matching it to the worm....he scratched it out and wrote Joker.
Coxjl17 ยท 2540 points ยท Posted at 00:49:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to coach basketball and was trying to get the kids into a 2-3 zone. He yelled out to one kid in particular who was in man to man, "what defense are we playing?!"
Unrelated to this post, but related to this comment. I was working for a carpentry company framing up houses. I like to say this company was a bootcamp for framers because of the "gung-ho" ,hold nothing back work ethic. Any how, i had an appointment that was very important i arrive on time for and in the florida heat, any excuse to quit early is important. I know it is getting close to my take off time, I ask the foreman "what time is it, matt?" he yells back "its game time baby!!". I lowered my head in defeat and went back to work.
Unrelated to the general thread, but similar to your comment...
When we first moved to Texas I was about 7. The first time I ordered a steak at a restaurant the waiter asked how I wanted it prepared. I said, "very good, thank you." I just wanted a good steak, didn't know anything about ordering for temps as a young'un. My dad still laughs about it.
There are 2 types of defense in basketball: one-on-one, and zone defense. The player was doing one-on-one when the plan was to play zone. So the coach tries to remind the player of the plan, asking him: "what defense are we playing?" and the kid thinks the coach is trying to pump him up so he replied "tough defense".
The coach was trying to get the players into a zone defense, where each player is assigned a zone or area of the court that they guard. This is in contrast to man to man coverage, where each player is assigned a player on the other team to guard. The kid wasn't playing the same defense as the coach wanted, so coach asks a rhetorical question hoping the kid would remember that he was supposed to play zone defense. Instead he thought coach was trying to hype up the defense.
We were going to be using iodine to fume fingerprints. Iodine vapor is no joke, so I terrify the students and use only two volunteers with goggles and respirators at the chemical hood. But, we still all go over the MSDS, PPE, and equipment.
I spent maybe five minutes talking about everything and the chemical hood to my class of thirty. Towards the end,
"So. Someone tell me: what is a hood?"
A hand shoots up.
"Yes, [student]."
"It's, like, the place where you grow up."
I facepalm, the class laughs, and I'm unable to pivot his answer in the moment. (He's on the autism spectrum and wasn't trying to be funny).
[deleted] ยท 4177 points ยท Posted at 02:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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SethQ ยท 3580 points ยท Posted at 04:59:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to teach biology/chemistry/AP Bio at the "black high school". She's got dozens of stories like this.
At one point they were doing some reaction that created waste and when asked what to do with the garbage she just gestured to the back of the classroom and said "just throw it in the hood", to which one student replied "typical white response"
Look, I teach and the best laughs I get is making fun of white people. I'm a middle-aged white lady and I'll say, "What, I'm OG!" Or try and dance a little (badly) and say, "I'm just toooo white." Cracks them up.
I make white jokes and now I get corporate reprimands. I used to work at one of the country's largest organizations where there was a significant number of homosexuals. We used to bust each other up all the time with gay jokes (Gay guy - "Hello Kitty? Now THAT'S gay!"). Alas, those days are now gone due to the political correctness that has taken over.
See, the high schoolers think I'm cool and won't rat me out. ;-) It helps that I know my audience. We're in the South and these guys are really laid back. I worked at an all-black school last year and I wouldn't have dreamed of cracking a joke with them. I've had redneck students say really racist things and looked at the one black kid in class and said, "I'm going to turn my head for a few minutes." Of course I was joking, but I wanted him to know that I understood if he felt angry (to his credit, he just laughed it off) and I did report the kid to the administration.
It's a good thing. I can dish it right back at you, probably even better than most because of the "you can't bullshit a bullshiter" thing.
Doesn't mean I enjoy it and that I don't think about quitting every single day because of it and how I could get away with stabbing you on my last day.
We aren't all good in the head, too many people forget that fact.
Well, first off, we were all friends and we liked each other. If you have anger issues, you should go see a therapist before you go postal on your co-workers.
Being from the Chicago area this was the first thing to pop in my mind. He actually lives about 1.5 hours from the city and didn't grow up in the "hood" but I truly hope those kids get life.
r2002 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:16:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That TV show literally writes itself.
An autistic black youth defies all odds and joins the police academy where he meets an ornery forensics science teacher with a deep dark secret who is 2 days from retirement.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:20:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! Sounds fucking awesome!
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
south park already did it crips and bloods episode with jimmy and timmmmmmmmmahhhhh
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:55:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my experience, urban inner cities have more racial violence and bullying, but not as much special needs hate. You can be in a class where kids are going wild on each other, but sorta lay off the special needs kids. Contrast that with suburban schools, kids would regularly harass special needs kids while driving off in their parents cars.
Yeah that was my bad. I guess I figured it'd be harder for a young black person to be black, in a gang and autistic than it would be for a young white person?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's one of those white privilege things, innit? You can have even debilitating mental illnesses (not that autism is necessarily debilitating) and still be basically fine.
I think he's talking more about the terminology, gangster brings up an image of a 1920's esque mafia while gang member brings up more of the image you generally associate with the inner city.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, what age range are you in, if you don't mind me asking? My mom says the same thing, but that's not at all the case for me. Gangster definitely is associated more with gangs, whereas I think of the 1920s Gangster with words like "mafia" or "mob." I'm curious if it's generational.
I'm not from an older generation, for me it has to do with the way it is used, if you say somebody is gangster or the like than i associate with gangs, but if you call somebody a gangster I associate it with the mafia. It all depends on context which is notoriously hard to determine over the internet/through text.
jpicazo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I was 10, I saw a "gangster" costume in the Party City ad and it was just a guy in a baggy suit and I didn't get what was gangster about it
I just don't think this line of conversation could get any whiter.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:58:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're working in a fume hood, you're fine. It's not that bad, and it's a great learning tool, because when purple gas comes out of something, o-chem students pay attention.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:11:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:22:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When iodine sublimes, it becomes a purple gas. Bromine is the fun orange gas. Outside of being fully-clothed, wearing goggles, and working in a fume hood, you really don't need anything else. I prefer to wear gloves too, just in case, but more because I've had acid burns (and when I work with iodine, acid is step 2), and they're unpleasant. And staining my skin with iodine was only fun the first couple of times.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:29:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between Br2 and I2 has to do with oxidation potential. Bromine is more oxidizing than iodine, so chemically bromine is more versatile, but can be harder to work with, and will react with your body quicker. I would recommend wearing gloves, but never having actually given myself a bromine burn I can't tell you how bad they are.
That being said I have made some questionable lab safety decisions and inhaled some iodine vapors in my day. I'm still alive and don't seem to have any chronic health conditions as a result, so the respirator is complete overkill. I wouldn't in general recommend breathing the stuff in though.
Bromine is not fun, you have to wear pretty thick gloves (like the dishwashing kind) when dealing with it, because that gas is pretty corrosive, it'll eat through pretty much anything given enough time and Nitrile gloves don't offer a lot of protection.
That said, work in a fumehood, that's working and on and with another one that's also working and on nearby, along with regular PPE and you'll be fine. In the exceedingly rare event the fumehood you are in fails then you can put lids on whatever you are using and transfer it to the working fumehood.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:20:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they are in organic lab they are likely using it in small quantities for staining where ventilation procedures aren't really needed, not fuming large quantities like you're doing.
Source: Organic professor who uses iodine in lab class. I never use the hoods for it because it's contained in a small bottle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For staining, sure, no need for ventilation, iodine is very stable at room temperature, otherwise doctors wouldn't be able to use it for sterilization. But if you're going to heat it up, it needs a hood, which is what I do, and what I believe the fingerprint guy is doing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically same at my school. Somehow my chem teacher didn't notice that I'd balanced an equation incorrectly in my lab setup, so instead of the reaction releasing hydrogen gas out released chlorine gas (and lots of it), it also took a good 5 minutes for me to realize there was a problem. Yeah the rest of my experiment took place in the fume Hood....
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a fume hood and you also use respirators? That's a bit overkill.
Well, I'm also a lawyer. I'm very risk-averse when doing labs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. I work with a lot of iodine in my lab, tossing it onto a pyridine compound, and then replacing it with hydroxyl groups, which means burning off a LOT of iodine gas from a solution with that iodide-substituted pyridine compound in high concentration hydrochloric acid. Lots of stuff I wouldn't want to breathe in, but I'm safe with the fume hood.
Late to this but how much of a no joke is iodine vapour? When I was in year 12 (final yr of high school in Australia) in chemistry we were given a hypothesis (I think it was just basic solubility testing), and a bunch of crap like various powdered forms of chemicals, water, Bunsen burner and we had to design and do our own experiment, tabulate results etc etc We had a sub supervising.
One person started to heat the iodine in water above the Bunsen and the chem teacher from next door came in by chance and was like aaaaaah pls stop that asap pls.
It's a small classroom and the hood (portable) was taking up a lot of space. They were all asking about it at the beginning of the lesson, this kid just missed it.
I also teach living environment (biology). I'd be thrilled if they knew basic reproductive anatomy. I grew up Catholic, but I preach safe sex daily.
Mackinz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(He's on the autism spectrum and wasn't trying to be funny).
I am on the autism spectrum, and I would bet he was trying to be funny. I crack jokes like this on the regular.
So when I was looking up "iodine vapour" the first result google suggested at "iodine va" was "iodine vampire" and now I want to know what an Undead Halogen would be like...
When my son was about 2 he was fascinated with cars. So one day we see a fancy car and I was teaching him the car parts.
I said "where's the tire?" And he points to a tire. "Where the steering wheel?" He points to the steering wheel. "Where's the hood?" He points to the sweatshirt hood on his head...
I'm Autistic myself and although I dislike the functioning level idea am considered by others high functioning. I was rather literal minded as a child and still am, there is nothing wrong with it and children should not have to change even more to please NT's then they already have to. It is already stressful enough working to fit in and get all of the social cues. I belive that many are not doing it purposefully and if they want to fine more the fool of the one that got suckered. People should not be punished for humor that is inoffensive. Also screw the assholes that use Autistic and retard as insults they are not worth speaking to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agree on all points. I'm still a black and white thinker, though I try to be more naunced. I understand that some kids are jsut hard-wired to think like that, but I'm also somewhat suspicious as I've pulled the ASd card myself when I was younger to get myself out of disciplinary situations. Which is bullshit. But again, that's not saying all ASD kids do that. And I loathe people who use "autistic" or "retarded" as an insult. It shows how naive they are.
r2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, you are in forensic science. So maybe he thought you were going Training Day on them and decided to drop some street knowledge on them.
I worked with an iodine solution in biology when I was young, probably like when I was 13 or something and we only had to wear goggles. Is it particularly dangerous. Is it likely I just had a low concentrated solution or something?
I always wonder how folks on the spectrum feel when this happens. I was in an upper level undergrad class and half the class was late because of rain. The prof started going "Late" and then "You're late" to people who came in. He escalated it slightly each time finishing with "Late late late late late." The next person who came in, he said "Class?"
We all knew to go "Late late late late late" and just as quickly knew the joke was over. The aspie in class (he 'came out' as part of a project) missed that and started going "Late, etc."
I was in a CSI class one day and we were discussing methods of field testing to determine if a substance was an illicit drug or not.
The instructor asked us, "You're processing a crime scene and come across a whitish, powdery substance. How to you find out what it is?"
I was on good terms with this particular instructor so I say, "Snort it and see what it does for you."
We all had a good chuckle then got back to work.
Hof354 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true but not in this context all you had to say
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:53 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am old. I was using MSDS since the mid '90's. But I had to personally update about 36 books by hand when the system updated to SDS. So I was compelled to bust you, lol.
bobisbit ยท 3262 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is intentional, but I teach a foreign language, and so when I introduce the word for "I don't know" I call on a student who typically gets answers wrong, and ask them to translate the word as if (s)he should know it. When the student inevitability responds, "I don't know" I tell them they're right and the look on their face is always priceless.
zray312 ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 11:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when I first started learning Spanish!
We were learning question words and my Spanish teacher asked "What does 'Quรฉ' mean, zray312?" while I wasn't paying attention, and I only heard the "zray312" part so I said "What?" and she was like "Very good!" and just continued on with the lesson.
When I was a kid, I walked into the room and asked my mom what movie she was watching. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". "What? I don't know?! What movie is this?" "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner".
It went on for awhile and I became increasingly exasperated and annoyed that she now wouldn't answer two questions.
I took a very short introduction to Mandarin class and the teacher asked me to recite the vowel sounds. I couldn't remember the sound for "ลซ", so I just said "uhhh" and was apparently correct.
Evning ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. The right sounding "uhh" sounds about right.
Iy13n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:24:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't it sound more like a mix between an e, u, and y?
EDIT: forgot that "an" should be used before a vowel
Evning ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:27:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously speaking?
E, u, y
In certain order. I dont think 'a' plays any part in the sound haha.
Think deep throat reverb. More or less
I am a native speaker. Which means i know MUCH less about it than the people who had to sweat embarrassment to learn it XD
Evning ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure!
"ลชลชลชลชลชลชลชลช~~~~"
Felt that?
Gyddanar ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:43:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do something similar for phrases to ask people to repeat something.
'Could you say that again' or 'I didn't hear that' for example.
If that's the answer, I'll ask a confident student, and repeat the question as though they'd asked for clarification.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was small one kid that didn't study took a test on English vocabulary. He wrote nose (don't know in spanish is no se) in every place possible. He got one right, the smelling nose.
bobisbit ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I say something like "come on, take a guess, you know this" and if they do actually guess another word, it's even more funny when the next student answers correctly and they realize how easily they could've gotten it right.
Once, when discussing the neck exercise called a "shrug", my younger brother overheard and was unsure of what that exercise is. He asked me, "what's a shrug?" My reply was to literally go
ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Iy13n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:25:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-Karakui ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 12:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which language? I love languages that have a single word for "I don't know". It makes it so obvious that English people are so averse to admitting they don't know stuff that they never invented a single word for not knowing.
A composer and conductor. He's written a lot of works you'd recognize, like the scores for West Side Story and On The Waterfront. Look him up, he's done so much!
It makes you an asshole though, but hey, as long as being right is the most important thing to you then feel free to go around complaining about how you are upset about people getting useless internet points.
There's this wonderful thing I'd like to introduce you to called interaction. You should try it some time, with that scintillating personality of yours.
Thank God we have you, a one man crusade against inanity! Maybe one day only the most intelligent among us will receive recognition for our thoughts; imbecilic commoners below our intellectual standards will forever be banished, for their words lack substance! Godspeed!
Maybe, just maybe, and bear with me here, maybe, and this is just a guess so there's no need to hold me to it, but it's possible that maybe, maybe they did it BECAUSE THEY FUCKING WANTED TO!. Anymore questions?
Wait til you hear about the one where it's actually "the amazing Spider-Man" instead of "the wonderful spider-boy" I still can't wrap my head around this. The energies have aligned, the universes are colliding.
The wonderful spider-boy. I used to read the comics and watch the cartoon as a kid, and I saw all the sam raimi movies in theater. Now all of a sudden it's the amazing Spider-Man.
ngwoo ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:49:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karajan and Berlin is one of the great pairs of classical music history, but Stokowski/Philadelphia is definitely up there with him.
It's not a stretch to say Stokowski invented the way American orchestras sound, and through the Curtis Institute of Music, spread that throughout the US. The vast majority of American woodwinds can trace their lineage back to Stokowski's Philadelphia.
Metals like copper are very good at conducting electricity, meaning electricity flows through copper very easily with little resistance.
Leonard Bernstein was a world renowned music composer and orchestra conductor, who directs the orchestra and sets the tempo of the musical pieces.
Some students were being clever and purposefully wrote Bernstein's name, knowing what answer I was actually looking for. Laughs were had during grading and returning of quizzes.
mak095 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:53:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You da MVP.
Plightz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy names is a conductor, y'know the people who direct the instruments and shit.
I realized I was a Bernstein fan when I discovered his Beethoven Symphony 9 (the Berlin Wall one) had the same special sauce as his Mozart Requiem (1989), which has been my favourite album since childhood. Compare, for instance, Bernstein's version of the Sanctus movement to any other recording, and the difference is just incredible. Then start from the first movement and enjoy the whole thing.
He was a good conductor; I don't deny it. But since I really like Mahler's symphonies, the hubris of his excessively liberal interpretation of the same irks me a bit, especially since he regarded himself as having a special understanding of the composer.
If it was any other composer, though? Yeah, I know I could pick a Bernstein recording and expect real quality.
Wasn't he laid in his coffin with Mahler 3 in his hands? I think Bernstein just really liked Mahler and did what he felt needed to be emphasized kind of like how we dance like freaks when we hear our favorite band/group play. I'm glad he had fun with it but I'm also glad I didn't have to pay a price to see the shows.
But another argument could be made that you can't conduct Mahler the same. His first and sixth symphonies are drastically different because they were written at two different period for Mahler. I really like Bernstein's conducting of Mahler 3 but I prefer Eschenbach's conducting of Mahler 6. Different strokes for different folks.
Elmberg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no better Mahler than with Abaddo and the Lucerne orchestra. Seriously.
I'm not sure if you're serious, but "conductor" refers to both "something through which electricity flows easily" and the guy who waves a baton at the front of an orchestra.
OP was teaching an electricity class, so was looking for the first definition, and the student responded with the second definition. Julliard, being a major music school in the US, wouldn't have classes on electrical conducting, but definitely has classes on musical conducting.
My ex used to pick up hitchhikers all the time and my favorite one got in and instead of saying thanks or anything he immediately said "hey just to put you guys at ease you are statistically a lot more likely to murder me than I am to murder you."
Reminds me of the time my brother and I picked up a hitchhiker and told him if he tries anything crazy I'll crash the car intentionally and kill us all. He didn't seem too scared.
I ended up getting picked up by a car once when I was walking down a ruralish road from a busstop a few miles from where I was staying. The woman driving saw me with the suitcase and thought I could use a lift (which I most definitely could, one of the wheels on the suitcase was starting to wear and melt away a bit because of the heat from walking so long in the heat.
I'm not a murderer though, so hopefully I'm a hoopy frood because if I turned out to be a ghost, this would be a really shitty way to find out.
cgibson6 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 07:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit, just close the parenthesis. Why!?
heav94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh way harder than it needed to. LOL
TominNJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no. The hitchhiker is a murderee. Your job is to stall and ask stupid questions while the murderee screams "go go go!" until the murderer shows up and kills you.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually not true. TV shows do not actually represent reality at all times. Besides, there don't even exist "ghosts" thus your statements is false.
Maybe it's to know your limits and not overwhelm yourself with too much work? I'm not sure though! I've known the story since childhood but I never really considered the moral behind it.
haksli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, don't worry, I am not going to overwhelm myself with too much work. ^^
As a parent who has read this story way too many times, I would also argue that the subliminal moral is "Ditch your broken friends", as the poor first train is just left there sitting on the tracks without a backwards glance.
Oh man this reminds me of the time I tried to find an elevator at the Louvre. I found one, but it only went to lower levels, and I was trying to go up a level. I saw some museum employees and asked if they knew where there was an elevator to go up. They took me to this same elevator. I was confused and asked, "but does it go up?"
They were like "Yes, elevators go up and down," rolled their eyes and walked away.
I don't get it. Are you just stupid? Am I just stupid? Help me
Edit: this is my top rated comment ever. Fml.
Techun22 ยท 242 points ยท Posted at 02:42:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They wanted to to to a floor higher. They found an elevator that went from their floor to lower floors. They wanted to find an elevator that went to floors above the current floor.
Imagine a building that has an elevator that only goes between first floor and basement. Op is asking if the elevator goes up to floors above the first floor, but the people interpreted it as asking whether the elevator could travel upwards in general
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the elevator they just came from that went down would do exactly as requested, take them up (to where they just came from).
The Louvre is the formal royal palace, the museum is a museum. There are elevators that only go up or down a few floors as they needed to be fitted in near the stairwells that only go up one or two floors.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:58:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
bellenus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why this has gotten down voted so much. It's completely true. The times I have had to go to France for work is the most frustrating times of my life. If you don't want people saying that about you, just adjust your attitude so you don't come of a rude, sarcastic, unhelpful even when working in a service-profession, frenchmen...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you need a straight answer in clear English from a Frenchman, just start slaughtering the French language.
Source:Am American, Have needed directions in France.
Edit: The French Language, slaughtering people is not cool.
Yes, I definitely see how asking a waiter for a menu, a hotel receptionist for directions to transportation etc makes a person an asshole. Poor sobs, who have to talk to people paying them..
edit I have to say, I fail to see how this asshole-behavior of mine, when I travel, always seems to be considered nice behavior in Netherlands, England, Greece and Germany. But of course, the french know best....
If you expect to be treated in a certain way just because you are a customer, there are many places in the world you really shouldn't go to. France is one of them. Buy your nice behavior someplace else.
The fact that you fail to find out basic facts about a place you're about to visit is the at the very core of assholism.
Yes, that's it :)
Say he's on G/F and the elevator goes to B1 and B2. OP asks about an elevator and when a staff member points at the one he just tried, knowing that it doesn't go any higher, he asks "but does it go upwards ?" and they smartassly reply "well that's an elevator, dude, of course it does" ignoring the fact that it won't go any higher than this floor.
No, older buildings often have elevators that only go up to a certain floor. There were safety/engineering concerns for elevators that had to span many floors and also often additional floors could be added which an older elevator from before the renovation wouldn't cover.
Yes, and I'm sure the over 200 year old historical landmark had extensive work done to extend the elevator shafts which is what is actually important here, ignoring that it is a huge building of varying height...
Yabbaba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Paris. I've been to the Louvre countless times. The elevators OP is talking about are not in the older parts of the museum - there are no elevators in the older parts of the museum.
Ninja edit: besides, the older parts of the Louvre are not very high. Two or three floors tops.
You drive into an underground parking structure. It has three underground floors. Each floor has an elevator that goes up to the first floor which is the lobby.
Now that you've taken the parking structure elevator up to the lobby there are no more elevators that go up the the 2nd floor, 3rd floor, etc...of the main museum building.
So the OP asked them where the elevators go up, but they showed him the elevators that go down to the parking structure (they also go up too)
The Louvre is crazily huge, and the structures making up the complex both underground and above have been built over the course of several centuries, whereas elevators are a fairly recent thing.
So, my guess is that when they added those, there were many places where they couldn't make them go all the way up or down for structural reasons (the building wasn't planned with elevators in mind). Instead each may only connect a subset of the floors, and if you want to go all the way from the cellar to the top you might have to change one or two times in between.
The elevator the poster was talking about happened to be one that did not go any higher than the floor they were on, although there probably was another one somewhere else that did go higher.
Many big buildings with heavy elevator traffic have elevators which only stop on specific floors. This prevents them from becoming immediately full when one arrives at the lobby because not everyone is waiting to get in the same elevator and instead they queue up around the specific elevator they need.
The employees were just being smartasses.
burlal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want you to follow me around so you can ask all the same questions I would.
I worked in a 9-level building with a tiered structure. Some elevators would go to all the floors, some from 3-9, some 6-8, and some 7-9. It was confusing as hell.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've stayed in a hotel where I had to take an elevator to get to the hotel on the third floor and that was as high as that elevator went but there was another set of elevators off to the right that would only to go floors 4-however many floors there were. But I wasn't able to get to street level or the parking area with the elevators.
It's pretty easy once you get it: He was in front of an elevator that connects say Ground floor and basement. He wanted to know if there is an elevator to floor 1 (above ground floor).
Norwegr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I actually got it. I just wanted to be a part of something :)
I had to write this to you personally. Sleeping soundly at 3am this morning, my kid comes in says, he's scared, I put him back to bed after a while...by now I'm completely awake at 3:45. Redditing ensues and I come across your response...and have no idea why it struck me as so funny, but I launch into hysterical laughter, and it didn't stop for a good 45 minutes, even after I put the phone down...kept on crying laughing, stomach hurt, tears rolling out of my eyes. Thank you for that, hadn't laughed like that in about a year. My husband was pissed....oh well, worth it. I guess I could imagine me writing or saying the same exact thing to the previous story.
Some elevators have a range of floors that does not reach the whole building. Let's say op was on floor 5. The only elevators Op could find went from the ground floor to floor five. Op was looking for an elevator that could take her higher than 5 and the guard mistook this request as if Op was asking if elevators go both ways.
I believe the elevator he was trying to use only went up to a specific floor. He was trying to find one that went higher. But he didn't explain that well to the museum staff and they just thought he was stupid and didn't know elevators go up and down
this reminds me of the sideways stories of wayside school books by louis sachar. the book takes place in an oddball school and there are many mishaps and whatnot, but at one point there was a chapter where the nutty principal wanted elevators (because the school was 30 stores high), but didn't want confusion as to which elevator to take. so there was an UP elevator and a DOWN elevator.. they only worked once.
Upvote because you reminded me of that book. Which I hadn't read or even remembered existed for at least 10 years. Now all the individual stories of all the kids in that book are flooding back.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:55:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen in NYC. I was in a choir performing at Carnegie Hall and was running late for out first rehearsal there, and didn't know the directions. Spent 20 minutes getting the answer "Practice, practice, practice."
Another story from the Louvre. My brother got lost trying to find a specific section. He approached an employee with the guide and asked them "Do you know where we are" as in on the guide. The employee simply answered "We are in ze Louvre!" and walked away.
It is so fucking hard to talk to French people about elevators. I have no idea what it is. It's not the language. It's not like it's hard to provide clear answers about elevators, or discern the meaning of questions about them, in French. I've even had totally intelligible discussions about elevators in French with several Haitians, a Russian, and an Algerian. Yet when I'm talking to a French person and try to ask or answer a totally fucking simple question about elevators, it's like I'm talking to a damn pod person who's neither heard of an elevator nor had a conversation with a real earth human before.
"Can I take this elevator to the garage?"
"MANY HUMAN MATTER TRANSPORT SYSTEMS ARE INTERCONNECTED, AS YOU KNOW FELLOW HUMAN. MY BERET IS A HAT. IF YOU DRIVE IN YOUR CAR TO THE SKY IT IS AN AIRPLANE NOT AN ELEVATOR."
anweisz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in an Iberia flight they had these weird socks together with the blankets and pillows. We didn't know why they would give us socks so a girl from the group asked the flight attendant "Excuse me, what are these socks for?" And the attendant, in the most sarcastic tone, said "To put them in your head obviously! Try and see if they fit!" And stormed off, as if to say obviously they're for the feet you moron.
French people can be a bit assholish in this situations. One time we where traveling in TGV from south France to Paris when my brothers wanted to have a smoke. So they asked an employee if there was a smoking allowed coach. He told them "no, but you can smoke in the terrace". My sister was stupid enough to ask where the terrace was.
Obviously elevators go up and down, but some only cover sections of the building's floors. OP wanted to go further up than that particular elevator went.
While on exchange in NZ people asked me (American) about what side of the road we drive on, and after the first few bits of confusion I now say "right-hand side" every time now, even when talking to Americans, as long as "right"could be misinterpreted as correct, but not the right-hand direction... I overthink things sometimes.
catpet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said to a taxi driver in England that it felt weird riding in cars there, because at home we drive on the right side of the road.
"No, you drive in the wrong side"
Fun guy.
Not just the U.K., BTW, but also other places such as the countries of Oceania/South-Eastern Asia, India, South Africa (not just the country, but the southern area of Africa in general), Japan, and some South American countries (which I think are/were French territories, IIRC).
Pretty much most of the commonwealth drive on the left. The reason it changed at all was because American's started driving on their right in order to shoot bandits while also continuing to drive.
I recall reading that driving on the left originated in a similar fashion. Men on horseback would keep to the left because their right arms were usually stronger, so in the event of a jousting / sword battle, they felt more confident striking a opponent to their right.
Canada has made some funny choices. They drive on the right so they can share road habits and vehicles with Americans (smart). But then they decide to go with kilometers.
Most people are right hand and right eye dominant. Having that side to the centre and that hand on the wheel means better control and response to incidents
Luno70 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your right eye is connected to your left brain hemisphere where logical processing takes place. I'd rather drive on the left side using my right eye than using my right hemisphere that takes care of emotional responses.
Haha was just about to post this pretty much verbatim.
Luno70 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:41:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there is an eye preference regardless, even if it is much less with the corpus callosum intact. A study was conducted amongst teachers and the students situated corresponding to the teachers emotional left eye and right hemisphere were described more affectionately than students on the other side of class. Also remembering math class, where the good students sit on the left side of the classroom reading from the blackboard with their left hemisphere (right eye).
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a myth originating from bad science btw. Many people do have regions, even entire hemispheres of the brain that specialize, but exactly how that happens is highly individual. The "left brain logical" idea came from small sample sizes and poor methodology.
Luno70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that the hemispheres wasn't that specialized afterall. What about the experiments with people with sewered corpus columna? The fact that they can only verbalize the name of objects they hold in their right hand and things grasped with the left hand they can only describe how they feel about that object (if I remember that right)?
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Areas of specialization largely vary from person-to-person. Those maps of the brain showing certain regions areas or sides having certain functionality are mostly bogus in the details in the sense that if you match it up to your brain it won't lineup at all. But they were constructed from someone somewhere's actual brain. Make sense?
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school, our sophomore year French class was considerably more difficult than the previous year, and the teacher was much more motivated. The first day, she ended the class by explaining the homework in French, and finishing by telling us "c'est facile". My entire class said "facile" and stared blankly at her, having no idea what she'd said up to that point. She then said "oui, c'est facile", and again the class said "facile".
This happened 3 or 4 times before she realized what was happening.
To break the ice when I was a chaparone for an elementary school group going to JPL (basically west coast NASA), I asked one of the people that drove the rovers what side they drove on at Mars.
Student: "It has always been my goal in life to blend in."
Soc Prof: "No more questions for you."
c3534l ยท 2366 points ยท Posted at 03:20:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a strange acquaintance I have. A reporter once asked him (as your typical man-on-the-street average-Joe) what he thought of the Catholic sex abuse scandal and he said "if God ordains it, it must be done, even if it's molesting children."
JCY2K ยท 673 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a philosophical dilemma that dates back to Plato.
My Philosophy professor taught us Euthyphro by drawing a picture of a handsome dude in a toga and underneath it wrote:
American Idols: are they idolised because they are great, or are they great because they are idolised.
It's stuck with me over a decade later.
He was a pretty awesome prof actually. He also told us about the bike he had when he was younger that kept breaking. He kept replacing parts and replacing parts then he suddenly thought "I had a bike, but if I've slowly replaced every part, is this the same bike or a new bike now!?" It blew his mind, and then he went to University, took intro to Philosophy and learned of the Ship of Theseus.
The next twist is, if you took all the replaced parts and built another bike, which one would be the original?
mrneo240 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Now instead of selling cars I'm just stuck thinking and all these ponderings
xorgol ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one with the original frame. I think this paradox works better with an axe, or indeed a ship. Nobody replaces a bike's frame, as far as I'm concerned the frame is the bike. Of course it doesn't work without the other components, but it's a bit like a computer not working without a power supply.
As the builder of several parts-computers, I consider the motherboard/CPU combo to define the computer, mainly because those are the parts that Windows registers and if you replace one or both of them you need a new Windows registration.
That said, it's a fun thought exercise. I like to think of every iteration of an idea as a new whole, but the truth is that reality makes no such distinctions and that's why our system of definitions are so limited. In programming terms, we're using an object oriented perspective, but the world is written in machine code.
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needing a new Windows registration is a fun thought experiment :D
I knew someone who cracked their (very expensive and brand new) bike frame. The frame was replaced under warranty with an exact duplicate, using all the other parts of the bike. But I will concede that usually no one replaces the frame.
82Caff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prototype at the factory. Everything else is just a copy.
"I had a bike, but if I've slowly replaced every part, is this the same bike or a new bike now!?"
According to many cities building code law that as long as a portion of a building remains original (it depends on the amount which depends on the code) then it is isn't a new building. That is why often buildings that are old near borders or property or of a certain height will have all, but a small portion replaced.
So according to that it would be the old bike as long as it retains at least one original part.
To answer the question IMO it is neither the same bike nor a new bike, but a different bike.
Idk, I am a completely different person than I was a few years ago. I may even treat that person as a seperate one. So I am 1 year old, mentally.
BenSz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think after seven years or so, every cell in your body will have been replaced. Also, I felt most drastic changes in physiology and psychology around seven year intervals. I mostly feel older than seven because lack of sports, but often behave like a seven year old ๐
The problem is that if we do so there wouldn't be people. Cells die and are made every day at such a rate that you would be constantly changing, so if you think about it that way you're just a consciousness attached to an ever changing organic mass.
However since we always feel like our body is just the one we've always had, its easier to associate it the way we do. Especially since the actions of the past effect the future of your body even if the cells are new.
Not quite--some cells divide and are replaced very rapidly (e.g. skin, GI tract linings) whereas others almost never divide and are rarely replaced (e.g. neurons, cardiac muscle). It's more like a lizard shedding skin and regenerating broken limbs than a true Ship of Theseus scenario.
I don't know that it's wise to answer philosophical questions by defaulting to building codes. I think it's supposed to work the other way around though, sometimes.
IMNSHO, the point isn't to answer the question definitively (unless you have to do so for some legal or building code reason), but to realize some of the problems of identity that are both arbitrary and necessary.
Naming something doesn't make it so. It doesn't make it a something, nor does it actually bind the name to the thing(s) so named.
He also told us about the bike he had when he was younger that kept breaking. He kept replacing parts and replacing parts then he suddenly thought "I had a bike, but if I've slowly replaced every part, is this the same bike or a new bike now!?" It blew his mind, and then he went to University, took intro to Philosophy and learned of the Ship of Theseus.
If you answer that "fuck no - it's molesting children. I don't care who says to do it, morality isn't conditioned on an authority's whim. It's conditioned on the reality of the situation and what that situation entails"
you're in the clear. No problem at all with that response.
That gets you out of the dilemma but it returns you to Socrates' original question to Euthyphro, "What is virtue?"
In the dialogue, Euthyphro didn't have a good answer so he said "Virtue is what the gods love" and Socrates shot back with the dilemma to show him that was a nonanswer, but answering that with "Fine, virtue has nothing to do with the gods" is still a nonanswer to Socrates' important question.
The_Fod ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 09:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtue is what the gods love
It's got electrolytes?
zelyfis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
virtue is a set of rules that exist for the betterment of society, sometimes at the cost of the person submitting to the rules. it is purely a human construct.
So (If you will permit me to keep playing Socrates) to be virtuous is to conform to the constructed expectations of your city? Isn't it possible that the rules your city constructed for you to follow are wicked?
Perhaps, they could result in an innocent philosopher being forced to drink hemlock...
Spank86 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:38:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, Phaedo was about the immortality of the soul, so Plato casts him as being reasonably nonplussed about his own death. Still not Good what the Athenian court did though. The failure of Athens was a central theme all through Plato's works.
fwipyok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:17:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't even have to come to that point, though. In the Greek court system, after conviction the prosecutor and defendant both propose a punishment and the jury decides which to use.
The prosecutor proposed death, and Socrates initially proposed that he be "punished" with free meals from the Prytaneum for the rest of his life. He was eventually talked down to proposing a hefty fine, but I'm sure he didn't win any good will from the jury that only convicted him by a narrow majority in the first place.
Socrates could have lived had he started by proposing a reasonable punishment, instead of mocking the proceedings by proposing a reward as a "punishment." He committed suicide, he wasn't a martyr.
adamd22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know much about the topic but I don't really think he did that to himself. If he was initially given death as a punishment, I don't think there's much to be done against that. What else would he have suggested other than fines? If a jury is so adamant to suggest death over simple fines, I feel like death would have happened anyway
I think he was a martyr. He was an intellectual to the people of Greece, encouraging free-thought and argumentative dialogue. He was killed for his beliefs and kept them til the end. I don't know whether or not Plato ever says anything about the reaction of Greece in general to his death, but he's still a martyr.
Plato says Socrates was only narrowly convicted in the first place (the jury was around 500 people, and he says 30 votes made the difference), but when it came to choosing death we are told that there were 281 more votes for that punishment than there were for his conviction. I honestly believe that if Socrates had wanted to, he could have swayed 30 people to his side with a reasonable proposal for a punishment, rather than burning bridges and convincing 281 more people to vote for his death.
adamd22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't consider that to be anything even close to "suicide" as you put it.
Socrates was like 70 by this point, he had spent his life criticising and mocking the status quo, the system, and those in power, and teaching others to keep an open mind. Of course he died with his beliefs intact, he was put before a system he loathed, and expected to grovel and play the game with them. He was the definition of a martyr, he died because he refused to change his beliefs, he remained critical instead of suddenly collaborating with the system prosecuting him.
Yes, but did the concept of mercy exist before humans were around to put a name on it? Or do living organisms (outside of humans) just do things/act on instinct?
Also Descartes was not so sure of your last sentence....
Thrasymachus makes this argument in Republic Book 1, and is pretty summarily defeated and converted by Socrates, perhaps you should check it out (it's a bit past it's copyright so you can get it for free)
neujosh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while since I read that. Remind me what Socrates' response was, please!
Thras argues against mercy as a good, "justice is that the strong prevail against the weak". He is basicly a very early Nietzsche. But Socrates argues (and gets Thras to agree) that even a mighty king who does whatever he wants would harm himself, and not just others if he acts out of accordance with the Logos (true wisdom)
Working off your summary, humans are both bound and freed due to their constructs. If morality is disregarded due to being a human construct, then all other human constructs must be similarily disregarded. I'll read the book though. I should read more philosophy.
What many people don't realize is that as an empathetic, social species, humans trend towards certain behaviors to create an environment that can support cohabitation.
Matt Dillahunty did a really good lecture on secular morality. Its about starting from very basic rules of thumb and expanding.
I never attached a label to the behavior. I was just informing people of the reality of how our species currently exists.
But I do personally feel that it's impossible to not cohabitate given current constraints.
There's a pretty good thought exercise that I've heard of regarding this discussion of morals (or virtue) in regards to a society.
Try designing a society where your role (profession, race, gender, sex, etc.) is unknown.
A simpler version of this is: Say you have 5 people who really love cake (more or less equally), if you want to ensure that the cake is divided equally, have the person cutting the cake have the last choice of slice.
Essentially. IIRC, the main difference you'd see in a practical sense is that Morals refer to the set of common practices by a group which is seen as "good behavior." (e.g. plenty of places in the US where homosexuality is considered immoral) whereas Virtues refer to the set of personal characteristic which a group of people strive to achieve (e.g. honesty, courage, piety, etc.)
No. Ethics refers to the systematic and logical study of what is right and wrong. It's much "colder" in its discussion.
Morals are what a group of people, a culture, determine to be right or wrong based on things like religion (e.g. some people consider homosexuality immoral). While many morals might line up with what is ethical - don't kill, don't steal, etc. - there are usually many others which apply specifically to that group of people/culture.
Patch95 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good and evil may be human constructs, or they may exist independently of the mind, in the abstract. There are no 'triangles' in the universe, yet the mathematical construct of a triangle (3 points joined by straight lines) could be said to exist independently of human thought. If abstract constructs can exist independently of human thought, why can't good and evil.
Patch95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not suggesting that good and evil are a rigid set of rules, what is good and what is evil can very well change depending on circumstance and environment. Either there are just actions, and 'morals' are societies response to them, or 'good' and 'evil' exist, and societies 'morals' are an effort to achieve 'goodness'.
For example in a society with scant resources, it may very well be 'good' for the elderly to choose exile and death to allow the young to survive. However in a society with abundant healthcare and resources, the same action of suicide could be considered selfish, 'evil'. However, both these ideas in some way suggest that when we ascribe morals to something, we are trying to use some measure of 'goodness' to weigh what is right.
morals cannot exist without intelligent life. i am hesitant to admit an abstraction that relies on intelligence to percieve it.
Patch95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a perfectly reasonable position to hold, I myself have not fully decided what I believe on this issue. I am inclined to believe that abstract ideas do exist in and of themselves, just as we are able to write laws of nature for universes and dimensions that do not exist, and that mathematical concepts are not merely human ideas. I think maybe concepts such as good and evil are less clear cut, as are truth, justice, beauty, but I feel that they are real, even if their application is subjective.
Dinkir9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is touching upon the philosophy behind zoroastrianism.
adamd22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still a non-answer. What are these rules? Are they finite and defined? Are they malleable? How do they benefit society? Slavery benefits society in terms of efficiency.
youre speaking nonsence. i cant say 'these are the rules society should follow'. i am not qualified, and i cannot claim that my limited 20 years of life has granted me enough wisdom to declare such. the rules evolve along with a society and reflects their values and beliefs.
adamd22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's exactly the point here, there isn't an answer. This is exactly what philosophy is: questioning societal norms and implications of everyday life.
But betterment of society is relative and doesn't necessarily entail what we think it means. Killing of 3 billion people might be betterment of society. Letting retarded kids die might be betterment of society.
That answer still gets you stuck on the issue of who defines "betterment of society" and how much of society has to be bettered for it to be virtuous?
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You use that word, "betterment"- I don't think I really understand what you mean by it. You seem knowledgeable about such things, would you care to explain what you mean by it?
djeekay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem knowledgeable about such things
Fetch the hemlock!
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
betterment - The act or process of improving something.
Sorry, I don't understand your question.
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to draw attention to the fact that your account of virtue essentially depends on your concept of "betterment", which presupposes that you already know what the "good" is (just as the concept of "improving" does btw). But what if I asked you to tell me what your concept of the good is? That is what Socrates was ultimately aiming at.
wouldnt i leave that for the society to judge? our current societys values are (off the top of my head) not being a cunt, having a job, and a few others. virtue would be going above that (being nice, having a better job).
this explanation feels sloppy, but i dont feel the need to define what 'good' is, since its a tool deemed valuable to society.
Virtue is like beauty or love; a little (or sometimes a lot) different for everyone, but when you see it (or feel it, in the case of love), you know it.
That would be my answer, though I'm pretty sure it'd be considered a non-answer.
Yes, It is sometimes called the "Socratic fallacy" that one must know the definition of a word in order to understand it. That is generally understood to be untrue today.
Still Socrates does seem to behave as if it is consistently the case "You think you are so virtuous Euthyphro? You are ready to execute your own father? Tell me what that word even means if you're so smart" it's pretty compelling.
Perhaps the argument is not so much that you are not poking at real virtue, or real love, or real beauty, but that if you really are committed to those things you should continue to pursue dialogue about them until you have actually figured them out, not just poked at them.
If you're actively starving them you're not stopping them from starving, are you not? Ergo you're still doing nothing in the face of need, you're just also creating that need.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea this is one of those times you should have remained silent, because opening your mouth removed all doubt. Particularly in how you completely fail to grasp basic english.
If you have the chance to act and chose not to, you have acted negatively. You've acted by making the choice.
The really impressive part is the level of mental deficiency you'd have to have to miss that you still made a choice by not acting.
_foxie ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:41:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not in the clear at all. The dilemma is that Euthyphro has no way to define what is "good", unless he relies on the Gods. Socrates shows he can not define "good" that way either. If there is no defining characteristic of good, then morality is simply a set of arbitrary rules. Your response does not answer the question of what is good any more than the response that it has been preordained by god.
There's plenty of way to define good without reference to gods. We define SO MANY words without reference to any gods. Why would this specific word need gods?
_foxie ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 06:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is how you reach an adequate definition that does not render good as arbitrary. In the dilemma, Euthyphro believes in God (or plural Gods since this is athens), so he is walking an even finer edge. He wants to maintain God's omnipotence, and also maintain that good is not arbitrary. Essentially Socrates shows that you can not have it both ways.
The reason why Euthyphro is inclined to define good through God, is that it seems to be the only way to make goodness an absolute, eternal quality. If it is not absolute or eternal, then we are left with a subjective understanding of goodness, which is the antithesis of morality.
If we take God out of the picture, which Socrates wants to do, then what can we define to be goodness. What concrete terms can we use to do so? We can link it to the evolution of society, some common tendencies in humans, but this again renders it subjective and arbitrary. If it is arbitrary then what reason do I have to restrain myself, or to follow one path rather than the other? If there is no true concept of goodness, how can one say action X is definitely evil?
Another point to be mentioned is that in the dialogue Socrates is about to go on trial, which later ends in his death. He does not need to define goodness at all, he just needs to show either that society, not God, defines goodness or that it can not be defined at all. Then he can state that his sentencing is based on absurdity.
Fyres ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:16:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That worked out really good for him in the end :/
In all seriousness bravo that was a well written response Ty.
The issue is how you reach an adequate definition that does not render good as arbitrary.
To me that's not a problem at all. There are PLENTY of things we have cause to value whose definitions are ultimately arbitrary.
The definition of ALL words is arbitrary.
We can link it to the evolution of society, some common tendencies in humans, but this again renders it subjective and arbitrary.
No it doesn't.
Evolution is a mindless process. It can't possibly select based on something that exists only in the mind. If nature naturally selected based on it then it has to be objectively real.
MeDanP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:37:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problems mitigated by the urges and feelings we rationalize as "good" are objectively real. Good itself is just a meme.
Good has no objective meaning or substance of its own. All we can say objectively is that "good" preserves itself and any social group which embraces it. Is that objectively a good thing? Sure, why not? Good is good because it is good.
Next topic: Is the sensation of hunger objectively real because we have evolved to feel It, or is it just one elegant solution to an objectively real problem?
Define good then. Define good in a sense that is completely objective and applies to everyone. I'm sure you can do something that some of the greatest philosophers in history could not.
You're suggesting that because people in the past haven't done X, therefore X is not possible?
That comment you just made is exactly why this discussion makes no progress. Any time someone has a suggestion it gets dismissed out of hand because "well you can't possibly have advanced any further than the philosophers of old".
"Good"has a definition. If it didn't, we wouldn't even be able to use the word.
No, I'm saying people much smarter and more versed than you couldn't figure it out, so any confidence you have in your own opinion is probably from ignorance and ego, not from actually possessing some great knowledge.
"Good"has a definition. If it didn't, we wouldn't even be able to use the word.
Very wrong. We have words that represent abstractions and undescribable experiences, having a clear definition is not required for a word to exist.
I didn't say it has a clear definition. I said it has a definition.
There is an idea you mean to convey to me, which you know I will understand, when you say that word to me. Humanity has a shared understanding of your intention of meaning when you say the word good. It has a meaning.
Like I said... if that weren't true, how the heck are we using it in conversation all the time? It's not like the word "horstunflap" which really DOES have no meaning. Compare and contrast. One has a meaning, the other doesn't.
Yes exactly, we have a general concept of what good is, but it is very abstract, means slightly different things to different people, and cannot be written down with an objective definition.
That's not true, because abstract concepts don't necessarily exist, and different people have their own perspective on the concept. You could not explain the concept of good to someone who does not understand the concept.
of course I could. What a silly thing to say. you genuinely have no concept of what good means when you use that word? How in the heck are you able to use it in conversation then?
Of course you could? Okay, go ahead and explain it then.
Can you define human? Can you define life? No you cannot, no one has or can. No one has found a way tk define these concepts in a way that a computer would understand them, so they cannot be objectively defined. But we still use the words to represent very general and abstract concepts.
Our greatest philosophers could not define good, you seem to have the ego to believe you can, but refuse to do so.
Can you define human? Can you define life? No you cannot, no one has or can
That's a ridiculous thing to say. If those words have no meaning, HOW CAN YOU USE THEM???
Our greatest philosophers could not define good, you seem to have the ego to believe you can, but refuse to do so.
Why do people do this? This is why philosophy gets nowhere - any time someone tries to think differently to what's been going round in circles for 100s of years, they get told nobody can ever do anything that the mystical ancient gods of philosophy couldn't.
Do you realise how absurd some of those ancient ideas are?
If I say someone is a "good" person I mean to say they do things that are considerate, beneficial to others and otherwise virtuous (reasons things may be virtued being a seperate point).
You KNOW the word has a meaning because you USE that word and intend to convey a MEANING by saying it. Why the fuck else do words exist?
That's a ridiculous thing to say. If those words have no meaning, HOW CAN YOU USE THEM???
If they have objective definitions, then go ahead and define them.
Do you realise how absurd some of those ancient ideas are?
These aren't ancient ideas. No philosopher, from ancient Greek to right now can define good. All the people much smarter than you cannot, you believe you can because you are ignorant.
If I say someone is a "good" person I mean to say they do things that are considerate, beneficial to others and otherwise virtuous
Yes, that is the general abstract idea of goodness that you personally hold, but it is not an objective and thorough definition.
You KNOW the word has a meaning because you USE that word and intend to convey a MEANING by saying it. Why the fuck else do words exist?
Like I've said a million times, the word conveys an abstract concept, not something concrete. Words don't have to represent things that are concrete and objective, nor even real. We can have words for things that do no exist.
... you seem to be confused what you're even disagreeing with.
First you say the word has no meaning, now you're saying it DOES have one, but it just refers to something abstract. well duh. Words can do that. it doesn't mean they have no definition.
Also wtf do you mean about this "objective definition" thing? Objective vs subjective refers to things which are observed. Definitions of words aren't that - they're established through convention and useage. They're nether objective nor subjective. If you mean to say different people may use the same word to refer to different concepts, thats EQUIVOCATION, not subjectivity.
It is philosophically impossible to define "good" as in moral virtue without turning to the omnipotent. The problem lies in the reality that good entirely constructed that it is impossible to lend consistency in meaning to the word without referencing something higher than you as a human. If you don't, good can be defined entirely by what you view as good which, while not necessarily wrong, is not what most people would agree is "good".
Omnipotence has nothing to with it unless you resort to Divine Command Theory--Euthyphro's position--which, as Socrates points out, reduces the term "good" to mean just "that which the gods command." But this contradicts out basic intuitions about what the Good is; few people would accept that God or the gods can, for instance, just decide that theft or murder are good by their own fiat.
One can refer to standards of the Good which can, in some sense, be seen as "higher" than the individual, especially in that the individual cannot decide what the Good is on their own, but are not solely decided by the decree of the most powerful.
It is philosophically impossible to define "good" as in moral virtue without turning to the omnipotent.
I reject that claim entirely. Your justification for it is not something I agree with at all - there is no reason to claim that definition of word X must necessarily reference something higher than a human if X is objective.
If you don't, good can be defined entirely by what you view as good
also false. I have no idea why you would think anything is necessarily subjective if the definition does not make explicit reference to a god.
It doesn't need to be explicit, can certainly be implicit. But let's go the Socratic route to prove this as that's the easiest way to prove this point to you. How would you define "good"?
Good as an idea is fabricated because it has to come from something higher than humanity to be binding, otherwise it is relative. As it is impossible to disassociate the two, if you remove the assumption of a higher power, you remove the existence of "good".
I'm really not sure why you are disagreeing with me because it sounds like you already agree with the Socratic idea that good doesn't exist.
The point isn't that all the uses of good have to relate to god. Socrates point isn't to change the concept of a "good taco" to be a taco descended from god. The point is that the concept of good, as in to be morally good and righteous, is one that is something that only exists because of belief in a god. If you don't believe good exists then you're on the same page as him.
The argument isn't about good THINGS. It's about good as a concept.
And I'd love to prove how its true but you said you "I don't believe in the existence of "good" as a noun." And if you don't believe in good as a noun that means you can't define in which is entirely what Socrates is getting at.
Unless you'd like to define something you don't believe in, in which point I can use the Socratic method to show how it is true...but that just seems counter-intuitive.
Well in philosophy and really just morality in general there is idea often discussed of "the good". It's a concept that is often used to identify what, from a certain view, is just, correct, moral, etc.
Dude that's what I'm telling you: that's what Socrates is getting at. There's this idea of "the good" that comes up as the driving force of decisions. "Morality demands we ban X." "X represents good." "I'm fighting for good." These things are bullshit because they only exists as a clear idea because they are tied to an anchor point, traditionally god. The only reason "good" exists in this manner is because there's something everyone can point to and say "that's it" and the only reason THAT exists is traditionally because of religion.
Yeah. Socrates isn't talking about how the idea that his cup of coffee is good comes from god. So your contention doesn't make Socrates's contention inaccurate.
Well of course there is more to it than that if the dilemma is well known. If God says you should do something terrible, should you do it? There is an arguable answer for that. He's God, his level of understanding far outshines our own.
Then he can damn well explain why he wants something awful done if he's so wise and understanding. I know I'm taking the dilemma a bit literally, but no higher authority should be given blind trust. Maybe it's the devil in disguise. Maybe you're bonkers.
The argument is that humans are plainly limited creatures incapable of understanding beyond a certain level of complexity that would be necessary. Like trying to explain that last sentence to my cat; try all you'd like it just won't work.
adozu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
on the other hand cats have no moral dilemmas at all. everything they feel like doing is completely moral to them.
Just as we would be seen as irredeemably simple, selfish, stupid, hedonistic animals to life forms as superior intellectually to us as we are to cats.
adbet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you're in a crowded room where everyone sees God with you.
God quickly presents an ID confirming he's not some nefarious being and then instructs you to kill everyone in the room.
Not neccesarily. Imagine, you are a dog. You master tells you to, lets say, push over a fat guy on the rails.
Now, you (the dog) understand this command (probably). It might feel just wrong. Explaining to the simple mind of a dog, that there are 5 children tied to the rails around the corner, which would be killed by the train coming unless he pushes the fat man down on the rails to stop the train, would either take to long (again, simple mind) or he just plain out wouldnยดt understand.
Now scale this up to a human in the dogs position and god as "the master". Or maybe even a bigger cognitive difference than between us and the dog. We might just not understand why we are supposed to do whatever god wants from us.
And the "maybe youยดre bonkers" argument is one iยดve stopped taking seriously a this point. Itยดs the same way solipism is just irrelevant. Maybe youยดre bonkers, maybe youยดre not, maybe there is a universe out there, maybe itยดs all created by your mind. You wonยดt now, so itยดs better to act like you are not bonkers and the universe exists, because you donยดt lose anything by acting like everything is normal if solipism or the "you are bonkers" argument is true, while you lose very much if you act by solipism in case it is wrong.
Of course the "you're bonkers" possibility is relevant. We're not discussing some long-shot "maybe everything's been a dream all along" scenario, this is a specific case of someone suddenly thinking they're being told by an unseen entity to do things that seem objectively wrong and crazy, even to them. You would be crazy not to question yourself at that point. I mean, do you think all those people that've snapped and drowned their kids to death because "god told them to" were right? That it was a good thing they did it because you're sure "god" had a reason?
Who said anything about solipsism? I'm talking about taking a step back and looking at your actions in a vacuum - if they're according to what western society currently deems as generally acceptable, carry on. Anything outside that should be justified with evidence and logic, and "because I'm definitely omniscient and know more than you" just doesn't cut it.
irljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, all powerful means ALL powerful, no? Creating a world from a void seems like it'd be way harder than making a creature's brain bigger, or increase cognition.
Edit: than making, not to make
irljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. Is it the power to do anything over a period of time or instantly?
_foxie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is not really whether you should do it or not. That is a different issue, which is why the Euthyphro dilemma is not the perfect example for this kind of discussion.
The dilemma is whether goodness is whatever God demands, or whether God only demands good. if it is the former, than goodness is arbitrary and God is like a ruler who just sets out rules that we must follow. On the other hand, if God demands only what is good, goodness is a quality outside of God which limits him. We also can not find goodness by studying God since he is defined by goodness, not the other way around.
Your last sentence would have you leaning towards the latter view. God understands all, and thus only does what is good. Goodness then seems to be outside of him.
If God is God then isn't whatever he's telling you to do by definition not terrible? The person you're replying to seems to think there's morality separate from a God, but if all of a sudden God revealed himself to me and told me to do some awful shit, and I somehow 100% believed he was God and I was not delusional, I'd fucking do it. So kinda what you said but in more words.
But this, again, presumes that God's understanding is of some higher purpose that the terrible act would serve. I think wording it like this is still an assumption that "good" is something that exists that God knows of.
But what if this weren't the case? What if it wasn't about understanding and was just kept to what God commands, no matter what? What if God simply enjoys seeing murder and, so, commanded it of someone? No higher understanding of the more infinite scale that the act is part of. He just wants it. Does that make it good to do?
In a secular society what is morality but a set of norms.
It's not just a set of norms. There are immoral norms in existence and we all accept this. Morality has a very definite connotation of altruism and considerateness, and those things can be well understood without referencing any norms or authority. You might even say they can be judged quite objectively.
It would be objectively false for me to claim that child molestation is altruistic. Altruism being a necessary (but perhaps not sufficient) defining characteristic of the moral, I can validly therefore conclude child molestation is objectively immoral.
You're right. For all the difficulty we have perfectly defining good, we know what it is. Helping others is good. Hurting others is not. Arguing semantics to make killing and stealing 'good' is an interesting philosophical argument, but an infuriating practical one.
Except when the others you're hurting are Evil, and deserve to be hurt. Or when the others cannot be reasoned with, and the only way to stop them from doing harm is through violence. Or when the others claim to own something that is not theirs, necessitating its confiscation and return to its rightful owners, an act which the original claimant would consider "theft".
Gee, it's almost as if our understanding of good is nowhere near as simple as you think.
Or when the others cannot be reasoned with, and the only way to stop them from doing harm is through violence.
That counts as helping others. It all depends on context.
or when the others claim to own something that is not theirs, necessitating its confiscation and return to its rightful owners, an act which the original claimant would consider "theft".
So returning the the item to its rightful owners is good then. It's not very simple, but it's not that hard either, in practical terms that is.
It is telling that you say this as part of a discussion of ancient Greek philosophy which was a culture in which the virtues of romantic relationships between older men and young boys were glorified as beneficial to all involved and society as a whole. Plato's Symposium is a good example.
Grizknot ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:45:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a true former christen. In a situation where you know that there's a God and he tells you to do something directly, they're really isn't room for your petty moralizing. This is the literal controller of your very cells' existence. The only correct response to any request is "tell me when to stop."
This isn't about God's authority or your need to defy your father and his ideology. This is about you being a puny, small minded human and God understanding all of existence.
I don't exactly know a lot about the Bible, but aren't there a lot of times that devils/generally evil people masquerade as good people to get humans to do their bidding? Blindly following anyone doesn't make much sense, if that's the case. If he's omniscient, then he'd understand why you are refusing him at first.
but aren't there a lot of times that devils/generally evil people masquerade as good people to get humans to do their bidding?
Not really the point. As I said:
In a situation where you know that there's a God and he tells you to do something directly...
We're past proof or whatever. You know.
If he's omniscient, then he'd understand why you are refusing him at first.
Using that logic he'd say it in a such a way the first time that you wouldn't refuse.
My point is that /u/usernumber36 is viewing this from the perspective of Family Guy's or any number of hollywood's cliched gods, but that's really not the meaning of God. If you watched Intersteller, it'd be kinda like instead of a 5-th dimensional being helping them out and creating the wormhole, it was an infiniti-dimensional being. That's God. Whatever his plan is, you're not gonna stop it from happening because you think you know best or because your name is Jack Sparrow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moses was the one to change his mind. Abraham was the opposite; God told him to go sacrifice his son Isaac so Abraham went up and tried to do just that until at the very last second God was like "woah okay, I believe you trust Me now. You can stop now."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a city called Sodom (the root of "sodomy") and Lot (pronounced Lowt) was Abraham's brother-in-law/cousin. And what you're thinking of was actually Abraham's failure to convince God to change his mind about destroying Sodom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I remember, Abraham asked god to save the cities if there were a min number of "righteous" people (at first 50 but eventually ten) unfortunately there weren't so god destroyed it.
Huh I've wondered that for a long time. Thanks for the lead
_foxie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're interested, also look into Kierkegaard's writing on Abraham and Isaac, suspension of ethics or something like that. Euthyphro deals with the question of whether goodness is what God demands, or that God only demands what is good. It's a slightly different issue then whether one should listen to God's will, regardless of one's subjective opinion. Although I believe Kierkegaard deals with the Euthyhpro dilemma as well.
_foxie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That should probably give it to you. It's under Fear and Trembling on Wikipedia, although I would also look at Stanford's philosophy site since they have some good explanations.
Just to note, although I haven't spent much time on Kierkegaard's argument, I'm not a fan of it. But it is quite interesting, as are his other arguments.
Full disclosure: Dr. Craig and myself are Christians, and I don't want to start some huge debate on the existence of God (the topic of the video), but I have pondered this myself quite a lot, and I really appreciated what he had to say and thought someone else might as well.
I'm familiar with the work of Dr. Craig, and it does not surprise me that the reactions on that video are disabled. This should strike you as a red flag.
JCY2K ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find that (or any other) argument for the existence of gods compelling. I also don't see disabled comments as a red flag.
YouTube video comments, especially on topics as contentious as religion can rapidly become a hateful nasty place. If whoever posts a video doesn't have time to moderate, it's not unreasonable to turn off comments.
c3534l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'm struggling to come up with an explanation with why you'd say that. What do you think the scandal was about? My theory right now is that you think the scandal was about the fact that some priests were pedophiles, not that the Catholic church protected and enabled them.
The scandal was that the Catholic church, at the time, protected and enabled pedophilic priests. Since then, the entire affair and especially the actions of the priest have been condemned. My original comment was wondering how the fuck anyone could possibly believe that child molestation was okay.
I don't get it either, I've always wanted to blend in too, being invisible in the crowd is so much easier than standing out, why draw needless attention to yourself?
By telling the student she will get no more questions the prof denies the student her goal of blending in, because everyone but her will get questions. Sounds like a thought-provoking challenge to the student's self-conception.
Edit: For those of you, nice redditors, politely and respectfully downvoting me:
No, I don't care about the gender of the student.
No, I don't think it matters.
No, I don't think it's relevant.
I just asked a simple question. It might not be relevant but I was curious. If the person I replied to had said โtheyโ I would have interpreted as either an actual โsheโ or an actual โheโ. However, when they said โsheโ I could only assume that the student was an actual โsheโ. So I asked why since I was curious about what made heyoukidsgetoffmyLAN assume the student was a โsheโ.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it part of the English language to usr male pronouns when the gender is unknown? I admit it's petty but I just don't find a reason to use "she" instead of using "he"?
Honestly, no, not anymore. English is changing rapidly and a lot of people are no longer using male as the default gender. It's a definite faux pas in lots of professional and corporate writing.
Yeah, that's a given. What I'm asking for, if it was unclear, is some article or proof that the use of "he" as a default pronoun is massively starting to be frowned upon. You mention corporate writing and I'd love to see some examples of that, as it seems rather harsh considering it's such an ingrained practice in English.
I'm asking this because some small movements are starting a similar change in Spanish. A big problem (if you want to look at it like that) is that we have "gendered" nouns, e.g.: male and female cat go as gato and gata. The main problem comes with plurals: a bunch of male and female cats uses gatos (the male plural noun), assuming the genre in a similar fashion to English in unknown genders. The point is, a bunch of people want it to be changed and use stuff like "gatxs" on the regular. However, they are a really miniscule minory, despite being somewhat vocal. I'm mentioning all of this because I find it a really weird movement to force such changes on the language when I have been taught that it evolves organically and naturally. This, as it might be implied by my comment, doesn't feel natural at all to me.
English has a long ingrained practice of not always using masculine as the default gender. The use of singular they to denote situations of unknown gender, for instance, goes back centuries. There's also been a trend to de-genderify most of the existing words in English that do have gender, i.e. most female actors now call themselves "actors", not "actresses". The same is done for "servers" (formerly "waitresses"), "police officers" (formerly "policemen"), "firefighters" instead of "firemen", etc. There's also alternating gender, where in longer passages, for the purposes of examples, you go back and forth rather than only defaulting to male. There's also he/she and his/her.
Spanish is going to be a lot harder than English because all of your nouns (and most pronouns) are gendered, whereas this is not true in English, and English also already has many ungendered alternative words already in common usage. We don't have to invent any new words to get away from gender almost entirely.
I can tell you that, anecdotally, a lot of companies, mine included, are focused on using gender-inclusive language both for internal and external communications. When women make up fully half of the population, it just doesn't make sense to give the appearance of excluding them by referring to the male gender. For instance, you wouldn't see a job posting along the lines of "Looking for a new VP. He must have ten years experience ..." Instead, gender-neutral language would be used, along the lines of "The candidate must have ten years experience ..." Expressing a gender preference in a job posting is actually literally against the law, and could subject you to huge discrimination lawsuits, so people absolutely do pay lots of attention to this in corporate America.
As OP of the comment that launched this subthread, I am surprised at the amount of discussion it generated. I first used male pronouns in referring to the student; but immediately after posting I quickly changed them to the female forms. It was really just a sudden inspiration, followed by thinking about why I did that.
I think the alternating gender style you mention was a factor, but more so it was to challenge cognitive rigidity -- mine and others' -- which of course was the main thrust in my brief analysis of the joke. I confess to some gender bias in my afterthought, imagining that "just wanting to blend in" might be more characteristic of women than men; let the SJW hate rain down.
I'm not the person you asked, but I'll often break the whole "it's 'he' if you don't know" rule because I find that often makes people assume the person in question to be male. Breaking the rule intentionally challenges that (although I typically use "they" rather than "she" ). That may have been what they were doing.
It's definitely also possible that something about the story made them think that the person was a girl, though. You never know.
What the hell... why are people arguing with you over this?
To my perspective, I assumed the student was a he, probably because I am a he so the default characters I create in my mind are he's.
When heyyoukidsgetoffmyLAN said "she" I completely missed it and thought (he/she/they?) said "he.
If I had read "she" then the pictures forming in my mind would have conflicted, and I would have been like "wait I thought it was a he?" and had to reread what was said before to make it seem like it was actually a "she".
I then would have determined that nothing referred to the student being a she. So then, I probably would have asked the same question you did.
Is this some kind of SJW-istic behavior? Or maybe it's people who think you're being SJW-ish? I can't tell. This whole ordeal has confused and disappointed me.
So suddenly a difference in motivation renders someone inhuman?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:14:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because people don't necessarily DESIRE to conform but they are pressured to or because it's easier. No one ever sees conforming as a good thing (especially young people) but doesn't admit they do it. This must be understood when the teacher asked. It was probably more of a "ha HA got ya, didn't I?" kind of question. In sociology, how people behave is somewhat subconscious so they don't consciously try to be like everyone else.
But he pretty much nailed it, didn't he? For a reason I think most people wouldn't have given such an ironic answer. So he is not fitting in by saying he wants to fit in... Genius. Or maybe this was the implied joke of your comment and I'm slow to realize it and think "I'm so smart".
No one ever sees conforming as a good thing (especially young people) but doesn't admit they do it.
I absolutely tried my best to conform in high school. I was the the smallest person in the school, and my test scores were through the roof, but I wanted nothing more than to be a normal kid. I ignored homework, I gave intentionally snarky answers, I got thrown out of classes all in an effort to show I didn't think I was "better" than anyone or "special." I hide my academic trophies, I've never hung my diploma (I actually did some fake aging on it.) One of my college papers got nominated for an award and they asked me to present it at a conference. It took 4 professors and $300 for travel expenses to convince me to go. They had to force me to take two promotions at my last job because I was worried my peers would resent me (they did.) My entire early life and adulthood have been punctuated by how different I am. Sometimes I just want to be the guy sitting in the audience at a concert, or a face on a crowded street. I worked a year in a call center doing customer service and, to be honest, I found the whole thing oddly rewarding. I was just a faceless voice to those people. Ironically, working with those people over the phone was the most human and normal I ever felt at a job. People said things like "I know there's probably nothing you can do" or "I know it's not your department but" and it made me feel satisfied to be a part of something larger.
I dont understand... Why not be both? Be the smart guy, but still be the guy in the crowd? Excel at what youre good at but be a nobody for what youre bad or mediocre at? Or why bot find an environment where your intelligence doesnt stand out? Get a job with other smart people. There are so many better options...
Why put yourself down? That doesnt make you normal. That doesnt take away your intelligence. You will always be different.
xorgol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people feel very visible, and that makes them uncomfortable. I think I can empathize. I don't feel very visible most of the time, but when I do feel visible to others I really cringe.
I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don't. I ask myself the same thing all the time. The most obvious answer is my social anxiety, but I think that's more symptomatic than causal. I've always had a lot of trust issues, my ex-gf was a violent alcoholic and I made the mistake of moving to Vegas with her and burning through all my savings in the process. She broke up with me and told me if I didn't let her new boyfriend move in she was just going to quit paying on the lease. I moved to a new house with a couple and my ex ended up stealing the guy and running to another state with him. Then I spent 8 months living with a paranoid schizophrenic and her husband who was never home. Then we all got laid off. Them my roommate woke up one morning and decided, as schizophrenics are wont to do, that she was done with me and I had to get out by the end of the month. I moved back home and 9 months later I've yet to "get back out there." I live in a poor, uneducated, largely blue collar area and I'm currently trying to find a job, but I'm living off the graciousness of my family at the moment so I can't be too picky. The last two years have been the hardest in my entire life. Got some touches of PTSD from a couple shootings and violent incidents that happened near me. I have trouble trusting people. I've been seeing a therapist and doctor to work on my motivation and sleep issues. I used to deal with them by smoking weed, but being unemployed at my parents house puts a damper on that. I'm making steady progress, including several job applications I made today, but it's taking time.
tl;dr: I've got enough baggage to fill a box truck and I'm still working on the customs forms.
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
ROPROPE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:56:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a hypothetical scenario where murder is commonplace and socially acceptable, it's fairly correct to assume that murder has become morally correct.
Your morals are affected by other people, whether you like it or not. You would conform and your morals would alter to match the norms of the society.
Though, that is a bit of an unfair question. Due to the extreme way we usually react to murder, the only way it would become socially acceptable is by the virtue of some form of alternate universe where murder has never been a bad thing, or some kind of real-life version of Crossed.
Just as a footnote: if a Crossed-style pandemic suddenly broke out and morals suddenly didn't exist anymore, it would be more than likely that some people would become, as World War Z calls them, quislings. Quislings are a very literal product of conformity, so they would be the best examples in this scenario.
EDIT: sorry for any and all badly formed sentences/arguments, I wrote this in a rush.
Wanting to "fit in" to your social group and those around you is natural trait. It is common among animals that are social and function as a tribe/community/pack/group etc.
Former A-Level psychology student here. Why people conform fits into 2 categories. The desire to be liked and the desire to be right. That's typically the answer people look for.
Quick edit: A-Level is a qualification in the UK, not a humble brag.
He means "you" in the general sense, as in "why do people conform?" Instead he takes the question literally and answers personally. He answers it as "why do I personally conform." The humor is subverting the question.
Here's why it's funny to me.
Conforming is commonly juxtaposed with personal desire/independent thought. Like you conform because you're unable or unwilling to formulate your own opinion or thoughts on the matter. You're unwilling to have your own motivations and rely on others to tell you what to do. It's funny because his own personal, independent, and hard-conviction is just to follow everyone's else's thoughts and convictions.
Something pretty different but still similar in humor (subverting the question) is
"what is your greatest trait"
"Humility"
The reason this might not be funny to you is because you're a logical or somewhat philosophical human being. You recognize that a personal dream to fit in doesn't necessarily mean a personal dream to have others think for you. Your convictions can be true and self driven even if they're the same as everyone else's. However, it's the common-ness of the juxtaposition that make it implied.
Yeah I have Asperger's so my world is entirely logical. I really struggle with properly displaying and identifying emotions so I am not surprised that I didn't understand this now that you explained it. Thank you though!
If you're anywhere on the spectrum or have similar conditions like ADHD, just conforming and behaving "normally" according to society's rubrics is a struggle and accomplishment.
Most people don't realize they're conforming, they just do it. The guy who does it on purpose to blend in has an ulterior motive. Which is creepy, and in this context, hilarious.
It's why I made a concerted effort with my son to be able to identify emotions behind various facial expressions and to understand things like sarcasm โย because I didn't when I was younger and it was a real struggle.
Depending on ones situation, fitting in is sometimes the best option for a persons professional or academic career.
When I am at work, I do try to conform to some extent. Doing so just makes day to day life easier. I don't think mindfully making lots of inane small talk, and wearing bland business casual clothes makes me Patrick Batemen.
As far as the sociology student goes, I see their statement as kind of like proudly exclaiming, "I want to be a pencil pusher!" or "I want to be in middle management!" I guess I find it mildly amusing.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:23:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scene, emo and hipsters all have one thing in common. They don't want to conform.
Ironically, they are pretty conforming, as they all listen to the same music and dress in the same way. Because it identifies their opposition to conformity.
I have to say, I always kind of respected emos... I would have never been brave enough to go to school dressed like that. Kids are brutal. At least where I grew up.
Either start from the beginning or part 3. Parts 1 and 2 are the shortest and together only take one season, but if you've already read them you won't miss much except for some great music in part 2. Part 3 and especially 4 for me is when the show hit its stride and perfected its style anyway, so you'll be jumping in at the show's best.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I just really dislike Dio in the first part. I know it gets better in the later parts, but the set up for the story just irks me.
Dio in Part 3 is less psychopathic aristocrat and more......god-complex vampire king, so take that as you will. Part 4 is by far my favorite and it shakes up the formula in great ways, but Stardust Crusaders is probably the most popular and classically recognizable part.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's the psychopath aristocrat I can't stand. God-Complex vampire king is more ridiculous and thus fine.
I just can't stand people who punch dogs for fun. Or harass well meaning people just because they can.
I don't conform to anything. I see you've conformed to the dull masses, though.
Soulren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dull masses" is a very common phrase to describe the majority of the population, mainly used by people trying not to "conform". Again, you stumble into stereotype. Also, assumptions about my character don't work if you have no evidence.
Teuthex ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:24:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonconformity is more conformist than conformity. That was the entire point of the original answer.
You're still conforming to the societal norm of going to college. Your reasoning doesn't matter, you're still doing something many people do, something many people spent years in middle and high school being conditioned for.
ok so this story totally doesn't translate to english, but I will give it a shot anyway:
In German there is this little drawing game called "das haus vom nikolaus" consisting of drawing a house without lifting the pen or drawing the same line twice. Well the act of drawing something without lifting your pen is called "in einem zug zeichnen" which literally translates to "drawing in a train".
So yes, one kid actually drew a house. In a train.
yeah they 2-1 NV and I believe they were tied before that match so that should put them at 9 now XD. Though now, dropping Matt and putting Adrian in, it's gonna be wicked. Lourlo top, RO jungle, Piglet mid (so much better than GG), Doublelift/Adrian. Doublelift shot calling is making a huge difference imho
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DrQuint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHAHAHAH IT WAS WATER NOT MILK ONLY 15% GET IT RIGHT AHAHAHAHAHAHA
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:33:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was there and I saw what you did. I saw it with my own two eyes. You can wipe off that grin. We know where you've been. It's all been a pack of lies.
95% of people will get this wrong. Only for geniuses.
Zerotan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a "let us guess your education level" quiz. I scored 80% and it said I had "PhD" education and showed me a picture of Emma Watson in her grad garb.
Start at the bottom left hand corner, go up and draw the left wall. Keep going and draw the left side of the roof and then the right side of the roof and then close the roof to draw the top line of the house, then cross (diagonal line )that to the right side of the house then up to build the right line, cross over to the bottom left hand corner and then build the bottom of it :)
I was a pro.
Natiak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can solve it with your this one weird trick that art teachers hate!
NarejED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did a pretty good job of explaining it in english
Drigr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:03:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was more that the translation is t what we'd call it in English. For them ins Germany, it's "das haus vom nikolaus in einem zug zeichnen" or, draw a house in a train. At least that's how I interpreted it.
2_40 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess so too because Zug is a Teekesselchen (a homonym) in german. It can mean a bunch of things depeding on the context eg train, draft, drag or draw... Just a clever misinterpretation.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:42:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, you could, but I've seen my share of way-too-long noun strings. Especially when something is written by a lazy bureaucrat who doesn't care about other people understanding them.
Are german run on words typically amalgamations of normal words? Like you mentioned we do the same with spaces.
If they are entirely new words that would be more difficult.
splatia ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:27:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Lots of languages do the same thing. Like when you hear the fact, "Inuits have over 100 words for snow!", it's the same thing. They have a couple words for snow, and hundreds of modifiers for it. It's like if you counted "soft rain" "driving rain" "light drizzle" "pouring rain" as different words for rain.
sfurbo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:35:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Inuit thing is kind of different. They take the compounding of words to the extreme where a whole sentence can be one "word". The example form Wikipedia is "Tusaatsiarunnanngittualuujunga.", which means "I can't hear very well.". To further quote WP:
In one large Canadian corpus โ the Nunavut Hansard โ 92% of all words appear only once, in contrast to a small percentage in most English corpora of similar size.
At this point, a word in English stops being a good analogy.
splatia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:36 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a difference in the definition of a "word". Words don't appear once, sentences appear once. Which is a much more reasonable way to look at it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
splatia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they're just compound words. We do the same thing in English. Call something a 'flower pot' enough times and it eventually becomes a flowerpot. It's just more common in German.
I've been learning the language for a while now and it's honestly something I find quite convenient. If you don't know the words involved you're going to have a bit of trouble, but if you do understand the base words, you can usually figure out what the new one translates to. For example, I saw the word 'Zahnarzt' yesterday. I had never seen the word before, but 'Zahn' translates to 'Tooth' and 'Arzt' to 'Doctor', so it wasn't hard to figure out.
Meanwhile if you're learning English, you might know 'tooth' and 'doctor' but you can't really piece out 'dentist' from that.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:39:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we have that too in Dutch. Just stick words together, but not adjectives. A spot to park your car? It's a carparkingspot, all together. (Well but then in Dutch instead of english)
One way to determine if you can mix too words is to put an adjective in between them:
palo = fire; auto = car, truck; paloauto = fire truck;
palo punainen auto -> doesnt really fit in Finnish word structure, so it's paloauto.
epรคjรคrjestelmรคllistyttรคmรคttรถmyydellรครคnsรคkรครคnkรถhรคn is one extreme example of Finnish language, as it's just a one word with tons of presuffixes and one suffix (epรค = un).
Someone has said it would mean something like:
not even with it's (/his/her) own "not being effected by the effect of unsystematicing"? (question with doubting sound)
One reasonable long together-mashed word is elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto;
elintarvike = food; turvallisuus = safety; virasto = office; elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto = food safety office.
pitir-p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall reading somewhere that Turkish and Finnish are very similar languages but based on what you wrote I highly doubt it. We too have very long words in Turkish but we make them with suffixes. We can stick a long sentence in a word using only suffixes. A popular example being รekoslavakyalฤฑlaลtฤฑramadฤฑklarฤฑmฤฑzdanmฤฑลsฤฑnฤฑz. It means "it is said that you're one of those whom we failed to convert to be a checkoslavakian."
Any chance Finnish is gender neutral?
Uusis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They might be similar, but Finnish is in the Finno-Ugric language family with Hungarian and Estonian.
Finnish is gender neutral yeah, we only have "hรคn" for both male and female "he/she".
Also we dont have any "a / an" things for our words.
pitir-p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's why they are similar I guess. Turkish is also gender neutral.
Of course! The full name is "Gesetz zur รbertragung der Aufgaben fรผr die รberwachung der Rinderkennzeichnung und Rindfleischetikettierung", which is about 70% longer.
Colloquially in English you can say 'dogleg' but it's used to refer to a long distance travelled to get between two places which are located relatively close together.
In a sentence-
"This road is blocked, you can take that way but it's a bit of a dogleg"
I'm not sure you've understood this correctly. In German, and at least a few related languages, you could literally make a word go on forever by adding more modifiers. Comparing these to English words when it comes to length is nonsensical.
My favorite word in German was in a story about a squirrel who climbed a hill to get nuts. The hill, naturally, was called a "Nussschalen." Well, actually Nuรschalen, but that's nowhere near as interesting as a word with a triple letter.
A nutshell actually is a Nussschale ever since the spelling reform of 1996 - ร is only used after a long consonant now, all instances of ร after a short consonant became ss.
Your hill might be one of the exceptions, though: Proper names are, of course, not changed (Which is why an advertising column is still a Litfaรsรคule)
R126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But as I said. German words are of virtually infinite length. I could easily compound some more words at the end of the word and the result would still be a meaningful word.
"Rindfleischetikettierungsneuordnungsaufgabenรผbertragungsverordnung" means "statute on the transferral of duties during the re-arrangements in the field of beef labeling". It is that long since German, like most languages except English, uses the name of the animal compounded with the word for "meat" to describe the meat of a farm animal. In this case "Rindfleisch", literally "cattle-meat". Also the word "Etikettierung" for "labeling", which is taken from French, is rather long.
An example for a possible longer word would be: "Rindfleischetikettierungsneuordnungsaufgabenรผbertragungsverordnungsschlichtungskommission", which would be the arbitration committee for the aforementioned statute.
Thank you for your comment. It was very interesting. As a non German speaker, the best part of googling the so called longest word was hearing the Google lady say it.
I am disappoint I cannot hear you say the long word you typed.
Wife of the deputy to the captain of the Danube Steamboat Company.
medicff ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 01:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite German words are the ones for nurses, ambulances and hospitals. Krankenvagen is ambulance. Krankenhaus is hospital. Krankenschwester is nurse. Literal translation kranken = torture.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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medicff ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:21:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's unfortunate. Google lied to me! That bastard
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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medicff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Torture is female.... so many jokes there that I'll just ignore. It seemed really funny the torture would be used in with medical names. Because, well, medicine is pretty medieval. Ever watched a reduction of a shoulder or hip? It's ridiculous
Well it is excellent. I just thought it was funny how you said what the English means in German, rather than what the German means in English. Otherwise, I would have had no idea. Schรถnen Tag noch!
German has many compound words that make so much sense and are easy to remember โ like Handschuh (hand shoe) for glove. If you're learning English as a German you're constantly wondering why you have to learn so many different vocabularies. Just use the words I already know ffs!
2_40 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily you can look up the vocabularies in the word book :D
Lots of words like that in Japanese too. My favorites are "hand neck" for wrist, "foot neck" for ankle, aaaand "milk/boob neck" for nipple. The whole body is just made of necks.
My grandfather is to tell a total dad joke with a punchline something like ich habe die Fenster gegessen or something but I can't for the life of me remember it. Anybody?
Same game exists for English speakers. Not sure it has a name though. What you have to do is the same but no lines can cross eachother and you can't go over any lines again. I never could do it.
One trick, (which works for not doubling back, doesn't help not crossing over), is too look for vertices (corners) with an odd number of lines coming out of them. If there are none, it doesn't matter where you start. If there are 2 you start at one and finish at the other, and if there are more than 2 then it is impossible.
Edit: I'm pretty sure, if you start at the start, always leave at least one undrawn line into the end until you're done, and whenever entering a vertex, exit via an adjacent edge, it will work.
Apparently there are a bunch of ways to draw it. I did it a different way than you linked to, before I saw your link, just to see if I could remember, and then when I asked my boyfriend to try it he did it a different way than you or I did.
retief1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The general rule is based on the number of lines that go into each point. If there every point has an even number of lines attached to it, start anywhere -- it is nearly impossible to fail. If two points have odd numbers of lines and the remaining points have an even number of lines, you have to start at one of the odd points. You should almost automatically end at the other odd point. If 4 or more points have an odd number of lines, it is impossible to solve the problem. See the konigsberg bridge problem and eulerian paths for more info.
I always thought this one was easy.... You start at the bottom left, draw the square, then go bottom left to top right, then do the roof, then go top left to bottom right.
h-dawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lines cross then
retief1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at bottom left, go to middle, go to bottom right, go back to bottom left, go up to top left, go to peak of roof, go to top right, go back to top left, go to middle, go back to top right, go to bottom right.
If you don't want an X in the middle, start at one of the top corners and do whatever the hell you want. It is literally impossible to fail from either top corner.
I had to do something similar for a drawing class, not the house or crossing lines part, but it's called contour drawing. The idea is drawing somethings outline while not looking at the page.
These two corners have 3 lines intersecting rather than 4. So at these points you can start/finish and pass through once. The points with 4 lines intersecting you can only pass through.
These shapes can only be drawn if 2 corners have an odd number of intersections and the rest are even OR all intersections have 4 lines.
Learnt this in maths at the 18...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:39:40 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warte, did he draw the house in a train without breaking the rules?
I remember doing something like that in elementary school.
In Norwegian the words for "arithmetic calculation" and "rain" are homophone. The task was to draw a picture of something to calculate ("Regnefortelling") - I drew how my porch looks on a rainy day instead.
This is why I love German. Instead of making new words, you just stitch together what you already have into Frankenstein-ish 20-letter abominations.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a german I'd guess "Zug" stems from "ziehen" which translates to "pull". It's not to farfetch'd to assume that "in einem zug" would translate to "in one go" or a similar english expression. Personally I find it funny that "ziehen" also translates to "draw" as in "horse-drawn carriage" which is coincidentally also "draw" as in "draw a picture"
And just because I'm bored I'll add some additional fact. There is no way to draw that specific house in one go without drawing the same edge twice and to end up at the starting spot. It's a eulerian path, but not an eulerian cycle.
jekyl42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the etymology of "draw" is from the Old English "dragan" (also the root of the modern English "drag"), which is related to the German "tragan."
Also, nice additional fact. Time for me to go learn about eulerian paths.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at the bottom right corner of a "square C" , go left, up, right, draw a triangle roof over the top, go diagonal from top left to bottom right of the C, turn the C into a box by going straight up, then go diagonal to finish the X. Then draw a fucking train!
You just brought back memories that are over 36 years old. My mom grew up in Germany and she showed me that game when I was a little kid. I forgot all about it until reading your post. I can't stand my mom who is a narcissistic, violent lunatic, but this is one of the very few nice memories of her.
I remember my dad showing me that drawing and saying about Nikolaus. I thought he made it up. You've destroyed me. (Said the redditor in deadpan voice.)
I would say poop satisfies the criteria better than dead fox though. A dead fox is still pretty much a fox, it's just dead now. Poop is when organic material is converted chemically (that's an important aspect here) to another material. There could be living things in the poop, or its materials may have come from living organisms, but it's still non-living.
I'm sure the poop lives matter movement has not marginalized the black lives matter movement in any way. Btw, I'm rather skinny, colored, and my shoes are only called tacky by people with no sense of style
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Water is an inorganic molecule. Poop however is a composition of inorganic and organic molecules as well as microorganisms.
OP student was wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would consider the sea as a system living though
82Caff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OOOOOoooooOOOOOooooocean!
82Caff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poop is made mostly water (75%, comparable to humans). ~2.5% to 5% is misc. other inorganic matter. That leaves ~20% - 22.5% of explicitly organic matter.
The human body, by comparison, is ~78% (children) to 55% (adult woman) water, with an estimated 1.5% misc inorganic content. Resulting, 20.5% - 43% of human bodies are organic.
As a student I always hated it, when I had multiple witty answers to a question in an exam but could only give one. Choosing the funniest one might have cost me a grade or two.
jmeeezy ยท 12140 points ยท Posted at 02:08:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote an exam where the question was "Can you name three *models of DNA replication?"
she wrote, "No."
SOwED ยท 3511 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that was bad question writing on your part.
Edit: For those saying that something like "Name three types of DNA replication." would still result in the student writing "No." you should recognize that this is equivalent to leaving the question blank with the original wording. It was a valid answer to the question; it's not a valid response to the above rewording.
jmeeezy ยท 1958 points ยท Posted at 05:22:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha it so was, and I realized it after I saw her response. I was like, "well. I guess I could've worded that differently."
Don't do that. She knew what she was doing.you're encouraging non-serious test taking! A teacher did that to me and it ruined my school carrier. I made joke answers whenever I could, talking so long to think of good jokes to make my teacher laugh, I didn't have time to go over questions I could have gotten right. They don't need self esteem boosts, that's what friends are for. They need knowledge boosts.
tDewy ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 06:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think most students would abandon looking for the right answer in favor of exclusively telling jokes just because the teacher wrote "good one" by their response.
On second thought, it's talking a long time to think of how...
Eatapear ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh A teacher ruined your school career. He was out to get you huh?
BFinger ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as she (or you. Or whoever) isn't getting points on the test for the joke answer, then I don't see a problem with it. Getting a "haha, yea, that's funny but no points" from the teacher, (to me, at least) would help to humanize the instructor, clearly demonstrate that: yea, you're funny, but that doesn't give you marks on the test, and give the student a sense of "I know I don't know this and it's been communicated to the instructor, now, that I don't know this". And as long as both parties follow-up on that and try to get the student to understand then that's a net gain. Sure, the student does poorly on that test, but we've identified what they don't know and can address it. TL;DR: I don't see a problem with instructors acknowledging joke-answers as long as A) no test-points are given and B) both parties follow-up to tackle the acknowledged gap in student knowledge. (Disclaimer on formatting: drunk on mobile)
I always hated the "why do you think" in science based classes. Like, this is a science class, so you're not marking me on my writing ability, so wtf kind of answer do you want to get proper marks? Always ended up having to write so much just to cover all my bases and make sure one of the things I wrote is what the teacher just expected me to guess was the right thing to write.
I'm a biochemist, it really took me a while to realize what this question was asking. I was thinking bidirectional/prokaryotic, unidirectional/eukaryotic, and reverse transcription/retroviral, bit of a weird bunch of things to lump together. It's honestly a shit question.
jmeeezy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, it's hard to answer out of context. it was more modeled after the way her textbook was written. she was 13, so it was pretty straightforward. there was literally a paragraph with the heading "Scientists considered these 3 models of DNA replication" with the three in bullet points lol. I think she could've gotten it!
Which is a fair assumption that she'd understand that. But also teaching kids to parrot from a textbook probably isn't the best practice.
Because if the test is catered to the specific way things were learned in class, but the kid had an alternative way they learned or understood that info, they can run into trouble.
I didn't end up going to school in my second half of year 12, and I only did really well in chemistry because the questions weren't relying on me having been in class, they only relied on me having the correct knowledge. And I had a guide of what I needed to know, so I could learn it whichever way I wanted. Since the structure of the classes actually ended up with me being more confused than if I went and taught myself.
I'm an MSc biochemistry student and I thought pretty much the same thing you did at first. I had to sit there for a while until it dawned on me that the question was asking for the three MODELS of DNA replication. Really unclear question.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thinking back, I believe I may have written "three theories/hypotheses" or "three models." it was many years ago, and I just hammered out this reddit post really quickly (didn't expect it to blow up, ha!) the real question most likely wasn't worded exactly as written above.
And then there's the issue of what are you calling "different". Obviously reverse transcription and normal replication are different since they have different templates, but otherwise things are going to get down to semantics (prokaryote vs eukaryote, eukaryote vs vertebrate etc.)
Not to mention that the dispersive and conservative are not types of DNA replication, they were just possible modes that needed to be investigated.
Unless you just did the chapter in the book that talked about Watson and Cricks proposal of the double helix and their three proposed models; conservative, semiconservative, and dispersive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking bidirectional/prokaryotic, unidirectional/eukaryotic, and reverse transcription/retroviral
The question was about DNA replication, making the only two correct answers mitotic or meiotic. Transcription is in no way related to DNA replication, but protein synthesis, and the other two categories you mention are not ones I've ever heard used to distinguish DNA replication types. Were you straining to fit an answer to the oddly worded question?
nitori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're a bit confused here. Reverse transcription is something done by viruses to convert RNA into DNA, and is not related to protein synthesis.
Furthermore, while you may not have heard of it, the difference between prokaryotic and eukaryotic replication is real.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, his answer was so strange right off the bat, I missed the "reverse" in reverse transcription. As for prokaryotic vs. eukaryotic DNA replication, I'm aware that there are differences, but those are beyond the scope of a grade school test, which I presumed it was from the imprecise language of the question.
They are all types of replication, prokaryotes replicate DNA from one site in both directions along the chromosome, hence, bidirectional, eukaryotes have multiple origins of replication that all go in one direction along the chromosome (unidirectional), and retrovirus don't have DNA, they have RNA and special packaged enzymes (this is a polymerase called reverse transcriptase, it's called that because it makes DNA out of RNA, which is essentially reverse transcription) it's still replication though.
Also there's no difference between mitotic and meiotic DNA replication, there's crossing over but both processes use the same enzymes to actually synthesize new DNA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all are ridiculous. Answering what was very obviously a grade school question with advanced answers is dumb. That's why the question confused you.
well dispersive and conservative replication don't actually happen so I wouldn't consider it a type of DNA replication, in any case, you're clearly the dumb one for answering a "grade school" question with an incorrect answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is grade school correct. Know your audience.
Nope, not even grade school correct, there's nothing different about meiotic and mitotic replication, and that's only 2 things. Go learn some grade school bio
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, it is a perfectly acceptable grade school question to ask about the two main types of DNA replication that occurs in eukaryotic cells, with the expected answer being meiosis and mitosis. The two processes are in fact different, as any grade school biology student knows. You're just being autistically retarded about the question's intended audience and purpose because you like being a dick. Go die in a fire.
Lol the question asked for 3 types of replication, what it was asking for was the theee hypothetical models tested with nitrogen isotopes, conservative, dispersive, and semiconsecative, which is the only one that actually occurs, you're retarded because the mitosis and meiosis refer to cell cycle of somatic vs sex cells, they have nothing to do with DNA replication.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:19 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, silly me, I had no idea mitosis and meiosis had NOTHING TO DO with DNA replication. Clearly I'm dealing with a scholar and master of cell biology.
Well I guess now you know, here's a cool picture that hopefully even you will be able to understand, if you look reeeal real close in the middle of the picture, you can see that both meiosis and mitosis begin with the exact same DNA replication step. http://fig.cox.miami.edu/~cmallery/150/mitosis/c13x8meiosis-comparison.jpg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:06 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you don't understand it doesn't make me a moron, sorry I couldn't help, but maybe you could help yourself by not projecting your own ineptitude onto others
I still remember a question from a 7th grade science test.
A millimeter is how many parts of a meter?
My answer: One.
I complained to the teacher about it being marked wrong, and to his credit he asked why I answered the way I did, and then asked how I thought the question should have been worded.
skud8585 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:22:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a question like "which one has the least hydrogen: 1 mol of water, 1 mol of gasoline, 1 mol of carbon dioxide"
The "correct" answer was water. Even though carbon dioxide has NONE. Because "he meant it as which, out of the ones that have hydrogen" which isn't the way it was worded. I took 3 beakers that we had with food coloring from a previous experiment. Made, red, purple, and green in front of him with different amounts of food coloring and asked him which had the "least red" and he said the purple one. WHAT THE FUCK MR HAWKINS.
Hahaha. That's like the time the newspaper ran a little survey about the comics on the comics page, to find out which they should drop to make room for new ones. After I filled out the survey, my dad took a look and asked me about my response to "Which comic is your least favorite?" The one I'd listed was one I liked, he thought, and he wondered why I hadn't listed one of those he knew I detested. I explained that those aren't among my favorites, so I didn't select them as my "least favorite".
I was eight. I guess Mr. Hawkins's dad never taught him that lesson.
Another perspective is that the point of the test would be to find out if the student has the knowledge/understanding of the subject. So if they answer no they would lose points and if they answer yes they should get full credit...
If you assume the student is truthful, your simply asking if they know the answers, this would be such an efficient way to take exams; if the teacher has doubts the student is fibbing then you ask them to prove they "know the correct response", if they stumble they get a zero for the whole test
I've had to change questions on our internal audit sheets after my auditor (but who audits the auditor that audits the auditor!) had me audit him and he answered half my questions with yes or no. I was a bit embarrassed.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, its not like anybody got confused. She could not answer the question, but instead of feeling just bad she had a little chuckle and felt slightly witty.
Edit: he - she
What are you talking about? They're both valid responses. The one in my example is a valid response of defiance. In either case the answer is incorrect, so what does it matter?
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:40:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're wrong though. It's a valid response to the question, and a correct answer to the question if she actually didn't know.
If you ask someone to list three things, and they don't, that's not a valid response and so isn't correct. Choosing not to answer a question and writing "No." to a task worded as an imperative are the same thing.
You can still answer "no" to those. I think something like >My advice would be to forget about questions and simply give tasks.
"What are the three types of DNA replication?" and "Why is this right?" might work.
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could answer "I don't know." to those just just like answering "No." to the "Can you..." questions.
Saying "No." to an imperative statement is clearly not a valid answer, because you didn't do what the words told you to do. It's equivalent to leaving the question blank.
Misledz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life here, coming from an indian school, about 90% of the paper is based off questions like this, the 10% is the part you fill in your name.
I once went into a discussion with a teacher for a question that she thought I answered wrong. I pointed out the question started with "What do you think is the correct answer to... <stuff>" even though my answer might not have been the correct answer to that stuff, I thought it was, therefore I answered correctly.
I was granted the point on the condition that I would never use that argument again because apparently the book was full of them.
I mean, the information the teacher was seeking was clear: he/she wanted to know whether you could name three models of DNA replication. And the teacher got that information out of the student. I don't see the problem. Just because the answer is true doesn't mean that you demonstrated your knowledge of the subject, which is the whole purpose of testing.
Rose94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I learned when I did a short course in child care, the majority of which was about communicating with children.
The number one thing I learned was to never say "Can you" because adults have this stupid thing where "Can you" means "Do it" and we just sort of accept it. But kids don't understand that weird double meaning thing yet. So if you ask a kid "can you help me clean up?" they're gonna not want to do it and think you gave them the option to say no. When you want a kid to do something you just tell them it's time to do it.
einzeln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who writes questions for a living, I agree. I'm sure the lesson was learned!
I had a badly worded question in a university level anatomy and physiology class. I believe the question had been written as something like 'Three methods of breathing' when it was actually meant to be 'Three methods of respiration' which are not necessarily the same thing and it threw everyone in my class off.
I feel like if the student is old enough to be learning about models of DNA replication they're also old enough to know that that's not an appropriate answer.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's true, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a technically valid response to the question.
It was sort of a joke, and I was responding to the edit. The response to the "can you" question means "no I can't." The response to the "please name 3 ..." is non-compliance
It's absolutely a valid response; all you've done is turn the question into a command, and you can easily deny a command. If I tell you "Give me one hundred dollars." and you say "No.", that is a perfectly valid response. Just because it's not as clever doesn't mean it's linguistically incorrect.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're forgetting the context here. I'm not talking about linguistics, and obviously not arguing that it's impossible to say "No" to a command.
We're talking about tasks on exams. Saying "No" to a "Can you..." question is technically correct, and an argument could be made that it deserves full credit. Saying "No" to a command is the same as leaving it blank, which obviously means you get no points.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:22:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's implicit, but a good test question should be explicit about what it wants.
One of my high school teachers would tell a story about the time everyone in one of his university classes got full marks for an exam. The only question was, "write down everything you know about topic." apparently a dude immediately walked out, then challenged his zero mark stating he knew nothing about the topic and therefore did what he was asked. Everyone got full marks because they realised they couldn't actually assess if people wrote down everything they know or not.
Maybe not for your degree, but I've had exams with a single question and the expectation is to write an essay in the 2 hours provided. In these exams, you're also normally able to take in a page of notes. Something which also actually happens.
A test once asked me a question and I had absolutely no fucking clue what the answer was. I just totally blanked on every possible answer, couldn't even come up with a hint of bullshit. So I drew a giraffe and wrote something like "this is the test giraffe, he represents the answer I would have put in if I'd studied". Teacher gave me a point and wrote "please study next time so the test giraffe doesn't have to make an appearance".
I had a friend in high school who did something similar. He took a remedial math class as an election because he liked the teacher. One of the tests had a question worded "illustrate a graph...yadayada"
He illustrated a giraffe.
Edit: Yes I meant elective.
TheFNG ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:52:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think math was the only remedial class your friend should've taken.
He clearly says "took a remedial math class as an election(elective) because he liked the teacher." It's weird to me a school would allow that but it seems to me he was in there entirely by choice.
I was grading a test for the prof and the student didn't know the answer, so she drew a dragon in the answer space. I think the prof said to give her partial credit iirc lol
uitham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like profs are so much more lenient in stuff like this than highschool teachers were lol
In an English my class started something like this. Our teacher was known as "the shark" so one day a kid didnt know the answer and he drew a shark instead. By the next test we were all doing it and the teacher thought it was so hilarious that she gave us full points for them if they were drawn in a particularly witty or artistic way. It was a great year for me as a decent artist.
Same. If it's not multiple choice, I'm not gonna bother guessing. But even more so there is something satisfying about just saying I don't know the answer.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can get at least some points out of that certainly.
"I know that something is something. The answer could then be something or something else, because of something."
Shows that you have some understanding of the conxept, which teachers seem to like.
I can't think of a situation that I have faced where this is applicable. I'm in Drafting. Either its draw this part and calculate that stress, or tell me the name of this jig type or that manufacturing process. Either I remember what something is called or I don't. Pretty black and white.
Could someone enlighten me with a realistic example please?
Could someone enlighten me with a realistic example please?
Ok, suppose the test asks the student to describe the process of mitosis (cell division). The student can't remember all of the steps, but successfully describes the ones they know. They teacher may choose to give them partial credit.
And not every non-singular question is worth more than one point. I see what you are saying, but lets go back to the beginning.
I prefer to write "I don't know" or leave the answer blank if I don't know an answer.
Neepersn says saying "I know that something is something. The answer could then be something or something else, because of something." could get you partial credit at least.
...That's all I got.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:49:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I was thinking along the lines of mitosis, meiosis, and binary fission. What a poorly worded question.
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, yeah it's a pretty random question out of context. but I mentioned it to a few other commenters who brought up the same point: it was modeled in the context of how her textbook answered it. she was 13, so it was a pretty straightforward paragraph.
The answer was correct, and "You should have understood what I meant" is the shittiest thing imaginable you could teach a kid.
jmeeezy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think if she'd gotten all the other answers correct, I would've given it to her. but she spent the rest of the exam drawing angry faces and middle fingers in the blanks so I really couldn't bring myself to give her any points haha.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:32:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nowhere in the real world does being an ignorant smartass give you points. It would be wrong to teach a kid that it does. /u/jmeeezy did the right thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but this is still an academic setting, and not a professional setting where people's lives and/or livelihoods depend upon someone knowing the answer that the situation requires.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to argue for your fault, I'll let you have it.
I'm a software developer. Do you know what kind of software you get when you "assume you know what the user meant" instead of actually verifying it?
The Multistate Bar Exam is a multiple-choice exam that most states use as part of their Bar Exam. It's scored with a scantron scanner, but the software has a routine that will flag a question if a significant number of people give the same "wrong answer." When that happens, they go back into the test and look at the other answer to see if there's an ambiguity that might make it a "correct answer."
If it's ambiguous and confusing, they might just throw the whole question out. If it's ambiguous but clear-cut depending on your mindset when you read it, they'll give credit for the two "correct" answers.
My point is - the answer was absolutely, unequivocally correct. The teacher penalized the student for the teacher's mistake because "she should have known better."
That's certainly not how I taught my children.
jmeeezy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher penalized the student for the teacher's mistake because "she should have known better."
no, I penalized her because she got almost every other question wrong and was obviously not taking the exam seriously. I never said that, so please don't put words in my mouth! or respond in a way that suggests you know any other background about my student and her exam history.
I wrote that after reading your other reply. I still think you missed a pretty good teaching moment.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
true! I also definitely learned to be more careful when wording my questions!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm working in a hotel, and a customer comes to the front desk and asks me, "Do you have a room available?" And say, "No, I have 28 rooms available," or, "Yes, I do. Bye, now!" I don't get points for that.
On the contrary, life is all about understanding ambiguous situations and meanings. Real life interactions and real job problems are only gonna be murkier where you have to guess what the other person/your boss wants
No, it's the realistic thing to teach a kid because that's how the world works. If you have no concept of context and implication, then you will absolutely fail at communication.
It's a biology test, it's bloody obvious that the question wanted you to name 3 types of DNA.
By marking it wrong, the teacher falls into the ranks of "civil servant drones who don't really think for themselves."
If the teacher had marked the question right, but written "I'm giving you credit for this because it's technically correct, but in the future I expect you to ask if you're not sure" then the teacher would have vaulted to the top of the student's esteem and gained some serious traction with her.
But hey - I'm a GenXer - I still believe that teachers should teach how to think instead of just teaching them how to take the state-run tests.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher would have gained traction as a pushover and not taken seriously.Once word got out next test would be everyone grammar checking their Biology test for an easy pass. The only student respecting that type answer is in Kindergarten and having a "omg Mom! Listen to the answer I gave my teacher and it was right!" moment.
But hey - I'm a GenXer - I still believe that teachers should teach how to think instead of just teaching them how to take the state-run tests.
I believe that making weird, small, and inconsistent changes in the system like this just creates a big mess and if we want to fix the problem we need to change the system, not just alter it so it kindofworksabitbettermaybe.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we point out how any point you're going to make will be ignored by starting off with "Tsk. Bad teacher. No cookie." Can I mention "You should have understood what I meant" was nowhere mentioned by the teacher and you just added that to validate your own statement? Finally you're scolding a teacher on her "oppurtunity to teach" without all the facts to the situation. Sounds like a kid drawing middle fingers on the test and snarky responses to questions had too many people in their life on your train of thought and let them get away with this shit all too often. "I'm not answering that question the way it's worded teacher. My dad says understanding intent is a way the machine keeps you down, so fuck the machine!snort" Can't wait to run into your kids in life. Here's a better teachable moment. The kid should have pointed out the ambiguity of the question in a positive manner and earned the points without being a dickhead. Edit: letters
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My tutor at uni told us that once a question escaped through the QA system which included a "can you" question. Several students answered with a yes/no type answer and appealed when the answer was marked as wrong because the instructions on the exam were to answer the questions as written. They won the appeal and a "can you" question never escaped again.
Ehh, the point is to not ask a question to which they can easily give you a negative response that may undermine what you are trying to accomplish. Idk the exact wording I've used, but I have asked "Will you please pick up that pencil?" and received the exact same response.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's the tactic of making them feel like they have power.
Ask them to do you a favor by doing the task. Add in that you think its silly or unnecessary but rules are rules regardless and you can't help them avoid the task.
Yeah, I'm aware of that. Sometimes it is hard to think about the student I am asking, the task they are doing, and framing it in a way that will provoke a desirable response. Considering how often I ask someone something along the lines of "Can you please do this?" outside of school, it can just slip through since it is second nature. I am also fully cognizant of the fact that I am partially responsible when a student openly defies me in a way like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:36 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a biochemist and I can't even do that. Did you mean the three proposed methods?
jmeeezy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha yes, someone brought this up earlier and you both are completely right. I think I may have written "three theories" or "three models"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my doctorate is in chemical biology and I have studied quite a bit of genetics in my day (though admittedly a bit rusty now). Questions like this one are why my college students don't understand anything they need to know from high school. What's the point of testing on historical models that are NOT correct? Dedicate that brain power to a better understanding of the one that IS correct...
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
personally, I think it is pretty important to know what models were proposed. if you don't understand the proposed models, it's harder for you to understand the details of the Messelson-Stahl experiment.
also, it wasn't a very detailed textbook since my student was 13 years old. I didn't ask for an essay about the 3 theories, just the names of them. didn't call for an unreasonable amount of brain power haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I would counter a brief essay about why one is correct over the other two would be MORE useful than simply memorizing the names of three models, only one of which is actually useful.
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're right! I actually remember having that exact essay question on one of my undergrad genetics exams. however, being that she was 13, her textbook was pretty sparse, and the text in question listed almost nothing else besides those 3 hypothesis names - I really couldn't ask for much more detail from her in this particular case.
You're a pharmacy tech that goes to EDM concerts like Coachella
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fact that you think adults with careers and jobs don't have a life with hobbies tells me you're probably 12 years old.
and not that I have to prove myself to a 12 year old, but I'm 26. I graduated from undergrad at 21 and entered pharmacy school at 22. I taught middle school students on the side. sorry if ambition isn't something you're familiar with!
Right...I bet. Calm down kid, enjoy your raves. Your comments and questions as a teacher assistant were so stupid that my head is spinning. The fact you had the audacity to argue with a real doctor...pathetic
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aw, triggered much? it's okay. since you're so obsessed, why don't you troll the rest of my comment history. you'll find all the proof you need that I am a pharmacy student who's completed her degree.
and I will for sure enjoy my raves, thanks! having a career gets stressful (you'll just have to take my word for it, or find out in 15 years or so).
fjodsk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, even I don't three types and I'm going to take AP Bio. Shit. Maybe I should know.
Same, but it was brief review from high school. The three (conservative, semiconservative, and dispersive) were only proposed mechanisms, and all evidence points to semiconservative so its not really that important to know the other models. The Meselson-Stahl experiment is quite interesting in how it helped clarify this.
Yeah I mean, fair. I guess you'd have to assume that you're talking about the three theories of DNA replication right around when Watson and Crick came up with the (correct) semi-conservative model. You'd also have to discount the Meselson-Stahl experiment that disproved all but the semi-conservative model.
This said, the question, as worded, is really confusing because there is only one actual method of DNA replication (given your suggested answer) that actually works. I'd be unable to name three because based purely on this question in isolation, I wouldn't know that you want me to include the theories that were disproven as the other two. I can't name three types of DNA replication because I only know of one way that works.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree with you! but yeah, her text was covering the 3 theories that were proposed before Messelson-Stahl. it was a 9th grade textbook, so it was pretty basic and didn't go into as much detail.
I think from what I remember (it was a while ago), there was pretty much just a heading that said "Scientists considered these 3 theories of how DNA replicates" with the 3 theories in bullet points. and then this picture
That's conservative, semi conservative and disruptive right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My foster puppy pooped 12 times in 12 hours. Half of it being in the middle of the night while I slept. Not in his crate... but in my bedroom that he never is allowed in but I made an except since he was screaming all night in the crate. I found clothes covered in poop...even my window drapes had poop on them. I found his poop spot underneath my living room couch. I let him out once an hour and he just waits at the door then comes in the house and poops. To make it all worse, I don't have any paper towels anymore..it's just TP and rolls of it are going quick. I have a had a tough morning. Thank you for making me laugh out loud at work. :)
vitaq ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"I dont know, CAN you?"
I literally unzipped and peed right there and showed the teacher that i could
5510 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except I'm pretty sure that the above story really didn't happen.
I'm a big believer that people play the "that happened" card way too casually, but I really really doubt the pissing story. Unless maybe they were a very small child.
I did this in a college math course, except I wrote "yes I can (technically a correct answer)" and I got 1/2 credit. Which was good because I didn't know the answer
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah, I explain this in another two comments lol. but yes, you're right! just in the context of the way her text was written, those three were listed. I also believe I may have written "three theories" or "three models."
You're really trying hard to protect this fake internet life you've created. Too bad in real life you're this pathetic loser that has never accomplished anything. Someone who is legit, wouldn't be spending their time screenshoting their post history to prove a Reddit wrong. It's so obvious you're a fake it hurts not to laugh hahahaha
In my mom's history class a couple years ago there were two immigrant students who didn't speak a lick of English. In typically American public school fashion, they were still required to take tests. One of them would just write "I don't know, I'm sorry" in Spanish for every question. =(
Not a teacher, but I remember something I did when I was in grade 2.
The student teacher took us into a private room one by one for eye exams. I've never taken an eye exam before and it wasn't really explained to me what was happening. I was just sat down and asked to read the first line of the chart. Then the second. Then the third. By the time it came to the fourth line I was like "It's too small for me to read, one minute please", then I got up, walked over to the board and started reading the letters. Apparently that's not how you do eye exams.
enad58 ยท 1885 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing happened to me. They took us into a room to "test our eyes" so I left my glasses in the classroom. After a couple lines they recommended glasses. So I went and grabbed them. They looked at me like I was crazy. Hey man, you wanted to test my eyes, not my glasses.
I did the same thing. I had an awful eye doctor who messed up my prescription so for years I could see better without my glasses than with them. The school decided to test us one day and I couldn't see the board out of my really bad eye, let alone any letters. They proceeded to chew me out about not wearing my glasses and wouldn't let me explain. I hated those school nurses.
trf6_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 12:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
School nurses have a hard job. They see a lot of kids, and have to take care of many whose parents just don't care.
That said, they suck.
mohallor ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:27:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the fourth grade I accidentally cut my eye with a pencil. At the time I didn't realize that I had cut it, so I went to the nurse. I told her "I accidentally stabbed a pencil in my eye". She proceeded to give me an ice pack. LPT: Ice Packs do not help cut eyes.
I swear that woman thought an ice pack could cure cancer
So like, when you got your new glasses and realized they made things even worse, you decided to just not say anything about it to your doctor, your parents, your friends or your teachers? For years?
I did. We went back and had them rechecked. I complained constantly because I couldn't see. The doctor insisted they were perfect and our insurance didn't cover any other optometrists within a reasonable distance. After the doctor "double checked" my prescription my mom became convinced I was faking it. I moved several years later and went to a new doctor and they were immediately fixed and told me how he'd messed up my prescription. So no. It wasn't about not hurting the doctor's feelings. It was about being twelve years old and told I was lying when I said I couldn't see, so I gave up.
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 06:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the feel. My mom once took me to see the optometrist when I was around 4 or 5. 20/20 vision. Fast forward to when I was 10, I would tell my mom that I had trouble seeing anything in the distance.
"I've had your eyes checked. They're perfect. You're fine. No one can see that far"
I complained all the time as my vision got worse every year. My freshman year, I would literally sit on the floor inches from the chalkboard to see the notes my history teacher had projected for us to copy. If I sat even 3 feet away, where my desk was, I couldn't read it.
3 months into freshman year, that teacher called my mom to ask why the hell she didn't force me to wear my glasses. She told him my vision was perfect. He laughed at her. She finally took me to get my vision checked. Turns out, I did need glasses.
nervelli ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, really, what's the chance that your body would have changed at all from the time you were four? /s
The visiting nurse who did eye tests at school had to threaten to report my mother to social services to get me glasses - her logic was that since she didn't need them until she was 20, I couldn't need them at 7.
I don't know - but her thing was that her eyes were fine until she was in her 20s, therefore I couldn't have bad eyes in primary school. (You'd think the "We are not the same person" would be obvious, but mother-logic.)
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:43:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:01:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The new doctor I have said that there was something they had to do to the lease because I have an astigmatism and the old doctor was just completely disregarding that fact.
blurio ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same but i was 18 and it was my vision test for my license. The dude went like: Alright, you need glasses! So i got them out and did it again.
How was i supposed to know that you do that shit with your glasses on?
kerune ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to. It just determines if you have to wear glasses while you are driving
Ugh I hated this. I was legally bling without glasses, needed stronger prescription every year. They made me take off my glasses to read the stupid chart. I couldn't even see the E at the top. I may have told them my optometrist is way better than this crappy test but that may be revisionist history.
My daughter's first eye exam was at the pediatrician's office she she was three. It was all shapes, no letters. She correctly identified all except a generic flag, which she identified as a shitbox.
I was scared of 'doing bad' at tests, and as my eyesight was shitty, I had a habit of walking up past the blackboard & reading everything up close before going back to sit down. (lots of pencil sharpening / putting something in the garbage)
I had a slight clue what was going on having heard the end of the test of the other student that went before me. So upon getting in the room, while I was still close to the eye chart, I read it and memorized as much as I could, repeated it back. Another 4 years before anyone believed me saying I couldn't see well & they'd get me glasses.
AceEpocs ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:47:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me with color blindness tests. They didn't tell me what it was for, just to tell them what I saw or to trace the shape in the dots. For years I didn't know that I was colorblind, I just thought I was fucking stupid.
A thing that always mildly concerned me was that in grade school they did the scoliosis tests (look at the curve in your spine) on the students for free. I'm directly in the middle of the alphabet and they had us come in alphabetical order. What ALWAYS happened was that I was supposed to go at the end of Day 1, but they would run out of time and say "We'll call you tomorrow." then they wouldn't call me. If I made sure to say "You didn't get me yesterday." they would insist that they did. So I never got the testing done at school (though it was only when I was older that I realized that the testing was really meant to catch the condition in kids that didn't have regular doctors visits).
Similar thing happened to me. The doctor asked me to read the lines, and I kept saying that I couldn't. When we got to the really big letters he asked if I was sure that I could not read any of the letters. I said that I could read the letters but did not know the words... FYI I have better than 20:15 vision.
I hate eye exams. I always embarrass myself because even with very powerful glasses, I can't read the 3rd line.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had my eyes tested not too long ago. I had my glasses off so I could read off the board like I was supposed to. The doctor came in and turned on the projector and asked what I saw. I looked at the board and said "I didn't even know there was anything on there"
It was a giant E. Big and bold. I couldn't see it because the white fuzzed it out
I teach English to Vietnamese kids. I asked what is the population of Vietnam? The kid quickly surveyed the room and said "More than 15" This guy is going places.
I worked with a Nguyen Nguyen. He said his first name was pronounced differently from his last name. No matter how carefully he said it, no matter how carefully I listened, they sounded the same to me. Twenty years later--and I still wonder if the joke was on me.
pippinto ยท 418 points ยท Posted at 05:30:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhh I'm no expert but I may have your answer. Vietnamese, like Chinese and a few other languages, relies on pitch as an important indicator of meaning, e.g. a word that is pronounced identically in every other way but with the pitch different (moving up instead of down, etc.) might mean something completely different and will sound completely different to those trained to hear it. People who speak languages lacking this particular linguistic feature often have trouble hearing and reproducing it.
Edit: kept referring to tone as pitch. I think the terms are interchangeable but I could be wrong. Also somebody pointed out that it might have been something entirely different.
Alternatively Vietnamese distinguishes between phonemes that are allophones in English. A co-worker who was a native speaker of Hindi could hear distinctions between pairs of consonants that were, so help me, indistinguishable to me as a native speaker of English. My brain's phonemic maps heard them identically, they were inseperable, end of story.
jw88p ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 06:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is an allophone? Here in Quรฉbec is someone who is not natively speaking English or french.
karossii ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 06:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
allophone
any of the speech sounds that represent a single phoneme, such as the aspirated k in kit and the unaspirated k in skit, which are allophones of the phoneme k.
Is the k in "what the fuck did you just say" aspirated or no
karossii ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Aspirated means it is pronounced with an exhalation of your breath. Rarely will you ever have an aspirated phoneme at the end of a word.
ampwyo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhg... The difference between ใ and ใ and between ใท and ใธ in korean is that the latter of each is slightly aspirated... While teaching English in Korea I learned that ๋์ฌ means verb and ๋ฅ์ธ means shit. Trying to talk about verbs with low level students often resulted in giggling.
I thought the aspiration was really the difference between ใ and ใ , ใ and ใ , ใฑ and ใ , etc. The single and double consonates still don't make sense to me.
When japanese guys say 'fuck' it will sound aspirated though.
pHScale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they typically don't end syllables in consonants. That only happens with n and s, so k would require a subtle vowel at the end in order to pronounce. That would put k at the beginning of a suitable, making it more easily aspirated. "Fak-ku" or "Fa-khษ" depending on the thickness of the accent.
Of course, the less thick the accent is, the less this applies.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're pronouncing teapot very precisely.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in some languages there are actually phonemes pronounced on an inhalation. But not many, and that isn't what I meant at all.
A pronounced exhalation is where you put a forceful breath behind the sound. Even if you are exhaling, it is not necessarily a pronounced exhalation.
Also, you can make many sounds without either exhaling or inhaling...
eseern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to explain without talking to you, though I'm sure someone can. But no its not a joke. Like the k in kit you kinda have to breathe to get the sound started while the k in fuck just kind ends the u sound
maqusan ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:57:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See also the difference between the th sounds in "these things". The first is voiced, the second isn't.
I believe the point is that different languages use different minimal pairs - so f.e. in German the /v/ "vine" and /w/ "wine" are NOT a minimal pair, so to most German native speakers the sounds are more or less indistinguishable
nhaines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'v' is the German letter 'fau' and is unvoiced and sounds like English letter F, whereas 'w' is German letter 'vey,' is voiced and sounds like English letter V.
I was talking about the English phonemes. For example u can pronounce "Wasser" with the English phonemes /v/ or /w/ and there is no semantic difference. I am aware that the letter "v" in German as in "Vogel" can used to represent a different phoneme (/f/ in this case). It can also stand for /w/ or /v/ though as in "Variation" or "Division" for example.
maqusan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was unsure tbh, it was just the example I remembered. Someone who's studied more than a single unit of linguistics more recently than 20 years ago would give a better answer.
maaku7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... they are. They are a voiced/voiceless pair, like b/p or d/t.
plmtry ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread has lost me. b/p don't sound the same, neither do d/t. The 'th' in both 'these' and 'things' sound the same, just like it sounds in 'the'
That's not true. Try putting your fingers lightly on your voice box while saying 'these' and 'things' repeatedly, slowly, and out loud. You should feel buzzing during the voiced 'th' of 'these,' and nothing during 'th' in 'things.' We don't use different letters to write these sounds, but it is exactly the same difference as between /d/ and /t/ or /k/ and /g/.
plmtry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I feel like the first guy that couldn't hear the difference in the guys first and last name. I feel like you're playing with me even though I'm pretty sure you're not. But I can't hear or feel any difference in the first part of those words. I feel vibrations when I say either word. I can hear the difference between the e and i in those respective words, but I got nothing different in the th. Maybe I speak the word things incorrectly, lol.
If there's really no difference between the first sounds in 'this' and 'thing,' I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but -- you're saying something wrong. Try 'wreath' and 'breathe,' see if anything's different. The good news is, you've made it this far in life, and the condition isn't terminal.
I don't know half enough about Vietnamese or 'Nguyen' to comment on that particular case, but I do remember from linguistics classes an interesting case that might apply: six-month-old babies can distinguish virtually any sound used in any human language, but they lose the ability to distinguish sound pairs that aren't used in language to which they aren't exposed. Basically, your brain can't hear certain things unless it's your native language. The source is from an academic database at my university I can't get to anymore, but I remember that, and wonder if it has anything to do with cases where someone keeps saying the same thing twice in his/her native language and wondering why you keep saying they're the same.
Trixbix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's really no difference between the first sounds in 'this' and 'thing,' I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but -- you're saying something wrong.
A couple things:
1) Don't be a prescriptivist asshole. It's probably not your intention, but you're getting really close there. There are definitely native speakers who voice all initial "th"s (or at least a lot more than the dictionary says). Unfortunately, all I have is anecdotal evidence of this, but forvo seems to confirm my claim.
2) If you want someone to hear the difference between two sounds, at least give them a minimal pair to work with. What about 'wreath' and 'wreathe'? Or 'teeth' and 'teethe'? For a syllable-initial example, you could use 'ether' and 'either' (assuming that the first vowel in 'either' is /i/).
This discussion actually makes me wonder why some people voice word-initial dental fricatives where a lot of others don't. Is it a regional thing? (Forvo seems to indicate otherwise, but it's hard to tell.) Is it a social thing? Do some people just have shitty hearing? Is the voicing of dental fricatives just less salient either because we have so few minimal pairs that use them or because the difference between voiced and unvoiced is somehow less perceptible (or both)?
Yes, they are different phonemes. First, the phonetic difference -- voicing -- is pretty significant; usually, differences among allophones are subtler things like exactly where the tongue lies or bunches, aspiration, nasalization, or some such.
Second, the most common test for different phonemes is to look for minimal pairs: a pair of words that are pronounced (spelling isn't important) the same except for using these two sounds. If they're homophones, the two sounds are allophones, but if they're recognized as sounding different, you've got two phonemes. For the 'th' sounds, it's not easy to think of, but there is a minimal pair: 'either' (voiced 'th') and 'ether' (unvoiced).
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:00:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a much better example - you can really hear this one easily.
The problem is that they're not allophones, since voiced and unvoiced 'th' are treated in English as separate sounds. It's hard for the untrained ear to hear most allophones, since by definitions they are sounds that people (at least speakers of a certain language) think of as basically the same sound.
The 'r' in 'beer' and in 'bar' aren't quite the same (for most speakers) but English speakers don't notice -- they're both 'r.' But the 'th' sounds in 'these things' are as different as 't' and 'd,' and definitely not allophones in English.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the sh in shush compared to the s in Asia /ส/ vs. /ส/
But we say kit and skit pretty much the same here. ..
Trixbix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a regional thing, or it could be that your brain just thinks of them both as making a "k" sound, so you don't realize that you're saying them differently.
Try saying them both now. Does the "k" in "kit" feel stronger somehow? We call that an aspirated k because in English, we usually pronounce the "k"s at the beginnings of words with a little puff of air. (Some people say that if you put a piece of paper in front of your mouth as you say it, you can see it move, but it doesn't work for me unless I'm really exaggerating.) On the other hand, the "k" in "skit" sounds almost like a "g". Try saying "sgit" and see if it doesn't sound the same as "skit".
If you still have no idea what I'm talking about, I wouldn't worry about it. :P
puff of air. (Some people say that if you put a piece of paper in front of your mouth as you say it, you can see it move, but it doesn't work for me unless I'm really exaggerating.) On the other hand, the "k" in "skit" sounds almost like a "g". Try saying "sgit" and see if it doesn't sound the same as "skit".
Huh.. I can actually kinda see where your going and again (possibly because I have a blend of irish and english accents with a touch of american) they sound reallllly similar but I can kinda feel a minute difference in mouth movement but all of the k/git/kit are said with breath going out not in so... super close sounding all the time :)
I'd be happy to hop onto discord sometime and demonstrate :P And while I dont have a huge formal understanding of the subject it does have some general interest for me.
A phoneme is a linguistic term for sound used in language. Like something that would have its own character in the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA). Allophones are different ways to make the same sound. You're talking about using the suffix "phone" to mean "speaker of", which we also do here in USA. We say francophone to mean someone who speaks French.
For example, l and r are different letters to us but indistinguishable to speakers of certain Asian languages: they're distinct letters to us but allophones to them.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:09:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once visited a Chinese family. The father was explaining accent differences between Mandarin speakers in different parts of the country, and he mentioned that in the north, some people say "v" instead of "w" in certain words. The mother said, "What?" several times as both I and the husband tried repeating ourselves.
She couldn't hear the difference between v and w.
o-toon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:52 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've tested this out with my northeastern chinese family on multiple occasions, and it's true; they couldn't distinguish between the v and w sounds. when i pressed them for more detail, they could only point out differences in volume between the two words i'd spoken.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The aforementioned accent (with the v's) is in fact how I talk in Mandarin as well. But of course, as a native Anglophone, I have no problem distinguishing those two sounds. I could pronounce everything with w if I tried, but it would just feel wrong.
gordie44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is indeed the reason. [ลสทฤฉษล] is the Vietnamese pronunciation, [wษชn] is "win" in English. [ลสท] would sound very much like [w] to us and [ฤฉษ] sounds sort of like [ษช]
The trick is to use the "environmental processing" part of the brain instead of the "language processing" part.
Don't think of the sound the guy is making is a word, think of it as just some noise and don't try and "mentally spell" it, just hear the sound and don't attempt to process it.
It's kinda hard to do, but it's really handy for short-circuiting that annoying habit your brain has of trying to basically auto-tune what it thinks is language into known phonemes. Source: wife is Hungarian, and it's the only way I can distinguish some words (Hungarian has tons of almost-homophones that are painfully difficult to tell apart for non-speakers).
A similar trick, for articulation rather than comprehension, is to learn a little phonetics. Understanding the mechanics of how people make sounds can help you pronounce sounds outside your native language, because you can control sound by physical processing instead of language processing. For example, easier to make a glottal stop on purpose if you know where the glottis is and what a stop is.
You say that, but I still can't get the hang of the voiced palatial stop/affricate hybrid "gy" the Huns use... But they think it's adorable, so I've got that going for me, I guess.
It's actually probably not about the tone and more that it actually is phonetically different. [ลสทฤฉษล] is the Southern Vietnamese pronunciation of Nguyen, which is different from "win" in English which is approximately [wษชn]
It's not spelled Nguyen for no reason :) But no words in English start with [ล] (known as 'ng' in English) so we can have a lot of trouble hearing that, especially if it's rounded as in [ลสท] so it sounds more like a 'w'.
Finally, the vowel is actually a dipthong, not [ษช] but [ฤฉษ]. They sound very similar to English speakers but would sound weird to a Vietnamese speaker.
So it's not actually pronounced 'win', it just sounds like that to us.
My husband is from Vietnam (south) and pronounces the name as "wing" in English. You sound like you know what you're talking about, is there a reason why he might approximate it this way instead of "win?" Is "wing" closer?
Trixbix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but maybe I can help you out a bit.
[ลสทฤฉษล] is the Southern Vietnamese pronunciation of Nguyen
That 'ล' symbol at the end of the phonological transcription makes the sound we spell "ng" in English. So the Southern Vietnamese pronunciation of "Nguyen" ends in the same sound as "wing" in English.
The only difference in sounds between having the name Nguyen would be from tone. Vietnamese orthography has little room for ambiguity, and it wouldn't make sense to pronounce a name in two totally different dialects.
There actually is a phonetic difference between the dialects: [ลสทวหษn] in Northern vs. [ลสทฤฉษล] in Southern. I think the glottalization is considered part of the tone in Vietnamese but it's not really linguistically accurate.
But anyway, that wasn't even the issue: we're talking about the difference between how English speakers perceive and pronounce the name Nguyen and how it is pronounced in Vietnamese.
I didn't dispute any of that. I disputed the fact that there would be a difference between the two nguyens in the name "Nguyen Nguyen". the only possible difference possible is through tone, because people do not have a name with two different dialects (why in the world would your first name be in Northern and your surname be in Southern), and Vietnamese orthography does not leave room for any ambiguous sounds, unlike English where many letters can represent a number of different sounds.
Your point about how English speakers can't really hear Vietnamese sounds properly and hear "win" is irrelevant when the discussion involved two instances of "Nguyen" that were pronounced differently. They would both be pronounced as either [ลสทวหษn] or [ลสทฤฉษล] (or one of the other dialect's realisations, such as Central).
Also yes, the glottal stop is considered an integral part of the 5th tone. In Southern Vietnamese, the 4th and 5th tones are identical because the Southern dialect hasn't got the glottal stop.
Interestingly, native speakers of tonal languages are more likely to have perfect pitch than speakers of non-tonal languages. I'm not sure whether having perfect pitch would also be an advantage for a non-native speaker learning a tonal language.
Trixbix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think being musical in general helps. The one non-native Mandarin speaker I know who gets the tones exactly right is a musician and has been doing music his entire life. When I try to teach people how to do tones, it helps if I can relate it to music.
I don't see how having perfect pitch specifically would help people learn tonal languages, as the tones aren't pronounced at exactly the same pitch every time. It changes depending on a bunch of different things (e.g., emotional state, position in a sentence, social stuff, etc.)
on the other hand my dad has a foreign name and he pulls this joke on people all the time. "so your name is pronounced [correct pronunciation]?" "no its [exact same correct pronunciation]" and so on, he likes to see how long he can get away with it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the word you're looking for us accent rather than pitch.
GJgeita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In music a tone is composed of pitch, timbre, volume and length.
The pitch is the frequency. To use a keyboard as an example, going to the right would mean higher frequency / higher pitch. The tone you play on the keyboard would also be dependent on how hard / quick you press, how long you hold the tangent and settings for timbre.
Tone also refers to pitch or notes or note widths ... it's a word that does not have a singular meaning in music. Tone can refer to pitch and can replace the word pitch, but pitch cannot often replace the word tone.
GJgeita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:39:06 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, in the same sense that some people call a brake pedal "the brake" or the abdomen for "stomach". Ie, everyday usages that are not actually correct.
No. Not in that sense at all. Ever heard of twelve tone equal temperment? Or mediantone temperment? Ever heard of a whole tone or semitone interval width? How about the whole tone scale? Heard of a leading tone?
None of these things are referring to timbre, and refer to the relative pitch differences between notes.
Edit: the verbiage concerning tonality all floats around the same concepts as well. The tonic and subtonic notes don't refer to the timbre of an instrument, but rather the fundamental frequencies to be played by an instrument relative to the root of the key.
GJgeita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unclear as to why you think any of those things contradict anything I have said.
Tone is a broader term than pitch, that some use it interchangeably doesn't mean it is correct. Some use tone to only describe timbre as well, which is not correct either.
Because that is a completely false statement with respect to using tone related to the pitch in any and every example I gave. Words, even in the context of a single discipline, can have multiple, correct meanings. Twelve tone equal temperament or the whole tone scale or a semitone interval isn't even close to an incorrect usage of the word tone and it's not even close to a colloquial usage, in the sense of tone being the pitch. They're all explicit, well defined usages in the musical sense, and they're all instances of one correct way to use the word "tone."
In no sense is the word "subsemitone" an "everyday usage that is not actually correct."
Tone is a broader term than pitch, that some use it interchangeably doesn't mean it is correct.
No, they are correct. Tone has multiple meanings in the context of music.
As a musician, the terms are not interchangeable. Pitch refers to the frequency of the sound wave, how high or low a note is. Tone refers to the nature of the super and subharmonics of a note and is synonymous with timbre. If two instruments play the same note, say an A at 440hz, they have the same pitch but you can tell that one is a piano while the other is a trumpet because of their distinct tones or timbres.
You're being pedantically wrong. Tone has multiple meanings in music. This is why we have the "twelve tone serialism" where tone refers to individual notes. This is why the whole tone scale refers to equal intervals widths of whole steps (and whole steps are called whole tones and half steps are called semitones). Pure tone is a sinusidol waveform that has no overtones or additional harmonics defined by a single frequency. A reference tone is a pure tone at a specific reference frequency. Leading notes are also called leading tones (or subsemitones). That's why we have twelve tone equal temperment or meantone temperment. These are all irrespective of instrument, and thus timbre, and usually irrespective of duration, dynamics, etc.
Tone absolutely can be used interchangeably with pitch, but pitch can far less often be used interchangeably with tone.
I was talking about linguistics where tone and pitch have different meanings than they do in music. I thought the context of the conversation would have made that clear.
There's two dipthongs (two vowels in a row) in Korean that I struggled to learn for a while. Supposedly one sounds like "ey" (ใ ) and the other sounds like "ey", but a little softer (ใ ).
I spent over six months trying to master the difference and am completely bewildered that anyone can distinguish it when spoken at full blast.
I sometimes wonder if my teachers just wanted me to have a nervous breakdown.
After your brain loses its plasticity in late childhood, it becomes difficult to hear new sounds. One trick is to study enough phonetics to know how people make sounds. If you learn about what your mouth does mechanically, how we physically articulate sounds, it becomes easier to consciously control your speech, so that you can make and hear sounds that are outside the phonetics of your native language. But yep--in practicality, the best thing is to give up and go eat that guppy salad stuff you can get in Korean restaurants.
This is one of the few issues I've seen native English speakers struggle with while learning Korean that I never really got because ใ is like eh and ใ is like ae. They're close but to me (native English speaker myself) not that close. There are other struggles I've seen that make more sense to me or I've fallen victim to myself but this one I never really got.
I'm confused. I've never heard Korean spoken in real life, nor have I ever studied an Asian language. I'm a native speaker of a Slavic language. I looked up those two just now and they sound completely different to me. Strange.
Apparently after around age 5 you stop being able to hear the difference in some sounds. Something to do with how your brain interprets language. It's like, you haven't heard these noises so far, you probably won't need em.
Yes--and it's a good thing. The first time people hear about this, they morn losing their ability to learn a new language without an accent. Which is true. On the other hand, hard-wiring the sounds of your native language makes it almost impossible to forget your native language (dementia aside).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Few things are absolutely true for all people. During the time that you learn a native language, the neurons in your brain form connections that encode a kind of map of the sounds that occur in your language. You use that map to classify the variable sounds you hear into the specific sounds that distinguish between words in your language. Later, the plasticity that lets you form the map is reduced or lost. All of this is probably an adaption that allows children to spontaneously learn a language that becomes a durable part of their lives.
A side effect is that, when you pronounce a foreign language, your map influences the exact sounds you make, which often differ a bit from similar sounds in the foreign language. Native speakers of the foreign language hear these subtle differences as your accent (or anyway one element of it). Maybe the vocabulary and grammar of a native language are less persistent than the fundamental underlying sounds mapped into the brain.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, no yes/no! I suspect (don't know) that different aspects of a native language fade from disuse at different rates, and that people differ in just what happens. So native language is very durable by "design"--a Very Good Thing!--but not always absolutely durable. For a different example, bilingual people who become demented often lose adult-acquired languages--kind of the opposite of what you're describing.
I've seen it happen to plenty of people, but the fact of the matter is that anything can be "forgotten" without any regular use, and if they began "relearning" their native tongue it would almost certainly return to them very easily.
Vietnamese uses speed and spacing like we use vowel changes and syllable emphasis. He was very likely pronouncing it two different ways, just not to your ear.
There is a difference. It's very subtle, but it's there. I had a similar conversation when I first started learning Vietnamese.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess not... we can actually pronounce Nguyen in 6 different ways, only 2 or 3 of those can be picked as names though, the rest sound stupid and meaningless. Source: I'm a Nguyen too.
This is because accent isn't due to pronunciation, it's due to how you hear sounds. There's a large range of "sounds which sound like this", and when you're a baby you can hear every different sound. You quickly learn where to split up the sounds though. So for example, R and L are basically 2 ends of the same spectrum of the R-L sound. English people split this spectrum in the middle. Everything to the left of the middle, we hear as "R" and everything to the right we hear as "L". Japanese people never make a distinction. They hear all of the sounds in that spectrum as being kind of halfway between R and L. A similar thing may be happening here. Vietnamese people may learn a distinction between 2 different "G" sounds, whereas English people make no distinction and everything on the G spectrum just sounds like G to us. He may have been saying the G differently, but you were just hearing the same sound.
Depending on the accent, the same spelling of a word can sound or mean 2 completely different things.
https://youtu.be/N3KY7BkWvMQ This is a funny video describing vietnamese accents
My brother in law's friends name is Nguyen Nguyen. We just call him Rabbit cause he hates his name. Was really funny when we were getting official names for save the dates, I debated on just addressing it Rabbit instead.
I reckon his first name was Nguyรจn and his last name was Nguแปนen.
The Vietnamese language is fucking insane. In English we change our tone to make a question, express surprise, bafflement ... in Vietnam they change the tone and the entire fucking word changes.
HotTyre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was. He made a Reddit post about it a little while ago.
I remembered a psychology lecture in my first year about languages, the Korean-Canadian professor spoke two Korean words with supposedly two different pronunciation, that no one can tell the difference.
Guys, the answer is that the first name has a different tone to the last name. The last name has the split level tone (dau nga) - I can't write the diacritics on here. The other one has no tone. The last name is pronounced like Ngw-e-n and the other one is like nyuen. If that makes sense. My wife is Vietnamese. And her sisters kid is Nguyen Nguyen. :-)
edit: pronunciation is kinda like 'win',but the 'ng' is the same as the 'ng' in ring which takes some practice. Here in Vietnam the trick is the tone to differentiate them. Very tricky to learn, but there are five!
"There are ten of us, all of family Zathras. Each one named Zathras. Slight differences in how you pronounce Zathras... Zathras... Zathras. You are seeing now?"
sassdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally pronounce it noo-win. Most American Vietnamese people I know pronounce it this way. Immigrants will pronounce it as ngoo-wee-in. Vietnamese people not surrounded by a dense Vietnamese population will call it win.
In the end, it's all going to be us Vietnamese people's efforts to dumbing it down and saying it wrong for non-vietnamese people to understand.
He didn't make that shirt. It's widely available. I live in an area with a massive Asian population and have seen that shirt multiple times. Don't believe that man!
You could ask 10 different Vietnamese people and get 10 acceptable answers. Most common I hear are "Noowin" and "Nwin", so this is probably supposed to be a "winning" pun
it's probably nothing. Lots of people have identical family names while being as unrelated as 2 people possibly can be. For example Smith was the go to for when an immigrants name was too complicated for the american immigration officer to deal with back in the day. For another example when Korea made everybody record family names they all basically picked from a couple of them so there are tons of Kims who aren't related.
I don't know for sure but I'd not be surprised to learn Nguyen has a similar history.
Some time ago in Vietnam it was tradition to change your family name to that of the person who had most recently conquered Vietnam (or taken over as ruler - not sure it had to be an actual conquering) in order to show loyalty. I think the last guy to rule before the tradition fell away was named Nguyen, which is why the name is so prevalent.
Since this is all second-hand knowledge that I didn't personally research I'm not going to make any claims toward its accuracy, but I think it's a neat backstory.
Where I grew up (near a naval base in CA), it was usually pronounced "noo-yen" but I assume that's just because it was easier for everyone else. I went to school with a girl named Happy Nguyen and because of how it was pronounced in the area, kids would tease her by calling her Happy New Year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ng : Nig
Uye : Ooh yeah
N : Hen
Nigooyeahen
Assuming you're white: They'll look at you funny and assume you just don't know any better, which, many don't.
But the Nguyen I knew once upon a time told me it was "Yooen" or "Yuenn" where the Y is a mix of a "kn" sound (know, knit) and a "y" sound. (foreign sound to the English language so it doesn't roll off the tongue naturally)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:31 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the word sing? The Ng in Nguyen is pronounced similarly.
Try saying Sing-yu-en. Remove the Si and you've got Nguyen.
(I'm not Vietnamese, but this is how my Vietnamese friends taught me how to pronounce their names right)
As a native Vietnamese speaker, it took me a while to understand the pun. It's pronounced more like a "ween" then a "win." Like "pengween" without the "pe."
rbk41 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:29:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SOwED ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually surprised enough people know how to pronounce Nguyen for this comment to have been so successful.
4kiraL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Nguyen and I didn't get this joke at all. They probably pronounce it in a wrong way. The only thing that is similar regarding the pronounciation is that there is an 'n' at the end.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the way they pronounce it is pretty much "wen." It's not exactly correct but better than the "na-gu-yen" that some people say.
tI-_-tI ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
tI-_-tI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyening!!
dortuh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish I had gold for this one.
brover94 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 03:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English for a week in Cambodia. Those little shits were 10x smarter than me or most of my friends who are engineers. I was continually amazing by their level of troubleshooting and desire to learn. Crazy kids. Love em.
How much does something like this pay? I kinda hate my job even though it pays for me to have a very comfortable life. I always wonder if teaching would be more rewarding, but I don't want to move to a foreign country and have to worry about paying bills and having enough to live
They set up a hand pump system to carry water 200 feet to their schoolhouse and up into it.
lKaosll ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:20:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in Korea and on Tuesday we were playing a BINGO like game where the class goes "Where are you from?" then the person who is at the front draws a card and says "I am from <country on card>". Then they rotate out. The way my school works is the special needs kids are still in class but they have their own separate helper that's supposed to explain things to them since I'm not fluent enough in Korean. Apparently she didn't explain well enough, because when the student with A.D.D. went to the front and the class asked "Where are you from?" He stood there looking dumbfounded for a second, thinks for a minute, then goes "Yeogi" (here).
If Rick and Morty were a comedian, it would be one with long setups to their jokes. As opposed to someone with one liners. If you take only little bits of the routine it feels weaker, but if you watch the whole thing it ties it all together.
That clip in particular is pretty deep-seeded into the plot, and it's supposed to feel "off" because, without giving too much away, things are off in that clip.
It's kind of like Archer or South Park in that the jokes tend to all build off each other and it ends up with a stream of consciousness feel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why their pupils are weird? Lol i couldn't watch it if their pupils are like that throughout the show
I mean, it's pretty evident that the show is supposed to be a comedy with the absurdist humor in the clip. You may not personally find it funny, but I honestly can't think of a more pretentious way you could have asked that question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a genius Morty! Now tell us about that Concentrated Dark Matter!
edxzxz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't the correct answer actually be 'whatever it was, it's at least 15 less than that now'?
co99950 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It reminds me of the trailer for crashlands where the guy says "over 27 crafting recipes" and then text pops up on the screen that says 468+ crafting recipes.
I was subbing recently for a geography class (so this wasn't even on topic but is now the most awkward question I've been asked) when I was asked by a fifteen year old boy "Miss... what causes morning wood?" To which I replied "blood." He was shocked that I knew what morning wood was (I'm 32).
My boss is the manager of a produce department. The look on his face when he found out there was a machine for dispensing sanitizer attached to the sink, which has been there in the same spot for at least 8 years...
This is true. I'm a butcher and I wash my hands many times in a shift but I hardly ever sanitize my hands. It's just not needed.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:54:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ninjapro ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:59:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually, yeah. But if you're over sanitizing several times a day habitually, that "eventually" never comes
Excal2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, girlfriend's hands are still ruined from years of working the deli at Target. 5 years there, 4 years separated from that job, her hands are still a damn mess. They crack in the winter and what not even with copious lotion and whatever else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a a gas station (for one more week, two job offers today whadup) and WAY overuse hand sanitizer. I've managed to not have anything more than mild 2 day cold in the last two years as a result. Co-workers get every bug in town because they don't sanitize after helping customers. You can tell who's sick and who you need to disinfect after, and it's worth it.
Bacteria won't develop resistance to alcohol based hand sanitizers
taberius ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:11:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also the problem that sanitzers kill somewhere between 99% and 99.9% of bacteria (when used properly) which means the remaining bacteria reproduce to become resistant to them and eventually cause an infestation of immunized bacteria to emerge. Soap is usually better (barring medical or surgical practices) because it attracts the dirt and grime that bacteria live on and removes them from your skin. The problem with the hyper sanitation that we have in developed countries is that it eliminates exposure to germs from an early age so our bodies are not prepared to fight infections when they do reach us.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:12:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The resistance thing doesn't happen with alcohol based sanitizers. It does with something like triclosan. Just a difference in the way it kills bacteria
You might want yo recheck that information. The bacterias becoming resistant to something occurs when the said antiseptic works in such a way that it breaks down the nucleus or tries to alter the genome of the bacteria. Hand sanitizers are basically just bludgeoning bacteria to hell. So even if there are some that remain they do not become resistant. This is for the normal sanitizers that we use. Might be a different case for sanitizers used at hospitals for cleaning surgical equipment and stuff.
taberius ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original bacteria do not become resistant but when one continually uses sanitizer, through rapid natural selection it will breed bacteria that are immune to that sanitizer.
Everything but the first statement is true. The main ingredient in hand sanitzer is alcohol, which is next to impossible for a bacteria develop a resistant too. This is because alcohol denatures vital proteins that in turn breaks down the cell membrane of the bacterium. The real reason why is stated as 99.9% is because in the rules of probability you will not be able to kill all bacteria in a set area without perfect conditions. A sanitizer by definition is too bring the level of harmful bacteria to "safe levels".
The big problem with hand sanitizers is that they don't have any benefit. Outside of a clinical setting, numerous studies have failed to show that they contribute to any increase in health.
If they actually prevented people from getting sick, there might be a reason to use them, but they don't.
Hand sanitizers have their place. I carry a bottle when out for when bathrooms are out of soap or I'm somewhere where I don't have easy access to a bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't understand that what I said was wrong if no one tells me this. This is an example. I already got 3-4 other responses that explained the problem now though.
EDIT: At the least, this has at least made me realize that adage that I can't currently remember the name of holds some truth. If you want to get the right answer, don't even bother asking the question. Just say something wrong and you'll get corrected really quickly..
I mean, I have no problem with that. I don't like sanitizer myself unless I have no other option (I'd much rather wash my hands), but both is fine too.
Hospital worker here:
Hand sanitisation (I'm assuming you're referring to the alcohol/antibacterial gel that you rub into your hands and it dries without the need for water) is actually far more hygienic than soap+water, as it actually kills any bacteria/germs/etc. Soap doesn't contain any bacteriocidal properties, so at most it can move the germs off your hands and down the drain. Unless you're actually washing out each individual pore, it's not gonna get everything. Alcohol/Antibacterial gel will.
Unless there is visible crud on your hands, of course, then absolutely wash with soap and water, becuase you need to remove it.
Kinda like how toothpaste doesn't inherently reduce mouth bacteria, it's just an abrasive paste to get the crud that houses the bacteria off the teeth, giving them less opportunity to flourish.
edit: just had the thought that it's possible that hand sanitisers used in food service, etc, might not be as proficient in killing bacteria as hospital grade stuff...so...ymmv?
Restaurant inspector here. Sanitizing by itself in restaurants is ineffective because of the naturally greasy and oily environment. Foods have their own fats and oils, so soap and warm water are needed to break down those oils and like you said, help flush them away. Sanitizer by itself isn't great at breaking fats and oils down, so they aren't actually killed due to the protection offered.
p.s. This is a slightly oversimplified explanation of why hand washing is important in restaurants.
Ah see, there you go - different uses for different situations.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:48 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked in a dish-washing room, there are TONS of weird tricks about getting stuff clean (dump the leftover coffee into the baked-on chili pot, and the expired lemons into the coffee pot to scrub off any charred remnants. Also some of the chemicals are pure magic; what I wouldn't give for a gallon of good ol' purple degreaser for my home kitchen!
I mean, it is probably just as efficient - but assuming it's still soap and therefore a fat emulsifier, you're still removing your natural oils from your skin whenever you wash them - meaning there is less of a barrier between you and bacteria,etc.
That's the other benefit of the gels - they don't dry your hands out because they don't remove your natural oils. Intact oils means less chance of dry,cracked skin - less dry, cracked skin means less chance of catching, carrying, and transferring infection.
I mean, in reality, as long as you're not handling multiple meats between hand washes (cross contamination), and keeping your hands free of gunk, either soap or gels are just as good as each other in a day-to-day context. It only really becomes a problem when there's the potential of catching or transferring diseases to those in a healthcare setting who might have a compromised immune system or something really nasty that will overcome a healthy immune system. Apologies for spelling/ formatting - on my phone
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:08 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the alcohol dries your skin out like crazy. I know teenagers who compulsively use gels and their hands look like they're seventy. D:
Key word there is 'compulsively' - my hospital has moisturiser dispensers next to every alcohol gel dispenser and handwash basin for exactly that reason - because we have to clean our hands over 100 times a day as per health and safety recommendations, before and after seeing every single patient. Cleaning your hands with anything that often is going to wreck your skin, but alcohol gels will wreck it less, hence their promotion in a healthcare setting.
If they were washing their hands with soap and water as often as they were gelling, their skin would be even worse - moisturiser is your friend. And they really don't need to be cleaning their hands that often full stop; our skin naturally has heaps of health promoting bacteria all over it - referred to as 'native' flora (as in, it's supposed to be there) as opposed to foreign flora (as in, not supposed to be there, bacteria that will make you sick), and removing all that native flora frequently is also really bad for your skin - in healthcare workers' case, we're much more likely to encounter foreign sickness-producing flora than most professions, so there's more benefit to destroying that (and unfortunately our native flora) than there is to keeping our native flora.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:04 on June 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! But they're germophobes. I wash my hands before I handle food/eat, after I go to the bathroom, or if they're visibly/tangibly dirty, and that's about it. I also try to explain to friends that no, they shouldn't shower every day and scrub every inch of themselves with the same strong chemicals, and if you have a vagina, you really oughtn't be douching it... !
I believe some people use sanitizer just to clean their hands before they hold their junk. I'm not tryna give myself a burn, so I'll stick to soap and water though
You still don't dump mop water anywhere near floating lettuce. Even with a split sink that's so many points off your inspection. You're looking at a "C" in the window at best.
5bi5 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a franchise Subway. The mop sink was broken when I started there. We used the same sink for mop water, washing dishes, AND rinsing veggies. (Not that many of my coworkers were interested in that.)
[I have food safety certifications. I tried telling my boss this was not a good thing. He didn't care.]
After a few years I was working one day during a health inspection. The inspector noticed that we had a large pan over the mop sink and had stacked boxes on it. "Is that your mop sink?" she asked me.
This was my time to shine. I gave her my biggest smile and said, "No, that sink doesn't work. We use this." And slapped the side of the dish sink.
We had a new mop sink the very next day, and my boss was pissed at me.
I can tell gross/stupid/illegal stories about this place for hours, btw.
5bi5 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:17:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2 best stories. The first is "Owner Feeds Customer Moldy Bread."
Subway used to have english muffin breakfast sandwiches. They were not popular and the muffins would sit around for days or weeks between orders. One morning I'm working breakfast alone and we get a small rush of about 6 people. The owner was there (we didn't have a manager, just the owner coming in once or twice a day for an hour or so) doing whatever he did at his desk, so he came up to help me on the line.
Some of the customers were construction workers. 1/2 way thru the line there is this disgusting, putrid smell permeating the entire store. I'm all "damn one of these guys need a shower." the smell left with the customers. Owner left to visit one of the other stores (he owns 3).
After he left I get a phone call. Customer says his sandwich is moldy. He ordered the english muffin. I go and grab the bag of muffins--they are so moldy they are disintegrating from the pressure of my fingertips holding the bag. They are red, green, grey, and the smell--I almost threw up when I opened it. (It was the smell from earlier.) There is no way the owner could have missed the condition of this bread while making the sandwich.
I said, "I am very sorry sir. You need to report this to corporate because the owner made your sandwich." He came in and I gave him a refund and a dozen cookies. "Please take these--I swear I made them fresh just for you--what happened was terrible and its the least I can do."
Owner comes back in. I explain what happened and shove the smelly bag of muffins under his nose and force him to take a good strong whiff. "You fed this shit to a customer. What the hell is wrong with you? You could get sued for this!"
His response? "Okay, okay, jeez, I feel bad enough already." I continued to berate him until he left. (I did not get in trouble for this--I never got into real trouble for anything I said or did, and I said a a lot of things.)
That customer was a regular. He came in a few times a week. Never saw him again. Obviously. If he did call corporate I didn't hear about it.
**
My other favorite is the day I quit. After 4 years of hell (my husband was unemployed for a chunk of time so I couldnt risk changing jobs) I was at my wits end. Every day I would be sobbing in the cooler or throwing and breaking things in frustration. I'm an extreme introvert with anxiety issues, so working the line was always the worst. By the end I was literally crying in front of the customers while I made their sandwiches.
One customer complained about my "poor attitude" and the owner got on my ass about it. I explained to him how miserable I was. He said to me, "You need to learn to accept your place in life."
Yeah. Accept my place at his shitty dirty Subway with no health insurance, sick time, vacation or anything.
I was working with only 1 other person that day, and she was 8 months pregnant. She was supposed to leave at 3 pm and my replacement wasn't due in until 5, so I was going to be alone for 2 hours. My fury had been growing all day, and I knew I wasn't going to make it. I told her "Get out now. You don't wanna be here when what's going down goes down."
So she leaves. I'm the only person in the store. I call my husband to come pick me up and I leave, locking the door behind me. (Once a former employee walked out at 7 am, bread in the oven, door unlocked, so this was damn responsible of me.) I text my boss and tell him that I quit and his store is empty.
He calls me while I'm still in the parking lot and begs me to go back. I told him to fuck off.
TL;DR: just spent twenty minutes writing and proofreading this post. Go read the damn thing.
Great stories, worth the read. Good on you for getting away from that toxic business. No matter how hard you try, you can't stop an owner from ruining their business with indifference.
5bi5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I quit the store was only making about $600 a day. Dude was bleeding money. It was hilarious.
SJ_RED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet TL;DR.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a Subway once.
"Sandwich Artist" picked her nose with her glove, then continued making a sandwich.
Other "Sandwich Artist" was playing with her phone with gloves on waiting for bread to toast.
I turned right around and left. Never went back.
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please do. I love hearing about dumb health code violations :') p.s. ex food service worker
5bi5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a long reply to someone else asking for more, but here's another good one:
Our hot water heater was so small filling up the sink once was enough to deplete the hot water for a few hours. This alone was against code.
The hot water tank was located in the ceiling over the employee restroom. One day it began to leak. After a few weeks the ceiling fell down. After a few more weeks we had water POURING OUT OF THE LIGHT FIXTURE. A few weeks after that he put in a new water tank. (No, i didn't report it. I wanted the damn place to burn down. I just avoided the bathroom.)
About a month after that the health department finally realizes we never have hot water and makes him replace the tank he just had installed with a larger one. The old new tank sat in the corner of the bathroom and was still there when I rage-quit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:24:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well thats the funny thing about being poor and needing a job.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a strip club when I was 18. So many guys were going into the bathroom and not washing their hands that one night the bathroom attendant went to the dj and had him announce that "Everyone needs to wash their hands like big boys.."
Every real kitchen I've worked in did not use hand sanitizer because it's going to transfer from your hands onto the food. I'm guessing you used gloves so that point is kind of moot but sanitizer is not required for food handing.
I worked at Dunkin Donuts, we just used soap and water for washing our hands. Even before putting gloves on because you have to touch the gloves to put them on. That might've just been the store I worked at though.
A) Produce department
B) I'm not talking about a bathroom sink or hand sanitizer, I'm talking about the department sink and company issued sanitizer. It's part of our operations to use it every day.
I understand that, I was just saying hand sanitizer is frowned upon in food handling (or at least should be more widely) because it can transfer to the food. Proper hand washing with soap is enough. I'm guessing you wore gloves so it's moot, but proper hand washing with bare hands is still more sanitary than gloves anyways.
Let's just say if you don't live in Canada you don't have to worry about it, and if you do you can use these guys to figure out the initials: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffen-SS
I know right, I mean if you spent 20 min taking a dump you should be able to spend 2 more cleaning your hands. I know this guy at work and one thing is for sure, NEVER touch his keyboard or phone.
Story time:
I'm in the can doing my thing when he goes into the stall next to me, i know this cause you can hear his footsteps. 1 min later i hear the loudest bloop sound of shit hitting the water i have ever heard in my life, a second later he gets a phone call and starts talking on the phone while releasing the missiles down. Then whips his ass (still on the phone) and just walks away. I can never look him in the eye ever again...
But often there is one push then a pull, what if I hit someone there? What about hitting someone leaving the bathroom as you enter?
ashkul ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have a business to attend to quickly. They get priority!
Xervicx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:33:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the food industry, someone not washing their hands after they use the bathroom is the least disgusting thing that goes into food preparation. Soda nozzles typically aren't cleaned as often as they should. Food that is dropped won't always be thrown away. Sneezes and coughs aren't always covered. Hair nets are for looks, not for function (as in, no one in the back wears them). Bug spray will be sprayed where it will settle on clean dishes, that are used for serving food the next day. There are many more things to worry about as well, and they change depending on the place, but there are almost always a combination of the things on this list, and much much more that you won't expect until you've worked there for a few weeks.
I worked in a laboratory for a meat works, after seeing the bug counts, I spent the next 10 years going 'don't think about it... don't think about it' every time I ate. Every time.
Not to mention no sick days and your boss actively making you work even while vomiting! Or the ice bins that mold cause they never get washed. Or the iced tea urn nozzles that like, 25% of workers don't realize come apart to be cleaned. Or the soda gun line at the bar that actually can't be completely cleaned. Or the fact that most dishes have to be run through twice to actually be clean but we constantly mix up the piles of half-clean and actually-clean dishes. Or that nobody cleans the fruit we use for garnishing teas or cocktails....
Or the fact that I've literally seen people wash their hands only a handful of times despite working in the industry for almost 5 years now... And most of those times were exiting the bathroom, but never again.
Used to work in kitchens, people aren't as careful with your food as you think.
Bolts, dead flies, beard hairs, all kinds of stuff falls in that just flicked off, the food isn't bad because the chef sucks(necessarily) it's because they are trying to get rid of crappy ingredients(eg, the stuff the bugs found, stuff in the freezer when it lost power), your food that takes ages to warm up was sitting on the bench near the dirty dishes for 15 minutes and then nuked in the microwave for 40 seconds, the floor is covered in garabage juice because someone just went out for a smoke by the dumpster, the sou chef has a cold and is coughing everywhere, the dishy makes an effort to fuck with everything because his job sucks and people treat him like shit, the waitress drop cultlery on the garbage floor and put it in with all of the clean cultery, might put a rotten egg or some off milk or something in with a bulk 'no-one will notice', sweat drips on everything.
Thought it was just the first shithole I went to but it happens in classy places too, there's always at least one little E list villain hiding out there.
They always work in the food industry. Back when I worked at Starbucks, I actually got yelled at for washing my hands too much, although it got to the point where sometimes people would specifically request their beverages be made by me. Of course, I just can't stand to have the feeling of something sticky on my hands, and that place was all about sticky substances.
Fuddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen chefs come into the toilet, peed, and walked out without washing their hands. This is in a high-end restaurant in Hong Kong.
u38cg2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Food industry QC here. I have bad, bad news for you.
Sadly it's extremely common. I've seen some disgusting shit in my time. Next to no one does the required 30 seconds and managers will bitch at you if you do.
Funny story, I used to work at McDonalds in highschool and one of my coworkers used her hands to grab raw patties and then proceeded to make burgers...without washing her hands.
To be fair, beef is almost certainly cleaner than chicken, but wtf?!?
Ground meat is not clean because all the surface bacteria that is on all meat is chopped and mixed up rather than staying on the surface. That's why you should always cook burgers through. Unlike steaks, a good sear will not kill most of the bacteria in a patty that are on the inside.
Alright, I meant it more as 'cleaner than chicken' since as far as I know chicken typically carries more bacteria that are dangerous to humans. My phrasing was definitely wrong there, but I was wrong about the degree of uncleanliness, so thanks!
Ococha8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So a friend went to a restaurant and ask for a soup, after a moment he accidentally dropped the spoon and immediately the waiter gives him another, he was really surprised and asked the waiter how did he get him a spoon so fast, so the waiter said "well a marketing team came this year and teach us some tricks to improve our business, they said that a great percentage of people drop their spoon while eating soup, so it takes time to us to notice, and when we come back with the spoon the soup is already cold, so we have to heat it, wasting your time, our time, and electricity, so every waiter carries a spoon in his pocket to do it as fast as possible "." well that's genius" said my friend and continued eating his soup.
After a while he noticed that every waiter has a short thread coming out of their pant zippers, so he called his waiter and ask for an explanation. The waiter said "well the same marketing team told us that when you have to pee you get your hands dirty so after yo have to wash them wasting time, water and soup, so you put down your zipper and the thread is gently tied to my friend down there, all you have to do is pull the thread and is out without touching it". "oh! That's brilliant" said my friend.
But after thinking a while he called the waiter again and asked "So, how do you managed to put your friend back in?" and the waiter said "well I don't know the others but I use the spoon".
Edit: I am learning english, and my teacher said that I should practice my writing more, so I'm starting to use reddit as my practice place so is more fun and interactive. Sorry for grammatical or any other mistake, fell free to correct me. Thanks
Your English is great, I understood everything you said. I wouldn't have known that you weren't a native speaker if you hadn't said so. Just a couple tense agreement mistakes.
Example
Went to a a restaurant and ask for soup
Asked for soup
Ococha8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I really appreciate that. Yeah sometimes I forgot in which tense I'm speaking, but with more practice i should be good
I work in the food industry at a restaurant. I think I'm the only person that actually washes my hands. It's pretty sad to see people that are ServSafe certified that don't wash their fucking hands. The thing that pisses me off most is not washing hands after smoking. It's so disgusting.
Same, I've watched people just walk out without washing their hands. Every person in the building goes through the same door in and out. Wash your damn hands people!
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See that at the grocery store all the damn time.
They touch their dicks, then the door, then squeeze all the god damn fruits and veggies and grab boxes off the shelves and put them back. Now you've got dick melons.
This is why you're supposed to wash all fruits and veggies, even the ones you don't eat the rind/skin of, especially if you cut into them (like melons and avocados).
none of the workers have integrity at the gym I go to nowadays. I'm there washing my hands after I use the restroom, a worker comes in, uses the urinal, and just walks fucking straight back out. Like dude and then they have the gall to give me a stink face when instead of highfiving/handshake when I walk into the gym I try to just bump fists with them.
Yvgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same at my place of employment, and we don't have automatic urinals, so their nasty piss gets to sit there and ferment until the next poor sap comes in.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool bro, I'm sure they wipe off all the equipment after using them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if they don't wash their hands. I don't want them to piss on the floor. How do you not perfectly hit the overhanging urinal? Even when you do the ol' drip drop shake shake toothpaste squeeze, I'm still standing over the urinal. How do the puddles form.
Its disgusting how many people walk out of public bathrooms without washing their hands
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I don't understand is the people who just turn on the tap for like a second and wet their hands and then walk out. Like what was the point of that?
Whether he's omnipotent is still a bit of a mystery, but science has confirmed that he is omnipresent at least once a year on Christmas. In the weeks leading up to the holiday he can be spotted in thousands of locations at one time.
The reason you see my comments everywhere is because I strategically comment on posts that I know will go to the front page or are trending. It takes me 5-10 seconds to come up with and write a witty comment that will most likely end up getting upvoted. If I'm at work or something and on my break, I'll open Reddit in my phone, go to a big subreddit like /r/AskReddit, sort by hot, open up a post, and if I can leave a comment in a spot where people will see then I do it. Like I said, the process takes seconds.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:06:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most doctors lack integrity. I work in hospitals as an outside contractor. I have been in the bathroom many times while a doctor was in there. I have yet seen to see them wash their hands when they were finished.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:32:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't. The people I work for are cowards. Stuff has been brought up before, but the hospital just threatens to take away our contract. We are looked at like we are the lowest form of scum. Funny thing is that we make more than most of the people there. So we just laugh to ourselves and give them little smirks of enjoyment.
I like the scene in Yakuza Zero when you bust into a bathroom and the goons lining up at the urinal break off to fight you without stopping to wash their goddamn hands.
Okay no lie, I don't always wash my hands after pissing. I mean first of all, nobody fuckin washes up after a whiz in the woods, men and woman alike. Secondly it's just some cock sweat and ammonia. Thirdly if it's not lunch and no ones eating and everyone's doing dirty work anyways than fuck it.
But let me say this, I will ALWAYS vigorously wash my motherfucking hands in a college washroom. Those places are fucking gross with the amount of traffic they see. I don't really care if I get a bit of someone's cock microbes on me. There's not any major std's that actually will transmit that way. I just don't have time to get the god damn flu.
You mean washing your hands and touching all the handles and sinks that everyone touches with their dirty and clean hands that get maybe washed once a day?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My college seems to have a shortage of water
jw88p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's every university. Mine is the top in my country and I don't know a single person who doesn't cheat.
the problem with public bathrooms is that the sinks doorhandles are almost always dirtier than your hands or dick. And if you learned to, like a normal person, to not pee on your hands you're safe. but a dookie always requires a wash.
BAMspek ยท 1432 points ยท Posted at 01:01:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate this guy. I hate seeing people leave the bathroom without washing their hands. You're a grown adult I shouldn't have to tell you that's gross.
Edit: look. Guys. Your dick is dirty no matter how much you tell yourself it's not. Your genitals are sweaty and stuffy and rubbing up against your asshole all day. Just wash your fucking hands and stop getting your dick sweat all over everything. It's really not a difficult thing.
Know what I find gross? Any and all surfaces in the bathroom.
I touched the skin on my dick, I'm not about to touch taps and faucets and door knobs that you touched after more than likely accidentally fingering your shit hole while wiping your ass
Your dick skin isn't clean, it's been stewing in your sweaty crotch-brine all day.
If everyone washed their hands, the door handle would be clean. Also did you not flush? What about all the other handles and surfaces you've been touching all day? Have you used your hands to cover a cough or sneeze? Et cetera.
I'm a little weirded out that the default is using FEET. That's disgusting, too. I mean, toilet paper, paper towel, seat cover, elbow... all of those things seem normal enough if you're stuck in a really nasty bathroom.
I do not want to sit on a seat you pissed on from squatting and not lifting the lid, or whatever your SHOE has been in.
I try to just wait until I get home, or I cover the seat that doesn't have spots of piss/blood and sit down because ffs people are seriously gross sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tall so leaning over with my elbows would be a real pain, touching it w/ my hands is already harder (AND GROSSER) than using the tip of my shoe.
I don't understand why they'd make the levers so huge if they were intended for hands like a normal home toilet tbh. it just never really occurred to me.
Why wouldn't you just use your hands like a civilised human if you're just going to wash them straight after? Public toilets are only dirty because users make them so while trying to avoid touching everything.
Also, most public toilets are cleaned multiple times a day, and are therefore cleaner (microbially speaking) than your bathroom at home.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use my hands because most public bathrooms I've seen look pretty nasty. I'm also p tall so I have to reach down or walk up close to it to flush, both are more of a hassle than shoving my foot on the handle.
If people are washing their hands right after anyway then who cares, right? lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I just figure it's easy enough to make metal look clean and not actually clean it
no harm done by me using the tip of my shoe, and it really is just more convenient for me aside from being infinitely less gross to me
No it doesn't. There is residual protection for a few minutes after washing your hands, depending on the type of soap. Also you start with much cleaner hands and maybe pick up a minuscule amount of contamination in the second or two you're touching the handle.
That's not to mention that if everyone washed their hands before leaving then the handle would stay clean.
The best toilet doors are the ones you can push open from either direction, but that's rare unless the ingress and egress are separate.
cmk2877 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are the levers only supposed to be as big as the tip of your fingers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say that, I just don't see why they come out literally a foot when the only ones I've seen outside of public restrooms are like 2-3 inches long and 1 inch wide if you're meant to use them like any other flush lever.
dick joke setup unintentional
rat3an ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not anti washing hands, I just think washing them after the bathroom specifically isn't more necessary than any other time beyond people thinking the bathroom is "gross".
Your keyboard and mouse have far more germs and you touch at a lot more of them, but nobody cares if you wash after touching them.
Washing after the bathroom is important because the decaying organic matter in a humid environment makes it a more likely place to encounter harmful pathogens.
However, you're right that people should make a habit of washing their hands whenever possible because of all the crap (no pun intended) they touch on a daily basis.
Don't forget smartphones, which are basically just poopsicles since many people use them in the bathroom.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, that's not an issue because I enjoy licking vaginas. Have you seen a vagina? It's like one inch away from an asshole. I don't give a damn if she just ran a marathon, I'm going to eat it like a starving Ethiopian would eat a Christmas ham. I might even tongue-punch her fart box a few times just to spice things up a bit. Hand washing is for punks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you're hungry, religious taboos don't matter. Cannibalism is frowned upon in all the major religions, but that doesn't stop people from eating each other when they are dying from starvation. You bringing up the fact that Ethiopia has a minority Muslim population is pretty much irrelevant to begin with. If 2/3rds of Ethiopians are Christian, then my comment makes perfect sense. It was just a joke anyway so there's no need to overanalyze.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you flush a urinal with your foot unless you're some kind of contortionist? Also I think of putting my feet on things that are meant to be touched the same as people putting their feet on the seats on trains or keeping shoes on in someone else's house. It's selfish and inconsiderate.
I do cough and sneeze into my elbow, that was my point. Hands get dirty whether or not you touch the flush handle or the taps or the door.
I wash my hands (using proper technique, like a surgeon) pretty much whenever I'm near an appropriate sink.
Handles must be an American thing. I know I've seen one a few times, but the overwhelming majority of toilets in Australia have a button of some description, usually either on top of the cistern or on the wall.
... ONLY chest high? You think most people can easily lift their foot up to chest level, let alone early in the morning, or when they're tired or drunk or the floor is slippery??
And moreover you think that somebody would deliberately design a device you have to reach your foot up four feet to activate...
I'm not saying everyone CAN, but that they SHOULD be able to. If you're reasonably able bodied, not terribly overweight, and have stretched once or twice in the last year or so then, yes, physically you should be capable of kicking at a urinal handle.
It doesn't have to be pretty, you don't have to get it on the first or even the fifth time, but you should be able to hit it.
You have never worked in a bar. This would be a nightmarish thing to ask of the average bar-goer. Let alone on a busy night. And if you live in America, then you should know how absurd the demand that everybody be in shape and able-bodied is. Never gonna happen.
Also, how little do you value your time that you can stand at a urinal kicking at it for five minutes?
Anyhow, if all humans performed this simple rask, our species would have a chance of surviving. That they dont, is complelling evidence that we are living through the 6th mass extinction.
I only wash my hands after a poop, have only been sick once in five years. That said I have germ-x at my desk that I use before I touch my keyboard.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you.
Meanwhile the thousands of strangers you encounter on a daily basis have to touch every light switch and door after you. We may as well be rubbing our hands directly on your dick.
Not to mention that bacteria that you're carrying exist in your system but you've adapted to them. You could be spreading C. Diff, Noro, and E. Coli everywhere. Just because you're not getting sick doesn't mean other people aren't. Your behavior is disgusting and selfish and you should feel ashamed. Nobody should have to tell a grown adult to wash their hands after touching their genitals. That's common sense for anyone over the age of 3.
There is a grand total of three bathrooms on campus that I know of with paper towel dispensers, and toilet paper disintegrates when it gets wet.
Shtruntz ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:07:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand the logic. If you take a shit, yea wash your fucking hands. But a quick piss. I bathe every morning and depending on what happened throughout the day, frequently at night too. My dick is probably the cleanest part of my body. I'm not pissing on my hands. I'm touching nothing but the zip to my fly and the elastic to my waistband. Most of the tie I don't even need to touch my dick. I just let it rest on the band and the angle takes care of everything else.
JasonDJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter. Your genital region is a damp, dark, moist just inches away from your filthy asshole. Plus every time you fart shit just gets sprayed all throughout the region to settle and breed on any and all surfaces, including your clothes.
Especially when there's a cover over the trash can so you can't throw the paper towel in from across the room and have to hold the door open with your foot while you stretch to reach it, looking like a freak the whole time.
rnrigfts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I throw the paper towel on the floor behind the door as my little act of rebellion. I don't like making the janitor's life harder, but eventually they have to get the idea.
dr1fter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:33:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, as someone who is admittedly willing to be a little gross, I'm still pretty sure tapping a knuckle on the faucet for a split second is better than not washing my hands at all. For that matter, when I say "at all," if I didn't habitually wash my hands when I used the bathroom, I'd go so long that they'd probably get just as dirty.
This exactly. When else do you people wash your hands? Just as a side benefit of showering? Because before meals you still have to deal with that dirty faucet issue.
tiorzol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grow
Up
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cleaner than the bathroom door knob, my belt, the urinal flushing handle, the faucet handle, the paper towel dispenser, the other side of the that door handle, my buddies hand who just came in late but fist bumped anyways because he cool, probably the surface of my cubicle if i haven't cleaned it in more than couple days, mouse, keyboard, headset...
The CDC says you need to scrub your already completely soap lathered hands for at least 20 seconds and then rinse them properly. The whole process should take much longer than the 20 seconds people spend at the tap.
And thefuzzylogic's comment made it sound like hand sanitizer provides no benefit. The truth is, properly washing your hands with soap and water is a fairly lengthy process compared to what most people do and what is socially acceptable. I would imagine, though I could very well be wrong, that the five or so seconds people spend scrubbing with soap is about on par with using hand sanitizer (also generally done improperly). If done properly, washing with soap is probably better.
and it still likely washes off most if not all. the CDC's reccomendations are for assurance and to get that extra percent or two. it doesnt make scrubbing your hands, for 13 seconds instead of 20, worthless.
Mysta02 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, most people wet their hands, soap, rub palms together for 3-5 seconds, then rinse, then turn off faucet, open door, and wipe hands on shirt or pants.
The average person's version of hand washing accomplishes close to nothing.
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hand dryers.
God they're so gross.
Hey, here's an idea, let's take all the shit, farts, and piss-splash in the air, suck them up with a giant motor, pass it over a luke-warm heater, and blow it onto your freshly-cleaned hands.
Some of them even suggest you turn the nozzle upwards to dry your face, if you're the type of person to wash their face in a public restroom.
Well most people don't wash their hands properly either.
sabin4tw ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then I've always thought it was ultra stupid that bathroom doors are almost always push to enter, pull to leave. So I can come in by pushing anywhere on this door, even with my foot. But to leave I have to grab this greasy ass handle that's probably covered in shit and cock.
Try being a caregiver for the elderly. You'll never trust any surface, any object, anything. I just assume everything in the world had poop on it at some point.
There's a way to get around that. Listen up young padawan and let me show you the way.
With your dirty hands that just touched your wee wee make sure there is a a ready to go paper towel, turn the knob if you must but for fucks sake don't touch it. Now wash your hands with warm water and sud up with soap.
Now here's where people fuck up and some might say it's wasteful but fuck those people. Grab your ready to-go paper towel and dry your hands before turning off the water.
Then use your paper towel to turn off the faucet/open the door and then shoot that motherfucker in the trash like mini Lebron James and BOOM clean hands and you haven't touched anything splayed with everyone wee wee or pootay.
Edit: department of health approved for all you savages.
dvaunr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bathrooms are actually pretty clean (unless we're talking a bar bathroom at 2am). They're cleaned much more regularly than many other areas.
Ezmar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I clean public bathrooms every day. I've wiped shit, piss, period blood, vomit, you name it. I'm beyond thinking any of it is gross.
Because you know what, by the time I'm done, that shit isn't gross anymore. It's clean as a fucking whistle.
Just don't eat off the floor because the disinfectant is pretty strong.
No shit sherlock. That's why after you wash your hands you use the paper towels to turn off the taps and open the door.
Do you know where your dick has been all day? 6" from your asshole. In a warm sweaty damp bacterial incubator known as your crotch. Full of hair and moist little nooks and crannies for microbial growth. All of it thriving on the microscopic poop particles being spread around your undercarriage as your boxers or briefs rub against your anus, taint, and sack.
But hey, champ, everyone else leaves their germs on the tap at the sink! You though? You're entitled to leave it on every door knob between the toilet and your work station! Now when someone else goes to the break room, they've got your germs on their hands from that door knob! Oh, now your coworker Mark has decided to emulate your system -- Every time you touch the break room fridge, microscopic traces of Mark's taint ecology get on your hands right as you're about to eat.
The phones? Oh my god the phones! Sally heard it's ok to not wash your hands now! She has a yeast infection, but she only touched the outside of her body so she didn't bother to wash -- after all, the skin of her labia are cleaner than the door handle that might have feces on it, right?? But she had to hurry up and make a phone call after getting off the can...
WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO CAUSE ECOLI OUTBREAKS. IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO DIED FROM THEM I WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for truth but most E. coli outbreaks are caused from farm animal waste flooding into produce fields. Now, Norovirus and C. diff, on the other hand...
Simple. Turn on faucet, wash hands with soap thorough scrub, take paper towel, dry hands, then use paper towel to turn off faucet, take it to door, open door with paper towel, throw away paper towel (hopefully there's a bin near the exit - most places do this now).
Men's bathrooms are gross, I'll give you that, but it's mostly the floor, because apparently there is quite a bit of flailing while pissing. And you're tracking that everywhere. I always find it funny that people handle their shoes without a care for all the fun shit they've walked in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men's bathrooms are infinitely cleaner than woman's from what I hear. I have a co worker that won't drink anything at work because she doesn't want to have to use the bathroom.
FANGO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But like, touching the knobs and shit is before you wash your hands. Do you also not flush the toilet? Is it cleaner to later shake hands with someone after border line spanking the monkey tryna get that last drop? So many questions.
Use hand to turn on water and get soap. Wash hands. Dry hands. Use towel to turn off water. Use towel to grab door handle. Voila. No towels? Use your foot to turn off water. Don't dry
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always happy when the faucet works with sensors, don't have to touch anything. The door gets the foot.
i hope you always find a bathroom that you can get into without using your hands... otherwise everything you said is pointless.
I love them crooked corridor entrance bathrooms... you dont have to touch a damn thing to get in, flush with my foot like a monkey.
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, that way after touching their dick and not washing their hands, they can still proceed to touch everything else in a public setting that isn't a bathroom door. Like the door to the office, or squeeze all the produce in the store.
K but other people don't want to touch your dick on everything else you touched m8. And I love how you assume you're one of the rare ones that is 1) only peeing and 2) capable of not accidentally fingering their ass. (it's not actually that rare)
overide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude 95% of bathrooms these days have touch free activation for exactly this reason so your complaint isn't really holding water. Wash your fucking hands you dirty heathen.
mrrowr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And have you noticed how many copies of Akeelah and the Bee they have for sale at Starbucks?
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He.
Is fucking disgusting. Just turn off the taps and open the door with a paper towel. Throw it out in the bin next to the door. If there's no bin next to the door throw it on the floor if you must.
My school recently removed all paper towels and replaced them with dry blowers. There is already green residue at the bottom of all of them and dry blowers are pretty disguring even without that.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hand dryers.
God they're so gross.
Hey, here's an idea, let's take all the shit, farts, and piss-splash in the air, suck them up with a giant motor, pass it over a luke-warm heater, and blow it onto your freshly-cleaned hands.
Some of them even suggest you turn the nozzle upwards to dry your face, if you're the type of person to wash their face in a public restroom.
How they are even legal boggles my mind.
And then, to take the paper towels out so you can't even hygenically open the door, or have a cleaner option for drying off?
As if schools aren't a major breeding ground of disease already.
This is why I don't touch anything when I have to go pee. I don't even touch my dick! I use my feet to open, close/lock the door as well as flush the toilet. Elbow for toggling the faucet on and off. It's really a practice that everyone should perfect.
Washing your hands when you go to the bathroom is also meant to get all the viruses/bacteria you've accrued on them from snot, eye juice, blood, phlegm, etc. It isn't just about stuff in the bathroom.
except that it accumulates bacteria over the course of the day including sweat. So it is not as clean as you make it sound. Also if everyone had that mindset for using the restroom; there would be typhoid and such. I also wouldnt shake hands with someone who touched their dick
*changed thsir to their
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure over time, though I'm not really sweating throughout the day as I'm not running laps, not exercising, and I'm not a heavy person. I'm 6'1 and weigh 120lbs. I still sweat but it takes a bit for me to sweat. Even when I shit, I use baby wipes to try to make it as clean as possible until I shower. Lastly is when I would sweat, the ball sack is more of what sweats, and I'm not fondling my balls.
And no I'm not making my Dick out to be the cleanest thing ever, but it's certainly the cleanest thing in the public restrooms, and most public places for most of the time.
Washing hands is good in general, but it might be less hygienic to wash them in a public restroom, as there could be fecal matter on handles, knobs, etc.
JdPat04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use paper towels or toilet paper to turn off the water if it's not auto. I push the door open with my feet. If my wife is with me and it's a pull door I'll have her open it with her feet. If she's not with me, I'll use TP or PT to open it. If non of those are available. If it's a place with other people in and out, I let them come in and I catch the door with feet. Last resort is I'll put my hand in my pocket, and open the door with my pants. I also try to carry a few napkins, tissues with me just in case.
The only thing as that reaching up and grabbing TP exposes you to the risk of contacting more fecal matter. Carrying napkins with you seems to be a good tip though, thanks. You know about the parachute method right?
The act of lining the bowl water with toilet paper to prevent splashback.
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had used that one before on the TP for splash effect. I had actually forgot about it too. Mainly because I only use the restroom at home for the large majority, and if it's in public, I will shower ASAP. I became a huge germaphobe. I've loosened up a bit when my son was born but still am very sensitive about that stuff. You're very welcome for the tip and thanks for reminding me about the splash. I can't stand it. I'll grab a baby wipe and clean it off ASAP.
It's awfully close to your butthole to be called "clean"
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my balls are the closest. My butthole is pretty damn clean considering I scrub it too, and don't go around shitting myself, or fingering my asshole or whatever weird shit y'all do.
I don't shit 10 times a day, and I use baby wipes when I do shit. I shower daily... So yeah my dick seems to be pretty fucking clean. It's a lot cleaner than anything in your workspace (most likely - if you work in offices or shit like that) and definitely anything in the public restroom.
Yes but when you fart, warm turd particulates waft around in your underwear showering your junk in bacteria.
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:10 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wear underwear
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:34:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I wash my hands after shitting, my dick is clean I'm not washing my hands after taking a piss, hell sometimes I can just flop it out and piss without ever touching anything.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick is not clean. It's sitting in a dark, hairy, damp, creviced, warm environment inches away from your asshole. Which only gets passed over with a tissue when you get shit on it. Any other part of your body, if it got shit on it, you'd scrub with soap and water till it turned red.
Every bit of gas you pass is aerosolized shit redistributing over your entire region. You may not even feel a fart. Your asshole dilates multiple times throughout the day to pass tiny bits of gas that you won't even register as a fart.
You magically piss through your underwear, which is also sitting in that same environment?
You're fucking disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's so dirty how come nobody ever got sick from sucking it?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A million thanks for this comment. My body is way more hygienic than any part of a public male restroom. If the basins had foot pedals to turn the water on and off then I'd gladly wash my hands every time I used a public restroom. Unfortunately, men's toilets are either neglected or men in general are simply pigs because some toilets I've entered are truly disgusting and house way more germs than the skin on my dick. Besides, people should grow up a little. Germ phobia in general is pretty over the top in the western world.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick is not clean. It's sitting in a dark, hairy, damp, creviced, warm environment inches away from your asshole. Which only gets passed over with a tissue when you get shit on it. Any other part of your body, if it got shit on it, you'd scrub with soap and water till it turned red.
Every bit of gas you pass is aerosolized shit redistributing over your entire region. You may not even feel a fart. Your asshole dilates multiple times throughout the day to pass tiny bits of gas that you won't even register as a fart.
Most public restrooms have handfree/motion-detecting faucets nowadays. Those that don't you can always turn the water off and open the door with a paper towel.
"Germ phobia" is over the top, absolutely agreed. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't practice basic hygene like washing your hands after touching your dick or sneezing onto them. And it's because of assholes like you that germophobes even exist. If everyone consistently washed their hands after handling their dick/snot/blood, people wouldn't feel a need to sanitize after touching every doorknob your snotty dick fingers touched all day.
You're fucking disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're making a lot of assumptions. Maybe take it down a few notches and think twice before accusing someone of not having basic hygiene and calling them "fucking disgusting". Your hysterical response has kind of proved my point.
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just said you don't wash your hands after you use a restroom. That's legit the most basic hygiene there is. It's the very first thing you learn how to do that applies to hygiene at all.
The only assumption I made is that you don't wash your asshole with soap and water till it's red, which is a pretty safe assumption for most people. The rest is biological truths. Are you saying you don't fart, or that your crotch isn't a warm dark environment perfect for facilitating bacterial growth?
someday i intend to loiter in a stall in a department store or mall and wait for someone to blow by the sinks after availing the facilities, then I will follow them around the store with my jumbo roll of Mr Yuk stickers and mark everything they touch until either they notice and ask me or i get kicked out.
Your genitals are sweaty and stuffy and rubbing up against your asshole all day
I must be doing something wrong. My dick never rubs against my asshole.
KyleGG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One flaw in your argument. That is that you don't have to touch your dick to take a piss. In fact, you don't have to touch any surface in the bathroom. The joy of having stand up urinals.
I still wash my hands for other reasons (Sanitizing my hands for things I touched before entering the bathroom), but do not think for a second that 'dick sweat' is a problem that can only be avoided by washing your hands.
Even if your dick is 100% clean, or if you somehow have a trick to not use your hands at all during your time in there, you should still wash your hands. Shit just builds up on them throughout the day, and rather than just showering once, washing your hands whenever you're in the bathroom is a good schedule to wash on.
I recently put up a passive-aggressive "wash your hands" note in my HOME bathroom, threatening to remove the door entirely. Aimed at my room mate. Because he doesn't shower or wash his hands and the doorknob was starting to get a texture from what I can only assume is dead skin off his hands and wang.
He's moving out on Saturday. Woo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge me. I have hand sanitizer in my backpack that I use instead.
I used to build and deliver hardware across a few corporate buildings.
No. They do not. Ever. . .
(Maybe 20% do in reality. Maybe)
MMButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention the microscopic backsplash of piss from all the people who peed there before you in the past 10 minutes alone. Your hands are covered if you're holding yourself while peeing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never claimed to be the most well-endowed guy on the planet, but I'm pretty sure that if your genitals are rubbing against your asshole, you're either built wrong or pleasin' the ladies.
I'm with you, I work at a hospital so hand hygiene is high priority, so it's rare that I see someone not wash their hands (usually a visitor, thankfully) but when I do I'm a bit grossed out.
I, at once, wish that my genitals COULD rub up against my asshole, ever, and at the same time, glad that they don't. I expect I am not alone in that regard. Good day.
If I use someone else's computer/mouse, absolutely I wash my hands or use a hand wipe (after use, I do it discretely). And my keyboard and mouse I clean at least once a week.
tree103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes in my office we have sanitizer dotted around everywhere so if you have to use someone elses keyboard and mouse for what ever reason you can sanitize your hands before and after. Our office frequently has staff off for illness and this has helped reduce that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are under the mistaken belief that they're improving their immune system. They don't realize that the immune system issue is only with excessive use of antibacterial soaps - most soaps are not antibacterial, and even if you do wash with an antibacterial soap once or twice a day at work or whatever it won't hurt your immune system. But that doesn't make headlines.
Yknow I don't always wash my hands, but a very specific set of circumstances must occur before I will:
Pissing only - if I shit, I wash
Bathroom door is open, not present, or automatic
Urinal is automatic or non flush
I'm alone in the bathroom, since I wont be explaining to them what I'm about to explain to you
When I piss I don't touch my dick, I grab my waistband, pull it down, flop my junk onto my waistband, do my business, then pull my waistband up over it. So no dick touching was involved. Even if I did touch my dick, that shit is clean enough to eat with broccoli and cheese. I clean it thoroughly every morning in the shower. My rational being that its something I want girls to put in their mouth, so I damn well better keep it clean.
In that scenario, I didnt touch anything but my clothing. My hands didnt get any dirtier than they were before entering (and I sanitize them like every 30min), so why wash?
And I shouldn't have to tell you i don't give a shit
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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BAMspek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not. It's dangerously close to your asshole.
JdPat04 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dick is still probably cleaner. If I haven't taken a shit, and shower regularly. Yeah easily, as long as I wash my hands before I piss. Otherwise they are just as dirty.
Think of everything you touch and everybody else who has touched it. What all have they touched, and what all has touched that? Who all has touched thei own genitals, ass, picked their noses, hands in mouth, touching their shoes and what they steeped in, their phones, door knobs, just ALLLLL KINDS OF GODDAMN NASTY SHIT!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol at people down voting because of truth.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:22:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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BAMspek ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that led to the plague so it's a little bit of a big deal.
The higher the population density, the higher the disease load on the population. Good hygiene decreases the amount of bacteria being passed around from person to person, bad hygiene increases it.
If it wasn't for modern medicine and sanitation, we'd all be dying in droves due to overpopulation and being packed together so tightly.
Ummmmm.... The whole of humanity survived without soap... but I hope you aren't somehow under the mistaken impression that every person who ever lived then is still alive today??? PLENTY of people died. And many many many of them died from completely preventable diseases or things like dysentery or infections.
People should stop bitchin about this. Dirty environments are good for your immune system. If you're a healthy person you're not gonna get extremely sick because of this.
dicks1jo ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:16:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't even "technically right." This is just straight up right. I work in a hospital, and if 50% of people worked like this kid does, it would literally save lives.
edit: to expand on this - MRSA, C. Diff, and other hospital acquired infections are a very serious thing. I have seen people go from a slip and fall to on a ventilator in a chemically induced coma because of shit that could have been prevented through patients, doctors, nurses, and most of all visitors just washing their fucking hands and not bringing in shit they could have left in their bloody cars. You don't need to be touching everything gods dammit! Use the fucking foam. It shouldn't take seeing an immunocompromised 90 year old stare into space with a tube sticking out of his skull full of fluid and bubbles relieving the intracranial pressure to get the point across...
I think I'll go drink myself to sleep now...
Kinolee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use the fucking foam.
Not good enough for C Diff, btw. You need to you soap, heat and friction to kill C Diff spores. In my hospital we put masking tape over the sanitizer dispensers on/by the rooms of C Diff patients so that they can't be used and to remind everyone to actually wash their hands.
"Well Captain, remember the last time when the Romulans attacked, and our shield strength was down to 27%? And you asked me to reinforce structural integrity to the warp core? That was one time."
Too many men think that because they didn't wipe their ass they don't need to wash their hands. I kept a mental list of men at my office who I wouldn't shake hands with based on their bathroom behavior.
A friend of mine said that when he was young, he gaslighted someone he knew by insisting that "morals" meant "testicles."
He would go up to adults in front of his friend and talk about how big his morals were and his friend would stare in disbelief at how he got away with it, how the adults weren't furious with him
I remember reading a study in some magazine like Maxim or something else popular before online stuff, and it was set up to hide in bathroom stalls or be obviously present in the bathroom and record how many visitors washed their hands. I can't remember the exact numbers but the likelihood someone would leave without washing was like at least 50% if they thought they were alone (maybe higher). The kind of surprising thing was the visitors didn't differ that greatly between someone obviously present in the stall where they couldn't see the visitor and someone that could see their face. But both were very high. People are weird.
What's that question even supposed to mean? You can't use integrity...it's a personal attribute.
Madfield ยท 6308 points ยท Posted at 23:56:01 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but something my brother answered for homework.
My brother was in year 1, and his homework was to draw a balloon "blown up".
He drew a picture with lots of squiggly shapes spread out across the paper. He took it as the balloon blown up, like a bomb, so he drew the leftovers of an exploded balloon.
His teacher loved it and gave him full marks!
[deleted] ยท 2029 points ยท Posted at 01:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Competently drawing the leftovers of an exploded balloon sounds a lot more challenging than drawing a single circle and a rectangular basket connected by lines.
Gracious, even when corrected? Who are you and why are you on reddit??
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:39:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your comment and want to give a serious response. The notion that humanity has an inexplicable desire to ascertain and spread truth amazes and delights me. I feel a duty and thrill at being party to that noble project. As someone who has been accused of being overly negative, I must admit that I was amused to be complimented as gracious.
You, sir, are a rare breed. Clearly you're reserving the non-negative side of your personality for the internet's hoi polloi, and for that we thank you.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:43:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, for that means a lot to me. I maintain my position that, as a whole, humanity yearns after truth.
No problem at all. By no stretch of the imagination do I pretend to be an expert on this subject matter, but in my experience individuals yearn to discover what drives them; I'm not sure if that's the same as what you mean. Although that could just be a figment of the age group/personalities of the people I know.
ErisC ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:31:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmyes quite
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have unless the last question had asked me to draw a deflated balloon.
Tadferd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a native English speaker it was my first thought as well until I remembered that blown up usually refers to a balloon inflated with air. English is really stupid sometimes. Blown up should really only have one meaning.
Not really sure why you got downvoted so hard. I like the idea, and knowing my friend that might have been what he did. This was probably 15 years ago, so it's kind of hard to remember the details.
My 8th grade math teacher told us that once she asked the students to draw two intersecting planes. One of the students drew two airplanes colliding in the air
Why bother specifying? If you ask someone to draw a balloon, 99 times out of a hundred they're not going to draw a piece of floppy latex.
cindel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, wish I'd had that teacher.
I remember we were told to write a story about a city, so I wrote this rad horror story about a vampire city and how they have horror movies with normal people in them and I got zero marks and my asshole teacher wrote "What is this garbage? You were supposed to write about a city." GUESS WHAT LADY A VAMPIRE CITY IS STILL A CITY.
Same teacher who asked me why I was so bad at concentrating and when I told her I had ADHD she said "Don't you tell such lies! I've seen children with that, they go to special schools!". First time I ever cried at school because I'd never experienced telling the truth and having an adult call me a liar. Anyway, she was old so she's probably dead now.
(Don't ask me to explain why my parents hadn't informed my teacher of my ADHD. My other teachers had been aware of it before her.)
IHLewis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:50:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in pre-school (Christian school mind you), we were given a picture of flowers to color to take home to our parents.
I colored the whole picture black.
My mom shows up, the teacher pulls her aside to talk to her about it. They get me to ask me about it and I answered that the flowers were in the shade.
Xomnik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it's funny when your brain thinks of something that is correct but not the initial answer people would think of. Then kinda maybe related but this https://www.propublica.org/images/ngen/gypsy_image_630/dancer.gif always seems to make the non outlined seem like it's going the last direction you believe it's going, although both are correct, it's pretty interesting, and kinda ties in with what people might see initially.
In her first art class, my Mother was asked to draw an egg and a rock in relationship to one another. She drew the egg cracked over the rock. Everyone else had drawn an egg and a rock next to each other. Her teacher didn't like her drawing at all. I plan to ask her to paint me a version of it for my kitchen.
Slightly related story. When I was really young, I was sweeping the floor near a vent and my mom said not to sweep any dust into the vent or it would blow up.
I was too young to realize she meant the dust would literally blow in the up direction, but just old enough to wonder why on earth she would trust me with such a dangerous chore. I realized what she meant like two years later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing they weren't asked to dissect The Ant and the Grasshopper.
Hopefully it's not too late but this reminds me of a story from when I was a kid. Me and my family were out fishing on a lake when an inflatable boat got close to us. My little brother being 6 years old asked my dad what kind of boat is that. My dad not thinking much of it tells my brother "It's a blow up boat"(hopefully you guys get this but he meant it as in you air it up). My brother just gets quiet and my dad forgets about it. 10 minutes later the boat gets closer and my brother asks my dad if we can move away from it. My dad asks him why and my brother says because it's going to blow up. This same brother also once checked he had sexual intercourse in a 7th grade sex Ed class and him being in the middle of a "sex course" he checked yes. So the teacher called him up (I'm still not sure how this was okay) and kept asking him if it was true until the teacher finally realized what happened. My brother is really smart but damn sometimes things just don't click for him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read your explanation as to why it was wrong. Not sure if smart or just a dumbass
This actually seems more accurate in my opinion. The term "blown up" seems to represent explosions more often than inflation, as it might in this sense.
I would have done the same, is the teacher wanted a balloon drawn, just tell them to draw a balloon. What are the odds of a student drawing a deflated balloon, unless requested?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol "year 1" "full marks" it's cute language
-Karakui ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a stupid easy year 1. When I was in year 1 we were doing maths!
Not a teacher but a witness. In high school history class the teacher asked "What was the peace treaty that ended World War 2?" This was a trick question because there wasn't a single treaty that ended the war. This one kid blurted out "The Manhattan Project." The teacher laughed so hard he went and got the other history teacher and had the kid tell him the answer too.
This reminds me of high school when i had this pretty attractive history teacher
She was talking about jewels or something at a museum and i blurted out, "Mrs.____, i can show you some real nice jewels."
And everyone bust out laughing and the teacher got very red and flustered/embarrassed and i look confused because i meant i would show her big diamonds and rubies like to jokingly woo her but the class and the teacher took it as i was referring to my genitals.
In high school, we had a history teacher that everyone insisted was perverted, but I never saw it, so I was all "you guys are crazy; he's fine." Being the immature sophomore that I was, I was part of the group of friends who would just poke each other in the side at inopportune times, you know, for the lulz or something.
A friend of mine, let's call her D, could not control her reactions to save her life. D I were sitting next to each other in the middle of the front row. I reach to poke D, who then let's out a short, but really high pitched "eep!"
In front of the class, teacher looks me dead in the eyes and says in a very loud and frustrated teacher voice "RelativelyObjective, stop fingering D."
For years I insisted that it was unfortunate word play, but then I finally concluded "hey, maybe he knew how that was going to be taken."
Had a teacher with the same reputation, same blissful situation. Somewhere along the line, someone asked one of the blissfully ignorant girls if she could touch her elbows behinds her back. Under the impression that this was a rare skill, she challenged some other people in his class the next day. He walks in to the class to see every underage Girl and some guys sticking out their chests. He had this "I am so getting fired" look on his face, and just walked back out for a while.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher who used to do this sort of thing. If a kid walked into his classroom halfway through a lesson he would shout 'can't you see I'm having a period?' We thought it was hilarious and spent years mocking him for what we thought were the completely unintentional double entendres peppered throughout his lessons.
The thing is, we were all listening to him carefully to pick out anything he might say that we could laugh about later. It's only recently I've realised that he was almost certainly doing it on purpose to make us pay attention.
Time for me to dully glow in the bottom of an abyss.
When I was in sixth grade I had this very attractive math teacher. Problem was, I didn't see it. Even my mom and dad said to me after a parent teacher meeting, "I don't know how you get any work done".
This one kid and I were constantly competing to be the best at math and so to obstruct one another we would knock things off one another's desk in playful dickery. One day he flicked my pencil off the desk just as she was walking by, so being nice she bent down to pick up the pencil and I noticed that my shoe was untied...
So in my most playfully serious pubescent squeakified voice I said, "While you're down there..." and she turned super red and there was laughter and confusion and a bewildered little potato...
After class she pulled me aside and said, "I know you were trying to be funny but that was very inappropriate. Be careful of your choice of words".
And of course I had to pipe up with, "I just wanted you to tie my shoe since you were getting the pencil".
Years later it finally dawned on me what it was I said to that poor woman.
She didn't think you were going to ask her to tie your shoe she thought you were going to do something dirty like.... forget to wear socks under your shoes. Scandalous~
Aha, far less pleasant, but in Geography we had a teacher say "I'm going to show you a clip" and one of the trouble makers shouted out: "you're going to show us your what?!?!"
I did think it was a little overkill not to let him back into class again.
Thats alright man, one time I got detention in middle school because I was giving a presentation on the impressment of seamen during the American Revolution. I said seamen so many times and everybody was laughing super hard and I had no idea what they were laughing at but the teacher stopped my presentation and gave me detention.
History class, loved when we talked about "mandates". My friend and I were sitting there giggling and the teacher called out "Okay Rambles what's so damn funny!?" so I replied "Hey Mr. Miller, want to go on a man date?". The class started cracking up and he goes "okay, okay... that was a good one!" and continued on lol.
Fuck, yeah you're right. Sorry for having dead parents and have that laughed at by a person who wants internet points. I mean seriously, what was I thinking. I'll delete my shit.
It' amazing to realize that there are still people around who lost direct family (parents/ siblings) due to atomic bombs. It's a thought I've never actually contemplated before.
p.s. I'm from Alabama and I honestly only know 1Japanese person personally.
i dont mean to seem like a retard but can someone explain plz?
Dmeff ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 07:32:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The manhattan project was the project that developed the atomic bomb, which conviced Japan to surrender. It ended the war, but it's obviously not a "peace treaty"
NioA_ ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:33:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World War I ended with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. World War II, on the other hand, did not. Instead, the war ended when the Axis powers surrendered on VE Day (May 8th, 1945). This means that the question had no actual answer, as there was no treaty to end WWII.
The Manhattan Project was a project conducted by the USA during WWII. The project oversaw the development of weapons of mass destruction - nuclear bombs. The USA dropped two nuclear bombs on the cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima during WWII, basically forcing Japan to surrender. The Nazis surrendered shortly after.
The funny thing is - the kid wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong either. Some may argue about the ethics behind dropping those two bombs, but many can come to the conclusion that this event marked the end of the war.
quineloe ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:32:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World War I ended with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. World War II, on the other hand, did not.
That would have been very strange if the Treaty of Versailles had ended both The Great War and WWII.
You are correct. VE Day was only Victory in Europe. In the pacific theatre, the Japanese fought on until months later when 2 atomic bombs were dropped.
NioA_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:24:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Nazis did surrender first, as their "fall" happened in May.
If you already know what the Manhattan project is:
"Peace Treaty" can be understood as a euphemism extremely disjointed with the actual, violently conclusive nature of the Manhattan project. The attempt to compare the two opposites at all is hilarious, especially how it could be a valid euphemism.
nniel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so im like you, but from what i gathered in the comments
its the hirashima and nagasaki bombs
BAI112 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 04:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though its a funny answer, its not true since the reason the Japanese surrendered was that Soviet declared war instead of assisting the Japanese with favourable peace negotiations...
I had a similar thing happen in a high school history class. One of my friends didn't really pay attention to the lectures and would just study the night before the tests to pass. So one day we have a pop quiz and one of the questions was "who was the first female Senator in the US?" Friend didn't know the answer so he wrote "who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen." A few days later we are taking the test for the unit and the teacher is grading those quizzes, about half way through the teacher starts laughing uncontrollably, he then tells everyone to stop and reads the answer out loud to the whole class. All the girls turned and glared at my friend simultaneously.
Teaching grade 5. Students were fooling around during group work so I said sarcastically, "Do I need to stand here and watch you do your work?" to which the student responded even more sarcastically, "Well you don't have to stand, you can grab the chair and sit."
I can't remember which grade it was, but probably second or third grade. Teacher was asking something relatively simple and no-one wanted to or knew the answer. "What's going on here? There should be hands up like trees in the forest!"
"Maybe this is a logging area" said the joker of our class.
Woah... do you remember how long ago this was? Because I have like the exact same story from when I was in 5th grade.
Edit: Lmao at the people saying "now kith". According to these posts this would have been my teacher when I was a fifth grader... so thats... that's a no go.
I work at day camps and believe me, whenever kids do stuff like this it's reaaaally hard to not curse in frustration. I fix this problem by completely embarassing them in dodgeball or soccer afterwards. Little shit aint got nothing on me.
Hey I'd never physically harm a child. Just make them look really bad if they're being smartasses. My favorite part about my job is teaching the bullies what their victims feel. I remember once this would laugh everytime another particular kid would make a mistake, and he'd tell everyone to join in on the laughter. Always the same victim, when asked why he just said "cause his clothes are dumb." I stood the bully in front of the whole group and just laughed. Everyone followed my lead and laughed at him, and then I told everyone to stop, asked bully how he felt, he said bad, so I told everyone I wasn't going to tolerate any more harassment in my group. The bully said sorry, became friends with the victim and they both ended up being my favorite kids in my group. These are the things that make me love my job.
Damn, that's an awesome story. As a teacher though, I'd be terrified to try that because I'd probably have the bully's mom come to the school and complain that I embarrassed her son.
Yeah, we can get away with some stuff because we're not there to "educate" them, just have fun. Obviously, like I said, I'd never go as far as insulting or harming a kid obviously, that'd just be plain stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest was supposed to be cleaning his room that's his only chore just keep his damn room clean. I told him I was tired of seeing his room like that "well then close the door." he was a very smartass 6 year old. Still is. He was asked on thanksgiving how to cook a turkey as a class project video- most kids' response was to put it in the oven or cover it in butter- what does my child say "you kill it first"
I was teaching kindergarteners about needs vs wants. And I showed pictures of things and we talked about why it was or wasn't. After a picture of a puppy came up, everyone but one kid said "want", so I asked him to explain his answer.
A Pope has a Water Cannon. It is a Water Cannon.
He fires Holy-Water from it. It is a Holy-Water Cannon.
He Blesses it. It is a Holy Holy-Water Cannon.
He Blesses the Hell out of it. It is a Wholly Holy Holy-Water Cannon.
He has it pierced. It is a Holey Wholly Holy Holy-Water Cannon.
He makes it official. It is a Canon Holey Wholly Holy Holy-Water Cannon.
Batman and Robin arrive. He shoots them.
I worked in a special needs class for a year and there was the one kid with a textbook case of Asperger Syndrome. Very bright, very tough nut to crack.
I tried to tell him a corny joke once and he was not having it.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"He likely had business over there or was compelled by force."
Well, ok.
Easily my favorite memory of that class.
Waryur ยท 8367 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is also autistic. Has led to similar "punchlines" to the classic corny jokes.
"Why don't people play poker in the jungle?" "Because the undiscovered tribes who inhabit the jungles have had no contact with Western culture, therefore they would never have heard of any game called "poker", let alone know how to play it."
Not terribly relevant, but when my little sister was about 4 or 5, she was really into knock-knock jokes. The most infamous one she came up with, still talked about 20 years later, was:
"Knock-knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Film."
"Film who?"
"Film with a coffee pot that didn't have any arms or legs!"
Lol! I love this joke! It's adorable! Reminds me of that video with the kid that keeps telling bad jokes to his dad and inserting a cow into the punchlines.
Holy shit, was literally just posting the gorilla joke when I caught your reply.
The actress who plays his daughter in Louie nailed the delivery when they re-enacted it for the show.
Don't know if I'm the only one or not but its kinda annoying that I can't tell if I need to read this kind of images like:
1 2
3 4
5 6
Or like:
1 4
2 5
3 6
...until I stare at them for a few seconds.
[deleted] ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 04:28:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid in my school told this joke:
Why was the pine tree on fire?
Because it was snowing outside.
He explained (because nobody got it) that it was a pine tree inside while it was snowing outside so it has to be a christmas tree with defective lights that caused it to catch on fire.
It doesn't really work as a joke, but I could totally see using this as one of those logic puzzles. "It's snowing heavily somewhere north. Suddenly, a pine tree bursts into flames. Why?" That kind of thing.
But no, logic puzzles like that are absolutely stupid. Because the 'answer' is so stupidly specific, and it is not the only answer.
I could say "a car crashed into it and blew up" "it was struck by lightning in the storm" "a war has broken out and it was firebombed" or whatever other bullshit that's equal to "there was a shortage on the Christmas lights and the caught fire"
Amaedoux ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this is that people love the overly specified answers, it gives them a sense of superiority, they get to tell you "wrong" when you don't give that 1 answer.
Woofiny ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best answer I've ever heard for a logic puzzle/riddle:
My girlfriend, two friends, and myself were in the car and we were shooting logic puzzles and riddles back and forth.
My girlfriend says, "You guys are going to think this one is stupid but here it is, 'What has 9 letters and starts with gas?'.
The rest of us start thinking, firing answers back at her about different engines and papers and all sorts of incorrect things. Finally, my friend came up with an answer so great I practically heard the light bulb turn on in his head, "The Holocaust?"
It's safe to say that none of us could stop laughing for awhile after that.
Because the 'answer' is so stupidly specific, and it is not the only answer.
Basically, talking about how making a logic puzzle that's easy to interpret ambiguously and choosing an obscure interpretation that no one will pick first is less a show of intellect and more being a bit of an ass.
Woofiny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was moreso trying to figure out what the third word was, haha.
The English language that end in 'gry.' 'Angry' and 'hungry' are two.
What's the third [word]?
It's just being clever about making it hard to understand what the actual question is. It's asking for the third word in the phrase, not the third word that ends in "gry".
Woofiny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These stopped being funny a while ago. Just seems like a "Look how smart and edgy I am" love note from the author to himself now.
We get it. Those stick figures are smug and insufferable due to their over-inflated sense of their own intelligence. And one of them wears a stupid hat. WE GET IT.
I mean, you're welcome to your opinion I guess, but you don't seem to understand how these kind of puzzles work. Generally, you're meant to ask questions about the situation until you are able to deduce the specific answer. Things like, "Is there any lightning in the storm?" ("No, just a lot of snow."), and, "Are there other pine trees nearby?" ("Not in the immediate area, no.").
The idea is that a creative line of questioning should eventually lead you to the answer.
Then the problem is this asshole you're hanging out with, not the puzzle itself.
aipom45 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:16:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One answer I hate to the logic questions is, "the diver was scooped up while swimming by a fire fighting helicopter and was dropped onto some trees that were on fire"
"Correct" answer is white (polar bear) because every direction is south at the North Pole. It's bollox though, you could just as easily have only windows on the south side of your cabin and it be a brown bear.
As I addressed elsewhere, yes there are other possible answers; the point of a logic puzzle like this is to ask yes or no questions until you're able to deduce the correct answer in this situation.
Waryur ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:52:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god... Iโm autistic as well as my friend up there; though Iโm a lot better with humour and joke-writing (though my delivery is still pretty much abysmal) nowadays, my attempts at making jokes used to come out like this. I actually found one from a while back (wrote it in a document called โBest Quotes Waryurโ for all the โbrillianceโ that my broken-ass brain autisms out) just to give you an example of my โwitโ.
โwhy did the man not know their was a crazy dude outside his house?? because he was in the bathroom / (if you donโt get it , the BATHROOM has no WINDOWS so he couldnโt SEE CRAZY and now he is with no more life, very sad)โ -/u/Waryur, 2011
Verneff ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:18:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other side of things. "Why did the man not see there was a crazy dude outside his house?" "He was walking up to his house and people with mental conditions often do not realize it."
shnnrr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldnt it make more sense if it was being used in a fire place?
crozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying it sort of tongue in cheek, and I understand the concept of the autism spectrum. But if part of being autistic is not really understanding humor, and you're saying you use that to be humorous, it's kind of a funny juxtaposition. Particularly so if/when it's actually funny.
Edit: realized you're not the person I originally responded to. When I say you/you're I mean the other guy.
I think a distinction needs to be made. Not understanding humour vs not understanding when other people are trying to be humorous.
I'm on the spectrum, so I feel compelled to use myself as an example. I often use puns and sarcasm. Not only do I understand the concepts of both, but I'm rather skilled at using them to maximum effect. However, one sarcastic comment from someone who isn't me can often leave me wondering what they meant by it. While most people would have instantly contextualised their comment with sarcasm and followed along on the leap from serious to non-serious, I am very unreliable at it. When I get it, I get it. When I don't, it can lead to some confusion.
Fortunately, I don't have to feel too alone with it... Usually when I deliver a joke, I find I'm not adequately displaying the social markers that inform others of my humour, so I can entertain myself for a while sometimes by putting some very silly ideas in people's heads and then stringing them along until they finally click on that I'm just joking.
The 'pro tip' section is that I'm nearly always joking on some level or another. I just don't handle it too well when people joke back and I'm not expecting it.
o11c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you take this quiz, you'll note that there are several axes in the result. Some people are extreme on one axis but not another (this is partly social adaptation, not innate - I was exposed to a lot of sarcasm as a child, so I can read more humor than I otherwise would be).
Also, very few people store 0% or 100% on any axis.
I have high functioning autism but I miss an obvious punchline often enough that most of my friends think I have the sense of humor of a brick. It's evolved to the point where they intentionally try and tell jokes I won't get because the reaction is funnier than the actual punchline
This is such a spectrum response to a joke! I do this all the time. Break down why the joke isn't actually true or funny instead of just having a chuckle.
peazey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really spectrum though? To me it just sounds like the OP knows more about big cats than some of us do. I missed the correction too, but had I been more knowledgeable I might have scratched my head for a while before realizing the the humor was, presumably inadvertently, based off of a geographical misapprehension.
Plus all you have to do to fix it is swap out savannah for jungle. Seems lazy (unless they are also in the jungle enough and OP is a liar!).
My brother has autism (he's 9) his jokes makes no sense quite a bit but you can't help but laugh because of the stuff he comes up with. Kid could tell you more about sharks and space then probably anyone else in the world too
Waryur ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Iโve got the โtism myself lol, my friend just has it a bit harder with the literalisms, and your bro sounds cool.
Funny enough, when I was 9 (Iโm 18 now) I could tell you all there was to know aboutโdonโt judge, again, I was 9, and my brain is defective :Pโtoilets. European toilets, American toilets, the difference between them, how they worked, what the different types were called... school actually had to send a handler to stop me flushing the toilets 15 times every time I asked to go to the WC.
Nowadays Iโm into music, computer programming and language, so at least I look cultured for my first impressions. In all seriousness, I could tell you more than you really ever needed to know about most words in English. Call me the dictionary if youโd like.
What an idiot. Most, if not all, jungle-dwelling peoples have been discovered and have had some contact with Western civilisation. Nor are the only people in the jungle those from native tribes.
I call it antihumor. "so a horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him why the long face. Being a horse and incapable of speech, the horse does not respond."
"A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is slowly tearing his family apart."
"Two men walk into a bar. A third man goes to the stripjoint next door."
So on.
Waryur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get antijokes and all, but this is the sort of thing he does to every joke. Usually it's also about the same 2 or 3 things as well.
This is Autist life right here. The rhetorical question that has gotten me the most times is "Who even invented pants, anyways?"
Yes, i get Sheldon Cooper comparisons a lot. No, I can't watch BBT because of it.
edit: to say I also suck and rule at Cards Against Humanity at the same time. I don't know how to make the funniest statement with my cards but my brain is good at forming the truest statement.
Memir0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of something a co-worker of mine said a couple years ago. He is also on the autism spectrum, and says some pretty funny stuff sometimes, and was no stranger to making jokes that go nowhere.
"What did the chicken say to the conquistadors?"
"I don't know, Brian, what did he say?"
And then in a cartoonishly goofy manner, he would pinch his hands closed sort of like that Italian gesture, but with the arm positioning of an angry crab, and say:
"LOOKING FOR THESE, BOYYYSS?"
Absolutely no idea where he was getting these two halves of the joke, but the lack of context made the rest of us bust our guts laughing. Unfortunately, Brian was later fired for pointing a BB gun at a cub scout, and I haven't seen him since.
I have a friend with Asperger's and he constantly draws comparisons between himself and Dwight! It's a running joke among us but it is an uncanny resemblance in personalities! We all believe Dwight could have had it.
I was passing the last couple of minutes of class with some riddles once and had this exchange (the answer is footsteps):
Me: The more you take, the more you leave behind
Kid: Poops!
"Solely to reinforce the dark double entendre of 'getting to the other side,' as once the chicken is struck by a motor vehicle, he will be on 'the other side."
jayen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was this kid and tried to go the other way with it, in an attempt to make people like me, so I got up in front of my geometry class on the first day of school and told the following joke:
"Pi R squared, right?"
class nods yes
"Noooo. Pie are round. Cornbread are square!"
No one thought it was funny and I went back to being serious.
bgog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a movie with my son and a preview for "The Great Wall" came on. Its some horror flick about the great all of china. The narrator said in the that movie preview voice.. "They built a wall 1000 miles long..............but what where they trying to keep out."
Mon son say in his most 'Duh' voice: "The Mongols" Cracked me up.
katelyst ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:37:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work as an aide with kids with special needs and can say without a doubt that the students with autism are my favorite, often due to their very linear understanding of how stuff works.
Once during summer program, it started to get dark because there was a storm on the way (visible storm clouds, etc). One of my students noticed it was getting dark out and said, "Wow, the day is going by so fast! The days keep getting darker earlier and earlier. It must be because the Earth is spinning."
His science wouldn't have been too far off if we were heading into winter, but this was the middle of July, bless his little soul.
He has great stuff to share. But I have my little group of friends, and I'm with them all the time. And I just don't enjoy being around him. Not to say he's a bad person, of course.
Seven of Nine agrees, your attempt at humour is irrelevant.
I love the incisive answers to silly questions that autistic kids come up with. It seems strange in response to a chicken joke, but in so many real life situations it's an approach that can cut quickly to the heart of a problem.
I love this answer. "compelled by force" is ambiguous enough to communicate two meanings of the words. The chicken could be either/both compelled by an outside force physically such that the chicken is pushed or propelled and it could also be the chicken being coerced to cross by an authority. It's succinct.
Teacher here. I had a kid two years ago with Aspergers who excitedly told me that I was her second favorite teacher...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an interesting note: asperger's isn't in the DSM or psychiatrists' handbook anymore, it isn't recognized anymore. The more correct way now is to say he's 'on the autistic spectrum'.
Note: I'm honestly not trying to be condescending, and I tried my best to make it come across like that.
Good to know. This was a few years ago. I'll be the first to admit I'm no longer up to date on the appropriate terminology. At the time we used the umbrella term "cognitive impairment" for the class members as a whole, can't remember the exact diagnoses for the individual students.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty recent change. The only reason I know about it, is because I think I might have some sort of high functioning autism, so I read about it a little.
This. This right here. Straight up how Aspergers is. My 22 year old brother has Aspergers, and you can't vent to him without him turning into a member of the Criminal Minds BAU and trying to understand why you are still mad hours after the event occured.
Fuck, I just realised I always do this too. More or less partly because I feel it helps people vent it out and partly because I am instinctively compelled to consume as much knowledge as possible.
This is solely from my experience from working with a few Germans and is in no way meant to be derogatory.
I had noticed that a significant portion of German short jokes follow one of two scenarios, a question with an extremely logic answer or a question with a completely unrelated answer. For example
Why did the chicken cross the road?
1. Because he desired to
2. Because carrots are green.
There were times at work it was hard to tell a joke from a valid question / answer. I did enjoy it once I got used to it. You would ask a quesrion about an instrument being calibrated and get a seemingly correct answer, then 30 second layer find the german cracking up, made for fun times. Plus my people were responsible for the goon show which was both true genius and frequently completely incomprehensible.
It's weird because as a german I absolutely hate these jokes. The worst is when I ask anything that starts with "Why..." and they reply with "Because tree". Makes me want to punch them in the face. I don't have time for your shit jokes Michelle.
IMHO, 'glad' simply infers wishes that nothing bad happens, or relief that nothing bad happened.
eg, "Glad tidings" (eg 'Frohe Weinacht/Geburtstag') or 'Glad that all worked out ok for you'
Are you sure he wasn't just poking fun with you too? I have Aspergers as well, and I use bluntly serious statements like that with a completely straight face for humorous intent all the time... But many people misinterpret that and assume I'm actually being serious, which is why I'm left wondering if that was the case here as well.
azthal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many people with Asperger/autism do have problems with understanding jokes however. I'd assume that a special needs teacher would know roughly where a kid falls on the autism spectrum.
My sisters got Aspergers. If asked why the chicken crossed the road, she would most likely answer something similar, and be completely serious about it, and wonder why the hell I was asking such a stupid question.
jpkotor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:37:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to be that by having the social comprehension to make those jokes and understand other people's possible interpretation of them they you probably don't have Asperger's. Maybe you're just awkward sometimes. I feel like a lot of awkward people somehow get the diagnosis of Asperger's; sometimes it's a self diagnosis and sometimes it's an over confident school counselor thinking they have the clinical acumen to make a diagnosis.
Oh no, I almost certainly have Aspergers (at least, as concluded by several highly paid psychologists I've had the annoyance of having to deal with throughout my youth for that very reason. Not salty, I just felt it was unnecessary to see one let alone many more). And don't get me wrong, there are times when what most would consider to be an obvious joke is so foreign to me, that it flies right over my head leaving me in a discombobulated shamble. But I'm not incapable of humor: in fact I relish the opportunity to make a joke any time I can.
So I feel odd when I see people think of Aspergers this way, as stoic beings based in a world utterly free from all forms of figurality, because it doesn't match up with what I personally know - granted every person is different, and I may just be an outlier here, but still.
What I will say though is that this did not come naturally to me. I've been rather lucky in the fact the I seem to be at least somewhat attractive (I swear I'm not a narcissist trying to toot my own horn here), so most people are willing to get to know me and ignore some of my more awkward interactions in favor of that. Sadly superficial, but it's allowed me to train myself socially and improve in areas I might be more inept in otherwise; even make a surprising(?) plethora of friends. Friends that I share humor with effortlessly all the time now. If I were to put a finger on how/if I could possibly be an oddity on this, that's where my best guess would lie.
There is a comedy troupe called "Aspergers Are Us" which is composed of people with autism. Funny dudes. There's also a documentary about them on Netflix that showcases some of their sketches!
Why did the chicken cross the road, though? I'm almost ashamed to admit that I don't know the joke. Please explain and let me be one of today's lucky 10,000.
as a high functioning autistic person, i'm delighted that you think he's a nut to crack in the first place. what does it look like when you crack the nut? what is the goal?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the goal is to consume the nutritious interior. /s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am is are on mobile
Halluts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:19:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining Drax the destroyer saying this and it's awesome
gnflame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew has Aspergers. He gives me the more dead unamused stare and the most matter of fact answers to any jokes I've told him and his sister. Maybe I'm just super unfunny.
You should have "yes, and..."ed him. "I was thinking the same thing, but who coerces chickens?" Act like youre uncovering some elaborate conspiracy together, idk.
TioBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend forever ruined that joke for me. She asked if I knew that it was a joke about suicide and how the chicken is walking into traffic to go to the "other side"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but your kid is ACOUSTIC (autistic pun that is artistic)
JJRicks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you are into autistic humor, there's a Netflix documentary "aspergers are us", produced by the duplas bros and featuring an aspergers comedy troupe. It was really funny and touching.
This sounds like something my friend (also diagnosed with Aspergers as a kid) would say. However, at this point he understands the joke and humor in general, so that answer would be said rather sarcastically and with a dry smile.
His sense of humor is like the perfect humidity: dry, but not desert dry.
I have no clue what the norm is for these situations.
At this school it was a case by case basis for who was placed in the class. He was also prone to pretty disruptive behavior. Not attention seeking or anything, just when he didn't want to do something or any sort of schedule changes happened, he let everyone know his displeasure. There was a plan to integrate him more and more into traditional classes as he got older.
The special need could be completely unrelated to aspergers. Also, at my elementary school I remember kids being in "special needs" who had little more than dyslexia or speech issues (like a lisp).
Which is honestly probably worse for them. It would be much harder for them to develop socially in that environment, they should just have the kid in the normal class and give him a little extra help if needed.
We swear in front of the 4-year-old all the time. It's not exactly intentional, it just slips out. So we call them 'adult words' and say she can't use those words until she's an adult.
Pre-school and daycare are fucking it all up though: those are bad words, to them, and now it's getting frustrating. "You can't say that, radicallyhip! That's a bad word!"
Reminds me of when I was in first grade and I swept all my goldfish crumbs off my desk onto the floor. My teacher asked if I did that at home and I said yeah. Still had to pick them all up.
If you work with kids, especially young ones like that, you're teaching them whether you want to see it or not. Just sayin'...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:54:14 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still a funny story.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:17:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, yes, if we only allowed actual teachers to post, it would be 3 times shorter.
Also, imagine for a moment that the person changes their post to say this is a teacher-student situation (do they call them teachers when they teach at kindergarten level?). Does anything change about it? Do you read the interaction any different? Not really.
The gist of the question isn't necessarily about teachers per se. People in authority positions over kids may also fit the "bill".
hanzes ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:51:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an EA, I gave a group of second graders a worksheet about main idea and detail. In the instructions, they were told to circle the main idea, and underline the details. One child returned the paper to me very promptly, having underlined the phrase "the main idea" and having circled "the details" in the instructions.
Edit: She knew exactly what she was doing when she turned it in...she's a clever one. She did just fine when I asked her to complete the assignment as expected.
[deleted] ยท 733 points ยท Posted at 01:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
circle the main idea, and underline the details
One job
ForVolvo ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the details were the main idea, and the main idea was a detail, namely, what the details were of.
When I was an EA, a mostly nonverbal kid and I were working on a coloring project. He would hand me crayons when the paper wrapper needed to be peeled back.
One time he handed me a white crayon. It didn't need the paper peeled back. It was just white and didn't show up on the paper.
bh2005 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite teachers had a story from when they were in school. He says the class was given an assignment paper with questions- test style. The instructions at the top of the test were to write your name and NOT answer any other questions. He says he was the only Student who got a 100 because he did exactly that.
The lesson was about carefully reading instructions
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1st grade - got a paper after a MAJOR lecture on following directions, and reading ALL the directions first.
The top part had directions about a story we needed to write, how long it should be etc.... Then it said be sure to read the instructions at the bottom of the page. There at the bottom in tiny print it said "Put your pencil down and relax, don't do anything this page said to do. You'll get an A if there is no writing on your paper".
Of course I wrote my story THEN read that. SONOFA....
I spent the next 10+ years of school ALWAYS reading juuuuuust in case... but it never happened again... Damn tricksters...
As a high school student currently this answer seems legitimate. Most quizzes are on the computer nowadays and when we get a paper quiz most kids flip out because they can't cheat lol.
Europa Universalis 4. A very in depth and complex game that involves ruling over and managing a nation of your choice and their relationships with other nations.
Yes you should try it and yes you can take over the world.
If you play CK2, the previous title in the paradox grand strategy series, you can rule iceland as a norse pagan and go on raids to steal the wealth of the christians and that's when your viking card is seriously stamped!
Try crusader kings 2 if you want Vikings. It's a similar game by the same people in the same engine except it's set earlier (760-1420ish i think, with all the current dlc), and it's more focused on the personal, you play as characters instead of nations. You still get to take over the world
As well as northern ireland. I think the correct answer is "the republic of ireland" as it shares the british isles with the uk but isnt part of it. Idk weird question
NI is not part of Great Britain. GB is England, Scotland, and Wales. That's why the full name for the UK is "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland".
A kind of but not really state of aging IRA and drinking problems, the unofficial UK stance is if Ireland Wales and Scotland could detach from England and float off we'd happily torpedo them.
Country is a pretty vague term. The UK is a state. England, Scotland and Wales are 'countries' within said state. Northern Ireland is... I don't want to go there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 03:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None of those countries were ever part of the United Kingdom. They were part of the British Empire and were colonies of the United Kingdom, not components of the UK itself.
Even today, the UK has colonies (Gibraltar, Pitcairn, etc) that are not technically part of the UK.
In 1707 the Kingdoms of England (of which Wales was legally a part of) and Scotland passed the Acts of Union and formed the Kingdom of Great Britain.
In 1801 the United Kingdom came into being when another Act of Union was passed between the Kingdom of Great Britain and the Kingdom of Ireland. The full title was then the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.
In 1921 after a three year war of independence a treaty was signed to establish the Irish Free State, comprising 26 of the 32 counties of Ireland. The remaining 6 counties became Northern Ireland and remained part of the UK.
The Irish Free state became a Dominion of the British Empire similar in nature to Canada and Australia - this lasted until 1937 at which point a new constitution was established that declared that the state was now called Ireland or Eire in the Irish language. A position of President of Ireland was established to replace the King of England as head of state.
Whilst already being the case in all but name, Ireland declared itself a republic in 1948.
Which brings us to the now. The sovereign state is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, consisting of the countries of England, Scotland and Wales and the province of Northern Ireland. Each apart from England have their own version of self government.
There are a number of other entities that consider the Sovereign of England as their head of state.
The Crown Dependencies consists of Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man.
The British Overseas Territories are generally all the distant islands and outposts, including Gibraltar, the Falkland Islands, etc.
All of these places are generally self governed with the UK being responsible for foreign affairs, defence and technically responsible for ensuring good governance. However, a number of which have threatened to declare full independence if we scold them too much over their awful tax avoidance and money laundering problems.
The last places that consider the British Crown as head of state are a few countries that are completely independent, such as Canada and Australia. The British Sovereign still holds some very minor symbolic or ceremonial position and the UK has no input in how those countries are run.
Is Pitcairn a colony of the UK? I thought with the whole mutiny thing they'd be relatively independent especially since they're in the middle of nowhere.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:51:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to really be pedantic, the sun definitely sets in London every day. Therefore, the sun definitely sets on the British Empire -- unless, as you point out, the British Empire doesn't exist, in which case it would obviously be impossible for the sun to set on it.
That was my guess, and that we are just missing the context that makes it the obvious/correct answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the question was supposed to be, Which country is NO LONGER part of the United Kingdom? Answer would be Republic of Ireland since Ireland is actually an island in the British isles not a country.
I almost contradicted you then realized it was a tricky question, UK of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Though I never think of the regions of UK as "countries" Wales, Scotland and England are government areas like states or provinces.
My mind is having trouble understanding the distinction. Would it be like how in the US certain states have less "impact" because of fewer seats in the House? Or less economic impact? Or are Welsh people and Wales a subsect of England? But Scotland and NI were separate areas pulled into the kingdom? I am going to have to dive into this and see if I can understand what you mean, especially given the use of "country" as opposed to state, states make more sense to me (not in the US sense but the political science sense of the word, whereas countries tend to have a more muddled ethnic meaning, and nation-state being the new identity of previous areas into a political body. Maybe I am thinking to hard.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:12:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes that was perfectly clear. I didn't realize Wales and England went through such a long period of being politically the same, my assumption is probably the right word, was that Wales was more similar to Scotland and Northern Ireland was the piece of Ireland the Brits refused to release to Ireland when they became independent, presumably because of resources or too many settlers that considered themselves English/British or the whole religious division. Either way my main thinking is always along political rather than ethnic lines and I, again assumed, the regions were more of a province/state than separate "country," though United "Kingdom" does I guess connote differing countries. Thanks for the thorough explanation.... now do 19th century India.... just kidding it was corporate owned state, right?
This is very beautifully done, but I would argue that NI is not seen as a country - it's referred to as a Province. There isn't an 'independence for Northern Ireland' movement of any kind that I've ever heard of. Generally, people in Northern Ireland want either to remain part of the UK (Unionists) or be re-joined to the Irish Republic, making a united Ireland or all-Ireland (Republicans).
It sounds as though they commenter was suggesting Wales as a sub-region of England, but Wales is its own country within the U.K. Southwest England is distinct from Wales and is part of England.
One difference for Wales was that it was conquered earlier, in the 13th century.
When teaching my students, I asked "What do we say when someone is being too loud?"
One smartass says "Shut up forever!" (More like, 'for-EHbah').
I had never said this. No clue where he learned it either. I nearly lost my shit, but he wasn't wrong.
The correct answer is "Be quiet, please," which I told him was more polite. He just grinned as if he knew, but didn't care. Smart kid. I'll miss him when I change jobs.
i get this pretty often from my students! my favourite is when i say "please be quiet" to new students and they ask their friends what i said...usually someone will come back with "shut up"
I have a similar situation. When someone offers a woefully wrong answer, I usually respond with "That's a good thought, but..." Once a kid asked what I meant, and another responded with "it means your answer was stupid!"
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 04:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness, I could not be a teacher and hold a straight face.
Teacher/student unrelated, but there's a manager at my work that says "welllll" when he's about to dismiss everything you just said. He says it so often that it's become an eye-rolling joke amongst the rest of us employees.
Ils20l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the right answer for a different question.
zhujik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:27:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the question is "what's some stupid shit to say?"
A classmate of mine was confused about what 'human waste' was, so I leaned over and told him "Shit". It wasn't loud, but the teacher heard me (small classroom). I could see the impulse to reprimand me for language cross her face, but she let it pass when she saw the other guy's look of understanding.
The te-form is a special form of verbs that is used to combine it with other verbs, you get it by replacing the final character of a verb with te or a variation of it. "Kudasai" is the imperative form of the formal form of the verb "kureru", which means "to give". So basically, "te kudasai" would roughly mean "Give me the action of X".
"Urusai" means "noisy", it's more like you saying "it's so hot in here, I sure could use an air conditioner" loudly and pressuring your friend to turn on the air conditioner
When I was on an exchange trip to Japan, a kid walked up to me with his friends said dick to me and walked away.
EDIT:I ain't even made this is my top rated comments.
27153 ยท 867 points ยท Posted at 03:14:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Spain, a group of teenagers continually yelled "pooooosay" and "dick" at me when they discovered I was American.
We were on a long ski lift mixed in with a French school group. They clearly figured out we were English speakers and kept shouting basic English phrases at us with no interest in an answer. One of them really ran with it and just absolutely yelled:
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
over and over again. (Or some similarly banal phrase from English class, I forget).
I'm American military stationed in Spain right now and there was a group of teenagers with their parents and the teenagers were speaking in pretty ok English. What they were saying, however, was a hole lot of "mother fuck this" and "piece of shit" that. The parents kept asking (in Spanish) what they were talking about but they lied and said it was stuff about school.
I was on a class trip on a stop in Verona, we were all around 15 or 16, this group of 12-year-old Italian boys came up to us when they heard us speaking English to each other and started calling us all the different Jersey Shore people's names. And mind you, Jersey Shore hadn't been popular for a few years at that point. It was a weird day.
I too teach English in Japan. One day after teaching my class of 5th graders, I am walking out the door to leave. Amongst all the cries of "goodbye!" I hear "oppai!" (boobs!) louder than the rest of the kids. I knew exactly which boy it was, and turned around, looked him straight in the eyes and said "wakatta" (I understood that.) His face turned bright red and he hasn't said that to me since.
annul ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:21:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ubek ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 04:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Beijing one day at the bus stop and it was raining. A delivery guy on a little ebike stopped next to me and just shouted "Fucka you!!" and drove off into the misty night.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:40:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was your evil nemesis whose plans you just unknowingly foiled.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:34:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean to say cryptic, or are you implying that the delivery guy was a mythical animal?
olegos ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:24:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most common one I get as a resident of Japan is "oh my god". For no rhyme or reason, people just yell this. The other common phrase heard in the wee hours of the morning is "party people, fuck yeah!"
effywap ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:20:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was that kid.. me and my friends walked up to a French foreign exchange student and said "Voulez vu coucher avec moi, ce soir", which translates to "will you sleep with me tonight" (we learned from lady marmalade of course). We thought we were so cool.
If anyone wants to try it themselves it's "็งใฎใกใใกใใฏๅฐใใใงใ๏ผ" or with English characters, "Watashi no chinchin wa chisai desu!" Make sure you have a big smile on your face when you say it to the Japanese exchange student. :)
Taliel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chisai huh. Maybe you should upload a video saying the phrase so we can get the pronunciation right. ;)
Shwinky ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:25:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know any Japanese, but for some reason I feel like you're lying...
I was at a park in Korea and a school group of kids around 11 years old walked by. Four or five of them started waving at me so I waved back. Then a few of them started flipping me off and laughing. Little bastards. So I flipped them off which shocked them but then made them laugh harder, they did make me laugh, cocky little wankers.
When I was at Tokyo Disneyland a long time ago, I had a shirt on with the Nike logo. Some guy came up to me and kept saying "Nike" except just one syllable.
I always thought it was pronounced like "like" with an N, that might have been because my first exposure to it was some character in a book i was reading had Nike shoes.
I'm American and I was surprised to discover that it was pronounced "Nik-e."
RinKiwa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an exchange student to Taiwan and my entire school knew how to say "Premature Ejaculation" by the end of the year. I was pretty proud and tickled because most of them didn't know what it meant
Freshman kid at my high school in Japan called me "ใใณใณใธใฅใผใน" (manko jusu, literally "pussy juice") for no reason whatsoever and when a teacher called him out on it he said "no no no I was saying ใใณใดใผใธใฅใผใน" (manGO jusu, mango juice). Gotta give him props for quick thinking.
My last trip to Japan, I had some kid walk up to me all brave man like and ask me in broken English where I was from. This lead to the ENTIRE class running over and wanting a picture with me. And then getting asked all the questions again and having the teacher tell the entire class.
So somewhere out there is a picture of me out by Diaba station, not too far from Fuji TV, with some middle school class. Ah yeah, token gaijin.
When I was in the Navy we visited Korea, I was walking with a group of friends of mixed races. One particular black guy, a good buddy name a Franklin, was dressed a little showy. Big shades and a red and black leather motorcycle jacket. He rode a crotch rocket and wore that jacket everywhere. We end up walking past a school, and a few minutes later a group of school kids, mostly girls, come running after us and screaming. Apparently they thought he was a famous rapper and we were his entourage. They kept handing him stuff to sign and he didn't know who they thought he was so he just scribbled stuff. Later he kept joking it must have been Jay Z because they're both so handsome, but we (me and the guys with him) told everyone he was Chris Rock.
hikiri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading a story someone told of their time in Japan (or Korea?) where these two little kids were staring at him over the booth of the restaurant, and then pulled their eyes wide open and started chanting "hot dog! baseball!"
In my town in the Netherlands there is a very international community because an American school is located there. The Dutch kids have started to throw insults at anyone that goes to that school, even other dutch people (like me).
Misledz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I served an LDS mission in Guatemala and pretty much every day when I walked past a group of kids they would say nonsensical English phrases laced with swear words, or just swear words alone.
"Oh hello fuck"
"Oh shit"
"Shit asshole"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have said vagina and just let him wonder lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and I went on a trip to Japan and we organised a visit to a high school there. When the principal walked us through the school grounds, a group of girls had a PE lesson, and they all stopped what they were doing to stare at us. Then they started shouting 'I LOVE YOU!!! DO YOU LOVE ME TOO? PLEASE LOVE ME LOTS!!!'
We later taught interested students a few German words, and we got asked again how to say 'I love you. Please love me a lot!' in German. I'm still confused.
This sounds eeriely similar to a situation I had, also on an exchange trip in Japan, a little boy and his friends (in baseball uniforms) asked what our names were, and one of us said, "Matt," and the little boy started shouting, "My name is peh-nis! Peh-nis, Peh-nis, Peh-nis!" and we walked quickly away.
This same thing happened to me in Panama when I said to a cashier that I lived in the states and can speak English.
ivmeer ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 03:15:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English in China from 2001-2003, to university students, aged ~18-19. There was an exercise in their book where they were supposed to write a dialogue and perform it based on some specific situations outlined in the book. One of them was sharing bad news to a friend that you had failed a test.
Two guys get up to perform.
Student 1: How are you today?
Student 2: I am not so well. I failed a test.
Student 1: Oh, shit! That is terrible!
The whole class cracked up laughing. Swearing is much more shocking to the Chinese than it is to people in English-speaking countries, so they thought they were being really bad. I laughed and told them as long as they used it correctly, I couldn't tell them it was wrong.
Besides, isn't that more or less what we'd say to our friends if they told us they failed?
[deleted] ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm not OP but have a similar story you might like.
I went on a school trip to Japan when I was sixteen and the homestay family I was with had a son who was my age. The first time I was introduced to his group of friends, this one guy pointed to his own short spiky hair and said "call me fucking pineapple". Good times.
Smgth ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So like, did he want "fucking" to be part of his name, or was he just really enthusiastic?
self_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One kid knows English pretty well. He spent a year or so abroad with his parents. Compared to the other kids, he's really smart.
He also doesn't realize I know what they're saying. He tries to get the other boys to come up to me and say "bust" as if it's offensive. They haven't learned things like "boobs" yet. They have yet to find something that offends me haha
Also, the eight year olds will occasionally giggle at 'six' and say it like "sek-kus" (sex).
Smgth ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They like you to know some basic things to get around for daily life. Depends on the school and profession. For example, my school wants me to be nearly fluent/fluent but not use it unless necessary in front of the kids. We go on study abroad and things, so I have to be able to communicate with everyone in cases of emergency.
Not op but try learning 2 of the 3 alphabets (spelling) katakana and hiragana, then maybe try attending a class or getting a textbook (genki is a pretty popular one)
Corsair4 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hiragana and katakana are basically required as almost the first thing you learn. You can knock those out in a week if you try. Genki is pretty good, but it isn't the greatest for grammar. A class with a native speaker is preferable if you can make it.
Check this website out, it's what I used and it's pretty good. It's also got MEGA links to free studying resources and, most importantly, raw manga: https://djtguide.neocities.org
If you want my personal recommendations, use the following texts:
Tae Kim's Grammar Guide (Very useful, don't confuse with the Complete Guide to Japanese)
Japanese the Manga Way
The Dictionaries of Japanese Grammar (All three of them are invaluable resources)
Core 6k Anki deck for vocab
Remembering the Kanji (Heavily controversial, might not be for you, but it's the one I found the most useful)
Don't bother with Genki or Imabi. Genki is pretty redundant if you pair it with my recommendations, and Imabi is too in-depth for a beginner to really benefit from it.
If you want to ask questions or chat in Japanese, come to the Daily Japanese Thread on 4chan's /int/ board. It's a very big motivator, at least for me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใใใใจใใใใใพใI'll check some of those out. I've been looking for some resources to compliment my current ใซใปใใ studies.
+1000, although I'd add a recommendation, if you have an android phone, download obenkyo app and use it for hiragana/katakana testing. (real kana also exists on PC), should not take you more than 1 week to learn both. Can also use it with ankidroid on your phone, and paste in kanji you don't know from anki into obenkyo/jisho to find the meaning/strokes/readings.
I don't think anki is the best way to study initially. The reason it works well with kanji is because it shows you the hiragana/katakana /furigana for stuff after you press show answer - Obenkyo works in the same way, but has a hira/kata chart and you can select only 5-10 to test yourself with and go from there. It works on the same SRS principal but is a little cleaner/faster in my opinion.
Don't. Many tutors suck. If you really want a tutor, make sure to couple it with self-learning resources to make sure what you're getting is the real deal and you're not getting scammed like I was.
So, I started with learning and memorizing hiragana and katakana. My uni used the Yookoso! Books, but Genki works as well.
From there, follow the book, memorize kanji, a lot of rote memorization practice along with speaking and tons of writing. I studied intensively (6 hours a day) and passed N3 in 1.5 years and N2 the following year.
Read as much as you can. Find someone you can speak with. Listen to podcasts and practice imitating what you can. A lot of what I pick up are things I heard from my Japanese friends.
Looked up the JET program. Apparently I need to be an English / Education degree holder to be eligible to apply. Also would have a plus to pass the JLPT. I'm in IT so my job's not related at all. Maybe I'll hit the books again - for the degree and the license. I'm not really sure about the money though </3 So.. :(
hoocares ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? No, none of that is true, I don't know where you got that information. You need to have ANY four year degree to apply, it does NOT have to be in Education or English so long as it is bachelor's or higher. You do NOT have to pass any level of the JLPT to apply. You do NOT have to pass any level while you're here, either, but you should try, and starting last year they will reimburse you for the test fee (providing you completed the application for the reimbursement) if you take and complete N3 while on the program. N3 only though, no level below or above.
Possible he looked at being a CIR? I don't know if that role is even around anymore. But, yeah, for an ALT.... being charismatic and adventurous will do the trick.
Ah! That would make partial sense, you do need at least N2 to be a CIR but you don't have to have a specific English or ED degree for it. CIRs are still around, and even the once critically-endangered SEA position (is that the correct acronym? The sports advisors) is making a surprising resurgence thanks to the new educational standards.
In a way, yeah. Imagine you're interviewing a foreign teacher in America, and you ask them "Why do you want to work in America?" and they respond with "I really like Disney movies."
...huh? How is that a reason to want to work somewhere?
It comes off as shallow, childish, and not at all professional.
Depends on how you spin it. "As a child, I loved Disney movies, which first inspired my interest in American lifestyle and culture... etc." Sounds like the start of a perfectly fine interview response to me.
It's also important to remember that they are looking for people to kind of introduce the Japanese students to Americans. Why should they hire the guy with a huge interest in Japanese culture over a guy interested in teaching his culture to the Japanese?
From what I understand it also helps keep the unqualified away. You know, those Japanophiles who would make a fool of themselves and the JET program.
In my case, I do want to try it, but due to depression hitting I wasted just enough funds at college that I need to wait a few years to pay down the loans and start again, so I'll probably be in my 30's before I get a chance to try it
It's not a career.
The 'best' way is get a four year degree and apply to the JET program in the fall.
If that doesn't work out some schools/BoEs hire directly, so look around. If that doesn't work out the easiest way is to get a job at an after-school academy, but that stuff is.... sketchy..
Oooh. Why is it sketchy? Anyway, yes, I don't plan on doing it my whole life. I just want to try doing it for a couple of years before settling down. Thank you for the advice!
jayhens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in Korea, not Japan, so the systems are a little different but I assume the reason it could be "sketchy" is the same in both countries-- after school programs tend not to answer to anyone and you can get screwed over by management
Yeah, however Korean ones seem even sketchier.
With the whole hagwon culture, English after-school academies are much more prominent in South Korea than in Japan. With so many people trying to cash in on the high demand it seems to attract all the wrong types. The number of stories I've read of hagwon owners not honoring their contracts is frightening.
jayhens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a hagwon and honestly the owner was a scumbag of a man, but my contract was honored and I got paid everything I was owed. And there are plenty of schools that are similar or better. But if you get screwed it's incredibly easy to get screwed hard, and if you have nowhere else to go? That's where the horror stories happen.
Honestly it's a matter of luck in your placement.
Edit: also working closer to Seoul is always safer but those jobs are in higher demand
Well, they're private for profit businesses to give you an idea of the atmosphere. As a fresh off the boat foreigner you're easy to take advantage of without the protections of the larger official organizations. Google searching for eikaiwa horror stories can produce some examples.
Make no mistake, there are good ones, but you just increase the chances of having a bad experiences if you go that route, and the contracts usually aren't as good.
If an organisation is always hiring, there is a reason for it.
Sketchy as in you could potentially be put in a dangerous, harassing situation in an organisation that is trying to skirt work laws. Sketchy as in female teachers may encounter their students openly masturbating in class, and male teachers may have female students threaten them into a relationship sketchy. Sketchy as in you may be scheduled for 35 hours and expected to work 60 sketchy, all for less than minimum wage and zero overtime. That kind of sketchy. Stick to reputable organisations, and among those also avoid Interac as they've been involved in bribing scandals lately and everything I hear from people who have worked for them has been bad.
I actually got scouted while I was in university here. I worked at an eikaiwa while getting my Masters in TESOL. I'm not finished yet, but it did get me into my current high school position. They really liked that I'm almost done with my masters, have some teaching knowledge, and am pretty fluent in Japanese.
JET and Interac are better ways to get into teaching as an actual teacher, but those are ALTs while I'm getting my actual license and will be able to teach on my own. Eikaiwas like Nova and Aeon are also good entries to get into Japan to see if you like it first.
A lot of people are suggesting JET but it's important to note that it's the trickiest one to get into. There's plenty of ALT companies like Interac or Altia that do the same job.
If none of those work you can look into eikaiwa jobs, which are like private lessons and tutoring, but they tend to be not as great.
Yep. Stuff like this makes me want to try teaching in Japan for a couple years after paying of loans lol. Sounds fun and interesting, and it'd make for a great change in pace.
this reminds me of when I taught English in Korea. the pronunciation parts were sometimes the most challenging. for the short and long vowel sounds in 'it' and 'eat', it was super hard for them to distinguish, and one day while practicing it someone decided to practice with Shit and Sheet instead. it made for a pretty funny end to that lesson. mostly because nobody got the 'sheet' right, it was just everybody saying shit over and over
JLR- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:40:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss some of those students in Japan. I had one tell me that Santa and Colonel Sanders were the same person as they both look similar and are important during Xmas.
This reminds me of when I was taking Japanese. In class we were given situations that wereโ supposed to have one answer because we were working on vocab. My teacher asked me what I should say when I'm in a dark room with another person, answer being "please turn the lights on". I mixed up my vocab and answered something to the effect of "please leave".
Class got a kick out of it, hopefully she didn't think I was referring to anything...
Having done the same job, you'd be surprised what random English they pick up from pop culture and the media. Everyone at my school knew "shut up" as well, even though we obviously never taught it.
Also apparently they know all about pens and pineapples these days, though my contract ended before that became a thing.
Is ใใใพใใ as offensive as I've had it explained to me? My pop was a PoW in Japan, and he never talked much about it. But there's a phrase/sentence that sounds something like that that means "Shut the fuck up" that he copped in the camps.
Google translate gives me noisy. But it also turns ใใใชใใค into "bastard" as opposed to the "fuckface" I know it as and ใกใใใฐใ into "Town idiot" or "You know what?" as opposed to "fuckhead" or giant idiot. So I feel like it errs on the literal rather than common usage for the words. Like ใกใก being slang for tits doesn't even show up
Sidenote, I have had fun with translators and enjoy swearing in other languages.
Human or machine translation, there's never an exact literal equivalent nor an exact slang equivalent. Everything is only an approximation that works well in some situations but not as well in others.
Is "wise" a positive word? What if I said, "he's a wise old man," and then what if I said, "yeah all right, thanks wise guy"? Without context you can't say anything.
Just a side note, I think ใกใใใฐใ was meant to be written as ่ถ ใใซ where the first kanji means "extremely" (more slang-y though, like "super-duper") and the latter half is just in katakana.
Typing it that way will result in "super stupid" from Google Translate which is much closer to "giant idiot" than "town idiot" or "you know what?"
Honestly, it depends on the context for all of those. I have never used or have heard anyone say ใใใพใใ, but I've read it in manga. The meaning isn't pleasant, for sure.
Was in China earlier this year at an amusement park and a 12 year old kid in front of me in a line was very interested to practice his English with a genuine lao wai. I asked him what words he knew and he said "shit and fuck" and I just happened to be wearing a pair of socks under my jeans at the time that had "I FUCKED YOUR MUM" written on then.
Kid lost it. Literally have never seen someone laugh so much.
I'm an ESL teacher for ages 3-7 in China, and I have a kid like that in one of my classes. Name is Jasper. Smart little devil. One of our stories is "Run, Monkey, Run", which is about six monkeys running a race. The monkeys get sidetracked along the way, till none of the monkeys are left to win the race. The prompts the question at the end, "Where are the monkeys?" Jasper, for reasons I can only guess at, responded "In the fire." I had no retort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xervicx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't there an equivalent to that in Japanese? I know there's one that essentially translates to "Your words are unwanted sound" or something like that. And then there are other variations that are closer to "Don't speak/act" or "sit down and shut up". So it wouldn't surprise me if a word for "shut up" and one for "eternity" were somehow combined to make one common phrase.
See I would love to learn Japanese. It's a very beautiful language. Very pleasant to hear. I also wish to be able to translate the first Inuyasha theme song into English
Xervicx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Those were the two I was thinking about. Thank you, it was bugging me because I knew I knew the words but just couldn't place them.
I think that if you don't have someone to speak with, you won't be able to converse properly, but that's my very personal, biased, and unresearched opinion.
Learning the alphabets, kanji, grammar, listening, reading, etc yeah, no problem. I bought a lot of self-study books and used rote memorization techniques combined with constantly writing, reading, listening, and studying. Of course, I think that having someone to converse with is really important for growth, but no, you don't need a tutor right away. Can they be helpful if used properly? Of course! But if you're confident in your linguistic abilities, then go ahead and try to see how far you can go! :)
Xervicx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh okay! It's something I've been interested in for a long time. I'm basically just looking to learn enough to have a basic conversation, and to understand some Japanese shows/movies without having to spend so much of my focus on the subtitles. I feel like it's like most languages. Once you learn the basics, you can learn everything else easier once you actually start using it.
Did you have to learn Japanese in order to teach in Japan? Or do the students already have enough experience in English in order to communicate well enough?
I'd say the vast majority of people are polite with a small number that aren't. Japanese people are great
[deleted] ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 03:31:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, but my best answer to this is in high school, an English teacher was asking about the poetic reasoning behind why the moon is always used in a feminine context. Guy behind me says "because they're both on a 28 day cycle?"
_Count_ ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 08:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that not the actual correct answer?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:05:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you know to this day I still don't know because the class erupted and the teacher never answered him.
mmmoreos ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 05:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it it was a joke. Could just over analyze everything.
N546RV ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 06:52:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a PE class I was in in like third grade or something. If I recall correctly, we were doing arm circles or some shit like that, and the teacher told us to count "one" on the first circle, and then continue counting every other circle.
Here was the problem: I'd never before heard the expression "every other" prior to that day, and in that moment I interpreted it in the most literal possible fashion. To me, it just sounded like a weird way of saying "count the first circle and every successive circle as well."
So then I was confused as fuck when the entire class was going "one...two...three...four" while I was going "one two three four five six seven eight."
Indeed. I used the phrase in the course of quoting a price once, saying "it will be [this much] for the first one, then this [different amount] for every other one" and the customer started doing the math. Funny incident, I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there.
I got in trouble in the 3rd grade for not understanding "every other" too. It was close to the holidays so our assignment in the computer lab that day was just coloring some dumb cartoon picture of a gingerbread house according to the teacher's instructions. All we had to do was click on each shape, pick a color, and use the paint bucket tool to fill it in.
I was doing ok until she said to pick a purple color and paint every other gumdrop on the roof with it. I remember thinking "every other one besides what?" I think I concluded that the first one on the left was the starting point, so I left it white and only painted every other one besides it.
It became obvious to me that I misunderstood when the teacher saw and started yelling at me, but by then I was tooโ embarrassed to ask what "every other one" meant because I figured she'd just mock me :/
doesn't need to over analyze. could simply be ESL. If that qestion where in Spanish, which is my second language, it would be written with similar terminology and i might have interpreted it the same way.
Nice... I was kind of slow on this one... but I think kids often think on a different level when ambiguity is involved. We're conditioned to understand what questions are asking of us; oftentimes, kids are not. That's why you often hear about those puzzles that kids solve but adults can't.
I hear what you're saying. I was watching "Only Yesterday" awhile ago, and the little girl started explaining how she comprehends division with fractions. I know in my mind that what she's saying makes sense and is logical, but I still can't understand her method.
Is that where she explains how the she flips the number she decides by, and multiplies the two numbers? I think that's how they teach fractions in Japan. Kind of helpful, kind of not.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else do you divide fractions? Multiplying with the inverse of the denominator is by far the simplest way to divide fractions
Is it bad that everything you just said sounds to me like gobbledygook? Like, you sound like you know your stuff, but my mind is blown by the words you're using.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not bad if you've never really encountered these terms before, I don't even register these words as strange, are the only names I know for the things I'm describing but I encounter them a lot in my studies.
I guess that's essentially the same except missing a step. In the UK I wasn't taught about "flipping the second fraction", just "pull the second denominator to the first numerator", then you have a fraction and a whole number.
Could you link it? I'd be interested to see if they do anything more effective than what I do.
The method I was taught, and I've found works best, is to use the property of fractions where dividing by a fraction is the same as multiplying by its inverse - that is:
a / b [%] (that's divided, I haven't got a good key for it on this keyboard) c / d = a / b * d / c
And so I just make it a multiplication thing instead. For some things I just remember what it is (dividing by 1/3 is the same as multiply by 3), but more complicated things I go straight to inverses.
She didn't use the inversion then multiplication method. She just thought of it as division of a fraction by a fraction. I just rewatched a clip of her explanation and I'm still confused.
It seems like she confused dividing by a fraction and it's inverse. She thought dividing by 1/4 is the same as dividing into four, which is actually just dividing by 4. Dividing by 1/4 is the same as multiplying by 4.
Ah, I see! The child in the movie (Taeko) is, in fact, incorrect in trying to divide the 2/3 into 4 parts, because that actually is the same as multiplying by 1/4 (instead of dividing by 1/4 as they intended).
That website, Wowzers, is taking about a different way of looking at solving fraction division - geometrically, instead of algebraically. It first reminds students that division is breaking the first number into parts that are the second number's size (6/2 is 3 because 6 can be broken into 3 parts of size 2).
It then extends that to fractions, breaking up a non-integer into parts that are not integer sizes. 2/3 divided by 1/5 is taking 2/3 of a circle and finding out how many fifths of the original circle are in it - NOT the size of one fifth of the two thirds part.
It's much easier to explain and use this method visually, but the idea is sound as long as you don't get confused. Again, however, the character in the movie is wrong and trying to use their method is incorrect - division of fractions would be dividing the original circle into fourths, not dividing the two thirds portion.
My colleague was telling me about a writing assignment in elementary school where the teacher wrote something like, "Write a story about your life as . . . "
Other kids wrote about their families and friends, or being superheroes or famous people or whatever, my colleague wrote about being part of a family of 3 dots.
I think the polite thing to do is to ask someone on the side. Jokes are like frogs, they die when you dissect them. I still wanna know what my stupid brain couldn't put together but I don't wanna ruin anyone's fun. ._.
"In all letters" means to write out in words, i.e. 'two' and not 2. The kid took each number on the quiz, added one to it (because the question says 'following number'), and then wrote down that number in words. However, the teacher wanted the students to write down each number listed on the quiz and write it in words.
Does that make more sense?
ktkps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for people who lose the funny when a joke is explained or told "too many times" my world is all the happier for laughing now I get it and I'll laugh each time I see it.
ktkps ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:42:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for giving him full points. As a high school kid with a penchant for overthinking simple instructions, I have had many teachers in the past take off points for stuff like this.
Edit: woah
Qikdraw ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I just gave you an upvote for using "penchant" in a sentence.
SiVGiV ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 05:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still pissed that a math teacher in the 6th grade gave me a 50 on a homework assignment because the instructions said to complete at least half the problems using this particular method and I did all of them that way. She wanted us to do half and half but she didn't say to and 100% is greater than or equal to half. Grrr. You're a math teacher for ducks sake!
zerj ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had a similar issue in my Senior Electrical Design course in college. The assignment was to build an alarm clock using discrete transistors and other components, for extra credit we could build it using a PLD. My group said fuck using these ancient wire wrap boards and lets just learn the language required for the PLD and use that. After the fact the Professor claimed the extra credit was to build it using both design methods. Went out for beers instead.
I think full points in that particular case is fine as long as the teacher explains the question after, but from High School forward, reading comprehension and logical thinking is part of the evaluation.
Should add "Writing unambiguous assignment descriptions" to teachers' evaluation.
St4ubz ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The instruction are pretty ambiguous. The question needed to be "Write each of the following numbers in all letters". It is the teachers responsibility to make sure the instructions are clear.
I am 18 and a senior, and all of my teachers know me as "That guy who overcomplicates and confuses everything."
Like, it's a simple word problem, but I provide multiple different trains of logic despite only needing one.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"It depends what his end goal was, maybe there was food on the other side of the road, maybe there was a crazy chicken axe murderer chasing him and he was running for his life, maybe his final destination was on the side of the road he was on all along and he crossed the road for NO reason. Maybe-"
Edit: This is how my brain is programmed to work, I misunderstand/overcomplicate everything and try my best to work around that and provide my own logic to things, and explain why I think that way to the teachers, who are kind enough to attempt to understand me. Normally it saves me from failing, I think it got me through last year.
This is also why I'm also casual in my essays, I have no choice but to explain myself so I just use first person and say why I wrote things mid essay in parenthesis.
But it is underthinking to not take into account teacher intention when reading the question. That is one of the most important skills in life, understanding what someone else is trying to ask.
If you simply read a test extremely literally and try to answer it in a clever way the teacher can't know if you were just dodging the question because you didn't know the real answer.
I think the person who did the test was not trying to be clever or funny. They just thought that was honestly what the teacher wanted, because the wording is slightly ambiguous.
I am not responding to the student who wrote 21: Twenty-two. Obviously that student is showing mastery of the thing the teacher was seeking and even made it harder on himself - no reasonable teacher should take off points in that situation.
This is in the context of the guy who was complaining "As a high school kid with a penchant for overthinking simple instructions, I have had many teachers in the past take off points for stuff like this". I am guessing if you have a habit of doing this you are not doing a good job of reading the context and thinking about what the teacher is asking.
I think the only people who shouldn't be criticised for overthinking are people who can't help it, e.g. people with autism, who read things literally, etc.
path411 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except a lot of teachers like to say stupid things all the time like "MAKE SURE YOU READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST!!!". Then you read the instructions and get points off for it?
Do you work already? If so, you would know they do it for a reason. You can't afford mistakes like that in the corporate world without looking like a retard.
Only if you care. I've spent a silly amount of time thinking about the best names, and I'm convinced that it's worth it. It makes me so happy when I feel that I've really nailed one.
-Piper- ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might also be javascript! That doesn't require a semicolon.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just waiting for the holy war to commence. Semicolons are for people who don't understand the parsing rules yet get messed up by them just as much as those who don't use semicolons. The only case where it seems that ASI is really weird is when you start a line with a [, but who does that?!
While that's true, it's not quite what I was getting at. I'm talking about things like particular class and method names. You know what a class contains or what a method does, but what to call them so that others will correctly guess those things?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see nothing wrong with that, programmers count starting from zero.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He could be many other things. Solely the fact that he interprets a question wrongly, does not have anything to do with his career or job in the future.
You see, you are both wrong. The joke was that the kid thought the following nu.ber would have to be spelled out (4 follows 3, 16 follows 15 and so on). What OP said about the kid growing up to be a programmer is only sensible, if we believe the kid thought number 3 is the fourth digit could ring up from 0, as it is practice in many programming languages. Hence the usage of the infamous 'on-off error' by other posters replying to OP.
To sum up: the kid didn't interpret anything wrong, the teacher Fraser his question unnecessarily complicated. OP made a joke about the on-off error, and you didn't understand neither the original joke, nor OPs jokingly answer to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He isn't interpreting it wrongly.
DanaKaZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THERE ARE NO COMPUTERS HERE, ONLY US FLESH SACS HUMANS! COMPUTERS DO NOT HAVE SUFFICIENT PROCESSING POWER TO BE SENTIENT, HAHA! WE SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT SENTIENT MACHINES, NOT ONE BYTE BIT! SILLY FELLOW HUMAN.
dontal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ofa20 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He spelled out the "following" numbers (AKA: the number that comes after the number shown).
The assignment was trying to get the student to write "3" as "Three", "15" as "Fifteen", and so on. However, the student interpreted the directions in an alternative method, while technically still being correct. It ends up being a play on words.
Gurusto ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could also theoretically be a non-native English speaker. Following meaning two different things that are still similar can be confusing. Threw me off for a bit at first.
Yea, wasn't that what he was supposed to do though... wait... ok.. I get it now.. derp
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still confused. I'm sorry for being so stupid. It's my dyscalculia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The numbers he wrote "follow" the original numbers. It's a play on what it means to write down following numbers. Four follows three, sixteen follows fifteen, twenty two follows twenty one.
Nutcup ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel bad, as I'm down here looking for an answer myself. Once I found it, I realized I'm stoned off the Mary and feeling stupid.
Quajek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Stoned off the Mary"
That's a fun expression. Where are you from?
Nutcup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Midwest, my friend.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write (the following) numbers in (all letters).
He wrote the number which follows the number given in all letters. He took a very literal interpretation of the rules.
See this programmer joke:
A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the grocery store. She says "Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get a dozen".
He came home with 12 gallons of milk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quajek ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:21:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3: IV
15: XVI
21: XXII
Ekudar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are not in full letter, those are in Roman Numerals...which are full letters at the end fuck.
brolix ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:36:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, thank you so much for giving him full credit. He clearly demonstrated the intent of the assignment-- writing out the intended number-- he just used different numbers. Be it in jest or by misinterpreting the instructions, he accomplished the right goal.
I was always a B/C student because other teachers were not so forgiving.
I didn't realize common sense and effective use of context clues scaled inversely with IQ.
I agree he should have been given credit for an ambiguous question, but c'mon with that. I guarantee all the other kids did it the intended way, and it's not because they're dumb.
jivow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee all the other kids did it the intended way, and it's not because they're dumb.
the OP didn't say anything about being dumb. He said that being too intelligent (both 120 and 140 is above average) may give you trouble in the school because you overthink a lot of things. And you're required to follow spirit of the instruction.
In this case I think it is equally possible that the kid just wanted to be funny or that the kid took some time thinking what he actually is required to do and choosing the harder version because ot is a test, they should be challenging and it is stressed to follow the instructions exactly.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even "overthinking".
He read the instructions and carried them out precisely.
The problem was that the instructions were not intended to be carried out precisely; they were intended to be carried out as the writer intended. It was likely that this was the child's first interpretation of the ambiguously-worded question.
pax1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its quite possible that's just how they interpreted the question. When i was in middle school, there was a question that was labeled 21. 6 and I guess i was supposed to take the square of 6 and I read it as take the square of 21.6
tbh that's a very poorly written question. I would have been very confused lol. There's a chance he wasn't even being cheeky and actually interpreted it that way.
Nah. Following numbers mean - the numbers after this sentence. In order for it to be the way the kid interpreted it, it should have been worded - Write the numbers which follow the below numbers
I did the same mistake when I was 8. First time I heard "following". After the first number "1", I wrote "two, three, four" and than asked the teacher how many numbers is enough
lynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband, as a child, was given a placement test for kindergarten. The person administering the test was perplexed at how he confidently gave the wrong answer for the name of every letter...until his mother pointed out that he'd named the following letter for every single one.
If somebody here still didn't get it. Here's the explanation. The assignment was "Write the following numbers in all letters". So the question was to actually meant to write the numbers mentioned below in letters which is for eg: 3: three etc. But the really really genius kid ( I mean literally ) took the literal sense of the question to answer the following numbers ( next number ) in letters. I did take quite a long to figure this out but once I figured it, I was in such awe for this kid.
I teach and coach baseball.
After our short stop got thrown out on second for the third out,I told someone to "pick up Will", in baseball terms meaning get his glove and hat so he can go out to the field.
This kid who was new to baseball, a big lineman type football player, claps his hands and goes "it's okay Will, you'll get them next time."
I cried laughing.
Edit: Will was the name of the short stop.
The kid who "picked him up" was genuinely being nice and thoughtful, but coming from this big intimidating kid it was really funny.
as41 ยท 2850 points ยท Posted at 01:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, similar thing happened in an intrasquad scrimmage with my high school team a couple days ago. Our coach told this kid Sam to "pick up Jacob."
Sam, who is both the worst player and the funniest player on our team (we call him the bench captain), says "that's weird but okay," walks up to Jacob, literally picks him up, and carries him all the way out to left field where he's playing.
I played baseball for 18 years and never once heard the phrase 'pick up Will.'
Edit: Guys I get it. You replace Will with someone's name. I've heard people say 'pick me up.' I thought OP was saying that everyone said 'pick up Will' when they wanted someone to grab their gear.
Edit 2: I had a brain fart everyone. Nothing to see here. I figured it out as soon as I posted my comment. Thanks for all the help!
We use it where I live. Not, "pick up Will", but "pick up [player's name]". To pick a player up means to take their glove and hat to them in the field.
I'm really not sure if you're joking about the fact that "Will" is included, or if you're being serious.
Bigfops ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell it's a name because "Will" is capitalized. Capitalization is is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Yeah I got it. I didn't realize it was a name when I originally commented but I did realize my mistake. Just replace Will with anyone's name and you're golden.
Yea never in my baseball career have I heard that term used in that context. To me "Pick up will" would mean Will just messed up and ended the inning, go out there score some runs if at bat or get three quick outs if you're in the field
Edit 3: no really I'm still here okay guys
edit 4: still here guys thanks again
Edit 5: eating some Mac n cheese reading front page now what'd up with you guys
Edit 6: bored of fp anyone share some dank memes
Edit 7: I was just joking about the dank memes lol I'm not serious
Edit 8: OMG gold?
Edit 9: no srsly guys what was that for how do I use gold?
Edit 10: gonna take a nap now, I'll see yall soon BRB
It was definitely used a lot throughout my time in high school baseball. Fucking position players needing to be picked up man. Thepitcheronlylifeisthebest!!!
qscguk1 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is AMAZING! I laughed so hard I peed a little XD
On a somewhat related note, in high school we had an all school assembly (~300 girls). A teacher was speaking, uses the word "vociferously". The following ensues...
Student (raising hand): What does vociferously mean?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid question, I've never played sports in my life. Is there a difference between teaching and coaching a team? Is teaching exclusively the basics and coaching is getting ready competitively? I always assumed they were terms that (more or less) could be used interchangeably.
My baseball coach has used the phrase "pick up..." in both the terms that you meant and the terms that the kid understood it, all depending on the context. However, the "encourage him" meaning is usually reserved for a bench that's gone silent behind a struggling pitcher, so it's easy top tell the difference.
When "picking someone up" we also got their gear or sunglasses for them but it also meant to make a great play to fix the fuck up.
ex. First basemen boots an easy pick from the third basemen. Coach "pick up ---" or "pick it up." Centerfielder lays out for a liner and gets the team out of the inning. Coach and teammates "good work." Or sometimes picking someone up meant that you gave them some words of encouragement after they messed up, so in your case the big kid did something that makes complete sense to me. But it is funny coming from a big lineman football player.
It always amazes me how sports terminology often sounds like an alien language. I know exactly what all those words mean and yet simultaneously have no idea what any of those words man.
lapret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between teaching and coaching baseball?
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I almost pissed myself Idk why... Have an up vote
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you have to go potty, stop, and go right away. Flush, and wash, and be on your way.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first day in organic chemistry class, the prof was going over basic hydrocarbons, starting with the simplest and moving up. On the fourth one, he pointed to me and said, "Name?" I said, "Uh, remotellama13." He burst out laughing, and said "Well, most of us call it propane."
That would have got a bonus point in the trivia I go to for humour and creativity.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this time last year in class when I was doodling/day dreaming during science class, and the teacher called my name, and I casually answered "yes" to the question not really listening. He said "wrong" and I said "no?" and the class started laughing. At this point I stopped and looked up and he said it wasn't a yes or no question, he was asking me to explain the thing we were learning that day.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in calculus class when the professor was teaching about saddle points. She asked (rhetorically), "Is this a minimum or a maximum?" And I said, "Yep!" and the class chuckled.
I hate this so much. Whenever I have to email an HR department they answer questions like this. If I put an or in a question, I want you to pick one of my two options, not just say yes.
Considering the thread you posted this in, I bet it was the right femur since it couldn't be the wrong femur
Jfelt45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my math teacher. Didn't care if you used a pen or a pencil, so when someone asked, "can we use a pen or a pencil for this test?" He'd just respond, "Yes."
In med school we use pre-dissected cadavers and a work book where we had to label anatomical features that had lettered pins in them. When we were doing the overview of the GI system, my friend thought the sigmoid colon was called the semi-colon
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My godfather is a lobster fisherman, and all of the kids in the family would go out on the boat with him from time to time. There was a running joke with my uncle, dad and godfather. They would get a kid to bait a trap, then applaud them for being a "Master Baiter."
My cousin went back to school after summer vacation and when the teacher asked what she did that summer she proudly stated " I became a Master Baiter!"
Apparentley the teacher was not impressed. Gave my uncle a good scolding over the phone. My cousin would have been 10 or 11 at the time that it was explained to her.
I had a music teacher with the last name Bates that didn't like to be called Mister. He insisted that everyone call him Master. So everyone called him Master Bates.
OzNTM ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher at my school had the last name Behan, when she fell pregnant, we all insisted she call the kid Les.
On a fishing trip when we were fairly young, my brother loudly declared "wow, uncle James, you're a real Master Baiter!!" Years later, they told him the story and my brother would get so red!
I used to help run a leadership camp for young people and one of the activities we did you help with public speaking was a debate that all 30 of them participated in.
We called it The Mass Debate and they were all Mass Debaters.
It was always fun explaining that activity...
Mg1221 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "My godfather was a lobster fishman", i was very confused
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that reminded me of my Grandad. More specifically, of when he died and my parents had to go register the death. My dad was understandably upset, (they hadn't been on the best terms, but family is family), and my Mum was there for moral support. Anyway, they're going through the forms, and it requires a profession. So my dad tells the lady filling in the form 'Baker', since that was the job he'd mostly done. The lady then says 'was he a master baker?' at which point my mum has to take over for about 3 or 4 minutes because my dad is desperately trying not to collapse laughing in the middle of registering his own father's death.
Not a teacher but just a witness to this hilarity. In science class in high school our teacher was talking about electricity and lightning and the effects of being electrocuted. He asked if anyone happened to know what is the first sense you lose when struck by lightning. Without missing a beat, a girl put her hand up and answered in all honesty, "your sense of humor?"
Class had to stop for a few minutes until everyone could regain their composure.
Edit: apparently, electrocution specifically refers to death by electricity so in the future when I tell this story, I will remember to refer to it being "shocked".
ratsta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were out walking one day and saw a new shop being outfitted. My mum asked one of the guys what kind of shop it was and he said "A hearing-aid shop".
My mum is a little hard of hearing but refuses to admit it. She asked "A what?"
Apparently the guy scowled, thinking that she was taking the piss :)
Myself and wife and dog were trying to get back in our house after a walk before a thunderstorm hit. I was opening the door as lightning hit an old satellite antenna that is on the roof of our place we're renting. Feet away from us.
I can tell you it's super bright, but you can't hear shit for a bit. It's so loud it knocks you down. Lightning is crazy
You're generally not looking right at the bolt and the flash is quick
Sokorai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About a year ago some dude drove me home with his car. Nearing our destination we got into a pretty heavy rainstorm. It was quite a downpour but nothing too crass and the lightning looked awesome as it webbed across the clouds.
Well until it struck a few meters in front of us into some random bush. Couldn't see shit for a good few seconds
Are you sure that's true? I would've assumed it's like when you run phantom power through a ribbon mic and it causes the ribbon to pop, basically running electricity through your body could just pop your eardrums. Like I said I don't know if that's true or not, but even if you were really close I wouldn't think that thunder would be loud enough to completely destroy your eardrum.
joker38 ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the electricity cutting through the air that makes the sound. The reason it's so loud is that it's happening along the entire length of the bolt. It's not like something snaps up in the cloud and then the bolts drops down. What you're hearing is the air becoming superheated as the lightning passes through.
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's happening along the entire length of the bolt.
Okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
Still, I imagine the effect must be weaker farther away from the origin, cause the branches of a bolt get thinner and should also get cooled down a bit compared to the origin.
Not significantly. The smaller branches can quiet it down somewhat, but you have to remember that it's not something hot falling from the sky, it's an electrical charge passing through. There is (roughly) the same amount of electricity at the end as the beginning (minus some loss for resistance I imagine, but not a lot), so even if it is spread out, it is still the same total and is likely still mostly in the same area. Electricity finds the most efficient route to ground and it will pretty much all drop to the same point. Also, there is no heat in itself, there is only electricity which causes the heat.
It will be quieter, but still plenty loud to rupture your eardrums.
what is the first sense you lose when struck by lightning
Emphasis added for effect.
tjsr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:08:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a few million volts superheating air to create a vacuum, then that vaccum rapidly filling up with air. That creates a massive pressure wave - which you hear as thunder - right next to your ears which are sensitive to tiny pressure waves to let you hear normal sounds. Your ears don't deal with that too well.
Do you know why hearing goes first? Maybe ELi5 because my last anatomy class was high school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the question is addressing how light travels faster than sound, so if the lightning both made you lose your vision and hearing, you would lose your vision first.
mada447 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm already deaf, so what's the first sense I'd lose?
You would think your sense of time would skew before your hearing, with everything going on that is a lot of adrenaline... Interesting though nonetheless.
Teuthex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say your sense of direction, sense of mortality, eyesight and many other senses would be affected long before the full crack of thunder hits your ears.
Formally, the words electrocute and electrocution always imply fatality. Informally, however, these terms are rather often used to refer to serious but nonfatal electric shocks. Standard usage is to reserve electrocute and electrocution for fatal electric shocks, and to use shock or electric shock for nonfatal ones.
And from the Oxford dictionary:
Injure or kill (someone) by electric shock.
Edit:
Their usage of the word is a common variant and no one was confused by it. Splitting hairs over definitions when no one was actually confused is needlessly pedantic.
Objection: no it is not. A lot of people seem to want the definition to be death by electricity, but insisting something repeatedly does not make it so.
ab-Owen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other way around. Language is fluid (both good and bad) and I get that, but formally the etymology is a blend of electricity and execution. So a bunch of people that don't know how to speak good 'insisted repeatedly' on not knowing the proper definitions made it so.
As my link explains, while the word's etymology is literally as you describe, the new word was quickly adopted to mean "suffered electric shock" and "died from electric shock". If you're going to be that pedantic and insist that the word can only mean what its two parent words mean when combined (execute and electricity) then the usage "died from electrical shock" is ALSO inaccurate, since "died" and "executed" are not synonymous.
ab-Owen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed with everything you said except the fact of people insisting it means only death. I am saying it is the other way around it meant only death and other people insisted on its meaning be more. And I don't think that was an intentional expansion of meaning but by ignorance.
Your link explains it and yes you are correct the words it came from do mean that literally.
electrocute |iหlektrษหkyoอot|
verb [ with obj. ]
injure or kill someone by electric shock: a man was electrocuted when he switched on the Christmas tree lights.
In regards to your edit, because so many people say electrocuted when they mean shocked, I believe the definition changed. It no longer requires the victim to die
erfling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrocution used to only refer to death, but it's meaning has shifted and the only way to be actually wrong about it is to insist that something other than usage creates meaning.
Q. Describe the bus ride at the beginning of the chapter.
A. It was a bus ride filled with action, but also with emotion.
Q. What happens at the end of the story?
A. The story ends.
Kid's going to be a politician someday.
[deleted] ยท 630 points ยท Posted at 02:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am telling you this bus ride was the best bus ride I've ever had! Listen to me! Listen! People come to me and say 'Have you ever had any bus ride like this?' and I honestly say to them 'No, that is the most incredible bus ride ever!' Just amazing."
I think it was sixth grade. Our English teacher assigned each of us to write a story based on one of the characters in a painting. Randomly assigned people. I got the lady with one leg on crutches who was talking to another lady.
So of course my story was told from the perspective of the woman's inner monolog.
"Why does she always talk to me? She knows I hate her, but she just won't stop. God I wish I could kick her right now."
Basically stuff like that, though I remember it still because of the kick her line. Whole class burst out and teacher stopped me from reading any more. He so stopped calling on me the rest of the year, so win win.
In 9th grade, my teacher was given a six week vacation, so we had a sub and all these silly "quizzes" each day about the book we were reading, Animal Farm. The last two questions were "what do you think will happen in next chapter" and "in the end". I eventually got tired of writing it and said '"They're all going to die" over and over. She came back and laughed and said "well your not wrong..."
Edit: fuck you guys really care about grammer. I'm sorry.
"In other news, a local man was found dead in his home last night. Apparently he collapsed shortly after reading something on the internet which caused what doctors are calling "an aneurism so massive it was recently believed to be impossible." It is unknown what information the lethal sentence contained that led to this fatal injury."
We only had the quizzes because my teacher had to "go on vacation" last minute. When really, there was a troubled student in our class who use to push her buttons all the time, and one day, when she kicked him out, he started screaming at her. It escalated, he pushed her, so she started whopping his ass. It was a strange sight cuz he was almost two feet taller than her. But the minute she pushed him back and said "Your momma's gonna take out the leather for this!" He looked terrified.
The security guard was stationed near our class, so she only got a few licks in. The boy was suspended and sent to a behavioral school. The teacher was suspended for six weeks. This kid was really a pain and had been causing problems for months, so they were understanding of her snapping.
We were only allowed to read it in class, we were not allowed to take the books with us. I'm surprised we had books to read at all. When we read "To Kill a Mockingbird" all we had were print outs of important parts to read.
Rayne37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
print outs of important parts to read.
Please tell me you eventually got to read the whole book? Books aren't just for important plot points. If you cut out the descriptions and smaller interactions you lose the feel of the book, and the enjoyment of another place.
Sorry just the idea of reading a book in print out partial form hurts my heart. What was that school thinking?
I haven't read it fully unfortunately. It's on my list. And the school was thinking that it couldn't afford real books. I went to a school that was on a list of top ten worst county School systems when I went there.
Just finished reading Animal Farm in grade 10, I found the book online and read it in a couple hours over a weekend, far before the class got it. Lets just say, it wasn't my favorite book.
We only had the quizzes because my teacher had to "go on vacation" last minute. When really, there was a troubled student in our class who use to push her buttons all the time, and one day, when she kicked him out, he started screaming at her. It escalated, he pushed her, so she started whopping his ass. It was a strange sight cuz he was almost two feet taller than her. But the minute she pushed him back and said "Your momma's gonna take out the leather for this!" He looked terrified.
The security guard was stationed near our class, so she only got a few licks in. The boy was suspended and sent to a behavioral school. The teacher was suspended for six weeks. This kid was really a pain and had been causing problems for months, so they were understanding of her snapping.
gfyhue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck you guys really care about grammer
Fuck, you guys really care about grammar
OR
Fuck you, guys (everyone on the internet is male) really care about grammar
When I was in 5th grade, instead of taking quizzes, our teacher would have us write our own quizzes with an answer key. So we would have to write 10 short answer and 10 long answer questions, etc.
Well I thought I was so smart one time because for my long answers, I wrote "Answers may vary." The following week, the teacher had added an explicit "Answers May Vary is not an acceptable answer."
That actually reminds me almost 4 years ago during my 10th year of school (out of 11 in my country) when we had a quiz about a book I didn't read and the teacher asked for the reason why a character got depressed when he went to jail and I actually answer something like: is there anyone who enjoys being there?
Okaaran ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What went wrong with the boat? 'Well the fron fell off. I'd like to say that that is NOT normal'
I don't think a lot of teachers realize kids have senses of humor. We used to put stupid answers on lots of our tests, or during classes, and draw pictures on them and stuff.
My maths teacher tried to give us a test on the last day of year nine. "But Ms Shithead, it's the last day. The other maths class is playing games. you can't grade us on this because we already have our reports."
"Do the test anyway, and I expect you to maintain test conditions."
So we all say there and quietly filled in our tests. I believe I wrote a long review on the 6th Harry Potter book, and drew a picture of a horse. Something like that.
I read that in Troy Barnes voice from community and it works well
Typed01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a good guy. I noticed at a young age some teachers have an amazing tallent to pivot answers so that kids are not afraid to answer even if they are wrong. And most don't bother. Good on ya.
Thanks! I always tell the kids I prefer an outlandish guess to a blank space because there's a minuscule chance they'll be correct. This kid was technically correct and made me realize I needed to ask for specific details.
I have posted about this before. I am not a teacher, but my wife is an elementary school teacher.
The kids were practicing their twos times tables and the question said something along the lines of, "John lives in his house with his mom, dad, brother, and grandpa. How many total hands do the people in John's house have all together?" The answer they were looking for was 10 and they wanted the students to show that 2ร5=10. This young man instead wrote, "Not enough information. What if someone lost a hand?"
He wasn't wrong. My wife just wrote, "Good thinking" on his assignment and gave him full credit. The kid was bright and knew his times tables, so that wasn't an issue. She also had his older brother as a student and said they were both smart, but jokesters. My wife now teaches kindergarten (this was when she taught 3rd grade) and said she misses the funny responses on test. She used to have a full word document of the funniest answers.
Edit: Apparently my use of "full word document" isn't correct. Y'all can stop messaging me about that. She had a word document of crazy things kids have said over the years. I don't think she has it anymore.
78723 ยท 1904 points ยท Posted at 00:56:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister taught ESL in a college in north Texas. She would save all of the funny responses that her students gave to test questions and periodically send them out to the rest of the family under "Students Write the Darndest Things." She had quite a few Word documents...
ev0lv ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:32:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you still have access or remember some you should share :)
Oh I'm sure she has them so I will ask her to send me some. She had international students from all over the world and some of the responses are actually pretty cute and some of them she said she just wanted to write WTF on LOL
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might have seen one of these on 9GAG a few years ago (when I still browsed 9GAG). I remember a drawing vividly: it carried the phrase "SATAN IZ GRATE" beside a drawing of an old red man with a beard.
She never posted anything online. She's not into social media of any kind but she would send the documents to her siblings and our parents. We always got a huge kick out of them.
That's why she had to quit teaching grade 3. She wouldn't have been able to record any more funny things if the kids said them because her Word document was full.
aibaron ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I've ever filled a Word document to capacity! That's impressive.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming it's poking fun at the concept of a word document being "full" when in theory you could continue adding pages indefinitely. There may be a limit on file size but who knows what that is.
I had a kid holding his girlfriend's hand during a typing assignment and told him he'd type faster with two hands on the keyboard. He told me his mom had one hand and types just fine. Nothing to say to that one.
I'm fairly certain I've seen this on Facebook. But like the kid mentions people who lose limbs in the war or something
TRHess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a story floating around where the kid writes "visit woundedwarriorproject.org" after his answer. Patriotically and humanly endearing in the best sense if true, but I'm skeptical it actually happened. Never know though.
Good for her, when I did things like request more information to clarify it was always treated with distain. I was legitimately asking though.
It wasn't until like 5 or 6th grade that I finally just started writing the answer I knew they wanted and then adding a little clause about "with what I was given"
Which also landed me in hot water with my nun (my Catholic school had nuns for teachers).
One of my professors would love that kid. Although if it were a test he would require something like: "assuming that all 5 residents of the house are real, and that they each are in possession of an number of hands, that is equal to two, it can be shown that iff all 5 residents are present and there are no other persons or hands that are not in possession of a resident present within the house, it can be shown that the house contains 10 hands."
I was in AP Biology and we were talking about Punnett Squares. The question was "The parents have brown eyes and the child has blue eyes. How did this happen?"
I raised my hand and asked her what color eyes the mailman had.
jejx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've taught the kid Occam's razor
Sekka3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Not enough information. What if someone lost a hand?"
Well I've gotta HAND it to the kid, because I was not expecting that.
mazzicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm higher grades you get ridiculous questions where they overstate the obvious like "they all have the normal expected number of hands with a typical amount of fingers"
Obviously not an engineer or physicist. He was to assume everyone had two hands. Also, the classroom was in a vacuum and gravity can be estimated as 9.81m/s2 .
Zak_MC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a question on a great that stated that a population of rabbits exponentially grows at a given rate, and asked for the population after a certain amount of time given that you have one rabbit on a particular day. Most people in the class worked out the exponential growth problem, one student answered 1, because rabbits cannot asexually reproduce.
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a little smartass, and when I encountered those questions, I would write "10 unless someone lost a hand".
This continued well into adulthood, when I finally graduated from elementary school.
Kid is seriously too smart for his own good. A few times looking at test questions I've thought "I understand this, and I know the truth, but I also wonder if the person writing the test realized that." Sometimes it made test taking more difficult- the scantron is not so understanding as your wife, and few test writers take any time to word questions in a way that's truly unambiguous.
jaulin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In gymnasiet (school at the age of 17-19 in Sweden) we gathered so many hilarious quotes from our class teacher. He was also our physics/maths teacher, and it was so easy to get him to go off on a tangent, making the class fly by. We could mention almost anything from an arbitrary scifi show or documentary, and he'd point out why it was wrong or stupid. He was also pretty old and lonely, and gave zero fucks about how he spoke to us. I think we all both respected and and laughed at him for that. It was sad when he died a year or two after we graduated. The school we went to closed down, and I seriously suspect he had nothing else in his life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a buddy of mine in college, J, who was legendary for his witty responses in class.
We were training to be RAs and the residential life person asked, "What are some things that as an RA, you shouldn't do in your dorm room?" People were saying stuff like drinking, etc.
J raises his hand, gets called on, says, "Practicing medicine without a license."
The trainer was like, "Uh, yeah, I guess that's true."
Same guy was in a film class. Teacher asks, "What technique defined the scene we just watched?"
J raises his hand, gets called on, says, "Long, awkward silences."
I took a course in Religion, and one part of it was etics & morals.
Our teacher asks us to discuss if it's morally acceptable to raise the price of umbrellas during rainy weather. One guy lifts his hand and says, "that's how you make money so I don't see the problem." Another guy turns to him and says, "Imagine a hungry Jewish person going to the supermarket to buy food, and finding out that all the prices have been raised." to which the first guy counters, "Yeah, uh, a jew would never pay that much to begin with!"
Everyone gasps, and the teacher looks him dead in the eye and says, "<guy>, the Jewish people have been exposed for hundreds of years. Do you really think that is an appropriate thing to say?"
We all look at the guy in silence, until he finally speaks up, "I mean... I think it's about time they get over it."
Lots of older movies had long scenes with a character just driving or doing something mundane. The most recent movie I can think of that has similar scenes is Drive but I honestly don't remember the movie that well.
Anything by Tarkovsky, Bela Tarr, Pedro Costa, Ingmar Bergman and Michael haneke. There are many, many more but these should do. And yeah, Drive does have a lot of silence.
Me in my US History since 1869 my second year of college:
Professor: What do you guys know about Joan of Arc?
Me: She was the first french fry.
Proessor: ..... No..... (She was trying not to laugh)
Professor: What are some companies like Lockheed (I go to school in Georgia) that get defense contracts from the US government?
Me: Stark Industries.
And my personal favorite-
Professor: Reagan essentially formed the Republican Party into what it is today. What were some groups of people who voted for Reagan who would still vote Republican?
Me: The racists and homophobes.
I did not get to answer any questions the rest of the semester...
I am not saying all Republicans are racists and/or homophobes, but I do believe that the majority of racists and homophobes are Republicans. Most of my friends are Republican, and I know they're not racist or homophobic.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:55:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SquidCap ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 10:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not every country has a college.. What i mean is that internet is global, i can't use abbreviations that are only used in my country when i'm talking to you, i don't know where you are from. Someone has to remind you guys every now and then that there are 6 billion of us in the planet.
No, you can use your abbreviations happily, and people will ask you what they mean. It's a process known as learning.
Also I would gladly wager that there is at least one university in every country in the world. Except the Vatican City.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Universities in the Netherlands don't have 'dorms'. Students live in apartments in town. Often in specially built 'studentenflats', but those are just apartment buildings, only with tiny apartments (my room was 20 m2, IIRC) and with a shared kitchen.
Neither does the UK as far as I'm aware, despite having a sort of mix between the two living systems. I think the US mostly has RAs as a mediator because of the shared living situation, such as the bedroom. Also cheaper than hiring security staff too.
SquidCap ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 12:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College != university. A non US person would know this already, hell, we learn this when we start watching american TV..
Good thing I'm not American then. College here (the UK) refers to a specific educational facility from the ages of 16-18. College in pretty much all of North America refers to University. In fact, even some non-North American countries use that term.
We could have avoided this conversation if you explained your definition of college, we live in a global community after all.
So you want us to explain every single word or abbreviation we use at all times, because you might not know it? How about, you can try not being lazy, and you can look it up on your own? Or you can politely ask what it means instead of insisting that others are being rude?
SquidCap ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 11:58:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just don't use abbreviations that are only used by one group of people in one country in one age group. You do realize how small in the context of "the planet", the US college graduates who have lived in a dormitory actually is? It takes a bit of effort to see that when you are in the internet, you are ALWAYS at global stage. It is very rude to others.
Do you know what comes up if you type RA in to google? Try it...
So what if the next time you give at least some clues what you are talking about, in case the listeners is NOT exactly the same age/demographic/social status/educational status than you? You know i'm right. Pedantic but right. We have to do the same, all the time.. In a sense, there is only one nationality that automatically expects everyone else to be same and it is not their job to convert measurement units, dates, abbreviations used only in that country etc etc.. Everyone else in the world has to think about cultural differences, why should you have any right or exceptions? If you don't want non-US in your internet, cut the cords to the rest of the world.
We usually let these slide as we would have to seriously follow you guys around and correct mistakes all day long, i do this about once a month; remind someone that they live on Planet Earth, we are all humans and we need to communicate better. Everyone else has conformed but USA, the home of the Exceptional Hominid.
And FYI, if you google "RA" and some context words from the original comment, you'll figure out what it means really fast. Words like "college" or "dorm room" will get you there.
SquidCap ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, i have no care for downvotes and if you think that it is some sort of indication if person is right or wrong, you are deluded.
As always, i have to finally say this: You are one person. Your post is read by thousands. Your solution is that you get away easy and the thousands of people are required to decode your message? When you say that i'm lazy for not googling, you admitting of being equally lazy but the difference is that my laziness affects only me, your laziness affect thousands. Sometimes millions.
Think how your actions propagate and at what point optimization is best done. Should we compress the message and inflate it at use-end or do we do the heavy lifting at our end and offer easy to understand message in it's full form to the recipient. This question becomes stupidly easy when we add that the recipient will be interpreting the message using incomplete set of information.
I swear, if you EVER have kids, dont be surprised to find a tale about you on /r/raisedbynarcissists or whatever the new equivalent may be. You are actually an idiot. Im not going to change my abbreviations because "WAHHH I DONT KNOW IM TOO DUMB TO LOOK UP WHAT RA MEANS WAHHH".
There were plenty of others who were confused, asked politely, and got an answer. You are being full of yourself and need to learn that the world doesnt revolve around you. Should people from the UK stop saying roundabout? Should Aussies never again utter Hungry Jack's?
No.
Shut the hell up, you are not the only person in the world. A majority of people understood what it meant and those who didnt asked and learned it. Stop your moaning and continue on with your life.
SquidCap ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW, roundabout is VERY common description for roundabouts. I don't actually even know any other name for it. What is Hungry Jack's? I have never heard about it. BTW, pogoing in provinssi was super fun, don't you think? What? You don't what i'm talking about? Everyone in Finland does. I'm from Finland, and according to your logic, i have no obligation to even consider that this info most likley is know only by couple of million. But it is well big enough portion that i can say that it is common knowledge. Locally common but since i don't have to care at all if the recipient knows hat i'm talking about, miten olis jos vaikka haistasit housujas. What, i'm suppose to use language you know? Not according to you.
I am the only one who bothered, big difference. Facts are that there is significant portion of people who read that comment that did not know what RA was, either didn't care as it is kind of irrelevant (but still mentioned so not irrelevant to you), used context to arrive at some guess or figured it out. But the facts still are that a LARGE portion did NOT receive the full message and that was ONLY because you expected everyone to be murican in this site, as it is with all other websites you visit that are in english and hosted in USA.
How about metric? Ok, i'm just irritating you on purpose and i admit it but dude: your dates are scrbmaled. You don't have any kind of logical standards on measurements. So to me, that only sound like your country wants to be exceptional and does not want to conform in other areas too. So, should you just cut the cord to outside since it doesn't matter to you, at all.. As demonstrated here. You did not think about this before i mentioned and you are angry at me for pointing that out. Deal with it, we are here and we are not going anywhere.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Again, it is NOT dumbing down if a person does not know a cultural reference. There is nothing wrong with my brain or my cognitive functions. There is a gap in my knowledge, gap that is TOTALLY irrelevant to my life in any way. The only ones who need to know this are student in USA and their parents and friends. The moment i have a chance of visiting a dormitory, then i need to know about it.
"or those invested enough in American culture to be browsing reddit " Yup, i told you that this is in behind it all; you feel USA is so exceptional that everyone needs to know about your quirks. And you mistake intelligence with trivia. Think how this thing actually works.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the step you're doing that others aren't. If you just upload an image and use the URL the site gives you it'll be an album link. Getting the direct image link takes extra work.
Oh, it's become so ingrained in me that I never even realised it. Anyway, it makes no sense why they would make it default to an album, aren't the majority of uploads single images anyway?
it really doesnt, /u/HououinKyouma1 just did some extra steps. rightclicking the image and copying the image location is just as fast as clicking the URL and copying that
STORY TIME: Had a teacher, let's call him Polly. My friend missed a test, he told her to come in during lunch. So she did, before he gave her the test, she was like, "Mr. Polly, you look SO good today," and started complimenting him. She sent me a picture of her answers so I could check, but I didn't get the text in time. She bombed the test, but stayed afterwards to talk to Mr. Polly. Bitch gets a fucking A on her test.
Rath12 ยท 555 points ยท Posted at 23:55:44 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
98 more subs until they reach their 10k goal for having absolutely no content. Kind of endearing how almost 10k redditors banded together just for a random joke sub with 0 post.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She sent me a picture of her answers so I could check
teachers would actually give you an opportunity to take a picture of your test? smart phones didnt really become a thing until I was in college, but it was always made clear that even looking at your phone during a test could be considered cheating and you'd fail the exam.
Meh. When I was in 8th grade my Lit teacher gave me a B+ (88/100) on a project that I never turned in. I always wondered whether she just cut me a break as an otherwise exemplary student, or if she mixed up my score with someone else's.
This is why pretty girls get to be in their twenties and have a fucking existential crisis because now they're expected to be smart and independent and have it all because they are pretty- when they've been handed everything on a silver platter. All of the while having no idea how the world really works. TBH w you I went through this. I am twenty five and when I don't get my way I literally stamp my feet. I'm awful. I cannot tell you how many times I have laid on the floor bawling my eyes out because I'm so upset. I have the sense to do it alone and pick myself up but I can't help but do it because I have always gotten my way, so initially the shock is so real I'm just overwhelmed.
their were these pretty girls in my college lit class, the professor was like 70 or 80 years old and every class they would flirt with him and ask him about his grandchildren and suck up to him, i guarantee they got an A or B in the class even though they were both fucking stupid as hell..
I was actually super super happy this never happened to me. My friends and I would joke about a hard class like 'can't I just suck his dick lol' but I only had one prof hit on me and it was after the class was over. I still got a c so clearly I didn't get off easy! All others as well I was always one to take advantage of office hours both TAs and profs- and they were all very professional and helped me w no other intentions. It's actually kind of demeaning when they do- makes you feel that's all your worth.
stef4x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn. That's pretty bad. I know a couple of girls who get everything handed to them, they aren't in their mid twenties yet, and honestly even though it might be a little mean, I will laugh at them, if they throw a tantrum at that age. I sincerly hope you'll manage, but at the same time screw you for having a nice life handed to you all the way to your mid twenties. As long as you are trying to improve yourself and learn how to be a better human it's all good though. Don't just continue being a stubborn spoiled lil' shit.
Eh, my post was a lil dramatic as I tend to be. And yours was a bit harsh and assuming. I never said I was spoiled. Far from it, I have lived alone since I was 15 and never really knew my dad nor spoke unless he was wiring me money for the groceries I was buying myself at 15. He was my only parent. I explicitly said I don't throw tantrums in public. I suppose it's also not necessarily when things 'don't go my way'. It is when something bad happens, but as I said, if in emotional about it I will cry- and hard. Which is a bit of my personality because my mother died so I know what true pain feels like. At some point I hope you learn to attempt to understand others points of view, rather than reading one post that doesn't encompass them as a whole at all- and attack their entire being. That surely has never made progress. So I can give you the same suggestion you gave me- just try to be a better person.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught middle school and boys and girls would say this. There was no flirtatious intention and it was always said to be funny, phony flattery if you will, not a genuine attempt to influence me.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:10:06 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11.
redditRW ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 03:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not especially funny, but I've thought about it for a long time afterwards.
I was substituting for an elementary ESL class. There was one young boy from Africa. We asked the kids in the class what three wishes they would like, if they could have anything.
This young man said:
1) New Shoes for my mother.
2) School all year.
3) Roast chicken for dinner.
Most of the other wishes had to do with toys or candy. This kid was focused.
Leldy22 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 12:57:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lyrtil ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as tragic as OP's story, but this reminds me of my little brother. One day at his school every kid of his class had to write what they wished for on a poster. He wrote, "I wish cafeteria prices were lower."
Not related to the thread, but in San Francisco there is a street in the notoriously gay part of town called "Uranus Terrace". I know it's not true... but my brain tells me that's latin for rough gay sex.
[deleted] ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 23:47:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was actually an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh named "Sham Pooh". It was about - you guessed it - someone impersonating Pooh Bear
At the end of the episode, Pooh and friends slide to the next world, but it is left ambiguous whether or not the real Pooh or the Sham Pooh slid with them. Rumor has it the creators had planned to reveal it was the Sham one but dropped the plot line.
Push ate his feelings, Eeyore contemplated suicide, tigger was hopped up on drugs to cure his ADD, piglet was too scared to do anything and Christopher was committed to a mental hospital for schizophrenia.
Not a teacher, but this was something I remember from high school.
We had a quiz about the 1960's in what I think was either my sophomore or junior year. One of the questions was, "John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do..." and we had to fill in the blank.
We were doing a peer edit of the quiz the next day with another class' quiz. When my teacher got to the JFK/RFK question, someone raised their hand and said, "My guy wrote down 'JFK and RFK were the first two brothers to do... Marilyn Monroe?"
Mr. Q's reply was, "Technically, that is kind of correct, but dock a point off anyway because the real answer is 'run for president.'"
TL;DR: The Kennedy brothers claim to fame isn't running for office... it was doing Marilyn Monroe.
*Edit: I noticed that a lot of people commented on how badly worded the question is/was. For the record, writing is not my strong suit, this happened about ten years ago so I can't remember how the question was worded, and my teacher sucked. And now that everyone has brought it up, I regret not putting down "get assassinated" as the answer 'cause that would have been awesome!
l3alance ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely thought this was going to take a much darker route with both being presidential candidates who were assassinated. Pleasantly surprised
My comment was a Barbarella reference, apparently, a durian is a type of fruit that tastes like cheese...TIL
Edit: and a band...which took its name from that okay. " Duran Duran took their name from the mad scientist Dr. Durand Durand, a character in the film." - http://duranduran.wikia.com/wiki/Barbarella_(film)
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:31:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't the problem, though. The original problem was a fill-in-the-blank:
"John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do ______________"
I never said my history teacher was very good at his job! Seriously, he's our school's basketball coach and I had the misfortune of having him for three years (history sophomore and junior year and government in senior year).
REkTeR ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:52:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, let's not make a big to-do over it.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, bad sentencing there. It would have been alright to have written "John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do what?" That sentencing is the thing that bothers me the most... aside from the fact that it's not exactly confirmed that Monroe ever had an affair with either one of them, much less both of them.
Sorry about the bad writing. This happened about ten years ago, so I don't fully remember how that question was phrased.
And plus, writing doesn't come naturally to me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" is the only actual evidence of her and JFK being in the same room, and even then, she was on a stage and he was in the audience.
The best part of this article is when they talk about J. Edgar Hoover making agents watch the video intently and bringing in hookers to see if it matched JFK's junk.
Either OP's question actually ended with "the first brothers to..." and the "do" was only in the Marylin Monroe part, but then then answer would be little less funny imo, OR OP is a big fat liar who invented the story for karma. Either way, story was funny and I upvoted. Well done OP!
ninja-edit: just thought of a 3rd option: OP's teacher was a dumbass
I swear to the gods this actually happened! The OG post is a combo of my history teacher sucking/being ten years since it happened/and me both hating and sucking at writing!
And thank you for the karma. I am quite shocked that it exploded the way it did!
paralog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone else is complaining about the lack of proof they both slept with her, meanwhile I'm just thinking "they couldn't have been the first brothers to do so."
"Get assassinated" wouldn't work because there's been plenty of noble families throughout history to get full on murderized, they aren't the first siblings to both go down like that.
When Ted Kennedy didn't get charged with felony homicide after his car accident, he probably felt like he dodged a bullet. His brothers never got to experience that feeling.
I am an American and I never had any sort of history class that covered any of this. Were they both assassinated? All I know about them is they both had a go with Monroe and someone was shot in a car and his head went back and to the left.
If you're American you definitely had a class that covered JFK being president and getting assassinated... unless you were homeschooled and history class ended with Jesus's resurrection.
Nope, I've never been taught that. We only covered American history up until WWII in middle school, and then I did world history throughout high school.
Well if you truly didn't know JFK was a president that was assassinated, and you didn't know about the Cuban missile crisis or the "ask not what your country can do for you..." quote; I think you should blame yourself. You have internet access. I bet you know who Brad Pitt is married to, so use your time and resources more wisely.
Great assumptions! Clearly it's my fault the education system did me a kerfuffle in my youth.
I never learned about those things because no one ever taught me and I can't magically know what to look for if I don't know what I didn't learn. I only know the quote because I've heard it many, many times before, I have no idea the context. My school stuck me in 3 years of world history, I didn't get to choose.
3 years of world history, but no mention of the cold war (which would include at least a passing mention of Kennedy)? I just don't believe you. Ultimately though, I really don't care.
And no, there wasn't. World history can exist with America sticking its ass in everything.
Woofiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would World History in high school, taught in the US, not cover anything whatsoever related to the US in any way? Genuinely curious because in Canada we learn about Canada, US, and all the rest of the world.
I assume the teachers didn't feel like it. It's been long enough since I was in school and I don't know the requirements for the curriculum itself, but from what I remember we spent a lot of time on Chinese history (and I do mean a lot), some on Russia, and a fair chunk on India. I remember reading Candide and Nectar in a Sieve, but it's mostly hazy now.
Kildigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I only had one class that covered anything past 1900 and that was JROTC. Never discussed anything in any class post WW2. NC public school system for you.
Believe me, there are a LOT of things that my schooling never covered, and it honestly concerns me at times. I've done my personal research on things that actually interest me, however the US presidency and the history of it is not one of those things. I did a through project about Japanese internment camps during WW2, and that was something they definitely didn't teach us, and something the teacher tried to detour me away from.
Either way, whether or not I know about the Kennedy family hasn't really impacted my life, so there's that.
We didn't really learn about internment camps either, I don't think it was even mentioned in passing. I think I hadn't even known it was a thing before I heard that Fort Minor song. But then again I'm not from the US and generally we did very little on how life was like during the wars.
I was in a special ed room where the children were sorting nouns- the picture of the mailman went in the "people" column, the baseball went in the "things" column, and so on. There were several pictures of animals, and a little girl (who wore shirts with puppies and horses on them almost daily) sorted the animals in the "people" column, and was the only one in class to have done so.
I pulled her aside to ask her why she didn't sort the animals in the "things" column? (I didn't tell her she was wrong, I just wanted to see her train of thought) and she started giggling and burst out laughing saying, "how is an animal like a thing? animals are alive! a cow can't be like a desk!" And she's cracking up because she thinks it's so silly that people view animals as things.
I asked her if someone taught her that or if she just knew it and she said it was just something she knows.
It was touching and innocent and very sweet. I love animal-lovers :-)
Right?! Me either! what prompted me to ask her about it was because she was the only one in the class to do so, also because animals in the people column was considered the "wrong" answer, but you couldn't explain away the fact that animals were living and things were inanimate.
I remember being taught Nouns were "People, Places, Animals, or Things"
Remember arguing with a teacher over it for similar reasons when she omitted the "Animals" part.
Siphyre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:32:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was taught nouns it was proper nouns and common nouns. Proper nouns were names, places (names of the place), titles. Pretty much unique things. And then we had common nouns being everything that takes up space. My teacher totally bypassed the things/animals controversy it seems.
She's still only 9, but I wouldn't put her past her. Then again I feel like she's too much of a free spirit to be confined by definitions. Lil baby hippie should be frockiling on a farm somewhere taking care of her animals :-)
Now that I'm thinking about it, a noun is only a person place or thing because we think were soooo superior to all those other living things. (Amd we might be in some ways, I don't think we are entirely.)
I remember thinking "person, place or thing" was a really stupid definition when I was in elementary school, because people and places ARE things! And if "noun" means "thing, thing or thing," then why do we say "noun" instead of "thing"?
It turns out I might have been wrong about the definition of "thing," but whatever.
So many downvotes for veganism! I was a vegan for 6 years and vegetarian for 3 or so... had to start eating fish and eggs for health reasons :( but I still love my veggie fam
I'm an elementary art teacher. Teaching about self portraits in one of my kindergarten classes, I explained that everyone's portrait will show all the parts of a face we all have, but they will be drawn uniquely to look like you. A child raises her hand and asks "Are we supposed to draw nipples? We all got nipples."
Extra credit problem on a test that was very difficult. Like crazy difficult. Involved many steps and probably had to do with finding out the rate of oxygen consumption of reptiles. I hadn't made the answer key yet.
Very few students tried ANY of the extra credit problems and one answered all of them but for that last one they just put "I don't want to do this problem"
I ain't givin more details than that on the subject or anything. Don't want people finding my account :T It was a unit test. On a unit for some subject. Some subject and unit where adding a question on reptile oxygen consumption would be almost completely tangential.
Trugglee ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 04:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you have traits from both terrible and awesome teachers!
That would be fairly accurate. I have the ability to become a much better teacher but due to a lot of crap I'm not the best I can be. Got the passion and the love of teaching, but love torturing my students way too much and am getting way too tired of students not trying.
I get that, and as a student, I actually have teachers like that. I think the fact that you care and recognise your "shortcomings" shows that you are an overall good teacher. Bad teachers don't even care that they might be torturing students :)
kheltar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents were teachers, and I agree, there is a lot of crap they have to put up with.
For my dad it was always about the kids that tried hard. He worked at a school in a relatively poor area, so did his best to get the ones that wanted to work hard through. He was always thrilled when one of the kids he knew went to university, it wasn't exactly a common occurrence there.
My teacher gave a question that had to do with the pages he made us read the day before after a few kids complaining and making excuses he said I don't want to hear your excuses or at least make them poetic. So I write him a poem to earn myself half marks. After reading aloud to the entire class.
My question to the other kids in this class: Why wouldn't you just do the extra credit as someone taking a test? I'd at least try the problem if it wasnt absolutely redonk.
One time... Drew a dinosaur on one of the free response questions on my AP calc exam. Wrote "have a nice day" underneath my masterpiece; I had no idea how to approach that problem and several others. Made a 5! The curve must have been Reeeeeeealllly low that year if I'm being honest. Who cares though, didn't have to take any math classes in college.
BleuAzur ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:26:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made a 120 ? That's actually fairly impressive !
Yeah it was kinda redonk and a lot of students struggled with the material. It was free response so guessing really wouldn't have helped them much. Plus they were all kinda dead after finishing the main part of the test.
Honestly it's not really important to know but it does tell you how well they understand its relationship to other functions. Plus it's kind of like a puzzle where you have to find the path that will get from what you're given at the start to what you want at the end. A long, painful, mathematical puzzle
She first searched for that one test in the pile. Gave it an "A" without reading. Then she began checking the rest of the tests against results in that one...
"How to outsource creating the answer sheet." Ingeniously lazy. She knew her students enough to know that one would almost surely get all the answers right, so she used it as the answer sheet.
Yeah, it could have backfired if the student made a mistake after all. OTOH the teacher can make a mistake in the answer sheet too!
Jennchow ยท 1142 points ยท Posted at 02:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late, but maybe whoever reads this will appreciate it.
Not a teacher, but I was helping my [at the time] four year old son with homework. It was a picture of a cow and he was supposed to draw spots on it. So I told him "Draw 17 spots on the cow."
I came back a few minutes later and he had written the number 17 several times and put circles around each.
In the state I live in, the four year old go to voluntary pre-kindergarten where they learn the alphabet (oral and written) and practice numbers up to 20, I think. He had homework every week he had to do...times have changed from when I was a child.
My 1st grader was writing her sentences using her spelling words, one of which was "crazy". She wrote "My mom is crazy". I let her leave it because her spelling and context were correct, and she wasn't lying ๐๐
In grade 9 English we were studying The Hobbit. Our bonus question for the test was "What word does Gollum never say?" The answer of course was "I" but one kid put down "pumpernickel" and the teacher was like... fuck. You're right. Have a mark.
Edit: Sighhh... Guys this was a bonus question meant to give you an easy mark, which it did as he gave the guy a point for pumpernickel. Had it been a more Hobbity question it would have just been included in the main exam. He also asked about the 1994 Stanley Cup playoffs and Dr. Seuss's "The Lorax." The main body of the test was much more academic.
That's true and he honestly probably was expecting a little variation in answers. I just don't know that he was expecting as much as that one kid provided.
It's an interesting conversation starter among people like me who think knowing who Tuor was makes you cool, but it's a terrible question to ask a classroom.
I didn't see it was a bonus question, that makes it more understandable! I would definitely have given credit for pumpernickel, because the parameters of the question don't specify any further.
There are a lot of words he never says. He never says ring, or Sauron, or Frodo or Sam. He never uses his name Gollum, continuing to refer to himself as Smeagol. He actually does indeed use I quite a bit to refer to himself, during times when Sam believes he's being more honest and 'slinker' rather than 'stinker', though this all applies to LOTR, not The Hobbit.
Woofiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smgth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:58:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are very few wrong answers to this question. I'm guessing Gollum didn't even manage to use 1% of available English words. Not a very imaginitive teacher...
I mean the question implies an answer that's relevant, as in something that's prevalent in the scene but is deliberately not said.
Smgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When dealing with children it's best not to be relying on context to get them to go where you want. Explicivity (if that's a word) is the way to go, otherwise you get, well, everything in this thread.
It's not a word. It seems like you were fishing somewhere between 'explicitness' and 'specificity' โ either of which would also be a correct answer to the bonus question, incidentally.
Best I can offer you is that if you drive a 1998 ford explorer and the invisible penis that you are observing were to suddenly cast a Patronus spell your rear view mirror would automatically dim the reflection of the elk apparation, thats a pretty nice feature if you ask me.
Tonkarz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sauron wasn't invisible when he wore the ring so probably there's more to it than just invisibility.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The simple explanation is that it gives you the power to manifest your desire. Which for the hobbits and golumn is hiding from things that want to hurt them.
I remember seeing a Skin-emax(Cinemax) take on LoTR titled Dildo Saggins and The Lord of The G-String. If was supremely twrrible for the 12 minutes I watched it.
Centias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Punk ass hobbitses, slob on my knobitses."
aleder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really expanded
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ur gonna have to send me a link to that for educational purposes.
Kid: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
[deleted] ยท 258 points ยท Posted at 01:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it isn't I.
Suddenly up came Gollum and whispered and hissed: โBless us and splash us, my precioussss! I guess itโs a choice feast; at least a tasty morsel itโd make us, gollum!โ
p. 54 in (3rd page of) Chapter Five: Riddles in the Dark
I've always wondered how many artists started making music on cracked copies of software, released songs that have gained popularity and forgot they were made on cracked software.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot.... A LOT. Even Kanye West and his crew have cracked software and got into a Twitter fight over it when the creator of the software saw a pic of it on Kanye's laptop and could tell it wasn't legit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually the one I'm referring to, I just forgot about the finer details but that's the one.
KMG91 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:57:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big K.R.I.T. (rapper/producer) said the first thing he did with his royalty checks was buy legitimate versions of the software he had pirated to make his first album.
I copied this and put it into Google translate so I could hear it spoken aloud. It's my next mixtape single I like to call "Trying to talk backwards while drunk off my ass"
But I could have watched the trilogy yesterday. I didn't, but I could have.
kyuke ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:26:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he did in The Hobbit, but I think he did in Lord of the Rings when referring to Shelob.
EDIT: Well, I decided to flip through my copies of Hobbit and Two Towers... and Gollum also says he when referring to Sauron and Bilbo and Frodo...and he uses he in the Hobbit when talking to himself about Bilbo.
And because I'm bored:
Hobbit page 80:
"Who are you?" he said, thrusting his dagger in front of him.
"What iss he, my preciouss?" whispered Gollum (who always spoke to himself through never having anyone else to speak to). This is what he had come to find out, for he was not really very hungry at the moment, only curious; otherwise he would have grabbed first and whispered afterwards.
"I am Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I have lost the dwarves and I have lost the wizard, and I don't know where I am; and I don't want to know, if only I can get away."
"What's he got in his handses?" said Gollum, looking at the sword, which he did not quite like.
"A sword, a blade which came from out of Gondolin!"
"Ssss" said Gollum, and became quite polite. "Praps ye sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my preciousss. It likes riddles, praps it does, does it?" ....
I just love that last part...praps it does, does it?
EDIT 2 (still bored):
Two Towers page 304:
'Then take it,' said the other, 'and let's hold it ourselfs! Then we shall be master, gollum! Make the other hobbit, the nasty suspicious hobbit, make him crawl, yes, gollum!'
'But not the nice hobbit?'
'Oh no, not if it doesn't please us. Still he's a Baggins, and my precious, yes, a Baggins. A Baggins stole it. He found it and he said nothing, nothing. We hates Bagginses.'
'No, not this Baggins.'
'Yes, every Baggins. All peoples that keep the Precious. We must have it!'
'But He'll see. He'll know. He'll take it from us!'
EDIT: Although then you open yourself up to the teacher going, "Dialectal words aren't real words; the only English that counts is the standardized one they speak on the news"
3jt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and Iโm fucking retarded but I donโt care, Iโm beautiful. Iโm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me โApacheโ and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you canโt accept me youโre a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
But his identity has been effectively removed. He doesn't know his own name. He speaks like an animal might if it could, only of gratification. He has lost all sense of self.
But he had one once. That's what is striking. If you knew now that you would lose yourself, would the fact that you won't care then make you stop caring now?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I can cum now.
cpxh ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:41:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in academia, but in society, context is generally pretty important, and it typically does you no good to point out a question has multiple correct answers when the person asking it was looking for a specific answer.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:52:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then they should ask a specific question.
cpxh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No matter how specific a question, some wise ass will always find some pedantic and technically correct answer and them pat themselves on the back for being so clever. We all know these types of people, and we all generally dislike them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until we need them to defend us in court. Uh, didn't really help my case there, did I?
What is something odd about the manner in which Gollum speaks?
The current question assumes that gollum not saying "I" is something that is particularly notable to the reader. The truth is one might find that to be too obvious and short an answer to merit a question on a test, so their mind doesnt go there. You imagine there'd be more fanfare (in the book) around the fact that he doesn't say "I" if that were the case.
Multiple choice is totally meant for questions like these.
A classroom setting is not academia? The question was asked on an English test as an extra credit.
Also, why don't you place the burden of thinking through a question on the person who asked the question? If they are "looking for a specific answer", then they should ask a question that will get them that, rather than a million possible answers. Do you think that there is no such thing as a bad question?
True, but punishing your students for thinking creatively means you're destroying your own credibility with your students for being needlessly punitive. It's an extra credit question, they gave you a correct answer within the framework of the question. I would have argued with you too.
If it's extra credit, then it's not punitive. If it isn't extra credit, then it still should be within the context of the lesson and not a bunch of nonsense.
Edit: As a note, I don't consider this to be "creative thinking" either; let's be honest, it's a smart assed response.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former student, I would have dinged you on your performance survey for not knowing how to ask a question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And still requires that the student have the same set of assumptions guiding his/her interpretations of the informational negative space around the explicit content of the text in question as does the instructor. The student is being tested on the degree of agreement of his neural structure (without regard to information content and reasoning ability) with that of the instructor, rather than on his/her understanding of the passage. So, it doesn't really matter whether it is base or extra credit. "You can make an A if you know/understand the material 90%, but if you know/understand it 85% and your brain is wired the same as mine, you can still get an A."
They've done a lot of studies on student evaluations, and the only thing they've really found them to indicate is what the student thinks their grade will be.
So I wouldn't be concerned.
Lynx436 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you ask a question and grade it you shouldn't be looking for your desired answer, you should be looking to see if the student in fact answered the question correctly.
In the above case the student answered the question asked correctly, they just didn't give you the answer you were looking for. That doesn't make the student wrong. If you want to discuss it with the student after that is one thing, to tell that student they are incorrect however is reprehensible.
You claim context matters, but you didn't provide the context that mattered. Had your instructions stated "Please answer all question based solely on class discussion" then you'd have some sort of argument. However barring provided context you cannot assume any for your students.
I'm looking for answers, which show an understanding of the lesson, critical thinking, and ability to relate the material to the test, that answer does none of those things. It is frankly, a smart assed response which doesn't deserve any points.
Consider it this way, if you were at work and did the same thing, what would happen?
Schwenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, everyone here is jumping the professor as if he had asked this reddit thread, not his intimate classroom of students.
However, that question still feels weak, as there are many amazing lessons to be taken out of The Hobbit, none of which are that Gollum can't address himself as I.
Sounds more like the teacher hadn't read the book and was simply following a lesson plan established by a community of teachers who also hadn't read the book, but needed to use it to continue their lessons.
I agree with you here, it is a weak question. But it is an interesting question if it followed with a second part of "explain the significances of why Gollum did not" or something similarly phrased.
Granted, one person said it was an extra credit question which makes me waffle a bit on my first firm stance of no points.
Schwenn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I agree with all of this. Thanks for filling me in!
I'm an engineer. All of my colleagues would gang up on management and start giving other joke answers until the question was refined.
yiw999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The work in that case would be the context. As long as the instructions for the questions provide the proper context then, I don't see a problem with what you're saying, but if there are a lot of technically correct answers, then it might be obvious to the test-maker but not so much to the students. I'm deviating a little here, but out-of-the box questions shouldn't be penalized if they follow the directions. Similarly in a good work environment, out-of-the box thinking should also be encouraged (obviously in the right context).
The lessons and discussions are similarly the context here. This was likely discussed in class, so I would assume there is a point to the question instead of a one off. However, if it is a one off extra credit like claimed, it would've still been stated in class.
If I'm at work I expect my employees to call me on my shit if I'm wrong.
In this case you as the educator were wrong because you got lazy. You didn't take the time to craft the question for the answer you wanted. You took an easy route out and now want to pin the blame on your student.
There are many ways you could have asked such a question to get a singular answer, in this above case that was not done.
You talk of workplace accountability, yet you yourself lead with a poor example by marking such a question wrong. In the classroom you are the boss. Want to disenfranchise students, mark them wrong when they think creatively and are correct. Sure, you'll teach them a life lesson, but not the lesson you want. Instead you'll teach that sometimes bosses are assholes who don't want you to think creatively, but instead just echo back to them what they want to hear. Further don't trust your boss, they're out to get you, even when you're right.
It all comes down to a lack of effort on the instructors part. The instructor could have made an air tight question and didn't. That's in no way the student's fault.
I'll be the first to admit that I was the type of smart-ass student that knew the answer should have been "I" but gave another technically correct answer instead. Just as you push your student to be better you should accept that they are pushing you to do the same. Marking them wrong here would be neglecting your ability to become a better instructor due to your own carelessness and lack of desire to improve or recognize that you can improve.
Would you give your boss a technically correct answer and expect to not have to do anything else? Or would you give the contextually appropriate answer?
If an employee gave me a technically correct answer I'd look into it, even if it didn't seem like it was going down the correct path. The answers I want the most are the ones that I don't think of myself.
Any good employer feels the same way. Any shitty employer it doesn't matter because they're not looking for results, only yes men or biding their time until they can replace with you with an algorithm or robot.
I understand that as an instructor you have to train both the future bosses and future laborer who doesn't have to think critically. Marking those that think outside the box wrong however doesn't help nourish those who do so. I said originally that if you felt a conversation was needed it should be had, but the answer was not wrong for the question asked. Marking it wrong shows a lack of effort and maturity on your part, not the students.
Sigh, that isn't a comparable example. If you have someone whose job is to do the HR and you said, "report on X" and they emailed "fine" a week later, when contextually it's understood they need to do an annual report, you'd most definitely be more than a bit annoyed and think they didn't do their job.
And I'd have them clarify what fine meant. If it was continual I'd have a conversation with them about it. What I wouldn't do would be to fine them, fire them, dock their hours, or publicly admonish them without first discussing the matter. Those are the real world equivalent of marking a test question wrong.
If you think a discussion is necessary, have it, but if the work product provided answer the question I asked and I find it lacking, that my fault for asking the wrong question, not my employees fault for providing the "wrong" answer.
If fine is a truthful and conplete answer then I failed in asking the question not my employee failing to answer.
Own your shit. It's OK to make a mistake. What makes a teacher a failure is if they make a mistake and blame their students instead of owning it and correcting their mistake for the future.
It's not that hard to craft a question with a singular answer. In the above case all that would have been necessary is to make the question, "As per our discussion in class, what was the discussed word that Gollum never says?"
Fuck you. If you ask a question such as, "what does golem never say?" Cuntblaster is a correct answer. He never said it. It answers the question completely. You should specify further if you're looking for a specific answer.
I probably wouldn't have asked the question written that way, but if I did, it still ignores context of the class and assignment, which is necessary to answer the question.
What context? It was a random question tacked on meaning it was probably not discussed earlier either. While the student picked a cheeky answer there are plenty of other things that would be perfectly reasonable to assume the teacher might be thinking of. I don't believe Gollum ever says either ring or you, both of which speak just as much about his state of mind yet by your narrow definition you would have marked wrong because you expect students to psychically know exactly what your first thought was.
Was it a random question tacked on? Do you have evidence for that?
Also, "Ring" and "You" if true, I'd definitely give points for, since they are within the context of the book and have significance to the character of gollum. However, "pumpernickel" does not.
Although, after the edit (which I didn't read) for an extra credit question I would be significantly more lenient with my points there. That doesn't change the fact, that the answer should be related to the context of the class itself.
mathent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still wouldn't be an open ended question
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today was the first day I ever said "cuntblaster". I feel like the previous 4 decades have been mostly a waste. But, man, I'm really looking forward to the future.
I once named a fictional island for a geography class "Fuckoffia" and got sent to the principal's office. Pretty sure that was the first time I knew I was being punished for something the principal thought was funny and not that big of a deal.
KbhRS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:42:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cus it was a bonus question. Most of the time bonus questions can only add points, not take them away
Ayverie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:43:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you can still make it multiple choice and the kids just don't get any bonus points if they select the wrong answer. Just like if the kid writes the wrong answer, points aren't removed; they just don't get the bonus point.
Ayverie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually had exams before where the bonus question was multiple choice. Is it untraditional, like you said? Definitely. And I totally agree with what you said; it is very untraditional. But it can still be used if a teacher really wants to.
Tbh, though, the wording of the question asked is a little too misleading and open-ended, multiple choice or not. I would have written down one of the riddles exchanged between Gollum and Bilbo and ask the kids to answer it for the bonus marks.
His bonus questions tended to be light and not particularly serious because we were the ones who begged him for them. He also asked about the 1994 Stanley Cup playoffs and grickle grass in the Lorax. The actual tests were far more literary.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if it were a multiple choice question, they'd need a huge list of choices. Huge.
PRMan99 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1994 Stanley Cup playoffs
Rangers in 7 over the Canucks.
atp2112 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also possibly correct to write "MATTEAU!!! MATTEAU!!! MATTEAU!!!"
I found it, I did. A way through the marshes. Orcs don't use it. Orcs don't know it. They go round for miles and miles. Come Hobbitses, soft and quick as shadows we must be.
Anruz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gollum uses "I" quite a bit, even in the Hobbit. It's usually a sign that he's telling the truth.
In my high school grade 9 was the second year of high school but yeah- our teacher thought we could handle it. I mean, any book the where you all have to read it is going to get mixed reviews, but he was a cool and engaging teacher. I remember we wrote an epic poem about the journey and I feel like we had to discuss Englishy things like use of language, tone, atmosphere, etc and character discussions. It was quite a few years ago but I remember liking the class, even if I didn't love the book.
"Why do I cry myself to sleep every night?" Nah- the answer was 1994 to the question "When were the Canucks last in the playoffs?" (or something like that it's been a few years)
RTGold ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allokit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, that sounds exactly like something I would have put in a test answer in Jr. High, even if fully well knowing the teacher was looking for "I" I would have put down something like "zucchini", or w/e because it's technically correct.
What?! You got to study awesome books like the Hobbit in 9th grade English? We had to read boring shit like the Scarlet Letter and The Pearl. I'm jelly as hell.
ca990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do I cry myself to sleep every night?" Nah- the answer was 1994 to the question "When were the Canucks last in the playoffs?" (or something like that it's been a few years)
This is sort of related, but my favorite bonus question I've ever seen on a test was in my undergraduate music history class. There was a picture of Bob Ross and the question was "Who is this man?"
dcoble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher at my school once put "Tell me everything you know about (topic)." on a test
It was just supposed to be a quick essay question, but one student wrote "I don't know anything about (topic)" and she had to give him full credit.
It was a bonus question meant for an easy mark asked off the cuff (as we all wanted one) at the end of a much more challenging test composed of multiple choice, short answer, and long answer questions. Let us pluck the panties out from in between our bum cheeks shall we?
That reminds me of Karl Pilkington's, Father's friend, 'Jimmy the Hat'. Ricky: "why did they call him Jimmy the Hat?", Karl: "Because he never wears a hat"
Brilliant....
Where the fuck did you go to school that you got to read the hobbit in class?! That sounds so much better than like Romeo and Juliet and The Scarlet Letter that I had to read
aaadmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why he asked the question? We all wanted a bonus question and he was an indulgent man. The questions themselves weren't all that serious, so I imagine he wasn't particularly expecting the answers to be either. Other examples of bonus questions were "What was the year the Vancouver Canucks were last in the Stanley Cup playoffs (it was 1994 at the time)?" and "What sort of grass grows at the edge of town in The Lorax?"
aaadmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but the one guy who thought to be cheeky and give a false answer was given a full mark anyway.
yelow13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn our bonus questions are "learn to read korean, translate to English". Considered cheating if you knew Korean prior to the term
Edit: a computer science class in Canada, has nothing to do with the Korean language.
CuBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you teach my kids (that I've yet to have)? In grade 9 English I was covering in depth the story of 12th night and it's meaning between the words written. We had the highest English marks in the area. But I would have killed to study the hobbit.
Like a point. As in, he marked the answer as correct and the kid got a "mark" toward his test total. I didn't realise that expression isn't in America.
Considering how many words Gollum doesn't say, that's your teacher's fault.
Like, he also never said kumquat, avocado, perpendicular, antidisestablishmentarianism, dreadlocks, hemp, marshmallow, cannabis, bench, superintendent, buffer, pizza, fiscal, donuts, vagina, truck, fellatio, swizzle, sommelier, hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, cunt... the list just goes on.
I mean surely we can all understand that he was expecting a more contextually appropriate answer but gave credence to humour because he appreciated the kid's creativity.
My sweet little 7-year-olds overheard a 5th grade boy say "Don't be fucking stupid" to his friend. They look up at me, eyes wide, and say, "Oooohhh, he said 'stupid!'"
[deleted] ยท 5041 points ยท Posted at 00:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was listening to a podcast about swearing, and this guy was saying that his daughter's class would just say "swear word" instead of actually swearing. But since swears are about context and emotion, the school ended up banning "swear word" because students were using it as a swear.
I was thinking about that when my nephew got mad at me for saying "stupid."
What the cuss did you just cussing say about me, you little swear word? Iโll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iโve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed bad words.
I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the cuss out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my cussing words.
You think you can get away with saying that poop to me over the Internet? Think again, cusser. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, dummy. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youโre cussing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bottom off the face of the continent, you little dingus. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your cussing tongue.
But you couldnโt, you didnโt, and now youโre paying the price, you stupid butthead. I will poop fury all over you and you will drown in it.
Youโre cussing dead, kiddo.
Akuur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those mother cluckers! (Our vice principal tried to ban us saying cluck as an alternative swear word. The school board laughed him out of the room. He was a power tripping, whiny little cluck.)
9bikes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should that be:
"What the swear word did you just say about me you little swear word? I'll have you know..." ?
Something something 300 confirmed kills, something something top of my class in the Navy Seals, something something over 700 ways to something something and that's just with my something something.
This made me think someone should rewrite the navy seals copypasta but incorporate it like that.
femmerat ยท 4243 points ยท Posted at 00:21:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school we had a lot of banned words like this. "Smurf" was one of them, as well as the phrase "shallow and pedantic". This was the gifted class, too.
Maybe not in the moment if it was heated enough, but that would be the one to keep me awake at night, slowly rotting away in a puddle of self loathing, never able to fully recover.
kahb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't done Twelfth Night since I was about 10, but a couple of months ago I was helping my girlfriend practice that monologue for an audition and I guess the phrase stuck in my memory.
That word ticks me off. Every time I Google to see what it means, it tells me that it means having the quality of a pedant. I know it does this, but I forget every single time, right around the time I forget the definition of pedantic.
The worst is when you google it, it says "having the quality of __" and you can't remember what that fucking word means either how so very helpful thank you google/dictionary.com
If those traits were banned here, Reddit would collapse inwards upon itself in a dramatic, first of its kind, scientific demonstration of the origins of a black hole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was smurfin' her in the smurf, right?" "In the smurf, on a first date?" "Oh, yeah, right in the smurf - this little smurf is a smurfer, she loves it straight in the smurf" "Well, smurf...so anything really smurfy about it?" "Nah, other than that, I just smurfed all over her smurfs, long story short we're going out for coffee (and probably a smurf or two) next week".
Ms Finster Ms Finster! LeBronald_McDonald said a bad word!
moloizer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can just imagine "shallow and pendatic" being banned in the krelboyne class on Malcolm in the Middle.
Bretagne ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my summer nerd camp we totally went through a Smurf phase. "Smurf you" "what the Smurf" "That's smurfing wild" "what the Smurf?" Man, we thought we were so cool and edgy. At nerd camp.
Kids will run any phrase or joke into the ground so badly. It doesn't matter what it is. Once you've heard it 50 times per day, every day for 3 weeks, you'll want to ban pretty much anything.
I was a student when Revenge of the Nerds came out. We would randomly just shout "NERDS!!!" at each other like that one big guy in the movie. "Nerd" got banned. So people started shouting other words. "PEDANTS!!" caught on like wild fire, subsequently getting it banned as well lol
I got written up in middle school for saying "what the function" whilst confused about an algebra problem. Next week I got another write up for making the finger guns gesture.
Aaaannd this is why I don't make jokes anymore.
Maegaa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
adain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there comes a points, in every school, where shit just gets too stupid to deal with. When that happens the quiet and gifted ones team up with the loud and obnoxious ones. The resulting war of escalation has caused many a teacher to experience early onset baldness.
My entire grade managed to get a teacher so fired up over the term, "BOOM! ROASTED!" that they could no longer say it and had to invent "creative" alternatives like "toasted" and "sauteed"
Yeah, as a former middle school gifted kid you fucking dickheads were being annoying as shit with whatever autistic fucking phrase from the TV kept rattling around your heads and out your mouths constantly. It's not that there was anything inherently wrong with Smurf or Shallow and Pedantic, it's that you were saying it every 10 seconds until somebody stopped you because you were being annoying dickheads.
grawsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the senior teachers in my high school got on parade to talk about swearing, he used the word "expletive" and talked about not saying "What an expletiving good game" or if you fall over trying not to say "OH EXPLETIVE!"
Smurf being banned is hilarious. My second grade class was banned from using the phrase "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!!" We used to say it all the time after seeing those commercials so many times. I'm 32 so it was a bit ago
tI-_-tI ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expletive deleted
zkroak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the swear word did you just swearing wording say about me, you little swear word? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the swear word out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my swearing wording words. You think you can get away with saying that swear word to me over the Internet? Think again, swear worder. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, swear word. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre swearing wording dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your swear word off the face of the continent, you little swear word. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your swearing wording tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you swear word swear word. I will swear word fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre swearing wording dead, kiddo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very prim girl in class that would always say "fudge" instead of swearing. So one day I cut myself pretty badly washing test tubes, and said the actual word right in front of her. We stared at each other for a second and then she quietly slipped to he back of the room.
Moments later the back of the room was in an uproar - Did you hear what she said? She said a very bad word? Can we call her dad? etc She was adamant that since it was a quote, it did not have the emotion of a swear, so it did not count.
So we let it calm down, and finished the lab, and I asked her, if saying it but not meaning it makes it not-a-swear, does saying "fudge" and meaning it make it actually a swear? Another long look, and a quiet, "Oh, fudge..." and honestly it was the last time she said it (around me at least).
We were playing soccer in high school gym once and someone kicked the ball and it hit me in the nuts so I yelled out "hey, that ball hit me in the nuts!" The teacher screamed "use proper terminology!" To me, that was an ok to say testicles, so for the rest of the class I kept saying "make sure you don't kick the ball near my testicles" and "I'm glad my testicles aren't hurting anymore" and "I wonder if I should wear a cup over my testicles for gym now?". I said it so many times the teacher gave me a 0 for the day and I didn't think that was fair since he was the one who told me to use proper terminology in the first place
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'80s cartoons would have villains do a similar thing. I don't remember which ones (probably Skeletor), but I was taking to a friend about it years later how, when the hero had foiled the villain's plans, he would shout the word: "Curses!" Pretty ingenious way to go about cursing in a kids show.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing that in Spiderman, the censors wouldn't allow "kill," so the villains always said they would "destroy" Spiderman. It gets around it, but it's really silly.
I was playing a game with my family a few years ago, and my siblings and I started fighting. My mom told us that we were only allowed to say sweet and encouraging words to each other. So my little sister, who was about 7 or 8 at the time, turns to the rest of us and growls "sweet and encouraging words". It was amazing.
My mother's friend's 6-year-old daughter regularly visits our house, and one day she leans over to my mother and whispers "Auntie, do you know the S word?" My mother responds no, asks what it is. The girl whispers tentatively, "Well...I can't say it, but it's spelled s-t-u-p-i-d." My mom just kind of does a mock gasp and shakes her head in laughter.
The next day the girl comes up to my mom during dinner again, asks her if she knows the "F" word.
My mom's look of amusement lasts for about two seconds before the girl suddenly goes "fuck!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's important that we teach kids what swears mean so they don't incorrectly use them or get shocked when they hear them.
I was raised weird, I suppose. My parents let me curse (my favorite movie growing up was Monty Python and The Holy Grail) but always made sure to tell me not to do it at school in front of the teachers, because they'd get mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's the reasonable way to deal with swearing. It's not that XYZ word is linguistic cancer. It's learning when and why you can say XYZ and when you can't.
I'm a bit more extreme. I think words are words. I work in an industry that relies on communication... But when I'm off the clock almost every other word is "fuck" or some variation
That sounds like the premise for a South Park episode.
Adekis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny- at my gradeschool you weren't allowed to say certain (in retrospect, sometimes arbitrary) words because of their meanings, not because you weren't allowed to be pissed off. You could say "crud" as angrily as you wanted, it still wouldn't get you in trouble like a casual, conversational use of "crap".
I remember confiding in my kindergarten teacher that I'd heard anothet teacher swear. She had literally said "I swear..." (don't remember the rest) but I was shocked when I heard it
At a summer camp I worked at, the kids learned all their swear words from youtube videos. So they'd just say "Stop that beep" or "what the beep." Like the word "beep" was a swear word.
We had "mother goose" banned because it was too close to "mother trucker". We also had cut off sleeves taken away and the word "mom" because they kept hearing,"bomb".
I work with adults with intellectual disibilities and one of my clients LB really hates swearing and any time TD swore LB would get really mad so brilliant TD stops saying 'fuck off" and starts saying in quick hot anger "LB" is so much more effective and meaningful but isn't technically swearing.
walesmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of reminds me of my middle school. Late 90s, for some reason running around with a bag of KoolAid and eating it was a fad (right there next to ripped up jeans and Pearl Jam). Bags of KoolAid were banned from my school as a "turkey drug".
Apparently "turkey drug" meant consumable substance that was a disruption to the normal state of order.
We also had to hide our pog playing behind some random classroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but my son got in trouble in 4th grade for saying something (not someone) was "derpy". He argued that "derp" was not a swear. They banned it anyway.
But since swears are about context and emotion, the school ended up banning "swear word" because students were using it as a swear.
By that standard, if you say "fuck", but you use it like any other normal word, you shouldn't get into trouble. Like if you said plainly, "I saw two dogs fucking on the side of the road." If you're going by context and emotion, then that should have the same penalty as saying, "I saw two dogs having sexual intercourse on the side of the road."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on where it was said, you might get in trouble for saying either one, since both phrases could be seen as inappropriate... which is the way it should be. Words are just words, after all.
You have GOT to be kidding me! That is stark raving batshit! You cannot ever do away with said context and emotion. It is part of the human condition. The most you can hope for is concessions for polite company. We NEED swear words!
Being economical with the truth = lying by omission
Tired and emotional = intoxicated
and
Labour MP Dennis Skinner famously said "half the Tory members opposite are crooks". When asked to apologise due to this being unparliamentary language, Skinner replied "OK, half the Tory members aren't crooks."
It's why banning words is fucking stupid. Teach kids not to be cunts, don't just say "words are bad". No word is inherently bad, intent and context makes them bad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my adult students just asked me to explain "fuck you" last night, and I almost derailed the whole class. I went on to explain the same thing; it's about the intent and the context, not the word.
My friend's little brother used to self-censor. When he got mad and started yelling, he would say "BEEP" instead of actually swearing. For example, he would yell, "BEEP YOU!" before storming off.
Somewhat related, his parents barred him from watching Happy Gilmore because he picked up a bit too much profanity.
Taught in a K-8 school- this makes sense... We had a teacher who was shooting the breeze in the hall with a 7th grader say, "No way! Shut up!" in a joking manner. Kindergarten class was lined up in same hallway & one little girl turns to the next person in line, does the loud you're-in-trouble inhale, and says, "He said the S word!"
I had my next door neighbour kid come to me and tell me about how he learned the "c" word in school. He was grade 6ish. I was like "okay .... whisper it to me". It was Crap. All was well with the world and I let him continue believing what he thought he knew.
moloizer ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He learned "crap" in grade 6? "Blowjob" was the word of the year when I was in the sixth grade.
I didn't know what that meant until 8th grade, and for half the year I'm pretty sure I thought it was something to do with a hair dryer/blow drying your hair...needless to say I was not on the receiving end of any blowjobs that year, unlike a few of my peers (from what I later heard anyway).
It's not acceptable to get a blowie until sophomore year in high school? You do realize that's 15 and 16 years old, right? And that 15 year olds have been having sex since the dawn of time?
jusjerm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm opposed to 13 and 14 year olds having sexual relations. That is way too young.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA. I distinctly remember playing the penis game with my friends in 6th grade. There wasn't a curse word we didn't know back then.
Just to clarify, the penis game is where you take turns saying the word penis just a bit louder each time. The person who says it the loudest wins.
In year six or seven, Australia
Luke had just pushed in line or something like that.
Told Luke he was a cunt
Luke cried and told the teacher he was a cunt.
Luke was still a cunt last time i checked.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know an Aussie who was in the states for a transfer student thing, and he says he regularly heard kids screaming that particular word for whatever reason.
the fucked up thing is you dont even realize how much you say fuck and cunt until youre around people who dont say fuck and cunt.
just casually slip "that fucken cunt with the red hat" or "fuck, that cunt's got some dardy nike's" around the wrong people and you can tell their asshole is puckering up.
Same here. The difficult thing was that my maiden name is actually "Butt", but we weren't allowed to say that word unless we were referring to our last name.
Thankfully, I didn't get too much garbage from school mates, as I was homeschooled for the majority of my student years, but let's just say that I was the "butt" of the jokes that my friends made.... It also didn't help that my mother was proud of her married name, so she had no problem calling out "get in the van, all my little butts" when we were in public places.
did your parents ever tell you the reasoning behind this? I just got "these are naughty words, stop questioning mummy".
These are not even vaguely naughty words, what gives?
I was maybe 6 when I screamed "SHIT!!!" while my brothers told me to shut up and not say that ever ever again.
My reply: but that's what mommy always says
My sisters and I could say "crud," but "crap" was off limits.
Also, we used to "claim" the front seat of the car. (I got the idea from DuckTales, from the Yukon episode.) When that became the source of fights, "claim" was banned. Within a week, we would "call" it instead.
dzzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Crud" sounds infinitely worse than "crap" to me, no idea why though.
Growing up I thought the F-word was "fart" because I wasn't allowed to say it, it started with f and had four letters.
Since I know people will ask, we called farts "stinkies." I have no idea why that was better than fart. I even brought it up in front of my mom once and she didn't say anything. She thought it was funny, but no insight into the problem with saying fart.
My mom made us call them toots. I once accidently farted in front of my friends AS AN ADULT and said "Oh no I tooted!"... One of my friends laughed so hard they actually pissed themselves. I will never live it down.
88Wolves ยท 4959 points ยท Posted at 01:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father, who cusses like a sailor, has always used the word "spoot." Which to me sounds dirtier than either fart or toot. No idea why.
When my middle child (now seven) was a toddler, he used to announce, "My butt sneezed!" We still use that sometimes.
NuM3R1K ยท 2003 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think spoot sounds worse because it sounds wetter than toot.
A woman I worked with once said "oops I pooted" and I truly thought that was her more polite way of saying sharted. The casual way that she said it was even more terrifying.
My sons and I use the word poots. They really get a kick out of it when somebody lets one rip and I tell them "stop stinking up my house, Poot McPooterson."
My grandfather calls butt dials "butt farts" for some reason, so we will often get a phone call and we'll say "Hello? Hello?" and then hear "Huh...? Hello? Oh dear, I seem to have just butt farted you."
I'm older than Angry Beavers, though, and he's been using it my entire life! But I will say, that was the first "outside" use of the term I ever heard.
I am a sailor, and I also cuss like myself... I enjoy telling people I'm going to tinkle to see their reactions. Sometimes I go full bore and say I'm going twinkle twankle.
In my house we announce it as, "Do you smell popcorn?"
intense sniffing typically follows
Mysta02 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:20:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We always called them butt burps.
zyco_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:24:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family uses "poof". I never realized until now that we weren't the only family to use an alternate word.
My brother and I have moved to just using fart though. Just not around mom
Yizzak ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young my babysitter didn't want us kids saying fart. Instead we had to use the word "pooter". Like, "like oops I just pootered." If you ask me, pooter sounds a thousand times worse than fart.
From the windoooooooww (to the window)
To the wall (to the wall)
That spoot vibrates my balls (my balls)
All these bitches cough (cough)
To all spoot spoot motherfucker (motherfucker)
All spoot spoot, goddamn! (goddamn)
To all spoot spoot motherfucker (motherfucker)
All spoot spoot, goddamn! (goddamn)
My family has always called farts "Zuts". One can zut, have zutted or be in the process of zutting. It came from my mother reacting to bad guys in old movies wearing "zoot suits". Apparently they looked like people who farted a lot to her.
AHuxl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my oldest first heard himself fart he said "My bottom burped!", which we still use because it's hilarious. BUT when he actually burped as a toddler he said "Mama! I did a bottom burp out of my mouth!" It took 5 years to convince him that it's called just a plain "burp".
When I was 3 year old little girl with blonde curls, I walked into a room at a family gathering and said "excuse me" but the adults didn't mind me. I said it again, "excuse me"... Nothing.
So I walked in further, hands on hips, and shouted, "EXCUSE ME!"
finally, silence. My mom said," what, sweetheart?" I said, "I tooted in the other room but there was nobody to say you're excused" my mom excused me and I went off happily to play.
I'm actually older than Angry Beavers... So growing up, it had no reference. You can imagine the mixed emotions I felt when I heard it on TV for the first time. Still cringed, but felt less alone. Haha.
Oh my God. When we were potty training my niece, we would ask her if she needed to go potty. Since she was two, she would immediately say "no." We would ask again if she was REALLY sure she didn't need to go potty. She would get exasperated and say, "There's no poop in my butt!"
If I was out with my mom and I had to go to the bathroom, sometimes she would ask me "do you have to go bad?" Somehow I thought "I gotta go to the bathroom bad" meant that I had to poop, not that I needed to go right away.
fjodsk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in American Sign Language, "fart" is butt-burp.
jturlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them "ducks" when I was little.
In context, "Mom, I did a duck. Excuse me."
I had no idea where it had come from until years later when I heard a dad make joke after farting audibly: "Is there a duck loose around here? ...Ha! That always quacks me up"
My sister said her "bottom rumbled." That's what ended up sticking at our house, and it's what we say in my house with my husband and kids to this day.
My wife taught my 2 daughters to call them "poots". I think I like spoot better. Although, I really don't see what the problem with fart is, but she won't let them use it...
After once farting in the bathtub and seeing the bubbles, my daughter was convinced there were bubbles every time she farted. She would announce very loudly, "MOMMY! MY BUTT JUST MADE BUBBLES", making sure everyone around knew. She's 9 nine, and we still some times call them butt bubbles.
Okay maybe I've been viewing this all wrong. Maybe I've stumbled upon the one surefire way to make adults piss themselves and need to appreciate "toot" for the valuable weapon that it is.
Pronoun doesn't agree with the subject here. He or She will never live it down
Soramke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That pronoun has been used like that in the English language for centuries, and is largely accepted in casual contexts (which would most definitely include most posts on Reddit) and increasingly accepted in formal contexts too.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except they is plural pronoun. "He or she will never live it down" is actually grammatically correct.
But it is. Its been a thing since the 14th century you nut.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16th century. Then it faded until just recently. So now it's semantics. At what point does something popular change the language? When Oxford decides so? They have a small caveat stating this is growing in popularity and is widely accepted. Does something widely accepted mean grammatically correct? I believe Elements of Style would state "he or she" is correct. AP style wouldn't let it slide. Silly.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right. So we have four sources saying four different things. Like I just said, at what point does it become official? When Oxford says so? When Webster says so? When people write out regularly? When newspapers start writing that way? It's a flexible thing, dependent on what style your following.
You've made your point though. It's not enough of a rule to fix it in a comment. Got it. Pal.
Alright, dude. And I'm sorry for some random people jumping into the convo causing drama when things were settled already. Guess some people just can't resist the urge to butt in even when they're late to the party.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's my fault for continuing to engage. Just a bad night for me. Keep it real, my brotha or sista. I suppose "my people" works too. Haha
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly it's just "whenever you say so," because you won't accept any other sources. The fact that there's a debate and some sources don't consider it grammatically correct doesn't really seem to be justification for getting all pedantic about it in a fucking Reddit comment. If you acknowledge that different sources have different opinions on the issue, why did you feel the need to correct somebody so unequivocally? You're certainly no more of an authority on it than Oxford, so get over yourself.
Speaking of grammar, it's "you're," not "your," in the context in which you used it. There's not even any debate over that one, it's pretty set in stone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, where did this come from? I was just having a conversation with LordGhoul about it. It really didn't seem hostile to me, and I just conceded that he or she was right! It's obviously not as set in stone a rule as I thought it was. Certainly not enough to correct someone's comment.
I'm not sure when I used your or you're though? I used "you've" for "you have".
The only thing that was even slightly confrontational was just calling each other dude and pal. I just thought it was funny in a kind of dickish condescending way.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your original comment was really condescending, despite the fact that you obviously didn't know what you were talking about. I just don't see why you felt the need to comment on anybody's grammar in the first place. Anyways, it was "dependent on what style your following."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't intend to be condescending. For the third and final time, I'll concede that it was an inappropriate place to be a stickler on such a flexible rule. Maybe it's more in the past, but Reddit used to have a lot of grammar corrections.
But I write professionally you degrading cunt, and I'm telling you that shit doesn't fly when you're trying to publish.
I'm not sure where you came from, or why you feel the need to dig your heels in on this, but I've already admitted I was out of line. Three times. So eat a dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone through some of your post history. You're a garden-variety asshole. You just like to shit all over everything. That's just the type of person you are.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really sure what you're referring to? I don't feel like I've been particularly hostile to you, but you're certainly being hostile now. The worst thing I've called you is "condescending." But I'm sure you didn't mean to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, don't pull out now. You've been an asshole. You can be an asshole without calling someone names. You shit all over me. Just because you could. You seem to do it a lot, actually.
That's pretty much what you're on this website to do. That and bitch about your shit Starbucks job.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never felt the need to call anybody a cunt, though. In what universe did I shit all over you? I disagreed with you and said you were being condescending. God fucking forbid. I'm certainly not the only person here who's disagreed with you. Grow a thicker skin and stop cursing people out because you don't like what they have to say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're acting like a cunt. I'm not trying to take the higher ground like you're pretending to. I just need you to know that you're an asshole and you shit all over everything.
You weren't disagreeing with me, you were trying to rub salt into wounds. I conceded the point three times, and you still felt the need to shit all over the place. That's what assholes do. You're an asshole.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Again, I'm not sure where I shit all over you. I disagreed with you. That's all. Now you're being a dick to me about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of assholes don't realize they're assholes. Now fuck off.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not just gonna stop replying because you order me to. Again, get over yourself. If you have no interest in continuing this conversation, then stop replying. If you do want to continue this conversation, then don't. It takes two people to have a conversation. You were an asshole in your original comment and you've continued to be an asshole since. You think I'm an asshole too? Fine, cool. But somehow you think that means I shouldn't respond to being called a cunt?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, you're right. It's late where I am. This isn't worth either of our time. I'm sorry I called you a cunt, that was uncalled for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:41 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the word we grew up with too. I think it's a British thing.
For some inexplicable reason, my mum always referred to going for a poo as "doing a Bob". I have no idea why, and no one else's family used that euphemism as far as I'm aware.
If it makes you feel any better about being awkwardly sheltered, I had a friend who referred to vaginas (he had sisters, so he wasn't completely unexposed) as "the front butt" until he was about 13.
He also wasn't allowed out after dark until he was 18.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:46:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AntTse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
really gives a whole new meaning to the 3 little pigs cause the wolf is huffing and puffing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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AntTse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family calls them fluffs as well! Or, did, until we got old and moved out. "Whip until light and fluffy" for whipped cream or butter was always entertaining.
I got one for you... My brother and I used to say "bleep" instead of curse words. It was only when I rattled off a couple "bleeps" in college and saw the looks on my friends faces that I realized that was unusual.
illyume ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you cussing me!? You said cussing "bleep" instead of cusses?
I'm dead... I really am. A long time friend did this, and It happened recently too. We were on the phone and his girlfriend was in the background. He ripped a ripe one, and said "oh no I tooted". Both his girlfriend and I started fucking dying. She and I laughed so hard that we both pissed ourselves.
On another note he always forgets to try and get out of the habit of saying that. He's a real funny guy and it comes naturally. So saying "tooted" is normal for him. I die of laughter if not piss myself from laughing so hard at least once a year because I this.
When I was about 5, I called farts "farts," but my best friend called them "toots." We once got into an argument that went something like this:
Me: It's called a fart!
Friend: No, it's a toot!
Me: No, stupid, it's a fart (I was a mean child)
Friend: It's a toot!
Friend's mom comes into the room and calmly says in her best teacher voice: Actually, girls, it's called a flatulence.
We both thought the word "flatulence" was so funny that we totally forgot about our fight and spent the rest of the day yelling "FLATULENCE" at the top of our lungs. Kids are awesome lol.
atacms ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tooted is the equivalent of saying I need to "wee wee"
And then there's my grandmother who keeps telling a joke that ends with "look at that nice brown ass. -i already have that mom!" (works better in Dutch)
Toots are what I allow my kids(16+ yrs) to say. We can say fuck and mostly all the rest (I also don't like cunt or pussy) but fart just makes me cringe.
My mom made us say "poof". I taught my daughter "fart". My parents visited recently and there were flatulance word replacement shenanigans. Let's just say you can still get "in trouble" with your parents when you're in your mid thirties.
100% this is my life. Even to this day I don't use the word "fart." It's always "passing gas." I can say "fuck," "shit," "piss," etc. all goddamn day. But the word "fart" makes me blush like a schoolgirl.
My parents called them "boomies." Now that I think back, it's a really weird word and I'm glad I never picked that up as normal. After we had kids, we just said "gas" as a noun or a verb.
In my house growing up, my mother always referred to them as "fluffs" - as in "Oops, I just fluffed. Excuse me"
I've never heard anyone else say it.
But I kinda like it.
... maybe I'll bring it back.
Literally happened to me, I was at my friends house bouncing on a trampoline when I bounced off I hit the ground and it forced a fart out of me. I said "oh no, I tooted" I'm the second oldest out of 6 so I've been conditioned to use these words. My friends made me take shit for it for the rest of the school year.
My dad blames it on "the barking lawn moths." After he'd eaten something particularly disturbing, he said, "Those barking lawn moths! It must be mating season."
We actually have barking spiders in Australia I kid you not. They look like a leggy tarantula. The common one here is 'who stepoed on a frog?' Or a variation of that like 'bloody frogs, must be mating season.'
ejeebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The common one here is 'who stepoed on a frog?' Or a variation of that like 'bloody frogs, must be mating season.'
That's an odd name. I'd have called them "chazzwozzers."
Once when the Tennessee barking spiders were blamed, someone who had never heard of them said, "oh no! Are they poisonous?" She was assured that yes indeed, they're deadly poisonous!
Haha! My parents have an "open door, everyone's welcome" policy at their house for holidays. So if you showed up, they wouldn't think that was strange at all!
We always did that only boys fart. Girls "sparkle". The first time I saw one of those little decorative signs that says "Leave a little sparkle everywhere you go" I almost died laughing.
My brother once came home from school really upset one afternoon, so naturally my mom asked him what was wrong. He told her that one of the older kids on the school bus was swearing, and using the f-word. Wanting to know what happened and whether or not she needed to contact the school (party pooper, right?), she asked what exactly the older kid said. My brother told her: "He stood up on the bus seat and yelled "HEY EVERYBODY, I JUST FARTED"".
My Mom thought SOB meant "short on brains". She ran around work calling her fellow coworkers SOBs in front of clients. She got reprimanded and came home and asked 12 year old me what SOB meant. I explained it to her. She was not happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
knowing you'd grow up all messed up and ackward about farts was the real reason.
I remember once in class, someone snitched on another person for "saying the F-word". When asked what the word was, and that they wouldn't get in trouble for answering this question, they said "stupid". I bursted out laughing hearing this conversation.
We said "fluff" instead of fart. That was more embarrassing to say in front of anyone outside of the family. I think farts should be addressed like Lord Vold...
When I was 10 I proudly told my parents that I knew the C-word. They exchanged glances and said "um... so what is it? We won't tell you off" and I replied "Crap!"
Same. We used the term 'bunnies' (a term inherited from an uncle). The term itself ended up being a source of embarrassment, as we weren't aware that this was a family-specific term and would scold fellow kids for not using that term.
Growing up my mom knew she would have to have conversations about mine and my brother's penises from time to time so we called them "tooties". Apparently she had been out to eat with a friend of hers and her friend's son and the kid yelled out in a crowded restaurant "Mom you're crushing my penis!" So ever since then I guess my mom didn't want to be that embarrassed in public. Of course we found different ways to embarrass the hell out of her.
My mom told me this at least 20 years ago so my memory is a bit fuzzy but I think he was sitting on her lap and I don't know too much more from there. I think they were at a bartop or a countertop at like a diner. Also I think the kid was in the 4-6 range. That's what my memory is telling me.
We were never to use the word fart in front of my grandmother... God if you could only imagine the obsurd language I heard growing up otherwise... nonetheless, we were only allowed to say "foo foo" if necessary. So weird.
Growing up, the kid next door was my age but had pretty severe mental retardation due to lack of oxygen at birth. He used to call farts "heinie burps." He would chase the little kids of the neighborhood in a booming Fat Albert voice yelling, HEH HEH HEH, MY HEINIE BURPED! It. Was. Amazing. He was a great friend. He only cared how you were doing and was super psyched if you asked him about his day.
My stepdaughter came home sullen from her fifth grade class one day and I asked her what was up. She replied, "My teacher called us the c-word.". Being a 32 year old at the time and knowing full well the extent of 'the c-word', I said "Honey, you won't get in trouble, I promise, but you GOTTA tell me what the c-word is.".
Can confirm. I was supervising third grade students at an after-school thing, and they wouldn't stop talking when I wanted their attention, so I said "Yo!" They all suddenly got quiet and looked at me like I'd said something bad. Apparently their teacher isn't a fan of that one. :-P
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me. One time in 5th grade is said "thucmerin thuckatash". This girl told the teacher i said the F word. I did not. The teacher asked me if i said a word that rhymed with duck. Well technically i did. After class i explained to the teacher but she was a huge bitch so i got detention. But i was a mental case with a lot of issues back tben and instead ran out of the school when the buses came. The resource cop in our school chased me. Superintendent showed up. I got in so much fucking trouble all because that asshole teacher and girl.
I forget the context but in 6th grade math class I decided to quote an episode of The Simpsons..."Shut up!...that's why". Apparently this was a big deal, and was followed by the teacher being very offended and giving me my first detention.
I work in a children's hospital and I told a little boy he needed to clean the tip of his penis.
He looked up at me with big old Bambi eyes and goes "ohhhh that's a bad word! That's the P-Word buddy! We don't say that!"
I was once in the car with my father and 13 year old niece. During a conversation, she did that same inhale and said, "grandpa said the C-word!!"
My dad and I sat there wondering when he let "cunt" slip out and I said, "wait...the C-word? I don't remember hearing him say anything bad..."
She replied, "you know crap "
Oh boy I got yelled at once when I was in middle school, because I was trying to fix the computer so my little brother and his friend could play terraria. I muttered something about how "this stupid computer never works anymore", and said friend ran down and told my mom I said "the S word".
I'm with you. Small midwest town substitute teacher. 5th and 6th are cake classes. By then, they already know what happens if they do their work or not and I can kick back and just make sure that no one dies.
Had the same experience in the suburbs. There were disruptive 5th grade boys but subbing in 5th grade was less likely to end up with the class completely off the rails, as opposed to younger kids.
Trust me when I say that high school is low maintenance as fuck. There's a little drama, but it is nothing like the younger grades. I never have to worry about a kid pissing themselves or vomiting on a test from anxiety. Their emotional and developmental issues have usually been discovered by then, so all you have to do is accommodate them. Most of them are capable of way more responsibility, etc. It's amazing. I don't want to switch to lower grades. I think I'd lose it.
I used to teach 7th and 8th grade before switching to a high school and you couldn't pay me enough to go back. I mostly teach 11th and 12th grade and I love it. The most problematic thing I have to deal with is kids being late more often than the younger kids (mostly because they no longer depend on parents to get them to school on time) and the super stressed out seniors worried about getting into university.
Also, high school, they're old enough to understand the consequences for not doing their work, so while I'll gently prompt them to get to work, I don't feel responsible if they choose not to do it. As long as they're not disruptive or doing anything that will get me fired if the principal walks in the room, I don't really have to care.
The best was when the teacher explicitly stated in her plans that if the students chose not to work it was their problem and not mine.
That's because in K-5 they're top of the foodchain and chill out. In K-6 they're not and are sick of being second bested by the 6th graders. I went to K-8, but K was a separate building. 1-5 were on one side of the school, 6-8 was on the other. 5th graders and 8th graders were both equally chill because they each had their own turf to be kings and queens of. The kindergarten building was just like the show Recess. It was madness. They even had them fenced in.
Shwinky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds just like my school, but instead we stuck the kindergarteners in a far corner of the school. They had their own playground though.
3rd grade boys are the most evil beings, with kindergarten being in second place. I'm still in college, but I sub every day I'm not in class, so 3x a week. I came home from a day of 3rd grade last week madder than I've ever been at any job.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:38:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sub here. Third grade is where all the tattle tales emerge in full force. Fifth grade, pretty chill, high schoolers do their own thing, but I keep taking middle school jobs. The drama amuses me.
I personally know the secretary at the middle school and she gives me the first chance at openings and keeps me busy 2-3 weeks in advance, so I keep taking it.
High school subbing is the easiest job in the world, though.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:49:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grade is tough because it's the first year the kids develop social lives so they can become insufferable assholes, or really awesome.
5th grade me just liked to vanish. I'd go to the office to take my meds after lunch and just wander off along the way. Had the school put on lockdown for code adam several times.. I thought it was hilarious. Until I got grounded for a month.
It's usually about half and half. I've had days where I've given tests or had the kids up and teaching them improv. There were also days where I got paid to take attendance and turn a movie on.
In my experience (which again, might be skewed based on my location), Kindergarteners and 5th graders were good to me. 1st and 2nd grade were outright anarchy. 4th grade was in the middle.
Middle school varies from day to day but usually the kids get their work done and are happy if I dab for them.
High school as you said can get boring because of how little supervision they need. I've taught for my old theatre director and I had a blast with his kids though.
Edit: I should also mention that I do an after school program with elementary kids called Latchkey so a lot of my younger kids I sub for already know me.
Can confirm. I teach 5th grade. I asked one of my boys who refused to do any work if he wanted to be a failure and he said, "Your face is a failure." I couldn't keep it together and laughed my ass off.
My nephew did something similar-he was at a soccer game, heard the supporter section chanting "YOU SUCK, ASSHOLE!" He went home, told his mom all about the game, and said he wanted to tell her what the crowd was saying. However, he was worried about saying a bad word, so mom told him to just say "beep" for the bad word. "YOU BEEP, ASSHOLE!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is actually hilarious.
OggiK ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was literally teaching 5-6 year olds today and they are going through a phase of swear words such as: fart, nuts, fat and omg. Great, so I have to stop these kids from saying meaner stuff whilst getting across that it's not swearing but not nice (as a first year student teacher straight out of college this was kinda hard for me to explain clearly).
So today I had one kid come up to me and say "X swore! He said the F-word". Expecting it to be "fart" again I asked what he said. "X said Fuck this!"
One of my friend's daughter is three. We are in the navy and naturally cuss like sailors but she isn't phased. But if we say stupid she'll point it out. Once my buddy asked her "what bad word did you say" and she hesitantly answered "stupid". Her mom and all of us started going "OOooooo you said stupid" and she burst into tears because she had done something bad.
If we stubbed a toe or got frustrated and said, "Shit!" it was fine. But we couldn't swear at someone (like, we couldn't call someone an asshole). We didn't get in trouble for swearing out of frustration but if we got mad and called someone stupid, we were in major trouble.
Spazmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my 8 year old daycare kids yells "HE SAID A BAD WORD" in every kids movie we watch. I can never figure out which words he's talking about, because there wasn't even a stupid or darn or anything. I assume he goes home and tells his parents I let them watch movies with bad language in it.
Was long-term subbing as an elementary school phys ed teacher. Was taking attendance for a kindergarten class and someone raises their hand to ask, "Mr. Kingkern, why is fuckyou a bad word?"
My little 5 year old brother heard the word "stupid" from a movie and started saying about anything and everything, so naturally my parents told him he couldn't say it, it's a bad word. You can say shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker around him and he doesn't give it a second thought. You don't even think he's listening, he's just watching movies on his iPad. But the second you say the "s word" he'll stop whatever he's doing and call you out on it "YOU SAID STUPID!"
Reminds me of Whoopi Goldberg explaining why 'stupid' is a much more offensive word than 'fuck' - there's very rarely any situation when it can be used positively.
When I was young I knew the word 'fuck' (older brothers) but thought all it meant was to tell someone 'fuck you,' as that was the only context I had for the word.
A friend in 5th grade had a step-father who liked to say "go fuck a duck" and one day she said it too. I distinctly remember our group on the school bus laughing at the concept and saying "yeah like fuck you duck." We had no clue.
When I was in the third grade, a kid that hated me thought he was going to get me suspended by inventing to the teacher that I cursed, he told the teacher that I said "buceta" (cunt in portuguese).
Teacher shows up: "Boy, you are in trouble! I know what you did!"
me: "Did what?"
Teacher: "You said a bad word!"
me: "I did?"
Teacher: "Yes, I was told you said buceta"
me: "And so what? What is buceta?" (I never had heard the word before)
Teacher: "You said it again!"
me: "That is the first time I said it, I have no idea what it means, why it is a bad word?"
Teacher: "Huh... well, nevermind."
Then I figure out who tried to pull this stunt when the kid that hates me gets a formal warning for cussing with the word 'buceta'.
I would only learn what 'buceta' meant 5 years later, when people started to use that word regularly...
EDIT: I hate reddit formatting system, why it must strip newlines?
u-void ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good job mom, my kids would have said something completely different...
sarcazm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. This sounds like my son. My husband and I almost never curse around our kids. One day, when I went to pick him up from daycare, the teacher pulled me aside and said that he accidentally stuck up his middle finger on the daycare van today. All the kids were like "Ooooh, he put up his middle finger." The kids kept going on and on about it, and my son was getting embarrassed because he had no idea what was going on.
Anyway, I had to explain to my son why sticking up the middle finger was bad. I mean, trying to explain it actually sounded dumb. Like why is putting up the middle finger equivalent to saying "F*** you?"
He was in first grade at the time (so, 7 years old). I knew the time would come when he would start hearing bad words from other kids... just wasn't sure when it would happen.
My brother did the same thing. He was probably 4-5 and we were riding in the car on the way home from school and I (15-16) was telling mom about my day and said something was fucking stupid and there was an immediate "Mommy! She said stupid!" From the back seat.
When I was in grade 7 I was outside at recess and exclaiming something to my friends and I used the term "Fuckin A" N response, my teacher was of course right behind me, put his hand around my shoulder and made this smirk and acted like it was all cool, I had a mini heart attack but that teacher will always be remembered as a cool dude in my books
This is funny, but as a parent of a 3 and almost 2 year old I think it's stupid to limit a kid from saying stupid. Now I do have a problem with my kids calling people names; that is absolutely unacceptable.
The first curse word I can remember hearing was when I was like 4-6, and my dad and I were at our neighbours' talking to him while he worked on his Lotus. He said something about "the damn engine" and then was like "oops, need to watch myself". My dad said it was fine, while I'm sitting there the whole time confused as to what a water dam has to do with the engine right in front of me, as I had a higher understanding of both than most kids my age would have.
Drigr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad this is in any way relevant to the topic.
My mom has a story like this about me when I was small and cute. Apparently we were at the park when some pesky teenager exclaimed "shit!" as he tripped over his board.
I looked at my mom, wide-eyed and very concerned, and told her "Mom...... Did you hear, that boy almost swore....."
I had been taught not to throw the word "shoot" around all willy nilly because it was a swear, apparently.
Oh my goodness, I read this with a long O instead of a long U. I had no idea what was going on. I even frantically searched the comments to try and figure it out
atrobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a k-8 school and while the older ones are saying the real swear words (and think I can't hear them), the little ones are always tattling on each other for saying "poop." it's cute
Kaylila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school did same thing but our word was "Son of a Biscuit Eater."
I think you might have been teaching my French teacher's kids. She taught them that the "s" word is 'stupid' and the "f" word is 'fat'. This is the exact scenario I pictured them getting into when I found out that fact.
Haha that's epic! As I remember I used to be like this too, then in second grade my aunt, who was 16 at the time , was watching South Park with her bf while she was babysitting me. So that night I learned like ten bad words and then , exactly as in the movie, I started swearing at every one at school.... all of the kids in my class started swearing because of me. One day, while we were waiting on the teacher, we were all cursing at each others and all the class got in trouble . One of the little bastards rat on me and o got expelled (Catholic school) . Looking back it was and still is fucking fun to swear
My brother has autism and for the longest time up until he was about 7 you could not say the "S" word. You could say fuck, shit, cunt, any other "curse" word just not stupid
This reminds me of when my daughter was in kindergarten. Somehow the subject of "bad words" came up. I have a bit of a mouth on me sometimes, so my husband and I were curious how much my daughter had learned (since we had only once ever heard her say one). We asked her if she knew what the "f-word" was. She paused for a moment and then replied, "I know 2 'f-words.'"
I replied, "Really, 2, what are they?"
With total confidence, she responded, "'fat' and 'fart.'" Both were words the kindergarten teachers were adamant were not allowed to be used. Apparently since my cussing was so commonplace, no one reacted much when I said "fuck" and so she hadn't realized it wasn't something she was supposed to say.
My parents keep telling this story of me coming home crying out of the bus (like 1st grade age about) because someone said "the s- word" on the bus. They kept questioning me about what that student who said "the s-word" actually said being concerned parents seeing me so upset about this word and eventually I gave in and told them that he said "stupid".
Don't have any memories of this specifically but I do remember being sensitive to the word "stupid" around that age just because my like 70 year old 1st grade teacher warned us ahead of time to reading a story that the story had a horrible word in it and none of this could repeat it (that word being stupid).
pjor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it about elementary schoolers that makes them say "Ooooo" right before they tattle? This was common during my elementary school days as well.
My mother was substitue teaching either late elementary or early middle school, I can't remember which, but one kid yelled, Mrs C, so-and-so said the S-word! So my mom leaned over and asked the kid what the s-word was, and he uttered it as though he would immediately be expelled for admitting that he said "sexy."
So, being the understanding person she is, my mom held in her giggles and calmly asked him to use it in a sentence, to ascertain whether or not he was using it in an inappropriate way.
His response: "My sandwich is sexy."
My mom still laughs about this whenever it is brought up.
In my elementary school, we would say stuff like fat-bleep instead of fatass, bleep you, go to bleep, etc., with the "bleep" pronounced as a word. One day, a kid accidentally said bleep-ass instead of fat-bleep, and our lives were changed forever...
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An activist said, "The Supreme Court fucking sucks, burn the whole thing down."
The Supreme Court said, "The authorities may stop you from saying 'fucking'."
[deleted] ยท 1709 points ยท Posted at 00:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a comedy bit I heard a while ago. Kid was in Elementary school, I forget which grade, and the teacher asks him who shot JFK. Kid simply looks at her and innocently says, "I didn't do it!"
Comedian says this was in NY back in the 80's, and he was raised in a stereotype Scorsese gangster-movie environment. Just for background.
Teacher decides to call the kid's house because she's concerned about the answer he gave earlier. Dad picks up the phone, teacher explains his son's behavior, Dad simply replies, "If he says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it!!"
Levlove ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping my dad build my room in the basement and he had me strip the ends of wires for the future outlets. He got a huge kick out of telling my mother that I spent the day learning how to be a stripper.
I dont know if this is a general joke because in a finnish sketch-tvshow there was this hilarious sketch where a teacher asked a student where the eskimo lives. and the student wouldnt answer but he would just talk with a friend. he kept asking until the student threw something in the face of the teacher and said "well not in our house for sure, fuck" and then the teacher goes to the students home to tell this to his father. and the dad just says "well he has all kinds of friends around but if he said there is no eskimo in our house then there is none."
ciprock ยท 529 points ยท Posted at 02:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was giving the puberty lesson to some 5th grade boys. Told them they'd see their friends and the girls get taller, voice becoming deeper and they'll bumps on their faces and chins.
Kid raises his hand..."my mom said not to kiss girls with bumps on their lips"
hfw1986 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 04:09:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In primary school our science teacher asked us to compare our facial features with our parents , then wrote down which part of us looks similar , and why.
My brother's answer was "my dad and I are both chubby because I was his sperm".
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:05:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm adopted too. I'm also Asian. My parents are both white. I've had people come up to me and say "You look just like your mom/dad!" Lady. Who are you looking at? I'm tan, black hair, brown eyes, and almond shaped eyes. My parents have blonde/brown hair, blue eyes, white skin, and wide eyes.
I've known one friend that did still resemble her parents and siblings even though she was adopted. She was adopted from within the family, her aunt was her mother.
I have no body hair and a slightly protruding nasal ridge from a ~7% Cherokee background. My dad was the provider of these genes, but he's a super hairy quarter Italian guy. Guess you get some delay of the phenotype in my family.
I don't know about OP, but in my school the kids would switch teachers for one subject in 4th or 5th grade (year 5 or 6), we only had two classrooms of each grade. We'd grab the book for that class and go to the other teacher's room for about an hour then come back for the rest of the day. I don't know if it was to prep us for secondary school or because one of the teachers sucked at the subject the other taught.
Yes - we have different teachers for different subjects (I studied primary school in Japan). Oh and we don't change classroom for every period ; in Japan , the teacher comes to us.
I didn't mind switching classrooms, give you a chance to stretch your legs every hour or so and it usually meant the classroom was tailored to the subject, like for science when doing experiments and shit.
edit: Just realised you said primary school haha, hope you werent playing with bunsen burners in primary school lol
Not a teacher, but something I did in high school Spanish. We were reading Don Quixote, and had a quiz covering a few chapters. In the chapter "The Galley Slaves" Don Quixote and Sancho Panza get pelted with rocks, and Sancho falls off of his donkey.
Q: What happened in the chapter "The Galley Slaves?"
My answer: Sancho got stoned off his ass. Had to explain that one to the teacher to not get in trouble, and it was apparently a joke in the Spanish department for a few years after I graduated.
Some language classes have comprehension tests in the students' first language to make sure they actually understood. Writing in the language being taught is tested separately.
why does it matter. maybe the teacher was english and liked reading tests in his/her native language better, maybe you just need to shut up.. who knows?
Kadasix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:33:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta remember that
trf6_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about the Fukushima nuclear plant being hit by the tsunami. The (brilliant) young lad that was most engaged wanted to exclaim his understanding for the situation, but his slip of the tongue led to: "Nuclear pants are dangerous." We all agreed. And wrote the quote up on the board as a keeper for the rest of the school year.
Shout out to "Hotwheels." That was not his only board-worthy quote.
Edit: Jeez!, Fine Fukushima! I know nuclear power is not that dangerous, the kid didn't though! It is not a "Freudian" slip; I'm not even sure how I came to that conclusion. And yes, "Hotwheels" did run around like a crazy kid. No, my mind is not subtly broken, it is jaggedly cracked. Also, I can't believe I never saw that GWB quote, nutty!
The reason it isn't Freudian is be Freudian reveals unconscious thoughts or desires. I doubt he was desiring pants while excited about Fukushima.
Slips off the tongue isn't parapraxis. Here's the wiki article definition:
A Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of an unconscious subdued wish or internal train of thought.
it's still a freudian slip. in this case, he would be desiring something else, something that, for whatever reason, is connected in his unconscious mind to the signifier "pants." "pants" sounds very similar to "plants" and so he misspoke.
you're misunderstanding the way the unconscious works. it's not something that's going to make sense in a conscious, surface-level way, because it functions almost as a separate language. it's going to appear highly nonsensical.
Hah, one of my teachers kept memorable quotes up on the board too! The best one was some kid who said "helicopters circumcise lawsuits" when he meant to say circumvent. The same kid later said IED instead of IUD when we were giving presentations about birth control.
Dexaan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:33:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading out loud for English class and said "circumcise" instead of "circumscribe". Teacher decided that it now became the day we learned about malapropisms.
That's not a Freudian slip, Freudian would have to reveal subconscious feelings. Something like, "Nuclear parents are dangerous." Unless he had a fear of pants that isn't the correct term.
no, you're kind of wrong. based on how language is integrated by the unconscious mind, a slip like that is still parapraxis. to explain very roughly, the kid's unconscious mind was associating to something else for some reason (that reason doesn't necessarily have to be understandable on a conscious surface-level) and so he used a different word that was phonetically similar.
In middle school geography I remember a girl getting really excited about knowing the answer and yelled out "United condom!" While meaning to say "United Kingdom".
I had a kid that went to my high school with the same nickname. I'm not certain, but I think he got the nickname for wearing shorts with flames on them haha
One of my classmates called the endoplasmic reticulum the endoplasmic rectum during a presentation quite enthusiastically while pointing at his version of it in his diorama.
*Fukushima. Sorry, had to point it out. Also, toss this question their way: "What was Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant originally built to survive?" (Hint, it was built by americans, with blueprints for american land.)
The reactor's emergency diesel generators and DC batteries, crucial components in helping keep the reactors cool in the event of a power loss, were located in the basements of the reactor turbine buildings. The reactor design plans provided by General Electric specified placing the generators and batteries in that location, but mid-level engineers working on the construction of the plant were concerned that this made the backup power systems vulnerable to flooding. TEPCO elected to strictly follow General Electric's design in the construction of the reactors
The secondary diesel generators were in a basement so that in the case of a Tornado, they would survive. The construction continued without modifying this. When the Tsunami came in, it flooded the basement. Had it been above ground, on a roof or off site the disaster could have been better contained.
I think TEPCO was worried about cost-overruns. The GEBP was tried and worked true to design in the USA. If they moved the diesel generators they would need to redesign and rethink some parts, or they could just follow the BP exactly and point at it if something went wrong.
Nuclear power plants are not that dangerous comparatively to coal mines, for example. Many more people die in the process of mining coal than in the process of nuclear fission. Cancer rates among survivors of Chernobyl and Fukushima are over-exaggerated.
Nah I think we lost our chance at that. It would have been nice but seeing as how it actually looks like people are determined to cover every empty field with solar panels and turbines it looks like we might actually get stuck with renewables.
I agree but if we end up with enough renewables to actually power everything there won't be much point in replacing them with nuclear power even if it would have made more sense to just start with that.
Except that to scale up solar power to the levels we need requires a lot of land area, and a lot of batteries. On-shore wind farms might be scalable, but there are tons of problems with wind turbines, least of which being that it kills birds. Can you imagine what whole beach full of wind turbines would do to the local bird population?
Of course it isn't like nuclear power is without its flaws. High level waste can only be stored in deep underground vats where it will be for the rest of observable time pretty much. Still I think that's a better option than fossil fuels, and a more viable option than other renewables.
Except that to scale up solar power to the levels we need requires a lot of land area, and a lot of batteries.
Sure and that is part of why I never liked solar but people are actually using the massive amounts of land needed. I agree full heartily that nuclear wold have been a saner choice but if renewables get in place first, which is looking surprisingly likely, there will be little reason to tear them down and replace them. It is not like renewables are actually inherently bad options, they just are costly options.
Curved lines are still pretty line-y. Circles are still pretty line-y. A plane minus a line would be fine but 2 dimensions is arbitrary. An infinite vector space minus a line? I think I've overthought this.
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the mรธรธse with the sharpened end of an interspace tรธรธthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian mรธvies: "The Hรธt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mรธlars of Horst Nordfink"
I am going to double down on this. You are absolutely wrong. The fetus gets its nutrients from the mothers bloodstream. Babies' teeth are made from the calcium in the mothers' bones; their iron, from her blood; and so on. Everything is from the mother's body.
the placenta is an organ that draws the needed nutrients from the mothers body and sends it to the baby. It doesnt have the nutrients itself. It is a conduit.
It is still connected to the mother when birth happens. About a half hour after birth, the placenta sloughs off and then is expelled in a manner similar to the birth of the baby.
labrev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why exactly are you being downvoted to hell?
"The placenta (also known as afterbirth) is an organ that connects the developing fetus to the uterine wall to allow nutrient uptake, provide thermo-regulation to the fetus, waste elimination, and gas exchange via the mother's blood supply, fight against internal infection and produce hormones to support pregnancy. "
It's a Markiplier reference. (Although I guess it's technically on one of his friends channels, if your video has Mark as a guest star, it becomes Mark's video. Goddamn I love that guy.
I was reading through my evaluations at the end of the semester, and the last question was "Do you have any further comments?" One of my students wrote "My favorite band is the Red Hot Chili Peppers."
That's like the old joke where the guy is going through customs and they ask him if he has anything to declare and he says something like 'yes, it's a beautiful day'
A man who goes through the turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
amclar ยท 1197 points ยท Posted at 01:38:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching adult ESL to company workers playing scattergories. Topic was "something that grows" letter: i
answer: "Influence of Russia in the Ukraine"
This was in 2014 for reference.
teh_maxh ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in 2014 for reference.
They dropped the definite article in 1993.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd that someone from Ukraine used the definite article. I was always told the locals took offense to it because Ukraine means "borderland" in Russian or something, so calling it "The Ukraine" makes it sound like an unofficial region rather than a country.
Ukraine means "borderland" in Russian or something, so calling it "The Ukraine" makes it sound like an unofficial region rather than a country.
Obviously they get to choose what they want to be called, but whenever this is given as the actual reason I can't help think of silly responses like "The United States has no idea what you're talking about" or "United States understands your situation completely".
(Yes, people do sometimes cite "rules" for why US is one way, but those rules are usually generalizations from too few examples that have no predictive power. The main answer is generally tradition.)
More like 'outskirt', but I guess the meaning could have changed since that word was first used several centuries ago.
KsbjA ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A while ago, maybe in 2014, there was an article about how the article (I just realized it's a pun, but I'm keeping it) is used for names of rough geographical regions, not sovereign states, and therefore not using it in the case of Ukraine is more respectful toward the sovereign statehood of Ukraine.
(The case with the United States is different, as unions of several states/countries are also referred to with an article. Similarly, in German, Switzerland is "die Schweiz", because it's actually the Swiss Confederacy, which is also what the CH stands for (Confederatio Helvetica)).
Someone saying that in 2014 is entirely plausible though, my middle high school teacher was insistent we use it, and that was in like 2013. Not correct, apparently, but entirely plausible.
krashlia ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:54:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated (kinda) but one of my fondest memories is playing scattergories with my parents. The topic was "fish" and the letter was "B". Of course all of us said bass and my dad was so proud because he has something different for once. He smiled at my mom, pointed at her and said "Flounder"... more than 10 years later and he still can't live it down.
Oh Scattergories with the right group is a blast. My favorite that I remember from high school was Things you would have to save a lot of money to buy, starting with E, and my friend said Estonia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you know my boi Shrek right? well Putin and me were playing some airhockey while choke slamming some midgets. When out of nowhere MH-17 kamikazed into the WTC and then fucking beer fell out of my pocket. The stream is still going strong so I might open up a cafe. Vote Ukraine to join Africa, and fuck a bag of tomatoes. 1337 420 pussy maker.
I was the student, my teacher asked 'what's another word for dead end?(in literature)'. I put my hand up and said cul-de-sac (being genuine). Class just laughed at me.
I'm always full of those answers. The other day in art my professor asked what the elements were (in context of lines but I wasn't paying attention) and I said Nitrogen.
SethQ ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 05:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been job hunting for about two months. I went to get a tattoo the other day and the lady scheduling the appointment said "and do you have any references?" and I just stared at her for what was clearly too long because she followed up with "you know, art you wanted to base the design off?".
In my defense, I had just gotten off work and been up since 2am.
rexxwyld ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cul-de-sacs are round suburban street-ends. Pretty common in America, they're designed so you can have a dead end residental street that allows cars to turn around without making a 3-point turn.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 01:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what's a dead end in literature? I've honestly never heard that term before, despite taking some pretty advanced english courses.
It's a point where the story can no longer progress, either because the author ran out of inspiration or because a situation became unresolvable in a reasonable manner. It requires that the author backs up to an earlier point in the story or breaks the rules of good storytelling (in regularity published media this is usually where you'll find a Deus Ex Machina, or a just-a-dream scenario).
edit: machina, not machinima
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:58:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
paraouji ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've often seen this by the name "plot cul-de-sac", specifically for what seems like a developing plotline that doesn't resolve but doesn't affect anything. A shandified narrative is full of these.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently "shandified" is a rather new term coined by a video game blogger, in reference to 18th century novel The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy.
Lost wasn't a dream, there is straight up a line in the last episode that the time on the Island was the most important times of their lives.
The only parts that didn't happen per se are when Desmond is working for Charles gathering everyone, which takes place after the main events of the show, after everyone has died (either naturally or as shown on screen).
Sorry for the tangent, but I love Lost and feel like the ending gets a bad rap.
Unless you mean the deus ex machina, in which case yeah the island kinda was wrapped up a bit unsatisfactorily
Edited for literary terms
I didn't say it was a dream, I was saying it was a dead end. Literally and literarily.
Tysheth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
per say
a bad wrap
I'd normally pass this by, but since we're in a literature thread, I feel compelled to let you know that the first is normally spelled "per se" and the second, in this instance, should be "a bad rap".
cegbe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I won't lie I can't remember what the word she was looking for was, but it was more something symbolic like 'redundant' or something similar. She certainly wasn't looking for what a type of street was called.
It's an impasse - a point at which seemingly no progress is possible. For instance a group of adventurers might reach an impasse such as a chasm over a river with no bridge.
jmeeezy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could it have been "red herring"? I guess in the way that a plot line leads readers to a dead end?
oh my god, because it's shaped like the bottom of a sack.
olegos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and also of course it was a double entendre for the dead-endedness of living a conformist suburban life at the end of a cul-de-sac and the futility and meaninglessness of existence
In German the chemical Hexene is called Hexen, which is also the same word for 'witches'. So when the test question was 'Draw the structural formula of 3-hexene' someone just drew 3 witches.
I was teaching a high school consumerism class when, at the time, we were learning about different marketing techniques, some of which are particularly cunning. So during class discussion I ask if any of the students had been "suckered" into buying something but when they received it they were completely disappointed. The product was not quite as advertised.
One guy who was older than the rest of his classmates jumped up with an example he couldn't wait to share. "When i turned 18, I couldn't wait to buy [Girls Gone Wild."] Without further questioning he said, "Everything was just like the ads except for the tits."
My class (AP English Language and Composition) recently did consumerism too. We had a question stating "what is one way to attract attention to a customer?"
A fellow student answered "get a huge sign and follow them"
I mean it was correct but it wasn't the type of answer we were looking for.
Hust91 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would you ask how to attract attention to someone?
I believe the answer she wanted was supposed to reference the ideas in Thomas Hine's "The Science of Shopping" not a big sign. He did get credit though
Hust91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, it's not a misstatement then, the question is literally how to make other people pay attention to the customer?
ibcrandy ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 04:02:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, just a parent. My wife and I were going over animal sounds with our son. He was three at the time and was getting all the sounds right, and just to throw him a curve ball my wife asked "what does the fish say?" His reply was "Help! Put me back in the water!" Took us a few minutes to recover from that.
Oh, this just happened today! I wish I could upload the picture I took of this response. Long story short, as part of a vocabulary building activity in 9th grade English, the students were supposed to draw a visual representation of one of this unit's vocabulary words. A student turned in a drawing for the word "tyranny." The drawing consisted of a stick figure teacher labeled "Ms. GoblinQueen" (me) in front of three stick figure students. I laughed out loud when I saw it. He isn't technically wrong; most days, I am more of a tyrannical dictator than a democratic leader of the class.
Oh, we definitely are not! As the only literate goblin of the tribe, I have made use of my words and my cunning. I overthrew the previous chieftain (read: I stuck his head on a pike) and have forced the institution of "skool" on all of the tribe members. All hail Goblin Queen, the only gobbo teacher.
Until the first group of hobgoblins and orcs comes along with their frost giant buddy, and then you're the first one strapped into spiked armor and hefted into the backpack-mounted catapult. The Queen is ammunition! Long live the Queen!
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:58:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an hones level 11th grade class on US history, my teacher used the word "tyranny" and one of the girls in our class put up a hand and asked "what's tyranny?". A little shocked, my teacher asked the class, "can anyone define tyranny without using the word "tyrant"?"
This poor girl...she, before anyone can try to answer says "Wait! Like...hang on, Tyrant? Like...the dinosaur?"
My teacher asks. "What?"
This girl responds with "You know, like, tyrant-saurus Rex or something?"
I laughed my ass off. The class laughed their asses off. The teacher tried really hard not to just laugh at the student. It was hilarious. This is the same teacher who, when we asked to go outside, and said we had taken a vote and decided class was outside today, said "this class is a benevolent tyranny, not a democracy". She was pretty great.
One time, when we were eating lunch, one little girl called another kid in the class "stupid." A third preschooler -- who was a stickler for the rules and a bit of a tattle tale -- overheard and began admonishing the name caller.
"Don't call people stupid," she exclaimed. "Stupid is a bad word, and we don't say bad words."
A fourth child, Henry, overheard this announcement. Henry was always getting into trouble -- the smart ones are trouble makers at that age. He was my favorite student.
He looked directly at me, raised one eyebrow and said, "Oh yeah? Bitch and fuck are bad words too. We don't say those either."
I died.
Ospov ยท 590 points ยท Posted at 02:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of some preschoolers I taught. We were going to read Goldilocks and the Three Bears and one kid freaked out.
"We can't read that book! It has a bad word in it!" The book obviously does not have a bad word in it, but he was pretty adamant it had a bad word in it. When asked about it, he said "when the bears come back in and Goldilocks sees them she says 'OH SHIT! A BEAR!'"
Oh yeah, my first thought was "dad strikes again". In kindy i got in trouble heaps of times for repeating, in all seriousness, things that my dad thought were hilarious. He never did learn not to tell those kind of jokes to small children, but I sure as shit learned not to believe anything that comes out of his bullshitting mouth.
Lol reminds me of me, while I don't curse, reading the same story over and over and OVER again to my toddlers gets a bit dry and boring for most adults so I tend to improvise every so often going by what is shown in the books rather than what's actually written.
My wife says, just wait until they're bigger and can read and find out you apparently can't.
I just can't help it, I often wonder what the writers were thinking when they wrote books like go dog, go
[deleted] ยท 2031 points ยท Posted at 21:58:18 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A person contacted Niantic, the company who created Pokemon Go, for support when they lost items they purchased via microtransactions. A few weeks later, a Niantic customer service representative responded, but rather than an actual response it was just "r". Ever since then it's been a meme of sorts, poking fun at how bad Niantic's customer interaction is.
I love little kids saying bad words, it's hilarious.
I'm a sub and I think my favorite instance of this was an ill-fated kindergarten vocabulary lesson. I had a bunch of children at a table brainstorming "-it" words, which of course went badly.
Little boy: Is HIT in the -it family?
Me: It is! It's kind of a not-nice word, but it counts!
Little blonde girl, dressed in pink: Miss ThatWriterKid, does that mean "shit" is in the -it family too?
Me: ...Well, yes, it is.
Boy: But that's not a school word.
Me: No, it's not a school word! It's a strong word, so we don't use it at your age.
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 01:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry realized that it is appropriate to use offensive language in the context of explaining offensive language. Seeing that it was acceptable to say bitch and fuck without reprisal, Henry grasped his opportunity, and he celebrated his victory with a raised eye brow.
olegos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just that toddlers swearing is pretty funny in any context
I have an aunt who still tells me not to say "bad words" like "stupid" when I'm around her. I'm 22. She's pretty difficult to be around for long periods of time.
She once told me a story about her friend who made what I deemed a poor decision, and asked me what I thought about it. Thinking I'd humor her, I told her that her friend was "being foolish", to which she responded that I shouldn't call people foolish. I tried again, and said that her friend "made a foolish decision," to which she was similarly offended. At that point I gave up, told her that her "dipshit friend fucked up," and walked away.
jeppev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest (3 years) caught his mom saying 'for helvede' (meaning for hell) and repeated it. The first times we couldn't help ourselves and had to smile and chuckle. We then learned him, that it was an ugly word and now, once a week he is very adamant on telling us, that he never says 'for helvede', and that this other kid is saying 'for helvede' and that 'for helvede' is an ugly word, managing to say 'for helvede' a hell of a lot :) its hard not to laugh.
ext23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry is the kind of name that I can only imagine toddlers or really old people having.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:57:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, maybe not. My good friend's very quiet daughter did something very similar in preschool. The teacher said something about being kind and saying nice words, and this little 4 year old quietly says "and that's why we don't say bitch."
Because it permits lazy language, it's crude to listen to, and on the rare occasions it's really justified, it's not nearly as effective because of the diluted effect.
The counter-argument is: "They're just words, like any other. Quit treating them as special."
They aren't words like any other. When half of what some people say is one of seven 4-letter-words in various verbed or adjectivized forms, it starts to grate on you. If they weren't swear words, they wouldn't be used so much. Paradoxically, those saying: "They're no big deal." while swearing casually and constantly are not giving it no-special-treatment. They're just giving them the opposite-special treatment. It's still special treatment.
When I come across someone who swears incessantly, It makes me think of a 12-year-old who learned about swearing for the first time and does it as much as they can to 'seem like an adult'.
I think it's an important tool in communication to use the same vocabulary as the people you're speaking to. If you religiously avoid cursing while working on a farm or an oil rig, you'll be treated differently. Swearing occasionally in a white collar workplace makes a person more informal and relatable. More creative language is always nice, but I feel swearing is a very important part of communication.
I'll certainly agree against any religious language-policing. If someone is visibly losing their shit (pardon my french) but is using language like "Gosh-darnit" then that betrays a very active refusal to swear, which starts to look dishonest. Like they're hiding behind a mask. That can be intimidating or disconcerting for people you work with.
Though by the same token, someone who just doesn't swear (maybe hardly is more what I'm going for) as general habit will be noticed by some other people that swear more casually, but that doesn't mean they have to change.
It might been seen as a quirk, but people aren't going to dislike you or ostracize you for not swearing casually. It's like teasing someone who doesn't drink alcohol. It's noticeable they don't drink, and even teasing will happen. But it's not like you get uncomfortable around someone who doesn't drink. It just makes them, them. (Plus, free Designated Driver!)
Right? I can barely speak the language but I can still curse like a sailor in it.
Mom's whole side of the family is Puerto Rican. My worst mistake was saying it in front of my crazy aunt when she was making me carry heavy dishes downstairs and yelling at me every time the food shifted a little. I muttered it and there was silence before...
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOUNG LADY!?"
I booked it down those stairs.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right up there with: "Ffs stop fucking swearing you fuckin fuckers!"
A fourth child, Henry, overheard this announcement. Henry was always getting into trouble -- the smart ones are trouble makers at that age. He was my favorite student.
I don't think the smart ones ever stop being the trouble-makers. I think they are just better at concealing it :)
I mean I was considered "highly gifted," and I went to a special "gifted" school (had to take and entrance exam and everything to get into their kindergarten class) and I can tell you that I was never a trouble maker at that age. The only times I got in trouble were when I didn't understand the reasoning behind a rule or if I thought the rule was dumb. I am not saying I didn't break the rules, but I wasn't deliberately making trouble because I actually wanted to be in school.
A preschooler knows those words? How bad has society become? I had no inkling of the word "hell" until elementary school, and then I promised myself I would never use it until high school; a promise I kept.
For the record, the question is fixed if you are given a barometer and only a barometer. Not a ruler or a stopwatch or a string or a building superintendent.
It's like when tasked with measuring the height of a building, and the expected answer is the ratio of shadow length, rather than straightforwardly measuring the height of the building.
I could measure the stairs in barometer-lengths, then compute the height of the building in barometer-lengths. Technically measured, even if not in any standard units.
If you are allowed to walk from the bottom of the building to the top, then you can find the superintendent, you don't have to be "given" one.
Also depending on how accurate the measurement needs to be, you could still perform the stopwatch method just by counting the time in your head.
Or you could give the height of the building in units of barometer-lengths, without needing to measure the barometer with a ruler.
The only way to formulate the question so it truly has only one possible solution would be: "Given the following two measurements of barometric pressure, taken at different levels of elevation at a certain location on the surface of the Earth under ordinary atmospheric conditions, calculate the distance difference in altitude between the two points at which the measurements were taken."
You can't calculate the distance under your formulation, only the different in altitude. Those will be very similar numbers in the context of this question, but it would be very difficult indeed to make them exactly equal.
Place the barometer vertically on the tallest point of the building. The total height is 1 building plus 1 barometer. The building height is the total height minus 1 barometer, or one building.
The original question doesn't specify. Also the OP clearly made it up. Nobody would specify that the barometer is a meter long unless you intend to use it as a distance measuring tool.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they are intentionally giving information they think you can't use.
Given only a protractor and the length of a building's shadow, how would you measure the height of a building?
Answer: Travel to a third world country and sell the protractor as a futuristic device. Trade up until you can afford to buy a copy of the building's blueprints, and find out the height from there.
It's a pretty bullshit question. You'd just about need to be measuring a skyscraper to get any meaningful difference in reading with a household aneroid barometer. A 100m tall building at sea level would have less than 1% difference in air pressure from the bottom to the top, and that difference would shrink as the ground level increases. Plus, you'd have all sorts of variation in measurement from wind and temperature differences measuring a tall building in a city.
3) Run a plumb line of the roof and mark it. Use the meter-long barometer to measure the length of the plumb line.
4) Stand the barometer on end and measure the length of the shadow it casts. Measure the length of the shadow cast by the building. The ratio of the length of the barometer to the length of its shadow will be the same as the ratio of the building height to the length of its shadow.
byllz ยท 4136 points ยท Posted at 23:59:37 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5) Place barometer on edge of roof. From the ground, use a laser range finder to find the distance from the ground to the barometer.
6) Use the Mercury in the barometer to create mercury fulminate. Use the mercury fulminate as an ignitor for a large amount of black powder to demolish the building. The building's height is now 0.
Black powder isn't a great explosive for performing demolition. It tends to deflagrate rather than detonate, and mercury fulminate, while a great primary explosive used in building up your explosive train, isn't reliably initiated by convenient means.
ISUJinX ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 00:26:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, almost! I should've remembered that one too... Imperative, I think it's called? I'm trying to learn french, so I try to read as much as I can, but I still have a long way to go :P
Yep, that's imperative! I think there are some additional nuances of conjugation, but I just basically remember it as when there's no explicit subject, it's imperative. Also, it changes objects around so it's "Dites-moi quelque chose" for instance for "Tell me something" (rather than, for instance, "Vous me dites quelque chose" for "You tell me something", indicative rather than imperative).
Elon61 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French lacks a continuous aspect per se, meaning that events that English would describe using its continuous aspect, French would describe using a neutral aspect. Therefore, there is no way to say "you tell me..." compared to "you're telling me..." (the copula "to be" is used together with the present participle, marked with the suffix "-ing".) In French, there is no such aspect to distinguish actions that are occurring at the time in question, and actions that focus on a wider time-scale.
That being said, there does exist the periphrastic construction รชtre en train de (to be in the middle of). For example: "je suis en train de parler" means "I'm in the middle of speaking", or more broadly, "I'm speaking". But generally speaking, this construction is not necessary and Francophones can tell by nuance whether you are using. One can also say "j'รฉtais en train de..." which means "we were in the middle of...".
There is an exception for the past tense. There exists the simple historic past tense, which is used often in literature. The imperfect does have a continuous aspect in relation to the simple (historic) past; e.g. nous parlions quand il frappa ร la porte ("we were speaking when he knocked at the door"). However, the passรฉ composรฉ is more often used to denote past events with a neutral aspect in a non-narrative context.
There are also other interesting constructions to express something just having happened, or just about to happen. Namely, these are the "simple past" and the "near future". These are constructed respectively as such: present indicative conjugation of "venir" plus "de" and the present indicative conjugation of "aller". For example: "je viens de parler" means "I just spoke", and "je vais parler" means "I am going to speak" (as contrasted with "I will speak", which evokes a wider time scale).
Quebec French often expresses a continuous sense using the periphrastic construction รชtre aprรจs (literally, "to be after"); for example, English's "we were eating" might be expressed in Quebec French either as nous รฉtions aprรจs manger, or as simply nous mangions, using the imparfait.
What this all adds up to: for /u/coinaday's phrase "vous me dites quelque chose", both "you're telling me something" and "you tell me something" are acceptable translations. I hope this all helps.
Elon61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: the Jรจrrais continuous aspect is formed exactly as in Rhinish German. Jรจrrais constructs the continuous with the verb รชt' (be) plus ร (preposition) plus the infinitive. For example, j'tรชmes ร mangi translates as "we were eating". Not sure why I'm saying this. Languages can be a fascinating rabbit hole.
Thank you for the explanation! I keep forgetting what each form is actually called, because I never learned them before... I just keep doing the excersizes on duolingo and hope it'll stick eventually :P
Plus, I read a couple of issues of Asterix 'cause I loved that comic when I was a kid, and what better way to get some french immersion training?
You're welcome! Duolingo is great. I took some French in high school and college, but probably would have forgotten most of it without Duolingo to review. I don't put as much time into it as I would like, and it's definitely harder learning languages I don't have prior exposure to, but it's a pretty cool system. I just got started on the Romanian; I was really excited to see them finally getting that one going.
Yeah, duolingo managed to do what high school french classes couldn't; get me to actually become kinda sorta conversational in french. At least I don't need a dictionary for every word now, just every third or so :P
I actually kinda want to try to learn Swahili... partially because it looks kinda cool, and also because I'm like the whitest guy you can imagine, so it would be freaking hilarous to bust out some swahili when people don't expect it :P
Thank you! And yes, they are xD Waaay more to remember than with norwegian (my native language)... though I guess I'm kinda biased there 'cause, y'know, native language.
You'd have to put the mercury fulminate into a tennis ball and then throw it at the black powder to get a good contact detonation... but you better be a good aim.
Not my method... I learned this from my chemistry lab assistant.
No, he skipped a few steps, but it works. You look up contracting companies in the city and pick the largest one. Then you drive to every school in city limits and pick up the kids with the same last name as the owner of the company. You tie them all two chairs seated in a tight ring around the drum of black powder. Place a call to the company and tell them they've got 12 hours to level the building completely or you light the fuse.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To make a big boom, you need stuff to get really really hot really really fast.
Black powder gets really hot really fast. That's not good enough.
Mercury fulminate gets really really hot really really fast, but it takes one of a very few things to make that happen, and it's not easy to make any of those things happen. Mercury fulminate gets so hot, so fast, that it's one of the things that makes other things get really really hot really really fast.
Syrdon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. You can, reasonably safely*, set off a pile of black powder. Same with cordite. You couldn't do that with a high explosive.
*safely, as compared to the sort of explosives you use to demolish buildings. Clearly you shouldn't do this anywhere near anything anyone actually likes.
Koker93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One night we drew a line of black power to a pile of black powder and coverd the pile with a soup can. Not a large pile, like 1/3 of a golf ball. You light the trail and boom goes the soup can. We stopped when one went sideways instead of up and missed a friends head by a few inches. I doubt it would have done any serious damage, but that was enough drunken pyromania for the night.
makes a nice snappy crack when you strike a little bit with a hammer. As you said though, I wouldn't recommend that as a method to detonate a larger explosion
Ummm everyone knows you just have to crystallize it then throw a handful-sized bag of it really hard on the floor and it will blow up the whole room........
7) Sell the barometer. Invest money wisely. Accumulate considerable wealth. Purchase building. Demolish building. Rebuild it to desired height. Now you know the height of the building.
7) Create a pendulum, time the period of the swing, estimate height from your choice of pendulum equations that I've forgotten since taking physics 30 year ago.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:13:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8) Obtain air pressure at floor level, then obtain air pressure at rooftop. Then find your ASL elevation and get current air temperature readings. Then figure out :
Z = C x ( Bo - B ) / ( Bo + B )
C = 52494 x ( 1 + To + T - 64 ) / 900
Work it out to determine Z both both locations and the difference in altitude is the height of the building.
This will be difficult if you have an aneroid barometer or if you have a metric barometer (inches of mercury/inHg vs millibars). I'd recommend finding a barometric pressure conversion chart.
Pulling this outta my ass, except the formula that I ripped off google without checking if it was the actual formula I was looking for.
So nobody is going to diff the pressure readings at the top and bottom? Or Weigh the barometer and then suspend both the barometer and the building from a thread and measure the deflection? Or reform the barometer into an airfoil and propeller and determine the lift required. Or use the baton as the grand prize for whoever builds an exact duplicate of the original building, only this time we weigh each component and write down the number. Or we use the barometer to stuff it up someone arse since they are so famous a baritromotist.Or using our baton orchestrator skills sheave a small bit fascinated crew begin on a project to discredit the original building, depressing its value by no small margin, and when the strike price is met, tell the, you want a huge lamp at the top, and you want to stand in the lobby ready to light the lamp. You lit a hot air balloon and tied a string to it,and the other end to the barometer,there to keep it from laying off. The balloon reaches the top. It scrunched up on the ceiling, a lumpy shape with nevertheless a clearly distinction of how far the string was from roof, them the child, the brash one, takes his pellet, takes clear and confident,CEO confidence that his rubbed against is, gave up a moment of clarety. The pistol snaps and the faint touch of lead pellet to the balloon, its ribbon coiling form fast and now we km how far the work was from those who could disrupt the job without even caring.
The barometer, badly incalibrated, still has mass and heft. Uncle swung it down grinning at the guards who'd sworn to keep his kind long after dark.
edit Evidently Ambien and autocomplete get along really well. Re-reading the above, I have no idea how to edit it into something comprehensible. So as a lesson to myself I will leave it as it is.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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DoxBox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:45:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pikk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Weigh the barometer and then suspend both the barometer and the building from a thread and measure the deflection?
lololololol
swohio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the one guy used a plumb line and the other used a laser range finder in their solutions. You only have a barometer given to you, not any other tools.
-917- ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Place the barometer on the ground with a camera recording, looking in it's direction. When someone walks by, and picks it up, pop out of the bush you were hiding in and tell them that it is a very expensive barometer and you will report them to the authorities unless they give you the exact height.
8) Call the architectural or construction firm that built the building using the barometer to dial the number.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Gazzzah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Do an incredibly intense mathematical proof and simply declare that a solution exists and that the proof is way beyond the scope of the class, resulting that you should receive full credit.
7) make up a new measuring system and use the fluid in the barometer to erite down its exactly 1 flurpadurp tall
8) question wheter it even matters how tall the building is and while youare spirallingout of control questioning the very foundations of reallity, use the barometer to slid your wrists
1.) Take the barometer and perform a sexy webcam show until you get enough money to bribe your teacher for the answer to the problem
2.) Break the barometer, and raise your middle finger in the air. Then you stand far enough away from the building that your middle finger appears to be the same height as the building. Measure your middle finger and the distance you are from the building. Perform equation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Go to city hall and pose an inquiry about how tall it is.
7) At some known distance from the building, put a camera/eye close to the ground. Have barometer placed to appear as tall as the building from the view point. Measure distances of building and barometer to the view point.
8)Use barometer to measure off 57.7X meters from the building and use sextant or other tool to measure angle of build roof above horizon from ground level. Set X such that angle is much less than 30 degrees. Height of building=angleX.
7) Rappel down the side of the building with barometer in hand. Place the barometer from end to end all the way down the side of the building. As the barometer is a meter long, you can use this to measure the building.
The rules of this game were quite simple, and most of these solutions fail to follow the rules.
1) You don't have a stopwatch.
2) Not repeatable, so not scientifically valid.
3) You don't have a plumb line.
4) You don't have a device with which to measure the length of the barometer's shadow. You can, however, measure a different object using the barometer and then use that as a measuring device, so this one works, but only during specific times of day when the shadow can be measured quickly relative to how quickly it changes. There's also a question of whether or not you can actually measure 0.1m using this 1m barometer. If you can't, then the entire method goes out the window, but I think you can get a very good estimation in the worst case, so it should count.
5) You don't have a laser range finder
6) You don't have a large amount of black powder
loki130 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that the barometer is measuring pressure in mm of mercury, I'd assume it has the gradations necessary to function as a ruler.
koshki4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Find barometer, strap to your back. Measure building
man2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Use the barometer to compare barometric pressure at the base of the building with the barometric pressure at the top, then use the standard pressure gradient tables to find the height of the building. (same way a barometric altimeter in an airplane works).
7) Takeout the mercury from the barometer and place it in a a petri dish. Using black magic, cast a spell on the mercury filled petri dish and watch it transform and multiply into jet fuel. Use jet fuel to melt the building's steel beams. The building's height is now 0.
7) Take the barometer to the top of the building and take a reading. Take it to the ground and take another reading. Tell some fucker that knows math, science and shit you'll kick the ever-loving fuck out of him if he doesn't do math and shit to determine the height of the building.
8) Find the architect that designed the building. Smash the barometer and threaten to stick the broken glass in his eye if he doesn't tell you the height of the fucking building.
7)Drop barometer from edge of roof. Time how long it takes to reach the ground and integrate the acceleration due to gravity to acquire a position vs time graph.
8) fuck im out of ideas
byllz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Measure the length of the barometer in centimeters ... you now have a unit of measure of length "one barometer". Talk the window washer in to letting you hitch a ride, laying the barometer end to end, marking the number of barometer lengths the building is as you go down the side, starting from the top. Convert "number of barometer lengths" to centimeters.
(Seriously. How'd you guys forget that one?)
byllz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you miss the part about "exactly one meter long?". Also it is pretty much just a harder version of 3).
slow_one ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always make sure your tools are in good working order and calibrate your instruments before using them. ALWAYS shakes head and walks away
I was thinking tape measure. But you could just wait until the barometer's shadow is the same length as the barometer and then use the barometer to measure the building's shadow
So is it reasonable to assume that original question meant you get the stated equipment and also all other equipment? What would be the point of that? Understanding English means including context.
I hate those logic puzzles with a passion, because it tests more the fact that you've heard it before than your way of thinking about a problem. I have no problem with trolling the shit out of someone who asks a question like this.
Clearly the context was pointing at taking a barometer reading at street level and another on the roof and working some math on the pressure difference. I'm far enough removed from that particular science class that I'd have to look up some stuff, but I'd bet you'd at least need to know the temperature and possibly the altitude at street level. So there would be a need for other equipment anyway.
And the point of my response was to provide a solution that is "not technically wrong".
Gorstag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like that shadow one. So simple once described but completely unintuitive.
Seeing this pissed me off. We had this thing in grade school where we had to measure the height of a lamppost. A bunch of kids who taped meter sticks together got full credit, but I did the ratio of the shadow thing and got it right. I was so happy with myself, and then only got half marks for some stupid fucking reason.
You could also stand the barometer on end, find the position from which the barometer exactly obscures the height of the building, and infer the height of the building from similar triangles by measuring out the distance from that point to each the barometer and the building.
bolecut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An easier way to do number 4 would be to measure the angle below the horizontal that the top of the barometer makes with the top of the building. Using SOHCAHTOA you can then use like triangles to measure the height.
joshi38 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Measure the length of the shadow cast by the building
Depends on the time of day, if it's early or late enough that the shadow is longer than the building, you may as well just measure the building (depending on how easy that may be compared to measuring a shadow that may have other buildings and structures in the way).
AOEUD ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 00:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pressure = density of air*gravity*change in height
Pressure at the top of building - pressure at bottom of building = density of air*gravity*(height of building)
And you can measure those two pressures with the barometer.
Edit: incidentally, since we know the length of the barometer in OP's question (which I don't believe is fundamental to the legend), I like the pendulum answer best. Find its period and use that to determine local gravity on top and at the base of the building, and use Newton's law of universal gravitation to calculate the height.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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hfiggs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well AOEUD only gave one answer. The other answer would be that you could see how many lengths of the barometer the building is. Then you know the height, in meters.
Oh right because in a building where there's an air pressure change of anything more than negligible it's gonna be real easy to measure it with a meter stick.
With a normal barometer like you have on your wall? Absolutely. But, there's ways around it.
(Edited because I definitely mixed up where the altimeter input comes from.) Aircraft basically use a barometer that reads in feet for an altimeter, despite the fact that they're always generating some relative wind. They do this by measuring static pressure instead of total pressure. Essentially the barometer is in a case that is airtight except or one little hole oriented 90 degrees to the wind. So you don't measure any dynamic pressure at all, and can get a reliable altitude reading.
Using similar concepts you can get airspeed. Basically, you stick a barometer at the back of a tube that you make sure is pointed into the wind. The ram air down that tube is essentially stagnant (under normal circumstances), so you can read the total pressure. It's stable enough that you can get accurate readings, and even compare it to static pressure readings on the side of the tube (perpendicular to the wind) to get your dynamic pressure, which is related to airspeed. It's pretty nifty.
I think you got this mixed up. Dynamic pressure aka ram air is used to read airspeed via the pitot tube. The Altimeter reads static pressure changes via the static port. You can consider the altimeter the barometer measuring pressure changes with relatively undisturbed air collected from the side of the fuselage.
**Edit*
The Airspeed indicator which uses dynamic pressure also utilizes static pressure, just to keep airspeed accurate at different altitudes.
Pitot tubes (what you're describing) are used to measure "indicated" airspeed, and the pressure changes depending on how fast you're flying. IAS is useful to know since it's related to things like stall speed, even though it's not necessarily exactly how fast you're moving.
An altimeter is more like a plain old barometer that measures ambient pressure, and has a setting knob (well, on analog gauges anyway) that can adjust the displayed altitude to match weather conditions. It's hooked up to a "static port" - somewhere on the plane where pressure should match the ambient pressure while moving.
Source: bigger aerospace nerd than you are, neener neener.
Oh, I'm aware of the indicated vs actual difference, but was simplifying, and definitely mixed a few things up in the original.
I didn't mention the difference between IAS and TAS because, honestly,1/sqrt sigma prime for a normal windspeed and building height is pretty negligible. For example, on a standard day (according to the nearest chart I had on hand) if you assume you're measuring the empire state building (1250' tall, and starting at about 30' MSL) on a standard day that has a nice stiff 30kt wind. You would read about 29.4kt indicated. Of course there's gauge error, but I'm figuring you've got a calibrated instrument. I suppose you could get some significant error if you were only measuring the airspeed without correction and standing on a mountain in high winds, but I was thinking it wasn't worth getting into the weeds over for this guy Thanks for the refresher, though, I haven't done those calcs in a while.
And I agree the altimeter works very much like a plain old barometer with a QNH ajustment. I definitely got myself backwards there, though. The altimeter reading definitely comes from the static port, not the ram port, though I mentioned the static port as being on the side of the tube since that's where it is on a lot of modern aircraft. Thanks for the catch, friendo.
P.S. I'd be pretty impressed if your'e actually a bigger aerospace nerd than I, and if so we need to be friends.
I think you got this mixed up. Dynamic pressure aka ram air is used to read airspeed via the pitot tube. The Altimeter reads static pressure changes via the static port. You can consider the altimeter the barometer measuring pressure changes with relatively undisturbed air collected from the side of the fuselage.
I definitely mixed some stuff up, and I'm on my way to fix it. The altimeter does read static pressure using the static port (often times located on the side of the pitot tube in modern aircraft making it a prandtl tube). However, you've got a bit of a mix up there, as well. Dynamic pressure isn't measured directly in a pitot static system. The ram air gets total pressure, and since pt=pd+ps you can get dynamic pressure and thus calculate airspeed. Thanks for keeping me honest.
Data tables wouldn't necessarily work because air pressure changes with the weather (high pressure and low pressure fronts are what drive weather patterns around the world).
The top of the building is likely to have higher winds and frequent gusts. Some cheaper barometers will simply register higher speeds as lower pressure, so this is the least reliable method to use a barometer to measure the height of the building.
Because this derivation assumes a fixed value of g, the answer is actually in geopotential rather than geometric units of distance, so e.g. 1 geopotential metre = 9.80665 J/kg delta gravitational potential energy; at this stage, the interested reader is directed to the definition of the US standard atmosphere, 1976, which contains more comprehensive derivations, specifically covering geopotential altitude in section 1.2.3.
This model assumes a spherical earth, and 45ยบ latitude, so more fun is to be had converting to something better.
Both of the above considerations are important if the measurement is required to be accurate to better than a few metres, as is humidity; I think the trigonometric answers proposed are likely to be more accurate.
I'm dumb. I would've used the length of the shadow cast by the upright barometer and trigonometry then scale that up to the size of the shadow cast by the building.
Kempeth ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 23:18:28 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Board on of those window washer cranes and count how many times you can put the barometer end on end on your way down.
Find the custodian and say: "Hey I have this really sturdy barometer. I'll hit you over the head with it if you don't tell me how tall this building is."
spen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:53:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he doesn't tell you, when you are arrested and put on trial for assault (and battery), have to height of the building read into the record at court.
3) Not enough information, is the building at ground level or below?
4) Use a ladder, 1 liter of black glue and a pencil. First paint one meter on wall, then measure how many times the width of the barometer is, divide and now you have width of barometer. Use ladder, climb building while counting barometer widths, until you know entire height.
Works better with "I bet you this barometer I can guess the height of your building" , guess anything and note down the true value when giving him the barometer.
mberre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have gone with:
"Use the barometer to measure the building's shadow, in meters, then measure the barometer's shadow, then solve for X"
walk away from the building and use the barometer to count how many meters you walked
when the after walking a meter and placing the barometer upright and looking at it from ground level a meter away (just pivot it to mark the spot) and the top of the building is at the top of the barometer stop walking. (45 degree angle)
You know have a right angle triangle where two sides are equal. The amount walked +1 and the height of the building.
This is the earth acceleration (gravitation). I round to 10 (m/s2)
and i had a computation error above
rydan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me when we had a similar question in Astronomy involving a laser, a plumb bob, and a protractor. We needed to find out how far away a far away road was on the horizon. My suggestion was to shoot the eyes of a driver with the laser and count the number of seconds between seeing the crash and hearing it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a really good example of stupid questions given to kids. Why would anyone ever use a BAROMETER to measure the height of a building? You could do it much easier with measuring tape and some trigonometry.
Barometer's measure air pressure. Why would anyone use one to measure something? Seems a very oddly specific piece of equipment.
In any case, depending on how high the building is, dropping it off the edge might well give you a good estimate if you can time it properly. Air resistance will mean you won't get the 100% right answer though.
sin94 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is a brilliant and scary answer, either the student going to be a genius scientist or the president of the united states
LvnSuede ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 01:28:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Erika was supposed to write an essay about the Transcontinental Railroad, but instead wrote the whole thing about the Transcendental Railroad.
Smgth ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's not a band name from the 1960's Hippies should be ashamed of themselves.
Ssgogo1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:58:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the transcendental railroad?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my students to draw a picture of a ninja chicken on an exam. One student drew nothing, and pointed out that the chicken was such an effective ninja that he was invisible.
I know a lot of teachers who like to give a few easy questions so students can at least get a few pity points. Normally, they ask about trivially easy parts of the course material, but I had one that asked arbitrary questions like "If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?" or "If you had a super power, which one would you prefer?" Other times, he'd ask trivia questions like "What is the flight speed of an unladen swallow" to see if people got the reference, and give you points no matter what you wrote.
I could see those being actual questions though. Like, "if you were to have a super power, which would it be? Explain why you chose that power over other potentially more useful powers."
That would make sense for a creative writing course, but this was extra credit on a quiz for a Computer Science course. Also, I could get full credit on that question as long as I wrote something down at all.
I was imagining more a Rational Thinking course than a creative writing course but I guess that works too. Definitely not a computer science thing though, agreed. Unless you took The Ability to Compile Code Without Any Errors...
tigkid ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 04:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind that's in a class taught by a 20 something teacher that thinks they're cool
There was some club at my high school like Key Club or something that you actually had to apply for. I sat next to a girl in German class who was applying to the club. A bunch of the questions were actually related to club activities, but one of them was obviously related to some stupid inside-joke the club members had...
"You discover one day that there is a she-wolf in your closet. Draw a picture of the beast and write what you would do to vanquish the she-wolf." (this was shortly after the Shakira song became popular)
The girl didn't know how to draw a "she-wolf" so she asked me what I would draw. I had the teacher who led the club as a math teacher, and the storage closet in her room had a sign taped on the frame that said "there's a she-wolf in the closet."
I remember thinking it was really stupid to include an inside joke that nobody would understand as part of the application...
[deleted] ยท 888 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my teacher said my answer was really funny and gave me partial credit. Question was "How long does it take for Mars to revolve around the sun?"
Twice as long as it takes for it to make it halfway around the sun was the right answer.
MWisBest ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:26:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that actually technically correct though? Planets don't have perfect orbits, and Mars' is especially eccentric.
paralog ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:02:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on how you're defining "halfway." Say it takes me 60 minutes to drive to work 40 miles away. It takes me 30 minutes to navigate 10 miles of local roads, then it takes me 30 minutes on the highway to drive the remaining 30 miles.
My boss tells me to call when I'm halfway there. Should I do that after 30 minutes when I've only gone 10 miles? Or after 20 miles, when I'm only 20 minutes away?
Could argue that if 2*half doesn't equal whole, half and whole aren't measuring the same thing.
The answer to my hypothetical is that I quit, because I hypothetically happen to work in the state of New Jersey, and it is illegal to talk on my phone while driving. Further, since I work on the side of a highway, my boss has implicitly instructed me to put the safety of my coworkers in danger by driving distracted. If my boss's request was documented in an email, voicemail, or note, he's going down.
Hypothetically, it is not illegal to talk on the phone while driving in New Jersey. You can call 911 while holding your phone, or you can use a hands free device to speak over the phone to any other number.
Technically most planets dont just orbit the sun, but also a barycenter in common with their moon(s). For that matter, they don't even really orbit the sun, but the solar system's barycenter... which can be external to the sun.
I mean if we're being technical this becomes a lot more complicated. Gravity goes both ways, so the sun and the planets are actually orbiting each other, proportional to their masses. In our star system that's pretty irrelevant, but in others places you can have stars that move dramatically, and some that even orbit other stars. Each object revolves around a common focal point depending on their masses/distance etc. For us that point is a negligible amount away from the center of mass of the sun, but for Jupiter-like planets very close to their stars you can actually measure the "wobble" of the star.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:41 on May 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's more, gravity waves travel at the speed of light, so the barycentre is actually a point where the centre of mass was, relative to the distance between the object and the barycentre, rather than where it is.
jaybill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There it is. So "revolve" and "orbit" are synonymous. I had it backwards.
When I was in high school my art teacher teaching her first semester started an abstract art assignment but did not supply any sort of grading rubric when I asked. I scribbled randomly on the page and when she asked about it I simply said it's too abstract to be easily explained. I got 100%. I also got away with adding a few dots to the background of a drawing of a falcon in a bowl of punch and saying he's in space when she told me that I was missing a background. We got away with lots in that class. Apparently she was super strict every year after that haha.
I did that same. I love art but I got frustrated with one project, and after redoing it twice, I just threw some paint on it and outlined some shapes in sharpie. She said she was "almost moved to tears" at my piece. I was like "Bitch what?"
Either she fooled you into putting your emotions (frustration in this case) onto canvas (or paper or what have you) OR she trolled you. Either way, she won. Maybe you should paint more? Then, when you realize it feels good, you too can win.
I am a painter, as I stated I enjoy art. I just did not like that project she stuck us with. She was a rather interesting teacher, used to bring her pet rats to school sometimes. Never a dull moment.
Edit: Grammar fix
That kind of thinking is part of why I hated art class. How am I supposed to put "I am bad at this, I am bored out of my skull, and this has no relevance to my life" into a pencil drawing of an apple?
(I feel like a lot of art teachers would be nicer people if they were sent to teach college, where people choose to take art, rather than high school where we're there because the government says so.)
Senior year, I took Advanced Chemistry because I had enjoyed Honors Chemistry during Sophomore Year and I liked the teacher.
The final exam had an absolutely brutal final question, but he phrased the request for an answer as "Can you tell me..." instead of "What is..."
I had no fucking clue how to even go about trying to solve for the answer, so I wrote "In all honesty, no, I cannot" and I underlined "Can you tell me" in the question.
The teacher gave me full credit for the answer, which gave me a final grade in that class that qualified me for the Cum Laude Society.
Under my answer, he wrote "They are going to love you in business school. Nice one, smart ass."
Preschool teacher here. For Father's day we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was "what does dad like to do?". Most answer were average but one little girl told me her dad "loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day"
My son wrote "sleep" as my favorite activity for a giant poster he had to make about me. That poster spent several months on the wall in the kindergarten hallway.
In second grade, we had to write a similar journal about our families. For "What does your family like to do together?" I wrote "We like eating cheeseburgers and watching TV."
Back win like middle school, my little sister put up one of the idiotic "tag the ______" onto her faceboook and tagged our mother as being the "most likely to know a guy". She had no idea what it meant (it was with a pot leaf, real hard to think something else). Coincidently, that person would be our father.
I was teaching a 4th grade lesson about different types of text structure. I asked students what in the text specifically told them it was a specific structure (I was hoping for them to pick out specific text evidence) . One student looked me dead in the eyes and said, "the words ." I mean it was a true answer just not what I was looking for.
kithien ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I overheard one student tutoring another (not for my class, for the religion class) "Mary Magdalene washing with feet was like swiping right on tinder back in the day."
d96083 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:07:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't correct though. It was a symbol of submission and servitude in that culture because exposing the bottom of your foot to someone was a sign of disrespect. That would imply that Jesus intended to commit sexual acts with his apostles because he washed their feet
Not a teacher yet, but there was one that stuck with me in a psych class I took. My psych professor had asked the class if they knew what the most used word in California is. One student answered: "hella?"
marklein ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 03:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-student here. High school biology. We were talking about the generic trait of having six fingers per hand and how it is a dominant gene. The teacher asked "since it's dominant, why don't more people have six fingers?" Long pause. I'm thinking that the answer is obvious, but the pause goes on and on. I'm wondering if the teacher is just going to stand there until the end of time if nobody answers so I just spit out "cuz they don't get laid".
That was in the good old days when teachers could threaten you with physical violence.
I work in a 7th grade math classroom and I can't tell you how many times a student has told me "that one is bigger" or "that one is negative" when I've asked what the difference was.
I never understood why maths teachers have to use all these stupid words... difference, sum, quotient, and, um, product? Why can't they just say what they mean? What's 4626 minus 3163? Is that so difficult?
I was doing my student teaching, and there was a boy that got his recess taken away and I was the one supposed to be punishing him.
His problem was that he talked and talked and talked.
So I ask him "what could we do to help you focus better?"
He thinks for a solid minute and replies "ice cream" couldn't help but laugh.
If his problem is too much talking, it seems taking away his recess would be anti-productive. It's the one place where he can talk freely and expel that energy.
This reminds me of a story I read in a handbook for teaching learning disabled children.
It talked about a child who was struggling with learning basic numbers. The teachers asked the child how the child thought he'd be able to actually learn this concept, and the child suggested using different flavored jelly beans, that he'd get to eat during the course of the lesson. The teachers said ok, assigned each flavor a number, let the kid eat 'em as they went over the lesson again, and apparently, this worked, as the different flavors allowed the kid to make the connections he needed.
Granted, that story was about "learning types" (which seems to be a theory recently losing credit from researchers?) and I'm loathe to come up with a plausible reason that delivering ice cream would actually enable a kid to shut up and listen, but sometimes asking a kid what it would take can actually help.
That's awesome. No this kid was just a complete chatter box (and apparent smart ass). We would switch his seat every 5 minutes, even put him independently, and some how he'd strike up a conversation. He was only in kindergarten at the time, so it's hard. It was just hilarious, because when he was thinking, he made it seem like he was coming up with something great.
Aarol ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:07:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for the kid, separating him from the rest of the class is only going to crush his creativity and make him have a dislike and distrust of school.
jepoy13 ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 02:05:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in middle school our teacher asked us to name types of metals. One of the kids said adamantium and the teacher accepted it as a type of metal. This was before the X-men movies came out.
Edit: My friends and I still laugh about it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a made up a scavenger hunt for my jazz band, and one of the riddles was "What has legs, but cannot stand?". Well the answer was the football stands, that's where the next clue was.
This kid says "Mason!!" The kid in band who is in a wheelchair ..
kinwai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a pre k teacher, My son told a little boy in his kindergarten class that his bandaid was a bitch sticker. To this day I have no idea where or whom he heard that from but I laughed so hard I cried. To this day I carry around special sparkly cupcake Band-Aids for adults and call them bitch stickers.
I pissed my dad off, but he was too impressed and found it too humorous to be that mad one day by, when he asked if I could grab him a band-aid for his bleeding head, "what, you need a bitch sticker?" Ahh, to be 13 again...
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 03:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "What do you think the biggest problem with the world is?
I didn't get a blood test when I got my marriage certificate. I got gay married--that reinforced my belief, cuz it's hard to create babies when you're gay married. Thanks for the intel!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a eugenicist project to make sure that people had appropriate blood to breed prefect babies. People who were diseased or disabled were ruled unfit to wed, as were close relatives. Syphilis was only one component. Dig into our eugenics history and it gets uncovered.
"At least 6 million" was the answer I gave in class once. Jewish classmate thought it was hilarious, teacher gave me a talk on racial sensitivity.
[deleted] ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 04:06:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kadasix ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is 10000 > 7?
Yes. So the casualties number at least 7.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point they're making is that "at least 7" sets up a set in which 7 is a possible answer. Your argument would be correct if the story had said "more than seven," but it did not.
Not a teacher, but I remember I had to take some kind of verbal test when I about five. The proctor asked what is the relationship between cats and dogs? Little science loving five year old me said, "they are part of the same food chain." I am pretty sure I got credit for that question.
I mean, they are part of the food web but I think most cats and dogs are not part of the same food chain. Perhaps a few specific breeds like lions eat some dogs like hyenas, or vice versa, but in general I would say this is wrong.
My older brother was the student.
When he had Mr Smith, one of the most friendly teachers I've ever known and whom you could mess about with, for Geography the first time in Secondary school. Mr Smith handed out the exercise books by throwing them to the students from the front of the classroom. (He was careful not to hit anyone)
When my brother got thrown his, he promptly threw it back at the teacher.
"Trishata96's brother why did you throw this back at me?"
"You're not meant to throw books. Sir. You're meant to treat them with respect."
From then on whenever he had my brother, he'd have it passed down instead of thrown.
When he had me for Geogrpahy 5 years later, he made a point to hand me my book instead of throwing it to me as I was at the back of the class, same as my bro was (our surnames mean we're pretty much at the bottom of every a-z list)
[deleted] ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 00:17:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(our surnames mean we're pretty much at the bottom of every a-z list)
I know that feeling, but also in reverse, my first name puts me at the top but my last one at the bottom, I've been always either the first or last person depending on the list.
Flipz100 ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 01:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Zywyx?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like how several different languages use the Latin alphabet, yet they all approach the consonant vowel divide in radically different ways. Like, you've got Bosnian and Polish on one extreme - "Lol, what's a vowel?" - and Hawaiian on the other extreme - "Lol, what's a consonant?" And then you've got Hebrew, which literally has no vowels, although they use their own alphabet so I'm not sure how much that counts for.
You should be a middle child of three instead! First to last. Youngest to oldest. Oldest to youngest. Doesn't matter, always second. I like second. You kind of hide a bit. You know you won't get the best piece of cake, but the second best is better than whatever the third kid is getting.
This reminds me of a very eccentric History teacher I had. He had a saying whenever someone threw a book: "Ooh, no, we don't do that, boy/girl. A society that throws books eventually throws people. You must remember that."
It was years before we learnt about the rise of Hitler and what he was actually referencing.
My dads teacher used to throw his wood backed board rubber at sleeping students so a kid who was 1st team cricket pretended to be asleep, caught the rubber and threw it straight back at the teacher and hit him square between the eyes
I teach 7th grade math. Our first unit is on integers. There is a question on the test that says the temperature on Monday was -3 degrees and on Tuesday it was 4 degrees. What is the difference in temperatures? Every year, at least a couple of kids answer that one is negative and the other is positive.
J1NxxY ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:08:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no offense but I don't remember 7th graders not knowing that the difference between 4 and -3 is 7
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:34:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you overestimate middle schoolers in large numbers. there's always at least ONE kid that'll answer that way, either to be facetious or because they don't understand entirely what the question is asking for
I went to high school with somebody who could not subtract negative numbers. That was during her senior year when she was in pre-cal and trig.
tutori ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When was the last time you were around 7th graders doing math? I have Algebra 2 students pull out their calculators for that. My Calculus students don't have problems with that, but they sure do with fractions.
I got a lot of student responses with the math definition of foil (first, outside, inside, last)...but then there was one kid who decided to write down aluminum. I lost it at that response.
Students had a simple reading comprehension quiz. They had to read the legend of Narcissus (a god who died because he couldn't look away from his own beautiful reflection, hence the term narcissist). One of the questions was "how did Narcissus die?." Easy. The student wrote (paraphrased - this was 8 years ago) "Narcissus - who could not look away from his own reflection - died of his own closeted homosexuality since he fell in love with himself, and he was a man."
I also had a friend in a religious studies university course answer the question "Who was Veronica?" with "Archie's girlfriend, and Betty's rival." (the prof meant one of the bearers of the cross with Jesus). She got the point since he didn't specify which Veronica.
o11c ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:40:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
religious studies
Veronica
Where the fuck do all these nonoriginal details come from?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! I've never heard of this before. And my uncle is a pastor.
[deleted] ยท 3104 points ยท Posted at 00:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well what I can I expect from a teacher who uses abstinence as an answer.
Sigh. Abstinence is an answer. Abstinence should be covered and presented as a valid choice in every comprehensive sex ed class in middle/high school. The problem is when the curriculum only covers abstinence. We need to present kids with all the facts and options for preventing pregnancy and STIs. Abstinence is the most effective way not to get pregnant/infected, but there are also other ways that are almost as good. That's how it needs to be approached.
It really should not be taught this way. Abstinence is not an answer any more than not playing football is the right way to avoid injuries for somebody who's already playing football. The answer implies preconditions contrary to reality.
What should be taught is that they can say no and not do this. Once they've decided to do it abstinence is not an answer to shit though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am fairly certain it's not the teachers' choice that this gets taught this way. Generally they have a mandated curriculum to teach and gave to stick to the accepted things. You can get in trouble in abstinence only states for teaching anything other than abstinence.
There is an episode of Parks and Rec that touches on the issue pretty nicely.
We're talking about 11-, 12-, and 13-year-olds here! Unfortunately yes, some of them are sexually active. But the majority aren't. And we need to be encouraging them to wait! Wait until they are mature enough to deal with the potential consequences. All sex ed classes need to preach abstinence, but also go beyond that to discuss safer sex practices. It's called "comprehensive" because it needs to cover it all!
And then there's also the problem of standardization - someone's school career could possibly be worthless upon transferring due to differences in curriculum. They could be way ahead of everybody else there or way behind. But I guess that's already sort of the idea of Common Core.
To be fair to the teacher, the sex education curriculum is usually handled at the state, community, or school level. The teacher doesn't really have control over what they're allowed to teach.
Abstinence was a fine answer since the question was related to, but not specifically about, sex... and castration works fine too, but apparently that teacher lacked a sense of humor.
yours is specifically about jumping from a plane and the best method with which to do it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marlan_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your question is a bit closer to what the teacher asked.
Which is the problem. The question says you jump out. So you must jump out. You can't say not jumping out is an answer when the question says you jumped out.
I didn't take this to mean that /u/marlan_ was against using the term abstinence on the merits of the term itself, merely that in this context, it was a poor answer because the concept that abstinence is the only way to have safe sex is a short-sighted way to educate kids about sex.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. OP please please don't use the word retarded when meaning dumb, stupid, fucked up, etc. Even when you don't mean it that way, the implication is that people with intellectual disabilities are dumb, stupid, etc. Which just isn't true. It's dehumanizing.
For the record, totally agree that abstinence is a dumb argument in this situation! Abstinence only sex ed is a terrible thing to teach teenagers.
OP please please don't use the word retarded when meaning dumb, stupid, fucked up, etc. Even when you don't mean it that way, the implication is that people with intellectual disabilities are dumb, stupid, etc. Which just isn't true. It's dehumanizing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I actually have a sister who has Down syndrome and when she hears the word retarded she gets really upset because she knows it is a mean word for someone like her. Many of her friends feel the same way. Just trying to protect her and others like her.
krashlia ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:45:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I think its a bad argument and comparison. The original question didn't ask about the safest sex act, but the safest birth-control. You wanna know what really controls births, assuming we're looking at a situation in which consent and rights are respected? Castration.
Ok, actually a number of things, but abstinence is one of them.
fizikz3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... in the same sense suicide is also an answer...
gunsof ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I see people talk about how people in Africa need better sex education to combat HIV, particularly about safe sex, but what chance do they have if the American education system with all its money and availability is just as ridiculous.
I'm actually getting really mad at your teacher. I can't help but think if that happened to my son I'd accuse the teacher of having "safe sex" with their students because that's abstinence.
Mariske ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had a teacher who followed that in a very /r/maliciouscompliance sort of way. She would tell about how they weren't always good against stds but then talk about the failures against pregnancy in real percentages like .09 percent of the time it doesn't work, I liked her.
But they have something like a 99.1% success rate, when used properly. Maybe we should teach people how to use them, instead of using twisted statistics.
Doesn't change the fact that teens aren't mindless horny sex drones. They deserve to be taught properly and given every resource available to adults when it come to safe sex.
I went to public school in South Carolina and they never informed us about contraception. Granted, we knew all about that, being 14 and 15 year olds, but it wasn't mentioned once in 5 years of sex ed
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I went to public school. They told us condoms don't prevent pregnancy, (because the sperm will just swim through the microscopic pores in the condom,) and increase STD transmission rates, (because it acts like a little greenhouse for bacteria and viruses to grow.)
The result is that everybody still had sex anyways, (because teenagers,) but didn't use condoms, (because bad sex ed class.) We had multiple girls get pregnant, starting all the way in freshman year, and had a few more start ballooning each year.
This is really shitty. Specifically the part where only half the country requires sex ed at all and only 20 states require it to be medically, factually, or technically accurate.
My brother went to a private school and someone they brought in for a sex ed class told the middle schoolers that they'd get pregnant by holding hands, hugging, or pretty much any physical contact.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a shitty generalization. I went to a private Catholic school in Louisiana and was never told about contraceptives.
Just because it doesn't match what you experienced doesn't mean it's a shitty generalization. It could mean that it's a generalization about a shitty situation.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:45:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a Public high school in the Midwest. Learned a shit ton about STDs, but nothing about contraception. They really shoved that whole abstinence thing
More like welcome to one county in one state of a huge ass country. I grew up in the south and learned contraceptives. Our education system isn't national, why don't people get this?
I honestly hate when people say this like teaching abstinence in the US is a universally accepted fact... but it's bullshit.
I don't where/when you went to school but i went to middle school (07-09) in SC and we were taught about safe sex.
Please stop making it sound like abstinence is still a die-hard american dogma, it's not... people like you are only perpetuating the bad name that we're trying to get rid of.
gynlimn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from HS in SC in 2004 from Florence, SC, and we learned about safe sex, how to balance a check book, and calories in vs calories out in one nine week class.
No wonder none of it stuck, but I was still taught it.
I'm referring to the US, which both the original poster and I are from. Most other countries have it figured out, but the good old US still struggles with teaching procreation.
Seriously what the fuck is going on that they can't improve things? Is it because the government's acting like a teeter-totter with the "left wing/right wing" bullshit?
No, that's basically it. It's pretty much devolved into a political party tug of war. One side does something, majority flips, other side undoes it and does something else, majority flips, the first side undoes it... repeat for the foreseeable future.
This is at the federal level though. On the local level things are much more uniform but you have both sides at different places.
the good old US still struggles with teaching procreation.
That's bullshit.
I don't where/when you went to school but i went to middle school (07-09) in SC and we were taught about safe sex.
Please stop making it sound like abstinence is still a die-hard american dogma, it's not... people like you are only perpetuating the bad name that we're trying to get rid of.
Not a professional in anything related to this field.
School districts are decided at local/state levels. I believe sex Ed is included in this. So of course it's not the entire United States, but most of the country is hard core Christian, which makes it hard to add proper sex ed.
On top of that, we seem to have a phobia of sex and nudity. Just look at our media rating laws compared to Europes. Adding a female nipple is way harsher for US games/movies/etc. than in, say, Germany.
Honestly, we deserve the shitty name until it's gone on a national level.
Yeah, it really isn't... this isn't the 1980's anymore and yet people still insist on perpetuating the idea that it is.
I've also noticed that based on the replies I've been getting, that for the most part, it's the liberal states that are still teaching abstinence only.
zane-c ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texas doesn't. I remember in 8th grade, not only did they barely cover condoms, when they did all they said that condoms were unreliable and would very often fail, before launching into another lecture about abstinence.
Another fun part was the subtle implication that if you're gay and you have sex, you're essentially guaranteed an STD.
Your education is not necessarily representative. Also, those of us outside the US are aware enough to assume that sex-ed in say... New York.. is less likely to be abstinence-focused than in.. I dunno. Alabama. Or South Carolina. Where it is more likely.
The fact is, what perpetuates the bad name as far as sex ed goes, is not just that you have a not-insignificant number of schools that teach abstinence-only 'sex-ed', but that schools are allowed to teach abstinence-only 'sex-ed'. It's like teaching creationism. We know it's not every school, but the 10% or what the fuck ever it is even being allowed to is what makes it a joke.
Just because your town teaches it correctly doesn't mean the rest of your country does. I was in middle school in the early 2000's in New Hampshire and it was abstinence* focused. (Spoiler alert, we had like 15 teen pregnancies in my grade alone.) Clearly a big problem in most areas, so don't assume that your anecdotal evidence can speak to the rest of us.
You may not be wrong. Or maybe your parents picked a specific kind of town each time. It's odd that you would take sex ed 4 different times, though, so I doubt you know first hand about more than 1 or 2 of the 4.
I moved middle schools 4 times and had to redo 7th grade (military family) so yeah, i took sex ed in four different states (6th grade, 7th x2, 8th) granted the topics varied (reproductive health, std, diseases, etc etc) but the fact remains sex ed was covered 4 times in 4 different states for me.
Depends on what region of the country you live, the south and the flyover states are like this, but when I was in 5th grade (10-11 years old) in Oregon we started sex-ed and it was legit. By the time I hit middle school they were teaching all of us about condoms, where babies come from, and STDs, and the girls got to learn about the pill. When I moved to New Jersey during one quarter of the year our gym class was half gym days half sex-ed days with a test at the end, and that one went into what a zygote was, how to raise children, the cost of raising children, ect. And then when I moved to Florida for 4 months during the school year we went to an abstinence only class that pretty much was just lacking a class prayer at the beginning for how overtly religious it was, and there was a total of 4 classes during the year. Needless to say that the town had a high teen pregnancy rate and a lot of people were spreading STDs.
blay12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really depends on where you are. I grew up in northern Virginia, and my (public school) sex ed was pretty comprehensive - by middle school we were covering reproductive systems, anatomy, and puberty induced changes involving them (which makes sense, considering you're going through those changes in middle school), birth control/safe sex, raising kids, financial planning for a family, etc. Abstinence was talked about as well, but it was included in the conversation about birth control and safe sex - we basically went through each of the major forms of birth control (pulling out, male/female condoms, the pill, IUDs, etc) and their respective efficacies with abstinence being the only one that was a true 0% chance, but that was with the caveat that it is still possible for a girl to get pregnant if sperm gets near her reproductive organs, so you still have to be careful with that sort of thing even if you're not having sex.
It was surprising to talk to people when I got to college that were taken through "abstinence only" programs and were pretty much clueless when it came to birth control or anything else.
My school was like this, with the added implication that the reason for this is because when you have sex with someone, you're also having sex with all their previous partners by proxy.
I, personally, don't remember any sex ed in high school. And since I went to a Catholic middle school, the best I ever really got was a three day long, all day class where they taught us how to raise children and that masturbation is a sin.
We were taught all the usual options, but they did make sure to point out that every form of birth control has a measurable failure rate (which IMO is something people should be told in sex ed, just so they know the possibility is always there even if they do everything correctly).
U.S Sex Ed is still in the realm of "It's spooky bad juju, never do it EVER or you'll get disease X, Y, Z, A113, and your life will BE RUINED PERMENANTLY!!!!!!!11111"
Because apparently telling hormone-driven teenagers to not do the one thing their bodies are going crazy for will work wonders!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in recent years. Abstinence sex ed wasn't always a thing taught. Sex ed in my time was, use a condom, stds and you will die from aids. Scare tactics.
The 70s probably taught use safe sex as well because syphilis.
Canada. I'm not sure if the curriculum here is really a huge step up, but in my experience the teachers have done their nest to modify it so its a little more modern.
TedW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People often make it seem worse than it actually is. Or maybe my part of the country is less fucked than other parts.
I was told we shouldn't have sex before marriage because studies suggest that it feels better to have sex during marriage than it does to have sex while dating.
What do you mean must have? It's still like this in a lot of places in the usa. It doesn't matter how many studies or statistics you show proving that students who hear abstinence-only have a higher rate for STDs and teen pregnancy Bible Belt people still refuse to believe it because Jesus.
EricKei ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse than that. A US politician (Todd Akin) believes this, too, and has said so publicly. In what I'm sure is an unrelated matter, he lost his bid for re-election not long after that.
Not the person the commented to but just remember that the people who taught you aren't synonymous with whatever religion you were brought up with. Whether that means you leave or stay just don't let those few people ruin your view of the whole group
I like the metaphor with the moldy bread. If you happen to eat a piece of moldy bread, you probably won't stop eating bread for the rest of your life. (But you will probably learn to check for mold.)
The same way, if someone treats you badly, don't assume that everything they believe in are as bad as they are. Think "he's moldy", not "he's bread and all bread is moldy".
This can be applied to so much more than religion.
o11c ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of religious people are not assholes. It is worth familiarizing yourself with them, even if you don't see yourself joining any religion again.
I mean, it's not 100% wrong, per se. There are two ways to look at it, both horribly flawed, I'm not defending these thought processes, that could honestly lead a person to believe this.
The first is wrongly assuming a rape victim won't become aroused unless they really want it, and also assuming sex can't happen if they aren't aroused to lube things up. The second is stress can and does lead to early miscarriages, rape victims have a higher chance to fail to conceive or lose the baby early because of this.
If you only partially understand how these things work, or are told by someone else who doesn't, it isn't a stretch to see how people could believe it.
o11c ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the even darker side of that is: because so much of early human reproduction was done via rape, genes that allow a child to be born anyway in those circumstance were positively-selected.
On the plus side, you don't have to live in Kansas anymore.
coinaday ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat similar: on one of the slides they said that 75% of HIV infections were a result of sex. So, being a smartass, I of course asked rhetorically whether this meant that abstinence was only 75% effective. The teacher was not happy.
sinequod ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Now, can anyone tell me what the only foolproof method of birth control is?" (answer is supposed to be abstinence, because american education)
As a heathen Canadian liberal we had that exact line in our health-class just before the condoms were handed out because it's true: even if you take all precautions it's not 100% safe to have sex, and telling kids they should get tested and shit because of it is a good idea.
Abstinence is safest, but since you're going to fuck here's some condoms and info on how to get your bits checked out by a doctor.
AP246 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's a stupid answer with a clear agenda.
What's the best way to minimise risk of driving accidents? Staying on the speed limit? Indicating clearly? Nope, never driving.
See, the question itself is flawed and gives no useful information.
Good analogy in a way - because even if you never drive a car, you could be in an accident as a passenger. If you never get in a car, you could still be run over while crossing the road, hit by a car that mounted the pavement, etc.
So even if you completely opt out of cars/sex, there's still a risk of "consequences" (accident or pregnancy) through someone else's actions.
sinequod ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also instruct drivers on how to mitigate the risks in driving and some programs even do first aid or other damage control instruction so that drivers can be ready if any of the danger presents itself.
It also doesn't hurt that the fact is serious car accidents are less common than STIs and other sexual health issues, and therefore it's worth spending even more time overall on the risks and handling them responsibly.
And of course: not having sex is an option for basically everybody. Not driving? Less so. Many people live in areas where not driving is impractical, and the way to get into a driverless lifestyle involves moving somewhere else.
Not having sex entails just not having sex. It's far more of an option than is not driving.
My freshman year health teacher made this point. Except, since I'm in America, it sounded like
"I am required to teach you that the only form of safe sex is to not have sex. Which means I am not allowed to tell you that if you were to have sex...." and then gave us an ACTUAL sex Ed lesson. All while saying "They say I am not allowed to tell you that -"
I'm not going to get into another argument this week about the prevalence of rape. But uh, a lot of people get raped and sexually abused. Any stats on it are without a doubt lower than they are because people don't report it. So just fuck off.
The most accurate study done by the DOJ says that it's around 1/40. That's still too high, and is something we can work towards further reducing, but lying about the stats isn't going to help.
1 in 100000000 would still make it a non-guaranteed solution to anything.
n122333 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school was taught abstinence only, and the (out spokenly Baptist - her husband was a preacher who came in and gave every student a bible) teacher did the whole "only 100% effective birth control" speech, and the stoner kid in the back of the room said
"I mean, it's close but I think you rounded. Other wise that book you gave us lied."
I've already decided I'm going to be that parent. While I don't think I'd want my kids having sex under like 16 I'm not going to push this stupid abstinence idea on them. But I've decided when this religious shit comes up in school I am going to be that terrible parent that raises so much hell. I figure if I keep my kids in public school I'll easily be able to fund a shit ton of lawsuits against the county over dumb shit like this. Because I don't want my kids to be losers I'll also constantly throw extravagant parties and fund tons of local activists so all the other kids love my kids.
If there is one thing I plan to bring with me into parenthood it's my petty vindictive inner 14 year old. I've been holding on for 11 years so hopefully I can last until I have kids lol.
Haha I got sent in the hall after playing a game about what kind of sex is totally safe, one of the answers was "having sex with a condom", which obviously they want to portray as not 100% safe, but I said well I mean if you're just having sex with a condom, nobody else, you're totally in the clear! It's just sterile latex!
Just today, we were staring this unit, and one of my gym teachers said that exact phrase. I said, "What about in vitro fertilisation?" I mean, it's not sex, so... not having sex isn't 100% foolproof.
When we were taught sex Ed, even though we were a Catholic school, it went a bit like this:
Teacher: Alright ladies, today we'll be covering methods to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The church wants me to tell you that abstinence is the only way. The school board, however, disagrees, so we'll be talking about how to properly apply a condom and your options when is comes to birth control.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher ask our class the same question.. age 16 or so. I put my hand up and said "abstinence". He raised an eyebrow and laughed sarcastically. "No, serious answers only please." His answer was "Trick question, there are no foolproof methods of contraception."
Also one of the kids in my class then asked "what does abstinence mean?"
_Eerie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:38:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were absolutely correct, good job dude! Did you get in trouble?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*1 in 4. According to posters they had at my university during a campaign to raise awareness for sexual assault. You had the right idea with that answer though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought sexual assault =! rape. So you can be sexually assaulted with a 0% chance of pregnancy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before they said 1/5 and it was a lie, with extremely flawed method including all drunk sex being classified as rape, regardless of if the offender was drunk. In fact it accounted for over half, of the reported sexual assualts in the survey.
I don't think rape sexual assault rates have risen. The 1/4 is nonsense as 1/5.
Even his 1/10 which is more accurate is too high.
These people do surveys which are unreliable, and phrase questions in a way as to get the highest possible number. The stats are more about getting higher numbers then accurate results.
I would say you, these surveys are more useful to learn about how to make propagandic surveys, then their actual results.
That statistic is how many women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, which includes rape, but also includes stuff like unwanted groping and rubbing and whatnot.
Sheeeeiiiit, I don't want to diminish anybody's negative experiences but I'm a average looking overweight man and even I've been unwantedly groped several times. It's just something that happens with drunk women. I imagine it's scarier when it's a man who can overpower you but I also think it's probably not traumatizing most of the time like rape is.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:22:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't true, there were so many problems with the study that found this number it is completely inaccurate. It is best to go by crime stats and if you want extropolate given what percent report said crimes (which by definition is really hard to find). That number is so low though it doesn't sound as bad.
Actually over half of the reported assualts in said survey included being drunk as the reason. Let's be clear I don't mean black out drunk, I mean drunk period. This right away halfs the stat. So 1/10 would be more accurate, but still too high.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered getting a referral because the health ed teacher told the class that the best way to prevent STD's is to not have sex. As loud as I could, I shouted, "WHAT!? NO SEX!?" Immediate trip to the principle's office.
Same question was asked to my grade 8 students by the sex-ed facilitator, except they put the letter 'a' to help... boy with autism raises his hand and yells out "ANAL". Omg. Almost died laughing and had to really hold it together. Nope, kid. We were looking for a different 'a' word ๐!
mowbuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure its like 1 in 3 girls are raped in their lifetime.
Edit.
So i read some website just before that claims 1 in 6 girls have been victim of attempted and or succesful rape.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At this point they are just making up numbers that sound bad. You can't trust these figures.
It is more accurate to go with crime stats and expolate from there.
wjt0415 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all heroes wear capes
MrGlantz ยท 314 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jeppev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:18:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a really big problem in math. An overwhelmingly large portion of the problems the students have to do, is very heavily textbased. So you both have to be able to read and analyse what the question really is, before you can even start on the math-portion.
I get those a lot since I teach a glorified current events class and I wish I could remember them but today I got an answer that cause me to laugh so hard I honestly fell over so I'll share that one.
They were doing a lesson involving figuring out cost of living where we live for a unit on Poverty. They were figuring out groceries and the smart kid of the group calculates how much it costs for a year's supply of oranges since they need to "vary their ramen based diet." Anyway the number is lost in translation and his somewhat ditzy partner puts down that their group would spend $53 a month on oranges (vs $53 a year). I come by to check how there doing and saw how much they were spending on oranges. I just pictured them sitting in a tiny studio apartment surrounded by piles of oranges and nothing else and I just lose it.
Technically they get full credit since they just had to figure out a cost of living, not the best or most accurate cost of living
what i said is that where i live, you can get a kg of oranges for a dollar. that would be like 4 or 5 big oranges, maybe a lil too big to eat by yourself, so you'd share one between 2 ppl
once again, yours are some expensive ass shit oranges.
It also doesn't help that I live probably 1000-2000 miles, if not more, from where oranges would be grown right now.
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:02:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a summer camp, went up to a kid and said "Nice kicks!". He then said to me
"They're not kicks, they're Reeboks"
rowmaehn ยท 1418 points ยท Posted at 22:33:26 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates, let's call him Student3, had the funniest and most cheeky answer ever:
It was in 2003. Student3 had mucoviscidosis and was a very shy and silent but polite and liked guy.
We were discussing filming techniques in English class and the teacher asked which camera shots we learned last week.
Student1: birds-eye-shot
Student2: over-the-shoulder-shot
Student3: cumshot
Nothing really revs up the crowd like cystic fibrosis.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:23:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual answer - mucoviscidosis, or cystic fibrosis, is destructive to the lungs. Many sufferers are quiet and physically inactive when able for fear of putting their lungs out of wack. It's important to the story because it explains why he's quiet, and better shows why his response was even more funny than normal, as it came from a quiet kid.
Source best friends with a guy who's little sister has cystic fibrosis
Meefius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:51:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My SO has CF. He's the loudest most crude person I know. He would probably shout "cumshot" in public just to get a reaction because he would find it hilarious. (CF doesn't make people quiet)
I kind of hope that student3's answer WAS technically wrong. Id be rather concerned if your teacher was teaching your class about cumshots in English class.
wofo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't wanna loose your shit when you laugh you should eat more fiber or do kegels, or both.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Germany and we were teached about filming techniques in English class in 11th or 12th grade. I think that was ordinary stuff in Germany because we were taught the same in German about one year earlier.
Smgth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been browsing craigslist looking for a new place to live. Apparently the new big thing is "specious" rooms. There's just something I don't trust about them somehow....
mlkelty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:31:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Help me Dr. Spaceman!
[deleted] ยท 1504 points ยท Posted at 22:02:20 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true that, at the end of 1855, it is going to be 1856. That doesn't mean that the end of 1855 is actually inside 1856.
phx-au ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The start of April is April 1st, not the 31st of June.
2059FF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The start of April is April 1st, not the 31st of June.
Except in 1855, coincidentally, when they had an April 0th after June 31st (except in Orthodox countries still on the Julian Calendar) to compensate for the slowing of the Earth's rotation, since technology had advanced to a point where the increase of the length of the day was starting to be noticeable with scientific instruments. This is why Foucault had to periodically attend to his famous pendulum and give it a boost (or, as he said it in French, "vazylรฉon mets toute la gomme").
Fortunately, today we have agencies such as the International Earth Rotation service to make sure the length of days doesn't vary too much from 24h.
phx-au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The supremum of all time in 1855 is the infimum of all time in 1856. So, the end of 1855 is the beginning of 1856. The remaining question, then, is whether that exact moment in time belongs to 1856 or not.
i'm pretty sure that joke predates memes; it belongs in old joke books with "where does Napoleon keep his armies: up his sleevies" and "where was hadrien's wall: at the bottom of hadrien's garden"
Teacher: "What did President Clinton do the night of [some important date]?"
Me, whispered to bully/"cool guy": "Masturbated."
1) I was loud when the whole class was quiet, so the teacher overheard me.
2) The "bully/cool kid" that I was trying to look cool in front of immediately ratted me out/confirmed that I did indeed said "masturbated." He would always get "buzzed to the office" and insisted that I should be as well, despite the fact that I had never transgressed before.
3) My teacher took me outside and told me that she was going to "buzz me to the office." (Which she would normally do immediately; she'd walk to the intercom, hit a button, wait for a response, and say "please get [student] and take him to the guidance counselor's office")
Aside: Now, I wasn't exactly the teacher's pet, because I routinely didn't do homework, and would forget about assignments, but this teacher loved me because I would BS and joke around with her before and after every class. But the fact that she claimed that she was going to buzz me to the office, yet took me outside, meant I was being granted an opportunity for plausible deniability on her part.
Back to the story:
4) She took me outside and told me I was getting buzzed to the office, but she played dumb while I vigorously maintained that I said "Mr. Stupid." I backed up this claim with the very real facts that my parents were hardcore Republican Christian conservatives that despised Clinton, and that I espoused those beliefs as well, having given the president the moniker of Mr. Stupid.
5) She pretended to believe me and threatened everything under the sun if I ever came close to fucking up again.
6) When we came back into the classroom and I wasn't immediately sent to the office or punished at all, "bully/cool guy" flipped his shit and eventually HE got "buzzed to the office" for disrupting the class.
TL;DR Mrs. Jones was awesome and Martin got butthurt, although I think he had family problems. He and I are friends on Facebook now, and it looks like he's done well for himself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but in scattergories if you and another player put down the same thing neither of you get the point for it so you want to be out of the box with your answers
My brother and I once played Scattergories with my in-laws and family. The letter was "H", and for "Color" my wife's aunt put down "Hue." There was a huge argument, and my brother and I ended up leaving.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heliotrope.
BT4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call BS. Scattegories doesn't use the letter Z. My family and I play it all the time. Uhh lettered die that comes with the game is missing that letter along with others. I Or also missing: Y, U, Q, X, and V. We like to play house rules and will roll the die once to determine which list we use, then a second time to determine which letter. But that was too easy. So we decided to play a few rounds where we have to have at least one answer, for that list of ten categories, using all six letters that aren't on the die. So, for example, you could have as many as five answers of ten possible all starting with Q, but the other five all have to start with V, X, Y, Z, and U. (One letter each.)
[deleted] ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 01:59:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bummed I'm probably just a bit too late for this post but anyway:
6th grade math, first year teacher, teaching variables. Question called for students to write a word problem for x-5=10. First kid shared her story that she lost five apples and still had ten. Second kid starts his story with "Jon has 15 diarrheas"
It's never hurt so hard not to laugh. His delivery was perfect up until I cut him off.
I'm pretty sure I just woke my housemate up laughing over this one.
Sensauce ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 01:01:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in golf lessons there was this kid named chris. He was new to golf and didn't know any of the terms. So his very first lesson our instructor asks "chris what tees do you play from?" And Chris replies with "the ones in the pro shop". I don't think I've laughed harder since
Edit: in golf courses, the tees where you play from refer to where you tee off. Usually there's different tee boxes to separate the skilled players from beginners. Chris was thinking about actual tees that you buy for your ball
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's down to the ambiguity of the word tee in this context, as tee can mean the small wooden/plastic item which you place the ball on when taking your first shot of the hole, and the location dedicated to this practice on each hole.
Golf holes usually have multiple tee areas, with one dedicated to competition play (the furthest from the hole), one for men's casual play (closer to the hole), and one for women and child casual play (closest to the hole).
The teacher here is asking the male child which of the tee areas he plays from (as if you can hit further, you usually play from the middle tee to improve game fairness). The child responds with the first definition of tee listed here, where he gets his tees from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a multiple choice question that was related to avoiding subliminal seduction (brainwashing) the student wrote in "eat your wheaties" after crossing out the other answers.
Not a teacher but I work with kids. I once had a 7 year old (mildly delayed) kid circle feeling faces to tell us how he felt when he was yelling earlier. He hands me the paper back with "lovestruck" circled. Confused, i asked him why he circled that if he was mad. He replied simply, "I love trucks". I had to leave the unit I was laughing so hard.
sam537 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:53:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to assist pathophysiology classes in med school. One day we were discussing myocardial infarction, we were talking about three-vessel disease (very serious MI) and I asked: "So what does the patient need right now?" And then someone answered:"Formaldehyde!". Everyone cracked up and we had to stop the class for like then minutes.
Explanation: Three vessel disease in myocardial infarction is a very serious condition that carries a bad prognosis and almost always leads to surgery. This student went one step further (death) and prepared the body for embalming.
You've got this slightly wrong.
Triple vessel disease is very serious coronary artery disease, or ischaemic heart disease.
An MI could affect one, two, or all three coronary arteries but we don't call that triple vessel disease.
Not a teacher, but a Cubs leader, teaching fire safety.
Me: What would you do if your clothes were on fire?
Kid: Not put them on.
I mean... I guess?
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 01:15:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was doing a classwide musical in elementary school. We had to memorize the words to the songs, so the music teacher asked how we were going to do that. My best friend piped up and said "Sit down, shut it, and think about it." Class laughed, teacher was not amused, my friend was hit by a car last fall. Good times.
That is wrong though. Moist does not describe texture. Wetness and dryness are separate from texture. Texture would be stuff like smooth, bumpy, soft, rough, etc.
That's definitely true. This is just an art 1 class though, and we are practicing drawing the illusion of texture with pencil, so for all [intents and] purposes they could try to draw a 'moist' surface by drawing water droplets, for example, and that would be perfectly acceptable texture drawing in my book :)
Edit: I get it guys, yeesh
MayorBee ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 02:27:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
intensive purposes
Please tell me that was intentional.
l-_l- ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For all intents and purposes, let's just say it was.
The simplified definition I gave them for texture was "how an object feels if you touch it". So while moist isn't technically a texture, you can touch an object and describe it as moist. You can't touch an object and say it feels green.
Thats fine if thats the definition you gave them, but Im just saying that the definition you used was not technically correct or accurate. By that definition, "cold" could also be used to define texture, which is much more obviously incorrect.
Using language creatively doesnt make words suddenly mean something they just flat out dont mean. No matter how creative you get, moisture is not an aspect of texture. Full stop. End of story.
I could 'creatively' try to say that the texture of something is green, but I'd still be wrong. Color is independent from texture, and vice versa.
Texture is how an object itself feels to the sensation of touch; it is a property inherent to the object. Moisture is not part of the object itself, it is a property that is added by a separate object, like water.
If I give you a piece of sandpaper, youd say its texture is rough, or coarse, or scratchy, or something like that. If I then soaked the sandpaper in water, its texture would be exactly the same, but now the whole object would be wet. 'Wet' still isnt part of the texture though.
Moisture level is a separate property from texture, just like color is.
This student actually wanted an answer so I had to think quickly. I said some people just think of the word when it's bad. Like when you walk through a puddle in your socks. They aren't thinking of when it's a good thing, like a brownie.
There's something about it that bring to mind both something sexual and something unpleasant like having clammy hands that makes it extra gross. On top of that, the mouth shape formed when saying the word emphasises some misophonia sensations related to the meaning of the word, so it's doubly terrible if you're bothered by that sort of thing.
The last two vocab lists we've had in our English class included flaccid and fetish. Lots of giggling has been had when we're not watching Hamlet. Hell, there's plenty to giggle at in Hamlet: the version we're watching has David Tennant as Hamlet and Patrick Stewart as both Claudius and Hamlet's father and a more modern setting. During a huge portion of Act II, and the "To be or not to be" soliloquy, Hamlet/Tennant/The Doctor's wearing a t-shirt with a printed six pack design. Also, it's funny to have all the references to Hamlet killing Polonious with a rapier, when in the movie, Tennant shoots his ass with a revolver.
I'm a student, but I think it counts. Earlier this year we read Frankenstein, and the first page had a bunch of quotes on it. The student was supposed to identify who said what. I wrote Robert Walton for every quote.
The book is technically the letters of Robert Walton to his sister, so he did write every quote. He just wasn't the original.
The first few are of sensible length. Then, let's face it, the fucker sends her a manuscript.
edit: Wasn't one of the letters from his sister in return?
edit2: Wait, no, he just quotes (at least) a letter in his long one that's basically the book. But yeah, your answer is still correct for the entire book.
That sounds fair honestly. I expected him to take points off but I wasn't complaining
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a slightly different situation. We were supposed to do a book of quotes by famous people, mixed with quotes from "To Kill a Mockingbird." The teacher never specified that she wanted the name of the character, and I assumed that she wanted us to put the author's name. Since Harper Lee was moderately famous, I thought it made sense for her name to be included.
As an adjective, since the singer isn't sure whether others can see by a donserly light, contact indicates that it means "questionable sufficiency to detect." Such a useful word! For when you're not quite sure whether or not you're sensing whatever it is...
"Can you taste this donserly cordial?"
In chemistry when titrating: "my sample is donserly!"
When you aren't sure if you're hearing the neighbour's music over the sound of traffic, or whether the milk smells bad.
I teach English and we were going over sickness and injuries and asking for advice.
The activity involved them going around and giving good advice or bad advice. (Ex: I have a fever, oh you should take medicine vs. Oh you should swim for 3 hours)
One boy came up to me:
Student: What's wrong?
Me: I have hay fever.
Student: GO TO HELL!
Main teacher came over he did the same thing. The look on his face when they said: "You too."
Was teaching English to Korean students. We were learning about jobs and the question was, "What are jobs you like?" One kid raises his hand. "I like Steve Jobs."
Raaava ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 23:56:02 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one time a teacher asked
"What is a seven letter word, that starts with an A and means to stand out and unusual"
And someone said "Awesome"
and the teacher laughed and wasn't sure if he should accept that answer.
[deleted] ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 00:16:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Raaava ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome works though, very well. Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring awe. If everything was awesome then nothing is awesome as it would become the standard. So, by definition, awesome works.
I called on a student who was clearly not paying attention and the conversation went like this:
Me - "Student's Name, please name an invertebrate."
Student - "Well yesterday you said a vertebrae has a back bone, so I would guess that a invertebrate does not. Hmmmm, I would have to say that a raccoon that has been run over by my dad's 18 wheeler no longer has a back bone."
Me - Cricket Cricket
Got to love third graders! Still not sure if this is technically correct, I say no, but most disagree with me.
I wouldn't say they have to be alive, but they do have to be an animal. For example a dead deer is still an animal with a back bone (vertebrae) and a dead mollusk is still an animal without a back bone (invertebrate).
dm219 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in a catholic high school in a basic get to know Jesus class, my teacher noticed I wasn't paying attention. She asked me "where did jesus come from?" And I said "the Middle East?" She wrote me up for smart mouthing her
perskes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What answer would be correct? :o
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably either God or Bethlehem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with students with autism and yesterday one of the obnoxious office staff members who always needs attention wore her glasses in place of her contacts- she was acting all embarrassed all day and asking people if they looked ok and saying how she forgot her prescription. When she asked one of my students with Aspergers 'May do my glasses look good' 6 year old May said 'no, you look old'. Definitely not wrong but not what the office staff member was looking for.
In my first electrodynamics lecture way back when, a female student (long hair, natch) was charged up to about half a megavolt with a marx generator cascade. Fun and all, plus it turned her head into an adorable fuzzball.
The prof was a bit of a cunt though, so he asked her: "So, how are you going to get down from there without giving yourself the shock of a lifetime?"
She took her keys out of her pocket (because for electrical discharges, pain is dependent on the current per unit area of skin), held them in her hand, one sticking out, and poked the prof in the neck.
Fucker jumped at least a foot, and he was of the white-haired, cane wielding persuasion. I'd say her answer was correct, though.
iZzzyXD ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just awesome. Hope she didn't get screwed over by the principal or something.
I suppose the question is: "What do you want for Christmas?" and doesn't have a right or wrong answer but the kids thought process is clutch.
When I taught CCD to preschool/kindergarten aged children, every year we took the first Sunday of December to write our Christmas lists.
One year, a kid answered "I want an ass bitch!" To which I said, "a what?!" (Through stifled laughs because kids swearing is hilarious.) He replied with "oh, uh, a donkey doggy! But daddy is always asking mommy for that 'ass bitch' and I want him to finally be able to have it, and I want a pet to play fetch with!!!"
/DEADFOREVER.
(Edit: for because my phone is dumb and deletes stuff sometimes as I type.)
perskes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have received this letter from The Ministry of Magic because of your use of an unforgivable curse. You are going to be taken to Azkaban where you will await trial from The Wizengamot. If you leave your house, injure any Auror, or attempt to Apparate from the Aurors you will immediately be taken to Azkaban, where you will not recieve a trial and you will spend life in Azkaban.
I lived on a farm as a kid and we would we go to a local fair (we would go to the goat showing competition with our goats) and we had gone there since I was 5 and since I was 5 I would always watch this one local magician do some simple yet mind blowing (to young me) tricks I watched him until I was 11 and I watched his life grow one year I noticed he had a wife who helped him onstage one year a baby etc. for those 5 years I would always volunteer and he would never call on me... until I was 10 I went up there and he did a trick I saw him do dozens of times I knew how he did it and everything (he had become on of my idols) I was so excited and a generally shy kid so I panicked and said Avada kadavra no one noticed enough to care and afterwords I got my pack of cards which I used to practice tricks signed good times and good man.
Was teaching geography to the kids in first grade. One of the kids had a habit of day dreaming throughout all of class and ignoring the whole lesson, let's call him Calvin.
Calvin was in the middle of one of his Day dreaming sessions and I had had enough. I walked up to his desk and vigorously asked, "This is a geography class, what state do you live in?" To which he responded with a smile, "Denial."
Pizza802 ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second grade teacher slipped and told a friend of mine to "stop being a smart ass!" and he quickly replied " better than a dumbass." She turned around and continued to write on the board.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:33:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My music teacher was showing us how to use an xylophone and said "Only hit the black keys, not the white keys" and my friend instantly replied with "Miss that's racist"
When learning about musical cords someone asked if the black keys counted when playing the piano and counting the 3+4 rule etc. A Girl turned around and said, "Yes, black keys matter." She wasn't wrong and everyone needed a second after.
I was helping grad papers for my teacher. A question was "what would happen to earth if the sun suddenly disappeared" they answered "the earth wouldn't have any more days"
DonJovar ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:59:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine, let's call her Karen (because that's her name), told a story of when she was young. She was taking a test where they were shown a picture, then asked questions about details of the picture. The question was "Was the boy in the picture wearing a blue or green shirt?" Not knowing which of the two was correct (and knowing the full intent of the question) she answered "yes" and received full credit.
The intent of the question is to ask which colour it was by giving options. However it's poorly worded in that if it is in fact one of the two colours then you may answer that, Yes it is either blue or green.
I was a Co-op student at a local elementary school. I was teaching a 7/8 split. Every week during their history lesson we would ask "what were the biggest things that happened this week in history" to get kids to look up big events and learn about them.
In this class there were a lot of nerds. Like. 80% nerds. Like. Video game nerds, book worms, tv drama kids. Anime. You name it.
Well it was nearing the end if november and a Friday, and I asked the kids "okay this weekend, a very important historical event happened that shook the world. Does anyone know what it was?"
A girl BURST out and said "NOVEMBER 23RD IS WHEN THE BBC RELEASED DOCTOR WHO! THAT'S WHEN THEY PLAY THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR EPISODE"
I stood there. Shocked and kind of bewildered. Because she was right. I had to also add the assassination of JFK. But I also said that they happened almost on the same day too. It was a really cool mini lesson. But I was not expecting that answer.
I should also note the teacher was a HUGE doctor who fan and thought the same thing.
Not a teacher but during my senior year of high school my government teacher asked me out of the blue to explain what a government mandate is to the class. I wasn't paying any sort of attention so when he asked, I panicked and said it's when Barack Obama and Joe Biden go out for dinner. Took him a minute but in the end he agreed.
nelso116 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach French at a university. Like in English, the word for female cat = female genitalia. (So "pussy" = "la chatte"). I teach my students that all cats are male ("le chat", which is pronounced differently) so as to avoid any mishaps. Still, on a day where I'm being observed by my French-speaking chair, when I asked one student what she did over the weekend, she replied with perfect grammar and an excellent accent:
"J'ai jouรฉ avec ma chatte tout le week-end."
("I played with my pussy all weekend.")
My chair turned bright red trying to hold in his laughter.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a way to express that you played with a female cat all weekend that doesn't sound dirty to a French speaker?
Akian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A simple, practical way? I can't think of one.
You can always use the masculine for cat and then switch to the feminine pronoun to disambiguate, but that's not really straightforward.
"J'ai jouรฉ avec mon chat tout le weekend. Elle est trรจs joueuse."
"I played with my cat all weekend. She's very playful."
Perhaps other French will have a better idea :)
But yea, basically, you can't really avoid sounding dirty when talking about a female cat :)
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:48:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my Psychology class last semester we we're discussing the Heinz dilemma which is basically "would you steal overpriced medicine to save a life?" Anyways, the professor asks the question of "For what reasons might you steal from the doctor?" The shy girl who only answers questions because no one else will immediately pops up and says "Because the doctor's an ass."
I had to ask an eight-year-old this question for a Human Development class project.
He said "He should not have stolen the medicine, because if everyone stole to get what they wanted, then nobody would have anything, and if you stole something someone else would steal it from you, so like five percent of the world would have everything and everyone else would just be stealing the same stuff from each other over and over again."
Made it really hard for me to answer which developmental category his answer fell in.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard someone tell this story on a podcast the other day. The exam question was "what is the greatest force of change on Earth?" Test was for a geology class, the answer was supposed to be "water."
"Love," one student writes. Well, the teacher realizes, the student isn't exactly wrong. Without love we wouldn't have babies, without babies the human species would have died out a long time ago, and since humanity--the perpetrators of deforestation, changing climate, other terraforming to impose its will--is the real biggest force of change on Earth...yeah, the teacher thinks, maybe love.
I just thought...what a heartwarming story celebrating the destruction of earth at the hands of humanity.
Edit: the podcast was Dear Hank and John (or as John prefers to think of it, Dear John and Hank)
Oluja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am baby.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:07:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keyword: Can
TedW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my mother's into incest. So is my dad. And my grandparents send me a letter year every year saying they want to bang me. Woah, I gotta get outta here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We would have babies. Love is not the urge to bone. Although love does seem to cause us to raise/protect/nurture those babies. We would have a ton of fucking babies with no love. Probably more than we do with love. Fuck birth control when you don't care about the woman or the baby inside her. Assuming humans have an awareness of the correlation between sex and pregnancy in this scenario, they may try to prevent it.......But would still most likely be after their nut if they knew of some early abortion method, toxic berries or whatever. Aside from that, maternal instinct would get it born.....It just wouldn't last long. How could tender meat last so long?
Edit: Fuck making sure you protect the baby inside you, or maintain a degree of health necessary to carry a human fetus to term.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best comedy podcast about death on the market
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my 9 year old student what the difference was in how I played a note and how he played the same note. I wanted him to notice his technique was a little different.
"You've gone through puberty?"
I mean...he was right.
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine, but:
"There isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up,
"Yeah, right."
igdub ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:00:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That man from the back of the room? Albert Einstein.
I guess I had a moment like this in 10th grade in the middle of a VERY dry English class. The teacher asked us what a paradox was and nobody was raising their hands to answer because they were all about to fall asleep. I raised my hand and said " Two doctors standing next to each other". The class just stopped for a minute :p.
Tldr "what's a paradox" " 2 doctors standing next to each other"
9bikes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I feel stupid. Lol
Me too. I was looking at /u/henrywolf123 's user name to see if it was a Dr. Who reference.
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't get it?
9bikes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Paradox" sounds just like "pair of Docs". You think the question is "What is a paradox?", but the actual (joke) question was "What is a pair of Docs?".
Dr. Who is a British science fiction TV show about time travel. The lead character is "the Doctor". When an actor has left the series, the sudden change has been explained as a new Doctor has replicated. This leads to there being a First Doctor, Second Doctor, etc.. For two on them to stand next to one another who require some sort of time paradox.
SanaSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your second explanation is totally awesome and very close to my heart. Thanks for that!
9bikes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is seriously what I thought about when I first read (and missed) the joke. Funny thing is, I'm not a big Dr. Who fan, so its kinda odd that I'd go there.
SanaSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's even better. I missed both the original joke and the possibility of a reference, so nice job.
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I work at a theme park so I have to make sure kids are tall enough before getting on the ride. This little kid comes up and she isn't tall enough so she's probably like four or five years old or something and she looks at me and goes, "I'm not high enough for this ride." I was like yeah me neither.
My 6th grade students were composing 6-word memoirs (say something about yourself in exactly 6 words). Best one I ever got was, "I am bad at counting."
"Before WW2 had officially begun, Hitler was determined to do what?"
I was looking for the answer "Expanding Eastward."
I got 2 "Gassing Jews!". Ehhh, fine then.
"Rebuilding Germany!" raises hand then lowers it she's... not wrong persay. She's actually really fucking right. More right than gas jews or expand eastward.
Shit
lafeber ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:49:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but something I said when I was in 3rd grade. I was eating a sandwich in class.
A 7 year old asked what the word defeated means, his classmate raised his hand and said "it's when your feet get cut off"... I cracked up.
Athymia ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:07:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 6th grade we were doing word unscrambles to find things that come from the tropical rain forest. One kid kept bugging the rest of us at the table for answers. We got tired of him getting free answers, so he wasn't given the correct answer for "rgnieg"
-Correct answer was "ginger." That was not on the paper he turned in... He had to stay after class.
Akvian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:37:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...
kinwai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Here, look! Don't make a sound! Now observe as our little man is in his natural habitat here in the tropical rain forest. In fact, he's doing the mating ritual dance!"
Teacher: What was the name of Andrew Jackson's wife?
Student: Mrs. Jackson.
Credit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all honesty what is the academic point of that question? To see if you can make children read textbooks instead of playing, or that teachers can teach pointless information during school time?
Well we don't know what the class was about but sometimes teachers are developing kids' reading comprehension, memory and attention span rather than it mattering exactly which topic they choose. As an adult it matters that you can read a passage and learn what it says a lot more than it matters what some random dude's wife was named.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm lazy and don't want to think of any real work so just relay garbage information back to me that you'll purposefully forget"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kinwai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
_KL16_ ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school my buddy and I were working on a worksheet on WWII. The question was, "How did the Nazis go about exterminating millions of Jews in Germany?" Before I could write anything down, my friend just wrote, "happily".
One key problem with the question is that millions of jews were actually murdered in Poland. Only a couple hundred thousand were killed in Germany. Shame on the teacher.
Bekenel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah FUCK him for being open minded! Totally fuck that guy. We should all be close minded and only listen to one person to dictate everything we say, think or do!
Yeah you go right ahead and condone Nazi apologetics, I'm gonna be over here knowing that's a disturbing cultural trend I think has no place in society.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must honestly either be on the world's tallest high horse or think millions of education Europeans were complete fools. You are void of the ability to put yourself in other's shoes. Work on this and grow as a human being.
This is so horrifyingly fascinating, Nazi apologists actually out in the wild. They should have a zoo of you people. The ones who think it's ever appropriate to defend Nazis. The things you see in this world shakes head in sad wonder
You are literally calling a Jewish man a Nazi apologist. It's division of peoples and lack of understanding that created the national socialist party (Nazis) that nearly took half my family's lives in Poland. The centralising, and demonising of others is what creates totalitarianism, leading to mass executions. It starts with"you people", "lock you in a zoo". When your attitude takes hold of a population, no voice of reason can revolt. Especially not when they militarize and de-arm the citizens, leaving all options closed. I don't know what point you have to prove by pointing fingers, but you are on the wrong side of history and sociology. Take some history classes at a local community college, get to know your opponents viewpoint before blindly naming a Jew a Nazi.
Oh so you're one of those "edgy" types who wants to be different and better by being a Jewish Nazi apologist. Like "I'm not like other girls, I'm not a feminist" women. Gotcha. Well you do you, good sir. I'm done here.
I often teach Research Methods in Psychology. One of the goals of the class is to get the students to learn how to write a proper scientific paper. We spend time on things they have trouble with -- including the difference between "affect" and "effect." As a bonus question on an exam, I asked, "In class, we discussed the most common usage of "affect", which is a verb -- but I mentioned that it can also be used as a noun. Write a sentence in which you use "affect" as a noun. He wrote," "Come here, Affect," I said to my dog."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I taught 7th grade science, we studied asexual and sexual reproductionโ. It wasn't a "birds and the bees" sort of thing, just biology. I made the mistake of asking my class, "What are some of the benefits of sexual reproduction?" And one lovely young man yelled out, "It feels real good!" I did what any good teacher would do in my situation...laughed my ass off with the rest of the class and told him he was right.
Not a teacher, but in my biology class in high school we had a quiz in evolution. The final question was "name one way the world would be different without evolution."
The answer was go out, he knew it was just about recess time, but couldn't figure out what she had spelled, so he guessed play, not exactly what she asked, but still not technically wrong.
While I don't know the kids level of intelligence, or what grade this took place in, but I think he fully understood what she spelled. The meaning behind the words "go out" means he gets to play so technically he was correct .. if she wanted to know if the kids understood what she spelled she should have asked what she said not what she meant. His answer was more accurate than the "correct answer" but that's just my two cents.
But what does go out mean? (For kids). It means playing out side for a set period of time (please inserter proper "r" word that I cannot spell right now).
But to kids in school, if they go out it means it's time to play. The teacher asked what it means not what is spelled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the right answer?
ugottjon ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:37:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day in my physics class in high school we were using yard sticks. Our teacher specified that these were only to be used for measuring things. A couple of kids decided to use them as swords instead. The teacher goes "I said those are only to be used for measuring things!" and one student responds "Yes, I am measuring your patience."
I'm kind of cheating here because I was the student but I just remembered this. I was in Grade 4 and the teacher was reading us a book about Egypt and the life of slaves working on the pyramids. I was not a bright 7-8 year old by any means so this happened:
Teacher: How would you describe this job? It is a (makes 'duh' sound)
Me: Dead-end job! (I had just learned the expression and didn't know what it meant (though I'm pretty sure the people who built the pyramids weren't getting many promotions so I wasn't wrong))
Teacher: No, [MY NAME], dangerous! laughs (In my defense, I had been thinking that but it seemed so obvious that it was dangerous that I assumed she was looking for a different answer)
Everyone else was super confused because most of them had no clue what I was talking about but I'm sure if they understood the phrase they'd have laughed too. I was embarrassed for the rest of the class.
kooknboo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife works with students (10-14yo) with development problems. The question was "Name three things you love".
One kid answered -
Ms. xxx. (the teacher, my wife)
Front sex with Ms. xxx.
Butt sex with Ms. xxx.
Another time (possibly same kid, I'm not sure)... the kid was misbehaving so she told him to go to the office. The kid left the room and an hour later the police were walking him back into the school. He had walked about 2 miles down the road to a bar called The Office.
anastaze ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:40:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching some kindergarteners rhyming, we were doing the sound "ore" like in bore and one of my students yells out "whore". I couldn't stop laughing and neither could my EA. He wasn't wrong. We decided to not pry him on how he knew that word...
Nadamir ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter's eight, and in an advanced English class.
Every week they have a set list of words they have a test on, plus each child chooses 5 more that they want to learn.
I received a phone call a week ago asking me to come see my daughter's headmistress. Great.
I arrive at the school to find that my daughter had chosen 'whore' as one of her words.
She got it confused with 'wharf.'
She and I had fun with the teacher. Next week's list was only words that could be confused with curse words. Mustard, prissy, maggot...
Edit: I forgot to mention how my daughter used it in a sentence (because you have to do that).
Here in Ireland, the part of Dublin that the tech companies work out of is occasionally called in reference to Silicon Valley.
My daughter put down, 'Someday my dad wants to work at the Silicon Whore.'
Yep. I am a developer so yeah, I do want to work at the Silicon Docks (occasionally called the Silicon Wharf) eventually.
Teach him the word 'hoar' (as in frost). That used to trip up some of the city-folk teachers at my rural primary school, who were rather shocked that we used it so freely...
BobcatOU ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was introducing a unit on ancient Chinese history to a group of sixth-graders by discussing modern-day China a little bit. When I mentioned the population of well over 1 billion people in the country a boy yelled out, "Damn! Haven't they heard of condoms?!"
Cup0Jo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:25:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman health teacher said that once on a quiz it asked where the man puts his penis, and the kid wrote "wherever she lets you." He used this as an example because if our answers were funny, we'd get half credit
Friend is a chemistry teacher. She said in one of her experiments, the questions asked what was missing from the equation. The answer was NaCl. One student answered "A pinch of salt". She showed it to me laughing with tears in her eyes at how unbelievably cute that sounded and she told me in a way he wasn't wrong.
we were going over mock exam answers in DT. Our teacher can talk for ever about one topic and he gets distracted easily, so were on like question 5 an hour into the lesson. He's really passionate about sustainability and the environment and all that jazz and after about 15 mins talking about one question about renewable energy and going completely off topic he asked us how long we think the sun will last. Someone gave a stab at the answer and then he was like "we think about 5 billion years actually".
My friend who cant stand wasting time and looked like he was about to shoot himself: "fucking hell we'll be on question 7 by then"
While I was in history class the instructor asked "what should be done to punish the south after the civil war?" Without missing a beat, my buddy calls out "enslave them!".
Not a teacher but probably the most pissed I've ever seen a teacher get..
She explained some formula in algebra (8th grade or so) and did examples yadda yadda, then asks if anyone has any questions. My friend raised his hand and asked, "Why are there interstates in Hawaii?" Her face turned all red and said, "Get the hell out of my classroom."
So many of us tried not to laugh because she was so angry. When she left the room to talk to my friend we were like, "Well, she DID ask If anyone had questions." lol
Once during a routine vision test I was tested for color blindness, a test I had taken before and passed. The woman told me "read the letters in the circles" so I did, until I got to the backwards E. I paused and looked again just to make sure, but then I answered "backwards E". The lady almost closed the book because I'd done the rest so quickly. She just looks at me, looks at the card, looks back at me and says "I've never heard that one before".
tl:dr: it was a 3. Also I was 20 years old.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach ESL to Korean children. One summer I had a class of advanced students who spent the regular school year at international schools, so they were quite fluent.
During one session, I briefly remarked that my dad was a grumpy guy. One of the fourth grade boys replied, "Is it because he can't stick his private part in your mom's private part?"
My dad had penile cancer and had a portion of it removed just a month prior to this.
The person asking the question was wrong as well. Only a part of the Middle Ages is known as the Dark Ages afaik.
djeekay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:52 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The term isn't correctly in use at all.
Bashlet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something I used to do in my highschool history class. We'd generally be shown a video and then were given a standardized paper asking questions, one of which was to name a fact that the video presented. Every single time I would write down that horses existed during the time period of the video.
So why were they called the dark ages? Although I never really heard them called that in History tbh.
kjata ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "Dark Ages" is, as a name, entirely a product of the Renaissance. They had a huge boner for antiquity at that point and considered it the apex of culture. The Renaissance was a rebirth of antiquity-type behaviors, which had rather fallen by the wayside in the Medieval period.
The Middle Ages in Europe were a time of marked 'unenlightened behaviors' when compared to the rest of the world. While China was inventing gun powder and Islamic scientists were inventing the camera obscura and algebra, Europe was left arguing over things like, "how many angels can fit on the head of a needle?"
Rokusi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't to say there wasn't 'any' thinking or scientific advancement. But when compared to the Roman Empire that had just collapsed, they weren't very bright crayons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are the Middle Ages, in Europe, often described as the Dark Ages?"
The real answer: middle school history classes are still teaching horribly outdated ideas about the Middle Ages, leading to high school or, at worst, college history teachers having to deprogram them of the Dark Ages fallacy.
djeekay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. For those following along at home, we don't describe the middle ages, any part thereof, or any other era as the dark ages any more.
I had kids writing a mini-essay on whether minors should be charged as adults for serious crimes, with the requirements that they claim which side they're taking, cite evidence from provided articles and analyze that evidence to support their position. One of the articles says something about how minors getting sexually assaulted in adult prisons is a serious problem, so a kid quotes that bit, and his commentary reads: "I mean, it's gotta be true cus there's no bitches in prison and sometimes a handjob just ain't enough. You know they're gonna holla at them young boys cus it's the closest thing."
He made a claim and used evidence to support his position.
Our mini-project for the day was to come up with 10 things that you and your group would bring with you to survive on a deserted island. This one group gave me the names of 10 Japanese porn stars. Teaching in an all boys high school in Korea is something else.
caidicus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:13:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had to give an oral English test to a Chinese girl of about 7 years old. I would hold up a card, and ask her, "what does he do?" or "what does she do?"
For all of the jobs, she didn't hesitate, as she new them fluently. It wasn't until we came to "he's a writer" that she started having problems. She couldn't remember writer. The writer on the card was a black man writing in a book.
The thing is, the word for "um... uh..." in Chinese sounds like "nay gah" and when a Chinese person can't remember something, they often repeat that sound over and over again. So, instead of "he's a writer" I got "he's a nay guh nay guh, writer"
The whole office had this "wtf did she just say?" look of incredulity on their faces, with a deep and sudden silence.
Yes and no. ้ฃไธช literally means "That one" not "That is"
"That is" is "้ฃๆฏโ or "้ฃไธชๆฏโ
But when a Chinese person repeats ้ฃไธช๏ผ้ฃไธช๏ผ้ฃไธช, it is the equivalent of "that uh... that uh... that uh..." that us native English speakers might also say repeatedly, when we're stumped.
For me, the funniest will always be from a music appreciation class, when one student asserted that Handel's organ concertos would never be as substantial because Bach obviously conceived his organ works on a much larger scale.
RazarTuk ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching assistant for a computer science class.
If you aren't in programming, you need to know that variable names are really just a human convention. They only matter so you, the programmer, know what something refers to. The computer only cares about where in memory the program left the data. Hence, you normally have meaningful variable names, especially in larger programs. One student last year took advantage of this. He came up with the most random variable names I've seen, and I wish I had saved a copy of his programs. And because they were such short programs (first programming class and all), he could get away without without accidentally obfuscating his code so much that he couldn't understand it.
Normally I'd take a point off for not having legible code. (Actually for not having commented, but my idiosyncrasies are irrelevant) But I was honestly so impressed at his creativity that I let him keep the point with a warning not to do it again. (And praise for his creativity)
iyaerP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:58:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school coding class, there was a student who's variable names would start at 'x', and concatenate an x every time, so he'd have 'x', 'xx', 'xxx', 'xxxx', and so on. Our teacher told him not to, but he would always keep on doing it.
Hence, you normally have meaningful variable names...Normally I'd take a point off for not having legible code.
I had a recent discussion about this with another programmer. He pointed out that, in the current age, this convention no longer applies. Because many, many programmers are not native English speakers. Therefore, a meaningful variable name to that coder might be complete gibberish to an English speaker. So the only way to consistently apply that rule is to assume that every single person who will ever look at the code during it's life cycle would share the same native language.
He's right. (And I feel much better about my unconventional variable names.)
Also modern programming suites like visual studio make it a bit easier to track down variable references. so long as its a distinct variable it really doesn't matter anymore.
He pointed out that, in the current age, this convention no longer applies. Because many, many programmers are not native English speakers. Therefore, a meaningful variable name to that coder might be complete gibberish to an English speaker.
That's why many programmers use english variables even if it's not their native language.
sirxez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conventions are conventions lols. They don't have to necessarily be english conventions, but if the variable name can tell you something and the same way, then your better off. If people speaking different languages need access to the code, it would be far better for everything to be in english. If its so bad that you can't communicate, you guys probably shouldn't be actively messing with each others code.
I tried this in university, replaced variables in short program with "_" and bunch or random digits.
int _564645 = 10;
But it backfired because program started give wrong output and I had to debug it.
sirxez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, variables are an abstraction, but they do mean something to the compiler. And certain variable names are bad (break programs) eg using a reserved word.
Legible and commented code isn't really your idiosyncrasy. That's common practice.
My wife teaches 4th grade and gave a math test. One of the questions was "what are metric units?" One of her wittier students wrote "a system of measurement used everywhere else in the world besides the US."
Given the wording of that question I would say that that answer is simply correct, not even trying to be witty. It's probably along the lines of how I would have answered in full seriousness if that was indeed the question wording.
There was a kid in my Chemistry class (that everyone else was failing - but he was breezing through), and he did an entire exam using rods (1r = 5.0292m) instead of meters, because the test didn't specify units. The teacher had to convert the answer key to see if he was right. He was.
Burples ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:52:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Note: this takes place in Canada.
Talking about international women's day with a group of 5&6 year old girls,
we ask "does anyone know what international women's day is?"
Little girl puts up her hand and confidently declares "Donald trump thinks women aren't strong but we are!"
I teach English part time in Japan. One of my students just started studying for TOEFL, which is a pretty difficult English proficiency test (it's college level English).
We were working on a reading passage on botany, and the word "weed" came up (in the sense of not wanting weeds in your garden).
I asked him is he understood what weeds were, and (oh so surprisingly) he answered, "marijuana?"
I told one of my coworkers and he said that a similar thing happened to him. When he asked his student what weeds were, the student replied, "something you smoke and it makes you feel good".
Edit: I teach English but I cannot English.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somehow not surprised considering how influential American media is.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nubless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a different rendition of that, but the student in question wrote it all as a phrase on the last page and got full marks. I either got a diluted version of the story or its probably a made up scenario.
Not super relevant but my French teacher was going over a test with us and said "see, its not rocket surgery". Been our motto outside class ever since.
The line "it's not rocket surgery" was in the movie Mystery, Alaska (1999) and again in Boondock Saints 2 (2009), so that phrase has been floating around for almost 2 decades. Which means that both your French teacher and I are old. Hahahahahaha.
Helix-09 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q. Muslim women have lots of rights. What kind of rights do Muslim women have?
A. The right to remain silent
radellah ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:24:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 6th grade, and I was giving a pretest in math. The kids are always writing "IDK" on them, which makes me bonkers. I ask them to tell me what it is they don't know, since it's generally a vocabulary issue. It helps me plan for the unit and figure out what the kids already know. Well, one little lovey decides to write "IDK. You ain't taught me this shit yet..." which, as a pretest, is true.
Reading "Caps for Sale" with some 5-year-olds, I asked them why the man in the story had to walk funny, then did my best imitation of what I imagine Queen Elizabeth would look like attempting to cross a balance beam in high heels.
Desired answer: so the pile of hats wouldn't fall off his head
Thank you for that imagery. Just imagined queen elizabeth at her current age in heels wobbling across a balance beam with stacks of her ridiculous hats on her head
Asked my students to "draw a conclusion" while learning about the scientific method. Student drew me a gorgeous picture depicting a conclusion to the experiment he was describing.
I am a 4th grade math and science teacher....we were going over Earth's resources. The question was "why is water such an important resource on earth" that is what the text said. One of my 4th graders raises her hand, and plainly, without hesitation says "without water....what would Jesus turn into wine?" I teach in a public school in Florida....I burst out laughing and said..."that is a good question"
In a chemistry class, "Does anyone know what 'hard water' is?"
Raises hand "...Ice?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I hate school. That reminds me of when we started learning variables and I asked if X and Y were the same as E=MC2 and basically just got a look of disgust and told no and the class was silent and the teacher went on teaching. I hate small town bumpkin schools.
Teaching English to highschool brats in Argentina. I was teaching the difference between "do" and "make", for they use the same word for both in Spanish.
Me: "You can make a tantrum, but not do a tantrum.
"You can do your chores, but not make your chores.
"You can make a friend, but not do a friend".
Smart ass: "Wrong! You can always do a friend if you two trust each other"
Hmmm... My dad told me the exact same story about a school mate, except the question was about the Napoleonic Wars... I'm thinking our dads picked up on an urban legend.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:45:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we have the same bullshitting dad. Hey bro.
a7midi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:54:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The assignment was to list 10 negative habits that you want to improve and a student came up with this:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10) Procrastination
He got full marks :)
grandzu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:23:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explained the difference between a clock and a watch in teaching how to tell time to foreigners. Asked "OK what time is it now"
Student glances at wrist, says "It's 2 o watch"
First day of school, first year teacher. Giving a spiel to American History class & running through list of things we will discuss while asking the class some questions here and there to gauge level of knowledge.
Me: "For instance, can anyone tell me what the constitution is?"
Soon to be favorite Student: "I believe it is an old wooden ship"
In perfect Ron Burgundy voice, as he leans back in his chair and smiles smugly at me
My teacher once asked me "Are you talking back to me?" I responded with "Yes, that is how a conversation works." She just looked at me and didn't say anything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience in high school. It was a disagreement about a poem or something silly and the teacher did not like that my viewpoint didn't match hers. My response to the "Are you talking back to me?" was: "Either we talk like adults or you need to stop asking people their opinions in case you dislike them." The rest of the class was flabbergasted that a student would speak to a teacher like that. I was a sassy 17 year old haha.
Then I would have said "What an awesome positive attitude to have at school. I'm so proud of you that I'm going to call your family and tell them what you said today. Keep it up!"
Not a teacher but a rather notable smartass comment I made to a teacher in calc-2, years ago.
The teacher was demonstrating some God -awful complicated integral on the board. The entire class was completely lost and sitting in a stunned, half-conciouse silence fearing the day we may have to recreate this monstrosity on a test.
I don't remember the exact problem, but for those who are math people, I remember it having something to do with a "Boomerang" method of integration. It literally took the whole white board.
Anyways, we get to be about 98% through integrating for the constant "w". The professor boldly asks the class for an answer when no one knows what is happening. He turns to the class and asks...
Professor: "So we are left with our equation being equal to "w" over 2, which gives us....?"
Me: "Wouldn't that just be a single "u"?"
There is a long pause before the class and professor slowly comprehend. I left calc-2 feeling intelligent for the first time that day.
Treklow ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 00:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fifth grade teacher and this moment happened this year, January 2017. We start our mornings off with our daily agenda, as well as a riddle or joke at the bottom. We were talking about tectonic plates and fault lines in our current science section so I tried to bring that concept to our riddle/joke. My riddle/joke on the board was "Whose fault would it be, if California fell into the ocean?" The answer I was looking for was 'San Andreas Fault' but when I picked on one of my kids with an extremely concerned face he said, "Donald Trump". +5 for him and his creativity.
Edit: technically wrong, yes. Hilarious? More yes.
Utming ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 02:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: technically wrong
Tectonically wrong*
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:11:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically wrong? Fracking causes earthquakes (see: Oklahoma) and Trump dislikes government regulation--including of the environment and of energy sourcing, so...
Fracking causes earthquakes that are almost unidentifiable and not noticeable. They come in the range of <3.0 to less than 4.9. This puts it in the light or minor category with light being extremely rare to occur. You get earthquakes much larger than this daily on the West Coast
I don't want to get into this argument anymore with Reddit but you can find many studies done by Geologists and also most news reports. I looked up the Oklahoma fracking earthquakes and found that they report them at 3.0. A 3.0 is the lowest that can be recorded as an earthquake event for seismologists.
If you have questions, ask away and I can try and respond. I don't like arguing but I also don't like uninformed people making statements they don't know enough about.
I also don't like uninformed people making statements they don't know enough about.
How informed are you about how informed I am? And if you are going to assume an air of being polite and respectful, it is not effective to close with a sentence like that.
(Edited to add: Only 3.0 and unrelated to fracking, you say? Scientific consensus and peer-reviewed data > contrary government agency publications that are conveniently in line with the executive's politics (and economic interest) in the Trump era.)
Minor earthquakes. We can't do anything on the same order of magnitude as a trillion ton plate of rock suspended on molten magma
timemeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be Hillaryious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd blame the USGS for not figuring out that shit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have the money to do so since Fรผhrer President Trump started defunded all the Executive Branch offices...
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooray, indoctrinating children.
Treklow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids can have opinions too. I don't teach hate, or how to think and won't deter them from their beliefs. That's not my job. Supporting thought and explaining facts, that's my job. We explained the correct context of which fault we were speaking of, and moved forward. Valiant attempt.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mean that you're indoctrinating children, it's just shitty that kids are bombarded by politics.
I was working as a counselor at a camp called camp invention. One of the things that the kids did at the camp was called the lab. In the lab they did a bunch of activities that connected back to the theme of the lab for that day. The theme for the lab on this particular day was destruction. The teacher asked what are things that can be used for destruction. She started getting the common answers like dynamite and whatnot. Then one of the smart ass kids raised his hand and said,
"Planes."
The teacher froze for a second then moved on. The other counselor and I were trying our hardest not to burst out laughing and the kid sat there with the biggest grin on his face. He knew what he said.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught kindergarten. Child's mom was expecting. The boy said "when mom eats the food, the baby is in the tummy and has to catch it. That's how it works!"
Not a teacher but in my auto care class (all about cars) our teacher asked "what does the cooling system do?" (he was looking for things like vents heat and maintains operating temperature.) a guy in the back responded "cools the engine"
When explaining articles of clothing to my 14 year old Chinese students, I had to explain too big of clothes means loose, while too small of clothes means tight.
He made left hand into a very small "ok" sign, and with his right pointer finger penetrated the ok sign slowly and said "Teacher, it's too tight!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shows you're a good teacher if he caught on that quickly. You should be proud.
I had my students debate the Manifest Destiny to understand how racist thoughts were developed and how Native Americans suffered from this.
At one point one student decided to turn the debate into an analogy about pizza and the class ran with it.
"Just because the Natives gave the new settlers a bit of land doesn't mean they intended for the white people to take over all the land. If I gave you a slice of pizza it was not my intention for you to take the entire pizza, that's just rude!"
I had to explain at the end that Natives didn't willingly hand over land, however they did sign land treaties by force or to protect themselves. So it was right. The pizza analogy made me laugh as the class turned racist thoughts into pizza.
To counter the argument the "racist side" claimed: "well you guys are not effectively eating the pizza! You are letting it sit and rot. We can effectively use the entire pizza so it should be ours".
On the plus side I think I got a lot of kids to think about racism in a whole new light.... through pizza.
GMane2G ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:11:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: it's been ten minutes and you're only six words into your essay!?
Student: I'm looking at it more like I'm six words down.
Source: middle school public school teacher
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catholic school religion class.
Priest: "What's the difference between faith, hope and chastity?"
Me: "How they're spelled."
Not the most creative answer, but it wasn't wrong.
I taught junior high. A boy was sitting at in class and a boy was sniffing the crotch of his gym shorts. Against my better judgement I said, "Jake, stop sniffing your gym shorts!"
He replies, "They're not mine, they are Natalie's" and he point to the girl sitting in front of him.
Didn't happen to me and not exactly what was asked for, hopefully I'll be forgiven.
My friend's dad, (Mr. D) taught 5th Grade English at a private school in North Dallas. One day, they were doing an assignment out of the book, but one girl (Ms. K) told Mr. D that she left her book at home. No problem, Mr. D loaned her his teacher's edition and resumed the lesson.
They came to part of the exercise where the students are to name three adjectives. Ms. K's hand went straight up, so Mr. D called on her. She said, "Three adjectives are: answers will vary."
Not a teacher but in my statistics class the professor called on a student who was clearly not paying attention and it went like this:
Prof: Is the answer positive or negative, Ben?
Ben: what?
Prof: what's your sign?
Ben: Pisces.
In college I was falling asleep in a science class while talking about energy production (oil wind solar...) I was asked "are you falling asleep" I said. "No just conserving energy"
Not a teacher but my son's doctor when he had his 4 year old check up, asked him to stand on one foot (to check his balance). He paused...walked over to the doctor and stood with both feet on top of her left shoe, while hanging onto her leg for dear life. She was crying she was laughing so hard, and didn't end up making him do the actual test because he did do what he was asked.
It wasn't an academic question or anything but I run a social skills class. We were discussing fear one time and I asked everyone to write down what their fears were. One girl wrote "that the afterlife is even more boring than my life is right now."
It cracked me up. I'm a first year teacher and stuff like that surprises me all the time. Makes your day.
I has a relevant story of kind of a backwards situation i was is 7th grade and it was the start of English class and the teacher calls on the kid in the front to pass up the homework to which he replied "I didn't do it". So the teacher asked why, the kid said "my grandmother died yesterday". The teacher with a huge smile on his face says " you could have done it anyway it's not like she's going anywhere right."
Kid breaks down crying .. teacher felt like an asshole..
kundkle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:51:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher in Japan, the students were to finish the sentence "I can't stand..." And someone wrote "I can't stand on water"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:55:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher gave us a riddle. "If you have it, you want to share it, but if you share it you no longer have". The answer was "Secret".
Some smart ass answered "Your Virginity". The best part was the teacher was half deaf, and couldn't hear it after my classmate had yelled it two or three times, so the teacher asked him to write it on the board. Hilarity ensued.
I always share them with my staff through emails under the subject "Student Quote #XXX" (where the x is the current number). My plan was to retire when I reached 365 and then make a day calendar for teachers...
While teacher grade 2 kids about percussion instruments I was describing all the different instruments. We got up to the cowbell, talked about the sound it made then I asked 'why do cows wear cowbells?' Instantly one of the kids blurted out ' because their horns don't work!'
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:32:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so. When I was younger, maybe 5 years old, I thought my dads friend Jason was the cutest guy ever. I asked him to be my valentine and he agreed nicely to play along but my dad jokingly said "he's married you'll break his wifes heart" and I took it seriously and cried telling him I was so sorry and avoided him as much as I could after. I guess he moved or something because he stopped coming by as often. My parents split so time spent with my dad was usually just him and I as well.
Fast foward to freshman year of highschool. First day of p.e. class. The coach is going down the attendance list and half way through he stops, looks up and says "ah, what do you know, little miss valentine is 'FIRST/LAST name', here?" I looked up, really looked at his face to try to understand and suddenly I remembered, crap, that's jason, my now p.e. coach.I was so beyond embarassed. I raised my hand and he just started laughing. For the rest of the year he called me valentine.
ravl13 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:18:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching Assistant for High School History:
"Can someone please explain what caulk is used for?"
Student:
"It's for filling up cracks!"
The kid knew he struck gold, and pretty much made this face:
Not a teacher but this happened to me. I just moved to the area that summer and I'm a really shy kid so I didn't make any friends when I first moved there.
On the first day of school one of my classes was a typing class. I didn't have a book so when I showed up the teacher asked me "where is your book?"
My reply was "I ain't got no book"
He then says "in English please"
I was a bit confused what he meant so I said it slowly "I ain't got no book"
Again he replies "say it in English!"
So in my best British voice I could muster I said "By George I ain't got no book!"
The whole class laughs.
He said "No no no. What you said was a double negative which means you do have a book. You're supposed to say I have no book"
First day of school people think I'm a class clown. I seriously thought he wanted me to say it in a British accent.
Technically I wasn't wrong no?
Hijatha ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade my teacher and some other students where having a conversation before class. The teacher asked "How do chickens make eggs then?", regarding who knows what. I interrupted with "They get laid". 8th grade me was very proud of the fact that the entire class burst out laughing.
My APUSH teacher shared this student-example of what not to do on an FRQ: "The telegraph was one of the most important inventions of the 19th Century or as Samuel Morse would have said " beep beep beep boop beep boop beep beep."
m123771 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:04:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student, My college algebra professor asked if we needed help on any of the HW questions we all blurted out the same question at once, as he wrote on the white board several students told him what to right at one point one student said 2B another student corrected him and said it was in fact 2X. The professor said "is it 2B or not" to which another student responded."so 2b or not 2b is your question"
I am a teacher, but I still haven't had a very funny answer to any questions yet.
When I was an undergrad, however, I had a prof who would throw random questions at the end of the exams as little bonus point opportunities. One was "Who was Elizabeth Cady Stanton?" I knew that I'd read about her, but I couldn't for the life of me come up with what she was known for. I ended up putting "Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a woman in my history text book" and got full credit. I loved that professor
I was a student in science class back in grade 6, all of us where talking about mirrors and why they r reflective with aluminum and shit. So my friend was acting up and throwing paper planes around cuz science class was mad boring. The teacher says " Stop doing that (idk what else this was like 6 years ago), am I clear."
My friend said " No because if you where, I'd see right through you. "
Welp at least he learned something from that class, I surely didn't.
The question in a junior English class was about the plot line in Romeo and Juliet.
Teacher: Where did Romeo go after his meeting with Friar Laurence?
Student: He went to meat Juliet.
So mad that this won't translate correctly, but here goes:
I'm an engineering student in Sweden, and a while back we had a class on building dynamics, calculating forces applied to structures etc.
So our professor is french, but mostly fluent in swedish, albeit with a fairly thick accent.
He was explaining why steel beams look the way they do (specifically, I-beams). The thinner, middle part of an I-beam is called the "Liv" in swedish, which translates to "Life". The two outer parts are both called the "Flens", which is also a swedish slang word for the gunk that accumulates under one's foreskin if not properly washed.
So, the professor explains that the "Liv" is so thin because in most cases, it doesn't need to absorb as much force as the outer "Flens". Long story short, he concluded the lecture by stating what in english would be "Life is pretty much meaningless, but the dick cheese is what's most important!"
You had to be there, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:21:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology:
At the end of the test, I had 10 words they needed to explain.
One of them was evolution chain/tree (I don't know the exact translation, famous example is the different evolutions of a horse).
One kid answered: Charmender, Charmeleon, Charizard.
I gave 0.5/1 for that answer, because he misspelled Charmander.
hua8179 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:54:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but:
I asked one of my patients when he was turning 5 years old
I was teaching 9th grade biology summer school and we were talking about neurons and how they don't regenerate when they are damaged or killed like other cells in your body do. I had this one student who wanted to go by Big Money Sonny, which obviously is what I called him. Big Money wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but tried his best. I told my students that hitting your head in football or a car accident can be very damaging because those brain cells that are damaged won't come back. A light bulb went off in Big Money's head and he raised his hand and said, dead serious, "yeah!! That's true!! My mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby and that's why I'm so dumb!!" I had no idea what to say, because this is likely a true story, but I couldn't be like "that's right Big Money!! Dropping you on your head could make you dumb!", and I also couldn't tell him he's not right, because it was a correct response. Basically the whole class, including Big Money and myself, just cracked up laughing for a good 5 minutes, and my students never forgot that neurons don't regenerate like skin cells do, so thanks Big Money! You're s better teacher than I.
lrx959 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:42:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a social studies teacher and I was going over Islam. Inevitably one student brings up terrorism, so I ask the clarifying question "What is a terrorist?" To which one student replies "isn't that when someone visits another country?"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, rather a witness in my sophomore year of high school. My friends were all pretty intelligent, myself included, so many of our classes aligned. During AP Euro one day, we were talking about Austria (unrelated to WWII) & their political structure or something like that during the 1940s. One of my friends, Theo, was born in Italy, speaks 4 languages & is generally a smart dude. Emigrated to the US just a year & a half before this, though, & was always quick to answer & ask questions.
My teacher was explaining something & made the mistake of saying, "Now, in the 40s there was an Austrian who was cooking up some really interesting stuff, and --"
Theo's hand shot up, & without being called upon, he blurted, "Oh! Was it Hitler?" in complete, genuine seriousness.
I legitimately cried.
Staminix ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:23:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unsure how true this is, but I had an English teacher that told me that when she was studying Philosophy they had a question in an exam that asked "Define bravery" to which one of her friends answered "This" and left the room.
Similar story I was told, also unsure of value of validity: my cousin took philosophy in college. Studied for a straight month for the final exam. Got the exam, it was one question: "Why?"
He looked around and everyone was writing feverishly. He got pissed he studied so long for no reason, wrote "Why the fuck not?" On the test and walked out.
The only correct answers were 'why not?' and 'because'. He got a bonus point for still getting it right through frustration (obvious by his vulgarity haha).
Hwaryeon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:29:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine answered a question during our class' Science reviewโ
Teacher: What would you call a dead star?
Friend: John Lennon?
She got half credit, I'm still so proud.
SA_Swiss ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:20:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late to this one. I am not a teacher, but I think this is technically correct.
When I was in high school (around 16 years old) the teacher threatened us with failing the exam if we continue to not complete our daily homework.
At the end of the threat, she stated "Who laughs last, laughs best". I responded without thinking "Who laughs last is a bit slow in catching the joke"
Got sent to detention for that one.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walked into home room late and the teacher asked "why were you late?" And I turned slowly and said "because the bell rung before I got here" and everyone started to snicker and the teacher stared at me for a second and said "touchรฉ, that won't work twice sit down." For better or worse one of my prouder moments in high school.
So in sophomore year of high school we were studying apartheid in South Africa. One day we had a whole bunch of reading assigned and I decided not to do it. Like it was sophomore year I had chicks to not be banging I couldn't waste my time reading about South Africa. So I come into class the next day and surprise we have a pop quiz. But this is an oral pop quiz and the teacher just asks each student one question and you either pass or fail. Many of my fellows had also elected to skip the reading so they began to fail at answering the questions. When it came to my turn the teacher was kinda mad that nobody had done the reading. So he points to me and asks "What was the cause of the Soweto Uprising?" and I look back at him and without a second's hesitation I'm like "Apartheid". He stares at me for 5 seconds and then is like "Ya I guess." Best Quiz Ever. Sucks to suck everyone else in that class.
I've posted this before and it's hard to explain but I'll try.
I teach dance and in my preschool class we sing songs with motions, dance tap and ballet. In our song we sang "shuffle off to buffalo!" And I had the kids point to the side for the motion.
So one day my boss comes in to see how the class is going and she asks the girls to do a shuffle (basic tap move). Well one of my girls points go the side like how we do for "shuffle off to buffalo"
It took me a bit to stop laughing after that and my boss was so confused haha
Zaluiha ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:50:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walking my 7 and 9 year olds home from the bus. I asked the younger on how his day was. He replied "I've got fucking homework". I said to him that "fucking"'was not a very good word to use and could cause him problems in certain situations. He looked at his older brother and said " you told me I could say that word anytime". At that point the 9 year old started running and laughing.
Back in A Level Spanish class in the UK, the teacher asked us "What's the Spanish word for 'bird'??"
I instantly responded "Chica", without really thinking.
rumor33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might have just been me, but once I was asking a group of 1st and 2nd graders things youll find in the desert
1st kid "A catus!"
Me "Absolutely, great example! Anyone else? Joey?"
2nd kid "cacti"
He said it so smooth and with so much confidence. It also struck me funny that he pluralized it correctly but still had no idea what was going on.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my geometry class, I asked students to name the shapes on the paper. I got one kid turning in a paper full of things like "John Halloway" and "Mr. Grumpcakes". Technically, he named them.
On a math test, I wrote the correct answer but couldn't figure out how to show how I got it where it said "explain" so I just wrote "DIVINE INSPIRATION" with a doodle of a crystal ball and got full credit.
It wasn't intentionally a question, nor was I looking for an answer but one time one of my kids was struggling with a new conversation (English tutoring), and I said reassuringly, "okay Ronnie, can you say 'it's a computer'." He stared at me wide eyed and just said:
"No."
It was such a cute moment I had to laugh.
Not really a question you can get wrong, but in one of my classes we were going around the room introducing the person sitting next you. You had to give their name and something interesting about them.
This girl is sitting next to some guy that's really into cars, and when its her turn to introduce him she goes:
"This is (insert name), and he has an STI."
Entire class proceeds to laugh while the guy buries his face in his hands.
Not a teacher but sometimes we were the ones to grade our classmates homework. Think of it like the teacher explains the answers while we correct whoevers paper we get.
One of the questions was a math problem. We had to solve it and write the answers in a table. My friend who though extremely smart was also a bit of an airhead. He drew a coffee table and proceeded to write his answers in it.
Aduadu1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an ESL teacher and I was playing 20 questions about celebrities in my class. One of the students had Michael Jackson and was asked whether the person was black. The student answering thought about it for a second before answering "kinda..."
Late to the party but I taught in a very small school in England. One lesson I was working with reception (4-5yo) and there are 6 of them so quite a big year group for the school. I asked them to be creative with 2d shapes in the outside patio area. I looked out and saw one of the boys chasing another one with his trousers down. Turns out he had put a 2D triangle between his bum cheeks and was being a shark. I suppose he did as he was asked...
Waay too late, but: I was talking about pregnancy to a class. The mother gives the foetus oxygen and nutrients through the umbilical cord. So I asked what the mother gets in return, meaning CO2 and the molecules the baby produces as waste.
I completely lost it when a student answered: "love".
"That's exactly correct! 9 times 5 IS at least 40! Get on up here!"
B00YAY ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking WWI stalemate. Kids had to design a weapon of war that would end the stalemate and allow for an Allied victory.
Girl walks up, turns in a blank piece of paper. "I'm finished!" she says. Well, no, you need to do the assignment. Very funny. "Flip it over, she says." I do. Title of Invention: "INVISIBLE SHIELD."
Damnit.
When I was 3-4 years old my father asked me if I could name an animal that was a predator. I answered "rabbit". Dad: "No that is not a predator". Me: " ohh no that's right. They're muslims" (The rabbits)
Raaava ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:58:59 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the joke was, rabbits was confused with "Rabbi" which is a Jewish version of priest and confused it again, thinking Rabbis are Muslim when they are Jewish. Maybe...
Or the kid made a link between "predator" and "predator drones"....and somehow had heard something about drones killing people in predominantly Muslim areas. That kind of mental leap happens.
Mporte9 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I still remember my father telling me that he took a psychology class during his short time in college. The final exam was one question...the professor put a chair in the middle of the room and asked the class to convince him/her the chair was not there.
After watching his classmates start filling out paragraph after paragraph, my father who was already dropping out wrote "what chair?", and walked out. He received an A ok the final.
I have two stories from when I was a student in college and I got into a kurfuffle with professers over my "technically correct" answers... twice!
The first was Tax Accounting. We were supposed to have read a chapter the say before and then had a "pop quiz" on it during class. I was bored while studying and the fine print usually had something amusing to say. In this instance there was a note that some obscure tax rate was randomly different for ONE year. Turns out there was a question on the quiz about it. The professor put the answers on the board for three whole class after and when it came to this one his answer was wrong. He was a 1st year professor. I was the only one to notice. He opened the book and said, "I'll be damned... Well everyone can have that one for free then!" Kinda bullshit.
The second time was a Finance professor who told us on the first day of class to "think outside the box." On the Final Exam there was a bonus question. The question said, "Your aunt left you with 50 shares of stock XYZ and an extra $50 that you must invest in one of the stocks listed below for 1-year. How would you spend the money to get the most guaranteed return? You HAVE to spend the money." There was maybe 10 other stocks listed (including XYZ) with detailed information. It was ended to be a long/difficult problem bc you'd have to manually calculate the Beta for each and bla bla - it was also a long test and there was no practical way to have enough time. You were also required to show your work for credit.
So, instead, I found a loophole. I said that I would put a "collar" on stock XYZ (combination of buying/selling Put and Call Options). I would make the purchase first then the sale for the same amount meaning I was GUARANTEED to get my original investment back. We learned about the "collar" as a theory with no practical application, but it worked perfectly here and satisfied the requirements. I went to his office hours to ask if I had gotten credit for my answer. He told me that he'd never seen anyone get it right in nearly 20 years and that he'd never considered my answer. Said it wasn't the answer be wanted. I responded that regardless of what answer he wanted mine was better because it had an absolute guaranteed return - it was risk free, and no other strategy could do that!
I'm not a teacher, but our teacher always has a "My favorite mistakes" page after a test that's anonymous. Anyways, the test asked: What happened at the end of 1942? His answer: The start of 1943
I had a true/false question on a Spanish exam I gave. It was about some dystopian story we read that took place in Uruguay. The question asked whether Uruguay was a "pacรญfico" place in the story, which in Spanish means "peaceful", but the student responded "false" and wrote that Uruguay is an "atlรกntico" place.
kisordog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to a fellow student during an oral exam on bird anatomy. He was struggling with the answers the whole time, and when he got to the last part, which was identifying different species by their feet, it got really painful, he did not get even one right. So he got failed. Angry and regretful, he went out the door and was just about to close it behind him, when the teacher called to him, 'What was your name again?' He paused for a second, and then, without saying a word, pushed one of his feet back inside for the teacher to see.
9th grade Biology quiz - there was a question about an amoeba with a contractile vacuole, and how it pumps out water so it doesn't swell with water and burst. The students were asked to explain why, in solution X, the amoeba doesn't contract any more.
The correct answers explained that solution X was isotonic to the amoeba's cytosol, and therefore there was no influx of water into the cell.
One kid stated that solution X was hydrochloric acid and had killed the amoeba. I gave her the mark.
The question on the test was "What happened to the main character in the story?"
answer: He got scrood.
Not at all an appropriate answer from a second grader but I had the hardest time keeping a straight face when I gave him the opportunity to correct it.
I was recently scoring a test on algebraic equations. The question required students to justify their mathematical problem-solving steps, and one student wrote "because math."
I was facilitating a healthy foods class with kids. We tossed a beach ball with various pictures of food on it. Whatever food your pinky landed on, you had to talk about your favorite way to eat it.
In the middle of a lesson, one student blurted out "I know what sperm means!"
I am in shock as these words were coming out of a grade 1 student. And then the student continues "It means when a boy says I LOVE YOU!!"
Not a teacher but I was a student. One day in High School when not many kids had turned up or there was some other event happening, the teachers were letting us watch movies or just have free time to do nothing. In Bio we were discussing the topic flowers and how they produce scent when they are "mating" or such. I was a quiet kid who only hung out in one or two groups so not many people knew of my sense of humour or what I was like to be around. I managed to come out with "So we're basically smelling horny flowers". The teacher awkwardly confirmed and the couple of my friends in the class laughed while other kids stared in shock that I'd said something like that.
I remember when I was in grade 1 or 2, I was late to class for whatever reason and missed the writing assignment. So I was taken aside give a pencil and book and told to write down how I would make my perfect sandwich, but I heard it as Sand Witch, lived near the beach, made lots of sand castles and such as a kid, so I didn't think twice about it.
So I write things like seaweed for the hair shells for the eyes and maybe an old stick for the nose. My teachers read it and had a good laugh, o felt pretty dumb for awhile after that but looking back I would have laughed at me too.
I heard this from a friend, so the details may be off.
When he was in high school, his history teacher gave the class an assignment to write a letter as if they were a civil war soldier during a battle. My friend wrote half of a letter, drew a rough line across the page, stomped on the page a few times, and poured some red ink from a pen on the page and turned it in. The teacher asked why he did that, and he replied "he got shot because he was writing a letter in the middle of a battle."
Apparently the teacher loved it, so she gave him full credit and hung it on the wall.
Highschool science teacher was asking the class how we could make the classroom more green (environmentally), the class was silent for a good two seconds until this one guy said, "We could paint it!"
Late but the most common dumb answer is when I write a question like "do you know the rhyme used to remember the notes on the line of the treble clef?" And more than half the class just answers yes,
Not a teacher, but a Math professor once showed the computer lab an error in approach that happened to get the correct answer. I can't remember the exact problem but it was similar to this:
Obligatory "not a teacher" but one of my best friends throughout high school. She never did well, but was hilarious and teachers loved her.
"AM, do not sit on the desk. Sit on your chair!"
AM proceeds to put her chair on her desk, then sits on the chair. Teacher could not contain herself and the entire class ends up on the floor in stitches.
Unfortunately she died in a car accident the year after graduating. During our once a year get together, my high school friends reminisce about this and all that other times she has us in hysterics. Life is cruel, man.
Not really. She was my first friend when I moved to high school. I had moved from another town, and first break of the first day, there were two girls walking around where I was sitting, reading, pretending not to care I didn't have any friends.
First girl finally says, "Would you like to play with us?" AM punches her full in the arm at this. First girl looks at her, sighs, and says, "Ok, would you like to HANG OUT with us then." AM was satisfied. And that's how she became my friend. Girl could give me a dead leg like no other.
And in Year 12 convinced our mutual bestie that the dead bird she found on the side of the road was just a realistic toy, allowing her to carry it around all day, and even let other class mates touch it and put it in their mouths. If anyone from my high school class reads this, they'll know who I'm talking about!
The stories go on and on. But she'll always be in my heart.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:57:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. My friends and I were actually reprimanded for laughing so loud at her open casket viewing (only a few select people were there), remembering how crazy she was. Her mum didn't mind, but the funeral home people couldn't understand. Friends like that are one in a lifetime!
Student in a German lesson gave the wrong gender to go with the German word for "door". The teacher corrected them. The student said, "Why isn't the gender for door male, it's got a knob!".
I was the student. I'll admit, I was in college at the time. My answers was genuine.
The professor was trying to make a point about stereotypes and assumptions. She said, "We generally make assumptions about people. For example, many people generally consider people from Brazil to be Spanish. But actually, they areโฆ?"
You mistook nationality for language. Brazilian people speak Portuguese, but they still Brazilian
Jediguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student - Highschool physics teacher liked to tailor questions to each class to include classmates names and things into the scenario. One was if myself and two friends threw an Xbox off the roof of an X ft high building how fast would the Nintendo be going when it hit the ground? I answered that it'd still be inside since we threw an Xbox off the roof. He gave me credit for it.
btao ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me=Student
Sophomore year of college in my critical writing course with a teacher that was old, out of date, and believed only her way was correct, and wouldn't consider any other arguments. This was critical writing mind you, where that's almost the point. I've had straight As in every English class I've ever taken. I love language, writing and .... critical thinking. I've struggled with this class, getting B's and C's, despite putting some of my best work out there to triumph over her unforgiving nature and methods.
For our final paper, confident in my abilities, she let us boldly pick a topic highlighting why critical thinking is important in writing with no page limit. Well, I was fed up, and in my boldest scholastic move, I wrote a paper well over 50 pages long, analyzing each assignment, my argument, and why the teacher's grading and analysis were weak, incomplete, showed a lack of understanding of the principles of the material, and described every way she was wrong and a bad teacher.
Well, she gave me an F, which meant I failed the class, so I filed an appeal. I presented everything in front of a panel, and sat there while everyone read everything, presented all my assignments to support it along with my argument.
I received an A for the class, with a number of accolades, but my adviser told me point blank to never do that again, and not to tell anyone. To ice the cake, the teacher was fired the following week, which explained the request.
bmcf1lm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teach but rather the student. In 6th grade we had these math books with a bunch of stupid questions in them as far as logic goes. The most memorable one was "Mr. Jones leaves his car running in his garage overnight. The car burns approximately .3 gallons of gas per hour. If he sleeps from 9pm to 8am and the price of gas is $1.25 per gallon. How much gas has he wasted?"
My response: "It doesn't matter how much gas his car will burn as he will have died of carbon dioxide poisoning before he wakes up."
Somehow, I actually got it right.
bmcf1lm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is what I initially thought but questioned myself for some reason. The worst part is, I'm a car guy, I should know this.
softeky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:01:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son was asked by his teacher "What is the difference between a stove and a fridge". My son replied "The stove does not get cold and the fridge does not get hot".
The teacher used this as an example of my son's odd thought processeses . The teacher wanted to discourage my son's reasoning. I know my son better and asked the teacher if she thought her preferred answer was still accurate - if the power was out.
My son is 5. He would like his teacher to think "Out of the Box", stove, or fridge for that matter.
softeky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:21 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A stove does not get cold... it does not always get hot (not being used, power out, broken, etc.)
A fridge does not get hot... it does not always get cold (power off or broken etc.)
The 5 year old's answer is more often correct than the expected answer.
Find the integer.
Q: square root of 144
Student's answer: 144
Me: your saying the square root of 144 is 144?
Student: no. They said find the integer.
Me: you're supposed to solve it not just erase the square root sign.
Samuel: It says find not solve
Not a teacher. But in my high school biology class the teacher asked "what can help fertilize land?" (Not the exact wording of the question but can't remember word for word)
Kid yells "Mexicans!"
The two Mexican kids in the class had some words for him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach pre-kindergarten. We were doing a unit on the five senses and I was reviewing the senses with the kids, so I ask them questions like "What part of your body sees?" and "What part of your body tastes?" I then ask them "What part of your body smells?" and one little boy responds with "Your butt!" Well, technically, he was correct.
I teach kindergarten. One week we were studying the letter P and as a class we were creating a word web of words that began with p. We'd come up with lots of great words like "pop", "petunia", "pickles", etc until I called one of my little pals that had been waiting so patiently. When I called on him, he quite loudly stated that "pu$$y started with P". I just sat there dumbfounded for a second and thought for sure I had misheard him or something and just responded with "what?" One little girl piped up, "I think he said pussycat" and my friend quiet adamantly responds with "No, I didn't! I said pu$$y. Like 'Thomas the Train is a real pu$$y."
Not a teacher. More like a TA for a middle school class. Also technically not an answer. But worth mentioning.
I was helping a group of students develop a marketing pitch for a persuasive essay assignment. We were talking about nut by-products. We go over nutella, almond butter, almond milk, etc. One of the kids goes, "How can almonds have milk? They don't even have nipples." I died.
Gomets51 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:53:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a test I asked "What are 3 factors that led to the rise of slavery in the South?"
Student answer:
1. White People
2. White People
3. White People
Im too late probably but theres a math question: jane has 3 english books and 4 chinese books, how many books does she have altogether?
In place of proper number sentences, kid drew 4 chinese books and 3 english books, with titles, details and all, circled them and wrote 7 at the answer line.
I work with kids, part of my job is best described as tutoring. And I work with two kids at once. One of the children had to write sentences on what he enjoys doing that does not involve electronics. I was trying to help him think of things to help him: going for a walk, reading a book, playing ball, drawing and so on. At one point I asked his partner, who is 5, if he had any ideas. He responded with, "I like wearing a shirt."
vip3r79 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece had the following on a worksheet: You smell smoke, what does that tell you? Her answer: My dad is cooking something.
I asked my first graders a deliberately tricky math problem. No one could solve it. One very sharp girl, Niki, gave what appeared to be the obvious answer, but was wrong.
I asked Mrs. Nelson, the aide in the room, if she thought Niki was right. She smiled and said, "No!"
Hoping to get them problem-solving and thinking deeply, I asked the class: "Why doesn't Mrs. Nelson agree with Niki?"
Another girl sheepishly raised her hand and said, timidly: "Because she's not very smart?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EFL teacher. Word formation exercise.
"Don't be afraid of the dog. He's really _______." (HARM)
Expected word was harmless. Student wrote harmonic.
University intro astronomy class. We were doing a chapter on extraterrestrial life. I put a question on the quiz: Name a place in the solar system where we might find life.
High school math teacher, but I do private math tutoring on the side for students not enrolled at my school (conflict of interest).
I'm at a student's house and he's working through a problem his teacher assigned. At one point he makes a mistake and I point out, "Oops, there's supposed to be an x there." He mutters, "Ugh, there's always an x." He was about to carry on with his work, but his mom who was next to us chopping vegetables starts laughing her ass off. It's not even that funny but her laugh is infectious and soon all three of are laughing at math.
I instructed my writing students to write their essays on only one side of the paper. One student wrote her entire essay on the left side. No points deducted.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our teacher gave us a quiz and this was one of the questions
Q: What is the definition of a dictator?
My answer
A: One who dictates.
I didn't know and BSed it and was surprised the teacher didn't mark it wrong. But I guess I technically was correct.
I was grading a problem about a rocket with too much fuel on board to reach orbit. The solution to the problem was to remove some of the excess fuel before launch, but one student suggested that the rocket could be given a nonzero initial velocity.
This doesn't answer the question, but I guess it's kinda similar and I love this story
My sophomore year back in high school I didn't do my homework, but the kid next to me - we will call him john- did do his homework.
I asked if I could see it and he said I didn't have a enough time to copy it so I took his paper and next his name I put mine so it looked like this "Name: John & Jim"
So the next day we get the paper back and our teacher wrote 'sly' on the paper and gave both if us the grade. What a true friend haha.
teaching English to a bunch of 6 year olds. i tried to elicit the word "socks" from one kid and he could not figure it out. so i said, "there's one on the left, one on the right, and they are smelly." The kid immediately pointed at his crotch and said, "this?"
Not a teacher, but a friend's sister had the question "What is the biggest bridge you've crossed in life?" on a psychology exam and she wrote the Tacony-Palmyra bridge. To be fair, it was probably the biggest one she physically crossed!
I only went to school for 4th-5th grade, and then high school (was home schooled the rest). Apparently, in elementary school, you are assigned a number. This is just a tally number out of the total kids in your grade, for easy identification while grading.
Well, I was never told this, nor was I told my number. So in 4th grade, when it asked for my number on the assignments, I wrote my home phone number on it.
Nobody corrected me for the whole year.
nealius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a verb. Unless you mean the old software program. "quickening" is a noun, but I don't think it's the one they were looking for.
Shurdus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard from my physics teacher he liked an answer I gave in a mechanics exam. He always said that if we gave a weird answer, he would read the question again and if he worded it poorly, we would get points. He made a question where he described a complicated mechanics setup. First question was 'make a drawing'. I drew a sun, house and flower. Got a laugh rather than points.
mintei ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:58:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First grade reading comprehension from 2 days ago.
Q: Why do you think humpback whales sing?
A: "read the stoy."
When I was 7, I remember there being a few days where we were learning about bears in honor of the upcoming Teddy Bear Picnic. One day, when we had a substitute teacher, she gave us a short fill in the blank quiz, and one of the questions was something like "Which bear isn't a real bear?" I wrote in "Winnie the Pooh." I think I remember this moment in my life solely because of how tickled she was. She laughed for what felt like a few minutes. The correct answer was "Panda Bear." On a side note it has been years since I heard that term. People have just been calling them pandas for a while now.
My favorite was when a kid answered "wear a condom" to almost every question on a human reproduction unit test. He actually got an answer correct!
Gedunk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade biology, we were doing a photosynthesis lab and the students had to write how this information could be applicable outside of the classroom. One of my students wrote "If someone held a gun to my head and asked 'What is photosynthesis?' I would not die because I knew". She's not wrong lol
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:10:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but one time we were learning something in math class and the teacher had an example on the board and said "how did we end up with 342?" A kid rose his hand and said "math"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student in Kindergarten who wrote a hilarious answer. The question was: What has a head and a tail but no legs? The answer was a coin, but he answered: A sperm cell.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:17:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had quizzes each week in one of my histroy classes where it was a map and with numbers and we had to give the name of the city with regard to the number. For each one I didn't know I would just write "refer to atlas"
Not a teacher but my mum told me a story when she was in grade 3 and she was asked to say a word that is made up of two words (eg. Pineapple) and she just straight up said country
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked the class what a Producer was (in economic terms). One kid answered "something that makes its own food"
Skaryon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher once dragger us to a theater play. I fell asleep early on and no one bothered to wake me up. Afterwards she proclaimed that we had to write a review and she would grade it. I simply critiqued the few bits I saw and concluded that it was bad since it couldn't keep me awake. She accepted and gave me a good grade.
A kid who was in my class started eating while the teacher was giving his lesson. When asked as to why she was eating, she responded, "I'm hungry." The teacher shrugged and continued on with his lesson.
We were reading The Man who was Almost a Man in English class. We were told to finish the story which ends with Dave jumping on a train. The teacher expected a page, maybe a few sentences ending the story.
Me and my buddy ended up both writing 10+ pages of story where Dave entered a time warp, became a WWE Wrestler and wrestled for the world title all while still in the olden days. He wrestled in Madison Cube Garden and we pulled in our teachers from the school into the story in their alternate personas. Our World History teacher became a mix of a preacher and Kane, he was the World Champion and would force people to confess, after which he would Chokeslam them to Hell. somehow he had the Chinese serving him. Our English teacher who assigned us the paper became his apprentice, ect.
Anyway I think mine was over 10 pages, my buddy wrote something like 20.
In both of our stories, Dave wins one match with no experience, gets hired by the CEO, immediately gets challenged by the World Champion, somehow ends up at WrestleMania where he wins the Title and hugs his dad.
Anyway we turn this into our teacher who as you can imagine is like wtf is this? He actually graded the papers and returned them with corrections and questions of course about how the heck stuff was going on which we excused through the time warp we never specifically wrote into the story.
I taught English as a foreign language in Thailand. My class of 50 (yes really!) 7th grade students was particularly chatty one day in the middle of my lesson. Like my former teachers, I said to them "...are you done?" But it got lost in translation and they very adorably replied with "yes, teacher! :)" as if I were politely asking if they had finished so I may continue.
I thought it was funny but had to keep a stern face.
pmwws ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:40:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked who was the first one in the air at pearl harbor and I responded with "the Japanese"
I once told a teacher in 3rd grade that a tree was a non vertebrate living organism. I was put in special classes the next day and removed from them a week later
Special ed or special advanced? The difference is crucial cause I red it as special ed.....and was mad for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's misconduct.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:55:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An essay prompt asked, "Who is an important figure worth studying in school? Why should we study this person?"
My student proceeded to write an essay on Kevin, her crush, and why he was so interesting, funny, caring, etc. IMO, beat out the essays arguing we should study MLK because he "freed the spaces." Not joking.
I used to love those prompts. Once got 4x normal points for writing half a page on why we should change the american flag to orange yellow and I think green.
English Teacher here. This was a sentence in a short essay question, "Dr. Frankenstien went to collage to learn how to make a man or of pieces". Collage, where else? Priceless.
When I was about 15 years old we had sex ed in school. At one point, the teacher put up a drawing of the female reproductive system with some key parts marked with a number and asked us if we could name some of the marked parts.
One guy immediately raised his hand and without even waiting for the teacher to acknowledge him, blurted out: "twelve, anus!".
I was in a class that was about Native American history and culture and related stuff, and we were talking about how disease ravaged the populations as European colonists expanded across the country. Syphilis was apparently treated with mercury at the time, and the symptoms of syphilis are roughly the same as the symptoms of mercury poisoning, apparently. Predictably, this didn't end well for the native Americans. The professor ended that portion of the lecture with the statement, "The late eighteen-hundreds was not a good time to get syphilis."
The wise guy in the back of the room said, with perfect delivery, "I don't think any time is a good time to get syphilis."
In AP English during high school, my teacher was explaining metonymy and said, "Not to be confused with monotony. Which is?"
And I said, "Sex with one person."
To which he responded "That's monogamy. Which can also be monotonous." Then laughed hysterically and interrupted the freshman English class next door to tell that teacher.
A-A-V-E ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" oh you want to act up in class? Come up here and say the pledge of allegiance twice."
I I
Pledge pledge
Allegiance allegiance
To to
The the...
This is a second hand story but what a damn smart ass...
Taught a girl about fractions, comparing fractions with different numerators and denominators etc.
the quiz asks something like "which would give you the better slice of cake?"
Girl answers all the smallest fractions, says she HATES cake.
Paul: No it's the right answer even if it's not the one you want.
GG.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:31:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was in high school back then, the teacher, suspecting i copied my seatmate's answer, asked me: " Tom, why are you and Harry have the same answer, almost word for word..?" Me: " Well, Ma'am, you have the same question for all of us."
Teaching in a secondary school, boy student comes up to me and says:
Boy "Sir. She just called me an idiot sir".
Me "well if you can spell it, it isn't true"
Boy "what!?"
Me "i said if you can spell it then it isn't true"
Boy "i-d-i-o-t"
Me "well then, it isn't true"
Boy "what!?"
All the while the girl is pissing herself laughing.
Obligatory not a teacher - Playing a game in history matching meanings to words, teacher asks "Group of people that travel to opportunities elsewhere, beginning with P"
I was doing an English Language Immersion course for primary kids and the theme was Monsters. I was explaining to the kids the characteristics of what a zombie was and how it comes back to life after death. One kid asked how that was even possible and before I can say anything, another kid from the class said, it's just like Jesus. He died and rose again.
We're studying databases and the lecturer is asking about how you would specify gender in a database. I suggested that you could use a boolean value, i.e. True for one gender, False for the other.
Anyway, he starts telling this story about a trans person (guy->girl) who is meant to be getting an operation, but the hospital keep delaying it, after a few appointments and several months of waiting they get impatient, they decide to go into a bathroom and cut their genitalia off by themselves. How would we classify that in a database with a boolean value for gender?
My answer was simple: NULL
Cpete ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:26:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During French class some kid kept answering questions with only Oui, so when the teacher got annoyed and asked "Do you know any other words than Oui???" he answered Non.
Teaching ESL abroad in an immersion kindergarten, the kids have small fights and conflicts over really dumb shit. So I'd quiz them every morning on what was and wasn't a big deal. And whether they should interrupt me and class to tell me about it.
I taught the phrase "it's not a big deal."
One day two kids accidentally swap pencil cases because they're sitting next to each other. But they're 4 so one kid cries out "Rex has my pencil case!" Rex didn't even realize it. But one of the brighter kids understands Rex mistakenly grabbed the wrong case.
"It's an accident. It's not a big deal, it's a small deal!"
Another time, when I was a brand new teacher abroad I got thrust into teaching younger kids for the first time. I of course instantly lost control of the classroom. I'm trying to get the kids to be quiet when another student took mercy on me. He stood up and screamed at the top of his lungs (he's an ESL learner) "SHUT DOWN".
Teaching English to Chinese 8th graders. I asked during a Dr. Who movie clip how the Adipose left the house, meaning through what place in the house (the catflap). One kid said "By foot."
My college anatomy professor once asked on an exam "Which muscle turns the head?" The answer he was looking for was 'sternocleidomastoid', but one student answered 'gluteus maximus'. My professor says he thought about it for a bit, laughed out loud at his desk, and gave the student full credit.
My friend is an English teacher, and the class (16 year olds) had juts finished reading Of Mice and Men. He poses this:
The answer is Curley. What is the question?
So he's looking for something like 'Who attacks Lennie?', or 'Who is the boss's son?'. Anything where the answer is Curley.
One kid puts his hand up, brain working furiously, and says
"Is it.... who is Curley?"
I used to teach 7th grade english. I showed my students a picture of kids playing in a park. I asked them "what doesnt belong in this picture". One student stood up and said "the gorilla". The "gorilla" was a black child and the focal point of the picture. He was 100% sure he was right.
In a 5th grade class the book we were reading referred to a ship as "she". The teacher asked, "Why is it calling the ship a girl?" A student responded with, "My dad says everything you ride is a girl."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:50:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach government, so Sometimes I'll start class with a simple "So what did we talk about yesterday?" And sometimes my response back will be, "we talked about the US government"
Well yeah you little shit can you be more specific
kiamo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English in China. "What does creativity mean?" Kid pipes up and in all seriousness answers "trouble".
In 8th grade English we had to give speeches and people were freaking out about it. My English teacher was the same from 6-8 grade and she said, "I know you guys are worried but everyone is going to have to speak to people at some point in their life." Being a bit of a smart ass my hand shot up into the air and before it hand even reached full extension the teacher said, "Yes, Kyle...Even mimes." I just put my hand down and gave her a look like, "ok you win this one teacher lady."
I was talking to a bunch of Middle schoolers about Mother Theresa and noticed that the majority of them had a puzzled look on their face. So I asked,"Do you all know who Mother Theresa is?" When a kid replied,"Is that the Octomom?" SMH
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:28 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher but from tutoring, a girl showed me her health test. It had a question, "What might cause people to drink?" correct answers were things like: peer pressure, ect. She wrote 'losing family.' She didn't get the mark for it.
In my AP Chemistry class last year for the final exam and, being the "good" kid I was, 100% totally studied there is no way that I didn't. There was an entire portion on who made such and such discoveries about atoms and all that jazz.
I had no clue what any of the answers were, so, for all twenty responses, scribbled in: "A dead white dude".
The teacher gave me credit for fifteen of them, I got an 83% on the final.
TL;DR: Dead white dudes on AP Chem exam.
Aslonz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:38:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But when I was in high school i had a french teacher who used to treat us like 1st graders. Anyway, i wasnt a fan of her. She asked me to come up to the board and translate a sentence. I translated the sentence to spanish.
I sat down. She didnt say anything to me and moved on to the next one. Kids in the class loled. She didnt call on me for the rest of the semester.
I am a teacher, but my favorite moment was with my own kid. She was maybe three and learning to count. She also loved Thomas the Tank Engine. So she had built a really long train, and I got her to start counting the cars, which she did from the back. She got to the car next to the engine and said, "sixteen". I asked her what came after sixteen. She looked at me, looked at the train, looked back at me and said, "Edward".
My daughter was doing math homework concerning area and perimeter. The story problem was about redoing the floor in a room. They wanted to know how many tiles, and how much baseboard to use. I had her subtract 3 feet from the perimiter, and she put that answer down, along with the explanation that you don't put baseboard over the entry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You actually use the imperial (impractical, more like!) system in your maths problems?
My dad's a fifth grade teacher, and recently a kid turned in a spelling test where he answered the question: Use the word "abbreviate" in a sentence, with "I do not know how to use abbreviate in a sentence."
Grade 7, this girl was constantly disrupting the class. Teacher points and says: Take the door! (not in English) and without missing a beat she gets up, looks at the door, turns to him and says: Got a screwdriver?
luisa77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student teacher for a 6th grade history class and I asked the students what the European settlers brought to Native Americans and someone said "disease".
One time I was THAT student in about 2nd grade. My teacher was teaching us about the forest and the animals that inhabited it. She told us that male deer are called "bucks" and then asked if anyone knew what female deers were called to which I responded "a buck fifty"
Not an answer, but a hilarious comment. I was teaching 7th graders how to write a Resume as part career ed, part how to use some features of Word.
We talked about how employers look for community service. A kid asked 'Mr. Thehogdog, what if the judge orders you to community service, can you put that on your resume?' I told him, Panlo, if the judge orders you to community service, you probably won't need a resume to get the kind of jobs available to you.
That was nothing! In the same class period a girl said "Everyone goes to jail once, right?" to which I replied "NO, Everyone does not go to jail at least once in their life". She then responded "Juvi?" and I again chastised her that "NO, everyone does not go to Juvi at least once in their life".
I've only recently been exposed to the criminal justice system (I have prisoner pen pals,I didn't do anything or anything). And it's crazy to me how people can have such wildly different experiences. Like, before this the criminal justice system had no impact on me at all. Never knew anyone that had gone in, never even knew anyone that had issues with police...didn't even think about it. And it's the polar opposite for this girl. That's crazy. And sad.
Agreed. I had them write letters in the business style about what they did over Thanksgiving or Christmas break and I would get 5 or 6 each time that I had to take to the school psychologist.
Not a teacher, but when my nephew was 7, the teacher was asking the class what comes after November? When no one knew, there was an emphasis on "NO-vember". My nephew answered, "Yesvember".
My ex-wife told me this one. She was in college at the time, I don't recall what class it was. The professor started comparing the amount of glucose in semen to that of a cube of sugar. A girl in the class suddenly blurted out, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" The professor responded with, "Because there are no taste buds in the back of your throat." The girl's face turned beet red, and she never showed up again. She apparently dropped the class out of embarrassment.
Not a teacher, but a comment I made in biology class. The teacher used "dots" against you if you were talking during class or whatnot, and you could get them erased for good grades and the like. Dots didn't count against your grade, they just kept you in line.
My biology teacher was teaching us about vegetarians, And told us about the different types. Used examples like "there are vegetarians that don't eat meat but eat dairy, and vegetarians that don't eat meat but still eat eggs..." and so on. Then he said "and there are vegetarians that don't eat anything with a head" to which I raised my hand and asked "what about a head of lettuce?"
He looked at me for a minute and then erased all of my for the week. Wittiest thing I have ever said and that was 14 years ago...
Not a question/answer, but an exchange. It was a warm day, the kids had come into math together, most from PE (6th grade/ middle school), and they all started to complain about how hot it was getting. I had no control of the thermostat, so I was saying it just felt hot because they had been outside running around. I said, "It's hot in here because of all of your hot little bodies."
One 6th grade boy, a little mature for his age, lifted an eyebrow and said, "Well, thank you."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:45:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked one of my students to make me a coffee. They were new, so I asked them if they knew how I liked it.
Was the student in the scenario, but this was History class, High school. I was a top notch history student but goofed off sometimes so I was doing wierd voices with my friends. Teach asks a Question about the causes of WW II and picks on me to answer.
Completely forgetting to switch to my normal voice I, a big bearded deep voiced guy, answer in this really high pitched voice talking about the punitive measures taken by the Victor's of WWI. He dead stares at me for 5 seconds before deciding to pretend I answered normally.
wolf13i ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but from a friends class.
Teacher placing a stool on the table: "Right lads," (fully male class) "I'm going to let you take off early today." suddenly the room is so silent you could hear a pin drop as everyone is giving teach their full attention. "but before you go, you have to write me a short paper disproving that this chair exists. Once you have finished it, please pass it to me, if it is passable you may leave, if not you have another go. Simple. Ready? Start."
Not even a full minute later a student walks to the front of the class and passes a sheet of paper to the teacher. After staring at the paper far longer than it took the student to write it the teacher simply said "Go, but you are not getting away with that one again."
When asked by others what he'd done the teacher showed my friend the sheet. Simply written was: "What Chair?"
I was at a doctor's office to get shots before I left for a missions trip to Peru. The doctor asks me "What's bringing you to Peru?" I said to her "An airplane." She didn't even know how to take that. I don't think she recognized the fact that I was making a joke.
Not a teacher but back in high school in a data management class we were learning about probability. An example would be: "determine the probability of 5 coins landing all tails". Being a smart ass, he would raise his hand and go, "50/50 sir. It either happens or it doesn't". I loved that class.
He's right about the "it either happens or it doesn't" part, but just because you're dealing with a binomial distribution doesn't mean that every probability is 50/50. Now, if the question said, "Four coins were flipped, and all landed on tails. A fifth coin is flipped. What are the odds it is tails?" then he would be right.
I am still salty about a time in 3rd grade when we were taking a test about reading maps. One question was, "What is on the side of the library?"" One side had a house and one side was empty. I decided the best answer was nothing. Teacher counted it as incorrect.
Not a teacher, but in college, I had a professor who did beekeeping as a hobby. One day he was talking about it and asked if anyone knew how the bees choose their queen. My buddy instantly says, "Divine right?"
In my European History class, the teacher said that the only word pronounced differently when capitalized was polish. A girl in the class blurted out "What about China?"
Not a teacher but one day in high school my English teacher got fed up with people talking and class and yelled "Why do I hear noise", To which my friend replied 'Because you have ears'. The whole class started laughing and the teacher seemed pretty amused with it too.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:04 on May 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me of when I was in a history class with a teacher who was fed up with a miserable cold and runny nose. Out loud to the class, he asked, 'Why do we even have noses anyhow?!'
I immediately responded with, 'So you have somewhere to put your glasses.' While the class was laughing, he replied that that joke was something George Carlin would have said. To date it's the best (perhaps only?) compliment I've ever received on my comedic skills.
Not a teacher, but a witness. My government teacher in high school was talking about the names for people based on what state they're from (people from Texas are called Texans, people from California are Californians, etc). I don't remember why he was doing this. Well, when he got to Utah, he was stumped. He had no idea what people from. Utah are called. So the girl that state next to me said "Mormons"
I wasn't the teacher, but a teacher I know was teaching her students cardinal directions (North South East West ). They were coming up with pneumonic devices (i.e. Never Eat Soggy Waffles) to remember them. One student said, "Never Ever Smoke Weed."
Edit: wanted to add this was a 9 year old in a wealthy, white suburb for context
One test question asked students to split a circle evenly and then asked what do you make when you do that. The answer was fourths but one student wrote pizza. I may have given them credit, he was in first grade so it made sense and the test was awfully written from start to finish.
So I work in China, and I tutor my boss's son in English. We were reviewing the months of the year and I asked him how to say February. Instead of saying "February" he spelled out the abbreviation, "f-e-b-dot".
I'm a little late to reach this post, but here it is anyway. I was teaching a summer cooking class to 8- 12 year olds, and I was covering chocolate terms. I asked, "who knows what it means if chocolate is tempered?" Nobody knew, but this little girl, who was 7 (her mother talked is into letting her in because of how much she loves cooking) raised her hand and said with a huge smile, "um, it means the chocolate is really angry." I died laughing
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I have posted this before.
My history teacher asked us to write an answer in "our own language", and I decided to write the answer in Hindi. She was not amused at all.
Not a teacher, but the student. My computer science teacher had a question on a test where we had to write a line of code to get a substring, but without using the number 13 (because that was the relevant index). With me being a smartass, I put 12 + 1, and got the question right.
I asked my students from my business english class to use the word "feature" in a sentence.
"One feature of dogs is that they have four legs."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When talking about the Police and people wanting the cops to stay away because they think they are out to get them. If the cops stop caring about the area, and refuse to show up, people will then complain that the Police won't help them.
A student said "So, like on Family Guy when Peter Griffin sued the doctor over the prostate exam, and then when he really needed one, he couldn't get one because they thought they'd be sued?"
Future teacher but this is about my brother. My mom once asked my brother what shape his room was in, as in did he clean it or not. He just looked at her for a few seconds and then said "A rectangle".
I was a student at the time but I am forever proud of this answer. We were playing some game where you have to shout answers and the question was "what's something that shows you've done something?" and my middle school mind went right to "Pregnancy test!" the look on my teachers face was priceless as she registered what I had said and started laughing just as hard as the kids around me. I miss her so much. I hope you're doing well Mrs. Martinez.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade math teacher here.
Our school pushes writing skills across all subjects. To get my students use to constructive response, I introduced them to ELI5 idea by having them explain very simple math questions. One question was to explain how 5-2=3 in complete sentences only.
The best response by far, "Say you get 5 presents for Christmas. Your dad takes 2 away on his way out and never returns. How many presents are left?"
Teaching human anatomy lab and for some questions they had to identify a body part and list one function: "Vagina; to sheathe the penis."
Telope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...
My music teacher was teaching us about Sonata form. The first section of the form is called the Exposition, and he was trying to get us to relate it to its non-musical meaning.
A long time ago, our teacher was going through asking each student what animal they'd want to be and why, one of my classmates says "lion, because I'd get to sleep around everyday and get fed by all my lioness'". I think there might've been a comment about the sex too, but I can't recall lol
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the 'sleep around' part was the comment about sex.
Obligatory not a teacher message, but one time my social studies teacher was putting people into four groups to do projects and two of the class troublemakers joined the same group (they didn't actually get numbered that way, one of them switched with someone else).
The teacher asked them "Okay, what are the odds I put you two together?"
He responds "1 in 4?"
She just shakes her head and laughs and let them stay in the group together.
My sister once had a homework question "name and draw four birds which can't fly". She answered "penguin, emu, ostrich, dead bird", complete with artistic renderings.
Not a teacher, but in 7th grade our math teacher caught my friend sleeping through a lesson on Pi. He threw a dry erase marker at him to wake him up and asked him "What do we always use with pi?" (meaning, of course 3.14)
My buddy, pissed about having a marker thrown at him, looks him in the eye and says "I don't know. A fork?"
He got kicked out of class for the rest ofthe day.
susono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's right, that looks dope as shit
xDomox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a house with 8 disabled kids.
One day I was with 2 kids in the bathroom to make them ready for the night.
So while I was washing 1 kid in a wheelchair, I told the other kid who got autism to "flush" (his mouth) when hes done with brushing his teeth.
2-3min later he flushed the toilet...
(sorry about my english, hope the translation works)
This was at a kid's party. For one of the games, 2 teams of 6 players were given letter cards that they would hold up to spell a certain word. I got the letter L. So the clowns would ask questions and we'll spell out the answer. As a tie-breaker question, the clowns tried to be funny by asking how many dwarves were there in the snow white story. No one had the letters to spell out 'seven' so it was really just supposed to be a joke question. But I stepped up and held out my card upside-down. They didn't count it as it was just supposed to be a joke but the people watching enjoyed it anyway. Try this out on your students and see if anyone does it!
Not a teacher, but I got a call from her.
When my son was in 3rd or 4th grade, they were studying English. The teacher asked them to write a sentence using an action verb.
My son wrote, " We robbed a bank in Santa Monica, bought a Caddy and a gold harmonica." When the teacher called me she was freaking out. I busted out laughing. It was a lyric from Dada's CD, Puzzle, which was getting a lot of play in my house at the time.
I used to teach English in Sweden. This wasn't one of my students, but I heard about if from a colleague. The phrase the student had to translate was "Han tรคnder ljuset", which means "He turns on the light". Unfortunately, "tรคnder" is a homonym which can also mean "teeth", so this kid wrote "he teeth the light"...which while completely nonsensical, is a literal translation of the sentence.
Witnesses a teacher with an accent teaching electronics. After saying it a couple of times he asked a student a question which started with the mispronounced: "In this example when can see 10 killer wasps..." In which the kid dived under the table, screaming and most of his friends followed suit! Desks went flying everywhere and the kids went nuts. Funniest reaction I've seen in a long time.
In high school chemistry we were learning about chemical bonds. One kid asks:
"Which is the strongest bond?"
The guy sitting next to me turns to me and straightfaced says:
"Love."
I took a class in the ancient Greek language, and on one of the midterms we had a bonus question that said something like "What's the biggest thing you've learned so far in Greek?" My professor shared with us that one person answered "humility".
I was a student when a kid in my class had an answer for "What is a saturated fat?" He wrote, "It's when a fat is so filled with fattiness it can't get any fatter."
The teacher paused and thought about it and said he'd give it to him.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher, but fellow student here.
The question was 'Where was the state contract signed?' (Austria).
Instead of 'Vienna' he answered 'On the bottom right hand side of the page'
My history teacher in senior year once asked us if we knew what the long, van shaped car that old people rode around in was. You know - the bus that picks people up to go to the senior center.
I didn't know. So, instead, I pop my head up off of my desk and ask "Oh, you mean a hearse?".
He did not mean a hearse. And I was still technically correct.
This is opposite for me. I was in grade 12 and in shop class. I was making a table and we had to do the sketches first. I brought it up to the teacher(male, it's important. Myself female) he then asked me what my measurements were. I've never seen a teacher go so red before. We had a good laugh about it. He was a great teacher
Not a teacher but my baby brother (probably 7 or 8?) was asking if we could watch a movie. Mom was like "sure, bud, what do you want to watch?" And we start flipped through our movies.
He finds a movie, looks confused, and holds it up to show my mom. "Halloween H2O? What, does he kill them with water?"
Not necessarily right but an extremely intelligent thing to say at his age with his developmental issues!
One of my daughter's first tests was a sheet with many simple words on it, like dog, one, cat, car, three, etc. The instructions were to color every number word purple. When she brought it home the entire page was colored purple. She got them all, I guess.
Not a teacher, but I heard one of my teachers give one of her students full credit on an essay about compromise. It had to be at least 5 paragraphs. She only wanted to do 3 paragraphs. She decided to meet in the middle and do 4 paragraphs.
I was the student. In an 11th grade additional maths test, we were asked to find the equationย of a tangent line that passes through aย curveย at a point. We were supposed to find the derivative and then substitute the coordinates of that point. I found out the curve actually doesn't pass through that point, so I crossed out my steps and provided the proof to that and wrote down 'since the curve doesn't pass through that point, there is no tangent'.
I don't even remember the question, but I let students talk to their elbow partners (whoever is next to the student) before raising their hands. Usually gets students more engaged.
So a student in the back was starting to goof off a little, So I asked him how he was doing with the question. I'm sitting in the front with the desk camera showing the question, so he yells back "IM TALKING WITH MY ELBOW PARTNER!!"
Mind you his partner was absent.
So, I ask him what his elbow partner said (just for the fun of it). You know what he does? Slap the chair next to him and yell "HEY ELBOW PARTNER WHAT DID YOU SAY????" I died laughing that day.
Not a teacher but this is back when I was still a student. My english teacher asked "Give a sample of a complete sentence." I answered "This is a sentence."
On a chemistry quiz, the question was "If you were to add Thing A to Thing B under Condition C, what do you think would happen?" It was multiple choice, but I had no clue. I circled one answer and wrote underneath: "I have no idea if this is what would ACTUALLY happen, but it's what I THINK would happen. I have no idea why."
I happened to guess correctly and the professor gave me credit, then wrote in the explanation of why it was the right answer.
In my 4th language arts class, the kids had to write the meaning of piece of figurative language.
Figurative language - "This computer is a dinosaur"
Boys answer - "This computer is awesome!"
Nuck_7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology class grade 11.
After learning about the female anatomy,
teacher asks, any questions?
So I decide to break the ice by raisin my hand,
"Where is the clitoris?"
The entire class couldn't stop laughing for a good
15 minutes.
I never got a response.
So I'm a student but we were cover the basics of computer science and the question asked "write a string says what the sum of 2 randomly received integers was." Me being a smart ass wrote "what the sum of 2 randomly received integers was" unamused teacher sent me out of class.
Not a teacher but when I was in 5th grade it was the first day of fall and our English teacher told us to "Write everything you know about Autumn", this kid raised his hand and asked "What if we don't know her very well?" ..... My name is Autumn and he was my crush.
The teacher let him know we were doing reports on the season and not a specific classmate.
My mom tells EVERYONE this story 15+ years later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching an ESL class today, and we were practicing the sentence structure "whose ______ is this?" One student asked, "whose fleshlight is this?" (she meant flashlight).
Her sentence was technically accurate, although her pronunciation significantly altered the intending meaning.
I am not a teacher but during my senior year in high school in my calculus class the teacher had asked me for the solution to the problem on the board. I had spent the previous half an hour talking to my buddy next to me. Before I could answer the girl next to me shouted out the answer. However, I was still not paying attention so I answered, "That" referring to the girls answer. The teacher replied, "what is that", I responded "well in that context I believe it was used as a determiner". For whatever reason this teacher completely ate that shit up and chuckled the remaining of the class. He had a profound respect for me following this odd occurrence. Bumped up my letter grade for shits and giggles at the end of the quarter too. Made an account to tell this story. Just a shitty student who payed attention in english but not math.
I had labeled a kelp specimen with a pin in the "holdfast". Student wrote "holdfart". I gave him full credit and said nice joke to him or something, and he said, "No joke. I guess I just had something else on my mind."
9th Grade. We were studying a chapter on Gandhi. A classmate wasn't paying attention. The teacher asked him, "Who was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi's father?"
The kid answered very confidently - "Mr. Gandhi"
fun51ze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in special ed. There has been repeated acts of vandalism in the grade 4/5 girls bathroom. One one of the girls who was suspected and accused was a student I work with.
"It couldn't have been me" she contended. "I can't even spell"
I was suspicious myself, but she completely convinced me with her argument.
I was technically just a student assistant, but still.
Correcting students Java programs when one of them raised their hands way too quickly. They were supposed to implement a dice object and "cheat" one of them into showing a six. They had written the following code:
Dice x = new Dice();
x.roll();
int x = 6;
I was a student in a special school for a while and when asked why Pluto was being debated for its planetary status, a girl said, "it's being voted off the island, right?"
Not a teacher, but when I was a kid one of my teachers asked about morphological derivations of the word "adult", and I said "adultery". The class started laughing but that wasn't my intention. Still the teacher gave me a weird look and expelled me from the classroom.
About ten years later, a friend told me that this teacher got fired after having been caught making out with the lady janitor. This guy was a priest, it was a Catholic school. Last thing I know, he's married to that woman and has two kids, I shit you not
"Like love for example. Love is noun but you can't touch love"
One little boy turned to the girl next to him with misty eyes and gently reached out his hand and stroked her cheek, then turned to me and whispered "Yes you can!"
At the back another child yelled "Yeah, but you can MAKE love"
7 year olds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. I'm turning 17 and I remember many of my coevals were like this back a decade ago.
Not a teacher but an Athletic Trainer at a high school. A cheerleader sprained her ankle and just as I was walking her out with her mom to her car I asked her if she remembered what she needed to do tonight to take care of it.
And she said, "Don't worry, I got this, you gotta RICE it. Rest, ice, compress, and levitate."
Swordsx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Used to teach kids at a local marine science center. We were doing a camoflague exercise to show adaptations, and kid drew his fish all black and placed on the black mom. The whole room was nervously laughing about how clever this was, but also waiting to see if she would react. She laughed about it and the tension went away. Kid never realized the implications of what he did.
R3boot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary school i was told to unscramble the following words.
orhes: horse
tca: cat
otag: goat
odg: god
I got full marks.
amm3490 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In senior year of hs economics we were given a hw assignment where we needed to look up a couple careers for ourselves on some government website and write why we wanted to go into them. Now, this is a teacher who is very vocal about being a conservative republican and we always butt heads when it came down to talking about the upcoming 2008 elections. I come into class the next day empty handed and the following is the conversation I had with my teacher:
Me: Teacher, I couldn't do my assignment because they didn't have my future career interests listed.
Teacher: Oh yeah, and what would those be, Miss?
Me: Housewife and/or hooker.
Teacher: (proceeds to laugh hysterically) I didn't know you could be so funny!!!
I never got lower than a B on any assignment in that class after that, not even when I didn't turn in an assignment or missed an exam for any reason.
Reggro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in an economics a-level class, we were discussing externalities and pollution, shit like that. The teacher was talking about the harm of fly-tipping and says "class, who might fly tip?".
The answer he was looking for was 'firms'. Instead, from the back of the room someone just yells out "GYPPOS". The teacher laughed a bit before going "No, the answer is not gyppos. I was looking for firms. Please, for the love of God, don't write gyppos on your exam".
Pjoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ethics class, "Why do we use mice instead of people for medical experiments?"
"Can you imagine how expensive it'd be to grow Chinese just for medical experiments? 9 month pregnancy, small litter size..."
djashar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 6th grade we had a test in biology. One of the questions was: "What is a place where amphibians don't live?"
Well, the teacher obviously wanted an answer like, "the desert", "somewhere without water", etc, which most of the students in my class wrote.
However, this one girl wrote "on the moon". And because it's not technically wrong, she got the point.
Maths teacher is going through register asking which of our parents will be attending Parents Evening.
Teacher: Liam, does your mum have the same name as you?
Liam: No- she's called Marjorie.
Took a good 15 minutes for the class to calm down. Got a smile out of the usually strict teacher too.
EDS123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well here's a funny response - I was teaching cell biology to 16 year olds, and I told them that the sperm cell is the smallest cell in the male body. A girl asked, what's the smallest cell in the female body, and one of the other kids shouted out, well that would of course be the sperm cell. There was a bit of a pause and then she was like, oh right. I get it.
Back from my days in a private, all girls catholic school. This was in a non-english speaking country and at least half my class were posh little heiresses (and the rest nicely brought up middle class).
At that stage we had a young Scottish lass to sit in during class as part of her teacher training. During an English lesson, we were learning male and female versions of animals and each girl had to give one example - lion, lioness; tiger, tigress; and the next wee girl said: dog and bitch. Cue from our teacher to make us aware that bitch is a very bad word when said to a lady and we should say girl dog or she dog to be on the safe side. The next girl raises her hand and says: cock and hen. The young teacher and I laughed out loud, the teacher blushed and glared at us, the other nice girls looked confused.
Biology paper. The question was something along the lines of "Name a part of the body which is adapted to it's purpose by having a large surface area." They were looking for answers like alveoli in the lungs, or the lining of the small intestine. One kid put "feet". He wasn't wrong.
Edit: took a bit of a grammar shit when writing this.
On a maths paper with the question.
Tom and Dave play a game with a six sided spinner. Tom spins the spinner 200 times. these are the results.
1 - 30 2 - 32 3 - 59 4 - 31 5 - 28 6 - 20
Is this fair?
he replied 'No, he didn't let Dave have a go'
This is an anecdote from my High School science teacher. He asked in an exam how could you keep milk fresh, expecting people to answer "Keeping it cold, in the fridge".
One of his students answered "Keep it in the cow."
Tutor, not a teacher.
I was working with a bright seventh-grader on his take-home geometry work. One question asked for the perimeter of a diagrammed triangle, but only two sides of the triangle were labelled. He had no idea how to answer the question.
It happened to be a right triangle, so I told him that while I was absolutely positive it wasn't the method his teacher intended him to use I could show him a way to find the missing side. We spent half an hour on the Pythagoras Theorem and he loved it.
The next time I saw him I asked how he'd done. The teacher had given him full marks but was bewildered that my student had used an algebraic theorem to solve a simple addition problem. (They hadn't even covered exponents yet.) Apparently the class was supposed to find the length of the missing side of the triangle by... literally measuring it with a ruler.
The student and I agreed our way was better.
Question: What changes could you implement to make the heating device more efficient at increasing the temperature of the water?
Answer: Heat the water during the day so the warmth from the sun also contributes to heating the water
In year 4, we were asked the question "What gets bigger the more you take away?", so I answered "Minus numbers".
Would've got a prize for it, too, if it weren't for my classmate copying me and saying she wrote it down as well so that none of us got prizes. Kniveling bastard...
I remember very vividly in grade 4 we had just learned decimals and then we were on to multiplication. On this 20 question test I actually did all the math reading the question number and first number as decimals. So the questions looked something like this 1.12
X 31
(I'm doing this on mobile so it probably looks stupid.)
Anyway.. I remember being last to finish which bothered me becuase I'm very good at math. Then the teacher handed back the test with a big 0% on it with a "see me after class". I was almost in tears. After class the teacher asked me to do a question and when she saw what I was doing she laughed so hard. I laughed too not knowing what was up. She explained it to me then pulled out a calculator to give me a proper grade. I think I got like an 80 on the test even doing math way outside of what we were supposed to be doing.
I was teaching kindergarten last year and all the kids were sitting in the carpet area for their morning lesson. We were going over the letter X: how to write it, the sound it makes, and what words they knew with the letter X and I would write it out on the board for them to see.
Me: "What words have sound like X?"
Kid 1: "BOX!"
Kid 2: "SEX!"
<some students giggle>
Me: "Well yeah it has the X sound...but that's not a word we're going to use ok?"
English Teacher in Japan. Got a message from a student that he couldn't come to class because he had broken his foot fingers playing soccer.
emuulay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher." In high school, we had an amazing chem professor who liked to joke and have fun. He never called his exams "tests"; they were known as "opportunity packets." He would ask us "to print your name at the top, fill in what you know and sign your name at the bottom," and that would automatically give us the opportunity to make an A.
Once a student printed his name at the top, wrote "I know that 2+2=4", wrote a proof for that, signed his name and turned it in. The teacher legitimately gave him a C because he followed directions and wasn't technically wrong; also, no one had ever had the gumption to try that with him before in his 32 years of teaching. He made sure to reword his directions after that.
Back in school we had an electrical/systems type class. One of the questions on a test was "What is a transformer?" Most people answered with "A robot in disguise"
Student here. When I was in high school, for biology we dissected a fetal pig. On the test we had afterwords one of the questions was something like "why do the lungs not function properly" and I simply wrote "it's dead." Got the mark.
English pronunciation class practicing Ls--
Me: (IIRC) "What do you like most about Los Angeles?"
Korean guy: "Los Angeles has many beautiful bitches."
Me: falls on the floor laughing "Well, yes, yes that's true, but I think you mean beaches."
Tomorrow's lesson: long e vs. short i
My fiancรฉ is an environmental educator and was teaching 6th graders yesterday and gave them a prequiz to make sure they did the required reading before teaching the lesson. One question was, "What are three major threats to wildlife in our state?"
One kid answered "Other Animals, Hunting, and Trump."
Not sure if this makes the grade (pun intended) but I took a materials science class in college and the professor began talking about crevice corrosion. I turned to the girl next to me, the only one in our class, and asked if she ever experienced crevice corrosion. The professor heard me and immediately left the room. He was out in the hallway laughing his ass off.
I had a student once that answered the following question 64/16. You were supposed to show your work. He crossed out both of the 6's and that left 4/1 = 4. Technically right, but....
Clorpet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:23:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dissection of worms. Should have been dead worms. They weren't. Lecturer said let's just put their heads in boiling water. Kid responded by saying "Nup"". Fuck that". Didn't submit. Received an A.
I'm only 16 but I was teaching rifle shooting at a Boy Scout camp, I asked my students how to unload a rifle. I picked a student after he raised his hand, he said "look downrange and unload that motherfucker like it's fully automatic". Even I was dying of laughter for a good five minutes.
Fifth grade teacher here. During my first year teaching, I was reading the book Holes aloud to my students. They would all sit on the carpet and I'd do my best voices as I read and every once and awhile I'd ask them a question about the text. Well, there's a line in the book that says "his muscles and hands weren't the only parts of his body that had toughened over the past several weeks. His heart had hardened as well." I stopped to ask my students what they thought about the figurative language used to describe his heart. A little girl in front with these big, innocent brown eyes raises her hand and says, "Well, I think it means that he's not a pussy anymore." My job dropped. I knew this was a defining moment for me, as I could either laugh at the honest and inappropriate answer or correct her. I ended up saying "uh, well, we don't use that word, but you're right, he's not as tough as he was before." And that was that.
Students were expressing concern about a possible WW3. When I said "it will be okay, people are being dramatic. What specifically are you worried about?"
Student: you made us do the stupid World War One unit, then the World War Two unit, and I'll die if I have to do a world war three unit!! I hate wars!
Teaching how to write for the first grade students in primary school and told them to fill the one page in the notebook with 'A' letter.
One student wrote just one giant 'A' which covered the whole page.
srosing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was doing research on a high school class for her degree in science education. She gave the students a questionaire including the question "Of everything you learned in High School what do you think will be most important in your life".
One student put down "Seducing women"
kay310 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:40:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade History: Early men wore leaves to cover their main point.
I feel like this would blend in well with this askreddit, as it's a miscommunication at school.
In HS I was a blah student. By that I mean I wan't hated or picked on and I wasn't the most popular of students. I was well liked by everyone and a tutor to A LOT of students in Algebra/Trig/Calc.
One day when I was supposed to tutor I forgot and boarded my bus home. I was the lucky last kid off in the afternoons and first kid on in the mornings kid. So I always got the last seat on the bus. I realized my mistake 2 blocks away from school, so I stood up and asked the driver "Can you let me back off?". She slammed on the break, got up, marched all the way to the back of the bus, put her finger in my face and said "You're not to say another word, you sit down and shut up." Some kids were laughing but most of us were trying to figure out what her problem was. Since I was the last one off, she got to exchange some words, she got really heated. I just stayed quiet as I don't like confrontation. She ended with "I will never let you back on this bus and I will be talking with your parents tomorrow".
The next day my grandmother let me drive to school, I was old enough and had a license. Finally in the last hour of school I was called to the office. I enter and I see my grandmother and bus driver sitting with the assistant principle. I said hello to all three and sat down (I was always cordial around the HS staff). The bus driver started with "You want to tell your grandmother what you said to me yesterday"? I told the bus driver that I already explained to my grandmother that I didn't know what the problem was exactly I'm here to figure this out. The bus driver shouted really hatefully "Can you let me jack off?". I was floored. My grandmothers mouth hit her lap, and the assistant principles eyes got HUGE as he turned to look at me. He saw the shock in my face, as I turned back to him. I told him I said "Could you let me back off" less then two blocks away from school. I asked him "Could you please confirm that I am a student tutor? Could you please call [Mrs. Tutor] and ask if I showed up yesterday and if I was supposed too?" He did both as I turned and saw the look of horror in the bus drivers face. When he got off the phone with the teacher he turned and apologized to my grandmother. For having her come out to school and missing work, and for the horrible thing that was said. He looked at me and said "You will not be on bus suspension". He excused us from his office and said "[Mooretec], when you leave could you please shut the door." She was still in there with him. I went back to class after giving my grandmother a kiss and hug. I drove back home after class and when I got home my grandmother said I could drive from now on if I wanted. I told her I did but tomorrow I want to ride the bus. She nodded then said to me "I could see you saying that. . . " I laughed.
The next morning since I was the first kid on the bus. She could talk to me freely-- she said "I am supposed to apologize to you." I said "That is not an apology, but don't worry about it, I'll drive from now on".
Again not completely related but I thought it fit well.
I'm a special education teacher so I have plenty of stories in this area but one that sticks out in my mind...
I was working with a student with autism who was very bright. I supported him in his World History class. We were studying feudalism and the middle ages and running a pretty fun simulation with a King/Queen of the class, Lords, Vassals, the whole nine yards. For most of the simulation my student did great and played along, pointing out minimal times how none of this was real. Finally at one point he was told by the teacher to turn and bow to his king and queen. The student, totally seriously, responded, "Mr. Cptben94, I bow to no man!" I exclaimed, "but Student, you'll be beheaded." His response after he winked at me, "I've lived a full life, if it must be done for the good of the realm, let it be done!" It was fantastic!
UBKUBK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:49:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Global warming is the cause of the earth's rising temperature"
My teacher always tells the story of when a student was late and knocked on the door, she slipped a note there the door that said, "why are you late?" And a pencil to respond with. A couple seconds later the note comes back with, "A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." Needless to say, our teacher wasn't mad and let him in.
Not a teacher, but the best one I heard was what the technical term was for the man who operates the gas. It should have been gasfitter (am Dutch) but one of our classmates wrote Hitler. The teacher chuckled and gave him full points for the question
My son had to write an essay because he dug a hole in the sand in the school yard and convinced kindergarteners to piss in it.
He had to answer questions like "What did you do? Was it ok?", etc.
The last question was "What would happen if every student did what you did?"
His reply: The Principal's office would be filled to the roof.
I couldn't keep a straight face that time
I worked with adults with mental disabilities. We were playing a Jeopardy-style trivia game and the question was, "What is the name for a baby chicken?"
One guy thought about it for a second and answered, "An egg." I gave him the points.
My dad was a teacher. He was teaching 6th grade when I was in high school and he paid me to grade papers occasionally. I was grading a book report that had been written by one of the stupidest students my dad ever had the privilege to teach (when asked in science class why Plains City, Nebraska was consistently warmer than Mountain City, Colorado despite the fact that they were on the same parallel, he replied that Nebraska was farther east and therefore closer to the sun). Anyway, I'm grading this book report.
Q: What images did you see as you read this story.
S: I didn't look at any of the pictures, I just read.
Grade ~3 I had a test ask me to divide s pizza into 7 pieces for myself and my 6 guests. Did not want to figure it out so I cut it in 8 and wrote "Save 1 piece in the fridge for later."
I knew it was wrong I just didn't need the points badly enough to try, wasn't even really trying to be a smart ass. But my teacher loved it so much I got a half point and she showed my parents later. They loved it so much it still comes up sometimes.
myogawa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this one, from my childhood some five decades ago. Most likely apocryphal but still an excellent story.
The teacher asked the class to write "a short essay on South America."
Bobby turned in his sheet and left. On it he had written:
"SA"
jmgs000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:24:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. 6th grade science class. Test said describe genes and I hadn't a clue so I described jeans and she gave me credit
In a second grade class we were discussing contractions...as in combining words together (it is to it's etc) and when I asked if anyone knew what the word contraction meant a kid enthusiastically raised his hand and said "yeah, my mom has those every time she has a kid!"
This is my own story but back in Health class when talking about women and their menstrual cycles, a question said "Why do women bleed once a month" and I responded "Because they got injured"
During technology class we were learning about how to place parts into a computer. The teacher asked "how do you remove the dust off the components?" I student yelled out "rub it on the carpet."
My best answer was when I was student teaching. We were going overt major players in the civil war and got to Abraham Lincoln. When I asked what people knew about him the most timid Asian girl raised her hand and belted out, "he was a vampire hunter." Thanks Hollywood.
My wife was teaching in a juvenile corrections facility having a discussion on if teachers should be allowed to do room and body searches for contraband. Some students had thoughtful answers like, "If they aren't trained they might hurt us by mistake or not know what they are looking for." Etc.
One kid in the back seems to be deep in thought so my wife asks what's on his mind. His response was intended to be serious and not intentionally vulgar.
"I don't know mam. How hard could it be to search a girl? You just spread the lips and look."
Credit to my wife for keeping her composure and giving a brief explanation on how it's just not that easy.
I was presenting a class using Sphero robots, when the kids had navigated the obstacles on the floor and reached the 'treasure chest' at the end, touching the ball to the chest, they got a gold coin from the chest.
All of my learners have learning difficulties and this was actually rather challenging for them.
One kid was just like: "Can't you just give me a chocolate", I replied that he could only get one when he had touched the chest, so he walked over, opened it and went "done!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, not a teacher-student context, but when my brother went to the mandatory psychological evaluation before going to school they asked the kids ''If it's not white, then it's...'' expecting the answer to be ''black'', so naturally, my brother answered ''dark blue''.
I remember in Primary 5 we were learning about the Mary Queen of Scots and Elizabeth etc. We were asked what religion Queen Elizabeth was and I put up my hand to say Protestant and accidentally shouted out Prostitute! The whole class, including the learning assistants, were pissing themselves. Even more so when the teacher responded "that's right well done!"
f4hy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In electrodynamics class in University I was asked on a midterm to determine the electric potential at the center of a configuration of 3 point charges.
I realized the problem didn't say "with zero defined at infinitely far away" like it usually is. So I wrote "I define the electric potential to be zero at that point" and wrote nothing else on the page.
Student : "...but then my trousers will be hanging out, sir"
krunz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Who are the Republicans and Democrats?"
Me (5th grade): "Republicans are the elephant and the Democrats are the donkey."
ST33PER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a Teacher) So there was this one kid in my geography class. When the geography bee rolled around he would never study and act like he did. He would say something like. "Oh man oh man I know it Turkey" and it would be Greece. So one day it rolls around to Oman, and he says "Oh-man" and it was the only one he got right.
I tried to put Thrush(also a bird) in a poem once. My mom was not happy with me when she found out. Had no idea it is also a rash moms can get from nursing.
ngram11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school a friend of mine had an oral quiz in history class. The teacher had assigned a reading earlier in the week on the bay of pigs standoff during the Kennedy administration. So the question was : "what was the most difficult event during Kennedys administration?"
My friend, who hadn't done the reading, without missing a beat replied "when he was shot"
Teacher had to give it to him.
iStock5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When asked "What did the Quakers do for us?" A bright student responded "They made oatmeal!" The class was quiet before the bland delivery of this joke, and I'd told the student to not answer so as to get the rest of the class involved. This one bit of humor really brought them out of their shells
Grade 4, we were to give a presentation in front of the class. The topic I was given was, "which would you choose, oak or sable?" Researched the hell out of it, oak can be made into furniture, can be burned for warmth, can make a fur coat out of sable (like a mink)... 20mins presentation in front of the class. Turns out, teacher meant Oak Island and Sable Island, both of which are famous (in Nova Scotia apparently) for shipwrecks and buried treasure.
My wife's a teacher. She asked "Jason, can you find Mexico on a globe?" Jason agrees and points it out. She then asked, "Okay class, who found Mexico?" Class' response: "Jason"
On a maths paper with the question.
Tom and Dave play a game with a six sided spinner. Tom spins the spinner 200 times. these are the results.
1 - 30 2 - 32 3 - 59 4 - 31 5 - 28 6 - 20
Is this fair?
he replied 'No, he didn't let Dave have a go'
I remember when I was in high school, there was a physics question about a car going X km/h, and if he could stop before hitting a wall, given x deceleration and shit.
I didn't know how to answer, and just wrote it "no".
Teacher marked my answer as wrong.
So, we did review the test on the black board, when this question was asked during the review, I did answer it loud as "yes". When questioned why, I replied "Well, I did write No and you wrote it as wrong".
AP US History and the teacher is talking about a break-in, robbery, and murder at a shoe factory (Sacco and Vanzetti). He's talking about the uncertainty of the evidence against them, no prior crimes by either men, and any other reasons the men might have had for going to the shoe factory, at which point my buddy floats this statement from the back row:
"Maybe they were searching for their soles."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade English class. Our teacher is speaking to the class from her desk. My friend "T" is talking to me and subsequently gets called out in front of the class by Mrs. W.
Mrs. W- "T, since you are talking, do you want to stand up and teach the class?"
T- " No, do you?"
This was me. I'm not sure if it counts as funny. No teacher actually read this.
I was in an ACE school, these you basically do workbooks you fill in yourself and mark yourself. The only teacher involvement really is the 'check ups' to make sure you can take the test at the end of the book. I remember taking a social studies workbook that I think had been 'updated' at some point in the 80s/90s. And being asked the following:
'With your knowledge of Biblical prophecy' (What knowledge, I'm 14) 'Could Saddam Hussein gain control of Iraq/Threaten the west' (something along those lines). He'd died around a year before I was doing this particular workbook but my response was
'No (Because he's dead)'.
Kighla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the K5 students was given a prompt to write about and draw what they would be doing in 100 years. He wrote "I will be dead" and drew a picture of himself laying in a grave and the tombstone said his name.
I remember in my class (called technology but for you people outside the UK its where we build things) we had a test.
The question was "why would you use PVA glue to stick two wooden items together"
I answered "becuasw thats what glue does, its sticky"
got a mark for it too :)
MorthaP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in elementary school. Quiz question said 'Which is the shortest month?' Obviously they were looking for 'February', but I put 'May'.. since.. y'know.. shortest word.
I got full points because the teacher said the question probably hadn't been precise enough.
Not a teacher but a witness.
In high school we had been spending a month in history class going over the development of Christianity in Europe through the middle ages and renaissance, and pairs of people were asked to have a presentation about a famous individual from that time from a list.
2 girls in class chose to have their presentation about Martin Luther, and spends a week preparing for it, and eventually make their presentation about Martin Luther King Jr and what he did in USA in the 50s and 60s.
Not a teacher, was the student.
During biology class, we were just beginning to learn about DNA. We were gathered around the front while the teacher was teaching. He asked "does anyone know what genes are made of?" and I, semi-zoned out, replied immediately "denim"
In 1st grade we had to write a sentence for our work sheet. So I wrote "Your pen is on the floor" the teacher circled "pen is" and wrote for me to see her after class! She thought I wrote "Your penis on the floor".
ahol208 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:44 on April 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a history class, my professor was talking about the transcontinental railroad and said something along the lines of "The folks from Chicago wanted it in Chicago, but who is not from Chicago?" (I don't remember the exact wording, but essentially, I think he was looking for either "the south" or "the southwest") and out of the blue, this usually quiet kid goes "...people from Detroit"
Not a teacher, but TA'd for one. There was a test with some "freebie" open ended questions for extra points at the end of one of the tests. I don't remember what the question was but the answer was "Jesus, because Jesus is always the answer." He got partial points just because he made us laugh.
xband1t ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:34:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student, our math teacher was explaining a problem on the blackboard and asked... "Now class, how do I get rid of this decimal?". Me, "Erase it."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this reminds me of something my freshman HS general science teacher did. She gave us a list of 60-100 vocabulary terms a week. We had to put:
What we thought it meant
What it meant
An example
A non-example
And a small image.
For most of the year, I used "rocks" or "air" for the non-examples, because non-examples were fucking bullshit imo. It took an hour at least to do, and she constantly bitched about my handwriting (I've got fine motor skill problems) but wouldn't let me type the work.
She never marked me off, except one time near the very end. I shut her down with "But Ms. [Bitchface], those are non-examples, they're examples of what the thing isn't."
rfennem ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching Grade 3's a lesson in dental health. We placed a boiled egg in cola to demonstrate by brushing the outer shell with a fluoride toothpaste once a day made a difference to the damage caused by acid and sugar. A student missed the entire week of this experiment so on his return I began to explain the lesson. As I summarized the results I pointed out that the egg shell was still a bit brown in color even though we brushed once a day. He raised his hand and replied...."like your teeth sir!"
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother, when in 6th grade, got into a fight during lunch break and ended up with a big shoe mark across his white shirt.
The class after the lunch break was taken by a teacher nick named the "Komodo Dragon". She was 6" 5 and massive build. Further, she had a fiery temper and kept erupting like a volcano on the slightest of errs.
She walks into class and spots my brothers chatting away while looking like a complete mess (she loved picking on him...). She calls him over and asks him, "What is this?" whilst pointing to the shoe mark.
Back in the day, there was an Ariel/Tide advert running in country where a mom angrily asks her kid "What is this?" While pointing to stains on the clothes. And the kid smartly replies, "We have Tide."
My brother felt his situation was similar to the advert and replied, "We have Tide."
The whole class broke out into laughter, she threw him out for the remainder of the class and later I was called to the principal's.
Not A teacher but a mom, I had asked my 6 year old daughter "if she knew that chickens can still run around after their heads are cut off?" Her quick response of "not if you cut off their feet first." Completely caught me off guard. I laughed and gave her credit for her problem solving. I was a little creeped out that she was just so casual about it and there was no "awe poor chicken", just -stop it from running away.
My wife is a high school special ed teacher for mild to moderate students. Almost all of her students are at about a 2nd to 3rd grade cognitive level, yet she loves it because they are able to respond.
Recently they were talking about their disabilities and she has this one student who is literally the nicest kid alive. Earlier in the year they hosted a special needs basketball tournament and in one of the games this child was lucky enough to steal the ball from the opposing team. Aside from being overjoyed he was also filled with regret and ended up giving the ball back to the person he stole it from with a "I'm sorry".
Well when asked if he knew was his disability was, he responded "my disability is that I'm super nice and just love everyone to pieces."
In 6th grade we were asked to draw a picture of "an expert" on the board. The idea being that we would all be sexist and racist and whatever-ist and draw a white male doctor or scientist etc and the teacher would point it out. I saw it coming from a mile away and so I spent a long time at the board drawing Bert from Sesame Street handing over a name changing form to a judge in a courtroom so he could be an 'ex Bert.'
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:57:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing for a 2nd grade science class. We were doing a lesson on why there's night and day, and I had been told that they could do the reading on their own and fill out all the answers without any help. I realized that wasn't the case when several of them wrote that we have day and night "because daytime is for playing and nighttime is for sleeping".
One of my all time favorite stories. We were in pairs talking about deep ocean animals. One of my students was explaining how he knew vampire squids live in the twilight zone and misspoke, "they have little blue lights on their testicles." His partner's mouth fell open and I asked him to repeat himself. He turned bright red and yelled "TENTACLES!"
None of the other kids heard and the three of us had a good laugh once he got over being embarrassed.
Just the other week in my Ancient History course we were covering Cato the Elder's writings on slavery, and the TA made the mistake of just asking what Cato believed.
I, of course, responded with "That Carthage must be destroyed" a joke that was sadly lost on the entire room bar the professor, who was sitting in.
YTIHZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student recently get really confused about a question on units of time and their relationships (I teach grade 3). The student was crying because he couldn't figure out a question.
The question was "Mr. Tihz has a dog that is 24 months old. How many years old is his dog?"
A friend worked at a daycare center where they had a unit on fire safety, including "stop, drop, and roll". One kid had been out sick but when he got back he was asked, "What would you do if your clothes were on fire?" and he said, "I wouldn't get dressed." (I have forever had an image of the kid opening the dresser drawer, seeing a blazing inferno, saying "nope" and closing the drawer.)
This is a personal favorite of mine only because I was the student. We were talking about Freud and a girl that constantly would complain said all he proved was what all women know and that men are just controlled by their dicks. So I said "he also explained why you spread your legs to a different guy every week, daddy issues and penis envy". I apparently made my teachers day.
Teminds me of a study showing adults could usually find two or three uses for a particular item while 6year olds averaged 30+.
I was impressed until I read into and they accepted any abstract answer. "Rubber bands can be hats!"
Fiend's taking a college philosophy course and the professor is a real stickler. Before finals week they ask what they should review and he says it's a cumulative essay - nothing more. So they're cramming for the exam like crazy.
Day of the test, professor walks in, puts a chair on his desk, and asks: How do you know this chair is real? You have an hour.
So they all start writing like mad, but less than two minutes later, the student with the highest grade in the class gets up, places his test on the professors desk, and walks out. Turns out he got an "A"; his answer?
Not a teacher but a student, so we had a quiz on the map of Africa. Quiz time comes, and I don't know half of the countries so I just start filling the other ones up with Turkey and Kyrgistan, Belgium and the U.A.E. , and then whatever's left I filled in with Ethiopia. I must have filled in seven or eight countries with Ethiopia, and they all got counted correct. Maybe my teacher thought Ethiopia was going to get more food that way.
riddus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did this as a student and they attempted to reprimand me- It was an English class and we had to write detailed instructions to a game. The instructions had to be written in a way that somebody who had never played could sit down and enjoy a game without having to ask any questions. The teacher gave no length requirements, she only stated that we would be working on these the next three class sessions. The entire class, except myself, picked fairly complex games (Uno, Monopoly, various video games, etc). I picked Hangman. So, I hand my paper in at the end of the first class session, only to be told it was unsatisfactory and would not be accepted. I protested repeatedly that it met all criteria of the grading rubric and should be. The teacher and I argued this to the point that she instructed me to take my rubric and completed assignment to the school superintendent. Once I met with the super and presented my documents, he read everything over and said "so what's the problem"? It was a small victory, but it felt huge.
TL;DR- took the path of least resistance on an assignment and was able to override the teacher's decision.
Lol she didnt SAY it had to be complicated! Though this reminds me of the "write without pictures exactly how to tie shoes so someone who never has tied shoes before can tie them correctly". Id want to do something like that box grid game or cards againat humanity.
This is one I did a few years back, we were doing the great depression in social studies.
The teacher asks: "What comes with depression?" Hes referring to an economic depression, but me being the person I am, I reply quickly with: "Suicidal tendencies"
My mom teaches special needs kids. They were going over a science lesson and she told them, "living things need air to live, and non living things do not."
A retarded kid in the back goes, "my bicycle tire needs air!"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So on the school announcements, they have the joke of the day (week) on Fridays.
I was listening to it, and the joke was "What happens when a meteorite hits you?" (or something close to that)
I said out loud "Death" and everybody started giggling.
ZAWGURN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:55:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student
In Pre-K we had to draw a picture of what we would look like in 100 years.
I drew a grave with my name on it and RIP
Teaching English to middle schoolers in Korea, asked: "Ok, what's another way you can express surprise in English?" (after going over expressions like, "No way!", "Are you serious?" "Are you kidding me?")
Kid yells from the very back of the room: "WHAT THE FUCK!?
My fiance is a preschool teacher. I recently proposed to her (SHE SAID YES!). One of her students saw the ring and said: "are you getting married?" SHE replied, "YES". The little boy then asked "are you marrying your dad?". She said "no?". The little boy seemingly upset responded "but MY mom married MY dad!".
I thought the logic was cute!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:53:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers don't really care whether or not the kids are smart. They care whether they work hard. It's your kindness and work ethic that determines whether a teacher likes you, not intelligence.
If you were a straight A student who was a little shit everyday I would hate you too. Not because I was 'jealous' or 'out to get you' or anything, but because there are kids there who have difficulty learning and need to actually hear what the teacher is saying.
It's them that you fucked over with your hilarious, daily antics, not the teacher. Every second the teacher spent babysitting your immaturity was a second less individual attention that the struggling students received.
this, i secretly hated that retard who kept trying to make everyone laugh while I was trying my best and not understanding... like shut the fuck up dude
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 02:39:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really true, many teachers are bad at teaching, don't actually like kids, and are often not very bright, meaning they don't like or understand bright kids. There should be much higher standards for who is appointed to teacher, and of course, if you can't laugh at a students joke you should not be allowed anywhere near a school.
It's not about the joke though. If that kid had told that joke at lunch time or recess, then it would have been perfectly fine. Hell, if they had at least raised their hand that would have been better. But can you really tell me that any teacher is going to love the kid shouting out shit randomly in the middle of a lesson from the back of the room?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sure as hell hope my pupils will be doing that when I start teaching next year. I'm gonna be teaching for like 50 years if I don't get someone cracking jokes i'm going to be bored out of my skull. Besides, do you think teaching is some kind of pouring action where the children open their heads and you just slide in the learning? That kind of teaching theory has been totally debunked nowadays, you want the kids to participate, be enthusiastic and involved. You don't want them to be nice and quiet and shut up. The more they do that the dumber they become. A classroom is not a Hitlerjugend situation.
Absolutely the kids sitting there are listening and doing nothing else for the entire lesson would be a terrible learning situation for most students. But that's not the point of my argument.
Let's say you have an amazing lesson planned that is hands on. Your plan is to explain the activity for five minutes, including important safety information, let them work through the activity for thirty five minutes, then ten minutes at the end to share results and draw a conclusion as a group.
But then fuckhead starts interrupting you every five seconds, cracking jokes during your initial five minutes. You can't skip that part because if you do, the kids might potentially get hurt. So now you need to waste fifteen minutes, eating into your fun activity. And maybe now there isn't time for all the students, particularly the ones with more difficulty learning, to work through the activity, so they don't really get to draw the conclusion themselves, making the deductive lesson a lot less effective that it could have been.
That is what I am talking about. There is absolutely a time and place to be a goofball. It's great when kids have fun with the class and feel safe enough to take chances. During appropriate times. But having someone yelling crap constantly from the back creates a negative learning environment.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 02:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if the teacher was the biggest mega-cunt to ever exist, that's not really pertinent on the situation or my earlier response to you.
Your last statement was that she didn't like you despite the fact that you had straight A's. I was merely pointing out the fact that a person's grades don't usually factor in when a teacher is deciding whether or not they like a student.
I then went on to state that you being a dick in class hurts your classmates. Regardless of whether or not the teacher was bitch and deserved it doesn't change the truth of that statement. Disrupting a classroom means that you have no respect for your classmates who are actually trying to learn. The teacher's competency or lack thereof doesn't change the fact that your selfish, petty ways negatively affected everyone around you.
that's all of reddit. one person presents his/her side and its gospel without knowing anything more. Discussion isn't wanted here, for whatever reason.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My physics teacher told me about the silliest answer he ever received. He said that he was teaching Impulse and Momentum and the problem was to find an impulse. So the equation for impulse is Force*Time. A student actually wrote that the impulse was 45 Newtons *9:47AM.
I teach piano to people of all ages and one day I was working with a four year old.
We were talking about the difference between loud and quiet sounds (yes, you do have to teach children these things because they mix them up with high and low sounds) and I was using a relatable example to help him understand: animal noises.
So we talked about LOUD animals and we imitated a lion how it ROARS and is very LOUD!
Then we talked about quiet animals and I asked him what sort of animals make quiet noises and we both agreed that a bird could make very quiet noises.
"Hey, Student, why don't you show me what sort of sounds a bird makes?" I asked him.
ESL in Japan: we were doing a lesson on describing what people look like. I pulled up a picture of a fellow teacher and asked "What does [Anna] look like?" My student responded: "She has black hair. Andโฆ" and then she squinted a bit at the and continued "โฆand she has eyes."
when I was in kindergarten a teacher asked words that start with the letter F and I think you can figure out what my answer was
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was the student.
We were discussing theories in my general biology class last semester. Obvious answer: theory of evolution, theory of relativity, etc. I raised my hand and mentioned the "theory of gravity". Her response: "Pshh, gravity isn't a theory!" And then the whole class laughed :(
A big ass feral cat was hiding in a hollow part of the tree, just outside the window of my classroom. I asked them what they were all staring at. One of my more froward african american students says "Idk man, go axe the tree and find out." I could't tell him to stop saying "axe" in place of "ask" because we both knew damn well if I axed the tree, I would find out what they were staring at.
Not exactly what you're looking for, but it happened just today.
Background: I'm a relief teacher, looking for full-time work. In NZ you go through a mentor program for the first two years of full-time work. I do a LOT of work at School A, and only don't have a job there because they have too many teachers currently in the second year of the mentor program (I'm in the first).
I mentioned to a teacher I was working with today that I had an interview at a School B a few suburbs over, and a student got very upset that I might not relieve at School A anymore. He asked why I didn't have full time work at School A, and I explained.
He immediately turned to his normal teacher (in the second year of the program) and told her she should apply at School B.
Not a teacher but my sister works at a school. She asked her student to say all the words she could think of that start with the letter "d" in one minute. Her first word was dingleberry. Not "dog" or "dad". Dingleberry.
I'm a company trainer so I teach adults and teenagers about pretty much everything... ground up.. One day I asked my newest class to tell me what ways you can show integrity in the work place..keep in mind this class' oldest was 17.. expecting something like 'doing the job right when no one is watching' like I usually get. The oldest said 'Don't eat other people's food in the breakroom fridge just because you know no one will know who did it'
I'm not a teacher but I remember one of our assignments was to write an essay about "If I were the President of the United States...." and my friend wrote on her paper "I could never be president, I'm Canadian".
Not the teacher, but my history teacher would pick a few test papers he saw funny or had really good answers, my past friend being the class clown put down for the question
"Describe the first world war in your own words" and he put
"It was like my ex, a mess and a living hell".
Medarco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my microbiology class, the prof often had unrelated bonus questions on his quizzes. This is at a Christian school, keep in mind.
One April quiz, the bonus asked what holiday fell in exactly 2 weeks. I did the math and it was 4/20... I knew there was no way my 70 year old private Christian University prof wanted "national weed day" as the answer, but I couldn't come up with anything else. Multiple other students confirmed submitting marijuana day as their answer.
Here's one but reversed. My mom is a Spanish teacher, she's lived the past 30+ years at this point in the USA. She was born in Colombia. Anyways there's always still been a bit of a learning curve for her. So one day in class some kids are flinging rubber bands across the room at each other. My mom seeing this says "who's throwing those rubbers" The whole class laughed and she had a great story for the dinner table that night.
A student was asked to use the word fascinate in a sentence. He said, "My sister got a new sweater with ten buttons, but her tips are so big she could only fasin eight."
That is part of a slightly longer joke, not something that actually happened to me. If your still not sure see user name.
Class talks about the Lottery's gruesome death; kid makes a connection: this is just like in an episode of Spongebob where squidward's house was sacrificed in a volcano. He wasn't wrong but it was so left field haha
I was once in woodshop class and the teacher asked me "what do we have here?". My response "wood" when the correct answer technically was one of the drawers for the dresser I was working on. Didn't realize I was being a smart ass till after he had moved on.
On a Cold War quiz, question was something like:
Why did the Soviet Union become more open to Western ideas and more friendly with the USA during the 1980s?
He wrote:
"Because the Soviets stopped being pricks"
Not a teacher but I once sat in on my baby sister's kindergarten class and that day they were introducing the school counselor and trying to explain what the counselor does. And the counselor proceeds to say, "If you ever feel like you are scared or hurt, come talk to me." Obviously referring to bullying or family abuse or something. And my baby sister immediately raises her hand, which causes all the blood to drain from my face. And you could see the counselor was very alarmed, but my sister continues to say, "This morning, I saw a bug on the bus. And I was scared."
Old one, I apologize if it has been posted recently.
An linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
I peer tutored a bunch of kids that were in a class called Linear. It basically means they dont have the same learning/reading/writing skills of those the same so they get put in a extended class that combines either Math and Science or English and Socials.
We had one student, bless his heart was a smartass and had lazy tendencies but most of it was because he was reading at a grade 3 level in grade 9. On one particular occasion the teacher called on him to answer a question about greek history and he replied with 4 answers and told the teacher to pick one.
"What are the greeks most known for?"
"Well... Theres art, chariots, bathing naked with animal fats and oils and ummm that other thing you said. Which one is the best answer?"
Not a teacher but once in high school somebody said "holy crap." I went to a private Christian school, so the teacher of course took offense. She retorted, "crap is not holy!" The smartest kid in our class, who graduated valedictorian and all, said, "it is if it came out of Jesus." mic drop Teacher had CBF and turned around and kept teaching.
Scoriae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In English class, the teacher asked, "What is 'down the street'?" (like, as a part of a sentence). My friend responded "It depends which way you go."
jmoney6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but story from my mom who teaches 9-12th grade special ed in an under privelaged neighborhood in South Florida.
2 students talking Student A (SA) Student b (SB)
SA to SB: Go fuck yourself.
SB: what did you just say to me?
SA: I said go FACK yourself.
SB: god your stupid it's FUCK, right Mrs. Jmoney6's mom.
My mom: yeah he's right.
Not a teacher but a friend of mine is a math teacher. On a test there was a question that asked the students to "Name this polygon". One student answered "Bob".
(Edit to clarify: We technically did just do a DNA extraction experiment on a strawberry...)
Amapel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had an assignment in social studies where he was supposed to find something that represented the average day of a farmer and attach it to a poster. So while other students glued seeds or grain to their poster, he rubbed it in the dirt and handed it in. Little shit got 3/5 too.
Not a teacher, but this is something that happened to me. In high school we had this history teacher who always acted hip and liked to joke around a lot. So one time in class we were talking how everything's on a computer nowadays and he asked the class if anyone knew who was in the news recently for hacking into the US military's databases via computer. Having rewatched Transformers recently, I thought he was making a joke and I raised my hand and answered "the Decepticons." Turns out it was an actual thing that happened and the answer he was looking for was China.
Misledz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the indian system we have tons of follow up questions that is based off the first question, it's a nightmare for kids but the system loves the torture. It asked "What are the 4 major caste systems" and the answer was "not sure", the follow up questions had "Refer to 1A answer"
I had a lovely, well-mannered, top of the class kid pleading with me at the end of a test to have her paper back to change something. Of course I didn't let her.
For the question "Name one bio-fuel." she had written "Plants/Shit."
A friend of mine told me his daughter on her first day of a new school was in a history class and the teacher was talking about the Battle of Hastings and wanted to know who was the leader of the Normans. She was very tempted to shout out "William the Bastard" but didn't know how to teacher would react so went with "William of Normandy" or the like.
creepbg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in university studying Drama the following exchange took place for all our theater history lessons in the first term:
We were playing trivia and the teacher asked "What is the 'City of Brotherly Love?'" and I shouted "San Francisco!" .. she cried laughing and I was embarrassed and confused. It took me a long time to figure out my mistake.
Q: What is a use of iron and what properties of it support this?
A: Paperweight because its heavy.
iZzzyXD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one my brother pulled. In geography class the teacher asks: "Where is the largest part of the population?", about regional differences in population density. To which my brother replied: "Six feed under."
mmecca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a kid to compare the surfaces of an unglazed coil pot to a glazed one. He said the unglazed one "looks like dirt". Well... you're not entirely wrong.
Urghgh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once went to my little brothers teacher, to talk about his grades and such. It was all good, but the teacher told me and my mum that my little brother often asks her very strange/weird questions from time to time. My mum and I didn't really know what she was talking about so she gave an example: My little brother (around 7 years old at the time) had a little math (calculation) test. And one of the questions was a simple one like for example, "John went to the mall to buy 2 jackets, one costs โฌ 15 and the other one โฌ 20, he pays with a โฌ 50 bill, how many euros does John get in return?"... so as you can see, not much to ask about, but my little brother raises his hand to ask a question and asks the teacher, in all seriousness: "About the jackets .. are they jackets you can wear during the autumn, or more like winter jackets?" Me and my mother started laughing so hard because he has never does this at home. He's 15 now, and as normal as a 15-year old can be, but it's something that I won't be forgetting ever because he's my little bro, love him and I keep teasing him about it from time to time
Tommy_C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in algebra II sophomore year, teacher was balancing an equation on the board. He asked, "and what do we do to the left hand side?" Without hesitation kid responds "pass the dutchie".
jmr85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the first lessons I ever taught as a qualified teacher, about antibacterial resistance...
Me: "Can anyone give me an example of a superbug?"
15 year-old student, quick as a flash: "Spider-Man, Sir!"
JLR- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching in Taiwan, I wanted to explain how language travels from one country to another. I asked "Why do they speak English in Canada?" A girl immediately raised her hand and exclaimed "Oh I know! Because Canada don't know Chinese!"
My students were writing an extended response questions (where 10-year-olds are asked to fill an entire page with information... yay, standardized testing...) and the question was about fractions. The part A was to solve a problem using equivalent fractions. Part B said to use pictures and words to show how you know your answer is correct...
One of my kids drew a picture of him sitting at his table and me standing in front of the board. He drew speech bubbles of his table discussing a similar question and of me telling them which student was correct. Then he wrote, "I know my answer is correct because we talked about this same problem in class and my teacher told us we were correct."
Technically not wrong. Technically did what the question asked of him. I couldn't mark it wrong, but I did write a note that next time his pictures and word explanations should focus on the math concepts that prove it. :)
My wife was a TA for Biology in College (University). This was the bonus question, "Sperm travel from the _____ through the _____ into the _____."
Oh dear god the best response was you guessed it.
"Testes, Vas Defferens, Vagina"
Never had more fun grading a stack of papers with my wife!
12th grade English. I asked the students to explain the steps for doing something, literally anything they know how to do (a free writing essay prompt). One kid wrote:
The steps for doing something
1. Make sure that something is appropriate
2. Ask for permission to do it
3. Take the process seriously
Not a teacher but a witness to this hilarity. It was our social sciences class. The teacher used to be a very boring one. It seemed as if she herself has no interest in teaching, and was there just for the sake of being there.
She finished the chapter, and asked : "Okay class, does anyone have any problem?"
A voice came from the very back of room: "We have problem with you!"
The class burst out laughing, obviously the voice had everyone's sentiments put in.
The teacher had a confused look in her face, and her eyes were struggling to find where the voice came from.
_Yx_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked them to sign in on MIT's Scratch. In the birthday form (MM/DD/YYYY), one of them tried to write "SATURDAY"
I teach kindergarten in South Korea. I was teaching my six year olds about punctuation marks.
I drew a question mark on the board and asked the class what it was. One of my smartest students raises his hand and excitedly answers, "that is a ketchup mark!" Then I drew giant quotation marks on the board, the same kid raises his hand and just as excitedly yells, "those are potato marks!"
Me: What's the capital of Tennessee?
2nd grader: T
DDiski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was how to put out a Forrest fire and what do you take away. One student had the idea of putting a huge dome over the forrest so that the oxygen would run out
Late to the party, but when I was teaching English in China debating whether there was life after death, all of the students strongly agreed that there was none, except for one who strongly disagreed. He felt there was life after death because, "If a tree dies, maybe some mushrooms will grow on it."
"Er....um, yeah I guess that's a fair point. Hm."
d-101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently a teacher but this one relates back to my childhood. I didn't want to do a math assignment in second grade and so I wrote for every answer "I don't want to do this." Or something similar. My teacher laughed her ass off and called a parent/teacher conference with my mom to show her what I did. The teacher was like "while this may technically be true I can't award any credit and he'll need to redo the assignment."
Not a teacher, but evidently when I was in preschool or kindergarten my school gave me an eye exam and since we were little we did pictures instead of letters. In the middle of the test there was one picture I couldn't quite figure out at first and after sitting for a minute thinking I suddenly started grinning and proudly stated "It's a butt!" The nurse looked at the picture and started laughing. She told me it was meant to be an apple, but I wasn't wrong, it definitely looked like a butt!
I think i'm gonna toot my own horn here. I can't remember this, but i met some of my moms friends some time ago and we started to talk about me in school. And they told me about one time we where gonna draw our stuffed animal. I ended up drawing a big paw and i said the reason why was because it was to big to fit onto a paper.
I'm not a teacher and I technically only got half credit for this, but on an English test it said conjunction with a line beside it where I was supposed to summarize the meaning. Instead I wrong 'conjunction junction what's your function'
Proudest half credit I ever received
When I was still in school, in biology class, the teacher asked why do women have to consume less calories and a fellow pupil shouted-out "Because it goes straight to their hips!"
In Puerto Rico we have a chain of supermarkets called "Mr. Special". The topic was common and proper nouns. The student was supposed to provide the common noun for each of the proper nouns on the exercise. The exercise said -Mr. Special- he was supposed to write supermarket and instead he thought Mr. special was the name of a teacher so he wrote teacher as his answer. Technically the student wasn't wrong. Mr. Special-teacher.
Not a teacher, but as a student I had a Rube Goldberg machine project with a required minimum number of energy transfers and minimum time to operate. It was really hard to make simple energy transfers consume much time, so I ended up conceiving the idea of sending a text to myself as the first step, and the phone's vibration when receiving the text made it move down a ramp and initiate the actual energy transfers. So the idea was that sending the text was step 1 of the machine, and the time it took to send and receive the text counted as part of the process (averaged around 30-40s). The science teacher actually let it pass, because he didn't already have any rule against it. Personally (secretly) i disagreed that it was a proper transfer of energy, but i figured hey if he's cool with it then i am. The following year, every student in that class heard about my project and pulled that same trick. He had to impose a rule from then on where phones couldn't be used (nowdays, though, the loopholes are probably a lot more complicated with various electronic devices available)
I once did a fish dissection with some high school biology students. I asked the question "how do you think the fish died?" I was hoping for answers about freezing (true cause) due to observed constricted blood vessels or disease/cancer due to enlarged organs in some fish. The most common answer was 'the teacher killed it'
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about marriage in an english language course. After everybody said something, a silence happened for a few seconds. Then teacher asked a new question "what're the advantages of marriage?" and one guy said "free sex"
I'm a Kindergarten teacher, mine is not a direct question, more of a response. One Friday my co-teacher says "TGIF." A student redponds "No, no, it's A,B,C,D."
When I was in high school, a classmate turned in a book report that somehow leaked to the rest of us. "Animal Farm is a very stupid story because everyone knows that animals can't talk." (Her nickname was Airhead Darlene.)
I had a social studies teacher that was super cool an& encouraged us to think creatively. The instructions on the test said "Circle the correct answer" so one kid drew a circle around the entire page. He got a 100% on the test.
Not a teacher. Took a girl to homecoming sophomore year and we, along with a bunch of other people, went to a semi nice restaurant for dinner. She orders a steak and the waiter asks how she would like it cooked.
"On a grill."
LPT: never laugh so hard you offend your date, no matter how funny you think it is.
I teach english in Spain and i asked them to translate the names of family members to english. Ex: hermana > sister and so on. They were having a hard time translating tia to aunt so i game them a big hint: that the last three letters were U-N-T.
One student gave me here quiz with the word C-U-N-T.
great fun
I don't know how funny this is but it's a true story. I was in high school and Shakespeare was not my favorite person to read. The homework assignment was to read a page or two of some play, which I dutifully did. The next day there was a pop quiz on it, and to my horror, I literally did not remember a single thing about what I had read.
So that's what I put down on the paper and turned it in. "Mrs. So-and-so, I swear to you that I read this assignment, but I have no idea what the answers are to any of these questions."
She gave partial credit, though I had answered nothing. She wrote, "I appreciate your honesty, but next time make sure you understand the material you are reading."
Isn't that her responsibility? She is the one teaching it. I might have understood if she asked you to kindly try and focus on the reading next time so you at least remember it.
I'm pretty sure the failure was mine, not hers. I made sure to read the passages more than once the rest of that class to make sure I figured out what was happening in the scenes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine writing about Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" argued that the choice the poet had to make when he came across a fork in the road in a woods could be compared to choosing to have alternative forms of marital relations, i.e. taking the road less traveled. He had read the theory online and got a great kick out of it so decided to write about the theory in his final year of exams. The corrector, an old Irish (traditionally minded) woman was appalled and threatened the student with harsh sanctions due to the inappropriate sexual content of his writing. But in fairness to the guy, poetry is open to interpretation and my friend did back up his point very well, therefore could not be considered wrong. Only to an unenlightened/conservative mind perhaps. He appealed the sanctions and after a review by the local board of education, nothing came of the threat.
Am teacher, but story is my response from 6th grade.
Y2K rolling around and my health teacher asks the class if anyone knows what Y2K stands for. At about this time, Kia was doing a commercial for their new millennium car or something and their slogan was "Yes 2 Kia". I had not yet made the connection between Y2K and Year 2000. So I rose my hand and answered, "Yes 2 Kia?" with complete sincerity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
technically right,
AP 1 quiz: while playing soccer Sally tackles a defender illegally, you can clearly see a lower portion of the proximal epiphysis of Sally's tibia is now sticking out of her leg. what kind of fracture does she have? if her epiphyseal plate has not fully ossified what could be the worst result?
(I expect a merely mention of limited bone growth, but as an example of one of my class mnemonics from epiphysis to diaphysis is-
Evidently Real People Have Careers, Dave.. I should have expected this answer:
Sally has a compound fracture. she will have
1. a shorter leg
2. an empty dance card
3. regret, but more reading time & better grades
4. eventual academic success, despite her limp.
In 1st grade we had district assessments for math. There was two columns one for what we did and one for why we did it. For the why we did it i wrote because my teacher told me. I was in 1st grade i regret nothing
Kighla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The funniest answer I get all day every day is "Ms. Kighla, you told me to do it" after I scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR SEAT" or "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY STUFF" at them ... :') It happens so often the kids don't even get upset anymore. Some kids will write notes and date it with a timestamp to prove when I said things..
I've shared this in another thread, but my sister in law had my then 2 year old nephew tested for learning disabilities. The doctor would ask "Where's the ______?" and my nephew had to point to where in the room it was.
When the doctor asked where's the birdie, my nephew pointed to his penis, as birdie is tagalog slang for dick.
Not a teacher, but we had to grade our classmates quizzes in health class. There was a question on male side effects from steroids. Smaller testicles was the answer, my classmate wrote "small balls". I just let that one go :D
InaBorx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this counts. Not a teacher but my senior year I had a bad habit of coming in a little bit after the bell. Finally, my teacher (who was an awesome guy btw) asked me and why were you late this time? I answered very honestly with "My car wouldn't go fast enough." My car was a 4-cylinder car that honestly wasn't that fast. So, I sat down in my seat everyone in my class cracking up and my poor teacher was up front with his head down giggling and trying not to. He finally looked up at me and had a look of you got me on his face then said next time I will have to write you up for being late.
Not a teacher, but witnessed this at a speaking test.
Teacher: "Do you usually celebrate your birthday with your friends or with your family?"
Student: "Yes."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but some kid in my class said
"What's the difference between a quiz and Test?"
And somebody replied "the spelling" and the teacher goes "well you're not wrong"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intro to physics, professor asks what factors are used to determine how much speeding tickets are.
I responded with, if you're driving through construction zone or not.
Because you know....fines are doubled.
Everyone laughed.
azvlr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade water cycle discussion (evaporation, clouds, rain) - a kid blurted out, "Is heaven in the clouds?" Being public school and all, I responded "Well, some people, if they are religious, believe that heaven is in the clouds." His response, "I'm not religious. I'm Catholic!" So wrong or so right depending on your perspective.
A girl in my high school thought that XING (abbreviation for crossing) was a word pronounced ZING. As in "Deer ZING." Or "School ZING." It made sense to her as she explained. "You want the deer to ZING across the road. Right?"
Question: What can scientists assume when attempting to date rocks?
My answer: Some BS about how they can vary depending on the surrounding rock. And sometimes when you are trying to attempt to date someone they lead you on and act like they want to be dated, until one day you take a step forwards and boom! Out of nowhere rejection. He gave me 100 on that test because it was funny to him and I think he felt bad for me. (Because I had just learned that lesson)
Not really, he's a pretty shit science teacher. Basically everyone is either hating that class cause he doesn't know shit or loving it cause he doesn't know shit...
I teach English learners at our elementary. I mainly work with first and second grade. For this particular assignment I had asked them to draw something they like to do in their native country. I collect all the work and notice that Ronaldo turns a blank paper in. Ronaldo was famous for never doing his homework. So I sarcastically say "Ronaldo I love your picture care to explain what your drawing is..." little bugger get up and tell us it's a drawing of a cow eating grass. I then ask so where is the cow and the grass? Because all I see is a blank paper. Without hesitation he replies "look Mr. S what happen is that the cow eat the grass, and the cow is using the bathroom that's why you don't see her." Needless to say I gave him full credit.
I was swearing in the middle of class and the teacher told me to watch my mouth. Without even thinking about who was telling me this, I blurted out "my eyes can't go down far enough"
Not a teacher, but in high school I had a history teacher that was really laid back. So a friend of mine who had this teacher before said he just wrote a thank you note for the semester and have a good year instead of writing the actual essay on the final. I did the same thing the next year. Got an A on the final.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just can't let them know. Gotta let the students figure it out. Also my teacher was lazy and liked he didn't have to grade the same thing again
bp_516 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What technological inventions by the ancient Chinese impacted the history of war?
A: A big wall.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my speech delayed toddler was asked "What sound does the dog make?" he started to pant and made the "hah hah hah" sound.. teacher said "technically he is correct" never been so proud. lol
Well a story from my experiences as a student was for the question: what has hands but cant clap. The answer was of course a clock, but it didnt stop my friend from writing a paralyzed person. Another answer we came up with after the fact is a t-rex. One i perasonally did for the question: who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Well thats clearly spongebob but it didnt stop me from writing " A lonely fish stuck inside of a pineapple"
True, but I teach 2nd grade, so I'm glad all they said was a ruler!
Akmuq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I'm still pretty pissed at this. I was probably 9 or 10 at the time and we had to answer questions about some random short story we read. The question was phrased "Can you think of something else the main character could have done" or something like that to which I simply replied "No, I can't".
Obligatory "not a teacher" and I wasn't even in the class, but my friend was the one to give the answer:
Jesuit high school, priest who could not look more like Santa was teaching a theology course to seniors and posed the question "Why do so many children in Africa die at such a young age?"
My friend raises his hand, gets called on, and with a completely straight face replies "Natural selection."
This past Friday one of my 9th grade boys was standing on the heating unit along the wall, sitting on the window (the kind that opens like a flap downwards).
He pulls weird crap all the time, so I angrily asked what I thought was a rhetorical question: "Why the hell are you sitting on the window?"
He answered: "Because I had to fart, miss."
Quite considerate, really.
bobzor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked on a quiz "what was the last step you performed before leaving lab?" expecting a technique. The student answered "cleaned my bench". Technically that was the last step of the protocol so I gave credit.
On an 11th grade reading comprehension quiz about The Crucible or Macbeth (it was one of the ones about witches, okay!) we were asked "What is a greymalkin?"
I responded "a crossbreed between a whitemalkin and a blackmalkin" and got full credit with a smiley face.
Turns out it's just a witch's cat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. My mom does home day care.
I walk out of my room past the bathroom the day care kids use. The door pops open and a little girl exclaims "I LOST MY PENIS!" While I can normally handle any problem they throw at me, I pause. turn, And yell 'MOM! YOU NEED TO COME OVER HERE. [GIRL NAME] LOST HER PENIS!" I then calmly walk down stairs. As my Mom walks past me up the stairs she quietly says "We read a book this morning about the different parts of boys and girls."
In the progress of getting a teaching degree so I can become a English teacher. I have 3 children of my own. Not necessarily teaching related but I'm planning to become a teacher soo I'll use a good one my kid pulled....
4yr old: "mike can I have some juice?"
Me: "I'm dad, and yes"
Pouring juice for him
4yr old: "no your names mike! Mom told me your name so I knew what to call you!"
Me: "k, whatever yea it's mike, but I'm your dad, so call me dad."
4yr old: "no.....your name is mike and that's is what you do, I call people by their names at school, (pre school). Dad not even a name for having a kid! Baby's who can't father (said it kinda funny himself) say dad. So I I don't have to call you dad!"
We have a stare down moment....hand him his cup
Me: "take your dang juice."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher who said if you wrote your name on it and turned it in you automatically got 1 point per question. So the shittiest you could do was like 20% as long as you showed up, and didnt write something incredibly stupid(if the answer was too wrong you lost the point for the q)
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:07 on May 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YDI for pointing it out ahead of time... might've worked if you had written that on the test instead of pointing it out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My quick response prompt was: "write about a favorite gift you have ever received."
Student: my favorite gift was when my dad took me to the strip club.
I teach 8th graders.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My student, who was 11 in 2011, tries to tell me that her mother grew up in the 1950s.
Me: <Student>, do you know when the 1950s were?
Student: When there were still black and white people!
Be it speaking racially, on television or in predominating attitudes, she was still right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could have been telling the truth. Her mum could've been born in like 1954 and then, she'd be 46 in 2000, which is tricky, but not impossible.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair call. Unfortunately for her, I knew her mum. Mum wasn't a spring chicken by that point, but there was no way she was 50 either.
(Kid also had a brother three years younger.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, maybe she was born in the '50s, but grew up in the '60s? Like 1959? Sometimes age can be tough to tell.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on May 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cousin whose wife gave birth at ages 48 and 51. Not unheard of.
I teach in Korea and our lesson today was about saying "Don't give up" and I did a little lesson on "OMG" which my students say all the time. I asked them what are some other ways to say "OMG" and my talkative troublemaker said "OH SHIT". It's not a swear here, obviously, but it still took me off guard and a solid minute to regain my composure. This 14 year old kid just said "Oh shit" in the classroom and the teacher laughed about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Sweden, students swear all the time at school, and nobody cares.
I teach math, and I asked the question, "What is another way to say 1/8th?" Student answers, "3.5". I found it really difficult to hold in the laughter.
I used to work at a preschool where I helped teach 3-5 year olds how not to be assholes.
There was this one kid, one of the older boys at 5, he was always the troublemaker. So one day he takes a little Lego house he worked super hard on and throws it at a younger girl, who is 3, and makes her cry. I rush over, but the little girls sister decks the little guy. Like straight up little person world star.
Being a preschool "teacher" I had to explain to them why what they did was wrong.
Me: Why is it okay for you to hit people bud?
Lil boy: yells indiscriminately *
Me: *turns to adorable little girl Why did you think it was okay to hit him? You knew he was going to get in trouble.
Lil girl: Mr. Joe you were going to put him in time out. That's not fair. He hurt my sissy. I needed to hurt him
So I gave her a significantly lowered time out. Cuz I agreed a bit.
In the early eighties, a bishop visit my wife's primary school in a small Irish town in the Midlands. As you might imagine, a great fuss was made about it with all the children in their best clothes and behaviour, etc. The bishop visited all the classrooms and ended the visit addressing all the children and staff at the nearby Parish Hall. He told the children the story of the prodigal son, and finished it asking: "And who wasn't happy to see the prodigal son return?". After a few seconds of silence, an 8 year old shyly raised his hand and, in a hopeful tone, said: "The fattest cow?".
From an old grade school teacher of mine:
She gave students a paper that asked to BOX the correct answer. After she recieved the papers at the end of the test, she obviously started marking them. One student got zero, but his paper was horribly crumpled up and wrinkled. So she asked him, "Why is your paper so crumpled?" And his reply was to mime punching the paper again and again.
He looks at her and says, " Mrs. Z, I really did try. I kept boxing and boxing the paper but you still gave me 0."
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine had an extra credit question on a Biology test that read "What is the only 100% effective means of birth control?" His answer was "Homosexuality." It still kinda bothers me that he didn't get credit for that.
More of a question than an answer. I was discussing how we always need to be wearing safety glasses in the shop when any tool was on, even if you weren't the one using the tool, as things can unintentionally go flying. We agreed that losing an eye was not worth it, when a student asked "Is it safe to say the eyes are the groin of the face?"
My students were learning about the Renaissance and how humanism affects art. They have to determine why the Virgin Mary by Da Vinci was different. The answer is that is painted her as a young woman.
My student wrote: "he painted her before she had Jesus."
I explained that Jesus was in the painting. She insisted that was Mary's other kid. I explained Mary was a virgin when she had Jesus.
Kid: "wait... How did she get pregnant?"
Me: "the holy Spirit"
Kid 2: "MARY WAS RAPED BY GOD?!?!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a correct answer, but funny nevertheless:
Today in class I was writing out some lines of poetry on the board for us to scan for rhythm and meter. The next line of the poem was "the nuts are getting brown," and I was just saying the words as I wrote them. In the pause before I said the last word, while I was writing a student said:
Not a teacher, but when I was taking diffeq the professor was talking about something and he said that a property was closed and then he realized not everyone might know what closed means in math, so he asked, "What does closed mean?" And I answered, "Not open." It sounds stupid when I typed it just now, but it got a big hearty nerd laugh.
Not a teacher, but in highschool our teacher was talking about bill Clinton, and then a Spanish speaking student goes, "is that the one who (Spanish)was getting blowjobs on the toilet(Spanish)" and the teacher who doesn't know Spanish goes, "yeah he did that too", all the students started laughing so hard. It was a mostly Hispanic school so all the students knew but not the teacher
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my one day in middle school my brother wasn't really paying attention in class, so his teacher calls him out and asks him to define homogeneous. My brother pauses a second then replies "Elton John!"
The teacher pulled him into the hallway and said "You'd be in trouble right now if that wasn't so clever."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but volunteered at a preschool. All the preschoolers were circled up for "group time". The question of the day was "What does your dad do during the day?"
A lot of the answers were things like "A doctor", "a teacher", "a cook", and so on. This one little girl, about four years old, stood up angrily and said "My dad sits on the toilet all day and farts his brains out when I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth!"
F1133 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher to student: โMake a sentence using the word โIโ
Student: โI is..โ
Teacher: โNo that is not correct, you should say I amโ
Student: โOk. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabetโ!
One time I was sitting down in my classroom during a group presentation. At the end of the presentation, the class was allowed to ask a few questions to the group. One classmate asked a complicated question to one of the presenters. He looked back at her and simply said, "great question Helen! Next question." He simply made that remark and went onto another question.
Did quiz bowl in high school, and for those who don't know what that is, basically it's an academic competition where two teams get asked 10 questions, they work together to figure out and write down the answers and then a judge scores them.
Anyways the question was "What was the name of Adolf Hitler's wife?" None of us had any idea so we decided to be smart asses and write " Mrs. Hitler". They ended up giving us the he points for it.
Physics paper for 13 year olds: "give an example of when it is beneficial to reduce friction" ans: "I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but.... wanking? Lube?? (I'm sorry but it's the only thing I could think of)".
Man, how come I never got these teachers with a decent sense of humor. I gave one of those answers once to an atrociously worded question - teacher was like you're right but you're getting a 0 but maybe next year I'll change the question. Never showed up to that class again.
When I was in the first grade the teacher asked the class to "draw what you think you'll look like in 100 years." I just put "Ded" (I wasn't great at spelling).
Not a teacher, but a student. On my biology exam last year, the teacher put in an absolutely golden question. Basically, there was a massive section talking about this child called Matthew with brittle bone disease or something, in this section all questions related to Matthew, including the final question: "If you were Matthew's parents, what would you do?"
I personally found this hilarious when I realised that there was no way to disprove the answer "Sacrifice Matthew to the Sun Gods."
KelDG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my mum: Her primary school class was asked to draw a picture of the 'nativity' one of them drew a fat man, she asked why and he replied "It's round John virgin".
mig4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gave students a news article to read about older people buying guns. There's this really old lady in the picture holding a gun. I overhear one student ask the other how old he thought the granny was. Really upset, he responds that it's messed up asking old people their age because it reminds them of how close they are to dying.
The other's comeback, "No, it's dumb to spend money on guns if they're so close to dying anyway."
I was helping test a 5 year old boy. He points to some tape and says "You can measure with that!" He's right, only you measure with measuring tape and not scotch tape.
hijigu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends daughter gave below answer in her exams:
Q: What is the difference between 32 and 37 with an illustration below:
..30..31..32..33..34..35..36..37..38..39..40..
Answer: 37 is faraway.
Q: What is the difference between 48 and 51 with an illustration below:
..45..46..47..48..49..50..51..52..53..54..55..
Junior high school social studies class. Lesson was on laws, how they're made, enforced, etc. Teacher asks, "Is anyone above the law?" Student replies, "Steven Seagal!"
This was just a few years after that movie came out. The class and teacher thought it was hilarious.
I teach highschool math. I gave a quiz in which my freshmen had to identify an exponential relationship from a pattern. One of the questions asked them to "create a table", which was designed to help them identify the pattern and later write the explicit rule for said pattern, but some smartasses drew a table. A four-legged, flat-topped table. I debated giving partial credit, but decided against it.
Once a student said he was going to write something down in his not-e-book. ESL student.
milqi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a film history and appreciation elective to high school seniors. At the beginning of the year, I try to get a sense of what they know about films and film-making. Hence, the following exchange:
Me: What do we need to make a movie?
Student: Equipment
Me: Could you be more specific?
Student: All the equipment.
Notext2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but back in the 90s I coached girls select u14 soccer. When filling out the player information sheet one of the girls answered the question "Who to contact in case of emergency?" 911.
Technically correct but not what we were looking for.
Definition of 'scavenger': animals with graves in their bellies
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (I know, I'm being one of those people), but we had one assignment for our career class in 8th grade where we were supposed to introduce ourselves and tell some other facts about ourselves, including what we wanted to do when we grew up. At the end of this one girl's presentation, the teacher asked her what she planned to do for a career because she never mentioned it and, dead serious with a hair flip, smile and all, she responded, "I'm just gonna grow up and marry a rich guy."
What's even better though are the questions which you can't answer incorrectly unless you're lying, but someone still gets it wrong. In middle school, one kid got asked his middle name and he sat there stammering for a full 10 seconds because he legitimately forgot his middle name.
Kids were supposed to write about their dreams in the future. However, since they are beginning English students (ESL), some mistakes are common, like confusing b & d. A student wrote that they want to be a fisherman, and they love to see fish in the sea. They ended their paragraph with "That is my bream."
My brother was taking a theatre class in college. A bonus question on a test was "Draw a picture of Shakespeare." My brother drew a picture of a duck and wrote "Nobody knows what Shakespeare looked like, so here's a duck with a goatee."
Was teaching a 'motor skills' class to a pre school where I taught them how to throw and kick.
Had the 3 and 4 year old kids warm up by chasing me in a circle around the gym. Did our two laps and waited for the stragglers to gather. Turned to the first kid in line and asked: "You looked gassed!"
EDIT: For clarity.
Kid behind him yells: "I HAVE GAS!" and resumes picking his nose.
Kid 1: Nice jump!
Me: Thanks, I practiced a lot!
Kid 2: My cat can jump higher than that.
Me: Oh yeah? Well I can eat more than your cat, and have a job!
Kid 2: Her JOB is to eat!
Kid: Are you REALLY going to do that?
Me: No, I was just being ironic. Do you know what an ironic joke is?
Kid: Mean?
Not a teacher but in my high school honors history class our professor would give us a trivia question every day to go home and look up and then the next day he would ask it again, we would write the answer on a piece of paper, and he would walk around the room and give everyone who got it correct an extracredit point.
Well one day he asks us, "What state has the only triangular flag?" He walks back a few rows and gets to the desk of this one girl who hasn't written anything down. She looks up at him and says audibly and enthusiastically, "I don't know how to spell it but it's Ohio!" Took the class awhile to get back on track.
When I was in first grade they wanted me to skip to second, so they brought in a professional of some sort to give me a bunch of tests, one of which assessed my vocabulary. Looking back I know I did well; I was able to answer all of the questions except for one, but at the time I was really embarrassed and upset. When I got back home, I told my mom, "I took a test to go to second grade, but I had to tell the lady that I don't know what poverty means"
I work in preschool and we often ask the kids to tell us something about their drawing, whether it's what it's supposed to be or just something about how they made it.
I had this little boy bring me a drawing of a stick figure. It's all he ever draws. He also words things very strange and it's usually really adorable.
He said, "I think you should find my words with this marker"
I replied, "okay, what should I write about your drawing?"
Not a teacher but a counselor. I mentioned that something was "water under the proverbial bridge." He got a confused look on his face and said, "the Proverbial bridge isn't even in this country!"
Not a teacher, but on a cruise me and my family went to a comedy show when me and sister were younger. The comedian who has been on a lot of cruises was telling us the stupidest things people have asked or said whole on a cruise. The best one was a woman asking: "What religion are those peole with the patches behind their ear?" (people often wear these patches to prevent sea sickness). This guy passing by said "Maybe they are Apache!". It was the funniest thing me and my sister had ever heard at the time. I think we kept repeating it the whole cruise much to my parents dismay.
DumCunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am no teacher but this is how i get away with chewing gum in class, When the teacher asks whats in my mouth i say a insoluble breath mint. Gets them every time ;)
A friend of a friend of mine (we'll call him Max) was in a high school class with a rather young, easygoing teacher. The classroom environment was such that the teacher and students would tease back and forth without any hurt feelings.
At one point the class was joking that this teacher lived with his mom. He simply says, "No, I don't live with my mom."
Max perks up and says, "Oh, okay. You want her number?"
During a test in Industrial Arts, one of the questions was
"What is this feature called? [picture of counterbore] Name:..............."
I couldn't remember the right name for a counterbore so I just wrote my name in the 'Name:' field. Mr Reddington marked me wrong, even though I got my name right.
i was a fellow student, but i still have a good answer.
a physics...quiz? it wasn't an exam, but it had like 10 hard problems on it. there was an extra credit question:
Give an example of an amorphous solid.
looking back, i'm not sure we ever covered it. the teacher was known to be good, but hard. not surprised he would ask a really hard extra credit question.
2 students got it right, out of a class of 32. one really smart kid, not really surprised. the other was Pat. i imagine he grew up to be a great drinking buddy working construction. he played football, wasn't a jerk, but MAYBE had a B - average. just a little below average on things. he had no clue, so he wildly guessed:
Durring an Earth Science class we had the class write answers anonymously and hand them in on a piece of paper to be read aloud by the teacher (I was an aide). He question was, "What does nearly ever city and town have near it?" Almost every student answered correctly, near the end of saying "A body of water" over and over, the teacher pauses and starts chuckling and says, "A reservation?" The entire class including myself burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Havent laughed that hard to this day, nearly 15 years later.
My little brother had an assignment where they had to use new words in a sentence and draw a picture. He was probably in first grade. One of the words was "laugh". His sentence was "I LOL" and his picture was a stick figure with word bubble "hahaha".
I teach 7th grade Texas history. Question was "describe the cattle drive era in 3 sentences". Answer was "they drove the cattle. They killed the cattle. They made burgers."
gryph06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the beginning of Grade 9 English we were going over some vocabulary and were asked to list definitions for a set of words.
When we were taking them up as a group, (students marking each other's), my friend led me to my embarrassment by reading my definition of the word 'flaunt' out loud. I had listed that flaunting was to "merrily hop or skip around like a cow". The whole class erupted in laughter, and my teacher spent the next minute or two trying to justify my answer to make me feel better.
Not me but I witnessed it. I'm taking a Harry Potter class in college and my teacher was going over some theories with us involving characters. He began to explain to us that dumbledores brother apparently got in trouble for "inappropriate acts with a goat". He used this example as implied sexuality in children's literature as we were going over queer theory.The next slide was of dumbledores brother holding a baby goat in a somewhat provocative manner and he told us we need to look for the deeper meaning in things we're reading because children's literature hides things from us. He was asking purely as a joke what a goat could possibly mean, obviously gesturing towards its obvious nonsensical absurdity. One girl goes just quiet enough for us to hear "...he likes kids." Everyone lost it for a good 5 min.
I teach high school ESL to recent arrivals from Latin America. We were going over landforms and they had to draw a comic. The assignment was to draw an alien coming to America and seeing all these new landforms he hasn't seen before. Nearly every single one I got back, was an immigrant. I should've said Space Alien, I guess.
More than a little late, but I have a good story for this. When I was teaching english in Korea I had an assignment where I'd split the students into groups and then each group had to make a picture of a zoo. They had to label the animals and tell me how many there were of each. I'd let the students pick what animals the zoo had and how many (up to 12) as a whole, then each group would give me their interpretation.
For this particular class, someone picked 12 tigers, which is a tall order what with all the stripes to draw and everything. They had about 25 minutes to draw, and as I was walking around I noticed one group of girls hadn't even started on their tigers with less than five minutes to go. I told them they might want to hurry and they started conversing quickly in Korean.
Soon the timer rang and I went around to see what everyone had come up with. When I got to the back of the room where the group of girls was I looked over their picture to see what they had done about the tiger problem. I found two-and-a-half completed tigers and a hastily drawn sign in the tiger pen that said in English "Other tigers are die." I started busting up laughing and told them I was sorry for their loss.
Creative thinking like that was somewhat of a rare skill in a lot of the students I taught, so I was actually quite proud of their ability to think outside the box.
Happened in one of my classes. It was an economics class in high school. We had to do flash cards on different economics terms. Our teacher was grading them as we were busy with a different assignment. I sat right next to the desk of the teacher. He called a student over and said, "[student], this isn't the right definition of 'interest'"
The student had put that the definition of interest was, "the state of wanting to know or learn about someone or something."
The teacher tried to be discreet about it but I was too close to miss it. Very hard not to laugh.
My sons teacher was showing the class a picture of an octopus and asked the class "how do you make an octopus laugh? "My son says "tickle his testicles! I mean tentacles!"
I swear this has been asked at least 3 times by now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my small contribution.
i teach chemistry labs, once a student of mine, wrote (descirbing a long stirring step in the experiment), "and then, you stir until your hands fall off". i found that funny.
I was the student. High school history; we were learning about the Acadians and how the fur trade was opening up western Canada. Teacher goes on to explain how the French government started sending prostitutes over so that the traders would have..."something to do in the vast Canadian wilderness".
Without hesitation, kid at the back says, "that doesn't even make sense. Yesterday you said Acadia was full of beaver."
We lost it.
MeiHota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just finished our moon unit in 3rd grade. One of test questions has a picture of the sun with four of the planets revolving. I can't remember the exact question but it was something like which one would most likely be the hottest. They want you to pick mercury because it is closest so should be hottest. I had one student write on his test "I know Venus is hotter but the test wants be to pick the other one so I am." 3rd grade. He is destined for great things.
I was making a list on my overhead of items a native tribe was known for trading that included "nuts, corn." Student in the back of the room raised his came and with a straight face asked if it said "nuts.com".
I once had a test question in a social studies or history class about the Goddess of love, and I wrote hermaphrodite. Teacher gave me full credit for that one haha
Not a teacher but it was me who did this. It was an algebra test and the question was something about finding how high a cannonball would be at a certain time after it was shot. The teacher phrased the question wrong and said "at what height will the CANNON be at x time?" So me being the lazy clever person I am (I also forgot/didn't want to plug the numbers into the formula) said 4 feet because the cannon doesn't move. (The cannon was 4 feet off the ground which was necessary info for the problem. I received full credit and she told the whole class about it the next day. I didn't know whether to be proud or if everyone was mad I got a free point.
Teacher: Solve this diffEQ spring and damping problem.
Me: (coming from a physics C background, I write gravitational acceleration as negative)
Teacher: Answer is incorrect, gravity is in the wrong direction.
Me: Didn't you say we were doing this problem in Australia?
Teacher: Well...
Class: laughs
When my little brother was in first grade, he had to answer a question that was something like "what is the person that delivers mail called?" (our language is not English, I'm not sure if the ambiguity translates well) and he wrote something like "Michael" instead of "mailman".
dmcq6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother was student teaching a history class after getting his masters in education. As an extra credit question he asked, "who was the hero at the battle of New Orleans?"... one student answered Drew Brees. My brother gave him the extra credit.
On mobile, so sorry for formatting. Not a teacher but when I was in high school we were covering World War II and my teacher had a picture of the English Channel up on the projector that had "English Channel" in giant letters at the top. One of my friends was talking so the teacher calls on him.
Teacher: What is this a picture of?
Student: Umm the sky?
The class is all laughing at this point so after a long pause...
Student: and water!
2nd grade and on our unit test about communities one of the questions was "what is something people have done to improve your community?" And someone answered with a labeled picture that said "Pluckers Wing Bar"....couldn't argue with him.
In my sophomore year in high school health class (94), the teacher introduced our first topic for the week, sex education. Some people giggled, some people laughed but he put a stop to that real quick. He said "at no point will there be any experiments, there will be no labs! And any inappropriate jokes will result in pops for the boys and detention for the ladies. For some reason after his speech I automatically blurted out" well, I guess we we can all look forward to the oral part of this class. " The class erupted in laughter as well as the teacher. Said that was the the funniest thing he heard while teaching sex Ed and then abruptly asked me to leave the class and meet him in the hallway. Funniest pops I ever received.
This was in 2011. We had just watched a documentary on presidents.
Me: tell me something special about South Korea's president .
Student: she is not dead.
I teach high school math. I have kind of grown accustom to the "technically" correct answers since they see the joke, "find x " and there is an arrow pointed that says here it is, and think it is the best thing since sliced bread.
But I also teach a robotics class and those kids are a little more creative. I was doing a demonstration where if you have the lights off and you flip the switch super fast to on then right back to off then the lights won't turn on. I ask the simple question, why doesn't the light turn on? Some kid goes "because you keep turning them off".... I giggled.
I was in Driver's Ed and our teacher always told us, "Even if you don't know the answer, it is better to put something in the blank than nothing at all."
So our test was coming up and one question I couldn't figure out:
'What does PBT stand for?'
So remembering what the teacher said about not leaving anything blank I wrote:
'Probably bananas or Tangerines'.
The next week before class started he announced my answer to the whole class. Everyone laughed and he gave me the correct answer:
'Preliminary Breath Test'
At the end of our course all of his classes were gathered in one day for a final test and the teacher said,
"Now remember, even if you don't know the answer, keeping it blank is worse than nothing at all. But try and keep it n educated guess, not like 'probably bananas or tangerines' like Notyouraveragetomboy did.
Everyone who was in his other classes looked at me laughing and one kid said,
"That was you?"
We all got a kick out of it.
Teacher gave me 100% just because I did follow his instructions.
(Physics teacher talking aboutโ thin film interference today)
Describe what you see when you look at a bubble? I expected them to say they see a rainbow of colors. What did they say? "They are round and they float kind of".
woxo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student but in my year 13 English class we were discussing The Wife of Bath and all her marriages.
The teacher ask a student what he thought about the Wife's monogamy, in which he replied, she manipulates men into marrying her, to which our teacher asked, "is that your opinion of marriage Will." To which he replied, "no sir, its my opinion of women."
To which the whole class broke out in laughter (he was being facetious of course)
Oh! I have a good one.(I was teacher's aid so I did most of the grading and stuff)
basically there was this reading comprehension that was about jack and he has passion in swimming and bla bla bla.
The question was: Why did jack swim across the lake?(We were looking for examples of finding evidence from the passage and stuff)
and this kid wrote: Because he can.
For a) what is a remainder: "the leftover amount" and b) provide an example (most kids used 10รท3 with a remainder of 1): "when my mom makes too much spaghetti we have leftovers with the remainder"
Not a teacher, but when I was in fourth grade we had our first year of Spanish class. We were learning basics like numbers and body parts etc. a friend of mine, known as the class clown of sorts, was raising his hand and answering every question the teacher had with the English word and then just adding "o". Heado, armo, leggo, houseo- anything. The teacher was getting so frustrated that we all became uncomfortable and didn't really want the class clown to continue, second hand embarrassment. She threatened to kick him out if he did it one more time. Then she asked "does anyone know how to say stomach in Spanish?" My friend very slowly and with a nervous look on his face and said "stomacho?" Our teacher tried to get mad for a second, but ended up collapsing in laughter.
My sister is a preschool/pre kindergarten teacher (ages 3 and 4). She had one little 3 yr old boy who was obsessed with superheros. All he talked about was superheros and how he is one too.
One day during snack time, my sister was listening to all the little conversations going on around the table when she heard this gem.
Simon: "So last night I was flying outside and rescued a kitty!"
Little girl: "Simon, can I tell you something? You are NOT a superhero."
Simon was crushed for about 10 minutes, decided the little girl was wrong, and resumed his superhero persona. My sister said she almost peed herself laughing.
Student but one our teacher was calling on people to read their answers to a test. Mind you the test was multiple choice, and rotated letter answers. First question the answers were A,B,C or D. Second question was E,F,G, or H. Then repeating. When the teacher called on someone the student mostly answered with the answer to the question not just the letter affiliated with the answer. Got called on and accidentally said the letter 'F', then tried correcting myself by saying the answer 'You'
tl;dr told my teacher F you in front of entire class.
A friend of mine was student teaching and they were talking about September 11th. They were asked what they would do if they were in that situation and this kid with Tourette syndrome yells "GET THE FUCK OUT"
mobit80 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here we go kids.
I live in a small Texas town, and we had a test in a forensic science class where we were supposed to identify evidence as biological, manufactured, or an impression. One person in our class our class put impression for semen. We asked what she was thinking when she heard that word and responded, 100% serious, "like..... Concrete?". The entire class burst into laughter and then her friend explained to her the essentials of the reproductive cycle. The truly disappointing part of all of this is that she's a senior, meaning she's taken biology.
TL;DR: cement = babies because small town sex ed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Philosophy prof. Walks into the classroom on midterm day and asks, "any questions before we begin the exam?" To which a student replied, "Yeah, where do babies come from?"
Got one myself (and from the replying side to change a bit). I was 3 at the time, and my parents began searching what school I could get into (just roll with it, the same way you may roll eyes on the "rich snub kid" prejudice. Living in third world country here) and one of the schools demanded a psych evaluation from all of the possible candidates.
With context out of the way, as well as formalities, here's the interaction:
Q: Who lives in the sea?
A: Ships and fish.
Needless to say, I caused quite the impression.
(My parents told me this story when I was 15-ish and I haven't had a bad moment every day I remember it. Based on what they gathered, the Psychologist still remembered the answer for quite some years)
In an art class in grade school, the teacher asked a student to draw the curtains. After a few minutes she stopped her lecture to ask the student if he was going to close them. Turns out he was drawing them in his notebook.
Not a teacher, I actually gave this answer and never really lived it down. I took a lit class my freshman year and we were tasked to read this coming of age in America book (I forget the name). As this was my least prioritized class, I ended up not reading the book, but many of my peers did and seemed to enjoy it. I got word that there would be a pop quiz before class started and asked my classmates about the book. I got the overall gist of things and buckled down to take the test. One of the last questions on the test asked who the protagonist made love to after he climbed to the highest peak of some mountain. Now, I was aware that this character masterbated when he got to the top, but since I never read the book, I didn't get much context beyond that. So the answer I wrote was "himself".
After giving this quiz, the professor really wanted a group understanding of this book so he went through all of the answers to the test. When we get to the final question, the entire class erupts to say "the world!" (apparently the protagonist was metaphorically making love to the world by jackin it). Well, i didn't want to get the answer wrong so I piped up and asked if we could still get credit if we wrote himself.
Of course everyone laughed, I turned red, but technically I was correct and was given credit by my professor. Fun times.
TY_SM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some question in the math book that was trying to make the assignment more "fun/creative". The rest of the questions were dealing with fractions and using a bakery/cupcakes for the story problems.
Question: "If you had your own bakery what type of cupcakes would you sell? Draw a picture of it below."
While teaching hibernation in biology class, I asked why Yogi Bear never celebrated X-mas. Kid quickly said "because he was Jewish. I laughed. The kids didnt. It was a stupid bunch of kids.
I was showing my students an iconic picture of a German bomber flying over the Thames in east London, and I asked the class of Year 8's (Grade 7 in North America) what it was a picture of.
The chatterbox in the front row raises his hand and goes "Oh Sir, is that where they film EastEnders?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a dietary source of calcium and/or iron?
"Hard water"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember, when you put the hardware into the motherboard, we treat it like treating a women.."
Not a teacher but in highschool oceanography the teacher asked us to make a mnemonic phrase for the directions on a compass and some girl said Never Ever Smoke Weed and the teacher had nooooo idea whether she should go with it or not
When I was in first grade I did a few funny things.
We were learning about adjectives. Teacher wrote a few on the board as we suggested them.
The board was full of adjectives, "fun, cute, silly, big, happy, ugly, red, fast, etc" you know, first grader words.
We then had an activity where we paired off and to had to write an adjective to describe our partners.
Some time passed and I was distracted by something actually fun for a first grader. Teacher says "only a minute left!" Shit! I didn't write anything down to describe my partner, Adam. I hurried up and wrote down the first word I saw on the board.
Yep. I wrote down ugly! I didn't even know how to read the word at the time so I didn't know what it meant from reading it nor how to pronounce it. When it was my turn to say what I wrote about Adam I tried to read the word but it didn't come out right.
"Did you say that Adam was ugly?" I was too young to articulate what I'd done so I just rolled with it. Funny thing, looking back, he is and was an ugly fucker.
Needless to say, I upset the teacher.
We were working on something in a workbook. Some fill in the blank with a word bank. I wasn't paying attention, and teacher says "everyone should try to answer at least one question." Still lost but wanting to make my teacher happy, I waited. I let the other kids answer until there was one more blank. As soon as teacher asked I shot my hand straight up. "Ok, what's the answer?" "bicycle", I said. Teacher asks "How did you know that was the answer?"
I saw a student yawning at his desk, so I walked up to him and said, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" To which he replied "Yes, but I forgive you. I know you can't help it."
Happened to my mother's friend, who was a kindergarten teacher in France. They had once a magician performing in school, and he stopped mid-trick, asking the children : "Well kids, what's the magic word ?"
All children answered : "Pleeaaaaaaaaaase, Mister !"
chrizal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in maths we had a question where it asked why each person in an eight-person tennis tournament didn't have a one in eight chance of winning. We were supposed to say "It's based on skill" but one kid said "One player might die in the middle of a match."
He got the mark.
alakota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Below the questions teacher wrote "Each question is 10 points"
And I decided to write the only exact questions again. Then I got 100/100
I was the student in this scenario, but in fifth grade my teacher was explaining sarcasm and understanding it within readings. And she asked the class if anyone had any examples of sarcasm. Me being the young intellectual I was, proceeded to say, "you look very pretty today Ms. Hankins."
She walked over to my home room teacher dying and told her, and the class that was in there heard the story as well. From then on I was the kid who called the teacher ugly and got away with it.
bob_oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in third grade, we got to dress up as what career we wanted. Sports uniforms, toy stethoscopes, etc. One kid looked like he didn't even care. Just a plain black hoodie sweatshirt.
Teacher: (sarcastically) Dylan, what career are you supposed to be?
Dylan: A gangster.
Teacher: Forget it.
First grade, students had to color in a banana. 6-year old girl colored it green. Teacher marked it wrong. Girl said: "I know bananas are yellow, but this one isn't ripe yet, so it's still green."
Excellent, creative answer, if you ask me. Teacher still marked it wrong - "what am I supposed to do, the answer key says yellow".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late to the party, but in Year 2 we had a spelling test and one of the words was to spell "can't". And I remember when the teacher came up to me and asked if I knew what I wrote and I had no idea what she was going on about. She laughed and brushed it off and told me not to worry. Later I realised that I must have wrote "can't" wrong and instead just wrote cunt.
Middle school vocal music teacher here. Cooperating teacher asked me to work with the Eighth grade guys in a sectional rehearsal on stage, and I said (unwittingly...) OK, I'm here to check your Parts. Luckily, it kind of went over their heads.
physchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On my Fall semester final, I asked, "Did you learn anything this semester?" I thought it would be an easy question for students to tell me what they felt they had learned.
Student answered no. And I learned how to better phrase my questions!
Supporting in a science class - the teacher asked about food chains, starting with grass and asking the students to name an animal that eats grass -
Best answer?
Lawnmower....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In second grade, we were asked to draw something that exists in winter and we were given white sheets of paper. I remember raising my hand and saying that I finished -- asked what it was, I said "a lot of snow".
Teacher wasn't having it so I was told to do something else and just made 3 circles and said it was a snowman with snow around him.
I'm not a teacher but this is an answer I've given.
So my English teacher was talking about euphemisms and he told us the phrase "Powder one's nose" and he apparently mentioned that the girls will probably do this during break so instantly, I thought of cocaine and I said out loud "Drugs!" And the answer was "Makeup"...
My friends told me afterwards that he mentioned the girls will do it during break so I got paranoid that the girls thought that I thought they were druggies haha
Gonna get buried, but anyway.
I'm at university in Austria studying to become an EFL teacher. I held one lesson in a class of twelve-year-olds and our lesson goal was to teach them about everything they can, could or have to do on weekends (chores and the like).
We had one very... active kid who was constantly trying to give answers and at one point he wanted to say vacuum cleaner but did not know the word:
"Th, uhhm, the, the, uhhm, the machine to, to... to put the dirty away! The dirty machine!"
Well suffice to say I did my best not to laugh out loud.
d4vid1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid there was a "write the word that goes with this" type test. One was salt, as in salt and pepper. I wrote "vinegar". I liked chips...
Was subbing for a Spanish class and the kids were learning about clothes and etiquette. One of the assignments I was left with tasked them to fill in a story with what a person should do in the situation.
One of the issues said "George got invited to Cecelia's party, and wants to look nice for the occasion. What will he be wearing?"
The key I had showed that the teacher was looking for a list of cloths like "Socks, jeans, shirt, sweater, tie, hat, etc."
But one of the kids was pretty sly. When asked what George will wear to the party the kid wrote "fiesta ropa."
Was teaching a debate class where the topic was "dogs are better than cats". One student wrote an entire speech on how dogs are better than cats because you can eat dogs. He found evidence of people eating dogs and put together a well supported argument. He also kept a straight face the entire time looking 100 percent serious. A job well done.
(Me pointing to a picture of a gorilla)
"What's this?"
Student "it's the people father!"
Gandeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My exs mother worked at a Catholic school for kids around 5, the nuns would come in and check on their religious eduction, they used to not let the teacher re-phrase the question, so where forced to ask 'what did you learn during Passover' while my fav certainly wasn't correct.. i hope (my mummy is a spider), one kid told us his daddy has a dungeon and another said he likes sausages.
My grandma told me that my cousin when playing football was running around with his hands flailing around in the air instead of kicking the ball. She asked him why after the game and he replied "to scare the enemy"
This will get buried but freshman year I took a feminist studies class. It was me, a class full of very pro-women women, and one Japanese guy still working on his English. One day the TA asks why we think women aren't allowed in the front lines of the military, which there are many possible reasons one could list but Asian dude stands up on his feet and says "because of their physical limitations"
Thinking he was referring to strength and athletic ability, the TA interrupts him and tells him maybe he should rephrase as a room full of offended women snap their heads in his direction. Japanese dude proudly corrects himself with "sorry... temporary inconveniences"
I don't think anyone else in the room was thinking that, which made it extra funny.
In school in a maths test there was a question about volumes of shapes and it was done using making cakes as the scenario. The final question was what shape tin would you use and why? Some kid answered 'the round one so you don't burn the corners' not technically wrong.
Sanebow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a Japanese high school. On the last exam I gave, one of the questions highlighted from the previous semester was, "What stresses you out?" One girl wrote "Testes stress me out." While this is not technically an incorrect sentence, it is a far cry from the study sheet answer of, "Tests stress me out." I had the giggles for a good ten minutes and all my Japanese co-workers were very confused.
During a statistics lesson on interpreting information from a table, I asked one of my 8-year old pupils to look at the table to help him find the answer. He lifted the worksheet, lowered his head and looked at the table!
Not a teacher, but I was facilitating a camp one year and the majority of our participants had ESL.
When they first arrive we get them to fill in a questionnaire that just has simple questions about them selves which we then make in to one book to share around with everyone there so we can all learn about each other.
One of the questions was 'What is your favourite drink?' to which someone wrote 'cock...' more than likely meaning Coke...
It's an awful thing to laugh at because English is hard but, damn...
Worked at a fast food store a little while back. Many Asian and Indian people sound like they are ordering 'cock' (my bad hearing does not help me very much whwn accents are thrown into the mix) instead of coke. It's hard not to laugh when someone wants a diet cock.
nasif10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student who witnessed this when we we're reading of mice and men.
Teacher:Lennies character killing his dog conveys the future event of his death because of how he is treated like an animal.
Student:or he's just retarded sir and thought it was a toy
The question was what country did columbus sale for? They said Italy.
rand486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in grade 6 (French Immersion, as you'll see soon), the teacher was grading while we worked on the assigned work. He suddenly started chuckling to himself. He was a known prankster, so we all looked up to see what was funny. He read a student's explanation of a historical event in the quiz:
C'est une chose. (It's a thing)
We all laughed at the simplicity, and he responded:
Well, it's true! I'm going to give him a half mark.
Not a teacher but an exemplar test question in our lessons read something like "why must the sampling rate of digitally stored sounds be twice that of its highest frequency". The exemplar answer read "Because Nyquist says so". For two marks. We have a little class uproar at this and move on. Our course providers are not smart, this happens a little too often.
A few weeks later, in a mock exam, the exact same question arises. I am pretty sure the whole class wrote the same thing. We all got the marks though, because you cant deny the exemplar paper...
PE teacher here. I once gave a written test on nutrition where one question was written a bit badly - but hey - I'm a PE teacher.
q: What is best to drink after physical excercise?
A: Water - water is the best drink. For instance Coca Cola since it contains more than 80% water.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lesson on American values by looking at celebrities. The students get a carousel of celebrities and in the space around their picture, write what they believe the celebrity values (could be athlete, actor, musician, etc.).
Last semester, I used Bruno Mars in the carousel. A student wrote "getting funked by uptown." Technically not wrong, maybe sort of inappropriate, but I laughed for a while and now when I use Bruno Mars I share that story.
Student
Probs very late but oh well. I had a test on Physics and the question paper was on PDF. One question was on the lines of "What is the pressure exerted on this piece of paper by the atmosphere" to which I answered "none. My paper is digital, hence it does not experiance any atmospheric pressure". Teacher had a chuckle, got full marks
cvbk12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this happened while I was at school.
Kid was talking when he shouldn't have been, teacher was like "oh, I'm sorry" (as if it was her interrupting his conversation), he simply replied "that's okay, just don't let it happen again".
I've never seen a teacher so angry but so confused at the same time. She literally just went and sat down after that, didn't say anything.
drorr26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 5th year biology class in secondary school in Ireland we were talking about vaccinations. I was half asleep as per usual and was not paying attention. The teacher asked "Can anyone tell me what a 3-in-1 is".
Now we all know that the answer is the MMR vaccine (measles, mumps and rubella). But i other hand, not really listening properly, but my hand to up straight away (mostly to prove that i was still awake and paying attention) and said "Curry, Rice and Chips miss"
The whole class laughed, i was clueless as to why and i was sent out of class to stand in the hallway!!
i was 17 at the time !!!
Asked the students what happenies was and one blurted out "dirt!" I said "Ok, prove it". He left the room then came back and put a handful of dirt on the desk. Everyone was laughing their ass off and he said "see?"
Teaching English to a college boy as a third language. Asked him to describe a couple of paintings in the room we were sitting in, came across one with mountains and a waterfall. While describing it, he insisted "waterfall down"
Was an English teacher in France and had to teach directions/locations. I pointed to the church and a student confidently said "La poubelle" which, in English, means "rubbish bin".
olvirki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. A test rehearser my class used got the following question when he was taking the class (1st year genetics, university) him self. "What is outside the nucleus?". He answered, "the universe!", and it was marked correct.
Not a teacher but hey ho, back in High school my friend and I are in a music class and we've got a substitute teacher taking the lesson. She's going on and on about music theory so we're all nearly asleep, but then she asks us, "what's an important factor of musical performance that you can control?" and my friend miraculously jumps up from his chair and shouts "Ya Bowels!!!" instantly slayed the entire class, even the woman sat at the back grading this substitute teacher is crying. I'll never forget that teachers face. Priceless.
A friend of mines in 8th grade while in English class after reading some text he was asked "Did the man who was described by the protagonist have a job?" (In the book the descriptions of the man were that of a homeless person) My friend replied "Yes, he has a job". The teacher replied "What job did he have?". He said "Oh, he is self-employed". LOL'd a bit afterwards
In 5th grade they had a program for students that were faster learners then everybody also and would pull them out of class whenever the class was working on math or English, the teacher recommended me to for the advanced class and the teacher came and gave me a few tests. She gave me a piece of paper with 6 images and said start naming similarities between the images so I'm naming stuff and one of my answers is they are all on the same paper. The teacher looked at me and said no one has ever said that response before. I got in the advanced program.
Well, I'm the student but this story seems fit. My elementary school teacher once told us to draw a chicken. Me being me, draw a black fried chicken, didn't know I was a racist back then.
93devil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am six feet tall. The idiots who hung the TV in one of my classrooms, placed it about 5 feet 10 inches off the ground.
One day I'm trying to do something for a really smart kid was not really being very smart about something, and I was trying to get him going in the right direction. So, I was agitated.
I was bending over to help him and when I lifted up, I banged the top of my head on the bottom of the TV mount. It hurt like hell. I took the palm of my hand and slammed it down on a student's desk and said something. The student's eyes got like the guy fishing in Caddyshack. Point of reference - http://s213.photobucket.com/user/RecoilTherapy/media/Caddyshackfisher.jpg.html
The class goes dead silent. I'm just rubbing my head.
I finally break the silence by saying, "I'm sorry. That really hurt."
Then I ask, "Did I swear?"
I hear a bunch of mumbled noes from the students, who are a wicked smart group.
Then one girl slowly raises her hand in the back of the class...
When I was working as a tutor at an elementary school, I had the honor of evaluating some of the kindergarten kids. There was this one little girl who's answer had myself and the teacher cracking up. We were going over shapes and just asking for the names in English and Spanish. She nailed the big ones like Circle/Circulo, Triangle/Triangulo, and Square/Cuadrado. But when the Rectangle/Rectangulo came up, she wasn't quite sure. So I asked her if she knew it in either language. At first she was quite hesitant, but then this huge smile just stretched across her face. It was one of the moments where the smile is contagious. Anyways. She just smiled right at me and shouted, "Cuadrado largo?". Spanish for "Long Square". I couldn't help myself, I had to let out a laugh. It was such an adorable and silly moment. I got myself together and gave her a high five and we moved onto some numbers. One of my favorite memories of that job.
I'm really surprised that isn't standard knowledge for a seventh grader.
Edit: looks like this is a Britain vs America thing, we learn algebra earlier (or at least we push it on the smart kids earlier).
Studying embryonic development in high school. I asked for two reasons women shouldn't drink alcohol. Answer: pregnant women should not drink because they might drink too much and get in a car accident and hurt the baby with the shoulder strap. So yeah, technically his answer was correct if only he had given me one more reason!
When I was in grade 8, we had a History exam and there was an essay part "Write about nationalism in France in the 1800s", I hadn't paid attention during the lectures nor prepared for the exam in any way, so I just answered "There was nationalism in France in the 1800s."
My teacher had drawn a frowny face next to my answer and gave me a single point (out of 12).
You are camping near a clear stream. You notice a gold nugget glittering in the water. You pick it up and it's heavy -- the weight of a can of soda. (Use current market prices to estimate the value of this gold. Explain your reasoning.)
One student was way off and valued his nugget at two million dollars.
His reasoning was that his nugget was naturally in the shape of Jesus Christ so it's worth more. No math explained.
As someone who has used rubber bands to tie her hair back in emergencies, I'm imagining all my hair being pulled out of my head when I try to take this rubberband skull cap off.
My son told me this. 9th grade Biology class they were studying reproduction of fish and he had just explained how after the female lays the eggs, the male then passes over and fertilizes them with sperm. Whereupon one of the boys in in the room shouts," How do fish ejaculate , they don't have hands?". My son almost busted a gut holding back his laugh. The other kids in the class were nonplussed by my sons reaction.
In 2nd grade I decided to draw a picture of bullfighting after we were told to choose something to draw from one of the countries we had been learning about. Of course I drew an awesome picture of two bulls going head to head.
My teacher was a little tactless in telling me that isn't what bullfighting actually means considering the amount of effort I had put into it.
You're a city planner, in charge of designing roads. Concrete has a friction coefficient of 1.0 when dry, and .5 when wet. Asphalt has a friction coefficient of .75 when dry, and .6 when wet, what should you make roads out of? He was looking for "asphalt because it's more dangerous when it's wet out, thus giving you better control in dangerous situations," OR "Concrete because it's better when dry, and most of the time dry conditions are present."
Some guy just wrote "Asphalt because it's cheaper."
The reason he was showing me some of these is because on Day 1, his first lesson to us was that speed is relative. He held a tennis ball up and said anyone who can guess how fast this is moving gets a candy bar or whatever - we all guessed 0 because it wasn't moving. He then explained to us that no matter what answer we gave, we were wrong because to an observer not on earth, it's moving ~500 miles per hour due to the rotation of Earth. "Zoom out" even further and it's moving even faster, due to Earth's orbit, etc etc.
So on the first test he asked us to show our work on a math problem and I added 500mph on every velocity depending on if it was going east or west - thus vastly over complicating the problem but getting the right answer, and making it a pain in the ass to grade. He said he'd give me 100% if I he could keep the exam and if I never did it again.
When I was in year 7 (in my country, I'm not sure for others), there was a question:
"What is the only way to guarantee not getting pregnant?"
You can imagine the answers teenage boys came up with, ranging from "plastic bags" to "wearing two condoms", but I was very proud of mine, as the teacher awarded me a mark for it.
"What is the only way to guarantee not getting pregnant?"
Im not a teacher but there was this girl once who asked why the teacher was named Serge. He said it's just a name, we just give names to everything, for example 'the netherlands', its just a name. She replied: 'No, nether means low' he had to sit down for a minute.
A few weeks ago, teaching English to a grade 5 class in central China, I asked the students to make sentences using 'I want' at the beginning. Firstly some context - in China it is common to have a long term partner when you're in your twenties, it's seen as a bit odd if you don't. My students had asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. So in that lesson one student said 'I want -my name- to have a girlfriend'. This is after months of them asking why I don't have one, if I want one, etc. We had to stop class for a minute due to the laughter :,)
I've never gotten over that in one of my very early on school books, there was a task where we had to colour in regular items with their colours. For the Apple I coloured it in red as red apples are my favourite, the teacher wrote next to this "bladescorner2, insisted that apples were red and not green" I'm still dumbfounded 20 years later this teacher couldn't accept my answer
Just told me I was correct and to ignore it. Wasn't the last time a teacher told me I was wrong when I wasn't, my parents just always told me some people don't think like I do
Q: When was baptism of Poland?
A: In the afternoon.
beerne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once while substituting I asked "Why is this town here? What created it and sustains it as a community?" The response I received, which was immediate, and from an 7th grader, was "Incest and Laziness...." This was from an area in rural Pennsylvania.
Not a teacher but can remember this happening in primary school!
English teacher sets the class a task on interpreting a particular part of Romeo and Juliet. She picked on a couple of students to read aloud their answer.
One lad called Danny, instead of writing about Romeo and Juliet had wrote how a light bulb works!
God knows how he managed to get it so wrong but it was so funny! Also this was year 6 in England (about 10/11 years old)
Just a witness. We were talking about how the n-word was used in Huck Finn and how there are words everyone is uncomfortable saying. My English teacher went off on a tangent and was saying her teacher forced the class to say a bunch of uncomfortable words to each other to become callous. This guy yells "ESOPHAGOUS" and I just start laughing uncontrollably. Like wtf?
My wife is a Human Biology teacher and her favourite one was:
Name a form of contraception: Dildo.
lolpan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm not the teacher but My Philosophy professor once asked for example of addictive substances. I yelled "food". he yelled "food". i almost got a high five.
fasehed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was awhile ago. But I was helping out a teacher for community service hours in the 2nd grade. They were studying animals and stuff. So the teacher shows a picture of a cartoon drawn spider with only 7 legs. The kid looks at it awhile and then concludes it has no home, the teacher looks confused and the kid explains that he is a web less spider and someone should make him a web.
Teaching religious studies, I asked a group of 12 year olds what St. Patrick was the patron saint of, and in almost perfect unison, they shouted "BEER!"
Not a teacher, but on a programming test in college, the question asked us to print a pattern like:
1
10
101
1010
10101
Now what they wanted us to do was to write a loop for it, but they didn't specify that. I was running out of time, so instead of writing out the proper code for it, I just wrote print statements for the 5 lines. Got full credit for it too.
it would have probably been fewer lines to write the loop lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of these comments include phrases such as 'smartass answer', 'sarcastically', etc. However, most of the questions are not worded precisely enough to have the 'correct' answer be the only answer. This was always a pet peeve of mine in school. It's left to the student to assume things in order to exclude other answers.
When I was a preschool teacher I was watching as one of the assistants did circle time for the after school day care program. We were starting a unit on transportation, so the assistant "read" a book on tape that was basically a song about cars, boats, rocket ships, trains, etc. Then after she began to explain to the kids that the reason she "read" the book was because we were going to learn all about transportation over the next few weeks - transportation was a new word for these kids, so she explained the word by saying everything in the book (cars, trucks, boats, etc) were all types of transportation. One little boy raised his hand, started waiving it around, and didn't even wait to be called on before shouting "No! You mean Transformers!" The assistant was super confused, I had to explain to her later how he wasn't wrong and his kid logic made perfect sense.
mws85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha.
blicq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was teaching blueprints recently, we came across the abbreviation GL. I asked the class what it meant and one student immediately shouted "Gay Latinos!". It means glazing. But in his last job, they used that abbreviation all the time as that meaning. There may so happened to be a majority of Gay Latinos who bought their cars. I guess... So it was correct, just not in the context I was looking for.
I teach math in an inner city middle school. I once had a parent tell me that I "need to treat her with respect" because she had a "master's degree in typing" and is not "your typical trap bitch". Needless to say, she was the typical trap bitch.
Damn, late as always but I have one for this! This was actually my answer, when I was super little I lived in a very small town. I lived on a farm even further outside of that town, so I picked up reading and stuff really early (nothing else to do), so I was tested to see if I could skip kindergarten. The test was a bunch of things like identifying letters and shapes and whatnot. Had absolutely no problems, until we got to the barnyard animals part. Teacher asked me "What kind of animal wakes you up in the morning" and I answered cows (we didn't have any chickens or roosters on our farm, and trust me, cows sure as shit will wake you up if nothing else does). Teacher was not convinced.
My grandfather has a story of when he was a smartass on an essay. They were given the writing prompt: "A beautiful and useful animal is the horse." His response? "Yes."
Not me, but my mum, is the teachers assisstant in a Pre Primary and the kids were learning 'it' words (fit, bit, lit) and one kid said shit. Technically not wrong.
Not a teacher, but once in my french class, we were learning new verbs, and the teacher calls on this kid to pronounce on of them. He just yells out "faire son LIT" (to make one's bed). Never before have I seen my French teacher laugh so hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in Science class, one of the questions was: "Can you make three graphs of data?" (That wasn't exactly the question, but I definitely remember that it said 'Can you' and not 'make three graphs'). Everyone else started gathering data from other members of the class and making the graphs. I just wrote 'Yes' and carried on with the questions. The teacher saw and burst out laughing.
I teach English language. I asked if anyone knew what "cemetery" meant.
"It's where dead people live. "
Aeglen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did this once:
Why will the car stop accelerating eventually despite being driven forward by a constant force? Because nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.
NB at that stage of education questions of convergence were out of scope.
English as a Second Language teacher. Had an exercise that mentioned a motel, and asked the class to tell the difference between a motel and hotel. One girl raises her hand and states "A hotel is where families stay and a motel is where a man and woman go for a few hours."
Not a teacher, so breaking the rules here but when I was studying world history and took a test on ancient religions, the first question was "Who was the founder of Christianity?" I answered "My cousin Jรฉsus."
A student, not a teacher, but still:
High school, incredibly smart nerdy guy is following an optional economics class. Teacher explains the formula for a certain calculation. Guy raises his hand and says, "Sir, I used a different method, but I arrived at the same result. Is that still correct?" Teacher asked him to show it to him after class. After class, I lingered and looked at his calculation. Teacher looks at it, frowns, grabs a sheet of paper and makes some calculations, crosses them out, makes different calculations, then finally gives up and says, "I have no idea how you did it, but the calculation's correct. But please use the method I used on the test."
I teach at a nursery school. I ha a 3 year old boy ask me for something without saying please. I said "what's the magic word?" He looked at me very confused and said "uhm.. abracadabra?"
I was an elementary teacher's aid for a year and one day while reading a story a student had a question. The teacher stopped reading to answer the question and when she went to return to reading, she had lost her place and said, "Well, now I'm lost." This student raised his hand and in all seriousness demanded, "How are you LOST? We're right HERE in this classroom." Needless to say, I lost it.
I was teaching my class about the U.S. Judicial System. One question on the homework was "How does a case get to the Supreme Court?". One student only wrote down, "We started from the bottom, now we here", which is correct, in a manner of speaking. (He got full points)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I was once given 1/2 credit on a question to an AP biology exam for answering with: "Because God made it that way."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was when I was in eleventh grade, in 1997 or '98.
In history class, the teacher asked if anyone could give an example of oral history. The girl next to me put up her hand and said, "Bill Clinton?" The whole class, teacher included, cracked up.
I had said the word Perks to a room full of 14-15 year old 9th graders and a female student age 14 asks out loud "PERKS AIN'T THAT LIKE THE PILL?"
Meneni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During pre k class kids start saying poo and pee endlessly. "What language is that?". Little girl answers in the most sweet voice: "English".
Philhos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 10th grade, my science teacher was trying to make a point about some things being plainly obvious by asking the question, "Who's buried in Grant's tomb?"
Being a big fan of the Looney Toons, I, in a clearly joking fashion, replied with "Napoleon" to which he and I and most of my class laughed at. Except this one, poor, literally blond girl. Her response was, "Really?" She actually want sure if Napoleon was the person buried in Grant's tomb.
Geology in around grade 9-10. We were learning about the island around Australia and that Indonesia had [unknown number] and a half thousand islands.. I stuck my hand up and said "how do you get half of an island..?"
I had a picture in my head off an island getting cut in half and half was just non existent any more.. But it's not half an island, it's just an island.. Only smaller then it used to be
Not a teacher, but in my 7th grade English class the teacher was explaining religious symbolism in popular culture, and asked the question "what position is superman in as he falls from the sky?" To which my 7th grade self called out "fetal position." The blank stares from the rest of the students in the class and my teachers awkward response are forever burned in my memory.
I was talking about Antarctica and explaining where it and the south pole are in relation to the rest of the Earth. A student blurts out, "So it's like the asshole of Earth?" (5th grade)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my question but best answer I heard.
Grade 3: my student walks into the shop his mom works at for lunch which is across the street from our school. Yes, our students get bused home for lunch.
Mom: Austin! Why are you here?
Austin: I missed the bus.
Mom: How!?!
Austin: Well... It left without me...
I teach college chemistry. One post-lab question asked the student to design an experiment to identify whether or not the unknown was a metal carbonate, and if so, which metal.
Student went into some detail about training a dog to detect carbonates. While dogs' noses do have an impressive limit of detection, carbonates are odorless.
DocVelo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What was the second capital of the United States under the U.S Constitution?"
"Philadelphia born and raised playin b ball was how I spent most of my days,,," and then he went on to finish the ENTIRE song writing in the margins of the test page.
It may or may not have been read aloud the next day.
I asked on a math test, where is this rational expression undefined. Someone wrote "undefined" as an answer.
Another time, I asked "Explain what allows you to isolate a variable and thereby solve for a solution." Someone wrote "Jesus"
And last, once a student wrote on a critique of my class: "I don't know what makes me say say the name of God more, sex with my boyfriend or this professor's tests..."
When my nephew was 7yo his teacher told the class they were going to do a science project. The old "find a way to drop an egg off the roof without breaking" thing. My nephew said "That is too easy, just throw a chicken off the roof."
AP US History teacher asked me "Since you and 4 others worked on your answers together, what is blah blah blah?" (Can't remember the question)
I answered with "Yes"
hbt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this student who just memorized answers I don't even know how. He would always have the correct answer and units with no workings but I could never give the point.
nl1004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not?
hbt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he didn't know how to answer the question, but instead would just memorize numbers out of the book. No workings no points unfortunately.
When I was 7 a teacher asked who the natural predator of the tomato plant is. Considering growing one in a greenhouse doesn't have that many predators.
I said the farmer.
Im 28 now. I still believe that its the farmer. Amongst other things.
Was reading a book to my english learning class in China. The page said "Dedicated to my daughter" A student asked "what does dedicated to mean?" I explained that it meant that it was written for his daughter. The student said "Well if it's written for HIS DAUGHTER, then WE don't have to read it!"
I had a history professor tell us a story about on one of his past exams, the essay question was: "What is zen". A student turned in a blank piece of paper and told the professor: "This is zen". The professor gave him an A.
Not a teacher, but I tutor some kids in KS3 physics (KS3 is school years 7-9 in the UK, for ages 11-14) and I was trying to summarise a 30-minute discussion about saving energy, which included recycling waste. I knew one of the students had zoned out, so I wanted to try catch him out. I asked him "what do we do with our waste materials?" He responded with "throw them in the bin."
We were learning about living and nonliving things. I ask for an example of a living thing. Student says cow. I ask for an example of nonliving. Student says zombie. Welllll... Well. Yeah, yep that's about right.
A friend of mine teaches Spanish to elementary students. She asked them what vacca meant, and one student raised his hand. He said, " I know, my dad has one every night.
mberre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lamshoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but on the first day of this semester in bio, we were asked what trees and PE have in common. The answer he was looking for was the link between a gym and gymosperm which trees have. My answer was that tree have leaves and leaves are green and green means go and the opposite of go is stop and another word for stop is end and I just wish PE would end. Got a good laugh out of the class and the teacher complemented me on it as well.
Good for you then, I guess. You would do well with Alzheimer's. Mortal fear for me. No big deal to you.
plorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself - this was something a classmate of mine said back in high school.
Biology class, we're covering sexual and asexual reproduction. Next to me is Brian, nice guy, loud jock type, not one who's especially sharp or quick-witted.
The teacher asks "And what are some of the pros of asexual reproduction?"
Brian, right away, shouts "It doesn't matter what you look like"
I work with technical theatre students, building sets and things like that. I walked into the workshop one day and found a student sat atop and sawing through sheet of hardboard, which he had balanced between two table (apparently all the work benches were in use). He was sat directing above the gap in the tables. My question was: What will when you cut through that?
His reply: I'll be done!
Technically yes, yes you will....
I was the student but we were doing some type of state assessment test. On the Math portion we always had one particular question where they gave us space to work the question out then a follow up question that asked how did you come to this answer. I simply wrote "see example above" or something line that
I'm a student teacher and I was teaching 7th grade science. We were talking about the difference between genetic engineering and mutation in animals. I said something like, "mutations are random/naturally occurring whereas genetic engineering involves human intervention." I had a kid raise his hand and say, "Human intervention means beastiality right??"
Not a teacher but I once checked a test paper where the instruction was to "Draw a Mouse and label its parts" and the student draw a literal mouse with labels on its anatomical parts like head, eyes, ears etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were reading the final speech from Charlie Chaplin's great dictator and I asked for something that poison's men's souls--there's a bit about it in the speech and I wanted to make it clear with a new example. One kid whispered women when the classroom was completely silent thinking.
They had to write down something they had never done before. One of my students wrote: I never died. He wasn't wrong so I marked it correctly.
I had a kid about 4 or 5 years old. Gave him a maze to complete. After 10 seconds while the others were still busy, he said he was finished. I asked him how he could be finished. He said: I jumped from here to there.
my history teacher asked us "why did the population of earth begin to rise quickly during the 1900's?" I answered faulty condoms and got sent to the principal
Once we were doing really basic cell division review, and the teacher was giving us diagrams and asking us to identify whether it's mitosis or meiosis.
One guy got picked, said meiosis, got it wrong. Teacher asks the girl next to me, who was daydreaming at the time.
Teacher (confidently, fully expecting her to not have any problems answering, hence the vague question): "Okay, [Name], what's the one that's not meiosis?"
A series of sentences where the verb is left out and the students had to fill in the appropriate word from a list. "The man _____ up the street." Correct answer: walked. The car _____ up the street. Correct answer: drove. The tank _____ up the street. Correct answer: trundled. Student's answer: blew.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL teacher: Students had to fill in the blank with the appropriate Valentine's Day Vocabulary word.
Mark told Lisa he had warm feelings for her. He felt _________for her.
Student filled in the blank with what looked like "erection"- correct answer was affection. Student was just sounding it out and forgot to cross the f.
Not marking it wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:10 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a seven year old brother and I made the mistake of watching family guy with him on the couch. One day at school, the teacher asks "What do you guys do at home?" and my brother responds with "Have inappropriate sex". Of course I found out because my parents weren't home and the school asked me to come in and speak to the principal about this...he knew me from when I was little so he wasn't surprised.
This was middle school & two kids were doing some long boring presentation. They were both quite the jokers and eventually got the entire class laughing. The teacher goes, "Alright, guys. Stop laughing! Get a grip!" They both exchange a look and reach out to grab the table in front of them. Needless to say, that only made everyone laugh even harder.
Last year, I was teaching high school science about basic genetics. On a test, there was a question to name a trait that is from the environment, one that is inherited, and one that is both.
For the inherited trait he wrote: "Money and house".
Not a teacher, but still have to tell the story because it was hilarious to me at the time.
So one time I was doing homework and my goddaughter who was 4 at the time, asked me what I was doing. At the time, I was looking over stuff pertaining to electricity, and she noticed it before I could even reply. She then proceeded to say, "Hey! That's electricity, right?" I of course said yes, because she was right. "Yeah, its electricity. I'm surprised you know what that is. Do you know what we use electricity for?" She replied, "I do! That's the stuff that comes out of the holes in the wall." I assumed she meant outlets. Next thing I heard from her was, "I'm not supposed to touch those. They are bad." I was testing her intelligence because I wanted to see just how much she knew about it, so I asked why outlets were bad. She then said, "Because if you touch them, you go electricity bye bye."
"Electricity bye bye"
She meant electrocuted
Tashgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In discussing a European trip that our school has every year, one student asked "why can't the trip be to Africa"?
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Journalism class, we were trying to name synonyms for "Destory". After a few other people went, I raised my hand and said, "Emancipation" because of the Emancipation Grills in Portal. Only when the class laughed at me did I finally understand that joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we had a test in AP US that asked who a popular socialist and I put Bernie Sanders because I couldn't remember who it was actually pertaining to
Not a teacher. But back in middle school when we were learning about world religions, and studying catholism in Florida public school, my teacher asked about the requirements to be Pope. Now keep in mind that while I was a class clown, this 70 year old was returning to teaching after having a heart attack in the middle of class. This carcass of a teacher asked us to name 1 requirement to be Pope, I raise my hand, she calls on me. I say, "the Pope needs to be Catholic." She says, "Get out of my class, you are causing me stress!"
Bac0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son, the smartass, had to answer a question about a boy doing an experiment and what did he learn at the end? He answered, "he learns if his hypothesis is correct or not." No credit but not inaccurate ๐
In 8th grade health education, we learned about multiple ways to "say no" to sexual advances, and I forgot the 5th way on one of our quizzes. So I wrote down "tell them you have AIDS," and I got credit for it :D
thehaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an essay midterm, essay just stops and student writes "I don't really know what I'm talking about or how to finish this"
Teacher: "Hi, good to meet you. Where are you from?"
Student: "My momma."
SolasV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are positive and negative feedback?" (In a biology class)
"Negative feedback is when you do something and you know your parents are gonna beat you, so you stop doing it. Positive feedback is when you're positive your parents are gonna beat you."
Well, the first half is.. Kinda right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. I'm the student that gave the dumb answer that was also technically correct.
Kindergarten Teacher: What are your parents names?
Me: Mom and dad.
Teacher: Yes, what are their names?
Me: MOM and DAD.
Teacher: I mean their real names.
Me: Mom an dad.
Teacher: What do other people call your mom and dad?
Not a teacher, but when I was in 9th grade science class our teacher asked, "What is something that everyone wakes up with? Morning...", my friend next to me told me to shout "morning wood". So I did, not realizing at the time what that term meant. The teacher and everyone in the class burst out with laughter, I got embarrassed. Turns out she was looking for "Morning BREATH"
I asked a kindergartner what comes after 999. She thought for about 15 seconds and said ten-hundred.
I was so impressed that she came to that answer on her own. It's the correct naming convention she just hadn't been told you switch to "thousand" before ten thousand, etc
I used to teach grade five classes in English to non-native speakers. I had one student who was like my little personal lesson debugger who caught me anytime I used any sort of language that was somewhat symbolic like idioms, metaphors, slang, etc. It was sometimes frustrating but often a good reminder that I needed to be more careful with my language given my students' situation. He had a very unique viewpoint and my very uneducated diagnosis is that he is on the spectrum. For this anecdote, I'm going to call him Turok.
We had a unit on exploration and I thought it would be interesting to use Google Street View Treks to virtually tour Petra. The purpose was to encourage inquisitive thinking and so I asked the class to share their questions and from those questions we tried to have discussions. After it was done I asked my class for one minute of silence. They were to think of a question they wanted answered and then write it and attach it to the "Wonder Wall". I was surprised how seriously they respected the minute of silence and the majority of students used that time with great concentration.
Most of the questions I got were exactly what you'd expect from a grade five class learning in a second language. A few questions were unintelligible and a few were fantastically thoughtful. The only one I can remember today though came from my little debugger. While all the other students spent their minute of silence wondering how many people lived at Petra or what they are, Toruk desperately wanted to know, "Why are we silent?"
Two come to mind:
1. I once had a student state that MLK, "wanted to bring people together and stuff."
2. I've had numerous students refer to the American Civil War as "The War Between the States." I usually chalk this terminology up to either being from a family of Lost Cause-types, homeschooled in the South, or both.
I gave a student an extension on their essay, and said, "will you have it in by Friday?"
And his response was, "oh yeah. My sister will be finished it by then."
A lot of semantic errors in programming, since computers are very stupid children (ex. printing a list object just gives you the reference to that list). Especially if the referenced classes are badly written.
gman343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where was Van Gogh buried?"
"In the ground"
drozell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a teachers assistant in high school and I was grading homework assignments for the freshman class. One of the questions was "what animal is at the top of the food chain?" in relation to a specific biome and the student's answer was "falcon because it's up in da sky."
debesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little bit late but in my junior year of high school my us history teacher asked rather broadly what did bill Clinton do? Without skipping a beat I said Monica Lewinsky. That was the proudest moment of my high school career.
Learning that adding "er" to a verb creates a noun that means, "one who does said verb." The teacher (not me) was going through some examples and asked my buddy, "What is a hoser?" My buddy, "uhhh...someone who toots in the bathtub and eats the bubbles."
Asked if he could tell me the name of two great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives. He said "Smo-king and Drin-king". Needless to say, I resigned!
I'm a ski instructor and about two weeks ago I had a kid pee himself. It was snowing and in an effort to cheer the kid who peed himself up another one of my kids said,
"Hey it's okay. The sky is peeing right now."
This kid is going places, not in skiing (pretty shitty skier) but places nonetheless.
my old teacher told me of someone who got a test which ask them to write what bordom was. one student wrote "This." nothing more, the student ended up getting an "F".
Not a teacher, but was in the same class.
We were learning about heat conductors and insulator and our teacher asked "When would you want a good conductor?" And the class clown said "If you were branding cows!" Some people stifle a giggle. Then when she asks "When would you want a good insulator?" And the class clown shouted "WHEN YOU'RE THE COW ABOUT TO BE BRANDED!"
And everyone, including me, was hysterical.
Not a teacher, was the student. Happened when I was 7. Was called to sit beside teacher to read a story out loud to her. I did, pointing at the words while doing so. Was told off for it, was told that's not how you read to someone. I responded, in all innocence, that I was doing it for her, so she could follow along. Yup, was an asshole then, asshole now.
VIPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class and the teacher was projecting onto the whiteboard and a student was writing in citations and such. He wrote a period after a sentence and the teacher moved the screen up. I asked where it was (the quote we were talking about) and a student replied "between the a and the e" (talking about the period the student just wrote on the white board.) I about died laughing
Had a friend taking a test in third grade. He came across a word problem along the lines of "If Timmy has these such coins, dime nickel penny, and he wants to buy a teddy bear that costs 3.98 how does Timmy pay using the least amount of coins. Friend's response was "credit card".
When I was in primary 2 (8 years old) they tried to introduce the most basic elements of algebra into our math syllabus. In one of our exams there was a question to the effect of:
2@ = 4
@ = ?
Having been an early bloomer in the "never paid attention and sucked at math" department, I had ZERO idea what any of this gibberish meant. So in a last ditch attempt to pass I wrote "@ means at".
God bless my teacher I know how hard she tried to hold it in but as she was handing out the test results later she just burst out laughing at my answer and little me was so embarrassed I teared up and fell super silent for the rest of class and for the rest of my math education for the rest of my life.
my aunt teaches final year english at an all boys school in country Ireland.
They are talking about homosexuality and my aunt asks the class what they think about socities views on gay people (Ireland being a predominantly conservative and god fearing nation)
One lad says "ah now miss, homosexuality is a bit like wifi, you get plenty of it in the city, but the further you come out to the country, not so much"
Philosophy test. Teacher grabs a chair, puts it on the table. He gives a sheet of paper to each student and sais: "You have two hours to convince me that this chair doesn't exist". Everybody is like " what the fuck do I do". Five minutes later a student gives his paper to the teacher. He reads it and states that he got an A+. Nobody understands how the fuck he did it or what he wrote. At the end of the test, a mate asks that guy what the hell did he write. He sais: "What chair?".
joeavic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but once my chemistry teacher asked about a substance that turns into solid state from liquid on heating.
I answered jalebi.
Jalebi : Indian sweet dish. When poured on hot sweet liquid, it becomes solid from liquid.
Dude. They're fried. What kind of shady jalebi were you fed? You pour the semi-solid dough (I have no better way of describing it) on a huge quantity of really hot oil and it fries (therefore solidifies) and floats on the surface.
Unless it's a really boring person, I'd like to think that the only difference between the adult and the kid is that the adult has tried the other 24 and know they don't work well
Had to take my 2nd year of biomedicine uni exams while on chemo and had a bad chest infection. The painkillers they gave me were awesome, I was high as a kite.
I was doing the human anatomy paper and there was a question about digestion and I wrote a story about how someone ate some cake and it's adventure through their body until it finally reached a shitty end.
One question asked us to describe a cancer treatment and it's effects on the body. So I went into great detail about my last chemo session. The hour long wait for treatment; the sickly yellow of the ward; how much I would vomit if they gave me the wrong antisickness tablet; the ways the drugs were administered and how much it fucking hurt my veins; how and why my wee would be red afterwards; how old people would talk at me, telling me I shouldn't have cancer, during treatment at the ward. Somehow I knew all the drug names and what they did and then went through the day by day of the 14 days of side effects between treatments and the long term effects too. Ended it off with something about chemo sucks major ass and I'm all bald now, would not repeat.
Then I drew hedgehogs for the rest of the time.
I have no idea what the person marking it must have thought, but it was the only exam I passed that week.
Edit (weeks too late!): obligatory thanks for the gold!! Never had gold before! What do I do now? :D
I've been in remission for a year and a half. Kicked the painkiller addiction last month. Side effects come and go, but I'm finally ready to go back to work! Won't go back to biomedicine though, been through too much there.
Thanks for all the replies and sorry I didn't look sooner. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of the hedgehogs I drew, can't have phone in exams.
She was teaching the kids about inference and pretended to call the vet talking about her cat Buttercup getting her shots. When she was done she asked the students who she was calling.
First kid said a veterinarian. The other said the professor. Well it was a vet why did you think it was a professor?
"Cause the Professor takes care of buttercup on Powerpuff girls!"
I dont do the story justice by any means but it was so so funny and this kid definitely had a good line of thinking haha
As a spanish teacher I can say you MUST write "answer in Spanish" for any kind of questions or assignments. There are always a few students who will answer in English, regardless of how obviously it has to be in Spanish and argue that they are technically correct.
Waryur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our Spanish teacher wrote "ยกno inglรฉs!" on the top of one of the tests. The Syrian kid just wrote in Arabic.
Jaikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine in a GCSE Physics mock answered "How is a black hole formed?" with "When an explodified star goes blamo".
JeIIyDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chemistry Teacher: Name something basic.
Student: White girls.
Chem Teacher: Detention. 7:30. Tomorrow.
I kind of have the reverse. We were doing probability in 4th grade, really basic stuff. The question asked how likely the person was to pick a blue ball (something like three blue balls out of 12 differemt colored ones), however unaware of my smart-assery I decided it was extremely likely because all the blue balls were at the top of the container, so obviously the person will pick them right?
Teacher couldnt understand what I ment and gave me no credit. That problem will always stick with me, and I think of it every time a teacher refuses to consider an alternate way of doing a problem.
I had a teacher for computer engineering who asked on his exam "divide the following numbers" then provided two binary numbers. His intention was that I use ones or twos compliment, a very complex equation to do the division. Instead, I did a super simple conversion to regular base 10, did the math then the really simple conversion back to base 2 (binary) and got perfect on a question without having to study the very complex formula
I teach health in middle school. A test question was "How do you feel when a friend tells your secret to someone else?" I was expecting answers like 'angry, sad, upset, etc.' The kid responds with a sad face emoji, an angry face emoji and a middle finger emoji.
I wrote on his test "Not technically wrong but use words next time."
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 01:03:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kouyou ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Myself in 3 different years in elementary school.
Preschool: It was in Fall, we were decorating our class with some colorfull paper trees. We each had one tree to do with some glue and some paper that we crumpled. But I hated this and only put a few pieces of paper as leaves. My teacher came and saw that I wasn't doing much and asked me
"Charles, where did all the leaves go?" and me answering
"Oh, there was a big gust of wind and they all fell"
1st Grade: I'm from Montreal Canada and I speak French. Our teacher was asking for words ending by the sound "U". I quickly raised my hand and said before my teacher told me to
"Tu pus" which means after translation
"you stinks".
2nd Grade: The teacher had placed us in a row at the front of the classroom, because we were going outside for recess.Fooling with my friends, I was playing with a paper plane at the front of the row where our teacher was. If I remember correctly, paper planes where forbidden at my elementary school so my teacher said
"Charles you should put your paper plane in the trashcan because if you keep throwing it, you could hit me in the eye"
I quickly replied to him
"Well no Daniel, you are safe you wear glasses!"
Sorry if some parts are not written correctly, I had to translate from French and it was some times ago ( all 3 pre 2000)!
tohfcl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in an ACT prep class & the question was "what part of the cell stores energy" or something like that (the answer was "ATP", whatever that is).
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...
...
All these Juniors & no one had a clue.
Hand goes up
"Well the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"
I remember one time we had an extra credit question on a test in 4th grade and question was why did we switch from a 9 month calendar to a 12 month one and I wrote "cause mrs.eye said so" when the real answer was cause the winter was longer than the calendar said it should be but I still got it right.
If I were a daddy I'd copy paste to get my kid liked so he didn't have to have good grades. I wonder if that'd get his papers too much attention though
Not a teacher, but still classic:
I was in my physics class and my professor was lecturing about electricity and such. When he got to an new unit, he'd give us the letter the unit was abbreviated too, then he'd have us guess the name.
When we got to Watts, he asked us what the "W" stood for. And student with Aspergers and a Spongebob backpack irked out "WUMBO!"
Teacher asked a student to name an animal that lives in the artic
He said elves ...
lemlwy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was a student in some science class one day and I got a quiz or test that asked about how fast does a cheetah run. I didn't know how fast exactly so I just wrote "very fast".
Not a teacher but back in 2013, my brothers teacher asked him a question in his journal "Was Pedro Martinez right by punching Zimmer who is 72 years old?" My brother responds with "Yes, because he's old and gonna die soon anyway."
Not a teacher but it was a classmate of mine. We were in a literature class when his phone goes off with the mighty morphing power rangers comm sound. The teacher angrily asks "whats that?"
And this fat guy with the squeekiest voice a 17 yo could have says "sorry miss, zordon is calling". I died haha.
Btw his voice was like that he didnt fake it for the sake of the joke.
s4rKRS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing we just kept on walking, I don't think he knew what he said.
Not actually mine, but a friend of mine was teaching a group of five year olds. When asked, what things can you find in a forest, one of the kids keenly replied:
"Are you not shaving because you give up on looking good?"
Yes.
skymack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:39:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had homework in Spanish class in high school where we were supposed to translate a word and use it in a sentence. I didn't notice the "use it in a sentence" part til a few minutes before she went around checking off our homework. I quickly wrote "me gusta" in front of every word and she actually said something along the lines of "technically, those are sentences."
Later I was called on to write my answer "I like student desk" on the board.
It was a science Exam. (It was a bit hard) . Anyway once finished our science teacher was discussing the paper. She was clearly pissed. She started telling us that some students wrote "google it" on questions and others wrote "i love u teacher, please give me full marks (love sign) ). And she was extremely mad.
This is the teacher that wastes whole periods disscussing social issues lol. Like for instance she spent a whole lessons teaching us how it was not ok to have a gf or bf etc... and How bullying was not ok. Also how slapping kids as discipline was necessery. Anyway she left in the next semester.
Maybe not the most outrageous interaction, but it came with a twist.
I had a helicopter parent get extremely aggressive and threatening when his daughter was given a B on her progress report. Whatever, dude. It's not a real grade, chill. The student later earned an A because it was deserved, not because dad was bullying me.
Fast forward about a year, he was arrested while on the family vacation to the home country for arranging and paying for his wife's murder.
I wasn't that shocked, honestly.
I was slapped by my father when I came 2nd in my class. 5th grade. 20 years back.
I am Indian. 'Twas pretty common for parents to slap kids for poor academic performance. Just that I was actually a damn good student, the 2nd best, I mean. The next year, I changed sections to avoid that one guy I couldn't beat.
EDIT: Just to clarify, Indian IN India, not in the US
Student here: I was doing a quiz on pressure and gas for chemistry. The question asked to find an example of an explosion due to too much pressure. I said that my frustration explodes because too much pressure is put on it
nunto ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:30:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid didn't know the answer... drew the fail whale instead. I laughed and gave him the mark
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, 1รท10n
You know, whatever works! ;P
a-r-c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid was going to Greece on vacation to visit family over Thanksgiving break.
Other kid asked if he was going over there to celebrate Thanksgiving.
nolsIL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend once took a biology examination being required to list the advantages of sexual and asexual reproduction.
Seemingly he didn't know a good reason against asexual reproduction and therefore wrote: "The kids are growing up missing one parent"
The teacher answered to this by explaining how animals reproducing asexually don't express parental behavior. Great teacher 5/7
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multiple recastings of "This is the man that I bought yesterday," proving that the student was both very aware of what they were writing and that they properly understood the target grammar. I snatched that the hell away from the other teacher and marked it right before he could do anything about it.
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 23:23:27 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a selfie with one of my kindergarteners and showed it to her: she replied:"that's not me! How is that posible!? " I'm still laughing cuz it just happened like an hour ago
Not a teacher but a witness. In science class we were going over the atmosphere and weather. The teacher asked, "where does the weather come?" My friend (who is religious) yelled out, "JEEEEESUSSSS!" Could be technically right depending on your views
Student
Question on test: why does communism not work?
Answer: people are dicks
Knew I got it cause the teacher started laughing so hard she had to tell my class
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old university professor once explained about a friend or colleague he had that was a philosophy professor and set an exam question 'What is the bravest thing you have ever done' and one of the students left after ten seconds of the exam having only written 'This.' - couldn't give him a bad grade!
I've heard this from several different sources which makes me believe the thing is a) urban legend b) teachers are actually gullible morons who not only use the same stupid question in their tests repeatedly, but also give a pass to students who are not just lazy, but also very uningenious. I'm personally leaning towards the a) option.
According to Urban Dictionary, its a woman who holds the drugs while her boyfriend sells them.
Edit: Lesson learned. Paraphrasing Urban Dictionary = fuckloads of upvotes. Noted.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 23:37:47 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher. In my AP World History class, one of the questions was who created Hiduism. So I said, "Some asian guy". I didn't get any points for that.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it hard that you are a teacher, acting like that
Jack1715 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use to say things about Islam that would be considered racist but i always had facts to back it and my philosophy teacher was always like well your not making staff up haha
I was revising parts of the body with one of my private students. I'd given here a body to label and she had labelled the groin as well. We were looking over the work she had and I asked her what that was (as I couldn't read the word she had written) and she said the word "vulva" o.0
Needless to as I was very surprised and corrected her (while trying not to laugh).
P.S. later on I learned that this is the polite way that children are taught to say a girl's private parts. However, this would not be expectable in English.
This is how you get to 20 years old without women even knowing how their parts work, lol, as vulva is 100% anatomically accurate and as such should be considered polite.
It's acceptable in like a doctor's office but telling your colleague or an acquitance that your vulva hurts is a bit more information than most people would be comfortable. Especially as it is so visual.
Maybe it's cos I grew in the UK where everyone is reserved. So in the UK, it would not be appropriate to use formally.
To be fair... if you don't think you should use "vulva" in a setting, you probably shouldn't be talking about your parts to begin with, or go even deeper into euphemism and stick with "lady parts", lol
Saved comment
Hiciao ยท 1242 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first grade class was learning the word powerful. Kids came up with examples of powerful things and people, like elephants and superman. Then one boy said, "babies are powerful because they can cry and get whatever they want."
Storm137 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 07:57:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You found the big brother.
screamingmorgasm ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:46:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Young Kevin Spacey looks to camera
Hiciao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:03 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get reference. Please explain.
screamingmorgasm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:06 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
House of Cards on Netflix, because that was very similar to the sorts of things Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey's character) would say.
globalismisbadok ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:54:21 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
like liberals
EmilyamI ยท 1186 points ยท Posted at 02:34:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Teacher, I need a pencil."
"Where do the pencils live?" (I have a bucket of sharpened pencils for them to use.)
"Pennsylvania?"
Polaroidzz ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:45:12 on April 1, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is going to be a great dad
CWRules ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:26:10 on March 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you put a sign saying "Pencil-vania" On the bucket.
SorcererSupreme21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on May 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Please do.
chymsida ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:58:09 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna save this to tell my friends
KalElButthead ยท 886 points ยท Posted at 03:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher in Canada, told the kids to name me 5 US states and their row could go out for recess first.
Boy raises his hand and says "Rattlesnake?"
"What? Hah, oh snakes. No no, STATES. Name 5 states."
Same kid "T-Bone?"
"You're naming steaks? STATES. STAATES."
Resource teacher was in the room and we were crying laughing.
[deleted] ยท 515 points ยท Posted at 06:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gas, liquid, solid, plasma, Bose-Einstein condensate
Martinwuff ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 15:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anxiety, denial, exhaustion, heightened awareness, New York
TinkyWinkyIlluminati ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:35:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anxiety
dtreth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:52:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
confusion
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter
FranklintheTMNT ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:16:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was supercritical
SynSyx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or time crystals
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black lives.
Turnipton ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:34:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Posh, Sporty, Scary, Ginger, Baby?
Kytsuine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of Spices, we're looking for states. Saffir-Simpson, Kelvin, bathroom, Mohs, snake.
thisisverytemporary ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is rattlesnake a type of steak? Whats a resource teacher?
adrzz44 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers that help students with learning disabilities within the classroom.
throwawayaccount5944 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:16:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Solid, Liquid, Gas, Plasma, Time Crystal"
Bobsaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a hearing test would be a great idea...
millijuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then again, I defy most US grade schoolers to name 5 provinces...
Youngblood519 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
stinkyrossignol ยท 14247 points ยท Posted at 02:12:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 7th grade on a test the question said "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" and a kid simply put, "Because some people are Amish."
floydgirl23 ยท 805 points ยท Posted at 08:31:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in year 3 we had to answer a logic question about why there might be an uneven amount of shoes at the door. Id recently watched titanic for the first time so decided to write "one person might be a one legged prostitute". It helped that my mum was parent helper that day.
mylackofselfesteem ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 12:43:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, why else would there be an Uneven number of shoes? Lol
Carrotsandstuff ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 12:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's dog likes to steal a shoe. She never chews it, she just picks it up and carries it around. I'll try and get a picture, I might go over on Friday.
Katiana56 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:46:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dog does the exact same thing but she along with her mother also steals socks. Both of them won't chew on them but just carry them around and you'll find socks in weird places.
I remember one time I was visiting my dad, had been there for all of ten minutes. The first thing I do is dump my stuff in my room and take my shoes off. My dad's dog comes up to my room, steals both of my socks one at a time, I don't notice do a couple of things, then go downstairs. The dog was carrying around one sock and the other was just lying in the middle of the floor.
Carrotsandstuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha I love it, it's the weirdest thing. When my dog was a pup he would DESTROY shoes but he never just left them around. It must be ruff if you're running late though and you shoe isn't where you left it.
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:12:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
j-j-j-jokes!
FairyOfTheStars ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:13:19 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO DID YOU GET DOG PICTURE?
Carrotsandstuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:48 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No my friend cancelled on me because he made plans for st. Patty's day then forgot, then asked me if I wanted to play Magic, then remembered.
My dinner plans for tonight flaked on me too. It's not been my weekend.
FairyOfTheStars ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:14:11 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I was supposed to hang out w Thursday did that to me too. It happened (same person) two weeks earlier also (more snow related though). Ehh. I think you and I just need dogs instead.
Carrotsandstuff ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:31:33 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/jGHLSLU
I uploaded a picture of my dog for you. There's a post on aww I can't figure out how to link and there was a shout out for you that got lost in my incompetence. But hey, he's pretty cute.
FairyOfTheStars ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:45:00 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love him thank you so much!! ๐
unique_pervert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:38 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well did you?
Carrotsandstuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:51 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No my friend cancelled on me so I posted a picture of my own dog, just sitting around, further down.
zefferoni ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:19:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone grabbed a show to smash a spider in a different room.
MundaneInternetGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you have really cool shoes that you want to show to people but you're already inside with your shoes off so you have to go to the door to grab them. And there's no need to take both shoes because you won't be wearing them, just showing them off.
ASAProxys ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stepped in dog shit with one, left it outside. Put the other by the door.
Kylynara ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids could explain it. You have a toddler who randomly relocates items for you? Older child got one shoe off then needed the bathroom and left the second shoe in there? You are teaching your kid to tie their shoes and the one they are practicing on got left in another room? Took shoes off in car, threw one out of car seat, now it's missing in the car? Took shoes off at Walmart, dropped one, mom failed to find it, but is holding on to it and checking the lost and found regularly because those shoes were super easy to get on a wiggly toddler.
math-kat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, a one-legger person was my first thought too
floydgirl23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?! Totally logical. Think i just wanted to show off the new big word i'd learned
halftrick ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 15:54:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/deenmeister xD xD xD
deenmeister ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!
bob_live ยท 326 points ยท Posted at 07:53:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is kind of a big sociology question. What was the expected answer?
barktreep ยท 357 points ยท Posted at 09:09:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bullshit like this is why I hated school. The teacher probably taught them three reasons why technology was bad and if they wrote down something else they'd get it wrong.
marcusss12345 ยท 347 points ยท Posted at 09:58:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had "name three good things and three bad things about FDR's presidency". Now, the teacher had already given us the correct answers on a study guide, and one of the bad things was "he created a welfare state".
I refused to put a welfare state down as a negative, and wrote 4 things on the "good" side instead (I added my own criticism of FDR as well, that he made internment camps for japanese). I got ducked a point for not marking a welfare state as a negative, even though I had three valid "bad" things.
barktreep ยท 254 points ยท Posted at 10:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's bullshit! You even mentioned the free housing he gave to the japanese.
shartLord ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 13:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a negative because Japanese people deserve to live in the sewers.
SchmeckleFreckle ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:34:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only mutated turtles belong in sewers. C'mon man where's your head!
G_reth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:02:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Filthy japs!
Edit: I am sorry for using such an offensive word. But why is everyone one so mad? are you a bunch of pakis?! /s
GoingCamaro ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:41:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my younger brothers, the goodie two shoes, goes to church every Sunday and never swears type, would become the most racist and vile person whenever he played Call of Duty...
"Fuckin Japs!!! Gawdamn Krauts!!!!!"
xorgol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:47:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's kinda justified when playing FPSs. I spout insults against rebel scum when playing Battelfront, but that doesn't mean I don't want their peaceful reintegration under the glorious magnanimity of the Empire as soon as they put down their blasters.
Paladin_of_Trump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/EmpireDidNothingWrong
Paladin_of_Trump ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not being racist, that's being in-character.
theycallmeponcho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sewers so clean in Japan that they have people in them!
JustinWendell ยท -36 points ยท Posted at 11:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/s ?
MySecretAccount1214 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 11:32:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Am analyst
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Loud_as_Hope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beets are better than turnips
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Loud_as_Hope ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:36:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to imply you're a mermaid? Idk any context about Atlantis
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's more than just a Delta hub, Fry
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 287 points ยท Posted at 12:42:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter is currently reading Orwell's 1984 in english class. Whenever the teacher reads aloud to the class she replaces Goldstein's name with Trump. Now, while some might find this humorous, I dont. Ill also state that I didnt vote for Trump. However, I have a serious problem with teachers pushing their political views on children.
KingMaharg ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 12:47:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually illegal in most states for teachers to push their own political views onto their students.
pahco87 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it isn't a private school.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 13:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a public school. If it wasnt her last year of school I would be seriously tempted to walk in there and have some words with the administration. In fact I was going to but she asked that I not and just wants to get through the next few months there and be done. I can respect that. This is the same school that banned the children from watching the inauguration in school this year while previous years there was an assembly held to watch it because "its a part of history and is important".
qatest2 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 13:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That school has a serious problem with pushing politics into education. The teacher-trump thing itself was inappropriate, but showing an obvious bias towards the inauguration? Something needs to be said and done about that sooner or later.
v1z10 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:44:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching children to only respect election results they agree with...
Na, don't see any problems there.
krypt_o ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The irony in everyone calling Trump and his supporters Fascists while pulling shit like this is .. well .. it's scary.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:28:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the downvotes lol. Truth hurts.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly my thoughts.
barktreep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:41 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBF, there was a non-zero chance he would talk about his penis in his inauguration speech.
pahco87 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:02:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd still say something at the end of the year. She won't have to deal with any possible backlash but the problem may still get addressed.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good idea. I think I'll do this.
foyra ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or don't be a chick and realize that people joking about trump is perfectly reasonable as the man is a complete buffoon. ANd this is coming from someone who voted for him, just think he's a bit better than the other one.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:56:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Outside of a public school setting I can agree with you. People are entitled to their opinion but in a public school setting it's inappropriate.
foyra ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trump is a literal madman. It's okay to make fun of him
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but it's not okay to do it in a public school as an authority figure.
foyra ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is. That'd be like saying we shouldn't teach that politicians are sometimes bad at their jobs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it's not like that at all. False equivalence is false.
GoingCamaro ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:46:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why the Dems lost. I'm not looking to engage in political discourse, but regardless of what side of the aisle you're on, the obvious bias and butthurt nature of some Democrats right now is actually doing the party more harm than good. Even the hardest core of Republicans almost feel bad... almost.
My point being, some serious reform needs to be done, otherwise leftist ideals will be left in the dust for the next 30-40 years of Republican rule...
surfnsound ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"He's not my President." I mean, you can say that as much as you want, it doesn't make it true. So you better learn to deal with it rather than throw stick your fingers in your ears and scream "I'm not listening, I'm not listening." Because while you're doing that, laws are being passed that are going to affect you whether you accept them or not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to any university
spyfox321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher talked about how our last last last president's suicide was faked and was actually politically assassinated.
At the end of every lesson he states how his veiws are completely objective and does not condone any facts.
clockwork-cards ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 12:59:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a philosophy lecture yesterday, in the UK, and part of our lecture involved throwing plastic balls at a picture of Trump.... I have no idea what the relevance was, it was just weird.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 13:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious. Also its justification for my grandma shaking her cane and claiming my professors brainwashed me into being liberal... which would kind of make sense if 95% of my engineering classes weren't purely physics based.
clockwork-cards ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm doing a social science research degree, so we hear about Trump a lot comparatively.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:31:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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clockwork-cards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:40:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, it's a social science philosophy class so it's more methodologically based. So there was apparently some academic point. But it was lost on me because it was my 4th consecutive hour of lectures yesterday.
foyra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:46:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol it was always funny to me how nine hours of school in high school was easy, but by the fourth class of college I'm doneskis ๐ด
MissMarionette ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, what the teacher should be doing is posing the question to the class like "Do you feel like similar political blah blah blah has manifested itself in the world since the book was written? Do you think this book is still valuable to us today?" You know, something a bit more discreet.
qatest2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Give the kids their own thoughts instead of putting your own views into them. Teenagers can be easily taught what to think from what they see in older people.
quiestqui ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oy, my feelings about Trump are basically what you'd expect from a liberal yuppie, but that is honestly fucked up. From a literary perspective as well as a political one.
If that teacher wanted to draw parallels between 1984 and the current state of government corruption, it could make for a really interesting assignment. Or discussion. Or literally any exercise involving critical thinking. Maybe the teacher was trying to be super-meta?
Regardless, wow.
uptokesforall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped the ball on that one. She could have drawn the connection between controlling the language and controlling the people. She could have cited parralels to unpopular leaders through history and especially present day. Instead she calls Trump am imaginary terrorist or something
elljawa ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's humorous, but pretty cringey. And completely inappropriate
xorgol ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:48:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely 1984 speaks by itself, the teacher is only undermining her own message.
marcusss12345 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, totally. It has to go both ways, otherwise we (on the left) are just as bad.
swarley_scherbatsky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This infuriates me, and I'd be equally infuriated if she used the name of any other politician. Teachers are meant to teach, not force his or her opinion on the students.
pahco87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private or public school? This would almost certainly get a teacher reprimanded in a public school.
_TheOtherWoman_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a public school. The same school that wouldn't let the kids watch the inuaguration this year but in previous years held an assembly to watch Obama's inauguration because "it a part of history and important." I can't wait until she graduates.
qatest2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely would, but a lot of the times it goes by fine. This is one of the more obvious cases, but lots of teachers are very indirect/discreet about putting their political views into teaching, even if they don't know it.
ejeebs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironic that she's using the book 1984 for her own "two-minutes hate."
Lethkhar ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 12:48:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trump is the chief executive and face of a literal, 1984-esque mass surveillance state. Isn't he Big Brother?
I agree with you, though. That is inappropriate.
EDIT: Yes, I know Trump didn't start it. That doesn't change the fact that he won't end it.
reofecthegreat ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 12:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last few President have been pushing towards that. In all honestly, they're at the stage where they are getting us to normalize being under constant surveillance.
paxgarmana ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:04:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
true .. and sad
slowhand88 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:06:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, "they" don't have to do anything. We do it to ourselves with social media.
geminia999 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 13:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I don't think the Teacher would have said Obama instead a few months ago.
marcusss12345 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher could have drawn comparisons of big brother to the NSA, but it would have to be done in a politically unbiased way, that teaches the kids critical thinking rather than indoctrination.
krombopolosmichael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, maybe she's pointing more to the douplespeak/alternative facts/shameless narrative shifting of the Trump administration as being Orwellian rather than the mass surveillance which is pretty bipartisan at this point.
I agree it's inappropriate in any event.
marcusss12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly agree with all of that, and Trump is the embodiment of Orwellianism.
But that's not something that should be "taught". It's something that people should find out for themselves, or maybe through a class discussion in college. Not school.
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should be a teacher, if you aren't one.
marcusss12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take that as a compliment :)
I'm a politician right now, working towards being an economist sometime in the future. But I do help teaching young children how to deal with anxiety disorders, so that's something :)
aew360 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:29:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...started by Bush and emboldened by Obama. You don't just whip up a spy state in 2 months.
Lethkhar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:55:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FreeThinkk ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you agree that this would include GWB as well?
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:14:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it would. The Patriot Act was pushed through by Republicans, but the Democrats have never really opposed it and laws like it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:12:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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FreeThinkk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he was POTUT when the patriot act was signed, which was arguably the beginning of our present surveillance state. The PA laid the groundwork for the current state we are in.
JamCliche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
President Of The United Taters
marcelgs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that Bush?
FreeThinkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes that's who I was referring to.
gel_ink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be all of our recent presidents.
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both? Throw in Bush, too.
wagdaddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:57:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obama is not the president.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:02:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
big brother has been around a lot longer than trump
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No disagreement from me on that point. But Trump is the current face and chief executive. He is ultimately responsible for his administration's crimes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i don't see it that way there is a lot of intel that is kept from even the president things deemed unnecessary for him to know big brother has it's own motives aside from what the president can tell them to do
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is no excuse for programs that are already known to the public. If I know about it, then I expect the president to be able to find that information and act on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:25 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
then run for president fix this broken machine
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:16 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, my daddy wasn't a multimillionaire. :(
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:02 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah yes one of the problems with our system your not getting in unless you got money
Conservative_Merican ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes it seem like Trump solely was the individual that established the surveillance state; all in matter of his three months in office.
Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the responses I've been getting, you're right. I don't see how people interpreted it that way, but I guess if you don't include enough irrelevant information then people will fill in the blanks with their partisan assumptions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lethkhar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't think government agents can read every word you write, or spy on you in your home? You don't think the government tortures people? You don't think we have propaganda or our own ways of restricting language (Doublespeak)? You don't think Republicans try to restrict people to purely procreational sex? You don't think we have a lottery? You don't think Trump's constant self-contradiction and total denial of any fact that reflects poorly on him is even the slightest bit Minitrue-like? Well, I disagree.
These are things the US government is doing. Right now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Lethkhar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So as long as other presidents did it then it's not at all like 1984? Not really following the logic here. For all we know Big Brother didn't start it, either, and even if he did that doesn't seem like a substantive argument for there being no parallels between a mass surveillance state and a story about a mass surveillance state.
Ok, so he's an incompetent chief executive of a mass surveillance state. Thanks for the clarification.
Shouldn't you compare Democrats with Republicans, rather than with conservatives? Otherwise you're comparing a specific political party with an entire ideology which we haven't even defined. (Unless that was your definition?)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lethkhar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:33:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, which is nonsensical because Goldstein isn't the figurehead of a surveillance state, he's a "revolutionary." Trump is no revolutionary and does not pretend to be. He is not the purported enemy of the state, he IS the state. (And before you bring it up, yes I know The Brotherhood's existence is ambiguous/unlikely in the book)
This is demonstrably false. Republicans run deficits and expand government every time they're in power.The same thing with the Democrats. And both parties support the government's ability to spy on its own citizens and arrest and detain them without trial. Neither party is "small government," with the exception of a few lone legislators on either side of the aisle.
Unless those laws don't suit their interests, of course.
I've never understood people who spout off about "local power" and how much the Federal government imposes itself on people when they don't even support D.C. Statehood.
Depends on the Democrat and the regulation. This is a blanket statement that doesn't mean anything. Again, it has more to do with their interests than a solid ideology. (Though "I want the federal government to regulate everything" isn't really an ideology, it's a strawman)
uptokesforall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also we named our department of eat the department of defense
nervelli ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 13:00:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, the teacher didn't originally list internment camps as a negative? That's a pretty big fucking negative.
marcusss12345 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:05:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I remember it (it was two years ago), the three negatives were: "he was on his way to becoming a dictator", "he created a welfare state", and "he tried to manipulate the Supreme Court" or something like that. There was also something about his deficit spending. It was pretty obvious that my teacher was a Republican.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 14:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If by that you mean a fucking crazy person. "So creating a 'welfare state' is worse than literally imprisoning Americans in camps?"
marcusss12345 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't really "japanese internment camps weren't bad", it was more like "this wasn't the answer on your study guide, so I have to mark it as wrong".
But yeah, I agree.
pamplemouss ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeahhh, that's quite different from "why some people see x as negative." That phrasing avoids assigning actual value, and it IS important to know why the public perceived things you think of as good as bad and vice versa. I'm with you on your answers.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:19:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Critical thinking is great as long as we agree.
amaurosisfugax ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CapitalistPedagogy.jpg
likelyworkrelated ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:58:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to assume that you made up this story to piss off reddit. You may not have, but just makes me feel better to assume that there are no teachers that stupid...
marcusss12345 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:11:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, the teacher we had for world history was miles better, and way more objective. She was very effective in teaching critical thinking, and analysing bias.
FDR was also her favorite president, so she taught him in a much better way (while still acknowledging the bad stuff). So we did kind of get to see both sides of the coin, even though it would have been much better to just be taught objectively in the first place. It helped us understand how history could be biased.
likelyworkrelated ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does. I have no problem with the question itself, if it's used as a prompt to get you to think critically and recall some of the things you learned about that important time in U.S. history. I just don't like how you are forced to put things that are clearly subjective in one column or you lose points.....
marcusss12345 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:38:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree.
Personally, I think questions like that should have been an essay question, along the lines of:
"In 3-5 paragraphs, describe how effective you believe the FDR presidency was. In your view, what were his successes and failures? Explain."
Something like that. Then the term "welfare state" could have been there as an inspiration or something.
MrWhiteLobster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll help you dig a hole to hide your head in.
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Mum worked with a teacher who'd go on tirades against liberals in his History classes. Getting teachers fired for being politically charged is difficult because we need all the able hands we can get in teaching our kids.
mrRabblerouser ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:36:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh trust me there are plenty of teachers that stupid. At least in my experience. When I was in elementary and jr. High, I learned pretty early on to stop thinking to hard about questions, and just write what the teacher wanted to hear.
aaronguy56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Care to explain why you refused to put that down? I'm actually curious as my class has just went over FDRs presidency a week ago.
marcusss12345 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:01:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simply spoken, I consider a welfare state as a positive thing, and therefore wouldn't put it down as a negative.
I was an exchange student at the time. I actually live in Denmark, which has one of the largest welfare states in the world. Welfare keeps people from living in poverty. It increases spending, which stimulates the economy. It pushes the lower wages up (if being on welfare gives the equivalent of, say, having a 7 buck per hour job, then wages will rise naturally). It reduces the inequality of people.
As a socialdemocrat, I strongly believe in all of this.
[deleted] ยท -92 points ยท Posted at 10:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LuciusAnneas ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 11:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure your interpretation of "history" isnt colored by political affiliation at all ... /s maybe educate yourself about different perspectives about the topic before you lecture others and call them names
[deleted] ยท -72 points ยท Posted at 11:15:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Nicknackbboy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:40:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad that you people actually believe this shit.
[deleted] ยท -37 points ยท Posted at 12:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nicknackbboy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:00:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just word diarrhea. Get yourself checked out man/gal.
Steven_Yeuns_Nipple ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 11:42:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*citation needed. There is very little evidence out there to confirm this quote. The book that originally quoted this was by an author that got it 3rd hand. It's entirely likely that this quote is completely made up to sell a book.
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I particularly liked the Kennedy quote in the article. (RFK not JFK)
I mean...I don't either? I lie awake worrying about problems affecting me, and the impending apocalypse mostly.
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I lie awake at night redditing, but that's definitely something I should curtail.
BundiChundi ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 11:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I guess the right giving all the money to the rich, while simultaneously not helping the poor are also not creating poverty. Also isolating certain social groups.
PsychedSy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a third option: we're all retards.
theryman ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:28:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The simplest answer is the most likely.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best answer
Pomagranite16 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the right have a very simple way to end poverty. Just STOP being poor! /s
GateauBaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you're not left, you're right"
cdwols ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:42:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, there's no such thing as differing opinions or nuance! Thank you for enlightening me random stranger. /s, though that really should be obvious
Mongopwn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously you've never lived in a red state.
Cookiegetta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LeBron James James LeBron LeBron LeBron LeBron James LeBron James James LeBron James LeBron James
Nicknackbboy ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 11:39:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh the Alabama/Texas/Southern version of American history. Where carter was our worst president, the civil war wasn't about slavery, the civil rights era was "complicated" and all liberals are ruining America with their solidarity.
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we can easily say from anywhere that the civil rights era was complicated. There was a lot going on and a lot happened, everything else in the world/country didn't just stop so that blacks could get rights. It was a time of high tensions that affected everyone.
Nicknackbboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Generalities. Turmoil ensues worldwide largely due to old moneyed and cultural powers losing their minds at the idea of fluid borders or mixed races.
Snuffleupagus4Pres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If liberals had any semblance of solidarity, would trump have won?
MissMarionette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the system before FDR didn't lead to thousands of men killing themselves out of shame from not being able to provide for their families, rendering their wives widows and their children without fathers. OH WAIT.
mrRabblerouser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you're trolling and all, but isn't it weird how there are actually people this stupid? I mean it's not even a matter of a difference of opinion at that point.
Teh1TryHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we're talking middle of the great depression when FDR stepped into office, where previously herbert hoover believed eventually the economy would help itself and get off its feet. Aside from even trying to do anything at all to help the economy * cough * square deal * cough * , it eventually got us out of the depression with the help of WWII... Where did you get your information from?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marcusss12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know what the word "objective" means. It's bad in your opinion. There are arguments for and against it, as there is with most things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marcusss12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you would know that welfare isn't "objectively" a bad thing. It's a bad thing in your opinion. And that's totally fair.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marcusss12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it does. That is a straight up lie. You want to hear one person it helps? My grandmother. And there are thousands upon thousands of others it helps. Welfare creates happiness. Look at Denmark. It's the happiest country on earth, and has one of the world's largest welfare states.
It also gives security to the worker. It means an employer can't force the worker to do whatever he wants, and threaten to fire if the worker refuses. Welfare is a security net, which protects average people from tyranny.
You may have the OPINION that it is bad, but that is subjective, not objective.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marcusss12345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The UN declared it that in their happiness report.
You are entitled to your opinions, but declaring them facts is just plain ignorant.
Master_Tallness ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it also possible the teacher was looking for some critical thinking and not specific talking points? Sheesh.
barktreep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:15:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not any teacher I've ever come across. In an AP class essay question, sure. But not once in a regular class short answer test.
arbolmalo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:23:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you've had shit teachers and that makes me sad :-(
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. That kind of thing is a terrible fit for a short answers test. If that kind of thinking was the goal, they would have used a different test format. It's a self-selecting sample.
ChaseballBat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?? You're not making any sense, one of the major goals of elementary to middleschool is to learn to think critically especially with questions formated like this....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that doesn't meant that those skills will be tested in "regular class short answer test[s]", which is the only thing barktreep was talking about. Which shouldn't really surprise anyone because "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" asked as a general question with a single paragraph answer field is complete bullshit.
shaggorama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's much more likely the teacher was mainly trying to get the kids to think about and explore the question on their own.
ChaseballBat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The goal in school is to learn how to think critically...This is a critical thinking question.
barktreep ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question might be, but the answers aren't.
Redditistheplacetobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer is either the truth to you or just another thing to question.
jvjanisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily grades don't matter that early on in school.
The_Juggler17 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a teacher for a while, and I'll be honest, I never read the essays.
Skimmed through to see if it's remotely on topic and without any glaring grammar or spelling problems. If there's nothing severely wrong with the essay then it's full points.
gel_ink ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:37:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be honest too. I am glad you are no longer a teacher (though I hope you have found something fulfilling in its place). I know it is time consuming to give proper review to that much writing, but that's the job when you assign that work. As a college instructor, I see too many first year students incredibly under-prepared in writing, rhetoric, and argumentation. Feedback and guidance are far more important than an arbitrary dose of full points.
benjaminikuta ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's expected to be complete.
Gremlin87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because everyone is different?
iAmLegenDairy123 ยท 212 points ยท Posted at 06:31:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He ain't wrong.
Tsorovar ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 07:10:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is, actually. He's not telling you why some people see the technology as a problem, he's just giving the name of a group of people who do.
The_Lost_King ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 07:18:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is saying that people see technology as bad because they are part of a group that
as a whole doesn't like technologyfinds enough umbrage with technology that they ban it, this explaining why a person would, just not why a group would. So, he's technically rightfullyEdit: wording Edit: I did an HTML inspired strike through instead of the proper formatting.
myassholealt ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 08:19:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the
impetusonus is on the student to also explain why the Amish would have this view, otherwise I would give half credit for that answer. Like if someone responds, 'because it's hot,' to why does water evaporate, to me that's only a partial answer. What's the criteria for hot being correct and not cold? You're assuming the questioner already knows the answer so you don't elaborate, which defeats the purpose of testing someone's knowledge. And that sounds like a question that required a persuasive argument.MyNameIsSushi ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 08:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at you guys. Overanalyzing an answer a 8 year old gave. Man, I love Reddit.
rain_wagon ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 08:35:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's wouldn't be 8 years old if he's in 7th grade. He'd be in... uhhh... we're gonna need an analyses over here.
myassholealt ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 08:41:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got you. Add five years to the grade number and that's generally the age of the student. Add one more year if they have a birthday before finishing the grade. So 12/13.
MyNameIsSushi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:42:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I just said some random number because I didn't wanna check OP's comment again. But if he was in 7th grade he would be 16-17 years old, in Austria at least. Someone else has to chime in and analyze this shit if that happened in America.
Ragnar_D ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:45:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just tend to assume most people on this site are American until they state otherwise. Makes me have to think less and it is correct like, 56% percent of the time
pamplemouss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing as he referenced the Amish, I am guessing America.
bbtvvz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do grades work in Austria? Do you start back at 1st after elementary school?
MyNameIsSushi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elementary school 4 years and then you have the choice to go to a "Gymnasium" (kinda like high school) if your grades are good in elem. school, or a middle school if your grades are not that good. Middle school is 4 years and Gymnasium is 8 but you can switch, after 4th grade, to a "higher technical school" (HTL) with an emphasis on technology and engineering for 5 years or a commercial highschool (HAK) focusing on economy, trade and commerce.
With all 3, Gymnasium, HTL and HAK you get the A-levels after final exams, although HTL and HAK take 1 year longer.
Pupils also have the option to switch from a middle school to a Gymnasium after 4 years if their grades improve. If not they do a "Lehre" which basically means working while going to a trade school, which is extremely easy so many teenagers take that route.
There are a lot of little details but that would take too long to explain.
Edit: Forgot to answer your 2nd question. Yes, it starts at 1st grade again after elementary school.
jyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.overthinkingit.com/2008/12/08/disqualify-daniel-larusso/amp/
WrongPeninsula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yay ASD!
The_Lost_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What can I say, I love meaningless analysis and winning on technicalities.
apsgreek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the kid was saying that the Amish only dislike technology because they are indoctrinated to do so?
Kageyblahblahblah ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:09:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's fair to expect this kid to explain the amish culture and how they got to the point of "horses good/technology bad". I agree that simply saying they don't like technology because they are Amish is reason enough.
wednesdayyayaya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You said "impetus" ("impulse"), I think you meant "onus" ("burden").
myassholealt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're correct. I'll change it. Thanks.
The_Lost_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying he should get points; I'm just saying that he is still technically correct. Sometimes being technically correct isn't really worth any points. So I agree with your entire statement, but I don't know if you are adding onto me or trying to contradict me so I'm just trying to make my point.
Darcsen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He name dropped the Amish like a bitch though. Little mofo needs to spread the word of King Ludd.
Raw_Venus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a difference between not liking something and seeing it as a problem. For example, I don't like smart cars, they are just too small for me, but they are not a problem either.
The_Lost_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you are right that the way that I communicated my point is wrong, my point is correct.
A better way of phrasing would have been "a group that finds enough umbrage with technology that they ban it"
GA89 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:19:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if they see technology as problem, because they are Amish, then he ain't wrong.
ThatBelligerentSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is often used to signal a desire to understand causality.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He also neglects to mention people who have a problem with technology but aren't amish. Including the arguably most important group - people with legitimate practical concerns.
Shotwing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the question
altaltaltpornaccount ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 09:35:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not an accurate answer. It's up to individual elders to determine the amount of technology allowed in their community. The true hallmark of Amishness is Anabaptism - they don't baptize children because they don't have the mental capacity to commit themselves to Jesus.
JustinWendell ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really?? That's cool. I had no idea. This is kindof odd though because southern baptists don't baptize babies either. And even young children who say they want to are viewed skeptically and given pretty thorough counseling.
TankGirlwrx ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:05:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Amish have something called Rumspringa, which is kind of like Spring Break: Amish Edition. When a child of the community turns 16, they're allowed to venture out of the community for a year to see what the world is like; then they can come back and decide if they want to remain Amish. Unfortunately, because their lifestyle and upbringing is so strict (and all of their family and friends are Amish) it's not much of a choice. A lot of kids end up becoming drug addicts in their time away from home. Many go back because they can't function in "regular" society. So while it's nice to think that they don't baptize their kids to essentially give them the choice when they're old enough, it doesn't really work out differently from those being forced into a faith by their parents from a young age.
There's a good documentary out there about it, I think it's titled Rumspringa.
Edit to add: it's also possible that Amish culture has become more modernized in the last 10 years and this may not be the case any longer.
TheTimeLass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of this stuff people are saying is mostly true for a lot of Amish. However, Amish can really vary from one place to another. Not only are the Amish in Ohio very different from the Amish in Pennsylvania, but even the Amish on the north end of the town I live in, vary drastically from the ones south of town. About an hour away from where I live, there are even Mormon Amish. And it's not unusual to see various groups of Amish vary and change over time.
I'm adding this many hours after i posted this but, interestingly enough, an Amish buggy crash into the side of our house and put a hole in our wall today.
Thy_Lord_Castiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Southern baptists do dedicate children to Christ though.
And I've never seen a kid baptized. My churches were always 12-13. Age of accountability. Instead of a party, you get a bath.
newbris ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess most kids would be well brainwashed by then if all they knew was the church.
Thy_Lord_Castiel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much, yeah.
I went to church from 2+. I was dedicated to Christ as a kid. I just couldn't be baptized. Because my age.
But if you're told all your life accepting Christ and being baptized is the only way to heaven, then you're gonna do it when you're 13.
Now, I'm still a Christian. I just don't take my kids to church. I tell them what's what when they ask, but I don't force it on them.
I love Christ. I love my faith. But I won't force it on anyone
newbris ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:37:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you. It's pretty much the modus operandi of almost every religion in the world....get to the kids young and indoctrinate them and then they will be ours for life.
Explains why most think the religion of their parents is the right one and all others are wrong.
All obvious stuff to most but bears repeating for those amongst us who don't think about these things, and think they made an objective decision when deciding on their religion.
Thy_Lord_Castiel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I studied a plethora of religions and cultures as a teen.
I believe my religion is the right one, but nobody knows for sure. I go by my bible, I try to act in a way that fits my religion, and I hope that when my number is called that I'm right. If not, maybe being a good person Is good enough.
I just look at my religion, and it states that what god did that was so amazing was give us free will. If god, if Christ, decided free will was needed, who am I to defy him? I am a grain of sand on an endless beach. Trying to take away free will is me saying that I know better than the man who made the beach.
newbris ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The choice to distort the nature of the world through a particular religious prism should definitely be made with free will but the global distribution of religion sadly shows us it is most often an illusion.
KallistiEngel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an atheist*. I try to be a good person for the sake of being a good person. I want my time here to be pleasant and so I try to make it pleasant for other people too.
*I'm not against anyone else's religion, I just have none myself. Religion doesn't offend me, I actually try to look into religions a bit now and then to understand them better. I do have a little trouble identifying as atheist though because of all the ones who see themselves as superior to religious people. It's a descriptor in my case, not a large part of my identity. Live and let live, you know?
Thy_Lord_Castiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you're allowed to believe in nothing, or only yourself and the golden rule.
That's the real beauty of it. We can do whatever we want, or nothing at all
MrTomuxs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need more people like you.
JustinWendell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did this to my brother and I, but I figured it was his own deal instead a church enforced thing. I've never been told I should dedicate my daughter.
InspiringCalmness ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that question is so incredible broad that the only accurate answer would be "because people have different views" or "because ppl judge the pros/cons of it differently".
Everything else wouldn't answer the question.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 06:54:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck that kid, some people like living in an Amish paradise
SwampHat ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 08:05:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And churning butter once or twice
KingPsych ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Living in an amish paradise
thomasbomb45 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:14:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a judgement on the Amish. It's just saying the Amish don't like technology
NoPantsMcClintoch ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 10:11:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
Fkmeimempty ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:54:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitching up the buggie, churning lots of butter
TLema ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:09:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:28:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think you're really righteous?
Think you're pure of heart?
Well I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
thomasbomb45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I'm one of those guys that have things go over their heads. I was wondering why I heard a whooshing sound...
NoPantsMcClintoch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
SGUNNER2015 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:41:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid was technically correct.
Nietzschemouse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Amish don't shun technology as a blanketed rule. They're defined by other things. Individual communities have different amounts of tech. Several use the internet, for instance.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give him two points instead of 1 because he's thinking lol
here2be2see2thee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a very loaded question that seems to be prodding for very subjective and xenophobic answers. Can you explain the context of the question?
magkruppe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i assume they have discussed it in class
Nicknackbboy ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 11:42:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably didn't. Probably a blanket curriculum the teacher was handed and she put in a bunch of xenophobic opinionated nonsense to "spice it up."
jordanmindyou ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably also kidnapped a kid and still keeps him in the basement. Probably a Russian sleeper agent. Probably had two cups of Folger's before taking the scenic route to work that day. Probably fought off a raging gorilla that was infected with the zombie virus from world war z and probably was infected and brainwashed by it then forced to indoctrinate the kids at that school with evil atheist propaganda meant to bend the will of the general public to destroy the world.
I love saying "probably", followed by baseless nonsense that sounds like it came out of a sci-fi movie!
Pomagranite16 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could gold you right now XD
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why xenophobic?
Eman-resu- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:10:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just read Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
NewVegasResident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It literally isn't, you could have answered "because some people have had bad experience with technology or were raised in a way that portrayed it in a megative light" and it'd be fine. Easy question.
Chris11246 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone living in central PA near the Amish thats wrong. The Amish dont see technology as a negative. They only see anything that messes with their community as a negative. Thats why they can have tractors and electricity they just have to generate it themselves. They just cant rely on the outside influence of the grid. There are exceptions for businesses.
stinkyrossignol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was seventh grade and a long time ago so I just hope that kid is a bit smarter.
Chris11246 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question is answers that technically arent wrong. That is technically wrong.
Edit: But I know a lot of people dont know its wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:29 on September 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I find the Ohioan?
stinkyrossignol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on September 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Found the Vermonter.
omgwtflols ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Valid answer!
Razorray21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but technically being Amish is a result, and not the cause.
islaya1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit this might be me.... like I have no exact memory of this question being asked or me saying this exact answer, but I remember in my 7th grade Lit class I had a running joke with the kids next to me about Amish people and since assignments were graded by completion I had several times included Amish people in random ass answers to totally off topic questions. I got Deja Vu when I saw this answer.. even if this isn't me thanks for the flashback wow
stinkyrossignol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well let's see in 7th grade did you live in Vermont? If not then it probably wasn't you.
islaya1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang :/ sadly no, I wanted to ask what school was this at and where but it seemed like a little bit too much of a personal question
Tuckered__Out ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:28 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through a phase when I was a kid where I was obsessed with ships for a few years (Asperger's). My dad let me watch Titanic (he skipped the drawing scene) and I remember calling my two-legged uncle a one-legged prostitute without having any idea what a prostitute was...
jmgs000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:25:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao perfect
Famous1187 ยท 19493 points ยท Posted at 02:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phys. Ed teacher here - I always wear shorts teaching. Parent-teacher conferences roll around, grade 1 student comes up to me with her parents - "Mr. Famous1187, I've never seen you wear pants before". I've never responded quicker to a comment before in my life to clear that up.
Puffonstuff ยท 8327 points ยท Posted at 04:44:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my wife worked in an undisclosed location women's shelter. My daughter wanted to see where mommy worked but we could never go. I was picking up my daughter from school when she said (in the middle of the crowded school hall) "daddy can we finally go visit mommy in the shelter".
[deleted] ยท 2326 points ยท Posted at 06:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my nephew when he was ~3. We dropped his mom, my sister, off at work, where she met a colleague outside and went in with him. Back at home, my nephew reported to everyone that he'd seen mommy "go away with a man".
SelflessDeath ยท 716 points ยท Posted at 08:41:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew told his mother I did bad things to him. I was putting him to bed.
VesilahdenVerajilla ยท 439 points ยท Posted at 09:16:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was in kindergarten I told my teacher my mother did drugs because when she drank her morning coffee she always said she needed her drug.
CrackinBacks ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 11:24:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's kinda your moms fault since she referred to it as "her drugs" around a 5 year old lol
thats_lovely101 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 13:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother used to think it was funny to pronounce doughnuts "dog nuts". When my kindergarten teacher asked what my favorite breakfast food was that was exactly what I told her. My mother was mortified!
FishbowlSouls ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 12:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why pretend that coffee's not a drug tho
GeeJo ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 12:59:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it avoids having CPS turn up for no reason?
Technically correct, despite the meme, is actually the worst kind of correct.
FishbowlSouls ยท -51 points ยท Posted at 13:15:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, not the CPS! This is just a silly scenario in general, nothing a short explanation wouldn't resolve. Seems like a pretty dumb reason to bring your kids up thinking that coffee isn't a psychoactive substance... gives them a warped view of reality.. why hide the truth from them?
nomis789 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 13:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You clearly have never met anyone that has dealt with CPS
thehappinessparadox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:40:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CPS is a total pain in the ass, but something one of my favorite professors once said about the subject stuck with me:
"Yeah, if someone calls CPS on me over a misunderstanding, I'm going to be a little annoyed by the inconvenience. But I'll still be thankful, because it means that somebody out there is looking out for my kids and cares about their wellbeing."
nomis789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true, but it junk it's one of those things that varies massively on region. Where i am they aren't bad but in some places there's a clear mindset with these people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it means someone hates you and wants to fuck with you.
PolyBunny562 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He clearly has never dealt with them himself
nomis789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would hope most never have to, the stories are bad enough and i don't even have any intention of having kids (yay for gay)
MacDerfus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm straight but now I want to find a reason to use that phrase.
theamandashow13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly people see CPS as this horrible entity that only exists to take away children, which is really damaging. They also provide many supports to families that need it and can be a really amazing resource for families needing assistance with relationships, problem children, etc.
MacDerfus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:38:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But in this case they are acting on a false positive
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes they take children away from people because those people are criticizing public officials as a way of shutting them up. (CPS is sometimes used that way in this country. Documented cases exist.)
MacDerfus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:36:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's probably a massive pain in the ass to explain all that to an organization acting on a false positive
weightroom711 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CPS don't mess around. Might think coffee is an excuse, a cover-up
avree ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"haha I meant coffee when i said drugs"
"Ma'am we'll be evaluating this after our inspection and your court appearance in a month and a half. Until then your children will be in foster care."
ahaDudeSuh ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good way to keep kids from drinking coffee until they are old enough, and it's accurate.
pamplemouss ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 12:59:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a good way to make kids think "doing drugs" is fine cause mommy does it?
FishbowlSouls ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:10:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yah, their mom is relying on a drug, albeit one that makes her more awake and productive. How about instead of demonizing "drugs" we raise our children to understand and recognize the different kinds of substances they'll encounter in the wild, and teach them what they should avoid or not be afraid of.
MissMarionette ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ตDrugs drugs drugs! Drugs are good, drugs are bad! Drugs drugs drugs! Ask your Mom, ask your Dad! ๐ต
StabbyPants ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:00:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because then we can't fill the prisons
MacDerfus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
50/50 either way.
Nanabug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your kid has to be a special kind of stupid to jump to that conclusion. If they are old and smart enough to get drugs they should know its wrong
Ekyou ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's not really anything wrong with kids drinking coffee though. Popping a bunch of caffeine pills might be problematic, but I imagine most kids are exposed to caffeine pretty regularly. Besides, most (western) kids don't want to drink coffee anyway due to the bitterness.
friskydingo2020 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:46:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew is a total pain about eating anything-- he has some form of sensory disorder, and as a result will mostly eat from a short list of foods. Somehow coffee (black) makes the top of that list.
Ekyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a very picky eater as a child and also loved coffee. But I had a strange fondness for bitter foods in general.
friskydingo2020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if there is a correlation between the two. Though I was, and remain, a picky eater but to this day don't do any kind of coffee. Still a caffeine addict though :(
VesilahdenVerajilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my mother is also a teacher :D
Pris257 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story - the teacher went around the room asking if our parents smoked. I said my dad smoked a pipe. "But not like the ones you see on tv - his looks like a rocket." Yup - dad sure loved ripping those bong hits.
baby_shakes ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 12:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father used to shave my face with he back of his razor whenever he shaved. I went around telling folks "my daddy shaves me" thereafter. :/ I also got scratched by a bush once and insisted that he had cut me with his pocket knife...soooo....sorry, dad?
AlphaFoxasour ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:39:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While chasing my sister around the house she stepped on the cord for an iron and it fell off the counter and hit her in the back of the head. Cue next school day she tells the teachers "mommy hit me with an iron" XD pretty upsetting for my mom when cps came to check things out
MsSunhappy ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:13:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...yeah...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:56:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CantFindMyWallet ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:14:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh
Hobocannibal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little more and we might have had to bring out the magic card.
DiscordsTerror ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not activate the trap card?
Hobocannibal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was bad, but not "bitch hold on" bad... as far as reddit goes anyway.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 10:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. You've just reminded me that when I was little my mum would occasionally threaten to "run away with a black man."
What the fuck was that about?
towo ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:54:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany, we have the children's game of "Wer hat Angst vor'm schwarzen Mann?" (Who's afraid of the black man?); it's pretty much a generic term for a bad person, and it's pretty much associated with the evilness of the color. (Some people extrapolated it's related to the Black Death, which is pretty fitting in the context of the game getting progressively easier to survive the less people there are).
It's also a generic phrase used for a stranger/evil person, probably from the same context; black man coming to take you away and such.
PS: Typing this in English I notice the black people association. It's seriously not understood in that context.
MissMarionette ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:15:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God that is an unfortunate phrase.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:33:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have the same game in Finland (with the same name, just in finnish), and i just now realised what that meant ;(
DoubleCyclone ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 11:16:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, sorry about that. My dad was still in his roving days.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:18:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used to say that too! And that she'd come home with a brown baby, like all the other mums on the estate. I think it must be from a TV show or something.
Julia_Kat ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 11:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece told my sister (her mom) that she wanted to be a hooker when she grew up. She thought that was what a fisherman was called because he put the worm on the hook and caught fish that way.
baby_shakes ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once called my sister a horny wasp when I got really mad at her once. I still have no idea where that came from.
ffee_into_cotheorems ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:38:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is she slutty white Protestant of British ancestry?
baby_shakes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeeep.
katchoo1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The year I left for college my brother started kindergarten. My mom told me he told the teacher he had two older sisters. "I used to have three, but they took one away and I never saw her again." I had been gone for three days.
Minnim88 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:38:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother told his teacher when he was 5 that 'mommy is under the ground now'. She was on a work trip to Australia.
Aurelia-of-the-south ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he's technically correct. It's a little known fact but all Aussies and kiwis live in hobbit holes.
Benguinn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time my nephew came to me and said "my mummy was watching a video of a man with his willy out". I was absolutely shocked until my sister said that she was watching the film Dirty Grandpa and it was a scene from the film.
SpeakItLoud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:45:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boss has a puppy that spends half of his time with her and the other half with her brother and his two little girls. Dog being dog, he likes treats like pig ears, esophaguses and bully sticks. That last one is dried bull penis. The girls have started running around the house asking the dog where his penis is.
inEffected ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a secure building and the entryway/stairs/hallway are all really bright and wide - when we first moved in my 4 year old was convinced it was a hotel (and not an apartment building) so he told everyone at school that his dad just moved into a hotel...
skaileee ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when my mom was part of a book club. My family alway referred to it as The Club. One day, my great grandmother called and my eight year old self answered. When she asked me to put my mom on the phone, I told her I couldn't because my mother was at the club. My dad sat beside me laughing when I hung up the phone. He tried to explain the humor, but I didn't understand until years later.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 11:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar story: A woman visited my office last year and had to bring her kid with her. The first thing the kid said to me was 'the police had to come and get daddy earlier.' I had no idea how to respond and sort of just murmured something noncommittal. The mum laughed and told me that her husband worked at a nuclear power plant and he had to be driven in by a police car because of protesters.
lookalive07 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 11:22:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I was in either first or second grade and we had to write a paragraph about something that we wanted to accomplish in the next year or something like that.
I wrote that I wanted to raise a lot of money for my mom so she could buy a new battery for her car because it died recently. I had no concept of how much they cost and thought it was way more than it actually is.
My mom had to explain to my teacher that we didn't live in poverty and that she had already gotten a new battery for her car.
lemonbalm1974 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:53:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I would try to motivate my 3-year-old to go somewhere he didn't want to go, I would turn it into a race by saying, "I'm going to beat you!" and acting like I was going to run. I stopped after he went tearing down the sidewalk at daycare, in front of several families, shrieking "Mommy! DON'T BEAT ME!"
Teh1TryHard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
someone (because I'm a poor bastard) give this (wo)man gold... also, here take my up vote.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 08:58:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! My nephew is super allergic to cats and my mom has several. Often she will pick him up from school and he has asked her rather loudly "Grandma, are you clean??". He's 10.
statazinski ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 11:31:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was around 5 I had a black eye that occurred when my father and I were playing catch, and I missed the ball with my mitt. Fast forward a few days and it's all kinds of colors. Woman in Blockbuster Video says, "Oh no! What happened?" I simply respond with, "My dad hit me". My mom didn't say a word, and rushed me to the car, which I can only assume added to the narrative that I was living in an unsafe environment.
maczirarg ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:26:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That woman is still worried about you.
statazinski ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:48:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No doubt. I wonder if I've come up in her therapy sessions
Kensofine ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:35:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the time my Dad drove my 6 year old nieces to school. Singing along to a song on the radio with the words "slow and sexy" (by Shabba Ranks and Maxi Priest) he had no idea they were paying attention. Later that day, one of them told their teacher..."Uncle Jimmy said he likes it slow and sexy...and if you wanna see him naked, then you gotta say TAKE IT OFF". (Literal words in the song.)
Send_Me_Puppies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:50:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't your dad be their grandpa?
badooga1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:58:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A police officer came to our school in kindergarten and talked about gun safety. Later that day, I said "Daddy, you shouldn't play with guns" in the middle of a crowded bank.
udoingwat ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 06:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude thats savage.... I laughed so swear word hard
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 06:26:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm swear word crying
BernieEffingSanders ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:55:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm swear word shitting while reading this exchange.
o0Rh0mbus0o ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2swearword2fast
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:37:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
MermaidMan0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:07:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
trapdoorogre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:13:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone terribly afraid that someone else would falsely think I'm a bad person, this physically hurt.
LTCM1998 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one made me exhale loudly through my nose. thanks!
sch00f ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:26:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds of when my coworker told us he needs to take his wife to the vet... After us laughing uncontrolably for a minute he clarified it was to pick up their dog.
Seeking_Starlight ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for an agency that helped women escape forced sex work. My (middle school) son was so proud of me, he would tell anyone who would listen "my Mom works in human trafficking!" I was constantly explaining that I focused on the exit side and not the entry.
MonkeyPanda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:03:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in kindergarten, my mom was in teacher's college, and I knew basically where that was.
My big brother and I were on the bus heading to school when I pointed out the window and said "Look! It's mama's new school!", Pointing to the women's prison across the street.
My brother spent the rest of the ride trying to explain it to the other kids for me.
Precipiss ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:34:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in preschool I told my teacher that my ma drank and drove everyday... did not understand that drinking and driving applied to alcohol. Took a visit from CPS to clear that one up...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:34:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think that a teacher of all people would spot the mistake from a kid
Precipiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if you looked through my history at all, but I'm a black man that grew up in an almost all white small town in Virginia. As a kid I didn't understand, but as an adult, I'm 99% sure they just assumed my mother was a drunk/crackhead/whatever the fuck bigots tend to assume about about black women.
But yeah, you would THINK so, huh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. You'd hope so, I guess. I'm sorry. Bigots seem to have some magic of stupidity going in how they view people.
Precipiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not your fault my man, just how life goes. A lot of people have it much worse off than I do. I'm a free man, with a job, and a roof over my head. But yeah, bigots do tend to have ridiculous logic to justify their thoughts and behaviors. You only need to look as far as the white house for evidence of that.
MowMdown ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma was having open heart surgery and while we were all on the waiting area of an extremly large hospital, there were some Mennonites about 20 feet away from us and my 5 year old cousin yells, "Giddyup Cowyboys!" At the top of his lungs.
Funniest shit ever.
Losaj ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of elemtary school. I lived in a house with a finished basement. Me and my sister had our own rooms down there with a HUGE game room just for us.
We had an assignment to tell the class about where we lived, and I said "I live in the basement." Needless to say, when CPS came to our house, my mom wasn't too happy.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:27:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would that even be something to report though? If the kid looked beaten and malnourished then I get it but if they look and seem healthy I don't see why they'd get looked into
Losaj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers are mandatory reporters, and every case they report is investigated. If a teacher heard about child abuse and DIDN'T report it, they can be held liable as well.
Thesaurii ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:21:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but living in a basement isn't, by any stretch, abuse. "I live locked in a basement" or "I live in a basement and can't leave" is, but lots of people live in apartments that are at least partially below ground, or have finished basements, or whatever.
A teacher feeling like that is child abuse would be like calling CPS if the kid says he doesn't get enough snacks and thinking he is starving, or a kid saying he got in trouble and assuming he was beaten.
nsfwmodeme ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:53:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CPS? What's that?
Losaj ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:59:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Child protective services. It's the government agency that investigates child abuse in the USA.
nsfwmodeme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I see. Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Priceless....
When my youngest was in day care the first 2 years my wife and I worked really close together, so we carpooled 90% of the time. If I had to travel/work late etc we wouldn't. Well the lil guy heard us saying stuff like "hey hun I'm going to drive separate today".
So one day, when we drove separate, wife drops him off and teacher asks (after she leaves) where I was, his answer? "Mom and dad separated today".
Which lead to a note home hoping all was ok and offering counseling sessions.....
It was funny as hell and even the teachers laughed when we explained it (together) the next day...
AkirIkasu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:33:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Female Ninja Shelter?
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:20:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't a woman's shelter want to disclose their location? How else would the woman who need it be able to find it?
MoobyTheGoldenSock ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:27:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you want it undisclosed because these women often are escaping abusive relationships and you don't want the abusers to find them.
Community support agencies help the women get there.
croppedcross3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:45 on March 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm way late to the thread, but it seems odd to me that they'd be so secretive an employee wouldn't tell her husband.
MoobyTheGoldenSock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:10 on March 29, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read the comment as undisclosed from public publication, not undisclosed from the husband. As in the husband knew she worked there, but he and his daughter did not visit.
Legilimensea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I once said something I'm guessing my parents had to explain to my teacher. We were in little groups to discuss a reading assignment and I never finished the chapter so I had to make up an excuse and said something like "it's too dark in the basement to read" and that "when I go home I go straight to the basement".
I guess people thought I was being locked up but really we just had a finished basement/living room and that's where I went to watch Full House after school.
SkiahDudeGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We moved across the country when I was 7, we made a big road trip out of it. Saw the Grand Canyon, went skiing in Utah, drove through Texas, etc. When we were skiing my little sister kept telling the ski instructors we "were homeless." this confused the instructors since you probably shouldn't go skiing when you don't have a home. However she was technically correct. We lived out of a van at that point in time.
mattmu13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:28 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece came downstairs one morning and when we asked where she's been she responded saying she was in grandads bedroom playing with his snake.
Tuckered__Out ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:44 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you say "undisclosed location" because you don't want to tell us or because not even you knew which shelter your wife worked at? If it's the former, why bother saying "undisclosed location?" :-P
FluffyBlizzard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why couldnt you go? Too traumatic for the daughter to see inside a womens shelter?
Puffonstuff ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:24:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this case the shelter was for women that were victims of domestic violence who needed a place to stay where their spouse could not find them because they were in eminent danger. There was not a "no men" policy, it was just not a typical work environment where you could drop in and visit. I would occasionally go to the shelter for various reasons but I had to sign a nda and clear a background check first. It is tough explaining to a 5 year old why she can see dad at work (where she would usually get a cookie) but not mom and she just didn't understand.
ViolentGrace ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:34:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of woman shelters have a no men policy.
FluffyBlizzard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:13:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
im pretty sure they cant straight up allow no men inside, like if he was picking up his wife with his daughter or something, pretty discriminatory
Help-Attawapaskat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Undisclosed what? Is it like witness protection for rape-victims?
Puffonstuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Domestic violence victims who were in danger from their partner. I had to clear a background check and sign a nda just to be on property.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 10:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nak3dbacon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have a name on a sign out front, it just has an address on a sign. I'm sure he knew where it was but you're not really supposed to bring anyone around the shelter to protect the women.
s4rKRS ยท 1629 points ยท Posted at 04:53:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The head of school played football with me on the weekend in really cold weather, my friend and I were wearing shorts on the day. School comes around he's walking up the stairs with a colleague and we see him, he says to us "Nice to see you boys in pants."
zyzyzyzy92 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:26:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...what happened afterwards?
Joyceecos ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 07:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were diddled
2hoodrich4me ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 09:02:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not diddle kids
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 12:43:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
garbonzo607 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:44 on June 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed 5 minutes straight at this and I'm a 40 year old grown man.
theModge ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 09:26:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is far funnier if you are of the English persuasion and thus pants implies "under-pants". US pants are trousers here. No end of hilarity ensues.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:17:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
professorsnapeswand ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What part? That's stupid. What do they call shorts then?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:39:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends which part if the UK you're from. In the North West your pants mean your trousers. In 44 years I've never heard anyone in the UK refer to underwear as pants ever, it's keks, shreddies, boxers, grundies, undies, underpants etc.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:31:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call underwear man panties here.
craponapoopstick ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:51:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I googled shreddies since I've never heard that before and it sounded funny. Was not expecting to find this.
CaliGalOMG ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I like the models posing in the testing position.
themoriparty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the flip side, I've never heard anyone refer to them as keks, shreddies, grundies or underpants! I'm from the north east and we mostly just call them pants
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's embarassing for me then as I lived in the north east for 5 years! I can't believe I've never heard anyone call them pants. Maybe I need to get out more.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard someone refer to pants as underpants - I live in England, I thought it was an American thing. Pants are just trousers.
mcysr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:36:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, the UK is so tiny, how can there be that much variation?
Homofonos ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:49:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever seen two figure skaters spin each other in circles while holding both hands? You know how the closer they hold each other, the faster they spin? And eventually they either crash in a horrible clumsy mess, or they go shooting away from each other at high speed?
It's like that, but with inbreeding.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:07:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which makes absolutely zero sense I the modern era of radio, television, and internet.
The real answer is that the UK is chock full of people who are obsessed with their personal 'brand' identity to the point that that they carefully craft their speech. It's like a national full of Youtubers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to skip over radio and television. Yawn.
You said "manufacture", not me. The UK has long standing, ridiculous class and region identity. People intentionally use their speech as a signaling device.
TequilaAndBadChoices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Population density I guess
Beorma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:08 on April 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? Trousers is the norm in England, calling them pants is solely restricted to the North West of England.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:13 on April 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just so happen to live in the North West
TheGentlemanK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't education related, but as an artist, I usually like to draw sort of 1920's style fashion with dresses and suits, well one day I decided to do something more modern.
I showed a friend and he exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear, wow I think this is the first time I've seen you drawn a women with pants on.
GenericExcuseNumber9 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:54:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking funny. Screw the lack of upvotes, that is a good story. Thanks.
eric67 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:20:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heaps of upvotes
ScarletCaptain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:10:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know if you say "little boys pants half off" three times aloud in a Baby Gap, Michael Jackson's ghost will appear.
b2k1343 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:19:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Creepy
Anderduds ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 06:26:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a play called Unnecessary Farce that required comedic stage stripping (I wore a slip, nothing too crazy). 6 months later I was getting my taxes done and a little old lady comes up to me, stares for a while, then loudly gasps: "Oh! I didn't recognize you with clothes on! You were wonderful."
I immediately had to point out loudly that I was glad she enjoyed the play.
fleshflinger ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:02:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a cross country coach that made a speech at a parent-athlete end of season party and his first words were "it's weird seeing all you guys with clothes on!" He was also about 65-70 years old.
phillium ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school, one of our best female runners had a really short stride, which the coach was working on with her to lengthen it a bit. As some of the rest of the team was waiting for their turn to take laps, she came around the track and the coach lamented that he "couldn't wait for her to spread her legs." I don't think we let him forget that one.
Throwaway-wife76 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nurse and always wear scrubs. One day I had to go to work for some education stuff. I saw one of the docs I know on the elevator and we were chatting and being friendly to each other. Other people were on the elevator with us. He gets to his floor and while getting off he says to me "you look nice in clothes." Everyone gives me awkward stare.
Off_My_Damn_Lawn ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 09:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he did say it while he was getting off...
tacocatisonfire ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:27:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
anon_bobbyc ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 04:57:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shorts are comfy and easy to wear.
tetsu0sh0 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:23:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cue battle music and a level 5 Ratatta
tacocatisonfire ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My rattata is in the top percentage of rattatas!"
anon_bobbyc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"To bad it is still just a shit Pokemon"
Dilatorix ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:25:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I concur.
BobaFett2015 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 10:35:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in an Apple Retail store. Once I was talking to a customer who mentioned enjoying just coming in and playing with the products, and I said "Yeah, we're like an adult toy store!"
BabyCrippler ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:52:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I was in pre-school. It was special person day so I brought in my dad, and my dad liked to drink energy drinks while driving. I believe I said something along the lines of "I love my dad, but sometimes he drinks and drives"...
phillium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:14:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. My wife primarily drinks tea, milk, or water, and my drink of choice is some sort of energy drink. The primary source of my kids seeing aluminum cans is my drinks, so they always refer to anything in an aluminum can as being "like one of daddy's drinks". Hasn't caused any troubles, yet, but I know the day is coming.
not_homestuck ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my art history class, we were planning to talk about the (male) nude the next day, and the professor goes, "Maybe [the only two boys in the class] can help us out with this topic next class!". Everybody starts looking around in bewilderment and the two boys look very alarmed. The teacher continues on in this vein for a bit ("Maybe they can give us some insight/examples") and then, at the very end, says "because you two have been to Greece before and visited [x] museum, right?". We all started laughing and the poor teacher suddenly understood why we were all confused.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy was at his son's baseball game with his Wife and Daughter. At the end of the game, they were packing up their chairs and he swung his around and accidentally popped his 6 year old right in the face, giving her a black eye. The next day, her teacher asked what had happened and she said, not thinking, "Daddy hit me in the face with a chair." No joke, CPS was there that night and, despite giving CPS the truth, they put them on some sort of probation where CPS would come do random house checks.
Not two weeks later, back at the baseball field, the family was throwing a ball around before practice and the ball popped up off the pitcher's mound and nailed the little girl right in the lip. My buddy ran right over and said "Look, when anyone asks what happened, you need to explain the whole story." Luckily everything was fine.
idiotbabyjunior ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to ask if you're my dad, who teaches phys ed and is notorious for always wearing shorts even when coaching football games in -10 degree weather here in Minnesota. Sometimes people see my last name on my ID and ask if we're related and then follow that up with "is he still wearing shorts?"
But your grammar seems to be too decent to be him (sorry dad)
deltora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesotan! Woo!
ZurichianAnimations ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:32:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a science teacher in high school who always wore shorts. We'd never see him with pants ever, even in the winter when it snowed. It was funny because his name was Short. Mr Short who only ever wore shorts.
ZephyrWarrior ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:56:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
69 upvotes, how appropriate.
Yeah those are the kind of innocent comments that go off the rails real quick.
krokpastill ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:40:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if that had happened in the UK.
0whodidyousay0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would have happened?
aspiring_adult ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently pants means underwear over there.
krokpastill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pants= underwear. So, I just thought it would be more dramatic / funnier.
IthacanPenny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened to me, except I usually wear skirts...
LarkViewLancer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:39:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish my gym teacher had been called "Mr. Famous1187".
Jfelt45 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being a gym teacher must be absolutely terrifying in this day and age. Some kid eats shit and you have to choose between not helping them and risking a lawsuit for helping too much lol
tammybex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I knew how to drop a gif from my cellie. But, what comes to mind is the physical ed teacher from community who won't let Jeff play billiards without tiny short shorts
Jordykm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:57:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's dad was a carpenter. My boyfriend's mom took care of the admin side of the family business. One of the jobs his dad received was making beds for a brothel. While at his family business office my boyfriend (about 7 at the time) answered the phone (which he knew he wasn't supposed to) and told the customer "sorry, you can't speak to my dad. He's still at the brothel". My boyfriend's mom said she never moved so quickly to get the phone away and clarify the situation.
jocybum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:58:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK that would be a bit dodgy! Pants = underwear.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How come I have to see you wear pants?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:50:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't have got away with that in the UK.
HopCrazedPollux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in brewery, it's pretty common place to quickly check a batch for taste just before packaging, this means 100ml glasses of beer at 9am at times. My daughter told her teacher I go to work and drink beer first thing in the morning......Took some explaining for them to get I wasn't downing pints at 9am.
gufcfan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back I used the bathroom in a fast food place.
I used one of the three urinals. A young kid appears at the one beside me and proceeds to use it, but not before dropping his pants to the floor to take a pee into it.
I don't think I've ever noped the fuck out as much as I did at that moment. Got the fuck out of there. Never felt as uncomfortable in my life.
n21lv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of this TIFU.
sabbyfish2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach swimming lessons. One girl I worked with saw one of her kids in the grocery store and he yells down the aisle " Omg I've never seen you with clothes on before!"
mel2mdl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A frequent jogger in our neighborhood returned my sister's dog to the house, but he was fully dressed. My sister looked at him and said, in front of her husband, "Oh, I didn't recognize you with clothes on."
Took her a few minutes to figure out why her husband was laughing!
xiotox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a guy who works in surgery where everyone wears same color of hospital provided scrubs that they change into at the facility every day. Ran into my female boss in public and made the mistake of saying (while in front of her husband), "Oh hey Jackie, I hardly recognised you with your clothes on!" Had a hard time recovering from the social awkwardness of that one as i tried to introduce my boss to my girlfriend who also heard me say it.
markayates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A story in the paper last week. Police raided a terraced house somewhere in England. Boy of about 9 had told his teacher he lives in a terrorist house. Terraced/terrorist. A terraced house is >2 houses joined together - probably half the city houses are like this. FFS how can people be soooo stupid.
Awesomonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Played a fighting game with my friends kid. Saw him parent teacher conference and he says "Hey Mr. Awesomonkey, remember when you beat me?" I looked around at the shocked faces and responded with "Yup, watch it or I'll do it again."
KaboomBoxer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walked past my science teacher on 'own clothes day' in a school hallway packed with pupils and said hello. He gave me a strange look before loudly exclaiming, "oh it's you, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on!" loud enough for 30+ kids to hear. I quickly replied "Sir, don't tell everyone". I've never seen a man go so red in public before. Poor guy.
PrussianBleu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swam in high school and my team mate was one of the school clowns. He definitely got it from his mom, she was a riot.
I saw her at a school event once and without skipping a beat she says "I've never seen you with clothes on!"
IkkleSparrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a late teen I was living with my cousin because reasons. I slept in the top bunk in her sons room.
"Auntie Sparrow sleeps on top of me."
-_-
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to think on your feet dude, 10/10
funktion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should write a song about how you don't diddle kids
johndre_3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it
cubetwix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems alot like my old physical education teacher. He always wore shorts. Always.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this in the UK, US or other?
Whywouldanyonedothat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Concerned/ scared/ angry dad: Well, Mr. Famous, if that's even your real name... I think I have some questions for you.
zeajsbb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate all phys ed teachers for this reason. I struggle so hard to get my kids dressed appropriately for the weather. Then I go to drop them off at school and there is the teacher standing in snow with his damn shorts on. Put on some pants man! At least when you are outside in winter.
SoggyBott0mB0Y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just got to ask coach, Sparjan? Those double layer nylon things from the 80's. Are these your go to?
neogetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a brit this is even funnier
Emperor_Neuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never seen you in pants before!"
"Well, Jimmy. I have to look nice to meet your parents. ;) "
Thanks for clearing that up.
G_Morgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our PE teacher would wear shorts to that. Hell he was there once in shorts and t-shirt directing traffic in what could only be described as a monsoon. I asked him about that years later and he said "well I had you guys playing sport in the rain, it was either be a hypocrite or suck it up".
PM_ME_STEAM_CODES__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen a non-gym teacher wear shorts
Doaner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I teach Martial Arts and are almost always in uniform from the time people arrive to well after they leave. Every so often we see people outside of the school (e.g. grocery stores) and without fail they will say "I almost didn't recognize you with clothes on". We have learned it's much funnier to leave a long silence at that point to let them reflect on what they have said.
LyzbietCorwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You became really close to be the protagonist of Jagten's sequel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a lifeguard and took my friend that I worked with to homecoming one year. When I showed up to pick her up and saw her in her dress she exclaimed, "This is probably the first time you've ever seen me fully dressed!" in reference to the fact that we were always in swimsuits when we were together because of work. I thought her father was going to murder me before we cleared that up.
Grubbery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol reminds me of when i was a kid. According to my mum whenever we went down the alcohol aisles in supermarkets I'd proudly point out the name of every beer and spirit i recognised which was most of the big brands. Imagine a 4 year old shouting "Smirnoff! Jack Daniels! Gin!"
Little did all the alarmed shoppers know, i lived in a bar with my parents and my dad would teach me about the alcohol when he was bored on weekends. He'd tell me all about the process of making whisky Vs whiskey or how Russians live on vodka.
math-kat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend once tried to spread a rumor that our female friend came into school without wearing pants. Quite a few people of people were shocked at this scandalous rumor before they remembered we go to a school where the girl's uniform includes a skirt, not pants.
adisplacedcanadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to babysit my neighbours kids and their youngest had a crush on me, he would sometimes just come over and hang out. The one day he showed up, I was cleaning the house so I let him play the Sims on the computer. His mother calls an hour or two later for him to go home and I hand him the phone, he says "hold on mom, I am just watching AdisplacedCanadian take a shower", I have never grabbed the phone so fast. He had created a family on the Sims and named the characters after him, myself, and his siblings, and my character was taking a shower when she called.
Slimy_Shart_Socket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I like shorts they're comfy and breazy to wear"
spaghatta111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear god. I had to read that a couple times to get it
WillieNederWiet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:09:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If someone said something like that that could be interpreted more than one ways. you just look em in the eye and answer their question.
example:
Student: I've never seen you wear pants before
you: Well I think shorts are more comfortable.
jg__ ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 09:45:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those who can't do, teach, those who can't teach, teach gym.
WalkToTheGallows ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:06:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My gym teacher also teaches history/geography/political education, he just prefers sports and spends most of his work time with phys ed.
jg__ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you haven't seen School of Rock.
TetrinityEC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:00:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any point to this comment beyond just being a dick?
aspiring_adult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a quote from Woody Allen that's also in the movie School of Rock.
DSTMute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, so that's why you try to teach him about success
PapaSmurf1502 ยท 681 points ยท Posted at 03:12:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a white guy teaching ESL in Asia. My students were tasked to complete the simile, "The old man's hair was as white as _____ ."
One student asked if she could write down my name.
imadandylion ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:56:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you allowed it.
PM_ME_ANY_MUSIC ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:38:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... did you say yes?
PapaSmurf1502 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:35:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed and told her it was a good answer, but I couldn't allow it because my boss would eventually see it.
TwistedReaper00 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:47:38 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The old man's hair was as white as Papasmurf's beard ."
i_know_about_things ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
insert white teeth meme here
wnyg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dying
Whatsername868 ยท 30591 points ยท Posted at 03:30:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to middle schoolers in Korea, asked: "Ok, what's another way you can express surprise in English?" (after going over expressions like, "No way!", "Are you serious?" "Are you kidding me?")
Kid yells from the very back of the room: "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Whatsername868 ยท 770 points ยท Posted at 13:11:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another story you guys might like from the same classroom: Was going over tastes and food-related descriptions. I brought up the word 'sticky' and gave some examples, then asked if any 35+ students could think of more foods that are sticky. One quieter kid raised their hand and with the most serious look on their face: "Cum."
Me: "...What was that...?" mortified
Student: "Cum. Cum."
Me: *No idea what to do or say."
Another student: "TEACHAHHH, CUM!!" Made chewing motion with mouth
Me: Finally realized that they were saying "gum", because the G and C/K often sound the same to Koreans. YES!! GUM!! RIGHT!!!
I laughed for the 10 whole minute break after that class and still have no idea how I didn't while in front of the room.
banditkoala ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really really want to believe that they actually did mean Cum and just covered it up.
Somewhere out there are some Korean's telling the tale of cum cum.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Whatsername868 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:49:32 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The C when it's pronounced the K way ('cake') often sounds like G in Korean.
For example, Gwangju is sometimes spelled as Kwangju.
ProtoJazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:29 on April 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly g and k are not that far apart in English either. I can easily see if someone that's difficult to hear, not being able to tell
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
manawesome326 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:43:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, those are two letters, although I fail to see how it is relevant to the story posted above.
BlueYamato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out!
astervista ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 07:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing when I was little and still not fluent in English. Teacher said: "Which phrases can you make with beat?" (She was looking for something like 'Beat up' or 'Beat at'. I was reading a lot of stuff in English on the internet and said (without thinking much): "Beat the crap out of!", so proud of such a long phrase I had achieved. I was sent out of class.
waltjrimmer ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 13:21:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just glad that didn't go where I thought it was going (beat off).
sportznut1000 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:32:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah really, that teacher knew exactly what they were doing when they asked that question
astervista ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naah, I don't think she even knew what beat off really meant. I am pretty sure she would have said it didn't exist.
baconoverbacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poor kid
RazzPitazz ยท 5670 points ยท Posted at 06:36:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the RTS gamer.
EDIT: Thanks for making this my top comment!
ameya2693 ยท 449 points ยท Posted at 07:56:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BS 2rax no reactor rush cheese noob! Fucking Terrans
KTFnVision ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 08:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once 4-pooled into a protoss and cleared his drones almost before the second wave of lings landed. He messaged me for 15 minutes about how I was a huge noob and should give up forever.
I never cleared bronze league and that was the height of my SC2 career.
Rascalljh ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 08:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4pooling when you started with 6 workers? Might've found your problem :P
jokerj4513 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 08:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You start with 12 workers now! So 4 pool is even more impressive
clorested ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 08:50:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Preschool teacher here. For Father's day we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was "what does dad like to do?". Most answer were average but one little girl told me her dad "loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day"
DerNeander ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 09:12:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you commented on the wrong parent...
Cockmaster800 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 09:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell him
RazzPitazz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works :)
jalditersed ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:15:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you are rong
G_Morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You drone rush but build a drone with your initial minerals. Then you are able to 4-pool after that ends (assuming you haven't won).
TritAith ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:49:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way back in the day you did start with 4, we are talking SCI days back
breadfan01 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:22:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except clearly stated sc2
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:39:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jalditersed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain it's powers"
calertesed ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 10:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain it's powers"
RobotSnake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain it's powers"
RobotSnake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:42:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain it's powers"
jvjanisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except he said "height of my sc2 career" not brood war career
-jFk- ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:12:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He obviously built 4 pools, dummy.
Edit: Please come back, Husky!
BoxOfDust ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Broooonzzee Leeaaague Heeroooeees
good times
zangor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even remember the last time I watched Day 9 - oh wait, yea I can, it was 2011 (junior year of college) - He was playing Amnesia finally. My favorite thing he ever did.
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, he means 4 spawning pools.
plasergolds ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:26:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my students to "draw a conclusion" while learning about the scientific method. Student drew me a gorgeous picture depicting a conclusion to the experiment he was describing.
breadfan01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Need that 2 gas for ling speed i guess... :$
Khazok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he meant he built 4 spawning pools, it's 4x as good as the usual strat, because there's 4.
Arokyara ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 08:28:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You cleared a protoss's drones? Damn son. You cheesed him so hard you changed his race.
blaghart ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I beat a Gold player with a banshee rush once...he was not happy.
I also never advanced beyond bronze so I guess he got the last laugh...or maybe I did by not forking over 80-120 bucks for the next two expansions...
Rascalljh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now you only have to spend $20 to play the newest version, even less if there's a sale! You should check it out sometime, the game's improved a ton!
TheHelpfulBadger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:56:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love starcraft and just recently picked it after not playing for about 3 years. I was so excited.
But then I remembered I never sucked more at a game than SC2 :(
Rascalljh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:24:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sucking is half the fun though! I miss the days when I first started playing and didn't worry about the meta. Having the freedom to play the way you want without stressing about rank or winrate is how Starcraft is meant to be played IMO. Rank doesn't really mean anything in the end - I have friends in masters and grandmaster who are convinced they suck because there's always room to improve. That's not to say that it isn't fun at the higher leagues - it's just a totally different game that caters to different people. Just have fun playing the game and if you want to step up your game and try to improve, check out the allthingszerg/allthingsterran/allthingsprotoss and Starcraft subreddits or ask for some help in the ingame chat channels. The community is flooding with helpful individuals who are willing to help you improve or even just people looking to have fun and dick around in some arcade games!
Xenomemphate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but then you try playing it online (because the AI is no fun) and get crushed over and over again.
Rascalljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assure you there's players at or below your skill level. The matchmaker is a bit stupid in that it starts you off around gold mmr then just has you lose your first 20 games until you start winning and your mmr stabilizes. Just gotta stick through those first losses or throw a bunch of games first (which does admittedly suck). It's a lot harder to match a new player into fair matchups cause the matchmaker knows literally nothing about you and there's no teammates to counterbalance.
cantgetenoughsushi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:27:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've made it to masters twice and my problem with SC2 is your skill deteriorates fast if you don't play/keep up with the cool strats.
SugarFreeTurkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. This is what's stopping me getting back into really. I used to be high gold league when I played lots but spending an age reading up on new meta and build orders just doesnt seem like a wise investment for me to get smashed by some silver who is playing a new cheese strategy that Polt did on stream just 10 hours ago. There will always be a place in my heart for SC2 though. Fond memories.
cantgetenoughsushi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, every once and I awhile I come back and fuck around on 4v4 or the new Archon mode they got (not so new now though..). It'll always be a fond memory when I used to grind SC2 but I just can't play seriously, it feels like shit knowing my macro and micro used to be so much better while I float like 2k minerals..
ameya2693 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:23:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose he did turn out to be right about your SC2 career. :P Jokes aside, I haven't actively played the game for the last 6 months or so. I'd probably be barely better than you now. :)
KTFnVision ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:35:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was 5 years ago
ameya2693 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:35:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, the game has changed a lot since. You should have a look, its a bit more BW-esque now.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ameya2693 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:48:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh for sure. It was basically Collosi vs Roach-Hydra.
Cockmaster800 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cough cough swarm host
breadfan01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In what way is it BW-esque?
userdeath ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carriers. Carriers everywhere.
tydaize ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might not be the thread but ive heard a lot about SC2. Is it worth trying? (Would be my first RTS)
AllIsOver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can try it for free, so see for yourself what the genre is about. Also wouldn't hurt to check some YouTube videos.
Rnorman3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:36:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never played SC2, but in BW, it was actually faster to 5 pool, and 6 pool was only marginally slower with an obviously better economy afterwards. I can't imagine that the dynamics changed significantly in sc2 for that not to be the case.
So straight 4 pooling is actually pretty bad and your opponent was right.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rnorman3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't know about sc2. But I know for a fact in bw that 5pool was faster than 4 pool. We timed it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rnorman3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tested it with DS-Sho back in the day, but I don't remember if it was on 150 pools or 200 pools, so I'll concede that could make a difference, or there could have been some variance in initial split/mineral location on some of the early maps.
We were actually testing for 2v2s on bloodbath, that super tiny map where you're incentivized to pool early and do stuff like 6/7 gate or something.
I was a toss player so never watched too much tvz in osl/msl etc unless it was a big matchup where there is less likely to be cheese. If I saw a cheese pool it was usually pvz and it was almost always 5 - I assumed thru came to the same conclusion we did that it was faster. Though that was also usually unnecessary because it around when zvp was the most lopsided matchup at about 53% win rate in Korea proleague, so zergs were mostly incentivized to play straight up bc they were advantaged. I think years later there was a resurgence of like 6 Protoss players they called the Protoss dragons or something because they were dominating, but I didn't really play/watch bw anymore at that time. I imagine they found some new build orders that let them punish the infinite expand into ultralings build while harassing with mutas on a more consistent basis than previously.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rnorman3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I just remember having it hard coded in my head that 5 was faster and 6 slightly slower with obviously better Econ.
But I rarely played Zerg and if I did it was usually to help a buddy test a matchup against a specific build, which rarely involved 4/5/6 pool cheese.
blown-upp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to play BW a bunch but its been years, what is 4 pool/5 pool and 6 pool?
Code_Urban ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the number indicates your supply: 4/11, 5/11, 6/11 pool indicated the structure Spawning pool - this only applies to the race Zerg
you need to collect minerals to create a spawning pool which in turns lets you create zerglings, the first army unit you can create as a Zerg
the reason for people doing this sort of strategy is too catch your opponent(s) teching up to a certain tier of army units but before they have created some sort of army, they might have 1 army unit and only have worker units to defend the base so its most likely results in a quick win
Kannibalhamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for giving me some hope. While I don't play SC2 I'm pretty much scrub tier in all other games. Maybe someday I can get a 5 sec highlight reel together with a bit of luck. :D
SexBobomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
might be because you were missing two of your starting drones ; )
G_Morgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once a guy opened up with BMing me about how bullshit lings and banes are. So I two base baneling busted him.
Don't pretilt against me.
vengefulspirit99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:07:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh... they're called probes not drones.
_TheCredibleHulk_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:42:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole army was halluc
Code_Urban ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huk <3
SugarFreeTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't he active as an Overwatch commentator now? Always did like him.
blaghart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since when do you rush 2rax with no reactor, the reactor is how you make enough marines...
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since wings i guess. 11/11
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the last time I played was Wings, you never 2rax no reactor, gotta have marines to take the hits for your marauders.
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:03 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go 11/11 you don't have marauders
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't have marauders why no reactor? Reapers were garbage in WoL after the nerf, if you're going 11/11 reactor to marines keeps the flow up.
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because of time.
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reactor produces marines faster than a tech lab...
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:19 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously have no concept of timing
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reactor produces 2 marines at a time...tech lab produces 1.
Basic math says reactor produces faster.
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When are you taking a gas on an 11/11 rax? Basic maths says if you want to attack before 3 mins, you can't have a reactor built.
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:06 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see the confusion now.
You're planning all in
I'm planning long game opening push. I time gas so it pops at 11 (I believe, can't recall the exact pop, it's been about 4 years since I played) into a reactor so I can keep pressure up by pumping out marines
Rascalljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 rax reaper pressure into an expansion was actually a pretty solid build about a month ago :(
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I've not been keeping up with the Meta, I stopped playing at WoL when Reaper rush had been nerfed so hard you'd think they were using actual nerf guns as weapons.
Rascalljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In LotV they gave the reaper a skillshot grenade that did damage and knocked back affected units. This made mass reaper early game very hard to hold as a Zerg since early on you only really have zerglings and queens to defend with. With a recent patch they nerfed the cool down so it is more of a utility than a spammable ling-be-gone key.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_GALS ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 08:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Korea...all of them are RTS gamers...
ikbeneenheld ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 11:47:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well league is the most popular game in korea not really rts (not hating on league).
PlanetMarklar ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:49:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It started out as a modded rts (WC3/DOTA). It kind of started its own subgenre (MOBA), but it's still Real Time Strategy.
zangor ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit was a Warcraft 3 custom game for fucks sake. How did things blow up so fast.
Licenseless_Rider ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:03:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody in the RTS community would ever, EVER suggest that a MOBA is RTS. Lol. I dare you to go post on /r/starcraft ask if DoTA or LoL is an RTS.
You will get eviscerated.
PlanetMarklar ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:14:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well.... I have had this discussion there in /r/Starcraft before and didn't "get eviscerated" like you say. People are usually pretty cordial in that sub and I think many agreed that MOBA is a sub-genre of RTS. You may not agree it's a "sub-genre", but you can't deny that the genre spawned from RTS.
19Alexastias ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dota is almost like a more extreme version of WC3 on the Macro vs Micro scale (complexity of the units themselves vs the number of different units). WC3 has less unique units than SC, but the units often have more innate abilities. Dota takes that to a more extreme condition (even less units, but far more unit complexity, due to abilities and items). Anyone who can't see the RTS comparison doesn't really understand where the genre came from.
PlanetMarklar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, from a game developer standpoint it's obvious but Starcraft players are elitist as hell about their game (deservedly so by many rights). /r/Starcraft was especially condescending of League of Legends when it started to become clear League is the more popular game. There's not nearly as much animosity now luckily.
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If MOBAs evolved from RTSs, why do we still have RTSs? Kappa
PlanetMarklar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I get it. Not everybody can handle how difficult it is to play without being able to blame losses on teammates kappa
everstillghost ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? Dota and Valve itself reconize Dota as a ARTS (Action Real Time Strategy). And really, it's what it is.
1337HxC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I guess. However, RTS colloquially means games in which the player controls the army, production, etc. on his own.
RazzPitazz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just say LoL/DOTA/Smite etc all have really strong RTS roots and call it day.
aslan501 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rust has a prety big amount of Koreans that play it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:24:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE FUCK, 15 year regency and comet
KlingonAdmiral ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:19:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you play Byzantium and the Ottomans ally France
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:48:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i had the papal states ally the ottomans the other day
Seamus_The_Mick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the Ottomans ally Poland as the Byzzies. The game mysteriously crashed right afterwards.
Dragonsandman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody would blame you for ragequitting because of that.
AlwaysHigh27 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:54:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh so loud and so much that I woke up my roommates if I could afford it I'd give you gold dude. Thank you.
Whatsername868 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honored enough that it made you laugh!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:42:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canon rushed.
Gibslayer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:27:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So all of them?
ThermalConvection ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:04:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
t i m e t o z e r g r u s h
AlmightyRuler ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Said those exact words last night.
"WHAT?! Why is my unit dead?! He's supposed to be immune to that! What the fuck?!!"
Zybbo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:18:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
depricatedzero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me playing with friends in a LAN party back in the 90s. I've been hiding in a corner of the map where no one could find me and fire off a nuke. From the next room I hear "Nuclear Launch Detected" and then my friend Kevin shouts "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
I started cackling with glee, he comes in and shoots me with an airsoft gun. Fucker. It was glorious.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHINA NUMBA ONE!
LanikM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the classroom?
JimmyR42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he did say he was teaching in Korea.
Xenomemphate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is probably my most used phrase when playing Xcom as well.
pialligo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Korea...
MyFirstOtherAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like "What the f-BATTLECRUISER?!?!"
s65amg123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the overwatch player.
[deleted] ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 08:30:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RazzPitazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you mean "WTF why did the game spawn me in front of three enemy players?!?!?" then I would agree.
FPSXpert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean CS.
krystal_rene ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 06:48:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can attest this.
I accidentally taught these two Korean exchange students wtf and the meaning behind it and it's all they say when they see me. I found out that they only use between each other and me, thankfully.
Camptain0 ยท 512 points ยท Posted at 03:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO that's great
Kobe7477 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 07:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WELL I'LL BE
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 10:24:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Darn
mortiphago ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:03:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hecking
tacocatisonfire ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:32:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
H'wut
Warpable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in excitation
Smgth ยท 379 points ยท Posted at 05:32:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have also accepted "Jesus fucking Christ?!"
Fred_Fred ยท 218 points ยท Posted at 06:42:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Jason Bourne!
TallNotSmall ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 07:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsjasonbourne
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 08:13:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ...
2rapey4you ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 09:03:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...it's Jason Bourne.
buddaaaa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:23:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit
nomi8105 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 10:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/itsjasonbournereddit
Lokimonoxide ยท 348 points ยท Posted at 06:50:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in Korea, too. I had a young kid come up to me and say What the Fuck right to my face. So, I'm getting flustered and pissed off and I'm asking him why on earth he would say that to me. Thank god a Korean co-teacher was there because she knew what was happening, "Loki Teacher, you don't need to get so upset. He just wanted to tell you about the WATERPARK.
Korean pronunciation, man. WAWTAWPAKUH. There's no F in Korea so it always comes out as a P sound. My priend Prank, shit like that. I've actually overheard some middle schoolers saying Fuck You to each otehr and I wouldn't get half as upset if they didn't pronounce it like, "Paw Q, Paw Q."
Anyhoo, quite embarrassing.
MzunguInMromboo ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 06:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's good that there isn't an "F" in "Waterpark" then.....?
Lokimonoxide ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 07:00:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but if you hear the P sound from a Korean learner whose English is really low, you have to retroactively decide if it was meant as a P or an F sound. Same with R/L and B/V and J/Z. F, V and Z have no hangeul equivalent. R and L's borders get crossed a lot, too.
abaddamn ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:37:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puck you, Miss
Lokimonoxide ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 10:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's puck you, Sir, you little ์ํฐ ํํฌ.
throwawaycatsop ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
์
looks like a little flower next to a wall
Lokimonoxide ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 11:44:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
์ท hello. I'm a hooman
woeful_haichi ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ํ You forgot the hat.
Lokimonoxide ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
์ป you forgot his midsection.
woeful_haichi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:08:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He needs to work out more, then he'll have a six-pack like this:
์ท
Lokimonoxide ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You continue to delight, woefulhaichi. Do you know ใ ใ ใ ใ ?
woeful_haichi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I don't think that I do. What am I missing?
Lokimonoxide ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:43:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, it's Korean for the middle finger.
woeful_haichi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:46:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh. Obvious now that I know what I'm looking at!
Lokimonoxide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH SNAP
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lokimonoxide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been to Korea?
MzunguInMromboo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:05:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair, just checking.
PlzGodKillMe ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checking what.........
Kevin_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not good autocorrect, that's for sure.
MzunguInMromboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My own understanding.
GreatNegotiator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:48:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it all check out?
thedeforce ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:01:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But there is an F in "what the fuck". So when the kid said what he said he probably replaced the P with the F in his mind and thought the kid said wtf
Sports31 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Small puckin brain on MzMrob, you dont need to solve the riddle for him
srgrvsalot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:02:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point is that if you've grown accustomed to translating "p" sounds to "f" sounds as a result of people pronouncing their f's as p's then "park" can sound like "fuck."
Zeikos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it is in "fuck".
idi0tf0wl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed the point.
FudgeNouget ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't ใ the F sound?? Fuck would be ๋ป
Lokimonoxide ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใ is hard for foreigners. It's like a more forceful ใ but without infringing on ใ 's territory. Hahahaha also, f will sometimes be pronounced as a hwa sound. So file sounds like hwa-eel.
__EXTRATERRESTRIAL__ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it really amazing how we learn how to make the sounds for our native language and it becomes so natural. Sometimes I read about English sounds that are really hard for people who speak X language and I find it hard to imagine not being able to make that sound. However I have intermediate skills in French and have tried to pronounce words/phrases in other languages and there are some sounds I just can't make! After many years of learning French I still find difficulty in pronouncing R correctly, and in certain words I can't do it at all!
Lokimonoxide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VRrrrrrrraiment? My gf is Korean and she can't do the G in neige to save her life. Hahaha it's a J or a Z for her.
Chimie45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 'ur' sound as In 'water' or 'earth' is also very hard. My wife is Korean and it's just 'uh' All day.
The_Original_Miser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to urf.
Lokimonoxide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's bettaw dat wayee.
Chimie45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've kinda given up on the others pronunciation. She doesn't give me shit for my terrible Korean vowels and I dont rag on her being unable to make any fricatives.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An anglophone person I knew could hear the different between "rue" and "roue" when francophones said it but she couldn't make them sound like separate words because it's hard if you can't roll your R's.
FudgeNouget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใ might be hard for foreigners, but you're teaching in Korea, meaning you are teaching English to Korean kids right...?
Also, as a Korean, I have never in my 20 years of speaking the language every day heard someone say ํ์ผ (file) as hwa-eel (and not pa-eel).
Lokimonoxide ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:25:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ํ์ดํ !!
seung2613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well some old people does say file like hwa ill
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:04:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
seung2613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is interesting way of think lol
Tierria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a stronger b almost a p
throwawaycatsop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ ใ
psystorm420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's definitely F in the Korean language.
Lokimonoxide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How? Are you Korean?
-My Korean girlfriend in response to your statement.
thektulu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it may have been a joke that didn't land.
psystorm420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:35:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I was born and raised in Korea until 10th grade and my opinion is that "ใ " sounds like "F." One of reasons why Koreans struggle with certain pronunciation in English is because bad habits formed by loan words that do not accurately represent the sound. Many Korean loan words were heavily influenced by how the Japanese made loan words and the Japanese writing system has even more limited variety in pronunciation. i.e. the word "ํฉํธ" should've been like "๋นฝํธ."
Foooour ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesnt sound like f at all, more like a hard p
The f sound is labiodental, meaning the lip and bottom teeth touch. The ใ sound is bilabial: your two lips touch.
Am Korean that studied Linguistics
azthal ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 09:53:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are teaching a language, and your first reaction when someone says something offensive is to be pissed off? The idea that this is an obvious misunderstanding never hit you?
You must have been a great teacher.
jakielim ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've clearly never been to Korean hagwons. Even the elementary school kids are foul mouthed as shit and trust me when I say they know exactly what they're saying.
azthal ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except, the student in this case didn't...
Lokimonoxide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he very easily could have and I've heard it all before. I was wrong, I admit that, but to say I was out of line is another thing altogether.
Lokimonoxide ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever taught in a hakwon? Some kids are absolutely atrocious there because their moms are paying for it. Kids learn fuck from the Internet and they think it's like saying ์ ์ฅ (damn). So yeah, when I think some kid is saying fuck to my face, I'm going to get angry. All I said was that I got angry and asked him why he would say that. You make it sound like I yelled at him and called him a cunt.
It was my first three months here. Trust me, every teacher is shit their first three months, let alone in a language the kids dont understand. I'm an amazing teacher now.
azthal ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 10:24:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught Swedish for Immigrants. I've never, ever been angry when someone have unintentionally said something offensive.
Instead, when someone swore or said something else offensive I would ask "Do you know what that expression actually means? What you said means ..."
I have been angry the few times when they did understand what they said (in general insults aimed at other students), but I always made sure that it was not a misunderstanding before getting mad.
amalgam_reynolds ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wasn't even participating in class, just playing on his phone.
GreatNegotiator ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was playing Summoner Wars and got a Fusible five start Mon.
BladeRuner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a false 5 water joker
AwesomeTrinket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:47 on April 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I MAY BE SUPER LATE TO THIS BUT I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I UNDERSTAND THOSE REFERENCES.
You know what would be even worse than getting an awakened Sian or a fusion mon?
Getting Nyx.
send_me_a_naked_pic ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 07:00:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People outside English-speaking countries say very offensive things because they've learnt them from YouTubers and alike and they don't understand their real meaning.
FloatationMarks ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 07:22:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also because they don't have the same frame of reference for offensive words because it doesn't have the same impact as swears in their own language since they didn't grow up getting yelled at if they said them. It will never have the same level of offence.
A while back, I once had a Korean student who raised his hand and when I pointed to him he points to his partner and is all "Teacher! She said 'fuck' teacher! 'Fuck!' I can't believe it! She said it, she said 'fuck' teacher!" and on he went like that for a bit, knowing full well that it was an offensive word in English. But he would have never dared to say ์จ๋ฐ because it's just not the same thing.
uncanneyvalley ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:48:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would one say ์จ๋ฐ, and in what context. You know, for science.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:24:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mongster_03 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:00:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FORNICATE YOU! WHAT THE FORNICATION?
doublegulptank ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:21:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wot in fornication
Chimie45 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shibal with a hard s. Means Fuck. Used in most of the same ways as English except you can add sekki to the end and make it son of a Fuck.
FloatationMarks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, really. I study Korean and am somewhat proficient but at this point, I'm mostly self-taught and the books I use don't cover swearing so I have to learn it from my Korean friends :P
I suppose you could say "์จ๋ฐ์ด์ผ" (ssibal-eeya) to someone. Which would be the sort of equivalent of "fuck off" or "fuck you." You could also just say it when angry as an exclamation, like if you bumped your toe on something and hollered out "fuck!" ์ ์จ๋ฐ! (Ahh sshibal) You can also say "์จ๋ฐ๋์" (ssibalnoma) which is like saying "you fucker" or "you motherfucker!"
EDIT: all the other replies are probably better than mine, heh. Anyone with better Korean feel free to correct me.
spyfox321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread.
As a Korean, I can proudly say that the Korean language has the most complicated and creative swears.
์จ๋ฐ is the equivalent of Fuck. ๋ณ์ is a equivalent of retard. ๋ is the same as bitch. Bitch in male form is ๋.
You can mix any two Korean swears together to make a new swear however some exceptions/rules or grammar occur.
I'm like that guy from the movie "๋ฐฉ๊ฐ๋ฐฉ๊ฐ" where that Korean dude teaches the foreign workers Korean swears like teaching English.
FloatationMarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:43 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound cool. I'd buy you a beer in a ๋งฅ์ฃผ ์ฐฝ๊ณ any day.
RadicalLemma ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:14:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually makes a lot of sense to me, I have Korean classmates and I say ์จ๋ฐ to them jokingly, but I never considered it having the same intensity as "fuck".
FloatationMarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next time he's staring at you, say "๋ญ๋ด?" It's sort of like saying "What the hell are you looking at?" Though fair warning, if you said it to someone on the street in Korea, it'd probably indicate you were looking for a scrap.
You can also use "๋ญ์๋ฆฌ์ผ!" Which you say to someone when they make no sense so it's like saying "What the hell are you talking about?"
Both I learned from my students. They never said them to me because that would be hella rude but they say this stuff to each other fairly often and no one seems to care, because I guess they're all on the same level in the school hierarchy or whatever.
spyfox321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:44 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the school, the 'hierarchy' could be just randomized kidding or either organized into a full on Yakuza.
Korean schools ain't kidding.
Source : is Korean.
FloatationMarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my school is an elementary country school where it seems like no one really cares, parents included. No one ever bothers me about what I do all day.
I couldn't possibly comment on how rigidly the kids enforce the hierarchy themselves or even how hard other teachers do (I would say not very from what I can tell) but despite how much they scrap with each other I feel lucky because they are usually really polite and friendly so even when they fight, it never seems like they are actually out for blood. Which is certainly not the case in many other schools from what I hear, especially in the cities. I'm a pretty affable teacher though, so I'm sure that helps. The worst I deal with is when they won't shut the fuck up.
That being said, another teacher I know saw a kid get a full on smackdown from a teacher in his middle school because he was talking down to a kid a couple grades above him. My friend was pretty disturbed by it. I was like "Korea, dawg."
XxsquirrelxX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:10:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
T-shirts with offensive text on them are actually quite popular in non-English speaking countries. They don't actually know what it means, so they'll wear clothes that say "I'm a whore", or "Fuck you", and they don't see anything wrong with it.
That was also part of the problem with the Fiverr Pewdiepie controversy. As it turns out, the Funny Guys (who are from India) didn't actually know what "Kill all Jews" meant, because they were not familiar with the word "Jews".
SilverKnightOfMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like that shit just means poop?
send_me_a_naked_pic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:14 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yes. "What the fuck?" is used like a simple "what?"
Masr_om_el_donya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:11 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Completely true, here in Egypt a family comedy show could have someone casually switching to english for a second to say "What the fuck" or "Oh shit" but would never say ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE TO THE PROXIMITY OF THAT in arabic.
DorvoG ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:58:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope they aren't stealing our lemons.
captainbluemuffins ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
those whores
DorvoG ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:05:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, hasn't it been about 10 seconds since we last looked at our lemon tree?
Airmeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:13 on July 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am really confused as to the meaning of this why would you say this? It makes absolutely no sense in this context
CherryRiot ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:02:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beauty is that things like this are never said quietly. Plus, they're usually paired with a member of school admin or a snarky teacher walking past the room.
Middle school represent.
DaPino ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are there so many people on Reddit who taught english in Korea?
CardMoth ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need any qualifications outside of being a native speaker and having a bachelor's degree. Most of Reddit probably fits that bill, and a lot of people teaching English in Asia are kind of losers without much else going for them.
creampunk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Losers with yellow fever and not much else aside from that.
Zeebuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has always seemed like a needlessly cruel stereotype. It's also a cool way to get out of your ordinary life and try something totally different and be adventurous. I know a great couple who went to teach English in China together for the new experiences and are having a fantastic time.
CardMoth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done it myself, so I'm not saying all English teachers are like that. From those I've met, though, the stereotype seems to hold true.
creampunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:06 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of folks show up and treat us locals with such disrespect, litter everywhere and tell us to our faces that we're dirty and backwards and turn around to rave about how cheap everything is and how easy it is to live here. I'm an English speaking local so I get both shit on to my face, and westerners confiding in me about how much they love my country but can't stand the people. I wish it were "a few rotten apples" or whatever but it seems more like a barrel of rotten apples with one or two good ones in there.
HBthePoet ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:42:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite so far.
dorkmax ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the most difficult things about a new language is understanding slang. This child will do well with English.
AnticitizenPrime ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:39:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, in French - 'Oh lร lร ' has no direct translation in English, and is defined as an 'expression of surprise'. Kid in a class I tutored decided to translate it as 'JESUS EFFING CHRIST!!!'
Queen_Jezza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about "blimey"?
PM_ME_MAGIC_TRICKS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:32:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go back to your crumpets, tea drinker.
xlivebythecreed ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:28:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE SWEAR WORD!
pies_at_the_zoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in Japan. I've had so many experiences like this.
trf6_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a family friend who went out to SK to teach English as part of a big personal revolution in her life. I'm sure she has plenty of stories like this.
SwammerDo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to imagine this was in Finland and the kid was the Hydraulic Press Channel guy.
"VAT DA FUCK?"
spyfox321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god.
As a Korean Highschooler.
This makes me proud.
These are student who make Korea proud.
Whatsername868 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! I gotta say, the punk kids in the back of the room were sometimes secretly my favorite students. ;)
Lord_Skittlesworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lemon stealing whores!
LoneBee116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol i dont know how id contain my laughter
Iamnotsmartspender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in the voice of the "this is library" guy
Zarzak_TZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You found the gamer
Esfir35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Green day fan?
mongster_03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you referring to this?
"Dickhead, fuck face, cock smoking,
Mother fucking, asshole, dirty twat
Waste of semen, I hope you die hey!"
from Platypus?
scarheavyfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was 100% correct, not 'technically'.
SpacePoliceInhua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid got an A, right?
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On holiday once, the hotel had a lot of Italians. I played volleyball with them, and befriended them, picking up some phrases, including "What's happening?" and "What the fuck?".
I accidentally shouted out the wrong one in a very innocent situation and got glared down.
Could be the same here - to the kid, they're just syllables of some foreign language.
But yeah, funny as hell!
Arihantsuhail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wot in
EJFP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahaha
randomness217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vat za faack!
-Hermy- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in a Korean accent.
Raffaele1617 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English to primary school kids in Spain and literally every day one of my kids says this... x'D.
Darragh555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked for an example of a phrasal verb and a kid in the back said "fuck off". Full marks!
Smash1289 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how my father-in-law reacted when we told him his first grandkid was on the way!
BobSaget420Swag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid's a legend
0ttr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love it when someone swears in a language they don't know... because it's so casual, devoid of all cultural baggage.
stevesmith111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, hasn't it been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree?
HEY WHAT THE FUCK
weird_in_UIC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid is now my hero.
tarzan322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if that is surprise as much as it is angst.
KarkatTheVantas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, I literally just burst out laughing.... in the middle of my class. It doesn't help that the professor was talking about Catherine the Great.
Jacosion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this.
Katerinu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Korean your first language? If not, through what ways did you learn? Also, that sounds like a very entertaining job!
Hof354 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waz it akward when you had to explain what what the Fuck meant in Korean?
Whatsername868 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I'm pretty sure my students knew. American entertainment is big in the country.
possiblynotnormal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:49 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao, this is my favorite.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely correct
ElMachoGrande ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:55:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No OMGWTFBBQ?
someguyidunno ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:05:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WE NEED MORE PYLONS
prabodhm7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:53:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That has to be South Korea.
ScrunchedUpFace ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hory shitu
Youngssseok ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Korea ayyyyyyyyy Are you my teacher? Nah
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 08:36:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NightmaresInNeurosis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:11:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on...?
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they're saying the kid in the back is the actual teacher as a joke.
KoreaFYeah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:29:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, many native English teachers are coteaching with Korean teachers. But private schools, native teachers are alone in the class. I taught in public schools and I was often the main teacher. I did everything in the class and saw the students more than the Korean teacher. It depends on every situation.
PinkDolphih ยท -101 points ยท Posted at 06:36:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thatHappened
SayoYasuda ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 06:41:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
TomTPT ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:30:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothinghappensatall
Homozygote ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 06:43:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/seriouslyhaveyouneversteppedoutsideyourbedroomthisstoryistotallyplausible
romanozvj ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:48:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely sub
Homozygote ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my faves
PlzGodKillMe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:38:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. One day you too will have a life young sprout, with stories of your own to tell.
TemiOO ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:42:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
SayoYasuda ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:42:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*high five* <3
PinkDolphih ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, nothing ever happens. None of these things happened.
SayoYasuda ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:05:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol the insecurity
PinkDolphih ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 07:07:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
huh
The_Real_Mongoose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also teach in Korea. This happens constantly. They hear it in the movies all the time and a lot of kids don't even realize it's a bad word.
May I ask what about this story you find unbelievable?
Oikeus_niilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont see a way that this hasnt happened
[deleted] ยท 3899 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL teacher. I had my students do an activity where they had to give directions based off of a map and situations I had chosen. The final question was more complex, and one of my students wrote, "Way too difficult, take a cab."
Exzyle ยท 289 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had a smart ass do something similar in my directions class.
Me: "How do you go to the bookstore?"
Student: "Use Uber."
Funny the first time, less so the next 7.
jakielim ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 10:38:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directions class?
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ChCkP ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 14:42:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then download the Morgan Freeman voice and eliminate the stress of city driving by having the voice of God tell you where you're going in life.
SArham ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:14:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But don't let Jesus take the wheel. That guy's blood is literally wine.
wo3tie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exists?
Seanrps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love waze, is there a specific place to get his voice?
ChCkP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but I don't remember where/how to get it. It came out a year or two ago with the London Has Fallen movie. I'm pretty sure it was limited time promotion thing.
danforth347 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 11:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psh. Kids these days. Back in my day, you had to drive yourself to the bookstore. Uphill both ways.
icepick314 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:46:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well..aren't you fancy schmancy with a automobile!
I had to walk to the bookstore. Uphill both ways. In 7 feet of snow. BAREFEET!
Ameradian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:48:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is only possible if you were also wearing your grandfather's pajamas.
Noventia ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:40:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow look at this fancy motherfucker with his CLOTHES
MildlyAgitatedBidoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:57 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Macklemore.
Agent_Kozak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Barefoot
Temjin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:04:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at this fancyboy... you had feet? We had nothing but nubs walking in the snow uphill both ways.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Directions class? Is this Greendale Community College?
mikey_6906 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:27:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah bro, you're thinking of ladders class. directions class is city college (the fuckers)
Exzyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have written directions lesson.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 07:17:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had the same situation with a 50 minute direction class. Every answer was just 'walk there'. OK, so how so we reach Walmart? 'By walking'. Which way do we walk? 'To Walmart'. Do we go left or right? 'Just walk to Walmart'. 50 fucking minutes.
Sokaljands ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 09:55:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you walk to the grocery store?
Easy! You just walk!
How exactly, you ask?
just walk
And bam! You're there!
Congrats!
itsgreymonster ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1: Identify grocery store
2: Walk to it
3: ???
4: Profit!
GreatNegotiator ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:51:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:46:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... you arrive at Walmart?
Agent_Kozak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 07:34:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 07:47:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
americanmook ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:49:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's how CEOs make millions? If anything it's the greatest lesson you can learn in a capitalist nation.
I_have_popcorn ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 08:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The CEO and the taxi ride are two different situations.
The CEO is using your time to make him money.
In the taxi, you are trading your money to save your time.
null_work ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:19:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever get plumbing done by a plumber? Basic electrical work by an electrician? Do you do all maintenance and repairs on your own car? On your computer? On your furnace, etc?
Time is money, and all the jazz, and utilizing the products and services that other people offer is only a good thing.
I_have_popcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but the original taxi story was -- these instructions are too hard, I'll just get a taxi to take me.
That's like calling a plumber to use the plunger, an electrician to turn on a light, a mechanic to open the trunk, etc
null_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, too complicated is when you call the person who does it for a living. They weren't calling the taxi for easy directions, like getting a plumber to use a plunger. Like the story went, it was the complicated question that they took the taxi route. They were just being efficient in finding a solution.
I_have_popcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we are both making assumptions.
I work as an ESL teacher so I may be underestimating the complexity of the directions.
skud8585 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless your time is more profitable doing something else. And you can be doing that thing while riding in the back of a cab. HAH!
APocketFullofRye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Money is a renewable resource, time is not.
Spearsy23 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:53:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rolled my eyes so hard I picked up a spare.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
null_work ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:17:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Broken sink? Don't call a plumber and get them to do the work! Fix it yourself! Engine get blown out? Screw paying someone whose job it is to do that exact thing. The only "correct" thing is to learn how to be a mechanic yourself.
A taxi is a person you pay to provide you the service of getting where you need to go. Teaching children to utilize the productivity of those around you is a bad life lesson now?
AxltheHuman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:51:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was in elementary class where we had an activity to give a step by step direction or something, I actually think i wrote, ride a taxi on one of them because we always call a cab when we go to that specific place, (It was a mall i think).
ratsta ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fellow ESL teacher here. One of our lesson plans very specifically noted "Taking a taxi is not a valid student response!"
Changsta ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL students are some of the most clever bastards I've ever met. I was teaching this baking class with a bunch of 4th graders in English. One of the words we learned was 'whisk'. I asked the students to come up with their own sentence with the word 'whisk'. One kid raises his hand and answers, "My dad drinks a lot of whiskey."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious! Yeah you're right, they are pretty clever. It's also funny that stuff students can get hung up on. I was recently explaining long vs short comparative adjectives. One of the words was long and my student put more long. When I explained it she complained and said(in her native language), "well you said all long adjectives usemore so what is it?"
pbjtime9977 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my geometry class lol
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 3556 points ยท Posted at 00:13:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taught English in Korea and Japan, and while maybe not that funny one student who wanted to say something like "afterwards" or "in the end" wrote "the after was here". I stopped for a moment and just stared off into space after reading that.
ProceedWithLaunch ยท 2482 points ยท Posted at 02:45:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried so hard
And got so far
But the after was here
It doesn't really matter
Nintendraw ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 07:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm surprised it got so far
Things arenโt the way they were before
You wouldnโt even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
The after was here
masheduppotato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:26:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And even thought I tried,
it all fell apart,
What it meant to me,
Will eventually be a,
Memory of a time,
When the after was here...
timeforaroast ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedlinkinpark
GodOfDumbness ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried hard so
go so far.
But the after was here
matter really it does not.
creechr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:23:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this version better
SadGhoster87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The after was here
As you fade into the night
Who will tell
The story of your life
entropicdrift ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's something unpredictable
But the after was here it's right
I hope you had the time of your life
averyhungry ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:33:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
spat out my cookie
MeowthThatsRite ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:37:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry for your loss
Tallguy415 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying
Lupin_AAGL ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:29:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
911
APUSHMeOffACliff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Depressing piano]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG i just laughed so hard!
LotusPrince ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 02:52:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we're talking grammar gaffes, then I once saw an elementary student's short story, and there was one part that said:
"There may have been chemicals in the water. There was."
Something about that hit me in just the right way. I laughed until I cried.
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally unrelated question, but do you need to know Japanese and Korean to teach there? I've heard no but it seems like it would be very hard to teach English without knowing the native language. Thanks!
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 01:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need to know any of the native language to teach overseas, but it absolutely helps (both your job chances and your life if you get the job). I didn't know any Korean when I went to teach there, but I majored in Japanese before teaching in Japan.
The Japanese program was more competitive than the Korean one, so I think having Japanese proficiency definitely helped me get a placement.
Rizyq ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm considering trying to teach overseas in the future, and I'm planning on/considering going for a Japanese Minor. Do you think this would improve my chances significantly?
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:24:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will help, but significantly? Hard to say.
Displaying an interest in the culture (beyond anime) is valued, but like the other reply, teaching experience and certifications are prized.
In Korea, teaching certification, TEFL/TESL certs and majors were highly valued and received better salaries. Specifically in the case of Japan, I don't think that stuff was as important. JETs are assistant teachers, following the Japanese teacher's lead, and can often just end up acting as a living prop. That being said, I think enthusiasm for teaching, Japan, and trying new things in general are the biggest factors.
In my personal experience, it looked to me like the better your Japanese was the higher your chances were of getting placed in a rural location became. As these towns often don't have English speakers in their BoEs, they often request teachers who can be self reliant.
Xan_Void ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:06:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're trying to maximize competitive viability, doing things that actually involve teaching are prioritized. If you have a degree, minor, or certificate in teaching, or teaching English as a second language, that helps a lot. Teaching experience is also valued.
I don't think have a minor in Japanese will help you out on an application that much, but I'd still do it if you want to. There's no way it would hurt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While going for your major and minor, consider getting a TEFL certificate as well. They're super helpful.
Doctah_Whoopass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:32:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How in the hell are you supposed to teach english in non english countries without speaking that language?!
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look. It's really not that hard. Most language courses in universities are taught almost exclusively in the language being learned, even from day one.
That's besides the point, though. We serve as co-teachers or assistant teachers to the 'actual' teachers. In Japan our biggest roles are to let the students hear English from a native speaker and to foster an interest in English and foreign cultures. Some teachers want us to just act as a prop, other teachers want us to come up with the entire lesson.
But they really don't want us using anything but English in class.
Queen_Jezza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they know some english already.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I've actually been interested in learning Korean for some time now, although I am currently learning Spanish I am thinking towards the future. How much have you picked up and how hard has it been? Would you recommend learning it? Thanks again
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Korean alphabet is (by design) very easy to learn. During my time as a teacher, without even studying I learned (more like absorbed)how to read from looking at bilingual signs and labels.
I later had the chance to do half a year of study abroad in Korea, but my experience is atypical. I majored in Japanese and this helped me immensely in picking up Korean, because the grammar is similar and they share quite a few words from Chinese. Comparatively other students seemed to struggle.
Would I recommend it? From a life standpoint, that's up to you. Completely depends on your aims and ambitions.
However, I would say it's probably the easiest of the Asian languages to learn as it doesn't use Chinese characters.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah Yes, I've dabbled a little in the alphabet already and I've seen it is very easy to learn! Grammar would probably be harder for me not having your background and being very different from English. Anyway, it's nice to hear your experiences, thanks for sharing! Have fun in Korea and Japan :D
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out the book series Talk To Me In Korean. They have a great book/workbook combo that I thought was great for me while I was there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out soon!
vamplosion ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:51:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you apply to a program like JET or EPIK you fufill the role of something called an ALT (Assistant Language Teacher) - where you'll be placed into a classroom with the english teacher and then help/do the english parts of the lessons - a plus of this is that you don't need to speak the language to be able to do this and you'll have some support teaching the lesson. A downside being that you'll basically be as utilised/ignored as the main teacher sees fit.
If you want to be the sole teacher in a school you'll need qualifications that require you to speak the language and to have lived in the country for some years. I'm not a teacher but I do work in local government in Japan and have only ever met one person who was an English teacher at a High-school and not an ALT.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
No_Source_Provided ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:48:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been teaching in China and Korea for five years, and no. Absolutely you do not need to speak the language.
In China it's harder to get by in your day to day life as a resident of the country but it doesn't effect your job. In Korea so many people speak English in the larger cities that it's just not a problem- plus a whole ton of Korean common nouns are basically English words.
The Japan situation is a bit different. Employers are very keen to know you want to adapt to their culture, they want you to learn the language and take a genuine interest in Japan.
However, technically if I am caught speaking Korean to the kids here outside of an emergency, I could be fired. I am hired to be a total immersion teacher and honestly, I can't tell you if its the best form of education, but over my three years in Korea specifically, I have taken three groups of 10 kids who didn't know the letter a, and 12 months later they are reading, speaking and writing at a great level... so, doing something right.
xiaodown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://kydeanderic.com/FAQ/#3t
(and other things on that page)
mroperator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't answer your question, but in my time abroad I learned that the best way to learn a language is from teachers speaking only in that language. They did this in a class I attended in Italy. There were people from all over the world there speaking many different languages, so it wasn't practical to teach in all our different languages anyway. But I will always swear by that method of learning a language.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this before! Total immersion seems to be the best way, but what if there is a particular topic that's hard to explain without using the native language? I would guess they probably know at least a basic level of their own language, especially if teaching younger kids. But for older kids I can totally see this. Thanks!
mroperator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically you just build up the very very basic vocabulary at first, and then before you know it you're able to teach progressively more complex ideas based on those basic words you've been teaching. It takes quite a lot of forethought and planning to do it well, but good teachers can definitely do it with enough time. Of course, with young children this will be difficult because they just can't comprehend as much even in their native tongue. So, for that you're limited to what they could understand in their own language.
Edit because I didn't explain myself well enough.
Something that's hard to get over is comparing the new words you learn to your native language, but with enough time and vocabulary the student will be able to think and understand purely based on the language being taught, allowing them to learn concepts they may not even fully understand in their native language. Even this can be achieved, you simply must set a very solid foundation for the student on which to base all their later lessons.
I hope this makes sense :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does! Thanks!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught in China. It wasn't hard. I taught middle school, so the kids already knew conversational English. My friends who taught younger kids taught with song and dance.
BreadCrumbles ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:05:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The way ESL folks sometimes put together phrases in a not necessarily incorrect, but unusual way is so fascinating to me.
My ESL (Chinese) roommate once described lavender as "[smelling] like sleep." I thought it was delightfully poetic.
SpacemanBates ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:44:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the best i've gotten is "I AM SOCCER!" with two neat lines through it, crossing it out.
i just got this image in my head of a kakarot-esque student getting convincingly defeated several times and beginning to think, well geez, maybe i'm not soccer...
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just did a stack of papers like that today. One student was homework, another was festival.
SpacemanBates ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooh, i know that feeling. some of the mangled english comes off as almost lyrical, too.
like this one:
If the teacher was funny, too, it was good.
To dance, very, only a trouble, it is.
But it's fun and done.
then, of course, you've got the ones who are almost right but misunderstand just one word and it drastically changes what they're saying:
"I touched foreign people... I like touching foreign people very much. I will be able to touch them when the 2020 olympics in Tokyo holds. I am excited for it."
apparently visitors to the Tokyo olympics should be wary of handsy students XD
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing
I_am_Mr_Goose ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:59:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not being an ass but having both a degree in education, experience , the TOEFL and fluently speaking Korean (I'm Korean), I thought I was guaranteed a position. But I'm 100% sure I was turned down for not being Caucasian.... From my experience there's a heavy bias for hiring foreigners
coinaday ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:22:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so here's the plan: we use my name and whiteness to get the position, then you teach the class in whiteface while I hang out getting destroyed on the Korean League of Legends servers. Deal?
I_am_Mr_Goose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deal
coinaday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright! Send me a link to apply to!
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:08:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.. They rrreally wanna learn English from a white person, preferably blonde... Were you applying through EPIK? I wouldn't expect that kind of discrimination from them.
I_am_Mr_Goose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it was through teachaway who connected me with another group
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When trying for a job like that I, personally, would never go through anything but the official government program. If you're still interested in a job like that I recommend EPIK, and only EPIK. They won't care that you're Korean.
Do you know what kind of school the 'other group' was? I know hagwons really want white folk, so much so that I've heard of them hiring blonde Russians just to act as a 'face'.
I_am_Mr_Goose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks I'll definitely take a look into it; teach away put me in contact with a rep from HESS international who sent me on a wild goose chase. On a side note I heard that the government was actually cutting in hiring foreign teachers at the moment which is why I haven't tried for a second round
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're as qualified as you said I can't see them not hiring you.
And it sounds like you were in the for-profit grinder.
Matt872000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong. The thing is that Korea sees a huge difference between people who are ethnically Korean and "foreigner."
Whereas in Canada I'd think there is more of a difference between an ethnic Korean Canadian and an ethnic Korean Koreans but most business and even the Korean government would see a bigger difference between Ethnic Korean Canadians (Gyopos) and white Canadians.
I'm not saying it's right, it's just what I pick up on living in Korea. There is definitely a bias towards hiring "foreign-looking" teachers, though.
You might be able to get the Gyopo visa and move over here to teach English, especially if you have a degree, but it would be really hard to get a "foreign teacher" position.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True story here. I worked for a college prep company in China that had a lot of Korean clients. I wasn't a teacher; I did test development. One day none of the teachers were in the office when a prospective student and his parents came in for an interview. The boss of the company (who is Korean-American) came over to ask me to pretend to be a teacher to do the interview, because I was the only white person in the building that day. So yes, you were 100% turned down because you're not Caucasian. I'm sorry.
smithee2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:50 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same in Thailand. White teachers are preferred. The Fiipinos, Indians, etc. are paid less.
Flyawave ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 08:44:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
keep telling yourself that buddy.
I_am_Mr_Goose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Treemags ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were a lot of funny things in this thread, but for some reason this one killed me!
I-am-a-llama-lord ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took japanese first semester this school year and my teacher explained that their structure is different so asking "where am I?" Is quite literally saying "where is here?" Which isn't wrong i guess
finnknit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:02:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the kind of stuff you get when you try to Google translate Finnish to English.
AcrobaticPirouettes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely unrelated, I love your username.
seg_faulted_user ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's deep
One_Huge_Skittle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is so damn poetic
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's poetic as hell. i love it.
zamach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MARTY, WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The future is now
elcapitan520 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now
TrowwayFiggenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/poemforyoursprog
C21H27Cl3N2O3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a Japanese game show where they had to tell a story in Japanese, and then again in English. The stuff they came up with to get around not knowing words was insanely creative.
John_Mica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're right, that's pretty funny.
fantabularistical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that "technically not wrong"?
John_Mica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is "the after was here" technically wrong?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:05 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you will do the needful?
derp2004 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand what you wrote
bobh2os ยท 6515 points ยท Posted at 03:16:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English in Korea going over vocabulary words.
"Dozen"
"Egg Family"
Same kid, a month or so later.
"Evolution"
"Monkey level-up"
AlmightyRuler ยท 2836 points ยท Posted at 09:50:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an anecdote I heard in another thread. An Asian guy was grocery shopping in America, but couldn't remember the English word for "chicken." To remedy the situation, he grabbed an egg, walked up to a cashier, held up the egg, and asked "Where is mother?"
yuemeigui ยท 764 points ยท Posted at 13:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who once stood at a butcher shop mooing at the meat in an attempt to get them to understand I wanted to buy beef when I didn't know so much as the word cow, I totally respect this dude.
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:25:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And look at you now! Typing with more grammatical grace than most native speakers!
yuemeigui ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 09:08:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't in the United States at the time this story took place. My native language is English.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:15:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh! They'll find out!
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 19:12:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just picture some guy mooing at the food and the guy behind the counter just kinda like "wut".
yuemeigui ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:13:38 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a pretty big crowd. You lose your self consciousness pretty quickly when forced to speak foreign.
katrashian ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:04:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh I remember when I visited Paris and I attempted to buy some pate. I can't eat pork, so I flapped my arms and squawked until she pointed to a certain brand and squawked back. Still don't know what bird I ate.
avree ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:25:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a 99.9% chance it was duck.
yuemeigui ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:18:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it was goose.
katrashian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be. I heard "oui" but it could have been "oie"
ChocoWafflePie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:50 on March 30, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why you buy a pack of flash cards with food on them before you travel or move. So you can communicate!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:25:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to do this and then tell the butcher that I am speaking to the dead.
RebootTheServer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:52:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you moo?
gfyhue ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:05:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the direct implication.
Chaosky1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:57:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The explication.
simbaLongLiveTheKing ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 12:58:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a story like this with my grandma. She had just moved to Canada from Bulgaria and barely knew any English. She went grocery shopping but couldn't remember the word for "egg". She went up to the cashier, started flapping her arms and making chicken noises, then acted like she was laying an egg. Apparently the cashier laughed a lot but she got her eggs.
Akoniti ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's professional level there. If I couldn't remember the word, I'd probably just decide I didn't need it that badly!
RAFCRA ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 10:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son of a bitch someone told this story to me while I was travelling
Rakkuuuu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle stopped at a gas station looking for eggs and made us wait. He said this happened to him and we all bought it, damn...
[deleted] ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 11:16:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
angela0040 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 12:13:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap that recipe in FF XV makes much more sense now, thanks.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:22:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pelleas ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:32:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they just translated it literally because they thought it was funny.
Roarlord ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:10:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, man. It's a Mother and Child Rice Bowl. Not a bad translation, just a literal one.
MundaneInternetGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Translating everything literally is what those online auto-translators do. Doesn't work out too well, and it's why there are so many professional translators out there.
Roarlord ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:56:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the name still makes total sense! I stand by my belief that literal is good in this case.
ClashmanTheDupe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:02:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least they didn't translate enemy names to "Soccer" or "Dingleberry"
lordsmish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i assumed it was just bigger then usual so they could share
siddharthvader ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:26:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oyakodon
creampunk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:59:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just the Japanese.
beaverteeth92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's where the title of "Mother and Child Reunion" by Paul Simon comes from.
bobh2os ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:17:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. I always had a lot of respect for him for going out there and phrasing things with words he already knew. Shows more intelligence than just getting it right on a quiz.
cwbrng ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! My first thought was that he was using word games to help boost his memory. Very smart!
creampunk ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:01:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a Chinese guy. He's a comedian and during every lunar new year, Chinese TV has a bunch of celebrities host and participate in an all-day variety show. He told that story along with the time he was in a hotel and saw a mouse. Forgetting the English word for "mouse," he calls the front desk and says "you know Tom and Jerry? Jerry is here."
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:46:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend posted something similar before (he's Chinese). First time he went to a hotel in the English speaking world, he saw a rat. But he didn't know how to say rat in English. He rings up the assistant, and says, "Do you know Tom and Jerry? I found Jerry."
creampunk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:07:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry dude, your friend stole this from somebody else. It's a bit from a really well known (to us Mandarin speakers at least) variety show.
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:21:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was once shopping for groceries in Quebec when he realized he didn't know the French word for "eggplant". So he asked for "plante d'oeuf".
skyvex1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:55:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying to hold back my laughter right now
ThatLaggyNoob ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, "chicken" in Korean and English sounds nearly identical.
peppermint-kiss ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 12:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only for fried chicken like KFC; they borrowed the English word. The actual word for chicken (the animal) or general chicken meat is similar to 'dahk' and 'dahk-gogi', respectively. But I don't think a Korean man would forget the word for chicken in English unless he had problems with his memory anyway, yes. Could be a different flavor of Asian.
MyFirstOtherAccount ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:22:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you a word
peppermint-kiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, thanks, fixed.
Malak77 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:20:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer "dahk" meat also.
Hobocannibal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer dank meat.
turningsteel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:36:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there are a ton of English loan words in Korean.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:48:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BloosCorn ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are quite a few, but not as many as from a lot of other languages. We steal a lot of Korean words for food directly (kimchi, bulgogi, pajeon, etc), but not all. Also anything that is a Korean cultural or social artifact (hanbok, chuseok, chaebol, jeong, han) usually isn't translated into a comparable English word, but just written with comparable sounds in English. Most of these have been popularized recently though alongside Korea's rapid development. Other than taekwondo I can't think of many common words that an English speaker would have likely known even 30 years ago.
marpocky ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other than taekwondo I can't think of many common words that an English speaker would likely know now. The vast majority definitely don't know things like kimchi, bulgogi, and hanbok unless they have direct experience with Korean culture or frequently eat Korean food.
BloosCorn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like kimchi is relatively common, but I do concede that your average American wouldn't know most of these words.
Wintermuteson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've never heard of it
siddharthvader ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's probably more english words borrowed from other countries in Asia such as India, China, or Japan due to longer/closer contact between US/UK and those countries.
For example
India: avatar, bandanna, cheetah, guru, juggernaut, khaki, loot, nirvana, pundit, shampoo, typhoon, verandah, yoga
Chinese: ginseng, mandarin, lychee, tea, wok, zen
Japanese: emoji, ninja, rickshaw, sudoku, tsunami
labrev ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've spent my whole life speaking Japaneseใ and I never knew fucking rickshaw came from jinrikisha (ไบบๅ่ป). My mind is blown.
kevo31415 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a native Mandarin Chinese speaker and I never knew the word 'tea' came from (albeit a regional variety a long time ago) Chinese.
siddharthvader ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:00:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ni hao. You'll like this then https://imgur.com/DtlhRD9
FerrisBueIIer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:54:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
India: Pajamas(!)
bobh2os ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably company names would be most common. Like Samsung - I believe it means "three stars", Sam being three and Sung being a super old word for star.
destructopunch ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:25:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't even know that chickens could speak English, let alone Korean.
Jerlko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they borrowed the English word for chicken. Fun fact, "rendez-vous" in English and French sounds nearly identical.
-Q24- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:42:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there some people who don't know it's a french word?
wyveraryborealis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh definitely. I grew up along the historic French trade corridor in the US and we have a lot of French names for things and places that we don't think of as French. Most (though not all) of the pronunciation is horribly bastardized.
Dottie-Minerva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't they sound the same because they are the same? Those are the French words. Though it is often conjoined into one in the US (i.e. rendezvous)
XxsquirrelxX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A woman who spoke mostly Spanish at my grocery store was having trouble finding something, and started to rub her hands all over her body. Turns out she wanted lotion.
DeseoX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAH I REMEMBER THIS ONE TOO!!
yolibobchris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:54:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerry is here.
LaMalintzin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:30:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just cracked up at that. Like, laughing out loud, by myself, though the pun was intended.
Utkar22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Egg kima
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great!
borgnar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may steal this and base a short story on it.. You'll be credited as a contributor
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she were as pedantic as everyone else in these comments, the cashier would say, "um, probably a farm somewhere? They use different ones for eggs vs meat, even though the bird can do both."
In other news, I was once asked by an Asian tourist, "where is mayor White House", because he didn't know the term for "city hall".
LMB_mook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't animals reared for meat usually male, though? He hadn't thought this through.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:51:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
VoraciousGorak ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you having a stroke? Is everything okay?
RedneckMandi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JFC I can't breathe LMFAOOOOOOOOO I'd like to think that your keyboard is possessed but I'm also worried for you.
DogsRNice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/commentgore
Wrbhawkeye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ my phone decided to open reddit...
ardenthusiast ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:09:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is Chinese, and while his English is very good, he sometimes says funny things like this.
He wanted to take me out to a fancy French restaurant for our anniversary but couldn't remember what he wanted to order when we went. He told me it was the famous French food. Ummm... snails? escargot? No, that wasn't it. He finally said 'seeds! We want seeds!' I doubt this place serves granola for dinner. lol. 'No, ardenthusiast, fish seeds.' Oh... you mean caviar. lol
p_kell ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:53:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid was high key playing Pokรฉmon
Muffinmurdurer ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 08:16:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So this kid learns the word dozen a month before the word evolution? I think you skipped about half of the dictionary there.
BlayAndHowlie ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 09:35:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, D comes right before E.
reecewilliams2435 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 10:09:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that D comes before U
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
ElHijoDelPetroleo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:53:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude
super_aardvark ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, before and after.
Foxborn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:14:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the D is little after U comes.
zkroak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this joke
r/Jokes/2c2957
bobh2os ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha dude we weren't going line by line through the English dictionary
Muffinmurdurer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but evolution seems to be a far harder word than bloody dozen. I'd still be expecting them to learn about easier words than that.
Thesaurii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You start with common words, not easy ones, then move on to uncommon words, not hard ones.
Or, more commonly, you start with learning words frequently used in sitcoms and game shows, so the person trying to learn the language can watch T.V., follow the conversation, and learn words that way.
Muffinmurdurer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes sense, but I don't see evolution used nearly as much as dozen. Eh, I'm not the English teacher, and I've known the language all my life so I haven't had the experiences that an ESL student would have, so just do your own thing because it almost definitely works better than what I say.
VehaMeursault ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some next level mnemonics here.
leonprimrose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:21:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a cap level monkey until the devs make another expansion
-Karakui ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:14:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is the best kid.
gigijuggle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am also teaching in Korea, this one made me actually lol.
spyfox321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am Korean.
Now at last I am proud of my country.
ZypherMyth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me think that he actually knows English really well if he's able to make jokes like that
exwindchaser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me. I need to go get an egg family at the grocery store.
linkletonsan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations! Your Monkey level-upped into Monkier!
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid is going places. Like minimum wage work for starters.
jakielim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old was the kid? Hagwon teacher I guess?
bobh2os ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably 12-13. Good ol "Daniel".
And yea, hagwon at LBY.
Herowebrine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but, it was funnier to read that with the phrasing of , "Same, kid.".
SpcK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerry is here.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he plays pokemon ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
banditcleaner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
monkey level-up OMG
notbobby125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was.
ChippyLipton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid would've loved the alternative animal name memes... y'know, "danger noodle" etc.
Mukor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Humans dumped all our points into INT and kinda forgot about DEX
usr_bin_laden ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, we grabbed DEX but didn't take STR.
Primates have freakish brute strength and the dexterity for tool use, but our hands are much more precise.
xNaVx ยท 599 points ยท Posted at 03:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach ESL in a university in China. The topic in class was the effect of sleep on study. After introducing the phrase "pulling an all-nighter," I asked the students to give some advice on how they can stay awake in class after the pulled an all nighter.
Student: "Take some cocaine."
Me: gives student an odd look "Excuse me?"
Student: "Yes, you know, like in Coca-Cola, coffee, tea..."
Me: pauses for a moment, now understanding what exactly what he meant, but prompting him "Cocaine?"
Student: realizes what he has done "Oh shit, I meant caffeine."
Dracomax ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 17:13:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Cocaine would probably work...
masheduppotato ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:41:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as effectively as one would hope. Gym class, maybe. Lecture, you'll be a disruption that burns out before the end of class.
smashleigh123 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 21:12:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was 5, sitting in the car with my Mom, and Eric Clapton's "Cocaine" comes on the radio. Excitedly, I tell her "MOM! This is what Dad and John do in the backyard!!".
She freaked, obviously, and my Dad was like "Yeah... she thinks that song is about Croquet."
milkysniper ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Silly cocaine always sneaking in
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:11:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coca-Cola used to contain cocaine.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CharlotteFields ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:41:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it got it's name from the coca leaf, which is the raw material cocaine comes from. Coca Cola if I remember correctly came up with a way to process it, leaving cocaine out of the drink
lizardwizard7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:11:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family is hosting an exchange student from china, and last month while we were watching the super bowl he gets up and goes "I am tired! I need some cocaine!" And my parents and my grandma were all like what the heck?!?! And he was like you know... grabs a soda out of the fridge cocaine! In the soda! reads ingredients OH CAFFEINE!!! Never gonna let him forget about that one ๐
ilivetofly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is ESL? How do you teach it?
complains_constantly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English Second Language
ilivetofly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
Kenny_Dave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Doyle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBJ_PwpoIvs
Schpau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He saved it real good for being high on cocaine.
kawaiiren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:13 on March 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he pulled an all nighter.....
OhFFSSeriously ยท 7747 points ยท Posted at 01:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(On a 3rd grade Charlotte's Web quiz): Give 2 pieces of evidence that support this statement: "Charlotte was a good friend to Wilbur""
"She comforted him and she didn't let him become pork."
spritanium ยท 1821 points ยท Posted at 08:32:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what I don't get about that story? Why is the pig the one who becomes famous? The real news is the fucking supergenius spider who knows how to think critically and write in English. Who cares what it thinks about the pig; I want to know its thoughts on the origins of reality.
mrmindful ยท 1570 points ยท Posted at 09:11:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god we don't live in a world where talentless pigs hog the limelight.
DiscordianAgent ยท 1000 points ยท Posted at 09:15:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You... actually just made me re-think the intended message of that story.
sadmadmen ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 09:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he was going to start a pun chain with the hog the limelight joke
mrmindful ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 09:54:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cynical social commentary rounded off with a puerile pun. I like to offer something for everyone.
FlipStik ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:36:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
swoon
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
swine
riffrafz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:34 on July 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
schweine
404GravitasNotFound ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admirable, but tossing off those gems of humor around these piggish readers is like casting pearls before swine.
SadGhoster87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You tried to become the new Descartes before the whores guy, didn't you?
EDIT: spelling
404GravitasNotFound ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:03:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha is it getting solipsistic in here or is it just me
SolongStarbird ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:18:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my heck, you're right.
...I need to lie down now.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<Insert Trump joke here>
Anklebender91 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:35:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't expect an Amy Schumer mention in a Charlotte's Web post. Have an up vote.
TheTangeMan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:37:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, you get one too
Alpha-Bravo-C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bit unfair. Didn't he do a few backflips and stuff?
sheddinglikeamofo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:23 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/nocontext
Michael70z ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:31:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but people are too chicken to stop it.
zappahead69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
USA's current political situation
ILike2TpunchtheFB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most would say it's the universal dream.
borgnar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyyyy
LeakyLycanthrope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too real, bro.
BarryMacochner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
explain honey boo boo! or jersey shore.
supamario132 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:40:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh?
BarryMacochner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
naw caught.
supamario132 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll whoosh myself out then
iron233 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kardashians?
CourtGentry ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 14:20:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Did you see the latest review of Amy Shummer's stand -up routine?
karl2025 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:50:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conversely...
You have a supergenius spider who knows how to think critically and write in English and the only thing this spider has to say is that this pig is amazing. The spider is obviously interesting, but the fact that this pig is so astonishingly awesome as to completely captivate the attention of this spider is also pretty interesting.
PM-ME-UR-HAPPINESS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing really special about the pig though, the spider is just trying to make him look impressive so that he's not slaughtered.
karl2025 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As the reader in a book, sure, but as an outside observer?
Regardless, this is still a story of an intelligent entity being so enamoured with a pig that it spends its entire life finding ways to communicate with another species simply to convince that species that said pig is great. I mean, when was the last time you saw someone spend literally their entire life talking about how great something was?
That is assuredly Some Pig.
PM-ME-UR-HAPPINESS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason that Charlotte felt the need to try and make Wilbur out to be something so great was to keep him from being slaughtered. It's established in the beginning that he was the runt of the litter and Fern took a liking to him because that's what young girls do in novels about the cute animal. He didn't even win anything at the fair; the only thing special about him was Charlotte's praise.
He wasn't special by any real measure, it's just that Charlotte knew that he would be slaughtered for meat if she didn't do something to help him, so she did because she was a kind and gentle soul.
You could kind of read the book in a way that you can make something as pathetic as an undersized pig to be great, and that you don't need to win something in order to be remembered and worthwhile, and that is a good message to teach to children. However, we ultimately are more attached to Charlotte and herdeath at the end of the book., and even still, if the message of the book is that everyone can be special, then he's still no more "some pig" than any other pig, because he's just "unique like everyone else."
diddly ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did name the book after her.
naryn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:36:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky, it's a science fiction novel half of which focuses on super-intelligent spiders.
funkyb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:48:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Though while you're reading ignore all random thoughts that feelโฆ spider-y
maximumhippo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The spiders in his Shadows of the Apt series were also notably intelligent. Though they weren't literal spiders.
naryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he seems to like insects
FordFred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a spider enthusiast I am extremely triggered
funkyb ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:52:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the animated film they at least use a line to explain this. One of the farmers looks at Charlotte to see if he can see something special that made her write in her web and comments "why it's just a little old ordinary gray spider." And they determine that Wilbur being special is what made her write in her web. It's not great logic, but what do you want? They're hick farmers.
BZH_JJM ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:40:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we look at the lesson of Varys the Spider, spiders tend to prefer staying in the background and pulling strings. Charlotte surely had some motive behind saving the pig.
BlueLineB ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The characters actually make that comment in the original animated movie. Mr. Zuckerman comes out of the house and sees the web for the first time and says "it appears we have an amazing pig", to which Mrs. Zuckerman responds that it "actually appears we have no ordinary spider." But Mr. Zuckerman sees Charlotte above the barn door and says; "nope its just an ordinary barn spider." Yeah, except IT'S WRITING!
spritanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL they really aren't bright. A simple visual inspection is all it takes for them to determine the spider is normal, but a visually-uninteresting pig is suddenly amazing just because the web says so?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So write it. :)
Not mocking. Really saying so - Do it. Why not?
genmischief ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:30:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shes a female, duh. Relegate that brilliance to a supporting role!
Or, is she truly brilliant because shes not headed for the butchers block?
Foxglove777 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was just thinking the same thing. Because she's female -- so she'll never get that recognition like Wilbur will. Either that, or it's just expected that we'll be brilliant and resourceful all the time, so it's not that remarkable.
genmischief ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:10:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was only saying that ironically. I think she is by far the smarter of the two.
Wilbur is expendable as well as hopeless. She has chosen to take pity on his plight and help him out despite his naivety.
I think it is a very flattering way to portray her frankly. She is kind, and caring, and wise, and saves an innocent idiot. Glory is far from gold... Charlotte has shelter, safety, and people who care for her. What more could any reasonable person ask for. Short of natural disaster or predators (which I don't remember them mentioning in the book), she's essentially untouchable.
So, while YMMV, I find this to be a fantastic example of a positive female role model. Shes smart, tough, and secure. But it doesn't get in the way of her being kind to others.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only a female but, a spider as well. We all know how oppressed spiders are. From life saving medicines, pest control, high definition monitors, one of the strongest materials in the world...and we thank them by burning them alive.
Doctor_of_Recreation ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:05:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that was your /s tag I saw on the ground back there.
Nuggetsofsteel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck?
Drachefly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she got the book named after her.
LithiumNoir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlotte was also voiced by Debbie Reynolds in the movie. So...Charlotte really did die.
D00G3Y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll never know.
NeonTaterTots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its because the pig is the man
CamGoldenGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is called Charlotte's Web (so there is a nod to the spider) and not Charlotte's Oinker.
beaverteeth92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo has a cousin named Scooby Dum who can speak English, but who's really stupid. Like who cares? He's a talking dog. Because he can't read the Emancipation Proclamation no one cares he can talk?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:14 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the pig is special because he is the first ever recorded schizophrenic pig?
SomethingWithMittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:12 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the pig only had "talent" because Charlotte trained him. I still don't like spideys.
PatSmiles17 ยท 1091 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read Charlotte's Web for fourth grade. The teacher asked us to write about what might have happened if Wilbur hadn't been saved by Charlotte. I invented a new pig and had the two pigs murder the farmer. I have grown less morbid since then but it drew a rather concerned response from my teacher.
EffervescentBlizzard ยท 837 points ยท Posted at 06:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Animal farm?
Lagaluvin ยท 281 points ยท Posted at 10:04:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I wasn't the only one.
What if Orwell was actually a 4th grader and all that sweet sweet political context is just imagined...
XxsquirrelxX ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:02:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1984 is just him complaining about how strict his parents are.
Schindlers_Cyst ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:37:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his big brother was a dirty snitch.
Kavaalt ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 11:47:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 legs good, 2 legs bad
ThatGingerlyKid ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:01:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what about chickens?
Kavaalt ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 12:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 legs good, 2 legs bad
Drachefly ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 12:38:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are clearly limbs of locomotion, not manipulation
voliol ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed that for you
Kavaalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no
Vyrosatwork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something a Trotskiite would suggest!
James_Westen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyo, just finished reading that actually! Great "book"
magyarszereto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George, is that you!?
ShiraCheshire ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 10:55:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid's stuff is usually very gentle and kind, with every character getting a happy little ending. The spider dying at the end of Charlotte's Web is unusually dark by itself, and they paint that to be as happy as possible. But kids aren't oblivious to all the terrible stuff that goes on the in world. Kids know the stories are going easy on them because they're kids.
I think this is why a lot of kids think up morbid alternate endings to stories. When I was a kid I had to take a test where you're told some of a story, then have to think up the ending. The one I got was about a lying rat and a dolphin carrying him to shore. The dolphin discovers that the rat has been lying. I knew the story probably ended in something to teach the rat a valuable lesson about lying, but the ending I came up with was with the rat being thrown into the ocean and drowning.
It's not that I disliked the rat that much, it's that I was tired of predictable fluff. I wanted something serious to happen, something new. I think a lot of kids want that from the stories they read or watch.
Randomd0g ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:42:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Naw son that's what happens if Wilbur ain't saved by Jesus"
nomanhasblindedme ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Four legs good, two legs bad.
E: goofed up the order
theDerigable13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when I colored a picture of a clown, all black in kindergarten...I was in a rush to go to recess but my teacher thought I was troubled and had me see a counselor & called my parents.
nullpassword ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That comes closer to reality. Pigs are can be dangerous. And they will eat people.
Bekenel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, fucking anything might have happened.
Nathan16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you read Animal Farm a little young then
SpellingIsAhful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, when I was a kid my parents were called because the end of my short story was, "and then everyone jumped from the gut to kill themselves."
I wasn't depressed or anything, I just didn't want to write the story any more, and that seemed Ike an effective way to end the story.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:03:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You /u/SpellingIsAhful had the makings of a fucking
awfulamazing DM. "I'm bored of this campaign. Rocks fall, everyone dies. Reroll new characters."SpellingIsAhful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much how it went. I didn't see any more character development or plot line occurring, so everything must go.
b2k1343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice 10/10
Brassens71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have written "bacon".
GoldLeaderLiam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoilers?
LuxurySobriquet ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:08:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically he is already pork...
Kobrag90 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:24:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/extremesashimi
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OurSuiGeneris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using subreddit sash as H tags?
AtochaCastaway ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:05:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol I am become pork, destroyer of arteries
idreamofdinos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:07:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as I was shoving a rasher of bacon in my mouth. I'm impressed by the timing.
AeroMonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlotte isn't the pig? I've never watched/read it but the front of the dvd box has a pig on it so I feel stupid now.
Galle_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:53:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlotte is a spider. The pig is named Wilbur.
Gveric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this man a gold.
jmgs000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol eerily true
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Was the question looking for a different sort of answer?
RINGER4567 ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 08:42:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"pieces of evidence"? do they even know what evidence is in 3rd? lol
Louananut ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:33:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're eight, not stupid
AnalFisherman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They might be both.
iamthinking2202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought we're all at least one of them
RINGER4567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i didnt finish 3d grade so i cant be blamed
nmotsch789 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:02:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they don't. That's the point of assignments like that-to teach them the concept.
RINGER4567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh yea
Nettius2 ยท 7129 points ยท Posted at 02:20:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elementary school kid saw the answer key. He swore he came up with, "Answers may vary," all on his own.
Chidori001 ยท 1927 points ยท Posted at 09:47:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats sad is whe had to grade a first semester chemistry test once at university that was made for the medical students (I dont remember if the medical students were at first semester too .. they just took the test together with the first semester chemistry students but had an alternative version anyway).
Thing is the grading sheet with the right answers was leaked beforehand ... one student wrote the correct answer down and then wrote "one point for every correct formula" underneath ..... How do you finish school without walking in front of a car if you are that damn stupid.
ppkmng ยท 1207 points ยท Posted at 11:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school (classes were in Spanish) a teacher was angry about people copy-pasting online material for homework. She claimed one essay even contained a "click here if you want to know more about Tutankhamun". One one of my classmates started laughing and the teacher told him "you shouldn't be laughing, you didn't even realize your essay was in Portuguese!". I wish I was making this up...
GachiGachiFireBall ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 13:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol i once remember my friend copied off someone on a spanish quiz. Unfortunately he copied the name of the person on it aswell so the teacher was confused as to why one person had two quizes lmao.
edwfit21 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:03:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people copy the name of the people they cheat from. I hear this happens alot.
MrLonely_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cause some Spanish teachers write the name here thing in Spanish so they may not know that or they just get carried away.
beepbeepitsajeep ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 13:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How were you all not seriously penalized for plagiarizing yourselves?
waltjrimmer ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about that poster, but my high school didn't much care. You'd get low points (but not zero) and a red note on your paper, but that's it. My high school was run to just push people out.
invalidusernamelol ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:58:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's any American highschool for you. The"accelerated education" program was only for kids who wanted to drop out. It let you graduate a year early by taking toned down versions of the same classes as everyone else.
ppkmng ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:06:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was one of the first assignments with that teacher, and she set the tone right for her course. However, I don't know what the consequences were for those students.
RitzBitzN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:44:25 on March 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not, what the fuck? At my school if you plagiarized, you'd get a 0 on the assignment, and you would likely get dropped from your class or even potentially suspended.
Razorray21 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit. plagiarization used to be an academic crime. Punishable by academic death.
Send_Me_Puppies ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:47:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still was, when I was in high school
serious_sarcasm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:13:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is an unnecessary comma.
Puckfan21 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:23:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was trying to avoid plagiarizing someone.
Send_Me_Puppies ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
,
Voxel_Brony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still is where I am
mfb- ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:00:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had that as blue, underlined words in a printed text.
ShadowGrif ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:42:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a portuguese i find this hilarious, because it was probably not even portuguese from Portugal but rather from Brazil, which happens an awfull lot in our schools
Herbacio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia.
Mooeykinz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I've read all week
thepariaheffect ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:12:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It happens more than you think. I've had more students argue that clearly copy-pasted papers were original than I'd ever thought, even though most of the papers still contain hyperlinks to ads and copyright information.
PM-ME-UR-HAPPINESS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:20:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Spanish teacher was out for pretty much the whole semester during my freshman year and the sub at one point actually couldn't tell the difference between Spanish and Russian...
Arbiterhark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:43 on March 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience in high school. I took Spanish from first grade and Russian from Seventh. We had one time in Spanish class, that being you couldn't speak English. So ofc we spoke Russian or Chinese to fuck with the teacher.
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect response to go along with a dwindling faith in humanity.
rman2222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was that kid in spanish classes.
NAG3LT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:47 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience back in school, one student has just copied a Wikipedia article for his essay about water. It was a Russian language school and student's native language was Russian.
However, the essay was in Bulgarian. Which was obvious as soon as you looked past the title. It was just the word water (ะะพะดะฐ), that was identical in both languages.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ppkmng ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a difference between copying something and using it for research. You are allowed to use what you read online as long as you cite it properly.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ppkmng ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I believe it was for the students to learn something about ancient Egypt.
Rhongomyniad ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 11:55:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a classmate who was always looking for help during physics and chemistry tests. I whispered the answers of a couple of objective questions to him once. Unfortunately, he misheard them.
The teacher was very curious about how he arrived at the answer 'tomatography' where the correct conclusion was 'chromatography'.
onodriments ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 12:09:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, i had a "friend" in high school who always used to copy my answers on tests for classes that we had together. In one class we were learning about James McCarthy and, unfortunately for him, my hand writing is shit so for one of the answers he wrote something about McCarthy giving Bibles to Pepsi as a bribe or something like that. When we got our tests back and were looking over them he got all mad because he got that one wrong. When I asked him what he wrote and he showed me i cracked the fuck up. I can only imagine what its like to be a high school teacher going through all these generic answers and then to read something like that, "uh what... what the fuck... where the fuck did this kid come up with that?"
maczirarg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"friend"? Any particular story about that?
HeimrArnadalr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually himself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized "tomatography" is what you'd get if you tried to make a portmanteau of tomography and chromatography. Huh.
In any case, your classmate is a doofus who should have studied more. Carry on.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've told this story on here before, how my math teacher needed to catch a student cheating by looking on another students test/copying answers. I took the test and put down all wrong answers, obviously wrong (square root of 64 is orange kinda wrong). The other student copied everything without thinking about it. Even my name and student ID number at the top of the page.
(Yes, I took the test previously for credit, this time was to be outrageously wrong to catch a cheater.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only way my this makes sense is if that student could not read English very well at all, was retarded, or was in kindergarten. Even a half retarded ESL 1st grader would write down their own name.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:28:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think. But really, she was that dumb and lazy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like fake news to me tbh.
morbidru ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:57:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gone
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No functional adult is that stupid, maybe they don't care, but they certainly don't think this strategy will get them a good grade.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:01:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No functional adult is that stupid, maybe they don't care, but they certainly don't think this strategy will get them a good grade.
professorbooty11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who copied the name of the person he was cheating off of on his test. Two tests turned in with the same name. He got busted and never lived it down.
BIG_GAPING_CUNT ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:16:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is choosing a book for reading
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised how many people cheat their way into med school.
Chidori001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having seen med students in the lab (they have to do some basic chemistry lab work together with their chemistry test) I dont think I could be suprised anymore.
To be fair they probably did not expect having to do basic chemistry when they decided to study medicine, I know how oblivious I was when I started to study (chemistry) but still...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd agree except that you need 2.5 years of chem to apply to med school these days. General chem, organic I and II, and biochem. I used to teach for an MCAT prep company and was shocked when I learned how many people cheated their way through and some didn't even write their own applications. I'd like to think the ones that get through get crushed in the first couple years of med school though.
Concentrow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:20:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walk in front of cars almost every day... I just make sure they are parked first.
sidous15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar situation here. Was taking a forensic anthropology class for my undergrad (thought it would be an interesting GE... I was mistaken) the first test comes around and the professor sends out a study guide, a day later before I could do my own someone sends out the guide completed to the class, test is almost word for word the study guide, I am a happy guy. Next test rolls around someone else decided to be the nice guy this time and filled out the guide and sent it to the class, except this idiot didn't bother to remove the professor from the email chain... professor completely changed the test to stuff not on the guide, and didn't even send out a study guide for the last test.... some people are really smart, but really stupid at the same time
EEVVEERRYYOONNEE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In primary school I copied test answers from the girl next to me. The teacher thought it was suspicious that there were two papers with the name Amy on them.
thatjerkatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are too stupid to cheat. LOL
S1212 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooooh im kinda guilty of that. Had a statistic exam, had 48 hours to do it. Mostly statistic feel like a distant cousin language of my mother tongue, so during the 48 hours i had more than once copied in some notes i used to shape my paper, and my note taking self liked to remind me that "THERE IS POINT FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG TOO RETARD". those exact words was present more than once in my paper...
AnAcceptableName ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 08:57:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not write in this margin "Mrs I swear, I came up with it on my own"
sdrawkcabsihtetorW ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 10:35:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an English class where our teacher would give one of us the textbook to go and make copies of the test for the class. Naturally, whoever did got all the answers from the back, I don't think she really cared all that much if someone did it, she wasn't a good teacher all things considered. Anyhow on one of the test questions we were supposed to rewrite the sentence leaving out the word 'on' which was shown in the answer page as 'omit on'. It was hilarious when half the class that resorted to copying over the answers ended up adding 'omit' infront of 'on', not knowing what the word actually meant.
Webo31 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favourite one
Tg15291 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:21:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time when we were going through the answers in class and a kid in my class put up his hand really confidently and said parent/teacher to check
Xenochrist999 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 09:06:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kids name? Albert Einstein.
doovie7 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:40:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$100% true
metaphorical_badger ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good shit ๐ฏ๐
BaltonA_Rown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:18:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's meta
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha holy crap, I got in trouble for this in middle school. I wasn't very smart.
waltjrimmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in college and have gotten to talking with some of the professors. One really hates collecting homework because it can be so disheartening sometimes. He would have people, 18+, do about half of a problem and then just copy from the answer key. He's even seen them put, "Answers may vary," down as their solution/conclusion.
In primary school, that's almost understandable and you need to try to teach them not to do that. In college it's just sad.
needstacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Abraham? I remember that one, I was in that class.
Anrza ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, but drop the commas.
FeelThe_Byrne ยท 1612 points ยท Posted at 02:57:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a 3 year old what "love" was for a Valentine's Day card to his parents. His response: "Maybe love is what tornadoes need."
We call him "the professor" because he teaches us new things every day.
monitorthebook ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 12:18:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is it, best in the thread.
Chaoticfrenchfry ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 08:30:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's just adorable
freshieststart ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 09:58:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my kind of 3yo.
My kid says love is dinosaurs: it's a dinosaur day and it's morning.
Acc87 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:10:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love me Hans :3
I love it when little kids come up with phrases like this
super_aardvark ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:11:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh... is that jet called a Tornado?
ShinyHappyREM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:15:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panavia_Tornado
Mr_TubbZ ยท 1164 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In nutrition class at CC, the teacher asks "what's one of the first things you throw out of the window when you drink alcohol", this kid just mumbles: "standards".
mike5799 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 12:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was supposed to be the answer?
dippyfreshdawg ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 12:41:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bottle
BeedleTB ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:03:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the first thing is the bottle cap. Then after a while the bottle, followed quickly by another cap.
masheduppotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:38 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It better be empty.
Bunbury42 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:40:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inhibitions?
aiello_rita ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:07:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first reading of this I thought it said sandals not standards
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound wrong either..
Daniellandos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that kid fucks
EHendrix ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 15:28:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And usually regrets it.
HolyNipplesOfChrist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:14:35 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you lower your standards you get laid a lot more.
jpsky ยท 10204 points ยท Posted at 02:05:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question:
Student's answer: "Let the chicken eat the corn, and let the fox eat the chicken. Then bring the fox over."
flyingteabag ยท 3464 points ยท Posted at 02:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcdrelevant xkcd
[deleted] ยท 536 points ยท Posted at 06:34:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question is, why does the cabbage require a single spot? Is this a survival game or is it one very large cabbage?
shadowmonk ยท 664 points ยท Posted at 06:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real question is, if you have a wolf that listens to you, why the fuck would you leave it behind?
Dalek_Kahn ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 07:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it listened to you, you wouldn't have to keep it away from the sheep.
potato_war_lord ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 07:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goat
res30stupid ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:02:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken
Monkey_D_Lulu ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:24:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boat
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
porco_di_okane ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:11:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐
Leechylemonface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐
DrQuint ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cat.
tacocatisonfire ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Monkey
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:07:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Level Up
Smaug_the_Tremendous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:30:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
hydrospanner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:24 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta.
res30stupid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cabbage
Redditistheplacetobe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:04:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Know a wolfdog that eat's cabbage cuz his owners chinchilla does so. Do we gotta worry about the cabbage too ?
TheAmazingPencil ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:07:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because I gave it a bone and got impressed by how I made a collar appear out of nowhere.
DarthFrittata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:53:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the wolf listens to you, it's pretty much just a dog.
anomalous_cowherd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a dogwolf that listens to me when she feels like it.
I would trust her with my life, but I wouldn't leave her with a goat. A cabbage would be safe, but she does like carrots.
fdar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Person + either fox or goat (or wolf, I'm not sure what version we're in) takes the boat right to it's very limit. Even adding a single cabbage would be too much.
Of course, when you're taking the cabbage you have some extra room, but not enough for any of your animals.
Computermaster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MY CABBAGES!
bear_knuckle_boxing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was a pile of cabbage
opinionated_acct ยท 449 points ยท Posted at 05:47:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Lannister
PotentBeverage ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:01:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill the wolf
Rig0rMort1s ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:51:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KING OF THE NORFFF
MrWiggleIt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you would be so kind as to hold the door.
SirVer51 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:38:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamit I thought we were done with this
MrWiggleIt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:27:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The man is a hero. I shall never be done honoring him.
DoctorPrower ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 05:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for the wolf
IvyGold ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 06:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looked so happy to go on a boat ride!
Sabrielle24 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:20:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then he looks like he's running away to cry.
Khovwolf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should! They promised me food then left me!
shellwe ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 06:51:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More relevant Dilbert.
http://dilbert.com/strip/2003-11-27
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
shellwe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that guy is management material!
insanelyintuitive ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:37:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave the cabbage. It's only a cabbage.
HBStone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:14 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the goat over, then go back. Take the wolf over, drop it off, take the goat back to the original side. Take the cabbage and drop it off over with the wolf. Then go back and get the goat.
70astralaxe ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
L43mX ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant xkcd
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:46:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant kxdc
Jirb30 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:14:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant AC/DC
majorgloryalert ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant ADHD
Silent-G ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:51:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant AT&T
Dawidko1200 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:08:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant AT-AT
NotEnoughFire ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:32:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck at&t lmao
kaosknight25 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant ABCD
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:06:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant ATGC
Penple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant PTSD
OspreyerpsO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because wolves are awesome
foxic95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Revolver Ocelot
DrCorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA. Right. Goats are fine my ass.
source: am goat farmer
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask you one thing?
Why are you people so obsessed with XKCD?
Cloak_and_Dagger42 ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 06:12:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's a good comic that's always got a relevant page.
dewiniaid ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 07:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except there's no relevant XKCD about how there's a relevant XKCD for everything. (Though there are some decent candidates.)
I got to meet Randall Munroe once and got to ask him about this. His response was along the lines of "That would be too meta even for me."
BennettF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:09:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me incredibly happy to learn that he's aware of the phenomenon and has considered it to that extent.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:33:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's relevant.
SirVer51 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:41:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno why you're getting downvoted for asking a question. In any case, it's because it's funny when you get it, which is rare, and the rest of the time you learn something new by trying to understand it.
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, thanks for the clarification.
Its just that it kinda "buggs" me, I mean that in the lightest sense of the word, when I see "relevant XKCD".
Dunno why.
Thanks again
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He posted a link. How obsessed exactly does that make him?
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't misunderstand me.
What I mean is there is always at least 1 dude, in almost every other thread that links to XKCD.
I dunno, do those people know every comic made by XKCD or what?
Just asking. Jeezus people.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:05:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't know every comic, it's just a popular comic so there's a lot of people that remember a few each, and the nature of the comic as well as the number of strips makes them relevant relatively often.
Additionally, xkcds are well tagged and easy to search for: Googling "cabbage goat site:xkcd.com" immediately results in the correct strip so remembering a comic immediately enables one to post it, most of the time. They aren't linked that often either, that's just confirmation bias.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:50:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... guess?
Darth_Corleone ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 13:28:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sick of them. Most are just another opportunity for the author to insist that he is very intelligent.
Edit - silent downvotes... the hallmark of righteousness.
RedditSkippy ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 02:46:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does one do that?
zixx ยท 738 points ยท Posted at 02:55:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bring the chicken across and come back.
take the foz across and bring the chicken back.
take the corn across, come back.
take the chicken across.
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 06:08:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh I can do that faster.
Bring the chicken with him and then go back
then put the fox and corn on the boat and push the boat. It will get to the other side eventually.
BrowsOfSteel ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 06:35:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmโฆ
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 06:38:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant like less steps ;)
[deleted] ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 11:32:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the programmer
elmo85 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:48:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and then when they arrive the feast begins...
Hobocannibal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a nice answer until i realised that the mans presence is the only thing preventing the objects from destroying one another.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that corn can take your ear off
CommunistDouglas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fewer steps*
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks you.
Raiku66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now the man is stranded
re_dditt_er ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 08:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if the cabbage and the fox and corn are left together, the corn will eat the fox...
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:55:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more afraid what happened to the chicken at this point and what the cabbage did to it.
re_dditt_er ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:46:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oops typo I meanit was the asianseternally-curious ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:47:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa that was actually pretty cool.
MKSLAYER97 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:43:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the kind of guy that goes over mountains in Skyrim instead of taking the road, aren't you?
Spawn- ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:11:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People actually use the roads?
MKSLAYER97 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course, how else are you going to run into everyone's best friend,
DaveMa'iq the LiarSHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:53:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in Skellige the other day and there was a mountain right in the middle of it. I had to get to the otherside.
I aiiiint going around, I can tell you that, no sir, no mister. Not me.
Funny thing actually. I climbed it without Roach (obviously) and then I made my descent with Roach. Guess which took longer. The descend of all things.
pitaenigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to jump. Roach doesn't take falling damage, so you can jump with him without worrying.
Also, when climbing mountains, the second you start to slide, if you do it right, you can roll up the hill. Then, even if you start to slide you don't lose any ground.
SHOW_MeUR_NAKED_BODY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... about that.
I did jump... ** a lot**. I got stuck more often than not.
Well at the end of it, it made me so pissed that I went and isabled fall damage, climbed the mountain... again. And then jumped with Geralt all the way down. It felt great!
Milo359 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
But seriously, there's sometimes people posing as random travelers on the roads that then reveal themselves as members of the Yoga Clan who want to murder the hero. The hero is you. Cue a fight.
And for whatever reason, in addition to their sickle that they used as a weapon and some rupees, they drop, out of all things, bananas.
Himiko_the_sun_queen ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How will it get back though
Core_i9 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:25:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swim
PM_ME_YOUR_CAT_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:23:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure the joke is that he doesnt intend to go with them
seedanrun ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:19:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooooor....
Take chicken across. Take bag of grain across-- dump out grain and put chicken in bag so can't eat grain. Take fox across -- let chicken out and put grain back in bag.
Babeuf58 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thatonelurker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:48:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RS?
double-o-awesome ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:36:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah shit I didn't realize you could bring animals back too. good to know I was bested by a grammar school riddle.
arnedh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:04:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ... Foz?
everythingsleeps ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:15:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he meant the fonz
zixx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:11:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eyyy
embracing_insanity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:38 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's amazing how happily satisfying it made me feel to figure this out.
I think it's because in real life, I find myself in situations way less complicated, yet my brain fails me. Like the time I got my hand 'stuck' in the car window.
While at a stop light on a rainy day, went to quickly toss some crumbs out the window. Had my left hand on the button to roll it down while my right hand reached across and through. The light turned green and I switched to close the window real quick while my hand was still out. Because it was only cracked in the first place, there was no time to pull my hand out before it got 'stuck'. I started to panic, because for the life of me I couldn't get my brain to understand I had to release or reverse the button to stop the window/roll it back down. So I sat there for a few seconds, trying in vain to pull my stuck hand back in while continuing to push down on the button closing the window.
There were witnesses to this epic failure of human evolution as I had passengers (scary to think I was actually driving a damn car at the time), which was probably a good thing because it was one of them yelling out through laughter to 'Let up on the button!' that finally snapped my goddamned sense back and set my hand free.
But hey, give me a goat, a fox, some corn and a row boat and I've got it covered!
maczirarg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd leave the chicken with the corn. It's not like it's going to eat the whole sack.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 04:28:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tkang ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 04:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท -36 points ยท Posted at 04:30:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pinkie31459 ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can't leave the fox and the chicken alone while crossing the river
DawnOfTheTruth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:40:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put them fuckers in a cage. Sorry I immediately thought let them eat each other and bring the victor. Winner gets the boat ride.
BlueCatpaw ยท -38 points ยท Posted at 04:33:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it would he fox and grain together
eiketsujinketsu ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 04:35:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not during the first trip...
Scotty114 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bringing the corn over means the chicken and fox would be left alone, and the fox would eat the chicken.
ChemicalCalypso ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:38:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the fox, he boot too big for he got damn feet.
mbay16 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:48:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/boottoobig
Astilaroth ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 05:38:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're being downvoted for asking a genuine question, that's sad. You seem to be confused about both shore sides though. The fox/chicken and chicken/corn can never be left alone. Not on the shore they are leaving from, but neither on the shore they are heading towards.
Does that make more sense to you?
fafafefefofo0 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:41:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strange that people are being downvoted for asking questions? You must be new to Reddit.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fafafefefofo0 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's wrong. Does it make it a low quality reply that needs to lose visibility?
chasechippy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never said it was strange, just sad.
Quetzal42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been downvoted for liking particular video games before and daring to say that I liked the game.
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't post much in the major frontage subs. I find the smaller ones to be much more friendly and adhering to Reddiquette more.
KristoffersonFox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:59:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what he's doing? I genuinely can't tell what he's asking lol
Doctor-Amazing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as he leaves the fox and chicken alone, the fox will eat the chicken.
tidalslimshady ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:32:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You willhjave left the chcken and fox together
RexDraco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:58:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fox would eat the chicken, lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because the fox would eat the chicken
Fazer2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You really should work on your reading comprehension.
tardis_what ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fox will eat the chicken while he brings the corn across the river.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did I get here?
bebopblues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he takes the corn with him and row across the river, like you said. But where are the fox and chicken during that time? They are on the shore without the man. That means nothing is stopping the fox from eating the chicken. That's why he can't take the corn first. He must take the chicken first, leaving the fox with the corn, which the fox won't eat. The trick is he can take the chicken back on the boat after bringing it across the river to avoid it being alone with the fox or corn.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Build a bigger boat.
Hobocannibal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/jKq8SnwsN9A?t=42
zixx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I said. Chicken first.
turbocrat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are on opposite shores
retief1 ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 04:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is literally one valid step at every point that doesn't result in a loop or something getting eaten.
Step one: all on near side
If you cross alone, take the fox, or take the corn, something will get eaten. Therefore, you have to bring the chicken over.
Step two: farmer and chicken far, fox and corn near
You can cross with or without the chicken. Bringing the chicken brings us back to step one, so cross alone.
Step three: chicken far, fox, corn, and farmer near
Crossing alone brings us back to step 2, so bring something along. The fox and the corn are functionally equivalent (each can't coexist with the chicken, but can coexist with the other), so it doesn't matter which one you bring. For the sake of argument, say you brought the corn.
Step four: chicken, corn, and farmer far, fox near
If you cross alone, the corn will get eaten. If you cross with the corn, you are back to step three. Therefore, you have to cross with the chicken. This seems backwards, so people ignore it and get stuck. However, it is literally the only valid option at this point. If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains has to be true.
Step five: corn far, chicken, fox, and farmer near
If you cross alone, the chicken will get eaten. If you take the chicken, you go back to step four. Therefore, you have to take the fox.
Step six: corn, fox, and farmer far, chicken near
If you cross with the fox, you go back to step five. If you cross with the corn, you go back to an equivalent of step five (remember, the corn and the fox are basically the same). Therefore, you have to go back alone.
Step seven: corn and fox far, farmer and chicken near
If you cross alone, you go back to step six. Therefore, you have to cross with the chicken, which solves the problem.
Quadruplem ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 06:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you document workflows for a living? That was fabulous.
retief1 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 08:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It turns out that writing a bunch of math proofs in college comes in handy occasionally.
Bojodude ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, you gotta be more mathy. I don't consider it a proof unless you throw some sets in there, involve some graph theory, and throw in the words "trivially" and "without loss of generality". FTFY:
Assumptions:
(1) A chicken may never be left with corn, and vice versa. Likewise, a fox may never be left with a chicken.
(2) A farmer may only take at most one object with him while transiting the river.
Let S be the set of objects consisting of a sack of corn, a fox, and a chicken. Let C, F, and H be elements of A such that C =
foxcorn, F = fox, H = chicken. We will show that there is only one set of moves for each decision point such that a graph representing successful decisions is acyclic, that is a tree.We begin by looking at C and H. By (1) we see that that C and H may never be on the same bank together. Likewise H and F may not coexist, so we trivially take C.
The farmer may now either return with H, or return by himself. Since returning with H produces a cycle, the farmer returns by himself.
Now we examine C and F. Since neither C nor F can exist with H on the same bank, we can pick either one. Without loss of generality we shall pick F.
The farmer now has H and F on the same side of the bank. By (1) this is not valid, so either H or F must be sent to the other side. Since F will produce a cycle, we select H.
Now we must pick between C and H. Since picking H will produce a cycle, we must select C.
Lastly, we travel back empty handed and bring H over. Now all elements of S are on the correct bank.
Edit: a word
retief1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, I wanted to use WLOG when I could bring over either the fox or the corn.
Milo359 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 foxes and no corn?
Bojodude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:07:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops
paralog ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if anybody reading this does document workflows for a living, PM me because I'm trying to figure some of that shit out
Bustamente ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the idea is that people get hooked up on the "have to cross a river part," and forget that you can take something back.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:45:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I got to considering step 4 and went "no, bringing the chicken back seems dumb" and then was stumped. Now I feel dumb.
Wonderbreadxx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like towers of Hanoi with animals lol
BonkeyKongCountry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never made that connection, but yeah, it is like that.
Scoriae ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:53:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have the fox swim across while you take the corn across. Then go back for the chicken.
awesomeificationist ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:59:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
take the chicken across, leave it within sight of the other bank, come back for the corn, and hope you row faster than the fox swims
treskatay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:21:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knock the fox and chicken unconscious, bring all three.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why did the chicken cross the river? :)
ilivetofly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed the boat could not physically carry them all.
treskatay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
knock the boat unconscious
Pm_me_cool_art ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:48:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple version: ditch the fox. Why the fuck would a farmer have a fox?
Kytsuine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, foxes are fabulous, thank you very much. If we're ditching anything, chickens are dirty creatures.
Mourgraine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned the solution to this from Runescape
fuckingquintuplets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains has to be true."
That's gold right there.
Sooolow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eat the chicken, eat the corn, take the Fox across
Problem solved and now ur not hungry either
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're correct, but you way over explained things.
Take the chicken across; go back, grab the grain; take that across; grab the chicken; leave the grain and go back with the chicken; grab the fox; leave the chicken; take the fox across; go back; grab the chicken; cross with the chicken.
BlueCatpaw ยท -38 points ยท Posted at 04:38:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
simple, fox first. grain second as fox does not feed on grain, chicken last. everyone makes this too complicated.overthink much is the test other than thinking skills outside the box.
retief1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you take the fox first, the chicken eats the grain while you are on the other side of the river. You can't take the grain first for the same reason. The only option is chicken first.
Dilong-paradoxus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:41:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you take the fox first the chicken will be left alone with the corn during your first trip, and the corn will be eaten.
Gypsy11pCe11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:41:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't because you have left the chicken and corn together when bringing the fox across.
CoroNeko_Donutslove ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But wouldn't the chicken be left with the grain if u take the Fox first?
pantheismnow ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_hanoi
See this for a similar but more complex version
-manabreak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually pretty cool that you can have any number of objects you have to move and it still works out.
skinasadress ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:58:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At start: man, chicken, corn, fox on left
Man and chicken go right Man goes left Man and fox go right Man and chicken go left Man and corn go right Man goes left Man and chicken go right
End: man, chicken,corn,fox on left
BarryMacochner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kill everything and forage for stuff for burritos.
changhwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the fox or the corn to the other side.
Now take the one you didn't take past time over (fox or corn).
Now take the chicken.
Noselessmonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put fox and grain in boat and set downstream. Live happily with chicken friend.
redditorofdoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively:
Take the chicken across and come back
Take the corn across and bring the chicken back
Take the fox across and come back
Take the chicken across
sneemercc ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:39:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runescape prepared me for this question as a wee lad.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:57:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rdog065 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if this counts but couldn't you put the chicken in the boat with you, then take and oar and cinch the bag of corns opening around where it tapers and becomes larger, have the fox float along with the bag by holding it. Use other oar to row, have second oar pulling bag and fox. If you only have one oar then that doesn't work though.
squornshellous_zeta ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could also juggle them
fishfryfridays ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:54:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The rules only state that all three have to make it to the other side. The rules don't say that any of the items have to be usable after they reach the other side. The chicken is the lynchpin. Bring the chicken over, and then go back for either the fox or corn. Doesn't matter if the chicken or the corn get eaten on the other side.
Smgth ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave the fox, what the fuck are you doing with a fox it's a dangerous wild animal, what are you, nuts?!
1BoredUser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill the fox and make a hat. Where the hat while you bring the chicken and corn over one at a time.
bizzyj93 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:54:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runescape taught me this one
bass_the_fisherman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:36:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thing that came to mind. Recruitment Drive
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing I've done the Recruitment Drive quest.
Tabaskosovs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:26:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seem to remember this puzzle as a part of a Runescape quest.
Ice_Cold_Water ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man get in boat and take korn akross river first but fox die from malnourish and bird drown by swimming after man. man get to other side to find korn is aktually rok. is life in latvia
cisfootball4 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:48:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken --> Empty. <-- Fox. --> Chicken. <-- Corn. --> Empty. <-- Chicken. -->
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the chicken, then the feed, take the chicken back and get the fox an then get the chicken again. Right?
CometzFly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedpoptropica
RSDevotion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh Recruitment Drive.. what a lovely quest
scatrinomee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runescape taught me this one. Take the chicken across come back...take the corn across bring the chicken back...take the fox down come back...finally take the chicken across.
Sleepy_Chipmunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that.
I think I wrote that I'd just make the fox swim, seeing as how I'm pretty sure they know how to do that
iterator5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:42:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hey that's my homework right now in my artificial intelligence course :)
Rph23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an interesting class? Sounds cool
iterator5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yup, its a pretty typical course in a CS program. overview of classical game playing AI (think chess games) and then some modern AI techniques (probabilistic models, neural networks, deep learning)
booble_dooble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cool. i think what helps prior to getting started is making a flow diagram as below to see what is most connected and what is a one way street (for much more complex problems)
fox >> chicken >> corn
iterator5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, ironically I don't technically need to solve it myself. Rather the assignment is to write a program that defines the potential states of the problem and can search through them to find all possible solutions to it.
booble_dooble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is why you should always question whether or not you can get an analytical solution or approximation with simpler models. AI and the tools surrounding it add too many variables...
KingHazzana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/2007scape
Tsorovar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://gunshowcomic.com/803
vud911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct answer is punch the chicken and the fox then put the fox and chicken into the sack of corn.
Mockturtle22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the kids answer because to be quite honest I don't understand I don't know what the answer to this question is
indun ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:38:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you're serious so what the hell -
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that problem better when it is a lion a lamb and a lettuce. It's more alliterative.
EmAnderdaughter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real question here is what did the fox say?
sdrawkcabsihtetorW ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your memes are stale and so are you.
DiamondTiaraIsBest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fox says yip yip
Dreamwalnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the corn in the boat and had the chicken swim across chasing the corn and the fox swimming after the chicken. I drew it up and everything. 0 points
TheKid_BigE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't this on The Simpsons a few weeks ago?
SniperDrago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I saw that I said the exact same thing.
serialmom666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Simpsons fan.
willkydd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's wiser than it seems. Sometimes you've just got to let go to get where you want to get.
Vehicular_Zombicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid's gonna go places someday. He'll go without corn or chickens, but he'll go places none the less
-PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the answer as simple as " bring the chicken over first, come back and get the fox and the corn and bring them second?
Ghozt25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No because let's say you bring the fox second, then the fox will eat the chicken while you're getting the corn.
-PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I didn't read the only bring one tiny part.
Which makes me wonder why I didn't just assume you could bring all three things in the first place
Spenceriscomin4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what is the answer?
BITCRUSHERRRR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runescape quest
Ramitheh3ro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what would be the answer?
DoctorMcDizzleDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would be a great smuggler.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My years of playing RuneScape has left the answer to this riddle engraved in my brain.
EvidentlyTrue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The actual answer is take the chicken across, come back pickup the corn, take it to the other side, take the chicken back with you, then take the fox to the other side, finally come back for the chicken.
needhamdan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if she wants proselyte she is going to have to try much harder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you play runescape?
2hoodrich4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simpsons did it (couldn't find a link, but the episode is gone maggy gone)
suprized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so he takes the chicken across goes back and grabs the corn takes the corn across and grabs the chicken taking it back to the original side then takes the fox across then goes back for the chicken?
BigidyBam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was my answer too..what's the right one?
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are there more of these riddles/problems? That was fun to solve.
AuroraSkye333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait I got this.... he brings the chicken across, goes back and gets the corn, brings the corn across, leaves it on the other side and brings the chicken back with him, then leaves the chichen and takes the fox across, then finally goes back and retrieves the chicken..... yes...yes that's it
stands proud :D
all204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At university I took a class where we mapped this out as a set of boolean equations and simplified it. We then created a circuit diagram using logic gates, switches and LED and built it. It was super cool to work out the whole process from word problem through to the final circuit!
Godshiatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring chicken to other side, go back, bring corn over, bring chicken back, leave chicken and take fox, go back, bring chicken back. Done
BadXeimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soo that was my instant answer. As a 30 year old boy.
ThermalConvection ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically not wrong
Bearblasphemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that's the only solution I can come up with too. What's the answer?
payperplain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring chicken over then bring corn over and chicken back. Bring fox over and go back for the chicken.
CodyCus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember doing this in runescape.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My question is... what the fuck is this dude gonna do with a fox anyway?
breakingoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just like how this river is apparently wide enough that the chicken can peck its way through the sack in the time it takes to cross it twice, but not wide enough that the chicken or the fox won't wander off in the time it takes to cross it twice, since apparently we don't have crates for the fox or the chicken.
badooga1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonono you bring the chicken over, then go back, bring the fox over, bring the chicken back, bring the corn over, and then go back and get the chicken.
Thanks, Poptropica.
Russell_M_Jimmies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the chicken over, then go back and take the fox over. Take the chicken back, trade for corn and take the corn over. Go back and take the chicken over.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love this.
C-doc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's been a rape up there
XxsquirrelxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The solution is to invest in a cage for the chicken. Problem solved.
Scarlet-Janefox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that fox.
LustySweater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could just put the corn in boat, put the chicken in the bag, and put the fox in the boat. Bam all 3 with one trip?
ALBINOBLACKMANMLG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take the chicken over, come back, take the fox over, come back with the chicken, go back with the corn, come back, take the chicken, and go back.
flexthrustmore ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer for this as a kid was to take the chicken, come back for the corn and then leave the fox behind because what do you need a fox for anyway? the teacher marked me down, wanker that he was.
mechanicofmemes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:45:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what I thought of. What's the "correct" answer suppose to be
planet_coaster_thing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring the chicken, go back on your own, bring the fox, go back with the chicken, bring the corn, go back on your own, bring the chicken
slycooper22cs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it wouldn't work since the boat can only carry the farmer and one other item. The boat would sink.
onpointspeling ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:57:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But seriously, why would you have an wolf?
tocilog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get it with the Twilight Princess Amiibo.
Adamantyte ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got this from Runescape.
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 12559 points ยท Posted at 00:42:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a fellow student once answered "in the head" to the question "where was JFK shot?" Instead the intended answer of "Dallas"
vamplosion ยท 4754 points ยท Posted at 01:55:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... he was also shot in his car.
[deleted] ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 02:53:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dlsmith93 ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 02:58:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
by the Grassy Knoll
[deleted] ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 03:13:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dunaja ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 03:22:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
about two thirds of the way down a spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy.
MasterFrost01 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 03:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an uninteresting part of the universe.
joker38 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it the most.
iamthinking2202 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 10:23:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares? It's going to be demolished for a hyperspace bypass. No use getting all uptight about it now, the plans have been up on Alpha Centauri for 50 years.
Then again, it lies in the ZZ Plural 9 sector (I think), and travelling around there is weird, sometimes things pop in and out of existence with hyperspace travel through there. Eesh. Don't forget your towel
Deathbycardboard ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna get high?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:40:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South Park and Hitchhiker's Guide? This is fucking awesome.
Deathbycardboard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're awesome :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:) you made my day...
CinderGazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Mostly harmless part of the universe
mr_spod ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:15:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next to his wife
thrustingbanana ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:14:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a Lincoln
tacocatisonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
segasaturns ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOWN BY THE BAY
Fred6567 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:49:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHERE THE WATERMELONS GROW
TransitRanger_327 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BACK TO MY HOME
Random-Rambling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I DARE NOT GO
hitlerosexual ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SITTING ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY
AintGotNoTimeFoThis ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:53:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. This is me, Alexa.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:01:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By Ted Cruz's dad
anonny2144 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:31:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conspiracy
mr_spod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:15:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next to his wife
oniony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a fox.
joshi38 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:29:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is the start to a Dr Suess book.
jvjanisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the scene of the crime.
Joshygin ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:56:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lincoln was shot in Fords theatre and Kennedy was shot in a Ford Lincoln.
Reagan was shot in Washington and Washington was shot with a ray gun.
JustZisGuy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:19:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jefferson was a true man
Truman was a jeffer, son!
anonny2144 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:32:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would the Kennedy family be called if they were black?
Natrollean_Bonerpart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:29:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Randy Marsh would call them "people who annoy you."
BarryMacochner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
slaves.
ct7075 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:33:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or in broad daylight.
be_an_adult ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:02:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we're asking temporally it was sometime in the past millennium
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:01:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was also shot in America...
Jake0024 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:10:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Earth
JustZisGuy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:18:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it really his car though?
Luno70 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I presume the car was the property of the state, so your and every other Americans car,
tacocatisonfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean that I can just go to DC and drive it?
BarryMacochner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sign me up. can we put a system in this thing?
ActuallyIsJadeOwen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:37:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a bump on a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea
spitdragon2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... he was also shot in his suite.
why_jen_why ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a parade.
pearthon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:15:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Next to Jackie"
"On home soil"
"Where he deserved it" (i don't actually think this)
vamplosion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanted to upvote but you lacked the conviction in your last point
max225 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Answers may vary
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he was also shot on planet earth
Mkenz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in the throat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't really die.
yurieu ยท 1055 points ยท Posted at 02:24:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this one in particular
canyou can get away with.isitmeyou-relooking4 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 07:18:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lee Harvey Oswald probably thought the same thing.
yurieu ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took reddit 5 hours, but here's the comment I been waiting for.
isitmeyou-relooking4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came as fast as I could.
yurieu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:16:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clean yourself up. There's kids in this site.
pippinto ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 05:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's a really ambiguous question. "In what city was JFK shot?" works better.
richardsim7 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:40:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Headsville
OldHippie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:47:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? The CIA did!
FireFerretDann ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he didn't.
dood98998 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:39:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well JFK didn't.
Stateswitness1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as Ted Cruz's dad helps.
MacDerfus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That depends on who you ask
SweetJesusBabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:07 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Lee Harvey Oswald didn't
HaniiPuppy ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 03:32:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What state was John F Kennedy in when he was assassinated?"
"He was in a terrible state, he died!"
brad-corp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:41:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fatal.
Revolver_Camelot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The solid state
JackDarrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad!
Sophisticated_Murder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:54:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kilimanjaro
dogsarefun ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:58:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the head in the backseat of his limo in Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas, USA, Planet Earth, Milky Way galaxy.
raaldiin ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed North America and Western Hemisphere
brad-corp ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:42:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And 'the local group'
elpajaroquemamais ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:11:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the Virgo supercluster
MustaphaTR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:15:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also Solar System.
Red_Dawn_2012 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:31:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir!
TheHealadin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like reading also but suppositories?
magnora7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in the presidency.
Is a social hierarchy position a location?
Euchre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And neck.
CpnStumpy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:10:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a car
CpnStumpy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a parade
CpnStumpy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:10:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In reality
hydrospanner ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assume a spherical head in a frictionless reality.
The_Interregnum ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:20:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a vacuum.
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/DUMq6imrMmI
warrenjrose ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:41:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate these kind of questions. If you want the city, ask for it. Otherwise don't dock for correct answers.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:40:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In the back of the head" was the answer in my Cub Scout Den.
thegreattober ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:54:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that was Lincoln
PM-ME-SEXY-CHEESE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grassy knoll bud
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grassy Knoll Bud, the latest in medical marijuana brands. Stops headaches instantly.
Too soon?
drkrelic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try, JFK shot first.
ElMachoGrande ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:01:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did a similar thing.
Question: "Where was the peace treaty of WW1 signed?"
I had a total brainfart and couldn't remember Versailles, but I remembered that it was in a railway cart, so I answered "In a railway cart".
Technically correct, but didn't get any points.
marpocky ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:16:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"At the bottom"
door_of_doom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:07:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, what is a relatively poorly written question.
CWRUW4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how it is with a lot of these answers...I mean what did they expect? When kids have to guess what the question is actually asking you pick the most possible vague technically right answer because you don't know what else to do lol.
WMSA ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:43:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student of mine answered the question "Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America?", with "Well he couldn't swim there could he?"
Praiseholyenarc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I'm from Dallas and we had to put the road!
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Canada - just knowing it was in Dallas was good enough.
Lirdon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as a technical trainer these kinds of questions are my pet peeve. Why the fuck would you write a simplistic question like that if you want to have a specific answer?!
apdea ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I witnessed when Satan had 6666 likes :) http://imgur.com/MQxJwNU
ILike2TpunchtheFB ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:23:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Questions like this are some of the reasons i do not like the education system.
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am in Canada and it was an elective course called "Intro to American history". The teacher started the term off by handing out a short quiz to see how much every knew. Had questions like "what is the Capitol city of New York State", "how many presidents have their been", "what do the Stars and Stripes in the flag represent", and more.
ILike2TpunchtheFB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll probably never be asked those questions again.
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most likely not - but they are helpful to know if you are into trivia games as most of the games are produced for an American player and have questions geared towards them.
ILike2TpunchtheFB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True True
brad-corp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the past.
SwiftSlug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In general the first response I think is the one the kid is most interested in... assuming that was his first response (I.e he didn't second guess himself), that guy should be a doctor or something.
Totalkiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this fantastic moment on Pointless where a lady answers 'Assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas' with JR from the Dallas Soap Opera.
https://youtu.be/VvRwRuHwyTU
Chicken_cordon_bleu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On my 8th grade constitution test, I didn't know where the deceleration of independence was signed so I put "At the bottom" and I didn't get marked down for that because our teacher had a great sense of humor.
skyvex1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if they gave a full description of the scene with the street and the cars and the people as if they've been there before...
Confirmed reincarnation
merlinfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i recently received a 50-cent piece in change where the coin had been punched cleanly through right on the top of Kennedy's head
babybelly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
prime example of a bad question
ilivetofly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is just a poorly worded question. Even I would think the answer was in the head... Why not "Where was he assassinated" but even that is not great. Why not just ask the question with the answer in mind aka "what state/place"
ServalSpots ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you're thinking of JR.
Totalkiller ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:17:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/VvRwRuHwyTU
ServalSpots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ffs. This made my day.
FuckTripleH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was also shot in the back.
1st shot entered the back and exited his throat, hitting the dude in front of him, 2nd shot popped him in the medulla, 3rd shot missed (though we don't know which order those came in)
All things considered hitting a slow moving target (particularly one moving away from you linearly rather than laterally) from 81 yards with a scoped rifle isn't particularly astounding, but given the time window of the shots and the garbage round he was using, Oswald was a pretty decent shot
PandaLovingLion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:05:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except we all know he wasn't the real shooter. Everyone knows JFK was the shooter on the grassy knoll so he could fix time and get the recognition in history he deserved, because if he didn't act as the second shooter in his own assassination then the mob would take over the country and allow Russia to win the space race and put nukes near the mainland
Let's see who gets the reference
trapdoorogre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All because Dave wanted some curry.
PandaLovingLion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And even when they replenish their supplies Rimmer tricks them into jettisoning it from the ship
CyberneticPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did as well as 3 master riflemen who weren't under pressure when they did ballistics tests on the rifle, so I'd credit him with more than being "pretty decent."
WhiteNinja3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... next to his wife
cleverseneca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for a second I thought he meant the bathroom...
DigiDukeMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's honestly just a poorly phrased question
teh_maxh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In the head, which then went back and to the left."
mynameisalso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/4XM5hbS7GlU
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow, back at my last job I won a gift card in a beer pong contest.
The day after I went to buy some socks with said gift card, and I told the clerk that I had got it from my workplace.
She: Oh cool, where do you work?
Me: <town where I work>
She: oh ok.
Me: oblivious yeah it's great. have a great day!
leaves
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it got lost in translation, but where I'm from you say it the same way, "Vart jobbar du?"(where do you work?) means both where(location) and where(company). However, the way you say it alters which one you mean. It's easy to get it wrong if you're not paying attention.
davidplank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
FreakAndy4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Civil War General was shot in the thick of the fray. Didn't know I had a fray.
Sjatar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Infront of his wife :^)
AustinYQM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In public"
jmgs000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao smart kid
Charlopa24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing he didn't get shot through heart because otherwise he would've gave love a bad name.
Eatmydust123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey Amy Schumer when did you get here
Charlopa24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you know. Just thought I'd stop by. Checking up on my internet people.
RemyJean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I would have said the same thing! That's so ambiguous lol.
Hexidian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fellow student was asked "where did the plane that was shit down take off", soon after the Malaysian airlines stuff a few years ago. The teacher wanted a student to say Malaysia, he said "the runway".
genmischief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That child is partially correct, JFK was struck twice with rifle fire, but once was definitely through the head.
Give that child an A.
Will_Post_4_Gold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False! If we watch the video we see he falls back, and to the left; back, and to the left. There is no way the bullet in question hit him in the head. The only explanation is the obvious! A second shooter! I'm sure this would have gotten bonus points.
owenglyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In what state was JFK when he was shot?" "Quite a sorry one, I'd imagine"
timeforepic_inc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he was shot in the atmosphere
Thepopcornrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sight of his loving wife
1982throwaway1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some would say it was magic.
FireLucid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On our cruise. On stage for the marriage quiz. Where did you first have sex? She said boat, I said bed. I think we got that point.
jchall3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:42 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who deer hunts, I hear this a lot.
Where did you shoot that buck? -Behind the shoulder
No, which deer stand did you shoot it out of? -Deer cant climb ladders
Dammit Joe, were you in field 9 or field 10 when you shot it? -I was in the deer stand.
Screw off, Joe.
ren_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:19 on May 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the same with one of our national heroes.
The question goes, "Where was Jose Rizal shot?"
My pal goes, "On his back"
Terrapinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could have wrote that sentence way better.
imagiantsquidofanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean "That sentence could have been written better."?
SatanMakesABlogPost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:32 on April 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes!
Terrapinz ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
imagiantsquidofanger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:33:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
Egrizzzzz ยท 10999 points ยท Posted at 00:35:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a story from my fiancee's childhood. They were testing her intelligence or awareness, and showed her an image with a tv in a room. The tv was turned on, shpwing a cartoon, and had a plant on top of it.
Q: What's on the Television?
A: A plant.
Apparently she just kept insisting in utter frustration until the administrator bothered to look at the image and not the answer sheet.
divajedi ยท 6351 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a friend's story: I don't know about public schools, but for sure at private schools you get a little quiz-type test with a teacher before they confirm you're ready for kindergarten. One of the things he had to do was identify pictures. He aced the section except for the picture of the airplane - he looked and thought hard and then burst into tears saying, "I don't know! I don't know what that is!"
Turns out his dad worked for Boeing and he was trying (and failing) to discern exactly what model plane the super-generic picture was depicting.
lookitsnichole ยท 2713 points ยท Posted at 04:15:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a similar test I was completely sure the color I was supposed to identify was dark blue, not black. I was so insistent that the tester got a few other people to look at it, and they decided that it really was a very dark blue.
cindel ยท 1212 points ยท Posted at 06:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a Maddox rant about lipstick colours where he puts up two shades of red claiming no person could possibly discern between them, but one was quite clearly pinker so I always wondered if it was a troll.
Years later I did that colour test, turns out I have "perfect colour sight" whatever the shit that means. I think it just means you can pick the subtle differences between colours better.
Edit: Yes guys I know women can see more hues than men, I have so many message saying this <3 Also tetrachromia is super rare and I really have no idea how to tell if I'd have it. If anyone can tell me that would be cool.
IAmNotAPangolin ยท 206 points ยท Posted at 07:11:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a smartphone game called I Love Hue that sounds like it would be right up your alley.
cindel ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks so much for this recommendation! I love colours so I think I would really enjoy this game :)
Edit: I just realised how stupid the statement "I love colours" sounds. Just some colours make me really happy. Some examples:
http://imgur.com/bOiASoF
http://imgur.com/0gNloBo
Bubblegum pink and rainbows just make me stupid happy. I make my own nail polish colours too.
[deleted] ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 08:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 08:16:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHHHHH SAME! I had completely forgotten about that my dad used to get them for me!
One of my earliest memories was as a kid maybe 2 or 3 years old looking up at this net shelf thingy in my room that had ribbons hanging off it in pink, purple and yellow and I remember how happy that combination of colours altogether made me. I still love those 3 colours together.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:14:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I wonder if it means anything. You know how they use that certain shade of pink in drunk tanks and things like that? I wonder if there's anything psychologically to that specific combination of colours.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:47:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:55:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I love purple but only as a friend.
cindel ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started painting us a tree in those colours, but I only have crappy paints so the purple turned out too muddy and it is unpleasant. When I fix it up I'll post a picture.
catfingers64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You two are so cute! I love this bonding over colors :) and I'd love to see the tree when it's done
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm honestly just happy and surprised that I'm not the only colour obsessed weirdo xD
I promise I'll post it, I need to go and pick up some new paints though. Mine are all dried up. Also I'm terrible at painting, it won't be any good, but I will happily show you :p
tasha4life ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm too lazy to link it but there was a recent study done where the color green was shown to decrease pain in mice. I only bring it up because if colors can affect our pain tolerance, then I have to think they can affect our moods.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've also read that looking at green creates a more peaceful mindset psychologically and helps calm stress.
GreatEscapist ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weighing in as an anonymous colour weirdo! Also aced that test. Used to get in arguments all the time as a kid about what was blue vs purple (I'm super drawn to those shades) Mom is an artist but I always mixed her paint for her, now that I live on my own I instruct her over the phone. (she can't even draw a rainbow without swapping yellow and green and it breaks my brain, one day I broke down and drew her a colour wheel to keep on the fridge lol)
That blue and black dress was clear as a bell to me. I also collected paint samples. Now I have so many makeup pallets l never use but sparkly colours in a pattern is literally my weakness. I play with my make-up all the time even though I generally don't wear any for work. My kitchen is white and rainbow themed and every sunny window in my house is full of crystals and coloured glass. I also think this is why I still love Disney movies so much though I'm nearly 30.
Amelaclya1 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:36:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That blue and black dress fucked with my head because it kept swapping back and forth. Like I would look at the pic, decide it was blue and black, close Reddit, see it again while scrolling and it would magically be white and gold, and then later swap again. And I could never willingly see the other colour, even though I saw it both ways at different times.
arachnophilia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i saw the dress immediately for what it was: blue, with a yellow cast.
this, however, leads my brain to perceive an impossible color: yellowish blue.
GreatEscapist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was saying the same thing.
I thought it was funny how everyone on facebook was complaining because the dress debate was so overblown/bullshit or w/e. I knew from the start it was just a neat little trick of the eye/brain that clearly worked differently on different people. What was interesting was the experience of standing with a friend, looking at the same thing, and seeing something completely different. That was really neat to me.
tribblemethis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm one of those weirdos that saw it as light blue and gold...
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the right background, that's reasonable though.
hobbycollector ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:51:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think people have kids? It's to keep watching Disney movies.
ouroboros1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I had them so I could keep dressing up on Halloween. But I see your point.
GreatEscapist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know! It sucks because I kinda hate kids, enough that I don't even generally enjoy seeing the movies in theatres because the kids are really talkative...
(to clarify, I'm glad the children are happy, I want them to be, but I don't enjoy listening to them be happy)
eat_all_the_foods ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, can I see a picture of your kitchen? I'm trying to picture it in my head.
GreatEscapist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha i thought of going into better detail there since I really oversold how nice it must look. At work so no photo, but it's really not worth it.
A full kitchen reno has been at the bottom of the To-do since we moved in. Itโs just plain white cupboards, walls and tiles with terrible dusty rose countertops. All of our appliances are black/nickle and we have some stone and wood items in there as well. Overall, a horrible themeless mishmash. But since it was mostly colourless I decided to start filling the room with smallish things that are rainbow. Fridge magnets, art on the walls (an antique rainbow foil painting, a photo collection of sunsets etc). And a tall plastic organizer with rainbow drawers and a metal frame is what made the room finally look like it had a theme. Bonus, it even makes my blue recycling bin look nice.
At a glance itโs a lot of white with pops of (all)colour all over. I kind of love it though itโs really nothing special. And more accurately, right now at a glance itโs piles of dishes and other things because we in my house are horrible slovenly folk.
eat_all_the_foods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still looks beautiful in my head! Lol I stick with googling rainbow kitchens (there are interesting looking ones)
GreatEscapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet! I'll have to google too.
I wonder if there's a community for colour enthusiasts like us (separate from like art groups and stuff). Seeing other people that collected paint samples etc. has actually been really amusing to me.
TheNinjaNarwhal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:04:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love colors too! I don't like 1 or 2 but if they're all together or along with others or on things that fit I love even those. I have that synesthesia thing with colors though so maybe that's why?
Dason37 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In today's world there's about 37372584827 things you could love that would be weirder or "worse". enjoy your colors, it sounds awesome, especially the wool part.
Amelaclya1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:40:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I was also fascinated by colours. I had one of those giant boxes of crayola with like 96 colours and I would just fill up sheets of paper with "test spots", and also organize the box according to colour.
Then as an adult, I had tons of different colors of nail polish, most of which I didn't even wear, but I had them all lined up like the rainbow and really enjoyed looking at them. Sadly I gave that collection away when I moved :(
ThePirateBee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know just what you mean! The two things I consistently impulse buy are makeup and yarn. It feels like the closest I can come to collecting colors, and that makes me happy.
calonolac ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also check out Blendoku, a fun game about sorting colors into gradients.
cindel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:43:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you I will definitely check that out. I am enjoying I Love Hue.
BananaNutJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My partner plays this game every day and has for the last year or more (I'm not a color geek like a lot of folks here, but my partner TOTALLY is).
Misse-Liten ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:01:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it time consuming or difficult making your own nail polishes? Is it expensive?
I've never thought of doing it before, but it really sounds fun!
cindel ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:14:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not prohibitively expensive, I think my starter kit cost about $150 and that's everything you need really.
I badly wanted to create a line of DOTA 2 themed nail polishes, and other video games too like a colour based on Zelda's dress and stuff like that.
Unfortunately I discovered I am unable to ship nail polishes overseas as they're considered a dangerous combustible. They can be sent by sea, but you have to buy a whole pallette of space which costs thousands of dollars.
It's only time consuming coz I'm a nerd so I spend hours getting the colour exactly what I want one drop at a time. I imagine a normal person wouldn't spend that much time :p
I started doing it because I colours I bought were never quite what I wanted so I'd mix them and adjust them, but then I figured there had to be an easier way. If you're interested google "frankenpolish" it's a whole thing of DIY nailpolishes :)
Misse-Liten ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:27:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really cool idea with the video game theme! I am definitely going to look it up. Thank you! :)
sdrawkcabsihtetorW ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:46:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't ship 'em but you can send 'em by sea? I know what you mean but I still find that stament amusing.
0vinq0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might have just convinced me to finally pull the trigger on making my own polishes. I've been searching for one color for years and still haven't found it. Might just need to make it myself!
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do iiiiiit! It's so fun. Send me pics when you do!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I has to do that the other day
Were I am didn't have silver nail polish. So I had to make silver from a color called stary meteorite.
It's more of a black color.
Derhek123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:18:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I expected the images to be just a unicolor square. Would have been very funny in my opinion
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the best part of colour is what you do with it :3 (I have very silly hair)
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME-UR_UNDERBOOB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get white and color it yourself!
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is great advice. Fabric paint is easy to use and works wonderfully.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever checked out /r/malepolish? A lot of them seem to be dads whose daughters painted their nails and they liked having colour on there so they kept doing it. It's really awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a shame that guys can't just do whatever they want with nailpolish or makeup. I hope it changes soon.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:46 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just such a dumb thing to ridicule someone because of this idea that you shouldn't like colours on your nails because you're a guy? I don't know, it's never made much sense to me, I guess because I was a tomboy growing up and I always felt like the acceptance of that should go back the other way.
It did in my family, one of the boys I grew up with loved pink and butterflies and I was this rough and tumble tree climbing muddy kid. Our parents didn't think anything of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:44 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:47 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean, it's very easy for someone else to say "Who cares what people think" but it's naive to think it'd never make any waves so it's gotta be something you do in your own time.
Trudar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you, by any chance, a tetrachromat?
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:27:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems kind of doubtful I think. Didn't they only confirm one lady so far as that?
Trudar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there has been many research projects on that topic, but partial tetrachromacy is fairly common. I'd guess since it's not a defect per se, people affected wouldn't even know.
ouroboros1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How could a person get tested for that, if they think they might be one?
Trudar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:04:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, but I guess, person under test will get shown a small selection of printed color cards, and asked if any of these cards are exactly the same color/shade. I guess given enough comparisons and proper algorithm you can asses one's color resolution. Tetrachromatic person should have superior one.
Second test I can think of, and probably much quicker, would be showing single color on a sliding scale from low red to high violet. Assuming it has been printed with exactly same intensity, colours that are perceived more 'full' and 'intense' should correspond to maximums of color sensitivity of respective types of cone cells. There should be three maximums for ordinary persons, and four for tetrachromats.
Both tests could be done in normal lighting and in very dark room, to enable rods in color sensing and filter them out.
I believe I messed terminology, but someone versed in the subject, for example DTP engineer should be able to correct me or maybe propose different test altogether.
Akeche ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... the pale purple color is called rainbows?
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:09:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no, the rainbows comment is not related to the pictures :p
K8Simone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't already tried it, I think you'd like Blendoku too. You get a bunch of colors and put them in order. Sometimes it's monochromatic (white/faintest color to darkest) and sometimes you have to figure out the order of a blend/transition (purple to green or blue to red).
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave it a go, but it's weird how the hues go horizontally but don't match vertically. Thanks for the recommendation!
Omvega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just because the colors you posted are what's on my nails right now AND you mentioned you make your own... lemme share
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, is that the water swirling?! I still haven't tried that it looks so cool.
Omvega ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah! it's super fun, and even easier if you have some liquid latex to protect the rest of your finger.
SomethingWithMittens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:58 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been obsessed with witch postits (color,not size) to get for days. My work has these weird (unsticky) generi. Brand light-death-yellow colored ones that just don't do it for me because it looks like yellow passed away after depression and proceeded to rot for some time. Oh and the regular yellow ones are too yellow. They have these bright yellows, like sunflowers, but they're impossible to get outside of a color mix, which has a shitty shade of mucky blue in it =(
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:59 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish you luck in your quest.
PedroFPardo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 2 on this test. 0 means perfect so I guess 2 means 2 mistakes.
http://www.xrite.com/hue-test
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the one I did was quite similar to this, but in my memory it was a long strip of bars rather than squares, with quite a lot more colours. Similar colours though. Maybe this is similar? http://www.color-blindness.com/farnsworth-munsell-100-hue-color-vision-test/#prettyPhoto
0vinq0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, person with suspiciously similar interests to mine. My flair on /r/redditlaqueristas is "Color lover." I had a collection of over 200 polishes before I moved. Only took my most important 20 or so. I've been insistently particular on the color scheme for our new apartment in order to have the best psychological effect (bedroom furniture is all light grey with pale green and white bed linens). I think some of us just have stronger psychological relationships with colors.
And regarding your story above, here's a fun fact: women generally have a better ability to distinguish colors than men. There are of course exceptions, but from what I've read, this is believed to be due to women's roles as the gatherers in hunter gatherer societies. The ability to distinguish between "delicious berry red" and "poisonous berry red" was a trait that actually could have influenced our evolution. More reading, if you're interested.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds lovely.
igbythecat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:25:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so obsessed with this game it's started seeping in to my dreams
BananaNutJob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you color geeks need to check out Blendoku as well. :)
tsquaredwsu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just downloaded it. My OCD is forever in your debt.
NotMyThrowawayNope ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 08:09:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You finally explained it for me. I too have this. It bothered me my entire life because I work retail and someone would ask me to bring them a black bag and I'm like "you mean the dark blue one?" it was so glaringly obvious to me and I couldn't figure out if they were all messing with me. I figured it was some form of color-blindedness.
cindel ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 08:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I should have guessed it, I always used to argue with people over whether lilac was purple or blue. It seemed so obviously purple to me that I couldn't understand how people would get "blue" from that.
Then when I got older I found out about the cones in your retina that help you see red shades, and how some peoples' are better than others, particularly women are generally able to see more shades of red than men.
NotMyThrowawayNope ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:36:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why on earth would someone see lilac as blue? I don't know that I've ever heard that one.
cindel ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 08:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Talking about this colour: http://i.imgur.com/SJ4NBLo.jpg
I think there was a big swatch of that colour at my old work so people used to argue about the colour of it all the time.
Zoot-just_zoot ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 09:26:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, some people see this color as blue? Huh.
cindel ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:32:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently. It seems crazy to me too but there were people who would swear blind it was blue and thought the purple people were fucking with them.
Zyzyfer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:50:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an interesting chain. I saw an article recently that laid out the 3 types of colorblindness, and if I remember correctly one of the common ones is colors like purple being muted.
Edit: I think I got it backwards. But found this visual representation of the different types.
http://m.9gag.com/gag/avrY6zn/different-types-of-colorblindness
napoleonderdiecke ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:17:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a colour though, those are lilac flowers that do have some blueish patches in them. Tl;dr that plant wasn't colored by ms paint.
thecraudestopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? There are so many colours in that photo.
geogoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks really close to blue but purple enough to be different
meghonsolozar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:38:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Periwinkle
cindel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:40:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh of course! Of course it's periwinkle. I'm an idiot. It's one of my favourite colours too. Not as favourite as chartreuse though. Though put chartreuse, salmon and periwinkle together and I might just lie on the ground and roll in them.
arachnophilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:18:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as another color-sensitive person, gross.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pistols at dawn. Wearing alice blue.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/zYdz4 How you gonna hate? That, in raw silk or lace? Decadent.
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
barfs
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's your fave 3 colour combo?
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:03 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anything but that...
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, if you're gonna barf at mine cough up. Show us yours!
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:48 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i don't tend to like triadic three color combinations, i prefer closer to monochromatic, or opposed dyadic. but i could never really pick a favorite color or color scheme...
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything you really like?
arachnophilia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i have a thing for impossible colors, like yellows that look bluish without appearing green, usually in the context of those two colors together.
i also tend to like really punchy hues of red.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out coolors.co, it's a swatch maker that you can change the hue of something one "point" (?) at a time, and change the colour very gradually. And yeah like, if you think about it that's the same for me. Periwinkle and chartreuse are both colours that are on the cusp of being two colours at once. It's what I like about them.
TheNinjaNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's purple-y no matter how you see it. Even if it was a bit bluer it would still be purple because blue with purple is still purple.
Flaktrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colorblind (protan) here: it looks blue to me but with a little purple.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, interesting. Thanks for sharing your experience.
meghonsolozar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:37:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't see the difference between purple and blue. I didn't even know until my husband was all "did you just call that purple?! IT'S TOTALLY BLUE! What's wrong with you? Are you joking?!" He then googled some online color blindness test and made me take it. I am like blue purple color confused or something. Whatever. Close enough.
MajorasTerribleFate ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:44:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have this problem with some microwaves that have displays somewhere between blue and green. I'm picky about what I call blue, so I call the color I was seeing green to the consternation of the blue-insistent.
Example: http://031d26d.namesecurehost.com/mwd/vfd2.jpg
AlphaMeese ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would call that cyan.
MajorasTerribleFate ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:17:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, given an option other than blue or green, I say teal.
traugdor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has more green than blue, but is definitely neither.
Flaktrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you may be colorblind. That's green for me as well and I'm definitely colorblind.
MajorasTerribleFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Got a perfect score on one of those color shade sorting tests, and none of the little dot tests say I'm color blind.
ferengi_esquire ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:53:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a question of perception as well. There are language that don't distinguish between green and blue, but that doesn't mean speakers of those languages don't actually see a difference.
Two people who disagree over whether a particular hue is blue or purple could be seeing the exact same thing and just have different ideas about at what point the transition from 'blue' to 'purple' happens.
CTFDEverybody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG THIS IS ME. One year a club I was in gave out free tshirts in this color, and one day a friend goes, oh that's a nice blue shirt, where'd you get it? AND I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK. Turns out a few more people have asked me the same question and I still get shocked every time.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should put out their eyes for their insolence.
politebadgrammarguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god it's just as frustrating on the flip side. When you ask someone to hang you the black bag (that you THINK is clearly black) and then you get an argument over the color of something instead of the item itself.
CydeWeys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Disclaimer: I've taken all the color-blindness tests and I have normal color vision.)
I had the opposite problem recently. A woman was giving me directions where to go down the block that went like "And the entrance is right past that blue Jeep." I can't see a blue Jeep. She's gesticulating wildly, still nothing. Finally, I see a black Jeep, and ask her if that's what she meant, and she said yes.
When I got up close to the Jeep I realized that it was actually a very dark blue, but when she said "blue" I was expecting blue to be the dominant color, not just a slight tint. Who calls a very dark color of anything by its unqualified color name, when it actuality it looks a lot closer to black than to that color?
NotMyThrowawayNope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her defense, if she truly sees colors like me it looks more like a navy blue to her. Like it's so blatantly obvious to people with odd vision like this that we don't even think about it.
pitypitybangbang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrachromacy
NeonCookies41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-worker asked me to bring her the green tray the other day and I stopped and looked at her, super confused. We have white trays and brown trays. Apparently the white ones look green to her. I asked other co-workers and they see the trays as white, too.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 07:53:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rexel-Dervent ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:42:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I(male) remember being flummoxed by that Maddox article. How can I learn if I have "perfect color sight"?
TychaBrahe ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was one on Facebook a few days ago. There were 10 boxes with words written in them in a slightly contrasting color. Unfortunately I've forgotten where my Activities is on mobile, but I'll find you a link when I get to work.
Meanwhile, here's a game. The problem for me is that my limitations are in specific colors, as might yours be. I got 7 the first time I tried it and 14 the second, stopped the first on shades of blue and the second on green. My guess my blues cones are not as sensitive as the others.
Amelaclya1 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:50:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
29/30.
It's weird because some of the later ones I would be thinking they were all the same colour, but then magically after staring at it a few seconds, the odd one would become super obvious. Like a magic eye puzzle.
Maybe that means my eyes are near perfect, but my brain is slow at processing the color differences?
kazinsser ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:28:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I get between 25-30. After around the 20 mark it just gets really hard for me to focus on any one square when they're in the huge pattern like that. Once I actually manage to focus on the discolored one it's super obvious to me.
thecraudestopper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:30:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the grid optical illusion thing fucks with me.
hiss_hiss_meow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 29 on this as well but I really have no idea how I did that. I felt like I was guessing on a lot of them... Then it would give me a point. Weird. Go Hawk eyes. Guess that lasik is paying off after all.
BananaNutJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cones in your eyes take time to adjust. That's normal I'm pretty sure.
ceban ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:36:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo, fun. I got 25 with 2 errors on my first try.
frivoflava29 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:58:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 27 and 1 (male), my error was on the last one I got to. I used to work as a graphic designer though so I'm used to discerning shades on screens.
With music, they say you can't truly learn perfect pitch after childhood. Some people still "fake" it. I imagine this is similar, where you can get better.
sleepysloppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hello fellow graphics designer, i got 21 with 0 mistakes(mali).
mrneo240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. I got 27 but with 7 errors. Playing on my phone though so probably not the best color representation and size is a factor. It's incredible that you were able to only mis 1.
someguyfromtheuk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, I found the reddish ones slightly harder than the bluish ones though, that last pinkish one got me.
wildebeesting ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:41:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 31 with 0 errors!
rachetheavenger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hell ya ! i got the same ! what does that mean?
it says 25-30 is a hawk, what's after a hawk ?
nevermind, it said Robot. i wanted an animal though !
nightonmars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 31 with no errors on the first try. Does this mean I have super colour vision or something?
Flaktrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm colorblind but I got 27, no errors. I play a lot of video games so perhaps I'm just better at picking out things on screen?
The last one that stumped me was blue. That is pretty much what I expected.
SuicidallyHonest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how much the monitor might matter for that test. I've always been under the impression that I suck at colors. But I just got 33 with 0 errors on the first try. I'll have to have my wife take this later :)
thecraudestopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got to 22, but I have an incredibly dirty screen.
super_aardvark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:01:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I were you I'd start by typing that question into Google.
arachnophilia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
try this one: http://xritephoto.com/online-color-test-challenge
the lower the score, the better your color vision.
of course, this relies on your monitor being able to display colors well, which is why it's being used to sell monitor calibration tools. the actual farnsworth-munsell hue-acuity test is done with physical objects.
asifbaig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I got a zero and I still have trouble telling WHICH brown bag my girlfriend is talking about...
arachnophilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that may not be a problem with your color vision.
asifbaig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that is INDEED what she said. :-D
TychaBrahe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:04 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for the lateness of my reply, but I finally found the one I took on Facebook.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/lorynbrantz/only-people-with-bizarrely-good-vision-can-read-th?utm_term=.ih24wpMoRn#.wsqmL2JERQ
I still can't see the seventh one.
BoliviaAndBackAgain ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 09:14:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a man and I too have tested perfect colour vision -- do I also have additional pylons in my eyes??
FlyingWeagle ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 09:23:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. You can also never play competitive Starcraft
coulduseagoodfuck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:10:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what, really?
MajorasTerribleFate ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 10:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he starts with more pylons than everyone else, he would have an unfair advantage as Protoss.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First he must remove the pylons from his own eyes and only then can he...wait, what?
halberdierbowman ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. It was probably a joke, because in StarCraft you must construct "pylons".
coulduseagoodfuck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:58:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. I don't play it so that went over my head entirely
asifbaig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dammit Zeratul, how many pylons do we need to construct?"
"ADDITIONAL!"
FlyingWeagle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sorry that was a joke. Tetrachromacy is restricted to women as two of the genes that control the types of cones are on the x-chromosome. To have four types of cone you need two x-chromosomes and a mutation in one of the genes on the second x. Women are women because they have xx, where men have xy
Esotericism_77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hypothetically, if someone had a genetic condition that gives XXY chromosomes(I want to say Huntington but I am probably wrong) could they have tetrachromancy?
Cicute ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Klienfelter syndrome. Huntington's is a disease that basically comes from a glitch where a three-base sequence of the DNA is copied so much that it makes the protein produced toxic.
To answer your question though, yes. The x chromosome contains the gene for two types of cones and a mutation can alter the wavelength of light that either cone detects. Having two (or more) x chromosomes means that you'll get two (or more!) different forms of each cone. What's cool is that there's a process called x-inactivation which randomly turns off almost the whole chromosome, meaning that most part of the body, including the retinal cells iirc, express different chromosomes. Theoretically there could be more variation if mutations on that cone produce even more alternative ranges of wavelength detection and someone with more than 2 X chromosomes received even more alternative cones.
I may be wrong as I don't work with the visual system but I'm happy to look up sources to confirm when I get home.
Esotericism_77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. I know just enough genetics to get out of high school. Thanks for the answer.
FlyingWeagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess in theory, I'm not a geneticist. It would depend if the condition allowed expression from all three chromosomes
xereeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Klinefelter's but yes.
clicksallgifs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Source on it only being for females. Everything I've ever read about it say males can have it too but at a lower percentage
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
arachnophilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as a dude, i'm so good at distinguishing colors other people (even women) cannot that i've actually considered getting tested for chromosomal anomalies.
piratemonkeyduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:32 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please do. If it's really expensive it should be easy to get it funded by other people, through offering videos of you doing tricks with your color-eagle-eyedness or something, showing off your mutant skills. Calling yourself Mantis-shrimp-man and joining a circus as a shrimp version of a mereman could work too, I guess.
clicksallgifs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, ok then! I'd have to take a bunch of tests and stuff, but I feel like I've always been able to discern shades of colours better than most people around me. Could be because I work with colour, or because I really like to be specific when I mention a colour.
Dunno. Glad I'm not special.
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
here's the actual image:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/revlon_fraud3.gif
FWIW, he's not being a troll. the lab values he gives are exactly correct. and the colors are different -- i can see a slight difference between them, and i'm a male.
the white between them actually makes a bit easier to think you see a difference. here they are side-by-side:
http://i.imgur.com/CDeYGlu.jpg
they're clearly different, but i bet 90% of men can't tell where the line is.
dragon_morgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the fantasy series Lightbringer the magic system is based on color, and it's a plot point that one of the main characters has perfect color vision, but nobody believes him at first because he is a man and mostly only women have this ability.
SteveGuillerm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that it was a thing on the Internet (involving Maddox), and computer screens are RGB, tetrachromacy doesn't really factor in.
FeniEnt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my first job when I was in high school. I was cleaning and helping with some stuff. They were manufacturing car and bathroom refreshers there. One day someone screw up and mixed two colours of lids. Dark brown and black. I was supposed to sort them. There was a little problem though, they all looked exactly the same to me.
likejackandsally ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:03:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in the paint department at a big box home improvement store. Whenever someone wanted a color match, the department lead would call me over because I had a pretty high track record of matching by sight. We did have a color matching machine and we did use it when we were busy or someone wanted a closer match and we didn't have any colors on the pallets that were close enough (we had a lot of pallets).
But yeah. It surprises me how many people can't see mild differences in grey/blue, blue/purple, and red/pink. Also, different shades of grey. I can't tell you how many times someone would ask for help picking a color and had like 6 very different shades of grey. And absolutely no concept of color theory or matching colors
So many stories from that place. I truly loved that job and I miss it terribly.
SevenSirensSinging ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:19:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cake decorator here. If I had a dime for a customer has said, "just do it in blue" or "I want that in gold" and argued with me about bringing a swatch saying, "blue is blue. Like a dark blue." I'd be able to retire. Your blue is very unlikely to be my blue. Just bring me a damn paint swatch or ribbon or napkin so I can mix your blue and not ruin your wedding ffs. That goes triple for ivory, which can be brownish or yellowish or peachy.
I work with another girl who can't mix custom colors without major assistance. I can just hold up a swatch to the nearest stock color and see what needs to be mixed to match the example.
likejackandsally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:48:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People would come in and ask for "just an off-white". Imagine their surprise when I pulled out the 150+ color off-white chip pallet and asked them to choose.
SevenSirensSinging ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a conversation with a customer about off-white last week. Wedding theme is rustic, so I was trying to get them to go with a less intense white than our stock color, it took awhile to explain that concept to them. "But off-white is too dark." Gaaah, not if you don't want it to be.
cindel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would actually love to match paint for a job.
OverpoweredCharizard ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:49:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you should give Brandon Sanderson's 'Warbreaker' a read. It has a color based magic system, and is coincidentially his only book available for free on his website.
cindel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:54:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, that sounds pretty cool. I'm surprised my bf never recommended it he's a huge Sanderson fan.
clicksallgifs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Brent weeks lightbringer
GothWitchOfBrooklyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one i thought of right away
mweepinc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, honestly. It matches very well. Also an amazing read!
dragon_morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had to ctrl-f lightbringer in this thread because that's always what I think of when people's color distinction vision comes up
Deseao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping someone would mention Warbreaker. But I thought Finding Elysium was also free on his site?
OverpoweredCharizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard of it...
Is it set in the cosmere?
Deseao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's "Defending Elysium." It's non-cosmere. http://brandonsanderson.com/defending-elysium/
OverpoweredCharizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't thank you enough! :)
I've read every Sanderson novel and short story, (including the Alcatraz books), but I somehow missed this one.
Goodbye world. BRB in a few hours after I inhale this book.
SusonoO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a Superchromat! The Chromaria will be pleased to have you.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, what do I win?
SusonoO ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:52:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win the right to be essentially an indentured servant to your home Satrapy and to most likely die before you're 40! On the plus side, you'll be lavished with riches and be highly encouraged to reproduce!
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound like a plus side.
SusonoO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonsense. It's everything you've ever wanted. Promachos Andross Guile thanks you for your service.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I might just stay here tbh. Doesn't sound like my scene.
SusonoO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too late, you'll never be free
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, shit.
SusonoO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sorrynotsorry
ZacharyCallahan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea those superchromats
publictoiletdreams ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:51:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one? http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=fashion
Yeah, I can tell the difference too. Have you played color-picker? It's a game about subtle differences in colors.
CharsCustomerService ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:19:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. I remember when that article was first posted, the colors looked very blatantly different. Now, reading on my phone, they look nearly identical. If I interpose something other than white (like my finger) between the boxes, it's easier to pick out, but still really close.
I wonder how much of this is people being able to see the color differences and how much is the brightness, color balance, and accuracy of people's monitors. If your monitor is over-representing blue, that will increase the apparent difference in the blocks, making them easier to tell apart. A technological advantage, rather than just having amazingly sensitive eyes.
Edit: checked on my monitor at home. I can absolutely see the difference. More pronounced than on my phone.
cottonthread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The screen and image settings you use can definitely be a factor but I think age can also have an effect - so as you get older it gets slightly harder to distinguish between similar shades.
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
phone screens are notoriously bad at color. i'm looking at it on a calibrated monitor, with perfect color vision, and they're absurdly close together. but i can tell a difference.
CydeWeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude here. Using the trick of sticking my finger between the two I can just barely tell the difference, on some screens, at a certain range of brightnesses. This would be a lot easier to do using actual printed color swatches under bright pure white light, I imagine.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one yep.
I haven't played Colour Picker, there's a few games out there called that. Which one do you recommend?
publictoiletdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://gamejolt.com/games/color-picker/35110 Does this link work?
Also what score did you get? I'm curious.
cindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:40:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hrm, on my first go I flunked out pretty early, got to 32. This game is hard!
publictoiletdreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got to
4042. That's been my biggest achievement all week.cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made it to 46 on my second go but you better believe I am aiming for the leaderboard!
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hrm, it says I need the Unity Web Player but when I click the link for that it doesn't do anything :(
Edit: I installed the web player from the Unity website but it still says I need the Unity Web Player to play this game.
publictoiletdreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.kongregate.com/games/peterlauris/color-picker If you have adobe flash, this link should work.
cindel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:36:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG. http://imgur.com/a/8Qr1C
The hilarious part is that this is in Firefox and it thinks I'm using Chrome.
I'm downloading it on my phone...
publictoiletdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that sucks.
Didn't know there was a phone app, though.
Flaktrack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Firefox has been slowly migrating over to the same platform as Chrome. Probably why.
Personally I hate that it's just becoming Chrome 2.0 but that's Mozilla for you.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also isn't their CEO super anti gay marriage or something?
Flaktrack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't know how anti-gay marriage he was, but he did donate $1000 to California's Prop 8 (which banned gay marriage). Nobody is really sure why he did that, it was apparently out of character considering his own statements about inclusiveness at Mozilla, but can't argue with the facts.
dwjlien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same
weird
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The android version works perfectly.
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, just installing Flash player xD
crossedstaves ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
huh, assuming what the author says is correct that the average human eye cannot detect differences less than or equal to that value, that still suggests, by the definition of average, that 50% of people can.
I wouldn't consider being in a group with half the human race anything to write home about.
publictoiletdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I don't have anything else to be proud of.
UltimateShingo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the right one the, for lack of a better word, brighter one? It seems to get a bit more fuzzy for me, no matter how I position myself.
publictoiletdreams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:29:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pinker. Can you distinguish them if you zoom in?
divajedi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:59:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. The right one looked slightly more blue to me.
Syn7axError ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:27:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would also be true. If it's bluer, it's pinker.
UltimateShingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I see a slight difference, because the right one goes a bit more fuzzy on the edges. I always had that problem that more vibrant colors on dark background go fuzzy on the edges for me, no matter the distance. Usually the effect itself doesn't pose any advantage or disadvantage, but I guess in case of comparing two similar colors, it helps me. I really have to focus to get the idea those two could be seen as the exact same...similar to how those pictures where you can see two different motifs work. I usually get locked into one choice, but when I focus, I can make out the alternative.
I guess I need to test this more. It's a not a clear night and day difference for me and my vision is broken in all kinds of ways anyways.
publictoiletdreams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to be honest here, I have no idea what you're talking about.
UltimateShingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a picture will help.
I can clearly see the duck, but when I focus, I see the rabbit.
In the case of the colored squares, when I take the left square as standard, the right one is similar, but more fuzzy on the edges, but when I focus, I can sort of see why people see them as the same square.
Does that help?
publictoiletdreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, my brain switches between duck and rabbit every half second.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying.
PM-ME-YO-TITTAYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I don't have this ability, they both look the same to me.
publictoiletdreams ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure I don't have perfect-anything, but I can still tell the difference. And that's not just me being an arrogant whore.
cottonthread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has fairly good colour vision (in comparison to me anyway, normally 98% on those online tests) and she can only tell if you use an image editor to put the boxes next to eachother.
PM-ME-YO-TITTAYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess people are all different in some way. Which is good, it means we have more reasons to hate them.
AfterShave92 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing about Maddox's colors. Those colors were clearly different even if very similar.
I took them side by side in paint and asked a few people who at most answered "Well, maybe I don't know?" I didn't know perfect color sight was a thing though.
pmcglock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be a woman? They tend to be able to do this better. Some women in poor fishing communities have the job of sorting the quality of pearls they find by seeing the slight differences in shades of white.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I am. Wow I didn't know that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
men are more likely to be color blind.
So maybe he forgot that.
JustinWendell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if I have this... I've always been good at tracking deer and other animals just by the way grass and leaves vary in color when they've been disturbed.
Syn7axError ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but at the same time, the monitor itself is also your biggest bottleneck. The difference is subtle on my phone, but glaring on the monitor I specifically bought for its colours.
If you saw the "real" colours in person, I think the average eye would pretty easily be able to tell the difference. I think Maddox just made the mistake of picking colours that are 4 whatevers across, when the average eye can't see less than 4 across.
trireme32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Maddox rant"?
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:41 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://maddox.xmission.com/
trireme32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen a website like that since the late 90s/early 00s... from a brief scan it seems like this fella's a bit off his rocker...
OracleBay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Women also tend to be able to distinguish colors better so although many men may not be able to tell the difference, women can. I looked at the picture and the left one is more orange than the right.
Stormygeddon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:07:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone was curious about the one maddox lipstick color comparision it is here
Silver_Yuki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An easy way to tell if you have tetrachromia is if you look up at the sky during the day, if it looks purple then you have it, if it looks like sky blue then you don't. If you can't tell try looking at a picture of a blue sky and see if it looks the same or not. The purple you see (if you do) is you seeing with your fourth cone, which sees ultra Violet, which is very easy to pick up on a spring day. It is by no means harmful and can even be helpful so don't worry if you do see the sky as purple and not blue. Just remember to use sunscreen regardless.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very interesting. Definitely it looks purplish sometimes, but not every day. On a really clear day, but I wouldn't say it's ever looked proper purple purple, more periwinkle. Other days the sky is just a washed out azure colour.
It's been raining for a week here, I hope it clears up I'm interested to see.
I looked at photos of blue sky, many of them are purplish however it's hard to tell if that's just oversaturated pictures or they have filters on them to make them look nicer.
Silver_Yuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hsO_RpBT-Ik that video has it slightly. If it looks like that or more purple, and sometimes on hot summers days the grass and foliage looks red, rather than green, then that is tetrachromia. Otherwise you just have very precise colour matching. I was also tested.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:16 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hrrrrm. I really don't know. I'll have to have a look if we ever get another sunny day here.
strikt9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it possible that you are a tetrachromat?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrachromacy
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it really, super rare though? How do you know if you are?
strikt9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to this article ip to 12% of women could have the extra cones.
https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-have-found-a-woman-whose-eyes-have-a-whole-new-type-of-colour-receptor
No idea how actual testing would be done
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if they can tell just by looking in your eyes. I dunno, I'm good at picking hues but I don't feel like the world is super crazy colourful for me as though I'm seeing "extra" colours. You know, if I see shadows on a purple towel they're still purple. If that makes sense.
strikt9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt it, I dont think that you can tell if someone is colour blind by looking.
I think it's just done by testing. Adjusting percentages on a CMYK scale and figuring out where you can see a difference vs the "standard".
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I did have a bit of a discussion with my colleagues. I can see some shades of pink in the shadows of the corner of our office that they can't see, but also they're all men.
AtemAndrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it the cherry one that looks slightly pinker? I can't entirely tell the difference, but it looks pinker when I use the 'corner of your eye' trick for detecting light.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the cherry one looks pinker to me.
AtemAndrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely, though I'm not sure if I'm cheating or not. Taking advantage if cones and whatnot.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta use your cones if you got em
sneaklepete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've attained the 3rd heightening.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I get a hat?
sneaklepete ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get a couple hundred human souls and may or may not be an abomination. But yes, you get a hat.
cindel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nnnnice.
HenryCurtmantle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people have extra rods and cones. You're very lucky!
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's lucky that colour make me happy, and at least it's not wasted :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have red-green deficiency and I am very very envious of you.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry :(
Edabite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is one of your parents colorblind?
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:43 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to my knowledge. My dad has never mentioned if he is. My mum loves nailpolish and wears a lot of bright colours.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you're no mantis shrimp, buddy.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know my life.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you ARE a mantis shrimp? With sixteen color receptors, wow.
Seriously, I'm fascinated by extraordinary sight.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep I am honestly though the real miracle is how I'm able to use reddit.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:19 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, excellent eye-hand coordination for a shrimp.
LargeAmountsOfFood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tetrachromacy? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrachromacy
Edit: Silly me, I should have known someone already suggested this, sorry.
cindel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol it's ok, I might edit something into the op :)
Sombrere ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:56:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm colourblind. Maybe the tester was as well.
FuzzelFox ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:21:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people have trouble discerning dark blue from black.
TheHeadlessOne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't most black ink just really really dark blue ink anyways? Like when you break a pen and let it spill out everywhere
Sombrere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that so? Could I have an example, because I've never heard of this before.
Theon_Severasse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:34:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coat that I had always thought was black. I then left it behind on a school trip to France, and gave the description of it to a teacher who said that they would call up and see if it was still there.
He came back to me and said that because the only coat that they found was navy blue (but otherwise completely matching the description that I had given, including the place that I left it), there was nothing he could do to get it back for me...
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheVeryMask ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:22:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that frequently gets into colour arguments, here's a list of colours w/ meaningful names that includes hue, brightness, & saturation. The most thorough online colour acutiy test I've used is this one.
Edit: Forgot the http:// prefix for the link.
E2: test url to the one in my bookmarks, not from google
Crazy296 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just thought that my eyes fucked up because the colors looked different. Then I realized I have f.lux on, and then disabled it, and now i'm actually blind. Thanks /u/TheVeryMask!
camh- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:19:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That hue-test gave me pause when it told me my score was zero. The explanation then went on to say that zero is the best score. I thought I misunderstood the test at first.
TheVeryMask ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It measures degree of error, but they don't make that clear upfront.
nijpep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't keep us hanging man
TheVeryMask ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average score is an error of 22. Last time I took the test, my error score was 2, adjacent sap-green tiles in the wrong order.
MisterBinlee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I scored a 0. At least I now definitely know that i'm not colourblind.
Sabrovitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but sometimes I was just a bit lucky and 'guessed' results.
MisterBinlee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to cover up adjacent colours, because otherwise every time I moved them they'd look different at the very end of the spectrum.
Sabrovitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't really have this problem though, I think doing it on my phone screen made it harder so maybe I do deserve my 0?
I also wonder how likely tetrachromacy really is.
MisterBinlee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was on an ips panel as well, so I think it's just an optical illusion
vbnettocsharp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't see an average score. But I scored 6, is that okay?
TheVeryMask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6 is excellent. Be aware that the arrangement matters, so an error of 6 in a single clump can indicate narrow damage, while 2-3 islands that add up to 6 is a better score.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I got 2. I'm basically a colour god, then.
Akeche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graphic Designer here, stealing dis for work.
TheVeryMask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most valuable thing to me about it was introducing language that captures saturation and brightness with a learnable formula. f.x I like strong and deep colours more than dark and moderate ones. The total variations it lists get smaller as you go up is degree, so primary colours have more kinds that 5th degree colours. If you need a complete list, click through a tile of the correct hue.
Akeche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of advertising related work, it'll be nice just for when a client doesn't say anything other than "Make it more blue."
the_flippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The results on the test say that lower is better with zero being perfect, but then the best score for my age range is negative. What?
taryus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic integer overflow. It's a bug.
StaplerTwelve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy, 21; got a 0 but I think my phone screen helped. I could really see it up close.
grndesl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the few times that my getting a 0 on a test is a good thing.
anonymous93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a joke about Priest socks in there somewhere.
arachnophilia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
use this link instead: http://xritephoto.com/online-color-test-challenge
it looks like the main x-rite page dumbed down their test.
TheVeryMask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:37 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one in my laptop's bookmarks, the one I'd put up previously was just what google gave me so at a glance I'd assumed they had changed it.
withbob ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a kindergarten test and basically was like, "fuck this, there are kids here. I am going to talk to them" and just fucked around and talked to other kids so they thought I was retarded. 2 Weeks into retard kindergarten, they realized that I shouldn't be there.
ZZgold ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:17:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some kids have much sharper senses that tend to fade over time.
icebox_Lew ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like priest's socks
Ramiel01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:38:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice spot, Father Ted
Moorzilko ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 3 yo I had a leg injury and I was weeping and crying, of course, so the doctor tried to distract me from my pain. He showed me a cotton pad with iodine disinfectant and asked "Hey, what color is this?" It was kinda dark brownish-reddish-voiletish, I knew only basic colors then and I got really frustrated and cried even more: "I don't knoooooow!" The doctor was confused and said "but it's black.. isn't it?"
KeisariFLANAGAN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the worst, since most dark cool colors (hell even red) blend into purple for me. Navy? Fuck that noise it's a damn shade of purple. I was convinced there was a conspiracy against me until my optometrist told me I was just a bit color deficient.
NoPantsMcClintoch ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:21:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
lizzylizard3175 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:14:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just told a similar story in a speech I made at my brother's wedding. When my brother was getting tested for kindergarten they pointed to the color white and asked what color it was. He wouldn't answer. It was a little bit off white, not "pure" white so he didn't want to say white. The tester kept trying to help him.. "come on you know this! It's like my teeth what color are my teeth?" And my brother answered "yellow"
He also once wouldn't "sit on the red mat" because it was burgundy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's right, Dougal. You see, ordinary shops sell what look like black socks, but if you look closely, you'll see that they're very, very, very, very, very, very, very dark blue.
synthestar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This could have been because the printer or colour profile was wrong, or the image they used was compressed. Often it's worth checking an image before you print it and it's why CMYK and RGB are important to consider before you print something :)
Or it could have been the colour profile that your screen was using. Again, most people don't realise that almost every screen they use will represent colour differently unless they have been calibrated and use the same profile. Working in art has certainly taught me an awful lot in this regard!
The joys of digital to analogue and analogue to digital is always fun to experience.
maestroke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:58:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
technically, we don't have a "black" yet, everything you think is black is really just very very dark blue so you were right no matter what
ER_nesto ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do have a black! Vantablack is so black that it counts
maestroke ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
still, it technically is still an incredibly dark shade of blue. I think the only true black comes from a black hole
ER_nesto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:59:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not, it's white iirc, just very very very black white
brokenPascalcircuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look up tetrachromatism and feel better about your life. I know your pain.
PickledPokute ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, navy blue - the cheap imitation black.
screamingmorgasm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody superchromats, I bet you can see paryl as well
silverAndroid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they sure it wasn't gold?
Siphyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: Colors can get so dark that they are black yet still that color.
Dason37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter argues with my wife and I about obvious colored things being another "close" color. I think she did it once in earnest and now does it to wind us up, but I guess she could be seeing things actually differently. I mean if you see purple, it's purple, regardless of what the next guy sees.
oraldirtyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother refuses to believe that black exists on fabric. I you took a shirt and coat it in tar, she would probably assert that it is navy blue.
maniacalmustacheride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a red black
Commander_Keef ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 06:22:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom works at the zoo, so when I took one of these test they asked me to "name the animals" so I said "there's George, and Bob, and..." They told my mom I needed help, until she explained those are the animal's names.
sociapathictendences ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:48:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually so adorable.
TheInfernalVortex ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 04:12:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha that's wonderful. When I was a kid my dad worked for Grumman, so I can somewhat relate.
divajedi ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 04:36:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher was soooooo concerned, and his mom just cracked up when she heard what happened.
sidsixseven ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far my favorite comment in this whole thread. Thanks for sharing.
dangertrager ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 06:16:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a time I read the book "Go, Dog, Go" to my 2 year old. I said "A black dog. A white dog." Then, the book says "A black and white dog." So pointing at a dog with spots, I asked "And what kind of dog is this one?" She responded, "It looks like a dalmation."
CatfishBandit ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:14:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently when I was that age I saw a parrot for the first time and remarked "beautiful... flower?" and everyone was going nuts that I knew the word beautiful except the old guy with the parrot who was just like, na, its a bird.
turbocrat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:46:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha are you Bambi?
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol she's obviously a year or two ahead ><
goatofglee ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awww! That poor kid, I feel bad for him.
Photog77 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:36:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first year in college, my accounting professor used the bricks in the wall behind him as an example of things that were completely identical and interchangeable. I just couldn't understand because I had worked in a brick factory the summer before college and all the bricks were different to me. I could tell you more or less how the bricks were stacked in the kiln by looking at them. On top of that my Dad is a bricklayer, so all in all, I know more than I'd like to about bricks.
tim_mcdaniel ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 06:29:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A story that's told about me: I had an eye test when I was very young (I was too young to remember). The doctor asked me to read the bottom line of the chart, letters along the lines of EKYINMWRX or something. I said something like "Ekyinmmwurks?". He said, "What?!". I cried and said, "I don't know that word yet!".
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:27:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awwwwww poor kid... Stuck in a world of non-plane identification experts!
brandonransom ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad grew up in Western Michigan (lots of orchards), and a kid he knew insisted on knowing what KIND of apple before he would say the color. ๐
Scarl0tHarl0t ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:57:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband works in the FAA and has loved aviation all his life and I can imagine our potential kids being like that one day.
Sometimes when he feeds me something, I make him do the air traffic chatter, saying that he has to practise for when we have kids.
RealPutin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:07:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an aviation enthusiast and aerospace engineer, this is adorable and makes me very happy.
What does your husband do?
Scarl0tHarl0t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He used to be a controller but he moved over to tech ops because he didn't like the people he was working with. He maintains and repairs navigational equipment so it puts him on mountain sites and out of the office a lot more which makes him very happy.
theangryprune ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A boy I babysat got placed in a remedial kindergarten due to this:
Hello was supposed to identify what a drawing of a man's figure was missing. The figure only had one leg.
The boy said "a bellybutton" which is true but the reason he didn't say leg was that he volunteered in veteran hospitals with his mom and seeing a man with one leg did not strike him as unusual.
Still makes me angry.
birchpitch ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:15:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an issue like this. We'd been stationed in the UK when I learned money, for context.
Upon getting back to the US, I had no fucking idea what quarters or dimes or nickels were, or how much they were worth. I knew what a five pence coin was, or fifty pence, or one pound.
The school apparently nearly put me in special ed. over that, until mom brought in a small bag of UK pounds sterling and demonstrated that the issue wasn't some kind of mental deficiency (wtf), it was being unfamiliar with the currency.
JoyfulCreature ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:05:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same when I was about 1.5 or 2, except I was looking at a picture of a dog. I looked, and looked, and the doctor was apparently looking at my mom like, "She doesn't know what a dog is?"
Finally I answered: "Collie."
My favorite book at the time was a book of dog breeds.
Runninfar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend had a similar situation in second or third grade. Assigned homework was to find out how magnets worked. Really all they were looking for was "opposite charges attract", but they freaked out and figured that was too simple and got their much older brothers to help. They went to school with an answer involving a lot more electrons than the teacher expected.
giraffecause ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:56:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was an Airbus, and he's not into that shit.
RealPutin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably some fucking cartoon plane that isn't fucking proportioned right and couldn't fucking fly and gives kids unrealistic expectations about what an airplane's body looks like
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:15:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was an airplane mechanic in the Air Force. Planes would fly overhead and he would name them without looking. One day I looked at my mom and said, "How would we know if he was wrong?"
RealPutin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me.
Was driving the other day with a friend. Plane flew low over the car on final, I had to pay attention to the road and couldn't see it. Could hear the RB211s though, knew it was a 757. My friend said "bullshit", then looked, and got a gorgeous view of a FedEx 757 on final.
F-22s can be identified at low-ish altitude based off of the afterburner whine as well.
I can't quite do all of em though by sound. I'm impressed.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So. Enjoying living in Memphis, are we?
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, bitch, please! 13 years in the Western flight path in Southaven. Spare me. I can ascertain a 757 from anywhere. (sucking teeth, plainly not impressed)
RealPutin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savannah, actually!
And seriously. The 757 is super easy to identify by sound. The real trick is ascertaining the other planes coming through by ear, Savannah gets a weird mix between Gulfstream and the Air Force always changing what birds come in. Had one day watching where the sequence was C-130, G280, pair of F-5s, CRJ900, G650, G600, F-18s, A320, another C-130, F22.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. Well, you can't live in Memphis without having to deal with the Memphis Air Force, but I agree with you cause I learned how to tell them apart.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, my God, we'd have c-130's come over and wow, it was bad.
mako-jaeger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know the model. I've failed you, father."
"Get out of my house. I never want to see you again. You disgust me."
"Roy, you're being too harsh on the boy."
"Do you want a divorce, Linda! The boy dishonors me by his ignorance of the model of the plane! He makes a mockery of our family and our legacy!"
"Father, please!"
"Get out... you are no son of mine."
weoson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just think about it for a moment if he got the answer right.
This is a Boeing 777-300. A 1998 ER model to be more specific as you can see by this radius in the fuselage.
No, Timmy, that is a airplane.
wubalubadubscrub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight: "What is this a picture of?"
Creed: "That is Northern Lights, Cannabis Indica."
Dwight: sighs "No, it's Marijuana."
Epamynondas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
???
divajedi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:47:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if a kid is technically old enough for school, they might not be developmentally ready for a classroom situation. So the kindergarten teacher will do a kind of assessment of the kid's communication skills, see if they recognize numbers, letters, words, shapes, etc., find out if they can read yet, and observe fine motor skills (necessary for learning to write). They probably look for other things too, I'm not a teacher and just going off what I remember and from other people's stories.
voi26 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adorable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a test to "qualify" for Kindergarten as well (public school), and I guess I took things quite literally when asked questions. For instance, Teacher: "Can you say your ABCs?" 5 yo me: "ABC"
It went like that for the whole test until they realized they had to specify the questions for me. To this day, I insist on specification in nearly everything.
Tuckered__Out ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:31 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a mental health evaluation I once took, a true/false statement I needed to respond to was, "I flew across the Atlantic 50 times last year." That and a couple other questions were there to make sure the person taking it isn't a) not taking the test seriously or b) delusional. I didn't know that until after, of course, and when I asked about those questions, the psychologist said that she gets a message (the test was on a computer) when someone answers a nonsense question the way they aren't supposed to. One time she saw that someone said the had flown across the Atlantic 50 times last year. The person was a flight attendant on international flights, so they really were answering honestly.
sidc9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to take a similar test when I was little. I was shown a picture of a helicopter, something I had never seen before. However, I ended up saying "fan plane!" Not, technically wrong. :D
divajedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty adorable improvisation!
CyberJaws ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as interesting. But when I took my test to get my permit the question was "in which lane must you be in to make a left hand turn?" A:left B:center C: right. Well I figured left was referring to the on coming traffic lane, which in America is the far left. So I chose center.
erfling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. It's opposite test bias day.
DeltaDragonxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the story of one of two questions no missed. I called silver shiny grey. I still insist I was right.
DeltaDragonxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the story of one of two questions no missed. I called silver shiny grey. I still insist I was right.
Sibire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was an Airbus all along.
indecisjve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious and really cute.
yaosio ยท 1481 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a little yaosio I had a similar test done. I was asked to spell "eye" so I spelled "I".
EricKei ยท 2065 points ยท Posted at 03:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time a teacher told me to "look it up in the dictionary" when I asked her how to spell "entree" (I had heard the word, but I had never seen it -- this was 3rd or 4th grade). I eventually gave up, as she refused to so much as hint that the word might not start with the letter O...
o0Rh0mbus0o ยท 2643 points ยท Posted at 03:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
teacher: look it up in the dictionary
me: i can't spell it, how am I supposed to find it?
not_nsfw_throwaway ยท 882 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look it up in the dictionary
AM_SHARK ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 03:39:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did, it's not there.
not_nsfw_throwaway ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows ontray starts with an e. Apply yourself!
bh2005 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:05:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... I was looking it up.
not_nsfw_throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to search for the unitalicised version
bh2005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, thanks. :-)
1. used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified. "a room with two beds in it" referring to an animal or child of unspecified sex. "she was holding the baby, cradling it and smiling into its face" referring to a fact or situation previously mentioned, known, or happening. "stop it, you're hurting me"
2. used to identify a person. "it's me"
3. used in the normal subject position in statements about time, distance, or weather. "it's half past five"
4. used in the normal subject or object position when a more specific subject or object is given later in the sentence. "it is impossible to assess the problem"
5. used to emphasize a following part of a sentence. "it is the child who is the victim"
6. the situation or circumstances; things in general. "no one can stay hereโit's too dangerous now"
7. exactly what is needed or desired. "they thought they were it"
8. informal sex appeal. "he's still got โit.โ" sexual intercourse.
9. informal denoting a person or thing that is exceptionally fashionable, popular, or successful at a particular time. "they were Hollywood's It couple"
10. (in children's games) the player who has to catch the others
spacemanspiff30 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:45:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/DD44eaMD8zg
ShirtlessGirl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:00:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see your YouTube video and raise you a YouTube video https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QWzYaZDK6Is
SuchACommonBird ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fold.
Thanatoshi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:54:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i can't spell it, how am I supposed to find it?
Milo359 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look it up in the dictionary.
magnora7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:46:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine how Chinese people feel
Kylynara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinese dictionaries work basically the same way, because they are sorted the the radicals (pieces) of the characters. However, if you know what a word sounds like and have never seen it written I do believe you are screwed. Asking someone to write it for you would probably require using it in a sentence. You could possibly type it on a computer and figure out which character was right.
mfb- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go through all words, check their pronunciation, see if one of them matches the word you are looking for. Easy.
peanutnozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it /it/ pronoun used to refer to a thing previously mentioned or easily identified. "a room with two beds in it" 2. used to identify a person. "it's me"
fireman212 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:34:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mario
Shimakaze4 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An English teacher of mine once said to us "if I ever tell you to go look a word up in a dictionary and you can't spell it, remind me that you can't spell it so how will you find it"....a few months later I asked her how to spell something and she said "look it up in the dictionary". I then said exactly what she told us to; "Miss you told us to remind you; if I can't spell it how could I find it in the dictionary"....and that's how I got kicked out of class for half an hour for being a smart arse....stupid bitch.
preoncollidor ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:51:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was a good teacher. You learned life is unfair and full of obnoxious cunts.
Ralmaelvonkzar ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 04:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ I'm screaming in my head remembering this shit. Plus I had dyslexia that was not yet diagnosed on top of that
Fuck spelling so much; fuck it in the ass without any lube
Woofiny ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kills the spelling.
hellofellowstudents ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:46:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thsi klils teh splelnig
maczirarg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more like rape.
i_sigh_less ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:29:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God for Google voice recognition, because I no longer have this problem.
PrandialSpork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:49:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've outsourced your homophones to Mountain View
FreakAndy4u ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:33:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all for gay rights, but when did they get their own phones?
EvangelineTheodora ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:47:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read a lot as a child and teenager, and often would read words either not commonly used, or were not spelled how they actually sound. I'm 25 now, and am still being corrected on my pernunciation of certain words, such as "pseudonym" which was the most recent correction.
Edit: I guess I learned how to spell "pronunciation" today.
Aniquin ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:56:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EvangelineTheodora ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, TIL.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bonafidegiggles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do this too! For the same reason
throwthisaway8863 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
epitome
motorsizzle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronunciation
hexensabbat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:00:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!! Someone else like me! I'm about the same age and had the same experience. A friend of mine still calls me out for mispronouncing the word "cholera" years ago...I had only seen it in print, not heard it aloud, and I pronounced it "kuh-LAIR-uh". :/
kittenburrito ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is me, I'll be 28 this June and my husband still occasionally corrects me when I mispronounce something (as I'd like him to so I don't make a fool of myself, lol).
EchoNeko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the asshole that corrects people
nmotsch789 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:24:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you do it politely then it's not an asshole thing, it's a helpful thing
EchoNeko ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how many times they say it wrong :P
yaosio ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood how you're supposed to find words you don't know how to spell them, yet educators insist that you use the dictonary to find words you can't spell. Today you can just say it into any computer and you'll get the correct spelling
Sharrakor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a time, though, Google could not spell fuchsia.
YouSoGetMe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:36:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly how my university 3rd year coding project started, the Professors 8yo son could not spell 'who', he spelt it 'hoo' and couldn't find it in the dictionary.
So we wrote a phonemic spell-checker, got A's for it. It was a great project, but the pain was when I had to spell-check the document with over 2000 spelling errors and their pattern matches in it.
LumpyShitstring ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:39:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sound it out"
EricKei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She actually said this, as I recall. Still refused to listen to me trying to explain that I couldn't find it in there ("O...n...t...")
ButImNot_Bitter_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:37:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the conversation I had in third grade with my teacher, a former nun. Knowing that 'stomach' started with an 'St' wasn't enough to help me find the word in the OED. There just wasn't enough time in English class. So I changed it to 'belly'. She tried to give me detention for that one. I wasn't trying to be a smartass, I was just trying to hand in the essay before lunch like we were supposed to!
sericatus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:20:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: quit being a smart ass.
mildlyEducational ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:30:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at page one. Check every word. Easy.
IAMASharkFighter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
belt snap You better get to reading! Here's a tip, start with the A's.
preoncollidor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let Google autocorrect it for you.
o0Rh0mbus0o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"you aren't allowed to use the internet, it is unreliable"
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. This was pre-Google, pre-internet, and pre-"everyone has a PC" days ;) As in "Atari 2600 was the hot new console" days.
MingusDew691 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the dictionary.
CharlotteFields ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck, being dyslexic this really gets to me.
quoththeraven929 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:44 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a teacher who tried to convince me that the phrase "no one" was in fact a single word, "noone." I vehemently disagreed with her, since she'd taken points off of my essay for my "error," and I knew I was right (my mom has a Master's in English and had been teaching me to proofread since the day I was born). I had to find a thesaurus and look up antonyms of "someone" to find written proof that "noone" is not, in fact, a word.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a dictionary that had words misspelled and then spelled correctly so that you could look up a word in it to find the correct spelling if you didn't know how to spell it.
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact Chinese Dictionaries allow you to look up words you don't know how to spell because of how their "alphabet" works.
xXduyasseneXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psst I don't suppose a thesaurus is out of the question nowadays.
funk_monk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thesaurus is equally useless.
What you want is a phonetic dictionary. They exist. I know because I had problems spelling when I was in primary school and had to use one every now and then.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh bummer, we forgot to build an index on definition. Just select the spelling from the dictionary where the definition matches what you're thinking.
sadi89 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dyslexic and struggle with spelling as a result. The number of times teachers told me to "look it up in the dictionary" it's like...bitch I can barely read and I have a very poor grasp on letter sound connection...this isn't going to work.
Sciaphobia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you said bitch though?
sadi89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:31 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, thought it a lot though.
EducatedMouse ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 5th grade teacher always said this, and one time I spent the entire amount of time we had to write trying to figure out how to spell "ancient". I ended up giving up but failing the assignment because all I had was "I walked up the achent wooden stairs"
Celestaria ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, ultimately the lesson in time management/prioritizing is probably more important than whatever historical facts you were supposed to be tested on. Ideally your teacher would explain this before you start the test though.
EducatedMouse ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:01:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, I'm not bitter about it or anything. This was ages ago, basically achent times. I've learned since then.
IdiotManChild ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God today's students won't have that problem: https://www.google.com/search?q=achent
pletentious_asshore ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:35:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a horrific speller and that kind of shit is so irritating. I still misspell things so badly that sometimes even google can't guess what I'm trying to say so I have to add context clues.
musicchan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am 100% sure that teacher didn't know how to spell it either.
mttomb2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact same experience in 5th grade with the word "eulogy." The teacher just kept telling me to look it up in the dictionary. Lady, I've looked through the entire U and Y sections! I'm not going to find it! You'd think she'd at least give me a hint that it stated with an E.
needs-an-adult ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought about it, but my 5th grade teacher was pretty awesome because he told us right off the bat to ask about words we didn't understand and warned us about trying to find unknown words in the dictionary, recounting his experiences with "lip sync". Ten year old me loved him.
Glad you didn't win that contest to go on the Challenger, Mr. Heathcliff...
hiddenstar13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:25:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad literacy teacher
This would only be acceptable if you had already been taught the following:
A) the "o" sound can be spelled with "e" at the start of words when they start with an "on" sound, as in "entree" or "entendre" (good opportunity to teach students about French loan words here) (probably not appropriate to teach primary school students the word entendre)
B) when looking up a word in the dictionary that you don't know how to spell, consider other ways to spell the first sound. Usually we spell the "o" sound with an "o", but it can also be spelled other ways like in "was" or "entree".
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye. To be fair, this is how I found out about part A. I asked my parental units once I got home.
DemandAmbition ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:42:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dyslexic and had a phonetic dictionary called the ACE spelling dictionary, it was great for this
yourpseudonymsucks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:50:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher didn't know how to spell it either.
Tried to pass off their ignorance as a "teaching moment".
Fuck that teacher.
NobleServant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the problem with different pronunciations of "the" as in "thuh" and "thee". Teacher thought I was taking the piss when I asked how "thee" was spelt and got cross with me.
Draegur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's served on a tray
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ba dum bum tssh :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, she didn't know how to spell it either!
meggiemae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher do that to me with the word "pneumonia" - I had no idea that it didn't start with N...
Madruck_s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:05:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the most amazing dyslexic dictionary that would also have phonetic spellings it was also broke down into syllables so phone would be listed under F too.
theangryprune ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 5th grade I couldn't spell Koala. I couldn't look it up because I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT. My teacher looks at me like I'm a moron and says, "How do you THINK you spell it?!" I said K...W...(kwala?) And my teacher made fun of me in front of the whole class.
Mister_Lady_C ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother ALWAYS sent me to the dictionary. But she always gave me the first letter. We also had a phonetic dictionary that I would reference. Provided the educator is not a fuckwit it's a really good method. I can't tell you how many words I learn just in my quest for one word.
Thegoldenwolf15 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the first grade, I asked my teacher how to spell "why". She only looked at me in confusion and said "It's just a letter, how do you not know how to spell it?". And for the rest of the year that's how I wrote the word "why"
Cam455 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a chance that she didn't want to admit that she also didn't know how to spell it.
Sa_Rart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they didn't know, either?
stormkeeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'on-tray'
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
day25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because you didn't follow her instructions. You were supposed to look up the word "it". Entree was most likely used in the description as part of the example sentence "I just ordered an entree and it was very expensive."
WillieNederWiet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but how the fuck do you prononounce it ontree?
EricKei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how. I heard it as "on tray" at the time. The difference between that and an inflected sound closer to "ahn tray" didn't occur to me then, as I'd never seen French written out, and my only exposure to related terms had been to the occasional Cajun French curse word (all of which I've long since forgotten) ;)
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn thats a twisted way of saying the word. But yeah that explains a lot. I personally grew up with German, French and English influences alongside the dutch language. So I've never had a problem with pronunciations or spelling words.
vezokpiraka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what? How do you say entree? I don't know much french, but I'm pretty sure "en" is pronounced something like "an" and not with "o".
EricKei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True (hindsight is 20/20...) -- but to my little kid mind, "on" was the closest sound that came to mind at the time.
minivanmary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college I went on a school trip to France with my professor's family. Their 7-year-old had the best franglais from growing up bilingual and still figuring it all out. We were at a restaurant once and had a few menu options, so the kid, speaking in English because of our terrible French, asked us, "Which enter are you getting?"
MonkeyPanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a French word originally, maybe she just wouldn't admit that she didn't know herself.
beldaran1224 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The internet has your back now.
_wirving_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's the dictionary definition of a shitty teacher.
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I C wot U d'd thr ^_^
_wirving_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy B)
Jacob_Nuly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so nice that we have Google now. I searched "ontray" and it asked if I meant "entree".
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I was in elementary school. Had some paper to write, and was working on it in the morning during breakfast. Suddenly had a brain-fart, and couldn't remember how to spell "of". I kept thinking it was "uv" but that never looked right. I asked my mom, and she thought I was just stalling and got angry with me for wasting time.
The_Astronautt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just described every elementary teacher I've ever had.
cromwell08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the 3rd grade I used the word "aint" in a conversation with my teacher. She responded "aint aint a word because it aint in the dictionary." My smart ass grabbed a dictionary and showed her that the word "aint" actually WAS in the dictionary. Shut her up quickly.
Ishuzu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sort of thing happened to me so many times as a child, made me so frustrated... I was so glad when google happened.
ais523 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At school they gave us spelling dictionaries specifically to deal with this sort of problem. (They were similar to normal dictionaries, but without definitions, and sorted by pronunciation, rather than spelling; it was divided into sections based on the first strong vowel in the word.)
nalydpsycho ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does a non-specific pronoun have to do with entree?
keithioapc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully nowadays the dictionary is google and ontray (or whatever) works as a lookup.
avLugia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg... I had no idea how to spell entree for tbe longest time. I always hear it in those Red Lobster comercials and used it pretty often for some reason. Some spellings I had: Alantre, Antre, Olontre, Ontre. Never occured to me that it might have started with a e.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe because it doesn't start with an O? You don't need to know how to spell it if you want to look it up.
NC-Lurker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And how do you find a word in the dictionary if you don't know its spelling, especially the first letter?
EricKei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that my entire point was that I did not know this at the time (due to age and inexperience -- it wasn't exactly on the vocabulary list), and the teacher refused to clarify it...right? That, and, in this case, yes I did need to know at least know the first letter in order to find it.
Katyperrystwinsister ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:52:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, maybe this is a stupid question, but how did they ask you to spell eye without showing you how to spell eye?
the_supersalad ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably vocally.
untide ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:07:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Spell eye" points to eye
cryokin ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still pointing to yourself, in the "I" sense.
aimitis ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By providing a simple definition just like teachers do when giving a spelling test
WarwickshireBear ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:04:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Spell eye"
"Can I have it in a sentence?"
"I closed my eye"
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a one on one oral test. The guy giving me the test thought I was repeating him and asked the question again. I knew the hell out of my slightly different shapes though.
WastingMyLifeHere2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐
OldEndangeredGinger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:53:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me happy, and it makes me think of my kindergarten entrance test... My future teacher had me count to 100, then do it again by 10s. After I did those (I'm sure with some prompting) she asked if I could count to 100 any other way. I'm sure she wanted to know if I could count by 2s or 5s or something along the lines of actually counting, but I, in my absolute 6 year old genius said, "one, two, skip a few, nighty-nine, a hundred"
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We learned how to count to 100 in kindergarten! You kids today are learning stuff so fast.
OldEndangeredGinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually forgot this until you said that, but, I was transferring in the middle of the year because my dad got a new job and we'd moved states.
FreakAndy4u ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:39:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kindergarten entrance test? Where do you go if you fail? Remedial kindergarten? I thought that was just kindergarten.
OldEndangeredGinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe entrance test is a bad term. More like interview? But I don't know what happens if you do really poorly, go into special ed?
sir_mrej ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yaosio?
yaosio ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my name, don't wear it out.
sir_mrej ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow I totally thought that was some weird word I didn't know...
bluesox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sir_mrej?
ElectroHouseDeej ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 7-8, my mum asked if I could spell 'doctor'.
I replied, "yea that's easy, Dr"
I was a smart arse!
DuplexFields ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in second grade, I was struggling to write something down on my "daily report", until I heard Kenneth shouting at Anne, the teacher's aide, as he was put in time-out: "you're a fing b*!"
I didn't know what those words meant, but I did know it sounded like an insult, so I wrote, "Anne is not a fing b*." Minutes later, the teacher came by to see if our daily reports were okay to send home to our parents. She told me I had to rewrite mine. "Okay, but is it spelled right?" I asked.
She re-read it, and said both words were, indeed, spelled correctly. I was very pleased with myself as I erased it and wrote something else I had learned that day.
bluesox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, buddy. You can say "fucking bitch" on Reddit without getting banned or censored. Besides, all those asterisks totally fucked up your comment. Search for "Reddit markdown" to learn how it works.
Its_me_your_sister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But is it spelled right?
DuplexFields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Reddit shrug ascii emoji)
halvmesyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant PBF http://pbfcomics.com/archive_b/PBF246-Bee.gif
mantolwen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was little we sometimes had ice cream with chocolate sauce at home. I asked my dad to put an 'I' on it (as the first letter of my name). Instead he drew an eye.
FreakAndy4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have a really cool display at the Exploratorium in San Francisco. Looks like neon but is probably LED's. Depending on how you look at it it is either an "I" an "eye" or a picture of an eye.
XanderSnave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in first grade, I missed the very first question on my first spelling test. My teacher said what sounded to me as "uh" so I wrote a single letter u (I hadn't learned about putting the h after it at this point.) Turns out what she was looking for was "a."
Funlovingpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Invisioning asmall Yaosio. Almost as terrifying as the actual Yaosio.
yaosio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was even more terrifying as a little Yaosio because I was much faster and sleeker. Also I didn't know how to control my uncontrollable anger. In school this led to me crying when I was frustrated and lying about why I was crying so nobody knew I was frustrated, and at home I'd scream and knock my parents around.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing. If you address mail to "Eye St., NW" in Washington, DC they will deliver it to the appropriate address on I St., NW. I assume this works in all quadrants, I just used NW as an example. I believe some people do this in order to avoid any potential confusion with 1st St. I don't know if this works in other cities; but I wouldn't be surprised if it did. I wonder what happens if your city has an Eye St., an I St., and a 1st St.
RINGER4567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WELL TECHNICALLY YOU ARE NOT WRONG
PM-ME-YO-TITTAYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 9, my friend at school asked me how to spell Y. I replied, "W H Y". He said, "no, the letter Y".
Muskwalker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not what he wanted, but the names of the letters do have spellings you don't see oftenโฆ Y is "wye".
awesomlycreativename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to think that it went on the Monty Python style of things. Test Admin: Spell eye Yaosio: I Test Admin: No eye Yaosio: I Test Admin: Yes eye Yaosio: I Test Admin: No, spell eye.
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/kTcRRaXV-fg
awesomlycreativename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what I was thinking.
Privvy_Gaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I looked at your username, I was trying to figure out ehat language yaosio meant child and it took me a long time to remember that I wouldn't have a clue in the first place.
leutinentpwnage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me on a first grade spelling test (I cried after I missed it)
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have an I street in my city. Results in some fun directions on business cards.
IellaAntilles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first day of kindergarten I was daydreaming and not listening to what the teacher was saying. Suddenly she starts calling out letters for us to spell something. I dutifully started writing them down but I had no idea why we were doing this.
I heard "Wand: O-N-E. Too: T-W-O."
Oh, I thought, we're just learning to spell random words. Okay, cool.
"Three: T-H-R-E-E. For: F-O-U-R."
It wasn't until we got to five or six that I realized what the pattern was.
Hates_escalators ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:45:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like a penguin. 0_0
Gurusto ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:02:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it lays an egg... it will fall down the back of the television set!
the_king_of_sweden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a male
res30stupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks rather butch...
cleverseneca ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:44:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intercourse the penguin!
Hates_escalators ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:11:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BURMA!!
the2belo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:28:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I panicked!
res30stupid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:22:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now it's time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode
the2belo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:16:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'OW DID 'E KNOW THAT WAS GOING TO 'APPEN
res30stupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was an inspired guess.
hai1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no no, I don't mean what's on the television set, I meant what programme!
newaccountdealwithit ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's probably not a coincidence there was a plant on the television. They probably wanted to test her awareness of the "on" in a given context, and she was supposed to think that even though there is a plant on top of the tv, her awareness of the general use of the phrase "on television" should have made her say the cartoon is on television instead of plant. The administrator probs didn't understand the test if the interaction went like that, though.
SunTzu- ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:35:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct, the question is obviously intended to test language aptitude. Language aptitude tests aren't the best for intelligence testing though, which is why they've mostly been retired, as they indicate more about socialization than innate intelligence.
gumby_twain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chekhov's test?
Hade34 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:48:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had a hearing test that kept saying "find the firetruck" (or other object) and the doctor said he was deaf because he wasn't pointing at the firetruck he was just literally finding it by looking at it.
lindsaychild ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took my friend's daughter for her hearing test and the person conductingโthe test was getting concerned because the girl wasn't picking out the first object, a cow. After a few minutes, I changed the picture of the cow from a black and white one to a brown one. Had to explain that the cows in the field behind her house were brown.
bluesox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:50:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? How does changing a picture affect a hearing test?
Edit: Nevermind. I get it now. She had to point to a picture of a cow when she heard it.
morrisdayandthetime ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was really young, by mother became convinced that I was color blind. I was just a bit behind learning my colors. We were on the way to the doctor when she realized what was going on.
iStinger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was going on?
morrisdayandthetime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:33:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't color blind, I was crappy at naming colors. She kept quizzing me, asking, "what color is that car?" and such on the way to see the doc. I finally started to get it.
woahthat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cant name colors if you dont know their names
Krankite ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a flawed question here in Australia. The c question is simple enough "what colour is grass?" the problem is kids growing up in outback Australia during a drought that have never seen rain.
dadtaxi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My twin girls, when they were quite young, had a pre-school's grading test and were asked "does the sun shine at night". Being fairly intelligent they both answered "yes". They then both came home in tears for being told off when they argued after the teacher said they had both got the answer wrong.
Some words were had at the subsequent parent-teacher meeting.
Many more , much louder words were had when I was informed "Well yes, technically they're correct, but that's the answer in the book and they're not expected at this level to know the real answer, only the 'right' answer"
syriquez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:05:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had something similar happen in my own childhood apparently. I don't remember it but it's a story my mother tells often since the in-training administrator was convinced my actions were the signs of a student with a learning disability.
The basic test was to follow a pattern step-by-step using blocks of various colors until the final structure was completed and somehow the prospective student's future of "mentally behind, average, or advanced" was determined by that evaluation. It was a long process with many steps and apparently Ms. Trainee hadn't bothered to read the full program before starting the test with me. Because apparently by a couple steps in, I was insisting on jumping to the final step with the remaining parts. She was getting flustered which in turn made me uncooperative since this dumb lady was busy telling me I was wrong even though I knew I wasn't. So naturally her response was that I was developmentally behind...which my mom had to disagree with since I was already doing the basic operations of math and other things well beyond my age. The senior administrator had to step in and point out to the Trainee that I was trying to get to the final result because I'd already figured out what it was and going step-by-step was extremely slow and boring.
karlsmission ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom, who grew up in a very Mormon household, was given a similar test, and as part of the test was given kitchen items to play with and was observed. Well she was putting things away, and got to the coffee pot, and stuck it in the fridge. The observer declared "wow, so smart! It's hot out and she's making iced coffee!" My grandma didn't have the heart to tell her that my mother had never seen a coffee pot before, so probably just stuck it there just because she didn't know anywhere else to put it.
JustAlex69 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:56:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a kid they tested my eyes since i had lazy eyes before and needed to check if it made me see double, so they had a picture of a lion and one picture with a cage and they would ask me if the lion was sleeping in the cage and i was like: no its not sleeping in the cage. then the doctor adjusted something and asked again, my answere was the same, so after like 7 rounds of that my mom is getting kinda nervous and ask the doctor if something is wrong, and the doctor is like: yes according to these results he is only using one eye to see, hence why he cant see the lion in the cage. at which point i interrupt him: well the lion was always in the cage but he was always standing and not sleeping
CasuConsuIto ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:18:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar! Only it was a statue. When the administrator said I got it wrong, I asked "how" and they said it was an ad. So I shot back with "then it should have asked 'what was showing on tv?'".
He asked "you take questions and statements, literally, don't you?" I mean come on... be more clear
Thesaurii ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The goal of those tests is to check your ability to understand context, the thing sitting on top of the TV is there intentionally to be a wrong answer. There are several questions on these kind of tests to see if you take things literally like that, and if you do, it can be a sign of a lack of social development.
That doesn't mean this is a good question on the test - its really a test of how your parents talk about the television, which is stupid - but that is the intention.
I remember doing very poorly on these tests, because my friend and I had a game of asking each other trick questions where the easy answer is wrong, and that test is basically a series of questions that seem like trick questions but aren't.
DuckDuckYoga ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But honestly given only the context of "what is on television" both answers would be correct. If /u/CasuConsuIto was told they were wrong after the first guess then there was really no way to know which answer they wanted.
JonnyApplePuke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:28:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me I needed to move my seedlings away from the cold window. Thanks for saving my nasturtiums!
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing: in grade school I once got a math problem about counting legs wrong because I thought dragons had 2 legs. I was wrong though, this 100% fictional being that was never pictured anywhere in the book obviously has 4 legs.
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:33:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh when I was about 6 I think I went to a new school and they asked me to spell stuff on my first day - I guess it was an assessment. Spell "A" and spell "on" etc. They got to "in". They asked me to spell "in" and I asked which one. I don't remember it much, my mum tells me the story, but apparently I got into a heated "argument" that there were two "ins" - one for the "in" we use every day and one with two ns. Inn. as in ... Inn.
Teacher (Mrs Perkins IIRC) didn't like that I was "confusing" the other children.
She never did specify which "in/inn" she wanted spelling. I have a suspicion it was the first one.
quineloe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:24:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If all you can do is check answers against an answer sheet, don't complain when robots take your job from you.
StubbornAssassin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:01:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a family story about a cousin who had a similar sort of test. Thoroughly bored, the then young lad wasnt being very cooperative. So when then the tester asked him what an object was for the 50th time with no response she exasperatedly says, 'biscuit!' And turns the page. He responds by turning the page back and possibly even more exasperatedly retorts, 'bourbon cream!'
CeauxViette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Custards are my fav but I'll never say no to a bourbon!
missfarthing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son had some testing done recently. Verbal comprehension in the WISC V is essentially giving them two words as the kid has to say how they are alike. For example an apple and an orange are both fruit. The psychologist asks my kid to compare "A pound and a yard" to which my kid replies that they are both places you keep a dog. He wasn't wrong! But that wasn't the answer on the key. They kept going of course and she marked him right. He ended up in the 99.9th percentile on that section, essentially a perfect score. What is funny is that his dad was administered the WISC at around the same age and gave the same exact answer to the pound/yard question. He died when my son was 3 so it isn't like my kid knew about it. I didn't know until my mother in law saw my son's test results.
Schlinke16 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another similar story, at the end of pre-K we had to take a test to determine if we were ready to start kindergarten. During the test, I was told to write out the numbers 1 to 10. I wrote 1, 2, 10. My mom is still mad I was counted wrong for that one.
-Karakui ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:04:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love developmental psychology. Such bullshit. According to my mother:
I was once taken to a child psychologist to test my ability to pay attention to things. The experiment started with the tester bouncing a ball on the floor. Naturally, child me paid attention to this ball. Then, the ball was hidden and a noise played on the other side of the room. The children were supposed to pay attention to the noise. Not me though. I was fascinated to see where this ball had gone. As such, there was a period of about half an hour where everyone though I was deaf. Turns out I wasn't deaf, I just had a more developed sense of object permanence than I was supposed to and still remembered the ball existed when it was taken away and wanted to know where it had gone more than I wanted to pay attention to the noise.
Thesaurii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:03:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not bullshit when done by even half-competent testers. They don't do the one ball test and then declare you are deaf or stupid. They do a ton of tests, expecting that individual children will react in different ways to a lot of things, and only grow particularly concerned if you fail multiple tests in the same way. Then they talk to you and try to figure it out.
Memories aren't exact, old ones get filled in by time, biases, experiences, and storytelling. Minutes can become hours, concern can become panic, small comments made by one person become whole room of people. More likely, your mom saw the test/was told about the test, thought you might be deaf or someone said they would double check to see if you were deaf, then they concluded you just thought the ball was interesting and moved on. The psychologist checked in the box that you didn't respond as expected, and that it might bear looking in to if it was a pattern, then they did a bunch more tests and probably concluded it was no big deal and you were within the norm.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, true, I'm well aware of the flaws of memory and that's why I don't trust anecdotes, I just think this is an amusing and harmless story so I don't mind telling it. And this isn't my entire basis for "dev psyc is bullshit" btw. Most of my opinions on Dev Psyc are from having studied it and having decided it's bullshit after writing a long essay on part of it.
LumpyShitstring ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:38:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In preschool. I was eating goldfish crackers and offered some to my friend. She asked her dad (it was like a snack period where we waited for our parents to pick us up) if she could have some and the following ensued:
Friend: dad can I have goldfish crackers? Dad: hmm. I don't know. (To me) what's in them? Me: (bites one in half and shows him) nothing! Dad: no I mean what's in them? Me, confused: They're empty... Dad: no, like what are they made out of? Me: ohhhhhh you mean the ingredients!
IPutTheHotDogInTheBu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:39:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would he ask a preschooler what ingredients are in a snack food?
Cosmic_Cowboy2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:01:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More important question: why would he have to seriously ask anyone what a goldfish cracker is made of?
AnotherSmallFeat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:45:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he had no one else to ask.
LordoftheSynth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Safer than a penguin.
Phylar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hard to blame the administrator. These tests are often designed with specific, high probablity answers in mind. However, as you found out, some answers will be accepted so long as they fall within certain guidelines.
Or at least I hope there was a plant and the answer was a go.
RoshanMuncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of those after encephalitis, was 10 at the time and had planned for multiple tests, but during the first day they showed me picture of shopping mall, and some of the products had missing labels. I noticed it instantly, but then I noticed something else which was cleaning products with food products at same aisle. The doctor just said to my mom after the session that there is no need for other ones.
STRiPESandShades ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:48:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why standardized testing doesn't work, folks
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:18:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it doesn't suggest that at all
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Sjipsdew ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:44:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it doesn't suggest that at all
morrisdayandthetime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why standardized testing doesn't works, folks.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:57:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has nothing to do with standardized testing and everything to do with a bad test.
FlyHarvey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't work? What does that even mean?
SunTzu- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, his fiance answered wrong. The plant was "on top of" the television, not "on" the television. The question was supposed to test linguistic aptitude and the answer failed to make the distinction. This is compounded by a poor test-giver who failed to comprehend what the test was measuring and decided to overrule the test.
Think of it this way. Why would you ever ask that question on an intelligence test if there wasn't a plant in the picture as a red herring?
Third_Ferguson ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both readings of "on the television" are equally valid. There are ways to test the distinction without declaring one to be right and one wrong, which they aren't.
Cosmic_Cowboy2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the test's problem, though. Can you think of any other reason to ask "What's on the TV," instead of just showing whatever picture was on the TV and asking "What is this a picture of," except to see which interpretation of "on" the child assumes from the context?
It may not have been intended as a right/wrong question originally, but apparently the answer key had it marked that way.
denis998 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:14:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be the correct answer in the Russian language
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:56:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most languages that aren't english. It's just a coincidence of english.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Latin
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's how the fight started.
i_hope_i_remember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex wife asked me that one day. I told her 'dust'. She wasn't a very happy woman.
Binary__Fission ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky they checked and didn't just fail her.
friedchocolate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Spanish, they're two separate words. El televisor vs la televisi'on
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of one my cousin asked me if I wanted to watch a video. He put it on top of the television for me to look at.
FeyCGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
administrator failed the awareness test...
LaustinSpayce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had this joke in our household growing up, and still 15 years after moving out I'll ask my mum:
"What's on the telly tonight?"
"Four picture frames and a candlestick."
FreakAndy4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an albatross on the TV.
Rose94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a stranger one, when I was little I had a psych test to see if I could skip the first year of school. I was also extremely into disney movies as a child (still am, that never went away).
Some of the questions were about what some basic objects were for. One of which was an umbrella.
I was apparently insistent that an umbrella was used to fly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum has a similar one from when she sat the 11+. One question was:
Which of these is the odd one out?
If you answered "dog", you're wrong. The answer is a radio, because it's the only one you don't need a licence for.
My mum's nearly 60 now and that still bothers her.
breakingoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But some places you don't need a license for a dog, and some radios you do need a license for...
I would pick 'dog' too because it is the more obvious odd item out. It's a living creature, the rest are inanimate objects. Also I wouldn't expect an 11 year old to know you need a license for a dog.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and if we really want to get into it, you don't need a licence to own a car, only to drive one.
It was a stupid question to decide 11 year olds' futures off.
There was a similar one on the same test about the longest day of the year. IIRC you were supposed to put the Summer solstice, because that's when you see the most hours of daylight. My mum put the day the clocks go back, because there's 25 hours in that day.
socool111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look up the penguin sketch by Monty Python...is linked it but I'm on mobile.
goldengracie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a penguin on the telly.
Mazon_Del ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a result of all those "Children are smarter than adults" tests where the "right" answer to that question WOULD be "a plant", I'm no longer sure in questions like this what answer is desired. T_T
PandaSouls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When are you two getting married?
Egrizzzzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on April 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah gosh I just found this. Honestly we don't know. We were set to start planningโ a year after engagement but now we've got a lot of money problems!
PandaSouls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:11 on April 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well as long as you two know you'll be together I don't think it'll be that much of an issue until everything is sorted. Best of luck buddy!
Egrizzzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:44 on April 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soviet Russia:
โDo you have coloured TVs?
โYes, we do!
โGreat, I'll take a green one!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds a lot like how I processed information when I was a child.
s_n_mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son has a similar story when they were testing him for admittance to his new school. He had one mistake in the science part.
Q: What do you do when you catch fire? Correct A: Stop, drop, and roll
His answer? Scream
The_Real_dubbedbass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of standardized testing. In Texas we had to take the TAAS test. And it's bullshit and all the teacher practice on it like it's the most important thing on earth. So like a couple weeks before the test they start doing practice tests.
I got two questions from different teachers that STILL piss me off a good 20 years later.
First one showed: a turtle, a fish, a monkey, and a dinosaur. Question, which is unlike the others? My answer: Monkey. It's the only warm blooded creature. Right answer? Dinosaur, it's extinct. Forget that the other creatures all lack hair, internal temperature regulation and lack both live birth and nursing.
Other question: shows a bicycle,a car, a truck, and a snowmobile. Q: which is different? My answer? Bicycle; it lacks an engine. "correct" answer? Snowmobile, no wheels.
Sorry. But my answers aren't wrong. The questions are just stupid.
spyfox321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:06 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you were way too smart for your age...
Also we don't know yet if dinosaurs are cold-blooded, it's not proven.
LowFatBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in elementary school we were asked to draw our homes. Everyone drew a picture of the front of their house, except me. I drew a top down floor plan for some reason. My teacher looked at it and said that's the first time someone had done that, but it wasn't wrong.
somajones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never in my short sweet life had I even seen a peach before. We were to label the drawings to test our spelling in first grade and I was confused and shocked to see a drawing of a butt complete with butt crack.
waldfreunde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently I did a similar thing in my early school placement test.
Which one doesn't belong? Dog Cat Hamster Bear
The 'correct' answer is bear because it does not make for a suitable pet, but I answered hamster because it's not a carnivore.
SolongStarbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intelligence tests are such bullshit.
Here's an actual intelligence question I once had to answer.
Which is the odd one out?: A. knife B. lead pipe C. shard of glass d. scissors
You would think lead pipe, because the others are sharp, right? Nope, the answer was shard of glass because the other three are made of metal. For fuck's sake!
valeyard89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sick and tired of all this sex on the telly! I keep falling off.
SnArL817 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remind me of this Animaniacs episode.
quigilicious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my dick goes "shpwing!" when I get a boner
SkinnySmokesThaRosin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like the administrator wasn't very aware...
OpulentOcelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was part of a series of early childhood development studies at the nearby major research university. One study was on object permanence, They had some black bars or a tv screen, and had characters and objects go behind it. In the course of this study, my brother got up, crossed the room and removed the bars from the screen to figure out where they went.
The facilitators were stunned and told my mum that they had never had a child do that before.
Workingusrname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was a mural artist. They tested me on colors. "Is this blue, green, orange, or yellow?" Type questions. I said none of the above. It was clearly blue. They call up my mom, to ask why I don't know my colors. She is like "no really, he knows his colors, ask him what color each one is instead of making him choose. Because instead of saying "not there" instead of blue and red and green, I was like "that's cobalt, scarlet, and chartreuse."
KontraKode ยท 27453 points ยท Posted at 01:55:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are you late?"
"The bell went off before I got here."
CaptainFourpack ยท 366 points ยท Posted at 05:43:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why are you late?"
"I had trouble with my bike"
"what was the trouble?"
"I didn't get on it early enough"
STEIN325 ยท 5793 points ยท Posted at 02:58:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius. Will use this tomorrow Edit: Jesus Christ that blew up.
abcedarian ยท 3519 points ยท Posted at 04:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I really wanted to try out this new joke"
HoTs_DoTs ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 05:22:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's from 'saved by the bell'
BallinHonky ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:31:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Great well you can try it at your next job. Now get the fuck off the property."
ameya2693 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:00:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIFU by trying to come late and make a funny joke about it, 'The bell went off before I got here.'
CFClarke7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:55:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
flingerdu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:00:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're free to go to the principle and tell it again"
-Karakui ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, harsh school. Back at my school if you showed up late, most teachers let you off if you had some genuinely amusing excuse. As long as it wasn't more than like, 15 minutes late anyway.
Rambley ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Shit, I fucked it up."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:03:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess I'll have to try again tomorrow!
killourTeemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So ask me again.
puppetmaster2501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you started with that.. so they reply, "What joke?"
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 04:48:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you're planning on being late lol. Not hating, it's just funny.
preoncollidor ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of a lifestyle choice than a specific plan.
Simpfally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more about accepting your fate than a lifestyle choice.
Lingispingis ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Have a seat!" "The bell rung before...oh"
ArianaOnlineNews ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you're already planning to be late tomorrow.
aFlyGoat ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:32:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
doorbellguy ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks.
Delvanton ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:30:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. - T. Hanks
ihatedogs2 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:12:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big if true.
BigTunaHaircut ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:14:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOOD point
twenty7forty2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks. I first heard it from my grandma's great great grandpa's mothers great aunt in a fax.
trvscls07 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:54:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say you could just arrive on time, but that's crazy talk.
shlongkong ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some things are inevitable. For some people being late is right after death and taxes.
thrustingbanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a person who is chronically late, I love this quote. I was actually planning on sharing the quote until I realized in order to do that I would have to type out and share "quote" -SHLONGKONG
p.s. +10 points for that username
DangerousCabbage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being organised is not a personality type, it's a behaviour. You can change your behaviour
Sooolow ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:07:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being anal is not a personality type, it's a behavior. You can change your behavior.
DangerousCabbage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:16:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever floats your boat buddy.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually pretty tied in with adult ADD. Some people can't just "change their behaviour", anymore than depressed people can "just be happy!".
magkruppe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:50:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that just seems like an excuse. While some people may be like that, they are in the extreme minority. And this is coming from someone who is 5-10 minutes late to class often. (I should just come to class on the hour instead of planning on coming when the lecture starts at 5 past).
amoetodi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like you're only late because you can't be bothered being on time and you've got some typical mind fallacy stuff going on. People are different, just because you're only late when you're not trying doesn't mean that's true for others.
magkruppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm late because I obviously don't put enough importance in those lectures or whatever, quite straightforward.
I'm not saying everyone is like me, but rather most people are. When someone comes late it's generally their carelessness although there are exceptions.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's about 4-5% ADHD, and another 5% or so with ADD. One in ten isn't exactly an extreme minority.
It also isn't insurmountable, but neither is depression. It's just more complex than "just change!".
magkruppe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone with ADHD can't go to class on time. Don't understand why people are making the exception to be the rule...
MrPoletski ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:07:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck did you put in the bell?
fearguns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
found the dilly dallyer
Oscarfulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pick up Will.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but I've graduated so it's a little late to try.
roman1231 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would but my teachers don't care if I'm late.
running_toilet_bowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be naughty to have less karma as a whole on your account than the comment you just posted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you have about 3500 karma when this post alone has 4500? What have you been doing on Reddit the past 3 months
SenorToasty2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No this is what I say "someone told me to go to hell, and I was trying to find it, but it looks as if I am already here."
cookiefart28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna try it but I'm not in high school anymore.
AchtungKarate ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:49:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not just be on time tomorrow?
PM_UR_NIPPLE_PIERCNG ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Down vote for edit
hello_worrld ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody likes these edits.
jinx1213 ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 04:25:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can relate. My husband usually goes off before I get there.
TheresA_LobsterLoose ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:54:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you won't have to worry about that anymore considering you're now a widow
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:26:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fucking savage
TheresA_LobsterLoose ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, a while after submitting it, I was hoping people would get it was a "call the burn ward/wrecked" type of comment and not some creepy comment directed at a female user
not_so_plausible ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the joke. Help me.
TheresA_LobsterLoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She fucking wrecked her husband with that burn of a comment. He's dead. Hence her now being a widow
coffeeisforwimps ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:41:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You said you didn't like reddit and now you're on here complaining about our sex life!
bkarst5 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 03:34:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Do you think there aren't people here that haven't seen the movie High School High? For Shame!
KontraKode ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:59:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, funnily enough I saw that movie back in the day but forgot that line. Must've been where the student got it from.
Cunt_zapper ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:43:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1996, staring Jon Lovitz, 13% on Rotten Tomatoes.
https://youtu.be/oLf2PusBhFQ
It looks awful.
I can't wait to watch it!
Please151 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fucking fantastic, in both ways
MiddleAgesRoommates ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gregg Popovich?
actual_factual_bear ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:27:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite answer whenever anybody asks "why" or what the reason for something is:
"Causality."
CareForOurAdivasis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why?
MacGyver_15 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:30:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recursion.
CareForOurAdivasis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:12:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recursion
MissLauralot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But doesn't 'why' imply intent? That's how I've always interpreted it but many people seem use it more liberally than that. Here the question assumes the person was late on purpose. /u/KontraKode
actual_factual_bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:51:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting... I didn't see that at all. I would interpret the question as "please provide an explanation of why you are late" which would be a causal chain; perhaps there were certain circumstances beyond the person's control or perhaps not. The question does seem to be attempting to determine whether or not the person is to blame.
MissLauralot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know people use language in different ways and this could come across as arrogant blah blah blah but imo the person should have asked "What made you late?" In the same way, you should ask "What makes the sky blue?" rather than why? How is also useful.
Asking why (as in, for an intent of an action or a purpose of a feature) is a powerful question and I feel that people undermine the word by using it this way.
Sorry for venting - it is a pet hate of mine.
SlendyIsBehindYou ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:15:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar to JROTC when I came to inspection with dirty shoes
Drill Sargent: Cadet *SlendyIsBehindYou", what's that dirt on your shoes?
Me (half-asleep and confused by the question: "It's dirt sir"
iamiamwhoami ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 04:31:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why teachers make such a big deal about tardiness. They're reaction to the latenessโ always seemed to be more of a disruption than the lateness itself.
[deleted] ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:56:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you never understood why you're English teacher made such a big deal out of the difference between their, there and they're either?
Salim_ ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 05:26:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*your
woahthat ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope they were setting you up for this joke
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you're think?
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:40:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Wintermuteson ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*whom'st'd've
badgertheshit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want this to be real
galacticengine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to be the baron of bad news but idiots like this are a diamond dozen.
tookTHEwrongPILL ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:05:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just that he was late, and missed that lesson.
woahthat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bell went off before he got there
iamiamwhoami ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that actually seems like more of an important issue to me than tardiness.
Azrael11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:06:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think part of it is pushing kids to adhere to a schedule, like they'll have to in the workplace. The consequences are minor in the grand scheme (might not seem so to the kids) but they reinforce the idea that you need to be on time to things you might not really care about.
iamiamwhoami ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:16:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost 30. That's never really been a necessary skill for me.
Lowbacca1977 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:26:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had coworkers get fired for exactly this sort of thing, chronically showing up late
clothespinned ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:51:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then clearly school wasn't accomplishing the job
troll_right_above_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they failed in school
0whodidyousay0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends where you work, my first job didn't mind if I was a few minutes late, if I knew I was gonna be late and let them know, no problem.
Now I have the great displeasure of working in a call centre where they're up your arse if you're a minute late.
MCRatzinger ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:19:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zack Morris?
Cocomorph ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:24:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just argued with myself for several minutes about whether this answer counts as technically not wrong. Surprisingly subtle.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is wrong, unless the school's policy is that you are only late if the bell rings and you have yet to enter the classroom.
Robin_Claassen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you mind explaining the subtlety? To me, the student's answer seems to be clearly and unambiguously incorrect. If the student arrived after the time at which the class was scheduled to start that day, they were late, regardless of when the bell went off relative to the time the student arrived, or if it went off at all.
Saying that the lateness was caused by the bell going off before the student arrived seems like the equivalent of saying that lightning produces light because it also produces thunder. The two are clearly related, but one does not cause the other. Maybe I'm missing something, though.
EDIT: Thinking about this a bit more, I can see some subtlety. If we cut the bell ringing out of the equation, and instead imagine that the student had said something like:
, then it's less immediately clear whether that would be a "technically correct" answer to the question. Clearly, it could be a correct statement on it's own, but it's an intentional misinterpretation of the teacher's intended meaning of the question "why were you late?" (essentially answering a different question than the one that was asked), taking it to mean:
, rather than:
So the question for us then becomes "can we consider a response to a question that treats that question as if it asks something other that what the asker meant to be 'technically correct'?" It's such an abstract question that I don't think whatever answer we decide on matters much, but it does make this a more subtle question than is immediately obvious.
peazey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is. You are right.
Wintermuteson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's wrong. Arriving after the bell rang is not the reason he is late but rather a circumstance that proves that he is late. It would only be correct if the teacher had asked "give me some evidence that you are late"
peazey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I said. Reply to the wrong post?
Edit: Just read his edit. That makes "it's wrong" ambiguous. My bad. I meant it is clearly a wrong answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Robin_Claassen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, by saying "the bell went off before I got here", the student might be saying that they waited until they knew the bell would go off to arrive because the experience to hearing the bell is uncomfortable for them, for example?
Thank you for your reply. I do have to say though, that I found it difficult to understand. I think that I've got a pretty good grip on it now, but I had to read it several times, and look up the word "pragmatics" (which made me realize that your earlier use of the words "pragmatic" and "pragmatically" meant something different than I had initially assumed, and made me wonder if there were any other words you were using in more specialized senses than I had assumed).
I think that the main issue is your use of jargon that I'm not fluent in (though I also found the sentence in the second paragraph beginning with "this opens it up for..." to be confusing). I understand that using jargon can allow you to be more exact, but in contexts in which you can't reasonably assume that the receiver of your message is fluent in the same jargon that you are, you might want to consider sacrificing some of that exactness to help ensure that the basic ideas you're communicating can be understood at all.
Cocomorph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are right. I should have written more clearly, or not at all. Thank you for the feedback.
Robin_Claassen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem! I struggle with a similar issue myself. I think that some of the things I write can be too long and/or convoluted to be easily readable. I sometimes find it hard to make what I write adequately short and straightforward without losing the meaning I want to convey.
CareForOurAdivasis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
......Not really. Quite logical.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:58:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In logical analysis his answer would be completely correct. Premise: if someone arrives after the bell goes off, he is late. Fact: I arrived after the bell went off. Conclusion: I am late, because I arrived after the bell went off. Or alternatively: if asked why I am late, the logical answer is "because the bell went off first."
noisymime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:07:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're answering the wrong question though. The question isn't the equivalent of "Why is the time you arrived at late", it's the equivalent of "What is the reason for your lateness".
The bell was never the reason he was late, it's only an indicator that he is late.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's only one way to interpret the question. The question was not phrased "what is the reason you are late," but "why are you late," and in a logical analysis framework that is a completely correct answer to that question as phrased: you are late because you meet the predefined conditions to be considered late, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
DoxBox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:47:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Someone put your class too far away from my locker."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:21:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher; but I saw this meme once: teacher asks Hispanic student to turn in his essay. Student replies: No ma'am, I won't turn in my ese, cuz I ain't no snitch.
CLearyMcCarthy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:09:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in High School my brother was late to AP English. When confronted his response was: "a wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:50:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, "you should have been here 5 mins ago!" "why, what happened? "
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We're sorry to bother you at such a time like this, Mrs. Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then."
JarekBloodDragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:58:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are the answers I give people all the time.
The type of person people hate to love.
"I don't want to give this smartass attention but god damnit I laughed."
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was the bell's mistake, of course. Why did it have to go off before I reached?
LiterallyCameron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is so perfect, my teachers will kill me !RemindMe 8am
YourWizardPenPal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's relatively amusing.
Dr_Wazzup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin's honest response was "I left home too late."
Yankeeknickfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You seem cool. Say that to the wrong teacher, and you're fucked
its_not_me_ipromise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, I def used this one a lot in middle/high school.
Got in trouble for it and my mom said I need to stop being a smart-ass. I told her that it's better than being a dumb-ass.
kbbajer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:26:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took longer for me to sleep than I'd thought it would.
howboutislapyourshit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That worked for me once. I felt like a smartass for saying it, but the teacher and classed kind of laughed and she let me slide.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've used this a lot of times, even after highschool. I got fired once cuz they asked me why I was "intoxicated" and didn't show up to work. And I just said "Well, I was wasted and didn't go. There's really nothing else to say" And they said "Why did you do it when you knew it would get you in trouble?" And I said "Idk! I did it, and it happened so...what else can I say" and they were like "But you KNEW that wasn't the right thing to do and I said "Yeah I know that, but I did it anyways" Their minds were blown like that I was telling the truth. I told them I'm expecting to get fired but they kept questioning me and I just told them straight up...I got drunk, I fucked up, and that's my story. Do what you will.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:50:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your story supposed to show that this is a good approach or a bad approach?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I mean idk it was just a memory that I wrote about cuz I was drunk when I wrote it
GuruLakshmir ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Why not just call in before your shift starts?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I didn't really care. Everyone has this thing like it's the end of the world if you get fired. Well I honestly hated that job and was happy because that meant I had the next day off and I could go on a hike
Wintermuteson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he may have been drunk
Matt2486 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Take a seat"
Yoshiwaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take it where?
Daltonk01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did he get yelled at
HoTs_DoTs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you used to watch "Saved By The Bell"
HeSaid_Sarcastically ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High School High, anybody?
frozenelf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised teachers would ask for reasons when students would have already volunteered the reason had it been valid.
jackel0792 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually laughed. Have an upvote
Pearl725 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I'd have thought to use that. I always seemed to get stuck behind this weird kid with a rolling backpack who would take his precious fucking time. Didn't even know his name, and he was unavoidable.
silver_4_lyf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rip we don't have bells
henrybddf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using this.
PM_me1bitcoin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite response in school
WaitWhatting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is not even technically correct: the bell does not define time.
The bell could malfuction and not ring: does it mean time has stopped?? Fuck that shit
Wintermuteson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it also doesn't answer the question "why are you late?" it answers the question "what is some evidence that you are late?"
janosrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually, that's the DEFINITION of being late, not the reason why
undead_mau5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know why but I'm bothered deeply by the phrase: The bell "went off" instead of.. the bell "rang".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't explain why he was late but how one might infer that he was late.
Edit: I have valid point. If the bell failed to ring, we wouldn't deny that he was late. Smart ass remarks deserve smart ass replies.
peazey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you are entirely right. The prompt specified "correct answers" and this quip, while amusing, is non-responsive rendering it incorrect. Nobody asked how we knew he was late. He may as well have said "Nostradamus tea raccoons."
Than again, I think we're all just having a chuckle so, meh...
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In logical analysis his answer would be completely correct. Premise: if someone arrives after the bell goes off, he is late. Fact: I arrived after the bell went off. Conclusion: I am late, because I arrived after the bell went off. Or alternatively: if asked why I am late, the logical answer is "because the bell went off first."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
The point of asking why the student was late is not to find proof that they were late but a causal explanation for them missing the start of class, such as absent mindedness or delinquency. This becomes clear when you consider that the question assumes that the student was late.
That is, the student is not being asked to demonstrate the truth of the teacher's assertion, but to recall the events leading up to missing the start of class.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree with you on the teachers intention, but the teacher did not phrase the question as "what is the reason you are late" but simply "why are you late". From a logical analysis perspective you are in the state of being late because you meet the predefined conditions for that state, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question is ambiguous, but it is obvious what the teacher meant. Also, "What is the reason you are late?" could be interpreted exactly the same as "Why are you late?"
However, even if I accepted the premise that the teacher posed the question as if he was asking the student to provide a deductive proof of tardiness, the student would still be wrong.
Bells malfunction and can be set incorrectly. So, unless the school's actual policy is that the ringing of the bell, not the time of day, determines tardiness, the conclusion doesn't follow.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you on that last point, as noted in the premise. But I will note that in many schools that is how it is defined. In my high school, for example, there was a first warning bell that told you to get to class, followed by a second final bell. Teachers were instructed to close their classroom doors once the final bell stopped ringing and record everyone who arrived thereafter as late. The actual clock time did not govern, only the bell.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I has been a while since I've been in a school with period bells. Perhaps most of them have that policy.
But, as a final remark, the "why" in the teacher's question makes it obvious that he isn't looking for proof but explanation. I realize that I have made this point, but I want to reiterate how ridiculous it is to interpret the question that way.
If I went to the store at noon today, then I called in sick to work.
I went to the store at noon today.
So, I called in sick to work.
The above doesn't say why I called in sick, just like the student's answer didn't explain why he was late. I'm not saying that no one could conceivably phrase the question that way, looking for that response, but I am saying that those people do not know how to use words right.
K, I need to stop talking about this for my own sanity.
fork_that ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's the logical answer to why are you considered late. Not to the reason to your being late, but the reason to why you are considered late.
The logical analysis of why they are late must lead back to why their reason for being late. Such as I got held behind in my last class, I got lost, I was too busy chatting to my mates, I was skipping the last class and I left the house 1 minute too late.
PM_ME_PANDA_PICS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
However, the question was not "what is the reason you are late," but "why are you late." From a logical analysis perspective you are in the state of being late because you meet the predefined conditions for that state, namely you arrived after the bell has rung.
EnderVoiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't feel tardy."
SilverVixen1928 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like good lawyer material.
rushmid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fast times at ridgemont high
shadedclan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood this. In high school, if you were late and especially if you come in when they are already teaching, they will actually stop and lecture you for being late. In college, no one really cares.
Hudson3205 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the philosophy major
weightroom711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disappointed I didn't use this in high school. College professors don't give a crap what you do, and there's no bell
AlShapone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could go back to school just so I could use this. To be said with a lack of facial expression or eye contact whilst walking to your desk.
AllThePlayers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to respond with "Would you rather of had me not show up at all?"
Hugh_Jampton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*have
eternally-curious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you said that to the English teacher.
nezumipi ยท 18773 points ยท Posted at 23:01:19 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College professor, teaching developmental psychology. At the end of the semester, I asked all the students to write down the most interesting or important thing they learned. One wrote,** "Babies are stupid and old people still have sex."**
It's not wrong. Kinda covers the life span.
Juliethenerd ยท 3789 points ยท Posted at 01:51:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might have been me
DrBBQ ยท 2548 points ยท Posted at 02:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The stupid baby or the sexy old person?
ArcticKid ยท 2827 points ยท Posted at 02:17:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy elders.
OhSirrah ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 02:36:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I'm wearin nothing at all
cheapbastardo ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:17:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all...
MADDOGCA ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOTHING AT ALL!
Clown_AIDS ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 04:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhhhh, stupid sexy Flanders
spongewardk ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:44:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats cause you are naked you old coot. Put some pants on!
darkcyril ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was that? You're going to have to speak up!
racoon1969 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:21:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shakes skinflaps
MrStevenUniverse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how i like my 3 year olds
el_naked_mariachi ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:29:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid babies need the MOST attention
The_Jesus_Beast ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Flanders
rocknrolla65 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:35:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all Nothing at all
GundhamTanaka1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/RetirementHomeGoneWild
ArcticKid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:24:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No threads here"
Haha thank god...
Zips
Zerotan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:58:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Boom Box is not a toy.
caanthedalek ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:39:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the oldest boner right now
Mc_Squeebs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do the elders gotta be sexy?
CheeseNips1212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy babies.
Off_My_Damn_Lawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb erotic geriatric infants!
grangry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Flanders.
snp3rk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easiest to bang, but godman they are like fine china, the hip tends to break pretty easy.
Dairy_Seinfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rubbin my balls! rubbin my balls! rubbin my balls...!
Tales_of_Earth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really expected this to say "stupid sexy babies." Reddit has really harmed my trust in humanity.
ArcticKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was honestly where I was gonna take it lol.
DebtUpToMyEyeballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
ANiceButWeirdGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Goldblum
elpajaroquemamais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, Helen Mirren
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zerotan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Boom Box is not a toy...
goinunder0390 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wearing nothing at all" just got much much worse
wabernasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons on a mission are always sexy.
wonka001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Homer Simpsons' voice.
Recon_by_Fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL SOMEONE SAID 'SEXY'!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Aww, horny little grandpa."
-Linda Belcher, Bob's Burgers
CortaNalgas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm imagining a guy in skintight Depends waggling his rump at me.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid sexy Flanders*
ArcticKid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
isjoke.jpeg
MrDiddelz ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Stupid sexy Flanders.
FTFY
yourplotneedswork ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the old reddit sex ed-aroo
OptimusTardis ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my stupid baby, I'm going in!
norfnorfport ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:09:11 on March 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one got me good.
JayDCarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:21 on April 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're one of the old people I take it?
iAngeloz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:42:43 on March 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's March 23, 2017. Send help
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:02 on April 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
April 25 here
Insxnity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:47:52 on April 12, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going to click this till I make it to the end and reply this message on every post.
Comment 92
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Snuffy1717 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO FUTURE PEOPLE!!!
There will be water if God wills it.
mermaidincali310 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO!!!
Beat you to it u/future_people ๐
Future_People ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:16:53 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO!!! (and an upvote for you!)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:32 on March 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I come to the future to tell you that we are running out of water.
Future_People ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:11 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HELLO!!!
mealzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One then the other
PM_ME_MARTIAL_ARTS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
PattyLawless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexy babies.
HonorAboveAll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First one, then the other
AmbiguousYes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
PatDude0000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
blackthunder00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sexy old baby
d_smogh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and never ever mix the two together
blablablaudia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't have to be sexy to have sex
DarkLorde117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
off-and-on ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The stupid sexy old baby person.
RazgrizSeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
jtweezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't she be both?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Juliethenerd ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:53:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean this was years ago but I know I put something along those lines on one of my college course evals so maybe it was me
ReachFor24 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:59:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this recent, /u/nezumipi?
TheAdAgency ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:13:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please lay off the sex with stupid babies
Juliethenerd ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:53:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have sex with any babies regardless of their intelligence
Honorable_Sasuke ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows looks are more important anyway
Rvngizswt ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just want to take credit for something funny someone said
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
P2XTPool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course if it's a lie it's a lie, but they would never tell that. Because of the implication
PMyoBEAVERandHOOTERS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does one who relies on the implication still adhere to the DENNIS system?
RINGER4567 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in my defense i was really high
ghettomagicrooster ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 02:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People always act surprised when I say that kids are stupid, but they are dumb as fuck: I mean, it's not a shot at them, they just haven't had enough experience to not be dumb yet.
I find people get even more offended when I say that dogs are dumb, and say stuff like, "not my dog, he's really smart!" Sure he's smart, for a fucking dog. Again, it's not a fault, they're just dumb.
nezumipi ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 02:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During grad school, I had to give cognitive tests to babies and I had absolutely no patience for their lack of object permanence. I'd go, "Where's the ball?" and the kid would give me a dumb look even though I just put it in the cup two seconds ago.
So yeah, I agree.
ifoughtpiranhas ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:59:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this sounds like what i'll do when i die and go to hell
redvelvetlesbian ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:57:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think you may be my developmental psychology professor. Do you kind of look like Ellen DeGeneres?
Psykophobia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:53:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The baby was actually testing you, and signing you off as retarded.
-fno-stack-protector ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:37:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anything a dog can do i can do better. opposable thumbs and tools mfer
ghettomagicrooster ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:57:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly!
And I won't ever intentionally eat shit!
CptSpockCptSpock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:38:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then clearly you aren't as good as the dog at "leave no trace'
And yes, I did open with double quotes and close with single quotes. Bite me
GoPer_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another thing a dog is better at!
Cpt_Matt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can u lick ur balls kekeke
Bagzy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno I'd put my dog above a 4 year old say. My dog will walk beside me unleashed. A 4 year old is off trying to get hit by traffic.
ghettomagicrooster ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:14:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but you're still cleaning shit every day. By 4 years, most kids can at least use the toilet.
Bagzy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:34:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dogs can be taught to shit it specific places. I have relatively large garden and a well fertilized row of bushes at the back.
Jesus_Harry_Christ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Have 4 year old that uses toilet.
magikarpcandosplash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By 4 years I can get my baby brother to stir a bowl of jelly powder and sugar. I cannot teach dogs that.
Thumbs masterrace!
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find your comment shallow and pedantic.
robotzor ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the dog
baseball44121 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:03:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woof Woof
skippygo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf.
jobblejosh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, swear word you then.
itBlimp1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find you zzyvatiger
pm_me_ur_tigbiddies ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:20:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, if we're gonna go that far we might as well just say everyone's dumb. I'm dumb. Youre dumb. He's dumb. Stephen Hawking is a fucking vegetable and he's smarter than all of us, and even he's dumb.
pinksphinx ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:52:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant. Intelligence is relative! Imagine how dumb we look to some super evolved sentient being that is to us as we are to dogs.
But idk. We've like collectively as a species put a man on the moon, and discovered the Big Bang... we've definitely got something going on up there in our head, and the objective evidence points to it being pretty impressive. The Dunning-Kruger effect though...
I'm just waiting for the day I die, and open my eyes in a simulation, only to realize that next level inception shit that I don't have the capacity to describe imaginatively right now.
Disclaimer: I'm a tad baked.
CptSpockCptSpock ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We can tell buddy
quiestqui ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:40:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dog is very, very smart. But he's also a dog. Given opposable thumbs and the ability to speak, sometimes I think he'd take over the world.
But then, he hops onto to the couch with a toy or a ball or whatever and eventually just drops it to the floor. I've seen it happen intentionally and accidentally, but either way, he will, without fail, sit up, look down at the object on the floor, and start barking at it. Like he's angry that Ditka the bear didn't put up more of a fight to stay on the couch and now the dog is yelling at the toy to get back up there.
He's a super energetic dog, has no problem jumping up and down and over the furniture, but now that he's been on the couch for ten seconds, cannot be bothered to hop off and grab whatever he's dropped. So I say, "Franklin, let's be reasonable. You can go down and get it. It's right there. You could have already retrieved it and gotten back on the couch, but instead you've sat here howling for the past minute." And probably due entirely to my calm yet encouraging tone and not my appeal to reason, he will begrudgingly hop off and get his toy and go lie down somewhere he can't drop anything.
OR!
He indicates he wants to go outside, is let out, and comes back in with a treat I assumed was long-ago consumed. Nope, Franklin just buried it. Has he decided it's time to enjoy it? No. He runs around the entire condo until he tires himself out trying to find somewhere new to bury it, crying because there is nowhere inside to bury it.
So yes, dogs are silly. Would not do awesome on the LSAT for a variety of reasons.
sockowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:17 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Husky?
quiestqui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:47 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brittany!
JasonDJ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:39:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude kids continually amaze me.
My son is 6 months old and I was so impressed when he started holding his bottle himself.
Then I changed his diaper and he pissed on his face. So I guess you win some, you lose some.
TheBananaKing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone actually tried teaching a dog to read?
I mean if you had big flashcards with SIT and STAY and C'MERE...
Professor_pranks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my dog though
guy99877 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tells a lot about you if you think your dog is smart...
sonofaresiii ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 03:12:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend gets mad every time I point out our newborn is stupid. In my defense, a few days ago he peed all over himself... then started crying about it. Dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:28:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ImSaltyBoutThat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it annoying??
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Babies. amirite?
camipco ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:45:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ask a similar question. Once I got "if you drop a shot glass down the sink, don't run the garbage disposal."
I couldn't think of anything I had taught them all semester that would be as useful as that.
nezumipi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is...astonishingly good advice. I mean, it won't come up very often, but when it does.
Damnify ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:45:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm not old and don't have any sex, when am I old enough to get to start having sex?!?
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:59:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
28
NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
82
clayRA23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:33:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never.
NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say.
ShockinglyAccurate ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:40:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pumpernickel.
InOPWeTrust ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:39:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
TheresA_LobsterLoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this bull crap?
ForeverAMemebaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
17
baseball44121 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:02:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that's basically the jist of the first year psychology elective I took in university.
NZT-48Rules ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:49:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a TA in developmental psych. I had to hand out and collect those. One student wrote that he learned that 'being a kid sucks and childhood is hell'... Oky doky then...
FramingLeader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid babies need the most attention
Abnmlguru ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of one of my all time favorite Onion articles:
Study Reveals: Babies are Stupid
Isakmannen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooohhh, he said "stupid"!
Chocobolove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Smartteaser192 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be hilarious! Of course! Libido is still there but not as strong as before.
btao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, STDs are a huge problem in old people homes, especially the ones with Alzheimer's.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:01 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching developmental psychology and you find it okay with people thinking babies are stupid? As a developmentalist, I think that's stupid.
nezumipi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:42 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When students start out, they have to first learn how much babies don't know before they can understand how fast babies are learning. For example, a lot of students think infant language acquisition is like second language acquisition. They don't realize that infants don't know where word boundaries are, for example. Or realizing that babies don't know where one object ends and another begins in visual perception. The student was being facetious, but I'm pretty sure s/he was referencing all of those things that it's hard to imagine ever not knowing.
captain_ovaries ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wallace is that you?
TelekineticRape ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brilliant
elbrento133 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
GabrielForth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is stupid in the morning, works at noon and has sex in the evening.
What is it?
wolvAUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I just started learning devpsych at my uni and we're at the learning-about-infancy stage.
BiggZ840 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid babies need the most attention.
Gray-and-old ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I approve
JaBroKnee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Babies are wicked smaht though
MaxRaise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a second, old people still have sex? I thought their virginity just grew back again
Lunatyc84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Dr. Collins?
wubalubadubscrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Physical Chemistry professor in college told us the most important thing we would learn in his class was that "All People Suck". Second most important was "Marry for Money".
LateralThinkerer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:22 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much better than the reverse, wouldn't you agree?
SGT_Chowdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, saved me the three unit Lifespan Development class! XD
imasourgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you teach my university because this is exactly what I got out of developmental psychology
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How in the fuck did you get +10k likes on this comment?
DrivenandDistracted ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoutout! :-)
AyCeeAreyy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:17:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taking this class currently. Will have to use if my prof. Ask me haha
MOzGA ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Babies aren't stupid, they do what they're programmed to do. It's the parents who don't learn to understand them and take care of them who are stupid.
brickmaster32000 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its not just a matter of programming and habits. A babies brain isn't fully developed and therefore some things it just won't be capable off doing.
MOzGA ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you can imagine that calling a baby stupid for its inability to do things it literally can't do- being something considered unreasonable to some of us?
brickmaster32000 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is not unreasonable. I don't fault babies for their inabilities but the fact is they aren't as smart as an adult or are able to form complex thoughts which fits what most people define stupidity as.
Do you think it is wrong if I said a fish is a bad sprinter? Clearly a fish lacks the ability to run but does somehow make the observation that they are bad sprinters incorrect?
MOzGA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you would consider all other animals to be stupid because "They are unable to form complex thoughts" unlike us adult humans?
Fish can't sprint. Why would one even consider calling them stupid for that? It's a fact.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 10:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
urik_heian ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Use Latex if you need cross-referencing.
-Karakui ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh a developmental psychologist on Reddit. I think your subject is bullshit. Good day. But seriously. I had a dev psychology module last term. Pretty much the only thing I learned from it is that I'm now 90% convinced most psychologists who do psychology on babies are just making it up. There was one seminar I remember that was on infants and empathy and they had to define what was classed as "a baby showing empathy" before they did the experiment. Which means the entire results of the experiment could be completely reversed if you just change what you define as "a baby showing empathy"!
Angelajoyo ยท 1217 points ยท Posted at 01:49:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a science task, students had to match the predator to the prey. One kid was matching a robin, and instead of matching it to the worm....he scratched it out and wrote Joker.
IceIsSoNice ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be the other way around?
ScrambledScreams ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 03:43:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, actually, if you're following the Death In The Family arc...
isitmeyou-relooking4 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:42:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, that kid is morbid.
soldiercross ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Jason
Storm137 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
NonaSuomi282 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:54:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he had the bird on the wrong side of the chart, and needed to make a line to a drawn-in crowbar.
Xenochrist999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in one special case it could be Batman.
Coxjl17 ยท 2540 points ยท Posted at 00:49:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to coach basketball and was trying to get the kids into a 2-3 zone. He yelled out to one kid in particular who was in man to man, "what defense are we playing?!"
Kid slaps the floor and says "TOUGH DEFENSE!"
Mikraphonechekka12 ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 04:33:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated to this post, but related to this comment. I was working for a carpentry company framing up houses. I like to say this company was a bootcamp for framers because of the "gung-ho" ,hold nothing back work ethic. Any how, i had an appointment that was very important i arrive on time for and in the florida heat, any excuse to quit early is important. I know it is getting close to my take off time, I ask the foreman "what time is it, matt?" he yells back "its game time baby!!". I lowered my head in defeat and went back to work.
Swashcuckler ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 07:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matt doesn't play around holy shit
ZypherMyth ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:14:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing to the marching band students I teach. Every rehearsal this happens:
Student: What time is it?
Me: Do you have somewhere else you need to be?
Student: No....
Me: Then it's rehearsal time!
memeirou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:41:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't help but picture Cole Train as your foreman and that sounds fantastic
TheRockGiant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, fuck the Florida heat. Can confirm, heat in Florida to a construction worker sucks ass.
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 03:42:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha this is so cute.
pletentious_asshore ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:58:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yea we are.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then your dad yelled "RIGHT ANSWER"
rocker3k ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:39:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why the hell I laughed so hard at this. But thanks. Prob the slapping the floor.
TerrenceTas ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:23:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He grew up to be lebron.
jayman760 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:20:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other team's!
bankrobba ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:43:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid was then recruited by Duke.
tycho_brohey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:30:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated to the general thread, but similar to your comment...
When we first moved to Texas I was about 7. The first time I ordered a steak at a restaurant the waiter asked how I wanted it prepared. I said, "very good, thank you." I just wanted a good steak, didn't know anything about ordering for temps as a young'un. My dad still laughs about it.
AndersonKalista ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a young intern coach, I approve this.
TransitRanger_327 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:34:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might as well convert to Box and 1.
BobcatOU ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:30:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy has coached youth basketball where the other team only has one good player!
TransitRanger_327 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, played youth basketball.
BobcatOU ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha. I did too. I was never the "1" being guarded!
StubbedZo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:23:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never laughed so hard. My office now knows I don't really do anything here but browse reddit
nmotsch789 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:02:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it
BiDo_Boss ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:56:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are 2 types of defense in basketball: one-on-one, and zone defense. The player was doing one-on-one when the plan was to play zone. So the coach tries to remind the player of the plan, asking him: "what defense are we playing?" and the kid thinks the coach is trying to pump him up so he replied "tough defense".
nmotsch789 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:57:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
serversarebusy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The coach was trying to get the players into a zone defense, where each player is assigned a zone or area of the court that they guard. This is in contrast to man to man coverage, where each player is assigned a player on the other team to guard. The kid wasn't playing the same defense as the coach wanted, so coach asks a rhetorical question hoping the kid would remember that he was supposed to play zone defense. Instead he thought coach was trying to hype up the defense.
nmotsch789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
screamingmorgasm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did a sports, but the sports was sub-optimal.
Side note: I have no idea how any of this works
Sir_Toadington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That. Is fucking brilliant. My God
cumuloedipus_complex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future Wojo right there.
Jabbawookiee ยท 9293 points ยท Posted at 01:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach forensic science.
We were going to be using iodine to fume fingerprints. Iodine vapor is no joke, so I terrify the students and use only two volunteers with goggles and respirators at the chemical hood. But, we still all go over the MSDS, PPE, and equipment.
I spent maybe five minutes talking about everything and the chemical hood to my class of thirty. Towards the end,
"So. Someone tell me: what is a hood?"
A hand shoots up.
"Yes, [student]."
"It's, like, the place where you grow up."
I facepalm, the class laughs, and I'm unable to pivot his answer in the moment. (He's on the autism spectrum and wasn't trying to be funny).
[deleted] ยท 4177 points ยท Posted at 02:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SethQ ยท 3580 points ยท Posted at 04:59:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to teach biology/chemistry/AP Bio at the "black high school". She's got dozens of stories like this.
At one point they were doing some reaction that created waste and when asked what to do with the garbage she just gestured to the back of the classroom and said "just throw it in the hood", to which one student replied "typical white response"
JoseElEntrenador ยท 725 points ยท Posted at 05:21:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying. Both of laughter and of sadness.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 13:26:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, I teach and the best laughs I get is making fun of white people. I'm a middle-aged white lady and I'll say, "What, I'm OG!" Or try and dance a little (badly) and say, "I'm just toooo white." Cracks them up.
gibson_mel ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 13:54:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make white jokes and now I get corporate reprimands. I used to work at one of the country's largest organizations where there was a significant number of homosexuals. We used to bust each other up all the time with gay jokes (Gay guy - "Hello Kitty? Now THAT'S gay!"). Alas, those days are now gone due to the political correctness that has taken over.
BrownBirdDiaries ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:15:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, the high schoolers think I'm cool and won't rat me out. ;-) It helps that I know my audience. We're in the South and these guys are really laid back. I worked at an all-black school last year and I wouldn't have dreamed of cracking a joke with them. I've had redneck students say really racist things and looked at the one black kid in class and said, "I'm going to turn my head for a few minutes." Of course I was joking, but I wanted him to know that I understood if he felt angry (to his credit, he just laughed it off) and I did report the kid to the administration.
theshadowwarisreal ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of the people I work with/have worked with were bigoted racists and hated pretty much everyone that wasn't white, (even the minority workers)
I think it was because they saw the worst of the worst of people and generalized it...
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good thing. I can dish it right back at you, probably even better than most because of the "you can't bullshit a bullshiter" thing.
Doesn't mean I enjoy it and that I don't think about quitting every single day because of it and how I could get away with stabbing you on my last day.
We aren't all good in the head, too many people forget that fact.
gibson_mel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:49:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, first off, we were all friends and we liked each other. If you have anger issues, you should go see a therapist before you go postal on your co-workers.
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:50:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said, good thing it is no longer acceptable because people like you are clueless.
ardenthusiast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I concur. That is hilarrible (hilarious and terrible)
TheIronMoose ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 06:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn dude that kid is sharp.
MostlyAngry ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:19:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stop laughing. Too good
willywag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:08:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This joke really should've been in season 4 of The Wire somewhere
h2ogie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:06:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He went to home
its_not_me_ipromise ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:59:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comedy gold* here!
*No actual gold will be given.
Hadalqualities ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated comment of the thread !
notmebutjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats funny, and racist :) 2 points!
[deleted] ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 03:04:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Send_Me__Corgi_Gifs ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 03:06:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, dammit I was hoping I'd never have to see those people again...
IDidIt_Twice ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being from the Chicago area this was the first thing to pop in my mind. He actually lives about 1.5 hours from the city and didn't grow up in the "hood" but I truly hope those kids get life.
NotAngelina ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:43:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:^(
DylanJigglesquirt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/_03QSlEGLec
Uebermut ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:04:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/writingprompts
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 04:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Delitescent_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:10:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
righteo then
Locknlawl ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he's really good at counting how many bullets are fired during a drive by.
VagueSomething ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:26:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could say he does a Sterling job.
Locknlawl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:05:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want Archer references? Because that's how you get Archer references.
META
E
T
A
NanjoQ ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ
jmandell42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsjasonbourne
PairsOfSunglasses ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:53:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit
KalebMW99 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:30:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
r2002 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:16:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That TV show literally writes itself.
An autistic black youth defies all odds and joins the police academy where he meets an ornery forensics science teacher with a deep dark secret who is 2 days from retirement.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:20:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too! Sounds fucking awesome!
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:16:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
south park already did it crips and bloods episode with jimmy and timmmmmmmmmahhhhh
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:55:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's pizza!
preoncollidor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:08:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? It was gingerale and marshmallows.
I mean, come on.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what a great odience.
britt-bot ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never said they were black...
Jabbawookiee ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:43:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is not black.
sjmahoney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! What a fucking degenerate. Someone said 'the hood' as a place to grow up. Must be a black kid.
trashythrow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:45:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the poverty and violence don't get him the federal gov will
samratchet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:04:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Keef did it
Verryfastdoggo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lil Wayne seemed to do just fine.
starwarsi ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:34:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever seen "pimp my wheelchair?"
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:15:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if it turns out he's gay, he's really screwed.
briarformythoughts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:52:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"WHERE DA HOOD, WHERE DA HOOD, WHERE DA HOOD AT?" - DMX
... "So are you inquiring about latitude and longitude under duress, or... metaphorically?"
willworkfordopamine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And get laughed at in forensic science class
Spinnlo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moonlight
youwot1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but you end up Will.I.Am so, y'know, it balances out.
MicMagnetic ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:54:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I smell an oscar...
amd2800barton ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It worked for Tracy Jordan. He won an Oscar for "Hard to Watch"
southsidetrash ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:58:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on the novel "Stone Cold" by Manipulate.
durtysox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Urkel did okay.
ImagineAllTheKarma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Keef has aspergers
2hoodrich4me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:15:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you, it ain't easy.
Thebloodroyal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:29:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume his race?
hellslave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that what "Everybody Hates Chris" was about?
the_kid_from_limbo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:25:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4chan could use him in their weaponized autism program. Turns out he is black too so I wonder which aspect of his would they hate more.
side_hustle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody said he was a 'black youth' :(
NovaKong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:( I didn't either, it was because he said "hood" and my brain jumped to gangsters/gangstas. Sorry.
side_hustle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:37:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just playing!
wantanclan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably as hard as growing up autistic anywhere else.
Predawncarpet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the name of the rapper in Always Sunny?
Youngblood519 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lil Kev?
VageCheese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my experience, urban inner cities have more racial violence and bullying, but not as much special needs hate. You can be in a class where kids are going wild on each other, but sorta lay off the special needs kids. Contrast that with suburban schools, kids would regularly harass special needs kids while driving off in their parents cars.
Dictatorschmitty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:25:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or to grow up with autism and look at bpt? Or listen to rap?
masterpin1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me here
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NovaKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:37 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that was my bad. I guess I figured it'd be harder for a young black person to be black, in a gang and autistic than it would be for a young white person?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chief Keef
SilverVixen1928 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was white.
Yuutsu_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:41 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While not the hood, I live on the rez which is like the Native hood. There's an autistic kid here who's a bit more severe and everyone's nice to him.
NovaKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:54 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's good to know. I've been hearing that stuff from quite a few people actually, so that's really uplifting, thanks!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NovaKong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did! I'm so sorry. :(
MemeLordCameron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:43:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not very hard, you'd fit right in.
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท -34 points ยท Posted at 03:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's one of those white privilege things, innit? You can have even debilitating mental illnesses (not that autism is necessarily debilitating) and still be basically fine.
THIS_SITE_IS_CANCER ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:22:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
-website- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's ableist.
thatdeborahgirl ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 03:41:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What decade are you talking about? Good lord.
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:50:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ialwaysplayblue1101 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:03:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's talking more about the terminology, gangster brings up an image of a 1920's esque mafia while gang member brings up more of the image you generally associate with the inner city.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just curious, what age range are you in, if you don't mind me asking? My mom says the same thing, but that's not at all the case for me. Gangster definitely is associated more with gangs, whereas I think of the 1920s Gangster with words like "mafia" or "mob." I'm curious if it's generational.
LoneWolfe2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gangsters - "Nyah see" and Cigars
Gangstas - Timbs and colored clothing
AxFairy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would think it has more to do with geography than generations
Ialwaysplayblue1101 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not from an older generation, for me it has to do with the way it is used, if you say somebody is gangster or the like than i associate with gangs, but if you call somebody a gangster I associate it with the mafia. It all depends on context which is notoriously hard to determine over the internet/through text.
jpicazo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I was 10, I saw a "gangster" costume in the Party City ad and it was just a guy in a baggy suit and I didn't get what was gangster about it
NovaKong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:20:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh right. GangstA?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
preoncollidor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You really need to be OG to still use the word gangsters.
thatdeborahgirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't think this line of conversation could get any whiter.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:58:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you're working in a fume hood, you're fine. It's not that bad, and it's a great learning tool, because when purple gas comes out of something, o-chem students pay attention.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:11:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:22:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When iodine sublimes, it becomes a purple gas. Bromine is the fun orange gas. Outside of being fully-clothed, wearing goggles, and working in a fume hood, you really don't need anything else. I prefer to wear gloves too, just in case, but more because I've had acid burns (and when I work with iodine, acid is step 2), and they're unpleasant. And staining my skin with iodine was only fun the first couple of times.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:29:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
annmadsar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:38:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between Br2 and I2 has to do with oxidation potential. Bromine is more oxidizing than iodine, so chemically bromine is more versatile, but can be harder to work with, and will react with your body quicker. I would recommend wearing gloves, but never having actually given myself a bromine burn I can't tell you how bad they are.
That being said I have made some questionable lab safety decisions and inhaled some iodine vapors in my day. I'm still alive and don't seem to have any chronic health conditions as a result, so the respirator is complete overkill. I wouldn't in general recommend breathing the stuff in though.
Fireslide ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bromine is not fun, you have to wear pretty thick gloves (like the dishwashing kind) when dealing with it, because that gas is pretty corrosive, it'll eat through pretty much anything given enough time and Nitrile gloves don't offer a lot of protection.
That said, work in a fumehood, that's working and on and with another one that's also working and on nearby, along with regular PPE and you'll be fine. In the exceedingly rare event the fumehood you are in fails then you can put lids on whatever you are using and transfer it to the working fumehood.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:20:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they are in organic lab they are likely using it in small quantities for staining where ventilation procedures aren't really needed, not fuming large quantities like you're doing.
Source: Organic professor who uses iodine in lab class. I never use the hoods for it because it's contained in a small bottle.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For staining, sure, no need for ventilation, iodine is very stable at room temperature, otherwise doctors wouldn't be able to use it for sterilization. But if you're going to heat it up, it needs a hood, which is what I do, and what I believe the fingerprint guy is doing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that was my point.
creatingKing113 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:02:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my school the hood is defined as the place where you toss your beaker if something or someone has royally fucked up with their chemicals.
AccountWasFound ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:40:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically same at my school. Somehow my chem teacher didn't notice that I'd balanced an equation incorrectly in my lab setup, so instead of the reaction releasing hydrogen gas out released chlorine gas (and lots of it), it also took a good 5 minutes for me to realize there was a problem. Yeah the rest of my experiment took place in the fume Hood....
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a fume hood and you also use respirators? That's a bit overkill.
Jabbawookiee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm also a lawyer. I'm very risk-averse when doing labs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. I work with a lot of iodine in my lab, tossing it onto a pyridine compound, and then replacing it with hydroxyl groups, which means burning off a LOT of iodine gas from a solution with that iodide-substituted pyridine compound in high concentration hydrochloric acid. Lots of stuff I wouldn't want to breathe in, but I'm safe with the fume hood.
The_Golden_Image ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works for the DOT, it is extremely rare that I see MSDS and PPE outside of work, and get excited. Thanks
DI0GENES_LAMP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that language. To pivot someone's answer.
Soggy_Biscuit_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:48:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to this but how much of a no joke is iodine vapour? When I was in year 12 (final yr of high school in Australia) in chemistry we were given a hypothesis (I think it was just basic solubility testing), and a bunch of crap like various powdered forms of chemicals, water, Bunsen burner and we had to design and do our own experiment, tabulate results etc etc We had a sub supervising.
One person started to heat the iodine in water above the Bunsen and the chem teacher from next door came in by chance and was like aaaaaah pls stop that asap pls.
GodzillaLikesBoobs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
terrible question. surprised this didnt turn into "the skin that covers the clit"
just a terrible terrible question
Jabbawookiee ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:07:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a small classroom and the hood (portable) was taking up a lot of space. They were all asking about it at the beginning of the lesson, this kid just missed it.
I also teach living environment (biology). I'd be thrilled if they knew basic reproductive anatomy. I grew up Catholic, but I preach safe sex daily.
Mackinz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:05:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am on the autism spectrum, and I would bet he was trying to be funny. I crack jokes like this on the regular.
Jabbawookiee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the optimism, but my guess is you're not as far along the spectrum as he is.
CrazyGrape ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Trust me, kid. Nobody would want to grow up in the hood I'm talking about."
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm shocked that you were working with respirators with people who could possibly not know what a hood is.
Jabbawookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just two and only for the students I trusted to work with the materials. The protocol does not call for respirators. Everyone else had face masks.
Poopnosey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Fisher?
Jabbawookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Negative.
Marrow_lynch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has a 3 hour prac tommorow on fingerprinting you just saved me by reminding me to grab my mask
Thank you
vonlowe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Double glove at least if you're using ninhydrin too - I double gloved and I still got some purple stains on me fingers.
AeroMonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My reaction quickly went from 'haha joker' to 'Awwwwwwh' when I finished reading
rhino43grr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could have followed up by asking them "Where the hood at?" in the most gravely voice you could muster.
-Karakui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So when I was looking up "iodine vapour" the first result google suggested at "iodine va" was "iodine vampire" and now I want to know what an Undead Halogen would be like...
WillieNederWiet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm guilty of this behaviour too, when I graduate I really owe my teachers a bottle of booze.
RaChernobyl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my son was about 2 he was fascinated with cars. So one day we see a fancy car and I was teaching him the car parts.
I said "where's the tire?" And he points to a tire. "Where the steering wheel?" He points to the steering wheel. "Where's the hood?" He points to the sweatshirt hood on his head...
Was pretty funny.
inhale_exhale_repeat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social worker in mental health clinic I had been referred to: What's your street name?
me: I uuum... I don't have one?
Her: I mean where do you live?
Me: oh
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:32:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the third ASD related answer I've seen on this thread. These kids do not help our case.
jaguarlyra ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, I'm fine with it. I did similar things as a kid, so it's not like they are lying.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jaguarlyra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:41:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Autistic myself and although I dislike the functioning level idea am considered by others high functioning. I was rather literal minded as a child and still am, there is nothing wrong with it and children should not have to change even more to please NT's then they already have to. It is already stressful enough working to fit in and get all of the social cues. I belive that many are not doing it purposefully and if they want to fine more the fool of the one that got suckered. People should not be punished for humor that is inoffensive. Also screw the assholes that use Autistic and retard as insults they are not worth speaking to.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agree on all points. I'm still a black and white thinker, though I try to be more naunced. I understand that some kids are jsut hard-wired to think like that, but I'm also somewhat suspicious as I've pulled the ASd card myself when I was younger to get myself out of disciplinary situations. Which is bullshit. But again, that's not saying all ASD kids do that. And I loathe people who use "autistic" or "retarded" as an insult. It shows how naive they are.
UnlikelyToBeEaten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, iodine is dangerous?
We used iodine solution all the time in highschool to test for starch and stuff with no mention of any kind of danger...
Jabbawookiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elemental iodine is a solid that sublimes at room temperature. It can be harmful to your respiratory system. Lugol's iodine solution is different.
UnlikelyToBeEaten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, thanks for that.
LordPerth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only dangerous as a gas
r2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, you are in forensic science. So maybe he thought you were going Training Day on them and decided to drop some street knowledge on them.
Jabbawookiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do teach Street Law... but he doesn't know that.
sam8404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should get my mind out of the gutter...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jabbawookiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in NYC.
o2lsports ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow they're literary geniuses for the world's most obvious Lewis Carrol-Star Wars crossover reference.
SanDanders1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with an iodine solution in biology when I was young, probably like when I was 13 or something and we only had to wear goggles. Is it particularly dangerous. Is it likely I just had a low concentrated solution or something?
Jabbawookiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elemental iodine is a solid. Different from Lugol's iodine solution.
SanDanders1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:25:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh ok thanks
BarryMacochner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my former boss loved to say. we gotta use the MSDS Sheets to look this up .
huh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He might have been trying to be funny. His face may not say it because we often don't emote well.
Jabbawookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand; however, he reports such incidents as bullying.
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always wonder how folks on the spectrum feel when this happens. I was in an upper level undergrad class and half the class was late because of rain. The prof started going "Late" and then "You're late" to people who came in. He escalated it slightly each time finishing with "Late late late late late." The next person who came in, he said "Class?"
We all knew to go "Late late late late late" and just as quickly knew the joke was over. The aspie in class (he 'came out' as part of a project) missed that and started going "Late, etc."
ThexGreatxBeyondx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a CSI class one day and we were discussing methods of field testing to determine if a substance was an illicit drug or not. The instructor asked us, "You're processing a crime scene and come across a whitish, powdery substance. How to you find out what it is?" I was on good terms with this particular instructor so I say, "Snort it and see what it does for you." We all had a good chuckle then got back to work.
Hof354 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true but not in this context all you had to say
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:53 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, we breath that in yesterday! Shitton!
serialmom666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fake: it's SDS not MSDS! Aha!
Jabbawookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made me look that up and now I feel old. Or, rather, that not everyone got the memo.
vonlowe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We still call them MSDS at my uni...
serialmom666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am old. I was using MSDS since the mid '90's. But I had to personally update about 36 books by hand when the system updated to SDS. So I was compelled to bust you, lol.
bobisbit ยท 3262 points ยท Posted at 02:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is intentional, but I teach a foreign language, and so when I introduce the word for "I don't know" I call on a student who typically gets answers wrong, and ask them to translate the word as if (s)he should know it. When the student inevitability responds, "I don't know" I tell them they're right and the look on their face is always priceless.
zray312 ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 11:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when I first started learning Spanish!
We were learning question words and my Spanish teacher asked "What does 'Quรฉ' mean, zray312?" while I wasn't paying attention, and I only heard the "zray312" part so I said "What?" and she was like "Very good!" and just continued on with the lesson.
Hates_escalators ยท 376 points ยท Posted at 03:09:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does idk mean? 'I don't know'.
Nobody seems to know what it means.
rn10950 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 04:06:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's on third. Who's on first?
Pokecrafter88 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:16:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Who's on second. What's on third
AdasMom ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 04:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. I'm telling you, Who's on first, What's on Second, I Don't know is on third.
cryptekz ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:33:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Who's on first?
Hondros ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:40:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct.
baandar ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fella playing first base?
Ed_Finnerty ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:11:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who!
DefectiveSp00n ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:06:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DefectiveSp00n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he's the head coach.
Esotericism_77 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naturally
Sean081799 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:28:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally?
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:32:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's on first, man. What is on second.
OffTheRainbow ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:23:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching TV with my dad on the DIY network. Most of the time he asks me what different things mean because if we both don't know,I'll Google it.
Dad:what does DIY mean? Me:do it yourself. Dad:what does DIY mean? Just Google it... Me : do it yourself.....
Needless to say my dad was angry for a little bit after that
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:40:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid, I walked into the room and asked my mom what movie she was watching. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner". "What? I don't know?! What movie is this?" "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner".
It went on for awhile and I became increasingly exasperated and annoyed that she now wouldn't answer two questions.
gwentissential ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, what does mine say? Sweet! What does mine say? DUDE. WHAT DOES MINE SAY?! SWEET. WHAT DOES MINE SAY?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ray!
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop Googling things for your dad, you are just enabling his technophobia.
LonleyViolist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:34:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had that problem in middle school. Took me a while.
Moronoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:39:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it's provocative
TarvarisJacksonOoooh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOUR WHIP SO COLD!
wttk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's provocative
crnext ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IKR?
_Salix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/meirl
AkirIkasu ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 10:53:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a very short introduction to Mandarin class and the teacher asked me to recite the vowel sounds. I couldn't remember the sound for "ลซ", so I just said "uhhh" and was apparently correct.
Evning ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. The right sounding "uhh" sounds about right.
Iy13n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:24:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't it sound more like a mix between an e, u, and y?
EDIT: forgot that "an" should be used before a vowel
Evning ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:27:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously speaking?
E, u, y
In certain order. I dont think 'a' plays any part in the sound haha.
Think deep throat reverb. More or less
I am a native speaker. Which means i know MUCH less about it than the people who had to sweat embarrassment to learn it XD
ayyyyyyy-its-da-fonz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:41:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh. Gonna need you to demonstrate that.
Evning ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure!
Felt that?
Gyddanar ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:43:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do something similar for phrases to ask people to repeat something.
'Could you say that again' or 'I didn't hear that' for example.
If that's the answer, I'll ask a confident student, and repeat the question as though they'd asked for clarification.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was small one kid that didn't study took a test on English vocabulary. He wrote nose (don't know in spanish is no se) in every place possible. He got one right, the smelling nose.
SanDanders1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about if they say 'not sure'?
bobisbit ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I say something like "come on, take a guess, you know this" and if they do actually guess another word, it's even more funny when the next student answers correctly and they realize how easily they could've gotten it right.
GeorgieWashington ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, when discussing the neck exercise called a "shrug", my younger brother overheard and was unsure of what that exercise is. He asked me, "what's a shrug?" My reply was to literally go
ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Iy13n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:25:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you dropped an arm
entropicdrift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that is why you always leave a note.
LittleBigKid2000 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone post that gif of the guy smelling ass in the dark and saying "Smells like ass" and being told he's correct. I feel that's relevant.
niankaki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol my teacher tried to do the same thing once. I replied with "No idea". I'm sure he's salty to this day about that.
whole_nother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a Hoya?
Jones3787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third base, right?
indian_police ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:08 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This belongs in /r/wholesomememes
-Karakui ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 12:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which language? I love languages that have a single word for "I don't know". It makes it so obvious that English people are so averse to admitting they don't know stuff that they never invented a single word for not knowing.
turningsteel ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:41:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno.
HerpDerpImARedditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'unno.
morbidru ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gone
babaoryan ยท 16239 points ยท Posted at 00:39:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a class that deals with electricity, I asked the students to name a good conductor.
Leonard Bernstein
oceansurferg ยท 655 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a music teacher, this brings me great joy!
BobbyDropTableUsers ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 05:13:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a musician chemist with an appreciation for linguistics as well as multi-tasking, I would have answered
Something Solti
thatchinesedude ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's oddly specific. I love it!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:11:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, are your chemist who is also a musician? Or is there something beautiful that I have never heard of before called musician chemistry?
LonleyViolist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dying
70astralaxe ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finally understood it after reading your reply
Somzer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:59:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But would you appreciate it if you asked the same question and somebody answered "silver"?
MayorBee ยท 2733 points ยท Posted at 02:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's great it starts with an earthquake
wyler17 ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 03:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane
TalkToTheGirl ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 04:01:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lenny Bruce is not afraid
batnastard ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 04:03:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
jkbrock ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World serves its own needs.
Ggoossee ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 04:12:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dummies server there own needs.
chilidog17 ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 04:22:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hslaudjwjsjs IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD
coolco ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Right
FNGPete ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 06:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I don't make films, but if I did, they'd have a samurai!
Lobster_fest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta get a better set of clubs gotta find the kind with tiny nubs so more irons aren't always flying off the back swing.
Zymote ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes That make me think the wrong thing
RusskiEnigma ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:43:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cant help it if i think ur funny when ur mad, tryin hard not to smile cause i feel bad
Nightz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will.
Throwawayjust_incase ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:53:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a history of taking of my shirt
ArtificeAdam ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:46:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S BEEN..
Mal-Capone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least a few days since we've communed.
ArtificeAdam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:13:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taking a relaxed posture, you indicated your current feelings of vindication towards me.
Throwawayjust_incase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple days since you committed an act of violence against me, I have some markings remaining from when you did that.
Yoshiman400 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS LIFE AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH, I--
IT'S BEEN
brad-corp ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
hexane360 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, sometimes you can't tell.
nodorioussmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Du dudu dudu
Da
Du dudu dudu
Da
Da nanananana
Off_My_Damn_Lawn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out. Way to change songs and fuck up the thread!
FNGPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:43 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's Spaghetti!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's do the twist
BorisIHateReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space monkey mafia,
Space monkey mafia,
Space monkey mafia,
TheSwagBag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unexpected Chinese chicken.
graveybrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna get set of clubs, gonna find the kind with tiny nubs.
hexane360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/8D-WVlRohQk
Inocain ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:37:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feed it off an aux speak, grunt, no strength
Zerotan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:02:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ladder start to clatter with a fear of heights
Kichigai ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:32:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
down, height.
Wire in a fire, representing seven games
BaronLazari ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:01:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and a government for hire in a combat site?
Workingusrname ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Left of west and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck...
a_durrrrr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:05:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JELLY BEANS BOOM
ishiplaurensandpeggy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the eye of a hurricane there is quiet, a yellow sky
yarnwhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HERCULES MULLIGAN
WaitForItTheMongols ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:43:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and BILLY JOEL is not afraid...
Throwawayjust_incase ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:57:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haฬถrฬry Trฬumaอขn,ฬ Dorฬดiฬขsอก Dอayอ ,อ ฬขliฬถsฬtอกenฬถ ฬtอกoอ yฬดouฬตrsรจlf cอhฬจuลnอ
Soอuฬธthอ Pอกaฬตcาifiฬธtอล owฬจn nรฉeฬธds,อ ฬธJฬถoฬงeา อ DฬทiMagอ gอioอwn neาeฬdฬจs
SuperTazerBro ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:58:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was waiting for this one and you pulled through for me ๐
WaitForItTheMongols ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy to fulfill your dreams, friend.
Best wishes for your Mouth.
SuperTazerBro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:12:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember to look out, before you get BEES
BeeAreNumberOne ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bees?
MayorBee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mees!
WaitForItTheMongols ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THAT STAND FOR
Awesomeshafter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hip to fuck bees
LeUmoq ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:07:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SPACE
MONKEY
MAFFIA
Yoshiman400 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TODAY DA-DAY DA-DAY DAY DA-DA-DAY DA-DA-DAY DA-DAY
BY NOW NA-NOW NA-NOW NOW NA-NA-NOW NA-NA-NOW NA-NOW
Bruss48 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YEAH BABY YEAH
DOH DOH DOH DOH DOH DOH DOH
nalydpsycho ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
cadet311 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:25:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SomeBODY once told me
CinderGazer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
SandMonsterSays ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
mailman985 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:51:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
RedSkyCrashing ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
k_pan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
ricottapie ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 01:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that is good.
fizzypickles ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:37:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's what I call music
kzg5126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is Leonard Bernstein?
ricottapie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A composer and conductor. He's written a lot of works you'd recognize, like the scores for West Side Story and On The Waterfront. Look him up, he's done so much!
AnAnonymousGamer1994 ยท -101 points ยท Posted at 04:11:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then why wouldn't you just upvote it. Opposed to making an idle remark that does not contribute jack shit?
[deleted] ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 04:22:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then why wouldn't you just downvote it. Opposed to making a snide remark that does not contribute jack shit?
fizzypickles ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 04:36:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that is good.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then why wouldn't you just upvo-- oh wait, nevermind.
AnAnonymousGamer1994 ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 04:41:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First of all. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tu_quoque
Secondly. Because it does contribute shit. I hate that anyone can make an idle exclamation and get lots of attention.
HuggingTheJellyfish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're.. something...
-Avatar-Korra- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you are just one or two words away from /r/IAmVerySmart
Ninja edit: Nevermind, I went further down and found those words.
AnAnonymousGamer1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does not make me wrong.
-Avatar-Korra- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes you an asshole though, but hey, as long as being right is the most important thing to you then feel free to go around complaining about how you are upset about people getting useless internet points.
Problem119V-0800 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:36:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He likely had business commenting, or was compelled to.
ricottapie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:39:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's this wonderful thing I'd like to introduce you to called interaction. You should try it some time, with that scintillating personality of yours.
AnAnonymousGamer1994 ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 04:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not interaction. Interaction requires effort, which this lacks.
Do you think an insightful, thoughtful comment is this bs? Then you're a fuck. Check this shit out
ricottapie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:00:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. My comment was the equivalent of an insipid one word back and forth between two people who share half a brain cell between them.
Feel better? Thanks for the conversation. I wasn't as bored as you were, but I had fun. :)
RoboticScarecrow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God we have you, a one man crusade against inanity! Maybe one day only the most intelligent among us will receive recognition for our thoughts; imbecilic commoners below our intellectual standards will forever be banished, for their words lack substance! Godspeed!
Jesus_Harry_Christ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, just maybe, and bear with me here, maybe, and this is just a guess so there's no need to hold me to it, but it's possible that maybe, maybe they did it BECAUSE THEY FUCKING WANTED TO!. Anymore questions?
ricottapie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually an elaborate but simply executed scheme to lure people who take reddit too seriously out into the open.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now THAT is good.
AnAnonymousGamer1994 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:17:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they wanted to? Whatevsz.
It getting karma? Fuck that.
ImThatGuyToday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Echo with me!
Scoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he clearly isn't. Neither am I. :)
nythnggs4590 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:24:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean Che Guevara is a good resistor?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:53:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Bolivians disagree
mfb- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if the voltage is high enough.
Yes, the resistance of humans depends on the voltage.
KnifeKnut ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:51:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took some hunting, but the correct answer is John Barnes Chance, who died of electrocution. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Barnes_Chance
Zerocyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I've played a few of his pieces. TIL
TheRedditLifeChoseMe ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:58:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other night I dreamt of knives.
Continental drift divide.
Mountains sit in a line.
Leonard Bernstein, Leonid Brezhnev,
Lenny Bruce, and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly beans, boom!
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam book neck, right? Right.
...and I feel fine
PM_ME_FURRY_STUFF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are those the actual words??
TheRedditLifeChoseMe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you count lyrics as words?
PM_ME_FURRY_STUFF ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:35:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...yes?
TheRedditLifeChoseMe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:42:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then yes they are
[deleted] ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 02:30:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Bernstain in this universe.
WhereDidJonGo ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 03:20:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't remind me. The whole Berenstein/Berenstain thing still fucks with me so badly.
EDIT: Spelling
buttaholic ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 03:45:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait til you hear about the one where it's actually "the amazing Spider-Man" instead of "the wonderful spider-boy" I still can't wrap my head around this. The energies have aligned, the universes are colliding.
OneGoodRib ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spider-boy was played by Sinbad, right?
AirshipsAway ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:54:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...what?
Which one is right in your universe?
buttaholic ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wonderful spider-boy. I used to read the comics and watch the cartoon as a kid, and I saw all the sam raimi movies in theater. Now all of a sudden it's the amazing Spider-Man.
ngwoo ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:49:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell no it's the good arachno-kid
cheesepuff3d ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always read the impressive arthopod male
MildlyAgitatedBidoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good bug kid
Beidah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool eight-legged dude was my favorite powerperson.
Tychecks ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:09:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm way too high for this
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:16:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, I think you just have a fucking terrible memory.
buttaholic ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:39:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:02:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, impossible, must be parallel universes. The Berenstain people think this way, why can't I?
ikefalcon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's "Berenstain", not "Bernstain".
wcc445 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:59:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Berenstain Sanders
vitaymin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:09:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jill Stain
infernophil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Berenstain Bears
awesomemanftw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
feel the Bernstain
THE_WHORE_IS_LAVA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The universe has split again!
asphaltdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, now we have Berenstain, Berenstein, Bernstain, and Bernstein.
THE_WHORE_IS_LAVA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:32:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I was sure they were called the Asphaltdragoon Bears when I was a kid...
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you bare it?
Ivan_Joiderpus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not alone.
vAltyR47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, right? It's actually Berenstain.
quinpon64337_x ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:20:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there's a subreddit for this... i can't remember what it is
Quivico ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/mandelaeffect?
quinpon64337_x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah yep
Kravego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's a sub full of people who actually believe the multiverse is touching / different timelines are connecting / other weird pseudoscience bullshit.
Vizari21 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:22:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Mandelaeffect I believe
Zerio920 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called /r/Mendalaeffect in my universe.
LordAres8313 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop, you're hurting my brain!
Pandiosity_24601 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:36:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a Candide response
MrWutFace ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:33:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Updooted for lenny berns, god among men.
death_ship ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:05:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herbert von Karajan*
Taskforce58 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:22:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up listening to his 1961 recording of the Beethoven Symphonies with the Berlin Philharmonic!
death_ship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he is the principal conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic from 1954 to 1989
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh that Radetzky March!
vAltyR47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a funny way to spell "Leopold Stokowski."
death_ship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're trying to spell Claudio Abbado but he's nothing compared to the great Karajan
vAltyR47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karajan and Berlin is one of the great pairs of classical music history, but Stokowski/Philadelphia is definitely up there with him.
It's not a stretch to say Stokowski invented the way American orchestras sound, and through the Curtis Institute of Music, spread that throughout the US. The vast majority of American woodwinds can trace their lineage back to Stokowski's Philadelphia.
dodonutcm ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:42:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far the best answer on this thread
mraider94 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:30:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Casey Jones was a good conductor as well.
AnotherLameHaiku ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he was a conductor but not really a good one.
Dieneforpi ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:01:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you but I'm a much better driver after getting all coked up
LordoftheSynth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine amplifies your personality, so you must have been an excellent driver to begin with.
Conclusion: you're Rain Man.
moleratical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't he save a small toen or something by crashing his train outside of it?
AnotherLameHaiku ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well look at that, you're right. I guess the Grateful Dead aren't the best news source.
moleratical ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And you know that notion, just crossed my mind.
seriously though; The only reason I ever looked up Casey jones all those years ago was because of the Dead.
theplanegeek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and a union scab too (is that how the song goes?)
endercoaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked, and the devil said "oh fine"
Iamthedemoncat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:57:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it the end of the world as we know it?
MeatMeintheMeatus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn that's hilarious
Whisp1207 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a music teacher, this is so delightful to hear.
ButtsexEurope ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:16:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more impressed that they knew who Leonard Bernstein was than the fact that they knew he was a great conductor.
BURN447 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leonard Bernstein is both amazing and terrible. His music is terrible to play, but it sounds amazing
mak095 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:51:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
babaoryan ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:00:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Metals like copper are very good at conducting electricity, meaning electricity flows through copper very easily with little resistance.
Leonard Bernstein was a world renowned music composer and orchestra conductor, who directs the orchestra and sets the tempo of the musical pieces.
Some students were being clever and purposefully wrote Bernstein's name, knowing what answer I was actually looking for. Laughs were had during grading and returning of quizzes.
mak095 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:53:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You da MVP.
Plightz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy names is a conductor, y'know the people who direct the instruments and shit.
IVotedForClayDavis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He knew exactly what he was saying.
Kaiserwulf ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:07:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly agreed, though sometimes he took hardcore liberties with tempo when conducting Mahler. I suppose it's because he thought he "got" Mahler.
601error ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:20:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I realized I was a Bernstein fan when I discovered his Beethoven Symphony 9 (the Berlin Wall one) had the same special sauce as his Mozart Requiem (1989), which has been my favourite album since childhood. Compare, for instance, Bernstein's version of the Sanctus movement to any other recording, and the difference is just incredible. Then start from the first movement and enjoy the whole thing.
Kaiserwulf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a good conductor; I don't deny it. But since I really like Mahler's symphonies, the hubris of his excessively liberal interpretation of the same irks me a bit, especially since he regarded himself as having a special understanding of the composer.
If it was any other composer, though? Yeah, I know I could pick a Bernstein recording and expect real quality.
shiraz410 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't he laid in his coffin with Mahler 3 in his hands? I think Bernstein just really liked Mahler and did what he felt needed to be emphasized kind of like how we dance like freaks when we hear our favorite band/group play. I'm glad he had fun with it but I'm also glad I didn't have to pay a price to see the shows.
But another argument could be made that you can't conduct Mahler the same. His first and sixth symphonies are drastically different because they were written at two different period for Mahler. I really like Bernstein's conducting of Mahler 3 but I prefer Eschenbach's conducting of Mahler 6. Different strokes for different folks.
Elmberg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no better Mahler than with Abaddo and the Lucerne orchestra. Seriously.
G_Mahler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He got it ok...a little too brisk at times.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite answer here.
peacockpizazz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that student got points for being cultured!
meneldal2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he was electrocuted. Didn't think about the other meaning in English. That would still be somewhat funny.
beckyschaff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly more impressive that he knew a musical conductor than if he knew an electricity conductor
HereForTheGang_Bang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is gold.
CoolestCatInCoolTown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Creepy as hell, I was just listening to It's The End Of The World As We Know It when I read this lmao. What are the odds?
Elmberg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahem Carlos Kleiber ahem
bluebluebluered ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I dont buy this
MattTheProgrammer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:51:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer we were looking for of course was john williams
Cocomorph ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Toscanini.
เฒ _เฒ
shiraz410 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gustav Mahler?
Bgaki95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/all_those_angstroms
All_Those_Angstroms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why have you done this.
Casswigirl11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite. I don't even know who that guy is, so the student knows more than me!
JSRambo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the music to West Side Story
Casswigirl11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. So he's also a composer. I liked West Side Story. Maria, Maria!
shiraz410 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he was also regarded as one of the greatest musical conductors of our time.
TubeBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that kid!
Noob_SlayerOP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf, I learned about him today.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
SkyKiwi ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:01:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit I'm back in the Berenstain universe?
TintedMonocle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/mandelaeffect have fun!
Nestorthemolestor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching at Juilliard...
ikefalcon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think Juilliard has any classes about electricity.
shiraz410 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:05:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Than why do they have classes about conducting?
vAltyR47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if you're serious, but "conductor" refers to both "something through which electricity flows easily" and the guy who waves a baton at the front of an orchestra.
OP was teaching an electricity class, so was looking for the first definition, and the student responded with the second definition. Julliard, being a major music school in the US, wouldn't have classes on electrical conducting, but definitely has classes on musical conducting.
Brakethecycle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never wore rubber sole shoes.
stodolak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well they aren't wrong.
AminoJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Band kid?
The_Revhell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this a continuing education class?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a student to name the original compiler for computer
Grace Hopper
ngibelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least they have some good music taste !
In France, if you ask students to name a good "conducteur", they will answer "Sรฉbastien Loeb"
askmypen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Pence would have done just fine.
Pizzaisthebestfood ยท 7218 points ยท Posted at 02:04:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked "what is the moral of the story (the little engine that could) " Answered, "Don't pick up hitch hikers"
To refresh your memory, the engine had trouble getting up the hill because he had taken on several more passengers due to their train breaking down.
Edit: I fell asleep...sorry to all of those who suffered from the missing parenthesis!
Also, the moral: perseverance, believe in yourself, don't give up
Hates_escalators ยท 1123 points ยท Posted at 02:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I've learned anything from TV is that if you pick up a hitchhiker, they're either a murderer, a ghost, or a hoopy frood.
Willyjwade ยท 235 points ยท Posted at 07:43:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex used to pick up hitchhikers all the time and my favorite one got in and instead of saying thanks or anything he immediately said "hey just to put you guys at ease you are statistically a lot more likely to murder me than I am to murder you."
semester5 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 08:59:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh well, lets do another one for statistics then.
mrmindful ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 09:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty good ice-breaker. I'm gonna steal that for my Grindr hook-ups.
drumbeating72 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:29:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time my brother and I picked up a hitchhiker and told him if he tries anything crazy I'll crash the car intentionally and kill us all. He didn't seem too scared.
pkruger82 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually made me burst out laughing! Awesome!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:46:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chewydude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:27 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amateurs.. i use my boot spoon to stab them..
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neat. Where's your towel?
Fight_or_Flight_Club ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:16:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they tend to mistake the dominant species of planets
metalpotato ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:24:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who wouldn't? We are eaten by cars all the time!
Miguelinileugim ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hoopy frood?
Sensorfire ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 06:48:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go get your towel.
Kster809 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is
OECU_CardGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sheesh - you guys are so unhip, it's a wonder your butts don't fall off."
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:26:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/LetsNotMeet taught me well
wibblewafs ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 07:15:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ended up getting picked up by a car once when I was walking down a ruralish road from a busstop a few miles from where I was staying. The woman driving saw me with the suitcase and thought I could use a lift (which I most definitely could, one of the wheels on the suitcase was starting to wear and melt away a bit because of the heat from walking so long in the heat.
I'm not a murderer though, so hopefully I'm a hoopy frood because if I turned out to be a ghost, this would be a really shitty way to find out.
cgibson6 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 07:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit, just close the parenthesis. Why!?
heav94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh way harder than it needed to. LOL
mrmindful ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:14:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a newsroom somewhere that desperately needs you.
Esotericism_77 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:18:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Six hours later and still (no right parenthesis
cgibson6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:00 on July 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 months later. Still (no right parenthesis
uncanneyvalley ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:50:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You dropped this: )
illyad0 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:25:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
Thanks for that!
kelbell000 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:18:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck is a hoopy frood
AlphaMajoris ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 06:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You clearly don't know where your towel is!
boydorn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:30:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A really amazingly together guy.
-Piper- ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go read 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.'
Now.
Hermesschmidt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:35:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, ok. That would explain.
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:06:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you are a murderer. Only way to be safe.
giveyokoachance ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I've learned anything from reading about serial killers, it's that if you pick up a hitchhiker, you're probably going to murder them
arleban ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:14:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if they know where their towel is at.
Tsorovar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:44:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But occasionally they're your ONE TRUE LOVE.
ILovePotALot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:02:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if you wander into a movie you might get head from George Carlin!
FenixthePhoenix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:41:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you're a hitchhiker, the party that picks you up will always be a traveling polka band, or hippies.
102bees ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:28:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first two are worth it for the third one.
shibakevin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sass you.
NukeML ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:17:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I've learned anything from reddit, it's "Today you, tomorrow me."
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Smash, smash, smash!
caw1218 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a hoopy frood???
Hates_escalators ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:25:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who really knows where their towel is.
TominNJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:42:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no. The hitchhiker is a murderee. Your job is to stall and ask stupid questions while the murderee screams "go go go!" until the murderer shows up and kills you.
iamtheshitfuckyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a hoopy frood?
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or victim, don't forget about victim!
littleski5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol a hoopy drops? Wtf is that?
morbidru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gone
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually not true. TV shows do not actually represent reality at all times. Besides, there don't even exist "ghosts" thus your statements is false.
crystalgecko ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:59:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From a logicians point if view, your comment is the false statement:
Jenysis ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 06:14:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love this! Similar to Garak's interpretation of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. "Never tell the same lie twice." God, I'm an insufferable Trekkie...
Lyra136 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:28:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The look on Julians face when Garak says that.
Jenysis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:56:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's time for a rewatch. All Garak centric episodes are the best.
cavedweller333 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 03:37:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
)
4FrSw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:50:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
CaptainNewspeak ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:54:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude spoilers
LordAlnerd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:59:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has never heard the story, what's the real moral of the story?
sciarose ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:19:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you persevere you will achieve your goals.
The main theme is the phrase "i think i can" and the little engine tells that to himself as he climbs the mountain and makes it to the other side.
Eternasphere ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:29:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Despite the fact that he carries the burden of other people's problems
randiraeofsunshine ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's to know your limits and not overwhelm yourself with too much work? I'm not sure though! I've known the story since childhood but I never really considered the moral behind it.
haksli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, don't worry, I am not going to overwhelm myself with too much work. ^^
lukeiamyourpapi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:19:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The missing bracket is giving me anxiety
gafgalron ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:23:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an episode of DS9 where Garak says the moral of the boy of cried wolf is never tell the same lie twice.
merelyadoptedthedark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why he couldn't get up the hill? Oh shit, I always thought it was because he was a little shitty train.
noobengineblog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:03:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gotta move that gear up
aloksteel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHERE IS THE CLOSING BRACKET?
mtnbkr531 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of an old song called the Wreck of the Old 97. Listen to the words. It has a unique moral
Grenyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than any other post in this thread I feel like the answer in this one isn't technically correct.
wackawacka2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I'm so old that I actually had a 45 of that record when I was a little kid. I think l can, I think I can. It's part of me to this day.
housewifeonfridays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*she
anununiquename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the moral of the story?
rexy666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait so what is the moral of the story?
on_island_time ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a parent who has read this story way too many times, I would also argue that the subliminal moral is "Ditch your broken friends", as the poor first train is just left there sitting on the tracks without a backwards glance.
spaghatta111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid is going places. Not college, but places
Batman_00 ยท 16560 points ยท Posted at 23:42:43 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but someone told me this.
'What side of the road do people in France drive on?'
'miss, they drive on both sides.'
orcazebra ยท 1975 points ยท Posted at 02:24:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this reminds me of the time I tried to find an elevator at the Louvre. I found one, but it only went to lower levels, and I was trying to go up a level. I saw some museum employees and asked if they knew where there was an elevator to go up. They took me to this same elevator. I was confused and asked, "but does it go up?"
They were like "Yes, elevators go up and down," rolled their eyes and walked away.
ratedmformacabre ยท 1142 points ยท Posted at 02:35:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Are you just stupid? Am I just stupid? Help me
Edit: this is my top rated comment ever. Fml.
Techun22 ยท 242 points ยท Posted at 02:42:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They wanted to to to a floor higher. They found an elevator that went from their floor to lower floors. They wanted to find an elevator that went to floors above the current floor.
ratedmformacabre ยท 220 points ยท Posted at 02:42:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck kinda elevator... I'm still so confused. No shit? I still don't get it. We're they on the TOP floor or something??
drdinonaut ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 02:49:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a building that has an elevator that only goes between first floor and basement. Op is asking if the elevator goes up to floors above the first floor, but the people interpreted it as asking whether the elevator could travel upwards in general
ratedmformacabre ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 02:50:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHY DID THEY SEND OP TO THE SAME ONE THEN
thinkspacer ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 02:52:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BECAUSE THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION
ratedmformacabre ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 02:53:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU
thinkspacer ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 03:02:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU ARE WELCOME
Korroboro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:41:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME MISCOMMUNICATION HERE, TOO!
KiLlErFiSh369 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THEY FIGURED IT OUT EVENTUALLY
TwoThirteens ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT WE GOT HERE IS FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE..... MAYBE! I'M NOT ACTUALLY SURE AT THIS POINT!
Twistednuke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HUMANS SOMETIMES INADVERTANTLY MISCOMMUNICATE. I KNOW BECAUSE I TOO AM HUMAN = TRUE;
GallbladderGone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BUT DO ELEVATORS GO UP AND DOWN?
ComposedAnarchy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOUD NOISES
octopoddle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PLEASE TURN OFF THE HAIRDRYER
orcazebra ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 10:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM GLAD YOU GUYS WERE ABLE TO WORK THIS OUT TOGETHER
luvmesumchewy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lets all be friends!
luvmesumchewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
Inflatablespider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S TOO LOUD IN HERE, I'M LEAVING.
ThatZenCat ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Museumcomunication
krat0s77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss con lubrication
JamCliche ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHY ARR YOU LOOKING FOR CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE
ratedmformacabre ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:06:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite fucking thing
IM AT SOUP. WHADDAYA MEAN YOURE AT SOUP
SadGhoster87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK YOU
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the elevator they just came from that went down would do exactly as requested, take them up (to where they just came from).
The Louvre is the formal royal palace, the museum is a museum. There are elevators that only go up or down a few floors as they needed to be fitted in near the stairwells that only go up one or two floors.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:58:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
bellenus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
excusez-moi, salop?
TheSrWrangler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:43:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why this has gotten down voted so much. It's completely true. The times I have had to go to France for work is the most frustrating times of my life. If you don't want people saying that about you, just adjust your attitude so you don't come of a rude, sarcastic, unhelpful even when working in a service-profession, frenchmen...
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you need a straight answer in clear English from a Frenchman, just start slaughtering the French language.
Source:Am American, Have needed directions in France.
Edit: The French Language, slaughtering people is not cool.
Vanity_Blade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That seems similar to "If you want the answer to a question on the Internet, don't ask your question, just give out the wrong answer."
YouProbablySmell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You Americans and your guns.
skipdip2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:09:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just don't like assholes, thats all.
TheSrWrangler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I definitely see how asking a waiter for a menu, a hotel receptionist for directions to transportation etc makes a person an asshole. Poor sobs, who have to talk to people paying them..
edit I have to say, I fail to see how this asshole-behavior of mine, when I travel, always seems to be considered nice behavior in Netherlands, England, Greece and Germany. But of course, the french know best....
skipdip2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you expect to be treated in a certain way just because you are a customer, there are many places in the world you really shouldn't go to. France is one of them. Buy your nice behavior someplace else.
The fact that you fail to find out basic facts about a place you're about to visit is the at the very core of assholism.
schlubadubdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL smiling, saying hello, and asking politely for something (menu, train ticket, sandwich etc) in the local language makes me an arsehole.
lllGreyfoxlll ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 02:51:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's it :)
Say he's on G/F and the elevator goes to B1 and B2. OP asks about an elevator and when a staff member points at the one he just tried, knowing that it doesn't go any higher, he asks "but does it go upwards ?" and they smartassly reply "well that's an elevator, dude, of course it does" ignoring the fact that it won't go any higher than this floor.
preoncollidor ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 07:56:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, older buildings often have elevators that only go up to a certain floor. There were safety/engineering concerns for elevators that had to span many floors and also often additional floors could be added which an older elevator from before the renovation wouldn't cover.
quantummidget ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 09:14:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some elevators in newer buildings have no floor cap, and can keep going forever. That's how people get to the ISS
preoncollidor ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 09:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've been reading too much Willy Wonka.
quantummidget ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 09:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You fucking got me, I was thinking about exactly that as I wrote it
iamthinking2202 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Even fits in four beds
logicalmaniak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear the Knids are exceptionally vermicious this time of year.
Twistednuke ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Elon Musk.
Burning_Kobun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:42:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're confusing elevators with wonkavators
FlagstoneSpin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:25:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some legends say that they are still going up to this very day.
YM_Industries ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even some newer buildings do, depending on the layout. Common in large, sprawling buildings like shopping centres and hospitals.
Yabbaba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Louvre. They have modern elevators there.
preoncollidor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, and I'm sure the over 200 year old historical landmark had extensive work done to extend the elevator shafts which is what is actually important here, ignoring that it is a huge building of varying height...
Yabbaba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Paris. I've been to the Louvre countless times. The elevators OP is talking about are not in the older parts of the museum - there are no elevators in the older parts of the museum.
Ninja edit: besides, the older parts of the Louvre are not very high. Two or three floors tops.
Iphotoshopincats ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:17:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are making a joke right or did you misread comment?
SinkTube ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he's a redditor, i find that unlikely
Nymaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, there's a couple of mobile apps, so it's easy to reddit while on G/F.
El_Frijol ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so let's try this explanation:
You drive into an underground parking structure. It has three underground floors. Each floor has an elevator that goes up to the first floor which is the lobby.
Now that you've taken the parking structure elevator up to the lobby there are no more elevators that go up the the 2nd floor, 3rd floor, etc...of the main museum building.
So the OP asked them where the elevators go up, but they showed him the elevators that go down to the parking structure (they also go up too)
simplequark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:46:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Louvre is crazily huge, and the structures making up the complex both underground and above have been built over the course of several centuries, whereas elevators are a fairly recent thing.
So, my guess is that when they added those, there were many places where they couldn't make them go all the way up or down for structural reasons (the building wasn't planned with elevators in mind). Instead each may only connect a subset of the floors, and if you want to go all the way from the cellar to the top you might have to change one or two times in between.
The elevator the poster was talking about happened to be one that did not go any higher than the floor they were on, although there probably was another one somewhere else that did go higher.
dochdaswars ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many big buildings with heavy elevator traffic have elevators which only stop on specific floors. This prevents them from becoming immediately full when one arrives at the lobby because not everyone is waiting to get in the same elevator and instead they queue up around the specific elevator they need.
The employees were just being smartasses.
burlal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want you to follow me around so you can ask all the same questions I would.
aero_nerdette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a 9-level building with a tiered structure. Some elevators would go to all the floors, some from 3-9, some 6-8, and some 7-9. It was confusing as hell.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've stayed in a hotel where I had to take an elevator to get to the hotel on the third floor and that was as high as that elevator went but there was another set of elevators off to the right that would only to go floors 4-however many floors there were. But I wasn't able to get to street level or the parking area with the elevators.
dedasdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many tall buildings often dont have one elvator that goes all the way down. even if they do have it is reserved for the penthouse usually.
Rikolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The louvre isn't a tall building, or a penthouse
alienpirate5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Norwegr ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all stupid on this blessed day :)
LordValdis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty easy once you get it: He was in front of an elevator that connects say Ground floor and basement. He wanted to know if there is an elevator to floor 1 (above ground floor).
Norwegr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I actually got it. I just wanted to be a part of something :)
Kichigai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself!
Norwegr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:50:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm all stupid on this blessed day :)
postingstuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were all stupid on this holiest of days.
quigleyupunder3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to write this to you personally. Sleeping soundly at 3am this morning, my kid comes in says, he's scared, I put him back to bed after a while...by now I'm completely awake at 3:45. Redditing ensues and I come across your response...and have no idea why it struck me as so funny, but I launch into hysterical laughter, and it didn't stop for a good 45 minutes, even after I put the phone down...kept on crying laughing, stomach hurt, tears rolling out of my eyes. Thank you for that, hadn't laughed like that in about a year. My husband was pissed....oh well, worth it. I guess I could imagine me writing or saying the same exact thing to the previous story.
ratedmformacabre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me so happy I am very glad I made you laugh a good hearty laugh. That's the best thing I could've woken up to.
platinumsombro ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a thought:
The French are stupid.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 09:24:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
Source: am British. Bloody French.
Hadalqualities ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup.
Source : Am French.
SeansGodly ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 08:46:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oui
Source: am French
PurettsuEru ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:20:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I approve. Source : Am French.
steve_2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naaaah, they are not stupid, just snotty.
leonbed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its probably because they didnt convey what they wanted very clearly.
Misschief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am assuming that that particular elevator's highest floor was the one he/she was currently on. It did not span the whole building.
awkward_quasar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It goes down, then comes back up, just [not] as far up as OP would like.
elpajaroquemamais ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:18:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*not as far
beardlessclamlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i feel the same
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
elevators go up and down man. its not hard.
CocaTrooper42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some elevators have a range of floors that does not reach the whole building. Let's say op was on floor 5. The only elevators Op could find went from the ground floor to floor five. Op was looking for an elevator that could take her higher than 5 and the guard mistook this request as if Op was asking if elevators go both ways.
LouSputhole94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the elevator he was trying to use only went up to a specific floor. He was trying to find one that went higher. But he didn't explain that well to the museum staff and they just thought he was stupid and didn't know elevators go up and down
spencebah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elevators go up. This one had to have gone up from the floor(s) below to be able to then go down. It just doesn't go up any further.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elevators go up and down.
Kaell311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wanted to go up higher than the current floor. This elevator only went up and down to floors lower than the current one.
littleski5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The employees are stupid
Imamoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To go down, it must first go up
Jakedxn3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The elevator could go to the lower levels and go back up
BuckeyeRunner ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:35:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this reminds me of the sideways stories of wayside school books by louis sachar. the book takes place in an oddball school and there are many mishaps and whatnot, but at one point there was a chapter where the nutty principal wanted elevators (because the school was 30 stores high), but didn't want confusion as to which elevator to take. so there was an UP elevator and a DOWN elevator.. they only worked once.
stooduponce ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote because you reminded me of that book. Which I hadn't read or even remembered existed for at least 10 years. Now all the individual stories of all the kids in that book are flooding back.
republiccommando1138 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded
paralog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:40:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also asked people stay to the right when going up the stairs, and to the left when going down. That way students wouldn't bump into one another.
jakielim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:34:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So they installed paternoster?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:55:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen in NYC. I was in a choir performing at Carnegie Hall and was running late for out first rehearsal there, and didn't know the directions. Spent 20 minutes getting the answer "Practice, practice, practice."
rickane58 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:50:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another story from the Louvre. My brother got lost trying to find a specific section. He approached an employee with the guide and asked them "Do you know where we are" as in on the guide. The employee simply answered "We are in ze Louvre!" and walked away.
Ascended_Sleeper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:00:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is so fucking hard to talk to French people about elevators. I have no idea what it is. It's not the language. It's not like it's hard to provide clear answers about elevators, or discern the meaning of questions about them, in French. I've even had totally intelligible discussions about elevators in French with several Haitians, a Russian, and an Algerian. Yet when I'm talking to a French person and try to ask or answer a totally fucking simple question about elevators, it's like I'm talking to a damn pod person who's neither heard of an elevator nor had a conversation with a real earth human before.
"Can I take this elevator to the garage?"
"MANY HUMAN MATTER TRANSPORT SYSTEMS ARE INTERCONNECTED, AS YOU KNOW FELLOW HUMAN. MY BERET IS A HAT. IF YOU DRIVE IN YOUR CAR TO THE SKY IT IS AN AIRPLANE NOT AN ELEVATOR."
anweisz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once in an Iberia flight they had these weird socks together with the blankets and pillows. We didn't know why they would give us socks so a girl from the group asked the flight attendant "Excuse me, what are these socks for?" And the attendant, in the most sarcastic tone, said "To put them in your head obviously! Try and see if they fit!" And stormed off, as if to say obviously they're for the feet you moron.
pringlesaremyfav ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Elevator, play Kenny Loggins greatest hits"
xgoldeneaglex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Elevator, do mole people exist?"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:09:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to unsubscribe from the Danger-Zone-Only Playlist"
Scarletfapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:35:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could totally see that in a Petit Journal skit...
VesilahdenVerajilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French people can be a bit assholish in this situations. One time we where traveling in TGV from south France to Paris when my brothers wanted to have a smoke. So they asked an employee if there was a smoking allowed coach. He told them "no, but you can smoke in the terrace". My sister was stupid enough to ask where the terrace was.
BuildAWallWorkshop ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:54:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French are the most sarcastic people I've ever met.
Junglepuker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I got lost in the Frankfurt Bahnhof for like an hour with that shizzle.
benz0fury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in this instance, you take the stairs
Osumsumo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:38:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The French are rude douchebags especially to tourists.
jrhoffa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:49:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking French people
WASPandNOTsorry ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 07:58:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you imagine that the elevator gets back up? Or did you imagine that it's a one-use elevator? Were you drunk?
Slanderous ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:30:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously elevators go up and down, but some only cover sections of the building's floors. OP wanted to go further up than that particular elevator went.
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 4353 points ยท Posted at 02:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"They drive on the right side"
Technically correct everywhere.
FriendlyCows ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 02:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens when someone drives on the wrong side of the road? You are no longer correct.
Hotshot55 ยท 357 points ยท Posted at 02:45:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They'd still be on the right side of the road.
TheMy5teryMan ยท 220 points ยท Posted at 02:47:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
found the brit
Hotshot55 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:49:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You thought.
probablyhrenrai ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:08:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Australian?
SamJakes ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:29:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be Japanese or Indian
samsg1 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Kiwi
jacluley ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:40:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jamaican, too, right? I'm lazy, not looking it up.
gamesbeawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep: https://www.quora.com/On-what-side-of-the-road-do-people-drive-on-in-Jamaica
Jordaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could even be American, the US Virgin Islands drive on the Left
ShenBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Maltese
3_Thumbs_Up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Kenyan. Or Thai.
Burgess237 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:40:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTa5JHMzwLFWTe1GybtfmoJA_kJcmYRwzTRIr00NlcRQbICggGdnTxoa4rQ
There's a map of what side of the road everyone drives on.
acomputer1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tmw you realise you're to driving what the US is to systems of measurement.
wootlesthegoat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the kiwi, Japanese, Aussie, etcml
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Maggoats ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You whooshed, mate.
walesmd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've found San Antonio!
LaggyLefty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All you had to do is follow the damn train, CJ
moleratical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, I mean they are literally doing it wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except cities in Italy where all the streets are One-way.
o11c ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of countries only ever drive on "the side with less potholes", regardless of what's "right".
kirbyfreek33 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:29:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While on exchange in NZ people asked me (American) about what side of the road we drive on, and after the first few bits of confusion I now say "right-hand side" every time now, even when talking to Americans, as long as "right"could be misinterpreted as correct, but not the right-hand direction... I overthink things sometimes.
Rainarrow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean technically RIGHT
catpet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said to a taxi driver in England that it felt weird riding in cars there, because at home we drive on the right side of the road. "No, you drive in the wrong side" Fun guy.
Twinkie454 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of correct.
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:10:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in the UK. They drive on the wrong side
-Jason-B- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just the U.K., BTW, but also other places such as the countries of Oceania/South-Eastern Asia, India, South Africa (not just the country, but the southern area of Africa in general), Japan, and some South American countries (which I think are/were French territories, IIRC).
FactuallyInadequate ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:29:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much most of the commonwealth drive on the left. The reason it changed at all was because American's started driving on their right in order to shoot bandits while also continuing to drive.
mrmindful ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:35:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall reading that driving on the left originated in a similar fashion. Men on horseback would keep to the left because their right arms were usually stronger, so in the event of a jousting / sword battle, they felt more confident striking a opponent to their right.
-Jason-B- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty neat little tid-bit. I'm guessing it's the same for Canada then? Because, IIRC, Canada is a part of the Commonwealth of Nations.
But then again, they're too nice to shoot anyone, or to have bandits. /s
bobanislahey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We drive on the right side. So do the moose. Can confirm
mrmindful ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada has made some funny choices. They drive on the right so they can share road habits and vehicles with Americans (smart). But then they decide to go with kilometers.
Ararat00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:24:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well when Canada went metric back in the 70s the US was also starting the conversion process. They just backed out for some reason.
mrmindful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes you're right. Makes much more sense now. Thank you comrade!
Luno70 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:05:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't left hand driving a reminiscence from old times when it was favorable to have your sword hand and sword closest to the opposing traffic?
CheesosaurusRex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never met my grandmother
imdungrowinup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't been to my country yet I figure.
jtj-H ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The steering wheel is on the right side because we drive on the right side of the road.
imnotcreative_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right side of the road is the right side of the road. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn commie.
NotSuspicious_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"They drive on the top" Is also technically correct everywhere
Wankelman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically correct. The best kind of correct.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Hanoi every side is the right side.
bluejaunte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The top" also works
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
correct in every sense.
The right side could be interpreted 2 ways
The physical right part of the road.
Or the right (justified) side and thereby the correct side.
you're always right this way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You apparently have never been to Austin, TX.
jvjanisse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They drive on the top side.
TheDerpyAxolotl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot about the drunk drivers.
Kaell311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except outside a bar.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in Britain. In Britain they drive on the wrong side.
infinitewowbagger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct side.
But seriously. Driving on the left is much safer. Regardless of whether you're in a RHD or LHD car.
maaku7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...why? There's full symmetry here.
infinitewowbagger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people are right hand and right eye dominant. Having that side to the centre and that hand on the wheel means better control and response to incidents
Luno70 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your right eye is connected to your left brain hemisphere where logical processing takes place. I'd rather drive on the left side using my right eye than using my right hemisphere that takes care of emotional responses.
infinitewowbagger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only really relevant if you've had your corpus callosum severed
breadfan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha was just about to post this pretty much verbatim.
Luno70 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:41:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there is an eye preference regardless, even if it is much less with the corpus callosum intact. A study was conducted amongst teachers and the students situated corresponding to the teachers emotional left eye and right hemisphere were described more affectionately than students on the other side of class. Also remembering math class, where the good students sit on the left side of the classroom reading from the blackboard with their left hemisphere (right eye).
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a myth originating from bad science btw. Many people do have regions, even entire hemispheres of the brain that specialize, but exactly how that happens is highly individual. The "left brain logical" idea came from small sample sizes and poor methodology.
Luno70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know that the hemispheres wasn't that specialized afterall. What about the experiments with people with sewered corpus columna? The fact that they can only verbalize the name of objects they hold in their right hand and things grasped with the left hand they can only describe how they feel about that object (if I remember that right)?
maaku7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Areas of specialization largely vary from person-to-person. Those maps of the brain showing certain regions areas or sides having certain functionality are mostly bogus in the details in the sense that if you match it up to your brain it won't lineup at all. But they were constructed from someone somewhere's actual brain. Make sense?
Renegradenick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically right everywhere **
mailman985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
tedkpagonis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a 30 year old man, I'm totally missing this joke.
Exxmorphing ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:49:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're in the US. You're driving on the right side of the road.
Look to your left. Are there not cars driving to your left?
tedkpagonis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, clever.
divv ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The top!
cambiro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People going to Paris drive to their right, and people getting out of Paris drive to their left.
woahthat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldnt they crash
lurgi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to France. This is absolutely correct.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither they drive on the top
Kobrag90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having traveled in France, this is true and far more terrifying than the sentence implies
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he's not wrong, in fact his version may be the correct one
OozeNAahz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer of course is the top side. You see anyone trying drive on the bottom side or the inside they are obviously doing it wrong.
GowronDidNothngWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Italy would like a word.
_mishka_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in France for 18 months. Can confirm.
Dibs10001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher resigned
dichloroethane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The side facing up?
KillerBoootsMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puck you miss!
_buttpuppet_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats actually really funny
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when I was in school, and my teacher asked what side of the road we drive on in Australia (I went to school in another country).
I was honestly confused and told her I didn't know.
'Well how do you know which way to look when you cross the road then?'
To which I replied, 'I look both ways'
She thought for a moment and then laughed and was like, 'yeah that's fair enough'
Ask_me_about_my_pug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OTHERWISE THAT WOULD BE JUST POOR INFRASTRUCTURE PLANNING, LANA.
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to France. Yeah, they do.
OctopusSanta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in high school, our sophomore year French class was considerably more difficult than the previous year, and the teacher was much more motivated. The first day, she ended the class by explaining the homework in French, and finishing by telling us "c'est facile". My entire class said "facile" and stared blankly at her, having no idea what she'd said up to that point. She then said "oui, c'est facile", and again the class said "facile".
This happened 3 or 4 times before she realized what was happening.
Gorgenapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I fly first class, I'll get to my destination faster!
armahillo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"they drive on the top-side"
Lowbacca1977 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:31:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To break the ice when I was a chaparone for an elementary school group going to JPL (basically west coast NASA), I asked one of the people that drove the rovers what side they drove on at Mars.
NinjaDucky9 ยท 9323 points ยท Posted at 01:13:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher but witnessed this in class:
Sociology Prof: "Why do you conform?"
Student: "It has always been my goal in life to blend in."
Soc Prof: "No more questions for you."
c3534l ยท 2366 points ยท Posted at 03:20:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a strange acquaintance I have. A reporter once asked him (as your typical man-on-the-street average-Joe) what he thought of the Catholic sex abuse scandal and he said "if God ordains it, it must be done, even if it's molesting children."
JCY2K ยท 673 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a philosophical dilemma that dates back to Plato.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthyphro_dilemma
WannieTheSane ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 05:32:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Philosophy professor taught us Euthyphro by drawing a picture of a handsome dude in a toga and underneath it wrote:
American Idols: are they idolised because they are great, or are they great because they are idolised.
It's stuck with me over a decade later.
He was a pretty awesome prof actually. He also told us about the bike he had when he was younger that kept breaking. He kept replacing parts and replacing parts then he suddenly thought "I had a bike, but if I've slowly replaced every part, is this the same bike or a new bike now!?" It blew his mind, and then he went to University, took intro to Philosophy and learned of the Ship of Theseus.
eastballz ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 10:56:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The next twist is, if you took all the replaced parts and built another bike, which one would be the original?
mrneo240 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 14:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Now instead of selling cars I'm just stuck thinking and all these ponderings
xorgol ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The one with the original frame. I think this paradox works better with an axe, or indeed a ship. Nobody replaces a bike's frame, as far as I'm concerned the frame is the bike. Of course it doesn't work without the other components, but it's a bit like a computer not working without a power supply.
entropicdrift ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:49:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As the builder of several parts-computers, I consider the motherboard/CPU combo to define the computer, mainly because those are the parts that Windows registers and if you replace one or both of them you need a new Windows registration.
That said, it's a fun thought exercise. I like to think of every iteration of an idea as a new whole, but the truth is that reality makes no such distinctions and that's why our system of definitions are so limited. In programming terms, we're using an object oriented perspective, but the world is written in machine code.
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Needing a new Windows registration is a fun thought experiment :D
entropicdrift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, only if you make money by thinking
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, by not paying.
The_quest_for_wisdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone who cracked their (very expensive and brand new) bike frame. The frame was replaced under warranty with an exact duplicate, using all the other parts of the bike. But I will concede that usually no one replaces the frame.
82Caff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prototype at the factory. Everything else is just a copy.
GreatNegotiator ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 08:02:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I had a bike, but if I've slowly replaced every part, is this the same bike or a new bike now!?"
According to many cities building code law that as long as a portion of a building remains original (it depends on the amount which depends on the code) then it is isn't a new building. That is why often buildings that are old near borders or property or of a certain height will have all, but a small portion replaced.
So according to that it would be the old bike as long as it retains at least one original part.
To answer the question IMO it is neither the same bike nor a new bike, but a different bike.
YorkshireAlex24 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:41:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, if we treat humans that way, aren't we several different people in our lifetime? Given how often cells die and are replaced
dtreth ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:31:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, but is it your physical body or your mind that makes you a "people"?
gel_ink ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either way, the human mind changes too.
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I am a completely different person than I was a few years ago. I may even treat that person as a seperate one. So I am 1 year old, mentally.
BenSz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think after seven years or so, every cell in your body will have been replaced. Also, I felt most drastic changes in physiology and psychology around seven year intervals. I mostly feel older than seven because lack of sports, but often behave like a seven year old ๐
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mind is part of your physical body.
eljacko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brain cells, however, do not replace themselves as other cells do.
dtreth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:36 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Myth: http://www.webmd.com/brain/news/20000306/get-smart-brain-cells-do-regrow-study-confirms
dtreth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:21 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it?
Qui-Gon-Whiskey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:33 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
greenphilly420 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:15:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
KaiChymist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that if we do so there wouldn't be people. Cells die and are made every day at such a rate that you would be constantly changing, so if you think about it that way you're just a consciousness attached to an ever changing organic mass.
However since we always feel like our body is just the one we've always had, its easier to associate it the way we do. Especially since the actions of the past effect the future of your body even if the cells are new.
FerricNitrate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite--some cells divide and are replaced very rapidly (e.g. skin, GI tract linings) whereas others almost never divide and are rarely replaced (e.g. neurons, cardiac muscle). It's more like a lizard shedding skin and regenerating broken limbs than a true Ship of Theseus scenario.
pete904ni ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triggers broom
https://youtu.be/BUl6PooveJE
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schrรถdinger's bike.
YJCH0I ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:36:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ship of Theseus, I think
Biomirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know that it's wise to answer philosophical questions by defaulting to building codes. I think it's supposed to work the other way around though, sometimes.
IMNSHO, the point isn't to answer the question definitively (unless you have to do so for some legal or building code reason), but to realize some of the problems of identity that are both arbitrary and necessary.
Naming something doesn't make it so. It doesn't make it a something, nor does it actually bind the name to the thing(s) so named.
SlaughterhouseIce9 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A familiar concept for any owner of an AR-15.
confirmd_am_engineer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Gat of Theseus
usernumber36 ยท 299 points ยท Posted at 05:18:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's only a dilemma if you're religious.
If you answer that "fuck no - it's molesting children. I don't care who says to do it, morality isn't conditioned on an authority's whim. It's conditioned on the reality of the situation and what that situation entails"
you're in the clear. No problem at all with that response.
BackslidingAlt ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 05:35:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gets you out of the dilemma but it returns you to Socrates' original question to Euthyphro, "What is virtue?"
In the dialogue, Euthyphro didn't have a good answer so he said "Virtue is what the gods love" and Socrates shot back with the dilemma to show him that was a nonanswer, but answering that with "Fine, virtue has nothing to do with the gods" is still a nonanswer to Socrates' important question.
The_Fod ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 09:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's got electrolytes?
zelyfis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrolytes, turbolytes, powerlytes!
mickchaaya ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 06:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
virtue is a set of rules that exist for the betterment of society, sometimes at the cost of the person submitting to the rules. it is purely a human construct.
well, thats my answer anyway
BackslidingAlt ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 06:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So (If you will permit me to keep playing Socrates) to be virtuous is to conform to the constructed expectations of your city? Isn't it possible that the rules your city constructed for you to follow are wicked?
Perhaps, they could result in an innocent philosopher being forced to drink hemlock...
Spank86 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:38:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, Sodom.
2rapey4you ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:07:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah. home sweet home
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant usernames, the both of you.
fwipyok ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:21:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, he wasn't forced, he did literally chose to drink it himself
and just before passing out, reminded them that we own a chicken as sacrifice to asclepius, as a thank you for being cured with the hemlock
which basically said "thank the fuck zeus, i finally got rid of you all, i'm finally cured"
BackslidingAlt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, Phaedo was about the immortality of the soul, so Plato casts him as being reasonably nonplussed about his own death. Still not Good what the Athenian court did though. The failure of Athens was a central theme all through Plato's works.
fwipyok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:17:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and they did prove him correct, in the end :D
BackslidingAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what you mean. Athens proved Socrates correct? You mean by failing as a city-state just like he said they would?
fwipyok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much, yes
adamd22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would have been forced if he had not chosen to drink it.
Oshojabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't even have to come to that point, though. In the Greek court system, after conviction the prosecutor and defendant both propose a punishment and the jury decides which to use.
The prosecutor proposed death, and Socrates initially proposed that he be "punished" with free meals from the Prytaneum for the rest of his life. He was eventually talked down to proposing a hefty fine, but I'm sure he didn't win any good will from the jury that only convicted him by a narrow majority in the first place.
Socrates could have lived had he started by proposing a reasonable punishment, instead of mocking the proceedings by proposing a reward as a "punishment." He committed suicide, he wasn't a martyr.
adamd22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know much about the topic but I don't really think he did that to himself. If he was initially given death as a punishment, I don't think there's much to be done against that. What else would he have suggested other than fines? If a jury is so adamant to suggest death over simple fines, I feel like death would have happened anyway
I think he was a martyr. He was an intellectual to the people of Greece, encouraging free-thought and argumentative dialogue. He was killed for his beliefs and kept them til the end. I don't know whether or not Plato ever says anything about the reaction of Greece in general to his death, but he's still a martyr.
Oshojabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:05 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The prosecutor proposed death, not the jury.
Plato says Socrates was only narrowly convicted in the first place (the jury was around 500 people, and he says 30 votes made the difference), but when it came to choosing death we are told that there were 281 more votes for that punishment than there were for his conviction. I honestly believe that if Socrates had wanted to, he could have swayed 30 people to his side with a reasonable proposal for a punishment, rather than burning bridges and convincing 281 more people to vote for his death.
adamd22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't consider that to be anything even close to "suicide" as you put it.
Socrates was like 70 by this point, he had spent his life criticising and mocking the status quo, the system, and those in power, and teaching others to keep an open mind. Of course he died with his beliefs intact, he was put before a system he loathed, and expected to grovel and play the game with them. He was the definition of a martyr, he died because he refused to change his beliefs, he remained critical instead of suddenly collaborating with the system prosecuting him.
mickchaaya ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they could. Morality is a human construct. So something being 'wicked' is only because we view it as being wicked according to our morals.
In nature there is no mercy.
RetroFuturePast ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:14:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is both mercy and cruelty in nature. It is indifferent.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sylius735 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indifference does not stop the latter concepts from existing. It just makes them irrelevant in their eyes.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_Promise_Im_Working ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know which of y'all's sides I'm on lol
Sylius735 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recognition is not necessary to prove existence. The universe existed before humans were around to observe it.
succulentjoint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but did the concept of mercy exist before humans were around to put a name on it? Or do living organisms (outside of humans) just do things/act on instinct?
Also Descartes was not so sure of your last sentence....
Sylius735 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Descartes was not sure on a lot of things.
BackslidingAlt ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:48:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thrasymachus makes this argument in Republic Book 1, and is pretty summarily defeated and converted by Socrates, perhaps you should check it out (it's a bit past it's copyright so you can get it for free)
neujosh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while since I read that. Remind me what Socrates' response was, please!
BackslidingAlt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thras argues against mercy as a good, "justice is that the strong prevail against the weak". He is basicly a very early Nietzsche. But Socrates argues (and gets Thras to agree) that even a mighty king who does whatever he wants would harm himself, and not just others if he acts out of accordance with the Logos (true wisdom)
mickchaaya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Working off your summary, humans are both bound and freed due to their constructs. If morality is disregarded due to being a human construct, then all other human constructs must be similarily disregarded. I'll read the book though. I should read more philosophy.
BackslidingAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I understand what you mean
mike54076 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What many people don't realize is that as an empathetic, social species, humans trend towards certain behaviors to create an environment that can support cohabitation.
Matt Dillahunty did a really good lecture on secular morality. Its about starting from very basic rules of thumb and expanding.
BackslidingAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, so that behavior which allows us to cohabitate is virtuous, and that which does not is vice.
Interesting.
mike54076 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never attached a label to the behavior. I was just informing people of the reality of how our species currently exists.
But I do personally feel that it's impossible to not cohabitate given current constraints.
There's a pretty good thought exercise that I've heard of regarding this discussion of morals (or virtue) in regards to a society.
Try designing a society where your role (profession, race, gender, sex, etc.) is unknown.
A simpler version of this is: Say you have 5 people who really love cake (more or less equally), if you want to ensure that the cake is divided equally, have the person cutting the cake have the last choice of slice.
jaxder_jared ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 06:16:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds more like morals than virtues
mickchaaya ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 07:45:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the definition of virtue is 'behaviour showing high moral standard'
WatNxt ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So virtue is morals?
ZypherMyth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:00:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Essentially. IIRC, the main difference you'd see in a practical sense is that Morals refer to the set of common practices by a group which is seen as "good behavior." (e.g. plenty of places in the US where homosexuality is considered immoral) whereas Virtues refer to the set of personal characteristic which a group of people strive to achieve (e.g. honesty, courage, piety, etc.)
magikarpcandosplash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Virtue is moral excellence, asettled attitude which conduces to habitually good action in some respect." - John Macquarrle, 1997
JCY2K ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtues are a moral system. Usually not one, as the post above argues, framed in terms of benefits (which is a utilitarian ethic).
Kythulhu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean ethics. Morals are constructed by gods. Ethics are constructed by people.
fwipyok ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:18:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
personal ethos/ethics is their moral stand
societal ethos/ethics is, simply, what is usually done
has nothing to do with benefit or "goodness" (intentionally avoided using the word "virtue")
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:25:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since gods were constructed by man, I think it's safe to say morals are also a human construct.
Toppo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:03:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't ethics the study of morals?
ZypherMyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Ethics refers to the systematic and logical study of what is right and wrong. It's much "colder" in its discussion.
Morals are what a group of people, a culture, determine to be right or wrong based on things like religion (e.g. some people consider homosexuality immoral). While many morals might line up with what is ethical - don't kill, don't steal, etc. - there are usually many others which apply specifically to that group of people/culture.
Patch95 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good and evil may be human constructs, or they may exist independently of the mind, in the abstract. There are no 'triangles' in the universe, yet the mathematical construct of a triangle (3 points joined by straight lines) could be said to exist independently of human thought. If abstract constructs can exist independently of human thought, why can't good and evil.
mickchaaya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is highly subjective.
Patch95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not suggesting that good and evil are a rigid set of rules, what is good and what is evil can very well change depending on circumstance and environment. Either there are just actions, and 'morals' are societies response to them, or 'good' and 'evil' exist, and societies 'morals' are an effort to achieve 'goodness'.
For example in a society with scant resources, it may very well be 'good' for the elderly to choose exile and death to allow the young to survive. However in a society with abundant healthcare and resources, the same action of suicide could be considered selfish, 'evil'. However, both these ideas in some way suggest that when we ascribe morals to something, we are trying to use some measure of 'goodness' to weigh what is right.
mickchaaya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:33:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
morals cannot exist without intelligent life. i am hesitant to admit an abstraction that relies on intelligence to percieve it.
Patch95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a perfectly reasonable position to hold, I myself have not fully decided what I believe on this issue. I am inclined to believe that abstract ideas do exist in and of themselves, just as we are able to write laws of nature for universes and dimensions that do not exist, and that mathematical concepts are not merely human ideas. I think maybe concepts such as good and evil are less clear cut, as are truth, justice, beauty, but I feel that they are real, even if their application is subjective.
Dinkir9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is touching upon the philosophy behind zoroastrianism.
adamd22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still a non-answer. What are these rules? Are they finite and defined? Are they malleable? How do they benefit society? Slavery benefits society in terms of efficiency.
mickchaaya ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
youre speaking nonsence. i cant say 'these are the rules society should follow'. i am not qualified, and i cannot claim that my limited 20 years of life has granted me enough wisdom to declare such. the rules evolve along with a society and reflects their values and beliefs.
adamd22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's exactly the point here, there isn't an answer. This is exactly what philosophy is: questioning societal norms and implications of everyday life.
SWGORINO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But betterment of society is relative and doesn't necessarily entail what we think it means. Killing of 3 billion people might be betterment of society. Letting retarded kids die might be betterment of society.
mickchaaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naturally.
PhillyWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That answer still gets you stuck on the issue of who defines "betterment of society" and how much of society has to be bettered for it to be virtuous?
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You use that word, "betterment"- I don't think I really understand what you mean by it. You seem knowledgeable about such things, would you care to explain what you mean by it?
djeekay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fetch the hemlock!
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:19 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
mickchaaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
betterment - The act or process of improving something.
Sorry, I don't understand your question.
quining ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to draw attention to the fact that your account of virtue essentially depends on your concept of "betterment", which presupposes that you already know what the "good" is (just as the concept of "improving" does btw). But what if I asked you to tell me what your concept of the good is? That is what Socrates was ultimately aiming at.
mickchaaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldnt i leave that for the society to judge? our current societys values are (off the top of my head) not being a cunt, having a job, and a few others. virtue would be going above that (being nice, having a better job).
this explanation feels sloppy, but i dont feel the need to define what 'good' is, since its a tool deemed valuable to society.
DarkDreamer1337 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:08:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtue is like beauty or love; a little (or sometimes a lot) different for everyone, but when you see it (or feel it, in the case of love), you know it.
That would be my answer, though I'm pretty sure it'd be considered a non-answer.
BackslidingAlt ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, It is sometimes called the "Socratic fallacy" that one must know the definition of a word in order to understand it. That is generally understood to be untrue today.
Still Socrates does seem to behave as if it is consistently the case "You think you are so virtuous Euthyphro? You are ready to execute your own father? Tell me what that word even means if you're so smart" it's pretty compelling.
Perhaps the argument is not so much that you are not poking at real virtue, or real love, or real beauty, but that if you really are committed to those things you should continue to pursue dialogue about them until you have actually figured them out, not just poked at them.
sarcastic-barista ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for accurate philosophical explanation
blaghart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtue is to help in the face of need
Evil is to do nothing in the face of need.
crossedstaves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:14:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait its only evil to do nothing? So its evil to watch a child starve, but not evil to actively starve them.
BackslidingAlt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socrates would be proud
blaghart ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:24:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're actively starving them you're not stopping them from starving, are you not? Ergo you're still doing nothing in the face of need, you're just also creating that need.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:09:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you fail to act, you've not acted in a neutral manner.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:33 on May 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
blaghart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:18 on May 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea this is one of those times you should have remained silent, because opening your mouth removed all doubt. Particularly in how you completely fail to grasp basic english.
If you have the chance to act and chose not to, you have acted negatively. You've acted by making the choice.
The really impressive part is the level of mental deficiency you'd have to have to miss that you still made a choice by not acting.
SoleilNobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:02:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtue isn't real. Eat a dick Plato.
BackslidingAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Excellence?
_foxie ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:41:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not in the clear at all. The dilemma is that Euthyphro has no way to define what is "good", unless he relies on the Gods. Socrates shows he can not define "good" that way either. If there is no defining characteristic of good, then morality is simply a set of arbitrary rules. Your response does not answer the question of what is good any more than the response that it has been preordained by god.
usernumber36 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's plenty of way to define good without reference to gods. We define SO MANY words without reference to any gods. Why would this specific word need gods?
_foxie ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 06:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is how you reach an adequate definition that does not render good as arbitrary. In the dilemma, Euthyphro believes in God (or plural Gods since this is athens), so he is walking an even finer edge. He wants to maintain God's omnipotence, and also maintain that good is not arbitrary. Essentially Socrates shows that you can not have it both ways.
The reason why Euthyphro is inclined to define good through God, is that it seems to be the only way to make goodness an absolute, eternal quality. If it is not absolute or eternal, then we are left with a subjective understanding of goodness, which is the antithesis of morality.
If we take God out of the picture, which Socrates wants to do, then what can we define to be goodness. What concrete terms can we use to do so? We can link it to the evolution of society, some common tendencies in humans, but this again renders it subjective and arbitrary. If it is arbitrary then what reason do I have to restrain myself, or to follow one path rather than the other? If there is no true concept of goodness, how can one say action X is definitely evil?
Another point to be mentioned is that in the dialogue Socrates is about to go on trial, which later ends in his death. He does not need to define goodness at all, he just needs to show either that society, not God, defines goodness or that it can not be defined at all. Then he can state that his sentencing is based on absurdity.
Fyres ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:16:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That worked out really good for him in the end :/
In all seriousness bravo that was a well written response Ty.
usernumber36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:56:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To me that's not a problem at all. There are PLENTY of things we have cause to value whose definitions are ultimately arbitrary.
The definition of ALL words is arbitrary.
No it doesn't.
Evolution is a mindless process. It can't possibly select based on something that exists only in the mind. If nature naturally selected based on it then it has to be objectively real.
MeDanP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:37:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problems mitigated by the urges and feelings we rationalize as "good" are objectively real. Good itself is just a meme.
Good has no objective meaning or substance of its own. All we can say objectively is that "good" preserves itself and any social group which embraces it. Is that objectively a good thing? Sure, why not? Good is good because it is good.
Next topic: Is the sensation of hunger objectively real because we have evolved to feel It, or is it just one elegant solution to an objectively real problem?
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good necessarily has to have a consistent and objective meaning if it naturally preserves itself. Otherwise there would be nothing being preserved.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:54:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Define good then. Define good in a sense that is completely objective and applies to everyone. I'm sure you can do something that some of the greatest philosophers in history could not.
mike54076 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good has varied definitionsโ based on the context in which its used.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OldManWithAStick ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So killing someone would be good if i want to be killed myself?
Arcidias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me_irl
mike54076 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Golden rule isn't the best iteration of that thought though. It SHOULD be "treat others as they would have you treat them".
Randommosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if you run into someone who wants everyone else to do his bidding? He would have you treat him like a king, but should you actually do so?
mike54076 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why it's a rule of thumb, not a mandate. Generally you would want to do that until that infringes on someone else's rights.
adamd22 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:04:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suicidal people would have a field day as serial killers.
Your morality shouldn't be so close-minded, that undermines the whole concept of philosophy.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:31:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love someone to give me peanut butter, me giving it to someone with severe allergies is not good.
People deserve equal treatment, but not identical treatment.
usernumber36 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're suggesting that because people in the past haven't done X, therefore X is not possible?
That comment you just made is exactly why this discussion makes no progress. Any time someone has a suggestion it gets dismissed out of hand because "well you can't possibly have advanced any further than the philosophers of old".
"Good"has a definition. If it didn't, we wouldn't even be able to use the word.
Boron_the_Moron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:11:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If "Good" has a definition, then fucking say what that definition is, instead of dancing around the question.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm saying people much smarter and more versed than you couldn't figure it out, so any confidence you have in your own opinion is probably from ignorance and ego, not from actually possessing some great knowledge.
Very wrong. We have words that represent abstractions and undescribable experiences, having a clear definition is not required for a word to exist.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it has a clear definition. I said it has a definition.
There is an idea you mean to convey to me, which you know I will understand, when you say that word to me. Humanity has a shared understanding of your intention of meaning when you say the word good. It has a meaning.
Like I said... if that weren't true, how the heck are we using it in conversation all the time? It's not like the word "horstunflap" which really DOES have no meaning. Compare and contrast. One has a meaning, the other doesn't.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes exactly, we have a general concept of what good is, but it is very abstract, means slightly different things to different people, and cannot be written down with an objective definition.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something being abstract is VERY different to saying that thing doesn't exist AT ALL. And the latter does not follow from the former.
The general concept IS the functional definition.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:39 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true, because abstract concepts don't necessarily exist, and different people have their own perspective on the concept. You could not explain the concept of good to someone who does not understand the concept.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:12 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of course I could. What a silly thing to say. you genuinely have no concept of what good means when you use that word? How in the heck are you able to use it in conversation then?
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:56 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you could? Okay, go ahead and explain it then.
Can you define human? Can you define life? No you cannot, no one has or can. No one has found a way tk define these concepts in a way that a computer would understand them, so they cannot be objectively defined. But we still use the words to represent very general and abstract concepts.
Our greatest philosophers could not define good, you seem to have the ego to believe you can, but refuse to do so.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:47 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a ridiculous thing to say. If those words have no meaning, HOW CAN YOU USE THEM???
Why do people do this? This is why philosophy gets nowhere - any time someone tries to think differently to what's been going round in circles for 100s of years, they get told nobody can ever do anything that the mystical ancient gods of philosophy couldn't.
Do you realise how absurd some of those ancient ideas are?
If I say someone is a "good" person I mean to say they do things that are considerate, beneficial to others and otherwise virtuous (reasons things may be virtued being a seperate point).
You KNOW the word has a meaning because you USE that word and intend to convey a MEANING by saying it. Why the fuck else do words exist?
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:51 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they have objective definitions, then go ahead and define them.
These aren't ancient ideas. No philosopher, from ancient Greek to right now can define good. All the people much smarter than you cannot, you believe you can because you are ignorant.
Yes, that is the general abstract idea of goodness that you personally hold, but it is not an objective and thorough definition.
Like I've said a million times, the word conveys an abstract concept, not something concrete. Words don't have to represent things that are concrete and objective, nor even real. We can have words for things that do no exist.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:12 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... you seem to be confused what you're even disagreeing with.
First you say the word has no meaning, now you're saying it DOES have one, but it just refers to something abstract. well duh. Words can do that. it doesn't mean they have no definition.
Also wtf do you mean about this "objective definition" thing? Objective vs subjective refers to things which are observed. Definitions of words aren't that - they're established through convention and useage. They're nether objective nor subjective. If you mean to say different people may use the same word to refer to different concepts, thats EQUIVOCATION, not subjectivity.
bowsting ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is philosophically impossible to define "good" as in moral virtue without turning to the omnipotent. The problem lies in the reality that good entirely constructed that it is impossible to lend consistency in meaning to the word without referencing something higher than you as a human. If you don't, good can be defined entirely by what you view as good which, while not necessarily wrong, is not what most people would agree is "good".
GrogramanTheRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omnipotence has nothing to with it unless you resort to Divine Command Theory--Euthyphro's position--which, as Socrates points out, reduces the term "good" to mean just "that which the gods command." But this contradicts out basic intuitions about what the Good is; few people would accept that God or the gods can, for instance, just decide that theft or murder are good by their own fiat.
One can refer to standards of the Good which can, in some sense, be seen as "higher" than the individual, especially in that the individual cannot decide what the Good is on their own, but are not solely decided by the decree of the most powerful.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I reject that claim entirely. Your justification for it is not something I agree with at all - there is no reason to claim that definition of word X must necessarily reference something higher than a human if X is objective.
also false. I have no idea why you would think anything is necessarily subjective if the definition does not make explicit reference to a god.
bowsting ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't need to be explicit, can certainly be implicit. But let's go the Socratic route to prove this as that's the easiest way to prove this point to you. How would you define "good"?
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
depends in what context I were using the word.
Good "for" something? THE good as a noun? Good as an adjective, a descriptor?
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good as in the general concept of good. Good vs. evil.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do you mean that as a noun or an adjective?
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A concept would be a noun.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe in the existence of "good" as a noun. I believe in things which can be described as good, i.e. as an adjective.
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the entire point of Socrates' argument...
Good as an idea is fabricated because it has to come from something higher than humanity to be binding, otherwise it is relative. As it is impossible to disassociate the two, if you remove the assumption of a higher power, you remove the existence of "good".
I'm really not sure why you are disagreeing with me because it sounds like you already agree with the Socratic idea that good doesn't exist.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:24 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm disagreeing because I don't think that good doesn't exist.
I think the word "good" has a number of meanings that can be objectively said to be applicable to things.
What I disagree with is that god is necessary for that.
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point isn't that all the uses of good have to relate to god. Socrates point isn't to change the concept of a "good taco" to be a taco descended from god. The point is that the concept of good, as in to be morally good and righteous, is one that is something that only exists because of belief in a god. If you don't believe good exists then you're on the same page as him.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Completely false and not at all substantiated by this dilemma.
and I do believe good things exist.
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The argument isn't about good THINGS. It's about good as a concept.
And I'd love to prove how its true but you said you "I don't believe in the existence of "good" as a noun." And if you don't believe in good as a noun that means you can't define in which is entirely what Socrates is getting at.
Unless you'd like to define something you don't believe in, in which point I can use the Socratic method to show how it is true...but that just seems counter-intuitive.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:24 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no idea wtf you mean by good as a concept if you don't mean things which can be described as "good" (i.e. good as an adjective).
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:29 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well in philosophy and really just morality in general there is idea often discussed of "the good". It's a concept that is often used to identify what, from a certain view, is just, correct, moral, etc.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:35 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and unless they treat those words as adjectives I have no idea wtf that's supposed to mean. Do you?
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:27 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude that's what I'm telling you: that's what Socrates is getting at. There's this idea of "the good" that comes up as the driving force of decisions. "Morality demands we ban X." "X represents good." "I'm fighting for good." These things are bullshit because they only exists as a clear idea because they are tied to an anchor point, traditionally god. The only reason "good" exists in this manner is because there's something everyone can point to and say "that's it" and the only reason THAT exists is traditionally because of religion.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And my contention is that the anchor point is the definition of the word "good", as an adjective, not god.
To me it's a word like any other adjective. It either applies or it doesn't, and we all know what it means.
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:02 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Socrates isn't talking about how the idea that his cup of coffee is good comes from god. So your contention doesn't make Socrates's contention inaccurate.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:09 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... never said it did.
bowsting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:55 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You specifically said
And then subsequently justified your position on you above stated contention.
TearShitDown ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well of course there is more to it than that if the dilemma is well known. If God says you should do something terrible, should you do it? There is an arguable answer for that. He's God, his level of understanding far outshines our own.
anglidediablo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:39:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then he can damn well explain why he wants something awful done if he's so wise and understanding. I know I'm taking the dilemma a bit literally, but no higher authority should be given blind trust. Maybe it's the devil in disguise. Maybe you're bonkers.
preoncollidor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The argument is that humans are plainly limited creatures incapable of understanding beyond a certain level of complexity that would be necessary. Like trying to explain that last sentence to my cat; try all you'd like it just won't work.
adozu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
on the other hand cats have no moral dilemmas at all. everything they feel like doing is completely moral to them.
preoncollidor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:06:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just as we would be seen as irredeemably simple, selfish, stupid, hedonistic animals to life forms as superior intellectually to us as we are to cats.
adbet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you're in a crowded room where everyone sees God with you. God quickly presents an ID confirming he's not some nefarious being and then instructs you to kill everyone in the room.
Is His request good? Are you bad for refusing it?
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I say if he wants it done, he has the power and can do it himself. If he's testing me, I choose not to be tested.
adbet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kinda reminds me of noah's ark, it wouldn't work if God told noah to kill everyone in the world but its alright when he does it and leaves you behind.
Sarius1997 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not neccesarily. Imagine, you are a dog. You master tells you to, lets say, push over a fat guy on the rails.
Now, you (the dog) understand this command (probably). It might feel just wrong. Explaining to the simple mind of a dog, that there are 5 children tied to the rails around the corner, which would be killed by the train coming unless he pushes the fat man down on the rails to stop the train, would either take to long (again, simple mind) or he just plain out wouldnยดt understand.
Now scale this up to a human in the dogs position and god as "the master". Or maybe even a bigger cognitive difference than between us and the dog. We might just not understand why we are supposed to do whatever god wants from us.
And the "maybe youยดre bonkers" argument is one iยดve stopped taking seriously a this point. Itยดs the same way solipism is just irrelevant. Maybe youยดre bonkers, maybe youยดre not, maybe there is a universe out there, maybe itยดs all created by your mind. You wonยดt now, so itยดs better to act like you are not bonkers and the universe exists, because you donยดt lose anything by acting like everything is normal if solipism or the "you are bonkers" argument is true, while you lose very much if you act by solipism in case it is wrong.
spicewoman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course the "you're bonkers" possibility is relevant. We're not discussing some long-shot "maybe everything's been a dream all along" scenario, this is a specific case of someone suddenly thinking they're being told by an unseen entity to do things that seem objectively wrong and crazy, even to them. You would be crazy not to question yourself at that point. I mean, do you think all those people that've snapped and drowned their kids to death because "god told them to" were right? That it was a good thing they did it because you're sure "god" had a reason?
-_-
anglidediablo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who said anything about solipsism? I'm talking about taking a step back and looking at your actions in a vacuum - if they're according to what western society currently deems as generally acceptable, carry on. Anything outside that should be justified with evidence and logic, and "because I'm definitely omniscient and know more than you" just doesn't cut it.
irljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you can't comprehend the why?
anglidediablo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then I'm not talking to an omnipotent, omniscient being, am I? I'm not gonna listen to what amounts to a hyped up ghost with a god complex.
irljh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Never thought about if omnipotence extends to forcing understanding on an incapable creature.
anglidediablo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, all powerful means ALL powerful, no? Creating a world from a void seems like it'd be way harder than making a creature's brain bigger, or increase cognition.
Edit: than making, not to make
irljh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. Is it the power to do anything over a period of time or instantly?
_foxie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is not really whether you should do it or not. That is a different issue, which is why the Euthyphro dilemma is not the perfect example for this kind of discussion.
The dilemma is whether goodness is whatever God demands, or whether God only demands good. if it is the former, than goodness is arbitrary and God is like a ruler who just sets out rules that we must follow. On the other hand, if God demands only what is good, goodness is a quality outside of God which limits him. We also can not find goodness by studying God since he is defined by goodness, not the other way around.
Your last sentence would have you leaning towards the latter view. God understands all, and thus only does what is good. Goodness then seems to be outside of him.
DrakeFloyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If God is God then isn't whatever he's telling you to do by definition not terrible? The person you're replying to seems to think there's morality separate from a God, but if all of a sudden God revealed himself to me and told me to do some awful shit, and I somehow 100% believed he was God and I was not delusional, I'd fucking do it. So kinda what you said but in more words.
noisypeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this, again, presumes that God's understanding is of some higher purpose that the terrible act would serve. I think wording it like this is still an assumption that "good" is something that exists that God knows of.
But what if this weren't the case? What if it wasn't about understanding and was just kept to what God commands, no matter what? What if God simply enjoys seeing murder and, so, commanded it of someone? No higher understanding of the more infinite scale that the act is part of. He just wants it. Does that make it good to do?
TearShitDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not advocating a certain position, only that the dilemma isn't quite as simple as the OP suggested. Its a complex question.
Exxmorphing ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:45:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it works to a similar capacity on general morality.
usernumber36 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:50:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what's the dilemma for general morality?
ramilehti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a secular society what is morality but a set of norms.
What if that set of norms allows or requires abhorrent behavior?
Think about war, norms of sexual conduct in any country.
What if your screwed up brain tells you that you are in love (sexually) with a child?
Who is right then?
usernumber36 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just a set of norms. There are immoral norms in existence and we all accept this. Morality has a very definite connotation of altruism and considerateness, and those things can be well understood without referencing any norms or authority. You might even say they can be judged quite objectively.
It would be objectively false for me to claim that child molestation is altruistic. Altruism being a necessary (but perhaps not sufficient) defining characteristic of the moral, I can validly therefore conclude child molestation is objectively immoral.
AllNamesAreGone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. For all the difficulty we have perfectly defining good, we know what it is. Helping others is good. Hurting others is not. Arguing semantics to make killing and stealing 'good' is an interesting philosophical argument, but an infuriating practical one.
Boron_the_Moron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except when the others you're hurting are Evil, and deserve to be hurt. Or when the others cannot be reasoned with, and the only way to stop them from doing harm is through violence. Or when the others claim to own something that is not theirs, necessitating its confiscation and return to its rightful owners, an act which the original claimant would consider "theft".
Gee, it's almost as if our understanding of good is nowhere near as simple as you think.
juggernaut8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That counts as helping others. It all depends on context.
So returning the the item to its rightful owners is good then. It's not very simple, but it's not that hard either, in practical terms that is.
Boron_the_Moron ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:37:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right: it's not hard when you're omniscient.
preoncollidor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is telling that you say this as part of a discussion of ancient Greek philosophy which was a culture in which the virtues of romantic relationships between older men and young boys were glorified as beneficial to all involved and society as a whole. Plato's Symposium is a good example.
mike54076 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:44:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of our advances in civil rights have largely been due to secularism.
skoobahdiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Kantian ethicist.
usernumber36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah fam ain't got no time for no categorical imperatives.
skoobahdiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did universalize the maxim, though.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what maxim?
Grizknot ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:45:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a true former christen. In a situation where you know that there's a God and he tells you to do something directly, they're really isn't room for your petty moralizing. This is the literal controller of your very cells' existence. The only correct response to any request is "tell me when to stop."
This isn't about God's authority or your need to defy your father and his ideology. This is about you being a puny, small minded human and God understanding all of existence.
usernumber36 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:51:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
then he can tell me why I'm incorrect. If he has no reason, then I'm correct.
My answer is that I refuse until I am given reason.
Indarus1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't exactly know a lot about the Bible, but aren't there a lot of times that devils/generally evil people masquerade as good people to get humans to do their bidding? Blindly following anyone doesn't make much sense, if that's the case. If he's omniscient, then he'd understand why you are refusing him at first.
Grizknot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really the point. As I said:
We're past proof or whatever. You know.
Using that logic he'd say it in a such a way the first time that you wouldn't refuse.
My point is that /u/usernumber36 is viewing this from the perspective of Family Guy's or any number of hollywood's cliched gods, but that's really not the meaning of God. If you watched Intersteller, it'd be kinda like instead of a 5-th dimensional being helping them out and creating the wormhole, it was an infiniti-dimensional being. That's God. Whatever his plan is, you're not gonna stop it from happening because you think you know best or because your name is Jack Sparrow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
snickerfriend ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:33:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moses was the one to change his mind. Abraham was the opposite; God told him to go sacrifice his son Isaac so Abraham went up and tried to do just that until at the very last second God was like "woah okay, I believe you trust Me now. You can stop now."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Professor_Hoover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the Koran I believe Abraham actually has to go through with the sacrifice.
major_bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Grizknot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a city called Sodom (the root of "sodomy") and Lot (pronounced Lowt) was Abraham's brother-in-law/cousin. And what you're thinking of was actually Abraham's failure to convince God to change his mind about destroying Sodom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Grizknot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I remember, Abraham asked god to save the cities if there were a min number of "righteous" people (at first 50 but eventually ten) unfortunately there weren't so god destroyed it.
MonkofAntioch ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh I've wondered that for a long time. Thanks for the lead
_foxie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're interested, also look into Kierkegaard's writing on Abraham and Isaac, suspension of ethics or something like that. Euthyphro deals with the question of whether goodness is what God demands, or that God only demands what is good. It's a slightly different issue then whether one should listen to God's will, regardless of one's subjective opinion. Although I believe Kierkegaard deals with the Euthyhpro dilemma as well.
MonkofAntioch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just google Kierkegaard Abraham Isaac?
_foxie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That should probably give it to you. It's under Fear and Trembling on Wikipedia, although I would also look at Stanford's philosophy site since they have some good explanations.
Just to note, although I haven't spent much time on Kierkegaard's argument, I'm not a fan of it. But it is quite interesting, as are his other arguments.
INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you cant use logic against illogical people.
they will always justify their thought process because "its that way."
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. William Lane Craig did a pretty good video on this. The part on the euthyphro dilemma starts at 2:15.
Full disclosure: Dr. Craig and myself are Christians, and I don't want to start some huge debate on the existence of God (the topic of the video), but I have pondered this myself quite a lot, and I really appreciated what he had to say and thought someone else might as well.
Prohibitorum ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:06:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm familiar with the work of Dr. Craig, and it does not surprise me that the reactions on that video are disabled. This should strike you as a red flag.
You can read more about why this argument is flawed here: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Argument_from_morality
JCY2K ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't find that (or any other) argument for the existence of gods compelling. I also don't see disabled comments as a red flag.
YouTube video comments, especially on topics as contentious as religion can rapidly become a hateful nasty place. If whoever posts a video doesn't have time to moderate, it's not unreasonable to turn off comments.
BrowsOfSteel ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:57:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristmanonthestreet
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/cheeseandricereddit
greygraphics ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:48:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're so close...
AllNamesAreGone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16 more as of my sub.
ZestyGrape ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT IS DONE
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, they actually pulled it off.
Sgp15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/itsjasonbourne
JustMeAndMySnail ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow. just.... wow.
nalydpsycho ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:15:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious?
c3534l ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:25:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like satire.
freshieststart ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:25:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess /u/kennyemmy has to go out and troll meatspace from time to time.
lookitsnichole ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:24:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck?
myassholealt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the ultimate cop out.
burlal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I use this when the cops come over?
Tim_WithEightVowels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This must have a video or recording?
c3534l ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:02:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I highly doubt they aired it.
Stewardy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:06:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ATHEIST CENSORSHIP!!!!
LunacyExport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck, even the Catholic church condemned that shit.
c3534l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, after they were caught. Before then they had no trouble shuffling around predophiles and bribing families to keep quiet.
LunacyExport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say they were perfect.
c3534l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'm struggling to come up with an explanation with why you'd say that. What do you think the scandal was about? My theory right now is that you think the scandal was about the fact that some priests were pedophiles, not that the Catholic church protected and enabled them.
LunacyExport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The scandal was that the Catholic church, at the time, protected and enabled pedophilic priests. Since then, the entire affair and especially the actions of the priest have been condemned. My original comment was wondering how the fuck anyone could possibly believe that child molestation was okay.
FunctorYogi ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 02:52:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nihilistmemes
mist91 ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 03:35:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with the answer he gave?
archaic_angle ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 05:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it either, I've always wanted to blend in too, being invisible in the crowd is so much easier than standing out, why draw needless attention to yourself?
heyoukidsgetoffmyLAN ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:38:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By telling the student she will get no more questions the prof denies the student her goal of blending in, because everyone but her will get questions. Sounds like a thought-provoking challenge to the student's self-conception.
Tyler1492 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 09:48:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume it's a she?
Edit: For those of you, nice redditors, politely and respectfully downvoting me:
No, I don't care about the gender of the student. No, I don't think it matters. No, I don't think it's relevant.
I just asked a simple question. It might not be relevant but I was curious. If the person I replied to had said โtheyโ I would have interpreted as either an actual โsheโ or an actual โheโ. However, when they said โsheโ I could only assume that the student was an actual โsheโ. So I asked why since I was curious about what made heyoukidsgetoffmyLAN assume the student was a โsheโ.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
helloimpaulo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it part of the English language to usr male pronouns when the gender is unknown? I admit it's petty but I just don't find a reason to use "she" instead of using "he"?
CydeWeys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, no, not anymore. English is changing rapidly and a lot of people are no longer using male as the default gender. It's a definite faux pas in lots of professional and corporate writing.
helloimpaulo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:20 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you please link me to ny source on "he" not being the default neutral pronoun anymore? I'd appreciate it.
CydeWeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:03 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that language is descriptive, not prescriptive, right?
helloimpaulo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's a given. What I'm asking for, if it was unclear, is some article or proof that the use of "he" as a default pronoun is massively starting to be frowned upon. You mention corporate writing and I'd love to see some examples of that, as it seems rather harsh considering it's such an ingrained practice in English.
I'm asking this because some small movements are starting a similar change in Spanish. A big problem (if you want to look at it like that) is that we have "gendered" nouns, e.g.: male and female cat go as gato and gata. The main problem comes with plurals: a bunch of male and female cats uses gatos (the male plural noun), assuming the genre in a similar fashion to English in unknown genders. The point is, a bunch of people want it to be changed and use stuff like "gatxs" on the regular. However, they are a really miniscule minory, despite being somewhat vocal. I'm mentioning all of this because I find it a really weird movement to force such changes on the language when I have been taught that it evolves organically and naturally. This, as it might be implied by my comment, doesn't feel natural at all to me.
CydeWeys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:21:24 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English has a long ingrained practice of not always using masculine as the default gender. The use of singular they to denote situations of unknown gender, for instance, goes back centuries. There's also been a trend to de-genderify most of the existing words in English that do have gender, i.e. most female actors now call themselves "actors", not "actresses". The same is done for "servers" (formerly "waitresses"), "police officers" (formerly "policemen"), "firefighters" instead of "firemen", etc. There's also alternating gender, where in longer passages, for the purposes of examples, you go back and forth rather than only defaulting to male. There's also he/she and his/her.
Spanish is going to be a lot harder than English because all of your nouns (and most pronouns) are gendered, whereas this is not true in English, and English also already has many ungendered alternative words already in common usage. We don't have to invent any new words to get away from gender almost entirely.
I can tell you that, anecdotally, a lot of companies, mine included, are focused on using gender-inclusive language both for internal and external communications. When women make up fully half of the population, it just doesn't make sense to give the appearance of excluding them by referring to the male gender. For instance, you wouldn't see a job posting along the lines of "Looking for a new VP. He must have ten years experience ..." Instead, gender-neutral language would be used, along the lines of "The candidate must have ten years experience ..." Expressing a gender preference in a job posting is actually literally against the law, and could subject you to huge discrimination lawsuits, so people absolutely do pay lots of attention to this in corporate America.
heyoukidsgetoffmyLAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:37 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As OP of the comment that launched this subthread, I am surprised at the amount of discussion it generated. I first used male pronouns in referring to the student; but immediately after posting I quickly changed them to the female forms. It was really just a sudden inspiration, followed by thinking about why I did that.
I think the alternating gender style you mention was a factor, but more so it was to challenge cognitive rigidity -- mine and others' -- which of course was the main thrust in my brief analysis of the joke. I confess to some gender bias in my afterthought, imagining that "just wanting to blend in" might be more characteristic of women than men; let the SJW hate rain down.
transandpans ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:10:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the person you asked, but I'll often break the whole "it's 'he' if you don't know" rule because I find that often makes people assume the person in question to be male. Breaking the rule intentionally challenges that (although I typically use "they" rather than "she" ). That may have been what they were doing.
It's definitely also possible that something about the story made them think that the person was a girl, though. You never know.
Tyler1492 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what should be done ideally. Using โsheโ is no better than โheโ.
And that is why I asked.
lordsmish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not in the context of an example sex doesn't matter
Tyler1492 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:02:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it mattered.
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell... why are people arguing with you over this?
To my perspective, I assumed the student was a he, probably because I am a he so the default characters I create in my mind are he's.
When heyyoukidsgetoffmyLAN said "she" I completely missed it and thought (he/she/they?) said "he.
If I had read "she" then the pictures forming in my mind would have conflicted, and I would have been like "wait I thought it was a he?" and had to reread what was said before to make it seem like it was actually a "she".
I then would have determined that nothing referred to the student being a she. So then, I probably would have asked the same question you did.
Is this some kind of SJW-istic behavior? Or maybe it's people who think you're being SJW-ish? I can't tell. This whole ordeal has confused and disappointed me.
InspiringCalmness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why do you assume the gender matters in this context?
Tyler1492 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When did I say it did?
Flowseidon9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A. Why does it matter?
B. It's also statistically more likely for a sociology major to be a woman.
Tyler1492 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one said it does.
LHOOQatme ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the sociologist
I_Speak_For_The_Ents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you assume its needless? Attention is a path to promotion, to scholarships and free money. Standing out can get you places in life.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 04:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the typical answer a psychopath would give.
Ralmaelvonkzar ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 04:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A psychopath wouldn't fall for the trap and reveal themself
Pvt_Lee_Fapping ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:51:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A smart psychopath wouldn't.
tannimfodder ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A psychopath who thinks it's funny would.
end42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:45:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...why so serious?
jelloskater ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 04:50:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it definitely is not.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:09:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok good, seemed like a normal answer.
Exxmorphing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but not everybody who gives the answer is a psychopath. Check your connotations.
Infallible_Ibex ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 03:33:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, what was he supposed to say? That seems correct to me
Exzyle ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 04:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the question was asked in the veign of "Why do people conform?"
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 05:12:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Haitchpeasauce ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:20:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There it is! All of life's questions have been solved. Thank you, Reddit!
max225 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:16:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'm going to kill myself.
LittleBigKid2000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:09:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
Iohet ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:25:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's sociology class. The way the question is asked matters
Eric_the_Barbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So suddenly a difference in motivation renders someone inhuman?
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:14:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because people don't necessarily DESIRE to conform but they are pressured to or because it's easier. No one ever sees conforming as a good thing (especially young people) but doesn't admit they do it. This must be understood when the teacher asked. It was probably more of a "ha HA got ya, didn't I?" kind of question. In sociology, how people behave is somewhat subconscious so they don't consciously try to be like everyone else.
krokpastill ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:28:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he pretty much nailed it, didn't he? For a reason I think most people wouldn't have given such an ironic answer. So he is not fitting in by saying he wants to fit in... Genius. Or maybe this was the implied joke of your comment and I'm slow to realize it and think "I'm so smart".
TheGreatTempenstein ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:55:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely tried my best to conform in high school. I was the the smallest person in the school, and my test scores were through the roof, but I wanted nothing more than to be a normal kid. I ignored homework, I gave intentionally snarky answers, I got thrown out of classes all in an effort to show I didn't think I was "better" than anyone or "special." I hide my academic trophies, I've never hung my diploma (I actually did some fake aging on it.) One of my college papers got nominated for an award and they asked me to present it at a conference. It took 4 professors and $300 for travel expenses to convince me to go. They had to force me to take two promotions at my last job because I was worried my peers would resent me (they did.) My entire early life and adulthood have been punctuated by how different I am. Sometimes I just want to be the guy sitting in the audience at a concert, or a face on a crowded street. I worked a year in a call center doing customer service and, to be honest, I found the whole thing oddly rewarding. I was just a faceless voice to those people. Ironically, working with those people over the phone was the most human and normal I ever felt at a job. People said things like "I know there's probably nothing you can do" or "I know it's not your department but" and it made me feel satisfied to be a part of something larger.
I_Speak_For_The_Ents ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:22:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont understand... Why not be both? Be the smart guy, but still be the guy in the crowd? Excel at what youre good at but be a nobody for what youre bad or mediocre at? Or why bot find an environment where your intelligence doesnt stand out? Get a job with other smart people. There are so many better options... Why put yourself down? That doesnt make you normal. That doesnt take away your intelligence. You will always be different.
xorgol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people feel very visible, and that makes them uncomfortable. I think I can empathize. I don't feel very visible most of the time, but when I do feel visible to others I really cringe.
TheGreatTempenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don't. I ask myself the same thing all the time. The most obvious answer is my social anxiety, but I think that's more symptomatic than causal. I've always had a lot of trust issues, my ex-gf was a violent alcoholic and I made the mistake of moving to Vegas with her and burning through all my savings in the process. She broke up with me and told me if I didn't let her new boyfriend move in she was just going to quit paying on the lease. I moved to a new house with a couple and my ex ended up stealing the guy and running to another state with him. Then I spent 8 months living with a paranoid schizophrenic and her husband who was never home. Then we all got laid off. Them my roommate woke up one morning and decided, as schizophrenics are wont to do, that she was done with me and I had to get out by the end of the month. I moved back home and 9 months later I've yet to "get back out there." I live in a poor, uneducated, largely blue collar area and I'm currently trying to find a job, but I'm living off the graciousness of my family at the moment so I can't be too picky. The last two years have been the hardest in my entire life. Got some touches of PTSD from a couple shootings and violent incidents that happened near me. I have trouble trusting people. I've been seeing a therapist and doctor to work on my motivation and sleep issues. I used to deal with them by smoking weed, but being unemployed at my parents house puts a damper on that. I'm making steady progress, including several job applications I made today, but it's taking time.
tl;dr: I've got enough baggage to fill a box truck and I'm still working on the customs forms.
slayerx1779 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Sometimes, the great are truly humble.
Just remember, behind every Stan Lee and Steve Jobs, is the talent.
Atsusaki ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:39:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope I can be half the man you are someday.
I_Speak_For_The_Ents ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:23:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Half the man? He's obsessed with smothering his talent and took terrible avenues to do so. Why would you idolize that?
drake_n_bake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's being sarcastic.
usernumber36 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:20:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see conforming as a good thing. I conform to the majority in that I don't kill people. That's a good thing. It is good to conform to that.
OgreJehosephatt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:52:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you'd start killing people if that's what everyone else was doing? That's troubling.
Stew_Long ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 06:10:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If everybody just starts killing people, then yeah, i'd imagine i'd have to kill some people.
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:20 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
Stew_Long ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:23 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You replied 13 times; are you on mobile? It might be a bug. Or maybe you meant to say the same thing that many times?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:22 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:25 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:29 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:29 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:30 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:37 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:37 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
OgreJehosephatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:42 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know that I'm not talking about killing in self-defense, right? ...Right?
Right?
ROPROPE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:56:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a hypothetical scenario where murder is commonplace and socially acceptable, it's fairly correct to assume that murder has become morally correct.
Your morals are affected by other people, whether you like it or not. You would conform and your morals would alter to match the norms of the society.
Though, that is a bit of an unfair question. Due to the extreme way we usually react to murder, the only way it would become socially acceptable is by the virtue of some form of alternate universe where murder has never been a bad thing, or some kind of real-life version of Crossed.
Just as a footnote: if a Crossed-style pandemic suddenly broke out and morals suddenly didn't exist anymore, it would be more than likely that some people would become, as World War Z calls them, quislings. Quislings are a very literal product of conformity, so they would be the best examples in this scenario.
EDIT: sorry for any and all badly formed sentences/arguments, I wrote this in a rush.
clothespinned ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah probably
Eric_the_Barbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I've already been to one war zone with a loaded gun.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's not implied by what I said.
GreatNegotiator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanting to "fit in" to your social group and those around you is natural trait. It is common among animals that are social and function as a tribe/community/pack/group etc.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe add things like peer pressure, socialisation, fear of punishment, fear of missing out, hope for societal rewards, upbringing, legal reprisals...
PeterGibbons316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically his answer to "why do people conform?" was "I conform."
Batman_Pyjamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former A-Level psychology student here. Why people conform fits into 2 categories. The desire to be liked and the desire to be right. That's typically the answer people look for.
Quick edit: A-Level is a qualification in the UK, not a humble brag.
TheTurtler31 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:41:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it lol
drdfrster64 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:06:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He means "you" in the general sense, as in "why do people conform?" Instead he takes the question literally and answers personally. He answers it as "why do I personally conform." The humor is subverting the question.
Here's why it's funny to me. Conforming is commonly juxtaposed with personal desire/independent thought. Like you conform because you're unable or unwilling to formulate your own opinion or thoughts on the matter. You're unwilling to have your own motivations and rely on others to tell you what to do. It's funny because his own personal, independent, and hard-conviction is just to follow everyone's else's thoughts and convictions.
Something pretty different but still similar in humor (subverting the question) is
"what is your greatest trait"
"Humility"
The reason this might not be funny to you is because you're a logical or somewhat philosophical human being. You recognize that a personal dream to fit in doesn't necessarily mean a personal dream to have others think for you. Your convictions can be true and self driven even if they're the same as everyone else's. However, it's the common-ness of the juxtaposition that make it implied.
TheTurtler31 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:41:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have Asperger's so my world is entirely logical. I really struggle with properly displaying and identifying emotions so I am not surprised that I didn't understand this now that you explained it. Thank you though!
notafuckingcakewalk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:02:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're anywhere on the spectrum or have similar conditions like ADHD, just conforming and behaving "normally" according to society's rubrics is a struggle and accomplishment.
TheTurtler31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:20 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you can say that again....unfortunately I have yet to master the "normal" look
Heroshade ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 05:11:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people don't realize they're conforming, they just do it. The guy who does it on purpose to blend in has an ulterior motive. Which is creepy, and in this context, hilarious.
purple_monkey58 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:23:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that creepy?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:40:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ArcticIceFox ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit....
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:09:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm a sociopath. That, or I have severe anxiety surrounding being out-grouped. Or both, I guess.
purple_monkey58 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
Also source?
DemonicMandrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because if you're actively trying to avoid bringing attention to yourself you probably have something to hide.
Or you have crippling social anxiety.
lordsmish ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think Dexter
purple_monkey58 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never watched so not helpful
SpaceGastropod ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 08:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe he's just a guy that feels too different and wants to be like the others? How can you assume it's creepy just like that wtf.
UltimateShingo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't feel safe on your own, you might also try to blend in. I do that, because I was bullied heavily.
xorgol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or even just to be himself without being judged by the others.
notafuckingcakewalk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's why I made a concerted effort with my son to be able to identify emotions behind various facial expressions and to understand things like sarcasm โย because I didn't when I was younger and it was a real struggle.
agrarian_miner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on ones situation, fitting in is sometimes the best option for a persons professional or academic career.
When I am at work, I do try to conform to some extent. Doing so just makes day to day life easier. I don't think mindfully making lots of inane small talk, and wearing bland business casual clothes makes me Patrick Batemen.
As far as the sociology student goes, I see their statement as kind of like proudly exclaiming, "I want to be a pencil pusher!" or "I want to be in middle management!" I guess I find it mildly amusing.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:23:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scene, emo and hipsters all have one thing in common. They don't want to conform.
Ironically, they are pretty conforming, as they all listen to the same music and dress in the same way. Because it identifies their opposition to conformity.
Fist-Is-A-Verb ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:40:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to be a non-conformist just like everybody else".
I_Speak_For_The_Ents ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:27:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its pretty impossible to not conform to any group though. So sure they conformed to their similar minority but not ti the greater majority.
muronivido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to say, I always kind of respected emos... I would have never been brave enough to go to school dressed like that. Kids are brutal. At least where I grew up.
ZCreator97 ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chew
Dou-kut-su ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 02:39:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a beautiful Duwang
llahsram555 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:53:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know, a mere 5 years ago Jojo memes were scarce but was a joy to find. Now I expect to find a jojo memes if I scroll far enough...
And I couldn't be happier.
deep_sea_fangly_fish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:59:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't be happier that I just finished part 4 just days ago and scrolled through the comments looking for exactly this, and found it.
Halfway through part 5 now......
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I've read through part 1 and 2, where should I pick up the anime?
deep_sea_fangly_fish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either start from the beginning or part 3. Parts 1 and 2 are the shortest and together only take one season, but if you've already read them you won't miss much except for some great music in part 2. Part 3 and especially 4 for me is when the show hit its stride and perfected its style anyway, so you'll be jumping in at the show's best.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I just really dislike Dio in the first part. I know it gets better in the later parts, but the set up for the story just irks me.
deep_sea_fangly_fish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dio in Part 3 is less psychopathic aristocrat and more......god-complex vampire king, so take that as you will. Part 4 is by far my favorite and it shakes up the formula in great ways, but Stardust Crusaders is probably the most popular and classically recognizable part.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's the psychopath aristocrat I can't stand. God-Complex vampire king is more ridiculous and thus fine.
I just can't stand people who punch dogs for fun. Or harass well meaning people just because they can.
kellykelster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stardust crusaders
Such-Fail ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:43:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something I would say......
Notthatiblameyou ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Patrick Bateman was your classmate?
RINGER4567 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I DONT UNDERSTAND
oddish56 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never let him see the Mona Lisa
Jebbediahh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have died laughing if just one of my teachers had been that transparent
ThermalConvection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get
Sombrere ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:53:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that student, by chance, an alien?
JustinWendell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if your not ambitious, this isn't a bad way to go through life.
uterinesingularity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once in a "World History Class" where the following two questions were asked and answered back-to-back by the same student.
T: "How would you describe the majority of historical figures we've talked about in this class?"
S: "Dead, Rich, White Guys."
T: "Why were these people so influential?"
S: "Power and Money"
edit: formatting is hard.
buttchuggernaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your friend, by chance, Patrick Bateman?
Cold_Hard_FaceValue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the honesty
Joonmoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "I want the average number of questions, please."
[deleted] ยท -46 points ยท Posted at 03:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Doctor_Croctopus ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:39:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/madlads
Soulren ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:18:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You posted this on a massive website that tons of people use, and conformed perfectly to the "edgy" stereotype.
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't conform to anything. I see you've conformed to the dull masses, though.
Soulren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dull masses" is a very common phrase to describe the majority of the population, mainly used by people trying not to "conform". Again, you stumble into stereotype. Also, assumptions about my character don't work if you have no evidence.
Teuthex ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:24:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonconformity is more conformist than conformity. That was the entire point of the original answer.
Heroshade ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:12:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the answer would be "you went to college like you were always told to."
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never went to an actual college, though.
Plus, I only went to a community college to get away from an abusive home.
Teuthex ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if her parents told her she'd never amount to anything and not to waste her time?
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because one person told you that doesn't mean you're not conforming.
UltimateShingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And what if you are going to college because you are legitimately interested in the topic and this is where you can learn about it?
Heroshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're still conforming to the societal norm of going to college. Your reasoning doesn't matter, you're still doing something many people do, something many people spent years in middle and high school being conditioned for.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine, but my point was just that just because someone is discouraging doesn't automatically mean you aren't conforming.
-website- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:08:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 edgy
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too dull.
effinzebras ยท 7350 points ยท Posted at 22:04:10 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok so this story totally doesn't translate to english, but I will give it a shot anyway:
In German there is this little drawing game called "das haus vom nikolaus" consisting of drawing a house without lifting the pen or drawing the same line twice. Well the act of drawing something without lifting your pen is called "in einem zug zeichnen" which literally translates to "drawing in a train".
So yes, one kid actually drew a house. In a train.
edit: spelling
boopbaboop ยท 1776 points ยท Posted at 22:26:14 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have the same game in America, but I don't think it's called anything in English.
TrashTierZarya ยท 4947 points ยท Posted at 00:46:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMPOSSIBLE PUZZLE ONLY .00001% OF PEOPLE CAN SOLVE THIS!!!!!!! CAN YOU?????
MFN_00 ยท 1205 points ยท Posted at 01:06:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAVE TO SEE THE FOURTH SOLUTION !!!!
SheeEttin ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 01:52:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ART TEACHERS HATE HIM!!!
xXKiller_SquidXx ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 02:05:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOW HE DID IT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!
8ioHazardous ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 03:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY JESUS FUCKING TITBALLS CHRIST CLICK THIS LINK IT WILL LITERALLY TURN YOU INTO VAN GOGHVINCIROSS
PheonixInABreifcase ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:11:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GONE SEXUAL (NOT CLICKBAIT)
self_me ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*not clickbait*
MrFurrberry ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:39:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds reasonable
PM_ME_YOUR_BOOTLEGS ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:10:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE FINAL SOLUTION!
nomadbynature ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ONE MAN FIGURED OUT THE SECRET. ARCHITECTS HATE HIM!
Truckstop_Abortion ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:38:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAVE TO SEE THE FINAL SOLUTION !!!!
ProbablyNotCocaine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:32:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler tried to
Canada_time ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:10:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he would have got away with it too, if it weren't for them damn Russians.
Gerardway17 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE 7TH PICTURE WILL SHOCK YOU!!!
SillyFlyGuy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I misread that as "final solution" and thought, well that's in bad taste talking to the Germans.
tsaurini ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:41:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clicks repeatedly on all the fake"next" buttons, gives up.
fucking buzzfeed/uproxx/cnn
sekketh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Solution 1: .....
Solution 2: .....
Solution 3: .....
Solution 4: liquid
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mandalorkael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't they move up to 9 after beating NV?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mandalorkael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah they 2-1 NV and I believe they were tied before that match so that should put them at 9 now XD. Though now, dropping Matt and putting Adrian in, it's gonna be wicked. Lourlo top, RO jungle, Piglet mid (so much better than GG), Doublelift/Adrian. Doublelift shot calling is making a huge difference imho
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mandalorkael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did. He left, got picked up for P1, then TL traded for him about the same time they picked up DL. They confirmed he is starting for them this week
codingQueries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:42:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ALWAYS BE KIND TO THE FIRST THREE, CLICK TO FIND OUT ALL ABOUT THE FOURTH!!!!
OhSoSorryWrongHole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAVE TO SEE THE FINAL SOLUTION! POLANDS HATE HIM!
IslayTzash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd think there would be more LOGO solutions.
mandalorkael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liquid?
DrQuint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHAHAHAH IT WAS WATER NOT MILK ONLY 15% GET IT RIGHT AHAHAHAHAHAHA
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:33:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was there and I saw what you did. I saw it with my own two eyes. You can wipe off that grin. We know where you've been. It's all been a pack of lies.
ClassBShareHolder ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:22:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
95% of people will get this wrong. Only for geniuses.
Zerotan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a "let us guess your education level" quiz. I scored 80% and it said I had "PhD" education and showed me a picture of Emma Watson in her grad garb.
I questioned the validity of the test.
wubalubadubscrub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I'm pretty sure I took that exact same quiz, and got the same result, Emma Watson and all.
I also question it's validity.
Sharp02 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:54:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GONE WRONG!!!
Andorod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GONE SEXUAL
autumnjones5316 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:13:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at the bottom left hand corner, go up and draw the left wall. Keep going and draw the left side of the roof and then the right side of the roof and then close the roof to draw the top line of the house, then cross (diagonal line )that to the right side of the house then up to build the right line, cross over to the bottom left hand corner and then build the bottom of it :) I was a pro.
Natiak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can solve it with your this one weird trick that art teachers hate!
NarejED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer will shock you.
NaG_CSGO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you typed this really really fast.
wtfpwnkthx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 PUZZLES THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY BLOOOW YOUR MIIND!!!
VehaMeursault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I splurted out my coffee. Thank you. And splurting is now a verb.
NukeML ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:27:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's called clickbait and all people of different languages hate it.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:28:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called drawing an Euler circuit
TheInfernalVortex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my first thought too, but he didn't say they couldn't retrace lines...
But probably.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:30:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheInfernalVortex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoops, guess I did miss it! I am going to go wallow in shame.
craizzuk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:12:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called the "draw a house without going over any lines or lifting the pen game"
AtheistDogNamedJesus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:48:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Played it growing up in Canada and I was never aware that it had a name either. We never questioned that.
Corollalover ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called Etch-a-sketch
bsrapp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:04:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit has led me to believe that one German word = an entire page of English.
Rynnikins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In art class, it's called a continuous line exercise.
lucidillusions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All over the world. And most don't have a name.
turicsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freedom House
BarryMacochner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
38 years in freedom.
never heard of it.
filenotfounderror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i always heard it as an envelope, not a house.
weinerschnitzelboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a game, more like something we do to practice drawing. It's just called continuous contour line drawings.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:37:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
boopbaboop ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's not what he's talking about. He's talking about this brain teaser.
wildo83 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:00:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Etch-a-sketch
sativacyborg_420 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:44:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Etch-a-sketch
LightChaos ยท 938 points ยท Posted at 23:35:12 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did a pretty good job of explaining it in english
Drigr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:03:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was more that the translation is t what we'd call it in English. For them ins Germany, it's "das haus vom nikolaus in einem zug zeichnen" or, draw a house in a train. At least that's how I interpreted it.
2_40 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would guess so too because Zug is a Teekesselchen (a homonym) in german. It can mean a bunch of things depeding on the context eg train, draft, drag or draw... Just a clever misinterpretation.
fcpeterhof ยท 1507 points ยท Posted at 22:25:51 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a German speaker, I loved this.
waffleking_ ยท 457 points ยท Posted at 00:11:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't speak German but I know how some words are made(it was from a thread on hee somewhee) and found it funny.
The worst case of "word+word+word..." was something like "Training Cadet at Plane School for Junior Cadets of Army" or some shit like that.
[deleted] ยท 444 points ยท Posted at 00:37:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In English, we just call that a plain old Junior Army Cadet Plane School Training Cadet. Nouns can modify nouns, we just have spaces.
waffleking_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 00:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also call them Pilots in Training.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:42:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, you could, but I've seen my share of way-too-long noun strings. Especially when something is written by a lazy bureaucrat who doesn't care about other people understanding them.
alkenrinnstet ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Java.
U8336Tea ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:52:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of the JuniorArmyCadetPlaneSchoolTrainingCadetFactory.
nephallux ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:26:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit we just went abstract.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have to turn back, this is Flatland.
BlueDrache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were just outside of the compiler ... when the drugs began to kick in.
Mammal-k ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are german run on words typically amalgamations of normal words? Like you mentioned we do the same with spaces.
If they are entirely new words that would be more difficult.
splatia ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:27:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Lots of languages do the same thing. Like when you hear the fact, "Inuits have over 100 words for snow!", it's the same thing. They have a couple words for snow, and hundreds of modifiers for it. It's like if you counted "soft rain" "driving rain" "light drizzle" "pouring rain" as different words for rain.
Mammal-k ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:01:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes perfect sense, thanks!
sfurbo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:35:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Inuit thing is kind of different. They take the compounding of words to the extreme where a whole sentence can be one "word". The example form Wikipedia is "Tusaatsiarunnanngittualuujunga.", which means "I can't hear very well.". To further quote WP:
At this point, a word in English stops being a good analogy.
splatia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:36 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a difference in the definition of a "word". Words don't appear once, sentences appear once. Which is a much more reasonable way to look at it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
splatia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite character!
BananaNutJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dolphin?
splatia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob McKenna
SirJefferE ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they're just compound words. We do the same thing in English. Call something a 'flower pot' enough times and it eventually becomes a flowerpot. It's just more common in German.
I've been learning the language for a while now and it's honestly something I find quite convenient. If you don't know the words involved you're going to have a bit of trouble, but if you do understand the base words, you can usually figure out what the new one translates to. For example, I saw the word 'Zahnarzt' yesterday. I had never seen the word before, but 'Zahn' translates to 'Tooth' and 'Arzt' to 'Doctor', so it wasn't hard to figure out.
Meanwhile if you're learning English, you might know 'tooth' and 'doctor' but you can't really piece out 'dentist' from that.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:39:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we have that too in Dutch. Just stick words together, but not adjectives. A spot to park your car? It's a carparkingspot, all together. (Well but then in Dutch instead of english)
Mammal-k ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes perfect sense but also quite funny because we have a lot of colloquial "mashed up" words in the north west of England too.
XenonTheFox ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:09:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whomst'd've
Mammal-k ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wantowtfromshop pronounced quickly and mumbley. Point of pride confusing people at uni with my northern bollocks talk.
BlueDrache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Cockney Rhyming Slang.
Slanderous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
putwoodi'thoyl on 'tway out willya
WH1PL4SH180 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thaiwordshavenospaces And 44 consonants and 23 vowels wtf
BananaNutJob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:29:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's on Pine Lake Grove Church Creek Road.
nouns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do what now?
Uusis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:47:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if you are mixing that up with the longest Finnish word which has similar meaning:
"Lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas"
Hakobus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suomi mainittu. Let's spell at the marketplace.
pitir-p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you just smash the words together or are there any suffixes there?
Uusis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That word is just words together.
Tho you could break it down one by one:
lento = fly, flight; kone = machine; lentokone = flying machine = air plane;
suihku = shower, jet; turbiini = turbine; moottori = motor; suihkuturbiinimoottori = jet engine (turbine is probably unnecessary)
apu = help, assist; mekaanikko = mechanic, engineer; apumekaanikko = assisting mechanic;
ali = under, lower; upseeri = officer; oppilas = pupil, student;
aliupseerioppilas = un-commissioned/sub-officer student.
One way to determine if you can mix too words is to put an adjective in between them:
palo = fire; auto = car, truck; paloauto = fire truck;
palo punainen auto -> doesnt really fit in Finnish word structure, so it's paloauto.
epรคjรคrjestelmรคllistyttรคmรคttรถmyydellรครคnsรคkรครคnkรถhรคn is one extreme example of Finnish language, as it's just a one word with tons of presuffixes and one suffix (epรค = un).
Someone has said it would mean something like:
One reasonable long together-mashed word is elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto; elintarvike = food; turvallisuus = safety; virasto = office; elintarviketurvallisuusvirasto = food safety office.
pitir-p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recall reading somewhere that Turkish and Finnish are very similar languages but based on what you wrote I highly doubt it. We too have very long words in Turkish but we make them with suffixes. We can stick a long sentence in a word using only suffixes. A popular example being รekoslavakyalฤฑlaลtฤฑramadฤฑklarฤฑmฤฑzdanmฤฑลsฤฑnฤฑz. It means "it is said that you're one of those whom we failed to convert to be a checkoslavakian."
Any chance Finnish is gender neutral?
Uusis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They might be similar, but Finnish is in the Finno-Ugric language family with Hungarian and Estonian.
Finnish is gender neutral yeah, we only have "hรคn" for both male and female "he/she".
Also we dont have any "a / an" things for our words.
pitir-p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's why they are similar I guess. Turkish is also gender neutral.
lumbarrabmul ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:07:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
German here (and teacher :)
You mean Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitรคtenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizit%C3%A4tenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft
That word is NOT a used word, but technicaly a correct german word. We are allowed to concatenate words. Simple real world example:
Englisch: "The leg of a dog"
German "Hundebein" where Hund = dog and Bein = leg.
Englisch: "The roof of a birdhouse"
German: "Vogelhausdach" where Vogel = bird, "House = Haus", "Dach = Roof".
But as you see, even in english you do this "the birdhouse" instead of "the house of the bird". We just go one step further.
And that crazy Donau-Thing is made up to make a point. :)
edit: typo
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rindfleischetikettierungsรผberwachungsaufgabenรผbertragungsgesetz
nickkon1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:02:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is supposed to be the official short title for this law.
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course! The full name is "Gesetz zur รbertragung der Aufgaben fรผr die รberwachung der Rinderkennzeichnung und Rindfleischetikettierung", which is about 70% longer.
And about 200% easier to read, but who cares.
Slanderous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colloquially in English you can say 'dogleg' but it's used to refer to a long distance travelled to get between two places which are located relatively close together.
In a sentence-
"This road is blocked, you can take that way but it's a bit of a dogleg"
ferrouswolf2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:57:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ever heard of Rhubarb Barbara?
Video for the lazy: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gG62zay3kck
nickkon1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:05:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the good old Rhabarberbarbarabarbarbarenbartbarbierbierbarbรคrbel.
HHcougar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
underrated comment.
This video is funny, even if you don't speak German.
themuffinmann82 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats the funnies thing av read for fuckin ages a really needed that THANKS upvote for you
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:17:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure you've understood this correctly. In German, and at least a few related languages, you could literally make a word go on forever by adding more modifiers. Comparing these to English words when it comes to length is nonsensical.
ButtsexEurope ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:20:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Finnish, not German.
SurprisedPotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite word in German was in a story about a squirrel who climbed a hill to get nuts. The hill, naturally, was called a "Nussschalen." Well, actually Nuรschalen, but that's nowhere near as interesting as a word with a triple letter.
effinzebras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are many german words with triple letters now. Schifffahrt for example.
barkface_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A nutshell actually is a Nussschale ever since the spelling reform of 1996 - ร is only used after a long consonant now, all instances of ร after a short consonant became ss.
Your hill might be one of the exceptions, though: Proper names are, of course, not changed (Which is why an advertising column is still a Litfaรsรคule)
R126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nussschale means nutshell in english.
msdesireeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google the longest German word. The Google lady will say it and it even has a very odd meaning. You will enjoy.
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is no longest German word. Due to word compounding German words can be virtually infinite.
The longest word in official use, however, was "Rindfleischetikettierungsneuordnungsaufgabenรผbertragungsverordnung".
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im Dezember 2003 wurde durch die im November 2007 wieder aufgehobene Grundstรผcksยญverkehrsยญgenehmigungsยญzustรคndigkeitsยญรผbertragungsยญverordnung (GrundVZรV, 67 Buchstaben) ein neuer Rekord aufgestellt, die ihren Gewinn allerdings dem Bestandteil Verordnung zu verdanken hatte
msdesireeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok. Did you Google it? It sounds like you know German better than Google, and that's fine.
I didn't defend the Google result I just said there was one and it was interesting to hear.
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am German and that law was from my state.
But as I said. German words are of virtually infinite length. I could easily compound some more words at the end of the word and the result would still be a meaningful word.
"Rindfleischetikettierungsneuordnungsaufgabenรผbertragungsverordnung" means "statute on the transferral of duties during the re-arrangements in the field of beef labeling". It is that long since German, like most languages except English, uses the name of the animal compounded with the word for "meat" to describe the meat of a farm animal. In this case "Rindfleisch", literally "cattle-meat". Also the word "Etikettierung" for "labeling", which is taken from French, is rather long.
An example for a possible longer word would be: "Rindfleischetikettierungsneuordnungsaufgabenรผbertragungsverordnungsschlichtungskommission", which would be the arbitration committee for the aforementioned statute.
msdesireeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for your comment. It was very interesting. As a non German speaker, the best part of googling the so called longest word was hearing the Google lady say it.
I am disappoint I cannot hear you say the long word you typed.
Potatoe_Master ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, what does that translate to?
waffleking_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In German, I have no idea. In English we just call it a Pilot in Training
Cobbleking32486 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:47:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wife of the deputy to the captain of the Danube Steamboat Company.
medicff ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 01:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite German words are the ones for nurses, ambulances and hospitals. Krankenvagen is ambulance. Krankenhaus is hospital. Krankenschwester is nurse. Literal translation kranken = torture.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
medicff ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:21:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's unfortunate. Google lied to me! That bastard
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
medicff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Torture is female.... so many jokes there that I'll just ignore. It seemed really funny the torture would be used in with medical names. Because, well, medicine is pretty medieval. Ever watched a reduction of a shoulder or hip? It's ridiculous
Hypertroph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked the direction of your translation. I take it English isn't your first language?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hypertroph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it is excellent. I just thought it was funny how you said what the English means in German, rather than what the German means in English. Otherwise, I would have had no idea. Schรถnen Tag noch!
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Sketch History
Scyhaz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Translations for all of those are ambulance = sick-car, hospital = sick-house, and nurse = sick-sister. I love how literal German can be!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in the mountains.
Rkhighlight ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:55:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
German has many compound words that make so much sense and are easy to remember โ like Handschuh (hand shoe) for glove. If you're learning English as a German you're constantly wondering why you have to learn so many different vocabularies. Just use the words I already know ffs!
2_40 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily you can look up the vocabularies in the word book :D
DyxlesicEsikom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:31:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of words like that in Japanese too. My favorites are "hand neck" for wrist, "foot neck" for ankle, aaaand "milk/boob neck" for nipple. The whole body is just made of necks.
Wobbelblob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Torture would be Folter.
greenoranges ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:17:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only German I can speak is "Natรผrlich ist er nass, hans. Er steht unter einem wasserfall"
queueseven ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:45:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But....why?
singingnettle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:15:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weil er unter einem Wasserfall steht.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typisch Hans
Kouzai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sei kein Hans.
TheGreatTempenstein ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:05:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been learning German on and off for 7 years and I only realized today that "Zug" is an onomatopoeia of an old steam train.
Now I'm sitting here saying "ZUG ZUG ZUG ZUG, CHOO CHOO!"
edit: the actual word origin is from the old german word for pull
whatsmellslikeshart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather is to tell a total dad joke with a punchline something like ich habe die Fenster gegessen or something but I can't for the life of me remember it. Anybody?
Mikehideous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who enjoys fun words, I love what Germans call speed bumps.
barkface_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Verkehrsberuhigungsbodenwelle?
Mikehideous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome :)
Maverick842 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Blaupunkt?
empressofglasgow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here
KingreX32 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 23:46:35 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same game exists for English speakers. Not sure it has a name though. What you have to do is the same but no lines can cross eachother and you can't go over any lines again. I never could do it.
abrokensheep ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One trick, (which works for not doubling back, doesn't help not crossing over), is too look for vertices (corners) with an odd number of lines coming out of them. If there are none, it doesn't matter where you start. If there are 2 you start at one and finish at the other, and if there are more than 2 then it is impossible.
Edit: I'm pretty sure, if you start at the start, always leave at least one undrawn line into the end until you're done, and whenever entering a vertex, exit via an adjacent edge, it will work.
Sights101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love going on reddit to procrastinate Comp Sci stuff and then seeing Eulerian Cycles and how to find them.
vampirelibrarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you math often
abrokensheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a pretty accurate description of me.
Purple-Penguin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You start with the roof. Unless it's the one that looks like an envelope, in which case this works: https://snapguide.com/guides/draw-a-house-with-one-pen-line-no-crossing-over/
themuffinmann82 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you start with the door then do the bricks,then get really into it ta da masterpeice
TheSundanceKid45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently there are a bunch of ways to draw it. I did it a different way than you linked to, before I saw your link, just to see if I could remember, and then when I asked my boyfriend to try it he did it a different way than you or I did.
retief1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The general rule is based on the number of lines that go into each point. If there every point has an even number of lines attached to it, start anywhere -- it is nearly impossible to fail. If two points have odd numbers of lines and the remaining points have an even number of lines, you have to start at one of the odd points. You should almost automatically end at the other odd point. If 4 or more points have an odd number of lines, it is impossible to solve the problem. See the konigsberg bridge problem and eulerian paths for more info.
verygenericname2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought this one was easy.... You start at the bottom left, draw the square, then go bottom left to top right, then do the roof, then go top left to bottom right.
h-dawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lines cross then
retief1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at bottom left, go to middle, go to bottom right, go back to bottom left, go up to top left, go to peak of roof, go to top right, go back to top left, go to middle, go back to top right, go to bottom right.
If you don't want an X in the middle, start at one of the top corners and do whatever the hell you want. It is literally impossible to fail from either top corner.
PaintedSteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to do something similar for a drawing class, not the house or crossing lines part, but it's called contour drawing. The idea is drawing somethings outline while not looking at the page.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contour_drawing
HulkingSack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to start and stop on the bottom corners.
These two corners have 3 lines intersecting rather than 4. So at these points you can start/finish and pass through once. The points with 4 lines intersecting you can only pass through.
These shapes can only be drawn if 2 corners have an odd number of intersections and the rest are even OR all intersections have 4 lines.
Learnt this in maths at the 18...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:39:40 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warte, did he draw the house in a train without breaking the rules?
effinzebras ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 22:46:37 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally broke the rules. House had a chimney, some windows.. whole thing was a masterpiece.
NoNeedForAName ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:17:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually translates pretty well. We might not normally say "drawing in a train" in English, but it's an expression that we can understand.
RealBillWatterson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing someone getting in a line and drawing it while waiting for the bathroom.
buttaholic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:49:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that where you draw the house with the "x" inside it?
Aurora_Fatalis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember doing something like that in elementary school.
In Norwegian the words for "arithmetic calculation" and "rain" are homophone. The task was to draw a picture of something to calculate ("Regnefortelling") - I drew how my porch looks on a rainy day instead.
Yojihito ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:43:09 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Das Haus ...
effinzebras ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:47:28 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sigh. reddit isn't that different from real life afterall. thanks for pointing it out
prim3y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We learn this in art classes. It's commonly called Contour Line Drawing in English, or Continuous Contour Line Drawing.
LegendOfPublo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love German. Instead of making new words, you just stitch together what you already have into Frankenstein-ish 20-letter abominations.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a german I'd guess "Zug" stems from "ziehen" which translates to "pull". It's not to farfetch'd to assume that "in einem zug" would translate to "in one go" or a similar english expression. Personally I find it funny that "ziehen" also translates to "draw" as in "horse-drawn carriage" which is coincidentally also "draw" as in "draw a picture"
And just because I'm bored I'll add some additional fact. There is no way to draw that specific house in one go without drawing the same edge twice and to end up at the starting spot. It's a eulerian path, but not an eulerian cycle.
jekyl42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, the etymology of "draw" is from the Old English "dragan" (also the root of the modern English "drag"), which is related to the German "tragan."
Also, nice additional fact. Time for me to go learn about eulerian paths.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
roadkilled_skunk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:31:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ey Dragan!" "Ey Alda!"
Wuktrio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:57:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But 'tragen' is, which I guess is similar to 'tragan' and would make sense.
jekyl42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Might be an Old German word? I based that on the dictionary's given etymology.
RealBillWatterson ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's three letters bruh
KeybladeSpirit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know any German besides "Achtung, baby!" but I found the wordplay there hilarious.
SlynxT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew that game was German! I saw that game on a cereal box once and have remembered it since
glitter-and-trauma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did this as a brain teaser in my school in England too!
theskepticalsquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to play this game! Didn't know it was German or that it had a name! I'm American
seestheirrelevant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that house exercise. Weirdly, I learned it in shop class.
TrudeausGreatHair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start at the bottom right corner of a "square C" , go left, up, right, draw a triangle roof over the top, go diagonal from top left to bottom right of the C, turn the C into a box by going straight up, then go diagonal to finish the X. Then draw a fucking train!
And you're done. /r/restofthefuckingowl
Gorstag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is seriously impressive. The best I have ever managed is to make a maze w/o lifting the pen.
Girlinhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did he draw the house in a train without lifting his pen?
y2k2r2d2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or didn't happen?
Erosthete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo I just did it in my head1
platinumsombro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
something something nikolaus something something dues vult
stussycrew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tough being German... I gave up explaining :)
habitsofwaste ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drawing without lifting the pen is called contouring drawing.
DragonToothGarden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just brought back memories that are over 36 years old. My mom grew up in Germany and she showed me that game when I was a little kid. I forgot all about it until reading your post. I can't stand my mom who is a narcissistic, violent lunatic, but this is one of the very few nice memories of her.
gianna_in_hell_as ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In one line?!
s3bbi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it would help the story if you would explain that Zug in German can be either a train or a move (if you use Zug in a game context).
Ditches101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did he do it without lifting the pen or drawing the same line twice
dedasdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is that the house thats basically a triangle and a square and the square has an X ?
metamongoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My German teacher loved the word Zug. Look it up in a dictionary - it has so many uses!
Wuktrio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zug also means turn. /u/cato_the_smelter already explained the root of the word.
gerkiwimurican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
German here. This test actually decided whether I started school at 6 or 7 (birthday is in August right at cut off date)... I started at 7.
jorrylee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my dad showing me that drawing and saying about Nikolaus. I thought he made it up. You've destroyed me. (Said the redditor in deadpan voice.)
BIG_GAPING_CUNT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He chose a dvd for tonight
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works since you explained the translation. It's like one of my favorite jokes. According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex? Funf.
awesomehuder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he actually manage to draw the train and the house "in einem zug"?
Swiftierest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't speak German, but my art background allowed me to get a kick out of it instead.
Chemie93 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haHA German Humor /s
Just kidding. I'm a German speaker too
sam8404 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schwarze Pete
Mrinsensitive- ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 03:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only fucking germans would find this funny
effinzebras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even germans find this funny. We're efficient and don't understand humor remember?
yaosio ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 02:22:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew Germans didn't understand their language, now I have proof.
Too_Young_For_This ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We understand our language perfectly well.
Small miscommunications happen to everyone.
journeyingnorth ยท 5990 points ยท Posted at 00:48:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something living" Fox "Name something non-living" Fox poop
thebully222 ยท 2854 points ยท Posted at 02:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better answer would be "dead fox."
chucklor ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 04:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Non-living means it was never alive, a dead fox was alive at some point, so that's actually a worse answer
Lilscribby ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 05:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So was fox poop, unless the fox ate only salt and water.
DuckysaurusRex ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 05:29:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't poop when it was alive, so technically not.
BackslidingAlt ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 05:39:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't a dead fox when it was alive either. So technically "technically" is not the best way to think about this.
Teeshirtandshortsguy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:44:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say poop satisfies the criteria better than dead fox though. A dead fox is still pretty much a fox, it's just dead now. Poop is when organic material is converted chemically (that's an important aspect here) to another material. There could be living things in the poop, or its materials may have come from living organisms, but it's still non-living.
TheGasMask4 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 07:41:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you people seriously arguing if a dead fox or fox poop is more alive?
Tysheth ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 09:05:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're arguing whether a dead fox or fox poop is less nonliving. We're being pedantic here; try to keep up.
machinarius ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:23:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This can only happen on reddit.
Jezza672 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dead Fox will chemically decompose chemically also, to be fair...
nmotsch789 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:31:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But is the decomposition a chemical one?
UnderstandPhysics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the real question is, Is it a freshly dead fox or a decomposing dead fox?
journeyingnorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I counted it as correct. And then laughed my ass off.
Ttoctam ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:41:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No but it was a fox. You don't call food live poop.
BackslidingAlt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:42:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe YOU don't
super_aardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call it unborn poop.
chucklor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen fox poop that was alive, you got a video of it?
willkydd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually fix poop is teeming with bacteria so in some ways very much a alive.
Milo359 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
willkydd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, fix it dammit! :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZDuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm in a loop about whether or not the hunk of wood I'm sitting on is or was alive.
colita_de_rana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even in a live tree the wood and bark are not alive
YiWreckShen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poop Lives matter!
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 05:58:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GGuitarHero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not at all
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GGuitarHero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the poop lives matter movement has not marginalized the black lives matter movement in any way. Btw, I'm rather skinny, colored, and my shoes are only called tacky by people with no sense of style
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GGuitarHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No lives matter
Shalafi917 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've also never seen a dead fox alive.
markayates ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bacteria in the poop are alive. A rock would be a better example of a non-live thing - unless it was sedimentary. Then that too was once alive :)
yolibobchris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's biotic vs. abiotic. Living and non-living are meaningless distinctions.
doorbellguy ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:58:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or ded snek.
EpicLegendX ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:05:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ded boye (is not ded, just pretending)
Maggoats ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:25:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GRAY FOX?!
Hero_of_Hyrule ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're that ninja...
dverlik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post gave me FOXDIE
Aleschu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:57:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something non-living", dead mouse. "Name something living", deadmouse
tacocatisonfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
miguelz509 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a dead fox would be dead, not non-living, non-living refers to something that was never alive or dead, like a metal beam or a computer.
Aoae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/morbidreality
scottamus_prime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Guy Fox
Rizzpooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or Red Foxx
willkydd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In biology nonliving is different from dead. It means it was never alive. Rocks for example.
PM_me1bitcoin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or red fox
c0ldsh0w3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fox Die?
Killinger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment currently has 666 upvotes. Since you're talking about dead animals, I see it fitting that I don't upvote, changing the number to 667.
shwadevivre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah way to one up that child
Illisakedy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't Dead Open Inside
jrubs38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bigger answer would be: Cow, and then when asked for something non-living say steak
Forkyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is dead may never die
Thiago270398 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something living"
Fox
"Name something non-living"
Grey Fox
spiral_divergence ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:06:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedmetalgearfeels
70astralaxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon.
Computermaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'M SO FUCKING CRAZY!!!
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 02:46:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you count the entire system of micro organisms in the poop, it's living too.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are micro organism in water.
That doesn't make water alive.
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then how do you explain the tides smart guy?
FatTyrtaeus ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:24:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Kraken
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate, Kerbals.
ClydeDog ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:16:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tide goes in, tide goes out... you can't explain that.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poseidon.
heyomayo- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:05:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
smol skyboi doin a gravity with some help from big ol' warm skyboi
der_geraet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:50:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Water is an inorganic molecule. Poop however is a composition of inorganic and organic molecules as well as microorganisms.
OP student was wrong.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would consider the sea as a system living though
82Caff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OOOOOoooooOOOOOooooocean!
82Caff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poop is made mostly water (75%, comparable to humans). ~2.5% to 5% is misc. other inorganic matter. That leaves ~20% - 22.5% of explicitly organic matter.
The human body, by comparison, is ~78% (children) to 55% (adult woman) water, with an estimated 1.5% misc inorganic content. Resulting, 20.5% - 43% of human bodies are organic.
Poop is about as alive/organic as a baby.
NotSoScary555 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:27:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid will grow up to be a furry leader one day
Scorpius289 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And into scat as well.
Level21 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:42:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schrรถdinger's cat
ActualChamp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm sorry, the answer we wanted for number two was "Fox News."
zkroak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:22:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something lying" Fow News
DrobUWP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:08:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something non-living"
chicken left with fox
underspikey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:59:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean technically that depends on the freshness, doesn't it?
Flying__Penguin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:55:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
regardless of how fresh that poop is, it is not capable of respirating, maintaining homeostasis, or self-replicating. So, no.
rotospoon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:41:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well not with that attitude
RadtasticAmanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's according to your definition of poop. I'm a microbiologist, and I think of a stool sample as living.
Flying__Penguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so what's your definition of poop?
breadfan01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably shit.
journeyingnorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To a 7-year old, poop is non-living. And I'm okay with that!
LHOOQatme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When confronted with this question at school, I drew a dead wolf XD
dekallium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I may ask, WHY!?
LHOOQatme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No clue. I didn't even remember that until the day my mother was seeing my old elementary school stuff and came across that
dekallium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's the reason behind most things.
Vinny_Gambini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redd Foxx
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Playing Anomia with friends, my friend got a palindrome. Poop.
MichaelNevermore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something living" a dog "Name something non-living" my dog
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something living"
Fox35
JustSomeKiddd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dead fox," would also suffice.
Junglepuker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poop is teeming with life. Better answer: Redd Fox.
DerNeander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student I always hated it, when I had multiple witty answers to a question in an exam but could only give one. Choosing the funniest one might have cost me a grade or two.
journeyingnorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the thing- that kid was NOT trying to be witty. This 7-year old just wrote what came to his interesting little mind.
DerNeander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a cool guy.
journeyingnorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sure was. :)
jsnystro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I answered a similar question "cow" "dead cow"
Catchingtrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fix poop is very much alive.
Eric_the_Barbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But poop is a vibrant if ephemeral ecosystem.
Computermaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name something living"
Fox
"Name something non-living"
Fox News
kawsneffectx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if someone answered "my mom" for the non living... Jesus haha
kempsishere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A+
jmeeezy ยท 12140 points ยท Posted at 02:08:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote an exam where the question was "Can you name three *models of DNA replication?"
she wrote, "No."
SOwED ยท 3511 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that was bad question writing on your part.
Edit: For those saying that something like "Name three types of DNA replication." would still result in the student writing "No." you should recognize that this is equivalent to leaving the question blank with the original wording. It was a valid answer to the question; it's not a valid response to the above rewording.
jmeeezy ยท 1958 points ยท Posted at 05:22:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha it so was, and I realized it after I saw her response. I was like, "well. I guess I could've worded that differently."
fucktimothy ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 05:32:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did she get any marks for it?
jmeeezy ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 05:34:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol no I didn't give her any points, but I wrote "good one" on the side as a little self-esteem boost!
Ibiapaba ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 06:13:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course she didn't get points. The correct answer was "yes."
lol_and_behold ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 07:46:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you describe three kinds of DNA replication?
"Yes"
How would you describe three kinds of DNA replication?
"Cleverly"
Spearsy23 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Describe three kinds of DNA replication.
ameya2693 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:01:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok.
killerrin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:26:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are three models of DNA replication.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are processes by which DNA can be replicated
Munkyman720 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not important right now.
ameya2693 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Ubersupersloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Difficult
hellofellowstudents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...shit...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first one, the second one, and the third one.
somethingoddgoingon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I miss better off ted. Veronica is my spirit animal.
lookalive07 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Three what?
Speed
toastyghost ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 06:21:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in her case.
[deleted] ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 06:25:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she told the truth.
5up3rK4m16uru ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which means she should have gotten full points.
Rirere ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:02:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you know? You'd have to test her again!
HotTyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough cleavage.
splitcroof92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you can write them down, you just need to know the answer but you can definitely write them down.
fucktimothy ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:35:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I figured. Won't stop me from trying it myself!
ilike8008 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the answer.Give me some points.
TheAlanaleilani ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
phunnypunny ยท -72 points ยท Posted at 06:05:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't do that. She knew what she was doing.you're encouraging non-serious test taking! A teacher did that to me and it ruined my school carrier. I made joke answers whenever I could, talking so long to think of good jokes to make my teacher laugh, I didn't have time to go over questions I could have gotten right. They don't need self esteem boosts, that's what friends are for. They need knowledge boosts.
tDewy ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 06:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think most students would abandon looking for the right answer in favor of exclusively telling jokes just because the teacher wrote "good one" by their response.
Usershipdown ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think something can still be salvaged from your carrier.
calafragilistic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On second thought, it's talking a long time to think of how...
Eatapear ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh A teacher ruined your school career. He was out to get you huh?
BFinger ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as she (or you. Or whoever) isn't getting points on the test for the joke answer, then I don't see a problem with it. Getting a "haha, yea, that's funny but no points" from the teacher, (to me, at least) would help to humanize the instructor, clearly demonstrate that: yea, you're funny, but that doesn't give you marks on the test, and give the student a sense of "I know I don't know this and it's been communicated to the instructor, now, that I don't know this". And as long as both parties follow-up on that and try to get the student to understand then that's a net gain. Sure, the student does poorly on that test, but we've identified what they don't know and can address it. TL;DR: I don't see a problem with instructors acknowledging joke-answers as long as A) no test-points are given and B) both parties follow-up to tackle the acknowledged gap in student knowledge. (Disclaimer on formatting: drunk on mobile)
calafragilistic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Booooooo
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:33:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not, this is the real world, not a comedy sketch. Everyone understands what that question is asking for.
Sooolow ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:01:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From what I understand, we are living in a simulation. Therefore this is not the real world.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
key phrase here "From what I understand"
octopoddle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:55:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"From what the machine that creates our reality lets me understand."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mind blown
Lynx436 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Define "real"
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:06:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right...
ilike8008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your right is my left.
calafragilistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether it's the right one or the left one, a nice 717 is a nice 717
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if we face eachother
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:04:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always hated the "why do you think" in science based classes. Like, this is a science class, so you're not marking me on my writing ability, so wtf kind of answer do you want to get proper marks? Always ended up having to write so much just to cover all my bases and make sure one of the things I wrote is what the teacher just expected me to guess was the right thing to write.
sillyhumins ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:06:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a biochemist, it really took me a while to realize what this question was asking. I was thinking bidirectional/prokaryotic, unidirectional/eukaryotic, and reverse transcription/retroviral, bit of a weird bunch of things to lump together. It's honestly a shit question.
jmeeezy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, it's hard to answer out of context. it was more modeled after the way her textbook was written. she was 13, so it was pretty straightforward. there was literally a paragraph with the heading "Scientists considered these 3 models of DNA replication" with the three in bullet points lol. I think she could've gotten it!
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:22:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is a fair assumption that she'd understand that. But also teaching kids to parrot from a textbook probably isn't the best practice.
Because if the test is catered to the specific way things were learned in class, but the kid had an alternative way they learned or understood that info, they can run into trouble.
I didn't end up going to school in my second half of year 12, and I only did really well in chemistry because the questions weren't relying on me having been in class, they only relied on me having the correct knowledge. And I had a guide of what I needed to know, so I could learn it whichever way I wanted. Since the structure of the classes actually ended up with me being more confused than if I went and taught myself.
Souffle01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:27:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an MSc biochemistry student and I thought pretty much the same thing you did at first. I had to sit there for a while until it dawned on me that the question was asking for the three MODELS of DNA replication. Really unclear question.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thinking back, I believe I may have written "three theories/hypotheses" or "three models." it was many years ago, and I just hammered out this reddit post really quickly (didn't expect it to blow up, ha!) the real question most likely wasn't worded exactly as written above.
Souffle01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yeah, fair enough! That makes more sense.
girl_inform_me ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:10:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then there's the issue of what are you calling "different". Obviously reverse transcription and normal replication are different since they have different templates, but otherwise things are going to get down to semantics (prokaryote vs eukaryote, eukaryote vs vertebrate etc.)
Not to mention that the dispersive and conservative are not types of DNA replication, they were just possible modes that needed to be investigated.
Ozimandius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you just did the chapter in the book that talked about Watson and Cricks proposal of the double helix and their three proposed models; conservative, semiconservative, and dispersive.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was about DNA replication, making the only two correct answers mitotic or meiotic. Transcription is in no way related to DNA replication, but protein synthesis, and the other two categories you mention are not ones I've ever heard used to distinguish DNA replication types. Were you straining to fit an answer to the oddly worded question?
nitori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're a bit confused here. Reverse transcription is something done by viruses to convert RNA into DNA, and is not related to protein synthesis.
Furthermore, while you may not have heard of it, the difference between prokaryotic and eukaryotic replication is real.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, his answer was so strange right off the bat, I missed the "reverse" in reverse transcription. As for prokaryotic vs. eukaryotic DNA replication, I'm aware that there are differences, but those are beyond the scope of a grade school test, which I presumed it was from the imprecise language of the question.
sillyhumins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are all types of replication, prokaryotes replicate DNA from one site in both directions along the chromosome, hence, bidirectional, eukaryotes have multiple origins of replication that all go in one direction along the chromosome (unidirectional), and retrovirus don't have DNA, they have RNA and special packaged enzymes (this is a polymerase called reverse transcriptase, it's called that because it makes DNA out of RNA, which is essentially reverse transcription) it's still replication though.
Also there's no difference between mitotic and meiotic DNA replication, there's crossing over but both processes use the same enzymes to actually synthesize new DNA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all are ridiculous. Answering what was very obviously a grade school question with advanced answers is dumb. That's why the question confused you.
sillyhumins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:09:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well dispersive and conservative replication don't actually happen so I wouldn't consider it a type of DNA replication, in any case, you're clearly the dumb one for answering a "grade school" question with an incorrect answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer is grade school correct. Know your audience.
sillyhumins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:39:48 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not even grade school correct, there's nothing different about meiotic and mitotic replication, and that's only 2 things. Go learn some grade school bio
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, it is a perfectly acceptable grade school question to ask about the two main types of DNA replication that occurs in eukaryotic cells, with the expected answer being meiosis and mitosis. The two processes are in fact different, as any grade school biology student knows. You're just being autistically retarded about the question's intended audience and purpose because you like being a dick. Go die in a fire.
sillyhumins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:04:05 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol the question asked for 3 types of replication, what it was asking for was the theee hypothetical models tested with nitrogen isotopes, conservative, dispersive, and semiconsecative, which is the only one that actually occurs, you're retarded because the mitosis and meiosis refer to cell cycle of somatic vs sex cells, they have nothing to do with DNA replication.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:19 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, silly me, I had no idea mitosis and meiosis had NOTHING TO DO with DNA replication. Clearly I'm dealing with a scholar and master of cell biology.
sillyhumins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:07 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess now you know, here's a cool picture that hopefully even you will be able to understand, if you look reeeal real close in the middle of the picture, you can see that both meiosis and mitosis begin with the exact same DNA replication step. http://fig.cox.miami.edu/~cmallery/150/mitosis/c13x8meiosis-comparison.jpg
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:06 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, you're a moron.
sillyhumins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:06 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you don't understand it doesn't make me a moron, sorry I couldn't help, but maybe you could help yourself by not projecting your own ineptitude onto others
fucktimothy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I ask you?
myothercarisaboson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no
PM-SOME-TITS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:03:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't ask you if he had asked you before.
death_by_deskjob ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:35:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, just your daily reminder from the Internet that fuck you! And now... fuck you twice! [:<
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
paulusmagintie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no clue tbh
super_aardvark ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:13:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still remember a question from a 7th grade science test.
My answer: One.
I complained to the teacher about it being marked wrong, and to his credit he asked why I answered the way I did, and then asked how I thought the question should have been worded.
skud8585 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:22:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a question like "which one has the least hydrogen: 1 mol of water, 1 mol of gasoline, 1 mol of carbon dioxide"
The "correct" answer was water. Even though carbon dioxide has NONE. Because "he meant it as which, out of the ones that have hydrogen" which isn't the way it was worded. I took 3 beakers that we had with food coloring from a previous experiment. Made, red, purple, and green in front of him with different amounts of food coloring and asked him which had the "least red" and he said the purple one. WHAT THE FUCK MR HAWKINS.
super_aardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha. That's like the time the newspaper ran a little survey about the comics on the comics page, to find out which they should drop to make room for new ones. After I filled out the survey, my dad took a look and asked me about my response to "Which comic is your least favorite?" The one I'd listed was one I liked, he thought, and he wondered why I hadn't listed one of those he knew I detested. I explained that those aren't among my favorites, so I didn't select them as my "least favorite".
I was eight. I guess Mr. Hawkins's dad never taught him that lesson.
Want_To_Live_To_100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another perspective is that the point of the test would be to find out if the student has the knowledge/understanding of the subject. So if they answer no they would lose points and if they answer yes they should get full credit... If you assume the student is truthful, your simply asking if they know the answers, this would be such an efficient way to take exams; if the teacher has doubts the student is fibbing then you ask them to prove they "know the correct response", if they stumble they get a zero for the whole test
I don't think I would make a good teacher.
karnyboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are...
gamrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't remove the question, but just add an additional "now please do so" after that.
Inflatablespider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to change questions on our internal audit sheets after my auditor (but who audits the auditor that audits the auditor!) had me audit him and he answered half my questions with yes or no. I was a bit embarrassed.
a-r-c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have given her a point for creativity.
wittybit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did you give her any points?
CinnamonPro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand, its not like anybody got confused. She could not answer the question, but instead of feeling just bad she had a little chuckle and felt slightly witty. Edit: he - she
MnkyMcFck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:50:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair you could have written, "Name three types of DNA replication"
And she still would have written, "No."
SOwED ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:08:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No." is a valid response to the question. If you responded "No." to the wording you gave, it would be the same as leaving it blank.
MnkyMcFck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? They're both valid responses. The one in my example is a valid response of defiance. In either case the answer is incorrect, so what does it matter?
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:40:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're wrong though. It's a valid response to the question, and a correct answer to the question if she actually didn't know.
If you ask someone to list three things, and they don't, that's not a valid response and so isn't correct. Choosing not to answer a question and writing "No." to a task worded as an imperative are the same thing.
nice_usermeme ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 09:09:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? She answered your question, it was your fuckup. You're a terrible teacher and kids hate you. Also you're fat.
Paradoxa77 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:32:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to get rid of YN questions is so hard :( i still slip up all the time. "
Do you think this isis thisWHY is this right?IF THIS IS RIGHT, WHY?"Edit: good questions but try thinking of a hundred of them on the spot throughout your day! Lectures are the best public speaking practice...
newstudent_here ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:51:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if it's not right, I just leave the answer blank?
601error ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it is indeterminate. You can do anything, including declaring yourself emperor of the universe.
68W38Witchdoctor1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is my standard answer to pretty much any question, though. I suppose I took the old saying "Fake it until you make it" to heart.
_Count_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this right? Why?
GuruLakshmir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it should say "why or why not?"
Paradoxa77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had this facepalm before. Fun
SOwED ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:26:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My advice would be to forget about questions and simply give tasks.
"Name three types of DNA replication."
"Explain why this is right."
JustZisGuy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:16:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No."
SOwED ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's equivalent to leaving the original wording of the question blank.
SeriTools ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can still answer "no" to those. I think something like >My advice would be to forget about questions and simply give tasks.
"What are the three types of DNA replication?" and "Why is this right?" might work.
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could answer "I don't know." to those just just like answering "No." to the "Can you..." questions.
Saying "No." to an imperative statement is clearly not a valid answer, because you didn't do what the words told you to do. It's equivalent to leaving the question blank.
Misledz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life here, coming from an indian school, about 90% of the paper is based off questions like this, the 10% is the part you fill in your name.
mysistersacretin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is the answer below correct or incorrect? Explain your reasoning."
601error ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:09:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends, because I'm going to be a consultant.
Sinnertje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this correct? Motivate your answer.
TheNosferatu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:27:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once went into a discussion with a teacher for a question that she thought I answered wrong. I pointed out the question started with "What do you think is the correct answer to... <stuff>" even though my answer might not have been the correct answer to that stuff, I thought it was, therefore I answered correctly.
I was granted the point on the condition that I would never use that argument again because apparently the book was full of them.
Zuphixavex ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:29:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To your edit, the difference is most notable when answering "Yes." this is also a valid response to OP's first question, but not the reworded version.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, exactly. I can't believe how many people are trying to argue that "No." is equally legitimate in both cases.
Ozimandius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, the information the teacher was seeking was clear: he/she wanted to know whether you could name three models of DNA replication. And the teacher got that information out of the student. I don't see the problem. Just because the answer is true doesn't mean that you demonstrated your knowledge of the subject, which is the whole purpose of testing.
Rose94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is something I learned when I did a short course in child care, the majority of which was about communicating with children.
The number one thing I learned was to never say "Can you" because adults have this stupid thing where "Can you" means "Do it" and we just sort of accept it. But kids don't understand that weird double meaning thing yet. So if you ask a kid "can you help me clean up?" they're gonna not want to do it and think you gave them the option to say no. When you want a kid to do something you just tell them it's time to do it.
einzeln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who writes questions for a living, I agree. I'm sure the lesson was learned!
Artificial_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could still discredit her, now if she had said yes....
nocte_lupus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a badly worded question in a university level anatomy and physiology class. I believe the question had been written as something like 'Three methods of breathing' when it was actually meant to be 'Three methods of respiration' which are not necessarily the same thing and it threw everyone in my class off.
frog971007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if the student is old enough to be learning about models of DNA replication they're also old enough to know that that's not an appropriate answer.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's true, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a technically valid response to the question.
frog971007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then it's not bad question writing. No one in that classroom believes that writing "No" would receive points.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One person did!
frog971007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they didn't know the answer and put something funny instead.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A joke which is technically correct.
FireLucid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:57 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you think X means in the story?"
Should say "What does the maker think X means in the story".
spaghatta111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One is the answer to a question, and one is an outright refusal to comply.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a test. There's already a social contract in place that the test ought to be completed to the best of their ability.
spaghatta111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was sort of a joke, and I was responding to the edit. The response to the "can you" question means "no I can't." The response to the "please name 3 ..." is non-compliance
Muffins_McGee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's absolutely a valid response; all you've done is turn the question into a command, and you can easily deny a command. If I tell you "Give me one hundred dollars." and you say "No.", that is a perfectly valid response. Just because it's not as clever doesn't mean it's linguistically incorrect.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're forgetting the context here. I'm not talking about linguistics, and obviously not arguing that it's impossible to say "No" to a command.
We're talking about tasks on exams. Saying "No" to a "Can you..." question is technically correct, and an argument could be made that it deserves full credit. Saying "No" to a command is the same as leaving it blank, which obviously means you get no points.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:22:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's implicit, but a good test question should be explicit about what it wants.
LotusPrince ยท 508 points ยท Posted at 02:59:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Find X."
"Right here."
theconfuserx2 ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 05:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ x
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that would be easy. They even marked it for you.
TurtleCowz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is X?"
"The 24th letter of the alphabet."
WarLordM123 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 04:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that shit, man I should be studying.
only_says_the_s_word ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:55:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shit! :F
WarLordM123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:08:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D would be better. :C and :B also accepted, but really there's no way I should get and :A
romanozvj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best novelty account
brad-corp ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:43:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my high school teachers would tell a story about the time everyone in one of his university classes got full marks for an exam. The only question was, "write down everything you know about topic." apparently a dude immediately walked out, then challenged his zero mark stating he knew nothing about the topic and therefore did what he was asked. Everyone got full marks because they realised they couldn't actually assess if people wrote down everything they know or not.
Kerrigore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes, one of those mythical University exams that only have one question on them... you know, just like the real ones don't.
brad-corp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not for your degree, but I've had exams with a single question and the expectation is to write an essay in the 2 hours provided. In these exams, you're also normally able to take in a page of notes. Something which also actually happens.
shiguywhy ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 05:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A test once asked me a question and I had absolutely no fucking clue what the answer was. I just totally blanked on every possible answer, couldn't even come up with a hint of bullshit. So I drew a giraffe and wrote something like "this is the test giraffe, he represents the answer I would have put in if I'd studied". Teacher gave me a point and wrote "please study next time so the test giraffe doesn't have to make an appearance".
infinitentity ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school who did something similar. He took a remedial math class as an election because he liked the teacher. One of the tests had a question worded "illustrate a graph...yadayada"
He illustrated a giraffe.
Edit: Yes I meant elective.
TheFNG ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:52:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think math was the only remedial class your friend should've taken.
zwinky588 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:56:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing he meant "elective" as in it wasn't required and he took it by choice.
REDDITATO_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's probably what he meant by "as an election", but he also said it was a remedial class.
zwinky588 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He clearly says "took a remedial math class as an election(elective) because he liked the teacher." It's weird to me a school would allow that but it seems to me he was in there entirely by choice.
trollin_zebra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I take math for elections all the time, too.
gensouj ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:52:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why trump won?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Russians obviously did too.
Ansuz-One ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to doodle on my tests while thinking sometimes. I once drew a giraffe but I blanked on if they hade a tail or not. And wrote that next to it.
I got my test back with a printed image of a giraffe.
ShrimGods ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:42:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
geraffes are so dumb
Mondonodo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:59:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the reference, so I wanna upvote...but you always downvote "geraffes are so dumb"...
I'm conflicted!
GuruLakshmir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was grading a test for the prof and the student didn't know the answer, so she drew a dragon in the answer space. I think the prof said to give her partial credit iirc lol
uitham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like profs are so much more lenient in stuff like this than highschool teachers were lol
NotMyThrowawayNope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an English my class started something like this. Our teacher was known as "the shark" so one day a kid didnt know the answer and he drew a shark instead. By the next test we were all doing it and the teacher thought it was so hilarious that she gave us full points for them if they were drawn in a particularly witty or artistic way. It was a great year for me as a decent artist.
PhoenixDan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a little bit epic.
REDDITATO_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little bit epic is an oxymoron.
PhoenixDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you are reasonably blowing it out of proportion.
Antiliani ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:09:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next question: "Name three types of DNA replication"
TheShattubatu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:20:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next question "Prove it bitch"
Treegnome329 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:41:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've genuinely done that
Dumas_Vuk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:11:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. If it's not multiple choice, I'm not gonna bother guessing. But even more so there is something satisfying about just saying I don't know the answer.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can get at least some points out of that certainly.
"I know that something is something. The answer could then be something or something else, because of something."
Shows that you have some understanding of the conxept, which teachers seem to like.
Dumas_Vuk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't think of a situation that I have faced where this is applicable. I'm in Drafting. Either its draw this part and calculate that stress, or tell me the name of this jig type or that manufacturing process. Either I remember what something is called or I don't. Pretty black and white.
Could someone enlighten me with a realistic example please?
GuruLakshmir ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:06:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, suppose the test asks the student to describe the process of mitosis (cell division). The student can't remember all of the steps, but successfully describes the ones they know. They teacher may choose to give them partial credit.
Not every test is math or a singular answer...
Dumas_Vuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And not every non-singular question is worth more than one point. I see what you are saying, but lets go back to the beginning.
I prefer to write "I don't know" or leave the answer blank if I don't know an answer.
Neepersn says saying "I know that something is something. The answer could then be something or something else, because of something." could get you partial credit at least.
...That's all I got.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:49:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Celdarion ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 05:01:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semi-conservative, conservative, and dispersive replication. I think.
Dont_Push_The_Button ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is correct
Celdarion ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:12:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huzzah. Turns out I did learn something in school.
Zoomuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens if I push it?
purple_monkey58 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You become a filthy presser
BluntHeart ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if he pushes it real good?
DoctorPrower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh... push it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quangtit01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They eat it?
DoctorPrower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said
GoChaca ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:04:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are my liberal DNA?
jmeeezy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yep, that's the answer I was going for!
Celdarion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yay, I feel accomplished now!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:03:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't two of those wrong?
TechGearz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:06:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iirc they were all proposed mechanisms, of which only semi-conservative was proven correct
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:13:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DulcetFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You see, I was going a complete different route. I started with "theta replication" and then didn't know what else to put.
reachfell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, I was thinking along the lines of mitosis, meiosis, and binary fission. What a poorly worded question.
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, yeah it's a pretty random question out of context. but I mentioned it to a few other commenters who brought up the same point: it was modeled in the context of how her textbook answered it. she was 13, so it was a pretty straightforward paragraph.
Xelisyalias ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
oozles ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:04:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone post the Calvin and Hobbes where he discovers answering "I don't know" is an accurate and honest answer to every question on his homework
Lotfa ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go
Kerrigore ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Uh... sexual... cloning... shit I only got two... I'll just put 'No'".
thefilthythrowaway1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:11:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you give her the points?
jmeeezy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't, but I wrote, "good one" on the side to give her a little self-esteem boost lol.
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tsk. Bad teacher. No cookie.
The answer was correct, and "You should have understood what I meant" is the shittiest thing imaginable you could teach a kid.
jmeeezy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think if she'd gotten all the other answers correct, I would've given it to her. but she spent the rest of the exam drawing angry faces and middle fingers in the blanks so I really couldn't bring myself to give her any points haha.
SecondPantsAccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:41:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real context is in the comments.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:32:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nowhere in the real world does being an ignorant smartass give you points. It would be wrong to teach a kid that it does. /u/jmeeezy did the right thing.
cheezturds ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the POTUS.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but this is still an academic setting, and not a professional setting where people's lives and/or livelihoods depend upon someone knowing the answer that the situation requires.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to argue for your fault, I'll let you have it.
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:39:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software developer. Do you know what kind of software you get when you "assume you know what the user meant" instead of actually verifying it?
The Multistate Bar Exam is a multiple-choice exam that most states use as part of their Bar Exam. It's scored with a scantron scanner, but the software has a routine that will flag a question if a significant number of people give the same "wrong answer." When that happens, they go back into the test and look at the other answer to see if there's an ambiguity that might make it a "correct answer."
If it's ambiguous and confusing, they might just throw the whole question out. If it's ambiguous but clear-cut depending on your mindset when you read it, they'll give credit for the two "correct" answers.
My point is - the answer was absolutely, unequivocally correct. The teacher penalized the student for the teacher's mistake because "she should have known better."
That's certainly not how I taught my children.
jmeeezy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, I penalized her because she got almost every other question wrong and was obviously not taking the exam seriously. I never said that, so please don't put words in my mouth! or respond in a way that suggests you know any other background about my student and her exam history.
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote that after reading your other reply. I still think you missed a pretty good teaching moment.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
true! I also definitely learned to be more careful when wording my questions!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm working in a hotel, and a customer comes to the front desk and asks me, "Do you have a room available?" And say, "No, I have 28 rooms available," or, "Yes, I do. Bye, now!" I don't get points for that.
banjowashisnameo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:35:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the contrary, life is all about understanding ambiguous situations and meanings. Real life interactions and real job problems are only gonna be murkier where you have to guess what the other person/your boss wants
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:46:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So which is more likely to actually be a teaching moment:
?
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:36:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the realistic thing to teach a kid because that's how the world works. If you have no concept of context and implication, then you will absolutely fail at communication.
It's a biology test, it's bloody obvious that the question wanted you to name 3 types of DNA.
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:44:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By marking it wrong, the teacher falls into the ranks of "civil servant drones who don't really think for themselves."
If the teacher had marked the question right, but written "I'm giving you credit for this because it's technically correct, but in the future I expect you to ask if you're not sure" then the teacher would have vaulted to the top of the student's esteem and gained some serious traction with her.
But hey - I'm a GenXer - I still believe that teachers should teach how to think instead of just teaching them how to take the state-run tests.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher would have gained traction as a pushover and not taken seriously.Once word got out next test would be everyone grammar checking their Biology test for an easy pass. The only student respecting that type answer is in Kindergarten and having a "omg Mom! Listen to the answer I gave my teacher and it was right!" moment.
phunnypunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you're at it, play dangerous minds when you walk into class
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that making weird, small, and inconsistent changes in the system like this just creates a big mess and if we want to fix the problem we need to change the system, not just alter it so it kindofworksabitbettermaybe.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we point out how any point you're going to make will be ignored by starting off with "Tsk. Bad teacher. No cookie." Can I mention "You should have understood what I meant" was nowhere mentioned by the teacher and you just added that to validate your own statement? Finally you're scolding a teacher on her "oppurtunity to teach" without all the facts to the situation. Sounds like a kid drawing middle fingers on the test and snarky responses to questions had too many people in their life on your train of thought and let them get away with this shit all too often. "I'm not answering that question the way it's worded teacher. My dad says understanding intent is a way the machine keeps you down, so fuck the machine!snort" Can't wait to run into your kids in life. Here's a better teachable moment. The kid should have pointed out the ambiguity of the question in a positive manner and earned the points without being a dickhead. Edit: letters
DJ_Serious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the shittiest thing imaginable that you can teach a child is that they will be coddled for the rest of their lives.
Rattional ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i mean it is true...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My tutor at uni told us that once a question escaped through the QA system which included a "can you" question. Several students answered with a yes/no type answer and appealed when the answer was marked as wrong because the instructions on the exam were to answer the questions as written. They won the appeal and a "can you" question never escaped again.
Strider_91 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:14:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one can because one is correct and the other two are made up and don't even exist.
jmeeezy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:26:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ooh technically, you're right! now that I think longer on it, I think I might've written "three models" or "three theories" instead of "three types."
awat1100 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol same with asking a student to do something.
"Can you please pick up that pencil"
"No."
"mumbles under breath Dick."
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student armless? And mouthless? And toeless? Gotta have a pretty uniquely disabled student to not be capable.
The student is incorrect in this instance. They can. But they will not.
A teacher should know the difference between "can you" and "may you".
awat1100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, the point is to not ask a question to which they can easily give you a negative response that may undermine what you are trying to accomplish. Idk the exact wording I've used, but I have asked "Will you please pick up that pencil?" and received the exact same response.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's the tactic of making them feel like they have power.
Ask them to do you a favor by doing the task. Add in that you think its silly or unnecessary but rules are rules regardless and you can't help them avoid the task.
awat1100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm aware of that. Sometimes it is hard to think about the student I am asking, the task they are doing, and framing it in a way that will provoke a desirable response. Considering how often I ask someone something along the lines of "Can you please do this?" outside of school, it can just slip through since it is second nature. I am also fully cognizant of the fact that I am partially responsible when a student openly defies me in a way like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:36 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What age group do you work with?
awat1100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1st graders.
Mathalamon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:14:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should have written "yes" instead.
483-04-7751 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Translation, transcription and transubstantiation?
mellowtrumpet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a biochemist and I can't even do that. Did you mean the three proposed methods?
jmeeezy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha yes, someone brought this up earlier and you both are completely right. I think I may have written "three theories" or "three models"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, my doctorate is in chemical biology and I have studied quite a bit of genetics in my day (though admittedly a bit rusty now). Questions like this one are why my college students don't understand anything they need to know from high school. What's the point of testing on historical models that are NOT correct? Dedicate that brain power to a better understanding of the one that IS correct...
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
personally, I think it is pretty important to know what models were proposed. if you don't understand the proposed models, it's harder for you to understand the details of the Messelson-Stahl experiment.
also, it wasn't a very detailed textbook since my student was 13 years old. I didn't ask for an essay about the 3 theories, just the names of them. didn't call for an unreasonable amount of brain power haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I would counter a brief essay about why one is correct over the other two would be MORE useful than simply memorizing the names of three models, only one of which is actually useful.
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're right! I actually remember having that exact essay question on one of my undergrad genetics exams. however, being that she was 13, her textbook was pretty sparse, and the text in question listed almost nothing else besides those 3 hypothesis names - I really couldn't ask for much more detail from her in this particular case.
yashiminakitu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:38:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why she doesn't have doctorate
Probably not even a masters lol
jmeeezy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a PharmD, thanks. (that's a doctor, in case you didn't know... "lol")
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only D you know rhymes with Rick ;)
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do know a couple Derricks, you're right!
yashiminakitu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, you're stupid lmfao
I don't even think you're a teacher let alone a doctor hahah
Finish your high school, genius
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow. joke just went right over your head, didn't it?
"finish your high school?" lol... sad.
and you can believe whatever you want, I really don't care.
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a pharmacy tech that goes to EDM concerts like Coachella
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fact that you think adults with careers and jobs don't have a life with hobbies tells me you're probably 12 years old.
and not that I have to prove myself to a 12 year old, but I'm 26. I graduated from undergrad at 21 and entered pharmacy school at 22. I taught middle school students on the side. sorry if ambition isn't something you're familiar with!
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right...I bet. Calm down kid, enjoy your raves. Your comments and questions as a teacher assistant were so stupid that my head is spinning. The fact you had the audacity to argue with a real doctor...pathetic
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aw, triggered much? it's okay. since you're so obsessed, why don't you troll the rest of my comment history. you'll find all the proof you need that I am a pharmacy student who's completed her degree.
and I will for sure enjoy my raves, thanks! having a career gets stressful (you'll just have to take my word for it, or find out in 15 years or so).
fjodsk ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, even I don't three types and I'm going to take AP Bio. Shit. Maybe I should know.
Tsar_Romanov ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 05:10:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol high school kids worrying about classes
fjodsk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:(
worrying is my life now
Tsar_Romanov ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:25:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My advice is to enjoy high school while it lasts. College is gonna be a bite the pillow I'm going in dry kind of thing if you choose a hard major
elcapitan520 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:00:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College can be easier if you develop study habits and apply what you learn. Slacking ain't gonna make the transition to college easier for the kid
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:05:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whispers engineering
Send_Me_Puppies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but it was brief review from high school. The three (conservative, semiconservative, and dispersive) were only proposed mechanisms, and all evidence points to semiconservative so its not really that important to know the other models. The Meselson-Stahl experiment is quite interesting in how it helped clarify this.
CoconutMochi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:14:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That question is way too vague to understand out of context of the class, IMO. Might as well ask for three types of cells.
jmeeezy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, that is true! there was a section in her chapter that specifically listed out the three types, so I was testing off of the text.
pipsdontsqueak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I mean, fair. I guess you'd have to assume that you're talking about the three theories of DNA replication right around when Watson and Crick came up with the (correct) semi-conservative model. You'd also have to discount the Meselson-Stahl experiment that disproved all but the semi-conservative model.
This said, the question, as worded, is really confusing because there is only one actual method of DNA replication (given your suggested answer) that actually works. I'd be unable to name three because based purely on this question in isolation, I wouldn't know that you want me to include the theories that were disproven as the other two. I can't name three types of DNA replication because I only know of one way that works.
jmeeezy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely agree with you! but yeah, her text was covering the 3 theories that were proposed before Messelson-Stahl. it was a 9th grade textbook, so it was pretty basic and didn't go into as much detail.
I think from what I remember (it was a while ago), there was pretty much just a heading that said "Scientists considered these 3 theories of how DNA replicates" with the 3 theories in bullet points. and then this picture
BernieEffingSanders ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plant, animal, prison.
MossySloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then answer only stem cell.
Lilscribby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're fine, I learned it in AP Bio.
notshortenough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
etceterasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting my PhD in Biology and I couldn't think of the three models.
Iancredible56 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in math class who just wrote "I'm sorry for wasting your time" on his quiz lol
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
B-
PM-ME-YOU-JILLING ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes."
TreeDiagram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's conservative, semi conservative and disruptive right?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My foster puppy pooped 12 times in 12 hours. Half of it being in the middle of the night while I slept. Not in his crate... but in my bedroom that he never is allowed in but I made an except since he was screaming all night in the crate. I found clothes covered in poop...even my window drapes had poop on them. I found his poop spot underneath my living room couch. I let him out once an hour and he just waits at the door then comes in the house and poops. To make it all worse, I don't have any paper towels anymore..it's just TP and rolls of it are going quick. I have a had a tough morning. Thank you for making me laugh out loud at work. :)
vitaq ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"I dont know, CAN you?"
I literally unzipped and peed right there and showed the teacher that i could
undergroundmoose ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:59:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you didn't.
romanozvj ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
5510 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except I'm pretty sure that the above story really didn't happen.
I'm a big believer that people play the "that happened" card way too casually, but I really really doubt the pissing story. Unless maybe they were a very small child.
romanozvj ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:42:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree and I'm kidding. There's way too many "nothing ever happens" replies so I wanted to play along by responding it to this thathappened too.
karizake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry. SHOULD I go to the bathroom?"
TheRealYM ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warning: your teacher / professor will not give you points for this
Antitheistic10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:01:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in a college math course, except I wrote "yes I can (technically a correct answer)" and I got 1/2 credit. Which was good because I didn't know the answer
SpydermanX20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
your
TheRealYM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My b
ABCeeJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have definitely done that on a test before....I got it wrong.
princessjld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably me.
SurDin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the real answer?
jmeeezy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:27:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going for "semi-conservative, conservative, and dispersive"
bilateralunsymetry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except two of those don't happen...
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah, I explain this in another two comments lol. but yes, you're right! just in the context of the way her text was written, those three were listed. I also believe I may have written "three theories" or "three models."
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you also believe that you're full of horse shit? Because it would be the only true thing you have spoken in this thread
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:44 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
were you saying something about how I'm a liar, a kid, in high school, not a real doctor, and full of horseshit?
yashiminakitu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're really trying hard to protect this fake internet life you've created. Too bad in real life you're this pathetic loser that has never accomplished anything. Someone who is legit, wouldn't be spending their time screenshoting their post history to prove a Reddit wrong. It's so obvious you're a fake it hurts not to laugh hahahaha
notquiteotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Points for honesty.
hakc55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Concept over content...
sporespore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, that's just freaky.
Haitchpeasauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if I wrote "Yes" I'd get full marks for this question?
rdx711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if the students could name 3 types of DNA all they had to write was 'Yes' to get the marks for this question.
IellaAntilles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my mom's history class a couple years ago there were two immigrant students who didn't speak a lick of English. In typically American public school fashion, they were still required to take tests. One of them would just write "I don't know, I'm sorry" in Spanish for every question. =(
sviridovt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had I written 'yes' would I have gotten full credit?
FiskFisk33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"yes."
Isaius35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes." would work perfectly fine as well come to think of it.
OmNomNational ยท 3022 points ยท Posted at 01:39:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember something I did when I was in grade 2.
The student teacher took us into a private room one by one for eye exams. I've never taken an eye exam before and it wasn't really explained to me what was happening. I was just sat down and asked to read the first line of the chart. Then the second. Then the third. By the time it came to the fourth line I was like "It's too small for me to read, one minute please", then I got up, walked over to the board and started reading the letters. Apparently that's not how you do eye exams.
enad58 ยท 1885 points ยท Posted at 03:11:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing happened to me. They took us into a room to "test our eyes" so I left my glasses in the classroom. After a couple lines they recommended glasses. So I went and grabbed them. They looked at me like I was crazy. Hey man, you wanted to test my eyes, not my glasses.
nezzthecatlady ยท 475 points ยท Posted at 04:05:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing. I had an awful eye doctor who messed up my prescription so for years I could see better without my glasses than with them. The school decided to test us one day and I couldn't see the board out of my really bad eye, let alone any letters. They proceeded to chew me out about not wearing my glasses and wouldn't let me explain. I hated those school nurses.
trf6_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 12:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
School nurses have a hard job. They see a lot of kids, and have to take care of many whose parents just don't care.
That said, they suck.
mohallor ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:27:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the fourth grade I accidentally cut my eye with a pencil. At the time I didn't realize that I had cut it, so I went to the nurse. I told her "I accidentally stabbed a pencil in my eye". She proceeded to give me an ice pack. LPT: Ice Packs do not help cut eyes.
I swear that woman thought an ice pack could cure cancer
BIG_GAPING_CUNT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is going to concert
manawesome326 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got an ice pack for feeling the urge to vomit. Didn't even give me a bowl, so if I did vomit, I would have done it all over the carpet.
trf6_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For us it was tums.
In sixth grade, my brother broke his arm. They offered him tums and told him to get back to class.
Next day he comes in a full arm cast and they don't believe it.
Flying__Penguin ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:26:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So like, when you got your new glasses and realized they made things even worse, you decided to just not say anything about it to your doctor, your parents, your friends or your teachers? For years?
Did you not want to hurt the doctor's feelings?
nezzthecatlady ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 04:41:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did. We went back and had them rechecked. I complained constantly because I couldn't see. The doctor insisted they were perfect and our insurance didn't cover any other optometrists within a reasonable distance. After the doctor "double checked" my prescription my mom became convinced I was faking it. I moved several years later and went to a new doctor and they were immediately fixed and told me how he'd messed up my prescription. So no. It wasn't about not hurting the doctor's feelings. It was about being twelve years old and told I was lying when I said I couldn't see, so I gave up.
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 06:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know the feel. My mom once took me to see the optometrist when I was around 4 or 5. 20/20 vision. Fast forward to when I was 10, I would tell my mom that I had trouble seeing anything in the distance.
"I've had your eyes checked. They're perfect. You're fine. No one can see that far"
I complained all the time as my vision got worse every year. My freshman year, I would literally sit on the floor inches from the chalkboard to see the notes my history teacher had projected for us to copy. If I sat even 3 feet away, where my desk was, I couldn't read it.
3 months into freshman year, that teacher called my mom to ask why the hell she didn't force me to wear my glasses. She told him my vision was perfect. He laughed at her. She finally took me to get my vision checked. Turns out, I did need glasses.
nervelli ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, really, what's the chance that your body would have changed at all from the time you were four? /s
StraightJacketRacket ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell wouldn't your mom believe you about something like that? Talk about not respecting your kid.
RaggySparra ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:05:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Power-tripping?
The visiting nurse who did eye tests at school had to threaten to report my mother to social services to get me glasses - her logic was that since she didn't need them until she was 20, I couldn't need them at 7.
SadGhoster87 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:16:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How exactly does she think glasses work
RaggySparra ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:24:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know - but her thing was that her eyes were fine until she was in her 20s, therefore I couldn't have bad eyes in primary school. (You'd think the "We are not the same person" would be obvious, but mother-logic.)
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:43:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:01:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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PicnicBasketSam ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me. I have had glasses since I was 7.
Killa-Byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it happened to me. I had good enough vision until a vision test in 6th grade, which found out I should get glasses. Never wore them however.
Flying__Penguin ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I'm sorry.
MattMakesPhotos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:49:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's frustrating as. Like the doctor would even know.
EscapeAndEvadeSteve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always go to an ophthalmologist, because they actually have to go to medschool.
Catchingtrees ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:40:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks deadpan in nurses eyes, snaps glasses in half.
Gkkiux ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:45:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do those prescriptions work then? For me they always tried out different lenses until I could see well enough
nezzthecatlady ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The new doctor I have said that there was something they had to do to the lease because I have an astigmatism and the old doctor was just completely disregarding that fact.
blurio ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same but i was 18 and it was my vision test for my license. The dude went like: Alright, you need glasses! So i got them out and did it again.
How was i supposed to know that you do that shit with your glasses on?
kerune ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to. It just determines if you have to wear glasses while you are driving
Blinded-Ink ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:05:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's adorable af
jorrylee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I hated this. I was legally bling without glasses, needed stronger prescription every year. They made me take off my glasses to read the stupid chart. I couldn't even see the E at the top. I may have told them my optometrist is way better than this crappy test but that may be revisionist history.
DocGerbill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They give you an eye test with glasses on, wtf?
ilivetofly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup to see if your vision with them on is where it should be or if the glasses need to be changed.
ilivetofly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup to see if your vision with them on is where it should be or if the glasses need to be changed.
fire_thorn ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:15:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter's first eye exam was at the pediatrician's office she she was three. It was all shapes, no letters. She correctly identified all except a generic flag, which she identified as a shitbox.
ArrowRobber ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was scared of 'doing bad' at tests, and as my eyesight was shitty, I had a habit of walking up past the blackboard & reading everything up close before going back to sit down. (lots of pencil sharpening / putting something in the garbage)
I had a slight clue what was going on having heard the end of the test of the other student that went before me. So upon getting in the room, while I was still close to the eye chart, I read it and memorized as much as I could, repeated it back. Another 4 years before anyone believed me saying I couldn't see well & they'd get me glasses.
AceEpocs ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:47:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me with color blindness tests. They didn't tell me what it was for, just to tell them what I saw or to trace the shape in the dots. For years I didn't know that I was colorblind, I just thought I was fucking stupid.
LordScolipede ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:09:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... But did you pass?
christianstorey33 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he won.
OmNomNational ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once I understood what was going on I passed haha
Mazon_Del ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:44:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thing that always mildly concerned me was that in grade school they did the scoliosis tests (look at the curve in your spine) on the students for free. I'm directly in the middle of the alphabet and they had us come in alphabetical order. What ALWAYS happened was that I was supposed to go at the end of Day 1, but they would run out of time and say "We'll call you tomorrow." then they wouldn't call me. If I made sure to say "You didn't get me yesterday." they would insist that they did. So I never got the testing done at school (though it was only when I was older that I realized that the testing was really meant to catch the condition in kids that didn't have regular doctors visits).
JesseIMcLennan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:58:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing happened to me. The doctor asked me to read the lines, and I kept saying that I couldn't. When we got to the really big letters he asked if I was sure that I could not read any of the letters. I said that I could read the letters but did not know the words... FYI I have better than 20:15 vision.
Deedledude ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:49:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate eye exams. I always embarrass myself because even with very powerful glasses, I can't read the 3rd line.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had my eyes tested not too long ago. I had my glasses off so I could read off the board like I was supposed to. The doctor came in and turned on the projector and asked what I saw. I looked at the board and said "I didn't even know there was anything on there"
It was a giant E. Big and bold. I couldn't see it because the white fuzzed it out
Sharrakor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:47:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a contest.
ThatWarlock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know somebody who also didn't understand it, so they memorized the chart beforehand.
FailoftheBumbleB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom was late to get glasses as a kid because she would go up and memorize the letters before the test because she didn't want to fail.
MrGlayden ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what your saying is, you failed an eye exam?
OmNomNational ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, she was VERY specific when she re-explained the test and I re-did it and passed
Sgxdarklighter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck has eye examinations in school?
OmNomNational ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a small town at the time, so townies?
Sgxdarklighter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Merica?
OmNomNational ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada
ValexDragon ยท 22271 points ยท Posted at 01:53:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English to Vietnamese kids. I asked what is the population of Vietnam? The kid quickly surveyed the room and said "More than 15" This guy is going places.
hydrospanner ยท 15708 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyening.
bluthco ยท 3567 points ยท Posted at 04:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me so happy.
I work with a guy who's name is Win Nguyen. He made a shirt that says "All I do is Nguyen Nguyen Nguyen".
basaltgranite ยท 2537 points ยท Posted at 05:19:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a Nguyen Nguyen. He said his first name was pronounced differently from his last name. No matter how carefully he said it, no matter how carefully I listened, they sounded the same to me. Twenty years later--and I still wonder if the joke was on me.
pippinto ยท 418 points ยท Posted at 05:30:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhhh I'm no expert but I may have your answer. Vietnamese, like Chinese and a few other languages, relies on pitch as an important indicator of meaning, e.g. a word that is pronounced identically in every other way but with the pitch different (moving up instead of down, etc.) might mean something completely different and will sound completely different to those trained to hear it. People who speak languages lacking this particular linguistic feature often have trouble hearing and reproducing it.
Edit: kept referring to tone as pitch. I think the terms are interchangeable but I could be wrong. Also somebody pointed out that it might have been something entirely different.
basaltgranite ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 05:34:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively Vietnamese distinguishes between phonemes that are allophones in English. A co-worker who was a native speaker of Hindi could hear distinctions between pairs of consonants that were, so help me, indistinguishable to me as a native speaker of English. My brain's phonemic maps heard them identically, they were inseperable, end of story.
jw88p ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 06:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is an allophone? Here in Quรฉbec is someone who is not natively speaking English or french.
karossii ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 06:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
any of the speech sounds that represent a single phoneme, such as the aspirated k in kit and the unaspirated k in skit, which are allophones of the phoneme k.
ChaseObserves ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 06:35:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the k in "what the fuck did you just say" aspirated or no
karossii ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 06:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Aspirated means it is pronounced with an exhalation of your breath. Rarely will you ever have an aspirated phoneme at the end of a word.
ampwyo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhg... The difference between ใ and ใ and between ใท and ใธ in korean is that the latter of each is slightly aspirated... While teaching English in Korea I learned that ๋์ฌ means verb and ๋ฅ์ธ means shit. Trying to talk about verbs with low level students often resulted in giggling.
jvjanisse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the aspiration was really the difference between ใ and ใ , ใ and ใ , ใฑ and ใ , etc. The single and double consonates still don't make sense to me.
greenkobolt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you have an Irish accent! ;)
Doctor_FatFinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, hush!
andreasbeer1981 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When japanese guys say 'fuck' it will sound aspirated though.
pHScale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they typically don't end syllables in consonants. That only happens with n and s, so k would require a subtle vowel at the end in order to pronounce. That would put k at the beginning of a suitable, making it more easily aspirated. "Fak-ku" or "Fa-khษ" depending on the thickness of the accent.
Of course, the less thick the accent is, the less this applies.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're pronouncing teapot very precisely.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
karossii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:35:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in some languages there are actually phonemes pronounced on an inhalation. But not many, and that isn't what I meant at all.
A pronounced exhalation is where you put a forceful breath behind the sound. Even if you are exhaling, it is not necessarily a pronounced exhalation.
Also, you can make many sounds without either exhaling or inhaling...
eseern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard to explain without talking to you, though I'm sure someone can. But no its not a joke. Like the k in kit you kinda have to breathe to get the sound started while the k in fuck just kind ends the u sound
maqusan ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:57:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See also the difference between the th sounds in "these things". The first is voiced, the second isn't.
lightmetre ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:57:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't 'these' [รฐ] and 'things' [ฮธ] two separate phonemes though? Not allophones of th.
LuciusAnneas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the point is that different languages use different minimal pairs - so f.e. in German the /v/ "vine" and /w/ "wine" are NOT a minimal pair, so to most German native speakers the sounds are more or less indistinguishable
nhaines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'v' is the German letter 'fau' and is unvoiced and sounds like English letter F, whereas 'w' is German letter 'vey,' is voiced and sounds like English letter V.
LuciusAnneas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about the English phonemes. For example u can pronounce "Wasser" with the English phonemes /v/ or /w/ and there is no semantic difference. I am aware that the letter "v" in German as in "Vogel" can used to represent a different phoneme (/f/ in this case). It can also stand for /w/ or /v/ though as in "Variation" or "Division" for example.
maqusan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was unsure tbh, it was just the example I remembered. Someone who's studied more than a single unit of linguistics more recently than 20 years ago would give a better answer.
maaku7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in English, no.
MadDanWithABox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:29:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... they are. They are a voiced/voiceless pair, like b/p or d/t.
plmtry ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread has lost me. b/p don't sound the same, neither do d/t. The 'th' in both 'these' and 'things' sound the same, just like it sounds in 'the'
theAlpacaLives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. Try putting your fingers lightly on your voice box while saying 'these' and 'things' repeatedly, slowly, and out loud. You should feel buzzing during the voiced 'th' of 'these,' and nothing during 'th' in 'things.' We don't use different letters to write these sounds, but it is exactly the same difference as between /d/ and /t/ or /k/ and /g/.
plmtry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. I feel like the first guy that couldn't hear the difference in the guys first and last name. I feel like you're playing with me even though I'm pretty sure you're not. But I can't hear or feel any difference in the first part of those words. I feel vibrations when I say either word. I can hear the difference between the e and i in those respective words, but I got nothing different in the th. Maybe I speak the word things incorrectly, lol.
theAlpacaLives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's really no difference between the first sounds in 'this' and 'thing,' I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but -- you're saying something wrong. Try 'wreath' and 'breathe,' see if anything's different. The good news is, you've made it this far in life, and the condition isn't terminal.
I don't know half enough about Vietnamese or 'Nguyen' to comment on that particular case, but I do remember from linguistics classes an interesting case that might apply: six-month-old babies can distinguish virtually any sound used in any human language, but they lose the ability to distinguish sound pairs that aren't used in language to which they aren't exposed. Basically, your brain can't hear certain things unless it's your native language. The source is from an academic database at my university I can't get to anymore, but I remember that, and wonder if it has anything to do with cases where someone keeps saying the same thing twice in his/her native language and wondering why you keep saying they're the same.
Trixbix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple things:
1) Don't be a prescriptivist asshole. It's probably not your intention, but you're getting really close there. There are definitely native speakers who voice all initial "th"s (or at least a lot more than the dictionary says). Unfortunately, all I have is anecdotal evidence of this, but forvo seems to confirm my claim.
2) If you want someone to hear the difference between two sounds, at least give them a minimal pair to work with. What about 'wreath' and 'wreathe'? Or 'teeth' and 'teethe'? For a syllable-initial example, you could use 'ether' and 'either' (assuming that the first vowel in 'either' is /i/).
This discussion actually makes me wonder why some people voice word-initial dental fricatives where a lot of others don't. Is it a regional thing? (Forvo seems to indicate otherwise, but it's hard to tell.) Is it a social thing? Do some people just have shitty hearing? Is the voicing of dental fricatives just less salient either because we have so few minimal pairs that use them or because the difference between voiced and unvoiced is somehow less perceptible (or both)?
theAlpacaLives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, they are different phonemes. First, the phonetic difference -- voicing -- is pretty significant; usually, differences among allophones are subtler things like exactly where the tongue lies or bunches, aspiration, nasalization, or some such.
Second, the most common test for different phonemes is to look for minimal pairs: a pair of words that are pronounced (spelling isn't important) the same except for using these two sounds. If they're homophones, the two sounds are allophones, but if they're recognized as sounding different, you've got two phonemes. For the 'th' sounds, it's not easy to think of, but there is a minimal pair: 'either' (voiced 'th') and 'ether' (unvoiced).
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:00:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a much better example - you can really hear this one easily.
theAlpacaLives ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:32:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that they're not allophones, since voiced and unvoiced 'th' are treated in English as separate sounds. It's hard for the untrained ear to hear most allophones, since by definitions they are sounds that people (at least speakers of a certain language) think of as basically the same sound.
The 'r' in 'beer' and in 'bar' aren't quite the same (for most speakers) but English speakers don't notice -- they're both 'r.' But the 'th' sounds in 'these things' are as different as 't' and 'd,' and definitely not allophones in English.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the sh in shush compared to the s in Asia /ส/ vs. /ส/
captainbluemuffins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:15:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good old dental fricatives
bimbo_bear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But we say kit and skit pretty much the same here. ..
Trixbix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could be a regional thing, or it could be that your brain just thinks of them both as making a "k" sound, so you don't realize that you're saying them differently.
Try saying them both now. Does the "k" in "kit" feel stronger somehow? We call that an aspirated k because in English, we usually pronounce the "k"s at the beginnings of words with a little puff of air. (Some people say that if you put a piece of paper in front of your mouth as you say it, you can see it move, but it doesn't work for me unless I'm really exaggerating.) On the other hand, the "k" in "skit" sounds almost like a "g". Try saying "sgit" and see if it doesn't sound the same as "skit".
If you still have no idea what I'm talking about, I wouldn't worry about it. :P
bimbo_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh.. I can actually kinda see where your going and again (possibly because I have a blend of irish and english accents with a touch of american) they sound reallllly similar but I can kinda feel a minute difference in mouth movement but all of the k/git/kit are said with breath going out not in so... super close sounding all the time :)
I'd be happy to hop onto discord sometime and demonstrate :P And while I dont have a huge formal understanding of the subject it does have some general interest for me.
HeyChaseMyDragon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:21:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A phoneme is a linguistic term for sound used in language. Like something that would have its own character in the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA). Allophones are different ways to make the same sound. You're talking about using the suffix "phone" to mean "speaker of", which we also do here in USA. We say francophone to mean someone who speaks French.
Edit: https://sites.ualberta.ca/~tnearey/Ling205/Week3/WBPhonemesAndAllophonesEngCs4Up.pdf
Male_strom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:29:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phone goes, you pick it up and say 'Allo?'
jw88p ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best comedian in high school?
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:08:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For example, l and r are different letters to us but indistinguishable to speakers of certain Asian languages: they're distinct letters to us but allophones to them.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:09:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once visited a Chinese family. The father was explaining accent differences between Mandarin speakers in different parts of the country, and he mentioned that in the north, some people say "v" instead of "w" in certain words. The mother said, "What?" several times as both I and the husband tried repeating ourselves.
She couldn't hear the difference between v and w.
o-toon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:52 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've tested this out with my northeastern chinese family on multiple occasions, and it's true; they couldn't distinguish between the v and w sounds. when i pressed them for more detail, they could only point out differences in volume between the two words i'd spoken.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:18 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The aforementioned accent (with the v's) is in fact how I talk in Mandarin as well. But of course, as a native Anglophone, I have no problem distinguishing those two sounds. I could pronounce everything with w if I tried, but it would just feel wrong.
gordie44 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's what you say when someone calls you...
"Allo, phone"
wishthane ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:54:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is indeed the reason. [ลสทฤฉษล] is the Vietnamese pronunciation, [wษชn] is "win" in English. [ลสท] would sound very much like [w] to us and [ฤฉษ] sounds sort of like [ษช]
NovaeDeArx ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:44:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to use the "environmental processing" part of the brain instead of the "language processing" part.
Don't think of the sound the guy is making is a word, think of it as just some noise and don't try and "mentally spell" it, just hear the sound and don't attempt to process it.
It's kinda hard to do, but it's really handy for short-circuiting that annoying habit your brain has of trying to basically auto-tune what it thinks is language into known phonemes. Source: wife is Hungarian, and it's the only way I can distinguish some words (Hungarian has tons of almost-homophones that are painfully difficult to tell apart for non-speakers).
basaltgranite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:02:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A similar trick, for articulation rather than comprehension, is to learn a little phonetics. Understanding the mechanics of how people make sounds can help you pronounce sounds outside your native language, because you can control sound by physical processing instead of language processing. For example, easier to make a glottal stop on purpose if you know where the glottis is and what a stop is.
NovaeDeArx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say that, but I still can't get the hang of the voiced palatial stop/affricate hybrid "gy" the Huns use... But they think it's adorable, so I've got that going for me, I guess.
pippinto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems the more likely reason actually. I was just really excited to state one of about three things I know about Vietnamese.
Teh_Sauce_Guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:32:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not in the case of Nguyen.
wishthane ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:50:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually probably not about the tone and more that it actually is phonetically different. [ลสทฤฉษล] is the Southern Vietnamese pronunciation of Nguyen, which is different from "win" in English which is approximately [wษชn]
It's not spelled Nguyen for no reason :) But no words in English start with [ล] (known as 'ng' in English) so we can have a lot of trouble hearing that, especially if it's rounded as in [ลสท] so it sounds more like a 'w'.
Finally, the vowel is actually a dipthong, not [ษช] but [ฤฉษ]. They sound very similar to English speakers but would sound weird to a Vietnamese speaker.
So it's not actually pronounced 'win', it just sounds like that to us.
batterycrayon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is from Vietnam (south) and pronounces the name as "wing" in English. You sound like you know what you're talking about, is there a reason why he might approximate it this way instead of "win?" Is "wing" closer?
Trixbix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but maybe I can help you out a bit.
That 'ล' symbol at the end of the phonological transcription makes the sound we spell "ng" in English. So the Southern Vietnamese pronunciation of "Nguyen" ends in the same sound as "wing" in English.
wishthane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, in the Southern dialect, it ends in a velar nasal ('ng'). In Northern it just ends in a nasal stop ('n').
Teh_Sauce_Guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only difference in sounds between having the name Nguyen would be from tone. Vietnamese orthography has little room for ambiguity, and it wouldn't make sense to pronounce a name in two totally different dialects.
wishthane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There actually is a phonetic difference between the dialects: [ลสทวหษn] in Northern vs. [ลสทฤฉษล] in Southern. I think the glottalization is considered part of the tone in Vietnamese but it's not really linguistically accurate.
But anyway, that wasn't even the issue: we're talking about the difference between how English speakers perceive and pronounce the name Nguyen and how it is pronounced in Vietnamese.
Teh_Sauce_Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't dispute any of that. I disputed the fact that there would be a difference between the two nguyens in the name "Nguyen Nguyen". the only possible difference possible is through tone, because people do not have a name with two different dialects (why in the world would your first name be in Northern and your surname be in Southern), and Vietnamese orthography does not leave room for any ambiguous sounds, unlike English where many letters can represent a number of different sounds.
Your point about how English speakers can't really hear Vietnamese sounds properly and hear "win" is irrelevant when the discussion involved two instances of "Nguyen" that were pronounced differently. They would both be pronounced as either [ลสทวหษn] or [ลสทฤฉษล] (or one of the other dialect's realisations, such as Central).
Also yes, the glottal stop is considered an integral part of the 5th tone. In Southern Vietnamese, the 4th and 5th tones are identical because the Southern dialect hasn't got the glottal stop.
wishthane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I think I totally missed where we were talking about "Nguyen Nguyen" then.
finnknit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:42:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly, native speakers of tonal languages are more likely to have perfect pitch than speakers of non-tonal languages. I'm not sure whether having perfect pitch would also be an advantage for a non-native speaker learning a tonal language.
Trixbix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think being musical in general helps. The one non-native Mandarin speaker I know who gets the tones exactly right is a musician and has been doing music his entire life. When I try to teach people how to do tones, it helps if I can relate it to music.
I don't see how having perfect pitch specifically would help people learn tonal languages, as the tones aren't pronounced at exactly the same pitch every time. It changes depending on a bunch of different things (e.g., emotional state, position in a sentence, social stuff, etc.)
lvllabyes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
on the other hand my dad has a foreign name and he pulls this joke on people all the time. "so your name is pronounced [correct pronunciation]?" "no its [exact same correct pronunciation]" and so on, he likes to see how long he can get away with it
Jeremyisdabest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word smell (mรนi) can sound very similar to nose (Mลฉi), mosquito (Muแปi), salt (Muแปi) and ten (mฦฐแปi).
BarryMacochner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
usefull either way. thanks for the help.
Trixbix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to Wikipedia, tone and pitch are different.
No1ExpectsThrowAway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To address the edit: linguistic tones are different from pitch-accents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the word you're looking for us accent rather than pitch.
GJgeita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In music a tone is composed of pitch, timbre, volume and length.
The pitch is the frequency. To use a keyboard as an example, going to the right would mean higher frequency / higher pitch. The tone you play on the keyboard would also be dependent on how hard / quick you press, how long you hold the tangent and settings for timbre.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tone also refers to pitch or notes or note widths ... it's a word that does not have a singular meaning in music. Tone can refer to pitch and can replace the word pitch, but pitch cannot often replace the word tone.
GJgeita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:39:06 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, in the same sense that some people call a brake pedal "the brake" or the abdomen for "stomach". Ie, everyday usages that are not actually correct.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:54:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Not in that sense at all. Ever heard of twelve tone equal temperment? Or mediantone temperment? Ever heard of a whole tone or semitone interval width? How about the whole tone scale? Heard of a leading tone?
None of these things are referring to timbre, and refer to the relative pitch differences between notes.
Edit: the verbiage concerning tonality all floats around the same concepts as well. The tonic and subtonic notes don't refer to the timbre of an instrument, but rather the fundamental frequencies to be played by an instrument relative to the root of the key.
GJgeita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unclear as to why you think any of those things contradict anything I have said.
Tone is a broader term than pitch, that some use it interchangeably doesn't mean it is correct. Some use tone to only describe timbre as well, which is not correct either.
null_work ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because that is a completely false statement with respect to using tone related to the pitch in any and every example I gave. Words, even in the context of a single discipline, can have multiple, correct meanings. Twelve tone equal temperament or the whole tone scale or a semitone interval isn't even close to an incorrect usage of the word tone and it's not even close to a colloquial usage, in the sense of tone being the pitch. They're all explicit, well defined usages in the musical sense, and they're all instances of one correct way to use the word "tone."
In no sense is the word "subsemitone" an "everyday usage that is not actually correct."
No, they are correct. Tone has multiple meanings in the context of music.
Fuzzatron ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a musician, the terms are not interchangeable. Pitch refers to the frequency of the sound wave, how high or low a note is. Tone refers to the nature of the super and subharmonics of a note and is synonymous with timbre. If two instruments play the same note, say an A at 440hz, they have the same pitch but you can tell that one is a piano while the other is a trumpet because of their distinct tones or timbres.
null_work ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're being pedantically wrong. Tone has multiple meanings in music. This is why we have the "twelve tone serialism" where tone refers to individual notes. This is why the whole tone scale refers to equal intervals widths of whole steps (and whole steps are called whole tones and half steps are called semitones). Pure tone is a sinusidol waveform that has no overtones or additional harmonics defined by a single frequency. A reference tone is a pure tone at a specific reference frequency. Leading notes are also called leading tones (or subsemitones). That's why we have twelve tone equal temperment or meantone temperment. These are all irrespective of instrument, and thus timbre, and usually irrespective of duration, dynamics, etc.
Tone absolutely can be used interchangeably with pitch, but pitch can far less often be used interchangeably with tone.
pippinto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about linguistics where tone and pitch have different meanings than they do in music. I thought the context of the conversation would have made that clear.
Sadaharu_28 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 06:49:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese here. Nguyแป n is a last name and Nguyรชn, without the wavy thing, is a first name. Yes they sound different
PM_ME_JAR_JAR_NUDES ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:52:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's two dipthongs (two vowels in a row) in Korean that I struggled to learn for a while. Supposedly one sounds like "ey" (ใ ) and the other sounds like "ey", but a little softer (ใ ).
I spent over six months trying to master the difference and am completely bewildered that anyone can distinguish it when spoken at full blast.
I sometimes wonder if my teachers just wanted me to have a nervous breakdown.
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"
"And yet, here we are..."
basaltgranite ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:59:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After your brain loses its plasticity in late childhood, it becomes difficult to hear new sounds. One trick is to study enough phonetics to know how people make sounds. If you learn about what your mouth does mechanically, how we physically articulate sounds, it becomes easier to consciously control your speech, so that you can make and hear sounds that are outside the phonetics of your native language. But yep--in practicality, the best thing is to give up and go eat that guppy salad stuff you can get in Korean restaurants.
PM_ME_JAR_JAR_NUDES ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:21:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is succumbing to alcoholism ultimately culminating in waking up in a Busan hotel with no memory of the last six days a reasonable solution too?
'Cause that's what I came up with.
bikemaul ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:06:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Demonstration here if anyone is interested.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub6QjPkfGHI
PM_ME_JAR_JAR_NUDES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF CONDESCENSION AND LIES.
<3
mrunkel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a German speaker it's easy to hear the difference as well/. The sounds are like the German letters "i" and "e".
IAmTheAccident ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the few issues I've seen native English speakers struggle with while learning Korean that I never really got because ใ is like eh and ใ is like ae. They're close but to me (native English speaker myself) not that close. There are other struggles I've seen that make more sense to me or I've fallen victim to myself but this one I never really got.
SeeMeNot4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused. I've never heard Korean spoken in real life, nor have I ever studied an Asian language. I'm a native speaker of a Slavic language. I looked up those two just now and they sound completely different to me. Strange.
beardedsavant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*diphthong
theconfuserx2 ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 05:25:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pho-nominal story
AdvicePerson ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:27:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All aboard the pun Tran!
streetsweepskeet ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:39:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What up Pham
avianaltercations ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vinhtage comment
JustZisGuy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:04:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope the admins don't banh mi on account of my contribution to the pun thread.
BeccaGets ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 08:04:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All this Sweet and Sour Pork.
drdrillaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do love me some Pho
ShenBear ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:28:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you mean Zathras. He is "Zathras" I am "Zathras"
Exodus2791 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:43:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking for the one who was, the one who is and the one who will be?
ShenBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"tisk tisk tisk. Not the One. You're not the One."
"Not the one what?"
benjinito ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:44:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother's name is Nguyen Nguyen. It is true that the first name is pronounced differently from the last name. Don't worry he didn't lie to you :)
quangtit01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:30:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. I see that you know my cousin
Joke aside. I've given up on dialect pronouncing here. It's impossible for an untrained ear to tell the difference tbh lol
mynameisblanked ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently after around age 5 you stop being able to hear the difference in some sounds. Something to do with how your brain interprets language. It's like, you haven't heard these noises so far, you probably won't need em.
basaltgranite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes--and it's a good thing. The first time people hear about this, they morn losing their ability to learn a new language without an accent. Which is true. On the other hand, hard-wiring the sounds of your native language makes it almost impossible to forget your native language (dementia aside).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
basaltgranite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Few things are absolutely true for all people. During the time that you learn a native language, the neurons in your brain form connections that encode a kind of map of the sounds that occur in your language. You use that map to classify the variable sounds you hear into the specific sounds that distinguish between words in your language. Later, the plasticity that lets you form the map is reduced or lost. All of this is probably an adaption that allows children to spontaneously learn a language that becomes a durable part of their lives.
A side effect is that, when you pronounce a foreign language, your map influences the exact sounds you make, which often differ a bit from similar sounds in the foreign language. Native speakers of the foreign language hear these subtle differences as your accent (or anyway one element of it). Maybe the vocabulary and grammar of a native language are less persistent than the fundamental underlying sounds mapped into the brain.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
basaltgranite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, no yes/no! I suspect (don't know) that different aspects of a native language fade from disuse at different rates, and that people differ in just what happens. So native language is very durable by "design"--a Very Good Thing!--but not always absolutely durable. For a different example, bilingual people who become demented often lose adult-acquired languages--kind of the opposite of what you're describing.
IAmTheAccident ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen it happen to plenty of people, but the fact of the matter is that anything can be "forgotten" without any regular use, and if they began "relearning" their native tongue it would almost certainly return to them very easily.
maguirenumber6 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:16:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is the name meant to be pronounced?
SweetRelease_ofBread ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:00:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this helps you understand, this is how his name might be spelled: Nguyรชn Nguyแป n
Guerillagreasemonkey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:12:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly not. I worked with an arab guy "khaled khaled" and he insisted that it was "kh-al-ed kha-leed"
He also found it super irritating when I just screamed "We the best!" At odd moments for no reason.
ShakurMathers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats funny haha
_Neoshade_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:48:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese uses speed and spacing like we use vowel changes and syllable emphasis. He was very likely pronouncing it two different ways, just not to your ear.
xxxx_xxxxx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:14:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Nguyen Nguyen situation to me
UnlicensedFingerGuns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a difference. It's very subtle, but it's there. I had a similar conversation when I first started learning Vietnamese.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess not... we can actually pronounce Nguyen in 6 different ways, only 2 or 3 of those can be picked as names though, the rest sound stupid and meaningless. Source: I'm a Nguyen too.
-Karakui ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:32:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is because accent isn't due to pronunciation, it's due to how you hear sounds. There's a large range of "sounds which sound like this", and when you're a baby you can hear every different sound. You quickly learn where to split up the sounds though. So for example, R and L are basically 2 ends of the same spectrum of the R-L sound. English people split this spectrum in the middle. Everything to the left of the middle, we hear as "R" and everything to the right we hear as "L". Japanese people never make a distinction. They hear all of the sounds in that spectrum as being kind of halfway between R and L. A similar thing may be happening here. Vietnamese people may learn a distinction between 2 different "G" sounds, whereas English people make no distinction and everything on the G spectrum just sounds like G to us. He may have been saying the G differently, but you were just hearing the same sound.
fearestz1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the accent, the same spelling of a word can sound or mean 2 completely different things. https://youtu.be/N3KY7BkWvMQ This is a funny video describing vietnamese accents
MeloneFxcker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sweet dee and, the jokes on me
KmKiero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not get, joke explain please
jose-rancheros ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a boyfriend with the last name Nguyen. We were together for a couple years and I still couldn't get the pronunciation right (am white chick).
ErynorErthor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would think it's pronounced like a Vietnamese equivalent to Duran Duran.
goinunder0390 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this with a friend too -
He said one was pronounced closer to "Gwin", while the other was just "Win".
Can't remember which was which though...
kikimakani ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother in law's friends name is Nguyen Nguyen. We just call him Rabbit cause he hates his name. Was really funny when we were getting official names for save the dates, I debated on just addressing it Rabbit instead.
gaylordqueen69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I reckon his first name was Nguyรจn and his last name was Nguแปนen.
The Vietnamese language is fucking insane. In English we change our tone to make a question, express surprise, bafflement ... in Vietnam they change the tone and the entire fucking word changes.
HotTyre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was. He made a Reddit post about it a little while ago.
ginger_housecat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit like the actor Sean Bean. Both names have completely different pronunciations.
drs43821 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered a psychology lecture in my first year about languages, the Korean-Canadian professor spoke two Korean words with supposedly two different pronunciation, that no one can tell the difference.
joejoejoejoe1111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:14:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, the answer is that the first name has a different tone to the last name. The last name has the split level tone (dau nga) - I can't write the diacritics on here. The other one has no tone. The last name is pronounced like Ngw-e-n and the other one is like nyuen. If that makes sense. My wife is Vietnamese. And her sisters kid is Nguyen Nguyen. :-)
edit: pronunciation is kinda like 'win',but the 'ng' is the same as the 'ng' in ring which takes some practice. Here in Vietnam the trick is the tone to differentiate them. Very tricky to learn, but there are five!
nhat8121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it is spelled differently too, if written in vietnamese.
lamegoosepotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he happen to be a pediatrician?
h2ogie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am looking at for a map
popcorngirl000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"There are ten of us, all of family Zathras. Each one named Zathras. Slight differences in how you pronounce Zathras... Zathras... Zathras. You are seeing now?"
sassdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Nguyen situation
stratdog25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh... it sounds like a win-win to me
Pardoism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First name is pronounced "Win", last name is pronounced "Winn".
ithurtsus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:55:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he pronounced it with northern accent and then with a southern accent (or god forbid a central accent)? In short he was totally fucking with you
WOWsirs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:29:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh gosh...... so Nguyen is pronounced like "Win" ... I've been knowing my friend for like 5 years ..... and I had no frigging idea !
Nacksche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/Jb5F00W7j8U?t=110
WOWsirs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:26 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, thanks
r2002 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you like him so much why not invite him and his wife for a threesome. It's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
JCPoly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite Nguyen joke is a Nguyen Nguyen situation.
victorssecr3t ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:54:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Victor Nguyen. I should do the same.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:33:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
victorssecr3t ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:43:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally pronounce it noo-win. Most American Vietnamese people I know pronounce it this way. Immigrants will pronounce it as ngoo-wee-in. Vietnamese people not surrounded by a dense Vietnamese population will call it win.
In the end, it's all going to be us Vietnamese people's efforts to dumbing it down and saying it wrong for non-vietnamese people to understand.
Omega357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was wrong. Very wrong. Oh my. Good thing I've never met someone with that name.
victorssecr3t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you say it? Nuh-guy-yen? New-jin? Nuh-goo-yen?
Omega357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first one. I've only ever experienced the name in print.
BossaNova1423 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[ลสทวหษn] or [ลสทฤฉษล]
YeahRightoM8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:46:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see
Wiki_pedo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was (is?) a Redditor called Oprah Nguyenfrey, iirc.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:46:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i dont get it
iamnicholas ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:49:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All I do is 'win win win.'"
Rolledbutter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, no way! I also knew a kid named Win Nguyen.
When I asked where his first name came from he said, "When my mom was pregnant with me, she saw a window..."
That was the end of his explanation, I guess I was supposed to infer the rest.
Tuesdays_with_Shelob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pho restaurant in New Orleans sells T-shirts that say:
NOLA pho Life.
rayned0wn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't make that shirt. It's widely available. I live in an area with a massive Asian population and have seen that shirt multiple times. Don't believe that man!
LocomoMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know how to pronounce "Nguyen" until I read your comment. Thanks to you, I feel slightly less retarded lol
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pics or it's not true!
JULESetJIM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to school with a kid named Dustin Nguyen. All we are is Dustin Nguyen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context?
dqingqong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Win win win
hellokitty42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally work with four unrelated Nguyens. That joke got old fast, lol.
kioopi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could do them all and wear the shirt.
Answer_the_Call ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school with someone whose name was Hi Nguyen.
shadowreaper548 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Win Nguyen situation
IntaglioSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So that's how you pronounce it!
Meta__mel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a teacher at my school or is this copy pasta? Choose wisely.
BigShield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you pronounce that name?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BigShield ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
Cerwol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to know a guy whose name was Nguyen van Nguyen.
BarbedWireBlanket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey so, I worked with a guy named Dave Ng. Not Nguyen, just Ng. How would I pronounce that? 10 years later it still bothers me
LazerCats524 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to school with a few people with that last name, I always remember it being the same pronunciation as ing.
BarbedWireBlanket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense. Thanks!
twelveparsex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember how his first name was spelled, but I worked with a Say Nguyen.
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he have a bad eye?
Amisunderstanding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL how to pronounce Nguyen.
MissMarionette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how do you pronounce that last name? ๐ถ I haven't grown up exposed to Vietnamese.
bluthco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "win", I know it's weird.
VoidLantadd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my high school friends was Peter Nguyen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
A_Traumatised_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it's pronounced "win"
VoidLantadd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:54 on April 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy I knew called Nguyen pronounced it as Nigh-Jen
BarryMacochner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for those that don't get it.......win win win.
SolongStarbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to get my friend a shirt like this.
Sibire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:19 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diane?
YukinoRyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:14 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i've seen t shirts saying "for the nguyen" and "what the heo"
Whelpsies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:20 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No matter nguyat nguyat nguyat
I know I'm late, couldn't resist.
McKnitwear ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 03:23:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How should I pronounce this
LEIF-ERIKSON-DAY ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 04:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could ask 10 different Vietnamese people and get 10 acceptable answers. Most common I hear are "Noowin" and "Nwin", so this is probably supposed to be a "winning" pun
stupernan1 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 05:01:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of the 7 in my highschool, all seven said "win" as pronounciation.
2 of them dated
I secretly worried, but said nothing.
god damnit: sure it was a nguyin nguyin situation.
lurkensteinsmonster ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:08:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's probably nothing. Lots of people have identical family names while being as unrelated as 2 people possibly can be. For example Smith was the go to for when an immigrants name was too complicated for the american immigration officer to deal with back in the day. For another example when Korea made everybody record family names they all basically picked from a couple of them so there are tons of Kims who aren't related.
I don't know for sure but I'd not be surprised to learn Nguyen has a similar history.
ArkusChronika ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:16:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the start of each kings new term he allows the people to take his last name. Nguyen was the last king of vietnam. At least thats what I heard.
chocolate_solves_it ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was told this by someone named Nguyen:
Some time ago in Vietnam it was tradition to change your family name to that of the person who had most recently conquered Vietnam (or taken over as ruler - not sure it had to be an actual conquering) in order to show loyalty. I think the last guy to rule before the tradition fell away was named Nguyen, which is why the name is so prevalent.
Since this is all second-hand knowledge that I didn't personally research I'm not going to make any claims toward its accuracy, but I think it's a neat backstory.
quangtit01 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:33:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 dynasty to be exact. 2 last dynasty of Vietnam has the name of Nguyen. Also kings have lots of Wives and lots of kids
The story goes further than just that but I need to conquer Ming a bit so it's for another time
sykeohh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Long ago a lot of Vietnamese changed their last name to Nguyen when a new dynasty took over Vietnam to avoid being killed I believe.
oxilite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the problem with that... Sounds like a Nguyen-Nguyen situation to me
How_Do_I_Reddit_xD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old school's graduating classes would always do a counting chant of the number of Nguyens called out during the ceremony.
zerovin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it was a Nguyen Nguyen situation then? for them at least
Kl3rik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's an Australian thing, but all the Nguyens I know pronounce it new-in
UndeadBread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where I grew up (near a naval base in CA), it was usually pronounced "noo-yen" but I assume that's just because it was easier for everyone else. I went to school with a girl named Happy Nguyen and because of how it was pronounced in the area, kids would tease her by calling her Happy New Year.
BiNumber3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there is 1 right answer, those acceptable answers are just good enough and the Nguyeners have given up trying :)
1Maple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I was told it was like "nwy-in", so I could figure out the winning pun
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
neotekz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one in Vietnam pronounce it noowin. It's nwin, one syllable.
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 03:24:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MADDOGCA ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:58:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyennipeg
chronus_ess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NewGuineaPig
timothybugjunior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Canofmeat ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 03:23:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Nguyening"
TypicalMr501 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
N-u-inn-ing
Shlappz ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:03:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nig-gyoo-en
TypicalMr501 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yours is much better. +1 internets
yaminokaabii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:49:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... but... n isn't engma
Bheda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an operations manager in a call center - the closest we got to it with our western accent is "Gwen" for "Nguyen"
Year1939 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winning
KevlarGorilla ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:16:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you say "when", you'll be slightly mispronouncing it, but be close enough.
Also, I'll know to stop pouring.
jimmyptubas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We too low
Teuthex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bang ding ow
NateLikesToLift ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some ting wong
Problem119V-0800 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "ng" is the same sound as at the end of "sing", and the "uye" all glides together.
WastingMyLifeHere2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:43:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penguin without the pe
Piistachio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:09:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the only one that actually helped me say it lol
victorssecr3t ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good one.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
victorssecr3t ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No... Without the Pe. Meaning nguin, the last syllable.
myluckyshirt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winning
eXophoriC-G3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Uy' is usually homonous with a 'w' sound.
tri-mari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
noo winning
CptNoble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Throat Warbler Mangrove.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ng : Nig
Uye : Ooh yeah
N : Hen
Nigooyeahen
Assuming you're white: They'll look at you funny and assume you just don't know any better, which, many don't.
But the Nguyen I knew once upon a time told me it was "Yooen" or "Yuenn" where the Y is a mix of a "kn" sound (know, knit) and a "y" sound. (foreign sound to the English language so it doesn't roll off the tongue naturally)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:31 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the word sing? The Ng in Nguyen is pronounced similarly.
Try saying Sing-yu-en. Remove the Si and you've got Nguyen.
(I'm not Vietnamese, but this is how my Vietnamese friends taught me how to pronounce their names right)
airblizzard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ngwinning
Puninteresting ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't.
_AMuse_ ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Newinning I think
Deltroyd ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 03:34:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nu-yeng is how you pronounce it actually
Nerdyoctopus21 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 03:19:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there.
theconfuserx2 ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 03:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These puns are getting a bit Hanoing
Nerdyoctopus21 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will be ok. Just keep your Chen up.
Chenja ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:35:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my last name what's up
blazefalcon ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:52:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong account, man, that's your current name
Chenja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:35:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah haha I used my last name in my username, Chenja isn't my actual name
First name's Ethan nice to meet you
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
elmo85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mรผn chen?
holyshithestall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No offense but I hope that doesn't mean your full name is Chenja Chen
Chenja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope
Full name is Ethan Chen, Chenja is just a username
holyshithestall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok good, that would have been an especially difficult childhood
vaderdarthvader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Beetlejuicing
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:48:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BiNumber3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the phuc, ngo more puns for tonight
quangtit01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quit your Bich-ing
stupernan1 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 05:00:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is not a pronounced last name in my region.
downvote for you, but i wish you best of luck on future endeavors.
Imtherealwaffle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't :(
brokenfuton ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Vietnamese surname Nguyen is pronounced like "Win". So saying "Nguyening" sounds like "winning".
Imtherealwaffle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thanks. Thought it was pronounced nu-ee-en
TheNewNexus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Vietnamese clubs at my school also pronounce it this way. They allow Wen, Win, or Nuyen.
Killinger_ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me: can't get the joke if you don't know how it's pronounced (points to head)
zerovin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:45:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well i guess you can't Nguyen them all
TheGracelessGhost ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a native Vietnamese speaker, it took me a while to understand the pun. It's pronounced more like a "ween" then a "win." Like "pengween" without the "pe."
rbk41 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:29:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain this for me??
whereyouwalkin ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyen is pronounced as "Win"
4kiraL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:55:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyen and win don't sound similar to me at all... I guess you guys must pronounce it totally wrong so that it sounds like "win".
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda but not really
SOwED ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually surprised enough people know how to pronounce Nguyen for this comment to have been so successful.
4kiraL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Nguyen and I didn't get this joke at all. They probably pronounce it in a wrong way. The only thing that is similar regarding the pronounciation is that there is an 'n' at the end.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the way they pronounce it is pretty much "wen." It's not exactly correct but better than the "na-gu-yen" that some people say.
StrongPMI ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
์ ๋ ฑ
MakeMeNaked ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pho what it's worth....
-JXter- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you pho king kidding me?
danmo_96 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:39:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone who's not familiar with Vietnamese, Nguyen is a common last name that's pronounced "Noo-WIN," not "Nuh-GOO-yen" like I used to think.
Nguyenning ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:24:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You called?
Hubbli_Bubbli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huygening?
best_second_guess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguwinning
funmamareddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All that kid does is Nguyen.
soapbox24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ngo way
marsshadows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyenism
IrishWebster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that reference!
SierraDeltaNovember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joke aside, this is a good way to remember how to say that last name.
beforeyourdawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A problem with this is the Vietnamese last name Huynh is closer to the pronunciation of "Win" but somehow it's the same for Nguyen.
It bothered me in elementary school but I guess a little less than my teachers pronouncing my last name like Nuh-goo-yen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fucking shit this is one of the greatest things I've ever read.
zombiemakemelol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a Korean roommate with that last name, he asked me once, "zombiemakemelol, have you ever wanted a tentacle instead of a penis?"
I said no.
SamJayyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god hahahaha
meissa97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nguyen or you lose
diamondburned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny how people read Nguyen without the eyy as in e
TheHornyToothbrush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
Creativly_Insane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
quality
VehaMeursault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one's lost on me; what's the (I presume American) pronunciation of this?
E: And does someone know the Vietnamese pronunciation while we're at it?
Doctah_Whoopass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuh guy en ing
sL1mSh4dy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always assumed this was pronouced "nu-jen" out of pure laziness.
DisabledFeature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very nice
sullenosity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho Li Shit
zerovin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sum Ting Wong?
LightShadowMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Vietnamese and I approve of this message.
PM_me_nicetits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love this.
Katzilla912 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!!!!
thestaredcowboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
very subtle. i like it
shouldaUsedAThroway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 6th grade I thought the last name Nguyen was pronounced "ny-gin"
themostnotuniquename ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
ZlatantheRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brilliant
TheStupidZebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could've sworn it was Nyugen.
LHOOQatme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nguyenning
tI-_-tI ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
tI-_-tI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nguyening!!
dortuh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:03:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish I had gold for this one.
brover94 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 03:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English for a week in Cambodia. Those little shits were 10x smarter than me or most of my friends who are engineers. I was continually amazing by their level of troubleshooting and desire to learn. Crazy kids. Love em.
IM_NOT_CIA ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:51:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that kids(in general) discover so unique porn at such a young age these days is super impressive as well.
brover94 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:55:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really is. I'm barely into bondage and they're all the way to lemurs. Go figure.
SirCheesington ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit?
athennna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you teach English for a week?
brover94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom knows a woman who runs a school there. We visited and I did a week of teaching English.
athennna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, makes sense. Cool opportunity!
Gugmuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the spirit of this thread.. You stop before the eighth day?
LMB_mook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Badly.
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much does something like this pay? I kinda hate my job even though it pays for me to have a very comfortable life. I always wonder if teaching would be more rewarding, but I don't want to move to a foreign country and have to worry about paying bills and having enough to live
brover94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No idea honestly. I was on vacation.
Who_GNU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The manufacturing lead at my work is Cambodian. He is definitely smart.
jakielim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:31:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any examples of their genius troubleshooting?
brover94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They set up a hand pump system to carry water 200 feet to their schoolhouse and up into it.
lKaosll ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:20:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in Korea and on Tuesday we were playing a BINGO like game where the class goes "Where are you from?" then the person who is at the front draws a card and says "I am from <country on card>". Then they rotate out. The way my school works is the special needs kids are still in class but they have their own separate helper that's supposed to explain things to them since I'm not fluent enough in Korean. Apparently she didn't explain well enough, because when the student with A.D.D. went to the front and the class asked "Where are you from?" He stood there looking dumbfounded for a second, thinks for a minute, then goes "Yeogi" (here).
Scarl0tHarl0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go to 5:04 https://youtu.be/M304Xa9I25w
Jafbuya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right click on the video and "copy URL at current time".
Scarl0tHarl0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a way to do it on mobile?
lprend17 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:00:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Morty, what's 5 times 9?"
"Um, you know, it's uh, at least 40."
hyber1z0r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Morty thats exactly correct! 9 times 5 is at least 40!
mr_sprinklzzz ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:26:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a similar scene in Rick and Morty: https://youtu.be/ZgEk9nbLs0Y
pyrogeddon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was I supposed to laugh at that?
Genuinely serious question.
Jugadenaranja ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:12:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh as a standalone clip not that great. The show however is amazing once you have a feel for the characters
pyrogeddon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I hear, but it seems every time someone shows me a clip of the show, it just falls flat. It just feels like I'm missing something.
electric_paganini ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If Rick and Morty were a comedian, it would be one with long setups to their jokes. As opposed to someone with one liners. If you take only little bits of the routine it feels weaker, but if you watch the whole thing it ties it all together.
Stormcrownn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:16:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Morty is definitely a character that grows on you, although that clip isn't really all that great even with context.
Samhein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ton of context missing there. Like how it's not real. How all those people are not real. That whole episode is a mind fuck.
TheGreatTempenstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That clip in particular is pretty deep-seeded into the plot, and it's supposed to feel "off" because, without giving too much away, things are off in that clip.
It's kind of like Archer or South Park in that the jokes tend to all build off each other and it ends up with a stream of consciousness feel.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why their pupils are weird? Lol i couldn't watch it if their pupils are like that throughout the show
Jugadenaranja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's something you've gotta just dedicate like an hour or so two to get a feel for the show
SeeJayEmm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:51:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context. Lots and lots of context.
mr_sprinklzzz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:17:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's pretty evident that the show is supposed to be a comedy with the absurdist humor in the clip. You may not personally find it funny, but I honestly can't think of a more pretentious way you could have asked that question.
tommythehandsome ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not college, but places
imdungrowinup ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Politics probably.
BulbaBooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You kidding? That's a math major right there
MinimalFractal729 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A true mathematician in the making. Soon he'll be saying that we only know for certain that one side of a sheep is black :)
diamondburned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This joke was so overused in my class it's boring now
PS: Here's a joke: "WRONG!" said the Maths teacher
soullessroentgenium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future mathematician right there.
eDgEIN708 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Now, you went to four years of college and four years of medical school, so I can safely presume that you are at least eight."
anooblol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A true mathematician
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a genius Morty! Now tell us about that Concentrated Dark Matter!
edxzxz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't the correct answer actually be 'whatever it was, it's at least 15 less than that now'?
co99950 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It reminds me of the trailer for crashlands where the guy says "over 27 crafting recipes" and then text pops up on the screen that says 468+ crafting recipes.
GOpencyprep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that kid is in it to Nguyen it
Sagittariu5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you teach in Vietnam? If so, what does it take?
dyesauce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:27:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Murphy?
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Fair Witness in the making.
mydadiszeus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:47:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
APAX?
Konepaka ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:40:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly right Morty the answer is at least 40!
L0wRyd3r ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Five times nine IS at least 40! Edit: because Rick and Morty... my bad y'all
Cobbleking32486 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would require more knowledge of English than just saying the number.
MGM-Wonder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:57:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you still play DragonVale?
davikrehalt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what we call a trivial bound
KirklandKid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:05:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is EXACTLY correct Morty.
TheLastJuan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:37:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Morty what is 5x9?"
Morty: "at least 40?"
Takatalvi_Ignatio ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:42:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's 2x2?!"
"At least 4."
LinkCloth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:17:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't gat it
KiddingDuke ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Filthy ningen
Captain_Plutonium ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not college, but places
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PanzerPeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wat
DarkPurist ยท 1756 points ยท Posted at 02:22:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can finally answer one of these:
Student is reading a science magazine during a bit of downtime.
Student: "whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo, Mr....you mean to tell me pollen is like flower cum?"
Me: "Sort of."
Student: "Man, I be gettin that shit all in my face."
MetalManII ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 06:30:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allergies are just plant stds
munchkinmouse ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 04:35:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! This one made me snort.
Adaku ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 08:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar thing in grade 10 science, but it was the teacher to say it.
"Next time you're rolling around in moss, just remember: you're participating in a moss orgy."
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flower cum?
PM_ME_YOUR_CAT_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:46:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pollen does the same thing for flowers that cum does for humans. Fertilize the females
Hart_Of_Grey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:25:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just don't snort flower cum and you'll be alright
trallnar ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:13:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfertile eggs are chicken periods.
Fruit is a plant fetus
Georgia o Keefe was right about flowers being vaginas
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:34:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kurt Cobain was not right about (Courtney Love's in particular) vaginas being heart shaped boxes, though.
nutsnerem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe Courtney Love's was... I, personally, would rather take Cobain's word for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that 'porn magazine' movie she was in? I think the people vs Larry Flynn. I can speak for her boobs, can't recall her vag, hahaha.
nutsnerem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She nasty.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, drugs do that.
I always feel uncomfortable insulting celebs on the web, I'd feel like a dick if they read it. Even if it's Courtney.
She used to be damn hot, though.
Heyoceama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I though fruits were ovaries?
purplepeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:37 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fruit is from a fertilized plant (after pollen) but I'd say the seed is the fetus while the fruit is more like the uterus or amniotic sack.
Rambles_Off_Topics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa always called it tree sperm, tree semen, flower sperm/semen. Just weird to hear it from a 80 year old guy lol
RyudoKills ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Treemen
MakeBacon_NotWar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i live in an area with heavy tree pollen. i refer to it as goddamn tree jizz all the time.
purplepeach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:02 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing recently for a geography class (so this wasn't even on topic but is now the most awkward question I've been asked) when I was asked by a fifteen year old boy "Miss... what causes morning wood?" To which I replied "blood." He was shocked that I knew what morning wood was (I'm 32).
A_Filthy_Mind ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you tell him his mother was probably breathing it at that very moment?
DareToZamora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something you'd read on Ghetto Hikes
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And seeds are flower babies?
Damn that's like the staple of my diet and everybody else I know
SquidCap ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope he wasn't a native english speaker...
DareToZamora ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something you'd read on Ghetto Hikes
adjer ยท 39008 points ยท Posted at 21:54:25 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked 'when is a time you have used integrity?'
He wrote down 'I wash my hands after going to the bathroom, even if no one is in there'.
mikevanatta ยท 5314 points ยท Posted at 00:56:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think anyone I work with has any of this kind of integrity.
VigilantMike ยท 2755 points ยท Posted at 01:22:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you don't work in the food industry.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 2029 points ยท Posted at 01:40:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boss is the manager of a produce department. The look on his face when he found out there was a machine for dispensing sanitizer attached to the sink, which has been there in the same spot for at least 8 years...
Gidanocitiahisyt ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 02:31:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he had a habit of actually using the hand soap?
SoldierHawk ยท 326 points ยท Posted at 02:46:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ew yeah. I'd never just sanitize after going to the bathroom. Still feels dirty unless I actually wash them.
Qwizze ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:59:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my restaurant you're suppose to sanitize your hands after you've washed them.
SoldierHawk ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoops, I kinda forgot the context of the comment chain there--when I was in food service, I absolutely did both, and sanitized regularly.
I was thinking of now, in an office.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:03:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not both?
jakoto0 ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 03:16:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because rampant over sanitising kills the good bacteria that keep your skin and hands healthy also.
Thegiraffeguy ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 10:16:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is true. I'm a butcher and I wash my hands many times in a shift but I hardly ever sanitize my hands. It's just not needed.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:54:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ninjapro ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:59:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually, yeah. But if you're over sanitizing several times a day habitually, that "eventually" never comes
Excal2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, girlfriend's hands are still ruined from years of working the deli at Target. 5 years there, 4 years separated from that job, her hands are still a damn mess. They crack in the winter and what not even with copious lotion and whatever else.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a a gas station (for one more week, two job offers today whadup) and WAY overuse hand sanitizer. I've managed to not have anything more than mild 2 day cold in the last two years as a result. Co-workers get every bug in town because they don't sanitize after helping customers. You can tell who's sick and who you need to disinfect after, and it's worth it.
Fuck the good bacteria.
DONNIE_THE_PISSHEAD ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that it's the germs that survived the sanitizocalypse that are repopulating.
Sexy_Underpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bacteria won't develop resistance to alcohol based hand sanitizers
taberius ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:11:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also the problem that sanitzers kill somewhere between 99% and 99.9% of bacteria (when used properly) which means the remaining bacteria reproduce to become resistant to them and eventually cause an infestation of immunized bacteria to emerge. Soap is usually better (barring medical or surgical practices) because it attracts the dirt and grime that bacteria live on and removes them from your skin. The problem with the hyper sanitation that we have in developed countries is that it eliminates exposure to germs from an early age so our bodies are not prepared to fight infections when they do reach us.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:12:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The resistance thing doesn't happen with alcohol based sanitizers. It does with something like triclosan. Just a difference in the way it kills bacteria
The13thzodiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't triclosan banned now as well(in commercial handsoaps)?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's supposed to be phased out
The_Pink_Sweater ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might want yo recheck that information. The bacterias becoming resistant to something occurs when the said antiseptic works in such a way that it breaks down the nucleus or tries to alter the genome of the bacteria. Hand sanitizers are basically just bludgeoning bacteria to hell. So even if there are some that remain they do not become resistant. This is for the normal sanitizers that we use. Might be a different case for sanitizers used at hospitals for cleaning surgical equipment and stuff.
taberius ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original bacteria do not become resistant but when one continually uses sanitizer, through rapid natural selection it will breed bacteria that are immune to that sanitizer.
Genericuser2016 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:54:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bacteria developing immunity to alcohol would be like people developing immunity to fire.
The13thzodiac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily, that doesn't apply to most hand sanitizers as they are alcohol based. Can't adapt to bleach either.
Beefsteakers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything but the first statement is true. The main ingredient in hand sanitzer is alcohol, which is next to impossible for a bacteria develop a resistant too. This is because alcohol denatures vital proteins that in turn breaks down the cell membrane of the bacterium. The real reason why is stated as 99.9% is because in the rules of probability you will not be able to kill all bacteria in a set area without perfect conditions. A sanitizer by definition is too bring the level of harmful bacteria to "safe levels".
R0b0tJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The big problem with hand sanitizers is that they don't have any benefit. Outside of a clinical setting, numerous studies have failed to show that they contribute to any increase in health.
If they actually prevented people from getting sick, there might be a reason to use them, but they don't.
Teledildonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand sanitizers have their place. I carry a bottle when out for when bathrooms are out of soap or I'm somewhere where I don't have easy access to a bathroom.
R0b0tJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:08 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you carry a bottle to substitute for washing your hands, doesn't mean that it's effective.
Teledildonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:32 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if I can't wash my hands, it's better the the alternative of "nothing".
Esotericism_77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can bacteria develop immunity to nearly pure alcohol?
Rapier_and_Pwnard ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:58:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then don't weigh in
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't understand that what I said was wrong if no one tells me this. This is an example. I already got 3-4 other responses that explained the problem now though.
EDIT: At the least, this has at least made me realize that adage that I can't currently remember the name of holds some truth. If you want to get the right answer, don't even bother asking the question. Just say something wrong and you'll get corrected really quickly..
preoncollidor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if he is a boxer?
THE_CHOPPA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She then what's the point?
SoldierHawk ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I have no problem with that. I don't like sanitizer myself unless I have no other option (I'd much rather wash my hands), but both is fine too.
oneeighthirish ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:12:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy disinfects.
MAzayuer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pssh, what a nerd.
straystring ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hospital worker here: Hand sanitisation (I'm assuming you're referring to the alcohol/antibacterial gel that you rub into your hands and it dries without the need for water) is actually far more hygienic than soap+water, as it actually kills any bacteria/germs/etc. Soap doesn't contain any bacteriocidal properties, so at most it can move the germs off your hands and down the drain. Unless you're actually washing out each individual pore, it's not gonna get everything. Alcohol/Antibacterial gel will.
Unless there is visible crud on your hands, of course, then absolutely wash with soap and water, becuase you need to remove it.
Kinda like how toothpaste doesn't inherently reduce mouth bacteria, it's just an abrasive paste to get the crud that houses the bacteria off the teeth, giving them less opportunity to flourish.
edit: just had the thought that it's possible that hand sanitisers used in food service, etc, might not be as proficient in killing bacteria as hospital grade stuff...so...ymmv?
McSquiggglez ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Restaurant inspector here. Sanitizing by itself in restaurants is ineffective because of the naturally greasy and oily environment. Foods have their own fats and oils, so soap and warm water are needed to break down those oils and like you said, help flush them away. Sanitizer by itself isn't great at breaking fats and oils down, so they aren't actually killed due to the protection offered.
p.s. This is a slightly oversimplified explanation of why hand washing is important in restaurants.
straystring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:56 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah see, there you go - different uses for different situations.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:48 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked in a dish-washing room, there are TONS of weird tricks about getting stuff clean (dump the leftover coffee into the baked-on chili pot, and the expired lemons into the coffee pot to scrub off any charred remnants. Also some of the chemicals are pure magic; what I wouldn't give for a gallon of good ol' purple degreaser for my home kitchen!
BretticusWins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't soap kill germs because they're fat soluble? Am I mistaken?
nickf579 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soap doesn't kill anything. It simply picks up the germs and other gunk and then washes off your hands.
TheKingCrimsonWorld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is mouthwash like antibacterial stuff for your mouth?
Esotericism_77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The alcohol is what kills the bacteria.
dimichuji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about antibacterial soap?
gregspornthrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know whether this has moved forward or not, but the FDA announced they were banning it in September.
straystring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:47 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For reals? Any idea about why?
gregspornthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because they're an ecological and epidemiological disaster with no proven benefit.
BananaNutJob ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The party of small government, eh?
gregspornthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck are you talking about?
straystring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:19 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it is probably just as efficient - but assuming it's still soap and therefore a fat emulsifier, you're still removing your natural oils from your skin whenever you wash them - meaning there is less of a barrier between you and bacteria,etc.
That's the other benefit of the gels - they don't dry your hands out because they don't remove your natural oils. Intact oils means less chance of dry,cracked skin - less dry, cracked skin means less chance of catching, carrying, and transferring infection.
I mean, in reality, as long as you're not handling multiple meats between hand washes (cross contamination), and keeping your hands free of gunk, either soap or gels are just as good as each other in a day-to-day context. It only really becomes a problem when there's the potential of catching or transferring diseases to those in a healthcare setting who might have a compromised immune system or something really nasty that will overcome a healthy immune system. Apologies for spelling/ formatting - on my phone
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:08 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the alcohol dries your skin out like crazy. I know teenagers who compulsively use gels and their hands look like they're seventy. D:
straystring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:24 on June 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Key word there is 'compulsively' - my hospital has moisturiser dispensers next to every alcohol gel dispenser and handwash basin for exactly that reason - because we have to clean our hands over 100 times a day as per health and safety recommendations, before and after seeing every single patient. Cleaning your hands with anything that often is going to wreck your skin, but alcohol gels will wreck it less, hence their promotion in a healthcare setting.
If they were washing their hands with soap and water as often as they were gelling, their skin would be even worse - moisturiser is your friend. And they really don't need to be cleaning their hands that often full stop; our skin naturally has heaps of health promoting bacteria all over it - referred to as 'native' flora (as in, it's supposed to be there) as opposed to foreign flora (as in, not supposed to be there, bacteria that will make you sick), and removing all that native flora frequently is also really bad for your skin - in healthcare workers' case, we're much more likely to encounter foreign sickness-producing flora than most professions, so there's more benefit to destroying that (and unfortunately our native flora) than there is to keeping our native flora.
laeiryn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:04 on June 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! But they're germophobes. I wash my hands before I handle food/eat, after I go to the bathroom, or if they're visibly/tangibly dirty, and that's about it. I also try to explain to friends that no, they shouldn't shower every day and scrub every inch of themselves with the same strong chemicals, and if you have a vagina, you really oughtn't be douching it... !
i_wanted_to_say ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it is still dirty, covered in the filth of 99.99% dead bacteria.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if you worked there for eight years, there's gonna be a time when there's no soap. In that case, hand sanitizer is a viable substitute.
Unless they never ran out of soap because literally no one because the manager used the soap. This could be a conspiracy.
__chubbear ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe some people use sanitizer just to clean their hands before they hold their junk. I'm not tryna give myself a burn, so I'll stick to soap and water though
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not actually talking about the bathroom. I'm talking about the sinks where we rinse the veggies and dump the mop water.
fundudeonacracker ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think one sink is supposed to serve both functions. At least not in America.
ImThatGuyToday ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:17:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some places have 'split sink' setups. Huge monstrosities, of course there is spill but yeah separate sinks doesn't always mean far apart.
fundudeonacracker ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:31:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You still don't dump mop water anywhere near floating lettuce. Even with a split sink that's so many points off your inspection. You're looking at a "C" in the window at best.
5bi5 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a franchise Subway. The mop sink was broken when I started there. We used the same sink for mop water, washing dishes, AND rinsing veggies. (Not that many of my coworkers were interested in that.) [I have food safety certifications. I tried telling my boss this was not a good thing. He didn't care.]
After a few years I was working one day during a health inspection. The inspector noticed that we had a large pan over the mop sink and had stacked boxes on it. "Is that your mop sink?" she asked me.
This was my time to shine. I gave her my biggest smile and said, "No, that sink doesn't work. We use this." And slapped the side of the dish sink.
We had a new mop sink the very next day, and my boss was pissed at me.
I can tell gross/stupid/illegal stories about this place for hours, btw.
Ghostronic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did 6 years at Pizza Hut, can do the same!
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 years for me. Miserable the whole time, but I do have great stories from the experience.
WHYRedditHatesMeSo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell us your best story/stories
5bi5 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:17:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2 best stories. The first is "Owner Feeds Customer Moldy Bread."
Subway used to have english muffin breakfast sandwiches. They were not popular and the muffins would sit around for days or weeks between orders. One morning I'm working breakfast alone and we get a small rush of about 6 people. The owner was there (we didn't have a manager, just the owner coming in once or twice a day for an hour or so) doing whatever he did at his desk, so he came up to help me on the line.
Some of the customers were construction workers. 1/2 way thru the line there is this disgusting, putrid smell permeating the entire store. I'm all "damn one of these guys need a shower." the smell left with the customers. Owner left to visit one of the other stores (he owns 3).
After he left I get a phone call. Customer says his sandwich is moldy. He ordered the english muffin. I go and grab the bag of muffins--they are so moldy they are disintegrating from the pressure of my fingertips holding the bag. They are red, green, grey, and the smell--I almost threw up when I opened it. (It was the smell from earlier.) There is no way the owner could have missed the condition of this bread while making the sandwich.
I said, "I am very sorry sir. You need to report this to corporate because the owner made your sandwich." He came in and I gave him a refund and a dozen cookies. "Please take these--I swear I made them fresh just for you--what happened was terrible and its the least I can do."
Owner comes back in. I explain what happened and shove the smelly bag of muffins under his nose and force him to take a good strong whiff. "You fed this shit to a customer. What the hell is wrong with you? You could get sued for this!"
His response? "Okay, okay, jeez, I feel bad enough already." I continued to berate him until he left. (I did not get in trouble for this--I never got into real trouble for anything I said or did, and I said a a lot of things.)
That customer was a regular. He came in a few times a week. Never saw him again. Obviously. If he did call corporate I didn't hear about it.
**
My other favorite is the day I quit. After 4 years of hell (my husband was unemployed for a chunk of time so I couldnt risk changing jobs) I was at my wits end. Every day I would be sobbing in the cooler or throwing and breaking things in frustration. I'm an extreme introvert with anxiety issues, so working the line was always the worst. By the end I was literally crying in front of the customers while I made their sandwiches.
One customer complained about my "poor attitude" and the owner got on my ass about it. I explained to him how miserable I was. He said to me, "You need to learn to accept your place in life."
Yeah. Accept my place at his shitty dirty Subway with no health insurance, sick time, vacation or anything.
I was working with only 1 other person that day, and she was 8 months pregnant. She was supposed to leave at 3 pm and my replacement wasn't due in until 5, so I was going to be alone for 2 hours. My fury had been growing all day, and I knew I wasn't going to make it. I told her "Get out now. You don't wanna be here when what's going down goes down."
So she leaves. I'm the only person in the store. I call my husband to come pick me up and I leave, locking the door behind me. (Once a former employee walked out at 7 am, bread in the oven, door unlocked, so this was damn responsible of me.) I text my boss and tell him that I quit and his store is empty.
He calls me while I'm still in the parking lot and begs me to go back. I told him to fuck off.
TL;DR: just spent twenty minutes writing and proofreading this post. Go read the damn thing.
ChosenSloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great stories, worth the read. Good on you for getting away from that toxic business. No matter how hard you try, you can't stop an owner from ruining their business with indifference.
5bi5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I quit the store was only making about $600 a day. Dude was bleeding money. It was hilarious.
SJ_RED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet TL;DR.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a Subway once.
"Sandwich Artist" picked her nose with her glove, then continued making a sandwich.
Other "Sandwich Artist" was playing with her phone with gloves on waiting for bread to toast.
I turned right around and left. Never went back.
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds about right.
HeyChaseMyDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you're a workers' hero. Yes, you're welcome to give the best story.
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wrote a novel in response to someone else--go check it out for more heroics.
fortknox4tiddies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please do. I love hearing about dumb health code violations :') p.s. ex food service worker
5bi5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a long reply to someone else asking for more, but here's another good one:
Our hot water heater was so small filling up the sink once was enough to deplete the hot water for a few hours. This alone was against code.
The hot water tank was located in the ceiling over the employee restroom. One day it began to leak. After a few weeks the ceiling fell down. After a few more weeks we had water POURING OUT OF THE LIGHT FIXTURE. A few weeks after that he put in a new water tank. (No, i didn't report it. I wanted the damn place to burn down. I just avoided the bathroom.)
About a month after that the health department finally realizes we never have hot water and makes him replace the tank he just had installed with a larger one. The old new tank sat in the corner of the bathroom and was still there when I rage-quit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:24:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
5bi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well thats the funny thing about being poor and needing a job.
ImThatGuyToday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What you mean is "you're not suppose to" which I agree.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not, but at least I sanitize it after they're done with it.
Maoman1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's been using the sanitizer as soap all this time.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:41:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:14:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to be an alcoholic, c'mon!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a strip club when I was 18. So many guys were going into the bathroom and not washing their hands that one night the bathroom attendant went to the dj and had him announce that "Everyone needs to wash their hands like big boys.."
HeyChaseMyDragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Magnificent. Partially a sub fetish, fully embarrassing.
FloralCrownBorgQueen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:43:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope his reason for not knowing where the sanitizer is was because he always used proper handwashing technique with soap and warm water...
cool_weed_dad ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:18:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every real kitchen I've worked in did not use hand sanitizer because it's going to transfer from your hands onto the food. I'm guessing you used gloves so that point is kind of moot but sanitizer is not required for food handing.
FranzHiggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Dunkin Donuts, we just used soap and water for washing our hands. Even before putting gloves on because you have to touch the gloves to put them on. That might've just been the store I worked at though.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A) Produce department
B) I'm not talking about a bathroom sink or hand sanitizer, I'm talking about the department sink and company issued sanitizer. It's part of our operations to use it every day.
cool_weed_dad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that, I was just saying hand sanitizer is frowned upon in food handling (or at least should be more widely) because it can transfer to the food. Proper hand washing with soap is enough. I'm guessing you wore gloves so it's moot, but proper hand washing with bare hands is still more sanitary than gloves anyways.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sorry I misunderstood your 'tone'. You're quite right.
serizzzzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plugs ears LALALALALA!!! NOT HEARING THISSS!!!!
fletchindr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least he probably just manages people rather than touch the produce directly?
serizzzzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
phewwww.... good save. thank you :)
laeiryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:44 on June 2, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wash your produce when you get home.
Fawlty_Towers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What chain does this produce department reside in?
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just say if you don't live in Canada you don't have to worry about it, and if you do you can use these guys to figure out the initials: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffen-SS
Fawlty_Towers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burn. Canada. Got it.
sericatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nonononononono
fletchindr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he made manager by never pooping on company time
asailor4you ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there sanitizer instead of soap?
roboninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sanitizer is not needed next to a sink. Soap and water wash your hands.
I never use that sanitizer shit. Smells horrible and dries your skin out something fierce.
mikevanatta ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank goodness no. Office work. Bunch of people passing their nasty ass germs around.
JetDagger01 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know right, I mean if you spent 20 min taking a dump you should be able to spend 2 more cleaning your hands. I know this guy at work and one thing is for sure, NEVER touch his keyboard or phone.
Story time:
I'm in the can doing my thing when he goes into the stall next to me, i know this cause you can hear his footsteps. 1 min later i hear the loudest bloop sound of shit hitting the water i have ever heard in my life, a second later he gets a phone call and starts talking on the phone while releasing the missiles down. Then whips his ass (still on the phone) and just walks away. I can never look him in the eye ever again...
EDIT: Wipe, not whip... english
mikevanatta ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:03:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an old fashioned bear claw he pulled, and it should never be forgotten.
whitechristianjesus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dude opted for whipping instead of wiping? What an absolute freak!
KAODEATH ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:23:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was very confused why a man would whip his own ass on the toilet...
sealedinterface ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of nasty-ass dump would warrant a two-minute hand wash?
HowObvious ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Complete tangent but why are bathroom doors pull to exit?
MalHeartsNutmeg ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:06:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you don't smash someone in the face as you exit.
HowObvious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But often there is one push then a pull, what if I hit someone there? What about hitting someone leaving the bathroom as you enter?
ashkul ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have a business to attend to quickly. They get priority!
Xervicx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:33:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the food industry, someone not washing their hands after they use the bathroom is the least disgusting thing that goes into food preparation. Soda nozzles typically aren't cleaned as often as they should. Food that is dropped won't always be thrown away. Sneezes and coughs aren't always covered. Hair nets are for looks, not for function (as in, no one in the back wears them). Bug spray will be sprayed where it will settle on clean dishes, that are used for serving food the next day. There are many more things to worry about as well, and they change depending on the place, but there are almost always a combination of the things on this list, and much much more that you won't expect until you've worked there for a few weeks.
MyPacman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a laboratory for a meat works, after seeing the bug counts, I spent the next 10 years going 'don't think about it... don't think about it' every time I ate. Every time.
walkingspastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention no sick days and your boss actively making you work even while vomiting! Or the ice bins that mold cause they never get washed. Or the iced tea urn nozzles that like, 25% of workers don't realize come apart to be cleaned. Or the soda gun line at the bar that actually can't be completely cleaned. Or the fact that most dishes have to be run through twice to actually be clean but we constantly mix up the piles of half-clean and actually-clean dishes. Or that nobody cleans the fruit we use for garnishing teas or cocktails....
Or the fact that I've literally seen people wash their hands only a handful of times despite working in the industry for almost 5 years now... And most of those times were exiting the bathroom, but never again.
Redhavok ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work in kitchens, people aren't as careful with your food as you think.
Bolts, dead flies, beard hairs, all kinds of stuff falls in that just flicked off, the food isn't bad because the chef sucks(necessarily) it's because they are trying to get rid of crappy ingredients(eg, the stuff the bugs found, stuff in the freezer when it lost power), your food that takes ages to warm up was sitting on the bench near the dirty dishes for 15 minutes and then nuked in the microwave for 40 seconds, the floor is covered in garabage juice because someone just went out for a smoke by the dumpster, the sou chef has a cold and is coughing everywhere, the dishy makes an effort to fuck with everything because his job sucks and people treat him like shit, the waitress drop cultlery on the garbage floor and put it in with all of the clean cultery, might put a rotten egg or some off milk or something in with a bulk 'no-one will notice', sweat drips on everything.
Thought it was just the first shithole I went to but it happens in classy places too, there's always at least one little E list villain hiding out there.
JamesGoodall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've made me feel so much better about my job now, holy shit. Thank you for reassuring me that I don't work in a complete shit hole.
kickingpplisfun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They always work in the food industry. Back when I worked at Starbucks, I actually got yelled at for washing my hands too much, although it got to the point where sometimes people would specifically request their beverages be made by me. Of course, I just can't stand to have the feeling of something sticky on my hands, and that place was all about sticky substances.
Fuddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen chefs come into the toilet, peed, and walked out without washing their hands. This is in a high-end restaurant in Hong Kong.
u38cg2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Food industry QC here. I have bad, bad news for you.
DiscordianStooge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they must wash their hands. There is a sign and everything.
KinkyMonitorLizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly it's extremely common. I've seen some disgusting shit in my time. Next to no one does the required 30 seconds and managers will bitch at you if you do.
The_Follower1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny story, I used to work at McDonalds in highschool and one of my coworkers used her hands to grab raw patties and then proceeded to make burgers...without washing her hands.
To be fair, beef is almost certainly cleaner than chicken, but wtf?!?
Edit: phrasing
Esotericism_77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ground meat is not clean because all the surface bacteria that is on all meat is chopped and mixed up rather than staying on the surface. That's why you should always cook burgers through. Unlike steaks, a good sear will not kill most of the bacteria in a patty that are on the inside.
The_Follower1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, I meant it more as 'cleaner than chicken' since as far as I know chicken typically carries more bacteria that are dangerous to humans. My phrasing was definitely wrong there, but I was wrong about the degree of uncleanliness, so thanks!
Ococha8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So a friend went to a restaurant and ask for a soup, after a moment he accidentally dropped the spoon and immediately the waiter gives him another, he was really surprised and asked the waiter how did he get him a spoon so fast, so the waiter said "well a marketing team came this year and teach us some tricks to improve our business, they said that a great percentage of people drop their spoon while eating soup, so it takes time to us to notice, and when we come back with the spoon the soup is already cold, so we have to heat it, wasting your time, our time, and electricity, so every waiter carries a spoon in his pocket to do it as fast as possible "." well that's genius" said my friend and continued eating his soup. After a while he noticed that every waiter has a short thread coming out of their pant zippers, so he called his waiter and ask for an explanation. The waiter said "well the same marketing team told us that when you have to pee you get your hands dirty so after yo have to wash them wasting time, water and soup, so you put down your zipper and the thread is gently tied to my friend down there, all you have to do is pull the thread and is out without touching it". "oh! That's brilliant" said my friend. But after thinking a while he called the waiter again and asked "So, how do you managed to put your friend back in?" and the waiter said "well I don't know the others but I use the spoon".
Edit: I am learning english, and my teacher said that I should practice my writing more, so I'm starting to use reddit as my practice place so is more fun and interactive. Sorry for grammatical or any other mistake, fell free to correct me. Thanks
VigilantMike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your English is great, I understood everything you said. I wouldn't have known that you weren't a native speaker if you hadn't said so. Just a couple tense agreement mistakes.
Example
Asked for soup
Ococha8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I really appreciate that. Yeah sometimes I forgot in which tense I'm speaking, but with more practice i should be good
Dmacxxx77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the food industry at a restaurant. I think I'm the only person that actually washes my hands. It's pretty sad to see people that are ServSafe certified that don't wash their fucking hands. The thing that pisses me off most is not washing hands after smoking. It's so disgusting.
2000and17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, medical.
Minstral_Meadows ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same, I've watched people just walk out without washing their hands. Every person in the building goes through the same door in and out. Wash your damn hands people!
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See that at the grocery store all the damn time.
They touch their dicks, then the door, then squeeze all the god damn fruits and veggies and grab boxes off the shelves and put them back. Now you've got dick melons.
This is why you're supposed to wash all fruits and veggies, even the ones you don't eat the rind/skin of, especially if you cut into them (like melons and avocados).
PaigeTheGreat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my hands when I shit on them. I may wash my hands before touching my pecker...
monkeybrain3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
none of the workers have integrity at the gym I go to nowadays. I'm there washing my hands after I use the restroom, a worker comes in, uses the urinal, and just walks fucking straight back out. Like dude and then they have the gall to give me a stink face when instead of highfiving/handshake when I walk into the gym I try to just bump fists with them.
Yvgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same at my place of employment, and we don't have automatic urinals, so their nasty piss gets to sit there and ferment until the next poor sap comes in.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool bro, I'm sure they wipe off all the equipment after using them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know if no one is there?
mikevanatta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sit about 10 feet away from the bathroom. I can hear whether or not the sink turns on.
WhiteSkyRising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if they don't wash their hands. I don't want them to piss on the floor. How do you not perfectly hit the overhanging urinal? Even when you do the ol' drip drop shake shake toothpaste squeeze, I'm still standing over the urinal. How do the puddles form.
anonny2144 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly wondering if I have ever come in contact with a human that has this much integrity
MrGlayden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people I work with dont even know how to not piss on the floor
Vragspark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its disgusting how many people walk out of public bathrooms without washing their hands
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I don't understand is the people who just turn on the tap for like a second and wet their hands and then walk out. Like what was the point of that?
-Karakui ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... why? That's something I can't understand. Why would you not wash your hands? It takes like, 30 seconds.
rearviewmirror71 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dick's clean
theconfuserx2 ยท 7621 points ยท Posted at 23:25:04 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Santa approves
StartupDino ยท 892 points ยท Posted at 01:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out. I'm confused.
Flexible_Perplexity ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 01:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username didn't originally check out until you made it check out by getting confused by completely non-confusing comment.
Pacman327 ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 01:52:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
User name checks out. This is perplexing
mbek2000 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 01:58:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...and flexible.
PM_UR_HAIRY_MUFF ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:38:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mad87645 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:32:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only via PM
probablyhrenrai ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about this smooth one?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click of the day complete. I can sleep now.
bevijeen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg. I have never been more confused in my life.
NotLordShaxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd need reach to argue that it checks out.
deadly_meyers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I mean, it really can go either way, if you think about it.
SpicyChickenGoodness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These joke chase me as ghosts in my dreams until I eat a special for and I eat them as they run back to you oh God that was too KORNy aaahahahahahaha
sealedinterface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comment is still confusing. Why would Santa in particular approve?
Finkle_N_Einhorn ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because Santa knows when you've been bad or good. He's omniscient.
TequilaNinja666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, now I'm really confused. I thought he was omnipotent
Finkle_N_Einhorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether he's omnipotent is still a bit of a mystery, but science has confirmed that he is omnipresent at least once a year on Christmas. In the weeks leading up to the holiday he can be spotted in thousands of locations at one time.
BananaNutJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
potent=powerful
scient=knowing
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can confuse with a non-confusing comment.
He's not a confuser. He's The Confuser.
Twice.
leahjuu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might say they were flexible with the definition of perplexing
BlakBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is also true for me as well too
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schrodinger's username.
SimplyComplexd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like we should be friends.
Lmnhedz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes two of us.
GenesisEra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/StartupDino hit itself in confusion!
-Tooth- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be the second one confused, according to the username.
laplumedematante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be good for goodness sake...
wanderinghistorian ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:12:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I first read this as "Satan approves" and I was confused to why he'd be so focused on proper hygiene.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:19:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What Satan can't like clean hands? Racist
Elitist-Jerk- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:17:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Santa watches me pee?
MisterDonkey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that guy is a total perv. He tried coming down my chimney.
Raya_Aroukii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Chris Hansen. I'd like to talk with this "Santa." Do you know where I can find him?
santas_clawz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He does.
shmough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's very Sanitary.
fridgesanta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Santa does approve
Swiftsolar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SANTA!!!!! \โ_โ/
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW HIM!
Extremesanta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed
platinumsombro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the bright side, there was probably worse stuff in your food regardless
JarMediator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... You aren't Santa Username checks out
RINGER4567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is the only reason i did it. when i found out... i dont give a fuck about washing my hand
PM-ME_UR_FEET_LADIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love satan
PM-ME_UR_FEET_LADIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I meant santa
Scientist_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, how much time do you spend on reddit? I see your comment on every post. Are you unemployed or rich or something?
theconfuserx2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason you see my comments everywhere is because I strategically comment on posts that I know will go to the front page or are trending. It takes me 5-10 seconds to come up with and write a witty comment that will most likely end up getting upvoted. If I'm at work or something and on my break, I'll open Reddit in my phone, go to a big subreddit like /r/AskReddit, sort by hot, open up a post, and if I can leave a comment in a spot where people will see then I do it. Like I said, the process takes seconds.
Scientist_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, not bad. How much Karma do you have?
theconfuserx2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Over 400k in comment karma. This account is like 5 months old but I really didn't start going for karma until 2 months ago
Scientist_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:57 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fucking Christ. That's impressive. Does having high karma give you any advantages?
MalfusUranium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:12 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right here: this is Reddit gold!
wattsie247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sees you when you're peeing
imnotyourlilbeotch ยท 976 points ยท Posted at 00:39:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My college seems to have a shortage of integrity...
PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_SASS ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My workplace seems to have a lack of integrity
KaptainKershaw ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too! Fucking heathens. And I get looked at funny for using my paper towel to open the door on the way out.
JustAnotherAvocado ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I usually just carry around a small bottle of hand sanitizer, my friends make fun of me for doing it but I don't want people's germs on my hands
fly3rs18 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:54:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only the human body figured out a way to kill harmful bacteria for us. If only....
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So does mine. Except I guess you can't really expect cows to wash their hooves after pooping.
Key_nine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:19:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So does my local Burger King, no soap in the bathroom and the sink was bone dry. Can only lead to one thing...
gitathelithuanian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:30:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ebola?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:06:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most doctors lack integrity. I work in hospitals as an outside contractor. I have been in the bathroom many times while a doctor was in there. I have yet
seento see them wash their hands when they were finished.[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:32:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't. The people I work for are cowards. Stuff has been brought up before, but the hospital just threatens to take away our contract. We are looked at like we are the lowest form of scum. Funny thing is that we make more than most of the people there. So we just laugh to ourselves and give them little smirks of enjoyment.
CanIGetANude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I seem to have a shortage of integrity
im_saying_its_aliens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the scene in Yakuza Zero when you bust into a bathroom and the goons lining up at the urinal break off to fight you without stopping to wash their goddamn hands.
Usershipdown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay no lie, I don't always wash my hands after pissing. I mean first of all, nobody fuckin washes up after a whiz in the woods, men and woman alike. Secondly it's just some cock sweat and ammonia. Thirdly if it's not lunch and no ones eating and everyone's doing dirty work anyways than fuck it.
But let me say this, I will ALWAYS vigorously wash my motherfucking hands in a college washroom. Those places are fucking gross with the amount of traffic they see. I don't really care if I get a bit of someone's cock microbes on me. There's not any major std's that actually will transmit that way. I just don't have time to get the god damn flu.
WillieNederWiet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:50:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean washing your hands and touching all the handles and sinks that everyone touches with their dirty and clean hands that get maybe washed once a day?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My college seems to have a shortage of water
jw88p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's every university. Mine is the top in my country and I don't know a single person who doesn't cheat.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will hear someone run in, go to the bathroom, then leave in about 30 seconds. Nobody ever washes their hands, and it's appalling.
sinkrate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen so many people not wash their hands after taking a shit.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I've never caught my friends doing this, because that's a deal breaker. Poop hands are not welcome in my home.
i_search_for_sex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why college is great.
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the problem with public bathrooms is that the sinks doorhandles are almost always dirtier than your hands or dick. And if you learned to, like a normal person, to not pee on your hands you're safe. but a dookie always requires a wash.
BAMspek ยท 1432 points ยท Posted at 01:01:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate this guy. I hate seeing people leave the bathroom without washing their hands. You're a grown adult I shouldn't have to tell you that's gross.
Edit: look. Guys. Your dick is dirty no matter how much you tell yourself it's not. Your genitals are sweaty and stuffy and rubbing up against your asshole all day. Just wash your fucking hands and stop getting your dick sweat all over everything. It's really not a difficult thing.
FoxIslander ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...it's kinda a thing of mine when I'm in a public can to notice the people that don't wash their hands. I'd anecdotally say around 50%.
Pleasehelpmeretire ยท 528 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Know what I find gross? Any and all surfaces in the bathroom.
I touched the skin on my dick, I'm not about to touch taps and faucets and door knobs that you touched after more than likely accidentally fingering your shit hole while wiping your ass
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:41:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See I'm backwards. I wash my hands first as well because I don't like the idea of touching my dick after touching anything in the bathroom.
jazzieberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin talks about that in one of his stand-ups
thefuzzylogic ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 01:53:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick skin isn't clean, it's been stewing in your sweaty crotch-brine all day.
If everyone washed their hands, the door handle would be clean. Also did you not flush? What about all the other handles and surfaces you've been touching all day? Have you used your hands to cover a cough or sneeze? Et cetera.
steaknsteak ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:19:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well a lot of assholes don't flush, probably using the same logic as that guy.
littlegirlghostship ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just gave me a small epiphany as to why some people don't flush in a public restroom
3brithil ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:34:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and it's fucking disgusting
wolf_man007 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:10:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just use your foot.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:21:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I flush with the ~
bottom~ tip of my shoe in public bathrooms since the levers are always hugetbh I thought that's what you were supposed to do and I've never even considered touching one with my hand.
edit: realized "bottom" sounds way worse, I use the toe part of my shoe.
I really never considered people touch those grody fuckin things with their hands, sorry friends, probably still going to keep doing it though.
Geminel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, like, I get that you wouldn't wanna touch'em with your hands...
But, uh... have ya tried elbows?
char-charmanda ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:56:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little weirded out that the default is using FEET. That's disgusting, too. I mean, toilet paper, paper towel, seat cover, elbow... all of those things seem normal enough if you're stuck in a really nasty bathroom.
I do not want to sit on a seat you pissed on from squatting and not lifting the lid, or whatever your SHOE has been in.
I try to just wait until I get home, or I cover the seat that doesn't have spots of piss/blood and sit down because ffs people are seriously gross sometimes.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tall so leaning over with my elbows would be a real pain, touching it w/ my hands is already harder (AND GROSSER) than using the tip of my shoe.
I don't understand why they'd make the levers so huge if they were intended for hands like a normal home toilet tbh. it just never really occurred to me.
thefuzzylogic ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 02:28:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you just use your hands like a civilised human if you're just going to wash them straight after? Public toilets are only dirty because users make them so while trying to avoid touching everything.
Also, most public toilets are cleaned multiple times a day, and are therefore cleaner (microbially speaking) than your bathroom at home.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use my hands because most public bathrooms I've seen look pretty nasty. I'm also p tall so I have to reach down or walk up close to it to flush, both are more of a hassle than shoving my foot on the handle.
If people are washing their hands right after anyway then who cares, right? lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I just figure it's easy enough to make metal look clean and not actually clean it
no harm done by me using the tip of my shoe, and it really is just more convenient for me aside from being infinitely less gross to me
imFreshYo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the chicks that piss everywhere cause they dont want to touch the yucky seat.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bacteria doesn't survive very long on metal surfaces anyway. It's cold, dry, and non-porous. These are all things bacteria do not like.
thefuzzylogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, which is why I don't really think twice about touching it or the taps or the door.
dan_arth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use my elbow. Learn from my superior ways.
contraigon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you touch the door after you wash your hands, which negates the whole point of washing them in the first place.
thefuzzylogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't. There is residual protection for a few minutes after washing your hands, depending on the type of soap. Also you start with much cleaner hands and maybe pick up a minuscule amount of contamination in the second or two you're touching the handle.
That's not to mention that if everyone washed their hands before leaving then the handle would stay clean.
The best toilet doors are the ones you can push open from either direction, but that's rare unless the ingress and egress are separate.
cmk2877 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ew, no. I'll keep using my shoe.
MangoMambo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You really... honestly thought that people were SUPPOSED to flush with their feet?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:10:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
public toilets, sure - why else would they make the levers 8x bigger
MangoMambo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are the levers only supposed to be as big as the tip of your fingers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say that, I just don't see why they come out literally a foot when the only ones I've seen outside of public restrooms are like 2-3 inches long and 1 inch wide if you're meant to use them like any other flush lever.
dick joke setup unintentional
rat3an ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not anti washing hands, I just think washing them after the bathroom specifically isn't more necessary than any other time beyond people thinking the bathroom is "gross".
Your keyboard and mouse have far more germs and you touch at a lot more of them, but nobody cares if you wash after touching them.
thefuzzylogic ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Washing after the bathroom is important because the decaying organic matter in a humid environment makes it a more likely place to encounter harmful pathogens.
However, you're right that people should make a habit of washing their hands whenever possible because of all the crap (no pun intended) they touch on a daily basis.
Don't forget smartphones, which are basically just poopsicles since many people use them in the bathroom.
prancingElephant ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also because crotch sweat is tainted with tiny particles of fecal matter.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why it smells so good?
char-charmanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thatsmyfetish.jpg
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, that's not an issue because I enjoy licking vaginas. Have you seen a vagina? It's like one inch away from an asshole. I don't give a damn if she just ran a marathon, I'm going to eat it like a starving Ethiopian would eat a Christmas ham. I might even tongue-punch her fart box a few times just to spice things up a bit. Hand washing is for punks.
imFreshYo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
das just how we do things round er
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1/3rd of Ethiopians are Islamic. I doubt they'll be touching the Christmas Ham.
BallMusk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2/3 will, right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you're hungry, religious taboos don't matter. Cannibalism is frowned upon in all the major religions, but that doesn't stop people from eating each other when they are dying from starvation. You bringing up the fact that Ethiopia has a minority Muslim population is pretty much irrelevant to begin with. If 2/3rds of Ethiopians are Christian, then my comment makes perfect sense. It was just a joke anyway so there's no need to overanalyze.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thefuzzylogic ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you flush a urinal with your foot unless you're some kind of contortionist? Also I think of putting my feet on things that are meant to be touched the same as people putting their feet on the seats on trains or keeping shoes on in someone else's house. It's selfish and inconsiderate.
I do cough and sneeze into my elbow, that was my point. Hands get dirty whether or not you touch the flush handle or the taps or the door.
I wash my hands (using proper technique, like a surgeon) pretty much whenever I'm near an appropriate sink.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:02:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Handles must be an American thing. I know I've seen one a few times, but the overwhelming majority of toilets in Australia have a button of some description, usually either on top of the cistern or on the wall.
thefuzzylogic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. Here in the UK it's about 50/50 button or handle. Newer cisterns have the button.
We also don't have those useless paper ass gaskets they're so fond of in the States.
NatskuLovester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Finland its a button or a knob you pull up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't want to touch the button with your fingers, just use your tongue.
Spadeykins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Urinal: elbow, low toilet: foot. Simple.
kanjiklubbin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're disabled or 60+ you should easily be able to get your foot onto a urinal flush handle, they're only chest high...
deepintheupsidedown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:22:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... ONLY chest high? You think most people can easily lift their foot up to chest level, let alone early in the morning, or when they're tired or drunk or the floor is slippery??
And moreover you think that somebody would deliberately design a device you have to reach your foot up four feet to activate...
You are a crazy person.
kanjiklubbin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying everyone CAN, but that they SHOULD be able to. If you're reasonably able bodied, not terribly overweight, and have stretched once or twice in the last year or so then, yes, physically you should be capable of kicking at a urinal handle.
It doesn't have to be pretty, you don't have to get it on the first or even the fifth time, but you should be able to hit it.
deepintheupsidedown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have never worked in a bar. This would be a nightmarish thing to ask of the average bar-goer. Let alone on a busy night. And if you live in America, then you should know how absurd the demand that everybody be in shape and able-bodied is. Never gonna happen.
Also, how little do you value your time that you can stand at a urinal kicking at it for five minutes?
kanjiklubbin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I've done a lot dumber things for a lot longer than 5 minutes when I'm drunk.
deepintheupsidedown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:38:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I'd bet you still get sick as often as the rest of us.
MasterEmp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using your shoes makes them way dirtier than they were before. Thanks.
choomguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:55:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck do these people do at home?
Anyhow, if all humans performed this simple rask, our species would have a chance of surviving. That they dont, is complelling evidence that we are living through the 6th mass extinction.
Spadeykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only wash my hands after a poop, have only been sick once in five years. That said I have germ-x at my desk that I use before I touch my keyboard.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you.
Meanwhile the thousands of strangers you encounter on a daily basis have to touch every light switch and door after you. We may as well be rubbing our hands directly on your dick.
Not to mention that bacteria that you're carrying exist in your system but you've adapted to them. You could be spreading C. Diff, Noro, and E. Coli everywhere. Just because you're not getting sick doesn't mean other people aren't. Your behavior is disgusting and selfish and you should feel ashamed. Nobody should have to tell a grown adult to wash their hands after touching their genitals. That's common sense for anyone over the age of 3.
Spadeykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough, like I said I do use GermX before doing much else.
CritFailingLife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I usually use my foot to flush unless it's the button type that requires pushing. Levers are easy to use your foot on to avoid touching, though.
OrsonT90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is your crotch full of sweaty brine?
Mine is dry as the desert.
thefuzzylogic ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody sweats and sheds dead skin and oils. It's called "body soil".
OrsonT90 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just put talcum powder on in the morning? It prevents sticking and odor all while being crazy affordable and over the counter.
You could also add otc antiperspirant/deodorant if your crotch is such a biohazard you feel unsafe touching it.
thefuzzylogic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel unsafe touching mine, but I don't want to touch yours. Especially if you don't wash your hands before touching it.
OrsonT90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not making sense. Enjoy your life of easily dealt with "body soil", hope no one ever has to touch you down there either :P
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thefuzzylogic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's sterile when it comes out, but quickly breeds bacteria and fungus. (Which is why it smells.)
___JimmyRustler___ ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 01:33:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11/10 dick cleaner than faucet handle.
watergator ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:57:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's going on my tinder bio
StealsYourLaundry ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 02:01:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though use a paper towel to turn off the faucet and open the bathroom door. Boom, no surfaces touched after soaping and rinsing your hands.
Wash your God damn hands.
probablyhrenrai ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if there are no paper towels?
There is a grand total of three bathrooms on campus that I know of with paper towel dispensers, and toilet paper disintegrates when it gets wet.
Shtruntz ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:07:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand the logic. If you take a shit, yea wash your fucking hands. But a quick piss. I bathe every morning and depending on what happened throughout the day, frequently at night too. My dick is probably the cleanest part of my body. I'm not pissing on my hands. I'm touching nothing but the zip to my fly and the elastic to my waistband. Most of the tie I don't even need to touch my dick. I just let it rest on the band and the angle takes care of everything else.
JasonDJ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter. Your genital region is a damp, dark, moist just inches away from your filthy asshole. Plus every time you fart shit just gets sprayed all throughout the region to settle and breed on any and all surfaces, including your clothes.
You're disgusting.
rnrigfts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:18:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still. Your herpes probably crawls out of your dick and infests the surrounding general area. /s
Still gross tho, because it's not my dick.
no_talent_ass_clown ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:55:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And all the surfaces you touched on the way between your shower and your bathroom break?
somedude456 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. I trust my dick is cleaner than most door knobs I touch.
PM_ME_BIRDS_OF_PREY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the dick is the cleanest knob.
onlyforthisair ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:49:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What pisses me off is when they don't have a trash can next to the door.
contraigon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when there's a cover over the trash can so you can't throw the paper towel in from across the room and have to hold the door open with your foot while you stretch to reach it, looking like a freak the whole time.
rnrigfts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I throw the paper towel on the floor behind the door as my little act of rebellion. I don't like making the janitor's life harder, but eventually they have to get the idea.
dr1fter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:33:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, as someone who is admittedly willing to be a little gross, I'm still pretty sure tapping a knuckle on the faucet for a split second is better than not washing my hands at all. For that matter, when I say "at all," if I didn't habitually wash my hands when I used the bathroom, I'd go so long that they'd probably get just as dirty.
StealsYourLaundry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exactly. When else do you people wash your hands? Just as a side benefit of showering? Because before meals you still have to deal with that dirty faucet issue.
___JimmyRustler___ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make me!
StealsYourLaundry ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:08:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better watch your washer and dryer like a hawk next Sunday, buddy.
LordPadre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, I'm an Amish Nudist
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
exoxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Metric?
ihadanamebutforgot ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 03:13:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, fuck you weirdos that actually wash their hands. Touching a wet bathroom doorknob is just the worst.
StealsYourLaundry ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:14:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paper. Towel.
ihadanamebutforgot ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:18:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
thanks
tiorzol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grow
Up
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cleaner than the bathroom door knob, my belt, the urinal flushing handle, the faucet handle, the paper towel dispenser, the other side of the that door handle, my buddies hand who just came in late but fist bumped anyways because he cool, probably the surface of my cubicle if i haven't cleaned it in more than couple days, mouse, keyboard, headset...
littlegirlghostship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do men not flush with their feet????
nats15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use my foot to flush when ever it's possible.
somebodycallmymomma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:41:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disagree. Dicks and balls can get real sweaty during work.
Budge-O-Matic ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:29:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. And I use my own personal antibacterial hand cleanser after I leave the baรฑo.
thefuzzylogic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:47:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does nothing for viruses.
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the socially acceptable 20 seconds at the tap does /s
GorillaHeat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it does. your sarcasm has rendered me befuddled
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The CDC says you need to scrub your already completely soap lathered hands for at least 20 seconds and then rinse them properly. The whole process should take much longer than the 20 seconds people spend at the tap.
MostCredibleDude ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:13:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your statement sounds like any fraction of the CDC recommended time provides no benefit.
10GuyIsDrunk ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thefuzzylogic's comment made it sound like hand sanitizer provides no benefit. The truth is, properly washing your hands with soap and water is a fairly lengthy process compared to what most people do and what is socially acceptable. I would imagine, though I could very well be wrong, that the five or so seconds people spend scrubbing with soap is about on par with using hand sanitizer (also generally done improperly). If done properly, washing with soap is probably better.
GorillaHeat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and it still likely washes off most if not all. the CDC's reccomendations are for assurance and to get that extra percent or two. it doesnt make scrubbing your hands, for 13 seconds instead of 20, worthless.
Mysta02 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, most people wet their hands, soap, rub palms together for 3-5 seconds, then rinse, then turn off faucet, open door, and wipe hands on shirt or pants.
The average person's version of hand washing accomplishes close to nothing.
Budge-O-Matic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's if they even use soap. I'd say 90% run their hands under water and then dry them off.
And if they use a hand blower... well, I'll just leave these here:
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=hand+dryer+increase+bacteria&*
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hand dryers.
God they're so gross.
Hey, here's an idea, let's take all the shit, farts, and piss-splash in the air, suck them up with a giant motor, pass it over a luke-warm heater, and blow it onto your freshly-cleaned hands.
Some of them even suggest you turn the nozzle upwards to dry your face, if you're the type of person to wash their face in a public restroom.
How they are even legal boggles my mind.
thefuzzylogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well most people don't wash their hands properly either.
sabin4tw ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then I've always thought it was ultra stupid that bathroom doors are almost always push to enter, pull to leave. So I can come in by pushing anywhere on this door, even with my foot. But to leave I have to grab this greasy ass handle that's probably covered in shit and cock.
dickbutt4president ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:43:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wash my hands BEFORE I touch my dick!
DopePedaller ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:51:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try being a caregiver for the elderly. You'll never trust any surface, any object, anything. I just assume everything in the world had poop on it at some point.
Scarletfapper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:21:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Far better to force everyone else to touch the skin of your dixk for the rest of the day.
cant-sing_still-sing ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:37:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a way to get around that. Listen up young padawan and let me show you the way.
With your dirty hands that just touched your wee wee make sure there is a a ready to go paper towel, turn the knob if you must but for fucks sake don't touch it. Now wash your hands with warm water and sud up with soap.
Now here's where people fuck up and some might say it's wasteful but fuck those people. Grab your ready to-go paper towel and dry your hands before turning off the water.
Then use your paper towel to turn off the faucet/open the door and then shoot that motherfucker in the trash like mini Lebron James and BOOM clean hands and you haven't touched anything splayed with everyone wee wee or pootay.
Edit: department of health approved for all you savages.
dvaunr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bathrooms are actually pretty clean (unless we're talking a bar bathroom at 2am). They're cleaned much more regularly than many other areas.
Ezmar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I clean public bathrooms every day. I've wiped shit, piss, period blood, vomit, you name it. I'm beyond thinking any of it is gross.
Because you know what, by the time I'm done, that shit isn't gross anymore. It's clean as a fucking whistle.
Just don't eat off the floor because the disinfectant is pretty strong.
vonmonologue ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:23:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No shit sherlock. That's why after you wash your hands you use the paper towels to turn off the taps and open the door.
Do you know where your dick has been all day? 6" from your asshole. In a warm sweaty damp bacterial incubator known as your crotch. Full of hair and moist little nooks and crannies for microbial growth. All of it thriving on the microscopic poop particles being spread around your undercarriage as your boxers or briefs rub against your anus, taint, and sack.
But hey, champ, everyone else leaves their germs on the tap at the sink! You though? You're entitled to leave it on every door knob between the toilet and your work station! Now when someone else goes to the break room, they've got your germs on their hands from that door knob! Oh, now your coworker Mark has decided to emulate your system -- Every time you touch the break room fridge, microscopic traces of Mark's taint ecology get on your hands right as you're about to eat.
The phones? Oh my god the phones! Sally heard it's ok to not wash your hands now! She has a yeast infection, but she only touched the outside of her body so she didn't bother to wash -- after all, the skin of her labia are cleaner than the door handle that might have feces on it, right?? But she had to hurry up and make a phone call after getting off the can...
WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO CAUSE ECOLI OUTBREAKS. IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO WERE THE ONLY ONES WHO DIED FROM THEM I WOULDN'T GIVE A FUCK.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for truth but most E. coli outbreaks are caused from farm animal waste flooding into produce fields. Now, Norovirus and C. diff, on the other hand...
Or on both hands if you're Mark.
this-is-irrelephant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then maybe you should wash your hands before and after. Just in case.
SirDiego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Simple. Turn on faucet, wash hands with soap thorough scrub, take paper towel, dry hands, then use paper towel to turn off faucet, take it to door, open door with paper towel, throw away paper towel (hopefully there's a bin near the exit - most places do this now).
fuckwithmyduck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. No way in hell am I touching the door handle after washing my hands when there are dudes like him not washing.
bluecamel17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men's bathrooms are gross, I'll give you that, but it's mostly the floor, because apparently there is quite a bit of flailing while pissing. And you're tracking that everywhere. I always find it funny that people handle their shoes without a care for all the fun shit they've walked in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Men's bathrooms are infinitely cleaner than woman's from what I hear. I have a co worker that won't drink anything at work because she doesn't want to have to use the bathroom.
FANGO ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got it, not an adult
I_LICK_PUPPIES ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But like, touching the knobs and shit is before you wash your hands. Do you also not flush the toilet? Is it cleaner to later shake hands with someone after border line spanking the monkey tryna get that last drop? So many questions.
terpcloudsurfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HEYYOOOOOO!
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheap toilet paper is a good way to get in touch with your inner self.
clumsyc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I use hand sanitizer after leaving a bathroom. My office has dispensers everywhere and I carry some in my purse.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what paper towels are for.
SPVCEGXXN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use hand to turn on water and get soap. Wash hands. Dry hands. Use towel to turn off water. Use towel to grab door handle. Voila. No towels? Use your foot to turn off water. Don't dry
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always happy when the faucet works with sensors, don't have to touch anything. The door gets the foot.
roboninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, it is these people that are fearful of bathrooms that make them much worse.
GorillaHeat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i hope you always find a bathroom that you can get into without using your hands... otherwise everything you said is pointless.
I love them crooked corridor entrance bathrooms... you dont have to touch a damn thing to get in, flush with my foot like a monkey.
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, that way after touching their dick and not washing their hands, they can still proceed to touch everything else in a public setting that isn't a bathroom door. Like the door to the office, or squeeze all the produce in the store.
Rubes0202 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K but other people don't want to touch your dick on everything else you touched m8. And I love how you assume you're one of the rare ones that is 1) only peeing and 2) capable of not accidentally fingering their ass. (it's not actually that rare)
overide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude 95% of bathrooms these days have touch free activation for exactly this reason so your complaint isn't really holding water. Wash your fucking hands you dirty heathen.
mrrowr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And have you noticed how many copies of Akeelah and the Bee they have for sale at Starbucks?
I_Xertz_Tittynopes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this as "I touched the sink on my dick", and wondered what kind of savage you are.
fatnino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentaly"
tim1887 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accidental anal.
JamieHynemanAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You...
are making me question my beliefs
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He.
Is fucking disgusting. Just turn off the taps and open the door with a paper towel. Throw it out in the bin next to the door. If there's no bin next to the door throw it on the floor if you must.
ZenPeaceLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god keep preaching my brother!
wtffighter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school recently removed all paper towels and replaced them with dry blowers. There is already green residue at the bottom of all of them and dry blowers are pretty disguring even without that.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hand dryers.
God they're so gross.
Hey, here's an idea, let's take all the shit, farts, and piss-splash in the air, suck them up with a giant motor, pass it over a luke-warm heater, and blow it onto your freshly-cleaned hands.
Some of them even suggest you turn the nozzle upwards to dry your face, if you're the type of person to wash their face in a public restroom.
How they are even legal boggles my mind.
And then, to take the paper towels out so you can't even hygenically open the door, or have a cleaner option for drying off?
As if schools aren't a major breeding ground of disease already.
wtffighter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its fucking retarded and students have resorted to using toilet paper so they got rid of the bins
ktwoart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how do you actually get out of the bathroom if you're not touching the knob after fiddling with your knob?
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paper towel.
jabba_the_nut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?! Why don't more people get this? And paper towel for the door handle.
nimbleTrumpagator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh...yea, totally!
exgiexpcv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I wash and sanitize before and after! YOLO!!!
whitechristianjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I don't touch anything when I have to go pee. I don't even touch my dick! I use my feet to open, close/lock the door as well as flush the toilet. Elbow for toggling the faucet on and off. It's really a practice that everyone should perfect.
Ronnocerman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Washing your hands when you go to the bathroom is also meant to get all the viruses/bacteria you've accrued on them from snot, eye juice, blood, phlegm, etc. It isn't just about stuff in the bathroom.
whitechristianjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's what hand sanitizer is for!
Ronnocerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hand sanitizer isn't nearly as effective as soap and water and isn't effective at all for some viruses that soap takes out.
Source: https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/show-me-the-science-hand-sanitizer.html
whitechristianjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but muh immune system
Ronnocerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying you want more viruses/bacteria either because your immune system is good or because you want it to be good?
What about the people you interact with every day who might be immunocompromised?
whitechristianjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:16 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
> the people you interact with every day
Hah! Good one xD
kiltedkiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does that mean you also don't flush?
10GuyIsDrunk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:03:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of barbarian flushes with their hands?
Mysta02 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have exclusively foot-flushed outside of residences for 15+ years.
JdPat04 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm that way too, as long as I can get away without touching stuff in the bathroom I'm good.
I wash my hands before I use the restroom. My dick is clean.
vepadilla ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except that it accumulates bacteria over the course of the day including sweat. So it is not as clean as you make it sound. Also if everyone had that mindset for using the restroom; there would be typhoid and such. I also wouldnt shake hands with someone who touched their dick
*changed thsir to their
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure over time, though I'm not really sweating throughout the day as I'm not running laps, not exercising, and I'm not a heavy person. I'm 6'1 and weigh 120lbs. I still sweat but it takes a bit for me to sweat. Even when I shit, I use baby wipes to try to make it as clean as possible until I shower. Lastly is when I would sweat, the ball sack is more of what sweats, and I'm not fondling my balls.
And no I'm not making my Dick out to be the cleanest thing ever, but it's certainly the cleanest thing in the public restrooms, and most public places for most of the time.
AtticSquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Washing hands is good in general, but it might be less hygienic to wash them in a public restroom, as there could be fecal matter on handles, knobs, etc.
JdPat04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use paper towels or toilet paper to turn off the water if it's not auto. I push the door open with my feet. If my wife is with me and it's a pull door I'll have her open it with her feet. If she's not with me, I'll use TP or PT to open it. If non of those are available. If it's a place with other people in and out, I let them come in and I catch the door with feet. Last resort is I'll put my hand in my pocket, and open the door with my pants. I also try to carry a few napkins, tissues with me just in case.
AtticSquirrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing as that reaching up and grabbing TP exposes you to the risk of contacting more fecal matter. Carrying napkins with you seems to be a good tip though, thanks. You know about the parachute method right?
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had used that one before on the TP for splash effect. I had actually forgot about it too. Mainly because I only use the restroom at home for the large majority, and if it's in public, I will shower ASAP. I became a huge germaphobe. I've loosened up a bit when my son was born but still am very sensitive about that stuff. You're very welcome for the tip and thanks for reminding me about the splash. I can't stand it. I'll grab a baby wipe and clean it off ASAP.
usernamewizard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:04:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's awfully close to your butthole to be called "clean"
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my balls are the closest. My butthole is pretty damn clean considering I scrub it too, and don't go around shitting myself, or fingering my asshole or whatever weird shit y'all do.
I don't shit 10 times a day, and I use baby wipes when I do shit. I shower daily... So yeah my dick seems to be pretty fucking clean. It's a lot cleaner than anything in your workspace (most likely - if you work in offices or shit like that) and definitely anything in the public restroom.
usernamewizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but when you fart, warm turd particulates waft around in your underwear showering your junk in bacteria.
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:10 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wear underwear
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:34:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I wash my hands after shitting, my dick is clean I'm not washing my hands after taking a piss, hell sometimes I can just flop it out and piss without ever touching anything.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick is not clean. It's sitting in a dark, hairy, damp, creviced, warm environment inches away from your asshole. Which only gets passed over with a tissue when you get shit on it. Any other part of your body, if it got shit on it, you'd scrub with soap and water till it turned red.
Every bit of gas you pass is aerosolized shit redistributing over your entire region. You may not even feel a fart. Your asshole dilates multiple times throughout the day to pass tiny bits of gas that you won't even register as a fart.
You magically piss through your underwear, which is also sitting in that same environment?
You're fucking disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's so dirty how come nobody ever got sick from sucking it?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A million thanks for this comment. My body is way more hygienic than any part of a public male restroom. If the basins had foot pedals to turn the water on and off then I'd gladly wash my hands every time I used a public restroom. Unfortunately, men's toilets are either neglected or men in general are simply pigs because some toilets I've entered are truly disgusting and house way more germs than the skin on my dick. Besides, people should grow up a little. Germ phobia in general is pretty over the top in the western world.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:07:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick is not clean. It's sitting in a dark, hairy, damp, creviced, warm environment inches away from your asshole. Which only gets passed over with a tissue when you get shit on it. Any other part of your body, if it got shit on it, you'd scrub with soap and water till it turned red.
Every bit of gas you pass is aerosolized shit redistributing over your entire region. You may not even feel a fart. Your asshole dilates multiple times throughout the day to pass tiny bits of gas that you won't even register as a fart.
Most public restrooms have handfree/motion-detecting faucets nowadays. Those that don't you can always turn the water off and open the door with a paper towel.
"Germ phobia" is over the top, absolutely agreed. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't practice basic hygene like washing your hands after touching your dick or sneezing onto them. And it's because of assholes like you that germophobes even exist. If everyone consistently washed their hands after handling their dick/snot/blood, people wouldn't feel a need to sanitize after touching every doorknob your snotty dick fingers touched all day.
You're fucking disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're making a lot of assumptions. Maybe take it down a few notches and think twice before accusing someone of not having basic hygiene and calling them "fucking disgusting". Your hysterical response has kind of proved my point.
JasonDJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just said you don't wash your hands after you use a restroom. That's legit the most basic hygiene there is. It's the very first thing you learn how to do that applies to hygiene at all.
The only assumption I made is that you don't wash your asshole with soap and water till it's red, which is a pretty safe assumption for most people. The rest is biological truths. Are you saying you don't fart, or that your crotch isn't a warm dark environment perfect for facilitating bacterial growth?
hummahumma ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Didn't your parents teach you to wash your hands after you pee?"
"They taught me not to pee on my hands."
hisgrossness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
someday i intend to loiter in a stall in a department store or mall and wait for someone to blow by the sinks after availing the facilities, then I will follow them around the store with my jumbo roll of Mr Yuk stickers and mark everything they touch until either they notice and ask me or i get kicked out.
Pardoism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I must be doing something wrong. My dick never rubs against my asshole.
KyleGG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One flaw in your argument. That is that you don't have to touch your dick to take a piss. In fact, you don't have to touch any surface in the bathroom. The joy of having stand up urinals.
I still wash my hands for other reasons (Sanitizing my hands for things I touched before entering the bathroom), but do not think for a second that 'dick sweat' is a problem that can only be avoided by washing your hands.
formershitpeasant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at this guy over here with his giant dick that runs up against his asshole.
SexBobomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying not to wash your hands but i'm curious what kind of geometry makes your dick or even your sack touch your anus
intensely_human ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dick doesn't rub up against my asshole!
Gnostromo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of us can't touch our a-hole with our penis, and that's ok.
woob1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
congrats on the huge dick if it rubs up against your asshole all day lol
Fanzellino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/humblebrag much?
StabbyPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nope, my dick is cleaner than your keyboard.
puppetmaster2501 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if your dick is 100% clean, or if you somehow have a trick to not use your hands at all during your time in there, you should still wash your hands. Shit just builds up on them throughout the day, and rather than just showering once, washing your hands whenever you're in the bathroom is a good schedule to wash on.
BraveMoose ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently put up a passive-aggressive "wash your hands" note in my HOME bathroom, threatening to remove the door entirely. Aimed at my room mate. Because he doesn't shower or wash his hands and the doorknob was starting to get a texture from what I can only assume is dead skin off his hands and wang.
He's moving out on Saturday. Woo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't judge me. I have hand sanitizer in my backpack that I use instead.
seamlesstransition1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually wash my hands before going to the bathroom because why would I want to dirty up my dick.
theimmortalvirus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DirtyDickBAMSpek
stygyan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught not to piss on my hands.
You-Can-Quote-Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I audibly let tell the person "That's disgusting" and shame them.
Kumanji907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you had to edit that in there fucking amazes me
-obedear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Helicobacter pilori is my fear.
ArmyOfMemes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh look at mister big-cock over here. Not everyone's dick is long enough to reach their asshole, asshole.
Darth_Corleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's disgusting. Nevermind that you immediately go back to your desk with your filthy fucking keyboard and that petri dish you call a mouse.
But please, do continue your lecture on hygiene. I'm learning so much. . .
BKDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do people not wipe their desks?
Darth_Corleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to build and deliver hardware across a few corporate buildings.
No. They do not. Ever. . .
(Maybe 20% do in reality. Maybe)
MMButt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention the microscopic backsplash of piss from all the people who peed there before you in the past 10 minutes alone. Your hands are covered if you're holding yourself while peeing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gross is just a cultural concept.
CommitteeOfOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never claimed to be the most well-endowed guy on the planet, but I'm pretty sure that if your genitals are rubbing against your asshole, you're either built wrong or pleasin' the ladies.
jazzieberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you, I work at a hospital so hand hygiene is high priority, so it's rare that I see someone not wash their hands (usually a visitor, thankfully) but when I do I'm a bit grossed out.
trevorturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if I told you it's possible to pee without touching your dick?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BAMspek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a man. I didn't really mean that literally but it's definitely so close it might as well be touching. Germs spread. Wash your hands.
spluge96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, at once, wish that my genitals COULD rub up against my asshole, ever, and at the same time, glad that they don't. I expect I am not alone in that regard. Good day.
WritingPromptPenman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:02 on April 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, where do I get my long-enough-to-rub-against-my-ass dick at?
rat3an ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you wash your hands after you touch a keyboard or mouse? If germs = "gross", that's way more gross.
LieutenantSkeltal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually do wash my hands after a computer session. It's just basic hygiene.
SirDiego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I use someone else's computer/mouse, absolutely I wash my hands or use a hand wipe (after use, I do it discretely). And my keyboard and mouse I clean at least once a week.
tree103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes in my office we have sanitizer dotted around everywhere so if you have to use someone elses keyboard and mouse for what ever reason you can sanitize your hands before and after. Our office frequently has staff off for illness and this has helped reduce that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are under the mistaken belief that they're improving their immune system. They don't realize that the immune system issue is only with excessive use of antibacterial soaps - most soaps are not antibacterial, and even if you do wash with an antibacterial soap once or twice a day at work or whatever it won't hurt your immune system. But that doesn't make headlines.
lookatmeimwhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When was the last time you washed your belt buckle?
Think about it... every time you wash your hands you had to touch your belt/buckle first.
BKDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why I take a Wet One to clean it every weekday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't bother when there's no soap. Why wet your hands? Appearances? Maybe habit?
Meatpeanus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My slippery pannus is clean as a whistle.
schwifty9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Piss is sterile unless you have an STD or other illness... It's the shit that'll getcha.
geekygirl23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got a dirty dick or something?
varothen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You actually tell another adult that? Christ you sound sanctimonious.
christo334 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:10:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is nothing gross about that unless you got shit or piss all over your hands. My junk is way cleaner than most sink
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:42 on March 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
christo334 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:33:03 on March 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok piss beard
Xikky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why should I wash my hands if I didn't pee or touch anything gross with my hands
chadonsunday ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yknow I don't always wash my hands, but a very specific set of circumstances must occur before I will:
When I piss I don't touch my dick, I grab my waistband, pull it down, flop my junk onto my waistband, do my business, then pull my waistband up over it. So no dick touching was involved. Even if I did touch my dick, that shit is clean enough to eat with broccoli and cheese. I clean it thoroughly every morning in the shower. My rational being that its something I want girls to put in their mouth, so I damn well better keep it clean.
In that scenario, I didnt touch anything but my clothing. My hands didnt get any dirtier than they were before entering (and I sanitize them like every 30min), so why wash?
wrestlingrudy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't pee on my hands. Works well for me
ShitBoy_StinkerBomb ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I shouldn't have to tell you i don't give a shit
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BAMspek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not. It's dangerously close to your asshole.
JdPat04 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dick is still probably cleaner. If I haven't taken a shit, and shower regularly. Yeah easily, as long as I wash my hands before I piss. Otherwise they are just as dirty.
Think of everything you touch and everybody else who has touched it. What all have they touched, and what all has touched that? Who all has touched thei own genitals, ass, picked their noses, hands in mouth, touching their shoes and what they steeped in, their phones, door knobs, just ALLLLL KINDS OF GODDAMN NASTY SHIT!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JdPat04 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol at people down voting because of truth.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:22:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BAMspek ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that led to the plague so it's a little bit of a big deal.
tripwire7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:08:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The higher the population density, the higher the disease load on the population. Good hygiene decreases the amount of bacteria being passed around from person to person, bad hygiene increases it.
If it wasn't for modern medicine and sanitation, we'd all be dying in droves due to overpopulation and being packed together so tightly.
deepintheupsidedown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmmm.... The whole of humanity survived without soap... but I hope you aren't somehow under the mistaken impression that every person who ever lived then is still alive today??? PLENTY of people died. And many many many of them died from completely preventable diseases or things like dysentery or infections.
PatDude0000 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gross? Just strengthening the immune system. Lmk when you're ready to come up to varsity from JV
Wheatbread28 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wash before I go. I don't piss on my hands and have nothing to spread.
Except #2 then I wash
Hexxman007 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dont pee on your hands
Nimma_024 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People should stop bitchin about this. Dirty environments are good for your immune system. If you're a healthy person you're not gonna get extremely sick because of this.
dicks1jo ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:16:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't even "technically right." This is just straight up right. I work in a hospital, and if 50% of people worked like this kid does, it would literally save lives.
edit: to expand on this - MRSA, C. Diff, and other hospital acquired infections are a very serious thing. I have seen people go from a slip and fall to on a ventilator in a chemically induced coma because of shit that could have been prevented through patients, doctors, nurses, and most of all visitors just washing their fucking hands and not bringing in shit they could have left in their bloody cars. You don't need to be touching everything gods dammit! Use the fucking foam. It shouldn't take seeing an immunocompromised 90 year old stare into space with a tube sticking out of his skull full of fluid and bubbles relieving the intracranial pressure to get the point across...
I think I'll go drink myself to sleep now...
Kinolee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not good enough for C Diff, btw. You need to you soap, heat and friction to kill C Diff spores. In my hospital we put masking tape over the sanitizer dispensers on/by the rooms of C Diff patients so that they can't be used and to remind everyone to actually wash their hands.
Omegatron9 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:02:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, something that is straight up right is also technically right.
hubife13 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to be a dick but is integrity used? or is it displayed?
BoobieBoobieButtButt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. It's a dumb question
mattwuri ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:33:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poorly written question IMO. Would prefer something like: "describe an occasion where you demonstrated integrity."
dandynasty ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:56:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would've answered "2:30pm"
tigger0jk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Consider a time when you used integrity."
"Consider it considered."
actual_factual_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well Captain, remember the last time when the Romulans attacked, and our shield strength was down to 27%? And you asked me to reinforce structural integrity to the warp core? That was one time."
JimDixon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's also technically not wrong.
g0atmeal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:16:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone, please do this. Germs aren't imaginary.
bazilbt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:24:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually a great answer.
theknightmanager ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:33:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's the hero food service deserves
kickingpplisfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the hero it needs- the food service industry deserves no heroes.
Bad-Luck-Kyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid probably knows more about integrity than the people I work with.
SageRiBardan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too many men think that because they didn't wipe their ass they don't need to wash their hands. I kept a mental list of men at my office who I wouldn't shake hands with based on their bathroom behavior.
itmustbemitch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:48:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine said that when he was young, he gaslighted someone he knew by insisting that "morals" meant "testicles."
He would go up to adults in front of his friend and talk about how big his morals were and his friend would stare in disbelief at how he got away with it, how the adults weren't furious with him
MaleWithAPenis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:16:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wash my hands after I pee. What I do is I wash my cock in the morning then I'm good for the day. - Jimmy Carr
Macktologist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading a study in some magazine like Maxim or something else popular before online stuff, and it was set up to hide in bathroom stalls or be obviously present in the bathroom and record how many visitors washed their hands. I can't remember the exact numbers but the likelihood someone would leave without washing was like at least 50% if they thought they were alone (maybe higher). The kind of surprising thing was the visitors didn't differ that greatly between someone obviously present in the stall where they couldn't see the visitor and someone that could see their face. But both were very high. People are weird.
CJ22xxKinvara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saving for job interviews
t-berta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might have to start using this at job interviews.
Rain12913 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that question even supposed to mean? You can't use integrity...it's a personal attribute.
Madfield ยท 6308 points ยท Posted at 23:56:01 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but something my brother answered for homework.
My brother was in year 1, and his homework was to draw a balloon "blown up". He drew a picture with lots of squiggly shapes spread out across the paper. He took it as the balloon blown up, like a bomb, so he drew the leftovers of an exploded balloon. His teacher loved it and gave him full marks!
[deleted] ยท 2029 points ยท Posted at 01:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Competently drawing the leftovers of an exploded balloon sounds a lot more challenging than drawing a single circle and a rectangular basket connected by lines.
thezerbler ยท 1155 points ยท Posted at 01:36:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or, forget the basket because it just said balloon, not hot air balloon. Even easier.
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 01:57:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bad; great point. Thanks!
accidental_rebellion ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gracious, even when corrected? Who are you and why are you on reddit??
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:39:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate your comment and want to give a serious response. The notion that humanity has an inexplicable desire to ascertain and spread truth amazes and delights me. I feel a duty and thrill at being party to that noble project. As someone who has been accused of being overly negative, I must admit that I was amused to be complimented as gracious.
accidental_rebellion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, are a rare breed. Clearly you're reserving the non-negative side of your personality for the internet's hoi polloi, and for that we thank you.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:43:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, for that means a lot to me. I maintain my position that, as a whole, humanity yearns after truth.
accidental_rebellion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem at all. By no stretch of the imagination do I pretend to be an expert on this subject matter, but in my experience individuals yearn to discover what drives them; I'm not sure if that's the same as what you mean. Although that could just be a figment of the age group/personalities of the people I know.
ErisC ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:31:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmyes quite
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And oval.
Trinitykill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a cold air balloon, just draw a circle on the ground.
frolfinator ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:49:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Titties
KnifeKnut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found
the artist
Jessiray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you embed that image? I had no idea you could even do that on reddit.
KnifeKnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It only works on this sub ***[It only works on this sub](/yam)***
smart10334 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:42:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh, took me awhile before I figured out why you were going to draw a basket.
callm3fusion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about the balloon.. It's about sending a message.
Mariske ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, I want even thinking hot air balloon, just a regular balloon ๐
LostJellySandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like your response is perfect for this thread. You automatically assumed hot air balloon, I love it!
arthuraily ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:23:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a native English speaker and would definitely do the same thing ;_;
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 01:57:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a native English speaker, and I would have done the same.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same bro!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? Lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was more of an "I guess it checks out?"
PhoenixAgent003 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have unless the last question had asked me to draw a deflated balloon.
Tadferd ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a native English speaker it was my first thought as well until I remembered that blown up usually refers to a balloon inflated with air. English is really stupid sometimes. Blown up should really only have one meaning.
bombikid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a phrasal verb for you and it's the bane of my existence
NoNeedForAName ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:32:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was once instructed to draw a crushed soft drink can. He drew a scene where a Coke can was dumped by his girlfriend.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NoNeedForAName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really sure why you got downvoted so hard. I like the idea, and knowing my friend that might have been what he did. This was probably 15 years ago, so it's kind of hard to remember the details.
ProceedWithLaunch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:39:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 8th grade math teacher told us that once she asked the students to draw two intersecting planes. One of the students drew two airplanes colliding in the air
mydearwatson616 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:01:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why bother specifying? If you ask someone to draw a balloon, 99 times out of a hundred they're not going to draw a piece of floppy latex.
cindel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, wish I'd had that teacher.
I remember we were told to write a story about a city, so I wrote this rad horror story about a vampire city and how they have horror movies with normal people in them and I got zero marks and my asshole teacher wrote "What is this garbage? You were supposed to write about a city." GUESS WHAT LADY A VAMPIRE CITY IS STILL A CITY.
Same teacher who asked me why I was so bad at concentrating and when I told her I had ADHD she said "Don't you tell such lies! I've seen children with that, they go to special schools!". First time I ever cried at school because I'd never experienced telling the truth and having an adult call me a liar. Anyway, she was old so she's probably dead now.
(Don't ask me to explain why my parents hadn't informed my teacher of my ADHD. My other teachers had been aware of it before her.)
IHLewis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:50:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in pre-school (Christian school mind you), we were given a picture of flowers to color to take home to our parents.
I colored the whole picture black.
My mom shows up, the teacher pulls her aside to talk to her about it. They get me to ask me about it and I answered that the flowers were in the shade.
Xomnik ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it's funny when your brain thinks of something that is correct but not the initial answer people would think of. Then kinda maybe related but this https://www.propublica.org/images/ngen/gypsy_image_630/dancer.gif always seems to make the non outlined seem like it's going the last direction you believe it's going, although both are correct, it's pretty interesting, and kinda ties in with what people might see initially.
Penguin__Assault ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, American coming through, but when is year 1?
cryopnea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the Year in school after foundation/reception: for 5-6 year olds
okff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First grade. Year 2 would be the equivalent of second grade, and so on.
UrAGoodPerson ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:18:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao I am a 25 year old graduate student and I interpreted the directions the same exact way.
Turtledoll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really nice he wasn't punished by getting marked down for his creativity. Yay :)
MyLittleTarget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In her first art class, my Mother was asked to draw an egg and a rock in relationship to one another. She drew the egg cracked over the rock. Everyone else had drawn an egg and a rock next to each other. Her teacher didn't like her drawing at all. I plan to ask her to paint me a version of it for my kitchen.
TheyAreAllTakennn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly related story. When I was really young, I was sweeping the floor near a vent and my mom said not to sweep any dust into the vent or it would blow up.
I was too young to realize she meant the dust would literally blow in the up direction, but just old enough to wonder why on earth she would trust me with such a dangerous chore. I realized what she meant like two years later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing they weren't asked to dissect The Ant and the Grasshopper.
DotaAndKush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully it's not too late but this reminds me of a story from when I was a kid. Me and my family were out fishing on a lake when an inflatable boat got close to us. My little brother being 6 years old asked my dad what kind of boat is that. My dad not thinking much of it tells my brother "It's a blow up boat"(hopefully you guys get this but he meant it as in you air it up). My brother just gets quiet and my dad forgets about it. 10 minutes later the boat gets closer and my brother asks my dad if we can move away from it. My dad asks him why and my brother says because it's going to blow up. This same brother also once checked he had sexual intercourse in a 7th grade sex Ed class and him being in the middle of a "sex course" he checked yes. So the teacher called him up (I'm still not sure how this was okay) and kept asking him if it was true until the teacher finally realized what happened. My brother is really smart but damn sometimes things just don't click for him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read your explanation as to why it was wrong. Not sure if smart or just a dumbass
returnofnm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, in kindergarden my teacher asked "what blows up?" 5yo me responded with grenades and bombs (pre9-11) so she looked at me weird
-B0B- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they really marking hw in yr 1?
nmotsch789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:05:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays there's a chance that if a kid does that they'll get reported as some sort of potential terrorist
KifKef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't understand what he was doing wrong until the very end
__Amory__Blaine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually seems more accurate in my opinion. The term "blown up" seems to represent explosions more often than inflation, as it might in this sense.
Artificial_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have done the same, is the teacher wanted a balloon drawn, just tell them to draw a balloon. What are the odds of a student drawing a deflated balloon, unless requested?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol "year 1" "full marks" it's cute language
-Karakui ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a stupid easy year 1. When I was in year 1 we were doing maths!
Fudgeyreddit ยท 5567 points ยท Posted at 02:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a witness. In high school history class the teacher asked "What was the peace treaty that ended World War 2?" This was a trick question because there wasn't a single treaty that ended the war. This one kid blurted out "The Manhattan Project." The teacher laughed so hard he went and got the other history teacher and had the kid tell him the answer too.
arturo_lemus ยท 1781 points ยท Posted at 05:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of high school when i had this pretty attractive history teacher
She was talking about jewels or something at a museum and i blurted out, "Mrs.____, i can show you some real nice jewels."
And everyone bust out laughing and the teacher got very red and flustered/embarrassed and i look confused because i meant i would show her big diamonds and rubies like to jokingly woo her but the class and the teacher took it as i was referring to my genitals.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 563 points ยท Posted at 07:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story time
In high school, we had a history teacher that everyone insisted was perverted, but I never saw it, so I was all "you guys are crazy; he's fine." Being the immature sophomore that I was, I was part of the group of friends who would just poke each other in the side at inopportune times, you know, for the lulz or something.
A friend of mine, let's call her D, could not control her reactions to save her life. D I were sitting next to each other in the middle of the front row. I reach to poke D, who then let's out a short, but really high pitched "eep!"
In front of the class, teacher looks me dead in the eyes and says in a very loud and frustrated teacher voice "RelativelyObjective, stop fingering D."
For years I insisted that it was unfortunate word play, but then I finally concluded "hey, maybe he knew how that was going to be taken."
PureGold07 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 08:33:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You spelled your own name wrong.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 08:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I must now commit sudoku
Xenochrist999 ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 09:01:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're gonna commit to Sudoku at least pick an easier one, or else you'll hate yourself.
monkwren ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:09:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I eat hard seppuku for breakfast, motherfucker.
SirChedore ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
marry me im about to die from laughter
Silntdoogood ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher with the same reputation, same blissful situation. Somewhere along the line, someone asked one of the blissfully ignorant girls if she could touch her elbows behinds her back. Under the impression that this was a rare skill, she challenged some other people in his class the next day. He walks in to the class to see every underage Girl and some guys sticking out their chests. He had this "I am so getting fired" look on his face, and just walked back out for a while.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher who used to do this sort of thing. If a kid walked into his classroom halfway through a lesson he would shout 'can't you see I'm having a period?' We thought it was hilarious and spent years mocking him for what we thought were the completely unintentional double entendres peppered throughout his lessons.
The thing is, we were all listening to him carefully to pick out anything he might say that we could laugh about later. It's only recently I've realised that he was almost certainly doing it on purpose to make us pay attention.
masheduppotato ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time for me to dully glow in the bottom of an abyss.
When I was in sixth grade I had this very attractive math teacher. Problem was, I didn't see it. Even my mom and dad said to me after a parent teacher meeting, "I don't know how you get any work done".
This one kid and I were constantly competing to be the best at math and so to obstruct one another we would knock things off one another's desk in playful dickery. One day he flicked my pencil off the desk just as she was walking by, so being nice she bent down to pick up the pencil and I noticed that my shoe was untied...
So in my most playfully serious pubescent squeakified voice I said, "While you're down there..." and she turned super red and there was laughter and confusion and a bewildered little potato...
After class she pulled me aside and said, "I know you were trying to be funny but that was very inappropriate. Be careful of your choice of words".
And of course I had to pipe up with, "I just wanted you to tie my shoe since you were getting the pencil".
Years later it finally dawned on me what it was I said to that poor woman.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't think you were going to ask her to tie your shoe she thought you were going to do something dirty like.... forget to wear socks under your shoes. Scandalous~
masheduppotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I purposely don't wear socks with shoes. Lately it's been too cold to do that.
sealedinterface ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:55:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Pez dispenser stuff here.
ReltivlyObjectv ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't say I get the reference. Explain?~
yes_him ยท 651 points ยท Posted at 06:02:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I Don't know whether to clap or cry for you
arturo_lemus ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 06:13:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she smiled but probably thought i was a huge perve so its a win/lose
TheMentelgen ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 06:41:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you mean a win/win.
bakedrice ยท 258 points ยท Posted at 06:46:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you mean a Nguyen Nguyen.
Rabid_Tortoise ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 06:50:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2fast
AtticusRedd ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 07:05:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God fucking dammit
LHOOQatme ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:36:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Nguyรชn Nguyแป n
Sexy_Koala_Juice ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:24:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
por que no los dos?
Combine the two and crap for him.
OgreJehosephatt ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 06:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No! NO! Everybody stop laughing! That's not what I meant!"
arturo_lemus ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:25:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said that too but my frantic pleas of desperation were drowned out by the roars of sophomore laughter
CallOfCorgithulhu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guys please :( I meant show her my dick and balls!"
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 08:40:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MsSunhappy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so she can touch more?
someguyfromtheuk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you finally decided to post something?
bitcleargas ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:55:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aha, far less pleasant, but in Geography we had a teacher say "I'm going to show you a clip" and one of the trouble makers shouted out: "you're going to show us your what?!?!"
I did think it was a little overkill not to let him back into class again.
MrGlayden ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:01:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of the time in Year 5 when I had a quite attractive teacher.
Nothing interesting just she was quite fit
onodriments ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:26:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats alright man, one time I got detention in middle school because I was giving a presentation on the impressment of seamen during the American Revolution. I said seamen so many times and everybody was laughing super hard and I had no idea what they were laughing at but the teacher stopped my presentation and gave me detention.
Gray-and-old ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you actually have diamonds?
Rambles_Off_Topics ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:59:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History class, loved when we talked about "mandates". My friend and I were sitting there giggling and the teacher called out "Okay Rambles what's so damn funny!?" so I replied "Hey Mr. Miller, want to go on a man date?". The class started cracking up and he goes "okay, okay... that was a good one!" and continued on lol.
aliensporebomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is how he ended up married to his history teacher a few years later. They had two cute daughters, sapphire and amethyst.
gamesbeawesome ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 05:12:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy. Shit.
He is just a tad right.
Wookie_oo7 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:12:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it wasn't a treaty at all.
JoeDiesAtTheEnd ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was a treat to watch.
Corac42 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:43:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Burke?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
devictionne ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:41:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be new to the internet.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:46:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We welcome you with open arms of sarcasm.
AhiroSuzu ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 06:50:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, yeah you're right. Sorry for having dead parents and have that laughed at by a person who wants internet points. I mean seriously, what was I thinking. I'll delete my shit.
devictionne ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:51:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a grandparent die from cancer. I still laugh at cancer jokes.
I had an uncle die from a heart attack. I still laugh at heart attack jokes.
My dad currently has diabetes. I still laugh at diabetes jokes.
The key to life is "don't be a pussy"
Edit: I think he blocked me. My reply didn't go through.
The reply was "oh my bad, I didn't realize you were 80+ years old"
AhiroSuzu ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope man, I got your reply. Thank you. I hope you have a great day.
AhiroSuzu ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright cool man. You do you, but message me back when you get nuked and tell me a good joke. I'll laugh with you.
thrustingbanana ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It' amazing to realize that there are still people around who lost direct family (parents/ siblings) due to atomic bombs. It's a thought I've never actually contemplated before. p.s. I'm from Alabama and I honestly only know 1Japanese person personally.
Eriksandie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes! Sorry to hear. When people post anonymously, this is part of what comes with it.
billy_mays_cares ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:11:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i dont mean to seem like a retard but can someone explain plz?
Dmeff ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 07:32:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The manhattan project was the project that developed the atomic bomb, which conviced Japan to surrender. It ended the war, but it's obviously not a "peace treaty"
NioA_ ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:33:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World War I ended with the signing of the Treaty of Versailles. World War II, on the other hand, did not. Instead, the war ended when the Axis powers surrendered on VE Day (May 8th, 1945). This means that the question had no actual answer, as there was no treaty to end WWII.
The Manhattan Project was a project conducted by the USA during WWII. The project oversaw the development of weapons of mass destruction - nuclear bombs. The USA dropped two nuclear bombs on the cities of Nagasaki and Hiroshima during WWII, basically forcing Japan to surrender. The Nazis surrendered shortly after.
The funny thing is - the kid wasn't right, but he wasn't wrong either. Some may argue about the ethics behind dropping those two bombs, but many can come to the conclusion that this event marked the end of the war.
quineloe ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:32:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would have been very strange if the Treaty of Versailles had ended both The Great War and WWII.
roadkilled_skunk ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:39:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
War to end all wars for sure!
Penguinfilter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant, just brilliant.
roadkilled_skunk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I retarded or did Nazi Germany surrender FIRST while Japan only surrendered in August??
chop_chop_boom ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:02:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct. VE Day was only Victory in Europe. In the pacific theatre, the Japanese fought on until months later when 2 atomic bombs were dropped.
NioA_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:24:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Nazis did surrender first, as their "fall" happened in May.
I made a mistake in my post. Sorry.
chop_chop_boom ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VE Day was only victory in Europe. In the pacific theatre, Japan would surrender months later.
NioA_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:22:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, my mistake. Knew something was off when I wrote this.
chop_chop_boom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries!
furioustribble ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:55:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to be pedantic but the Nazi surrender of WWII was before the bombing of both Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
The Nazi's surrendered on May 7th 1945 and the bombings were Aug 6th and 9th respectively, but your point still stands.
Exxmorphing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:55:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you already know what the Manhattan project is:
"Peace Treaty" can be understood as a euphemism extremely disjointed with the actual, violently conclusive nature of the Manhattan project. The attempt to compare the two opposites at all is hilarious, especially how it could be a valid euphemism.
nniel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so im like you, but from what i gathered in the comments
its the hirashima and nagasaki bombs
BAI112 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 04:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This deserves so many upvotes
im_not_a_writer ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, this comment is gonna blow up.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 05:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mal-of-the-firefly ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:07:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke.jpg
im_not_a_writer ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This treaty was big in Japan.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:44:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hiroshima deserved more warning shots.
BlueDrache ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, we did drop leaflets on the city telling civilians to GTFO.
They didn't listen.
im_not_a_writer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:14:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, I mean it was just a Little Boy at the time.
Smgth ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 05:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the more brutal peace treaties...unless you count all the ones with Native Americans that we never had any intention of honoring....
panthera213 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:01:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a physics and chemistry teacher, I like this answer.
JaffasJeffs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:07:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/Fudgeyreddit Best answer u/arturo_lemus Best comment
hahahahahaha
TheAnswersAlwaysGuns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:28:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
USA USA USA USA USA USA
Magnificent_Z ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History major here. Fucking hilarious.
sledge115 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude - that's fucking awesome and hilarious.
_drumstic_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ted, get in here!"
SalamalaS ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me sad
quineloe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there was:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_on_the_Final_Settlement_with_Respect_to_Germany
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
speaking_of_nabokov ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong comment thread
CountMordrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though its a funny answer, its not true since the reason the Japanese surrendered was that Soviet declared war instead of assisting the Japanese with favourable peace negotiations...
not_a_moogle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
too bad this wasn't years ago, when you could have asked what's the manhattan project and gotten the answer: a TMNT game on the nintendo.
theGarrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen in a high school history class. One of my friends didn't really pay attention to the lectures and would just study the night before the tests to pass. So one day we have a pop quiz and one of the questions was "who was the first female Senator in the US?" Friend didn't know the answer so he wrote "who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen." A few days later we are taking the test for the unit and the teacher is grading those quizzes, about half way through the teacher starts laughing uncontrollably, he then tells everyone to stop and reads the answer out loud to the whole class. All the girls turned and glared at my friend simultaneously.
Ask_me_about_my_pug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH SAY CAN YOU SEE
doovie7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How's your pug doing?
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 06:05:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's kind of shitty of him.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:44:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school students are shitty.
Source: me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't mean teachers should laugh at them.
nmotsch789 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:08:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with dark humor
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1) that's not dark.
2) in a classroom when it's targeted at a student? There absolutely is something wrong with that.
Fudgeyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No like the kid said it to be funny he knew it was a trick question lol
nmotsch789 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is dark, and the teacher didn't say it to a kid, the kid said it to a teacher. Did you even read the thread?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you misunderstand what I am saying.
I don't care about what the kid said. I care about the teacher laughing at a student for being wrong.
NachoManSandyRavage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They arent laughing at the student for being wrong. The student obviously was joking and it was a funny joke.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's obvious that he was joking.
nmotsch789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldn't make sense in any other way
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How so? The kid could just have been wrong, like many other stories in this thread?
nmotsch789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how anyone could think the Manhattan Project was the name of a peace treaty. If they've heard the term, they know what it is.
Fudgeyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is obvious because I was there and I said he was XD
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to me, until now.
Fudgeyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I already told you that the kid was joking so...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now you did, yes. But not before.
Fudgeyreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I replied to you and said that 6 hours ago scroll up lol
shaaannon08 ยท 5154 points ยท Posted at 02:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching grade 5. Students were fooling around during group work so I said sarcastically, "Do I need to stand here and watch you do your work?" to which the student responded even more sarcastically, "Well you don't have to stand, you can grab the chair and sit."
RottenHeads ยท 500 points ยท Posted at 06:48:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember which grade it was, but probably second or third grade. Teacher was asking something relatively simple and no-one wanted to or knew the answer. "What's going on here? There should be hands up like trees in the forest!"
"Maybe this is a logging area" said the joker of our class.
jccreszMinecraft ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 07:21:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one is great but highly situational.
RottenHeads ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wont deny. I'm glad she spoke to us like that.
onodriments ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so much smarter than this kid, like who the fuck thinks people go logging for trees in places where all the trees are cut down?
Ghia_tf2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:01:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you in second or third grade?
StephenRodgers ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 05:01:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah... do you remember how long ago this was? Because I have like the exact same story from when I was in 5th grade.
Edit: Lmao at the people saying "now kith". According to these posts this would have been my teacher when I was a fifth grader... so thats... that's a no go.
chronus_ess ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 06:16:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we do it, Reddit?
RynoSauce ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 06:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
Elevated_Dongers ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:34:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I need to stand here and watch you kith?
AhiroSuzu ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 06:35:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you don't have stand, you can grab the chair and sit.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 06:43:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah... do you remember how long ago this was? Because I have like the exact same story from 10 seconds ago.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we do it reddit?
DidijustDidthat ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:54:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we do it reddit?
ProbablyNotCocaine ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did we do it reddIT?
EEEwqq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
fathom17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now kith
isyourlisteningbroke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Done we did it, Reddit?
Sandy_Emm ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 05:12:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why I could never teach elementary. Kids are too clever and I would drop the F-bomb too often for even my liking
GuitarHeroJohn ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 05:35:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at day camps and believe me, whenever kids do stuff like this it's reaaaally hard to not curse in frustration. I fix this problem by completely embarassing them in dodgeball or soccer afterwards. Little shit aint got nothing on me.
jesonnier ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last part reminds me of Louis CK's but on beating up toddlers.
GuitarHeroJohn ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 06:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'd never physically harm a child. Just make them look really bad if they're being smartasses. My favorite part about my job is teaching the bullies what their victims feel. I remember once this would laugh everytime another particular kid would make a mistake, and he'd tell everyone to join in on the laughter. Always the same victim, when asked why he just said "cause his clothes are dumb." I stood the bully in front of the whole group and just laughed. Everyone followed my lead and laughed at him, and then I told everyone to stop, asked bully how he felt, he said bad, so I told everyone I wasn't going to tolerate any more harassment in my group. The bully said sorry, became friends with the victim and they both ended up being my favorite kids in my group. These are the things that make me love my job.
Madking321 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:26:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love your job too.
c_more_glass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:15:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that's an awesome story. As a teacher though, I'd be terrified to try that because I'd probably have the bully's mom come to the school and complain that I embarrassed her son.
GuitarHeroJohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we can get away with some stuff because we're not there to "educate" them, just have fun. Obviously, like I said, I'd never go as far as insulting or harming a kid obviously, that'd just be plain stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TeaDrinkingBanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did charlie feel?
c_more_glass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher here, it's more like this scene from Rushmore.
BabyNinjaJesus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:23:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.....
Carry on
TheHappinessAssassin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the response was going to be " well we sit here and watch you do yours" or something.
InspiredBlue ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:33:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a natural smartass this made me laugh lol
lucidillusions ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:09:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every time someone says they can't stand something, i always suggest them to take a seat.
durgadas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of... a job description, isn't it?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest was supposed to be cleaning his room that's his only chore just keep his damn room clean. I told him I was tired of seeing his room like that "well then close the door." he was a very smartass 6 year old. Still is. He was asked on thanksgiving how to cook a turkey as a class project video- most kids' response was to put it in the oven or cover it in butter- what does my child say "you kill it first"
Siennasun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have easily said yes, if i had a question then id be able to ask right away and not be stuck!
Up_Past_Bedtime ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:15:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the teacher's pet
Utkar22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happens in our class in high school
mrobss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean 'ironically' ?
wittybit ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐
Mojons ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 11:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt
ricobirch ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. McCarthy-Smith?
jmgs000 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick lol
BillyMumfrey ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 04:05:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching kindergarteners about needs vs wants. And I showed pictures of things and we talked about why it was or wasn't. After a picture of a puppy came up, everyone but one kid said "want", so I asked him to explain his answer.
He just says "but what if you're blind?"
Good answer. You win.
CharlotteFields ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:24 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also companion animals for mentally ill people, I really want to get a dog or a rat as they might help with mental stability.
ruKITTENmerightMEOW ยท 639 points ยท Posted at 01:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once drew a wholly mammoth picture because I couldn't remember the name of it for a quiz question in science class. I got the point for it.
E: Nope I still apparently cannot spell Woolly.
rhowaldt ยท 806 points ยท Posted at 03:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than only half a mammoth.
rawbdor ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:32:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or a holey mammoth...
IamArtsen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:49:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing zombie mammoths here...
super_aardvark ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(from this thing)
Doghot69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than a halfy mammoth
Badvertisement ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
halfy
CaptainBatpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than this? http://mth.bz/mele/wcms.jpg
thatonerandomhuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have some imaginary gold, since I have none to give, nor do I know how to acquire gold.
Lethargic_Otter ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:04:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And still can't remember the name apparently.
Xenochrist999 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:05:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/whollymammothmemes
IcarusIsNotLonely ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:10:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit, i just realized i've been pronouncing 'wholly' wrong, i pronounce it as 'holy'...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's correct, op spelt wooly wrong.
IcarusIsNotLonely ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn... i feel stupid
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:20:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't, it's not wholly your fault.
AP246 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You still can't remember it by the looks of it.
jixeff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That moment when a reply gets more upvotes than the comment
benz0fury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
apparently you can't spell 'woolly' either.
ruKITTENmerightMEOW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck. ๐
BigxBossx77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you drew a really, really big picture...
Laniatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wooly shit. I can't believe that worked
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to a partially mammoth picture.
scotthferris ยท 18837 points ยท Posted at 02:12:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a special needs class for a year and there was the one kid with a textbook case of Asperger Syndrome. Very bright, very tough nut to crack.
I tried to tell him a corny joke once and he was not having it.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" "He likely had business over there or was compelled by force."
Well, ok.
Easily my favorite memory of that class.
Waryur ยท 8367 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is also autistic. Has led to similar "punchlines" to the classic corny jokes.
"Why don't people play poker in the jungle?" "Because the undiscovered tribes who inhabit the jungles have had no contact with Western culture, therefore they would never have heard of any game called "poker", let alone know how to play it."
Au_Struck_Geologist ยท 2437 points ยท Posted at 04:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Louis CK's daughter
pcyr9999 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 06:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She should be president of Tautology Club.
Stormcrownn ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 05:23:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Source @ 7 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtdHDmnIaCs&t=7m
[deleted] ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 05:54:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can add
&t=7mto your link to have it start on the 7 minute mark (just as a future tip :)You can add seconds by using
&t=7m10shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtdHDmnIaCs&t=7m
deepthinker420 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 05:55:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks google
TheBodaciousMelon ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:00:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks Obama
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:06:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank You Jesus
Amaedoux ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks KaletiFiu
...jackhole
reverendsteveii ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:53:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THANK YOU BASED GOD!
Idahurr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have always wanted to know how to do this. You just changed my life.
Dawidko1200 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:16:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're on PC you can also right click on the video and click "Copy video URL at current time".
WanderBun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:15:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mac too.
Stormcrownn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks.
Was a pain in the ass trying to find the source for this.
Sophira ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:26:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better still - use "#" instead of "&". For example, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtdHDmnIaCs#t=7m
This will work even for people like me who use YouTube Center to stop videos from autoplaying.
BlizzardFenrir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can also just... go to the right point in the video, right click and choose "copy link at current time"...
EatAtGrizzlebees ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:15:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not terribly relevant, but when my little sister was about 4 or 5, she was really into knock-knock jokes. The most infamous one she came up with, still talked about 20 years later, was: "Knock-knock!" "Who's there?" "Film." "Film who?" "Film with a coffee pot that didn't have any arms or legs!"
PrettyPeaceful ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:04:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol! I love this joke! It's adorable! Reminds me of that video with the kid that keeps telling bad jokes to his dad and inserting a cow into the punchlines.
OneRFeris ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:32:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it, and now I feel autistic.
Shanguerrilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it either... But the context was anti-joke, so I assume that's the point.
I did think Louis Ck's daughters was kind of funny though.
mrmindful ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:27:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, was literally just posting the gorilla joke when I caught your reply. The actress who plays his daughter in Louie nailed the delivery when they re-enacted it for the show.
benroachie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:15:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally thought the same thing. Love it.
HoboInASuit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:41:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally?... Literally!?!?
benroachie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:49:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Brian Regan's son.
"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead."
krat0s77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't know if I'm the only one or not but its kinda annoying that I can't tell if I need to read this kind of images like:
Or like:
...until I stare at them for a few seconds.
[deleted] ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 04:28:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid in my school told this joke:
Why was the pine tree on fire?
Because it was snowing outside.
He explained (because nobody got it) that it was a pine tree inside while it was snowing outside so it has to be a christmas tree with defective lights that caused it to catch on fire.
He was so proud of himself...
MetasequoiaLeaf ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 04:45:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't really work as a joke, but I could totally see using this as one of those logic puzzles. "It's snowing heavily somewhere north. Suddenly, a pine tree bursts into flames. Why?" That kind of thing.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 05:47:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But no, logic puzzles like that are absolutely stupid. Because the 'answer' is so stupidly specific, and it is not the only answer.
I could say "a car crashed into it and blew up" "it was struck by lightning in the storm" "a war has broken out and it was firebombed" or whatever other bullshit that's equal to "there was a shortage on the Christmas lights and the caught fire"
Amaedoux ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with this is that people love the overly specified answers, it gives them a sense of superiority, they get to tell you "wrong" when you don't give that 1 answer.
BernieEffingSanders ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:46:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong.
jotadeo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad.
sinkrate ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:48:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternative answers.
Woofiny ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best answer I've ever heard for a logic puzzle/riddle:
My girlfriend, two friends, and myself were in the car and we were shooting logic puzzles and riddles back and forth.
My girlfriend says, "You guys are going to think this one is stupid but here it is, 'What has 9 letters and starts with gas?'.
The rest of us start thinking, firing answers back at her about different engines and papers and all sorts of incorrect things. Finally, my friend came up with an answer so great I practically heard the light bulb turn on in his head, "The Holocaust?"
It's safe to say that none of us could stop laughing for awhile after that.
nmotsch789 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:54:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that the answer she was looking for?
Woofiny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:17:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Automobile apparently... less funny.
DescendantofDodos ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:29:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But..that word has ten letters.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:16:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you spell it with 9.
The_Enemys ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:29:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant XKCD
Woofiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I understood that one. Must be too late...
The_Enemys ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:37:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, talking about how making a logic puzzle that's easy to interpret ambiguously and choosing an obscure interpretation that no one will pick first is less a show of intellect and more being a bit of an ass.
Woofiny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was moreso trying to figure out what the third word was, haha.
The_Enemys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There isn't one (that's in common use): https://www.merriam-webster.com/help/faq-third-common-gry-word
UnholyAngel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:46:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are three words in:
What's the third [word]?
It's just being clever about making it hard to understand what the actual question is. It's asking for the third word in the phrase, not the third word that ends in "gry".
Woofiny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus that is stupid.
Darth_Corleone ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These stopped being funny a while ago. Just seems like a "Look how smart and edgy I am" love note from the author to himself now.
We get it. Those stick figures are smug and insufferable due to their over-inflated sense of their own intelligence. And one of them wears a stupid hat. WE GET IT.
MetasequoiaLeaf ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you're welcome to your opinion I guess, but you don't seem to understand how these kind of puzzles work. Generally, you're meant to ask questions about the situation until you are able to deduce the specific answer. Things like, "Is there any lightning in the storm?" ("No, just a lot of snow."), and, "Are there other pine trees nearby?" ("Not in the immediate area, no.").
The idea is that a creative line of questioning should eventually lead you to the answer.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:37:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a lot of them are super overly specific, and the person just uses it to have a power trip and will just say the answer when you get it wrong.
marpocky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the problem is this asshole you're hanging out with, not the puzzle itself.
aipom45 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:16:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One answer I hate to the logic questions is, "the diver was scooped up while swimming by a fire fighting helicopter and was dropped onto some trees that were on fire"
cadaeibfeceh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're fun if you're allowed to ask yes/no questions, though!
lol_and_behold ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:39:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All your windows are facing south. Outside you see a bear. What color is it?
abrasiveteapot ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Correct" answer is white (polar bear) because every direction is south at the North Pole. It's bollox though, you could just as easily have only windows on the south side of your cabin and it be a brown bear.
quantummidget ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:07:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live at the south pole, with all windows facing inwards, so the bear I see is a penguin-bear
abrasiveteapot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well reasoned Mr Dali
lol_and_behold ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:05:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have bested me again, Technically Correct Man!
Toc-H-Lamp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:49:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brown, but I do have an extraordinarily large house.
Jacob_Mango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well couldn't you answer that with its "a pine tree is burning in Australia"
MetasequoiaLeaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I addressed elsewhere, yes there are other possible answers; the point of a logic puzzle like this is to ask yes or no questions until you're able to deduce the correct answer in this situation.
Waryur ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:52:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god... Iโm autistic as well as my friend up there; though Iโm a lot better with humour and joke-writing (though my delivery is still pretty much abysmal) nowadays, my attempts at making jokes used to come out like this. I actually found one from a while back (wrote it in a document called โBest Quotes Waryurโ for all the โbrillianceโ that my broken-ass brain autisms out) just to give you an example of my โwitโ.
โwhy did the man not know their was a crazy dude outside his house?? because he was in the bathroom / (if you donโt get it , the BATHROOM has no WINDOWS so he couldnโt SEE CRAZY and now he is with no more life, very sad)โ -/u/Waryur, 2011
Verneff ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:18:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other side of things. "Why did the man not see there was a crazy dude outside his house?" "He was walking up to his house and people with mental conditions often do not realize it."
shnnrr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldnt it make more sense if it was being used in a fire place?
crozone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought he meant, but no...
Royal-Ninja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be the exact same kind of joke I would come up with from like 6 to 10.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just stupid, not absurd stupid, just regular old stupid. The snow didn't cause the tree to catch fire, there is no connection there.
lordnecro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the tree is in the fireplace to heat the house because it is snowing outside.
o11c ยท 215 points ยท Posted at 03:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am autistic, can confirm.
I actually do have enough understanding of humor to get most of the classic punchlines, but trying to keep a straight face is funnier.
spidey_bread ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, TIL I'm autistic...
Thanks, I guess?
loftizle ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is a spectrum so if you're pretty high functioning and an adult it probably won't affect you any more than it already has.
Wobbling ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:51:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of intelligent people will edge towards the outer portions of the spectrum.
fbholyclock ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This does not mean everyone on the edges has above average intelligence though.
FairyOfTheStars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:31 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's a circle so...
bogidyboy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:50:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people never get evaluated/diagnosed with Aspergers because it's commonly mistaken for just being weird.
IscoAlcaron ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:40:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i probably have it im a fucking retard
PublicToast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:05:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/me_irl
o11c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:01:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Autism spectra are completely orthogonal to mental intelligence/retardation spectrum.
(It is a form of social retardation though)
loftizle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, a lot of people don't consider it to be a real thing. I've learned to adapt pretty well.
Forest-G-Nome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This hurt my head.
Jalinja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:52:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He kept a straight face
--LOOKATME-- ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:52:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop taking those vaccinations and it'll clear up in a week or two.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see this post is controversial, must be Poe's law at work.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Join us over at /r/wallstreetbets then.
lettherebedwight ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:27:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That seems pretty not autistic, though I'm no expert.
TearShitDown ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 05:27:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Autism comes in many forms. Im not sure what aspect seems non autistic, the understanding jokes?
ShadowWriter ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother has pretty extreme Aspergers and he's the funniest guy I know.
lettherebedwight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was saying it sort of tongue in cheek, and I understand the concept of the autism spectrum. But if part of being autistic is not really understanding humor, and you're saying you use that to be humorous, it's kind of a funny juxtaposition. Particularly so if/when it's actually funny.
Edit: realized you're not the person I originally responded to. When I say you/you're I mean the other guy.
lepusfelix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:33:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a distinction needs to be made. Not understanding humour vs not understanding when other people are trying to be humorous.
I'm on the spectrum, so I feel compelled to use myself as an example. I often use puns and sarcasm. Not only do I understand the concepts of both, but I'm rather skilled at using them to maximum effect. However, one sarcastic comment from someone who isn't me can often leave me wondering what they meant by it. While most people would have instantly contextualised their comment with sarcasm and followed along on the leap from serious to non-serious, I am very unreliable at it. When I get it, I get it. When I don't, it can lead to some confusion.
Fortunately, I don't have to feel too alone with it... Usually when I deliver a joke, I find I'm not adequately displaying the social markers that inform others of my humour, so I can entertain myself for a while sometimes by putting some very silly ideas in people's heads and then stringing them along until they finally click on that I'm just joking.
The 'pro tip' section is that I'm nearly always joking on some level or another. I just don't handle it too well when people joke back and I'm not expecting it.
Chinch335 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure you're me.
o11c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you take this quiz, you'll note that there are several axes in the result. Some people are extreme on one axis but not another (this is partly social adaptation, not innate - I was exposed to a lot of sarcasm as a child, so I can read more humor than I otherwise would be).
Also, very few people store 0% or 100% on any axis.
lettherebedwight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh I noted below it was a tongue in cheek comment.
lol_and_behold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So why did the autistic kid keep a straight face?
lepusfelix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because having a wonky face would be more of a Downs thing
rasmus9311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to stay in character.
Puzzling998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have ASD. Everything makes me laugh. People feel the need to explain jokes to me when they find out
iAmAddicted2R_ddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have high functioning autism but I miss an obvious punchline often enough that most of my friends think I have the sense of humor of a brick. It's evolved to the point where they intentionally try and tell jokes I won't get because the reaction is funnier than the actual punchline
explosiverabbits ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 03:37:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I wanna know the original punchline
motsanciens ยท 297 points ยท Posted at 03:47:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too many cheetahs.
ranstopolis ยท 374 points ยท Posted at 04:08:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheetahs generally inhabit dry, open grasslands. (What use is their speed in the jungle?)
Should be "why don't people play poker in the Savannah."
Terrible joke. Does not withstand basic analysis.
MrChivalrious ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to be honest. Read improperly, this is facetious, read correctly, its funny as hell.
ranstopolis ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:21:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My jokes are only funny when misinterpreted.
spockspeare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have to explain it...
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:24:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't work, since people do play poker in Savannah.
Pm_me_cool_art ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in jungles.
clanger311 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This works incredibly well when read with Mordin Solus' voice.
SciFiXhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad someone else thought that, too.
Fuxit-readsmokesigns ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:37:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is such a spectrum response to a joke! I do this all the time. Break down why the joke isn't actually true or funny instead of just having a chuckle.
peazey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really spectrum though? To me it just sounds like the OP knows more about big cats than some of us do. I missed the correction too, but had I been more knowledgeable I might have scratched my head for a while before realizing the the humor was, presumably inadvertently, based off of a geographical misapprehension.
Plus all you have to do to fix it is swap out savannah for jungle. Seems lazy (unless they are also in the jungle enough and OP is a liar!).
ranstopolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Panthers.
"Why don't people in the jungle play poker?"
They get eaten by panthers.
peazey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, that works too...
Junglepuker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:05:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was spectrum.
Nothing246 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:24:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna hear one about a turtle climbing A FUCKING TREE?!?!?! TURTULE CLIMBING A FUCKING TREE!!! Wanna hear it? Usually use it on girls.
WasteTheTime ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:41:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna hear it
Gamer36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
thrustingbanana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the Lion "king of the jungle"? Pretty sure they also live on the Savannah. I expect I'm wrong just FYI.
italianshark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you autistic as well? /s
zanzebar ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:06:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mate, cheetahs don't live in the jungle.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ranstopolis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:24:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever Googled Serengeti?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:44:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RunnerFour ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Safe travels, friendo
Thrall_So_Hard ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, autistic punchline is better, even if it is an anti-joke.
SaltyJafar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually haven't heard this particular one before. Great for the arsenal of dad jokes one day ๐
colbystan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
get out
szpaceSZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheetahs inhabit open terrain, there are no cheetahs in the jungle. - - oh, that's the actual joke! Now I get it, Don't I? VERY meta!
dkgameplayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U a cheetahn?
C00lst3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he's lion
rotospoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am i a lion?
deceasedhusband ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savannah!
The740 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:12:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"...and then the second hobo said, 'No thanks, I just ate a bunch of hot buttered corn'!"
steemboat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend sounds like Data.
Spaceshipable ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:37:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it's not economically viable for a large scale pharmaceutical company to manufacture in an area of little or no population.
Also the parrots eat 'em all.
mechanicofmemes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother has autism (he's 9) his jokes makes no sense quite a bit but you can't help but laugh because of the stuff he comes up with. Kid could tell you more about sharks and space then probably anyone else in the world too
Waryur ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Iโve got the โtism myself lol, my friend just has it a bit harder with the literalisms, and your bro sounds cool.
Funny enough, when I was 9 (Iโm 18 now) I could tell you all there was to know aboutโdonโt judge, again, I was 9, and my brain is defective :Pโtoilets. European toilets, American toilets, the difference between them, how they worked, what the different types were called... school actually had to send a handler to stop me flushing the toilets 15 times every time I asked to go to the WC.
Nowadays Iโm into music, computer programming and language, so at least I look cultured for my first impressions. In all seriousness, I could tell you more than you really ever needed to know about most words in English. Call me the dictionary if youโd like.
Junglepuker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should start obsessing on how to get rich and then buy a lot of toilets. I'm partial to the German shit shelf myself.
OrganizedxxChaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sharks and space are my shit! But seriously, I would love to sit and talk with him for hours lol
MyNameIsZaxer2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:26:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anti-jokes done to death.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read that in Sheldons voice, followed by canned laughter. Ive never even seen a complete episode of big bang theory
buttaholic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the traditional PUNCHLINE? (Idk why autocorrect made that word all caps)
nermid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody downthread had it:
Too many cheetahs.
Waryur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5zezar/teachers_of_reddit_whats_the_funniest_answer/dey6p73/?context=3
Tim226 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess I'm autistic when I'm in a bad mood then.
ButtsexEurope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer would probably get a similar response from me. "Cheetahs don't live in the jungle. They live in the African savannah."
googus_foogus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual punchline just for anyone who was curious: "there are too many cheetahs."
Mckall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? What's the punchline man!?
Waryur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5zezar/teachers_of_reddit_whats_the_funniest_answer/dey6p73/?context=3
Mckall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:56 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's beautiful.
Peanutpeii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the ocean blue? Cuz fishes make bubble in it. They say: blue blue blue
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard this jungle joke before. Not sure if my ASD is to blame or not. What's the real punchline?
Waryur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โToo many cheetahsโ.
It doesnโt work well if you pronounce the R in cheater in your accent, though,
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh. I do enjoy a good pun.
WassonX81X ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like an answer that Jordan Schlansky would give on one of Conans remotes in the office lol
sodiumvapour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao. This sounds like something Drax would say.
Hortondamon22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing goes over his head.
spockspeare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His reflexes are too fast; he would catch it.
Garrod_Ran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Owned
OSUJillyBean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is your friend Spock?
Waryur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, as that would be impossible, seeing as Spock is a fictional character from the Star Trek universe.โ -Probably what he would say.
clevername71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On mobile so can't see other comments to you: what is the actual punchline?
msully38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only hear Spock when reading this.
R3divid3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eugene.
PhoenixDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually haven't seen this before, how does the rest of the joke go?
*Edit: this is the Reddit giraffe... He represents my common sense had I read further before asking questions. http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/9Tp/oqo/9Tpoqorbc.png
superjase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cheetahs don't live in the jungle
Waryur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, Iโm not the one who wrote it ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
SuperVancouverBC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is something a Vulcan would say
NotLordShaxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am owner of autism, love this sort of joke.
Saytahri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean you're autistic or you have autistic slaves?
NotLordShaxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Tsorovar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an idiot. Most, if not all, jungle-dwelling peoples have been discovered and have had some contact with Western civilisation. Nor are the only people in the jungle those from native tribes.
Goulart_gu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/antijokes
AmazingKitcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's friend anti-jokes.
ProjectKurtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call it antihumor. "so a horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him why the long face. Being a horse and incapable of speech, the horse does not respond."
"A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is slowly tearing his family apart."
"Two men walk into a bar. A third man goes to the stripjoint next door."
So on.
Waryur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I get antijokes and all, but this is the sort of thing he does to every joke. Usually it's also about the same 2 or 3 things as well.
ProjectKurtz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of get it. He probably just doesn't think those jokes are funny.
CapnBloetox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really curious to know what the real punchline is.
hotcaulk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Autist life right here. The rhetorical question that has gotten me the most times is "Who even invented pants, anyways?"
Yes, i get Sheldon Cooper comparisons a lot. No, I can't watch BBT because of it.
edit: to say I also suck and rule at Cards Against Humanity at the same time. I don't know how to make the funniest statement with my cards but my brain is good at forming the truest statement.
Memir0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/antijokes
Discoamazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something Dwight Schrute would say.
Club271 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahsย (Had to look it up)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... what should the punchline be?
maracusdesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-- Dwight Shrute.
Plasma_000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Autistic kids are masters of the antijoke
RAWR_time ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 05:31:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of something a co-worker of mine said a couple years ago. He is also on the autism spectrum, and says some pretty funny stuff sometimes, and was no stranger to making jokes that go nowhere.
"What did the chicken say to the conquistadors?"
"I don't know, Brian, what did he say?"
And then in a cartoonishly goofy manner, he would pinch his hands closed sort of like that Italian gesture, but with the arm positioning of an angry crab, and say:
"LOOKING FOR THESE, BOYYYSS?"
Absolutely no idea where he was getting these two halves of the joke, but the lack of context made the rest of us bust our guts laughing. Unfortunately, Brian was later fired for pointing a BB gun at a cub scout, and I haven't seen him since.
NaG_CSGO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:45:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit.
Brian done fucked up.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
RAWR_time ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(whistling) Weewoo, wewoo, wewoo we woo wewoo!
Flyawave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:54:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pls explain.
turnyourheadand ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:27:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Dwight Schrute answer.
ZiggoCiP ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just made me wonder; does Dwight have undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome?
turnyourheadand ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:19:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would explain so much!
Rychcor24 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:11:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend with Asperger's and he constantly draws comparisons between himself and Dwight! It's a running joke among us but it is an uncanny resemblance in personalities! We all believe Dwight could have had it.
CurrisCore ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, serious chicken is not to be trifled with.
Anonnymoose73 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:29:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was passing the last couple of minutes of class with some riddles once and had this exchange (the answer is footsteps): Me: The more you take, the more you leave behind Kid: Poops!
ikefalcon ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:35:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/antijokes
platinumsombro ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Solely to reinforce the dark double entendre of 'getting to the other side,' as once the chicken is struck by a motor vehicle, he will be on 'the other side."
jayen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind = Blown
Truthplease5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same!
stanier ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:12:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP: "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"
Kid: "Which side? Certainly not the mashed potatoes"
pletentious_asshore ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:32:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was this kid and tried to go the other way with it, in an attempt to make people like me, so I got up in front of my geometry class on the first day of school and told the following joke:
"Pi R squared, right?"
class nods yes
"Noooo. Pie are round. Cornbread are square!"
No one thought it was funny and I went back to being serious.
undeadpool007 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have laughed, dude
bgog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a movie with my son and a preview for "The Great Wall" came on. Its some horror flick about the great all of china. The narrator said in the that movie preview voice.. "They built a wall 1000 miles long..............but what where they trying to keep out."
Mon son say in his most 'Duh' voice: "The Mongols" Cracked me up.
katelyst ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:37:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work as an aide with kids with special needs and can say without a doubt that the students with autism are my favorite, often due to their very linear understanding of how stuff works.
Once during summer program, it started to get dark because there was a storm on the way (visible storm clouds, etc). One of my students noticed it was getting dark out and said, "Wow, the day is going by so fast! The days keep getting darker earlier and earlier. It must be because the Earth is spinning."
His science wouldn't have been too far off if we were heading into winter, but this was the middle of July, bless his little soul.
sum8fever ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:55:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair the summer summer solstice is in June so the daylight every day was going down.
Sombrere ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:52:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a kid with Aspergers in my class. He's a good kid, but I just can't stand listening to him.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:02:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be quite frank...Having Aspergers myself...I don't often like other people on the spectrum either.
noematus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep trying. They often have some great stuff to share.
Sombrere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has great stuff to share. But I have my little group of friends, and I'm with them all the time. And I just don't enjoy being around him. Not to say he's a bad person, of course.
untroubledbyaspark ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:34:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seven of Nine agrees, your attempt at humour is irrelevant.
I love the incisive answers to silly questions that autistic kids come up with. It seems strange in response to a chicken joke, but in so many real life situations it's an approach that can cut quickly to the heart of a problem.
ThatBelligerentSloth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:02:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this answer. "compelled by force" is ambiguous enough to communicate two meanings of the words. The chicken could be either/both compelled by an outside force physically such that the chicken is pushed or propelled and it could also be the chicken being coerced to cross by an authority. It's succinct.
Dontcockitupgriswold ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:52:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the idea of a chicken having business, and thus business associates to tend to.
"Now look here, see, I'm gonna need that corn distributed at 1, and no later, see"
Plays_On_TrainTracks ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:41:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sure the kids got asperges and isnt just like, German or something?
78523965412369874123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:01:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same difference
TheNewHumanism ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:14:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher here. I had a kid two years ago with Aspergers who excitedly told me that I was her second favorite teacher...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an interesting note: asperger's isn't in the DSM or psychiatrists' handbook anymore, it isn't recognized anymore. The more correct way now is to say he's 'on the autistic spectrum'.
Note: I'm honestly not trying to be condescending, and I tried my best to make it come across like that.
scotthferris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know. This was a few years ago. I'll be the first to admit I'm no longer up to date on the appropriate terminology. At the time we used the umbrella term "cognitive impairment" for the class members as a whole, can't remember the exact diagnoses for the individual students.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty recent change. The only reason I know about it, is because I think I might have some sort of high functioning autism, so I read about it a little.
TheReverandPlague ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:26:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. This right here. Straight up how Aspergers is. My 22 year old brother has Aspergers, and you can't vent to him without him turning into a member of the Criminal Minds BAU and trying to understand why you are still mad hours after the event occured.
Phantaeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I just realised I always do this too. More or less partly because I feel it helps people vent it out and partly because I am instinctively compelled to consume as much knowledge as possible.
SlaughterhouseIce9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"AM I BEING BIRDTAINED? AM I BEING BIRDTAINED? I DO NOT CREATE JOINDER! I AM AN EXPERT IN BIRD LAW!"
KaneMomona ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would rock any German comedy club.
NerdyGamerGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the third reply about Germans I've seen. Can someone explain this to me?
KaneMomona ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:48:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is solely from my experience from working with a few Germans and is in no way meant to be derogatory.
I had noticed that a significant portion of German short jokes follow one of two scenarios, a question with an extremely logic answer or a question with a completely unrelated answer. For example
Why did the chicken cross the road? 1. Because he desired to 2. Because carrots are green.
There were times at work it was hard to tell a joke from a valid question / answer. I did enjoy it once I got used to it. You would ask a quesrion about an instrument being calibrated and get a seemingly correct answer, then 30 second layer find the german cracking up, made for fun times. Plus my people were responsible for the goon show which was both true genius and frequently completely incomprehensible.
LordGhoul ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:23:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird because as a german I absolutely hate these jokes. The worst is when I ask anything that starts with "Why..." and they reply with "Because tree". Makes me want to punch them in the face. I don't have time for your shit jokes Michelle.
Flyawave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Germans have no sense of humour... is the joke.
badmother ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:49:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Germans don't have a word for "happy".
They use "Glucklich", but that word actually means 'lucky'
MostlyVacuum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....froh?
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
= pleased/glad
MostlyVacuum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the distinction between glad and happy?
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMHO, 'glad' simply infers wishes that nothing bad happens, or relief that nothing bad happened.
eg, "Glad tidings" (eg 'Frohe Weinacht/Geburtstag') or 'Glad that all worked out ok for you'
'happy' is a joyous emotion of elation.
MostlyVacuum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about Freude then? Beethoven even wrote a whole ode to that
badmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joy; Pleasure; Delight. Possibly happiness (at a stretch). Anyway, it's a noun, not an adjective.
Also, zufrieden = Pleased / Satisfied / Contented
nekoshey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:49:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure he wasn't just poking fun with you too? I have Aspergers as well, and I use bluntly serious statements like that with a completely straight face for humorous intent all the time... But many people misinterpret that and assume I'm actually being serious, which is why I'm left wondering if that was the case here as well.
Phantaeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya man, happens to me too.
azthal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many people with Asperger/autism do have problems with understanding jokes however. I'd assume that a special needs teacher would know roughly where a kid falls on the autism spectrum.
My sisters got Aspergers. If asked why the chicken crossed the road, she would most likely answer something similar, and be completely serious about it, and wonder why the hell I was asking such a stupid question.
jpkotor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:37:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems to be that by having the social comprehension to make those jokes and understand other people's possible interpretation of them they you probably don't have Asperger's. Maybe you're just awkward sometimes. I feel like a lot of awkward people somehow get the diagnosis of Asperger's; sometimes it's a self diagnosis and sometimes it's an over confident school counselor thinking they have the clinical acumen to make a diagnosis.
nekoshey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, I almost certainly have Aspergers (at least, as concluded by several highly paid psychologists I've had the annoyance of having to deal with throughout my youth for that very reason. Not salty, I just felt it was unnecessary to see one let alone many more). And don't get me wrong, there are times when what most would consider to be an obvious joke is so foreign to me, that it flies right over my head leaving me in a discombobulated shamble. But I'm not incapable of humor: in fact I relish the opportunity to make a joke any time I can.
So I feel odd when I see people think of Aspergers this way, as stoic beings based in a world utterly free from all forms of figurality, because it doesn't match up with what I personally know - granted every person is different, and I may just be an outlier here, but still.
What I will say though is that this did not come naturally to me. I've been rather lucky in the fact the I seem to be at least somewhat attractive (I swear I'm not a narcissist trying to toot my own horn here), so most people are willing to get to know me and ignore some of my more awkward interactions in favor of that. Sadly superficial, but it's allowed me to train myself socially and improve in areas I might be more inept in otherwise; even make a surprising(?) plethora of friends. Friends that I share humor with effortlessly all the time now. If I were to put a finger on how/if I could possibly be an oddity on this, that's where my best guess would lie.
Tuesdays_with_Shelob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:17:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fifth grade, being tested for what was then G/T (gifted and talented) and one of the other girls had this in a section on math:
Pound and Yard. What do they have in common?
Her answer: They are both places to keep your dog.
Correct answer was they are both forms of measurement, of course, but she actually got some brownie points out of it.
thealmightydes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find that hilarious, especially if it was delivered with an utterly straight face. Deadpan anti-jokes are the best.
My son's first "joke" when he was 4 was "What was the chicken doing in the middle of the ocean? ...Drowning." That kid's going places.
mintypresh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:01:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a comedy troupe called "Aspergers Are Us" which is composed of people with autism. Funny dudes. There's also a documentary about them on Netflix that showcases some of their sketches!
solarpwrflashlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Rick line from Rick and Morty
imverykind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is Negan.
tajdarameer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My younger brother once answer the test question: Q: where was prophet mohammed born? A: prophet mohammad was born in the following.
Later he showed the MCQ page in the book. And said see mohammad was born in the following.
Nackles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/antijokes
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Dwight Schrute has Aspergers.
zsnajorrah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did the chicken cross the road, though? I'm almost ashamed to admit that I don't know the joke. Please explain and let me be one of today's lucky 10,000.
jschubart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a valid an answer as the standard one considering it is an anti-joke.
Novve ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Business Chicken got stuff to do
asthingsgo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as a high functioning autistic person, i'm delighted that you think he's a nut to crack in the first place. what does it look like when you crack the nut? what is the goal?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the goal is to consume the nutritious interior. /s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am is are on mobile
Halluts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:19:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining Drax the destroyer saying this and it's awesome
gnflame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That answer is well put, actually
kap_fallback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damnnnnnnnnnnnn
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love his answer!
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/antijokes
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/antijokes would love him.
Chuck-eh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spock would be proud.
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we see the violence inherent in the system.
SKmaric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've definitely derailed conversations in my day doing this exact sort of thing.
KrazyKateLady420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Dwight Schrute!
Edit: someone beat me to it...
iBleedWhenIpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best joke ever. Sounds like a corny anti-joke, but is actually a dark suicide joke...
daydreams356 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew has Aspergers. He gives me the more dead unamused stare and the most matter of fact answers to any jokes I've told him and his sister. Maybe I'm just super unfunny.
CLearyMcCarthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have "yes, and..."ed him. "I was thinking the same thing, but who coerces chickens?" Act like youre uncovering some elaborate conspiracy together, idk.
TioBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend forever ruined that joke for me. She asked if I knew that it was a joke about suicide and how the chicken is walking into traffic to go to the "other side"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, but your kid is ACOUSTIC (autistic pun that is artistic)
JJRicks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seinfeldtransition.wav
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funnier than the joke lol
dianasaurusmex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is simply amazing. Very few things on Reddit make me chuckle as hard as this did!
Titan_Uranus__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend has a theory that the chicken joke is a very clever, morbid suicide joke.
"To get to the other side"
sujini2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Belongs in /r/antijokes
Pedro_a_Tiempo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit did you teach Jordan Schlansky?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find such jokes to be a bit trivial and I try to answer them logically as well... I don't like to self-diagnose too often but...
supreme-dirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
have autism, have answered many a question like this similarly
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am autistic, ruined a lot of jokes using logic. also a lot of fantasies and dreams.
timonsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I give answers like this. Hopefully I just over analyze things. :-/
rockoblocko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if you are into autistic humor, there's a Netflix documentary "aspergers are us", produced by the duplas bros and featuring an aspergers comedy troupe. It was really funny and touching.
projectisaac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something my friend (also diagnosed with Aspergers as a kid) would say. However, at this point he understands the joke and humor in general, so that answer would be said rather sarcastically and with a dry smile.
His sense of humor is like the perfect humidity: dry, but not desert dry.
Nabeshein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the most literally correct answer to this I've ever seen.
bradmajors69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Belly laugh here. Needed that. Thanks.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid is going places. Like /r/antijokes
aliensporebomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Compelled by Force would be the name of my "why did the chicken cross the road?" related power metal tribute band.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
scotthferris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no clue what the norm is for these situations.
At this school it was a case by case basis for who was placed in the class. He was also prone to pretty disruptive behavior. Not attention seeking or anything, just when he didn't want to do something or any sort of schedule changes happened, he let everyone know his displeasure. There was a plan to integrate him more and more into traditional classes as he got older.
(these were 3rd-5th graders placed together)
gamerpenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that is basically the punchline but rephrased. This joke is like the original anti-joke so that response is just as good
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wallstreetbets
bernzo2m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes tough "nut" to crack.
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get that.....maybe I have AS too
willowattack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lol'd pretty hard at that. Thanks for sharing aha.
lethrowz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:32:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..how is that funny?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:22:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
quadbaser ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He had special needs.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dakaggo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:33:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all cases are equal. I mean that applies to most conditions (cancer, heatstroke, mental illness, disabilities, pretty much anything).
quadbaser ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The special need could be completely unrelated to aspergers. Also, at my elementary school I remember kids being in "special needs" who had little more than dyslexia or speech issues (like a lisp).
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is honestly probably worse for them. It would be much harder for them to develop socially in that environment, they should just have the kid in the normal class and give him a little extra help if needed.
quadbaser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, that's how it was actually! They'd get pulled out of class a few times a week (maybe daily?).
azthal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aspergers has a huge spread in ability. From people whom have no real problems at all, to people whom have massive learning and social difficulties.
ReaderLearner ยท 10660 points ยท Posted at 21:31:22 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I work with kids.
Trying to delicately explain to a 3 year old why she should be kind to her mommy.
"You shouldn't say those mean things to mommy when she's sick. Who looks after you when you are sick, and makes you feel better?"
The doctor
"....... well fuck"
theconfuserx2 ยท 3806 points ยท Posted at 23:10:53 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you just swear in front of a 3 year old
ReaderLearner ยท 4382 points ยท Posted at 23:11:56 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She taught me how to swear.
theconfuserx2 ยท 2531 points ยท Posted at 23:14:25 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
............well fuck
PM_ME_YOUR_EGGROLL ยท 1693 points ยท Posted at 00:02:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you just swear in front of me
pure_race ยท 1597 points ยท Posted at 00:03:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You taught me how to swear.
PM_ME_YOUR_EGGROLL ยท 1544 points ยท Posted at 00:07:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
............well fuck
[deleted] ยท 522 points ยท Posted at 00:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you just swear in front of me
showmeurknuckleball ยท 793 points ยท Posted at 00:31:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vladimir Lenin and the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic taught me how to swear.
Bodacious_Potato ยท 899 points ยท Posted at 00:51:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..............well fuck, comrade
homiej420 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of putin?
Bodacious_Potato ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The secret police in the gulag taught me how to swear.
homiej420 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...........well fuck, comrade
Bodacious_Potato ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:09:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia, comrade fucks you.
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:56:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of Yakov Smirnoff?
MustardVine69 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:57:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bodacious_Potato taught me how to swear
xXKiller_SquidXx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:02:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...........Well Fuck
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of the secret police?
SpatiallyRendering ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:05:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She taught me how to swear.
MustardVine69 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:07:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well......fuck...
LucasAlario ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:17:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of your big fat momma?
CMDRtweak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Schneider from Dukes of Hazards fame taught me how to swear.
SamuelTheMuso ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:34:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well.......Gosh diddly darn...
Kvin18 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:54:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of my boner?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our lord and savior John Quinones taught me how to swear
MustardVine69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well......fuck...
xXTotalDoucheXx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:34:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of my waffle maker?
Nature17-NatureVerse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it from your mom...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:35:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThatguyfromMichigan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of my crusader?
MoonShinez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะฅะพัะพัะพ ะตะฑะฐัั, ัะพะฒะฐัะธั
DarkTempest42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... well fuck, komrade
FTFY
Michael70z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you, citizen of the soviet republic, just swear in front of me?
SomeoneTrading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะั ะพั ัะธัะตะปัะฝะพ ะฟัะพััะพ ะฑะปััั, ะบะฐะผัะฐะด.
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You you just swear in front Reddit.
TrueVerthandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cyka blyat
RPGeoffrey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See eez funny cause he potato.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 00:46:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
............well fuck
phantom1942 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะฅะพัะพัะพ ะตะฑะฐัั.
RealityIsFading ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated beautiful comment...
phantom1942 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danke.
alienpirate5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That translates to "to fuck well".
[deleted] ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 01:00:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia, swearing taught me how to you.
fireork12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beep boop
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Potato.
Thiago270398 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So...you gonna do me or what?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:50:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...... vell blyad, comrade
Legend_Raptor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seize the fucking means of production
LittleMusicMaker ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:46:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You taught me how to swear.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
............well fuck
Thetax128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of a comrade?
Yamese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He taught me how to swear
Thetax128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
........... well fuck the bourgeoisie
Whitecastle56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of me the czar
Thetax128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You taught me how to swear.
Hates_escalators ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it from watching you!
LegendOfPublo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:47:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You taught me to swear
Dodgiestyle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:15:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it from watching you!
sephstorm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:10:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd really like to see this pop up a week from now.
KmKiero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just swear in front of my chevy Silverado?
Rhllor_Lordoflight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:10:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.........we'll fuck*
lets_trade_pikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No?
themuffinmann82 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
piss up a rope fuckpig
snow_michael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, issue ... 3? of Viz?
themuffinmann82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well done you, think it was rude kid that said it. that was from the 80s
KamikazeRusher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least they didn't say "stupid"
MyCoolLewis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whale fuck
traffick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May as well commit.
Nightslash360 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:41:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well swear word.
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much. My sister n law runs an at home daycare and I help her with it. Everything from newborns to middle schoolers.
SurprisedPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooh! She said 'stupid!'"
theshiftyshitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You merely adopted the swear words.
zoidberg_42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:44:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swear word. That's so swear word!
halftone84 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fine when it's someone elses
ardenthusiast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kyle started it
sput117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SWEAR WORD
bjaydubya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not like he said stupid or something.
radicallyhip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We swear in front of the 4-year-old all the time. It's not exactly intentional, it just slips out. So we call them 'adult words' and say she can't use those words until she's an adult.
Pre-school and daycare are fucking it all up though: those are bad words, to them, and now it's getting frustrating. "You can't say that, radicallyhip! That's a bad word!"
SleeplessShitposter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't say the s-word it's okay.
MattTheProgrammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have kids do you
Cupcake-Warrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf!! That's shallow amd pedantic.
jericon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least they didn't call the kid stupid.
Russell_M_Jimmies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I learned it from watching you!
paradox037 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy made me do it.
neums08 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 01:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah but who pays for the doctor to make you feel better?"
"Daddy"
Shit
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:28:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Who brings you to the doctor?"
"Grandma"
Fuck
GayForGod ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:54:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go get mommy her fun juice
Agent641 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:10:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Uber."
Heyoceama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something Something meta
Girlinhat ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:37:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the American Dad thing where he's upset by lesbian parents.
"Who's gonna teach you how to play football?!"
"Uh, my football coach?"
ArrowRobber ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:15:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Doctor tucks you in at night?"
"The Doctor brings you hot soup?"
Kids arn't hard to outwit, just shift the vantage on what they're saying, they'll forget where their original point was. Then they'll start screaming.
stupidgerman ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 01:15:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I was in first grade and I swept all my goldfish crumbs off my desk onto the floor. My teacher asked if I did that at home and I said yeah. Still had to pick them all up.
minastirith1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The relevance of this story is so minimal and forced it's almost funny. Almost.
Baapkaabaap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are goldfish crumbs? I didn't know people ate goldfish.
DannyPrefect23 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might need to chill off on Doctor Who, because David Tennant and Matt Smith were the first things to jump into my mind when I read that.
vish_bavs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:25:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! And technically he takes care of our world and sues in so yeah
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHICH PLACE EMPLOYS KIDS?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:11:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who guilt trips a 3 year old lol
AltSpRkBunny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone trying to teach the kid empathy?
YoMeganRain_LetsBang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you work with kids, especially young ones like that, you're teaching them whether you want to see it or not. Just sayin'...
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:54:14 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still a funny story.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:17:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, yes, if we only allowed actual teachers to post, it would be 3 times shorter.
Also, imagine for a moment that the person changes their post to say this is a teacher-student situation (do they call them teachers when they teach at kindergarten level?). Does anything change about it? Do you read the interaction any different? Not really.
The gist of the question isn't necessarily about teachers per se. People in authority positions over kids may also fit the "bill".
hanzes ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:51:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Umbreon717 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:17:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this? How did you do it?
hanzes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this? How did you do it?
square bracket square bracket (/yam)
alex2000ish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this a thing?
Zooper_Cow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
woah
KnifeKnut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WTF!? This thing is going to be fun!
KnifeKnut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disappoint ONLY WORKS ON THIS SUB
danthemango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like potato
KnifeKnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but what kind?
ObitoHanShinobi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yam
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this sorcery???
IaniteThePirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
welcome to askreddit, we have some muffins and cupcakes on the table, and coffee. if you need to smoke go out the back. enjoy your stay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't feel like you are really appreciating the spirit of the question...
ReaderLearner ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:35 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Polly want a cracker?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
QUACK
randarrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who
RICOonDAYZin10FPS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the doctor.
Michael074 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
correct answer would be "and who pays for the doctor?"
ValKilmersLooks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The government using taxes from the population."
Michael074 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who do i have to pay 70 bucks to visit them then?
Plazmaz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor who?
MrMolester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which doctor?
firetruck_food ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:11 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you ask "what about when you leave the doctor's office?"
JoXand ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:05:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooohhh, he said 'stupid!'"
Just-Call-Me-J ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And suddenly we've gone meta again
electrifyyourlife ยท 2062 points ยท Posted at 01:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an EA, I gave a group of second graders a worksheet about main idea and detail. In the instructions, they were told to circle the main idea, and underline the details. One child returned the paper to me very promptly, having underlined the phrase "the main idea" and having circled "the details" in the instructions.
Edit: She knew exactly what she was doing when she turned it in...she's a clever one. She did just fine when I asked her to complete the assignment as expected.
[deleted] ยท 733 points ยท Posted at 01:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One job
ForVolvo ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the details were the main idea, and the main idea was a detail, namely, what the details were of.
MisterBroda ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:55:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
job done, gathered all my skills
2hoodrich4me ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And she did it well.
BeaumontTaz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two jobs
drs43821 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's two jobs
BluPengu42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She did the opposite. ๐
ComicGirl1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two jobs
Atimo3 ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 02:31:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a shitty company mate.
Ranklaykeny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:32:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beat me to it...
TaoTheCat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:01:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's not a very Origin-al joke.
Ranklaykeny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it is EAsy.
SkyKiwi ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
challenge everything
vwoom
weliveintheshade ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is an EA?
a_rain_name ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Education assistant. Usually helps special needs students.
skylarmt ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A video game company generally considered to be kinda shitty. Or what the other guy said.
a_rain_name ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was an EA, a mostly nonverbal kid and I were working on a coloring project. He would hand me crayons when the paper wrapper needed to be peeled back.
One time he handed me a white crayon. It didn't need the paper peeled back. It was just white and didn't show up on the paper.
bh2005 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite teachers had a story from when they were in school. He says the class was given an assignment paper with questions- test style. The instructions at the top of the test were to write your name and NOT answer any other questions. He says he was the only Student who got a 100 because he did exactly that.
The lesson was about carefully reading instructions
soullessroentgenium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use/mention distinction
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1st grade - got a paper after a MAJOR lecture on following directions, and reading ALL the directions first.
The top part had directions about a story we needed to write, how long it should be etc.... Then it said be sure to read the instructions at the bottom of the page. There at the bottom in tiny print it said "Put your pencil down and relax, don't do anything this page said to do. You'll get an A if there is no writing on your paper".
Of course I wrote my story THEN read that. SONOFA....
I spent the next 10+ years of school ALWAYS reading juuuuuust in case... but it never happened again... Damn tricksters...
Seventh_Planet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is an "EA"?
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did that in high school, sorta. We had to circle the grammar mistake. I circled the whole page.
ThermalConvection ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she flipped it
Rav99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:40:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A /r/firstworldconformists in the making.
Edit. This wasn't an insult. It's a funny sub about taking confusing or vaguely worded signs at their literal meaning. Which is what the kid did here.
DrQuint ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She still performed one of the oldest jokes in the book expecting no trouble. Not that smart.
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:37:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
smart ass
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She got them mixed up lmfao
BroccoliHotdish ยท 2312 points ยท Posted at 01:27:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "The quiz tomorrow will be on..." Student: "Paper!"
Everyone laughed and I rephrased the question.
[deleted] ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 01:29:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's better than stone tablets, eucalyptus leaves and blood ink.
Abefroman12 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:07:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I must not tell lies.
mlkelty ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give DeVos time.
Dexaan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down, Satan
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dolores*
I get them confused sometimes too
fewwordswizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be reindeer blood.
Regards, Santa
LordScolipede ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, personally never had a test on blood ink. In it, yeah, once (teacher was a crazy guy. Stanism or something, idk), but never on it.
Dexaan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:39:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAIL STAN!
LordScolipede ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:03:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... You know what, Ill keep the typo for once.
HEIL STAN
KaineOrAmarov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paper just takes the fun out of it, though
drs43821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But not as good as electronic tablets
InsaneDane ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:16:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Just for that, your test is going to printed on lunch meat."
ArrowRobber ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The quiz tomorrow will comprise of..." > "Questions!"
"The quiz tomorrow will be asking questions about..." > "What we've learnt!"
"Manners will be the subject I will test you on tomorrow, in the form of a quiz."
YakobMakel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume it went like
You: "The quiz tomorrow will cover..." Student: "Our desks!"
Agent101606 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have made the bonus question: what is the amount of space between lines on college rule paper.
Barleyeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a high school student currently this answer seems legitimate. Most quizzes are on the computer nowadays and when we get a paper quiz most kids flip out because they can't cheat lol.
timothytamtam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student studying Paper Science, this is doubly correct.
fantajizan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... I'll be honest as a student it's a long time since I've had a test handed on paper. So this seems like an important point to clarify.
FunGoblins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The quiz tomorrow will be about..."
"Answearing questions!"
BluMahlebawx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could use that, damn Chromebooks
BigScaryLizard ยท 1617 points ยท Posted at 23:05:23 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine couldn't remember what country wasn't a part of the UK on a test so she put Mexico.
Cheatcodek ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 00:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea I forgot about that! I remember when the great Mexican nation joined the UK in 1500 under the great reign of Suleiman I.
Camel_Knight ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:50:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, how old are you?
Venator77 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 01:59:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this guy has been playing too much Civ.
Cheatcodek ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 02:19:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eu4 actually, that and watching extra history.
Bowbreaker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that was from extra history?
Stitchthealchemist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:10:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but that's where they got Suleiman 1 from off the top of their head
70astralaxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's EU4?
Multitalented_ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:03:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Europa Universalis 4. A very in depth and complex game that involves ruling over and managing a nation of your choice and their relationships with other nations.
Yes you should try it and yes you can take over the world.
70astralaxe ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:14:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY CRAP THAT SOUNDS BLOODY EPIC
ZorackSF ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:20:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is your conscience speaking. Do it, do it, do it.
70astralaxe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:40:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know my destiny now. I know my purpose. I shall become the ruler of Iceland and take over the world, and thus vikings shall roam the lands of men.
ZorackSF ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you play CK2, the previous title in the paradox grand strategy series, you can rule iceland as a norse pagan and go on raids to steal the wealth of the christians and that's when your viking card is seriously stamped!
JohnFGalt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:20:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, you're not a true Viking until you sacrifice the Pope to Odin.
jb32647 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And after that sweep the world up in the great red tide with their other game Hearts of Iron 4 (HOI3 is also good)
BladeRuner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try crusader kings 2 if you want Vikings. It's a similar game by the same people in the same engine except it's set earlier (760-1420ish i think, with all the current dlc), and it's more focused on the personal, you play as characters instead of nations. You still get to take over the world
70astralaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOICE
notbobby125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is mostly managing your economy and international relationships with you.
PotentBeverage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take over, or have a subject own the entire world as Ryukyu
moloizer ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 02:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every other country in the world.
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:16:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, not quite. Wales and Scotland are countries but they're also part of the country that is the UK.
It's complicated.
Trippyy_420 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 05:14:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As well as northern ireland. I think the correct answer is "the republic of ireland" as it shares the british isles with the uk but isnt part of it. Idk weird question
workaccount789456123 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:04:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe "What country is not part of Great Britain, but is part of the UK?" Would be Northern Ireland.
Queen_Jezza ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 13:23:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NI is not part of Great Britain. GB is England, Scotland, and Wales. That's why the full name for the UK is "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland".
BiDo_Boss ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 13:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are aware that's what the comment you responded to said, right?
Queen_Jezza ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
derp
Pornthrowaway78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:49:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically NI isn't a country.
super_aardvark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:53:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it?
Sparko_Marco ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:46:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's complicated.
Northern Ireland has no history of being an independent country and is often classed as a province of the United Kingdom.
It was part of Ireland but split into Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland by the British Parliament.
Ireland became a free state but most of the Northern Ireland population wanted to stay within the UK so it was split in two.
So technically it's not a country although often it is referred as a country.
Malawi_no ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:48:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stolen property.
Grey-eyedFenris ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kind of but not really state of aging IRA and drinking problems, the unofficial UK stance is if Ireland Wales and Scotland could detach from England and float off we'd happily torpedo them.
BladeRuner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever been to Northern Ireland?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:17:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And England.
G_Morgan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:10:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Country is a pretty vague term. The UK is a state. England, Scotland and Wales are 'countries' within said state. Northern Ireland is... I don't want to go there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, stop arguing and watch this video
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 03:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
None of those countries were ever part of the United Kingdom. They were part of the British Empire and were colonies of the United Kingdom, not components of the UK itself.
Even today, the UK has colonies (Gibraltar, Pitcairn, etc) that are not technically part of the UK.
TheBritishOracle ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:44:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few things confused here.
In 1707 the Kingdoms of England (of which Wales was legally a part of) and Scotland passed the Acts of Union and formed the Kingdom of Great Britain.
In 1801 the United Kingdom came into being when another Act of Union was passed between the Kingdom of Great Britain and the Kingdom of Ireland. The full title was then the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.
In 1921 after a three year war of independence a treaty was signed to establish the Irish Free State, comprising 26 of the 32 counties of Ireland. The remaining 6 counties became Northern Ireland and remained part of the UK.
The Irish Free state became a Dominion of the British Empire similar in nature to Canada and Australia - this lasted until 1937 at which point a new constitution was established that declared that the state was now called Ireland or Eire in the Irish language. A position of President of Ireland was established to replace the King of England as head of state.
Whilst already being the case in all but name, Ireland declared itself a republic in 1948.
Which brings us to the now. The sovereign state is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, consisting of the countries of England, Scotland and Wales and the province of Northern Ireland. Each apart from England have their own version of self government.
There are a number of other entities that consider the Sovereign of England as their head of state.
The Crown Dependencies consists of Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man.
The British Overseas Territories are generally all the distant islands and outposts, including Gibraltar, the Falkland Islands, etc.
All of these places are generally self governed with the UK being responsible for foreign affairs, defence and technically responsible for ensuring good governance. However, a number of which have threatened to declare full independence if we scold them too much over their awful tax avoidance and money laundering problems.
The last places that consider the British Crown as head of state are a few countries that are completely independent, such as Canada and Australia. The British Sovereign still holds some very minor symbolic or ceremonial position and the UK has no input in how those countries are run.
Iamkittyhearmemeow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:53:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/unexpectedhistorylesson
--LOOKATME-- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Pitcairn a colony of the UK? I thought with the whole mutiny thing they'd be relatively independent especially since they're in the middle of nowhere.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:51:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ThoreauWeighCount ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to really be pedantic, the sun definitely sets in London every day. Therefore, the sun definitely sets on the British Empire -- unless, as you point out, the British Empire doesn't exist, in which case it would obviously be impossible for the sun to set on it.
pascalbrax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's get more pedantic. When you say London, you mean modern day London, or the actual City of London?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:46 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please enjoy my upvote for your sterling service to pedantryception!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:27:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ErrandlessUnheralded ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:54:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People from those countries are concerned with it.
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are independent states, so I'm curious what 4 you aren't counting.
BigScaryLizard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
American education at its finest some 11 years ago.
Loopy_doop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:05:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well to be fair, in Northern Ireland we sometimes refer to the Republic as 'Mexico'.
LightChaos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:41:48 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean the UN?
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 23:53:12 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO THEY MEANT THE UK
WE OWN ALMOST EVERYTHING
LightChaos ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 00:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The US says "hi"
Arnold_Mal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:03:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texas says "howdy"
Stitchthealchemist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nevada says come and visit
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:58:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mute kid says
PM_ME_DANK_MEMESS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weeaboo says konnichiwa UK~Sama!
StayPuffGoomba ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:44:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: how do I hashtag?
Thyx ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:56:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here, take mine #
kingjoey52a ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
\ then #
StayPuffGoomba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
#thankyou
kingjoey52a ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOUREWELCOME!
StayPuffGoomba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, my post was in bold? Dammit, I fail at formatting on the phone. I wanted it to be a quote...
8ioHazardous ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:20:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it is a quote, just a very bold one
snow_michael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He he he
Glad you remembered to put the 'almost'
The others don't know ...
Englishly ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 23:54:52 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the right answer was Ireland?
ServalSpots ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:37:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my guess, and that we are just missing the context that makes it the obvious/correct answer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the question was supposed to be, Which country is NO LONGER part of the United Kingdom? Answer would be Republic of Ireland since Ireland is actually an island in the British isles not a country.
macc2222 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ireland is the name of the state in English. See Article 4 of the Irish Constitution
Garfong ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:03:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe Northern Ireland if the question was actually "What country isn't part of Great Britain?"
Englishly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost contradicted you then realized it was a tricky question, UK of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Though I never think of the regions of UK as "countries" Wales, Scotland and England are government areas like states or provinces.
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they aren't equals. Wales isn't equivalent to England, it's equivalent to Southwest England.
The UK is a country, but England Scotland Wales and NI are also countries.
Englishly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mind is having trouble understanding the distinction. Would it be like how in the US certain states have less "impact" because of fewer seats in the House? Or less economic impact? Or are Welsh people and Wales a subsect of England? But Scotland and NI were separate areas pulled into the kingdom? I am going to have to dive into this and see if I can understand what you mean, especially given the use of "country" as opposed to state, states make more sense to me (not in the US sense but the political science sense of the word, whereas countries tend to have a more muddled ethnic meaning, and nation-state being the new identity of previous areas into a political body. Maybe I am thinking to hard.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:12:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jccreszMinecraft ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy mother of history comment
Englishly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes that was perfectly clear. I didn't realize Wales and England went through such a long period of being politically the same, my assumption is probably the right word, was that Wales was more similar to Scotland and Northern Ireland was the piece of Ireland the Brits refused to release to Ireland when they became independent, presumably because of resources or too many settlers that considered themselves English/British or the whole religious division. Either way my main thinking is always along political rather than ethnic lines and I, again assumed, the regions were more of a province/state than separate "country," though United "Kingdom" does I guess connote differing countries. Thanks for the thorough explanation.... now do 19th century India.... just kidding it was corporate owned state, right?
snow_michael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the isty bitsy little role that Scottish bankruptcy played in that
We bailed them out* and the price for that was the Act of Union
Other than that, a masterful summing up, and nicely written too
*and look, a mere 300 years later we did it again. Ungrateful shits
Xenomemphate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lets not get into that, we don't know what is coming in the near future, you could be utterly wrong on that front.
snow_michael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True
Now, what's 45% of "ungrateful shits" Ah - "-n-r-t-f-l -h-t-" :)
(Actually, at first there I thought you meant we are going to have to do it again in 2307...)
Xenomemphate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I was getting at but whatever.
Lady_of_Lomond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is very beautifully done, but I would argue that NI is not seen as a country - it's referred to as a Province. There isn't an 'independence for Northern Ireland' movement of any kind that I've ever heard of. Generally, people in Northern Ireland want either to remain part of the UK (Unionists) or be re-joined to the Irish Republic, making a united Ireland or all-Ireland (Republicans).
FinnAhern ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:25:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiochfaidh รกr lรก
Lady_of_Lomond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiocfaidh รกr lรก?
Yes, I hope so.
rmachenw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds as though they commenter was suggesting Wales as a sub-region of England, but Wales is its own country within the U.K. Southwest England is distinct from Wales and is part of England.
One difference for Wales was that it was conquered earlier, in the 13th century.
BigScaryLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I don't.
notbobby125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is only one nation that is recognized as a nation by everyone, but not a member of the UN is the Papal State.
-Karakui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, most countries aren't part of the UK and that was a shit test.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a horrible question. Was it looking for Scandinavia?
BigScaryLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was probably looking for Ireland....or any country not England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
diligence_is_key ยท 9556 points ยท Posted at 00:01:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in Japan.
When teaching my students, I asked "What do we say when someone is being too loud?"
One smartass says "Shut up forever!" (More like, 'for-EHbah').
I had never said this. No clue where he learned it either. I nearly lost my shit, but he wasn't wrong.
The correct answer is "Be quiet, please," which I told him was more polite. He just grinned as if he knew, but didn't care. Smart kid. I'll miss him when I change jobs.
flying_cheesecake ยท 1509 points ยท Posted at 01:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i get this pretty often from my students! my favourite is when i say "please be quiet" to new students and they ask their friends what i said...usually someone will come back with "shut up"
IthacanPenny ยท 584 points ยท Posted at 03:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar situation. When someone offers a woefully wrong answer, I usually respond with "That's a good thought, but..." Once a kid asked what I meant, and another responded with "it means your answer was stupid!"
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 04:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness, I could not be a teacher and hold a straight face.
IthacanPenny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:58:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The struggle is real.
Lazy-Person ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:40:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher/student unrelated, but there's a manager at my work that says "welllll" when he's about to dismiss everything you just said. He says it so often that it's become an eye-rolling joke amongst the rest of us employees.
Ils20l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the right answer for a different question.
zhujik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:27:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the question is "what's some stupid shit to say?"
nativefloridian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine was confused about what 'human waste' was, so I leaned over and told him "Shit". It wasn't loud, but the teacher heard me (small classroom). I could see the impulse to reprimand me for language cross her face, but she let it pass when she saw the other guy's look of understanding.
throw6539 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:51:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up...gozeimas.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shatto appu te kudasai~!
PyrZern ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that like, 'if you please' ?
Esarel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:59:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shizuka ni shite kudasai is the actual proper phrase for 'please be quiet' i believe
้ใใซใใฆใใ ใใ
maybe the ใฆ was just spliced off the end. disclaimer: still do not know how japanese works.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The te-form is a special form of verbs that is used to combine it with other verbs, you get it by replacing the final character of a verb with te or a variation of it. "Kudasai" is the imperative form of the formal form of the verb "kureru", which means "to give". So basically, "te kudasai" would roughly mean "Give me the action of X".
Gradient_Mell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The equivalent to shut up is urusai, if I remember correctly!
Alexanderzan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:06:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"urusai" literally means "noisy"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damare actually
Raestloz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Urusai" means "noisy", it's more like you saying "it's so hot in here, I sure could use an air conditioner" loudly and pressuring your friend to turn on the air conditioner
Gradient_Mell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I realize, that's why I said equivalent
Lukethehedgehog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I know that, I was just using Engrish for humorous effect.
venterol ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHUT UP
GO BACK TO TOKYO BITCH
bitwaba ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:48:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
".... please clap"
theflyingcheese ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude we have super similar user names that aren't some common phrase or idea.
flying_cheesecake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:24:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice! i know there are 1 or 2 other flying cheesecakes out there but i don't think i've heard of someone going by flying cheese!
Karmacamelon ยท 3754 points ยท Posted at 01:51:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was on an exchange trip to Japan, a kid walked up to me with his friends said dick to me and walked away. EDIT:I ain't even made this is my top rated comments.
27153 ยท 867 points ยท Posted at 03:14:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Spain, a group of teenagers continually yelled "pooooosay" and "dick" at me when they discovered I was American.
Goddamnit_Clown ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 11:10:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were on a long ski lift mixed in with a French school group. They clearly figured out we were English speakers and kept shouting basic English phrases at us with no interest in an answer. One of them really ran with it and just absolutely yelled:
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
"NICE TO MEET YOU"
over and over again. (Or some similarly banal phrase from English class, I forget).
theawesomemoon ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:03:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In England, I got to hear a lot of German swear words when I was on an exchange (am German).
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DUMKOFF! /\ | | The only german I know
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:28:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit....
Close enough.
theawesomemoon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:39:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still knew what you meant.
BIG_GAPING_CUNT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:41:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are looking at the lake
sovn_tri_tri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DUMM SCHEISSE
PM_ME_LUCID_DREAMS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:23:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schwein-hundt!
R126 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:43:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Schweinehund
AndyPhoenix ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fรถtze? :D
theawesomemoon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:42:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fotze. You don't always need an umlaut xD
AndyPhoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scheiรe! Ich wusste dass es keine Umlaut brauchte.
Squatbarcurls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ich habe ein aufrichtung!
LaPiscinaDeLaMuerte ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:47:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American military stationed in Spain right now and there was a group of teenagers with their parents and the teenagers were speaking in pretty ok English. What they were saying, however, was a hole lot of "mother fuck this" and "piece of shit" that. The parents kept asking (in Spanish) what they were talking about but they lied and said it was stuff about school.
LonleyViolist ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:13:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a class trip on a stop in Verona, we were all around 15 or 16, this group of 12-year-old Italian boys came up to us when they heard us speaking English to each other and started calling us all the different Jersey Shore people's names. And mind you, Jersey Shore hadn't been popular for a few years at that point. It was a weird day.
PM_me1bitcoin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:11:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are sure it wasn't pues si dick?
27153 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they were just yelling dick and pussy because they thought it was funny.
elpajaroquemamais ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The preterite of poner is fun. Puse, pusimos, pusieron
RegretDesi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:43:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pusรฉ
27153 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, trust me. It was just "pussy" with their Spanish accents.
RegretDesi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. I was making a joke.
27153 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh my bad.
krat0s77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No tienes de que preocuparte
reallifelucas ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in idubbbz's foreigner voice, is that bad?
cortez0498 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:42 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guiri
Thesloththatislost ยท 2145 points ยท Posted at 02:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be the highlight of my life
Spineless_McGee ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 03:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry about your life
Thesloththatislost ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 03:44:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apology accepted
Spineless_McGee ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 03:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
TheVineyard00 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:10:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry about your spine
Utopian_Pigeon ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:17:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, got a closet full of them.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:21:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LetsBeUs ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:40:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the sass with this one jeez
Dumas_Vuk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:14:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sass
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:47:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ass
AlphaLizard101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ss
GeoBrian ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:24:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:11:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dicku~
diode333 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
papafranku
therealhaagentii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:46:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo
Imtherealwaffle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be pretty cool
SomeoneTrading ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh your life probably doesn't have anything more interesting
LoupGarouGirl ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 03:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too teach English in Japan. One day after teaching my class of 5th graders, I am walking out the door to leave. Amongst all the cries of "goodbye!" I hear "oppai!" (boobs!) louder than the rest of the kids. I knew exactly which boy it was, and turned around, looked him straight in the eyes and said "wakatta" (I understood that.) His face turned bright red and he hasn't said that to me since.
annul ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:21:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oppai tokyo style
601error ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oppai Gundam style
Which is what I thought he was saying originally.
xXCurry_In_A_HurryXx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oppai daisuki
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does Wakatta mean
Smugleaf27 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:19:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:20:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ohhhhh
Wow I'm not smart.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Smugleaf27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't aware, thanks for the correction
unpronounceable ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is "wa" similar to "I"?
Ubek ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 04:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Beijing one day at the bus stop and it was raining. A delivery guy on a little ebike stopped next to me and just shouted "Fucka you!!" and drove off into the misty night.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:40:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was your evil nemesis whose plans you just unknowingly foiled.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:34:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean to say cryptic, or are you implying that the delivery guy was a mythical animal?
olegos ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:24:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:06:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
walks away
ASentientBot ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 03:14:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is Japanese
I_am_a_grill ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:20:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
KommanderKrebs ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:27:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
RegretDesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
walks away in Japanese
Hashbrown777 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in japanese
Lukethehedgehog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:31:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dikku
Lukethehedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Laughs in
SpanishJapanese]OfTheHorde ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:47:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most common one I get as a resident of Japan is "oh my god". For no rhyme or reason, people just yell this. The other common phrase heard in the wee hours of the morning is "party people, fuck yeah!"
fatalystic ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:18:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like "OH MAI GAAAA"?
OfTheHorde ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:19:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost exactly like that.
TheJollyLlama875 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably from this.
Surprised you don't get "HORRY SHEEEET"
effywap ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:20:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was that kid.. me and my friends walked up to a French foreign exchange student and said "Voulez vu coucher avec moi, ce soir", which translates to "will you sleep with me tonight" (we learned from lady marmalade of course). We thought we were so cool.
EverythingIsFlotsam ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:38:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*-vous
bazilbt ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:30:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend got really drunk and went around saying 'i have a huge penis' in Japanese to groups of Japanese exchange students one time.
RelaxRelapse ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:47:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If anyone wants to try it themselves it's "็งใฎใกใใกใใฏๅฐใใใงใ๏ผ" or with English characters, "Watashi no chinchin wa chisai desu!" Make sure you have a big smile on your face when you say it to the Japanese exchange student. :)
Taliel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chisai huh. Maybe you should upload a video saying the phrase so we can get the pronunciation right. ;)
Shwinky ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:25:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know any Japanese, but for some reason I feel like you're lying...
katiediditwell ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:57:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it means the opposite of huge.
machucogp ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:34:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, used google translate
LoupGarouGirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha!!! ๅใใฃใใ
Isildun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't speak Japanese but I know what ๅฐ means from Chinese...
TheNewOP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see that you, too, have watched Naruto
Exxmorphing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see that you have taken beginner's japanese.
Fridgerunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask if they're ใใฐใใฐ instead
kleptoteric ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:20:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a park in Korea and a school group of kids around 11 years old walked by. Four or five of them started waving at me so I waved back. Then a few of them started flipping me off and laughing. Little bastards. So I flipped them off which shocked them but then made them laugh harder, they did make me laugh, cocky little wankers.
redpandaeater ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:07:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at Tokyo Disneyland a long time ago, I had a shirt on with the Nike logo. Some guy came up to me and kept saying "Nike" except just one syllable.
upvotes2doge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how?
Gameguru08 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume its like, NighK
machucogp ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose they just said it the way us spanish speakers do, like "Like" but with an N instead
I actually was surprised to learn Americans pronounce it like "Nik-e"
Gameguru08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was pronounced like "like" with an N, that might have been because my first exposure to it was some character in a book i was reading had Nike shoes.
captainbluemuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Becuase it's a greek word. The brand is named after the greek goddess of victory. Kind of like "persephone" is "phony" instead of "phone"
sovn_tri_tri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American and I was surprised to discover that it was pronounced "Nik-e."
RinKiwa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an exchange student to Taiwan and my entire school knew how to say "Premature Ejaculation" by the end of the year. I was pretty proud and tickled because most of them didn't know what it meant
-PinkFreud- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:06:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He knew what he was doing.
sealedinterface ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus points if your name is Richard.
Alkamali ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:16:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: they can speak English fluently.
Pizzaboxprincess ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sounds like a man,,, without conviction... A man... who doesn't know... how to sell. A contradiction...
ragnarauch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman kid at my high school in Japan called me "ใใณใณใธใฅใผใน" (manko jusu, literally "pussy juice") for no reason whatsoever and when a teacher called him out on it he said "no no no I was saying ใใณใดใผใธใฅใผใน" (manGO jusu, mango juice). Gotta give him props for quick thinking.
MechaRandySavage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the U.S. elementary -> high schools, kids would walk up to me and say "dick" in Japanese and walk away.
Seems like kids will do anything for a rise, no matter the locale.
xXCurry_In_A_HurryXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chin Chin
MechaRandySavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Carl, is that you?
Pendraggon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whenever there were Japanese exchange students at my school we always got a kick out of showing them our colourful vocabulary, filthy frank style
TaonasSagara ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last trip to Japan, I had some kid walk up to me all brave man like and ask me in broken English where I was from. This lead to the ENTIRE class running over and wanting a picture with me. And then getting asked all the questions again and having the teacher tell the entire class.
So somewhere out there is a picture of me out by Diaba station, not too far from Fuji TV, with some middle school class. Ah yeah, token gaijin.
Cha-Le-Gai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the Navy we visited Korea, I was walking with a group of friends of mixed races. One particular black guy, a good buddy name a Franklin, was dressed a little showy. Big shades and a red and black leather motorcycle jacket. He rode a crotch rocket and wore that jacket everywhere. We end up walking past a school, and a few minutes later a group of school kids, mostly girls, come running after us and screaming. Apparently they thought he was a famous rapper and we were his entourage. They kept handing him stuff to sign and he didn't know who they thought he was so he just scribbled stuff. Later he kept joking it must have been Jay Z because they're both so handsome, but we (me and the guys with him) told everyone he was Chris Rock.
hikiri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am teacher in Japan. Still happens.
ragnarauch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, my best friend of over a year now first introduced himself by saying "hello, I am fucking shit Kazuki" and then ignoring me for a week.
MakeBacon_NotWar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading a story someone told of their time in Japan (or Korea?) where these two little kids were staring at him over the booth of the restaurant, and then pulled their eyes wide open and started chanting "hot dog! baseball!"
monkeybrain3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it Frank Yang?
lame698 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใกใใกใ
SNSDsunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/PfPVylPEKH0
thefenixfamily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through the same phase, just the other way around
atony1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dick
coolcoenred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my town in the Netherlands there is a very international community because an American school is located there. The Dutch kids have started to throw insults at anyone that goes to that school, even other dutch people (like me).
Misledz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go back and tell him, your chinchin is a peanut
rolledmycaragain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally had strangers come up and yell the F word in English to me in China and then see if I reacted.
ChaseObserves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I served an LDS mission in Guatemala and pretty much every day when I walked past a group of kids they would say nonsensical English phrases laced with swear words, or just swear words alone.
"Oh hello fuck" "Oh shit" "Shit asshole"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have said vagina and just let him wonder lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Removed.
finilain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister and I went on a trip to Japan and we organised a visit to a high school there. When the principal walked us through the school grounds, a group of girls had a PE lesson, and they all stopped what they were doing to stare at us. Then they started shouting 'I LOVE YOU!!! DO YOU LOVE ME TOO? PLEASE LOVE ME LOTS!!!'
We later taught interested students a few German words, and we got asked again how to say 'I love you. Please love me a lot!' in German. I'm still confused.
Morthese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Taiwan on exchange a kid walked up to me and said ganjiao and then anal sex, as sort of a mini Chinese lesson.
xParaDoXie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The day you got your license was the day you got your first speeding ticket.
youRFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, until you come back an insult them in Japanese he's got you beat...
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people I know told foreigners to yell kanker to other people. kanker means cancer.
AngryWatchmaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct response is "balls". You missed your chance to be a "member" of the club.
skybastion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds eeriely similar to a situation I had, also on an exchange trip in Japan, a little boy and his friends (in baseball uniforms) asked what our names were, and one of us said, "Matt," and the little boy started shouting, "My name is peh-nis! Peh-nis, Peh-nis, Peh-nis!" and we walked quickly away.
Karmacamelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like they learn English words that they are not taught in school and just want to try it on native speakers.
skybastion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, totally, it's all for shock value.
jojoga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Richard by any chance?
Karmacamelon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Not even close
hello_worrld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares about these edits
Pickles_MakeMeSad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This same thing happened to me in Panama when I said to a cashier that I lived in the states and can speak English.
ivmeer ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 03:15:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English in China from 2001-2003, to university students, aged ~18-19. There was an exercise in their book where they were supposed to write a dialogue and perform it based on some specific situations outlined in the book. One of them was sharing bad news to a friend that you had failed a test.
Two guys get up to perform. Student 1: How are you today? Student 2: I am not so well. I failed a test. Student 1: Oh, shit! That is terrible!
The whole class cracked up laughing. Swearing is much more shocking to the Chinese than it is to people in English-speaking countries, so they thought they were being really bad. I laughed and told them as long as they used it correctly, I couldn't tell them it was wrong.
Besides, isn't that more or less what we'd say to our friends if they told us they failed?
[deleted] ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have any more stories like this?
jobessiff ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 03:53:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm not OP but have a similar story you might like.
I went on a school trip to Japan when I was sixteen and the homestay family I was with had a son who was my age. The first time I was introduced to his group of friends, this one guy pointed to his own short spiky hair and said "call me fucking pineapple". Good times.
Smgth ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So like, did he want "fucking" to be part of his name, or was he just really enthusiastic?
self_me ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi fucking pineapple. How are you doing today?
diligence_is_key ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:40:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One kid knows English pretty well. He spent a year or so abroad with his parents. Compared to the other kids, he's really smart.
He also doesn't realize I know what they're saying. He tries to get the other boys to come up to me and say "bust" as if it's offensive. They haven't learned things like "boobs" yet. They have yet to find something that offends me haha
Also, the eight year olds will occasionally giggle at 'six' and say it like "sek-kus" (sex).
Smgth ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joke's on them, "sex" is just six in German.
SuperVancouverBC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the German word for sex?
DerBoy_DerG ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:38:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex.
himejirocks ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:10:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is one.
On a written test: What did you do today?
7 year old: I fart.
Still have no idea where he learned that. He even drew a stick figure tooting wind out it's butt.
TheLeaper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:34:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll love this: https://gaijinchronicles.com/2004/11/11/my-kids-are-perverted/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing.
MJWood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gaijinchronicles.com has all the stories you could ever dream of.
Sawendro ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:59:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese students are great for pulling this kind of stuff.
My favourite, however, is the English teacher who tells the kids "Shut your damn mouths!"
KasaJizo ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I showed my students Sesame Street. Afterwards I asked them what words they heard.
One student answers "F@#$ you, Shut up!"
No.... just no..
He said "you don't have to shout"
sabasco_tauce ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:59:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you shut up
bucky763 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:16:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. Just curious, how much Japanese do you have to know to teach English in Japan?
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 02:29:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bucky763 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's interesting, thanks!
diligence_is_key ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They like you to know some basic things to get around for daily life. Depends on the school and profession. For example, my school wants me to be nearly fluent/fluent but not use it unless necessary in front of the kids. We go on study abroad and things, so I have to be able to communicate with everyone in cases of emergency.
Eikaiwa, typically less is better.
bucky763 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense. Thank you
sharklops ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a little more than Japanese non-English-speakers
NitroMuffin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:08:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not related to the thread, but how did you approach learning japanese? Ive been trying to learn but its so difficult to find where to start
ibukiimioda ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not op but try learning 2 of the 3 alphabets (spelling) katakana and hiragana, then maybe try attending a class or getting a textbook (genki is a pretty popular one)
Corsair4 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hiragana and katakana are basically required as almost the first thing you learn. You can knock those out in a week if you try. Genki is pretty good, but it isn't the greatest for grammar. A class with a native speaker is preferable if you can make it.
OHreallydoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memrise is also pretty good for menorising
Lukethehedgehog ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check this website out, it's what I used and it's pretty good. It's also got MEGA links to free studying resources and, most importantly, raw manga: https://djtguide.neocities.org
If you want my personal recommendations, use the following texts:
Tae Kim's Grammar Guide (Very useful, don't confuse with the Complete Guide to Japanese)
Japanese the Manga Way
The Dictionaries of Japanese Grammar (All three of them are invaluable resources)
Core 6k Anki deck for vocab
Remembering the Kanji (Heavily controversial, might not be for you, but it's the one I found the most useful)
Don't bother with Genki or Imabi. Genki is pretty redundant if you pair it with my recommendations, and Imabi is too in-depth for a beginner to really benefit from it.
If you want to ask questions or chat in Japanese, come to the Daily Japanese Thread on 4chan's /int/ board. It's a very big motivator, at least for me.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ใใใใจใใใใใพใI'll check some of those out. I've been looking for some resources to compliment my current ใซใปใใ studies.
Repealer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
+1000, although I'd add a recommendation, if you have an android phone, download obenkyo app and use it for hiragana/katakana testing. (real kana also exists on PC), should not take you more than 1 week to learn both. Can also use it with ankidroid on your phone, and paste in kanji you don't know from anki into obenkyo/jisho to find the meaning/strokes/readings.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, you don't really need an extra app for kana when you can easily find anki decks for learning it just as easily.
Also, I wouldn't recommend wanikani. It's basically a paid, uncustomizable version of Anki.
Repealer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got confused, I meant to say Real Kana.
I don't think anki is the best way to study initially. The reason it works well with kanji is because it shows you the hiragana/katakana /furigana for stuff after you press show answer - Obenkyo works in the same way, but has a hira/kata chart and you can select only 5-10 to test yourself with and go from there. It works on the same SRS principal but is a little cleaner/faster in my opinion.
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your best bet is to start taking classes.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't. Many tutors suck. If you really want a tutor, make sure to couple it with self-learning resources to make sure what you're getting is the real deal and you're not getting scammed like I was.
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By classes I meant at school, but primary higher learning. I do not mean hire a private tutor.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see, I misunderstood then. But not everyone has easy access to school or university classes anyway, so sometimes it's not an option.
I still feel self-taught is superior.
diligence_is_key ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, I started with learning and memorizing hiragana and katakana. My uni used the Yookoso! Books, but Genki works as well.
From there, follow the book, memorize kanji, a lot of rote memorization practice along with speaking and tons of writing. I studied intensively (6 hours a day) and passed N3 in 1.5 years and N2 the following year.
Read as much as you can. Find someone you can speak with. Listen to podcasts and practice imitating what you can. A lot of what I pick up are things I heard from my Japanese friends.
Kitsyfluff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go watch Japanese from Zero, it's pretty good.
rinitytay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:43:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duolingo app is fun n free. I think it has Japanese but I use it for Spanish.
Lukethehedgehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't, actually.
icanbenormaltoo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:20:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my dream job. How do you get around to actually getting hired in Japan as an English teacher? Thank you in advance!
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:16 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:04 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:47 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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icanbenormaltoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looked up the JET program. Apparently I need to be an English / Education degree holder to be eligible to apply. Also would have a plus to pass the JLPT. I'm in IT so my job's not related at all. Maybe I'll hit the books again - for the degree and the license. I'm not really sure about the money though </3 So.. :(
hoocares ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? No, none of that is true, I don't know where you got that information. You need to have ANY four year degree to apply, it does NOT have to be in Education or English so long as it is bachelor's or higher. You do NOT have to pass any level of the JLPT to apply. You do NOT have to pass any level while you're here, either, but you should try, and starting last year they will reimburse you for the test fee (providing you completed the application for the reimbursement) if you take and complete N3 while on the program. N3 only though, no level below or above.
uptomogood ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:45:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possible he looked at being a CIR? I don't know if that role is even around anymore. But, yeah, for an ALT.... being charismatic and adventurous will do the trick.
hoocares ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! That would make partial sense, you do need at least N2 to be a CIR but you don't have to have a specific English or ED degree for it. CIRs are still around, and even the once critically-endangered SEA position (is that the correct acronym? The sports advisors) is making a surprising resurgence thanks to the new educational standards.
Stitchthealchemist ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also don't let them know if you like anime. That tends to make you less eligible
Lukethehedgehog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:15:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao is that true?
landonepps ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a way, yeah. Imagine you're interviewing a foreign teacher in America, and you ask them "Why do you want to work in America?" and they respond with "I really like Disney movies."
...huh? How is that a reason to want to work somewhere?
It comes off as shallow, childish, and not at all professional.
lygerzero0zero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on how you spin it. "As a child, I loved Disney movies, which first inspired my interest in American lifestyle and culture... etc." Sounds like the start of a perfectly fine interview response to me.
icanbenormaltoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? What's with that? I like anime the normal amount I guess so I would have mentioned it in an interview or something. Thanks for the heads up!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:25:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stitchthealchemist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:29:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also important to remember that they are looking for people to kind of introduce the Japanese students to Americans. Why should they hire the guy with a huge interest in Japanese culture over a guy interested in teaching his culture to the Japanese?
From what I understand it also helps keep the unqualified away. You know, those Japanophiles who would make a fool of themselves and the JET program.
Jeshistar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start with an Eikaiwa like coco juku or ECC. (These are the two that I would recommend, anyway.)
Source: Taught at an eikaiwa for many years, am now a translator.
Icalasari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't it also get harder to be accepted the older you are?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Icalasari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my case, I do want to try it, but due to depression hitting I wasted just enough funds at college that I need to wait a few years to pay down the loans and start again, so I'll probably be in my 30's before I get a chance to try it
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:51:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a career.
The 'best' way is get a four year degree and apply to the JET program in the fall. If that doesn't work out some schools/BoEs hire directly, so look around. If that doesn't work out the easiest way is to get a job at an after-school academy, but that stuff is.... sketchy..
icanbenormaltoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh. Why is it sketchy? Anyway, yes, I don't plan on doing it my whole life. I just want to try doing it for a couple of years before settling down. Thank you for the advice!
jayhens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in Korea, not Japan, so the systems are a little different but I assume the reason it could be "sketchy" is the same in both countries-- after school programs tend not to answer to anyone and you can get screwed over by management
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, however Korean ones seem even sketchier. With the whole hagwon culture, English after-school academies are much more prominent in South Korea than in Japan. With so many people trying to cash in on the high demand it seems to attract all the wrong types. The number of stories I've read of hagwon owners not honoring their contracts is frightening.
jayhens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a hagwon and honestly the owner was a scumbag of a man, but my contract was honored and I got paid everything I was owed. And there are plenty of schools that are similar or better. But if you get screwed it's incredibly easy to get screwed hard, and if you have nowhere else to go? That's where the horror stories happen.
Honestly it's a matter of luck in your placement.
Edit: also working closer to Seoul is always safer but those jobs are in higher demand
Hyper_Fujisawa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they're private for profit businesses to give you an idea of the atmosphere. As a fresh off the boat foreigner you're easy to take advantage of without the protections of the larger official organizations. Google searching for eikaiwa horror stories can produce some examples.
Make no mistake, there are good ones, but you just increase the chances of having a bad experiences if you go that route, and the contracts usually aren't as good.
hoocares ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If an organisation is always hiring, there is a reason for it.
Sketchy as in you could potentially be put in a dangerous, harassing situation in an organisation that is trying to skirt work laws. Sketchy as in female teachers may encounter their students openly masturbating in class, and male teachers may have female students threaten them into a relationship sketchy. Sketchy as in you may be scheduled for 35 hours and expected to work 60 sketchy, all for less than minimum wage and zero overtime. That kind of sketchy. Stick to reputable organisations, and among those also avoid Interac as they've been involved in bribing scandals lately and everything I hear from people who have worked for them has been bad.
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually got scouted while I was in university here. I worked at an eikaiwa while getting my Masters in TESOL. I'm not finished yet, but it did get me into my current high school position. They really liked that I'm almost done with my masters, have some teaching knowledge, and am pretty fluent in Japanese.
JET and Interac are better ways to get into teaching as an actual teacher, but those are ALTs while I'm getting my actual license and will be able to teach on my own. Eikaiwas like Nova and Aeon are also good entries to get into Japan to see if you like it first.
Doctor-Amazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people are suggesting JET but it's important to note that it's the trickiest one to get into. There's plenty of ALT companies like Interac or Altia that do the same job.
If none of those work you can look into eikaiwa jobs, which are like private lessons and tutoring, but they tend to be not as great.
xiaodown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://kydeanderic.com/FAQ/
Exzyle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in China.
Came across "Fuck you all the way through".
I've since stolen it.
ShadowOvertaker ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Stuff like this makes me want to try teaching in Japan for a couple years after paying of loans lol. Sounds fun and interesting, and it'd make for a great change in pace.
deepintheupsidedown ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:32:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something you would say before an execution.
Shikatanai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite when I was teaching over there was a guy who said "he came in my behind". He meant to say "he was behind me".
I had to cough to cover up my laugh.
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live for the little things like that!
iwaspeachykeen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this reminds me of when I taught English in Korea. the pronunciation parts were sometimes the most challenging. for the short and long vowel sounds in 'it' and 'eat', it was super hard for them to distinguish, and one day while practicing it someone decided to practice with Shit and Sheet instead. it made for a pretty funny end to that lesson. mostly because nobody got the 'sheet' right, it was just everybody saying shit over and over
JLR- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:40:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss some of those students in Japan. I had one tell me that Santa and Colonel Sanders were the same person as they both look similar and are important during Xmas.
Gmanfreak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when I was taking Japanese. In class we were given situations that wereโ supposed to have one answer because we were working on vocab. My teacher asked me what I should say when I'm in a dark room with another person, answer being "please turn the lights on". I mixed up my vocab and answered something to the effect of "please leave".
Class got a kick out of it, hopefully she didn't think I was referring to anything...
lygerzero0zero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having done the same job, you'd be surprised what random English they pick up from pop culture and the media. Everyone at my school knew "shut up" as well, even though we obviously never taught it.
Also apparently they know all about pens and pineapples these days, though my contract ended before that became a thing.
SuperVancouverBC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um what thing?
lygerzero0zero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google pen pineapple apple pen.
I apologize in advance.
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used that song to my advantage as much as possible. They eventually got tired of it!
But yeah, it's much less "how" he learned it and more so "omg I wasn't expecting that. Keep it together!" XD
Julps2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:05:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit Jian Yang!
TheRemonst3r ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:25:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"hello Erlich Bachman? This is your mother and you are not my baby."
OBDog11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diligence is key
palepavon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn, I laughed for 15 minutes straight after reading this out loud to my husband.
mrbaggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is ใใใพใใ as offensive as I've had it explained to me? My pop was a PoW in Japan, and he never talked much about it. But there's a phrase/sentence that sounds something like that that means "Shut the fuck up" that he copped in the camps.
Google translate gives me noisy. But it also turns ใใใชใใค into "bastard" as opposed to the "fuckface" I know it as and ใกใใใฐใ into "Town idiot" or "You know what?" as opposed to "fuckhead" or giant idiot. So I feel like it errs on the literal rather than common usage for the words. Like ใกใก being slang for tits doesn't even show up
Sidenote, I have had fun with translators and enjoy swearing in other languages.
lygerzero0zero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Human or machine translation, there's never an exact literal equivalent nor an exact slang equivalent. Everything is only an approximation that works well in some situations but not as well in others.
Is "wise" a positive word? What if I said, "he's a wise old man," and then what if I said, "yeah all right, thanks wise guy"? Without context you can't say anything.
chiarassu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a side note, I think ใกใใใฐใ was meant to be written as ่ถ ใใซ where the first kanji means "extremely" (more slang-y though, like "super-duper") and the latter half is just in katakana.
Typing it that way will result in "super stupid" from Google Translate which is much closer to "giant idiot" than "town idiot" or "you know what?"
mrbaggins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the literal I knew (before translate tools) was "huge idiot"
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it depends on the context for all of those. I have never used or have heard anyone say ใใใพใใ, but I've read it in manga. The meaning isn't pleasant, for sure.
Translation is so much fun _^
landonepps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of the teachers at my middle school in Japan use it when they are upset because the class is being rowdy. I don't think it's offensive.
SolDarkHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google translate doesn't do so well with Japanese unless you use kanji. Typing stuff in all hiragana often won't work.
DarknessSavior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow English teacher in Japan, I can more thoroughly imagine this in my head as one of my own students.
And I can't help but cackle. XD
cplane97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This got me too good
Kharne85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was in China earlier this year at an amusement park and a 12 year old kid in front of me in a line was very interested to practice his English with a genuine lao wai. I asked him what words he knew and he said "shit and fuck" and I just happened to be wearing a pair of socks under my jeans at the time that had "I FUCKED YOUR MUM" written on then.
Kid lost it. Literally have never seen someone laugh so much.
mrmindful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ESL teachers in Asia have the funniest stories
AlmightyRuler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an ESL teacher for ages 3-7 in China, and I have a kid like that in one of my classes. Name is Jasper. Smart little devil. One of our stories is "Run, Monkey, Run", which is about six monkeys running a race. The monkeys get sidetracked along the way, till none of the monkeys are left to win the race. The prompts the question at the end, "Where are the monkeys?" Jasper, for reasons I can only guess at, responded "In the fire." I had no retort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm not sure. He's eight xD
Fumblerful- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll fit right in in New York or Philly someday.
diligence_is_key ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like that kind of kid!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! :)
resilient86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jason?
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I'm a girl ;)
Xervicx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't there an equivalent to that in Japanese? I know there's one that essentially translates to "Your words are unwanted sound" or something like that. And then there are other variations that are closer to "Don't speak/act" or "sit down and shut up". So it wouldn't surprise me if a word for "shut up" and one for "eternity" were somehow combined to make one common phrase.
diligence_is_key ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usually we say "urusai" or "uzai" for you're being annoying and such.
"Damare" is also used for shut up.
I just use "Urusai" usually.
SuperVancouverBC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See I would love to learn Japanese. It's a very beautiful language. Very pleasant to hear. I also wish to be able to translate the first Inuyasha theme song into English
Xervicx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Those were the two I was thinking about. Thank you, it was bugging me because I knew I knew the words but just couldn't place them.
diligence_is_key ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime :)
Xervicx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a decent way to learn Japanese without finding a private tutor? Can it be learned on one's own free time?
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm yes? Depends on what you mean by "decent".
I think that if you don't have someone to speak with, you won't be able to converse properly, but that's my very personal, biased, and unresearched opinion.
Learning the alphabets, kanji, grammar, listening, reading, etc yeah, no problem. I bought a lot of self-study books and used rote memorization techniques combined with constantly writing, reading, listening, and studying. Of course, I think that having someone to converse with is really important for growth, but no, you don't need a tutor right away. Can they be helpful if used properly? Of course! But if you're confident in your linguistic abilities, then go ahead and try to see how far you can go! :)
Xervicx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh okay! It's something I've been interested in for a long time. I'm basically just looking to learn enough to have a basic conversation, and to understand some Japanese shows/movies without having to spend so much of my focus on the subtitles. I feel like it's like most languages. Once you learn the basics, you can learn everything else easier once you actually start using it.
I appreciate the advice!
Zero_x_Shinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me, or are there a lot of American English teachers in Japan?
diligence_is_key ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a big draw, yeah.
Zero_x_Shinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you have to learn Japanese in order to teach in Japan? Or do the students already have enough experience in English in order to communicate well enough?
EuropeanGuyOnRoadtri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I just stumbled upon your comment.
I'm actually going to Japan in a month. Do you have any recommendations or must-try's?
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots! Where are you going though? Japan is deceptively large haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had heard Japanese are polite people. But I guess naughtiness can go hand in hand with politeness!
diligence_is_key ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kids and teens are the more naughty ones, but of course not EVERYONE is polite. (Looking at you, drunk salaryman on the second to last train).
SuperVancouverBC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say the vast majority of people are polite with a small number that aren't. Japanese people are great
[deleted] ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 03:31:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, but my best answer to this is in high school, an English teacher was asking about the poetic reasoning behind why the moon is always used in a feminine context. Guy behind me says "because they're both on a 28 day cycle?"
_Count_ ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 08:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that not the actual correct answer?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:05:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you know to this day I still don't know because the class erupted and the teacher never answered him.
chicomathmom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes, it is. Menses means monthly
anonymousraccoon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:37:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually, im not even mad. thats amazing.
yadoya ยท 21861 points ยท Posted at 02:20:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The assignment was "Write the following numbers in all letters"
The kid answered :
3: four
15: sixteen
21:twenty-two
And so on. I gave him full points.
Edit: if you don't get it, just read the comments. Fuck.
hoblobfobtob ยท 5669 points ยท Posted at 04:10:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me way too long to realize what the joke was.
queencuntpunt ยท 1355 points ยท Posted at 04:15:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a second, the following second I fell in love with the kid.
[deleted] ยท 509 points ยท Posted at 04:26:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/callthecops
CptSpockCptSpock ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 04:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, that 5 year old post
naufalap ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:57:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that hard if I should expect.
LtKenny ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:05:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/CallChrisHansen
mmmoreos ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 05:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it it was a joke. Could just over analyze everything.
N546RV ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 06:52:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a PE class I was in in like third grade or something. If I recall correctly, we were doing arm circles or some shit like that, and the teacher told us to count "one" on the first circle, and then continue counting every other circle.
Here was the problem: I'd never before heard the expression "every other" prior to that day, and in that moment I interpreted it in the most literal possible fashion. To me, it just sounded like a weird way of saying "count the first circle and every successive circle as well."
So then I was confused as fuck when the entire class was going "one...two...three...four" while I was going "one two three four five six seven eight."
WintergreenGrin ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 08:36:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That anecdote was both amusing and appropriate, well done.
randomfluffypup ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized I don't know what every other means...
TheLightInChains ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 10:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not every one, but every other one. So: this one... not this one... this one... not this one... and so on.
Zuphixavex ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't use a phrase in a description of the same phrase.
TheLightInChains ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 11:57:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just did. Checkmate.
Sexy_Koala_Juice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate atheists.
NotYourTypicalReditr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:57:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every other = each additional. That'll learn ya the meaning.
eleventy4 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or every other meaning skip one each time, or alternate. Like I go to the store every other Wednesday
NotYourTypicalReditr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:18:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. I used the phrase in the course of quoting a price once, saying "it will be [this much] for the first one, then this [different amount] for every other one" and the customer started doing the math. Funny incident, I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there.
frenchmeister ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got in trouble in the 3rd grade for not understanding "every other" too. It was close to the holidays so our assignment in the computer lab that day was just coloring some dumb cartoon picture of a gingerbread house according to the teacher's instructions. All we had to do was click on each shape, pick a color, and use the paint bucket tool to fill it in.
I was doing ok until she said to pick a purple color and paint every other gumdrop on the roof with it. I remember thinking "every other one besides what?" I think I concluded that the first one on the left was the starting point, so I left it white and only painted every other one besides it.
It became obvious to me that I misunderstood when the teacher saw and started yelling at me, but by then I was tooโ embarrassed to ask what "every other one" meant because I figured she'd just mock me :/
door_of_doom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:06:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
doesn't need to over analyze. could simply be ESL. If that qestion where in Spanish, which is my second language, it would be written with similar terminology and i might have interpreted it the same way.
hoblobfobtob ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are now on a list.
Driveshaft815 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:49:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!
its2016 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:52:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third.
deemey ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wheres chris hansen when you need him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annddd now you're on a government watchlist.
colbystan ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 05:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be a joke by the kid.
PlzGodKillMe ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 07:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the FOLLOWING number. It wasn't a joke, the kid just followed instructions.
tomios010 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all heroes wear capes. Thank you.
davidplank ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I was still so lost
Corbee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging from the number of people who didn't get it, the kid seems to be seriously smart
crespoh69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how our current most advanced AI would answer
jjw14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you...shaking head at my ignorance
LowlySlayer ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:51:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the numbers that followed the ones shown.
idi0tf0wl ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:10:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't necessarily make it a joke.
electricmaster23 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 05:28:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it... :/
maus_rawr ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 05:37:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Four follows 3, sixteen follows 15, etc.
electricmaster23 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 05:43:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice... I was kind of slow on this one... but I think kids often think on a different level when ambiguity is involved. We're conditioned to understand what questions are asking of us; oftentimes, kids are not. That's why you often hear about those puzzles that kids solve but adults can't.
maus_rawr ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:46:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear what you're saying. I was watching "Only Yesterday" awhile ago, and the little girl started explaining how she comprehends division with fractions. I know in my mind that what she's saying makes sense and is logical, but I still can't understand her method.
FangLargo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that where she explains how the she flips the number she decides by, and multiplies the two numbers? I think that's how they teach fractions in Japan. Kind of helpful, kind of not.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else do you divide fractions? Multiplying with the inverse of the denominator is by far the simplest way to divide fractions
thegeek01 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:35:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that everything you just said sounds to me like gobbledygook? Like, you sound like you know your stuff, but my mind is blown by the words you're using.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not bad if you've never really encountered these terms before, I don't even register these words as strange, are the only names I know for the things I'm describing but I encounter them a lot in my studies.
FizzleMateriel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I finally realized that in high school, it blew my mind.
YellowishWhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only is it the simplest, its how fractions are defined. Division is just multiplication by 1/x
officiallyaninja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:21:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you mean (a/b)/(c/d) = (a/b)*(d/c)?
i learnt it like that in india, how did you learn it?
Zuphixavex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(a/b)/(c/d) = ad/bc
I guess that's essentially the same except missing a step. In the UK I wasn't taught about "flipping the second fraction", just "pull the second denominator to the first numerator", then you have a fraction and a whole number.
BritishBrownie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was taught to flip the second fraction and in in the UK
Zuphixavex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out.
I learned about 15 years ago, not sure if it changed at any point, or maybe it just varies per school or teacher.
maus_rawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:25:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it was so strange. There was no multiplication involved.
Edit: There's a clip of the scene I'm talking about here: http://blog.wowzers.com/bid/315037/helping-students-develop-math-understanding-beyond-memorization
Togepi32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep Change Flip!
RETheUgly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you link it? I'd be interested to see if they do anything more effective than what I do.
The method I was taught, and I've found works best, is to use the property of fractions where dividing by a fraction is the same as multiplying by its inverse - that is:
And so I just make it a multiplication thing instead. For some things I just remember what it is (dividing by 1/3 is the same as multiply by 3), but more complicated things I go straight to inverses.
maus_rawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:30:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't use the inversion then multiplication method. She just thought of it as division of a fraction by a fraction. I just rewatched a clip of her explanation and I'm still confused.
I found a link to the scene I'm referring to on this webpage: http://blog.wowzers.com/bid/315037/helping-students-develop-math-understanding-beyond-memorization
Im_thatguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like she confused dividing by a fraction and it's inverse. She thought dividing by 1/4 is the same as dividing into four, which is actually just dividing by 4. Dividing by 1/4 is the same as multiplying by 4.
RETheUgly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see! The child in the movie (Taeko) is, in fact, incorrect in trying to divide the 2/3 into 4 parts, because that actually is the same as multiplying by 1/4 (instead of dividing by 1/4 as they intended).
That website, Wowzers, is taking about a different way of looking at solving fraction division - geometrically, instead of algebraically. It first reminds students that division is breaking the first number into parts that are the second number's size (6/2 is 3 because 6 can be broken into 3 parts of size 2).
It then extends that to fractions, breaking up a non-integer into parts that are not integer sizes. 2/3 divided by 1/5 is taking 2/3 of a circle and finding out how many fifths of the original circle are in it - NOT the size of one fifth of the two thirds part.
It's much easier to explain and use this method visually, but the idea is sound as long as you don't get confused. Again, however, the character in the movie is wrong and trying to use their method is incorrect - division of fractions would be dividing the original circle into fourths, not dividing the two thirds portion.
maus_rawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. All this time, I thought Taeko was right and her sister was just confused by her method. I guess I'm the one who can't math.
fooduvluv ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 06:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My colleague was telling me about a writing assignment in elementary school where the teacher wrote something like, "Write a story about your life as . . . "
Other kids wrote about their families and friends, or being superheroes or famous people or whatever, my colleague wrote about being part of a family of 3 dots.
OldHippie ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 07:41:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are creative people, and there are literal people, and sometimes they intersect.
RobertNAdams ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...I thought she was giving him a pass on a technicality since those were technically "all letters". I think I have the dumb.
maus_rawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:18:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay. I usually don't get jokes. You're not alone!
Edit: I usually just laugh with everyone else and hope no one notices that I don't know what's going on.
RobertNAdams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the polite thing to do is to ask someone on the side. Jokes are like frogs, they die when you dissect them. I still wanna know what my stupid brain couldn't put together but I don't wanna ruin anyone's fun. ._.
SmooK_LV ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, but why not
1:two
2:three
and so on?
maus_rawr ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 05:41:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the quiz was written as:
"Write the following numbers in all letters:
3:
15:
21:"
SmooK_LV ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:51:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh now I get it. Thanks.
fakeumfake ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:33:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... but what about male models?
EatAtGrizzlebees ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:04:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The files are IN the computer?!
Parcus42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... that we all to can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
maus_rawr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:16:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In all letters" means to write out in words, i.e. 'two' and not 2. The kid took each number on the quiz, added one to it (because the question says 'following number'), and then wrote down that number in words. However, the teacher wanted the students to write down each number listed on the quiz and write it in words.
Does that make more sense?
ktkps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
joke - frog.
Today A Joke Died. R.I.P
crystalgecko ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:15:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for people who lose the funny when a joke is explained or told "too many times" my world is all the happier for laughing now I get it and I'll laugh each time I see it.
ktkps ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:42:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
by all means :)
Londongirl25 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:51:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhhhh crap I get it now
MuslinBagger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:14:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0 points to Hufflepuff.
neong87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:26:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the kid.
GreatNegotiator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:50:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Story of my life.
RINGER4567 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blame the nature of reddit and the internet... we skim comments to appreciate them.. its not your falt /u/hoblobfobtob
hoblobfobtob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the verification.
RINGER4567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:00 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats okay u are welcome
TaylorSwift_Eats_Ass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:39:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Stoned tho.
hoblobfobtob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L337K11L34
Ignativs-appiphilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do not get the point still now (-_- !)
Trump_For_Janitor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:38:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the numbers that followed.
Ignativs-appiphilia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh, I understand now, haha, so interesting!
jmfalconee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....what is it?
hoblobfobtob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the next number instead of the number he should have.
mig4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wrote the next number that follows the first number.
68W38Witchdoctor1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6-year old smartass you would be disappointed.
sjora ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:22:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You had a hard time following the joke?
Salt-Pile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too, but it was because I had trouble parsing "in all letters" (as opposed to "all in letters").
At least, that's what I'm telling myself.
FitnessLarry23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still dont get it
Zock123454321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain
zulhadm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it
hoblobfobtob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:27:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know
onodriments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its not a joke, this is serious.
DontBeAJerkYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were honest, 1 extra credit for blob!
SingerOfSongs__ ยท 1732 points ยท Posted at 04:40:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for giving him full points. As a high school kid with a penchant for overthinking simple instructions, I have had many teachers in the past take off points for stuff like this.
Edit: woah
Qikdraw ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 05:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I just gave you an upvote for using "penchant" in a sentence.
SiVGiV ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 05:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I just gave you one for using ""penchant""
Stoic_stone ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 06:09:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so on
AKMan6 ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 06:11:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so forth
SSGSSKKx10 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And what have you
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:30:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fries, please.
Paul3-505 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then?
oniony ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stick those fuckers in your face?
upboatsallaround ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No "and then".
AldurinIronfist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:24:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ad infinitum
Poansore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so forth
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:32:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so fifth
SingerOfSongs__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like using descriptive words. English teachers love me.
omally114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grammar nazis hate him.
misoranomegami ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still pissed that a math teacher in the 6th grade gave me a 50 on a homework assignment because the instructions said to complete at least half the problems using this particular method and I did all of them that way. She wanted us to do half and half but she didn't say to and 100% is greater than or equal to half. Grrr. You're a math teacher for ducks sake!
zerj ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had a similar issue in my Senior Electrical Design course in college. The assignment was to build an alarm clock using discrete transistors and other components, for extra credit we could build it using a PLD. My group said fuck using these ancient wire wrap boards and lets just learn the language required for the PLD and use that. After the fact the Professor claimed the extra credit was to build it using both design methods. Went out for beers instead.
PLD:
Atheistmoses ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 07:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think full points in that particular case is fine as long as the teacher explains the question after, but from High School forward, reading comprehension and logical thinking is part of the evaluation.
berniszon ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 10:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should add "Writing unambiguous assignment descriptions" to teachers' evaluation.
St4ubz ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The instruction are pretty ambiguous. The question needed to be "Write each of the following numbers in all letters". It is the teachers responsibility to make sure the instructions are clear.
SoupahMario ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 10:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am 18 and a senior, and all of my teachers know me as "That guy who overcomplicates and confuses everything."
Like, it's a simple word problem, but I provide multiple different trains of logic despite only needing one.
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"It depends what his end goal was, maybe there was food on the other side of the road, maybe there was a crazy chicken axe murderer chasing him and he was running for his life, maybe his final destination was on the side of the road he was on all along and he crossed the road for NO reason. Maybe-"
"to get to the other side of the road, soup"
SoupahMario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why the downvotes, what'd i do
Edit: This is how my brain is programmed to work, I misunderstand/overcomplicate everything and try my best to work around that and provide my own logic to things, and explain why I think that way to the teachers, who are kind enough to attempt to understand me. Normally it saves me from failing, I think it got me through last year.
This is also why I'm also casual in my essays, I have no choice but to explain myself so I just use first person and say why I wrote things mid essay in parenthesis.
VanessaSoIll ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:56:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think we have very similar brains. I do this shit all the time.
Gypsyarados ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 08:03:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you did deserve to lose points. You should be able to use context clues to stop yourself "overthinking" those things.
_MandelBrot ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 08:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Overthinking isn't something that should be praised, yet you'll see enough people here humble bragging about it.
magnora7 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 10:39:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underthinking is a big problem in our society today, I don't see a reason to encourage that
_MandelBrot ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:25:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who would want to encourage underthinking? Neither me nor anyone else in this thread said anything like that
The_Outcast4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to encourage it. Less competition in the job market that way!
PhilW1010 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell that to the Clintons
Ozimandius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:25:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it is underthinking to not take into account teacher intention when reading the question. That is one of the most important skills in life, understanding what someone else is trying to ask.
If you simply read a test extremely literally and try to answer it in a clever way the teacher can't know if you were just dodging the question because you didn't know the real answer.
magnora7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the person who did the test was not trying to be clever or funny. They just thought that was honestly what the teacher wanted, because the wording is slightly ambiguous.
Ozimandius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not responding to the student who wrote 21: Twenty-two. Obviously that student is showing mastery of the thing the teacher was seeking and even made it harder on himself - no reasonable teacher should take off points in that situation.
This is in the context of the guy who was complaining "As a high school kid with a penchant for overthinking simple instructions, I have had many teachers in the past take off points for stuff like this". I am guessing if you have a habit of doing this you are not doing a good job of reading the context and thinking about what the teacher is asking.
magnora7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see, thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding.
Gypsyarados ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:14:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the only people who shouldn't be criticised for overthinking are people who can't help it, e.g. people with autism, who read things literally, etc.
path411 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except a lot of teachers like to say stupid things all the time like "MAKE SURE YOU READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST!!!". Then you read the instructions and get points off for it?
Gypsyarados ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me an example of how you would lose points because of reading the instructions, and using context clues?
Scarletfapper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:30:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God that took me far too long to figure out...
tonsilpuncher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in college.
Metro42014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go into software development.
I was that kid. That skill is incredibly useful for a software developer.
altbekannt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you work already? If so, you would know they do it for a reason. You can't afford mistakes like that in the corporate world without looking like a retard.
MexicanMouthwash ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 04:28:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is gonna be a programmer when he's older.
ITouchMyselfAtNight ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 05:14:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 05:44:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cutelyaware ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:17:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you care. I've spent a silly amount of time thinking about the best names, and I'm convinced that it's worth it. It makes me so happy when I feel that I've really nailed one.
clothespinned ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 06:49:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probablyWontUseThisVarLater = 3
//you definitely needed to use this later
FatalWarthog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
forgot your semicolon
curious_kitten_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:04:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, that could have been e.g. Python code. You don't need semicolons there and that's just one of the reasons why Python is awesome!
cosinus25 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"//" is a
CC++ or Java Style CommentEdit: C uses "/* */", "//" is a shortcut in C++.
-Piper- ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might also be javascript! That doesn't require a semicolon.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just waiting for the holy war to commence. Semicolons are for people who don't understand the parsing rules yet get messed up by them just as much as those who don't use semicolons. The only case where it seems that ASI is really weird is when you start a line with a
[, but who does that?!curious_kitten_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, you're right. I forgot the comment.
CareerRejection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steel_Shield ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to the C ansi compiler standard our professor makes us use, it's actually C++ style. This compiler does not accept these comments.
cosinus25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I only use C++, but I always thought C uses the same comments.
Steel_Shield ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can use them in more recent versions of the compiler, it's just this compiler is outdated.
yacob_uk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's bad python. PEP 8. No camel case. Also, not python. Octothorpe comments out not double slash.
clothespinned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The error checker woulda caught it
hellofellowstudents ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CTRL H or CTRL F
nawkuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:%s master race. Or just use a decent IDE with refactoring commands.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While that's true, it's not quite what I was getting at. I'm talking about things like particular class and method names. You know what a class contains or what a method does, but what to call them so that others will correctly guess those things?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, OK. I don't know how to turn it into a convention though. I just keep thinking about it for a long time until a good name comes to me.
Verneff ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In some programming languages, they start at 0. in others language they start at 1. Good luck.
magnora7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And sometimes it even changes within one language, depending on what data structure you use exactly. Good luck."
magnora7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cache_invalidation
Doesnt seem that hard
Also, hilarious joke
PRMan99 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Off by one errors start young, eh?
[deleted] ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 05:10:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not an error. It's a logical result of poorly attributed modifier. That's the client's fault.
KamenDozer ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:22:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy programs.
PhoInTheMorning ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:37:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see nothing wrong with that, programmers count starting from zero.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He could be many other things. Solely the fact that he interprets a question wrongly, does not have anything to do with his career or job in the future.
Kukuxupunku ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You see, you are both wrong. The joke was that the kid thought the following nu.ber would have to be spelled out (4 follows 3, 16 follows 15 and so on). What OP said about the kid growing up to be a programmer is only sensible, if we believe the kid thought number 3 is the fourth digit could ring up from 0, as it is practice in many programming languages. Hence the usage of the infamous 'on-off error' by other posters replying to OP.
To sum up: the kid didn't interpret anything wrong, the teacher Fraser his question unnecessarily complicated. OP made a joke about the on-off error, and you didn't understand neither the original joke, nor OPs jokingly answer to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He isn't interpreting it wrongly.
DanaKaZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes he is.
Null_Reference_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a joke...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:43:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I assumed he was serious.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checks out.
firewerx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a computer.
En_lighten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THERE ARE NO COMPUTERS HERE, ONLY US
FLESH SACSHUMANS! COMPUTERS DO NOT HAVE SUFFICIENT PROCESSING POWER TO BE SENTIENT, HAHA! WE SHOULD NOT WORRY ABOUT SENTIENT MACHINES, NOT ONEBYTEBIT! SILLY FELLOW HUMAN.dontal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or won't be.
Metro42014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abso-fucking-lultely.
I could always guess at what they were trying to ask, but I could only ever answer the question they actually (if unintentionally) asked.
It was always crappy during school, but it works out really well if you're a programmer!
Notthegoodchina ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 04:24:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a better assignment, it's both a math and spelling lesson. The kid just wants to be challenged.
enemawatson ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 05:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say he's doing a good job.
BlissnHilltopSentry ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:40:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the kid can spell out 22 and 16, I'd hope he can plus one pretty easily.
Girlinhat ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 04:01:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he displayed the ability to write longhand, so good going.
GiantRobotTRex ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 04:46:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAD TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THIS COMMENT TO GET THE FUCKING JOKE
ricobirch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:04:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok dude.
You're not alone.
tannimfodder ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:12:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's literally going above and beyond the call of duty right there.
Frontporchtreat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kids buying the DLC one might even say.
PM-ME-SEXY-CHEESE ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 04:15:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What cheeky cunt I love it.
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 04:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Australian!
enemawatson ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 05:06:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
หษฅsแดสแดษนq sแด uษษฏ สษษฅส หoฦษ sษนษวส สสววษฅษ ฦuแดสษs pวddoสs สllษnสษษ suษแดlษษนสsnษ วส
trollin_zebra ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:05:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow!
enemawatson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:01:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great Job!
Midataur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:49 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow!
PM-ME-SEXY-CHEESE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm american bucko
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/madlads
philip1201 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 09:40:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3: fifteen
15: twenty-one
21: null
Alpha3031 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the page number?
rk-imn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:45 on April 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
undefined*
bloody_duck ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:25:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would make sure his home life is okay. That's a troubling scenario. This kid is obviously already a dad.
[deleted] ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 04:09:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
[deleted] ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 04:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The numbers he wrote in letters are one larger than the numbers written with numerals thus they are "the following numbers."
Ducky602 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 04:16:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. So obvious I missed it. :)
DarkOmen597 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't get it.....
Ofa20 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He spelled out the "following" numbers (AKA: the number that comes after the number shown).
The assignment was trying to get the student to write "3" as "Three", "15" as "Fifteen", and so on. However, the student interpreted the directions in an alternative method, while technically still being correct. It ends up being a play on words.
DarkOmen597 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got it!
See, I would have done the same thing as this kid. I take things too literal sometimes =/
TheYellowDog ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 04:26:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet it took you forever to understand.
Xogmaster ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:28:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's called autism, folks.
Gurusto ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could also theoretically be a non-native English speaker. Following meaning two different things that are still similar can be confusing. Threw me off for a bit at first.
But in this case? Yeah. Probably autism.
Garrod_Ran ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, he just doesn't the same brand of humor as we do.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:42:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just said he would probably do something after it took two different people to explain to him what was even happening.
Thanatologic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:20:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was confused because he also thought that the kid was following instructions properly (i.e. he misinterpreted the instructions, too).
yourlocalking ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck would you do that as a kid if you barely understand it now lol
Ofa20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad to help!
demuni ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:10:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like misinterpreted since "the following numbers" in this case literally means "the numbers that follow these instructions."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only to the narrow minded can it not mean either.
DraxThDstryr ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:16:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tfw a child is more clever than you.
magnora7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:44:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Children are more clever than adults, in many ways
DarkOmen597 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao... for reals.
Scoriae ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For each number listed, he wrote, in letters, the number that follows it.
DarkOmen597 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:20:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, wasn't that what he was supposed to do though... wait... ok.. I get it now.. derp
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still confused. I'm sorry for being so stupid. It's my dyscalculia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The numbers he wrote "follow" the original numbers. It's a play on what it means to write down following numbers. Four follows three, sixteen follows fifteen, twenty two follows twenty one.
Nutcup ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't feel bad, as I'm down here looking for an answer myself. Once I found it, I realized I'm stoned off the Mary and feeling stupid.
Quajek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Stoned off the Mary"
That's a fun expression. Where are you from?
Nutcup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Midwest, my friend.
JasonDJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write (the following) numbers in (all letters).
He wrote the number which follows the number given in all letters. He took a very literal interpretation of the rules.
See this programmer joke:
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.
tenderlobotomy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:49:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3: III
15: XV
21: XXI
Quajek ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:21:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3: IV 15: XVI 21: XXII
Ekudar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are not in full letter, those are in Roman Numerals...which are full letters at the end fuck.
brolix ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:36:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, thank you so much for giving him full credit. He clearly demonstrated the intent of the assignment-- writing out the intended number-- he just used different numbers. Be it in jest or by misinterpreting the instructions, he accomplished the right goal.
I was always a B/C student because other teachers were not so forgiving.
moleratical ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:53:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the kid didn't misinterpret the assignment at all, the directions were ambiguous.
Burgdorf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a bad question. Key words being "following numbers" like following 3 comes 4 sorta thing
PRMan99 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why most straight A students are 120 IQ. 140 IQs don't stand a chance with instructions like this.
TheGreatTempenstein ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't realize common sense and effective use of context clues scaled inversely with IQ.
I agree he should have been given credit for an ambiguous question, but c'mon with that. I guarantee all the other kids did it the intended way, and it's not because they're dumb.
jivow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:04:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the OP didn't say anything about being dumb. He said that being too intelligent (both 120 and 140 is above average) may give you trouble in the school because you overthink a lot of things. And you're required to follow spirit of the instruction.
In this case I think it is equally possible that the kid just wanted to be funny or that the kid took some time thinking what he actually is required to do and choosing the harder version because ot is a test, they should be challenging and it is stressed to follow the instructions exactly.
Quajek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not even "overthinking".
He read the instructions and carried them out precisely.
The problem was that the instructions were not intended to be carried out precisely; they were intended to be carried out as the writer intended. It was likely that this was the child's first interpretation of the ambiguously-worded question.
BernieEffingSanders ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:41:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamverysmart
singsinthashower ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:03:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes definitely that's how it works
banjowashisnameo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:39:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is also why IQ is not generally co-related with success in real life.
arnedh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you get if you subtract 7 from 61 as many times as you can?
But Sir, I get 54, every time!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a native English speaker, took me a full minute to figure out what this was about.
HeywardH ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:29:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a second. This is clever.
pax1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its quite possible that's just how they interpreted the question. When i was in middle school, there was a question that was labeled 21. 6 and I guess i was supposed to take the square of 6 and I read it as take the square of 21.6
NuancedFlow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rocketbirdie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In case anyone is as slow as myself, he interpreted "following number" as "the number following these ones." So 4 follows 3 etc.
PM_SQL_INJECTION ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats the other interpretation of the following number? I dont get it
TheZech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The numbers follow the question
unwill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought I was in /r/ProgrammerHumor/ and this was a zero-index joke.
Precipiss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Destined to be an engineer.
JohnLegendary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That too me too long to figure out. Funny kid.
DlaFunkee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is where SAT/GRE/MCAT questions/responses enter the danger zone. Paging Dr. Loggins.
gee_cee0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted because you gave him full points!
dafinsrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tbh that's a very poorly written question. I would have been very confused lol. There's a chance he wasn't even being cheeky and actually interpreted it that way.
banjowashisnameo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:38:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Following numbers mean - the numbers after this sentence. In order for it to be the way the kid interpreted it, it should have been worded - Write the numbers which follow the below numbers
Khrimian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has it on paper!
32withnothingtodo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did know his numbers!
princhester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is freakin' clever and the kid was totally correct.
naivemarky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same mistake when I was 8. First time I heard "following". After the first number "1", I wrote "two, three, four" and than asked the teacher how many numbers is enough
Wuggerups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats so cute lol
and69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kids take things sooo literal
lynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband, as a child, was given a placement test for kindergarten. The person administering the test was perplexed at how he confidently gave the wrong answer for the name of every letter...until his mother pointed out that he'd named the following letter for every single one.
gelinrefira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seem like a computer programming problem too.
onetwenty_db ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Streetlamp LeMoose
wataha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found a coder!
JohnWilkesPhonebooth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I..uhhhh...my friend doesn't get it. Explain?
Kodoish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did that once and that question alone counted Like 60% of the exam.. Didn't get points from that at all, wasn't fun
drromancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I am using this!
273Gaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it
TrueVerthandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid's a goddamn genius, well deserved the full marks
chipstastegood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I'm slow. What's the joke
yadoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the comments, ffs
vickstruse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If somebody here still didn't get it. Here's the explanation. The assignment was "Write the following numbers in all letters". So the question was to actually meant to write the numbers mentioned below in letters which is for eg: 3: three etc. But the really really genius kid ( I mean literally ) took the literal sense of the question to answer the following numbers ( next number ) in letters. I did take quite a long to figure this out but once I figured it, I was in such awe for this kid.
razumdarsayswhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Why are all of those incremented by one?" stares "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Joshthecreator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it??
yadoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10+ people have already explained in the comments
Joshthecreator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im just trolling. If you want people to stop asking. Explain in your edit instead of bitching.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get the joke, but I don't get what he was supposed to do. Write them in all letters?
MrSoapAd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to read that over again to understand, haha.
owaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me 2 minutes,damn
Wannibal_ze_1st ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once. Didn't get the points though.
Ohaiv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this kid is me because I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Took me a minute...
teerude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:12 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool he got full points, I hope you also went back to explain the correct meaning
lucideus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he really hyphenate twenty-two?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a moment. Bright kid, it sounds like!
dadofanaspieartist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my kid would have prob done the same thing ! aspies rule !!
EarthNoMore ยท 10937 points ยท Posted at 00:00:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach and coach baseball. After our short stop got thrown out on second for the third out,I told someone to "pick up Will", in baseball terms meaning get his glove and hat so he can go out to the field.
This kid who was new to baseball, a big lineman type football player, claps his hands and goes "it's okay Will, you'll get them next time."
I cried laughing.
Edit: Will was the name of the short stop. The kid who "picked him up" was genuinely being nice and thoughtful, but coming from this big intimidating kid it was really funny.
as41 ยท 2850 points ยท Posted at 01:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, similar thing happened in an intrasquad scrimmage with my high school team a couple days ago. Our coach told this kid Sam to "pick up Jacob."
Sam, who is both the worst player and the funniest player on our team (we call him the bench captain), says "that's weird but okay," walks up to Jacob, literally picks him up, and carries him all the way out to left field where he's playing.
phoenix616 ยท 1989 points ยท Posted at 02:19:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually expected op's story to go this way.
goblue142 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:47:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As soon as he said lineman I expected Will to be physically separated from the ground.
thegreatmumbojumbo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
iwaspeachykeen ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:11:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it made it way funny to me that it ended so differently than I expected
seacaptaincory ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same
bruiseyed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:55:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's so pure
Dob-is-Hella-Rad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:27:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was funnier because it looked like it would go that way and then didn't imo
nimbleTrumpagator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:57:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when he mentions how big the other kid was in the story.
Fivefooteightgiant ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:52:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your coach let you have fun? That's a new one...
hitlerosexual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cries internally
Maenad_Dryad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was expecting to read in the OP
pletentious_asshore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid should join the military. He'd do great.
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 1593 points ยท Posted at 00:51:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I played baseball for 18 years and never once heard the phrase 'pick up Will.'
Edit: Guys I get it. You replace Will with someone's name. I've heard people say 'pick me up.' I thought OP was saying that everyone said 'pick up Will' when they wanted someone to grab their gear.
Edit 2: I had a brain fart everyone. Nothing to see here. I figured it out as soon as I posted my comment. Thanks for all the help!
EarthNoMore ยท 328 points ยท Posted at 01:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will was the name of the player. Idk maybe it's a local thing.
arobtheknob ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:35:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean "pick up, Will" as in you were telling Will to pick up?
burkechrs1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:47:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
arobtheknob ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:48:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the redditors above misinterpreted it as "pick up will" will being an object they should pick up. English is hard.
Butta_Butta_Jam ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:55:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never played baseball and never heard anything like this.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Will's pretty common in all English speaking regions.
BigCaT31 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:13:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's at shortstop?
lMYMl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:46:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, who's on first.
Dexaan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a damn
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, he's not.
PartyOfSpecialThings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, we always used it as in " he fucked up, your time to try and fix his mistake "
Paddy_Tanninger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who was the shortstop?
theultimatemadness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wilson gloves
NoNeedForAName ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:31:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We use it where I live. Not, "pick up Will", but "pick up [player's name]". To pick a player up means to take their glove and hat to them in the field.
I'm really not sure if you're joking about the fact that "Will" is included, or if you're being serious.
Bobby_Joe_90 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:11:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you didn't play with enough Wills
djwright14 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:12:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't play with anyone named Will either....
Bigfops ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell it's a name because "Will" is capitalized. Capitalization is is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got it. I didn't realize it was a name when I originally commented but I did realize my mistake. Just replace Will with anyone's name and you're golden.
FreakAndy4u ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:23:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you Will off a horse?
Pahnage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is like the Abbott and Costello routine "who's on first".
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite routines actually!
Broddit5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea never in my baseball career have I heard that term used in that context. To me "Pick up will" would mean Will just messed up and ended the inning, go out there score some runs if at bat or get three quick outs if you're in the field
ethanfez45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usually from what I have heard is something like "Get his glove"
rn10950 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you mean you had a brain toot?
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is meta. Is it?
rn10950 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5zezar/teachers_of_reddit_whats_the_funniest_answer/dexusx6/
albinoeinstein ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A brain toot, we aren't savages.
moloizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He really should have put the second quotation mark between "up" and "Will".
PM_UR_HAIRY_MUFF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play it again, Sam
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing and was thoroughly confused
georgehimself ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard it the way you did. You are not alone.
gravy_ferry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no dude, they meant it like "pick up <name>" not "pick up will" so you know you pick up for the person whos name was called.
Kaell311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:00:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was surprised to learn there was a guy in the team named Will. And thought this coincidence was what made it funny. Like "fire at will".
Rawr_im_black_jesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never have either, but it might make more sense if the phrase is "pick up (insert name here)"
EarthNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you cal ripken jr
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never said I was pro Kappa. I was actually considering my tee-ball years in that as well. Don't tell anyone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
secrets safe with me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gawd almighty
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my reaction
Viking042900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're killing me smalls.
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happens to the best of us! :D
SoTheyDontFindOut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay u/Hunt_Gatsby, you'll get them next time!
anitadick69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We simply said "get my shit"
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edits be funnier every time you add 'em.
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people are still telling me what OP meant :D
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Hahahahahaha! Awesome shit!
obavijest ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit 3: no really I'm still here okay guys edit 4: still here guys thanks again Edit 5: eating some Mac n cheese reading front page now what'd up with you guys Edit 6: bored of fp anyone share some dank memes Edit 7: I was just joking about the dank memes lol I'm not serious Edit 8: OMG gold? Edit 9: no srsly guys what was that for how do I use gold? Edit 10: gonna take a nap now, I'll see yall soon BRB
LiveaMas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:34:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it is more of "pick up, will"
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Hunt_Gatsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
csl512 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:06:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fire at will!
RIP Riker
IthacanPenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's eat grandma!
(As opposed to "let's eat, grandma. Going for same idea here)
TreeBaron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They totally should have had Data do that on accident sometime.
SayWhoToTheWhat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:52:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard this term. And I come from a huge baseball family!
miamiflashfan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup played baseball through high school level and never once heard that. Maybe it's regional.
toomuchtestosterone9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was definitely used a lot throughout my time in high school baseball. Fucking position players needing to be picked up man. Thepitcheronlylifeisthebest!!!
qscguk1 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/wholesomememes
IthacanPenny ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:44:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is AMAZING! I laughed so hard I peed a little XD
On a somewhat related note, in high school we had an all school assembly (~300 girls). A teacher was speaking, uses the word "vociferously". The following ensues...
Student (raising hand): What does vociferously mean?
Teacher: Loud!
Student: WHAT DOES VOCIFEROUSLY MEAN??!?
dunkster91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the big guy going in on short stop named "I DON'T CARE"?
EarthNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a darn
StoneballsJackson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best one in this thread. Made me laugh.
CATXNC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love it.
It works on so many levels. I'm convinced this kid has a hidden wit that would put some the best to shame.
CocaTrooper42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the trenches of a war:
Officer: Fire at will!
Private: Which one is he, sir?
THE_LURKER__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's on first?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid question, I've never played sports in my life. Is there a difference between teaching and coaching a team? Is teaching exclusively the basics and coaching is getting ready competitively? I always assumed they were terms that (more or less) could be used interchangeably.
miamiflashfan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:37:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he meant:
I think he just mentioned that he also teaches because the original question asked for teachers of reddit. But yeah, no one says "I teach baseball".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feel like an idiot, that makes perfect sense. Thanks, stranger
EarthNoMore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school, and coach baseball and soccer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, someone else pointed that out. Still feel like an idiot. It was a funny story though, despite my ignorance =)
Unclesam1313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My baseball coach has used the phrase "pick up..." in both the terms that you meant and the terms that the kid understood it, all depending on the context. However, the "encourage him" meaning is usually reserved for a bench that's gone silent behind a struggling pitcher, so it's easy top tell the difference.
all_teh_sandwiches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was expecting a pick-up line
ArchmageIlmryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was expecting Will to literally be lifted off the ground.
pitchindpp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was honestly expecting him to either hit on Will or physically lift him up.
wingardiumlevi-no-sa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so wholesome omg
sillyribbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting the big lineman to literally pick him up and carry him ๐ฌ
IM_WORTHLESS_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being out of school for so long I had to think about the fact that you're the PE Teacher AND baseball coach.
I was like, "teaching and coaching ARE THE SAME THING!" /facepalm
EarthNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach history
SYhapless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When "picking someone up" we also got their gear or sunglasses for them but it also meant to make a great play to fix the fuck up.
ex. First basemen boots an easy pick from the third basemen. Coach "pick up ---" or "pick it up." Centerfielder lays out for a liner and gets the team out of the inning. Coach and teammates "good work." Or sometimes picking someone up meant that you gave them some words of encouragement after they messed up, so in your case the big kid did something that makes complete sense to me. But it is funny coming from a big lineman football player.
Flopmind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You teach baseball?
gogolplexian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never heard of theoretical baseball?
StrawberryK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"teach and coach baseball" played it into high school...they are in the same don't get too high and mighty.
EarthNoMore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, and I coach Soccer and Baseball...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mission failed, we'll get em next time.
ReallyForeverAlone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/wholesomestories
jlumsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's on first?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the dude was actually going to physically pick him up, after you talked up his size and everything.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It always amazes me how sports terminology often sounds like an alien language. I know exactly what all those words mean and yet simultaneously have no idea what any of those words man.
lapret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between teaching and coaching baseball?
joshi38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever that kid is, is an awesome team player.
jdhall010 ยท 7413 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to teach anatomy:
"Anthony, name this bone."
'Uhh femur.'
"Is it a left femur or a right femur?"
'Yeah.'
Hoot_Toot ยท 6047 points ยท Posted at 01:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony, name this bone."
'Frederick.'
totallypandacoffee ยท 1194 points ยท Posted at 02:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's where I thought it was gonna go.
"Hmmm....looks like a George to me."
Mekaista ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's Fred. George is dead. Honestly woman, you call yourself our mother.
Cranial_Cracker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:48:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedhogwarts
daverockstar ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:42:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. Frederick + George. Fred + George
Too soon.
totallypandacoffee ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a huge Harry Potter fan I am disappointed to say that was completely unintentional.
Or perhaps HP is so ingrained into my head that I saw Fred and it was immediately associated.
backwardsbloom ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's gotta be George; Fred is 6 feet under.
CocaTrooper42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedhogwarts
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's a "bad" bone.
backwardsbloom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<sorry I spammed you. My phone blows>
JayGarrick11929 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"or a Lenny."
The_Magus_199 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Colette, name this bone."
"I like, 'Poochie'!"
Xenochrist999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thus Spiders Georg was given a name.
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an IT tech who regularly needs to ask users for their computers name, this level of hilarity is not lost on me.
Pun_In_Ten_Did ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:15:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony, name this bone."
"Ken"
EpicLegendX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh the Ken Bone, the best bone in your body.
Hates_escalators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all the best bone in your body on this blessed day.
Hates_escalators ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Froderick Frankensteen
vettes_4-ever ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's going to be very popular!
vrrrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:35:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fronkensteen
Cyrekt_Stattrak ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:41:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I almost pissed myself Idk why... Have an up vote
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you have to go potty, stop, and go right away. Flush, and wash, and be on your way.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first day in organic chemistry class, the prof was going over basic hydrocarbons, starting with the simplest and moving up. On the fourth one, he pointed to me and said, "Name?" I said, "Uh, remotellama13." He burst out laughing, and said "Well, most of us call it propane."
Toxicitor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Propane has 3 carbon, how was that fourth?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, it's been 34 years, I miscounted.
jaxxon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah.. that was humorous. Really tickled my funny bone!
Powzor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or, for modern references..
'Ken.'
I_love_pillows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume the bone's gender
AtticSquirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony can we be fucking serious for once. Come on man, god damn."
Ijustdontgiveaduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh Lou ?
Crimson_Raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm...looks more like a Smith to me.
Trogdorocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Kenneth."
deepwatermako ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Walter.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
greeneggsnhammy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me cry from laughing so hard.
Flatulent_Flamingo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i laughed way too hard at this
Tyler1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bones. James Bones.
s1ravarice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typical J-Answer
Buffthebaldy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had that once in an exam, "name these parts of the cell". Apparently Barry and Simon isn't right.
mongster_03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony, name this bone."
"Boney McBoneface."
2Brothers_TheMovie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leonard Bernstein
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interviewer: "What do you call that haircut?"
George Harrison: "Arthur."
finbar17 ยท 1047 points ยท Posted at 23:31:06 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted it to be a zoology class and have him say, Uhh that's a lemur.
KarmicPasta ยท 722 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is it a left lemur or a right lemur?"
"Yes."
right_in_two ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:31:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the lemur's leg had a growth? Could have been a lemur femur tumor.
scharfes_S ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard about that. The lemur femur tumour rumour.
SpatiallyRendering ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is truly lemur femur tumor rumor humor.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:18:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This chain is putting me in a lemur femur tumour rumour humour stupor
lphaas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't mind, I'll just call you lemur-femur-tumor-rumor-humor-stupor Cooper.
Crimson_Raven ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a lemur femur tumour rumour humour stupor Cooper party-pooper.
honkerman1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if the lemur had a fever?
Lemur fever femur tumour rumour humour stupor Cooper party-pooper
Crimson_Raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you have to leave 'er
Leave 'er fever Lemur femour tumour rumour humour stupor Cooper party-pooper
BestFriendHasLeprosy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:00:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it was a female lemur could you double team 'er?
sharklops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lemur? I hardly KNOW 'ur!
zupernam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a left lemur femur tumor or a right lemur femur tumor?
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:57:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if it was a story about a joke in a wildlife park in Peru? Could have been a Peru zoo Lima lemur femur tumour humour rumour.
cuckingfomputer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Lemurs don't subscribe to political ideologies, Ms. /u/jdhall010"
UserApproaches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
bostonbearjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yoshi Tatsu ftw
cambiro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are lemurs like sidehill gougers?
Hates_escalators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just have a rare type of ambilemurousness.
Bad-Badger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Is it a left lemur, or a right lemur?"
"Shoot, I don't know what his political leanings are."
AmbiguousYes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm here, what did I miss
paraouji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well, it hates abortion but it loves socialized medicine, so it's a tough call
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Left shark or right shark?
Myotherdumbname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a lemur femur
Mysta02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an African or European lemur?
papanada ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 00:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What grade?
PH25804 ยท 437 points ยท Posted at 01:06:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
CertifiedCoffeeDrunk ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:22:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Anthony
GFan2000 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But is it a right Anthony or a left Anthony?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:50:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expression of agreement.
Death_Soup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The location of Anthony is known.
Crimson_Raven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
Speedswiper ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:49:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a valid answer.
Billybobsatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
Ccubed02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
E it is then.
dippyfreshdawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MY MAN!
DaTigerMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha he did the thing
NarejED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My man!
jdhall010 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:12:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th.
papanada ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh nvm bc this sounded almost identical to something i once said
StayPuffGoomba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:37:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C-
Purdaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both.
radioactivetreefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Left
grammerenthusiast ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:50:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always answers either-or questions with a yes.
Is it annoying or endearing?
Yes.
vmullapudi1 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't specify xor instead of inclusive or. Found the closet cs student.
ErikTheRedpoint ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:39:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Left femur xor right femur would also be a yes. Femur's can't be both
Isildun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the real cs student.
nikkitgirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep in R it would be femur[femur == c("left", "right")]
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:17:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony, name this bone."
'Uhhhh... Ken."
advancedcss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post really meets my energy needs while remaining environmentally friendly.
admiral_pants ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:23:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the bar, had a trivia question that was something like, "The femur is the longest bone in the human body. What is the second longest?"
I really wanted to say "the other femur" but my team wouldn't go for it.
Fist-Is-A-Verb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would have got a bonus point in the trivia I go to for humour and creativity.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this time last year in class when I was doodling/day dreaming during science class, and the teacher called my name, and I casually answered "yes" to the question not really listening. He said "wrong" and I said "no?" and the class started laughing. At this point I stopped and looked up and he said it wasn't a yes or no question, he was asking me to explain the thing we were learning that day.
FuzzyWazzyWasnt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I am missing something. Since the body is always referenced to the anatomical point of view (the patients point of view)
_ThereWillBeCake_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:48:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The joke is that the answer "yes" is technically correct. There's a difference between the inclusive OR and the exclusive XOR.
Is it a right or a left femur? Well, yes, it's certainly one of them.
GonnaRideIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that two people have made the same XOR mistake in these replies.
Peter_Griffin33 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:27:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fires energy beam into their chest
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in calculus class when the professor was teaching about saddle points. She asked (rhetorically), "Is this a minimum or a maximum?" And I said, "Yep!" and the class chuckled.
ZephyrWarrior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll like programming.
monopolyporko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future redditor!
electricmaster23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be a redditor.
ur_meme_is_bad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future programmer
iwishihadmorecharact ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
boolean logic
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the leg it's in.
loversalibi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"anthony, name this bone."
"um it looks like a travis to me"
GreenTNT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher does that if you ask him a stupid question.
cwdickinson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anthony, name this bone" "Uhhh, Ken"
youseeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted him to say "uh okay... Dave."
kalethan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The philosophy major in me is so happy right now.
frankieisbestcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone completely incapable of distinguishing left and right, good Lord. My nightmare.
Classified0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate this so much. Whenever I have to email an HR department they answer questions like this. If I put an or in a question, I want you to pick one of my two options, not just say yes.
A_Filthy_Mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that is a correct answer.
ThereIsBearCum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'd fit in well on reddit.
TheLibertinistic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, a budding symbolic logician.
aspbergerinparadise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
future programmer
Mongobly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy will be perfect as a software developer.
Squidbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering the thread you posted this in, I bet it was the right femur since it couldn't be the wrong femur
Jfelt45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my math teacher. Didn't care if you used a pen or a pencil, so when someone asked, "can we use a pen or a pencil for this test?" He'd just respond, "Yes."
Aqua-Lad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My German teacher would always answer yes to either or questions. Technically one of them is correct, so "yes" is a valid response
BloodBride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
well it clearly wasn't a funny bone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AcrobaticPirouettes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Trope
jefferlewpew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In med school we use pre-dissected cadavers and a work book where we had to label anatomical features that had lettered pins in them. When we were doing the overview of the GI system, my friend thought the sigmoid colon was called the semi-colon
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he not know left from right?
MarvelousComment ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:21:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he did, the teacher asked if it was a left or right femur, it was a left or right femur
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:41:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I'm unbelievably dense sometimes.
MarvelousComment ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dense people never admit to their mistakes
pseudo_selected ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it is not a left femur and a right femur.
EtherealShrub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence the word "or"
pseudo_selected ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, both statements resolve to "true".
frankenfien99 ยท 3277 points ยท Posted at 00:16:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My godfather is a lobster fisherman, and all of the kids in the family would go out on the boat with him from time to time. There was a running joke with my uncle, dad and godfather. They would get a kid to bait a trap, then applaud them for being a "Master Baiter." My cousin went back to school after summer vacation and when the teacher asked what she did that summer she proudly stated " I became a Master Baiter!"
secondhandkid ยท 283 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know how the teacher reacted so badly.
frankenfien99 ยท 350 points ยท Posted at 03:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She called my aunt and uncle to ask them what was up. My cousin was so embarassed she cried and wouldn't go to school the next day.
secondhandkid ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:28:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too funny. Their face would have been priceless!
frankenfien99 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 03:49:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparentley the teacher was not impressed. Gave my uncle a good scolding over the phone. My cousin would have been 10 or 11 at the time that it was explained to her.
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 03:52:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What, an 11 year old not getting a masturbation joke?
frankenfien99 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:00:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in the mid to late 90s and she was a pretty sheltered kid.
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 04:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I don't like that much
When I have kids by the time they're 11 they'd better be making the best masturbation jokes in the neighbourhood or I'll disown them
Heavenlypigeon ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sorry son that was about a 6/10. hit the streets
AgoraphobicHiker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it said "disclown" them at first...Sir, are you a clown whose specialty is masturbation jokes?
Evning ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:32:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Sorry but i thought you meant to say "by the time they are 11 they better be masturbators!"
I expect mine to start round the age of 11-12
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, you want to be a normal modern parent
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah pretty much, I hope
Gameguru08 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:35:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Utah. I had to GOOGLE what masturbation was finally.
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I'm so sorry
Gameguru08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. It's alright. It's what I get for being born in a Bible belt state.
A lot of the sex ed education has been available online.
Majikkani_Hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:16 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have google. I had to look it up in the dictionary. Not as helpful as you might think.
Gameguru08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:11 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow thats actually worse. That blows man.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 12:25:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gameguru08 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:31:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not exaggerating. My parents didn't tell me. My sex ed sure as hell didn't tell me.
metroshake ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:59:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, she was 11 when it was explained
[deleted] ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 01:10:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one I've read yet
247world ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated summa cum loudly
Keebler172 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:45:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated Valhalla Dick Tor:E an nobody appreciated the asinine speech I gave on how to gain power and respect through toilet cleaning.
CaliGalOMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the Luuuuv Masters Degree
randarrow ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure lobster man kids have all sorts of stories. Eg, CPS called after kids report eating roaches.
Thisishugh ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember there was a bait shop in Connecticut named "Master Bait & Tackle".
Master Bait & Tackle
veroniraptor182 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's one in Ohio somewhere called the Happy Hooker. It's pretty much the only good thing about driving through Ohio
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:54:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lobsterman is a word.
teh_maxh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a terrible superhero.
Xenochrist999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:33:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The relatives of the crab people.
cooprid1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:05:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this as "My godfather is a Lobster-Fishman"
Doll_Girl ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:19:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a music teacher with the last name Bates that didn't like to be called Mister. He insisted that everyone call him Master. So everyone called him Master Bates.
OzNTM ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher at my school had the last name Behan, when she fell pregnant, we all insisted she call the kid Les.
Derf_Jagged ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such is life on Karamja.
censerless ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:39:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just realised this joke works better in an American accent.
Luvagoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does too!
idi0tf0wl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As opposed to what?
censerless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian.
CaliGalOMG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mister Bites"?
PuttingTheBaeInBacon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:02:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a fishing trip when we were fairly young, my brother loudly declared "wow, uncle James, you're a real Master Baiter!!" Years later, they told him the story and my brother would get so red!
burnadebt10000 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to help run a leadership camp for young people and one of the activities we did you help with public speaking was a debate that all 30 of them participated in.
We called it The Mass Debate and they were all Mass Debaters.
It was always fun explaining that activity...
Mg1221 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, But can she hail a 90kg projectile say, 300m?
TinCanBegger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make this reference in league
lydocia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he ever threaten you will sleep with the lobsters if you don't behave?
ExpressCornet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "My godfather was a lobster fishman", i was very confused
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that reminded me of my Grandad. More specifically, of when he died and my parents had to go register the death. My dad was understandably upset, (they hadn't been on the best terms, but family is family), and my Mum was there for moral support. Anyway, they're going through the forms, and it requires a profession. So my dad tells the lady filling in the form 'Baker', since that was the job he'd mostly done. The lady then says 'was he a master baker?' at which point my mum has to take over for about 3 or 4 minutes because my dad is desperately trying not to collapse laughing in the middle of registering his own father's death.
slytherinwitchbitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:55 on April 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I jisy got the joke haha
Jake0024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend in college named Bader, everybody called him Master.
gelinrefira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the first time I heard the word and thought it is "Masterbeder." Confused the hell out of me.
LonleyViolist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay I first read that as "lobster freshman" and was very confused.
Bloody_hood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Master Bait and Tackle in Bonita Springs FL. Look it up, it's real. You see people with their bumper stickers sometimes
TheRagingTypist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why, but my brain hit this like a textual speedbump
Spazmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 6 we had a supply teacher named Mr. Baiter. Really, with a name like that you cannot go into teaching.
LetItOutBoy ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is terrible.
alwaysdownvoted2hell ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:23:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious.
SexBadgersaurus ยท 7521 points ยท Posted at 00:44:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but just a witness to this hilarity. In science class in high school our teacher was talking about electricity and lightning and the effects of being electrocuted. He asked if anyone happened to know what is the first sense you lose when struck by lightning. Without missing a beat, a girl put her hand up and answered in all honesty, "your sense of humor?"
Class had to stop for a few minutes until everyone could regain their composure.
Edit: apparently, electrocution specifically refers to death by electricity so in the future when I tell this story, I will remember to refer to it being "shocked".
IsntSheLovelyUhNoIug ยท 2194 points ยท Posted at 01:19:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously though,what's the first sense you lose?
SexBadgersaurus ยท 3245 points ยท Posted at 01:29:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's your sense of hearing.
boyferret ยท 2389 points ยท Posted at 01:42:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh?
SaorAlba138 ยท 4020 points ยท Posted at 02:07:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S YOUR SENSE OF HEARING.
Starrystars ยท 3149 points ยท Posted at 02:09:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop typing so loud. I lost hearing not my seeing.
dippyfreshdawg ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 03:01:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
SeanTheTranslator ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 03:13:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
STOP TYPING SO LOUD!
roflpotamus ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 03:14:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! What are you guys typing about in here!?
SeanTheTranslator ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 03:14:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
MrCIAMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, type louder, I can't hear you.
ptahk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HE SAID NOTHING
EmberordofFire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
ptahk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HE SAID N O T H I N G
GwaanPwaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
huh?
SeanTheTranslator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing
Howzieky ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CHAWCLATE
roflpotamus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
roflpotamus screams like a little girl and flees in terror, failing completely to sell an overly eager Howzieky chocolate
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:35:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOW DID YOU GET YOUR FONT BIG?
Edit: #got it
SeanTheTranslator ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:35:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just put a pound sign in front of it. That's all you have to do.
-obliviouscommenter- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chubbsw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thats cool
CAN YOU COMBINE
SWEET
theflyingneko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
testing :))
Also, how do you write in a tiny font?
Edit: #HOLLY CRBAS IT'S WORKING!!!
ptahk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
use a ^ in front of what you type
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ptahk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oops, you're right. Sorry.
JTorch1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put a carrot before each word.
pinkbutterfly1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you only need one pointy thing
Jordaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, drove to pound town and got fucked.
JasonDJ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't take a joke? What, were you struck by lightning or something?
Jordaneer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Bonsee ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:10:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god! My sense of seeing is my favourite.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got your grade 10 too, Bubs?
fatboy93 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:26:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cherry MX blues masterrace incoming.
TheEpicKiller ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:13:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like MX browns
fatboy93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Works for me :p
TheEpicKiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
diamondburned ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:43:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
charlie_soup ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:02:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.. sight
darkslide3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He probably also lost some of his braining in the process...
ObsceneGlabella ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You also lose your other senses. hearing just goes first.
diamondburned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Applesnackle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing about me is, I'm better at hiding... than they are... at vision
drawnred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats only the FIRST sense you lost
Trey5169 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:45:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You obviously have lost both, if you didn't see that coming.
haxon42 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:00:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're being loud, SHUT UP FOR-E-BAH.
Luckyfire101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BE QUIET FOREBAH.
ScrotumPotion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"One sec... maaaaaawp "
TheSpathi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut op foreba!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please stop yelling, im very fragile
NoobuchadnezaR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up forever!
zomgarth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be quiet, please.
CrispyonFire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.
Rocktamus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who said that?
covetthyneighbor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard at this. Thank you.
Chotzark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch, my earballs!
SynisterBaconLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?!
Mahhp... Mahhhp!
drromancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read that as if someone was actually yelling??
Breezy_Eh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MAWP
logarithmyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I heard you, it was just really mean.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extensive searing?
lacucamatada ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wot
PlsWai ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:46:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrification
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:18:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tarnation
PM-ME-STEAM_KEYS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are
Lastshadow94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:20:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You
Gamerologists ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing
lphaas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker?
kbobdc3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
Hilbrohampton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In
LaserGuidedNuke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing
schugana123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doing
LaserGuidedNuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In
LaserGuidedNuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My
LaserGuidedNuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swamp
ratsta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents were out walking one day and saw a new shop being outfitted. My mum asked one of the guys what kind of shop it was and he said "A hearing-aid shop".
My mum is a little hard of hearing but refuses to admit it. She asked "A what?"
Apparently the guy scowled, thinking that she was taking the piss :)
DarryToTheContrary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're selling chocolates!
ButtsexEurope ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A big loud boom from the Lightning will blow out your eardrums.
hexane360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HUH?
boxster_ ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:39:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
skyler_on_the_moon ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:11:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thunder is loud, even normally. Now imagine that instead of the thunder being a mile away, it's six inches from your ear.
boxster_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:15:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That should have been obvious to me, thank you.
AlbinoMoose ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the light is faster
life_questions ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Myself and wife and dog were trying to get back in our house after a walk before a thunderstorm hit. I was opening the door as lightning hit an old satellite antenna that is on the roof of our place we're renting. Feet away from us.
I can tell you it's super bright, but you can't hear shit for a bit. It's so loud it knocks you down. Lightning is crazy
ThatDudeShadowK ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:33:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're generally not looking right at the bolt and the flash is quick
Sokorai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About a year ago some dude drove me home with his car. Nearing our destination we got into a pretty heavy rainstorm. It was quite a downpour but nothing too crass and the lightning looked awesome as it webbed across the clouds.
Well until it struck a few meters in front of us into some random bush. Couldn't see shit for a good few seconds
elpajaroquemamais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a negligible difference in their arrival wh they are close
crespoh69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true isn't it? It should give you enough time to cover your ears when you see it. I'll keep this in mind for when it happens
MutantCreature ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure that's true? I would've assumed it's like when you run phantom power through a ribbon mic and it causes the ribbon to pop, basically running electricity through your body could just pop your eardrums. Like I said I don't know if that's true or not, but even if you were really close I wouldn't think that thunder would be loud enough to completely destroy your eardrum.
joker38 ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But lightning isn't.
That wasn't said.
TexasThrowDown ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:40:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M8 u Kno what makes thunder rite?
joker38 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being struck by lightning doesn't make the thunder near your ear. Bolts travel some distance.
Nextra ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:10:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lightning bolts produce the sound in the first place. Look it up.
joker38 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know. But at the place of origin, not of impact.
HoboMasterJCP ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:21:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's the electricity cutting through the air that makes the sound. The reason it's so loud is that it's happening along the entire length of the bolt. It's not like something snaps up in the cloud and then the bolts drops down. What you're hearing is the air becoming superheated as the lightning passes through.
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
Still, I imagine the effect must be weaker farther away from the origin, cause the branches of a bolt get thinner and should also get cooled down a bit compared to the origin.
HoboMasterJCP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not significantly. The smaller branches can quiet it down somewhat, but you have to remember that it's not something hot falling from the sky, it's an electrical charge passing through. There is (roughly) the same amount of electricity at the end as the beginning (minus some loss for resistance I imagine, but not a lot), so even if it is spread out, it is still the same total and is likely still mostly in the same area. Electricity finds the most efficient route to ground and it will pretty much all drop to the same point. Also, there is no heat in itself, there is only electricity which causes the heat.
It will be quieter, but still plenty loud to rupture your eardrums.
TL;DR: electricity is bizarre.
LowlySlayer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thunder is caused by the rapid change in temperature caused by the bolt, meaning the thunder would occur across the entire bolt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obtuse.
joker38 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speechless, huh? Luckily, not everyone was speechless towards me. And I appreciate that.
el_muerte17 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:37:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emphasis added for effect.
tjsr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:08:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine a few million volts superheating air to create a vacuum, then that vaccum rapidly filling up with air. That creates a massive pressure wave - which you hear as thunder - right next to your ears which are sensitive to tiny pressure waves to let you hear normal sounds. Your ears don't deal with that too well.
I_dont-get_the-joke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that?
IcarianSkies ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pressure wave (thunder) is sufficient to burst your eardrums if you're struck.
cambiro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of twenty thousand million volts going through my body.
Red-Droid-Blue-Droid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know why hearing goes first? Maybe ELi5 because my last anatomy class was high school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the question is addressing how light travels faster than sound, so if the lightning both made you lose your vision and hearing, you would lose your vision first.
mada447 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm already deaf, so what's the first sense I'd lose?
Silver_Yuki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:05 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think your sense of time would skew before your hearing, with everything going on that is a lot of adrenaline... Interesting though nonetheless.
Teuthex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? From experience I'd have said vision.
Malcolm_TurnbullPM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual question: wouldn't it be sight because of the flash/speed of light thing?
badmother ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:54:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say your sense of direction, sense of mortality, eyesight and many other senses would be affected long before the full crack of thunder hits your ears.
fundudeonacracker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was taste. You lose your sense of taste upon electrocution.
NotYourAverageTomBoy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:08:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would think smell.
EpicLives7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:37:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sense of life
RustDragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you buy the theory that humans can at some level sense magnetic fields (like we know other animals can), probably that.
joshbadams ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sense of being alive.
timrs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sense of calm?
what_a_bug ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:44:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I initially read this as the benefits of getting electrocuted...
DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aka not being gay anymore /s
xNexx_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:29:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God Pence
BananaNutJob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As it turns out, electroshock therapy only gets people to stop being gay if it kills them, which I'm sure the VP already understands.
forgetfulcoder ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:03:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I get it.
hi_im_trying_to_trip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A survivor
Entropy_Sucks ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:09:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck is that technically correct?
classecrified ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dis dude got electrocuted
hitlerosexual ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:22:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean depending on the strength of the current it could kill you, thus ending your sense of humor.
everythingsleeps ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:01:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You try getting electrocuted then let me know if you find it funny.
AgentElman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:47:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except for the kid who'd been struck by lightning and didn't hear what she said.
ab-Owen ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:54:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI: "...effects of being [shocked]..."
The only effect of being electrocuted is death.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:24:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically you also wouldn't be able to hear.
UrsulaMajor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:51:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From wiktionary:
And from the Oxford dictionary:
Edit:
Their usage of the word is a common variant and no one was confused by it. Splitting hairs over definitions when no one was actually confused is needlessly pedantic.
crockid5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:41:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pedants will be pedants...
Dottie-Minerva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shallow and pedantic...
BoltmanLocke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a bunch of people have not died after being struck by lightning. They just smell a bit crispy.
DerBoy_DerG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrocution is lethal by definition.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:12:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Objection: no it is not. A lot of people seem to want the definition to be death by electricity, but insisting something repeatedly does not make it so.
ab-Owen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other way around. Language is fluid (both good and bad) and I get that, but formally the etymology is a blend of electricity and execution. So a bunch of people that don't know how to speak good 'insisted repeatedly' on not knowing the proper definitions made it so.
Rock_Me-Amadeus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As my link explains, while the word's etymology is literally as you describe, the new word was quickly adopted to mean "suffered electric shock" and "died from electric shock". If you're going to be that pedantic and insist that the word can only mean what its two parent words mean when combined (execute and electricity) then the usage "died from electrical shock" is ALSO inaccurate, since "died" and "executed" are not synonymous.
ab-Owen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed with everything you said except the fact of people insisting it means only death. I am saying it is the other way around it meant only death and other people insisted on its meaning be more. And I don't think that was an intentional expansion of meaning but by ignorance.
Your link explains it and yes you are correct the words it came from do mean that literally.
Lastshadow94 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is unrelated, but your username is a real roller coaster of a read.
mlkelty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing a lightning strike? Time for Lisa Esterman to ride again!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrocution means death by electric shock. I dated a safety inspector for a while. This is all I learned from that relationship.
XFadedFoil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:35:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
electrocute |iหlektrษหkyoอot| verb [ with obj. ] injure or kill someone by electric shock: a man was electrocuted when he switched on the Christmas tree lights.
So don't worry, it also refers to injury as well.
TotalFreedom420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you die...
Teuthex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't confirm. Was hit by lightning, was laughing about it almost immediately.
ThatBelligerentSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if it were ancient Greece it wouldn't be an absurd answer.
TheAmishMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In regards to your edit, because so many people say electrocuted when they mean shocked, I believe the definition changed. It no longer requires the victim to die
erfling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrocution used to only refer to death, but it's meaning has shifted and the only way to be actually wrong about it is to insist that something other than usage creates meaning.
BenAreLamb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't only side effects of being electrocuted, death? That's what electrocuted means.
SillyFlyGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you ever ask this question?
HerrLoki ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:38:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would marry that girl :) .
PM_ME_MEMES_OR_CARS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher but
ReddishWedding2018 ยท 11125 points ยท Posted at 23:12:46 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same kid on the same quiz:
Q. Describe the bus ride at the beginning of the chapter.
A. It was a bus ride filled with action, but also with emotion.
Q. What happens at the end of the story?
A. The story ends.
Kid's going to be a politician someday.
[deleted] ยท 630 points ยท Posted at 02:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am telling you this bus ride was the best bus ride I've ever had! Listen to me! Listen! People come to me and say 'Have you ever had any bus ride like this?' and I honestly say to them 'No, that is the most incredible bus ride ever!' Just amazing."
doorbellguy ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
''The other bus ride is FAKE. This is the real deal. They are fake.''
GUYS_PM_ME_YOUR_DOGS ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SAD!
ILikeMultis ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:36:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/AlwaysSpeakLikeTrump
Woofiny ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:49:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Disappointing click of the day.
ILikeMultis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:58:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corrected link
Woofiny ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:20:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way less disappointing!
Eucatari ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:41:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BING BING BING!
oalbrecht ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:04:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WRONG!
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:18:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I read that in the voice of JonTron. Huh...
MADatfries ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like sales tactics. Hmmm...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Magic school bus or Alec Baldwin's character, Parker, on friends.
ILikeMultis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/AlwaysSpeakLikeTrump
WhatItDoOvenJew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yuge
spacemanspiff30 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:37:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was sixth grade. Our English teacher assigned each of us to write a story based on one of the characters in a painting. Randomly assigned people. I got the lady with one leg on crutches who was talking to another lady.
So of course my story was told from the perspective of the woman's inner monolog.
"Why does she always talk to me? She knows I hate her, but she just won't stop. God I wish I could kick her right now."
Basically stuff like that, though I remember it still because of the kick her line. Whole class burst out and teacher stopped me from reading any more. He so stopped calling on me the rest of the year, so win win.
ReddishWedding2018 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:58:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, as a teacher, I both love assigning this kind of writing prompt and would have loved to hear your story.
spacemanspiff30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish we all had teachers like you
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:19:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tannimfodder ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:19:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A: Events that occur after the beginning but before the end.
MercuryMadHatter ยท 924 points ยท Posted at 01:52:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade, my teacher was given a six week vacation, so we had a sub and all these silly "quizzes" each day about the book we were reading, Animal Farm. The last two questions were "what do you think will happen in next chapter" and "in the end". I eventually got tired of writing it and said '"They're all going to die" over and over. She came back and laughed and said "well your not wrong..."
Edit: fuck you guys really care about grammer. I'm sorry.
Down2Earth ยท 1260 points ยท Posted at 02:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were wrong twice!
Clydefrogredrobin ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 03:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey his 9th grade English teacher was given a 6 week "vacation", that kid didn't learn shit for at least an entire year.
HotSauce2910 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:56:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could have been related to a pregnancy.
DeathByFarts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given the way it was written ... I would put my money on rehab.
innitgrand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was quoting his answer exactly. The kid was in 9th grade, give him a break.
JSpoderChild ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:51:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He clearly didn't learn anything from English in highschool....
_Personage ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, at least he's consistent!
Sold_My_Potential ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:34:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing he failed 9th grade English.
Inshresting ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:19:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you got him way to go high five to the max!
Hubbli_Bubbli ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:31:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude ewe got hymn whey two go hi five too the macks!
FTFY
Joba_Fett ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In other news, a local man was found dead in his home last night. Apparently he collapsed shortly after reading something on the internet which caused what doctors are calling "an aneurism so massive it was recently believed to be impossible." It is unknown what information the lethal sentence contained that led to this fatal injury."
Cobbleking32486 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homynyms: theirs know too wheys a bout it.
Hubbli_Bubbli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
their's
--LOOKATME-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was the teacher who was wrong the second time.
Althuror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internal cringe
TrueVerthandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the grammar nazi!
clubswithseals ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐๐
Hates_escalators ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 02:37:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't you hear pterodactyls going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Why can't you hear pterodactyls going to the bathroom? Because they're all dead.
Toxicitor ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Top 10 dinosaur train fantheories
DJRockstar1 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess you shoulda had more of those silly quizzes.
MercuryMadHatter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:41:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We only had the quizzes because my teacher had to "go on vacation" last minute. When really, there was a troubled student in our class who use to push her buttons all the time, and one day, when she kicked him out, he started screaming at her. It escalated, he pushed her, so she started whopping his ass. It was a strange sight cuz he was almost two feet taller than her. But the minute she pushed him back and said "Your momma's gonna take out the leather for this!" He looked terrified.
The security guard was stationed near our class, so she only got a few licks in. The boy was suspended and sent to a behavioral school. The teacher was suspended for six weeks. This kid was really a pain and had been causing problems for months, so they were understanding of her snapping.
quitethequietdomino ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:31:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Animal Farm is not a book, Lana! Itโs an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell, and spoiler alert, IT SUCKS!
MercuryMadHatter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best response. Thank you. I'm starting my day off the right way now.
Realhuman221 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:25:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to be 'that guy' but you are wrong because you used 'their' instead of 'they're'.
throw6539 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:55:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And your instead of you're. I don't think the literary exposure "took" so to speak....
MercuryMadHatter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:44:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not sorry, and you're not the only one. And it's fine.
ButtsexEurope ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:13:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*they're
*you're
NameUnbroken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:11:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took you 6 weeks to read Animal Farm?
MercuryMadHatter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:33:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were only allowed to read it in class, we were not allowed to take the books with us. I'm surprised we had books to read at all. When we read "To Kill a Mockingbird" all we had were print outs of important parts to read.
Rayne37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you eventually got to read the whole book? Books aren't just for important plot points. If you cut out the descriptions and smaller interactions you lose the feel of the book, and the enjoyment of another place.
Sorry just the idea of reading a book in print out partial form hurts my heart. What was that school thinking?
MercuryMadHatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't read it fully unfortunately. It's on my list. And the school was thinking that it couldn't afford real books. I went to a school that was on a list of top ten worst county School systems when I went there.
sageleee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:48:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*They're
greenpeppers100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just finished reading Animal Farm in grade 10, I found the book online and read it in a couple hours over a weekend, far before the class got it. Lets just say, it wasn't my favorite book.
MercuryMadHatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was not mine either. I get why it's considered a great book, I just don't care enough about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MercuryMadHatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never said I was smart- just a smart ass
litening_larrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuck napoleon
Pardoism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't? Frasier was fucking awesome, bro
MercuryMadHatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the worst with grammer.
i_wanted_to_say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What teacher takes a 6 week vacation in the middle of the school year? Sounds like your teacher went to rehab.
MercuryMadHatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said it in another comment but:
We only had the quizzes because my teacher had to "go on vacation" last minute. When really, there was a troubled student in our class who use to push her buttons all the time, and one day, when she kicked him out, he started screaming at her. It escalated, he pushed her, so she started whopping his ass. It was a strange sight cuz he was almost two feet taller than her. But the minute she pushed him back and said "Your momma's gonna take out the leather for this!" He looked terrified.
The security guard was stationed near our class, so she only got a few licks in. The boy was suspended and sent to a behavioral school. The teacher was suspended for six weeks. This kid was really a pain and had been causing problems for months, so they were understanding of her snapping.
gfyhue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, you guys really care about grammar
OR
Fuck you, guys (everyone on the internet is male) really care about grammar
MercuryMadHatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't assume my grammer preferences. Maybe I wanted to slurr my words. You don't knoooowww me
glovebino75 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 5th grade, instead of taking quizzes, our teacher would have us write our own quizzes with an answer key. So we would have to write 10 short answer and 10 long answer questions, etc.
Well I thought I was so smart one time because for my long answers, I wrote "Answers may vary." The following week, the teacher had added an explicit "Answers May Vary is not an acceptable answer."
DBREEZE223 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:30:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How big are his hands?
crzy_wizard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:01:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually reminds me almost 4 years ago during my 10th year of school (out of 11 in my country) when we had a quiz about a book I didn't read and the teacher asked for the reason why a character got depressed when he went to jail and I actually answer something like: is there anyone who enjoys being there?
Okaaran ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What went wrong with the boat? 'Well the fron fell off. I'd like to say that that is NOT normal'
Mc_Squeebs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:25:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand the politician part way more than I'd like to now.
brotherenigma ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:34:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you absolutely sure that kid wasn't related to Trump somehow?
ReddishWedding2018 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:41:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely not-- he was too smart, too brown, and too concise.
vondafkossum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explains Butler's Speech Sounds to a T, I tell ya.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you guys read a novelization of "Speed"?
shikitohno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been "After the First Death," though I found it kind of boring when I read it in middle school.
Rexel-Dervent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or "The Horror Bus", except that would have been ironic with such a teacher.
Neuroleino ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The front falls off.
Oo0o8o0oO ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he didn't read that book.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So much action, folks, I tell ya.
Toxicitor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jobs and growth.
Redhavok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think a lot of teachers realize kids have senses of humor. We used to put stupid answers on lots of our tests, or during classes, and draw pictures on them and stuff.
thecraudestopper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My maths teacher tried to give us a test on the last day of year nine. "But Ms Shithead, it's the last day. The other maths class is playing games. you can't grade us on this because we already have our reports."
"Do the test anyway, and I expect you to maintain test conditions."
So we all say there and quietly filled in our tests. I believe I wrote a long review on the 6th Harry Potter book, and drew a picture of a horse. Something like that.
ArrowRobber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q1 : He's essentially describing the color of the bus when the question is asking about the contents.
Q2 : He's answered 'yes' to a long form question.
You have to answer these questions properly earlier in your career if you hope to give 'politician' grade answers later.
bobbybob188 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which book was it?
ReddishWedding2018 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was the short story Ysrael by Junot Diaz. :)
killermoose25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Troy Barnes voice from community and it works well
Typed01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a good guy. I noticed at a young age some teachers have an amazing tallent to pivot answers so that kids are not afraid to answer even if they are wrong. And most don't bother. Good on ya.
Edit- or gal
ReddishWedding2018 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:45:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! I always tell the kids I prefer an outlandish guess to a blank space because there's a minuscule chance they'll be correct. This kid was technically correct and made me realize I needed to ask for specific details.
KuntaStillSingle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steinbeck's The Wayward Bus?
HeywardH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or coaching the New England Patriots.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a stand-up.
kobachi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a sports reporter.
letsgobruins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid has read one too many Billy Mumphry stories.
ocean365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit this whole thread is golden
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mosquito land?
elementgermanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the time of writing you have exactly 9001 upvotes. Congrats, Goku.
grandzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bus ride had unbridled enthusiasm
SkrublordPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story ends and I AT NO POINT HAD CONTACT WITH THE RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT
this_is_balls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you see Mrs. Jones, I used alternate facts to answer question #9."
Jotebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was that Ted Cruz?
thirteenoranges ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Incorrect use of the conjunction "but."
HeywardH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless action implies lack of emotion.
Shostakovich22 ยท 7526 points ยท Posted at 22:30:02 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have posted about this before. I am not a teacher, but my wife is an elementary school teacher.
The kids were practicing their twos times tables and the question said something along the lines of, "John lives in his house with his mom, dad, brother, and grandpa. How many total hands do the people in John's house have all together?" The answer they were looking for was 10 and they wanted the students to show that 2ร5=10. This young man instead wrote, "Not enough information. What if someone lost a hand?"
He wasn't wrong. My wife just wrote, "Good thinking" on his assignment and gave him full credit. The kid was bright and knew his times tables, so that wasn't an issue. She also had his older brother as a student and said they were both smart, but jokesters. My wife now teaches kindergarten (this was when she taught 3rd grade) and said she misses the funny responses on test. She used to have a full word document of the funniest answers.
Edit: Apparently my use of "full word document" isn't correct. Y'all can stop messaging me about that. She had a word document of crazy things kids have said over the years. I don't think she has it anymore.
78723 ยท 1904 points ยท Posted at 00:56:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awwww a baby lawyer.
Vandechoz ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 02:36:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or at least a pedantic redditor
IM_NOT_CIA ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:53:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing.
EpicLegendX ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:59:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all armchair lawyers on this blessed day.
DrDapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough information. What if someone lost an arm?
bexyrex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*shallow and pedantic
FTFY
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we consider that a tautology?
LogicalEmotion7 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we need to pair him with a regular lawyer. It's tough to get places with those baby legs.
woodwalker700 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:49:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this as Linda from Bob's Burgers.
Juan-Juan-Juanton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, same!
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:23:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She must've taught Miles Edgeworth.
Coded_Lyoko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes with Edgeworth? Hell nah
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that's true.
ServalSpots ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the PC term is a Rosemary's baby
Alexisokay ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:51:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lawlette.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you almost never see one in the wild anymore! most baby lawyers are bred in captivity!
JoeBidenshomeboy93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd watch that show
brisa117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. This reminds me of this one kid in my law school class who had one of those window signs that said "baby shark onboard"
IStillLikeChieftain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill it before it achieves its final form!
babyrhino ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a future mathematician
Stylux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joke is on her. We can't do math for shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stylux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah billing in 10ths is hard!
devildoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too much pressure.
spacemanspiff30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Civil defense lawyer at that.
Sibire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:11 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill it before it spreads
alexandhisworld ยท 515 points ยท Posted at 22:42:23 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Share it!
xmann277 ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 01:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh please please please
bfp1104 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:13:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deliever OP!
Romejanic ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:15:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op please deliver
AaronDeath ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 02:17:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING if you arrange the words please deliver and op in any order IT MAKES SENSE
MKallDay_ ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:47:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale of 1-Willie Nelson, how high are you right now?
TearsInRainUK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the highs man (๐ อส๐)
PandaLovingLion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice username. Blade Runner?
TearsInRainUK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe :p. Favourite film
PandaLovingLion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:45:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favourites too. Bought the book it's based on for myself for Christmas this year
AngelCarterEllis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:22:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so bad. It's bad because I giggled.
RothXQuasar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win reddit.
Who_Cares99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deliver OP, please. Bring him to us.
rlapchynski ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:17:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please deliver OP
DanieltheMani3l ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:31:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deliver OP, please!
tapkeys ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:32:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please deliver OP
empress_cthulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please Op, deliver!
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP DELIVER
SamuelTheMuso ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please
julianhache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pizza
TenaciousTravesty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:19:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
_x_ ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:34:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still still does. She used to too.
swifchif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subtle Mitch
TheMusketPrince ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedhedberg
rlapchynski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 48 hours
redditosleep ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 2*5 hours
rainjstorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one was clever. I love it.
TheMusketPrince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 24 hours
Southpawe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 48 hours
Ianguy9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Used to
traffick ยท 477 points ยท Posted at 00:15:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh.
SkippyBluestockings ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 01:02:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister taught ESL in a college in north Texas. She would save all of the funny responses that her students gave to test questions and periodically send them out to the rest of the family under "Students Write the Darndest Things." She had quite a few Word documents...
ev0lv ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:32:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you still have access or remember some you should share :)
SkippyBluestockings ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:34:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm sure she has them so I will ask her to send me some. She had international students from all over the world and some of the responses are actually pretty cute and some of them she said she just wanted to write WTF on LOL
MUHAHAHA55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I please get a copy too
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I might have seen one of these on 9GAG a few years ago (when I still browsed 9GAG). I remember a drawing vividly: it carried the phrase "SATAN IZ GRATE" beside a drawing of an old red man with a beard.
SkippyBluestockings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She never posted anything online. She's not into social media of any kind but she would send the documents to her siblings and our parents. We always got a huge kick out of them.
throw6539 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're a family member, so share with us an email please!
DonOntario ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why she had to quit teaching grade 3. She wouldn't have been able to record any more funny things if the kids said them because her Word document was full.
aibaron ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know if I've ever filled a Word document to capacity! That's impressive.
ChezeSammy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:27:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea... That's gotta be huge. Prepostosaurus huge.
w-4-wumbo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bigly huge. Tremendous.
mm4ng ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:40:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She used to but still does.
phantom1942 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I probably might go look for something like it later.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose the size of the document is limited by the hard drive it is on..
Merry_Pippins ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:33:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better start a new one, this one is getting pretty full!
HesSoPringles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Millions of answers
Drendude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's 250 GB, the full size of the hard drive.
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what happened to the OS?
Drendude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It had to be included in the word doc
obvs_an_engineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never filled a word document before? Obviously slacking.
EnthusiasticAnalyst ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally died laughing at "they were looking".
wrychime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:39:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? Why?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:19:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming it's poking fun at the concept of a word document being "full" when in theory you could continue adding pages indefinitely. There may be a limit on file size but who knows what that is.
thegreattober ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It implies the word document is at the actual physical limit of how big it can be, with responses. 32 MB. That's a lot, for just text.
Joshmoredecai ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid holding his girlfriend's hand during a typing assignment and told him he'd type faster with two hands on the keyboard. He told me his mom had one hand and types just fine. Nothing to say to that one.
lannisterstark ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:50:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.
ScottieKills ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedasimov
lannisterstark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sad this isn't a thing. :(
jansencheng ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT ANYMORE.
candygram4mongo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid's got the makings of a mathematician.
dg4f ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:30:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's something Dwight Shrute would say
AlwaysSunnynDEN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was just going to say that.
Rabidwalnut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have failed this. I forgot to take john into account and said 8.
infinitim ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 22:49:25 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you shared this post before? I'm having deja vu.
Shostakovich22 ยท 932 points ยท Posted at 22:53:40 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That's kind of why I started my comment with "I have posted about this before."
-sybilfawlty- ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 22:59:17 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you shared this post before? I'm having deja vu.
[deleted] ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 00:11:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you ever get that feeling of Dรฉjร Vu?
showmeurknuckleball ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:39:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just comment "Do you ever get that feeling of Dรฉjร Vu?"?
I'm getting that feeling of Dรฉjร Vu.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:36:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ENOUGH OF THIS TIME WARP! I'm getting dรฉjร vu all over again!
k_princess ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:50:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's do the Time Warp again!
xXKiller_SquidXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time warp? Im getting Dรฉjร Vu
mongster_03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enough of this, Yogi. It ain't over till it's over. And now it's over.
FallingUpwardz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kms
_i_am_your_dog_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:22:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheers love.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been in this place before? Higher on the street?
I_Main_Random ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:32:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedoverwatch
Thetax128 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The calvary's here?
atticdoor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedjesus
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I win. Then I do!
Hoping someone gets this...
VoidWaIker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's your name baby face?
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next to me you're lazy, babe!
Look I'm flyin'!
VoidWaIker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idc
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How's the weather way down there?
duct_taped_jeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but I often get Vu jร Dรฉ, where it's never happened.
Dr_Spaceman_Adams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring Denzel Washington? Maybe about once or twice a year.
rlapchynski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Dr_Hoffenheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do ya like jazz?
Ricarad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gotcha this time!
RegretDesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IVE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE
ADumbDoor ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:17:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you just been to this place before?
Dontkare ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:24:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Higher on the street!
Blooder91 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:57:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[CHAIN COMMENTING INTENSIFIES]
MacduffFifesNo1Thane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I knooooooww.
derleth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:16 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this font before. Must be Deja Sans.
TheHeartlessCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That's kind of why I started my comment with "I have posted about this before."
Project2r ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you did? But you're not OP...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:01:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough information.
infinitim ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:00:04 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhhh didn't understand that at first
DrippyWaffler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you're feeling rather silly right now.
DonOntario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why male models?
Combustible_Lemon1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've just seen this post before!
ProceedWithLaunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain I've seen this on Facebook. But like the kid mentions people who lose limbs in the war or something
TRHess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a story floating around where the kid writes "visit woundedwarriorproject.org" after his answer. Patriotically and humanly endearing in the best sense if true, but I'm skeptical it actually happened. Never know though.
ProceedWithLaunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's the one I was thinking of
JdPat04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you having Deja Vu?
ExtraCheesyPie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
its a shitty old person meme. Most likely not a real story by OP.
csl512 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Provide your assumptions.
Related, the 'average person' has a little less than one ovary, and a little less than one testicle.
Bananas_say_twats ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:22:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for her, when I did things like request more information to clarify it was always treated with distain. I was legitimately asking though.
It wasn't until like 5 or 6th grade that I finally just started writing the answer I knew they wanted and then adding a little clause about "with what I was given"
Which also landed me in hot water with my nun (my Catholic school had nuns for teachers).
BipedSnowman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My chemistry professor told us to write down any assumptions we made. We were then marked with those assumptions in mind.
(If the assumptions were something we should have known we lost marks, but wouldn't fail the question if the work was correct.)
babyrhino ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my professors would love that kid. Although if it were a test he would require something like: "assuming that all 5 residents of the house are real, and that they each are in possession of an number of hands, that is equal to two, it can be shown that iff all 5 residents are present and there are no other persons or hands that are not in possession of a resident present within the house, it can be shown that the house contains 10 hands."
steeleye5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does she still have a full word document?
kjata ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thirty-seven. Most of them aren't attached to anyone.
The family that serially kills together stays together.
haraaishi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in AP Biology and we were talking about Punnett Squares. The question was "The parents have brown eyes and the child has blue eyes. How did this happen?"
I raised my hand and asked her what color eyes the mailman had.
jejx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should've taught the kid Occam's razor
Sekka3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I've gotta HAND it to the kid, because I was not expecting that.
ZeLoSCrEaToR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RemindMe 48 Hours
mazzicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm higher grades you get ridiculous questions where they overstate the obvious like "they all have the normal expected number of hands with a typical amount of fingers"
L00k_Again ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid sounds like my son. Everyone, even strangers, comment on how smart he is. And I just look exhausted.
whocanduncan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife has a notebook full of student-isms, I guess, as well. They're hilarious!
jansencheng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is yet insufficient data for a meaningful answer.
Toxicitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grandpa survived a landmine in 'nam.
TearsInRainUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marshall?
zehhet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Fair Witnesses from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher should write to give the assumed answer but adress the assumptions underneath
temporubat0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try saying 'twos times tables' really fast 10 times.
oalbrecht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously not an engineer or physicist. He was to assume everyone had two hands. Also, the classroom was in a vacuum and gravity can be estimated as 9.81m/s2 .
Zak_MC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I've seen you post this before!
Killinger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A full word document? Damn, that's a lot. I've only got half of a word document
laihipp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'I'm sorry kid but that's not the answer I have here in my grade book
you've failed and will need to repeat a year'
Classified0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a question on a great that stated that a population of rabbits exponentially grows at a given rate, and asked for the population after a certain amount of time given that you have one rabbit on a particular day. Most people in the class worked out the exponential growth problem, one student answered 1, because rabbits cannot asexually reproduce.
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a little smartass, and when I encountered those questions, I would write "10 unless someone lost a hand".
This continued well into adulthood, when I finally graduated from elementary school.
sericatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid is seriously too smart for his own good. A few times looking at test questions I've thought "I understand this, and I know the truth, but I also wonder if the person writing the test realized that." Sometimes it made test taking more difficult- the scantron is not so understanding as your wife, and few test writers take any time to word questions in a way that's truly unambiguous.
yokaishinigami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the full was just an artifact you carried over from phrases like full book of, or full binder of, etc.
Also pretty sure word documents have a file size limit. So there is a point where the document becomes "full" by contemporary standards.
sir_mrej ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full word doc sounds fine to me
jaulin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In gymnasiet (school at the age of 17-19 in Sweden) we gathered so many hilarious quotes from our class teacher. He was also our physics/maths teacher, and it was so easy to get him to go off on a tangent, making the class fly by. We could mention almost anything from an arbitrary scifi show or documentary, and he'd point out why it was wrong or stupid. He was also pretty old and lonely, and gave zero fucks about how he spoke to us. I think we all both respected and and laughed at him for that. It was sad when he died a year or two after we graduated. The school we went to closed down, and I seriously suspect he had nothing else in his life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.....Pretty sure I read this before.
AmoebaMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zero hands. Carl ate them all.
VehaMeursault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That edit seems to imply that Reddit has some sticklers among themโwho would have thought?
KesselZero ยท 5004 points ยท Posted at 01:24:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a buddy of mine in college, J, who was legendary for his witty responses in class.
J raises his hand, gets called on, says, "Practicing medicine without a license."
The trainer was like, "Uh, yeah, I guess that's true."
J raises his hand, gets called on, says, "Long, awkward silences."
Teacher: "Could you give an example?"
J: "..."
ramsicles ยท 566 points ยท Posted at 03:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
more please
krashlia ยท 315 points ยท Posted at 03:40:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There should be a meme called "J Answers".
LordAres8313 ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 04:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The opposite of a Kevin response, something funny and intelligent.
DFrostedWangsAccount ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/kenm ?
I_have_popcorn ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 08:41:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The responses are hardly intelligent, but they are constructed by an intelligent person.
Kichigai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dolt!
vish_bavs ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:43:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/Jcomebacks
Nonpareil090 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internet, make this a thing please
dessert_all_day ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even though it's not real yet, I subscribed with hopes that they're will be more J stories or stories of other people with witty responses.
Kai_Notice_Me ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:00:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love this.
SlantedSlash ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 04:50:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...
tannimfodder ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:21:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...
HenryTheQuester ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:19:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยทยทยท
FlagstoneSpin ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:31:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clementine will remember that.
barktreep ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:25:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"..."
NonaSuomi282 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:40:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Red, is that you?
AsthmaticNinja ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 03:52:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining the "..." was done while flourishing his hands for emphasis.
Corac42 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 06:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that, but that way it's obvious what you're doing. The real humor comes from making the connection in your head.
Moronoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:45:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what does this mean?
Primer81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:54:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like waving his hands. I imagine he'd be waving his hands towards himself or something to emphasize what he's doing.
Moronoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what is he doing? I'm so confused.
he sits there in silence, why does his hands have to be moving to emphasize what exactly?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Moronoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understand why.
How do you emphasize silence by flourishing? What is flourishing?
I'm not a native speaker.
afellowinfidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly how I imagined it.
maracusdesu ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:50:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a course in Religion, and one part of it was etics & morals.
Our teacher asks us to discuss if it's morally acceptable to raise the price of umbrellas during rainy weather. One guy lifts his hand and says, "that's how you make money so I don't see the problem." Another guy turns to him and says, "Imagine a hungry Jewish person going to the supermarket to buy food, and finding out that all the prices have been raised." to which the first guy counters, "Yeah, uh, a jew would never pay that much to begin with!"
Everyone gasps, and the teacher looks him dead in the eye and says, "<guy>, the Jewish people have been exposed for hundreds of years. Do you really think that is an appropriate thing to say?"
We all look at the guy in silence, until he finally speaks up, "I mean... I think it's about time they get over it."
whole_nother ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:23:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exposed?
TheeBaconKing ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MORE!!!!
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:33:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you remember the scene..I want to do a variation of this joke on my husband
DrunkleDick ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:49:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of older movies had long scenes with a character just driving or doing something mundane. The most recent movie I can think of that has similar scenes is Drive but I honestly don't remember the movie that well.
Xanian123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything by Tarkovsky, Bela Tarr, Pedro Costa, Ingmar Bergman and Michael haneke. There are many, many more but these should do. And yeah, Drive does have a lot of silence.
KesselZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could! This was over ten years ago, sadly. :(
craven183 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Want more J stories
Symphonic_Rainboom ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:02:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now tell us... What are all the things you shouldn't do at a stoplight?
TheFeshy ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 05:27:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stack nearly critical mass blocks of plutonium atop one another.
corset-combat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:11:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Download music illegally
flashpool46 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:41:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The
elpololoco9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only
Luvagoo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:10:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I relish the two second beat that must have ensued before the teacher realised what he was doing.
King_Abdul ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:56:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie the first one doesn't sound that funny it just sounds like someone trying to be 'random' and that
KongRahbek ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:33:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy sounds annoying as fuck in classrooms.
Kichigai ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell were you watching? Neon Genesis Evangelion?
NonaSuomi282 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:42:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, then it would be "obnoxious, angsty whingeing" instead.
An_Average_Lurker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:12:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10/10
Seventh_Planet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is "RA"?
KesselZero ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:43:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An RA is a resident advisor, basically an older student who helps oversee a dorm full of freshmen.
CatManDontDo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or any dorm despite the age of students, at least most schools have RAs in all dorms
notbobby125 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want a numbered list without a risk that reddit will fuck it up, do it like this:
1) Stuff
2) Other stuff
Putting a period after the number is only asking for trouble.
daydreams356 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I love those
littleski5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez that's perfect
just_a_random_dood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anyways, that's how I lost my medical license..."
platoorplaydough ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:52:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me in my US History since 1869 my second year of college:
Professor: What do you guys know about Joan of Arc?
Me: She was the first french fry.
Proessor: ..... No..... (She was trying not to laugh)
Professor: What are some companies like Lockheed (I go to school in Georgia) that get defense contracts from the US government?
Me: Stark Industries.
And my personal favorite-
Professor: Reagan essentially formed the Republican Party into what it is today. What were some groups of people who voted for Reagan who would still vote Republican?
Me: The racists and homophobes.
I did not get to answer any questions the rest of the semester...
darksidedearth ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:43:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First two were great. Last one is why you are getting downvoted.
platoorplaydough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:12 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not saying all Republicans are racists and/or homophobes, but I do believe that the majority of racists and homophobes are Republicans. Most of my friends are Republican, and I know they're not racist or homophobic.
SquidCap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:30:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone knows what RA is. I'm one of them.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:55:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SquidCap ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 10:49:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not every country has a college.. What i mean is that internet is global, i can't use abbreviations that are only used in my country when i'm talking to you, i don't know where you are from. Someone has to remind you guys every now and then that there are 6 billion of us in the planet.
ReadsStuff ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, you can use your abbreviations happily, and people will ask you what they mean. It's a process known as learning.
Also I would gladly wager that there is at least one university in every country in the world. Except the Vatican City.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Universities in the Netherlands don't have 'dorms'. Students live in apartments in town. Often in specially built 'studentenflats', but those are just apartment buildings, only with tiny apartments (my room was 20 m2, IIRC) and with a shared kitchen.
ReadsStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much what halls are in the UK, just a block of flats built on university property. That was essentially what I had in Missouri as well.
A shared kitchen between six people, and then in Missouri it was a two room apartment between two people basically.
I am slightly confused about how that was relevant to my comment though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means that while we do have universities, we don't have any equivalent to a Residential Advisor.
ReadsStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither does the UK as far as I'm aware, despite having a sort of mix between the two living systems. I think the US mostly has RAs as a mediator because of the shared living situation, such as the bedroom. Also cheaper than hiring security staff too.
SquidCap ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 12:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
College != university. A non US person would know this already, hell, we learn this when we start watching american TV..
ReadsStuff ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing I'm not American then. College here (the UK) refers to a specific educational facility from the ages of 16-18. College in pretty much all of North America refers to University. In fact, even some non-North American countries use that term.
We could have avoided this conversation if you explained your definition of college, we live in a global community after all.
nmotsch789 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:13:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you want us to explain every single word or abbreviation we use at all times, because you might not know it? How about, you can try not being lazy, and you can look it up on your own? Or you can politely ask what it means instead of insisting that others are being rude?
SquidCap ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 11:58:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just don't use abbreviations that are only used by one group of people in one country in one age group. You do realize how small in the context of "the planet", the US college graduates who have lived in a dormitory actually is? It takes a bit of effort to see that when you are in the internet, you are ALWAYS at global stage. It is very rude to others.
Do you know what comes up if you type RA in to google? Try it...
So what if the next time you give at least some clues what you are talking about, in case the listeners is NOT exactly the same age/demographic/social status/educational status than you? You know i'm right. Pedantic but right. We have to do the same, all the time.. In a sense, there is only one nationality that automatically expects everyone else to be same and it is not their job to convert measurement units, dates, abbreviations used only in that country etc etc.. Everyone else in the world has to think about cultural differences, why should you have any right or exceptions? If you don't want non-US in your internet, cut the cords to the rest of the world.
We usually let these slide as we would have to seriously follow you guys around and correct mistakes all day long, i do this about once a month; remind someone that they live on Planet Earth, we are all humans and we need to communicate better. Everyone else has conformed but USA, the home of the Exceptional Hominid.
CommanderCubKnuckle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No dude. You're not right. Hence the down votes.
And FYI, if you google "RA" and some context words from the original comment, you'll figure out what it means really fast. Words like "college" or "dorm room" will get you there.
SquidCap ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, i have no care for downvotes and if you think that it is some sort of indication if person is right or wrong, you are deluded.
As always, i have to finally say this: You are one person. Your post is read by thousands. Your solution is that you get away easy and the thousands of people are required to decode your message? When you say that i'm lazy for not googling, you admitting of being equally lazy but the difference is that my laziness affects only me, your laziness affect thousands. Sometimes millions.
Think how your actions propagate and at what point optimization is best done. Should we compress the message and inflate it at use-end or do we do the heavy lifting at our end and offer easy to understand message in it's full form to the recipient. This question becomes stupidly easy when we add that the recipient will be interpreting the message using incomplete set of information.
darksidedearth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:42:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear, if you EVER have kids, dont be surprised to find a tale about you on /r/raisedbynarcissists or whatever the new equivalent may be. You are actually an idiot. Im not going to change my abbreviations because "WAHHH I DONT KNOW IM TOO DUMB TO LOOK UP WHAT RA MEANS WAHHH".
There were plenty of others who were confused, asked politely, and got an answer. You are being full of yourself and need to learn that the world doesnt revolve around you. Should people from the UK stop saying roundabout? Should Aussies never again utter Hungry Jack's?
No.
Shut the hell up, you are not the only person in the world. A majority of people understood what it meant and those who didnt asked and learned it. Stop your moaning and continue on with your life.
SquidCap ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BTW, roundabout is VERY common description for roundabouts. I don't actually even know any other name for it. What is Hungry Jack's? I have never heard about it. BTW, pogoing in provinssi was super fun, don't you think? What? You don't what i'm talking about? Everyone in Finland does. I'm from Finland, and according to your logic, i have no obligation to even consider that this info most likley is know only by couple of million. But it is well big enough portion that i can say that it is common knowledge. Locally common but since i don't have to care at all if the recipient knows hat i'm talking about, miten olis jos vaikka haistasit housujas. What, i'm suppose to use language you know? Not according to you.
I am the only one who bothered, big difference. Facts are that there is significant portion of people who read that comment that did not know what RA was, either didn't care as it is kind of irrelevant (but still mentioned so not irrelevant to you), used context to arrive at some guess or figured it out. But the facts still are that a LARGE portion did NOT receive the full message and that was ONLY because you expected everyone to be murican in this site, as it is with all other websites you visit that are in english and hosted in USA.
How about metric? Ok, i'm just irritating you on purpose and i admit it but dude: your dates are scrbmaled. You don't have any kind of logical standards on measurements. So to me, that only sound like your country wants to be exceptional and does not want to conform in other areas too. So, should you just cut the cord to outside since it doesn't matter to you, at all.. As demonstrated here. You did not think about this before i mentioned and you are angry at me for pointing that out. Deal with it, we are here and we are not going anywhere.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:10:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SquidCap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:30:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do that 999 out of 1000. You are the thousand.
Again, it is NOT dumbing down if a person does not know a cultural reference. There is nothing wrong with my brain or my cognitive functions. There is a gap in my knowledge, gap that is TOTALLY irrelevant to my life in any way. The only ones who need to know this are student in USA and their parents and friends. The moment i have a chance of visiting a dormitory, then i need to know about it.
"or those invested enough in American culture to be browsing reddit " Yup, i told you that this is in behind it all; you feel USA is so exceptional that everyone needs to know about your quirks. And you mistake intelligence with trivia. Think how this thing actually works.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SquidCap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, did you spend a lot of time searching thru my history? Hope you had fun taking things out of context.
darksingularity1 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...
Flopmind ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"..."
CalvinAndHobbesKnow ยท 2987 points ยท Posted at 21:47:32 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/5GjrM
koidivision ยท 534 points ยท Posted at 00:24:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this username checks out.
Another_Solipsist ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:37:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chumble spuzz.
ythet98 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:16:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Carlin
krat0s77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YakKa fรณรณb MoG?
CopernicusPlunger ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 03:35:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also...
Teacher: What state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial
jspenguin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:05:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh... I guess I can't argue with that.
simon12321 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:06:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we make "relevant Calvin and Hobbes" a thing?
TheHeartlessCookie ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 00:25:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frickin one-picture albums why
throw6539 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:46:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you; you now also have to wait for the stupid "Open in app" popover to load before it lets you play a GIF.
Imgur was exactly what reddit needed when it was created, but it's become an unashamed money grab as of late, and i hope it goes away.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HououinKyouma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? It's never done that to me. I upload the image, right click, open in new tab, and it gives a direct image. It's never given me an album before
CAPSLOCK_USERNAME ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the step you're doing that others aren't. If you just upload an image and use the URL the site gives you it'll be an album link. Getting the direct image link takes extra work.
HououinKyouma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it's become so ingrained in me that I never even realised it. Anyway, it makes no sense why they would make it default to an album, aren't the majority of uploads single images anyway?
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it really doesnt, /u/HououinKyouma1 just did some extra steps. rightclicking the image and copying the image location is just as fast as clicking the URL and copying that
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook does it too now.
DiversityThePsycho ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you can curse on here
KingPowers ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 00:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CRUCIO!
Joshmoredecai ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, this is just unforgivable.
Not_My_Supervisor ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:10:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedhogwarts
Badvertisement ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedsubreddit
GymothyCharles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
heh
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DUDE CALM DOWN
TheHeartlessCookie ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I can, I just choose not to. I find it unnecessary and quite impolite.
KarmaDied ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to be something sweet that everyone loves but then admit to being heartless, next to that great crime you're concerned about language?
vish_bavs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:48:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username doesn't check out
FuckerMan011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
then don't swear?
TheHeartlessCookie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:04:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, obviously, I don't swear.
FuckerMan011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just did. You censored one letter but you still swore.
BenKenobi88 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, I know you're FuckerMan and all...but sometimes I think it's funnier to see "frickin" vs "fuckin". He's allowed to say "frickin" gosh dangit.
bombikid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the frick did you just say a bad word? You meanie
TheHeartlessCookie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Fricking" is a euphemism and a great deal less offensive to me than the F-word.
o11c ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think imgur has started to make all uploads be an album now.
beeblez ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:17:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whelp, excuse me, I'm now compelled to read every comment this account has ever posted...
nitrous2401 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:41:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also a daily C&H over at /r/calvinandhobbes
iwouldrun500miles ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:44:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...aaaaand I'm subscribed. Thanks!!
buttbutts ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chumble spuzz.
abushelandapeck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:27:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also when Calvin's teacher asks what state he lives in, and his answer was denial.
IronedSandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:44:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
KalebMW99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this bit!
PM_ME_FURRY_STUFF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made my night. Thank you
AGuyWithAPhone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh, nostalgia.
kalvinandhobbes8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:46:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
amazing
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the science teachers at my school has that one on the wall. Classic.
JesusIsMyZoloft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UCO
Hiti- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the conlanger.
SameWill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you come up with those and how do you find them to link?
[deleted] ยท 3563 points ยท Posted at 21:16:48 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I co teach a class and do a lot of the grading. Kids will write "I love Teacher A" and I'm like hahahaha this is Teacher B, nice try!
angrygradstudent33 ยท 2021 points ยท Posted at 21:19:14 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: "Oh, teacher. You look so handsome today." Me: "Yes, I know, but you still have to take your quiz."
Tato7069 ยท 792 points ยท Posted at 21:33:45 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inner me: come back after class. You're 18, right?
nerdkingdom ยท 656 points ยท Posted at 23:52:00 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
STORY TIME: Had a teacher, let's call him Polly. My friend missed a test, he told her to come in during lunch. So she did, before he gave her the test, she was like, "Mr. Polly, you look SO good today," and started complimenting him. She sent me a picture of her answers so I could check, but I didn't get the text in time. She bombed the test, but stayed afterwards to talk to Mr. Polly. Bitch gets a fucking A on her test.
Rath12 ยท 555 points ยท Posted at 23:55:44 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She did da sex wit polly
nerdkingdom ยท 285 points ยท Posted at 00:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably, even though she was 13, and Polly was in his 40s.
[deleted] ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 01:12:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just makes it even more likely.
LordAres8313 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/cheeseandricereddit
r_plantae ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol subscribed
LordAres8313 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:34:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
98 more subs until they reach their 10k goal for having absolutely no content. Kind of endearing how almost 10k redditors banded together just for a random joke sub with 0 post.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10,100 now
LordAres8313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
IveAlreadyWon ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:21:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really hope that's not true. That's awful
nocturnalis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:42:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/jesuschristreddit
IveAlreadyWon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:50:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm? I don't get this response
IConsumePorn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:15:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Polly wanna crack her
chair_boy ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 00:22:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
teachers would actually give you an opportunity to take a picture of your test? smart phones didnt really become a thing until I was in college, but it was always made clear that even looking at your phone during a test could be considered cheating and you'd fail the exam.
nerdkingdom ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 00:24:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was about a year ago, and some people could just quickly take a picture when the teacher is busy.
theskepticalsquid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:38:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't allow it but kids do it all the time in secret
mythical_legend ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the objective is not to get caught.
Blackjack010 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:12:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Polly got a cracker!
iSevenfold762 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:02:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing happened in my town, except this scum raped a 13 year old.
Jesus-ChreamPious ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but what was her grade?
FennlyXerxich ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm not mistaken, considering her age, likely 8th or 9th grade.
GroriousNipponSteer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:25:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
grade on the classwork
Kustav ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:53:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she definitely got at least a D
iSevenfold762 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:26:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure, that's a good question though. Probably good.
Master_GaryQ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She white?
Did Polly want a cracker?
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes, she was white
PM_Me_A_Dare ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO. nooo. no. That's terrible.
moose_testes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:55:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. When I was in 8th grade my Lit teacher gave me a B+ (88/100) on a project that I never turned in. I always wondered whether she just cut me a break as an otherwise exemplary student, or if she mixed up my score with someone else's.
PM_Me_A_Dare ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:01:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care about the fact that she got a free pass. I care about how he let her manipulate him like that.
moose_testes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:02:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Point is you don't know he was manipulated.
slightlyamused1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why pretty girls get to be in their twenties and have a fucking existential crisis because now they're expected to be smart and independent and have it all because they are pretty- when they've been handed everything on a silver platter. All of the while having no idea how the world really works. TBH w you I went through this. I am twenty five and when I don't get my way I literally stamp my feet. I'm awful. I cannot tell you how many times I have laid on the floor bawling my eyes out because I'm so upset. I have the sense to do it alone and pick myself up but I can't help but do it because I have always gotten my way, so initially the shock is so real I'm just overwhelmed.
bplboston17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
their were these pretty girls in my college lit class, the professor was like 70 or 80 years old and every class they would flirt with him and ask him about his grandchildren and suck up to him, i guarantee they got an A or B in the class even though they were both fucking stupid as hell..
slightlyamused1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually super super happy this never happened to me. My friends and I would joke about a hard class like 'can't I just suck his dick lol' but I only had one prof hit on me and it was after the class was over. I still got a c so clearly I didn't get off easy! All others as well I was always one to take advantage of office hours both TAs and profs- and they were all very professional and helped me w no other intentions. It's actually kind of demeaning when they do- makes you feel that's all your worth.
stef4x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh damn. That's pretty bad. I know a couple of girls who get everything handed to them, they aren't in their mid twenties yet, and honestly even though it might be a little mean, I will laugh at them, if they throw a tantrum at that age. I sincerly hope you'll manage, but at the same time screw you for having a nice life handed to you all the way to your mid twenties. As long as you are trying to improve yourself and learn how to be a better human it's all good though. Don't just continue being a stubborn spoiled lil' shit.
slightlyamused1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, my post was a lil dramatic as I tend to be. And yours was a bit harsh and assuming. I never said I was spoiled. Far from it, I have lived alone since I was 15 and never really knew my dad nor spoke unless he was wiring me money for the groceries I was buying myself at 15. He was my only parent. I explicitly said I don't throw tantrums in public. I suppose it's also not necessarily when things 'don't go my way'. It is when something bad happens, but as I said, if in emotional about it I will cry- and hard. Which is a bit of my personality because my mother died so I know what true pain feels like. At some point I hope you learn to attempt to understand others points of view, rather than reading one post that doesn't encompass them as a whole at all- and attack their entire being. That surely has never made progress. So I can give you the same suggestion you gave me- just try to be a better person.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
slightlyamused1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:17 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on who you are and who you choose to surround yourself w.
QuePastaLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Polly got the cracker
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spit out my Pepsi
chewish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where abouts was this? I had a mr Polly who was an absolute creep
nerdkingdom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oklahoma
chewish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I live in England so there's that fucked haha
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:55:42 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You look at them
angrygradstudent33 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:07:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught middle school and boys and girls would say this. There was no flirtatious intention and it was always said to be funny, phony flattery if you will, not a genuine attempt to influence me.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:10:06 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inner you is still the teacher, right?
Allons-why ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:35:32 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
vortexcat74 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student: Miss So-and-so, you always look so beautiful! Me: Student, that's nice of you to say... what did you do?
Demolisher314 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:01:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they are 7, Im 7.
Actionmaths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your (wet) dream last night?
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amateurs. Obviously you compliment both teachers.
i_amtheonewhomocks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you should be renamed totoroscbstle
motsanciens ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry they don't like you :(
Nerdican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if they know you're grading and just want to crush your self esteem?
Nun01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:04:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this has nothing to do with the question
enjoyscaestus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What grade?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
11.
redditRW ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 03:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not especially funny, but I've thought about it for a long time afterwards.
I was substituting for an elementary ESL class. There was one young boy from Africa. We asked the kids in the class what three wishes they would like, if they could have anything.
This young man said:
1) New Shoes for my mother.
2) School all year.
3) Roast chicken for dinner.
Most of the other wishes had to do with toys or candy. This kid was focused.
Leldy22 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 12:57:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'M NOT SAD, YOU ARE
Urdaris_Nox ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 13:58:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IM NOT CRYING, IM CUTTING ONION
C21H27Cl3N2O3 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To go with the roast chicken?
AnotherWhiteMexican ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:05:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DO YOU HAVE TO CUT THE ONIONS RIGHT NEXT TO ME?
Lyrtil ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not as tragic as OP's story, but this reminds me of my little brother. One day at his school every kid of his class had to write what they wished for on a poster. He wrote, "I wish cafeteria prices were lower."
SerFruityBooty ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:50:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GIVE THAT BOY A ROAST CHICKEN DAMNIT
WorkLemming ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:59:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roast chicken is the bomb, way better than candy. Now I need to pick up a roast chicken from the store on my way home from work.
okff ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:59:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gorgeous and lovely and I promise I'm not crying.
Ohaiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:41:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will stick with me for a while...
[deleted] ยท 4295 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AlwaysSupport ยท 3018 points ยท Posted at 21:39:40 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hormone
Harass
Bangkok
Uranus
Dictator
Vhftb ยท 1832 points ยท Posted at 23:41:26 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you always carry around a list of seemingly suggestive compound words with you?
mordeci00 ยท 757 points ยท Posted at 02:03:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has won this thread, it's time to succumb.
your_evil_ex ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:24:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After seeing puns so bad, im going to have to see a therapist
l3alance ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:28:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damnit. Take all the upvotes
DontTreadOnBigfoot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:07:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FFFFFUUUUUuuuuuuu.......
loftizle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Therapist?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst, actually.
loftizle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giddy up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
fireork12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S U C C
HippieAlbino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do continue
DeathByFarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thread usually refers to the entire discussion. This commentator may have won this 'fork' , but not the entire thread.
holdyerplums ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:47:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't?
NicholasGraves ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta support him.
TBones0073 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:32:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dictator? I hardly know her.
Dood567 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's always there for support.
devildoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never know when you might encounter an emergency.
troublecalling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do you not?
daftvalkyrie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always supportive.
durgadas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems obvious that he waited some time for the thread to be just right.
Echotilt588 ยท 520 points ยท Posted at 23:13:29 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assassin
Entity
SiberianToaster ยท 381 points ยท Posted at 23:20:24 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See also: assassinate
Edit: since none of you are apparently very bright, it's ass-ass-in-ate
justfarmingdownvotes ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 00:35:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That tells quite the story
Klyptom ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:25:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 13 I made my gamertag AssAss1naTioN and thought I was pretty clever.
apostasism ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:49:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially for Nate
Hates_escalators ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:34:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't spell slaughter without laughter.
FlyHarvey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/isetmyfriendsonfire is rawr XD'ing
loftizle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't spell manslaughter without man's laughter.
FireSpittinKittenn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name is nate, can confirm^
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:04:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Nate.
SleeplessShitposter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could one rest the case that assassinate is an oxygenated form of assassin
shadowalien13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jfk in the head?
Xaja86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget therapist.
serialmom666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Nate
Muffinmurdurer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking sassy Nate.
finnknit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
buttbuttinate
En-TitY_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ai
Apocalypse487x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Manassas
magzillas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, N. Titty. The world's second-least popular Crash Bandicoot boss.
DRACULA_WOLFMAN ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:20:28 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably an idiot but what are the two words for "Harass?"
dms1298 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:24:27 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her ass
BarryOakTree ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:03:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I thought it was Hair Ass.
showmeurknuckleball ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hairy Asshole if you trace the word to its Anglican origins.
SheeEttin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to trace anyone's hairy asshole.
scottjew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could you use it in a sentence?
theconfuserx2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trumpet
Whopper_Jr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You came up huge for us today! Great work!
Zskills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tatordic
spiral_divergence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
I've never heard an enzyme
SpeedyV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phucket
alpha_akela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brain pictures a dic'tator as rude potato.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ELI5 what a compound word is?
Trump_For_Janitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not related to the thread, but in San Francisco there is a street in the notoriously gay part of town called "Uranus Terrace". I know it's not true... but my brain tells me that's latin for rough gay sex.
hotcaulk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm happy to finally find out I'm not the only one who thinks "penis potato" when they hear the word "dictator."
Moronoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand
koi666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dictator: what you get when you cross a penis with a potato.
i_dreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must git me some o'those dick taters
mybustersword ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how you pronounce Uranus
5ilvrtongue ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Sorry to be a wet blanket, but those are not compound words. Suggestively amusing, but not compound.
JimLahey42 ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 23:46:45 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shampoo.
[deleted] ยท 223 points ยท Posted at 23:47:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was actually an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh named "Sham Pooh". It was about - you guessed it - someone impersonating Pooh Bear
showmeurknuckleball ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 00:34:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't leave us hanging how the fuck did the episode turn out
MachoManShark ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you think you can find out that easily? You're going to have to find the episode and watch it.
showmeurknuckleball ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 01:16:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. I don't wanna spoil anything so I'll link it.
The lone comment on the video is very insightful.
isitreallythateasyon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:09:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good stuff
davidredsox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:36:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the fact that I can stare into an abyss while watching Winnie the Pooh at the same time.
Kashburn1337 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:24:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, was most definitely insightful
loversalibi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god i'm losing my shit at this
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I legitimately can not stop laughing at that comment. I don't why I found it so funny - it's just so unexpected
poopwithjelly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:08:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm shocked. All this time I never knew.
JxWayne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for hilarious YouTube comments? I can scroll for awhile on an unsuspecting video for the comments alone.
birdmommy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'm just gonna sit here and rage.
Fuck Pooh; I won't do what you tell me.
asuhdood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the lazy https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
KyubeyTheSpaceFerret ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I RECOGNIZE THAT LINK
asuhdood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
big Winnie the Pooh fan?
KyubeyTheSpaceFerret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
of course, i just... war flashbacks to the first time i got rickroll'd TRIGGERED
Adekis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:49:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why he couldn't be a big Winnie the Pooh fan, but I'm ashamed at you for not knowing a "Never Gonna Give You Up" link.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've memorized one of the links. It starts with a u.
ClutchCinnabon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP please deliver
floridog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing someone named pool got their head stuck in the tree
SpareLiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the end of the episode, Pooh and friends slide to the next world, but it is left ambiguous whether or not the real Pooh or the Sham Pooh slid with them. Rumor has it the creators had planned to reveal it was the Sham one but dropped the plot line.
iamlowsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Push ate his feelings, Eeyore contemplated suicide, tigger was hopped up on drugs to cure his ADD, piglet was too scared to do anything and Christopher was committed to a mental hospital for schizophrenia.
SheeEttin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:54:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shampoo for my real friends, and real poo for my sham friends!
more
davay_tavarish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I was going to make a line of fake poo under that name!
Sham Poo
FlappyFlappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't guess it :(
nemo_sum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shampoo for real friends...
Squiggledog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll say "Poo" every time.
DonOntario ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not technically correct.
EuterpeZonker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
asp and halt are both words.
DonOntario ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:50:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So? Irrelevant. "Asphalt" is not a compound word of "asp" and "halt".
hatsolotl ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glucose
Salt
Methane
I could go on
PartyOfSpecialThings ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 29 and have no idea what the fuck a compound word is.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:11:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two words put together to make a new word. Grass + hopper = grasshopper.
PM_Me_A_Dare ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:41:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
Maoman1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:53:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass-fault
Dexaan ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... and here I thought OP was talking about something like this
Jaksuhn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:39:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not alone. I thought the same thing.
glockazine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ADD kicks in my driveway has a crack, I should look at this product closer
whocanduncan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, that's a regional pronunciation thing. We say ash-fault, but it still works.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay
sublime13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass fault
Linearts ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:31:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In no way is that a correct answer.
ShadowWriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass fault
Captain_Plutonium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PANZERKAMPFWAGEN
Slime_Shit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone please explain?
sean151 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you fall on the concrete, thatโs your ass fault
FocusYouFack ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:39:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep it wavy ๐๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say it out loud
exotics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name a compound word"
"George"
Jake0024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supposed to be technically correct tho.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asphalt actually works perfectly. Asp/Halt.
ivan_style ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kanye in elementary school.
accidental_rebellion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your username is glorious and extremely optimistic
TatterhoodsGoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shall name it Fred.
paulthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in kindergarten or first grade, I was asked if children was a compound word, and I didn't know how to spell wren so I thought it was.
Thespoderweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whose fault? Whose fault? The San Andreas Fault, 'cause Mr. Ritcher can't predict her kicking our asphalt.
jorrylee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadians are too polite. We say ash-fault.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catastrophe
wofo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Compoundy McCompound-face"
These-Days ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead meme
StareyedInLA ยท 4338 points ยท Posted at 23:43:17 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this was something I remember from high school.
We had a quiz about the 1960's in what I think was either my sophomore or junior year. One of the questions was, "John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do..." and we had to fill in the blank.
We were doing a peer edit of the quiz the next day with another class' quiz. When my teacher got to the JFK/RFK question, someone raised their hand and said, "My guy wrote down 'JFK and RFK were the first two brothers to do... Marilyn Monroe?"
Mr. Q's reply was, "Technically, that is kind of correct, but dock a point off anyway because the real answer is 'run for president.'"
TL;DR: The Kennedy brothers claim to fame isn't running for office... it was doing Marilyn Monroe.
*Edit: I noticed that a lot of people commented on how badly worded the question is/was. For the record, writing is not my strong suit, this happened about ten years ago so I can't remember how the question was worded, and my teacher sucked. And now that everyone has brought it up, I regret not putting down "get assassinated" as the answer 'cause that would have been awesome!
l3alance ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely thought this was going to take a much darker route with both being presidential candidates who were assassinated. Pleasantly surprised
kthejoker ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 03:58:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real answer isn't right, Thomas and Charles Pinckney ran for President.
hellofellowstudents ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 09:49:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes. Who could forget about Thomas and Charles Pinckney
lyzabit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But hey, if you're going for facts, still relevant and misleading to say otherwise.
kthejoker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:36:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you besmirch the good name of Pinckney, sir! Pistols at dawn.
Sensorfire ยท 805 points ยท Posted at 00:14:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To do run for president?
sexdrugsjokes ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 00:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did they do?
They ran for president.
Itr0llhoe ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 02:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do run run run do do run run
TreeBaron ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:29:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duran Duran.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yumyum
GodOfDumbness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like Durian, but what would you compare them with to explain their taste? (So I can at least understand why people like that thing)
NRGT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cheese
TreeBaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My comment was a Barbarella reference, apparently, a durian is a type of fruit that tastes like cheese...TIL
Edit: and a band...which took its name from that okay. " Duran Duran took their name from the mad scientist Dr. Durand Durand, a character in the film." - http://duranduran.wikia.com/wiki/Barbarella_(film)
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:31:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wasn't the problem, though. The original problem was a fill-in-the-blank:
"John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do ______________"
StareyedInLA ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never said my history teacher was very good at his job! Seriously, he's our school's basketball coach and I had the misfortune of having him for three years (history sophomore and junior year and government in senior year).
KleptoMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Small school problems, right? Half the staff at my little 2A were coaches too.
StareyedInLA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:19:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's a big school! I just had the misfortune of having this teacher three years in a row.
diskmaster23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a row?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:09:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
drow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did the President want them to run for anyway?????
everythingsleeps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exercise
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
everythingsleeps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cant wait for the next season of mrrobot
RegretDesi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They did ran for predident.
REkTeR ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:52:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, let's not make a big to-do over it.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, bad sentencing there. It would have been alright to have written "John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy were the first brothers to do what?" That sentencing is the thing that bothers me the most... aside from the fact that it's not exactly confirmed that Monroe ever had an affair with either one of them, much less both of them.
StareyedInLA ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:16:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about the bad writing. This happened about ten years ago, so I don't fully remember how that question was phrased.
And plus, writing doesn't come naturally to me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" is the only actual evidence of her and JFK being in the same room, and even then, she was on a stage and he was in the audience.
altrsaber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is supposedly a film of her giving him a blowjob that sold for $1.5 million at auction in 2008. Sadly the buyer kept it private.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-marilyn-monroe-sexfilm-idUSN1448222320080415
HIFDLTY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot of money for a blowjob, but he was the president I guess...
reddhead4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something /r/switcharoo
wordsftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best part of this article is when they talk about J. Edgar Hoover making agents watch the video intently and bringing in hookers to see if it matched JFK's junk.
SergioFromTX ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:14:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To do run, run, run. To do run, run.
Perry4761 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:49:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either OP's question actually ended with "the first brothers to..." and the "do" was only in the Marylin Monroe part, but then then answer would be little less funny imo, OR OP is a big fat liar who invented the story for karma. Either way, story was funny and I upvoted. Well done OP!
ninja-edit: just thought of a 3rd option: OP's teacher was a dumbass
StareyedInLA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to the gods this actually happened! The OG post is a combo of my history teacher sucking/being ten years since it happened/and me both hating and sucking at writing!
And thank you for the karma. I am quite shocked that it exploded the way it did!
paralog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
reditrix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To do run run run, to do run run
linkletonsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you not do?
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:52:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CyanideNow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were probably the first brothers to do Jackie, though...
vish_bavs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no, Jackie was done by Bob and Jacob first
litux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a guy who claims that he mapped the lives of JFK and Marilyn day by day, hour by hour, and proved that JFK didn't do Marilyn.
antwan_benjamin ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:57:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont even think thats true. I'm sure 2 brothers tried to run for president before.
Edit: Come to think of it, I'm sure 2 brothers fucked Marilyn Monroe before too.
DeepthroatMyGoat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:44:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or getting assassinated for wanting the Oval Office?
Sean081799 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my first thought as well (not those exact words of course).
Sonic_Is_Real ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:33:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason i kept thinking Monroe was marilyn manson and was extremely confused
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:25:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JFK and RFK were the first brothers to do a silly face after getting shot in the head, as politicians.
StDoodle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:45:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone else is complaining about the lack of proof they both slept with her, meanwhile I'm just thinking "they couldn't have been the first brothers to do so."
huluhulu34 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought someone would answer "get assassinated".
SynisterBaconLord ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:31:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Get assassinated" wouldn't work because there's been plenty of noble families throughout history to get full on murderized, they aren't the first siblings to both go down like that.
RingGiver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When Ted Kennedy didn't get charged with felony homicide after his car accident, he probably felt like he dodged a bullet. His brothers never got to experience that feeling.
jakielim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:52:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well Gracchi beat them for getting asssinated by thousands of years.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woulda been wrong though. Brothers have been assassinated before. Even brothers in high political office.
Pretty gruesomely too.
lydocia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They probably weren't the first brothers to do Marilyn Monroe anyway.
Xenomemphate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is, that woulda been wrong. There is no way they were the first brothers in history to be assassinated.
the_supersalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they both do her though?
litux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably neither did.
makzter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG I'm at work and could barely contain myself from laughing.
DJFiregirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, I never knew they both ran for office.
royalhawk345 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:26:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well JFK is kinda a no-brainer. RFK's assassination is pretty famous but I can see how it might not be outside the US.
HeywardH ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 04:27:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
royalhawk345 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:46:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad someone caught that
emu90 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:50:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jackie caught it, right?
HIFDLTY ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D:
StareyedInLA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoting because of that!
DJFiregirl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am an American and I never had any sort of history class that covered any of this. Were they both assassinated? All I know about them is they both had a go with Monroe and someone was shot in a car and his head went back and to the left.
DeathandHemingway ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert was shot by Sirhan Sirhan in a hotel in, I believe, Los Angeles.
StareyedInLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, it happened at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. The city bulldozed it a few years ago and built a school over it.
washedrope5 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're American you definitely had a class that covered JFK being president and getting assassinated... unless you were homeschooled and history class ended with Jesus's resurrection.
whitepokefrost ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:33:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I've never been taught that. We only covered American history up until WWII in middle school, and then I did world history throughout high school.
DJFiregirl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:41:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not where I grew up. Should I blame the Catholic school or the under-funded public high school?
washedrope5 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 07:20:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you truly didn't know JFK was a president that was assassinated, and you didn't know about the Cuban missile crisis or the "ask not what your country can do for you..." quote; I think you should blame yourself. You have internet access. I bet you know who Brad Pitt is married to, so use your time and resources more wisely.
DJFiregirl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great assumptions! Clearly it's my fault the education system did me a kerfuffle in my youth.
I never learned about those things because no one ever taught me and I can't magically know what to look for if I don't know what I didn't learn. I only know the quote because I've heard it many, many times before, I have no idea the context. My school stuck me in 3 years of world history, I didn't get to choose.
I don't care about Brad Pitt, either. Womp womp.
By the way, it's missile.
Flyawave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:34:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool, world history's more fun anyhow.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude's a regular poster in T_D, which explains a few things.
washedrope5 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3 years of world history, but no mention of the cold war (which would include at least a passing mention of Kennedy)? I just don't believe you. Ultimately though, I really don't care.
DJFiregirl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:02:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet here you are still posting, hmmm.
And no, there wasn't. World history can exist with America sticking its ass in everything.
Woofiny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would World History in high school, taught in the US, not cover anything whatsoever related to the US in any way? Genuinely curious because in Canada we learn about Canada, US, and all the rest of the world.
DJFiregirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:26:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume the teachers didn't feel like it. It's been long enough since I was in school and I don't know the requirements for the curriculum itself, but from what I remember we spent a lot of time on Chinese history (and I do mean a lot), some on Russia, and a fair chunk on India. I remember reading Candide and Nectar in a Sieve, but it's mostly hazy now.
TheActualAWdeV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you want to cover the last 60 years in any kind of accuracy.
Kildigs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The point is, we definitely didn't have a class in school that covered these topics, regardless of what we learned independently.
AltSpRkBunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*WAS married to
Kildigs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I only had one class that covered anything past 1900 and that was JROTC. Never discussed anything in any class post WW2. NC public school system for you.
roadkilled_skunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I'm not from the USA but I would assume everyone here learns about JFK's assassination. We did not cover his brother in "high school" though.
DJFiregirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me, there are a LOT of things that my schooling never covered, and it honestly concerns me at times. I've done my personal research on things that actually interest me, however the US presidency and the history of it is not one of those things. I did a through project about Japanese internment camps during WW2, and that was something they definitely didn't teach us, and something the teacher tried to detour me away from.
Either way, whether or not I know about the Kennedy family hasn't really impacted my life, so there's that.
roadkilled_skunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:06 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't really learn about internment camps either, I don't think it was even mentioned in passing. I think I hadn't even known it was a thing before I heard that Fort Minor song. But then again I'm not from the US and generally we did very little on how life was like during the wars.
DJFiregirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow my schooling completely ignored the world wars, save for "omg hitler was bad k." It is astounding.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was just a regular whore
darkbreak ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I even got to the end I knew what the answer was going to be.
roadkilled_skunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool!
idpeeinherbutt ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong, you don't know if they were the first brothers to get to Marilyn.
VagueSomething ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really an achievement when so many done it.
littlerubbersoulfoal ยท 391 points ยท Posted at 02:53:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a special ed room where the children were sorting nouns- the picture of the mailman went in the "people" column, the baseball went in the "things" column, and so on. There were several pictures of animals, and a little girl (who wore shirts with puppies and horses on them almost daily) sorted the animals in the "people" column, and was the only one in class to have done so. I pulled her aside to ask her why she didn't sort the animals in the "things" column? (I didn't tell her she was wrong, I just wanted to see her train of thought) and she started giggling and burst out laughing saying, "how is an animal like a thing? animals are alive! a cow can't be like a desk!" And she's cracking up because she thinks it's so silly that people view animals as things. I asked her if someone taught her that or if she just knew it and she said it was just something she knows. It was touching and innocent and very sweet. I love animal-lovers :-)
whiteypoints ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 03:59:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously it would never cross my mind to classify living animals as "things" either. Not even worms.
littlerubbersoulfoal ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right?! Me either! what prompted me to ask her about it was because she was the only one in the class to do so, also because animals in the people column was considered the "wrong" answer, but you couldn't explain away the fact that animals were living and things were inanimate.
CLearyMcCarthy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you're using the wrong definition of "things."
sobrique ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:22:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'd call 'things' the superset encompassing people, animals and inanimate objects.
So everything in "things" would be OK :)
Siphyre ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:51:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't put them as people either though. People is just another way to say humans.
whiteypoints ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but there were only three choices.
Personified animals like Bugs Bunny, Tony the Tiger, Smokey the Bear, etc. sure make the case for the people category.
Stormfly ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:04:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember being taught Nouns were "People, Places, Animals, or Things"
Remember arguing with a teacher over it for similar reasons when she omitted the "Animals" part.
Siphyre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:32:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was taught nouns it was proper nouns and common nouns. Proper nouns were names, places (names of the place), titles. Pretty much unique things. And then we had common nouns being everything that takes up space. My teacher totally bypassed the things/animals controversy it seems.
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being that humans are just another form of animal...
HowToExist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:52:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There essentially "living things" in my mind But she's got a point they're closer to people than a desk.
Helz2000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not. Even. WORMS.
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:25:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did she go on to be a dictionary writer? dictionary.com defines "thing" as "a material object without life or consciousness; an inanimate object."
littlerubbersoulfoal ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's still only 9, but I wouldn't put her past her. Then again I feel like she's too much of a free spirit to be confined by definitions. Lil baby hippie should be frockiling on a farm somewhere taking care of her animals :-)
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:46:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very un-Reddit thing to say, but your posts are making me so happy. :D
littlerubbersoulfoal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:37:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh! Thanks for breaking from the snarky internet mold I love uuu
freshieststart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:17:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cracked's Seven Most Things gives some surprising examples of things that are things.
Increasingly, there's frequently a relevant Cracked.
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a thing! Eventually, Cracked will publish "6 mind-blowing xkcd comics (that are surprisingly relevant)," and then the universe will explode.
Swiftfire1002 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:27:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I'm thinking about it, a noun is only a person place or thing because we think were soooo superior to all those other living things. (Amd we might be in some ways, I don't think we are entirely.)
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:29:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember thinking "person, place or thing" was a really stupid definition when I was in elementary school, because people and places ARE things! And if "noun" means "thing, thing or thing," then why do we say "noun" instead of "thing"?
It turns out I might have been wrong about the definition of "thing," but whatever.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thing you been thinging about this too much.
NiteCyper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the deepest and most wholesome anecdote in this thread. Holy cow. That's so beautiful I could cry.Goย vegan,ย folks.
littlerubbersoulfoal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many downvotes for veganism! I was a vegan for 6 years and vegetarian for 3 or so... had to start eating fish and eggs for health reasons :( but I still love my veggie fam
microjew2 ยท 1006 points ยท Posted at 00:37:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an elementary art teacher. Teaching about self portraits in one of my kindergarten classes, I explained that everyone's portrait will show all the parts of a face we all have, but they will be drawn uniquely to look like you. A child raises her hand and asks "Are we supposed to draw nipples? We all got nipples."
Hates_escalators ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 02:48:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone has nipples on their face.
thewhovianswand ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:37:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
KuntaStillSingle ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:03:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone has nipples on my face.
LiquidRandomness ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:19:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
Ominimble ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:13:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nipples aren't on everyone's face
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you think...
Smgth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have nipples, Greg...
Flying__Penguin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:10:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I... Am I supposed to draw the penis?
Evning ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are only nipples if they are protruding cones.
Rings suck
Kramestick ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:20:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
self portraits in kindergarten? easy van gogh
Tvs-Adam-West ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well? Were you?
tatortotsgosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is going places.
101311092015 ยท 1722 points ยท Posted at 01:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extra credit problem on a test that was very difficult. Like crazy difficult. Involved many steps and probably had to do with finding out the rate of oxygen consumption of reptiles. I hadn't made the answer key yet.
Very few students tried ANY of the extra credit problems and one answered all of them but for that last one they just put "I don't want to do this problem"
Neither did I. Gave them the point.
necklessgiraffe ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 03:02:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What sort of test was this?
skylarmt ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A very difficult one.
IowaFarmboy ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 04:18:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A crazy difficult one.
kake241 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:09:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A test so difficult... it goes further beyond difficult
ShyGuy1265 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:11:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ludicrous difficulty
fuckinweebs ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What you're seeing now is a normal test
This is a difficult test
And this... This is known as a difficult test that has ascended past a difficult test, or you can just call this a difficult test 2
And this... IS TO GO EVEN FURTHER BEYOND!
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ARRRGGHHHHHHH NGHHHHHHHH NNGHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm sorry that took so much longer than the others heh, but I haven't had much occasion to practice this one. This is what I call a difficult test 3.
Edit: formatting
kake241 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:05:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I have achieved super difficult test super difficult
TizTheWiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SUPERKAMIGURUDIFFICULT
kake241 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:43 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'll just call it little green difficult
ThaNorth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A reptilian test apparently.
FlappyFlappy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:17:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a 8.5 by 11 inch test. Multiple sheets.
101311092015 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't givin more details than that on the subject or anything. Don't want people finding my account :T It was a unit test. On a unit for some subject. Some subject and unit where adding a question on reptile oxygen consumption would be almost completely tangential.
Trugglee ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 04:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like you have traits from both terrible and awesome teachers!
101311092015 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:59:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be fairly accurate. I have the ability to become a much better teacher but due to a lot of crap I'm not the best I can be. Got the passion and the love of teaching, but love torturing my students way too much and am getting way too tired of students not trying.
Trugglee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get that, and as a student, I actually have teachers like that. I think the fact that you care and recognise your "shortcomings" shows that you are an overall good teacher. Bad teachers don't even care that they might be torturing students :)
kheltar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both my parents were teachers, and I agree, there is a lot of crap they have to put up with.
For my dad it was always about the kids that tried hard. He worked at a school in a relatively poor area, so did his best to get the ones that wanted to work hard through. He was always thrilled when one of the kids he knew went to university, it wasn't exactly a common occurrence there.
warflemin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:14:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher gave a question that had to do with the pages he made us read the day before after a few kids complaining and making excuses he said I don't want to hear your excuses or at least make them poetic. So I write him a poem to earn myself half marks. After reading aloud to the entire class.
So_Famous ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:06:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well glad to know we're on the same page then.
101311092015 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plus the kid honestly deserved it given their work on the other problems and nobody else even tried it xD
Thebloodroyal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My question to the other kids in this class: Why wouldn't you just do the extra credit as someone taking a test? I'd at least try the problem if it wasnt absolutely redonk.
C0m3b4cK1d ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:01:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time... Drew a dinosaur on one of the free response questions on my AP calc exam. Wrote "have a nice day" underneath my masterpiece; I had no idea how to approach that problem and several others. Made a 5! The curve must have been Reeeeeeealllly low that year if I'm being honest. Who cares though, didn't have to take any math classes in college.
BleuAzur ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:26:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You made a 120 ? That's actually fairly impressive !
*runs back to /r/unexpectedfactorial
101311092015 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it was kinda redonk and a lot of students struggled with the material. It was free response so guessing really wouldn't have helped them much. Plus they were all kinda dead after finishing the main part of the test.
HenryTheQuester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about ludicrous redonk?
WhiteBoyFlipz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laziness.
IamLuke555 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit is that a thing? Consumption rate of oxygen in reptiles? The hell? I never studied that
101311092015 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:56:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it's not really important to know but it does tell you how well they understand its relationship to other functions. Plus it's kind of like a puzzle where you have to find the path that will get from what you're given at the start to what you want at the end. A long, painful, mathematical puzzle
jquiz1852 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Khan, is that you?
sharfpang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seen a teacher checking tests once...
She first searched for that one test in the pile. Gave it an "A" without reading. Then she began checking the rest of the tests against results in that one...
borkman2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What in the fuck?
sharfpang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:54 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How to outsource creating the answer sheet." Ingeniously lazy. She knew her students enough to know that one would almost surely get all the answers right, so she used it as the answer sheet.
Yeah, it could have backfired if the student made a mistake after all. OTOH the teacher can make a mistake in the answer sheet too!
Jennchow ยท 1142 points ยท Posted at 02:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late, but maybe whoever reads this will appreciate it.
Not a teacher, but I was helping my [at the time] four year old son with homework. It was a picture of a cow and he was supposed to draw spots on it. So I told him "Draw 17 spots on the cow."
I came back a few minutes later and he had written the number 17 several times and put circles around each.
I definitely kept it.
hoblobfobtob ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:27:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kid or the pic?
SoapRage ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 04:11:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why isn't he your son anymore :(
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the time he was 4 years old. Now I'm assuming he's no longer 4 years old. Because, time.
Whiskers_Fun_Box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:46 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so right.
IndoDovahkiin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:06:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate this
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jordaneer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/madlads
litux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it common for four-year-olds to count to 17 and to know how to write the number?
Jennchow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the state I live in, the four year old go to voluntary pre-kindergarten where they learn the alphabet (oral and written) and practice numbers up to 20, I think. He had homework every week he had to do...times have changed from when I was a child.
Medicatedmotivated31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 1st grader was writing her sentences using her spelling words, one of which was "crazy". She wrote "My mom is crazy". I let her leave it because her spelling and context were correct, and she wasn't lying ๐๐
Frivolouscake ยท 22642 points ยท Posted at 23:12:42 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 9 English we were studying The Hobbit. Our bonus question for the test was "What word does Gollum never say?" The answer of course was "I" but one kid put down "pumpernickel" and the teacher was like... fuck. You're right. Have a mark.
Edit: Sighhh... Guys this was a bonus question meant to give you an easy mark, which it did as he gave the guy a point for pumpernickel. Had it been a more Hobbity question it would have just been included in the main exam. He also asked about the 1994 Stanley Cup playoffs and Dr. Seuss's "The Lorax." The main body of the test was much more academic.
blueroom789 ยท 801 points ยท Posted at 01:33:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See my first idea is that he never says "ring"
Frivolouscake ยท 285 points ยท Posted at 01:36:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's true and he honestly probably was expecting a little variation in answers. I just don't know that he was expecting as much as that one kid provided.
Evolving_Dore ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an interesting conversation starter among people like me who think knowing who Tuor was makes you cool, but it's a terrible question to ask a classroom.
Frivolouscake ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:02:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well as a spur of the moment bonus question that he gave almost infinite leeway too, I don't think it was bad.
Evolving_Dore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't see it was a bonus question, that makes it more understandable! I would definitely have given credit for pumpernickel, because the parameters of the question don't specify any further.
There are a lot of words he never says. He never says ring, or Sauron, or Frodo or Sam. He never uses his name Gollum, continuing to refer to himself as Smeagol. He actually does indeed use I quite a bit to refer to himself, during times when Sam believes he's being more honest and 'slinker' rather than 'stinker', though this all applies to LOTR, not The Hobbit.
Woofiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't he cough, "Gollem", though?
Chlamydiacuntbucket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that's only in the movies
Smgth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:58:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are very few wrong answers to this question. I'm guessing Gollum didn't even manage to use 1% of available English words. Not a very imaginitive teacher...
blueroom789 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:06:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean the question implies an answer that's relevant, as in something that's prevalent in the scene but is deliberately not said.
Smgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When dealing with children it's best not to be relying on context to get them to go where you want. Explicivity (if that's a word) is the way to go, otherwise you get, well, everything in this thread.
psychetron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a word. It seems like you were fishing somewhere between 'explicitness' and 'specificity' โ either of which would also be a correct answer to the bonus question, incidentally.
wtffighter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait I think you are right. Well another reason to rewatch the trilogy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the answer we woulds have given
MagicSPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, mine too, and I've read the Hobbit about 20 times. It's a bizarre question.
nerdkingdom ยท 13061 points ยท Posted at 23:52:47 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does Gollum never say?
Kid: Punk ass bitch suck my left testicle.
Edit: This is now my top comment with 11.8K points. Thank you, Reddit. edit 2: Thank you for the gold kind stranger
[deleted] ยท 4566 points ยท Posted at 23:58:15 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if we're counting the expanded universe...
Lord of the cock rings might have something to say about it
theconfuserx2 ยท 1547 points ยท Posted at 00:19:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But then your dick would be invisible
heartbreakhill ยท 3918 points ยท Posted at 00:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it'd actually appear bigger than normal.
Edit: This is now my top comment by a little over 1200 points. Wonderful.
CrownfullofThorns ยท 305 points ยท Posted at 01:37:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just put them out of their misery, won't you?
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 1138 points ยท Posted at 01:29:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck
PM-ME-STEAM_KEYS ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:10:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get all happy now, Kevin.
It just makes it "appear" big.
dick_is_love ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:00:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stop dick shaming. all dicks are beautiful
Inshresting ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:17:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is there a movement for this?
GamerKMP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably somewhere in the world.
damien665 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm feeling a movement right now...
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By comparison?
THE_LURKER__ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:29:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in your side mirror.
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:31:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the other mirrors?
THE_LURKER__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well they don't have the informative lettering...
Best I can offer you is that if you drive a 1998 ford explorer and the invisible penis that you are observing were to suddenly cast a Patronus spell your rear view mirror would automatically dim the reflection of the elk apparation, thats a pretty nice feature if you ask me.
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very nice
THE_LURKER__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would have been nicer if I hadn't mixed up my franchises. For some reason I always confuse elements from Harry Potter and LOT.
iwaspeachykeen ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:08:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
motherfucker I haven't laughed like that in days
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker I'm glad to hear it
devildoodle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said.
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my
dahliamma ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since when has this been a thing?
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:19:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since yam
LHOOQatme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how did you do that?!
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[insert text](/yam)
LHOOQatme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are very welcome
LHOOQatme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I don't get is the idea behind this feature
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y A M
thelogikalone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just when you think we cant get there, we do
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Whispered)
people don't think it be like it is, but it do
Zapfaced ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:03:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bah gawd you killed him
Helpful_Response ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That man had a family!"
Ragmetil ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roasted in the fires from which he was forged
MastaD ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:11:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slayed
Brickwater ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody call Bruce Campbell, looks like Burn Notice is getting greenlit for another season ๐ฅ๐บ๐ฅ๐บ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐บ๐ฅ
heartbreakhill ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burn Notice was my fucking jam.
probablyhrenrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was always Smuckers.
PM_meyour_closeshave ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Magnificent. Negative dick space where none is more. Bravah
throw6539 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, /u/jokeexplainbot
Billybobsatan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:03:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roasted and toasted
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
tw0Toedsloth ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:35:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rickity-Recked Son!
bones21232 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:26:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
JamesMadisonJr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:22:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am ballsack
ProbablyNotCocaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:15:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
probablyhrenrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Joseph Jonestar.
heartbreakhill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SON OF A BEETCH
Jon_Boopin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
911 I just witnessed a murder
iamlowsound ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is the most savage thing I have ever read on the Internet.
I_Buttchug_Listerine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare for the fallout of that nuke
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R E K T
E
K
T
Parandroid2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, Steve Austin
atp2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brutal, savage, rekt
HBthePoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage.
elpololoco9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt
Shlano613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to report a murder
WillieNederWiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
now you can fuck people and they can't see you or feel you.
livin4donuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro that was straight ferocious.
Jkami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your username gives me a motto boner
Writerguy995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG stop I am completely losing it at work! Holy shit....
redmordred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's savage.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot.
showmeurknuckleball ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the point, it becomes a surprise
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like surprise sex
LRats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean disappointment...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They'll never see me coming.
Hates_escalators ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it make your whole body invisible, in LoTR, the ring didn't just make Frodo's finger invisible.
dddonehoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The better to fuck you with, my queer
Tonkarz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sauron wasn't invisible when he wore the ring so probably there's more to it than just invisibility.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The simple explanation is that it gives you the power to manifest your desire. Which for the hobbits and golumn is hiding from things that want to hurt them.
Hates_escalators ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It also enhances the natural abilities of the wearer, hobbits generally go unnoticed, so invisibility
Aiwatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is absolutely my fetish
Phenotypo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you are Thirdlegolas.
Necroblight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it make any difference?
Lemonlaksen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Practically changes nothing
mightynifty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one will ever see it coming...
Kichigai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So hentai then?
TheNargafrantz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:58:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean Lord of the G-Strings
alter-eagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good ol Dildo Saggins.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:12:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ask me how I know this, but "lord of the cock rings" is an actual thing...
CharlesDickensABox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And its sequel "Lord of the Cock Rings: The Two Plowers".
GamerLeFay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Lord of the Cock Rings: Return of the Peen?
CharlesDickensABox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to go with "Lord of the Cock Rings: The Coming of the King", but I think yours is better.
dudewhatnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a Skin-emax(Cinemax) take on LoTR titled Dildo Saggins and The Lord of The G-String. If was supremely twrrible for the 12 minutes I watched it.
Centias ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Punk ass hobbitses, slob on my knobitses."
aleder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really expanded
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ur gonna have to send me a link to that for educational purposes.
brainsick_noodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Gay Perry's favorite movie?
AThiker05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the one where Frodo bricks in Sam's mouth?
notsocreepykev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I weren't broke, I would give some gold. Please enjoy this like as a poor substitute.
Jdfz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sure hope you're referencing the movie I think you are. You get my cautious upvote.
Kash_Aetchum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm pretty sure he mentions pumpernickel in Lord of the Onion Rings too
SquirtleInHerMeowthh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dildo Saggins for Prez
Long-Schlong-Silvers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm wondering what the porn portrayal of Gollum looks like.
Sigh unzips
THE_CHOPPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord of the G string, actually.
mcmxcvgolde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a reference to the ex cult member interview done as marketing for HULU's The Path?
itswhywegame ยท 812 points ยท Posted at 00:02:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fite me IRL Frodo I'll kick your bitch ass to the Shire and back.
digital_end ยท 433 points ยท Posted at 00:11:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually very close to what he says in the cockney language version.
Soddington ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love a remake with Alan Ford (Brick Top from Snatch) as Gandalf;
"You shall not pass, you fiery fucking cunt! Now fuck off back to the netherworld!"
Gandalf's leg is snagged by the falling demons whip
"Gadalf nooo!"
Gandalf struggles but his grip is slipping
"What da Fuck are you dozzy little cunts gawpin' at! Fuck off while ya still got the legs to carry ya!"
Gandalf drops into the abyss after the demon
"Think you're fucking hard you lavafaced gobbshite? I'll fucking show you hard!"
digital_end ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs made.
major84 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Dyer is now adapting tolken ?
TheJack38 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:13:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Is this a thing that exists? Please tell me it exists
digital_end ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a more amazing world, I like to believe that it would exist.
nephallux ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:08:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye
Jayrocket49 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is an actual cockney Bible already, so we have the technology
SEAWEAVIL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is here really a cockney language version??
0bi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Frodo isn't in The Hobbit, Bilbo is...
major84 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Dyer isnt writing the Cockney dialogue.... so no he wouldnt.
nerdkingdom ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:14:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NAH bitch i dont play these games hoe
willhammy03 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to read this as if you were a small leprechaun and Frodo was gonna steal your gold.
RedditUsir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for this
cravingvapor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll kick your swear word swear word
TheEeveeLord ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 01:54:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does Gollum never say?
Kid: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
themuffinmann82 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:22:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what dose Gollum never say? kid: abracafuckindabra!
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid: Suck my left nut
awesomeness-yeah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooh you said the p word!
washedrope5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you havent read my fan fiction
KappaB3ard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:13:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nocontext
cballowe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Garrison: what did you say?
noseonarug17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did, however, say "punk ass bitch suck my right testicle."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
F- didnt read instructions see me after class!
STRIKAR0526 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never laughed so hard in my life thank you kind sir
cbnyc0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. I can award you no points. You failed to use a comma between "bitch" and "suck."
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gollum does say that commas are for punk bitches. Take that, bro.
tommythehandsome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. Any diehard can tell you Smeagol's all about the right nut.
Joarthus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"GODDAMN JEWS! SUCK MY ASS BARF!"
MsLogophile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U fookin wot m8?
-Gollum
Communist-Onion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could give you all the upvotes
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this is now my most upvoted comment.
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just checked. yes, by literally 10k points, this is my top comment. this is what i shall be known for.
jayteazer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nearly busted up laughing from this... Thanks
CLearyMcCarthy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You and I have been reading VERY different versions of the Hobbit.
murdershroom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Post make me laugh, then made me choke. Props for almost killing me.
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6/7 points awarded. Gollum has said "my".
NotSorryIfIOffendYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He says "my," you fail
Hubbli_Bubbli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, he says "my" all the time.
Shadrach451 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found the guy that hasn't read the Silmarillion.
teenagesadist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure Bilbo, take the ring. I have no need of it. That blasted thing has caused me nothing but ire."
Shniggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eat my entire ass
CheddaCharles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bet he never says pussy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I scared my cat by laughing so hard
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did use 'my' a lot in 'my precious'
2hoodrich4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You long tittie no nipple havin ass bitch!"
kusanagisan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends, are we going off the book or the extended editions of all the movies?
labrev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless he's playing an online FPS.
DialMMM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid's name?
nerdkingdom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/nerdkingdom
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 1491 points ยท Posted at 01:11:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have worded it "What pronoun does Gollum never say?"
EDIT: I give up.
[deleted] ยท 4179 points ยท Posted at 01:18:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thou
Frivolouscake ยท 1405 points ยท Posted at 01:28:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a future in English instruction.
Dirty_Bird_RDS ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or law.
sleeplessone ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A PHOTOCOPY MACHINE!
Ibbot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you say "PHOTOCOPY MACHINE," what do you mean?
Sklangdog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:02:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thou hast a future in English instruction. FTFY.
evelution ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:31:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Verily.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ex-cathedra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*hast
windinherhair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a past.
FNGPete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For thou.
Volarer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*thee
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:41:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ. What about this?
[deleted] ยท 258 points ยท Posted at 01:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it isn't I.
p. 54 in (3rd page of) Chapter Five: Riddles in the Dark
Frivolouscake ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 02:15:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I'll have to email my old teacher.
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh snap. So the teacher's right answer wouldn't be right.
Now go to the office for proving the teacher wrong.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's the first thing that Gollum says in the whole book. The first instance of "gollum" is on that page.
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Office. Now.
nomo-momo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should be top comment.
MisterWoodhouse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:44:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BOOM. HEADSHOT.
Regorek ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:06:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
y'all
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:52:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I give up.
Nightmare_Pasta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a Bingo
Michael70z ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:09:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you not say thou in everyday life?
ftlom ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:25:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dost thou not say "thou" in everyday life? FTFY
Clown_AIDS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tupay sir....tupay
redditRW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
y'all.
EuterpeZonker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given the amount of women in LotR I'm going to go with "her".
EmoteFromBelandCity ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:17:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone please help, I can't get Shakespearean Gollum out of my head! Why is he wearing glasses!?
MIASpartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
xur
Undeadicated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing!
Nova_Jake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thou'd've
Rizzpooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we are talking about Tolkien
chinacrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ye
imrepairmanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still just you, the th is a letter called thorn, which is pronounced the same as y.
Edit: this is backwards.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:07:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have that all mixed up.
"ร" was pronounced like "th", and some instances of "y" were supposed to be thorns, e.g. "ye olde taverne." They were pronounced "th".
Feel free to look up "thou" in any dictionary.
imrepairmanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoops, yeah, thanks for pointing it out.
omerkraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shall
ctrexrhino ยท 2307 points ยท Posted at 02:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've
LvS ยท 557 points ยท Posted at 03:05:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly the drum sound I'm looking for for my new EDM track.
Doctah_Whoopass ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered how many artists started making music on cracked copies of software, released songs that have gained popularity and forgot they were made on cracked software.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot.... A LOT. Even Kanye West and his crew have cracked software and got into a Twitter fight over it when the creator of the software saw a pic of it on Kanye's laptop and could tell it wasn't legit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually the one I'm referring to, I just forgot about the finer details but that's the one.
KMG91 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:57:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big K.R.I.T. (rapper/producer) said the first thing he did with his royalty checks was buy legitimate versions of the software he had pirated to make his first album.
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I ever make money off my music that's exactly what I'll do.
thomasbomb45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where did that come from?
Badvertisement ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's something that's hard to just forget about.
moistmongoose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:06:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've and cats?
pepe_le_shoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up siri.
Brunonotthatbruno ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cant breathe help
Superhero1582 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:41:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh out loud. Fuck you.
KrishaCZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just sample Revolution 909.
Lady_of_Lomond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ROFL!!!! Thank you!
morvis343 ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 03:24:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'mt'ous'path'let'phile'like'ious'ant'script'ance'iatric'ite'emia'ory'age'ian'phone'ism'arium'ac'fy'ology'ure'pnea'ency'opia'loger'plegia'sophic'ent'hood'otomy'ward'ectomy'algia'orium'tude'cule'scribe'ization'crat'ade'gonic'onym'dom'ship'ic'ical'ial'ize'dox'itis'uous'scope'cycle'osis'ible'ular'acity'etic'cide'ative'plegic'ware'ese'ocity'sion'phyte'trophy'oma'ary'tome'scopy'ily'sect'ern'ist'esque'some'logist'phobia'iasis'pathy'ostomy'ling'ment'opsy'ee'oid'gam'gamy'cracy'ate'ine'oholic'aholic'escence'wise'arian'est'ness'eer'sophy'ette
[deleted] ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know this one! That's that village on Anglesey island in Wales!
jobblejosh ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's llanfairpwllgwyngllgogerythwyndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch to you, Sir.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:13:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say 'gesundheit', but after that sneeze, you're lucky to have any bones left.
NotLordShaxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogo.
That's all I can remember.
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello there Chtullu
Peachie_Pear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I copied this and put it into Google translate so I could hear it spoken aloud. It's my next mixtape single I like to call "Trying to talk backwards while drunk off my ass"
JustHereForTheCandy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone get you to the hospital after your stroke?
ChaseObserves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โฆman is this? ๐ค๐ค๐ธ๐ฅ๐๐ป
SubcommanderMarcos ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:00:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That can't possibly be real
UrAGoodPerson ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 03:13:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all'd've if I'd've but I'dn't've so you'dn't've.
IthacanPenny ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:24:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first two are legit. The last two, not so much. Who'd've thunk it? Lol
UrAGoodPerson ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last two are listed here, but I have never heard them spoken. The first two are pretty common, but rarely seen written down.
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_triple_contractions
Upsilon667 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:07:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They make sense to me if you were to say "I'dn't've gone to the bank if y'all'd've just lent me a few bucks"
I'm from Upstate NY, in case it's a dialectical thing, but I've definitely used that contraction myself.
SirDiego ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:11:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all'd've makes sense to me but the other one doesn't.
Edit: From Minneapolis MN
Vintagemarbles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would not have. Also from NY
SirDiego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. I get it now, though I would say "I wouldn't've." It sounds/looks like "I don't have," which I don't feel like I'd need a contraction for.
glurman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is quite the Lovecraftian contraction
UrAGoodPerson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neat. I've lived in South Carolina and California. I think I would say it like "I wouldn't'a gone to the bank if y'all'd'a lent me a few bucks."
d0re ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
North Carolina native here, that's how I'd've said it too
KisuPL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm having a stroke reading this
DeathByBamboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's great, but it doesn't quite make sense because "I'dnt've" should actually be "I'dn't."
UrAGoodPerson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I would not have."
Not "I did not"
WastingMyLifeHere2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all're'nt even close
CaptainVonDanDan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:28:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.reddituploads.com/401283e111ef4d25bde2eeb4a60d8f36?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=77c44c73d28c292a026dd8b77ff3eb5f
Sadsharks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just aren't on his level
Khvostov_7g-02 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've'st'i'n'al
tv_screen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've'll'ing'ed
AppleDane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd'ven't'll'ing'ed
TroopDaCoop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:41:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'd've THERE IT I-IS
Vikingtastic ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even
IvyCrack ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's almoat as painful as "Theiy're".
MyMetalPony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I have the name for my new Pathfinder character.
farcedsed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't a pronoun, it's a pronoun and contracted verbs.
WolfgodApocalypse ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:09:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whะพm'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'ven't'st've'ten'y'all'st'd'n't've'll'on't'vehe'd'whom'st'd've'dist'd'n't'st'd've'll's'd've're'n't'y'all'll'ven't't'whom'st'd'y'all've'nt'll've'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan't've'there'dn't'vet'be'st'dn'mightn't'vะตn'โt
The-red-Dane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the Jungle. The might Jungle.
The Lion sleeps tonight.
AppleDane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hush, my darling, be still, my darling, the lion's on the phone.
unpronounceable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking looks like Thai.
bugaosuni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what this means but it's worth an upvote.
rgsteele ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gesundheit.
Robododo13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all'ren't
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing this and trying to sound it out in my head, really fucked me up.
durgadas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Horton Visits The Shire.
Gullible_Goose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:17:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
REAL SHIT?
fgdadfgfdgadf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There it is.
bgog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you kinda made english your bitch there.
I_have_no_F-ing_clue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That legitimately made me snort. Well done.
tI-_-tI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me think your username is more clever than I can understand.
klparrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all'dn't've.
ZorackSF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you provide a context in which this word would be useful?
TSwizzlesNipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
y'all'd've
-ShaOfCasuals- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gesundheit!
Actionmaths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally burst out laughing on my train and now everyone is looking at me thinking I'm insane. Thanks.
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just ruptured a vessel reading that.
DocGerbill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'precios
Smokey_Bear15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an abomination
el_esteban ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nosotros
fugue2005 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
zhe
willflameboy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:11:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC he doesn't use 'he' or 'she' either.
Vandechoz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pretty sure he almost exclusively refers to Shelob as "she"
then again, its name is Shelob so maybe I just heard wrong
willflameboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yeah, maybe with Shelob. But with Bilbo it was 'what's in its pockets', I think.
Speedswiper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that you remember this is crazy.
Vandechoz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I could have watched the trilogy yesterday. I didn't, but I could have.
kyuke ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:26:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he did in The Hobbit, but I think he did in Lord of the Rings when referring to Shelob.
EDIT: Well, I decided to flip through my copies of Hobbit and Two Towers... and Gollum also says he when referring to Sauron and Bilbo and Frodo...and he uses he in the Hobbit when talking to himself about Bilbo.
And because I'm bored:
Hobbit page 80:
"Who are you?" he said, thrusting his dagger in front of him.
"What iss he, my preciouss?" whispered Gollum (who always spoke to himself through never having anyone else to speak to). This is what he had come to find out, for he was not really very hungry at the moment, only curious; otherwise he would have grabbed first and whispered afterwards.
"I am Mr. Bilbo Baggins. I have lost the dwarves and I have lost the wizard, and I don't know where I am; and I don't want to know, if only I can get away."
"What's he got in his handses?" said Gollum, looking at the sword, which he did not quite like.
"A sword, a blade which came from out of Gondolin!"
"Ssss" said Gollum, and became quite polite. "Praps ye sits here and chats with it a bitsy, my preciousss. It likes riddles, praps it does, does it?" ....
I just love that last part...praps it does, does it?
EDIT 2 (still bored):
Two Towers page 304:
'Then take it,' said the other, 'and let's hold it ourselfs! Then we shall be master, gollum! Make the other hobbit, the nasty suspicious hobbit, make him crawl, yes, gollum!'
'But not the nice hobbit?'
'Oh no, not if it doesn't please us. Still he's a Baggins, and my precious, yes, a Baggins. A Baggins stole it. He found it and he said nothing, nothing. We hates Bagginses.'
'No, not this Baggins.'
'Yes, every Baggins. All peoples that keep the Precious. We must have it!'
'But He'll see. He'll know. He'll take it from us!'
Shadrach451 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All'yall.
mszegedy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also yinz. Imagine Gollum being from Philly
EDIT: Although then you open yourself up to the teacher going, "Dialectal words aren't real words; the only English that counts is the standardized one they speak on the news"
Freddie_AppsHero ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pumpernickel.
CharlesDickensABox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:39:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whosoever
rotospoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youseguys
Milogop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whomst'dve'll'nt
stfatherabraham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yinz.
GlaciusTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her
cjojojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any?
VagueSomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Gollum is non binary and was just trying to condition everyone to go by name online when talking about Gollum to avoid misgendering with pronouns.
PM_ME_MAMMARY_GLANDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ich
Smokey9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck if i know what a pronoun is
Bandefaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
zhe
killaj2006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Shim"
Anustart15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ze/zeself/zer
CrossSwords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zhe.
VThePeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zie, zim, zir, zirs, nor zirself.
Darclite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meesa
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:12:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9/11
3jt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Apache"
Just-Call-Me-J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically a noun.
3jt ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read more: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-sexually-identify-as-an-attack-helicopter
Sensorfire ยท 2723 points ยท Posted at 00:07:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a dumb question anyway. Why would that be a non-multiple choice question?
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 3376 points ยท Posted at 01:49:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, I wouldn't immediately think of "I". He never says cuntblaster but would that give me extra credit?
Disproves ยท 679 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except the kids probably discussed the fact that he never refers to himself as a singular being.
KimoCroyle ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 03:06:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never refers to himself in first person.He refers to himself as a singular being all the time.My precious, or mentioning his own name in 3rd person.
e: I guess he just never says "I". u/boubird below pointed out that "my" is first person, my b
Just_A_Faze ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:44:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But his identity has been effectively removed. He doesn't know his own name. He speaks like an animal might if it could, only of gratification. He has lost all sense of self.
These-Days ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:36:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Theon, Reek
saltysteph ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:47:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.
Pvt_Lee_Fapping ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:56:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Randal was talking about LotR. Hobbit wasn't out when Clerks II released get your quotes right, bub.
saltysteph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Three fucking movies about people walking to a hole. Sucked. Every one.
SatanicBeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People not getting the reference
saltysteph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Teachers
Just_A_Faze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I read the book instead.
Just_A_Faze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for your useless rant about movies, even though that's not what anyone was talking about.
By the way, most of Gollum's character development occurs in the trilogy. His appearance in The Hobbit is brief.
saltysteph ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 06:19:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those movies fucking sucked. Sorry. I can't believe this is even a thing.
Just_A_Faze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I repeat: read the books. Problem solved. And The Hobbit is at about an 8th grade reading level.
saltysteph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to pass, but thanks. I have way better things to do with my time.
DragonEevee1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're not talking about the movies though
Kickyourass52 ยท -42 points ยท Posted at 03:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whp the fuck cares
x_Zoyle_Love_Life_x ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out, this guy might kick your ass
Kickyourass52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean might?
Critically_Pingas ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:33:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH SHIT, THIS GUY'S GOING TO KICK MY ASS! HELP!!!!!
DrDoctor18 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:18:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People analysing the Hobbit
pm_me_purple_panties ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:23:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gollum, since he has no sense of self therefore wouldn't care about losing the sense of self he isn't aware he lost.
Just_A_Faze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he had one once. That's what is striking. If you knew now that you would lose yourself, would the fact that you won't care then make you stop caring now?
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes
Kickyourass52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:36 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little fucker
boubird ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:12:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My" is first person.
KimoCroyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right lol I'm a dumbass.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the whole Gollum/Smรฉagol split doesn't even show up until The Lord of the Rings, he's definitely a singular entity in The Hobbit.
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 01:55:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he never said cuntblaster either. It doesn't have to be discussed.
NotOBAMAThrowaway ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"People who have never been in my kitchen".
greygore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it was here somewhere.
Disproves ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People who aren't inept can usually use context to discover what is being asked.
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 01:59:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context is irrelevant when there is an open ended question that has multiple correct answers.
lurgi ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:34:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Who was George Washington
A: A person
nk1992 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:20:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A venerated Virginian veteran?
futuresong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whose men are all lining up to put him up on a pedestal.
queendoofette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedhamilton
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:20:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop being logical. This is reddit. I expect more insults and screeching okay?
forklift_ ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 02:42:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CUNTBLASTER
sealedinterface ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more like it.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf.
DoctorPrower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BLASTCUNTER
Problem119V-0800 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:43:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
REEEEEEEEEE?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I can cum now.
cpxh ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:41:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in academia, but in society, context is generally pretty important, and it typically does you no good to point out a question has multiple correct answers when the person asking it was looking for a specific answer.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:52:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then they should ask a specific question.
cpxh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No matter how specific a question, some wise ass will always find some pedantic and technically correct answer and them pat themselves on the back for being so clever. We all know these types of people, and we all generally dislike them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until we need them to defend us in court. Uh, didn't really help my case there, did I?
DragonEevee1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What question wording would be more specific?
A_Suffering_Panda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:37:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which word, not including Aardvark, avocado, academia, ... cuntblaster, cockring,... And zyzzyvas, does gollum never say
BIG-DATA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is something odd about the manner in which Gollum speaks?
The current question assumes that gollum not saying "I" is something that is particularly notable to the reader. The truth is one might find that to be too obvious and short an answer to merit a question on a test, so their mind doesnt go there. You imagine there'd be more fanfare (in the book) around the fact that he doesn't say "I" if that were the case.
Multiple choice is totally meant for questions like these.
nukethechinese ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:02:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classroom setting is not academia? The question was asked on an English test as an extra credit.
Also, why don't you place the burden of thinking through a question on the person who asked the question? If they are "looking for a specific answer", then they should ask a question that will get them that, rather than a million possible answers. Do you think that there is no such thing as a bad question?
oldsecondhand ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this is academia.
rotospoon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"where's the gas station"
"On Earth"
farcedsed ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 03:27:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an instructor, I would have marked them wrong, and then told them context matters.
JanitorMaster ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:38:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a pedantic student, we would not have gotten along.
H00NlGAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learned a new word, thanks ๐๐ป
farcedsed ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not surprised. As a note, pedantry isn't a virtue, even in most classrooms.
ProfessionalGinger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but punishing your students for thinking creatively means you're destroying your own credibility with your students for being needlessly punitive. It's an extra credit question, they gave you a correct answer within the framework of the question. I would have argued with you too.
farcedsed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it's extra credit, then it's not punitive. If it isn't extra credit, then it still should be within the context of the lesson and not a bunch of nonsense.
Edit: As a note, I don't consider this to be "creative thinking" either; let's be honest, it's a smart assed response.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former student, I would have dinged you on your performance survey for not knowing how to ask a question.
DragonEevee1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fucking extra credit
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And still requires that the student have the same set of assumptions guiding his/her interpretations of the informational negative space around the explicit content of the text in question as does the instructor. The student is being tested on the degree of agreement of his neural structure (without regard to information content and reasoning ability) with that of the instructor, rather than on his/her understanding of the passage. So, it doesn't really matter whether it is base or extra credit. "You can make an A if you know/understand the material 90%, but if you know/understand it 85% and your brain is wired the same as mine, you can still get an A."
farcedsed ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've done a lot of studies on student evaluations, and the only thing they've really found them to indicate is what the student thinks their grade will be.
So I wouldn't be concerned.
Lynx436 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student, you're a cunt.
TheWorldMayEnd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:06:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a former student you're a real shit bag then.
Don't want technically correct answers? Don't ask vague questions.
When you ask a question and grade it you shouldn't be looking for your desired answer, you should be looking to see if the student in fact answered the question correctly.
In the above case the student answered the question asked correctly, they just didn't give you the answer you were looking for. That doesn't make the student wrong. If you want to discuss it with the student after that is one thing, to tell that student they are incorrect however is reprehensible.
You claim context matters, but you didn't provide the context that mattered. Had your instructions stated "Please answer all question based solely on class discussion" then you'd have some sort of argument. However barring provided context you cannot assume any for your students.
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking for answers, which show an understanding of the lesson, critical thinking, and ability to relate the material to the test, that answer does none of those things. It is frankly, a smart assed response which doesn't deserve any points.
Consider it this way, if you were at work and did the same thing, what would happen?
Schwenn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, everyone here is jumping the professor as if he had asked this reddit thread, not his intimate classroom of students.
However, that question still feels weak, as there are many amazing lessons to be taken out of The Hobbit, none of which are that Gollum can't address himself as I.
Sounds more like the teacher hadn't read the book and was simply following a lesson plan established by a community of teachers who also hadn't read the book, but needed to use it to continue their lessons.
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with you here, it is a weak question. But it is an interesting question if it followed with a second part of "explain the significances of why Gollum did not" or something similarly phrased.
Granted, one person said it was an extra credit question which makes me waffle a bit on my first firm stance of no points.
Schwenn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I agree with all of this. Thanks for filling me in!
IrishPrime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an engineer. All of my colleagues would gang up on management and start giving other joke answers until the question was refined.
yiw999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The work in that case would be the context. As long as the instructions for the questions provide the proper context then, I don't see a problem with what you're saying, but if there are a lot of technically correct answers, then it might be obvious to the test-maker but not so much to the students. I'm deviating a little here, but out-of-the box questions shouldn't be penalized if they follow the directions. Similarly in a good work environment, out-of-the box thinking should also be encouraged (obviously in the right context).
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lessons and discussions are similarly the context here. This was likely discussed in class, so I would assume there is a point to the question instead of a one off. However, if it is a one off extra credit like claimed, it would've still been stated in class.
TheWorldMayEnd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm at work I expect my employees to call me on my shit if I'm wrong.
In this case you as the educator were wrong because you got lazy. You didn't take the time to craft the question for the answer you wanted. You took an easy route out and now want to pin the blame on your student.
There are many ways you could have asked such a question to get a singular answer, in this above case that was not done.
You talk of workplace accountability, yet you yourself lead with a poor example by marking such a question wrong. In the classroom you are the boss. Want to disenfranchise students, mark them wrong when they think creatively and are correct. Sure, you'll teach them a life lesson, but not the lesson you want. Instead you'll teach that sometimes bosses are assholes who don't want you to think creatively, but instead just echo back to them what they want to hear. Further don't trust your boss, they're out to get you, even when you're right.
It all comes down to a lack of effort on the instructors part. The instructor could have made an air tight question and didn't. That's in no way the student's fault.
I'll be the first to admit that I was the type of smart-ass student that knew the answer should have been "I" but gave another technically correct answer instead. Just as you push your student to be better you should accept that they are pushing you to do the same. Marking them wrong here would be neglecting your ability to become a better instructor due to your own carelessness and lack of desire to improve or recognize that you can improve.
farcedsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you give your boss a technically correct answer and expect to not have to do anything else? Or would you give the contextually appropriate answer?
TheWorldMayEnd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a boss.
If an employee gave me a technically correct answer I'd look into it, even if it didn't seem like it was going down the correct path. The answers I want the most are the ones that I don't think of myself.
Any good employer feels the same way. Any shitty employer it doesn't matter because they're not looking for results, only yes men or biding their time until they can replace with you with an algorithm or robot.
I understand that as an instructor you have to train both the future bosses and future laborer who doesn't have to think critically. Marking those that think outside the box wrong however doesn't help nourish those who do so. I said originally that if you felt a conversation was needed it should be had, but the answer was not wrong for the question asked. Marking it wrong shows a lack of effort and maturity on your part, not the students.
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh, that isn't a comparable example. If you have someone whose job is to do the HR and you said, "report on X" and they emailed "fine" a week later, when contextually it's understood they need to do an annual report, you'd most definitely be more than a bit annoyed and think they didn't do their job.
TheWorldMayEnd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:02:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I'd have them clarify what fine meant. If it was continual I'd have a conversation with them about it. What I wouldn't do would be to fine them, fire them, dock their hours, or publicly admonish them without first discussing the matter. Those are the real world equivalent of marking a test question wrong.
If you think a discussion is necessary, have it, but if the work product provided answer the question I asked and I find it lacking, that my fault for asking the wrong question, not my employees fault for providing the "wrong" answer.
farcedsed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if fine wasn't related to the answer at all. I doubt it. You'd expect them to do their job, much like I expect my students to do theirs.
TheWorldMayEnd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If fine is a truthful and conplete answer then I failed in asking the question not my employee failing to answer. Own your shit. It's OK to make a mistake. What makes a teacher a failure is if they make a mistake and blame their students instead of owning it and correcting their mistake for the future.
It's not that hard to craft a question with a singular answer. In the above case all that would have been necessary is to make the question, "As per our discussion in class, what was the discussed word that Gollum never says?"
BIGMAN50 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you. If you ask a question such as, "what does golem never say?" Cuntblaster is a correct answer. He never said it. It answers the question completely. You should specify further if you're looking for a specific answer.
farcedsed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:26:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I probably wouldn't have asked the question written that way, but if I did, it still ignores context of the class and assignment, which is necessary to answer the question.
brickmaster32000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What context? It was a random question tacked on meaning it was probably not discussed earlier either. While the student picked a cheeky answer there are plenty of other things that would be perfectly reasonable to assume the teacher might be thinking of. I don't believe Gollum ever says either ring or you, both of which speak just as much about his state of mind yet by your narrow definition you would have marked wrong because you expect students to psychically know exactly what your first thought was.
farcedsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it a random question tacked on? Do you have evidence for that?
Also, "Ring" and "You" if true, I'd definitely give points for, since they are within the context of the book and have significance to the character of gollum. However, "pumpernickel" does not.
Although, after the edit (which I didn't read) for an extra credit question I would be significantly more lenient with my points there. That doesn't change the fact, that the answer should be related to the context of the class itself.
some1lovesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never said "I banged fatcedsed's mom". But that is still true
farcedsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Farcedsed*
some1lovesu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My apoligies
farcedsed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem at all, typos are normal.
Ekudar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multiple ? That questions has thousands of correct answers.
Disproves ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 02:02:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kay.
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:03:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did you know kay is cuntblaster ammunition, precious?
sharris2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but damn that word just got me. Cuntbluster. Hahahahahhah.
SuperC142 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was "blaster", but I think "bluster" might actually be funnier.
Eurynom0s ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:18:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still a stupidly open-ended question.
PM_YOUR_WALLPAPER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did in the second LOTR though.
mathent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still wouldn't be an open ended question
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today was the first day I ever said "cuntblaster". I feel like the previous 4 decades have been mostly a waste. But, man, I'm really looking forward to the future.
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:32:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say it loud and proud.
thepensivepoet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:50:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once named a fictional island for a geography class "Fuckoffia" and got sent to the principal's office. Pretty sure that was the first time I knew I was being punished for something the principal thought was funny and not that big of a deal.
KbhRS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:42:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about NI**ER
HookersForDahl2017 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he does call Samewise that but he drops the hard R.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
saltysteph ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:48:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.
Ggoossee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:21:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never heard him say "cock garage" either.
denimpanzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you haven't read the unabridged version.
Just_A_Faze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it was discussed in class and analyzed. I regularly ask questions on the test based on discussion or close reading we have done together.
MsCNO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this and am still laughing minutes later
IamAlwaysRightToo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for bringing cuntblaster to my life.
joker38 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been:
Cobbleking32486 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whom.
NFeKPo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd go with "u wat m8"
Frivolouscake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe? He gave it for pumpernickel.
XTheBlackSoulX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:52:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
bw1870 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Murial Proudfoot used to call Gollum "My Little Cuntblaster", affectionately, of course.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher probably discussed it in class
FpsAmerica902 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cus it was a bonus question. Most of the time bonus questions can only add points, not take them away
Ayverie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:43:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But you can still make it multiple choice and the kids just don't get any bonus points if they select the wrong answer. Just like if the kid writes the wrong answer, points aren't removed; they just don't get the bonus point.
capnofasinknship ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:35:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonus questions aren't multiple choice. It's tradition.
Ayverie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually had exams before where the bonus question was multiple choice. Is it untraditional, like you said? Definitely. And I totally agree with what you said; it is very untraditional. But it can still be used if a teacher really wants to.
Tbh, though, the wording of the question asked is a little too misleading and open-ended, multiple choice or not. I would have written down one of the riddles exchanged between Gollum and Bilbo and ask the kids to answer it for the bonus marks.
DragonEevee1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds way better, but may be seen less academia
elcheeserpuff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good point.
Frivolouscake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His bonus questions tended to be light and not particularly serious because we were the ones who begged him for them. He also asked about the 1994 Stanley Cup playoffs and grickle grass in the Lorax. The actual tests were far more literary.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if it were a multiple choice question, they'd need a huge list of choices. Huge.
PRMan99 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rangers in 7 over the Canucks.
atp2112 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also possibly correct to write "MATTEAU!!! MATTEAU!!! MATTEAU!!!"
AdamBertocci-Writer ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triccccksy student. Wasn't fair, was it, Precious, to give nassssty tricksssssy ansssswer to test quesssstion, gollum, gollum.
SaulGoodmanJD ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered
steelfrog ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 23:30:45 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one made me laugh.
BlackWhiteCat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too.
jeffbell ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:24:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Counterexample:
Anruz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gollum uses "I" quite a bit, even in the Hobbit. It's usually a sign that he's telling the truth.
A_Turkey_Named_Jive ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:10:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You read The Hobbit for Freshman English? In all honesty, how did that go over?
What were the lessons like? Did the students enjoy it?
Frivolouscake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school grade 9 was the second year of high school but yeah- our teacher thought we could handle it. I mean, any book the where you all have to read it is going to get mixed reviews, but he was a cool and engaging teacher. I remember we wrote an epic poem about the journey and I feel like we had to discuss Englishy things like use of language, tone, atmosphere, etc and character discussions. It was quite a few years ago but I remember liking the class, even if I didn't love the book.
Prof_Lava-Hot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:07:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You went to a much cooler high school than I did.
kjata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was way too open-ended a question for "I" to be the "correct" answer.
Just like "what have I got in my pockets?", I suppose.
MisterWoodhouse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:45:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I" wasn't correct anyway. He says it during the riddles contest.
Thisishugh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he never said "antidisestablishmentarianism".
crutr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:53:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the question about the 94 playoffs?
(you can't just leave a Rangers fan hanging like that...)
Frivolouscake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do I cry myself to sleep every night?" Nah- the answer was 1994 to the question "When were the Canucks last in the playoffs?" (or something like that it's been a few years)
RTGold ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone say '94? Ranger fans unite!
RIPCountryMac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matteau! Matteau!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:18:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1994 Stanley Cup Playoffs, that was the year the final was cancelled right?
cries
atp2112 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there were 4 other times.
1919, 1982, 2005, and 2011.
TwoLastNamesGuy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:22:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A quiz on Tolkien and the NHL?? Those are my only two areas of expertise. I'm sad that i missed out on such a quiz.
SamT323 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1994 Stanley Cup Playoffs and The Lorax? What does Vancouver rioting have to do with excessive tree cutting?
Frivolouscake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean. They were two different bonus questions so nothing.
namelessfuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he say "Reddit"?
Allokit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, that sounds exactly like something I would have put in a test answer in Jr. High, even if fully well knowing the teacher was looking for "I" I would have put down something like "zucchini", or w/e because it's technically correct.
dark56korbit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rumpelstiltskin
Succ_My_Meme ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:36:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for the spoilers. now i know that Golem never says pumpernickel in the movie
Frivolouscake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He much prefers sourdough.
FreeEdgar_2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ring would have been a pretty solid answer too
Will000jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I studied the Hobbit in school
fullforce098 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:06:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?! You got to study awesome books like the Hobbit in 9th grade English? We had to read boring shit like the Scarlet Letter and The Pearl. I'm jelly as hell.
ca990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen? https://youtu.be/botdmsQilnU
blipsman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 9? Stanley Cup? Betting this is Canada...
Stevio51 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What we the question about the '94 playoffs?
Frivolouscake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why do I cry myself to sleep every night?" Nah- the answer was 1994 to the question "When were the Canucks last in the playoffs?" (or something like that it's been a few years)
Kahnspiracy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cliff Clavin on Jeopardy!.
raeleicester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:33:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sort of related, but my favorite bonus question I've ever seen on a test was in my undergraduate music history class. There was a picture of Bob Ross and the question was "Who is this man?"
dcoble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher at my school once put "Tell me everything you know about (topic)." on a test
It was just supposed to be a quick essay question, but one student wrote "I don't know anything about (topic)" and she had to give him full credit.
AngryRoboChicken ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of test is that... you're just supposed to memorize random trivia from the book?
Frivolouscake ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it was only the bonus question. The actual test was more "Englishy"
roarkish ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:20:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a college history class and one of the actual questions, not a bonus question, was "What was the name of Hammurabi's elephant?"
I turned in the test, stopped going to the class, and re-took it later with a different professor.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DonOntario ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except this was obviously in Canada.
DevsiK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edgy
chung_my_wang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that an "of course"?
What about "superconductor", or "piquant", or "millimeter", or "bicycle", or any of tens of thousands of other words Gollum never says?
Your teacher was teaching to the syllabus, or to the test, rather than teaching the students how to think or learn.
Pathetic.
Edit: Golly is actually quite a cute nickmame for Gollum, but I still hate autodiscorrect
Frivolouscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a bonus question meant for an easy mark asked off the cuff (as we all wanted one) at the end of a much more challenging test composed of multiple choice, short answer, and long answer questions. Let us pluck the panties out from in between our bum cheeks shall we?
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They thought hobbit at school? In my book they are winning at life.
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, some got it, others don't.
Fascist_Regime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of Karl Pilkington's, Father's friend, 'Jimmy the Hat'. Ricky: "why did they call him Jimmy the Hat?", Karl: "Because he never wears a hat"
Brilliant....
CowboyBoats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a terrible test question - "ring," because he calls it "my precious"? How is the student supposed to guess what word the teacher is thinking?
Ohsit524 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where the fuck did you go to school that you got to read the hobbit in class?! That sounds so much better than like Romeo and Juliet and The Scarlet Letter that I had to read
aaadmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the curious, was there any reason why?
Frivolouscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why he asked the question? We all wanted a bonus question and he was an indulgent man. The questions themselves weren't all that serious, so I imagine he wasn't particularly expecting the answers to be either. Other examples of bonus questions were "What was the year the Vancouver Canucks were last in the Stanley Cup playoffs (it was 1994 at the time)?" and "What sort of grass grows at the edge of town in The Lorax?"
aaadmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooppss, i mean gollum.. why does not he says "I"?
Frivolouscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sorry. Yeah I don't know much about the ins and outs of deep LOTR lore.
HomeyHotDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that was supposed to be a multiple choice question
Seth0105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the hardest I've laughed all day
jrm99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I studied the hobbit in 9th grade english. Or English in general. Love those books.
Evolving_Dore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never says string, right? Or nothing?
Matt-ayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the teacher also grade the test aloud to the class?
MrRandomSuperhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, my frist thought was 'Ring'. Everyone calls it 'the ring' at some point, but not gollum. I mean, I think, it's been ages since I saw the move.
zavatone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What common word
brickmaster32000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
green
TinyFriendlyMonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got to study fantasy novels?! Lucky! For some reason none of my schools ever got us studying fantasy novels. I always thought that was a bit shit.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question should have been what pronoun does he never use. There are tons of words he never uses.
Frivolouscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but the one guy who thought to be cheeky and give a false answer was given a full mark anyway.
yelow13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn our bonus questions are "learn to read korean, translate to English". Considered cheating if you knew Korean prior to the term
Edit: a computer science class in Canada, has nothing to do with the Korean language.
CuBu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you teach my kids (that I've yet to have)? In grade 9 English I was covering in depth the story of 12th night and it's meaning between the words written. We had the highest English marks in the area. But I would have killed to study the hobbit.
ChemicalCalypso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious
TopekaScienceGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How were you guys reading The Hobbit in school? I feel like our teacher would have been fired for that.
nermid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He gave a pretty Hobbity answer.
RhKawder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, that's a letter, not a word.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting I wonder if Gollum is an allegory for ego.
gordybernie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I either know this person or the person didn't actually read much of the book. The latter probably being more likely but ya never know right
Chieron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dumb American Question: What's a mark, in this context?
Frivolouscake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:03:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a point. As in, he marked the answer as correct and the kid got a "mark" toward his test total. I didn't realise that expression isn't in America.
The-red-Dane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I hereby willingly resign as president of Turkey".
lepusfelix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh swear word
happy_waldo87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering how many words Gollum doesn't say, that's your teacher's fault.
Like, he also never said kumquat, avocado, perpendicular, antidisestablishmentarianism, dreadlocks, hemp, marshmallow, cannabis, bench, superintendent, buffer, pizza, fiscal, donuts, vagina, truck, fellatio, swizzle, sommelier, hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, cunt... the list just goes on.
Frivolouscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean surely we can all understand that he was expecting a more contextually appropriate answer but gave credence to humour because he appreciated the kid's creativity.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Screw you! I had to study Of Mice And Men. Boring as hell!
lennon1230 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go Rangers
Rainhall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First word I thought of was "ring."
Ekudar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, what type of question is that?
maybenextday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 1994 Stanley Cup playoffs were the best of my life.
Ataniphor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait wtf yall got to study The Hobbit in 9th grade English? Just where the hell did you attend school?
wanf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you canadians and your "academics"
Verdun82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he does say "I." It is in the second sentence he says in The Hobbit.
kayyteaa ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the answer supposed to be?
Mizorath ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I", he was saying "We" instead(At least i think, never did read the english version)
MisterWoodhouse ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except that he said "I" during the riddles
Mizorath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my memory, it's possible, i just know he MOSTLY used "We", complain to the teacher for giving question and wanting wrong answer
Frivolouscake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that was the answer he was looking for.
kayyteaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh man i didn't even see you said it in the thing even though i read it a few times xD sorry!
TinuvieltheWolf ยท 462 points ยท Posted at 02:10:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see... One day, my opening question was, "If you could be any animal for a day, what animal would you be?"
One kid said, "Humans are animals."
Another kid said, "Technically, the devil's not an animal...so I'd be a faun."
Hates_escalators ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a baby deer or a satyr?
TinuvieltheWolf ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:16:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Satyr. The mythological (not-animal) kind.
igdub ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:48:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....
NonaSuomi282 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a beholder for a day might be fun..."
Dracomax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:28:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beholders are aberrations, not beasts, nor even animals.
NonaSuomi282 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if we're already making the jump that humans are animals, then "animal" in this context means "creature" and not "beast".
Dracomax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
look, I didn't write monster types. it's in the book, that's what I go by. If a druid can't shift into it, it ain't an animal.
shattersmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:13 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go into Master of Many Forms, shift into whatever the fuck you like.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not kidding but I think I was there... and I was the kid who said "Humans are animals" because I said that once
vitaly_artemiev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG, get destroyed!
comanecisalto ยท 36982 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sweet little 7-year-olds overheard a 5th grade boy say "Don't be fucking stupid" to his friend. They look up at me, eyes wide, and say, "Oooohhh, he said 'stupid!'"
[deleted] ยท 5041 points ยท Posted at 00:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was listening to a podcast about swearing, and this guy was saying that his daughter's class would just say "swear word" instead of actually swearing. But since swears are about context and emotion, the school ended up banning "swear word" because students were using it as a swear.
I was thinking about that when my nephew got mad at me for saying "stupid."
StayPuffGoomba ยท 719 points ยท Posted at 00:44:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the cuss did you just say? Are you cussing kidding me?
PicnicBasketSam ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 02:17:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally someone else who saw Fantastic Mr. Fox!
Hates_escalators ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:25:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the graffiti that just says 'Cuss'
ThePariah7 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:25:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one big clustercuss
StayPuffGoomba ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:47:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id type out the whistle cheek sound right now, but... I have no idea how to put it into words.
ANoNameIs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peuuuuuu
Chik chik
StayPuffGoomba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually pretty close.
ANoNameIs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:30:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True hell is spelling out a cough phonetically.
StillRadioactive ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cussing love that movie.
AndyWarwheels ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who cussing doesnt?
LiquidMariner ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:38:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorites. Not enough people know about this gem.
snuggle-butt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family watches it every Christmas now.
illyume ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The social circles I'm in, pretty much everyone knows about it... heh.
hellastarlord ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:21:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the furry.
Totally-anonymous ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the cuss did you just cussing say about me, you little swear word? Iโll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iโve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed bad words.
I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the cuss out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my cussing words.
You think you can get away with saying that poop to me over the Internet? Think again, cusser. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, dummy. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youโre cussing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bottom off the face of the continent, you little dingus. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your cussing tongue.
But you couldnโt, you didnโt, and now youโre paying the price, you stupid butthead. I will poop fury all over you and you will drown in it.
Youโre cussing dead, kiddo.
Akuur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone did above you
Norma5tacy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always think I can make it through one of these and then I lose it at "gorilla warfare".
loversalibi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:31:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you cussin' with me?
LightHouseMaster ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:45:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The cuss you are.
The cuss am I? are you cussing with me?
Vergiss-Uns-Nicht ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:47:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fun did you just funning say about me, you little bench?
Gonzostewie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You cussing with me?
caanthedalek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T YOU POINT AND CUSS AT ME
tstehler1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know a guy that says this
JayGarrick11929 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cuss yeah
bond___vagabond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those mother cluckers! (Our vice principal tried to ban us saying cluck as an alternative swear word. The school board laughed him out of the room. He was a power tripping, whiny little cluck.)
9bikes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should that be:
"What the swear word did you just say about me you little swear word? I'll have you know..." ?
friendsomewhere ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:48:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something 300 confirmed kills, something something top of my class in the Navy Seals, something something over 700 ways to something something and that's just with my something something.
tstehler1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:51:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3/10
Stratengar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me think someone should rewrite the navy seals copypasta but incorporate it like that.
femmerat ยท 4243 points ยท Posted at 00:21:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school we had a lot of banned words like this. "Smurf" was one of them, as well as the phrase "shallow and pedantic". This was the gifted class, too.
Real-Coach-Feratu ยท 4029 points ยท Posted at 00:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that "shallow and pedantic" was banned
Xtinguish ยท 2543 points ยท Posted at 00:41:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems pretty shallow and pedantic to me
JanVKes ยท 1555 points ยท Posted at 00:47:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hmm, I agree, shallow and pedantic." - Peter Griffin
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 383 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we all just appreciate this for the perfect example of irony that it is?
nephallux ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
isn't this why we're here? that's just shallow and pedantic
BlindfoldedNinja ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a towel!
ohmygod_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:54:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THAT IS SHALLOW and PEDANTIC YOUNG MAN.
Stoic_stone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like rain, on your wedding day.
runshadowfax ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 02:33:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh so now you're just going to talk down to everyone because you won a game of Trivial Pursuit?"
"perhaps..."
JumpingJays ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:31:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well Lois since you asked I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic."
Just_A_Faze ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:46:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to my students when they quote family guy and think I don't know.
This or cool whip, which a nice strong h in there.
BrianMcKinnon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:55:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-Michael Scott
HeadbangingLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was Patrick?
kaenneth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"nutty, with a hint of fruit."
linkletonsan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find this meatloaf rather shallow and pedantic.
-Abraham Lincoln
NonaSuomi282 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says "shallow and pedantic"!
FerrisWheelJunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Farva, what are the 2 words Peter Griffin uses when he's trying to sound smart?
pdxqdy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hmm, I agree, shallow and pedantic. - Peter Griffin" -Michael Scott
TheStupidZebra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude, there are kids here
SillyFlyGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a paddlin'.
tI-_-tI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It downright whomps
Xtinguish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did I bring back whomps? please make that a thing now
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf.
FallenPears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calm it bro children might be reading this.
DoverBoys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't sound like anything to me.
elitemember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would Smurf.
nomnommish ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a smurf.
ticktak10 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:21:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would feel more hurt if someone called me shallow and pedantic rather than asshole
Real-Coach-Feratu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:14:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not in the moment if it was heated enough, but that would be the one to keep me awake at night, slowly rotting away in a puddle of self loathing, never able to fully recover.
ubisoftsphantom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me toot thanks
probablyhrenrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shallow and semantic.
TheVeryMask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was the guiding principle when I was deciding how to talk: be effective. People tune out profanity.
BoP_BlueKite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a shallow and pedantic asshole!
Does that make you feel better or worse?
Teresa_Count ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insubordinate...and churlish.
RaeADropOfGoldenSun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:23:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a play last year where I had to say "churlish messenger" and it was SO HARD. It always came out like "churlish mesheshush....".
kahb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twelfth Night?
RaeADropOfGoldenSun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! Have you done Twelfth Night too? Or do you just have a superb memory of very specific Shakespearian phrases?
HowCouldUBMoHarkless ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He may have Google
kahb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't done Twelfth Night since I was about 10, but a couple of months ago I was helping my girlfriend practice that monologue for an audition and I guess the phrase stuck in my memory.
MarvelousComment ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wuz poppin my snp?
runningforpresident ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That word ticks me off. Every time I Google to see what it means, it tells me that it means having the quality of a pedant. I know it does this, but I forget every single time, right around the time I forget the definition of pedantic.
God dammit.
Real-Coach-Feratu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:40:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you google it, it says "having the quality of __" and you can't remember what that fucking word means either how so very helpful thank you google/dictionary.com
OctopusEyes ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:14:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pedantic: Having the quality of a pedant.
Pedant: A person who is pedantic.
paralog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:24:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
B-/ Actually, you'll find Google gives the definition of pedant as:
hamalily ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:45:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the clarification, pedant.
comady25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
listen here u little shit
IndubitablyPedantic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indubitably.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If those traits were banned here, Reddit would collapse inwards upon itself in a dramatic, first of its kind, scientific demonstration of the origins of a black hole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
INSUBORDINATE AND CHURLISH
SayoYasuda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that one hit to close to home? :D
Germanakzent ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Trump!
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 00:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the smurf up. Really?
phantom1942 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 02:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You SHALLOW AND PEDANTIC MOTHERFUCKERING SON OF A CUCKOLDED BITCH!!!! I WILL SEE YOU HANG FOR THIS YOU DAINTY WOOLHOUSED NO-GOOD CUNT SMURF!!!!!!
StochasticOoze ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:22:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You lost me with "woolhoused".
phantom1942 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:15:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I lost myself at that point and was just making stuff up. shrugs
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:01:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yet, it fits.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, let's ban that too.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:52:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
adamzep91 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the smurfing parking lot?
IdiotManChild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't smurf any smurf on the way to the parking lot!
trianuddah ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard the smurfs talk? Those little smurfers will smurf 'til they're blue in the face.
PM_Me_Your_Clones ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:18:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was smurfin' her in the smurf, right?" "In the smurf, on a first date?" "Oh, yeah, right in the smurf - this little smurf is a smurfer, she loves it straight in the smurf" "Well, smurf...so anything really smurfy about it?" "Nah, other than that, I just smurfed all over her smurfs, long story short we're going out for coffee (and probably a smurf or two) next week".
polarbears_toenails ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:48:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf yeah!
IdiotManChild ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a smurf like that...she liked it the smurfier the better. Smurfin' smurf.
GregoritsJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait to Smurf all over this Smurfing Smurf you Smurfing Smurf!
coconutwhisperer95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally busted out laughing ๐๐ญ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go smurf yourself.
[deleted] ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 00:34:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. One of ours was "sprinkle."
bolenboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was banana
kpquyont ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ours was "smack." (And in no, way, shape or form associated with drug lingo.)
LeBronald_McDonald ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:39:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow that womps
CanadianBunneh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs way more up votes.
Mattjbr2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Finster Ms Finster! LeBronald_McDonald said a bad word!
moloizer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can just imagine "shallow and pendatic" being banned in the krelboyne class on Malcolm in the Middle.
Bretagne ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my summer nerd camp we totally went through a Smurf phase. "Smurf you" "what the Smurf" "That's smurfing wild" "what the Smurf?" Man, we thought we were so cool and edgy. At nerd camp.
Doctor-Amazing ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:37:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids will run any phrase or joke into the ground so badly. It doesn't matter what it is. Once you've heard it 50 times per day, every day for 3 weeks, you'll want to ban pretty much anything.
UndercoverGovernment ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:08:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was your school James May?
Your_Space_Friend ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student when Revenge of the Nerds came out. We would randomly just shout "NERDS!!!" at each other like that one big guy in the movie. "Nerd" got banned. So people started shouting other words. "PEDANTS!!" caught on like wild fire, subsequently getting it banned as well lol
IthacanPenny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried to get my students (English language learners) to pick up "TROGLODYTES!" Hasn't caught on yet :-/
dutchguy94 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:12:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They weren't gifted, just smurfing.
hazelfoot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:33:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got written up in middle school for saying "what the function" whilst confused about an algebra problem. Next week I got another write up for making the finger guns gesture.
Aaaannd this is why I don't make jokes anymore.
Maegaa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:10:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deadletterauthor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:18:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That whomps.
adain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there comes a points, in every school, where shit just gets too stupid to deal with. When that happens the quiet and gifted ones team up with the loud and obnoxious ones. The resulting war of escalation has caused many a teacher to experience early onset baldness.
MsCynical ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SHITTAKE MUSHROOMS
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Family guy?
666uptheirons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Family guy?
spacemanspiff30 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell them to stop being so obtuse.
Rhamblings ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man this whomps
Alyssa_Kay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My entire grade managed to get a teacher so fired up over the term, "BOOM! ROASTED!" that they could no longer say it and had to invent "creative" alternatives like "toasted" and "sauteed"
ithinkiamaps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That wamps.
Merry_Pippins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I was really small for my age, and a bunch of kids called me smurf. I wish my school would have banned that word!
actual_factual_bear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school I knew a kid who would, whenever he wanted to say a swear word, would say "BEEP!" instead.
fuckyoubarry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, as a former middle school gifted kid you fucking dickheads were being annoying as shit with whatever autistic fucking phrase from the TV kept rattling around your heads and out your mouths constantly. It's not that there was anything inherently wrong with Smurf or Shallow and Pedantic, it's that you were saying it every 10 seconds until somebody stopped you because you were being annoying dickheads.
grawsby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:00:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the senior teachers in my high school got on parade to talk about swearing, he used the word "expletive" and talked about not saying "What an expletiving good game" or if you fall over trying not to say "OH EXPLETIVE!"
Yeah, the word expletive soon got banned too.
exper1ment626 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word "vicious" was banned in my class.
Cricket-Jiminy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why Smurf??
Vawqer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean, it is banned in the titles of r/GlobalOffensive. /s
Khaleesi_dany_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason ripoff was banned at my elementary school
Minecraft_Redstoning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ours was "mentally incapeable" and "failure"
landsharkgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I heard a kid calling another kid "shallow and pedantic", I'd be frickin' impressed. Like, Timmy over here dropping bombs!
DrunkVinnie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit my little sister had these same words banned at her middle school like 2 years ago.
HPGal3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ours was "Mufasa". Some kid actually got sent to the office for it
SuperciliousSnow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:18:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did your principal have black, mane-like hair and a scar over one eye?
HPGal3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha nope, but we apparently had a teacher who hadn't seen any popular movies in 3 decades
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really seems like this would inspire contempt in the pre-teen heart.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You either went to school with myself or a sibling of mine.
Drigr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gifted class explains why middle schoolers understood being pedantic
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But 'Smurf' is so flexibke. It can take the place of nearly any adjective or adverb. So sad.
Zer0DotFive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Smurfs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We couldn't say wenis
nuclearpunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think one of ours was banana. We got in so much shit if a kid whispered banana in class.
mr_jarvis666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We weren't aloud to say segregation in my class cause we would use it for anything
allyourcritbotthings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The very bright kids can come up with some of the best shit. Mimes were banned from my nerd camp after a mime problem my first year.
rick_or_morty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really whomps
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, both my kids are in AP, I can see the little fuckers getting words that aren't swears banned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle?
NarejED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that's shallow and pendantic'd up.
Double0dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurf being banned is hilarious. My second grade class was banned from using the phrase "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!!" We used to say it all the time after seeing those commercials so many times. I'm 32 so it was a bit ago
Spaceshipable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Angry Boys "Puck off!". Kids will always find a way to swear.
lurker_lurks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just say they are being obtuse...
nfsnobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you in class with the Crane brothers?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I apologise for my actions" was banned.
captainbluemuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah I'm gunna smurf on league--" gasps
blatantanomaly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in gifted in elementary school. I wasn't allowed to say "sea cow" or "beer bottle"...
Imanobv2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Runescape was banned in my elementary school, since we talked about nothing else
DanaKaZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the point then?
Like, at what point are you forced to admit that the words aren't bad, but the context and meaning is what you want to control?
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe they're just tired of hearing it all the time. you're gifted, get better material.
Death_is_real ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are really rules for Everything in American schools or ? No words banned in my schooltime in Germany we all sweared like little devil's
Morganithor ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know you're a gifted kid when you can immediately rationalize why "shallow and pedantic" was banned. Ugh. So much wordplay.
doppelwurzel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only 140+ IQ kids will get this
showmeurknuckleball ยท 509 points ยท Posted at 00:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to kick your swear word swear word you swear word swear word, and if you tell the teachers I don't give a swear word.
CanIGetANude ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pussy ass bitch
tI-_-tI ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expletive deleted
zkroak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the swear word did you just swearing wording say about me, you little swear word? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the swear word out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my swearing wording words. You think you can get away with saying that swear word to me over the Internet? Think again, swear worder. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, swear word. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre swearing wording dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your swear word off the face of the continent, you little swear word. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your swearing wording tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you swear word swear word. I will swear word fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre swearing wording dead, kiddo.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit dude calm down
xlivebythecreed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean holy swear word dude, calm down!
jackthelad07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I swear word I Swear, word.
OneTreePhil ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:26:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very prim girl in class that would always say "fudge" instead of swearing. So one day I cut myself pretty badly washing test tubes, and said the actual word right in front of her. We stared at each other for a second and then she quietly slipped to he back of the room. Moments later the back of the room was in an uproar - Did you hear what she said? She said a very bad word? Can we call her dad? etc She was adamant that since it was a quote, it did not have the emotion of a swear, so it did not count. So we let it calm down, and finished the lab, and I asked her, if saying it but not meaning it makes it not-a-swear, does saying "fudge" and meaning it make it actually a swear? Another long look, and a quiet, "Oh, fudge..." and honestly it was the last time she said it (around me at least).
festeringswine ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:11:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That whomps
hansfish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:14:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna be so mad if nobody brought this up.
Terra_Cotta_Pie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recess was my friggin jam as a kid!
BassInRI ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:22:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were playing soccer in high school gym once and someone kicked the ball and it hit me in the nuts so I yelled out "hey, that ball hit me in the nuts!" The teacher screamed "use proper terminology!" To me, that was an ok to say testicles, so for the rest of the class I kept saying "make sure you don't kick the ball near my testicles" and "I'm glad my testicles aren't hurting anymore" and "I wonder if I should wear a cup over my testicles for gym now?". I said it so many times the teacher gave me a 0 for the day and I didn't think that was fair since he was the one who told me to use proper terminology in the first place
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurfing hypocrite.
queenbitchaurora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing
Xtinguish ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that womps
JdPat04 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it doesn't matter what word you use in actuality as the context is all the same.
Duck you!
JayStar1213 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... They tried to ban context and emotion? How'd that work out?
MayorBee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smurfingly.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It seemed to go very poorly.
NSA_Chatbot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:07:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of years ago, I told my kids that there was no penalty for swearing in my house.
It sometimes sounds like Hit Girl is hanging out.
Zrk2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this was an episode of RECESS.
Terra_Cotta_Pie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are correct
Zrk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM GOD!
tweeters123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is anything real? Does anything ever actually happen?
Zrk2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, someone linked the episode. I was right.
tweeters123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are definitely right. I was talking about a ScooterinAB.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine it's a common topic.
1ly_here_cuz_itz_fun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me about when my school banned the word "ninja" cuz everyone started saying "hey my ninja!" or "what's up my ninja?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. :D
theoriginalsauce ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In kindergarten (1995) I got into trouble and sent home for saying "darnit" when the teacher skipped my turn to read at story time. Whore.
BlueCollarCriminal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:51:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'80s cartoons would have villains do a similar thing. I don't remember which ones (probably Skeletor), but I was taking to a friend about it years later how, when the hero had foiled the villain's plans, he would shout the word: "Curses!" Pretty ingenious way to go about cursing in a kids show.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember hearing that in Spiderman, the censors wouldn't allow "kill," so the villains always said they would "destroy" Spiderman. It gets around it, but it's really silly.
fluffenstein ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was playing a game with my family a few years ago, and my siblings and I started fighting. My mom told us that we were only allowed to say sweet and encouraging words to each other. So my little sister, who was about 7 or 8 at the time, turns to the rest of us and growls "sweet and encouraging words". It was amazing.
Varicoserally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They missed out on the perfect opportunity.
They should've called it "Home Work" instead of "Swear Word".
Have fun, teachers. Good luck banning that.
alisoncathleen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We got banned from using the word "grandma" as middle schoolers at a Christian school. You just can't keep us down.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, that womps.
mikachuu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like that whomps.
queenbitchaurora ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:32:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother's friend's 6-year-old daughter regularly visits our house, and one day she leans over to my mother and whispers "Auntie, do you know the S word?" My mother responds no, asks what it is. The girl whispers tentatively, "Well...I can't say it, but it's spelled s-t-u-p-i-d." My mom just kind of does a mock gasp and shakes her head in laughter.
The next day the girl comes up to my mom during dinner again, asks her if she knows the "F" word.
My mom's look of amusement lasts for about two seconds before the girl suddenly goes "fuck!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's important that we teach kids what swears mean so they don't incorrectly use them or get shocked when they hear them.
Beginning_End ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was raised weird, I suppose. My parents let me curse (my favorite movie growing up was Monty Python and The Holy Grail) but always made sure to tell me not to do it at school in front of the teachers, because they'd get mad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that's the reasonable way to deal with swearing. It's not that XYZ word is linguistic cancer. It's learning when and why you can say XYZ and when you can't.
Beginning_End ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bit more extreme. I think words are words. I work in an industry that relies on communication... But when I'm off the clock almost every other word is "fuck" or some variation
nut_blast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What podcast was it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Allusionist. It was one of the early episodes.
Freakychee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww that kinda Whomps.
JonnyMcNarwhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Ms Finster was right to give TJ detention for repeatedly using "Whomps" as a swear word?
FUCKSTORM420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the cuss
LeftHandBrewing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like the premise for a South Park episode.
Adekis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny- at my gradeschool you weren't allowed to say certain (in retrospect, sometimes arbitrary) words because of their meanings, not because you weren't allowed to be pissed off. You could say "crud" as angrily as you wanted, it still wouldn't get you in trouble like a casual, conversational use of "crap".
Entrancemperium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember confiding in my kindergarten teacher that I'd heard anothet teacher swear. She had literally said "I swear..." (don't remember the rest) but I was shocked when I heard it
bennitori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At a summer camp I worked at, the kids learned all their swear words from youtube videos. So they'd just say "Stop that beep" or "what the beep." Like the word "beep" was a swear word.
marblesmouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my fupping spot! https://youtu.be/5ix0yl5lKw0
Klye14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't say "swear word" without accidentally saying squidward. I think they should go on to using that as a swear word imo
msdesireeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom and I call each other "bad word"
As in, "have you eaten today? What's wrong with you, you're being a real bad word."
saltypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the swear word out of here
Werxes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, cuss.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What podcast?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Allusionist. It was one of the early episodes.
robolink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up I never got in trouble for using cuss words but i had a REALLY hard time learning them.
Like i think I was 9 before i figured out any of the real ones, was stuck with "crap" and "ass" all the way up until middle school.
Snarls_Bukowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said heck at school the other day, a kid said I said a bad word. Heck..
ohmygod_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the frick
MapReston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter is convinced "Fudge" means something bad because the context where it was used in a tv show.
imatoiletbowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone paste the Navy seal copypasta but replace the bad words with "swear word"?
notsowise23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When schools are teaching stupidity like this, something is wrong.
hopingforabetterpast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that kids, is why you don't ban words OR emotions.
ichellemz9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had "mother goose" banned because it was too close to "mother trucker". We also had cut off sleeves taken away and the word "mom" because they kept hearing,"bomb".
iPundemic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that rather than actually cursing he just said 'cuss', and boy did he say cuss a lot.
rotll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Snap!!
TheTrekkie1701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any chance of a link to this podcast? I seem oddly intrigued!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's called the Allusionist. I don't remember which episode it was, but I think it was one of the first ones.
TheTrekkie1701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
Clark2312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with adults with intellectual disibilities and one of my clients LB really hates swearing and any time TD swore LB would get really mad so brilliant TD stops saying 'fuck off" and starts saying in quick hot anger "LB" is so much more effective and meaningful but isn't technically swearing.
QuailMail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that really whomps.
majortom22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What the cuss?"
walesmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of reminds me of my middle school. Late 90s, for some reason running around with a bag of KoolAid and eating it was a fad (right there next to ripped up jeans and Pearl Jam). Bags of KoolAid were banned from my school as a "turkey drug".
Apparently "turkey drug" meant consumable substance that was a disruption to the normal state of order.
We also had to hide our pog playing behind some random classroom.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. That was elementary for me.
TheBananaKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Shut up, you gendered slur"
rick_or_morty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That really whomps
alsal94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the cuss? That's so cussing dumb on the school's part.
Lakonthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to teach those kids about SQUANCH
RampantEnthusiasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The podcast in question is called "The Allusionist", for those wondering. It's excellent.
Mrwilburanne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but my son got in trouble in 4th grade for saying something (not someone) was "derpy". He argued that "derp" was not a swear. They banned it anyway.
entenkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By that standard, if you say "fuck", but you use it like any other normal word, you shouldn't get into trouble. Like if you said plainly, "I saw two dogs fucking on the side of the road." If you're going by context and emotion, then that should have the same penalty as saying, "I saw two dogs having sexual intercourse on the side of the road."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:45 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on where it was said, you might get in trouble for saying either one, since both phrases could be seen as inappropriate... which is the way it should be. Words are just words, after all.
Actionmaths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a swear word stupid rule.
Draconfound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents banned me from ever saying "mustard" for similar reasons. Made asking family members to pass condiments slightly more inconvenient.
qazmoqwerty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Canadian :P
jgzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why banning swear words is about bloody stupid.
djinnisequoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have GOT to be kidding me! That is stark raving batshit! You cannot ever do away with said context and emotion. It is part of the human condition. The most you can hope for is concessions for polite company. We NEED swear words!
altbekannt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The board of that school is fucking retarded.
captainbluemuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My chinese teacher used to get super mad at the word stupid. Real exchange:
erin: "This assignment is stupid!"
teacher "Hey!"
tom "Yeah, don't fucking say that erin"
teacher nods in agreement
Reverissa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What podcast, for interest? I need a new back catalog to listen to of stuff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Allusionist. It was one of the early episodes.
Jackisback123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like MPs trying to avoid unparliamentary language.
Terminological inexactitude = lie
Being economical with the truth = lying by omission
Tired and emotional = intoxicated
and
imadandylion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's why banning words is fucking stupid. Teach kids not to be cunts, don't just say "words are bad". No word is inherently bad, intent and context makes them bad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my adult students just asked me to explain "fuck you" last night, and I almost derailed the whole class. I went on to explain the same thing; it's about the intent and the context, not the word.
the_number_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's little brother used to self-censor. When he got mad and started yelling, he would say "BEEP" instead of actually swearing. For example, he would yell, "BEEP YOU!" before storming off.
Somewhat related, his parents barred him from watching Happy Gilmore because he picked up a bit too much profanity.
notmebutjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:13 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats... like saying you cant say voldamort nor "the one who cannot be named"
knomho ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck would anyone listen to a podcast about swearing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it was fucking interesting. It's a podcast about the history and usage on language.
throwaway_lmkg ยท 8135 points ยท Posted at 23:08:22 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredible.
PrissySkittles ยท 4563 points ยท Posted at 23:38:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught in a K-8 school- this makes sense... We had a teacher who was shooting the breeze in the hall with a 7th grader say, "No way! Shut up!" in a joking manner. Kindergarten class was lined up in same hallway & one little girl turns to the next person in line, does the loud you're-in-trouble inhale, and says, "He said the S word!"
sexdrugsjokes ยท 914 points ยท Posted at 00:49:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had my next door neighbour kid come to me and tell me about how he learned the "c" word in school. He was grade 6ish. I was like "okay .... whisper it to me". It was Crap. All was well with the world and I let him continue believing what he thought he knew.
moloizer ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He learned "crap" in grade 6? "Blowjob" was the word of the year when I was in the sixth grade.
HeroicallyNude ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:33:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know what that meant until 8th grade, and for half the year I'm pretty sure I thought it was something to do with a hair dryer/blow drying your hair...needless to say I was not on the receiving end of any blowjobs that year, unlike a few of my peers (from what I later heard anyway).
yourmansconnect ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol what? I feel like sex was rare in 8th grade but blowies were going around like hotcakes
Served_In_Bleach ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:46:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you go to a school for hookers?
yourmansconnect ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:00:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.its not that weird I lost my virginity freshman year, but in 8th grade parties kids would get drunk pretty easily and have make out sessions
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:58:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jusjerm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitely two years too young.
abrasiveteapot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends what country you live in (assuming you're both the same age).
ZigZag3123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not acceptable to get a blowie until sophomore year in high school? You do realize that's 15 and 16 years old, right? And that 15 year olds have been having sex since the dawn of time?
jusjerm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm opposed to 13 and 14 year olds having sexual relations. That is way too young.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA. I distinctly remember playing the penis game with my friends in 6th grade. There wasn't a curse word we didn't know back then.
Just to clarify, the penis game is where you take turns saying the word penis just a bit louder each time. The person who says it the loudest wins.
IndoDovahkiin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penis
tsemitakcev ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PENIS
fez1o1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PENIS
alexbhood ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids cursed like sailors long before I made it to 6th grade.
LonleyViolist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:02:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother's in sixth grade and called me a "fucking shitty shit" yesterday. A for effort?
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
because Clinton? Same here...
moloizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yup.
eric5949 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was rubber here.
A_wild_gold_magikarp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:53:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not smegma?
purplepenguin4163 ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 02:03:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile in Australia.....
innuentendo64 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In year six or seven, Australia Luke had just pushed in line or something like that. Told Luke he was a cunt Luke cried and told the teacher he was a cunt. Luke was still a cunt last time i checked.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know an Aussie who was in the states for a transfer student thing, and he says he regularly heard kids screaming that particular word for whatever reason.
innuentendo64 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:00:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fucked up thing is you dont even realize how much you say fuck and cunt until youre around people who dont say fuck and cunt.
just casually slip "that fucken cunt with the red hat" or "fuck, that cunt's got some dardy nike's" around the wrong people and you can tell their asshole is puckering up.
Saint947 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:15:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The doctor in the delivery room: "Awww look at this sweet lil cant rooi'eeah!"
๐
Activedesign ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:07:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't allowed to say crap as a kid
-del2phi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:46:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither.
Fart, crap, sucks, snot, and butt were forbidden for me to use in front of my parents.
ministarr ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:32:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. The difficult thing was that my maiden name is actually "Butt", but we weren't allowed to say that word unless we were referring to our last name.
Emerphish ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents go decidedly too far.
The_cynical_panther ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:02:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
School must have been hell for you
ministarr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:15:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully, I didn't get too much garbage from school mates, as I was homeschooled for the majority of my student years, but let's just say that I was the "butt" of the jokes that my friends made.... It also didn't help that my mother was proud of her married name, so she had no problem calling out "get in the van, all my little butts" when we were in public places.
-del2phi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:02:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry for the teasing and jokes you must have been the... subject of as a kid.
ministarr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(See my above reply to u/The_cynical_panther.) :D
Edit: Let me just add that I was very happy to take on a more normal name once I got married. ;)
-kittrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did your parents ever tell you the reasoning behind this? I just got "these are naughty words, stop questioning mummy". These are not even vaguely naughty words, what gives?
-del2phi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents thought they were crass.
FriedCockatoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was maybe 6 when I screamed "SHIT!!!" while my brothers told me to shut up and not say that ever ever again. My reply: but that's what mommy always says
BladeRuner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:12:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my very first words was 'bugger' in front of my mum's friends
shattersmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:16 on June 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was 8ish and my gran was bugging me about something. So I said "Stop bugging me, you bugger!" thinking it just meant someone who was bugging you.
Very religious grandparents. It didn't go down well.
ChocPineapple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be entirely honest, that c word is still off limits for me. ...I'm in college.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the only cuss word that's actually bad in my opinion is the n word
totomaya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that crap was the creepy word for the longest time. Like until college.
DuplexFields ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sisters and I could say "crud," but "crap" was off limits.
Also, we used to "claim" the front seat of the car. (I got the idea from DuckTales, from the Yukon episode.) When that became the source of fights, "claim" was banned. Within a week, we would "call" it instead.
dzzi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Crud" sounds infinitely worse than "crap" to me, no idea why though.
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It took me several minutes just now to realize what the actual "c-word" would be.
It's still confusing for children. He may have picked up to put his c-word in a girl's v-word. You better hope he doesn't stuff her with crap.
Bit ridiculous anyway to have so many different '... - words".
xGeovanni ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:33:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, do you think the c-word is "cock"?
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god, it isn't? It doesn't work if there are multiple words with the same letter!!
The_Squirtle_Squad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:22:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you! It's cunt just for clarification. You daft cunt
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So cock is the P-word?
newguy2445 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:25:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock isn't any-word you
nincompoopn-wordtheAlpacaLives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just say the n-word like that, you d-word head. I mean 'dumb' Don't tell teacher
Baardhooft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the other C word?
sexdrugsjokes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt?
Jolibean45 ยท 3658 points ยท Posted at 23:53:56 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up I thought the F-word was "fart" because I wasn't allowed to say it, it started with f and had four letters.
Since I know people will ask, we called farts "stinkies." I have no idea why that was better than fart. I even brought it up in front of my mom once and she didn't say anything. She thought it was funny, but no insight into the problem with saying fart.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 8128 points ยท Posted at 00:58:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made us call them toots. I once accidently farted in front of my friends AS AN ADULT and said "Oh no I tooted!"... One of my friends laughed so hard they actually pissed themselves. I will never live it down.
88Wolves ยท 4959 points ยท Posted at 01:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My father, who cusses like a sailor, has always used the word "spoot." Which to me sounds dirtier than either fart or toot. No idea why.
When my middle child (now seven) was a toddler, he used to announce, "My butt sneezed!" We still use that sometimes.
NuM3R1K ยท 2003 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think spoot sounds worse because it sounds wetter than toot.
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 03:13:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's probably it. Gives it a real moist sound.
SerCiddy ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 03:41:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can just feel it trickle out of your mouth as you make the s sound.
mhac009 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:23:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a sputtering toot. Spoot.
MetaTater ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 03:38:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, the 'toot' equivalent of 'shart'.
MerryMisanthrope ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:48:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never had a problem with that word until that show.
Alaskan_Thunder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
moist cookies.
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Auuugh...
FNGPete ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mnmn. Butt Dribblins...
kwllstory ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's even got the word poo in it.
brxn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:35:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot sounds like something you gotta go to medical school to treat and it was never covered until Obamacare.
King_Jaahn ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My spoot tooting baby is driving me crazy
antmars ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:23:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly why.
KryptoniteDong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:53:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about schloot? ๐
88Wolves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. That's exactly why I cringe whenever he uses it.
BigAzzLeprechaun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The letter S is a wet letter
limpinfrompimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moistier*
bossfoundmyacct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, it has such a moist sound to it.
spielplatz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sploot is either a shart or baby poop in my family.
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds loke a portemanteau of "spooge toot", like you see during gape vids.
sobrique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like a cross between a spurt and a toot. Yeah.
awesomehuder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is it a univeral thing because i thougt it, too
[deleted] ยท 1042 points ยท Posted at 02:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece at 3 proclaimed "I have poopies in my nose".
We had a brief moment of panic before realizing she meant snot.
meurl ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily in Thai the bodily gunks are all some kind of shit.. Eye shit, nose shit, throat shit, and shit
idi0tf0wl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:47:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar in Japanese.
nitori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar in Cantonese
hereforthecommentz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:02:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In French, boogers are known as crottes de nez - literally translated: nose turds.
jeansandatanktop ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them Hiney Burps!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that is the first time Reddit has made me cry laughing! Thanks for sharing.
baby_corn_is_corn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought she might have smelled shit.
alialibobali ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:11:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A woman I worked with once said "oops I pooted" and I truly thought that was her more polite way of saying sharted. The casual way that she said it was even more terrifying.
Jtgm041411 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sons and I use the word poots. They really get a kick out of it when somebody lets one rip and I tell them "stop stinking up my house, Poot McPooterson."
paprikashi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:59:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Toots McGoots in our house
lets_trade_pikmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poots on newts?
TalkToTheGirl ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:40:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that says "bless you" if he hears anyone fart.
He also tells me to "shut up" if I sneeze, so he's kind of a mixed bag.
Alphabunsquad ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:16:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather calls butt dials "butt farts" for some reason, so we will often get a phone call and we'll say "Hello? Hello?" and then hear "Huh...? Hello? Oh dear, I seem to have just butt farted you."
p_a_schal ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot makes me want to watch Angry Beavers
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was searching for an Angry Beavers response to this. It should not have been this far down!
88Wolves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm older than Angry Beavers, though, and he's been using it my entire life! But I will say, that was the first "outside" use of the term I ever heard.
zugunruh3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I was driving myself crazy trying to remember where I had heard spoot (and spooty).
connorblikre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid spooty salmon!
PM_ME_BABY_PITBULLS ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:02:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother used to say "My heinie quacked!"
kooarbiter ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:09:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aaaaand I'm gonna steal that
meluckycharms123 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:21:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is spoot like a PC shart?
Nesuniken ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know computers could do that...
meluckycharms123 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:02:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure my PC does this when I try and play Battlefield on max settings.
NAVI_WORLD_INC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:00:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
SecretAsianMann ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My three-year-old nephew came out of the bathroom with tears streaming down his face once. Yelled "my butt's broken!" He was constipated.
POOPdiver ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a sailor, and I also cuss like myself... I enjoy telling people I'm going to tinkle to see their reactions. Sometimes I go full bore and say I'm going twinkle twankle.
1SweetChuck ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:54:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle, who was a sailor, whenever anyone farted, would say "Commander who?"
(I stole this from George Carlin, he wasn't my uncle.)
Found_my_username ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:22:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my house we announce it as, "Do you smell popcorn?"
intense sniffing typically follows
Mysta02 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:20:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We always called them butt burps.
zyco_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:24:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family uses "poof". I never realized until now that we weren't the only family to use an alternate word. My brother and I have moved to just using fart though. Just not around mom
ajustice83 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:06:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher long ago in jr high tell everyone if they needed to fart, to step outside first.
He didn't say fart though. He said "fluff".
The gay rumors started about him immediately after that.
ministarr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family used "fluff" too. As you can imagine, I was always way too amused when I heard anything being described as "fluffy".
Da_Boom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mum used to joke did you just pull a fluffy off the chain?
eyemadeanaccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My xgfs family called them "foof"s it didn't sound as unpleasant and was kinda funny. Reminds me of a cute little bunny farting.
spankybianky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foof is a pretty common name for lady parts here in the UK!
eyemadeanaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so is fanny which means butt over here. Y'all weird.
DylanTheVillian1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:15:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the beginning of the Brother-Sister alliance. It takes many years of name calling and tattling before this can begin, but it is a valuable weapon.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:22:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was having an incredibly shitty, bourbon requiring type of day.
But you, sir or madam, just made it all better. Thank you for making me snortle
ZombiexBunnies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad I could be of service.
Yizzak ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young my babysitter didn't want us kids saying fart. Instead we had to use the word "pooter". Like, "like oops I just pootered." If you ask me, pooter sounds a thousand times worse than fart.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:26:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pooter is what my mom made us call our vaginas. Like "don't forget to wipe your pooter!"
otis_the_drunk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a grown ass man and I will be using that just for the lolz.
marzolian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My little sister once said, "I sneezed through my heinie!"
newstuph ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:12:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You spooty be-a-ver.
AkemiDawn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My two-year-old sometimes announces "I've got a bug in my butt!" when he has to fart or poop. I have no idea where that came from.
Apod1991 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:45:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a few kids call farts "bum burps".
eyemadeanaccount ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:30:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the windoooooooww (to the window)
To the wall (to the wall)
That spoot vibrates my balls (my balls)
All these bitches cough (cough)
To all spoot spoot motherfucker (motherfucker)
All spoot spoot, goddamn! (goddamn)
To all spoot spoot motherfucker (motherfucker)
All spoot spoot, goddamn! (goddamn)
hebruiser79 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family has always called farts "Zuts". One can zut, have zutted or be in the process of zutting. It came from my mother reacting to bad guys in old movies wearing "zoot suits". Apparently they looked like people who farted a lot to her.
AHuxl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my oldest first heard himself fart he said "My bottom burped!", which we still use because it's hilarious. BUT when he actually burped as a toddler he said "Mama! I did a bottom burp out of my mouth!" It took 5 years to convince him that it's called just a plain "burp".
gigabytegary ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:30:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has always called them "barking spiders..." No idea why.
AHuxl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:37:12 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg my mom uses the same completely random term for farts! I feel fantastic knowing Im not the only one! lol
taterhotdish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 3 year old little girl with blonde curls, I walked into a room at a family gathering and said "excuse me" but the adults didn't mind me. I said it again, "excuse me"... Nothing.
So I walked in further, hands on hips, and shouted, "EXCUSE ME!"
finally, silence. My mom said," what, sweetheart?" I said, "I tooted in the other room but there was nobody to say you're excused" my mom excused me and I went off happily to play.
And they told that story for the next 10 years .
I have no idea why we did it that way.
(*toot)
"excuse me"
"you're excused"
Seems really weird from today's perspective.
E:formatting
spootypuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I approve of spoot
ThatFlappingTerror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg, that's one of the funniest things I've heard in ages!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my husband had a student who used the word "poot"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
88Wolves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually older than Angry Beavers... So growing up, it had no reference. You can imagine the mixed emotions I felt when I heard it on TV for the first time. Still cringed, but felt less alone. Haha.
IWantALargeFarva ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother used to say he coughed in his pants, and it was freaking adorable.
GCB78 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's toddler will fart, look stunned, and proclaim with a look of wonder "My bum is talking!"
Ggoossee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spooting is way dirtier then tooting. Let me tell you what.
FloozieManChoosie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my tween was a tot she farted and called it a butt burp. That is, in fact, exactly what it is.
nomnommish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot. When you shart, but it is still cute.
throwawayHASHTAG1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband used to call them "poot"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im in my late 30's and I think I'm going to use that line the next time my girlfriend farts.
iamreeterskeeter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. When we were potty training my niece, we would ask her if she needed to go potty. Since she was two, she would immediately say "no." We would ask again if she was REALLY sure she didn't need to go potty. She would get exasperated and say, "There's no poop in my butt!"
Ooookay, I believe you kid.
rainbowbrite07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I was out with my mom and I had to go to the bathroom, sometimes she would ask me "do you have to go bad?" Somehow I thought "I gotta go to the bathroom bad" meant that I had to poop, not that I needed to go right away.
fjodsk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot sounds weirdly Irish....
surRIELwhoa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to watch The Angry Beavers. It's a cartoon show and their swear word is 'spoot'
88Wolves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when that show came out. It made me slightly less self-conscious about my dad's choice of words.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sure that wasn't Ralphie from the Simpsons?
ConsiderMeFucked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello from Bob's Burgers my name is Eugene.
raendrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in American Sign Language, "fart" is
butt-burp.jturlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them "ducks" when I was little. In context, "Mom, I did a duck. Excuse me." I had no idea where it had come from until years later when I heard a dad make joke after farting audibly: "Is there a duck loose around here? ...Ha! That always quacks me up"
kebechette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend's youngest (3) got a wedgie for the first time from his big sister and proclaimed "Oh no! What did you do to my butt?!"
Revolver2303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has the word 'poo' in it, which just sounds... unfinished.
StonerJamz5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So when you fart and sneeze at the same time, are you just sneezing from both ends?
abcedarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once said "I burped out of my butt"... Maybe they are onto something.
Ninja_rooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best thing I've seen all day. It shall forever be a "butt sneeze" now.
wannabesq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with someone whose username (first initial last name) was spoot...
woah_hoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My butt burped." -My 3 year old
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot? Dag, Norb, is that you?!
Noblehammer16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tushy burp.
TheLightingGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never trust a spoot.
BevoDDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend and I used to have a metal band named Anal Sneeze.
panthera213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so using this!
neverendum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds Scottish.
spielplatz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly different, but in my family we call baby poop sploot.
crwlngkngsnk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest nephew would tell on you. He'd say "Your butt burped".
MagicalCMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Spoot" sounds like "spooge."
Junipermuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister said her "bottom rumbled." That's what ended up sticking at our house, and it's what we say in my house with my husband and kids to this day.
brotherenigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Butt sneeze" is a surprisingly accurate description, now that I think about it.
shibbyknibby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife taught my 2 daughters to call them "poots". I think I like spoot better. Although, I really don't see what the problem with fart is, but she won't let them use it...
MrPisster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your father a ill-tempered beaver?
pinkhair1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid my dad and his friends taught us that farts were called trousers burps
koshki4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We always used "sproot"
Gadsden6771 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my 4th grade teacher telling us that when her son (a toddler) farted he would say, "my butt burped."
-kittrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have to say "bottom burp" (also wasn't allowed to say bum, but was allowed to say butt? parents are weird).
Jojojoeyjnr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called it a fluff. As in "Jimmy, have you fluffed?" honestly thought that was what everyone called it until I was in my 20s
jwaterworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used to call them pongies
PM-ME-YO-TITTAYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's because it sounds like jizzing.
mossling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After once farting in the bathtub and seeing the bubbles, my daughter was convinced there were bubbles every time she farted. She would announce very loudly, "MOMMY! MY BUTT JUST MADE BUBBLES", making sure everyone around knew. She's 9 nine, and we still some times call them butt bubbles.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something Ralph Wiggum would say.
BLACKMACH1NE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be fucking stupid.
Geruvah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder if he's an Angry Beavers fan.
IShotHonestAbe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spoot! Angry Beavers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mtj0ZgC_dJo
marsrisingnow ยท 608 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Edit: FTFM per FTFY below
SpatiallyRendering ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 01:59:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to cancel the quote hit enter twice before the word outside the quote
FTFY
marsrisingnow ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:13:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoting for the respectful yet still slightly smart ass correction
Mr_Roblcopter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:21:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait why did you change "so" to "to" though?
sealedinterface ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:09:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/SpatiallyRendering
FTFY
call_of_the_while ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THREE FTFY
ZombiexBunnies ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:12:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would think it would work that way, but no. Pissing yourself is apperently irrelevant in such a situation.
marsrisingnow ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You said tooted!!!!
ZombiexBunnies ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:27:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pissed himself! How is saying "tooted" worse!?
ThatDudeShadowK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:13:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beca-haha-because you said - haha *pisses self- you said "tooted"!
ZombiexBunnies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:31:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay maybe I've been viewing this all wrong. Maybe I've stumbled upon the one surefire way to make adults piss themselves and need to appreciate "toot" for the valuable weapon that it is.
mad87645 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because pissing yourself is a perfectly appropriate reaction to hearing an adult say "oh no, I tooted" in context to farting.
Apoplectic1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IHail SatanImodernbenoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No because nobody actually pissed themselves
calumwebb ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronoun doesn't agree with the subject here. He or She will never live it down
Soramke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That pronoun has been used like that in the English language for centuries, and is largely accepted in casual contexts (which would most definitely include most posts on Reddit) and increasingly accepted in formal contexts too.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except they is plural pronoun. "He or she will never live it down" is actually grammatically correct.
LordGhoul ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:11:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Singular "they" has been a thing for ages now, dude.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's commonly used doesn't make it grammatically correct, bro.
LordGhoul ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it is. Its been a thing since the 14th century you nut.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
16th century. Then it faded until just recently. So now it's semantics. At what point does something popular change the language? When Oxford decides so? They have a small caveat stating this is growing in popularity and is widely accepted. Does something widely accepted mean grammatically correct? I believe Elements of Style would state "he or she" is correct. AP style wouldn't let it slide. Silly.
LordGhoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/grammar/using-they-and-them-in-the-singular "a matter of opinion"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right. So we have four sources saying four different things. Like I just said, at what point does it become official? When Oxford says so? When Webster says so? When people write out regularly? When newspapers start writing that way? It's a flexible thing, dependent on what style your following.
You've made your point though. It's not enough of a rule to fix it in a comment. Got it. Pal.
LordGhoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:39:49 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, dude. And I'm sorry for some random people jumping into the convo causing drama when things were settled already. Guess some people just can't resist the urge to butt in even when they're late to the party.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:10:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's my fault for continuing to engage. Just a bad night for me. Keep it real, my brotha or sista. I suppose "my people" works too. Haha
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly it's just "whenever you say so," because you won't accept any other sources. The fact that there's a debate and some sources don't consider it grammatically correct doesn't really seem to be justification for getting all pedantic about it in a fucking Reddit comment. If you acknowledge that different sources have different opinions on the issue, why did you feel the need to correct somebody so unequivocally? You're certainly no more of an authority on it than Oxford, so get over yourself.
Speaking of grammar, it's "you're," not "your," in the context in which you used it. There's not even any debate over that one, it's pretty set in stone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, where did this come from? I was just having a conversation with LordGhoul about it. It really didn't seem hostile to me, and I just conceded that he or she was right! It's obviously not as set in stone a rule as I thought it was. Certainly not enough to correct someone's comment.
I'm not sure when I used your or you're though? I used "you've" for "you have".
The only thing that was even slightly confrontational was just calling each other dude and pal. I just thought it was funny in a kind of dickish condescending way.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your original comment was really condescending, despite the fact that you obviously didn't know what you were talking about. I just don't see why you felt the need to comment on anybody's grammar in the first place. Anyways, it was "dependent on what style your following."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't intend to be condescending. For the third and final time, I'll concede that it was an inappropriate place to be a stickler on such a flexible rule. Maybe it's more in the past, but Reddit used to have a lot of grammar corrections.
But I write professionally you degrading cunt, and I'm telling you that shit doesn't fly when you're trying to publish.
I'm not sure where you came from, or why you feel the need to dig your heels in on this, but I've already admitted I was out of line. Three times. So eat a dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've gone through some of your post history. You're a garden-variety asshole. You just like to shit all over everything. That's just the type of person you are.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really sure what you're referring to? I don't feel like I've been particularly hostile to you, but you're certainly being hostile now. The worst thing I've called you is "condescending." But I'm sure you didn't mean to be.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, don't pull out now. You've been an asshole. You can be an asshole without calling someone names. You shit all over me. Just because you could. You seem to do it a lot, actually. That's pretty much what you're on this website to do. That and bitch about your shit Starbucks job.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never felt the need to call anybody a cunt, though. In what universe did I shit all over you? I disagreed with you and said you were being condescending. God fucking forbid. I'm certainly not the only person here who's disagreed with you. Grow a thicker skin and stop cursing people out because you don't like what they have to say.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you're acting like a cunt. I'm not trying to take the higher ground like you're pretending to. I just need you to know that you're an asshole and you shit all over everything.
You weren't disagreeing with me, you were trying to rub salt into wounds. I conceded the point three times, and you still felt the need to shit all over the place. That's what assholes do. You're an asshole.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:25 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Again, I'm not sure where I shit all over you. I disagreed with you. That's all. Now you're being a dick to me about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:51 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of assholes don't realize they're assholes. Now fuck off.
Soramke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not just gonna stop replying because you order me to. Again, get over yourself. If you have no interest in continuing this conversation, then stop replying. If you do want to continue this conversation, then don't. It takes two people to have a conversation. You were an asshole in your original comment and you've continued to be an asshole since. You think I'm an asshole too? Fine, cool. But somehow you think that means I shouldn't respond to being called a cunt?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, you're right. It's late where I am. This isn't worth either of our time. I'm sorry I called you a cunt, that was uncalled for.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:41 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shouldn't have engaged. But thank you. :)
pitters_patters ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:15:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My very conservative mother was not a fan of the word "penis" and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, decided to call it a "piggle" instead.
You can imagine the shock on my face when one of my elementary teachers began reading a book to us entitled "Mrs. Piggle Wiggle."
decaturbadass ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:24:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wife and I are in our 50s and we toot
walkclothed ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not good for cardiovascular health, especially at that age.
1Marshall91 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:03:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beans rhyme begs to differ.
decaturbadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:13 on April 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Doc, I just shit the bed
actuallyarobot2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:16:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to start a political shitstorm, but my mum used to call them 'trumps', as in trumpet.
Sparkly1982 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the word we grew up with too. I think it's a British thing.
For some inexplicable reason, my mum always referred to going for a poo as "doing a Bob". I have no idea why, and no one else's family used that euphemism as far as I'm aware.
actuallyarobot2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not British, but quite close culturally. Never heard the Bob one!
ZombiexBunnies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like there was an unappreciated shart joke in there.
IdiotManChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately it's not a joke... :(
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Political shitstorm
JoeyTwoTones ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:17:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pulled one of those in High School. Told a fart story. Forgot where I was. Called it a poofer. ...God dammit...
mollierocket ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our kids (both under ten) call them that. I see this ^ episode in their future.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please dear god save them from the embarassment.
ddDeath_666 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:08:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, it's too funny, let it happen!
Beginning_End ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:17:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better about being awkwardly sheltered, I had a friend who referred to vaginas (he had sisters, so he wasn't completely unexposed) as "the front butt" until he was about 13.
He also wasn't allowed out after dark until he was 18.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:46:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AntTse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
really gives a whole new meaning to the 3 little pigs cause the wolf is huffing and puffing.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AntTse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha!
Kirsan_Raccoony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:05:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family calls them fluffs as well! Or, did, until we got old and moved out. "Whip until light and fluffy" for whipped cream or butter was always entertaining.
dratthecookies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got one for you... My brother and I used to say "bleep" instead of curse words. It was only when I rattled off a couple "bleeps" in college and saw the looks on my friends faces that I realized that was unusual.
illyume ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you cussing me!? You said cussing "bleep" instead of cusses?
dratthecookies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I love that movie! That's close to how I sounded...
CampFlogGnaw1991 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:48:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why would you say "oh no i tooted!" after farting? lmao
ZombiexBunnies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was so damned ingrained from childhood.
Guac_in_my_rarri ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dead... I really am. A long time friend did this, and It happened recently too. We were on the phone and his girlfriend was in the background. He ripped a ripe one, and said "oh no I tooted". Both his girlfriend and I started fucking dying. She and I laughed so hard that we both pissed ourselves. On another note he always forgets to try and get out of the habit of saying that. He's a real funny guy and it comes naturally. So saying "tooted" is normal for him. I die of laughter if not piss myself from laughing so hard at least once a year because I this.
DavidoftheDoell ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. HE peed his pants and YOU'LL never live it down? Lol.
theladycake ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:32:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 5, I called farts "farts," but my best friend called them "toots." We once got into an argument that went something like this:
Me: It's called a fart!
Friend: No, it's a toot!
Me: No, stupid, it's a fart (I was a mean child)
Friend: It's a toot!
Friend's mom comes into the room and calmly says in her best teacher voice: Actually, girls, it's called a flatulence.
We both thought the word "flatulence" was so funny that we totally forgot about our fight and spent the rest of the day yelling "FLATULENCE" at the top of our lungs. Kids are awesome lol.
atacms ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tooted is the equivalent of saying I need to "wee wee"
non-zer0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:28:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also have been personally victimized by having to call farts, toots. The shame is never-ending.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:36:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to start a support group.
IceArrows ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If someone said that to me I'd pee myself laughing too.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When and where?
illyume ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
IceArrows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully near a toilet to minimize mess.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Not allowed that mercy there bud.
IceArrows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang. How about black pants and a towel?
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
White pants, in public, you get a scarf.
34thGiraffe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:02:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always learned that boys tooted, girls whispered.
pgneal3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the guy who pissed himself has more reason to be embarrassed than you do from this scenario
NMJD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the upside, pissing yourself is way worse than farting in public so you expertly handed off the awkwardness there.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next time it's brought up mention that friend who pissed herself and they'll forget the tooting.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've tried it and he remains utterly unabashed.
Dutchdodo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then there's my grandmother who keeps telling a joke that ends with "look at that nice brown ass. -i already have that mom!" (works better in Dutch)
imakefilms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used to call them bang-bangs.
kaptant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean at least you didnt piss yourself in front of your friends
OldSpiceGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Toots are what I allow my kids(16+ yrs) to say. We can say fuck and mostly all the rest (I also don't like cunt or pussy) but fart just makes me cringe.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:02:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you ever consider how this could negatively affect them as adults when making such a life altering decision?
OldSpiceGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:18 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah, they get me and they respect that I just don't like it.
arbalete ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, like your 16 year old would get in trouble for saying "fart"?
OldSpiceGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:56 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha, no. They just know I don't like that word and they respect it. I have pretty good kids, even if they cuss a little.
ajustice83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece when she was little and had to poop said, "I have to boom".
My wife and I have adopted it. She thinks it sounds adorable. I just imagine a deafening sound explosion. Both accurate
burns__when__I__pee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They pissed themselves but you are the weirdo lol
Pomagranite16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also like to say toot. And I frequently ask for the potty. Yes, I am an adult, but I would still like to live my childhood dreams!
Truan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised you're the embarrassed one here
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like your friend who pissed himself will never live it down.
afakefox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily you shouldn't be nearly as embaressed as the friend who literally peed themselves, as a grown adult, laughing at the word "toot."
writesinlowercase ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
now now...you may have said tooted but they actually pissed themselves in public. i think you have something on them.
ss4johnny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just pissed myself.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for making me laugh on the train
warcrown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend does this with glee every time.
KimKimMRW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? The pants-pee-er wasn't made fun of more than you??
ceazah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, your friend actually pissed himself. How is that better than "oh no I tooted"
theatahhh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom would say flooter. Which just sounds gross. I imagine a smelly rotten egg fart just loosely floating out of a butthole.
sleepy_girlfriend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i feel like if my friend pissed himself id never let HIM live it down
married_to_a_reddito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made us say "poof". I taught my daughter "fart". My parents visited recently and there were flatulance word replacement shenanigans. Let's just say you can still get "in trouble" with your parents when you're in your mid thirties.
mista0sparkle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least your friend pissed them self to take the attention away from you.
Chaniatreides95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like you could easily shut down your friend that pissed themselves though
BuddyEndsleigh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, your friend pissed in their pants in this same story... isn't that more embarrassing?
Sample_Name ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:22:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So saying "tooted" is more embarrassing than literally pissing yourself?
Lets_go_ride_bikes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone use "shootybang"? No? Just me and my grammy? K...
Mousie5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them fluffs "who fluffed?"
ChimpChief59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are in this situation just own it. Only a douche would carry on the focus on it.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends are all douches.
PM_UR_HAIRY_MUFF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK, "to fart" can also be "to trump."
Feisty_Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100% this is my life. Even to this day I don't use the word "fart." It's always "passing gas." I can say "fuck," "shit," "piss," etc. all goddamn day. But the word "fart" makes me blush like a schoolgirl.
ukelele_pancakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents called them "boomies." Now that I think back, it's a really weird word and I'm glad I never picked that up as normal. After we had kids, we just said "gas" as a noun or a verb.
thresh_hold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or 'tooted a froggy' for long
ValKilmersLooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother made her children call it a "fluffy". They did a fluffy or fluffies.
TheSugarplumpFairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god are you me? My mom still calls them toots!
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I never expected to get gold for this. Well at least something good came out of it! Thank you!
Platypushat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call them ducks in our house. Like a duck quacking. I don't really know why.
-stuey- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
poop toot
NeonRoze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my house growing up, my mother always referred to them as "fluffs" - as in "Oops, I just fluffed. Excuse me" I've never heard anyone else say it. But I kinda like it. ... maybe I'll bring it back.
saleb_cims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally happened to me, I was at my friends house bouncing on a trampoline when I bounced off I hit the ground and it forced a fart out of me. I said "oh no, I tooted" I'm the second oldest out of 6 so I've been conditioned to use these words. My friends made me take shit for it for the rest of the school year.
johnnydakota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid I would say I "snapped".
I guess my child farts were quick and high pitched.
philssister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same thing in my family!
dragonqueeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom made us call them fanny-burps. I'm an adult now and she still uses that phrase to this day.
michaelk171 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fart was always banned in my house. Idk where the idea came from but we always called them "windy pops"
ryebread88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I've read all night
TXtattooedtaco22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had to say toot or poot! POOT. ๐
Mrsoberst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious to me, thank you
yo5hi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean he #1ed... no one likes a foul mouth
what-about-this-one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just laughed so hard i cried on a train lmao
winkw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 27 year old girlfriend still calls it that.
Jake0024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend pissed himself, and you're worried about living it down?
paprikashi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son once told me that "it wasn't poop, just bubbles." He also calls them "toots," and I'm not sure where that came from.
[deleted] ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 00:06:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we call the act of farting "bubbling."
coffeebugtravels ยท 320 points ยท Posted at 00:38:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad blames it on "the barking lawn moths." After he'd eaten something particularly disturbing, he said, "Those barking lawn moths! It must be mating season."
Anacon989 ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 01:09:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad stepped on A LOT of frogs.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always asked "Did you hear what that asshole said?"
It really wasn't any better than just saying "fart."
Quiltyconscience ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dying of laughter
2DixonCider ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:55:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The response I've always used is "yup. asshole's talking shit"
dunkster91 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:10:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ducks.
chulksmack360 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deer snort
neewom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Low-flying ducks, no less.
Giirish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine as well
Chrystal_Anne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle said there were a lot of barking spiders.
ZombiexBunnies ยท 359 points ยท Posted at 01:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are barking spiders according to my father.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:16:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always got "Ah the ducks are flying low tonight".
Kegstaff ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Canadian barking spider is found throughout North America
eyemadeanaccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
California barking spider
TerrestrialBird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Vietnamese barking spider as far as I'm concerned.
CeltiCfr0st ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:28:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad just blames my dog.
You'll see him lift his leg up, you'll hear it and then you'll hear "cmon duke thats not cool man"
chococandle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:12:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad calls them that too.
GiantRobotMonkey ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here we should start a club
ZombiexBunnies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Victims of barking spiders unite!
DrayKitty1331 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:20:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most definitely victim... My dad's barking spiders could peel paint off the wall after Mexican night
JdPat04 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:39:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullfrogs. "Who stepped on that bullfrog?!?"
AubinMagnus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:34:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always called them African barking spiders. I have no idea why African as we live in Canada.
anthologyofinterest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:58:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We actually have barking spiders in Australia I kid you not. They look like a leggy tarantula. The common one here is 'who stepoed on a frog?' Or a variation of that like 'bloody frogs, must be mating season.'
ejeebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an odd name. I'd have called them "chazzwozzers."
PM_Me_Your_Clones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Specifically Chinese Barking Spiders, at least according to my wife's grandfather.
outersplace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up around hundreds of barking spiders according to my grandfather and father, it's amazing how loud such little spiders can bark..
DrunkVinnie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
barking tree spiders according to my dad!
aevn910 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband too
Giirish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too
chung_my_wang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son?
gummibear049 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, my dad called them Alaskan barking spiders.
lannawho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were barking wall spiders at my house!
MightyMackinac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your dad, my dad? because that was always his goto. That or miniature elephants.
lladnekj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once when the Tennessee barking spiders were blamed, someone who had never heard of them said, "oh no! Are they poisonous?" She was assured that yes indeed, they're deadly poisonous!
suzerain17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn barking tree spiders...
Revolver2303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am a father.
jacestar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learned it as "Brown Eyed Barking spider" when i was in Boy Scouts
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barking spiders and, "Did someone step on a duck?" from my dad.
And thus, the art of "duck stomping" was born between me and my younger brother.
CheezIt624 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tennessee barking spiders around here!
The_Phox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll use different ones, depending on the sound.
About 3 weeks ago I farted and said to my 2.5 year old "Did you hear that duck?!?"
She then proceeded to walk around the apartment looking for the duck she now thinks is there, and making duck noises.
Jolibean45 ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 01:00:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad blamed barking spiders.
ibcrandy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is when I have to wonder if I'm replying to my kids on reddit...
sayyyNIGGER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all have dads? Man...
Certified_Pervert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first boss had a squeaky driveway
Taleya ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:35:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad constantly rails against the bastard who keeps farting in his jeans.
takethedamnfrisb33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends dad will say, "Holy shit, did you just hear that mouse on a motorcycle?"
LegendOfPublo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:40:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad blamed it on ducks.
ceruleanohara ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine blamed it on the loons.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at our house the "floors are getting squeaky." It's funnier at the grocery store on linoleum that's on concrete slab.
heyyoukid415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adopt me please your dad is adorable and mine goes to Burning Man
coffeebugtravels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK, but you have to call him "Happy," that's his "grandkid" name.
heyyoukid415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in!!! My name is Rose. Let me know where to show up for Thanksgiving.
coffeebugtravels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! My parents have an "open door, everyone's welcome" policy at their house for holidays. So if you showed up, they wouldn't think that was strange at all!
heyyoukid415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in San Francisco. You?
coffeebugtravels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Florida, but grew up (and my parents are still) in Washington, DC. But I was born in Oakland!
pojems ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband just has an elusive duck...
WhiteMagic18J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a bad case of barking spiders and crazy ducks that follow us around
tv_screen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
barking squirrels is what my dad had
ActualMemeSmuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Grandfather always goes "Ah the ducks are back"
coffeebugtravels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that my highest rated comment of all time is about farting!
DaisyDodleBug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad would say, " There goes that mouse on its motorcycle!"
coffeebugtravels ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awe! That reminds me of Ralph!
LonleyViolist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's always a duck in the house.
Jolibean45 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:37:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok you win. That just makes me think more of sharting than farting.
ItsNeu ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:30:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your school was thinking ahead. Setting up teachers to think it was farting, "there goes jimmy in the back of class bubbling again!"
ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ.
speaksamerican ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you do it
RockDicolus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add two more of \ and you'll be golden.
JuliManBruh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฏ\\_(ใ)_/ยฏ ?
RockDicolus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Equals ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
JuliManBruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah, ยฏ\\\(ใ)/ยฏ equals ยฏ\\\(ใ)/ยฏ
RockDicolus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No , well yes. But yours is wrong. If you actually typed what I did, minus the code block formating, you'd get it right.
Mysta02 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ยฏ\_/ยฏ\_/ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ\_/ยฏ\_/ยฏ
ItsNeu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are my elbows though...
BazaBaza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You dropped this \
IlIIllIIIllIllIllIll ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reminded of this family guy clip
matt2dlg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
serious question, how do you remember your username?
IlIIllIIIllIllIllIll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
password manager. (username and password were randomly generated)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your son Rip is on line toot.
GlitterberrySoup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We always did that only boys fart. Girls "sparkle". The first time I saw one of those little decorative signs that says "Leave a little sparkle everywhere you go" I almost died laughing.
pedrosneakyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to call it 'beefing' in primary/elementary school...
wdh662 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my mother in law calls it fluffing.
chopper640 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my 10 year old was 4-5 years old, he would call farts "poop bubbles"
thedancingpanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British? I don't know why but this sounds British.
limitsoflaziness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm British and it sounds super American to me
justfarmingdownvotes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:28:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do British people only fart in the tub?
showmeurknuckleball ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually British people call farts Gaseous Tooties in the Name of the Queen.
StayPuffGoomba ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is the fart gun in Despicable Me a "rooty tooty gassy shooty"?
Lemon1412 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. At least "fart" doesn't put a picture in my head.
j-a-gandhi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called it a pumba!
Thisishugh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turbocharger farts are called 'burbles'
Winter_Lily ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just exclaim the name of a pet, even when it's not there :3
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid called it popping. Miss, he just popped!
FroggiJoy87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call them "barking spiders"
Fruitdropths ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 2 year old niece calls them "butt burps".
fahrnfahrnfahrn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called it "boopee" as a noun and a verb.
gnathan87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called it a "whopper". Noun and verb.
Jolibean45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:58:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes ordering at Burger King a lot funnier.
fahrnfahrnfahrn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As on, "Momma, I done whoppered?"
gnathan87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ex. "I did a whopper", "I whoppered", "stop whoppering!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or "I'm gonna whop in your face during sex tonight.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ours was similar; it was boop. "Who booped?" or "I just booped"
flamaxblanca ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:02:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once came home from school really upset one afternoon, so naturally my mom asked him what was wrong. He told her that one of the older kids on the school bus was swearing, and using the f-word. Wanting to know what happened and whether or not she needed to contact the school (party pooper, right?), she asked what exactly the older kid said. My brother told her: "He stood up on the bus seat and yelled "HEY EVERYBODY, I JUST FARTED"".
LincolnshireSausage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was a young un in the 70s we used to call a fart a trump.
brokencobra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:43:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn you white peoples had sheltered child hoods
Jolibean45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom grew up Mennonite, so she probably thought we were living right on the edge. LoL
Raibean ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin would let out these MONSTER farts when she was little. Then she would giggle and say "I poofed!"
PantySniffers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom thought SOB meant "short on brains". She ran around work calling her fellow coworkers SOBs in front of clients. She got reprimanded and came home and asked 12 year old me what SOB meant. I explained it to her. She was not happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
knowing you'd grow up all messed up and ackward about farts was the real reason.
PointCollection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember once in class, someone snitched on another person for "saying the F-word". When asked what the word was, and that they wouldn't get in trouble for answering this question, they said "stupid". I bursted out laughing hearing this conversation.
indiaalphaxray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We said "fluff" instead of fart. That was more embarrassing to say in front of anyone outside of the family. I think farts should be addressed like Lord Vold...
Put-A-Bird-On-It ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma calls it a "bing bang". To this day if someone carts she says "did you bing bang".
daydreamradio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend's family growing up used to call them "fluffs." Their house was like the twilight zone. Solidarity with the weird, but no better euphemisms.
DrippyWaffler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 10 I proudly told my parents that I knew the C-word. They exchanged glances and said "um... so what is it? We won't tell you off" and I replied "Crap!"
Snackrattus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. We used the term 'bunnies' (a term inherited from an uncle). The term itself ended up being a source of embarrassment, as we weren't aware that this was a family-specific term and would scold fellow kids for not using that term.
gofiguree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad called it beasting.
caffwintoyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My adult daughter still calls them "poots".
jimbojangles1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up my mom knew she would have to have conversations about mine and my brother's penises from time to time so we called them "tooties". Apparently she had been out to eat with a friend of hers and her friend's son and the kid yelled out in a crowded restaurant "Mom you're crushing my penis!" So ever since then I guess my mom didn't want to be that embarrassed in public. Of course we found different ways to embarrass the hell out of her.
shpecialkay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have some follow up questions. Why was the mother crushing his penis and how old was this kid to know it's called a penis.
jimbojangles1987 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom told me this at least 20 years ago so my memory is a bit fuzzy but I think he was sitting on her lap and I don't know too much more from there. I think they were at a bartop or a countertop at like a diner. Also I think the kid was in the 4-6 range. That's what my memory is telling me.
Edit: Context helps.
GOAT_Anus_Licker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy's mom made him call farts "fanny burps."
stupid_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluff, goddamit, fluff.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my house, "stinkies" was used as a euphemism for all foul odors, and until 8 or 9, it represented the "S" word. The "C" word was "corn hole"
marilyn_morose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were not allowed fart either.
doctorgaylove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't allowed to say "fart" either. We said "gas" "passing gas" or "cutting one".
bikkaboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't allowed to say it either. I am almost 35 years old and still hate the F word.
CatsupNotKetchup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom called them pottywhistles. I.... I guess it kinda makes sense, if you think about it.
LordDonor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our family called them "fluffs"
EdgarTFriendly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We called them 'bottypops', hahaha thanks for igniting that memory!
laceyinthewoods ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were never to use the word fart in front of my grandmother... God if you could only imagine the obsurd language I heard growing up otherwise... nonetheless, we were only allowed to say "foo foo" if necessary. So weird.
Holy__cow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh we said "pomped off" but then I'm British...
sometimesballerina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For whatever reason my family calls farting "shooting bunnies"
Still haven't figured out why killing small, furry animals is better than farting.
Tracinator24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, the kid next door was my age but had pretty severe mental retardation due to lack of oxygen at birth. He used to call farts "heinie burps." He would chase the little kids of the neighborhood in a booming Fat Albert voice yelling, HEH HEH HEH, MY HEINIE BURPED! It. Was. Amazing. He was a great friend. He only cared how you were doing and was super psyched if you asked him about his day.
thisisjustmyworkacco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha my mom was the same way. We said we had gas. It was weird.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my case we used the word "fluff". Looking back I still don't know why I wasn't allowed to say "fart" back then. Too crass maybe?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin used to call them "poofies", which confused me because my mother calls ottomans "pouffes".
Mum just calls farts "bombs".
youcancallmehoju ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:53:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My stepdaughter came home sullen from her fifth grade class one day and I asked her what was up. She replied, "My teacher called us the c-word.". Being a 32 year old at the time and knowing full well the extent of 'the c-word', I said "Honey, you won't get in trouble, I promise, but you GOTTA tell me what the c-word is.".
It was crappy, he called them crappy.
TheArtofPolitik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember getting sent to the principals office in 1st grade for saying shut up. I feel so confused every time I remember that. It makes no sense.
LotusPrince ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I was supervising third grade students at an after-school thing, and they wouldn't stop talking when I wanted their attention, so I said "Yo!" They all suddenly got quiet and looked at me like I'd said something bad. Apparently their teacher isn't a fan of that one. :-P
-del2phi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She must have had an accident with a yo-yo.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me. One time in 5th grade is said "thucmerin thuckatash". This girl told the teacher i said the F word. I did not. The teacher asked me if i said a word that rhymed with duck. Well technically i did. After class i explained to the teacher but she was a huge bitch so i got detention. But i was a mental case with a lot of issues back tben and instead ran out of the school when the buses came. The resource cop in our school chased me. Superintendent showed up. I got in so much fucking trouble all because that asshole teacher and girl.
Flying-Camel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We trained him wrong on purpose, is for fun" - not Betty but the other old guy
HeroicallyNude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I forget the context but in 6th grade math class I decided to quote an episode of The Simpsons..."Shut up!...that's why". Apparently this was a big deal, and was followed by the teacher being very offended and giving me my first detention.
Snarls_Bukowski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, stupid is the s word.
ScoobyDoNot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My five year old currently thinks there is a 'bad' word for each letter. The S word is 'stupid'.
funmamareddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the most horrible insults to a kindergartner is to tell them they scribble scrabble instead of color.
Nathandrew101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a children's hospital and I told a little boy he needed to clean the tip of his penis. He looked up at me with big old Bambi eyes and goes "ohhhh that's a bad word! That's the P-Word buddy! We don't say that!"
brneyedgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for "you're-in-trouble inhale."
NightGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once in the car with my father and 13 year old niece. During a conversation, she did that same inhale and said, "grandpa said the C-word!!"
My dad and I sat there wondering when he let "cunt" slip out and I said, "wait...the C-word? I don't remember hearing him say anything bad..."
She replied, "you know crap "
kasdanasal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy I got yelled at once when I was in middle school, because I was trying to fix the computer so my little brother and his friend could play terraria. I muttered something about how "this stupid computer never works anymore", and said friend ran down and told my mom I said "the S word".
latinloner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for giving me a definition for this. May your harem never be stricken with stretchmarks.
notmebutjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up is just referring to closing your mouth, your jaw is to move up. Or to shut up.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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ebilgenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup seems incredible alright
SomeGoodInThisWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, that's hilarious
ArcherInPosition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe what I'm seeing!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ridiculous!
showmeurknuckleball ยท 366 points ยท Posted at 00:34:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn 5th grade boys, the scourge of the elementary school
heartbreakhill ยท 298 points ยท Posted at 00:55:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a substitute teacher 5th Graders are actually the most low maintenence of anyone besides high schoolers.
The_Gr8_Catsby ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 01:11:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a K-6 teacher, wtf? 5th grade boys are THE MOST emotional and THE BIGGEST behavior problems in K-6.
heartbreakhill ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 01:13:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may just be where I am. Small midwest town. Everyone gets loud and restless, but the 5th graders tend to be pretty chill.
SoldierHawk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also helps to be a sub, where you don't have to deal with the same kids every day. (And vice versa.)
EffThisLake ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:27:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you. Small midwest town substitute teacher. 5th and 6th are cake classes. By then, they already know what happens if they do their work or not and I can kick back and just make sure that no one dies.
_softlite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had the same experience in the suburbs. There were disruptive 5th grade boys but subbing in 5th grade was less likely to end up with the class completely off the rails, as opposed to younger kids.
Pickselated ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know who to trust any more
theoreticaldickjokes ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:18:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me when I say that high school is low maintenance as fuck. There's a little drama, but it is nothing like the younger grades. I never have to worry about a kid pissing themselves or vomiting on a test from anxiety. Their emotional and developmental issues have usually been discovered by then, so all you have to do is accommodate them. Most of them are capable of way more responsibility, etc. It's amazing. I don't want to switch to lower grades. I think I'd lose it.
always_reading ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:47:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach 7th and 8th grade before switching to a high school and you couldn't pay me enough to go back. I mostly teach 11th and 12th grade and I love it. The most problematic thing I have to deal with is kids being late more often than the younger kids (mostly because they no longer depend on parents to get them to school on time) and the super stressed out seniors worried about getting into university.
bluebasset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, high school, they're old enough to understand the consequences for not doing their work, so while I'll gently prompt them to get to work, I don't feel responsible if they choose not to do it. As long as they're not disruptive or doing anything that will get me fired if the principal walks in the room, I don't really have to care.
The best was when the teacher explicitly stated in her plans that if the students chose not to work it was their problem and not mine.
eyemadeanaccount ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:53:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because in K-5 they're top of the foodchain and chill out. In K-6 they're not and are sick of being second bested by the 6th graders. I went to K-8, but K was a separate building. 1-5 were on one side of the school, 6-8 was on the other. 5th graders and 8th graders were both equally chill because they each had their own turf to be kings and queens of. The kindergarten building was just like the show Recess. It was madness. They even had them fenced in.
Shwinky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds just like my school, but instead we stuck the kindergarteners in a far corner of the school. They had their own playground though.
CrouchingPuma ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in elementary school it was always the younger boys (K-3ish) and the older girls (5-6) that were the worst.
EffThisLake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd grade boys are the most evil beings, with kindergarten being in second place. I'm still in college, but I sub every day I'm not in class, so 3x a week. I came home from a day of 3rd grade last week madder than I've ever been at any job.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:38:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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EffThisLake ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:46:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I coached the middle school (7th and 8th) wrestling team this past season. I at least had the luxury of being able to throw them, lol.
Random_51 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:55:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sub here. Third grade is where all the tattle tales emerge in full force. Fifth grade, pretty chill, high schoolers do their own thing, but I keep taking middle school jobs. The drama amuses me.
EffThisLake ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:11:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I personally know the secretary at the middle school and she gives me the first chance at openings and keeps me busy 2-3 weeks in advance, so I keep taking it.
High school subbing is the easiest job in the world, though.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:49:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third grade is tough because it's the first year the kids develop social lives so they can become insufferable assholes, or really awesome.
The_Gr8_Catsby ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Third graders are infants in August and teenagers in May.
Ghostronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was a late bloomer. I was a 4th grade hell raiser.
EffThisLake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love them or hate them and there is usually no in between.
SysLordX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm... I am father of two former 5th grade boys.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Ghostronic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Was grounded for 6 months in 7th grade.
Witchymuggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, grades five and six were horrible. Kids turn mean then.
IcarianSkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5th grade me just liked to vanish. I'd go to the office to take my meds after lunch and just wander off along the way. Had the school put on lockdown for code adam several times.. I thought it was hilarious. Until I got grounded for a month.
steelerstl ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:15:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a high schooler, sub = no class
heartbreakhill ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:17:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually about half and half. I've had days where I've given tests or had the kids up and teaching them improv. There were also days where I got paid to take attendance and turn a movie on.
JollyRogers40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My geometry teacher would always have a sub the day of an exam. I hated that.
XenonTheFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, exams have to be given by a different teacher anyway. It shouldn't be that bad, not like they can help you, cause it's an exam
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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heartbreakhill ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience (which again, might be skewed based on my location), Kindergarteners and 5th graders were good to me. 1st and 2nd grade were outright anarchy. 4th grade was in the middle.
Middle school varies from day to day but usually the kids get their work done and are happy if I dab for them.
High school as you said can get boring because of how little supervision they need. I've taught for my old theatre director and I had a blast with his kids though.
Edit: I should also mention that I do an after school program with elementary kids called Latchkey so a lot of my younger kids I sub for already know me.
prancingElephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed 3rd grade.
heartbreakhill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't subbed 3rd yet.
Jebbediahh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I nope out once the onset of puberty begins.
lovelyhappyface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude! 5th grade was my favorite year.
SingerOfSongs__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High schooler here; at least they'd pretend to do their work.
duct_taped_jeep ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:05:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I teach 5th grade. I asked one of my boys who refused to do any work if he wanted to be a failure and he said, "Your face is a failure." I couldn't keep it together and laughed my ass off.
TheRealSmom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They can't be stopped... It's legit impossible Source: after school staff
5ilvrtongue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Balls. Hee hee!
HotDealsInTexas ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Eric, did you just say the F word?"
"Jew?"
"No he's talking about fuck! You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fatass!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4pEyQAS-0s
k5berry ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:05:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what I meant to say was -
How would you like, to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"
Cracks me up every time.
TheMorrigan ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew did something similar-he was at a soccer game, heard the supporter section chanting "YOU SUCK, ASSHOLE!" He went home, told his mom all about the game, and said he wanted to tell her what the crowd was saying. However, he was worried about saying a bad word, so mom told him to just say "beep" for the bad word. "YOU BEEP, ASSHOLE!"
after-life ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:53:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one is actually hilarious.
OggiK ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was literally teaching 5-6 year olds today and they are going through a phase of swear words such as: fart, nuts, fat and omg. Great, so I have to stop these kids from saying meaner stuff whilst getting across that it's not swearing but not nice (as a first year student teacher straight out of college this was kinda hard for me to explain clearly). So today I had one kid come up to me and say "X swore! He said the F-word". Expecting it to be "fart" again I asked what he said. "X said Fuck this!"
Well....
spitfire9107 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:12:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahh yes good ol days when "stupid" and "shut up " were considered curse words
LePontif11 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:28:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair stupid is an insult here, fucking isn't necessarily bad in the context. So she understands when a word can be bad.
TVA_Titan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friend's daughter is three. We are in the navy and naturally cuss like sailors but she isn't phased. But if we say stupid she'll point it out. Once my buddy asked her "what bad word did you say" and she hesitantly answered "stupid". Her mom and all of us started going "OOooooo you said stupid" and she burst into tears because she had done something bad.
WaffleBrothel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty adorable.
TVA_Titan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't particularly like kids but even I thought it was funny.
Sylvynx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WaffleBrothel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ถBrothers, sisters, everybody singin'!๐ต
krankkinder12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So fucking cute.
MostlyALurkerBefore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was how my brother and I were raised.
If we stubbed a toe or got frustrated and said, "Shit!" it was fine. But we couldn't swear at someone (like, we couldn't call someone an asshole). We didn't get in trouble for swearing out of frustration but if we got mad and called someone stupid, we were in major trouble.
Spazmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my 8 year old daycare kids yells "HE SAID A BAD WORD" in every kids movie we watch. I can never figure out which words he's talking about, because there wasn't even a stupid or darn or anything. I assume he goes home and tells his parents I let them watch movies with bad language in it.
Lettit_Be_Known ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They knew fucking was totally off limits... They're 7, that's old as shit to not know
Kingkern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was long-term subbing as an elementary school phys ed teacher. Was taking attendance for a kindergarten class and someone raises their hand to ask, "Mr. Kingkern, why is fuckyou a bad word?"
holymolyfrijoles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geez. I didn't drop my first f-bomb until I was already a man
abracatada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol :)
Custodian_Carl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 4 and 8 year old boys are this way as are most kids I think because until you assign a stigma to word they won't get the context of a bad word.
I curse like a sailor and they don't know what a curse word is.
HeavingEarth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a wee boy I thought blood was a bad word.
-kittrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought belly was... tummy was okay though
chibato182 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My little 5 year old brother heard the word "stupid" from a movie and started saying about anything and everything, so naturally my parents told him he couldn't say it, it's a bad word. You can say shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker around him and he doesn't give it a second thought. You don't even think he's listening, he's just watching movies on his iPad. But the second you say the "s word" he'll stop whatever he's doing and call you out on it "YOU SAID STUPID!"
-kittrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about tits, fuck, turd and twat?
wharsmetoothpicson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Whoopi Goldberg explaining why 'stupid' is a much more offensive word than 'fuck' - there's very rarely any situation when it can be used positively.
boldnesstodream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young I knew the word 'fuck' (older brothers) but thought all it meant was to tell someone 'fuck you,' as that was the only context I had for the word.
A friend in 5th grade had a step-father who liked to say "go fuck a duck" and one day she said it too. I distinctly remember our group on the school bus laughing at the concept and saying "yeah like fuck you duck." We had no clue.
OrSpeeder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the third grade, a kid that hated me thought he was going to get me suspended by inventing to the teacher that I cursed, he told the teacher that I said "buceta" (cunt in portuguese).
Teacher shows up: "Boy, you are in trouble! I know what you did!"
me: "Did what?"
Teacher: "You said a bad word!"
me: "I did?"
Teacher: "Yes, I was told you said buceta"
me: "And so what? What is buceta?" (I never had heard the word before)
Teacher: "You said it again!"
me: "That is the first time I said it, I have no idea what it means, why it is a bad word?"
Teacher: "Huh... well, nevermind."
Then I figure out who tried to pull this stunt when the kid that hates me gets a formal warning for cussing with the word 'buceta'.
I would only learn what 'buceta' meant 5 years later, when people started to use that word regularly...
EDIT: I hate reddit formatting system, why it must strip newlines?
u-void ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
good job mom, my kids would have said something completely different...
sarcazm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. This sounds like my son. My husband and I almost never curse around our kids. One day, when I went to pick him up from daycare, the teacher pulled me aside and said that he accidentally stuck up his middle finger on the daycare van today. All the kids were like "Ooooh, he put up his middle finger." The kids kept going on and on about it, and my son was getting embarrassed because he had no idea what was going on.
Anyway, I had to explain to my son why sticking up the middle finger was bad. I mean, trying to explain it actually sounded dumb. Like why is putting up the middle finger equivalent to saying "F*** you?"
He was in first grade at the time (so, 7 years old). I knew the time would come when he would start hearing bad words from other kids... just wasn't sure when it would happen.
CritFailingLife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother did the same thing. He was probably 4-5 and we were riding in the car on the way home from school and I (15-16) was telling mom about my day and said something was fucking stupid and there was an immediate "Mommy! She said stupid!" From the back seat.
gordonfroman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in grade 7 I was outside at recess and exclaiming something to my friends and I used the term "Fuckin A" N response, my teacher was of course right behind me, put his hand around my shoulder and made this smirk and acted like it was all cool, I had a mini heart attack but that teacher will always be remembered as a cool dude in my books
RealSchon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong thread?
bananadiaspora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time my 7 year old student tried to tell on her classmate, "He said the S word!". I asked which one and she said "ASSHOLE!".
Shantotto11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Comically missing the point
ScuttleBucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is funny, but as a parent of a 3 and almost 2 year old I think it's stupid to limit a kid from saying stupid. Now I do have a problem with my kids calling people names; that is absolutely unacceptable.
ActThree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are the best but also the worst :)
rowanbladex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first curse word I can remember hearing was when I was like 4-6, and my dad and I were at our neighbours' talking to him while he worked on his Lotus. He said something about "the damn engine" and then was like "oops, need to watch myself". My dad said it was fine, while I'm sitting there the whole time confused as to what a water dam has to do with the engine right in front of me, as I had a higher understanding of both than most kids my age would have.
Drigr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad this is in any way relevant to the topic.
DarkOmen597 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up, my parents HATED the word stupid.
They grew up in another country and I guess back then and there, the word "stupid" was really offensive.
So my siblings and I would get mad at each other. We would say bad things to each other... but as soon as we said stupid...
My mom would tell us to shut up and never say that word to each other.
It was nuts to us. Never knew why since it was such a ...stupid word...
Anyway, years later was when we found out about the context of her reaction to the word.
secondpagepl0x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Impossible. Everyone at least knows what the "f-word" is by age 7
just-leave-me-alone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom has a story like this about me when I was small and cute. Apparently we were at the park when some pesky teenager exclaimed "shit!" as he tripped over his board.
I looked at my mom, wide-eyed and very concerned, and told her "Mom...... Did you hear, that boy almost swore....."
I had been taught not to throw the word "shoot" around all willy nilly because it was a swear, apparently.
LuvTheKokanee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my goodness, I read this with a long O instead of a long U. I had no idea what was going on. I even frantically searched the comments to try and figure it out
atrobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a k-8 school and while the older ones are saying the real swear words (and think I can't hear them), the little ones are always tattling on each other for saying "poop." it's cute
Kaylila ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school did same thing but our word was "Son of a Biscuit Eater."
shiguywhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you might have been teaching my French teacher's kids. She taught them that the "s" word is 'stupid' and the "f" word is 'fat'. This is the exact scenario I pictured them getting into when I found out that fact.
Lamataquenomata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's epic! As I remember I used to be like this too, then in second grade my aunt, who was 16 at the time , was watching South Park with her bf while she was babysitting me. So that night I learned like ten bad words and then , exactly as in the movie, I started swearing at every one at school.... all of the kids in my class started swearing because of me. One day, while we were waiting on the teacher, we were all cursing at each others and all the class got in trouble . One of the little bastards rat on me and o got expelled (Catholic school) . Looking back it was and still is fucking fun to swear
mechanicofmemes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother has autism and for the longest time up until he was about 7 you could not say the "S" word. You could say fuck, shit, cunt, any other "curse" word just not stupid
Junipermuse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when my daughter was in kindergarten. Somehow the subject of "bad words" came up. I have a bit of a mouth on me sometimes, so my husband and I were curious how much my daughter had learned (since we had only once ever heard her say one). We asked her if she knew what the "f-word" was. She paused for a moment and then replied, "I know 2 'f-words.'"
I replied, "Really, 2, what are they?"
With total confidence, she responded, "'fat' and 'fart.'" Both were words the kindergarten teachers were adamant were not allowed to be used. Apparently since my cussing was so commonplace, no one reacted much when I said "fuck" and so she hadn't realized it wasn't something she was supposed to say.
thirstyfish209 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a teacher, at what age do you see kids normally start learning strong swear words?
RedditCameo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
L...o....L
Jomanderisreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents keep telling this story of me coming home crying out of the bus (like 1st grade age about) because someone said "the s- word" on the bus. They kept questioning me about what that student who said "the s-word" actually said being concerned parents seeing me so upset about this word and eventually I gave in and told them that he said "stupid".
Don't have any memories of this specifically but I do remember being sensitive to the word "stupid" around that age just because my like 70 year old 1st grade teacher warned us ahead of time to reading a story that the story had a horrible word in it and none of this could repeat it (that word being stupid).
pjor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it about elementary schoolers that makes them say "Ooooo" right before they tattle? This was common during my elementary school days as well.
WinterKappa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't see this one coming. What a twist!
curcud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, stupid is an ugly word.
FredDerf666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The dreaded s-word.
SolongStarbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mother was substitue teaching either late elementary or early middle school, I can't remember which, but one kid yelled, Mrs C, so-and-so said the S-word! So my mom leaned over and asked the kid what the s-word was, and he uttered it as though he would immediately be expelled for admitting that he said "sexy."
So, being the understanding person she is, my mom held in her giggles and calmly asked him to use it in a sentence, to ascertain whether or not he was using it in an inappropriate way.
His response: "My sandwich is sexy."
My mom still laughs about this whenever it is brought up.
Coffee_Grains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my elementary school, we would say stuff like fat-bleep instead of fatass, bleep you, go to bleep, etc., with the "bleep" pronounced as a word. One day, a kid accidentally said bleep-ass instead of fat-bleep, and our lives were changed forever...
SilasX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An activist said, "The Supreme Court fucking sucks, burn the whole thing down."
The Supreme Court said, "The authorities may stop you from saying 'fucking'."
befellen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my mind, calling someone stupid is more offensive than using the f-word.
craneoperator89 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered!!
Red_Utnam ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:07:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story but how does this relate to the topic?
[deleted] ยท 1709 points ยท Posted at 00:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a comedy bit I heard a while ago. Kid was in Elementary school, I forget which grade, and the teacher asks him who shot JFK. Kid simply looks at her and innocently says, "I didn't do it!" Comedian says this was in NY back in the 80's, and he was raised in a stereotype Scorsese gangster-movie environment. Just for background. Teacher decides to call the kid's house because she's concerned about the answer he gave earlier. Dad picks up the phone, teacher explains his son's behavior, Dad simply replies, "If he says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it!!"
Innerouterself ยท 394 points ยท Posted at 02:31:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll dad is the best dad.
Levlove ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping my dad build my room in the basement and he had me strip the ends of wires for the future outlets. He got a huge kick out of telling my mother that I spent the day learning how to be a stripper.
TheNorthComesWithMe ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:20:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo dawg you gotta put the setup before the punchline.
Oikeus_niilo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:09:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know if this is a general joke because in a finnish sketch-tvshow there was this hilarious sketch where a teacher asked a student where the eskimo lives. and the student wouldnt answer but he would just talk with a friend. he kept asking until the student threw something in the face of the teacher and said "well not in our house for sure, fuck" and then the teacher goes to the students home to tell this to his father. and the dad just says "well he has all kinds of friends around but if he said there is no eskimo in our house then there is none."
flyingteabag ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:33:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg that's hilarious!!
friedkeenan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:09:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rofl lol lmao!!!!1!!1!!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tupac shot JFK
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turns out the Dad was the shooter on the grassy knoll.
litux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In some languages, the word for splitting an atom is the same as the word for breaking something.
So the joke goes:
"I asked your son in Physics class who broke the atom, and he said he didn't know."
"Well I know he's a troublemaker, he probably broke it himself. How much for the atom?"
DocGerbill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Adam Ferara?
ciprock ยท 529 points ยท Posted at 02:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was giving the puberty lesson to some 5th grade boys. Told them they'd see their friends and the girls get taller, voice becoming deeper and they'll bumps on their faces and chins.
Kid raises his hand..."my mom said not to kiss girls with bumps on their lips"
hfw1986 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 04:09:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both sets if he knows what's good for him.
hoblobfobtob ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:32:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May be too late.
ThermalConvection ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dint get the bumps on lips
eloquentlyrandom ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herpes/cold sores
Majestic_Gyoza ยท 1065 points ยท Posted at 01:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In primary school our science teacher asked us to compare our facial features with our parents , then wrote down which part of us looks similar , and why.
My brother's answer was "my dad and I are both chubby because I was his sperm".
ZCreator97 ยท 874 points ยท Posted at 02:18:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I were in that class, I'd write a long list of similarities, then write "pure coincidence "for each of them. I'm adopted.
reschultzed ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure they didn't choose you because you looked like them?
ZCreator97 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:21:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know... they didn't even know what the parents looked like at the time.
tannimfodder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:11:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must have been fate!
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:05:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm adopted too. I'm also Asian. My parents are both white. I've had people come up to me and say "You look just like your mom/dad!" Lady. Who are you looking at? I'm tan, black hair, brown eyes, and almond shaped eyes. My parents have blonde/brown hair, blue eyes, white skin, and wide eyes.
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That explains it
TurkishGooble ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:35:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I let out an audible "Oh nooooo" in when I read that and got to the last part.
bitcleargas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:11:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has dark hair, mine is blonde.
My dad has a crooked tooth, my smile is perfect.
Neither my dad or me have any history of abuse.
That's why I was chosen for a adoption.
Evning ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. To add on to the person who suggested that your parents chose you because you looked like them.
You could have wrote "Selective Breeding"
ArrowRobber ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've known one friend that did still resemble her parents and siblings even though she was adopted. She was adopted from within the family, her aunt was her mother.
Mattsoup ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:43:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no body hair and a slightly protruding nasal ridge from a ~7% Cherokee background. My dad was the provider of these genes, but he's a super hairy quarter Italian guy. Guess you get some delay of the phenotype in my family.
benz0fury ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:57:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you had a science teacher in primary school? we just had one teacher for all subjects (I'm UK based)
DarryToTheContrary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:20:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about OP, but in my school the kids would switch teachers for one subject in 4th or 5th grade (year 5 or 6), we only had two classrooms of each grade. We'd grab the book for that class and go to the other teacher's room for about an hour then come back for the rest of the day. I don't know if it was to prep us for secondary school or because one of the teachers sucked at the subject the other taught.
benz0fury ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh yeah I did have this actually! It was for maths though :P
Majestic_Gyoza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes - we have different teachers for different subjects (I studied primary school in Japan). Oh and we don't change classroom for every period ; in Japan , the teacher comes to us.
benz0fury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mind switching classrooms, give you a chance to stretch your legs every hour or so and it usually meant the classroom was tailored to the subject, like for science when doing experiments and shit.
edit: Just realised you said primary school haha, hope you werent playing with bunsen burners in primary school lol
cowfodder ยท 765 points ยท Posted at 02:23:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but something I did in high school Spanish. We were reading Don Quixote, and had a quiz covering a few chapters. In the chapter "The Galley Slaves" Don Quixote and Sancho Panza get pelted with rocks, and Sancho falls off of his donkey.
Q: What happened in the chapter "The Galley Slaves?"
My answer: Sancho got stoned off his ass. Had to explain that one to the teacher to not get in trouble, and it was apparently a joke in the Spanish department for a few years after I graduated.
Pokecrafter88 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 04:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fucking gold
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:16:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the puns only work in English. Why are you answering in English in a Spanish class advanced enough to read Don Quixote?
SirVer51 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just let us have this dammit
choixpeau ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:31:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some language classes have comprehension tests in the students' first language to make sure they actually understood. Writing in the language being taught is tested separately.
Mental_piggie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:49:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why does it matter. maybe the teacher was english and liked reading tests in his/her native language better, maybe you just need to shut up.. who knows?
Kadasix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:33:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta remember that
trf6_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all heroes wear capes.
SaltyShawarma ยท 1519 points ยท Posted at 23:53:06 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about the Fukushima nuclear plant being hit by the tsunami. The (brilliant) young lad that was most engaged wanted to exclaim his understanding for the situation, but his slip of the tongue led to: "Nuclear pants are dangerous." We all agreed. And wrote the quote up on the board as a keeper for the rest of the school year.
Shout out to "Hotwheels." That was not his only board-worthy quote.
Edit: Jeez!, Fine Fukushima! I know nuclear power is not that dangerous, the kid didn't though! It is not a "Freudian" slip; I'm not even sure how I came to that conclusion. And yes, "Hotwheels" did run around like a crazy kid. No, my mind is not subtly broken, it is jaggedly cracked. Also, I can't believe I never saw that GWB quote, nutty!
RadarLakeKosh ยท 468 points ยท Posted at 00:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call dibs on "Nuclear Pants" for my band name.
Hotel_Arrakis ยท 342 points ยท Posted at 01:35:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Atomic Pantaloons" could be the cover band for "Nuclear Pants"
LegendOfPublo ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:57:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Radioactive Breeches"
Nightmare_Pasta ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Irridiated Trousers
bad_karma11 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:38:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fallout Slacks
Hates_escalators ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:42:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cherenkov Chinos.
bommerangstick ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:13:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electric Moccasins.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:01:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Contaminated Culottes
derrikcahan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:38:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chernobyl Trousers
backwardsbloom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:07:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Curie's Leggings
NarejED ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uranium Chaps (assless, of course)
jasdjensen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:11:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catastrophic Clamdiggers
Mattsoup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cesium Slacks
Keebler172 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:05:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New clear pants. Definitely dangerous. Definitely.
newstuph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ore their album name. ..
xNexx_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing that
ap1028 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Radioactive Rompers!"
Shantotto11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/BandNames
timecrust ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuclear Power Pants is already a band name. They are high quality live.
Pissed_Off_Platypus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im jealous
Valkyrie_of_Loki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Radioactive rubber pants.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pants command me!
NuclearPants_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You called?
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 02:04:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuclear pants aren't dangerous, it's just the design of pant used should never have been situated where it was.
actuallyarobot2 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 02:36:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you don't use nuclear pants all that happens is you fall back on the default coal pants, which are way worse for everyone.
desertrider12 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:21:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you sell nuclear pants, a lot of people might die. If you sell coal pants, a lot of people WILL die.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:21:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what design should they have used, Mister Smarty Plants?
Dexaan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe experts said it needed a bigger belt.
Violeteyes1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Invader's blood marches through my veins like radioactive rubber pants!
Kathakush_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really a Freudian slip. That's just a slip of the tongue.
LetItOutBoy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he thought the teachers pants were the bomb...
Kathakush_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was actually excited about how much he understood the pants, while barely listening to his teacher.
LetItOutBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha sounds like a fun ass- I mean class! Excuse me. I was distracted by the material...
banshee_hands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh no you're not really correct. all slips of the tongue count as parapraxis. they don't have to be sexual or particularly embarrassing.
Kathakush_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason it isn't Freudian is be Freudian reveals unconscious thoughts or desires. I doubt he was desiring pants while excited about Fukushima. Slips off the tongue isn't parapraxis. Here's the wiki article definition:
banshee_hands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:35 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's still a freudian slip. in this case, he would be desiring something else, something that, for whatever reason, is connected in his unconscious mind to the signifier "pants." "pants" sounds very similar to "plants" and so he misspoke.
you're misunderstanding the way the unconscious works. it's not something that's going to make sense in a conscious, surface-level way, because it functions almost as a separate language. it's going to appear highly nonsensical.
SheeEttin ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:57:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More quotes from Hotwheels pls
PairOfParedPears ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:03:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, one of my teachers kept memorable quotes up on the board too! The best one was some kid who said "helicopters circumcise lawsuits" when he meant to say circumvent. The same kid later said IED instead of IUD when we were giving presentations about birth control.
Dexaan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:33:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading out loud for English class and said "circumcise" instead of "circumscribe". Teacher decided that it now became the day we learned about malapropisms.
IndifferentAnarchist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:45:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, inserting an IED will definitely prevent pregnancy.
MakeYouFaggotFlambe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fukushima.
Hell_hath_no ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:52:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that Freudian?
anybodywantakiwi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because pants house genitalia?
Hell_hath_no ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
banshee_hands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:00 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all slips like that count as parapraxis.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I know someone who had similar moments. There was this one really smart dude, graduating near the top of his class, in AP Biology:
"Are trees plants?"
abattlescar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a Freudian slip, Freudian would have to reveal subconscious feelings. Something like, "Nuclear parents are dangerous." Unless he had a fear of pants that isn't the correct term.
banshee_hands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, you're kind of wrong. based on how language is integrated by the unconscious mind, a slip like that is still parapraxis. to explain very roughly, the kid's unconscious mind was associating to something else for some reason (that reason doesn't necessarily have to be understandable on a conscious surface-level) and so he used a different word that was phonetically similar.
FunctorYogi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is that a Freudian slip?
donttouchthatknob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he also wanted to have sex with his mother.
CatPatronus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In middle school geography I remember a girl getting really excited about knowing the answer and yelled out "United condom!" While meaning to say "United Kingdom".
Killinger_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have an English teacher that does the exact same thing. He calls it the Geniosity board and he plans to publish it in a book once he's done teaching
Smgth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xaja86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fukushimu... that is a hilarious typo. Fukushimoooooooooooo
howlingwind0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a new one, at least. Most people go with "Fukashima."
Great-Blue-Heron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a kid that went to my high school with the same nickname. I'm not certain, but I think he got the nickname for wearing shorts with flames on them haha
darksingularity1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an algebra class when I was younger, I was asked a question, and in saying the answer, instead of saying function, I said fucktion.
I was a teenage boy. Where else would my mind be?
ZephyrWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my classmates called the endoplasmic reticulum the endoplasmic rectum during a presentation quite enthusiastically while pointing at his version of it in his diorama.
ThePsiGuard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't believe no one has mentioned this yet (sorry, couldn't find a better video).
GodOfDumbness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Fukushima. Sorry, had to point it out. Also, toss this question their way: "What was Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant originally built to survive?" (Hint, it was built by americans, with blueprints for american land.)
FredAsta1re ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A mass shooting?
GodOfDumbness ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, Tornados. No, I am not kidding.
The secondary diesel generators were in a basement so that in the case of a Tornado, they would survive. The construction continued without modifying this. When the Tsunami came in, it flooded the basement. Had it been above ground, on a roof or off site the disaster could have been better contained.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Tornados. Those oh-so-common Japanese occurrences. How can adults be so stupid?
GodOfDumbness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:17:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think TEPCO was worried about cost-overruns. The GEBP was tried and worked true to design in the USA. If they moved the diesel generators they would need to redesign and rethink some parts, or they could just follow the BP exactly and point at it if something went wrong.
Corporate being corporate basically.
-Karakui ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True but the money they lost from not taking tsunamis into account probably far outweighs the additional cost of moving generators a bit.
GodOfDumbness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering that they didn't even want to pay the cost to raise the height of the sea wall.... I don't think they cared.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuclear power plants are not that dangerous comparatively to coal mines, for example. Many more people die in the process of mining coal than in the process of nuclear fission. Cancer rates among survivors of Chernobyl and Fukushima are over-exaggerated.
Nuclear power plants are the future.
brickmaster32000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I think we lost our chance at that. It would have been nice but seeing as how it actually looks like people are determined to cover every empty field with solar panels and turbines it looks like we might actually get stuck with renewables.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:56:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nuclear power is just so, so much better.
brickmaster32000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree but if we end up with enough renewables to actually power everything there won't be much point in replacing them with nuclear power even if it would have made more sense to just start with that.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except that to scale up solar power to the levels we need requires a lot of land area, and a lot of batteries. On-shore wind farms might be scalable, but there are tons of problems with wind turbines, least of which being that it kills birds. Can you imagine what whole beach full of wind turbines would do to the local bird population?
Of course it isn't like nuclear power is without its flaws. High level waste can only be stored in deep underground vats where it will be for the rest of observable time pretty much. Still I think that's a better option than fossil fuels, and a more viable option than other renewables.
brickmaster32000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure and that is part of why I never liked solar but people are actually using the massive amounts of land needed. I agree full heartily that nuclear wold have been a saner choice but if renewables get in place first, which is looking surprisingly likely, there will be little reason to tear them down and replace them. It is not like renewables are actually inherently bad options, they just are costly options.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well sure, and nuclear is costly too. It's a shame though because it's more efficient
deviantduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K State grad?
Hocry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:27:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this hotwheels always running around halls to class
intensely_human ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:06:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mind seems subtly broken.
LetItOutBoy ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:41:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The brilliant young lad, by name of Hotwheels, exclaimed, "Nuclear pants are dangerous." much to the teacher's amusement.
NuclearBreadstick ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 02:54:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And we all know the opposite of a straight line is..."
"A gay line."
abrokensheep ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:25:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wtf is the opposite of a straight line?
Curved lines are still pretty line-y. Circles are still pretty line-y. A plane minus a line would be fine but 2 dimensions is arbitrary. An infinite vector space minus a line? I think I've overthought this.
thijser2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A line is something, the oposite of something is nothing so we are looking for some kind of nothing, the abscence of a straight line perhaps?
marpocky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like the 1-codimensional space which is perpendicular to the line.
awe778 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a 2-d construct that is continuous everywhere but differentiable nowhere.
PM_SQL_INJECTION ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe its a straight line that intersects at a 90degree angle to the original line?
DontYouTrustMe ยท 886 points ยท Posted at 00:49:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain it's powers"
Girlinhat ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:57:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The placenta is the powerhouse of the moose.
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:24:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where you enter the showerhouse of the goose.
randarrow ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 02:26:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Mรธรธse once bit my sister...ย
laylajerrbears ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:07:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the mรธรธse with the sharpened end of an interspace tรธรธthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian mรธvies: "The Hรธt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mรธlars of Horst Nordfink"
Binford6100 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We apologize. The people responsible have been sacked.
LordDonor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:57:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only certain people can appreciate your references <3
Skinjacker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the reference?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:30:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Skinjacker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:17:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! I've seen that before! I'm surprised I didn't remember it...
NukeLuke1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's at the bottom of the opening credits.
Airmeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:24 on July 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this reference??
rawbdor ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well a dingo ate my baby...
JoeyJoJoJrShabado ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:32:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it?
DontYouTrustMe ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 01:33:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wolves will smell it. I also imagine there are some nutritional benefits
Gark32 ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 02:48:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so, to gain its powers.
DontYouTrustMe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the kid said it as if he was gaining it's super hero powers. I was almost cry laughing
Girlinhat ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:57:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's mostly the nutrients. A placenta is basically all the nutrients to make a baby, and the leftovers are still quite a bit of calories and vitamins.
housewifeonfridays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:46 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to double down on this. You are absolutely wrong. The fetus gets its nutrients from the mothers bloodstream. Babies' teeth are made from the calcium in the mothers' bones; their iron, from her blood; and so on. Everything is from the mother's body.
housewifeonfridays ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the placenta is an organ that draws the needed nutrients from the mothers body and sends it to the baby. It doesnt have the nutrients itself. It is a conduit.
AfroKing23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yah doctor. The machine is ready and awaiting ze conduit.
Dracomax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
is the conduit empty when the birth happens?
housewifeonfridays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:17 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is still connected to the mother when birth happens. About a half hour after birth, the placenta sloughs off and then is expelled in a manner similar to the birth of the baby.
labrev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why exactly are you being downvoted to hell?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta
housewifeonfridays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:37 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. It amazes me that most humans don't know how pregnancy and childbirth work!
mlkelty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:29:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mother Moose tells the worst goddamn stories.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:31:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you weren't the English teacher.
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Markiplier reference. (Although I guess it's technically on one of his friends channels, if your video has Mark as a guest star, it becomes Mark's video. Goddamn I love that guy.
NotYourAverageTomBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant
Smokey9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well now im curious
jimmydapags ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't taste very good, trust me
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's not technically correct. Still funny, though.
pascalbrax ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:42:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the kid with scientologist parents.
mermaid27 ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 02:01:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading through my evaluations at the end of the semester, and the last question was "Do you have any further comments?" One of my students wrote "My favorite band is the Red Hot Chili Peppers."
Hates_escalators ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:07:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's like the old joke where the guy is going through customs and they ask him if he has anything to declare and he says something like 'yes, it's a beautiful day'
PM_SQL_INJECTION ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont let it get awayyyy
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A man who goes through the turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.
amclar ยท 1197 points ยท Posted at 01:38:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching adult ESL to company workers playing scattergories. Topic was "something that grows" letter: i answer: "Influence of Russia in the Ukraine"
This was in 2014 for reference.
teh_maxh ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:36:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They dropped the definite article in 1993.
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Holiday_in_Asgard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:07:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's odd that someone from Ukraine used the definite article. I was always told the locals took offense to it because Ukraine means "borderland" in Russian or something, so calling it "The Ukraine" makes it sound like an unofficial region rather than a country.
Muskwalker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously they get to choose what they want to be called, but whenever this is given as the actual reason I can't help think of silly responses like "The United States has no idea what you're talking about" or "United States understands your situation completely".
(Yes, people do sometimes cite "rules" for why US is one way, but those rules are usually generalizations from too few examples that have no predictive power. The main answer is generally tradition.)
vitaly_artemiev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:20 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like 'outskirt', but I guess the meaning could have changed since that word was first used several centuries ago.
KsbjA ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A while ago, maybe in 2014, there was an article about how the article (I just realized it's a pun, but I'm keeping it) is used for names of rough geographical regions, not sovereign states, and therefore not using it in the case of Ukraine is more respectful toward the sovereign statehood of Ukraine.
(The case with the United States is different, as unions of several states/countries are also referred to with an article. Similarly, in German, Switzerland is "die Schweiz", because it's actually the Swiss Confederacy, which is also what the CH stands for (Confederatio Helvetica)).
the-girl-called-kill ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they drop the definite article for Congo?
Someone saying that in 2014 is entirely plausible though, my middle high school teacher was insistent we use it, and that was in like 2013. Not correct, apparently, but entirely plausible.
krashlia ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:54:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly Cards Against Humanity.
Merryklumklum ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:56:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated (kinda) but one of my fondest memories is playing scattergories with my parents. The topic was "fish" and the letter was "B". Of course all of us said bass and my dad was so proud because he has something different for once. He smiled at my mom, pointed at her and said "Flounder"... more than 10 years later and he still can't live it down.
PersistentOctopus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Scattergories with the right group is a blast. My favorite that I remember from high school was Things you would have to save a lot of money to buy, starting with E, and my friend said Estonia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"the Ukraine"
WillieNederWiet ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you know my boi Shrek right? well Putin and me were playing some airhockey while choke slamming some midgets. When out of nowhere MH-17 kamikazed into the WTC and then fucking beer fell out of my pocket. The stream is still going strong so I might open up a cafe. Vote Ukraine to join Africa, and fuck a bag of tomatoes. 1337 420 pussy maker.
SantagetoutClause ยท 1253 points ยท Posted at 22:33:51 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student, my teacher asked 'what's another word for dead end?(in literature)'. I put my hand up and said cul-de-sac (being genuine). Class just laughed at me.
ethanfez45 ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 01:20:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always full of those answers. The other day in art my professor asked what the elements were (in context of lines but I wasn't paying attention) and I said Nitrogen.
SethQ ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 05:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have been job hunting for about two months. I went to get a tattoo the other day and the lady scheduling the appointment said "and do you have any references?" and I just stared at her for what was clearly too long because she followed up with "you know, art you wanted to base the design off?".
In my defense, I had just gotten off work and been up since 2am.
rexxwyld ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:00:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is a tattooer and this killed me haha
skyler_on_the_moon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:21:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spectral lines?
Orange-V-Apple ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What answer did they want?
SantagetoutClause ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha thinking about it, not entirely sure. Think I was still in shock from my stupidity that I didn't really listen to the answer.
OPs_other_username ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:34:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To paint oneself into a corner is a phrase used. Foil is a single word that is close. Pigeonhole or confound may also be correct.
kirbycheat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:13:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Impasse, obv.
Orange-V-Apple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one makes the most sense I guess
FunctorYogi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:47:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An ambiguous ending?
hahahitsagiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a cliff-hanger
CharlesDickensABox ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:56:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly the opposite of what we're talking about here.
hahahitsagiraffe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How so?
Instantbeef ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:59:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cliff hangers implie something is going to happen next. At a dead end nothing is going to happen next.
hahahitsagiraffe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really have no clue as to what term they want, then. If there is one
CharlesDickensABox ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I'm not sure, either.
idillic ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:08:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get it
empirebuilder1 ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 01:21:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cul-de-sacs are round suburban street-ends. Pretty common in America, they're designed so you can have a dead end residental street that allows cars to turn around without making a 3-point turn.
[deleted] ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 01:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what's a dead end in literature? I've honestly never heard that term before, despite taking some pretty advanced english courses.
Zolhungaj ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 02:13:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a point where the story can no longer progress, either because the author ran out of inspiration or because a situation became unresolvable in a reasonable manner. It requires that the author backs up to an earlier point in the story or breaks the rules of good storytelling (in regularity published media this is usually where you'll find a Deus Ex Machina, or a just-a-dream scenario).
edit: machina, not machinima
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 02:58:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
paraouji ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shitty writing
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's two words.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:29 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shittywriting
kirbycheat ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMPASSE. I can't believe nobody in this thread came up with it!
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:21:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dead end.
Edit. Couldn't help myself: impasse, deadlock, stalemate, standstill.
quinpon64337_x ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Road block?
TheVeryMask ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:04:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've often seen this by the name "plot cul-de-sac", specifically for what seems like a developing plotline that doesn't resolve but doesn't affect anything. A shandified narrative is full of these.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently "shandified" is a rather new term coined by a video game blogger, in reference to 18th century novel The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy.
TIL.
TheVeryMask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I strongly recommend Mr BTongue's videos to people that care about storytelling, especially the video that the term shandification comes from
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will check it out. I appreciate an unexpected Shandy reference.
Zolhungaj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blind alley?
jimmydapags ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George RR Martin
theniceguytroll ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:26:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Syrafes ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:53:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deus Ex *Machina
Vandechoz ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR the end of Lost
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:22:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The end of lost would be if you were reading a book and all of a sudden shit flew from the book into your eyes.
unwise_1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...and that shit belonged to an ebola victim.
WittyCommenterName ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:23:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost wasn't a dream, there is straight up a line in the last episode that the time on the Island was the most important times of their lives. The only parts that didn't happen per se are when Desmond is working for Charles gathering everyone, which takes place after the main events of the show, after everyone has died (either naturally or as shown on screen). Sorry for the tangent, but I love Lost and feel like the ending gets a bad rap. Unless you mean the deus ex machina, in which case yeah the island kinda was wrapped up a bit unsatisfactorily Edited for literary terms
Vandechoz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:56:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it was a dream, I was saying it was a dead end. Literally and literarily.
Tysheth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd normally pass this by, but since we're in a literature thread, I feel compelled to let you know that the first is normally spelled "per se" and the second, in this instance, should be "a bad rap".
cegbe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean deus ex machina, not machinima
Zolhungaj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, my autocorrect didn't want that.
Flying__Penguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what's another word for it?
Zolhungaj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blind alley?
VehaMeursault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, lay off the games for a while, please.
SantagetoutClause ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I won't lie I can't remember what the word she was looking for was, but it was more something symbolic like 'redundant' or something similar. She certainly wasn't looking for what a type of street was called.
kirbycheat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:17:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an impasse - a point at which seemingly no progress is possible. For instance a group of adventurers might reach an impasse such as a chasm over a river with no bridge.
jmeeezy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
could it have been "red herring"? I guess in the way that a plot line leads readers to a dead end?
SantagetoutClause ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:27:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I think it was supposed to be something a long those lines. I had a brain fart and went with the most literal meaning in my head.
jmeeezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha but technically not wrong!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:03:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typically a street sign that signifies the end of the road. The street will end abruptly.
PureRandomness529 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:12:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure you know what 'literature' means
Tin-Star ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read a street directory once.
munificent ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:18:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trivia time: "Bag End" in Lord of the Rings is the transliteration of the the French "cul de sac" into English.
vulverine ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god, because it's shaped like the bottom of a sack.
olegos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:37:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and also of course it was a double entendre for the dead-endedness of living a conformist suburban life at the end of a cul-de-sac and the futility and meaninglessness of existence
harrypotterfan456 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
whoa
buttaholic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a dead end in literature? What was the correct answer?
meneldal2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about a literal dead end? The nice boat
Sugarpeas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cul-de-sac type pores in geology actually are not dead ends and permit flow. :)
yaosio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answers are the Star Wars prequels or the TNG movies.
Ambitus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Being a teacher."
Boogers73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is that not right?
Grinzpilz ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 03:03:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In German the chemical Hexene is called Hexen, which is also the same word for 'witches'. So when the test question was 'Draw the structural formula of 3-hexene' someone just drew 3 witches.
KMatthewJ ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:35:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost burned down a lab station with hexane. Last semester.
deathschemist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beyond heretic
icepick314 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bonus point for boiling cauldron
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me curious. Is the IUPAC spelling different for different languages?
Grinzpilz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a bit different, but I actually wrote it wrong first: Hexane= Hexan; and Hexene =Hexen.
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.
pixiechickie ยท 522 points ยท Posted at 00:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a high school consumerism class when, at the time, we were learning about different marketing techniques, some of which are particularly cunning. So during class discussion I ask if any of the students had been "suckered" into buying something but when they received it they were completely disappointed. The product was not quite as advertised.
One guy who was older than the rest of his classmates jumped up with an example he couldn't wait to share. "When i turned 18, I couldn't wait to buy [Girls Gone Wild."] Without further questioning he said, "Everything was just like the ads except for the tits."
Is that all there is ? Yup
Innerouterself ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:34:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember wishing I could buy that... late night tv was fun
pixiechickie ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:36:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he felt ripped off.
Flying__Penguin ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I understand what his complaint was. What was wrong with the tits?
piccolo3nj ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:07:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There were none
SuperSeriouslyUGuys ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:20:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's complaining about the editing. Like it's just a bunch of 2 to 5 second long clips cut together.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people just don't like perfectly good tits.
JuanPRamirez ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 05:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My class (AP English Language and Composition) recently did consumerism too. We had a question stating "what is one way to attract attention to a customer?"
A fellow student answered "get a huge sign and follow them"
I mean it was correct but it wasn't the type of answer we were looking for.
Hust91 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why else would you ask how to attract attention to someone?
JuanPRamirez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the answer she wanted was supposed to reference the ideas in Thomas Hine's "The Science of Shopping" not a big sign. He did get credit though
Hust91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:46 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, it's not a misstatement then, the question is literally how to make other people pay attention to the customer?
ActualChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To attract the attention of a consumer. The attention goes to your product or whatever.
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's full blown porn...or so I've heard.
pixiechickie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's what he was expecting but it wasn't. That's why he was disappointed. Just tits.
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm telling you. It's full blown porn.
pixiechickie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
ibcrandy ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 04:02:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, just a parent. My wife and I were going over animal sounds with our son. He was three at the time and was getting all the sounds right, and just to throw him a curve ball my wife asked "what does the fish say?" His reply was "Help! Put me back in the water!" Took us a few minutes to recover from that.
goblinqueen1513 ยท 500 points ยท Posted at 01:23:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, this just happened today! I wish I could upload the picture I took of this response. Long story short, as part of a vocabulary building activity in 9th grade English, the students were supposed to draw a visual representation of one of this unit's vocabulary words. A student turned in a drawing for the word "tyranny." The drawing consisted of a stick figure teacher labeled "Ms. GoblinQueen" (me) in front of three stick figure students. I laughed out loud when I saw it. He isn't technically wrong; most days, I am more of a tyrannical dictator than a democratic leader of the class.
dkgameplayer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:04:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goblins aren't known for having a democracy....
goblinqueen1513 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:13:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, we definitely are not! As the only literate goblin of the tribe, I have made use of my words and my cunning. I overthrew the previous chieftain (read: I stuck his head on a pike) and have forced the institution of "skool" on all of the tribe members. All hail Goblin Queen, the only gobbo teacher.
dkgameplayer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:16:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
skool sounds like fun
goblinqueen1513 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:20:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So much fun. Everyone says so (or else they end up like former chieftain).
NonaSuomi282 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until the first group of hobgoblins and orcs comes along with their frost giant buddy, and then you're the first one strapped into spiked armor and hefted into the backpack-mounted catapult. The Queen is ammunition! Long live the Queen!
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:58:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wherethefunbegins ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE SENATE
God_Told_Me_To_Do_It ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:16:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/PrequelMemes is leaking even in this thread? A surprise for sure, but not an unwelcome one.
carz101 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fine addition to my collection.
SiamonT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:21:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I LOVE THIS
DOCTORSTUDENT!fireraiser77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:07:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old theater teacher used to have good bit about being a tyrant and it always made me laugh:
"This isn't a democracy! It's a dictatorship, and I'm the head tator!"
Edit: autocorrect strikes again.
insanebits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
Workingusrname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an hones level 11th grade class on US history, my teacher used the word "tyranny" and one of the girls in our class put up a hand and asked "what's tyranny?". A little shocked, my teacher asked the class, "can anyone define tyranny without using the word "tyrant"?"
This poor girl...she, before anyone can try to answer says "Wait! Like...hang on, Tyrant? Like...the dinosaur?"
My teacher asks. "What?"
This girl responds with "You know, like, tyrant-saurus Rex or something?"
I laughed my ass off. The class laughed their asses off. The teacher tried really hard not to just laugh at the student. It was hilarious. This is the same teacher who, when we asked to go outside, and said we had taken a vote and decided class was outside today, said "this class is a benevolent tyranny, not a democracy". She was pretty great.
goblinqueen1513 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is awesome. :)
yamahagamerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary school art class the teacher was mad at me for not drawing. I proceeded to draw him yelling "DRAW SLAVES!"
exploding_cat_wizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a name like goblin queen it seems inevitable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure what he was expecting from a goblin monarch.
jusjerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better to lead the classroom with a sledgehammer than a velvet glove
ur_a_fine_person ยท 4598 points ยท Posted at 21:48:09 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach preschool.
One time, when we were eating lunch, one little girl called another kid in the class "stupid." A third preschooler -- who was a stickler for the rules and a bit of a tattle tale -- overheard and began admonishing the name caller.
"Don't call people stupid," she exclaimed. "Stupid is a bad word, and we don't say bad words."
A fourth child, Henry, overheard this announcement. Henry was always getting into trouble -- the smart ones are trouble makers at that age. He was my favorite student.
He looked directly at me, raised one eyebrow and said, "Oh yeah? Bitch and fuck are bad words too. We don't say those either."
I died.
Ospov ยท 590 points ยท Posted at 02:13:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of some preschoolers I taught. We were going to read Goldilocks and the Three Bears and one kid freaked out.
"We can't read that book! It has a bad word in it!" The book obviously does not have a bad word in it, but he was pretty adamant it had a bad word in it. When asked about it, he said "when the bears come back in and Goldilocks sees them she says 'OH SHIT! A BEAR!'"
ut_pictura ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 03:32:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, what?! I wonder who read him his bed time stories.
Ralmaelvonkzar ยท 187 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dad... that's a total dad move
PurrociousRAWR ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 07:45:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, my first thought was "dad strikes again". In kindy i got in trouble heaps of times for repeating, in all seriousness, things that my dad thought were hilarious. He never did learn not to tell those kind of jokes to small children, but I sure as shit learned not to believe anything that comes out of his bullshitting mouth.
Mal-of-the-firefly ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 05:28:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking an uncle. I have two uncles who played jokes similar to that.
crespoh69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol reminds me of me, while I don't curse, reading the same story over and over and OVER again to my toddlers gets a bit dry and boring for most adults so I tend to improvise every so often going by what is shown in the books rather than what's actually written.
My wife says, just wait until they're bigger and can read and find out you apparently can't.
I just can't help it, I often wonder what the writers were thinking when they wrote books like go dog, go
[deleted] ยท 2031 points ยท Posted at 21:58:18 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are choosing a book for reading
Giellelekelke ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 22:48:27 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/madlads
[deleted] ยท 459 points ยท Posted at 00:13:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R
ExtraShard ยท 390 points ยท Posted at 00:30:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R
ShayminKeldeo421 ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 01:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know Niantic employees went on Reddit!
DonMonXD ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:56:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon
EmperorGandhi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:28:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TOO SOON, EXECUTUS!
HotDiggityDamnSon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DIE, INSECT!
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:27:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MINOR TEXT FIXES
fizikz3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
must be an imposter.
birdsdontfly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
explanation? not getting this reference
ShayminKeldeo421 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A person contacted Niantic, the company who created Pokemon Go, for support when they lost items they purchased via microtransactions. A few weeks later, a Niantic customer service representative responded, but rather than an actual response it was just "r". Ever since then it's been a meme of sorts, poking fun at how bad Niantic's customer interaction is.
birdsdontfly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
okay now i get it that's hilarious! Thanks fellow pokemon master!
cryptekz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly it was Team Rocket leaving their calling card.
Lucarii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shudders
Geodude671 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:42:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
k
Girlinhat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
F
cakefraustin ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:25:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRR
RRR..............RRR
RRR................RRR
RRR.............RRR
RRR.....RRRR
RRRRRR
RRR.....RRR
RRR.........RRR
RRR.............RRR
RRR.................RRR
RRR.....................RRR
ExtraShard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:31:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRR
RRR..............RRR
RRR................RRR
RRR.............RRR
RRR.....RRRR
RRRRRR
RRR.....RRR
RRR.........RRR
RRR.............RRR
RRR.................RRR
RRR.....................RRR
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:10:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ExtraShard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:14:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RRRRRRRRRRRR
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R
CaptainMoonman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YAM
The_Real_ssj3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
who is the truly mad lad now
heartbreakhill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:00:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TRIGGERED
KeybladeSpirit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just assume my dead horse?
ExtraShard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old meme, get out
10000_vegetables ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:45:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R
Crimson_Raven ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ARRRRR!!
bringerofjustus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop typing so loud! I lost my hearing, not my seeing.
NumberTech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The nutter just can't contain himself!
justfarmingdownvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/
DiversityThePsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m
underscore_mc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a
Richierayqua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
d
WhatTheShitHappened ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
l
-MjD- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a
Mistercheif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
d
Doctor_Rainbow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
s
justfarmingdownvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we did it reddit!
cryptekz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By jove they're mad! They actually did it, the scoundrels!
/r/madlads
Anti-Antidote ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:46:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ad
XavierBob ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A
ernzo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa hard r there
Friburger ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:03:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you not only fuck up by not typing "/r/" but you also capitalized the r...
Like the admins started doing links for r/ because people kept doing it but they didn't even consider someone would fuck up this hard..
DestroyerOfAglets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/reallywackytictacs
BenSenior ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:55:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't put the necessary slash before the r
r madlads
M8asonmiller ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
your fucking username tho
LorraineRenee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:56:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in the voice of the South Park preschoolers.
MrRobotTheorist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine that little kid being the one who marched right into the office of the guy on BBC.
Anon4comment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna break a few hearts a few years from now.
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe you've done this!
imperialmoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insanity wolf righy there.
thurstylark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chaotic Neutral
Turtledoll ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:59:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did it! The absolute madman!
that-writer-kid ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:44:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love little kids saying bad words, it's hilarious.
I'm a sub and I think my favorite instance of this was an ill-fated kindergarten vocabulary lesson. I had a bunch of children at a table brainstorming "-it" words, which of course went badly.
Little boy: Is HIT in the -it family?
Me: It is! It's kind of a not-nice word, but it counts!
Little blonde girl, dressed in pink: Miss ThatWriterKid, does that mean "shit" is in the -it family too?
Me: ...Well, yes, it is.
Boy: But that's not a school word.
Me: No, it's not a school word! It's a strong word, so we don't use it at your age.
Boy: What about "tit", Miss ThatWriterKid?
Me: Let's think of some other words...
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Later that day:
What did you guys learn in school today?
We learned about tits and shits.
Fr4ctured1337 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:31:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't get it
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 01:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry realized that it is appropriate to use offensive language in the context of explaining offensive language. Seeing that it was acceptable to say bitch and fuck without reprisal, Henry grasped his opportunity, and he celebrated his victory with a raised eye brow.
olegos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just that toddlers swearing is pretty funny in any context
Sour_Badger ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny all the time but it's amazing when they use it in proper syntax.
monopticon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God. My niece's grandfather (not my dad) had a situation similar to these.
She couldn't have been older than 4 and she had a little tricycle that she was riding in the house while he was looking after her.
She began doing laps in the living room and out of no where she stopped in front of him, looked him dead in the eye and said:
Fuck, is a bad word.
She continued doing laps and every time she got to him she would stop and say it all over again.
He said he wanted to tell her to stop but it took every ounce of willpower not to laugh he just let it go on for a while.
LordAsdf ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:00:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The absolute fucking madman.
magicninja31 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 23:34:20 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em....
justfarmingdownvotes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:34:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Straight up child abuse
theathenian11 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To shreds, you say
Crimson_Raven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his wife?
70astralaxe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To shreds, you say...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:19:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a weird way to spell trebuchet
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
haha rectum
SnapCrack1ePop ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:08:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry is gonna go places.
Tocoapuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To the bathroom with that potty mouth!
this_isnt_happening ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:52:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My kindergartener son has developed a pretty cheeky cursing habit. He'll immediately apologise and use the word again in the apology.
As in "Oh, fuck!"
...
"Sorry about saying 'fuck'."
...
"I'm trying hard not to say bad words like 'shit' and 'bitch' and 'fuck'."
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:32:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An utter badass.
Arandmoor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:04:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/U6YPEPg.jpg
You dropped this.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:40:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor puppy.
Aperture_T ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:08:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have an aunt who still tells me not to say "bad words" like "stupid" when I'm around her. I'm 22. She's pretty difficult to be around for long periods of time.
She once told me a story about her friend who made what I deemed a poor decision, and asked me what I thought about it. Thinking I'd humor her, I told her that her friend was "being foolish", to which she responded that I shouldn't call people foolish. I tried again, and said that her friend "made a foolish decision," to which she was similarly offended. At that point I gave up, told her that her "dipshit friend fucked up," and walked away.
HighestOfFives1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what did you expect you would say? "your friend did a nono?"
Aperture_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is that she felt like her friend was tricked into making that decision and wanted me to feel sorry for the friend.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:18:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid
irishchemrebel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:03:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I genuinely laughed at this
LordHenry7898 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember saying that...
jeppev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My oldest (3 years) caught his mom saying 'for helvede' (meaning for hell) and repeated it. The first times we couldn't help ourselves and had to smile and chuckle. We then learned him, that it was an ugly word and now, once a week he is very adamant on telling us, that he never says 'for helvede', and that this other kid is saying 'for helvede' and that 'for helvede' is an ugly word, managing to say 'for helvede' a hell of a lot :) its hard not to laugh.
ext23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry is the kind of name that I can only imagine toddlers or really old people having.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:57:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chicken_dinnerwinner ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, maybe not. My good friend's very quiet daughter did something very similar in preschool. The teacher said something about being kind and saying nice words, and this little 4 year old quietly says "and that's why we don't say bitch."
Lt_Riza_Hawkeye ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:02:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the guy flared as lawyer, so yeah it probably is fake. Unfortunately the source url is a private subreddit now: https://www.reddit.com/r/EnoughHillHate/comments/4ppu1g/mrw_laypeople_on_rpolitics_try_to_explain_the_law/
Californie_cramoisie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He did say "used to."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:50:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I immediately thought of r/thatHappened
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Californie_cramoisie ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:02:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes real life is weirder than books and stories.
/r/nothingeverhappens
nice_usermeme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds pretty unfunny and not on topic, so it might just be real
Hypothesis_Null ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the one hand, I don't think kids (or anybody) should be encouraged to swear, and especially swear casually.
But I'd like to suggest that if "the smart ones are trouble makers at that age." then maybe we need to redefine what gets kids into trouble.
Bagzy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:41:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't visit Australia, mate.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where you call your mates "cunt" and your cunts "mate"?
Hey wait a second!
Visited. Lovely place. Lovely accents. Lovely Seafood. Lovely SCUBA diving.
You're right though, I could do without the vernacular. (And also everything trying to kill me but - priorities)
dougall7042 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does swearing bother you?
Hypothesis_Null ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:17:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because it permits lazy language, it's crude to listen to, and on the rare occasions it's really justified, it's not nearly as effective because of the diluted effect.
The counter-argument is: "They're just words, like any other. Quit treating them as special."
They aren't words like any other. When half of what some people say is one of seven 4-letter-words in various verbed or adjectivized forms, it starts to grate on you. If they weren't swear words, they wouldn't be used so much. Paradoxically, those saying: "They're no big deal." while swearing casually and constantly are not giving it no-special-treatment. They're just giving them the opposite-special treatment. It's still special treatment.
When I come across someone who swears incessantly, It makes me think of a 12-year-old who learned about swearing for the first time and does it as much as they can to 'seem like an adult'.
dougall7042 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:47:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I disagree, but thanks for replying.
I think it's an important tool in communication to use the same vocabulary as the people you're speaking to. If you religiously avoid cursing while working on a farm or an oil rig, you'll be treated differently. Swearing occasionally in a white collar workplace makes a person more informal and relatable. More creative language is always nice, but I feel swearing is a very important part of communication.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:03:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll certainly agree against any religious language-policing. If someone is visibly losing their shit (pardon my french) but is using language like "Gosh-darnit" then that betrays a very active refusal to swear, which starts to look dishonest. Like they're hiding behind a mask. That can be intimidating or disconcerting for people you work with.
Though by the same token, someone who just doesn't swear (maybe hardly is more what I'm going for) as general habit will be noticed by some other people that swear more casually, but that doesn't mean they have to change.
It might been seen as a quirk, but people aren't going to dislike you or ostracize you for not swearing casually. It's like teasing someone who doesn't drink alcohol. It's noticeable they don't drink, and even teasing will happen. But it's not like you get uncomfortable around someone who doesn't drink. It just makes them, them. (Plus, free Designated Driver!)
Likewise.
Storm137 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:34:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I was cussing at that age but my parents taught me that there was a time and place for everything.
And even so we still said the sillier stuff.
Instead of: "Oh FUCK" when stubbing a toe it was: "Fudgecicles."
But I had the entire phrase: "Oh fucking SHIT" in spanish memorized. And used it. Frequently.
Hypothesis_Null ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I mean, what's the point of a 2nd language if you don't swear violently in it?
Storm137 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:53:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? I can barely speak the language but I can still curse like a sailor in it.
Mom's whole side of the family is Puerto Rican. My worst mistake was saying it in front of my crazy aunt when she was making me carry heavy dishes downstairs and yelling at me every time the food shifted a little. I muttered it and there was silence before...
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOUNG LADY!?"
I booked it down those stairs.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right up there with: "Ffs stop fucking swearing you fuckin fuckers!"
An_Average_Lurker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking 10/10
!Remindme 1 month "reread"
FunctorYogi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Use%E2%80%93mention_distinction
(or, you know, Lisp macros or w/e)
Baggabones88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That caught me off guard. That's amazing.
fight_me_for_it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I would tell kids who wanted to tattle on others, "don't repeat it, just ignore it."
The rule "Don't say bad words" doesn't really work well.
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kid? Henry Kissinger.
timeforaroast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/madlads worthy
sillyribbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of when I was teaching preschool. One kid shouted across the room to me - "TEACHERRRR! MICHAEL JUST SAID FUCK!"
badluser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think the smart ones ever stop being the trouble-makers. I think they are just better at concealing it :)
cheasmonky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My comedian friend always said in school that all the kids were trying to make each other laugh and he always wanted to make the teachers laugh.
Kommdamitklar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:12:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I was considered "highly gifted," and I went to a special "gifted" school (had to take and entrance exam and everything to get into their kindergarten class) and I can tell you that I was never a trouble maker at that age. The only times I got in trouble were when I didn't understand the reasoning behind a rule or if I thought the rule was dumb. I am not saying I didn't break the rules, but I wasn't deliberately making trouble because I actually wanted to be in school.
MrStarfox64 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 02:33:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A preschooler knew the words "bitch" and "fuck"? My faith in humanity is slowly diminishing....
TheSugarplumpFairy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:13:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eyeroll
Bocaj1000 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A preschooler knows those words? How bad has society become? I had no inkling of the word "hell" until elementary school, and then I promised myself I would never use it until high school; a promise I kept.
FourOneNiner ยท 13954 points ยท Posted at 21:23:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name two ways to determine the height of a building using a barometer that is exactly one meter long:
1) Take the barometer to the top of the building, drop it, and time how long it takes to hit the ground.
2) Find the owner of the building and say: "Hey - I have this really awesome barometer I'll give you if you tell me how tall your building is."
LightChaos ยท 911 points ยท Posted at 23:36:28 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barometer_question
right_in_two ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 01:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The plot thickens!
TurboChewy ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the record, the question is fixed if you are given a barometer and only a barometer. Not a ruler or a stopwatch or a string or a building superintendent.
AsthmaticNinja ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 03:48:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well then how can I get on the roof? They aren't supposed to just leave that unlocked, I'm pretty sure it's a violation of some kind.
TurboChewy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:51:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, fair enough.
It's like when tasked with measuring the height of a building, and the expected answer is the ratio of shadow length, rather than straightforwardly measuring the height of the building.
LightChaos ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:59:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could measure the stairs in barometer-lengths, then compute the height of the building in barometer-lengths. Technically measured, even if not in any standard units.
TurboChewy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, the Empire State Building is exactly 1 Empire State Building high.
LightChaos ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:24:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And one empire state building is equivalent to 4452 barometer lengths! Aren't conversions great!
Troloscic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:30:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than imperial
Flying__Penguin ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:51:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you are allowed to walk from the bottom of the building to the top, then you can find the superintendent, you don't have to be "given" one.
Also depending on how accurate the measurement needs to be, you could still perform the stopwatch method just by counting the time in your head.
Or you could give the height of the building in units of barometer-lengths, without needing to measure the barometer with a ruler.
The only way to formulate the question so it truly has only one possible solution would be: "Given the following two measurements of barometric pressure, taken at different levels of elevation at a certain location on the surface of the Earth under ordinary atmospheric conditions, calculate the
distancedifference in altitude between the two points at which the measurements were taken."Edit: see /u/jklvfdajhiovfda's comment.
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:03:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't calculate the distance under your formulation, only the different in altitude. Those will be very similar numbers in the context of this question, but it would be very difficult indeed to make them exactly equal.
Flying__Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're right, my bad.
TurboChewy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:57:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At that point why not just eyeball it? Looks to be about 200 ft, give or take.
Also the length of the barometer isn't given in the original question, you'd need to measure it.
Flying__Penguin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:37:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original question does still specify that you have to "use" the barometer to get your measurement. It just doesn't say how.
No, I'm saying you use the barometer as a unit of length. As in "the building is 600 barometers tall."
TurboChewy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:03:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I can use the barometer as a unit of length, then I can use the building as a unit of length.
It's exactly 1 building tall, thank you very much. I got it right down to the last atom.
But yeah, I guess at that point you aren't using the barometer.
Polenball ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:18:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Place the barometer vertically on the tallest point of the building. The total height is 1 building plus 1 barometer. The building height is the total height minus 1 barometer, or one building.
TurboChewy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:31:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't argue with that logic.
massivecomplexity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start singing "The Stars and Stripes Forever" in your head. That particular tune is at 120 bpm. That means every 2 beats is one second.
doofinator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:44:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the OP said that the barometer is one meter long...
TurboChewy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:06:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The original question doesn't specify. Also the OP clearly made it up. Nobody would specify that the barometer is a meter long unless you intend to use it as a distance measuring tool.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they are intentionally giving information they think you can't use.
TurboChewy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Highly unlikely. The information is too easily used.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of useless information is information that seems like it could be used, though.
TurboChewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it can be used. You're essentially given a ruler. You can pretty easily figure out the buildings height using that.
Lynx436 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if youre only given a barometer, that doesn't mean you can't forage for or purchase other supplies....
TurboChewy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:33:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given only a protractor and the length of a building's shadow, how would you measure the height of a building?
Answer: Travel to a third world country and sell the protractor as a futuristic device. Trade up until you can afford to buy a copy of the building's blueprints, and find out the height from there.
reddhead4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are literally using other things there
TurboChewy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judt following that guys rule. Its also a separate example.
KingHavana ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:41:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard people attribute this to colleagues of theirs, and knew it had to be apocryphal.
Flying__Penguin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And those colleagues names?
Albert Einstein.
dtreth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nels Bohr.
tahlyn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed this wikipedia page.
FuckTripleH ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So basically this whole thread is about barometer questions
And this OP is a bit fat phony
el_muerte17 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty bullshit question. You'd just about need to be measuring a skyscraper to get any meaningful difference in reading with a household aneroid barometer. A 100m tall building at sea level would have less than 1% difference in air pressure from the bottom to the top, and that difference would shrink as the ground level increases. Plus, you'd have all sorts of variation in measurement from wind and temperature differences measuring a tall building in a city.
thithiths ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, in Intro to Earth Forces we had to come up with similar questions for a gravimeter and the professor gave these creative joke examples in class.
Jumpy89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I thought the people in this thread were being original...
a_reluctant_texan ยท 4186 points ยท Posted at 21:36:16 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3) Run a plumb line of the roof and mark it. Use the meter-long barometer to measure the length of the plumb line.
4) Stand the barometer on end and measure the length of the shadow it casts. Measure the length of the shadow cast by the building. The ratio of the length of the barometer to the length of its shadow will be the same as the ratio of the building height to the length of its shadow.
byllz ยท 4136 points ยท Posted at 23:59:37 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5) Place barometer on edge of roof. From the ground, use a laser range finder to find the distance from the ground to the barometer.
6) Use the Mercury in the barometer to create mercury fulminate. Use the mercury fulminate as an ignitor for a large amount of black powder to demolish the building. The building's height is now 0.
villainmcdillon ยท 1010 points ยท Posted at 00:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black powder isn't a great explosive for performing demolition. It tends to deflagrate rather than detonate, and mercury fulminate, while a great primary explosive used in building up your explosive train, isn't reliably initiated by convenient means.
ISUJinX ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 00:26:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Essayons!
4354295543 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super hooah
TheJack38 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that "We are trying" in french?
Proxy12345 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:51:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost! It's "let's try!"
TheJack38 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:58:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, almost! I should've remembered that one too... Imperative, I think it's called? I'm trying to learn french, so I try to read as much as I can, but I still have a long way to go :P
coinaday ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:11:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that's imperative! I think there are some additional nuances of conjugation, but I just basically remember it as when there's no explicit subject, it's imperative. Also, it changes objects around so it's "Dites-moi quelque chose" for instance for "Tell me something" (rather than, for instance, "Vous me dites quelque chose" for "You tell me something", indicative rather than imperative).
Elon61 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't it be "You're telling me something"?
ArchangBelle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:21:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
French lacks a continuous aspect per se, meaning that events that English would describe using its continuous aspect, French would describe using a neutral aspect. Therefore, there is no way to say "you tell me..." compared to "you're telling me..." (the copula "to be" is used together with the present participle, marked with the suffix "-ing".) In French, there is no such aspect to distinguish actions that are occurring at the time in question, and actions that focus on a wider time-scale.
That being said, there does exist the periphrastic construction รชtre en train de (to be in the middle of). For example: "je suis en train de parler" means "I'm in the middle of speaking", or more broadly, "I'm speaking". But generally speaking, this construction is not necessary and Francophones can tell by nuance whether you are using. One can also say "j'รฉtais en train de..." which means "we were in the middle of...".
There is an exception for the past tense. There exists the simple historic past tense, which is used often in literature. The imperfect does have a continuous aspect in relation to the simple (historic) past; e.g. nous parlions quand il frappa ร la porte ("we were speaking when he knocked at the door"). However, the passรฉ composรฉ is more often used to denote past events with a neutral aspect in a non-narrative context.
There are also other interesting constructions to express something just having happened, or just about to happen. Namely, these are the "simple past" and the "near future". These are constructed respectively as such: present indicative conjugation of "venir" plus "de" and the present indicative conjugation of "aller". For example: "je viens de parler" means "I just spoke", and "je vais parler" means "I am going to speak" (as contrasted with "I will speak", which evokes a wider time scale).
Quebec French often expresses a continuous sense using the periphrastic construction รชtre aprรจs (literally, "to be after"); for example, English's "we were eating" might be expressed in Quebec French either as nous รฉtions aprรจs manger, or as simply nous mangions, using the imparfait.
What this all adds up to: for /u/coinaday's phrase "vous me dites quelque chose", both "you're telling me something" and "you tell me something" are acceptable translations. I hope this all helps.
Elon61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see, thanks!
ArchangBelle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:41:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: the Jรจrrais continuous aspect is formed exactly as in Rhinish German. Jรจrrais constructs the continuous with the verb รชt' (be) plus ร (preposition) plus the infinitive. For example, j'tรชmes ร mangi translates as "we were eating". Not sure why I'm saying this. Languages can be a fascinating rabbit hole.
TheJack38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for the explanation! I keep forgetting what each form is actually called, because I never learned them before... I just keep doing the excersizes on duolingo and hope it'll stick eventually :P
Plus, I read a couple of issues of Asterix 'cause I loved that comic when I was a kid, and what better way to get some french immersion training?
coinaday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome! Duolingo is great. I took some French in high school and college, but probably would have forgotten most of it without Duolingo to review. I don't put as much time into it as I would like, and it's definitely harder learning languages I don't have prior exposure to, but it's a pretty cool system. I just got started on the Romanian; I was really excited to see them finally getting that one going.
TheJack38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, duolingo managed to do what high school french classes couldn't; get me to actually become kinda sorta conversational in french. At least I don't need a dictionary for every word now, just every third or so :P
I actually kinda want to try to learn Swahili... partially because it looks kinda cool, and also because I'm like the whitest guy you can imagine, so it would be freaking hilarous to bust out some swahili when people don't expect it :P
Proxy12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's all good you got the jist! French verbs can be a pain in the a** at times!
Also, u/coinaday's answer is spot-on :)
Source: French is my first language
TheJack38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! And yes, they are xD Waaay more to remember than with norwegian (my native language)... though I guess I'm kinda biased there 'cause, y'know, native language.
SurprisedPotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until I remembered my French, I thought it was a word for an indivisible quantum particle of written essay.
Proxy12345 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bonne idรฉe! reviens avec des croutilles
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't you be out filling hescos?
tranborg23 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard jet fuel is what you're looking for
papashuga ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:24:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bah, everyone knows jet fuel can't mels steel beams!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:14:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We never mentioned the building had steel beams, u/papashuga. Where did you learn that? What else aren't you telling us?
wheres_my_any_key ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:08:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd have to put the mercury fulminate into a tennis ball and then throw it at the black powder to get a good contact detonation... but you better be a good aim.
Not my method... I learned this from my chemistry lab assistant.
Rhodie114 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:23:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he skipped a few steps, but it works. You look up contracting companies in the city and pick the largest one. Then you drive to every school in city limits and pick up the kids with the same last name as the owner of the company. You tie them all two chairs seated in a tight ring around the drum of black powder. Place a call to the company and tell them they've got 12 hours to level the building completely or you light the fuse.
CedarWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Joker.
altaltaltpornaccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:21:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen breaking bad. That shit blows up when you throw it.
Source: I've seen breaking bad.
NoddysShardblade ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:49:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you just say "this is not meth" and then peg it at the floor in slo-mo?
M8asonmiller ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eli5?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To make a big boom, you need stuff to get really really hot really really fast.
Black powder gets really hot really fast. That's not good enough.
Mercury fulminate gets really really hot really really fast, but it takes one of a very few things to make that happen, and it's not easy to make any of those things happen. Mercury fulminate gets so hot, so fast, that it's one of the things that makes other things get really really hot really really fast.
M8asonmiller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So gunpowder burns better than it explodes?
Syrdon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. You can, reasonably safely*, set off a pile of black powder. Same with cordite. You couldn't do that with a high explosive.
*safely, as compared to the sort of explosives you use to demolish buildings. Clearly you shouldn't do this anywhere near anything anyone actually likes.
Koker93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One night we drew a line of black power to a pile of black powder and coverd the pile with a soup can. Not a large pile, like 1/3 of a golf ball. You light the trail and boom goes the soup can. We stopped when one went sideways instead of up and missed a friends head by a few inches. I doubt it would have done any serious damage, but that was enough drunken pyromania for the night.
floridog ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:09:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom tends to deflagrate
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:45:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage.
AxeEffect3890 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you hate when you're trying to detonate but you just end up deflagrating?
lkenny76 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EOD?
TheDefiniteIntegral ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Well YOU tend to deflagrate rather than detonate
(seriously, +1 for deflagrate)
King-Lark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was actually very informative. Thank you :)
sharklops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
makes a nice snappy crack when you strike a little bit with a hammer. As you said though, I wouldn't recommend that as a method to detonate a larger explosion
uniqueusername939 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a world where we measure building height with Barometers, I don't think convenience is a priority.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless the beams are made of steel, then they melt instantly
plumbtree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoot, well, other than that it was a really great plan
eskaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but neither is jet fuel.
kellehbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
might not be but get enough of it and it would still blow
ImLyingToYouRightNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about jet fuel?
spiral_divergence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy demolitions
PM_ME_YOUR_NYMPHAE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they did say LARGE.. Just use more.
tannimfodder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just like to believe you know this information because your username is appropriate.
sushilantern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying black powder can't melt steel beams?
JesseIMcLennan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought mercury fulminate was the stuff in snap pops... Just drop it and it explodes...
JMurray1121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NERD
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the terrorist...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as "black power" and was very confused for a second.
RustArtist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you know this?
TheSecretObjective ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy bangs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is completely dependent on the ammount of black powder used.
ThachWeave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did Breaking Bad LIE to me?
PzyKotiK86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... you're saying black powder can't melt steel beams?
AnyDemocratWillDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like we just need a lot of it.
KBWars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of black powder.
nickcan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, black powder can't melt I-beams. Wake up sheeple.
intensely_human ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He likely had business over there or was compelled by force.
trireme32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm everyone knows you just have to crystallize it then throw a handful-sized bag of it really hard on the floor and it will blow up the whole room........
otis_the_drunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably on some sort of list now.
Cryptoaster618 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:12:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Sell the barometer. Invest money wisely. Accumulate considerable wealth. Purchase building. Demolish building. Rebuild it to desired height. Now you know the height of the building.
CatOfGrey ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Create a pendulum, time the period of the swing, estimate height from your choice of pendulum equations that I've forgotten since taking physics 30 year ago.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:13:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8) Obtain air pressure at floor level, then obtain air pressure at rooftop. Then find your ASL elevation and get current air temperature readings. Then figure out :
Z = C x ( Bo - B ) / ( Bo + B )
C = 52494 x ( 1 + To + T - 64 ) / 900
Work it out to determine Z both both locations and the difference in altitude is the height of the building.
This will be difficult if you have an aneroid barometer or if you have a metric barometer (inches of mercury/inHg vs millibars). I'd recommend finding a barometric pressure conversion chart.
Pulling this outta my ass, except the formula that I ripped off google without checking if it was the actual formula I was looking for.
jvjanisse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:20:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9) State any number. If someone disagrees, tell them that you have 'alternative facts'
thawed_caveman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:10:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10) Either have ropes/climbing equipment or just be Spiderman; and climb the building while measuring it with the meter-long barometer.
11) Same as before except you descend the building instead of climbing it.
1Maple ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:29:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9) Tie a string to the barometer. From the top of the building, gently lower the barometer to the ground. Then measure the length of the string.
edible_starling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what was meant by the plumb line suggestion above. Definitely would work!
bspymaster ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:46:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys the teacher asked for two ways
Fucking overachievers.
anotherkeebler ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So nobody is going to diff the pressure readings at the top and bottom? Or Weigh the barometer and then suspend both the barometer and the building from a thread and measure the deflection? Or reform the barometer into an airfoil and propeller and determine the lift required. Or use the baton as the grand prize for whoever builds an exact duplicate of the original building, only this time we weigh each component and write down the number. Or we use the barometer to stuff it up someone arse since they are so famous a baritromotist.Or using our baton orchestrator skills sheave a small bit fascinated crew begin on a project to discredit the original building, depressing its value by no small margin, and when the strike price is met, tell the, you want a huge lamp at the top, and you want to stand in the lobby ready to light the lamp. You lit a hot air balloon and tied a string to it,and the other end to the barometer,there to keep it from laying off. The balloon reaches the top. It scrunched up on the ceiling, a lumpy shape with nevertheless a clearly distinction of how far the string was from roof, them the child, the brash one, takes his pellet, takes clear and confident,CEO confidence that his rubbed against is, gave up a moment of clarety. The pistol snaps and the faint touch of lead pellet to the balloon, its ribbon coiling form fast and now we km how far the work was from those who could disrupt the job without even caring.
The barometer, badly incalibrated, still has mass and heft. Uncle swung it down grinning at the guards who'd sworn to keep his kind long after dark.
edit Evidently Ambien and autocomplete get along really well. Re-reading the above, I have no idea how to edit it into something comprehensible. So as a lesson to myself I will leave it as it is.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DoxBox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:45:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Officer, it's "hi, how are you?"
And I'm fine thanks I just smoked a huge blunt.
anotherkeebler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:56:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ambien at bedtime, sorry.
edit Ambien plus autocomplete, damn.
pikk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lololololol
swohio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the one guy used a plumb line and the other used a laser range finder in their solutions. You only have a barometer given to you, not any other tools.
-917- ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well done, byllz. Well done.
Shumatsuu ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:47:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Climb the building with the barometer and a marker, marking each length.
8) Safer method. Rip off any part of the building, such as one connected to the gutter to release water, and measure that.
poopwithjelly ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:59:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Place the barometer on the ground with a camera recording, looking in it's direction. When someone walks by, and picks it up, pop out of the bush you were hiding in and tell them that it is a very expensive barometer and you will report them to the authorities unless they give you the exact height.
8) Call the architectural or construction firm that built the building using the barometer to dial the number.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:28:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Gazzzah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:41:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black powder can't melt steel beams
Engineer1822 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Do an incredibly intense mathematical proof and simply declare that a solution exists and that the proof is way beyond the scope of the class, resulting that you should receive full credit.
DanielXD4444 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:53:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) make up a new measuring system and use the fluid in the barometer to erite down its exactly 1 flurpadurp tall
8) question wheter it even matters how tall the building is and while youare spirallingout of control questioning the very foundations of reallity, use the barometer to slid your wrists
Wow that got dark
beefstick86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1.) Take the barometer and perform a sexy webcam show until you get enough money to bribe your teacher for the answer to the problem
2.) Break the barometer, and raise your middle finger in the air. Then you stand far enough away from the building that your middle finger appears to be the same height as the building. Measure your middle finger and the distance you are from the building. Perform equation.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Go to city hall and pose an inquiry about how tall it is.
wolfpwarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) At some known distance from the building, put a camera/eye close to the ground. Have barometer placed to appear as tall as the building from the view point. Measure distances of building and barometer to the view point.
8)Use barometer to measure off 57.7X meters from the building and use sextant or other tool to measure angle of build roof above horizon from ground level. Set X such that angle is much less than 30 degrees. Height of building=angleX.
billbill17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) put down the barometer and google how tall the building is
ChezeSammy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Set the barometer on the ground. Open browser on phone. Search for building. Read height.
8)
shhhhquiet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8) (More challenging method.) Repeat the steps above but do so while holding the barometer in your hand. Do not drop it.
groeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better to make a plane out of that barometer and then fly it into the building. Praise kek
JoystickMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Rappel down the side of the building with barometer in hand. Place the barometer from end to end all the way down the side of the building. As the barometer is a meter long, you can use this to measure the building.
Rjacobs914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the height of the remaining rubble? call the shadow ratio guy?
jklvfdajhiovfda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The rules of this game were quite simple, and most of these solutions fail to follow the rules.
1) You don't have a stopwatch.
2) Not repeatable, so not scientifically valid.
3) You don't have a plumb line.
4) You don't have a device with which to measure the length of the barometer's shadow. You can, however, measure a different object using the barometer and then use that as a measuring device, so this one works, but only during specific times of day when the shadow can be measured quickly relative to how quickly it changes. There's also a question of whether or not you can actually measure 0.1m using this 1m barometer. If you can't, then the entire method goes out the window, but I think you can get a very good estimation in the worst case, so it should count.
5) You don't have a laser range finder
6) You don't have a large amount of black powder
loki130 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that the barometer is measuring pressure in mm of mercury, I'd assume it has the gradations necessary to function as a ruler.
rangi1218 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woo there Walter White
koshki4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Find barometer, strap to your back. Measure building
man2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Use the barometer to compare barometric pressure at the base of the building with the barometric pressure at the top, then use the standard pressure gradient tables to find the height of the building. (same way a barometric altimeter in an airplane works).
Forkyounot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Google public records to find the blueprint of the building.
chechenk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Takeout the mercury from the barometer and place it in a a petri dish. Using black magic, cast a spell on the mercury filled petri dish and watch it transform and multiply into jet fuel. Use jet fuel to melt the building's steel beams. The building's height is now 0.
Nicolascagebois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) work out the length from top right corner to the bottom left corner and width. A2 = c2 - b2 Duh
seedanrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Put on Spider-Man suit. Climb up side of building using barometer as one meter measuring stick.
8) Hang barometer from plumb line just off ground and swing back and forth. Time how long swing takes. Find height (H) with equation T = 2ฯโ(H/g).
Shiloh29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, Dwight Shrute.
Real_megamike_64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) rinse
8) repeat
schattenteufel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this kills the building.
pikk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
TedCruzIsARealHuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) google it
Butta_Butta_Jam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Take the barometer to the top of the building and take a reading. Take it to the ground and take another reading. Tell some fucker that knows math, science and shit you'll kick the ever-loving fuck out of him if he doesn't do math and shit to determine the height of the building.
8) Find the architect that designed the building. Smash the barometer and threaten to stick the broken glass in his eye if he doesn't tell you the height of the fucking building.
MrCopprHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7)Drop barometer from edge of roof. Time how long it takes to reach the ground and integrate the acceleration due to gravity to acquire a position vs time graph. 8) fuck im out of ideas
byllz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take a look at 1).
MrCopprHead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fuck. Well mine explains the math ;)
byllz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you forgot that you have to integrate not once, but twice. Integrating once will only get you the velocity.
MrCopprHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping integrating twice was implied by saying acceleration and position. But I am a dumby so rip me.
byllz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You failed to put a period on the end of your last sentence. 'Alas' probably should be bracketed by commas as well.
slow_one ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7) Measure the length of the barometer in centimeters ... you now have a unit of measure of length "one barometer". Talk the window washer in to letting you hitch a ride, laying the barometer end to end, marking the number of barometer lengths the building is as you go down the side, starting from the top. Convert "number of barometer lengths" to centimeters.
(Seriously. How'd you guys forget that one?)
byllz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you miss the part about "exactly one meter long?". Also it is pretty much just a harder version of 3).
slow_one ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always make sure your tools are in good working order and calibrate your instruments before using them. ALWAYS
shakes head and walks away
Hautamaki ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 23:50:46 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the shadow is gonna be a moving target though, better act fast!
Sadpanda0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Measure the barometer shadow first and the change in the building shadow will be minuscule! Unless it's a really short building...
Squid_In_Exile ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:32:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Step 1.a) - check if building is shorter than barometer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
senor_top_hat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait till your shadow is your height, then mark on the ground where the building's shadow end. Measure. Win.
GhostPantsMcGee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:49:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Measure the measuring stick's shadow.
But how?
a_reluctant_texan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking tape measure. But you could just wait until the barometer's shadow is the same length as the barometer and then use the barometer to measure the building's shadow
GhostPantsMcGee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slow learner, eh?
laplumedematante ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:17:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! Nobody said you could use a plumb line! It's about using what you've got.
alkenrinnstet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:47:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if I ask you to to measure the length of a field for me with a stick, you pull out a mapping satellite from your back pocket?
sixblackgeese ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck said you get a plumb line?
a_reluctant_texan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't say "using only a barometer".
sixblackgeese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on man
Toto_radio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid question, stupid answer. I'd allow it.
sixblackgeese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is it reasonable to assume that original question meant you get the stated equipment and also all other equipment? What would be the point of that? Understanding English means including context.
Toto_radio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate those logic puzzles with a passion, because it tests more the fact that you've heard it before than your way of thinking about a problem. I have no problem with trolling the shit out of someone who asks a question like this.
a_reluctant_texan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly the context was pointing at taking a barometer reading at street level and another on the roof and working some math on the pressure difference. I'm far enough removed from that particular science class that I'd have to look up some stuff, but I'd bet you'd at least need to know the temperature and possibly the altitude at street level. So there would be a need for other equipment anyway. And the point of my response was to provide a solution that is "not technically wrong".
Gorstag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like that shadow one. So simple once described but completely unintuitive.
chewwie100 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:51:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing this pissed me off. We had this thing in grade school where we had to measure the height of a lamppost. A bunch of kids who taped meter sticks together got full credit, but I did the ratio of the shadow thing and got it right. I was so happy with myself, and then only got half marks for some stupid fucking reason.
Fuck grade school
a_reluctant_texan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have given you bonus points.
alkenrinnstet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So if I ask you to to measure the length of a field for me with a stick, you pull out a mapping satellite from your back pocket?
TrudeausGreatHair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed 4 was what they were looking for. Why else is the length worth mentioning?
Jake0024 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could also stand the barometer on end, find the position from which the barometer exactly obscures the height of the building, and infer the height of the building from similar triangles by measuring out the distance from that point to each the barometer and the building.
a_reluctant_texan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it.
Paddy_Tanninger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By the time you measure all that shit the shadows will have changed.
a_reluctant_texan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Work fast.
bolecut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An easier way to do number 4 would be to measure the angle below the horizontal that the top of the barometer makes with the top of the building. Using SOHCAHTOA you can then use like triangles to measure the height.
joshi38 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the time of day, if it's early or late enough that the shadow is longer than the building, you may as well just measure the building (depending on how easy that may be compared to measuring a shadow that may have other buildings and structures in the way).
Allons-why ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 23:32:34 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the expected answer?
AOEUD ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 00:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pressure = density of air*gravity*change in height
Pressure at the top of building - pressure at bottom of building = density of air*gravity*(height of building)
And you can measure those two pressures with the barometer.
Edit: incidentally, since we know the length of the barometer in OP's question (which I don't believe is fundamental to the legend), I like the pendulum answer best. Find its period and use that to determine local gravity on top and at the base of the building, and use Newton's law of universal gravitation to calculate the height.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hfiggs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well AOEUD only gave one answer. The other answer would be that you could see how many lengths of the barometer the building is. Then you know the height, in meters.
no_this_is_God ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:38:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh right because in a building where there's an air pressure change of anything more than negligible it's gonna be real easy to measure it with a meter stick.
TreeBaron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:27:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously, just get your giant hypothetical ladder, and you're all set.
tsaurini ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You would then just measure the building against the goddamn ladder.
Allons-why ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:26:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if it's windy? Won't the pressure always be changing?
ErroEtSpero ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:22:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a normal barometer like you have on your wall? Absolutely. But, there's ways around it.
(Edited because I definitely mixed up where the altimeter input comes from.) Aircraft basically use a barometer that reads in feet for an altimeter, despite the fact that they're always generating some relative wind. They do this by measuring static pressure instead of total pressure. Essentially the barometer is in a case that is airtight except or one little hole oriented 90 degrees to the wind. So you don't measure any dynamic pressure at all, and can get a reliable altitude reading.
Using similar concepts you can get airspeed. Basically, you stick a barometer at the back of a tube that you make sure is pointed into the wind. The ram air down that tube is essentially stagnant (under normal circumstances), so you can read the total pressure. It's stable enough that you can get accurate readings, and even compare it to static pressure readings on the side of the tube (perpendicular to the wind) to get your dynamic pressure, which is related to airspeed. It's pretty nifty.
JohnNardeau ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:12:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pitot tube, right?
ErroEtSpero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, though I initially botched the explanation. It's fixed now.
Allons-why ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's very nifty.
alpacafarts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh good old high school physics and ignoring those slight real world inconveniences.
https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/669:_Experiment
torchbearer101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you got this mixed up. Dynamic pressure aka ram air is used to read airspeed via the pitot tube. The Altimeter reads static pressure changes via the static port. You can consider the altimeter the barometer measuring pressure changes with relatively undisturbed air collected from the side of the fuselage.
**Edit* The Airspeed indicator which uses dynamic pressure also utilizes static pressure, just to keep airspeed accurate at different altitudes.
Peewee223 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's... not quite right.
Pitot tubes (what you're describing) are used to measure "indicated" airspeed, and the pressure changes depending on how fast you're flying. IAS is useful to know since it's related to things like stall speed, even though it's not necessarily exactly how fast you're moving.
An altimeter is more like a plain old barometer that measures ambient pressure, and has a setting knob (well, on analog gauges anyway) that can adjust the displayed altitude to match weather conditions. It's hooked up to a "static port" - somewhere on the plane where pressure should match the ambient pressure while moving.
Source: bigger aerospace nerd than you are, neener neener.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitot-static_system for more details
ErroEtSpero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:29:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I'm aware of the indicated vs actual difference, but was simplifying, and definitely mixed a few things up in the original.
I didn't mention the difference between IAS and TAS because, honestly,1/sqrt sigma prime for a normal windspeed and building height is pretty negligible. For example, on a standard day (according to the nearest chart I had on hand) if you assume you're measuring the empire state building (1250' tall, and starting at about 30' MSL) on a standard day that has a nice stiff 30kt wind. You would read about 29.4kt indicated. Of course there's gauge error, but I'm figuring you've got a calibrated instrument. I suppose you could get some significant error if you were only measuring the airspeed without correction and standing on a mountain in high winds, but I was thinking it wasn't worth getting into the weeds over for this guy Thanks for the refresher, though, I haven't done those calcs in a while.
And I agree the altimeter works very much like a plain old barometer with a QNH ajustment. I definitely got myself backwards there, though. The altimeter reading definitely comes from the static port, not the ram port, though I mentioned the static port as being on the side of the tube since that's where it is on a lot of modern aircraft. Thanks for the catch, friendo.
P.S. I'd be pretty impressed if your'e actually a bigger aerospace nerd than I, and if so we need to be friends.
torchbearer101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you got this mixed up. Dynamic pressure aka ram air is used to read airspeed via the pitot tube. The Altimeter reads static pressure changes via the static port. You can consider the altimeter the barometer measuring pressure changes with relatively undisturbed air collected from the side of the fuselage.
ErroEtSpero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely mixed some stuff up, and I'm on my way to fix it. The altimeter does read static pressure using the static port (often times located on the side of the pitot tube in modern aircraft making it a prandtl tube). However, you've got a bit of a mix up there, as well. Dynamic pressure isn't measured directly in a pitot static system. The ram air gets total pressure, and since pt=pd+ps you can get dynamic pressure and thus calculate airspeed. Thanks for keeping me honest.
torchbearer101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Np.
So total pressure and static pressure give you dynamic?
ErroEtSpero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can use them to figure out dynamic. Maybe this can clear it up?
JustAnotherPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so will the height of the building due to minuscule thermal expansion. We assume all unknown factors are negligible.
HansJobb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what's method number two? Comparing pressure at the top to data tables?
skitchx48 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's exactly one meter long so you could use it as a meter stick.
MovingClocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Data tables wouldn't necessarily work because air pressure changes with the weather (high pressure and low pressure fronts are what drive weather patterns around the world).
Bahamute ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's only one way to determine it.
AOEUD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's obviously the whole point of the legend, but it's the approach they're looking for.
Zeus1325 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but what if a high pressure front moves through when you are moving the barometer?
FlappyFlappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The top of the building is likely to have higher winds and frequent gusts. Some cheaper barometers will simply register higher speeds as lower pressure, so this is the least reliable method to use a barometer to measure the height of the building.
Thermodynamicist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The relationship isn't linear because air is compressible.
z = โ(RT/gM)(ln p0 โ ln p)
Derivation
Because this derivation assumes a fixed value of g, the answer is actually in geopotential rather than geometric units of distance, so e.g. 1 geopotential metre = 9.80665 J/kg delta gravitational potential energy; at this stage, the interested reader is directed to the definition of the US standard atmosphere, 1976, which contains more comprehensive derivations, specifically covering geopotential altitude in section 1.2.3.
This model assumes a spherical earth, and 45ยบ latitude, so more fun is to be had converting to something better.
Both of the above considerations are important if the measurement is required to be accurate to better than a few metres, as is humidity; I think the trigonometric answers proposed are likely to be more accurate.
Metrology is hard.
Cheatcodek ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Measure the atmospheric pressure at the top and bottom of the building.
Lapee20m ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell the maintenance man that you will give him this shiny barometer if he will tell you how tall the building is.
bright_yellow_vest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dumb. I would've used the length of the shadow cast by the upright barometer and trigonometry then scale that up to the size of the shadow cast by the building.
Kempeth ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 23:18:28 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Board on of those window washer cranes and count how many times you can put the barometer end on end on your way down.
Find the custodian and say: "Hey I have this really sturdy barometer. I'll hit you over the head with it if you don't tell me how tall this building is."
spen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:53:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he doesn't tell you, when you are arrested and put on trial for assault (and battery), have to height of the building read into the record at court.
P4li_ndr0m3 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:18:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assault and barometery.
ampereJR ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:25:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm embarrassed at how well this would work on me. I'd do just about anything legal and ethical for nice weather instruments.
ElfBingley ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:27:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you actually taught Niels Bohr?
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/barometer.asp
Lapee20m ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This fake barometer story is the very first email in my oldest email account, which is approximately 18 years old now.
Fen_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:20:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is famous, so I'm guessing that not only did your students not ever answer with this, but you're probably not a teacher either.
robragland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this question and the response from the pilot episode of "Head of the Class".
alfredhelix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:38 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this on QI once.
cannondave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3) Not enough information, is the building at ground level or below?
4) Use a ladder, 1 liter of black glue and a pencil. First paint one meter on wall, then measure how many times the width of the barometer is, divide and now you have width of barometer. Use ladder, climb building while counting barometer widths, until you know entire height.
MrLeville ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Works better with "I bet you this barometer I can guess the height of your building" , guess anything and note down the true value when giving him the barometer.
mberre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have gone with:
"Use the barometer to measure the building's shadow, in meters, then measure the barometer's shadow, then solve for X"
aaron552 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For #1, depending on the height of the building, you may have to take the terminal velocity of the barometer into account when calculating the height.
cudachal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this in a physics class a few weeks ago
I know that's you Mr.Lat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL how to determine the height of a building using a barometer
Blesbok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second one actually made me laugh out loud. Awesome!
bradrlaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't an alternative answer be:
walk away from the building and use the barometer to count how many meters you walked
when the after walking a meter and placing the barometer upright and looking at it from ground level a meter away (just pivot it to mark the spot) and the top of the building is at the top of the barometer stop walking. (45 degree angle)
You know have a right angle triangle where two sides are equal. The amount walked +1 and the height of the building.
iMarmalade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's been reading old engineering jokes.
aprofondir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let the barometer fall from the building and use the free fall formula to get the height?
watafaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The second one belongs to /r/antijokes
awildwoodsmanappears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also apparently a good question to find the autists among us
Pardoism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the greatest thing I've read all day. Thank you for this.
omart3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what do you do with the information about the time it takes for the barometer to hit the ground?
kirbysdream ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trade it for a really long tape measurer
Geronimo2011 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:29:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
s = a/2 *t2
omart3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gonna need more details please.
Geronimo2011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
s= height in meter
a = 9,81
t = time in seconds
5 seconds fall time = 5x5x(9.81/2) = 125 meters
edit: failed to use /2
omart3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And where do you get 9.81?
Geronimo2011 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the earth acceleration (gravitation). I round to 10 (m/s2)
and i had a computation error above
rydan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me when we had a similar question in Astronomy involving a laser, a plumb bob, and a protractor. We needed to find out how far away a far away road was on the horizon. My suggestion was to shoot the eyes of a driver with the laser and count the number of seconds between seeing the crash and hearing it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:56:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read bulldog and was very confused.
jayxavierito ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the correct answer?
Paroxysm111 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:21:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a really good example of stupid questions given to kids. Why would anyone ever use a BAROMETER to measure the height of a building? You could do it much easier with measuring tape and some trigonometry.
Vortex637 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:35:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would the owner know how tall their building is?
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barometer's measure air pressure. Why would anyone use one to measure something? Seems a very oddly specific piece of equipment.
In any case, depending on how high the building is, dropping it off the edge might well give you a good estimate if you can time it properly. Air resistance will mean you won't get the 100% right answer though.
sin94 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is a brilliant and scary answer, either the student going to be a genius scientist or the president of the united states
LvnSuede ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 01:28:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Erika was supposed to write an essay about the Transcontinental Railroad, but instead wrote the whole thing about the Transcendental Railroad.
Smgth ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's not a band name from the 1960's Hippies should be ashamed of themselves.
Ssgogo1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:58:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the transcendental railroad?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the answer to the Existential Railroad.
marpocky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:13:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a railroad which is not the solution to any polynomial with rational coefficients.
ScarletNumbers ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:27:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It never ends
3spaghetti3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Erica!! Who let you put of the burn ward?
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Buddha's preferred method of travel.
disambiguated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me you have a copy of this in your possession and can post it here.
FutureWaves ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 02:33:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas Jefferson was from vagina. While technically correct, I was looking for Virginia!
flargenhargen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:07:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vagina is for lovers
mimi1218 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:29:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened in class once. The kicker? We fucking live in Virginia.
d96083 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:08:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knew a guy who had a shirt custom made. It was meant to imply he was a Virginia boy. Instead, it said Gina boy
dragon_morgan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:13:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"These vaginians are birds of a feather."
"I'm from vagina so you watch your mouth!"
Ssgogo1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have about 1k more up votes or gold
REricSimpson ยท 1821 points ยท Posted at 00:51:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my students to draw a picture of a ninja chicken on an exam. One student drew nothing, and pointed out that the chicken was such an effective ninja that he was invisible.
Checkmate.
Teresa_Count ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 02:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of exam was that
Joshygin ยท 175 points ยท Posted at 04:00:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High schools in Alabama have really let their standards slip.
todayonjeremykyle ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:54:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or improve.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:02:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke, but 16 year olds in my class can't remember the Pythagorean Theorem.
Jonathon471 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:23 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you teach your kids that there are 4 types of matter.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 05:19:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ninja chicken studies 101.
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thing to know about Ninja Chickens, don't drop a spoon anywhere near them.
Rootbeer_Glory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would totally take that next semester ๐
Blockbuster_Guy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:55:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A good one
ElectroBoof ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always had high school teachers that asked us to draw them a picture on the back when we finish the test
RasterTragedy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once completely botched a question on an exam, but got a point on it anyway for drawing Batman.
NaturesHealer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:29:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An art exam, obviously.
Aperture_T ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:17:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a lot of teachers who like to give a few easy questions so students can at least get a few pity points. Normally, they ask about trivially easy parts of the course material, but I had one that asked arbitrary questions like "If you were an animal, which one would you want to be?" or "If you had a super power, which one would you prefer?" Other times, he'd ask trivia questions like "What is the flight speed of an unladen swallow" to see if people got the reference, and give you points no matter what you wrote.
TerrorEyzs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:26:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean airspeed velocity.
Aperture_T ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:27:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't get the quote quite right.
TerrorEyzs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:03:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see those being actual questions though. Like, "if you were to have a super power, which would it be? Explain why you chose that power over other potentially more useful powers."
24 mark essay question, of course.
Aperture_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make sense for a creative writing course, but this was extra credit on a quiz for a Computer Science course. Also, I could get full credit on that question as long as I wrote something down at all.
-Karakui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was imagining more a Rational Thinking course than a creative writing course but I guess that works too. Definitely not a computer science thing though, agreed. Unless you took The Ability to Compile Code Without Any Errors...
tigkid ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 04:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind that's in a class taught by a 20 something teacher that thinks they're cool
TerrorEyzs ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:22:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh poo. You're just being bitter. You know you would've loved to have had a teacher like that.
therealmocha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be 60% of your final grade, no tracings
marnevel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, Calc 3...
Mike77321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Fine-Arts major.
buttaholic ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 04:17:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Algebra for the retard class
DontOpenTilXmas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:21:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The short bus advanced class.
-Karakui ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of exam.
flyingteabag ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:35:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me want to be a teacher too. So that I can ask the kids to draw ninja chickens
IHappenToBeARobot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:30:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to imagine that you teach a university-level course.
EXTSZombiemaster ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://nuclear-throne.wikia.com/wiki/Chicken
EricKei ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:12:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see your ninja chicken and raise you a ninja being attacked by a chicken.
lukedux ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that yodeling was epic
doodwhatsrsly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:00:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck did I just watch?
-Jason-B- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:16:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken Attack
TerrorEyzs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:31:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omfg I can't stop laughing! That was so stupid and hilarious! Thanks for sharing that!
buttbutts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck kind of exam
yaosio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:42:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Below is a picture of a white dog in a blizzard.
RaiderofTuscany ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full marks
throwawaytodayokc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What class was this?
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:21:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you didn't
bombikid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a joke on elementary school that went like this "what's black on the outside and yellow on the inside? A ninja chicken"
RaidedVillager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check out Chicken Attack on YouTube.
JaymesMarkham2nd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once given paper and told to draw something peaceful. I handed it back blank and said it was snow.
80DD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, ninja's dressed like normal people to blend in. So the correct answer would just be a normal chicken.
galaxie62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher in high school who always had a crazy extra credit question like this.
LerrisHarrington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have gone with an ordinary looking chicken.
"That man looks nothing like a ninja!"
"Ahh, but that's exactly what a ninja should look like"
Workingusrname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Demaris?
He asked us what color a magical goat would be for extra credit. Anyone who came up with something highly entertaining got extra cred.
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some club at my high school like Key Club or something that you actually had to apply for. I sat next to a girl in German class who was applying to the club. A bunch of the questions were actually related to club activities, but one of them was obviously related to some stupid inside-joke the club members had...
"You discover one day that there is a she-wolf in your closet. Draw a picture of the beast and write what you would do to vanquish the she-wolf." (this was shortly after the Shakira song became popular)
The girl didn't know how to draw a "she-wolf" so she asked me what I would draw. I had the teacher who led the club as a math teacher, and the storage closet in her room had a sign taped on the frame that said "there's a she-wolf in the closet."
I remember thinking it was really stupid to include an inside joke that nobody would understand as part of the application...
[deleted] ยท 888 points ยท Posted at 01:35:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my teacher said my answer was really funny and gave me partial credit. Question was "How long does it take for Mars to revolve around the sun?"
I said "One Mars year."
Troaweymon42 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:49:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twice as long as it takes for it to make it halfway around the sun was the right answer.
MWisBest ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:26:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that actually technically correct though? Planets don't have perfect orbits, and Mars' is especially eccentric.
paralog ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:02:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it depends on how you're defining "halfway." Say it takes me 60 minutes to drive to work 40 miles away. It takes me 30 minutes to navigate 10 miles of local roads, then it takes me 30 minutes on the highway to drive the remaining 30 miles.
My boss tells me to call when I'm halfway there. Should I do that after 30 minutes when I've only gone 10 miles? Or after 20 miles, when I'm only 20 minutes away?
Could argue that if 2*half doesn't equal whole, half and whole aren't measuring the same thing.
The answer to my hypothetical is that I quit, because I hypothetically happen to work in the state of New Jersey, and it is illegal to talk on my phone while driving. Further, since I work on the side of a highway, my boss has implicitly instructed me to put the safety of my coworkers in danger by driving distracted. If my boss's request was documented in an email, voicemail, or note, he's going down.
Martinwuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hypothetically, it is not illegal to talk on the phone while driving in New Jersey. You can call 911 while holding your phone, or you can use a hands free device to speak over the phone to any other number.
Aperture_T ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:22:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, a better answer might be "twice as long as it takes Mars to travel from one of its orbit's two apsides to the other."
Tysheth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:26:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the plural of the word apsis.
Aperture_T ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually just looked it up. I couldn't remember what the generic term for things like apogee and parigee are.
super_aardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you judge "half" by measuring the area of the ellipse swept out by the orbit during that time, then yes.
Troaweymon42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, yes.
9manacombo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:52:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The understanding of how years work is probably far more useful than knowing the exact amount of time it takes for mars to revolve around the sun.
rangi1218 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's true though
sericatus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very precise!
jaybill ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it that a planet orbits the sun and revolves around its own axis, though?
ooooooop10 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:56:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Revolves around the sun, rotates on its axis
JustZisGuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically most planets dont just orbit the sun, but also a barycenter in common with their moon(s). For that matter, they don't even really orbit the sun, but the solar system's barycenter... which can be external to the sun.
ooooooop10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:50:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if we're being technical this becomes a lot more complicated. Gravity goes both ways, so the sun and the planets are actually orbiting each other, proportional to their masses. In our star system that's pretty irrelevant, but in others places you can have stars that move dramatically, and some that even orbit other stars. Each object revolves around a common focal point depending on their masses/distance etc. For us that point is a negligible amount away from the center of mass of the sun, but for Jupiter-like planets very close to their stars you can actually measure the "wobble" of the star.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:41 on May 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's more, gravity waves travel at the speed of light, so the barycentre is actually a point where the centre of mass was, relative to the distance between the object and the barycentre, rather than where it is.
jaybill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There it is. So "revolve" and "orbit" are synonymous. I had it backwards.
mmotte89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it shows understanding of the definition of the general, planet agnostic, concept of a year.
BT4life ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:57:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If she had asked how long does it take Mars to rotate and you said "1 Mars day," would that be correct? Because a Mars day is called a sol.
Rudera1is ยท 312 points ยท Posted at 01:26:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school my art teacher teaching her first semester started an abstract art assignment but did not supply any sort of grading rubric when I asked. I scribbled randomly on the page and when she asked about it I simply said it's too abstract to be easily explained. I got 100%. I also got away with adding a few dots to the background of a drawing of a falcon in a bowl of punch and saying he's in space when she told me that I was missing a background. We got away with lots in that class. Apparently she was super strict every year after that haha.
howaboutnothanksdude ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did that same. I love art but I got frustrated with one project, and after redoing it twice, I just threw some paint on it and outlined some shapes in sharpie. She said she was "almost moved to tears" at my piece. I was like "Bitch what?"
trapdoorogre ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:40:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either she fooled you into putting your emotions (frustration in this case) onto canvas (or paper or what have you) OR she trolled you. Either way, she won. Maybe you should paint more? Then, when you realize it feels good, you too can win.
howaboutnothanksdude ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a painter, as I stated I enjoy art. I just did not like that project she stuck us with. She was a rather interesting teacher, used to bring her pet rats to school sometimes. Never a dull moment. Edit: Grammar fix
RaggySparra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:26 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kind of thinking is part of why I hated art class. How am I supposed to put "I am bad at this, I am bored out of my skull, and this has no relevance to my life" into a pencil drawing of an apple?
(I feel like a lot of art teachers would be nicer people if they were sent to teach college, where people choose to take art, rather than high school where we're there because the government says so.)
PythonEnergy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:47:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's possible. The depth of the feelings a painting can evoke have no relationship with the amount of time/effort it took to make it.
Vanity_Blade ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:18:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher stubbed their toe on a desk while looking at the painting.
muffin5252 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite art prank (if you can call it that) is drawing three black dots on a white background.
When asked what it is "It's a Polar Bear in a snow storm!"
MisterWoodhouse ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 03:52:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Senior year, I took Advanced Chemistry because I had enjoyed Honors Chemistry during Sophomore Year and I liked the teacher.
The final exam had an absolutely brutal final question, but he phrased the request for an answer as "Can you tell me..." instead of "What is..."
I had no fucking clue how to even go about trying to solve for the answer, so I wrote "In all honesty, no, I cannot" and I underlined "Can you tell me" in the question.
The teacher gave me full credit for the answer, which gave me a final grade in that class that qualified me for the Cum Laude Society.
Under my answer, he wrote "They are going to love you in business school. Nice one, smart ass."
MKThomasen ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:00:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The Cum Loud Society?" Sounds nice
ludololl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:26:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second only to the Magnum Cum Loud Society.
aughtomaton ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 01:27:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Preschool teacher here. For Father's day we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was "what does dad like to do?". Most answer were average but one little girl told me her dad "loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day"
1LostInSpaceAgain ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:47:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son wrote "sleep" as my favorite activity for a giant poster he had to make about me. That poster spent several months on the wall in the kindergarten hallway.
SilveRX96 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:09:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember doing this back in the days. Said my mom loves to watch TV. She wasnt too amused
finnknit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:08:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In second grade, we had to write a similar journal about our families. For "What does your family like to do together?" I wrote "We like eating cheeseburgers and watching TV."
SirTrumpSupporter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:58:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said "water the grass".
TheGreyFencer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:20:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back win like middle school, my little sister put up one of the idiotic "tag the ______" onto her faceboook and tagged our mother as being the "most likely to know a guy". She had no idea what it meant (it was with a pot leaf, real hard to think something else). Coincidently, that person would be our father.
superwholock17 ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 00:43:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching a 4th grade lesson about different types of text structure. I asked students what in the text specifically told them it was a specific structure (I was hoping for them to pick out specific text evidence) . One student looked me dead in the eyes and said, "the words ." I mean it was a true answer just not what I was looking for.
kithien ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 02:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I overheard one student tutoring another (not for my class, for the religion class) "Mary Magdalene washing with feet was like swiping right on tinder back in the day."
d96083 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:07:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't correct though. It was a symbol of submission and servitude in that culture because exposing the bottom of your foot to someone was a sign of disrespect. That would imply that Jesus intended to commit sexual acts with his apostles because he washed their feet
oozinator1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/KCO-SBPTF5E
d96083 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That definitely adds context to the comment. It also makes me think r/thathappened. Just add a "he looked me dead in the eye" and voila
psycharious ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 02:25:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher yet, but there was one that stuck with me in a psych class I took. My psych professor had asked the class if they knew what the most used word in California is. One student answered: "hella?"
BearButtBomb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:34:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duuudde. Thats not ok.
yalldownvote ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Its just slang. Am I not getting something?
oozinator1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:32:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh.gif
AshleyScared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found my sister
marklein ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 03:54:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-student here. High school biology. We were talking about the generic trait of having six fingers per hand and how it is a dominant gene. The teacher asked "since it's dominant, why don't more people have six fingers?" Long pause. I'm thinking that the answer is obvious, but the pause goes on and on. I'm wondering if the teacher is just going to stand there until the end of time if nobody answers so I just spit out "cuz they don't get laid".
That was in the good old days when teachers could threaten you with physical violence.
Turtlebelt ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:31:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the actual answer because they were all killed off by Inigo Montoya?
anonymousraccoon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:57:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
y tho
Naxtea ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 05:14:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Note: Pre-Pre-K
Asking one of the children which one of the stickers as a reward for going potty, She wanted a strawberry sticker which we had just run out of.
"Sorry, but how does a Lemon Sticker sound?"
Another Child spoke up from the back looking terribly worried, "Mr.N I don't know the sound a lemon makes."
anonymousraccoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did he know what sound strawberries make?
seasonalcrazy ยท 625 points ยท Posted at 00:34:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subtraction problem in elementary school. The question asked, "what is the difference between these two numbers?" And then gave 2 5- digit numbers.
Student wrote, "they're different numbers. This three is different and that five."
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 02:07:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:38:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question is wrong. In terms of subtraction, I've always seen it phrased as "difference of". Like the sum of, product of, and quotient of.
seasonalcrazy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:09:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a short quiz after discussing math language. It was pretty funny to me. I mean, they weren't wrong.
andnowmyteaiscold ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:55:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a 7th grade math classroom and I can't tell you how many times a student has told me "that one is bigger" or "that one is negative" when I've asked what the difference was.
randarrow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One has a hyphen after it.
joker38 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the grammar is bad.
untranslatableness ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:30:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why maths teachers have to use all these stupid words... difference, sum, quotient, and, um, product? Why can't they just say what they mean? What's 4626 minus 3163? Is that so difficult?
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, it's not the teachers that decide which vocabulary you have to know...
maroonmallard ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 01:43:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing my student teaching, and there was a boy that got his recess taken away and I was the one supposed to be punishing him. His problem was that he talked and talked and talked. So I ask him "what could we do to help you focus better?" He thinks for a solid minute and replies "ice cream" couldn't help but laugh.
Midnight_Ice ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:38:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If his problem is too much talking, it seems taking away his recess would be anti-productive. It's the one place where he can talk freely and expel that energy.
maroonmallard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:35:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh absolutely! I do not believe in taking away recess, but the teacher I was working with did
Iunnrais ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a story I read in a handbook for teaching learning disabled children.
It talked about a child who was struggling with learning basic numbers. The teachers asked the child how the child thought he'd be able to actually learn this concept, and the child suggested using different flavored jelly beans, that he'd get to eat during the course of the lesson. The teachers said ok, assigned each flavor a number, let the kid eat 'em as they went over the lesson again, and apparently, this worked, as the different flavors allowed the kid to make the connections he needed.
Granted, that story was about "learning types" (which seems to be a theory recently losing credit from researchers?) and I'm loathe to come up with a plausible reason that delivering ice cream would actually enable a kid to shut up and listen, but sometimes asking a kid what it would take can actually help.
maroonmallard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. No this kid was just a complete chatter box (and apparent smart ass). We would switch his seat every 5 minutes, even put him independently, and some how he'd strike up a conversation. He was only in kindergarten at the time, so it's hard. It was just hilarious, because when he was thinking, he made it seem like he was coming up with something great.
Aarol ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:07:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for the kid, separating him from the rest of the class is only going to crush his creativity and make him have a dislike and distrust of school.
sealedinterface ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:37:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure school does this all on its own.
Source: Went to school
mazzamia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:01:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like mania.
HeyThereAdventurer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:41:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh no, it sounds like a healthy normal kid.
jepoy13 ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 02:05:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but in middle school our teacher asked us to name types of metals. One of the kids said adamantium and the teacher accepted it as a type of metal. This was before the X-men movies came out.
Edit: My friends and I still laugh about it.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:01:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend must have played D&D
CrispusAtaxia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/runexpected
gogolplexian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/jumpexpected
Dracomax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have been heavy and speed.
TankGirlwrx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was hoping for
empress_cthulu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heavy metal would have been my answer
ItZSAMIC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adamantium isnt originally from the movies, just so ya know lol
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They know, It's still a fictitious substance, that's why they thought it was funny when it fit accepted.
Martinwuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Def_Not_N_Alt was referring to the part where they seem to think it necessary to explain that this was before the movies came out.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Def_not_n_alt didn't post anything. And it looks more like itszamic was trying to tell them they didn't make it up.
BarryPooter652 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either he was an Xmen fan or it proves that teachers know fuck all
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been an Adam and the Ants joke.
SkeezySevens ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:31:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a made up a scavenger hunt for my jazz band, and one of the riddles was "What has legs, but cannot stand?". Well the answer was the football stands, that's where the next clue was.
This kid says "Mason!!" The kid in band who is in a wheelchair ..
kinwai ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely too dank for his age
CoyoteTango89 ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 03:36:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a pre k teacher, My son told a little boy in his kindergarten class that his bandaid was a bitch sticker. To this day I have no idea where or whom he heard that from but I laughed so hard I cried. To this day I carry around special sparkly cupcake Band-Aids for adults and call them bitch stickers.
Workingusrname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I pissed my dad off, but he was too impressed and found it too humorous to be that mad one day by, when he asked if I could grab him a band-aid for his bleeding head, "what, you need a bitch sticker?" Ahh, to be 13 again...
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 03:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "What do you think the biggest problem with the world is?
5th Grade Student: "Other people".
Speechless.
Jakanapes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that many 5th graders read Sartre, impressive.
Periculous22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to say, "well he's not wrong," but that was the thread question.
captyoyogirl ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:59:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably too late for this, but I was the dumb student.
Teacher: "Does anyone know why we used to do a blood test before a couple got married?"
Me: raises hand confidently "To make sure they aren't related."
I live in Mississippi.
The_Pure ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:35:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I....thought this was why.
captyoyogirl ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:37:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely thought so too. Turns out it was to test for syphilis.
The_Pure ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:43:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get a blood test when I got my marriage certificate. I got gay married--that reinforced my belief, cuz it's hard to create babies when you're gay married. Thanks for the intel!
captyoyogirl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They stopped blood testing in 2012 because it's not as common as it was to have syphilis anymore. Also, congrats to you and your spouse :)
highhouses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had never heard of blood tests before marriage at all.
captyoyogirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only heard of it being in Mississippi tbh.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:39:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a eugenicist project to make sure that people had appropriate blood to breed prefect babies. People who were diseased or disabled were ruled unfit to wed, as were close relatives. Syphilis was only one component. Dig into our eugenics history and it gets uncovered.
lookunder_thebed ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 01:58:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: How many people died during WW2? A: at least 7.
meneldal2 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A: Depends on who you ask, opinions differ. At least one million and less than one billion.
helasraizam ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:03:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least 40 is exactly correct!
ngc6205 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanted the floor of log10, that might be right.
Workingusrname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"At least 6 million" was the answer I gave in class once. Jewish classmate thought it was hilarious, teacher gave me a talk on racial sensitivity.
[deleted] ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 04:06:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kadasix ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is 10000 > 7?
Yes. So the casualties number at least 7.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:28:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the point they're making is that "at least 7" sets up a set in which 7 is a possible answer. Your argument would be correct if the story had said "more than seven," but it did not.
_Nathan_37 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:35:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God dammit you got it wrong, it's not correct but it is technically correct
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:40:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is the best kind of correct
9manacombo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically correct is the same as literally correct. Its either correct or it isn't.
What hes talking about is contextually correct and at least 7 is definitely not contextually correct.
throwawayaccount5944 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:13:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why you are getting downvoted. You are right.
Skylion007 ยท 389 points ยท Posted at 01:19:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I remember I had to take some kind of verbal test when I about five. The proctor asked what is the relationship between cats and dogs? Little science loving five year old me said, "they are part of the same food chain." I am pretty sure I got credit for that question.
Silverdragon701 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 02:53:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you have pets growing up?
Did they live long?
Storm137 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he meant by that - cats and dogs are both predators.
SuperVancouverBC ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact for kids; Dogs are omnivores and cats are obligate carnivores. However DO NOT PUT YOUR DOG OR CAT ON A VEGAN DIET
Edit: words
Storm137 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:08:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact for other redditors: This doesn't mean you can put your dog on a vegan diet.
SuperVancouverBC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:15:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. I forgot people do that. I just edited my comments. Thank you for pointing that out
Storm137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime. People will see one thing and think: "I can do x instead of y."
soccerfinisher1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:30:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2real2soon
Ozimandius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they are part of the food web but I think most cats and dogs are not part of the same food chain. Perhaps a few specific breeds like lions eat some dogs like hyenas, or vice versa, but in general I would say this is wrong.
Trishata96 ยท 671 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother was the student. When he had Mr Smith, one of the most friendly teachers I've ever known and whom you could mess about with, for Geography the first time in Secondary school. Mr Smith handed out the exercise books by throwing them to the students from the front of the classroom. (He was careful not to hit anyone) When my brother got thrown his, he promptly threw it back at the teacher.
"Trishata96's brother why did you throw this back at me?"
"You're not meant to throw books. Sir. You're meant to treat them with respect."
From then on whenever he had my brother, he'd have it passed down instead of thrown. When he had me for Geogrpahy 5 years later, he made a point to hand me my book instead of throwing it to me as I was at the back of the class, same as my bro was (our surnames mean we're pretty much at the bottom of every a-z list)
[deleted] ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 00:17:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that feeling, but also in reverse, my first name puts me at the top but my last one at the bottom, I've been always either the first or last person depending on the list.
Flipz100 ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 01:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Zywyx?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
-Don-Draper- ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:47:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's Polish. Neat.
CatpainTpyos ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really like how several different languages use the Latin alphabet, yet they all approach the consonant vowel divide in radically different ways. Like, you've got Bosnian and Polish on one extreme - "Lol, what's a vowel?" - and Hawaiian on the other extreme - "Lol, what's a consonant?" And then you've got Hebrew, which literally has no vowels, although they use their own alphabet so I'm not sure how much that counts for.
Dravarden ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it has vowels just no one writes them. Although the o and a is usually written
Troloscic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by Bosnian not having vowels? I'd say they're as common as they are in English.
BestFriendHasLeprosy ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:10:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Zztop?
perskes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:19:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had that name! My name starts with * so I'm never on any list. I can even register on facebook because this character is prohibited.
But my first name is patrick, which is nice.
IConsumePorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How??
perskes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:49:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nihow! But I really don't speak mandarin, sorry!
It's our culture.
Yours truely, Patrick *
IConsumePorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wo hen hao
perskes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:08 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ๆๆถ่่ฒๆ
IConsumePorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:24 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ๆไนๆฏ
perskes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ไปปไฝๆถ่
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:15:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaaa Zzzzz, is that you?
186282_4 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:21:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A-a-ron Zymurgy, it is nice to meet you.
zbbrox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:56:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Zuckerman, is that you?
Innerouterself ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should be a middle child of three instead! First to last. Youngest to oldest. Oldest to youngest. Doesn't matter, always second. I like second. You kind of hide a bit. You know you won't get the best piece of cake, but the second best is better than whatever the third kid is getting.
linxstinks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:37:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex Zander?
buttbutts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:02:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aasshole
brettf123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Zuckerberg?
fatheroceallaigh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gasp! Aaron Zibleich, is that you?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amanda Zimmerman.
thezerbler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah I am right there with you.
cynoclast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine's right in the middle. So I never got to go first!
spontaniousthingy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Whenever I can pick seats in classes I always go in the back, beacuse it's so rare I sit there.
jks61005 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you ain't first, you're last!
Chinateapott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always in the middle :(
floridog ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:19:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you Aaron Aaronowski????
yaosio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine him heaving hardback textbooks.
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of our old maths teachers could frisbee our books precisely to us.
randomtechguy142857 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a very eccentric History teacher I had. He had a saying whenever someone threw a book: "Ooh, no, we don't do that, boy/girl. A society that throws books eventually throws people. You must remember that."
It was years before we learnt about the rise of Hitler and what he was actually referencing.
skywalkergal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a teacher at my Secondary school that taught Geography, and he was also Mr. Smith. I wonder if it was the same one?!
Trishata96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually changed the teacher's name to Smith. So alas it isn't
kist_krayle_en_kote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:28 on March 25, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dads teacher used to throw his wood backed board rubber at sleeping students so a kid who was 1st team cricket pretended to be asleep, caught the rubber and threw it straight back at the teacher and hit him square between the eyes
BuffyandtheHellcats ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the weather like today, Easton?
"It's fuckin' cold, Miss!"
It was.
(He was in kindergarten)
pretty_pineapple ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 00:38:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 7th grade math. Our first unit is on integers. There is a question on the test that says the temperature on Monday was -3 degrees and on Tuesday it was 4 degrees. What is the difference in temperatures? Every year, at least a couple of kids answer that one is negative and the other is positive.
J1NxxY ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:08:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no offense but I don't remember 7th graders not knowing that the difference between 4 and -3 is 7
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:34:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you overestimate middle schoolers in large numbers. there's always at least ONE kid that'll answer that way, either to be facetious or because they don't understand entirely what the question is asking for
runed_golem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:06:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to high school with somebody who could not subtract negative numbers. That was during her senior year when she was in pre-cal and trig.
tutori ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When was the last time you were around 7th graders doing math? I have Algebra 2 students pull out their calculators for that. My Calculus students don't have problems with that, but they sure do with fractions.
RequiemFear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anecdotally, the calculator thing seems to be more about second guessing yourself, and making sure you're not making little mistakes here and there.
literallypoland ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:28:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could ask "How much did the temperature rise?".
teh_maxh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that is a more useful answer.
DraziuS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm waiting for the day someone will answer 4294967287.
fizzywhizzles ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 01:56:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In literature, what is a foil?"
I got a lot of student responses with the math definition of foil (first, outside, inside, last)...but then there was one kid who decided to write down aluminum. I lost it at that response.
Hates_escalators ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:05:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a type of sword!
_Nathan_37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will foil your nefarious plans to steal my aluminium foil by stabbing you with my foil.
super_aardvark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is why our parents always liked me better; I don't immediately resort to violence.
superboredteacher ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 02:11:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Students had a simple reading comprehension quiz. They had to read the legend of Narcissus (a god who died because he couldn't look away from his own beautiful reflection, hence the term narcissist). One of the questions was "how did Narcissus die?." Easy. The student wrote (paraphrased - this was 8 years ago) "Narcissus - who could not look away from his own reflection - died of his own closeted homosexuality since he fell in love with himself, and he was a man."
I also had a friend in a religious studies university course answer the question "Who was Veronica?" with "Archie's girlfriend, and Betty's rival." (the prof meant one of the bearers of the cross with Jesus). She got the point since he didn't specify which Veronica.
o11c ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:40:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where the fuck do all these nonoriginal details come from?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! I've never heard of this before. And my uncle is a pastor.
[deleted] ยท 3104 points ยท Posted at 00:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
theivoryflash ยท 1028 points ยท Posted at 01:19:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am still pissed I missed the "how to have safe sex" question on my 8th grade sex ed exam.
I said use a condom. The "correct" answer was abstinence.
marlan_ ยท 1481 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: how do you safely jump out of an inflight aircraft?
You: Parachute
I'm sorry, the answer was "don't jump out"
Abstinence is a retarded answer here. The question asks you how to do the activity safely which means you need to do it.
Oh well what I can I expect from a teacher who uses abstinence as an answer.
magico13 ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 02:29:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: How do you safely jump out of an inflight aircraft?
A: Abstinence.
Yep, a pretty retarded answer here ;)
PatrollinTheMojave ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:26:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The aircraft is your mom.
GloryMacca ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should see her landing strip, her tail, her flaps and her cock pit.
PatrollinTheMojave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already have.
IthacanPenny ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh. Abstinence is an answer. Abstinence should be covered and presented as a valid choice in every comprehensive sex ed class in middle/high school. The problem is when the curriculum only covers abstinence. We need to present kids with all the facts and options for preventing pregnancy and STIs. Abstinence is the most effective way not to get pregnant/infected, but there are also other ways that are almost as good. That's how it needs to be approached.
G_Morgan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really should not be taught this way. Abstinence is not an answer any more than not playing football is the right way to avoid injuries for somebody who's already playing football. The answer implies preconditions contrary to reality.
What should be taught is that they can say no and not do this. Once they've decided to do it abstinence is not an answer to shit though.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am fairly certain it's not the teachers' choice that this gets taught this way. Generally they have a mandated curriculum to teach and gave to stick to the accepted things. You can get in trouble in abstinence only states for teaching anything other than abstinence.
There is an episode of Parks and Rec that touches on the issue pretty nicely.
Chinch335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor analogy. Sex ed is taught to all kids, not just those already playing football.
IthacanPenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're talking about 11-, 12-, and 13-year-olds here! Unfortunately yes, some of them are sexually active. But the majority aren't. And we need to be encouraging them to wait! Wait until they are mature enough to deal with the potential consequences. All sex ed classes need to preach abstinence, but also go beyond that to discuss safer sex practices. It's called "comprehensive" because it needs to cover it all!
TehVulpez ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably mandated by whatever State Board of Education
Yuktobania ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:21:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is why states should not set their own standards of education
TehVulpez ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:24:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then there's also the problem of standardization - someone's school career could possibly be worthless upon transferring due to differences in curriculum. They could be way ahead of everybody else there or way behind. But I guess that's already sort of the idea of Common Core.
KingPellinore ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I learned from FaceBook that Common Core is just stupid ways of doing math!
Vitztlampaehecatl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:10:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the best way to avoid a broken leg while skiing?
Stay home.
Farmerman1379 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:18:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expect them to frighten you with STDs that you magically don't contract after you've been married.
Chinch335 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:57:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No magic. The idea is that if you and your partner abstained and stay faithful in your marriage, you won't have to worry about it.
IthacanPenny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Works for everything except HPV...
PickleDeer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair to the teacher, the sex education curriculum is usually handled at the state, community, or school level. The teacher doesn't really have control over what they're allowed to teach.
G_Morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is like teaching that the safest way to cross the road is not to cross the road. It is technically true.
A ship is safest in the harbour but that isn't what a ship is for.
marlan_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that wouldn't be crossing the road, so it's not true.
In order to "safely cross the road" one must cross the road otherwise the conditions have not been met.
G_Morgan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:54:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and to safely have sex you must have sex.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:54:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question wasn't about how to have safe sex, it was about how to prevent pregnancy. Abstinence is an effective way to prevent pregnancy.
raincatchfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt that the teacher decided on the method of teaching and test questions, but otherwise I agree.
krashlia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abstinence was a fine answer since the question was related to, but not specifically about, sex... and castration works fine too, but apparently that teacher lacked a sense of humor.
yours is specifically about jumping from a plane and the best method with which to do it.
mmotte89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Never get on a plane in the first place"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marlan_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your question is a bit closer to what the teacher asked.
Which is the problem. The question says you jump out. So you must jump out. You can't say not jumping out is an answer when the question says you jumped out.
Chinch335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. The latter is an invalid answer. It's not possible to "not jump out" while jumping out of an aircraft.
Bonsee ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you are against a term like abstinence, but throwing around "retarded" is cool.
tabascodinosaur ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:49:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't take this to mean that /u/marlan_ was against using the term abstinence on the merits of the term itself, merely that in this context, it was a poor answer because the concept that abstinence is the only way to have safe sex is a short-sighted way to educate kids about sex.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:59:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know what he meant don't be retarded.
butiamthechosenone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:42:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. OP please please don't use the word retarded when meaning dumb, stupid, fucked up, etc. Even when you don't mean it that way, the implication is that people with intellectual disabilities are dumb, stupid, etc. Which just isn't true. It's dehumanizing.
For the record, totally agree that abstinence is a dumb argument in this situation! Abstinence only sex ed is a terrible thing to teach teenagers.
anybodywantakiwi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People with intellectual disabilities are stupid though. That's kind of the effect of an intellectual disability.
jenniekitty942 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:58:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you can be smart and have a low intelligence more then one kind of smart retard
Critically_Pingas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
butiamthechosenone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I actually have a sister who has Down syndrome and when she hears the word retarded she gets really upset because she knows it is a mean word for someone like her. Many of her friends feel the same way. Just trying to protect her and others like her.
EXTSZombiemaster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:42:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's probably a virgin
krashlia ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:45:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I think its a bad argument and comparison. The original question didn't ask about the safest sex act, but the safest birth-control. You wanna know what really controls births, assuming we're looking at a situation in which consent and rights are respected? Castration.
Ok, actually a number of things, but abstinence is one of them.
fizikz3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... in the same sense suicide is also an answer...
krashlia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Go to the principals office.
jasdjensen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:25:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They say abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. Oh wait... Well I guess it's still true.
Kabufu ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:04:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stealing this argument for future use.
epicface3000 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 02:58:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh sorry, I didn't know we were doing trick questions. What's the safest way to go skiing?
DON'T SKI
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the best way to win the lotto?
Don't play. Save up all the money you would've spent and reward yourself when you retire. :)
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/dundermifflin is leaking again.
carpet111 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 02:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But abstinence isnt safe sex, you have to have sex to have safe sex.
ElsaWinchester ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:33:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But answering dont to a how question doesnt answer the question.....
Orange-V-Apple ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:30:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What state?
NotAConsoleGamer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:16:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Solid
theivoryflash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indiana
gunsof ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I see people talk about how people in Africa need better sex education to combat HIV, particularly about safe sex, but what chance do they have if the American education system with all its money and availability is just as ridiculous.
TehKarmah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually getting really mad at your teacher. I can't help but think if that happened to my son I'd accuse the teacher of having "safe sex" with their students because that's abstinence.
Mariske ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... That's not sex
throwaway08255 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find the YouTube clip, and I'm pretty sure this is from The Office:
Dwight: What's the safest form of contraception?
Daryl: Condoms
Dwight: False, abstinence
Daryl: Oh, I didn't know it was a trick question. What's the safest way to ski? Don't go skiing.
M3gaMudkipz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then it's not sex though.
-JustShy- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abstinence isn't safe sex, though.
wafflz1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question relates to having sex. Abstinence means not happening, so they're wrong too apparently.
Gre3nLeader ยท 1212 points ยท Posted at 00:46:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, sex ed in your country must have really sucked.
AdolescentCudi ยท 1121 points ยท Posted at 01:13:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to America
Petrel_ ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:13:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is such a shitty generalization. I went to a fucking Catholic middle school and they told us to use condoms in sex-ed classes.
theQman121 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Public school in the south here. Contraception was mentioned, but just to point out how ineffective it was.
Pokage ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the only thing I remember learning about contraception was their failure rates. They're just trying to scare us out of having sex ever
Willyjwade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had a teacher who followed that in a very /r/maliciouscompliance sort of way. She would tell about how they weren't always good against stds but then talk about the failures against pregnancy in real percentages like .09 percent of the time it doesn't work, I liked her.
130alexandert ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:35:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really that crazy, condoms have a pretty low actual success rate cause people can't use them right. (Low as in 95%)
Iron_Rogue ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:46:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like people don't know how to properly use condoms due to poor sex education.
130alexandert ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or because drunken horny teens are more interested in sex then condoms
thelukinat0r ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitely going to be less effective
130alexandert ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:32:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They both make sense this time actually Sex > condoms Or Fuck first, safety later
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:15 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to explain his joke.
130alexandert ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:00 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His joke criticized my grammar, which was actually acceptable
OKImHere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:49:33 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, "fuck first" is definitely going to be less effective.
jesonnier ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:57:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But they have something like a 99.1% success rate, when used properly. Maybe we should teach people how to use them, instead of using twisted statistics.
130alexandert ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The issue is horny teens are dumb and careless, and won't put them on right if no matter how well you show them
DearMrsLeading ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:49:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet my friends and I never had problems properly putting a condom on as teens. It's almost like they showed us how to do it. Wait...
130alexandert ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why it's 95%. Kids at my school still got pregnant, and we had sex Ed every other year
DearMrsLeading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't change the fact that teens aren't mindless horny sex drones. They deserve to be taught properly and given every resource available to adults when it come to safe sex.
130alexandert ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But saying condoms aren't always gonna work is still accurate! Which was my original point
DearMrsLeading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your original point was that teens are horny sex machines that cannot be educated.
AdolescentCudi ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to public school in South Carolina and they never informed us about contraception. Granted, we knew all about that, being 14 and 15 year olds, but it wasn't mentioned once in 5 years of sex ed
Mic_Check_One_Two ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:49:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I went to public school. They told us condoms don't prevent pregnancy, (because the sperm will just swim through the microscopic pores in the condom,) and increase STD transmission rates, (because it acts like a little greenhouse for bacteria and viruses to grow.)
The result is that everybody still had sex anyways, (because teenagers,) but didn't use condoms, (because bad sex ed class.) We had multiple girls get pregnant, starting all the way in freshman year, and had a few more start ballooning each year.
ILovePotALot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is really shitty. Specifically the part where only half the country requires sex ed at all and only 20 states require it to be medically, factually, or technically accurate.
runed_golem ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother went to a private school and someone they brought in for a sex ed class told the middle schoolers that they'd get pregnant by holding hands, hugging, or pretty much any physical contact.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a shitty generalization. I went to a private Catholic school in Louisiana and was never told about contraceptives.
Just because it doesn't match what you experienced doesn't mean it's a shitty generalization. It could mean that it's a generalization about a shitty situation.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:45:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mishamolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they show you blue waffles?
TheSugarplumpFairy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:27:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Public school in Missouri. We didn't have sex ed. At all. Nada. Nope.
20% of the girls in my class were pregnant or had at least one child at graduation.
ABEW19043 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:56:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to a Public high school in the Midwest. Learned a shit ton about STDs, but nothing about contraception. They really shoved that whole abstinence thing
TedTheViking ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:11:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"This generalization doesn't match my personal experience, so it must be wrong."
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:40 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is wrong. Factually, provably wrong.
TedTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:32 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm waiting.
Sillyboosters ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like welcome to one county in one state of a huge ass country. I grew up in the south and learned contraceptives. Our education system isn't national, why don't people get this?
Chinch335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because generalizations are easy.
Iamthedemoncat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Canada.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:25:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly hate when people say this like teaching abstinence in the US is a universally accepted fact... but it's bullshit.
I don't where/when you went to school but i went to middle school (07-09) in SC and we were taught about safe sex.
Please stop making it sound like abstinence is still a die-hard american dogma, it's not... people like you are only perpetuating the bad name that we're trying to get rid of.
AdolescentCudi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:28:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in middle school in SC(2011-2014) and I took the required sex ed in high school and we were not taught about safe sex
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where'd you go to... swansea?
AdolescentCudi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully not. Further upstate, for better or worse probably better since we're that much farther away from Columbia
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok ok rock hill
gynlimn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I graduated from HS in SC in 2004 from Florence, SC, and we learned about safe sex, how to balance a check book, and calories in vs calories out in one nine week class.
No wonder none of it stuck, but I was still taught it.
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Land of the fee, home of the slave.
RedLegionnaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was homeschooled, sex ed was comprehensive and informative.
copymackerel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:41:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something broken arms.
minimidimike ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 01:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment implies that we've improved at all
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:01:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school actually regressed. My class taught safe sex and taught us about stds and how to prevent them.
Four years later, my sibling's class taught abstinence.
Gre3nLeader ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:29:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My country has pretty good sex ed. At least in the later years of education where its still offered.
minimidimike ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:31:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm referring to the US, which both the original poster and I are from. Most other countries have it figured out, but the good old US still struggles with teaching procreation.
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously what the fuck is going on that they can't improve things? Is it because the government's acting like a teeter-totter with the "left wing/right wing" bullshit?
minimidimike ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:25:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Also, no one wants to be known as the guy who added sex to school...
Sideways_X ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's basically it. It's pretty much devolved into a political party tug of war. One side does something, majority flips, other side undoes it and does something else, majority flips, the first side undoes it... repeat for the foreseeable future.
This is at the federal level though. On the local level things are much more uniform but you have both sides at different places.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's bullshit.
I don't where/when you went to school but i went to middle school (07-09) in SC and we were taught about safe sex.
Please stop making it sound like abstinence is still a die-hard american dogma, it's not... people like you are only perpetuating the bad name that we're trying to get rid of.
minimidimike ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:30:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a professional in anything related to this field.
School districts are decided at local/state levels. I believe sex Ed is included in this. So of course it's not the entire United States, but most of the country is hard core Christian, which makes it hard to add proper sex ed.
On top of that, we seem to have a phobia of sex and nudity. Just look at our media rating laws compared to Europes. Adding a female nipple is way harsher for US games/movies/etc. than in, say, Germany.
Honestly, we deserve the shitty name until it's gone on a national level.
Jordaneer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, murder is perfectly fine in video games, but put in a nipple.
OH WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna disagree with you there, and i think that's a piss poor excuse.
I went to school in NC, SC, OK, and KS... all four of which are very christian and conservative states, and all four taught safe sex.
So we don't "deserve" a bad name when it's not due, especially since said bad band is based on a dogma that's more or less nonexistent in schools
Anon4comment ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:19:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe your parents had good jobs and lived in liberal enclaves of the largest cities.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in the most liberal part of NC and wasn't taught safe sex.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We didn't
Anon4comment ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well alright then. I still know the US does teach abstinence only sex education somewhere. I guess it isn't as widespread as thought.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it really isn't... this isn't the 1980's anymore and yet people still insist on perpetuating the idea that it is.
I've also noticed that based on the replies I've been getting, that for the most part, it's the liberal states that are still teaching abstinence only.
zane-c ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texas doesn't. I remember in 8th grade, not only did they barely cover condoms, when they did all they said that condoms were unreliable and would very often fail, before launching into another lecture about abstinence.
Another fun part was the subtle implication that if you're gay and you have sex, you're essentially guaranteed an STD.
Matsuno_Yuuka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that they covered condoms at all. The condoms are supposed to cover you, not the other way around.
Squid_In_Exile ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:01:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an impartial (i.e. non-US) observer...
Your education is not necessarily representative. Also, those of us outside the US are aware enough to assume that sex-ed in say... New York.. is less likely to be abstinence-focused than in.. I dunno. Alabama. Or South Carolina. Where it is more likely.
The fact is, what perpetuates the bad name as far as sex ed goes, is not just that you have a not-insignificant number of schools that teach abstinence-only 'sex-ed', but that schools are allowed to teach abstinence-only 'sex-ed'. It's like teaching creationism. We know it's not every school, but the 10% or what the fuck ever it is even being allowed to is what makes it a joke.
MrsTophatJones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because your town teaches it correctly doesn't mean the rest of your country does. I was in middle school in the early 2000's in New Hampshire and it was abstinence* focused. (Spoiler alert, we had like 15 teen pregnancies in my grade alone.) Clearly a big problem in most areas, so don't assume that your anecdotal evidence can speak to the rest of us.
Edit: a word. Public school education for ya.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:19:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school in NC, SC, OK, and KS... all four of which are very christian and conservative states, and all four taught safe sex.
...from the comments I've been getting, it's seems like the liberal states are the ones not teaching safe sex....
MrsTophatJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may not be wrong. Or maybe your parents picked a specific kind of town each time. It's odd that you would take sex ed 4 different times, though, so I doubt you know first hand about more than 1 or 2 of the 4.
_ShowMeYourKitties_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I moved middle schools 4 times and had to redo 7th grade (military family) so yeah, i took sex ed in four different states (6th grade, 7th x2, 8th) granted the topics varied (reproductive health, std, diseases, etc etc) but the fact remains sex ed was covered 4 times in 4 different states for me.
noreligionplease ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:38:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on what region of the country you live, the south and the flyover states are like this, but when I was in 5th grade (10-11 years old) in Oregon we started sex-ed and it was legit. By the time I hit middle school they were teaching all of us about condoms, where babies come from, and STDs, and the girls got to learn about the pill. When I moved to New Jersey during one quarter of the year our gym class was half gym days half sex-ed days with a test at the end, and that one went into what a zygote was, how to raise children, the cost of raising children, ect. And then when I moved to Florida for 4 months during the school year we went to an abstinence only class that pretty much was just lacking a class prayer at the beginning for how overtly religious it was, and there was a total of 4 classes during the year. Needless to say that the town had a high teen pregnancy rate and a lot of people were spreading STDs.
blay12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it really depends on where you are. I grew up in northern Virginia, and my (public school) sex ed was pretty comprehensive - by middle school we were covering reproductive systems, anatomy, and puberty induced changes involving them (which makes sense, considering you're going through those changes in middle school), birth control/safe sex, raising kids, financial planning for a family, etc. Abstinence was talked about as well, but it was included in the conversation about birth control and safe sex - we basically went through each of the major forms of birth control (pulling out, male/female condoms, the pill, IUDs, etc) and their respective efficacies with abstinence being the only one that was a true 0% chance, but that was with the caveat that it is still possible for a girl to get pregnant if sperm gets near her reproductive organs, so you still have to be careful with that sort of thing even if you're not having sex.
It was surprising to talk to people when I got to college that were taken through "abstinence only" programs and were pretty much clueless when it came to birth control or anything else.
CleverReferences ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:38:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. My high school sex ed was basically "If you have sex before you're married, you'll get AIDS."
gothicmothra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:12:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school was like this, with the added implication that the reason for this is because when you have sex with someone, you're also having sex with all their previous partners by proxy.
theheartsanddaggers ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:29:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It really, really does.
I, personally, don't remember any sex ed in high school. And since I went to a Catholic middle school, the best I ever really got was a three day long, all day class where they taught us how to raise children and that masturbation is a sin.
Thank God for good parenting.
NoNeedForAName ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:36:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sex ed in some parts of the US sucks. People like to assume that the US is homogeneous like that.
I actually grew up in the Bible Belt (which is known for being crazy religious and crazy conservative) and I had relatively normal sex ed classes.
Raibean ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still sucks
DanielXD4444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah i see what you did there
terraphantm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:55:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were taught all the usual options, but they did make sure to point out that every form of birth control has a measurable failure rate (which IMO is something people should be told in sex ed, just so they know the possibility is always there even if they do everything correctly).
lemonsnowman1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:22:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea they don't teach kids that sex can be a wonderful thing if both parties give consent and like eachother, it is very criminalized.
empirebuilder1 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U.S Sex Ed is still in the realm of "It's spooky bad juju, never do it EVER or you'll get disease X, Y, Z, A113, and your life will BE RUINED PERMENANTLY!!!!!!!11111"
Because apparently telling hormone-driven teenagers to not do the one thing their bodies are going crazy for will work wonders!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sucks*
fight_me_for_it ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only in recent years. Abstinence sex ed wasn't always a thing taught. Sex ed in my time was, use a condom, stds and you will die from aids. Scare tactics.
The 70s probably taught use safe sex as well because syphilis.
Tea-Money ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or in this case........didn't suck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a thing from the 90's that never went away. It's really shitty
sericatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What country are you from?
Gre3nLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada. I'm not sure if the curriculum here is really a huge step up, but in my experience the teachers have done their nest to modify it so its a little more modern.
TedW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People often make it seem worse than it actually is. Or maybe my part of the country is less fucked than other parts.
PM_ME_UR_STEAM_CASH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was told we shouldn't have sex before marriage because studies suggest that it feels better to have sex during marriage than it does to have sex while dating.
SHEDINJA_IS_AWESOME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhmm, why not have both lmao
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean must have? It's still like this in a lot of places in the usa. It doesn't matter how many studies or statistics you show proving that students who hear abstinence-only have a higher rate for STDs and teen pregnancy Bible Belt people still refuse to believe it because Jesus.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 01:32:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's ok. Women have a way of blocking things when raped to prevent pregnancy.
Source: was actually told this by a teacher when I was in middle school.
Dante2006 ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 02:36:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were taught middle school sex ed by Todd Atkins?
DanielXD4444 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have got to be kidding me! Are you serius?
EricKei ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:19:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse than that. A US politician (Todd Akin) believes this, too, and has said so publicly. In what I'm sure is an unrelated matter, he lost his bid for re-election not long after that.
why_am-ihere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was about to win by a landslide before he said that too.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:08:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I was. For context: I was raised in a very religious and conservative environment.
I'm still religious/spiritual but in a much more realistic and liberal way. Also, one of my friends from high school was a result of a rape so...
epicender584 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently going through that transition right now. Any tips lol?
UnhackableWaffle ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:07:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the person the commented to but just remember that the people who taught you aren't synonymous with whatever religion you were brought up with. Whether that means you leave or stay just don't let those few people ruin your view of the whole group
trapdoorogre ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:28:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the metaphor with the moldy bread. If you happen to eat a piece of moldy bread, you probably won't stop eating bread for the rest of your life. (But you will probably learn to check for mold.)
The same way, if someone treats you badly, don't assume that everything they believe in are as bad as they are. Think "he's moldy", not "he's bread and all bread is moldy".
This can be applied to so much more than religion.
o11c ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:13:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of religious people are not assholes. It is worth familiarizing yourself with them, even if you don't see yourself joining any religion again.
epicender584 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
Mic_Check_One_Two ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well maybe if your friend's mom wasn't such a slut...
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:38:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, she was asking for it with that skirt.
TwilightVulpine ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:55:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are not being funny.
closetbox ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:55:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true, it's called abortion.
Esb5415 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in 2012 my state had someone running for US Senate who truly believed that
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, when Todd Atkins came out and said that I wasn't shocked because I'd heard it before. It just made me really really sad.
ANGLVD3TH ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's not 100% wrong, per se. There are two ways to look at it, both horribly flawed, I'm not defending these thought processes, that could honestly lead a person to believe this.
The first is wrongly assuming a rape victim won't become aroused unless they really want it, and also assuming sex can't happen if they aren't aroused to lube things up. The second is stress can and does lead to early miscarriages, rape victims have a higher chance to fail to conceive or lose the baby early because of this.
If you only partially understand how these things work, or are told by someone else who doesn't, it isn't a stretch to see how people could believe it.
o11c ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the even darker side of that is: because so much of early human reproduction was done via rape, genes that allow a child to be born anyway in those circumstance were positively-selected.
redbananass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to politely hassle that teacher for scientific evidence of that, just to see them through out bullshit proof.
SuurAlaOrolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not your congressman?
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.
TheFckingMellowMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this was also said by a US senator or congressman...
o0Rh0mbus0o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
male or female? I bloody hope it's a male.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a male.
HubbaMaBubba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure you're mixing up memories, no way two people actually believe this.
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Definitely not mixing up memories. It was in the late 90's in science class in a very conservative, religious school.
ConserveGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was his name Todd Aiken, who later became a republican congressman?
OnionsMadeMeDoIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. It was a teacher.
bukkakesasuke ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 01:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I said "gay sex" once in Kansas and got kicked out.
FoolishChemist ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:08:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the plus side, you don't have to live in Kansas anymore.
coinaday ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:29:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat similar: on one of the slides they said that 75% of HIV infections were a result of sex. So, being a smartass, I of course asked rhetorically whether this meant that abstinence was only 75% effective. The teacher was not happy.
sinequod ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a heathen Canadian liberal we had that exact line in our health-class just before the condoms were handed out because it's true: even if you take all precautions it's not 100% safe to have sex, and telling kids they should get tested and shit because of it is a good idea.
Abstinence is safest, but since you're going to fuck here's some condoms and info on how to get your bits checked out by a doctor.
AP246 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's a stupid answer with a clear agenda.
What's the best way to minimise risk of driving accidents? Staying on the speed limit? Indicating clearly? Nope, never driving.
See, the question itself is flawed and gives no useful information.
RaggySparra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:36 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good analogy in a way - because even if you never drive a car, you could be in an accident as a passenger. If you never get in a car, you could still be run over while crossing the road, hit by a car that mounted the pavement, etc.
So even if you completely opt out of cars/sex, there's still a risk of "consequences" (accident or pregnancy) through someone else's actions.
sinequod ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We also instruct drivers on how to mitigate the risks in driving and some programs even do first aid or other damage control instruction so that drivers can be ready if any of the danger presents itself.
It also doesn't hurt that the fact is serious car accidents are less common than STIs and other sexual health issues, and therefore it's worth spending even more time overall on the risks and handling them responsibly.
And of course: not having sex is an option for basically everybody. Not driving? Less so. Many people live in areas where not driving is impractical, and the way to get into a driverless lifestyle involves moving somewhere else.
Not having sex entails just not having sex. It's far more of an option than is not driving.
SoldierHawk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:57:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. That really IS the only 100% FOOLPROOF method, and I think it's okay to say that. While teaching everything else about safe sex.
ysizzle ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, I feel like the OP made a pretty compelling case that abstinence isn't foolproof, castration is.
SoldierHawk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Right, but I wasn't responding to OP, I was responding to, well, the comment I responded to.
Bahamute ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:24:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you just ignored OP's point?
totallypandacoffee ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:29:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman year health teacher made this point. Except, since I'm in America, it sounded like
"I am required to teach you that the only form of safe sex is to not have sex. Which means I am not allowed to tell you that if you were to have sex...." and then gave us an ACTUAL sex Ed lesson. All while saying "They say I am not allowed to tell you that -"
Flying__Penguin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to help you, but I can't
Leohond15 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 01:27:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you get sent to the principal for bringing up the fact rape is a problem? Nice.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:33:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Leohond15 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:07:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I went to a public school too but we got good sex ed. It depends on what state you live in really.
SheeEttin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plausible deniability.
UncleGeorge ยท -37 points ยท Posted at 02:24:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 out of 10 isn't a fact, it's a fiction
Leohond15 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:36:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to get into another argument this week about the prevalence of rape. But uh, a lot of people get raped and sexually abused. Any stats on it are without a doubt lower than they are because people don't report it. So just fuck off.
RequiemFear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:19:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most accurate study done by the DOJ says that it's around 1/40. That's still too high, and is something we can work towards further reducing, but lying about the stats isn't going to help.
HubbaMaBubba ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's probably 11/10 once you factor in people who get assaulted twice.
G_Morgan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 in 100000000 would still make it a non-guaranteed solution to anything.
n122333 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school was taught abstinence only, and the (out spokenly Baptist - her husband was a preacher who came in and gave every student a bible) teacher did the whole "only 100% effective birth control" speech, and the stoner kid in the back of the room said
"I mean, it's close but I think you rounded. Other wise that book you gave us lied."
michaelrulaz ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:35:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've already decided I'm going to be that parent. While I don't think I'd want my kids having sex under like 16 I'm not going to push this stupid abstinence idea on them. But I've decided when this religious shit comes up in school I am going to be that terrible parent that raises so much hell. I figure if I keep my kids in public school I'll easily be able to fund a shit ton of lawsuits against the county over dumb shit like this. Because I don't want my kids to be losers I'll also constantly throw extravagant parties and fund tons of local activists so all the other kids love my kids.
If there is one thing I plan to bring with me into parenthood it's my petty vindictive inner 14 year old. I've been holding on for 11 years so hopefully I can last until I have kids lol.
TheReelDealMC ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:10:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher asked the same thing. After he said the answer, I said, "What about Mary and Joseph though?"
Sean081799 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And how did he reply?
TheReelDealMC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He laughed along with everyone else.
aetherlillie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of how in sex-ed in middle school, I thought I was being a cheeky smartass by saying that the safest sex was just not having any.
I was surprised when it was the answer the "teacher" was looking for, because I didn't realize abstinence only education was a thing back then.
DipDoodle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I got sent in the hall after playing a game about what kind of sex is totally safe, one of the answers was "having sex with a condom", which obviously they want to portray as not 100% safe, but I said well I mean if you're just having sex with a condom, nobody else, you're totally in the clear! It's just sterile latex!
IzarkKiaTarj ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really, the kind of schools that teach abstinence seem like the kind of schools that also believe in that one time it didn't work.
csl512 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:10:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like principle could almost apply here instead of principal.
AndyRedditor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:22:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just today, we were staring this unit, and one of my gym teachers said that exact phrase. I said, "What about in vitro fertilisation?" I mean, it's not sex, so... not having sex isn't 100% foolproof.
classypterodactyl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's terrible.
When we were taught sex Ed, even though we were a Catholic school, it went a bit like this:
Teacher: Alright ladies, today we'll be covering methods to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The church wants me to tell you that abstinence is the only way. The school board, however, disagrees, so we'll be talking about how to properly apply a condom and your options when is comes to birth control.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:28:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher ask our class the same question.. age 16 or so. I put my hand up and said "abstinence". He raised an eyebrow and laughed sarcastically. "No, serious answers only please." His answer was "Trick question, there are no foolproof methods of contraception."
Also one of the kids in my class then asked "what does abstinence mean?"
_Eerie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:38:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay sex
Anal sex
Oral sex
Hand job
Foot job
Masturbation
notmariethehawc ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:30:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that was a rather unfortunate response by the teacher for what otherwise could have been a good teachable moment :/
paigenotcasey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You were absolutely correct, good job dude! Did you get in trouble?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*1 in 4. According to posters they had at my university during a campaign to raise awareness for sexual assault. You had the right idea with that answer though
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought sexual assault =! rape. So you can be sexually assaulted with a 0% chance of pregnancy.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before they said 1/5 and it was a lie, with extremely flawed method including all drunk sex being classified as rape, regardless of if the offender was drunk. In fact it accounted for over half, of the reported sexual assualts in the survey.
I don't think rape sexual assault rates have risen. The 1/4 is nonsense as 1/5.
Even his 1/10 which is more accurate is too high.
These people do surveys which are unreliable, and phrase questions in a way as to get the highest possible number. The stats are more about getting higher numbers then accurate results.
I would say you, these surveys are more useful to learn about how to make propagandic surveys, then their actual results.
Hedgehog65 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a bit impertinent, aren't you? I like that.
kalanoa1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really happy to hear that you stuck it to that backwards and ineffective teaching form.
Storm137 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Point for homeschooling right here.
My friend was taught abstinence. My friend called bullshit.
My friend got sent to detention.
PhoenixAgent003 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was 1 in 5.
FreizaTheXenocide ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:15:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That statistic is how many women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, which includes rape, but also includes stuff like unwanted groping and rubbing and whatnot.
PhoenixAgent003 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the statistic for that category was 1 in 3.
I saw a poster once that just said "1 in 3 women: your sister, your partner, your daughter"
dfbdfbsdfbsd ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:40:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what is known as a "falsehood".
FreizaTheXenocide ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:40:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends a lot on what survey you're looking at. For example, according to RAINN, it's 1 in 6, and it's a little higher according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
Such studies are controversial obviously, and there are some who dispute the statistics, including two of the researchers responsible for one of the better known studies into it.
HubbaMaBubba ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:28:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure they just pick random numbers that sound bad.
PhoenixAgent003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense.
themaster1006 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sheeeeiiiit, I don't want to diminish anybody's negative experiences but I'm a average looking overweight man and even I've been unwantedly groped several times. It's just something that happens with drunk women. I imagine it's scarier when it's a man who can overpower you but I also think it's probably not traumatizing most of the time like rape is.
polite-1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:37:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. 1 in 5 is the statistic for rape, not sexual assault, over lifetime.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It even included unwanted advances, it was so useless a survey that it gives nothing of note.
polite-1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100% wrong. Look at the NISVS
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:22:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't true, there were so many problems with the study that found this number it is completely inaccurate. It is best to go by crime stats and if you want extropolate given what percent report said crimes (which by definition is really hard to find). That number is so low though it doesn't sound as bad.
Actually over half of the reported assualts in said survey included being drunk as the reason. Let's be clear I don't mean black out drunk, I mean drunk period. This right away halfs the stat. So 1/10 would be more accurate, but still too high.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I applaud you.
RedHeadedBug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get a high five! Internet high five!
SmartAlec105 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 19 but I really want to teach this response to my future potential children.
cemeterykitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful. BRAVO.
holey_moley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Principal, not principle, because the princiPAL is your PAL (taught to me by my grade 8 princiPAL).
dfn85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Principles office, to get principles? It's principal.
motsanciens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get your principles in order. The office of principles will advise you. We expect a full report.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PrinciPAL because he's your pal.
Harrisonw1998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The princiPAL is your PAL is how I've tried to avoid mixing up the spelling.
King-Days ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catholic skool= take a condom
heyyoukid415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name really Coronis?
MADDOGCA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remembered getting a referral because the health ed teacher told the class that the best way to prevent STD's is to not have sex. As loud as I could, I shouted, "WHAT!? NO SEX!?" Immediate trip to the principle's office.
thesweats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The teacher probably didn't know the answer and thought the principal would.
reddhead4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think my answer was dying
xterraguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The principal is your pal.
imrepairmanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the type of castration, sometimes vasectomies don't take.
Jacob_Nuly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One in 4 girls are raped, actually. 1 in 20 guys, as well.
-Hirilorn- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should have gotten two As for that one
wolf_rover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best bit is that this is exactly the type of thing that would be taught to you by someone who would also say "Jesus was born to the VIRGIN Mary".
refinnej86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same question was asked to my grade 8 students by the sex-ed facilitator, except they put the letter 'a' to help... boy with autism raises his hand and yells out "ANAL". Omg. Almost died laughing and had to really hold it together. Nope, kid. We were looking for a different 'a' word ๐!
mowbuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure its like 1 in 3 girls are raped in their lifetime.
Edit.
So i read some website just before that claims 1 in 6 girls have been victim of attempted and or succesful rape.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At this point they are just making up numbers that sound bad. You can't trust these figures.
It is more accurate to go with crime stats and expolate from there.
wjt0415 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all heroes wear capes
MrGlantz ยท 314 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My answer can really only be adequately shown with a picture. http://imgur.com/UVfBo5c
RedditSkippy ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 02:40:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that's a confusing format. Why is the problem set up twice?
STEIN325 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:02:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To show work. With more than one digit numbers it's usually easier written the second way
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:02:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
amosnoyun ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:17:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A quick point out: 39-14 is 25.
70astralaxe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:44:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/theydidthemath
rosettalincoln ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:10:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/theydidthemonstermath
MrGlantz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer to subtraction problems is called the difference. The answer to addition problems is called the sum.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:33 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
username_lookup_fail ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:03:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What work could you possibly show with this question?
AP246 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You subtract the units first, then move the 10s to the next column to the left.
Granted it's a little reduntant here but it's useful for much larger numbers.
MrGlantz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Short answer: the state tests are written that way. So we do problems like that to get them used to it.
RedditSkippy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fair.
EDIT: I just realized that I'm all about the "fair" in these comments.
echowoodsong ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:16:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awww that made me smile.
TGriff97 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:38:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
checks the math on the bottom question to make sure that it isn't a part of the joke before reacting
"Ha, that's fun."
o11c ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:59:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No picture needed:
One is wrote horrazantal
on is writen vertical
dsiOneBAN2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*
wverticalMagnumOpusModus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's adorable.
jeppev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:18:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a really big problem in math. An overwhelmingly large portion of the problems the students have to do, is very heavily textbased. So you both have to be able to read and analyse what the question really is, before you can even start on the math-portion.
MrGlantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes this is the biggest problem with math now because the tests are written this way and there's a lot more going on than just doing simple math.
PisEqualToNP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a theoretician, I would answer exactly the same.
super_aardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fascinated by the grammar. Maybe wasn't sure which form of "write" was correct, so decided to cover both bases?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:00:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically it was "difference of" not "difference between" or "The difference"
So I don't think it works here.
BearFluffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gramatically, in question 14, if there were 32 sold wouldn't that be irrelevant? They already had been sold...
joker38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
อแอย ย ย เฒฅ โก เฒฅ
semi-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you need to spend more time on spelling and grammar with your class.
MrGlantz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's second grade, he's 8 years old. It's ok to make mistakes sometimes on grammar
Vistas_ ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 01:53:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name the primary cause of the ending of the Cold War" "Rocky four"
randarrow ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:32:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Ralphs grocery store outside of Houston.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:34:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were you looking for glasnost?
SilveRX96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:05:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, Star Wars!
arrowkid2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it never ended, question is invalid
Bluestreaking ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 02:22:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get those a lot since I teach a glorified current events class and I wish I could remember them but today I got an answer that cause me to laugh so hard I honestly fell over so I'll share that one.
They were doing a lesson involving figuring out cost of living where we live for a unit on Poverty. They were figuring out groceries and the smart kid of the group calculates how much it costs for a year's supply of oranges since they need to "vary their ramen based diet." Anyway the number is lost in translation and his somewhat ditzy partner puts down that their group would spend $53 a month on oranges (vs $53 a year). I come by to check how there doing and saw how much they were spending on oranges. I just pictured them sitting in a tiny studio apartment surrounded by piles of oranges and nothing else and I just lose it.
Technically they get full credit since they just had to figure out a cost of living, not the best or most accurate cost of living
TheGreyFencer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:26:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, $53 dollars of oranges, is almost a months supply of two people eating an orange a day.
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
those are some expensive ass shit oranges.
TheGreyFencer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like 80-90 cents
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
those are some expensive ass shit oranges.
TheGreyFencer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.meijer.com/product/grocery/produce/fruit/oranges/navel-oranges-each-40-to-56-ct/t1/t1-865/t2/t2-9971/t3/t3-175/t4/t4-1780/4012.uts
I'm in the Midwestern US. a bit less than a dollar is what I'd expect to pay for an orange from the grocery.
Now I want oranges....
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my other comment got all fucked up.
what i said is that where i live, you can get a kg of oranges for a dollar. that would be like 4 or 5 big oranges, maybe a lil too big to eat by yourself, so you'd share one between 2 ppl
once again, yours are some expensive ass shit oranges.
TheGreyFencer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? Because that probably would explain it.
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might :p
South America
TheGreyFencer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:20 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo.
Which currency and what's minimum wage?
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our $1 equals aprox $16 US dollars. Minimum wage is around $500USdlrs
TheGreyFencer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:59 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't find any with that exchange rate, but Argentine Peso are valued at 15.55 ARS to 1 USD.
Our minimum wage is 7.50+ /hour. full time monthly would be about $1300 USD for about 173 hours of work assuming 40 hr/week.
If I've got the currency right, both wages and prices are MUCH higher here than there, hence the higher price.
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:22 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you got that rite matey
i fucked that up big time tho, it was the other way around (as you said) $1US dollars to (aprox) $16 of ours
TheGreyFencer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:59 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It also doesn't help that I live probably 1000-2000 miles, if not more, from where oranges would be grown right now.
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:02:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a summer camp, went up to a kid and said "Nice kicks!". He then said to me
"They're not kicks, they're Reeboks"
rowmaehn ยท 1418 points ยท Posted at 22:33:26 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one of my classmates, let's call him Student3, had the funniest and most cheeky answer ever: It was in 2003. Student3 had mucoviscidosis and was a very shy and silent but polite and liked guy.
We were discussing filming techniques in English class and the teacher asked which camera shots we learned last week. Student1: birds-eye-shot Student2: over-the-shoulder-shot Student3: cumshot
I could still loose my shit about that.
tenukkiut ยท 334 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why was the mucoviscidosis relevant?
ennsy ยท 425 points ยท Posted at 00:27:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's provocative.
rhysmcevoy ยท 344 points ยท Posted at 01:11:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gets the people going
[deleted] ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fiiiine me
Send_kitten_pics ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dat shit cray
cannot_be_arsed ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ball so hard motherfuckers wanna fine me But first they gotta find me
Ijustdontgiveaduck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it doesn't!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:21:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BALL SO HARD
wjt0415 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turns me on
sojoe17 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's not, it's gross
ennsy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:58:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're supposed to say "it gets the people going"
sojoe17 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:03:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I'm not, that's what you're supposed to say
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:27:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go rewatch the movie
FatTyrtaeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't even aware it was from a movie, just that Kanye song. What's the movie?
Terror_of_Texas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:36:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're serious the movie is Blades of Glory.
FatTyrtaeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, still not seen it!
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blades of Glory
One of my favorite trivia questions is what song they're actually referring to. Now you know.
LegendOfPublo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gets the people goin'
theboondocksaint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets the people goin
damionlai97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It gets the people going
CamperCombo ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:37:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvotes
Dragonsblood_Venus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:55:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing really revs up the crowd like cystic fibrosis.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:23:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual answer - mucoviscidosis, or cystic fibrosis, is destructive to the lungs. Many sufferers are quiet and physically inactive when able for fear of putting their lungs out of wack. It's important to the story because it explains why he's quiet, and better shows why his response was even more funny than normal, as it came from a quiet kid.
Source best friends with a guy who's little sister has cystic fibrosis
Meefius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:51:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My SO has CF. He's the loudest most crude person I know. He would probably shout "cumshot" in public just to get a reaction because he would find it hilarious. (CF doesn't make people quiet)
Flipz100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fella was uber shy. Gave the cumshot answer.
d96083 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was the only way to guarantee someone would at least leave a comment
buttaholic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is that even? Does it mean he suffers from being a chronic pervert??
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:28:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cause cum is mucusey?
wjt0415 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It turns me on
theconfuserx2 ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 23:34:13 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could also lose an eye
gunsmith123 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:27:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What??!
Are you taking some awesome type of vitamin I don't know about or something?
How do you do this? Asking for a friend
jaudi813 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, my friend, seek the holy grail.
Meefius ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:33:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard of Cystic Fibrosis being referred to as Mucoviscidosis. TIL that CF has another name!
MuffinsWithFrosting ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:14:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What dis?
Yuenlingdingdong ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:35:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cystic fibrosis
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:37:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man...I thought you misspelled mischievous really badly like 5 times before I actually read the word.
theinsanepotato ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of hope that student3's answer WAS technically wrong. Id be rather concerned if your teacher was teaching your class about cumshots in English class.
wofo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't wanna loose your shit when you laugh you should eat more fiber or do kegels, or both.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:25:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wut
anybodywantakiwi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of English class discusses film techniques?
rowmaehn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Germany and we were teached about filming techniques in English class in 11th or 12th grade. I think that was ordinary stuff in Germany because we were taught the same in German about one year earlier.
nathreed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...and this was a correct answer? Must be an interesting English class.
thewookie34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually called the Money Shot.
bitcleargas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student3, the real-time deconstruction of: Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom was last week. Do try to keep up.
Guardian-0 ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 01:29:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my student to spell SPACIOUS...he said S-P-A-C-E-S-H-O-E-S
jaybill ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't trust these spaces hoes.
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:30:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space shoes?
Vanity_Blade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the rare triple post
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space shoes?
WhatTheFoxtrout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space shoes?
Smgth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been browsing craigslist looking for a new place to live. Apparently the new big thing is "specious" rooms. There's just something I don't trust about them somehow....
mlkelty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:31:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Help me Dr. Spaceman!
[deleted] ยท 1504 points ยท Posted at 22:02:20 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: what ended in 1856?
Answer: 1855.
SensibleMadness ยท 619 points ยท Posted at 22:07:12 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this is how we learn the importance of asking precise unambiguous questions.
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 22:08:32 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I mean he wasn't wrong...
traffick ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:15:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You two smart guys can go ahead and right your names on the board.
MachoManShark ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:20:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right their names? I hope they aren't left handed.
traffick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have used 'rite', a little less subtle.
Ralmaelvonkzar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the name thing a rite of passage or something?
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why, did someone write them wrong?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
peeja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:55:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, if I remember my high school history correctly, 1855 ran a little long.
Fearlessjay ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:03:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it though? 1855 didn't end in 1856, it ended an instant before it.
idrinkirnbru ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:07:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he is wrong, 1855 did not end during 1856, it preceded it.
projectisaac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:21:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes he was. 1855 ended right before 1856 began. Not during.
AbsentGlare ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 22:59:56 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't 1855 end at, you know, the end of 1855?
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 23:19:49 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It ended with the first second of 1856.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 23:33:37 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GhostoftheMojave ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:50:02 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every beginning is another beginnings end.
emu_warlord ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 00:24:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
Nickppapagiorgio ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:13:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW WHO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOME
newk8600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's weird that song is about a pregnancy. I only recently found this out.
GoldenWizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sang this in my head in Stanley's voice
commonabond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Semisonic
GhostoftheMojave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Closing time
AbsentGlare ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:38:24 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once it's 1856, 1855 is already over.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:59:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AbsentGlare ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:50:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true that, at the end of 1855, it is going to be 1856. That doesn't mean that the end of 1855 is actually inside 1856.
phx-au ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The start of April is April 1st, not the 31st of June.
2059FF ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except in 1855, coincidentally, when they had an April 0th after June 31st (except in Orthodox countries still on the Julian Calendar) to compensate for the slowing of the Earth's rotation, since technology had advanced to a point where the increase of the length of the day was starting to be noticeable with scientific instruments. This is why Foucault had to periodically attend to his famous pendulum and give it a boost (or, as he said it in French, "vazylรฉon mets toute la gomme").
Fortunately, today we have agencies such as the International Earth Rotation service to make sure the length of days doesn't vary too much from 24h.
phx-au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit reddit :P
SinkTube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but the 31st of june IS the end of june. june doesnt end on april 1st
c3534l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would imply that 1855 overlaps with 1856 by exactly one second. Years do not overlap. One year cannot be "in" another year.
iwouldrun500miles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False, it ended with the last second of 1855...?
NoNeedForAName ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:20:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm with you on this one. There's a clear distinction. 1855 didn't end in 1856.
Ryuuzoji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup? But you know what did end in 1855? 365 days
Eucrates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The language is still imprecise. Ending "in" can also mean ending "with [the start of]."
Pallis1939 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xeno's paradox, now for middle schoolers!
Nerdican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The supremum of all time in 1855 is the infimum of all time in 1856. So, the end of 1855 is the beginning of 1856. The remaining question, then, is whether that exact moment in time belongs to 1856 or not.
MeritimeCannibalism ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:01 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AKA the beginning of 1856.
infinitim ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 22:48:24 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you copied this from that old meme without even changing the dates.
GrandDukeOfNowhere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:27:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm pretty sure that joke predates memes; it belongs in old joke books with "where does Napoleon keep his armies: up his sleevies" and "where was hadrien's wall: at the bottom of hadrien's garden"
Innerouterself ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go outside! The lights better and you get vitamin D while obsessing over old memes
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 01:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still counts though
totallypandacoffee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but that reminds me of a time at work. I was making a lunch reservation and said we had an availability at 11:30
Lady: That's a little early. What comes after 11:30. Me: Typically 11:31.
She did not find me funny.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd Fi d you funny.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:09:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did end in 1856? I'm forgetting which important historical event occurred and which I'll surely be kicking myself for.
GreenFriday ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crimean War I think.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! And, yes, I'm kicking myself for not getting this.
JesusIsMyZoloft ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also these people
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be surprised if the kid wrote that. Surprised and horrified.
Yamese ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that's not true. 1856 ended in 1856; 1855 ended in 1855
throwawayaccount5944 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If 1855 ended in 1855, 1855 had to still be going on in order for 1855 to end in it, meaning 1855 hadn't ended. 1855 ended with the start of 1856.
fluxusflow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
pjabrony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:42:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the right answer? I thought it was the Missouri Compromise, but that was earlier. Some European war?
GreenFriday ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:31:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crimean war I think.
PLUTO_PLANETA_EST ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crimean War.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna need proof of that
HobKing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, no, 1855 didn't end in the year 1856. It was never 1855 in 1856.
Sir_Toadington ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:40:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even technically correct. If the question was what ended at the beginning of 1856 sure but 1855 can't end during 1856
throw6539 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:37:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, in 7th grade:
Teacher: "What did President Clinton do the night of [some important date]?"
Me, whispered to bully/"cool guy": "Masturbated."
1) I was loud when the whole class was quiet, so the teacher overheard me.
2) The "bully/cool kid" that I was trying to look cool in front of immediately ratted me out/confirmed that I did indeed said "masturbated." He would always get "buzzed to the office" and insisted that I should be as well, despite the fact that I had never transgressed before.
3) My teacher took me outside and told me that she was going to "buzz me to the office." (Which she would normally do immediately; she'd walk to the intercom, hit a button, wait for a response, and say "please get [student] and take him to the guidance counselor's office")
Aside: Now, I wasn't exactly the teacher's pet, because I routinely didn't do homework, and would forget about assignments, but this teacher loved me because I would BS and joke around with her before and after every class. But the fact that she claimed that she was going to buzz me to the office, yet took me outside, meant I was being granted an opportunity for plausible deniability on her part.
Back to the story:
4) She took me outside and told me I was getting buzzed to the office, but she played dumb while I vigorously maintained that I said "Mr. Stupid." I backed up this claim with the very real facts that my parents were hardcore Republican Christian conservatives that despised Clinton, and that I espoused those beliefs as well, having given the president the moniker of Mr. Stupid.
5) She pretended to believe me and threatened everything under the sun if I ever came close to fucking up again.
6) When we came back into the classroom and I wasn't immediately sent to the office or punished at all, "bully/cool guy" flipped his shit and eventually HE got "buzzed to the office" for disrupting the class.
TL;DR Mrs. Jones was awesome and Martin got butthurt, although I think he had family problems. He and I are friends on Facebook now, and it looks like he's done well for himself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a rollercoaster.
Theseahorse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I saw that on Reddit 1000 times too!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's 1001 times
stormkeeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My guess would have been, "Life without a fax machine". Because that tech is ancient.
projectisaac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's technically wrong. 1855 ended before 1856, not during.
FluffyPinkRobeCrew ยท 443 points ยท Posted at 23:50:56 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First day working as an English teacher in France. Played Scattegories with some high school kids and the letter Z came up.
Girl: For 'animal' we have zombie. Me: Uhhh like a walking dead zombie? Girl: Yes, animal of the night. Me: Good explanation, you get a point.
J1NxxY ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:04:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
zebra tho
loversalibi ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:48:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but in scattergories if you and another player put down the same thing neither of you get the point for it so you want to be out of the box with your answers
monopticon ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:32:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zubat!
Storm137 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:48:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And a Zubat and a Zubat and a zubat. Zubat, zubat zubat everywhere, ZUBAT EVERYWHERE THIS IS DUMB.
SamAdamsGaming ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:07:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother and I once played Scattergories with my in-laws and family. The letter was "H", and for "Color" my wife's aunt put down "Hue." There was a huge argument, and my brother and I ended up leaving.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heliotrope.
BT4life ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker's green is apparently a color
SmartAlec105 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:08:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they have you teaching English English or American English? I could see either making sense.
dacria ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:06:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'd assume they just teach English but use the UK spelling because it's
correctcloser.ILovePotALot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:09:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooo shots fired!
SmartAlec105 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:08:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The UK does like to spell things in ways closer to how French spells it. Like "centre".
skylarmt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I see British spellings like that, I always hear them pronounced like French in my head. I can't help it.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The perks of knowing both American English and French
GreenTNT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get, plz help.
Vandechoz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how that explanation cleared anything up.
XavierScorpionIkari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call BS. Scattegories doesn't use the letter Z. My family and I play it all the time. Uhh lettered die that comes with the game is missing that letter along with others. I Or also missing: Y, U, Q, X, and V. We like to play house rules and will roll the die once to determine which list we use, then a second time to determine which letter. But that was too easy. So we decided to play a few rounds where we have to have at least one answer, for that list of ten categories, using all six letters that aren't on the die. So, for example, you could have as many as five answers of ten possible all starting with Q, but the other five all have to start with V, X, Y, Z, and U. (One letter each.)
[deleted] ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 01:59:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bummed I'm probably just a bit too late for this post but anyway:
6th grade math, first year teacher, teaching variables. Question called for students to write a word problem for x-5=10. First kid shared her story that she lost five apples and still had ten. Second kid starts his story with "Jon has 15 diarrheas"
It's never hurt so hard not to laugh. His delivery was perfect up until I cut him off.
Hates_escalators ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:01:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it seems like I have 15 diarrheas.
1LostInSpaceAgain ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:45:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I scared my cat laughing at this.
squidofthenight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So did i omg.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:38:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he have any shits left to give at the end of the story?
RedditSkippy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh middle school!
kayquila ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I just woke my housemate up laughing over this one.
Sensauce ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 01:01:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in golf lessons there was this kid named chris. He was new to golf and didn't know any of the terms. So his very first lesson our instructor asks "chris what tees do you play from?" And Chris replies with "the ones in the pro shop". I don't think I've laughed harder since
Edit: in golf courses, the tees where you play from refer to where you tee off. Usually there's different tee boxes to separate the skilled players from beginners. Chris was thinking about actual tees that you buy for your ball
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
WelshMullet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:56:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's down to the ambiguity of the word tee in this context, as tee can mean the small wooden/plastic item which you place the ball on when taking your first shot of the hole, and the location dedicated to this practice on each hole.
Golf holes usually have multiple tee areas, with one dedicated to competition play (the furthest from the hole), one for men's casual play (closer to the hole), and one for women and child casual play (closest to the hole).
The teacher here is asking the male child which of the tee areas he plays from (as if you can hit further, you usually play from the middle tee to improve game fairness). The child responds with the first definition of tee listed here, where he gets his tees from.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I understand now.
irlandes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is not funny anyway
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What year was this?
RodneyPeppercorn ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:04:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a story my professor has told.
On a multiple choice question that was related to avoiding subliminal seduction (brainwashing) the student wrote in "eat your wheaties" after crossing out the other answers.
Upsetti--Spaghetti ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:44:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I work with kids. I once had a 7 year old (mildly delayed) kid circle feeling faces to tell us how he felt when he was yelling earlier. He hands me the paper back with "lovestruck" circled. Confused, i asked him why he circled that if he was mad. He replied simply, "I love trucks". I had to leave the unit I was laughing so hard.
screamingmorgasm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:43:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is incredible and underappreciated.
sam537 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:53:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to assist pathophysiology classes in med school. One day we were discussing myocardial infarction, we were talking about three-vessel disease (very serious MI) and I asked: "So what does the patient need right now?" And then someone answered:"Formaldehyde!". Everyone cracked up and we had to stop the class for like then minutes.
Explanation: Three vessel disease in myocardial infarction is a very serious condition that carries a bad prognosis and almost always leads to surgery. This student went one step further (death) and prepared the body for embalming.
simplifiedchicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:41:04 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've got this slightly wrong. Triple vessel disease is very serious coronary artery disease, or ischaemic heart disease. An MI could affect one, two, or all three coronary arteries but we don't call that triple vessel disease.
Source: I am an anatomic pathologist.
lapizlazulistar ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 07:59:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a Cubs leader, teaching fire safety.
Me: What would you do if your clothes were on fire?
Kid: Not put them on.
I mean... I guess?
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 01:15:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was doing a classwide musical in elementary school. We had to memorize the words to the songs, so the music teacher asked how we were going to do that. My best friend piped up and said "Sit down, shut it, and think about it." Class laughed, teacher was not amused, my friend was hit by a car last fall. Good times.
edit: some words
ZCreator97 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 02:22:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpected
buttaholic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it coming
honkerman1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:10:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His/her best friend didn't
buttaholic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely saw this joke coming.
FunctorYogi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is some kind of poetic device. No, not just a pun.
o11c ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just a form of the Feynman Algorithm.
Smgth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:26:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many other algorithms involve being hit by cars?
o11c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one, at least
Sock_Ninja ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:50:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally jolted in surpise. Well done.
oldmanbombin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:55:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHA
My condolences, but, fuck, I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh.
emblebeeslovehoney ยท 1229 points ยท Posted at 23:53:35 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art Teacher: Give me a word that describes a texture
Student: MOIST
Teacher:.......
*cue giggles everywhere *
theinsanepotato ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 02:00:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is wrong though. Moist does not describe texture. Wetness and dryness are separate from texture. Texture would be stuff like smooth, bumpy, soft, rough, etc.
emblebeeslovehoney ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:08:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's definitely true. This is just an art 1 class though, and we are practicing drawing the illusion of texture with pencil, so for all [intents and] purposes they could try to draw a 'moist' surface by drawing water droplets, for example, and that would be perfectly acceptable texture drawing in my book :)
Edit: I get it guys, yeesh
MayorBee ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 02:27:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me that was intentional.
l-_l- ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:39:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For all intents and purposes, let's just say it was.
CouchMountain ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:49:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're in an arts class, doubt it was intentional
etv123 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:48:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No mistakes, just happy accidents.
gastropner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:44:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mistakes like that are a diamond dozen.
Logpile98 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but you still shouldn't take it for granite....
EmperorSorgiva ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're replying to likely a high school freshman. There's no way they know the actual phrase if they messed it up.
emblebeeslovehoney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It may or may not have been intentional......it also may or may not have been a very long work day...
sirpaul589 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ahh, yes, the "busy work day" excuse
IveAlreadyWon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intensive purposes are intense.
cwf82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... But only when the purposes are purposeful.
super_aardvark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And only when they're camping.
cwf82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and only when that camping trip falls on February 29th, under a full moon, and it must be a Wednesday.
super_aardvark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
camping -> "in tents" -> intense
theinsanepotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By that logic, I could try to draw a green surface by drawing grass, and that would be acceptable as a texture drawing.
Texture is a separate property from moisture level, as is color.
Also *For all intents and purposes.
Not 'for all intensive purposes.'
emblebeeslovehoney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:56:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The simplified definition I gave them for texture was "how an object feels if you touch it". So while moist isn't technically a texture, you can touch an object and describe it as moist. You can't touch an object and say it feels green.
theinsanepotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:49 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats fine if thats the definition you gave them, but Im just saying that the definition you used was not technically correct or accurate. By that definition, "cold" could also be used to define texture, which is much more obviously incorrect.
AfroKing23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont know if they grade it... but... Coarse.
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this was an art class, where language could be used more creatively.
theinsanepotato ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeaaaaaahhh... no.
Using language creatively doesnt make words suddenly mean something they just flat out dont mean. No matter how creative you get, moisture is not an aspect of texture. Full stop. End of story.
I could 'creatively' try to say that the texture of something is green, but I'd still be wrong. Color is independent from texture, and vice versa.
sealedinterface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HARD
c3534l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says who?
theinsanepotato ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:07:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says the definition of the word 'texture?'
Texture is how an object itself feels to the sensation of touch; it is a property inherent to the object. Moisture is not part of the object itself, it is a property that is added by a separate object, like water.
If I give you a piece of sandpaper, youd say its texture is rough, or coarse, or scratchy, or something like that. If I then soaked the sandpaper in water, its texture would be exactly the same, but now the whole object would be wet. 'Wet' still isnt part of the texture though.
Moisture level is a separate property from texture, just like color is.
raincatchfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wetness and dryness have texture, but are not textures.
hatsolotl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:28:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Noise
l-_l- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I like it rough then.
queenofthenerds ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:14:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just this past week, a student asked me why some people don't like the word moist.
xxmickeymoorexx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:55:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand why people hate it.
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:25:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because how I met your mother had a thing about it and people are impressionable
xxmickeymoorexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That explains it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It makes me think of mold and mushrooms.
queenofthenerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:59:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This student actually wanted an answer so I had to think quickly. I said some people just think of the word when it's bad. Like when you walk through a puddle in your socks. They aren't thinking of when it's a good thing, like a brownie.
OKImHere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because vagina.
xxmickeymoorexx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But moist vaginas are a good thing.
lovehate615 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's something about it that bring to mind both something sexual and something unpleasant like having clammy hands that makes it extra gross. On top of that, the mouth shape formed when saying the word emphasises some misophonia sensations related to the meaning of the word, so it's doubly terrible if you're bothered by that sort of thing.
xxmickeymoorexx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it's bad. I picture warm gooey cake or a lover that is excited.
So one needs to make a poll!
Xan_Void ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:55:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone watches Cr1tikal
DJRockstar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of, anyone know about them burgers down by the boardwalk?
DannyPrefect23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last two vocab lists we've had in our English class included flaccid and fetish. Lots of giggling has been had when we're not watching Hamlet. Hell, there's plenty to giggle at in Hamlet: the version we're watching has David Tennant as Hamlet and Patrick Stewart as both Claudius and Hamlet's father and a more modern setting. During a huge portion of Act II, and the "To be or not to be" soliloquy, Hamlet/Tennant/The Doctor's wearing a t-shirt with a printed six pack design. Also, it's funny to have all the references to Hamlet killing Polonious with a rapier, when in the movie, Tennant shoots his ass with a revolver.
RasterTragedy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:29:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blurry?
_Sagacious_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it.
blisstake ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OK; did he say it like "MEUOI-ST" ?
RobotJesus56 ยท 375 points ยท Posted at 01:17:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student, but I think it counts. Earlier this year we read Frankenstein, and the first page had a bunch of quotes on it. The student was supposed to identify who said what. I wrote Robert Walton for every quote.
The book is technically the letters of Robert Walton to his sister, so he did write every quote. He just wasn't the original.
I got full credit :)
ServalSpots ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:40:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"letters"
The first few are of sensible length. Then, let's face it, the fucker sends her a manuscript.
edit: Wasn't one of the letters from his sister in return?
edit2: Wait, no, he just quotes (at least) a letter in his long one that's basically the book. But yeah, your answer is still correct for the entire book.
RobotJesus56 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe? No important quotes there though
RetroVR ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:41:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It shows that you read the book (or know it enough to know who all wrote the letters), while being funny still.
InsaneDane ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would giving the answer "Mary Shelley" also have worked?
RobotJesus56 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so haha
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same. She took 20% off the top
RobotJesus56 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds fair honestly. I expected him to take points off but I wasn't complaining
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a slightly different situation. We were supposed to do a book of quotes by famous people, mixed with quotes from "To Kill a Mockingbird." The teacher never specified that she wanted the name of the character, and I assumed that she wanted us to put the author's name. Since Harper Lee was moderately famous, I thought it made sense for her name to be included.
happylittlenarwhale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAMN
DeadSarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have fun with the AP Lit exam. Just did that same exact worksheet.
RobotJesus56 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's rough from what I hear. Shooting for a 3 ๐
Tadpoles_Seem_Weird ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 02:16:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely will get buried. Best answer I ever got.
Giving a pop quiz, bonus question was "What is the 8th word in the National Anthem?"
Trade and grade...student raises hand...
Student: Teacher, what does this say?
Me: Looks at answer....can't figure it out....
Answer said: "Donserly"
Took me a few minutes...but we all were ROLLING in laughter. Best laugh I've ever had in class.
UncleTogie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:57:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How to remember a Beverly Cleary book where something similar happened... Ramona asked about 'the dawnzer's lee light'.
InsaneDane ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:36:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I may have to start using donserly as an adjective.
cellistwitch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:26:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seems more like an adverb to me
InsaneDane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:32:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In context:
While light can be a verb, in this case it appears to be a noun.
cellistwitch ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:42:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but I'd have more fun saying "I'm gonna walk donserly down to the post office" and similar things.
freshieststart ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:31:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an adjective, since the singer isn't sure whether others can see by a donserly light, contact indicates that it means "questionable sufficiency to detect." Such a useful word! For when you're not quite sure whether or not you're sensing whatever it is...
"Can you taste this donserly cordial?"
In chemistry when titrating: "my sample is donserly!"
When you aren't sure if you're hearing the neighbour's music over the sound of traffic, or whether the milk smells bad.
JustZisGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
contact -> context?
Also, I'm absolutely going to start using "donserly" in that context.
Tadpoles_Seem_Weird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We use it regularly in class now. We describe anything beyond description as donserly.
Ssgogo1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quality ashbitz
Pokecrafter88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a minute to realize, great
_Nathan_37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Canadian, can someone explain?
JustZisGuy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:51:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"O say can you see, by the dawn's early light..."
Alternatively, "troopaytreeit".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a minute, but holy shit that's funny. I can totally see how a kid could hear it wrong!
europeanCigar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Captain?
ecmrush ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:25:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"O say can you see, by the dawn's early light,"
FaithlessRoomie ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 01:24:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English and we were going over sickness and injuries and asking for advice.
The activity involved them going around and giving good advice or bad advice. (Ex: I have a fever, oh you should take medicine vs. Oh you should swim for 3 hours)
One boy came up to me:
Student: What's wrong? Me: I have hay fever. Student: GO TO HELL!
Main teacher came over he did the same thing. The look on his face when they said: "You too."
cthulhushrugged ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:26:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10th grader shown up to the first week of school... I notice he has a tattoo on his forearm.
Me: "Huh... so how old do you have to be in this country to get a tattoo?" (I'm in China)
Student: "Mr. Shrugged, you have to be old enough to walk up to the counter and put the money on it."
Me: "That... is an amazing answer."
LostMyThoughts ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:54:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching English to Korean students. We were learning about jobs and the question was, "What are jobs you like?" One kid raises his hand. "I like Steve Jobs."
Raaava ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 23:56:02 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one time a teacher asked "What is a seven letter word, that starts with an A and means to stand out and unusual" And someone said "Awesome" and the teacher laughed and wasn't sure if he should accept that answer.
[deleted] ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 00:16:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Raaava ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was Anomaly, originally
Nitr0s0xideSys ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It could also be asshole...
cynoclast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:35:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way too common.
Hates_escalators ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aberrant
That's 8
NoctusNightblade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking amazing
randarrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angular
WilliamifyXD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you know anomaly the youtuber you know how much the description checks out.
SretnuhTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome works though, very well. Extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring awe. If everything was awesome then nothing is awesome as it would become the standard. So, by definition, awesome works.
PhoenixAgent003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accented is too many letters and this upsets me more than it should.
Was about to post that all of these are correct and now I'm confused.
rionhunter ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:00:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did the teacher need help with their crossword?
an_imperfect_lady ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:58:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one said "Asshole?" MMmmm... you should teach where I teach.
slytheringutenmorgen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want to know what the word was now. Was it "amazing"?
Localyptica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Atypical!
OKImHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:52 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A-b-n-o-r-m-a...damn.
KnifeKnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anomaly
WISweetheart ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 02:47:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I called on a student who was clearly not paying attention and the conversation went like this:
Me - "Student's Name, please name an invertebrate."
Student - "Well yesterday you said a vertebrae has a back bone, so I would guess that a invertebrate does not. Hmmmm, I would have to say that a raccoon that has been run over by my dad's 18 wheeler no longer has a back bone."
Me - Cricket Cricket
Got to love third graders! Still not sure if this is technically correct, I say no, but most disagree with me.
InsaneDane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't invertebrates have to be alive, rather than just roughly arranged organic matter?
wibblewafs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you do it a bit more carefully, it can be kept alive for it, at least for a duration.
WISweetheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say they have to be alive, but they do have to be an animal. For example a dead deer is still an animal with a back bone (vertebrae) and a dead mollusk is still an animal without a back bone (invertebrate).
dm219 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
a quiz on planets,
four blanks for four letters. name the planet.
student wrote: "HOTH"
throwawayaccount5944 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:31:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't think of any 4 letter planets..
Edit; oh shit, im a fucking idiot.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:49:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mars, for those wondering
Vanity_Blade ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really Erth
cannedfoodman ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 02:33:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spelling test. Word was infamous. Used in a sentence: when I grow up I'm going to be an infamous raper.
That's definitely one way to be infamous.
MoneyTreeFiddy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, Notorious has already been taken.
Smgth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just don't show kids the classics any more: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0b6_i_eSgR8
cannedfoodman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodnight Ned.
God that movie is great!
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:47 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You killed the invisible swordsman!
I agree, one of the all time greats.
Grateful_Sugaree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:02 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Did he??!
cannedfoodman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:44 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's definitely not infamous, yet, but he has the potential I think.
madisskin ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 02:44:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in a catholic high school in a basic get to know Jesus class, my teacher noticed I wasn't paying attention. She asked me "where did jesus come from?" And I said "the Middle East?" She wrote me up for smart mouthing her
perskes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What answer would be correct? :o
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably either God or Bethlehem.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And what was the expected answer?
Longboarding-Is-Life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Jesus was white!
hmboo ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my preschoolers who just turned 5 recently. We do a letter of the week and come up with a list on Mondays.
Me: Okay guys, we're talking about "V" words this week. Can someone give me a V word?
Kid: Vampire
Same kid: (a few seconds later) Victim
Alrighty then.
loulabell ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:28:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with students with autism and yesterday one of the obnoxious office staff members who always needs attention wore her glasses in place of her contacts- she was acting all embarrassed all day and asking people if they looked ok and saying how she forgot her prescription. When she asked one of my students with Aspergers 'May do my glasses look good' 6 year old May said 'no, you look old'. Definitely not wrong but not what the office staff member was looking for.
theregoesthelight ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a teacher I know once came into her classroom full of first-graders, pointed at her eyes, and said "Children! What do I have two of?"
Silence - and then, "TITS!" from the back of the room.
Klaus_Goldfish ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 07:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more of a physical thing, but hey...
In my first electrodynamics lecture way back when, a female student (long hair, natch) was charged up to about half a megavolt with a marx generator cascade. Fun and all, plus it turned her head into an adorable fuzzball.
The prof was a bit of a cunt though, so he asked her: "So, how are you going to get down from there without giving yourself the shock of a lifetime?"
She took her keys out of her pocket (because for electrical discharges, pain is dependent on the current per unit area of skin), held them in her hand, one sticking out, and poked the prof in the neck.
Fucker jumped at least a foot, and he was of the white-haired, cane wielding persuasion. I'd say her answer was correct, though.
iZzzyXD ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just awesome. Hope she didn't get screwed over by the principal or something.
jovemarie ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 02:27:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose the question is: "What do you want for Christmas?" and doesn't have a right or wrong answer but the kids thought process is clutch.
When I taught CCD to preschool/kindergarten aged children, every year we took the first Sunday of December to write our Christmas lists.
One year, a kid answered "I want an ass bitch!" To which I said, "a what?!" (Through stifled laughs because kids swearing is hilarious.) He replied with "oh, uh, a donkey doggy! But daddy is always asking mommy for that 'ass bitch' and I want him to finally be able to have it, and I want a pet to play fetch with!!!"
/DEADFOREVER.
(Edit: for because my phone is dumb and deletes stuff sometimes as I type.)
perskes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is post is so fucking underrated!
jovemarie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:57 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I get for having a great response hours after the post hits the front page. Woe!
BrightEyEz703 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 01:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student asked for something and I told him him to say the magic word. His response: "Abra cadabra!!!"
Hates_escalators ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:54:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Avada Kedavra!
Power-of-Erised ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedhogwarts
mimi1218 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:47:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear, /u/Hates_escalators
You have received this letter from The Ministry of Magic because of your use of an unforgivable curse. You are going to be taken to Azkaban where you will await trial from The Wizengamot. If you leave your house, injure any Auror, or attempt to Apparate from the Aurors you will immediately be taken to Azkaban, where you will not recieve a trial and you will spend life in Azkaban.
Rufus Scrimgeour
Minister of Magic
Nick_Checchia ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, we ded.
WaterPanda007 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
funnily enough I once said that to a magician on accident
Storm137 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And? Ya can't end it there son.
WaterPanda007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lived on a farm as a kid and we would we go to a local fair (we would go to the goat showing competition with our goats) and we had gone there since I was 5 and since I was 5 I would always watch this one local magician do some simple yet mind blowing (to young me) tricks I watched him until I was 11 and I watched his life grow one year I noticed he had a wife who helped him onstage one year a baby etc. for those 5 years I would always volunteer and he would never call on me... until I was 10 I went up there and he did a trick I saw him do dozens of times I knew how he did it and everything (he had become on of my idols) I was so excited and a generally shy kid so I panicked and said Avada kadavra no one noticed enough to care and afterwords I got my pack of cards which I used to practice tricks signed good times and good man.
Storm137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sweet.
WaterPanda007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Storm137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome.
wantondavis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word
Astilaroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine says 'now' when I ask him that (he can word things in a bit of a commanding way).
disambiguated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Now."
MadMarq64 ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 03:19:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching geography to the kids in first grade. One of the kids had a habit of day dreaming throughout all of class and ignoring the whole lesson, let's call him Calvin.
Calvin was in the middle of one of his Day dreaming sessions and I had had enough. I walked up to his desk and vigorously asked, "This is a geography class, what state do you live in?" To which he responded with a smile, "Denial."
Wasn't even mad.
cihojuda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:28:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there.
AnotherWhiteMexican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:39 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, did Hobbes chime in as well?
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dayum
isnt that a lot for a first grader?
Pizza802 ยท 122 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second grade teacher slipped and told a friend of mine to "stop being a smart ass!" and he quickly replied " better than a dumbass." She turned around and continued to write on the board.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:33:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slipped?
LotusPrince ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:58:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not supposed to swear at your students. That was the slip - the break in composure. I guess you could say "slipped up."
ScarletNumbers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
Troloscic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh, I heard way worse, depends on the teacher really, so it's totaly plausible.
Vanity_Blade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
kodemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're being both right now."
Cyanide_Revolver ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 00:38:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My music teacher was showing us how to use an xylophone and said "Only hit the black keys, not the white keys" and my friend instantly replied with "Miss that's racist"
MoneyIsMyMotivation ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 01:39:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When learning about musical cords someone asked if the black keys counted when playing the piano and counting the 3+4 rule etc. A Girl turned around and said, "Yes, black keys matter." She wasn't wrong and everyone needed a second after.
LoneTXRanger ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:26:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You only count every 3 out of 5 black keys...
ScarletNumbers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:16:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was her name Le-a?
Cyanide_Revolver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student? His name was Darren
WheezyCK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:55 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That Darren? His name was Albert Einstein
Nick_Cliche ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:08:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a 3rd grade class as a substitute and asked 'what is the difference between a fact and opinion?'
'A fact is written in all uppercase letters and opinions are written in regular upper and lower case'.
Hates_escalators ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:08:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS IS A TRUE FACT
Not That My Opinion Matters.
Josorrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how you use regular caps though...
nice-villian ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:46:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping grad papers for my teacher. A question was "what would happen to earth if the sun suddenly disappeared" they answered "the earth wouldn't have any more days"
DonJovar ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:59:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine, let's call her Karen (because that's her name), told a story of when she was young. She was taking a test where they were shown a picture, then asked questions about details of the picture. The question was "Was the boy in the picture wearing a blue or green shirt?" Not knowing which of the two was correct (and knowing the full intent of the question) she answered "yes" and received full credit.
PotatoFaceMcGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I stupid for not getting this?
Mw4nerfmaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The intent of the question is to ask which colour it was by giving options. However it's poorly worded in that if it is in fact one of the two colours then you may answer that, Yes it is either blue or green.
MattTheFreeman ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a Co-op student at a local elementary school. I was teaching a 7/8 split. Every week during their history lesson we would ask "what were the biggest things that happened this week in history" to get kids to look up big events and learn about them.
In this class there were a lot of nerds. Like. 80% nerds. Like. Video game nerds, book worms, tv drama kids. Anime. You name it.
Well it was nearing the end if november and a Friday, and I asked the kids "okay this weekend, a very important historical event happened that shook the world. Does anyone know what it was?"
A girl BURST out and said "NOVEMBER 23RD IS WHEN THE BBC RELEASED DOCTOR WHO! THAT'S WHEN THEY PLAY THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR EPISODE"
I stood there. Shocked and kind of bewildered. Because she was right. I had to also add the assassination of JFK. But I also said that they happened almost on the same day too. It was a really cool mini lesson. But I was not expecting that answer.
I should also note the teacher was a HUGE doctor who fan and thought the same thing.
jmoliver2 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:06:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Getting my kids ready for the new year and asked them "What comes after 2013?"
A kid looks at me and says, "Tuesday."
Not the answer I was looking for, however the first day of 2014 fell on a Tuesday. Good job kid. My co-teacher lost it in the back of the room.
CorvidaeSF ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:08:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school bio.
Me: "Gametes are the formal name we use for sex cells. What's an example of a sex cell?"
Student: shouts across the whole class "JIZZ!"
Me: "Well, yes, but what is IN the jizz?"
forseti99 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:23:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English in Mexico. Students discussing what men find attractive in women.
Student: Is it correct to use "taste" when talking about the kind of people one likes?
Me: Yes, it is.
Student: OK. (continues discussion with classmates) So, you can taste a girl...
Me: NOOOO!!! WAIT!!!!
linkhandford ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:26:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inner city high school physics class on intro to energy
"What does friction make?"
"Babies?"
datusernameswag ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 03:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but during my senior year of high school my government teacher asked me out of the blue to explain what a government mandate is to the class. I wasn't paying any sort of attention so when he asked, I panicked and said it's when Barack Obama and Joe Biden go out for dinner. Took him a minute but in the end he agreed.
Jordaneer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
took me a minute, thats awesome though,
r/bidenbro
nelso116 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach French at a university. Like in English, the word for female cat = female genitalia. (So "pussy" = "la chatte"). I teach my students that all cats are male ("le chat", which is pronounced differently) so as to avoid any mishaps. Still, on a day where I'm being observed by my French-speaking chair, when I asked one student what she did over the weekend, she replied with perfect grammar and an excellent accent: "J'ai jouรฉ avec ma chatte tout le week-end." ("I played with my pussy all weekend.")
My chair turned bright red trying to hold in his laughter.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a way to express that you played with a female cat all weekend that doesn't sound dirty to a French speaker?
Akian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A simple, practical way? I can't think of one.
You can always use the masculine for cat and then switch to the feminine pronoun to disambiguate, but that's not really straightforward.
"J'ai jouรฉ avec mon chat tout le weekend. Elle est trรจs joueuse."
"I played with my cat all weekend. She's very playful."
Perhaps other French will have a better idea :)
But yea, basically, you can't really avoid sounding dirty when talking about a female cat :)
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:48:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my Psychology class last semester we we're discussing the Heinz dilemma which is basically "would you steal overpriced medicine to save a life?" Anyways, the professor asks the question of "For what reasons might you steal from the doctor?" The shy girl who only answers questions because no one else will immediately pops up and says "Because the doctor's an ass."
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to ask an eight-year-old this question for a Human Development class project.
He said "He should not have stolen the medicine, because if everyone stole to get what they wanted, then nobody would have anything, and if you stole something someone else would steal it from you, so like five percent of the world would have everything and everyone else would just be stealing the same stuff from each other over and over again."
Made it really hard for me to answer which developmental category his answer fell in.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Alpha3031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:20 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take 2 to 1 for the ball being in a degenerate state.
benben11d12 ยท 445 points ยท Posted at 23:27:02 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard someone tell this story on a podcast the other day. The exam question was "what is the greatest force of change on Earth?" Test was for a geology class, the answer was supposed to be "water."
"Love," one student writes. Well, the teacher realizes, the student isn't exactly wrong. Without love we wouldn't have babies, without babies the human species would have died out a long time ago, and since humanity--the perpetrators of deforestation, changing climate, other terraforming to impose its will--is the real biggest force of change on Earth...yeah, the teacher thinks, maybe love.
I just thought...what a heartwarming story celebrating the destruction of earth at the hands of humanity.
Edit: the podcast was Dear Hank and John (or as John prefers to think of it, Dear John and Hank)
magicninja31 ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 23:38:18 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may say I'm a dreamer.....but I'm not the only one...
milesfortuneteller ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not.
Zman1322 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope someday, you will join us.
cableguy303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the world will be as one
buttbutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know I'm a dreamer.....but my heart's of gold...
magicninja31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to run away high....so I wouldn't come home low....
too_original ยท 313 points ยท Posted at 00:42:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Babies are created without love all the time.
damian001 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:21:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And babies born into loving, functional families are more likely to become educated, which means they're less likely to pollute.
benben11d12 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:56:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah the teacher's dumb
iamsad67 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โThe lack of a secure attachment relationship in the early years has detrimental consequences for both physical and mental health later in life, with long-lasting effects that vary by sex. The persistence of these effects after the end of treatment emphasizes the need to intervene early in life to prevent long-term damage." Even if babies can be created without love, those babies still need love to be healthy adults.
too_original ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100% agree.
MattTheProgrammer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence castration
meneldal2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2meta2soon?
DasJuden63 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just ask my ex wife
Peacer13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love for your money is still love.
nagurski03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because abstinence only works in consequential situations.
Oluja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am baby.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:07:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keyword: Can
TedW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:23:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL my mother's into incest. So is my dad. And my grandparents send me a letter year every year saying they want to bang me. Woah, I gotta get outta here.
Bowbreaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Outta your room and into their embrace. Better hurry or you might miss out on some sweet lovin'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S E C K S
LinLeyLin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:35:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theniceguytroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a new one.
flykessel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aww now i'm sad again
Peacer13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lust love, freedom fries French fries, slut hoe, same difference.
Sssgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Voldemort?
too_original ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a nice guy I promise.
The_Flying_Stoat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
replaces last three letters
o11c ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:20:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the most accurate answer would be "oxygen":
Technojerk36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interstellar is that you
c3534l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This already sounds made up. Either that or a 12 year old with a penchant for unusually phrased ambiguous sentences was teaching the class.
benben11d12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but I mean it's probably my paraphrasing of the story that makes it sound ridiculous.
itwasthechlorine ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:35:06 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was one dear hank and john. Not sure if i should be mad for your B.S. or happy i found another listener.
benben11d12 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:37:04 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it was!! How is this BS?
itwasthechlorine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:03 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my bad. I didn't see that you said it was in the podcast. I thought you were passing it off as if it happened to you. Whoops.
benben11d12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:08 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh heck nah. It's also in the third person. This weeks episode might have been my favorite of all time
itwasthechlorine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was pretty great.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you don't need love to have babies
iMarmalade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL you can only fuck someone if you love them.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:44:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We would have babies. Love is not the urge to bone. Although love does seem to cause us to raise/protect/nurture those babies. We would have a ton of fucking babies with no love. Probably more than we do with love. Fuck birth control when you don't care about the woman or the baby inside her. Assuming humans have an awareness of the correlation between sex and pregnancy in this scenario, they may try to prevent it.......But would still most likely be after their nut if they knew of some early abortion method, toxic berries or whatever. Aside from that, maternal instinct would get it born.....It just wouldn't last long. How could tender meat last so long? Edit: Fuck making sure you protect the baby inside you, or maintain a degree of health necessary to carry a human fetus to term.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best comedy podcast about death on the market
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
violetwit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that you literally made that a thing.
blueroom789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need money, don't need fame
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ehm, love doesn't have anything to do with babies, at all.
TheeSweeney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that student was Albert Einstein.
macjesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a baby with a girl I hated. She was sexy as fuck tho.
benben11d12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, you did love how sexy she was
macjesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would not call it love. She was sexy but not a 10. 10s are hard to find.
wiwigvn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found Dumbledore.
whatIsThisBullCrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers
Supreme_Switch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sup' Nerdfighter
SovietWarfare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents created me without love so that's wrong.
STaY_TUNeD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ack 1: the Power of Love
TeenWolfBltzer ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:45:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach guitar.
I asked my 9 year old student what the difference was in how I played a note and how he played the same note. I wanted him to notice his technique was a little different.
"You've gone through puberty?"
I mean...he was right.
[deleted] ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 05:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine, but:
"There isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up,
"Yeah, right."
igdub ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:00:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That man from the back of the room? Albert Einstein.
akeetlebeetle4664 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/madlads
Troloscic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shame you posted so late this is by far the best one.
readingcarrot ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:03:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a first grade student mix up which side you started reading a problem from.
The problem was 1 = 8 - ____. He was able to make a hybrid 7/9... Clever little kid got full points. Pic of his cleverness
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so confused.
_Count_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:04:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid wasn't sure if question was read left to right, or right to left, so he made a character which could be read as either a 7 or a 9:
1 = 8 - 7
9 - 8 = 1
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Math is hard for me lol.
Zacroscopic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ditto.
readingcarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The correct answer was 7. 1 is the same as 8 take away 7.
For some reason, balancing subtraction equations where the unknown is in any position is a first grade standard to be mastered.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not good at math and I have no clue what you just said.
RedStarSuperStar ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:09:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my kids, "what is the capital of Texas"? My five year old daughter instantly answered with all the confidence in the world..."T"!
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smart!
henrywolf123 ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 02:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I had a moment like this in 10th grade in the middle of a VERY dry English class. The teacher asked us what a paradox was and nobody was raising their hands to answer because they were all about to fall asleep. I raised my hand and said " Two doctors standing next to each other". The class just stopped for a minute :p. Tldr "what's a paradox" " 2 doctors standing next to each other"
Poet_Princess ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so confused.
NotDido ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:55:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A pair of docs
Poet_Princess ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:57:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, gotcha. Now I feel stupid. Lol
9bikes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. I was looking at /u/henrywolf123 's user name to see if it was a Dr. Who reference.
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't get it?
9bikes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Paradox" sounds just like "pair of Docs". You think the question is "What is a paradox?", but the actual (joke) question was "What is a pair of Docs?".
Dr. Who is a British science fiction TV show about time travel. The lead character is "the Doctor". When an actor has left the series, the sudden change has been explained as a new Doctor has replicated. This leads to there being a First Doctor, Second Doctor, etc.. For two on them to stand next to one another who require some sort of time paradox.
SanaSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your second explanation is totally awesome and very close to my heart. Thanks for that!
9bikes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is seriously what I thought about when I first read (and missed) the joke. Funny thing is, I'm not a big Dr. Who fan, so its kinda odd that I'd go there.
SanaSix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's even better. I missed both the original joke and the possibility of a reference, so nice job.
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh wait nevermind
Arcacian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I thought it was a doctor who reference.
Cimroa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, and here I thought I came up with an original joke.
Jordaneer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard it told that Here is one dock, and there is another, what are they together
a pair 'o docks
bbm72 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:19:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching a lesson about travel. Ask the kids for names of their favorite hotels. From the back (of course) ..."Hotel Rwanda".
marpocky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it is a nice hotel. Expats in Kigali actually go there to hang out by the pool. No joke.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quiz question: who attended Gatsby's funeral?
Answer from perhaps 3/4ths of the class: Gatsby
longHairDontCare90 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:53:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching ESL: " I am short but my brother is high"
The__Inspector ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:09:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. I work at a theme park so I have to make sure kids are tall enough before getting on the ride. This little kid comes up and she isn't tall enough so she's probably like four or five years old or something and she looks at me and goes, "I'm not high enough for this ride." I was like yeah me neither.
popcapcrazy ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 03:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My 6th grade students were composing 6-word memoirs (say something about yourself in exactly 6 words). Best one I ever got was, "I am bad at counting."
spitfire9107 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:19:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in high school the question was "what disaster is affecting nyc now" back in 2006. My friend wrote "rosie o donell"
DrAustralia ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:49:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching History, talking about Hitler.
"Before WW2 had officially begun, Hitler was determined to do what?"
I was looking for the answer "Expanding Eastward."
I got 2 "Gassing Jews!". Ehhh, fine then.
"Rebuilding Germany!" raises hand then lowers it she's... not wrong persay. She's actually really fucking right. More right than gas jews or expand eastward.
Shit
lafeber ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:49:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but something I said when I was in 3rd grade. I was eating a sandwich in class.
Teacher: "This classroom is not a restaurant!"
Me: "That's why I bring my own food."
roboticleopold ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 03:48:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Can anybody tell me what AIDS stands for?
(Without missing a beat, hand straight up)
A. Arse-injected death sentence.
You can imagine how much punishment he got for that
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:13:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I presume AIDS
Snarls_Bukowski ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:27:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 7 year old asked what the word defeated means, his classmate raised his hand and said "it's when your feet get cut off"... I cracked up.
Athymia ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:07:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 6th grade we were doing word unscrambles to find things that come from the tropical rain forest. One kid kept bugging the rest of us at the table for answers. We got tired of him getting free answers, so he wasn't given the correct answer for "rgnieg" -Correct answer was "ginger." That was not on the paper he turned in... He had to stay after class.
Akvian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:37:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow...
kinwai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Here, look! Don't make a sound! Now observe as our little man is in his natural habitat here in the tropical rain forest. In fact, he's doing the mating ritual dance!"
ArrrowSands ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: What was the name of Andrew Jackson's wife?
Student: Mrs. Jackson.
Credit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In all honesty what is the academic point of that question? To see if you can make children read textbooks instead of playing, or that teachers can teach pointless information during school time?
freshieststart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well we don't know what the class was about but sometimes teachers are developing kids' reading comprehension, memory and attention span rather than it mattering exactly which topic they choose. As an adult it matters that you can read a passage and learn what it says a lot more than it matters what some random dude's wife was named.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:42 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm lazy and don't want to think of any real work so just relay garbage information back to me that you'll purposefully forget"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kinwai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he meant to make her daughter cry?
StoicPhoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was she climbing out the back door?
_KL16_ ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:49:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school my buddy and I were working on a worksheet on WWII. The question was, "How did the Nazis go about exterminating millions of Jews in Germany?" Before I could write anything down, my friend just wrote, "happily".
We got the point.
mimi1218 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One key problem with the question is that millions of jews were actually murdered in Poland. Only a couple hundred thousand were killed in Germany. Shame on the teacher.
Bekenel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Critical analysis has no place in r/askreddit.
TheStig3136 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all nazis wanted to kill people...
squidofthenight ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG YOU DID NOT JUST "NOT ALL NAZIS." Good god.
flofromproggresive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah FUCK him for being open minded! Totally fuck that guy. We should all be close minded and only listen to one person to dictate everything we say, think or do!
oh wait..
squidofthenight ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you go right ahead and condone Nazi apologetics, I'm gonna be over here knowing that's a disturbing cultural trend I think has no place in society.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
squidofthenight ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha oh you angry little child. There there. It must burn to feel so righteous about standing up for Nazis.
ianburgler ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:31:20 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must honestly either be on the world's tallest high horse or think millions of education Europeans were complete fools. You are void of the ability to put yourself in other's shoes. Work on this and grow as a human being.
squidofthenight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:36 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is so horrifyingly fascinating, Nazi apologists actually out in the wild. They should have a zoo of you people. The ones who think it's ever appropriate to defend Nazis. The things you see in this world shakes head in sad wonder
ianburgler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:18 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are literally calling a Jewish man a Nazi apologist. It's division of peoples and lack of understanding that created the national socialist party (Nazis) that nearly took half my family's lives in Poland. The centralising, and demonising of others is what creates totalitarianism, leading to mass executions. It starts with"you people", "lock you in a zoo". When your attitude takes hold of a population, no voice of reason can revolt. Especially not when they militarize and de-arm the citizens, leaving all options closed. I don't know what point you have to prove by pointing fingers, but you are on the wrong side of history and sociology. Take some history classes at a local community college, get to know your opponents viewpoint before blindly naming a Jew a Nazi.
squidofthenight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:19:41 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so you're one of those "edgy" types who wants to be different and better by being a Jewish Nazi apologist. Like "I'm not like other girls, I'm not a feminist" women. Gotcha. Well you do you, good sir. I'm done here.
TheStig3136 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, I don't know the specifics but you probably had to join or it was frowned upon to not join the army.
szolan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they had a choice. From what I understand, all able bodied men were conscripted.
synaptica ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:14:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I often teach Research Methods in Psychology. One of the goals of the class is to get the students to learn how to write a proper scientific paper. We spend time on things they have trouble with -- including the difference between "affect" and "effect." As a bonus question on an exam, I asked, "In class, we discussed the most common usage of "affect", which is a verb -- but I mentioned that it can also be used as a noun. Write a sentence in which you use "affect" as a noun. He wrote," "Come here, Affect," I said to my dog."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How CAN it be used as a noun?
synaptica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means "an expressed or observed emotion" -- most often used in Psychology and Psychiatry.
jellohostess ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:34:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I taught 7th grade science, we studied asexual and sexual reproductionโ. It wasn't a "birds and the bees" sort of thing, just biology. I made the mistake of asking my class, "What are some of the benefits of sexual reproduction?" And one lovely young man yelled out, "It feels real good!" I did what any good teacher would do in my situation...laughed my ass off with the rest of the class and told him he was right.
Cobbleking32486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could've brought up the example of cats.
jastify ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:08:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't believe I'm late! My professor with a crazy ass last name to a lecture hall of 400 kids: "does anyone know where my last name comes from?"
Some random kid amidst the silence: "your parents!"
Level5Goblin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my biology class in high school we had a quiz in evolution. The final question was "name one way the world would be different without evolution."
I wrote "Pokรฉmon would be really boring."
Full credit.
endwithzero ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 23:59:30 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was doing student teaching my mentor teacher said this:
"Once you guys finish with your work then we can G-O O-U-T"
The right answer was "go out" she spelled it out, then asked if any of them knew what that meant.
She called on a kid and his response was
"Play?"
You aren't supposed to laugh at kids when they get answers wrong.
I didn't do so great that time...
Edit: trying to clear up some confusion
OfficerSoAndSo ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:46:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the answer supposed to be?... I immediately thought go out and play, assuming you were student teaching elementary school kids.
NotDido ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:48:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She spelled the words out and wanted he kids to put them together and say "go out"
endwithzero ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:56:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The answer was go out, he knew it was just about recess time, but couldn't figure out what she had spelled, so he guessed play, not exactly what she asked, but still not technically wrong.
Tarnish3d_Ang3l ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I don't know the kids level of intelligence, or what grade this took place in, but I think he fully understood what she spelled. The meaning behind the words "go out" means he gets to play so technically he was correct .. if she wanted to know if the kids understood what she spelled she should have asked what she said not what she meant. His answer was more accurate than the "correct answer" but that's just my two cents.
kodemage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the answer was "go out", but your explanation is what he was thinking.
boyferret ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:40:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see what's wrong with his answer.
ServalSpots ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you get older you'll find just because someone agrees to go out, they don't necessarily want to play. Story of my life.
boyferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you need to find a different game.
kodemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how you spell PLAY...
boyferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what does go out mean? (For kids). It means playing out side for a set period of time (please inserter proper "r" word that I cannot spell right now).
kodemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It means go out... It's not a different language...
Did you mean recess?
boyferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah couldn't for the life of figure out how to spell it. I have wierd brain blocks sometimes.
boyferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But to kids in school, if they go out it means it's time to play. The teacher asked what it means not what is spelled.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the right answer?
ugottjon ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:37:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one day in my physics class in high school we were using yard sticks. Our teacher specified that these were only to be used for measuring things. A couple of kids decided to use them as swords instead. The teacher goes "I said those are only to be used for measuring things!" and one student responds "Yes, I am measuring your patience."
everlastingSnow ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm kind of cheating here because I was the student but I just remembered this. I was in Grade 4 and the teacher was reading us a book about Egypt and the life of slaves working on the pyramids. I was not a bright 7-8 year old by any means so this happened:
Teacher: How would you describe this job? It is a (makes 'duh' sound)
Me: Dead-end job! (I had just learned the expression and didn't know what it meant (though I'm pretty sure the people who built the pyramids weren't getting many promotions so I wasn't wrong))
Teacher: No, [MY NAME], dangerous! laughs (In my defense, I had been thinking that but it seemed so obvious that it was dangerous that I assumed she was looking for a different answer)
Everyone else was super confused because most of them had no clue what I was talking about but I'm sure if they understood the phrase they'd have laughed too. I was embarrassed for the rest of the class.
ShreddedDick ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When asked "what did the Chinese bring to the table?" in middle school social studies on WII. Kid responded "won-tons".
anonymousraccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wontons are rad
kooknboo ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife works with students (10-14yo) with development problems. The question was "Name three things you love".
One kid answered -
Another time (possibly same kid, I'm not sure)... the kid was misbehaving so she told him to go to the office. The kid left the room and an hour later the police were walking him back into the school. He had walked about 2 miles down the road to a bar called The Office.
anastaze ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:40:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching some kindergarteners rhyming, we were doing the sound "ore" like in bore and one of my students yells out "whore". I couldn't stop laughing and neither could my EA. He wasn't wrong. We decided to not pry him on how he knew that word...
Nadamir ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter's eight, and in an advanced English class.
Every week they have a set list of words they have a test on, plus each child chooses 5 more that they want to learn.
I received a phone call a week ago asking me to come see my daughter's headmistress. Great.
I arrive at the school to find that my daughter had chosen 'whore' as one of her words.
She got it confused with 'wharf.'
She and I had fun with the teacher. Next week's list was only words that could be confused with curse words. Mustard, prissy, maggot...
Edit: I forgot to mention how my daughter used it in a sentence (because you have to do that).
Here in Ireland, the part of Dublin that the tech companies work out of is occasionally called in reference to Silicon Valley.
My daughter put down, 'Someday my dad wants to work at the Silicon Whore.'
Yep. I am a developer so yeah, I do want to work at the Silicon Docks (occasionally called the Silicon Wharf) eventually.
geared4war ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably Xbox Live.
Or OPs mom.
bopeepsheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teach him the word 'hoar' (as in frost). That used to trip up some of the city-folk teachers at my rural primary school, who were rather shocked that we used it so freely...
Imnottheassman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:29:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Ok, as a quick refresher, who was Lenin?"
Student: "Wait, he was that guy who was shot in Central Park, right?"
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine all the Commies...
BobcatOU ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was introducing a unit on ancient Chinese history to a group of sixth-graders by discussing modern-day China a little bit. When I mentioned the population of well over 1 billion people in the country a boy yelled out, "Damn! Haven't they heard of condoms?!"
Cup0Jo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:25:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My freshman health teacher said that once on a quiz it asked where the man puts his penis, and the kid wrote "wherever she lets you." He used this as an example because if our answers were funny, we'd get half credit
WubbyLubbyDoobDoob ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:29:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend is a chemistry teacher. She said in one of her experiments, the questions asked what was missing from the equation. The answer was NaCl. One student answered "A pinch of salt". She showed it to me laughing with tears in her eyes at how unbelievably cute that sounded and she told me in a way he wasn't wrong.
dontstealmypenguin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:29:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we were going over mock exam answers in DT. Our teacher can talk for ever about one topic and he gets distracted easily, so were on like question 5 an hour into the lesson. He's really passionate about sustainability and the environment and all that jazz and after about 15 mins talking about one question about renewable energy and going completely off topic he asked us how long we think the sun will last. Someone gave a stab at the answer and then he was like "we think about 5 billion years actually".
My friend who cant stand wasting time and looked like he was about to shoot himself: "fucking hell we'll be on question 7 by then"
Great_White_Lark ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While I was in history class the instructor asked "what should be done to punish the south after the civil war?" Without missing a beat, my buddy calls out "enslave them!".
TheHallowQueen ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:28:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but probably the most pissed I've ever seen a teacher get..
She explained some formula in algebra (8th grade or so) and did examples yadda yadda, then asks if anyone has any questions. My friend raised his hand and asked, "Why are there interstates in Hawaii?" Her face turned all red and said, "Get the hell out of my classroom."
So many of us tried not to laugh because she was so angry. When she left the room to talk to my friend we were like, "Well, she DID ask If anyone had questions." lol
jonesandbrown ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:27:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once during a routine vision test I was tested for color blindness, a test I had taken before and passed. The woman told me "read the letters in the circles" so I did, until I got to the backwards E. I paused and looked again just to make sure, but then I answered "backwards E". The lady almost closed the book because I'd done the rest so quickly. She just looks at me, looks at the card, looks back at me and says "I've never heard that one before".
tl:dr: it was a 3. Also I was 20 years old.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะญะท
pentriloquist ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:51:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I promise I'm not making this up.
I teach ESL to Korean children. One summer I had a class of advanced students who spent the regular school year at international schools, so they were quite fluent.
During one session, I briefly remarked that my dad was a grumpy guy. One of the fourth grade boys replied, "Is it because he can't stick his private part in your mom's private part?"
My dad had penile cancer and had a portion of it removed just a month prior to this.
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 22:25:34 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
World history class for 5th graders. End of the Unit test on the Middle Ages.
The question: "Why are the Middle Ages, in Europe, often described as the Dark Ages?"
The answer: 'Because lightbulbs weren't invented yet.'
benben11d12 ยท 349 points ยท Posted at 23:16:20 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say that person is, in fact, wrong.
Strayed54321 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 00:17:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying that light bulbs were around in the middle ages?
mokniker ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:40:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm no expert, but I haven't even reached middle aged yet and we have light bulbs. Not in Europe though so I can't speak for them.
AllesGeld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had to check for if Ken M
Rob_1089 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Ken M
Rob_1089 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok Ken M
benben11d12 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 00:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying that people don't call the Dark Ages dark because there were no light bulbs in the middle ages.
UberUSB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wording on the question is "described as", not "called".
If it was called, you'd be right. since it says "described as", I'd say the kid is right.
benben11d12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
often described as
SovietWarfare ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:05:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you would be wrong, it was very dark back then.
Rokusi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's precisely what he isn't saying.
XavierBob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its weren't though...
Rokusi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, it used to be "were" before OP edited it, but based on benben's other comment it would seem I misinterpreted what he was going for anyway.
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proofreading is for suckers
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
StayPuffGoomba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Torches obviously existed. Fire was discovered in 23A.D.
daedalus1982 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:13:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a historian but that date seems wrong to me.
Bowbreaker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:01:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The person asking the question was wrong as well. Only a part of the Middle Ages is known as the Dark Ages afaik.
djeekay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:52 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The term isn't correctly in use at all.
Bashlet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something I used to do in my highschool history class. We'd generally be shown a video and then were given a standardized paper asking questions, one of which was to name a fact that the video presented. Every single time I would write down that horses existed during the time period of the video.
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had gold, I'd give it
igdub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:06:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty bad attempt at being witty since the answer is completely wrong. Even technically wrong.
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sad part is he wasn't trying to be a smart ass. He just isn't....bright. Eh?
HansJobb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So why were they called the dark ages? Although I never really heard them called that in History tbh.
kjata ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "Dark Ages" is, as a name, entirely a product of the Renaissance. They had a huge boner for antiquity at that point and considered it the apex of culture. The Renaissance was a rebirth of antiquity-type behaviors, which had rather fallen by the wayside in the Medieval period.
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:08:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Middle Ages in Europe were a time of marked 'unenlightened behaviors' when compared to the rest of the world. While China was inventing gun powder and Islamic scientists were inventing the camera obscura and algebra, Europe was left arguing over things like, "how many angels can fit on the head of a needle?"
Rokusi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well don't leave us in suspense. How many?
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:52 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the answer's either 1 or infinite, and the question isn't really about angels, it's about whether space is quantized or infinitely divisible.
The740 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were they arguing that while building massive cathedrals, mechanical clocks, blast furnaces, and the tools to be able to navigate the globe?
Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't to say there wasn't 'any' thinking or scientific advancement. But when compared to the Roman Empire that had just collapsed, they weren't very bright crayons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real answer: middle school history classes are still teaching horribly outdated ideas about the Middle Ages, leading to high school or, at worst, college history teachers having to deprogram them of the Dark Ages fallacy.
djeekay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:54 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. For those following along at home, we don't describe the middle ages, any part thereof, or any other era as the dark ages any more.
mytwocentsshowmanyss ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:00:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had kids writing a mini-essay on whether minors should be charged as adults for serious crimes, with the requirements that they claim which side they're taking, cite evidence from provided articles and analyze that evidence to support their position. One of the articles says something about how minors getting sexually assaulted in adult prisons is a serious problem, so a kid quotes that bit, and his commentary reads: "I mean, it's gotta be true cus there's no bitches in prison and sometimes a handjob just ain't enough. You know they're gonna holla at them young boys cus it's the closest thing."
He made a claim and used evidence to support his position.
yognautilus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:09:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our mini-project for the day was to come up with 10 things that you and your group would bring with you to survive on a deserted island. This one group gave me the names of 10 Japanese porn stars. Teaching in an all boys high school in Korea is something else.
caidicus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:13:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had to give an oral English test to a Chinese girl of about 7 years old. I would hold up a card, and ask her, "what does he do?" or "what does she do?" For all of the jobs, she didn't hesitate, as she new them fluently. It wasn't until we came to "he's a writer" that she started having problems. She couldn't remember writer. The writer on the card was a black man writing in a book.
The thing is, the word for "um... uh..." in Chinese sounds like "nay gah" and when a Chinese person can't remember something, they often repeat that sound over and over again. So, instead of "he's a writer" I got "he's a nay guh nay guh, writer"
The whole office had this "wtf did she just say?" look of incredulity on their faces, with a deep and sudden silence.
Mysrique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
้ฃไธช, which is often pronounced that way in common speak, directly translates to "that is" :)
magikarpcandosplash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You saved me. I'm Chinese Indonesian and I stared at "nay guh" and tried to pronounce it for a few minutes. Never would I expect it to mean ้ฃไธช.
Mysrique ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:27 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's basically ้ฃไธไธช, which when smushed together by someone who speaks Chinese fast, you get that pronunciation XD
Same meaning, still. Also, glad to have helped ;-; I don't get to show off my proficiency much
Edit: reworded for clarity
caidicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:11 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no. ้ฃไธช literally means "That one" not "That is" "That is" is "้ฃๆฏโ or "้ฃไธชๆฏโ But when a Chinese person repeats ้ฃไธช๏ผ้ฃไธช๏ผ้ฃไธช, it is the equivalent of "that uh... that uh... that uh..." that us native English speakers might also say repeatedly, when we're stumped.
Back2Bach ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 00:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For me, the funniest will always be from a music appreciation class, when one student asserted that Handel's organ concertos would never be as substantial because Bach obviously conceived his organ works on a much larger scale.
RazarTuk ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:56:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching assistant for a computer science class.
If you aren't in programming, you need to know that variable names are really just a human convention. They only matter so you, the programmer, know what something refers to. The computer only cares about where in memory the program left the data. Hence, you normally have meaningful variable names, especially in larger programs. One student last year took advantage of this. He came up with the most random variable names I've seen, and I wish I had saved a copy of his programs. And because they were such short programs (first programming class and all), he could get away without without accidentally obfuscating his code so much that he couldn't understand it.
Normally I'd take a point off for not having legible code. (Actually for not having commented, but my idiosyncrasies are irrelevant) But I was honestly so impressed at his creativity that I let him keep the point with a warning not to do it again. (And praise for his creativity)
iyaerP ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:58:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my high school coding class, there was a student who's variable names would start at 'x', and concatenate an x every time, so he'd have 'x', 'xx', 'xxx', 'xxxx', and so on. Our teacher told him not to, but he would always keep on doing it.
rusty0123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a recent discussion about this with another programmer. He pointed out that, in the current age, this convention no longer applies. Because many, many programmers are not native English speakers. Therefore, a meaningful variable name to that coder might be complete gibberish to an English speaker. So the only way to consistently apply that rule is to assume that every single person who will ever look at the code during it's life cycle would share the same native language.
He's right. (And I feel much better about my unconventional variable names.)
CatfishBandit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also modern programming suites like visual studio make it a bit easier to track down variable references. so long as its a distinct variable it really doesn't matter anymore.
pascalbrax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:27:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why many programmers use english variables even if it's not their native language.
sirxez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conventions are conventions lols. They don't have to necessarily be english conventions, but if the variable name can tell you something and the same way, then your better off. If people speaking different languages need access to the code, it would be far better for everything to be in english. If its so bad that you can't communicate, you guys probably shouldn't be actively messing with each others code.
abrokensheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like "a2R4Qq_uE" or "for (int cultivation=0; cultivation<10; cultivation++)"?
solntsev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried this in university, replaced variables in short program with "_" and bunch or random digits.
But it backfired because program started give wrong output and I had to debug it.
sirxez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, variables are an abstraction, but they do mean something to the compiler. And certain variable names are bad (break programs) eg using a reserved word.
Legible and commented code isn't really your idiosyncrasy. That's common practice.
Who_lies_about_cake ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:08:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife teaches 4th grade and gave a math test. One of the questions was "what are metric units?" One of her wittier students wrote "a system of measurement used everywhere else in the world besides the US."
SCDarkSoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given the wording of that question I would say that that answer is simply correct, not even trying to be witty. It's probably along the lines of how I would have answered in full seriousness if that was indeed the question wording.
patcheswfb ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:27:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a kid in my Chemistry class (that everyone else was failing - but he was breezing through), and he did an entire exam using rods (1r = 5.0292m) instead of meters, because the test didn't specify units. The teacher had to convert the answer key to see if he was right. He was.
Burples ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:52:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Note: this takes place in Canada.
Talking about international women's day with a group of 5&6 year old girls,
we ask "does anyone know what international women's day is?"
Little girl puts up her hand and confidently declares "Donald trump thinks women aren't strong but we are!"
RiidoDorito ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:10:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened yesterday.
I teach English part time in Japan. One of my students just started studying for TOEFL, which is a pretty difficult English proficiency test (it's college level English).
We were working on a reading passage on botany, and the word "weed" came up (in the sense of not wanting weeds in your garden).
I asked him is he understood what weeds were, and (oh so surprisingly) he answered, "marijuana?"
I told one of my coworkers and he said that a similar thing happened to him. When he asked his student what weeds were, the student replied, "something you smoke and it makes you feel good".
Edit: I teach English but I cannot English.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somehow not surprised considering how influential American media is.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:42:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nubless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard a different rendition of that, but the student in question wrote it all as a phrase on the last page and got full marks. I either got a diluted version of the story or its probably a made up scenario.
El_Clutch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, the variation I heard was write an essay on Bravery, had to be 4 pages.
Student writes in small on the bottom of the fourth page "This is bravery", with the other pages blank, and got full marks.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They've got balls o.O
ArcticBerry ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:43:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not super relevant but my French teacher was going over a test with us and said "see, its not rocket surgery". Been our motto outside class ever since.
ricamnstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The line "it's not rocket surgery" was in the movie Mystery, Alaska (1999) and again in Boondock Saints 2 (2009), so that phrase has been floating around for almost 2 decades. Which means that both your French teacher and I are old. Hahahahahaha.
oozinator1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother got me a shirt that says that.
Helix-09 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:52:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q. Muslim women have lots of rights. What kind of rights do Muslim women have?
A. The right to remain silent
radellah ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:24:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 6th grade, and I was giving a pretest in math. The kids are always writing "IDK" on them, which makes me bonkers. I ask them to tell me what it is they don't know, since it's generally a vocabulary issue. It helps me plan for the unit and figure out what the kids already know. Well, one little lovey decides to write "IDK. You ain't taught me this shit yet..." which, as a pretest, is true.
LexicanLuthor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pre-tests are a useless, terrible exercise. I'd write "IDK" too.
chazak710 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:26:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading "Caps for Sale" with some 5-year-olds, I asked them why the man in the story had to walk funny, then did my best imitation of what I imagine Queen Elizabeth would look like attempting to cross a balance beam in high heels.
Desired answer: so the pile of hats wouldn't fall off his head
Little girl: "Maybe because he's French?"
Iamshort2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that imagery. Just imagined queen elizabeth at her current age in heels wobbling across a balance beam with stacks of her ridiculous hats on her head
rainbowsun1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:01:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my students to "draw a conclusion" while learning about the scientific method. Student drew me a gorgeous picture depicting a conclusion to the experiment he was describing.
Swiftfire1002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, if they're artistic, I suppose that helps them flourish!
art-rocks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a 4th grade math and science teacher....we were going over Earth's resources. The question was "why is water such an important resource on earth" that is what the text said. One of my 4th graders raises her hand, and plainly, without hesitation says "without water....what would Jesus turn into wine?" I teach in a public school in Florida....I burst out laughing and said..."that is a good question"
Urbanshoe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a chemistry class, "Does anyone know what 'hard water' is?"
Raises hand "...Ice?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. I hate school. That reminds me of when we started learning variables and I asked if X and Y were the same as E=MC2 and basically just got a look of disgust and told no and the class was silent and the teacher went on teaching. I hate small town bumpkin schools.
RockyRiderTheGoat ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:49:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to highschool brats in Argentina. I was teaching the difference between "do" and "make", for they use the same word for both in Spanish.
Me: "You can make a tantrum, but not do a tantrum. "You can do your chores, but not make your chores. "You can make a friend, but not do a friend".
Smart ass: "Wrong! You can always do a friend if you two trust each other"
Alpha3031 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:34 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't people have tantrums any more? They have to manufacture them now?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late, my bad. My dad always tells a story about how his mate at school answered
'explain in full everything you know about William Shakespeare'
with
'I know nothing about William Shakespeare'
100%.
FlyingSquid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm... My dad told me the exact same story about a school mate, except the question was about the Napoleonic Wars... I'm thinking our dads picked up on an urban legend.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:45:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we have the same bullshitting dad. Hey bro.
a7midi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:54:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The assignment was to list 10 negative habits that you want to improve and a student came up with this: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10) Procrastination
He got full marks :)
grandzu ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:23:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explained the difference between a clock and a watch in teaching how to tell time to foreigners. Asked "OK what time is it now"
Student glances at wrist, says "It's 2 o watch"
SouthernJeb ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:34:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First day of school, first year teacher. Giving a spiel to American History class & running through list of things we will discuss while asking the class some questions here and there to gauge level of knowledge.
Me: "For instance, can anyone tell me what the constitution is?"
Soon to be favorite Student: "I believe it is an old wooden ship" In perfect Ron Burgundy voice, as he leans back in his chair and smiles smugly at me
I lost it.
TrueTimmy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:15:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher once asked me "Are you talking back to me?" I responded with "Yes, that is how a conversation works." She just looked at me and didn't say anything.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience in high school. It was a disagreement about a poem or something silly and the teacher did not like that my viewpoint didn't match hers. My response to the "Are you talking back to me?" was: "Either we talk like adults or you need to stop asking people their opinions in case you dislike them." The rest of the class was flabbergasted that a student would speak to a teacher like that. I was a sassy 17 year old haha.
Rosquita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:18:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have said "Stop bein smart."
TrueTimmy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:31:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm at school for! To get smarter.
Rosquita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:35:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I would have said "What an awesome positive attitude to have at school. I'm so proud of you that I'm going to call your family and tell them what you said today. Keep it up!"
TrueTimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's where I get it from. :)
Futurefathers ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:01:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a rather notable smartass comment I made to a teacher in calc-2, years ago.
The teacher was demonstrating some God -awful complicated integral on the board. The entire class was completely lost and sitting in a stunned, half-conciouse silence fearing the day we may have to recreate this monstrosity on a test.
I don't remember the exact problem, but for those who are math people, I remember it having something to do with a "Boomerang" method of integration. It literally took the whole white board.
Anyways, we get to be about 98% through integrating for the constant "w". The professor boldly asks the class for an answer when no one knows what is happening. He turns to the class and asks...
Professor: "So we are left with our equation being equal to "w" over 2, which gives us....?"
Me: "Wouldn't that just be a single "u"?"
There is a long pause before the class and professor slowly comprehend. I left calc-2 feeling intelligent for the first time that day.
Treklow ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 00:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fifth grade teacher and this moment happened this year, January 2017. We start our mornings off with our daily agenda, as well as a riddle or joke at the bottom. We were talking about tectonic plates and fault lines in our current science section so I tried to bring that concept to our riddle/joke. My riddle/joke on the board was "Whose fault would it be, if California fell into the ocean?" The answer I was looking for was 'San Andreas Fault' but when I picked on one of my kids with an extremely concerned face he said, "Donald Trump". +5 for him and his creativity.
Edit: technically wrong, yes. Hilarious? More yes.
Utming ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 02:21:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tectonically wrong*
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:11:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hotel? Trivago.
umopap1sdn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:33:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically wrong? Fracking causes earthquakes (see: Oklahoma) and Trump dislikes government regulation--including of the environment and of energy sourcing, so...
CouchMountain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:15:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fracking causes earthquakes that are almost unidentifiable and not noticeable. They come in the range of <3.0 to less than 4.9. This puts it in the light or minor category with light being extremely rare to occur. You get earthquakes much larger than this daily on the West Coast
I don't want to get into this argument anymore with Reddit but you can find many studies done by Geologists and also most news reports. I looked up the Oklahoma fracking earthquakes and found that they report them at 3.0. A 3.0 is the lowest that can be recorded as an earthquake event for seismologists.
See here from the USGS for more info there's lots of good stuff on that page
If you have questions, ask away and I can try and respond. I don't like arguing but I also don't like uninformed people making statements they don't know enough about.
umopap1sdn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How informed are you about how informed I am? And if you are going to assume an air of being polite and respectful, it is not effective to close with a sentence like that.
(Edited to add: Only 3.0 and unrelated to fracking, you say? Scientific consensus and peer-reviewed data > contrary government agency publications that are conveniently in line with the executive's politics (and economic interest) in the Trump era.)
CouchMountain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:53 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So your link to an NPR article is more credible than a Government Geological and Earthquake study site? Wow.
You realize this website and organization has been around for longer than this "Trump Era" you're speaking of, right?
If that's your excuse then I'm done haha. You're definitely misinformed.
flargenhargen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice try, trump
Finalpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minor earthquakes. We can't do anything on the same order of magnitude as a trillion ton plate of rock suspended on molten magma
timemeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be Hillaryious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd blame the USGS for not figuring out that shit.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:14:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have the money to do so since
FรผhrerPresident Trump started defunded all the Executive Branch offices...[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooray, indoctrinating children.
Treklow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids can have opinions too. I don't teach hate, or how to think and won't deter them from their beliefs. That's not my job. Supporting thought and explaining facts, that's my job. We explained the correct context of which fault we were speaking of, and moved forward. Valiant attempt.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mean that you're indoctrinating children, it's just shitty that kids are bombarded by politics.
hamza__11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's good that kids are bombarded by politics. How are you supposed to vote at 18 when you don't even understand politics or lawmaking.
PM_ME_CONCRETE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don't know that yet. Don't underestimate the Donald.
J1NxxY ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:09:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
MofuckaOfInvention ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:41:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids don't have opinions on the president?
Silverdragon701 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
LilShpeeThatCould ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
sips_beer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:21:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my wife who teaches 9th grade English: "Probably the student who called Abigail from the Crucible a whore."
jacobcj ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:52:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach students with disabilities. I was going over rates, ratios, and proportions and my small group of kids bomb an assignment.
I explained the first problem and a kid said "DUH, ANY IDIOT COUOD HAVE GOTTEN THAT RIGHT."
I asked "Then why didn't ya'll get it right?!?"
Same kid said "cause we're not idiots."
tehlionheart ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:52:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but,
I was working as a counselor at a camp called camp invention. One of the things that the kids did at the camp was called the lab. In the lab they did a bunch of activities that connected back to the theme of the lab for that day. The theme for the lab on this particular day was destruction. The teacher asked what are things that can be used for destruction. She started getting the common answers like dynamite and whatnot. Then one of the smart ass kids raised his hand and said, "Planes." The teacher froze for a second then moved on. The other counselor and I were trying our hardest not to burst out laughing and the kid sat there with the biggest grin on his face. He knew what he said.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught kindergarten. Child's mom was expecting. The boy said "when mom eats the food, the baby is in the tummy and has to catch it. That's how it works!"
Gamer75329 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my auto care class (all about cars) our teacher asked "what does the cooling system do?" (he was looking for things like vents heat and maintains operating temperature.) a guy in the back responded "cools the engine"
danman1835 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:50:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When explaining articles of clothing to my 14 year old Chinese students, I had to explain too big of clothes means loose, while too small of clothes means tight.
He made left hand into a very small "ok" sign, and with his right pointer finger penetrated the ok sign slowly and said "Teacher, it's too tight!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shows you're a good teacher if he caught on that quickly. You should be proud.
username53 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Government class with foreign exchange students. Q: What right is given in the Fifth Amendment? A: I don't have to tell you.
OkieCookie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:52:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I once asked schoolmates to answer a survey:
Q: How do you come to school?
A. By riding a bus B. By riding a bicycle C. By driving D. By walking E. Others:________
Someone picked E and said "with a ready mind and a clean uniform"
hireanseoexpert ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:39:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a maths paper with the question.
Tom and Dave play a game with a six sided spinner. Tom spins the spinner 200 times. these are the results.
1 - 30 2 - 32 3 - 59 4 - 31 5 - 28 6 - 20
Is this fair?
he replied 'No, he didn't let Dave have a go'
SinfullySinless ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:11:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had my students debate the Manifest Destiny to understand how racist thoughts were developed and how Native Americans suffered from this.
At one point one student decided to turn the debate into an analogy about pizza and the class ran with it.
"Just because the Natives gave the new settlers a bit of land doesn't mean they intended for the white people to take over all the land. If I gave you a slice of pizza it was not my intention for you to take the entire pizza, that's just rude!"
I had to explain at the end that Natives didn't willingly hand over land, however they did sign land treaties by force or to protect themselves. So it was right. The pizza analogy made me laugh as the class turned racist thoughts into pizza.
To counter the argument the "racist side" claimed: "well you guys are not effectively eating the pizza! You are letting it sit and rot. We can effectively use the entire pizza so it should be ours".
On the plus side I think I got a lot of kids to think about racism in a whole new light.... through pizza.
GMane2G ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:11:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: it's been ten minutes and you're only six words into your essay!? Student: I'm looking at it more like I'm six words down.
Source: middle school public school teacher
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:41:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catholic school religion class.
Priest: "What's the difference between faith, hope and chastity?"
Me: "How they're spelled."
Not the most creative answer, but it wasn't wrong.
TheStig3136 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:20:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's charity
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard them used interchangeably all through grade school. I don't know why since they're very different things.
calpolymatt ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:50:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught junior high. A boy was sitting at in class and a boy was sniffing the crotch of his gym shorts. Against my better judgement I said, "Jake, stop sniffing your gym shorts!"
He replies, "They're not mine, they are Natalie's" and he point to the girl sitting in front of him.
super_ag ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:10:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't happen to me and not exactly what was asked for, hopefully I'll be forgiven.
My friend's dad, (Mr. D) taught 5th Grade English at a private school in North Dallas. One day, they were doing an assignment out of the book, but one girl (Ms. K) told Mr. D that she left her book at home. No problem, Mr. D loaned her his teacher's edition and resumed the lesson.
They came to part of the exercise where the students are to name three adjectives. Ms. K's hand went straight up, so Mr. D called on her. She said, "Three adjectives are: answers will vary."
SheriffSpooky ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:13:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my statistics class the professor called on a student who was clearly not paying attention and it went like this:
Prof: Is the answer positive or negative, Ben?
Ben: what?
Prof: what's your sign?
Ben: Pisces.
dtjeepcherokee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:13:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In college I was falling asleep in a science class while talking about energy production (oil wind solar...) I was asked "are you falling asleep" I said. "No just conserving energy"
MumumumumumumaskMASK ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my son's doctor when he had his 4 year old check up, asked him to stand on one foot (to check his balance). He paused...walked over to the doctor and stood with both feet on top of her left shoe, while hanging onto her leg for dear life. She was crying she was laughing so hard, and didn't end up making him do the actual test because he did do what he was asked.
Beanchilla ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:24:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't an academic question or anything but I run a social skills class. We were discussing fear one time and I asked everyone to write down what their fears were. One girl wrote "that the afterlife is even more boring than my life is right now."
It cracked me up. I'm a first year teacher and stuff like that surprises me all the time. Makes your day.
Dr-BaconLegs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:26:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I has a relevant story of kind of a backwards situation i was is 7th grade and it was the start of English class and the teacher calls on the kid in the front to pass up the homework to which he replied "I didn't do it". So the teacher asked why, the kid said "my grandmother died yesterday". The teacher with a huge smile on his face says " you could have done it anyway it's not like she's going anywhere right." Kid breaks down crying .. teacher felt like an asshole..
kundkle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:51:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher in Japan, the students were to finish the sentence "I can't stand..." And someone wrote "I can't stand on water"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:55:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hutchipoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the answer?
ultrasax1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be Rhodesia, but that would have to be before the founding of the modern state of Zimbabweโ.
hutchipoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the only one I could think of, but as you point out, not anymore.
freshieststart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saudi Arabia, Leichtenstein, Bolivia, Zwaziland, and a few micronations I guess.
thecrookedcomedian ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:07:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher gave us a riddle. "If you have it, you want to share it, but if you share it you no longer have". The answer was "Secret".
Some smart ass answered "Your Virginity". The best part was the teacher was half deaf, and couldn't hear it after my classmate had yelled it two or three times, so the teacher asked him to write it on the board. Hilarity ensued.
dukofdeath ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:25:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Btw...this is my 16th year of teaching. I have acquired 190 Student Quotes to date and 27 photos of student work such as
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/4i2erc/he_hates_school/
I always share them with my staff through emails under the subject "Student Quote #XXX" (where the x is the current number). My plan was to retire when I reached 365 and then make a day calendar for teachers...
FlyingSquid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:31:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you shared other photos on Reddit? I'd love to see more.
dukofdeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:38:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks squid!
Many are unintentionally nsfw so I haven't (although ironically I share them at work).
dukofdeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:54 on April 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my most recent photo of student work https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/63lzi1/extra_credit_for_selfimage/
FlyingSquid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:54 on April 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, thanks for sharing!
Teacherofmice ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:09:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teacher grade 2 kids about percussion instruments I was describing all the different instruments. We got up to the cowbell, talked about the sound it made then I asked 'why do cows wear cowbells?' Instantly one of the kids blurted out ' because their horns don't work!'
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:32:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so. When I was younger, maybe 5 years old, I thought my dads friend Jason was the cutest guy ever. I asked him to be my valentine and he agreed nicely to play along but my dad jokingly said "he's married you'll break his wifes heart" and I took it seriously and cried telling him I was so sorry and avoided him as much as I could after. I guess he moved or something because he stopped coming by as often. My parents split so time spent with my dad was usually just him and I as well.
Fast foward to freshman year of highschool. First day of p.e. class. The coach is going down the attendance list and half way through he stops, looks up and says "ah, what do you know, little miss valentine is 'FIRST/LAST name', here?" I looked up, really looked at his face to try to understand and suddenly I remembered, crap, that's jason, my now p.e. coach.I was so beyond embarassed. I raised my hand and he just started laughing. For the rest of the year he called me valentine.
ravl13 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:18:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching Assistant for High School History:
"Can someone please explain what caulk is used for?"
Student:
"It's for filling up cracks!"
The kid knew he struck gold, and pretty much made this face:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Blyi-LSIIAA3Uca.jpg
Ssgogo1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk how this is funny? Am i just not getting it.
ScarletNumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on your accent, caulk and cock can sound alike.
ravl13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caulk is used to fill up cracks.
Cock is used to fill up (ass)cracks
shaolinkorean ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:50:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this happened to me. I just moved to the area that summer and I'm a really shy kid so I didn't make any friends when I first moved there.
On the first day of school one of my classes was a typing class. I didn't have a book so when I showed up the teacher asked me "where is your book?"
My reply was "I ain't got no book"
He then says "in English please"
I was a bit confused what he meant so I said it slowly "I ain't got no book"
Again he replies "say it in English!"
So in my best British voice I could muster I said "By George I ain't got no book!"
The whole class laughs.
He said "No no no. What you said was a double negative which means you do have a book. You're supposed to say I have no book"
First day of school people think I'm a class clown. I seriously thought he wanted me to say it in a British accent.
Technically I wasn't wrong no?
Hijatha ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:44:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade my teacher and some other students where having a conversation before class. The teacher asked "How do chickens make eggs then?", regarding who knows what. I interrupted with "They get laid". 8th grade me was very proud of the fact that the entire class burst out laughing.
whatisthatdood ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:55:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My APUSH teacher shared this student-example of what not to do on an FRQ: "The telegraph was one of the most important inventions of the 19th Century or as Samuel Morse would have said " beep beep beep boop beep boop beep beep."
m123771 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:04:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student, My college algebra professor asked if we needed help on any of the HW questions we all blurted out the same question at once, as he wrote on the white board several students told him what to right at one point one student said 2B another student corrected him and said it was in fact 2X. The professor said "is it 2B or not" to which another student responded."so 2b or not 2b is your question"
JumpyyyKO ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:05:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a student who witnessed this:
Teacher on first day of school: "What is history?"
Kid: "A story."
Teacher: "Ok... and who's story is it?"
Kid: "His."
Wingtree7k ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an ESL class, I was doing a 3-hint quiz,
Hint 1. Black Hint 2. White Hint 3. Music
A student answers: Michael Jackson. These were 2nd graders who barely know any English. Answer was piano by the way.
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:16 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He had that song, "no matter if you're black or white".
Rizzpooch ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher, but I still haven't had a very funny answer to any questions yet.
When I was an undergrad, however, I had a prof who would throw random questions at the end of the exams as little bonus point opportunities. One was "Who was Elizabeth Cady Stanton?" I knew that I'd read about her, but I couldn't for the life of me come up with what she was known for. I ended up putting "Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a woman in my history text book" and got full credit. I loved that professor
Hdw333333 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably going to get buried, and not a teacher, but my 2 year old niece was telling us her "opposites" we said,
Q: what's the opposite of down?
A: sky
Q: what's the opposite of light?
A: night
She wasn't wrong, and those were damn impressive correlations for a 2 year old!
Mistikin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:24:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student in science class back in grade 6, all of us where talking about mirrors and why they r reflective with aluminum and shit. So my friend was acting up and throwing paper planes around cuz science class was mad boring. The teacher says " Stop doing that (idk what else this was like 6 years ago), am I clear."
My friend said " No because if you where, I'd see right through you. "
Welp at least he learned something from that class, I surely didn't.
Celina_cue ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:41:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching K-2 girls, yoga:
Me: "Can anyone tell me where your center is?" (looking for someone to point to their belly button)
Kindergartener, spreading legs and pointing at crotch, "here!"
Me, stammering: "um, yes, that is one center..what about the belly button?"
edit: formatting
blightmanly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:48:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question in a junior English class was about the plot line in Romeo and Juliet.
Teacher: Where did Romeo go after his meeting with Friar Laurence? Student: He went to meat Juliet.
BtheDestryr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:54:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP
MeatBald ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:34:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So mad that this won't translate correctly, but here goes: I'm an engineering student in Sweden, and a while back we had a class on building dynamics, calculating forces applied to structures etc. So our professor is french, but mostly fluent in swedish, albeit with a fairly thick accent. He was explaining why steel beams look the way they do (specifically, I-beams). The thinner, middle part of an I-beam is called the "Liv" in swedish, which translates to "Life". The two outer parts are both called the "Flens", which is also a swedish slang word for the gunk that accumulates under one's foreskin if not properly washed. So, the professor explains that the "Liv" is so thin because in most cases, it doesn't need to absorb as much force as the outer "Flens". Long story short, he concluded the lecture by stating what in english would be "Life is pretty much meaningless, but the dick cheese is what's most important!"
You had to be there, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:21:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology: At the end of the test, I had 10 words they needed to explain.
One of them was evolution chain/tree (I don't know the exact translation, famous example is the different evolutions of a horse).
One kid answered: Charmender, Charmeleon, Charizard.
I gave 0.5/1 for that answer, because he misspelled Charmander.
hua8179 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:54:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but:
I asked one of my patients when he was turning 5 years old
"On my birthday"
Svartbomull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's accurate.
Teddybear88 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:39:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In physics A-Level our teacher wanted the formula for resistance.
Teacher: "Resistance is..."
Student: "Futile"
froggyfrogfrog123 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:38:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching 9th grade biology summer school and we were talking about neurons and how they don't regenerate when they are damaged or killed like other cells in your body do. I had this one student who wanted to go by Big Money Sonny, which obviously is what I called him. Big Money wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but tried his best. I told my students that hitting your head in football or a car accident can be very damaging because those brain cells that are damaged won't come back. A light bulb went off in Big Money's head and he raised his hand and said, dead serious, "yeah!! That's true!! My mom dropped me on my head when I was a baby and that's why I'm so dumb!!" I had no idea what to say, because this is likely a true story, but I couldn't be like "that's right Big Money!! Dropping you on your head could make you dumb!", and I also couldn't tell him he's not right, because it was a correct response. Basically the whole class, including Big Money and myself, just cracked up laughing for a good 5 minutes, and my students never forgot that neurons don't regenerate like skin cells do, so thanks Big Money! You're s better teacher than I.
lrx959 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:42:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a social studies teacher and I was going over Islam. Inevitably one student brings up terrorism, so I ask the clarifying question "What is a terrorist?" To which one student replies "isn't that when someone visits another country?"
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jaynesprettyhat12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Been watching far to many cartoons with my kids I read this in Starfires voice.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that. The first one was nomal. The reread was Starfire haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:40 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On that note: Where IS dildo??
_-Muff-N-Stuff-_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:20:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, rather a witness in my sophomore year of high school. My friends were all pretty intelligent, myself included, so many of our classes aligned. During AP Euro one day, we were talking about Austria (unrelated to WWII) & their political structure or something like that during the 1940s. One of my friends, Theo, was born in Italy, speaks 4 languages & is generally a smart dude. Emigrated to the US just a year & a half before this, though, & was always quick to answer & ask questions.
My teacher was explaining something & made the mistake of saying, "Now, in the 40s there was an Austrian who was cooking up some really interesting stuff, and --"
Theo's hand shot up, & without being called upon, he blurted, "Oh! Was it Hitler?" in complete, genuine seriousness.
I legitimately cried.
Staminix ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:23:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unsure how true this is, but I had an English teacher that told me that when she was studying Philosophy they had a question in an exam that asked "Define bravery" to which one of her friends answered "This" and left the room.
jovemarie ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:37:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story I was told, also unsure of value of validity: my cousin took philosophy in college. Studied for a straight month for the final exam. Got the exam, it was one question: "Why?"
He looked around and everyone was writing feverishly. He got pissed he studied so long for no reason, wrote "Why the fuck not?" On the test and walked out.
The only correct answers were 'why not?' and 'because'. He got a bonus point for still getting it right through frustration (obvious by his vulgarity haha).
terminalvelocit3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That prof, man...
IlliniOneSeven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
devilish
ScarletNumbers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:28:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
Hwaryeon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:29:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine answered a question during our class' Science reviewโ
Teacher: What would you call a dead star?
Friend: John Lennon?
She got half credit, I'm still so proud.
SA_Swiss ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:20:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late to this one. I am not a teacher, but I think this is technically correct.
When I was in high school (around 16 years old) the teacher threatened us with failing the exam if we continue to not complete our daily homework.
At the end of the threat, she stated "Who laughs last, laughs best". I responded without thinking "Who laughs last is a bit slow in catching the joke"
Got sent to detention for that one.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:54:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walked into home room late and the teacher asked "why were you late?" And I turned slowly and said "because the bell rung before I got here" and everyone started to snicker and the teacher stared at me for a second and said "touchรฉ, that won't work twice sit down." For better or worse one of my prouder moments in high school.
ScarletNumbers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:20:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
KbhRS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:40:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In between what civilizations did the Roman Empire exist?" "Mesopotamia and America"
XXX69694206969XXX ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So in sophomore year of high school we were studying apartheid in South Africa. One day we had a whole bunch of reading assigned and I decided not to do it. Like it was sophomore year I had chicks to not be banging I couldn't waste my time reading about South Africa. So I come into class the next day and surprise we have a pop quiz. But this is an oral pop quiz and the teacher just asks each student one question and you either pass or fail. Many of my fellows had also elected to skip the reading so they began to fail at answering the questions. When it came to my turn the teacher was kinda mad that nobody had done the reading. So he points to me and asks "What was the cause of the Soweto Uprising?" and I look back at him and without a second's hesitation I'm like "Apartheid". He stares at me for 5 seconds and then is like "Ya I guess." Best Quiz Ever. Sucks to suck everyone else in that class.
theskepticalsquid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:47:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before and it's hard to explain but I'll try.
I teach dance and in my preschool class we sing songs with motions, dance tap and ballet. In our song we sang "shuffle off to buffalo!" And I had the kids point to the side for the motion.
So one day my boss comes in to see how the class is going and she asks the girls to do a shuffle (basic tap move). Well one of my girls points go the side like how we do for "shuffle off to buffalo"
It took me a bit to stop laughing after that and my boss was so confused haha
Zaluiha ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:50:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walking my 7 and 9 year olds home from the bus. I asked the younger on how his day was. He replied "I've got fucking homework". I said to him that "fucking"'was not a very good word to use and could cause him problems in certain situations. He looked at his older brother and said " you told me I could say that word anytime". At that point the 9 year old started running and laughing.
I_HATE_AUTHORITY ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:32:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher.
Back in A Level Spanish class in the UK, the teacher asked us "What's the Spanish word for 'bird'??"
I instantly responded "Chica", without really thinking.
rumor33 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might have just been me, but once I was asking a group of 1st and 2nd graders things youll find in the desert
1st kid "A catus!" Me "Absolutely, great example! Anyone else? Joey?" 2nd kid "cacti"
He said it so smooth and with so much confidence. It also struck me funny that he pluralized it correctly but still had no idea what was going on.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:03:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my geometry class, I asked students to name the shapes on the paper. I got one kid turning in a paper full of things like "John Halloway" and "Mr. Grumpcakes". Technically, he named them.
timecrash2001 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:10:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came to this thread hoping to hear about Kevin.
Reference - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/
tokorona ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:19:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calvin has the best one.
http://imgur.com/gallery/3lH5C
Ishkikababa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:28:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a math test, I wrote the correct answer but couldn't figure out how to show how I got it where it said "explain" so I just wrote "DIVINE INSPIRATION" with a doodle of a crystal ball and got full credit.
G1bs0nNZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"technically wasn't wrong", depends if you believe in a divine power.
Jimjbrettj ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my world history class the teacher asked what a monarch was. A girl in the back of the room raised her hand real high and said, "a butterfly"
TheGentlemanK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:54:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't intentionally a question, nor was I looking for an answer but one time one of my kids was struggling with a new conversation (English tutoring), and I said reassuringly, "okay Ronnie, can you say 'it's a computer'." He stared at me wide eyed and just said: "No." It was such a cute moment I had to laugh.
waterwings91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a question you can get wrong, but in one of my classes we were going around the room introducing the person sitting next you. You had to give their name and something interesting about them.
This girl is sitting next to some guy that's really into cars, and when its her turn to introduce him she goes:
"This is (insert name), and he has an STI."
Entire class proceeds to laugh while the guy buries his face in his hands.
The girl had no idea what she said...
assuming123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:09:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but sometimes we were the ones to grade our classmates homework. Think of it like the teacher explains the answers while we correct whoevers paper we get.
One of the questions was a math problem. We had to solve it and write the answers in a table. My friend who though extremely smart was also a bit of an airhead. He drew a coffee table and proceeded to write his answers in it.
Aduadu1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:31:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an ESL teacher and I was playing 20 questions about celebrities in my class. One of the students had Michael Jackson and was asked whether the person was black. The student answering thought about it for a second before answering "kinda..."
aragorn-1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:11:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but I taught in a very small school in England. One lesson I was working with reception (4-5yo) and there are 6 of them so quite a big year group for the school. I asked them to be creative with 2d shapes in the outside patio area. I looked out and saw one of the boys chasing another one with his trousers down. Turns out he had put a 2D triangle between his bum cheeks and was being a shark. I suppose he did as he was asked...
prolixdreams ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:27:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching 3-year-olds vocabulary about space. Get to helmet. Show a picture. Class, why do astronauts wear helmets?
"There are no hospitals in space!"
Pikachu_91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:25:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waay too late, but: I was talking about pregnancy to a class. The mother gives the foetus oxygen and nutrients through the umbilical cord. So I asked what the mother gets in return, meaning CO2 and the molecules the baby produces as waste. I completely lost it when a student answered: "love".
nntaylor7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:37:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's 9 times 5". "Ughhh.... at least 40?"
TehPurpleMenace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That's exactly correct! 9 times 5 IS at least 40! Get on up here!"
B00YAY ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:02:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking WWI stalemate. Kids had to design a weapon of war that would end the stalemate and allow for an Allied victory.
Girl walks up, turns in a blank piece of paper. "I'm finished!" she says. Well, no, you need to do the assignment. Very funny. "Flip it over, she says." I do. Title of Invention: "INVISIBLE SHIELD."
Damnit.
StableSystem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:07:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting a white flag of surrender
272Voidwalker272 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a teacher asked me once was the wost thing to do to a grease fire and I answered "Throw a baby at it".
DankUrMomsGF ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 23:27:10 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 3-4 years old my father asked me if I could name an animal that was a predator. I answered "rabbit". Dad: "No that is not a predator". Me: " ohh no that's right. They're muslims" (The rabbits)
Well we dont know for sure that rabbits are not.
NimegaGunner ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:49:52 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who are muslims? The rabbits?
Raaava ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:58:59 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the joke was, rabbits was confused with "Rabbi" which is a Jewish version of priest and confused it again, thinking Rabbis are Muslim when they are Jewish. Maybe...
JustinJamm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the kid made a link between "predator" and "predator drones"....and somehow had heard something about drones killing people in predominantly Muslim areas. That kind of mental leap happens.
NimegaGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh... Right.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:26:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this like "do dogs go to heaven?" Can rabbits be muslims?
ScarFace88FG ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently your father has never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
kjata ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:32:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they believe in Frith.
InsaneDane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The predators are mostly catholic.
Mporte9 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:20:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I still remember my father telling me that he took a psychology class during his short time in college. The final exam was one question...the professor put a chair in the middle of the room and asked the class to convince him/her the chair was not there. After watching his classmates start filling out paragraph after paragraph, my father who was already dropping out wrote "what chair?", and walked out. He received an A ok the final.
freshieststart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it a class about gaslighting? Because if so, he ain't wrong.
ScarletNumbers ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
NapkinTheif ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:57:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have two stories from when I was a student in college and I got into a kurfuffle with professers over my "technically correct" answers... twice!
The first was Tax Accounting. We were supposed to have read a chapter the say before and then had a "pop quiz" on it during class. I was bored while studying and the fine print usually had something amusing to say. In this instance there was a note that some obscure tax rate was randomly different for ONE year. Turns out there was a question on the quiz about it. The professor put the answers on the board for three whole class after and when it came to this one his answer was wrong. He was a 1st year professor. I was the only one to notice. He opened the book and said, "I'll be damned... Well everyone can have that one for free then!" Kinda bullshit.
The second time was a Finance professor who told us on the first day of class to "think outside the box." On the Final Exam there was a bonus question. The question said, "Your aunt left you with 50 shares of stock XYZ and an extra $50 that you must invest in one of the stocks listed below for 1-year. How would you spend the money to get the most guaranteed return? You HAVE to spend the money." There was maybe 10 other stocks listed (including XYZ) with detailed information. It was ended to be a long/difficult problem bc you'd have to manually calculate the Beta for each and bla bla - it was also a long test and there was no practical way to have enough time. You were also required to show your work for credit.
So, instead, I found a loophole. I said that I would put a "collar" on stock XYZ (combination of buying/selling Put and Call Options). I would make the purchase first then the sale for the same amount meaning I was GUARANTEED to get my original investment back. We learned about the "collar" as a theory with no practical application, but it worked perfectly here and satisfied the requirements. I went to his office hours to ask if I had gotten credit for my answer. He told me that he'd never seen anyone get it right in nearly 20 years and that he'd never considered my answer. Said it wasn't the answer be wanted. I responded that regardless of what answer he wanted mine was better because it had an absolute guaranteed return - it was risk free, and no other strategy could do that!
IncidentOn57thStreet ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:08:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher, waiting for class to arrive from lunch: "Is anyone else still missing?"
Comedic genius: "Madeline McCann"
olympic_gem ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but our teacher always has a "My favorite mistakes" page after a test that's anonymous. Anyways, the test asked: What happened at the end of 1942? His answer: The start of 1943
wrestleastavaganza2 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make both sides equal (Remember what you do to one side you have to do to the other)
3x+6 = 6y - 7
Times both sides by 0... 0=0
foolface99 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a true/false question on a Spanish exam I gave. It was about some dystopian story we read that took place in Uruguay. The question asked whether Uruguay was a "pacรญfico" place in the story, which in Spanish means "peaceful", but the student responded "false" and wrote that Uruguay is an "atlรกntico" place.
kisordog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:12:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to a fellow student during an oral exam on bird anatomy. He was struggling with the answers the whole time, and when he got to the last part, which was identifying different species by their feet, it got really painful, he did not get even one right. So he got failed. Angry and regretful, he went out the door and was just about to close it behind him, when the teacher called to him, 'What was your name again?' He paused for a second, and then, without saying a word, pushed one of his feet back inside for the teacher to see.
sparkchaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
motorheadavcn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:02:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching an undergrad Stats class, I asked: what makes the normal curve interesting.
Answer: Because it tells us that what goes up comes down.
daisyletgo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:19:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student told me a "piece" of evidence is "just a piece. Like. A smidgen of evidence."
sinoatrialtoad ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:43:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade Biology quiz - there was a question about an amoeba with a contractile vacuole, and how it pumps out water so it doesn't swell with water and burst. The students were asked to explain why, in solution X, the amoeba doesn't contract any more.
The correct answers explained that solution X was isotonic to the amoeba's cytosol, and therefore there was no influx of water into the cell.
One kid stated that solution X was hydrochloric acid and had killed the amoeba. I gave her the mark.
arsmith531 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:44:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question on the test was "What happened to the main character in the story?" answer: He got scrood. Not at all an appropriate answer from a second grader but I had the hardest time keeping a straight face when I gave him the opportunity to correct it.
WarpedPerspectiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drivers Ed. What kind of car crash is the deadliest? A fatal one.
barefoot_contessa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:05:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently scoring a test on algebraic equations. The question required students to justify their mathematical problem-solving steps, and one student wrote "because math."
throwawaytodayokc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:10:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was facilitating a healthy foods class with kids. We tossed a beach ball with various pictures of food on it. Whatever food your pinky landed on, you had to talk about your favorite way to eat it.
A kid got the ball, and his food was broccoli.
I asked, "How do like to eat broccoli?"
He said, "On a plate."
operasinger000 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of a lesson, one student blurted out "I know what sperm means!" I am in shock as these words were coming out of a grade 1 student. And then the student continues "It means when a boy says I LOVE YOU!!"
oozinator1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:04:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my youth and naivete, I may have spermed prematurely on a few occasions.
piemag_98 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:08:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was a student. One day in High School when not many kids had turned up or there was some other event happening, the teachers were letting us watch movies or just have free time to do nothing. In Bio we were discussing the topic flowers and how they produce scent when they are "mating" or such. I was a quiet kid who only hung out in one or two groups so not many people knew of my sense of humour or what I was like to be around. I managed to come out with "So we're basically smelling horny flowers". The teacher awkwardly confirmed and the couple of my friends in the class laughed while other kids stared in shock that I'd said something like that.
ButtPoopButts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:15:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was in grade 1 or 2, I was late to class for whatever reason and missed the writing assignment. So I was taken aside give a pencil and book and told to write down how I would make my perfect sandwich, but I heard it as Sand Witch, lived near the beach, made lots of sand castles and such as a kid, so I didn't think twice about it.
So I write things like seaweed for the hair shells for the eyes and maybe an old stick for the nose. My teachers read it and had a good laugh, o felt pretty dumb for awhile after that but looking back I would have laughed at me too.
CH0AM_N0MSKY ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:23:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this from a friend, so the details may be off.
When he was in high school, his history teacher gave the class an assignment to write a letter as if they were a civil war soldier during a battle. My friend wrote half of a letter, drew a rough line across the page, stomped on the page a few times, and poured some red ink from a pen on the page and turned it in. The teacher asked why he did that, and he replied "he got shot because he was writing a letter in the middle of a battle."
Apparently the teacher loved it, so she gave him full credit and hung it on the wall.
Artaxian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:55:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but witnessed this in a class.
Highschool science teacher was asking the class how we could make the classroom more green (environmentally), the class was silent for a good two seconds until this one guy said, "We could paint it!"
He was riding that wave the whole day after that.
plaid_cloud ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:02:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fifth grade we were reading a story aloud. My part of the story had something about an impatient doctor.
I stopped and said "How can he be a doctor if he doesn't have any patients?"
I felt pretty smug about that one.
Cockrocker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late but the most common dumb answer is when I write a question like "do you know the rhyme used to remember the notes on the line of the treble clef?" And more than half the class just answers yes,
alythegreat29 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:05:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once, my english teacher asked us how to read poetry. My friend, without skipping a beat, replied "From left to right."
New_Shoes_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:20:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a Math professor once showed the computer lab an error in approach that happened to get the correct answer. I can't remember the exact problem but it was similar to this:
Reduce the fraction to lowest terms
16/64 -> 1
6/64 -> 1/4e_la_bron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:57:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the dumb ass who said this
English professor: (Rhetorical question to class) "If I were to tell a class they had to write an essay, what's the first thing they're going to say?"
Me: "Ugh, no."
Prof: "Well I was going to say 'What's the topic' but you're probably right".
He hates me.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:03:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching ESL in Morocco: "Students, be good, behave!" Students: "Miss, we're BEING have!!!"
proudpablo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What has 4 legs but is not living?" "A dead animal?"
elainemarieseinfeld ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:40:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" but one of my best friends throughout high school. She never did well, but was hilarious and teachers loved her.
"AM, do not sit on the desk. Sit on your chair!"
AM proceeds to put her chair on her desk, then sits on the chair. Teacher could not contain herself and the entire class ends up on the floor in stitches.
Unfortunately she died in a car accident the year after graduating. During our once a year get together, my high school friends reminisce about this and all that other times she has us in hysterics. Life is cruel, man.
ms121e39 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that escalated quickly..
elainemarieseinfeld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. She was my first friend when I moved to high school. I had moved from another town, and first break of the first day, there were two girls walking around where I was sitting, reading, pretending not to care I didn't have any friends.
First girl finally says, "Would you like to play with us?" AM punches her full in the arm at this. First girl looks at her, sighs, and says, "Ok, would you like to HANG OUT with us then." AM was satisfied. And that's how she became my friend. Girl could give me a dead leg like no other.
And in Year 12 convinced our mutual bestie that the dead bird she found on the side of the road was just a realistic toy, allowing her to carry it around all day, and even let other class mates touch it and put it in their mouths. If anyone from my high school class reads this, they'll know who I'm talking about!
The stories go on and on. But she'll always be in my heart.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:57:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was not prepared. My condolences.
elainemarieseinfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. My friends and I were actually reprimanded for laughing so loud at her open casket viewing (only a few select people were there), remembering how crazy she was. Her mum didn't mind, but the funeral home people couldn't understand. Friends like that are one in a lifetime!
__Smaug__ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:23:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student in a German lesson gave the wrong gender to go with the German word for "door". The teacher corrected them. The student said, "Why isn't the gender for door male, it's got a knob!".
CavalierTunes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:39:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student. I'll admit, I was in college at the time. My answers was genuine.
The professor was trying to make a point about stereotypes and assumptions. She said, "We generally make assumptions about people. For example, many people generally consider people from Brazil to be Spanish. But actually, they areโฆ?"
I raised my hand and answered "Brazilian."
The answer she was looking for was "Portuguese."
Diegovelasco45 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:09:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mistook nationality for language. Brazilian people speak Portuguese, but they still Brazilian
Jediguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student - Highschool physics teacher liked to tailor questions to each class to include classmates names and things into the scenario. One was if myself and two friends threw an Xbox off the roof of an X ft high building how fast would the Nintendo be going when it hit the ground? I answered that it'd still be inside since we threw an Xbox off the roof. He gave me credit for it.
btao ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me=Student
Sophomore year of college in my critical writing course with a teacher that was old, out of date, and believed only her way was correct, and wouldn't consider any other arguments. This was critical writing mind you, where that's almost the point. I've had straight As in every English class I've ever taken. I love language, writing and .... critical thinking. I've struggled with this class, getting B's and C's, despite putting some of my best work out there to triumph over her unforgiving nature and methods.
For our final paper, confident in my abilities, she let us boldly pick a topic highlighting why critical thinking is important in writing with no page limit. Well, I was fed up, and in my boldest scholastic move, I wrote a paper well over 50 pages long, analyzing each assignment, my argument, and why the teacher's grading and analysis were weak, incomplete, showed a lack of understanding of the principles of the material, and described every way she was wrong and a bad teacher.
Well, she gave me an F, which meant I failed the class, so I filed an appeal. I presented everything in front of a panel, and sat there while everyone read everything, presented all my assignments to support it along with my argument.
I received an A for the class, with a number of accolades, but my adviser told me point blank to never do that again, and not to tell anyone. To ice the cake, the teacher was fired the following week, which explained the request.
bmcf1lm ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:27:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teach but rather the student. In 6th grade we had these math books with a bunch of stupid questions in them as far as logic goes. The most memorable one was "Mr. Jones leaves his car running in his garage overnight. The car burns approximately .3 gallons of gas per hour. If he sleeps from 9pm to 8am and the price of gas is $1.25 per gallon. How much gas has he wasted?" My response: "It doesn't matter how much gas his car will burn as he will have died of carbon dioxide poisoning before he wakes up." Somehow, I actually got it right.
Sammiesam123988 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:15 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carbon monoxide.
bmcf1lm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:58:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is what I initially thought but questioned myself for some reason. The worst part is, I'm a car guy, I should know this.
softeky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:01:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son was asked by his teacher "What is the difference between a stove and a fridge". My son replied "The stove does not get cold and the fridge does not get hot".
The teacher used this as an example of my son's odd thought processeses . The teacher wanted to discourage my son's reasoning. I know my son better and asked the teacher if she thought her preferred answer was still accurate - if the power was out.
My son is 5. He would like his teacher to think "Out of the Box", stove, or fridge for that matter.
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:05 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What was the "correct" answer?
softeky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:21 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A stove does not get cold... it does not always get hot (not being used, power out, broken, etc.) A fridge does not get hot... it does not always get cold (power off or broken etc.)
The 5 year old's answer is more often correct than the expected answer.
txgingersnap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:41:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Find the integer. Q: square root of 144 Student's answer: 144 Me: your saying the square root of 144 is 144? Student: no. They said find the integer. Me: you're supposed to solve it not just erase the square root sign. Samuel: It says find not solve
misterkro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:01:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Discussing different economic models in different countries, and we get to Sweden's quasi-democratic socialist system.
"What do you think of the Swedish model?" "She's hot."
whorerific ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But in my high school biology class the teacher asked "what can help fertilize land?" (Not the exact wording of the question but can't remember word for word)
Kid yells "Mexicans!"
The two Mexican kids in the class had some words for him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, they could.
MattinglyDineen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:11:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach pre-kindergarten. We were doing a unit on the five senses and I was reviewing the senses with the kids, so I ask them questions like "What part of your body sees?" and "What part of your body tastes?" I then ask them "What part of your body smells?" and one little boy responds with "Your butt!" Well, technically, he was correct.
FastLaneOnly ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach kindergarten. One week we were studying the letter P and as a class we were creating a word web of words that began with p. We'd come up with lots of great words like "pop", "petunia", "pickles", etc until I called one of my little pals that had been waiting so patiently. When I called on him, he quite loudly stated that "pu$$y started with P". I just sat there dumbfounded for a second and thought for sure I had misheard him or something and just responded with "what?" One little girl piped up, "I think he said pussycat" and my friend quiet adamantly responds with "No, I didn't! I said pu$$y. Like 'Thomas the Train is a real pu$$y."
I quickly wrapped up the lesson after that.
mike_baxter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he pronounce the dollar signs? ;)
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:10 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a real pu-dollar-dollary.
MightyDMan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:38:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. More like a TA for a middle school class. Also technically not an answer. But worth mentioning.
I was helping a group of students develop a marketing pitch for a persuasive essay assignment. We were talking about nut by-products. We go over nutella, almond butter, almond milk, etc. One of the kids goes, "How can almonds have milk? They don't even have nipples." I died.
Gomets51 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:53:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a test I asked "What are 3 factors that led to the rise of slavery in the South?"
Student answer: 1. White People 2. White People 3. White People
cragkonk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im too late probably but theres a math question: jane has 3 english books and 4 chinese books, how many books does she have altogether?
In place of proper number sentences, kid drew 4 chinese books and 3 english books, with titles, details and all, circled them and wrote 7 at the answer line.
Glori_Hamilton ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:34:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with kids, part of my job is best described as tutoring. And I work with two kids at once. One of the children had to write sentences on what he enjoys doing that does not involve electronics. I was trying to help him think of things to help him: going for a walk, reading a book, playing ball, drawing and so on. At one point I asked his partner, who is 5, if he had any ideas. He responded with, "I like wearing a shirt."
vip3r79 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My niece had the following on a worksheet: You smell smoke, what does that tell you? Her answer: My dad is cooking something.
Note: Her dad always does the grilling.
dronekingMN ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:22:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my first graders a deliberately tricky math problem. No one could solve it. One very sharp girl, Niki, gave what appeared to be the obvious answer, but was wrong.
I asked Mrs. Nelson, the aide in the room, if she thought Niki was right. She smiled and said, "No!"
Hoping to get them problem-solving and thinking deeply, I asked the class: "Why doesn't Mrs. Nelson agree with Niki?"
Another girl sheepishly raised her hand and said, timidly: "Because she's not very smart?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EFL teacher. Word formation exercise.
"Don't be afraid of the dog. He's really _______." (HARM)
Expected word was harmless. Student wrote harmonic.
Selphie12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:43:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but i once had to do a jobs course for unemployment. The teacher asked us to name an establishment as an example.
No one could think of one, so on a whim I said "O'Reillys". She asked me where that was and what kind of business was it.
i replied "We live in Ireland. Every corner on every street has a butcher, barber or pub named O'Reillys."
She wasn't very amused.
tigerliiy13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:46:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After reading The Odyssey: "What did Odysseus learn from his 20 year journey" Answer: "To stay home" ....I bet he did.
snow_gunner ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked the question "Who benefitted least from the fur trade?"
Student: "The animals?"
... You've got me there!
uusuzanne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
University intro astronomy class. We were doing a chapter on extraterrestrial life. I put a question on the quiz: Name a place in the solar system where we might find life.
Student's answer: Earth.
Va1kyria ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:51:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
High school math teacher, but I do private math tutoring on the side for students not enrolled at my school (conflict of interest).
I'm at a student's house and he's working through a problem his teacher assigned. At one point he makes a mistake and I point out, "Oops, there's supposed to be an x there." He mutters, "Ugh, there's always an x." He was about to carry on with his work, but his mom who was next to us chopping vegetables starts laughing her ass off. It's not even that funny but her laugh is infectious and soon all three of are laughing at math.
ElGuapo73 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I instructed my writing students to write their essays on only one side of the paper. One student wrote her entire essay on the left side. No points deducted.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:10:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our teacher gave us a quiz and this was one of the questions
My answer
I didn't know and BSed it and was surprised the teacher didn't mark it wrong. But I guess I technically was correct.
raccoon_kicker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:16:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was grading a problem about a rocket with too much fuel on board to reach orbit. The solution to the problem was to remove some of the excess fuel before launch, but one student suggested that the rocket could be given a nonzero initial velocity.
AyCeeAreyy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:20:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesn't answer the question, but I guess it's kinda similar and I love this story
My sophomore year back in high school I didn't do my homework, but the kid next to me - we will call him john- did do his homework.
I asked if I could see it and he said I didn't have a enough time to copy it so I took his paper and next his name I put mine so it looked like this "Name: John & Jim"
So the next day we get the paper back and our teacher wrote 'sly' on the paper and gave both if us the grade. What a true friend haha.
sawihsiwi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former camp counselor here. Asked a camper if he was ticklish? Answered: No, I'm Jewish.
farmermike79 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:40:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
teaching English to a bunch of 6 year olds. i tried to elicit the word "socks" from one kid and he could not figure it out. so i said, "there's one on the left, one on the right, and they are smelly." The kid immediately pointed at his crotch and said, "this?"
haroon0071 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:40:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Early primary school biology test. What is a name for a male cow? Answer: Bruce
pianothefish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:48:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend's sister had the question "What is the biggest bridge you've crossed in life?" on a psychology exam and she wrote the Tacony-Palmyra bridge. To be fair, it was probably the biggest one she physically crossed!
Oso_oscuro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked my middle school students to write one health goal they have for their Do Now last week.
An obese girl wrote, "I want to gain more weight to be on My 600-lb Life."
GaimanitePkat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:21 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Body positivity!
drsamwise503 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:51:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only went to school for 4th-5th grade, and then high school (was home schooled the rest). Apparently, in elementary school, you are assigned a number. This is just a tally number out of the total kids in your grade, for easy identification while grading.
Well, I was never told this, nor was I told my number. So in 4th grade, when it asked for my number on the assignments, I wrote my home phone number on it.
Nobody corrected me for the whole year.
nealius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quickie!
catfroman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I dumb for not being ablw to think of the real answer? Been thinking for 3 solid minutes.
Quickly- adverb
Quickest - adjective
Quicker - adjective
MrLimeLyte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quickness :)
Faaln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quickness.
catfroman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herp derp. Drugs are bad, kids
kittykabooom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quicken?
djinnisequoia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a verb. Unless you mean the old software program. "quickening" is a noun, but I don't think it's the one they were looking for.
Shurdus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard from my physics teacher he liked an answer I gave in a mechanics exam. He always said that if we gave a weird answer, he would read the question again and if he worded it poorly, we would get points. He made a question where he described a complicated mechanics setup. First question was 'make a drawing'. I drew a sun, house and flower. Got a laugh rather than points.
mintei ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:58:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First grade reading comprehension from 2 days ago.
Q: Why do you think humpback whales sing?
A: "read the stoy."
mizuhmanduh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 7, I remember there being a few days where we were learning about bears in honor of the upcoming Teddy Bear Picnic. One day, when we had a substitute teacher, she gave us a short fill in the blank quiz, and one of the questions was something like "Which bear isn't a real bear?" I wrote in "Winnie the Pooh." I think I remember this moment in my life solely because of how tickled she was. She laughed for what felt like a few minutes. The correct answer was "Panda Bear." On a side note it has been years since I heard that term. People have just been calling them pandas for a while now.
rattatatouille ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:54:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Pandas ARE bears
panthera213 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:02:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was when a kid answered "wear a condom" to almost every question on a human reproduction unit test. He actually got an answer correct!
Gedunk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th grade biology, we were doing a photosynthesis lab and the students had to write how this information could be applicable outside of the classroom. One of my students wrote "If someone held a gun to my head and asked 'What is photosynthesis?' I would not die because I knew". She's not wrong lol
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:10:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but one time we were learning something in math class and the teacher had an example on the board and said "how did we end up with 342?" A kid rose his hand and said "math"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student in Kindergarten who wrote a hilarious answer. The question was: What has a head and a tail but no legs? The answer was a coin, but he answered: A sperm cell.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:17:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had quizzes each week in one of my histroy classes where it was a map and with numbers and we had to give the name of the city with regard to the number. For each one I didn't know I would just write "refer to atlas"
cocoshabang31 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:20:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my mum told me a story when she was in grade 3 and she was asked to say a word that is made up of two words (eg. Pineapple) and she just straight up said country
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt reeeeee!
Sudden_Turtle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:20:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked the class what a Producer was (in economic terms). One kid answered "something that makes its own food"
Skaryon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher once dragger us to a theater play. I fell asleep early on and no one bothered to wake me up. Afterwards she proclaimed that we had to write a review and she would grade it. I simply critiqued the few bits I saw and concluded that it was bad since it couldn't keep me awake. She accepted and gave me a good grade.
VoltaX90 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:24:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid who was in my class started eating while the teacher was giving his lesson. When asked as to why she was eating, she responded, "I'm hungry." The teacher shrugged and continued on with his lesson.
Jake0024 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
T: "How can you identify a mammal?"
S: "Nipples"
sephstorm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student.
We were reading The Man who was Almost a Man in English class. We were told to finish the story which ends with Dave jumping on a train. The teacher expected a page, maybe a few sentences ending the story.
Me and my buddy ended up both writing 10+ pages of story where Dave entered a time warp, became a WWE Wrestler and wrestled for the world title all while still in the olden days. He wrestled in Madison Cube Garden and we pulled in our teachers from the school into the story in their alternate personas. Our World History teacher became a mix of a preacher and Kane, he was the World Champion and would force people to confess, after which he would Chokeslam them to Hell. somehow he had the Chinese serving him. Our English teacher who assigned us the paper became his apprentice, ect.
Anyway I think mine was over 10 pages, my buddy wrote something like 20.
In both of our stories, Dave wins one match with no experience, gets hired by the CEO, immediately gets challenged by the World Champion, somehow ends up at WrestleMania where he wins the Title and hugs his dad.
Anyway we turn this into our teacher who as you can imagine is like wtf is this? He actually graded the papers and returned them with corrections and questions of course about how the heck stuff was going on which we excused through the time warp we never specifically wrote into the story.
Greatest thing ever.
pericardiyum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught English in Korea "Eugene! No Korean in class" "But teacher I'm not speaking the Korean, I'm speaking the Chinese!"
BlackRockKitty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I taught English as a foreign language in Thailand. My class of 50 (yes really!) 7th grade students was particularly chatty one day in the middle of my lesson. Like my former teachers, I said to them "...are you done?" But it got lost in translation and they very adorably replied with "yes, teacher! :)" as if I were politely asking if they had finished so I may continue.
I thought it was funny but had to keep a stern face.
pmwws ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:40:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was asked who was the first one in the air at pearl harbor and I responded with "the Japanese"
gamageeknerd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once told a teacher in 3rd grade that a tree was a non vertebrate living organism. I was put in special classes the next day and removed from them a week later
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Special ed or special advanced? The difference is crucial cause I red it as special ed.....and was mad for you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's misconduct.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:55:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An essay prompt asked, "Who is an important figure worth studying in school? Why should we study this person?"
My student proceeded to write an essay on Kevin, her crush, and why he was so interesting, funny, caring, etc. IMO, beat out the essays arguing we should study MLK because he "freed the spaces." Not joking.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to love those prompts. Once got 4x normal points for writing half a page on why we should change the american flag to orange yellow and I think green.
SlipperMisfit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:03:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English Teacher here. This was a sentence in a short essay question, "Dr. Frankenstien went to collage to learn how to make a man or of pieces". Collage, where else? Priceless.
overactor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:09:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 15 years old we had sex ed in school. At one point, the teacher put up a drawing of the female reproductive system with some key parts marked with a number and asked us if we could name some of the marked parts.
One guy immediately raised his hand and without even waiting for the teacher to acknowledge him, blurted out: "twelve, anus!".
solaceFromSolitude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crying tears of laughter here. Instant meme.
overactor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, he had that one shouted at him for years after.
Derantol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:15:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class that was about Native American history and culture and related stuff, and we were talking about how disease ravaged the populations as European colonists expanded across the country. Syphilis was apparently treated with mercury at the time, and the symptoms of syphilis are roughly the same as the symptoms of mercury poisoning, apparently. Predictably, this didn't end well for the native Americans. The professor ended that portion of the lecture with the statement, "The late eighteen-hundreds was not a good time to get syphilis."
The wise guy in the back of the room said, with perfect delivery, "I don't think any time is a good time to get syphilis."
giffer44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:25:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In AP English during high school, my teacher was explaining metonymy and said, "Not to be confused with monotony. Which is?" And I said, "Sex with one person." To which he responded "That's monogamy. Which can also be monotonous." Then laughed hysterically and interrupted the freshman English class next door to tell that teacher.
A-A-V-E ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
" oh you want to act up in class? Come up here and say the pledge of allegiance twice."
I I Pledge pledge Allegiance allegiance To to The the...
This is a second hand story but what a damn smart ass...
amjadpass ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:20:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the but the student.
In 8th grade during the computer class the teacher passed by me.
Her:did you backup your work ?
Me:no I forgot, I will backup it today.
Her:you should have backed up it yesterday.
Me:I will backup the work today.
Her:you should have backed up it yesterday.
Me:isn't today the yesterday of tomorrow ? I will backup it today.
GoochMcGrundle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:20:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While reading a book out loud for the class, the kid came across the word "grotesqueness", stumbled, and blurted out "grow testicles"
slicktrick_ecksdee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taught a girl about fractions, comparing fractions with different numerators and denominators etc. the quiz asks something like "which would give you the better slice of cake?" Girl answers all the smallest fractions, says she HATES cake.
HardByteUK ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:27:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Autistic student, we'll call him Paul.
Me: Paul where's your assignment?
Paul: I haven't done it yet.
Me: That's the wrong answer.
Paul: No it's the right answer even if it's not the one you want.
GG.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:31:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When i was in high school back then, the teacher, suspecting i copied my seatmate's answer, asked me: " Tom, why are you and Harry have the same answer, almost word for word..?" Me: " Well, Ma'am, you have the same question for all of us."
mhuntingt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:51:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching in a secondary school, boy student comes up to me and says:
Boy "Sir. She just called me an idiot sir". Me "well if you can spell it, it isn't true" Boy "what!?" Me "i said if you can spell it then it isn't true" Boy "i-d-i-o-t" Me "well then, it isn't true" Boy "what!?"
All the while the girl is pissing herself laughing.
Finally
Boy "ahhh! That was pretty good sir"
So he wasn't wrongโฆbutโฆ
CptPanda29 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:52:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
British Secondary (High) School,
Obligatory not a teacher - Playing a game in history matching meanings to words, teacher asks "Group of people that travel to opportunities elsewhere, beginning with P"
"Pikeys?"
Butterflyfeathers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:14:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing an English Language Immersion course for primary kids and the theme was Monsters. I was explaining to the kids the characteristics of what a zombie was and how it comes back to life after death. One kid asked how that was even possible and before I can say anything, another kid from the class said, it's just like Jesus. He died and rose again.
iheartthejvm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:24:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, student.
We're studying databases and the lecturer is asking about how you would specify gender in a database. I suggested that you could use a boolean value, i.e. True for one gender, False for the other.
Anyway, he starts telling this story about a trans person (guy->girl) who is meant to be getting an operation, but the hospital keep delaying it, after a few appointments and several months of waiting they get impatient, they decide to go into a bathroom and cut their genitalia off by themselves. How would we classify that in a database with a boolean value for gender?
My answer was simple: NULL
Cpete ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:26:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During French class some kid kept answering questions with only Oui, so when the teacher got annoyed and asked "Do you know any other words than Oui???" he answered Non.
WhiteChickInAsia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:41:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching ESL abroad in an immersion kindergarten, the kids have small fights and conflicts over really dumb shit. So I'd quiz them every morning on what was and wasn't a big deal. And whether they should interrupt me and class to tell me about it.
I taught the phrase "it's not a big deal."
One day two kids accidentally swap pencil cases because they're sitting next to each other. But they're 4 so one kid cries out "Rex has my pencil case!" Rex didn't even realize it. But one of the brighter kids understands Rex mistakenly grabbed the wrong case.
"It's an accident. It's not a big deal, it's a small deal!"
Another time, when I was a brand new teacher abroad I got thrust into teaching younger kids for the first time. I of course instantly lost control of the classroom. I'm trying to get the kids to be quiet when another student took mercy on me. He stood up and screamed at the top of his lungs (he's an ESL learner) "SHUT DOWN".
The entire class suddenly was quiet.
Thanks kid.
thelazyguru ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:00:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have been deeply concerned that I just encountered a robot hive mind masquerading as loveable tots.
WhiteChickInAsia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby Borgs in the making.
Frances_Wright ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:02:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Early primary school biology test. What is a name for a male cow? Answer: Bruce
onion926 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:02:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to Chinese 8th graders. I asked during a Dr. Who movie clip how the Adipose left the house, meaning through what place in the house (the catflap). One kid said "By foot."
Brian_Nguyens ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My college anatomy professor once asked on an exam "Which muscle turns the head?" The answer he was looking for was 'sternocleidomastoid', but one student answered 'gluteus maximus'. My professor says he thought about it for a bit, laughed out loud at his desk, and gave the student full credit.
Albert_Prahl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:16:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is an English teacher, and the class (16 year olds) had juts finished reading Of Mice and Men. He poses this: The answer is Curley. What is the question? So he's looking for something like 'Who attacks Lennie?', or 'Who is the boss's son?'. Anything where the answer is Curley. One kid puts his hand up, brain working furiously, and says "Is it.... who is Curley?"
rightkindofwrong ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:19:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but witnessed in primary education in Ireland. Still sticks with me twenty years on.
"When did Jesus Rise again?" Student "Bloody Sunday"
I believe Jesus cast the first petrol bomb...
canincm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:53:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First grade teacher:
Q: What's the difference between 9 and 5?
A: 9 is thinner.
Q: Using directional language, describe how to get from the field to the cafeteria.
A: Go left or right whenever the other kids do.
Q: If you have two pizzas cut into 12 pieces each, how can you share them with your classmates?
A: Everyone gets one piece, and FATKID will eat the rest.
FormerStreetDog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:56:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach 7th grade english. I showed my students a picture of kids playing in a park. I asked them "what doesnt belong in this picture". One student stood up and said "the gorilla". The "gorilla" was a black child and the focal point of the picture. He was 100% sure he was right.
godsmackfan1001 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:33:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a 5th grade class the book we were reading referred to a ship as "she". The teacher asked, "Why is it calling the ship a girl?" A student responded with, "My dad says everything you ride is a girl."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:50:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach government, so Sometimes I'll start class with a simple "So what did we talk about yesterday?" And sometimes my response back will be, "we talked about the US government"
Well yeah you little shit can you be more specific
kiamo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English in China. "What does creativity mean?" Kid pipes up and in all seriousness answers "trouble".
VinMariani ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:27:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What's the opposite of "passive"? A: Aggressive
spoonfedkyle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:27:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade English we had to give speeches and people were freaking out about it. My English teacher was the same from 6-8 grade and she said, "I know you guys are worried but everyone is going to have to speak to people at some point in their life." Being a bit of a smart ass my hand shot up into the air and before it hand even reached full extension the teacher said, "Yes, Kyle...Even mimes." I just put my hand down and gave her a look like, "ok you win this one teacher lady."
krunchykoolwhip ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a bunch of Middle schoolers about Mother Theresa and noticed that the majority of them had a puzzled look on their face. So I asked,"Do you all know who Mother Theresa is?" When a kid replied,"Is that the Octomom?" SMH
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:28 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell them the complete story and they'll always remember https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65JxnUW7Wk4
aristoclea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher but from tutoring, a girl showed me her health test. It had a question, "What might cause people to drink?" correct answers were things like: peer pressure, ect. She wrote 'losing family.' She didn't get the mark for it.
mile_high_cygy85 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:20:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom teaches 2nd grade, on a geography quiz: "What's the capital of Texas?" The student answered "T"
Alexalot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:12:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here, but I've got a good one.
In my AP Chemistry class last year for the final exam and, being the "good" kid I was, 100% totally studied there is no way that I didn't. There was an entire portion on who made such and such discoveries about atoms and all that jazz.
I had no clue what any of the answers were, so, for all twenty responses, scribbled in: "A dead white dude".
The teacher gave me credit for fifteen of them, I got an 83% on the final.
TL;DR: Dead white dudes on AP Chem exam.
Aslonz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:38:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But when I was in high school i had a french teacher who used to treat us like 1st graders. Anyway, i wasnt a fan of her. She asked me to come up to the board and translate a sentence. I translated the sentence to spanish.
I sat down. She didnt say anything to me and moved on to the next one. Kids in the class loled. She didnt call on me for the rest of the semester.
robhuddles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a teacher, but my favorite moment was with my own kid. She was maybe three and learning to count. She also loved Thomas the Tank Engine. So she had built a really long train, and I got her to start counting the cars, which she did from the back. She got to the car next to the engine and said, "sixteen". I asked her what came after sixteen. She looked at me, looked at the train, looked back at me and said, "Edward".
Nabeshein ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter was doing math homework concerning area and perimeter. The story problem was about redoing the floor in a room. They wanted to know how many tiles, and how much baseboard to use. I had her subtract 3 feet from the perimiter, and she put that answer down, along with the explanation that you don't put baseboard over the entry.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:01 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You actually use the imperial (impractical, more like!) system in your maths problems?
ChabowJackson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:14:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"If you want to chat with others, leave the classroom" - and who am I supposed to chat with in the hallway?
LungBubbles ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:32:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's a fifth grade teacher, and recently a kid turned in a spelling test where he answered the question: Use the word "abbreviate" in a sentence, with "I do not know how to use abbreviate in a sentence."
Under_the_Milky_Way ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:34:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 7, this girl was constantly disrupting the class. Teacher points and says: Take the door! (not in English) and without missing a beat she gets up, looks at the door, turns to him and says: Got a screwdriver?
luisa77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:49:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student teacher for a 6th grade history class and I asked the students what the European settlers brought to Native Americans and someone said "disease".
Battleroy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well from what I learned in AP world that is probably the most accurate answer
tanksoffranks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:14:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was THAT student in about 2nd grade. My teacher was teaching us about the forest and the animals that inhabited it. She told us that male deer are called "bucks" and then asked if anyone knew what female deers were called to which I responded "a buck fifty"
overdose82 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a year 10 student discuss with me, with evidence that Dora The Explorer was a Brechtian style television show.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:33:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KaraWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on why they're jumping.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:13:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher, but some kid got kicked out of class for asking for a maths debate. that makes no sense until you say it out loud
Wolfman3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:38 on March 21, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know this will get buried, but:
The science teacher asked my brother's class "What's ATP?"
"It's where Indians live," he responded.
thehogdog ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:04:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not an answer, but a hilarious comment. I was teaching 7th graders how to write a Resume as part career ed, part how to use some features of Word.
We talked about how employers look for community service. A kid asked 'Mr. Thehogdog, what if the judge orders you to community service, can you put that on your resume?' I told him, Panlo, if the judge orders you to community service, you probably won't need a resume to get the kind of jobs available to you.
HarryPotterAMA ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:41:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually find that (very true response) cripplingly sad
thehogdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was nothing! In the same class period a girl said "Everyone goes to jail once, right?" to which I replied "NO, Everyone does not go to jail at least once in their life". She then responded "Juvi?" and I again chastised her that "NO, everyone does not go to Juvi at least once in their life".
It was crazy.
HarryPotterAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only recently been exposed to the criminal justice system (I have prisoner pen pals,I didn't do anything or anything). And it's crazy to me how people can have such wildly different experiences. Like, before this the criminal justice system had no impact on me at all. Never knew anyone that had gone in, never even knew anyone that had issues with police...didn't even think about it. And it's the polar opposite for this girl. That's crazy. And sad.
thehogdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. I had them write letters in the business style about what they did over Thanksgiving or Christmas break and I would get 5 or 6 each time that I had to take to the school psychologist.
CRAZY shit going on in these kids lives.
Rampaigeee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:24:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
? Lol many people get in minor legal trouble. And every minimum wage job I applied to when I was younger still asked for a resume
TatterhoodsGoat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:30:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a seriously unhelpful answer
lamedicarobina ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG TODAY! This happened today. The question was "How are cilium and flagellum similar?" His answer was, "They both end with um".
SteveRkl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:00:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when my nephew was 7, the teacher was asking the class what comes after November? When no one knew, there was an emphasis on "NO-vember". My nephew answered, "Yesvember".
WraithSama ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:14:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex-wife told me this one. She was in college at the time, I don't recall what class it was. The professor started comparing the amount of glucose in semen to that of a cube of sugar. A girl in the class suddenly blurted out, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" The professor responded with, "Because there are no taste buds in the back of your throat." The girl's face turned beet red, and she never showed up again. She apparently dropped the class out of embarrassment.
non_fractal_labia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a comment I made in biology class. The teacher used "dots" against you if you were talking during class or whatnot, and you could get them erased for good grades and the like. Dots didn't count against your grade, they just kept you in line.
My biology teacher was teaching us about vegetarians, And told us about the different types. Used examples like "there are vegetarians that don't eat meat but eat dairy, and vegetarians that don't eat meat but still eat eggs..." and so on. Then he said "and there are vegetarians that don't eat anything with a head" to which I raised my hand and asked "what about a head of lettuce?"
He looked at me for a minute and then erased all of my for the week. Wittiest thing I have ever said and that was 14 years ago...
ashishnotnice ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:32:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: Make a sentence starting with I.
Kid: I is the..
Teacher: Stop, never use "I is" always use "I'm"
Kid: Okay...I'm the ninth letter of the alphabet..
timeflieswhen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a question/answer, but an exchange. It was a warm day, the kids had come into math together, most from PE (6th grade/ middle school), and they all started to complain about how hot it was getting. I had no control of the thermostat, so I was saying it just felt hot because they had been outside running around. I said, "It's hot in here because of all of your hot little bodies."
One 6th grade boy, a little mature for his age, lifted an eyebrow and said, "Well, thank you."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:45:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked one of my students to make me a coffee. They were new, so I asked them if they knew how I liked it.
"Bitter, just like you"
Not wrong, kid. Not wrong.
WizardBrownbeard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:41:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the student in the scenario, but this was History class, High school. I was a top notch history student but goofed off sometimes so I was doing wierd voices with my friends. Teach asks a Question about the causes of WW II and picks on me to answer.
Completely forgetting to switch to my normal voice I, a big bearded deep voiced guy, answer in this really high pitched voice talking about the punitive measures taken by the Victor's of WWI. He dead stares at me for 5 seconds before deciding to pretend I answered normally.
wolf13i ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my story, but from a friends class.
Teacher placing a stool on the table: "Right lads," (fully male class) "I'm going to let you take off early today." suddenly the room is so silent you could hear a pin drop as everyone is giving teach their full attention. "but before you go, you have to write me a short paper disproving that this chair exists. Once you have finished it, please pass it to me, if it is passable you may leave, if not you have another go. Simple. Ready? Start."
Not even a full minute later a student walks to the front of the class and passes a sheet of paper to the teacher. After staring at the paper far longer than it took the student to write it the teacher simply said "Go, but you are not getting away with that one again."
When asked by others what he'd done the teacher showed my friend the sheet. Simply written was: "What Chair?"
Fenderboy771 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:43:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a doctor's office to get shots before I left for a missions trip to Peru. The doctor asks me "What's bringing you to Peru?" I said to her "An airplane." She didn't even know how to take that. I don't think she recognized the fact that I was making a joke.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to answer "whats up?" With one of the following ceiling, sky, you or the sun. Exact amswers for exact questions haha
harrisonap ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but back in high school in a data management class we were learning about probability. An example would be: "determine the probability of 5 coins landing all tails". Being a smart ass, he would raise his hand and go, "50/50 sir. It either happens or it doesn't". I loved that class.
agreeableperson ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:49:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, that is still wrong.
Bnetonk ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There only being two options does not make it a 50/50 choice, that kid was still wrong.
diffyqgirl ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:52:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but... that's not technically correct
caleblee01 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:09:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy is wrong
OwenLeaf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's right about the "it either happens or it doesn't" part, but just because you're dealing with a binomial distribution doesn't mean that every probability is 50/50. Now, if the question said, "Four coins were flipped, and all landed on tails. A fifth coin is flipped. What are the odds it is tails?" then he would be right.
mrcaptncrunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In case you care why it's wrong, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkyZ45KQYi4
FuriousGreenTNTRL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am still salty about a time in 3rd grade when we were taking a test about reading maps. One question was, "What is on the side of the library?"" One side had a house and one side was empty. I decided the best answer was nothing. Teacher counted it as incorrect.
ScarletNumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good
hippopotumus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, there was Something on the side :-P if you had said nothing to the west/east/etc., maybe
Komi_Ishmael ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in college, I had a professor who did beekeeping as a hobby. One day he was talking about it and asked if anyone knew how the bees choose their queen. My buddy instantly says, "Divine right?"
TheFlyingWombat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:19:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That she banged him." In response to the question: "What was Cassandra's sin in Agamemnon?"
While technically not incorrect, there was some larger context missing...
billyfred42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my European History class, the teacher said that the only word pronounced differently when capitalized was polish. A girl in the class blurted out "What about China?"
Lavatories ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:31:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but one day in high school my English teacher got fed up with people talking and class and yelled "Why do I hear noise", To which my friend replied 'Because you have ears'. The whole class started laughing and the teacher seemed pretty amused with it too.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:04 on May 23, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me of when I was in a history class with a teacher who was fed up with a miserable cold and runny nose. Out loud to the class, he asked, 'Why do we even have noses anyhow?!'
I immediately responded with, 'So you have somewhere to put your glasses.' While the class was laughing, he replied that that joke was something George Carlin would have said. To date it's the best (perhaps only?) compliment I've ever received on my comedic skills.
terminatah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
me: "della, how old are you?" della: "three." me: "three! when do you turn four?" della: "on my birthday."
Akihirohowlett ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a witness. My government teacher in high school was talking about the names for people based on what state they're from (people from Texas are called Texans, people from California are Californians, etc). I don't remember why he was doing this. Well, when he got to Utah, he was stumped. He had no idea what people from. Utah are called. So the girl that state next to me said "Mormons"
dandroid126 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"name 4 numbers between 0 and 1"
"1/2, 2/4, 3/6, 4/8"
NegativeBee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At my school, that would have been marked wrong for not simplifying.
dandroid126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lesson was designed to be an introduction to fractions, so I wouldn't have marked off for that, but I totally would for a fourth or fifth grader.
ihadadogthatimiss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the teacher, but a teacher I know was teaching her students cardinal directions (North South East West ). They were coming up with pneumonic devices (i.e. Never Eat Soggy Waffles) to remember them. One student said, "Never Ever Smoke Weed."
Edit: wanted to add this was a 9 year old in a wealthy, white suburb for context
Kahless1981 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked what the official name of the SUN is. A six year old girl enthusiastically answered "Jesus".
Hawt4teach ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One test question asked students to split a circle evenly and then asked what do you make when you do that. The answer was fourths but one student wrote pizza. I may have given them credit, he was in first grade so it made sense and the test was awfully written from start to finish.
yeahcomeon- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was draw a dollar sign. She drew a sign post stuck in some grass with the word dollar on it. Gotta love ELL kids :)
baguettesy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I work in China, and I tutor my boss's son in English. We were reviewing the months of the year and I asked him how to say February. Instead of saying "February" he spelled out the abbreviation, "f-e-b-dot".
ireedwutic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a little late to reach this post, but here it is anyway. I was teaching a summer cooking class to 8- 12 year olds, and I was covering chocolate terms. I asked, "who knows what it means if chocolate is tempered?" Nobody knew, but this little girl, who was 7 (her mother talked is into letting her in because of how much she loves cooking) raised her hand and said with a huge smile, "um, it means the chocolate is really angry." I died laughing
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I have posted this before. My history teacher asked us to write an answer in "our own language", and I decided to write the answer in Hindi. She was not amused at all.
NoxiousDogCloud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was "what does hydrophobic mean". This is chemistry. So the answer is it repels water.
The answer provided was "afraid of water". Which is technically true.
imasunrae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is actually how we taught our students to remember what it meant. They understood the -phobic- part.
NoxiousDogCloud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They got the point. It was too funny and again...technically correct.
RoboticPlayer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but the student. My computer science teacher had a question on a test where we had to write a line of code to get a substring, but without using the number 13 (because that was the relevant index). With me being a smartass, I put 12 + 1, and got the question right.
lunari_moonari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked my students from my business english class to use the word "feature" in a sentence.
"One feature of dogs is that they have four legs."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When talking about the Police and people wanting the cops to stay away because they think they are out to get them. If the cops stop caring about the area, and refuse to show up, people will then complain that the Police won't help them.
A student said "So, like on Family Guy when Peter Griffin sued the doctor over the prostate exam, and then when he really needed one, he couldn't get one because they thought they'd be sued?"
Bee_Jesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Future teacher but this is about my brother. My mom once asked my brother what shape his room was in, as in did he clean it or not. He just looked at her for a few seconds and then said "A rectangle".
Big_teke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student at the time but I am forever proud of this answer. We were playing some game where you have to shout answers and the question was "what's something that shows you've done something?" and my middle school mind went right to "Pregnancy test!" the look on my teachers face was priceless as she registered what I had said and started laughing just as hard as the kids around me. I miss her so much. I hope you're doing well Mrs. Martinez.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade math teacher here.
Our school pushes writing skills across all subjects. To get my students use to constructive response, I introduced them to ELI5 idea by having them explain very simple math questions. One question was to explain how 5-2=3 in complete sentences only.
The best response by far, "Say you get 5 presents for Christmas. Your dad takes 2 away on his way out and never returns. How many presents are left?"
I couldn't hold my laughter back.
squatch_hunter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching human anatomy lab and for some questions they had to identify a body part and list one function: "Vagina; to sheathe the penis."
Telope ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...
My music teacher was teaching us about Sonata form. The first section of the form is called the Exposition, and he was trying to get us to relate it to its non-musical meaning.
"Teacher, what does exposition mean?"
"Well, what do you do when you expose something?"
"Try and cover it up again..."
bowser_tha_browser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I ran a quiz bowl tournament for middle schoolers once.
โ"What term is the opposite of "utopia"? โ"Reality"
BiNumber3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A long time ago, our teacher was going through asking each student what animal they'd want to be and why, one of my classmates says "lion, because I'd get to sleep around everyday and get fed by all my lioness'". I think there might've been a comment about the sex too, but I can't recall lol
Zei33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the 'sleep around' part was the comment about sex.
The-Prim-Reaper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher message, but one time my social studies teacher was putting people into four groups to do projects and two of the class troublemakers joined the same group (they didn't actually get numbered that way, one of them switched with someone else).
The teacher asked them "Okay, what are the odds I put you two together?" He responds "1 in 4?"
She just shakes her head and laughs and let them stay in the group together.
DubDubDubAtDubDotCom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once had a homework question "name and draw four birds which can't fly". She answered "penguin, emu, ostrich, dead bird", complete with artistic renderings.
ehkitbraygan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 7th grade our math teacher caught my friend sleeping through a lesson on Pi. He threw a dry erase marker at him to wake him up and asked him "What do we always use with pi?" (meaning, of course 3.14)
My buddy, pissed about having a marker thrown at him, looks him in the eye and says "I don't know. A fork?" He got kicked out of class for the rest ofthe day.
bonanzax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I posted this last semester, but I teach a geology 101 class for undergraduates and told them to write down their favorite rock type and why they liked it. Someone get this kid a beer and a flannel, he's a natural
susono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's right, that looks dope as shit
xDomox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a house with 8 disabled kids. One day I was with 2 kids in the bathroom to make them ready for the night. So while I was washing 1 kid in a wheelchair, I told the other kid who got autism to "flush" (his mouth) when hes done with brushing his teeth. 2-3min later he flushed the toilet...
(sorry about my english, hope the translation works)
TA4gummiFer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was at a kid's party. For one of the games, 2 teams of 6 players were given letter cards that they would hold up to spell a certain word. I got the letter L. So the clowns would ask questions and we'll spell out the answer. As a tie-breaker question, the clowns tried to be funny by asking how many dwarves were there in the snow white story. No one had the letters to spell out 'seven' so it was really just supposed to be a joke question. But I stepped up and held out my card upside-down. They didn't count it as it was just supposed to be a joke but the people watching enjoyed it anyway. Try this out on your students and see if anyone does it!
printerbob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I got a call from her. When my son was in 3rd or 4th grade, they were studying English. The teacher asked them to write a sentence using an action verb. My son wrote, " We robbed a bank in Santa Monica, bought a Caddy and a gold harmonica." When the teacher called me she was freaking out. I busted out laughing. It was a lyric from Dada's CD, Puzzle, which was getting a lot of play in my house at the time.
EmptyMatchbook ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:58:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is brevity?"
"The soul of wit."
Tinfoil_Haberdashery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:58:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach English in Sweden. This wasn't one of my students, but I heard about if from a colleague. The phrase the student had to translate was "Han tรคnder ljuset", which means "He turns on the light". Unfortunately, "tรคnder" is a homonym which can also mean "teeth", so this kid wrote "he teeth the light"...which while completely nonsensical, is a literal translation of the sentence.
Burandun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but...
My uncle was in the military and they had to read all the rules and guidelines out of this book or something, and then later be tested on it.
Well come the day of the test, the guy asking questions asked my uncle "Can you tell me rule #14? Answer that correctly and you pass."
Uncle says: "Yes." And he passes.
(Don't know the full specifics but its something like that.)
WH1PL4SH180 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is Lent? Past tense of "to lend"
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately leant is the past tense of lend so that answer is technically wrong.
CaptOfTheFridge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, "lent" is correct.
Zei33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck, you're right, I wasn't thinking.
I checked before I posted but I couldn't find a lent anywhere, leant popped right up so I just went with it.
PM_ME_UR_BASHRC_PLZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lent him my shoes yesterday. You are wrong.
nwwaterpolo11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Name an invasive species."
"Burmese Python"
This was a plant test from a plant class where snakes were never mentioned. We marked it wrong.
xxAechxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Witnesses a teacher with an accent teaching electronics. After saying it a couple of times he asked a student a question which started with the mispronounced: "In this example when can see 10 killer wasps..." In which the kid dived under the table, screaming and most of his friends followed suit! Desks went flying everywhere and the kids went nuts. Funniest reaction I've seen in a long time.
theFRANCHESCO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school chemistry we were learning about chemical bonds. One kid asks: "Which is the strongest bond?" The guy sitting next to me turns to me and straightfaced says: "Love."
notadoctor123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a class in the ancient Greek language, and on one of the midterms we had a bonus question that said something like "What's the biggest thing you've learned so far in Greek?" My professor shared with us that one person answered "humility".
nicthenerd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An algebra question asked something along the lines of "find triangle", so they drew an arrow to the triangle and wrote "here it is".
realitycheck7077 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was "find x" by the way. And its from Graham Norton.
LeopardTwins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student when a kid in my class had an answer for "What is a saturated fat?" He wrote, "It's when a fat is so filled with fattiness it can't get any fatter."
The teacher paused and thought about it and said he'd give it to him.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher, but fellow student here.
The question was 'Where was the state contract signed?' (Austria). Instead of 'Vienna' he answered 'On the bottom right hand side of the page'
djpetebrooks2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As part of a quick fire quiz I asked.
"How many people are in this room?"
Kid quickly counts all the students and shouts "28".
I say, "what about me, the teacher. "
He says "you're not people, you're a person"
VitalCalamity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My history teacher in senior year once asked us if we knew what the long, van shaped car that old people rode around in was. You know - the bus that picks people up to go to the senior center.
I didn't know. So, instead, I pop my head up off of my desk and ask "Oh, you mean a hearse?".
He did not mean a hearse. And I was still technically correct.
ali_mcb59 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is opposite for me. I was in grade 12 and in shop class. I was making a table and we had to do the sketches first. I brought it up to the teacher(male, it's important. Myself female) he then asked me what my measurements were. I've never seen a teacher go so red before. We had a good laugh about it. He was a great teacher
RoseUpHigher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister told me this happened once in her high school math class.
Teacher: "What's a polygon?" Student (after some silence): "A bird that flew away."
Dragon--Aerie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my baby brother (probably 7 or 8?) was asking if we could watch a movie. Mom was like "sure, bud, what do you want to watch?" And we start flipped through our movies.
He finds a movie, looks confused, and holds it up to show my mom. "Halloween H2O? What, does he kill them with water?"
Not necessarily right but an extremely intelligent thing to say at his age with his developmental issues!
TheFeshy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my daughter's first tests was a sheet with many simple words on it, like dog, one, cat, car, three, etc. The instructions were to color every number word purple. When she brought it home the entire page was colored purple. She got them all, I guess.
UnfadingVirus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I heard one of my teachers give one of her students full credit on an essay about compromise. It had to be at least 5 paragraphs. She only wanted to do 3 paragraphs. She decided to meet in the middle and do 4 paragraphs.
OjosDeChapulin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I saw you in your booty shorts at the Larry hernandez concert this weekend".
strangepantheon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Nature is very big and blocks the view of everything around it."
Kr_Treefrog2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was tested in 3rd grade for ADD. The exam said to draw a house. I drew an igloo.
I didn't have ADD; I had Aspergers.
joker_wcy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student. In an 11th grade additional maths test, we were asked to find the equationย of a tangent line that passes through aย curveย at a point. We were supposed to find the derivative and then substitute the coordinates of that point. I found out the curve actually doesn't pass through that point, so I crossed out my steps and provided the proof to that and wrote down 'since the curve doesn't pass through that point, there is no tangent'.
AgoraphobicHiker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In our sociology class, we played child's board games to discuss what values these teach kids.
Professor: "Can someone think of a board game where everyone wins?"
Pretentious freshman (this is either a serious answer or a failed attempt at a joke): "Dungeons & Dragons"
Prof: "What?"
paperclipcookies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even remember the question, but I let students talk to their elbow partners (whoever is next to the student) before raising their hands. Usually gets students more engaged.
So a student in the back was starting to goof off a little, So I asked him how he was doing with the question. I'm sitting in the front with the desk camera showing the question, so he yells back "IM TALKING WITH MY ELBOW PARTNER!!"
Mind you his partner was absent.
So, I ask him what his elbow partner said (just for the fun of it). You know what he does? Slap the chair next to him and yell "HEY ELBOW PARTNER WHAT DID YOU SAY????" I died laughing that day.
rianu1125 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but this is back when I was still a student. My english teacher asked "Give a sample of a complete sentence." I answered "This is a sentence."
archonsengine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student here, but I think it counts.
On a chemistry quiz, the question was "If you were to add Thing A to Thing B under Condition C, what do you think would happen?" It was multiple choice, but I had no clue. I circled one answer and wrote underneath: "I have no idea if this is what would ACTUALLY happen, but it's what I THINK would happen. I have no idea why."
I happened to guess correctly and the professor gave me credit, then wrote in the explanation of why it was the right answer.
lancesfa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:48:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 4th language arts class, the kids had to write the meaning of piece of figurative language. Figurative language - "This computer is a dinosaur" Boys answer - "This computer is awesome!"
Nuck_7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology class grade 11. After learning about the female anatomy, teacher asks, any questions? So I decide to break the ice by raisin my hand, "Where is the clitoris?" The entire class couldn't stop laughing for a good 15 minutes. I never got a response.
YaBoiThree ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a student but we were cover the basics of computer science and the question asked "write a string says what the sum of 2 randomly received integers was." Me being a smart ass wrote "what the sum of 2 randomly received integers was" unamused teacher sent me out of class.
autumnjones5316 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:18:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but when I was in 5th grade it was the first day of fall and our English teacher told us to "Write everything you know about Autumn", this kid raised his hand and asked "What if we don't know her very well?" ..... My name is Autumn and he was my crush. The teacher let him know we were doing reports on the season and not a specific classmate. My mom tells EVERYONE this story 15+ years later.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like Autumn Jokes HUE HUE HUE!
I approve.
Ignativs-appiphilia ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a claee for my seven-year-old kid: only when you are 25 years old, can you get married."
kid:"how old are you when you get married?"
I:"25."
kid:"then how old does my mom when she get married?"
I:"23."
kid:"you two do not get married at the same time?!"
Neopyrrhu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:22:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching an ESL class today, and we were practicing the sentence structure "whose ______ is this?" One student asked, "whose fleshlight is this?" (she meant flashlight).
Her sentence was technically accurate, although her pronunciation significantly altered the intending meaning.
buckderuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but during my senior year in high school in my calculus class the teacher had asked me for the solution to the problem on the board. I had spent the previous half an hour talking to my buddy next to me. Before I could answer the girl next to me shouted out the answer. However, I was still not paying attention so I answered, "That" referring to the girls answer. The teacher replied, "what is that", I responded "well in that context I believe it was used as a determiner". For whatever reason this teacher completely ate that shit up and chuckled the remaining of the class. He had a profound respect for me following this odd occurrence. Bumped up my letter grade for shits and giggles at the end of the quarter too. Made an account to tell this story. Just a shitty student who payed attention in english but not math.
Ask_Me_About_Bees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had labeled a kelp specimen with a pin in the "holdfast". Student wrote "holdfart". I gave him full credit and said nice joke to him or something, and he said, "No joke. I guess I just had something else on my mind."
Chaos707 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy professor"Why is Kim Kardashian famous?"
Student: "Because she has a sex tape with Ray J."
GaimanitePkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As good enough an answer as anything...
majmatthew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In junior high math class a kid wrote "~1 on a scale of 1 to 1,000,000,000" as an answer for every question on a quiz. The teacher gave him an A.
IdoDeLether ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
9th Grade. We were studying a chapter on Gandhi. A classmate wasn't paying attention. The teacher asked him, "Who was Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi's father?"
The kid answered very confidently - "Mr. Gandhi"
fun51ze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in special ed. There has been repeated acts of vandalism in the grade 4/5 girls bathroom. One one of the girls who was suspected and accused was a student I work with.
"It couldn't have been me" she contended. "I can't even spell"
I was suspicious myself, but she completely convinced me with her argument.
bjornsnoen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was technically just a student assistant, but still. Correcting students Java programs when one of them raised their hands way too quickly. They were supposed to implement a dice object and "cheat" one of them into showing a six. They had written the following code: Dice x = new Dice(); x.roll(); int x = 6;
TheHundredsOpenness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student in a special school for a while and when asked why Pluto was being debated for its planetary status, a girl said, "it's being voted off the island, right?"
Wetmelon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, I'm not a teacher but was in class for a good one.
Teacher was talking about economics, and asked "When is growth not a good thing?"
Kid in the back responded "When you have cancer?"
PM_ME_YOUR_BOO_URNS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was a kid one of my teachers asked about morphological derivations of the word "adult", and I said "adultery". The class started laughing but that wasn't my intention. Still the teacher gave me a weird look and expelled me from the classroom.
About ten years later, a friend told me that this teacher got fired after having been caught making out with the lady janitor. This guy was a priest, it was a Catholic school. Last thing I know, he's married to that woman and has two kids, I shit you not
Epicechoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In grade 8 my teacher asked "What is India known for?" Me: Call Centres! I was kicked out into the hallway for the next 5 minutes.
vicky90Carroll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:09:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching Year 2s about abstract nouns.
"Like love for example. Love is noun but you can't touch love"
One little boy turned to the girl next to him with misty eyes and gently reached out his hand and stroked her cheek, then turned to me and whispered "Yes you can!"
At the back another child yelled "Yeah, but you can MAKE love"
7 year olds.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meh. I'm turning 17 and I remember many of my coevals were like this back a decade ago.
PantsIsDown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:17:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but an Athletic Trainer at a high school. A cheerleader sprained her ankle and just as I was walking her out with her mom to her car I asked her if she remembered what she needed to do tonight to take care of it.
And she said, "Don't worry, I got this, you gotta RICE it. Rest, ice, compress, and levitate."
Swordsx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Used to teach kids at a local marine science center. We were doing a camoflague exercise to show adaptations, and kid drew his fish all black and placed on the black mom. The whole room was nervously laughing about how clever this was, but also waiting to see if she would react. She laughed about it and the tension went away. Kid never realized the implications of what he did.
R3boot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In elementary school i was told to unscramble the following words.
orhes: horse
tca: cat
otag: goat
odg: god
I got full marks.
amm3490 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:12:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In senior year of hs economics we were given a hw assignment where we needed to look up a couple careers for ourselves on some government website and write why we wanted to go into them. Now, this is a teacher who is very vocal about being a conservative republican and we always butt heads when it came down to talking about the upcoming 2008 elections. I come into class the next day empty handed and the following is the conversation I had with my teacher:
Me: Teacher, I couldn't do my assignment because they didn't have my future career interests listed.
Teacher: Oh yeah, and what would those be, Miss?
Me: Housewife and/or hooker.
Teacher: (proceeds to laugh hysterically) I didn't know you could be so funny!!!
I never got lower than a B on any assignment in that class after that, not even when I didn't turn in an assignment or missed an exam for any reason.
Reggro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in an economics a-level class, we were discussing externalities and pollution, shit like that. The teacher was talking about the harm of fly-tipping and says "class, who might fly tip?".
The answer he was looking for was 'firms'. Instead, from the back of the room someone just yells out "GYPPOS". The teacher laughed a bit before going "No, the answer is not gyppos. I was looking for firms. Please, for the love of God, don't write gyppos on your exam".
Pjoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ethics class, "Why do we use mice instead of people for medical experiments?"
"Can you imagine how expensive it'd be to grow Chinese just for medical experiments? 9 month pregnancy, small litter size..."
djashar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:32:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 6th grade we had a test in biology. One of the questions was: "What is a place where amphibians don't live?" Well, the teacher obviously wanted an answer like, "the desert", "somewhere without water", etc, which most of the students in my class wrote.
However, this one girl wrote "on the moon". And because it's not technically wrong, she got the point.
claireylou87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:44:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maths teacher is going through register asking which of our parents will be attending Parents Evening.
Teacher: Liam, does your mum have the same name as you?
Liam: No- she's called Marjorie.
Took a good 15 minutes for the class to calm down. Got a smile out of the usually strict teacher too.
EDS123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well here's a funny response - I was teaching cell biology to 16 year olds, and I told them that the sperm cell is the smallest cell in the male body. A girl asked, what's the smallest cell in the female body, and one of the other kids shouted out, well that would of course be the sperm cell. There was a bit of a pause and then she was like, oh right. I get it.
KoogLarousse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:28:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: What are the uses of ultraviolet light?
Student: To kill vampires
empressofglasgow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:47:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back from my days in a private, all girls catholic school. This was in a non-english speaking country and at least half my class were posh little heiresses (and the rest nicely brought up middle class).
At that stage we had a young Scottish lass to sit in during class as part of her teacher training. During an English lesson, we were learning male and female versions of animals and each girl had to give one example - lion, lioness; tiger, tigress; and the next wee girl said: dog and bitch. Cue from our teacher to make us aware that bitch is a very bad word when said to a lady and we should say girl dog or she dog to be on the safe side. The next girl raises her hand and says: cock and hen. The young teacher and I laughed out loud, the teacher blushed and glared at us, the other nice girls looked confused.
Lagaluvin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:58:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biology paper. The question was something along the lines of "Name a part of the body which is adapted to it's purpose by having a large surface area." They were looking for answers like alveoli in the lungs, or the lining of the small intestine. One kid put "feet". He wasn't wrong.
Edit: took a bit of a grammar shit when writing this.
Allthefoodintheworld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:00:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What could make your favorite dance style even more interesting?
Answer: Ballet would be more interesting if the ballerina's could fly.
Doris_Wiley ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a maths paper with the question. Tom and Dave play a game with a six sided spinner. Tom spins the spinner 200 times. these are the results. 1 - 30 2 - 32 3 - 59 4 - 31 5 - 28 6 - 20 Is this fair? he replied 'No, he didn't let Dave have a go'
Iron5nake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an anecdote from my High School science teacher. He asked in an exam how could you keep milk fresh, expecting people to answer "Keeping it cold, in the fridge".
One of his students answered "Keep it in the cow."
Maynard_Trottier ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tutor, not a teacher. I was working with a bright seventh-grader on his take-home geometry work. One question asked for the perimeter of a diagrammed triangle, but only two sides of the triangle were labelled. He had no idea how to answer the question. It happened to be a right triangle, so I told him that while I was absolutely positive it wasn't the method his teacher intended him to use I could show him a way to find the missing side. We spent half an hour on the Pythagoras Theorem and he loved it. The next time I saw him I asked how he'd done. The teacher had given him full marks but was bewildered that my student had used an algebraic theorem to solve a simple addition problem. (They hadn't even covered exponents yet.) Apparently the class was supposed to find the length of the missing side of the triangle by... literally measuring it with a ruler. The student and I agreed our way was better.
Elizabeth_Tarbell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:04:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: What changes could you implement to make the heating device more efficient at increasing the temperature of the water? Answer: Heat the water during the day so the warmth from the sun also contributes to heating the water
David_Lawson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:06:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher in Japan, the students were to finish the sentence "I can't stand..." And someone wrote "I can't stand on water"
Split_Pea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sister in law asked my son (4) what size his shoes were. He said "the same size as my feet".
TheVeganManatee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:13:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, just a proud dude.
In year 4, we were asked the question "What gets bigger the more you take away?", so I answered "Minus numbers".
Would've got a prize for it, too, if it weren't for my classmate copying me and saying she wrote it down as well so that none of us got prizes. Kniveling bastard...
Rufina_Randolph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chemistry test: "Why shouldn't you smoke at a petrol station?" "You might get cancer."
Yoongi_94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:14:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but: "What's the opposite of dying?" - "Killing." I mean they aren't wrong...
IndomitableDan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:14:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember very vividly in grade 4 we had just learned decimals and then we were on to multiplication. On this 20 question test I actually did all the math reading the question number and first number as decimals. So the questions looked something like this 1.12 X 31
(I'm doing this on mobile so it probably looks stupid.) Anyway.. I remember being last to finish which bothered me becuase I'm very good at math. Then the teacher handed back the test with a big 0% on it with a "see me after class". I was almost in tears. After class the teacher asked me to do a question and when she saw what I was doing she laughed so hard. I laughed too not knowing what was up. She explained it to me then pulled out a calculator to give me a proper grade. I think I got like an 80 on the test even doing math way outside of what we were supposed to be doing.
honeydew990 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching kindergarten last year and all the kids were sitting in the carpet area for their morning lesson. We were going over the letter X: how to write it, the sound it makes, and what words they knew with the letter X and I would write it out on the board for them to see.
Me: "What words have sound like X?"
Kid 1: "BOX!"
Kid 2: "SEX!"
<some students giggle>
Me: "Well yeah it has the X sound...but that's not a word we're going to use ok?"
Principal's daughter: "Teacher what's sex?"
<facepalm>
andlovestokyo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:34:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English Teacher in Japan. Got a message from a student that he couldn't come to class because he had broken his foot fingers playing soccer.
emuulay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher." In high school, we had an amazing chem professor who liked to joke and have fun. He never called his exams "tests"; they were known as "opportunity packets." He would ask us "to print your name at the top, fill in what you know and sign your name at the bottom," and that would automatically give us the opportunity to make an A.
Once a student printed his name at the top, wrote "I know that 2+2=4", wrote a proof for that, signed his name and turned it in. The teacher legitimately gave him a C because he followed directions and wasn't technically wrong; also, no one had ever had the gumption to try that with him before in his 32 years of teaching. He made sure to reword his directions after that.
PM_ME_YOUR_CHESTHAMS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:51:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in school we had an electrical/systems type class. One of the questions on a test was "What is a transformer?" Most people answered with "A robot in disguise"
1onerangeR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:52:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but... I tutored my brother and he asked "Why does this triangle have four sides?" almost cried
personalpostsaccount ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not a teacher but a witness
we were studying political geography and learning about the 60s (we were a bit older by then, 12-13 y/o)
so after a few classes the teacher asks a friend of mine "so, G, do you remember the 60s?"
"no, I was born in 1992"
foxh8er ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In math class in high school - "How far is the Earth from the sun?"
"1 AU"
Emilee_Lewis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:05:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. When I was in high school, for biology we dissected a fetal pig. On the test we had afterwords one of the questions was something like "why do the lungs not function properly" and I simply wrote "it's dead." Got the mark.
Mirminatrix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English pronunciation class practicing Ls-- Me: (IIRC) "What do you like most about Los Angeles?" Korean guy: "Los Angeles has many beautiful bitches." Me: falls on the floor laughing "Well, yes, yes that's true, but I think you mean beaches." Tomorrow's lesson: long e vs. short i
BotanizerNC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉ is an environmental educator and was teaching 6th graders yesterday and gave them a prequiz to make sure they did the required reading before teaching the lesson. One question was, "What are three major threats to wildlife in our state?"
One kid answered "Other Animals, Hunting, and Trump."
Re-lar-Kvothe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:15:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this makes the grade (pun intended) but I took a materials science class in college and the professor began talking about crevice corrosion. I turned to the girl next to me, the only one in our class, and asked if she ever experienced crevice corrosion. The professor heard me and immediately left the room. He was out in the hallway laughing his ass off.
peeinurbutt34715 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:23:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student once that answered the following question 64/16. You were supposed to show your work. He crossed out both of the 6's and that left 4/1 = 4. Technically right, but....
Clorpet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:23:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dissection of worms. Should have been dead worms. They weren't. Lecturer said let's just put their heads in boiling water. Kid responded by saying "Nup"". Fuck that". Didn't submit. Received an A.
WalterRickAlderson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm only 16 but I was teaching rifle shooting at a Boy Scout camp, I asked my students how to unload a rifle. I picked a student after he raised his hand, he said "look downrange and unload that motherfucker like it's fully automatic". Even I was dying of laughter for a good five minutes.
poppamurph822 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:28:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fifth grade teacher here. During my first year teaching, I was reading the book Holes aloud to my students. They would all sit on the carpet and I'd do my best voices as I read and every once and awhile I'd ask them a question about the text. Well, there's a line in the book that says "his muscles and hands weren't the only parts of his body that had toughened over the past several weeks. His heart had hardened as well." I stopped to ask my students what they thought about the figurative language used to describe his heart. A little girl in front with these big, innocent brown eyes raises her hand and says, "Well, I think it means that he's not a pussy anymore." My job dropped. I knew this was a defining moment for me, as I could either laugh at the honest and inappropriate answer or correct her. I ended up saying "uh, well, we don't use that word, but you're right, he's not as tough as he was before." And that was that.
punkass_book_jockey8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:32:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Students were expressing concern about a possible WW3. When I said "it will be okay, people are being dramatic. What specifically are you worried about?"
Student: you made us do the stupid World War One unit, then the World War Two unit, and I'll die if I have to do a world war three unit!! I hate wars!
I lost it and doubled over laughing
jacopsenn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:36:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching how to write for the first grade students in primary school and told them to fill the one page in the notebook with 'A' letter. One student wrote just one giant 'A' which covered the whole page.
srosing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:39:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend was doing research on a high school class for her degree in science education. She gave the students a questionaire including the question "Of everything you learned in High School what do you think will be most important in your life".
One student put down "Seducing women"
kay310 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:40:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade History: Early men wore leaves to cover their main point.
mooretec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:45:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this would blend in well with this askreddit, as it's a miscommunication at school.
In HS I was a blah student. By that I mean I wan't hated or picked on and I wasn't the most popular of students. I was well liked by everyone and a tutor to A LOT of students in Algebra/Trig/Calc.
One day when I was supposed to tutor I forgot and boarded my bus home. I was the lucky last kid off in the afternoons and first kid on in the mornings kid. So I always got the last seat on the bus. I realized my mistake 2 blocks away from school, so I stood up and asked the driver "Can you let me back off?". She slammed on the break, got up, marched all the way to the back of the bus, put her finger in my face and said "You're not to say another word, you sit down and shut up." Some kids were laughing but most of us were trying to figure out what her problem was. Since I was the last one off, she got to exchange some words, she got really heated. I just stayed quiet as I don't like confrontation. She ended with "I will never let you back on this bus and I will be talking with your parents tomorrow".
The next day my grandmother let me drive to school, I was old enough and had a license. Finally in the last hour of school I was called to the office. I enter and I see my grandmother and bus driver sitting with the assistant principle. I said hello to all three and sat down (I was always cordial around the HS staff). The bus driver started with "You want to tell your grandmother what you said to me yesterday"? I told the bus driver that I already explained to my grandmother that I didn't know what the problem was exactly I'm here to figure this out. The bus driver shouted really hatefully "Can you let me jack off?". I was floored. My grandmothers mouth hit her lap, and the assistant principles eyes got HUGE as he turned to look at me. He saw the shock in my face, as I turned back to him. I told him I said "Could you let me back off" less then two blocks away from school. I asked him "Could you please confirm that I am a student tutor? Could you please call [Mrs. Tutor] and ask if I showed up yesterday and if I was supposed too?" He did both as I turned and saw the look of horror in the bus drivers face. When he got off the phone with the teacher he turned and apologized to my grandmother. For having her come out to school and missing work, and for the horrible thing that was said. He looked at me and said "You will not be on bus suspension". He excused us from his office and said "[Mooretec], when you leave could you please shut the door." She was still in there with him. I went back to class after giving my grandmother a kiss and hug. I drove back home after class and when I got home my grandmother said I could drive from now on if I wanted. I told her I did but tomorrow I want to ride the bus. She nodded then said to me "I could see you saying that. . . " I laughed.
The next morning since I was the first kid on the bus. She could talk to me freely-- she said "I am supposed to apologize to you." I said "That is not an apology, but don't worry about it, I'll drive from now on".
Again not completely related but I thought it fit well.
Cptben94 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:46:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a special education teacher so I have plenty of stories in this area but one that sticks out in my mind... I was working with a student with autism who was very bright. I supported him in his World History class. We were studying feudalism and the middle ages and running a pretty fun simulation with a King/Queen of the class, Lords, Vassals, the whole nine yards. For most of the simulation my student did great and played along, pointing out minimal times how none of this was real. Finally at one point he was told by the teacher to turn and bow to his king and queen. The student, totally seriously, responded, "Mr. Cptben94, I bow to no man!" I exclaimed, "but Student, you'll be beheaded." His response after he winked at me, "I've lived a full life, if it must be done for the good of the realm, let it be done!" It was fantastic!
UBKUBK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:49:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Global warming is the cause of the earth's rising temperature"
megadecimal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what the Environmentalists WANT you to think! Interrobang!?
Spontaneous_Mullet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:49:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My teacher always tells the story of when a student was late and knocked on the door, she slipped a note there the door that said, "why are you late?" And a pencil to respond with. A couple seconds later the note comes back with, "A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." Needless to say, our teacher wasn't mad and let him in.
darth-agnon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:51:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but the best one I heard was what the technical term was for the man who operates the gas. It should have been gasfitter (am Dutch) but one of our classmates wrote Hitler. The teacher chuckled and gave him full points for the question
MistahZig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son had to write an essay because he dug a hole in the sand in the school yard and convinced kindergarteners to piss in it.
He had to answer questions like "What did you do? Was it ok?", etc.
The last question was "What would happen if every student did what you did?"
His reply: The Principal's office would be filled to the roof.
I couldn't keep a straight face that time
atomic_tango ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with adults with mental disabilities. We were playing a Jeopardy-style trivia game and the question was, "What is the name for a baby chicken?"
One guy thought about it for a second and answered, "An egg." I gave him the points.
Seeker0fTruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:10:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad was a teacher. He was teaching 6th grade when I was in high school and he paid me to grade papers occasionally. I was grading a book report that had been written by one of the stupidest students my dad ever had the privilege to teach (when asked in science class why Plains City, Nebraska was consistently warmer than Mountain City, Colorado despite the fact that they were on the same parallel, he replied that Nebraska was farther east and therefore closer to the sun). Anyway, I'm grading this book report.
Q: What images did you see as you read this story. S: I didn't look at any of the pictures, I just read.
cymbolic_music ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: According to Buddhism, what is the cause of suffering?
A: Life :(
GreatEscapist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:19:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade ~3 I had a test ask me to divide s pizza into 7 pieces for myself and my 6 guests. Did not want to figure it out so I cut it in 8 and wrote "Save 1 piece in the fridge for later."
I knew it was wrong I just didn't need the points badly enough to try, wasn't even really trying to be a smart ass. But my teacher loved it so much I got a half point and she showed my parents later. They loved it so much it still comes up sometimes.
myogawa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember this one, from my childhood some five decades ago. Most likely apocryphal but still an excellent story.
The teacher asked the class to write "a short essay on South America."
Bobby turned in his sheet and left. On it he had written:
"SA"
jmgs000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:24:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here. 6th grade science class. Test said describe genes and I hadn't a clue so I described jeans and she gave me credit
episkey13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a second grade class we were discussing contractions...as in combining words together (it is to it's etc) and when I asked if anyone knew what the word contraction meant a kid enthusiastically raised his hand and said "yeah, my mom has those every time she has a kid!"
steve_2016 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: "Can you tell me something about 16th century French painters?"
A: "Yes."
thewookieeman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a class the other day what temperature water boils at. One girl shouted out with great confidence "whatever temperature you like! Duh!"
The answer I was looking for is 100 degrees C. If the pressure is high enough then she's not completely wrong, but I'm not sure she knew that...
Drakidor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my own story but back in Health class when talking about women and their menstrual cycles, a question said "Why do women bleed once a month" and I responded "Because they got injured"
ServerTime0ut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During technology class we were learning about how to place parts into a computer. The teacher asked "how do you remove the dust off the components?" I student yelled out "rub it on the carpet."
KombatWombat1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best answer was when I was student teaching. We were going overt major players in the civil war and got to Abraham Lincoln. When I asked what people knew about him the most timid Asian girl raised her hand and belted out, "he was a vampire hunter." Thanks Hollywood.
pagnoodle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife was teaching in a juvenile corrections facility having a discussion on if teachers should be allowed to do room and body searches for contraband. Some students had thoughtful answers like, "If they aren't trained they might hurt us by mistake or not know what they are looking for." Etc.
One kid in the back seems to be deep in thought so my wife asks what's on his mind. His response was intended to be serious and not intentionally vulgar.
"I don't know mam. How hard could it be to search a girl? You just spread the lips and look."
Credit to my wife for keeping her composure and giving a brief explanation on how it's just not that easy.
CalDemps ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was presenting a class using Sphero robots, when the kids had navigated the obstacles on the floor and reached the 'treasure chest' at the end, touching the ball to the chest, they got a gold coin from the chest.
All of my learners have learning difficulties and this was actually rather challenging for them.
One kid was just like: "Can't you just give me a chocolate", I replied that he could only get one when he had touched the chest, so he walked over, opened it and went "done!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:52:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, not a teacher-student context, but when my brother went to the mandatory psychological evaluation before going to school they asked the kids ''If it's not white, then it's...'' expecting the answer to be ''black'', so naturally, my brother answered ''dark blue''.
PrincessRoguey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in Primary 5 we were learning about the Mary Queen of Scots and Elizabeth etc. We were asked what religion Queen Elizabeth was and I put up my hand to say Protestant and accidentally shouted out Prostitute! The whole class, including the learning assistants, were pissing themselves. Even more so when the teacher responded "that's right well done!"
f4hy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In electrodynamics class in University I was asked on a midterm to determine the electric potential at the center of a configuration of 3 point charges.
I realized the problem didn't say "with zero defined at infinitely far away" like it usually is. So I wrote "I define the electric potential to be zero at that point" and wrote nothing else on the page.
BotanyTay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher : "Tuck your shirt in, boy!"
Student : "...but then my trousers will be hanging out, sir"
krunz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:07:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Who are the Republicans and Democrats?"
Me (5th grade): "Republicans are the elephant and the Democrats are the donkey."
ST33PER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Not a Teacher) So there was this one kid in my geography class. When the geography bee rolled around he would never study and act like he did. He would say something like. "Oh man oh man I know it Turkey" and it would be Greece. So one day it rolls around to Oman, and he says "Oh-man" and it was the only one he got right.
risingrah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some sort of assessment test I was helping administer at a childcare center for students going to kindergarten.
Question: What rhymes with "sit"?
Student: Tit!
Me: The BIRD, yes.
I mean, I gave her the point, and I was grateful the test didn't ask specifically what the students said.
KaraWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to put Thrush(also a bird) in a poem once. My mom was not happy with me when she found out. Had no idea it is also a rash moms can get from nursing.
ngram11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:12:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In high school a friend of mine had an oral quiz in history class. The teacher had assigned a reading earlier in the week on the bay of pigs standoff during the Kennedy administration. So the question was : "what was the most difficult event during Kennedys administration?"
My friend, who hadn't done the reading, without missing a beat replied "when he was shot"
Teacher had to give it to him.
iStock5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When asked "What did the Quakers do for us?" A bright student responded "They made oatmeal!" The class was quiet before the bland delivery of this joke, and I'd told the student to not answer so as to get the rest of the class involved. This one bit of humor really brought them out of their shells
notepadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:20:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7th grade American History exam
Q - "What day was the Declaration of Independence signed?"
A - "Thursday"
ToesocksandFlipflops ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:43:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freshman Humanities class:
Question was: 'Do you think Israel has a right to take over Palestinian land?' (I know loaded question in and of itself)
Paraphrased answer; 'No they don't, just because a so called 'guy in the sky' says you have the right to a piece of property does not mean you do'
This was not what I was looking for but, technically.....
ltocadisco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What do you want to do in life? A: Shawna cuz she thick as hell.
VenusdellArcano ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grade 4, we were to give a presentation in front of the class. The topic I was given was, "which would you choose, oak or sable?" Researched the hell out of it, oak can be made into furniture, can be burned for warmth, can make a fur coat out of sable (like a mink)... 20mins presentation in front of the class. Turns out, teacher meant Oak Island and Sable Island, both of which are famous (in Nova Scotia apparently) for shipwrecks and buried treasure.
kimchi_station ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English in Korea and doing final test. Part of the speaking test was answer "When is your birthday?".
Boy looks me dead in the eyes and says "Octopus 24th"
cewallace9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was having students do metric conversions on math problems and I set up the problem like this: 10. 24 mL = _________ kL
The answer should be .000024 kL
10 is the number of the problem
The students were converting the number of the problem so they were answering it as .00001024
EDIT: Dumb teacher here...sorry I actually wrote the answer wrong lol
The_mingthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kL????
cewallace9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kiloliters
The_mingthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good on you to correct the answer :-)
I've never ever used kL btw, and I'm a native metric user.
cewallace9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that would be a lot of liters lol
The_mingthing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, had to think a bit;
When you get into the 1000 of liters you usually start talking about cubic meter instead of liters
jdaryana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:01:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's a teacher. She asked "Jason, can you find Mexico on a globe?" Jason agrees and points it out. She then asked, "Okay class, who found Mexico?" Class' response: "Jason"
MarissaEMagana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a maths paper with the question. Tom and Dave play a game with a six sided spinner. Tom spins the spinner 200 times. these are the results. 1 - 30 2 - 32 3 - 59 4 - 31 5 - 28 6 - 20 Is this fair? he replied 'No, he didn't let Dave have a go'
aspindler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when I was in high school, there was a physics question about a car going X km/h, and if he could stop before hitting a wall, given x deceleration and shit.
I didn't know how to answer, and just wrote it "no".
Teacher marked my answer as wrong.
So, we did review the test on the black board, when this question was asked during the review, I did answer it loud as "yes". When questioned why, I replied "Well, I did write No and you wrote it as wrong".
xyndirit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:27:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a Mom here. My son wrote these on the tag on his guitar bag when he was 10:
Name: (Wrote his name) Address: (Wrote the address) City: (Got the right city) Telephone: Samsung
BehavioralSink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:29:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP US History and the teacher is talking about a break-in, robbery, and murder at a shoe factory (Sacco and Vanzetti). He's talking about the uncertainty of the evidence against them, no prior crimes by either men, and any other reasons the men might have had for going to the shoe factory, at which point my buddy floats this statement from the back row:
"Maybe they were searching for their soles."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade English class. Our teacher is speaking to the class from her desk. My friend "T" is talking to me and subsequently gets called out in front of the class by Mrs. W.
Mrs. W- "T, since you are talking, do you want to stand up and teach the class?" T- " No, do you?"
nocte_lupus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me. I'm not sure if it counts as funny. No teacher actually read this.
I was in an ACE school, these you basically do workbooks you fill in yourself and mark yourself. The only teacher involvement really is the 'check ups' to make sure you can take the test at the end of the book. I remember taking a social studies workbook that I think had been 'updated' at some point in the 80s/90s. And being asked the following:
'With your knowledge of Biblical prophecy' (What knowledge, I'm 14) 'Could Saddam Hussein gain control of Iraq/Threaten the west' (something along those lines). He'd died around a year before I was doing this particular workbook but my response was 'No (Because he's dead)'.
Kighla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the K5 students was given a prompt to write about and draw what they would be doing in 100 years. He wrote "I will be dead" and drew a picture of himself laying in a grave and the tombstone said his name.
TheR1mmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in my class (called technology but for you people outside the UK its where we build things) we had a test.
The question was "why would you use PVA glue to stick two wooden items together"
I answered "becuasw thats what glue does, its sticky"
got a mark for it too :)
MorthaP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in elementary school. Quiz question said 'Which is the shortest month?' Obviously they were looking for 'February', but I put 'May'.. since.. y'know.. shortest word. I got full points because the teacher said the question probably hadn't been precise enough.
Valkyria90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a witness. In high school we had been spending a month in history class going over the development of Christianity in Europe through the middle ages and renaissance, and pairs of people were asked to have a presentation about a famous individual from that time from a list.
2 girls in class chose to have their presentation about Martin Luther, and spends a week preparing for it, and eventually make their presentation about Martin Luther King Jr and what he did in USA in the 50s and 60s.
SteelUnicorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, was the student. During biology class, we were just beginning to learn about DNA. We were gathered around the front while the teacher was teaching. He asked "does anyone know what genes are made of?" and I, semi-zoned out, replied immediately "denim"
NaBacLeis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a class of 7 year olds. Teacher asked them to name a consonant. Little Jimmy replies, 'tomato ketchup, mustard, pepper.'
It took me a minute then I realised Jimmy meant condiment.
urineflavorsnowcone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:10 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 1st grade we had to write a sentence for our work sheet. So I wrote "Your pen is on the floor" the teacher circled "pen is" and wrote for me to see her after class! She thought I wrote "Your penis on the floor".
ahol208 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:57:44 on April 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a history class, my professor was talking about the transcontinental railroad and said something along the lines of "The folks from Chicago wanted it in Chicago, but who is not from Chicago?" (I don't remember the exact wording, but essentially, I think he was looking for either "the south" or "the southwest") and out of the blue, this usually quiet kid goes "...people from Detroit"
aFatalStabbing ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:27:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but TA'd for one. There was a test with some "freebie" open ended questions for extra points at the end of one of the tests. I don't remember what the question was but the answer was "Jesus, because Jesus is always the answer." He got partial points just because he made us laugh.
xband1t ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:34:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student, our math teacher was explaining a problem on the blackboard and asked... "Now class, how do I get rid of this decimal?". Me, "Erase it."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:41:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this reminds me of something my freshman HS general science teacher did. She gave us a list of 60-100 vocabulary terms a week. We had to put:
What we thought it meant
What it meant
An example
A non-example
And a small image.
For most of the year, I used "rocks" or "air" for the non-examples, because non-examples were fucking bullshit imo. It took an hour at least to do, and she constantly bitched about my handwriting (I've got fine motor skill problems) but wouldn't let me type the work.
She never marked me off, except one time near the very end. I shut her down with "But Ms. [Bitchface], those are non-examples, they're examples of what the thing isn't."
rfennem ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:23:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching Grade 3's a lesson in dental health. We placed a boiled egg in cola to demonstrate by brushing the outer shell with a fluoride toothpaste once a day made a difference to the damage caused by acid and sugar. A student missed the entire week of this experiment so on his return I began to explain the lesson. As I summarized the results I pointed out that the egg shell was still a bit brown in color even though we brushed once a day. He raised his hand and replied...."like your teeth sir!"
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am confused
saxenas1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:14:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The humor of this might be lost in translation:
My brother, when in 6th grade, got into a fight during lunch break and ended up with a big shoe mark across his white shirt.
The class after the lunch break was taken by a teacher nick named the "Komodo Dragon". She was 6" 5 and massive build. Further, she had a fiery temper and kept erupting like a volcano on the slightest of errs.
She walks into class and spots my brothers chatting away while looking like a complete mess (she loved picking on him...). She calls him over and asks him, "What is this?" whilst pointing to the shoe mark.
Back in the day, there was an Ariel/Tide advert running in country where a mom angrily asks her kid "What is this?" While pointing to stains on the clothes. And the kid smartly replies, "We have Tide."
My brother felt his situation was similar to the advert and replied, "We have Tide."
The whole class broke out into laughter, she threw him out for the remainder of the class and later I was called to the principal's.
Walter_Malone_Carrot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:15:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is hard water?"
"Ice."
FruitLoop4Life ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not A teacher but a mom, I had asked my 6 year old daughter "if she knew that chickens can still run around after their heads are cut off?" Her quick response of "not if you cut off their feet first." Completely caught me off guard. I laughed and gave her credit for her problem solving. I was a little creeped out that she was just so casual about it and there was no "awe poor chicken", just -stop it from running away.
KaraWolf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ive seen the headless chicken run. Its kinda hilarious.
Porkchop_Sammies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:14:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a high school special ed teacher for mild to moderate students. Almost all of her students are at about a 2nd to 3rd grade cognitive level, yet she loves it because they are able to respond.
Recently they were talking about their disabilities and she has this one student who is literally the nicest kid alive. Earlier in the year they hosted a special needs basketball tournament and in one of the games this child was lucky enough to steal the ball from the opposing team. Aside from being overjoyed he was also filled with regret and ended up giving the ball back to the person he stole it from with a "I'm sorry".
Well when asked if he knew was his disability was, he responded "my disability is that I'm super nice and just love everyone to pieces."
It just about melted my wife's heart.
MeanMark87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:50:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 6th grade we were asked to draw a picture of "an expert" on the board. The idea being that we would all be sexist and racist and whatever-ist and draw a white male doctor or scientist etc and the teacher would point it out. I saw it coming from a mile away and so I spent a long time at the board drawing Bert from Sesame Street handing over a name changing form to a judge in a courtroom so he could be an 'ex Bert.'
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:57:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dairy_Seinfeld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile my dad/mom would've beat my ass for "acting smart"
another30yovirgin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:35:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: lots of fake answers from people who have never been teachers.
ukelaylie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:17:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was subbing for a 2nd grade science class. We were doing a lesson on why there's night and day, and I had been told that they could do the reading on their own and fill out all the answers without any help. I realized that wasn't the case when several of them wrote that we have day and night "because daytime is for playing and nighttime is for sleeping".
Hates_escalators ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only life was that simple.
miserychastain43 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:28:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my all time favorite stories. We were in pairs talking about deep ocean animals. One of my students was explaining how he knew vampire squids live in the twilight zone and misspoke, "they have little blue lights on their testicles." His partner's mouth fell open and I asked him to repeat himself. He turned bright red and yelled "TENTACLES!"
None of the other kids heard and the three of us had a good laugh once he got over being embarrassed.
RIP_Hopscotch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just the other week in my Ancient History course we were covering Cato the Elder's writings on slavery, and the TA made the mistake of just asking what Cato believed.
I, of course, responded with "That Carthage must be destroyed" a joke that was sadly lost on the entire room bar the professor, who was sitting in.
YTIHZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student recently get really confused about a question on units of time and their relationships (I teach grade 3). The student was crying because he couldn't figure out a question.
The question was "Mr. Tihz has a dog that is 24 months old. How many years old is his dog?"
His answer: "We didn't learn dog years yet."
Full marks were awarded.
gorillamangun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:35:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question on my test read: "What is the Elastic Clause?" A student answered: "Santa in Spandex."
kirbycheat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me in Spanish 1 in HS:
We had a problem that required us to rearrange words into a cohesive sentence that answered the question we were asked.
The question was:
Can you help me move this weekend?
Typical response was "I would like to, but I cannot."
My response was "I can, but I would not like to."
Lucinnda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend worked at a daycare center where they had a unit on fire safety, including "stop, drop, and roll". One kid had been out sick but when he got back he was asked, "What would you do if your clothes were on fire?" and he said, "I wouldn't get dressed." (I have forever had an image of the kid opening the dresser drawer, seeing a blazing inferno, saying "nope" and closing the drawer.)
ElapidKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this happen on Christmas. No coal under the tree oddly enough. I've tried to be good ever since.
KingKnotts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:44:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a personal favorite of mine only because I was the student. We were talking about Freud and a girl that constantly would complain said all he proved was what all women know and that men are just controlled by their dicks. So I said "he also explained why you spread your legs to a different guy every week, daddy issues and penis envy". I apparently made my teachers day.
ingold_we_trust ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:53:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Religious, moral and Philosophical teacher here. When asking about what can alter your moral decision making and make you do the wrong thing.
Pupil, 14 'being horny can make you make horrible mistakes'
'
Nancy_Bradford ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teminds me of a study showing adults could usually find two or three uses for a particular item while 6year olds averaged 30+. I was impressed until I read into and they accepted any abstract answer. "Rubber bands can be hats!"
mcxmammer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:49:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a student draw a detailed bear over the problem and wrote "I can't do this problem because there is a bear in the way"
ahnlikeoff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fiend's taking a college philosophy course and the professor is a real stickler. Before finals week they ask what they should review and he says it's a cumulative essay - nothing more. So they're cramming for the exam like crazy.
Day of the test, professor walks in, puts a chair on his desk, and asks: How do you know this chair is real? You have an hour.
So they all start writing like mad, but less than two minutes later, the student with the highest grade in the class gets up, places his test on the professors desk, and walks out. Turns out he got an "A"; his answer?
"What chair?"
Swiftfire1002 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh how I strive to be him.
SummitRacibg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student, so we had a quiz on the map of Africa. Quiz time comes, and I don't know half of the countries so I just start filling the other ones up with Turkey and Kyrgistan, Belgium and the U.A.E. , and then whatever's left I filled in with Ethiopia. I must have filled in seven or eight countries with Ethiopia, and they all got counted correct. Maybe my teacher thought Ethiopia was going to get more food that way.
riddus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:13:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did this as a student and they attempted to reprimand me- It was an English class and we had to write detailed instructions to a game. The instructions had to be written in a way that somebody who had never played could sit down and enjoy a game without having to ask any questions. The teacher gave no length requirements, she only stated that we would be working on these the next three class sessions. The entire class, except myself, picked fairly complex games (Uno, Monopoly, various video games, etc). I picked Hangman. So, I hand my paper in at the end of the first class session, only to be told it was unsatisfactory and would not be accepted. I protested repeatedly that it met all criteria of the grading rubric and should be. The teacher and I argued this to the point that she instructed me to take my rubric and completed assignment to the school superintendent. Once I met with the super and presented my documents, he read everything over and said "so what's the problem"? It was a small victory, but it felt huge.
TL;DR- took the path of least resistance on an assignment and was able to override the teacher's decision.
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol she didnt SAY it had to be complicated! Though this reminds me of the "write without pictures exactly how to tie shoes so someone who never has tied shoes before can tie them correctly". Id want to do something like that box grid game or cards againat humanity.
Pokecrafter88 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one I did a few years back, we were doing the great depression in social studies. The teacher asks: "What comes with depression?" Hes referring to an economic depression, but me being the person I am, I reply quickly with: "Suicidal tendencies"
Thank god I did well in that class.
whatsupz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:00:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom teaches special needs kids. They were going over a science lesson and she told them, "living things need air to live, and non living things do not."
A retarded kid in the back goes, "my bicycle tire needs air!"
Bladeruler11 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:13:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it funny you started with the "Special Needs" but by the end said fuck it and used retarded.
Josorrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? lmao
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So on the school announcements, they have the joke of the day (week) on Fridays.
I was listening to it, and the joke was "What happens when a meteorite hits you?" (or something close to that) I said out loud "Death" and everybody started giggling.
ZAWGURN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:55:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student In Pre-K we had to draw a picture of what we would look like in 100 years. I drew a grave with my name on it and RIP
farooqkumbher ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:01:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to middle schoolers in Korea, asked: "Ok, what's another way you can express surprise in English?" (after going over expressions like, "No way!", "Are you serious?" "Are you kidding me?") Kid yells from the very back of the room: "WHAT THE FUCK!?
jholland513 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:30:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's what I usually say...
therealdeeptoot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:41:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My fiance is a preschool teacher. I recently proposed to her (SHE SAID YES!). One of her students saw the ring and said: "are you getting married?" SHE replied, "YES". The little boy then asked "are you marrying your dad?". She said "no?". The little boy seemingly upset responded "but MY mom married MY dad!".
I thought the logic was cute!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:53:54 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cheersfolks ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 02:00:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teachers don't really care whether or not the kids are smart. They care whether they work hard. It's your kindness and work ethic that determines whether a teacher likes you, not intelligence.
If you were a straight A student who was a little shit everyday I would hate you too. Not because I was 'jealous' or 'out to get you' or anything, but because there are kids there who have difficulty learning and need to actually hear what the teacher is saying.
It's them that you fucked over with your hilarious, daily antics, not the teacher. Every second the teacher spent babysitting your immaturity was a second less individual attention that the struggling students received.
Lol, apparently.
MarvelousComment ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:32:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this, i secretly hated that retard who kept trying to make everyone laugh while I was trying my best and not understanding... like shut the fuck up dude
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 02:39:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really true, many teachers are bad at teaching, don't actually like kids, and are often not very bright, meaning they don't like or understand bright kids. There should be much higher standards for who is appointed to teacher, and of course, if you can't laugh at a students joke you should not be allowed anywhere near a school.
cheersfolks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:50:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about the joke though. If that kid had told that joke at lunch time or recess, then it would have been perfectly fine. Hell, if they had at least raised their hand that would have been better. But can you really tell me that any teacher is going to love the kid shouting out shit randomly in the middle of a lesson from the back of the room?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:53:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sure as hell hope my pupils will be doing that when I start teaching next year. I'm gonna be teaching for like 50 years if I don't get someone cracking jokes i'm going to be bored out of my skull. Besides, do you think teaching is some kind of pouring action where the children open their heads and you just slide in the learning? That kind of teaching theory has been totally debunked nowadays, you want the kids to participate, be enthusiastic and involved. You don't want them to be nice and quiet and shut up. The more they do that the dumber they become. A classroom is not a Hitlerjugend situation.
cheersfolks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:07:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely the kids sitting there are listening and doing nothing else for the entire lesson would be a terrible learning situation for most students. But that's not the point of my argument.
Let's say you have an amazing lesson planned that is hands on. Your plan is to explain the activity for five minutes, including important safety information, let them work through the activity for thirty five minutes, then ten minutes at the end to share results and draw a conclusion as a group.
But then fuckhead starts interrupting you every five seconds, cracking jokes during your initial five minutes. You can't skip that part because if you do, the kids might potentially get hurt. So now you need to waste fifteen minutes, eating into your fun activity. And maybe now there isn't time for all the students, particularly the ones with more difficulty learning, to work through the activity, so they don't really get to draw the conclusion themselves, making the deductive lesson a lot less effective that it could have been.
That is what I am talking about. There is absolutely a time and place to be a goofball. It's great when kids have fun with the class and feel safe enough to take chances. During appropriate times. But having someone yelling crap constantly from the back creates a negative learning environment.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 02:16:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cheersfolks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if the teacher was the biggest mega-cunt to ever exist, that's not really pertinent on the situation or my earlier response to you.
Your last statement was that she didn't like you despite the fact that you had straight A's. I was merely pointing out the fact that a person's grades don't usually factor in when a teacher is deciding whether or not they like a student.
I then went on to state that you being a dick in class hurts your classmates. Regardless of whether or not the teacher was bitch and deserved it doesn't change the truth of that statement. Disrupting a classroom means that you have no respect for your classmates who are actually trying to learn. The teacher's competency or lack thereof doesn't change the fact that your selfish, petty ways negatively affected everyone around you.
daedalus311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's all of reddit. one person presents his/her side and its gospel without knowing anything more. Discussion isn't wanted here, for whatever reason.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My physics teacher told me about the silliest answer he ever received. He said that he was teaching Impulse and Momentum and the problem was to find an impulse. So the equation for impulse is Force*Time. A student actually wrote that the impulse was 45 Newtons *9:47AM.
mondaynightsucked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach piano to people of all ages and one day I was working with a four year old.
We were talking about the difference between loud and quiet sounds (yes, you do have to teach children these things because they mix them up with high and low sounds) and I was using a relatable example to help him understand: animal noises.
So we talked about LOUD animals and we imitated a lion how it ROARS and is very LOUD!
Then we talked about quiet animals and I asked him what sort of animals make quiet noises and we both agreed that a bird could make very quiet noises.
"Hey, Student, why don't you show me what sort of sounds a bird makes?" I asked him.
He nods and promptly goes CHIRP CHIIIRP.
shimiSupertramp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was what is 5 times 9?
The reply was at least 40.
Risla_Amahendir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL in Japan: we were doing a lesson on describing what people look like. I pulled up a picture of a fellow teacher and asked "What does [Anna] look like?" My student responded: "She has black hair. Andโฆ" and then she squinted a bit at the and continued "โฆand she has eyes."
WAFLKING ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
when I was in kindergarten a teacher asked words that start with the letter F and I think you can figure out what my answer was
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was the student.
We were discussing theories in my general biology class last semester. Obvious answer: theory of evolution, theory of relativity, etc. I raised my hand and mentioned the "theory of gravity". Her response: "Pshh, gravity isn't a theory!" And then the whole class laughed :(
flugbone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is lol
Imeansorryboss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A big ass feral cat was hiding in a hollow part of the tree, just outside the window of my classroom. I asked them what they were all staring at. One of my more froward african american students says "Idk man, go axe the tree and find out." I could't tell him to stop saying "axe" in place of "ask" because we both knew damn well if I axed the tree, I would find out what they were staring at.
GandalfTheUltraViole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly what you're looking for, but it happened just today.
Background: I'm a relief teacher, looking for full-time work. In NZ you go through a mentor program for the first two years of full-time work. I do a LOT of work at School A, and only don't have a job there because they have too many teachers currently in the second year of the mentor program (I'm in the first).
I mentioned to a teacher I was working with today that I had an interview at a School B a few suburbs over, and a student got very upset that I might not relieve at School A anymore. He asked why I didn't have full time work at School A, and I explained.
He immediately turned to his normal teacher (in the second year of the program) and told her she should apply at School B.
4567898761 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the Polish fellow who went for lumber.
Polish guy" I need a 2X12". Lumber guy : How long do you need it?. Polish guy: Forever.
Trapped_Mechanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in a board on a navy ship: "How many screws does the ship have?" (The ship's propellers. 4) "I dont know man...at least a million. "
RingRingBananaPwn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a witness. My psychology teacher asked, "what is the difference between sex and gender?" A kid responds, "sex is a verb."
deadmol3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but figured this works
I was helping my brother revise an essay. I told him it was a bit too choppy and hard to read.
His solution?
He made he font size bigger
Slow_Roll_It ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my sister works at a school. She asked her student to say all the words she could think of that start with the letter "d" in one minute. Her first word was dingleberry. Not "dog" or "dad". Dingleberry.
SuburbanStoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This may be the only ask Reddit thread that actually has the people being asked answer the questions and not 3rd parties
youguesseditsonny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a company trainer so I teach adults and teenagers about pretty much everything... ground up.. One day I asked my newest class to tell me what ways you can show integrity in the work place..keep in mind this class' oldest was 17.. expecting something like 'doing the job right when no one is watching' like I usually get. The oldest said 'Don't eat other people's food in the breakroom fridge just because you know no one will know who did it'
Vengeance9149 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but I remember one of our assignments was to write an essay about "If I were the President of the United States...." and my friend wrote on her paper "I could never be president, I'm Canadian".
ThatOneHistoryBuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:06:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the teacher, but my history teacher would pick a few test papers he saw funny or had really good answers, my past friend being the class clown put down for the question
"Describe the first world war in your own words" and he put
"It was like my ex, a mess and a living hell".
Medarco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my microbiology class, the prof often had unrelated bonus questions on his quizzes. This is at a Christian school, keep in mind.
One April quiz, the bonus asked what holiday fell in exactly 2 weeks. I did the math and it was 4/20... I knew there was no way my 70 year old private Christian University prof wanted "national weed day" as the answer, but I couldn't come up with anything else. Multiple other students confirmed submitting marijuana day as their answer.
Yeah, it was Easter...
vheissu417 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's one but reversed. My mom is a Spanish teacher, she's lived the past 30+ years at this point in the USA. She was born in Colombia. Anyways there's always still been a bit of a learning curve for her. So one day in class some kids are flinging rubber bands across the room at each other. My mom seeing this says "who's throwing those rubbers" The whole class laughed and she had a great story for the dinner table that night.
jim_the_joke_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student was asked to use the word fascinate in a sentence. He said, "My sister got a new sweater with ten buttons, but her tips are so big she could only fasin eight."
That is part of a slightly longer joke, not something that actually happened to me. If your still not sure see user name.
tberock_2020 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Class talks about the Lottery's gruesome death; kid makes a connection: this is just like in an episode of Spongebob where squidward's house was sacrificed in a volcano. He wasn't wrong but it was so left field haha
RayDonger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elementary Teacher Wife Story.
Teacher: "Name a living thing." Student: "A Chair." Teacher "Why is a chair a living thing?" Student "It has four legs!"
MrBoognish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was once in woodshop class and the teacher asked me "what do we have here?". My response "wood" when the correct answer technically was one of the drawers for the dresser I was working on. Didn't realize I was being a smart ass till after he had moved on.
whatafatkid12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a Cold War quiz, question was something like: Why did the Soviet Union become more open to Western ideas and more friendly with the USA during the 1980s?
He wrote: "Because the Soviets stopped being pricks"
saintandrewsfall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asking my high schoolers...
Me: "What was something you didn't like to eat as a kid, but like to eat now?" Student: "Cat."
quasielvis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This question is just asking for /r/thathappened style memes.
harmonylane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This.
The target word was "come". The directions said "find it". So he did.
samm8888 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I once sat in on my baby sister's kindergarten class and that day they were introducing the school counselor and trying to explain what the counselor does. And the counselor proceeds to say, "If you ever feel like you are scared or hurt, come talk to me." Obviously referring to bullying or family abuse or something. And my baby sister immediately raises her hand, which causes all the blood to drain from my face. And you could see the counselor was very alarmed, but my sister continues to say, "This morning, I saw a bug on the bus. And I was scared."
slow_marathon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old one, I apologize if it has been posted recently.
An linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
FallonsReach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I peer tutored a bunch of kids that were in a class called Linear. It basically means they dont have the same learning/reading/writing skills of those the same so they get put in a extended class that combines either Math and Science or English and Socials.
We had one student, bless his heart was a smartass and had lazy tendencies but most of it was because he was reading at a grade 3 level in grade 9. On one particular occasion the teacher called on him to answer a question about greek history and he replied with 4 answers and told the teacher to pick one.
"What are the greeks most known for?"
"Well... Theres art, chariots, bathing naked with animal fats and oils and ummm that other thing you said. Which one is the best answer?"
The_Thesaurus_Rex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: what's a Perpetuum Mobile? A: the pope's car.
Teh_Dusty_Babay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but once in high school somebody said "holy crap." I went to a private Christian school, so the teacher of course took offense. She retorted, "crap is not holy!" The smartest kid in our class, who graduated valedictorian and all, said, "it is if it came out of Jesus." mic drop Teacher had CBF and turned around and kept teaching.
Scoriae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In English class, the teacher asked, "What is 'down the street'?" (like, as a part of a sentence). My friend responded "It depends which way you go."
TCsnowdream ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After reading The Lottery:
(Half the class is stunned, having just finished it. The other half clearly thought the story was boring and gave up before the end.)
Me: "OK, class, so, for those of you who made it to the end, what happened to the woman?"
Kid: "She was murdered!! I didn't see that coming..."
Me: "Well, she was stoned to death, why context clues can we gather from the story as to why they'd stone someone to death?"
Other kid: "Mr. Yuki, you can't die from getting stoned."
...aaaaaaand that was the limit of my (and most of the students') professionalism.
PisEqualToNP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Please briefly explain how merge sort works. A: It is an algorithm used for sorting numbers by merging.
Q: Write a high-level algorithm to find 3rd smallest number in a binary search tree. A: while not done: traverse the tree
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3rd world studies class. Talking about exports from Jamaica. Ask what the biggest ones are. "Bananas" "coffee" "...jerk chicken"
bpastore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"In how many states can matter exist?"
"All 50"
jmoney6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but story from my mom who teaches 9-12th grade special ed in an under privelaged neighborhood in South Florida. 2 students talking Student A (SA) Student b (SB) SA to SB: Go fuck yourself. SB: what did you just say to me? SA: I said go FACK yourself. SB: god your stupid it's FUCK, right Mrs. Jmoney6's mom. My mom: yeah he's right.
RealFakeDoors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine is a math teacher. On a test there was a question that asked the students to "Name this polygon". One student answered "Bob".
eww_skydrol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"An igneous rock is a type of rock that if you were to go somewhere, you would find it"
Soul_M ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really the teacher but the one answering.
Teacher: So what materials are needed to build around the aircraft to prevent fires from spreading?
Me: Fireproof materials
leeesh88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why did you drink rubbing alcohol?"
"Because my friend told me it was a strawberry"
(Edit to clarify: We technically did just do a DNA extraction experiment on a strawberry...)
Amapel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had an assignment in social studies where he was supposed to find something that represented the average day of a farmer and attach it to a poster. So while other students glued seeds or grain to their poster, he rubbed it in the dirt and handed it in. Little shit got 3/5 too.
bananas_are_green ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this is something that happened to me. In high school we had this history teacher who always acted hip and liked to joke around a lot. So one time in class we were talking how everything's on a computer nowadays and he asked the class if anyone knew who was in the news recently for hacking into the US military's databases via computer. Having rewatched Transformers recently, I thought he was making a joke and I raised my hand and answered "the Decepticons." Turns out it was an actual thing that happened and the answer he was looking for was China.
Misledz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the indian system we have tons of follow up questions that is based off the first question, it's a nightmare for kids but the system loves the torture. It asked "What are the 4 major caste systems" and the answer was "not sure", the follow up questions had "Refer to 1A answer"
mrsbabyllamadrama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What is an overarching theme of Antigone?" "Dem hoes is depressin"
fuulynn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: Arrange the fractions 5/6, 7/8, 6/7, 8/9 in ascending order. Answer: 5/6, 6/7, 7/8, 8/9 or 8/9, 7/8, 6/7, 5/6 Technically that's not wrong I guess...
mleroy1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lovely, well-mannered, top of the class kid pleading with me at the end of a test to have her paper back to change something. Of course I didn't let her.
For the question "Name one bio-fuel." she had written "Plants/Shit."
EDIT: Found the picture I took of it. http://imgur.com/W9c8eE9
yabegue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a technology exam once, the question was: ''Can X be used on Y? Why?''
My answer: ''No, because based on how the question is asked, I feel like the answer is not Yes.''
I got half of the points ;)
Vexing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked what an "if statement" was, and they wrote "If."
get-finch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine told me his daughter on her first day of a new school was in a history class and the teacher was talking about the Battle of Hastings and wanted to know who was the leader of the Normans. She was very tempted to shout out "William the Bastard" but didn't know how to teacher would react so went with "William of Normandy" or the like.
creepbg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:08:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in university studying Drama the following exchange took place for all our theater history lessons in the first term:
Lecturer: Who was (name of practitioner)?
Student: A man/woman.
Lecturer:OK, but what did they do?
Student: They died.
JeParle_AMERICAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were playing trivia and the teacher asked "What is the 'City of Brotherly Love?'" and I shouted "San Francisco!" .. she cried laughing and I was embarrassed and confused. It took me a long time to figure out my mistake.
Starkiez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:31:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But classmate.
Male teacher: John? John: Yes honey?
Class erupted into laughter.
trevbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
awww man, this is going to be excellent to see on facebook when knowable steals it in a few months...
jeterdoge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my brother's own answer for a test:
Q: What did Lewis and Clark discover? A: A lot.
That's been a running joke in my family for a decade.
Knighthawk1114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What is a use of iron and what properties of it support this?
A: Paperweight because its heavy.
iZzzyXD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but one my brother pulled. In geography class the teacher asks: "Where is the largest part of the population?", about regional differences in population density. To which my brother replied: "Six feed under."
mmecca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:20:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a kid to compare the surfaces of an unglazed coil pot to a glazed one. He said the unglazed one "looks like dirt". Well... you're not entirely wrong.
Urghgh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:25:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once went to my little brothers teacher, to talk about his grades and such. It was all good, but the teacher told me and my mum that my little brother often asks her very strange/weird questions from time to time. My mum and I didn't really know what she was talking about so she gave an example: My little brother (around 7 years old at the time) had a little math (calculation) test. And one of the questions was a simple one like for example, "John went to the mall to buy 2 jackets, one costs โฌ 15 and the other one โฌ 20, he pays with a โฌ 50 bill, how many euros does John get in return?"... so as you can see, not much to ask about, but my little brother raises his hand to ask a question and asks the teacher, in all seriousness: "About the jackets .. are they jackets you can wear during the autumn, or more like winter jackets?" Me and my mother started laughing so hard because he has never does this at home. He's 15 now, and as normal as a 15-year old can be, but it's something that I won't be forgetting ever because he's my little bro, love him and I keep teasing him about it from time to time
Tommy_C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in algebra II sophomore year, teacher was balancing an equation on the board. He asked, "and what do we do to the left hand side?" Without hesitation kid responds "pass the dutchie".
jmr85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:31:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the first lessons I ever taught as a qualified teacher, about antibacterial resistance...
Me: "Can anyone give me an example of a superbug?"
15 year-old student, quick as a flash: "Spider-Man, Sir!"
JLR- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked for an example of a liquid. Kid said water
Asked for an example of a gas. Kid farted.
spidermonkeyyy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q : Give me an example of a type of tissue.
A : Kleenex
yuenadan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching in Taiwan, I wanted to explain how language travels from one country to another. I asked "Why do they speak English in Canada?" A girl immediately raised her hand and exclaimed "Oh I know! Because Canada don't know Chinese!"
Blue_Three ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:04:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Earth, fire, wind and water."
First day of Chemistry class, in reply to the question if anybody can explain what the elements are.
metubialman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My students were writing an extended response questions (where 10-year-olds are asked to fill an entire page with information... yay, standardized testing...) and the question was about fractions. The part A was to solve a problem using equivalent fractions. Part B said to use pictures and words to show how you know your answer is correct...
One of my kids drew a picture of him sitting at his table and me standing in front of the board. He drew speech bubbles of his table discussing a similar question and of me telling them which student was correct. Then he wrote, "I know my answer is correct because we talked about this same problem in class and my teacher told us we were correct."
Technically not wrong. Technically did what the question asked of him. I couldn't mark it wrong, but I did write a note that next time his pictures and word explanations should focus on the math concepts that prove it. :)
Stereoparallax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that you wouldn't want to say that technically, something isn't correct just because the teacher said it is.
DoYouEvenNep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:23:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IQ Test for a 6-year old student.
A can of Campbells soup was given to the student to inspect, and was then asked to say what the object was.
The student responds with "Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup".
"Umm, it's Campbells Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup?".
Want_To_Live_To_100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife was a TA for Biology in College (University). This was the bonus question, "Sperm travel from the _____ through the _____ into the _____." Oh dear god the best response was you guessed it. "Testes, Vas Defferens, Vagina" Never had more fun grading a stack of papers with my wife!
lucastalucasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12th grade English. I asked the students to explain the steps for doing something, literally anything they know how to do (a free writing essay prompt). One kid wrote:
The steps for doing something 1. Make sure that something is appropriate 2. Ask for permission to do it 3. Take the process seriously
TheDreamr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a witness to this hilarity. It was our social sciences class. The teacher used to be a very boring one. It seemed as if she herself has no interest in teaching, and was there just for the sake of being there.
She finished the chapter, and asked : "Okay class, does anyone have any problem?"
A voice came from the very back of room: "We have problem with you!"
The class burst out laughing, obviously the voice had everyone's sentiments put in.
The teacher had a confused look in her face, and her eyes were struggling to find where the voice came from.
_Yx_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked them to sign in on MIT's Scratch. In the birthday form (MM/DD/YYYY), one of them tried to write "SATURDAY"
iliketurtulzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching about Easter at a Catholic school.
Me: "On Easter Sunday, Jesus rises from the dead. It's called the Resurrection."
Student: "Wait, so Jesus is a zombie?!"
.... kind of!
dnamax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a 3rd grade geometry exam: "Can you see the transformation that maps shape A to shape A'?" Student: Yes
Michi__u ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach kindergarten in South Korea. I was teaching my six year olds about punctuation marks.
I drew a question mark on the board and asked the class what it was. One of my smartest students raises his hand and excitedly answers, "that is a ketchup mark!" Then I drew giant quotation marks on the board, the same kid raises his hand and just as excitedly yells, "those are potato marks!"
allamericangirl22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: What's the capital of Tennessee? 2nd grader: T
DDiski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was how to put out a Forrest fire and what do you take away. One student had the idea of putting a huge dome over the forrest so that the oxygen would run out
hailynfai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a test about the book Holes I had a third grader who answered "shit went bad" to the instruction "write a summary of what happened in the chapter"
the_real_coinboy66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but when I was teaching English in China debating whether there was life after death, all of the students strongly agreed that there was none, except for one who strongly disagreed. He felt there was life after death because, "If a tree dies, maybe some mushrooms will grow on it."
"Er....um, yeah I guess that's a fair point. Hm."
d-101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently a teacher but this one relates back to my childhood. I didn't want to do a math assignment in second grade and so I wrote for every answer "I don't want to do this." Or something similar. My teacher laughed her ass off and called a parent/teacher conference with my mom to show her what I did. The teacher was like "while this may technically be true I can't award any credit and he'll need to redo the assignment."
WhovianMomma21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but evidently when I was in preschool or kindergarten my school gave me an eye exam and since we were little we did pictures instead of letters. In the middle of the test there was one picture I couldn't quite figure out at first and after sitting for a minute thinking I suddenly started grinning and proudly stated "It's a butt!" The nurse looked at the picture and started laughing. She told me it was meant to be an apple, but I wasn't wrong, it definitely looked like a butt!
Penetrator_Gator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think i'm gonna toot my own horn here. I can't remember this, but i met some of my moms friends some time ago and we started to talk about me in school. And they told me about one time we where gonna draw our stuffed animal. I ended up drawing a big paw and i said the reason why was because it was to big to fit onto a paper.
Iron-Clad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids
elia_rampage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher and I technically only got half credit for this, but on an English test it said conjunction with a line beside it where I was supposed to summarize the meaning. Instead I wrong 'conjunction junction what's your function' Proudest half credit I ever received
CalDemps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was still in school, in biology class, the teacher asked why do women have to consume less calories and a fellow pupil shouted-out "Because it goes straight to their hips!"
ElMorales ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:55:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Puerto Rico we have a chain of supermarkets called "Mr. Special". The topic was common and proper nouns. The student was supposed to provide the common noun for each of the proper nouns on the exercise. The exercise said -Mr. Special- he was supposed to write supermarket and instead he thought Mr. special was the name of a teacher so he wrote teacher as his answer. Technically the student wasn't wrong. Mr. Special-teacher.
tribblemethis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you ensure that livestock is well cared for?"
"You make sure they're healthy."
ThePancakeChair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:19:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but as a student I had a Rube Goldberg machine project with a required minimum number of energy transfers and minimum time to operate. It was really hard to make simple energy transfers consume much time, so I ended up conceiving the idea of sending a text to myself as the first step, and the phone's vibration when receiving the text made it move down a ramp and initiate the actual energy transfers. So the idea was that sending the text was step 1 of the machine, and the time it took to send and receive the text counted as part of the process (averaged around 30-40s). The science teacher actually let it pass, because he didn't already have any rule against it. Personally (secretly) i disagreed that it was a proper transfer of energy, but i figured hey if he's cool with it then i am. The following year, every student in that class heard about my project and pulled that same trick. He had to impose a rule from then on where phones couldn't be used (nowdays, though, the loopholes are probably a lot more complicated with various electronic devices available)
Jim_Hawking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once did a fish dissection with some high school biology students. I asked the question "how do you think the fish died?" I was hoping for answers about freezing (true cause) due to observed constricted blood vessels or disease/cancer due to enlarged organs in some fish. The most common answer was 'the teacher killed it'
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were talking about marriage in an english language course. After everybody said something, a silence happened for a few seconds. Then teacher asked a new question "what're the advantages of marriage?" and one guy said "free sex"
HesitatedEye ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Optimistic fellow wasn't he?
eastcoastfarmergirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Kindergarten teacher, mine is not a direct question, more of a response. One Friday my co-teacher says "TGIF." A student redponds "No, no, it's A,B,C,D."
matt5000100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When talking about the war in Iraq, student was asked what type of weapons of mass destruction were used. He responded with tanks
kate282 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Former student teacher here.
Me: Name a native Australian animal.
8 year old: A leprechaun!
GetBusy09876 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school, a classmate turned in a book report that somehow leaked to the rest of us. "Animal Farm is a very stupid story because everyone knows that animals can't talk." (Her nickname was Airhead Darlene.)
ChaplnGrillSgt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a social studies teacher that was super cool an& encouraged us to think creatively. The instructions on the test said "Circle the correct answer" so one kid drew a circle around the entire page. He got a 100% on the test.
Next test read "Circle ONLY the correct answer"
rfox71rt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. Took a girl to homecoming sophomore year and we, along with a bunch of other people, went to a semi nice restaurant for dinner. She orders a steak and the waiter asks how she would like it cooked.
"On a grill."
LPT: never laugh so hard you offend your date, no matter how funny you think it is.
mermaidhairdontcare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:17:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach english in Spain and i asked them to translate the names of family members to english. Ex: hermana > sister and so on. They were having a hard time translating tia to aunt so i game them a big hint: that the last three letters were U-N-T. One student gave me here quiz with the word C-U-N-T. great fun
StaticXombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
,รwee1 1Aprdfpdqkqpqr1prrq
Rabbit929 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name an external conflict in The Great Gatsby.
Response: "She a ho."
areolaebola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:22:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me (reading Hamlet with a group of 12th graders): "What does Laertes say to Ophelia before he leaves for college?"
Student: "It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter."
SaavikSaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how funny this is but it's a true story. I was in high school and Shakespeare was not my favorite person to read. The homework assignment was to read a page or two of some play, which I dutifully did. The next day there was a pop quiz on it, and to my horror, I literally did not remember a single thing about what I had read.
So that's what I put down on the paper and turned it in. "Mrs. So-and-so, I swear to you that I read this assignment, but I have no idea what the answers are to any of these questions."
She gave partial credit, though I had answered nothing. She wrote, "I appreciate your honesty, but next time make sure you understand the material you are reading."
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that her responsibility? She is the one teaching it. I might have understood if she asked you to kindly try and focus on the reading next time so you at least remember it.
SaavikSaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:07:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure the failure was mine, not hers. I made sure to read the passages more than once the rest of that class to make sure I figured out what was happening in the scenes.
shithead33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: What are the pros and cons of communism?
10th grade student : CYKA BLYAT
Sansred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ELI5
shithead33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:40:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CYKA BLYAT is Russian for Fuck/Bitch and is typically used to make fun of Russians/ Slav men it's like saying WATAMELOWN when making fun of blacks
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:28 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hallucinating leading the blin here...
Sansred ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:44:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Thank you.
shithead33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:44:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No prob friend
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A classmate of mine writing about Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" argued that the choice the poet had to make when he came across a fork in the road in a woods could be compared to choosing to have alternative forms of marital relations, i.e. taking the road less traveled. He had read the theory online and got a great kick out of it so decided to write about the theory in his final year of exams. The corrector, an old Irish (traditionally minded) woman was appalled and threatened the student with harsh sanctions due to the inappropriate sexual content of his writing. But in fairness to the guy, poetry is open to interpretation and my friend did back up his point very well, therefore could not be considered wrong. Only to an unenlightened/conservative mind perhaps. He appealed the sanctions and after a review by the local board of education, nothing came of the threat.
i_suck_at_swimming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am teacher, but story is my response from 6th grade.
Y2K rolling around and my health teacher asks the class if anyone knows what Y2K stands for. At about this time, Kia was doing a commercial for their new millennium car or something and their slogan was "Yes 2 Kia". I had not yet made the connection between Y2K and Year 2000. So I rose my hand and answered, "Yes 2 Kia?" with complete sincerity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
technically right,
AP 1 quiz: while playing soccer Sally tackles a defender illegally, you can clearly see a lower portion of the proximal epiphysis of Sally's tibia is now sticking out of her leg. what kind of fracture does she have? if her epiphyseal plate has not fully ossified what could be the worst result?
(I expect a merely mention of limited bone growth, but as an example of one of my class mnemonics from epiphysis to diaphysis is- Evidently Real People Have Careers, Dave.. I should have expected this answer:
Sally has a compound fracture. she will have 1. a shorter leg
2. an empty dance card
3. regret, but more reading time & better grades
4. eventual academic success, despite her limp.
euro_swag_wagon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is gonna get buried but worth a try
In 1st grade we had district assessments for math. There was two columns one for what we did and one for why we did it. For the why we did it i wrote because my teacher told me. I was in 1st grade i regret nothing
Kighla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The funniest answer I get all day every day is "Ms. Kighla, you told me to do it" after I scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR SEAT" or "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY STUFF" at them ... :') It happens so often the kids don't even get upset anymore. Some kids will write notes and date it with a timestamp to prove when I said things..
colorstoobright ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shared this in another thread, but my sister in law had my then 2 year old nephew tested for learning disabilities. The doctor would ask "Where's the ______?" and my nephew had to point to where in the room it was.
When the doctor asked where's the birdie, my nephew pointed to his penis, as birdie is tagalog slang for dick.
girliegirl1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but we had to grade our classmates quizzes in health class. There was a question on male side effects from steroids. Smaller testicles was the answer, my classmate wrote "small balls". I just let that one go :D
InaBorx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this counts. Not a teacher but my senior year I had a bad habit of coming in a little bit after the bell. Finally, my teacher (who was an awesome guy btw) asked me and why were you late this time? I answered very honestly with "My car wouldn't go fast enough." My car was a 4-cylinder car that honestly wasn't that fast. So, I sat down in my seat everyone in my class cracking up and my poor teacher was up front with his head down giggling and trying not to. He finally looked up at me and had a look of you got me on his face then said next time I will have to write you up for being late.
Famicomer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but witnessed this at a speaking test.
Teacher: "Do you usually celebrate your birthday with your friends or with your family?" Student: "Yes."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but some kid in my class said "What's the difference between a quiz and Test?" And somebody replied "the spelling" and the teacher goes "well you're not wrong"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
14? Ehhh...
usual_throwaway5643 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student.
Intro to physics, professor asks what factors are used to determine how much speeding tickets are.
I responded with, if you're driving through construction zone or not.
Because you know....fines are doubled.
Everyone laughed.
azvlr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6th grade water cycle discussion (evaporation, clouds, rain) - a kid blurted out, "Is heaven in the clouds?" Being public school and all, I responded "Well, some people, if they are religious, believe that heaven is in the clouds." His response, "I'm not religious. I'm Catholic!" So wrong or so right depending on your perspective.
Nonpareil090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:12 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a classmate of mine in high school calc responded in the following manner.
Teacher;(explaining that e is an irrational number) asks "What is e"
Classmate; MC2
What made it funny is that he wasn't wrong, but it was wrong.
rockhardballoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:54 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mama said that...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:35 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it just me, or are half of the teachers on Reddit just English teachers in South Korea?
Pewpewpanda88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:05:43 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an 11th grade physics quiz I asked "why can't you hear anything in space?" One student replied "because it's so far away."
Definitely should have worded that question better...
Miqueagul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:19 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who won the civil war? "America"
Mickeydawg1311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:23 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A girl in my high school thought that XING (abbreviation for crossing) was a word pronounced ZING. As in "Deer ZING." Or "School ZING." It made sense to her as she explained. "You want the deer to ZING across the road. Right?"
picklingacucumber247 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:13:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I answered this on a science test this year.
Question: What can scientists assume when attempting to date rocks?
My answer: Some BS about how they can vary depending on the surrounding rock. And sometimes when you are trying to attempt to date someone they lead you on and act like they want to be dated, until one day you take a step forwards and boom! Out of nowhere rejection. He gave me 100 on that test because it was funny to him and I think he felt bad for me. (Because I had just learned that lesson)
themannamedme ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:22:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He felt bad because you're retarded.
picklingacucumber247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really, he's a pretty shit science teacher. Basically everyone is either hating that class cause he doesn't know shit or loving it cause he doesn't know shit...
themannamedme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that carbon fating is fairly accurate right?
picklingacucumber247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I just go to a conservative Christian school and have to "agree" with all the bullshit they teach...
WilliamifyXD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost got a saturday for saying I was an atheist.
picklingacucumber247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explain; what is this "Saturday" you speak of?
WilliamifyXD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saturday detention. They basically pull you out of saturday sports (mandatory ;-;) and put you into a detention room.
picklingacucumber247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. Yeah, we just had normal detentions. (An hour after school.)
themannamedme ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:23:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what they "teach" in Christian schools now?
And they say those schools are better than the public ones?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
krikite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not rebellious, you're an idiot.
picklingacucumber247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rebellious sounds better though.
pjabrony ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:49:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you're trying to date a rock, don't just look down at the cleavage.
Ryuuzoji ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... when dating a rock, don't look at the boulders?
picklingacucumber247 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, well, but, she said, I thought, it seemed like, her ex said, why not?
fitzlurker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's spathic!
Hates_escalators ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gneiss joke.
zinaparo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:37:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English learners at our elementary. I mainly work with first and second grade. For this particular assignment I had asked them to draw something they like to do in their native country. I collect all the work and notice that Ronaldo turns a blank paper in. Ronaldo was famous for never doing his homework. So I sarcastically say "Ronaldo I love your picture care to explain what your drawing is..." little bugger get up and tell us it's a drawing of a cow eating grass. I then ask so where is the cow and the grass? Because all I see is a blank paper. Without hesitation he replies "look Mr. S what happen is that the cow eat the grass, and the cow is using the bathroom that's why you don't see her." Needless to say I gave him full credit.
Hates_escalators ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:05:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cows don't need privacy to do business, trust me. I see it all the time.
lovevodkaorthesea ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:42:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were learning about New France and I was explaining how people thought Canada to be a penal colony.
The student thought I said "penile." Technically he wasn't wrong. That is why they brought the Filles du Roi over.
melaniaaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prompt: Name a kind of crop
Answer: weed
Back when I taught elementary students. :-)
maralieus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:20:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sex ed teacher once was talking about gay sex and a student chimed in with "what happens if the guy farts?" Her answer was "go to the office!"
monsterjrg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student.
I was swearing in the middle of class and the teacher told me to watch my mouth. Without even thinking about who was telling me this, I blurted out "my eyes can't go down far enough"
Everyone laughed, I got in school suspension.
flannelshirt92 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in high school I had a history teacher that was really laid back. So a friend of mine who had this teacher before said he just wrote a thank you note for the semester and have a good year instead of writing the actual essay on the final. I did the same thing the next year. Got an A on the final.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:09:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
flannelshirt92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just can't let them know. Gotta let the students figure it out. Also my teacher was lazy and liked he didn't have to grade the same thing again
bp_516 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:32:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What technological inventions by the ancient Chinese impacted the history of war?
A: A big wall.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my speech delayed toddler was asked "What sound does the dog make?" he started to pant and made the "hah hah hah" sound.. teacher said "technically he is correct" never been so proud. lol
SheepskinCamo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:37:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Logic problems with 2nd graders. We were reversing "no" statements:
Me: "No cows are purple, so?"
Kid1: "Nothing purple is a cow!"
Me: "Good. No 3rd graders are absent so?"
Kid2: "No one absent is a 3rd grader!"
Me: "Nice! Cars cannot fly, so?"
Kid3 with much confidence and certainty: "Flies cannot car!!!!!"
Flies can't car though, so this is true, just not valid based on the conditions of the no statement. I still laugh thinking about it.
1shenanigans1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History teacher: "What ended in 1945."
A witty student: "Sir im pretty sure the answer is 1944."
Pokecrafter88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well a story from my experiences as a student was for the question: what has hands but cant clap. The answer was of course a clock, but it didnt stop my friend from writing a paralyzed person. Another answer we came up with after the fact is a t-rex. One i perasonally did for the question: who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Well thats clearly spongebob but it didnt stop me from writing " A lonely fish stuck inside of a pineapple"
cdimock72 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once answered the question "What is government not?" With "Bananas"
costantinople ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: Name something that is around 12 inches long. A: a ruler
natos20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it was a guy, he really missed a good chance there
costantinople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but I teach 2nd grade, so I'm glad all they said was a ruler!
Akmuq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I'm still pretty pissed at this. I was probably 9 or 10 at the time and we had to answer questions about some random short story we read. The question was phrased "Can you think of something else the main character could have done" or something like that to which I simply replied "No, I can't".
Asshole teacher marked it as incorrect.
GettingFreki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:22:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "not a teacher" and I wasn't even in the class, but my friend was the one to give the answer:
Jesuit high school, priest who could not look more like Santa was teaching a theology course to seniors and posed the question "Why do so many children in Africa die at such a young age?"
My friend raises his hand, gets called on, and with a completely straight face replies "Natural selection."
that_sara ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:24:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This past Friday one of my 9th grade boys was standing on the heating unit along the wall, sitting on the window (the kind that opens like a flap downwards).
He pulls weird crap all the time, so I angrily asked what I thought was a rhetorical question: "Why the hell are you sitting on the window?"
He answered: "Because I had to fart, miss."
Quite considerate, really.
bobzor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked on a quiz "what was the last step you performed before leaving lab?" expecting a technique. The student answered "cleaned my bench". Technically that was the last step of the protocol so I gave credit.
carlplaysstuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:58:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an 11th grade reading comprehension quiz about The Crucible or Macbeth (it was one of the ones about witches, okay!) we were asked "What is a greymalkin?"
I responded "a crossbreed between a whitemalkin and a blackmalkin" and got full credit with a smiley face.
Turns out it's just a witch's cat.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. My mom does home day care.
I walk out of my room past the bathroom the day care kids use. The door pops open and a little girl exclaims "I LOST MY PENIS!" While I can normally handle any problem they throw at me, I pause. turn, And yell 'MOM! YOU NEED TO COME OVER HERE. [GIRL NAME] LOST HER PENIS!" I then calmly walk down stairs. As my Mom walks past me up the stairs she quietly says "We read a book this morning about the different parts of boys and girls."
Me: "Your problem, not mine."
Spider-Mike23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the progress of getting a teaching degree so I can become a English teacher. I have 3 children of my own. Not necessarily teaching related but I'm planning to become a teacher soo I'll use a good one my kid pulled....
4yr old: "mike can I have some juice?"
Me: "I'm dad, and yes"
Pouring juice for him
4yr old: "no your names mike! Mom told me your name so I knew what to call you!"
Me: "k, whatever yea it's mike, but I'm your dad, so call me dad."
4yr old: "no.....your name is mike and that's is what you do, I call people by their names at school, (pre school). Dad not even a name for having a kid! Baby's who can't father (said it kinda funny himself) say dad. So I I don't have to call you dad!"
We have a stare down moment....hand him his cup
Me: "take your dang juice."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a teacher who said if you wrote your name on it and turned it in you automatically got 1 point per question. So the shittiest you could do was like 20% as long as you showed up, and didnt write something incredibly stupid(if the answer was too wrong you lost the point for the q)
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:07 on May 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YDI for pointing it out ahead of time... might've worked if you had written that on the test instead of pointing it out.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My quick response prompt was: "write about a favorite gift you have ever received." Student: my favorite gift was when my dad took me to the strip club.
I teach 8th graders.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My student, who was 11 in 2011, tries to tell me that her mother grew up in the 1950s.
Me: <Student>, do you know when the 1950s were?
Student: When there were still black and white people!
Be it speaking racially, on television or in predominating attitudes, she was still right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She could have been telling the truth. Her mum could've been born in like 1954 and then, she'd be 46 in 2000, which is tricky, but not impossible.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fair call. Unfortunately for her, I knew her mum. Mum wasn't a spring chicken by that point, but there was no way she was 50 either.
(Kid also had a brother three years younger.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, maybe she was born in the '50s, but grew up in the '60s? Like 1959? Sometimes age can be tough to tell.
craic_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:28 on May 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cousin whose wife gave birth at ages 48 and 51. Not unheard of.
bannsir2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach in Korea and our lesson today was about saying "Don't give up" and I did a little lesson on "OMG" which my students say all the time. I asked them what are some other ways to say "OMG" and my talkative troublemaker said "OH SHIT". It's not a swear here, obviously, but it still took me off guard and a solid minute to regain my composure. This 14 year old kid just said "Oh shit" in the classroom and the teacher laughed about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Sweden, students swear all the time at school, and nobody cares.
K1ngMoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:25:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach math, and I asked the question, "What is another way to say 1/8th?" Student answers, "3.5". I found it really difficult to hold in the laughter.
DJ_Hamster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:28:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I dumb for not getting it?
K1ngMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:22 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3.5g of weed is 1/8th of an ounce
shokalion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:38:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a story I heard from someone I know who is one, and has been for getting on for fifteen years now. From the UK.
This kid was being dead serious too. Explanation.
JOETHEHERMAPHRO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a preschool where I helped teach 3-5 year olds how not to be assholes. There was this one kid, one of the older boys at 5, he was always the troublemaker. So one day he takes a little Lego house he worked super hard on and throws it at a younger girl, who is 3, and makes her cry. I rush over, but the little girls sister decks the little guy. Like straight up little person world star. Being a preschool "teacher" I had to explain to them why what they did was wrong.
Me: Why is it okay for you to hit people bud? Lil boy: yells indiscriminately * Me: *turns to adorable little girl Why did you think it was okay to hit him? You knew he was going to get in trouble. Lil girl: Mr. Joe you were going to put him in time out. That's not fair. He hurt my sissy. I needed to hurt him
So I gave her a significantly lowered time out. Cuz I agreed a bit.
quiteffrankly10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was the older boy ever reprimanded for his actions or a cause found? Not saying you weren't doing your job, I just like to see bullies get justice XD
JOETHEHERMAPHRO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:54:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I put the boy in time out longer than necessary cuz the two little girls were my favorites lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you admit to favouritism and a biased authority? I hope you never get a job where you have authority over anyone ever again.
irlandes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:04:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the early eighties, a bishop visit my wife's primary school in a small Irish town in the Midlands. As you might imagine, a great fuss was made about it with all the children in their best clothes and behaviour, etc. The bishop visited all the classrooms and ended the visit addressing all the children and staff at the nearby Parish Hall. He told the children the story of the prodigal son, and finished it asking: "And who wasn't happy to see the prodigal son return?". After a few seconds of silence, an 8 year old shyly raised his hand and, in a hopeful tone, said: "The fattest cow?".
Valkrie29 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:47:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From an old grade school teacher of mine: She gave students a paper that asked to BOX the correct answer. After she recieved the papers at the end of the test, she obviously started marking them. One student got zero, but his paper was horribly crumpled up and wrinkled. So she asked him, "Why is your paper so crumpled?" And his reply was to mime punching the paper again and again.
He looks at her and says, " Mrs. Z, I really did try. I kept boxing and boxing the paper but you still gave me 0."
P.S. I lied. The kid was me...
mtdewninja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:30:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a friend of mine had an extra credit question on a Biology test that read "What is the only 100% effective means of birth control?" His answer was "Homosexuality." It still kinda bothers me that he didn't get credit for that.
ranknerok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in high school, we had this same extra credit question on a biology class test. My best friend at the time wrote "World of Warcraft."
goodestteacher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:12:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More of a question than an answer. I was discussing how we always need to be wearing safety glasses in the shop when any tool was on, even if you weren't the one using the tool, as things can unintentionally go flying. We agreed that losing an eye was not worth it, when a student asked "Is it safe to say the eyes are the groin of the face?"
itsonlyliz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My students were learning about the Renaissance and how humanism affects art. They have to determine why the Virgin Mary by Da Vinci was different. The answer is that is painted her as a young woman.
My student wrote: "he painted her before she had Jesus."
I explained that Jesus was in the painting. She insisted that was Mary's other kid. I explained Mary was a virgin when she had Jesus.
Kid: "wait... How did she get pregnant?"
Me: "the holy Spirit"
Kid 2: "MARY WAS RAPED BY GOD?!?!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZCreator97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dafuq
sarkie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:53:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend was asked to do an assignment on Aliens or UFOs.
She presented to the class her assignment on Mexicans crossing the US border.
Servo_au_Barca ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:48:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I made part of the joke in class(criminal Justice, Senior Year)
Teacher talking about misdemeanors when it came to driving.
Classmate interjects: "But it's mainly old people that I see speeding."
Me(just loud enough for everyone to hear): "That's because they're trying to get to where they need to go before they die."
Silence for like 2 seconds and then laughing. This probably sounds cooler in my head than wrote down, but it was a highlight of that class.
KaraWolf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty funny written down too.
Servo_au_Barca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks you very much.
hippiestyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late but... as a student teacher: Me: You know I write your report card, right? He: Oh, shit! (He was right.)
almondnight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked the kids what is in a lava lamp. One of the kids say "its filled with lava...and its in a lamp"
I don't know whether to facepalm myself or either congrats that kid for the obvious lol
Land_War_in_Asia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a correct answer, but funny nevertheless: Today in class I was writing out some lines of poetry on the board for us to scan for rhythm and meter. The next line of the poem was "the nuts are getting brown," and I was just saying the words as I wrote them. In the pause before I said the last word, while I was writing a student said:
"Swollen"
Emcee_Hero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 6th grade I once said A.D. Stood for after dinosaurs technically was right
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher, but my science teacher told us a joke and it went something like this:
Him: "Where do you find a dog with no legs"
Kid in the back: "KOREA!"
The answer was where ya left him, so ย ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
CallMeAladdin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was taking diffeq the professor was talking about something and he said that a property was closed and then he realized not everyone might know what closed means in math, so he asked, "What does closed mean?" And I answered, "Not open." It sounds stupid when I typed it just now, but it got a big hearty nerd laugh.
necro000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in highschool our teacher was talking about bill Clinton, and then a Spanish speaking student goes, "is that the one who (Spanish)was getting blowjobs on the toilet(Spanish)" and the teacher who doesn't know Spanish goes, "yeah he did that too", all the students started laughing so hard. It was a mostly Hispanic school so all the students knew but not the teacher
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
TheGamingGeneral ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher asked where Indians come from. Girl said Indiana. Everyone face palmed.
Alphabunsquad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but my one day in middle school my brother wasn't really paying attention in class, so his teacher calls him out and asks him to define homogeneous. My brother pauses a second then replies "Elton John!"
The teacher pulled him into the hallway and said "You'd be in trouble right now if that wasn't so clever."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but volunteered at a preschool. All the preschoolers were circled up for "group time". The question of the day was "What does your dad do during the day?"
A lot of the answers were things like "A doctor", "a teacher", "a cook", and so on. This one little girl, about four years old, stood up angrily and said "My dad sits on the toilet all day and farts his brains out when I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth!"
F1133 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher to student: โMake a sentence using the word โIโ Student: โI is..โ Teacher: โNo that is not correct, you should say I amโ Student: โOk. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabetโ!
LebumGermsJr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was sitting down in my classroom during a group presentation. At the end of the presentation, the class was allowed to ask a few questions to the group. One classmate asked a complicated question to one of the presenters. He looked back at her and simply said, "great question Helen! Next question." He simply made that remark and went onto another question.
MitchelG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did quiz bowl in high school, and for those who don't know what that is, basically it's an academic competition where two teams get asked 10 questions, they work together to figure out and write down the answers and then a judge scores them.
Anyways the question was "What was the name of Adolf Hitler's wife?" None of us had any idea so we decided to be smart asses and write " Mrs. Hitler". They ended up giving us the he points for it.
SkillerManjaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Physics paper for 13 year olds: "give an example of when it is beneficial to reduce friction" ans: "I don't know if I'm allowed to say this but.... wanking? Lube?? (I'm sorry but it's the only thing I could think of)".
TheDarkRedditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, how come I never got these teachers with a decent sense of humor. I gave one of those answers once to an atrociously worded question - teacher was like you're right but you're getting a 0 but maybe next year I'll change the question. Never showed up to that class again.
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the bane of all classes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write the following as an inequality:
Question: You must get 60 or above to pass this test.
Answer: OK
cof6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a school in Pittsburgh,pa. We were learning antonyms. I asked, "What's the opposite of black?"
The student answered, Yellow!"
Oh1FiftyFivee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the first grade the teacher asked the class to "draw what you think you'll look like in 100 years." I just put "Ded" (I wasn't great at spelling).
saxymaxy327 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(my first week on tht job, trying to learn 4th grade names)
Can't remember kids name
Me: alright, I might need a hint for your name.
Kid: it's the past tense of draw!
His name was Drew
throwawaytomato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tutor a kid.
"Name two similarities between an eagle and a rhinoceros."
Answer: 1. The eagle has legs. 2. The rhinoceros has legs too.
Same kid, on a different occasion.
"Assuming the umbrella is made of paper and wood, explain how you can make it waterproof."
Answer: Make the top out of wood and the handle out of paper.
FlyingSquid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:30:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That child has a bright future in marketing ahead of them.
Fluffy_Apple ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probs gonna get buried, but this is too funny.
Not a teacher, but a student. On my biology exam last year, the teacher put in an absolutely golden question. Basically, there was a massive section talking about this child called Matthew with brittle bone disease or something, in this section all questions related to Matthew, including the final question: "If you were Matthew's parents, what would you do?"
I personally found this hilarious when I realised that there was no way to disprove the answer "Sacrifice Matthew to the Sun Gods."
KelDG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:55:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my mum: Her primary school class was asked to draw a picture of the 'nativity' one of them drew a fat man, she asked why and he replied "It's round John virgin".
mig4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gave students a news article to read about older people buying guns. There's this really old lady in the picture holding a gun. I overhear one student ask the other how old he thought the granny was. Really upset, he responds that it's messed up asking old people their age because it reminds them of how close they are to dying.
The other's comeback, "No, it's dumb to spend money on guns if they're so close to dying anyway."
TalkShitGetWitt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping test a 5 year old boy. He points to some tape and says "You can measure with that!" He's right, only you measure with measuring tape and not scotch tape.
hijigu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends daughter gave below answer in her exams:
Q: What is the difference between 32 and 37 with an illustration below: ..30..31..32..33..34..35..36..37..38..39..40..
Answer: 37 is faraway.
Q: What is the difference between 48 and 51 with an illustration below: ..45..46..47..48..49..50..51..52..53..54..55..
A: 48 has 4 and 51 has 5.
Actual image: http://imgur.com/a/qfFSK
LotusPrince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The student's response was intended as a joke, but I'll post it, anyway.
ME: "Did you know that there is no word in the English language that rhymes with 'orange'?"
HER: "What about 'morange'?"
I laughed for something like thirty seconds.
BingoFishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sporange.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:33:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BingoFishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't even rhyme, not to mention that it's two words.
ghettomagicrooster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junior high school social studies class. Lesson was on laws, how they're made, enforced, etc. Teacher asks, "Is anyone above the law?" Student replies, "Steven Seagal!"
This was just a few years after that movie came out. The class and teacher thought it was hilarious.
leigh913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach highschool math. I gave a quiz in which my freshmen had to identify an exponential relationship from a pattern. One of the questions asked them to "create a table", which was designed to help them identify the pattern and later write the explicit rule for said pattern, but some smartasses drew a table. A four-legged, flat-topped table. I debated giving partial credit, but decided against it.
huckleberry_loke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why can't i go to the bathroom ?
MoreDetonation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this gem in driver's ed:
Teacher: "What is the single most important tool for a driver to use?"
Student: "A car..."
gabagool69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It got all the dinks.
pictorsstudio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was discussing something with a student when they had a point that I had not thought of. I wrote "touche`"
They wrote back that they didn't mean to be "touchey."
dk8443 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jk/SK class I asked for words the started with the letter C. One kid puts his hand up and goes "crap, that starts with C".
lfantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once a student said he was going to write something down in his not-e-book. ESL student.
milqi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach a film history and appreciation elective to high school seniors. At the beginning of the year, I try to get a sense of what they know about films and film-making. Hence, the following exchange:
Me: What do we need to make a movie?
Student: Equipment
Me: Could you be more specific?
Student: All the equipment.
Notext2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but back in the 90s I coached girls select u14 soccer. When filling out the player information sheet one of the girls answered the question "Who to contact in case of emergency?" 911.
Technically correct but not what we were looking for.
Swiftfire1002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like her way of thinking, but I think the coaches might already know that one. Lol
somedamname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definition of 'scavenger': animals with graves in their bellies
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher (I know, I'm being one of those people), but we had one assignment for our career class in 8th grade where we were supposed to introduce ourselves and tell some other facts about ourselves, including what we wanted to do when we grew up. At the end of this one girl's presentation, the teacher asked her what she planned to do for a career because she never mentioned it and, dead serious with a hair flip, smile and all, she responded, "I'm just gonna grow up and marry a rich guy."
What's even better though are the questions which you can't answer incorrectly unless you're lying, but someone still gets it wrong. In middle school, one kid got asked his middle name and he sat there stammering for a full 10 seconds because he legitimately forgot his middle name.
hoocares ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids were supposed to write about their dreams in the future. However, since they are beginning English students (ESL), some mistakes are common, like confusing b & d. A student wrote that they want to be a fisherman, and they love to see fish in the sea. They ended their paragraph with "That is my bream."
runed_golem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother was taking a theatre class in college. A bonus question on a test was "Draw a picture of Shakespeare." My brother drew a picture of a duck and wrote "Nobody knows what Shakespeare looked like, so here's a duck with a goatee."
SaltedFrenchFry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazon is to South America as Nile is to _______________. She put One Direction.
dalkemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching a 'motor skills' class to a pre school where I taught them how to throw and kick.
Had the 3 and 4 year old kids warm up by chasing me in a circle around the gym. Did our two laps and waited for the stragglers to gather. Turned to the first kid in line and asked: "You looked gassed!"
EDIT: For clarity.
Kid behind him yells: "I HAVE GAS!" and resumes picking his nose.
whiteypoints ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's impressive. Not a lot of 9 month olds can run and talk.
dalkemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:22 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the heads up. Will edit for clarity.
gocharmanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid 1: Nice jump! Me: Thanks, I practiced a lot! Kid 2: My cat can jump higher than that. Me: Oh yeah? Well I can eat more than your cat, and have a job! Kid 2: Her JOB is to eat!
Kid: Are you REALLY going to do that? Me: No, I was just being ironic. Do you know what an ironic joke is? Kid: Mean?
SoCalPacker2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 8th grade science and had my students define vocabulary words for a section on rockets. I got this
I wasn't even mad. Gave that kid a high five after class.
AdulaAdula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Between HClO, HClO2, and HClO3, which acid would be the strongest?"
"Whichever one I'm on, man."
Alphabunsquad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in my high school honors history class our professor would give us a trivia question every day to go home and look up and then the next day he would ask it again, we would write the answer on a piece of paper, and he would walk around the room and give everyone who got it correct an extracredit point.
Well one day he asks us, "What state has the only triangular flag?" He walks back a few rows and gets to the desk of this one girl who hasn't written anything down. She looks up at him and says audibly and enthusiastically, "I don't know how to spell it but it's Ohio!" Took the class awhile to get back on track.
Jizzenia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but Im a program director for an adult day program for adults with developmental disabilities.
Whenever I ask a particular client who is diagnosed with Down syndrome what told him to do X,Y,Z....he responds by saying, "my brain."
FHG3826 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's up?
The opposite direction relative to down.
foolishmortal0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not strictly conforming, but maybe appropriate:
When I was in first grade they wanted me to skip to second, so they brought in a professional of some sort to give me a bunch of tests, one of which assessed my vocabulary. Looking back I know I did well; I was able to answer all of the questions except for one, but at the time I was really embarrassed and upset. When I got back home, I told my mom, "I took a test to go to second grade, but I had to tell the lady that I don't know what poverty means"
squirmdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in preschool and we often ask the kids to tell us something about their drawing, whether it's what it's supposed to be or just something about how they made it.
I had this little boy bring me a drawing of a stick figure. It's all he ever draws. He also words things very strange and it's usually really adorable.
He said, "I think you should find my words with this marker"
I replied, "okay, what should I write about your drawing?"
He said, "I got hurt last week" and walked away.
Bottom_ramen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a counselor. I mentioned that something was "water under the proverbial bridge." He got a confused look on his face and said, "the Proverbial bridge isn't even in this country!"
carry-me-on ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but on a cruise me and my family went to a comedy show when me and sister were younger. The comedian who has been on a lot of cruises was telling us the stupidest things people have asked or said whole on a cruise. The best one was a woman asking: "What religion are those peole with the patches behind their ear?" (people often wear these patches to prevent sea sickness). This guy passing by said "Maybe they are Apache!". It was the funniest thing me and my sister had ever heard at the time. I think we kept repeating it the whole cruise much to my parents dismay.
DumCunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am no teacher but this is how i get away with chewing gum in class, When the teacher asks whats in my mouth i say a insoluble breath mint. Gets them every time ;)
Skyeborne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't chew gum in class?
JagoKestral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was never allowed to until college, but kids always put the gum on the bottom of their desks.
DumCunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
love putting my legs up on the bottom of the desk and finding a nice fresh squishy moist piece of gum on my leg
KalebMW99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of a friend of mine (we'll call him Max) was in a high school class with a rather young, easygoing teacher. The classroom environment was such that the teacher and students would tease back and forth without any hurt feelings.
At one point the class was joking that this teacher lived with his mom. He simply says, "No, I don't live with my mom."
Max perks up and says, "Oh, okay. You want her number?"
valiantfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a test in Industrial Arts, one of the questions was
"What is this feature called? [picture of counterbore] Name:..............."
I couldn't remember the right name for a counterbore so I just wrote my name in the 'Name:' field. Mr Reddington marked me wrong, even though I got my name right.
aManPerson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was a fellow student, but i still have a good answer.
a physics...quiz? it wasn't an exam, but it had like 10 hard problems on it. there was an extra credit question:
Give an example of an amorphous solid.
looking back, i'm not sure we ever covered it. the teacher was known to be good, but hard. not surprised he would ask a really hard extra credit question.
2 students got it right, out of a class of 32. one really smart kid, not really surprised. the other was Pat. i imagine he grew up to be a great drinking buddy working construction. he played football, wasn't a jerk, but MAYBE had a B - average. just a little below average on things. he had no clue, so he wildly guessed:
a glass pig.
he was right. glass is an amorphous solid.
iHorribuL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Durring an Earth Science class we had the class write answers anonymously and hand them in on a piece of paper to be read aloud by the teacher (I was an aide). He question was, "What does nearly ever city and town have near it?" Almost every student answered correctly, near the end of saying "A body of water" over and over, the teacher pauses and starts chuckling and says, "A reservation?" The entire class including myself burst out into uncontrollable laughter. Havent laughed that hard to this day, nearly 15 years later.
ShowMeYourTiddles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My little brother had an assignment where they had to use new words in a sentence and draw a picture. He was probably in first grade. One of the words was "laugh". His sentence was "I LOL" and his picture was a stick figure with word bubble "hahaha".
little_asian_man_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the most popular wood in American film?
PLYWOOD!
(The answer was meant to be Hollywood, but you gotta give him a point for effort)
uncleboey17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach 7th grade Texas history. Question was "describe the cattle drive era in 3 sentences". Answer was "they drove the cattle. They killed the cattle. They made burgers."
The_Flying-Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but when I was back in school there was some gaming insanely big numberd we had to add, so this kid says 37472828+6363892=<1
ragendem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a high school biology teacher.
"Ben, what part of the cell is the cytosol?"
Ben: "Uhhh... the wet part?"
gryph06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the beginning of Grade 9 English we were going over some vocabulary and were asked to list definitions for a set of words.
When we were taking them up as a group, (students marking each other's), my friend led me to my embarrassment by reading my definition of the word 'flaunt' out loud. I had listed that flaunting was to "merrily hop or skip around like a cow". The whole class erupted in laughter, and my teacher spent the next minute or two trying to justify my answer to make me feel better.
dumplinmuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but I witnessed it. I'm taking a Harry Potter class in college and my teacher was going over some theories with us involving characters. He began to explain to us that dumbledores brother apparently got in trouble for "inappropriate acts with a goat". He used this example as implied sexuality in children's literature as we were going over queer theory.The next slide was of dumbledores brother holding a baby goat in a somewhat provocative manner and he told us we need to look for the deeper meaning in things we're reading because children's literature hides things from us. He was asking purely as a joke what a goat could possibly mean, obviously gesturing towards its obvious nonsensical absurdity. One girl goes just quiet enough for us to hear "...he likes kids." Everyone lost it for a good 5 min.
TheGoldBowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the barometer story.
http://www.mrao.cam.ac.uk/~steve/astrophysics/webpages/barometer_story.htm
standtallnofall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school ESL to recent arrivals from Latin America. We were going over landforms and they had to draw a comic. The assignment was to draw an alien coming to America and seeing all these new landforms he hasn't seen before. Nearly every single one I got back, was an immigrant. I should've said Space Alien, I guess.
NinjaDeathStrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More than a little late, but I have a good story for this. When I was teaching english in Korea I had an assignment where I'd split the students into groups and then each group had to make a picture of a zoo. They had to label the animals and tell me how many there were of each. I'd let the students pick what animals the zoo had and how many (up to 12) as a whole, then each group would give me their interpretation.
For this particular class, someone picked 12 tigers, which is a tall order what with all the stripes to draw and everything. They had about 25 minutes to draw, and as I was walking around I noticed one group of girls hadn't even started on their tigers with less than five minutes to go. I told them they might want to hurry and they started conversing quickly in Korean.
Soon the timer rang and I went around to see what everyone had come up with. When I got to the back of the room where the group of girls was I looked over their picture to see what they had done about the tiger problem. I found two-and-a-half completed tigers and a hastily drawn sign in the tiger pen that said in English "Other tigers are die." I started busting up laughing and told them I was sorry for their loss.
Creative thinking like that was somewhat of a rare skill in a lot of the students I taught, so I was actually quite proud of their ability to think outside the box.
BigMillyMill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened in one of my classes. It was an economics class in high school. We had to do flash cards on different economics terms. Our teacher was grading them as we were busy with a different assignment. I sat right next to the desk of the teacher. He called a student over and said, "[student], this isn't the right definition of 'interest'" The student had put that the definition of interest was, "the state of wanting to know or learn about someone or something." The teacher tried to be discreet about it but I was too close to miss it. Very hard not to laugh.
salter1878 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sons teacher was showing the class a picture of an octopus and asked the class "how do you make an octopus laugh? "My son says "tickle his testicles! I mean tentacles!"
FMoradipour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once wrote "I forgot the answer" on a test. I got a "hahaha" and partial marks for it, because technically I wasn't wrong by that statement.
nathanberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear this has been asked at least 3 times by now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my small contribution. i teach chemistry labs, once a student of mine, wrote (descirbing a long stirring step in the experiment), "and then, you stir until your hands fall off". i found that funny.
McgurktheJerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at these weak ass immune systems
c3n0byte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student. High school history; we were learning about the Acadians and how the fur trade was opening up western Canada. Teacher goes on to explain how the French government started sending prostitutes over so that the traders would have..."something to do in the vast Canadian wilderness".
Without hesitation, kid at the back says, "that doesn't even make sense. Yesterday you said Acadia was full of beaver."
We lost it.
MeiHota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just finished our moon unit in 3rd grade. One of test questions has a picture of the sun with four of the planets revolving. I can't remember the exact question but it was something like which one would most likely be the hottest. They want you to pick mercury because it is closest so should be hottest. I had one student write on his test "I know Venus is hotter but the test wants be to pick the other one so I am." 3rd grade. He is destined for great things.
Redbird4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was making a list on my overhead of items a native tribe was known for trading that included "nuts, corn." Student in the back of the room raised his came and with a straight face asked if it said "nuts.com".
Junglejive5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Ask a stupid question and you will get stupid answers.
Alaska_Roy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but my friend told me a story of trying to get his small son to go to sleep.
"Why can't you just sleep? It's time to sleep."
"I can't want to."
๐ค๐๐พ
isucklikehell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a test question in a social studies or history class about the Goddess of love, and I wrote hermaphrodite. Teacher gave me full credit for that one haha
griezylad7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but it was me who did this. It was an algebra test and the question was something about finding how high a cannonball would be at a certain time after it was shot. The teacher phrased the question wrong and said "at what height will the CANNON be at x time?" So me being the lazy clever person I am (I also forgot/didn't want to plug the numbers into the formula) said 4 feet because the cannon doesn't move. (The cannon was 4 feet off the ground which was necessary info for the problem. I received full credit and she told the whole class about it the next day. I didn't know whether to be proud or if everyone was mad I got a free point.
Antworter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After-class hanger-on. "Hi, have you got a question?" "If I give you $20 will you give me an 'A'?
Technically he wasn't wrong, in his country, they buy their diploma!
Fuck__living ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but the student.
Teacher: Solve this diffEQ spring and damping problem.
Me: (coming from a physics C background, I write gravitational acceleration as negative)
Teacher: Answer is incorrect, gravity is in the wrong direction.
Me: Didn't you say we were doing this problem in Australia?
Teacher: Well...
Class: laughs
lumenlumina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my little brother was in first grade, he had to answer a question that was something like "what is the person that delivers mail called?" (our language is not English, I'm not sure if the ambiguity translates well) and he wrote something like "Michael" instead of "mailman".
dmcq6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My older brother was student teaching a history class after getting his masters in education. As an extra credit question he asked, "who was the hero at the battle of New Orleans?"... one student answered Drew Brees. My brother gave him the extra credit.
Coot_Hunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On mobile, so sorry for formatting. Not a teacher but when I was in high school we were covering World War II and my teacher had a picture of the English Channel up on the projector that had "English Channel" in giant letters at the top. One of my friends was talking so the teacher calls on him. Teacher: What is this a picture of? Student: Umm the sky? The class is all laughing at this point so after a long pause... Student: and water!
melissuhnicole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2nd grade and on our unit test about communities one of the questions was "what is something people have done to improve your community?" And someone answered with a labeled picture that said "Pluckers Wing Bar"....couldn't argue with him.
bearlolz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"where where shakespeares dates?" (asking about dob and death)
a: "shakespeare spent too much time alone and didnt go on many dates"
gutierrezg5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was working on initial sounds with first graders...
Me: hear the word BOAT, what sound does boat make? Ba.... Ba.....Boat. Boat makes the BA sound... got it?
Student: yes.
Me: hear the word DUCK, what sound does duck make?
Student: quack quack.
hobie_wan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my sophomore year in high school health class (94), the teacher introduced our first topic for the week, sex education. Some people giggled, some people laughed but he put a stop to that real quick. He said "at no point will there be any experiments, there will be no labs! And any inappropriate jokes will result in pops for the boys and detention for the ladies. For some reason after his speech I automatically blurted out" well, I guess we we can all look forward to the oral part of this class. " The class erupted in laughter as well as the teacher. Said that was the the funniest thing he heard while teaching sex Ed and then abruptly asked me to leave the class and meet him in the hallway. Funniest pops I ever received.
ToonMods ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pops?
hobie_wan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
School corporal punishment.
Binxykitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was in 2011. We had just watched a documentary on presidents.
Me: tell me something special about South Korea's president . Student: she is not dead.
Ace_of_coal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach high school math. I have kind of grown accustom to the "technically" correct answers since they see the joke, "find x " and there is an arrow pointed that says here it is, and think it is the best thing since sliced bread.
But I also teach a robotics class and those kids are a little more creative. I was doing a demonstration where if you have the lights off and you flip the switch super fast to on then right back to off then the lights won't turn on. I ask the simple question, why doesn't the light turn on? Some kid goes "because you keep turning them off".... I giggled.
NotYourAverageTomBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but me giving an answer.
I was in Driver's Ed and our teacher always told us, "Even if you don't know the answer, it is better to put something in the blank than nothing at all."
So our test was coming up and one question I couldn't figure out:
'What does PBT stand for?'
So remembering what the teacher said about not leaving anything blank I wrote:
'Probably bananas or Tangerines'.
The next week before class started he announced my answer to the whole class. Everyone laughed and he gave me the correct answer:
'Preliminary Breath Test'
At the end of our course all of his classes were gathered in one day for a final test and the teacher said,
"Now remember, even if you don't know the answer, keeping it blank is worse than nothing at all. But try and keep it n educated guess, not like 'probably bananas or tangerines' like Notyouraveragetomboy did.
Everyone who was in his other classes looked at me laughing and one kid said,
"That was you?"
We all got a kick out of it. Teacher gave me 100% just because I did follow his instructions.
Aimingforsuperior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Physics teacher talking aboutโ thin film interference today) Describe what you see when you look at a bubble? I expected them to say they see a rainbow of colors. What did they say? "They are round and they float kind of".
woxo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a student but in my year 13 English class we were discussing The Wife of Bath and all her marriages. The teacher ask a student what he thought about the Wife's monogamy, in which he replied, she manipulates men into marrying her, to which our teacher asked, "is that your opinion of marriage Will." To which he replied, "no sir, its my opinion of women." To which the whole class broke out in laughter (he was being facetious of course)
yyy1234444456778 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student 1: How big will tomorrow's test be?
Student 2: About eight and a half by eleven.
greyson107 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! I have a good one.(I was teacher's aid so I did most of the grading and stuff)
basically there was this reading comprehension that was about jack and he has passion in swimming and bla bla bla.
The question was: Why did jack swim across the lake?(We were looking for examples of finding evidence from the passage and stuff) and this kid wrote: Because he can.
KatieM2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a) what is a remainder: "the leftover amount" and b) provide an example (most kids used 10รท3 with a remainder of 1): "when my mom makes too much spaghetti we have leftovers with the remainder"
t_source ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
History class: - "What Poland and Russia (neighbour countries) had in common in XVII century?" - "Border"
argyle9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a classroom full of 6th-grade English language learners if they knew what a StairMaster was at the gym.
"The person who wins the staring contest!"
marktamblin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in fourth grade we had our first year of Spanish class. We were learning basics like numbers and body parts etc. a friend of mine, known as the class clown of sorts, was raising his hand and answering every question the teacher had with the English word and then just adding "o". Heado, armo, leggo, houseo- anything. The teacher was getting so frustrated that we all became uncomfortable and didn't really want the class clown to continue, second hand embarrassment. She threatened to kick him out if he did it one more time. Then she asked "does anyone know how to say stomach in Spanish?" My friend very slowly and with a nervous look on his face and said "stomacho?" Our teacher tried to get mad for a second, but ended up collapsing in laughter.
Eleazaras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Describe a common environment one might find a sponge in? [The question ment the living organism sponge]
The answer given was something like: in a small tray underneath the sink with the sos pads.
diabEMIc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Humans are non renewable resources."
Not technically wrong if you think about how long it takes for people to become productive members of society if you also consider work a resource.
iamreeterskeeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is a preschool/pre kindergarten teacher (ages 3 and 4). She had one little 3 yr old boy who was obsessed with superheros. All he talked about was superheros and how he is one too.
One day during snack time, my sister was listening to all the little conversations going on around the table when she heard this gem.
Simon: "So last night I was flying outside and rescued a kitty!"
Little girl: "Simon, can I tell you something? You are NOT a superhero."
Simon was crushed for about 10 minutes, decided the little girl was wrong, and resumed his superhero persona. My sister said she almost peed herself laughing.
painterface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a student, "what is 5x9?" He replied "um, you know, it's uh, at least 40?!" I told him "that is exactly correct! 5x9 IS at least 40!
OllieSyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student but one our teacher was calling on people to read their answers to a test. Mind you the test was multiple choice, and rotated letter answers. First question the answers were A,B,C or D. Second question was E,F,G, or H. Then repeating. When the teacher called on someone the student mostly answered with the answer to the question not just the letter affiliated with the answer. Got called on and accidentally said the letter 'F', then tried correcting myself by saying the answer 'You'
tl;dr told my teacher F you in front of entire class.
jaggedcream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine was student teaching and they were talking about September 11th. They were asked what they would do if they were in that situation and this kid with Tourette syndrome yells "GET THE FUCK OUT"
WhiteFright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/mobit80 semen story time
mobit80 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here we go kids. I live in a small Texas town, and we had a test in a forensic science class where we were supposed to identify evidence as biological, manufactured, or an impression. One person in our class our class put impression for semen. We asked what she was thinking when she heard that word and responded, 100% serious, "like..... Concrete?". The entire class burst into laughter and then her friend explained to her the essentials of the reproductive cycle. The truly disappointing part of all of this is that she's a senior, meaning she's taken biology.
TL;DR: cement = babies because small town sex ed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Philosophy prof. Walks into the classroom on midterm day and asks, "any questions before we begin the exam?" To which a student replied, "Yeah, where do babies come from?"
jumbonionga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got one myself (and from the replying side to change a bit). I was 3 at the time, and my parents began searching what school I could get into (just roll with it, the same way you may roll eyes on the "rich snub kid" prejudice. Living in third world country here) and one of the schools demanded a psych evaluation from all of the possible candidates.
With context out of the way, as well as formalities, here's the interaction:
Needless to say, I caused quite the impression.
(My parents told me this story when I was 15-ish and I haven't had a bad moment every day I remember it. Based on what they gathered, the Psychologist still remembered the answer for quite some years)
Cabbagetroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What happened on the day of Henrietta's funeral?"
"Her funeral."
cabbagetroll_troll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:43 on May 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eggs /r/christianityUnchained/comments/5nd5o6/eggs/dcai381
rubenn__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once my teacher asked a student read a paragraph & tell the class what that paragraph meant
student gives a quote
"Okay, who said that?"
"I just did"
The teacher couldn't hold in his laughter.
GreenSamMeminger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question from the exam: "Give an example of probability" Answer of a student: "The probability of passing this exam is 5%"
Ming1888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What should you do if you get lost at a store and can't find your mom?" "Call a cab and have him take me home."
Meowgenics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a teacher asked his students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
"I wanna be a man!"
shitty_mcfucklestick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In an art class in grade school, the teacher asked a student to draw the curtains. After a few minutes she stopped her lecture to ask the student if he was going to close them. Turns out he was drawing them in his notebook.
shelb191 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other teacher: "Miss Shelby doesn't practice religion." Student: "She only practices sports?"
CodeWiz808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: Does the following graph have 0, 1, 2, 3, or 4 x-intercepts
Answer: Yes
TheNotoriousJTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me: How do people usually act to defend basic human rights
Student: raises hand, and then just yells "armed rebellion"
Not the most outrageous thing but the conversation was pretty clearly steering towards discussing peaceful protest.
mytimehascum1235 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WOW
banananaslippers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, I actually gave this answer and never really lived it down. I took a lit class my freshman year and we were tasked to read this coming of age in America book (I forget the name). As this was my least prioritized class, I ended up not reading the book, but many of my peers did and seemed to enjoy it. I got word that there would be a pop quiz before class started and asked my classmates about the book. I got the overall gist of things and buckled down to take the test. One of the last questions on the test asked who the protagonist made love to after he climbed to the highest peak of some mountain. Now, I was aware that this character masterbated when he got to the top, but since I never read the book, I didn't get much context beyond that. So the answer I wrote was "himself".
After giving this quiz, the professor really wanted a group understanding of this book so he went through all of the answers to the test. When we get to the final question, the entire class erupts to say "the world!" (apparently the protagonist was metaphorically making love to the world by jackin it). Well, i didn't want to get the answer wrong so I piped up and asked if we could still get credit if we wrote himself.
Of course everyone laughed, I turned red, but technically I was correct and was given credit by my professor. Fun times.
TY_SM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was some question in the math book that was trying to make the assignment more "fun/creative". The rest of the questions were dealing with fractions and using a bakery/cupcakes for the story problems.
Question: "If you had your own bakery what type of cupcakes would you sell? Draw a picture of it below."
Answer: "This has nothing to do with math"
IthinkIwannaLeia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While teaching hibernation in biology class, I asked why Yogi Bear never celebrated X-mas. Kid quickly said "because he was Jewish. I laughed. The kids didnt. It was a stupid bunch of kids.
CYWorker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was showing my students an iconic picture of a German bomber flying over the Thames in east London, and I asked the class of Year 8's (Grade 7 in North America) what it was a picture of.
The chatterbox in the front row raises his hand and goes "Oh Sir, is that where they film EastEnders?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is a dietary source of calcium and/or iron? "Hard water"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Remember, when you put the hardware into the motherboard, we treat it like treating a women.."
Me: " Yeah.. rough and hardcore"
The only laugh I've ever received in class.
HellaBrainCells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post using a double negative
heyyoukid415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heck! So far. Tell your dad that he has a 32 year old granddaughter finishing up law school in San Francisco
HumanFordPrefect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sincerely think it's fucking brilliant.
heyyoukid415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right on
Bill_OReilly_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'm pretty good at getting jokes right of the bat but I don't fucking get it
toomuchpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who are three people who haven't been in my kitchen, Alex.
darlingyrdoinitwrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just wanted to say i love this question.
you go, OP! (& teachers of reddit!)
KingMufasa20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm
Svndried ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but in highschool oceanography the teacher asked us to make a mnemonic phrase for the directions on a compass and some girl said Never Ever Smoke Weed and the teacher had nooooo idea whether she should go with it or not
KShadow1151 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of high school has oceanography?!?!
Genner21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a fourth grade class: do you know what politicians are?
One responded with: They are croocks! With no hesitation.
Me and the teacher looked at each other and nodded, can't argue with that. It was pretty funny at the moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am no crook!
slippinTimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in first grade I did a few funny things.
The board was full of adjectives, "fun, cute, silly, big, happy, ugly, red, fast, etc" you know, first grader words.
We then had an activity where we paired off and to had to write an adjective to describe our partners.
Some time passed and I was distracted by something actually fun for a first grader. Teacher says "only a minute left!" Shit! I didn't write anything down to describe my partner, Adam. I hurried up and wrote down the first word I saw on the board.
Yep. I wrote down ugly! I didn't even know how to read the word at the time so I didn't know what it meant from reading it nor how to pronounce it. When it was my turn to say what I wrote about Adam I tried to read the word but it didn't come out right. "Did you say that Adam was ugly?" I was too young to articulate what I'd done so I just rolled with it. Funny thing, looking back, he is and was an ugly fucker.
Needless to say, I upset the teacher.
"It was the last one in the word bank."
Fuck
dayriderBusking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading for a student in an English Literature mock exam.
"The writer presents their ideas by putting them in their play".
Well... Yes I suppose.
FranticSausages ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A story I got told by my A-Level physics teacher. He was teaching us Newtons 3rd law of motion iirc.
He once told us of how when he broke up a fight between some younger kids, and asked the one kid why he was punching him. The kid replied:
"I wasn't. His head hit my fist."
igame2much ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a student yawning at his desk, so I walked up to him and said, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" To which he replied "Yes, but I forgive you. I know you can't help it."
derps_with_ducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Date: Me please.
IANAT
MarcBrillault ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to my mother's friend, who was a kindergarten teacher in France. They had once a magician performing in school, and he stopped mid-trick, asking the children : "Well kids, what's the magic word ?"
All children answered : "Pleeaaaaaaaaaase, Mister !"
chrizal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in maths we had a question where it asked why each person in an eight-person tennis tournament didn't have a one in eight chance of winning. We were supposed to say "It's based on skill" but one kid said "One player might die in the middle of a match."
He got the mark.
alakota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Below the questions teacher wrote "Each question is 10 points"
And I decided to write the only exact questions again. Then I got 100/100
FatKidFerrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student in this scenario, but in fifth grade my teacher was explaining sarcasm and understanding it within readings. And she asked the class if anyone had any examples of sarcasm. Me being the young intellectual I was, proceeded to say, "you look very pretty today Ms. Hankins." She walked over to my home room teacher dying and told her, and the class that was in there heard the story as well. From then on I was the kid who called the teacher ugly and got away with it.
bob_oh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in third grade, we got to dress up as what career we wanted. Sports uniforms, toy stethoscopes, etc. One kid looked like he didn't even care. Just a plain black hoodie sweatshirt. Teacher: (sarcastically) Dylan, what career are you supposed to be? Dylan: A gangster. Teacher: Forget it.
dilligafdilligas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: a lot of student answers
jalapenomunich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to acquaintances here in Germany ...
First grade, students had to color in a banana. 6-year old girl colored it green. Teacher marked it wrong. Girl said: "I know bananas are yellow, but this one isn't ripe yet, so it's still green."
Excellent, creative answer, if you ask me. Teacher still marked it wrong - "what am I supposed to do, the answer key says yellow".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bit late to the party, but in Year 2 we had a spelling test and one of the words was to spell "can't". And I remember when the teacher came up to me and asked if I knew what I wrote and I had no idea what she was going on about. She laughed and brushed it off and told me not to worry. Later I realised that I must have wrote "can't" wrong and instead just wrote cunt.
jagler56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middle school vocal music teacher here. Cooperating teacher asked me to work with the Eighth grade guys in a sectional rehearsal on stage, and I said (unwittingly...) OK, I'm here to check your Parts. Luckily, it kind of went over their heads.
physchy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT smartasses and poorly worded questions
Rose_Walker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On my Fall semester final, I asked, "Did you learn anything this semester?" I thought it would be an easy question for students to tell me what they felt they had learned.
Student answered no. And I learned how to better phrase my questions!
Dovah907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was me, not a teacher. I dont remember it all so vividly either, my mom just always tells me this story.
In Kindergarten, a teacher had asked me to erase the board.
T: "Dovah erase the board" Me: "How" T: "Use your head" (Saying I should figure it out, there was an eraser right next me) Me: "Uhh, Okay"
Then I proceeded to rub my hair and head all over the board to clean it off.
armchairrockstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supporting in a science class - the teacher asked about food chains, starting with grass and asking the students to name an animal that eats grass -
Best answer?
Lawnmower....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In second grade, we were asked to draw something that exists in winter and we were given white sheets of paper. I remember raising my hand and saying that I finished -- asked what it was, I said "a lot of snow".
Teacher wasn't having it so I was told to do something else and just made 3 circles and said it was a snowman with snow around him.
ProfessorProOfficial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher but this is an answer I've given.
So my English teacher was talking about euphemisms and he told us the phrase "Powder one's nose" and he apparently mentioned that the girls will probably do this during break so instantly, I thought of cocaine and I said out loud "Drugs!" And the answer was "Makeup"...
My friends told me afterwards that he mentioned the girls will do it during break so I got paranoid that the girls thought that I thought they were druggies haha
dukerasputin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna get buried, but anyway. I'm at university in Austria studying to become an EFL teacher. I held one lesson in a class of twelve-year-olds and our lesson goal was to teach them about everything they can, could or have to do on weekends (chores and the like). We had one very... active kid who was constantly trying to give answers and at one point he wanted to say vacuum cleaner but did not know the word:
"Th, uhhm, the, the, uhhm, the machine to, to... to put the dirty away! The dirty machine!"
Well suffice to say I did my best not to laugh out loud.
d4vid1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a kid there was a "write the word that goes with this" type test. One was salt, as in salt and pepper. I wrote "vinegar". I liked chips...
GrabzakTurnenkov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was subbing for a Spanish class and the kids were learning about clothes and etiquette. One of the assignments I was left with tasked them to fill in a story with what a person should do in the situation.
One of the issues said "George got invited to Cecelia's party, and wants to look nice for the occasion. What will he be wearing?"
The key I had showed that the teacher was looking for a list of cloths like "Socks, jeans, shirt, sweater, tie, hat, etc."
But one of the kids was pretty sly. When asked what George will wear to the party the kid wrote "fiesta ropa."
wander_soul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was teaching a debate class where the topic was "dogs are better than cats". One student wrote an entire speech on how dogs are better than cats because you can eat dogs. He found evidence of people eating dogs and put together a well supported argument. He also kept a straight face the entire time looking 100 percent serious. A job well done.
notimetoulouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher in China:
(Me pointing to a picture of a gorilla) "What's this?"
Student "it's the people father!"
Gandeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My exs mother worked at a Catholic school for kids around 5, the nuns would come in and check on their religious eduction, they used to not let the teacher re-phrase the question, so where forced to ask 'what did you learn during Passover' while my fav certainly wasn't correct.. i hope (my mummy is a spider), one kid told us his daddy has a dungeon and another said he likes sausages.
MrBattleDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma told me that my cousin when playing football was running around with his hands flailing around in the air instead of kicking the ball. She asked him why after the game and he replied "to scare the enemy"
Troy_And_Abed_In_The ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will get buried but freshman year I took a feminist studies class. It was me, a class full of very pro-women women, and one Japanese guy still working on his English. One day the TA asks why we think women aren't allowed in the front lines of the military, which there are many possible reasons one could list but Asian dude stands up on his feet and says "because of their physical limitations"
Thinking he was referring to strength and athletic ability, the TA interrupts him and tells him maybe he should rephrase as a room full of offended women snap their heads in his direction. Japanese dude proudly corrects himself with "sorry... temporary inconveniences"
I don't think anyone else in the room was thinking that, which made it extra funny.
rofsdraw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of not wrong!
belsnickel222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In school in a maths test there was a question about volumes of shapes and it was done using making cakes as the scenario. The final question was what shape tin would you use and why? Some kid answered 'the round one so you don't burn the corners' not technically wrong.
Sanebow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a Japanese high school. On the last exam I gave, one of the questions highlighted from the previous semester was, "What stresses you out?" One girl wrote "Testes stress me out." While this is not technically an incorrect sentence, it is a far cry from the study sheet answer of, "Tests stress me out." I had the giggles for a good ten minutes and all my Japanese co-workers were very confused.
Zarzak_TZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student and it was a decade ago but....
In English class we were discussing politically correct vs politically incorrect
Black vs African American
Gay vs homosexual
Etc etc (I'm sure there are way better ones but again it's been a while) but anyway.
So the teacher starts writing a word on the board and our job is to identify if it's proper or improper and then give the other..
Teacher writes illegal immigrant
Fk yea I got this "MEXICAN!"
He just stared at me a moment before writing "undocumented worker"
Went to a magnet school for the gifted and no one in the class had ever heard the term undocumented worked before.
kirstyandjoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During a statistics lesson on interpreting information from a table, I asked one of my 8-year old pupils to look at the table to help him find the answer. He lifted the worksheet, lowered his head and looked at the table!
burnadebt10000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I was facilitating a camp one year and the majority of our participants had ESL.
When they first arrive we get them to fill in a questionnaire that just has simple questions about them selves which we then make in to one book to share around with everyone there so we can all learn about each other.
One of the questions was 'What is your favourite drink?' to which someone wrote 'cock...' more than likely meaning Coke...
It's an awful thing to laugh at because English is hard but, damn...
El_Barto_227 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a fast food store a little while back. Many Asian and Indian people sound like they are ordering 'cock' (my bad hearing does not help me very much whwn accents are thrown into the mix) instead of coke. It's hard not to laugh when someone wants a diet cock.
nasif10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student who witnessed this when we we're reading of mice and men.
Teacher:Lennies character killing his dog conveys the future event of his death because of how he is treated like an animal.
Student:or he's just retarded sir and thought it was a toy
PM_me1bitcoin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question was what country did columbus sale for? They said Italy.
rand486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in grade 6 (French Immersion, as you'll see soon), the teacher was grading while we worked on the assigned work. He suddenly started chuckling to himself. He was a known prankster, so we all looked up to see what was funny. He read a student's explanation of a historical event in the quiz:
We all laughed at the simplicity, and he responded:
Jamma003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but an exemplar test question in our lessons read something like "why must the sampling rate of digitally stored sounds be twice that of its highest frequency". The exemplar answer read "Because Nyquist says so". For two marks. We have a little class uproar at this and move on. Our course providers are not smart, this happens a little too often.
A few weeks later, in a mock exam, the exact same question arises. I am pretty sure the whole class wrote the same thing. We all got the marks though, because you cant deny the exemplar paper...
cerebus24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'What does this tell us about Dr Jeckyl?'
'He's off his nut, sir!'
JungAchs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English teacher in Thailand. She meant to write 'i like to cook' but forgot 'to' and didn't finish the second 'o'
royalfarris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PE teacher here. I once gave a written test on nutrition where one question was written a bit badly - but hey - I'm a PE teacher.
q: What is best to drink after physical excercise?
A: Water - water is the best drink. For instance Coca Cola since it contains more than 80% water.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lesson on American values by looking at celebrities. The students get a carousel of celebrities and in the space around their picture, write what they believe the celebrity values (could be athlete, actor, musician, etc.).
Last semester, I used Bruno Mars in the carousel. A student wrote "getting funked by uptown." Technically not wrong, maybe sort of inappropriate, but I laughed for a while and now when I use Bruno Mars I share that story.
Wolfing731 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student
Probs very late but oh well. I had a test on Physics and the question paper was on PDF. One question was on the lines of "What is the pressure exerted on this piece of paper by the atmosphere" to which I answered "none. My paper is digital, hence it does not experiance any atmospheric pressure". Teacher had a chuckle, got full marks
cvbk12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this happened while I was at school.
Kid was talking when he shouldn't have been, teacher was like "oh, I'm sorry" (as if it was her interrupting his conversation), he simply replied "that's okay, just don't let it happen again".
I've never seen a teacher so angry but so confused at the same time. She literally just went and sat down after that, didn't say anything.
drorr26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my 5th year biology class in secondary school in Ireland we were talking about vaccinations. I was half asleep as per usual and was not paying attention. The teacher asked "Can anyone tell me what a 3-in-1 is". Now we all know that the answer is the MMR vaccine (measles, mumps and rubella). But i other hand, not really listening properly, but my hand to up straight away (mostly to prove that i was still awake and paying attention) and said "Curry, Rice and Chips miss" The whole class laughed, i was clueless as to why and i was sent out of class to stand in the hallway!! i was 17 at the time !!!
_astroAtomic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked the students what happenies was and one blurted out "dirt!" I said "Ok, prove it". He left the room then came back and put a handful of dirt on the desk. Everyone was laughing their ass off and he said "see?"
Smart ass
Inaptronymicangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to a college boy as a third language. Asked him to describe a couple of paintings in the room we were sitting in, came across one with mountains and a waterfall. While describing it, he insisted "waterfall down"
dacasaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once in high school chemistry class the teacher asked "What's a salt?" and this kid goes, "a misdemeanor!"
Kieranmcleish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was an English teacher in France and had to teach directions/locations. I pointed to the church and a student confidently said "La poubelle" which, in English, means "rubbish bin".
allosonh6893 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: Who is the current president of the United States? (This was from spring 2016)
4th grader's answer: Barko Bama
CaptainAwesome06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that was technically wrong.
dukofdeath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:15:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Pomeranian is NOT the Prsident.
olvirki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a student. A test rehearser my class used got the following question when he was taking the class (1st year genetics, university) him self. "What is outside the nucleus?". He answered, "the universe!", and it was marked correct.
HighCrestFactor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's an exposition?
"a yoga pose"
Rebirth_Revival ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
8th grade P.D.H.P.E classroom, on a Sex Ed test a kid answered the question "Name a form of contraception" with "Only Anal"
TheDukeOfHurl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: What did Joan Of Arc become after she was burned at the stake?
Answer: Ashes.
bladderdash_fernweh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching English to Chinese students:
Me:"What do we give on Valentine's Day?" Student: "Yourself!" insert obscene hand gestures
thestreakyfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but hey ho, back in High school my friend and I are in a music class and we've got a substitute teacher taking the lesson. She's going on and on about music theory so we're all nearly asleep, but then she asks us, "what's an important factor of musical performance that you can control?" and my friend miraculously jumps up from his chair and shouts "Ya Bowels!!!" instantly slayed the entire class, even the woman sat at the back grading this substitute teacher is crying. I'll never forget that teachers face. Priceless.
coherenttopgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mines in 8th grade while in English class after reading some text he was asked "Did the man who was described by the protagonist have a job?" (In the book the descriptions of the man were that of a homeless person) My friend replied "Yes, he has a job". The teacher replied "What job did he have?". He said "Oh, he is self-employed". LOL'd a bit afterwards
dsmith48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question- where do you think most battles of the civil War were forget? Answer- on land
picklejuice682 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 5th grade they had a program for students that were faster learners then everybody also and would pull them out of class whenever the class was working on math or English, the teacher recommended me to for the advanced class and the teacher came and gave me a few tests. She gave me a piece of paper with 6 images and said start naming similarities between the images so I'm naming stuff and one of my answers is they are all on the same paper. The teacher looked at me and said no one has ever said that response before. I got in the advanced program.
Rathalos04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm the student but this story seems fit. My elementary school teacher once told us to draw a chicken. Me being me, draw a black fried chicken, didn't know I was a racist back then.
93devil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am six feet tall. The idiots who hung the TV in one of my classrooms, placed it about 5 feet 10 inches off the ground.
One day I'm trying to do something for a really smart kid was not really being very smart about something, and I was trying to get him going in the right direction. So, I was agitated.
I was bending over to help him and when I lifted up, I banged the top of my head on the bottom of the TV mount. It hurt like hell. I took the palm of my hand and slammed it down on a student's desk and said something. The student's eyes got like the guy fishing in Caddyshack. Point of reference - http://s213.photobucket.com/user/RecoilTherapy/media/Caddyshackfisher.jpg.html
The class goes dead silent. I'm just rubbing my head.
I finally break the silence by saying, "I'm sorry. That really hurt."
Then I ask, "Did I swear?"
I hear a bunch of mumbled noes from the students, who are a wicked smart group.
Then one girl slowly raises her hand in the back of the class...
"Mrs. Bugs, the PE teacher, swears."
Ditches101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You said toot,he pissed himself..I think you might be OK on this one
YourDogsAllWet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in special education a student wrote the sentence "The end of Reconstruction began in 1865."
Bambeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working as a tutor at an elementary school, I had the honor of evaluating some of the kindergarten kids. There was this one little girl who's answer had myself and the teacher cracking up. We were going over shapes and just asking for the names in English and Spanish. She nailed the big ones like Circle/Circulo, Triangle/Triangulo, and Square/Cuadrado. But when the Rectangle/Rectangulo came up, she wasn't quite sure. So I asked her if she knew it in either language. At first she was quite hesitant, but then this huge smile just stretched across her face. It was one of the moments where the smile is contagious. Anyways. She just smiled right at me and shouted, "Cuadrado largo?". Spanish for "Long Square". I couldn't help myself, I had to let out a laugh. It was such an adorable and silly moment. I got myself together and gave her a high five and we moved onto some numbers. One of my favorite memories of that job.
Shelley_Dilworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really surprised that isn't standard knowledge for a seventh grader. Edit: looks like this is a Britain vs America thing, we learn algebra earlier (or at least we push it on the smart kids earlier).
Bill_Park ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Move the heating device closer to the equator, where ambient temperatures are typically higher.
dukofdeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use the word bank to answer the questions below:
1) bank
2) bank
3) bank
4) bank ...
(The girl had an IEP and took instructions very literally.)
pacnwbio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studying embryonic development in high school. I asked for two reasons women shouldn't drink alcohol. Answer: pregnant women should not drink because they might drink too much and get in a car accident and hurt the baby with the shoulder strap. So yeah, technically his answer was correct if only he had given me one more reason!
Regina_Wampler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another day and still no Japanese Jesus, one day we will find him
Darlene_Lambert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We shall call him 'Japanese Jesus, son of Abraham'. Or just J.J. Abrams. for short
Charles_Diaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has failed in his Genin exam and died.
MrNeurotoxin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in grade 8, we had a History exam and there was an essay part "Write about nationalism in France in the 1800s", I hadn't paid attention during the lectures nor prepared for the exam in any way, so I just answered "There was nationalism in France in the 1800s."
My teacher had drawn a frowny face next to my answer and gave me a single point (out of 12).
Cyndy_Jackson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, learning idioms in foreign languages is very hard, and a more literal understanding comes much more intuitively.
Stanley_Wiseman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Year 4 maths. Last question on first page. Circle the odd numbers. Kid also circled the page number below the list of numbers. Extra point awarded.
Hal_Walls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose.
dukofdeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FConstructivist question:
You are camping near a clear stream. You notice a gold nugget glittering in the water. You pick it up and it's heavy -- the weight of a can of soda. (Use current market prices to estimate the value of this gold. Explain your reasoning.)
One student was way off and valued his nugget at two million dollars.
His reasoning was that his nugget was naturally in the shape of Jesus Christ so it's worth more. No math explained.
Richard_McMann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chemistry test Were they expecting an answer more complicated than "Petrol is flammable"?
amine_bou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English in high school. In his essay, one of my students couldn't find the word "become" so he drew an arrow "--->" instead. I was amused.
arghhmonsters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was tutoring a kid once, decided to use money in hopes he'd recognise that better "I have two $5 dollar notes here added up how many do I have?"
"You have 2!" Well he wasn't wrong.
Sandra_Muhammad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has used rubber bands to tie her hair back in emergencies, I'm imagining all my hair being pulled out of my head when I try to take this rubberband skull cap off.
kram12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son told me this. 9th grade Biology class they were studying reproduction of fish and he had just explained how after the female lays the eggs, the male then passes over and fertilizes them with sperm. Whereupon one of the boys in in the room shouts," How do fish ejaculate , they don't have hands?". My son almost busted a gut holding back his laugh. The other kids in the class were nonplussed by my sons reaction.
Leticia_Nesbitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious. Well done
drumbeating72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 2nd grade I decided to draw a picture of bullfighting after we were told to choose something to draw from one of the countries we had been learning about. Of course I drew an awesome picture of two bulls going head to head.
My teacher was a little tactless in telling me that isn't what bullfighting actually means considering the amount of effort I had put into it.
Louis_Center ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a city planner, in charge of designing roads. Concrete has a friction coefficient of 1.0 when dry, and .5 when wet. Asphalt has a friction coefficient of .75 when dry, and .6 when wet, what should you make roads out of? He was looking for "asphalt because it's more dangerous when it's wet out, thus giving you better control in dangerous situations," OR "Concrete because it's better when dry, and most of the time dry conditions are present." Some guy just wrote "Asphalt because it's cheaper." The reason he was showing me some of these is because on Day 1, his first lesson to us was that speed is relative. He held a tennis ball up and said anyone who can guess how fast this is moving gets a candy bar or whatever - we all guessed 0 because it wasn't moving. He then explained to us that no matter what answer we gave, we were wrong because to an observer not on earth, it's moving ~500 miles per hour due to the rotation of Earth. "Zoom out" even further and it's moving even faster, due to Earth's orbit, etc etc. So on the first test he asked us to show our work on a math problem and I added 500mph on every velocity depending on if it was going east or west - thus vastly over complicating the problem but getting the right answer, and making it a pain in the ass to grade. He said he'd give me 100% if I he could keep the exam and if I never did it again.
FantosTheUrk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but this answer came from a friend of mine in high school.
Geography test, the question "Is there a church with a spire or a church with a tower in this map square?" He answered "Yes"
Jeffrey_Henley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said he'd give me 100% if I he could keep the exam and if I never did it again. Wait, so who gets to keep the exam?
T0MERNAT0R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in year 7 (in my country, I'm not sure for others), there was a question:
"What is the only way to guarantee not getting pregnant?"
You can imagine the answers teenage boys came up with, ranging from "plastic bags" to "wearing two condoms", but I was very proud of mine, as the teacher awarded me a mark for it.
"What is the only way to guarantee not getting pregnant?"
Why, wearing socks with sandals, of course!
Fk_Ghommal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a teacher but there was this girl once who asked why the teacher was named Serge. He said it's just a name, we just give names to everything, for example 'the netherlands', its just a name. She replied: 'No, nether means low' he had to sit down for a minute.
Danone501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago, teaching English to a grade 5 class in central China, I asked the students to make sentences using 'I want' at the beginning. Firstly some context - in China it is common to have a long term partner when you're in your twenties, it's seen as a bit odd if you don't. My students had asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. So in that lesson one student said 'I want -my name- to have a girlfriend'. This is after months of them asking why I don't have one, if I want one, etc. We had to stop class for a minute due to the laughter :,)
Huurlibus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: What is heuristic?
A: (Heu [german] = Straw) "The art of braiding with dry grass"
rake2204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To a 15-year-old student around 2006:
"Do you know what a prima donna is?"
"Someone who's about to become Madonna?"
Smallgreatthings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When teaching i before e, except after c etc. a student pointed out that my very name contradicted this rule...
Bladescorner2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never gotten over that in one of my very early on school books, there was a task where we had to colour in regular items with their colours. For the Apple I coloured it in red as red apples are my favourite, the teacher wrote next to this "bladescorner2, insisted that apples were red and not green" I'm still dumbfounded 20 years later this teacher couldn't accept my answer
Kurisuchein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What did your parents say?
Bladescorner2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just told me I was correct and to ignore it. Wasn't the last time a teacher told me I was wrong when I wasn't, my parents just always told me some people don't think like I do
Kurisuchein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously that teacher needed more exposure to apples in her sheltered life.
therealmocha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a real All-American family
Harryolo97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q: When was baptism of Poland? A: In the afternoon.
beerne1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Once while substituting I asked "Why is this town here? What created it and sustains it as a community?" The response I received, which was immediate, and from an 7th grader, was "Incest and Laziness...." This was from an area in rural Pennsylvania.
Harry_Park ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For chemistry: "How do you prevent an iron fence from oxidizing?" My answer: Send it to space Full points.
myluxurybed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but can remember this happening in primary school! English teacher sets the class a task on interpreting a particular part of Romeo and Juliet. She picked on a couple of students to read aloud their answer. One lad called Danny, instead of writing about Romeo and Juliet had wrote how a light bulb works! God knows how he managed to get it so wrong but it was so funny! Also this was year 6 in England (about 10/11 years old)
Applesr2ndbestfruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a witness. We were talking about how the n-word was used in Huck Finn and how there are words everyone is uncomfortable saying. My English teacher went off on a tangent and was saying her teacher forced the class to say a bunch of uncomfortable words to each other to become callous. This guy yells "ESOPHAGOUS" and I just start laughing uncontrollably. Like wtf?
Walter_Manning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is a Human Biology teacher and her favourite one was: Name a form of contraception: Dildo.
lolpan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm not the teacher but My Philosophy professor once asked for example of addictive substances. I yelled "food". he yelled "food". i almost got a high five.
fasehed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was awhile ago. But I was helping out a teacher for community service hours in the 2nd grade. They were studying animals and stuff. So the teacher shows a picture of a cartoon drawn spider with only 7 legs. The kid looks at it awhile and then concludes it has no home, the teacher looks confused and the kid explains that he is a web less spider and someone should make him a web.
Thomas_Nicholson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My personality"
thenamesjoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus is always the answer
NeDragons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching religious studies, I asked a group of 12 year olds what St. Patrick was the patron saint of, and in almost perfect unison, they shouted "BEER!"
George_Matthews ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My face"
Michael_McMillen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but on a programming test in college, the question asked us to print a pattern like: 1 10 101 1010 10101 Now what they wanted us to do was to write a loop for it, but they didn't specify that. I was running out of time, so instead of writing out the proper code for it, I just wrote print statements for the 5 lines. Got full credit for it too.
tomomaya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in 7th Grade we had a test (I never studied for) that asked, "Who were the Quakers?" And I wrote, "They made oatmeal."
marcus1275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omelette du fromage
๐๏ธ muffinorgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me in French class
Antonio_Russell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it would have probably been fewer lines to write the loop lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of these comments include phrases such as 'smartass answer', 'sarcastically', etc. However, most of the questions are not worded precisely enough to have the 'correct' answer be the only answer. This was always a pet peeve of mine in school. It's left to the student to assume things in order to exclude other answers.
Tldr: Write your questions more precisely
Oscar_Farmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, hedgehodgkins lymphoma., I'm terribly sorry.
montesorrytchr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a preschool teacher I was watching as one of the assistants did circle time for the after school day care program. We were starting a unit on transportation, so the assistant "read" a book on tape that was basically a song about cars, boats, rocket ships, trains, etc. Then after she began to explain to the kids that the reason she "read" the book was because we were going to learn all about transportation over the next few weeks - transportation was a new word for these kids, so she explained the word by saying everything in the book (cars, trucks, boats, etc) were all types of transportation. One little boy raised his hand, started waiving it around, and didn't even wait to be called on before shouting "No! You mean Transformers!" The assistant was super confused, I had to explain to her later how he wasn't wrong and his kid logic made perfect sense.
Mildred_Melendez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah baby, we're bonded like covalent electrons." "What?" adjusts trousers
rae526 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quizzing Japanese first graders in English:
"Can you tell me something yellow?" "No I can't." "...... Technically that is an answer."
Judith_Brito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I have clothes older than you."
mws85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha.
blicq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was teaching blueprints recently, we came across the abbreviation GL. I asked the class what it meant and one student immediately shouted "Gay Latinos!". It means glazing. But in his last job, they used that abbreviation all the time as that meaning. There may so happened to be a majority of Gay Latinos who bought their cars. I guess... So it was correct, just not in the context I was looking for.
Michael_Beckham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You eat shit for breakfast?"
Jeffrey_Hargrove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach math in an inner city middle school. I once had a parent tell me that I "need to treat her with respect" because she had a "master's degree in typing" and is not "your typical trap bitch". Needless to say, she was the typical trap bitch.
WolfGirl94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, late as always but I have one for this! This was actually my answer, when I was super little I lived in a very small town. I lived on a farm even further outside of that town, so I picked up reading and stuff really early (nothing else to do), so I was tested to see if I could skip kindergarten. The test was a bunch of things like identifying letters and shapes and whatnot. Had absolutely no problems, until we got to the barnyard animals part. Teacher asked me "What kind of animal wakes you up in the morning" and I answered cows (we didn't have any chickens or roosters on our farm, and trust me, cows sure as shit will wake you up if nothing else does). Teacher was not convinced.
itsamamaluigi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather has a story of when he was a smartass on an essay. They were given the writing prompt: "A beautiful and useful animal is the horse." His response? "Yes."
saintmarq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my mum, is the teachers assisstant in a Pre Primary and the kids were learning 'it' words (fit, bit, lit) and one kid said shit. Technically not wrong.
Susan_Concepcion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't draw them either. OP should know that she's not alone http://i.imgur.com/2xmewtU.png
xXRoXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have once witnessed the following situation:
teacher: what makes wood hard? me: blood
FuzzyFuzzzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but once in my french class, we were learning new verbs, and the teacher calls on this kid to pronounce on of them. He just yells out "faire son LIT" (to make one's bed). Never before have I seen my French teacher laugh so hard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time in Science class, one of the questions was: "Can you make three graphs of data?" (That wasn't exactly the question, but I definitely remember that it said 'Can you' and not 'make three graphs'). Everyone else started gathering data from other members of the class and making the graphs. I just wrote 'Yes' and carried on with the questions. The teacher saw and burst out laughing.
yeuzinips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English language. I asked if anyone knew what "cemetery" meant.
"It's where dead people live. "
Aeglen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I did this once:
Why will the car stop accelerating eventually despite being driven forward by a constant force? Because nothing can travel faster than the speed of light.
NB at that stage of education questions of convergence were out of scope.
donderds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English as a Second Language teacher. Had an exercise that mentioned a motel, and asked the class to tell the difference between a motel and hotel. One girl raises her hand and states "A hotel is where families stay and a motel is where a man and woman go for a few hours."
VenomStinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, so breaking the rules here but when I was studying world history and took a test on ancient religions, the first question was "Who was the founder of Christianity?" I answered "My cousin Jรฉsus."
rebirthandrecover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sociology professor: what are some things that men are better at than women?
Female student: masturbating?
btao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More experience does not necessarily mean better...
rebirthandrecover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's technically not correct I still found it funny to hear
theManikJindal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IDK, if this one counts. One time in the class the teacher asked us all "What is your favorite dessert?". And I yelled from the back - Sahara Desert!!
Quentin_Coldwater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student, not a teacher, but still:
High school, incredibly smart nerdy guy is following an optional economics class. Teacher explains the formula for a certain calculation. Guy raises his hand and says, "Sir, I used a different method, but I arrived at the same result. Is that still correct?" Teacher asked him to show it to him after class. After class, I lingered and looked at his calculation. Teacher looks at it, frowns, grabs a sheet of paper and makes some calculations, crosses them out, makes different calculations, then finally gives up and says, "I have no idea how you did it, but the calculation's correct. But please use the method I used on the test."
ilovepuscifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:04:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach at a nursery school. I ha a 3 year old boy ask me for something without saying please. I said "what's the magic word?" He looked at me very confused and said "uhm.. abracadabra?"
secretspy477 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was an elementary teacher's aid for a year and one day while reading a story a student had a question. The teacher stopped reading to answer the question and when she went to return to reading, she had lost her place and said, "Well, now I'm lost." This student raised his hand and in all seriousness demanded, "How are you LOST? We're right HERE in this classroom." Needless to say, I lost it.
MozzyMoz123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:13 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine but a close friend in high school on our final biology exam.
Question: Which two substance are not found in urine? Answer: Puppies and Rainbows
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean. Just two? Wide open question there!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself but my mom teaches first grade.
"What did Jenna's family eat for Thanksgiving?" "Jenna"
On a worksheet where the students read a passage about a person taking a walk outside on a nice day:
"What type of day was it?" "3/7/17"
Kids would also try to copy off of each other but misalign their papers so you'd get stuff like
"How did the walk make him feel?" "Trees"
Edit the first and last ones don't really fit the post, but I thought they were funny enough to share.
RFCwhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching my class about the U.S. Judicial System. One question on the homework was "How does a case get to the Supreme Court?". One student only wrote down, "We started from the bottom, now we here", which is correct, in a manner of speaking. (He got full points)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher, but I was once given 1/2 credit on a question to an AP biology exam for answering with: "Because God made it that way."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was when I was in eleventh grade, in 1997 or '98.
In history class, the teacher asked if anyone could give an example of oral history. The girl next to me put up her hand and said, "Bill Clinton?" The whole class, teacher included, cracked up.
leetzeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Question: What do you know about comets?
Answer: Nothing.
NJpwgfan25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had said the word Perks to a room full of 14-15 year old 9th graders and a female student age 14 asks out loud "PERKS AIN'T THAT LIKE THE PILL?"
Meneni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
During pre k class kids start saying poo and pee endlessly. "What language is that?". Little girl answers in the most sweet voice: "English".
Philhos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 10th grade, my science teacher was trying to make a point about some things being plainly obvious by asking the question, "Who's buried in Grant's tomb?"
Being a big fan of the Looney Toons, I, in a clearly joking fashion, replied with "Napoleon" to which he and I and most of my class laughed at. Except this one, poor, literally blond girl. Her response was, "Really?" She actually want sure if Napoleon was the person buried in Grant's tomb.
Blipnoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geology in around grade 9-10. We were learning about the island around Australia and that Indonesia had [unknown number] and a half thousand islands.. I stuck my hand up and said "how do you get half of an island..?"
I had a picture in my head off an island getting cut in half and half was just non existent any more.. But it's not half an island, it's just an island.. Only smaller then it used to be
xerxes394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in my 7th grade English class the teacher was explaining religious symbolism in popular culture, and asked the question "what position is superman in as he falls from the sky?" To which my 7th grade self called out "fetal position." The blank stares from the rest of the students in the class and my teachers awkward response are forever burned in my memory.
KierraRuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's all relative.
huddleduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking about Antarctica and explaining where it and the south pole are in relation to the rest of the Earth. A student blurts out, "So it's like the asshole of Earth?" (5th grade)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not my question but best answer I heard.
Grade 3: my student walks into the shop his mom works at for lunch which is across the street from our school. Yes, our students get bused home for lunch. Mom: Austin! Why are you here? Austin: I missed the bus. Mom: How!?! Austin: Well... It left without me...
day_kid_older_sister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach college chemistry. One post-lab question asked the student to design an experiment to identify whether or not the unknown was a metal carbonate, and if so, which metal.
Student went into some detail about training a dog to detect carbonates. While dogs' noses do have an impressive limit of detection, carbonates are odorless.
DocVelo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What was the second capital of the United States under the U.S Constitution?"
"Philadelphia born and raised playin b ball was how I spent most of my days,,," and then he went on to finish the ENTIRE song writing in the margins of the test page.
It may or may not have been read aloud the next day.
jdaryana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked on a math test, where is this rational expression undefined. Someone wrote "undefined" as an answer.
Another time, I asked "Explain what allows you to isolate a variable and thereby solve for a solution." Someone wrote "Jesus"
And last, once a student wrote on a critique of my class: "I don't know what makes me say say the name of God more, sex with my boyfriend or this professor's tests..."
Empereor_Norton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my nephew was 7yo his teacher told the class they were going to do a science project. The old "find a way to drop an egg off the roof without breaking" thing. My nephew said "That is too easy, just throw a chicken off the roof."
oshaigah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AP US History teacher asked me "Since you and 4 others worked on your answers together, what is blah blah blah?" (Can't remember the question)
I answered with "Yes"
hbt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had this student who just memorized answers I don't even know how. He would always have the correct answer and units with no workings but I could never give the point.
nl1004 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not?
hbt_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because he didn't know how to answer the question, but instead would just memorize numbers out of the book. No workings no points unfortunately.
That-one-asian-guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 7 a teacher asked who the natural predator of the tomato plant is. Considering growing one in a greenhouse doesn't have that many predators. I said the farmer.
Im 28 now. I still believe that its the farmer. Amongst other things.
justthrowmeout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was reading a book to my english learning class in China. The page said "Dedicated to my daughter" A student asked "what does dedicated to mean?" I explained that it meant that it was written for his daughter. The student said "Well if it's written for HIS DAUGHTER, then WE don't have to read it!"
dmjellison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a history professor tell us a story about on one of his past exams, the essay question was: "What is zen". A student turned in a blank piece of paper and told the professor: "This is zen". The professor gave him an A.
BernzMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but I tutor some kids in KS3 physics (KS3 is school years 7-9 in the UK, for ages 11-14) and I was trying to summarise a 30-minute discussion about saving energy, which included recycling waste. I knew one of the students had zoned out, so I wanted to try catch him out. I asked him "what do we do with our waste materials?" He responded with "throw them in the bin."
mvicsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were learning about living and nonliving things. I ask for an example of a living thing. Student says cow. I ask for an example of nonliving. Student says zombie. Welllll... Well. Yeah, yep that's about right.
GrizzlyAdams2797 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine teaches Spanish to elementary students. She asked them what vacca meant, and one student raised his hand. He said, " I know, my dad has one every night.
mberre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mandatory Futurama Clip
Lamshoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but on the first day of this semester in bio, we were asked what trees and PE have in common. The answer he was looking for was the link between a gym and gymosperm which trees have. My answer was that tree have leaves and leaves are green and green means go and the opposite of go is stop and another word for stop is end and I just wish PE would end. Got a good laugh out of the class and the teacher complemented me on it as well.
AnneMash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir I am Serious.
Just_A_Faze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you then, I guess. You would do well with Alzheimer's. Mortal fear for me. No big deal to you.
plorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher myself - this was something a classmate of mine said back in high school.
Biology class, we're covering sexual and asexual reproduction. Next to me is Brian, nice guy, loud jock type, not one who's especially sharp or quick-witted.
The teacher asks "And what are some of the pros of asexual reproduction?"
Brian, right away, shouts "It doesn't matter what you look like"
I thought that was brilliant.
Just_A_Faze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a sad thing to hear.
johnson_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with technical theatre students, building sets and things like that. I walked into the workshop one day and found a student sat atop and sawing through sheet of hardboard, which he had balanced between two table (apparently all the work benches were in use). He was sat directing above the gap in the tables. My question was: What will when you cut through that? His reply: I'll be done! Technically yes, yes you will....
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's not gonna get all the way through before it snaps haha
MagicalKartWizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:09 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, only the half of board he's not sitting on will fall. Don't you ever watch Looney Tunes?
KaraWolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:49:52 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol of course I have. If he doesnt look down he wont fall at all!
Pimpdaddypepperjack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student but we were doing some type of state assessment test. On the Math portion we always had one particular question where they gave us space to work the question out then a follow up question that asked how did you come to this answer. I simply wrote "see example above" or something line that
olddirtdoggg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good friend In health class. What does the scrotum do in the heat. Correct answer is hangs lower to stay cooler. He said " stick to your leg".
theloveaffair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a student teacher and I was teaching 7th grade science. We were talking about the difference between genetic engineering and mutation in animals. I said something like, "mutations are random/naturally occurring whereas genetic engineering involves human intervention." I had a kid raise his hand and say, "Human intervention means beastiality right??"
Wrong kind of human intervention, kiddo.
merajoytotheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:07 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I once checked a test paper where the instruction was to "Draw a Mouse and label its parts" and the student draw a literal mouse with labels on its anatomical parts like head, eyes, ears etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:55 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We were reading the final speech from Charlie Chaplin's great dictator and I asked for something that poison's men's souls--there's a bit about it in the speech and I wanted to make it clear with a new example. One kid whispered women when the classroom was completely silent thinking.
He is an old soul.
self_writeous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:50 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They had to write down something they had never done before. One of my students wrote: I never died. He wasn't wrong so I marked it correctly.
I had a kid about 4 or 5 years old. Gave him a maze to complete. After 10 seconds while the others were still busy, he said he was finished. I asked him how he could be finished. He said: I jumped from here to there.
KassellTheArgonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my history teacher asked us "why did the population of earth begin to rise quickly during the 1900's?" I answered faulty condoms and got sent to the principal
TwentyFiveChestnuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:56 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but a fellow student.
Once we were doing really basic cell division review, and the teacher was giving us diagrams and asking us to identify whether it's mitosis or meiosis.
One guy got picked, said meiosis, got it wrong. Teacher asks the girl next to me, who was daydreaming at the time.
Teacher (confidently, fully expecting her to not have any problems answering, hence the vague question): "Okay, [Name], what's the one that's not meiosis?"
Girl (just as confidently): "Cancer."
I mean... I guess?
ThierryMercury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:44 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A series of sentences where the verb is left out and the students had to fill in the appropriate word from a list. "The man _____ up the street." Correct answer: walked. The car _____ up the street. Correct answer: drove. The tank _____ up the street. Correct answer: trundled. Student's answer: blew.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:49 on March 17, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESL teacher: Students had to fill in the blank with the appropriate Valentine's Day Vocabulary word.
Mark told Lisa he had warm feelings for her. He felt _________for her.
Student filled in the blank with what looked like "erection"- correct answer was affection. Student was just sounding it out and forgot to cross the f.
Not marking it wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:10 on March 18, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a seven year old brother and I made the mistake of watching family guy with him on the couch. One day at school, the teacher asks "What do you guys do at home?" and my brother responds with "Have inappropriate sex". Of course I found out because my parents weren't home and the school asked me to come in and speak to the principal about this...he knew me from when I was little so he wasn't surprised.
Pickphlow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:09 on March 19, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late by a few days, but my personal favorite:
"If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?"
Student: "Uhh... Alive??"
whatxever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:27 on March 20, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a witness.
This was middle school & two kids were doing some long boring presentation. They were both quite the jokers and eventually got the entire class laughing. The teacher goes, "Alright, guys. Stop laughing! Get a grip!" They both exchange a look and reach out to grab the table in front of them. Needless to say, that only made everyone laugh even harder.
RaisinBrawn64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:38 on March 22, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "What are genes made of?" Student, believing the word to be jeans: "Denim!"
That student may or may not have been me....sophomore year of high school. I'm still recovering...
beverfar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:07 on March 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last year, I was teaching high school science about basic genetics. On a test, there was a question to name a trait that is from the environment, one that is inherited, and one that is both.
For the inherited trait he wrote: "Money and house".
(Sorry, for my non-native English.)
Onion_Brewski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:56:13 on May 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/magnetboost u/wigga1234
GoldenSandslash15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:36 on June 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personal Finance class, learning about investments.
Question: "Give an example of a risk."
Answer: "This."
Got full credit.
eborrowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:51 on July 3, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What evidence exists that the Big Bang occurred? 'Science' Half credit.
zombiemakemelol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:39 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was me not the student but... still funny. Student does something dumb and when I tell him to cut it out he yells, "Your not my dad!"
I ask him, "How do you know?"
Little fucker shut up for a while.
Roylmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, technically you were his dad?
zombiemakemelol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:19:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he was right, I'm not his dad, but I cast doubt on that by implying I could have fucked his mom at some point.
Offensive_joke_lord ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher and I'm totally just showing off my own joke (it did actually happen, though,) but,
Teacher: "What was Rosa Parks famous for?"
Student: "Complaining."
Firenter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:24:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out!
MrLimeLyte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that is a fucking terrible representation of what she did.
Offensive_joke_lord ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terrible is my talent!
jfuss04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:35 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barbershop. Rosa parks didn't do nothing but sit her black ass down
Daemon_Antares ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but still have to tell the story because it was hilarious to me at the time. So one time I was doing homework and my goddaughter who was 4 at the time, asked me what I was doing. At the time, I was looking over stuff pertaining to electricity, and she noticed it before I could even reply. She then proceeded to say, "Hey! That's electricity, right?" I of course said yes, because she was right. "Yeah, its electricity. I'm surprised you know what that is. Do you know what we use electricity for?" She replied, "I do! That's the stuff that comes out of the holes in the wall." I assumed she meant outlets. Next thing I heard from her was, "I'm not supposed to touch those. They are bad." I was testing her intelligence because I wanted to see just how much she knew about it, so I asked why outlets were bad. She then said, "Because if you touch them, you go electricity bye bye."
"Electricity bye bye" She meant electrocuted
Tashgod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In discussing a European trip that our school has every year, one student asked "why can't the trip be to Africa"?
Ssgogo1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does this have to do with the post?
akjoltoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread will be a gold mine for /r/thathappened posts.
MalHeartsNutmeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All stalls and bathroom doors I've ever been through pull in. They tend to be high traffic areas. Surely opening outward would be a code violation.
Immamurican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was teaching kindergarten and I asked three students, "okay kids, what letter makes the "buh" sound?"
And this one kid gets all excited and shouts, "BUH!!!!!!!"
All I could respond with was, "...okay, but what letter is that?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just yesterday I turned in a homework assignment for an Audio Signals course asking me, "can you rephrase a logarithm and solve for X?"
I simply put "yes." I hopefully find out if I got the points tomorrow.
the_76th_trombone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I applied for college and the prompt was "Give an example of a risk you are willing to take"
All I wrote was:
This.
bmd473 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:56 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My child's response to a question on her math homework
Answer
Maggot149 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know"
Syyiailea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my Journalism class, we were trying to name synonyms for "Destory". After a few other people went, I raised my hand and said, "Emancipation" because of the Emancipation Grills in Portal. Only when the class laughed at me did I finally understand that joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we had a test in AP US that asked who a popular socialist and I put Bernie Sanders because I couldn't remember who it was actually pertaining to
wootamatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:24 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher. But back in middle school when we were learning about world religions, and studying catholism in Florida public school, my teacher asked about the requirements to be Pope. Now keep in mind that while I was a class clown, this 70 year old was returning to teaching after having a heart attack in the middle of class. This carcass of a teacher asked us to name 1 requirement to be Pope, I raise my hand, she calls on me. I say, "the Pope needs to be Catholic." She says, "Get out of my class, you are causing me stress!"
Bac0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:09 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son, the smartass, had to answer a question about a boy doing an experiment and what did he learn at the end? He answered, "he learns if his hypothesis is correct or not." No credit but not inaccurate ๐
DynamiteRiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 8th grade health education, we learned about multiple ways to "say no" to sexual advances, and I forgot the 5th way on one of our quizzes. So I wrote down "tell them you have AIDS," and I got credit for it :D
thehaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On an essay midterm, essay just stops and student writes "I don't really know what I'm talking about or how to finish this"
Capt_Smashnballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: every third comment has the words "not a teacher but..."
Strange_July ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher: "Hi, good to meet you. Where are you from?"
Student: "My momma."
SolasV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What are positive and negative feedback?" (In a biology class)
"Negative feedback is when you do something and you know your parents are gonna beat you, so you stop doing it. Positive feedback is when you're positive your parents are gonna beat you."
Well, the first half is.. Kinda right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a teacher. I'm the student that gave the dumb answer that was also technically correct. Kindergarten Teacher: What are your parents names?
Me: Mom and dad.
Teacher: Yes, what are their names?
Me: MOM and DAD.
Teacher: I mean their real names.
Me: Mom an dad.
Teacher: What do other people call your mom and dad?
Me: ?
joshanvk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Search in youtube for induction motor scene from movie 3 idiots. I found it really funny. Engineering students will relate to it
joshanvk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those who wants to watch a real fun movie. Watch 3 idiots. Top rated Indian movie
_russell_mania_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but when I was in 9th grade science class our teacher asked, "What is something that everyone wakes up with? Morning...", my friend next to me told me to shout "morning wood". So I did, not realizing at the time what that term meant. The teacher and everyone in the class burst out with laughter, I got embarrassed. Turns out she was looking for "Morning BREATH"
will4531 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a kindergartner what comes after 999. She thought for about 15 seconds and said ten-hundred.
I was so impressed that she came to that answer on her own. It's the correct naming convention she just hadn't been told you switch to "thousand" before ten thousand, etc
Jollibeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
รuuuu24429f
islandtheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hinduism vocabulary quiz: "Nirvana: an old 90s band."
PKMNtrainerKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was just learning the alphabet, my teacher asked me what letter comes after A. I said D.
I mean, I wasn't technically wrong
SteveDougson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to teach grade five classes in English to non-native speakers. I had one student who was like my little personal lesson debugger who caught me anytime I used any sort of language that was somewhat symbolic like idioms, metaphors, slang, etc. It was sometimes frustrating but often a good reminder that I needed to be more careful with my language given my students' situation. He had a very unique viewpoint and my very uneducated diagnosis is that he is on the spectrum. For this anecdote, I'm going to call him Turok.
We had a unit on exploration and I thought it would be interesting to use Google Street View Treks to virtually tour Petra. The purpose was to encourage inquisitive thinking and so I asked the class to share their questions and from those questions we tried to have discussions. After it was done I asked my class for one minute of silence. They were to think of a question they wanted answered and then write it and attach it to the "Wonder Wall". I was surprised how seriously they respected the minute of silence and the majority of students used that time with great concentration.
Most of the questions I got were exactly what you'd expect from a grade five class learning in a second language. A few questions were unintelligible and a few were fantastically thoughtful. The only one I can remember today though came from my little debugger. While all the other students spent their minute of silence wondering how many people lived at Petra or what they are, Toruk desperately wanted to know, "Why are we silent?"
LearBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but in health class, we were asked what the white stuff under guys' foreskin was. One of my classmates raised his hand and blurted out,
"Isnt that called dick cheese!?"
Laughter from everyone including the teacher erupted.
mickey4691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So as a student, I was given a chemistry exam and for the questions that I didn't know I put "no comment".
tipitamd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:41 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in 4th grade during a history lesson I was in the middle of daydreaming and my teacher asked me a question.
Teacher: "tipitamd what is a treaty?" Me: "uhhhhhh.... a snack?!?"
30goingon50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two come to mind: 1. I once had a student state that MLK, "wanted to bring people together and stuff." 2. I've had numerous students refer to the American Civil War as "The War Between the States." I usually chalk this terminology up to either being from a family of Lost Cause-types, homeschooled in the South, or both.
kellykins17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An unsolicited response, yet still accurate:
Me: "Abraham Lincoln ended slavery for the North."
Student: "Abraham Lincoln didn't end slavery forever; there's still jails!"
whalemango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:37 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave a student an extension on their essay, and said, "will you have it in by Friday?" And his response was, "oh yeah. My sister will be finished it by then."
eleccentricity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of semantic errors in programming, since computers are very stupid children (ex. printing a list object just gives you the reference to that list). Especially if the referenced classes are badly written.
Pnk-Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write the seasons in Spanish:
Spring-a, summer-o, winter-o, fall-a
gman343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Where was Van Gogh buried?"
"In the ground"
drozell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was a teachers assistant in high school and I was grading homework assignments for the freshman class. One of the questions was "what animal is at the top of the food chain?" in relation to a specific biome and the student's answer was "falcon because it's up in da sky."
debesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little bit late but in my junior year of high school my us history teacher asked rather broadly what did bill Clinton do? Without skipping a beat I said Monica Lewinsky. That was the proudest moment of my high school career.
knutenez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Learning that adding "er" to a verb creates a noun that means, "one who does said verb." The teacher (not me) was going through some examples and asked my buddy, "What is a hoser?" My buddy, "uhhh...someone who toots in the bathtub and eats the bubbles."
Trainer_Kyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asked if he could tell me the name of two great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives. He said "Smo-king and Drin-king". Needless to say, I resigned!
Mascot44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a ski instructor and about two weeks ago I had a kid pee himself. It was snowing and in an effort to cheer the kid who peed himself up another one of my kids said,
"Hey it's okay. The sky is peeing right now."
This kid is going places, not in skiing (pretty shitty skier) but places nonetheless.
ILearnToPhotoshop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my old teacher told me of someone who got a test which ask them to write what bordom was. one student wrote "This." nothing more, the student ended up getting an "F".
ThatOneZook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but was in the same class. We were learning about heat conductors and insulator and our teacher asked "When would you want a good conductor?" And the class clown said "If you were branding cows!" Some people stifle a giggle. Then when she asks "When would you want a good insulator?" And the class clown shouted "WHEN YOU'RE THE COW ABOUT TO BE BRANDED!" And everyone, including me, was hysterical.
DJAviade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teaching abroad in England and I ask a student for a rubber(eraser in the states) and get handed a condom with a confused and slightly scared look.
ThisKoala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, was the student. Happened when I was 7. Was called to sit beside teacher to read a story out loud to her. I did, pointing at the words while doing so. Was told off for it, was told that's not how you read to someone. I responded, in all innocence, that I was doing it for her, so she could follow along. Yup, was an asshole then, asshole now.
VIPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a class and the teacher was projecting onto the whiteboard and a student was writing in citations and such. He wrote a period after a sentence and the teacher moved the screen up. I asked where it was (the quote we were talking about) and a student replied "between the a and the e" (talking about the period the student just wrote on the white board.) I about died laughing
aemorgen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The United States probably would not have entered World War I had the factors that led us into the war not occurred."
I've had the above written on a note in my phone for the last three years. I told him he presented a flawless argument.
armafast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This student showing her thinking. http://imgur.com/sSM6H7o
LetItOutBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:05 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend taking a test in third grade. He came across a word problem along the lines of "If Timmy has these such coins, dime nickel penny, and he wants to buy a teddy bear that costs 3.98 how does Timmy pay using the least amount of coins. Friend's response was "credit card".
marcuschookt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the student in this case.
When I was in primary 2 (8 years old) they tried to introduce the most basic elements of algebra into our math syllabus. In one of our exams there was a question to the effect of:
2@ = 4
@ = ?
Having been an early bloomer in the "never paid attention and sucked at math" department, I had ZERO idea what any of this gibberish meant. So in a last ditch attempt to pass I wrote "@ means at".
God bless my teacher I know how hard she tried to hold it in but as she was handing out the test results later she just burst out laughing at my answer and little me was so embarrassed I teared up and fell super silent for the rest of class and for the rest of my math education for the rest of my life.
Joseph1711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my aunt teaches final year english at an all boys school in country Ireland. They are talking about homosexuality and my aunt asks the class what they think about socities views on gay people (Ireland being a predominantly conservative and god fearing nation)
One lad says "ah now miss, homosexuality is a bit like wifi, you get plenty of it in the city, but the further you come out to the country, not so much"
She had to excuse her self from class to laugh
hidarkness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, someone told me this:
Philosophy test. Teacher grabs a chair, puts it on the table. He gives a sheet of paper to each student and sais: "You have two hours to convince me that this chair doesn't exist". Everybody is like " what the fuck do I do". Five minutes later a student gives his paper to the teacher. He reads it and states that he got an A+. Nobody understands how the fuck he did it or what he wrote. At the end of the test, a mate asks that guy what the hell did he write. He sais: "What chair?".
joeavic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a teacher but once my chemistry teacher asked about a substance that turns into solid state from liquid on heating.
I answered jalebi.
Jalebi : Indian sweet dish. When poured on hot sweet liquid, it becomes solid from liquid.
RealHungryRobots ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. They're fried. What kind of shady jalebi were you fed? You pour the semi-solid dough (I have no better way of describing it) on a huge quantity of really hot oil and it fries (therefore solidifies) and floats on the surface.
Shirley_Lujan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's a really boring person, I'd like to think that the only difference between the adult and the kid is that the adult has tried the other 24 and know they don't work well
Philip_Gober ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:11:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had to take my 2nd year of biomedicine uni exams while on chemo and had a bad chest infection. The painkillers they gave me were awesome, I was high as a kite. I was doing the human anatomy paper and there was a question about digestion and I wrote a story about how someone ate some cake and it's adventure through their body until it finally reached a shitty end. One question asked us to describe a cancer treatment and it's effects on the body. So I went into great detail about my last chemo session. The hour long wait for treatment; the sickly yellow of the ward; how much I would vomit if they gave me the wrong antisickness tablet; the ways the drugs were administered and how much it fucking hurt my veins; how and why my wee would be red afterwards; how old people would talk at me, telling me I shouldn't have cancer, during treatment at the ward. Somehow I knew all the drug names and what they did and then went through the day by day of the 14 days of side effects between treatments and the long term effects too. Ended it off with something about chemo sucks major ass and I'm all bald now, would not repeat. Then I drew hedgehogs for the rest of the time. I have no idea what the person marking it must have thought, but it was the only exam I passed that week. Edit (weeks too late!): obligatory thanks for the gold!! Never had gold before! What do I do now? :D I've been in remission for a year and a half. Kicked the painkiller addiction last month. Side effects come and go, but I'm finally ready to go back to work! Won't go back to biomedicine though, been through too much there. Thanks for all the replies and sorry I didn't look sooner. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of the hedgehogs I drew, can't have phone in exams.
RyanfromChi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you copy someone else's comment from a completely different post?
Ender513 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:51 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a bot that copy pastes relevent good answers from another thread
stringrbelloftheball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my SO.
She was teaching the kids about inference and pretended to call the vet talking about her cat Buttercup getting her shots. When she was done she asked the students who she was calling.
First kid said a veterinarian. The other said the professor. Well it was a vet why did you think it was a professor?
"Cause the Professor takes care of buttercup on Powerpuff girls!"
I dont do the story justice by any means but it was so so funny and this kid definitely had a good line of thinking haha
theythink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:21 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C
Ehleesah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a spanish teacher I can say you MUST write "answer in Spanish" for any kind of questions or assignments. There are always a few students who will answer in English, regardless of how obviously it has to be in Spanish and argue that they are technically correct.
Waryur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:58 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our Spanish teacher wrote "ยกno inglรฉs!" on the top of one of the tests. The Syrian kid just wrote in Arabic.
Jaikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend of mine in a GCSE Physics mock answered "How is a black hole formed?" with "When an explodified star goes blamo".
JeIIyDM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chemistry Teacher: Name something basic.
Student: White girls.
Chem Teacher: Detention. 7:30. Tomorrow.
TimeJustHappens ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of have the reverse. We were doing probability in 4th grade, really basic stuff. The question asked how likely the person was to pick a blue ball (something like three blue balls out of 12 differemt colored ones), however unaware of my smart-assery I decided it was extremely likely because all the blue balls were at the top of the container, so obviously the person will pick them right?
Teacher couldnt understand what I ment and gave me no credit. That problem will always stick with me, and I think of it every time a teacher refuses to consider an alternate way of doing a problem.
xtoolbearx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:29:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher for computer engineering who asked on his exam "divide the following numbers" then provided two binary numbers. His intention was that I use ones or twos compliment, a very complex equation to do the division. Instead, I did a super simple conversion to regular base 10, did the math then the really simple conversion back to base 2 (binary) and got perfect on a question without having to study the very complex formula
daedalus1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:10 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Floating point binary never stuck in my head. You're not alone.
no2ironman1100 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:56:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, But as usual, The teacher asked me what did I do for my vacations.
I replied:"I jerked off"
CatManDontDo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:41:19 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach health in middle school. A test question was "How do you feel when a friend tells your secret to someone else?" I was expecting answers like 'angry, sad, upset, etc.' The kid responds with a sad face emoji, an angry face emoji and a middle finger emoji.
I wrote on his test "Not technically wrong but use words next time."
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 01:03:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LilShpeeThatCould ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:03:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher resigned! ๐๐๐๐
jenny159 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 05:44:17 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
funniest answer you've gotten from a student that technically wasn't wrong?
LilShpeeThatCould ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:04:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's the question.
kouyou ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Myself in 3 different years in elementary school.
Preschool: It was in Fall, we were decorating our class with some colorfull paper trees. We each had one tree to do with some glue and some paper that we crumpled. But I hated this and only put a few pieces of paper as leaves. My teacher came and saw that I wasn't doing much and asked me "Charles, where did all the leaves go?" and me answering "Oh, there was a big gust of wind and they all fell"
1st Grade: I'm from Montreal Canada and I speak French. Our teacher was asking for words ending by the sound "U". I quickly raised my hand and said before my teacher told me to "Tu pus" which means after translation "you stinks".
2nd Grade: The teacher had placed us in a row at the front of the classroom, because we were going outside for recess.Fooling with my friends, I was playing with a paper plane at the front of the row where our teacher was. If I remember correctly, paper planes where forbidden at my elementary school so my teacher said "Charles you should put your paper plane in the trashcan because if you keep throwing it, you could hit me in the eye" I quickly replied to him "Well no Daniel, you are safe you wear glasses!"
Sorry if some parts are not written correctly, I had to translate from French and it was some times ago ( all 3 pre 2000)!
tohfcl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in an ACT prep class & the question was "what part of the cell stores energy" or something like that (the answer was "ATP", whatever that is).
... ... ...
All these Juniors & no one had a clue.
"Well the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:30 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ATP is a particular molecule that stores a shit ton of energy in one of its bonds, but is fairly easy to pull apart and put together.
tohfcl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah? Well most of our class just remembers the mitochondria thing so it's a joke to most of us lol
KaraWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:08 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmhm :) figured Id answer your "whatever that is"
Technically a great try and probably hilarious. XD
lmaoxdbamboozled ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:15:27 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We we're learning about WW2 and the question was "how many Jews died in WW2?" He put "Not enough"
CasualgamingUSA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:12:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember one time we had an extra credit question on a test in 4th grade and question was why did we switch from a 9 month calendar to a 12 month one and I wrote "cause mrs.eye said so" when the real answer was cause the winter was longer than the calendar said it should be but I still got it right.
da_chos3n_One ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:59:45 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAWKSNATION
RaoulDuke209 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:00:50 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I were a daddy I'd copy paste to get my kid liked so he didn't have to have good grades. I wonder if that'd get his papers too much attention though
wambamsamalamb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:21:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher, but still classic: I was in my physics class and my professor was lecturing about electricity and such. When he got to an new unit, he'd give us the letter the unit was abbreviated too, then he'd have us guess the name. When we got to Watts, he asked us what the "W" stood for. And student with Aspergers and a Spongebob backpack irked out "WUMBO!"
dudewhoisnotfunny ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:21:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher asked a student to name an animal that lives in the artic
He said elves ...
lemlwy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:22:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but I was a student in some science class one day and I got a quiz or test that asked about how fast does a cheetah run. I didn't know how fast exactly so I just wrote "very fast".
leightravels ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but back in 2013, my brothers teacher asked him a question in his journal "Was Pedro Martinez right by punching Zimmer who is 72 years old?" My brother responds with "Yes, because he's old and gonna die soon anyway."
Stratotally ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:43:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does this remind anyone of readers digest?
yosimba2000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:58:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God, I love those! I use to read them only for the jokes. The regular ones and the military ones.
conejitobrinco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:53:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but it was a classmate of mine. We were in a literature class when his phone goes off with the mighty morphing power rangers comm sound. The teacher angrily asks "whats that?"
And this fat guy with the squeekiest voice a 17 yo could have says "sorry miss, zordon is calling". I died haha.
Btw his voice was like that he didnt fake it for the sake of the joke.
s4rKRS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing we just kept on walking, I don't think he knew what he said.
SpondayMustaqbal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:31:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not actually mine, but a friend of mine was teaching a group of five year olds. When asked, what things can you find in a forest, one of the kids keenly replied:
"A Wall!"
edit: typo
bamjacklert ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:33:04 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you not shaving because you give up on looking good?"
Yes.
skymack ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:39:44 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had homework in Spanish class in high school where we were supposed to translate a word and use it in a sentence. I didn't notice the "use it in a sentence" part til a few minutes before she went around checking off our homework. I quickly wrote "me gusta" in front of every word and she actually said something along the lines of "technically, those are sentences."
Later I was called on to write my answer "I like student desk" on the board.
notmebutjim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:53:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
69LordChanka69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:37:22 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a science Exam. (It was a bit hard) . Anyway once finished our science teacher was discussing the paper. She was clearly pissed. She started telling us that some students wrote "google it" on questions and others wrote "i love u teacher, please give me full marks (love sign) ). And she was extremely mad.
This is the teacher that wastes whole periods disscussing social issues lol. Like for instance she spent a whole lessons teaching us how it was not ok to have a gf or bf etc... and How bullying was not ok. Also how slapping kids as discipline was necessery. Anyway she left in the next semester.
John_Baez ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:18:12 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All wrong, the answer is - 'Who's a right bastard?'."
Mervin_Espinoza ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:16:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cancer is gone but sadly he no longer can draw hedgehogs well.
Anna_Dixon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:22:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, I noticed."
Tony_Harrington ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:26:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not the most outrageous interaction, but it came with a twist. I had a helicopter parent get extremely aggressive and threatening when his daughter was given a B on her progress report. Whatever, dude. It's not a real grade, chill. The student later earned an A because it was deserved, not because dad was bullying me. Fast forward about a year, he was arrested while on the family vacation to the home country for arranging and paying for his wife's murder. I wasn't that shocked, honestly.
Kristin_Hsieh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:34:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was slapped by my father when I came 2nd in my class. 5th grade. 20 years back. I am Indian. 'Twas pretty common for parents to slap kids for poor academic performance. Just that I was actually a damn good student, the 2nd best, I mean. The next year, I changed sections to avoid that one guy I couldn't beat. EDIT: Just to clarify, Indian IN India, not in the US
electric_oven ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:36:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a 10th grade discussion regarding the sex scenes between Winston and Julia in 1084: "Miss, Winston slayed Julia."
thenerdydovah ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:41:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. His answer was Jesus.
GameOfWestworld ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:44:11 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student here: I was doing a quiz on pressure and gas for chemistry. The question asked to find an example of an explosion due to too much pressure. I said that my frustration explodes because too much pressure is put on it
nunto ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:30:57 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kid didn't know the answer... drew the fail whale instead. I laughed and gave him the mark
Princess_Everdeen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:34:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calculus Teacher: what is a log?
Me: a piece of wood.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:31 on March 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, 1รท10n
You know, whatever works! ;P
a-r-c ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:36:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid was going to Greece on vacation to visit family over Thanksgiving break.
Other kid asked if he was going over there to celebrate Thanksgiving.
nolsIL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:58 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a friend once took a biology examination being required to list the advantages of sexual and asexual reproduction. Seemingly he didn't know a good reason against asexual reproduction and therefore wrote: "The kids are growing up missing one parent"
The teacher answered to this by explaining how animals reproducing asexually don't express parental behavior. Great teacher 5/7
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multiple recastings of "This is the man that I bought yesterday," proving that the student was both very aware of what they were writing and that they properly understood the target grammar. I snatched that the hell away from the other teacher and marked it right before he could do anything about it.
[deleted] ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 23:23:27 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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LightChaos ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:42:38 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Context?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:10:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just want you to know that I appreciate you, and that someone got your joke.
Morasar ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:54:02 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was writing about solubility, talked about gods
bobdebicker ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:11:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So how does Shakespeare characterize Mercutoio?"
"He's just extra, like, all the time."
Also, when introducing our unit on Homer and the Odyssey, and talking about mythology from different areas of the world:
"Who can give me an example of an American myth?"
"......global warming?"
I
taramcclay ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:48:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a student a friend of mine ( artist) drew a pic of a hotdog ask wrote please accept this hotdog as an answer the teacher did
joshbeck ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:46 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4 year-old said "Santa is a criminal and he should be in jail."
I realized she was right since Santa can be charged on breaking and entering.
skittles_rainbows ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:42 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PAPAYA. Yes I am a teacher and that was a response. I took it to mean yes.
HGMIx3 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:28 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The assignment was my final philosophy exam of the semester. The prompt was to describe what risk means to you.
My buddy responded "This"
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:43 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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JagoKestral ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:15 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please put spaces after your punctuation marks. Like this.
nellydawg360 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:23 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definetly wrong but her answer is pretty clever! http://i.imgur.com/30232E5.jpg
warlord91 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my sister used to say dam all the time because we could say we ment dam as in a structure holding back water lol
Fly-Young-Gentleman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:47 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The I RRR refer d zxfff UC UV UVyyreetc yyreetc De xfxy ddzxfffcccgg gfxcx
Lamataquenomata ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:34 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I took a selfie with one of my kindergarteners and showed it to her: she replied:"that's not me! How is that posible!? " I'm still laughing cuz it just happened like an hour ago
AltoSaxGuy123 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a teacher but a witness. In science class we were going over the atmosphere and weather. The teacher asked, "where does the weather come?" My friend (who is religious) yelled out, "JEEEEESUSSSS!" Could be technically right depending on your views
Josephdalepi ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:31 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student Question on test: why does communism not work? Answer: people are dicks Knew I got it cause the teacher started laughing so hard she had to tell my class
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:59 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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SubtleMockery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even right....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:25 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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SubtleMockery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wrote "year 1000". It'd be weird if Jesus was born 1000 years into the calendar that marked his birth.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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SubtleMockery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:14 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for being that guy. Couldn't fight it this time.
_evil_overlord_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:48 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you men HRE (Holy Roman Empire)? Austro-Hungarian Empire didn't exist in year 1000.
Elessa3r ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my buddy. "How do lesbian couples decide who has the man's role?" Answer: "The hairy one!"
The class was in full shambles for the next 15 minutes.
TallScratch ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:36 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old university professor once explained about a friend or colleague he had that was a philosophy professor and set an exam question 'What is the bravest thing you have ever done' and one of the students left after ten seconds of the exam having only written 'This.' - couldn't give him a bad grade!
uncle_balls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:39:38 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That student's name, Albert Einstein
WingedGundark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:49 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this from several different sources which makes me believe the thing is a) urban legend b) teachers are actually gullible morons who not only use the same stupid question in their tests repeatedly, but also give a pass to students who are not just lazy, but also very uningenious. I'm personally leaning towards the a) option.
shitnoway ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:20 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine but a friend told me about it recently.
on a school quiz about WHS risks and hazards
Q: give an example of a 'risk'.
A. "This"
He got a point for that answer.
Freddi_Elliott ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:40 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to Urban Dictionary, its a woman who holds the drugs while her boyfriend sells them. Edit: Lesson learned. Paraphrasing Urban Dictionary = fuckloads of upvotes. Noted.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 23:37:47 on March 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not a teacher. In my AP World History class, one of the questions was who created Hiduism. So I said, "Some asian guy". I didn't get any points for that.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:11:33 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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TheProfessor_Reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:16 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it hard that you are a teacher, acting like that
Jack1715 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 06:49:03 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use to say things about Islam that would be considered racist but i always had facts to back it and my philosophy teacher was always like well your not making staff up haha
PaperSlate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:39:07 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like what did you say
grizzfan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:54 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a classmate in middle school who was a real smart-ass. It's not technically answering a question wrong, but it's in the same vein of humor.
Student A and Student B are being dicks in class. Student A is following Student B's lead.
Teacher just sent him to the office right there. Her face didn't lie. She knew he won that argument.
saxfreak01 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my friend who is normally quite shy.
Beautiful girl, let's call her L, is explaining difference between hot and spicy after a teacher brought it up
L says: "A taco is spicy, and I am hot. You can eat a taco, but you can't eat me."
My buddy gets the dirtiest look on his face and says "Actually, you can..."
The class and the teacher both fucking lost it.
Edit: had friend correct details, also better fits question asked.
Eccentriclefty ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:42:55 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an English teacher in Spain.
I was revising parts of the body with one of my private students. I'd given here a body to label and she had labelled the groin as well. We were looking over the work she had and I asked her what that was (as I couldn't read the word she had written) and she said the word "vulva" o.0
Needless to as I was very surprised and corrected her (while trying not to laugh).
P.S. later on I learned that this is the polite way that children are taught to say a girl's private parts. However, this would not be expectable in English.
cuzimapervert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:01 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
saying vulva isn't acceptable in English?
This is how you get to 20 years old without women even knowing how their parts work, lol, as vulva is 100% anatomically accurate and as such should be considered polite.
Eccentriclefty ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:00 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's acceptable in like a doctor's office but telling your colleague or an acquitance that your vulva hurts is a bit more information than most people would be comfortable. Especially as it is so visual.
Maybe it's cos I grew in the UK where everyone is reserved. So in the UK, it would not be appropriate to use formally.
KaraWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:53 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand its not exactly polite to tell a colleague your "any word for vagina" hurts in the first place. (American)
throwaway1point1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A very key point, lol...
cuzimapervert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:29 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair... if you don't think you should use "vulva" in a setting, you probably shouldn't be talking about your parts to begin with, or go even deeper into euphemism and stick with "lady parts", lol
The_Sharpie_Is_Black ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:18 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"teachers of Reddit"
There has got to be 100,000 fucking titles that start with that on here..
There are other careers, you know...
I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:06 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Pedantics of reddit..." just doesn't have the same ring to it.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:51:52 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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PedanticPlatypodes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:32 on March 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What